#and typing all that made me go sad again lawl

[silverwasafukintrainwreck]

honestly that could have a lot of answers but unfortunately i just woke up from a nap and i can only think of what thing that usually makes me pretty Sad (tm)

like, when grown ass people go out of their way to bash the Warriors of Hope. especially people with the Warriors > Monaca mindset. first of all, the entire point of the game is that both sides of the towa war are being bad. of course the kids started it, but those kids are victims of abuse and being groomed (not sure if that’s the word i’m looking for right now but i’m using it anyway) into a fucked up mindset by junko. there is a REASON why every boss fight against them you find more and more reasons to feel awful about their situation. the game is not telling you to immediately excuse all the poor little meow meows, cause there’s this really cool thing called Nuance. danganronpa is never. not. about nuance.

anyway back to the original topic cause i diverged a bit. my problem is when adults insult their entire bloodline and constantly bash how awful and wrong and disgusting those kids were and how monaca especially is literal devil incarnate and should have died, etc. when the entire point of their plotline is “adults failed these kids. that doesn’t free them of their actions, but they only got to this point cause adults failed these kids.” and back when i watched an udg playthrough for the first time, which was a long-ish time ago, i was really close in age to the warriors of hope themselves. and back then seeing all the backlash and judgement and way the people hated these guys felt like a personal punch to the gut cause i knew exactly how they were feeling.

my conclusion, which comes from both analysis of the how people perceive that plot and my personal bias that came with my Emotions is that ‘adults that for the life of them Cannot understand the meaning of the warriors or why they’ve come to be like that, usually are also the type of people to completely dehumanize and see children as lower life forms.’ and while that may seem a bit dramatic, even i’m thinking that as i type it, the way i’ve seen some people talk and agree with the way adults in-universe were thinking made me really spiral.

anyway this is the take coming from the token young person in the danganronpa lesbianism circle. i’m going back to sleep now

Feeling spicy, but not too spicy. What are some yellow flags for people in the DR fandom. Like, not Things to Immediately Run Away From, but Things That Make You Think "🤨 I've Got My Eye on You"

[princess-of-inarizaki]

hello ! if ur requests are currently open, can i get headcanons / scenario of inarizakis manager having a celeb crush (like finn wolfhard, louis partridge ALSO if u can, can u please make the celeb crush louis patridge ? im kinda desperate for sum louis x reader scenarios lawl) and they let them simp for him cuz it's just a crush right ? right, what they don't know is that manager-chan has made some attempts for him (their celeb crush) to notice them and they have successfully made him notice them bc manager chan is such a charm, so what will be their reactions if they see manager chan holding hands with the celeb crush that they didn't worry ab ? thank u in advance if u do it ! but it's fine if ur requests aren't open,, i just didn't see any posts ab ur requests being closed hehe also sorry if i did this wrong 😭 this is my first time requesting sumthn 😭��

Louis Patridge x Inarizaki manager

Oh my goshhh hi bb. I'm so glad I was your first :D (yes, initially, requests were closed, unfortunately) but this was literally such a good one, I couldn't resist writing it. (I'm in love with Louis Patridge too, bubs)

Also, just a tip (if you're gonna request on anon, make sure you follow me, or have my profile saved because tumblr doesn't give you a notification when I've answered you 🥺🥺)

🦋; Inarizaki manager (reader) x Louis Patridge (celeb crush) x Inarizaki vbc ,, triggers: none!!

“Guys. DID YOU WATCH ENOLA HOLMES?” your breathless face was red due to fact that you've ran a long way, obviously to tell them this.

Atsumu and Osamu nodded in unison, “Yea, that Millie Bobbi Brown chick acted prett' well”

Suna rolled his eyes. “Hated it. Only watched it for Superman, though.”

Kita shrugged, walked up to you, and shook his head as he smoothed your hair down (the stray curls obviously came undone as you were running). “I don't watch fictious movies, y/n-san. Was it good?”

Eyes sparkling, you nodded. “It was more than good. Besides, that actor, Louis Patridge? The guy who plays Lord Tewkesbury? I think I'm in love with him.” a dream-like look glazed over your eyes as you stared at your phone wallpaper wistfully.

Suddenly, the bell rang, jolting you back to reality. “Oh that's right, I need to go to class now.”, and with that, you left six very stunned boys in the gym.

“I wonder what'll be of her crush on that' actor?” asked Atsumu with a smirk. Don't be fooled though, behind the easygoing exterior, he was the most concerned of the lot (and the most jealous).

“Yer' overthinking it. They live oceans apart, and he plays movies on the big screen.” drawled Osamu.

“Yeah, I'm sure one of us still has more chance with her than him, she's actually met us, after all.” chirped Akagi, with a positive note. He was determined to win you over, and a celeb crush didn't deter him in any way.

Suna nodded, whilst Kita and Aran exchanged looks. “It's important to be supportive of her though. Albeit it being merely a schoolgirl crush, this could mean a lot to her.” said Kita, and his tone invited no further disagreement.

Back at home that evening, thoughts of the handsome brown haired boy could not leave your mind, and you logged onto Instagram, hoping to see if he had posted any updates.

He had, and it was a selfie of himself, with his tousled hair in all its "I-just-got-out-of-bed" glory. Damn, this man was sexy.

Smiling, you typed out a comment. “No offense, but if being adorable was a crime, you'd have fine written all over you ˃ᴗ˂ ”. Yes, it was dorky, and cheesy all in one. But why not? He might not ever read it anyways, as your comment got swept underneath the hundreds of others that came after it.

Sighing, you settled down to study, with thoughts about the comment and Louis pushed out of your mind.

Meanwhile, as Louis scrolled through his comments, a single one caught his eye. She used a pickup line (how adorable) which caused his cheeks to redden. Tentatively, he surveyed her profile, before feeling the familiar sensation of having a crush, wash over him.

She was gorgeous, and although he knew he shouldn't stalk random pretty girls over the internet, he couldn't help himself. Her pictures showed her to be the manager of a club of some sort, and she was almost always posing with a teammate. A male, teammate.

But damn, that smile. Even if he felt a small pit of unfounded jealousy at the guys, her smile was enough to distract him from anything.

His fingers hovered over the "follow back" button, before he finally gave in to temptation by following her, commenting, and putting his phone away quickly, suddenly feeling like a schoolboy all over again.

That morning, before school, you could barely believe the notifications waiting for you on your phone.

"louispatridge_ is following you"

"louispatridge_ commented: nah, if anyone's fine, it's gotta be you ˃ᴗ˂ "

Of course, after having seven mini panic attacks, and fawning over him, you set out to tell your boys at the volleyball club the good news.

And all you could think about on the way there was how Louis Patridge somehow noticed you. It was unbelievable, and somehow turned your insides to jelly.

As soon as you reached the gym, you flung yourself on Atsumu, engulfing him in a hug. “Guys I'm so happy” you managed to choke out.

Atsumu obviously enjoyed holding you, and he gently wrapped his arms around you to feel your heart beating quickly

“To what do we owe the pleasure of seeing you this early, y/n?” joked Aran.

Wordlessly, you dug into your pocket and pulled out your phone. “He thinks I'm fine. Fine means hot right? I mean, I used it meaning hot. Because he is hot. And he thinks the same of me, that's gotta be good? And the emoticon. He used the same one, he's so cu—”

But you were interrupted out of your whisper-babble by the boys' shocked faces. He noticed her? This fast? “I'm so happy for you, y/n” said Akagi cheerfully, but internally he was demotivated and sad at the prospect of you dating the young star.

Suna looked at you thoughtfully and ruffled your hair. “That's my girl. She's just as amazing and capable as those girls on the silver screen.” and although it pained him to say this, he just wanted to share your happiness.

The twins were withdrawn, and Kita congratulated you, whilst obviously feeling a bit regretful for dismissing it as a "schoolgirl crush".

In general, the boys were upset, but not surprised. If you had them all collectively whipped for you, why not a movie star?

After kissing Suna's cheek and waving the rest of the boys off, you skipped all the way to homeroom, excited to share the news with your friends.

Silence followed your absence as Aran shrugged. “So are we gonna acknowledge the elephant in the room?”

Atsumu pouted and glared at them all. “Why did he have to notice her? Was it her profile picture? I've always asked her to change it, she looks way too attractive.”

Osamu nodded and jutted his bottom lip. “I mean, we think she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and apparently other guys do too.”

“Oh God make it stop” whispered Suna. “I wish she'd just stay ours. I don't mind competing with you guys, I'm obviously better, but that actor dude? No chance.”

“We'll be supportive” reaffirmed Kita. “Above all, she's out friend and we do not own her. If this makes her happy, we won't ruin it.”. Akagi and Aran were quiet.

Ever since that day, you and Louis have been slowly but steadily growing closer and falling harder for each other.

He tried his luck by texting you, and although you were shy and tentative at first, getting to know the real him was refreshing.

And you really did like him. He was intelligent, adorable, and realistic. The two of you spent your time from dusk till' dawn talking, whether on call or on text.

And no one could deny the blossoming chemistry between yourself and Louis. He was a gentleman in every way, and his honeyed words stuck in your heart, finding its way to be replayed every time you felt down.

The boys slowly saw you drifting away. And when you weren't, it was always "Louis this—" or “Louis said—” and frankly their hearts couldn't take it anymore. It was time to give up, and love you as a friend instead.

But immersed in his attention you barely even noticed.

One day, Louis called you as you were heading home after practice. “y/n! Love, guess what?”

“aw bubs, just tell me. I hate guessing. Mostly because I suck at it.”

You could hear him chuckle on the other side of the line as he softly whispered “I'm coming to Japan on the ninth!”

“Wait, Louis. Today's the ninth.”

“I know. So are you gonna come to that bubble tea place you won't shut up about, or must I come get you?”

“You're joking”

“I'm not. I've wanted to surprise you, and I swear it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Which includes getting kicked by a horse on set, but nevermind about that, y/n, I want to see you, so get your arse here.”

“Coming, Lord Tewkesbury”

“I might have a kink.”

You blushed bright red at his words. “shut up oh my gosh, I'll be there.”

Louis ended the call with a small smile on his face. He knew how easily flustered you were with him and he loved it. It was just another thing on the list of all the reasons why Louis Patridge adored you to hell and back.

The whole way to the shop, your heart was pounding. So you'd finally get to meet the guy you've been dreaming about ever since you laid eyes on him in a movie.

Ever since those late night phone calls and early morning texts made your heart race and eyes sparkle with wonder.

You were finally meeting him.

The familiar sweet smell of the tea washed over you, and a familiar face waited for you at the entrance. His brown eyes looked gorgeous in the sun and his hair was tousled exactly the way you once saw in a selfie.

Wasting no time, you ran to him, pulling him to a hug. He laughed and caught you in his arms, holding you closer as your legs wrapped around his waist. No words were exchanged, just touches. There were too many words said already.

After pulling away, he gently stroked his thumb through your features. Tucking a strand aside, ruffling your hair. His hands ached to touch you, and now, finally, he could.

“You're such a dork.” was all you could whisper, afraid speaking loudly would break the spell.

“Your dork. All yours.”

“Louis!” your voice went an octave higher as the familiar warm sensation came over your cheeks, painting them a delicate pink.

“Oh God, I've always wanted to see you blush. How can you be so adorable?? Oh God.”

You whined in protest, but frankly, you were too happy to be around him to care much at all.

Tipping your chin to face him, Louis Patridge did the one thing he dreamt of doing, ever since he stalked through your Instagram profile one fateful morning.

He kissed you.

And wouldn't you know it? You kissed him back. It was warm, comforting, and everything you thought it'd be.

Meanwhile, the boys had finished cleaning up the gym, and started heading home.

“Hey guys, do you wanna go grab some bubble tea?” asked Aran. The prospect of food, or sweet things always cheered up the boys, and after a day of particularly grueling practice, it was no surprise they agreed at once.

You however, were comfortably nestled next to Louis as you swapped stories. Your hands never left each other, though. He kept stroking your palm, just to remind himself you were here, right next to him.

“So how's the volleyball club, Mrs. manager?”

“Mrs? Do I look like I'm married?” to which Louis responded with a shrug and wink.

Coincidentally, the Inarizaki boys entered the shop at that very moment, freezing in their tracks after seeing you in a booth with Louis.

“Psst. Guys. Loverboy's here.”

“Should we say hello?”

“I might cry if they kiss” whimpered Akagi.

“We need to say hello, it's the right thing to do.” said Kita sensibly, as he walked up to the two of you. “Hello y/n-san, Louis-san.” said Kita with a slight nod.

Happily, you rose from your seat and hugged the captain, thanking him for saying hi, as you introduced him to Louis.

Soon, the other boys came around and one by one, introduced themselves as well. Honestly speaking, they were jealous. How could they possibly get over someone like you? Someone as spectacular and beautiful as you? But when they saw you face shining with radiance as you smiled at Louis, and the way his hands never left yours, they understood.

And they wanted you to be happy. That was the most important thing, above all else for the both of them.

“I love you, manager-chan.”

[wtfneopetss]

Masterpost of Padfoot’s OCs

This is long because I have a LOT of pets... So I’m gonna put it under a read more. Including their current customizations/any artwork associated with them. Going to group them by character storyline, starting with my one-offs. AKA not really developed characters set by themselves or with one or two other pets.

Stand Alones/No Real Character Development/Need to work on:

Amethystira aka Sis. Affectionately called my Queen of Bones. Sis was adopted as a baby xweetok and started being trained for the BD back when the obelisk was starting to be whispered about. She had a character along with some other baby pets I had but I scrapped them all but hers, adopted out the three other babies and morphed her into a pirate draik. Then I was sick of looking at her as a pirate draik so I painted her green. Then I realized I didn’t actually like draiks so I started zapping. Then the lab decreased a few of her stats. I didn't want to waste NP so I started fucking around in DTI and customized a Transparent Blum and decided I needed her. She’s also my booktastic books pet and will eventually be my gourmet pet. She doesn’t have an actual character yet, unfortunately. 

Current HSD: 1735 Currently training: Defence, supplementing with FQCs. Booktastic Books read: 138/161 JN Estimated Cost to Complete: 36,760,000 NP

Alaeri. I got Alaeri from Happy Zappers (idk if they even exist anymore, but they were like ZYDP) on April 4th 2013. I really love chocolate pets. Back when Neoschool was a thing here on the Neotag, Alaeri was a small part of it, but she doesn’t really have a character. Just that she’s a laid-back, outdoorsy lesbian. That’s literally it.

Efflie. I created Efflie 5 years ago and used an FFQ on her. I love aishas, I love chocolate pets. Her homepage is also home to the UC Trading Guide /~Efflie. She’s Alaeri’s girlfriend. But she’s more uptight and prissy. And that’s about it for her character.

Axella. I created a custom for a halloween guild challenge and fell so in love with it, I had to create her. I adopted Axella recently after seeing him UFA and shot off a quick NM app. He needs a gender change which I’m too lazy to send him to another account rn, but he’ll get it. Aside from that, no character at all.

Oracle Story Line

Oracle is being totally reworked right now. It was originally a storyline that I worked on with my friend Jezza who had a place called New Earth with her OCs. Oracle was founded by New Earth scientists on a planet far-yet sorta close by- and terraformed. Things went south in New Earth and all communication was cut off from Oracle. Oracle flourished for a quite some time and then had a crash in their stock market which prompted a civil war. When the dust cleared, Oracle was seized by the four remaining wealthiest families who promised to rebuild Oracle into her former glory. Unfortunately, they did not and they split Oracle into four quadrants to be headed by each family. Ravaged by the civil war and now basically a dictatorship with each quadrant ruled by a family, a rebellion begins to form by a group of the citizens, held up by two idealistic young adults. After nearly 30 years of fighting what seems to be a losing battle, these two adults are captured, tried for crimes against the land and executed. Their only child, a daughter who ran away in her teen years, is now called upon by the remaining rebels to become the new face of the resistance and give hope to the remaining members.

I’m reworking this with some friends to be set in a Neopian-centric land. I think what we’re going to do is make Oracle a province of Moltara, since it’s a steampunk post apocalyptic setting, and we’ll work in the Oracle lore with Neopia lore.

Drisit. I’ve had Drisit for longer than my 6 year old daughter has been alive. When I was pregnant with Lily, I got REALLY back into Neopets. I used to frequent the gifting boards back then (they were a lot different than they are now) and at the time, I really liked white xweetoks. So a user, who’s UN I still remember, gifted me Drisit. (I was able to later repay her by gifting her a female rb draik) Drisit is the pet that inspired me to create neo OCs and start doing art of my pets.

Drisit is the daughter of the fallen rebel leaders. As a child, she was trained in fighting by her father and in advanced military tactics by her mother. They groomed her essentially to take over the rebellion when she was old enough. Resisting their demands, Drisit ran away at sixteen years old. She survived on the streets, but just barely. For the poor, Oracle is a very hard place to live. But it gave her street smarts, sharpened her reaction time and many other things. After hearing of her parents death, Drisit returns to her childhood home to find it vacant. After a few days of staying there, mourning, the rebels made contact with her, asking her to return, to be the new face of the rebellion. Conflicted about it, Drisit does return and quickly finds herself as the head of the rebellion.

Symblor. I adopted Symblor from an UFQA board. She’s getting a complete customization overhaul. Depending on how the steampunk aisha looks, she may get that or she may just be painted silver. 

Symblor is Drisit’s right hand woman. She was sold by her parents to a group of bandits at a young age for drug money. After being put through many many horrors she was found by Drisit’s father near death. Drisit’s father was able to essentially keep her alive by turning her into a cyborg. The government that rules Oracle has outlawed cybernetic enhancements so it’s very hard for her to find replacement parts when her rudimentary parts given by Drisit’s father start to fail. She’s terrified of being caught, tried for treason and executed, so she’s mostly behind the scenes. Very intelligent and cunning, Symblor devises most of the rebel attacks/missions. She’s the one who contacted Drisit after her parents death and the two became quick friends. She’s a few years younger than Drisit.

V5S aka V. V was another UFQA acquisition. I love chocolate pets a lot. They’re fun to draw :3

V was an orphan found as a young child by an elderly couple who owned a bakery in Oracle. The bakery was passed down through the family and was once very prosperous many many years ago. Now, however, it is quite run down although V still provides treats when she can through illicit means (stealing stuff so she doesn’t always sell stale bread lawls) V is quite the risk taker and mostly uses her bakery as a front for the rebels to have meetings in her basement. She’s also the one in contact with Ave’s palace being the go between with Ave and Drisit (more on Ave later). She’s also skilled in medicine and often patches up the rebels after a skirmish. Her character needs much development however.

messr_m00ny aka Moony. I created Moony before the conversions. He was always destined to be a werelupe like his namesake, Remus Lupin. I took a hiatus before conversions and came back and unfortunately, had not painted him before then. Eventually I just sucked it up, despite preferring the UC version and made him into the werelupe he was always meant to be.

Moony is one half of a bandit duo. He’s the talkative, charming one. Growing up on the outskirts near the roughest part of Oracle, he had to steal and conive to survive. Although he has a way with the ladies, often seducing them for information, he is indeed very gay. Depending on how steampunk lupes look, he may get a repaint. Unsure.

Trelm was a stuck pet. I adopted him and painted him Stealthy myself. He’s the second half of the bandit duo and Moony partner, both in crime and romantically.

Trelm used to be a wisecracking, never serious, always jolly type. Despite having it hard growing up, he tried to hold onto a positive outlook. He and Moony found each other as young teens, orphans who grew up on the streets of Oracle. The two were always out for adventure, getting into scraps and fights, stealing, all sorts of illicit things to survive. And they were fairly good at it as well.

Until they met with the wrong group of raiders. After a fight that they nearly lost, Trelm had his throat cut and vocal chords severed. With some quick thinking, Moony got his partner to the bakery he had heard of where the  owner was able to save lives. After this, Moony decided for the two of them they were done with their banditry ways and were talked into joining the rebels by V. Trelm is now mute. He’s petpage also hosts the UC/BD trading guide, /~Trelm.

Iramkayim aka Iram. Iram is a funny story. A long long time ago, I came up with a character set in Oracle for an UC Grey Lupe that I was applying for. The owner eventually disappeared and I still stalked the Lupe for years. I saw him on a new account and apparently, the old owner had returned and traded at some point. Into a permanent home *sad face*

So a few months ago, I happened across a user adopting out their UCs. It was the lupes owner! He wasn't one of the ones that were UFA but I mailed the owner and told her I had applied for him and was wondering if she would be willing to trade. Instead, she offered to let me adopt! I was over the fucking moon. I had loved and watched this lupe afar for six or seven years.

Well. Long story short, he was from a compromised account, TNT reversed the adoption and the real owner got him back. Which is bittersweet. I’m glad she got her accounts/pets back, but he was once again in a permanent home.

So I started rethinking things. The character I made was very tragic, which is why I wanted an UC Grey Lupe. They are sad. But then, after thinking about it, while his character is tragic he’s ready to fight. Mostly because of revenge. So I decided on an UC Mutant Lupe cos they’re designs are fucking awesome.

So meet Lieutenant Iram Kayim. Iram grew up in the worst place of Oracle with poor excuses for parents. He fought throughout his life, always in some sort of trouble and as he got older, spending nights in jail. He was ruthless. Catching the eyes of some government officials, he was eventually drafted into their military. Quickly rising through the ranks, eventually, Iram becomes one of the inner circles most trust, often tasked with dangerous and immoral tasks.

Until he meets a young woman, the daughter of a man in the government. Iram falls in love with her, who softens his heart and makes him rethink his cruel ways. Eventually, they have a child, a daughter. Unbeknownst to Iram, his wife is secretly involved with the rebellion, a close confidante to Drisit and before her, her parents. She is able to give them information she learns through her father and Iram. One night she sneaks off to be a part of a raid, her daughter following closely behind her. She dies and Drisit finds Brenna, their daughter, crying over her mother's body. Trying to escape with Brenna in her arms, the two are shot and Brenna dies. Iram finds out the next day at work and immediately goes into a rage, and after inflicting some damage on one of his coworkers, quits his job.

He begins to drink his life away, living in the house, haunted by the ghosts of his wife and daughter until one day, Drisit shows up and offers him a proposal he can't refuse. Fueled by revenge, Iram becomes a soldier for the rebellion and eventually, he and Drisit fall in love.

CountessAvenge aka Countess Avenge aka The Countess aka Ave. Ave was my longest goal on Neo. It took me many years of trading to finally achieve her.

Ave is the daughter of one of the four families. She grew up not knowing the plight of the Oracle people. In fact, the only time she ever ventured beyond the castle gates was the day of her wedding. She was entered into a prearranged marriage to the leader of one of the four families. After the wedding took place in Ave’s castle, she journyed by carriage to her husbands palace and her heart broke at seeing her fellow citizens as she traveled across the land.

Once she reached her destination, Ave vowed to somehow, someway, change circumstances for her citizens. End their poverty stricken lives and give them and their children a future. Little did she know her new husband was a cruel man who delighted in his power. Growing depressed, Ave thought of ending her life since, as far as she could tell, she would not be able to help her people. Until she meets V, who is delivering some baked goods to the castle once a month. After talking in secret, V convinces Ave to supply the rebels with invaulable information.

Ave is the reason I am reworking Oracles storyline to be included in Neopia. Eventually, she meets Elle. Elle is the character my friend Coral has for an UC RG Kyrii she hopes to own one day. The two fall in love and carry out a secret relationship. Since the story is being reworked, I don’t have much info on the two yet, but they are hands down my OTP.

Twins of Shenkuu (and other characters)

These characters are based in Neopia and are RP’d with two of my friends and their characters. We’re working on getting a hub up at some point. There are actually two character groups involved in this, the Twins being the first.

Juni_Kava aka Juni. Juni was the crown princess of Shenkuu. Her father is Princess Lunara’s brother. We’re still working on the lore. She’s the only daughter with six brothers, one being her twin. Chase is the stand-in name for her twin, an UC Fae Wocky that my friend Gromit hopes to have one day.

Juni was born with a magical ability to influence air/mist. She was in line for the crown, along with her twin. Juni always followed her parents instructions, excelling at anything she tried. It was always thought she would become the next Queen. 

Until one day she is approached by the Moon Pheonix, a legendary creature that many stories were told of. However, everyone chalks the Moon Pheonix up to just that, a legend. Kyukuon (an UC Fae Pteri owned by my friend Coral) is the Moon Pheonix, charged with being a protector of sorts. It seems the Guardian of Shenkuu, another creature thought to be that of legend, is dying and Kyu has been tasked with finding the next Guardian. Unbeknownst to the twins, they have been observed in secret for quite some time by Jo, (UC Fae Xwee owned by Gromit) who is Kyu’s apprentice. When the time comes, Kyu makes contact with Juni and explains the situation to her, explaining that she is destined to be the next guardian. Fashioning a secret gateway between realms that will connect Juni to the castle and her family, Kyu convinces Juni to come with her to begin her training, leaving her brothers to vy between themselves for the throne.

AdaWong aka Ada. For generations, Ada’s family is one of the families tasked with protecting the Queen and King of Shenkuu, along with their descendants. Her mother and father are the current guards to the King and Queen and Ada was born at the same time as Juni. Growing up as best friends, Ada’s destiny was always been that she would become Juni’s protector. Eventually being sent off in her teenage years to begin her training, to a very very secret place, Ada and Juni are devastated to be separated. Secretly, they were in love but knew they could never be together due to Juni’s responsibility to the throne and the inevitable marriage and children she would eventually be expected to produce.

When Ada returns to the palace, she finds her friend gone and must make the decision, should she stay and become the protector of whichever brother inherits the throne, or follow her true love into an unknown adventure. Ada’s character has much to be worked on, but I think it’s a no-brainer what she chooses to do.

KittyRTM aka Katrina Rose aka Kitty. Kitty was born into a well-respected, but slightly lesser noble family. The family was known worldwide for providing some of the best produce from Faerieland, but they were most famous for their position in working alongside and assisting Queen Fyora. They were growing strong in Faerieland and were accumulating power through both their high ranking position with Fyora, and their thriving industry, but when Faire's father unexpectedly passed, things changed for the worse for Kitty and her family. Faire's mother had to sell their many farms to keep the pride of the family, the High Garden Estate, secure within the family.

There is quite a lot going on with Kitty’s family and it’s waaay to much to type up here. But if you’d like to know more, I’m currently in the process of changing my former project page for an UC Fae Aisha into her actual character page located on /~KittyRTM. I am very much in love with her character.

The Supernaturals

These pets also cross over into the Twins storyline and are RP’d with Coral and Gromit. They arent as prominent as the above characters and are also their own stand alone group. Many of them need character development.

Stariea aka Star. Star was an apprentice of Sophie the Swamp Witch when she was young and also worked for a time under Jhudora. She ties into the above characters through Sil and Jess (an UC Dari Eyrie and an UC Dari Lupe) that are owned by my friend Coral. 

Star is an exceptionally talented sorceress. She is feared by many, but instead of actually being malicious, she’s moreso out for herself than anyone else. After leaving Jhudora due to a disagreement, Star greatly dislikes the dark faerie and will do whatever she can to disrupt or irritate her. She still has a good working relationship with Sophie, however. Star is accompanied by Bonnie and Clyde, her bearclops. Bonnie was a meowclops and Clyde was a bearog. After an experiment gone wrong, they were fused together. They’re about the size of Jhudora’s pets, Daisy and Sarah. 

She is also accompanied by Bernard, a swamp ghoul she picked up on her travels. Bernard is not his real name, Star doesn’t know it. Although she treats him as a lowly assistant, he is quite terrifying in his own right, but he sticks with Star because she’s one of the few he’s crossed paths with that doesn’t run screaming from him on sight.

Falxo is a necromancer who was captured by Jhudora with the hopes that she would learn his magic. Disfigured due to her many experiments, since he wouldn’t just give up the information, Falxo and Star became close when she worked under Jhudora and Falxo was her prisoner. In fact, Falxo (alone with Sil and Jess, although Star doesn’t like Jess) was the reason Star rebelled against her teacher. Helping the three escape, Falxo opted to stay with Star. He’s somewhat silent and keeps to himself. The two are in a relationship and enjoy learning from one another. His character needs to be worked on as well.

Morovo aka Oro. Oro is akin to a crossroads demon. She’s able to make deals, promising fame and fortune to those that summon her. All she asks in return is something very simple, their soul. She meets Star when she’s summoned during an experiment Star and Falxo are attempting. Her character also needs heavy work.

Solariasae aka Solar. Solar is a young, clumsy witch who hounds Star to take her on as an apprentice. Her character will most likely be further developed based on what happens after The Wraith Resurgance. 

tocanini aka Toci. Toci is a druid who strives to protect all life. That’s literally all I have for her. Sorry Toci. We’ll work on you, I promise.

Spiritox aka Spirit. Yea Idk about him. He’s bad. But that’s all I got. Does magic. Or something. 

Liliaise aka Lili. She summons stuff. Idk anything else. Just that shes gonna be involved with all the above pets. 

Ryzzal and his partner Trikil (more on her next) are also tied into the Twins and Supernaturals through my friend coral’s pirate eyrie, Izi. Ryzzal ran away at a young age from his fathers home due to fear. He’s biologically male but is nonbinary. Fearing his father would find out, Ry left home. Eventually he ends up on Krawk Island, securing a job as a wench that serves the Food Club. He’s the prettiest girl in the room and has a slight fear of being found out to be male, but is generally accepted. Flirting around with the pirates, Ry loves his life. He still needs much development and I’ve never had a nonbinary character, so please don’t crucify me if I write him wrong. I’m always looking to learn more and happy to take critiques and suggestions!

Trikil aka Trikky aka Trik. Trik is an adventurous pirate who is always on the lookout for new treasure and adventure. She’s a regular on Krawk Island, especially since she met her partner Ryzzal, after frequenting the Food Club for fun and drinks. Although she isn’t always around, she has come to call Krawk Island home and looks foward to returning just as much as she looks forward to engaging on her next adventure. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. Her character also needs work.

The Space Explorers

These two are completely on their own, not touching any of my other pets. I do have a slight work around with @grobleen’s character, Cregan and some interaction with my friend Shanna’s space based pets. If you have spaced based pets, get at me! I’d love to expand this to include your pets as well!

Nirohean aka Niro. Niro is a fun loving bounty huntress. She can either be found bebopping around space looking for her next bounty, or stopping in on a nearby planet looking for the next party. She’s talented at her job, but loves having fun as well. She takes bounties that are interesting to her and isn’t ALWAYS on the side of the law, although she tries to be. She’s accompanied by her childhood best friend and pilot, Criliu and her Mechanized Laboratory Assistant Ridgewell that Criliu built for her. Ridgewell is a mixture between Portal 2s Wheatley and Fallout 4′s Cogsworth.

Criliu aka Cri. Cri is Niro’s best friend and pilots her ship. He’s a huge tech nerd and helps Niro with her bounties often by hacking into things and getting her information that other bounty hunters aren’t privy to. While Niro is an extrovert, Cri prefers to be alone with his ship and his gadgets. He’s secretly in love with Niro, but doesn’t know how to tell her.

Exhales Whew. That’s a lot of OCs. A lot of them need a lot of work. But I’m always open to friendships/relationships with other people’s OCs. Feel free to ask questions or whatever else with any of these babs!

[catamight]

Tag Game!

Tagged by @ rubynovare - First tagging experience, because I is hermit.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

LAST…

Drink: UM. ...Oolong ‘Mousse’ Bubble Tea?? Hard to describe; amazing to taste.

Phone call: My folks

Text message: My SO

Song you listened to: Mystery - Indigo Girls

Time you cried: Honestly, I started crying in an argument when I couldn’t find the words to explain my frustration. Trying to make someone understand that people should care about each other, but with facts? Hard times.

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: Nope! 

Kissed someone and regretted it: As of this moment, nope. 

Been cheated on: Nooooooope.

Lost someone special: Yes. No thestrals for me though, so for that I’m thankful.

Been depressed: I’ve ... Unsure. Nothing clinical. I’ve had bad periods, but I don’t count that as ‘real’ depression I guess. It’s hardly anything like many of my friends have experienced. I HAVE BEEN SAD?? It’s not depression though.

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Ayup. Though I don’t have hangovers. I just go straight from drunk to hugging a toilet while still drunk but also sick. 

Made new friends: YEAH?? WHICH IS ALWAYS COOL.

Fallen out of love: Nope.

Laughed until you cried: A few times actually. :D

Found out someone was talking about you: Yep! Never pleasant, but when I found out why they were snide about me, it’s almost always about something so dumb I can’t even get mad.

Met someone who changed you: Everyone I ever meet changes me. Not being deep; I’m pretty literal about that. o 3 o

Found out who your friends are: Usually - but never to 100%. Frankly I find that normal; people should always be able to surprise you (hopefully in a good way, but really it just means you shouldn’t underestimate anyone).

Kissed someone from your Facebook list: Just one. ;3

Kissed a stranger: Nah bro. Been tempted once.

Drank hard liquor: hahahahahAHHAHAHA yeah I have.

Lost glasses/contact lenses: Contact lenses. ONCE. Never. Again.

Turned someone down: Mmnnnnnnooo I suffer from perpetual obliviousness in regards to flirting/attraction from other people. I really apologize to people about that. is2g it’s not cold shoulder, it’s just disbelief.

Sex on the first date: Nuh brah.

Broken someone’s heart: ....unsure. Probably not? 

Had your heart broken: I feel like I’m more prepared to break hearts than have mine broken. If there’s any breaking going on, I’m usually aware of a problem before it gets to the hard part of talking it out.

Been arrested: Thank god no.

Cried when someone died: Yes. For brief, powerful sessions around no one else.

Fallen for a friend: nnnnn....nope. Not yet. 

Kissed on the first date: Third date. ...No. Fourth date. XD I’m not that adventurous and would rather get to know a person first.

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: um. gonna go with fav color combos --> mint green/pink; black/blood red; purple/light blue

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Pretty much all of them!

Do you have any pets: Nope! Allergic to cats and I can’t afford time/money/renovations to properly house the dog I really want. But I play with other people’s pets all the time. :3

Do you want to change your name: I frikken lOVE my name. It’s a Dune reference and shows off my deep nerd heritage. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

What time did you wake up: 7:30am exactly. I can no longer sleep late. Unless I was up to like 5am or something ridiculous.

What were you watching at midnight last night: Rick & Morty!

Name something you can’t wait for: ....PAX??? Probably??? I mean. I never like waiting for my favorite events; but I’ll wait forever to buy a favorite game. I’m so lost as to how to answer this one. XD

When was the last time you saw your mom: This last thursday!

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Banish my procrastination whenever I feel like it.

What are you listening to right now: The dulcet tones of the Game Grumps playing Sonic Boom. Boy that game is broken. 

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I know two people with a name that could have Tom as a nickname, but neither go by that. So no?

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: Nothing.

Most visited website: Archive of Our Own, Tumblr, 

Mole/s: Total of three.

Mark/s: Chicken pox scar on my tummi; birthmark on my upper right arm; faintest of dark tint to my left forearm from when I tipped boiling water onto myself as a babby (mom spent hours scrubbing dead skin off of burned skin and she said I didn’t scream once, for which I’m impressed NOW because I’m pretty sure these days I’d be a huge painful mess)

Childhood dream: President

Do you have a crush on someone: ....does my SO count???

What do you like about yourself: I appreciate my empathy.

Piercings: One ear!

Blood type: O+

Nickname: Pi (by a bunch of kids I was teaching over the course of several summers); otherwise my name’s short enough there’s no need for a nickname.

Relationship status: *gestures to various mentions to an SO throughout this quiz* = w =;/

Zodiac: Western Zodiac—Pisces, Chinese Zodiac—Earth Dragon

Pronouns: She/her/herself

Favorite TV show: Brooklyn 99/Hannibal (I’m so over the map)/Yuri!!! on Ice/BNHA

Tattoos: Skin is clear. I want a white tattoo someday tho.

Right or left hand: Right handed

Surgery: Oral surgery for my wisdom teeth, and for getting ear tubs put in when I was a little (constant ear infections suuuuuck)

Hair dyed in different color: It’s dyed THREE different colors guys. I’m a damn aurora and I love it :DDD

Sport: Kayaking or Rowing/Skiing/Tennis/Boating(???)/Hiking/Swimming!

Vacation: Last one I took was to Canada! 

Pair of trainers: ...British trainers, or ... or people trainers..??

Current and all-time best friend name: YES. ALSO NO NAME FOR U INTERNET.

Eye color: Black/Brown (really frikken dark)

Favorite movie: ....uh. oh god. UM. OH NO. DDD: I CAN’T CHOOSE. I will say that you all should watch The Fall, Jacob’s Ladder, The Mummy, Deadpool, Lake Mungo, Silence of the Lambs, Sauna, Emperor’s New Groove, Last Action Hero, and any Miyazaki film every made. Seeing as this is Tumblr, I’m probably just preaching to the choir.

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice but hugs are BETTER

Lips or eyes: Eyes. <333

Shorter or taller: I like both for different reasons

Nice arms or stomach: ....n/a?? Mostly because my eyes are more focused on faces and hair and overall stature.

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hook up or relationship: Relationship; I like to build that shit. 

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant (though I have been tempted)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: More than I used to, less than I hope. 

Miracles: Kinda. I like karma a lot. It eases a lot of pain to know that shit always comes back to bite bad behavior in the end (even if it takes a while)

Love at first sight: Nooooooooooope.

Santa Claus: Lawl, when I was a kid I knew my parents got me stuff, not Santa, but I always liked the idea of a guy who took the time to give kids gifts all over the world. I’m an optimist like that.

Tagging: ...@solosvejs @mattheal @kimthreerings (because I don’t know enough people on here very well so it’s just kind of a crapshoot you guys don’t have to okay? okay thanks bye *falls into a ditch*)

[helmes-deep]

Quickie LONG UPDATE!! (on my life lol)

I FINALLY GOT THE RESULTS BACK FROM A $300 teachers’ test and I PASSED WOOOOOOOOOOT HAHAHA I’M SO HAPPY $300 NOT WASTED LOL *CRIES*

Well, at least for my state. Who knows if I’ll ever have to take that horrendous thing again should I ever choose to move to another state or get back into the teaching profession after having left for a bit... Granted, I didn’t get the score I think I was truly capable of (I totally last-minuted this whole thing and stayed up for 72+ hours finishing it lol PLEASE PLEASE DON’T EVER BE LIKE ME AND PUT YOURSELF IN A POSITION WHERE YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT TO FINISH A FINAL THAT IS MY LIFE ADVICE), but I did pass it based on the score required by my state, so I honestly couldn’t be any happier. All that’s standing between me and getting a real job now is waiting for my university to finally award me my degree in a few weeks so that I can apply for a teacher’s certificate and finally get to do what I can’t wait to start doing again – teaching!! 🌠 💖 😄

In other news, I actually survived! and completed!! my student teaching; it all actually officially ended in the middle of last month. After my student teaching ended, I focused on finishing up final tests/projects (including that $300 test) before graduating with a bachelor’s degree in English Education from my uni about 2 weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been applying for jobs and hoping for an offer soon, hopefully at a high school!! Thinking back over my college experience, I wouldn’t say it’s been a really “crazy” four years (except for this year LOL. Man, these past two semesters were WILD and took SO MUCH out of me. I still get super-exhausted thinking about how I got through my student teaching N E V E R  A G A I N HAHA :V). I’ve never been the group’s social butterfly, even though I highly crave social interaction and approval/feedback (not in a desperate sense, but I know I’m the type of person that needs social interaction in order to thrive, even if I might not be the one to initiate it). I have, however, learned a little about a lot of things, especially during this past year and semester LOL AGAIN: N E V E R  A G A I N HAHA :VVV and especially, I think, in regard to myself. As a teacher, I’ve learned that I suck at classroom management. I’m just way too laissez faire, which comes off as “too nice” and therefore just allows any group of your regular hormonal and rebellious-leaning teenagers to go bonkers and take over my class lawl. Hopefully that changes *very* soon once I get my own classroom (and I’m working on it!!), but looking back, I suppose I could have been a bit more firm about keeping my presence (it also doesn’t help that I’m like 5′3″ lol!!). As a general person, I have also learned that I SUCK at making and keeping social discourse lol. Like, not just suck at it, but suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk haha. First, not having a phone really makes it hard to make or keep in touch with any friends that a person intends to make. With a lack of a personal device or one of your basic social media accounts, I realized how hard it was to maintain a social network within a very digitally-connected world. Second, I realized that I’m probably a lot more cautious, super-conscious, introverted, and a bit inexperienced than I perhaps originally thought I was. Like, if I was in high school, I recognized that I would probably have been the super-quiet kid who would have had a lot of trouble making friends in class. I then realized that a lot of these previously mentioned personality quirks were probably a part of what was keeping me from fostering more intimate relationships or developing a more leader-driven personality, which sometimes heavily affected my classroom management. I’m not saying I necessarily need to change as a person, but I do believe I need to find ways in which I can become more involved and confident. Ironically, I thought it was interesting to note that a lot of my personality was – though not intentionally – perhaps keeping me from finding that deeper social interaction that I previously mentioned craving.

All that being said, I am fairly proud of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve accomplished this year as a student teacher, especially considering this was my first time taking over a class (3, actually!!) after having never really been inside a high school since I was homeschooled from 7th to 12th grade. I am, however, really proud of how I tried as much as I could to put the students with whom I was working with first, including incorporating their interests and academic needs/desires. I know my experience as a student teacher was not perfect, but I am very glad I got to work through all the challenges that came with and almost die doing it. I’ve also definitely found a bit of who I want to be as a future teacher. I know I want to be someone who is able to successfully make the classroom a place where my students can experience relevant life issues through writing or reading, and if nothing else, that had made this entire experience totally worth it.

... Which brings me to the future of this blog haha. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be as active on Tumblr as I was before :c For one thing, I realized over the course of this year that Tumblr was definitely taking up way too much of my life lol (literally took me hours to get through 24+ hours’ worth of posts, and I was only following like 300 blogs). Being a bit OCD, I don’t like breaking my Tumblr cycle and only shuffling through a random number posts, despite the fact that I can’t be up 24/7 lol; I just don’t like not getting the full picture on everything and acting on/reblogging things without all of the complete info. As a result, I would rather not break my 24/7+ Tumblr cycle than to start it again at all :c Secondly, I’m kind of sad to say that, as of recently, I haven’t been keeping up with K-pop as much as I used to. It’s not that I’ve necessarily lost interest in it (K-pop is still like 85% of what I listen to lol), but I certainly haven’t been keeping up with it as closely as I used to. For instance, I have no idea what’s going on with B1A4 right now, haven’t watched BTS’s new self-made MV for “Spine Breaker,” and haven’t gotten around to watching the last teaser for SEVENTEEN’s upcoming ALONE?? comeback (featuring our wonderful leader S.Coups :p). It’s not that I’ve completely dropped everything K-pop or have become totally disinterested; I still very much keep up with the latest comebacks and listen to whatever piques my interest. It’s just that I don’t know if I want to get so re-invested with all of the details surrounding K-pop again (tbh Tumblr gave me so much info on my favorite K-pop groups; I seriously regret missing all of the amazing shots of my biases’ beautiful faces that I’ve probably missed leol), or maybe I just need a good break from it all before starting again. Most likely, I’d say my small distance from my favorite pastime has mostly happened because I now have more things to do or think about atm haha, and just don’t really have any time right now to enjoy all of the K-dynamics that are happening behind the music. I don’t think I’ll ever give up listening to K-pop anytime soon though; like I’ve said before, I’m still very much keeping up with and enjoying whatever’s coming out right now.

Sooooo at this point, I’m not sure if I want to say I’m on a complete permanent indefinite hiatus yet. I still check Tumblr and my blog everyday – every now and then my dash – so it’s not like I feel like I’ve completely left Tumblr and the K-pop community on here as a whole... just yet :3 I have, however, thought about starting a side-blog that focuses solely on teaching, including my student teaching experience. I’ve also thought about writing some K-pop articles for this blog again... (I still really want to write that “Best K-pop Songs of 2016,” a review of B1A4′s third full LP, and/or similar pieces). Whether either of those musings will come into fruition over this passing summer, I don’t know yet, but I’ll keep you updated on either if I ever do, especially my educationally-focused blog. Aside from those thoughts, I’ve been planning on doing some extensive reading over the summer – with a goal to read a book a week! If any of you are interested and would like to check out what I’m currently reading and/or think about it, you can take a look at my Goodreads account here. Other than that, I’ve just been up to the usual: still practicing driving (hopefully I’ll get my license this summer!!), looking for a job, and chilling by watching some TV/movies :p (literally, when you become a teacher, EVERYTHING YOU WATCH BECOMES A POSSIBLE TEACHING TOOL WHERE YOU WONDER IF/HOW YOU COULD USE IT IN A CLASS HAHA. I’VE BEEN SPENDING MY BREAK WATCHING THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES AND I NOW PAY MORE ATTENTION TO HOW THE TEACHERS REACT TO ALL OF THE KIDS’ SHENANIGANS VS. HOW I WOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS AS A KID LOL. I’d really love to be a Professor McGonagall or Snape someday :p). So as far as the current activity of this blog goes, I think I’m going to keep it at “temporary-hiatus-because-I’m-currently-in-a-heavy-transition-period-and-still-am-very-unsure-of-how-this-will-all-pan-out??” That sounds like it’ll do for now. I definitely don’t think I want to distance myself from Tumblr just yet, but at the same time, I don’t believe I’ll be able to be as involved with everything on it as I once was :ccc

Lastly, I’d like to thank everyone who’s stayed with me and this blog so far. With this current announcement, feel free to unfollow this blog if it is no longer what you require in your daily re-bloggin’ life; I completely understand and only wish you the very best~ 🌸 :3 I don’t have a lot of followers as a whole, but I do have a handful of very lovely and precious people that I’ve met on this site; you know who you are~  💖🌠🦄✨👌 Sorry for not keeping in more constant touch; I hope all of you and your beyond-wonderful blogs are doing well~ 💎🌟😊 For those of you who have just joined my blog – WELCOME, and I hope you enjoy your stay~  ❤️ On another note, I should probably get to all those things I was tagged in... if it’s not too late haha. I love y’all and hope nothing but the BEST awaits your future!!~

Snap that was really A LOT more than just a “quickie” update haha. I know that I probably should have updated on everything that’s been happening in my life much sooner, but honestly, I didn’t feel like anything merited me getting too excited about getting through this school year unless I had 100% confirmation that I had passed the $300 test lol (it’s called the edTPA btw, for anyone who might be curious :p). Without passing that test, I probably would have had to spend at least another $100 to re-take some parts of the test, which would have delayed my being able to apply for an eligible teacher’s certificate in my state, which would have dangerously hindered me from being able to teach at all. So thanks for your patience – both for reading this post and sticking around this blog long enough to see me write it :p Hopefully I’ll get a teaching position and figure this all out soon; until then, I’ll definitely keep y’all posted~!! ✨

[narahalara]

This is random but ever since I have announced my plans to not marry my parents start to “joke” with me having someone. Like, my dad kept mentioning justin yesterday even at the dinner table again i was like WTh my mom even started asking about alec more often which is really awkward my heart always either jumps or just sink but i still say good things about him to my parents. i promise mom and dad I will tell you one day about both of them, i feel like itll be easier anyways cause you seemed to like both of them. But not now. And I really do not plan to have someone anymore. Nobody will wait for me it will never be “all worth the wait”. Nobody is going to never push me away or “just tell me to stay”. lowkey watching otwol made me realize wow... I used to believe in all these things before. I cannot really pinpoint one main reason why I don’t have faith in those things anymore. But the main reasons is seeing the world just crumble honestly not just the world in general but the world around me seeing my friends relationships seeing other people other parents other friends other strangers be unfaithful or not do their best to actually properly “love”. I am not gonna call it “old fashion anymore” cause its not. Its sad the we praise a dude for being able to treat one girl right like isn’t that how it is suppose to be anyways? people let each other down people cheat people lie people are unfaithful. And it’s sad because I just watched people experienced that, that it affected the way I treated to really great people. Neither of them were bad but I put walls up that are really hard to tear down. And I don’t blame either of them for leaving or being unable to break them. That’s just how to world is. As much as I “loved” both of them in at the time I did, i know they were also well...just like everyone else... and maybe I am too. I know I also had faults. I know I became selfish I wanted him to myself. and that wasn’t love. When I realized that I thought wow...all my morals of love I had w justin I tried so hard to do the exact opposite w alec cause I was afraid of losing him the way I lost justin. But that wasn’t love. love is suppose to be selfless and kind. It should be unconditional. And I forgot all about that. Or rather i stopped believing in those ideas... and thats what made me at fault. I did not want to ever write here “i love you so much that I set you free” because I did that with justin and he never returned to me... but that was love atleast... so maybe I didn’t love him maybe I did. Am I selfish am I human. Is my desires to not write those world “ i love you so much i will let you go” out of selfishness or out of fear of repeating the mistake or what?? I don’t know honestly. But for now I choose to make my love selfless again. I will choose to love him the way I loved justin. Not the type of love the world define love as it is. but the unconditional selfless kind. Maybe those words that state I love you enough to let you go havent been declared in my heart yet cause I still feel some level of hurt or what. But one day it will, i know it will come sooner that I think. Cause I don’t want my love to be selfish anymore, I know I loved him in such a way that I wanted him to be happy and grow, not the love that makes me selfish to keep him all to myself... this vent makes no sense tbH LOL but it does to me. I kinda understand the feelings I am trying to make out now (ps all those realizations root from watching otwol LOL and I have more thoughts on it but its way too much lawls) ok i end this here

[cispicious]

JUNE 2, 2011

Hey there. I doubt (people will read this) that journals are supposed to be used for advertising, or propoganda about oneself. I'm guessing it's what normal journals are used for: to document the day to day trials of human life. Yea, but I'm not human. So I guess my definition of a journal shall be, "Trials of a Nephal" If you don't know what a Nephal is, ask God. Oh, and in case you're far too lazy - or just don't care about my looks - to go check my pictures, I can give you a short description right here: * I'm the same height as Taylor Momsen, my favorite celebrity. <3 * [redacted because holy shit this was bad] * I'm Jamacain and Scottish, and my hair is a sort of red-brown-blonde color. * [redacted because holy shit this was bad] So, are you looking for a biography of my life? I'm not sure I want to type that much. I guess I'll summarize it and make it even less of a biography by telling you things about myself:

I was born on January 2nd, 1996 in New York. I moved down to Florida with my family when I was 12, and have been here fro three years. (Can you calculate my age?) I'm bisexual, but I lean more towards girls. I may [redacted because holy shit this was bad]. My life revolves around music and sarcasm. My English 2 Honors teacher wrote in my yearbook to never forget the essence of my spark. Lol, no. My teacher's not Taylor Swift. She actually told me to never lose my sarcasm, and who am I to defy a teacher? .... I like to think that I'm humorous enough to start a YouTube webshow, but even though I have an HD Camcorder, I can never find the willpower to do such things. Maybe because I'm really sensitive and insecure, and I doubt I can take the hate comments....right. Anyway. People think I'm a player because of the rather extensive list of people I've been with. Honestly, I used to be a player. I've only been turned down once in my life, and only God knows why. Because it can't be my dashing good looks or humble personality, right? Oh my, looks like I've hit the irony button again. I'm actually in love right now, and I can't tell you who, just in case you jealous bitches go on a rampage.

Anyway, shall I post about my day? I'm in 7th period - Speech and Debate - right now. My friend Barbara and I are the only girls on this side of the room. It's not like we ever do anything in here. We're too effing smart, so we just keep quiet while the bumbling idiots around us try to keep up with the teacher, and stumble over words like oppression. I just showed her that. She laughed. x) Oh, um, the rest of the class is either playing games or watching The Great Debaters. I saw it in 8th grade. I don't need to see it again. The boy, Junior, isn't exactly eye candy. Finals begin tomorrow. Me and my science project parter don't have to take a Biology final, because we won the science project competition. (We - I - made an action movie about the project, pretending to be spies who had to solve the Problem, or else the White House would blow up.) Let's call her Erica. I'm scared to be alone with her, if we have to go to a different room, because she has a crush on me. And she doesn't even know I'm bisexual. She makes people move so she can sit next to me, touches me innapropriately, and told me that she knows that we're supposed to be soulmates. Save me. So here's my question of the day - supposing I write everyday and that any of you care - : What do you do when you want to make someone stop loving you, but you don't want to stop being their friend or hurt their feelings?

JUNE 3RD 2011

I'm only making this 'cause someone's making me. Let's have a recap of my day, shall we? 6:33 - woke up over an hour late. I didn't shower and merely tussled my hair, and I ate breakfast in the car. Got to school on time, despite what my dad thought. Realized I didn't have my Biology textbook which was due today. Panicked for a second, then decided not to give a shutzpah. In Latin 2, I spent like, ten minutes on my final. I had my AE do it for me, then I went to sleep in the chair on the other side of the room. It smelled funkeh. In Biology, I didn't have to take a final so I went to the Media Center with Jackie, and not Erica. Fank chu, Lawd for making her not come. So I sat down in the back, and Jackie - constant bully that she is - made me sit on the floor so that she could read comfortably on the place where I was lounging. It was cold in there. Um, nothing exciting really happened. My sister is annoying the hellzpah out me and I'm gonna kill her. Question of the day: Why isn't it possible to go back in time yet?

JUNE 6TH 2011

Hello, ladies and gents. So, today is the second day of finals and the beginning of the end. That's right. IT'S THE LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL!!!11!!111!! I took my English 2 Honors and Algebra 2 exams earlier today (actually I just finished my Algebra) and I have to say I was dissapointed by the lack of imagination by my teachers. I mean, these tests were a bit too easy- not that anything's wrong with that. But you ever get that feeling that once you believe something to be incredibly easy, turns out you got every damn thing wrong? Yeah. That's how I feel. Anywho, this guy I think is adorkable (and he's a skater, swoon!) opened the door for me and made a cute joke. Now before you say "oh dear Lord is this just another hopeless romantic?" let me tell you that he only does it for me. When anyone else is at the door, he just stares at it like it's the door to Armagaddeon or something. I have a question: Do any of you believe in alter ego's? Do you believe it's possible to seperate your body from yours? (Google!) I have one. My friend named her Cali, don't ask. But if any of you have had encounters with your AE's, PM me. We need to discuss something. But that wasn't my question of the day. The real question is: Is it possible for your Alter Ego to become their own person?

JUNE 7TH 2011

But I set fire to the rain Watched it pour as I touched your face Well, it burned while I cried 'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name When laying with you I could stay there Close my eyes, feel you here forever You and me together, nothing is better 'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true And the games you's play, you would always win, always win I'm in love with this song. I cried hearing this girl sing it. I think I'm in love with her now. WHY CAN'T i HAVE A VOICE LIKE HERS, GOD??????? I'm gonna cry. This song makes me cry. Her voice. So damn angelic. Anyway, about my day: IT SUCKED. The only fun part was during homeroom when we were playing Scrabble, [redacted because holy shit this was bad]. Oh, and I talked to my friend Ella for the first time in months. I swear, I'm just going to keep promoting this girl. I wonder if I can get her number....sigh. If only she had red hair. LAWL. I'm just joking guys. My heart belongs to Caraquel. Yanno, when she wants it. Anywhom Question of the Day: What makes you laugh?

JUNE 8TH 2011

Tomorrow's the last day of school. I finished my Speech and Debate class early, so I'm coming here. I'm about to pour out my feelings here. I'm about to get deep. Like, 6 feet underground deep, brah. So, I think I'm in love. With the fucking world. I have this problem where I love too much. I suppose there's a gap in my heart from not getting enough love when I was a kid, or maybe my brain is just fucked up. I've fallen two feet, I've been dropped, I've had a glass cup of coffee fall on my head all before I finished kindergarten. Maybe that's why my brain is fucked up. There's a lump in my head, and I'm not sure if that's normal. I think it messed up my mouth-brain connection, where I don't say what I think. Like, if I think "Mr. John's class is nice." I'll end up saying. "Mr. John has a nice ass." or something, when the guy is like 1,000 years old and looks like Santa Claus. And the sad thing is- I can never remember saying it. Sometimes I think it's Cali saying these things, and other times I think I'm just special. I love my girlfriend, my ex, and my two best friends. (But I love Cara the most.) I get jealous beyond belief when they so much as mention another person. The thing is, I should only love my girlfriend. 'Cause she's the only one that (I think) even wants to marry me. And that's the only reason I'd ever be interested in a person- because I think they're worth it for the long haul. I really should get over all the others, because they're taken and they don't want me for the long run. They want me for the here and now, I guess. Or maybe they want me for the here and now so they can see what they'd be getting in the long run. I'm so confused and I'm hurting, but I just can't stop loving. My girlfriend's favorites on Twitter are chock full of gay boys telling her they love her. And I get jelly because I'm the first - and only - girl she's ever liked ('cause I'm just that rockin') but she could probably change their sexualities. My best friend, Cara, I just...I just love her. I'm crying right now IN EFFING PUBLIC because of how much it would kill me to not have her in my life, to not have her love. And if you are reading this Caraquel, I love you. I love you. I know Cali said she was helping me get over you, but I don't think it's possible. Every time I think about you...it's not possible to live without you. But yeah. I need to get my cranium checked. This just ain't realistic. I mean, whenever my friends come to me about their relationship problems, I think "Oi, if only it were possible for me to love you all." but mostly because I hate it when they cry over some chick who doesn't give two flying shits about anyone but herself. So, my questions of the day are: Is it possible to have fucked up the love gland in your brain? Is it possible to love more than one person? Is it possible to die from heartbreak?