#and tiny chingching

[heretherebedork]

Divorced parents of small child who does her best to love them both but also has to deal with them sniping at each other constantly. Chingching is smarter than either of her two dads and knows they should be besties and boyfriends and married forever.

[hunterintheice]

"I remember everything about you" - sure, kill me with just one line HSF, why don't you.

Like what do you mean. What do you meaaaan "I know every little detail about your likes and preferences because making you happy and taking care of you is my priority. 3 years later I stil remember it because all this time these tiny things about you were the only part of you I could have, so I cling to them and will never forget."

And he said it in front of god, chingching, his dad and everyone, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

[naniskys]

i'm intrigued by the logistics of their school bags

How are these high school students fitting everything they need into those tiny satchels? On the other hand, what is chingching who's like 8 putting in such a huge bag 😭

[thegreatdandilion]

Saint had a different reason for leaving Shin - Chapter 2/4

On the month Saint broke Shin's leg, he got to know that he had stage 1 stomach cancer. He knew Shin would drop everything and stay beside him till he got better. But he didn't want Shin to jeopardize his education, his future for him. So Saint's thought to make Shin hate him by creating that crazy rule to leave the gang but it escalated to the point of no return. Saint’s recovery had been slow but steady, but his body often reminded him that he wasn’t the same as before. Despite the lingering pain, he decided it was time for another attempt to mend things with Shin. He found out that Shin often picked up his little sister, ChingChing, from nursery school in the afternoons. So, one bright day, he waited near the gates, his heart pounding with a mix of anxiety and determination.

The sight of Shin walking hand-in-hand with the bubbly ChingChing brought a faint smile to Saint’s lips. Before he could approach, ChingChing saw him and her eyes lit up, and then she darted toward him with a gleeful shout. “P' Saint!” she cried, wrapping her tiny arms around him.

“Hey, ChingChing,” Saint said, crouching to her level and ruffling her hair. “You’ve grown so much! How’ve you been?”

“Good! I missed you,” she replied earnestly, her eyes sparkling.

Shin’s expression darkened as he approached, his arms crossed. “What are you doing here?” he asked flatly.

Saint straightened up but kept his tone light. “I was hoping we could hang out. ChingChing too. What do you say? I'll buy you a snack today.”

ChingChing immediately piped up, “Yes! Let’s go eat snacks!”

Shin sighed. “She’s already eaten.”

“But I want sushi! I'll eat until I burst” she said, her face lighting up with excitement.

Shin raised an eyebrow. “Sushi isn’t a snack. It’s a whole meal.”

Saint chuckled softly. “Sushi it is then. My treat.”

Shin’s frown deepened, but ChingChing’s cheers drowned out any protest he might have had. Soon, they found themselves seated in a cozy sushi restaurant. ChingChing eagerly scanned the menu, while Saint quietly ordered something simple and bland for himself, trying to keep his discomfort hidden.

Shin watched Saint with a keen eye. He’d noticed during lunch breaks at school that Saint’s appetite had diminished drastically. Gone were the days when he would pile his plate high with food, laughing and chatting between bites. Now, his meals were sparse, plain, and eaten in silence. Shin couldn’t help but wonder if Saint had developed an eating disorder.

The food arrived, and ChingChing squealed with delight as the plates were placed in front of them. “Saint, you have to try this one!” she said, pointing at a roll topped with glistening slices of salmon.

“Oh, I don’t know…” Saint began, but ChingChing was relentless. She picked up a piece with her chopsticks and held it out to him. “Just one bite, please?”

Saint couldn’t refuse her. He took the sushi and chewed slowly, but every bite felt like a small storm brewing in his stomach. A dull ache spread through his abdomen, growing sharper with each swallow. He managed a small smile and joined in the lighthearted conversation, laughing at ChingChing’s jokes and even exchanging a few words with Shin. But as the meal progressed, Shin began to notice the subtle winces that flickered across Saint’s face. His suspicions deepened.

After a while, Saint excused himself. “I’ll be right back,” he said, his voice strained and his posture slightly hunched. He headed toward the restroom, his steps faltering slightly as though each one took effort. Shin noticed how he covered his mouth before entering the rest room.

Shin hesitated for a moment before following quietly. Standing just outside the restroom, he could hear the unmistakable sounds of retching. Saint’s breathing was labored, punctuated by painful, dry heaves that echoed in the small space. The sounds made Shin’s stomach twist. He wanted to burst in and help, but he froze, unsure of what to do. Eating disorders are always a sensitive topic to confront. The helplessness in Saint’s muffled whimpers broke something inside him.

Shin’s fists clenched as he pressed his back against the wall outside. He waited for what felt like an eternity until the heaving sounds subsided, replaced by the faint noise of water running from the sink. Saint eventually emerged, pale as a sheet but with a goofy smile plastered on his face as if nothing had happened. “Sorry about that,” he said cheerfully, though the strain in his voice was impossible to miss.

Shin glanced at him but said nothing, deciding to keep his observations to himself for now. Instead, he leaned toward ChingChing and whispered, “Don’t force Saint to eat anything he doesn’t want to, okay?”

ChingChing looked confused but nodded obediently.

The meal ended soon after, and Saint escorted them back home on his bike. He dropped them off at their gate, giving ChingChing a playful salute as she waved goodbye. Shin watched him closely as he walked into the house. But as he stepped inside, something nagged at him. He hadn’t heard the bike start.

Curious, he peeked out the window. His stomach sank when he saw Saint leaning over the bike, his forehead pressed against the handlebar. One hand was clutching his left side tightly, his shoulders shaking slightly as if he were fighting to stay upright. His face was contorted in pain, and he seemed to be struggling to catch his breath.

Shin’s first instinct was to rush out, but before he could act, Saint straightened up with visible effort. He wiped his forehead, started the bike, and sped off into the distance. Shin remained at the doorway, his heart heavy with worry and his mind flooded with questions he couldn’t yet answer.

To be Continued...

[viralhottopics]

Passion is overrated 7 habits that you need instead

Image: Shutterstock / ChingChing

Its common wisdom. Near gospel really, and not just among young people and founders. Across generational lines, sentiments like those from Steve Jobs 2005 commencement at Stanford have been engraved into our collective consciousness:

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.

In other words, follow your passion. Theres just one problem: Follow your passion is dangerous advice.

Thats a troubling claim, but it comes straight from Cal Newports investigation into the details of how passionate people like Steve Jobs really got started as well as what scientists say predicts happiness and fuels great accomplishment.

Newports not alone. In recent years, a host of leaders, academics, and entrepreneurs have all come to the same startling conclusion: nearly everything youve been told about following your passion is wrong.

Here are seven habits you need instead.

1. Not passion, purpose

Ryan Holiday, author of Ego Is the Enemy:

Your passion may be the very thing holding you back from power or influence or accomplishment. Because just as often, we fail with no, because of passion. [P]urpose deemphasizes the I. Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself.

Until about a century ago, passion was a dirty word. Classical philosopher like Socrates and Marcus Aurelius saw passion as a liability not an asset: an insatiable and destructive force. Why?

Chiefly because passion is dangerously self-centered. In fact, our own modern descriptions of passion betray this inward bend: I want to [blank]. I need to [blank]. I have to [blank]. In most cases, whatever word finishes those sentences regardless of how well meaning it might be is overshadowed by the first.

Purpose, on the other hand, is about them, not me. It reorients our focus onto the people and causes were trying to reach, serve, help, and love. In The Happiness Hypothesis, psychologist Jonathan Haidt describes this pursuit as a striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.

Passion makes us bigger. Purpose connects us to something bigger and in doing so makes us right sized.

2. Not passion, picking

Shaa Wasmund, author of Stop Talking, Start Doing:

No is a far more powerful word than Yes. Every Yes said out of obligation or fear takes time away from the things and people we love. When an opportunity appears connected with your passion, its even trickier. Instead of snatching up everything that might get your closer to the life you want, give yourself the space to pick carefully.

Good is the enemy of great. Thats how Jim Collins put it anyway. Learning to say No is easily one of the most vital skills we can cultivate. And yet, even if youve mastered No to the obvious stuff, passion rears its head.

The blinding effect of passion leads us unthinkingly into projects and meetings that, in truth, are dead ends. Worse, they sap time and energy that would otherwise move us forward. When Tim Ferriss asked journalist Kara Swisher what message shed put on a billboard for millions to see, her answer was a single word, Stop.

And thats what picking is all about: slow down, pause, evaluate, weigh, and only then make a clear-headed choice. Picking involves, first, putting a time buffer on our decisions, particularly decisions that appear connected with your passion. Second, running our choices by an objective third party: a friend or colleague who can call out our blind spots.

Sleep on it. Reach out. The sun will rise tomorrow. And be ruthless with your Nos.

3. Not passion, practice

Angela Duckworth, author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance:

After youve discovered and developed interest in a particular area, you must devote yourself to the sort of focused, full-hearted, challenge-exceeding-skill practice that leads to mastery. You must zero in on your weaknesses, and you must do so over and over again, for hours a day, week after month after year.

We all love shortcuts. The allure of getting more by doing less is seductive. But are there times when doing more equals more? Absolutely.

The classic illustration comes from David Bayles and Ted Orlands Art and Fear where a ceramics teacher divided his class into two groups. The first was told theyd be graded on quality. The other, quantity. To get an A, the quantity group was required to produce fifty pounds of clay pots. Not exactly an artistically inspired assignment. And yet, when grading time came, a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity.

What accounted for this reversal of expectations?

Easy: while the quality group held back laboring under perfectionism the quantity group got busy. They practiced. And thats good news. If greatness came down to passion or worse, talent then itd be reserved for only a select few. Practice means greatness is doable one tiny step after another.

4. Not passion, planning

Liran Kotzer, CEO of Woo.io:

Passion is indeed very important, but what most people don’t know is whats needed to achieve their true potential. Whether its to acquire new skills, get a promotion, or achieve what they want, it all starts with having a plan based on real data and real-world options.

The only word less sexy than practice is planning. And yet planning is a golden thread woven through the lives of artists, leaders, and entrepreneurs alike. The trick here is that plans need not be grandiose. Rather, they shouldnt be.

Optimism is wonderful when it comes to our dreams. However, when it comes to whats next the nitty-gritty actions thatll get us there optimism kills. Infected with passion, our plans lose touch with reality. We overestimate strengths and underestimate challenges. Beyond the real data and real-world options, we build castles in the sky. Thats one of the reasons platform like Woo, which lets you get feedback from companies and headhunters anonymously, are so valuable.

Where passion disconnects us from reality, planning especially planning of the SMART goal and number-crunching variety drives home the true state of affairs.

That true state rescues us from false expectations, show stoppers, and resentment. As a good friend of mine likes to say, The question when youre trying to bring a dream into reality shouldnt be, What going to go right? It should be, Whats going to go wrong?

5. Not passion, positioning

Jason Stone, founder of Millionaire Mentor Inc.:

Passion can only take you so far. After that, if you don’t have the skills, the tools, the resources, the knowledge, and the track-record to move forward, take risks, and expand. Otherwise, you wont be able to position yourself as an authority. Positioning is key to make sure you are ready when opportunity strikes!

Humans are associative creatures. We think and act not in isolation but by comparing and contrasting.

The basic approach of positioning, wrote Al Ries and Jack Trout in Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind, is not to create something new and different, but to manipulate whats already up there in the mind, to retie the connections that already exist. This is especially true when it comes to how other people see us.

Passionate people often come off as self-inflated. Theyre legends in their own minds. Positioning means leveraging who you are and what youve done as a springboard to whats next. It embraces the associate nature of other people and while it still leaves room for confidence acknowledges that how others perceive us is more real, at least to them, than how we see ourselves.

6. Not passion, peripheral

Troy Osinoff, author of My Bad Parent: Do As I Say, Not as I Did:

People that think they completely understand their world are the most susceptible to overlook new opportunities. Peripheral is about establishing an unwavering curiosity to use your existing knowledge in uncovering new patterns and trends both for the sake of your personal development as well as the success of your business or career.

Passion makes us myopic. We become so focused on the desire inside us, we lose sight of whats around us. Objectivity the ability to see the world as it truly is atrophies in the blinding light of passion.

Adopting a peripheral perspective forces us to examine the margins. It widens our view. Rather than rush headlong into disaster, were able to spot not just the pitfalls but the opportunities we would have otherwise missed.

How? By cultivating curiosity. Questions like, What am I missing? What am I ignoring? Who could give me a fresh take? are vital in every area of life. Likewise, so is putting ourselves in new situations, reading books outside our passions, and intentionally pursuing people who have nothing to do with what it is we think we want.

7. Not passion, perseverance

Brian D. Evans, founder of Influencive and Inc. 500 Entrepreneur:

The person who calls themselves a student is more a master than those who try to wear the title. Get up when you get knocked down. Come back stronger, faster, and (above all) smarter. The constant desire to learn and overcome has helped me achieve everything. You must persevere.

Although it might sound odd, perseverance is as much about putting in effort as it is battling ego. Drunk on passion, masters are doomed to repeat failures in the name of pushing through. In contrast, students do more than hone their craft; they learn from their mistakes.

Asked if the Patriots historic comeback in Super Bowl LI was his greatest game ever, Tom Brady replied: [W]hen I think of an interception return for a touchdown, some other missed opportunities in the first 37, 38 minutes of the game, I dont really consider playing a good quarter-and-a-half, plus overtime as one of the best games ever but it was certainly one of the most thrilling.

Certainly Brandy persevered, and itd be nice if that guaranteed success. But sometimes you wont come back to win it. At least, not in the moment. Jobs will be lost. Pitches turned down. Relationships ended. And reviews harsh.

Failure, however, isnt just an inevitable stepping stone toward success. Rejection is part of success itself. As Louis CK put it to a budding comedian, The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time and, if you dont give up, you will get better.

Is passion a bad thing?

Understood rightly, no. But as the be-all-and-end-all? Yes.

Cal Newports prescription was skill: passion is the result of excellence, not its source.

Far from a magic bullet, passion can mislead us, blind us, and even turn us in on ourselves. Newport was right: Follow your passion might just be terrible advice. Thankfully, these seven habits put passion in its place so that the fire Jobs spoke of doesnt burn out but endures.

Aaron Orendorff is the founder of iconiContent and a regular contributor at Entrepreneur, Lifehacker, Fast Company, Business Insider and more. Connect with him about content marketing (and bunnies) on Facebook or Twitter.

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