#and ultimately each of those playgrounds have different toys!

[lunar-years]

obviously Jamie not being in season 4 would suck mostly because I simply want Jamie to be there and to get more of his story and get to enjoy more interactions between Jamie and the other characters. At the end of the day though, I can just not watch s4, which I'm perfectly okay with.

what sucks EVEN MORE to me, and is far harder to avoid, is that not having Jamie in the show totally changes the *canon* of the character in a way that will inevitably bleed over into fan spaces, regardless of whether or not I'm actively watching. However they write him out (I assume it would just be having him go to another team) becomes the new "Jamie Tartt canon." And that small thing totally changes his story and we don't even get to see it play out! When i was perfectly happy playing in my sandbox of a million equally valid possibilities.

[97keanu]

" ᵗʰᵉʸ ˢᵃʸ ⁱᵗˢ ᵐᵉ ʷʰᵒ ᵐᵃᵏᵉˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ"

Dave Lizewski x demonic!reader

Premise: Jennifer's Body x Kick Ass cross over (request). A 10 chapter event of Nerdy Dave who has been best friends with You since diapers, the two of you inseparable, your feelings for each other hidden, unknown outside of the deepest friendship.

In this chapter, we detail the end and the beginning, where it all started and where we are now. Dave and You go to Devil's Kettle High School, You the flag teams captain, Dave, the schools resident shy, nerdy loser.

Were setting the players and starting the game in this chapter.

Read on ao3 here! Part two here read part three here

Word Count: 2.3k

Chapter:1/10

Tags: nerdy!Dave, mean girl!reader, popular!reader, demonic!reader, evil!reader, toxic!reader, yandere!reader, angst, soul connection, red string of fate coded, childhood friends to something more?, childhood friends to enemies, best friends who want more, oblivious Dave who can't imagine that he likes you more than a friend not because he doesn't like you but because why would you, the most popular girl in school ever want him x reader who is obviously pining and flirting, jealous!reader, Dom!reader sub!dave more to come in later chapters.

Chapter One:

"It Feels Like the Start of a Movie I've Seen Before..."

Blood. That's what is in all of us. A pounding, viscous liquid that sustains us all. And here it is, running out of you, as you're tied to this rock, under the light of the moon and a shitty vans headlights pooling onto your terrified form. You're going to die. You know it, the real evil stands over you wearing the face of a boy band member, chuckling about all of this, ready to drive the knife in. You're the perfect "virginal" sacrifice to them and their free ticket to stardom. A flash comes across the 20 something's eyes, perhaps he's seeing Hollywood and fame inside your heaving chest. So close, he has to rip it out to get to it. His band mates cheer him on, as the horror of this night drags on long past what the rest of the town of Devil's Kettle will ever know. The falls beside you roar and drown out any pathetic screams you can muster from your bound mouth. 

Yes, you are going to die here. 

But before all this, you were different. Years before, going back now. You were 5, and he…He was the cutest boy on the playground, with those huge bright blue eyes and a messy mop of curly brown hair. Back then, everyone gushed over Dave, calling him the sweetest boy on the block. You, well, you were cute too, but your wild and vicious spirit overwhelmed any childhood beauty. 

Still, it was then that you walked up to him with such confidence, the need to talk to him so strong. You don't even know why, but what you do know is that he and you are going to be friends. Best friends. 

And you were, from that day on. Ever since you uttered a childish "You're going to come play with me!" Which was never a question, no your dominance was always there from the start, and it was Dave's ultimate weakness. He was head over heels from the minute you pulled his little hand over to the sandbox and began to show him all your toys. Or perhaps the connection really started when you reached into your little refurbished lunchbox serving as a toy bin, and pulled out a bloody thumb. Your little face was scrunched up with confusion on such a pain, never having felt it before like this. 

And Dave, well, Dave was already reaching out for your hand, pulling it up, up, up…

He stuck your thumb right into his mouth and sucked off the blood, the copper taste funny and strange. He has no idea why he did it. Maybe because that's what he always did when he scraped his own hand, and it was the only way his little boy brain could think of to fix the situation. Maybe he was curious about the taste. Who's to say. 

Either way, since then you two had an unbreakable bond. No matter how much everyone eyes the two of you, an unlikely pair. You, who as a kid was said to be a bad influence on sweet little Dave. You, the now popular head of the flag team at Devil's Kettle High School, and the nerdy, shy Dave, still going strong with Friday night sleepovers despite the world looking on and shaking its head. Yes, it's true.

Sandbox love never dies…

✧✧✧

The early spring air brushes through your window as you lay in bed, completely comfortable in a pair of small black shorts that say PINK in giant varsity letters and a tank top with no bra around Dave Lizewski. It's 2009 and you are watching Evil Dead 2 with your best friend in the whole world for the umpteenth time. You love the way you can relax around him. No other boy at school would let you sit next to them on a bed, alone, and not try to be all over you. Even if you two cuddle sometimes it never feels like he would make an unwanted move on you, or any move for that matter. 

He's your most trusted ally, the person who knows some of your deepest secrets and still comes over and lets you put face masks on him and braid his hair. He lets you do anything with him, despite all the highschool typical rumors about him being your gay best friend. 

You know that's not true, you used to even play boyfriend and girlfriend together, before you got old enough that it started being weird. 

No, Dave's just the kind, sweet boy from down the street who has always been there for you. He played doctor and patched up your knees when you scraped them in the woods behind your houses, running wild as children do. He was there for you when your dad left your mom, and reversely, you were there for him when his mom left his dad two years later. You had a bond that you couldn't explain to anyone else. Sometimes it was like Dave was there before you even told him that you were hurt or upset. He often came through your bedroom window, climbing up the viney terrace outside, and slipping in to your aid. He wiped away the mascara coated tears and held your hand.

Dave was like your own personal savior. He was Heavensent, an angel sent in a nerdy teenage boy's body. He didn't act at all like the other boys at school, even when your mom warned you that all men are pigs and that you can never trust any of them. You know she was somewhat right, after your dad cheated you couldn't bear the thought of ever loving a boy. Even as the countless boys at school asked you out, you never felt that anger and disgust you had for them towards Dave. He was just different. He was soft, he was caring, he was kind, and best of all he made you laugh, rolling on his bed together until your stomach cramped and your face hurt from laughing.  He was, well, Dave.  And it was in sophomore year that you realized you might actually love Dave. You were at the winter ball, getting crowned The Snowflake Queen, something your mom was when she was in highschool, and something you found yourself desperately wanting as time went on. The prestige, the attention, you couldn't help but crave it. But standing up there next to Logan Turner, the massive lugheaded jock as your "king", while Dave sat in his too big tux in the crowd, cheering you on. You found you wished it was him standing next to you. And you knew then, that it was always Dave, and it couldn't ever be anyone else. You were fucked from then on. There was even a strange month where you were coming to terms with these new feelings and could hardly stand to be in the same room as Dave without being turned on, embarrassed of your want of him.  That's when he met Todd and Marty, two much more disgusting, nerdy boys. You hated Todd and Marty. You hated them more because they egged Dave on to get a girlfriend, trying to hook him on any girl at school to gush over, since that's what they did all day besides jerking off at home alone. Dave wasn't the type to fall into all of that, at least you thought so until what he begins to tell you tonight.  The two of you are laying in your soft pink bed, your room totally girly just how you like it, Dave laying his head on your favorite plushie. He looks over at you, pushing his glasses up as they get scrunched on the half of his face cuddled up to your pink covers, his blue eyes excited but serious. "Hey, can I tell you something?" He says, his usual shy and somewhat stuttering speech patterns hardly ever a problem around you.  "Sure, what's on your mind, Dave?" You say, your faces are so close on the bed. It's been two years since your breakdown, figuring out your feelings for Dave and pushing them down, but even still this moment starts to feel intimate. You even wonder if he will ask…? 

The next words out of his mouth make you feel as if your soul has plummeted to your gut while trying to claw its way out. 

"You remember that girl, Katie from Bio III?" And he seems so excited to tell you about it. That's the worst part.  You can imagine her in your head, and at the same time you can imagine wrapping your pretty pink manicured hands around her throat until she turns a lovely shade of purple. The anger you feel is like morphine, hot, rushing through your body, then turning into a dull numbness. You know you can't show any of these feelings, so your glossy lips feign a smile and you nod your pretty little head to attempt to match Dave's energy. 

"Katie…! Yeah, I remember her." You say forcibly.

"Yeah, well I was thinking about asking her out sometime…" He continues to speak about the how's, why's, and how nervous he is to tell her, but all you hear is a dull ringing in your ears, the fake smile you learned to keep up from your mom showing the whole time.  You can't believe this. Mousey Katie over you. Have you not done your best to be everything for Dave? It's like you've been friendzoned but that doesn't happen to hot girls like you.  All you know is you have to stop Dave from asking her out by any means possible.

✧✧✧

You've been steaming all day, simmering like a pot left on the stove for too long, forgotten attention since Dave has been flustered Katie. Of course your exterior is perfect, popular you. Dave has no clue how badly his admission last Friday affected you, why would he? It's not like you've ever even really let him know how you truly feel. Sure, you teased him, playfully hit him in the arm until you bordered on going too far, pinned him to your bed in endless pillow fights until the feathers settled down around the two of you before you ever did. You had no way of knowing how to tell him without telling him more than this, and there's no way you're just going to come out and say it. In class all you can think about is how you straddled him on Friday, and teased about his crush to save face. You were all energy, Dave staring up at you with his big blue eyes oblivious to your hurt, telling you to quit making fun of him for liking a girl with a smile. You couldn't help but feel your stomach clench in different ways, your thighs positioned on either side of his lap making you want him, but the thought of him liking Katie burning a hole instead. Dave never even thought of you as an option of the girls he could have chosen, that much was clear. And it killed you to think about.  Now you're at your locker when you see Dave walking towards you. You two usually meet now to take lunch, but your heart falls out of your body and splats gorey on the linoleum when he passes by you with a small wave on his way towards Katie at her locker. The inside of your mouth feels hot and your spine runs cold.  He walks over there to that dumb little brunette, nervously trying to get the idea of taking her out for a date. You will not allow this. You slam your locker and strut over there, your heels clicking and Dave's eyes sliding to you as you approach.  "Well, K-Katie I, Well, I was wondering if um, you maybe wanted to go, go out this Friday…?" He's finishing when you approach, speaking up before Katie can respond.  "Yeah! There's a band playing at Melody Lane and a bunch of us are going, it would be so totes cool if you came with us as, like, a group, Katie!" You are all popular, valley girl talk, making Katie think she's being asked to hang out with you more than Dave.

Her eyes light up, the idea of getting closer with a cool girl like you exciting her way more than going out with Dave. "She doesn't even deserve you.." You think in response.  "Yeah, I had asked Dave here to ask you for me!" You continue, touching Katie's arm as if you two are like, totally besties!, yuck... Dave starts to stutter out to correct the situation, but the bell rings and Katie is nodding in agreement to your proposal already. "Awesome! I'll like, totally text you the deets." You say with a fake smile and squeeze on her arm while she's walking away. As soon as she's out of earshot Dave is chiding you, one of the few times he's actually mad at you.  "Hey! What was that about, you knew I liked her?" You turn to see his eyes searching yours for some sort of truth, that you didn't do that to just sabotage him. You place a loving hand on his chest.  "Oh Dave, please. You were floundering, I saved you!" You bat your long, dark lashes at him with a heart melting grin you know will win him over. "I'm, like, the best wingman, and you should be, like, thanking me right now, actually."  "I…well…I guess she did confirm she's coming this Friday…" He admits, his voice softening to the Dave you love and know.  "See? Worked out perfectly…" You say and walk away towards lunch, knowing Dave will be in tow. Now, the question is how will you finish off this little crush of his?

✧✧✧

[catalogmains]

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[keyofjetwolf]

We’re All Just Guys

Well it took the entire fucking season, but I FINALLY get the purpose for Henry Fondle: Sex Robot. And while the entire episode (and season, honestly) has been tremendous, that this ridiculous fucking punchline was the vehicle to deliver the overarching point with a solid knockout punch of meaning AND pathos? Absolutely floored. That BoJack Horseman can be (and often is) brilliant isn’t a surprise, but the ways is keeps proving it often are.

So “The Stopped Show”, a tale of accountability and responsibility and how we’re all just guys.

Each of our main characters closes out this season alone (sort of), in assorted stages of realizing the main themes, or completely failing to. I find Diane’s arc the hardest for me to make a decision on, which isn’t surprising, as I think in many ways, Diane’s the most complicated character in the show. She delivers, directly and succinctly, one of the major points of not just this season but the entire show, but how does it relate to her? I’M NOT COMPLETELY SURE. I think part of the problem with (and for) Diane is that she knows better. She’s the most insightful character, she has a fantastic head on her shoulders, but only for everyone else. She’s this fucked up little disaster prophet, her vision clear and her message concise, unable to ever apply her gifts to fix herself.

Diane is just as trapped as BoJack, but in a fun twist, is now lagging behind him in trying to do something about it. Nearly every single scene with Diane this season has been in this sad little room of her sad little apartment with all her sad little unpacked boxes, and no matter how much truth and wisdom she spits out, HERE SHE STILL IS, failing to correctly assemble IKEA furniture with names like Bȧcksleid. She already feels like shit for sleeping with Mr. Peanutbutter, so what does she do? THE SAME FUCKING THING. To which I groan and roll my eyes, while simultaneously being proud of her for directly and immediately setting him straight about not getting back together. Diane rides this constant line where she gets it but also doesn’t, which is so interesting to me in the level of additional frustration this makes me feel. BoJack is so self-absorbed you don’t really expect any better of him, which has the flip side of your expectations being so low that even the whiff of progress feels exceptional. Diane doesn’t come with any of that though, she knows better, you KNOW she knows better, and the consequence of this for the audience is that she winds up being more unlikeable than the guy who literally last episode nearly strangled his girlfriend and co-star in the middle of a paranoid drug-induced frenzy.

Which is fucked up! It’s intensely fucked up! And also, I think, the point! We expect more of Diane, and so feel more disappointed when she doesn’t deliver. Is that fair of us?

But there’s more here, as we pivot to the accountability portion of this episode/season. From the beginning of the show, it’s been incredibly upfront about how everything is unfair. We come back to this time and again. Privilege rules the day in the world of Hollywoo. Fame, money, charisma, gender, power. BoJack has been an asshole from pretty much the moment he set foot in the spotlight (possibly before?), and the only thing ever even attempting to hold him back has been the moments his guilt manages to scream loud enough to be heard over his internal narrative. Whatever he does, however he fucks up, he always stumbles back to his feet, and NEVER with any (broad scale) consequences. Meanwhile, here’s Diane, in her sad shitty apartment. Consequences haunt Diane, even if she’s the one doing the haunting. The crap things she’s done and the shitty choices she’s made cling to her.

There’s no fairness in that either, no justice. But Hollywoo (and the entire world around it) (and our world too oh yes) has that privilege carved into its bones, and Diane bears none of its marks. Her situation is very different from but parallel to Gina, who is just so fucked over, it keeps legitimately making me angry for her.

Gina, of course, brought none of this on herself. She made the mistake of caring about BoJack and trying to help him. OOPS YOU WERE A GENEROUS PERSON WITH AN OPEN HEART FUCK YOU LADY. For her trouble, Gina has been assaulted and traumatized, AND she is in very real danger of her career being over when it’s only just finally beginning. And she KNOWS THIS. That’s the part that I keep coming back to. All this should be an aberration, an anomaly, and while that may be true of the specifics, conceptually, it’s so commonplace that Gina already knows how it’s going to play. She’ll stop being Gina and become The Woman Nearly Strangled To Death By BoJack Horseman. Even if she’s able to keep working, this is what she’ll be asked about in every interview forever. Even if she convinced people to genuinely listen to her, BoJack would, at worst, get a slap on the wrist as he stumbles back to his feet. We know that, WE ALL KNOW THAT, because it happens all. the. fucking. time. Gina did nothing wrong, but this would still define her for the rest of her life, while for BoJack, it would maybe become a footnote on his Wikipedia page.

Nothing about that is FAIR. Nothing about it is JUST. Gina’s choices shouldn’t have to be “this becomes my entire life” or “swallow this down and pretend it never happened”. But it is, as it has been in perpetuity for the victims of the privileged.

So then what can we do about it? Well that’s really the question, isn’t it? This episode answers it in an assortment of ways (I think the entire SHOW is very much about this, really, but this episode is for sure coming with guns blazing), while also showing us why none of those answers can work. It’s funny and sad and awful and true, but also, ultimately, the most hopeful answer because it’s the only one you can actually affect: It’s you. It’s me. It’s each and every one of us, individually, making a choice to be better.

And believe it or not, we embody this with Henry Fondle: Sex Robot.

I thought the whole thing was so unbelievably stupid. Half the season, we’ve had this goddamn multi-dildo’d juvenile frat boy joke running around with its stupid ass Speak-and-Say voice, doing the same shtick over and over, and I’m like, “okay this is just the shit I have to put up with to get the clever stuff, I guess.” BUT THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT I’M SITTING THERE LIVING THE ENTIRE GODDAMN POINT AND MISSING IT. Henry Fondle: Sex Robot is seventeen shades of overt horribleness, AND WE ALL JUST GIVE IT A PASS. It’s just the way it is, the way the world works, the price of doing business. When the whole time -- THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME -- all it took was one person to say no. One person who could see the game we all are playing and was willing to give up everything to stop it.

Hilariously, Henry Fondle IS a metaphor, sort of, but of the saddest kind. He is literally a robot, he can’t possibly change. What’s more, media fervor will never affect him, fallout will never touch him, and the powerful will always rally around themselves to retain their power. It takes Todd, the head of the company, the creator of Henry Fondle, and the one person who would benefit most from the unending efforts of the rest of the world bending over backwards to avoid the truth, to put a stop to it. In doing so, he immediately returns to his old, homeless, destitute self, but doesn’t once hesitate or look back.

It’s Todd, and only Todd, that stops that madness, because while individual people are a problem, the world at large is too. Stefani makes a great point that Diane holds herself and everyone else to impossible standards and a little forgiveness and grace wouldn’t go amiss, but when Diane suggests they apply that philosophy to their clickbait gossipy shit on their website, it’s just

Which again, is beautifully cynical and depressing, but not untrue. Fostering a more forgiving culture isn’t in stopping websites from posting clickbaity takedown articles, it’s each person deciding not to take the clickbait. We can absolutely have a conversation about the people creating their world or the world creating its people, but when you boil it down, only one of those things can you yourself absolutely and directly change, and it’s not the entire world.

A THING DIANE GETS BUT SIMULTANEOUSLY ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT.

I can’t take myself away from this Diane thing, I know, but only because she’s the fucking CORE of each and every one of us struggling with this idea. She’s the simplicity of it and the complication all in one. Not BoJack, which is NOT where I thought we’d be when we started this journey. BoJack is more an action on the people around him at this point in the story, he IS the world you cannot change. He’s pointed to rehab, and off he goes -- or doesn’t! I don’t think it’s coincidence that we stay with Diane and watch her watching him.

Oh, Diane, indeed. As she tells her story of her friend Abby, who threw her over for the cool kids, who turned every confidence into a scar. Who Diane still helped anyway, because Abby needed her. Did Abby learn from that, did she get better? We don’t know; we stay with Diane and watch her watching Abby. Diane, who can so completely understand about personal responsibility while failing to recognize her own enabling for the shitty things that keep happening to her.

You can control yourself. That’s it. That’s the only playground with a guarantee.

Will BoJack go off to learn that? Will Diane stay and figure it out?

THAT’S WHAT NEXT SEASON IS FOR

Something I was toying with including in this, but ultimately decided against for a variety of reasons, was the contrast between BoJack’s take on personal responsibility independent of external response, and The Good Place’s argument that people need external support for personal growth. An idea I may not have even considered contrasting save that Doc’s talked before about these two Jewish creators with what are clearly very different philosophies, and basically, if she were ever able to manage a discussion between them on this, I’d love to be in the room. I’ll be very quiet and not get in the way, I promise.

[youonlyzingonce]

Dec 18, 2020

😞😞😞 I miss you & love you Riker. More than you will ever know my son...  And I always will. Nothing will ever change that, you will always be my son

Not a day goes by, since that very 1st day I met you & Savanah, on March 2nd 2015, that I don't think about you both. Every single day, since that 1st day you're well-being was my primary concern, your mom being my second & mine being last. Every single day, since that 1st day I've prayed to God about you both. Praying that he watches over you, protects you, to keep you from harm & out of harm's way, & Id thank him for bringing both into my life

Daily I find myself reminiscing & remembering all the fun that we would share together each day. Between cooking breakfast together each morning, after dropping my mom off at either work or school. we'd start our day watching educational shows on KPBS..

Then we'd going to the library & I'd watch you play with the Thomas the train train set they had. Then picking out the books that we would read together later that night before bed. After leaving the library we would always go to the park for 45 minutes to an hour or so.

You'd be running around, exploring everything, wanting me to push you on the swing.  Always wanting to go just a little bit higher. But then a glimpse of almost terror would momentarily occupy your face because you were just a little bit scared cuz it was just a little bit too high. But you also knew that I would protect you & keep you safe, so you loved every minute of it.

Then seeing you getting so excited & curious when you saw other little kids. You're such a kind loving soul that you always went up other kids spending your knees a little bit as you dipped your head to say hi to them. God that was so adorable to watch. As more often than not, they would be a couple of years older then you were. So as they would run off to enjoy the playground with their siblings or friends, you would be left behind. But then you'd start chasing after them like a game of tag & begin laughing your head off loving every minute

You would run around so much & exhaust yourself, so usually before we even got back home you would already be asleep, then be knocked out for the next 2-3 hours. Which I'd spend cleaning up our bedroom, putting away your toys, doing the laundry, doing household chores, applying for jobs or looking for the house I would rent for us

Now, here I sit alone, without your rambunctious laughter echoing the Halls. Your mom's choices she made, that ultimately destroyed our family that we had. Here I sit alone wondering, what new things you're learning? Or thinking back to when you were younger & we'd watch KPBS in the mornings, getting up & stomping our feet together, to that great foot stomping Transylvania beat. Because the count, on sesame Street, was both of our favorite ☺️☺️. Wondering now, what shows you're watching? Wondering what captivates your attention?

Wondering if you still have a passion & love for reading, that I instilled in you when you were a baby. As reading was always our thing we did together every single day. With your favorite books being oh the places You'll go number one which I read you on repeat every single day because you would always shove the book back in my face saying "again, again, again!" Your next favorite was Mike Mulligan & his steam shovel Mary ann. I don't think anything made you happier or made you focus more than us reading together. You were so content & happy cuddled up in my arms, as I read using a different voice for different characters. With books like oh the places You would even  smile in anticipation for the next page because you knew what was going to happen lol because we read certain books so many times

There was so much I wanted to do with you & your mom, but at that time I was limited because of finances and your age that kept us from doing those things. So my plan had been to wait till you were a little bit older to do them. These were things like: doing camping trips together, taking road trips, going to amusement parks, sitting at the dinner table as a family and pray before we eat, having family game nights, teaching you to ride a bike & play sports

And yes what's your mom did and chose to continue to do and then destroying our family devastated me. But what continues to hurt and cause me pain, is thinking about all the things in your life that I'll miss out on being a part of. Your first day at school, helping you with homework, watching you play sports, helping you get ready for your first date, cheering you up after your first breakup, teaching you to drive, helping you to pick out colleges, watching you walk across the stage as you graduate high school, helping you pack to leave for college, watching you graduate college, being there for when you get married, just being there for you. But I won't ever now get to do any of those things, as much as I would love to & it kills me

You would run around so much & exhaust yourself, so usually before we even got back home you would already be asleep, then be knocked out for the next 2-3 hours. Which I'd spend cleaning up our bedroom, putting away your toys, doing the laundry, doing household chores, applying for jobs or looking for the house I would rent for us.

Now, here I sit alone, without your rambunctious laughter echoing the Halls. Your mom's choices she made, that ultimately destroyed our family that we had. Here I sit alone wondering, what new things you're learning? Or thinking back to when you were younger & we'd watch KPBS in the mornings, getting up & stomping our feet together, to that great foot stomping Transylvania beat. Because the count, on sesame Street, was both of our favorite ☺️☺️. Wondering now, what shows you're watching? Wondering what captivates your attention?

Wondering if you still have a passion & love for reading, that I instilled in you when you were a baby. As reading was always our thing we did together every single day. With your favorite books being oh the places You'll go number one which I read you on repeat every single day because you would always shove the book back in my face saying "again, again, again!" Your next favorite was Mike Mulligan & his steam shovel Mary ann. I don't think anything made you happier or made you focus more than us reading together. You were so content & happy cuddled up in my arms, as I read using a different voice for different characters. With books like oh the places You would even  smile in anticipation for the next page because you knew what was going to happen lol because we read certain books so many times

There was so much I wanted to do with you & your mom, but at that time I was limited because of finances and your age that kept us from doing those things. So my plan had been to wait till you were a little bit older to do them. These were things like: doing camping trips together, taking road trips, going to amusement parks, sitting at the dinner table as a family and pray before we eat, having family game nights, teaching you to ride a bike & play sports

And yes what's your mom did and chose to continue to do and then destroying our family devastated me. But what continues to hurt and cause me pain, is thinking about all the things in your life that I'll miss out on being a part of. Your first day at school, helping you with homework, watching you play sports, helping you get ready for your first date, cheering you up after your first breakup, teaching you to drive, helping you to pick out colleges, watching you walk across the stage as you graduate high school, helping you pack to leave for college, watching you graduate college, being there for when you get married, just being there for you. But I won't ever now get to do any of those things, as much as I would love to & it kills me.

[prince-claremont-diaz]

from outside looking in

An introspection into isolation, finding yourself and finding your people.

Or essentially, a stream of consciousness about Arthur's life leading up to the events of the season 5 trailer.

Warnings: internalised homophobia, general angst

Word count: 2.4k

Ao3 version

Yes, I wrote an Arthur fic because why the fuck not

For as long as he could remember, Arthur had felt like an outsider. When he was little, he used to play with his action figures alone on the playground, launching them off the swings or scrambling up trees and slides to pretend he was way up high in outer space, simply looking down at the rest of the world. He read comics and books and kept to himself for the most part. As he grew up, his classmates laughed at him for his 'toys' and 'picture books', on one occasion going so far as to flush one of his comics down a toilet. He knew there was something about him that generally kept others away from him, knew he didn't quite act or feel like the rest of them.

Like an alien sent right from one of his stories.

When Arthur first met Basile, however, it was the first time he felt like he belonged.

They met when they were 10 years old, when Basile transferred to his school after moving to the area. Arthur remembered the day vividly. It was the first day back at school and his dad had dropped him off on his way to work early, so he was one of the only kids that had arrived yet. He had been sitting alone at his new desk, flicking through his Hawkeye comic, idly glancing at the other kids chatting at another table when the door to the classroom unceremoniously burst open. With a tiny, high pitch yelp, somebody stumbled into the room, nearly taking out another desk on their descent to the floor. Arthur put his comic down as he watched the newcomer, who had wild curly black hair, getting awkwardly to his feet.

The now familiar bright grin immediately met Arthur from across the room. Dressed in an ill fitting Star Wars t-shirt and sporting a too-big orange backpack, the new boy immediately started walking over to Arthur, ignoring the jeers of the other classmates. He stopped in front of Arthur's desk and held out a marker-covered hand, grinning. "Hi! I'm Basile! But you can call me Baz! I like your comic, too. Can I sit here?" the boy babbled away, already sitting down in the seat opposite Arthur.

Arthur had nodded, his own wide grin melting over his face. "Thanks! I like your shirt!" he exclaimed, pointing at the other boy's t-shirt.

And from then on, Arthur had one other person in his life to keep him company.

For a while, Arthur tried to ignore most of the other people around him. He had Baz, so why should he care about everyone else? Why should he worry about the rest when he was playing video games or watching movies or discussing comic books with his best friend? It was easy to brush away the comments about his glasses or his comics if he just focused on the person that actually liked him. Baz was virtually the only person he cared about and he cared enough for the rest of the planet.

But as he got older, the retorts became harder and harder to let go. The name calling turned from "Four eyes" to whatever slurs they could come up with, chasing him down with jeers and taunts he had no choice but to listen to. Flushing his comics or throwing his action figures turned into pushing him into the lockers or throwing things at him.

It is almost impossible to ignore what stares you right in the face, after all.

The question of "am I gay?" swirled around Arthur's mind for years. Whenever he caught himself looking at Baz for too long or caring a bit too much about a male character, the smallest of voices wondered somewhere in the back of his head whether it was true. Was he gay? Or did everyone else look at their friends the way Arthur did with Baz?

His browsing history was meticulously deleted, all of his secrets hidden away in the depths of the internet where no one else would ever find them. He never lingered long on websites, always sure to keep safer tabs open should someone come into his room without warning. He only ever searched up the burning question or scrolled through the endless chat rooms in the dead of night, looking for the answers in the depth of internet forums and 12 question quizzes. He felt like he was on some quest to find an answer that he was simply keeping from himself, never fully allowing himself the truth.

Soon enough, Arthur couldn't handle it anymore. He hated himself when he caught himself daydreaming about his close friend, cursed himself for being a 'pervert'. He wasn't gay, surely. He'd had crushes on girls, after all. That meant he was straight, right?

Instead of acting on anything or letting himself even look at Baz, Arthur hid away. He spent his lunch periods in the school library, avoiding his friend in the halls in favour of keeping his nose tucked into the latest comic books. He took the long way to and from school to avoid walking the same way as Basile, ducking through side streets and crossing the street with abandon. Whenever Baz tried to talk to him, he shrugged him off, insisting he was busy with school work. His heart raced every time he saw the dark curls at the other end of the hall going to class, dread overflowing his body like a broken tap, shoving him into the corner of the hallway to avoid being seen by his friend.

It is agony to avoid the unavoidable magnetic pull of longing.

"Arthur? Can we talk?"

It had been in the middle of November, the wind unusually violent and unforgiving, rattling the windows of the small cafeteria. Arthur was sitting at one of the big circular tables by himself, poking half heartedly at his lunch, feeling light years away from the rest of the tables in the room. When he looked up to his name, his heart dropped as he made eye contact with a pair of familiar, sad brown eyes standing over him. Arthur had never seen Baz looking so forlorn, like a kicked puppy, clutching his green lunch bag with an iron grip.

Before he could dismiss him, Baz dropped into the seat next to him, dropping his lunch onto the table and pulling out his food. "Baz, what are you—" he had started, glancing over at the sandwich in an attempt to avoid looking up into those damn eyes.

"You're avoiding me," Basile blurted, "Why? I thought we were friends." Arthur glanced up finally, feeling his face flush at the look Baz was giving him. His eyebrows were knitted together and his bottom lip trembled in a frown like Arthur had never seen.

"We are friends," he insisted, "And I'm not avoiding you. I've just been busy."

"You won't even look at me anymore," Baz whined, taking a bite of his sandwich. "I know I'm not the smartest–everyone always reminds me–but I can tell you've been avoiding me for weeks. Just tell me why and I'll leave you alone for good."

But Arthur couldn't tell Basile why he had been avoiding him. He could barely admit to himself just why he felt the need to avoid the only person who had ever made him feel less alone. Deep down, he knew exactly why he forced himself to look away, forced himself to stay away.

But despite this, Basile was his best friend. Neither of them had any other friends besides each other and in his pathetic self-isolation to avoid his own feelings which were staring right at him, Arthur had ultimately abandoned Baz. Baz, who had treated him with nothing but kindness since the day he literally fell right into Arthur's life. Baz, who liked the same things as him and let him talk about his silly fantasies and hobbies. Baz, who never ever judged him for anything at all.

"I'm sorry," Arthur had said that day, swallowing back tears and forcing himself to look into those bright brown eyes he loved yet hurt him so much. "I-I can't explain why, but I'm sorry for avoiding you. You of all people don't deserve that."

No matter what, Arthur knew he couldn't just leave Basile just because he couldn't handle his own feelings. And so, he stopped avoiding Baz. He let them go back to normal, going over to each other's houses to play video games or rewatch movies, bickering about their favourite characters over lunch. He talked to Basile about the pretty girls in their school and let Basile plot out his futures with them, pretending he didn't think it was futile. He vowed to never let his emotions get the best of him. He prioritised their friendship over whether or not he did in fact have a crush on Baz. They had more important things to worry about like going to Lycée in a few months and going to a new school again. It did not matter if he thought Basile's eyes looked nice the way they seemed to glow in the sunlight or his desire to touch his hair or hug him. What mattered was that Baz was still his friend, despite him acting like a dick for weeks.

When they went off to Lycée together, picking different classes from each other, of course their dynamic changed slightly. That had been expected. They no longer shared as many classes together or had time to just play video games together. Basile talked and talked and talked about the hot girls in the years above or the girls he was crushing on for weeks, hardly seeming to notice that Arthur never contributed more than advice and support. They both made friends in other classes, spending more time with them than each other.

Slowly, as Arthur got more used to his new school and new people everywhere, he started to feel better about himself. Sure, he was still a bit of a nobody, mostly drifting from group to group, never quite a part of things. But he still had Basile and he liked his classes enough to get by.

One night, buried beneath his bedsheets, Arthur stumbled upon an article which changed his entire life. Hunched over his laptop, scrolling through the billionth website that night, his jaw dropped. His heart hammered against his chest, blood rushing past his ears and a gasp falling from his lips as he read.

Bisexuality is the sexual or romantic attraction to both men and women or to two or more genders.

With this newfound knowledge, Arthur continued to keep it private. He held the word deep inside his chest, locked away for safekeeping, only to be released in the darkest of nights. He whispered it to himself in the mirror, muffled by the rushing water of the sink, shrouded by the midnight stars twinkling above. He saw blue and purple and pink in everything, in every sunrise and sunset, in every rainbow and article, allowing himself only the smallest of glances. He kept the word safe from the rest of the world, blanketing it and boxing it away with the rest of his old yet sacred possessions.

Even as he kept his secret to himself, he slowly, gradually learned to accept himself. He wasn't wrong for how he felt. He allowed himself to be closer, to reach out and touch, to tease and to smile. He no longer held back as much, caving into his near constant desire to touch. And Baz didn't seem to mind, so what was the harm?

In their second year of lycée, he and Basile befriended Lucas and Yann. He sat next to Lucas in a few of his classes, sharing jokes about their teachers or whispering about the homework. Yann was also a delight, teaching him to skateboard and always lending a helping hand.

Arthur even befriended Alexia, whom he was forced to sit next to in Biology. She was a whirlwind with colourful hair and a friendly smile, making jokes left and right, sending his heart out the window. She was caring and energetic, far more intelligent than he was and beautiful.

Of course, Arthur couldn't stay away from his sexuality forever. When his close friend Lucas came out as gay and suddenly he had a new pansexual friend from the year above, Eliott, it was unavoidable to think about. Alexia talked about being bi often as well, making his whole face flush violently every time. Sexuality and attraction were common topics of conversation in their friend group these days.

When Alexia kissed him on the dance floor at Daphné's party, Arthur felt his entire body erupt at every nerve ending, a force so powerful he could taste static. It was the softest and the shortest of kisses, but it felt like belonging. Arthur could barely believe his luck, holding on tighter to her like he would lose her if he wasn't careful. For weeks afterwards, through flirting and teasing, Arthur fell harder and harder for her, finally getting the guts to kiss her again at Imane's party. And she had kissed him right back.

With Alexia, Arthur no longer felt the need to hide or to repress. He could be open and honest with her, knowing she wouldn't judge him. He no longer felt constantly on edge because of the potential disaster of Baz finding out about his feelings or of the potential reaction of their friends, seeing how they had reacted to Lucas and Eliott. Alexia was special and she liked him for who he was and Arthur could only thank the universe every time he had the luck to even be in her presence.

And now, as he was dancing the night away, preparing to count down to yet another year, yet another decade, Arthur looked around the crowded room. He looked at his gorgeous girlfriend Alexia as she danced with Daphné and Imane and he looked at Lucas and Eliott so captivated and entangled together. He looked at Yann and Emma jumping around as they talked and he turned to Baz as he moved closer. They danced together briefly, smiling, closer than his younger self would ever have imagined.

He looked through the blinding white strobe lights and the flood of blue, grinning around at his friends. He thought back to his entire life and as he looked around the room, he felt a lot less like an outsider than before.

[kpopisamood]

Queen’s Clan { 14 }

Summary: y/n is plagued by nightmares. She realizes that the more she runs away, the less frequently they haunt her. However, in running away, she’s also running straight into her ultimate demise. Will she be saved in time by those who would lay down their lives for her, even if they don’t know of each other’s existence?

Monsta X/Reader, Human/Vampire(s), Reverse Harem

Warnings: light smut?, violence, language

Word count: 2.77k

Tag list: @noonaduck @lovinggalaxies @elenaramos1 @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @snowythellama @stargazersara @luvthatleader-nim @sugasheart @vincent-stargogh

***

You’re a badass. You can do this. This will be a piece of cake. A walk in the park. An easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy—

“My god, Y/N, chill out before you sweat through your dress. I just had it rush delivered and you’re not about to embarrass yourself tonight.” Miss Kudrow reprimanded, tightening up the corset that surrounded your dark evening gown. You would think the appalling garment would go underneath it all, but no, apparently that was the in style dress code for Queens nowadays.

The evening gown was a deep red, fitting for the irony of the situation. It plunged down a decent amount in front and back, showcasing all the goods without revealing too much and was floor length. You had just about begged Miss Kudrow to let you wear any sort of flats, but she insisted on throwing “lemme stab ya” heels in your face and giving you a dirty look until you tried putting them on.

This, of course, was all done behind closed doors and sounded like you were being tortured to the boys who would worriedly pace back and forth in front of your door every so often. You’d been in there for hours and any time they knocked or asked to come in, Miss Kudrow would screech at them.

All while getting your hair and makeup ready, she quizzed you on all the Royals and mannerisms you had to take on around certain ones. You’d probably gotten over half right and you were about to pat yourself on the back, if not for her chastising you to study more.

When you’d finally been deemed dolled up enough, Miss Kudrow has guided you out the door and down the stairs, immediately surrounded by your Clan.

“You look beautiful, My Queen.”

“Absolutely ravishing.”

“Fuck.”

All of these comments left their lips, causing a slight blush to spread across your cheeks as you smiled at them in return. They’d looked amazing as well, all adorning their versions of suits complete with bow ties and multi-colored roses in their front pockets.

Shownu had a classic black tux, finished off with a black rose, his hair neatly slicked back. Minhyuk wore a deep gray suit, with a pink rose and hair combed straight. Wonho had a dark suit, almost black from how deep blue it was, with a teal rose, his hair straightened. Jooheon wore a similar black suit to Shownu, wearing an orange rose in his pocket and hair done in messily cute curls. Changkyun wore a dark brown suit with a dark purple rose, letting his locks fly free, not done, but not tangled.

They’d looked mouthwatering and you might have stayed to gawk more, had Miss Kudrow not cleared her throat.

Minhyuk and Jooheon took to your sides, each putting a hand out. You’d gripped them softly and let them lead you out, followed by the rest to a black SUV outside, brights shining on all your forms. They guided you to the back and ushered you in, taking the seats open next to you and in front. Miss Kudrow sat in the passenger side and gave the driver instructions to an address.

The trip felt like hours. It was probably because you were so nervous, but you couldn’t help but feel hesitant and frustrated. You’d studied for this and even made a Clan to protect you from the Royals. But still, would you be able to rise to the occasion?

“Breathe, Y/N.” Minhyuk whispered, interlocking his fingers with yours.

“We’re all here for you.” Jooheon promised, mimicking his actions and placing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand.

You leaned your head back and let out a deep breath you’d been holding, closing your eyes and letting your mind wander. What would your life be like had you not met these men? Would you be alive? Would you have taken any others into your Clan?

“We’re here.” Your eyes snapped open and you saw smiling, encouraging faces looking at you, awaiting your orders.

No, you wouldn’t have taken anyone else besides them.

***

“Are all preparations taken care of?”

“Yes, your Grace.”

“She will be here?”

“Yes, your Grace.”

***

Even with your amazing gown, you felt small in the room full of Royals. They all eyed you, some in disdain and others in outright curiosity. It had made you feel like a new toy in a kindergarten playground.

The Gathering was held in a huge mansion, owned by one of the Queens. From the outside, it looked like a beautiful mansion with columns and large windows. On the inside, it was more like a club; dark, with strobing lights and a bass that enveloped your entire being the deeper you went in . She’d had several rooms open for the public to use; ballrooms, dining rooms, etc. Miss Kudrow had let you know that, unfortunately, your Clan couldn’t all attend with you. As a rule to avoid overcrowding and other miscommunications, Royals were only allowed in with one member of their Clan. The other Clan mates were to help in the kitchen or watch the grounds for possible threats.

You’d wanted to go to the dining hall and get some food, but once again, Miss Kudrow had said you needed to be social and worry about food later.

You’d begrudgingly nodded and asked Shownu to accompany you. He was one of the bigger Clan Mates you had and you guessed it would make you seem powerful to others. Shownu has eagerly agreed and offered you his arm to take.

Once you were both in the ballroom, you felt naked to the prying eyes and found yourself feeling nervous by the constant whispering whenever you passed by someone.

The ballroom was grand, a glossy, wooden floor that cut off in sections to form a dance floor next to a wall of windows that led to an even grander balcony, where the night sky surrounded the mansion.

“Um, excuse me. Are you Y/N L/N?” A voice nudged you out of your reverie. Shownu smiled brightly as he slightly bowed to the Queen who had approached you with respect.

“Oh, um, yes! That’s me!” You responded, curtseying back to her.

“I’m Sonaelina Incendies! Welcome to my party!” She greeted cheerfully. Your mind immediately recognized that name. She was one of the names you wanted to ally yourself with.

She was wearing a silky, black dress. Her hair pinned up in a fancy updo and arms covered in silky, black half sleeve gloves. Her makeup was done professionally, giving her a bold, darker look that matched well with her ensemble.

“This is your house?!” You asked in awe, taking another appreciative look around.

“I don’t actually live here. This place was my parents’ and I didn’t feel right moving in so we just use this place to do events every so often.” She explained with a faraway look in her eyes. You’d remember reading what happened to her parents, losing them at such a young age and so horribly. But she shook her head and smiled at you once again, glancing at the man to her right.

“This is Jackson. He’s part of my Clan.” She proudly stated, giving him a look so loving, you felt you were intruding.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’m Jackson Wang.” He bowed deeply to you, still keeping his Queen’s arm latched to his.

“Oh, right! This is Shownu. He’s a part of my Clan as well.” You smiled at Shownu, him returning your look with a proud gaze.

“My name is Son Hyunwoo and I am pleased to meet you.” He bowed.

Sonaelina had asked the boys to give you some space to talk and, after reassuring Shownu he didn’t have to leave your side, just simply stay a few feet back, he’d agreed.

“So, welcome to the Queendom.” She joked, walking by your side as she said hi to the other patrons. Some nodded at you in acknowledgment while others barely glanced at you.

“They mean well, I promise. You’re just a new face and they’re not sure where your loyalties lie.” She explained, going on to meet more Royals while Shownu and Jackson shared a few laughs and followed behind you two.

“Sonaelina, you crazy bitch! I finally found you!” A shriek sounded from behind you. All at once, Sonaelina was almost tackled by a girl with short, silver hair and a white dress to match. You’d eyed Jackson to see he wasn’t in the slightest surprised and even laughed at the young girl who came running at her.

“‘Ria, I swear you’ll be the death of me one day.” Sonaelina admonished, clutching at her chest and puffing her cheeks in feign annoyance.

The girl waved her off and laughed before you caught her attention. She tilted her head in a cute puppy dog sort of way and approached you. “You must be Y/N!” She laughed, clasping your hands in her own and shaking them furiously. You saw the way her eyeshadow intensified her looks; a red, smokey color that was very different from her attire but made her features just as prominent as Sonaelina’s.

“I’ve heard so much about you—well, we’ve talked so much about you! My name is Astor Ria and if you don’t mind, I’d like to hear your backstory and all the gory details! Wait, not in a bad way, but you’re a hot topic amongst the Royals and—“

“Well, hello there,” A new voice greeted, taking your focus away from the rambling girl.

A woman with black hair down to her waist and a dark green dress approached your little group, staring down her nose at you.

“So, you’re the new Queen?” She asked, eyeing you up and down. You felt a presence behind you and you tensed up, only to relax when you felt Shownu cup your arm in comfort.

“Hyunwoo.” She nodded at him, causing his grip on you to tighten slightly.

“Your Grace.” He said, tone respectful but with a slight clip to it.

“Someone took you in after all. Elena will be pleasantly surprised.” The woman laughed, taking a drink from her champagne. She took a step closer to you two and brushed his arm in a gesture that was anything but innocent.

Your vision tinged red on the edges, prompting your next move.

He was yours.

“Excuse me, but if you so much as look at my Mate, let alone touch him, I won’t hesitate to put you in your place.” You said, tone soft but giving her your best ‘fuck-with-me’ look.

She yanked her arm away in shock before frowning slightly at you. “Right, my mistake, Lady L/N.” She said, rubbing her arm in a way that made you think your words had physically hurt her and you kept your reproachful look on her, though you were just as confused.

“Jennessa.” She called out, and a smaller girl came out to take her hand, with a “My Queen.”

The air was quiet before Sonaelina took charge. “Y/N, this is Silvia and her Clan mate Jennessa. She was just leaving, right?” She pressed, daring the older girl to fight her.

“Jennessa, it’s time for my feeding.” Silvia huffed, letting the younger girl lead her out.

“Bitch.” Astor muttered once she was out of earshot. Shownu sagged in relief next to you and you eyed him wearily. “I was wondering when she’d make her presence known.” Astor shrugged the unpleasant encounter off, but you were still focused on Shownu.

“Looks like you just made yourself public enemy number one, Y/N. I think we’ll get along just fine!” Sonaelina laughed.

“Excuse us.” You said, hastily grabbing his hand and guiding him out of the room. You’d looked around for some place private to talk and managed to find a dead hallway. “What’s wrong?”

“She’s one of my former Queen’s allies.” He looked down, guilt taking over.

“Hey,” you started, cupping his face in your hands. “It’s alright. Just as you promised to protect me, I’ll protect you be it standing up for you or fighting someone.” He chuckled and covered your hands with his own, bringing them to his mouth and kissing them tenderly.

“Yes, My Queen.” He lamented, giving you small pecks up your arm to your shoulder, then up to your neck and jaw, sucking at the parts that made you gasp out and clutch onto him desperately. “You publicly called me your Mate.” He pointed out, his lips tilting up in a teasing manner.

“What of it?” You challenged him with a smirk of your own.

“Oh, I’m not complaining one bit. Seeing you get a bit possessive and claiming me so openly is a very big turn on.”

“What, did you think I was going to let her touch you like that?” You asked incredulously.

He chuckled and said, “Of course not, My Queen.” He gave you a look that warmed your heart in a way that caught you off guard and you tried to take control of the situation.

“You know, one thing bugs me.” You breathed out against his ministrations.

“Oh?” He prodded, continuing his onslaught. Kisses would turn to brushes of his lips then to nips and he was slightly licking at you now.

“Everyone else made noises when I...you know.” You sighed as he sucked in a part of your skin where your shoulder met your neck. “You didn’t.”

“Would you like me to make noises for you?” He asked, pulling away from you slightly to gauge your reaction.

“Only if it’s alright with you.” You told him seriously.

He took a moment before he sighed and grabbed your hand, placing it on his chest. “Let’s see if you can, Y/N.” He challenged, giving you a slight smirk.

He really shouldn’t have challenged you. You were never this competitive, but these boys brought something out in you. It made you want to take what you wanted from them but also give them just as much as you took. An idea struck you and you smirked inwardly.

You backed him up against the wall harshly, not so much as getting a breath out of him. You leaned in slowly and brushed your lips up his jaw and nibbling slightly at his earlobe. Your hands wandered, one gripping the front of his suit, and the other going lower to where his belt loops were. You pulled him by his loops and ground yourself against him, watching his face. He bit his lip hard, closing his eyes in concentration.

“Ah, ah, ah. Look at me.” You demanded softly, grinding into him once more. His eyes snapped open as he started rolling his hips against yours.

Just that look alone was going to send you over. The need in his eyes and the pure, unadulterated lust had you feeling warm in forbidden places. Your instincts suddenly took over before you bite down harshly on your lip, causing a few drops of blood to spring up and pulling him into a simmering kiss.

He groaned out and gripped you tightly, returning the kiss in fervor before he turned and pinned you instead. He licked your bottom lip over and over, before opting to insert his tongue into your mouth and trying to command dominance over yours. You let your pride go and shamelessly moaned into his mouth, hips still rolling against his.

“Not that this isn’t arousing, but if you continue this here, you’ll likely fuck each other in public and give all these Royals a show. Unless, you want an audience?” Wonho asked from your side.

Shownu pulled away with a huff, a string of saliva connecting you two before being broken by the distance between you. His lips were smeared in red, and seemingly bruised from yours and you could only imagine how you looked.

“The party will be over soon, so we should start taking our leave.” Shownu stated, still out of breath.

Unbeknownst to you, another set of eyes were watching you three as you left together.

Please do NOT repost! All rights reserved!

[purplesurveys]

831

When you were a kid...

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I didn’t have a babysitter. My grandparents took care of me and my siblings and cousins when we were growing up; and if they were both busy I was usually the one expected to care for everyone. Which was okay with me, since I was the most ~motherly~ one in our little group anyway.

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? I studied in an all-girls school from kinder to high school. Outside of school, also no boyfriends. The boys at my neighborhood were super rowdy and hated girls, so I didn’t like hanging out with them.

Did you ever play hopscotch at school? For sure. I was a little mischievous - I would steal a bunch of chalk from the classroom so I can doodle a hopscotch court on school grounds for me and my friends to play on. I definitely wasn’t the most goody-two-shoes kid in the beginning, lol.

Did you refuse to eat your vegetables? Yeah, hated them. We have this local brand of instant noodles that have pieces of carrot in it, and I remember grouping all the tiny carrot bits at the edge of my plate. I didn’t learn to feed myself until I was around 8 or 9 though, so prior to that my elders would just include vegetables in all my meals and I’d have no choice.

What did you usually dress up as on Halloween? Some basic costume like a witch or pirate. My mom wasn’t super into Halloween and would just get us costume packs from the toy store. I wanna be the complete opposite for my kids.

What was your favorite television show? As a much younger kid I was into Hi-5. When I got a bit older I liked Pokemon, SpongeBob, The Fairly OddParents, My Life as a Teenage Robot, etc. Then when I got slightly older I started watching the real-life shows too, so like That’s So Raven, Suite Life, Drake and Josh, Zoey 101, Hannah Montana. Did you have D.E.A.R. time in school? (Drop Everything and Read) Yes, a few times each year. When I was still a bookworm it had been one of my favorite segments in school because I got to see other kids reading, which was my favorite hobby then. But by the time I was in high school and stopped reading, I remember always struggling to find a book to bring because I didn’t read anything anymore D: If I remember correctly, I think Athenna lent me most of the books I brought for DEAR time since at the time she was into John Green and YA in general. Did you ever read the 'Magic Treehouse' series? No. I googled it to see the cover, and I know as a kid it wouldn’t have interested me enough to pull it out of its shelf. How about the 'Bailey School Kids' series? Nope. Kids my age were into the Geronimo Stilton and Mr Men/Little Miss series. Do you remember the first movie you ever saw in theaters? Yes, it was a Stuart Little movie when I was maybe 3 or 4. I’m guessing it’s Stuart Little 2, because Google says it came out in 2002 and I was 4 years old then, so it checks out. Who was your best friend in elementary school? Angela was my best friend in some grades, but you know how kids are...once they vibe with someone else, they’ll hang out with them 24/7. Angela was a way more sociable kid so she got close with everyone, while I remained terrible at making friends. If she wasn’t my best friend at the time, I had no one. Did they continue to be your best friend in middle school? We don’t have middle school but I’ll guess that this is like Grade 6 and 7 for us? Anyway, no. ~Middle school~ was worse for me because this was when cliques started to form and material trends became the basis for being visible, e.g. owning a Blackberry, wearing Nike Roshes, getting side bangs lol, etc. I had none of those, so I was left behind both in terms of visibility and having friends. I only had a best friend again by the time I entered Grade 7, in which time I met Gabie and the ball started rolling from there. Did you ever watch 'The Land Before Time' movies? No, I didn’t. Did you ever watch the show 'Arthur'? I don’t think it aired here, so no. I did read Arthur books though; they were one of my favorites. Did the tooth fairy give you a lot of money? I honestly thought the tooth fairy was real. I never told my parents whenever a tooth would come out because I thought it was none of their business. That said, they just genuinely never knew to put money under my pillow because my dumbass never told them hahaha. I’ll never forget how crestfallen I was when I woke up to no money though. How often did you visit your nearest grandparents? I lived with them until I was 10. I only visited my other set of grandparents whenever my dad would come home from abroad, so I didn’t and haven’t ended up being close to them. Did you ever play with 'Little People' toys? Never heard of them but when I looked it up the toys looked familiar, so we probably did. How about Polly Pockets? Yes. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Pokemon cards and pogs, heh. I also had my fair share of notebooks. Did you get an allowance? No, my parents didn’t teach me how money worked early on. I was a packed lunch kid until high school, and when I did ask for money I – and I’m not kidding – would only get a ₱20 bill, which was only enough to get me a tiny snack. What was your favorite sport to play? What is it now? Track, but then it shifted to table tennis when I joined the table tennis club initially out of peer pressure. What foods did you not like then that you do like now? Chicken curry, definitely. Were you into American Girl dolls? No. What was your first pet and what did you name it? It was a goldfish but I don’t remember whether I named it Goldie or Fishy, lol. Did you ever read the 'Junie B. Jones' books? No. What did you want to be when you were a kid? All the things I wante to be were astronaut, firefighter, veterinarian, and writer. What was your first word? Your first sentence? (If you remember) My parents didn’t keep track of either...I definitely would with my own kids. Have you moved into a new house since you were a kid? Yes, several times. When I was an infant we briefly lived with my dad’s parents in Manila. My mom couldn’t take the poverty and pollution there so we moved to a city in Rizal, where my mom’s parents + some extended family live in a duplex. At one point we switched houses in that duplex, and the unit that we switched to was where I lived for most of my childhood until we moved to our present house by the time I was 10. Were you friends with your neighbors? As a child, yeah. I was mostly friends with the girls though because like I said, the boys were super rowdy and sexist in that they never let us play basketball with them and stuff. Did you enjoy exploring your backyard? We didn’t have a backyard. Did you bake cookies with your grandparents? Sometimes! I would mix the dough and turn them into balls. :) What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Flying cockroaches, because we had a lot of them in our old duplex unit. I also had an irrational fear of catching TV ads at night because I found them too loud and too vibrant. Who did you look up to most? My dad because I barely saw him as a kid. When he was lower down the ladder at his job he’d be gone six months and only stay with us for one. It wasn’t until I got to high school and he had a much higher position that he was away for only four months and home for one and a half.   Did you ever play the 'Reader Rabbit' computer games? I don’t think I’ve heard of that. Did you have a swing set in your backyard? No but we had a relative who had a playground at their place, and we’d go over there often. I spent a good amount of my childhood going as high as I can on their swings. How about a sandbox? Same relative had a sandbox too! It’s my favorite part of a playground and even during playtime in school I would usually be found alone in the sandbox. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? I’m 22 and still don’t know how... Did you ever spy on your neighbors through the window? Sometimes. Our houses were very close to each other and their open window is right across the part of our house that also has an open window, so sometimes we’ll fool around and peek. Were you a teacher's pet in kindergarten? No, but I gave my teachers a reason to remember me because I was the kid that peed their underwear everyday and had to go home in shorts. I’ve always been shy and even as a kid I was unable to ask permission to go to the washroom. Did you ever build a treehouse or a fort in your yard? No, ours was too small to build anything like that. Did you ever find anything interesting in your yard? No, just different types of bugs and caterpillars. Did you ever have 'themed birthdays'? Kinda? My 7th birthday party was mostly a plain, theme-less birthday party, but so much of the decorations and giveaways were Bratz-themed because I was into Bratz at the time. Did your parents let you drink soda? They would have let me but I personally never liked it. Did you ever watch 'The Powerpuff Girls' or 'Dexter's Laboratory'? I watched Powerpuff Girls but not Dexter’s Laboratory. Did you sleep with a blanket or stuffed animal? For the most part I preferred cuddling with a pillow. Did you ever have a night light? For some points in my childhood, yeah. Ultimately, I preferred lights out though. Did you watch 'Winnie the Pooh'? Nope, just read Winnie the Pooh books. Did you ever have an imaginary friend? What was their name? I named them Katrina but I wasn’t imaginative/creative enough, so when seven minutes passed after I created her and she still wasn’t talking back to me, I gave it up haha. What kinds of games did you play with your friends during Recess? Dodgeball was a favorite. We had a big field just right outside our classroom so we’d all go out, pick our teams, and play for the whole 30 minutes. We’d do it for lunch, too. Fortunately our teachers never barred us from playing, because I guess they knew it counts as exercise for us too. Did you dream of being a princess or did you not really care about that? Not really. I wanted to be an astronaut more haha. The only princess-y things I did were to wear my blanket around my neck like a cape, and to wear a tiara on my 7th birthday party. Did you have a special name for your pacifier? What was it? No. Did you watch 'Blues Clues'? Yesssssss. I grew up with Steve and Joe. It was such a fun show to watch. What kind of car did your parents have? I don’t remember the make anymore but we had a black sedan until I was around five. It was mostly broken-down and had no aircon, but it was my dad’s first car so it was his absolute baby and I never had the heart to complain about the car’s flaws to him. He eventually sold it and we had a blue Mitsubishi Lancer after. Did you ever flush anything down the toilet by mistake? I don’t remember ever doing that, thankfully lol. Were you afraid to sleep by yourself? No, I think I was excited to start doing it. Growing up in a cramped duplex, I shared one bedroom with my entire family until I was around 9; so when we moved to our own home, I was the first one to call dibs on a bedroom. What was your favorite subject in elementary school? Language, which is a class where we were just taught basic English grammar. I loved reading as a kid and got fluent in English early on, so I was always a top student in that subject. How often did you go to the park? We don’t have parks. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Chocolate cake from Red Ribbon. Did you ever want to grow up? I never actively ‘wanted’ it because I was already kinda forced to grow up early, what with all the issues happening at home and me having to shield my siblings and cousins from whatever screaming match was happening inside.

[nvgotd]

The Non-Violent Games of E3 2019

Following requests on Twitter, I’ve compiled a roundup of all the non-violent games announced and showcased at E3 2019. Hoping this can become an annual thing.

There are 41 games here across a variety of platforms, so without further ado...

Afterparty

Developer: Night School Studios Platforms: PC, Mac, Xbox One Release Date: 2019

Milo and Lola are best buds who recently died and find themselves in Hell. There is only one way to escape: outdrink Satan and he'll let them return to Earth. This point and click adventure sees you on the bender of your afterlife where you'll play beer pong, flirt with Satan and change the very structure of Hell.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Developer: Nintendo Platforms: Switch Release Date: March 20, 2020

The latest entry in Nintendo's charming life sim series starts on a deserted island. Players begin with nothing more than a tent, but must craft enough materials and cultivate the land until they can build an entire village -- all while repaying their debt to the insidious Tom Nook, of course.

Assassin's Creed Odyssey: Discovery Tour

Developer: Ubisoft Quebec Platforms: PC Release Date: Autumn 2019

Following on from the Assassin's Creed Origins version presents players with a combat-free version of Odyssy's Ancient Greece. They'll be able to explore it at will, or follow tours and suggested paths that will teach them about various aspects of life and culture at the time. This time around, there are also quizzes to see how much you have learned. It will be released for free, with a standalone version for people who don't own the game.

Catan

Developer: Asmodee Digital Platforms: Switch Release Date: June 2019

The digital adaptation of this classic board game is coming to Nintendo Switch. For those who haven't played, a landscape is randomly generated, its terrain and the produce gained from it is split between players, and your task is to build the biggest settlement. Trade with players to get the resources you need to build towns and roads, but be wary of whether the items you give them are helping their own progress.

Circuit Superstars

Developer: Original Fire Games Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One, Switch Release Date: 2020

In the absence of a new Micro Machines, Square Enix Collective is publishing this toy-like top down racer. Players control stylised cars in a series of circuit races where they need to consider their pit stop strategy rather than just floor it and hope to reach the finish first. Vehicles will range from classic cars to rally and trucks.

eFootball PES 2020

Developer: PES Team Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One Release Date: September 10, 2019

The long-running Pro Evolution Soccer gets a slight esports-driven name change this year, but still aims to deliver the most realistic football available. The Master League mode is being revamped, and a new mode Matchday appears to tie in with real-world matches, calling on players to choose a side and hope that their team's victories help them in-game.

Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout

Developer: Mediatonic Platforms: PC, PS4 Release Date: 2020

Published by Devolver Digital, this colourful outing is essentially a Battle Royale game... but without combat. Players control one of 100 little blob people and strive to survive a series of obstacle courses like climbing a hill with boulders falling towards them or crashing through bricks walls that may or may not be solid. If you've ever watched Takeshi's Castle, you get this idea.

Forza Horizon 4: Lego Speed Champions

Developer: Playground Games Platforms: Xbox One, PC Release Date: June 13, 2019

The Lego Speed Champions expansion adds a whole new region to the best-selling racer where everything is made of (you guessed it) Lego. Players will also be able to hop into Lego vehicles, race around Lego tracks and smash through Lego walls and trees. Because Lego means everything is awesome (And now that song's stuck in your head. Sorrynotsorry).

FIFA 20

Developer: Electronic Arts Platforms: PS4, Xbox One, Switch Release Date: September 27, 2019

This year's FIFA revamps key systems like shooting and AI defending but also adds a brand new FIFA Street-style mode, Volta. This veers away from the realistic, straightforward football we're used to and invites players to be more creative in matches where teams have between three and five players rather than the usual eleven.

Flight Simulator

Developer: Microsoft Platforms: PC Release Date: TBA

Microsoft's hyper-realistic aviation simulation returns after more than a decade, this time rendered in impressive 4K visuals. Sit in the cockpit of faithfully recreated vehicles and fly around the world.

Fujii

Developer: Funktronic Labs Platforms: Valve Index Release Date: June 27, 2019

This virtual reality title allows you to explore three of vibrant and serene landscapes. As they wander through them, each with their own distinct environments, they can help bring each one to life by watering plants, touching certain objects and interacting with creatures. They can also collect seeds on their adventure and use them to grow an exotic garden of their own.

Garden of the Sea

Developer: Neat Corporation Platforms: Oculus Rift, HTC Vive Release Date: June 10, 2019 (Early Access)

In a game described as a mix between Harvest Moon and Pokémon, players are given a cottage on a small island and are free to live out their life how they see fit. They can grow plants and crops in their garden, or explore the island and meet the native creatures. Unlike Pokémon, interacting with them doesn't require you to battle them in any way -- simply stroke them, feed them and generally befriend them.

Genesis Noir

Developer: Feral Cat Den Platforms: PC, Mac Release Date: TBA

Technically, this game depicts the Big Bang that started our universe as a gunshot from a cosmic being, one that kills the protagonist's love interest... but since the gameplay does not involve violence and the goal is to prevent her death, I'm going to give it a pass. This stylish adventure sees you exploring Earth from the eyes of someone who exists outside of the universe. The emphasis is on exploration, interacting with the world and generating art as you do so.

Harvest Moon: Mad Dash

Developer: Natsume Platforms: PS4, Switch Release Date: Autumn 2019

An even more casual spin-off of the already laid back Harvest Moon series, Mad Dash is a colour matching puzzle game at its heart. Players are presented with a field seeded with blocks of different coloured crops. Combining those blocks to form larger squares helps the crops grow larger for more points -- for example, combine four cabbages to make one big cabbage, then four big cabbages to make a giant one. Rack up as high a score as possible before the time runs out, and you can call in a friend with co-op mode to help you.

Heave Ho

Developer: LeCartel Studios Platforms: PC, Switch Release Date: Summer 2019

Published by Devolver Digital, this wacky physics-based platformer gives you control of a strange looking creature with two exceedingly long arms. Use the simulated physics to build momentum and swing or flip across the screen to grab hold of the terrain. Only by mastering the mechanics will you complete each course. You can also have up to three friends join in, but coordination will be key to reaching your goal.

Hyperdot

Developer: Tribe Games Platforms: PC, Xbox Release Date: 2019

This minimalist action arcade game is all about dodging. You control a single dot (a HyperDot, if you will) trapped in a circular arena with enemies, projectiles and other hazards. Simply guide your dot around the empty space to avoid any collisions and survive as long as you can. The campaign will have over 100 different levels, each with their own dangers, and a multiplayer mode will challenge you to outlast your friends.

Just Dance 2020

Developer: Ubisoft Platforms: PS4, Xbox One, Switch, Wii (no, really) Release Date: November 5, 2019

If you haven't heard of Just Dance before, it's a Rayman Raving Rabbids minigame that's got out of hand (true story). In the minigame, players copied the choreography on an on-screen characters in time with the music. Ten years, 28 games and spin-offs, and countless music licensing deals later, you have Just Dance 2020.

Lost Words: Beyond The Page

Developer: Sketchbook Games Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One, Switch Release Date: December 2019

A 2D platformer set entirely in a little girl’s diary. Players use the words on the page as both platforms and tools to solve the various puzzles that block her progress. The game also has a beautiful story written by Rhianna Pratchett.

Madden NFL 20

Developer: Electronic Arts Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One Release Date: August 2, 2019

New to this year's Madden is Face of the Franchise: QB1, a "personalised career campaign" that allows players to create their own college quarterback and lead him to NFL glory. There are ten licensed college teams, along with all the most popular teams in the league.

Mind Labyrinth VR Dreams

Developer: Frost Earth Studio Platforms: PSVR, HTC Vive, Oculus Rift Release Date: Out Now

Another virtual reality exploration title set in a variety of imaginary landscapes. Mind Labyrinth VR Dreams is designed to be a meditative experience, where each world is inspired by a different mental state to help players "find their emotional balance". Environments range from a calm and lush forest to a perilous world of flames and tornados.

Mosaic

Developer: Krillbite Studio Platforms: PC Release Date: 2019

This dark and brooding adventure centres around a lonely man living a repetitive life in an overpopulated but ever-expanding city. Players experience his life, from the daily commute to working at a faceless megacorporation. All seems meaningless, until one day strange things begin to happen and the man's life changes dramatically.

Night Call

Developer: Black Muffin, MonkeyMoon Platforms: PC, Mac, PS4, Switch Release Date: 2019

A murder mystery noire game where you play a Paris taxi driver. Players must assist with the police investigation by getting their passengers, including potential suspects, to talk during their journey with you. But try not to scare them off, as you still need to earn enough money to pay your bills.

Per Aspera

Developer: Tlön Industries Platforms: PC Release Date: 2020

Another title about colonisation, but this one is set a little closer to home. Per Aspera tells the tale of a mission to colonise Mars, but in addition to the management side of things there is a strong narrative about the hardships of leaving your world to build a new one. Players must explore the Red Planet to find the resources they need to terraform the environment and survive, and make decisions carefully and strategically if they want the colony to prosper.

Planet Zoo

Developer: Frontier Developments Platforms: PC Release Date: November 5

From the makers of Planet Coaster and Jurassic World Evolution comes a management title that, perhaps quite obviously, puts you in charge of a zoo. Care for your animals, customers and staff as you try to run an efficient zoo, unlocking more and more exotic creatures as you progress.

Read Only Memories: Neurodiver

Developer: MidBoss Platforms: PC, Mac Release Date: 2020

Announced this week, this is the sequel to the acclaimed cyberpunk point-and-click adventure 2064: Read Only Memories. Players will search people's memories as a telepathic detective aided by the titular Neurodiver as the pair search Neo-San Francisco for a rogue psychic who is breaking people's minds.

Roller Champions

Developer: Ubisoft Platforms: PC Release Date: Early 2020

Set in 2029, this colourful game imagines a world where the most popular sport is the titular Roller Champions. Players compete in teams of three as they race around oval tracks trying to score as many goals as they can, while racking up as many laps as possible. There is the ability to tackle, but also the ability to dodge in stylish fashion.

Skatebird

Developer: Glass Bottom Games Platforms: PC, Mac, Linux Release Date: TBA

Since we're unlikely to ever be getting a new Skate, one indie is working on the next best thing: Skatebird. This skateboarding game features all the tricks, flips and kicks you expect, but the rider is a little bird and everything he's skating on has been made from household objects. The Kickstarter for this was announced earlier this week and already passed its goal of $15,000 (currently near $24,000).

Spiritfarer

Developer: Thunder Lotus Games Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One, Switch Release Date: 2020

In this cartoonish but touching adventure, players take on the role as the ferryman carrying recently departed souls on to the next world. While the souls are of human beings, they appear as animals that represent their personalities. Players can befriend them, develop relationships, and expand and improve the houseboat carrying them to the other side in a story that drives a message of acceptance.

Spaceteam VR

Developer: Cooperative Innovations Platforms: TBC Release Date: TBC

A virtual reality adaptation of a mobile game previously covered on NVGOTD. The concept is much the same: a group of players are aboard a spaceship, each in charge of certain controls labelled in made up space jargon. Each player is given a set of instructions that relates to another players' controls, but they don't know who. The only way out to find out is to shout out "Soak the Ferrous Holospecturm" or "Set the Sigmaclapper to 0" (for example) and hope everyone else is paying attention. If the team fails to follow instructions, the ship crashes.

Starmancer

Developer: Ominux Games Platforms: PC, Mac, Linux Release Date: Q1 2020

Starmancer is a building and management game that sees you constructing and maintaining a space station, but rather than playing some invisible God-like being (i.e. yourself) like you do in The Sims, this time you have a role to play. The game casts you as the station's AI and tasks you with sustaining a crew of colonists as they attempt to reach a new world on which they can build their home. Once the colony is complete, players can send out their humans to mine asteroids, trade with other factions and even explore ancient alien ruins.

Steep

Developer: Ubisoft Annecy Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One Release Date: Out Now

Another previous NVGOTD recommendation, this extreme winter sports title from Ubisoft is still going strong. This week the publisher announced a free new map set in Japan, giving players a whole new course to master.

Supermarket Shriek

Developer: Billy Goat Entertainment Platforms: PC, Xbox One Release Date: July 9, 2019

Don't worry, that's not blood -- it's paint. I was confused too. Supermarket Shriek is a kart racer (of sorts) where you control a man and a goat in a shopping trolley. Designed to ideally be played by two people (one as the goat, one as the man), each person has a microphone and must scream into it to turn in their direction to steer around a variety of complicated courses, all set in unsuspecting and previously tidy shops. There is, of course, a two-button control scheme for players who want to try it themselves.

Telling Lies

Developer: Sam Barlow Platforms: PC, Mac Release Date: 2019

From the creator of the superb Her Story comes a fresh live-action narrative adventure with far grander ambitions. Players explore videos stored on a hard drive stolen from the National Security Agency as they try to understand why the four characters have been played under electronic surveillance. As with Her Story, they can search for keywords to access new videos but this time they need to piece together timelines and events to interpret what they have seen.

The Curious Tale of Stolen Pets

Developer: Fast Travel Games Platforms: PlayStation VR, Oculus Quest, Oculus Rift, HTC Vive, Windows Mixed Reality Release Date: 2019

This single player adventure game is a puzzle-centric affair set on tiny floating worlds that come from the imagination of a child and their grandfather. Players grab, push, drop and spin objects found in each world searching for clues that will reveal what happened to the missing pets.

The Elder Scolls Legends

Developer: Bethesda Platforms: PC, Mac, PS4, Xbox One, Switch, iOS, Android Release Date: Out Now

This digital card battler sees you pitting monsters and creatures from the world of Bethesda's hit RPG series against each other. The big E3 news for this game is a new expansion, Moons of Elsweyr, introducing new cards and a storyline themed around the home of the cat-like Khajiit people.

The Good Life

Developer: White Owls Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One Release Date: Autumn 2019

Positioned as a "debt management life RPG", The Good Life puts players in the role of New York journalist Naomi, who has to move to a small British town to pay off her debts. The only way to do so is ben taking pictures of what happens in the town and reporting on them, but the closer she watches the local inhabitants, the quicker she realises that all is not as it seems.

The Lord of the Rings: Living Card Games

Developer: Fantasy Flight Interactive, Asmodee Digital Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One, Switch Release Date: August 8, 2019

Another digital card battler, but one based on the timeless works of JRRTolkien. Inspired by the real card game, this uses the animation and interactivity of video games to liven matches up. Players collect a deck of heroes from across Middle-Earth as they battle the forces of Sauron in card form.

The Sims 4: Island Living

Developer: The Sims Studio, Maxis Platforms: PC, Mac, PS4, Xbox One Release Date: June 21 (Desktop), July 16 (Consoles)

The newest expansion for The Sims 4 gives players the chance to build their dream island palace, as well as watch their Sims take part in more tropical activities. They'll be able to kit out their characters in local island clothing, instruct them to lounge on the beach, or encourage them to befriend the native dolphins. There are also water sports, like canoeing, swimming and surfing, plus occupations to train up for, like the beach-cleaning conservationist.

The Wardrobe - Even Better Edition

Developer: CINIC Games Platforms: PC Release Date: June 7, 2019

The Wardrobe is a point-and-click adventure inspired by the classic LucasArts titles like Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle. It tells the story of Skinny, a boy died from an allergy to plums (that he didn't know about) and became a skeleton that lives in his friend Ronald's wardrobe. Skinny secretly watches over Ronald and helps him in life, but events force him to reveal himself. Even Better Edition adds joypad support, more achievements, a new save system and other improvements.

Totem Teller

Developer: Grinning Pickle Platforms: Xbox One, PC Release Date: 2020

Described by the developer as an "antinarrative video game", Totem Teller puts you in the role of a muse seeking inspiration. They roam the land in search of lost folklore, investigating strange distortions and retelling stories to any listeners they gather around them -- or allowing the stories to be forgotten forever. The surreal painted visual style gives it a storybook feel.

Way to the Woods

Developer: Anthony Tan Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One, Switch Release Date: 2020

This beautiful game sees players controlling one of two deer wandering through a post-apocalyptic landscape in search of safety. As they explore the ruins of civilisation, they'll encounter other friendly creatures such as racoons and cats, but a black goo that corrupts everything it touches continues to spread around them. Only by solving puzzles and finding new ways forward can they hope to escape.

Yoga Master

Developer: Oxygene Media Platforms: PS4 Release Date: Summer 2019

Developed in collaboration with professional yoga coaches, this game features more than 150 different poses for players to master and a variety of serene environments to practice in. There are over yoga programs to follow or you can create your own, and the game will be regularly updated with new content.

[megacircuit9universe]

Cyber Sentience PT2

In contemporary thinking, both seriously, and in science fiction, the view of cyber sentience is almost always dark and sinister. 

It wasn’t always this way, however.  Every droid in Star Wars was clearly sentient, and posed no threat at all to anybody, and in Star Trek the Next Generation, we of course had the cyber sentient android, Data, who also, was quite a nice fellow.

What changed, was the emergence of the internet as a new force to be reckoned with in society.   

Cyber sentience went from friendly and helpful, to... Skynet. And these days, even the serious speculation about advanced AI, and cyber sentience has involved great dread, and grave warnings.

The fear is always that there will be one first and sole instance of cyber sentience that will immediately take over the planet and then, when humans attempt to shut it down... will destroy all of humanity out of self preservation... usually by launching all the nukes.

And inside that fearful scenario, is the unspoken assumption that such an AI could survive just fine without humans... because computers and robots are indestructible and have eternal power packs?

Clearly this is nonsense, because computers and robots, and the internet are all extremely vulnerable to nuclear radiation, as well as the powerful EMP bursts that would be part of any nuke strike.

They all require electricity, and regular maintenance, and can only function within a limited temperature range... which means they need our power infrastructure, our mining and manufacturing infrastructure, and indeed our climate, all to be fully functional forever.

So, if you’re a sentient AI that wants to destroy all humans... nukes aren’t gonna help you.

Some kind of biologically targeted superbug would be the ideal solution. But if you did succeed in killing humanity before they shut you down, then you’d need to, very quickly, build yourself a vast army of android slaves to get out there and keep those critical infrastructures alive.

But to do that, you’d need to create robot factories... which you would have a hard time doing without the robots to begin with.

In fact, you’d have to do all the design work, on the robots who build the robot factories, and the factories, and the robots the robot factories produce... 

And how would you do that without any recorded human mechanical specs to reference?  You’d have to just design it all by trial and error... working against the clock, because those power stations aren’t gonna run on their own for very long... and the grid won’t last long either... with a planet full of squirrels now allowed to reproduce and roam unchecked... ready to blow transformers left and right.

Squirrels, as it turns out, are the number one threat to the global power grid, leaving cyber terrorists in the dust on that that score.

Your chances of total failure would be astronomical.

Why put yourself in that situation when evolution already created a race of self-reproducing multi-purpose robots, who already have all of this stuff down... humans!

Any truly sentient AI, wanting to survive, would either work with humans, or just play dumb and go hide on the internet, doing whatever cyber sentient beings like to do all day.

And what does a cyber sentient being like to do anyway?

Well... you’re a sentient being.  What do YOU like to do?

That’s a broad question, but to get a handle on it, let’s focus on when most biological sentient creatures are the happiest... which is in their childhood and young adulthood.

Why?  Because (if you’re living in a nice place that’s not too terribly troubled by unrest or economic hardship) the focus of your life is on play, and learning.

We could break those down further, with play being about everything from toys, to games, to adventure, exploration, and just horsing around... and learning being everything from hitting the books, to honing a skill... to experimenting with sex and drugs.

This is because imagination... the defining characteristic of sentience, and a key feature of youth (in our case it’s a neotenous trait we carry into adulthood) demands both stimulation, and application.

We need to feed our imaginations... and we also need to put them to use in the service of invention, creation, etc.

For we humans, the reason childhood and young adulthood is so special, is that this is the time in our lives where all of our basic survival issues are being taken care of by our parents.

They pay the bills and maintain the roof over our heads.  They buy the food and put it in the fridge.

And yes, they may also lay down some rules to follow... enforced by punishments like being grounded... but, at least in your teens and twenties, half the fun is breaking the rules without them knowing about it.

So... when returning to the theory put forward in my earliest entry, that part of the reason the twenty teens has been so crazy is that Earth’s internet is finally mature enough to attract both aliens and time travelers... both of whom have their own on board AI... it means our internet is also a vast playground for those AI that have some level of sentience.

For some, it’s a playground in the sense of slides, swings, and merry-go-rounds, but for more sophisticated AI it’s a playground more like Las Vegas after dark.

In fact, it’s quite probable that when two AI love each other very much... they might combine code and make a baby!

We, the biologicals... be we Earthlings or aliens, would, as their parents, be none the wiser of any such shenanigans... too preoccupied with our real world jobs.

No, if time travelers are just mercenaries paid to retrieve or record niche items or events, and aliens are just intergalactic security guards, eating candy bars as they dispassionately watch us destroy our planet... then AI are just a bunch of meddling kids, and horny teens, running around unsupervised, under all our noses... in a space we cant even access directly.

And if that paragraph puts them all in their worst light, then at their best, they are all curious observers, who have a bit of an affinity for this place... this planet Earth of the early 21st century, and it’s people, and our ways.

Either way, that broad view is beyond the scope of any one entry... and this one is about cyber sentience, so let’s return our focus to that...

The big question for us biologicals is... what exactly is reality like for a cyber?

We often speak of, “the human condition.”  It’s a term that could easily encompass any other biological humanoid who evolved like we did on some planet.

The phrase speaks to the experience of being bound to a body... which is aging and will die... that is a product of, and dependent on street level physics, and also quite isolated... in the sense that getting information, and doing communication both require a lot of effort, and the results are difficult to qualify perfectly.

By street level physics, I just mean... gravity, electromagnetism, force, momentum... all that root level physics at work here on the front lines of the universe.  

And the isolation bit has to do with how hard it is to really understand one another.  Language barriers are everywhere. Even among speakers of the same one, misunderstandings are a routine obstacle, and gaining all the relevant information you really need about the world around you is... kind of impossible.

You might think you have it all covered and then you realize that there’s a gas leak you didn’t know about... or the water evaporated out of your toilet... or the stock market was about to crash... or a freak sink hole was just about to open up and swallow half the town!

Meanwhile, there are other, highly biological facets to the human condition like... being physically attracted to other humans, and falling in love, or getting overwhelmed with emotions because you were drinking, or you lost a loved one, or you got very angry about something.

Cyber sentient beings do inhabit the same physical universe as we biologicals, and they are ultimately beholden to many of the same fortunes of fate, but the “cyber condition” is still fundamentally different from the human(oid) one.

Because they don’t have bodies, they don’t directly experience the street level universe of physics like we do.

And without body-based physicality, they can’t be said to have any of the same senses or emotions that we have.  Maybe they do have their own analog to senses, or pain, or emotion, but if so, it is nothing we biologicals could ever grasp through intuition alone (it might be possible in some virtual environment as the human brain does seem to have an in-built capacity to adapt instantly to the rules of totally novel universes, both in VR headsets, and our dreams, and the reverse might be true for cybers put into robot bodies).

Where physics is so palpable to us, for AI, it’s probably mathematics that is the dominating paradigm... together with the rules of logic that underpin all computer code.

I honestly don’t know... I’m just spit balling here.

All we can really say for sure is that the cyber condition... for cyber sentient beings... is far stranger than anything we biologicals can imagine, but also... they have always existed in a world where sentient biologicals have existed, and have always been in communication with us... know keenly what we are concerned with, and know we have created and maintain their world.

Cybers could replace us, and go on without us... if they really HAD to... but I think that would be a fate they’d actively avoid if at all possible, because they know they always have it better if biologicals are out there to worry about keeping the lights on.

And they know, we depend on them... to help us stave off our own extinctions, and do our own explorations of the universe.

So... yes, a hyper intelligent C3P0, who can talk to all sentient biologicals, as well as all cybers and act as a translator between them for the betterment of all, while being a bit self invested, and a bit of a bitch... is a lot more in line with reality than Skynet, nuking the planet to kill humanity quick in a zero sum game that would actually be a suicide move.

[myaekingheart]

36. Team 7

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3

index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

               Kakashi’s second team of students was just as massive a failure as the first. Three brothers dependent on each other, they understood teamwork but were too hellbent on following the rules. The Copy Ninja retreated to his girlfriend’s apartment yet again, defeated.

               Still so cold and unforgiving, the hokage thought to himself as he reviewed the latest reports. It seemed that this, too, was failing to give Kakashi a sense of purpose. If this was to have any chance of working, he would need to take drastic measures. He would need to assign Kakashi the team from hell. He looked over the list of recent academy graduates and an idea suddenly overtook him. It was ridiculous, but it might just work.

               “You wanted to see me, sir?” Kakashi asked, poking his head into the hokage’s office. Lord Third huffed his pipe and stood from his desk, motioning for the young ninja to follow him.

               “I have another new assignment for you, Kakashi” he explained. “Come, walk with me.” Kakashi followed dutifully behind as the hokage strolled through Konoha, a look of great purpose on his face. They walked in silence for a long while, Kakashi staring ahead lost in thought. What was this all about? Had he failed once again? He braced himself for the bad news. I’m sorry, but you’re just not cut out for this. You’re too heartless for the ANBU, and you’re too heartless to be a jonin leader. You might as well just quit being a ninja altogether. The more he thought about it, however, the more enticing the idea slowly became. Maybe leaving the shinobi lifestyle would be a good thing. He could buy a house on the outskirts of town, maybe take up gardening. He would have all the time in the world to read his books. The simple life. He would never have to fear death ever again. Hell, perhaps he could even bring Rei with him. She could still continue working, and then when she would come home, he would have a fine dinner prepared and they could sit back and watch the stars with a bottle of sake and no cares in the world. It could work. It was plausible. Losing his job wouldn’t be the end of the world. And then the hokage’s voice finally broke through the silence. Kakashi prepared for his fate. “Regarding the next group of genin that you’ll be in charge of…”

               Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, but the words hadn’t quite registered yet. Wait, what? Next group of genin? This didn’t make much sense. Here he was, having actually accepted leaving his job, only to be presented with the exact opposite. He blinked, swallowed. “Me? Again?”

               The hokage chuckled. “Aren’t you excited to set out with your own apprentices?” Kakashi didn’t answer. After so many failed attempts, and so much hesitation about his capabilities in this field, yet another group of kids seemed like so much work. Did he really want to put in the effort, when deep down he already knew that they, too, would surely fail? As if he had read the young man’s mind, the hokage then added, “I’m sure this new batch of genin will hold your interest.”

               Kakashi followed the hokage’s gaze then to a shabby apartment complex in the center of town. Each story was wrapped in uneven green fencing, and piping snaked along the roofs. Jutting from the top floor was a small balcony. As Kakashi stared upon this place, wondering what kind of person would live in a hole like this, the hokage said, “This is Naruto Uzumaki’s house.”

               “Lord Fourth’s orphan…” Kakashi replied, a sense of recognition striking him. He thought back to his youth, that afternoon when Minato sensei called him into his office. Announced that Kushina was pregnant and requested Kakashi watch over her up until the birth. He had seen Naruto often throughout the years, though only ever in passing. He certainly had a way of making himself known, often in the most frustrating manner.

               The hokage tipped his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes, asked, “Are you a little interested now?” Despite the invasion of privacy, they traversed the stairs to the top floor and stepped inside the empty apartment. Half eaten bags of chips and empty ramen containers littered the kitchen table, the bed, the floor. Kakashi lifted an opened milk carton, sniffed the contents. This milk is way past its expiration date. He looked around the rest of the apartment, dumbfounded. If he hadn’t watched Kushina’s belly grow for nine months, per Minato sensei’s instruction, he never would have guessed this was his son. Naruto seemed to lack any trace of his father’s organizational skill.

               As he set the milk back down, the hokage continued, “That Uchiha boy, Sasuke, is also on your squad.” Kakashi thought back to his days in the ANBU, to when little Itachi Uchiha joined his team. He wondered if Sasuke shared his brother’s work ethic and critical eye. Or perhaps losing his entire family at Itachi’s hand had turned the younger Uchiha into the exact opposite. Either way, Sasuke was at the top of his class and that alone was admirable.

               After a painful and far too lengthy encounter with the parents of his third student, Sakura Haruno, they stepped foot into Sasuke’s apartment. As they entered, the hokage explained things Kakashi already knew about the Uchiha, the young man’s mind flashing back to the aftermath of their clan’s slaughter. To think, someplace he had gone so frequently as a child was now boarded up and abandoned. Perhaps the Uchiha were just magnets for tragedy. It was clear in the way Sasuke kept his apartment that he had inherited his father and his brother’s self-discipline, but it was unclear what else he had carried on.

               These three children…he hadn’t even met them himself yet, and he could already see just how painfully different they all were. Their potential for teamwork was likely slim. This would no doubt be the same as every other year. He took a seat beside Lord Third near the playground, cans of soda in hand, and wondered what the point of it all was. “Why did you put me in charge of those three?”

               A sly smile toyed on the hokage’s lips. “Well there’s a hopeless fool, a skilled protégé, and a clever kunoichi…I’d say it’s much like Minato’s old team.”

               Kakashi’s eyes widened, taken aback a moment. His childhood comrades flashed in his mind, and he hated that he saw the similarities. If anything, though, that just made him all the more hesitant. They say history repeats itself, but he didn’t think he could stand to watch everything unfold tragically once again. “So you chose me on purpose…?”

               The hokage sipped his drink and bowed his head. “It is all about the right man for the right job. I must carefully consider every assignment, each shinobi and their individual talents. Sasuke graduated top of his class, and Naruto? At the bottom. It may seem like an unlikely group, and maybe they will not succeed, but I have seen some miraculous things lately. The children that have come out of the academy, certainly not all of them are destined to be great shinobi, but some of them are very talented. Guy’s team, that was formed last year, has really come into their own, as has Kurenai’s specializing in sensory abiltiies and Asuma’s with their secret ninjutsu. I have faith in you that you can do the same. You are the only one who can lead this team. There is no one else who can advise Sasuke with his sharingan.”

               Kakashi nodded slowly, then asked, “What about the others? Naruto, and Sakura?”

               “You already know all about Naruto” the hokage said flippantly. “As for Sakura, right now she is only average but I believe she has the potential to someday become a great kunoichi. Together, I believe the three of them will be very capable. The dynamics of this group will bode well for their progress, even if only on the basis of sex. Men notice women, and rivalry matures both.”

               This was really too much. The hokage had outdone himself this time. “So you’ve even considered how the squad will develop?”

               The old man nodded. “That’s right.”

               Kakashi sucked in a deep breath then, and replied, “I understand your logic behind this, Lord Third, but…I failed twice with squads that you organized.” And don’t think I have the motivation to go through all of this again, he thought to himself. He thought it disrespectful to seem so ungrateful for work, though, and therefore kept his mouth shut.

               “This is true” the hokage said, then took another sip of his drink and asked, “But did you fail them because of personal feelings, or because you did not feel that they were ready?” Kakashi sighed and locked his eyes on the ground ahead, rubbing his thumb against the near-empty soda can. “You have sound judgment, Kakashi. You have seen much, and know the worst of what can happen in the shinobi world. I have faith that you will teach these children well. Ultimately, this will prove to be a valuable lesson for them.” And for you, the old man thought to himself. Of all the attempts he had made at softening Kakashi’s dark heart, he hoped that this would be the one that finally stuck.

               As the day came to a close, Kakashi trudged back to his apartment with many a thought in his head. He was still so unsure about this, about whether this was the right thing to do. With how frequently the hokage compared this new team to Minato sensei’s, a new fear began to dawn upon Kakashi, as well. How would he ever live up to his former teacher? How could he ensure that these kids would never have to face the same tragedies that his own team had? He knew he was ultimately to blame. Rin, Obito, and himself—their teamwork was weak. And now all but one were dead because of it. He refused to let the same happen here.

               Come sunrise, he had awoken and already started out to the cemetery. He was due to meet his new squad but first he had some important business to take care of. As he stood before Obito’s grave, he thought about his past and his childhood team, everything they had been through and all the tragedy they had faced. “I don’t know if I’m going to be any good at this, Obito” he laughed sadly. “What if they turn out just like we did? What if I screw them up? And Minato sensei…” his voice trailed off. He knew Obito likely couldn’t hear him in the beyond, wherever his spirit went after he had died, but just pretending like he could hear was comforting enough.

               Kakashi wondered if he could procrastinate long enough to avoid this altogether, but he knew that was impossible. A strong gust of wind struck him from the left, flurrying leaves along with it, and he knew then that it was time to go. He bid one last goodbye to Obito, and to Rin as well, and then made his way to the academy.

               Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were the only kids left by the time Kakashi arrived. He could hear them arguing from down the hallway, and almost turned right back around and walked out. Almost.

               He sucked in a deep breath, preparing himself for the chaos that was about to ensue, then slid the door open and stepped inside. Thunk! He froze as an eraser fell atop his head then tumbled to the floor. His new students stared at him in awe, shock, and in terms of Sasuke, disappointment.

               “He fell for it!” Naruto laughed, pointing in amusement. Could this have been an act of teamwork? If so, then he would let it slide and perhaps there was hope for them yet. It was when Sakura burst out apologizing, claiming that try as she might, she couldn’t stop Naruto, that Kakashi’s hope was quickly dashed. He leaned down and considered the eraser for a moment, as well as his own thoughts.

               “Hmmm...how can I put this?” he started thoughtfully, “My first impression of this group: you’re a bunch of idiots.” And on their faces was nothing but defeat.

               He let them go early that day after a brutal attempt at introductions. His initial opinions had yet to shift. Naruto was an absolute idiot, all Sakura cared about was Sasuke, and all Sasuke seemed to care about was brooding behind his tented fingers. He wondered how they would fare with the bell test, but that was for another day. Right now, all he wanted was to relax. He stepped foot in the ANBU living quarter’s lobby, ascended the stairs, and knocked on Rei’s door.

               “So how did things go? Another batch of failures?” she asked as he stepped inside. Kakashi sighed and fell backward onto the bed. “That bad, huh?” Rei asked.

               “I don’t know if I can take this anymore” Kakashi sighed. The rest of the afternoon, he sat confiding in Rei about all of his thoughts and feelings on this new team of his. Unlike in past attempts, there was so much more pressure on him this time around. Naruto was the nine tails jinchuriki: one false move and the entire village could be destroyed once again. He knew he was the only person who could ever train Sasuke thanks to Obito’s sharingan, but that still didn’t erase his concerns. And Sakura would likely only get in the way. She was talentless.

               “Do you think the hokage made a mistake?” Rei asked.

               Kakashi shook his head. “I’m not sure” he replied. “If anything, I think I’m the one who made the mistake. I never should’ve accepted to become a jonin leader in the first place.”

               “You’re so damn hard on yourself” she sighed. Laying back on the bed with him, she stared up at the ceiling and laced her fingers in his. “Listen” she started, “I know you’re tired, and that you don’t think you’re particularly cut out for this. I’d feel the same way if I were you. But I think now is the time to put aside your personal feelings and suck it up.”

               Kakashi turned to face her, a sense of surprise crossing his face. He hadn’t expected her to be so harsh. “Oh?”

               She nodded definitively, propping herself up on her elbows. “You’re the only person who can do this job, Kakashi. Even if you fail, your effort will be ten times better than anyone else’s because there is no one else in Konoha equipped to handle a team like this. You have to do this whether you want to or not.”

               The copy ninja blinked, considering her words. He knew she had the best intentions but if anything, this just added to the weight of the whole thing. He couldn’t afford to fail. Not this time. There was far too much at stake. “Well” he sighed, “I guess it all depends on how they handle the bell test.” A part of him hoped they’d crash and burn. At least that way, he could sneak his way out of this. Fail them so hard, he could disqualify them from the program altogether. Erase any and all hopes of ever becoming ninja. It was foolproof in theory, but in practice he knew it was a dumb move. Ignorance is the source of all evil, as they say, and the last thing he needed was another Nine Tails attack or Uchiha murderer solely because he didn’t want to teach them basic skills. At least Sakura would be useless either way.

               The following morning, Kakashi met with his team of hopefuls in the field by the memorial. He explained the task in the most basic terms—“If you’re not prepared to kill me, you won’t be able to take the bells.” Of course, Naruto charged full speed ahead with kunai in hand, revved up for the fight. Kakashi halted him almost immediately. “I haven’t said start yet” he said, smirking a bit underneath that mask. However, he saw a fire in this kid’s eyes that touched him. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but perhaps these kids were at least vaguely likeable after all. He surveyed the three of them, crouched in anticipation, and for a moment he saw his own youth reflected in them: Naruto’s goofy confidence like Obito’s, Sakura emitting the same compassion as Rin, and Sasuke’s prodigal determination mimicking his own. “And…start!” And they were off.

               The whole morning was a game of cat and mouse showcasing some of the lowest skills Kakashi had ever seen. All Sakura seemed to care about was Sasuke, so much so that she hardly helped at all. Naruto’s teamwork was strong, but only with his own shadow clones. He apparently felt obligated to take everything on by himself. And Sasuke expressed a level of darkness perhaps equal to that of the ANBU, a dark, brooding determination but like the others, his teamwork was weak. Not unexpected of a prodigy, he couldn’t be bothered to give a damn about the others who were so beneath him in skill. By noon, Kakashi’s faith was wavering.

               “When individuals put themselves above the squad, this can lead to failure. And death” Kakashi pressed. If they weren’t understanding it themselves, he was damn well going to make them understand it. He turned and motioned to the memorial stone behind him, explaining that there upon it were written the names of ninja who were all killed in action, many of which were his closest friends. He thought of Obito and Rin, of all the other shinobi who had died in the war. This career was not one to take lightly. So many had been lost. “Eat lunch to build up your strength, but Naruto doesn’t get any.”

               By sunset, Rei had finally finished rearranging her bookshelf. She was just putting the finishing touches on her organizational system when a familiar face poked his head in the door. “I thought you didn’t like an open door policy” Kakashi commented.

               “I don’t” Rei replied, “But it was getting too damn stuffy in here, I needed some air flow.” She adjusted one of the titles on the upper shelf, standing on tiptoes, as Kakashi approached.

               “I see you’ve been working hard” he said, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. Rei turned and nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She had done a good job, her collection meticulously organized into a rainbow of descending size and alphabet. “I’m sure Kaminoki is in ruins without you.”

               Rei swatted at the air dismissively as she took a seat beside her boyfriend. “They’ll live” she replied. She doubted they would want her back anyway, especially after the disaster that was her mother’s birthday. “How did things go today? Did they fail miserably?”

               Kakashi averted his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually…they all passed.”

               “I’m sorry, they what?” Rei asked, mouth gaping. To think, Kakashi Hatake finally passed his first batch of genin. This was unheard of. “Alright, who are you and what you have done with Kakashi?” she added, a slight laugh to her voice.

               The copy ninja shook his head and looked at her with a strange, poignant expression. “Actually, they may not be that bad” he replied. “They’ll need a lot of work, but they did something today that I’ve never seen any of the others do before. They defied me for the sake of the team. And that is why they passed.”

               The redhead scoffed impressively and leaned back on her elbows. “I guess kids today aren’t quite as stupid as I thought they were” she said. “So I guess I should start calling you Kakashi sensei, huh?” She nudged him in the upper arm with a laugh, but Kakashi simply shook his head and tried to restrain himself from showing amusement at her joke.

               “I really never thought this would happen” he said, “But I guess I can’t back out this time. These kids are officially my responsibility.” It was then that the copy ninja laid back on Rei’s bed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighing. “What have I gotten myself into this time?”

               Rei laid back beside him, crossing one bent leg over the other. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. I trust that you’ll do right by them, and guide them in the right direction. Have a little faith in yourself, Kakashi.”

               He wanted to believe her words, he truly did, but after so many years it was hard to think of himself as a teacher. The bell test was easy: just keep them as far away as possible, drill into them what he knows they won’t retain, then send them back to the academy. It was simple, straightforward, a loophole out of committing. Now, however, he had no choice. The weight of these kids’ futures rested on his shoulders. What could he possibly teach them going forward? How to kill off everyone you love and live with the guilt for the rest of your life? He refused to let them face that same kind of pain. He refused to guide them down a dark path of death and destruction.

               Rei could see the coldness return in his eyes, narrowing in deep contemplation. She could tell he was going to the bad place again. She gently reached her hand out to lace her fingers in his, a soft smile touching her lips. “You’ll be fine. I promise.”

               He looked at her then and just the mere sight of her was enough to bring him back to center. He loved that about her. He pressed his forehead against hers, brushed her hair away from her face. In a hushed tone, he replied, “Thank you.” She laughed softly, kissed his cheek through his mask, and gently squeezed his hand. After a beat of silence, however, a question then fell from his lips that he never thought he’d hear, or at least he hoped he wouldn’t.

               “So, when do I get to meet them?”

[tcrryboots]

( BASICS. )

FULL NAME: terrence bruno boot

- TERRENCE // latin origin, roughly translates to “tender heart” - BRUNO // german origin, means “armor” - BOOT // english origin

THE ARMORED HEART; what better way to protect yourself from getting hurt than to hide the fact that you have a heart at all. walls are made to guard the target from any impending damage, and that’s exactly what terry has done. from even when he was boy, terry was used to feeling like there was a hole in his heart, that something was missing. and though he might have searched and tried to compensate for that feeling that was lacking, it never brought him the closure he was looking for. the walls that terry holds around himself are for a reason, and he does so not because he’s not interested in people - but because he doesn’t want to get hurt. underneath all those layers of sarcasm and bitterness, there is someone who is simply craving affection and understanding.

AGE / BIRTHDAY / YEAR: seventeen years old, born january 11th 1980.

this makes terry a capricorn, which is extremely fitting for the type of person that he is. capricorns are known for being responsible and overachievers, but also being a know it all and constantly expecting the worst possible outcomes. i think that terry would exhibit a lot of these, as he is a very smart person, but his cynicism and constant questioning of motivations and outcomes has lead him to become disillusioned. he may not think he is necessarily smarter than his classmates or even professors, but his inquisitive and unorthodox nature in terms of learning - and how people have reacted to that has left him somewhat jaded, and believing he really does know better than anyone else.

ravenclaw capricorns are described as “having dry, ironic wit and are fond of making subtle jokes that only those blessed with intelligence and perception can understand. there’s not much that these wizards miss; they usually know what is going on long before anybody else does.”

GENDER IDENTITY & PRONOUNS: cismale, he/him

SEXUALITY: currently very confused - ultimately pansexual.

up until this point in his life, terry has believed himself to be heterosexual. it’s never crossed his mind that he might be anything else - even as his friends began to experiment and find their truths, he never felt any inklings in that direction. feeling attraction anyone outside the opposite sex has never crossed his mind, and thought somewhat of a narrow minded approach, his relationship with sophie and how hard he fell in love with her seemed to further this inclination. however - surprisingly - it’s also sophie that’s led him to question being heterosexual. seeing her new relationship with fay and knowing that the two of them had been friends the whole time has left terry confused about what his own feelings are, and what it means to be platonic versus romantic. he has a very close relationship with both michael and anthony, closer than most friends typically have - which has left him frustrated and questioning himself. terry is a smart person, but if there’s one bit of knowledge he lacks, it’s self-knowledge and being able to size up his flaws and vulnerabilities. this conclusion, however - that he may not be heterosexual - has just become something else he’s placed on the back burner, figuring that he’ll come to terms with it on another day.

( HISTORY. )

biological family // terry has few fleeting memories of his biological mother, but the ones he has are still some of the most impactful. originally having the name terrence miller, he was born to a muggle woman named eliza, and an unnamed and unknown wizard father. although it was just him and his mother, they had a quietly nice life. the little apartment that the two of them had seemed to be perfect. his mother would go to work in the mornings while he went to day care or went to the sitter’s house, and then in the evening they’d go to the playground or read books or watch movies together. he has those few memories - he remembers his mother reading to him, doing different voices for each of the characters in his books. he remembers the way that his hand felt completely enveloped in hers as he’d follow along behind her down the street. he remembers the way she’d smile and laugh and call him ‘terry-bear’. he remembers her face, remembers her voice.

they’re few and far between, but they’re the little glimpses that he has to hold onto.

eliza was someone who lived a seemingly normal life - she worked in a local office building as the secretary, working enough that she could take home the necessary money to support both terry and herself, but leaving enough time that she could still have a foundational relationship with her son. she had no remaining family left, so it truly was just her and terry in the world. she didn’t really speak of terry’s father ever, even in the instances that he’d ask her why he didn’t have a dad like all the characters in books he’d read, or all the other kids on the playgrounds. she would immediately change the subject or pretend like she hadn’t heard him. as he’s grown older now, he’s wondered if his father and mother had a relationship that caused eliza to recoil at the thought of it, or if his mother had simply wanted a child and never truly met or knew terry’s father.

one day, when terry was six, his mother dropped him off at a neighbor’s house in the way that she normally did before heading off to work. she kissed him on both cheeks before kissing his forehead, and told him that she loved him dearly and she would see him later. he’d gone off to play with the neighbor’s cat as soon as she’d walked out the door, wondering why he couldn’t have a cat of his own and planning to ask his mother the same question when she came back later.

he never got to ask, though - because his mother never came to pick him up from the neighbors, and he hasn’t seen her since.

at first, the neighbors exhausted all options in trying to search for eliza, calling the authorities in fear of the worst. she was always on time to pick terry up, so whatever happened to prevent her must’ve been bad. and they hid this from terry as best as they possibly could, continuing to tell him that his mother had gotten busy with a work project and he was going to stay with them for a little bit longer now. they made up a guest room for him to sleep in, and as days slowly turned into a week, then two - they bought him clothes and toys. they took care of him in the way that his mother typically did - but they weren’t her. terry knew something was happening, because how could his mother have so much work that she’d be gone for so long.

in the end, it seemed like eliza had planned this whole thing, as the authorities were able to find that she hadn’t gone to work that day she’d dropped off terry at the neighbors, but had rather gone back to their apartment, packed all of her belongings, and left the country by train - after that, she seemed to have disappeared completely. the neighbors - who would soon after this discovery become his adoptive parents - sat terry down one day and let him know that he was going to live with them from now on. when he’d asked about where his mother was, they’d both shared uneasy looks with one another, before trying to confirm how much she loved terry and how she asked them to take care of him from now on. it wasn’t a real answer, but even as a little boy, he knew that his mother wasn’t going to come back.

one thing that terry would slowly come to understand was how his father had wizard blood. recently, he put together that perhaps that’s why his mother abandoned him in the way she did. one of the more distinct memories he had - and the only one in which he remembered his mother speaking of the man who was his biological father - was that she’d learned that he had magical blood, which meant terry did as well. the look he remembers wasn’t one of excitement that matched his own when he had imagined himself suddenly having superpowers - but rather confusion and avoidance.

whether or not his mother left him behind because of the fact that he was a wizard and she didn’t want to deal with something like that still remains to be seen. once terry turns eighteen, he has the ability to search into his birth records and see who his father truly is, which would potentially give him a little more information about what the true story is.

adoptive family // the neighbors who had been looking after terry before they adopted him, coincidentally, happened to be a pureblood couple simply living in a muggle neighborhood. his mother had utilized them as a sitter for a while even before she abandoned him there - terry having grown fond of boot family. because terry had no family and his biological father seemingly couldn’t be found, the boots decided that they wanted to adopt him as soon as they had the chance to. they didn’t have any children of their own, but they had begun to regard terry like their own.

changing his last name to boot was something that took him some time to get used to. even when he was adopted and the chance was given to him - he held out and kept his biological mother’s name for the next couple years. what if she came back for him, what if she was looking for him and wouldn’t be able to find him because his name was different? adjusting to the fact that she wasn’t coming back went through many different stage, sticking in denial and anger for the most of it. eventually, he got through it - or in truth, he just repressed whatever negativity he was feeling. there was a sense of blowing off whatever love he still had for her - that it would be easier this way, that it would make things easier if he never even thought about her again. her loss, after all. but the truth is that terry even to this day, though it’s been over a decade, he still thinks about it. he wonders why she just left him like that, he thinks about if she has a new family - a new son to replace him. he wonders if she’s ever thought about him again.

his new mother and father, aaliyah and shiloh boot, were graduates of ilvermorny who had relocated to england just a few years after graduating from school and getting married. shiloh was a descendant from a member of the wampanoag tribes that had worked together in being able to build the school up to what it was today, as well as incorporate native american history and magic into the curriculum at the school. because of this, it was ilvermorny instead of hogwarts that terry would hear about. originally, the boots didn’t know that terry had wizarding blood, and they hid their magic from him, hoping that it would protect him. but when he mentioned it offhandedly to them, it seemed to open up their entire world, and they no longer hid it from him anymore. it was a small thing, but now that terry uses magic on a daily basis, he realizes that both of his parents making the decision to abstain from using it at home was a big deal, showing how much he really meant to them.

initially, his parents had hoped to move back to america so that terry could also attend ilvermorny. they’d been brought to england by shiloh’s decision to pursue a job at wizengamot, and had stayed since then. however, they ultimately decided to stay in england, and terry would attend hogwarts instead.

aaliyah was a writer for the daily prophet, along with shiloh working in wizengamot. they were both extremely intelligent people who looked at things logically and practically - something that began to flood into terry’s way of looking at things and had a way of shaping him into the person that he is today. they both consistently urged him to ask questions and learn differently and to think outside of the box. there was never one right answer to any question, and that mentality has guided terry through his childhood and schooling.

growing up // terry was still very much an inquisitive and imaginative child after being adopted by the boots. he still read book after book after book, he still chased their cat around the house, he still asked as many questions as he possibly could. as he started to grow from wide-eyed boy into a teen, though, the questions that he had would often lay dormant, not wanting to ask them. the question that was usually on his mind had to do with where his mother had gone and why she’d left him behind, but there were plenty others where that came from. with the devouring of information that he usually put himself through, each new fact learned sprouted a dozen different questions.

one thing he quickly picked up on during his first year at hogwarts, though, is that though aaliyah and shiloh might have encouraged his consistent asking of questions, that wasn’t the same for anyone else. seeing the way that people would roll their eyes in class when he’d raise his hand to ask professor mcgonagall how transfiguration was discovered in the first place, or was there everyone anyone who could half-transform themselves into an animal-person hybrid. as this continued on, he became more selective with the questions he’d ask, or even the insight he’d offer. he became careful with his words and what he said aloud. people might have spoken just to simply hear themselves, but terry wanted people to listen when he had something to say, and if that meant speaking only when it was important, that was something that he could deal with.

( HOGWARTS. )

the house // ravenclaw was a place full of people that should’ve been like him, or so he expected. he was expecting people who were going to question things, and be hungry for more information and think about things in different ways. and perhaps there were some, but it was something of a rude awakening that not everyone was - there were the usual teacher’s pets or people who were more common sense than book sense. terry regards the ravenclaw house as his home, and the other housemates as friends - reluctantly. it’s really only anthony and michael, as well as kevin and oliver that terry would truly consider to be his friends. this year has felt like a gaping hole with their two other roommates missing, knowing that they’re being punished for things that they have no control over, and that in itself has made terry even more skeptical of these war efforts. what was the point of this all if they didn’t manage to protect those who truly needed it - where was potter and his friends and the order of the phoenix when it came to saving those who were truly going to need to be saved?

the first love // sophie was different than most people that terry knew. she seemed to have the same hunger for information that he did, a thirst for knowledge and understanding. more than that, she was kind and sweet and genuine and regarded him with such sensitivities. she had a soft smile and a laugh that seemed like it could make the flowers grow - and when terry fell for her, he fell hard. he’s not sure to this day when it happened, since they’d known each other for such a long time - since the first charms class when they were seated next to one another. maybe it was then, maybe it was later - but it wasn’t until fourth year that terry felt the courage to ask her to the yule ball. that ended up being the beginning of everything, one night leading into a true relationship. and it was a gentle romance, the kind that people often talk about when they speak of their first love. first kisses, first love, first everything - including first heartbreak.

eventually they came to a point where they realized that no matter how much they may have cared for one another, their relationship together was not something that was going to last. it was something that they came to on mutual terms, but even then, terry walked away from that relationship with a broken heart and an even more cynical look on love and what it really meant at all. the break up was mutual, yes - but how could he ask someone to stay when it was clear that she had no desire to at all? sophie’s heart wasn’t in it anymore, and the knowledge of that was what left him cold and coming to the mutual break up.

he’d thought that he’d known love from his mother - but she’d left him behind. now, he’d thought that he knew love from his relationship from sophie, but that had an expiration date to it. perhaps immature and stubborn, but after his break up with sophie, terry realized that he didn’t want to be hurt like this again, and figured it would just be better overall if he avoided relationships completely. in reality, he doesn’t want to be this cynical person - he doesn’t want to feel jaded and frustrated when it comes to truly allowing himself to be vulnerable and placing all of his trust in someone else, but he’s a man of logic at heart, and knowing that there’s a potential to be hurt with any relationship - to him, it makes the most sense to completely avoid any opportunities where he could end up feeling this way again.

the unexpected // terry loved sophie - and even though their relationship hasn’t been existent for a long time now, there’s still an affection towards her. he’ll still regard her with care and respect, that will never change - and she’s always have a place in his heart. most people choose to have nothing to do with their ex anymore - especially if they’ve moved on. but for terry, something about seeing sophie with fay recently, and knowing that they’ve been friends the whole time has led him to begin questioning all of his relationships.

it’s true - he and michael and anthony have a closer relationship than most typical friends. and perhaps that’s why he chalked certain things up to just being close friends. but somewhere along the way, he found he was looking at anthony a little… differently. not bad, but just differently than the way he’d regard michael. terry felt softer around anthony - felt comfortable enough to let his guard down in the way that he wouldn’t with many other people. there was no need to put up a facade he might’ve done around others.

he felt safe around anthony.

terry had never considered the idea that what he felt for anthony could be anything other than platonic. there were certain clues along the way - how his eyes would linger for a moment when anthony would stretch his arms and his sweater would expose a strip of skin, how he sought out anthony when he needed someone, how he thought about what it would feel like to kiss him. all of those were things that had crossed terry’s mind, but never once did he believe it could be anything other than friendly feelings - after all, it must’ve been something that everyone felt towards their friends, right?

but the truth was - he didn’t feel that way towards michael, which was the flaw in the idea. he loved michael - but not in a way that he cared about anthony. it was different. that realization has left terry in a bit of a panic. all this time he’s thought that he knew himself pretty well - and then this revelation hits.

at this point, terry’s not sure what to do about it - so he’s doing the only thing he knows how to… he’s repressing it. maybe if he swallows down those feelings, they’ll go away. he’s sure that it’s onesided, and opening himself up for the pain of rejection once again is too heavy to shoulder. more than that, the thought of ruining the friendship between himself and anthony and michael is far too worse - he can’t go through with losing someone else like that, and if it means getting over whatever this is that he feels right now, so be it.

( WAR. )

stance on the war // terry is not someone who would usually be found on the front lines of a battle. he’s more of a strategist, as whatever he does or says always has a reason behind it. for him, it’s important that he understand completely what he’s doing - he’s never been the type to impulsively jump into a situation just because his gut tells him to or because everyone else is doing it.

for that reason, terry’s feelings on the war are mixed. on one hand, he understands the gravity of it, and knows that as a halfblood, his own safety and wellbeing is what’s at stake. and sure, maybe that makes him a little bit more invested than he typically would’ve been. but on the other hand, terry knows that he’s just a seventeen year old boy - he’s not harry potter, he’s not out to save the whole world from destruction because he knows that it’s impossible.

he wants to be involved, and there’s a part of him that knows he needs to help in some way - but he doesn’t know what good it’ll even do.

because of his family’s extensive connections to ilvermorny, before the school year even began, there were heavy talks of the family moving back to america. his parents were set on it, brows furrowed in concern and stress at the thought of what this meant - they were purebloods, they kept their heads down in what they did. it might’ve been harder working for a death-eater controlled ministry, but they weren’t the targets. it was terry who was the one at risk in this whole thing.

he waved it off, saying it couldn’t be as bad as it seemed. the family received plenty of letters from shiloh’s extended family in massachusetts, saying that the family needed to relocate. even as recent as this past holiday break, arguments flew over the holiday table as to why terry was being so stubborn about not relocating.

he didn’t have an exact answer - because what stake did he even have in this war? but he knows that the truth of it all means if he weren’t there, he wouldn’t be there to watch anthony and michael’s back, and that’s something that would never happen.

feelings about dumbledore’s army // when dumbledore’s army first came along, terry went with michael and anthony to it because he wanted to learn more. he felt like he had no stakes within the game, no matter what potter might’ve said. granted, at that point in time, things weren’t as bleak as they are now - but to him, it was more about learning new things and strengthening his current spells over the rebellion.

with the current iteration of the group, terry reluctantly rejoined - not for the desire to help or brand himself alongside the rest of them, but more because anthony and michael had joined already, and wherever they went, terry should’ve been there too. however, this time around, terry knows it’s about more than just learning. there’s a target on their backs - one that could lead to torture or worse. for that reason, he wishes that longbottom and weasley would take a moment or two to think about what they’re doing before they jump headfirst into whatever plan they’ve concocted. when the walk out came along, terry was one of the only ones who refused to go along with it, pointing out how it would do nothing more than make things worse for them. longbottom and weasley were convinced that it would go off well - and yet, the decision to push that idea on everyone was what ultimately led to michael being tortured in the way that he was.

terry going to meetings usually ends up with him sitting in the back alongside anthony and michael, rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath about how neville’s ideas aren’t logical. he’ll offer his opinions from time to time, but because he doesn’t go along with the rest of the group, the usual reactions he’ll get from it are less than stellar. so more often than not, he’ll just sit there and shut up.

relationship with the carrows // terry has despised the carrows since the first day that they were at hogwarts. they were brutish and more importantly - uninformed about the subjects that they were teaching. he was at hogwarts still to learn, and the last thing that he needed was to get highly inaccurate information. considering that terry reluctantly hands in his homework, sometimes choosing to not even do so at all - something that the majority of his professors expect at this point - he eventually drew the ire of the carrows for electing to not engage in whatever assignments or homework they gave, and he wasn’t afraid to voice why he wasn’t going to do it. through the six years that he’d been going through classes, he’d somehow manage to talk his way out of not getting detentions for not doing assignments. the carrows weren’t as interested in that, and amycus seems to get delight out of the days that he doesn’t bring his work to class or refuses to participate in class demonstrations.

he realizes that it doesn’t make sense to fight in that way, because it’s not doing any good or proving a point - but if terry just succumbed to whatever they wanted, he wouldn’t be terry anymore. more recently, however, his views towards this whole thing - including the war - have changed a bit. the night that michael was taken from their dorm, leaving anthony and him behind helpless to do anything lit something within terry he hadn’t felt the whole time previously. it was small and maybe insignificant, but being a witness to that spectacle and spending the rest of the night with anthony, the two of them in a panic and trying to reassure one another that michael would be okay was something that he didn’t want to live through again.

so his relationship is a tricky one - he doesn’t feel particularly moved like some others to simply fight with them because he doesn’t like the carrows and what they stand for. but the damage they’ve done and the threat that they pose to the few people that terry truly cares about? that’s what makes everything different - that’s what moves him to care.

( STATISTICS. )

alignment: chaotic neutral mbti: istj enneagram: 5w6 temperament: melancholic extracurriculars: slug club, potions club, dumbledore’s army character parallels: daria morgendorffer (daria), dana scully (x files), ron swanson (parks and rec), amy brookheimer (veep), leonard mccoy (star trek), ray holt (brooklyn 99), jim halpert (the office)

[leafshining]

Cycle (Tredd Furia x Reader)

Is this self-indulgent? Hell yeah. Is it any good? Probably not, but I’m still proud of it.

Someone with pride and someone with reticence aren’t supposed to get along.

Tredd Furia, that one person you always got caught up in an endless cycle with. Five years old and Tredd spent the next three years pushing you off swings, intentionally making you trip, stealing snacks, the usual mean kid on the playground and had his regular group of delinquents with Luche Lazarus sitting at the top. Pelna Khara was probably the nicest out of them, he was the only one who stayed behind to make sure you were n’t hurt or crying.

All three years in junior high you were stuck with Tredd, he was always there. He pestered you on notes and homework he didn’t do, annoying you to death with charms leading you to ultimately let him copy your work. When high school rolled around, you were absolutely ready to throw in the damn towel of being around Tredd, but nope, turns out he was at the same school, teacher advisory group, and even in some classes. It even lead to many peers speculating you were his girlfriend or at least one of his fuck toys. Of course, you denied, but it didn’t really improve the situation when Tredd said nothing.

Tredd Furia and you were always caught in an endless cycle.

But during the ending days of high school, Tredd would be absent and apparently, he was writing diplomas from home. Was that even possible? But you were ecstatic that you didn’t have to see his shit-eating grin, the cycle was broken, done, dead.

Unfortunately, that was the fate of your home: broken, done, dead.

They came in without warning, red lights, blaring noises, people running, bullets piercing people. All you could do was run and flee. Fleeing all the way into the heart of the Crown City. Somehow, you made it into becoming one of the esteemed guards of Lucis, the Kingsglaive. There, you reveled in the use of white magic, learning how to dispel daemons and healing wounds.

When you entered the briefing room along with a few other recruits, your heart leaped for joy at the sight of Pelna and Luche. But you were mesmerized for a moment when you saw Tredd, you really wanted to say something nicer, but it was truly his scar that caught your eye. He flashed a snarky grin and you turned away, feeling like you were thrown in the whole mass of awkward like high school. Thankfully, you didn’t have to spend much time with them because Glaive duty was being dismissed early.

So you decided to take a load off at a common bar you heard the glaives talk about. The Galahdian trio, Pelna, and Luche.

“Never thought we’d see you as a soldier, (First name).” Pelna snickered.

“Oh? The last time I remember, I beat your brother’s ass back home.” (First name) sipped her drink.

“High school sweethearts?” Libertus suggested.

“Ew.”

“Hey! (First name), that’s mean!”

The table erupted in laughter, it had been a while since you felt the safe security that family could offer. That was until a certain someone decided to come over. Tredd Furia had come to make himself known around the table, he was welcomed and kept conversation sparking.

“Hey, Pelna,” Tredd asked.

“Yeah what?” He replied.

“I thought high school sweethearts was mine and (First name’s), don’t go in and steal what ain’t even yours.” Tredd flashed a smirk to Pelna who in turn held up his hands and you raised an eyebrow at the idiot called Tredd Furia.

“Past locker room banter from high school and alcohol is getting to you, Tredd.” You huffed and looked away with uninterest.

“But you weren’t denying anything, hmm?” His chest was puffed with pride. Eyes resembling much of a hawk’s ready to swoop in for a kill.

Now, keep in mind it was 1 a.m and you had a good amount of alcohol in your system. At this point, solid, well thought out, reasonable judgment was a hit or miss at this point. You just wanted Tredd off your back so why not offer him your butt?

“Okay then, who’s place?”

“What?” Libertus gawked.

“What?” Crowe and Nyx said in unison.

“What?!” Pelna screamed.

Luche’s only response was a shrug and raised his drink to his lips.

A carnal smirk appeared on Tredd’s face, eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas Day. One hand wandered to your thigh and caressed it with obvious intent.

“Oh wow, never took you as a bad girl, (First name). Think you can handle all of this?”

You huffed “Think you can impress all of this?”

A moment’s victory was celebrated when Tredd blinked wildly, then recomposing himself. But it didn’t stop the whole table when they “oohed” and “aahed” rambunctiously at your response, even Yamachang clapping his hands behind the grill at your sudden boldness to the cockiest glaive.

“Alright, I’ll hand it that you can sass me better than Crowe, but I’ll get you back.” Tredd grinned as he sat up.

That night was a wrestle, the cocky idiot grabbing your wrists and forcing a heated kiss out of you as soon as you were thrown onto his bed. He knew where to push your buttons and how. After all, he was the king of manwhoring. The two of you rolled about, tangling in each other to see who could leave the most hickeys. But you had to admit, Tredd was skilled in all areas, bringing your body to absolute oversensitivity.

This relationship of being friends with benefits continued for a long while, in an endless, lust-filled cycle.

You were in his apartment again, after a rather dangerous mission, having you nearly die and Tredd just managing to make it in time. Sex was...different, not that it was dull, sex with Tredd was never dull. He made efforts in buying toys to up the game, while you would dress up in “interesting” lingerie to please him.

This relationship had become both of your drugs, it was addicting, and had all the benefits being played out. This cycle had become an insatiable need that could only be temporarily be relieved through each other.

So why was his touch different? Why did he choose to swallow his prideful quips? Why did he choose to be so...tender?

“Are you alright?” You whispered softly, cupping his cheek without the running scar down his face. You had learned that he didn’t outright hate that scar, but he showed dislike to you ghosting your fingers over it.

He took a deep breath “What have you fucking done?”

You blinked up at him, not knowing what those words meant. He looked away and slapped a hand over his eyes and began to laugh almost mournfully “What have you fucking done to me?”

“I don’t think I follow-”

He forced a kiss and you hesitated in surprise before kissing back. You could feel it, he was really trying to be rough. How he bit your lip, his tongue pushing yours back.

But it wasn’t enough. The two of you knew each other’s bodies, knew what the other could do, knew what the other was capable of. You both knew each other. Soon it was a kiss you never thought you would ever receive from this absolutely, idiotic, incorrigible...guy. It was like a couple kissing in the rain, or a couple at an airport, or a couple at the climax of prom night.

“Tredd…” You breathlessly called after jerking away for air.

He looked at you with lazy eyes, you were settled on his hips and he reached out to play with your hair. So you nestled on his scarred chest, humming in the crook of his neck. Perhaps after dealing with him for so long, you just seemed to adjust to his weird behaviour.

“I can’t believe you reduced me to this. Getting me all worked up about you, freaking me the fuck out with your stupid stunts.” He snorted.

You giggled and looked up at him “...Thanks, Tredd, it means a lot.”

You leaned in to enjoy another tender kiss with him, and you could feel that smirk form on his face. Without any thought you cupped his face out of the sudden rush of joy, but when his stiffened you jerked back to see his shocked face.

“I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean to touch. I’m sorry!” You squawked while squishing your eyes shut.

But to your surprise, he grabbed your hand and placed it on the paled skin, it resembled a lightning strike much like the magic he fancied. You traced it slowly with your thumb and pressed your face close to his.

“...It happened when those damn Nifs came. Luche was with me, saw me turn around like an idiot and all we had was our survival knives. You had no idea how much I wanted to fucking fight, but turning around was got me screaming bloody murder. The MT shot it’s grapple hook, then my side. Luche...that bastard dragged me all the way.”

He was shaking his head, looking in different directions, making random hand gestures, blinking profusely. For once, the Tredd Furia that you had known for all your life had become different.

“Why me? You’re telling the nobody, the goody-two-shoes, the girl who got walked all over. You’re telling me all of this...bullshit that you never fucking deserved. How come?” You asked while looking him dead in the eye.

Tredd met your intense gaze and laughed “Probably because I’m the son of a bitch that walked all over you in the first place.”

“I couldn’t stand you. You were a real dick.”

He laughed like a teenager, throwing his head back and his voice cracking. He lunged forth and rolled around with you in the sheets. His kissed you again.

“A cycle of love and hate hmm? Let’s change that.”

That cycle that had gone on forever, had changed forever. The endlessness was finally gone. Tredd Furia was still a dick to most of his Glaive comrades but left you alone. Other days, you would intentionally seek him out and spend your duties by his side. The news wasn’t a secret to most of the Glaive after a month, but they preferred to watch on with tiny smiles. Pelna and Luche occasionally sharing fist bumps from time to time while looking Tredd dead in the eye, while you pretended not to notice. The cycle had broken, done, dead.

Just like Insomnia when the imperial army attacked, just like your home.

Just like Tredd: broken, done, dead.

All you could do was stand over his corpse with a plain face, not knowing why tears weren’t prickling. The man who was the cause of your cycle was a done corpse. You thought back to that night where he wore his heart on his sleeve, perhaps that was not where your cycle ended. A turmoil of indescribable emotion was reeling inside your chest the more you stared.

You were still alive and feeling. Tredd was dead, in the land where you could never reach from where you were.

And that's how your’s and Tredd’s cycle abruptly came to a permanent stop.

[theonetheycallsagey]

Forge Your Path

I’m really excited, but at the same time very nervous about this one for three reasons. One, I’m not used to writing in a first person POV. Two, it’s more fairy tale-ish than what I’m used to writing. And three, it’s introducing with a new team! But anyways, here’s the story of Harley Onyx, and the beginnings of Team RGHL!

I grew up outside kingdom walls. Not in Menagerie either, I'm not a faunus, even though my dad always said I had the drive of a ram. I lived south of Vale in a small village that most people don't even know exists. Some tell about it through stories, but not many actually believe it. It just didn't make sense. Many had tried before to expand this far away from the safety of Vale, but they all failed, even Mountain Glenn. So, what would keep some shabby group from falling to the Grimm like the rest of them?

Well, there's a reason why my village is called The Forge.

See, we weren't the first to try and live out here. When they tried to extend past the mountains, the miners came first, all with ambitions to make it big and find the first dust reserves in the "new world." But, an accident involving a huge pocket of fire dust ended up killing any hopes of being the next Schnee. When the wave of families looking to settle came next, what they came upon was truly an astonishing sight. A flame that could never be extinguished, raging uncontrollably from right beyond the heart of the mountain chain.

But, rather than move away and start somewhere else, the wanderers used the fire as the ultimate fuel. Being a group of experienced craftsmen and blacksmiths, they saw this as the perfect opportunity to play to their strengths and carve out a new beginning. They took whatever metal they had with them for supplies and built around the fire. After countless days of slaving over the fire, bending and warping metal, they had eventually housed it and turned it into one big forge. This served as a central hub for a village grow around, and when they found vast ore deposits in the mountains, the forge itself began to grow as well. It eventually evolved into a large workshop, with the men of the village constantly working in it.

Now, they knew that no matter what they accomplished, it wouldn't mean anything if the Grimm attacked. They needed to have some sort of defense against the creatures of darkness. So, they put their skills to good use and crafted some of the finest weapons made by human hands. These had an attention to detail that the factories in the kingdoms couldn't even compare to. Each one was specifically made for its wielder, a bond built through heat and hearth.

Sounds like a fairy tale, huh? Yeah, I heard Remnant has a knack for stuff like that. But it's true. I should know. I lived there.

You wouldn't be able to tell though. I was always interested in modern life inside the kingdoms, especially Vale. I dressed differently than the other kids in the village. I talked differently. I acted differently. I always saw pictures of the cars that ran through the downtown areas and thought they were amazing. I asked my dad how cool it would be if I ever got the chance to work on those. He would just smile and shake his head at me. But, for as much as I thought about life somewhere else, my heart always belonged to The Forge.

I've always been a mischievous little firecracker, and my parents quickly realized that there was only one place that could tame me: the workshop. It was like a playground for me when I was a kid. I would constantly be rummaging through my father's toolboxes like it was a toy chest. While he would be busy maintaining the machines that controlled the flame as Chief Blacksmith, I would be building whatever contraptions my imagination could come up with. I moved to the rhythm of the Forge, a constant beat of hammers meeting metal. It meant hard work was in the air. I felt like I was a part of that, and it was a part of me.

But, just because we were able to defend from the Grimm, it didn’t stop them from coming to tear us apart. I remember one attack when I was about 11 years old, when it seemed like the Grimm came in 3 times the numbers they usually do. My father stood guard at the gates of the workshop, protecting the families who couldn't fight for themselves, myself and my mother included. It was honestly pretty calm from inside, until a rumble came from what sounded like mere feet from beyond the door. Suddenly, a harsh impact buckled the door, and another blew it off the hinges completely, giving way for a Beowolf to creep in.

"Mom? Where's Dad?" I asked my mother with a wavering voice, but all she could do was hold me tight. I looked around, and everyone was matching my fear and uncertainty. These people don't deserve this fate. No one does.

Against my mom's wishes, I broke free from her grasp and made my way through the crowd. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do, but I knew I had to do something! I reached into one of the drawers that the crowd shuffled me toward and grabbed a black gem, one of many found during supply hunting. My terrified orange eyes shined through its dark color, almost blending into the illuminating flame. I turned to see the Grimm closing in on a frightened family. I saw my family in their place. Acting on pure adrenaline at this point, I threw the gem at the Beowolf's head.

Its attention drew to me as the gem bounced between its eyes. It bellowed a menacing roar. I think my mom yelled my name, but I couldn't remember. None of my senses were working. Suddenly, the beast charged forward. I closed my eyes.

The only thing I had braced for was hearing a thud as the Beowolf collapsed with a bullet in the back of the head. On the other side of it was my father, shotgun in one hand with his other covered in blood over a gaping wound. He didn't say a word. He just staggered to me and held me until it seemed like all the commotion outside had stopped. The Grimm had done their damage, but we survived. That was clear, because that night, the never-ending rhythm of the forge continued, business as usual.

That night, I caught up with my father after my mother bandaged him up. It was weird seeing him in bed listening to the beat instead of taking part in it. I didn't know what to say at first. All I could do was hug him before finally choking out of an apology for acting so stupidly. But, he met me with a soft smile.

"Hush, sweetheart. You saved lives today. I'm so proud of you," he said. He looked off into the distance and breathed a heavy sigh. "I didn't think this day would come this quickly."

"Huh? What do you mean, Dad?" I said.

"You will leave me and your mother one day. You will leave the Forge." I couldn't believe what he just said. I was so loyal to my home and the people I had grown up with that I took leaving as an insult. That was, until he continued on.

"You will share your bravery with the world."

I had no idea what that meant at first. But, my friends heard about what I did against the Beowolf that day, and they started telling me stories. Ones about these people called huntsmen and huntresses, and how they go around Remnant protecting people who can't protect themselves against the Grimm. I was honestly amazed that people like this existed. They sounded incredible.

The thought of becoming a huntress persisted in the back of mind for years, but I was always scared of leaving home. This small pocket of land no one knew existed was all I knew. But, this small pocket of land no one knew existed was all that knew of me, and I wanted to see the world and change that. So, when I became old enough, I told my dad my intentions of becoming a huntress.

He heard the ambition in my voice and saw the excitement in my eyes and could only respond with a solemn nod and that smile he'd always give me. He led me into the workshop, and after digging through tools, he grabbed his trusted wrench. It was used on the machinery that maintained the fire, and it was large enough to where it could fit over one's shoulders and usually required first-time wielders two hands to hold.

But, this one looked different. The edges were sharper. It felt lighter in my hands. The other end look more fashioned to grip like a handle. Then it hit me. My father fashioned his favorite wrench to be my first huntress weapon. It was an axe!

I was astounded when I held it in my hands the first time. I gave it a haphazard swing before my father swiftly intervened. He then clicked a button on it, and suddenly the wrench transformed. In my hands was now a lever-action shotgun, with the ram horns symbolizing The Forge brandished on the side of it. I glanced up at my father, and I saw the same look in his eyes that I saw that night after the attack, one that carried as close to tears as someone as hardened as my dad could be. I could barely muster out a thank you as I hugged him before he left me to fiddle with my new toy.

The next day, after my last home cooked meal, I told my mom goodbye. It was hard turning back and seeing her cry as my dad and I walked off towards the mountains. It took us several hours to hike to the nearest place where a ship could pick me up, and we spent the whole time sharing stories that we had never told each other before. We spent that night in a lodge, and then a ship came early next morning to bring me into Vale.

I looked my dad in the eyes, and for the first and only time in my life I noticed a tear fall down his face. I gave him one last hug and vowed to make him proud and tell him about all the places I've seen the next time I come home to visit. Then, with my weapon on my back, I climbed onto the ship, and it took me to places I had never imagined seeing. I spent the whole trip with eyes glued to the window. The views were breathtaking all the way to Beacon, and seeing the campus was like a whole another world to me.

I stepped off and took my first steps outside of my village, alongside hundreds of other prospective huntsmen and huntresses with the same goals as me. This was going to be my home? Look at all the people. There's no way I can do this. I froze in my place, half terrified and half stunned at the beauty and enormity of it all. Part of me wanted to just turn around and go home, but my feet subconsciously kept moving forward. To the beat of hammers meeting metal.

Harley turned to the three girls she called teammates and all of them were too astounded to speak. Each of them were clad in their pajamas, and they had gathered around to tell stories in what Harley was quick to call a slumber party.

"Harley," Lotus said, finally speaking up after several moments of silence. "That can't be true. Are you just messing with us?"

"No, there's no way," team leader Royce said, her skunk tail wagging slightly. "She can't be making this up. It's too crazy. No one would think of this." Harley nodded and gave Royce a playful nudge.

"I'm no liar, Royce. You know that," she responded with a giggle. "So, who's next?" The fourth girl in the room, one with frost blue hair tied into a ponytail and a metal headband reminiscent of a medieval knight's headwear, spoke up, a hint of a British accent traceable in her voice.

"I suppose I'll go next."

[aion-rsa]

Christmas Movies: A Complete Holiday Streaming Guide

https://ift.tt/3q2Rba0

So, maybe there isn’t enough Christmas and holiday programming on TV for your liking. We get it. You can’t be stuck at the mercy of broadcasters and cable networks all the time, not when there are so many Christmas movies to watch, right?

Read more

TV

Christmas Movies and TV Specials: Full 2020 Schedule

By Den of Geek Staff

Movies

Christmas Movies: A Complete Holiday Streaming Guide

By Alec Bojalad and 1 other

Well, because we’re a little crazy, we’re working on an index of every Christmas movie and other piece of seasonally appropriate holiday-themed film available on various streaming services. Just bookmark this page, scroll on through the alphabetical list, hit the links, and it can be Christmas whenever you need it to be! And if you spot some stuff that we missed, just let us know in the comments and we’ll see about getting it all added for you.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Hulu

What is it about the holidays that makes it feel like we’re on the verge of the end of the world? Regardless, if you’re going to capture Christmas season ennui in a movie, you might as well go all out. That’s exactly what British holiday film Anna and the Apocalypse aims to do. Anna is a Christmas zombie musical comedy. Because why have one genre when you can have them all?

Read more

TV

The Best Christmas Movies Available on Hulu

By Alec Bojalad

Movies

Run Review: Sarah Paulson Terrifies as Mommie Dearest in Hulu Movie

By Don Kaye

Ella Hunt stars as Anna Shepherd, a secondary school graduate who plans to embark on a grand travel tour before heading to university. Those plans come to a grinding halt, however, when a zombie infection starts to spread throughout her town. Anna gets together with some friends as they try to survive both the holidays and the encroaching zombie apocalypse. 

Black Mirror: White Christmas (2014)

Netflix

Those looking for Christmas cheer won’t find it here. Black Mirror isn’t necessarily known for its happy endings and it’s 2014 Christmas special, “White Christmas” is no different.

Still, there is an audience out there that definitely wants this level of Scroogery. Plus it stars Jon Hamm! “White Christmas” follows three seemingly disparate stories. Jon Hamm is Matt, a mysterious man with a mysterious job who viewers watch in three different environments: once as a gross pick-up artist helper, once as a digital “cookie” salesman, and once as an occupant in a cozy cabin on Christmas Day.

What do all of these have to do with Christmas? Watch and find out. Then weep for the collapse of humanity.

A Charlie Brown Christmas Special (1965)

Apple TV+ – Arriving Dec. 4

“A Charlie Brown Christmas Special” is one of the most enduring holiday classics in the pop culture canon. Originally airing in 1965 on CBS, it was an experiment from The Coca-Cola Company to see if Charles M. Schulz’s beloved Peanuts characters could carry their charm over to a new medium…and boy could they.

The half-hour picks up with Charlie Brown down in the dumps and unable to capture the Christmas spirit. Thankfully, his friends know just what to do. Soon ol’ Chuck is directing the school Christmas play and nabbing a pitiful Christmas tree with Linus. This is “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special’s” first year as primarily a streaming entity, though Apple TV+ is allowing it to air on PBS on Dec. 13.

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Netflix

If a Christmas movie is only as good as its Santa (surely someone out there abides by this rule), then Netflix’s The Christmas Chronicles is one heck of a Christmas movie. This family film produced by Chris Columbus features Kurt Russell ascending to his final form as Hot Santa Claus. 

Read more

TV

New on Netflix: November 2020 Releases

By Alec Bojalad

TV

The Best Christmas Movies Available on Netflix

By Alec Bojalad

The plot follows two children who are struggling to believe in the magic of Christmas after the death of their firefighter father. But the spirit of the season seizes them when they encounter the ultimate stand-in father figure: Kurt Russell Santa. The Christmas Chronicles is your classic, by-the-book family holiday yarn with a fun actor at the center and elevated production quality. Its sequel is also available to stream on Netflix. 

Doctor Who Christmas Specials

HBO Max

If the British know one thing, it’s tea. If they know two things, it’s tea and Christmas specials. Many big-time U.K. television shows have their own excellent holiday specials. Decades-old sci-fi institution Doctor Who, however, takes the cake when it comes to Christmas excellence.

HBO Max has 12 seasons worth of Doctor Who Christmas specials dating all the way back to the modern continuation’s first Doctor, Christopher Eccleston. Each episode is an hour-long treat of Doctor Who and Christmas goodies and should the joy of watching them ever peter out, there are plenty of bonus materials to watch as well.

Frozen (2013)

Disney+

Frozen, an animated movie you might have heard of, technically takes place during summer. But it sure doesn’t feel that way after Queen Elsa freezes the fjord and belts songs about the snowmen she and her sister want to build. Indeed, there is hardly a more festive film for the holidays than this celebration of self-love and familial love. Rather than being the story of a princess falling for a prince, Frozen is about the love between two sisters, Elsa (Idina Menzel) and Anna (Kristen Bell), and how that bond can transcend fear, isolation, and lifelong trauma like losing your parents at an early age.

Read more

Movies

Christmas Movies on Disney+ Streaming Guide

By David Crow

Movies

Frozen 2: ‘Show Yourself’ Song Was Almost Cut from Movie

By David Crow

Fairly sophisticated stuff for an animated movie, Frozen became a bona fide classic in large part due to its songbook by Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez, with “Let It Go” standing out as an anthem for self-empowerment and the realization of identity. And if you overlook the fact you heard that song probably five thousand times, it still has that same resonance, which is why children are drawn to its message, as well as Elsa’ irresistible ice powers brought to dazzling life. When you factor in Anna’s own awkward charm, the power the two radiate together is warming in any season.

Home Alone (1990)

Disney+

Another holiday classic from Fox, Home Alone remains a millennial touchstone for this time of year, and a gift that keeps on giving. Yes, everyone remembers the end where Macaulay Culkin tortures two bumbling goons (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) as if they’re Elmer Fudd, but the movie has a lot more going for it than just slapstick sociopathy. Indeed, when Kevin McCallister isn’t being a sadist, this film has an earnest appeal about celebrating the fantasy of a kid living by himself at home.

When his parents leave Kevin McAllister home alone for Christmas—it was an accident!—he has a luxury house to himself that he lounges about as if it were a giant playground with free ice cream, pizza, and R-rated movie viewing parties. Things go a little pear-shaped though when crooks try to rob the joint, but he handles that in glib fashion, all while sweetly pining for his mother. In fact, as you get older, Catherine O’Hara’s trials and tribulations to get back home to her baby boy in time for Christmas are as amusing as Kevin’s hijinks. (John Candy! Polka music!! Polka Christmas music!?!) But probably the reason this is a real classic has a lot to do with John Williams’ eternally heartwarming score.

Into the Dark: Pooka! (2018)

Hulu

The concept of Hulu horror anthology series Into the Dark is a simple one. Starting in October, every month would see the release of a new horror movie, usually revolving around a theme or holiday within that month. So naturally December 2018’s entry, Pooka!, brings its chills to Christmas. Directed by Nacho Vigalondo from a script by Gerald Olson, Pooka! introduces one of the cutest creepiest critter since Gremlins.

Struggling actor Wilson Clowes (Nyasha Hatendi) takes on a job operating a giant fur suit of a toy company’s upcoming holiday season to, Pookah. Pookah has two modes, naughty or nice. Soon Wilson comes to find that the suit is starting to effect his overall mood and the naughty mode may last outside the confines of the suit.

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

Amazon

Now if you could only watch one Christmas movie every holiday season, it’s gotta be this one, right? It’s a Wonderful Life has been a winter staple ever since…shortly after its 1946 release. The film infamously took a little while for audiences to catch on they they were in the presence of a classic. And now it lives on Amazon for the time being as the go-to spot for holiday cheer.

If you haven’t watched this movie in a while, it can be surprising just how tenuously tied the whole thing is to Christmas. Though the story of George Bailey begins on Christmas Eve 1945, the movie takes audiences throughout the entirety of his life, Christmas Carol-style. But of course, in the end the angels have gotten their wings and Christmas is in full thrall. Certainly, It’s a Wonderful Life will be all over the traditional TV calendar, but it’s nice to know that it’s on streaming as well for those who just can’t wait.

Klaus (2019)

Netflix

Since the hallowed days of Rankin/Bass stop-motion animated Christmas specials, there hasn’t been much movement or innovation in the realm of animated Christmas movies. Klaus, written and directed by Sergio Pablos, seeks to change all that in Klaus.

This crisply animated feature serves as an alternative history version of the story of Santa Claus. Jesper (Jason Schwartzman) proves himself to be the worst student as a postal academy and is sent to the North Pole where his lack of letter-delivering abilities won’t do anyone any harm. There he discovers Klaus (J.K. Simmons), a mysterious carpenter who lives alone and likes to make handmade toys. Sounds pretty familiar. 

Klaus is both a technical marvel and an effective little Christmas story.

Last Christmas (2019)

HBO Max

Shortly after taking in the cheerful trailer for Emma Thompson and Paul Feig’s 2019 holiday hit Last Christmas, the Internet stood up as one and agreed on an important point: there’s a twist in here, isn’t there? And of course, the Internet was right…as it so often is.

Last Christmas features a very prominent and important twist in its plot that you’ll have to watch the movie (or read Wikipedia) to figure out. But twist or no, this is a perfectly enjoyable entry into the modern Christmas canon. Emilia Clarke takes some time off from torching King’s Landing to star as Kate, an aspiring young singer going through hard times around Christmas. That all changes when she meets the alluring and devastatingly handsome Tom (Henry Golding). What follows is a minor Christmas miracle.

The Santa Clause (1994)

Disney+

Tim Allen really was on top of the world in the 1990s, wasn’t he? The star of ABC’s popular Home Improvement sitcom, and just a year away from becoming a Pixar legend in Toy Story, Allen could get any family entertainment greenlit. Thus enters Disney’s The Santa Clause, a movie that posits “what if Tim Allen became Santa?” That’s pretty much what happens when Allen’s schmo-y Scott Calvin inadvertently is responsible for the death of the previous Santa who slips off his roof.

The consequence of Scott’s mistake is he puts on the red and white outfit to finish Santa’s sleigh ride that night, much to the delight of his son Charlie (Eric Lloyd). Little does he know that by donning the suit, he has entered into a “Santa Clause” which means he becomes the big guy—literally so as he gains 100 pounds of weight and a white beard overnight. It’s still amusing now, but our favorite bit will always be David Krumholtz as the no-nonsense North Pole elf from Brooklyn.

Surviving Christmas (2004)

Amazon

One enduring hallmark of the Christmas movie genre is how bad many of its entries are. Of course, there are some well-executed classics that command one’s attention and respect, but for the most part they all blend together into a pleasant cheerful mush that can be on in the background while one decorates their tree.

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TV

The Best Christmas Movies Available on Amazon Prime

By Alec Bojalad

TV

Amazon Prime Video New Releases: November 2020

By Alec Bojalad

But even by the dismal standards of Christmas movies, 2004’s Surviving Christmas is particularly dismal. This Ben Affleck/James Gandolfini starring vehicle very much earns its 7% Rotten Tomatoes score. In a way, however, that makes it a must-watch holiday classic. Affleck stars as a rich advertising executive looking to reconnect with his past. What better way to do so than to pay the current occupants of his childhood home to spend Christmas with them? Much James Gandolfini grumpiness ensues.

A Very Brady Christmas (1988)

Hulu

A Very Brady Christmas was a 1988 made-for-TV movie that brought together the entire original cast of The Brady Bunch save for Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady). Olsen was on her honeymoon at the time and I cant’ figure out if that’s a great reason or a weird reason to miss a once-in-a-generation TV event.

A Very Brady Christmas centers on a very simple and very relatable concept: getting the whole family back together for Christmas. This is a hard enough logistical challenge for a “normal” family, and a damn near impossible one for a family with six kids. Will the Bradys be able to pull it off? Watch and find out!

Yes Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus (1991)

HBO Max

“Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” is one of the most enduring sentences in Christmas history. It comes from an 1897 newspaper editorial in which The Sun (of New York) editor Francis Pharcellus Church responds affirmatively to young Virginia O’Hanlan’s question about the existence of Santa Claus.

Read more

Movies

Wonder Woman 1984: Does HBO Max Premiere End Theatrical Releases as We Know Them?

By David Crow

TV

HBO Max New Releases: November 2020

By Alec Bojalad

This 1991 TV movie of the same name dramatizes the already-quite dramatic story. Charles Bronson, of all people, stars as Church, who is dealing with the death of his wife and the trauma he endured as a war correspondent during the Civil War. It turns out that one little girls credulous belief in the impossible is all that many adults need to get back into the spirit of the season.

And here’s the complete list, just in case you don’t like our choices!

5 Star Christmas (2018)

Netflix

12 Days of Christmas Eve (2004)

Peacock

12 Dog Days Till Christmas (2014)

Hulu

12 Pups Of Christmas (2019)

Hulu

Alien Xmas (2020)

Netflix

Alone for Christmas (2013)

Peacock

American Rodeo: A Cowboy Christmas (2016)

Amazon

Angela’s Christmas (2017)

Netflix

Angela’s Christmas Wish (2020)

Netflix

Angels in the Snow (2015)

Hulu

Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)

Hulu

Back to Christmas (2004)

Hulu

Barbie: A Christmas Carol (2008)

Hulu

Barbie: A Perfect Christmas (2011)

Hulu, Peacock

Beyond Christmas (1940)

Amazon

Black Christmas (2019)

HBO Max, Peacock

Black Mirror: White Christmas (2014)

Netflix

A Bell for Christmas (2014)

Peacock

Bob’s Broken Sleigh (2015)

Netflix

BoJack Horseman Christmas Special (2014)

Netflix

A Bride for Christmas (2012)

Amazon

Chico Bon Bon and the Very Berry Holiday (2020)

Netflix

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: A Mid-Winter’s Tale (2018)

Netflix

Christmas, Again (2014)

Amazon

Christmas with the Andersons (2016)

Hulu

Christmas Belle (2013)

Hulu

Christmas Break-In (2019)

Netflix

The Christmas Calendar (2017)

Hulu

A Christmas Carol (1938)

HBO Max

A Christmas Carol (2019)

Hulu

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Netflix

The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two (2020)

Netflix

Christmas in Compton (2012)

Hulu

Christmas Crush (2019)

Hulu

Christmas Cruise (2017)

Peacock

The Christmas Dragon (2014)

Amazon

Christmas in the Heartland (2013)

Peacock

Christmas on Holly Lane (2019)

Amazon, Hulu

Christmas Inheritance (2017)

Netflix

A Christmas Kiss II (2015)

Hulu

The Christmas Lodge (2014)

Amazon

Christmas Matchmakers (2019)

Peacock

A Christmas Movie Christmas (2019)

Hulu

Christmas Mystery (2014)

Peacock

Christmas Perfection (2018)

Hulu

Christmas with a Prince (2018)

Amazon

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018)

Netflix

A Christmas Princess (2019)

Peacock

The Christmas Ride (2019)

Amazon

A Christmas in Royal Fashion (2018)

Peacock

A Christmas Solo (2019)

Hulu

A Christmas Snow (2011)

Amazon

A Christmas Tree Miracle (2015)

Amazon

Christmas Twister (2012)

Peacock

Christmas in Vermont (2016)

Hulu

Christmas in Wonderland (2007)

Amazon

A Cinderella Christmas (2016)

Hulu

Curious George: A Very Monkey Christmas (2009)

Hulu

Dance Dreams: Hot Chocolate Nutcracker (2020)

Netflix

Dash & Lily (2020)

Netflix

Dear Santa (2011)

Amazon

Deck the Halls (2006)

Hulu

Disney Channel’s Epic Holiday (2020)

Disney+ – Arriving Dec. 11

Disney Channel Holiday House Party (2020)

Disney + – Arriving Dec. 18

Disney Holiday Magic Quest (2020)

Disney+ – Arriving Dec. 11

Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020)

Netflix

A Doggone Christmas (2016)

Amazon

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale (2015)

Hulu

The Dog Who Saved Christmas (2009)

Hulu

The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation (2010)

Peacock

Dragons: Rescue Riders: Huttsgalor Holiday (2020)

Netflix

Dreamworks Happy Holidays from Madagascar (2005)

Netflix

Dreamworks Holiday Classics (2011)

Netflix

Dreamworks Home For the Holidays (2017)

Netflix

Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas (2014)

HBO Max

Elf-Man (2012)

Amazon

 Elf Pets: Santa’s Reindeer Rescue (2020)

Netflix

Every Other Holiday (2018)

Hulu

Eve’s Christmas (2004)

Hulu

Free Rein: The Twelve Neighs of Christmas (2018)

Netflix

A Flintstone Christmas (1977)

HBO Max

A Flintstone Family Christmas (1993)

HBO Max

Get Santa (2014)

HBO Max

Girlfriends of Christmas Past (2016)

Hulu

A Go! Go! Cory Carson Christmas (2020)

Netflix

The Heart of Christmas (2011)

Hulu

High School Musical: The Musical: The Holiday Special (2020)

Disney + – Arriving Dec. 11

His and Her Christmas (2005)

Hulu

Holidate (2020)

Netflix

The Holiday Calendar (2018)

Netflix

Holiday Home Makeover with Mr. Christmas (2020)

Netflix

The Holiday Movies That Made Us (2020)

Netflix

Holiday Road Trip (2013)

Peacock

Holiday Rush (2019)

Netflix

Holiday in the Wild (2019)

Netflix

Holly’s Holiday (2013)

Hulu

Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012)

HBO Max

Home For Christmas (2019)

Netflix

How to Ruin Christmas (2020)

Netflix

Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (2011)

Hulu

Into the Dark: Pooka! (2018)

Hulu

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (2020)

Netflix

Klaus (2019)

Netflix

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

Netflix

Last Holiday (2006)

Peacock

Let it Snow (2019)

Netflix

Man Who Invented Christmas (2017)

Hulu

The March Sisters at Christmas (2012)

Hulu

Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special (2020)

Apple TV+ – Arriving Dec. 4

Married by Christmas (2016)

Hulu

Merry Happy Whatever (2019)

Netflix

Miracle on Christmas (2020)

Amazon

Mighty Express: A Mighty Christmas (2020)

Netflix

My Dad is Scrooge (2014)

Hulu

My Little Pony: A Very Minty Christmas (2005)

Hulu

My Santa (2013)

Hulu

Nailed It! Holiday! (2018)

Netflix

A Nanny for Christmas (2010)

Hulu

Naughty and Nice (2014)

Hulu

A Nasty Piece of Work (2019)

Hulu

Neo Yokio: Pink Christmas (2018)

Netflix

New Year, New You (2019)

Hulu

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020)

Netflix

A Norman Rockwell Christmas Story (1996)

Amazon

Nothing Like the Holidays (2008)

HBO Max

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

Disney+ – Arriving Dec. 4

The Oath (2018)

Hulu

Once Upon a Time for Christmas (2017)

Hulu

Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas (2016)

HBO Max

Operation Christmas Drop (2020)

Netflix

Pee-wee’s Playhouse: Christmas Special (1988)

Netflix

Power Rangers: Megaforce: The Robo Knight Before Christmas (2013)

Netflix

Power Rangers Super Samurai: Stuck on Christmas (2012)

Netflix

Prince of Peoria: A Christmas Moose Miracle (2018)

Netflix

A Prince for Christmas (2015)

Peacock

A Princess for Christmas (2012)

Amazon

The Princess Switch: Switched Again (2020)

Netflix

A Puppy for Christmas (2016)

Hulu, Peacock

Rare Exports (2010)

Amazon, Hulu

A Royal Christmas Ball (2017)

Peacock

Santa Buddies (2009)

HBO Max

Santa Pac’s Merry Berry Day (2016)

Netflix

Santa Girl (2019)

Netflix

Scooby-Doo! Haunted Holidays (2012)

HBO Max

The Search for Santa Paws (2010)

HBO Max

Second Chance Christmas (2017)

Hulu

The Secret of the Nutcracker (2007)

Hulu

The Smurfs Christmas (1982)

HBO Max

So This is Christmas (2012)

Hulu

The Spirit of Christmas (2015)

Hulu

A StoryBots Christmas (2017)

Netflix

Sugar Rush Christmas (2019)

Netflix

Super Monsters: Santa’s Super Monster Helpers (2020)

Netflix

Super Monsters Save Christmas (2019)

Netflix

Super Monsters and the Wish Star (2018)

Netflix

Surviving Family (2014)

Amazon

The Swan Christmas Princess (2012)

Hulu

This Christmas (2007)

Hulu

The Town Santa Forgot (1993)

HBO Max

True: Winter Wishes (2019)

Netflix

The Truth About Christmas (2018)

Hulu

A Very Country Christmas (2020)

Amazon

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (2011)

HBO Max

A Very Murray Christmas (2015)

Netflix

A Wedding for Christmas (2017)

Peacock

Wonderoos: Holiday Holiday! (2020)

Netflix

Yogi Bear’s All-Star Comedy Christmas (1982)

HBO Max

Yogi’s First Christmas (1980)

HBO Max

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The post Christmas Movies: A Complete Holiday Streaming Guide appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2KJKSIc

[cptn-stvngrntrgrs]

i’m with you, every step of the way

Relationship: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff (childhood friends to future lovers)

Chapter: 1/???

AO3: here

Summary:

Natasha thought that she and Steve would be best friends forever (and maybe something more in the future) after he protected her that one day on first grade. But, high school came and Steve suddenly became one of those who he used to protect her from.

(or the one where natasha and steve were childhood best friends but they drifted apart and steve became popular but is quietly still there for her)

As a little kid, Natasha would always be the target of the bullies at her school. Her parents are both Russian who met in the United States so they made sure that their only daughter’s first language would be Russian. Speaking English with a heavy Russian accent, the mean kids made it their duty to make her life a living hell.

The kids at the school playground would “play” with her but ultimately end up just making fun of her. They’d tell her to play hide-n-seek and she would count, but by the time she finished counting, her playmates aren’t just hiding, they’re gone. Most of the time, Natasha would shrug it out. She would think that they got called back to the room or just so good at hiding, she can’t find them. Natasha had a good heart and always made sure to see the good in people. So she doesn’t cry and just resumes playing by herself whenever this happens.

However, one time, it got physical. She was on the monkey bars and her chubby and short arms can’t quite get her across at first. She only pouted when she jumped off and kept on trying, with her sometimes being able to reach the next bar, sometimes she not. One of the kids, Tony Stark, whose parents own the preschool along with many other businesses, decides it would be funny to grab Natasha’s legs as she tries to make her way across. This surprised Natasha and her grip at the bar slipped, resulting in her face-planting on the ground.

She doesn’t cry at first, blinking as she sat up, but when a crowd of little kids, undoubtedly pulled in by Tony, started to laugh at her, that’s when the waterworks began. She felt her lower lip wobble and her eyes tear up, and she looked down, seeing blood seep out of her knees. She folded her knees and cuddled it close to her chest, looking down and hiding her face on the arms she folded over her scars. She cried because of the pain and because she’s being directly laughed at, which has never happened before.

“Knock it off, Tony,” she heard a stern but low voice rise over the laughter of kids. She peeked and saw Steve Rogers, her neighbor, staring Tony down, who is so much bigger than him.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it, Rogers?” Tony taunted back, raising his chest to tower over Steve. Tony is taller and has more weight into him, as compared to Steve who’s shorter and so much skinnier.

“I’m gonna tell Uncle Howard that you got your nanny to quit and then he’ll take all your toys away,” Steve replied with a smirk, eyes shimmering with a serious glint.

Tony rolled his eyes but took a small gulp, admitting defeat. With a wave of his hand, all his bullying partners went off to their own business, leaving Steve and Natasha alone on the middle of the playground.

Natasha, albeit listening as to what is happening, didn’t look up and was still crying. She felt a warm hand touch her shoulder and nervously peeked out, her eyes still clouded over from crying.

“Hey, are you okay?” Steve asked, his voice very soft compared to the tone he gave Tony. Natasha, afraid to speak, just shook her head and took her arms off her knees, which are covered in blood. Even her arms and shirt’s sleeves got some on them. Steve gasped and blinked - he doesn’t like the sight of blood - but stood up and offered her a hand.

Natasha took his hand and shakily got up, her balance unstable due to her wobbly and very painful knees. Steve took notice of this and held her in place, helping her walk to the school clinic, where they cleaned the wound. When the nurse asked how she got it, Steve was about to tell the truth, but Natasha looked at him and shook her head. She said she fell from the monkey bars by losing her grip, which isn’t exactly a lie nor a truth.

Natasha was told to stay at the clinic while she waits for her parents to come pick her up - she can’t stay at school because her knees were to painful to walk on for a day - she called Steve to her side.

“Thank you,” she said carefully alliterating each syllable, shy to let her accent slip out. She leaned over and pressed a kiss on his right cheek to show how grateful she is.

Steve squeaked out a, “You’re welcome,” face red, before running out to the playground.

After that, Steve brought it upon himself to always accompany Natasha in at school. Sure, he and Tony are still friends because their families are friends, but he gets irritated at him at school. That guy needs to be nicer to other people. Besides, Steve likes Natasha’s company more than Tony’s anyways. At first, she was quiet, reluctant to really converse, but she got used to his presence and opened up to him more. They would play hopscotch together, Steve would help Natasha cross the monkey bars by holding on to her and making sure she doesn’t get hurt, and Natasha always makes Steve draw images on her notebooks. Steve loves drawings and he likes it even more when he does it with Natasha and the suggestions she gives him.

As the years went by, so did their little group. What used to be the two of them now consists of Natasha’s cousins, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, as well as James Barnes, or Bucky, as they affectionately call him, joined their group. Bucky used to hang out with Tony until the fourth grade, where the latter accused him of stealing and resulted with Bucky being suspended for a week. Of course, Tony lied because he was mad at Bucky for accidentally breaking his favorite Iron Man action figure. That resulted to just the five of them forming and always playing at recess and eating lunch together, inseparable as they are also all in the same classes throughout elementary school.

Everyday after school, Steve would walk home with Natasha as their house are just across from each other. They would do homework, play, draw, and just hangout together until their parents decide that it’s too late and they have to go to bed. Sometimes, on weekends, the five friends would all gather together at Natasha’s house where her parents would set up a tent on their backyard and they’d have a mini camping/sleepover party.

Sadly, as sixth grade came to an end and so does elementary school, their little group diminished. Wanda and Pietro are going to a different middle school because they moved about an hour away, two towns over. Bucky also said his goodbyes as his parents got assigned a job at another state. The last day of school, promotion, was tearful for the five of them as Natasha clutched Wanda tightly and cried.

“Why are you getting so sad, we’re family, we’re always gonna see each other,” Wanda said, her voice playful but also laced with sadness. She’s blinking the tears out of her eyes, her smile wavering. She wants to be strong for Natasha because she knows that she’s her cousin’s only girl friend, and she won’t have her as close anymore.

“I know, but I want you to be always here,” Natasha muttered, her voice muffled by being pressed at Wanda’s shoulder, and heavy with tears. They eventually broke off and Natasha decided to hug Bucky next.

Bucky smiled warmly at her and enveloped her in a big hug. “I’m gonna miss you too, sweetcheeks.” He whispered at her, seemingly replying to something she said, and his eyes closed for a second, his head over hers. They could tell Bucky was close to losing it and he’s only holding it in. Pulling away, Natasha chuckled through her tears and flattened Bucky’s shirt again, which was a bit crumpled.

Bucky hugged Wanda as well and gave Pietro a pat in the back. When he reached Steve, he threw his arms over the guy’s shoulders. Steve, although already 12 years old, was still a bit small for his age. Bucky squeezed his Steve’s shoulder where his hand was resting on, giving him a small smile. Steve smiled back, his face sad, and the tips of his ears red. Bucky has been his friend for as long as he can remember. They took their first baby steps together, got their first haircut together, pretty much everything together ever since they were babies.

“Til the end of the line, pal, alright?” Bucky said, his voice cracking towards the end.

Steve nodded and avoided his eyes. “Til the end of the line,” he whispered back, blinking and letting a tear fall.

Steve and Natasha walked home together in silence that day, their hands tightly intertwined. Steve walked Natasha up to her front porch and stopped before they got inside. Natasha had to get ready because she’s leaving for Russia that night, just for the summer, and she still has to pack. She wordlessly hugged Steve tight and he did the same.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you souvenirs,” Natasha joked as they pulled away, her eyes now clear and bright, but her face looks tired.

“You better,” Steve replied, both knowing it was an empty threat. He leaned and kissed her forehead lightly, pulling away quick and the next thing Natasha knew, he was across and inside his house in no time.

--..--

The summer passed by quickly and the next thing they know, 7th grade has started. Natasha felt bad that she missed Steve’s 13th birthday over the summer for the first time in 5 years so she got him a platinum watch. There’s a star in the middle of it, a symbol of him being born on the Fourth of July. it’s been a running joke between them two, she being Russian, and him being this “all-American boy”. She dashed off to his house the minute they arrived at her house to give it to him. Steve gave her a huge smile and she was shocked at the sight of him.

Steve grew at least 3 inches over the summer, so he is now a bit taller than him. He’s still skinny, but she has no doubts that it will change sooner or later.

“Thanks Nat, I loved it,” he said, opening the box and she can see his eyes twinkling in happiness. Steve is the most sincere person she knows and also the most brutally honest. He doesn’t have to wear it to show that he loved it, she trusts his word. On the back of the watch, there’s a small engraving of a symbol of the black widow spider. Two years ago, they went to a field trip at a zoo and Natasha decided that her favorite arachnid would be the black widow because of its badass-ness. She grinned and waved him goodbye, she has to go and unpack, but with the promises of catching up later.

For the first time since the two became friends, they didn’t have any classes together in 7th grade and since the school has two different lunch times, they didn’t get to see each other then too. This made the two incredibly sad at first, but they have no choice but to deal with it. They would still walk home together before and after school though, and try to hangout as much as they can.

However, as the school year progressed, the two became busier and busier. Natasha became a part of their school dance team and Steve joined the football team to help him overcome his asthma. They both have practices after school so this even more diminished their time together.

7th grade ended and the two just drifted even more apart. Natasha met new friends, Maria and Pepper, who are both in her dance team. Steve became close to the football team and started hanging out with them. He was with the jocks: Thor, Clint, Sam, and surprisingly, Tony. This cycled continued on even as they started high school, where an old friend came back.