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dracowars · 4 years ago

Note

could u write where draco and y/n tells scorpius how they met, their relationship etc etc throughout hogwarts ☹️☹️ and scorpius is just like omg :O and maube y/n can be a hufflepuff so like a super cute slytherpuff relationship ARGH (ofc u dont need to do it 👍🏻 no pressure!! have a great day 🤍)

undying love | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x hufflepuff!reader

word count: 1,5k

summary: where draco and y/n tell scorpius about their love story

a/n: i love family tropes :( thank you for sending this in! <3

warnings: none

universe: harry potter

“Mommy, look what I found!”, your son calls for you through the house and shortly afterwards you can hear him coming down the stairs at an unbelievable speed, running to you in the kitchen. With a cup of tea and the latest edition of the Daily Prophet, you sit at the dining table and look at Scorpius as he walks towards you with what looks like a photo in his tiny hands.

“Look, look!”, Scorpius says excitedly while placing the moving picture on the table in front of you. A gentle smile forms on your lips as you take a closer look. The magical photo shows Draco, your friends and you at your graduation from Hogwarts so many years ago. You proudly hold your certificates in front of the camera, the traditional graduation hats on your heads, waiting for the enchanted boats, that took you to Hogwarts prior to the start of your very first year, ready to leave Hogwarts forever.

At the sight, beautiful memories of your school days come up inside of you and you have to hold back a sob until you notice that Scorpius’ big, interested puppy eyes are still on you.

“Yes, that is us, Scorpius darling”, you smile at him gently and pull him onto your lap in order to take a closer look at the picture together.

“But Mommy had completely different hair then!”, Scorpius giggles and points at your former self, which is smiling brightly into the camera with Draco’s arm tightly embracing you and pressing you against him. “And the hats look funny!”

“That is true. The photo was taken several years ago. It was when we graduated from Hogwarts. You know, in a few years, you will be going there too. It is a special school for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is for young magicians, to teach them everything they need for their life in the Wizarding World”, you explain to your son, whose gaze is still fixed on the photo.

“Mommy and Daddy have been a couple for that long?”, Scorpius marvels at your words and averts his gaze as he shifts on your lap to look up at you. Kissing him on the forehead, you smile and nod.

Before you can tell him more about it, however, the slamming of the front door announces that Draco is back home.

“Daddy!”, Scorpius immediately exclaims excitedly and hops down from your lap, takes the photo from the table and rushes to the entrance. Because of Draco’s following laughter coming from the hallway, Scorpius must have happily thrown himself around his father’s neck as he usually does as a welcome.

With Scorpius in his arms, your husband finally walks into the kitchen while Scorpius is babbling incoherently. Not quite sure what it is about, Draco just smiles before greeting you with a tender kiss before putting Scorpius back down on your lap.

“Look, Daddy! Look what I found! That is you!”, your son giggles and hands Draco the photo. A big grin immediately decorates his lips when he looks at the picture and he sits down at the table with you.

“Oh yes, it really is us. But we were still pretty young then”, Draco chuckles and Scorpius fidgets on your lap, wanting to know as much as possible while leaning forward.

“How was it at Hogmarts?”, Scorpius asks innocently and due to the misnomer, you and Draco can’t help but giggle in unison before Draco softly tousles your son’s white hair, which he naturally inherited from his father.

“It was a great time that I would not want to miss for anything in the world. If I had not gone there, I would have never met Mommy”, Draco explains, getting Scorpius’ full attention. “Just wait until you are eleven years old. You will experience incredible adventures that you would not even dare to dream of right now.”

“Eleven?!”, Scorpius huffs out in shock and puts on an offended expression while crossing his arms in front of his body. “That is too long! I want to go there now.”

“I am afraid you will have to wait a little longer, but I am sure that you will become a great wizard someday”, you reassure Scorpius, although you feel a little nervous inside. Yes, you have had wonderful adventures that ultimately made you stronger. Still, most of them were extremely dangerous, and it was not just once that you skipped death.

“Once you are in Hogwarts, you have to make sure to get into Slytherin”, Draco mentions, earning a shocked expression from you.

“No way! Scorpius will definitely be a Hufflepuff. I mean, look at him!”, you deny your husband’s statement and softly squish your son’s cheeks. “It is in his blood.”

“What is a Slinger and Pufflehuff?”, Scorpius asks interested, looking up at both of you.

“There are four different houses at Hogwarts that every student is placed in during the Sorting Ceremony at the beginning of their first year. I was a Slytherin, the best house there is. You will get into Slytherin if you are resourceful, determined and ambitious. Your mother, however, was in Hufflepuff”, Draco explains to Scorpius, a disparaging tone in his voice as he talks about your house. “Only the uncool children who are patient and loyal go there. Totally boring.”

“Draco!”, you utter out indignantly and give him a slap on the upper arm.

“I want to be a Slytherin”, Scorpius decides and while Draco is obviously happy about this statement, you can only shake your head in disbelief. “But if you do not like Mommy’s house, why did you fall in love?��

In response to Scorpius’ straight forward question, even Draco’s words get stuck in his throat and he does not know what to say next.

“Oh exactly, why did you fall in love with me when I was so extremely boring?”, you mock him playfully, raising your eyebrows as you now look at him expectantly.

“In the end, everyone is the same, no matter what family or house you come from. You must know, Scorpius, your mother actually hated me, but she just could not resist me and my charm”, Draco winks at you while telling his lie – well, maybe not all of it is a lie.

“Your father was really obnoxious when he was younger. Always considered himself the most sublime and someone had to teach him otherwise and get him back to the ground. He really did not like that it was a girl from Hufflepuff who taught him a lesson in the end”, you giggle and make Scorpius laugh with your story.

“That is not funny! Everyone laughed at me after you turned me into a weasel!”

“Wow! You can do that?”, Scorpius asks amazed and turns to you while you reach for your wand that lays on the table, nodding.

“And I could do it again anytime”, you threaten your husband and point the tip of your wand at him, but he does not move a bit.

“You would not dare. Unless you want all your books to fly around your head again”, Draco replies, thus awakening the painful memory of when he had bewitched your books and they literally flew around your head.

“Actually, your father always did all of this to impress me. At some point it might have actually worked”, you continue to tell Scorpius about your love story, a love story which is probably not that common.

“If I had not negotiated an armistice back then by taking you to the Yule Ball, then maybe we would not be here today.”

“And if I had not given you another chance, I would probably never have found out what a great person you actually are”, you smile at him lovingly, while Scorpius just sits in front of you with his mouth wide open, listening intently. “Suddenly, Daddy was very friendly and attentive, he bought me gifts every week until I finally showed mercy and returned his love.”

“What are you even talking about? I clearly had to reciprocate your love, not the other way around!”, Draco intervenes immediately, although you both know exactly that what you said is true. He just wants to look cooler in front of his son.

“Mommy and Daddy loved each other very much and that is why I am here”, Scorpius grins, leaving you two speechless yet again, ending your little argument.

“You are right. And I could not have asked for anything better in my life than your mother, Scorpius. Had she not been there a few times, I would have done very stupid things. I am very grateful that we have found each other and that we now also have you in our life. I could not think of anything more beautiful”, Draco admits, and his demeanor is suddenly so loving and gentle, something he was afraid to show back then. Something you taught him to not hide but to show openly.

“Your father and I, we complete each other. We always did”, you reply as you all take a look at the photo again. “I would even say that we are even happier now than we are in this picture.”

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beyblaiddyd · 2 years ago

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I do have many postable thoughts I just haven’t been posting them they’re private. well ok u can know about this one I have been thinking a lot about chainsaw man critically bc i like the set up of the universe and the way the powers work and the demon designs are a lot of fun. but (and this won’t be surprising coming from the ‘aki is the only character i’m invested in’ guy) I really can’t get over how much denji just should not have been the pov character

like he obviously was always going to be because this is fujimoto’s vent diary slash 15 year old boy horny nightmare fantasy manga but i love imagining an alternate universe where people learn to utilize effective writing and understand when a perspective should’ve been shifted

because the like emotional impact of the stuff going on with denji would’ve been much more effective if it had been like mostly implied/subtle to begin with and then slowly revealed through the eyes of aki, especially considering he’s implicitly (though it’s barely explored) been dealing with the same kind of abuse just less Directly from makima and himeno for years + aki’s emotional plot beats are the only ones that have any like actual punch to them at all. him being the resolution to denji’s emotional arc about whether or not he can still feel emotion by becoming the first person to ever truly care for denji for unselfish reasons etc etc.

aki also has the very classic anime protagonist trait of being like physically incapable of abandoning sympathy for other people no matter what terrible things he’s exposed to, plus the personal revenge arc, like he obviously has the emo boy death flags but he’s so weirdly positioned with classic Protag traits as well. it’s weird how completely rushed his storyline ends up being to serve like an edginess quota

i’m closing my eyes and imagining a version of this manga where you’re introduced to the world through aki in media res he’s been an investigator for a couple years now but not super long and he’s just being assigned this new troubled teen to join his already troublesome squad and like his dynamic/development with denji and power mostly plays out the same but there’s also much more emphasis on the local government politics inside the bureau of him trying to keep denji and power out of trouble while also trying to accomplish his own goals and like more time/story dedicated to the mystery solving of hunting down the gun devil and collecting the pieces rather than most of it taking place off screen/in the past for no reason because if we had spent more time WITH that process aki’s decision to try to back out of the final fight to save denji and power would’ve had so much more weight

anyways ultimately chainsaw man is just fujimoto’s attempt to exponentially raise the stakes in each arc as fast as humanly possible to speedrun the already oft mocked shounen manga format but he’s doing it in service to creating the next moment makima can do something #badass and #scary because despite despising her he also thinks she’s like the sickest character ever and has a weird amount of sympathy for her like he literally denji’d himself i mean no one is shocked because denji is very plainly his trauma dumping self insert i knew this going in you know this we all knew this but it’s insane that he has not reflected on the meanings of this at all and just wanted to draw panels of makima doing evil things and then spun together some bare bones papier-mâché plot to string those panels together

closes my eyes a second time and thinks about the snowball scene to calm down (starts the cycle over again)

#cocoa talks too much #there NOW that tag is accurate again #csa mention /

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emwritesfootball · 4 years ago

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Bir öpücük [One kiss] | Berke Özer and Zeki Çelik

Word Count: 2,931

Warnings: Cheating, Oral Sex (male and female giving/receiving), Age Gap (4-5 Years), Third Person POV

Summary: When She and Berke get in a fight, Zeki is there to comfort Her...

A/N: I asked and nobody answered so you're getting it anyway xx This is my entry for @footballffbarbiex's latest writing challenge for the Forbidden Love category and I wrote this last night because I got inspired. Biiig thank you to @meteora-fc and @sammisze for the proofreading and extra suggestions. Enjoy y'all <3

- - -

“Where have you been?” She sounds like a petulant child - or worse, a concerned parent - and regrets the words the moment they leave her mouth.

Berke shoots her a look, rolling his eyes as he starts to undress. “Out. What business is it of yours?”

“I’m your girlfriend.” Her voice is shrill to her ears and she hates it. “You didn’t think to invite me out?”

“Just wanted a guys night. Is that so wrong?”

“Not at all! I just wish you’d communicate better sometimes.”

“I’m twenty-one - what do you expect?” He mocks, throwing what she usually uses as a teasing excuse when he fucks up in her face.

They haven’t been together long - a little under three months - but things were serious enough for him to bring her with him to Turkey from Belgium with his latest call-up to the U-19 side of the national team. They’d met through mutual friends, and the attraction was immediate. She had been hesitant, though, with their age gap, but Berke had assured her that four years wasn’t that big of an age gap, and their relationship had started from there.

She soon learned that dating a younger man - especially one of Berke’s status - wasn’t all she’d thought it would be. Berke’s rising fame as a skilled keeper, the media likening him to now-manager Şenol Güneş back in his career when he was one of the “Trabzonpor Efsanesi”, quickly took a toll on their relationship. A simple Google search had told her just how prestigious of a title that was, and part of her was surprised that he wanted to date her when he could be out playing the field.

Then, there were the red flags. He preferred to DM her on Instagram or just send her a simple wordless Snapchat; if she wanted to call him or FaceTime, they’d have to plan it so far in advance that Berke would ultimately forget about it. Whenever he was with her, he always seemed to be glued to his phone. She wasn’t completely immune to distractions either, and she’d played on her phone a few times too, but something about when he did it unnerved her.

She mostly brushed it all off, hoping it would all die down once the season was over and the two of them could go on holiday together and get to know each other on a different level. In a way, she’d been looking at this trip to Turkey as a practice holiday, but now she fears they’re about to be over before they even really had a chance to begin.

“I don’t expect much, Berke,” she says, searching for her words. “Hell, I don’t even care where you went tonight - I just would have preferred to know if you were gonna be out late so I could’ve gone to bed hours ago.”

“So I forgot to text you? So what?! I wasn’t aware I was dating my mother.” The way he says the word has her reeling. They haven’t shared too many intimate, deep stories, but she knows that Berke is well-aware of the fact that she hates being compared to anyone’s mother and that she’s insecure enough about their age gap as it is.

“Well, I wasn’t aware I was dating a child, so I guess we’re even,” she sneers, barely concealing her tears as she exits the hotel room she and Berke are sharing and makes a beeline for the hotel bar.

She takes a seat at the bar, relaxing a bit when her quick scan of the patrons tells her that nobody else she’d know is there. Her Turkish isn’t great - Berke had promised to translate - but ‘shots’ and ‘another’ seem to be universal, and after downing a few shots, she switches to a double Scotch on the rocks. As she drinks, she replays the last few hours in her mind. She knows she let her insecurities get the better of her and she regrets it; she also wants to apologize but it’s late and she figures Berke either left the room or is asleep and she doesn’t really feel like going back up to the room and finding out which one it is.

“You okay?” Zeki Çelik’s voice brings her out of her thoughts.

“Huh?” She turns to face him, confused.

“You let out a sigh… I assume something is wrong?”

“Oh.” She laughs awkwardly, running a hand through her hair. “I didn’t realize I’d done that.” She gives him a small smile, gesturing to the empty barstool beside her. “You can sit if you want.”

Zeki returns her smile, taking the seat she offers. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She drains her Scotch, signaling to the bartender who appears. Zeki puts in for two club sodas, and even though she throws him a glare, she doesn’t correct him as she starts, “Not really. Berke and I had a fight.”

“Oh.” Zeki nods sagely and she can tell he wants to ask more but he doesn’t.

The two of them sit in silence for a few long moments before she finally caves. “It was a long time coming, I think. We didn’t break up, obviously, but we definitely said things that were both on our minds.”

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Zeki says, taking a sip of his club soda when it arrives.

“It’s okay,” you reply, waving off the sentiment with your hand. You’re tipsy now and you want to talk about it. “He compared me to his mother and I called him a child.” You let out a derisive laugh, shaking your head. “It was ridiculous.”

“Why?”

“This is exactly what I worried was going to happen when the two of us started dating but Berke swore our age difference wasn’t a big deal to him…”

She trails off and Zeki finds himself studying her intently. “You’re older?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, nodding. “Almost five years, actually. I’m 25.”

“Wow - I just assumed you were younger.”

She giggles, shaking her head. “No. I think I just need to learn from this. I just need a smaller age gap - or just stick to older guys.”

“You just need to find a younger guy who appreciates you,” Zeki says softly, making her pause. The way he’s looking at her isn’t like anything she’s ever seen on Berke’s face, and against her better judgment, her heart starts to beat a little faster. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear and her breath hitches.

“Zeki-”

“I know,” he replies, looking away. “We can’t. You’re with Berke.” He runs a hand over his face and down his beard - an action she doesn’t miss - sighing. “I would never do that to a teammate and a friend - no matter how into their girlfriend I was.”

“Wh-what?” She’s stunned, blinking rapidly as she tries to process his words.

“It wasn’t intentional, don’t worry,” Zeki backtracks, chuckling nervously. “I just thought you were beautiful when I first saw you. I didn’t know then that you were Berke’s girl, but in that moment, I fell for you.” He pauses, draining his club soda. “Anyway, I’ll leave you alone now, but I sincerely hope you and Berke work it out.”

He gets up to leave and she puts a hand on his forearm, looking up at him. “Stay. Please? You can tell me I’m beautiful some more if you’d like,” she jokes, relieved when he laughs and sits back down.

Something tells her they’ve both crossed a line, but it feels good to just sit and talk with an attractive man who thinks she’s beautiful, not giving Berke a second thought as she laughs with Zeki.

When she yawns and Zeki follows seconds later, they both know it’s time to turn in; they’ve drunk their fill of club sodas and her mini-hangover from the shots and Scotch is getting the better of her. Zeki wraps an arm around her shoulder, steadying her as she stands, and she can’t help leaning into his touch, sighing contentedly. He’s not as tall as Berke, but she doesn’t miss how good it feels to have him rest his chin on top of her head as they wait for the lift back to their respective floors.

Their ride is quiet yet comfortable, but she gets confused when the lift stops on his floor first but Zeki makes no move to get off. “I’ll walk you to your door,” he says nonchalantly, and she hates the way her heartbeat picks up at the basic chivalry he’s just displayed.

“Thank you,” she whispers, looking up at him. She’s still tucked into his side and the knowledge that she’s going to be leaving his warmth in a matter of minutes has her feeling a sense of loss she didn’t know she was capable of feeling.

The lift door opens on her floor, and suddenly she doesn’t want to get off. Zeki waits patiently, watching her attentively as the doors close and she moves to press the number for his floor again. “The problem is,” she starts as the lift begins to descend again, “is that I don’t want to go to my room right now.”

Zeki swallows hard at the innuendo, his grip around her waist tightening almost imperceptibly. “Balım, if I let you come to my room, we won’t be sleeping.” Honey.

The doors open again and she walks out with Zeki, weighing her options. She knows that she shouldn’t, but Zeki feels so good and she doesn’t want to go back to her room with an angry Berke. “One kiss,” she says when they stop in front of Zeki’s hotel room. She’s almost certain this kiss will erase her attraction to him and she can go back to the bar and drown her sorrows before she actually goes to bed.

“One kiss,” Zeki murmurs, stepping closer so she’s pinned between him and the wall. His eyes are dark with lust and she swallows hard as she looks up at him, her tongue peeking out to wet her bottom lip, making Zeki moan.

Slowly, as if in a dream, she places a hand on his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat underneath her palm. Her other hand winds around the back of his neck, her fingers threading in his hair. Zeki’s hands are on her waist, his touch burning through her clothes and searing her skin.

The moment his lips touch hers, she’s gone. Zeki kisses her like he’s kissed her a thousand times, with just the right amount of pressure and neediness that leaves her wanting more. When he breaks the kiss, they’re both breathing heavily, but she needs more. Her eyes search his and without another word, she stands on her tiptoes and drags him back down for another kiss.

She doesn’t know how he kisses her while fumbling for his key card, but Zeki never breaks the kiss even as he opens the door and leads her inside his hotel room. He turns on a light and she uses the opportunity to take off her shirt, giving him a wicked grin when he does a double take at her in her bra. “Fuck!” He curses in Turkish, taking her back in his arms as his hands slide up her back to unclasp the bra. “Çok güzelsin,” he murmurs before kissing her again. You’re so beautiful.

Her bra falls to the floor and Zeki is quick to palm her breasts, pressing kisses to the tops of each of them before taking each of her nipples in his mouth. She cries out, arching her back as her fingers find his hair. His scruff scrapes across her sensitive skin and she knows she’s probably going to have beard burn in the morning but she doesn’t care.

Zeki leads her over to the bed, watching as she falls backward and reaches for him, pulling him down on top of her with ease. It’s her turn to undress him, her moans of approval sounding as she runs her hands down his muscled torso. He can’t think straight when she reaches for the button on his jeans and he’s quickly pulling them off his body so he can do the same to her.

“Zeki!” She whimpers when he hooks his fingers in the waistband of her panties and tugs them down, the cool air hitting her pussy as he spreads her legs and kneels between them.

“Be good for me, Balım, and I’ll make sure you get to cum,” he murmurs, kissing his way up her inner thighs. The sensation of his beard brushing over the skin of her inner thighs goes straight to her clit and she knows she’s already dripping wet for him.

She loses it when he finally puts his mouth on her pussy. He looks up at her from between her legs as he sucks her clit and she almost cums from that alone. Zeki continues to speak Turkish to her as he eats her out, loving the way she comes undone from his words alone. He can feel his cock throbbing and he knows he won’t last long inside her, but he focuses on giving her a mindblowing first orgasm.

When Zeki commands her to cum for him, her body’s response is immediate. Her inner walls clench around the two fingers he inserted inside her, her fingers fisting the bedsheets as she writhes under his touch. He kisses her hard, drawing out her orgasm by curling his fingers inside her, and she can taste herself on his lips.

“My turn,” she says wickedly, dropping to her knees to play with his cock. He’s already leaking precum and she wraps a hand around his shaft, giving him a few pumps before she puts her mouth on him.

Zeki lets loose a string of Turkish when she takes him as far down her throat as she can, gagging on his length. His fingers find her hair and he tugs, pulling her mouth off his dick before he can cum. “I’ll cum down your throat later,” he growls, his heavily-accented English sending a thrill down her spine. “Right now, I need to be inside you.”

She doesn’t protest when he bends her over the bed, taking her from behind. He fucks her roughly, pulling her hair to make her arch her back so he can hit her pussy from an angle that makes her eyes roll back. “Zeki, please!” She begs, her face pressed into the mattress.

His deft fingers find her clit and it isn’t long after that she’s cumming around his cock, milking his orgasm. She can feel his cum coat the inside of her pussy and she knows he’ll be dripping out of her when he pulls out, a thought that turns her on.

The moment Zeki pulls out of her, he goes to get cleaned up. He brings her a warm washcloth and proceeds to carefully clean her up, making sure to run the rough fabric over her clit a few times so he can watch her pussy spasm around nothing. “Such a good girl for me,” he praises, trailing kisses down her back.

“It wasn’t hard,” she counters, giving him a cheesy grin as he settles in bed and motions for her to join him. She falls asleep in his arms, sated and content.

It isn’t until the morning when she wakes up and fully realizes the ramifications of what she’s done.

***

Waking up in Zeki’s arms feels like a dream, and she’s almost sure she’s dreaming until he shifts and stretches, giving her a small smile. “Günaydın,” he says, his voice rough with sleep. Good morning. “How did you sleep?”

She doesn’t answer him, instead moving to throw back the covers and find her clothes. “Shit!” She curses, running a hand through her hair. “I’m a mess; I should shower before I get back, right? God, fuck, Berke’s gonna know something’s up.”

“Look at me, Balım,” Zeki says soothingly, getting up from the bed and coming to rest his hands on her shoulders.”It’s gonna be okay - we’ll figure this out.”

“I can’t believe I cheated on him,” she whispers, covering her mouth with her hand as she tries to keep tears at bay. “I...I was mad at him - I never thought I’d do something this awful.”

“I know, I know you didn’t mean it,” he says, pulling her into his arms against his better judgment. The regret in her voice makes him feel hollow, but he doesn’t dare put his own feelings on her in this moment. After all, it isn’t fair for him to have slept with his teammate’s girlfriend, regardless of how he’s felt about her this last week. “Don’t worry. This was just a one-time thing and I promise I won’t tell him unless you decide to.”

“You won’t?” The relief on her face as she looks up at him makes him want to die, but Zeki nods.

“I won’t. Now, let’s figure out what to do. Why don’t you shower here and then we’ll figure out what to do next, okay?”

***

Zeki watches, heartbroken, as she goes back to Berke like nothing happened. Logically, he knew that the two of them wouldn’t have lasted even if she’d dumped Berke for him, but it still hurts. He knows this is for the best, that lying to Berke was the only way to keep the team together (or, at least, that’s what he’s telling himself), but he can’t help wishing he was the one on her arm instead.

#em's writing challenge entries

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yesloverboy · 6 years ago

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Trip of a Lifetime (mgk!Tommy Lee x Reader)

Requested: Anon!

“Could you do a story about tommy and the reader dropping acid and whatever they do on it is up to u😂 I think it'd be really cute and funny”

Note: I am sorry this is so late! I may have gotten a little carried away, but I wanted to make sure I did this prompt justice. It’s definitely been a hot minute since I’ve done psychedelics, but some of these events are inspired by true ones so let me know what you think. Enjoy!

word count: 2,294

It all started on a Saturday night. With you and your boyfriend Tommy having such busy schedules, the both of you had decided to take turns planning date nights. The way you figured it, taking turns would prevent one of you from feeling more responsible for maintaining the relationship over the other. So far it seemed to be working out nicely, and this time it was Tommy’s turn.

You and Tommy had been together for a few months now, and were still well into your phase of continually trying to impress one another. At this point, Mötley Crüe was really taking off, and you found yourself looking forward to your scheduled dates more and more as Tommy became increasingly less available. Deep down, you knew it wasn’t his fault that he was so preoccupied. There was no doubt in your mind that he and his romantic heart would be willing to move mountains for you; but that didn’t mean being apart never stressed you out. Sometimes you even wished you could slow down time just a little so that you wouldn’t always have to say goodbye to Tommy so soon. When you had told Tommy that, he just laughed and told you he would make it happen if he could. As always, you believed him.

As you waited for Tommy to return home from his day at the studio, you couldn’t help but fidget in anticipation. When it was Tommy’s turn to plan dates, he always liked them to be a surprise for you. His spontaneous nature and childlike enthusiasm were just a few of his qualities you loved the most, and the dates he picked were a reflection of that. In just a few short months, Tommy had already taken you to more arcades, theme parks, concerts, and spontaneous road trips than you could keep track of. So as anxious as you were to see your boyfriend’s smiling face, you were just as excited to find out what he had in store for you.

When Tommy finally opened the door, you practically leapt into his open arms. In true Tommy fashion, he picked you up off the ground and spun you in a circle, eliciting a a chorus of giggles from the both of you.

“Well hey there, baby,” he cooed, kissing you gently, “someone sure is happy to see me.”

You nuzzled his nose lovingly as he placed you back on the ground. “I just missed you is all.” Even though Tommy had put you down, you still felt like you were hovering above the earth, your heart light and carefree.

“So what’s the plan for the night, rockstar?” You knew rockstar was a cheesy nickname, but the blush that would color Tommy's face made it all worth it. More than anything in the universe, Tommy wanted to play music that the rest of the world loved, and you always knew in your heart that he would do it.

“I thought maybe we could go on a little trip,” he smiled wryly, his eyes meeting yours with a mischievousness he normally reserved for inside jokes.

“Where?” Your arms were still firmly fastened around Tommy’s neck, keeping the space between the two of you to a minimum.

To your chagrin, Tommy unwrapped his hands from your waist, and reached for the pocket of his leather jacket. “Not that kind of trip, dude,” he said, pulling out a plastic bag, “this kind of trip.”

You looked at the plastic bag, your face lighting up as you spotted two little squares of paper with skulls printed on them.

Acid.

You couldn’t believe it. It had been so long since you’d tripped that you almost didn’t remember what it was like. Still you craved an escape, something to take you and Tommy far away without ever having to leave the home you shared. It was perfect.

“You told me once that you wanted to slow down time,” Tommy continued, “so I thought we might give it a shot.”

“Oh my god, Tommy!” you squealed, delighted that he had been paying such close attention to how you’d been feeling lately. “I never thought I’d say this, but you might be a genius.” You stood on your tiptoes, gripping the sides of his angular face to kiss plant a kiss on his lips.

Tommy tried to look offended, but his act quickly dissolved under the smile on his face. “God, do you always have to be so mean?”

“Isn’t that why you love me?” you ask, batting your eyelashes in mock innocence.

Tommy just ruffled your hair in response, causing you to groan in protest. “Do you wanna take these for a spin, or what?” he asked, laughing at your irritated pout.

“Fine,” you huffed, “hit me.” You stuck out your tongue, signalling Tommy that you were ready to get the night going. This is it, you though, quickly accepting the fact that the two of you would ultimately be housebound for the evening.

Tommy reached into the plastic bag and pulled out a single tab. With a careful hand, he placed it on the tip of your tongue. Closing your mouth, you let it slowly dissolve. You’re not sure what you expected this time around, but it tasted like nothing just as you remembered. Soon after, Tommy did the same and all that was left was to wait for those little squares of paper to work their magic.

“Wanna watch a movie? Maybe order a pizza?”

You smiled up at Tommy, reveling in the fact that so many wonderful things in life could be so simple. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

It took some bickering, but eventually you and Tommy agreed to put your copy of Halloween in the old VCR. You had been worried that watching a scary movie would trigger a bad trip, but Tommy reassured you that his hilarious commentary would get you through it. You relented, but solely on the condition that he would hold you the entire time.

About thirty minutes into the movie, you noticed the image on the television began to vibrate softly, the colors pulsating and running together as if they might drip right out of the screen and onto the bedroom floor. You turned your head to look at Tommy to see if he was seeing the same thing, twisting against the hold he had on your body. To your amazement, he wasn’t looking at the screen at all. Instead his eyes were fixed on you.

You watched carefully as his the blue of his eyes seemed to shift colors, ranging from their usual denim blue to bleeding with vibrant yellows and greens. Even though Tommy’s eyes were locked on yours, it seemed as though he was looking somewhere beyond where you were sitting.

“Dude,” Tommy whispered, his voice soft and distant, “you’re so beautiful.”

“No, you,” you argue, the blood in your veins humming with the same softness that crept in and out of the edge of your vision when you looked at Tommy. It was almost as if your body was vibrating softly under his touch, making the rest of the world feel warmer and brighter. In that moment, it was so amazing to you that Tommy could call you beautiful when he was clearly the most mesmerizing thing in the room. It was then you thought that maybe, just maybe you could love him forever.

Tommy just rolled his eyes, “Oh please, you’re, like, a work of art,” he stated, moving his hands about animatedly, “just like that–wait what’s she called? The Moaning Liza?”

“You mean the Mona Lisa?” you asked, throwing your head back with laughter.

Playfully, Tommy tried to put one of his large hands over your face to shut you up, but you were able to wrestle out from his grip with happy tears leaking out of your eyes.

“Oh come on, Y/N! You know I didn’t do well in history.” At this point, Tommy was laughing too. “My point was that you don’t just look like any old work of art– but a priceless one. One that people cross oceans to see.”

You gazed at your boyfriend lovingly, and firmly believed that the secret to eternal happiness was hiding somewhere behind those beautiful, kaleidoscope eyes. The hum in your body was growing more persistent by the second, and suddenly your head was flooded with a hundred different ideas all at once. However, one stuck out to you over the others and you couldn’t help but wonder if Tommy would be on board with it.

Getting up abruptly, you made your way over to your bedroom, seeking out an old box of acrylic paints. The paints were leftover from your attempt at being an artist a couple of years ago, and you figured there was no better time to give it a try again than the present.

You found the box almost immediately as the yellow light from your closet rained down in glowing droplets above your head. The dripping light seemed to lead you right to where the box was nestled, and for a moment you wondered why you thought it’d be so hard to find it in the first place.

Strutting back into the living room triumphantly, you held the box of paints securely in your arms. To your amusement, Tommy’s gaze was now transfixed on the ceiling fan above his head, his eyes following the blades closely as they spun.

“Tommy!” you tapped at his shoulder and immediately he snapped back to reality. “I have an idea.”

“What is it?” he still had his signature, goofy smile but his eyes were unblinking. You wanted to laugh, but suddenly couldn’t remember the last time you’d blinked either. Realizing it didn’t matter, you set the box of paints in his lap.

“We shout paint each other! Well, not actually like paint each other, but paint on each other. Sounds fun, right?”

“Okay, but if we do I’m going first,” Tommy’s happy expression was replaced with a more determined one, “‘cause if you don’t believe you’re a work of art I’m just going to have to make you believe me.”

Unable to resist, you gave Tommy a peck on the cheek. “Alright, baby. Whatever you say goes.”

“Where should I start?” Tommy asked, rummaging through the selection of colors. “Your back maybe? I feel like there’s probably more room.”

You just shrugged and pulled your shirt up and over your head, allowing it to fall limp on the arm of the couch. Grabbing one of the extra cushions, you placed it on the carpeted floor so you could lay comfortably while Tommy set to work.

“So, what are you going to paint, Mr. Lee?” you asked, laying flat on your stomach. The carpet itched at your bare skin, the fibres swaying back and forth against the pressure of your body.

Tommy sat beside you with his legs crossed, the box of paints accompanying him at his spot on the floor. “Hmmm, can’t tell ya. It’s a secret.”

“Fine then,” you smile, “have it your way.”

Without warning, Tommy squirted a few drops of paint straight from the tube and onto your bare back. “Fuck, that’s cold!” you hiss, squirming uncomfortably against the rough carpet.

“It’ll be worth it, dude. Promise.” Tommy chuckled softly, adding more drops of paint from various bottles to the canvas of your body.

After a while, you were surprised to find that the cold from the paint was soothing the buzz of your body high quite a bit. The ebb and flow of Tommy working the paint into patterns on your back sent tingles of electricity from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

Tommy didn’t talk much while he painted, apparently putting all of his concentration into whatever he was creating. Even though you couldn’t see his face while laying down, you’d be willing to bet he looked just as deep in focus painting as he did while writing a song. You couldn’t help but hum happily, feeling more than content just being alone with Tommy.

Evidently, Tommy had noticed your level of relaxation and laughed quietly to himself.

“What’s funny?” you ask, wanting so desperately to know what was going on in Tommy’s head during his trip.

“Nothing,” the smile in Tommy’s voice was obvious, even if you couldn't see it, “it’s just– do you ever think about how crazy this all is?”

“How crazy what is?”

“This.” he insisted, “the fact that, of all the people in the world, and of all the time that’s passed...we got to meet. Just you and me, and the rest of the world.”

Your mouth fell open in awe, unable to believe the love and passion that radiated from Tommy’s words.

Just you and me, and the rest of the world.

Tommy’s profound observation flashed bright red in your mind, glittering against the backs of your eyelids like the Las Vegas strip at nighttime.

“I think I’m going to say it,” Tommy continued, unphased by your moment of silence, “You’re the love of my life. No matter if it’s this life, or the next one��or maybe even the one after that. If there is one, I think it’s always going to be you.”

The tenderness in Tommy’s voice hung in the air with all the softness of a passing cloud. Even though you knew that the both of you were tripping, no amount of chemicals could alter the way you felt about Tommy in that moment.

“You’re the love of my life, too” you repeat back, meaning every single word of it, “I don’t ever want to be anywhere if it’s not with you. Loving you is the trip of a lifetime.”

Masterlist

#this prompt was amazing thank you so much #i hope i did alright #writing #mgk!tommy lee #mgk!tommy lee x reader #tommy lee #tommy lee x reader #motley crue #vince neil #nikki sixx #mick mars #the dirt #the dirt nextflix #motley crue imagine #the dirt requests

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migleefulmoments · 6 years ago

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I'm a psych major - i seriously believe that the CC fandom is a cult - the hate they send is cult like mentality, they have something seriously wrong with them. Like mentally. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them got arrested for harassment of C or D or their partners.

Come off anon and chat with me...there is a lot to unpack and I won’t do it publicly.

There is definite some mental health issues for in that fandom. I too keep wondering how far they will push it. If not them, will some follower of theirs do something stupid because they are emboldened by the rhetoric that the ccc leaders spew?

Whether the anons are real or the leaders of the ccc are sending anons to themselves-or it’s a combination of both- is unclear to me, what I do know is that the answers they are giving are consistently and purposefully misleading and often outright lies.

Two recent examples of their outrageous lies;

1. ANON::

“...have u seen naya say on the podcast that C was actually upset about santana's rant to kurt in that episode... because it was so real? it really makes u think that there was for sure one writer thay really did have it out for chris...

ajw720 answered:

That rant was 100% directed at C and it was divined by RM. He is raging with jealousy towards C, he has everything, looks, talent, creativity, and D. And things completely feel apart when RM realized C was genuine competition. You realize Blainofsky was punishment to CC for acting out that past summer? He literally broke up the fan favorite couple on the show during the last season for revenge. And he despises C in particular. And that rant was not aimed at K/urt. It was aimed at C. And I am glad N/aya commented on it, I can’t imagine how she felt being used on that manner.

FACT CHECK:

Had she spent 2 minutes Googling this she would have realized that fact Brad Falchuk-not Ryan Murphy- wrote Jagged Little Tapestry thus invalidating her entire theory.

Everything she said about Ryan Murphy in this paragraph is simply her fantasy. Ryan is a very successful and powerful Hollywood writer, producer, and director. He is also gay and married with young children and Is a powerful LGBQT advocate. His youngest son waged a 2-year battle with Neuroblastoma from 2016-2018. Neuroblastoma is a vicious form of childhood cancer that requires intense treatment. I used to be an pediatric oncology/bone marrow transplant nurse and this cancer and treatment is no joke.

Ryan Murphy is very creative- he created and wrote episodes of Glee, 911, and Nip/Tuck, AHS, ACS, and the upcoming The Politician. Check out his IMDB (X).

He has won numerous awards and nurtured a lot of queer content including Pose which hired both LGBTQ actors and staff making it highly unlikely that he would closet a gay actor.

She suggested Ryan is jealous of Chris because of his “looks” and his relationship with Darren. There is nothing to suggest that Ryan is unhappy in his married, his attracted to much younger or is attracted to Chris and/ Darren. Ryan called his husband, “His rock” in 2018 when talking about their son’s illness.

Abby ignores Ryan’s real life story, instead because it doesn’t fit her fanfiction character profile she created for Ryan.

2. ANON:

“....is it a known fact to the whole fandom that f/etusm/iarren is M/ia ?” (X)

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered:

Hi, you know, i think (my opinion) that m/iarrens are ignoring purposely this fact. Like.. they have seen everything happening or showed here and decided to say “hey, you know? i don’t care”. Like they do with everything that is not part of the “D is straight” tale.

Let’s say that most of us have an idea about who the minions are (if they exists and i think i can tell you that maybe one is a real person)… but it’s irrelevant.

The account still exists because, and believe me i don’t know how this is possible, the stans who follow that account are more “m/ia stans” (the ones that bother us on our blogs and in blogs dedicated to hate and mock us) than “D stans. Let me tell you one thing: i speak with a good bunch of “m/iarren” that are D stans and we are on the same page, we worry for D. No talk of bullshit with them. Most of them understood that something wasn’t ok and they left their fandom, without becoming part of the cc one. Others are still here but more subtle and still respectful.

And I see why: because they want to understand what is wrong.

Anyway: D’s team gives her stuff, and this is one of the problem.

FACT CHECK:

In truth, there are very few “Mia stans” and a lot of “Darren stans”. The CCCers refuse to listen to what their anons actually say. Instead they pigeon-hole people into categories based on their own needs and they need us to be unreasonable and obsessed with Mia rather than Darren for their self-righteous antics to work.

Nobody that I am aware of is purposefully ignoring credible evidence that Darren is gay. None of us are looking at the “evidence “ and saying “hey, we don’t care”. The fact is that very few people care if Darren is gay or straight and the “evidence” is nonsense. I have yet to year one thing that sounds credible. Anyone else?

I did a very rudimentary look her claim that “The account still exists because, and believe me i don’t know how this is possible, the stans who follow that account are more “m/ia stans” than “D Stans”. I sampled 280 Fetu/sMiarr/en followers:

The vast majority were private accounts aka we cannot say why they are interested in the account.

4 or 0.1% called themselves Mi/arrens

10 or 3.5% listed Kl/aine or Gle/e in their profile

15 or 5.3% listen Darre/n or posted photos of him alone

1 or 0.03% was a Guns ‘N Hoses page DING DING DING we found the Mia Stan.

Darren’s team gives her stuff? What exactly would Darren’s team need to give her? She is his wife. She goes everywhere with him. they own a home and bar together.

Chrisdarebashfulsmiles had a rare moment of honestly when she said “Believe me I don’t know how this is possible”. The truth is. it isn’t possible. it’s all made up.

Abby stuck her nose in to the conversation with this wisdom:

ajw720

And a lot of the stans who refuse to accept it, need M because she is the only thing that makes d straight. And they know as soon as they start to question, they have to face reality

Um, no Abs, Mia is not the only thing that makes Darren straight.

Darren is straight because he is a man who is sexually attracted to women....the very definition of “straight”.

Darren has identified as straight for 9 years.

Your confusion around his sexual orientation is simply your refusal to respect his word because you believe you know more than he does about his own feelings-however that isn’t a valid argument.

His marriage to Mia is a personal decision to build a life with the woman he loves and has been in a relationship with for 9 years or so.

Let’s look at Darren’s own words over the years:

2011 'Glee' Star Darren Criss Comes Out—As A Straight Guy!(X)

"I think it's more empowering to everybody, including myself, if I'm articulate about identifying myself as a straight male playing a gay character," the actor says in the Hollywood issue of Out magazine. "Ultimately, that's more powerful for both communities."

When Criss first got the role of Blaine, he admits that he wanted to deflect questions about his sexual orientation, giving reporters answers like, "It doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight." But he decided that it was better if he was just honest and straightforward. Besides, he explains, he owes a huge part of his identity to gay role models.

2011 “Glee Star Darren Criss Dishes on Kissing Lea Michele & Losing Out To Cory Monteith (X)

I’ve been pretty overt about the fact that I am straight,” Darren told Billy and Kit. “I think it’s an important thing to be explicit about — not for my own sexuality, but just as a general statement that I am comfortable with my sexuality and very comfortable with the fact that I’m playing a strong gay character.”

2013 Cosmo Guy” Darren Criss On Glee’s New Chapter (X)

Q: You're not gay; you just play gay on TV. Do you ever feel the need to assert your heterosexuality?

A: No. I know who I am. I feel bad for guys who have to flex their muscles. But hey, if that's the way to make yourself feel comfortable as a man—as long as it isn't antagonizing anybody—go for it. I'm okay with your getting a Miata to feel like a dude; just don't be a dick about it.

Darren Criss Will No Longer Play Gay Characters (X)

Darren Criss has decided that he will no longer play gay characters. Why? Because he doesn’t want to be a straight actor taking potential roles from actors who actually identify as gay, he said in a recent interview with Bustle.

“There are certain [queer] roles that I’ll see that are just wonderful,” he explained. “But I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.”

2018 Darren Criss on Playing Serial Killer Andrew Cunanan in ACS: Versace and Passing as White (X)

You’ve also played a lot of gay and queer characters. Has playing these parts informed how you think about your sexuality or gender? That’s a great question. God, we need like an hour. Sure, yes. Absolutely. It definitely has. I think being queer in general evokes more self-questioning than somebody who’s cisgender straight, because you really have to explore a lot of things about yourself that are meeting resistance on conventional social levels. So you have to go, “Okay, cool. Is this really how I feel?” There are questions that arise within yourself that doesn’t have to happen if you live in a hetero-normative universe. So in that sense, I think the journey of questioning oneself, which everybody does anyway — and should do— I admire that narrative. Even though I am not gay myself, or queer, I am a storyteller, and I love and appreciate the strength of character it takes for someone to get through that, whether it was difficult or not. I’ve been very blessed in my career with being allowed in the gay community. Again, as a cisgendered straight dude, that’s not lost on me. I don’t take that for granted. It’s been such a huge part of my life, even pre-Glee. I come from San Francisco doing theater, man. Like, I was raised by gay men. Not literally at home, but you know, as a young kid doing theater, my friends were these men and women in their 20s, driving me home and getting me dinner. These were my adult figures in my life, so unconsciously I’ve always had such affection for the life, whatever that means. So I guess inhabiting a gay voice is important to me because it’s a voice that I find inspiring.

These are just two of the many lies the cc fandom tell their followers in order to manipulate them into believing the fantasies that means much to them.

#cc #ccer #ccers #cc family #cc blog #ccc #CrissColfer Cult #cc fandom #crisscolfer #darren criss #mia swier #Ryan Murphy #Darren is straight

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remybourque-blog · 6 years ago

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if anyone wants to read remy’s application ! the characterization is p much the same.

BASICS :

hello i’m rick, rick astley, but u can call me kviii or kviiilyn. jk im iris and this is my crib. i’m 21 years old, living in the PST timezone and i use she/they pronouns.

TRIGGERS :

i have an admin lux trigger, so if she could tag herself that’d be grviii thx.

FULL NAME with maiden name, if applicable : moon juim remy bourque

CURRENT AGE : 23

GENDER AND PRONOUNS : cisfemale, she/her

LOYALTY : neutral but lbr the destler men are daddies. ( #DestlerDaddy )

OCCUPATION : secretary to michel lefèvre ( aka Daddy #1 )

CRIMINAL OCCUPATION : none for now but she probably unwittingly gets herself into some shit.

FACE CLAIM : son naeun

INSIGHT :

I was torn between a few of the characters that were released before her, but after reading Remy in bed the night before my first final of the semester, I knew that she was the one for me. Everything about her biography, from her two left feet, to the little fuzzy roommate she sometimes throws a stiletto at when it catches her off guard, to the fact that she’s “disliked by everyone”, made me fall in love with her. I could instantly see myself spending the rest of my days with this Certified Mess™ of a woman. I know it sounds like I’m proposing to marry her, but I would gladly do so if it saves her from tripping along the cobblestone paths on the way to her work. She’s oddly charming, the kind that you didn’t think you would like, and she’s just not afraid to be herself. She doesn’t have a filter and she may rub people the wrong way, but that’s their problem not hers. All she wants in life is to be happy and carefree, is that too hard to ask ?

HEADCANONS :

MI CASA, SU CASA ; Remy was her sister’s roommate first; having let herself in one night with her large pink suitcase in tow after having had enough of their family home in the 20th Arrondissement. How tacky was it to still be living at home at twenty-one, when her sister had moved out years ago to attend university. So she sauntered over early in the evening when her sister was studying and wheedled her way into her heart and her apartment. From then on, she crashed on her sister’s couch for over a year, and then when Remy’s sister started dating this cute intellectual from the history department of her school, it was like Remy had the apartment to herself — especially during the lovers’ honeymoon phase when they would go out into the city almost every night. It was nice that her sister was dating and happy, at least until he decided to move into their already cramped space. He always tried to clean up around the house, namely in Remy’s little area, and always pointed out some cheap rooms for rent or studios to her. ( “That’s such a cute space ! But I don’t think it’ll fit all three of us.” ) But then they started to get even more domestic and suddenly Remy felt like the ultimate third wheel, which is not ideal at all. She’s a pretty young ( single ) thing in the city of love, and if the offer ever came up, she couldn’t bring someone back to an apartment that had all the accouterments of a serious relationship. There are pictures of her sister and her boyfriend being cute and kissy for goodness sake ! Not at all the bachelorette vibe she wants. So she applied for the job at the theatre for the money and finally moved out. And her sister and her boyfriend were so nice about it too ! They helped her pack her things and move into her new flat, and even brought her a little housewarming gift.

THIRD EYE ; If you ever cross Remy on the street, there is a 75% chance that she will pull you aside and tell you about your aura or your zodiac that day. She’s got a certified third eye for these kind of things. There was this old lady in the park that Remy would pass on the way to school growing up, and she would always talk about prophecies and read the little lines on her palm. Remy always found it charming. In fact, she even asked the sweet lady to teach her. In her high school years, Remy spent most of her allowance money on crystals and medallions and how-to books from the incense filled shops on the outskirts of town. She would watch youtube videos and search sketchy websites about astrology and tea leaf readings. The hobby has died down years ago, she’s not that adamant about it anymore, but she’ll still turn to giving unsolicited advice and palm readings to whomever she feels has a good vibe.

JE M’APPELLE ; She changed her name the moment she found out she could, all chubby-cheeked and sparkling eyes. It’s not that she didn’t like the name Juim Moon ( or was it Moon Juim, she’s seen her mama write it both ways on forms that she’s not sure which ways is proper anymore ) it’s just that she didn’t FEEL like a Juim. She never really did if she were to be honest. Which makes her sound like an ungrateful brat, her grandmother named her after all, but when you don’t feel it you don’t feel it. When she started secondary school, she introduced herself as Remy — a new brand to distance herself from the mess and a half that was a 14-year-old Juim. She was a new woman, with a new name and a new moniker. Remy Bourque. Both chosen from things she came across in the streets, a street sign here, a clothing label there. She tested and selected various variations until there was a combination she could see herself sticking with. It was cute and utterly French-sounding, things that she saw herself as, and she wouldn’t want anything less.

QUESTION ONE : What was your childhood like?

‘ Well, ’ she straightens up in her seat, flipping her hair back and clearing her throat just the slightest like she’s getting ready for a speech. ‘ I was born and raised in Paris, believe it or not, just across from the Square Jardin Gare de Charonne — well, not really just across, but like in a complex near the gardens. My papa was a pharmacy tech and my mama tried her hand at a bunch of jobs over our childhood. She checked groceries at one point, and worked in a flower shop, and did some clerical work for a law office. Really simple stuff that got her out of the house when me and my sister were off at school. And my sister and I, ’ Remy gestured with her hand, her wrist limp, ‘ we were just close as can be. I mean, she is just fantastic — she’s in school right now, she wants to be a pharmacist like our papa. She’s a real smart one, you know ? It’s just too bad she’s gotten kind of boring over the years. ’

She makes a full stop, then looks at the others in the room, ‘ Oh please don’t tell her I said that. I love her and all, it’s just that the stuff she talks about can be a bit dull. ’ She gives a small smile, grateful for the discretion. ‘ Okay, back to your question. Um, ’ she thinks for a second, trying to gather her thoughts, ‘ my childhood was great — in a word. I come from humble beginnings, my parents never spoiled me, and I think I turned out pretty great. ’

QUESTION FOUR : Where is your favorite place in Paris?

‘ Oh this is easy ! ’ A full smile stretches across her face as she leans in, ‘ There’s this café on the way to the Theatre that I pass every morning. It’s usually not that crowded when I walk by, just a few commuters going in and out for breakfast, but I always just have to stop and smell the freshly baked croissants and the coffee that they just brewed. Every time I get my paycheck, I go in for a baguette and their special pâtisserie of the day. It just reminds me of all the things I love about Paris, you know ? ’

QUESTION SEVEN : What is your favorite way to pass the time?*

She looks at the others sheepishly, like she’s holding a secret, but let’s be honest, she doesn’t hold many secrets to her heart. ‘ People always give me strange looks when I say this, but I love people watching, ’ she admits. ‘ It’s kind of a weird, guilty pleasure that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. Like I just get so invested into these people’s lives when they walk by, and I come up with these histories and motivations for them. It’s like a game of Sims, except I can’t tell people to go into a pool and then take the ladder to get out away. ’ She giggles, the noise high and flitting, ‘ Gosh, that’s so bad to say. It’s fun though, if you have nothing else grabbing your attention. ’

EVERYTHING ELSE :

do u want to see the resume she submitted to michel ?

( jk here’s the actual resume. she pulled an elle woods and sprayed it with her perfume to make it scented )

a mock blog

#ooc.

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dipulb3 · 4 years ago

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How White nationalists evade the law and continue profiting off hate

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/how-white-nationalists-evade-the-law-and-continue-profiting-off-hate/

How White nationalists evade the law and continue profiting off hate

At the rally — which turned deadly — he participated with gusto, carrying a banner that, according to court documents, said, “Gas the kikes, race war now!” during a march past a synagogue.

But when Robert Warren Ray was indicted in June 2018 for using tear gas on counter-protesters at the event, police discovered he was nowhere to be found.

The fugitive, known in far-right circles as a prolific podcaster under a Bigfoot-themed avatar and the name “Azzmador,” has vanished — at least from real life.

However, Ray’s podcast, which he calls The Krypto Report, later appeared on a new gaming livestreaming service that has become a haven for right-wing extremists who have been deplatformed from YouTube and other mainstream social media channels.

Called DLive, the live-streaming platform with a blockchain-based reward system allows users to accept cryptocurrency donations — another perk for extremists barred from using services such as PayPal or GoFundMe, or who want to raise money internationally. Ray, a 54-year-old Texan, was a hit.

He quickly became one of the top 20 earners on DLive, according to an analysis by online extremism expert Megan Squire of Elon University in North Carolina, who studied the period from April 2020 — the earliest data available — through mid-January 2021.

It’s not just the police who are searching for Ray. Since September 2019, he has been flouting court orders and missing appearances in a civil case that names him as one of 24 defendants accused of conspiring to plan, promote and carry out the violent events of Charlottesville.

“(Ray) has failed to communicate with Plaintiffs and the Court in any manner –even while continuing to participate on social media, post articles on the website of The Daily Stormer, and publish podcasts,” said plaintiffs’ attorneys in court documents filed in June.

As for the criminal case, which charges Ray with maliciously releasing gas, authorities have labeled him a fugitive since his 2018 indictment.

To be sure, Ray — who mysteriously stopped podcasting from DLive a few months ago — didn’t get rich on DLive. But while he was ignoring court summonses for his alleged role in organizing Unite the Right, he earned $15,000 on the platform in just six months, according to Squire’s analysis. He cashed most of it out, she said.

“The idea that he’s wanted for all of this stuff, but then just gets to sit at home behind a microphone and make money on the side — I thought that was just not good at all,” Squire said.

Experts say the story of Ray and DLive underscores a reality about people who get chased into the shadows by lawsuits or deplatforming crusades: There will almost always be an entrepreneur who is willing to provide a venue for exiled promoters of hate.

“Where there is demand, eventually supply finds a way,” said John Bambenek, a cyber security expert who tracks the cryptocurrency accounts of extremists.

A game of cat and mouse

Public scrutiny drives alt-right personalities deeper into the bowels of the internet, reducing their visibility.

And while their retreat to ever more obscure corners can make it more difficult to monitor the chatter, Michael Edison Hayden, a spokesman for the Southern Poverty Law Center, says the game of whack a mole is ultimately worthwhile.

“I have seen firsthand the degree to which figures who were…extremely successful in radicalizing large numbers of people, become extraordinarily marginalized, extraordinarily fast in so-called dark corners of the internet,” he said.

There are few neo-Nazi figures who have been as widely deplatformed as Andrew Anglin, publisher of The Daily Stormer, one of the web’s most notorious hate sites — and where Ray gained prominence as a writer and podcaster. Anglin’s Daily Stormer was dumped by Google and GoDaddy after Anglin in a post mocked the protester who was killed in Charlottesville as a “fat, childless 32-year-old slut.”

This made it more difficult for laypeople to find his site, though it has managed to stay on the internet, partially through the work of an adroit webmaster. “There was just this ongoing battle of what (the webmaster) would do in order to keep Anglin’s voice online,” Hayden said.

Like Ray, Anglin is on the lam. He has evaded attorneys since the summer of 2019, when he lost a spate of lawsuits. In the biggest judgment against him, Anglin was ordered by a judge to pay $14 million to a Jewish woman in Montana who had endured anti-Semitic harassment and death threats from Anglin’s “troll army” of supporters. (One voicemail said: “You are surprisingly easy to find on the Internet. And in real life.”) Anglin, who did not respond to Appradab’s request for comment, has said in court documents that he isn’t living in the country.

The woman, Tanya Gersh, recently told Appradab that she has yet to receive a dime of the judgment and is appalled that people are profiting from hate.

“If knowing that doesn’t disgust you, we have really, really been led astray in our country,” she said.

Founded in 2017, DLive, which is owned by a 30-year-old Chinese national named Justin Sun, takes a 20% cut of its streamers’ revenue, according to its website.

Although DLive initially allowed far-right figures — including Ray — it has purged several amid scrutiny in the wake of the deadly riot at the Capitol on January 6.

That day, Anthime “Tim” Gionet, better known as “Baked Alaska,” used the service to live-stream his role in the incursion. In the video, he curses out a law-enforcement officer, sits on a couch and puts his feet on a table, and can be heard saying, “1776, baby,” according to an FBI affidavit. Gionet was suspended from the site, as was Nick Fuentes — part of a White nationalist group of young radicals called the Groypers — who was also at the January 6 rally, though he says he did not enter the Capitol. Both had already been permanently jettisoned by YouTube and other social media outlets, though Fuentes remains on Twitter.

“DLive was appalled that a number of rioters in the U.S. Capitol attack abused the platform to live stream their actions,” and when its moderators become aware of the live streams, they shut them down, the company said in a statement to Appradab. “All payments to those involved in the attack have been frozen.”

Ray’s DLive account, too, has been suspended, a company spokesman said, although the action did not publicly appear on his page until a couple of days after Appradab reached out to the company on February 5. The DLive spokesman said the decision to sanction his channel was unrelated to Appradab’s inquiry, and that the suspension amounts to a permanent ban.

In any case, Ray stopped posting to DLive about four months ago, around the time a judge in the Unite the Right case found him in contempt. He did not respond to Appradab’s requests for comment.

Gionet was arrested in Houston last month, but Fuentes and Ray have both since popped up elsewhere online.

Fuentes — DLive’s top earner, who took in about $114,000 in six months ending in January — has been scrambling to keep his podcast streaming since DLive booted him. For a few weeks, he’d figured out a way to keep using YouTube, even though the platform had dropped him, largely by using intermediaries to embed a livestream from other YouTube channels on his own website.

Squire said she spent those weeks engaged in a game of cat and mouse with him, repeatedly finding the 22-year-old Illinois native and notifying the third parties, and YouTube, of Fuentes’ actions.

The third parties have mostly acted swiftly and banned Fuentes’ content, Squire said. And while YouTube didn’t act on all of Squire’s initial reporting, the company took action when Appradab flagged it.

“We’ve terminated multiple channels surfaced by Appradab for attempting to circumvent our policies,” a YouTube spokesperson said last week. “Nicholas Fuentes’ channel was terminated in February 2020 after repeatedly violating our policies on hate speech and, as is the case with all terminated accounts, he is now prohibited from operating a channel on YouTube. We will continue to take the necessary steps to enforce our policies.”

Following YouTube’s crackdown, Fuentes began experimenting with other blockchain based technologies that enable him to stream his nightly program without being deplatformed. His recent moves have left Squire frustrated. “I don’t have an answer on how to do the take downs — I just don’t know,” she said.

Ray, meanwhile, appears to have retreated to another obscure streaming site, called Trovo, which is so new it is still in beta mode.

In the chat section of what appeared to be Ray’s new Azzmador page on Trovo, a follower said “we missed u Azz” on January 15.

Ray has yet to livestream any podcasts on Trovo. But in recent days — after several months of silence — a Telegram account bearing Azzmador’s logo with a link to his DLive channel burst back onto the platform with a series of racist and anti-Semitic messages.

“Harriet Tubman and MLK are both fake historical figures who had Communist Jew handlers/promoters,” read one February 7 message.

Some startups see the deplatforming of online firebrands as a recruitment opportunity.

“Hey @rooshv, so sorry to see you get censored!” a Canadian company called Entropy — which targets YouTubers and other streamers seeking to avoid censorship — tweeted at Daryush “Roosh” Valizadeh, an online personality in the so-called “manosphere,” who has touted misogynistic ideas such as that women are intellectually inferior and that rape should be legal on private property. Valizadeh — who authored an online post called “Why are Jews behind most modern evils?” — had just been dumped by YouTube less than a week prior, on July 13. “We would be honored to support your streams,” the tweet added.

In March 2019, Entropy’s three young founders were interviewed by a podcaster about their new product, and excitedly touted their first big-name user, Jean-François Gariépy, an alt-right YouTuber who frequently featured White nationalists on one of his shows.

“He was actually the first streamer to try us out,” said co-founder Rachel Constantinidis. “He tried us out for a number of months, and we were able to really improve the stability of the platform based on his feedback.”

In an email to Appradab, Gariépy denied a CBC news article’s characterization of him as supporting “ideas of white superiority and white ‘ethnostates,'” saying, “no proper context was provided by the journalist to understand the circumstances in which I discussed these subjects in the past.”

Fuentes and Gionet did not respond to Appradab’s requests for comment, and Valizadeh declined an interview.

How cryptocurrency comes into play

Just as far-right provocateurs are driven underground to more niche sites when they are booted from mainstream platforms, so, too, do they often gravitate towards cryptocurrency such as bitcoin when banished from using online payment services like PayPal and GoFundMe.

“Cryptocurrencies are indispensable to them at this point,” said Squire.

Because many of them were early adopters — and because bitcoin’s volatile value has recently skyrocketed — some are now sitting on vast sums.

Most successful in this realm has been Stefan Molyneux, a Canadian vlogger who has promoted ideas of non-White inferiority and has said, “I don’t view humanity as a single species.” Molyneux, dropped by PayPal in late 2019, starting taking bitcoin donations in 2013 and is holding onto a chunk of the cryptocurrency that amounted to more than $27 million as of Thursday morning, said Bambenek, the cyber security expert.

(Molyneux — who is still on Facebook and Instagram — has also been expelled from YouTube, and has since shown up on lesser-known platforms such as BitChute, DLive and Entropy, where his audience is considerably diminished. Molyneux told Appradab in an email that he stopped covering politics last year, and is now writing about parenting. He declined to answer any questions about his finances.)

BitChute, Trovo and Entropy did not respond to Appradab’s requests for comment.

By publishing their wallet IDs online and urging followers to donate through cryptocurrency, extremists have — perhaps unwittingly — provided unprecedented insight into their financials. In an attempt to cut out the middleman and combat fraud, bitcoin transactions — including sender and recipient identifiers — are all recorded in a public ledger, available to anyone.

Individual donations to far-right personalities mostly appear to have been small, and Bambenek said they are shrinking on the whole.

One exception: Nick Fuentes received a single donation of 13.5 bitcoin, at the time worth about $250,000, in December from a person whom researchers believe was a computer programmer in France who apparently killed himself shortly afterward, according to a Yahoo News exclusive report.

Another notable cryptocurrency enthusiast is Anglin of The Daily Stormer who, in addition to owing Gersh of Montana $14 million, has another $4.1 million judgment against him for falsely branding comedian and Appradab contributor Dean Obeidallah — an American Muslim — as a terrorist. He also owes money to Taylor Dumpson, who, after becoming the first Black female student body president at American University, endured a harassment campaign orchestrated by The Daily Stormer. That $725,000 judgment is against Anglin, the site and one of the site’s followers.

Anglin, who claims on his website to be banned from PayPal, credit card processors and even his PO Box, has been directing his donations to bitcoin since 2014. Over the years, he received more than 200 bitcoin, but most appear to have been cashed out, according to Bambenek, who said Anglin is holding on to at least 10.1 bitcoin, worth more than $525,000 as of Thursday morning.

But Anglin’s cryptocurrency holdings are becoming more difficult to monitor.

While Anglin was embroiled in the Gersh lawsuit, his website started advertising donations through a more obscure cryptocurrency called Monero, which — contrary to crypto’s ethos of transparency — keeps transactions private.

Azzmador and Anglin sued by Charlottesville victims

Demonetizing and deplatforming aren’t the only way to defang groups and individuals who espouse identity-based hate.

“You also need to sue them,” said Amy Spitalnick, executive director of Integrity First for America, a nonprofit civil rights group.

Ray and Anglin are among a couple dozen defendants named in a lawsuit underwritten by Spitalnick’s group on behalf of several activists who are Charlottesville victims. The two men are accused of being part of the leadership team that not only planned the Unite the Right rallies on August 11 and 12, 2017, but primed the pump for violence.

Four of the 10 plaintiffs in the civil rights lawsuit, which is scheduled to go to trial in October, were struck by the car driven by a neo-Nazi into a throng of counter-protesters, killing Heather Heyer, whose physical appearance Anglin would later disparage. Their injuries ranged from broken bones to concussions to torn ligaments. The other plaintiffs in the suit say they have suffered emotional distress either from physical injuries inflicted during the event or from psychological trauma and have missed work as a result.

In the days leading to the Unite the Right rally, much of the planning and coordination happened on The Daily Stormer, which — with Anglin and Ray as principal authors — began to take on a menacing tone, according to the suit.

On August 8, the suit says, Anglin and Ray said the purpose of the upcoming rally had shifted from being in support of a Confederate monument of Robert E. Lee, “which the Jew Mayor and his Negroid Deputy have marked for destruction” to “something much bigger…which will serve as a rallying point and battle cry for the rising Alt-Right movement.”

“There is a craving to return to an age of violence,” Anglin wrote, according to the suit. “We want a war.”

The Daily Stormer advertised the rally with a poster depicting a figure taking a sledgehammer to the Jewish Star of David.

“Join Azzmador and The Daily Stormer to end Jewish influence in America,” it said.

Prior to the event, the suit says, Ray and Anglin wrote on The Daily Stormer that “Stormers” were required to bring tiki torches and should also bring pepper spray, flag poles, flags and shields.

Anglin did not attend the rally in Charlottesville, but Ray did. During the march past the synagogue, the suit alleges, he yelled at a woman to “put on a fu**ing burka” and called her a “sharia whore.”

The suit says he then proclaimed: “Hitler did nothing wrong.”

Fast forward three-and-a-half years. By January, Ray’s once-prolific podcast had been dark for several months. His fans began to notice. On a forum called GamerUprising, somebody started a thread on January 25 called “What happened to Azzmador????”

“He just disappeared and no one even seems to care,” wrote the user, who goes by “Creepy-ass Cracker.”

But there are signs that Ray plans a return to podcasting as Azzmador.

On February 3, a fan on his Trovo page asked when Azzmador would begin streaming.

He responded in a word: “soon.”

Appradab’s Julia Jones contributed to this story.

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sky-casino · 7 years ago

Text

Savior

Genre: Fluff, Angst Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader Word Count: 2127 Warning/s: Bullying Author’s note: I instantly thought of Jaehyun the first time I listened to Taylor Swift’s Call It What You Want ;u; So I decided to write a fic inspired by the song featuring Jaehyun :)

You woke up, eyes staring blankly on the ceiling, not moving an inch. You stayed in that position for half an hour. No will to get up, dress up, and show up. What for? You were just gonna get dirty looks and hear profanities thrown at you anyway.

Your life took a 180-degree turn. Everything has changed. You’ve always imagined your life to be symbolized by a castle, and recently, you watched that same castle crumble right before your eyes. However, it was not entirely your enemies’ fault. You were to blame too. Sleeping with your best friend’s boyfriend was never the right thing to do. Being wasted and heartbroken were not good enough reasons to justify your mistake, and they never will be.

“Taeyong, you told me you were not happy with her and that I’m the one you actually love. So why don’t you man the fuck up and tell her everything? Tell her that what happened that night was all your idea!”

“Y/N, I will not do that. Never. So don’t speak of it again and stay away from me. Understand?”

“You asshole. You just played with me!” You screamed as you repeatedly hit the guy in front of you.

“What the hell, stop!Look, I’m sorry. Okay? I thought.. I thought I had the guts to break up with her. But I realized that I’m very much still in love with her. Things were just tough between us and I couldn’t think and see clearly that’s why-”

“That’s why you fucked me and fooled me with all your sweet lies? Huh? Admit it. You don’t love her anymore but you’re just afraid of the way everybody will treat you if they find out the truth. You’re such a coward and I can’t believe I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Goodfuckingbye.”

You replayed in your mind the conversation you had with Taeyong, your best friend’s boyfriend, right after everyone in the school learned about the shitty mistake that both of you did. You tried to explain and apologize to your best friend so many times but it just made her despise you even more. She believed him instead of you. Several hurtful words and painful slaps happened and eventually, the six-year friendship you shared ended in a disastrous note. You lost her and all your other friends and it was all because of a guy who played with your heart.

That was three weeks ago and you hoped that the issue would have died down by now but of course it didn’t, you provided the school the drama they always craved for and they will not let you live. People who didn’t even have anything to do with you and the issue had the audacity to openly mock you, with your ex-friends and Taeyong just watching. You had no one to eat lunch with, no one to go to the library with, no one to spend free time with. By now, you just wanted to give up and drop out, but your parents have worked hard to send you to this university. You didn’t want their hard work to go to waste.In the end, you lazily forced yourself to get up, dress up, show up. “Just two more semesters and I’m done.” You reminded yourself.

As you expected: same shit, different day. You just got home from that hellish place and you were unlocking the door to your apartment when you heard someone greet you from the next unit.

“Hello!” You turned to your left to see a guy with dark brown hair, around six feet tall, locking his door. He flashed you the brightest smile you’ve seen in a while, dimples on both cheeks popping up.

“Hi.”

“I’m Jaehyun. I’m just new here.” He introduced himself,sticking out his hand to you for a handshake.

“I’m Y/N.” You replied as you shook his hand, it was warm and soft.

“I’d love to talk more but I have work. See you.”

“Oh, alright. What’s your job, if I may ask?”

“I’m a part-time barista in a coffee shop at the other block.”

“Wow, that’s great.”

“Okay, bye!” You watched him as he hurried down the stairs. “He’s cute.”

A few nights later while you were doing your homework, you heard a knock on the door. You had no idea who it might be because all your friends dropped you already, remember?

You opened to see your friendly barista neighbor, Jaehyun.

“Hi, Y/N.” Jaehyun smiled at you as he cutely shook the paper bags in his hands.

“Hi, Jaehyun. What are those?” You asked as you let him in.“Some leftover pastries and coffee.”

“For me?”

“Yep. To be honest, I’ve been wanting to invite you to the coffee shop I work at, but our free time don’t really match, do they?”

“Right. Thank you so much, though. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. You’re doing your homework?”

“Yes. But that can wait. So.. tell me about yourself?”

“Hmm.. I’m studying Architecture and honestly, it’s kind of hard balancing studies and work. But I need to earn. You?”

“Psychology.”

“Wow. The study of the mind? Why did you choose that?”

“Because I love observing people and trying to understand why they think and act the way they do.”

The both of you enjoyed each other’s company, learning about each other over coffee and sweets. Favorite books, movies, likes, and dislikes.Everything.

“I need to go now, it’s getting late. “ Jaehyun said after an hour of talking to you.

“Okay. Thank you for the food and coffee, and for coming by.I really enjoyed.”

“I had a great time. Wish we could do this more often.”

“Sure. I'd love to. Good night!”

“Good night, sweet dreams.”

You closed the door and realized that you haven’t been this happy for the past month and a half. Jaehyun was the best thing to happen in this shitty life of yours.

A month later on a Friday morning as you were about to go out of your apartment, you heard incessant knocks. “Y/N? You still there?”Jaehyun asked through the door.

“Hey Jaehyun. Morning!”

“Hey, so did you hear the news about the meteor shower tonight?”

“What? No! There’s a meteor shower tonight? Can we see it here?”

“Yes! It will be visible on our sky at exactly 7:14PM. I’m here to ask.. if you’d like to see it with me?”

“Oh, Sure! My last class ends at 6PM. Where do you want us to meet?”

“Hmm.. I’m thinking at the rooftop of this apartment? Is that alright?”

“Okay!”

“Alright. See you later, Y/N! I’ll bring sweets and coffee again.”

“Great! What do you want me to bring?”

“Nothing. Just bring yourself. Bye!” Jaehyun shouted as he ran to the opposite direction.

Jaehyun gave you something to look forward to everyday. Both his spontaneous and planned visits leave you excited and asking for more. You realized that he distracts you from ultimately spiraling into depression. He is your escape. Just a look at him and you forget all the people surrounding you every day, looking at you with judging eyes, waiting for you to make a mistake no matter how small it was. He is saving you, and he doesn’t even know it.

It was a few minutes before 7:14PM when you arrived at the rooftop. Jaehyun was already there.

“Hi Jae! Sorry, I was almost late! The professor extended the class a little bit.”

“It’s okay. At least you made it on time. Here!” He gave you a cup of iced macchiato.

“Thank you. I’m so excited!” A few minutes later and the meteors started to line the sky.

“Oh my god, Jaehyun! They’re so beautiful! I’m glad you told me about this!” You said as you recorded the spectacle on your phone. You were so focused that you didn’t notice that Jaehyun was actually watching the falling stars through the reflection on your eyes. He has fallen in love and you don’t know it.“

There’s a reason why you’re the one I wanted to watch the stars with.” Jaehyun said as the astronomical event came to an end, looking down on his fingers as he fiddled with them. His tone was a bit more serious than usual and it got you a little concerned.

“And what is that reason?”

“I have something important to tell you.” He said as he looked up at you. You had no idea what that ‘something important’ is but you started to feel uneasy.

“I like you, Y/N. Can you be my girlfriend?” You suddenly couldn’t hear anything else. No chirping birds,no honks from the streets below, nothing. Your eyes were fixated on Jaehyun’s and you stayed still for a long time that he had to gently shake you by your arm.

“Y/N, are you okay? I’m sorry. Did I shock you?”

“Don’t you think it’s too early for this? We just met around two months ago.”

“Well.. yeah I thought of that too. But, I really like you Y/N. So I think-“

“You have a lot that you don’t know about me.” You said as you tried to stand up. But Jaehyun held you back.“What do you mean? I know a lot about you. Haven’t we been spending lots of time together? Yes, I know I don’t know everything but at least-“

“You don’t know that I slept with my ex-best friend’s boyfriend.” You blurted out. Silence followed as Jaehyun didn’t know what tosay.

“You don’t know that I let a guy play with my feelings and let that same guy ruin my friendship with the most important friend I’ve ever had. You don’t know that everyone in my school thinks of me as a snake.” You were sobbing by now and no matter how hard you tried, the tears wouldn’t stop falling.

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun. But I don’t thi-“

“But I know that you feel sorry for that.”

“What?”

“I know that you feel sorry for that mistake. That you regret it. That you want your best friend back. And that you are having a hard time. Yes, I didn’t know all those things that you just said but I know that you are a good person who just got played. We all make mistakes, Y/N. And Ijust want you to know that I’m here. I want to help you, make you happy, make you feel loved. There are a lot of things I want to do with you, make forts under covers, run away together. I don’t care what they think or say about you. I love you, Y/N. You can start over, with me. You can transfer to my school? Whatever it takes just for you to be happy again.”

“I don’t deserve you, Jaehyun.” You said in between sobs.“You do, Y/N. We all deserve someone to help us.” Jaehyun said as he wrapped you in his warmth. You hugged him back and buried your face into his neck. He smelled of coffee and cologne.

“Would you run away with me?” He whispered.

“Yes.”

#ivy writes #jaehyun #nct 127 jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct #fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun fic #nct fic #nct 127 fic #nct 127 jaehyun fic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #angst #nct angst #nct fluff

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castlehead · 7 years ago

Text

and she no priestess, human. [w/ tribute to mnemosyne] [work in progress]

"It rains across the country I remember." ^^Trumbull Stickney. Mnemosyne

With only a memory, you that I equip there at my side, like a beaten sword, a sword, tho tamed and tried--tamed awhile, by some tracts of years off into distance--with this, I only try at offering fighting words still one more chance- To have all of it down--pleasingly enough,--tho risking an obdurate, bleak response, from whatever center, existing for the welfare of my soul, of memories mine, folded fetal, quivering in paroxysms in eagerness: eager for its treasure, then, ye soul quits chrysalis again to sniff diligently after its final purpose, for life and living it at last, sniff its obdurate shape, and after all the toil of those heaved years!, years, barely made of strength to push cog: soul, ye see, ye want to tell nobody how ye feel so that only they know, ye desire to quench desires, taper them to understand it all, no need to prep antique response, when ye get all thrust in th harlequin light, again the deviant modest limy corpuscle, there, true as any, nonetheless: itself tho after some anomaly, lichen-gray manner-matter, attempted language: an attempt to green the friendly lichen fresh and sing universes out of- comatose, once again, a once persuasive tongue- For at least a time. If it was romance--then I--was young:- If it stung, way before I was prepared, I’d still distill the poem later, more, to shift my novice, sheer devotion back, enjoy some righteous footing, with the new deliberations hungering a cinch to arguments based best and stalwart in some iota's maturity--felt--on that persuasive ground as dignity again--and, harrowing as an orator, lawyer, I would no longer dance- Around the issue with my words, with words issued uselessly to nothing: of no consequence: without bothering to and reeling, introduce- My own sour leaves of torment, unremarkable though state- In living blood, in blood seated to a boil and drenched with a hate- Left dormant for so long: entrenched, in me: and as to who that was: what lies destroyed now at those feet, I did and readily produce:- And they were things of love, of love once had for one not much to me- When she should have been all: she who flowered budding in that novice soul- A tender, for its frantic muscle beating out its toll- Of pride, incorruptible, and held to hustle free,- In her soft hands: but where to start, what is it there in her that- Mocks me still in being so lovely, to no point: aporia:- That is what rings true in this distant heart: this story’s a- Wound fattest at the middle-mind of art: faithless rat,- Thief, grumbling his sorrows to the girl now out of life, his life,- And I no better for it despite liquor: well, we met in February:- I had just gotten kicked out of school: any form of sanctuary- Was alien to me: my demons: a rattled skeleton: cruelty: strife- Had been my mistress, acute in its exercising torments sordid and- Mysterious: I had no sympathy for myself: rarely courted- By some blithe female-other, if at all: I thought myself worthless: forded- No byways: scoffed at functionality: I confess my hand- Shakes as I write, and if I did not feel it then I sure do now:- That is, I feel--the welter of such a thing--to coast,- Dull--beating out in rhythms, inconsistent yet verbose- To coast a spark: from out the socket: in some visitant kerpow!:- Like all things excitable: perhaps I am not one for love:- And if I were, why does it always happen . . .- Happen that things go wrong in every single way: no satin- For these sheets, no roses on them, none to stay: but, above,- Beyond my so-long-stunted condition: what is there: to reflect on how it went: yeah: perhaps, , ,- Perhaps those things--beyond--need voices too: and if I were- To explain the bare-bones of it--of I the heartless cur- Well then, I’d always thought, why spit your lapse- Merely to lessen the being of u both: o catatonia: why make things alive, electrical:- Why, besides to bring hurt, a hurt as this, back again:- I told her I wished her to remain as she had called me partner---friend: endless friend:- While she repeated that I did not love her: piece this spectacle- Of a perdition together, slowly, if you will: road, ruinous: could- I live it out, this WORLD, could I live this- WORLD out to the end without her answering rough kiss,- Without her whispering stuff to me: as I sleep: should- I answer back to her that I always will: will always as some bleeding idol--sacrosanct--hold- All that she was to me then close: but there is some like- Disdain: causing conflict, in me: and which will spike- A nerve to turn the flicked switch on, to illuminate the bold- Feeling: in and of this haunted room: this psychic box that I am in: awhile, housing terrible the sentiment- More darksome, till the light is shed: best not to dwell on those events: however- My mind wants me to go there, do that, flick the switch, out of panic more than ever:- Wants me to sift through these rough relics for a precedent- Remembrance: of that time which will in turn shift all- My psyche: but, this cannot happen: dysfunction- Is of many pathways--and--ain’t of a source, a core, a plan: yet again: coward-corruption- That does not exist, even if I were to go way back to that pivotal fucking hour: that fucking shenanigan: yes, oh, the impossible gall:- That was the hour, come to a head: that afternoon, the one to shape my goddamned double-character:- And from that misshapen point forth: I like some crazy seraphim- Hopped up on blow set myself dirigible beyond the rim- Of a window, three stories: incorrigible: foul paramour, foul comedy, foul actor:- And a surgeon of the self I verily hid: with little progress nor a surmounting to success- In either: fair actor, beautiful myth, you: you voice:- To the bone of a word: speak your dumb, intrinsic, choice:- Intrinsic at the time at least: joking, yet not coy: airs from out an idle throat, blessed- With a conviction to your, my sabotage: yeah, to nearly die and make of you, me, a jabberer: fool,- Ungrateful for the rights of life: the many voices of a literate- Delirium: spent ways: to nearly die and so then murder all thems nifty gifts, ideas: the passionate- Qualms I had once for space and time: perjured, yes, by doubt, the quartered-out rule- Of doubt over this my, his, the fool’s rendering of himself- As swerving between epiphany and collapse: but if- A chart of his collapse--a nimble though inordinate, stiff,- Meter-making-argument--is called for might a mumble taken timid off the shelf,- Might I the fool take a muttered meaning subtly off the shelf and leave a void a nullity a vacancy- There: place there instead a good, good thought: and to remain- So: or will this all string out into disorder, or will all of it arraign- With many points myself, yet make no honest composite, yes, of contorted wires, electric voices in a darker style: some sort of risky symphony:- And rather, be the socket fried by her, an atom of her laughter all, now, that’s left- To keep her memory cradled warm and soft in my hard hands: shit’s still to be talked about and never, Ever reconciled:- Again to say it, there’re things recalled but not affirmed: like an amateur, a child . . .- Like as a child I sent a letter to the girl: after we broke it off: wormed-out lies, mostly, dumb, bereft- --Unfortunately--of catharsis, nay feeling: I know no form at all of closure, and I could not say how- Much this human once had meant to me, can guess there is indeed- Some inmost part not ever to reveal itself: despite---does not---does not ever need to, does not heed- The psychic fatalities endured enough to prove a lack of reconcilement an eternity to wait for: oh my: oh wowy, wow:- I’m fucked up: remember sitting on the ground, drinking, writing about imperfections: nonsense:- Poetry, elliptical, mendacious, most of the time, and I regarding precious time to light the day a precious waste- Of ink and energy: yet most of what I write’s in some good taste,- However incendiary I try to be: smoking blunts in hood, for example, ranges in taste, depending on the person you are talking to, or about; but I don't look down on stoners for liking good weed, and myself could use some weed, something subtle yet intense: Stealing meds: groping through the cabinet of a dying man: gaining- Weight, and losing friends: freaking out acquaintances with- A telling of my many exploits on the ward: obsessed with numbness and the pith- Of pits, of being in a pit: never courteous to guests: staining- A nice shirt with wine in an overfed glass: cigarette graveyards: turning blue:- Burns on my arm, on my mattress, on the soiled rug: of course,- That bum is still in me, will be, forever--and--the measures taken to acquaint myself with simple chores- Of daily life, difficultly perceived: as for therapy: or pills taken for being unable to ‘normal’: I feel a new self sap me of motive for that madness once treasured with amativeness, without a need for all that--honest love, though once I was tethered, malnourished: ultimately, deluded: stew,- Stew in your own radioactive funk, find it actually poisonous: people seem- To possess themselves well, better than I feel I can: but,- Each one of us is as powerful crazy as that fair actor, surgeon: make the cut- And find you were and are the one who holds the knife: that as you cut, burgeons forth the beam- Of a flash of judgment, yet who do I go speaking to: to her: the girl,- The one most well-possessed, without an issue: and yet not so complacent:- Perhaps she’ll whisper and I’ll whisper back this tune: nascent- Love: the beauty and the wonder of a life in a croon, waiting to unfurl:- . . . . . . . . Waken from this dream: wake up naked, your mother embarrassed- At my naked self: when she opens the door to witness the bedsheets on the floor: from my kicking them in slumber: hot-to-trot:- I remember this: I remember walking in KINGSTON with you, smoking pot--:- How we stumbled onto houses long abandoned, joking: the dead, cement slab of a lot’s crumbling: crevasse:- Feeding the beast: she was a virtual pharmacy, and I took- Advantage of that: woke up early to steal her ADDERALL:- She slept in, usually: what a stupid thing: matter falls- From out my brain in a mess: I wanted her to bring it: I look- For it in her purse while she’s in the bathroom: she gets- Used to me asking for pills, she thinks I only love her for- The pills: she called me while I was in the hospital: you’ll get what’s in store, be ready for- It, I told myself: she was furious at me: the one obstacle to her existence: told me since we met- That I had been a ruin: a weird time in my life, sorry, I said: she said- That didn’t mean a thing, and I should stop saying sorry:- It loses meaning: I had just wanted to go to my old class's grad party- And see old friends from boarding school: I was nearly dead:- Before that day was through, sad: we met in February: it was snowing:- We embraced in the elevator, kissed ourselves through the door:- I read her my work on the couch, each in the other’s form,- Understanding: in this melding, seeming meddling: crouched in a veritableness: knowing- However, that--in that moment--we were both of a body electric, dosed- With heated ecstasy, nearly painless: till she left:- Beforehand I had told her chattering that yeah the deft- Wind blowing was too much, the snow was old, the frost hurt the tip of my nose: we arose- From a tunnel where the both of us had lain in the powder to embrace:- Later on in the relationship she would ask me if that was- Magical: I said it wasn’t, but it had been: because- I was too much a skeptic of my own feelings: a sin: what a waste:- Let’s go look at zebras in the museum on the other side of the park, I entreaty:- That was at the beginning, when we first met, so long ago, it makes me feel old:- Yet I am still too young to be but dross chipping off in the corrosive cold . . .- Chipping paint, toys of some bizarre playhouse: unmanned, lost: with dark, small, lifeless, beady- Eyes: on the other hand, her eyes were brown and deep: I remember clutching her soft accepting hand- And looking at her in this restaurant: it was this joint or more like a café called FRENCH ROAST,- A block away from my parents’ apartment in NYC: we split the tip: I felt liable to boast- The still-imploring flame of the relationship: I was still getting the lay of the land,- But it was new, new, yes, and exciting: when we got to the museum- We realized it was the MET, not, as we thought,- The MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY, and were caught- In line, people-watching: fatuous mystery: clues, see ‘em:- We looked at the paintings, sat outside on the wide stone stairs- Afterwards: I was kind of cold and started to shiver:- She took her arms around me and I stopped: just a sliver- Of affection: still, my WORLD dropped: somebody cares:- At least, someone did, did care: my parents had been fighting- A lot, and I was in the middle of it, having gotten- Kicked out of school, as I said, and sent back home: really, of how volatile living in that apartment had been I had forgotten:- I spent most of my time, before we met, just feeling: writing- Down my thoughts: for fun, but also because I believed- I had a thing or two to say: now not sure if I’ve got- Even one thing, at this point: one thing to prevent the rot- Of this brain: the death of me: as long as I can sing as I have, nay, as long as I have breathed- I have not lived in vain: have not dropped out of the race:- Perhaps, the other needs a walloping: needs to be bullied:- Perhaps the other was her, is her, and her image, sullied- By examination, now seems to me an utterance of the lineage of all grand whopping space- And time: the first three months were fucking divine:- Some of the happiest times of my life: hard to let her know- That, though: could not: a foreign feeling of inspiration was, yes, close at hand, and the flow- Of the WORLD near-electric: and grand, so grand as to align- The planets: I remember saying how easy it was to visit her:- I took the METRO NORTH to POUGHKEEPSIE and she’d pick- Me up after work: she was a waitress: her boss, a prick- Who was always hitting on her: it was a toss up: spur- Of the moment sometimes, sometimes we’d plan shit out in advance- And go for drives in her car: a compartment under the radio- Filled with butts: her hair reminded me of beautiful, slick crow-feathers: holding her was like holding a little bird: eyes all worried and sick with askance- You’d say to me: don’t talk about my boyfriend like that: whenever I badmouthed myself: I guess I thought I was being, in a self- degrading way, a young man of more interest to her: how I would delve, articulately!, delve- Into attractive pessimism: particularly the shit about hiding from my mom when she was pissed off, under a table--fucking clever, DAN: I said, I still remembered seeing the string from her stockings Hanging, as she was looking for me: and I naught but a child, Five years old, I said: a pack of lies, all of it: sort of: mild, The actual experience is, compared to how we are affected by it: pretty brown eyes: hawking Shitty emotional wares--pulling the ‘damaged’ card---the soft spot for to defend oneself--embittered argument-- I don’t see myself being more manipulative towards anyone else: More manipulative than I was to her: love in its weird spells Grows wary in a wary mind of some feared alteration after altercation, some negative tourniquet: And makes to spoil the whole damn thing, before it can blossom Properly: this’s, I guess, a give-and-take sort of deal In that the pattern’s between two axes: helps me heal: For I reckon I am split in two: it helps to know how I seize from language as this a sort of masochistic delight: awesome Duality, funny wavering: there’s two narratives, two wires Snapping in their channels without shorting, yet: I bet You’d understand, for you inspired it: this sorted set: This theory of a conflict, spinning in chaotic, sordid spires Of ramification: what’s there to lose to write: just write it down: But there’s a line I crossed: I remember: the commerce Of our tongues, wiling in heat on that humid day: we nursed A popsicle--corny enough--together: coquettish: tumid’s the memory in my mind: moving bits from mouth To mouth: I could never show you this, you’d have too little To say about it, really: perhaps this is the letter I was supposed to send you: I don’t want it to be dumb, it better Not be dumb, this time around: if so, I’ll suck my thumb and maybe fiddle- -My finger up my nose, pick out a winner: I can’t hold it all, Can’t begin to begin: begin to know which narrative Follows which: which anticipating, which receding, which to give More elaborate ideas to: and of course, before the season, fall, It was done: you found out I snatched your meds: personal, this- -Is a personal poem: this is going to be a personal poem, I’ve decided: damned if I’m not writing honestly: open, Of course, to feedback: compliments I cannot implement: fallacy: oops: well, with my left fist In my mouth I’ll start from the aporia: the clouded mind’s more A muse than what I could write with one clear ghost of a thought up in my narrow noodle: Mirage: every thought’s a flaw: thought is a flaw, futile, Incorrect---a translation: it is an awe of what I can’t get and is then sore With wanting, needing: not getting, not having: zero pleasure In my life, since then: wow, that’s fucking depressing: Well, put it in: keep in all this: scattered . . . high as killing-voltage: this letter’s more and more an oath: as it quickens: And, regarding the point it makes, somewhat, about love: well, here’s the lesson: it’s both her, I’m very sure--am deadly sure-- Both her and me I’m chasing, and chasing away: that’s the story Of my life I tell myself and thus the WORLD: perhaps mishaps Will always befall me, and perhaps passion’s electric as it snaps Will finally short out: at least for now I’ve come across one thing: a dismal, crucial action’s core: see, The clues deny what it is of power they own and want what they don’t: I’ll drink My tears, and hers, and call both anguish, equal- -In intensity: the tenacity of this poem has no sequel: No palinode to harbor: the narrative gets darker--in the loam--as I think myself alive, drift towards the brink, And fall: crucial decision: I remember seeing my feet in the air As I fell: remember how loud that fucking evac-helicopter Was: it was graduation day for the school I used to attend: the pain and slightest rapture Of seeing friends who had hazed me to the point of, by the end, laying bare My veins: I bled on my shirt, once: that’s how they found out, then- -They stopped it all: hazing, bullying, whatnot: I don’t blame anyone but myself: let’s make- -That clear: stupidest thing I’ve ever done: take This thunderous word, suicide, no fun--and know that I have myself taken, wagging, a certain drastic spin On the lightning-bolts of its proverb: meaning: have seen despite the other side, the relieving side Of such a horribleness, thus know it horrible: rumors about me throughout that school, more than anything shook- -Me to the bone: I felt naked, and the energy booked For the center of my mind like an itch: a malady: when I hit the ground a great, elaborate sigh Escaped from my lungs, and then I cried out in agony: busted my back: I said: wasn’t high enough: the medics saw my arm and said: this Kid’s got problems: I had gone off into the woods to do the deed: something in the WORLD was dead: amiss: That morning her mother had called her a basket-case: I seem to recall that she, retaliating, keyed her mom’s car after the attack: Or maybe I just wish she had: memory is bias, solely bias: This is all subjective, nothing more than one view Of the subject: of this beauty: crow-feather girl: could the clue That tortures itself into existence pound upon the dais And call himself a man of reason, a man with some conviction To his name: it’s all absurd: life is absurd: she is, indeed, In this rendering, not more real than if she landed in the words that feed- -My infant sorrow as a visitor: now mature and yet still branded delicate: schisms: . . . . . . . . Here is my soul, this is where it lieth: schisms lift Me up, tell me: across the wide WORLD round there might Be things that, divisive, divide more in the fight To wreak it all whole: why not as a mark of assiduousness sift Through the rest of what you said, before, DAN: tell the other other, bickering--continuity--off: Give her, me, the both of us--naught--but voids to wheedle through: deconstruct- -This text to nonsense, you will see her face for just one moment: then will, agape, see that mug destruct: lucked Out, I did: always told myself, later on, after the failures to win her back, that hope is my enemy: I like a knee-jerk ape now scoff At all the waiting for her to come back: all that wasted time: how benign: how benign, how trivial: The only time I rubbed the nape of her neck--shit--was while she was driving: She sent me an email once that listed the things she loved about me: outright fifing- -Through the village: to get all the goddamned rats out--I guess--however that fucking parable goes: hail, mystical One: between us there is a whole person, still: recognize That, maybe you do: I often wonder where in the somewhere You are: talked of living in BELIZE, HAWAII--heck--taking care To not tell me too much: I said I wanted to visit: bet that gave the hairs on that neck--your neck a rise: Bet there was something in you didn’t want to see me: cloistered In some prescience of THANATOS: EROS gone: among The things she listed--apologizing for a phoned-in attitude as to whatever description of my attributes she stated before--were as I read them after the disaster enough for me to cough up a lung . . . Oh, the smoke blown: I thought: the both of us doubtful, pitying ourselves and our compliments: yet, rough, uppity, boisterous, were- -Without parallel regarding loving banter: quick with response: That quickness would transmute: after awhile: to a loveless Cancer: an erosion: codependence, arguments: the stuff less Charming about the both of us--mostly, me: this still, like some lone pendant--memento mori--haunts Me: I remember, the girl: you put little bits of paper with sweet Stuff in my pockets---like, I love you, or, You’re a dream, or, We’re made for each other: You always talked about how crazy she was, your mother: And now I seem to recall when you thought in the heat Of the moment that I’d hit you: so: you barricaded yourself in the bathroom- -And cut your thigh with a razor: So many times, including this, that last: though we were, are doomed: that last, That last in my mind: we embraced, electric-hateful, and cried: I told you, I would not ever do that: oh, the past: It fucking sucks: from the moment you smiled at me on that snowy day--no matter what--we had to have been doomed: You referred, in your letters to me, to an idea of the relationship between us making you sad: I remember little anymore: I am my past: I resign: But maybe there’s not much in it to examine: no, I’m fine: I’ll be alright: fatuous, fatuous mystery: it wasn’t that good: then again--to belabor the electric-repetition that she was, is to me--this appropriation of duality I’m plagued with--was not bad, not bad, not satin-covered and yet it was not bad: and so the muse, she dies, I am rid of her: am rid of her, not her: the muse, not her: not bad:

#poetry #poem #powtry #pome #heartbreak #regret #first love #etc #revision

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murasakiyuzu · 7 years ago

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43 + a ship of your choice!

is it

is it still a drabble if its 1k? sweats

i guess i should practice drabbles a bit more lmao………

but this rly helped me get my Writing juices running again, so thank u for sending me a prompt, @satyr-syd! i hope ull like this silly thing, i rly admire u and ur writing

edit: read on AO3 here!

Oikawascurries into Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s shared apartment, banging the door shutand pressing his back against the reassuring solidity of wood. His chest isheaving and his hair… is as perfect as ever, somehow. Yet, out of habit,Oikawa raises a hand to fiddle with his bangs.

In theliving room couch facing the door, Hanamaki and Matsukawa turn their heads toregard him with twin aloofness. Hanamaki is lying on the couch with his headpillowed on Matsukawa’s lap, while his boyfriend is holding a bunch of grapesin one hand and seemingly using his other one to pop one purple pearl at a timeinto his beloved’s waiting mouth.

Oikawaspares one thought to how ridiculous his best friends are before he letshimself slide down against the door and sits on the floor.

After aminute of silent observation, Hanamaki and Matsukawa resume their earlieractivities.

“Aren’tyou going to ask me why I’m here?!” Oikawa protests while Hanamaki blissfullychews on a grape.

“Thisgirl on TV said it’s best to not pressure your friends into telling you theirproblems and just wait for them to come forward on their own,” Matsukawatells him lightly, pushing a grape between his own lips.

Oikawaopens his mouth and grapples for a retort, but ultimately groans infrustration.

Hanamakiglances at him with a smirk. “What’s your problem today, pretty boy?”

The airaround Oikawa seems to brighten up; whether it’s because he’s finally receivingthe attention he wants or because he’s been called pretty, it’s hard to tell.Perhaps it’s both.

“Youknow about Iwaizumi Hajime, right?”

Matsukawablinks. “The Iwaizumi Hajime in the same year and major as me? The guy yousaw talking to me on my way out of Art History class and proceeded to shamelesslyintroduce yourself to and spent three entire days telling me he’s been sculptedby the gods? That IwaizumiHajime?”

Oikawafrowns, but there are splotches of red and pink across his cheeks. “Yeah,that one.”

Matsukawaleans back on the couch with a satisfied little grin. “What abouthim?”

“Well…”Oikawa wrings his hands in a rare show of awkwardness. He usually plows througheven the most embarrassing of stories with a devil-may-care smile, so Matsukawaand Hanamaki’s joint interest is obviously piqued.

“Weeeeell…?” the two echo him inteasing coos. Oikawa glares at them and breathes deeply.

“We’vebeen hitting it off pretty well since we met. I may look like an asshole when Isay this, but I didn’t expect him to be so thoughtful when he’s all big andmacho and… has beautiful tan skin and gorgeous arms and-”

“Focus,lover boy,” Hanamaki sing-songs.

Oikawapouts, but gets back on track. “Anyway, I haven’t had the best of luck inguys-”

“Becauseyou keep picking pushy ones,” Matsukawa interjects.

“Letme finish!” Oikawa shrieks, offended. “As I was saying, even though all the boys I’ve dated were gorgeous,things never seem to work out. We were on different wavelengths.

“Ithought Iwa-chan would be just like that and I decided to try harder to make itwork this time. But he’s completely different from everyone else! We had a few datesand he’s been really respectful of boundaries without my needing to tell himanything; he didn’t even force a kiss on me right on the first date!”

Hanamaki staresat him, long-suffering. “Did you come here just to sing Iwaizumi’s praisesinto the next century? We get it, you’re dating a literal prince.”

Matsukawa wordlesslyslides another grape into Hanamaki’s mouth, and he reaches a hand to Matsukawa’scheek, giving him a smitten smile. Before Hanamaki can tack on a “you’renot the only one” or something equally sappy, Oikawa continues with hisstory.

“I’llget to the point if you stopinterrupting, damn it. Anyway, in our last date, I told him I’m gray-ace. Ithought… he needed to know there’s a possibility I’ll never feel like havingsex with him, and he took it really, really well. He told me he’s dated ace peoplebefore, which explained why it’s been so easy with him.”

“Doyou want to marry him?” Matsukawa asks with a knowing smirk.

“Iwant to marry him!” Oikawa answers with a groan, burying his face in hishands.

“Then,why are you here now and not getting a dog with him or something?”

Oikawasighs and looks up at them once more. “We were hanging out in my apartmenttoday and watching a volleyball match on TV, and we started… making out alittle bit halfway through. We got into the subject of sex, but we were kind ofjust joking around… and I… may have said we should get neon condoms andsimulate a lightsaber duel…”

“YOUDID WHAT?!” Hanamaki screeches and springs up in the couch, very nearlyknocking his forehead against Matsukawa’s.

“I WASJUST JOKING, OF COURSE I WOULDN’T-”

Hanamaki isdoubling over in scandalous laughter while Matsukawa is just giving Oikawa areally puzzled look.

“Ican’t believe it… You said that… Oh my God, what would your fangirls say…The cool and smooth Oikawa-san…” Hanamaki wheezes. Matsukawa brushes apacifying hand against his boyfriend’s back when he starts coughing.

“Idon’t think that’s a reason to come here running,” Matsukawa says with a thickbrow raised.

“It istoo!” Oikawa cries out. “You didn’t see it- He just froze up and gaveme this really horrified look!”

“OIKAWA,YOU PROPOSED TO SWORDFIGHT WITH YOUR DICKS!” Hanamaki positively hollers,and there are tears in his eyes. Matsukawa finally breaks and sputters.

Oikawalooks red as a tomato and ready to flee, and Matsukawa knows the next place he wouldgo to is their university, and that’s one hour away. Better keep him close.

Matsukawabreathes in and puts on his best “voice of reason” face. “Listen,I’m sure you just surprised him. Did you even try to talk to him afterthat?”

“No, Ijust ran here,” Oikawa says meekly and curls in on himself. “What amI gonna do? Iwa-chan was perfect and I ruined everything.”

Matsukawarolls his eyes. “Look, Oikawa, what you need to do now is…”

A ringtone fillsthe air—an overlycheerful pop song that’s Oikawa’s new addiction. Matsukawa snaps his mouth shutas Oikawa tremulously retrieves the phone from his hoodie’s front pocket. He staresdown at the screen, and his panicked gaze tells them enough without words.

“Justtalk to him already,” Hanamaki sighs, peach-pink from his laughing fit.“If he’s that much of a prince, I’m sure you two can move away from thislittle incident.”

Oikawainhales deeply and exhales, nodding resolutely. Hanamaki and Matsukawa watchquietly as Oikawa picks up Iwaizumi’s call.

“Hey,Iwa-chan. Yes, it’s just- I’m really sorry, I said something stupid and freakedyou out. If you can just leave it…” A pause follows as Oikawa listens towhatever Iwaizumi has to say. Hanamaki has to hold in the whim to ask Oikawa toput the call on speaker. “Uh… No, it’s nothing, you should just forgetabout it…” Oikawa frowns at his legs, criss-crossed on the floor. Hesighs. “It’s from Star Wars, Iwa-chan. You know about Star Wars,right?”

Hanamaki issnickering again and Matsukawa has to lightly slap his thigh so he’ll get agrip. Oikawa’s bashfulness turns into shock.

“You’ve never watched Star Wars?! Iwa-chan! Still, most people know about thelightsabers, have you been living under a rock?” Oikawa stops, then gaspsin mock-offense. “You brute! We’re going to watch every one of the movieswhen I get there!”

Iwaizumisays something, and Oikawa is clearly melting with relief in front of his bestfriends. He smiles to himself. “Yeah, I know. Thank you, Iwa-chan.”

Oikawahangs up and drops the hand with the phone, seemingly lost in thought.

“Nowthat that’s taken care of,” Matsukawa says, breaking the silence,“can we commoners get a bit of time for ourselves? There’s some making outin order here as well.”

“Alright,alright,” Oikawa sighs and gets up from the floor. He smiles and opens hismouth to say something, but then halts. “I was going to thank you, but youdidn’t help at all.”

“You’rewelcome!” Hanamaki chirps and entwines his arms around Matsukawa’s neck.“Make us your best men at the wedding, alright?”

Oikawahuffs indignantly and leaves with a carefree wave of his hand. The door clicksshut and Hanamaki plants a kiss on Matsukawa’s cheek.

“Now, wherewere we?”

#the seijoh third years are lit my fave squad in haikyuu!! so heres this Mess #ill update this w an ao3 link later prolly #matsuhana #iwaoi #two ships bc i suck #asks #satyr syd #satyr-syd

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rickologyyy · 5 years ago

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Anyone can be a leader

You know, the moment I enter the classroom where the screening of candidates was held, I am very nervous. The next thing I knew is that I finished my turn laughing my ass all the way ‘round. Heto, heto yung moment na binabalik balikan ko nung tumatakbo ako bilang College Representative ng AFBA. I just left some sentiments in that room na, I need to develop my character by helping my ppl in ENT. Win-win situation kumbaga cyst.

August 3, 2019

For a glance, this is my AFBA Family,

They are the one who first handed believed in my capacity to represent the AFBA in the council. Hays. I lab dem berimats tho hindi lang halata hahahahah!

And time flies. Next thing I knew again is that I am seating in the Cultural Building at nakikinig sa Leadership Training Seminar—the second to the council’s bucketlist this year—sometimes murmuring, pero madalas nakikinig because the speaker was very very good! Her words are treasure to mine. I learned, more deeply than I usually heard, the line, “You never stop learning”. Yea cyst, kahit pa nakatapos ka ng doctoral degree mo, still, sobrang dami mo pang hindi alam sa mundo at jan na papasok yung sa leadership attainability mo. What I mean is, as a leader, or even as an individual, kailangan nag gogrow tayo holistically. Hindi pedeng, “I know what I know”. Kasi di tayo nan uunlad! hahahha. Marami nang pilipinong ganan kaya please, wag na u dumagdag!

Another point is that when she came in and start talking, she made a compelling stand na, hindi raw siya ang pinakamagaling na speaker na maririnig namin, or makikilala namin, so on and so forth. But I know what she meant, anyone can disguised as a leader and as a mock leader. I mean, sa typical na LTS, syempre diba mapaguusapan do’n ‘yung characteristics ng kung sino ang tunay na leader and the likes, how to manage BEYOND. She rest her case by saying that no leader can be a leader just for a title; a true leader do not consider the title, he/she cares how to influence/change/motivate one’s perspective in life. And by that, she left me with locked-jaw.

That was everything. Totoo nga, leadership is not a label nor a title, it is about how you influence someone else’s life.

Actually, bago magstart ang forum, hahahaha, may pagkakataon lang kaming magselfie ng bestfriend ko, si Pat.

Madalang lang kaming magkita kasi di tugma sked namin. Haha, dahil lang sa lts na ‘to, nagkita kami. yieeeeeee.

After LTS, may pakulo ang council haha, teambuilding daw. Pero alam mo ba huhu nawalan kami ng pagasang ituloy yung LTS dahil una,nagsuspend na ng klase at panaka-nakang ang pag-ulan. But stilll, look who’s unbreakable and unstopabble. Edi kame. charot, syempre yung mga SLCDs din no hahaha, Saya nila kasama

Despite the adversities(wow deep word) natuloy kami haha

Flex ko lang yung grupong na hinawakan ko hahaha. Sad lang dahil di na nakapag announce of winners dahil ‘tong team na ‘to, ewan ko ba, di ko sila kinakitaan ng arte nung nasa NIPS station na kame HAHAHAHAHAH. Kaya raw nila ganon ganyan and by result, natapos nila nang maaga. Anyway, nanalo sila sa lahat ng team. I can attest to the teamwork of this group, sobrang present.

Natapos ang seminar and teambuilding sa school at lilipat naman kami sa resort somewhere in San Felix. Do’n nangyari yung chibugan hahaha

Anywayyyyyy. Further discussion went through when CSC Officers from PUP Main came in. Ginising nila ang mga makabayang adhikain ng aming mga damdamin sa mga isyung kinakaharap ng aming pamantasan.

Yan, dito ko sila unang nakilala. They actually stayed and prepared themselves beside us (Pat and I). Naguusap lang kami ni Pat abt sa mga buhay buhay namin na namiss namin bec we can’t catch up each other’s time then they introduced their selves. Yung nasa kaliwa, si Kuya Wesley, Presidente ng Student Council ng CCSIS (diko sure! haha) basta IT/Computer lol yon so next is si Kuya Geron, VP ng CSC who tackled NPU Bill then right ay si Kuya Jonero, ang Presidente ng CSC. Alam mo yung nastarstruck ka sa kanila kasi of all the ppl, syempre except kay ate les, kaming dalawa ni Pat ang unang kinausap at nakipagkilala silaaaa. Katuwa,

So yun. Akala ko tapos na lahat lahat nung Aug 3 then Ate Les asked me on thursday if I wanted to go to LTS again, on the next saturday, August 10. Naalala ko shox, may quiz kami kay Sir Filipinolohiya. E kaso dahil maraming nagudjok na katamaran sa katawan ko ring magreview, hala sige, loaded ako. Friday, nasa trabaho ako non nung nakapagdecide kaya paguwi ko mejo pagod pa ako non hahahhaa. Tas heto na!!!!

August 10, 2019, 10:39

I was waiting for the next train to arrive. Time check, 10:39 na mga cyst. Malinaw ang usapan namin sa GC na ang calltime ay 5:40 HAHAHHAHAHA AND LOOK WHO’S GOING TO MANILA BY 10:39???????? I woke up late as I failed to recognized that I turned on my Ultra Power Saving Mode on my phone, this discharges the usage of apps, only those who are selected apps will run KASO, kaso di ko napili yung alarm clock na mag-run. so ayun, walang alarm na naganap. Luckily nagising pa ako HAHHAHAHH pero shet that was 7 something and last update sa GC, nasa Sta Mesa na sila HAHA. Nakakahiya kay Direk kasi siya talaga yung maghahatid samin. (Bale sabe ay GG daw sya sa mga wala haha)

Heto pa cyst major problem ko. So wala akong pera nung umalis so sabi ko magwiwithdraw na lang ako kaso nagtry ako, kaso failed transaction kasi di pa approve yung cheque ko!!!!!!! in short? i left calamba with only 250 something in my wallet. God saved me when all the food expenses was paid off by the event and only expenditures i have accumulated was transpo fee. Sabi ko nga e, parang pinipigilan ako ng tadhanang di umalis ng Calamba.

Time check: 12:02

When I arrived at PUP Main, I contacted Ate Les and said na I need to go to bank muna to consult my inquiry so dahil baguhan tayo sa Manila at walang kaalam alam, I used google map, very reliable. Sa haba ng nilakad ko, as in, pagdating ko sa banko, sarado. Windang talaga ako. Sabi ko, bahala na. So I travalled to Purezza to go to the Graduate School of PUP in Hasmin Building, don kasi ginanap yung LTS.

Pagdating ko ro’n, nagsisimula na nga. I see through the wide clear window yung iba’t ibang student leaders from different PUP Branches and Campuses. And there I got my seat with them.

Natawa lang ako dito sa dalawa naming JCO na sina Vixen at Lex na parehas bagsak HHAHAHAHAHA pero at least, maaga sila unlike me. Pero wellllll, iba pa rin ang may 8hrs of sleep! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

So moving onnnnn... the seminar with our speaker (in which i forgot the name) is very fruitful. More on leadership den. I can lend you my notes

This lesson has been taught to us by Ate Les. Paulit ulit na nga e pero never siyang magagasgas kasi heto talaga dapat. When serving ppl, despite all your indispensable ideas, strategic planning on events, managing your constituents, kung may attitude ka, waley ka cyst. The concept of attitude first applies to all, hindi lang dapat sa mga tao mo, kundi sa mga kasama mo. What is your defense mechanism when this kind of situation happens.

Sa totoo lang, I cannot catch up Ma’am because nakikita niyo naman HAHA ang arte ko sa notes ko. Habang nagtatalk sya, ako naman design and take down notes. Wala lang, masaya ako sa ginagawa ko e haha. Basahin niyo na lang yung nakasulat. Ganda ng handwriting ko no, gagawa na nga ako ng font style nyan e. HAHAHHAHAHAH char!

The talk was not that boring. She attacked with different aspects e. I must say, effective syang speaker, same with ma’am na nagtalk samin last LTS sa STB

So this is the Photo Op with Mam together with the CSC Officers from PUP Parañaque

and finally, ours...

And the ultimate one-time groufie of United CSCs from different Bs&Cs

ang nostalgic bruh

So yun na, after that groufie syempre kainan na at tuwang tuwa si kuya mo dahil hindi nabawasan budget ko HAHAHHAHAH

Moving on. Heto na. Si Kuya Dhel na nagsalita a.k.a. “KD” He talked about Crash Course on Public Speaking. Syempre, if you are a leader, dapat, at talaga, na may knowledge ka sa pagsasalita sa unahan. It is more on communicating with your constituents kung ano nang ganap sa paaralan or dun sa mga tinatarbaho niyo ang the likes.

Ako naman, since head ako ng committee sa PR&C, ako nangangalaga ng soc-med esp, twitter. I may not communicate before the thousands of iskolars but I can deliver a brawling issues and trends thru twitter. Anyway, lumilihis na ako sa topic ng public speaking hahahhaa.

This is my note again

And that ends the Seminar with Kuya Dhel. After that, may iilang activities pa na pinagsaluhan namin and finally, bonding.

Alam mo yung feeling na nakausap mo ‘tong mga taong ‘to na madalas sila yung humaharap sa media, ganito ganyan. Na meet mo rin yung mga nakisali, nakidiscourse para lang maipasa yung mga certain bills like Universal Health Care, Tax Tobacco To The Max, and all! nakakastarstruck!

One thing that I’ve learned is that, as a PUPian, we should know that we are one of the critical thinkers in the society. Binansagan tayong, “Balon ng kritikal na Masa,” because we never stop pushing each other’s extreme to meet the desirable result that we want. What I meant is, may mga ipaglabang di dapat ikinukulong lang sa kokote ng bawat isa. Kailangang i-materialized ang mga ito upang maging posible ang mga adhikaing ninanais para sa PUP at para sa bayan,

Natalakay din ang mga isyung SHB Revision at NPU Bill. Dahil dito sa LTS na ito, mas naging firm pa talaga ako sa stand ko. Mas naging sure ako kung saan dapat ako tatayo at sino dapat ang makikinabang ng aking boses.

Hays. anyway, enough for that. Kasi pagkatapos talagang magtalk ay pumunta na kaming 7th floor cyst. ang taas, walang elevator!!!!

Everything happened under the moon. Lahat nagsaya, lahat may bagong kakilala at bagong kaalaman. Lahat umunlad ang pagkatao.

Marami pang nangyari and I must uhm say that, everything was history.

Last words ko is that, sabi ko nga roon sa title ko, everyone can be a leader but not everyone can be a leader.

Ps. Im sleepyhead na while im typing this. dami kasing tigil. diko na rin ipo-proof read. bahala na kasi gusto ko na rin matapos to hahahhahaha

//sinulat ng 08/22/19, 22:00 something, natapos ng 08/23/19, 00:29

pps.

Night at the Manila, kuha mula sa rooftop ng Hasmin Building. Bawal talagang tumambay do’n hahahhaa. Naging maingat kaming lahat na di magpakita don sa guard sa baba haha baka masaway kami

#LTSisLyf #PUP #PUPSTB #CSC #journey

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newhologram · 8 years ago

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Survival is anything but typical

I don’t work hard at positivity and happiness and self care because I’m privileged or neurotypical or never had anything bad happen to me ever.

Why would someone with such a perfect (and not real, no one has this) life and brain and body need to work so hard for those things?

Maybe we need to ask ourselves that before we call every person or coping method *~neurotypical~* and be assholes about it. Maybe just don’t be an asshole at all, because neurotypical is not an insult? Why have we turned it into an insult? I’m really uncomfortable with “haha i make the assumption that ur brain is more on the normal side bc u recommended something to help, fuck u”, that’s really immature and gross.

Unless you can literally see into someone’s brain, unless you’re someone’s actual neurologist or something, maybe don’t assume you know whether or not their brain is “normal” based on something that is annoying but ultimately just harmless ignorance like, “hey, I know you’re in a lot of pain everyday, maybe this one type of yoga is something that could help, I saw it in a documentary!”

Like, let’s talk about that for a second. As a disabled person (physical and mental yay), these are the things I work hard at to try to make life more bearable and to stay alive because my conditions and the high levels of pain I’m almost always in literally almost caused me to end my own life: meditation, yoga, aromatherapy, herbs, self-massage, journaling, and there are more things like treatments I get or going to the sauna but those are just the things I do myself.

Guess what people who do not have such illnesses are constantly suggesting to me?

Me: *confesses to someone my illnesses and struggles* Them: Oh! You know, yoga might help— Me: Yeah, I do it twice a day. Really helps my spine out. Them: Have you tried medit— Me: Two or more times a day, Primordial Sound as well as Vedic mantras and yeah, it’s really great for so many things. Them: My cousin’s husband’s niece does this thing where they get the oil from thyme leaves, you know like the stuff you cook with— Me: Yeah, I know, I use white thyme oil actually, it’s excellent for nerve pain and fatigue. This is literally. Every new person. I meet. Who learns about my status as a person with incurable debilitating chronic illnesses. It’s exhausting and when I’m cranky all I can think is “what the fuck you just learned that I’ve been sick for several years and you think I never tried fucking yoga??????” But I don’t say that because I don’t wanna be a dick for no reason. That would make me a dick. There is no scenario where I would not be a dick for acting that way. People are not mind readers, the universe doesn’t revolve around me, strangers do not know what I’ve tried. My sister has tagged me in self care stuff in instagram that I already knew about, so should I call her a “fucking neurotypical” and be an asshole when she’s trying to help her little sis out? Sure, if I wanna be a dick.

My anger and frustration and suffering is not an excuse for me to be an asshole and snap at them and insult them for not knowing any better, for not understanding that yes, these things are very helpful and I already do them but they’re not cures and every person with illness is different and has to find different things that work for them. Yoga is great for me but might be too hard for others. In fact sometimes yoga is too hard for me if I’m having a bad flare up and I can barely stretch my arms without getting woozy.

I’m just cracking up imagining some tumblr “blogger” at a healing center constantly interrupting a self-care lecture like “UM IMAGINE BEING THIS NEUROTYPICAL LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!” in a room full of sick and disabled people who are desperate to learn ways to improve their functionality and lessen suffering. You would look like an idiot and an asshole.

When my self-care is mocked, my survival is mocked. When my survival is mocked, my will to live is mocked. When my will to live is mocked, my life is a joke then, isn’t it? I’m just a joke. Look at New, what a joke she is, making a yoga routine and sticking to it, what a joke she is, working hard to be nice and patient with people even when they piss her the hell off and on the inside she’s screaming. She must be #neurotypical lololololololol but oh wait her brain literally didn’t have enough bloodflow most of her life and her brainstem was compressed to the point where her brain couldn’t talk to her organs properly looool so #typical #amirite

I’m positive because on the inside, I’m actually very negative. The truth is, I hate myself. I hate my guts. I hate my voice, my face, my handwriting, my art, my videos, my life, my work, everything. It takes so much work to go about daily life with this much hatred for myself and sometimes it’s so overwhelming that my brain goes, “you don’t even deserve a heating pad or pain meds or acupuncture, you should just suffer and die and free your family from the burden of having to take care of you, and your friends will be much happier with you gone because then they won’t have to hear you complain all the time about how much pain you’re in!” I feel that I’ll never make my father proud, I’ll never be “someone”, I’ll never be happy, I’ll never find love, I’ll probably drop dead by age 30 and the thought is mostly “eh whatever” to me because I do not value myself and I’m constantly pushing myself precisely because of, wait for it and I hate that I’m saying this, internalized ableism is so deep in me that I do not feel that I’m worth what other people are worth. So my brain thinks, “it’s okay for YOU to make yourself suffer just to spare this actually able person a simple inconvenience because you are not of any value.”

Literally that is my brain nearly every day and I have so many up and down moodswings that I’m almost constantly overwhelmed by it. I work so hard to keep that shit locked in tight because if I don’t, it manifests as passive aggression and meanness and I DON’T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON ANYMORE. I DON’T. During very imbalanced and very sick times in my life, I was that person. I was awful. I was so deeply depressed and angry and suicidal that I acted like a fucking lunatic! I was mean! I was abusive! I was NOT A GOOD NEW! This was my mental illnesses aggravated by physical illnesses at their absolute worst.

It’s not neurotypical to want to be a better person.

It’s not neurotypical to do my best with what I have and be grateful for what I have.

It’s not neurotypical to look on the bright side even when everything looks shitty.

Like. I can barely work right now. I’m in my late 20′s. My 20′s are gone because I spent them sick instead of having normal life experiences. Last year I kissed someone for the first time in almost a decade, because illness kind of gets in the way of any kind of romantic life. One of my fears has happened. I’m too sick to do the work I love right now. It’s terrifying and I hate myself for it, I can’t stop feeling so horrible and feeling like I’m so weak for needing this time to heal and not using it to be working hard on set or advancing my career, and I have to maybe face the reality that I’m just done for and that was all I was going to be able to squeeze out of my poor sick body.

So you know what I do to deal with these feelings?

I meditate. I make lists of the things I’m grateful for. I look for the abundance so that I won’t tunnel vision on the lack. Because otherwise all I see is lack, all I see is my pain, all I see is my empty wallet, my debt, my bruises, my vomit, my tears, my blood, my tiny studded belt in my shaking hands.

So bite my disabled ass. It’s finely toned from all the yoga I do, so be careful not to shatter your teeth.

#anti-recovery #suicide #tw #chronic illness #personal #teku #alright oats felt time for yoga and meditation #WITH LOTS OF PEACE MANTRAS SUCKASSSSS

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operationrainfall · 6 years ago

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At the start of this week, I didn’t expect this to be a very exciting Smashing Saturdays. Sure, it would have the usual fun stuff, but nothing truly game-breaking. But then they announced a Nintendo Direct on Thursday, and boy did it deliver! So this is a special Smashing Saturdays, and it will gloss over the cool stuff revealed in the Direct, as well as having the usual character profiles, stage bios, music and more. So let’s get started with the stuff that happened prior to Thursday’s revelations.

While I’m not great playing as either Samus, I’m quite glad Zero Suit Samus is allowed to share the spotlight with her usual armored self. She’s as deadly as she is sexy, and in the right hands she is a devastating force of nature. Few brawlers are as acrobatic, fast or cruel as ZSS, and though it was cool watching Samus alternate between both versions, I’m glad they’re separate entities now. It was a bit too powerful to have strength and speed in the same package. Having said that, I’m more than ready to get my ass kicked by her in Ultimate.

I know, I know, they told us every stage was in Ultimate, but I’m still a little surprised Living Room made the cut. Not cause I hate it. It’s an adorable little stage, with the puppies and kittens frolicking about. What’s less cute is when I get beaned by falling blocks. Those selfsame objects can make it hard to smash foes off the screen, but I guess it’s not the worst stage. That would be a tie between Pac-Man’s stage and Balloon Fight. I can take adorable animals and blocks over those chaotic stages any day.

I like to make fun of Rosalina on a pretty regular basis. I call her things like Emo Peach and mock her as being a crappy divine entity in the Mario universe. But that’s mostly cover for my respect for how overwhelming of a force she can be in Smash Bros. She plays very distinctly from Peach, and definitely requires a lot of practice to master. But once you get a handle on using the Luma, she’s actually pretty fun. Though I didn’t play her much on my 3DS, lately I’ve had some decent luck using her. So maybe I will actually enjoy using Rosalina and Luma in Ultimate.

HOLY KRAPTRAP!!!

We all learned to respect the Klaptrap in the Jungle Japes stage. There’s few things as irritating as being dragged to a watery grave by the big mouthed Kremling. And now, he’s an Assist Trophy. Though this version won’t drag you to your death, he will chomp the crap out of anyone unlucky enough to get gobbled. Now, let’s move onto a quick recap of the fun stuff from the Direct!

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The Direct started with the reveal that Ken is coming to the game as an Echo of Ryu. Not surprising, also not that exciting. But then they revealed a new playable pokémon in Incineroar. I’m quite excited for the fiery cat luchador. He looks to play completely differently from Greninja, whom I detest playing, and looks utterly fierce. The fact he confidently poses when he damages foes is just beautiful. That wasn’t all, though, as they also confirmed that the roster of the game will be 75, and that we’re getting 5 DLC sets into 2020 with a new character, stage and music. The key thing to remember is that the 75th addition to the roster won’t be available until after Ultimate releases, and that’s a pretty strange character…

I’ve been saying for a while that I expected one more weirdo character in Smash Bros. Ultimate. And frankly, neither Ken nor Incineroar qualifies. But Piranha Plant certainly does! I was initially very confused by the reveal, but I wasn’t upset after seeing PP’s moveset. It looks to be a very tricky and unique fighter, spitting poison, shooting spike balls, lunging out of his pot and even using his leaves to helicopter around. Best of all is watching it crawl around inside his pot like a goofball. It shouldn’t work, but Sakurai is great at turning strange ideas into fascinating and playable concepts. The only downside is that Piranha Plant won’t be available until a couple months after the launch of Ultimate. But, if you register your game, you’ll get Bowser’s minion for absolutely free. Not a bad offer, considering the last time Sakurai tried something similar, we only got Mewtwo. Here’s hoping PP is much more functional and fun to play as.

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Less significant, but still cool, was that the Direct showed off some new Assist Trophies. The likes of Spring Man, one of the heroines from Maiden of Black Water, and even the devious Dr. Wily made the cut. Best of all, they confirmed that there will be 59 Assist Trophies in the game. I haven’t done a count of how many were revealed yet, but that’s still a great diversity of characters.

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Lastly, the Direct touched on the hidden mode that was previously glossed over by Sakurai. It’s none other than the Adventure mode, which is apparently called World of Light. It’s less story driven than Subspace Emissary, but it still looks quite cool. Some (angelic?) force has turned all the characters in the game back into statues, and morphed the other characters from their respective series into Spirits. These Spirits then possess the captured heroes, with one exception. Kirby escapes, and sets out to free his friends and defeat the force that caused so much chaos. As for how the mode plays out, it’s much more combat oriented than what we got in the 3DS and Wii U versions, which I’m happy about. The Spirits seem to replace the Trophies from the other games, though they also have a combat utility. You can equip Primary and Secondary Spirits to your character to empower them and give them various bonuses. When you fight your friends, you’ll need to satisfy special requirements to defeat them, and then try to capture their malevolent Spirit puppeteer. It all sounds fantastic to me, and I feel I’ll spend much more time in this Adventure mode than in previous ones.

A couple more updates before we move onto our Most Wanted Brawler this week. Both are Pokémon related. First, we have a new song from the series coming to Ultimate. It’s none other than Battle! (Wild Pokémon) from Pokémon Sun and Moon. It’s composed by Hiroyuki Kawada. The song is incredibly upbeat and cheerful, so it should make for interesting background noise.

Though I already touched upon Incineroar earlier, I felt we might as well post his awesome trailer! The feline champion hits hard, and uses his iconic moves Darkest Lariat, Cross Chop and Revenge, as well as another unnamed move where he tosses foes into the ropes and pile drives them. For his Final Smash, he activates his Z-Power and takes his foes into the ring with a devastating Max Malicious Moonsault. Though I haven’t had much success with other Pokémon brawlers, I’m going to enjoy learning to master Incineroar.

Now, don’t leave yet! I still have more for you in the form of a new Most Wanted Brawler this week.

Most Wanted Brawler Dixie Kong

I’m sure some thought I would no longer do the Most Wanted Brawler segment now that the 75 player roster has been revealed. But you know what? There’s still 5 unknown DLC characters on the horizon, so hopefully I’ll manage to speculate who one of those will end up being! After all, I kind of predicted K. Rool and Ridley, so anything is possible. And since King K. Rool just made it onto the roster, why not another character from the Donkey Kong series? Though I enjoy both Donkey and Diddy Kong, Dixie is just as important to the series. After all, she headlined a couple of her own games on the SNES.

Dixie is known for her golden locks, so it stands to reason her moveset would be based around them. For her Up B Special, she would hover upwards like a simian helicopter, slashing anybody in her path, then be able to gently hover towards the ground. For her Side B, I could see her grabbing items or characters with her ponytail, then hurl them to shatter on the ground. For her Neutral B, I could see her using her own Popgun to shoot bubblegum, like in Tropical Freeze. And for her Down B, perhaps she could twirl her locks in front of her face, deflecting projectiles. As for her Final Smash, I see it taking a page from Donkey Kong Country 3, and having Dixie team up with Kiddy Kong to put the hurt on foes. He could hurl her like a cannonball, then jump up and smash down on foes’ heads, and finally both Kongs would tag team their opponent into submission. I really think Dixie Kong could make the cut as a DLC character for Ultimate, and hope I’m right. We need more a bit more gender diversity in Smash Bros., and she provides the perfect opportunity.

Thanks as always for joining us today for Smashing Saturdays! We still have a few weeks left before the release of Ultimate, and will probably conclude that week. However there’s still a chance we’ll return to cover the upcoming DLC characters, so stay tuned to oprainfall!

Smashing Saturdays! Week 72: October 29-November 3, 2018 At the start of this week, I didn't expect this to be a very exciting Smashing Saturdays.

#2018 #Battle! song #Incineroar #Klaptrap #Living Room #Nintendo Direct #October 29-November 3 #oprainfall #Rosalina & Luma #Smashing Saturdays #Zero Suit Samus

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ephemeraldrms · 8 years ago

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WANTED PLOTS

These are Plots that I am interested in ding with my FCs. Please message me if you are interested in any of them!

Plot One: Like Siblings

Muses: Boa & any other SM Male Muse

Genres: Romance, drama, angst, fluff, fantasy, smut(maybe)

As far back as she could remember they were like brother and sister. His father, the king, had taken her in and raised her after her parents had died in service to him. In everything but name she was considered a princess even though she was not directly related. They had always been close and now that they were getting older, other feelings were beginning to surface. It was time for them both to be married off in order to create political ties so they were enjoying what was to be their last times together. For him, a marriage would be easy because he had it all and a title but for her, she was considered less desirable. Boa was of noble birth but she was hardly a proper lady of the court. She had been a tomboy, encouraged by her doting adopted father, and much mocked by her contemporaries. Not considered beautiful because of her attitude and humble features, she was dreading the next stage of her life with every fiber of her being.

Plot Two: Nothing Makes a Better Romance than Zombies

Muses: Narsha & any Any Muse

Genres: Horror, Action, Angst, Smut, Romance, and whatever else we wanna put in.

So it’s the zombie apocalypse and shit is cray cray. Narsha is a loner survival type who used to be a surgeon before the world went to shit. She’s competent, capable, self-relient, sexy as hell, and has an emotional barrier the Great Wall of China would be jealous of. Already a bit of a sarcastic loose cannon before the fall of society, her lack of human interaction has not done her any favors. She sees what she wants and takes it, including men. After the two of you meet while pulling a salvage run and escape together, she rocks your world and you just can’t get her out of your head. While she has a bit of a soft spot for you, she isn’t exactly about that kind of attachment. The relationship is difficult, volatile, and sometimes violent. Can the two of you make things work and make a macabre rom-com thing work or will you get each other killed?

Plot 3: Angels and Demons

Muses: A female of my choice & Any Male Muse

Genres: Horror, Fantasy, Angst, Smut, etc

She has fallen from heaven, stuck on the earthen prison by jealous angelic rivals. She is doing the best she can to cope, missing her wings that were so horribly taken from her back when she comes across you. You’re a demon or a vampire and you see her as easy prey but there is just something about her you can’t shake. Her attitude and spirit are infectious despite her situation so in some ways you admire her even though she is your antithesis. As things progress you can’t tell if you are rubbing off on her or if she is rubbing off on you, maybe a combination of both. But will you try to help her as best as you can and see that she has a chance at reclaiming her wings or will you cling to her and use her for your own needs?

Plot Four: An Entire Galaxy and I keep running into you

Muses: Bom and a YG Male Muse ( but I am flexible )

Genre: Action, Adventure, Mystery, Sci-Fi, Smut, Comedy, Angst

Born on a basically desolate planet and raised to be a priestess until the disappearance of her mother and then her father, Bom ends up joining in on a smuggling ring and other various crime syndicates to help solve the puzzle. Never staying in one place or with anyone long, Bom has a hard time making lasting ties with just about anyone because she is so focused on using what she can to find her parents. Unfortunately, instead of finding them she keeps running into you and this morally ambiguous pilot doesn’t know what to do with you. Are you part of the mystery, a distraction, an assassin, or something else entirely?

Plot Five: We Have All Of Time and Space

Muses: A female of my choice and any male muse

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Comedy, Dr. Who

You are the Doctor! A member of an ancient alien race from Gallifrey who stole a spaceship that can travel through time and space called a T.A.R.D.I.S. and you are looking for a companion to explore the universe with. Fortunately, you stumble across me and we hit it off so you decide to take me with you. Together we move back and forward in history solving mysteries, defeating bad guys, and having a great time. We challenge each other, argue sometimes, and sometimes we don’t really get along but that’s how it works. Are we just friends or something more and can we survive a Dalek invasion?

Plot 6: The Ice Queen

Muses: Gain & any Male Muse

Genre: Fantasy, Angst, Drama, Smut

This royal has a giant chip on her shoulder. Gain is a master enchantress in service to the late king right up until he dies. Most fear her and her unnatural powers as magic is not common and her chilly demeanor does little to help her case. Since birth she has been used to those using her abilities to get what they wanted, hurting her and those closest to her to manipulate her to get it so she built up a wall around herself. Her reputation is that of a cold and cruel killer which she does little to stop because it keeps everyone exactly where she wants them, at a distance. You are the heir in line for the throne and you find yourself inheriting her but what will you do with her? Will you make her your weapon, slave, mistress, queen or something else altogether?

Plot 7: SOULEATER

Muses: Dara and a male, preferably YG Based

Genre: Fantasy, Anime, Action

So Dara is a meister, a spunky one with a lot of attitude and strength despite her size but she doesn’t have a weapon. At least not yet. Then all of a sudden there you are at Death Weapon Meister Academy, a weapon looking for a meister to help turn you into one of the Death Scythes. Together the two of you bond, fight baddies, sometimes each other and have amazing adventures as you try to reach that ultimate goal.

Plot 8: Lost in Translation

Muses: Miranda Zhao and any male who isn’t Chinese)

Genres: Fluff, Smut, Angst, Slice of Life, Romance, Comedy

Miranda is a beautiful model looking for international acclaim as she heads out of mainland China looking for work. Lucky for her she stumbles across you to help her through the culture clashes, gaffes, and language barriers. Her warm spirit and easy smile make her easy to want to get to know but she has a real problem saying what she means and often gets her words confused. Are you able to help the radiant woman establish herself in a new place or are things going to maybe fall apart in the most wonderful way?

Plot 9: Were-Hunter Alpha, the Last of Her Kind

Muses: Boa and a male Muse

Genres: Supernatural, Action, Adventure, Horror and smut Based on the Dark Hunter/Were Hunter supernatural romance series. Kind of.

After Apollo cursed his children and their descendants for the murder of his wife, an alchemist who had married one of them crafted away for his children to avoid the premature death. He merged human with beast and created two new species were created. The creatures with the human hearts are born as humans and only can turn into their unlocked animal form when they reach puberty are called Arcadians. On the opposite side, the creatures with animal hearts that are born as animals and unlock their human sides at puberty are called Katagaria. Both types of were-hunters have their own species, clans, and customs as well as being at war with each other.

The war between the were-hunters started at their birth and carries to this day. Several of the clans have been decimated and thought to be completely extinct, as is the case with Boa’s. She is the last of her kind; an Arcadian dragon alpha whose scales are deepest ebony which earned her the title of ‘The Dark One’. The dragonswan is the favorite of the god who oversees all of the weres and because of that she is given the privilege and protection of running the Sanctuary (A place where all harm is magically forbidden and all species are welcome) in hopes that maybe she can find a mate to bring her clan back from the brink.

In this plot you can be just about anything you want: another were-hunter (Katagaria or Arcadian either way will be a good story), a dark hunter (if you are familiar with the series it makes a great option), a demi-god, a dream-hunter(again, if you know the series it is also a good option) or just a regular human. This storyline has a ton of options and I am willing to put in a lot of work whether you are familiar with the series or not to do something totally awesome so if you like the idea but are afraid because you are new to it, don’t worry.

Plot Ten: Bitter Enemies

Muses: Boa and Rain ( willing to change )

Genre: Slice of Life, Drama, Angst, Smut

You are both idols but at somewhat different points in your careers. You are at your zenith, the very height and she is just starting out but there is no denying her budding starpower. The agencies you both work for can basically print their own money if they get you both together on a project, there is just one problem; you two don’t particularly get along. You dismiss her as another fad and she sees you as a soon to be has been causing ruffled feathers. Can the two of you hold down your egos enough to make some money and what more will happen once you both get past the drama?

Plot 11: Into The Wilde

Muses: Any

Genres: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Action, Smut, Drama

The world is full of weres: Creatures that are able to shift their forms from their natural animal state into that of a human. Everyone has heard of them, monsters disguised as people who lure humans away to be slaves or worse: dinner. Yet, no one has seen them or can recall any proof of their existence beyond vague fairytales and myths. Common knowledge suggest there is some truth to these stories but would you believe it? Hidden far away from prying human eyes, the clans of the weres live in secret. Each species is an advanced and magical society that uses their technology, powers, or a mixture of both to keep the humans unaware of them. Though they had long been at peace, war has begun breaking out among them as their views differ on how to deal with the quickly growing human race. In this plot either or both can be weres from any clan, both can even be human or a mixture of the two.

Plot 12: SSV HEIMDALLR

Muses: Any

Genres: Sci-FI, Fantasy, Action, Smut, Drama

In the distant future mankind has made it out into uncharted space, discovered other intelligent life, and proceeded to make war and peace with them accordingly. Humanity has embraced its celestial destiny and made itself a powerful force to be reckoned with in the universe. They’ve colonized more than just the habitable planets in the Sol system and have moved into other systems in faraway galaxies. Starfaring vessels of every size, shape and function roam space at will almost like small floating cities on their own. Each ship has a crew and a purpose. For the SSV HEIMDALLR, a state of the art and technologically advanced warship of joint human and alien efforts, their purpose is peace. Designed for covert missions in deep and often hostile territory, this ship patrols the borders of the farthest reaches of the empire to defend it against enemy alien governments, raiders, slavers, and pirates. As members of the crew, you are tasked with keeping the vessel in working order. This plot is highly customizable for character creation and growth.

Plot 13: The Accord

Muses: Any

Genres: Supernatural, action, angst, smut, drama

The Accord: A strict set of rules for children of the night that was put into place to hide the existence of vampires in the world. The elders of the five clans enacted The Accord to protect not only their secrets but the species as a whole from both themselves and humans.

During the middle ages with travel and communication becoming easier it was clear that they wouldn’t be able to rely on information of their activities being lost or regarded simply as local legend. With the rising numbers of both human and vampires things began to spiral out of control and get chaotic, resulting not only in the deaths of the initiated but the innocent as well. The strongest and oldest gathered together to discuss the problem and came up with a set of guidelines for them to follow as well as dividing up all of their members into 5 clans to guide, protect, and enforce the rules should they need to.

The world is changing quickly though and there are deep rumors of unrest among those in the clans and those vying for power. A schism has begun to form between those who wish to cling to the old ways and those who are looking for reform. The reformers are a largely militaristic group who believe in vampiric supremacy and push for the total enslavement of humanity while the traditionalists believe in temperance and working from the shadows to remain safe.

Amid this tumultuous time, Narsha is a vampire living in the modern day United States of America and governed by The Accord. Her life and death are a secret she keeps closely guarded that still affects her to this day. She’s a loner who prefers to keep to herself and doesn’t particularly want to get involved in any sort of power struggle or entanglement.Things for this woman seem to be going pretty well for her until one fateful day turns her world askew; she met you. Are you a vampire with an allegiance or a human that wakes her up from her habits and brings her back to life?

Please note that these are not Twilight vampires, they are not romanticized, they kill people and enjoy it. That being said; they aren’t demons or inherently evil either. They are more like hyper smart predatory humans. Eating people is natural for them, normal, and they look at humans like steak or cattle.

Plot 14: Extra Curricular Activities

Muses: Any

Genres: Taboo, Romance, Smut, Angst, Drama,

Possible Pregnancy Standard teacher and student plot where all the details can be varied and customized to fit muses and mood. This can go anywhere from actual fluff love and courtship to full on rape and abuse of power. Either muse can be the teacher or student, from any walk of life or any kind of school. The circumstances of this plot can be determined in more detail once the characters are fleshed out and I’m open to a wide variety of options.

It should be noted that the student will be of legal or very near legal age for most countries (18) so they are a young adult. Kiddy porn is a no-go and I won’t even entertain the idea.

#krp #krp oc #krp au #krp plots #wanted plots

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irregodless · 8 years ago

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so i just finished virtues last reward and im kinda angry because now life is strange kinda makes sense

DISCLAIMER: so its been like.... what.... two or three years since i even watched someone play it? im going off of what i remember which means POSSIBLY i didnt remember an explanation or didnt pay proper attention to it, so be warned

DISCLAIMERx2 COMBO!!!: this is probably some old ass news but even in the height of its popularity i kinda came into the story late and even then i wasnt crazy about it. it was good. i really enjoyed it. but it was easier for me to kind of passively mock it for having bullshitty trumped up time logic. the reason for this AND FOR MY FIRST DISCLAIMER MOSTLY is because the game doesnt really explain it to you or why anythings happening. which is fair i guess. max isnt really a time travel geek or a scientist and short of having mr “time guardian” come out and exposition dump there wasnt much to do. maybe if warren was our protag he wouldve figured it out but i cant really blame max for NOT. especially since it was reality for her. to us we can examine it objectively and understand the rules governing it as we observe the limitations. i mean for all she knew she couldve gone back in time three times and it be over and she could never do it again ever

for my explanation ill be referencing 999 and its sequel zero escape virtue’s last reward as well as homestuck (because for all intents and purposes it makes intelligent use of time travel and with colloquialisms that make it sort of easier to digest than just abstract names.) naturally some spoilers may apply to all three as well as life is strange (obviously)

if you boil the story of life is strange to its most core element, itll start to make sense. life is strange in its simplest form is this: “max caulfield solves a murder/kidnapping mystery.” everything else that happens is just kind of extra or a direct component to that outcome.

i would often complain about how max could get mr jefferson arrested and save kate with her time travelly powers but not chloe when she couldnt have done anything about those things without her power either. i was under the assumption that her abilities were an anomaly and the universe was trying to fix itself by voiding out her effects on the timeline (ie saving chloe). but in retrospect thats kind of really dumb!! why make a story where the protagonist can travel through time but then have the story ultimately be about the universe trying to make it so that everything was the same as before??? it’s silly!! so heres the thing: it was not about that. it was about max getting the information she needed to ultimately solve the mystery (and save kate i guess. im not sure how contingent her survival was to the timeline being “alpha” but if you want to say God or the Sentient Timespace Universe [”Skaia”] were in control of the outcomes and thus dictating maxs actions mayb u could say They wanted to reward kate for being such a devout follower??? maybe her life or death was ultimately inconsequential to the outcome and it couldve gone on with or without her and max was just a good person and saved her. its hard to tell.)

in homestuck there are doomed timelines. timelines wherein something goes wrong that was NOT preordained by skaia (the self-aware universe, essentially, trying to maintain homeostasis in itself) or that directly cause a paradox. one example is davesprite. an action that causes a doomed timeline is john getting himself killed (with a little help from terezi) which leads to a strand where rose and dave are stranded in their game for months. dave then goes back along the timeline to the point that determined whether or not it became doomed. although incidentally, it was the act of him going back in time to stop john from killing himself that splintered the timeline between doomed and alpha (the right one)

thus the doomed timeline was necessary for the alpha timeline to be sustained. and thereafter it ceased to be. in other doomed timelines it either disappears entirely as with davesprites timeline, or everyone just DIES like in the one where vriska and gamzee collectively get everyone killed. it’s the price u pay for not playing the part the universe wrote for u

so in order for max to go along her story to figure out mr jefferson was.... who he was, she had to slip through doomed timelines. timelines that ultimately purged themselves if they went on too long by the means of the big storm. something similar happens in 999 where a certain character gets sick if the story goes in a direction that would lead to a paradox and cause them to not have existed. and if the timeline becomes too far gone, they vanish entirely. this is basically the role of the storm. its not to eradicate the stuff max had done with her powers because she “shouldnt have had them” but because that timeline shouldnt have BEEN to begin with! max was SUPPOSED to have her powers. whether it was all morphogenetic fieldy sciencey reasoning or if “skaia” gave them to her to solve this case, who knows, but its not really all that important.

i could probably explain some of this more easily by using the name of paradoxes, but i forgot most of the official names for them and my computers being kinda silly so i dont feel like taking the time to look them up srry

anyway

max alters the timeline by stopping chloe from dying. they then go on this great big adventure where chole is the ONLY person who could have possibly helped max unravel the mysteries. which i think is fair to say she was the ONLY person to be capable of it bc of her stepdad and her rebellious attitude!

so the two go on adventures and discover what i figured out within the first five minutes of story: MR JEFFERSONS A HORRIBLE PERSON

and chloe dies a bunch along the way because while shes needed to solve the mystery, shes STILL doomed. its like in final destination. you can run from death and avoid a few attempts on your life for a WHILE, but youre still slated for death and gonna die eventually. im not sure it was the universe trying to clear her out like an antibody so much as it was... she was just more susceptible to danger. it also could have been to make maxs powers stronger. the 999 series puts an emphasis on the psychic-y powers being strengthened and honed through LIFE THREATENING SCENARIOS

now in both 999 and vlr (i havent referenced the latter nearly as much as i thought i would!) the events of the games essentially unfold because certain characters figure out that... well... thats what happens!!! so they recreate the event so that it DOES happen so that they CAN have these abilities. they hone their abilities to see and interact through time so that they can avoid MAJOR DISASTERS and fix them, all the way establishing the very parameters that allow them to do so in the first place!

so small summary:

max gets the power to swap out her consciousness from a certain place on the timeline. she does so to save chloe (as a good person and for sentimental purposes) chloe proves to be the key to discovering the mystery behind the shady shit going down at the school she was still ultimately supposed to die though so she dies a bunch along the way because thats just what she does best by working alone doomed timelines where chloe is the only one who can help unearth the mysteries (and to be fair she deserved to be there too since it DID involve her ex-girlfriend) max finally discovers mr jefferson is basically straight up evil and can go back and use the information from her travels to bring him to justice chloes still supposed 2 die tho so shes either wiped out with the timeline by means of the storm that fucks up everyone elses life or she dies unceremoniously in the bathroom because one way or another: SHE WILL DIE max then uses the information to expose jefferson. its kinda weird but i guess paradoxically makes sense that the alpha timeline dictated that for life to progress properly, max had to just MAGICALLY know it was him. (maybe it meant to import me into the game so i couldve called him out as soon as i saw him. or maybe it was only one option. like kate living or not. max can expose him and save the day OR it can go on and be terrible. but that one doesnt have any justice in it so.....) kate lives and thats important? maybe?

basically it was not about trying to undo maxs “rulebreaking” powers

but it was about ENABLING them to do the job the universe/”skaia” (not that life is strange even.... HAS a skaia, but its easy for terminology) had planned for her. which was to fuck over jefferson HARD

the only problem is that to my memory the game never explains this is whats happening. and so when chloe dies youre like “wow nothing mattered.” but the game was never about saving chloe. it was always only ever about solving a kidnapping/murder mystery

it was ALWAYS about that

chloe was never going to stay alive. ever. the final choice was whether or not to return to the alpha timeline or not stay with her as an act of love and get wiped out along with the timeline

but the game doesnt explain this. or how the time travel powers came about or how they work or what they are AT ALL (from what i remember) so it all just seems convoluted and bullshitty

but in reality there IS something driving it. it only took me playing two other games to actually understand what that was.

which is why im not sure i can actually give the writers credit for it because i dont even know if THEY knew what was up or if they just made it up and it was just convenience i was able to apply meaning to it

the fact they (again as i remember) didnt address it in the game makes it really suspect though! and it makes it hard to support them as having done something intelligent. especially when it ended up with tons of players feeling cheated because it fell in line with popular “the illuion of choice telltale style” game lines. so when the final moment came it confused them because nothing informed them that it was ALWAYS a quest of futility and despite maxs emotions or feelings about it, it was never about saving chloe. she was only a tool to achieve the goal of outting jefferson

which i cant say i totally approve of from a general point of view! especially in light of “bury your gays.” but from a time travel-esque mechanic point of view.... yeah it makes sense....

but it doesnt really leave a good feeling. because max and by proxy the player were always under the misunderstanding they could save chloe when in reality they never could.

and the entire game was just. a quest of futility. (in that regard)

but we didnt know. to make it proper, the game shouldve let us into the secret. even if max didnt know and felt cheated at the end, the audience wouldnt feel the same. itd be dramatic irony. wed feel bad but wed know why it had to happen.

anyway, as the Old Woman says in virtues last reward:

“Death was always inevitable.“

#well im ALMOST DONE #i cant have more than like thirty minutes of dialogue yet but as i was digesting the timeline it hit me

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