#and tumblr- i wouldn't post here at all if i had any number of followers

[wild-at-mind]

I hate leftist twitter discourse and all associated youtubers.

[magentagalaxies]

NOTE: the results of this poll will not make bruce join tumblr. he is almost definitely not joining tumblr (he barely knows what tumblr is even after i explained it to him twice today). however. since i'm close with bruce he will almost definitely hear about the results of this poll. so vote for which option you think it will be funnier for me to report to bruce like "hey btw kith tumblr thinks you should..." during our next zoom

[anxious-witch]

Results and analysis of this survey I did few months ago about the perception of Eurovision among young people. I know some people were interested so here it is. I couldn't post it sooner so it wouldn't look like I plagarised a random tumblr account so! Here we go. These are more or less directly translated from the research part of my thesis.

I apologize for any mistakes made since the whole thing, including graphs and tables were originally in croatian, and given tumblr format, it's bound to be messy.

The age of the participants was 18+ due to ethical rules, but most of the them are young people in the age bracket 18-35, precisely because the opinion of young people who cannot physically be present at the event itself is often ignored. The research question was "How do young people perceive Eurovision?", and the goal of the research was "To see what kind of view young people have of Eurovision, and what they consider its most important aspect, entertainment, politics or something else entirely."

Considering all of the above, the participants, who were 559 in total, were asked 22 questions through an anonymous online survey that was conducted in the period from March 21, 2024 to April 5, 2024.

From this, three hypotheses were distinguished before the actual research;

H1: Young people view Eurovision more politically than the older generation.

H2: Young people focus more on the performance and the message of the song than on the quality of the vocals.

H3: Young people think that Eurovision is a competition for the audience, not for the jury, and that the winner should be decided by the audience.

For the sake of transparency, most of the data is expressed in percentages and due to the amount of data, some of the questions are additionally crossed referenced and compared to see how they interact.

Graph 1 shows the age of the participants, which was important for determining the dominant age group. As can be seen on the graph, the largest number of respondents are aged 18-24, followed by 25-35, which corresponds to the aim of the research, as the focus was on the opinion of young people about Eurovision.

Graph 2 shows the gender of the participants, in which it can be seen that the largest number of them were women, over 65%. The data on the second largest group of respondents was unexpected, as over 20% of them declared themselves non-binary. This percentage was certainly contributed by the fact that the respondents received the survey via social networks, especially Tumblr, and considering that the topic is Eurovision, which is known for its openness towards the LGBT community. Men made up less than 10% of respondents, and the Other category referred to respondents who either did not want to share information about their gender identity, or their gender identity was not part of the first three categories.

Table 2(changed it to graph here because of tumblr) shows the countries from which the participants come from, and this answer to this question was open, that is, the participants had to write it themselves. To make it easier to navigate through so many different answers, they are presented in a table.

Table 2 shows that the majority of respondents are from the UK, Finland, and Germany. USA and Croatia. The number of responses from Finnish respondents is at least partly caused by last year's competition, where their representative was the crowd favorite. As for the large number of respondents from the USA, it can be assumed that with the inclusion of voices from the rest of the world, they became more active in the Eurovision virtual spaces last year.

Graph 3 shows the answers to the question "Are you part of the LGBT community", where participants could answer with "Yes", "No" or "Other" in case they did not want to declare themselves.

As shown in Graph 3, it can be seen that the percentage of respondents who are part of the LGBT community is also influenced by the collection of data from social networks where the LGBT identity is more pronounced, but it does not deviate much from the Eurovision name "Queer Olympics". This is also important information that can be obtained through an anonymous survey, as most of the previous research was conducted on respondents from live events, so this question was often avoided due to doubts about the sincerity of the answers. Thus, over 80% of respondents identify themselves as part of the LGBT community, which confirms previous research on the importance of connecting with other queer people through ESC as an event.

Graph 4 shows the answers to the question "Do you watch Eurovision" where there were three answers; "Yes", "No" and "Ocassionally".

According to Graph 4, it can be seen that the majority of respondents (over 70%) watch Eurovision regularly, while another 23% watch it occasionally, probably depending on external factors. Only 6% of respondents do not watch Eurovision at all, which is logical in the context of solving the questionnaire about Eurovision itself.

Graph 5 shows the three associations the participants had to Eurovision. Sets of three words each were divided into positive, negative and mixed associations, and for the sake of simplicity of presentation, thus entered in the graph. It should be noted here that the majority of respondents still have positive associations related to Eurovision, while slightly less than 17% have negative associations, and only slightly less than 2% have mixed associations. It is also important to note that each association was separated before sorting, so it is possible that someone had both positive and negative associations that were added to one or the other, but if the separate ones were not in a mixed category, then they were not added.

The full question for participants was to choose from 30 songs in the last 10 years (with 3 answers offered for each year) who they thought won that year. The real winners each year are highlighted in yellow in Table 3.

Regarding the recognition of winners in the last ten years, Table 3 shows that the majority of respondents knew the winners. However, it should be taken into account that these are respondents who mostly follow Eurovision regularly, and for this reason every artist who was not the winner that year and has more than 10% of the votes is relevant. This group includes Zlata Ognevich from 2013, Dami Im from 2016, but also Sergey Lazarev from 2016 (most likely because the predictions were in favor of Russia that year, and Austria was the original audience favorite), Kristian Kostov from 2017, and Käärijä from It will be in 2023. Therefore, it is important to look at this table with the predictions of the winners for each year, and to compare it with the difference between the votes of the jury and the audience, but every passing of 10% in this survey is significant.

The full question for the participants was; Did the backstage content (i.e. preparties, interviews, socializing between contestants that is published on social networks) influence their decision on who they voted for. Answers were offered on a scale from "It had a lot of influence" to "It had no influence at all".

Considering the fact that Eurovision organizers invest a lot of money and time in the organization of content even before the competition itself, especially in their famous preparties, it is relevant to see that according to Graph 6, as many as 37% of respondents admit that watching this content directly affects who they vote for, although it is to a lesser extent. Of course, it should be taken into account that 31% of respondents are not influenced by this content at all in their decision to vote, but if we add neutral respondents and respondents who were not influenced by this content, we get about 53%. On the other hand, the total number of respondents on whom the content had an impact in general is about 47%, which means that the content is still quite relevant and good marketing for Eurovision itself, but also for the contestants.

The question for the participants was what they perceive as the main point of Eurovision. Answers to this question were offered, but respondents could also add their own answer. The responses "A mixture of more than the above" and "Political/economic gain" were written by respondents.

According to graph 7, most participants believe that the main point of Eurovision is entertainment (36.31%), and almost the same number think that the main point is for the competing countries to unite around something fun through the competition. While only about 8% of people think that the political and economic part is the main point of the competition. Considering the age of the respondents and the fact that many say that Eurovision is a very political event, it seems that most still focus on the main point as a kind of entertainment and unity between countries.

Graph 8 shows the answers to the question "What should voting look like?".

The answers confirm one of the set hypotheses, which is that young people think that deciding on the Eurovision song should have primarily been the decision of the viewers who vote, and not the jury. It should be noted that the answers offered to this question were "Only viewers should be able to vote", "It should be half-and-half", "There are different winners for the jury and the audience" and "I don't know/Neutral/On my own". In other words, the answer that both of them vote, but that the votes of the audience have more weight, is the answer that 20.57% of respondents wrote under "Other" in different forms.

The question shown in Graph 9 was what participants think the current Eurovision slogan is. There the answer was open and they had to write it themselves. Graph 9 shows that the majority of participants know the Eurovision slogan, which coincides with the number of respondents who regularly watch ESC. It is important to note that for the first time the slogan is the same as last year, which certainly contributed to the respondents' accurate recall of the slogan, which was the goal of the organizers when they decided on this move.

The question presented in Graph 10 logically follows on from the previous one, where participants had to answer which slogan they think best describes the idea/meaning of Eurovision as a brand. In Graph 10, it can be seen that the majority of respondents also agree that the current, permanent slogan of the ESC is the most suitable for representing Eurovision as a brand. Here the answers were already offered, and the slogans offered to the respondents were those that had been used in the last ten years, most of which alluded in some way to community. "United by music", however, incorporates both music and togetherness in one slogan, and it seems that it is precisely because of this that it is memorable and easy to associate with Eurovision.

In Graph 11, participants were supposed to express their general opinion about ESC. Here the answers were also offered on a scale from "Very positive" to "Very negative".

In Graph 11, it can be seen that the opinion of the respondents is mostly positive, over 50%, and even 22% of them are neutral about the view of ESC. Given that these are respondents who mostly watch Eurovision regularly, the assumption would be that their opinions are more polarized, either to one side or to the other. However, through the questionnaire, it can be seen that respondents gravitate more towards "predominantly positive/negative" when the more accurate answer would probably be "strongly positive/negative" when comparing their answers with the other associations and answers provided. When the divisions are narrowed down to positive/negative/neutral, the ratio of positive view of ESC is even more prevalent, and despite a lot of talk about political aspects and contest rigging, less than 1% of respondents have a very negative opinion about Eurovision.

In this question, participants had to answer what they consider the most important part of the contestant's performance, which is shown in Graph 12. This question touches on another hypothesis, and from the answers received, that hypothesis can neither be fully confirmed nor rejected. The answers confirm that the performance is a very important aspect, as predicted in the hypothesis, but the second most important aspect for the respondents is the melody of the song itself, which we assumed would not be so important and that the message of the song would be more important, which is not the case with the respondents . It should also be noted that the answers to this question were again only semi-structured and the respondents could write their answers. "A mixture of all of the above" and "Be a special feeling" are answers that were not offered, but were included by the respondents themselves as their answers.

Graph 13 shows participants' answers to the question of whether they prefer competitors from neighboring countries. Answers were offered on a scale from "Yes, I strongly prefer songs from neighboring countries" to "No, I never have a preference for songs from neighboring countries".

This question was relevant due to the media's frequent reference to the preferential voting of certain countries for their neighbors. The respondents show that this is a rare case, and that only about 11% of them had preferences for neighboring countries. This also coincides with the selection of the song for its performance, as most of the similarities between neighboring countries come through the melody of the song.

This question showed for how many participants the contestant changed their view of the country they represented, which is shown in Graph 14. The offered answers to this question were only "Yes" or "No". There are several studies on Eurovision as a mega-event and an event through which better diplomatic relations can be achieved. (Zahavi, Ariely, 2024) It can be seen that here the distribution of influence is more balanced, but almost 60% of respondents, most of whom regularly watch the ESC claim that their view of at least one of the countries has changed by watching their performance at the ESC. In other words, the large investment of countries in their representatives has its purpose.

This question is a continuation of the previous one, that is, if one of the contestants changed their opinion about a country, was it a positive or negative change of view. Answers are offered on a scale from "Strongly positive" to "Strongly negative".

As can be seen from the presentation on Graph 15, if the 42% of respondents who were not influenced by the competitors are put aside, the positive influence prevails again. However, it is important for which countries there are which impressions, for which reason these data were compared with the following question, which was: "If this influenced your opinion about a certain country, for which country was it?" Then we divided the countries that were repeated the most and compared the positive/negative impressions. For the sake of clarity, strongly positive/negative and mostly positive/negative are added together in the same column and put in percentages.

In Table 5, the data on the positive/negative opinion and on the countries for which the participants changed their opinion are cross-referenced. From Table 5, it can be seen that Slovenia and Finland are the countries most often cited by respondents as those whose opinion has changed to a positive one. Also, a large number of respondents left the country for which they had a positive change of opinion unspecified. It is important to add the popularity of Finnish and Slovenian competitors from last year to the very context of the analysis. As for the negative impression, it is evident that Israel is in the lead, even though 4.29% is still much lower than 11.45%, which is the biggest positive impression, that is still important data. It is an important fact that despite the large investment, Israel has such a negative level of impression, especially as the main sponsors of the ESC. However, this can be added to the hypothesis that young people still see Eurovision through its political aspect, and that the recent conflict between Israel and Palestine has only increased this negative view.

Graph 16 shows the answers to the question of how many respondents discovered a performer through Eurovision, and that they continued to listen to him after Eurovision. From Graph 16, it is clear that this was exactly the case for over 90% of respondents. The answers offered were only "Yes" or "No".

Table 6 shows which performers the participants continued to listen to after Eurovision. The answer to this question was free, and most respondents answered with more than one contractor.

These answers also confirm that positive impressions about the country are closely related to its representatives and fans who follow them even after Eurovision. Here again, you can see the huge influence of the Finnish and Slovenian representatives from last year, who greatly raised positive impressions for those countries. Måneskin also greatly raised the rating of Italy after his victory in 2021, but it should be taken into account that after a few years, fans of a band or an artist have a smaller association of them with that country. It should also be noted that many of the aforementioned artists are not winners, and many of them were not even in the top 3 at Eurovision itself. From this, it can be concluded that there is a difference in what is considered a Eurovision song, and what the interviewees consider in their everyday life to be the songs they want to listen to.

Graph 17 shows the answers to the question about what the participants think about the direct passage of the "Big Five" to the finals. Answers were offered on a scale from "Strongly positive" to "Strongly negative".

From the answers shown in Graph 17, when separating the answers into only positive and negative views about having a direct passage to the final, it is evident that about 55% of respondents have a negative opinion about it, and slightly less than 40% a neutral opinion. This confirms again that the majority of young people do not have a positive opinion about the privileged position of some countries, which is a direct influence of politics.

Graph 18 shows the answers to the question "Do you plan to boycott watching Eurovision this year" with the answers offered "Yes", "No" and "Maybe/I haven't decided yet." Here, of course, it was meant boycotting specifically because of the participation of Israel and the current conflict between them and Palestine.

The question about boycotting Eurovision was deliberately put last, so as not to affect associations and positive and negative impressions. The question could have been more properly asked in the form "Are you planning to watch Eurovision this year" as the word boycotting still came out as suggestive. As can be seen from the responses from Graph 18, more than 50% of the respondents said that they would boycott Eurovision, which does not fit in with the majority's positive impressions about the event itself, which we analyzed in the previous responses. In any case, this supports the hypothesis that young people view the ESC more politically than the older generation, as the majority of younger respondents were more inclined to answer the question about boycotting in the affirmative.

However, it was interesting to compare some of the responses with the respondents' decision to boycott. That is why in Table 5 we have combined the data of the General opinion on Eurovision presented in Graph 11 and the data from Graph 18 on boycotting watching the ESC.

Table 8 shows that almost 30% of participants with a positive opinion of Eurovision planned to boycott watching because of Israel's participation, while only slightly less than 10% of those with a negative opinion planned the same. It can be seen that this trend continues with other answers as well. The fact is that a positive opinion about Eurovision prevails among respondents, but almost 10% more of those with a positive opinion plan to boycott than those who plan to watch. For the same reason, data on respondents' viewing consistency were combined with their response on boycotting in Table 9.

Table 10 compares the age of the participants with their answers about boycotting. The percentages were taken from the number of each of the age groups, and not the total sum, as there were the most respondents in the first two groups, that is, from 18-24 and from 25-35. Nevertheless, this table is important to us because we can see a reconfirmation of our hypothesis that young people look at Eurovision more politically than the older generation.

Now, this is of course, very, very brief look into the whole thesis, without literature citation to back it up and without discussion because it's already way too long. That said, I don't wish to imply that people who said they are boycotting on the survey lied about it, I just thought it was an important look into why someone with generally good opinion on the event would decide to boycott and if age had anything to do with it.

If anyone has any questions, regardless if it has to do with smth being translated confusingly or about the data itself, please let me know! Also consider that this data, while it was overwhelming done via tumblr, also took participants via facebook and instagram and ofc people I know irl and people those people know, so this is not only tumblr mentality reflected either. Hope this satisfied everyone's curiosity!

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

[the-mandawhor1an]

Din and Maia's first anniversary! 🥳🥳

TLDR: Roleplay anniversary; Wolke being sappy; One shot/drabble in the end

Today marks the actual anniversary of @zaddymandalorian and I's Mando roleplay. I know I made a post 6 months ago but I feel like I should celebrate this actual milestone even more than the 6 months!

Also, yesterday was the 2,5 year anniversary of the 'Maia Prime' fanfic 👀

A whole year, it feels unreal, especially considering what our mousies have been through in this year 🥹 Family reunions, so many tears, both of joy and pain. Maia cries a lot anyway, we all know that. So many revelations (that are spoilers to the current state of the fic so I'm holding my breath)

What I can do however, because it's spoiler free, is give you a few statistics about the roleplay. For the number sluts.

Story-wise we're just now reaching the plot of BOBF, which means a lot of reunions are happening right now.

Sounds like we're slow, right?

WRONG

We're just yappers and live for filler content that sheds more light on their relationship and Maia's past rather than strictly following the canon plot.

We're now over THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS in, which, to put it into perspective, means, we've now written more than The Two Towers and The Return of the King COMBINED.

We're 1210 posts in, on average about 300 words per post

This means we average on 3.3 posts per day

(In the beginning we were at 9 per day)

but then again, back then we only had this one rp which isn't the case any more

Zaddy, I love you so much you have no idea 😭 As much as Maia loves her Di'kut, as much as Peachy kind of loves Grumpy (even if she refuses to acknowledge it right now) and as much as Aurelia will love Acacius. It feels kind of unreal that we've been friends for over 8 years now.

Another commission by @kenobiwanx is in the works, I can't wait to see what magic Gio will work this time around. It's Maia and Din but with a little twist.

What a year it has been in general. My Tumblr-versary is also coming up in a few weeks, and I have to say I'm so glad I ended up on here. There's so many people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. People I consider friends 🥹

@rivnedell @evolnoomym @guiltyasdave @djarins-cyare @djarins-wife

@immarocketman @roughdaysandart @penvisions @clawdee @notjustjavierpena

@jksprincess10 @toomanystoriessolittletime

(and probably a lot of people I'm forgetting right now)

And now, because I can't not sprinkle another fic in here, we're making Maia Prime have her little moment. I talked about her on Maia Monday, she is the first version of the character. The RP and also the Fic version of her (and Din, if we're being very particular) differ character-wise. You'll see what I mean.

Also, the narration is a little different, I was young and dumb okay.

So now, we're looking into how Maia Prime and Din Prime met.... (MDNI, blood and injury mentioned)

Anyone else would have left the planet by now. The bounty hunters became more thorough in their searches … and me? I was simply too stubborn to leave for a safer hiding spot. He would return, I was certain of it. If he didn't do it on his own volition, they would bait him, lead him back here. Ever since he escaped with the child, the Imperials had doubled their head count. This forced me to avoid the city center, stay in the outskirts where I was alone. Safe. 

Only rarely, as today was such an occasion, I went further inside the city. Information about the fight and the Mandalorian was sparse, but not enough to evade my curious ears. 

The presence of the Empire made me uneasy, but my task was greater than a little discomfort. 

Or great discomfort, as it would turn out. 

At this point my purpose was not clear, but I assumed it had to do with that little green thing. There was an undeniable connection I felt with this child, perhaps that also explained why I had found this Mandalorian all these years ago. He would lead me to my purpose.

The fight that had broken out last time the bounty hunter visited must've been because of the child. That had to mean it was somewhat valuable to the Empire. Perhaps it was a child of the force, like me. Of course the Empire would be interested in that. They could train and shape us according to their wishes, given they found us early enough. 

My fate mustn’t repeat. I knew I had to help them.

At the break of day Karga had left the city with two of his men, according to my slightly uncooperative source of information. Nothing a little convincing couldn't fix. 

Something was about to happen today. Maybe tomorrow. More and more Imps assembled in the city, positioning themselves in every nook they could conquer. Everything smelled of a trap and this meant danger for me as well. I should have left Nevarro behind a while ago; my stubbornness and curiosity getting the better of me, I stayed. And stayed. And hoped my persistence meant I would finally find the courage to cross paths with him properly. 

Troopers were scattered all across, causing me to transverse the city via the rooftops, sneaking past their watchful eyes. 

This setup meant trouble, but not for me if I played my cards right. I hid on a roof near the square in the city center, ducking behind a wall to get a more secure look at the scenery beneath me. The tension in the air was palpable, my heart pounded similarly to when the Mandalorians had ambushed the guild and I had stupidly made my presence known. But right now, no one cared to look for me. The guild knew someone was in the city. Who I was didn’t matter to them. 

Karga returned around mid-day. I watched his every move as he led the shackled Mandalorian into the bar that functioned as the guild’s headquarter. An unfamiliar woman followed them inside, as did a hovering capsule. At first I assumed the child to be in there, but I didn’t sense it in there. Maybe the capsule was insulated in some way. 

What was going on here? 

I could not see nor hear what happened in the building, but I had a perfect view of what was happening on the square in the front. Troopers gathered and took position, waiting for an order, perhaps. I just assumed inside they were making some kind of deal, perhaps the Mandalorian was dropped off for a bounty. He probably had quite the amount of credits on his head. Judging by his skills I had observed last time, however, I expected him to have a few tricks up his sleeve. A man like him wouldn’t not put up a fight. 

Not knowing what was going on inside caused a little ache to blossom in my head. I couldn’t just barge in there without knowing what I would run into. Ultimately, I could ruin a perfectly curated plan with my presence, or my interruption. As fate would decide, I didn’t have to think about this any further. The Troopers outside covered the building with blaster fire, destroying the windows, the transparisteel shattering into a million pieces. From every alley more approached, an ambush, just as I had suspected. 

The impact of this trap would soon reveal itself as a TIE-Fighter drew closer and landed on the small square. Dust kicked up as the fighter touched ground, a small cloud forming. Someone exited the vehicle. Someone I would never have expected. 

Moff Gideon appeared, his black high-gloss armor reflected as it had just been polished before this very appearance. I never understood what the Empire found in black high-reflective surfaces. It was so impractical and quite frankly, looked odd in most settings. 

This surprise guest made me wonder.

What interest could Gideon have in a Mandalorian, more specifically in this Mandalorian? 

My educated guess was the child. My intuition must’ve been right about it. »You have something I want.« His voice was so loud, I could hear him perfectly fine even from my somewhat elevated hideout. »In a few moments it will be mine.« It? Did he actually talk about the child?

Silence fell over the square, a deafening, choking silence that reminded me a lot of my room in the facility. The only sound that was heard at this moment were some noises that echoed from inside the bar. A handful of Troopers began setting up an E-Web turret. This could only end badly. The commotion inside got louder, blaster shots hitting metal. »Your astute panic suggests that you understand your situation. I would prefer to avoid any further violence, and encourage a moment of consideration,« Gideon calmly explained, eyeing his men setting up the turret. When it was finished and loading, he continued. »Members of my escort have completed assembly of an E-Web heavy repeating blaster. If you are unfamiliar with this weapon, I am sure that Republican Shock Trooper Carasynthia Dune of Alderaan will advise you that she has witnessed many of her ranks vaporize mid-descent facing the predecessor of this particular model.« A Republican soldier? »Or perhaps the decommissioned Mandalorian hunter, Din Djarin, has heard the songs of the Siege of Mandalore, when gunships outfitted with similar ordnance laid waste to fields of Mandalorian recruits in The Night of a Thousand Tears.« My heart stopped for a beat. Din Djarin. That was his name. »I advise disgraced Magistrate Greef Karga to search the wisdom of his years and urge you to lay down your arms and come outside. The structure you are trapped in will be razed in short order and your storied lives will come to an unceremonious end.« 

The voices from inside the hideout were too far away and pointed in the wrong direction for me to understand anything, but judging by Gideon’s responses, I could probably reconstruct what they were asking. »Reasonable negotiation.« Okay, so they wanted to make a deal. »If you're asking if you can trust me, you cannot. Just as you betrayed our business arrangement, I would gladly break any promise and watch you die at my hand. I will act in my own self-interest, which at this time involves your cooperation and benefit.« Gideon waited for a moment, until he turned in one swift motion. »I will give you until nightfall, and then I will have the E-Web cannon open fire.« He retreated from the E-Web, but didn’t leave the scene entirely. 

Someone of his caliber might know who I was and that meant trouble. If he recognized me, maybe his plan would change to instead capture me. 

I should have left while I still could. But I didn't, I never did.

From the outskirts of the city the roar of a speeder moved towards us, the sound of blaster fire following suit shortly thereafter. A droid approached the city from the desert. Slowly I felt the presence of the child, growing stronger with every meter the droid got nearer. Did it have the child? The troops on the square were distracted by the commotion and turned to face the stranger. 

Suddenly, Karga and Mando ambushed the Stormtroopers, spilling out of the bar door and opening fire instantly. I found myself watching the Mandalorian for a moment, taking down a Trooper in close combat, completely hypnotized by the sight. He made it look so easy. My eyes only moved from him when I heard the droid drop to its knees. 

The Mandalorian noticed at the same time and ripped the E-Web from its mount and sprayed blaster fire into the Imperials. The Rebel Shock Trooper joined the shootout. Finally I regained control over my body and moved across more rooftops to avoid getting hit in the crossfire. I wasn’t sure a saber could block that kind of projectile and I was not trying to find out the hard way. 

Gideon drew in closer to the commotion again, shooting at the Beskar helmet to grab the Mandalorian’s attention. Mando was about to whip around with the E-Web still in his hands, when Gideon fired a round into the transformer and the whole turret blew up. 

»No!« escaped my lips before I could stop it when I watched the Beskar armor fly through the air, only to make hard contact with a wall. Djarin slumped over, clearly unconscious, likely concussed, possibly dead. My scream didn’t go unnoticed, as Gideon turned my way while I watched Karga and the woman pull the completely limp body back into the bar. It was terrible to see. 

»Well, well, who do we have here?« he greeted me with a sly grin. I jumped down the roof, saber in my hand, ready to use it. »Leave the Mandalorian and child alone, Gideon,« I said rather than answering his question. As it would turn out, I didn’t have to introduce myself anyway. »Looks like I’ve found a runaway experiment. Are you ready to come home, sweetheart?« He was distracted from the three in the bar, which was enough for me at the moment. I could deal with him, they could deal with the Troopers. 

»If you’re so concerned about the child, I’ll make sure you get to witness me taking it from Djarin’s cold, dead hands. Have you heard the noise his helmet made when it hit the wall? I doubt he’s taking more than his last breaths right now. How about we capture both you and the child, I will find some use for you.« He turned his head towards the Troopers, ordering them to burn them out. 

A Trooper equipped with a flame thrower approached the bar. The blaster fire stopped and I used this little moment of silence to feel for life in there. The child was there, but beside it was a weak presence which I assumed would be Mando. He was in pain and barely there, like a flickering candle running out of oxygen. The doorway was opened with a few explosives, through which the Flame Trooper could now enter. Then, something happened that Gideon had not expected and neither had I: The Trooper was suddenly engulfed in his own flames, reaching all the way back to his fuel tank, resulting in the detonation and death of said Trooper. 

I took the chance to retreat in the chaos to not end up being caught. I force-threw Gideon to the ground just in case. The Troopers were distracted. I felt the child and companions had made it out of the bar, somehow. Not knowing where the underground system would otherwise lead, I ventured out to the lava fields, assuming they’d go there to get out of the city. Part of the troops was sent into the underground system while the rest re-grouped at the lava fields. I circled around the city in a different route to meet with them. I kept my head low, not interested in actually being captured and put ‘to use’, as Gideon had called it. 

I hid behind some rocks to wait at the end of the tunnel leading out into the open. I felt the child close, sure they would surface soon. 

About a dozen of Troopers waited out here. I would be able to take down about 3, maybe 4, if I played my cards right. I snuck closer when the IG-unit emerged from the tunnel and before I could register that its self-destruct timer was running out, it blew up, the detonation throwing me to the ground, shrapnel shooting through the air. Something hit my head, I didn’t know whether it was metal, rocks, or parts of a Trooper. I might have fainted for just a second, I was disoriented and dizzy. 

Slowly I rose to my feet and walked forwards, only to be incapacitated by a stabbing pain when my leg lost footing on a loose rock. I looked down to my disobeying leg to find a piece of metal lodged in my groin on the left side. Damn. While the pain was manageable if I didn’t lose balance, this was likely just adrenaline dulling the pain to hit me with the mass of a star destroyer later. 

I barely registered the TIE-Fighter that Mando had taken down, nor did I register him being awake and more specifically able to take down a star ship with just a few detonators. The group of people stood off to the side of the TIE’s wreckage, talking. I couldn’t make out the words at first, but when I came closer I heard the Mandalorian speak for the first time. »– do you know who the woman was back in the city?« I held the wound with my hand, trying to stop the bleeding, with my cape pulled over it to cover it up. »That would be me,« I quietly announced, unfortunately not really graceful in my introduction. Mando turned and eyed me up and down. »Are you a Jedi?« he asked. If only I could think straight. Everything was spinning around me. »Something similar,« I replied, Karga also joining the conversation. »She has to be, I saw her light saber.« »Listen,« I pressed forwards, touched my forehead with my free hand, feeling blood on my finger tips. How many wounds were on me that I wasn’t aware of? 

It was bad. »I’ll tell you everything you need to know, but I need your help first. I got injured.« He exchanged a look with his allies, then looked back to me. Judging by the position of his helmet, he eyed the gash on my hairline. 

Mando checked his vambrace and sighed with his whole body, shoulders drooping and back arching. »Are you afraid of heights?« »Not that I would know.« »I can fly us to my ship if you can’t walk. But I have to be sure you don’t pass out.« »I think I can manage.« 

I had expected more resistance, more hesitation to just help me, a complete stranger. 

He handed the child over, forcing me to remove my hand from my wound, inwardly apologizing to the small green thing for having to hold it in my dirty hands. all it did was look at me with its gigantic dark brown eyes. It seemed weaker now that I could sense it so clearly, what had happened? 

What also didn’t register was when Mando had picked me up onto his arms. I was hypnotized by the large dark orbs staring into my soul. »Are you ready?« his modulated voice tore me back to reality. I nodded carefully. »Are you sure you have enough fuel?« »Yes. Hold onto the child.« 

And we were off. 

_______________________________

Some time later we landed next to the Razor Crest, one of the side ramps lowering for us to enter. I could barely walk at this point but held it together to not let lt show. »The child has to sleep, put it in here,« the Mandalorian ordered while pointing into a little cot, a makeshift bed made out of a small med-bay, it seemed. I sat the child down onto the bed, he subsequently closed the bay door with a click on his vambrace. His helmet nodded in the direction of a small ladder. »I have a medkit up in the cockpit. Careful, you might have a concussion.« I had to use both hands to climb up, tried to distract myself from the pain by asking him »what about your head?« He waited for me to reach the top of the ladder until he replied. 

»IG-11 had bacta and used it on me.« He followed me up the ladder. »I’ve never heard of an IG unit that wasn’t a bounty hunter,« I said while I stumbled towards the cockpit, leaning against every wall I could reach. My vision was blurring as I slumped into the passenger chair, the impact sending sharp pain through my spine. My senses were blocked for a second, but his helmet shot into my direction, I must’ve moaned in pain just now. 

»He was a nannybot for the child. I am its protector, so I had to be saved,« his voice was low and a little softer now we were in such close proximity. He kneeled next to the seat and wiped over my forehead with a cloth. It felt nice to have something cold on my head. »Where’s your injury?« He was so close, I could hear his voice underneath the helmet. »It… should be under the cloth?« His scoff made me flinch despite not being able to feel the air he had expelled. »I mean the one that’s causing you to stumble around and smear blood everywhere on my ship.« I felt his gaze burning into me despite the helmet hiding his eyes from my view. My heart was pounding into my ears at this point, either due to the blood loss or his intense stare. My head rolled a little to the back when I pulled my cape back to reveal the metal that was stuck in my groin. His helmet dipped down and it felt like eternity passed before he had assessed the situation. »I’m… not sure I can fix this. But the child can,« he said and shot up, going to the ladder before I could even react. »Mando…« I called after him, my head rolling to the side along the head rest. I saw his shoulders tense for just a second when he halted and turned to me. »I can do that too. Give me some rest, we have to get away from here first. There’s too many Imps out there.« He looked at me, took two shallow breaths, then walked over to his seat and growled. »Don’t fall unconscious.« 

Despite wanting to stay awake, the forces on my body when the Razor Crest took off took me right out. When I awoke, we were somewhere in space, engulfed in darkness apart from the small lights on the cockpit. Mando had turned to me, two fingers on my neck to check for my pulse. »I told you not to do that,« he growled in frustration. All I could focus on, however, was the sensation of his naked fingers on my skin. They were scarily warm compared to my body. How much blood had I lost? 

»I have to pull the metal out, it poisons your blood. I doubt you or the child have any strength left to heal you. I don’t have any bacta. I don’t know if it even works on such deep wounds.« I might have been imagining this, but it felt like I could hear genuine desperation in his voice. I laughed softly. »Isn’t it ironic? The droid that saved your life is my downfall, injuring me lethally by self-destructing. If I had known I could’ve hid behind some rocks. Or a Trooper, at least.« He listened, despite me not saying anything helpful in this situation. 

I took a deeper breath. »There is another way, but you have to trust me.« »Tell me,« he replied instantly, leaning more towards me. »I’m not strong enough, you’ve said that, and we both know it. But you –« He interrupted me before I could even finish my sentence. »I’m not a Jedi, I don’t have your magic.« »The force connects every living being, even you. I can heal myself through you, it’s probably not comfortable for either of us and we’ll most likely pass out. There is no other way unfortunately, or I don’t see any other way. I know you don’t know me.« »You’re right, I don’t. Not even your name.« He leaned back, bringing more distance between us again. He laid his glove down on his thigh and sighed. Realistically, why should he trust me? I looked into the visor and spoke, »I won’t blame you if it’s too much of a risk, it’s okay. Perhaps I can deal with this until we reach the next space port and we leave the shrapnel in there for now.« 

Silence fell onto the cockpit. It was like I could hear his thoughts race, debating what to do next, until he fully turned towards me. »Tell me what to do.« I reached out both hands for him to help me up. My legs were numb at this point so I needed his support. I walked over to the wall and slowly slid down until I sat on the ground. »Sit with me. Fall’s shorter if we’re on the ground already.« Mando knelt beside me, taking his other glove off. »Don’t break my trust, Jedi,« he warned me, spitting out the last word like venom. As much as I despised needing his help, I had no other choice. This, or death. »Believe me, this is just as uncomfortable for me, Mandalorian. Pull the shrapnel out and then press your hands onto the wound. Hard. Trap as much blood in there as you can.« I closed my eyes and waited until I felt him hold onto the metal. I inhaled sharply, it felt like the metal was stuck inside my bone and every little vibration made my nerves go insane. »On the count of three,« Mando breathed. »One–« »Bastard!« As soon as the word had left his lips, he ripped the metal out with one strong pull. His hands were warm and pushed into my body hard, blood pooling in between his fingers and running down my skin. Tears ran down my cheeks, the pain was unbearable. I placed my hands on his and focused on my wound, feeling the energy that was flowing through his body. 

Why? Why did I have to put my nose in other people’s business? Why did I interfere and get myself almost killed? 

They were safe. They were unharmed for the most part. I felt the warmth of his body slowly transfer over to my cut, a sign it was working. »Maia,« I softly said. »What?« »You said you didn’t know my name. It’s Maia.« It wasn’t much, but I felt like it was a small gesture to suggest I had some trust in him. I was thankful for his help, that much was certain. The pain slowly subsided, dissolved into fatigue. Breathing became easier, my head didn’t feel as heavy, but my eyes refused to open. The last thing I heard was a »what the –« and the sound of metal crashing against metal. I lost consciousness not long thereafter to no one’s surprise. 

I awoke some time later, not sure how much had passed, but it couldn’t have been too long. My body felt a little better. Not entirely normal or well-rested, but I was alive. My vision was back to normal and I felt somewhat fine, not dizzy. Sleep would still be good, but I didn’t feel safe in here. As I slowly straightened my back, I felt a shoulder dig into my side and weight on my thigh. Looking down, I saw Mando slumped over, his head practically on my lap, inverted, his helmet dragged down just a bit by gravity. I knew he didn’t show his face, so the fact I could see the dark curls in the back of his neck meant I had to be careful, otherwise the helmet would just fall off entirely. 

Despite my sheer endless curiosity telling me to just take a peek, I grabbed the rim of the metal to pull it back up. He had to be a human, or a hybrid at least. My fingers grazed his skin for a split second. I lifted the helmet and his head inside it carefully until I could scoot away under him and place him down so he would not lose his bucket when waking up. 

The rag he had used to wipe over my forehead laid on the headrest of the passenger seat. I grabbed it and started wiping down all the blood-smears I had left on the ship on my ascent. 

A noise startled me when I had reached the bottom of the ladder, the child was awake and still locked away in the cot. It was fussing, understandably so, far away from the adults and probably in the dark. It took a moment for me to find the switch to open the door and then two gigantic brown eyes looked up at me. I sat down in front of the bay to be on its eye-level. It reached out its small hand and I offered one of my fingers for it to grab onto. 

Thankfully it could communicate non-verbally and could tell me a bit more. About him. He wondered where his protector was, who I was. I could feel a lot of pain, a repressed trauma, similar to how my past felt to me. He was a child, much younger than me, I assumed. I told him I wanted to protect him and the Mandalorian. Despite being a stranger, the little one could feel my intentions and seemed very relaxed with my presence. I owed the Mandalorian my life, why would I want to harm him or this precious child? »Maia?« I heard a voice behind me. »Step away from the child,« his voice had dropped an octave and sounded tense. I turned my head towards him and saw him brandish a blaster, pointed at me. 

The child let go of my finger, allowing me to get up slowly, my hands raised. Mando shut the cot again, locking the child in yet again. I kept my hands up, even when his blaster went back into its holster. »How long was I out?« he asked. »I can only guess, about an hour, maybe. I myself woke up maybe fifteen minutes ago. I just wiped away the blood and then I heard the child fussing in there.« 

Did my explanation matter? Did he care? 

»Up,« he ordered and nodded towards the ladder. I did as he told me, reluctantly so, and waited for him to do … something. I could hear his breathing underneath the helmet, he was furious. I heard him wash his hands before he followed me up into the cockpit. I just stood in the open space behind the seats, waiting for him to come up. It’s not like I could run anywhere, we were out in space. 

When he came to me, he closed the door behind him, leaving me and him locked into this small confined space, that now felt even smaller. He approached me, his body tense and broad, and all I could do was take a step back. And another, and another, until I felt the hull press into my back. What was his plan now? 

»Did you touch my helmet?« »No, – Yes, but not in the way you think.« I shook my head and looked into that black visor. Why? Why did I ask him for help and got myself trapped with him now? His hand leaned against the wall behind me above my shoulder when he asked »are you sure? I remember you pulling on it.« »I am. I pulled it back onto your head. You were slumped over, on my leg, and it was about to fall off. Neither did it look comfortable nor did I want to wait until you moved back and it would just fall off.« »And the first thing you do when I’m unconscious is go for the child, when I can’t stop you.« He came closer, his chest plate now slowly pushing against my chest. I could no longer walk backwards to avoid him. 

»Mando, please, just listen to me. Neither do I want to anger you, nor give you the feeling I would abuse your trust. I touched your helmet to keep it from just dropping. I did not see your face if that’s your concern. You just saved my life, do you think I would betray you right after that? Especially when I’m confined to a small space with you and no escape?« »I’ve seen you fight, don’t sell yourself short. I’m sure your sword and the magic can do a lot of harm.« »The force. Not magic.« »Whatever,« he growled and pressed me into the wall, pushing air out of my lungs, but not yet suffocating me. I saw my breath fog up his helmet for a second. I felt his breathing, I heard the air move underneath the helmet. I think I could even smell him, I was so close. 

»Promise you didn’t see my face?« »I promise.« »Good. Otherwise I would’ve killed you.« »Would that change anything?« »No. But it would grant me a bit of satisfaction.« He didn’t move, nor could I. I watched his helmet fog up a few times until I could muster up the courage to ask him »Mando?« »Yes?« »Why are you pinning me against the wall?«

Silence fell upon the Razor Crest, the only noise audible was the low hum of the engine and our shallow breaths. He was so close I could feel his heart beat against my chest. That or my own heart was pounding.»Do you trust me, Maia?« More silence. What was I supposed to say? I trusted him enough to ask for help and I hadn't been disappointed. But now, pinned against a wall, I was unsure what to make of it. He didn't move. »It doesn't feel like I have a choice but to say yes.«»You always have a choice.« I swallowed. »Will you give me some space to breathe if I do?« »Find out.«

I sighed. »Fine. I do trust you.«

»Close your eyes.«

That confused me. It took a moment for me to register what he said, another to process how he had said it. Reluctant but too curious for my own good, I closed my eyes, unsure what to expect. As soon as my vision turned black, my other senses heightened and I had a mental image form. His hand, still as warm as I had remembered, came to rest atop of my eyes, making sure I was completely blind. I heard a hiss and then some rustling until his chest pressed further into me.

»Call me Din,« he practically purred into my ear, his breath suddenly sensible on my skin, warm and close. His voice was unfiltered, deep and gravelly, the rumble in his chest sending shivers done my spine.

He had taken the helmet off.

What was he doing? Had he not threatened to kill me a few moments ago? To be fair, his hand covered my eyes completely, there was no way I would see his face unless he took his hand off. Still, what was he trying? I didn’t have to wait long for an answer. His weight shifted and I felt his beard scratching my face shortly before soft lips touched mine. 

Out of all the possibilities I had thought about – him killing me or even worse – I never expected him to kiss me so gently. To be honest, it was probably the only thing I was certain of not happening. 

And even more confusing was the fact that I liked it. 

My hand searched for something to hold onto in the darkness, finding his waist and gently squeezing him. I heard him gasp quietly. 

What was he doing? What was I doing? What were we doing? 

It couldn’t have been more than 5 seconds before he leaned back and our lips detached. He didn’t retreat much, I could still feel his heavy breathing on my skin. »Now we’re even,« he whispered as he leaned back further. I heard more rustling and a hiss before my eyes were uncovered. He moved away, finally giving me space to catch my breath. When I opened my eyes, he was back on his seat, looking into the vastness of space. 

[matan4il]

It's going to be an "interesting" time when Holocaust Remembrance day comes and suddenly tumblr is filled with posts morning the loss of Jewish lives 70+ years ago when they were celebrating the deaths of Jewish citizens months earlier.

What ever the case is let's make sure that we remind these people what happened on October 7th and what their reaction was, and that if they were in Nazi Germany they would be saluting to Hitler and destroying Synagogues just like the Nazis they hate so much.

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for this ask.

Honestly. I've already written about why a lot of Jews, on top of knowing that what Hamas did is the biggest massacre of Jewish people since the Holocaust, listen to the survivors of Hamas and are reminded of stories we've heard about those horrors. We see the similarities and we can't ignore them.

The people who have posted or reblogged justifying the massacre of innocent Israelis absolutely remind me of Nazis, their collaborators or just your typical antisemites, who justified the industrial extermination of the Jews (like FDR). This idea of, "I'm not antisemitic, but here's why those Jews had it coming," absolutely is antisemitic, even if those bloggers will never admit it, maybe not even to themselves.

And then we have the silent majority. Back in the days of Nazi Germany, they might not have saluted the Nazis or destroyed synagogues, but they'd be the people whose silence enabled those who did. Anti-Israeli posts justifying the massacre, "providing context" by pushing an antisemitic narrative, which erases Jewish history, Jewish identity and Jewish rights, these bloggers are probably still a minority out of the overall users of Tumblr. But they feel free to reblog these de-humanizing posts, because they're not getting called out on it. They're not getting mass unfollows. They're not getting any signals that what they're doing is wrong. And I understand that on an individual level, it is scary to go against these blogs. Or it's too mentally demanding when fandom is an escapist space for most of us (I'm not judgung, fandom is very much an escapist space for me, too). But if there was a mass movement here, a big enough number of people calling this shit out, it wouldn't be as scary to do it, it wouldn't require as many resources (including time away from the escapist side of fandom), and Tumblr wouldn't be this toxic and full of hateful harassment towards Jews, even ones whose only sin on Oct 7 and the following days was to mourn their slaughtered people.

Never again IS NOW. And most people are failing at it.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[sunny-speaks]

Barista! Angel x Ren

hi hi <3! this is my first time posting on tumblr abt some of my favorite vns! To start us off, we've got Ren from 14DWY!! go check out the creator @14dayswithyou for more info about the characters!

You've picked up a job at Corland Bay! You thought about going to this one library nearby but you opted out when you heard a new cafe was opening up!

After all, coffee shops tended to be a meetcute in many books, who's to say that those are just fictional?

Things were a bit rough at first, you had your amount of rough customers, you had to get a hang of the machines, etc.

Soon enough, you got better and better at your job! You even got a pay raise!

Your boss is an asshole sometimes, but he seems to care a little.

But recently there’s been like this really cute guy recently who keeps coming on your shifts you've noticed.

Toiling away talking to karens, dealing with coffee machine malfunctions, your job sure is rough...

But luckily, this adorable stranger's here to make up for any mishaps!

(and every night lmao, when he goes to... eliminate anyone who bothered you at work)

He always chooses to eat your favorite things and always asks what you recommend everyday, such a sweetheart !!

"Wh-What would you recommend..." He pauses, his eyes averted from yours. They flicker up at your nametag before flushing at the name, the mere thought of saying their angel's name leaving him tongue-tied. "...A-Angel?" Little do you know that whatever you say goes through one ear and out the other, Ren far too focused in drinking up every image of you so he can commit it to memory. Maybe if you were a bit more perceptive, you'd notice the way he inhaled a bit deeper, leaned in a little more closer as you talked. God, was he glad that there weren't as many customers this early in the morning.

He always asked how your day was and tips you a little extra for your troubles

(You're kind of curious about where he gets all the spare cash from... But you're not arguing !! After all, it's more money to spend on Haruko merchandise !)

He’s so shy and gets so flustered around you, you just wanna reach over and pinch his cheeks.

"D'you want a drink with that?" Ren, who was just leaning his face on his hand, staring at your kissable lips, was promptly shaken out of his stupor. His face flushes, clearly not have expected to be asked something again. "M-Mhm! I-I'll let you choose, I'm sure whatever you choose would be delicious no matter what!" He enthusiastically nodded with a twinge of nervousness to his words. You let out a chuckle that sounds angelic to him before adding that to his order.

He always wants to find a way to spend some more time talking to you, he wants to keep you all to himself !

And he always hangs around until you’re done with your shift!! (you don’t notice him tho) but he’s waiting for the day that you do!!

He makes sure you get home safe, after all, we wouldn't want any creeps following his precious angel home, hmm?

He’s always on his phone, looking at photos of you through the cameras in the coffee shop while eating/drinking his order! His angel chose it specifically for him...

If he sees you gushing over a fictional character during your break, you can guarantee he’s going to start using subtly similar mannerisms.

If it's what gets you closer to him, then Ren wouldn't hesitate!

After all, he loves you so much, he's soooo patient for you to love him back !

So if you get the chance, won’t you pleaase write your number on his coffee cup next time~?

[doyouknowthischaracter]

Do you think the polls are inherently biased, because the well-known characters will be shared more wheras the unknown characters might never even reach their bubble where they are actually known by a lot of people?

Short answer is no.

Long answer is: well, if we want to be pedantic, an argument could be made that no method of collecting data via surveys, even self-administered surveys, is completely free of bias because that's just human nature and all you can do is minimize it by wording questions neutrally, trimming outliers, etc etc. With that out of the way, one very important thing to note here is that this isn't an opinion survey. The question being asked is very straightforward and the answer is not something that can be swayed or influenced by peer pressure, propaganda, unwillingness to disclose private information, or any other factors, be they internal or external. You either know a character or you don't. I mean, people could certainly lie, in either direction, but 1) why would you do that?? it's not even like we have winners or losers here, and 2) there's nothing I can do about it anyway.

Now, when it comes to sampling bias (which, from what I understand, is what you're actually asking about) my answer is still no, I don't think that's accurate. Popular characters will reach more people and get more votes overall precisely because they're more popular. If this were a tournament style blog or if I were asking your opinion on the character in question, then yes, I could definitely see how more well-known characters would be at an unfair advantage (or how tagging the polls with the character's name is encouraging that bias, as it's been suggested before), but this is not that! Well-known characters reaching their bubbles faster/more efficiently than obscure characters is an inherent part of being more popular. Everything is working as intended.

All that being said, there are a few factors which I think could influence results somewhat unfairly, but I wouldn't necessarily call them bias. They're more like limitations of the medium.

Firstly, the time and day of the week when a poll is published. I don't have access to this kind of data right now, but off the top of my head, I'd say Sundays around 10pm is when Tumblr users are most active. That, coupled with the fact that most users are from the United States, means that polls that come out of the queue on US Sundays during that time window have a chance to reach more people than all the others. However, this potential problem is organically circumvented by people going back to see previously posted polls, finding polls through reblogs or from tag searches, etc. So it's not really a significant difference. I haven't noticed the numbers reflecting this yet either, but in theory that's how social media works, so I thought it was worth pointing out.

Secondly, polls that were posted early on when the blog had fewer followers reached less people, on average, than polls being posted at the moment or that will be posted in the future. No argument there, that's just a fact. But, again, this is a limitation of the medium. Potentially, I could repost older polls at some point in the future and reassess characters' popularity, but how do I choose which ones? All of them? Wouldn't we just get stuck in a loop of reposting the same characters over and over then? That'd be no fun. So I don't really think there's anything to be done here, unfortunately.

Thirdly, meme-able characters will be see better engagement and consequently higher numbers of votes. Point in case, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Once again, not something that can be helped, not really. I do my best to maintain uniformity in how I format the polls and which pictures I choose (as high quality as I can find, cropped adequately, consistent size, etc.). But some characters will just have better chances of being shared around by virtue of featuring in memes or having some recognizable line or something like that.

To sum it up, overall I don't think there's an inherent bias in how the polls work at the moment. I do think there are certain factors that could marginally influence voting numbers, but not the votes themselves. (Which is why I've decided to compile two separate lists, by number of votes and by percentage-- they measure slightly different things, but that's a post for another day.) As long as every follower of this blog is delivered every poll to their dash and everyone pinky promises not to lie and screw up my numbers on purpose, then I'd say we're golden.

This is probably more than you asked for lol, but hopefully it all makes sense. And as always, feel free to share your opinion. I'm always happy to hear it!

[albywritesfiction]

Alby's Notes (#9)

Hello everyone! It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it? 😅

Well, time for us to take a seat and talk, ‘cause I’ve got some news for y’all. Dunno if this is going to be good or bad news to you guys, so I’m just calling it news

1. I’m not going to be very active on Tumblr, at least for the foreseeable future.

It has honestly been rather challenging for me to juggle acads, orch, personal stuff, writing, and managing this blog all together, so for the sake of my sanity, I’ve made the tough decision to take a few steps back from posting content here.

2. I’ll be closing the ask box for a while.

Since I haven’t been able to answer asks for a month or two, I now have a backlog of asks to go through. The number of asks I have in my inbox is rather overwhelming to me, to be honest 😅 And some of them are similar to others that have been sent previously, which I feel bad about because it’s like, wasted time, y'know, like, you wouldn't have needed to ask a similar question if i had answered the first one 😓

And some similar questions I haven’t been able to answer because they’re questions that I need time (and the brainpower honestly) to answer. 😓

So until I’ve cleared out my Tumblr inbox, I’ll be closing the ask box.

3. I’ll be shifting more towards using Discord

I’ve made a Discord server while I’ve been slowly chipping away at Chapter 1 Part 3 :) Special thanks to my lil bro @system-operations for being my guinea pig as I worked on and tested out the server 🤭

So, part of the reason why it’s been difficult for me to do stuff on Tumblr is because my access to it is rather limited now due to personal stuff; it’s nothing bad, don’t worry, and it’s not because I’ve been doing anything shady or illegal (I think it’d be the shock of the century to people who know me if they ever heard that I did something like that 😅). It’s just personal stuff 😅

I also think that part of why I’ve been overwhelmed with Tumblr stuff is because of the similar asks that start to pile up the longer that I’m unable to answer them, which is why I’ve set up some forum channels in the server where people can send questions and feedback and you guys can see what questions have been asked and which ones have been answered, especially without needing to wonder if I received your questions and answered them or not.

But the main purpose of this server is to provide a lil space where you guys can hang out and maybe interact with each other and with me :3 I’ve got a few things planned for server activities:

Game Night: We would play some of the games in Discord Activities and some other online browser games like Red Flags and Cards Against Humanity

Watch Party: We would watch some animes that are available on Youtube (such as Campfire Cooking in Another World [10/10 great anime in my opinion we stan wholesomeness in this household]) and Starkid musicals (the Hatchetfield trilogy is fire y’all), and probably some other Youtube stuff

Study With Me: Just popping into a voice channel and playing some music while I study helps me quite a lot apparently, so if that works for any of you who might join the server, it’s a-okay if you wanna join in :3

But of course, participation in these activities is very much optional! It’s okay if you’d prefer to lurk, I’m a lurker myself in most of the other servers I’ve joined 😅

However, I do want to make it very clear now that this will be an 18+ server, as it will not only be for ATE but also for the other IF projects that I have planned, some of which will contain content that is not suitable for minors. So just to be sure, I’ve decided to restrict the server to those 18 and above. Please, for any underage followers that I may have, do not lie about your age if you join because I will have to remove you from the server. You have been warned.

4. Now, going back to the Tumblr asks...

So now that I’ve laid out the stuff with Discord, you might be wondering what’s gonna happen with the Tumblr asks after I’ve answered the stuff in my inbox. Well, here’s what I’m planning to do:

Step 1: Compile all Tumblr asks into a Google doc 

Step 2: Add any Discord asks into same Google doc

Step 3: Share the Google doc for public viewing

Step 4: Re-open Tumblr ask box

Step 5: Update the Google doc as I receive asks, even if I’m unable to answer the questions immediately

This way, everyone can see the asks, whether or not you’ve got Discord or Tumblr, and the search for the asks is gonna be a lot more efficient! 

So long, Tumblr search, hellooo my old buddy ctrl/cmd+f!

5. And what about the Tumblr blog in general?

It’s still gonna be here, and I’m still going to post about significant updates to ATE! It’s just gonna be quieter once I’m done answering all the asks that are currently in my ask box.

So, yeah! That’s my novella of news 😅 I’ll be sharing the link for the Discord server in the next post so the link and the stuff I’ve said about it aren’t buried in the wall of text you just read/skimmed through. 😅

Thank you all so much for all the love and support you’ve had for ATE, and I hope you all have a great day/night ahead!

[savelockwoodandco]

Hi! Do you think the show has a good chance of being saved? It's been a month and 11 days since the cancellation and everytime I rhink about that it drives me crazy

Hi Anon, thanks for the question!

We've said a few times our feelings about the timeline, so I won't go super into-depth here, but we do want to reiterate that a month and change is not at all a long time for a show not to be picked up. Short of B99, shows just aren't picked up in their first month of cancellation, nor announced to be picked up.

This is going to be a months-long -- emphasis on the plural -- fight, but we are still fully confident that we're going to come out the victors. We haven't even hit a month and a half yet; these are early days. Let me state clearly again: we think the show has a great chance of being picked up, "even" at this stage.

However, we get that it can be discouraging, especially since in current culture there's a sense of "if it doesn't happen immediately it won't happen at all" that's rather pervasive, only getting more intense the younger the person in question is. That can make it hard to work towards a goal that doesn't have an end date and that'll take months.

So here's a fun little tidbit to keep our engines revved and moving: CF has been very, very quiet this last week.

Why is that a fun fact? Well, because CF has been relatively aware after the first week or so of the campaign with us fans.

On their Twitter -- which we know some people (Tumblr Mod included!) aren't really involved with -- CF tweeted the phrase "Nice Things" (their capitalization, not ours) with a piece of fanart. Afterwards, a tweet went around praising CF for their use of coded messages in Tweets -- which CF liked. Previous to this, CF had tweeted that they wouldn't try to trick us or falsely build us up, so this like had a number of heads scratching.

And since then, CF has been quiet.

There are so many reasons for a business to be loud on twitter -- it helps build their brand, they enjoy engaging with fans, they're having time between projects, etc etc. For a company as small as CF, it's likely that, unlike Netflix and other Giants, Someone from CF actually is in charge of the twitter, rather than a faceless intern. Many fans have theories on who it might be, but it's not the purpose of this post to speculate on that.

The important thing to note is that while there are many reasons to be loud, there's really only one reason to be quiet: they're busy.

Which is something very much in our favor.

We know that media business isn't something that everyone's interested in, so here's the facts: signing contracts for a show takes a long, long time. Signing contracts for renewing a show takes a long time as well. Meetings are scheduled, meetings to discuss those meetings are scheduled, both sides have to have separate meetings within their teams, then between teams, then company-wide, and then schedule follow-ups with the other party. It's a process and even if both parties (CF and whoever picks it up) agree immediately on terms, which never happens, contracts still have to be drafted, considered, debated, re-drafted...

It's a process, and we don't get to see any of it. Lucky for us, honestly, because it'd probably drive us crazy. The only thing we get to see is the end result -- the show being saved -- popping up like a bolt from the blue.

But we have to remember it's not from the blue, it's from weeks and weeks of hard work and negotiation. If CF is smart -- and CF is very, very smart -- talks of saving the show will include the ability to tell the whole story, whether that's negotiating for 2 more seasons, or for 1 season of ~16 or so episodes.

We have no say in contracts or anything like that for S2. What our presence does have a say in is helping out CF with negotiations. The louder, more passionate, more demonstrative, and yes, more consistent we are, the more negotiating power CF has. They have great numbers to present for the show itself, growing every day, but because of LockNation, they can demonstrate the ongoing market appeal of Lockwood & Co. That translates to the opportunity to earn more money and clout for whoever it is picks us up, and that puts CF is a very good position.

We're of the firm belief that the best mindset going forward is not "it's already been X amount of time", it's instead "it's only been X amount of time".

It's only been a month and 11 days.

The things we do help. The things we do matter. They will continue to matter as long as we do them.

So let's help our show out as best we can, and be cheerful about it. Take breaks -- please, please take breaks, or you'll go crazy -- and take care of yourself.

Good things are coming. Or, to use CF's words, Nice Things are coming.

[princesscolumbia]

About that [VARIANT] HRT thing...

If you're not deep in the thick of all things trans on Tumblr then you'll have seen the [animal] HRT that was spawned by the Dragon HRT series by aveydoesthings, then I feel sorry for you.

Seriously, go give her a follow and start from the beginning. There's TONS of inspired work that came from this, you probably won't ever find them all, but trying is worth the attempt.

If Dragon HRT were possible, I'd absolutely be mainlining that shit. I've felt draconic for so long I remember, just like when I realized I was a woman, learning that according to the oriental zodiac I was a dragon and feeling like that just fit.

No wonder I was so obsessed with the Dragonriders of Pern when I was a kid.

Naturally, since we're a system, I need to be taken into account here, so dragon-lady there wouldn't go full scaley unless there was a way for me to still be me. We're already crazy tall and gaijin, being a goddamn dragon might be a step too far for me.

...I wouldn't say no to having a cat's ears and tail, and the ability to purr...oh, and the fangs and claws!

Okay, therian...

In any case, a few months ago (about 2-3 weeks before we split into a system, as a matter of fact) I read a fic on Scribble Hub called "A Date with Faet," and...well...okay, some spoilers below the link. I'm not going to cut, because I want the whole post showing up, but if you like TG TF fics that dip into the hard weird, keep reading. Otherwise, skip the next section until the AO3 link:

In this fic, the protag discovers that she's a changeling, as in non-human. They're fae, and, in fact, turn out to be a fairy princess. Now, this is actually rather common as TG/TF fics go, and at first it appeared to be fairly standard for its type...right up until it wasn't.

Turns out the protag's adoptive father was also trans and the character that could have been a Mary Sue winds up with Herculean problems; they've got plenty of power, but will it actually be able to fix anything? Will this make things better or worse? What are the consequences of their actions?

This book/series takes a hard turn into the "𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕠𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕦𝕞𝕤" when, decades after being turned into a woman who's no longer actually protag's parent, dad-turned-mom-turned-cousin is once again asking to be changed, and this time she becomes protags daughter.

This particular bit in particular has stuck in my mind ever since. It's what works for the story, it's a completely natural outgrowth of the events that happened before, and what's more it allows the author to naturally insert someone who's a system into the fic. (You would not believe the number of fics I "stumbled on to" when I was incubating as the system we are now.)

The protag and their father/mom/cousin/daughter start out perfectly ordinary humans. In fact, they are, at first, rather desperate to cling to that humanity. But over the course of the story they, step by step, wind up being almost completely non human and, in the fae princess' case, periodically wielding power enough to transform reality to her whims.

And, of course, if you know me at all, the fact that this made things as emotionally/ethically/plot-wise/morally complicated as fuck just made me love it harder.

A few months ago I started penning "Like a Cat in Heat," which was a direct response to a smutfic that had a promising description but absolutely fell down on the execution that presented the question of, "What if a person had a distinctly inhuman trait? What if it was more like an animal trait?" I said, "Okay, how about that but if it was actually good? And what if it were funny?"

It turned out to be a fun little bit of flash fiction that I hadn't, at first, intended to be more than what it was. But then one of the readers dropped a comment and coupled with the last, closing lines that were intended to be just a silly little joke wound up spinning out "Dragon's Lair," which proposed the question, "What if 'the normal character' turned out to be a monsterfucker? What if that monster was as fragile as spun glass and the human was the real monster all along with the power to crush the 'monster' if they so chose? What if making the 'wrong' choices by 'society's' standards was actually the best thing for these characters and was the (morally/ethically/narratively)Good Ending™?"

Then I finished that up with "Smokin' Hot" which said, "...fuck it, full eldritch abomination! Fuse that main character with a kami! Main characters LOVE being fused with kami!"

I even have a scene where the MC is being burned alive to nothing and must trust that she'll be reborn from the ashes...

...so imagine my surprise when I found Eldritch HRT and the artist did basically the same thing in their comic, including the cocoon analogy:

( @dawning-mars - PHENOMENAL work so far, please keep it up, this series is wonderful and I can't wait to see where you take it! ...oh, and drink some water and make sure you're getting enough sleep. Burnout is the creative's worst enemy. Don't worry, the inspiration and the zone will be waiting for you on the other side. 😉)

And all this has reminded me, from reading "Date with Faet" to my own work to Dragon HRT and Fish HRT and Mouse HRT and Eldritch HRT...all of these are about people becoming their best self when they no longer conform to "normal" "humanity."

This is not a new revelation, of course. People have been identifying this phenomenon for decades, possibly longer. When the people we now call "queer" are targeted by fascists for killing, and when "normal" people can't be bothered to lift a finger in our defense, and when the "bad" guys in movies and TV shows are queer coded so heavily some of them are actually shown as being gay and in loving relationships...well, it's not hard for us to take a look at the options (do I conform and deny my basic nature and be miserable for decades, or do I commit to the bit and live a happy, if short, life?) and choose to become the monster.

And for those who wind up on this path, it doesn't feel like we're "less" human than the "normal" people. If anything, we're retaining what it is that, to us, makes us human, our sense of self, our agency, our individuality and identity in a vast, uncaring cosmos on a burning world filled with uncaring people. And once we've embraced that part of ourselves, the parts that we're told growing up make us monstrous and evil and inhuman, we look back at the humanity we left behind and see nothing but a faceless mass of conforming nightmares that wish us death.

We may be the monsters, but they are the Borg in its most pure, TNG-era form; uncarring, unfeeling, all consuming, faceless, mindless but the hivemind, and destroys everything it touches.

We embody IDIC, in our weirdness and our multitude and our refusal to conform. Resistance isn't futile, it's mandatory.

The collective sees anything that's different and seeks to force it to conform or erase its existence.

We bronies and furries and scalies and therians and transwomen and transmen and gays and bisexuals and systems and catgirls and dogboys and catboys and doggirls and eldritch abominations are the chaos of life. When someone says, "I'm...new, there hasn't been anything like me before," we say, "WELCOME BROTHER!" ("I'm a non-gender robot, actually..." "WELCOME SIBLING!")

Do you have a place to stay? About five people in the community have couches you can crash on...oh, you're good there? Are your bills paid? "Capitalism," amirite? How about medication? Can't get you your brain pills without a scrip, but we can hook you up with DIY HRT...oh, you're not planning on medically transitioning but you want top surgery? We can find you a list of places and the right people to talk to to make it happen. How about food? Here's a food bank near you...is your job treating you okay? No job? Let's get you resources to keep you housed while you're looking. Oh, that's your first art piece? Gorgeous! Magnificent! You've got a future...GAI'S, COME LOOK AT THIS ART THE NEWBIE DID!

Who's the monster here?

tl;dr - Maybe the real humanity is the eldritch abominations we made along the way?

[orbmanson7]

Logangstamatic FAQ

What the hell is a "Logangstamatic"?

It's mostly just a silly name for the Logan angst animatics I'm making for this project.

There are 26 of these?

It was originally dubbed the "Logan angst flashcard project" because I started out using index cards (like Logan uses) but then things changed and I had a lot of different formats and types of animation to work with, so "flashcard project" wasn't really accurate anymore... And I already often said "logangst animatic" so the abbreviation was born from there, I guess!

Anyway, here's the link to the playlist. Every new video will be added to the playlist as they release!

There will be, once it's all done! I'm only doing a minute or two for each song, so it won't take too long to make so many!

How soon will the videos be out?

There isn't really a set schedule, due to a whole number of factors (mostly my ridiculous work hours), but I intend to post a few every couple of months and I will do my best to give updates when I'm almost done with an animation before I post it in full!

I'll post both updates and the finished animations here on Tumblr, on my Kofi, on Twitter, and on YouTube! Follow me in at least one of those places to see those updates!!

In the meantime, if you don't mind spoilers, I have the full song playlist available to listen to over on YouTube! Feel free to check it out!

Are the animations only about Logan from Sanders Sides?

Uhh, technically yes? Logan angst, in general, is often focused on how Logan is dealing with both external and internal stressors in the series, so while he is the main focus in these animations, the other characters do show up quite a lot, especially Thomas.

Do all the videos have the lyrics on screen?

Yes! The 26 songs chosen for this playlist all have lyrics (though there is an extended playlist with plenty of songs that do not), so those lyrics will be displayed in some fashion in each animation video! Sometimes they are in the art itself, sometimes it's added in post, and there are some songs that are not in English so the translated lyrics will also be present in those, too. Each youtube video will also have the specific lyrics used in the animation listed below it in the description.

Are you getting paid to make these?

Not at all. I don't have anywhere near the numbers youtube likes to allow for monetization, plus nearly all of the songs I'll be using are copyrighted so they wouldn't be able to be monetized anyway. Regardless, all the work I'm doing for this project is just for fun, but I do have a carrd linked below if anyone is willing to throw me a little cash so I can keep making more stuff like this! (Don't feel obligated, though, I have a full-time job and am not in desperate need of funds, but anything that's donated goes right into making more animations!)

If you have any questions not listed here, feel free to send an ask and I'll get you an answer right away!

And, in case you're curious about more places to support me and my work, here's my carrd, with links to all the places I post art, writing, and other work!

[fuwushiguro]

𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

I'll try and keep this short and concise but you all know I talk too much lmao. I think I'm done w this blog and probably tumblr in general. I have nothing left to give, I'm exhausted and upset and I'm really tired of circling back to this so often. I haven't been interested in writing for a long long time but I get sudden inspiration to write and then choose to share and the lack of interaction is just so damaging. I don't think it would feel as bad if I hadn't had so many fics in the past get to like 1k notes or more, now I'm lucky if I get 30. And to be honest even then half of the notes are me boosting my own posts. It's just so crazy to think that my blog performs so poorly and has so little interactions considering my followers are a five digit number.

I do feel really abandoned and sort of shunned from tumblr and I wouldn't wish that on anyone personally. I always liked to think being on tumblr and having friends here was about supporting people and being kind but tbh it's not felt like that for a long time for me. I just have no desire to write, it's so thankless and disheartening.

I'm really enjoying doing art though even though that isn't doing well either. It actually feels a lot more worth my time to see a piece of art I've made with my own hands, obviously it would be nice to get interactions and stuff but it doesn't feel as hurtful when it doesn't.

It's just too frustrating at this point to keep logging in and seeing how poorly my stuff is doing compared to others. I don't doubt that there are others having a similar issue with interactions but I'm not interested in fighting a losing battle anymore, especially when I'm seeing other blogs getting like 8k notes on their fics and stuff. Not that those blogs don't deserve it! It just makes me think that I'm doing something wrong. All I've tried to be in my time here is nice and supportive. I love my followers and moots and the friends I've made and will always cherish but I think fuwushiguro is dead unfortunately.

Thank you all for supporting me for so long. It means a lot to know how many of you have stuck with me through everything and took the time to tell me how much you love my work and stuff, I'll never forget it.

Like I said, I'm still enjoying making art. I'll probably post stuff now and then over at @b-imbou if any of you want to support me over there. I have some other art socials too if any of you are interested feel free to ask. It'd be nice to keep in touch with you guys and keep sharing things I'm passionate about with you.

But, if not, thanks for everything.

Take care everyone!

Love, Luxe 💞

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Hello, I'm the factive who asked your husband how he was able to find peace in being open as a factive in a relationship with you. His confidence and insight really helped me feel validated and less ashamed of my existence. I also wanted to ask your POV being out as factive? And does it bring you peace and comfort to be where you are with your husband now than before? You don't necessarily have to share everything, only bits you're comfortable to share are ok by me.

I think, after all this, I wanted to be close or connected to other factives wherever I could find one. Just like you and your husband, me and my in-sys husband wishes to be ourselves and gush about each other without feeling too scared to speak our names out loud. If you find this ask relevant, thank you so much for taking your time in answering.

AAAA HELLO!!! OMG I totally forgor about this lol okayokayokay

YES I AM VERY HAPPY AND SECURE AND STUFF I am feeling very pog!!! 👍🏻 I do not have anxiety or anything anymore I am feel peace. And I am SO GLAD we are out? Literally best decision of my life. We r seen and we can be ourselves and it's so much better than hiding FORREAL FORREAL

So about the fear thing, I'm a tommyinnit factive so like.... There was a lot of fear when I first started doing my thing. Because the interactions I'd had with the DSMP community previously were...uh....bad!!!

Very bad!!! Like, doxxing people over shipping c!Tubbo/c!ranboo in a romantic way even though they were literally married bad !!!!!! Suicide baiting and shit bad!!!! And they also seemed to think that things like special interests and introjects were things you can control (even though they aren't) and would harass neurodivergent people who had connections to problematic cc's in that way, so the ableism was also spooky.

So I got it in my head that if I came out, especially as an alter in a relationship with someone else, it would be a BIG problem even if I wasn't vocally pro-rpf and anti-censorship because like. They would see my existence as offensive to source and also as "shipping" and then I would literally be hunted for sport and die. Like that's not an exaggeration that's literally what I thought, I had nightmares about people showing up to our house with guns because they found my Tumblr blog?? Which is.....very overdramatic like that is NAWT going to happen. HELLO???? My Tumblr blog with like 300 followers??? As if someone's going to purchase and learn to use a gun, find our real world address, travel all the way to it, and somehow manage to get to our house with a gun in their hands without being stopped, and then manage to get INTO the house without being stopped or spotted or bitten by the dogs, and then find us, somehow know which one of the people living here is us, and successfully both shoot and kill us??? GIRL NO. GIRL THAT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

But I was SCARED. So what I did, right, was that when I first made my blog and started posting? I took a page out of poppytwt's book and wrote everything with numbers and symbols and shit, (like this: "T0mm√1nn1+") And I didn't interact with any DSMP posts at all. I would see fanart and fun posts about my source or the characters and I wouldn't like or reblog because I was paranoid that OP would be mad at me, so I would scroll sadly by.

But I was still myself. I was still "Tommy" and I still explained that I was an introject, and in a relationship with Seán. And that was a big step!!! -even if I had to put a space between Tommy and Innit when talking about my source, and also spell it like I was a Homestuck character.

Eventually I dropped the censored letters because it was MAD annoying but I still used spaces liberally, and avoided referring to my source as anything other than "source" unless I like, HAD to. I also didn't make "Innit" jokes about myself, even tho I REALLY wanted to.

Then I started making the Innit jokes too, but only with spaces, and I started timidly reblogging fanart from people who seemed chill- I would read DNIs and intros first, but if I got the vibe they were chill with me, I would reblog. This was a BIG BIG step for me, and I remember at first obsessively checking for DNIs and if someone didn't have one at all, like my blog, I would either scroll through their blog to get a feel for their opinions or I would just leave- because I didn't want to risk interacting with someone who was weird about introjects or RPF or both.

And then people from the fandom...started talking to me. I made friends and acquaintances. And they all told me that basically, as long as I knew who to block, I was fine; and that the fandom overall had MASSIVELY calmed down since 2020 anyway, so the things I was worried about weren't even normal anymore here on Tumblr- only on twitter. And they sort of reassured me.

I stopped feeling the need to put spaces between "Tommy" and "Innit", and started using Tommyinnit casually, both in reference to myself and source. I went back to all our AO3 fanfics, which at the time had no character tags to avoid popping up in DSMP circles, and added the character tags.

Then I started actually making fanart just for source, not septicinnit, and even- gasp- TAGGING IT with tommyinnit. Same with liveblogging and posts about him.

And then I made even MORE friends as people realized my blog like. Existed?

It was a very gradual process for me, and if you need to go slow too, that's okay. But what I've found is that the things I was worried about weren't even really things I had to worry about at all. I didn't get much Anon hate, in fact over the last two years I think I've only gotten it three times.

once from someone who said I was faking DID because I had no friends and was mentally ill and depressed which. Hurt but also was kinda funny because they were being so ableist and mean to me? Girl you clearly don't care about systems.

once from a confused anti-endo who thought WE were endogenic because we have endo friends (and literally all they wrote was "traumas fuck endos suck" with nothing else??? LMAOOO?????? So thankfully that one didn't even hurt my feelings)

And once from a person who spammed a few poorly written asks because I was talking to my friend Kency and someone who didn't like Kency was going through their interactions and anon-hating people. They did have alt accounts that they came back with when I blocked the first ones but they only had like four so after I blocked the anons the fourth time, it stopped.

I was mostly able to laugh it off, and when I was sad, Seán and our friends/family were there to support me.

I ended up on r/system cringe, too, and I had a meltdown about that, but then quickly realized it didn't really matter? Again, no one was coming to my house. None of these people would actually hurt me, especially not when they do this all day and have no special malice for me specifically. If anyone showed up I'd just block them- and even weeks after the post, no one did.

Once someone posted a screenshot of one of our fics to twitter, and then people dogpiled us and we got some hate comments, but all it took was a friend pointing out that ao3 is a pro-rpf and proship/anti-censorship website for op to delete the screenshot, and everyone else stopped after that.

Like, what I've discovered is that as awful as cyberbullying is, it's only as bad as your fear lets it be. If you block them and if you remember to stay calm and that you're not in any physical danger, then it's not a big deal. It only hits hard when you panic, and even then you can find support from the people who love you.

Doxxing is of course another story but it's usually rare and also usually easily solved (delete the information) and also ... doesn't always lead to action. In order to have a hate mob swarm at your house your address can't just be posted, you also have to have a bunch of people decide, independently, to actually get off their ass and show up; and unless you're taylor swift that's probably not going to happen.

I can't keep a cool head under pressure, but Seàn can, and I've found that when we talk things out and work as a team, the threats usually aren't as bad as they look. And again, I've never been doxxed and my harassment has been very minor.

I'd recommend having one or more people in your life who are able to talk things through calmly with you and think clearly when things are a little hectic, to block anyone who bothers you or who looks like they might (because of their DNIs or past activity or whatever), and then to just...take the plunge. Because once you experience being out you're forced to realize that the negatives aren't nearly as harsh as they looked. The water looks colder than it is; you won't truly realize how warm and welcoming it can actually be until you're swimming :) I wouldn't trade this for the world 🌍💓 and that's FACTS, forreal forreal.

[alphabetboyluvr]

I read your work on Wattpad and I totally love you, but what I don’t like is the way you focus on read to vote ratios. You are literally the only author I know (and I follow hundreds of authors, some that could rival you) and you are the only one that cares about read to vote ratios.

I think it’s something you shouldn’t worry about because the read count isn’t even accurate because it also includes when the author reads the chapter themselves even while editing.

I know votes are important to authors, but to most readers (because I’ve asked some friends I’ve made on Wattpad) we don’t even look at how many votes a book has to make us want to read the story. We look at the description and how many views it’s gotten, not the votes, because we know votes aren’t a good representation of how good a book is because people can forget to vote or just don’t give out votes no matter how good the story is.

Your books have millions of views (regardless if some are proper views or not) and your books are always out there and they get discovered, and I think you’re a bit greedy with asking for votes- especially when you do those god awful vote goals in order to get a chapter out.

I’ve seen other authors do vote goals, and it makes me want to do the total opposite and not vote because you should be writing and releasing chapters for the fun of it because you like writing and want to update, not for the votes.

I love you and your writing, but I’d say the whole voting ratio thing is a flawed concern and does leave a few readers bitter with you. I know you probably don’t care, but I just had to say it as I saw your insta where you mentioned the vote ratio and it irked me coz like I said, you’re the only author that cares about it when you shouldn’t worry about it considering your thousands of followers and your millions of views

okay, a lot to discuss with this one!

so, firstly thank you for sharing your thoughts - discussion is always welcome, even if we have different views on the subject! and thank you for the kind words about my work, too!!

i will just say that pretty much all the fic writers i know on a personal level do, to some extent, care about the engagement on their stories. whether it be wattpad, tumblr or ao3, engagement is hugely appreciated for a number of reasons.

i know of a good handful of writers, large and small, who use vote goals - even if they don't outwardly state it, they care about the ratio. they wouldn't do the goal if not. that's what it's for.

i think it's also important to note that i don't do vote goals anymore and haven't done for quite some time. i tried them for a while, didn't like them, no longer do them - because i agree that they felt insincere and icky.

i don't hold my chapters to ransom - i think there's one instance in my 11 (!!) years on wattpad, and 5 years of writing for the tannies that I've delayed an update because a vote goal hadn't been met.

but like you say, views aren't an accurate way of measuring engagement. votes are.

to me, a vote is a considered effort that readers will make to say 'yeah, i liked this', without needing to comment or interact on a big level. asking for people who read hours worth of your hard work for free to simply press a little star at the end of a chapter isn't a greedy ask, in my opinion.

so why do i care about the ratio?

because when i used to look for stories as a reader, it was something i glanced at to see if the views aligned with the quality. a good ratio indicates good writing. it's as simple as that.

on a personal level - i don't actually care. it's not like i sit up at night thinking about it, or obsessively check my stats. i post chapters, read the comments, and that's about it. the vote ratio can be seen at a glance, and even though I'm bad at maths, it's an easy thing to compute lol.

this is the back end of bad decisions. none of the numbers make any sense, really. i'd go mad if i tried to figure it all out. so please don't think I'm sitting here obsessing over the numbers, because I'm not. i wouldn't be able to write if i was.

what i do care about is what you guys think of me. of course i care. i like to think i have a pretty good relationship with my readers, and so it does suck to know that something like this, which you agree is trivial, is enough to make you bitter with me.

i consider myself very lucky when it comes to my readers, but I've also worked damn hard to cultivate my readership. those millions of reads didn't come about just by chance.

it's kind of insulting when you see how much work i put in and know how much i love writing these stories to then be told that i only care about votes. bd alone is the length of 4 standard-sized novels, published for free, written on my own time. you don't do that if you don't write for enjoyment.

so if you think I'm being greedy - when we both know in the grand scheme of things votes mean nothing and will earn me nothing more than a metaphorical pat on the back - then fine, but it's not like you aren't getting fed, either.

vote, or don't vote. it's all just pixels on a screen, at the end of the day.

but please don't insinuate i don't care about my stories.

[indestinatus]

Hi, different anon, i dont know who sent the others. i want to say some things but please don't take any of this in the wrong way. ive followed you for a long time, you're well liked and well respected in the tiva fandom for good reason however, i agree with the anon that there has been a change that has nothing to do with your life commitments (which im happy for you BTW!)

You said its overwhelming on twitter because of the number of people there now but this isn't accurate, if there were a large number of people being kind on there then there wouldn't be a problem but these people are continuously unkind to anyone who isn't in their "troops".

You reference "tiva fights" on twitter but i don't remember a time before the spin-off was announced that there was drama on this constant scale like this in the fandom. you say you won't support "content stealing or random rudeness" yet the only people you now interact with on twitter are the very people doing this (i think this is an issue the anon was talking about).

You say you've made real friends here over the years and that's true! but like the anon said its like you've dropped these friends and are only focused on the people who are intent on tearing this fandom apart for their own egotistical gains.

Your "new" friends have created nothing but trouble since they appeared when the spin-off was announced. they have been rude, insulting, belittling, condescending, aggressive etc towards anyone who doesn't share their mindset. they gang up on people who say one thing they don't like and are also attacking random people not in the fandom who comment on announcement tweets. either you don't know the full extent of the damage they've caused inside this fandom to people who are friends with you (which is fine because there are many people who can explain it to you), or you know what they've done to people and you simply don't care. i think the ambiguity of this particular part is unsettling people because it seems as if you're condoning what they've done.

I think you yourself are a really nice and kind person but the friends you've now got are affecting the way people see you. i saw also you had quote retweets from hawaii fans and that's because your new friends have done nothing but attack them for months, so now you are receiving it too because you associate with them.

Overall it just seems like there is confusion to you not talking to these new people at all to suddenly they are the only ones you talk to. I know you can't control what other people do but this is more of a reflection of what your friendship with them is presenting.

hello, anon. this ask has made me immensely sad.

first of all, who am I in the grand scheme of things. for you to be monitoring my activity and debating who I should be talking to like... I admit I am a person moved by fandom. In the ncis fandom, especially the tiva fandom, there are waves of activity both here and on other socials like twitter and instagram. I've spent almost 2 years not posting on twitter and only making content for tumblr, both gifsets and fics, and talking to the fandom in here. Likewise, when it's more active there I tend to float toward where people want to talk about it. And who share fandom content and who are actually excited about what I also share.

I talked about some stuff you allude to in this ask only in my private twitter which means you're one of my closest friends in the fandom, and it makes me sad. And no, I never categorized myself in any friend group. I don't take sides in fights inside a fandom (which, idk if you know this but the ncis fandom was really big in 2010s and every big fandom has fights and wow do I even need to talk about the drama back then) and if you monitor my activity so closely I think you also know I wasn't aware of the details of this until a few days prior. Since then, I've collected myself again and I haven't shared content I know is from other people whom I respect and I don't interact with arguments about cancellations and other drama like this. I hate it. I'm here to talk about fictional characters and share stuff I'm excited about.

that said, I haven't dropped any friends. I'm not inside any "new troops". from what I remember, I tried my best not to be "rude, insulting, belittling, condescending, aggressive" against anyone. My real friends from this fandom know who they are and we talk constantly, they have my private phone number and my personal instagram. we support each other. I don't know anything other than seeing a few friends talking about having their gifs been stolen (so no, it's not like "I simply don't care") but also idk if I'm interested in fandom drama. since then, I voiced my opinion about taking someone else's content as one's own and focused on making my own content again, sharing the ones I know are from people who created them and staying silent.

since the spin-off news dropped I've been overwhelmed with the number of new people who suddenly arrived in this fandom and also with the zero amount of time I now have to create fandom content about stuff I'm so excited about. I didn't even have the time to digest this news and am constantly bombarded with new things and no time to process them like I wanted to. no time to make the gifsets, fics, or talk to people like I did before and also who aren't as active anymore anywhere. it breaks my heart to be excited about stuff in a way my life doesn't allow me to be.

anyway, after this whole ramble, I hope you realize I hate fandom drama and that is why I post my content, voice my opinion, and make myself scarce. if you want to explain what happened or simply talk to me, feel free and I'm OK with being judged. but also I don't intend to be as active anymore currently because of things like these and asks like these from anons. I'm sorry. if anyone wants to talk about tony and ziva, let me know.