#and ultimately it no longer becomes a question of 'which of us is seeing the real thing'

[pbandfluff]

the way my brain comes up with extended metaphor explanations for shit i will never be asked about, but it always seems so accomplished when it manages it so i just let the fucker keep doing it

[theemporium]

[1.6k] in which a flower bouquet arrives at your door that certainly wasn't sent by your boyfriend. (based off this request)

series masterlist

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In your defence, you had nothing to do with the prank. 

It had taken a while for Luke to come around to the idea of you and Quinn being together. He loved you both, wanted nothing more than two of his favourite people in the world to be happy. But it still took some time to get used to the shift in relationships considering almost a year ago the two of you barely spoke. 

But all things considered, he was doing much better than you expected—except for one thing. 

Luke had deemed it necessary that his brother proved himself worthy of dating his best friend. 

You thought he was joking. Quinn thought he was being dramatic. And Jack thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard, meaning he totally enabled his younger brother into taking the whole thing seriously. 

You had expected Luke to give his oldest brother a shovel talk. Maybe threaten him a little. Maybe even whine about it a little longer, because honestly he got over that phase a lot quicker than you expected. 

You hadn’t expected a series of trials to be set up for your boyfriend.

It started off with random questions thrown at Quinn at the most unsuspecting times, ways for Luke to see if his older brother really knew you. He asked about your favourite colour, your favourite snacks, what you liked when you were sad and so many more simple questions that had Quinn rolling his eyes as he answered. 

Then, it escalated to throwing random scenarios. Like what Quinn would do if you were stranded and he was halfway across the country. Or what Quinn would do if you had been abducted by aliens and returned with no memory of him. Or what Quinn would do if you decided to become a diehard Leafs fan.

It was annoying for Quinn, but ultimately it was harmless. 

You hadn’t realised there was another test. You hadn’t realised you inspired it when you were on the phone with Luke a couple of weeks ago. 

It became a staple in your relationship for Quinn to send you a bouquet of flowers. It was his little way of showing he cared, of showing that distance wasn’t going to get in between him showing his love for you. It was sweet and it made your heart swoon and he fucking adored the way you always called him as soon as they arrived, sharing your reaction to his chosen bouquet each time.

So, in all honesty, it was no shock to you when a bouquet had been delivered to your door that morning. You hadn’t bothered to look for a note because you knew who it was from, you knew that Quinn would probably walk out of your room and see the flowers and throw some stupid, cheesy line at you that had your body flushing. 

“What the fuck?”

It never occurred to you that Quinn was never the one who sent them. 

He stumbled out of your room around thirty minutes after you initially woke up, his eyes still tired and bleary from sleep. He was dragging his feet along the floor as he walked, a pair of sweatpants halfheartedly thrown on as he went off to find you and try to drag you back to bed. After all, it wasn’t often he got the chance to visit you during the season. Spending that limited time together in bed sounded ideal to him. 

However, his body was wide fucking awake the second he walked into the kitchen and saw an unfamiliar bouquet of flowers sat on the counter.

You turned to look at him, your smile waning a little when you noticed his pissed off expression. “Jesus, I know you’re bad before coffee in the mornings but I’ve never seen you this grumpy.” 

Quinn ignored the jab, nodding towards the flowers. “Who sent you those?” 

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What? You did?”

Quinn frowned as he turned to look at you. “No, I didn’t. I chose tulips. Those aren’t tulips.” 

You shot him a blank look, very well aware the huge bouquet of red roses were not tulips. 

“Maybe you forgot what you chose,” you told him with a shrug, taking a step towards him so you could wind your arms around his waist. You felt him lean into the embrace, wrapping one arm around you as the other reached towards the flowers. “You can’t remember what you’ve chosen every single time.”

“I do,” Quinn said bluntly like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Of course he remembered which flowers he sent you. The boy spent more time than he cared to admit choosing a bouquet, trying to imagine which ones you’d like the most. 

“Oh,” you murmured, but there was a cheesy grin making its way on your face as you placed a quick peck to his collarbone. “Petey was right, you’re such a sap.”

“I still don’t know how I feel about this newfound friendship between you and Petey,” Quinn grumbled when he noticed a note tucked between the stems of the flowers. He reached for it, a frown on his face as his eyes glanced over the note. “Who’s George?” 

You blinked, pulling your head back. “I don’t know a George.” 

Quinn’s expression darkened. “Well, some creep called George knows you and is now sending you flowers.” 

“What?” You grumbled as you reached for the note.

pretty flowers for a pretty girl  –george xx

You blinked. “What the fuck?”

Quinn’s eyes narrowed at the bouquet of flowers, his arm tightening around you like he was proving a point. “They are a terrible set of roses anyways. Red is so tacky. What the fuck does George think it is, Valentine’s Day? He has shitty taste.” 

“I—” You turned to your boyfriend. “Some random guy has my address and is sending me shit, and your priority is his taste in bouquets?” 

“I’m just saying,” Quinn grumbled with a shrug of his shoulders. “He isn’t gonna win you over with some measly roses.” 

You shook your head in response. “Babe, you are—” 

RING! RING! RING!

The two of you froze for a short moment, glancing at each other as your phone’s ringing continued to echo through your small kitchen. There was a moment of hesitation before Quinn reached for it, shoulders tensed like he was expecting to see some unknown number on your screen.

His body visibly relaxed when he saw it was a facetime call from Luke.

He handed you the phone, settling in behind you with his arms still wound around you like he was unwilling to let go of you anytime soon. He hooked his chin on your shoulder, leaning his head against yours as you answered the call.

“Oh. Ew.” 

You rolled your eyes but smiled fondly at your best friend. “Is there a reason you’re calling me before ten? I’m surprised you’re even awake right now.”

“Just wanted to check in,” Luke said, his eyes narrowed like he was analysing something. “Hm. You look quite calm there, Quinn.”

Quinn startled a little, lifting his head. “Did you expect me not to be calm when you called?” 

“I was hoping you’d be in some caveman-ish jealous fit of rage. I had the boys on standby to make sure you didn’t tear the college down.” 

You blinked in confusion. 

“Are you George?” Quinn asked, frowning at his youngest brother’s grinning face.

“No, Quinn, my name is Luke.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re a little shit.” 

“What the hell, Luke?” You asked, sighing deeply at whatever your best friend was about to say. You already knew whatever the reason was—most likely encouraged by Jack, again—was going to be too much for your brain to handle this early in the morning. 

“What? I told you I was testing him!” Luke said, like it was the only defence he needed. “The note was hidden in the flowers to make sure he would go looking for it! I wanted to make sure he was putting in the effort with you, if he actually cared about the weird flower thing or if he would just pretend like it was fine.” 

You blinked. “You’re insane,” you said eventually, pausing for a short moment before you continued. “And it’s not a weird flower thing.” 

“I’m going to kill you when I next see you,” Quinn said, glaring at his little brother who looked far too smug for his own good. “And I’m going to shove these roses so far—”

“Talk to you later, bye!” 

You sighed, shaking your head as you let out a breathless laugh. You turned your head, finding Quinn still frowning and glowering, and gently turned his face so you could kiss him. “He’ll get tired of these tests eventually.” 

“Will he though?” Quinn muttered against your lips, his nose brushing against yours. “I swear his next test will be to tattoo your name across my forehead.”

You snorted. “If you do that, I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s rude,” he mused and, for the first time since he woke up, a hint of a smile was tugging on his lips. “What if I do it on my own accord? Maybe I just want to prove my love for you, baby.”

“I like your pretty face. I’d rather not be staring at my own name whenever I look at it,” you retorted, watching as a full smile spread across his face as he leaned down to kiss you again. 

“Cute,” he murmured before he pulled back completely, a determined glint in his eyes that you knew well. “C’mon, get ready.” 

Your brows furrowed. “What? Where are we going?”

“To burn those flowers and then grab breakfast,” he answered simply.

“Quinn—”

“I refuse to look at them any longer, babe, they are atrocious.”

“You’re so dramatic.” 

“It’s a Hughes thing.”

.

[transmutationisms]

i do think a specific shift wrt the word "privilege" that is worth chewing on is the move from a privilege being a discrete legal or financial permission—for example a printing privilege, ie permission to publish xyz, or a commercial privilege, ie permission to sell or buy or transport xyz goods—to the idea of having privilege as a sort of abstract quantity of social status. and i don't even disagree that the latter does, at least experientially, follow from the former. but trying to talk about privilege solely in the latter way, without identifying the underlying economic mechanisms and legal tools in question, never really goes anywhere useful. i think this is a major disconnect you see when concepts of privilege become widely discussed enough to make appearances in major media outlets, for example. these are outlets that refuse (sometimes wilfully, it doesn't really make a difference) to understand privilege as an economic mechanism by which the classes, castes, etc in question are actually constituted. all they can ever do is pretend like the characteristic in question is an immutable and transhistorical one that is simply being unjustly punished or rewarded—eg, you simply ARE male, and the privilege follows from that pre-existing condition—rather than that maleness itself is defined and created by the granting of specific rights, permissions, and privileges. so the only thing liberals can ever grant in such discussions is that privilege exists, abstractly and nebulously. that this framing is milquetoast and usually not very actionable is imo intimately related to the fact that it begins by taking a legal and economic term and instead engaging with it almost exclusively as a reference to the feelings and intentions of individuals: there is no longer a specific privilege granted by (ultimately) the state, but rather a generalised condition of being privileged. and of course such a condition does come to exist, but we don't make much progress understanding (let alone dismantling) it if we present it as springing out of nowhere or out of a general sort of social sentiment, rather than naming and problematising the specific political tools used to create and maintain it.

[wooziorgans]

Noan do you not feel anything for nerd!jihoon?!?!?? Do you not fantasize about him being a silent shy nerd until he have you in his room, on his bed, naked, screwing you, raw, filling you up with his load and still not pulling out, just staying in, connected and you wondering where's the nerdy boy.

Thee nerd in question btw (this guy in short hai is my so fqing favorite I can literally do ANYTHING for him 😭😭😭😭 please please please please jihoona)

— shy nerd uji

oh lord. oh he’s such a hot loser i need him. god did i have thoughts abt this. also ur other ask is being combined w another ask for the ultimate sub uji story. yeah anyways.

shy nerd!jihoon who practically took you under his wing in your shared chemistry class freshman year. you were lab partners, and he seemed competent enough to help you out personally with the labs, though you asked him for his number after the first class because he was too shy.

jihoon, who only wears tight fitting clothes on lab days because his regular baggy shirts and sweatpants are a safety hazard. you can’t help but stare at his muscles before he puts on his lab coat. his face burns as he slips his goggles on over his glasses.

jihoon, who helps you out with all the calculations for the remainder of the semester, even after you get the hang of it. who panics when you spill sulphuric acid on yourself, even though it has a low molarity so it won’t burn you.

jihoon, who you end up becoming pretty good friends with, even though you only see him once a week in your lab section. he always answers your questions about chemistry, even if you have different professors.

he slowly opens up to you, and you find out in your last study session that he’s actually a music major. you beg him to show you some of his songs, and he agrees, red in the face. on the condition you do well on your chem final.

jihoon, who you managed to keep seeing and hanging out with, even if you no longer share a class together. three years later, at the start of your final year of university, you can mutually say that you’re each others best friends.

shy nerd!jihoon, who isn’t as shy as he used to be, but he gets red in the face whenever you tease him. he still has his walls up around you, certain ones that he doesn’t seem to have with the rest of your friend group.

you can’t deny your attraction to him. his glasses, which he always pushes up as he studies, contrast so starkly with his pale skin. his bulging muscles which radiate heat as autumn starts to roll in.

jihoon cut his hair at the start of the semester, and you thought you’d be more upset with the change, but you can’t argue with the fact that he looks hot as fuck with shorter hair. you’ve seen him grow into a young man over the last few years, and his haircut suits him.

jihoon, who also didn’t go home for the holidays, and so you both spend your week together, catching up on homework and studying. you also spend your break with a multi-day movie marathon in his apartment.

jihoon and his apartment, which you’ve practically been living in for the last few days. your overnight bag sits in the corner of his living room, dirty clothes folded nicely on top of it. your toothbrush sits next to his, and it has him thinking hard about your friendship.

he can’t deny the fact that he thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. he can’t deny how domestic your whole week is going to be, can’t deny how much his chest flutters when you insist on cuddling while you watch movies. he can’t deny the obvious pull towards you, one he can only hope is mutual.

jihoon, who lets you throw your leg over his as you cuddle, his face burning at the outward affection. your breath comes out in small puffs, fist tightening in his shirt as you slowly start to fall asleep with your head on his chest.

jihoon, who wraps his arm around you, hand resting on your thigh. you crane your neck up softly to look at him; his glasses are slipping down his face as he tries to pay attention to the movie. he looks beautiful like this, and you decide to try and play off touching him as a mindless, half asleep action.

your fingers release his shirt, which had pulled up, exposing the base of his stomach to the cool air of his room. you carefully, oh so slowly, trail your fingers down to the skin. you push your hand back up, nails scratching gently against his abs.

jihoon grips your thigh softly, lips parting as his other hand grabs your hand to stop you. his cock twitches softly in his sweats, and you can feel it against the inside of your thigh. “y/n,” he pants, as though he had just run a mile in record time. you flatten your hand against his stomach, pinky brushing against the band of his sweats.

“want you.” you murmur, closing your eyes as you just feel his skin. jihoon gives your thigh another squeeze before his hand falls to your ass. you shift up on his chest, leaning up to kiss his neck softly.

in one quick moment, jihoon flips you over, off of him and onto your back. you squeak softly, all the air leaving your lungs as he straddles your thighs. before you get the chance to say anything, jihoon’s lips are on yours as he starts to kiss you stupid.

you start to pant into his mouth, completely in awe at how good he is at kissing. you had assumed he was a little bit more of a loser with very little experience, but judging by the way he’s kissing you, he clearly knows what he’s doing.

jihoon pushes your shirt up, hand holding your side as his thumb brushes over your nipple. it’s hardly a graze, but it has your back arching off the bed as he pulls away. he smirks at you, hands leaving your body as he pulls his shirt off in one motion. you gasp at the sight of just how ripped he is. jihoon shakes his head as he pushes his glasses up, a sadistic puff of a laugh escaping his lips.

��what, baby? you know i work out.” he whispers, and the pet name he uses has you reeling, back arching back off the bed.

“you’re so fucking hot, oh my god.” you gasp, hands pulling at your shirt until you finally get the damn thing off. jihoon just chuckles at how desperate and cute you look right now. he doesn’t wait for you to settle back on w your shirt is off. instead, he gets straight to work, pulling your own sweatpants down. his fingers catch your underwear on the way down, and he decides to just get everything over with at once.

the cool air hits your burning core as jihoon spreads your thighs apart. he settles on his knees as he leans down, pressing soft kisses at the base of your stomach. he trails down further and further, licking at biting at you skin, covering you in light marks that slowly start to darken. finally, his chin brushes against the hood of your clit, and your hands snap to his hair, head falling back as your eyes close.

jihoon laughs again, almost cruel, as he places a kiss to your clit. his tongue darts out, pushing its way in between your folds to taste your arousal. he moans against you, and the vibrations only add to the stimulation. his fingers slowly start to find their way to your core.

he drags them over your entrance, not yet pushing them in as he goes back to focusing on your clit. you look down at him, opening your eyes to find him watching you intently. jihoon pushes two of his fingers into your entrance, and your tight walls suck him in almost instantly.

jihoon locates your spot almost instantly, milking it as he curls his fingers. his lips are suctioned against your clit, and you can’t take it anymore. with the way he’s looking at you, glasses slightly fogged from the heat between your legs and his breath against you, you cum hard around his fingers.

jihoon lets you ride out your orgasm, and once your chest is rising and falling rapidly, you can feel him smirk against you as he pulls his fingers out of you. “good. i wanted to make you cum at least once before i fucked you.” he shifts on his knees, pulling away from your core as his hand finds the knot of his sweats.

he pulls the bow free, slipping them down to his knees before he kicks them off. jihoon’s hard cock slaps his stomach and you lose your breath once again. his cock is big, veiny and so hard. small beads of precum leak from his tip, and he wraps his pretty hand around the head of his cock, coating it in his arousal as he strokes himself languidly.

“you still want this?” he asks as he leans over you. your hands find the side of his face as you nod. “good. been thinking about this for so long, baby. you have no idea.” he breathes out as he lines himself up, tip slipping through your folds.

he pushes in, and slides home in one motion. your walls spasm around him at the stretch. it burns, based on the sheer size of his cock, but you’re so wet it’s hardly a real issue. jihoon gives you a few moments to breathe as he peppers your face with chaste kisses, before he pulls back out, only to slam back in.

the pace he sets is brutal, hard and fast, and you know you won’t last long like this. you guess this is payback for the years of teasing and sexual comments made towards him, just to see him blush and get shy. jihoon pushes his tongue into your mouth, chasing your moans with his mouth.

your nails scratch at his back, crescent indents left behind over the muscles of his shoulders. he hisses at the sting and grips the flesh of your thigh harshly as he jackhammers into you.

it’s so dirty, messy; the slick sounds of jihoon moving inside of you, the repetitive slap of skin on skin, completely filthy as he fucks you like his life depends on it. the way he pushes his glasses back up his face makes your eyes roll back.

jihoon was always so soft and sweet, a naturally kind and gentle person, so to say that you’re losing your mind right now as he fucks you into oblivion would be an understatement. you can’t think, can’t even really make coherent noises as he fucks you. he shifts your hips up, tip of his cock kissing your spot, and it’s over for you.

you cum, the sheer force of your orgasm knocks the sound from your throat. you feel like you’re about to black out; a hot, white wave of pleasure so intense that your senses numb for a moment as you tighten impossibly around jihoon.

you’re so tight and warm and wet, it only takes a few more thrusts for jihoon to spill his load inside of you. he bites his lip as he cums, head thrown back as his own orgasm washes over him.

jihoon collapses on top of you, cock still sheathed in your warm walls. his hands find your hair and waist. his touch is so soft and gentle, a stark contrast to how he was moments ago, that it pulls you back down to earth. you have had the mind to tell him to pull out, but the feeling of still being full, albeit incredibly sensitive, is so nice that you don’t say anything.

“fuck.” you pant, a soft laugh falling from your lips. jihoon rolls you over onto your sides, hand cradling your head to his chest.

“you okay?” he asks quietly.

“yeah. so good. i’m so good right now, you have no idea.” you laugh again, pressing a soft kiss to his collarbone.

“i hope that wasn’t too much, baby.” you can feel him smile against your hair.

“it was perfect, hoonie. i just- shit, where’d the shy nerd go? what happened to you?” you ask breathlessly. jihoon laughs quietly, pulling your head back from his skin gently so he can kiss you.

this kiss is so soft and delicate, like he’s afraid of shattering the moment you’re having right now. “dead and gone, baby. no more of that, now that i know you want me just as bad.” he whispers against your lips.

“good. i like being close to you like this.” you smile softly, pecking him once more.

“let’s get you cleaned up. i went kind of rough on you.” jihoon smiles back, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw.

“oh, fuckin’ tell me about it.” you giggle, brushing the hair out of his face.

“karmic retribution, baby. you can’t tease me for three years and think that your actions won’t have consequences.” jihoon laughs as he pulls his softening cock out of you. he hisses softly as he watches his cum slip out of you.

“remind me to keep teasing you if it means you’ll fuck me like that again.” you clench, trying to keep jihoon’s load inside.

“i’d rather you just tell me next time.” he whispers lowly into your ear. you wonder briefly if this new development is for the better, with the way his tone has you throbbing again. jihoon slides off the bed, away from you and you whine at the loss of his warmth.

jihoon throws his head back in a hearty laugh as he leans back over you to pick you up and carry you to the bathroom.

shy nerd! jihoon, who is all but dead and gone as he runs you a warm bath to soothe your aching muscles. he kisses you sweetly as he sets you down on the counter, massages your thighs and scalp in the warm water.

[annerbhp]

If you would but indulge this fandom elder for a few moments, I'd like to point out a few things that I think can make all of our fannish experiences on this hellsite (affectionate) so much more joyful.

Try not to treat yourself or others as "content-providers."

This happens when you allow yourself to be influenced by real or imagined expectations and demands of others. "But I know people want..." "But people would expect me to..." "But they might not like it if I..." "It's been too long since I've written/posted anything..." "What if people get upset if I..." These are the joy killers. The only questions you should ask yourself when posting stuff to tumblr (or not) is "does this bring me joy right now?" and "would this cause harm?" That's it. You can also tag liberally so people can block stuff if they want. That's also a nice thoughtful thing to do. But try not to let the nebulous concept of "people"--your followers, your readers, the internet at large, or whatever--become a bogeyman in your own head. Most of us already have enough internal critics trying to trip us up at any given moment. Try not to invent more.

Treating others as "content-providers" happens if you send asks or comments to someone on this site demanding more content of a specific type, or insinuating that you are entitled to something from that person. You are communicating to that person that they only have value as a content-provider, and only when providing whatever it is you want. This is dehumanizing and ignores the thousands of reasons that person might choose to be here. Tumblr is not a subscription service. No one is paying for anything here. Most people here are just doing stuff that makes them joyful and we are lucky enough that sometimes they share it with us too!

2. Fandom is not a marriage.

The concept of "being in a fandom" is actually incredibly nebulous, as it should be! There is nothing you need to do or declare to be "in a fandom." There is no minimum threshold of love, or time, or interaction, or "production." It's just a feeling. A place. A space that brings joy. (And sometimes, heartbreak, but that's another topic all together.)

Fandom is also not a marriage. You can't cheat on a fandom. You do not have to have formal divorce proceedings and let go of one fandom before messing around with another one. There's no such thing as fandom infidelity. Neither is fandom a job. You don't have to give two weeks' notice. You don't have to post public intent on the town hall. You're not banned once you step out, never to return. You can "take a break" without any moral implications or risk of becoming the focus of a pop culture debate about whether or not you were justified to mess around with another fandom during that time. You can leave a fandom and never go back, all without having to consciously decide to do so. You can fall out of love with a fandom and then fall back in love with it later. It's not a marriage/job! There are no rules!

3. Take ownership and curate your own experience.

If there is a thing, or a blog, or a person who once brought you joy, but on balance no longer does, or makes you more disappointed or annoyed or upset than not, you do not have to keep interacting with them/it. Following someone on tumblr is also not a marriage. You can follow/unfollow as you like, no harm, no foul. It's just curating your personal joy, and I hope we will always wish each other the best with that. If you are scared of "missing out on something," then you will either need to block tags enough to make it enjoyable, or decide unfollowing is worth the risk if it makes you too unhappy to keep following!

The ultimate thing is, it's up to you to curate your fannish experience. It is not up to the person you are following to change to fit your expectations or hopes. (See point #1.) You can feel ways about this, of course! But those are your feelings, which are yours to handle. Do not put them on the other person. Do not send them asks demanding things or lashing out. It won't make you feel better and it definitely won't get you what you are looking for, unless your actual aim is to kill the joy of another person so you are not upset alone. In that case I'm not sure what to tell you other than you might want to spend some time meditating on that one and think about if that's really the kind of person you want to be. Or if this kind of space is actually good for you.

That's it for now. Thank you for indulging me. Don't be a dick on the internet, friends. Take no shit and do no harm. Take care of yourselves! 💕

[sadesluvr]

The Bride — PART TWO.

PART ONE

Thad, yes, Thad (short for Thaddeus) went by the common name of Jude. He was one of those men with Roman numerals at the end of his name; the same kind who had summer houses and Fortune 500 companies, which was why your ‘marriage’ had made sense in the first place. Whilst you weren’t a millionaire, you came from a stable home with decent money, making you the perfect partner for someone like Jude. You’d met at college, and as soon as you’d graduated, he’d taken you home to his parents and popped the question.  

And being a foolish, naive little twenty-one-year-old...you said yes.  

Contrary to how these ordeals typically went, Jude wasn’t an old man – at least not biologically, his mentality was debatable - but two years older than you. As they often did, your relationship started off as a fairytale; with financial stability and relative freedom, at least until you found out that his fathers’ company – the place he’d one day inherit – had been moving donations from the children’s and elderly charities they sponsored and pocketed it for their own.  

This revelation came at a time when you’d also found that Jude had been screwing one of his secretaries...so naturally, you decided to blackmail him. 

Which turned into extortion.  

It wasn’t really your fault; it was an eye for an eye. So long as he added your name to his will – which he’d neglected to tell you he hadn’t done – no one would hear about the funds.  

He then retaliated with hiding assets, routinely checking wads of cash with a UV light for your fingerprints so you could be left without freedom. 

You responded with a car crash and insurance fraud in his name. 

It was this kind of push-pull, give-take, fucked up excuse of a relationship that continued for seven years, ultimately bringing you to Havana today. Jude’s 30th birthday, one set to be shared with both of your families - and his mistress of the week.  

Even throughout all your chaos and drama, you had never expected it to end in a murder. Luckily for you, you’d evolved to become someone who thought two steps ahead. Just how ‘coincidental’ had it been for you to receive an unexpected drink from a mysterious gentleman, only two weeks after you’d overheard a conversation between Jude and his friends? 

“She’s fucking crazy, man. Straight psycho. I don’t know how she got this way, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll put up with it.” 

“Be fucking serious, man. You’ll never leave her. She might leave you, but you won’t. For one, you like the attention, and for two there’s too much wrapped in it. Your parents like her, and imagine all that stress going through in changing those estate papers? The only way you get out of this looking good without her tearing you to shreds is if she dies, and you become the sad, grieving widow.” 

“…So you see my predicament?” 

Tangerine was frowning, his moustache comically pointing downwards as his eyes remained blank, trying to take in everything you’d said, whilst Lemon, equally shocked, was also somewhat impressed; a hand covering his face as he tapped his lips with his index finger. It was silent until Lemon spoke, stretching as he did. 

“So, you’ve single-handedly committed fraud, blackmail, theft and staged a car crash —“ 

“—Whilst shaggin’ a Cuban bellboy three times a boy three times a year.” 

“— Whilst shaggin’ a Cuban bellboy three times a year, but never went and offed this bastard yourself? What’s taking you so long?” 

“I don’t know how to use a gun.” You said earnestly, earning a nod of approval from the two men. It wasn’t a lie; just easier to say than the much larger, uncomfortable fact that you’d never really seen a way out of it all.  

The two men looked between each-other before glancing back down at the $20K. The money was there, and you’d presented a convincing enough argument – they just had to make sure there were no underlying risks. 

“And this husband of yours, he hasn’t got any hitmen or gangs around him has he?” Tangerine said, and you chuckled before vehemently shaking your head. “How do we know there ain’t a bounty on us if we don’t get his job done?” 

“I promise you, he’s just an ordinary white collar worker, nothing close to a Steve Jobs. You’d only have to worry about an enquiry, but I know a way of making this all spotless…Do we have a deal?” 

The Twins glanced at each-other again, with Tangerine raising a finger before dragging his brother around the corner, hands placed on his hips in frustration. Lemon looked behind him cautiously, his deep brown eyes painted with an inexplicable expression. 

“Right, now what do you make of all this, then?” 

“I think she’s a Mavis.” 

“Oh, fucking hell, Lemon —“ 

“No, no, no, hear me out on this one,” his brother interjected, raising a hand to silence him.

“Mavis is a Diesel, but she’s one of the good ones. Look, she starts off arrogant, feisty, a little naïve…but throughout time she matures and respects the other engines,” he said before nodding in your direction. “She got hitched at twenty-one, mate – maybe once we kill this fucker she can mature too. And hopefully go to therapy…” 

Tangerine shook his head, not because of the annoying tangent Lemon had taken, but the fact that it actually made sense. Running his tongue over his lips, he exhaled before taking out his phone and texting their handler, simply stating that ‘plans had changed’. 

“Right,” he said, clapping his hands together. “Let’s go bring her the good news.” 

When they returned you had opened the balcony doors, sat on the patio whilst indulging in another cigarette, staring out onto the streets of Havana. Couples walked hand in hand down the roads, whilst some men sat on the corners, laughing to themselves in the sunset and the dimming street lights, unbeknownst to the Shakespearean situation you’d found yourself in.  

Whether it was the buzz from the nicotine filled stick, or simply the fact that you’d become nothing but a black hole over the years, you were eerily calm; indulgent scenarios of Jude’s death playing in your mind like a movie.  

The two men – Lemon and Tangerine as you’d figured out – seemed decent enough, as decent as assassins could go, but you had no doubt that should your plan fall apart you’d be able to wriggle your way out of it. Because somehow, you always did. 

“Alright, love. Listen up,” Tangerine announced clapping and rubbing his hands together as he drew a seat opposite you, with Lemon leaning up against the balcony, arms folded over his chest. “We’ll do it. But we’ve got a few rules for ‘ya–“ 

“- We’re the professionals,”  Lemon interjected. “You can give us your ideas, but if we don’t like it, we ain’t doin’ it. Capeesh?” 

You nodded. 

“That’s right. If you fuck us over, or if we don’t get our money, your head is goin’ to be first on the chopping block, d’ya hear me? No second chances.” 

“Got it.” 

“And finally,” Lemon said ominously, walking over to you in his attempt to be intimidating. He was deadly, of course, but he didn’t have an inherent instability like Tangerine did. “You must never speak about this. If this shit blows up in our face, we don’t wanna see you crying on the news about ‘secret assassins’ n’ all that bullshit. We appreciate your discretion, yeah?” 

“I understand,” you hummed before rolling your eyes. “Why are you so convinced I’m going to turn on you? I hate my husband, and you’re practically giving me a way out.” 

“Well, I don’t know darling, maybe it’s got somethin’ to do with the fact that ‘yer first instinct was to blackmail ya husband when you found out he was cheating,” The moustached man said, raising his hands matter of factly. “Not knockin’ you darl’, it’s a good move, but you’ve got a pattern.” 

“You’re a Mavis.” 

“A who?” 

“Mavis from Thomas the Tank Engine. She’s a Diesel train, but she’s not like the others. You see, when she arrives in Sodor –“ 

“Can we hold the Thomas talk for one second, Lemon?” Tangerine scoffed. “We’re talkin’ business here.” 

“No, no, I wanna hear this,” you said with a smirk, cocking a eyebrow as you leaned in and stumped out your cigarette. “Besides, it’s getting late. Can’t we figure this out in the morning?” 

The man opened his mouth to protest, but Lemon nodded in agreement. 

“Ignore him, love. He gets cranky when he hasn’t had a nap,” he said, and you covered your mouth to giggle, much to the chagrin of the man next to you. Lemon looked down at his watch. “It’s only 9PM. We’ve pulled all-nighters before; I don’t see why we can’t do it again...” 

The two of you made googly eyes at Tangerine, as if you were children asking their parents to stay up for an extra hour. He looked between you both, ultimately letting out a frustrated sigh before popping his collar. 

“Alright,” he huffed. “I’m goin’ to get a fuckin’ drink because I don’t have the patience to deal with you two babies. When I get back, we’re dealin’ with this arsehole, got it?” He finished with a sickly faux smile. 

“Is he always like this?” you murmured to Lemon. 

“He’s a Gordon, he has no choice.” 

“Fuck me...” the man grunted, shaking his head as he made his way towards the door, pretending to ignore each of your requests for a drink and some snacks, with you specifying that yours weren’t poisoned.

He breathed a sigh of relief once he reached the hallway, striding towards the stairs to the lobby and in the direction of the bar, fiddling with his clothes upon reaching the counter. It wasn’t often that he made alliances, but he couldn’t deny that you were promising – already possessing the art of manipulation and recklessness needed to be an assassin.  

Raising a finger, he ordered a drink with the bartender, making a mental note to stop by the lobby vending machine for Lemon’s items, before glancing around at the clientele.  

Some of them seemed to be well off, like you, whilst others seemed middle to working class, and the longer he looked around the more it became apparent to him that he was looking for someone – the nameless bellboy you’d hooked up with – only to find Jude himself, (he recognised him from the photos you’d shown them) sat across the bar with his mistress, laughing obnoxiously loudly. She wore a skimpy red dress, and if he hadn’t had known better, he would’ve considered her a sugar baby, prostitute, or somewhere in between. 

Squinting, he found himself fidgeting again as he watched the sordid scene in front of him, with the bastard probably thinking that his wife was hunched over, puking her guts out into a toilet before she inevitably keeled over and died. He normally didn’t care about interpersonal relationships – it wasn’t part of his job – but he knew enough about the man to know that he wasn’t worth saving...even if you yourself weren’t morally infallible.  

Perhaps that was the reason he was resisting the urge to beat the life out of him. Either that, or the fact that he wanted you. 

Grumbling to himself, he downed a glass of whiskey before lighting a cigarette, taking a long drag as held the nicotine in his lungs and puffing it out like a dragon. 

All was fine until the bastard himself decided to make a comment. 

“Hey -- You can’t smoke here, dude,” Jude said in his snotty American accent. “Have some respect for the lady.” 

Tangerine shrugged, plastering a fake smile onto his face.  

“My apologies, I didn’t realise you worked here, mate.” 

Jude winced, his mistress shifting uncomfortably in his arms.  

“I don’t, but I’m sure you can --” 

“Well, that settles it then, doesn’t it?” the man interjected, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.  “Bloody smart-arse, you are.” 

The woman clambered off him, watching as Jude became visibly more agitated, hands fidgety and eyes bulging. 

“They’re not good for you, anyway,” Jude continued, clearing his throat. “My ex-wife could barely pry herself from those things. No wonder she died.” 

Tangerine didn’t visibly react but found himself wholly amused at the fact that he was so confident to have thought you were dead already. Rigor mortis hadn’t even kicked in yet. 

“Yeah, well, if I had a partner that was anything like you, I’d smoke twelve packs a day fucking hoping that my lungs would dry up like ‘yer nan’s fanny,” he sniffed. “Fucking headache, trying to deal with you.” 

Jude winced.  

“I wouldn’t go there,” he said, his voice stern, but there was something in his stature that was rather unconvincing. “You don’t know what I’m capable of.” 

“Oh, I’m real scared. Fucking quaking,” Tangerine laughed. His hands itched to knock the life out of him, but knew that watching you slaughter him would be far more stimulating. “I pity you. You don’t even know what the fucks coming.” 

Slamming a note and a few coins on the table, he walked off without a second thought. It may have been one of the few times he walked away from a battle, but he was certainly not going to lose the war. 

PART THREE

Taglist: @mylatest-hyperfixation @thewizardcat @j23r23 (For commenting!🤍✨)

[pazziville]

Can I Be Him — A Pazzi Fic

Wherein Paige Bueckers, UConn’s prolific point guard, has been in love with Azzi Fudd, her longtime best friend and current teammate for the longest time. The persistence in scouting the girl to the huskies was not for nothing. But of course, Paige kept this fact to herself. Yet, even after all these years, behind the basketball star’s confident and cocky-like attitude, lies insecurities for seemingly not being enough for Azzi.  Azzi constantly reminding Paige of the reality that she may never have feelings for the girl the same way the girl has for her when she repeatedly talks to Paige about her boy problems, deflates the latter’s self-esteem, while Azzi remains unaware. With the next season around the corner and Paige’s newfound courage to move on from Azzi, what would become of their relationship?

CHAPTER 1.

word count: 1,523

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Paige knows this feeling all too well by now. The feeling of her heart being squeezed a million times over as she attends practice to try and get her mind off a certain girl but then having to witness the girl talk to and play with the guy she’s head over heels for on the other half of the court. It’s not even an official team workout day and yet Azzi went to workout with her and decided to invite her crush. Isn’t this just great. Paige thought. “Still at it, Paigey?” Nika enters the gym with a coffee and juice on hand, per Paige’s request when she texted the girl to come save her from suffering alone at the eye sore she was having to face. Azzi and her company, Parker, notices Nika’s arrival and give her a welcoming wave before resuming what they were previously doing. Nika gives them a wave back and proceeds to join Paige in her practice run. Nika notices Paige was completely locked in, not even aware of the fact she had already arrived, causing her to block Paige’s mid-range shot attempt to get her attention. “Sorry.” Paige couldn’t even bring herself to be annoyed at what Nika did. She realized she spaced out in her thoughts and brought her arms down from shooting motion weakly. “King of the Court to get your mind off her?” Nika proposes to which Paige agrees, not even protesting. She’s quite literally willing to try anything to get her mind off of Azzi at this point.

“Who’s winning?” Parker asks Azzi, who was currently hyper focused on the King of the Court game Paige and Nika was having. Azzi didn’t answer, eyes still intensely on the game, making Parker repeat himself, “Azzi, who do you think is winning?”

The girl snaps out from her trance, “Sorry, I got a little too focused there.” Azzi takes a sip of water before she gives her answer, “Nika, probably.” “You think so?” Parker gives her a questionable look as Nika was currently down by 8.

Azzi plays with her arm, a mannerism she developed throughout the years when talking about things that she cared about and that affected her, “Paige has a soft spot for Nika. From that alone, she’s already won.”

“Oh.” Parker could only utter. Silence overruled the two of them as they sat on the bleachers and Azzi’s mind realized the bulk of what she just said. “I meant… Since Paige has a soft spot for Nika, she has the chance to use that to her advantage and catch Paige off guard and win it.” Azzi squeezed her arm, not entirely sure she was being truthful to herself.

The game went on longer than expected, Azzi’s prediction being somewhat right. Nika catching up to Paige’s score because the girl undoubtedly had a soft spot for her close friend and teammate. Not until Paige’s last possession. Nika watches as the girl does her lazy crossovers, anticipating that the girl was going to do a step back three, a move Paige loved doing during pickup games. But much to Nika’s surprise, Paige does the anticipated explosive crossover before ultimately driving to the basket. A move that caused Nika to fall hard from the unexpected contact.

Azzi, seeing this, stands up as she grows concerned for her teammate who was currently on the ground, clearly in pain. She was about to approach Nika until Paige steps in her peripheral vision, lowering herself to Nika’s level and checking up on the girl, which causes her to freeze. Suddenly, Azzi feels a pang in her chest. 

“Is Nika alright?” Parker asks, but as usual, gets ignored by Azzi, who was too occupied in watching Paige and Nika on the court. Paige went from asking Nika if she was alright, to touching the girl's knee, which got scratched from the impact to the floor after Paige charged at her. 

Azzi was smart. Hell, her professors, parents, friends, and classmates would never fail to mention this fact to her, because she truly was, academically and generally. But what she said after seeing how Paige cared for Nika right after her fall was a long shot of being smart. 

“Care enough to not be reckless and stupid before the season, Paige?” Paige stops in her tracks. Establishing eye contact with Azzi who was within a distance from her, caught off guard with what the girl told her.

The eye contact with Paige was enough for Azzi’s mind to backtrack, knowing what came out of her mouth went below the belt. “I-I’m sorry.” “No, it’s alright. You’re right. I’m sorry Nika, I should’ve been more careful.” Paige guiltily admits her fault, making Azzi more guilty in the process.

“Dumbass, shit happens, it’s alright. Now carry my ass to the clinic, this knee is kinda killing me right now.” Paige breaks her eye contact with Azzi to offer her shoulders for Nika as support to get her up.

Seeing the two girls’ backs as they walked out of the door together with Nika’s arm on Paige’s shoulder and Paige’s hand around Nika’s waist shouldn’t have affected Azzi the way it did. But, it did. The sheer physical contact Paige and Azzi shared bothered her. Yet, the girl convinced herself it was out of concern for Nika. It was a week before the new season. The team could not afford an injured player. Most especially not a player as valuable to the team as Nika. She offered elite defense the team needed and above average offense the team could use when the squad’s scorers such as Paige and herself were benched.

It’s definitely because of those reasons. Nothing more. Azzi talked herself out of what she was feeling. A feeling so seemingly foreign to her. Or so she thought.

“Not gonna talk about what happened back there?” Nika asks Paige, who has been sitting on the clinic chair with her eyes completely glued to the white walls and not uttering a single word for the last 10 minutes, clearly still affected by Azzi’s words.

The question was enough for Paige to look Nika in the eyes instead of the walls, “There’s nothing to talk about. She was right.” Nika plops down from her seat, making the nurse and Paige flinch at her sudden movement, “Girl, she called you reckless and stupid all in one sentence. Are you really just gonna let that slide without communicating the fact you were hurt by that?” Paige sighs, knowing Nika has a point, but is too much of a coward to confront Azzi. Not when her romantic feelings for the girl were involved.

Silence engulfs the room. Nika, disappointed, shakes her alongside a deep sigh and sits back on the chair she previously sat on which delighted the nurse, “Do that again and I’m going to tie you up to this clinic chair.”

Nika nervously laughs, “Sorry, Nicole.” The nurse quickly gives her a daggered stare for the first name basis.

Nika clears her throat and straightens her posture, “I meant, Nurse Nicole.”

Paige laughed at the altercation and had seemed to forget what went down minutes ago. But of course the universe had different plans for the girl. As she was enjoying the small talk the nurse was having with her and Nika, the clinic door suddenly opened, revealing a concerned looking Azzi.

The girl spared Paige a look but nothing more before fully entering the room, her attention fully fixated on Nika and her current condition, even talking to the nurse for her evaluations.

Paige silently observed Azzi from her seat, not being able to stop her chest from hurting. Azzi had more care for Nika than she’ll ever have for me. She managed to convince herself. As the conversation went on, Paige felt out of place, feeling as if she no longer needed to stay.

She got up from her seat, prepared to leave, “Paige, where are you going?” Nika asks, stopping her from her tracks. There was a part of her that wished that question came from Azzi. But how dare she wish that, Azzi would never care enough to ask. She thought.

“I’m gonna get back to practice… If that’s alright with you guys.” Azzi had her back facing Paige, yet the girl could not get to not include her in the conversation of excusing herself out the room.

“No problem, sweetheart. We’re almost done here anyway. Your girls will follow suit soon enough.” Nurse Nicole sweetly assured Paige, earning a soft smile from the girl.

Paige slowly makes her way to the door. She looks back, only to be met once again with the view of Azzi’s back. Nika sees this and realizes, deciding to smile at the girl to cheer her up a bit. It works as Paige leaves the room with a smile. Not a genuine one but it was better than not smiling at all.

Paige can’t help but chuckle at herself as she grabbed a ball from the rack to start working on her game. This may just be the extent of her and Azzi’s relationship.

a/n: suggestions and feedback are greatly appreciated. this is my first time uploading a piece of work to tumblr, so please bare with me. would you guys want me to post this story on wattpad and ao3 as well? thought of doing so for easy accessibility purposes since i don't think tumblr has bookmarks or something alike. thank you very much for reading! much love. <3

[indieyuugure]

Hey hey,

how exactly did Karai become mutated into a turtle in your version of tmnt?

Well, I haven’t really figured it all out 100% yet, but I definitely have gotten the main ideas down.

So I was kinda thinking she ends up getting mutated a little later on in the story, so maybe like a little after the Turtles get back from their space adventure or something like that.

She ends up getting mutated as like, collateral damage or something adjacent, but I definitely wanted it to be a sort of a breaking point between her and Shredder’s relationship. I’ve planned that it gets kicked off as the Shredder finds out about Karai’s relationship with Leo and so he uses her as a hostage against Splinter and the Turtles.

I think that too will help flesh out just how toxic The Shredder is. Like he has always seen Karai as a tool, and nothing more. Whereas Karai sees him as a somewhat obnoxious father, but still a father.

I’m not exactly sure where the mutagen would come in (I’m sure I’ll figure something out) but I decided that to help make sure that she is still 100% not related to the turtles, the turtle's DNA she gets merged with is actually her pet’s.

I thought it’d be kinda cute if during the time where Karai and Leo aren’t together, she gets a little pet turtle to remind her of him (since she still loves him). Most likely I figure she gets pulled out of her room while she’s playing with her little turtle and so even though Leo probably tries to save her, he doesn’t touch her so it’s only her little turtle’s DNA not Leo’s.

I think for the aftermath, there’s no way they’re all getting out of a situation like that unscathed—Karai being no exception—which also leaves sometime afterwards for them to be healing while she’s attempting to mentally heal from the fact that her father just used her as a hostage, tried to kill her and now she’s a mutant turtle.

While the turtles are pretty cool with the way they look, Karai would be pretty uncomfortable with such a drastic change like that, so I definitely wanna capitalize on that angst and growth between Leo and Karai as a couple, Leo helping her to accept who she is now.

I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I want her to change back, and I ultimately decided no. Donnie basically explains that he is a robotics guy, not a geneticist and so he’s worried that tampering with something so complex like that would probably only cause more harm.

Okay wow, that was a lot longer of a info dump then I kinda thought it’d be 😅 have a picture of her with tekko-kagi gloves:

Good question! :]

[randomfoggytiger]

CHRIS CARTER'S MISCOMMUNICATION: "Platonic", "Cerebral and Sexy", and the Romantic Dynamic of The X-Files

(Credit to: Melissa Walker)

**Disclaimer**: This writeup won't focus on character flaws, only on delving a little bit deeper to understand a perspective.

In this post, I explore Chris Carter's "cerebral" use of the word "platonic", and parcel out his MSR opinions during the first six seasons of The X-Files.

PART I: WILL-THEY-WON'T-THEY OR PLATONIC?

In August 1993, Chris Carter conducted his first promotional interview of The X-Files. Amongst other inspirations for the show, he drew namely from The Avengers's John Steed and Emma Peel as the cornerstones of the "Fox and Dana" partnership. “David and Gillian are very bright,” Carter said. “They truly are the characters. Their relationship is cerebral and subtly sexy. Fox and Dana remind me of John Steed and Emma Peel in ‘The Avengers.’”

To a generation who grew up watching one of the (then) most widely known will-they-won't-they in television, that comparison signaled allure, attraction, and simmering sexual tension. As @observeroftheuniverse's post here highlights, The Avengers often blatantly played with the romantic pull between Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel. This article particularly articulates how freely the writers and actors discussed the indisputable fact of "something" going on between them: Peel’s verbal interactions with Steed range from witty banter to thinly disguised innuendo. Regarding the constant question of whether they had a sexual relationship at any time, Patrick Macnee [Steed's actor] thought the characters went to bed on a very regular basis (just not in view of the camera). However, Rigg [Peel's actress] thought they were most likely engaging in an enjoyable extended flirtation that ultimately went nowhere. Writer/producer Brian Clemens said he wrote them with the idea that they had an affair before Emma’s first appearance in the series,[6] and they certainly appear to already know each other very well when Emma is first introduced. And my own post here draws descriptions and quotes straight from each characters' Wikipedia page (and notes the similarities between Scully and Peel.)

However, after years of mixed responses, one clever reporter was able to get a clearer answer out of Carter in 1997:

RS: I’ve always wondered if you watched a show called “The Avengers.”

CC: Sure. Loved it. Mulder and Scully come from those characters, Emma Peel and what’s-his-name — Patrick MacNee. He was older than she was, so it was a sort of May-September, whatever you call it, relationship. It lacked sexual tension because of that quality. But I loved that sort of platonic thing.

And now you must be wondering: how? How did he not notice Steed and Peel's dynamic while remaining a big fan of the show, especially when he described their dynamic as "cerebral and sexy"?

Chris Carter, I posit, uses "platonic" when he means to say "sexual tension without decisive follow-through."

A bold claim. I'll prove it, too.

PART II: PLATONIC DOESN'T MEAN WHAT WE THINK IT MEANS

For the longest time, I assumed this double speak of Carter's was a form of outright lying. Don't get me wrong, he has and will lie when ego becomes involved, or when he wants to bait the "mystery" longer but can't think up a cleverer sleight of hand in the moment. But the truth, from the 1990s to the 2020s, is much simpler: he is telling the truth when he refers to Mulder and Scully as platonic.

Because "platonic", to Chris Carter, means "intellectually driven, sexually interested, non-sexually equal" all rolled into one. And, since he can't find a word that means "sexual without involving sex", he settles for one that strays from making a definitive either way.

In his interviews from 1993 to 1997 (which I explore in Part IV, see below~), he insisted that Mulder and Scully were friends, yet also stipulated they wouldn't end up together "on-screen"; and when comparing them to other sexually-charged partnerships, he repeatedly underscored his preferences for relationships that weren't "overtly sexual."

The nail in the coffin was a 1995 interview for Season 3--

AD: When you first explained Scully and Mulder to FOX, was it a point of sale that this was going to be purely working relationship, no love interest.

CC: I wanted it to be that way from the get-go, although I did want there to be sort of an underlying tension between the two of them because my feeling is when you put two smart people, a man and a woman, in a room, I don’t care whether or not they’re passionate about their life and their work, you’re going to get sexual tension out of that naturally.

AD: Yeah, the sort of Harry-met-Sally-with-brains-scenario.

--and its follow-up in January 1996--

Interviewer: How important is the sexual tension between the characters?

CC: I never wanted them to jump in the sack together because it was uninteresting to me. To me, the most sexual relationships are often the ones that are never realized, consummated or even spoken about. So I wanted this to be two smart people who work together, who happen to get along very well. Through their shared passion in their work, there is a natural chemical sexual tension that comes out of that, that doesn’t ever have to be spoken about, but it works.

Well then, why the double-speak and general lack of clarity?

Chris Carter often claimed he quite literally trusted no one, a self-protective measure that sprung from two alcoholic parents. One was sometimes-abusive, the other "ditzy" and detrimentally loose-lipped; and together, they always held rank, never backing down or apologizing for their wrongs. Humor and obfuscation, then, became his primary tool-- one minute he'd proclaim, “We can’t prove that it [abductions or paranormal activity] happened, but we can’t prove it didn’t”, and the next he'd seriously aver, "I’m a natural skeptic...."

The key to the truth lies in the repeatability of his claims: his oft-voiced skepticism in the paranormal far outweighed his infrequent, one-off jokes.

PART III: WHAT CC MEANS WHEN HE SAYS "PLATONIC"

The most telling piece of information-- the dirt on top of the coffin, if you will-- was a surprisingly open interview promoting Millennium.

Chris Carter's sincerest answer to the question of the "platonic" dichotomy was also his most vulnerable; and, upon realizing this blunder, he swiftly abandoned reflection and escaped through the realms of exaggeration-- a sign that his clarity was mixed with a little too much vulnerability.

February 20, 1997:

Interviewer: In both shows, I noticed, the male-female relationship is central and idealized. In “The X-Files,” it’s platonic. In “Millennium,” there’s a sort of idealized marriage between Frank Black and his wife.

CC: My feeling is that the most powerful relationships you have in life are … not sexual. You haven’t seen Lance Henriksen and Megan Gallagher in a sexual situation on Millennium. Between them, love is understood. Love is gesture and feeling and trust, and all those things, and it’s not necessarily a physical thing.

Interviewer: And the relationship between Scully and Mulder?

CC: It’s also like my kind of idealized romantic relationship. It’s two smart people in a room, arguing something when each one has a valid point of view. It’s like good dinner-party conversation. It’s what makes me feel alive — and good about myself. And I think there’s too little of it in most of our lives and particularly in romantic situations.

Here, the interviewer turned his questions from philosophy to possibility, leading Carter to quickly disengage and strike up hyperbole:

Interviewer: You were talking a second ago about gesture, and how Gallagher and Henriksen don’t really hug and kiss. What would happen if Scully and Mulder were to hug and kiss?

CC: They have hugged. They’ve never kissed. They could kiss if it was the right time for it. They could never give big French kisses. People say, “Will Mulder and Scully ever go to bed?” And I say, “You really don’t want them to.” Because the minute they do, then, basically, when they’re in that motel on their assignment, you know, investigating the appearance of extraterrestrial life somewhere, and they decide they’re finally going to get it on, they’re going to lie there sort of googly eyed in the morning, and those aliens are just going to be running amok. They will become more interested in themselves than in the things that they need to be doing.

He wasn't entirely wrong, either: their partnership and relationship would require-- in 1997, at least-- a lot of communication to get anywhere close to romantically stable. Fight the Future's "But you saved me" hadn't been uttered canonically; and neither character had the downtime of Season 6 yet to sort through and shift their priorities. As easy as it would be to slough off his exaggeration as another example of how little he understood the characters, Chris Carter's statement-- in truth-- pointed to how well he knew their dynamic.

Still, there remained a grain of truth to Chris's drama. He viewed (views) Mulder and Scully as two characters whose sexual attraction served to aid their quest, not detract from it; and feared that anything overtly sexual or "changed" between them would inevitably distract them from saving the world.

A challenging dynamic to understand until I realized it was one he shared it with his wife, Dori.

February 13, 1996:

But the demands of his work wear on his private life. “This is the first time Chris has seen me vertical in a few weeks,” said his wife, Dori, an elegant former screenwriter who flew up from Los Angeles to squeeze in a little private time with her husband.

August 2, 1998:

I work until at least 9.30 and I always work weekends. My wife’s staying in Santa Barbara is nothing to do with any kind of marital break-up. We’ve been together 16 years. It’s more that she’d rather be there and not see me than here and not see me. We speak all the time and its actually very romantic: I’d suggest it to anybody as a way of creating connection and desire.

She would like it if I were home more often, but she knows that I tend to feel a little obsessive and understands that I would probably be miserable if I had to live my life any differently right now. I’m not a workaholic, but when something hits and it’s good, you have to obey its demands.

For Chris Carter, obsessive focus-- as confirmed and reiterated by everyone in his life during The X-Files's run-- was lived without distraction.

During another 1997 interview, he doubled down (humorously, then solemnly) on the pathos of Mulder and Scully's situation.

1997:

Question from Dublin, OH (Sunil Karve): Hi Chris. On that terrible day when the series comes to an end, are you planning on having Mulder and Scully finally get to the “truth” (and more importantly, be able to prove it?)

Carter: They’ll be too busy jumping each others’ bones.

Question from Los Angeles, CA (meredith): Recently you likened M & S’s relationship to the one in the movie “Remains of the Day”. For those of us who didn’t see that movie, what did you mean? Thanks.

Carter: I just meant, I thought it was more powerful that those two characters didn’t get together....

Question from North Syracuse, NY (Ellis): Will a romantic relationship develop between Mulder and Scully?

Carter: No romance.

PEOPLE: Ah the QUESTION…Why not?

Carter: More alien stuff is coming soon.

And yet, he took care to hint (blatantly at times) that Mulder and Scully would end up together after the nebulous, victorious conclusion. Not only as a possibility-- an inevitability.

PART IV: DESCRIBING MSR THROUGH CARTER'S EYES

Carter's descriptions of Mulder and Scully's partnership through the years didn't change... in substance, at least. His answers shifted depending on his devilish mood; but the underpinnings remained the same, all pointing to a similar, looming conclusion.

To illustrate this point, I've included as many statements as possible, barring repetition, dating from 1993 to 1997.

WRITING AND CASTING THE PILOT

"The Truth About Season One", post The Truth:

"It was very easy to cut Ethan out because he just slowed down the scenes where you would see Mulder and Scully together, which is where all the heat really was."

September 23, 1994:

I loved both David and Gillian from the start. And, yes, I chose them from hundreds of other actors who auditioned. The chemistry between them is just pure luck.

February 20, 1997:

[On casting Gillian Anderson] "You knew the chemistry was there with Dave and Gillian. That’s something you pray for, because you can’t manufacture it."

June 14, 1998:

“At the original auditions, I saw dozens of people but the moment David and Gillian walked in the room, I knew I’d found my Mulder and Scully. It was as if the skins I’d created fit these two people like gloves.”

SEASON 1

August 18, 1993:

“David and Gillian are very bright,” Carter said. “They truly are the characters. Their relationship is cerebral and subtly sexy. Fox and Dana remind me of John Steed and Emma Peel in ‘The Avengers.’”

November 30, 1993:

The relationship between Mulder and Scully is particularly promising. So far, it’s a low-voltage attraction. If it gets stronger, it won’t be because that’s the standard TV formula.

“It’s a relationship I’m not seeing on television,” says Carter. “It’s based on mutual respect, not something overtly sexual.”

SEASON 2

September 23, 1994:

LANGER: Chris, You brought back Tooms. Are there any plans to bring back the Eves or that guy who starts fires?

CARTER: Again, anything can happen. Except that Mulder and Scully sex scene.

MOONFERRET: Chris, We all know that the Mulder / Scully thing isn’t going to happen. I’m curious though– why exactly are you so opposed to this? You and the rest of the crew are great storytellers- I’m sure you could pull it off exceptionally. Why so opposed? (Do you get the feeling I’m one of the few that would love for it to happen? Call me vicarious…)

CARTER: Oh, Moonferret. If I could only make your dreams come true.

October 28, 1994:

“I had decided sometime after learning that she was pregnant (last winter) to shoot around Gillian’s pregnancy,” Carter said....

Carter considered making Scully a single mother, but he resisted domesticating the show. “I have chosen not to make the show about the characters’ lives,” he said. “The show works best as two FBI agents investigating paranormal or unexplained phenomena, and that’s what drives the show. If the stories don’t drive the show, then we’re working backward.”

December 1994:

Another source of praise for the show has been the unique relationship shared by the two main characters. Though there is chemistry between Anderson and Duchovny, the writers and actors take pains to maintain a tender but nonsexual relationship.

...As far as the sexual tension between the two goes, everyone involved in the series seems to agree that a full-blown romance is out of the question.

December 1994:

How close will Scully and Mulder get to the final truth in the current season of X-Files? Carter’s answer is as nebulous as any of last season’s answers. ‘I don’t think there is a final truth,” he says with a laugh. “There are problem final truths. We’ll just keep pushing."

SEASON 3

1995:

AD: When you first explained Scully and Mulder to FOX, was it a point of sale that this was going to be purely working relationship, no love interest.

CC: I wanted it to be that way from the get-go, although I did want there to be sort of an underlying tension between the two of them because my feeling is when you put two smart people, a man and a woman, in a room, I don’t care whether or not they’re passionate about their life and their work, you’re going to get sexual tension out of that naturally.

AD: Yeah, the sort of Harry-met-Sally-with-brains-scenario.

1995:

Q. Did you always have in mind a two-person cast, male and female?

A. The Mulder-Scully idea was there from the start. And I wanted to flip the gender types, so that Mulder, the male, would be the believer, the intuitive one, and Scully the skeptic, which is the more traditional male role. It was also important that Scully be Mulder’s equal in rank, intelligence, and ability–because in real life the FBI is a boy’s club–and I didn’t want her to take a back seat.

October 1995:

**Note**: Carter teases a lot during this interview, but his last answer is serious enough.

Melissa: The chemistry between Mulder and Scully is great. Will their relationship ever develop into more than just being partners and friends?

Chris Carter: They’ll find out they’re actually third cousins, four times removed.

Naber: With Mulder getting a girl [a topical Season 3 rumor], will we be seeing Scully having more of a personal life or a date?

Chris Carter: Scully will join a nunnery when she learns that Mulder has strayed.

Mary Paster: Rumors about a girlfriend for Agent Mulder have a lot of fans worried that this will ruin the “sexual tension” between him and Agent Scully — can you tell us anything about it to calm our fears?

Chris Carter: ...About Mulder’s girlfriend… don’t worry, I won’t let anything “ruin” Mulder and Scully.

December 24, 1995:

Q: As you know, there has been a lot of speculation that Scully is Samantha. [Agent Mulder’s sister, Samantha, was abducted by aliens when she was a child and never seen again, causing Mulder to become obsessed with UFO’s. If she were alive, she would be the same age as his partner, Dana Scully.]

A: [Chuckles] People with too much time on their hands.

Q: Can you tell fans that is definitely not the case?

A: That is not the case.

Q: There’s also speculation that Scully is a lesbian and that’s why there have been only fleeting mentions of past romance for her. Is Scully gay?

A: That is not the case either. I hate to answer anything definitely. But Scully is heterosexual.

January 1996:

Interviewer: How close to your original vision is what we get?

CC: I have to say that it’s extremely close to what I imagined. Of course, when I was sitting and writing the pilot, I never imagined episode 73, which is where we’ll be this year. Anyone who creates a show, I don’t think, can look that far down the road. But I did, indeed, have an idea about how the Mulder and Scully relationship would progress. 

Interviewer: How important is the sexual tension between the characters?

CC: I never wanted them to jump in the sack together because it was uninteresting to me. To me, the most sexual relationships are often the ones that are never realized, consummated or even spoken about. So I wanted this to be two smart people who work together, who happen to get along very well. Through their shared passion in their work, there is a natural chemical sexual tension that comes out of that, that doesn’t ever have to be spoken about, but it works.

May 13, 1996:

Since the very first episode, the slow-burn chemistry between Mulder and Scully has had fans in a delicious torment, debating the pros and cons of a romantic/sexual relationship, analyzing the details of each gesture, each word spoken by the characters.

On this subject Chris Carter is adamant. In numerous interviews, he has stated that there will be a relationship between the two main characters “when hell freezes over,” as he recently said in USA Today.

May 16, 1996:

Interviewer: Do chat types want romance between Mulder and Scully?

CC: They do and they don’t. They want elements of it without them jumping into the sack. There are these “relationshippers” who kind of dominate the online chats. I’m a little dismayed because I don’t want to do a show about fuzzy warm Mulder and Scully. Never.

SEASON 4 - SEASON 5

1997:

Question from Dublin, OH (Sunil Karve): Hi Chris. On that terrible day when the series comes to an end, are you planning on having Mulder and Scully finally get to the “truth” (and more importantly, be able to prove it?)

Carter: They’ll be too busy jumping each others’ bones.

Question from North Syracuse, NY (Ellis): Will a romantic relationship develop between Mulder and Scully?

Carter: No romance.

PEOPLE: Ah the QUESTION…Why not?

Carter: More alien stuff is coming soon.

February 20, 1997:

Interviewer: If the show is ever in trouble, don’t you think Fox would push you to have a romance?

CC: Oh, sure.

Interviewer: And how strong do you think you’ll be when that call comes?

CC: As I say, I may not be here by then, so I don’t know. But I would resist it, as I think the characters would. Or the actors that play them. That’s what The X-Files movies are going to be for.

FIGHT THE FUTURE

March 14, 1998:

[John Shiban] "Chris Carter has said that Mulder and Scully, in a way, are having a romance. Even though it’s not a sexual romance, this is a relationship and it is complicated. And sometimes they are at odds, sometimes they don’t agree, sometimes they are concerned for each other, they are worried that one is going to endanger themselves, etc. Sometimes those things aren’t resolved and we like to leave it lie(?) because it makes them more real to us and more interesting people if they have that kind of long-term up and down that you go through in a relationship like this."

May 1998:

TVG: There has also been a lot of buzz in the press about a scene in which Mulder and Scully kiss. You’ve often said you wouldn’t play that card, that they will never really take their professional relationship to an intimate, romantic level.

CC: Nor should they. I’m not saying it would never happen, but I think the characters, if they’re being true to themselves, would be careful about finding themselves in that entanglement.

June 1998:

Y’know, like do Mulder and Scully kiss?

“I think it would ruin the show,” Carter says, then adds, “I think it would wreck the X-Files if they had a relationship.”

Anderson chuckles: “What? Before we spot an alien, what are we going to do? Smooch?”

Reports Duchovny: “There is way too much history to be developed for them to have a carnal meeting.”

Besides, says Duchovny, smirking, “America wouldn’t stand for it.”

SEASON 6

October 1998:

[Talking about FTF's almost-kiss]:

“I think it’s a natural expression of the love these two people obviously have for one another. And that was an expression of that love, it’s not necessarily a perfectly…” Carter drifts off for a moment, stumbling for the right words to describe his thoughts on the matter. “It’s not a sexual expression. That they almost kiss isn’t stepping over a line that I think that neither of them are quite prepared to step over. But it’s a quite believable one,” Carter insists. “That it doesn’t happen, that’s part of the fun.”

Although Carter says Mulder and Scully’s relationship will be dealt with in Season Six, he does stick firm to one of his former proclamations: “I don’t see Mulder and Scully getting in the sack.”

December 1998:

“They are VERY complex characters. We played with Mulder and Scully’s belief systems in the fifth season. They’re both unmarried. They’ve both lost parents, and they’ve both lost them in a tragic way. Mulder and Scully have a lot to learn about life, I think, and they’re things that people have to learn as they move through their 30s and on into their 40s,” CC observes. “So, I really do think we’ve got a lot more to learn about our characters and about the conspiracy. I don’t think we’ll run out of ideas anytime soon.”

CONCLUSION

I started this exercise as a way to understand Chris Carter's thinking. Seeing the early days of his vision-- poking around in the limitations of his verbiage, finding that a deeper relationship was always in the cards (even if kept back from the table)-- was informative and intriguing.

(What really interested me-- which I couldn't include here-- was the revelation that Gillian Anderson was of the same mind concerning Mulder and Scully's partnership. It was actually David Duchovny who later became curious to explore a more personal relationship between the two. Which explains The Unnatural, I'd bet.)

And that's where we leave off on this platonic miscommunication.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[ironunderstands]

I've seen some people mention that at the end cutscene of 2.2, while everyone else in the dreamscape looks to be waking up/seems dazed, Ratio looks composed????? Like this is a normal Tuesday and said people said "what if he's been awake from the Order dream for actually a while lol"

Thoughts, o Aeon of Reading Comprehension?

Knowing Ratio, yeah, he probably figured out he was in a dream pretty quickly, perhaps even as early as 2.2.

There are two things that confuse this though:

It doesn’t linearly become Ena’s dream, there’s no specific moment in time where everything is no longer reality. Rather, the entirety of Penacony is slowly falling into the dream, with people like the Trailblazer going in first because of their sensitivity to Memoria. Honestly the Ena’s dream thing is very confusing, but what I’m trying to say is that it’s difficult to pinpoint when exactly Ratio woke up, but we can make a few assumptions

We just don’t see shit from Ratio’s end like, at all. The amount of screentime he has versus his importance in the story is nuts, to the point where I think they are almost deliberately hiding what went down on his end. Like bro how did you figure out Dormancy, what happened 😭

However, even with these limitations I still have somewhat of an idea of what I think happened.

The Ratio we meet next to Aventurine and Topaz following our “defeat” of Sunday likely isn’t the real Dr. Ratio. Because well, look at him. And look at them for that matter 😭 “The IPC is going to leave Penacony alone” “I Veritas Ratio am working with the Genius Society” this seems more like wishful thinking on the Trailblazer’s end rather than something that could ever happen in reality, especially since in what universe would Ratio find the time to somehow convince and work with the Genius Society on a topic neither he nor they would care about.

Moreover, this scene is also meant to make the audience go “hmm, something’s up” so the twist that it was all a dream had more impact. However, in that scene, Himeko and Welt also comment on how weird their behavior is, which makes me wonder. Were Himeko and Welt (and by extension Dan Heng and March) also experiencing the same dream as TB, or are they also fake, and TB’s closer relationship with the other members of the Astral Express makes them more realistic in Ena’s dream, objecting to the IP3’s behavior in a way they would in reality?

Anyways, tangent over, the point is, that Ratio wasn’t real, so where is the real Ratio? I’d say he’s experiencing a perfect dream of his own, just like everyone else on Penacony.

Which is why he woke up so early. Sure, the memokeepers could have sensed he was useful and woke him up so he could help wake others up, something which we can assume he’s doing based on the singular frame he gets in that cutscene.

Just based on vibes, it looks like he just helped those two people in the back wake up, and now he stands up to look at the Hunt arrows/stars/meteors? Shooting across the sky.

However, I want to entertain the idea that Ratio woke up on his own, because realistically, he 100% could.

Ena’s dream, and well, Penacony in general offers a perfect reality, and that’s not something Ratio believes in. He would immediately notice everything is too good to be true, and that would cause the dream to fall apart. Interestingly, Ena’s dream also seems to tailor itself to the individual, so what would be too perfect for Ratio to ever believe it could happen in reality?

I’m sure you have already guessed the answer.

How was it, Veritas Ratio? Having the thing that unraveled your dream be the one thing you have wanted all your life? How does it feel, knowing that being acknowledged by Nous is something that could never happen to you in reality?

How was it?

I still think it could have happened in other ways, or maybe he avoided falling into the dream in the first place somehow, but ultimately, I prefer my idea the most.

I hope this satisfies your question

[silviakundera]

Does it feel like they're trying to redeem the dickless bore? idk if he's doing a con on her or they're showing he has real feelings for her wasn't the novel different?

One thing I'm really noticing in the Princess Royal (Grand Princess) adaption is that they will 'play it straight' with characters like Su Rongqing and the Emperor: giving the character similar dialogue and facial expressions as they would have in the novel -- except without PWX or LR's internal dialogue of 🙄 why u lying???

🙄 lol ok sure

😒 oh i see, back on your bullshit again

😤 the AUDACITY

😬 oh shit oh shit danger BE COOL

The consequence is that if you take everything at face value, the Emperor seems like a reasonable guy and not up for The Absolute Worst Dad award. Under the surface, the novel reader knows he is acting out a play and coldly calculating every interaction with Li Rong, the Crown Prince, and Consort Ruo. Every single scene with him, Li Rong is in peril and she knows it. She's pretending to be his sweet, obedient 19 year old daughter who believes in him and is following Pei Wenxuan's direction and acting as a puppet, making moves that he has already approved PWX to make. The Emperor's pretending that this play isn't supposed to end with LR and the Crown Prince taken down & the power transferred into Consort Ruo and the other prince's hands.

The viewer can just interpret all the words coming out of a character's mouth as facts & just believe everything they claim about their motives/real agenda as true. Or they recall the implied horrorshow of Life 1 and view all of these interactions with a cynical eye, questioning what else could be under the surface.

With SRQ, that guy is so fucking complicated. I think actually he's portrayed in character. Nothing we have seen isn't .... him. At least so far, as of ep 19 he aligns with the novel.

But 3 different factors: A) The music is romantizing him; B) The audience is given a couple internal-thought voice overs from him, which other antagonists don't get; C) With those voice-overs, the screenwriter has chosen to affirm his love for his brother and LR way earlier than the reader has it confirmed in the novel (where he is intentionally kept a total mystery for far longer, while the reader is the math lady meme, trying to piece together clues to figure him out).

And ultimately, when in SRQ's PoV in the drama, we have to deal with him being the hero of his own story. He is absolutely sincere about himself and, as has been revealed, in his own way he's sincere about wanting LR and his brother to have a good life this time around.

So does that mean the writer intends to do a swerve in the narrative arc and redeem him in the end? It's totally possible. Maybe?

However, not necessarily.

#1 There is a certain refrain from many of the great cnovel/drama villians: I had no choice! You all forced me to this!

We saw it from Shen Yurong in The Double, we saw it from Meng Yao/JGY in The Untamed, and in the novel (and I presume in the drama), we're gonna see it from Su Rongqing.

And it's the reason why they become villians who can't be saved. Because so many people suffer in life or experience unfairness. But they don't turn around and use this as an excuse to enact horrible cruelties on others.

Out of the billions of people in the world, few have no problems but so many of them actively chose to do good, or are willing at least to turn back and be better.

#2 imo the reason LR has historically been bad at reading people's hearts but has an exquisite read of SRQ, his flaws & darkness, is THAT'S HER FUCKING MOM. And I do think ep 16-18 put that out there in the text, if you're looking for it. He and the empress are the same sophisticated aristocrat who is clever & educated but with a narrow perspective limited by their privilege and desperate need to maintain the status quo. So sorry bro, but no wonder she might have settled for marrying you in the first life if you wanted to, but she was never gonna fall in love with you 💀.

PWX can see that SRQ loves her and he thinks that matters, so it scares him. LR has tender nostalgia for her empress mother and her former companion but she's all too aware that their love for her will not necessarily get in the way of stepping on her to protect the social structure of a powerful aristocracy class operating at a higher level above the peasants and restraining the throne. To them, this is safety and stability that guards the realm.

(ofc both those characters are complex and when it comes to LR's life & death we can't be confident on what they will always choose. that's part of what made all the palace drama aspects of the novel incredibly suspenseful. So many of the suppporting characters are layered and tho everything they do makes sense when it happens, you can't often predict people's hard choices when their back is up against the wall)

Story of Kunning Palace and The Grand Princess say that caring about people and trying your best to understand them, wanting what's best for them by listening to what's best for them, can make a huge difference. But not everyone is willing to change.

[uboat53]

Forget who won or lost last night's debate, let's face it, vice-presidential debates rarely do much to alter a presidential race and it's just an excuse for pundits to milk more paycheck. No, I want to talk about something a bit more important, did anyone else notice that J.D. Vance got very offended when the moderator dared to state factual information relevant to something he said?

This isn't a one-off either, Trump and most of his supporters have been outraged at fact-checkers generally ever since he started campaigning back in 2015. They've been working tirelessly ever since to try to define fact-checking out of the job of journalism.

In doing so, they use excuses like "well, if the other side disagrees then they can fact-check", but I want to make sure that every single person is clear as to why that's a terrible idea, because it is. Let's talk about the Gish Gallop.

Dwayne Gish was a creationist in the 1980s and, as was the style at the time, he would travel the country participating in formal debates with proponents of evolution. Over time, he developed the method that eventually was named after him, the Gish Gallop. The idea behind Gish Gallop is very simple, you make a bunch of statements in rapid succession. Each statement takes only a second or two to say, but would take minutes or longer to disprove. In a debate where only two sides are allowed to speak, this forces the other side to either let your statements go unchallenged or to spend all of their time disputing them, failing to make any points or their own and probably also failing to disprove all of them in the time allotted.

In other words, a debate where there is no requirement to make factual statements or back up anything you say with factual evidence is a debate that favors the liar.

Now, I reviewed a few fact-checks of the vice-presidential debate and one thing becomes immediately clear, J.D. Vance lied a lot more than Tim Walz did. Politifact checked Walz at 6 true statements to 2 false while Vance was at 6 false to 1 true, the AP had Vance at 5 false statements to Walz's 2, and Factcheck.org had Vance at 10 to Walz's 2 false staments.

Should Walz have been forced to use all of his debate time rebutting Vance's lies? More importantly, even if he did, was there any reliable way for the audience to tell, without outside information, which of them was telling the truth? Without a moderator whose job it is to point out factual information when one side or the other lies in their argument, there's no way for the side that is being truthful to win.

Now, if you're a Trumpist, that's obviously the goal, Trump lies a lot and everyone who follows him does too; setting the rules up for liars to win is obviously good for them. For the rest of us, though, anyone who isn't mindlessly dedicated to the cult of Trump, why would we want a system that rewards lying and penalizes the truth? I hope you can see that we wouldn't.

More importantly, think about what it means that one side is relentlessly pushing for rules of debate that massively advantage liars. The media itself also isn't blameless here, the Gish Gallop has been well known since the 1980s and the fact that the news media after nearly a full decade of Trump still hasn't taken the most basic lessons of how to deal with it is absurd and it's a huge failing of the so-called "bulwark of democracy".

Ultimately, though, you, as a citizen of a democracy, have the ability to make up your own mind. Whatever else you think, whatever policies you may prefer or whatever your political preferences may be, I want you to ask yourself one question:

Do you want people who incentivize lying to govern this country?

[sunshine-theseus]

Fantastic Mr Fox | Aggie Beever-Jones x reader

Word Count: 2.1k Summary: she's a cute girl and has impeccable movie taste Warnings: injuries, nothing else really. guys i love fantastic mr fox and wes anderson films, i have since i was like 4, so i love this fic. Request for - @realsociadadferminofan

Finally joining a team after being in their academy was something so unnecessarily terrifying. Joining a team after being in their rival’s academy, was possibly 10x worse.

Joining Chelsea from the Arsenal W.F.C. Academy was somewhat of an ultimate act of treason. I got DMs from Arsenal fans insulting me and calling me a traitor, ‘you’re not good enough anyway’. DMs from Chelsea fans were predominantly kinder, but I did receive a few ‘you don’t deserve to be here’ messages.

I had been sent on loan to Chelsea last season, straight out of the academy, which had been more accepted because it was seen as something I didn’t have a choice in. Now that I had officially signed with the Blues? Life was harder than it should be. I’m not particularly close with anyone yet, not thinking I was going to be staying around long enough for them to matter, and I’m having to compete to even play because of the diverse skills and experience of our players.

I met Aggie on the first day of training. I wasn’t expecting the number of new players that had joined me in signing over the summer or after the World Cup, and it was severely intimidating.

The person I could claim to be the closest to, was Niamh, which in turn meant I was some-what friends with Jessie, but the roommates had yet to arrive by the time I walked into the locker room, searching for my locker and number which had now been changed due to the apparent must for Mia Fishel to be 2 if she signed. I think I cried about it the day I found out. I had been number 2 since I was 4, clumsily kicking a ball around on horrid grass under gloomy skies, and I was forced to just give it away.

“You’re not number 2?” an unknown voice perks up beside me as I plonk down at my new cubby, the number ‘32’ looming over my head.

I turn to my left, and see a rather well put together blond, lacing up her boots. A new face, but seemingly kind. I tilt my head to the side as she looks up, having not answered the question.

“Sorry, I’ve followed you for a while. You’re always 2, aren’t you? You were last season.”

“Oh… I had to um, give it up. Mia made it a requirement to be number 2 if she signed. Didn’t even give me an option.”

“That’s pretty unfair, it’s special to you. I’m Agnes by the way. Everyone calls me Aggie.” She reaches out her hand for me to shake, which I gently do.

“Like from Fantastic Mr Fox! I’m Y/N.” I smile softly at her as I lace up my own boots.

“You know Fantastic Mr Fox?”

“It’s the best movie ever!”

“Right?!” she then pauses.

“Hey, so I don’t really know anyone here… could I stick with you?” Aggie rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet as she asks the question.

“For sure! I’m not super close with anyone yet, well I’m sort of close with Niamh and Jessie, but I’d love to stick together.” I hop up from my seat and begin to walk along side Aggie as we approach the field, the meeting room seemingly deserted to instead focus on introduction games that tie to our warmup.

~~~~~

It takes a month for me to realise I have a crush on Aggie. Neither of us having anything to do during the October/November international break except train while ¾ of the squad were out, meant a lot of time pretty much one on one. I tell Niamh straight away, the girl having become somewhat of a big sister to me, and she laughs and tells me most of the team already figured.

“Emma loves pairing you up to watch you stumble and blush.”

“What the fuck?!” the call doesn’t last much longer, as Aggie comes to collect me for our gym session, in which I am a very poor spotter for the girl as I gawk and blush as she rolls up her sleeves and lifts the weights.

~~~~~

Now a month after that, I’m sitting out altogether due to spraining my calcaneal tendon in the Champions League game against Madrid.

“This fucking suucks. Fuck Athenea. We were going to play our first ever game at Stamford Bridge together” Aggie pouts, leaning of the fence as I hobble into the seats behind the subs bench, plopping down next to Millie and Guro.

“I know. You have to score for me pretty please. And do a knee slide and give a heart when you get it.” I gingerly smile at her, and she dramatically rolls her eyes.

“Your wish is my command princess.” She jokingly gives a bow.

My mouth gaps open and closed and I feel my face burn as it’s overcome by a deep shade of red. Aggie chuckles and says goodbye before she heads back to the locker room, getting ready to start the game.

“You are down so fucking bad.” Millie teases and Guro hums in agreement.

“Am not!”

“She called you princess and you malfunctioned. It’s like your brain shuts down. You should ask her out.”

“What?! No way! She does not like me back.” The captain and the Norwegian stare at me, blinking once as their mouths drop open, scarily in sync.

“Man, if you can’t see how much she likes you, there is no hope.” Guro chuckles and turns back to the game that’s about to start.

Aggie scores in the 23rd minute. A pass from LJ sets her up and she easily puts the ball in the net. And as promised, she smoothly slides on her knees, making a heart with her hands as she glides along. She moves to take her place as they set up to start again but stops briefly and points to me with a toothy grin. It’s a small gesture to show who the goal was for, and I make a little heart in return.

“Okay! I’m fucked! Millie what do I do?” I frantically turn to the girls next to me as the whistle blows, the game continuing.

“You have to sweet talk her and like offer her your jacket or something. Honestly, she already likes you so don’t change your personality. That’s important. You got that? No changing yourself.” Millie pokes my chest.

“Aye aye captain.” I solute her before Guro adds on.

“And when you ask her out on a date, make sure it’s something you’ll both actually enjoy. Like you both love that weird fox movie, so watch that together or something.”

“Fantastic Mr Fox is much more than ‘that weird fox movie’. It’s the pinnacle of film. Wes Anderson is a fucking genius.” Guro raises her hand in fake surrender.

“Sorry.”

“But you’re right, that is a great idea. W- when do I ask her?”

“After the game.” The two older women simultaneously stress that it’s imperative I do it soon.

We win 5-1, and I rush as quickly as one can with crutches, onto the pitch to congratulate the team. I hug Niamh and LJ, talk to Emma, meet pretty much everyone, before I get to Aggie. She stands off to the side, talking to Sam and Guro, the latter spotting me and pulling Sam away to talk to god knows where.

Aggie is conveniently missing a jacket, so as I approach her, I shed my own and hold it out to her.

“You’re going to freeze.” She refuses, but I push it toward her again.

“Aggie, you’re shivering, take the coat.” Her fingers graze gently against mine and my stomach swells, my breath hitches.

“Thanks.”

“Hey… would you, maybe, you can say no, like to, I don’t know-”

“Spit it out.” She nudges me and giggles.

“Do you want to go on a date?” I rush out, avoiding looking her in the eyes, fearful of her rejection.

It’s silent. Well Aggie is silent.

“Forget i-”

“Yes. I really would like to go on a date with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. What did you have in mind?”

~~~~~

“Now I've already had too much to drink, and I'm feeling sentimental, but I'm going to say something anyway, which nobody wants to admit, but I think is probably true: we beat 'em.” I glance at Aggie out of the corner of my eye, and I catch her wiping away a tear.

“Are you crying?”

“Nuh uh.”

“I cry 90% of the time during this speech it’s ok.” My hand inches toward Aggie’s that rests between us.

“It’s not even inherently sad Y/n. I’m just a baby.” She pouts at me as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

I take her hand, slotting my fingers between her’s. I wait for her to retract but she squeezes my hand, running her thumb against the back of it. I then turn my head, my eyes meeting her’s. The hazy blue irises bore into my own, drawing me closer. My other hand lifts to hold her cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” Aggie nods once and I lean in, our lips locking in a gentle kiss.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” her warm breath hits my lips, our foreheads pressed together. I respond by kissing her again.

~~~~~

We walk into training together. Not an unusual sight. The only difference is the short kiss we share before I turn on my crutches to head to the physio to have a check-up on my ankle. I’m stopped as I reach the locker-room doorway.

“No fucking way! You did it!” Millie comes barrelling toward me, wrapping an arm loosely around my neck in a headlock and ruffling my hair with the other.

I hear Aggie laugh and I jokingly glare back at her.

“Yes I did. Thanks to you. And Guro giving me the date idea by dissing Fantastic Mr Fox.”

“Guro what?!” Aggie exclaims. I smile and bid her goodbye.

~~~~~

“YOU’RE BACK!” I stumble as I catch Aggie on my back, the girls around us smiling and giggling as Emma sends a playful glare.

“Miss me? I was only gone a week.” Emma quickly separates us into pairs for a training exercise.

“More like forever. Why does your extended family live in Glasgow?” She takes a hold of my hand as we wait to be given a ball.

“My abuelita loves you if that makes you feel any better. And she’s never met you. It took her months to warm up to my sister’s husband.”

“Mmm, that does make me feel better, but a kiss would definitely help.” She perks her lips and I lean on my tippy toes to press my lips to her’s.

“Get a room!” Niamh calls out from across the field and I blush, hiding my face in Aggie’s neck as she wraps an arm around me. Everyone laughs before Emma sternly tells us to focus.

~~~~~

The time is slowly running out, we’re tied 1-1 and I get subbed on for Sam, joining Aggie on the front line. The 20 or so seconds tick down on the big screen as I run down the pitch, chasing Aggie, calling for the ball. She takes a shot on the goal but I notice the ball veering off course and rush forward. I jump, head making contact with the ball and body making contact with the goalkeeper before I fall to the ground.

I hear the crowd cheer but don’t move. My head aches but pain radiates across my shoulder and down my back. The whistle doesn’t blow even as I cry out, only once the final seconds pass. I feel hands pat my head, assuming I’m just exhausted. I eventually hear Aggie’s distinct voice break through the rest of the noise.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP THE GAME? SHE DIDN’T GET UP SO YOU STOP THE GAME!” there are waves of outraged voices that echo around me, but I can’t do anything but cry and whisper Aggie’s name.

I begin to assess myself as I wait for someone, anyone, to come help. I can feel everything, but it hurts, I can move my fingers and my toes. My breathing is a little rough and my vision is blurred by my tears. I feel someone kneel beside me.

“Hey, hey I’m here are you ok?” I expect to hear my girlfriend’s voice but it’s Ann-Katrin.

“It all hurts. W- where’s Aggie.” I groan out as she strokes my hair out of my face.

“She’s coming. She was having a word with the ref. Asshole tried to card her. The medics and Emma are coming too.”

It takes forever to be assessed, and then I’m carried out on a backboard, Aggie holding my hand as we walk through the halls.

“Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you need anything?” She spits out question after question and I smile up at her.

“I’m okay, I’ve got you.”

“You really are a quote-unquote fantastic fox.” She grins at me and leans down to kiss my forehead.

“I want to quote Fantastic Mr Fox with you all the time.”

“You will. Once you fucking stop getting hurt.”

[majaloveschris]

Hi Maja.

First of all, your blog is one of the only ones I’ve always felt was sincere, on point, respectful, and not toxic. I’ve always had a good feeling about you and how you are kind despite all the toxicity on here.

That feeling has never wavered and there is a big part of me that wants you to be right and win against these ridiculous anons that seem to want to put you down.

An opinion (which I don’t claim to be fact, just some thoughts here): I see a lot of takes on here popping up from blogs that claim they have PR knowledge and claim to be experts and read and follow along the gossip, but I think nobody really knows and they can only hypothesize on what they think is the truth.

I think CE being married (by public knowledge and Wikipedia) was the main goal here. I’ve always sort of felt this, which is why I ultimately was not surprised after he did his SMA spread that he went public with Fish girl and then later on “got married.”

The reason I say this is because HW and society is very judgmental and superficial. Being single or unmarried at a certain age always raises questions whether or not it is valid to do so. I disagree with this sentiment but unfortunately the world is how it is. It happens to regular people, so why wouldn’t it apply to celebs? Especially the ones who have basically become a pop culture icon of being an eligible bachelor/desirable.

Let’s think about this. After 2019, CE was no longer under the marvel umbrella. He had to start defining his post marvel career, and then Covid hit. So many things derailed. He randomly got an IG in 2020 but people found out it had existed as an account since 2019. Perhaps it was always the plan or it was a plan hatched by his PR team to keep him in the public eye. He became relatable internet BF with a Prince Charming storyline of when will he find the one? It was almost overkill from 2020-2022.

Now it’s 2024 and he’s supposedly been with this woman since 2021. It shows longevity and then eventual commitment. He now wears a ring in public so they see him as “settled down.” That’s the image he is now portraying for the public who doesn’t dig or care to deeper in his life.

I don’t think it’s about rebranding to attract a younger audience - if so, his pr team would have realized that gen Z actually does not fare well to age gaps and the subject of grooming and etc always comes up for this hypersensitive on PC/wokeness generation. Then add on the racism and weird ass crap from her/her friends. Definitely not boding well for a generation that lives on the internet and knows how to deep dive. His PR team would have looked at how the public reacted to other relationships like this and I feel, if it was simply he was in love with her and it was real real, would have told him to keep it on the DL DL until it was absolutely certain they had walked down the aisle. At that point, there would be no turning back.

But they marketed this before that happened. They wanted to portray her as the one similar to how in movies, they want to portray a main character and love interest as meant to be even if the audience may or may not receive it that way. How many times do we hear “this movie tanked because the leads had no chemistry and the relationship they wanted us to believe was not believable?”

But ultimately, the endgoal of if CE and his wife are a good couple or not doesn’t really matter. They have achieved their goal of he is now settled down and no longer on the market. If you choose to continue to follow him, stay for his career and not his personal life. Meanwhile, her - well, they’ll keep trying to make her happen because her end of the deal was getting more visibility and breaking into the American market. That much has been clear.

But you can lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink.

What she chooses to do with the opportunities given to her are left to be seen. Also, how the public and CE/her fanbases chooses to receive them are also left to be seen.

Will this marriage last forever? I have doubts. But I do think they considered many options and this is what they came up with. I also don’t believe CE’s actions show he is very happy with the arrangement, even less so than fish is. Because even from the subtle clues from photos and “videos” - body language does not lie.

To be fair to fish, I doubt she’s in love with him either. I think she’s getting more benefits from this because most of the negativity is being directed towards him, not her. His fans hating and harassing her are just a pinnacle of what he’s receiving from his own fanbase. Some people will disagree with me but he’s the one getting the P and G and disgusting comments and being called the worst person on earth because he married her. His own fans are turning on him and her fans can also blame him but victimize her. The general public doesn’t care too much but will say how he looks because he got with her. She remains “innocent” of any blame because at the end, she is young and he is older so he should know better. Do you see what I mean?

Meanwhile, her fans are just happy she’s getting attention and somebody to fund her poor attempts at becoming a fashion icon. She lacks in talent and work ethic but it’s an easy way for her to get engagement by being attached to him.

The day this ends and she no longer has his name will be interesting and that’s what I think his fans (remaining) are hoping for. They don’t want to reward laziness and clout chasing opportunist and I too support this. They want HIM to be better and find success and love himself more so he doesn’t continue to end up in these shitty situations. But again, he has to want that for himself. He has to want to deserve better so he can work on actually deserving of better.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this opinion. Just my thoughts and I support YOU. I hope things work out in the end in your favor because you are a great person and I selfishly want you to be right (haha). ❤️

I completely agree with everything that you wrote down. 

I remember seeing people criticize him for saying he wants to get married and have a family, yet he is still single and childless. As you said, it's stupid that people are being bullied and judged because they haven't already settled down, even if they wanted to. Finding a partner is hard, and finding a partner in his shoes is even harder. I obviously don't know whether he actually wants all of that, but saying he must not want all of that because he didn't do so is not right. A lot of people struggle with finding a good partner. 

I never agreed with people calling him by the P and G words. I guess these people either don't know what those words mean or are simply that mad as Chris that they feel the need to spread lies. He is not those things and never was. Yeah, 16 years is a lot, but she was a grownup when they allegedly met, and I think people exaggerate when they say she looks like a child. 

I think the reason most people are hateful towards him is because they are disappointed in him. I think most people had an idea about the person he is based on the information we had, and him being married to someone like her or even dating someone like her doesn't really fit into that. People aren't disappointed in her because most didn't even know who she was before Chris. We were just presented with her actual self, and we didn't have any expectations from her. But we had for him. 

I doubt either of them is in love with each other. Alba doesn't seem that happy or comfortable around him either. I think this is just business for both of them.

I still think he is a good man who made a terrible mistake. I just hope the best for him, to be honest, which I know is an unpopular opinion now because it seems like wanting the worst for him is what is trendy nowadays. Maybe I'm naive; maybe I'm just holding onto an image, but I don't think the last 20+ years were a lie. I hope he will prove me right. 

Thanks for writing this down and for being there. ♥

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: May 2024

you guyssssss you guys you guys you guys I've been reading so much this month :)

sometimes my brain gets the itch to just DEVOUR books and it's really been on me, probably thanks to the burst of energy + free time that comes with the semester ending and summer getting started! the days are longer, the last of my season depression has been kicked to the curb, and I can spend hours reading on the porch every evening. the ideal!

right now, as the month ends, I'm feeling a particular hankering towards nonfiction and juicy new summer novels; I reblogged a Lit Hub roundup of new books the other day that got my brain buzzinggggg with excitement for the coming months. we'll see if that ends up manifesting in the June roundup, but for now, here's what kept me busy in May:

Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble (Alexis Hall, 2022) - this month I read two romance novels picked by my beautiful patreonites; I did a compare/contrast between the two over on Patreon and I'll leave the majority of my thoughts there, but suffice to say that I am not a fan of Paris. definitely the weakest of the three Alexis Hall novels, and a real disappointment since I found the other two delightful. the story is straightforward enough and has some potential for sure, but Paris as a protagonist is a sodden mess who I found just insufferable. thumbs down from me, gang.

Chef's Kiss (TJ Alexander, 2022) - hi, it's the other romance novel. this one is a lot goofier than Paris Daillencourt, which is fitting since it's BA Test Kitchen rpf starring a bisexual Claire Saffitz and a nonbinary Brad Leone. it's frustrating because the story is definitely stronger than the one in Paris but the romance is piteously undercooked, although I was at least fine with the protag and her love interest getting together - they were boring but unobjectionable, unlike Paris and his love interest who I really thought would have been better off as friends. now that I'm thinking about it, you might get a perfect queer cooking show romance novel if you somehow mashed the two of them together. they're both, like, so close to working, but ultimately fall flat.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 4-6 (Ryoko Kui, 2018) - I don't even know what to say except that I'm still loving everything about Dungeon Meshi. the craft and thought that Kui puts into every facet of the world, from the big picture politics between fantasy races to the individual thoughts and feelings of each character, shows so much love for the world without ever being overbearing; it never feels like exposition is being hammered down my throat so much as little details are being tastefully arranged to be enjoyed at whatever speed and to whatever extent the reader likes. the world is getting bigger with each chapter and I'm looking forward to exploring more, especially now that Falin's hottie monster form and that good good catgirl have entered the chat.

Earthdivers Vol. 2: Ice Age (Stephen Graham Jones, Riccardo Burchielli, Patricio Depeche, Emily Schnall, Joana Lafuente, 2024) - once again I've done the worst thing that you can do as a comics fan, which is get invested in a series that's just starting out and is still releasing individual issues. the third trade paperback won't be out until December, so I guess I'm either going to have to go on hiatus with Earthdivers or start chasing down new releases on comic pirating sites, which feels shitty - that's how I read Batman comics that are the same age as me, not new stuff from authors I actually want to support! but Earthdivers might just be worth it. the second installment takes us to a wildly different setting than the first, Columbus-killing collection, dropping fearsome mother Tawny in a prehistoric North America. but while the setting changes, the series is still grappling with the question of what its protagonists are willing to sacrifice and who they're willing to become to change the past and save the world. we're starting to see bigger hints about how much history can be altered and catching some clues about the series' antagonist (???); I gotta know what happens next.

Prairie Fires: The American Dreams of Laura Ingalls Wilder (Caroline Fraser, 2017) - here it is, the book that got nonfic so powerfully on the brain! this is a riveting history whether you grew up on Little House on the Prairie or not (I didn't), tracking Laura Ingalls Wilder from an impoverished girl constantly imperiled by life on the prairie to a beloved icon of American propaganda. for me, personally, this hefty book really picks up when it gets to the endlessly complicated and frequently nasty relationship that Wilder had with her daughter when said daughter was grown; Rose Wilder Lane is a FASCINATING figure in her own right and I'm kind of obsessed with what a shithead grifter girlboss she was. fascinating stuff all around.

The Brides of High Hill (Nghi Vo, 2024) - Vo's series of Singing Hills novellas has always woven from one genre to another, exploring new types of stories just as our protagonist, the cleric Chih, explores new lands. this installation takes us straight into a gothic horror that pulls out all the stops: an isolated manor, an enigmatic madman roaming the grounds, the strangling snares of social conventions, and a blushing bride who isn't exactly what she seems. I read it in one sitting, it's delicious.

Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023) - a poppin' primer for anybody who wants to learn more about the world of kink and what the fuck is going on out there. at one point I did catch myself thinking that I was a little underwhelmed and that Greenberg wasn't really putting forth anything that radical, but then I realized that speaking extremely candidly about and validating interest in basically any kink or fetish imaginable, and yes I do mean straight up any of them, is actually A Lot for many people to handle. so, yeah, good book, check it out for a friendly and enthusiastic intro to the wide world of kink.

Sex Criminals Vol. 2: Two Worlds, One Cop (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2015) - the first volume of Sex Criminals left me feeling a little meh, but I decided to keep going because Matt Fraction's Hawkeye run was lifechanging and I know this series is pretty widely acclaimed, so I want to see where we're going with this. (plus it's free via the library, so what do I have to lose?) this volume really sold me on the series and particularly on Jon, who I was pretty lukewarm on initially. he really stole the spotlight in this one, and I like the way that the story is ratcheting up the stakes.

The Stone Sky (N.K. Jemisin, 2017) - GOOOOOOOOOD what a book! what a trilogy! in a series shaped by empires and natural disasters, the story ultimately ends with a quit confrontation of clashing ideologies, a young daughter determined to end the world and a mother equally determined that one of her children should live. and that shit hurts! I read the series a couple of times when I was younger but I was never before able to fully appreciate the work Jemisin does in crafting Essun and Nassun, showing us the way cruelty and fear have shaped both of them into the people they ultimately are and the choices they make. absolutely masterful, a legend.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World in Search of the Good Death (Caitlin Doughty, 2017) - this was another reread, and while N.K. Jemisin was blowing my mind, Caitlin Doughty was giving me a warm hug. I don't know what to tell you, reading about the ways that people all over the world care for their dead and take comfort in their memories makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. death can be really beautiful and comforting, if you're not a coward.

The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag (Sasha Velour, 2023) - listen, I'm not really a Drag Race girlie. I first heard about this book when Velour was a guest on Nicole Byers' podcast, and while I was very charmed by her I was not expecting to be blown away by her book. it's just a little cash-in for a Ru girl, right? all she needs to do is slap together some cool pictures of her in drag and a few platitudes about being yourself and boom bang, that's a book. but readers, I owe Sasha Velour an apology: this book was so much cooler and smarter than it needed to be! Velour brings an impressive eye to forces of colonialism and capitalism that shape art and conceptions of queerness, and keeps this framework firmly in place while keeping the tone of the book bubbly and lighthearted. she also goes out of her way to spotlight a huge variety of drag performers and gender nonconforming figures throughout history, celebrating all the different means of expression that make up the tapestry of contemporary queerness. a great read, and one that I've already shelled out for. a friend and I are working on a documentary exploring the nuances of queer style, and I know I'm gonna want to pull heavily from Velour's thoughts and the history she's curated.

[gwynndolin]

Screenshotting and posting myself to avoid having to subject miss punkitt to any potential resulting discourse

I think the “blame” has come down to Mojang, being a Microsoft property, and always needing to make money, must always be updating the game. And it creates a weird scenario where they must continue to add content, but have not really decided on an actual direction; the updates have become vapid and fluffy.

Vapid and fluffy would NOT usually be an issue, Minecraft has ultimately become a “pointless” game, in the same way that Animal Crossing is a “pointless" game. So content gets added with no real gameplay value, but since Minecraft has become a "pointless game", the valueless content must be defended as "Not everything needs to have a use!", which is true! But...

Minecraft's original gameplay is to exploit all of the resources around you and to use them to do Minecraft colonizing. Minecraft has contradicted its core gameplay by adding things that are not able to be exploited (no use value), or only have a promise of becoming exploitable, but ultimately get dropped when the next major update starts being worked on. No one is logging on to play Minecraft to see a sniffer, people want to do the Minecraft colonization. So the question then becomes "Why does Mojang bother with these updates that aren't with any clear intention to add onto the gameplay? Players clearly don't want this, so why continue?"

I think ultimately, the banal, directionless nature of the recent Minecraft updates is less indicative of a desire to add interesting spectacle and more of a loss of drive. I think Minecraft needs to be put to rest. Mojang needs to put a pin in it and say "We're done, this isn't what we're interested in working on any longer (ostensibly), and we feel stifled by how limiting the framework of Minecraft has become and desire to move on to different projects".

So, when you consider that survival games (or at least variations in the genre are, simulation, colony builders, farming sims, etc.) are still one of the most popular genres on Steam, I think saying "Minecraft is itself, conceptually, to blame for getting stale" is a much smaller portion of the picture; Mojang has the opportunity to keep the game interesting, they simply have not, be it poor priorities, low resources, lack of desire, lack of confidence, a limiting engine.

All that said, I know the recent snapshots have been working on reworking the NBT data system for all items in the game into something more accessible, allowing for ease of use in data packs and probably mods too. And maybe this is a hot take, but I think that this is all they should be focusing on at this point. I think if Mojang is interested at all in maintaining their (dwindling) playerbase, they should be going all in on optimizing for external player creation and allow for players to revitalize the game themselves, instead of wasting resources on trying to come up with a new flower to put in, or something.