#and to make shiro's life difficult

[semi-imaginary-place]

"This manga is heavily a Buddhist story, which is mostly the reason for the morals, choices, and consequences of the story falling flat for many westerners. It'd be too difficult to go into everything in one comment, but the most important thing is Ichikawa's criticism of Pure Land Buddhism.

In this branch of Buddhism, people can basically pray to get into the Pure Land, rather than having to do the work themselves. Gemstones also can't get into the pure land and thus are exempt from samsara, the karmic cycle, which was the main inspiration for the series and something Ichikawa sought to change in the story.

The story depicts Ichikawa's rejection of Pure Land Buddhism through Adamant's burden of existing solely as a tool to pray humanity away and his eventual breaking free of this role to be able to live with the gems full time during the 10,000 years. It also sort of paints the lunarians as lesser for convincing themselves that they need someone to pray them away when they didn't. But the biggest example is regarding which character actually got the better ending, because the way I see it, and the way Ichikawa seems to see it, everyone other than Phos got fucked in the end.

Over the course of the story, Aechmea paints nothingness as a serene realm of nonexistence that is free from the suffering of the living world, but by the end, it seems clear that nothingness is just another state of existence and everyone there is still a part of the eternal cycle of everything being remade into everything else. Taking this into account, why would you want nothingness when you can make peace with existence like Phos ended up doing? Despite everything he went through, it's only because he actually put the work that he was given the opportunity to find his purpose, reflect on his life and actions, and be happy with the pebbles. Things didn't go how he planned, but he did end up getting everything he wanted.

A lot of people will say that the message of the manga is that existence is suffering, but I think the ending makes a good point that it is equal parts suffering and happiness. Likewise, the manga does a good job painting humanity as a force of destruction, ignorance, and shortsightedness, but the ending shows that there is still pureness and wisdom in it.

Probably the biggest takeaway should be that good and evil and other black and white ways of looking at things are rarely any use in a world as nuanced as ours. And that seeing the world this way will only lead to confusion when those you see as good are getting punished and those you see as evil are getting rewarded, when in reality, the universe could not care less what you are. Everyone is just the result of their own actions and the influences of the world around them and we're all going to die and go back to being stardust eventually anyway."

"The lunarians were all able to pass on their own, but their insistence on someone else doing the work for them was an attachment that kept them from that. Shiro and the game board fulfilled their desire to see Adamant again and were able to go to nothingness without him praying for them."

"They got what they wanted, but what they wanted doesn't seem to be what they thought it was. Rather than a state of absolute non-feeling, it sounds like they're just getting put back into the karmic soup of the universe a bit sooner than Phos, Brother, the pebbles, and everything else eventually will. Except the lunarians and gems weren't wise enough to come to terms with that inevitability.

Most of this take comes from Brother's conversation with Phos in chapter 103 regarding living in the present and not worrying about the future that's beyond your control. But even ignoring this part of it, I still think the series makes a good case for existence, even including the worst of it, being a better deal than absolutely nothing.

This is not to say that Phos didn't experience far worse than anyone else in the story, only that the kind of growth he went through requires a degree of hardship. Phos post-prayer seems to agree that everything he went through, despite how unfair or traumatizing it was, was necessary and worth it for him to have the clarity and happiness that he has now.

A part of Buddhism is realizing that you can't change most things and accepting things the way they are. Basically, things don't always go the way you planned and finding value in the way they did rather than dwelling on things out of your hands is a form of personal growth that one should strive for.

Phos made peace with what he was dealt and used those experiences to make himself and those around him better off, spending eons of happiness with the pebbles. The lunarians rejected this way of thinking and endlessly sought to change their fate, wasting the existence they were given before inevitably getting thrown right back into a new one. They squandered their chance at what Phos attained and will have to start from scratch in their next form. When everything you have ends eventually, it's the present that really matters, not the outcome."

(CrashDunning)

[autisticlancemcclain]

secret santa for @leenfiend

“And you two…”

Shiro turns to look at them both, eyes narrowed, hand on his hip. Even being half-held up by Allura, Keith wants to straighten up on reflex, dust off his armour, stand at attention. He breaks away from the heavy stare, glancing over at Lance, only to find him already looking. He sneers when Keith makes eye contact, and in seconds they’re turning away from each other, scowling.

“Yeah,” Shiro sighs, looking down at his comm. “Yeah, I gotta do something about you two.”

———

The something, it turned out, was busywork.

Keith thinks he might strangle his brother. Keith knows he and Lance have been…difficult, the past few weeks — although for the life of him he could not tell you why — but sending them on some stupid mission that was so clearly just meant to waste time was just insulting.

Keith huffs, looking at the mission file again.

MISSION FILE: 24-62-XC

OBJECTIVE: find bananas. or something i dunno

PERSONEL: idiot a and idiot b. shiro said to erase that and write your names but your bickering has been driving me insane so no. suffer

LOCATION: Kunedg-12-2

DANGER LEVEL: none unless you kill each other lol

He reminds himself to mess around on Pidge’s laptop the next time she leaves it unsupervised. This whole stupid file is embarrassing, but the disrespect of the mission objective has to be the worst part. She couldn’t even bother pretending to come up with one.

“Could you maybe go brood somewhere else?” Lance snarks, startling him out of his thoughts. He lifts a delicate hand off the joystick to pinch his nose like something reeks. “Your emo-ness is throwing off my vibe and your angsty sweaty hormones are stinking up the place. Maybe go sit near the garbage shoot, or something.”

Keith bites back a growl, fists clenching at his side. “I smell fine.”

“Like finely chopped onions, maybe. Yuck.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

Discreetly, Keith lifts up his arm and takes a whiff. He scowls harder — he smells like the same space brand deodorant they all use. Lance is just being a dick for no reason, like he always is, like what got them into this stupid mess in the first place.

“Just — land the damn Lion, Lance. Try not to kill us.”

Even though he was trying to be insulting, Keith regrets it as soon as he says it. Lance’s back goes ramrod straight, like he was zapped with Pidge’s bayard, and the temp in the cockpit drops thirty degrees.

“Lance —”

“Do not even attempt to finish that sentence,” he hisses. His hands wrapping around the controls are slow and deliberate. His shoulders are straight as a ruler.

Keith sighs, tipping his head back and letting it thunk on the back of the chair. He should’ve — goddamn it. He’s not sure what he should have done, but they might as well turn around now and go back to everyone else. They could stay on this planet for days, now, and Lance won’t so much as look at him. Keith is sure of it.

“Better hold tight. Might slip on the control and oops! Mercy me. I’m so clumsy and careless, I might just kill us.”

The Blue-turned -Red Paladin accompanies every biting remark with a sharp jerk of the thrusters, shaking the whole lion around. Red must be happy to help, because the smoothness that Keith knows should usually accompany her movements is nowhere to be found — she’s letting Lance yank them around to his heart’s content. Keith doesn’t have much of a connection to her anymore, but he can almost feel the impression of her snapping her tail in indignation.

He grits his teeth, determined not to give Lance the satisfaction of reacting. Even as they do nauseating barrel roll after barrel roll, even after Lance dives and dips like a crazy person, even after he lifts his hands off the controls and lets them drop, totally free falling — Keith says nothing.

At least, not until he hears a soft, “Oh, shoot.”

“‘Oh shoot’ what?” he asks cautiously, knowing this might be a trap. If Lance bites back with oh, so you really don’t trust me to pilot!, Keith is genuinely going to stomp over there and strangle him.

“Um. So. Buckle up,” Lance says, and Keith has to bite back a scream of frustration.

Lance is no longer pulling wildly at the controls, intentionally driving like it’s the first time he’s seen an aircraft. His posture is careful and relaxed, shoulders loose and easily moveable. But his jaw is clenched, like he does when he’s stressed, and Keith begins to notice a flashing light in the corner of the stats display.

“Lance.”

“Everything is under control,” he says quickly.

“…Lance.”

“We’re not going to crash or anything,” he amends. “I didn’t — screw it up.”

He glances backwards, quickly meeting Keith’s eye, and Keith notices that his expression is pleading. Keith swallows the comment he wants to make and nods.

“But. Uh, the comm line to the team is cut off. Not sure why. Maybe the planet has bad signal? It was fine coming in. I’ll land and then we can investigate?”

It takes Keith a minute to realize that Lance is asking him. That Lance is looking at him to lead, as if Keith has ever ordered Lance around. As if it hasn’t been two ye — months. At least.

Keith clears his throat, looking away. “Yeah, dude. You’re piloting, your mission. Whatever you think is best.”

For once, Keith has said the right thing. The confirmation of control runs through Lance like a shiver, and a mix of confusion and relief and precious, precious hope flits through his dark eyes almost faster than Keith can register, then he’s turning back to face the control board.

“Cool. Hold on, there’s not much to land on here so it’ll be bumpy.”

It is bumpy. Honestly, Keith is surprised at how deftly Lance and Red land, for all he has to clench his hands around the armrests — this planet is truly just a thick nest of towering trees and curling vines. Lance has to slink Red between two trees and have her land curled around the base of one, because there just isn’t any space for her to touch down regularly.

“You managed not to kill us,” Keith tries, smiling.

Lance stares at him critically for a moment. Then, wonderfully, beautifully, miraculously, his expression clears, and he decides Keith is being genuine. The tiniest of smiles turn up his own lips, and he shrugs.

“Well, duh. I’m the best pilot out of the two of us, after all. Let’s go.”

He’s out the door before Keith can retort — maybe something along the lines of you literally ruin every single bonding moment we have ever had you actual twerp-brained fucker — and Keith is quick to follow. Any attempt at dialogue dies on his tongue the second he’s exposed to the outside air — and the wall of wet heat that slams into him like a bull stampeding in the wrong direction.

“Jesus H Christ on a one wheeled motorbike,” he wheezes. Every inch of his skin is immediately drenched in sweat. He’s never regretted his gloves more, and wishes with every fibre of his being that he’d actually listened to Shiro for once and worn his (temperature- controlled) paladin armour.

Lance ignores him, beam lighting up his face. “Oh, it’s beautiful here!”

Keith can actually feel his shirt cling to his back like a second skin. It’s disgusting.

“Huh?”

Because yeah, the planet might be pretty. It’s almost greener than Keith can comprehend – trees so tall Keith can’t even see the canopy; trunks covered in moss and vines; wide-leafed, curling bushes and plants; tropical flowers making the air smell sweet and fragrant. Keith watches as a gecko patters down a branch to rest in a patch of dappled sunlight. Pretty, sure.

But Keith is pretty sure he’s actually breathing in water. The air is so goddamn humid he’s not sure there’s actually any air in it, and he is sticky. Beautiful places are not sticky. 

Lance is already frolicking around like a goddamn nature fairy. He tugs off his jacket, tying it around his waist, but other than that he seems to revel in the humidity, breathing in deeply like he’s used to inhaling what is essentially gasified mist instead of air. He grins at the greenery like it’s familiar, despite the fact that they’ve never even glanced at this entire quadrant the entire time they’ve been in space, let alone this planet.

“You live to thrive wherever I do not,” Keith mutters, irrationally angry at Lance’s lack of suffering. He scowls at his back and says, louder, “We have a mission.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance dismisses, still in the trance-like glee. He twirls around to face a huge, fern like plant, reaching up to caress the leaves and pet the back of a beetle. “You and I both know it’s busywork.“

“Yeah, well, it’s an official mission and we’re Paladins of Voltron, so. Personally I take that pretty seriously.”

It’s a low blow, as bad or worse as his piloting comment earlier. He winces as soon as he says it – Jesus, when did he start trying to piss Lance off – but luckily Lance doesn’t hear or doesn’t care, already twenty feet down some random path. Keith groans quietly and stomps after him.

Ten minutes ago, Lance could have suggested they turn around and leave and Keith would’ve been on-board. Now, as stupid as it is, Lance’s delight in this planet annoys him. It’s not fair that he’s amusing himself, and Keith is miserable. They’re supposed to both be miserable.

Somehow, though, he manages to keep his commentary to himself. Part of it is watching as Lance seems to…glow, on this planet, as strange as that is to notice. The giant smile has not left his face, and the yellow sunlight trickling through the leaves looks good on him. He hums as he walks, dancing under bent branches, even refraining from holding them back so Keith can get through and waiting until Keith is just barely past before snapping the branch back so Keith gets smacked in the face. And that’s one of his favourite hobbies.

He must be in a really good mood, if he’s not finding an excuse to smack Keith.

“Can we find some stupid fruit or something and get out of here,” Keith complains, finally having had enough. Have they actually been hiking for hours? Keith feels like he’s been hiking for hours. He feels like he’s seen the same eight plants nine hundred times. Everything has coalesced into a sea of green and he’s hot, goddamnit, and he’s never regretted an all-black ensemble more in his life. Maybe he listens to Shiro next time. Well, unlikely, but –

Something smacks him in the face, and he yelps. 

He bends down to grab the weapon, seething as he hears Lance’s snickering, and comes up with some kind of round, firm…thing.

“Fruit,” Lance supplies. “Feel free to head back to Red. You go back to the others and they’ll send your ass right back, catboy. You know as well as I do.”

Keith knows this. Of course he does. But it pisses him off that Lance is so blase about it, like Keith doesn’t know, that he clenches the fruit-thing in his fists and actually does stomp back to Red, leaving Lance to take a hike. 

“God he is so annoying,” he mutters to no one, aggressively biting the fruit. It’s delicious, which only serves to make him angrier. He puts on a high, mocking voice. “You go back to the others and they’ll send you back, blah blah blah. As if I don’t know that. As if I’m dumb.”

It’s relieving to get back into Red’s interior. It’s not exactly AC, but it certainly isn’t humid central, and any break from that heat is a welcome one. He sits heavily in the pilot’s chair, relishing in the familiarity of it, and sulks.

Or, well, he tries to.

The thing about sulking is that it gets very boring very quickly. That’s why he usually expresses his sulking through incredible violence, and why he misses the castle’s training room so much. That place was great. All Keith had to do was press a button and boom, he was being attacked. The literal dream.

Bored, he swings his legs over the armrest, opening his bayard and examining it. It’s weird to have such a contentious thing. Knowing all the blood it spilled in Zarkon’s name…it’s no wonder that his brother was so quick to get rid of it. But still, it’s a tool. A tool cannot be blamed for its master’s action, that much Keith had learned in the Blades.

He lets the blade glow and shrink in his hold until its back in its dormant position. He can’t very well train in here, as much as he would like to. Both Red and Lance would kill him, probably. 

Red makes a keening noise in his head. It’s the loudest he’s heard from her in…too long, and it startles him.

“What?”

Her presence in his head gets stronger, more insistent.

“What?” he repeats, sitting straight up. “What, girl, what’s going on?”

He yelps as the floor shifts under him – Red stands up, unwinding herself from around the tree. A growl reverberates through the entire ship, making the control board vibrate. A bad feeling begins to take root somewhere in his stomach.

“Red?! Red, what’s –”

Before he can finish, she opens her great maw, and literally spits him out. She doesn’t leave him time to get offended, nudging him forward the second he gets to his feet. She growls again when he looks back at her, tilting her head at the path Lance disappeared down.

All at once, Keith gets it.

He sprints. Bayard elongating in his hand, he runs as fast as he can, hacking away branches and vines with ease – when he chances a look down, he sees that it’s taken the form of a machete. His first bayard change.

He does not have time to celebrate it. 

He can barely hear it over the sound of his own pounding feet, but there’s a rumbling, somewhere in the distance. Keith has been hearing it for a while – he thought it was Red, or maybe just jungle noises.

Now, he hears the human voice responding to it.

Something is wrong.

“Please don’t be doing something stupid,” he prays, pushing himself faster. It’s not easy. Keith is in good shape, but the humidity is knocking the hell out of him – every breath feels like it’s getting half the oxygen it should. He’s tiring fast. But the noises are getting louder, closer, and yep, that’s definitely Lance’s voice. Keith isn’t exactly sure what he’s saying, but he knows the voice, of course he knows the voice, it’s the only one that never left his head once in two years. In a last burst of strength, he sprints toward the sound, slashing a near-solid block of vines. 

He slashes the last layer of vines back, thrusting forward, and very heroically lands on his face.

“Lance!” he shouts, jumping back to his feet. He whirls around, sure this is where he heard the growls interspersed with Lance’s murmuring. But he can’t see him anywhere.

“Here,” sighs a voice.

Keith looks up and barely chokes back a scream. 

Swinging from a vine, wrapped up to his neck in a cocoon of them, is Lance – but it isn’t a vine. It’s thick like one, and smooth, but bright white. And…gloopy, almost, because Lance is not wrapped in a bunch of vines but in strands and strands of silk, and perched on – or maybe clinging to – his swinging body is the biggest spider Keith has ever seen. 

“Get off him!” Keith yells, proud of himself for how little his voice shakes.

“Oh, great plan, Keith. Order the animal around. I’m sure it’ll heed your demands and cut me free.”

Keith flushes. “Shut up,” he hisses. “Victims of Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Gone Wrong don’t get to snark!”

Lance shrugs. “You’re welcome to climb on up here and get me to shut up.”

As if in understanding, the spider hisses, scuttling down Lance’s body and lunging towards Keith, snapping its fangs. Keith shrieks and jumps back. Luckily, the spider doesn’t go past Lance’s head.

“She’s outta webs,” Lance explains. He doesn’t even flinch as the spider’s massive butt – spinnerets and all – rest on his forehead. Keith gags. “She won’t get too close to you, you’re too threatening –”

“I’m threatening?!”

“– so you’re in no danger. You can put the weapon away.”

“Put the weapon away – Lance, did it already suck out your brains?”

Lance glares hard at him. The effect is significantly lessened as the string of webbing he’s hanging from slowly turns, forcing his eyes away from Keith, and then also, well. The massive fuckin’ bug sitting on his forehead. So.

“No, she didn’t suck out my brains. She’s an animal, Keith, not dumb. Eating me would be stupid and a massive waste. I’m too big. I just freaked her out, is all. I should’ve been more careful in approaching her web.”

Keith places his face in his hands and yells. Just – screams, for a minute. He can’t believe he ever missed this asshole. He lived two blissful, blissful years without having to deal with any of this shit. 

And now, massive spiders. 

Great.

“I hate you,” Keith says. 

Lance nods, shrugging again. “Fair. Can’t leave without me, though.”

“I think I might. I’ll tell Allura you died tragically. Moment of silence, blah blah. Then I go home and have a lovely, quiet flight the whole time.”

“Hm, that won’t work. Hunk will be desolate. Inconsolable, I would even say.”

Keith sighs. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, matching Lance’s grin. He cannot believe his own brain’s betrayal, allowing itself to be amused by Lance’s stupid jokes. 

“What am I gonna do about the spider, Lance.”

At its – hers, whatever – name, it hisses again. Lance remains unphased. He wriggles a little, even, as if the sharp fangs aren’t inches away from his eyeballs.

“I’m working on it, gimme a sec.”

Keith aquieses. He wants to slash through the stupid binds and be done with everything, but he’s worried that the spider might be faster than he is and hurt Lance before he can get the chance. If he can just find a way to smack the spider off…

“Hm. I got an idea. Keith, grab my comm.”

Keith bites back a comment about who should be ordering whom around, edging gingerly around the hissing spider to scoop up Lance’s dropped comm. He clicks it on, tapping in Lance’s password – 3425, spelling D-I-C-K – and holding it loosely in his freehand.

“Got it.”

“Great. Okay, open my spider translator app.”

“Your – what.”

“Spider translator app,” Lance explains patiently. “Been working on it with Coran. Spiders communicate mostly via pheromones, but a lot of ‘em use clicks, especially threateningly. I remember how to say ‘hi’ and ‘no harm’, and I think I remember the sound for ‘food’? But I’m not sure and I don’t want to say ‘no harm food’ but accident, or something dumb like that, ‘cause then she might get the wrong idea. I’m hoping for something closer to ‘no food’ or ‘bad food’. I think she kind of gets it, but she’s still spooked. If I click at her she might think I’m another spider, let me go. If all else fails we’ll use the pheromones Coran and I have stored in Red’s shipping dock, but that stuff really reeks and doesn’t really wash out so I’d rather not.”

Keith’s head starts to hurt. Vaguely, he starts to wonder if he hit his head somewhere and is now dreaming, but unfortunately this brand of weird is pretty regular Lance. It’s just been a while since Keith has been in full force of it. 

Plus, Coran has clearly been enabling. 

“I have Seen Things,” Keith says, stabbing at the stupid comm. The app is front and centre. It is used more than the actual communication app, Keith knows that because he finds the stupid spider app in seconds and literally cannot find the communication app. He is going to kill this boy, the second he makes sure he’s safe. “So many things in space, Lance. So many of them horrible. So many of them strange. You remember the blob people that talked by pissing? I remember the blob people that talked by pissing. That is less weird than this, Lance.”

The translation app is pretty intuitive. Keith will give him that. He finds a translation for ‘bad food’ pretty quickly, but can’t read what it says for the life of him. He glances up, taking in the spider and the sheer fucking size of it, and slowly extends his hand so Lance can see the comm screen. His fingers tremble ever so slightly. 

Lance has to strain his neck slightly to see the screen. Keith resists the urge to yell. But he quickly makes a series of clicks and tongue-sounds, attracting even more of the spider’s attention. It stares at him with all eight of its eyes for several minutes.

Then it turns, scuttling slightly away from Lance’s face. Keith lets out a huge sigh of relief – too soon – as the spider sinks its fangs in Lance’s chest.

Keith screams.

“Will you chill out!” Lance scolds. Keith’s screams only get louder, and he squeezes his eyes shut. “She is eating the silk, Keith, Jesus, stop yelling! I’m fine!”

“I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you –”

In minutes there’s a thunk, and a muffled “Ow.” When Keith looks up, Lance is sprawled on the ground, rubbing his wrist, and the spider is nowhere to be found.

“Are you physically fucking capable,” he says slowly, “of just – not doing stupid shit? Like at all? Maybe once.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Lance retorts. He has a startling amount of dignity for someone with spider silk in his hair, still sat on the hard ground. “Your ass got stuck on the back of some whale for two years. Embarrassing.”

It is embarrassing, so Keith can’t retort. He makes a face and hopes it’s sufficient, but then Lance makes one right back, and he looks so fucking stupid in the fucking jungle and also kind of good for some reason and Keith’s heart is just barely slowing down, now, and his hands still shake and Lance just spoke fucking spider and Keith just.

He loses it, a little. 

He starts laughing and he can’t stop, and its so stupid, and he’s so fucking hot. His knees get weak and he’s landing on his ass, gasping for breath, Lance wheezing as he leans against Keith for support that he can’t even give. Who knows what other horrors lay in this stupid jungle – he and Lance are so loud they’re practically inviting them over – but Keith can’t stop for the life of him. His brain feels disconnected from his body. His stomach hurts so freaking badly. Every time he looks at Lance he loses it again. 

“Please take the fucking silk out of your hair,” he tries to say. Every word is interrupted by a wheezy giggle, so it doesn’t do much, but luckily Lance runs his hands through his hair anyways and it clings to his fingers instead. 

He calms, finally, keeping his attention on the strand of white silk, watching Lance’s thin fingers fiddle with it. He finally manages to calm down, too, taking huge breaths and trying to steady himself. 

“So,” Lance says when they can breathe again, “I’m sorry.”

“You should be, asshole. I thought you were gonna get eaten.”

“Oh, I’m not sorry about the spider. That was an honest misunderstanding.”

Keith sighs. For his own peace of mind, he convinces himself that Lance is joking. “What are you sorry for, then?”

Lance fiddles with the edge of his jacket. Keith notices, for the first time, that the tightly woven silk left red, raised welts around his skin. It must have been tight.

“I’ve been. A little. Standoff-ish. Perhaps.”

Keith snorts. “A little?”

“A lot,” Lance amends, smiling. He punches Keith’s shoulder. It is not gentle. “I missed you, Dropout. I didn’t expect to, and I didn’t like that I did. Misplaced aggression, all that.”

“You’ve matured remarkably in my absence,” Keith observes. He dodges Lance’s kick, but only barely. His smile hurts his face. “You’re almost, like…a real, functioning person now.”

“I take it back. You’re annoying. I didn’t miss you, all the letters I wrote you are a lie, in fact you can actually fuck right back off –”

Keith stills. “Letters.”

“– to the space whale, actually. See if I care.” Lance clears his throat. His face is getting steadily more flushed, and oh God it has nothing to do with the heat does it. “I don’t, in case that’s unclear –”

“Lance,” Keith says, a little more forcefully. Because – because oh God, this means. This means. “What do you mean, letters?”

“A new alphabet I came up with in my spare time,” Lance snaps, shoving Keith back and getting to his feet. “What do you think, you idiot.”

He tries to walk off, but Keith doesn’t let him. He wraps his hand around his wrist and tugs him back – too forcefully, accidentally, and Lance yelps as he stumbles right into Keith’s lap. Keith doesn’t stop him from moving frantically back, a little warm himself.

“Lance.” His tone is urgent. “Lance, I wrote you letters too.”

Finally, he stops squirming. “You did?”

“Yes. I don’t know if I can – I mean, I don’t have any here, but they’re stashed in Black, I couldn’t leave – oh.”

Lance’s lips are pressed to his.

Lance’s lips. 

Are pressed.

To his.

Lance is kissing him.

“Oh – oh.”

“Man, you really are an idiot.” 

His harsh words are significantly softened because they’re, y’know, mumbled into his mouth. Keith can’t quite bring himself to complain about that one, really, since Lance is warm but not suffocatingly slow and his mouth keeps curving into a smile and his lips are soft and. And. For once he’s too preoccupied to pick a real fight. 

Keith can live with him like this, he thinks.

“My letters.” Keith pulls away slightly, clearing his throat. “You can’t. Read them.”

Lance tilts his head. “Why?”

Embarrassed, Keith gestures between the two of them. “This didn’t – occur to me, Lance. So.”

A shit-eating grin curls across the Red Paladin’s face. “What didn’t occur to you, hot stuff?”

“You know,” Keith warns, glaring. His ears feel like they’re burning, and not just because of the stupid nickname. 

“I don’t!”

“You do, asshole, because you’re smirking like you do.” “No need to get presumptuous, Keithy. I simply do not understand. What didn’t occur to you –” he leans in again, breath tickling Keith’s neck and making him shudder – “me? Like…this? Close to you?” He presses a small kiss to the underside of Keith’s jaw. “...Liking you, maybe?” Keith’s breathing is embarrassingly heavy for what’s barely a little kissing. He tries desperately to get himself under control, but with Lance so, so close… “Or was it yourself you didn’t understand, hm? Wax a lot of poetic about me in those letters?”

Keith did. It’s true. He remembers one humiliating instance where he, in frustration of forgetting the details, tried to map out Lance’s face – the freckles that dot his nose, the shine of his brown eyes when he makes a perfect shot, the curve of his wide grin. He’s pretty sure ‘sparkling’ was used in description at least twice, which is…bad. 

In a last ditch effort, Keith gets his hands on Lance’s chest, lays his palms back, and shoves. When he’s flat on his back against the jungle floor, eyes wide and head tilted back to watch Keith’s face, Keith kisses him quiet. 

It works.

It works very well.

“Okay, we gotta – we gotta – not that this isn’t great, it is, but we gotta –”

Finally, Lance is the flustered one, the wordless one. Keith relishes in the feeling.

“Keith, get off, we –”

Finally, Lance succeeds in pushing Keith back. He rests on his heels, pouting (and subsequently ignoring the fact that he’s pouting, because, what kind of witchcraft).

“We have to go,” Lance says sternly. “Okay? We can – do this later. We gotta get back.”

Keith huffs. “They’re the ones who sent us away. They can deal for a few hours.”

“It’s been a few hours,” Lance reminds him. “Let’s just go, okay? Lots of excitement for one day.” He tilts his head back, smirking. “If we leave now I’ll set Red on autopilot and we can make out on the way back.”

Cold air in Red’s cockpit? Backdrop of stars and space? Somewhere to be that isn’t a jungle floor?

“Sold,” Keith says, hastily getting to his feet. The walk back to the Lion is the least complaining Keith has ever done about anything, even in his own head. 

Right before they walk into Red’s waiting and open mouth, Lance plucks a yellow, curved fruit from a tree. He tosses it to Keith, grinning widely.

“Mission accomplished.”

–––

happy holidays colleen :DD

[callum-23]

just discovered ur acc, who's ur fav character? (and yeah, this is me asking for u to rant abt ur fav)

L A N C E !!!

Lance is my favourite!! For many reasons, but mostly because I relate to him on a lot of levels, mainly with

- self recognition issues, aka what happened when Lance doubted his skills as a paladin, and was thinking about stepping down.

I struggle with this, mostly as an artist, as I've seen my friends, and other people I know in life, have better skills, and most of the times doubting myself about my artist skills 😔 But I've gotten better at just focusing on my own art and in turn I felt like it helped me get better!!

- value in relationships, platonic, family, romantic even. I love how he values his relationships with the other paladins, about how he's always willing to take steps for others, comforting his friends, and always willing to step up as a person, even though he's cocky and can be full of himself (mostly in the earlier seasons) he's got a heart of gold underneath all that!!

Lance tends to put up this persona of himself being a "ladies man," the cocky flirt even. But there's so much more to his character than just that, he's not just the love interest, he tends to be the emotional support of others, a hard worker, he's also a pretty good well rounded character, he has his own flaws and insecurites, which help him become a better paladin throughout the show. Honestly, though, later, seasons mainly treat him as the "love interest," and I don't think that's really a way to describe him, as he's just SO much more than that!!

I love his dynamic with other characters, SO SO MUCH!

There's Hunk and Lance. They're basically best friends!! Best friends since the garrison, I love their moments together, even though it's not much, and mostly joking and small banter, but in the end they're really close friends who've always got eachothers backs, and knowing how close they are, makes them a really good team. They show their best values and bring out the best in each other!!

There's Pidge and Lance, who are more like a brother/sister duo, with Lance being like a second brother to Pidge. A moment that really stood out to me was Pidge dragging Lance along to help her find enough GAC to purchase a video game from the space mall, I love how Lance just simply went along with it, spending time with her as if she was his own sister, and in return, Pidge traded away a video game so that Allura could get a dress for her date with Lance, as Pidge knew how much this meant to him, even though she was reluctant at first!

Coran and Lance, having a father-son bond, similar to Shiro, being the guide for the paladins, acting as a father figure (space dad)

And then there's Keith and Lance, Keith and Lance, the "rivals" who compete for Np reason, who grow to accept eachother. A good example of acceptance shown between their bond is when the Black Lion had chosen Keith as the paladin, while at first, Lance was jealous, he learned to realise and proceeded to comfort Keith about his new position, showing that yes its going to he difficult, but he says to Keith that he is the one for the job, and gives him a fond look, stating that even though no one can replace Shiro, Keith can lead the team, and that he'll always be there with Keith. (Kinda cute as Lance sorta becomes his right hand man!) And the fact that Lance trusts Keith enough to get some words before his date with Allura, Lance going to Keith of all people when he was unsure about his place as a paladin, Lance even comforting Keith, and helping him during missions, being by his side, the jokes, the playful name calling. Everything, I love their dynamic!!

I love Lance as a character, sure, I'm still SUPER upset on how his life is after the events of the series, but in short, Lance, Lance McClain is my favourite vld character.

Literally the best sharpshooter ever !! ⬆️

[cosmosnout]

KH OC WEEK 20204

Day 3: connections

This took a bit longer than meant, but with the amount of things I wanted to include, it felt important to take my time.

Shiro’s part focusses a lot more on the relationships between them and the canon characters, while Aiko’s, Merin’s, Viktor's, and Tähti’s parts focus on the relationship they have with each other. (And some additional canon characters.)

Also there’s a lot of text here so sorry about any spelling mistakes haha.

Shiro

Xehanort (young)

Helped Shiro to get out of the realm of darkness and is helping them to recover their memory.

I am a firm believer that despite his cold demeanor, Xehanort has the capability of expressing other emotions outside of being a snarky jerk. He just needs to be around the right kind of people to bring that side of him out, and Eraqus and Shiro are exactly the sorts of people to make his brain cells die. /pos

Xehanort’s interest in becoming Shiro’s friend is due to his dreams as a boy of a mysterious child who he believes to be Shiro. (Some lost childish part of him does genuinely wish to be their friend, but he is also quite interested in Shiro’s connection to the keyblade war.)

They spent a couple years peacefully as friends attempting to recover Shiro’s memories, before Shiro uncovered Xehanort's true plans and the two ended up parting ways to fight on the opposite sides. They’re so divorced LMAO

Shiro feels quite betrayed and thinks their friendship was just a plot to get information out of them, while in reality their friendship was still genuine despite Xehanort's hidden motives.

They have a very bittersweet relationship.

Like when you just have that one person who sees right through you and you could just sit in complete silence for forever and still have a good time.

But oh my god do they also just bring out the worst in each other LMAO.

Xehanort is still a snarky bastard 99% of the time, and Shiro is so ready to throw his snarkiness back at him. It is remarkable if they get through a conversation without one of them trying to piss off the other one.

Anyhow they are so doomed by the narrative.

I’ve had a difficult time defining the relationship between these two, but in recent years since becoming aware of my own feelings as an aroace person, I feel like queerplatonic is a really good way to put it. I think that there can be strong emotions and love held between two people without it necessarily having to be romantic, and that’s just as wonderful as any other relationship.

Aqua

The first person Shiro came across once they emerged in the realm of darkness.

Shiro has a lot of admiration towards her and hopes to meet her again!

Shrio definitely has a little crush on her haha

Roxas and Xion

Shiro’s keyblade apprentices!

adopted little siblings

Shiro fought relentlessly to keep both of them safe but ended up failing as they both returned to Sora.

Losing them was a big wake up call to the organization's true nature and Xehanort's sinister plans.

Namine

Little sister<<3

Shiro took one look at her and was like “yup anything happens to her and I’ll make everyone's life a living nightmare”

Got Namine her crayons and sketchbook

Was very devastated when she had to return to Kairi.

Axel/Lea

Pyromaniac besties

Co-paretning Roxas and Xion (platonic)

They became good friends during their time in the organization, and they made an oath to bring Roxas and Xion back after Axel’s recompletion.

Shiro tutors him and Kairi on keyblade wielding, during their time in The Secret Forest.

Ephemer and Skuld

Childhood Bestfriend

Shiro has foggy dreams and visions of the both of them. (They truly haunt Shiro’s life like it’s a full time job)

Even once called Sora “Ephemer” by mistake. They were both extremely confused.

Shiro is actively trying to find them.

Aiko and Merin

The two start off on a bad foot due to a misunderstanding that led to Aiko and Viktor leaving their homeworld. Aiko thought Merin was the one to invade their world with darkness and ended up chasing after her through a dark corridor. In reality, Merin and Tähti were running away from Ansem (SOD) and happened to pass through their world.

Aiko and Merin ended up becoming separated from Viktor and Tähti and end up begrudgingly teaming up to find their families .

During their time together, they end up eventually becoming friends and even end up getting into a relationship together later on.

Their opposite personalities seemed like an issue when they first met, but they grew to love and learn from those differences and they’ve really helped each other to grow as people.

Viktor and Tähti

Viktor was at first very frustrated to be left to babysit a child, but switched into big brother mode pretty much subconsciously.

They’re a funny little duo since they’re both terrible fighters and are pretty much constantly just running for their lives.

Viktor appreciates Tähti’s quiet personality and knows to be patient with them.

Tähti also didn’t care too much about Viktor at first, but seeing him make an effort to keep them safe reminded them a lot of Merin.

Other friends!

Tähti, Namine and Xion!

Tähti met Namine during one of her visits to Ansem’s lab, and after some encouragement from the others, Tähti manages to strike up a conversation with her.

The two have a shared interest in art and like sharing their work with each other!

Tähti also got introduced to Xion through Namine, and despite Tähti’s antisocial nature, the two ended up quickly becoming good friends. (Nothing is as strong as the bond between two neurodivergent teenagers)

I like to think Kairi hangs out with them occasionally, but also she’s kinda busy trying to find Sora :’)

Viktor and Ienzo

Met post kh3 and became quick friends over their similar personalities and shared interest in tech.

Everyone around them was very excited that they were finally making friends. (Ansem and Aiko wiping a tear out of the corner of their eye)

Merin and Vanitas

Weird little brother creature thingy kinda

They met briefly while Merin and Aiko visited the realm of darkness.

They had a short confrontation where they fought with Merin winning.

Didn’t have the chance to talk much outside of that, but I think they have a secret mutual respect for each other due to being similar beings.

Merin and Isa

Got introduced post kh3 and ended up befriending each other as Viktor was spending more time with the apprentices.

They match each other’s tired energy

They like to just kinda sit back and watch as their friends mingle.

@khoc-week

[lordpheles]

Did Shiro become Mephisto?

In the first chapter of Blue Exorcist, before Satan attacks Rin, Shiro receives an unexpected visitor. The lantern pops off into blue flames as Rin's power awakens, signalling to Shiro that his time has run out.

We know that Satan possesses Shiro at the end of chapter one, and Shiro kills himself to save Rin. In the following sequence, we see Shiro's tombstone. Strangely, the ground is unbroken, as if no burial has occurred. 

Did Shiro indeed die? 

Or did Mephisto save him?

Mephisto was his best friend, for better or for worse. 

And Satan possessing him was the worst thing that could happen. But because of this close friendship, I believe that Mephisto saved Shiro, or at the very least, used his demon powers to preserve Shiro's body. The only way he could do that would be to possess Shiro and heal his body.

Mephisto's first healing test occurred during the Blue Night.

During the Blue Night, Mephisto had to make some difficult choices. He had to choose between saving his son Abel Franken or Shiro.

Satan was rampaging in search of a new body.

He first possessed Abel. Mephisto attempts to save Abel through a temporary possession. Even though Abel was struggling, he was still alive. But then, Satan suddenly jumped from Abel into Shiro's body, thwarting Mephisto's efforts. 

Ultimately, Mephisto abandons Abel to protect Shiro, because saving Shiro is the key to saving the world.

Even though Shiro wasn't quite strong enough to weather Satan's power, he did far better than any other exorcist. It becomes apparent that Shiro just needed more time to acclimate to demons. He also needs a reason to submit to Satan, and that will take years of soul-searching. Especially from a demon-hating exorcist. Even a teenaged Yukio ( in chapter 2) mentioned that Shiro was the most powerful exorcist that ever lived, and this is why he could handle Satan.

At this stage Shiro's body was almost strong enough, but his mind and emotional maturity wasn't.

Satan stole Yuri away from Shiro, and Shiro hated Satan so much. He'd never consider coexisting with him

------------------------------------------

Mephisto hides his true plans for Shiro at this stage.

He doesn't want Shiro to ruin his carefully orchestrated plans. He's too immature to understand it all. Shiro doesn't trust him, because he's a demon, and Shiro's world view is small and selfish.

Mephisto attributes Shiro's survival during the Blue Night to the proximity to the Goddess of creation, Shemihaza, but Mephisto is working on a redirect to help keep his possession a secret.

How long has Mephisto been possessing Shiro? It's been a very long time.

Mephisto has been possessing Shiro since childhood, strengthening Shiro's body. It takes years for a human to become resilient enough to become a demon's vessel. Shiro, of course, seemed unaware that it was happening. But without Mephisto, Shiro would have died young and never reached adulthood. Mephisto helped Shiro survive the Section 13 experiments that killed all the other Azazel clones.

As Shiro aged, Mephisto hung around for some, if not all, of Shiro's sexual exploits. When Mephisto takes Rin into the past, he's proud of the horny escapades, almost as if he was taking part.

Plus, this weird situation surrounds the birth of Rin and Yukio. Did Satan sire them, or did Shiro? Or was it Mephisto taking Shiro's body for a ride? Whatever happened, Shiro doesn't remember any of it. To put it mildly, Rin and Yukio's parentage is a crazy mess of demon DNA.

Other clues Mephisto was possessing Shiro.

Mephisto seems to be distinctly aware of conversations Rin had with Shiro. And every so often, he tosses those comments back in Rin's face to mock him. Mephisto loves to freak Rin out with his powers, powers that Rin can't even begin to understand.

Back to Shiro in Chapter 1

Why would Mephisto save Shiro's life only to fake his death?

He doesn't want Lucifer to know about his actual plans. He wants Lucifer to think that he's grooming Rin Yukio to be Satan's new body This also redirects Satans efforts away from Shiro, allowing him to gain strength.

Plus, Mephisto needs Rin and Yukio to grow, mature, and become emotionally independent. Mephisto also realizes his temporary possessions of Shiro are not enough. Satan's second possession of Shiro also resulted in terrible trauma to his body. The only way to make Shiro more resilient is for Mephisto to possess him fully. This also hides him effectively.

The older version of Shiro must know about the plan at this point and agreed to it. Mephisto no doubt uses Rin and Yukio's lives as a bargaining chip.

Yukio is trying to become powerful like Shiro to attempt to take Satan on, Rin struggles to combat his demon side and can't regulate his anger. Both boys are in a lot of trouble, and they are too young to bear this terrible burden.

To stop Satan, Shiro will come back from the dead and take their place.

---------------------------------------------------

How did Mephisto fake his death?

When Mephisto possesses Shiro, the exorcist immediately takes on the Demon's likeness.

When I read some of the Blue Exorcist light novels, even the female version of Mephisto looked almost identical to the current Mephisto. A new human vessel doesn't drastically change a demon's appearance.

But why would Mephisto do something so risky?

Shiro is Satan's human soulmate.

Humans and demons can coexist. 

Finding a body is like romantic love/lust to a demon, and they will do anything to achieve this close relationship with a human. We still don't know what the possession process does to the human host, but I predict that a symbiotic relationship occurs, and both traits meld seamlessly together. 

For example, it would make sense if Mephisto's old body were Faust. The German alchemist taught the Demon Mephisto how to speak German. The soul of Faust may continue to reside within Mephisto's mind regardless of the form the Demon chooses. The souls stick to Mephisto like glue unless Mephisto gives a soul away. 

When I read the light novels, they described Mephisto as having two minds: the Demon and the Host. So, I will assume that each personality still lives on.

------------------------------------------

Shiro and Satan were meant for each other. 

Even though Mephisto has the hots for Shiro, he's not Shiro's soulmate. Satan is. 

Eventually, Mephisto knows that he must give Shiro up. They both must bear the pain of saving Assiah and the loss of each other's bond.

I believe that in the blue exorcist universe, there is a human for every Demon; they simply need to find each other. These humans have similar personality traits to the Demons they bond with. They are almost two sides of the same coin, and it helps the transition become smooth.

Shiro and Satan are similar. 

They are both violent, and they both fall in love with the same woman. They have a dark sense of humour; they are unfeeling, jealous, unsympathetic, and immature pricks.

Except later on they are not the same: Shiro changes and grows to emotional maturity. 

This growth will control Satan in Assiah when they join together and stop him from becoming a world destroyer.

Shiro suffers the loss of Yuri, learns to become a caring father, learns to love, learns to sacrifice, and learns from past mistakes. Most importantly, he grows to care about demons (Rin) and learns to give demons the benefit of the doubt (Mephisto). Shiro's emotional maturity grows as he ages. This transition takes a long time, almost 20 years.

Satan, meanwhile, doesn't change. Demons have difficulty with emotions. He's just as damaged as he always was. But that's why he needs old man Shiro to guide him. 

What happens When Shiro comes back from the dead?

When Shiro finally lets Satan possess him, Satan will gain Shiro's capacity to love (to an extent) and hopefully his maturity. Shiro should be able to control or tamp down Satan's less savoury attributes. If Shiro and Satan can find common ground to coexist in the same body, Satan will learn to be human and potentially stay alive in Assiah. Just like Yuri tells Shiro before she dies, someday you will be Rin and Yukio's real father. Did she mean the whole combination of Satan and Shiro together?

------------------------------

Is Shiro's body strong enough to take on Satan?

Not yet...

Both times that Satan possessed Shiro, Shiro stabbed himself to rid himself of the Demon. In both cases, Shiro's body started to break down right away. Shiro needed more time to acclimate to a demonic possession.

That's why Mephisto slowly possessed Shiro in small increments throughout his life to strengthen his DNA for Satan. This is why Shiro became such a mighty Paladin; the powers of the Time King fueled him.

In the section 13 experiments, Satan eventually hopped into the clone Goro. But it took ten years of this hopping until Goro could accept Satan. The exact process must happen with Shiro. Only Satan is too powerful all at once, and Shiro has to settle for the second strongest demon king, Mephisto.

What will finally happen?

Mephisto will finally play his final secret card and give up Shiro.

That's why he keeps his body safe and barely uses his powers in the last few chapters. When the time is right, there will be a big reveal that will save Satan from himself and the lives of Rin and Yukio. Mephisto will need a new body to join, and he's desperately trying to attract Shura to take on that role. 

But will Shura do it?

To save the lives of Rin and Yukio. Yes.

[honeyflower15]

HitsuHina Week Day 12: Birthday / Delinquent AU

Rating: K

Summary: Everyone assumes Hitsugaya is a delinquent based on how he looks. But not Hinamori. She sees the real him and helps make his birthday a good one.

“Bastard!”

Hitsugaya ducked as a punch was thrown his way. He swore people never learned. If you’re going to attack someone, don’t shout out your attack or yell at them. It defeats the purpose and only ends with you getting your ass kicked instead of your opponent. This was a lesson Hitsugaya had learned the hard way.

He grunted softly as he dodged the next attack and delivered a kick to his attacker’s chest. He had been surrounded by a group consisting of six boys. The day was only halfway over, and he had been trying to relax on the roof when these idiots decided to challenge him to a fight.

He’d been snoozing on the school roof. It didn’t matter that it was the end of December, and it had been threatening to snow all day. To him, this was the perfect weather, and he had wanted to enjoy some peace.

These fools somehow got wind of his favorite spot and surprised him. He managed to jump out of the way just as a bat nearly smashed open his skull. He had been thrown off slightly and ended with a punch to the face, but he’d been on guard since then. Two had already fallen to the ground and were knocked unconscious.

“Take this!” The one who tried attacking him before with the baseball bat had attempted another hit. Too bad for him; Hitsugaya was prepared for this. With a leg kick, he knocked the bat out of the other’s hand and managed to grab it himself.

Using his thumb to wipe the bit of blood that ran from his lip, he sneered at the group and pointed the bat in their direction. “Back off,”

His warning was enough to scare them off. They scattered, dragging the two unconscious as they fled the scene. “Cowards,” he scoffed, chucking the bat off to the side of the roof.

Sighing to himself, he sat down on the cold floor. To others, it would be too cold to sit on the icy concrete, but it felt good to him. It helped his body relax.

Running a hand through his now messy locks, he sighed again. This hadn’t been the first time he was attacked, and he doubted it would be the last. Since middle school, it seemed like the whole world was out to get him. Other kids avoided him, put off by his snow-white hair and cold teal eyes. He’s heard them whispering, saying how it felt like he had an icy presence. That seemed reason enough for others to avoid him and those who didn’t try to fight him.

It seems he’s got a nasty look on his face, to boot, so he’s been stuck with idiots picking fight him.

His appearance didn’t help much with the adults either. They seemed to avoid eye contact altogether with him. His teachers and classmates all assumed he was a delinquent based on his looks and the numerous fights he’d been in. He scoffs, already growing annoyed at this problem that never seems to disappear.

It’s not his fault that others just assumed things. He didn’t ask to be born with this hair color, nor the way his eyes look. Even if he tried to be friendly, everyone assumed he was bad news, so they avoided him like the plague.

“Shiro-chan!”

Well, not everyone.

Hinamori Momo is the only person in his life who isn’t afraid of him, besides his grandmother. They met when they were little kids. While their other classmates were too scared to approach him, she happily asked him to play with her. She was his best friend and the most important person in his life.

“I told you to stop calling me that, bed wetter.” He stuck his tongue out at her. That cursed nickname has been with him all the way back since kindergarten when she tried to pronounce his name, deemed it too difficult and gave him that nickname. Sometimes, he has nightmares that that’s what his tombstone will say.

Hinamori puffed out her cheeks, annoyed by his childish behavior. “That’s not nice, Shiro.” She was dressed in her winter coat and had a small blanket in her arms. Spreading out the light blue fabric, she sat beside him, her bento box between the two. “And don’t try and distract me. You got into another fight again.”

He rolled his eyes, “Not like I started it.” He grumbled, grabbing the plastic bag that hadn’t gotten destroyed in the fight. He had been waiting for her to join him on the roof when he decided to take a quick cat nap. He hadn’t been expecting the group of boys to try and jump him on their lunch hour.

He was startled when he felt her warm fingers brush against his bruised cheek. “I wish they’d stopped trying to hurt you,” a bandaid was carefully applied over the tiny cut. “If only they saw you the way I did.” She whispered, her words so soft he wondered if he dreamt them.

He gulped, his face growing hot at how close she was to him. He swore she could hear how fast his heart was beating. “It’s fine,” he gently pushed her hand away and took a big bite of the sandwich he bought. “It doesn’t bother me.” He grumbled between bites, washing it down with some milk.

Honestly, he didn’t care if others viewed him differently. So long as she was by his side, he didn’t need anybody else.

Frowning to herself, Hinamori picked at her lunch. She knew he didn’t like to have these talks, but she wished there was more that they could do. She’s tried talking to her classmates and even some teachers, but they all thought she was the crazy one for hanging out with him. They were judging Hitsugaya based on his appearance instead of trying to get to know him better. If only they could see he was super sweet, kind, and fun.

Although, now might not be the best example. She watched in awe as he devoured his sandwich, finishing one carton of milk before opening a fresh one. “I didn’t realize you’d like milk so much.” It seemed like she startled him by the way his shoulders tensed, and he looked intently at his beverage. “You know, if you drink too much, you’re going to give yourself a stomachache.”

“Shut up,” he huffed, gulping down more of the cool liquid. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he hoped he might grow taller if he drank enough.

Part of his problem was that he was short. When others first see him, many often mistook him for an elementary school student. Hinamori was at least a foot taller than him, and many assumed they were siblings. He always corrected them when they said that. Hinamori was not his sister; she was his best friend.

He just wished she was more than that.

Casting a glance to his side, he watched her briefly. She was munching away at her lunch, a canister of hot chocolate now opened. She often complained about the cold on their morning commute but never said a word when they ate lunch outside. She would come bundled up and join him, seemingly so happy. He’s tried eating inside for her sake, but the others try to pick fights with him anytime, so eating on the roof was the safest. Or at least, it had been until those guys found him. They would have to move spots again. Maybe something more private and enclosed.

They could always try the equipment shed. He could clean it up for them to enjoy. It would keep the actual delinquents off his ass, and he could spend some alone time with Hinamori. Maybe if the mood is right she might start seeing him as a man.

Crushing the second empty milk carton, he tossed it in the plastic bag and sighed. That was the whole point of his meal. He was trying to gain the nutrients to grow taller. If he’s bigger, the others may leave him alone, and he’ll be better prepared to defend against them and protect Hinamori. Those bastards had tried more than once to get to him by using her. When they did that, he had no qualms about holding back. He swore to protect her, and that was not a promise he would never break.

Plus, if he was finally taller than her, she may start looking at him as a man and no longer that little kid who used to spit watermelon seeds at her.

“Ohh, that’s right!” Her sudden exclamation jolted him out of his thoughts. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a small blue gift bag. “Happy Birthday, Hitsugaya-kun!”

And there it was. That wonderful and beautiful smile of hers. It was that smile that made him take her hand when she first offered it to him. That smile was what made him feel reassured when he got into his first fight because someone didn’t like how he looked. Her smile was the first thing he fell in love with.

“Thank you,” he smiled right back, happily accepting her gift.

“Open it!” She urged him, putting away her half-eaten lunch so she could focus on him.

Chuckling at her cute behavior, he opened the gift. She could give him a rock, and he would love it because he knew she spent hours trying to find something special for him. That process alone made him feel special.

Reaching inside, he pulled out a small white and blue charm. It was a bit different from the ones you buy at the shrine. For starters, this looked more handmade; the stitch work on the fabric wasn’t bad, but not that of a professional. The look was of an icy print with a dragon design.

“I hope you like it,” a nimble finger of hers came up to twirl a dark lock of hair. “I know it’s not the nicest looking, but I tried my best.” Her smile was gentle, and her brown eyes lighting up her face as she looked into his bewildered teal-colored eyes. “I made it to protect you and wished for you to have a peaceful and happy life!”

He had to turn his whole body away to cover up his reaction. The goofy smile he wore practically took up his whole face, but that couldn’t hide his rosy cheeks. The feelings he was hiding away always picked the worst time to surface.

“Stupid Hinamori,” he thought, bringing one knee up to rest his cheek so he could hide his face more. “Why do you have to be so cute!?” He groaned softly. He brought the charm up to his heart, willing it to calm down so he could properly look at the girl.

“Do you not like it?” Her words seemed uncertain, and it made his whole body tense up.

“No!” Spinning back around, he faced her. Hoping that the lovestruck look he had was not so obvious. “Thank you very much,” he spoke softly, carefully holding the precious item in his hand. He already knew he would never leave the house without it. “I love it.” He loved her.

He felt like Cupid had struck him with another arrow at the look of pure joy on her face. He didn’t think it was possible for him to fall more in love, but it seemed so.

“Shiro-chan, you need to make a wish.” It may seem silly, but he went along with it. Besides, today was his birthday, and if he wanted to be silly today, he could.

Bringing the charm to hover over his heart, he made a silent wish. “I wish to grow stronger to protect Hinamori.”

Others may find it strange that he used his wish for her sake, but her happiness was his happiness. He never wanted her to be without that smile. He supposed he could’ve wished for her to return his feelings, but that’s not how he wanted it to happen. If…no, when she falls in love with him, it’ll be because of him and not some magical item. Until that happens, he’s happy to spend his days with her.

One day, he will tell her how he really feels, but for now, he is happy to spend another year with her.

[javaghoul]

Oh god 💀

Ok first off. Ayato is like, what. 15 when we meet him? That pubescent rage is a class all its own. Kaneki and Ayato are COMPLETELY different because as stated before, Kaneki is a lil bitch. Though I will admit my knowledge of Ayato is much, much less, my perception of him is much more "the world fucked me over and I'm gonna fuck it back" than Kaneki's "the world fucked me over and I deserve it, but maybe if I do the right thing I won't deserve it anymore and people will mourn for me"

Re: People get catharsis from Kaneki's breaking point -

Oh absolutely. It feels so good to watch the underdog get a lick in. People want to have their break and change like they perceive him doing, but... He doesn't. He has an episode. Freshly traumatized even further than he already is. But that meek little guy is still in there. It doesn't go away. He's awkward still. He makes poor decisions. If anything he's WORSE - Touka beats him up for a reason 💀 Because now he has this complex in his brain that makes him a BITCH to work with

Also. I almost never see anyone relate to the other Kens :/ I have one friend who was Shiro through and through like that was HIS STAPLE (And he like. I'm not razzin him for that. Considering his life it's valid and his perception isn't one I have this issue with). That's fine like idc, but he's kind of in love with me and has been for a very long time, so when I start gushing ab the Haises, suddenly he's Haise. Suddenly he's Reaper 🙄 Fool. (Sorry, that's gossip, but that's the only divergence I've seen. Also Reaper still makes sense ofc like I said but the TIMING yk?)

- 👽

hahaha, but you know what I mean right, you must've seen the comparisons that are occasionally made between Ken and Ayato too? I agree with you in that they are polar opposites in personality and motivation. Any similarities are tenuous I think. I never thought of it that way (ken acting the way he does in a way to prove he doesn't deserve that treatment)... Looking at it from that angle adds another layer of psychological issues he has to deal with.

I think after aogiri and before "Haise" he would Def be more difficult to work with as you said. He gives off an unapproachable attitude and like he can't be told/helped because he's lived 10fucked up lives already and nothing is new to him. I kinda understand that too, because he's definitely the only (except Naki? Maybe?) character to go through Yamoris' torture and come out the other side, not to mentioned the ghoulification etc etc. but yeah, I think "that" Kaneki is the one I would find most frightening. Because he's unreachable.

Lol I can't offer any advice or anything regarding your friend who is Haise-inspired. Is he at least going through the Kaneki/Haise evolutions in the right chronological order 🙃😅

Thanks for writing anyway!

[snackleggg]

Keith & Lotor parallels going burr in my brain.

The fact that the reason they turned out so different in the end was that Keith found a support system while Lotor was completely alone (both due to the actions of the people around him and his own baggage later on)

Father wise, Keith's dad was obviously a good loving parent to him from the little we see. He was a genuinely good guy and had a positive impact on who Keith is even if he wasn't around in his life for long. Meanwhile, Zarkon was neglectful at best, he was heartless and caused untold amounts of emotional and psychological harm to Lotor growing up.

Mentor wise, Keith ended up having Shiro who became like a brother to him. Though we don't see alot of it, from the flashbacks we do get its obvious Shiro took on a parental role in Keith's life after he joined the Garrison. Meanwhile, Lotor's governess was painted as a cold and distant figure. She could've filled a parental role since she was presumably the adult that spent the most time around him but that wasn't her duty, her job was to educate Lotor and the Omega Shield episode shows us she does that using pain as a motivator (which isn't great considering Lotor was like 6 or something when he started learning from her)

Friends wise, Keith is equals with the other paladins. They're peers and while Keith may have been a little closed off to start he obviously opens up to them and trusts them with his life. Meanwhile, there is obviously a divide between Lotor and his generals. They respect him but there is this distance between them. He's not their peer, he's their Prince. He doesn't tell them his full plan or clue them in on his goals, he just gives orders and expects them to follow. It's why his team fell apart and betrayed him, a contrast to how Voltron is built on trust. At this point in his life, Lotor's lack of connection is no longer a direct result of negligence of the adults around him (though their negligence in his formative years is a factor) but instead is caused by his own self sabotaging and inability to trust anyone. Keith does sabotage his relationship with the paladins a little when he becomes unreliable to the team and then leaves for the Blade but he comes back to them and they have a stronger bond than ever (forever insane about the fact that the rift between Keith and the others started because he was late to missions, and when he took up the mantle of the black paladin again he unlocked an ability that let him make it to the fight against Lotor on time to save them. The parallels man)

Mother wise, boy where do I start. Neither of them knew their mothers and both were obviously desperate for closure when it comes to these missing figures in their lives. Keith seeks it through joining the Blades while Lotor seeks it by becoming obsessed with his altean heritage. Krolia & Honerva both care deeply for their sons but where Krolia express this in a healthy way, choosing to protect her son and leave him where he could grow up safe even if it was at the cost of having a relationship with him, Honerva becomes obsessed with having a relationship with Lotor even when he rejects her and even going as far as tearing the multiverse apart for it.

Also the contrast between how Lotor dealt with Narti being used as Haggar's puppet vs Keith's fight with clone Shiro really gets the difference between their characters across. The moment Lotor figures it out, he immediately kills her. It does seem like it's a difficult decision for him in the moment but he still does it in the end and seemingly doesn't take any time to explain to the other generals why he did it, expecting them to blindly follow him like always. Meanwhile Keith never gives up on the possibility of getting Shiro back. Even when it separates him from the team, puts his own life in danger, even when he's falling to his probable death he never let's go of Shiro. Its because of that they had a body to be able to bring Shiro back.

[xjulixred45x]

The Paladins (+Lotor and Allura) x Komori!Reader.

reader: feminine

Genre: Headcannons

Warnings: nothing worrisome. fluff.

Shiro

And he knows you is like "PROTECT AT ALL COSTS"

chances are they saved you from some group of idiots with bad intentions. So Shiro is a good listener after that. you stay with them because well, there is not much choice.

Cleaning up the castle a bit, cooking with Hunk, making sure everyone is well fed and happy, you pretty much become a space mom.

And Shiro is the space father.

Try to help you reach things on the high shelves. Although he finds it cute, he himself will lower things from the high wings to avoid future accidents.

He is not very sweet but he will eat everything you cook.

Yui is about 1.58 and Shiro is more or less 1.80, HUGS WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

He is by far the most gentle of all. Understand that having that attitude all the time can be a great mental drain, so if you need a break or be the one to take care of for a while. Count on him.

Saying how he appreciates how you raise the morale of the group in your own way .

It's too cute, I can't-

Keith

It is the most difficult by far, but not impossible (especially with your attitude).

At first he saw you more as a victim, a poor soul in a way. I didn't expect you to be so...lively afterwards.

See how, despite everything, you continued to be happy, cheering everyone on-CHEERING HIM, taking care of him, worrying about everyone...

It made me see you more as a survivor than a victim.

It made him respect you for handling the situation like that. At the same time he began to show more interest, in a way.

Similar to Shiro, he shows his appreciation to you for acts of service. Not only helping with the heavy stuff, but also being the first to jump in front of you if there's an attack on the castle.

Again, he doesn't have a sweet tooth, but if you ask him to try something for dinner, he'll pretend to grudgingly if he does.

When they move into some sort of relationship, not much changes, except that it's more open and the protection kicks in.

If Keith gets mad at something or someone(coughcofLANCEcofcough) he will go straight to you to vent, this is especially true when he becomes the black lion pilot. You want to know if what you are saying is valid or if you are getting carried away.

You are by far the most trusted person on the ship (along with Shiro).

Lance

Lance is the one who falls the fastest, and falls HARD

Make it very clear to him when he wants something with you, but not in the same way as when he is casually flirting with someone. They are like a little more personal questions, you know if he can have something with you.

Lance misses life on earth a lot, it is a fact, that you want to take care of him, listen to his problems and assure him that he is not the "seventh wheel" of the group means A LOT to him.

Also since you don't invalidate his concerns and contrast them with real, positive facts about him, he doesn't have to be the clown of the group to be able to talk to you.

That's probably why he fell in love so quickly.

Chivalrous ASF, opening the doors, giving up the seat, helping with heavy things that he can barely carry, etc.

There's also a bit of insecurity about dating you, he's full of doubts about whether he's really enough for you, comparing himself to the other paladins in the party. Although you shut it up immediately because you know it's true.

Cuddly! Lots of hugs and kisses on the cheeks. Especially if you did something like cook for the WHOLE group or just walked a healthy line between helping everyone and helping yourself.

He definitely wants to introduce you to his family (especially if you don't have one of your own)! He assures you that they will receive you and love you just as much as they love you!

TOO CUTE I CAN'T-

Hunk

! kitchen companions!

Both can spend hours and hours exchanging recipes, telling cooking stories, experiences, etc. and never get bored.

They have something like a system to be able to make meals between the two of them so as not to overload the other with work. eg, you the desserts, the dinner, you the dinner, the desserts, miti miti, etc.

They taste each other's food 🥺

Hunk is also considered the most morale booster in a certain way, so under no circumstances will he let you feel bad or inferior to them just for not being a paladin! You help in many other ways!

Hunk is also considered the most morale booster in a certain way, so under no circumstances will he let you feel bad or inferior to them just for not being a paladin! You help in many other ways!

It's the best shoulder to cry on if things get too tense or if you just can't keep happy for once, that's okay.

similar to Lance, he wants to introduce you to his family, his parents more than anything, he knows that children naturally love you, but it is very IMPORTANT that their parents approve of you.

Needless to say, you have it around your finger ;).

Pidge(romantic/platonic)

She's used to being the one the group cares about most as the youngest, so your joining is a breath of fresh air.

Don't get her wrong, Paladins respect her, but not in the same way that YOU respect her. You still see her as a child, but you also recognize her brilliant mind and trust her to protect you.

You are very aware of her, whether it is for her to bathe, remember to eat, sleep long enough, etc. You remind him a lot of a mother hen.

She may seem upset about this at first, but it's really because you remind her of her own mother, which makes her nostalgic and somewhat sad.

But he quickly gets over it because he KNOWS you're doing it with their best interests in mind.

Love your food, really love it, especially if it tastes like peanuts.

If he gets in trouble with Lance or any of the Paladins, he goes and hides behind you, like a little kid with an evil grin.

Damn gremlin.

Allura

Girls' nights Girls' nights Girls' nights Girls' nights Girls' nights-

They become friends very quickly! She gets along very well with paladins, yes, but with you it's a whole new level.

I doubt Allura has ever been attracted to a woman, so when she starts to see you differently, she doesn't know what to do or whether to act "normal."

I'll probably even go to the other paladins for advice because lance and Koran don't help much.

I think she is the one who tries the most to hide this crush, more because she wants to give the image of a confident and determined leader, she wants to take the courage to say it.

And when she says it, she also gets nervous and somewhat clumsy. But adorable.

PROTECC will not hesitate to use brute force if you put yourself in danger.

Protective, even worse than Keith.

Afternoons of hair care with the space mice (seriously LOOK AT HER BEAUTIFUL HAIR).

Lotor

Let's be honest, you probably met him when he was held prisoner by the paladins and he had some degree of appreciation for you at first.

But then you started to worry about him (maybe because he reminded you of yourself when you were saved by the paladins) and you couldn't leave it like that.

So, for the sake of his mental health and your peace of mind, you made sure he was…comfortable in a way.

The Paladins+ Allura OBVIOUSLY didn't want you to do them, but there was little they could do to stop you.

You brought him food, water, things to entertain himself, blankets in case it was cold, you tried to make small talk, etc.

At first he just thought it was out of pity, so he rejected you the first few times.

But he realized pretty quickly that it was more like... empathy. you felt identified with him. So he wasn't so rude to you and started to appreciate that, you treated him like a living being regardless of his race. he likes you

When they let him walk through the castle of lions, he will most likely thank you for the good treatment compared to how the paladins saw him.

Try to "thank" you in other ways, mainly helping you out when the other paladins aren't around or can't handle it, learning a little more about human culture, and generally speaking more generally to pass the time.

If Allura and Keith were bad with overprotection, Lotor is that squared. Now that he appreciates you, there is no escaping affection.

Also, Lotor is TALL, even taller than Shiro, he could easily throw you over his shoulder and not even break a sweat.

He just can't help but find your human being too ADORABLE.

Sorry I couldn't think of much more for this part :')

[theofficersacademy]

Happy August! TOA is now officially five years old. None of the mods had this milestone in mind five years ago, but now that we're here, how about another five years?

Housekeeping

Current Month in TOA: Lone Moon

This month is event month, so there will be no new mission board! But like last year, the June & July Mission Board will be extended to run through the end of August. The Unaffiliated requirement remains in effect for the Unaffiliated & Faculty-specific tasks.

The event will run from August 1st to August 31st. Signups are now closed - stay tuned for more information tomorrow at noon EST!

Our monthly submission limit on the site that hosts our event signups has been reset so everyone is free to take the quiz for fun now.

We will be announcing a second 5th-Year Anniversary activity on August 4th and another on August 8th. This will not require IC participation. Stay tuned for the details.

Please don’t forget to leave feedback on our feedback poll for this month! We do check the responses regularly, so if you have concerns during the event, the feedback poll is an appropriate place to pop in. Alternatively, the mods’ DMs are always open. We're wiping the Wanted List this month so our character wish list will be fresh for the new year.

Speaking of the event, stay tuned for noon EST for more information!

Important Updates

The requirements to master a lord class acquired for participation in an event have been updated. You cannot master the class with the same event that you acquired it, but any official event afterwards (Arena, Ethereal ball, etc.) can count for its mastery

We are changing our event schedule for all subsequent years: there will now only be ONE Arena event per year, not two, and it will be held in November. Originally, the biannual Arena design was implemented to rigorously test the combat manual, which was brand new at the time. Now that the manual is more or less stable, we've decided that two Arena events is no longer necessary. Because we already had an Arena event this year in June though, the next Arena won't take place until November 2025.

TOA runs a lot of events, and it makes it difficult for our members (and the mods) to have a life outside of TOA or reply to regular threads in a timely manner. Many of our members also have great ideas of their own and have expressed interest in running their own mini events during the year, but there just hasn't been a good time for them when TOA has a big event every other month. We hope that removing the second Arena will give everyone some breathing room.

Other

BIRTHDAYS

August Mun Birthdays: Axl (1st), Arden (9th), Penny (19th), Ren (20th), Harrow (25th), Maxie (28th), Kuno (29th)

August Muse Birthdays: Ephraim (1st), Eirika (1st), Natasha (6th), Laslow (7th), Alfred (8th), Patty (10th), Yuri (12th), Ares (14th), Dheginsea (14th), Edward (15th), Kliff (19th), Shiro (22nd)

MUN ANNIVERSARIES

1st year: none

2nd year: Kano (3rd), Havoc (30th)

3rd year: Birdie (4th), Vio (5th), Vivi (6th)

4th year: Soji (7th), Maxie (8th)

5th year: Ree (3rd)

MUSE ANNIVERSARIES

1st year: Naesala (4th), Henry (6th)

2nd year: Linhardt (3rd), Seliph (10th), Camilla (23rd), Lloyd (30th)

3rd year: none

4th year: Marth (7th), Farina (8th)

Muses who have been in the group for a solid year will also be granted an Academy Brooch to put in their inventory. It doesn’t do anything. It just lets others know your character has been around the block. These characters are also granted a new opportunity to change houses if they wish to do so.

- The House Leaders

[lunar-solstice-plur]

⬦ Hello! We're lunar solstice, a spirigenic, traumagenic, and soulbonded system! ⬦

This blog is meant to share our experiences, hopefully majority through artwork! Though I'll also be reblogging stuff too, and will probably make some textposts.

⤞ Our main blog is @lunarsolstice-blueyouaway , AKA the blog we like with. You can follow it, but there's no real point, its just meant to be a base for this and our other account.

⤞ Our regular art blog is @blueyouaway-art , we post non-plural related art there. Please do follow us there :')

🞚 Collectively, we go by Sol, with he/they pronouns. We use I & we interchangeably. We prefer the word plural over system, but its nbd if system is used. We don't really care what term is used for members, except for part, which we dislike, and for our soulbonds, don't call them fictives. The body's features are irrelevant.

🞜 The nature of our plurality is very spiritual. I understand that such things can be difficult to believe, and you are not inclined to believe us, but you sure as hell don't have to be a dick about it, and trying to deny/argue about it to my face is only going to succeed in getting you blocked. This is not to say that we aren't open and respectful to anyone else's spiritual or religious beliefs (or lack thereof), of course; we don't need to believe in the same things to get along.

🞛 Going to try our best to remain discourse & syscourse-free on here, but just so its clear: we are pro *all* system types, origins, experiences, all of it, and that's the end of the conversation. If you say you experience it, then I believe you. Also accepting towards those with other non-normative labels, interests, & experiences. Lastly, I am anti-harassment to the highest degree.

⯁ We don't have a DNI. If I don't like you, I'll just block you, and I hope you'll give me the same courtesy.

Now that all that's out of the way, onto the system stuff. Currently, we have 44 active members and a couple other non-permanent members (some people come and go fairly quickly, others stick around for a small while before leaving). More info about everyone is under the cut!

⬦ Basic System/Belief Guide⬦

Generally, we believe that most everyone here is a walk-in or soulbond, AKA, someone who came here from a different place/time. Some people are probably more psychological in origin, but in the end, there's no real reason to separate anyone out. At the very least, everyone has a soul.

Still, some believe in slightly different things under this. There are more Christian-aligned members, more witchy-aligned members, more "whatever"-aligned members.

And yes, we are also traumagenic, or at least trauma-based. Our beliefs do not take away from the trauma, and vice versa.

⬦ Members ⬦

This lists only our frequent fronters now, or particularly relevant people. To see a list of everyone, click here!

*Note that none of these names are anyone's real name, for privacy's sake. Maybe in the future, some may give theirs away, but that day is not today.*

⤞ Red || He/Him || 🔻💽 || Current host. Not necessarily super interested in this blog though, so its typically someone else commenting & the like.

⤞ Canis || He/They || 💙🐶 || Is often aware; the one who "found out." Dog-hearted.

⤞ Apollo|| He/Wolv || 🐺🌕 || Protector-type with mad lethargy, but will bite back.

⤞ Lico || He/Him || 🍒🎶 || City boy at heart, passionate about creating and singing.

⤞ Hikaru || She/Her || 💖🌠 || Soulbond. Just wants a simple life. Likes to read/watch her source.

⤞ Clover || She/Her || ♣🍁 || Aloof girl who is similar to Fern from Frieren. Don't piss her off cuz she's not afraid to dish it back out.

⤞ Kuro || He/Him || ♟🪡 || Holds a lot of the base desires, if you get what I mean, all of which are violent in nature, so this is your warning.

⤞ Shiro || He/They || 🌫🧵 || Holds a lot of the base instincts and such. Soft, but trying his best.

⤞ Twig || She/It || 🐦🪺 || Girl who loves the outdoors. Especially likes to climb trees.

⤞ Clementine || She/Her || 🍊🏵️ || Bright smile, dark eyes. A homely girl with too much empathy.

⤞ Boots || He/Him || 🧶🍀 || Kind & cheerful. Sees the positive side. Cat-hearted.

⬦ Tags ⬦

Any trigger warnings will be tagged as '[subject] tw'. I apologize in advance if I forget to tag something; our sense of what is triggering to most people is completely fucked lol.

Members will tag their posts with their name + their above emoji combo. If we're blurry, then there might not be a tag or I'll just tag it as 'blurry 💭❓'.

#plural art: Our artwork that we post here, can include any medium

#plural comic: Comics about ourselves

#txt: Textposts from us

#reblog: Reblogs from others

#op art: Art from others

I'll probably edit this section as we post more.

🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘🞘

Alright, who's actually still reading this? Sorry for the mega long post, but I want to keep everything important pinned at once.

Cheers!

⬗[LUNAR SOLSTICE] Playlist⬖

01. [Alaska - Sky Sailing] 0:00 ────── 2:36 ▶ 02. [Hi Too Loo Rye - Hop Along, Queen Ansleis] 0:00 ────── 2:49 ▶ 03. [Solstice - OneShot OST] 0:00 ────── 2:48 ▶

[minaramen]

Idol Star 2023 - Prince Stage: Minami Natsume

[Disclaimer: I’m NOT a professional translator. I’m using my knowledge from 4 years of university. Please, feel free to let me know if you notice  mistranslation/typo/error of any kind]

***

Torao: Minami, are they already gone?

Minami: Hello, Midou san. Who are you talking about?

Torao: C’mon, you know who I’m talking about 

Torao: The little guys

Minami: Little guys?

Minami: Ah, you’re referring to the kittens they kept at the agency. The four of them all found a caretaker

Torao: I see

Minami: Do you feel sad, Midou san?

Torao: Not at all!

Torao: You were the one who found them abandoned under the rain, after all

Torao: It’s good that all of them were adopted! 

Minami: The staff looked for a place for them, so it’s thanks to them that they were brought to some kind owners who will take good care of them 

Torao: I see…

Minami:  🐱

Minami: You must be really sad, Midou san

Torao: I already told you I’m not!

Torao: I thought that you may have felt sad. Recently you've done nothing but go to the agency to take care of them

Minami: Thank you so much for worrying about me

Torao: Nah, Haruka was the one worried…

Minami: Oh, my… and you were not, Midou san?

Torao: That’s not what I said…

Torao: He said that you were very fond of those kittens. Also, he talked about how nice it would have been to keep them at the agency

Minami: Yes, I had that thought once as well

Minami: However, we’re part of the entertainment world and the staff of the agency has lots of things to do. The kittens would have ended up feeling lonely

 Minami: It’s good they were adopted before we got too attached to them

Torao: Yeah. I’m afraid we would have been too busy to take care of them

Torao: Also, if they got sick we may have missed the signs

Torao: They’re in a new home now, ready to start a new life

Minami: Yes. Just like us

Minami: By the way, Inumaru san is allergic to cats. Do you think he had a hard time?

Minami:

Torao: Yeah. He needed to wear sunglasses and a mask every time he passed by the agency, so I guess it wasn’t easy for him

Minami: I’ll probably never forget Isumi san looking at him and saying “You must feel like quite a celebrity, showing up like this at your own agency! So cocky!”

Torao: He’s a celebrity for real, though

Torao:

Minami: I have some pictures of Torao and the others, so I can show them to you when you miss them

Torao: Torao…?

Minami: Yes. The bigger, tabby kitten 🐱

Minami: He had a pouty look and seemed quite full of himself, but he was actually a good boy who always came to me when I called his name  

Torao: W-wait

Torao: There are many things I’d like to investigate, but first of all tell me the other kittens’ names

Minami: The lively, energetic kitten was Touma. And the spoiled, clingy one was Haruka

Minami: Lastly, the kitten who always groomed the other three and acted as if he was their foster parent was Shiro

Torao: Shiro, the foster parent…?

Torao:..wait, that’s not what's important. Why did you name them after us??

Minami: I chose those names just so we wouldn’t get too attached to them

Torao: It’s more likely the opposite! It only makes the thing even more difficult, if you ask me!

Minami: However, since I noticed that the number of toys increased every time I went to take care of the kittens, I guess it was already too late

Minami: Torao loved the mouse toy you brought 

Torao: D-did you know it was me…?

Minami: I saw you playing with the kittens and I decided not to bother you, so I silently closed the door 

Torao: You did what?!

Minami: You seemed like you were having so much fun, after all. 

Minami: I have a video of Torao, Haruka, Touma and Shiro playing with that toy. You were not there the day I recorded it, but I’ll show you tomorrow at the Idol Star recordings

Torao: Mh, I’d like to watch it

Torao: However, the names you chose make the whole thing pretty awkward. I can’t get the image of us playing around with a toy out of my mind…

Minami: Since I call you by your surnames, it doesn’t affect me that much

Torao: Yeah, I thought as much

Torao: Speaking of which, will you call us by our surnames forever?

Minami: Would you like me to call you by your names?

Torao: Nah, I don’t really mind. You can call us whatever you like

Torao: It would definitely pump everybody up if you called us by name

Minami: Oh, I’d like to see that

Minami: I will give it a try next time, maybe

Torao: Yeah. I can’t wait

The end

[autisticlancemcclain]

part one

———

“You did what.”

Keith coughs. “We, uh, we got married.”

“Accidentally,” Lance pipes up, because he can see the Stress Muscle in Shiro’s eyebrow start to twitch, and doesn’t want him to start freaking out which will make Keith get defensive and put his foot in his mouth — he’s as bad as Lance, really — and then the whole thing will be more difficult to handle than it already is. “It’s a whole big thing.”

Shiro stares at them for several minutes, then sighs, sitting heavily onto the kitchen floor with his bowl of goo. He shovels a bite in his mouth, then reaches blindly for the intercom switch on the wall, slapping around until he finally manages to hit it.“Team,” he says tiredly as it crackles to life, “please make your way to the kitchen. Keith and Lance made something stupid again.” He drops his hand back down, returning his full attention to his goo, committing to pretending Keith and Lance aren’t in the room.

Which.

Fair.

“I resent that ‘again’,” Keith mutters petulantly. “We’ve been remarkably well-behaved lately.”

“No,” Shiro says, without a second of hesitation. He doesn’t bother arguing.

It doesn’t take the rest of the team long to get here — Hunk and Allura have appeared to have sprinted, drama loving bastards — and they join Shiro on the floor, turning expectant eyes to the Red and Black Paladins. After a look of deliberation, Keith and Lance sit down, too.

“Tell them what you just told me,” Shiro says, voice garbled through his food goo.

Here’s the thing.

Lance knows he should feel nervous. Or worried, or scared, or embarrassed, even, about getting literally magically bound to his self-proclaimed rival (once a rival always a rival) because he got brained by the jacket that he left unattended. It is, objectively, a sitcom-level ridiculous situation. He knows that he is going to be shamed, and possibly gently bullied.

However.

Keith’s hand still grips him tightly. Lance doubts the Black Paladin has noticed, but every so often he runs his thumb over his knuckles, and every time he does his lips twitch up in the slightest smile. Lance couldn’t feel anything but ludicrously happy if he tried.

Plus. He and Keith just, like, made out in the hallway a bunch. If Lance is being honest, his brain is still kind of fuzzy. He’s half focused on everyone else and half focused on replaying the feeling of Keith’s hands pressed to his cheeks, cupping his face, kissing him like he was drowning and Lance’s lungs were the only place he could get oxygen. He’s still kind of lightheaded, and keeps having to fight off giggles.

“We got married,” Lance says, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face.

As much as the team is used to their shit, that visibly shocks them. Coran squints at them and types something rapidly into his tablet. Pidge cusses and hands Allura a handful of GAC, which she pockets with a cackle. Hunk is the only outlier, the only one with a reaction Lance can’t place: he straightens up, looking between them with narrowed eyes, mouth flattened into a line.

“Explain yourselves.”

“It was an accident,” Keith assures, much like Lance did earlier. But instead of expressing is understanding, Hunk’s eyebrows only climb higher. Lance gets the same distinct feeling he gets when he knows he pressed the Wrong dialogue option in a video game.

“I hope you didn’t marry my best friend on accident, Kogane.”

Lance puts his head in his hands. He can physically feel the panic leeching from his husband’s (!!) body. He considers all the ways he can murder his best friend and make it look like an accident. He honestly doesn’t think he’s ever been this mortified in his life.

“No no no, I didn’t mean accident, well I guess I did —”

“Hunk,” Lance says through grit teeth. Hunk gives him a ‘what did I do’ look, stubborn set to his shoulders. Lance vows to take a seam ripper to his shirts.

“— like it was technically not a planned sequence of events, per se, if you want to look at things technically —”

Hunk continues to stare at Keith with his eyebrow raised and his arms crossed. Lance digs around in his pockets for something to chuck at his face.

“— if it went according to how I’d planned it in my head there would be more flowers involved, probably, and we’d be on Earth at least, but it kind of just happened, you know? It was so fast I swear I couldn’t have done anything —”

Lance tears his gaze away from Hunk and stares at his rambling mess of a husband. Any annoyance practically evaporates from his system as the implications of Keith’s words set in.

“You thought about marrying me?”

Keith flushes redder than he already is. “I’m not answering that.”

Lance barely manages to shove down the giddy laughter that bubbles up his throat. Keith, his crush, his rival, his husband, spent time daydreaming about marrying Lance. And kissing him, probably, and holding him and building a future with him. Keith maybe even got just as flustered as Lance did when they got too close, back off when sparing got a little too close, breathing heavy. The knowledge is exhilarating. Lance leans over, pressing his beaming smile to Keith’s lips. He softens immediately.

“I thought about marrying you, too.” He smirks. “Among other things.”

Keith’s gloved hand finds it’s way back up to his cheek, for the second time today, and the blood rushing in his ears downs out the sound of Pidge gagging.

“Gross. Can we force them to divorce? This is worse than the pining.”

“Physically impossible for me to divorce him,” Lance murmurs, distracted. “Since he technically owns me, now. Kind of.”

Keith makes a face. “I hate that a little.” He presses one last chaste kiss to Lance’s mouth before pulling away. It’s casual, and small, but the novelty of it is not lost on Lance.

He was not kissing Keith this morning, that was for certain.

It’s not until Lance manages to blink away his ga-ga eyes that he realizes that the rest of the team is looking at him in shocked confusion, and it clicks that his sentence would, sans context, be kind of horrifying to hear.

“Oh,” he blurts, without thinking, “I’m a Selkie.”

“You’re bad at this whole revelation thing,” Keith notices. “I think my Galra thing was somehow handled better.”

“Shut up.”

To his credit, Keith’s observation isn’t too far off. If anything everyone’s shock has only worsened, and it’s clear that Lance’s messy, half-explanations aren’t going to do much. The Alteans could probably do with some actual historical context, but for now, Lance thinks a demonstration is the wisest choice. And since he doesn’t have an ocean available to him, he decides to do the next best thing.

He slips his jacket carefully over his shoulders, spreading it out over his legs and gently running his fingertips over the rough canvas. Just as in his room, the fabric begins to blur, warp, change. He understands the change that is happening — it is his coat, after all; his own flesh — but he cannot find the words to describe it. There may not be. The coat simply changes in a way that is not comprehensible by non-Selkie eyes, as evidenced in the various strangled noises of bewilderment around him. Even Keith looks at the pelt in awe, unused to Earthen magic.

“How long have you been a seal person?” Pidge asks, hands twitching like she’s itching to touch.

“Two decades,” Lance says drily.

It doesn’t take long for the shock to melt away. That’s due in part to everyone’s curiosity, and the rest is because, as Lance suspected, their lives are just so goddamn weird — this Selkie thing just doesn’t even make top ten.

“So was that what the whole dramatic running out of the common room was about earlier?” Hunk clarifies.

Lance nods. “Yeah. I didn’t…I got too comfortable. Left my pelt out, Keith tossed it at me, boom, it’s not longer mine. Luckily I was wrong about how dangerous that is, ‘cause I didn’t lose my free will or anything, but I am essentially married to Keith now. So.” He turns to his husband and grins. “I don’t think he minds.”

Ignoring Pidge’s mutter of “here we go again,” Keith smiles back, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek.

“I don’t.”

“I’m sorry you weren’t comfortable before.”

Lance looks up at Shiro, startled by the seriousness in his voice. His tired look from earlier is gone, replaced with something narrow-eyed, serious.

“Huh?”

“You said you got too comfortable.” He gestures to Lance’s lap. “With your pelt. I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell us.”

“And I’m sorry for threatening you, Keith,” Hunk adds. “Well, it was barely a threat, but still.”

Keith reaches over to pat his shoulder. “All good, man. It was understandable. Lance probably warrants some threatening on his behalf.”

Lance narrows his eyes. He’s sure that’s an insult, somehow.

“Hunk, do not scare my husband away with your foolishness —”

“I know you’re just saying that to have an excuse to say ‘my husband’, you whipped simp —”

“Fuck off, no one asked you —”

“Pardon my interruption,” Coran says, holding up a hand. “But what is a Selkie?”

Allura raises her hand as well. “I would also like to know!”

“If I’ll be honest, I’m not that familiar with the legend either,” Pidge admits.

Lance pauses for a moment, considering. He knows that explaining everything would take a long time, and he knows he doesn’t have the energy for that. It’s something you learn over time, anyway, over years of stories at the right time. He can simplify some information, though. Get the point across.

“I’m not human,” he starts carefully. “I’m also not alien, not not-human. It’s complicated.” He runs his hand over the soft fur of his coat. “My pelt is like…a physical manifestation of my soul, I think. My quintessence? I’m not entirely sure. But when I wear it, I become another form of mine. Kind of like your shapeshifting, maybe? I turn into a seal, but I’m still very much me. And it’s not like I’m a seal with a human brain, or whatever. I’m a seal, I’m a human, I’m a Selkie. I’m never not those three things.”

Pidge cocks her head. “So you’re a seal right now?”

“Yeah. I’m a Selkie, I have to be. Unless my pelt were to be truly lost, I guess. If someone set it on fire I wouldn’t be a Selkie anymore. I’d lose my soul.”

“Jesus,” Pidge shudders.

Keith looks determinedly at him. “I won’t let that happen.”

“No shit,” Lance says, raising an amused eyebrow. “That’s your job now, Mullet. The pelt is yours to guard. You took it, it’s your responsibility.”

Keith’s determined expression does not change. Lance is just a little endeared but it. As unconventional as this has been, Keith genuinely seems to be excited to be with him. And if Lance trusts his word — which he does — then Keith has wanted to be with Lance for a while. With his space family’s approval, and the certainty that he will have the same from his Earth family when he makes it home, the weight he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying finally drops from his shoulders.

“God, I can’t wait to human marry you.”

Shiro sighs. This time, it sounds significantly more amused. He gets to his feet, dusting off his hands. “I guess that falls to me, huh,” he says, waving them over. “C’mere.”

Keith and Lance scramble up, running over to where Shiro stands, at the head of the table. He holds two twist-ties in his head that he has formed into rudimentary rings.

“I feel contractually obligated to remind you about Adam’s stance in elopement,” he says, looking pointedly at Keith. “And Lance, I don’t know your mother personally, but your sister and I were colleagues. You are also going to get into leagues or trouble when we get home.”

Lance grins brightly. “I am going to get in leagues of trouble anyway!”

Keith nods. “I left Earth against Adam’s specific instructions. I’m toast no matter what, so I might as well do the best thing I will ever do in my life before then.”

Lance’s ears burn. He glances down at his sneakers, embarrassed and pleased all at once.

He’s the best thing that Keith will ever do in his life. God.

“Well, that answers my first question, then.” Shiro turns to Lance. “Since Keith obviously does, do you, Lance, wish to take Keith as your lawfully wedded husband, so long as you shall live?”

Lance grins. “I would love nothing more.”

“Then by the power vested in me by the five dollar certificate I got online, I pronounce you wed. Congratulations. You may kiss the groom.”

Neither of them wait for Shiro to finish his sentence, surging forward immediately, colliding in the middle like magnets. Lance feels the weight of his pelt on his shoulders and Keith’s hands on his face in equal measures. It feels like swimming free.

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Gates to Heck Chapter 6

Shigeo didn't bother to explain the blackmail. Joseph was a smart man. He worked for the government. He seemed to understand that Shigeo was ready to blow that secret government agency wide open, if it meant saving his best friend from a life of vigilante justice.

He could do it. If Mezato helped, but he was pretty sure she would.

"Calm down," said Joseph, when he finally answered Shou's phone. "I was already looking for Shiro-san."

"Then why didn't you say that?" asked Shou. He had put his cellphone on speaker so he could make the introductions, which he did with what Shigeo felt was an unnecessary level of formality.

"You're not supposed to make promises to civilians, Shou."

"That's cops, not government assassins, Joe."

Joseph met them at Shou's apartment, where he informed them that one of the in-custody members of Final Dog had identified their missing esper as Shiro-san. Joseph assured them that he had done so willingly.

The informant had described Shiro-san's aura as "kind of ozone-y, but with, like, a hint of mint." Shigeo concentrated hard and extended his psychic scan further than last time. Eventually he found it just beyond city limits.

He still couldn't feel Teru's aura, but it might have simply been too weak.

Shiro-san was northbound, moving faster than the speed limit, which meant he was using his powers to fly. Shigeo couldn't fly that fast without swallowing a lot of bugs.

Shiro-san stopped in a rural area called Furikake Village. Shigeo used side-along teleportation to bring everyone there, and then promptly threw up in a rice paddy.

In addition to Reigen, Ritsu, and Shou, he had used side-along teleportation to bring Joseph from the government. Shigeo needed someone to take Shiro-san into custody while they took care of Teru.

Shigeo had never carried that many people at once. He thought that might also account for his aim, which had not been as accurate as he would have hoped. They were lucky for the rice paddies. Their feet got wet, but Shigeo didn't want to think about what would have happened if he had teleported them into a cow.

It was much easier to sense Shiro-san's aura now. He could sense Teru's aura too, although it was still concerningly faint.

Reigen patted Shigeo on the back, and Shou offered him a handkerchief with only a little Cheeto dust on it. Ritsu backed away a little, clutching reflexively at his hoodie.

Shigeo wiped his mouth and flew in the direction of the two auras. He identified the corresponding figures before he could make out any of their details, and it took him a moment to realize why one of them looked wrong. It was upside down.

Teru was suspended in midair with his face underwater. Shiro-san was holding up his hands, which were glowing ice blue. A matching aura restrained Teru's arms, preventing him from saving himself.

There was a moment where Shigeo wasn't sure who he was. He didn't seem to be himself anymore. His feelings were muted, but in a different way than usual.

His head was full of TV static.

Shigeo fought against it as hard as he could. He couldn't hear anything over the buzz of the static, but he felt his mouth move over familiar words. A familiar name.

The next thing Shigeo knew, he was on the ground, and Teru was in his arms for the second time that day. It was difficult to believe that basketball practice had only been a few hours ago.

Shiro-san was wrapped in an aura of much richer blue than his own. In addition to pinning his arms and legs, Shigeo had apparently gagged him. His muffled protests were still audible.

Shigeo ignored them. He could feel the static start to come back when he looked at Shiro-san for too long.

Teru was coughing up an alarming amount of water, but he didn't seem to require any additional lifesaving measures, which was good, because Shigeo didn't know any. He vowed to learn some. Teru got hurt a lot.

They were both on the ground, but they were up on a bund, so at least it was dry ground. Shigeo unzipped his hoodie and wrapped it around Teru's shoulders, which were shaking too hard for it to be from the cold alone, but Shigeo didn't know how to help with anything else.

The others caught up to him while Teru was still coughing. Ritsu dropped Reigen in the rice paddy before he got a good look at them.

Reigen was asking increasingly high-pitched questions, but Shigeo had gotten pretty good at tuning him out over the years. Something in his mind had just clicked into place.

"Is that the man who showed you how to do that?" he asked. Maybe it wouldn't have made sense to anyone else, but Teru nodded.

"Do what?" asked Reigen. "What did he do? Why are you wet? Was he waterboarding you?"

"Not technically," said Teru. His voice was raw, like he'd been screaming for hours.

Reigen approached Shiro-san and rifled through his jacket with expert fingers. He pulled out a wallet, removed the driver's license, and returned the wallet to Shiro-san's pocket.

He read the license, "Ochinko Manabu. Yeah, I can see why you would want to change that. Well, Ochinko-san, we're going to be handing you over to the government assassin in a moment, but just in case you're considering another jailbreak, I want you to know that you have a Reigen Arataka Special Restraining Order against you now." He pointed a dramatic finger at Teru. "If you come within a thousand kilometers of this boy or attempt to contact him in any way, I will find you. That's only if you're lucky. If you're unlucky, Joseph from the government will find you." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder at Shigeo. "And if you're really unlucky, Mob will find you."

Reigen was just joking, but it gave Shigeo an idea. It was the only thing he could think of that would silence those muffled shouts without giving him a crisis of conscience, and the more of them he heard, the closer the static came. Shigeo wasn't sure what he would do if it took over completely, but he could guess.

Shigeo shifted his body slightly to block Teru's view. Then he turned Shiro-san upside down and held him over the water. The muffled protests became significantly more frantic.

"Nice," said Shou.

"Didn't know you had it in you, Bowl Cut," said Joseph.

"Mob-"

"Shut up, Shishou," said Shigeo.

He lowered Shiro-san until the water was up to his eyebrows.

Shiro-san passed out.

He didn't realize Teru had been peeking over his shoulder until his head dropped onto it, where he hid an only-slightly hysterical giggle in the fabric of Shigeo's gym T-shirt.

Shigeo removed Shiro-san from the water and handed him off to Joseph.

"Aw," said Joseph. He let out a dramatic sigh full of cigarette smoke, then hardened the smoke into cuffs around Shiro-san's wrists and ankles. "Goodbye, Bowl Cut. See you around Kaijin. Shou."

"Bye, Joe!"

Shigeo felt Teru's shoulders tense under his hands.

"You aren't going to try to recruit Hanazawa-kun now, are you?" asked Shigeo.

"Are you kidding?" Joseph took to the air, dragging a weightless Shiro-san by his ankles. "He's clearly under some heavy protection."

He took off and into the night.

"Damn, Mob." Reigen had always made an effort not to swear excessively around Shigeo, but he seemed to have decided these were exceptional circumstances. "I mean, of course I knew you weren't going to kill him, but I really thought you were about to violate the Geneva Conventions for a second there."

"It's not a violation of the Geneva Convention unless it occurs during wartime," said Ritsu.

"I knew that," said Reigen. "I was testing you."

"I was only applying inversion therapy," said Mob. "I thought it would help Ochinko-san calm down. Inversion therapy is very useful for easing stress and reducing the harmful effects of gravity. Onigawara-san told me about it during club last week."

There was another one of those rasping giggles against his shoulder, and Shigeo felt the static finally start to recede.

"Well," said Reigen, apparently without knowing what he was going to say next, because he floundered for a moment before finishing, "he's certainly calmer  now."

[alluraaaa]

how team voltron would be taking care of a baby

(source: i’m nannying a 6 month old rn)

shiro: for all the jokes of “space dad” and how good he is at leading a team of teenagers this man surprisingly cannot care for a baby. at least not on his own. he would eventually lose patience of the baby needing something but him not knowing what it is they need. he’s not a mind reader!!! stop crying and learn to talk!!!!! but at least they don’t talk back…

keith: he grew up in the foster system and read parenting books to properly critique his various caretakers. may have also been staying with a family with a baby a few times. he knows what to do but he gets nervous actually doing it because he knows how easy it is to mess up. babies are so fragile! did you know sometimes babies just. die in their sleep?? it’s called sudden infant death syndrome and there’s no warning signs beforehand. isn’t that terrifying (“keith stop talking about death while holding an infant”)

pidge: absolutely horrendous babysitter material. shiro lost his patience but at least he had any to begin with. pidge sees a baby as a drooling poopy noise maker and opts out immediately. what do you mean she shouldn’t distract it with a tablet? who cares about its development 🙄 the best she can do is make a bottle or grab a diaper while the actual sitter’s hands are full with the baby. (once the baby reaches like. age 6 and up tho she’s a good sitter they cause chaos together)

lance: tio lance to the rescue 😎 absolute king of a babysitter he’s been doing this all his life. has all the patience ever because he’s a baby whisperer and finds them too cute to get upset with them. matches their baby outfits to his own. the one that everyone else calls for when they run into trouble when babysitting solo. peekaboo KING

hunk: it takes him a bit of freaking out and figuring it out but eventually he gets pretty good at it!! it must be from being lance’s best friend. and also being generally perfect. he tries way too hard to not make messes tho. you just gotta embrace that babies are professional mess makers and that you have to clean up after them. but it’s okay because they’re adorable and they babble at you ❤️ he’s the best hunkle one could ask for (until it’s time to go down for a nap and they just won’t. then he starts to lose patience)

allura: loves holding and cuddling and playing with babies ❤️ absolutely determined to be the best auntie ever ^_^ gonna get them so many toys and cute clothes and get so many pictures and videos of them. …but wait. the baby’s… crying? …they need a diaper change? okay back to your parents you go little one!!

coran: he raised allura alongside her parents and who knows what else he’s done in his life he’s got a wild backstory. that said he’s like magic at babysitting. the most difficult of children are no match for him. they babble at him and he talks back as if it’s a full conversation. says “fascinating…” at half of the random shit they do. he’s learning from them as much as they’re learning from him. he’s walking cocomelon to them

[mosscreeper-ao3]

Someone gave me an excuse to yap about James' and substance abuse so here we go

(TWs for alcohol and drug addictions as well as mentions of child abuse)

The short version this post, which I've quoted below.

James addiction issues beginning, not in opposition to his need for control, but as an extension of it. He can't quiet his mind on his own. The alcohol, the cigarettes, the drugs all help him do that. Until they don't and eventually it spirals into an even larger loss of control.

For some backstory, James isn't a person who's used to being loved unconditionally. His parents are assholes and his older brothers mirrored their abusive behavior for most of his childhood. His whole life, James is used to only ever receiving affection when he's absolutely perfect. Then, along comes Keith, who loves him without a single care of the perfect image James has. He wants to know James. He wants to know who James really is and falls in love with him. James finally experiences unconditional love before it's snatched away from him months later. Keith gets expelled and just vanishes into thin air. James goes from falling asleep in Keith's arms and having someone that's genuinely proud of him, to losing that all literally overnight.

For a while, he's convinced Keith is coming back. Then, he sees Keith busting into the Garrison after Shiro and leaving again without so much as a word to James. By the way, I have this happen on his 18th birthday.

For the sake of plot convenience we'll say the legal drinking age in the US is back to 18 because I cannot see James sneaking alcohol underage at this point. He goes out drinking to try and numb the pain, and hooks up with someone he just met.

This is where the spiral starts. He goes to parties and hooks up with more people to try and get over the break up. Eventually, one thing leads to another and he starts doing ecstasy and coke.

Now, if you've ever met people who use party drugs/uppers/whatever-you-want-to-call-them, you know most people who do them are pretty damn convinced it's not actually a problem. Cocaine in particular can be difficult to admit you have a problem with because most people are productive while they're on a coke high. There's a reason it has the reputation it does.

So James falls into it more and more because it not only numbs the pain, it gives him a bit of an edge at the Garrison and the withdraws from not using it make his performance drop. He gets clean, but once an addict those urges don't ever really go away. The desire for that chemical escape is something he struggles with for the rest of his life.

He's able to stave off the worst the of withdraws and avoid relapsing by taking up smoking, which serves the duel purpose of being a slow form of suicide.

But yeah, James starts the substance abuse thing to try and stay on top of his game and it backfires miserably.