#and to my bills and Kaines meds and my meds

[nabsthevulture]

ALSO OMG?????

Thank you guys so so so much for your help with Kaine's vet bills <3!!!!!!!!!!! We're about halfway there for covering it all. Like you guys know, I've been unemployed for a while and even at my last job with the hours i was getting I would have to pay with three weeks of pay. The job search is not going as good as I hope, so this all went on my credit card and I can't keep piling money on that with no back up plan, so your help is incredible and I can't thank you guys enough.

Big big love from me and my big baby. If he could type I'm sure he'd say thank you too. I'll post a picture of him in his donut for your viewing pleasure.

[iskeaux]

Pre-birthday weekend.

So, yeah, it’s officially my pre-birthday weekend, but since the actual day isn’t until the 24th (Thursday), I don’t really have much planned for today. Most likely just gonna do overtime work this morning while paying some bills and doing items from my planner, then eat lunch with Mami and Dadi when they get home from Batangas, then wrap up work stuff in the afternoon, then pa-deliver sa Foodpanda or kain sa subdivision for dinner, then watch Netflix with Mami around 9pm, then play Genshin around 10pm onwards since need ko nang matapos yung Archon quest (if ever di ko pa natapos earlier in the day). Haha. Then tomorrow, we’ll go to Festival Mall before lunch to withdraw (~8.9K) pick up my meds and celebrate my birthday early. Not sure if we’re gonna move to another mall/place, but yeah, hopefully we wouldn’t be too indecisive by then. Lol.

Still haven’t fully decided on where to spend my actual birthday, though I imagine I would just let me previous booking (at a quite expensive hotel) just push through, since I don’t really know any other place that would offer the balance of what I need to happen and the cost. Lol. I mean, there are nice hotels that are 2K-3K cheaper, but they all have some sort of inconveniences that I’m not sure I’m willing accept (noisy street, not-so-good location, lackluster facilities, and the like). But, yeah, knowing myself, I’d probably canvas later today one last time, just in case I stumble upon another hotel with a better price-to-quality ratio. XD

[coveredinmula]

It’s been nine months since my father was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer, we caught it in time thanks to the doctors at the University Hospital. I knew it would only be a short time before it got worse, the meds were expensive and the trials also cost an arm and leg. It was just the two of us, my mother left us when I was ten years old. If I saw her I’d be liable to punch her in the face, she was being saved by her ex husband.

‘I’ll be fine Jenesis, you need to focus on those books.’

Having to lie to my father was even harder, I put classes on hold and did all I could to keep us afloat and the bills paid on time. I gave him the best smile I could muster, my nerves were fried thanks to my home girl, Stormi pulled some strings and hooked me up at the club she works at. At first I said no, shaking my ass wasn’t an option, what if word got back to my dad? He’d be so disappointed in me.

“I’ll be back before four okay? Nurse Vanessa will be here in twenty minutes, don’t give her any trouble this time.”

‘Who’s the parent here? Now go on, babe. Tell Stormi I said hello.’

My father Kaine said, giving me a hug and shooing me out of the house with a laugh. I shook my head, closing the door and locking it. I walked to the waiting car, Stormi was already blowing smoke out of the window with the music turned up enough for me to hear when I got close. I snatched the door open, slid into the seat and looked ahead.

‘Calm down, Jenesis. Remember this is just a try out, don’t think too much about it. You got a body for it, you take dance lessons from Mari. You’ll be fine.’

She passed me the joint, I took three long puffs and handed it right back. The drive to Club Milli was a quiet one except for the music playing from the speakers, twenty minutes later we were pulling up and getting out. With the line out the door, my stomach was touching my ankles. I wanted to go back home, find another way to get money for the first round of trials. I have a date to meet and it was Friday which was two days away.

“Storm there’s so many people here, Jesus.”

‘I know, it means more money for your pockets. Let’s go.’

Storm grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards the back entrance. After scanning her badge, we were in and the bouncer was patting both of us down. His large palms stayed a second too long on my ass, ick filled my head as I moved out of the way and headed for the dancers room. I came with no outfits, however I was assured that the house woman or whatever would see to me getting the appropriate clothes.

I looked around, women in skimpy outfits, some with just those pasties on their tits and vaj. This was the kind of club I did not see myself working in for long, getting completely naked wasn’t something I wanted to do for a living. Not bashing those that do it, ugh my mind was all over the place and I needed to focus on the task at hand right now. I sat when told to sit, the lady who does make and clothing came over.

‘Hello, mami. I’m Cindy and I’m here to help you get ready, I already have your outfit ready and you’re on after Lori.’

Cindy spoke and did my makeup, after fifteen minutes I was done. I looked at the mirror with a gasp, she smiled, I smiled. I look good as fuck, standing up and getting dressed. I came back dressed in a two piece set, pink and white with a frilly flare. My ass was sitting up nice, tits perky and I was once again becoming self conscious. Storm came over with a bottle of Casamigos and two show glasses, pouring into both. I knocked back mine, then I got another.

‘You ready? Lori is almost done, the MC is going to announce your name and you’ll go out there and show out.’

She was more excited than I was, another shot and I was feeling better about this. After the last song went off, the Lori chick walked back in with a smug smirk.

‘Good luck after that.’

I ignored her.

‘𝐀𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭!! 𝐖𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝!! 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬!’

The MC got the crowd hyped, I walked out to men and women cheering. The club was a multi level club, people were on all levels and had the perfect view of the stage. He played the first song Stormi told him to: 𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗠𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 — 𝗣𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀, 𝗝𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗙𝗼𝘅𝘅 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲-𝗗𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺.

When the song started I moved to the front of the stage where the pole was, I leaned back against the metal, pushing my hips back and forth, hands moving down my body. I spun around the pole next, lifting up and letting gravity take over. I stopped and slowly slid into a split, pushing away from the pole. I rode the ground, before poking my ass out, closing my legs and getting into doggy style.

The next song played: 𝗜 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝗲𝘅 — 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘆 𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘇.

I crawled to the pole, lifting myself up and practically fucked the damn thing, climbing up and l locking my legs around it as I bent back. My hips bounced, pumped and gyrated to the beat of the song. Money rained over the stage, climbing even higher and spun in circles, clapping my heels. I let go, closing my legs again around it to stop myself. I stood up, bent over shaking my ass.

When Trey said who’s coming home with me, I looked at the crowd and pointed with a grind of my hips and a little hand moving down my body. I dropped to my knees, pulling my body to the edge of the stage. The liquor was having me out of pocket, turning around and pushing, legs spread open in a V-shape with my palms on the ground. I popped each cheek, the guy was so enthralled that he threw all his money.

Standing back up, blowing a kiss to the crowd as they erupted into applause and throwing whatever money they had. I walked off the stage in utter shock, like I wasn’t even in control of my own body. Stormi was screaming and clapping, telling me I did that shit. She told me that my money would be collected and given to me.

——/——/——

That was six months ago, I’ve been stripping and dancing for almost half a year now and I’ve loved it. My dad got onto the trial list, what I didn’t know was someone was watching me the entire time.

End.

[thatgirlwithuntoldfeelings]

17:37 • 15 July 2023

my schedule was at 630. too early kaso yun lang yung available time. hindi ko pa sure saan bababa, either lagpas, or before alabang med. either way, maglalakad ako habang umuulan so dun nlang ako sa alam kong medyo mas maiksing lakarin. i arrived passed 640. 

there were 2 lalaking staff tapos 2 patients waiting. i was asked if my request has been approved knowing it was dated June 26. i said, not yet. tried to get it approved kaso sarado pa hmo. ate girl from pharmacy said mga 730-8 pa siguro magkakatao. went back sa rad department and told the sirs na mamaya pa raw ako maapprove. they asked for additional details and bakit ang tagal na nung request lol. so i gave the info they needed. mayamaya, the mas matandang sir (renz) talked to the mas batang sir. sabi ni mas batang sir hindi pa approved hmo ko. sabi ni sir renz tsaka na lang magpaapprove, mas mabuti isalang nako. 

the female doctor arrived. pinahiga ako nung 2 sir sa isang room. ang tagal bago dumating nung doctor kasi nakita ko padaan daan pa siya sa labas ng room at nagaasikaso pa ata nung nauna sa akin. so the takot sa hospital self ko eh nagpapanic. then after 5mins siguro, pumasok na siya. since walang babaeng assistant, naiwan yung mas batang sir. medyo bothered me kasi ofc pinataas yung shirt. nakapatay ilaw pero basta weird. nag-uusap sila ni doc. bakit daw walang girl today ganyan at sila nag-aassist. tapos mega ask siya kasi aalis na pala si batang assistant at lilipat ng dasma para magturo. lahat yun nangyayari habang sinasabihan niya ko ng inhale exhale HAHAHAHAHA.

around 720 na ata ako natapos. i stayed for a while kasi nga need ko pa magpa-approve ng hmo. around 750, i tried my luck and billing pa lang yung open. inaccommodate na lang ako ni maam and siya na nagprocess ng hmo ko. after ng approval, went back to rad and sir renz said balik ako after 2hrs.

naghihintay pa lang inisip ko na agad na gusto ko magpasta so i went sa yellowcab na malapit HAHAHAHA. nasa utak ko na mag-aglio olio pero lahat ng pasta may solo order except dun. the kuripot in me struggled. pero gusto ko talaga so umorder nako nung pang-2-3 pax and a mug rootbeer bc sabi ko deserve ko naman siguro lol.

ako lang mag-isa dun. when i saw my order naisip ko, hala parang kaya ko ubusin to lahat? HAHAHAH gutom yarn? i made sure na magrootbeer bc we’ll never know baka mamaya ang result eh marami nang bawal. plus matagal nako hindi nagrorootbeer so meron akong reason lol.

fun fact: i always wanted to have a bfast or dinner date w someone. these two meals are special to me kasi kumbaga ito yung umpisa ng araw at pangclose ng araw. dinner date is very common pero i think bfast date is also special. ayun lang never namin nagawa tapos ewan if possible pa. :c:

anyways, hindi naman nila ko pinalayas. plus ako lang pa rin ang tao walang iba at all. i stayed until 930 halos bc mas gugustuhin ko pang dun magstay kesa sa loob ng ospital. may natira akong pasta at di ko rin naubos yung rootbeer. nasayangan ako kasi naisip ko rin wala kong kain halos tapos rootbeer pa talaga iniinom ko edi wow. 

pagdating ko sa rad, sobrang dami nang tao. umupo lang ako sa same pwesto ko and was planning to wait kasi nga 10 pa dapat yung results if 2hrs after. sir renz saw me and kinuha niya na agad yung result ko. tinawag niya nako agad after nung kausap niya.

so okay naman lahat. thank God wala naman akong stones sa gallbladder HAHAHAHHA. tbh nanood nako ng videos ng operation bc bingo talaga ko sa symptoms. so far, so good lahat. maliban lang sa cyst sa kidney wc i think hindi naman ata deliks? well, not sure pa kasi hindi pa naiinterpret. umuwi lang ako agad bc antok na antok nako. 

pahabol chismis. so pagsakay ko ng jeep, nakakita kong suka sa floor HAHAHAHA kamote. sumuka yung isang pasahero (lalaki) tapos hassle na hassle mga kasama niya (2f+1m). kausap ni isang girl yung jowa ng lalaki tapos ayaw gumising nung lalaki. syempre if ako rin sumuka sa jeep yuyuko nlang me forevs nakakahiya. gagalit si kuya driver kesyo linisin daw or bayaran nila boundary niya. gets ko naman point niya. i think mas nakakainis lang kasi nga yung lalaking sumuka parang tulug-tulugan so walang magtake ng responsibility. yung isang girl at isang boy nilinis nila yung suka habang umaandar yung jeep. naubusan silang wipes na meron pang konting kalat pero no choice sila. gusto ko man tumulong kaso wala rin me dalang wipes or tissue. i offered my water kasi parang tinatry nila buhusan para madakot ng ayos yung suka pero di tinaggan ni kuya guy. tapos bababa na dapat sila ng pilar pero di na nakababa, kasi imimeet nlang yung jowa ni nagsuka sa colours. di ko na sure anong nangyari kasi nauna nako bumaba lol.

ayun lang. hello, saturday.

[blues-and-words]

i keep losing my voice

so this started a week ago. nag volunteer akong mag rd ot coz they badly needed just to lessen the queue and y not? kesa magkulong sa kwarto nagtrabaho na lang ako. thinking of getting an extra pay. sayang eh

sat. rd ot shift ko. 4hrs lang naman so it doesn't really matter. i mean mabilis lang talaga yon. i started my shift na husky na boses ko. (boses lalaki ako just an fyi) so imagine naging husky pa. sir na talaga tawag sakin ng mga cx lol. and to na nga. i ended my shift na wala na talaga akong boses. like ano, puro hangin na lang whenever i'm trying to say something. wala na. gestures and tango tango na lang sa kausap. para sa tulad kong madaldal, struggle yon talaga.

sun-tues. shempre i can't afford losing my voice kasi puhunan ko to eh. parang singer lang diba? but srsly, i'm worried na di makapasok so the next rd. literal na bed rest and voice rest lang. hoping na magiging okay din lahat kahit mukang impossible na. (jk. hugot!) pero ayun na nga. life sucks. di bumalik. and its so frustrating kasi napa-absent pa ko ng 2 more days just to make sure my voice will be back to normal. (oo, sayang rd ot. lugi pa. tangna diba)

wed-fri. may nawawala, pero may bumabalik din. parang boses ko? hehe. saya ko pa kasi normal na ulet eh. i had my normal 8hrs shift. uwi sa apt. kain then tulog and then pasok ulit the night after. kaso alamo yun? minsan paglalaruan ka talaga ng tadhana coz kinabukasan, i mean the following night. pawala na naman boses ko!!!! nakakaurat na. and unfortunately nung friday shift i really can't take any calls. i still went to work tho but i didn't do anything that i am supposed to do. they let me rest and sleep sa first half ng shift ko thinking it will be okay soon. kahit alam kong la nang pag-asa. sumunod ako. and biglag nag ikot ung associate director namin sa prod. like sya yung boss ng boss ng boss ko. i approaced one of the TL's just to ask if they will let me go home and AD heard na boses paniki na ko talaga so she sent me home. finally!!! (umaasa pa kasing babalik pa eh nawala na nga. lol)

sat-sun. same routine ofcourse. bed rest and voice rest plus home remedies for sore throat. ayoko din naman na hindi pumasok coz like what ive said i cannot afford not getting paid on work days. lagi naka abang sakin si judith and wala siyang pake sa nararamdam ko. (adulting ikr!)

mon. which is my shift last night. sa totoo lang, i felt like hindi talaga buo yung boses ko ulit. at some point nararamdaman kong bigla ako naghahabol ng hininga and nawawalan ng boses. yes eto na naman!!! nakakainis na. puyat pa ko ngayon so mas nakadagdag reason bakit napapaos na naman ako. like literally. i'm losing my voice, again.

u know what's even worse? may ka work ako who experienced the same shits that i'm going through right now. naka med leave na nga sya eh. for 3 weeks ganon din routine nya. mawawala magpapahinga tas babalik and then repeat. with or without pain ss throat napapaos din siya and guess what? he needed a f*cking surgery now!!!! i freaked out.

"A tonsillectomy is a surgical procedure to remove the tonsils, which is sometimes necessary to treat an underlying illness."

i know minor operation lang yan pero the thought na mag-sstay ako sa ospital for couple of days is killing me already. sino ba gustong nasa ospital diba? jusq, i don't want to end up like him. unang una, hindi covered and meds sa hmo. hospital bills pwede pa. pero kahit na. work is my distraction and my escape. kung matitigil yon. di ko na alam san ako pupulutin. kapikon hays

ps. yes , magpapa-check up na ko bukas.

- Bayaning Puyat