#and tomorrow i am SWAMPED
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Just a little PSA- I didn’t have time to edit tomorrow’s All the King’s Horses chapter tonight and I have fifty thousand things do to tomorrow, I’m going to try really hard to get it edited and posted tomorrow, but if not I will have it up on Saturday! I’m so sorry!!
#allylikethecat#ally’s thoughts#ally’s creative process#or lack there of#ally status update#that no one asked for or cares about#but i care and its my blog so im sharing lol#all the king’s horses#equestrian au#not gonna lie i kinda forgot that i didnt edit it/finalize it#and i went to save the draft and was like oh… oh no#and i dont have time to like sit and fix it all tonight#and tomorrow i am SWAMPED#i’m going to try and get it done#but i’m really sorry it will probably be up on Saturday instead#i know like there is only like what five of us that care about this one lol#but equestrian fictional!matty and fictional!george are my current favorites#and i feel bad i didnt get them finished properly this week
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still thinking of my fave marvel rivals interaction where my jeff and i were hanging on the point after knocking out the other team and lil bro sprays the space in front of me and emotes and we both said thank you at the same time like i fear im never forgetting that ever
#marvel rivals#snap chats#i made the strangest delighted sound afterwards dare i say it was wholesome 😭almost cried sorry im a big baby#of course afterwards we had to go back to Murder but still ... ill never forget you my finny friend....#havent had an exp like that since .... i hope to tho ...#closest i got is sometimes my wanda will look me up and down- maybe strafe a lil but thats about it#wait no you know what my fave thing is .. i do love Lowkey babying wandas on my team vaeJLKVJAELKJ i am not sorry#LIKE AS A TANK OF COURSE i try to prioritize the main team but if everyones fine ill usually hover around her#i keep an especial eye on her ok listen she gives me big energy sword i give her magnet shields its MUTUALISM#anyway i wanted to draw the jeff story out but i keep getting swamped with stuff so. alas. youll just have to imagine#if it helps jeff was wearin the dolphin costume and yeah i threw up from cuteness. esp with the lil beach ball ....#Big Ass Scary Magneto and lil baby jeff simultaneous Thank You ... its the little things i fear ...#a part of it helps that magneto can just sound so Polite with these voice lines LMAO#like his 'Hello' tickles me it's so Hello There :) .. like a distinguished gentleman ... like a grandpa who SOMETIMES gives you a casserole#thats his whole vibe tbh i wanted to make a post bout it- how mags def has Father/Grandfather To All energy and i love it#hes not even the oldest in the roster far from it.. lol.. visually he looks the oldest#if i may quote him tho .. Save Perhaps Thor ... He May Be His Equal in that regard AJELKVJAEKLJ BUT ANYWAY#im off to work on a thing#i should have it done tomorrow and i can finally share it (among other joys) with everyone :]
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Just watched "I Saw The TV Glow" in cinemas and boy did I get chest kicked all the way back to my derealisation episodes when I was like 6 years old.
#movies are a crazy concept#oh yeah this 2 hour long montage of pictures makes me want to melt into a puddle and close my eyes#but alas i am exactly like owen and will continue to wake up in this world and pretend im making the right choices#i saw it with a friend but I don't think she fully realised how much the movie fucked me up#cried twice in cinemas#will probably cry again later#got ice cream after#now i feel empty#but im going out again tomorrow with friends so im excited!!#being here and alive is so strange#i feel like im wading through a swamp and slowly sinking#maybe ill also wake up one day#anways!!#probs wont delete :)#i saw the tv glow#movie review#spoilers#cinema
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quara i'm excited to see what april prank you have this year for mcyt cats. mcyt-cars would be funny but it's hard to beat mcytdogs
i too am excited to see what prank i have this year for mcyt-cats
#UHHHH#lets crowdsource ^-^#i'll probably come up with a silly post though anyway#there's no way that i'm not totally swamped tomorrow and working overtime though. and on tuesday i may have like a 12 hour day lol#tomorrow my biggest worry is a interview with a major local news outlet 🫣#i'm hoping my team lead talks the whole time so i don't have to go on record with the press bc i am Afraid to#quara asks
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Considering pulling a "no sleep" work day tomorrow just for this last show... I've done it before. I can do it again.
#personal#I've done it more times then I'd like to admit actually...#I fucking hate the fact that I have to be up for work at 3 AM. Not just now but like everyday!#It fucks with my sleep schedule so bad and if I can't fall asleep before like 11 PM I know I'm fucked.#Getting off at 2 PM is the silver lining but at what cost?!#Tomorrow is Monday though (and usually I'm swamped) but I CAN blame it on being just that if I get bitchy...
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huzzah. I have defeated the beast.
#dbd#thoughts about media#and even after all of this I still want to draw more dbd art.#there is no hope for me <3#no joke. I already have a timelapse in the making for a solo piece of hux.#it's a way. WAY more simple piece than this-- this-- goliath.#but also perhaps my most unashamedly lustful artwork of hux yet-- so huxfuckers rejoice!#if I am not swamped with work in the next two days and feel okay I might even be able to crank that art & video out for saturday.#seeing as that is the day that hux's delightfully violent self came into being.#I was going to actually play dbd tonight but it's now 4 am so I guess it will have to wait until tomorrow lol#time to pass out while thinking of the 4 million other things I want. but do not have time. to draw OTL
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🎵 Sonic Instrumental Matchup - Round 1 Poll Brackets 🎵
After 429 nominations, 64 songs have made it into the tournament!
What is the ultimate instrumental song from the Sonic franchise? Let's find out!
Find the round 1 matchups here
All matchups will be here
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic instrumental matchup#round 1#so many songs didn't make it including a few of my favourites I am so sad#not going to post more than 8 polls a day to not swamp everyone#first polls are tomorrow
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Can you BELIEVE I haven’t drawn my boy since *checks notes* January?
#amalia's art#moby dick#art#artists on tumblr#whale weekly#fanart#anyway how are you guys doing?#I am swamped with assignments and things to get done and εξετασ��ική is coming up :)#BUT I did make an animatic for one of my labs which I might upload tomorrow if everything goes well :D#it’s a ghost quartet animatic and I had fun making it#definitely one of the more enjoyable assignments to have done this semester#ishmael#moby-dick#moby dick the musical#moby dick musical#dimitris papadimitriou
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ty for giffing some of the sweeter lokius scenes! everyone's reunion fanart is beautiful and hopeful then finale gifs make me cry again lol. it's nice to remember how many romantic moments we got 💚💛
Oh that's very kind of you to say and I can certainly relate! Was planning to rewatch the entire Loki series but keep getting caught up in Lokius being separated for now when all they've wanted is to be together working towards good so might pivot into going back through Owen's filmography instead for some much needed and guaranteed happiness 😅💖
If it helps Loki Appreciation Week is coming up soon, Dec 11th-17th, and I'm sure there will be plenty of love going around for everyone's favorite eps and moments! I'm going to be following my own lead from airing and giffing the first thing that pops into mind each day like a speedrun so can't promise zero angst but will definitely be trying to keep the majority more fun and romantic to celebrate what most of the season felt like to me 🥰
#tysm for an ask that made me smile and hope you're enjoying plenty of moments between them as we speak!#ngl i still have to talk myself out of pure devastation on a daily basis lmao but then remember they've given me more than a ship ever has#and i'll always believe there will be communication/contact between them in small ways until they reunite so here's to hope and love 💖#also wish me luck the daily giffing approach doesn't fail miserably bc it worked so well while s2 aired that i'm gonna risk it all again lo#lots of love to you and hope your weekend's been wonderful 💕#(p.s. anon who requested a set if you see this i'll hopefully be finished tomorrow!! am swamped irl but back on track soon)#ask
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I genuinely can neither understand nor believe that my graduate life in which we were told not to commit to anything extracurricular because of how busy we would be is more relaxed and calm than my undergraduate where we were told we shouldn’t complain about the amount of homework and make sure to do extracurriculars/more classes or else you won’t be employable—
#jonniejonniejonquil#this is WILD GENUINELY#I went. to a guest lecture. AND two bookstores today. AND the library#but not for class? for? fun!?!?#it’s 2:30 pm and I have nothing else to do#I have already sent out my emails for the day and all my homework#and I have to do laundry but I have no classes tomorrow so am doing it then#I just??? am??? free???#like I can do work on my applications for dphil or work WAY ahead on my dissertation#but I’m??? NOT??? SWAMPED???#I feel like I don’t know what to do with myself???
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getting so so fed up with the fact that i can't stop my phone from updating. it's killed my sleep tracker apps multiple times just bc of a stupid security update. it wakes me up in the middle of the night (today it was at 3:30am!) by turning on FULL BRIGHTNESS WHITE SCREENS (when i literally never ever go past even 10% brightness on this thing and often need MULTIPLE dimmer apps when the page is all white). on multiple occasions it's updating in the middle of watching a video or even in the middle of a brushstroke in an UNSAVED drawing. it disables every single notification until i interact with it so calls and alarms literally just don't go through whatsoever. it never warns me with a notification it just updates out of nowhere. it makes half of my apps super fucking buggy every time. i fucking hate technology nowadays why do i have to literally break my phone's warranty and fuck with its internals and possibly brick the entire device just so it doesn't disable my fucking alarms and force me to miss important calls and appointments THAT COST ME OVER 100$ ON NO-SHOW BTW
#I'm just glad it did this TODAY and not. tomorrow. when I'm going to NEED to be woken up VERY VERY EARLY#because early voting was so swamped i was physically unable to do so#the lines were so long in VERY physically inaccessible areas so even though i had my wheelchair i wouldn't have been able to wait in line#not to mention the sun and heat would make me sick very very quickly#i was already getting sick while in an AIR CONDITIONED vehicle just bc i was directly in the sunlight#it's 4:30 am for me rn#and i have a headache and am exhausted#but bc I've slept more than 4 hours it's physically impossible for me to go back to sleep so. hooray. fuck me ig#and i can't just. like. cover my phone screen so it doesn't bother me#bc. my alarms have to work SOMEHOW. and since i literally am incapable of sleeping without earplugs now#i HAVE to use my alarm the same way my mom does (she's Deaf so she NEEDS it to be brightly flashing)#and i can't use my phone flashlight for it bc it genuinely hurts my eyes so goddamn bad#this is the only thing that works that doesn't actually hurt me in some way i DO NOT have alternatives#I've tried the lamp alarm like my mom has but it gives me migraines#bc it's flashing from solid complete darkness to full brightness so fast it just hurts so bad#and bc I've got a mold issue in this apartment my migraines get triggered by the tiniest fucking things now#even just a few minutes of walking out of my room while my mom's lamp is going off can set it off it's annoying
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AAAAAH THE BUGS
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kind of going insane. um
#i am so stressed arghhhhhhh#not anxious but stressed. stressed bc i actually need to be stressed#anyway tho my last day of finals is tomorrow and then a new semester <3#i have much easier workload so ill have time to focus on my exams and such which makes me feel more hopeful#bc lately ive been SWAMPED in homework and sports and it just. is kind of miserable
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THREE ACTIVITIES DOWN, TWO MORE TO GO.
#who cares if the deadline is tomorrow i am not spending another cramming session with this shit#i just wanna sleep#it's the second week of the school year and we're already swamped#help me#personal!!
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Private equity rips off its investors, too
I'm coming to DEFCON! TOMORROW (Aug 9), I'm emceeing the EFF POKER TOURNAMENT (noon at the Horseshoe Poker Room), and appearing on the BRICKED AND ABANDONED panel (5PM, LVCC - L1 - HW1–11–01). On SATURDAY (Aug 10), I'm giving a keynote called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification" (noon, LVCC - L1 - HW1–11–01).
It's amazing how many of the scams that have devastated our economy and everyday people owe their success to the fact that we assume that rich people know what they're doing, so if they're doing something, it must be real.
Think of how many people lost everything by gambling on junk bonds, exotic mortgage derivatives, cryptocurrency and web3, because they saw that the largest financial institutions in the world were going all-in on these weird, incomprehensible bets.
Then there are the people who are convinced that online advertising is built around a mind-control ray, because tech companies claim that's what they have ("I am an evil dopamine-loop-hacking wizard and I can sell anything to anyone!"), and because huge, sober blue-chip companies hand billions to these soi dissant svengalis. Sure, online ads are a swamp of clickfraud and garbage, but would these super smart captains of industry spend so much on online advertising if it didn't work super-well?
http://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism
From our worms'-eye-view here on the ground, it's easy to assume that rich people and the people who sell them stuff are all on the same side. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product," right? If Facebook is tormenting you with surveillance advertising, it must be doing so on behalf of the surveillance advertisers, for whom Mark Zuckerberg has bottomless reservoirs of honest, forthright impulses.
The reality is simultaneously weirder, and obvious in hindsight. The reason Zuck is tormenting you is that he's a remorseless sociopath who doesn't care who he hurts. He rips off everyone he can rip off, and that includes advertisers, who have seen steady price-hikes and lower-fidelity targeting, even as ad-fraud has skyrocketed while Facebook draws down its anti-fraud spending:
https://www.404media.co/where-facebooks-ai-slop-comes-from/
This is not to say that Facebook advertisers have your best interests at heart, that they aren't engaged in active deception in order to better themselves at your expense. Rather, it's to say that there's no honor among thieves, and Zuck is an equal-opportunity predator. Moreover, both Zuck and his advertisers are credulous dolts, so the mere fact that they are pouring money into something (advertisers: FB ads; Zuck: metaverse) it doesn't follow that these are real or important or the coming thing.
For me, the Ur-example of "rich people are dumb, even when it comes to money" is the private equity sector. I've written a lot about PE, and how destructive it is to the real economy, from Toys R Us to pet grooming:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/05/rugged-individuals/#misleading-by-analogy
How they killed Red Lobster:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/23/spineless/#invertebrates
And how they actually created the death panels that Sarah Palin warned us about (it's OK, though: these death panels are run by the efficient private sector, not government bureaucrats):
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/26/death-panels/#what-the-heck-is-going-on-with-CMS
The devastating effect of private equity on the real economy is increasingly well understood, and a curious side-effect of this is that people assume that if PE is destroying their lives, they must be doing so on behalf of their investors, who are making bank.
But – like Zuck – PE bosses are just as happy to steal from their investors as they are to to steal from the workers and customers of the businesses they acquire on those investors' behalf. They swaddle this theft in performative complexity and specialized jargon, but when you strip all that away, you find more fraud.
All the misery that PE inflicts on workers, communities and customers are just a convincer in a Big Store con, a bid to make the scam seem credible. For a certain kind of investor, any economic activity that destroys communities and workers' livelihoods must be a good bet. This is the dynamic at work in the pitch of AI image-generator companies, who spend tens of billions on technology that there is no substantial market for:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/25/accountability-sinks/#work-harder-not-smarter
AI image generators represent a high-profile, extremely visible example of "a job that AI can do." Nevermind that AI illustration went from a novelty to a tired cliche in less than a year. Even if you think that AI illustrations are a perfect substitute for commercial illustrations, that still won't come anywhere near making AI companies a profit. Add up the entire wage bill for every commercial illustrator in the world, hand it to Open AI, and you're not even gonna cover the kombucha budget for Open AI's staff kitchens.
Hell, all the wages of every commercial illustrator that ever lived won't pay back even a fraction of the money the AI companies spent on image generators. The pauperization of an entire class of creative workers is just a canned demo, a way to fool investors into thinking that there is a whole universe of similarly situated workers whose wages can be diverted to AI companies. This is the logic of small-time spammers, scaled up to the scale of the entire S&P 500. Smalltime spammers looked at AI and thought, "OK, I can generate as much botshit as I want on demand for free. Science fiction magazines pay $0.10/word. So if I generate a billion words, I'll get $100 million." But that's not how any of that works: sf magazines don't buy botshit, and even if they did, the entire market for short fiction adds up to what Sam Altman spends on a single designer t-shirt. The point of destroying these beloved, useful things isn't to make a lot of money by taking their markets – it's to convince dopey, panicked rich people to give you lots of money you can steal, because they think you can do this to every market and they don't want to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week
Take "divi recaps": after a private equity firm acquires a company (by borrowing money against its assets), it typically declares a "special dividend," emptying out the company's cash reserves and pocketing them. A "divi recap" is when PE then takes out another massive loan against the company's (remaining) assets and pockets that:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/17/divi-recaps/#graebers-ghost
All of this happens under an opaque cloud, thanks to the light-to-nonexistent disclosure rules for PE. A public company has to open its books for the SEC, its investors, and the world. PE is private – and so are its finances. It is absolutely routine for PE bosses to put their spouses, kids, and pals on the payroll and hand them millions for doing little to nothing, all at the expense of their investors:
https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2022/02/sec-set-to-lower-massive-boom-on-private-equity-industry.html
PE bosses charge huge fees to their investors – not merely the usual 2-and-20 (2% of the funds under management and 20% of any profits) – but also a wide variety of special one-off fees that pile to the sky. They also dip into their investors' funds to issue themselves massive loans that they use to make side-bets, without telling the investors about it:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/10/monopoly-begets-monopoly/#gary-gensler
PE investors are chickens ripe for the plucking: take "continuation funds," which allow PE bosses to soak the rich people and pension funds who supply them with billions:
https://news.bloomberglaw.com/mergers-and-acquisitions/matt-levines-money-stuff-buyout-funds-buy-from-themselves
Remember 2-and-20? 2% of all the money you manage, every year, and 20% of all the profits. You'd think that these would be somewhat zero sum, right? If you use some of your investors' cash to buy a company, and then sell off that company for a profit, you get the 20%, but now the pot of money you're managing has gone down by the amount you used to buy the company, and so your 2% carry goes down, too.
But what if you sell your portfolio companies to yourself, using your investors' own money? When you do that, you continue to hold the company on your PE firm's books, meaning you continue to get the 2% carry, and you can pocket 20% of the sale price as a "profit":
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/20/continuation-fraud/#buyout-groups
This is straight-up fraud, wrapped up in so much jargon that it can successfully masquerade as "financial engineering" ("financial engineering" is really just a euphemism for "fraud"). PE bosses keep coming up with new, exotic ways to steal from their investors. The latest scam is "tax receivable agreements":
https://archive.ph/RczJ9
On its face, this is a tax scam. When a company goes public, early investors generally hold stock in the original partnership or LLC; this company ends up holding a ton of shares in the new, public company. When they sell those non-public shares in the LLC, this creates a (potentially gigantic) tax credit.
A TRA hustle involves tracking down these LLC shareholders and convincing them to sign off on dumping the LLC's shares, which generates a huge tax credit for the public company. The hustler offers to split these credits with the LLC holders.
All of this is especially attractive to PE bosses, who often take a company private, do a bunch of "financial engineering" and then take it public again, leaving the PE firm as the owner of those LLC shares that can be converted to a TRA and a huge windfall – which the PE bosses pocket, because they (not their investors) are holding those credits.
This scam is really doing big numbers. KKR – the monsters who killed Toys R Us – just diverted $650 million in TRA loot, prompting a lawsuit from Steamfitters union pension fund, which had handed these jerks millions of its members' money to gamble with:
https://archive.ph/kqQvI
This highlights another very weird aspect of the PE scam: they are absolutely dependent on pension funds. To add insult to injury, PE funds are notorious union-busters – they use union money to buy companies and destroy their unions:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/05/mr-gotcha/#no-ethical-consumption-under-capitalism
People who try to understand the PE business model often give up, because it seems to make no sense, leading many to assume that they're too unsophisticated to grasp the complex financials here. For example, PE is absolutely dependent on massive loans as a way of looting its businesses, but it also often defaults on those loans. Why do banks and investors keep making huge loans to PE deadbeats? Because – like the PE fund investors – they are credulous dolts.
The reason PE seems like a scam is that it is a scam. It is a fractal scam – every part of it is a scam. You might have heard about the "carried interest" tax loophole that allows PE bosses to avoid billions in taxes on the money they steal from their investors, creditors, workers and customers. Most people assume "carried interest" has something to do with "interest" on a loan. Nope: "carried interest" is a 16th century nautical tax rule designed for mercantalist sea-captains who had an "interest" in the cargo they "carried":
https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/29/writers-must-be-paid/#carried-interest
But rich people and other "sophisticated investors" (like pension fund investment managers) are no smarter than the rest of us. They are herd animals. When they see other rich people piling into some scheme or asset class, they rush to join them, which makes the asset price go up, which makes them think they're smart (until the inevitable rug-pull). When one plute jumps off the Empire State Building, the rest of them jump, too.
Which is why there's more money flooding into PE than at any time in history, $2.62T in "dry powder," handed over to greedy, thieving PE bosses in a poker game where everyone is the sucker at the table:
https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/2di1vzgjcmzovkcea8f0g/portfolio/private-equitys-dry-powder-mountain-reaches-record-height
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/08/sucker-at-the-table/#clucks-definance
#pluralistic#tra#tax receivable asset#financial engineering#private equity#two sided markets#pe#looters#sucker at the table#kkr#debt#dry powder
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hi!! i’ve had this concept in my head for a while and i love your writing style so i thought you would be perfect to ask. so reader is new to the compound, like helping out in the lab but not necessarily on the team, and because of that when she tries forming relationships with people on the team she’s kind of pushed to the side. bucky sees this and feels for her since he was kind of treated the same when he was new, so he starts becoming friends with her and building a relationship with her. then he starts involving her in things the team does like dinners or movie nights. and when they’re around each other the team can obviously see that they like each other as more than friends. you can develop it more from there but that’s kind of the base line for my idea!!
Pairing: Bucky x f!reader
Summary: Being new to the compound isn’t easy, luckily you have a supersoldier on your side
Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, reader wears glasses (no other description of reader though), Bucky thinks reader is cute, Tony is kind of a huge dick, vague implications of smut but no smut (blink and you’ll miss it), I suck at endings, they are in love, no use of Y/N
Word Count: 2.780k
“Hey, uh, Glasses, I need you to run these samples for me.” You look up and see Tony walking into the lab, straight to your table. You look around, not sure if he was talking to you, but you’re alone in the lab, given that it was almost midnight, but you had to finish the reports from the samples that Steve dropped off in the morning.
You were swamped in work, not even taking a lunch break, desperate to finish everything so that you could go back to your room in the compound and take a shower. It felt like you’ve been stuck in the lab for days on end. The Avengers having back to back missions and you being the only lab tech without a family to go home to, you were stuck working insane hours.
“Mr. Stark, can these wait until the morning? I'm still working on the reports from Captain Rogers.” Tony heaves a great sigh, clearly exasperated by your reluctance to do his work, knowing damn well he can run these samples a lot quicker with the help of F.R.I.D.A.Y. but he just doesn’t want to. Might as well make the overworked lab tech do it.
“The old man can wait until tomorrow for his report, just get mine done. If he has a problem, he can take it up with me. Goodnight, Penny.” And just like that, he walks off. You know for sure that he didn’t hear you correct him when he got your name wrong. Honestly, where did he even get Penny from? You’re so stressed you feel like you could cry, which pisses you off more. It made you feel weak when you would cry when you were frustrated but you couldn’t help it.
It's been like this since you got the job at the compound. At first you thought that this would be an amazing opportunity, getting to work side by side with the Avengers. In reality, you stay cooped up in the lab most of the day, getting overworked, and only see the Avengers when they stop by to give you more work.
Of course, you understand that being a superhero is hard work, but a little courtesy goes a long way. It would be a nice change of pace if someone acknowledged your efforts. You push Steve’s reports to the side and start working on Tony’s samples, knowing that this is going to take all night, but you don’t really have a choice. It needs to be done and you’re the only one in the lab.
The sound of the door opening jolts you awake, a piece of paper stuck to your face with drool. “Hey, do you have those reports for me?” You groan and look at Steve. The clock on the wall reads 6:03 AM, ever the early riser, Steve is. You must have fallen asleep sometime last night trying to finish the work Tony gave you, which is just as incomplete as Steve’s reports.
“Sorry, Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark gave me an urgent request that needed priority.” You keep your head down, ashamed to look at him.
“I gave you those samples in the morning. How are the reports not done?” He has his hands on his hips with the disappointed father's look on his face, making you feel even worse. You really are trying your best, but you’re burnt out and can't do everything at once.
“I’m sorry, I’ll have them done by early afternoon. I can drop them off if you’d like?” God, you feel so stupid! Steve just waves you off with a “I’ll come back after lunch for them” and leaves you to your own thoughts.
You get Steve’s reports done before lunch and continue to work on finishing Tony’s when the lab doors open again. Without looking up you slide Steve’s reports to him. “They’re done Captain Rogers.”
“It’s not Steve.” You push your glasses up on your nose and see Bucky standing before your table, quite awkwardly as well, shuffling on his feet with his right hand in his pocket, left hanging down limply at his side.
“Sergeant Barnes, how can I help you?” You’ve always had a crush on Bucky, but he was the only Avenger who hasn’t come into your lab - ever. Matter of fact, he avoids the lab like the plague, which is understandable given that he was experimented on for years.
“It’s my arm, I can’t move it.” After a few seconds of silence he adds on, “The metal one. Usually, I can recalibrate it myself but I think it has something to do with the plates.” He looks so vulnerable; Bucky’s not used to asking for help, rather always helping someone else.
“I can take a look at it if you want.” You assume that’s why he came down to the lab, not just to chit chat with you. He nods and you lead him to a lab chair. “Can you take your shirt off for me?” Bucky’s eyebrows hit his hairline and his jaw drops. “I need to see your arm, Sergeant.” Now both of you are blushing.
It takes him a little while but he gets his shirt off and stares at the floor, embarrassed of the scars surrounding his arm. “Can I touch your arm, Sergeant?” Bucky eyes widen; he’s not used to someone asking permission to touch his arm. If he doesn’t wear his gloves in public, people will stare and point, some even trying to touch his hand to get a better look at the silver arm. Bucky hates it: the arm, the stares, the scars, everything.
He mumbles a confirmation and watches you work on his arm. He thinks you’re cute, with glasses that make your eyes look slightly magnified and how you stick your tongue out when you concentrate. You’ve always hated your glasses, thinking that they make you look bug eyed, but Bucky thinks that it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. There are bags under your eyes, which makes Bucky frown. Stark is overworking you.
After a few minutes you look up and see Bucky staring at you and you both quickly look away. “One of the plates near your shoulder came loose and disrupted the signal to the rest of the arm. That’s why you couldn’t move it. It’s fixed now and you should be good to go, Sergeant.”
Before Bucky could say anything, Tony enters. “Penn, those reports done yet or are you too busy with Terminator over there?” You ignore Bucky’s confused who’s Penn? and give Tony the finished half of his reports, hoping against hope that he won’t tear you a new one in front of Bucky.
“Uh, Glasses, where is the other half?”
“I didn’t get to them all last night and then Captain Rogers needed his reports this morning. I’m sorry, Mr. Stark.” Not only did you not finish Tony’s reports on time, but you were also late with Steve’s, on top of getting minimal sleep and not eating. The humiliation is seeping through your pores. You’re letting your idols down in real time, seeing their disappointment right in front of you.
“I told you to prioritize my samples, not Rogers.” Bucky is still in his chair, watching, ready to jump to your defense. He doesn’t like the way Tony is talking to you. Little do you know, but Bucky sometimes comes down to the lab to watch you work, never entering, God no. He’d look like a creep. But the sweet lab tech caught his attention the moment you arrived.
“I know, but I fell behind and Captain Rogers said-”
“I don’t care what Rogers said. I told you-”
“Back off Stark, if you want them done, do it yourself.” Bucky was pissed; you are too sweet for your own good, letting people boss you around and bending over backwards for them. Not when Bucky is around.
Before Tony can continue to argue with Bucky, F.R.I.D.A.Y. calls him away for a meeting, leaving you and Bucky in the lab alone. “Sergeant Barnes, you didn’t have to do that. Those reports should have been done anyway; it was my fault.” How pathetic is it to have someone you hardly know see your faults.
“He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, doll. You’re only one person and you're doing your best.” He’s a lot closer to you now and you can smell his cologne, making your head feel all fuzzy. “Thank you for helping me with my arm, too.”
“Thank you for letting me, Sergeant, I know that was difficult for you.” You’re looking up at him through your thick frames, eyes larger than they actually are, bags under your eyes, but Bucky thinks you’ve never been prettier. Or maybe it’s because he’s never seen you up close, but you are the most gorgeous woman he’s ever seen, 40’s or not.
“Call me Bucky.”
After that, Bucky was in the lab almost everyday. For a while he would claim to have some strange ailment until you told him that he didn’t have to feign injury to visit, which made him blush. He would spend his lunch in the lab, making sure that you were eating, too. Bucky is a very observant man, and on his trips to the lab, before he first talked to you, he would see how overworked you were and how you barely ate.
He made it his mission to keep you well fed and get you out of the lab at a decent hour, giving a death glare to agents trying to drop off samples after a certain hour.
Outside of the lab, Bucky was your only friend at the compound; although, he’s never hand fed Steve in bed while watching old movies. Bucky felt comfortable around you, even more so than with Steve. Bucky and you had a special bond - he would confide in you when you would both be awake at the unholy hours of night and you would do the same. He trusted you not to tell anyone else and, to him, it was easier to talk to you than Steve.
Steve had a tendency to look at Bucky as if he was a sick puppy, and Bucky hated that, he hated the pity. He didn’t want to be treated like precious glass, and you allowed him to be vulnerable without making him feel like he was falling apart.
Some nights you both would fall asleep in bed together and wake up entangled, those nights were Bucky’s favorites. You were so soft and even though you were so much smaller than him, you made him feel safe and protected. His sweet doll in his bed, keeping the nightmares away.
He loved the way you would squint and search for your glasses on the stand next to the bed, whining when you accidentally knocked them to the floor, or stabbed yourself in the eye trying to put them on.
The entire dynamic of your friendship changed one night. Bucky doesn’t know who moved first, but the two of you kissed, and Bucky can’t remember kisses ever being so good. The two of you only kissed that night, nothing further, but it was the best night that either of you had in a long while. From that day on, he was your old man and you were his old lady.
You both decided to keep your relationship a secret for the time being. You didn’t want the other lab techs to think you were getting special treatment and Bucky didn’t want to deal with the teasing from Sam or the questions from Steve. But Bucky loathed when he would be forced by Steve to join movie nights, alone, without you. Steve wanted what was best for his friend so he would force Bucky to get out more; little did Steve know that Bucky had the best girl waiting for him to come over.
He could tell that you were let down whenever he had to participate in “team bonding.” You wanted to be valued by the team, yet you understood why they never invited you; you weren’t an Avenger, just a lowly lab tech. Nonetheless, it broke Bucky’s heart to see you so despondent, which is why he asked you to join the next movie night, team be damned.
“Come on, doll, it will be fun. I promise.” Bucky holds you close to his chest, laying down next to you under the covers. You roll over, naked chest to naked chest, body still shaking, and bury your face in his neck, breathing him in.
“I’m not even a part of the team, Jamie. What will all your teammates think, huh? The great Bucky Barnes and the weird lab tech: A perfect match. No, they won’t.” Bucky gently grabs both sides of your face, both metal and flesh warm from previous activities, and makes you look him in the eye.
He’s a little blurry since you aren’t wearing your glasses. The lenses would smush against your face everytime he would kiss you with anything more than a chaste kiss, and Bucky Barnes is a passionate kisser in bed. At your slight squint, he pulled you closer to his face so you could see him clearly; blue eyes holding nothing but the utmost love and devotion.
“I don’t give a damn what the team thinks, you hear me? You are my doll and I want to show you off. My sweet little lab tech who’s too kind for her own good. Let them all know how perfect you are.” Your resolve is crumbling like it does every time he looks at you. It is an overwhelming feeling, being the light of someone’s life, being showered with so much love you feel like you can’t breathe, but each breath fills up your lungs with joy and hope.
Bucky nuzzles his nose against yours and you both know you’ll say yes. You’d follow him to the ends of the earth, just as he would for you. “Okay, Jamie, I will, for you.”
Movie night is a week later and you’re on Bucky’s lap where he sits on the recliner. It’s his unofficial seat whenever Steve forces him to these things, stuck in the corner of the room away from everyone else with no seat next to him. At first, no one notices you on Bucky’s lap, curled up into him with tangled limbs not able to tell where Bucky begins and you end.
Steve is the first to notice, doing a double take at the extra bulk in Bucky’s seat, and just as Bucky is observant, so is Steve. Steve had a suspicion that there was something more to Bucky’s disappearances during lunch and the extra food he would take after dinner. Steve just smiles to himself and faces the movie once more, every so often glancing back at the two lovebirds in their own world.
Bucky has no clue what movie they are watching, his sole focus is on you. You had a long day in the lab, yet you held true to your word to join movie night with him, but being curled up in Bucky’s arms was your favorite place to be and before long you were sound asleep, holding onto his metal arm, using it as a pillow. As gently as he could, Bucky took off your glasses and put them atop his head, falling asleep himself before the movie was halfway over.
Sam was the second to notice, and let the rest of the team know as well. “OH. MY. GOD. Tony, where is my phone? I can’t believe this.” The rest of the team look at each other in confusion, following Sam’s line of sight, they see you wrapped up in Bucky’s arms, the both of you sound asleep.
“Is that…Glasses?” Comes from Tony.
“She’s so cute!” Slips from Wanda.
“Who’s Glasses?” is followed by a slap from Nat with a hissed “Thor, shut up, they’re sleeping!”
“Tony, my phone! I need evidence.”
“Terminator’s getting laid?”
“We’re watching Indiana Jones, Stark.”
“Thor, inside voice, we’ve talked about this.”
The teasing from the team is endless the next day, but Bucky doesn’t have it in him to care, he has his sweetheart by his side and they know better than to provoke Bucky. Coincidentally, Tony offers to take some of his samples back to test them himself; Bucky insists that he must have had a change of heart, you don’t believe it for one second, but Bucky will never admit to anything. After all, he has to take care of his sweet girl.
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