#and tomorrow's monday again i just. ugh

[theghostofashton]

.

[lesbianralzarek]

i got 99% on an exam i was dreading and i was sooo brave and i only threw up a little bit :) unfortunately i had to take 2 tabs of adderall at 4pm and subsequently i will not be escaping my dogshit sleep schedule tonight :( but i got 99% :)

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Holy fuck y'all i should NOT be awake 😭

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[mondscheinprinzessin]

.

[wlwgang]

The fact that I dealt w all that bullshit at work Friday and I just have to go to work tomorrow like normal

[justmossyaps]

i don’t want to jinx it but i think the flareup might actually be over :D

[thursdayg1rl]

should I get meal deal tomorrow?

[4giorno]

this is what i mean LMAO i really got another double 5 star with a free new years ten pull, but theyre both dupes

[occamstfs]

Diet Diaries

Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam

Monday March 21st-

Andy:

I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~

Steve:

Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home. 

Tuesday March 22nd-

Andy:

My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.

Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don’t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~

Steve:

Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.

Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.

Wednesday March 23rd-

Andrew:

Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!

Steven:

That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with  him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.

Thursday March 24th-

Andrew: 

Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!

OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!

Steven:

God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it. 

It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.

Friday March 25th-

Steven:

Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.

I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..

Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~

Andrew:

Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.

Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)

Saturday March 26th-

Stevie:

Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-

Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass! 

I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-

And Drew:

Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.  

Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.

Sunday March 27th-

Stevie:

Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~

Drew:

My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

ok, i'm being so brave and making the rec post that i told anon i would do like three days ago.

the obligatory caveats. this is not comprehensive—i haven't read all the fic in this fandom, and i've barely looked at anything not in english. my reading habits are pretty broad—i'll read almost any pairing, and am generally willing to suspend my disbelief to do so. i am not usually an au person, though this fandom is doing its absolute damndest to prove me wrong on that point.

also i have…more…fics that i felt i should rec somewhere, so probably this is rec post one, but ten felt like enough and also saying things in public where people can hear me is, it turns out, absolutely excruciating. please no one be mean to me about this post, especially if you wrote one of these fics, because if you are i will simply fill my pockets with rocks and take to the sea, ok? ok.

excited to find out what i manage to do that ruins the formatting, links the wrong fics and/or people, or otherwise breaks things in this post. please tell me if i've fucked up, or if your fic is on this list and you would rather i keep your name out of my mouth, or whatever.

first, a very special mention to the mlc reference guide by @yletylyf. this is such an incredibly comprehensive and generous resource. you want a timeline for this show that does an incredibly poor job of maintaining its own timeline? it's here. you want episode summaries? they're here. you want all the people and places? they're here. if you're writing fic, you want this guide, because it's so much easier and faster than scanning episodes or subs files to figure out the name of one specific guy or whatever. it also means that at least occasionally you work on the thing rather than accidentally rewatching the same scene five times, or hypothetically watching two to four episodes without even really thinking about what you're doing. the reference guide is the unsung mvp of fandom.

beyond porch and portal, difanghua, teen, by willowdream. this is the vampire au that i didn't know i wanted? the author posted it and their note was like 'i'm trying to be the change i want to see in the world,' and i was like ok sure, i'm not really convinced that the change i need is vampire aus, but i'll give it a go, and then i did and was like, oh shit, i'm eating fucking glass about this vampire au, i'm chewing on my own fucking fingers, i'm so fucking normal about this, i need another hundred thousand words of this and also seventeen more vampire aus in my inbox by monday morning. i literally finished reading it and scrolled right back to the top to read it again. i have no idea why this fic hits so hard, but it took me out at the knees. the voices are perfect. something about it is just impossibly compelling.

不安的��離，再无歸期 | restless distance, without return, fang duobing/qiao wanmian, mature and teen, by @difeisheng. this is technically two fics but they're short and you should read both of them because they're such a brutal, perfect encapsulation of grief, and a really beautiful acknowledgement of the ways that fang duobing and qiao wanmian can be read as reflections of each other, separated by a decade, and it just fucking guts me. i dunno. it's about the grief! it's about the yearning! it's about someone who understands parts of you that you wish didn't exist! i think i've reread this like once a week for the last six weeks and i feel like it gets overlooked because it's not A Ship but like. it could be. it should be.

dance the silence down, fanghua and feihua, explicit, by @momosandlemonsoda. this fic. ugh. ok. i'm breaking my own rules. i had two when i started writing this post: no works in progress, and no reccing things that i haven't left a comment on, like a goddamn grownup. this one fic is breaking both of those rules and i feel bad about it and will hopefully spend like, all day tomorrow just commenting on every chapter or something, but i have to do this. this fic is so good. this fic ruins me. this fic is 63k, still a work in progress, and also if i were losing the whole internet tomorrow and i got to keep one fic in all the world and it was the only fic i could have for the rest of time, it might have to be this one, even as a work in progress. i ignored this fic for so long—by which i mean probably two of the four months since i first watched mysterious lotus casebook—because i was like, i don't like aus, and i especially don't like rock star aus. (or sex work aus, and you're never gonna fucking believe what else this author is writing and what else i absolutely cannot get enough of—this is a sneaky bonus rec for all i wanna do is wrong, another fic that i feel so so so normal about!) but then i was like okkkkkkk but. maybe i'll try it. people seem to be nuts for it. and then i read it and i was like OH HOLY SHIT PEOPLE ARE FULLY CORRECT TO BE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED ABOUT THIS and normally, honestly, i wouldn't bother posting a rec like this because it's like 'oh haha have you read the five most popular fics in this fandom?' and it feels so redundant, but i know for a fact that a friend of mine who finished watching the show yesterday is reading this post, and even if everyone else has read it, she has not! anyhow as a former music person and a former diner cook, this fic like. i don't know. i feel like it broke me but also fixed me? i literally criticise writing professionally and every time i try to talk about this fic i find myself speechless because it's so perfect to me. i am deeply unwell about this fic. every time a new chapter comes out i sit down and read the whole thing again, yes, all sixty-thousand-plus words of it. some nights you go to bed and you're like 'what's the fucking point?' and then you're like 'no wait, there will eventually be more of dance the silence down,' and somehow that makes things suck a tiny bit less. my wife has made me take out like six sentences from this rec because they're too intense and too weird about it but i need you to understand: you have to read this fic.

in this dream, there is a lover to share this life with, fanghua, g, by @lianhuajing. alternative ending for the end of episode 27, in which li lianhua—precious man who has yet to discover a hill he's not willing to die on—apologises to fang duobing the only way he knows how, and it's wildly upsetting for everyone (but it's ok and it doesn't end miserably, no one panic). this is a delightfully angsty treat, and i love how conflicted fang duobing is in it—i feel like it's not something that i've seen explored a lot, but this poor boy really fuckin goes through it—his best friend and his childhood idol are the same person but are lying to him about it, and his dad's not actually his father and has been lying to him about it, and his best friend/childhood idol may have killed his father, and—yeah, is lying to him about it. like? someone give this poor man a hug and a cup of tea and a snack and a blankie. i love that we get to see some of his internal conflict in this.

quintessence of dust, feihua, teen, by justthereforit. this plays with one of my very most favourite tropes in the world, which is the one where the heart is a physical object and a physical form of trust and control and surrender and—like. this is so good. it's set in episode 13, which is, for me, one of the absolute peak angst points, and it absolutely nails it. di feisheng who's upset and vulnerable and frustrated and angry, li lianhua who knows he's going to die and can't bear the thought that he's going to take anyone else down with him, and they're both just so fucked up. chef kiss. i love it when everyone is emotionally wrecked and continually like 'ok no, i can take one more knife in my soul to protect someone else', and this absolutely delivers on that.

under moonlight, we change our futures yet again, feihua, explicit, by @thesilversun. the wedding room! obviously we have to have a wedding room fic, right? i'm not going to lie: i'm willing to suspend a lot of disbelief for wedding room fics, but in this one, it's actually a wonderfully, horrifyingly plausible setup. it walks a really fine line of keeping people in character, and acknowledging the inherent horror and seriousness of the situation, and also providing some desperately hot sex, and also managing to get the emotional beats of it, too. it has a sequel, which imo really has to be read as the conclusion to this fic, and it's just as good. it's possible that some of what i'm saying here is 'i love vulnerable-inside crusty-outside di feisheng' but like. i do. i love it so much.

what's sealed away, feihua, teen, by @bbcphile. AMNESIA FIC yessssss, a-fei my beloved, fics that handle brain damage/memory issues/amnesia well my beloveddddd. i love the a-fei arc, but i also have had a number of brain injuries and some other stuff that means that my own memory is…not so great, so i sometimes really struggle with how often amnesia in fiction is played off either as nothing to worry about or as a funny thing where everyone's in on the joke except the person who has amnesia. this fic is a great and sometimes very visceral exploration of a horrifying experience, and a really fantastic study of a-fei/di feisheng as a character, as well as the relationship that he has with li lianhua. a-fei trying to balance the trust he has in the sense memory of his body with his understanding of his relationship with li lianhua with li lianhua's reaction to—everything, really—is really well done and wonderful/terrible to read.

我只愿面朝大海 | i wish only to face the sea, g, by foreverstudent. ok so you wanna fuck yourself up some more? go read this. this is canon divergence from episode 39, and fang duobing has learned too well the lessons he's been taught, and sees the shape of things before li lianhua ever touches the wangchuan flower—so he sets about making sure that he won't be able to throw it away. this is agonising and gorgeous and maintains the canon relationships while developing the narrative differently. i wept literal tears. i was like 'ok that's it the worst part is over!' and then i remembered that there was another part coming and then i started crying. anyhow, it is—as ever, with me—about the devotion.

我住長江頭, 君住長江尾 -- i live upstream, you live downstream, fanghua, teen, by @rimbaudofficial. ok so this is Not a fic that i should like, because i am a massive academic failure and despite being in my forties have regular nightmares about having to re-engage with academia for like. any reason. HOWEVER. as noted, i read indiscriminately, even when i'm like 'reading this is a terrible idea and will be upsetting for me personally!', so i was like 'well, how bad of an idea can it possibly be?' and then instead! it was. incredibly charming? it was so fucking cute? the fang duobing characterisation in this is somehow just perfect to me—he's simultaneously confident and vulnerable, and also just so deeply committed to the weird clueless guy who he's decided is meant for him. di feisheng and li lianhua have a perfect weird-bros friendship. i would read another ten chapters of this and i would love it.

[revalition]

OCT 6 - VISUAL CALCULUS

Reconstruct crime scenes. Make laws of physics work for the Law.

simpler one again today, I'm just doing whatever I feel like for these :)

the pleasure wheel is very important to me. I never got it in my first playthrough (1 INT run, the bubble never came up) and I unfortunately can't do the missing husband quest anymore, so I haven't seen it in game... but I've read the dialogue and seen pictures, and it's incredible.

also! mentioned yesterday, but I'm doing my day off on mondays. so nothing tomorrow.

as always, quotes under the cut. I also put the viscalc part of my wips in there since I didnt hit the 30 image limit today

starting with one from the vault (the vault being a giant word document full of screenshots and ramblings. like these posts, but bigger!)

ty viscalc ily

he's just observing ok?

he likes timetables!!

he offers some dialogue options after this! my lovely quiet guy

hehe

viscalc - infected by mullen-mania :((( composure saying he used to be more polite!!

he's so sassy, I love him a lot

visual calculus making you retry the failed check!! volition would be proud

this is the only time he says 'sorry' haha. he is not apologetic!

it takes a medium visual calculus check to deduce this

ugh I loved this scene... visual calculus confirming it makes no sense made it so much better

viscalc!! who cares, just go look at his window please

poor harry is like ???

if you reject him he gets sooo rude, ily viscalc

he's so proud of it! as he should be <3

that's it for screenshots, viscalc just doesn't talk that much :( he has has the 2nd fewest passive checks of all the skills and only 2 anti-passives... but when he does talk, he has lots to offer!!

since I have extra screenshots this time, here is viscalc in my two WIPs

spring storm:

I've done everyone except the motorics guys, and I think he was the hardest so far. figuring out how to use the negative space to capture all his details was hard

banner:

he's just in the background hehe. this is the first time I drew him! but I like how he came out so I kept a lot of the design for today's.

ok that's it! see you tuesday

[mimiccry]

Raincoat

Summary: you and Venti hang out a lot. Will you finally admit your feelings after years of playing it safe?

notes: — ehem: this is a venti x reader! reader isn’t described, gender - neutral reader, modern au, fluff, uhhh yea i don’t wanna spoil it through any pre - story notes here. enjoy! :}

word count: 2027

warnings: none!

———————————————————————————

“That was tiring…” you sigh, stepping down from the last step of the grand building behind you. Your friend huffs a laugh.

“Sorry,” Venti says. “I didn’t think the museum would take this long to get through.” The pedestrian light turns red. You wiggle your toes in your shoes to pass the time. Or maybe it was to ease the damp cold in your feet.

“Next time, we could go somewhere more peaceful.” He suggests.

White.

The amount of people you had to dodge to cross the road was not dissimilar to the crowds of people you had to weave through in the museum. Was it a new exhibit or just a busy day? The rain makes a lovely noise when you walk through it on the pavement, over the chipped white zebra stripes. You lean to your left towards Venti to whisper,

“Maybe the aquarium? I heard it’s not very popular on Mondays.” You glance at him. He nods lightly.

“Hmm, that could be nice!”

You notice your face is soaked and your hair is sticking to your face.

“On second thought, that might be too much water.” You say, shaking your head.

Both of your steps reach the other sidewalk in unison just in time for the crossing light to start flashing red, a warning to hurry up. But you were safe. When you turn left to the rural area you live in, your finger grazes a wet plant sticking out disorderly from the beside the walkway. It’s cold, so you shake it off in slight shock. Venti giggles at you.

“Hey! Weren’t you the one who thought he was allergic to the statue of a cat? You have no right to laugh at me.” You sniff. This only spurs on his laughter, which only escalates when the rain starts pouring heavily, soaking you.

“Ugh…” you try wipe away your hair from your face and neck. Something drapes itself around your shoulders. Looking up, Venti is adjusting the hood to cover your head. His raincoat. He smoothens it out for you, his face focused, then looks up at your face and smiles.

“There you are. Now you won’t get any more soaked until you get home!” He grabs your hand to start skipping on towards your block. You’re stumbling along with him, unlike he, who is pretty much gracefully dancing through the puddles.

“W-wait! Venti, what about you? You’ll catch a cold!”

“Worry not! I’ll be fine. I don’t get sick easily after all.” He stops and turns to you.

“But, I know you do!” He taps your nose with the pointer finger of his free hand. You sigh, knowing he’s right. Oh well.

Venti readjusts his grip on your hand, then continues leading you forward. Something stirs in your lungs.

“So, let’s hurry up, so you can dry yourself off sooner!”

When you reach your house, you search for your keys in your pocket. Ah, Found it! While turning it in the lock, you remember something.

“Your coat! How could I forget?” You bring a palm to your face in disbelief with yourself. You quickly take off the coat and hand it to him.

“Thank you kindly!” He takes it from you and puts it back on. You realize that he doesn’t seem to be very wet from the rain. Weird. But your thoughts are interrupted by Venti clasping your hands with his own.

“Thank you for today, I had a lot of fun.”

You reciprocate his grip and smile. He looks around, then at his watch, and folds the coat under his arm. You interrupt him.

“So where are we going tomorrow, then?” He looks up at the underside of the roof that hung over the porch in thought.

“You decide!” He nods at you. He turns to leave before looking back at you again.

“Maybe it’ll rain less next time.”

•••

You grumble at the rain flooding along your window like a racing river.

‘So much for the aquarium.’ You think,

‘What a shitty Monday.’

It won’t stop you from hanging out with Venti again, though. You open up his messages. He doesn’t have a cell phone - only a landline - despite you recommending it to him many times. He claims it “scrambles the brain”. So he opts for using a home phone and an analogue camera instead. He even sends you postcards and photos when he goes on vacation. You look over at the picture sitting on the shelf. Golden ginkgo trees frame the edges, and a big mountain towers over from the distance. If you look closely, you’ll see some small buildings with dark grey shingles in the meadow. Maybe one day, you could see it too. You sigh.

You pull up your list of hangout ideas in a little teal notepad. On it were various ideas, such as ‘forest hike’, or ‘drive around idk’. You deliberately ignored the scribbled out ‘aquarium’ on the top of the small page, with mini hearts dotted around the page. You slammed your notebook shut in frustration. How could finding a place to hang out be so hard? Especially for a guy like Venti. He just goes with the flow, you admire that about him. He’d probably by okay with anything. As you stare at the notebook in your hand, the bright blue colour reminds you of something…

You grab your phone and dial his number. The phone rings for a few seconds before you hear a familiar voice on the other end.

“Hey, [Name]!” He sounds very cheerful. His joy is contagious, and you find yourself smiling to the sound of him speaking.

“Hi Venti!” You stop, not really knowing what to say afterwards. That’s okay though, when he’s around, there’s no shortage of witty jokes in your conversations.

“Nice weather today, huh?” He teases, to which you roll your eyes. You almost want to blame the rain on him. So you move ahead to your own point instead.

“I was thinking about what you said yesterday, and…” you pause, for you realize you’re admitting to thinking of him a lot, even for one day.

“…I wanted to let you choose what we’re doing today. I think it’s only fair since even my mind is clouded today. I… could use something to cheer me up.”

You done hear anything from the other end for a few long seconds before he responds.

“I’ll be there in twenty.”

•••

The two of you end up at an art gallery. It’s much less crowded than the museum, aside from some art class student groups quietly flowing through the rooms. Every footstep softly echoed in the wide spaces, and no one spoke, unless it was by hushed whispers. You find the setting to be quite comforting, even though you felt way too compelled to say at least something to Venti, or even just to think out loud a bit. Maybe the amount of people here is a curse after all…There you go again being pessimistic. You look at Venti in an attempt to cheer yourself up. He’s smiling. It isn’t the usual cheeky mischievous grin he wears, but a soft and genuine looking one. One you rarely get to see. It feels warm and fuzzy, like sitting on a cloud in a late summer sunset, with the stars twinkling above. If you entertain that thought a bit longer, you’ll see him sitting next to you, the same gentle smile on his face.

Suddenly you are reminded of the painting you saw an hour ago. Maybe the artist felt the same thing, and presented their feelings through those calculated blotches and hues on a canvas. Maybe they, too, were in -

Venti taps your shoulder, and discreetly points towards a room in the distance. His face suggests, ‘That way?’ You can barely make out a wall and protective glass case, inside a giant city scene. He waits for your approval. You smile and nod, as a ‘Let’s go see!’

•••

The walk home is a lot quieter than the last time you went out together. It’s as if the quiet and calm energy from the art gallery bled on into the rest of your day. You are again, wearing Venti’s raincoat. He couldn’t resist offering it to you once again after yours got lost at the gallery’s coat check. Truly unbelievable how you always end up using his coat instead of your own, it’s like a curse.

Once again at your doorstep, this time you insist on giving his coat back. He reluctantly agrees, taking it from you and slinging it over his left shoulder. He opens his mouth to bid you farewell, when-

“Wait. No no, you’re not leaving like that.” You frown at him.

“Hm, what?” He laughs. You huff in frustration, and snatch the coat back, unfolding it and putting it over both his shoulders.

“Well? Arms in sleeves, Venti.” You order, and he obliges.

“Why so strict, [Name]?”

“I’m not letting you leave without you wearing it properly!” You sternly say adjusting the torso of the plastic-like material. He laughs softly, waiting with patience while you fumble with the zipper. The concentrated look on your face makes his heart feel warm, knowing you care this much. He wants to be more close to you. To be near you forever. But what if…

His coat tightens shut around his body as the zipper closes, snugly held by your firm hands. Your eyes meet his and a tense silence hung in the air enveloping you like a cozy winter blanket. Your hand is still gripping his coat zipper, just under his chin. He’s looking curiously at you.

Meanwhile, you’re reliving all the time you’d spend with him through his hypnotizing, kind blue eyes. The good and the bad. There was a time when you both got hurt on a hike, and Venti remained with a positive attitude the whole way down the hill back home.

“What’s life without a little rain?” He had said, wrapping gauze around your knee while humming a lovely tune. You pointed towards the door,

“There’s a second first aid kit in the kitchen.” He stopped you from standing up to lead him.

“I know.” He said.

There was the time you spent the whole day together(as per usual), watching cheap movies all day and laughing at their bad writing and dialogue.

“What was that?!” You exclaimed at the screen, where the words ‘The End’ proudly stood centre stage. Venti sat on the floor in front of your couch, trying to contain his laughter and not spill the can of fizzy water in his hand. You sighed and climbed down to join him, leaning your head on his shoulder. You then heard the sound of a can being placed on the floor before an arm wrapped itself around your right side and held you closer to him.

You feel like he’s slipping away now, and you don’t want him to. You want it to be you and him, together forever. You and him, now standing and waiting for each other to speak while you hold him still. This feels like it could be your final moment. And Venti wanted to seize that moment.

He leaned forward to give you a tender kiss on the cheek. It tickles, his hair drifting close to your face. Some raindrops roll from the top of his hood and drip on your already - damp head, but you don’t notice. When he moves away from you, you bring your hands loosely back to your chest. He finally looks away and adjusts his coat and steps backwards.

“I’ll see you later, then!” He says waving goodbye at you.

‘No!’ You grab the hand that’s waving at you and held it back. When you see his face, well, that’s new: You managed to surprise Venti, his eyes wide. You held his hand gently with your own, feeling embarrassed by your impulsive action. So you look down to ease your thoughts. All these bottled up thoughts and feelings shuffling around in your head, quick like a magician’s card trick, so fast that all that comes out of your mouth is,

“Don’t go.”

•••

a/n: i was gonna have him smooch reader on the lips but i can’t help but feel uncomfy around fics that have kisses without any clear consent in unexpected moments, so here’s a cheek kiss for ya

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[lizzieislife94x]

Long Distance (e.o)

Requested ❤️

Lizzie x Fem Reader

GirlxGirl 

Y/ns POV:

I wash up my plate as I watch my phone like an excited child its 6:30pm meaning my girlfriend will be calling any minute its 10pm where she is at the moment on location, I dry my dish as I wait for the call after 5 minutes my phone rings with the facetime call. 

Me: babyyy I've missed you so much.

Lizzie: I've missed you too, how was your day today baby. 

Me: it was great work was chill I hung out with one of my new co workers Jane she's awesome.

I say with a smile as I look at lizzie her smile doesn't seem proper maybe I'm over thinking 

Lizzie: that's good did you eat.

Me: yeah I just had dinner just finished 15 minutes ago, how is work going liz.

Lizzie: ugh good yeah just really tired I wish I was with you though. 

Me: yeah me too me too.

After an hour on the phone we hang up and I have a huge smile on my face lizzie said she's coming to visit next week she has 2 weeks off and I couldn't be more excited about it I decided to go for a shower then bed and fall asleep with a huge smile on my face.

 4 days later:

"So you have any plans for this weekend y/n" I look up from my food and smile sweetly "actually I don't do you wanna do something" I ask Jane as she grins "yessss lets go dancing and let loose" she says excitedly as I giggle "ok so tomorrow night I'll meet you at the club?" I say and nods "yes definitely " we continue to eat our lunch as my phone rings I look and notice lizzies name causing me to smile "Jane ill be right back I have to take this my girlfriend is calling" I stand up and walk away to answer.

Me: Hey baby is everything ok 

Lizzie: yeah I just missed your voice babygirl how is work. 

Me: yeah we're on lunch just now I'm going to the club tomorrow night with JaneAll I hear is silence for bit

Me: lizzie are you there liz baby

Lizzie: yeah sorry I'm here thats great as long as you have fun princess 

Me: oh you no I will but hey I can't wait to see you on Monday I'm counting down the hours

Lizzie: me to princess I can't wait to just chill with you go out and most importantly have you in my arms. 

Me: oh god me to baby I can't wait shit hey baby I gotta go I gotta get back to work ill text you later have fun filming. 

With that I quickly hang up and rush back up to the office and get back towork after a few hours it's home time I quickly head home and throw myself on the couch oh jeez its been a long day I decided to just have grilled cheese for dinner I can't be bothered cooking once I eat I head up to my room and throw myself onto the bed and open tik tok must have fell asleep though because I'm being woke up to the sound of my alarm I roll over and groan getting up to shower and brush my teeth I get dressed for work and head to my car. 

Me: Good morning baby I hope you have a great day still counting the hours down till your here but I'm heading to work so I'll text you again later

I put my phone down and drive to work as I pull up my phone beeps causing me to smile when I see her name on my phone 

 Lizzie♥️: Good morning princess I hope you have a great day at work and don't get to drunk tonight ill text you later beautiful 

I smile and walk into the building to get my work done at lunch Jane comes running over to me "dude you still on for tonight" she says excited "yeah of course haha I'm looking forward to it ill meet you at the club at 8" she jumps up and down a little making me laugh.

after a long day its finally time to head home I need to go and pick an outfit. 

2 hours later: 

I finish putting the last touches to my make up and admire myself in the mirror I do look pretty hot if I do say so myself I went with tight black dress and black heels decided light make up and curly hair I grab my phone and take a full body picture and decide to send it to lizzie. 

Me:*1 image attached* baby do I look ok

Not even a minute later my phone dings

Lizzie: Wow wow wow you look fucking sexy baby not gonna lie I'm hella jealous right now if anyone looks at you a little to long punch them in the face for me babygirl😳

I giggle at her text blushing slightly

Me: Baby no one's going to look at me and even if they did let them I have the best girlfriend in the world I don't need nor want anyone else but you your eyes and your staring are the only ones that matter to me 

I spray some perfume and head out getting into my car and driving towards the club after 20 minutes I arrive right on time I park up and head to the front of club and see Jane "wow you look amazing" she says as we hug and head inside. 

4 hours later:

"Oh my gosh that was so fun I yell to Jane" she nods and agrees we head outside and I call an uber "I haven't been out in a while and I had so much fun thank you Jane" she looks at me and smiles "same thanks for coming with me" we part ways heading into our own ubers after 20 minutes and a stop to Mcdonalds I'm home I decided to drunken facetime my girlfriend while I munched my Mcdonalds we spend roughly 2 hours on facetime before I passed out 

 Time skip to Monday

Work was boring today maybe its because lizzie gets here in the next hour and I'm counting down I get to finish in 10 minutes so I can pick her up once I finish I practically run to my car and head towards the airport my excitement rushing through my veins after 15 minutes I arrived at the airport I get out and stand against my car patiently waiting after a few minutes I spot her walking towards me with a huge smile I jump up and down and run towards her screaming with excitement as I jump into her arms she catches me and we both squeal in joy holding eachother tight "I missed you so fucking much" i mumble into her neck as she holds me tighter "I missed you to princess" we stood holding eachother for 10 minutes before I took her bag and put it in the trunk then opened her door for her "thank you baby" she smiles fuck I've missed her smile so much Irun to my side and start to drive to my house her hand automatically rests on my thigh making my thoughts run wild I haven't seen her in 6 months so its been 6 months of no action I pull into my drive and get out running round to open her door "there you go baby" she giggles and smiles as we walk inside she plops down on the couch and I follow instantly cuddling upto her "fuck I've missed you" I mumble but loud enough for her to hear"I've missed you too beautiful" she says as she plays with my hair I Bury my face in her chest and bask in the feeling of being in her arms and her playing with my hair I let out a content sigh this is perfect.

AN: ok this is gonna be a 2 parter I didn't think it would be this long but this part is basically just leading up to them being together again part 2 will have the action if it sucks I'm sorry lmao hope your all good and stay hydrated people I feel like I've not wrote in months

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 9

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 8

part 10

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(Name)’s friend had a small cabin near the beach she’d offered to loan her for a few days. From Tuesday to Thursday, they’d be staying in a few towns over to enjoy the beach.

When they arrived home, Leorio left to go and start packing his stuff. They had a few days before the cabin would be available, so they had plenty of time to plan.

“Everyone get to bed! We’re going to be having a down day tomorrow, and Monday we’re going shopping for beach supplies.”

Killua nodded as he rubbed at his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Come on, Gon.”

The two leave to their rooms.

(Name) sighs before crashing onto the couch, not even knowing the skirt of her dress was lifted just enough to expose the pink panties she’d worn to the Barbie movie.

Kurapika didn’t notice at first either, he was too busy pulling off his shirt. That was until her back arched and cracked a bit, causing her to groan and him to look over to make sure she was okay.

He didn’t think this day could get any better, but the view he saw certainly… did something for him.

Her butt was firmly in the air, her clothed pussy on full display. Her cute thigh highs squished her thighs perfectly, creating a sight he thought he could only see in heaven.

‘I want to…’

He stopped himself before he even finished that thought, moving away from the couch and towards his room.

“Going to bed, goodnight.”

“Night…”

He heard her whine slightly as she stretched before he rushed to his room. He barely got the door closed before he was slipping his hand into his pants, panting as he stroked his cock. The door was still slightly cracked open, and he realized if he peeked out, he could still see her cute butt poking up into the air.

‘This is… dirty.’

But he couldn’t stop looking. She just looked so perfect on display, all for him to enjoy.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck…’

She whimpered out, rubbing her back lightly. It must if hurt from carrying around those big boobs all day.

“Kurapika…”

He stopped, eyes going wide. Did she happen to see him? That couldn’t be possible, she was facing in the opposite direction.

“Did he go to bed already?”

She pushed herself off of the couch, moving so her butt was pushed in his direction, her panties moving to the side ever so slightly.

It was enough to make him cum instantly, gasping as he painted the door.

“Kurapika?” she called out again, this time beginning to turn towards his door.

He slipped his hand from his pants and ran over to his desk, grabbing a tissue she’d supplied for him and moving to wipe off the door.

“Hey, are you asleep?”

She knocked on the cracked door, causing it to open up. Thankfully he’d wiped the door clean before she opened it, holding the tissue in his hand relived.

“No, I’m awake. Do you need something?”

His cheeks were still flushed and his limbs weak from his orgasm seconds before. Kurapika felt soft, his eyelashes fluttering when she bent slightly to smile at him.

“Can you unzip me? Leorio was going to, but he forgot and now he’s gone.”

Kurapika wanted to bang his head against the wall. “… yes, of course I can.”

He followed her up to her room, now noticing how easy it was to see her underwear when he was following right behind her.

“Ugh my back is killing me! I knew wearing a bra without any support was a bad idea… but this dress is strapless.”

Kurapika was not listening to a goddamn thing. He was too focused on her cute ass. “Uh huh.”

They walked into her room. She instantly kicked off her Mary Janes and lifted her leg onto the bed to pull off her thigh highs.

‘She’s going to kill me.’

He watched as she pulled the first one down before he had to turn to avoid getting hard again. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her, especially after spying on her like a perv minutes before.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

She turned his way, her back to him. He stepped forward and stared down at her back.

‘It’s just her back. Don’t you DARE get hard over her back you fucking idiot.’

He pulled the zipper down.

‘God fucking damn it.’

The sight of her bra made him grow hard yet again, and there was no hiding it in these jeans. He pulled the zipper the rest of the way down before turning.

“You’re going so soon?”

He paused in the doorway, gritting his teeth. All Kurapika wanted to do was go to his room, jerk off, and pass out.

But the innocent tone in her voice made him sigh.

“Do you need me to stay?”

“Well, I was wondering if you’d like to watch a movie with me. Since it was… interrupted last time.”

Ouch. He’d forgotten he’d pretty much abandoned her a week or so ago to find a member of the phantom troupe. She’d stayed up all night waiting for him, and he couldn’t even call to ease her worries.

Usually, Kurapika would push these guilty feelings away and just sleep, but after his orgasm he was feeling… soft. Easily mailable by her hands.

“… sure. You get changed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Kurapika internally groaned, looking down at himself with a sigh. ‘I’ll change into some baggy pajama pants. Should… hide it…’

———————

(Name) walked downstairs wearing a nightgown and a green face mask. He wanted to tease her for it, saying she looked silly, but knew if he did she’d have plenty of ammo to throw back at him.

“Imma pop some popcorn! We gotta eat quietly though. Just the smell is enough to wake up Gon…”

She sighed, and pulled the popcorn from the cabinet. Kurapika was curled up on the couch, a blanket covering his form. “Shouldn’t we just not eat it then?”

“Nah, if he wakes up I’ll just give him some horse tranquilizer.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s like a melatonin gummy for him.”

The blonde stared at the TV. ‘What the hell is wrong with that boy?’

Kurapika huffed when she sat the bowl of popcorn in his lap. “It’s hot! I’m gonna grab us some lemonade!”

He popped a few pieces into his mouth. ‘Mmm… I haven’t had popcorn in years.’

(Name) plopped down next to him, curling her legs against the side of the couch. She leaned until her head was comfortably against Kurapika’s shoulder.

Usually he would have pushed her off subtly or moved away, but right now he was feeling… cuddly.

Although he didn’t move to hold her close, he did allow her to stay.

“What do you want to watch? I’m thinking a ghibli movie.”

“I don’t care, you can pick.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, but picked a random ghibli movie.

It happened to be Howl’s Moving Castle.

“Oooh, this is a good one. I think you’ll like it!”

Kurapika only nodded, leaning his head against hers. It was the only contact he’d allow himself to make.

The movie started, Kurapika barely able to pay attention. He was too focused on (Name)’s soft scent and comforting warmth.

A few minutes in, he felt (Name) pull away slightly. She seemed excited, bouncing in her seat.

“Ahh, it’s Howl.”

Her eyes almost twinkled when a blonde man appeared on screen, offering a hand to the main female character. Kurapika hadn’t bothered to learn her name.

The man looked… awfully familiar. His blonde hair, soft feminine appearance, and pretty eyes made Kurapika tilt his head.

“Is that… your favorite character?”

She nodded, her eyes never leaving the blonde haired man.

“He’s been my favorite ghibli character for years.”

Kurapika smiled. “I see.”

‘She did say my butt was cute earlier… and that she likes my hair…’

The movie continued on, (Name) occasionally gasping or cooing at the screen. “Hehe, look! Aren’t they just the cutest?”

The girl on screen reminded him of her. She was a bit insecure, but to everyone else but her she was beautiful.

“Yes. They are.”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She looked gorgeous, even in the low light of the living room.

She caught him staring, sending him a wink. “Pay attention to the movie, sweetheart.”

Kurapika blushed. She wasn’t usually the type to confront him about his staring, even though he was sure she could notice it. (Name) was a hunter after all, she couldn’t be that oblivious.

“Ah… it’s almost over.”

She seemed a little sad at this. Kurapika wasn’t sure if it was because she really liked the movie, or their time together would end soon.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew (Name) cared for him quite a bit, even being told by Leorio she had a crush on him during the Hunter Exam. Of course, at the time that made him beyond happy. Kurapika didn’t know why exactly, but knowing she liked him more than the others made his heart soar.

But now, that knowledge didn’t fill him with butterflies, it filled him with dread. Had he broken her heart with what he said during York New? Had he ruined any chances he’d had with her?

‘Ruined any… what am I thinking?’

He shook the thought from his head. Kurapika couldn’t dare to think like that. She was his dear friend, someone that needed to be protected.

Protected from the danger being around him could bring.

She sighed as the end credits rolled, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. “Did you like it?”

He wasn’t sure how to tell her he’d barely paid any attention to the movie on screen, much to busy thinking about her, so he just nodded.

“I’m glad. I’m… happy I got to spend this time with you.”

She held onto his hand, a sad smile on her lips. He wanted to cup her cheeks and wipe that sad smile away more than anything.

But did he really have the right to when he was the reason for her sadness?

Kurapika patted her head. “I did too. We should get going to bed, though.”

(Name) but her lip, staring down at her lap.

“Kurapika?”

He paused. She sounded soft, vulnerable. He didn’t often hear that in her voice.

“Yes?”

Her eyes met his, the beginnings of tears tucked away in the corners.

“Will I… will I ever seen you again after you leave?”

A stab in the chest would have been easier to handle than that question. Kurapika stuttered, his eyes looking away from hers.

“I…”

He couldn’t answer her, not when his answer would only make her cry. Kurapika hated seeing her tears.

“…”

(Name) pulled away from him, hugging herself tight. It hurt him to see her so small, like she could shrink into nothing at any second.

“You’re really important to me, you know? Even if… even if you hate me. I…”

Tears began to fall down her cheeks, collecting on the throw blanket they’d been sharing.

“(Name)…”

He reached out to wipe away her tears, but stopped midway.

“I don’t…”

“I can’t stand you! You’re weak, you can’t do anything right!”

Kurapika pulled his hand back and held it against his chest. ‘Do I have the right to comfort her when I said such awful things?’

“(Name)?”

Killua poked his head out of his bedroom door, his blue eyes scanning the room until they landed on (Name). He ran forward and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I heard you from my room…”

Killua sent a glare Kurapika’s way before pulling her off the couch and towards the bathroom. “You need to wash off that face mask before you break out.”

She only nodded, glancing back at Kurapika before the bathroom door closed behind her.

The blonde stared at the closed door, clutching the fabric of his shirt so tightly it ripped.

‘She thinks I hate her… maybe it’s for the best.’

Kurapika stood, walking towards the TV to turn it off. On a table by the TV was a framed photo, Kurapika’s eyes widening when he took a closer look.

It was a picture of the entire group chatting about their plan in the hotel during York New.

‘Did (Name) take this?’

She wasn’t in the picture, Kurapika feeling a little disappointed. But that was quickly changed when he saw there were several photos of various members of the group framed, some of just him alone.

‘She… she put these up even after what happened…’

Kurapika bit his lip so hard it bled. She wanted to remember him when he was smiling, looking at her with those soft eyes he always seemed to have when she was around.

“…”

Kurapika walked to his room and closed the door behind him.

———————

(Name) and Killua sat at the kitchen table, Gon fixing himself a bowl of cereal by the fridge.

“Remember boys, todays a rest day, so no getting into any trouble.”

She sipped on her coffee, looking around the house. It was a mess, meaning she’d need to clean before she even thought about leaving for the beach.

Kurapika left his room, wandering into the kitchen while rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“Good morning…”

He yawned into his hand as he made himself a cup of coffee then sat down at the table next to (Name). “Good morning, Kurapika.”

She gave him a smile, before standing up and taking her cup with her upstairs. “We’ll all be resting today, Kurapika. Of course, you can do what you want, but the rest of us are going to catch up on some sleep and indulge in our interests.”

He nodded, still waking up as she left for her room. Once she was out of earshot, Killua scoffed.

“You sure fucked up last night. Do you enjoy making (Name) cry?”

Oh, Kurapika and forgotten about last night’s events. And he’d just sat down next to her like nothing had happened.

“… I didn’t mean to make her cry.”

“You never do.”

Gon sat down with them at the table, munching on his cereal. “Hmm? What were y’all talking about?”

Killua sighed. “Nothing of importance to Kurapika, apparently.”

Kurapika finished his coffee in silence. ‘Less than a week I’ll be gone and out of her hair. She’ll… she’ll forget about me eventually.’

But the thought of her forgetting about him and moving on with a different man made him feel sick.

“Kurapika, you should come to the creek with us today! We’re releasing the fish we saved last week.”

Kurapika tilted his head. “You want me to come with you?”

Gon nodded. “Yeah, it would be fun! We could even have a picnic! (Name) always packs us lunches when we go out to the creek all day.”

Killua groaned. “But Gon, going to the creek is our thing!”

The blonde raised an eyebrow. “I have my own things to do today.”

“Like what?”

Kurapika scowled. “I have phone calls to make.”

“What kind of phone calls?”

“… important ones.”

Gon tilted his head, and Killua sighed. “There are no phone calls, are there?”

Kurapika stayed quiet.

“Alright, so he’s coming with us then!”

It seemed like Kurapika didn’t have much of a choice, so he downed his coffee and left to get dressed.

——————

(Name) began packing the three lunches in the kitchen. Gon and Killua had left to grab some buckets from the garage, leaving Kurapika and (Name) alone.

He lingered in the kitchen, watching her from a distance. She finished packing their lunches before turning to him with a shy smile.

“Hey um… about last night…”

Kurapika froze in his spot, nearly dropping his cup of coffee.

“I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you those questions. You don’t have to tell me anything, and I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Kurapika blinked. ‘Is she… is she apologizing? No…’

“Even if you… hate me… I won’t hold it against you, you’re still always welcome here.”

‘Stop. Don’t say those things. Don’t.’

“So… just forget about what I said. Let’s just enjoy whatever time we have together!”

She gave him a final smile before the front door opened. Killua and Gon walked in carrying buckets.

“It’s show time. Kurapika, I hope you know how to work a pole.”

“A what!?”

“A fishing pole.”

(Name) held a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Kurapika just sighed and followed them out the door, carrying their packed lunches with them.

“Make sure you keep up, we will leave you behind.”

“Killua! No we won’t, that isn’t nice.”

Kurapika didn’t respond, only focusing on memorizing the route to the creek. If Killua did end up leaving him behind, he’d have no trouble finding his way back.

They arrived at the creek, Gon and Killua instantly releasing the fish they’d saved last week.

“During a few weeks in the summer, the creek goes down and a lot of the fish die. Me and Killua will catch as many as we can then release them when the creek is full again.”

‘That sounds like eco-terrorism.’

Killua tossed Kurapika a fishing pole, the blonde catching it immediately. “Do you know how to fish?”

“Yes, Killua. I’ve had to fish to feed myself on numerous occasions.”

Killua scoffed. “Yeah, sure. We’re going to be surprising (Name) with fish for dinner tonight, so make sure to use your ‘skills’ and catch as much fish as you can.”

The two frowned at each other before Gon stepped in between them. “Hey, let’s save our energy for the fishing!”

Killua was the first to catch a fish, holding it up with a proud smile.

“Oh, I’ll get a picture for (Name)!”

He snapped a picture of Killua holding up his first catch.

‘Why does she need a picture of him holding a fish?’ Kurapika thought, before turning his attention back to his own fishing pole.

A few hours passed, Kurapika being the only one without a single catch.

“Didn’t you say you were good at fishing, blondie?”

The blonde huffed. “I didn’t say I was good, I said I knew how to fish.”

“Then do it?”

Kurapika dropped his pole to the ground and began to walk off.

“Killua, don’t anta… antony…”

“Antagonize him?”

“Yeah!”

Killua sighed. “Hey, blondie, get back here! Don’t you want to do something nice for (Name) after making her cry last night?”

The blonde stopped in his tracks. “… would bringing home fish… make her feel better?”

“She always gets happy when we bring home fish! Well, at least fish to eat.”

Kurapika walked back over and sat by the creek again, picking up his pole and inspecting it.

“Killua.”

The white haired boy walked over. “Yeees?”

“Why is there a gummy worm on my hook?”

“For good luck of course!”

Kurapika threw the gummy worm into the dirt. “I hate you.”

“Feelings mutual, blondie.”

————————

After placing an actual worm on his hook, Kurapika was able to catch several fish. Of course, it wasn’t very easy. He had to climb down into the creek with a net to catch them, slipping on the mud and falling in several times.

The walk back home was humiliating.

Kurapika’s hair was wet, with leaves and little sticks clinging to his blonde locks. His tabard and shirt were slung over his shoulder.

Killua and Gon didn’t look much better. The two looked like they’d been mud wrestling.

‘I mean technically Gon did wrestle that alligator… still don’t know how he won.’

Said boy was holding the buckets they brought, all full of fish of varying species.

Kurapika recognized most of them, besides the strange… sea urchin thing? Did it have eyes? Oh god it was looking at him.

The blonde faced forward. All he knew is he was NOT eating that.

“(Name) is going to be so happy! Oh Gon, I told you to throw that thing back.”

He pointed to the sea urchin thing. “Oh, I’m keeping this one as a pet. I’m naming him Hanzo!”

‘(Name) won’t like that. Her and Hanzo hated each other.’

Kurapika thought back to their time fixing the boat before the 4th phase. Hanzo and (Name) butted heads a lot, often because Hanzo didn’t know what personal space was.

He remembered when he fell and hit his head, and she stayed with him through the night, even though she herself was in pain.

‘She’s always been there for me…’

Kurapika was glad they’d reached (Name)’s house, because he didn’t want to think about how often she’d saved his ass and helped him through tough times.

Would he have done the same for her?

———————

“Oh wow, look at all this fish! You sure caught a lot, didn’t you?”

The two boys smiled wide as she cooed and gave them hugs, praising them. “Fried fish sound good to you two?”

“Mhm! With fries!”

(Name) giggled, patting Gon’s head. “Of course.”

Her face always took on a different form when she was looking at the two boys. While she was almost always soft and gentle, it was like her soft nature intensified tenfold when they were around.

Killua seemed pretty attached to her. Had he been that way when he’d last seen them in York New? Kurapika couldn’t remember him seeming so content in her presence.

“Kurapika, I heard you caught a lot too. You did a great job.”

Something about her praising him made his heart race. It almost made him feel giddy.

“Oh, um… it was no trouble.”

Killua scoffed next to him. ‘He’s awful at hiding how happy she makes him.’

Kurapika wasn’t surprised at how easily she was able to descale and gut the fish. During the Hunter Exam, she’d been the one feeding him and Leorio when they were stranded on that boat.

“Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes. You boys go wash up. You can use my bathroom, it’s bigger.”

The three trudged up the stairs, dropping their muddy clothes into her hamper.

(Name)’s bathroom was big, it had both a bath tub and shower. The two boys started the bath before jumping into the shower.

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you two getting too old to be bathing together?”

Killua raised an eyebrow. “We’re both guys, why does it matter? Plus Gon can’t wash his hair by himself. He always gets soap in his eyes.”

“Usually Aunt Mito or (Name) comes in and helps, but Killua does it when they can’t.”

They rinsed off a majority of the mud before jumping in the soapy bath. Kurapika sighed.

‘She babies them too much. He can’t wash the soap out of his hair? Isn’t he 14 already?’

Kurapika made sure that the two weren’t paying attention when he pulled his own clothes off and stepped into the shower.

There was a pink loofa, several soaps and body scrubs, and shampoo on the shelves.

‘Oh, I forgot to grab my shampoo…’

He shrugged and picked up her bottle, squirting some of the shampoo into his hand before rubbing it into his hair.

Kurapika would never get used to how his body reacted to anything that reminded him of her. Sometimes it was arousal, and sometimes a soothing feeling settled over him.

Like now.

He felt his tired muscles relax when he began to run her soap into his skin. He thought about using her loofa, the fluffy pink thing tempting, but he decided not to. Using her soap was one thing, using the object she rubbed all over her naked body was another.

Oh no, now he was thinking about her taking a shower. (Name) rubbing herself with the loofa, humming to herself as the suds washed away to reveal her breasts and bare p-

Kurapika’s eyes snapped open. He couldn’t think about that, not now. He tucked away those thoughts for later, when he could think about her in the privacy of his bedroom.

Kurapika let the suds rinse away, staring down at his naked body. He had a few new scars from recent missions, and he was still a bit underweight. (Name)’s meals were certainly helping him come back to his normal weight, but just a few weeks wouldn’t cause any major changes.

He wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping out.

‘Oh. I didn’t bring any clothes up either.’

Kurapika was about to sigh and take a walk of shame down the stairs when he spotted a pile of folded clothes on the counter.

On top was a pair of his pajamas. He picked up the shirt and sniffed it, sighing when he could smell the lingering scent of (Name)’s perfume.

‘She brought us a change of clothes?’

He put the clothes on and wrapped his towel around his neck. ‘Maybe she’ll dry my hair for me again…’

Kurapika allowed himself this small amount of happiness.

He glanced to where the boys were in the bathtub, nearly laughing when he saw them playing with random bath toys. It was a rare sight, Killua smiling and acting like the kid he really was.

Kurapika let them have their fun, walking out the bathroom door and closing it behind him. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, (Name) was waiting for him.

“Come on.”

She pulled him to the living room and had him sit on the floor as she dried his hair. “You know, your hair is looking a lot better. Maybe you should just start using my shampoo.”

He didn’t answer, his eyes closed and his head leaning against her knees as her fingers ran through his hair. It was relaxing, and Kurapika was realizing that he really liked his hair being played with.

“You’ve got such pretty hair, Kurapika. I’m glad you’re taking better care of it.”

She finished drying his hair, running her fingers through it one last time.

“… you’re too kind, (Name).”

She hummed. “So I’ve heard, but I don’t think anyone can be too kind.”

‘You can, (Name).’

He remembered the way her face dropped during one of their arguments in York New. Kurapika was so sure after that, he’d never see her smile at him again.

But here she was, letting him lean against her knees as she dried his hair. Him, the man who broke her heart and called her so many mean names. She was doing this for him.

And part of him hated her for it.

“I need to get back to cooking. Will you tell Killua and Gon dinner will be ready in five minutes?”

Kurapika stood. “Of course.”

——————

(Name) dried both of the two boy’s hair as Kurapika made his plate.

“Oh, I cut up some fruit too! It’s sitting in the fridge, could you take it out for me, sweetheart?”

He paused, but recovered quickly. “On it.”

He glanced to the group as he pulled the bowl out. Gon was waiting patiently at (Name)’s feet as Killua got his hair dried.

“All done, go and make your plate.”

Killua stood and Gon too his place.

“I got my hands full with all of you, ya know?”

She squeezed Gon’s cheek, who laughed. “Sorry, but you’re the best at drying hair!”

“Haha, I’m not sure how good of a skill that is to have, but thank you.”

Killua made his plate and sat at the table, farthest away from Kurapika.

“Alright, you’re done.”

Gon jumped up and ran to make his plate, (Name) following behind him. “I’m starving! I could eat all of this!”

(Name) giggled. “You can have as much as you want after I make my plate.”

The four ate dinner, Gon and Killua recounting the fun day they had. It didn’t take long for them to finish their food, the two yawning.

“I think it’s about time for bed. Why don’t you two watch some TV for a bit then get some sleep? I’m gonna go shower.”

She placed her plate in the dishwasher, closing it before sighing. “We’ve got to go shopping then leave for the cabin tomorrow evening. It’ll be a long day, so get plenty of rest.”

“Yes, (Name)!”

Gon gave her a hug before she went upstairs. Kurapika noticed Killua watching her go.

The white haired boy looked… anxious? He was playing with drawstring of his sleeveless hoodie and tapping his foot.

‘Did something happen?’

Kurapika decided not to pry, instead sitting on the far end of the couch and watching some cartoon movie with the two.

He enjoyed spending time with them as well, even if Killua was a bit rude. Kurapika didn’t hold it against him. Mostly.

“Killua, we should get going. It’s getting late.”

Gon pulled Killua to his feet and started to lead him to their shared room.

“… alright.”

The two left, Gon leaving the door cracked open behind him.

‘I should sleep as well. With them, there’s no telling how exhausting tomorrow may be.’

The blonde entered his room and closed the door behind him. If he wanted to sleep, he’d need to jerk off first. He didn’t want to have another wet dream, it made it hard to be around (Name) after.

Though, jerking off to the thought of her didn’t make him feel much better. Besides the overwhelming amount of pleasure, that is.

———————

Kurapika awoke to the sound of someone sneaking down the hallway. A normal person would have never noticed this, but the blonde was far from normal.

He tiptoed to his door and peeked out, spotting Killua running up the stairs.

Kurapika would have ignored it and gone back to bed, but the brief glance he’d gotten from Killua’s face made him worry.

He looked absolutely terrified, something Kurapika had never seen in Killua before.

The blonde concealed his aura, waiting a moment before walking upstairs as well. By then, Killua was long gone, the only indication of where he’d gone being (Name)’s door, left cracked open.

“Killua? Shh, it’s okay.”

Kurapika could hear (Name) talking in a low, soothing voice. He peeked through the crack in the door to see Killua holding onto her, his head on her shoulder. He was blubbering nonsense, his tears soaking into her tshirt.

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you alone again, promise.”

‘Leave him alone again? What is she talking about?’

“It… it happened again. Another nightmare about when you…”

(Name) shushed him and scooted over. “Come on, it’s late. You can just sleep with me tonight.”

Killua climbed in without a second thought, clinging onto her like a child would his mother.

“I thought this might happen. You were anxious tonight, right?”

Killua nodded slowly as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Yes… sometimes I remember that day and… can’t stop thinking about it.”

She sighed. “I really wish you would let me enroll you in some therapy. Could do you some good.”

Killua was silent, (Name) realizing he’d fallen asleep. She hummed softly and continued to play with his hair until she fell asleep too.

Kurapika watched the two with soft eyes. She was holding onto him so tenderly, even in her sleep. It was clear the two had bonded greatly between the time Kurapika had seen them last.

‘And… they’re hiding something from me. Something big enough to have traumatized Killua.’

He walked back down the stairs, spotting Gon standing in the hallway.

“Did Killua go to sleep with (Name)?” Gon asked. Kurapika nodded.

“Yes, they’re both asleep now.”

Gon sighed, pushing some hair out of his face. “Sometimes Killua wakes up from some awful nightmares, and the only one that can calm him down is (Name). Something… something happened. I’m not sure what, but Killua was really hurt by whatever it was, and he won’t tell me.”

Kurapika reached out a hand to pat Gon’s shoulder. “It’s not easy telling others about the things that have hurt you. It may take him a while, but I’m sure he’ll open up to you eventually.”

‘If I was around a little longer, maybe they would tell me too.’

He walked back to bed after saying goodnight to Gon. It was 1 am now, meaning he’d have to be up in four hours for a few phone calls before leaving to go shopping with the group.

——————

“Alright everyone, let’s split up to cover more ground. Killua, you’re coming with me. Kurapika, Gon is with you.”

The group were at a local grocery store. Killua had been quiet all morning, clinging to (Name)’s side sleepily.

“I’ll text you the grocery list, okay?”

Kurapika nodded. (Name) walked away hand in hand with Killua, laughing when he leaned against her. ��Aww, still sleepy? You can take a nap when we get home.”

The two watched them leave before Kurapika sighed. “He sure is being clinging today.”

Gon nodded, placing a box of cereal into the shopping cart. “Yeah, he usually is after he’s had a nightmare. It’s like he’s scared she’ll disappear or something.”

Kurapika bit his lip. ‘Does his nightmare have something to do with (Name)?’

Kurapika jumped at the sound of his phone going off, realizing it was just the grocery list (Name) had sent them.

The two finished the list easily, meeting back up with the two at the cash register. They checked out, and drove home.

“Okay, I’m going to pick up Leorio, you boys start packing your bags. Killua, you go get a nap. I’ll pack your bag later.”

Killua shook his head and held onto her sleeve. “I’ll go with you.”

Kurapika blinked at the way (Name)’s eyes softened, her hand cupping his cheek. “Oh, of course. Come on.”

He followed her to the mom van, climbing into the front seat.

Kurapika and Gon watched them leave. “It must of been bad for him to still be so clingy.” Gon said, a worried look on his face.

Kurapika nodded.

The two left to pack in their respective rooms. Kurapika packed using the small black suitcase gifted to him by (Name).

Killua and (Name) were back within 30 minutes, Leorio with them now. He seemed to be talking softly with (Name) and Killua, having that same soft look (Name) had when Killua had a nightmare.

‘Leorio must know as well.’ Kurapika thought, frowning.

He knew that they all had grown closer while he was gone, but they’d never been the types to keep secrets from him. Kurapika couldn’t be angry though, he kept plenty of secrets from them.

Leorio walked in, pulling a suitcase behind him. “I haven’t been to the beach since the Hunter Exam! I can’t wait!”

(Name) giggled, Killua following close behind her. He kept a hand on her shirt, and hadn’t said a word since he said he was coming with her earlier.

“I ordered some takeout for dinner. Let’s all do some cleaning up before we have to leave in a few hours. I’ll be folding laundry.”

She handed out brooms and gloves to everyone as she went and sat on the couch, beginning to fold the laundry she had recently washed.

Killua lied his head on her lap and slept as she folded. No one complained, it seemed everyone could tell he’d had a rough night.

“Are you excited, Gon? I know you come from an island but-“

“Yep, I’m very excited!! Last time (Name) took us to the beach, Killua got super sunburnt, it was pretty funny.”

Kurapika snickered. ‘So he gets sunburnt easily?’

“I don’t think you have any right to be laughing when you’re as pasty as Killua.”

Kurapika blinked at Leorio. “Oh. I guess you’re not wrong, I have been… inside more lately, I guess. No time to get a tan.”

He glanced at himself in the mirror again. Slowly fading dark circles under his eyes, a pale face. He didn’t find himself particularly attractive, he wandered why (Name) had called him pretty so many times.

“Well you’ll have plenty of time to soak in the sun when we’re at the beach!” Gon clapped him on the back, smiling.

“You always know how to cheer someone up, Gon.”

The blonde ruffled Gon’s hair as he laughed.

“Alright you two, get to work. I don’t want (Name) having to pick up your slack.”

Gon and Kurapika stuck their tongues out at Leorio before starting their work.

———————

After eating an early dinner, the group piled into the mom van. Leorio was driving, with Kurapika in the passenger seat. Although killua was doing better after his nap, he still requested that (Name) sit next to him in the car. She didn’t seem to mind at all, something that made Kurapika sigh softly.

“Wouldn’t it be more comfortable for you in the front seat? You get motion sickness, right?”

(Name) laughed. “I’m surprised you remembered that, Kurapika, but I’m fine! It’s not that long of a drive anyways.”

He didn’t argue with her, there was no point. When (Name) decided to do something for someone else, it was hard to convince her otherwise.

The group began their drive, Leorio watching the road and singing along to some random pop song on the radio. Kurapika didn’t want to admit it, but he was also excited to spend some time under the sun and in the waves.

It didn’t take long for them to reach their destination, just two hours.

The group left the mom van and began to unpack.

“Why did we bring groceries with us? Couldn’t we just shop here?” Gon asked as he carried the ice chest inside.

“Well this place probably has higher prices because of how many tourists there are, so it’s better to bring food from home.”

Kurapika nodded. “Yes, that makes sense. I’m glad you thought of that, (Name).”

She perked up from his compliment, happily strolling inside with Killua close behind.

The cabin was nice, with three bedrooms. The first was the master bedroom, with a queen sized bed, bathroom, and walk in closet.

“This one is mine!” (Name) said with a smile. No one argued.

The second room had two queen sized beds and a large dresser.

The third room had a bunk bed, a trunk full of beach toys, and a small bathroom,

“There’s also an extra bathroom down the hall, with a shower and bath.”

Of course, Killua and Gon claimed the bunk beds immediately, leaving Kurapika and Leorio with the second room.

“Everyone get unpacked and sleep. We’re getting up early tomorrow!”