#and ultimately i think that showing someone mercy while still acknowledging their wrongs affects more change than like

[rpgbabe]

right but like the thing is forgiveness =/= continued association. i can forgive AND 'forget' (not dwell on it) and move on like bye bye ur not for me no more. in fact i think that's almost the only way *to* truly get over someone lol. like u cant flat out leave someone in the dust unless u rly accept what they did, accept their remorse, and put it behind both of u. idk if im in love w the whole attitude of like no some ppl shouldnt be forgiven ever >:C like wat good does it rly do to hold that bitterness within u?

[noaltbruh]

BUCCI GANG AND HOW THEY WOULD PLAY UNDERTALE

Since I got my friend into the UT fandom, and the brainrot for this game is slowly coming back, I've figured that I'd fuse my favourite franchises and make this post, enjoy!

GIORNO:

-This may surprise you, but Giorno would almost do a Blind Pacifist run

-While at first, he was planning on taking out whoever got in his way, he changed his mind in the moment he saw Toriel

-After she taught him how to resolve the various conflicts peacefully, he decided not to fight, but to show MERCY to every monster

-He finds the multiplicity of choices a very interesting mechanism, especially since he's not much of a gamer, and he's pleasantly surprised to see such an innovative game

-While most of the times he would completely avoid the FIGHT button, if a monster got on his nerves a little too much, he may attack it until it doesn't want to fight anymore

-He takes the time to interact with everything and everyone, he wants to enjoy the game at its fullest

-He was so freaking lucky to meet Gaster on his first run

-Actually brought the piece of snowman with him

-He's part of the "Chara defense squad", and finds them strangely...relatable

-He was just about to do a full Pacifist route, but he couldn't bring himself to SPARE Flowey, and killed him

-"I won't let you hurt her"

-Ultimately, he regretted it, and reset his save file

-After doing a TRUE Pacifist, he left the game, leaving the monsters alone and giving them an happy ending

-Only knows about the Genocide through gameplays

-Favourite character: Toriel, but also likes Chara quite a lot

-Favourite OST: Memories, followed by home, Undertale, Megalo strikes back and Star (he doesn't care if they actually don't play in the game)

-What SOUL would he have: DETERMINATION

BRUNO:

-My man wouldn't hurt a fly if he had the chance to, off to the Pacifist route he goes

-Similar to Giorno, he finds Toriel a very comforting character, but he feels bad for pretty much every monster he meets. He thinks it's unfair for them to be forced to stay in the UNDERGROUND, and wants to find a way to destroy the barrier at any cost

-He's never played a videogame before, but he gets the hand of it quite quickly, even though he still ends up dying a couple of times.

-He would also be the kind of player to interact with EVERYTHING, paying close attention to whatever the passing monster has to say

-Sometimes, he likes to take a break, lay down and listen to the OST of the place he's exploring

-The most challenging enemies for him were Undyne and Asgore. It took him a while to realize that the only way to spare her was to run away, and he just really didn't want to hurt Goat papa

-He lets the bird carrying him to the other side, even if he doesn't actually need to move around. He just wants the little guy to feel appreciated

-Veeeery reluctantly, he decided to SPARE Flowey, it would have been a waste to kill somebody now, after everything that he had done so far

-He almost cried at the Pacifist ending

-He refuses to even acknowledge what happened in the Genocide route

-Favourite characters: Toriel and Asgore

-Favourite OST: Fallen down, but he also likes Heartache, Home and Waterfall

-What SOUL would he have: KINDNESS

MISTA:

-Mista's first run would be a Neutral. It's not that he enjoys killing the monsters, he's mostly just too lazy to think of a way to spare them

-If it's obvious, however, he'll just casually show the enemy MERCY, there's no need to take out absolutely everyone

-The only one who he genuinely looked for a way to spare was Papyrus. Honestly, he couldn't bring himself to just hurt him 'cause he had the chance to. Besides...He was afraid of what Sans would have done

-Speaking of him, he finds his jokes HILARIOUS, and he will use them in real life conversations if he gets the chance to

-He basically wasted all his money fighting Undyne

-He didn't buy the spider donut in the RUINS, and was forced to farm gold for 3 entire freaking days and buy one directly from Muffet

-After finishing the neutral route, he decided to go back and try the others. His next route was a Genocide

-He was about to shoot his computer AND himself while fighting Sans, but he eventually managed to beat him. Of course, after swearing at 3 A. M., drinking 10 cans of Sprite, listening to Megalovania on loop and threatening to throw Narancia out of the window because he interrupted him while he was playing

-His favourite moment during the Pacifist was cooking with Undyne

-He immediately questioned his life choices when he finished the route and saw Chara taking over Frisk's body. Closed the game and never opened it again

-Favourite characters: Papyrus, Sans and Undyne. He refuses to choose an absolute favorite

-Favourite OSTs: Megalovania and Song that might play when you fight Sans. He also likes Bonetroulse and Spear of justice

-What SOUL would he have: BRAVERY

NARANCIA:

-Narancia playing this game would be a total mess. Ironic, considering he's the one in the gang that likes video games the most

-Despite Toriel's guidance, at first, he would FIGHT every monster that got in his way, following the simple "It's an rpg, the more I kill, the better it is" logic

-When he saw the "but nobody came" screen, however, he freaked the hell out and immediately reset

-After that mini heart attack, he went on a full Pacifist route. However, sometimes, he would snap and accidentally kill a monster. He lost count of how many times he had to reload the file

-He also really likes Toriel (she's just very popular among the Bucci gang). The reason for it...Is not a very happy one, like in Giorno's case

-He genuinely tried to stay with her, he didn't want to leave Goat mom

-He's the one who gets emotionally invested in the game the most, he even forgets it's a game at times and just erase the surrounding world from his head

-He LOVES to voice the characters while he plays, it makes the story feel way more alive for him. He makes a very good Papyrus impression

-Speaking of which, his favourite parts of the game were the interactions between Sans and Papyrus.

-He lost his s**t when he arrived at the Temmie village. He stayed there FOR HOURS farming money. Heck, he even bought the Temmie armor

-He refused to open the game for two days after Flowey stole the SOULS

-He wanted to ask someone to play the TRUE lab with him, but he refused to admit that he was scared

-While he's not the kind of player who stops by to read every dialogue, he makes an exception for Snowdin. He really likes that area of the game!

-While he would never admit it, he cried three times during the Pacifist route. The first time when he left Toriel, the second when he heard Chara and Asriel's story, and the third when he finished it

-His favourite fight in the game is the one against Asriel. He kept on repeating the "Don't you have anything better to do" dialogue for 20 minutes, before giving up to the idea that there was really no way to save him

-After giving the monster an happy ending, he was overwhelmed by his own curiosity, and decided to try the Genocide route...Boy did it go wrong

-You thought he cried a lot during the Pacifist? He became a freaking fountain during the Genocide. Every single time he killed a Boss, he cried, with no exception

-He spent days trying to defeat Sans, until he was given the option to SPARE him, and so he did

-...The others could hear him yelling from the other floor after what happened next

-He got tired of Sans' bulls**ts, reset and did a Pacifist again

-He watched a gameplay to know what happened in the Genocide ending. Chara's jumpscare still haunts him

-Narancia gets really involved in the stuff made by the fandom, especially fan made songs and comics

-He listens to "To the bone" religiously, it's part of his routine

-He tried and failed to figure out how AUs work

-Favourite character: Papyrus, followed by Toriel and Asriel. He used to like Sans a lot too...But now he gets Vietnam flashbacks every time he thinks about him

-Favourite OSTs: Bonetroulse, Hopes and dreams and Snowdin. He can't choose between them

-What SOUL would he have: INTEGRITY

FUGO:

-Fugo would categorically refuse to reset on his first run. What it's done, it's done, and he has to take responsibilities for his choices

-He would do a Neutral, killing whoever he encounters, but without specifically looking for the monsters just so that he can kill them

-That doesn't mean, however, that he dislikes to play with the timeline. It's quite the opposite, to be honest

-Fugo enjoys messing around with the save files A LITTLE too much, dude basically became an hacker playing this game

-In his attempt to make a Pacifist run, he fu**ed up and accidentally got the Hacker ending

-"...THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID I WANTED EVERY ENDING"

-He toned it down a little after that, but he still managed to modify the FUN value enough to meet Gaster and his followers

-He's also the only one who unlocked Sans' room. He doesn't trust him, but he finds him an interesting character

-Neither the Pacifist or Genocide endings particularly picked his interest, even though he did punch the walls a couple of times fighting Sans

-He likes to try the different Neutral endings, he doesn't do all of them, just the ones he thinks that would affect the monsters the most

-The only character he got attached to emotionally was Alphys, he can see himself a lot in her

-He's very interested in the various theories that surround this game, and he's waiting for Deltarune to come out, he just wants to know more about Gaster

-Favourite character: Alphys, but Gaster is a close second

-Favourite OST: Darker, darker, yet darker, followed by Here we are, Waterfall and Premonition

What SOUL would he have: faded BRAVERY

ABBACCHIO:

-MERCY? Is that a food? Yeah uhm...No, that doesn't exist with Abbacchio, nothing but Genocide for him

-It's already a surprise someone convinced him to play this game. He'll play in his own way, and that means killing literally everyone, not simply the ones he encounters, but even looking for them just to earn more Exp

-He was...Weirdly satisfied when he saw the "But nobody came" screen, and he was lucky enough to find every monster almost immediately

-He hadn't found a single character that he liked until he reached Undyne. Her sense of justice reminded him of his old self, which wasn't exactly pleasant at first, but at least he felt something

-He was finally happy to see a monster actually trying to stop what he was doing, and killing her was the only thing in the game that made him slightly sad

-He's still offended for not having the chance to kill monster kid, he couldn't stand that child

-He skipped through pretty much every dialogue in the game, not that there are many people to interact with during the Genocide...

-He'd eat a piece of the snowman right in front of him just to spite him, then take the rest and leave

-He didn't care about whatever Flowey was trying to tell him about his past. That's also because without knowing he's Asriel, most of what he says doesn't really make sense

-In the moment Sans dodged his attack, he realized that he had screwed up REALLY bad. After dying against him a couple of times, he considered resetting, but he wouldn't have let "the lazy skelefu**" have it his way

-He let out a huge "YES" and a sigh of relief when he finally managed to hit him, it took him around a week

-However, little did he know, that the worst still had to come. When he noticed that he wasn't the one who had just killed Asgore and Flowey, he freaked out a little, and Chara staring directly at him made him feel a small shiver down his spine

-Still, he decided to decline their offer to destroy everything, not because he regretted what he had done, he just wanted his revenge on the child for scaring him

-He closed the game after the jumpscare, and never questioned what the hell he had been through

-Favourite character: Undyne

-Favourite OSTs: But nobody came and Battle against a true hero, he also likes The fallen child

-What SOUL would he have: very very faded JUSTICE

TRISH:

-Trish got into this game just because of its music, she kept on hearing it everywhere and wanted to understand where it came from

-She was kinda scared at first, videogames aren't exactly her forte, and her encounter with Flowey didn't help

-She slowly got used to the dynamics of the game, even though she died at least three times in every area, exept for the RUINS. (She only got a game over two times there)

-She doesn't have the heart to hurt anybody, she thinks the monsters (well...Most of them, at least) are adorable! Shyren is her favourite minor enemy, and when she saw the "Taking piano lessons again" text, her heart melted a little

-She refused to take off the faded ribbon until she found she tutu, but she never sold either of them

-She loves flirting with literally ANYONE. You can? Well then...You must!

-Her favourite area is Hotland, including the Core too. She loves the whole "artificial" theme of the place, and she had a lot of fun reading Alphys's posts!

-She would pretend to be an actual part of Mettaton's programmes, but only when she was 100% sure nobody could hear her

-Needless to say, the boss fight against him was one of the funniest parts of the story for her

-Another thing she absolutely adored were the dates with Papyrus and Alphys, especially the latter. After everything that had happened, it was a nice opportunity to relax for a bit

-Similar to Narancia, Trish gets really involved emotionally in playing the game, and she had to take a little break from it before facing Asgore

-The ending genuinely made her cry, but it was the only time she shed a tear through it

-She doesn't care about trying the Genocide, she's worked hard to give the monsters an happy ending, and she wasn't going to throw it away

-She's in love with the Undertale Musical by Man on the Internet, she knows pretty much every song by memory

-Favourite character: Mettaton, but she honestly really likes all of them

-Favourite OST: Death by glamour, followed by Metal crusher, Power of NEO, and Another medium

-What SOUL would she have: INTEGRITY

Yes, I know that Narancia's part is longer, but it's just so funny to write about this baby, bear with me please 😌

[riddlerosehearts]

okay, i’m on my way home from AWA and i’ve finally had time to actually look into overwatch 2 and collect my thoughts, so here goes... this is gonna get far too long and essentially be a big essay that i know most people won’t care about, but i just really wanna get my thoughts out so i’ll drop it under a readmore! also be warned that if you‘re super into the new character designs you won’t be into part of this post, lol. but anyway:

first off, i think a lot of the discourse i’ve seen about it seems... overblown and based on inaccurate info?? (don’t worry i am not talking about hong kong here, people are absolutely justified in hating blizzard for that and so do i). people keep acting like they’re gonna charge $60 just for new maps or something but for one thing no price or release date has been announced (in fact, the dev team doesn’t even know when it will release and it’s been said that we may have to wait until 2020 for a date, because it’s still early in development), and for another thing overwatch 1 wasn’t even $60 on pc at launch?? yes on console it was which sucks but most of the playerbase is on pc, and the base game was $40 at launch for us. blizzard cannot be so colossally stupid that they’d charge more for this than for the base game, and if they do i’ll absolutely be complaining about it, but for now we literally have no clue how much the cost for OW2 will be.

and on top of that, it’s... not just new maps? it’s new maps, yes, but also multiple new heroes at launch, a whole new PvP mode, a PvE story mode which is something people have begging for to move the lore forward, a new updated engine, and the PvE will have its own maps and brand new abilities and skill trees—with the abilities and skill trees being unlike anything overwatch has done before, and uniquely exclusive to OW2 and not affecting the PvP so you’re not unfairly disadvantaged if you don’t have OW2—and i also feel the need to reiterate that it’s still in early development so i highly doubt we already know all there is to know. blizzard hasn’t been entirely clear on what overwatch 2 even is tbh but it’s certainly not just new maps and if you think it is then i’m actually begging you to spend at least 30 seconds on google because 30 seconds is really all you need to click on one article and see that that’s far from the truth.

also if you’re not interested in the lore then from what i’m gathering you don’t even need to buy it because apparently OW1 is getting all the same stuff except for that? like, people are saying blizzard should just release it all as free content, but apparently they almost are since the new “push” game mode, plus the map that comes with it (and any future ones) is coming to OW1 and it’s gonna keep getting all the hero updates and everything that isn’t exclusive to the PvE mode and players will be put into the same PvP lobbies across games?? correct me if i’m wrong on that but it sounds like if you already own OW1 and don’t want the story mode stuff you literally don’t need to buy OW2 at all—so if you do then you’re just buying the story mode/PvE stuff, that’s it. and if you do, every cosmetic item you already own will transfer over! it’s also not like OW1 is done updating, as we know we can still expect new heroes in it before OW2 releases.

don’t get me wrong, i am a bit worried that the amount of new content won’t be enough to justify the price, i do still hate blizzard for the entire hong kong controversy and desperately wish they would do better, and as a massive lore enthusiast and someone whose primary reason for loving overwatch is based in its characters and world i am very frustrated that this is what it takes for the story to actually move forward, but i’m also really excited to see where this all goes and i honestly think people are largely just complaining without actually looking into what they’re complaining about. i also literally don’t understand the idea that “lol overwatch already had this for like a week before they took it out” about the PvE stuff and would like someone to explain that to me if possible because i’ve been playing this game since very shortly after launch and i’m confused asjdjdnfkd

that all being said i do have what i’m guessing is a pretty unpopular opinion though, and it’s that i... i don’t like most of the character redesigns we’ve seen, and the ones i do like i mostly just kinda like, i don’t love them or feel excited about them, while the rest i’m neutral toward or hate, and that actually really upsets me because the ones i hate most are for two of my most favorite characters and it makes me worried for what they might’ve done to redesign and potentially mess up my other faves—but i guess these will be the designs going forward, and everybody’s pretty fanart is gonna have these designs, so i’ll just have to get used to them.

to be more specific on that last point: i absolutely hate lucio and mercy’s hair and i’m honestly really sad about that, especially since i run a mercy appreciation blog and i don’t wanna celebrate her new design on it because i hate it so that would be very insincere of me but i don’t wanna say negative things and complain on it either, but i just think her hair looks so strange now. and i like lucio’s outfit tbh but his weird neon glowstick hair just... ruins it, it looks so bad to me i can’t stand it and i want his regular hair back. i would honestly prefer not to even acknowledge these 2 designs (well, mostly the hair i guess) exist if i could help it. i also don’t like reinhardt’s beard or bun although i am glad to see his face exposed and like the lion on his armor, and i can see his new hair possibly growing on me eventually. and while mei’s design is mostly okay i loved her old hairpin, it was distinctive and cute and i’m sad it’s gone because i dislike whatever it is that’s in her hair now sjdjdkgkd. also before seeing a side by side comparison i legit had to ask a friend if anything was even different about winston or if i was just blind—which i guess, considering how i feel about the others, is a good thing for me lol. but if you like all these designs that’s valid and i’m happy for you!! just don’t expect to see me praising them, but i’m also not gonna be super negative like this too often either.

for kinda-positives: i actually do really enjoy one single new design though, and it’s genji’s, but not for any specific reason other than i’m excited that he’s finally wearing clothes lol. i don’t feel strongly either way about the design of the clothes themselves (...though i do lowkey agree with the people saying they’re boring looking, but hey, my man is finally done running around naked everywhere, so i’ll take it). and i like tracer’s new glasses and the fact that she ditched the crocs finally!! i’d also like to talk a bit more about mei’s design—a friend of mine is saying people are complaining they slimmed her down, and i haven’t seen any of that for myself but if they really are then i uh... don’t get that? she still looks just as fat to me?? i’ll just let this comment i made in discord as soon i saw the new designs speak for itself:

so yeah, if she is any skinner it’s because of the newly normal-sized coat, because when i look at the models side by side she legit looks the same size to me or maybe a little bit smaller—but hey, who knows, maybe i truly am just blind! but anyway, if you gave her old hairpin back then i’d honestly have no issue with her new design.

i truly hope the new designs will grow on me more though, especially mercy’s because the feeling of having an appreciation blog for a character you love a lot and not being able to celebrate something like this is a feeling that really sucks, but i... feel very alone in disliking them as much as i do and while i’m glad everyone else is happy i’m sad about that?? at least all the old skins will still be there though, so ultimately i suppose it isn’t that big a deal, i just really really hope i don’t hate symmetra or hanzo’s redesigns too whenever we see them, assuming that every character is getting these design overhauls.

i’ve also had the time to finally watch the gameplay trailer and the cinematic, and you know what’s one of the things i’ve always loved about overwatch? the maps have always been gorgeous, and the ones shown in the OW2 trailer are no exception and i can’t wait to fully see them and explore them. the gameplay itself looks solid too imo and i am very excited to see sojourn will be added to the game, she’s gorgeous and i love her. and the cinematic!! it had so many cute little details, like the ana & baby pharah photo and the birthday photo, and tracer having that picture of emily. and the winston-tracer-mei friendship, getting to see genji and rein being badasses... seeing brigitte and then echo both show up, mercy and mei having that cute little moment, everybody working together and being amazing. the scene between brigitte and tracer that was adorable, the fact that rein made a terrible “ice to meet you” joke the second he was introduced to mei. seeing winston so happy to be able to say that overwatch is back. just... it was cute and cool and fun and i liked it a lot, it reminded me of what made me fall in love with this game in the first place and it made me really excited! i also think that the story should’ve moved forward like this much sooner and that we should’ve been getting much more shorts and comics in between, and i also wish that we didn’t have to wait until overwatch 2 to get sojourn because we still don’t actually have a black woman that we can play as and that really really sucks, but i’m still looking forward to everything as well.

so, in conclusion: i uh... may have mixed feelings about some things but i have to confess that i’ve loved overwatch for years, many of the characters are very special to me, and i’m genuinely excited about overwatch 2. i fully intend to start looking into charities that support hong kong as soon as i can because i want to actually do something for them and show that i’m not ignoring what’s going on over there, but i also wanna buy overwatch 2 whenever it’s released and i feel excited to play it. unfollow or block me for that if you have to but nothing good would come from me being ashamed to say it and i won’t hide it, i definitely hate blizzard but it doesn’t remove my love for the world they created. i‘m going to donate to hong kong charities and i‘m also going to buy overwatch 2 (which probably won’t even come out until 2021 or something), and i feel like giving more to them than i give to blizzard instead of just not doing anything at all is a fair enough way to deal with this issue especially since i am doing my best to boycott them otherwise. and if i play the new OW2 content and it sucks and/or just isn’t worth whatever the price is i’ll complain about it then, and if/when we see other redesigned characters i’ll probably complain about some of them too, but for now i really am excited for the most part!

[thelegendofclarke]

Sorry to bring up The Discourse again but how do you feel about the fact people don't acknowledge that while Sansa's traditional femininity is rewarded in-universe, it is a mark against her on a meta level? Many people decry Sansa as "weak" or "boring" or "stupid" due to her "girly-girl" status and her more traditionally feminine storyline, she is consistently in the bottom of character polls because people have been programmed to devalue or even hate "girly-girls".

Hey Anon!

You’re totally fine :) I really don’t mind discussing or even debating this topic tbh. It’s the condescension, vitriol, and being called an unfeminist asshole ect. ect. that I’m not particularly a fan of haha.

You’re getting into a few different points here and I’m going to attempt to talk about them in a semi -organized, coherent manner. So bear with me… Your first point of “while Sansa’s traditional femininity is rewarded in-universe” touches on one of the (floppity trillion) things that kind of ~grinds my gears~ about how this topic is discussed. 

Its a pretty significant misstatement and misconception to say that any woman is “rewarded in a patriarchy,” especially an incredibly oppressive patriarchy like Westeros. No woman is ever rewarded in a patriarchy. Not being punished is not a reward. Not being mocked or ostracized is not a reward. Being praised for conforming to an arbitrary set of standards aggressively imposed on you by society is not a reward. Not being beaten or otherwise abused is not a reward. Having basic human rights and freedoms is not a reward. Being treated with basic human decency and respect is not a reward. And tbh, thinking that these things are “rewards” is one of the things that allows a patriarchy to function in this manner in the first place. 

It’s one of the most effective tactics of oppressive societies: they shrink the size of your world and the scope of your permissible behavior, punishing you when you cross an invisible line that is perpetually moving, until you are basically stuck on a tiny patch of grass like a dog unwilling to cross an electric fence. So then, when they finally open the gd gate to take you for a walk, you’re supposed to feel grateful and say “thankyouthankyouthankyou” and pee yourself with excitement. And you do; even when you’re owned, even when you’re property. even when you’re still firmly on their leash, they can somehow make it feel like freedom. 

Margaret Atwood has some very good (and creepily accurate/applicable) quotes in The Handmaid’s Tale that really get to the heart of the problem with the idea that freedom in the most basic sense is a “reward”…

“A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze.”

“There is more than one kind of freedom,“… “Freedom to and freedom from. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to. Now you are being given freedom from. Don’t underrate it.”

And also about the fallacy that women in an oppressive patriarchy are granted any kind of real agency:

“I compose myself. My self is a thing I must now compose, as one composes a speech. What I must present is a made thing, not something born.”

“I have failed once again to fulfill the expectations of others, which have become my own.”

“That was one of the things they do. They force you to kill, within yourself.”

A system of perpetually limited freedom, agency, and self determination doesn’t allow for rewards really, at least not for the oppressed demographics. Everyone is a victim of whatever group is in power (i.e. men in a patriarchy). So then you have to start getting into the area of debating who is a “better victim” or “more of a victim,” and those conversations are alwaysss yikesy. I don’t think there is any fair or objective or comfortable way to answer a question like “whose pain, abuse, and/or oppression is most important?” People like to point out that there is always the option not to engage in patriarchal standards, but the consequences for this can be severe. So then that begs the question, is there really an option? And are we willing to blame people for choosing what ever the “not abuse” option is. Its the concept that’s at the heart of coercion: taking away someone’s choices until they come to believe that the only choice left that isn’t ~terrible~ is the thing that they want.

I can ~kind of~ see where people are coming from when they make the argument that Sansa and women like her are “rewarded in universe.” Sansa does receive a lot of praise in the narrative from other characters for being good at traditionally feminine skills. Definitely far more by a large margin than characters like Brienne and Arya, who don’t comply with prescribed gender roles. The skills Sansa has are more socially acceptable in universe of course; they are much more valuable in terms of cultural currency, and make her much more marketable in a society where women are essentially chattel to be sold or traded. But as I have kind of talked about before, comparing the treatment different types of women are subjected to in a patriarchal society and how it affects them just isn’t that cut and dry. Traditionally feminine women are supposed to be the most “rewarded” group of women, while women who do not act “how a woman should” are meant to be the most disadvantaged or disenfranchised group. But when you really examine the POV’s of women like Cersei and Sansa vs. women like Brienne and Arya, you can see if affects them mentally in very different ways.

Cersei, who outwardly seems to be the epitome of a Good Westerosi Woman in her appearance and her actions, and has the ultimate “reward” (being the Freaking Queen), seems to have the most veraciously negative mentality about her gender and her role in society.

Cersei sniffed. “I should have been born a man. I would have no need of any of you then. None of this would have been allowed to happen. How could Jaime let himself be captured by that boy? And Father, I trusted in him, fool that I am, but where is he now that he’s wanted? What is he doing?”— ACoK

“We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. He was heir to Casterly Rock, while I was to be sold to some stranger like a horse, to be ridden whenever my new owner liked, beaten whenever he liked, and cast aside in time for a younger filly. Jaime’s lot was to be glory and power, while mine was birth and moonblood.”— ACoK

“If the gods had given her the strength they gave Jaime and that swaggering oaf Robert, she could have made her own escape. Oh, for a sword and the skill to wield it. She had a warrior’s heart, but the gods in their blind malice had given her the feeble body of a woman.”— ADwD

Cersei learned how to perpetuate and perform femininity in a socially acceptable way, despite her constant frustration and contempt for its constraints. But it has left her in a state of basically complete self loathing; she is bitter and angry and just so incredibly unhappy.

Brienne on the other hand, couldn’t look or act less like Cersei. She is one of the most “masculine” female characters in appearance and stereotypical behavior. and yes, Brienne does have insecurities from the criticisms and mockery she receives.

Lady Stark had been kind to her, but most women were just as cruel as men. She could not have said which she found most hurtful, the pretty girls with their waspish tongues and brittle laughter or the cold-eyed ladies who hid their disdain behind a mask of courtesy. — ACoK

There is not question she is judged and degraded and treated atrociously. BUT, she doesn’t seem to suffer from the same resentment, self loathing and all consuming anger that Cersei does. She wants to be a knight, but she never tries to pass as a man nor wishes she had been born male. Yes, she recognizes and resents the limitations placed on her because of her gender, but she also actually expresses respect for women as well:

“No, but you have courage. Not a battle courage perhaps but… I don’t know… a kind of woman’s courage.”— ACoK

“[L]adies die in childbed. No one sings songs about them.” — ACoK

So that kind of shows how even The Best Women aren’t really “rewarded” in a system like Westeros’s. There is nothing rewarding about being pigeon holed and forced into a teeny tiny box. There is nothing rewarding about constantly being at the mercy of rigid expectations based on conformity and stereotypes and prescribed gender roles. And there is definitely nothing rewarding about being taught to hate yourself based on your gender.  

Which also relates to your next point about how Sansa’s brand traditional femininity can be a mark against her on a meta level; and how she, and other characters like her, get called “weak” or “boring” or “stupid” due to their “girly-girl” status… This is essentially one of the reasons why people argue that the rise of the Warrior Woman Character can, at times (NOT ALWAYS), be sort of a double edged sword. 

On the one hand it has been amazing for feminism. Its breaking the mold, its fighting the idea that there is only one way to be a Good Woman, its showing that there is no wrong way to be a woman. These types of characters show that sword fighting can be just as feminine as sewing. In fact these characters represent the idea that there really is no such thing as the distinction between “feminine activities” and “masculine activities.” Things do not have a gender. Activities do not have a gender. They can’t actually be male or female. They are actually neutral; their existence or practice doesn’t exclusively depend solely on one gender or the other. There is no difference between sword fighting and dancing; they are both just physical activities people can take part in. There is no difference between pants and dresses; they are both just clothes, pieces of material we use to cover our bodies. The only reason we think of them as masculine or feminine, the only reason we consider them to be gender coded AT ALL, is because we are taught to do so. And the Warrior Woman character defies these stereotypes.

But these types of characters can also be ~warped~ to help perpetuate patriarchal norms just as much as classically feminine characters can, because the fucking patriarchy ruins everything. (Seriously though, it is the reason we can’t have nice things.) That’s one of the hallmarks of a patriarchy, it appropriates something that is supposed to be empowering for disenfranchised or exploited groups and ~twists it~ to their own benefit. The Handmaids Tale has another great example of this with The Republic of Gilead’s perversion of the bible verse Matthew 5:5, “blessed are the meek.” Instead of citing the entire phrase, as the narrator Offred points out, “they never mention the part where ‘the meek will inherit the earth’.” The quotation of scripture is manipulated to support the idea that the Handmaid’s should be submissive,  that it is their duty to acquiesce to their subservient role in society.

So as a result, instead of defying gender coded distinctions, these types of females can be applauded as the “superior” type of female character because they are skilled in areas that are “traditionally masculine.” A woman who is good at sword fighting is “more badass” than a woman who is good at sewing, because being able to sword fight is a more valuable skill than being able to sew. And of course it is, its a traditionally masculine skill; the Bro-er the Better. Then all the big time, toxic patriarchal shit rears its ugly asshole head with the concept that anything feminine or “girly” is bad and that anything masculine or “manly” is good. That femininity is weakness and stupidity while masculinity is superiority and strength; that masculinity is preferential while femininity is, at best, acceptable.

This type of thinking makes the Warrior Woman Character, who is good at combat and sword fighting, stronger and more admirable, and a superior role role model, and just all around Better than the Girly Girl Character who likes sewing and dancing. It takes beautiful, strong, dynamic female characters of both varieties and polarizes them in a really annoying and unnecessary way. It makes a plot/arc/storyline where a female character learns to fight or some other traditionally masculine skill an “upgrade” and a hero story, while a plot/arc/storyline where a female character does something more traditionally feminine is a “down grade” or a ~chick flick~ and not to be taken as seriously. It makes female characters who have many different skills (both traditionally feminine and masculine) into Mary Sue’s and says “she must be bad at something! she must have glaring flaws and obvious weaknesses!” or else she “isn’t believable, isn’t relatable, and isn’t at all lovable.” 

It dictates that characters like Sansa Stark must be weak and stupid, because they are skilled at sewing and not sword fighting and they have to rely on intuition and their intellect instead of fighting and their physicality to protect themselves.

And I mean, honestly… It 👏  Is 👏  So 👏  STUPID! 👏 

[womens-anonymous]

Practiced holding my tongue so long I forgot to speak

Here I am, up at 3am, can’t sleep... again. Can’t even recall how many nights it’s been this way. All I can think is... what’s wrong with me? Why has anxiety taken a liking to me these days? When I wake, nauseousness, faster heart rate, higher body temperature, racing thoughts all seem to hit me at once. So here I am, 3am, trying to do something about it...saying what I’ve been holding in and acknowledging what’s been holding me back. 

I never stood up for myself. This whole time, my focus has been on you and your well being. I blamed your behavior and all the things you’ve said and done to me that hurt on “he’s got something going on that maybe he’s just unaware of. I see it. When he sees it, he’ll be and do better”. In reality your bad behavior is nothing more than a reflection of who you are. I’m not sure if you just got this way or if you were always this way and I choose not to see it. Either way, your behavior proves you are not well and you don’t want to change.

I cried for you. I prayed for you. I wanted for you so badly to be the man I always knew you could be. But you’re not that man. Maybe you never were. You’re selfish. You only care about you. You can try to pretend that you love and adored me or that you love and adore her, but you don’t. Your actions say you don’t. I poured into you. Gave all that I had the capability of giving. I fell short along the way because I had things that I was stuck behind, that I couldn’t get around, that were keeping me from the capacity at which I have now to love. As the woman that fell madly and deeply in love with you, the woman you planned a future with, the woman that offered you forgiveness and compassion at every wrongdoing and disappointment.... I wanted for you to be your best self. You never wanted that for yourself though. I see that now. While I was working on me, shining a light on and owning my flaws, breaking down insecurities and anxieties and obsessions, rebuilding and redefining who am I am and what I want, and re-igniting that fire that I have to be able to love someone again like I loved you/renewing my faith in love.... you were boo’d up. While I was doing all of that work on my end, I was still concerned about you. Even through the pain and anger and confusion... I still was genuinely concerned for you. I hoped that you were doing the work too. I hoped that you were somewhere thinking about me like I was thinking about you. Coming to the realization that you weren’t thinking about me, that you didn’t care, that you never communicated your true thoughts/desires/feelings and that you lied and betrayed me... that hurt. I never stood up for myself. I let you dictate when we were gonna break up, how, etc. I gave you the power to straight make me feel like a weak ass b-word. When all along it was you. Once I realized, once you showed me exactly who you are, I never said anything... I didn’t want to believe it. Now, I’m speaking it. You are a liar. You are a cheater. You are selfish. You are inconsiderate. You’re confused. You’re immature. You try so badly to be this good guy.... and for a long time I believed it. You are not a good guy. The moment you face that, face the fact that everyone has these high expectations of you- this good guy black man hero complex everyone places on you- and that you’ve fallen short of that and it’s okay is the day maybe you’ll realize just how really ain’t shit you actually are. I showed you so much mercy and grace, forgiveness and compassion, and LOVE. I didn’t afford myself that. I beat myself up. I haven’t done anything wrong though. I tried and said and did everything I could think to do. I gave you more than you deserved. I gave you more than you have ever given me. I have the capability (even more so now) to give you even more... you can’t handle it. You’re absolutely correct when you said “I deserve better” because I do. I need someone who is going to pour into me like I pour into them, believe in me like I believe in them, care about me as much as I care about them, someone who is going to fight for me as hard as I’ll fight for them. You don’t do that... you take take take and as soon as you got your fill, as soon as life got rough and things got tough, you got up and you walked away, straight into the arms of another woman. You never tried. You never gave it any effort. Those words still burn in the back of my brain, “you deserve better”... an excuse men use on women when they’re choosing not to be better. It’s an excuse used when they’re choosing not to level up, to be comfortable in where they are. I pity you. To recognize there’s an issue and to completely ignore it speaks wonders. I realized that you and this situation are a trigger for me. When I think about heartbreak, the only other time a man has ever broken my spirit, walked out of my life, and left me behind to sift through the rubble and put myself back together (aside from you of course) was my dad. He was sick. He needed help but wouldn’t take it. My mom, gave and gave and gave. She loved him more and harder than she ever loved any man before or after him. I loved him so much, it’s indescribable. He killed himself. It was selfish. His reason for suicide was that “we’d be better off without him, we deserved better”. Instead of just being better, making the effort to get right, making an effort to be the man and the lover and the father he thought we deserved he took his own life. He left us all behind to pick up the pieces, no responsibility for his actions or how they’ve affected all of us in different ways. I’ve forgiven my dad for being so selfish because I understand that mental health, emotional stability, and lack of confidence in oneself in the present and in the future all played a huge role in how things turned out. Having someone you love so deeply make the decision to take themselves out of the equation permanently without ever having tried to change, without ever having tried to unpack their issues, without giving you any say in the matter, without ever having fought for you or the relationship.... that’s heartbreak. My dad was my first best friend. I was his little partner in crime. You saw him... you saw me. I saw all of his flaws... all of them. He was a liar, he was a cheater, he was a charmer... he was imperfect. But I loved him anyway. No one could tarnish the way I felt about him... even the way I still feel about him. He was a great dad but lacked as a partner for my mom and as a man. He could have been so much better than what he was. He was stuck. The sad realization is that he’d rather give up than change. As a kid, and even still as an adult I find myself still questioning “were we not worth living for?” I understand that change, growth, reflection and taking ownership of your flaws is not an easy thing to do. It’s not comfortable. But were we not worth the fight? Did he think about the lasting impact his decisions would leave on us? If so, did he care? Did he feel like he didn’t deserve to be happy, loved, and adored? Was he punishing himself for falling short? Did he know that his baby girl would carry that heartbreak with her for 15 years, alone, before realizing that it was weighing her down... before realizing that it was not her burden to carry? I realized that my heart broke not because you broke up with me over the phone out of nowhere. It wasn’t because you cheated on me. It wasn’t because you said mean and hurtful things to push me away (probably so you could be with her) . It’s not because of your new relationship (although when you said you loved her... that was damaging, I’ll admit). I have forgiven you for everything, it wasn’t easy but I value my emotional freedom more than holding a grudge. My heart broke because I believed you were something more than what you are. My heart broke because I trusted you, I was vulnerable with you, I was intimate with you like I’d never been with another man before and you betrayed all of that. And you did it with such ease. None of that ever really mattered to you. If it did, we wouldn’t be in the situation that we’re in. I wouldn’t be heartbroken. You would be taking a real initiative to be a man. And it wouldn’t take for me to have to say and do all I’ve done for you to realize you should start to work on yourself. My heart broke because I thought I meant more to you. I thought we meant more to you. My heart broke because you, just like my dad, made the decision to take yourself out of the equation permanently without ever having tried to change, without ever having tried to unpack your issues, without giving me any say in the matter, without ever having fought for me or the relationship. My heart broke because I never expected (15 years ago and now) for a man who said he’d die for me, who said he loved me, and who I loved so ferociously to give up on me, on our relationship, on our future, and ultimately on himself. I left you untarnished. Even in heartbreak I oozed love and I genuinely cared for you. I stood tall, I wished nothing but good things for you. In return, you left me with insecurities, pain, confusion, frustration, and anxiety. I cried so many tears. Even now writing this, I have a lump in my throat. I take solace in knowing that this will pass for me. I take comfort in knowing that I provided you with every opportunity, gave you all the chances, gave you the tools. I provided you a permanent space in my heart. I tried my best to love you. I worked on me and I worked on ways to love you better. You never cared or if you did you never showed it. You never checked on me. You never tried your best to love me. You hid things from me for years. You hid your true thoughts and feelings and desires from me... yourself from me. You never took responsibility or ownership of the sheer amount of destruction you caused me. You came in like a tornado, tore my heart up, then walked away Scott free. Let me just re-iterate... I was not flawless, this I know for certain. I can own that. I know where I fell short. And I apologized. But I also know that I did not deserve to be treated like you treated me. I would never do you like you did me. Even now when I see the depths of your capability of hurting me, I still would never treat you how you’ve treated me. And that’s a part of the pain too. You are not the guy that I thought you were. I’m disappointed in you and how badly this all turned out. I was embarrassed, I felt dumb and insecure. Embarrassed that others would look at me and feel pity because of how hard I loved you and how much I believed in us, in you, and that it all just blew up in my face. Embarrassed to have proclaimed my love for you, proclaimed you were the one for me only to have you spit in my face. Embarrassed my heart broke and yours didn’t at all. Embarrassed that you moved on to someone new... maybe 2 weeks after the break up. Embarrassed that I gave myself to you sexually under the guise that she was not your girlfriend, more like a rebound, and didn’t mean much to you. Embarrassed that you’re with this other woman and a week after having being intimate and passionate with me, a week after she was just a thing, you love her. Embarrassed that it was so easy for you to fall in love with her just a few months after claiming to have loved me, after claiming you’d take a bullet for me. Embarrassed of myself because I was blind. Embarrassed that I let you back in to hurt me again. Embarrassed I let you hurt me at all, that I let you make me feel so small. I felt insecure about myself, constantly questioning myself. (What does she have that I don’t? What can she provide that I haven’t, that I can’t? Am I not enough? Did I mean anything to him, did we mean anything to him? How can someone cry on my shoulder, express feelings that they’ve never expressed before, and instead of taking time to really unpack everything and fix/take out the things weighing them down... they just pack up and move on to someone new? What did I do wrong? ) You’re a liar. You’re charming and you’re deceitful. You’re selfish. You’re a fuckboy, the worst kind. You have everyone fooled into thinking you’re a nice guy, even yourself. Nice guys don’t treat people how you’ve treated both me and her. I wish you’d understand that. But it’s none of my concern anymore. She’s the one who’s dealing with it now. I hope she realizes soon how really ain’t shit you are. I’m sure she’s lost in the magic, and the luster, and the charm like I was. I’m sure she has the same “good guy” impression of you like I had. It’s amazing that even after she found out you slept with me she still took you back. That makes me wonder, what have you told her about you? Does she know your full truth? Or is she really that desperate for your half empty love that she’ll over look your behavior and believe your words. The foundation there, of this relationship, of this love you proclaim for her... well... that foundation is flawed. And like all small cracks under constant pressure, eventually, it’ll become a big deal and that foundation won’t hold out. I hope she gets out of your way before you feel like it’s time to destroy her, or at least try. I waited for you. Even though I said I wouldn’t. Even though I said I’d move on. I waited for you. You never showed up. Only this shell of a man... man may be too big of a word to describe you. Only this shell of a guy showed up. And I knew that, when we had dinner. I recognized that you weren’t well, you weren’t who I needed you to be still, you hadn’t changed at all... even though I worked on being more like what you needed me to be. I saw it. I saw you in all your flaws and dirt. I loved you anyway. I believed in you anyway, only for you to turn around and tell me you need to focus on someone else. It didn’t hurt that you didn’t want to focus on me or us. It hurt because that someone else you wanted to focus on was not yourself. I got burned, again. I was embarrassed that I let you hurt me again but I needed that last little kick in the ass to really make me see how ain’t shit you really are. So I guess, thank you? I sometimes wonder, do you not think you’re capable of being better? Do you not think you deserve to be better? Do you think you don’t deserve the love and compassion and grace I’ve given you? Do you even realize you can be better? Do you realize you’ve been stuck somewhere and it’s time to level up? And if you do... do you realize that you trying to be better and do better with her is at the expense of me? Can you grasp the full depth of my love for you? Do you feel embarrassed by your actions? Do you feel insecure in yourself like you’ve made me feel insecure? Are you embarrassed or ashamed of hurting me the way that you did? And if so, again, do you realize you trying to make it work with her is at the expense of me? Those were my tears, that was my anxiety, that was my mercy, that was my love, that was me pushing you to be better in love, those were my prayers. It was my heart that you broke over and over. Not hers. Do you even care at all? Does she know how you treated me, the full extent of our history and your behavior? In your relationship’s early stages if she knew all those things, would she still stick around? Is that what you need, someone who is going to let you sleep... let you be who you are now... not push you, not motivate you to change or grow? Are you comfortable with all that you are and all that you’ve done in the name of love? Do you know what Love is? Does she? Take responsibility for your actions. Acknowledge that you are hurting and have hurt multiple people in this thing. Own your shit. I pray you never get another woman in your sights, wrapped around your finger, for you to hurt again... for you to use again like you’ve used me. With all that said, there’s still no love lost here. I fear I will never stop loving you. I fear I will never stop caring. I fear I will never stop believing in you. Ultimately I fear because of this somehow, someway, it’ll bite me in the butt and I’ll be hurt and disappointed again. But still... I’m proud of myself for being able to still love and still give while aching and healing. I’m sorry you missed the God in me, you missed the light. Maybe you saw it and instead of standing tall, instead of recognizing the god in you, instead of feeding your light, you cowered away... I feel bad that you did, because I know how much of a gem I really am. I pity anyone who sleeps on me. Maybe I’m glad you did. Maybe this is good. Only time will tell.  I know I’m worth more than what are willing to offer me (I say willing because I know you have the capability)... I’m worth the most. It hurts to know either you just don’t see that, or you don’t care enough to be better, or you don’t think you’re capable or deserve growth, goodness, genuine unconditional love. I can’t control any of that, I can’t make you see what I see or believe in yourself like I have. I can’t even make you understand the depth of the pain I’ve felt and am still feeling that you caused. I can only do what is best for me, what’s going to bring me back to health. That’s what this is. I never stood up for myself, I never gave myself the grace and mercy I’ve given you. I am not the problem. You are. I did what I could, everything I could think of. You didn’t. I loved unconditionally. You didn’t do the same for me. I’m becoming the woman I always wanted to be, I’m proud of who I am and who I’m becoming. I only want for you to be able to say the same for yourself.  Keep being Lawrence if you want. Whatever makes you “happy”.... even if that’s Tasha. I won’t be wasting anymore energy thinking about it. Thinking about how ain’t shit you are and how dirty you did me. I won’t be losing anymore sleep. It’s not my burden to bare... it never was. You carry all the shame. You carry the disappointment and embarrassment. I’m not dumb, you are. I’m more than enough, you aren’t. This is not my bag to carry around, to weigh me down. It’s yours. You carry it with you. Have Tasha help you carry it if you need. It’s not my journey, it’s not my problem. This pain I’ve felt, these insecurities, are not a reflection of me, they’re a reflection of you. Be who you say you are, or own up to the fact that you’ve fallen incredibly short of the man everyone believes you to be, even yourself. Figure out where you are, who you are, and own it. Then figure out who it is you want to be exactly, not what everyone wants or expects you to be, and make it happen. Grow the hell up. Seriously.

--Pretty Bird