#and typically it shows on my face so people can feel my bad vibes and it brings them down too

[kopivie]

i started an "elf on the shelf" game with my coworkers because i'm tired of being told "you have to ask corporate" whenever i want to do something fun with my friends.. so now i'm just gonna be silly.

[em-ontv]

Back into the life.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x fem!hunter!reader

Summary: Escaping the hunter life and going to Stanford seemed pretty good until you showed back up into his life again, reeling him back in.

Content: mentions of y/n, Sam’s in Stanford, he used to have a crush on reader, reader is friends with the Winchesters, reader is kind of cocky, mentions of Jess, English is not my first language, pretty fast-paced, not proofread

A/N: few disclaimers here, I haven’t watched supernatural (yet) so Sam may be a bit ooc, I tried my best. There's no specific indication that Sam and the reader have any romantic relationships, you can interpret it however you want, but I definitely did not write this in means of breaking Sam up with Jess. Enjoy :)

Word count: 930

You were in some dive bar, waiting for your next hunt, when your phone buzzed. Dean's name flashed on the screen, and the second you answered, his voice came through, not even a "hello" first before he got straight to the point.

"I need your help."

Typical.

"Hello to you too, sunshine," you responded, leaning back in your chair, feet kicked up onto the table. "It's been—what? Three years? And this is the first thing I hear from you?"

"Cut the crap, y/n. It's Sam, I need him back." Dean said.

Your eyebrows shot up. "Why don't you go ask him yourself?"

"I did. Kid's stubborn. Won't leave that Stanford life of his, but I need him." his exhale came through the phone like he was one breath away from losing it.

There was a pause on your end. Because the thing is, you understood. You did. There was a time where you wanted to leave too—and have something different, a normal life. But hunting? The supernatural world? It never lets you go.

"You're the only one who can get him to listen." Dean's voice snapped you out of the thought.

"Uh-huh, and what makes you think that?" you let out a sound that was close to a scoff and a chuckle.

A beat of silence, and you could nearly hear the smirk on Dean's face through the phone. "Because, sweetheart, Sam's got it bad for you. Always did."

Oh, you knew alright. Sam had always been obvious. Big, doe-eyed stares when all of you were younger, awkward stammering when you caught him looking, and that whole puppy-dog vibe he never could shake. You’d flirt with him just to see him turn red. It was too easy. The boy had it bad, but then he went and ran off to college, leaving everything else behind.

"Please, that was kid's stuff. He's over it." you shrugged it off.

"He's not over it," Dean fired back. "Never was. So, I need you to... you know, use that to get him back."

You almost laughed out loud. "You want me to seduce Sam back into hunting? Seriously?"

"For crying out loud, y/n. And it's not seducing, it's gentle coaxing." Dean rolled his eyes, his tone sarcastic. "But whatever works, I guess."

Well, whatever works. You'd find out soon enough.

—————

The second you parked your car and stepped onto the campus, you could feel yourself being out of place. Students were laughing, lounging under trees, talking about midterms and parties.

Stanford was nice. Too nice.

You waited for the six-foot-four tree of a man that used to trip over his own feet whenever you smiled at him. And soon enough, Sam emerged from the lecture hall, backpack slung over his shoulder, hair a little longer, looking every bit the normal, happy college student. He hadn’t seen you yet. Oh, this was gonna be fun.

Before you could even call his name, Sam looked up. His entire body froze mid-step. The look on his face was priceless—equal parts shock and panic, with just a dash of "oh no, she’s here." He blinked, then blinked again, clearly trying to process that you, of all people, were standing in front of him.

"y/n? What—what are you doing here?" He stammered, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

You crossed your arms, that familiar cocky smile playing on your lips. “Oh, you know. Came to say hi, check in on you."

He fumbled with his backpack strap, eyes darting around like he was hoping this was some weird dream and he’d wake up soon. “Well, I've been doing well. Studying law."

"Law, huh?" your eyes glanced over to the backpack he was holding. "Sounds pretty boring for a guy who used to get his hands dirty killing vamps."

Sam's face fell, and you almost felt bad. Almost.

"Look," you said, getting to the point. "Dean needs you back."

His jaw clenched. "I told him no."

"Well, I'm telling you yes."

There was a pause as Sam looked at you, like he was trying to figure out if you were serious. "You're just like Dean, you know that?"

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

You just smiled and shrugged, unfazed.

Sam sighed heavily. “y/n, I’ve got a life here. I’ve got—”

“A girlfriend, I know,” you cut in. “Dean mentioned her. Jessica, right?”

His eyes flickered.

“And she’s nice, I’m sure. Sweet. Normal. Everything you want.” you exhaled softly. “But let’s be real, Sam. You can’t outrun this life. It’s in your blood. You’re a hunter, always will be.”

Sam swallowed hard. He stared at you like he was still trying to wrap his head around why you'd come all this way to pull him back into a world he thought he left behind.

“I left for a reason,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.

"And I'm sure it's a good reason, Sam." your eyes softened at his words. "But sometimes, life drags you back."

"Dean needs you," you started.

"And I need you too."

Oh. That card.

Sam’s eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he looked like a nervous teenager again, the way he always used to when you were around him.

Finally, he sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Fine. I’ll come. But I’m doing it for Dean.”

“Uh-huh,” you raised your eyebrows, already spinning around to head to your car. “I know.”

As you walked away, Sam trailing behind you, you couldn’t help but grin. Dean had been right. And Sam?

Well… Sam never stood a chance against you.

[delululand]

enhypen ideal type (hyung line)

don't take it too seriously, these are just my observations based on analysis of their words, interviews and behavior in general

p.s. i lived in Korea for a few months and it gave me some impressions too

heeseung

i know it’s not popular opinion, but i think he is not what many people imagine him to be

being so flirty and sexy on stage is one thing, but acting like that in real life is something else entirely. if you look at different shows and interviews, he is a much calmer and more shy guy. of course he can flirt and all that, but not as much as people here and on tik tok imagine him (in most of the works here he is presented as a literally 24/7 flirting lecherous guy)

I think he would like a coquettish , extroverted girl who at first glance seemed shy. he himself is often embarrassed by compliments, but in many videos you can see HOW he looks when girls are embarrassed by his compliments…

in one interview he said that he is not very emotionally strong and needs attention and care, I think he needs someone who is naturally very caring and affectionate, who can understand these needs without asking out loud and show him how loved he is, without allowing him to feel feeling lonely

jay

idk it’s just so obvious hahaha

if speak about appearance i really think he like smt like typical feminine energy? like nice clothes (not necessarily dresses or skirts, but something that still looks feminine), good perfume and more soft (?) face it’s little difficult to explain, but of idols, I’d say jennie. not really herself, but energy like hers.

he looks pretty dominant (not in sexual meaning, but about it maybe next time…🤭) and i think he will good with a woman who will allow him to do everything for her, even basic things. (I immediately remember the moment with the big keyboard and sunghoon on one of the shows, when jay constantly wanted to press the buttons with him, but sunghoon shouted that he would do it himself and jay retreated, but his hands still constantly reached out to do it for sunghoon) + how he cares about jongwong

the boy says he's not a romantic but we all know HOW much romantic he is

i think he is little more traditional in that. not in bad way, just like be man and wanna protect his woman from everything bad that can happen

someone with whom he can talk openly about anything, a person who is a good listener

also we see that he is good with cooking and household chores, so I think he liked a girl who can also do it well. like this is not something obligatory and he’s no way gonna make you do it, but the very idea that you are a good at such things would impress him cause he look like literally husband and you both can do cooking date and all this stuff

go to luxury restaurants, travel staying in 5 stars hotel, go to shopping date and putting your wardrobe together, be “it couple” and after next years become like wife and husband, have a kids, go to family travel, even maybe with his family and once get old together

idk he really gives vibes like this��

jake

hmmhm I don’t even know how to say this more correctly, but it seems to me that I’m still a little immature for something relatively serious?

i think his personality will change a little as he gets older, he is a very reasonable guy, just not in the matter of relationships as it seems to me

he looks like a natural flirt and because of this it is harder to understand his real preferences but he definitely likes girls with dark hair like latino girls

now he gives the vibes of that guy college crash au hahaha. I think he would have liked a more fun, but smart girl with whom they could discuss everything, he would happily explain all sorts of mathematical things to you and would be happy to listen to your story about anything

he's also very caring and tactile and he would really be perfect for the role of that college guy. like your first serious relationship, full of tenderness and love

someone with an adventurous soul who would be willing to try new things and almost everything with him and go along with them

sunghoon

okay, maybe somebody will disagree but i’m pretty sure he is korean korean

i mean more traditional korean, idk how explain it right but if you have been in korea and communicate with men here you understand hahaha

it’s just a type of guy who really traditionally in most cases and relationships too

actually in many situations he generally doesn’t interact very actively with girls in public but it seems to me that typical Korean beauty is closer to him?

I think he would like a cute girl with a slightly mysterious aura, little shy maybe, who he can endlessly tease but who could start a conversation with him first because he doesn't seem to initiate communication and maybe it's not very easy to get close to him.

but when he is in a relationship he is a very loyal and reliable partner, ready to do anything for his girlfriend. he doesn't show it, but I think he's on the more romantic side, the type who gives flowers and chocolate while saying something like “oh, this? I don’t know, I just saw it on the way home and take it.”

[bethanysnow]

How I think Stray Kids would date a Plus Size Girlfriend!~ Makenae line!

Hyung Line

-Han

This man is going to deny his feelings so hard???? Like my god- he is gonna flirt with you, hold your hand, be an absolute adorable pain in your ass. Let you in, and if asked about it? Nahh, we are just friends. And its gonna crush you. But he knows as soon as it left his face he shouldn't have said it. He is just protecting his heart and he is scared.

He is so internal about his deep feelings that most people wouldn't be able to tell if he was upset, but if you see that his eyes are gonna light up like fireworks. We see how aware he is around Leeknow, how in the SKZ show he did with Minho he was able to tell like 'wait 10 seconds and if he sighs or huffs he didn't really wanna do it' THIS MAN IS SO DETAILED?! Like we know he is an angst boy, and loves writing heartbreaking songs, I don't think that he would change that about himself, but he would write about your troubles. How he is so desperate to see yourself the way he sees you. Which I think if he was to date a plus-size girlfriend it would unironically be a like Noona thing? We all joke and tease that this man is subby and needs a minho or a dominate woman, but I think he just likes to not have to be 'the pants' as it were. I don't get a super typical masc vibe so having someone who is on the other side of the spectrum is helpful. He isn't a dominant person, he doesn't like the attention a lot of the time. He reminds me of like very calm and collected kinda he will be your peace. He will remind you to drink water, and hold you when you're sad, but also wants to be held.

He will fall in love with you internally and grow to love your body. Which is a pain, but its true I think. First thing out of his boys mouth is how cute you are, and prepare to have your cheeks squished. Lots of demanding kisses, lots of hand holding. If you can carry him? OOO YOU'VE GOT HIM IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND! He loves to be baby, but don't let that fool you that he is any less man than changbin or Channie or anyone else

-Felix

I think out of everyone (this may be controversial) this man is the one that is going to have the most internal problems with the idea. Where for hyunjin its a lot around his perception, but for felix its all internal. I say this because like Chan, he lived in Australia, and moved to Korea. He is going to have a lot of complexes regarding his looks. He went and starved himself for 5 ish days because he felt he needed to for a fashion show. (which isn't true) He did martial arts and as someone who dated a person who also did martial arts with a similar amount of awards, there is so much conversation around what your body can do? In that culture? Pushing past those limits, finding your inner strength. This is great in theory, but not so in practice if done poorly because it forces you to think far more critically and not constructively about yourself. He has on record talked about how not great he thinks he looks and it breaks my heart and I very much think that it would affect a relationship. Not that I think he is worried about public reception, but he might buy into a lot of the bad science that's out there around plus-size bodies. I also think him and Chan would make jokes that aren't that.... well-received?

But if he gets through all of that, you have an absolute dork on your hands. He is so ready to skip chapters and be 4 years married going to your daughter's dance recital. He will dote on you and lay on you, and just hold your face in his hands and squish your cheeks to make duck lips. He is I think like Han in that softer masculinity, not that it's any less masculine. He's just not gonna be very dude-bro about it. If you want to take the lead he's all for it. If you want him to be the lead he'll happily step up. I think like some other members of SKZ he wants to provide for you, he wants to make sure you are happy and taken care of and feel loved. If you have a love language or a attachment style he will research it, or if you have an interest he will look into it to try and talk to you about it. Being plus size I think it wouldn't affect him much and if you needed to sit he'd sit with you.

He knows shame, and so if you were stuck in a situation where you felt shame like going to dinner with friends or being invited to do a day outing and getting winded? He would defend you or try his best to make it suck less. He is such a quiet reliance that he will be your security when the world falls apart.

-Seungmin

This motherfucker doesn't give a single flying fuck about how you look. Or how you think you look or if you think you look bad. It will always go like this

"Whats wrong?"

"...It's nothing"

Punches you in tiny "what's wrong?"

"I just don't feel pretty okay? Or like I deserve you or just gahh!"

"..Well that's dumb. Of course you deserve me. We love each other."

and he will walk away, run back ruffle your hair or give you a kiss and walk away again. THATS IT! I think if it was really serious he would listen and try to help, but he knows hes not gonna change how you feel about yourself in some grand gesture. We know he teases a lot of people, but if you made him aware that 'hey lets not' I think he'd be considerate about it. He'd then tease you about something else, but he knows not to super cross lines set up. If someone around yall makes a 'joke' or tries to make fun of you I believe he'd either try and spin it in a way where its not bad, or he'd play threaten violence but you know its not as...play as people believe it to be. He is I think also in the line of softer masculinity, but is more leaning towards the hyung line of masculine than someone like Felix. (everyone has their moments of course)

He is one of those people that I see wanting an equal partnership, someone he can have banter with (not just be rude and see if you put up with it) but like actual witty banter. He is simultaneously baby but also is happy to hold you close. He doesn't care about looking stupid in public so don't let you think for a moment he wouldn't hold your hand in public. He would bring you up in any conversation, just so proud of you and your accomplishments. He is rather shy of a person, until you get to know him then he is a twerp so if you can bounce with that energy you've got a good relationship in spades.

-I.N

This man is such a dweeb! In a good way! But his clumsy ass would actually be falling head over heels! I dont think hes gotten a lot of outside experience in the dating scene due to school and then just instant idol life? So someone with similar youthful energy that matches his would do really well. I think he'd need someone his age too, unlike Han who would be interested in a noona. Noona stuff for him I feel is more kidding than real relationship material.

This is where I have to apologize to Jeongin stans, I do not have a single romantic or interested bone in my body for IN other than 'he is baby, let me feed him food'. I wanna take care of him like a big sister, not a girlfriend. Though because of this I will link some fics to hopefully make it better. (I haven't read these so be warned)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@7ndipity @kaciidubs @itshannjisung @dreamescapeswriting @moonlightndaydreams @cutesyh @maymayribee @hanjisunglover @ldysmfrst

[valentine-cafe]

. ˚◞♡ 𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒓𝒂 209 — mutant-monster mad scientist◞ ₊˚

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ “ eyes on me, mi cielo. . . those pretty eyes are just for me, huh? all mine. even when you have long since passed, I shall hold your heart within my hands ” ꒱

. ˚◞꒰verse꒱ 209

. ˚◞꒰face claim refs꒱ ( x ) ( x ) ( x ) ( x ) ( x )

. ˚◞꒰species꒱ spider, mantis and moth mutate 

. ˚◞꒰ethnicity꒱ mexican-indian ( awadhi-tamil )

. ˚◞꒰age꒱ 38

. ˚◞꒰gender꒱ typically genderfluid but male-presenting ( sometimes works on the way people perceive him on different days )

. ˚◞꒰mbti꒱ istj

. ˚◞꒰aliases꒱ red widow ( heroes ), the mad scientist ( the resistance ), the lunatic ( the resistance ), the scarlet plague ( mutants/resistance )

. ˚◞꒰appearance꒱

𖹭. maroon eyes, with slitted pupils ( wears contacts to hide his pupils ). typically uses winged eyeliner and sometimes red eyeshadow. he can have multiple pairs of eyes if his mutation is showing; his sclera and pupils might disappear completely in this case

𖹭. mid-length, layered, fluffy and slightly curly very dark brown hair that trickles down his shoulders

𖹭. very androgynous face, with sharp and soft features combined. has a bronze skin tone

𖹭. slender physique, stands at the height of 6’2” ( 187cm ). can appear a bit feminine

𖹭. typically dresses in reds and blacks. ranging from a classy style that can bleed into vintage. very genderfluid in his way of dressing

𖹭. beauty spots: scattered on the right side of his face with one at the left corner of his lips

𖹭. lips usually painted shades of red depending on his mood

𖹭. retractable fangs with venom and claws

𖹭. elongated tongue

𖹭. fingers/hands covered with rings and chains, with long, red painted fingernails

𖹭. ear piercings: a pair of standard lobe and industrial piercings — his right ear dons a transverse lobe, rook, orbital and snug piercing while his left ear holds a daith, stacked helix and forward helix piercing.

𖹭. piercings: venom tongue piercings, septum piercing and nose ring, nipple piercings, navel piercing

𖹭. can extend strong, flexible, scarlet and black tendrils from his back and arms

𖹭. four spider legs that tear out of his back but he can retract

𖹭. overall, if his mutation is having a bad day or he is going feral, he may display spider features such as multiple eyes, pincers, mouth glands that can secrete acid and so on

. ˚◞꒰personality꒱

𖹭. oh so deceptive, in his smile, his voice and overall appearance. charming, sickeningly sweet with a faux amiability

𖹭. even when he is hands-deep into an experiment, he keeps false kindness and friendly façade. gives off an eerie vibe to those with a good intuition

𖹭. morally evil with a chilling lack of ethics. extremely cunning and two-faced

𖹭. silver-tongued and charismatic

𖹭. so effortless on everything that he does, exuding a cool confidence

𖹭. intelligent and quick-witted. loves playing mind games on people and getting into their psyche

𖹭. certain that whatever he is doing is for the betterment of humanity, beyond self-righteous

𖹭. quite stubborn and makes sure to see his projects through, as a result has a tendency of overworking

𖹭. may appear serene but is quite temperamental, displays his anger and bitterness in a scarily calm way with a charming smile and smooth words in spite of his horrific actions

𖹭. yandere esque

. ˚◞꒰with a lover꒱

𖹭. that charming personality does not fade with a lover, rishen is often quite flirty and all sorts of teasing with his beloved.

𖹭. loves flustering you — it is a part of his favorite pass-times. fluster you and then grab you by the waist, only to tease you further.

𖹭. affection is mainly displayed in a physical manner. he will touch anything and everything on you that you allow him to touch and kiss, all so that he can worship you and make you feel good.

𖹭. another form of his affection is through gifts. he adores spoiling you with a wide variety of whatever it is you either need or want.

𖹭. very verbal in his love for you and shameless in every way; his tongue holds no filter.

𖹭. late night dances in his office, bringing you coffees or teas through the day, and finding you in the middle of the day simply to pour his affection out on you.

𖹭. he is a very passionate and dedicated lover — however, there is a darker side to it. rishen grows obsessive and quite possessive, his nature that of a yandere.

𖹭. and yes he takes it to the extremes. . .

𖹭. should someone merely look at you in a way he deems wrong, it is their funeral.

𖹭. do not fight him on this, he’ll lock you away for his eyes only.

. ˚◞꒰strengths꒱

𖹭. intelligence: highly intelligent from a young age, resulting in advanced, prodigal level of skill in science and technological fields.

𖹭. increased bodily function: advanced strength, speed, agility and durability.

𖹭. heightened senses: advanced sight, smell, hearing, taste and awareness of surroundings.

𖹭. healing factor: an average healing factor that heals his injuries far quicker than an average human

𖹭. tendrils: strong, resilient, red and black tendril-like appendages that can be produced from his back and extend from his hands

𖹭. spider legs: large spider legs that tear through his back at times, it is extremely painful for him but are very useful in combat.

𖹭. fangs & claws: retractable fangs that secrete paralyzing venom at will along with retractable claws from the pads of his fingers that can tear through a variety of materials.

. ˚◞꒰weaknesses꒱

𖹭. mutation: his mutation as a whole, while it does grant him a wide variety of abilities is also his greatest weakness.

𖹭. metabolism: has an extremely fast metabolism that requires him eating a lot through the day.

𖹭. abandonment issues: he suffers from horrible abandonment issues, which can cause him to get erratic and panicked whenever someone he loves does leave him on purpose after arguments, tiffs, etc.

𖹭. heart condition: suffers from a heart condition that requires him taking medication in order to make sure his heart stays stable.

𖹭. stabilisers: in order to control his mutation, he is required to inject himself with stabilisers on an alternating daily basis.

. ˚◞꒰relationships꒱

𖹭. jìngyí herrera: husband, best friend, business partner

𖹭. javier herrera: father, deceased

𖹭. rishima singhania: mother, deceased

𖹭. alessio agresta arias: best friend, deceased

𖹭. wèi lìxuě: enemey

𖹭. liú tàishī: enemy

𖹭. zhào haitāo: enemy

𖹭. lorenzo agresta arias: enemy

𖹭. park tae-hyun: enemy

. ˚◞꒰story꒱

after undergoing experimentation, rishen emerges with a spider mutation and a hatred for his fellow enigma. inheriting the mega science company, valence, after his father’s sudden death, he aims to lead the world with knowledge and science. while also working his way to top as a seemingly benevolent businessman and world renowned scientist.

behind the scenes is where the mask falls. rishen has no issue with the mass experimentation on the enigma. being a driving factor of the enigma genocide across his world.

alongside his mad doctor partner in crime and husband, jingyi herrera, the two become an unstoppable and dangerous couple. committing atrocities and puppetting world order behind the scenes. deeming the control of enigma necessary in their self-righteous mission.

. ˚◞꒰extra꒱

𖹭. he is the ceo of valence and practically runs the city of nueva york

𖹭. speaks spanish ( latin american ), speaks mandarin, speaks hindi, speaks tamil.

𖹭. he knows asl.

𖹭. has a cat named Beatrice Herrera Reina the 2nd queen of the abyssal dread. ( his and his husband’s ���daughter” )

𖹭. he has four dobbermen: cupcake, cinnamon bun, horchata, strawberry

𖹭. he sometimes smokes

[doink-boink]

I fully think that Zach does what he does because he is a VERY LONELY MAN. He makes robots to do his bidding (keep him company), he acts like he hates dealing with people but leaps at the opportunity to work with the other villains. He's also a genius whose ideas have been scorned since he was little, probably incredibly isolating for a guy who could have taken his ideas and used them in a good way if he was encouraged to do so. Major gifted kid to burned out adult vibes. I just feel like he has a lot of potential......

-Martincrushcameback

Yes!! Regarding leaping at the opportunity to work with the other villains, you can really see that in The Mystery of the Weird Looking Walrus!!

(More under the cut because I ramble for a good while)

He desperately wants Donita's approval as well as her friendship - of course that blows up in his face, not only because he didn't get her the pearl, but also because yknow. He's a big ol liar lol. I haven't watched the episode with it, (as I'm not on season 6) but you can see this when he compliments the Amphi-Trek XT!!

Zach stops himself short as he's about to compliment an invention that Aviva made because he wants approval from Paisley!

I want to explore this more in my fic, especially regarding WHY he and Aviva aren't close. They went science camp together, yes, but the show drops little details between them that implies that they might have actually been friends. Or at least, that's how I interpreted it!

In my AU I think that they were good pals up until Highschool, but Zach's decision to work with animals is what ends that friendship. He had no regard for their feelings and health, using them for his own gain. (Additionally, he starts to use animals/pursue that as concept as AVIVA began working in that field!! He wanted to connect with her, but ended up driving them apart.)

In typical Zach fashion, he refuses to stop what he's doing because it's getting him attention from others, maybe even the school itself, giving him the praise that he needs. His own ego ruins everything!! As it does in the show! Furthering "because it's giving him the praise that he needs" thing, I feel as though he isn't close WHATSOEVER with his parents.

At least, not in the typical fashion. AU wise, I think that Zach has a strained relationship with his father, but was very close to his mother! Want to make it a Moral Orel type deal with Clay's backstory where something happens and his mom is out of the picture, leaving him with his dad. Maybe this happens before he begins to use animals for his bidding? It would make sense! He wants some sort of attention that he isn't getting at home, some sort of acknowledgement that he's doing something good!

Aaaa!! There's so many things to explore with Zach as a character!! He's so fun man. And so very tragic at the same time lol

Also would like to bring attention to his CLEAR want to express his self worth!! I feel like he "looks up to Aviva" in his own weird little way in canon. Of course he is actively 'tearing her down' here, but you can tell that he KNOWS what she's capable of and wants the other villains (that's the context here, I believe it's Paisley's introduction to them) to believe that he's capable.

Even after this it's really clear to see that regardless of how he feels about her, he LIKES Aviva's inventions enough to steal them time and time again!

Dude. Dude just go work with her man it's for your own good... Wink wink nudge nudge I toooootallly won't do this in Somethings Never Change nooooooo

But genuinely, he would have so much to gain from WORKING WITH AVIVA. He wants her companionship so bad man.

Sorry this post got so unbelievably LONG lol, I've got a lot on my mind about these guys. Also apologies that I went on my own little sub tangent about my fic, hope it was okay!!

[longbobmckenzie]

Too Hot to Handle 3: Episodes 1-3 Thoughts

We're back, bitches.

And as always, I have thoughts.

First off, the customization. It was fine. I like the hair options and that there are additional prosthetics/CGMs, but the rest of it felt like the same thing all over again and it took me a good 10 minutes to come up with someone I was relatively happy with but not thrilled with. Also the smiles are still creepy but at least we get to preview them this time

I love being a bombshell as it adds something fresh and means I didn't have to sit through the opening where everyone comes in because that takes soooo long sometimes (maybe next time we're an OG we can be one of the last to arrive?)

FREE PASS!!! Buuut all we got was some kisses and making out? Like come on. They should've either said we get a free kiss on the date or at least let us be extra naughty

I also like that we got to customize the LI we took out on the date and the customizations were permanent instead of limited to during the date

I picked Taz. I gave him a beard and manbun, and now he looks like Marshall 🤣 I have a type, okay?

I typically like to whore around during my first playthrough but after picking Jirayu for the tour and Mattias for something else (clearly not memorable since I don't remember what it was), I just keep gravitating back to Taz. Him being stuck-up about the food on the date kinda sucked but then he said he liked that I wasn't just saying stuff based on what he likes and he relaxed and became a lot more fun and then we made out and I shared a bed with him and yeaaahhh I like him. So I've been picking him every option ever since

But that doesn't mean I'm not already dying to see who comes in as bombshells

As for the other LIs, the biggest disappointment to me is probably that... WHERE ARE THEY?!?! If you don't pick them for scenes, they're almost non-existent. I've seen Bear more than I've seen Carmen or Beatriz. I'd love for them to be more integrated into the storyline, which I think S2 did a great job of. That said, once we lock in to our LIs I'm sure we'll see more, but how am I supposed to get to know these people if I never see them and don't want to choose them over Taz?

That brings us to the non-romanceable (yet) characters. We know from the achievements that there are 3 achievements for a BFF-to-lovers route, so I guess 3 of them will be possible endgames (not sure if this also includes any future bombshells or if it's just from the 4 OGs). Anyway, so far... I'm not liking them. Victoria's a fugly bitch (spoiler: good riddance to her), Sean is cartoonishly annoying (he gives me Felix vibes but I also wonder if they're trying to make him like Hamish), and I'm just not vibing with Julian or Giselle as friends, let alone future love interests. And the problem with that is that they're the ones constantly being pushed in my face instead of the other LIs, which is just making me more annoyed with them. Again, I think S2 did really well with this, so hopefully it changes. But otherwise, ugh.

Back to Taz - I love that we have such amazing chemistry and he's willing to break rules with me, and it's all just purely physical at this point. Like yeah, we've talked a bit about ourselves too and expressed an interest in getting to know each other, but I don't feel like either of us are emotionally invested yet and I love that - because this is THTH, not Love Island. We're not here for love, we're here for sex. I don't wanna feel after a day that my LI is already half in love with me. There's plenty of time for that

Is it just me, or have there been a lot of potential rule breaks already? I've only been in there a couple days and I've already spent so much money - lots of heavy petting and manual gratification with Taz so far, plus kissing

I'm so getting kicked out 🤣

I'm intrigued to see more of Bad Lana and how that plays out - I've only seen the first episode of the new season of the show, so it'll be interesting to see how they do it in the game

another HUGE plus: less time in the beach hut!! They're not doing a full chapter of beach hut confessionals anymore, just tacking on a bit to the start of one of the chapters, and I LOVE that change. it also means we get more actual game time!

There's a threesome in the achievements. I'm ready.

Anyway, overall I think I preferred the start of S2 (I remember being pretty blown away by the potential and the branching), but this is still a good start and I'm excited for the season. I'm ready for bombshells, and I'm definitely gonna play a 2nd profile to see what Jirayu is all about because I'm intrigued by him. And I wanna be messy on one route and more loyal on another, because I love seeing all the branching when you play both ways!

[littlerocks]

9-1-1 - 7x06

Before we start, if it initially looked like the theory of chim kidnapped/lost due to drunken eddie buck who lost it, we can say that in the past few weeks we have been falsely accusing them that they were to blame for the chim scomaprsa HAHAHAHHA

A buck in his era of organizing and supervising the party

Typical attitude of a mom, when she scolds her son not to eat until all the guests come

Buck being like: So you chose death

.

.

Buck is already muscular in his own right, but here Tommy surrounds him, so cute.

I WANT MORE HUGS BETWEEN THEM.

In my opinion here, both Buck and Tommy were sad that they couldn't be together, when Tommy says “I'll do my best to come to the wedding” and buck says “yes of course,” tommy kind of makes that face to say “I know you're sad that I have to go, I don't want to do it but I have to

That “be safe” Buck's, AAAHH scream, he's worrying about Tommy and then that hug with the back rub as if to make the contact stay in at, I LOVE THEM TOO much

Buck's face, it's like “nothing my plan to be with tommy and have fun shattered in seconds”

.

.

Literally Buck and Eddie are dangerous together both sober and drunk

The hangover vibes with buck and eddie be like:

Literally this image is: eddie kind of grounded with a chamomile tea in his hand to sober up and meanwhile he thinks about all the mistakes in his life AHAHHA

.

.

Maddie and Chim how much I love them together, they are a beautiful couple and a beautiful family.

They will always be there for each other, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

They really found each other, they break me together AHAAHH

.

.

Buck is a little happy to be able to see Tommy, and he arrives all dirty just to be present at the wedding without even changing, just to see Buck after a long and tiring shift at work and not even bothering to change for fear of arriving later.

Tommy apologizing for being late by saying the incendo was a beast and Buck saying tommy is too, that's proper flirting

Then that kiss, literally I felt it all the way here in Italy, literally charged with the attraction between them and that “mhh” of tommy, in my opinion surprised by this kiss that buck gives him, charged with emotion, madò it shocked me but in a good way, then buck kissing him with that power and then also putting his hand on his neck, my god I scream

I read some comments saying that buck and tommy have a chemistry just on the attraction they feel but not a mental/romantic type of chemistry, unlike eddie and buck who have like a mental chemistry, even just in speaking, whereas if they just talk just tommy and buck quietly, you can feel some awkwardness as if they are so different from each other.

I have to say that I agree with that, but partly because I think that between the two of them an acquaintance came about because they are physically attracted to each other, but that should not be seen as a bad thing, because I think it's normal that relationships can come about first from a physical attraction and then also from a mental attraction and vice versa, and also we don't know what Tommy is like outside of work, what he usually does, what a typical day of his is like outside of work, and I hope that in the next episodes we will have like buck and tommy deciding to enjoy a day of relaxation isnieme, to get to know each other better and so we will also get to know a side of tommy that we have never seen

.

Buck with that toothy grin, all happy and content, not caring that he "coming out", then tommy in my opinion still stunned from the kiss earlier, knocked him out more than the fire AHAHAHA

I like too much that buck feels so free, and I'm happy that he's not even ashamed to show up like this and kiss tommy in a hospital where everyone can see them, I'm too happy for him that he found someone who makes him feel good.

Unlike the first date, when he was so nervous about being seen as a date or finding people who know him, now he highly cares and enjoys himsel

The look on eddie's face is beautiful, like he's proud of buck being well, happy and free to be himself without being ashamed or judged

I just hope the parents don't come out later with some homophobic attitude/words, also because if that happens they will have the charge of all 118, tommy, maddie, his parents Bobby and Athena against them to defend buck.

I don't know, because from this frame (kind of guessing) it looks to me more like the mother shocked, while the father either didn't cite or doesn't care that buck is dating a man, he seems to have a calm look on his face. The options are many: either the parents are happy (which for meimpossible, they will tell him something for sure), or they didn't accept it, or the father is happy for buck but the mother is the one not accepting. Honestly I hope the parents are happy for buck and know that the important thing is that he is happy no matter who he is with

Hen and Karen sneering knowing it would happen sooner or later ahhaahaha

[fluffle-writes]

So, I saw your twst isekai idea post, and had IDEAS!

so I'm not super familiar with most of those series/fandoms, BUT...

What came to mind for me was Stardew Valley (since it's been on my mind recently). I don't know how familiar you are with the game, but I think that if he was isekai'd there, Jade would THRIVE as a farmer! I mean, he's got a green thumb and knows about plants. There's a mountain (with a mine), plenty of local flora to forage, and a possibility for a MUSHROOM CAVE on the farm. He'd LOVE IT!! Plus, the people in town are incredibly interesting - he'd never get bored there. And he's sketchy clever and resourceful enough to know how to get what he wants. His family are suggested to also be 'businesspeople', after all :)

Epel would also do just fine there, obviously. He already comes from a farming family, so I imagine he'd do a good job setting up an orchard in Stardew Valley.

On the other hand, I think that Idia would STRUGGLE in that situation. He's very clever, but NOT GOOD with new people, or much manual labour. And unless he already knew about gardening/farming/foraging/fishing/etc. from a game or series, he'd probably be totally lost on how to manage. (It would probably be pretty funny for us, but very stressful for him.)

(I put a buncha stuff under a 'read more' because I wrote. Many words lol)

I LOVE STARDEW VALLEY I'VE BEEN PLAYING IT ON MY SWITCH AND HAVING SO MUCH FUN OBLITHERATING PIERRE IN THE STARDEW VALLEY FAIR (I care about this a normal amount)

AND YESS FARMER JADE!!! OMG HE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE THE MUSHROOM CAVE HIMSELF BEFORE DEMETRIUS EVEN THINKS ABOUT SUGGESTING IT TO HIM!

Just,,, Demetrius showing up at Jade's house and being all 'hello I could set up a mushroom cave for you if you want' and Jade showing off his already thriving mushroom colonies completely filling the space lmao. I wonder if they'd be mycology buddies with how Demetrius is a biologist (iirc)

He'd love to forage in the surrounding areas and hike around the forests - and fishing! I remember him being super passionate about everything in the Camp Vargas stories he was in and I just love how he can get so happy when he's able to indulge in his interests.

(I wonder if he would mess with some of the villagers by swimming in the ocean in his merform... I may end up shipping him with Elliott if I think about that too much - typical bachelor on the beach falls for the mysterious merperson in the ocean typa story idk my brain is running away from me haha)

----

EPEL WITH AN ORCHARD YES!

He would be in his element! I can imagine him with expertise from what his family taught him on his farm - how to selectively breed plants to make the best produce, how to graft two parts of heirloom species of plants together to get the best traits from both (like the roots from a tomato plant bred to resist root diseases and the stem from a plant that produces large, delicious fruits! I've seen a video about it and it was really cool lol)

And he has the type of face and vibe that I feel like would make older ladies fawn over him a little if that makes sense? Like Marnie, Caroline, and Jodi - their group. Like, he's polite because of his time with Vil, he's quite short and has a boyish face, he's hardworking etc. I can see him receiving cookies from Evelyn and stuff like that.

----

AND LMAO IDIA SUFFERING HAHA

I'd say that he'd get along with Sebastian but I doubt that they'd end up meeting with how neither of them really go outside (I know from waiting outside Sebastian's door before I thought to look up his schedule online haha)

Idia's internal dialogue would probably be an absolute disaster haha - he is NOT built for this environment! There's too much focus on socialisation! And his noodly gamer arms cannot do farming! He would be having a Bad Time and it would definitely be funny to watch it pan out haha

At least there's a chance that he could have some meta knowledge due to the fact that he's a gamer. Maybe it'll be exactly like some sorta game from Twisted Wonderland called 'SunMist Hollow' (I just searched synonyms for that haha)

[daeva-agas]

You know, I want to say this, because from the first time I saw the Toei Ladybug anime PV, my impression of Felix was always that he’s emo/angsty. Like the “I’m so tortured”, listens-to-Linkin-Park sad sop kind of thing.

When TA said this dynamic got scrapped because it was too cliche, I thought he meant that it’s too much like the 2000s-era brooding dudes and I get that maybe they thought it’s just “too yesterday” or whatever.

I don’t really see where the accusation of him being a jerk comes from. Do the non-anime crowd maybe just see it differently or something? Because there’s stuff that are probably anime-specific gestures that you might not catch if you’re not used to it. Or maybe it’s the sketches/concept art that came out later that affected people’s perception, IDK. 

(for example, the drawing of a guy dropping apple on Marinette’s head that people thought was Felix for the longest time, but is recently revealed to be a pre-Felix incarnation called Nathan)

Anyway, I don’t know what kind of material was Toei given to work with or if this is just “Vibes” and don’t map to any of the backstage versions that we’re aware of. If I’m just looking strictly at the PV, Felix just looks like a sad emo boy.

Like this little close up of his eyes when he talks to Marinette. His eyes narrow slightly, and his head tilts down a little. In anime, they usually do this to show melancholy/sadness, conflicted feelings, or hurt.  

So the scene that follows, where he walks away, looks like a classic “I can’t be close to you because [insert dramatic reason here]” kind of scene. Just... it can be whatever. Maybe his parents are too strict and limits who he interacts with, he needs to focus on his studies, he doesn’t want his bad luck to hurt her, or whatever Sad (TM) stuff you can think of. 

The same with the scene where he refused Marinette’s invitation. When he turns away you see that he’s looking down slightly. Again, this feels more of a “I actually want to but I can’t because [insert Plot (TM) reasons here]”. Not a cold snub. 

Just because she looks sad (exaggeratedly), doesn’t mean that he was being mean to her. Shoujo heroines do this a lot even when the guy turned them down very nicely and for valid reasons (e.g “I can’t go because I need to go to work/attend a very important family function/someone literally died/etc”). 

And honestly her face looks more like a typical shoujo “Aww darn, better luck next time” kind of face to me. 

Anyway. This is my anime POV observation. Someday I will get around to actually making something and not just passively viewing content.

[spacelizzbian]

Ahsoka s1 ep6

Love how they reminded us of the fact that there are "former imperials working at every level in the new republic" ain't no way they're getting back to the normal galaxy this episode? like bro, dw I didn't forget the New Republic kinda sucks 😂

Deadass thought Ahsoka was gonna spill on her world between worlds experience 💀

Hm, Ahsoka seeing Sabine giving the enemy the map as a fault of her own shortcomings as a teacher when it shows that she really was Anakin's padawan.

Urging Sabine to do what's right and putting feelings aside, while being unable to do that herself and fearing what could happen because of it..... this coming after the episode where Anakin's legacy and Ahsoka's unease with it was explored is 😭😭

Though it is throwing me off that she's still saying the same stuff as before her epithany last episode?

I understand it would be too easy if those fears caused by Anakin's betrayal would be healed after one episode and they probably wanna save that moment for a more exciting scene than her and Huyang sitting in the mouth of a space whale. But it'd have been better if Ahsoka showed that she has progressed in this regard?

I cannot believe they did the cheesiest thing and actually had Huyang say the thing.

This show so corny I love it

Pour one out for the Wolfren people, there was a prison on board lmao

God I hope he keeps his promise, he's a more interesting dark sider if he does

Something about them being so far from civilisation is actually creeping me out....

They were in hyperspace for all of the events of last episode, probably longer, that distance between galaxies is incomprehensible.

If anyone gets stranded or hurt they'd be so far away from help, the typical "fleet arrives to the rescue" at the last second can't happen now.

I don't think it's ever sunk in for me how hopeless Ezra must've felt being stranded here

A signal?!? Really??? That was fast lol

You know, for a literal different galaxy, I'd have expected this planet to look funkier.

Even Dathomir looked more mythical than this

I guess I take back all that dreadful pondering about being stranded far from home in a deserted galaxy cause apparantly there are fucking people living here

ok sure

Poor Sabine, not Jedi enough for Huyang, too Jedi for them witches 😔

I swear to god if they show us another iteration of order 66

I don't think I've ever commented on Shin and Baylan's designs but I love how they almost have a game of thrones fantasy knight vibe about them. Makes sense as this convo suggests they seek glory from the past.

Props to Kevin Kiner, the music is stealing Thrawn's intro scene

Wild guess Im throwing out there, Enoch is Ezra but like ... brainwashed as Savage was

Either that or he is deep undercover as one of those stormtroopers, that def sounds like something he'd do

Bro why there so much familiar kind of typical star wars life on this DIFFERENT galaxy?? 💀

OH HE JUST A BIG LIL PUPPER ���🥺

Damn, last episode really felt like clone wars in style and this one really feels like rebels lmao

Shin self identifying as a trained Jedi? Interesting.

Her doubting what Baylan is saying?

Oh?

I cannot wait for Baylan "destroy the past" Skoll to face off against Ahsoka "recently started healing from the wounds of the past" Tano again. I can practically feel the emotional culmination of this show and Ahsoka's character concluding

Oh these creatures are gonna get fridged so bad aren't they?

Ah shucks my wild angsty guess disproven so quickly

Tho Ezra just chilling with a bunch of lil creatures is also very him

They can sense Ahsoka approaching in the whale?¿?¿? That sure is convenient for them

Lmaoooooo Morgan is so angry she's like "sOMEONE FUCKIN KILL THIS DAMN WOMAN ALREADY IVE HAD IT

👏 UP 👏 TO 👏 HERE 👏

WITH HER IMMORTAL BS"

Thrawn upon learning Ahsoka's master was Anakin: "oh, psssht, I know what buttons to push, easy"

[bricommissions]

Haii haii.... I'm a minor who uses he/they Pronouns,, + I am so horribly awkward irl and people kinda mistake me on being on a bad mood/angry (because sometimes I squint my eyes because I cannot fucking see clearly bc I think I got the wrong prescription of my glasses!! And to add along with it, it furrows my eyebrow, and because of my "resting bitch face") but in reality I'm not I swear!! I lack friends but more on having acquaintances,,,, and I try to be nice in every social interaction(in the end the conversation won't last a minute) but uh I try to "look" or "act" more kind because I don't want my younger brother to start copying me like mom is gonna blame my fuckin ass if they turn out to be a little shithead delinquent, so yeah I guess I'm nicer to kids, even tho some of them are scared of me because of me being too nice with them or acting like I'm their older sibling!! But I swear I'm nice and respectful, sometimes annoying and clingy to my acquaintances? (I am backing off from them rn bc they might find me too annoying) and also to my older sibling, in online I'm the same but more social and like... I have 2 friends online, I'm a silly lad who roams around the internet either on tt, ao3, discord, or tumblr, and twitter, and of course I cannot forget about the slow self esteem!! Also it would be very very nice of you could pair me to both genshin and enstars thank you !! :D

omg hi hi, thank you so much for sending something in !! i hope you're having a good day/evening/night :D

DRUM ROLL, PLEASE . . .

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

FOR ENSEMBLE STARS : KOHAKU OUKAWA !!

i think the both of you would instantly get along very well. & it's only uphill from there !! as you said above, you're often mistaken for being in a bad mood. however, i think kohaku would be able to see through that & sense your true kindess right off the bat. he's very intelligent & good at reading people. that awkwardness you mentioned probably wouldn't even apply since he instantly feels more at ease around you compared to his unitmates.

if you were a part of the staff working with the younger idols in training, i have a feeling you would eventually run into kohaku. after you keep meeting, you'd eventually get to know each other better & even become friends !! since he has older sisters & you are an older sibling in your family, you'd be able to level with each other about family matters. you can share the struggles, exchange tips, & swap points of view. before you even realize it, you both start looking forward to spending time together.

kohaku starts helping you out with the young future idols when he's not working with his units, crazy:b & double face. he sees the way the younger teens are wary with you because of your older sibling vibes, but he's quick to defend you. kohaku is in a very crazy ( pun intended ) unit, but with you, his silly side comes out for reasons unrelated to work. he talks about how he doesn't quite understand how you don't have more friends considering how kind of a person you are. kohaku enthuses about how much he enjoys your company, that he's able to enjoy being himself with you. along those same lines, he's quick to pick up on your struggles with self esteem. that's why he always compliments you when he gets the chance. he points out your efforts to be kind, the way you take care of the idols in training, & how much respect you show to those around you.

after working with the young teens, you both have a habit of hanging out in the practice room once they all leave. you typically end up showing kohaku silly videos you've found on various platforms on your phone. the more this happens, the closer you'll sit together. eventually, you have an unspoken thing of holding hands while scrolling through the videos you wanted to see kohaku's reactions to in person. you showed him discord & he made an account; you obviously became friends on there. you might send him goofy memes on there whenever you're not together.

HOWEVER !! the unspoken thing becomes obvious when kohaku gives you a parting kiss on the cheek one evening after practice. the rest is history !!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

FOR GENSHIN IMPACT : BENNETT !!

i can think of no one other than mondstadt's coolest adventurer ever !! similarly to kohaku above, i think even an accidental "angry" face could not deterr him from befriending you almost instantly. he struggles with making friends because of his unfortunate bad luck streak, so he'd see becoming friends with you as a rare yet welcome instance of good luck !! perhaps you're also a part of the adventurer's guild ─ that could be how you both meet.

i think you'd both have a wonderful time adventuring with one another. since you are respectful, you wouldn't make fun of him for having a hard time with luck. you bond over reasons why it's difficult to make friends. him with his notorious bad luck, you with being misunderstood as someone with a temper. i think you both would be friends for at least a year before he starts realizing that his feelings may not be platonic anymore.

it's when he watches you tell the younger kids who dream of being adventurers themselves stories about your quests that he realizes he likes you !! you both often watch over the kiddos together after a long day of adventuring, so story time happens often. but there's something speial about that day.

bennett thinks about how he loves the way you don't judge him & how he deeply enjoys being your number one cheerleader. as the kids go home, he spends the rest of his time with you beneath the golden sunset telling you exactly how he feels.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

THANK YOU FOR READING !!

if you're the person that sent this & are unsatisfied with the results, feel free to shoot me an ask or im !!

if you'd like to receive one of these yourself, they are still open at the moment. please refer to THIS POST if you're interested.

if you liked my writing, please consider commissioning me !! it is my only source of income at the moment. i offering writing commissions such as custom character x reader fics, comfort character emails, ship fics, & more <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[irresistiibles]

hi hey hello waddupt this is a plotting and starter call for the mini event! beneath the cut are all my characters and what they’re up to for it. they all have potential plots listed but i’m definitely up for more than just what i’ve thought to put. randomized people will be updated when the pairs are released. feel free to like this and i’ll hit you up on discord for some plotting or reply if you want a starter from me. please make sure to reply with who you want the starter from/for or i will be unable to write it. i have been slowly dropping some of my older winter threads so definitely happy to get more threads started through the event even if they’re just our characters chilling in the madness. 

achilles / affected / unaware / paired with patroclus - (1/5) : josh washington

yikes uh so like technically achilles doesn’t have any special powerrs, but he is the child of a god and it shows. things rarely hit him and he basically never misses. though he’s going with this he’s not having fun with this and he’s got a sort of miserable feeling about it, which is going to make him more likely to snap at others potentially getting in the way

potential plots: major/minor injuries, unaliving someone, maybe being unalived himself, someone trying to either talk him down or physically stop him, injuring someone he considers in the way

amber / affected / aware / paired with lumine - (1/5) : lumine

kind of vibing tbh. i’m keeping her with her usual personality so she is rather upbeat for someone going for a murder. kinda a threat. she’s got a bow and arrow and bombs, but not super intense and could pause enough to try and help others out

potential plots: major/minor injuries, helping people to shelter, defending someone else, any doppleganger nonsense with someone going after a jessie mei li fc or her accidentally fighting a dove cameron fc

asami sato / affected / aware / paired with korra - (0/5)

sure she doesn’t have any powers but this is someone trained in self defense, martial arts, and is pretty proficient in weapons. she’s got many tasers and a gun :). will be helping other people as long as they don’t seem to be trying to stop her. if you try and stop her she will fight back

potential plots: minor injuries, helping other people find shelter, helping anyone who’s injured, maybe getting in a fight with someone

chihiro ogino / unaffected / aware / N/A - (0/5)

she was just gonna stay in and watch some movies for valentine’s day and she’s very confused. chihiro is not a fighter so i don’t know how much help she’ll be but she’ll probably offer a ton of strangers shelter in her house

potential plots: helping someone find shelter, minor injury from getting caught in the crossfire, maybe a lighter goofier two people vibing while everything is on fire in the background

ciel phantomhive / affected / unaware / paired with elizabeth midford - (1/5) : elizabeth midford

this is an asthmatic who has never fought in his life as far as he can remember! he has a gun but like, he is not good at firing it. his aim is terrible, the recoil always leaves him reeling for minutes, it’s just kinda embarrassing. he’s stressed

potential plots: injuries, someone helping him out, just some stressed people hanging out, potentially looking to have his memory changed

esther mckinnon / unaffected / aware / N/A - (0/5)

she typically likes valentine’s day! it’s tacky but she finds that fun. this is not fun! will be doing her best to help out and find her family like usual. bad with magic but will mace a bitch if they try and start shit. 

potential plots: minor injuries, helping people out, getting into fights, mace to the face of someone trying to get violent, someone helping her locate her family, doppleganger nonsense

glinda upland / affected / aware / paired with elphaba thropp - (1/5) : elphaba thropp

trying to kill elphaba but she’s not good at fighting so they’re just like grappling each other. hard to get caught in the crossfire of someone who’s mostly trying to bite and pull hair but im happy to plan something anyway. there are so many florence pugh fcs so she could definitely have some nonsense going on

potential plots: minor injuries, getting caught up in other people’s fights, doppleganger nonsense, quickly and poorly patching up someone’s injury

jin ling / affected / aware / randomized with gwen blake - (1/5) : jiang cheng

he can fight at like semi better than average but not amazing so it’s gonna depend on who he’s paried with. he does have a spiritual dog that will fight for him with very powerful jaws so there’s that. he will unfortunately fight even if he’s outclassed and is quick to start fights so could absolutely wind up fighting other people as well, but also if someone seems really out of their depth he will help

potential plots: minor or major injuries, other people pulled into a fight, any of his family helping him in any which way or him trying to find them and make sure they’re okay, helping people out

lily evans / unaffected / aware / N/A - (0/5)

just wanted a quiet night in honestly and is glad she’s not involved in this nonsense. will try and help people out. she doesn’t start fights for no reason but she will step in to defend people if necessary

potential plots: minor injuries, helping people in any which way, pulled into a fight

luo qingyang / affected / aware / paired with wen qing - (0/5)

yeah she was out but she didn’t bring a weapon out with her and doesn’t love fighting so it’s not anything serious coming from her. we’re talking slapstick nonsense ideas only. she’ll try and help people out here and there but she’s also got her own concerns

potential plots: minor injuries, trying to talk people out of it, helping anyone out as needed

madoka kaname / affected / aware / paired with homura akeme - (1/5) :  chibiusa tsukino

really regretting not making a wish and becoming a magical girl right about now because she does not know how to fight! i cannot imagine her heart being super into murdering homura or anyone for that matter so she’s probably trying less outright violent tactics like poison or what not. will also help people on the side and could use some help herself

potential plots: minor injuries, trying to talk people out of it, getting help, giving help

mob / affected / aware / paired with rosemary winters - (0/5)

i am so so sorry to like anyone even near him. it doesn’t matter if you’re rosemary. if you’re looking for your character to get in trouble without a date. he is a way too powerful psychic who can absolutely tear a city apart. he can probably be talked down to an extent, not enough to snap him out but enough to make him sad and pause and get a character to safety. they will be very upset and apologetic afterwards

potential plots: someone caught in the crossfire, him accidentally injuring someone, someone talking him down a bit, helping someone to safety

nico di angelo / affected / aware / randomized with beth greene - (2/5) : annabeth chase, will solace

apology number two coming your way. another op idiot i am so sorry to whoever is stuck with him. he can just straight up turn someone into a ghost but it’s not something he currently remembers doing so i’m taking that out of his arsenal. has a sword and a lot of summoned skeletons who probably aren’t all that particular about who they fight. could probably be distracted at least

potential plots: someone he injures, minor injuries for him, skeleton nonsense, maybe some sort of ridiculous distraction, he could kill someone for funsies

nie huaisang / unaffected / aware / N/A - (0/5) 

uh, he’s unaffected but i can’t promise he’ll be helpful like oh no your date is trying to kill you? that seems like a you problem. he’s trying to find his brother and that’s it that’s his only priority. he could definitely get caught up in someone’s nonsense but he’s just gonna try to run away

potential plots: minor injury, him getting caught in the crossfire of something, a little running to safety crew, someone helping him out

rita skeeter / unaffected / aware / N/A - (1/5) :  zoya nazyalensky

she’s unaffected but will be starting problems regardless. she’s filming stuff, pointing out people who are hiding an absolute disaster. willing to help her friends commit violence. she thinks the whole thing is horribly amusing

potential plots: someone violent she finds amusing and is following around, minor injuries, helping some people out with their violence, someone she screws over

san / affected / aware / randomized with wu si qi - (1/5) : sophie hatter

no powers but a feral person with a knife who’s end goal is to tear someone’s throat out with her teeth. even if your character is overpowered she will try to fight she has no chill. will fight other people, not really if they’re trying to stop her, they just want an excuse to fight humans honestly.

potential plots: minor injuries either for her or caused by her, they could murder someone, maybe having a quieter moment and patching someone up, plenty of fighting

shang qinghua / affected / aware / paired with mobei-jun - (2/5) : dongfang qingcang,  mobei-jun

surprisingly, is sorta capable of fighting, in like really backhanded ways. sneaking close and using a knife, any sorts of poison, what have you. i don’t think he’s going to get in random fights but he won’t really be helping people. more likely manipulating people to get help himself.

potential plots: doppleganger nonsense, minor or major injuries for anyone involved, getting someone to help him

shi qingxuan / affected / aware / paired with he xuan (1/5) : he xuan 

having a Bad time. will go from being chill and happy trying to kill their favorite person to being very distressed and miserable, so could have interactions from either end of that. wouldn’t really get in fights with other people and might help out, but also has some wind powers and could hurt people who are nearby, and then will really need some help later on

potential plots: doppleganger nonsense, people who help them or people they help, minor/major injuries, someone to hide with, someone who helps them hide, honestly just like an emotional support, someone hurt in the crossfire

toph beifong / affected / aware / paired with mouse honrada - (2/5) : katara. sokka

she’s having fun. loves an opportunity to fight. will not worry about other people getting caught up so if you’re in the way you will get fought. will for sure cause damages to the city. may try and find friends, either to check in or help them kill their people

potential plots: someone they hurt, someone trying to talk her down or fight her down, fun fighting time

victor nikiforov / affected / aware / paired with yuuri katsuki - (0/5)

this goofy motherfucker doesn’t know how to kill anyone. he’s trying but i wouldn’t take it that seriously. he could get caught up in some other people’s nonsense but he’s not a fighter he’ll help people find shelter though

potential plots: some normal people just doing their best together, helping out, goofing off despite it being a horrible time to do so, inopportune selfie buddies

yin yu / unaffected / aware / N/A - (1/5) : ling wen 

trying to stay out of it. very worried he’s gonna get pulled into it by someone he knows when he wants zero part in it. he’ll help people where he can, bring them to safety, patch people up, but he’s trying very hard not to be in any fights. if it comes down to it he has a big shovel and will wack someone with it in order to get away

potential plots: people he’s helping out, someone he fights off, a little hiding out crew

zagreus / affected / aware / randomized with vex'ahlia - (0/5)

canonically poly, so he and his partner are going on separate dates this valentine’s day lmao. he’s a very good fighter though he is pretty close combat so there are ways to avoid him. i also don’t think he naturally carries a weapon with him but he will improvise. he does like fighting so honestly he’s in a good mood

potential plots: helping people out, fighting someone who gets in his way, minor injuries, causing injuries, getting people to safety, helping someone else fight for funsies

zhongli / affected / aware / paired with childe - (0/5)

another op guy who could definitely get people caught in the crossfire. he’s got ways of fighting close up and more ranged area attacks, so someone could get hurt by accident. a little feral about it all but will wanna check in on his friends. can shield other people if he snaps out of it a bit

potential plots: protecting people, someone who gets hurt by him, minor injuries, getting people to safety, trying to talk someone out of it, helping someone else fight cause he’s having a good time

[thedonkeyofyourdreams]

the bastard son and the devil himself rewatch

Ep. 5

You know what they say. It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop. And that is how I see my rewatching adventure. 

Episode 5 is a good one. Maybe I like it because we don’t spend much time with Jessica and Soul, but rather get to see the trio bond. As they are walking through the forest, Gabriel is leading the way and Annalise (and sometimes Nathan) keep asking typical childlike question - “Are we there yet?” - but not only is Gabriel not a GPS, he is also not all that mature himself, and so responds in an equally childish way. I just appreciate that since it is in this episode they grow closer and Gabriel starts teasing them about sexuality. 

Annalise is faced with fairborns not necessarily being the good ones after finding burned up corpses. “They wouldn’t do this” - um, yeah they would sweetie, your daddy wouldn’t even break a sweat over it. They reach the farm, Nathan uses his papi to get the good will of the scary blood witches, which is smart if no one mentions the prophecy. Hostility turns into hospitality. 

I quite like their days at the farm. How Gabriel teases Nathan with sex. “Shagging sounds like something you’d do to a carpet” STRONG AGREE! Also, the way Gabriel looks at Nathan in this scene. He might be oogling the strong dude at the farm, but judging by him being with Clark before this, his type might not be body builders after all. 

The bloods teach us more about their kind - how there are a few lucky ones with the ability to take other’s powers. How it is a cultural thing, something beautiful, to eat the hearts of your family and loved ones to keep their gifts in the family. How the fairborns killed Marcus’ mother, meaning that he couldn’t get all of the powers she had gained through her time, and that he now ate the hearts of those he killed to make up for it. Sure, he looks a little less barbaric now, but not enough to convince us he’s necessarily ‘gooder’ than the fairborns. Just as bad maybe. 

Bed scene. Of course there is only one bed. Nathan in the middle, Annalise has no wish to be sandwiched, strangely. Gabriel does not seem too bothered, he has spooned people in small beds before I’m guessing. It feels like Annalise is trying to show Nathan that she is ready to bone at the next opportunity. They have a little moment together in the bed. Then boom, morning and we get this gem

This is when I for real started shipping the trio first time around. I love how unbothered Annalise is also. Just two snuggly boys. Soon after, Gabriel invites Nathan to visit him when everything is done, so that he can learn to let his hair down. Can we just take a moment to imagine this? What if they got to Mercury, no prob, here’s your blood, Soul falls off a boat and drowns, and Nathan visits Gabriel in Paris for a weekend of “debauchery” (G’s word, not mine). If no one has written that fic yet, please do. 

There is such a nice vibe to the farmhouse scenes. The light, the plants, Odette singing. It feels cozy - except for when they mention stuff like killing people. Nathan and Annalise go to catch chickens, and it looks like they just gave the same task to the actors and filmed whatever would happen. I could not have done it any better at least. Then they lie in the grass and Annalise goes for it, after telling Nathan that she knows that him being a heart-eater does not mean he wants to eat her heart. I think the sexy session is pretty cute, realistic for the most part. Then the chicken house blows up. I’d think it’s a big turnoff to imagine your lover becoming a blood puddle mid-action. 

They go back with the dead chickens, and Gabriel can tell they have had sex. Of course he can. I guess he knew already when Annalise didn’t want him to join their chicken hunt. Was it Gabriel who inspired her to go for it? Or was it Odette’s flirting with Nathan that made her so keen? Who knows. 

Then comes the hunters and with them a fairborn captive who is to be killed. It is quite beautiful for an execution. Red blood becomes red flowers. Gabriel takes Annalise’s hand, and I would say it is the first time he does something just for her, no sarcastic comment, just empathy. The first of many future supportive hand holdings. 

In the evening, the whole family is gathered when Nathan collapses because of the witche’s bottle spell. The little girl was sent for ingredients and and comes back - as Jessica presumably, but still speaks french. I assume taking the shape of someone doesn’t mean you speak their language, but I guess Jessica is just that good? 

The blood witches, Odette, understand that Annalise is a fairborn, but she has just told Ceelia she never wants to see Soul again, which I guess shows the blood witches that she rejects her own. She gets to live. In the chaos that follows, shots firing back and forth, Jessica has stabbed a man and then comes for Nathan’s finger. She also gets to see Annalise’s power, and I can imagine she would have loved to have something like that. But since she doesn’t, she has to run for it. Gotta get that pinkie to Soul. 

Odette sees her whole family being shot down, but still manages to get the trio to a boat. Ceelia finds them, helps getting a helpless Nathan on the boat, before Odette knocks her out with a shovel. I like Ceelia, but good for you Odette. 

We end the episode on Soul drooling at the sight of the old woman with all the powers. He has truly become the very thing he is hunting. 

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Random thought time:

-I don’t typically like fics where anyone other then Izuku is gender bent because I’m my experience it becomes this weird sort of… bleh mess that doesn’t stay true to the characters.

For example: fics where Todoroki is turned female give me weird vibes a lot (not all but some) because they make her less Shouto and more ‘ice Queen girlfriend who is emotionally intelligent and super smart’ when in reality Shouto is an emotionally dense wall. Not dumb (defiantly not as often shown in fanfic) but he’s not that smart about emotional or social stuff. By removing that you remove a huge part of his character. And sure different socialization but let’s be real: I can still see Endevaour moulding Fem!Shouto into his successor especially if Rei can’t have more kids. (Headcanon but yeah) so her experiences are mostly the same.

Other examples include just… they like make the characters so off in my head it’s hard to read. Like I read a Fem Kirishima where she was all long hair and giggles and I’m like: Fem!Kiri is the biggest ducking himbo in the world who is jacked as fuck and has her short spiky hair still. That’s Kirishima.

- I’m still salty about the ‘this character is bisexual with a harem but only has the opposite gender in the harem’ shit.

- I find myself not giving a fuck about Tsu more and more but I’m reminding myself it’s cause of fanfics and that I need to research shit to get back to liking her. I still don’t like Izu/Ocha/Tsu though and never will.

- I have come to the conclusion I will refuse to make Iida, All Might or Izuku a bad person in fics because they get enough shit and I love them.

- I really want to write a story with an older sister for Izuku who ends up raising him cause I’m giggling over the idea.

- I hate time travel in the sense of ‘we can go back in time but cannot interact with anyone due to paradox’. I like it as in ‘the world ended so fuck it. Let’s go back and try again’.

- I find myself wishing I’d not had Inko be a bad person in POTSOD, but I don’t fully mind cause I like writing Dadzawa.

- I sometimes wish to try and write out Raising Kacchan but fuuuuuuck I don’t wanna deal with Stan’s finding it and then my other shit.

- I am very annoyed each time I see a tiktok whining about genderbends. Yes, some suck. Others though are fucking amazing as they observe shit.

-I had Shinsou/Jirou ONCE and now my brain keeps poking it with a stick.

- I refuse to write ShinKami anymore because I can’t stop just seeing smaller EraserMic and it feels so cheap to do it because fan authors literally make it the whole thing that it’s the second coming and fuuuuuck it’s boring.

- Ms Joke’s flirting should be treated like how Mineta flirts as Aizawa does not seem to be amused by it, and his reaction to her showing up is oh shit, not ‘oh yes!’

- I wanna write a one sided crush for Aphrodite Rising that ends very badly as in scorched earth who isn’t someone anyone expects because I wanna make it hurt and really examine how toxic views on things can affect anyone and sometimes you don’t realize how toxic they are until it’s staring you in the face.

- Any fic that has any character other then Izuku be Quirkless (Uraraka, Shout, Bakugou and so on) should be avoided in my mind because half the time it’s a thin excuse to bash Izuku and the other it’s just dumb. Write him getting into the hero course!!

- I still believe the best character arc for Bakugou is for him to never rise about the mid rankings as this shows he will accept it’s not a competition and that heroics should be about saving people not beating them.

- I would have 90% less of an issue with Bakuhou is it wasn’t for the idea that Izuku HAS to be his friend after.

- I have ranted about the above before.

- … I have in fact read some B@kuDe€u fics that weren’t bad, but like that’s a rare fucking find that doesn’t have Izuku be a freaking doormat that just smiles and nods at the shit that Bakugou pulls.

- I got called a hypocrite a while back on POTSOD and I think it was about Bakugou and you know what? Fuck it. Fine, call me that. I’ll admit it. Will anyone else admit they’re one to for stabbing the fuck out of him while screaming about Endevaour?

- speaking on that the more I think about it the more I’m like: I might… kind… maybe… sorta… don’t mind his redemption arc because while I firmly think the message you must always forgive your abuser is a shitty one I do know that at least he is trying. I just think it’s a bit to little to late but he acknowledges that at least in some cases.

- someone said they hate Magne because people only like her as she’s trans and they ignore Toger and stuff. They were also giving off mad homophobic and transphobic vibes with their shit though but… fucking hell they had a point and I hate it. Magne’s character is so flat that… yeah. That’s a fucking point for a lot of her love. (Not that it’s wrong or anything but where is the Tiger love?)

- I plan on redemption arcs for Toga in a few fics but I’ll be blunt they are not what people normally expect.

- I love asshole Dabi but I do enjoy my ‘he’s a good brother’ fics it’s just asshole Dabi is more fun to write. Maybe I’ll try one day to write it but until then… yeah.

- I’ve warmed up to TodoDeku and UraDeku more but I still stand by the idea that Iida often gets forgotten and he should be around way more. I see to many fics replace him with Todoroki and it kind of made me salty about the platonic friendship between Todo and Izuku. Why are you replacing Iida?!

- JiroMomo has reached a similar state as UraTsu to me: I find it stale because it’s often used in fics as a background pairing and sure they’re friends but there’s the ‘get the girls out of the way’ vibe mixed with ‘yeah they’re friends but… can I personally see chemistry!?’

- it is after midnight and I think my laundry is done after my giant ass purge/clean today so good night. Send me asks about this shit to if you want

[brownieracha]

The college experience

Pairing: OC x Lee Know

Genre: college au, angst

wc: 9.5 K

A/N: This is my fic for the clownracha fic exchange (so excited!!) and I got @simpracha as the person I had to write for!!! So the main character is kinda based on Doe uwu (look I tried). My first idea was something completly different, too complicated for me since is the longest fic i've ever wrote, so I hope you like what I ended up writting hehe. I wrote it with all my love <3 I really hope you like it ♥

Sumary: This is your typical enemies to lovers (or at least I've tried lol), where Jess wanted to have her typical college experience, but it got ruined by Lee Know. (i'm sorry i'm bad with summaries)

Tags: @simpracha @wooyussy @georgenootfound

“But I want you to go too” Chaeryeong looks at me with puppy eyes. “It’s not going to be as fun if you don’t come.” I simply sip on my coffee without giving her an answer.

“Come on Jess!” Yeji insists. “We’re going as a group, if you don’t go, we’re not going.”

For the last (seemingly never ending) 10 minutes, they’ve been trying to convince me to go to this random party they heard of on campus. I really, really don’t feel like going. I tell them so.

Also I have way too many unfinished assignments.

“What do you mean if she doesn’t go, we’re not going?” Lia blurts “This is my opportunity to talk to him!” She turns to look at me “Jess please.” I sigh.

I’m seriously about to get dragged to a party just so Lia can flirt with whoever her new crush is this week. I just wanted to have a nice coffee before class and now I’m finding myself trapped in this conversation. Perfect timing for someone to take me out, I think. Violently, preferably.

I really don’t want to go to this frat party. Where’s a bus driver charging at full speed when you need it?

Yeji looks at me with puppy eyes, and I wince. I’m far too easy for them. Their puppy eyes fill with excitement, and they know they’ve almost got me to go.

“I have to think about it” I settle with.

“Oh my god, guess who’s also coming to the party” We look at Ryunjin, who is showing us a random group chat. All we can see is a ofc I’m going! from a random number.

“Girl, I don’t know people by their phone number? Who’s that?” I squint. trying to get a good look at the profile picture.

“Someone you might be interested in.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

If my face could, it would turn into one big exclamation mark with two big fat red circles for cheeks. The girls start giggling when they notice.

“So now you have to come to the party.” Yuna says. “It’s your opportunity to flirt with Hoongjoong” I turn redder, if that was possible.

“Can you keep your voice down? I don’t need the whole building to know I have a crush on him, jeez.” I get up and grab my things. “I’m going to the library now to finish some homework, because I guess we’re going to that party.” I finish putting my things away and I put my jacket on. “But as soon as I feel uncomfortable, we’re leaving.” They all nod.

***

Later that day we all met at Chae, Lia and Yuna’s apartment to get ready all together. We all bring our backpacks with different outfits and makeup because we love getting ready together and sharing clothes. We start drinking and blasting our favorite songs while we look through outfit options. After a couple of hours of laughing and trying on clothes, we end up a little tipsy, but we do end up being ready enough to leave the flat.

Ryunjin is wearing a pair of black cargo pants, paired with a dark blue butterfly top and white platform sneakers. Lia and I are both wearing dresses (mine is red and hers is black), and we’re both wearing the same black converse model. Chae is wearing a beautiful pink skirt with a white crop top and golden heels. Yeji and Yuna end up wearing a very similar outfit, all black, edgy vibes, paired with a leather jacket each.

At last, we arrive at the house where the party is taking place. As soon as we go inside the - host? designated rando? - offers us some drinks.

“What’s in here?” I ask, smelling the cup. The smell of alcohol hits my nose in return, strong enough to make it twitch.

The boy who just gave us the cups shrugs his shoulders and goes back into the kitchen. Oh, okay then.

“If I were you, I would rather drink out of the bathroom sink.” We hear a manly voice next to us.

“Stinks from here, girls. ” I look to my left and see three men standing next to us.

“Woo!” Ryunjin goes to hug the red haired one. “What the hell? I haven’t seen you in a minute! I missed you!” They hug.

The red-haired man is well known by us, he’s been friends with Ryunjin since she started college. They’re both majoring in dance, but Wooyoung is two years older than her, so they don’t go to classes together. 

“You know, I’ve been here and there, doing lots of stuff.” He shrugs with a smile, looking between us and his friends. “Let me introduce you to my friends, but I think you already know them.” He smiles. “He’s my best friend San.” Ryunjin laughs and San winks at her. “And this is Hoongjoong.”

As soon as he introduces the last boy, I feel an elbow poking my side, and I give Yeji a warning look. Zero subtlety, this girl has. Can’t fathom the idea that not everyone wants to be put on blast in front of their crush and an entire frat.

I’ve had a crush on Hoongjoong since I first started college - he was three courses ahead of me and he was one of the students that came into our class the first day to tell us about the course. He even offered his help with anything we could’ve needed. Ever since then -  since hearing how passionate he was about producing and writing music, I’ve felt naturally drawn to him.

The conversation runs smoothly from there. After introducing ourselves, we converge in a relaxed half-circle by the left far corner of the room. It’s fun, and I laugh at the retelling of my friends’ adventures in college and the venture of adult life.

A good thirty minutes must’ve gone by, when Lia and Yuna excuse themselves.

“We’re going to try and find Jeongin.” Yuna informs. “Let’s hope today’s Lia’s lucky day.” She winks, making everyone laugh. And with that they go into the living room.

The group falls into a short-lived silence, not uncomfortable. I take one look at the inside of my cup - I still haven’t thrown it away, I don’t know why. To my right, I faintly register Woo and Ryunjin catching up.

“Jess, right?” Hoongjoong says next to me. “I remember you from your first day. You were asking a lot of questions. You were so eager to start doing things” he smiles at me. My knees nearly buckle when he does.

“Yeah, I’ve always loved music. Ever since I was very little. I started playing the piano when I was a child. My parents say I always had some kind of music on.” I smile. “And if I wasn’t, I’d just make the music myself. I still do that - it’s like my brain is a living jukebox.”

I get a little shy - I usually do, when I’m talking about myself. I instinctively look down. “I ended up settling for a music major, it made sense for me. I have a hard time expressing myself sometimes, but - not with my music.” I look back at him. His eyes look soft around the edges, and I grin back at him. “Plus, it would be cool to make music that means something to someone. Music makes me happy - I want to give that happy back.”

“It’s kind of the same for me” he replies, and he’s still smiling as he does. I repress the urge to sigh lovingly - that would be embarrassing. “Ever since I started writing music, I’ve been able to express my feelings better, and-”

“And he can spend days in the studio working on a song. He’s a bit obsessive about it” a tall man appears behind him and hugs him by the waist. “I have to drag him out of the studio more often than I should.” He laughs. Hoongjoong looks down, biting his lip to repress a smile.

He’s so fucking cute.

“That’s not true.” Hoongjoong whines.

Suddenly, the other man grabs him by the chin, turning his face. Oh.

They look at each other for a couple of seconds. They’re not even doing anything, but I get the insane urge to turn around and avert my gaze. Oh wait.

The feeling flares as the taller man closes the space between them and kisses Hoongjoong.

Well. Fuck.

“Seonghwa! You made it!” Wooyoung greets the tall man. When they hear him, they separate from each other. They greet each other and Wooyoung introduces us to Seonghwa, who apparently is Hoongjoong’s boyfriend.

And apparently, they’ve been together for 2 years now. How could I not know this?

I can feel Yeji, Ryunjin and Chae staring at me from the corner of my eye. Fuck, I’m feeling properly embarrased right now. If I don’t leave right now I’m going to throw up all over Chae’s fancy shoes.

I say goodbye to everyone quickly and go try to find Lia and Yuna. I hope Lia has had more luck than me tonight.

I go into the living room trying to find my friends, but when I turn the corner, I run into a slightly taller man. I immediately stop before I crash into him. I look up to see who he was and apologize for not looking where I was going. To my surprise I find someone I wish I wouldn’t never have met.

“Oh hey, sorry, I didn’t see you there.” I say, and I try to get away.

“Hey! Jess! Wait!” I hear him calling me while I was leaving. “Wait! Can we talk?” I hear him coming behind me.

“I don’t have anything to talk with you” I turn around to face him. “You already said enough  a while ago, Minho.” And with that I turn back around and go away as fast as I can. I really don’t want to talk to him or even be in his presence.

Instead of looking for my friends I decide that it is a good time to go home. Alone. I don’t want to be here anymore. Seeing him reminded me of why I don’t like going to parties. I walk out of the house, and I see my friends as I’m leaving, but they don’t see me, so I decide to leave without bothering them.

Once I get home, I look in the mirror and I see that my makeup has smudged, I didn’t notice I was crying on the way here. I take of the rest of the makeup, put my pajamas, and get into bed, ignoring the calls and messages from my friends. Tomorrow would be a better day. I’m hoping.

The next morning the sun wakes me up, I check my phone to look at the hour and I see the messages from the group chat and calls from the girls.

I call them in order to tell what happened at the party. I press the videocall button and wait, not for too long because they immediately pick up the phone. Since Ryunjin and Yeji share a bedroom at the dorm, they appear on the same screen. They both look okay, they are the responsible ones, I’m guessing they didn’t drink much yesterday. On another screen I see Chae and Yuna, they look a bit hungover. I see myself on the screen and I wasn’t expecting to look this bad. Apparently, I didn’t take off my makeup very well yesterday.

“Woah Jess, are you okay?” Chae asks, “You look like you didn’t sleep well.” I see her worried face.

She’s not wrong though. I couldn’t sleep last night as I wanted to, all because I kept remembering all that happened last year. I was convinced I was over everything, but apparently, I’m not.

“Where’s Lia?” She’s not answering the video call and I don’t see her on Chae and Yuna’s screen. Then I remembered she was the one that wanted to go to the party to flirt with Jeongin, so I’m guessing she was lucky last night.

“Well, she hasn’t come home yet.” Yuna says, waving her eyebrows. So, I was right, she was luckier than me last night. I feel so happy for her, she’s had a crush on Jeongin since we first started college.

“Hey girls” Lia appears on the screen.

“Omg speaking of the devil. Where are you?” Yeji asks. She opens her eyes wide when she realizes.

“Do I have to say it, or do you already know what happened?” Lia whispers. We all laugh. “Let me go to the bathroom so I can talk.”

Once we’re all more calm with Lia’s news, I start telling them what happened. Since Yuna and Lia weren’t there when we met Seonghwa, I told the whole story.

“… so, when they kissed, I went to look for Yuna. And when I was going into the living room, I almost crashed into…” I stop.

“No dramatic pauses, Jess!” Chae exclaims.

“��Minho” They all become silent for a minute. They all know how much he hurt me.

It all happened when I first started college, I was so excited to meet new people, and to party. The whole college experience.

That’s when I met the girls, in my first year. I met Yeji, Lia and Yuna in class, we were paired together for a group project, and we instantly became friends. With that we started to go to parties, and we met Chae and Ryunjin. Yeji and Ryunjin were friends before that because they were sharing a room at the dorm, and Chaeryeong and Ryunjin had met each other in class. They were both doing a dance major. And with that we started going to a lot of parties together and meeting new people at every party we went to. That’s how we met Minho.

One party we went to was at this big house in which eight people lived. We were invited to it because three of our classmates lived there, Han, Changbin and Bangchan. They were known as 3Racha, and they were kind of famous in college for their music. They knew each other before going to school and they were already producing some music. So naturally I talked to them early on when I started the music major. Han and I instantly became friends, and that’s how we got invited to that party where I met the rest of that friend group. They were all very nice, Felix and Hyunjin shared classes with Ryunjin and Chaeryeong so they already knew each other. Minho was also a dance major, but he was older than them. In that party is where Lia met Jeongin and she’s had a crush on him since then.

When I first met Minho, he was nice, and since he was older than us, he showed us around. He made sure we were always safe, and he was almost like our protector. Or that’s what I believed. I started to spend more time with him and his friends, and with all that the eight of them and the six of us became close friends.

One day after a party I started to realize that I was falling for him. I told the girls how I felt about him, and they all encouraged me to go and tell him about my feelings. I wasn’t confident about it until one night.

I decided to talk with him about my feelings and maybe ask him out. I was convinced and maybe a little tipsy. So, I went over where he was, and asked him if I could talk to him in private, since he was with two friends, Han, and another boy that I didn’t know. To my surprise his response was a laugh. I was very confused, because we have talked in private before and I didn't really understand what was going on. I took a deep breath and tried again to make him come with me to talk privately. He didn’t even look at me and started laughing, again, with this other boy and all I heard was “I told you man”. I looked at Han, not knowing what was going on, trying to look for an explanation. I was starting to be mad at him, I wasn’t understanding his behavior. Han looked at me with compassion in his eyes.

“Look, I know you’re obsessed with me or whatever” What! I couldn’t believe what Minho was saying. I’d never seen him behave like that before, he was always nice with all of us, even with me when we were alone. I wasn’t falling for him for nothing. “Do you really think I was interested in you? God, you’re so naïve. Not everyone being nice to you means that they want you.”

I start feeling like i’ve never felt before, my heart was broken and I was humiliated. I paralyzed, not knowing what to do, not even realizing that tears had started forming in my eyes

The other boy and Minho started laughing and Han got up to hug me.

“Man, you’ve fucked up this time, I don’t even recognize you.” Han took me with my friends and told them what had happened, as I wasn’t able to speak. I wasn’t, my brain was still not processing what had just happened. I was really shocked. I wasn’t expecting a love confession from him, I only wanted to talk to him in private. And if he really wasn’t interested, I thought he would have told me in a kinder way. I was sad and mad at him. With that I decided that I didn’t want to go to another party if he was there. I didn’t want to see him anymore. My feelings were hurt. The next day he tried to come and talk to me, but Yeji and Ryunjin didn’t allow that to happen.

I lost contact with some of the boys, since I didn’t attend any of their parties that year. I only talked to 3Racha when we were in class, and I never came across Minho again. Not until last night.

“And when I saw him all the feelings came back, I thought I had forgotten what he had done.” I feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes. “But I guess I can’t forgive him for what he did.” I start crying. 

“Well, fuck him.” Lia said, after they all stayed silent for a minute. “Let’s go grab breakfast all together and I’m sure you’ll feel better.” I smile at her words.

I get up from my bed to get ready for breakfast with them. Being with them always cheered me up when I’m feeling down. So that’s exactly what I needed right now.

Half an hour later we all meet at our regular café place, I’m the last one to arrive there. When I get to the table where they all were I get hugged by all of them at the same time. My tears threaten to start coming again.

“If you need to cry, do it Jess. You’ll feel better after it.” Yeji says after looking at my face.

I laugh while a single tear drops down my cheek.

“I don’t want to waste another tear on that jerk, he doesn’t deserve it.” They laugh. I feel safe with them.

“Of course, girl, he doesn’t deserve anything from you.” Ryunjin holds me by my shoulder as we sit side by side.

“Let’s change the topic, shall we?” Chae claps her hands together. “Ryu, how was last night?” She waves her eyebrows.

“Ryu?!” I turn to my side to look at her. Ryunjin turns red. Another one that was lucky last night. I can’t help but feel a bit hurt, but happy for them. I wish things were easier for me, but since that night I hadn’t had luck with love.

“Well…” Ryunjin starts speaking, turning redder every second, “I met someone…and” she giggles.

“Can you go straight to the point already, please?”

“Chaeryeong, don’t be impatient.” Yeji laughs. “But, who, who did you meet?”

“I met a girl, a really cute girl and we talked for a while” she stops, her face is the reddest I’ve ever seen her. She’s always confident when it comes to flirting and talking about it. “And she kissed me” Ryunjin covers her face with both hands.

“Wow, you must really like her! I’ve never seen you like this.” Yuna chuckles. “Who is this mysterious girl? Do you have pictures?”

Ryunjin shows us her Instagram.

We stay together until lunch time, talking about different things and laughing a lot. At this point I’ve forgotten about Minho and everything that happened last night. I go home to eat something feeling so much better.

Minho POV

I hadn’t seen Jess since last year, so running into her at the party was weird for me. After being so close last year, until I fucked up. I feel so sorry for what I did to her, all I want to do is apologize. So, when I saw her at the party, that was my plan. I overheard the boys saying that she and the girls would be at the party, so I thought that was the perfect opportunity to talk to Jess. But when she ran away from me, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I feel so bad for the words I said to her, I really wasn’t thinking and maybe a little drunk. Which doesn’t justify what I did. I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me, but she deserved an apology from me, at least that. I also needed to do it, I needed to heal from my past, and she was the last person I had to apologize to.

The day after I told Jess the horrible things I did, the boys sat me down because they were done with my behavior. I was mad at them because it was none of their business how I behaved.

“I’m old enough for you to tell me how to behave.”  I left the conversation. they were no one to lecture me. But then the next day Han came into my room, and we had a long conversation. I said horrible things to him, and he did to me. We both ended up crying, and when I saw my best friend crying for the stupid things that were leaving my mouth is when I realized that I needed to do something. I apologized to all the boys for what I said the day before, and they helped me find a therapist. Because that’s what I needed.

One year after I changed. And I realized how much I hurt one of the few people that cared about me. That’s why knowing she was going to be at the party was the perfect opportunity for me.

“So, were you able to talk to her?” Han approached me minutes after she ran away from me.

“I didn’t” I look at the floor. “I fucked up so bad, I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me. But what I wasn’t expecting was her running away. I feel worse than before, she deserves an apology.”

“Take it easy and expect her to run away from you.” Han puts his hand on my shoulder “You really hurt her feelings. You can’t picture how miserable she was after what you told her.” Han was still close to her since they shared classes.

“I know! I just want to tell her how sorry I am.” I look down. “I’m going home.”

On my way home I kept thinking about Jess' reaction, and it was clearer that she deserved the apology as soon as possible. The best option to get to talk to her was trying to see her at college. And that was my plan.

A couple of days have gone by since the party and I’ve already forgotten about it. Life went back to normal, going to class and spending time with the girls.

I was going to meet them at the cafeteria after finishing my classes for the day. So after putting all my stuff in my bag and saying goodbye to my classmates, I went there. None of them were there when I arrived so I went to a table and sat there, waiting for them. Suddenly I heard someone pulling the chair next to me, so I look up from my phone, thinking that it was one of the girls. To my surprise I see Minho sitting next to me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask in a serious voice.

“Listen, I want-”

“I don’t care, because I don’t want to listen.” And with that I get up from my chair in order to leave. I don’t need to listen to anything he has to say. He will hurt my feelings once again.

“But, Jess, please-” He looks up, and for a moment I feel sorry for him. But I have to be strong, I’m not willing to go through the same thing I went through last year.

“I’m sorry but I don’t have anything to talk to you about, so please leave me alone.” I go, without looking back at him.

As soon as I’m out of the cafeteria I look for a bench and I sit down. I unlock my phone and look for the group chat to ask the girls if we could meet somewhere else.

I don’t want him near me for now. Seeing him is opening old wounds I thought were closed.

For a moment I felt like he had changed, that he wanted to go back to where we were before. But then I remembered the pain I felt when he said those mean words to me. I will never forget, as much as I want to. I start to remember the good times that we had together as friends, and I start to feel furious. A single tear drops down my cheek.

A few moments later they all arrive at the coffee shop we talked about. When we all have our coffee, I decide to explain what happened, since none of them wanted to ask me why the sudden change.

“So,” I start, finding it hard to explain. Lia, who’s sitting next to me grabs my arm trying to calm me down. “I- He-.” I clear my throat before continuing. “He came up to me, to talk with me.” I finally say.

“Who? Minho?” Ryunjin exclaims. “What did he want?”

“I don’t know” I shake my head. “I didn’t want to talk to him” I look down. “When I saw him there, I thought that he had changed for a moment. Then every bad memory came to mind, so I ran out. I don’t know what he wanted.” I look up again just to see Yeji’s worried face,

“Are you okay?” She asks.

I don’t know what to answer, I’m not really sure. I’m feeling so many things that I’m not sure.

“I truly don’t know” I hold back the tears that are trying to escape my eyes. “I thought I was, until he tried to talk to me.”

“Maybe he wanted to apologize.” I look at Chaeryeong as she said the craziest thing I’ve heard in a while. “I’m just saying! Don’t look at me like that. I know how much he hurt you, but maybe he’s changed.”

“I don’t want to keep talking about him, let’s do something else, please.” I say.

We end up chatting about more fun things. Since Yuna’s birthday was coming soon, we were planning a party.

“We don’t have to throw a big party if you don’t want Jess. I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” She looks at me and grabs my hand. “I want all of us to have fun.” She squeezes my hand.

“I’ll be okay, really!” I know Yuna loves going to big parties and what better way to celebrate her birthday other than throwing a big party for her. “I think it will be fun actually.”

And I do think that I would have so much fun at that party. I’ll be with my friends, having a nice time without worrying about anything else. I just hope this party goes better than the last one. At least for me.

“Okay class, we’re going to do a project about music through history. This time I’ll make the pairs so there’s no problems this time.” The teacher looks over his glasses. He looks back at the paper he’s holding between his hands. “I’ll pin this paper on the board so you can take a look at the pairings for this project.” He does that and as soon as he gets away from the board, we all go to check it out.

“Jess!” I hear a voice behind me as I’m checking the paper. “We’re together!” I turn around just to see Han’s smiley face.

We get away from the people that are still checking the paper and we sit together.

“We’re going to do the best project.” Han claps excited. “I’m so happy that I get to do a project with you.” He hugs me from the side.

“Yes!” His excitement is contagious. I’m happy that he’s my partner for this project and not someone I don’t know that well. “We should meet up and decide on how we’re doing this.”

Suddenly his phone starts ringing. “I’m sorry I have to pick it up.” He gets up. “I’ll text you later.” He says as he goes out of the class.

I get up and go back to where I was sitting before, next to Yeji, Lia and Ryunjin. I find Lia and Yeji there.

“Who did you get for the project?” I ask them.

“We’re together for this project!” Lia exclaims. “We were so lucky. What about you? Who did you get?”

“Han! I’m happy to do a project with him to be honest.” I smile, remembering how excited he was to be paired with me. He was one of my best friends but after the Minho incident we hadn’t talked much, but I knew he was always there for me if I needed it.

We go where Ryunjin was talking to a boy from class I don’t recognize, it must be who she has to do this project with.

“We’re going to the cafeteria, are you joining us?” I ask her, hugging her from the side.

“I’ll go in a second, grab me a coffee please.” She hugs me back, and then turns back to keep talking to her project partner.

As soon as we get into the cafeteria, we see Chae and Yuna at a table, so we join them. We all order our coffees and Ryunjin’s. The latest join us five minutes later.

“What were you talking about?” She asks as soon as she sits down and leaves her things on the floor next to her.

“Yuna’s party.” Lia replies. “We have almost every detail planned.” We all nod.

“I have to say that I’m very excited to do this.” Yuna giggles. “It’s going to be epic.” We laugh. She always gets excited to go partying. A few minutes later I hear my phone and I check it, just to see that Han has messaged me about meeting up for the project. I unlock my phone to reply while they keep talking about the party.

I lock my phone and go back to the conversation with the girls about Yuna’s party. We have to plan this well.

“We can go tomorrow to pick up decorations.” Chae suggests.

“I can’t, I’m going to Han’s to do this project about music through history that we have to do together.” I reply. “Can you go without me? I could pick up the cake the day of the party.”

They all agree on that. The party will take place in two weeks at Yuna’s so we still have time to put everything together without forgetting about classes and homework.

Minho POV

I go inside the restaurant where Han and I decided to meet for dinner. After a day full of things, mostly classes and homework, what I need the most is to talk to my best friend. I’m still thinking about the interaction I had with Jess the other day.

When I saw her sitting alone at the university cafeteria, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk with her. And for a second I thought she had somehow forgiven me, for a moment she seemed like she wanted to listen to me. Just for a second. Then she ran away from me once again. I felt a pain in my chest when she did, when she went away without giving me a chance to apologize. When I felt that I realized that she must have felt like that when I rudely rejected her.

“Hey!” Han waves me from the booth he’s sitting at. I wave back and I go there to sit in front of him. “Are you okay?” He asks me as soon as he looks at me.

“Tired day, just that.” I sigh. “I had two different dance classes and that’s exhausting. And after that I had to study and work on a project. I have no energy left to be honest.” I rub my face with both hands.

“Are you sure that’s it? Minho, I know you and I know something is bothering you.” He does know me well. Damn. “It’s this about Jess, isn’t it?” Han is the only one who know how sorry I am for how I behaved last year. He knows what I felt for Jess, and how I fucked up because I didn’t know how to manage my feelings.

“It is about her.” I look down. “I feel awful for what I did.” I look back.

“Did something new happen?” I still haven’t told him about the other day at the cafeteria.

I nod, and I tell him about it. I also tell him how I’m feeling. As I’m telling him that I realize how easy it would have been knowing how to communicate my feelings. If only I knew how to a year ago, good thing the boys made me search for a therapist. I wish I perceived that I had a problem and I had to go earlier in life.

“You have to give her time. She was devastated when you did that. You’ll have to wait until she wants to hear you.” He was there for her, since they were good friends. “For now, keep trying, but don’t push it if she doesn’t want to talk to you. You don’t want her to hate you even more.” He laughs nervously. I know he feels awkward talking about this, and I would feel too.

I stay silent for a few minutes, thinking about everything. About how to approach her in a way she’ll feel comfortable if she can ever feel that way with me again.

“I guess I’m feeling guilty because she didn’t deserve to get her college experience fucked up by me and my stupid decisions.”

“We’ve already discussed this, don’t do that. Self-pity is not going to fix the past, you have to work on the future.”

Next day arrives and I wake up earlier than usual. I have to clean my apartment before going to Han’s house. I hate every second of it, waking up early has never been my thing. I always stay up late finishing stuff that needs to get done.

An hour goes by, and my apartment is somewhat clean, at least clean enough to me. I pack my things and go out to catch the bus to meet Han. Before going into the house, I buy two coffees since I know Han is not a morning person either and his energy is going to be low.

Just a moment before ringing the bell I realize that, if I’m going to be here, Minho is probably going to be around. I take a deep breath putting myself together, he cannot dictate where I can feel or not feel comfortable. I decided at that very moment that he doesn’t matter anymore, that he can’t hurt my feelings again. He doesn’t matter. Did it take me going back to his house to realize that? Probably, and I should have come to the conclusion earlier. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

I ring the bell and I hear voices inside. I can recognize Changbin’s loud voice, so I’m guessing he’s going to open the door. Seconds later I’m greeted by him, opening the door as I predicted.

“Hey Jess!” I hug him, and he hugs me tightly. “Come inside, Han is upstairs.” When I enter their house, I see Bangchan sitting on the sofa, so I go towards there to greet him.

“Jess! How have you been?” He gets up to hug me. I’ve missed this so much. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from them.

“I’ve been good.” I smile. Is this lying? I don’t think it is, technically I’ve been good. And bad. “I should probably go upstairs, I bet Han is waiting for me.”

“Or maybe he’s asleep again.” I hear Changbin shouting as I’m going up the stairs. I laugh.

I knock on Han’s door and enter his room, still laughing.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, turning his head to look at me. He was sitting on the floor, with his back resting on the back of the bed. I go sit next to him, giving him a coffee. “Thanks.” He smiles. He looks tired, he had probably pulled an all-nighter.

“Nothing, just Binnie.” I say between laughs. I put my backpack on the floor in front of me and I take out my laptop and a notebook. “Yesterday I was looking at the notes the professor gave us, and I figured out how we can distribute the work so it’s easier.” I hand him the notebook where I drew a diagram on which part of the project we have to do.

We get into it pretty quickly, just talking when we have any doubts about the information we’re finding. An hour and a half later we have pretty much all the information we need. We just have to put it together and make it look presentable.

“Come in!” Han says after hearing a knock on the door. Right after that Felix’s head pops through the door.

“Hi. I baked some brownies. Do you want to try them?” He offers a plate full of them to us. He’s so nice. I haven’t tried any of his brownies yet, but if they are as good as his cookies, I bet they’re going to taste amazing. “So, how’s your project going?” He sits on the floor in front of us while we eat his brownies.

“I think it’s going smoothly.” Han replies with his mouth full. “It shouldn’t take us long to finish it.” He looks at me and I nod, the project is easier than we both expected so it should be done fast.

“I will leave you then so you can concentrate.” Felix gets up and leaves the room, leaving the brownies for us.

After another hour we decide to stop. The project is almost finished, and we need to take a break.

“Oh, Jess.” I look up from my laptop to look at Han. “Do you want to listen to the last song we were working on?” I nod and he hands me an earphone.

I’ve always enjoyed 3racha’s music, and the whole process they go through to make new songs. I find it very interesting how the three of them manage to synchronize and make such good music. Since I’ve always worked on songs by myself, I find it hard to work with other people.

“It’s really good!” I exclaim after hearing what they’ve got so far. “Now I need to listen to the whole thing.” I look at Han and he laughs.

“I will show you as soon as we finish it. I’m glad you liked it.” He hugs me. I’m so happy that I got paired with him to do this project. This has made me realize how well we work together, and how much I like spending time with him. Fuck Minho for hurting me and making me distance myself from this wonderful people.

“I should get going.” I separate myself from the hug and start putting my stuff back in my bag. He gets up and goes downstairs with me.

When we get to the living room, I see an orange ball of fur looking at us, sitting on the edge of the sofa. I immediately go over there to try and pet the little cat, and he lets me do that.

“Hello, tiny!” I say as I’m rubbing his fluffy head.

“That’s Soonie, it’s Minho’s cat.” I slowly turn around to face Han, my face holds so many emotions and I can see he’s feeling those emotions.

“Don’t look at me like that Jess. I know how you’re feeling but maybe you should let him talk to you.” Rage. Rage is all I can feel right now. Soonie jumps from the sofa he was sitting on to go somewhere else.

“I don’t want to hear anything he has to say, he already said enough a year ago. Don’t you remember?” I spit out my words. I can’t believe he’s saying this to me, he saw how bad Minho made me feel, he was there. I thought he was on my side.

“He’s changed, he’s trying to be a better person.” I roll my eyes at his words “I do remember, but he’s also my friend. He was not in the best place and that doesn’t justify what he did, but at least let him explain.” He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not my place to talk about this, this is between you and him. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Jess.” He comes closer and hugs me.

Tears start forming in my eyes and I start crying, I have too many feelings right now to know how to manage them. I just want to go home, get in my bed and curl into a ball.

“Thank you.” I sob.

He separates from me without breaking the hug. “For what?”

“I don’t know, for being here.” I keep silently crying. “This has been too much for me, I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

The day of Yuna’s party arrives and we’re all very excited. I’ve been feeling so much better after going to Han’s. We ended up talking about a lot of stuff and spending the rest of the day together, and I felt so much better after getting everything out of my chest. Since then, we have been keeping up with each other more, I’ve been to his house more often and I’ve hung out with the boys. All of them except Minho. The third time I went to their house I started to wonder where he was, because it was weird how every time I was there he mysteriously was missing, I mean, is still his house and I thought I would come across him there.

Since that day I’ve been thinking about what Han told me about Minho, not believing him that much. Not wanting to. But the thought that he might actually have changed never left my mind. What if Han was right? What if the boy I felt for was really there? I think subconsciously I didn’t want my feelings hurt again and that’s the reason why I didn’t want to believe Han. But deep deep inside I wanted to.

The party was going to take place at Yuna’s place, so we get there two hours before to get everything ready. Lia and I start placing all the decorations while Yeji and Ryunjin take care of the food and drinks. Chae makes sure to take Yuna out of the house to buy a nice birthday dress and get her hair done. Yuna wants to be the prettiest girl at the party, she wants to impress Jeongin even more. Since the last party they’ve been hanging out together more than usual, and we tease Yuna so much about it. Just like the boys tease Jeongin.

After the place is all decorated and everything is ready for the party to start, Chae and Yuna arrive there. We then start getting ready just like we used to do when going to parties, blasting our favorite songs, and having a fun time together. At nine o’clock people start arriving to the party, Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix being the first ones to arrive. As time goes by more and more people start coming and we start drinking.

“Hey!” I turn around just to see Han and Changbin coming to the kitchen, where I was alone, refilling my cup. “Jess!” Changbin hugs me. He smells like alcohol and cologne. Han goes straight where the drinks are and starts refilling his drink and Changbin’s.

“Don’t you think he’s had enough?” I ask Han, pointing my head to Changbin. Han shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” He gives me a side hug after Changbin releases me.

I nod while sipping my drink. “I’m doing amazing. I’m having fun with my friends.” I sip my drink again. Well, maybe I’m also a bit tipsy.

Changbin goes back to the living room, Han and I stay in the kitchen for a bit longer, talking and laughing. I don’t really know what joke that I’m laughing about, or if I even understood it. But I’m having so much fun with him.

“I should probably go back with my friends.” I say between laughs. He simply nods and we both go back to the living room.

For the next hour I dance with my friends to every song playing, we take pictures, laugh and in that moment, I feel like I went back to last year when I became friends with them, and we will all go to all the parties that we got invited to. I’ve missed this feeling.

“I’m going to the balcony; I need some air.” I shout to Yeji, and she gives me a thumbs up as a response.

I try to get through the people to get to the balcony and once I get there, I see someone is sitting in one of the chairs there. I don’t pay much attention to who is it and I sit at the other end of the balcony. After a few minutes sitting there, relaxing, I feel the boy that was sitting there come closer to me.

“Hey.” He says in a soft voice, and I immediately recognize him. I slowly turn my head up to look at him just to confirm my thoughts.

“Minho…” I keep looking at him.

“Please before running away, I want to talk to you. You don’t have to answer, you don’t even have to listen. I just need to get it out of my chest.” He looks devastated, and I don’t know if it’s because of what Han told me or if it’s because I’ve been drinking all night and I’m letting my guards down. But I decided to give him an opportunity to talk. He sits next to me.

“Go ahead.” I turn my head back front and keep looking at the view. I don’t want to look him in the eyes while he talks.

“Uh… I… I just want to start saying I’m sorry.” He stops for a few seconds; I look at him for a brief moment and he’s also looking forward. “I’m sorry for what I said that night, I shouldn’t have told you that, it was so mean and I’m really sorry.” I hear him taking a deep breath. “I didn’t even mean those words I said, I wasn’t thinking. And I don’t want to justify myself for what I did, I just think you deserve an explanation.” I turn to look at him, my heart wanting to give him an opportunity, wanting to believe he had actually changed. But my mind is still resistant to believe it. “I wasn’t in the right place mentally and the alcohol didn’t help. I was being mean to everyone, and I wasn’t realizing it. Not until it was too late, and I hurt you.” I see a tear going down his cheek, my first instinct is to hug him, but I retract myself and I don’t do it. “All the boys talked with me that night and at first, I didn’t want to believe that something was wrong with me and that I was hurting people who loved me. After arguing with everyone, Han was the only one that kept trying to make me come to senses. And after a few weeks I reached out for help and started seeing a therapist. I’m still trying to be better, and that’s why I needed to apologize.”

We stay silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say or do. He then looks at me and my heart hurts, I’ve never seen him like that. His eyes are red and swollen and tears are coming down nonstop. I feel bad for him, I don’t know what he has gone through or what got him into the place he was last year, but now I know it must have been hard for him.

“You don’t have to forgive me but thank you for listening to me.” Minho gets up from the chair and starts walking to the door.

 “Wait!” I get up from the chair and try to stop him from going back to the party. “Thank you.” We keep looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds, just before I break eye contact and get into the party again.

I don’t know how to feel, I don’t feel rage anymore, I even feel sorry for him. I’m starting to understand why he acted how he did, that doesn’t mean I forgave him, but at least I feel better after he apologized.

The last few weeks I’ve been meeting up with Minho and talking more with him. I’ve seen him more often at the house when we went there to hang out with the boys, and we’ve been talking about everything. It’s like we went back to the beginning of last year, but better.

Since Minho had started seeing a therapist, and he had progressed, it made things way easier. He would communicate his feelings and if he wasn’t having a good week, he would just say it.

And that led us to going out on a date. It all started because he invited me over to watch Felix, Hyunjin and him filming a dance they had to do for a class project.

“You’re staring.” I snap back and turn my head up to look at who was talking to me. Turns out it was Hyunjin that was taking a water break. “You can’t keep your eyes off him, right?”

I really couldn’t, he looked so good while dancing that I couldn’t stop staring. My brain was going numb watching him dance and I was having many thoughts I’ve never had about him before.

“You like what you see?” Minho smirks. I didn’t hear him coming where we were. He sits next to me and grabs his water bottle. I smack his arm in response.

I see Hyunjin leaving to join Felix at the other end of the room.

“We should go on a date.” What. I turn to look at Minho. I can’t believe he’s asking me on a date.

“Huh?” That’s all I can say.

He looks at me and smiles, “do you want to?”

Well of course I want to! But it caught me by surprise, and I don’t seem to find the words to express it.

“You can say no if you don’t want to.” He smiles. His stupid smile is making me not think straight.

“No! I mean yes! I do want to.” He laughs. “Don’t laugh!” I smack his arm once again.

I lock my phone and start getting ready for the date. I open my closet and stare at it for a good five minutes, not knowing what I should wear. We’re going to go to a restaurant for dinner, it’s not a bougie restaurant but I still want to wear something nice, but I don’t want to be overdressed. I end up choosing a cute but cozy outfit, I’m going to be wearing a nice black pleaded skirt with a white turtleneck. Since it is cold outside I’m wearing a pair of warm thighs and a pair of white leg warmers covering the black boots I decided on wearing.

I finish the final touches of my hair and makeup, grab my purse and go down the stairs of my building, since Minho has just texted me, he’s waiting for me outside.

As I’m going down the stairs, I start to feel nervous. It hasn’t hit me until now, seconds away from meeting him, that we’re actually going on a date. I check myself once more in the mirror that’s on the hall of the building, before going out.

What should I do? Do I hug him? God, I feel so nervous. “Hi!” He turns to look at me and immediately hugs me. He smells super nice.

“Hi. You look amazing Jess.” He separates himself from me. He looks so handsome. “Let’s go?” I can feel he’s also a little bit nervous and weirdly that calms me down a little.

The walk to the restaurant feels a bit awkward since none of us is saying anything. Once we arrive at the restaurant, we go to the table they’ve assigned. It’s a really nice restaurant, it looks fancy. We order our food and when the waitress leaves our table, make eye contact, without saying a word.

“Hey.” I chuckle. “Are you good? Is everything okay?” He nods.

“I feel like if I talk this moment will vanish.” He says softly and I blush at his words.

“I won’t go anyway.” I giggle and look down.

Why i’m i feeling so shy? I’ve gone on dates before and I liked other people but no one has made me feel like he’s making me feel right now, and he doesn’t even know it.

After that the date goes smoothly, jumping from topic to topic, laughing and enjoying our meal. As the time passed we started to feel more relaxed and more comfortable with each other.

I can’t keep my eyes off him, he looks so handsome, all I want to do is run my hands through his silky hair and hug him tightly. When he smiles he’s the cutest, he looks like a bunny and I can’t help but to smile back when I see him smiling.

We finish having dinner and after arguing on who’s going to pay he ends up winning. “I asked you on a date so it’s only fair that I pay.” He says while putting on his coat and I pout. We walk out of the restaurant.

“Can we go on a walk before going home? Please?” I ask, I don’t want this night to end, I want to be with him for a bit more. He agrees on that and we start to walk in no specific direction, wavering around the dimly lit streets, enjoying each other’s company without pronouncing a word.

His hand brushes against mine twice before I decide to take the lead and hold his hand. His thumb starts rubbing circles on the back of my hand. I start to feel my heart going faster at his actions. We keep walking for a bit, still in silence, until we both stop. At the same time. Like the universe deciding we need to take a step further. I look at him, having to look a bit up since he’s a little bit taller than me, and I find him already looking at me.

“Jess…” That’s all he says right before I stand on my tip toes and kiss him, just a little kiss on the lips. I couldn’t not do it, his look was saying many things.

Then he holds me by my waist and pulls me closer, my hands go to rest behind his neck, having to stand on my tip toes once again. I can only hear my heart aggressively pounding. I close my eyes as he makes me come closer to him, and our lips collide. I bury my hands on his soft hair. Finally. He licks my bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I pull his hair a little, earning a whimper. We separate after a while, when we feel like we need to breathe.

I look at him and I feel happy, like no one has ever made me feel before.