#and thus i decided to post about it on my tumblr dot com. as is only natural.

[ialdabaothvt]

welcome to the tumblr blog of the dreaded lich queen ialdabaoth!

good afternoon, everyone! it’s about time i posted something like this on my blog. allow me to introduce myself, shall we?

so, without further ado… hello! i am, unsurprisingly, the lich queen vtuber known as ialdabaoth (pronounced like yal • da • bay • oth, or yal • da • both if you’re a fast talker). i have a great many names; my enemies know me as the withering queen, and twitch dot tv dot com knows me as OGDemiurge (for the time being, anyway; the name is subject to change. stay tuned for info about that). but you can just call me iald, if you want.

^^ (pictured here is me with my familiar, who also doubles as a semi-living phylactery! his name is czar’gegnal’eral’ax, because fuck you. but you can call him czar for short, if you want. he probably doesn’t mind.)

little known fact about lichdom: maintaining it can be real damn hard sometimes. it’s not easy to be a literal rotting corpse, and to walk around on the street in search of souls to fill your phylactery, without people running away screaming from your spirit halloween lookin ass.

even the queen of england couldn’t keep up the act forever! you really gotta put in the work, and that’s not a particularly easy thing when you’ve focused completely on necromantic spells, and failed to add a little bit of enchantment and/or illusion and/or transmutation to the pile in order to keep your shit covered. turns out, there is such a thing as having too many cool skeletons in your cool skeleton army. and i, unfortunately, found this out the hard way.

so, um…. 🥺👉👈 your soul?? pwease?? oh pwease pwease pwease can i have it?? and put it in my phylactery?? forever??

…yeah, if you couldn’t tell, i’ve downgraded to twitch streaming to fill that shit up. but hey, what can you do? what can you do. if you’ve gotta uwu on the internet to prevent yourself from becoming a disembodied floating skull like acererak, you’ve gotta pull yourself up by the got damn bootstraps and uwu. that’s just how the world works, kid.

so! with that being said. i’m still trying to figure out a schedule for streaming, but even still, i do not plan to allow that to put a damper on my nasty, evil schemes! and thus, i have decided that the date of my first stream will be Wednesday, March 22, 2023, at 5:30 PM CST!! yes, yes! you heard that right! mark it on your calendars, folks!

i will be playing none other than Tyranny that night, which i’ve never played before! so i hope that this will be a fun experience for all of us, and most importantly….. i hope to see you all there!

[versegm]

Yooo how about Director's Cut on The One from Carcossa? Give me the downlow on awkward shadow roommate and hand licking lol

I SWEAR I DIDN'T REALIZE I WROTE SO MUCH HAND LICKING

God. This might get kinda long, lemme add a readmore right away.

As you can guess from the title, I wrote this after going insane over The King In Yellow for a couple weeks or so. Unfortunately I have since actually read the king in yellow and they're not nearly as good as the five wikipedia pages I dived through made it sound, but it was still a very fun time to write.

It was also very much inspired by the general concept of "the monster under your bed." You guys have that too right? Like, children's urban legends or whatever?

It's also a pretty old story, I think I wrote it in 2020-ish? But I think it still hold up well.

The monster in the story is named Cahors, which is the name of a french town. I picked that name because the King In Yellow has a running theme of characters with names starting in Ca- (Cassilda, Camilla) and I wanted to keep it going. The human is named Neha, after a friend I had at the time I wrote that story (Neha, if you're reading this somehow, hi! Hope you're doing well! :D) Neha also has a blink and you'll miss it cameo in May The Moon Shine Upon Camlann, as a treat. To myself.

Carcosa's writing system is based on qipus btw.

About ten years ago or so I followed writingprompt dot tumblr dot com, and one of the prompt was thus: the apocalypse happens, you are the last survivor, and one day you find a message that reads "last one up turns off the light," with no other purpose to your life, you decide to do that. For some reason, it struck me.

I don't actually remember for sure, but I think my reasoning behind that bit was to showcase why Cahors affectionates post-apoc stories specifically. It's their way to cope with the fact that their world ended.

Ok so this story was originally meant to be erotica, and this would be the big sexy showdown, but I found it flowed better without the sex. This is actually a recurring issue with my writing when I set off to write porn. It is unfortunate.

LOOK I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. THAT WAS THE FATEST WAY I COULD THINK OF TO LINK INTIMACY, TRUST, AND REALLY HAMMER HOME THAT CAHORS DOES NOT LOOK OR FEEL HUMAN.

Very largely inspired by this piece of art that lives rent-free in my head.

I'm just really proud of this bit :)

I really wanted to do a callback to that one other scene in the middle of the story. I'm glad I pulled it off!

The story initially had another line about Cahors using their mask to extinguish the lights, but multiple people told me they thought it was confusing, so I removed it. It works better this way I think.

And there you go! Mostly it was me fucking around with worldbuilding and monster biology as you can guess.

[cartoonishvendor]

hello tumbel-er dot com user CARTOONISHVENDOR, give me more Maggotblood lore. I am insatiable

well, welcome to my tumblr, anon possibly here from my art fight account!! for anyone confused, we're talking about this girlie today:

i haven't posted about her or Long After StarClan on my tumblr once, not as far as i remember. that stuff is mainly in my head, on my art fight account and my youtube, even the starting phases of the story went to my priv twitter (rip in pieces), so im actually really stoked to talk about her now!!

last disclaimer before a read more bc i fear i may make this super long: details of her story are subject to change, since Long After StarClan doesn't exist as a tangible fanfic or comic or anything yet!

that's all, let's go!!

let's start at the beginning: Maggotblood was born to the ShadowClan warrior Blaze (orange tabby shorthair, green eyes) and the kittypet Nellie (white singlecolor shorthair, blue eyes), as the only kit of her litter.

Blaze was part of a sort of ShadowClan youth sub-culture, one a little inspired by RiverClan. this might make absolutely no sense, but it will when you take a look at the differences between Clans in the Long After StarClan universe. the TL:DR here is that LAS RiverClan is a haven of toxic, battle-obsessed behaivor, and some young warriors in ShadowClan either found that really cool, or felt so provoked they decided to start mirroring that exact behaivor (more of the latter, none of them really liked RiverClan). So, Blaze was this really abraisive, over-confident and bloodthirsty warrior whom always bragged about how good he was at everything. naturally, very little other cats in the clan liked him as a result of that. thus, he began seeking admiration from other sources. enter: Nellie

Nellie might not have seemed like it at first, but she matched Blaze's arrogance quite well. she was stuck-up and though she only ever deserved the best, which she thought she found in Blaze. So basically, think Onestar and his kittypet fling and you kinda get Blaze's and Nellie's story. but their whole flirtery grinds to a halt abruptly when it turns out Nellie is pregnant. at first, Nellie isn't really against the idea of kits, knowing but not telling Blaze she knows her twolegs will jsut take them away anyway and they can focus on her again. but Blaze is horrified (not that he'd admit to that of course). tension against outsiders was, for ambiguous reasons, at a bit of a high at that time, and if anyone found out he had kittens with a kittypet it would be a severely blow to his reputation (or the reputation he thought he had). Nellie catches on to this pretty quickly and she's kind of furious when Blaze more or less accidentally admits he only her saw her as a fling, not as the great cat she thought herself of as. when she gave birth to her single kitten, she felt not a single ounce of motherly care for it and decided instead she'd punish Blaze for lying to her. she marches straight into ShadowClan camp, drops off the kitten, and explains who the father is, which Blaze tries desparately to refute, but the resemblance of that kitten and Blaze was just too clear, she even had the same forehead markings as him! so yeah, now everyone knew Blaze did that and he was so butthurt that he never took care of his kit and instead left her in the care of an unrelated queen who didn't care much about her either.

the queen, as well as the rest of the Clan, including Blaze, never made a really big secret out of the fact that Maggotblood was not related to the queen raising her. one day, she felt so starved for motherly attention that she begged Blaze to take her to see her real mother. I did a short PMV about this scene, basically they get to Nellie's twolegnest, Nellie and Blaze fight and then Nellie says really hurtfult things about Maggotblood, practically disowning her a second time.

so they go back, Maggotblood feels absolutely horrible, and at one point, when she was still a kittten, she tried to run away from camp. she got herself hurt and wound up in the medicine den. now, that encounter in there was not the first time she's seen Giantcloud, her future mentor, for more than a few moments. time to get into a LAS specific ritual, yippie!!

so, if you may have noticed, it seems that no clan cat has a canonical clan name, apart from the medicine cats. theres a reason for that!! LAS plays around the Lake territories with the vaguely recent canonical territoy distributions. and the lake territory has the Moonpool as the primary connection hub to StarClan, right?

in Long after StarClan it's uh. it's fucking dried out!!

(scene from this video)

the Moon's Deep is still the meetup spot for medicine cats every half a moon in this universe, but it's also ground for another ritual: when a kitten is between the ages of 1 and 6 moons, on a half moon, they are brought to the Moon's Deep once, in company of the clan's medicine cats (and maybe the parents too, case by case basis). there, they are expected to spend a night sleeping in the gigantic drained pool. and whatever dream they wind up having can and will determine their future role in the clan.

you see, the reason Long After StarClan is called that is that StarClan is absent in the story for the most part. a secondary role medicine cats play here is lorekeeping which includes finding out whatever they can about StarClan and the past, but it's very much in the background of this story. and without StarClan, you can't really have cats with a strong bond to it, making this the centralized way clan cats decide who will be fit for being a doctor and who won't.

Maggotblood, as her dream determined, was also fit to be one. but at that point in time, ShadowClan already had a medicine cat apprentice. Hawthorn, this girlie:

she hated being a doctor and she wanted to be the leader instead, and she was really relieved when it turned out Maggotblood could replace her, but until she could be apprenticed, Hawthorn had to stay in the medicine den.

By ShadowClan tradition, cats are allowed to give themselves their name once they hit 6 moons and are apprenticed. Maggotblood, just a nameless kitten back then, decided to name herself Jasmine, after the flowers in Nellie's garden. until that point, she only really had one cat occasionally looking out for her, whom she considered a friend, and that was Misty. but as soon as she became the medicine cat apprentice, it felt like a whole new world had opened it's doors for her. Jasmine met the other medicine cats for the first time and they were all nice to her, respected her, and she became really good friends with Runner (later Lakerunner), the apprentice of WindClan. and Giantcloud became the cat she trusted the most, he was like a father to her.

during her apprenticeship, Blaze died in a badger attack. Jasmin did not know how to feel, or how to talk about this. surprisingly, she wound up bonding with the RiverClan medicine cat, Waspvenom, over it, since he had a complicated relationship with his biological family too.

the six moons of apprenticeship, the best six moons of her life, ended with her and Runner's final naming ceremony. much like how a dream determines your role, for medicine cats it also determiens your final name despite all rules your Clan has for naming. Runner become Lakerunner, after a dream of him running across the lake. Jasmine, however, had a terrifying dream about carcasses, those of hundreds of cats, swarming with maggots. shaken up, she tells her fellow medicine cats that her new name is Maggotblood, whether she wants it or not.

was it a dream or was it a vision? could have been both, considering what happens next in her story. but this is already so long and if you ever want the TBC it'll have to be another post, sowwy!!

[piochevide]

post-montages and assessments

I am now a solid year into setting "post-montage feeds" projects. i.e. curating creative timelines of web-posts, with the purposes of : a) collecting posts of interests b) building a cohesive whole from these base elements, c) having this cohesion make the posts resonate together

And, so , I thought I should jolt-down, here, fair assessments about these creative endeavours and practice. (under a cut because it will be -quite- long)

For starter, I have redacted a forum post about the subject of web-feeds, in general, in a fandom context, and about considering post-montage and intertext in particular : https://goldensunrise.jcink.net/index.php?showtopic=4319

So, yes, in short, this forum post/thread is from a POV of : "The golden sun fandom". as, actually, I ended up considering these curations/montage, due to GS communities diffusing into numerous social-media, and thus making engaging with the (GS) fandom, now, less about finding a home-community one likes, and more about having to sample and search around, for dispatched pieces of fan-content, with many communities being now more about "like minded people that happen to love Golden Sun" than about the formerly dual/reversed "collective that love Golden Sun with some affinity of heart".

... Again, to experience what I mean by post-montage, firsthand, you may have a browse at my main "keffect" tumblr blog.

And, indeed, I decided to try that because both : I had to register an account, in order to properly search and browse fan-content, around this social-site way of working, in this fandom ecosystem.

And, then, as I had to keep it active, I should as well... creatively push the envelope of what one can do, around here.

This, combined with me, wishing to archive and share, the core of fandom content I had gathered along the years, really could only result in this : Creatively curate a synthesis breadth of old and new content, putting the creative contribution into an aspect of the system, that is little to not tracked or "metric-ed" : the feeds and timelines.

The "vibes", the "funny juxtapositions of posts"... And all manner of similar seldom tracked actual intertext content.

---

In the end : It is fun to do such creative blogging/curating, really fun.

I even also started doing a similar thing on x-dot-com, i.e. the former twitter/"birdsite" (at "heggnox") -timeline archives of this birdsite!heggnox project should have their own dedicated blog posts at key times-

Anyway : I feel like the main caveat of doing post montages is that the algorithms and way for people to discover blogs, do not factor-in the collection and composition aspects of blogs, mostly revolving around the isolated posts, thus making original posts the main way to get found.

I am somewhat fine with doing my little post-composing game, like that, on my own, for my own fun of browsing it back, and enjoying it again and again. I mean, I am quite familiar with doing such, as I already do it, offline, for fan-vids/"amvs" I edit for myself. (Because, you know, the hustles of having to handle legal and copyrights, if one uploads any fanvid on any platform, as of today...)

Still, if you like the concept of post-montage, keep it in mind, sometime when you are about to share any handful of posts : Think a tad about how the posts fit together best, how they connect to what you have posted previously, maybe it also reminds you of something ?

In short : Sometime, take a step back, and revel in the collective of posts, as much as you usually consciously enjoy the isolated posts. After all, one actually absorbs these feeds, already, just don't focus much on them... So, why not mind them at time, and play with them as we do ?

[orcelito]

Today I transformed from someone who has never zapped their hand with a bug zapper into someone who has zapped their hand with a bug zapper Once

Everyone send me your well wishes in this trying time. For I fear I may never recover.

[bondsmagii]

Stupid idea: tag every single post of yours with #reality

I would, but I've learned the hard way how such things go. way back when, in like 2013/2014, I used to post selfies pretty often. I'm a very adrogynous looking dude, and every time I posted a selfie I would get sometimes up to dozens of asks saying "are you a boy or a girl?" now, this was back when I had a gender as opposed to not giving a fuck like I do now, and after a while it got kind of annoying answering the same question every time... so I started tagging my selfies #i'm a boy, in the naive hope that would clear things up.

nope. I still got dozens of asks every time. they just now read "is your 'i'm a boy' tag a joke or not? I can't tell". thus concludes how I learned two very important lessons: number one, there is no conceiveable way to get people to understand anything on tumblr dot com, and number two, deciding I do not give a fuck about gender makes selfie posting a lot less stressful. you get to know my pronouns, not my business.

[dykeseinfeld]

You’re attracted to men. Attraction to both sexes is bisexuality

anon asked: “im attracted to ugly men” isnt proof you’re a lesbian if anything it only proves how not gay you are. attraction to ugly as fuck men is classic bi/het nonsense

anon asked: “Im a lesbian thats attracted to men” Literally shut up bihet

okay first of all: you literally do not know me at all....why the fuck do you care

second: labels are not nearly as important or rigid or static as you think. they don’t need to represent some innate “true” sexuality. even if i did feel genuine attraction to men (i don’t but stay with me), but for whatever reason only wanted to be with women/would literally never pursue a sexual/romantic relationship with a man in real life, it would make complete sense if i chose to call myself a lesbian. however, it would also make sense if i wanted to call myself bi in that scenario. who gives a shit which one i choose because the sexuality police are not going to come knocking on my door

third: people can decide on their own label based on whatever makes sense to them, whether because it aligns with what they want from their own life (eg: our previous example of a lesbian woman who only ever wants to date women despite an attraction to men) or because it aligns with how they feel about themselves (eg: a deeply closeted gay man married to a woman is still gay), but no matter what they are certainly not going to decide how to identify based on the opinion of someone not inside their own head, let alone some random stranger on the internet who once again. does not know them literally at all.

4th: i’m sorry that you seem to expect me to write a fucking essay of justification for my sexuality every time i want to make a pithy joke on tumblr dot com and i want to underscore that i don’t owe you shit you are not my therapist but since i want to procrastinate my chem homework: no.....i am not attracted to men (even adam scott </3)....

5th: again i owe you nothing, so this last part is for any lesbians who might relate:

in those posts i am referring to what i called “attraction” before i realized i was a lesbian, (which is probably more akin to a lack of active disgust, admiration for acting ability, and vague desire to be friends with the fictional character they portray). i have been closeted my entire life until extremely recently, and thus learned to talk about (read: lie about) my attraction to male celebrities to make conversation with other girls. even though i now recognize that the attraction was fake, the instinct to lie that i am attracted to some conventionally attractive man who doesn’t make me gag is still there. the instinct to hide my attraction to women by focusing on the men and tryign to force myself to be attracted to them is still there. especially when i’m drunk, and literally forget that i don’t have to do that anymore. however none of that changes the fact that i am a massive fucking dyke <3

[ardania22]

The Chronicles of Geyron: Author’s Introduction

Greetings, one and all! If you’re reading this post, it means you’ve stumbled across the beginning of my attempt to post my entire fantasy novel to Tumblr dot com, one chapter at a time! Why? Because I wrote a goddamn fantasy novel, and I’d love to share it with you all! Starting tomorrow, I will post one chapter to this blog a day, taking you through an epic adventure that I first started imagining all the way back in fourth grade. Interested? Want to follow my regular updates? Click the Read More link to get some more context on how this project came about, and how this whole experiment is gonna work!

So, my parents showed me The Lord of the Rings when I was just around eight or nine years old, and like everyone exposed to Lord of the Rings, I fell head over heels in love with it. What’s not to love about a grand journey as the forces of light and darkness face off, realized with some of the most enduring fantasy worldbuilding in existence? I had just started developing a taste for creative writing myself, and I wanted to write a fantasy adventure of my own after being so inspired. And thus was born The Chronicles of Geyron, a seventy-five page, thirty-five chapter ripoff of J.R.R. Tolkien that pretty much just blatantly copy/pasted his entire story in a fraction of the run time. I read this thing to my fifth-grade class, I was so proud of it. Hey, everyone’s gotta start somewhere, and my start just happened to be with LOTR revisionist fanfiction. Don’t judge me.

But a funny thing happened over the years; every once in a while, I would come back to this story I wrote, and I would be gripped by the desire to revise it. I would see my writing from so many years ago and think to myself, “Wow, I thought this was Hugo-worthy? Pssh, I’ve grown so much as a writer since then, I could write this story so much better now.” And that’s exactly what I did. I came back to Geyron over and over again throughout the past decade, always finding something else to tweak, something else to revise, something else to evolve and deepen. No matter how far my writing developed, no matter how many new projects I took on, I found my attention returning to this project, seeing what my last efforts had turned it into, and pushing myself to make it even better. Over time, my little LOTR ripoff grew and changed to such an extent that it genuinely became its own thing. And at long last, just over a year ago, I realized that I had written something I was truly proud of. Geyron was no longer a ten-year-old’s vanity project; it was a twenty-year-old’s pride and joy.

And after a year of wondering what the hell I was gonna do with it now, I decided that I wanted to share it with you.

The Chronicles of Geyron is the first book in a planned four-book fantasy series. I still have a very old first draft of the second book lying around, and a general idea of where I want the series to go, but my writing has stalled on actually completing it. The reason I’m sharing it with you now is because I want to see if it’s worth re-igniting that spark. I want to see if this story that’s become so important to me can reach the hearts and minds of total strangers, to see if this story is worth seeing through to its end. Perhaps doing this will finally inspire me to get back to this series and finish it. Or perhaps it’ll be a total bust. Whatever the outcome, I hope you enjoy what I have to offer. This novel is the patchwork product of ten years of retooling and rethinking, and it’s gotten to the point where I genuinely feel I can consider it complete. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Like I said above, I’ll be posting a chapter a day to this Tumblr, Ardania22. Follow me if you want to keep up with my updates, and you can see every chapter I post in chronological order here. Feel free to reblog, comment, share your thoughts however you wish! If you’re a fan of fantasy, fiction, imagination, or reading in general, I would be honored to hear what you think of my story.

Thank you for your time, and starting tomorrow, please enjoy... The Chronicles of Geyron!

[chadlesbianjasontodd]

So you think the NHL is lying?

1) i think i’ve been pretty clear in my posts, you can go read them again anytime;

2) if i have been somehow unclear: a big-time sports equipment company does not hand out twenty-five thousand dollars as a lark. if there might be video anywhere of her not winning, that check would not have been signed. that aside. if the nhl had footage of her that showed her coming in second, that would have been posted to their twitter immediately with a caption of ‘phenomenal showing just behind first place’. considering the amount of cameras at any all-star game it’s not feasible to say there is no video even if it wasn’t being broadcast. thus, the fact that they didn’t do that means they couldn’t, because she didn’t come in second: she won. —no, i don’t think the nhl is lying. i think after they failed to respond for as long as they did, they couldn’t figure out how to handle things and someone decided to leak an unverifiable ‘time’ for decker that they couldn’t back up. you’ll notice they didn’t really mention it again and that the big-time news articles on #paydecker don’t. not bringing her event time up when they declared they would give $100k to charity instead of paying the female athletes was a statement by itself. i too would be leery of lying on international television, even if it was just canada/u.s.;

3) i can’t believe there are still straight men who think they have opinions about sports here on tumblr dot com go back to hell and blackhawks fandom where you belong

[jangyeevns]

lilith, virgo, cancer !!!!!

this is so late that it took me ages to find the godforsaken meme...... why do i always postpone shit on tumblr dot com of all places — ( closed, and yes, that is the title for this whole thing DSLKFGJKGD )

cancer — if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be ?

i feel like i should be pardoned from answering this bc 1) i lit know Nothing about zodiac signs, i just take yours, taylor’s and tumblr posts’ word for it when they say Anything about the signs and 2) um…… ch*ldren ?? at the moment and for the last two years, i don’t think i want them GKAKGKALG

but if i Had to pick one from the basic spiels i just looked up to confirm, probably virgo or even capricorn ( even if a couple of Ugly capricorns are in the family ) ??

virgo — what is your #1 pet peeve ?

being spoken over, interrupted or ignored/not paid attention to when i’m speaking. i’ve always been on the quiet and passive side around most — at least to a point — and after years of being forced to repeat myself or being prevented from continuing the rest of a conversation for whatever reason, it bothers me more than it should to do so now that i’m a little louder, a little more engaging. so i tend to get snappy without meaning to, and it’s probably my most Evident pet peeve, thus i’d call it my biggest one. 

not only that, but i’ve become a better listener than a conversationalist — sometimes i get carried away when i speak and the former gets lost in favour of me Finally having something to contribute, ngl — and seeing someone pay little attention to what i say, not really look me in the eye when i go out of my way and out of my comfort zone by doing the same for others ( bc prolonged eye contact….. no thanks gkskgks i hate it ) makes me feel shitty ! it just comes across like they don’t care and that thought comes with a Lot of emotional turmoil so i really don’t appreciate it

lilith — do you have any guilty pleasures ?

so for the first time in my life, i decided to go for the textbook definition of a guilty pleasure to be more Precise gkakgkslf

that being said, i haven’t watched a Lot of movies over the years, especially recent ones that i know are incredible, but being john malkovich is the best thing i’ve watched since i started uni ( well, aside from fight for my way and a few good tv shows gkskgks ) and is almost never talked about, so i tend to think it’s not liked by many — or just not heralded for some other reason

i hate to say it in a way bc i give her quite a bit of shit and really.. almost Hate her serious lack of stage presence, but i still like dua lipa’s tracks pre-new rules/whatever else which made her go viral. annie mac really made me love her when last dance was JUST released, but i got bored of her after hotter than hell; though i can admit that her collab with miguel was nice too — mostly bc miguel Never puts out a bad track gkslgfsjkd

[eeveelutionsforequality]

Submission:

I'm the MAP anon: I'm gonna be honest with you, so much of your MAP discourse is a) long and rather unwieldy to read and b) seemingly focused on only the intrusive thoughts as a reason not to blame MAPs for anything.  It was hard to get a read on your position, as my experience with you was you defending anti-contact MAPs, and given the person's blog I sent you say they're anti-contact, it came off as you defending them as well.

To clarify: my argument was in the scope of that anti-contact, who was still actively and wilfully sexualising minors, one of which was indeed an actual child and another who was being sexualised for when they were a child.

I @ed you not because of anything you said specifically anyway, but because you seemed to be the MAP expert on the blog. You couldn't have known that of course.

Lastly, please bear in mind that:

a) the person I sent you is someone I found through a third party blog, in addition to the fact that you yourself go on about them a lot, so all your instances of you chastising me for “seeking out” MAPs is pointless, and

b) the MAP in those screenshots states they're anti-contact, so this isn't just about the "bad" side of MAPs. It's perfectly reasonable for an outsider to see people like her and think that “anti-contact” is one stop above virtue signalling, and they're just as irredeemable. You know how people go on about how feminists need to do in-house cleaning if they want to avoid people disliking the movement?  It's the same for the MAP community as well.

That said: I do genuinely apologise for not reading your arguments through properly. As much as an excuse as this sounds, my executive dysfunction issues make it hard to read as many paragraphs as you write on this subject - I am trying, but still, I dropped the ball a bit. I'm also sorry as well that I basically forced you to reiterate points you've already made probably a fair number of times before, because I know that's annoying af.

So that said, any instance I was misrepresenting your arguments you're free to ignore and I won't respond to your refutements of them since bascially we are actually much on the same page now I know who I'm talking to. There are a bunch of other things I could address but I feel it would be a waste of both our times, so I'll focus only on a few things that really jumped out.

------------------------------------

what about the countries where young boys and girls are routinely used as prostitutes, where assaulting young boys regularly is “tradition”?

[...]

Maybe I’m just manipulated, maybe there’s some grand scheme to turn everybody in the western world into pro-contacts, and a tiny anti-contact community on tumblr dot com is where the disgusting revolution begins… but I highly doubt it.

The old “what about starving children in Africa” argument is not a decent counterpoint to anything since people started using it. One (1) submission to you about MAPs isn't me deciding that's more important issue of child abuse, and you have no idea what else I could be doing day to day.

Also: have you considered that the reason I even sent that in the first place is because of places like that?  For example: the west has a keen problem with sexualising young boys, telling them that if older women prey on them they should be grateful, and that it's not rape because boys inherently want sex 24/7. So that MAP and others like her are an issue because hey, they aren't helping that.

Small-scale abuse is still abuse. One minor being preyed on it too many. Other, truly non-offending MAPs getting caught in the crossfire is unfortunate though.

(Also I thought you'd appreciate the juxtaposition of your “child abuse is acceptable on a societal level in some places” comment and the sarcastic “who's trying to make child abuse acceptable on a societal level?” comment.)

[…] but I don’t think that means that they’re not ever allowed to talk about it, or that it’s harming children if they ever do, just that it’s gotta be done safely and reasonably.

You sound just like an anti-shipper right now, honestly.

[...]

Do you feel the same way about people who ship certain ships and talk openly about it?

I knew you were going to bring in anti-shipping.  I had had no idea why you would then, and I don't now, but I knew you were going to do it.

Anti arguments are ridiculous because they're about fiction. Getting off to Loli hurts no one because no child was abused to get those pictures. Shipping a 17 yo with a 25 yo, or an abusive relationship, or whatever hurts no one because they aren't real.

MAPs are real people attracted to real minors, so any argument against discussions of their attraction can't just be conflated with anti-shipping. You've already given me plenty of other decent enough reasons, bringing in anti-shipping is at best redundant and at worst conflates real life attraction to minors, and the expression thereof, with fiction.  Remember one of the most important points in the anti anti argument is that reality and fiction aren't the same.

Also I don't appreciate being inferred as some kind of pearl-clutcher because I find it abhorrent to have come across an “anti-contact” MAP making explicit comments about at least three real children, one of which they were discussing with another MAP. Half the point was it wasn't done safely or reasonably.

Idk is there a word that differentiates anti-contacts who are like her and anti-contacts who find anything like that abhorrent? If not, that'd be my advice to the community.

If you demonize the act of thinking that thought and the thought itself, rather than the content of the thought if made real, what do you hope to achieve other than causing unnecessary mental strain on a person that could negatively impact their coping?

[...]

That’s like saying that my arthritis isn’t okay, it’s not reasonable… like, it doesn’t matter, I’ve still got arthritis.

You seem to have the wrong idea – I'm not demonising the act of having the thought. I'm demonising the content of said thought, as well as the shitty way it can be (and was in that example) expressed.

I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this point tbh. My mother's rheumatoid isn't okay, you may think it's pointless to bring it up but she sees the fact that people don't really acknowledge how “not okay” it is as irritating.

Half the reason I've been able to deal with my depression was acknowledging my thoughts about myself aren't okay, and the only reason I went to the doctor in the first place.  The more I remind myself that the contents of those self-hating thoughts aren't okay (namely that it would be actively abusive to be saying these things to someone else for the same reason I say them to myself), the more I'm taking care of myself.

The kind of intrusive thoughts we're talking about with MAPs are probably a different breed to mine, of course.  However: that MAP and her pals would do well remembering that the contents of her thoughts, though not something she can help having, are not okay, because the way she's expressing that indicates she very much doesn't care.

You may think it's not important. I disagree.

------------------------------------

There are other things as I said but ehhhh there's no point in arguing with someone you agree with on most things on the basis that we're on differing sides on less important ones.  Kinda embarassed I ended up being someone who doesn't do their due dilligence eheh, this is a viceral topic for me so I got ahead of myself.  Sorry again.

Previous submission: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167987980707/submission-mod-vaporeon-i-guess-look-i-aint-a

"focused on only the intrusive thoughts as a reason not to blame MAPs for anything"

Not what I'm doing. Maps don't necessarily have intrusive thoughts, they have thoughts and attractions that they didn't choose to have - intrusive thoughts are just something I have that is comparable, and thus that I can empathize with them through. Intrusive thoughts are also something antis have taken to demonizing too lately, and I find that kind of thought policing to be dangerous to those suffering with unwanted thoughts. But none of that means that I'm removing blame from actions or speech.

"given the person's blog I sent you say they're anti-contact, it came off as you defending them as well"

I don't follow cinnamap, but I know that they're anti-contact. If my arguments defending anti-contact positions are also defending their position on those topics, then I'm glad we agree on those things, but that doesn't extend to me defending every view cinnamap has or everything they've ever done.

"my argument was in the scope of that anti-contact"

I apologize for assuming, by your wording and your claims that it was proof of a larger problem in their community, that you were extending blame to other anti-contact maps or justifying judgement against them based on those actions. As I said in the other post, I'll happily have a conversation about how to avoid and rectify situations like those posts.

"who was still actively and wilfully sexualising minors"

I know this is dark and I don't wanna have to say it, honestly it's awful to think about but... at the end of the day, that's what their condition is. The paraphilia is a sexual attraction to children. It can't be magicked away, only coped with. The conversation we're having, in regards to cinnamap, was whether that particular instance of "coping" was more harmful than good to them and others, and how to mitigate that in the future.

"so all your instances of you chastising me for “seeking out” MAPs is pointless"

I wasn't chastising you for that, I had no idea how you came across the stuff - I was chastising antis who actively seek it out to trigger themselves and to attack people. It's not healthy for them and it doesn't help prevention efforts.

"the MAP in those screenshots states they're anti-contact, so this isn't just about the "bad" side of MAPs. It's perfectly reasonable for an outsider to see people like her and think that “anti-contact” is one stop above virtue signalling"

In some of the reblogs on this post, I've talked about, to paraphrase, how pro-contacts are all assholes, but that doesn't mean that anti-contacts are incapable of being assholes: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167769139872/what-the-hell-are-maps

Just because a stance or behaviour isn't pro-contact doesn't mean that it's not flawed or bad in some way. I don't think that anti-contacts are all angels, but judging all anti-contacts by the bad eggs within their anti-contact community (which is what I was saying in the last post), especially when the core of the stance is such an important thing in prevention, would be daft.

Additionally, anti-contact isn't just virtue signaling in this case, it's a stance genuinely held and maintained by cinnamap - anti-contact refers to sexual or romantic contact, criminal offenses, it doesn't refer to whether or not you talk about kids. If I hold the stance that theft is wrong, it doesn't become virtue signaling to hold and maintain that stance even if I'm completely fine with saying that I sometimes think about driving a Ferrari (which I could never afford, ergo would have to steal in order to drive) - as long as I don't steal the Ferrari, I'm still maintaining the morality that I espouse. People read a lot into "anti-contact" and want it to mean more than it does, and then accuse someone who fully adheres to the actual definition of the label, of not being anti-contact because they don't adhere to the add-ons.

It's unreasonable to judge an entire community by a couple of posts written by one person - if somebody is too lazy to do further research into the community and what opinions are essential to it, and what opinions are varied, then they shouldn't be commenting on that community or passing judgements. That's even more extreme than saying that it's perfectly reasonable to judge all football fans by the actions of the football hooligans, without researching what it means to be a football fan or what the vast majority of them are like.

"You know how people go on about how feminists need to do in-house cleaning if they want to avoid people disliking the movement?  It's the same for the MAP community as well"

Which is a stance I supported in the very post you're replying to.

"The old “what about starving children in Africa” argument is not a decent counterpoint to anything since people started using it"

That wasn't what I was saying, and I'm sorry that I worded it in a way that could be read as such. I was saying that there are places where such things are normalized, but those practices in those places are considered abominable by our society, there's global effort to prevent them, there's hatred across the western world for pedophilia that exceeds the hatred people have for cannibalistic murderous psychopaths by a longshot. My point was that it isn't going to be normalized here, and that anti-contacts don't want the action normalized or legalized whatsoever, but that there are people out there who do and anti-contacts are as against those people as you and I. My argument was more that what you're talking about is being done by a completely different group and opposed by this group, because from your wording I believed your argument to be that there was some effort within the anti-contact community to normalize assaulting kids.

"Also I thought you'd appreciate the juxtaposition of your “child abuse is acceptable on a societal level in some places” comment and the sarcastic “who's trying to make child abuse acceptable on a societal level?” comment."

Given that my point was "these people are, these people aren't", how do the points at all contradict? Also, it wasn't sarcastic - I genuinely do highly doubt that there's some manipulation conspiracy to normalize it step by step, but it's not impossible, and it's not impossible that good intentioned small movements with positive goals end up supporting much eviler movements, look at radical feminism. Hence why I push so hard for their community to not become an echochamber.

"I knew you were going to bring in anti-shipping.  I had had no idea why you would then, and I don't now, but I knew you were going to do it."

I should've expanded on that point:

a) In regards to the words normalizing things and harming the wider populace - it's a tiny hated group on a tiny hated website, it has no normalizing power in the real world, and when done properly (adequately tagged, nsfw, private, etc), it wouldn't fall into the lap of anybody vulnerable enough to be hurt by it (aside from when blogs like the one you linked spreading it in screenshots that other people don't adequately tag, I suppose). One example definitely isn't normalizing anything.

b) You can completely normalize an idea, be 100% okay with the idea, fantasize about it 24/7 (which cinnamap wasn't doing but whatever), and the action still isn't normalized. I've watched so much horror, and I daydream about murder on the regular, I daydream about murdering noisy kids in the shop or people who've wronged me or the neighbour that puts up too many Christmas lights... but I've never killed anybody to my knowledge. I know that murder is wrong and I don't want to actually do it... even if I figuratively want to do it. There's a huge difference between fantasy and action, even when you're fantasizing about real people or actively discussing them.

Along those two veins, I believe that your argument has some of the same flaws as anti-shipper arguments, in regards to the normalizing power of the target group and words in general, and in regards to the level of effect that normalization could have on actions.

"Anti arguments are ridiculous because they're about fiction"

Even if fantasy is about real people, it's still fantasy - a description of a historical figure's aesthetic in a fictional book with commentary on their aesthetic appeal is still fiction. If you have a rape fantasy about somebody you actually know, it's still just a fantasy. From where I stand, as somebody who knows none of those people, as an outsider, there is no difference to the post's impact on me whether cinnamap was talking about a real person or a fictional character. The porn blogs that post short rape stories with gifs to match, and word them as though they're true stories from themselves or others, come across as more real and visceral, and they get put in all sorts of coping and mental health tags without being marked as NSFW.

Honestly, if "I saw a hot kid" on your personal blog that's covered in the word "map", marked as nsfw, and keeping the post out of random tags, is the worst you're doing, you're not really one of the bad bad ones, like, just have a little perspective regarding what they could be doing. It's just words, at the end of the day (disturbing words, but still just words that can be criticized), and I think this conversation alone, let alone the notes on the post you linked, has shown that people will come out in force against that and attempt to correct that behaviour... which is good, as I said, I'm against the post and even small problems are still problems - they're just not problems that justify assuming everyone in the community to be not genuine about the anti-contact position.

This isn't to say "there's worse out there so we can't complain", but rather, complain on par with what is happening - having a little suspicion about their morality and extending questions about that and expressing discomfort with the wording I can definitely understand, especially if you're not very aware of things like what anti-contact means or haven't read any of their other posts, but I cannot understand condemning the whole community with it, accusing it of "normalizing" anything, exaggerating its capability for causing harm, or assuming it a definitive statement on that person's moral code or intent regarding action.

I disagree with the posts, as I've said, I think it was crude and potentially very triggering, but I don't think it had any power to normalize anything or inflict large-scale harm - like anti-shippers, you're inflating the reach and impact of the post, when I think a simpler critique is warranted. If my friend gets drunk and gets into a fight in the pub, I don't say "Your anti-murder stance is basically virtue signaling, I can't trust you or any pub-goers, you're normalizing murder", I say "Stop being a dick, Frank".

"MAPs are real people attracted to real minors, so any argument against discussions of their attraction can't just be conflated with anti-shipping."

I'm not conflating them, I was remarking on an error in your argument that is also an error in theirs - comparison, not conflating. I'm sorry that it came across like I was though, it was badly worded.

"Also I don't appreciate being inferred as some kind of pearl-clutcher"

I wasn't inferring that, I was inferring that your argument had some of the same flaws as theirs. Just because you're both emotionally opposed to something and believe that it causes significant harm and poses significant risk doesn't mean that I'd refer to you both with the same pejorative label - especially when I've expressed opposition to that same post multiple times myself.

"Idk is there a word that differentiates anti-contacts who are like her and anti-contacts who find anything like that abhorrent? If not, that'd be my advice to the community."

I've expressed something similar about the opinion of keeping their distance from kids: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167831648067/did-you-even-try-to-address-any-of-the-points-on

Whether they should divide into smaller groups based on these opinion differences, or whether they should just leave it down to "we're obviously gonna disagree on some things even though we agree on others", is up to them to talk out amongst themselves.

"You seem to have the wrong idea – I'm not demonising the act of having the thought. I'm demonising the content of said thought, as well as the shitty way it can be (and was in that example) expressed."

If the content of the thought is demonized in the context of a thought, and not simply demonizing it in the context of action or specific kinds of expression of that thing, then you are demonizing the act of having the thought. I, personally, think the thoughts are gross and disturbing, however I'm not going to extend ethical judgment to that as the thoughts are not optional, just my own personal emotional judgement that allows people to understand that I don't personally want to hear that stuff unless I've been asked first if I'm in a mood where I can handle hearing it (for example if I'm needed to offer some kind of emotional help through a tough brain day).

There's a big difference between demonizing something, and acknowledging the risks of dwelling on something, acknowledging the emotional impact of it, acknowledging that it would be horrific in reality. A thought is just a thought, just a fantasy, just fiction - like I said in one of the posts I linked to you in my prior response, thoughts definitely can lead to behaviour, but if you're aware that it shouldn't be acted upon and you make the correct safety nets and decisions to prevent such a thing, there's no real reason to begin demonizing something that you cannot help, something that you're forced to mentally endure at length regularly, instead of simply coming to terms with the fact that it's just neurons firing and it has no power. Taking away its power actually helps with resisting.

"My mother's rheumatoid isn't okay, you may think it's pointless to bring it up but she sees the fact that people don't really acknowledge how “not okay” it is as irritating."

The point is that the arthritis not being okay doesn't reflect on the person who has the arthritis - if I'd done something you disliked, you wouldn't bring up the ethics of my arthritis as a way to insult me. If I'd stayed in bed all day because I couldn't move because of my arthritis, you wouldn't say "arthritis isn't okay, it's not reasonable, just get up". Whether the arthritis is "okay" or not doesn't change the fact that it's there, doesn't change whether or not I'm a good person, was my point. Whether it's "okay", in the context of a conversation where it's actually useful to discuss that, would be in reference to how much pain it causes, the stress it causes, the impact it has on life, how to mitigate those things (sympathetic not accusatory) - whether it's "okay" has no place in a conversation about morality. You're switching between two meanings of "okay" and two contexts of using it, and using one to justify the other.

I can't believe that you took my point so out of context here and you sound like you're implying that me, somebody with arthritis, is sat here going "I wish people would just never acknowledge how much it hurts".

You said: “We can accept that MAPs have little to no control over their attraction without accepting that their attraction is valid, reasonable or worth discussing except to demonise.”

Valid and reasonable are both judgements on whether something can or should exist or happen - something unreasonable and invalid should not happen. My point was that there is no point making ethical or logical judgments on the person or on the existence of arthritis or the thoughts, because those things exist and cannot just disappear - demonizing my arthritis, or them demonizing the thoughts, only leads to stress, while accepting limitations, addressing risks, and learning mindfulness are substantially better when faced with things that you can't change than anger and distress. Validity and okayness were pointless to bring up in the context in which you brought them up, because whether valid or invalid, reasonable or unreasonable, okay or not okay, these things are here to stay.

"The more I remind myself that the contents of those self-hating thoughts aren't okay [...]"

What are we using okay to mean now? You seem to change what "okay" means a few times in your replies, initially implying it means "ethical" but now implying it means "healthy".

You could change your thoughts, they can't. Healthy or ethical don't matter - if the conversation is about judgement or whether they should or shouldn't have them - if they're inevitable. If we're talking about reminding yourself of the emotional strain such thoughts can have on others if said to them, reminding yourself that they're dangerous thoughts to allow to consume you, and so on, then yes I believe that's good to remind yourself. If we're using "okay" to mean "ethical" again, and demonizing the thoughts and thereby demonizing the act of thinking them and the person who thinks them, leading to low self-esteem, isolation, and other emotional issues that can increase the risk of offending, then no I don't think it's a good idea for them to remind themselves of that.

"However: that MAP and her pals would do well remembering that the contents of her thoughts, though not something she can help having, are not okay, because the way she's expressing that indicates she very much doesn't care."

A better way to word this - if you mean what I think you mean, or what I would want to say - would be to remember the risk of discomfort to others that comes with the expression of such thoughts, and remember that your wording can convey to others a sense of how strongly you do or do not wish to refrain from very disturbing actions, and however strongly and genuinely you actually feel about that refraining they can't read minds and will make assumptions. Thoughts are just neurons firing, I won't bother judging ethically something that isn't harming anybody, I'm not the thought police - the behaviour is what causes the harm. Once the behaviour is controlled and the thoughts cannot overpower mental and physical safeguards, they're absolutely amoral.

"Kinda embarassed I ended up being someone who doesn't do their due dilligence eheh, this is a viceral topic for me so I got ahead of myself.  Sorry again."

That's okay, I've actually been really mentally fucked - depressed, hallucinating, all that fun stuff. And this topic kinda makes me wanna die sometimes. My responses haven't been fantastic and I'm sorry that it's not been a very smooth chat.

[samtheflamingomain]

why i rate stuff

Here's another post inspired by a random tweet I found on tumblr dot com.

The tweet goes "Shoutout to people who rate and review things, cuz I don't like to rate or review things, but I like to know how things are rated and reviewed".

This is weird to me because I rate and review everything. Even a 5-minute cab ride. And I always take surveys.

And I've never wondered why, because I know why: I want people to want to know what I have to say.

It all started back in the nineties, when I was born into a family that constantly told me to shut up and that nobody cares about anything I say or do.

Anyway, that's primarily why I always rate and review stuff. If it's like, "How nice was the guy that delivered your pizza?" I'll write a few words. If I buy a chair and I love it, I'll write a paragraph. If I buy a chair and I hate it, I'll write several. And people will read it, and they will want to read it.

Sometimes YouTube channels, mostly the bigger ones, will have occasional surveys they ask viewers to fill out, ranging from 5 basic questions on my demographics to 50+ in-depth questions about my views on abortion and gun control. I fill them out dutifully.

That's another part of it, now that I think of it. I feel like I have a sense of duty. Just like I really didn't want to leave the house on my one day off to go vote for someone who I knew wasn't going to win the election, it's my duty. Adulthood has many privileges, but also responsibilities. I never shirk my societal responsibilities.

I'll use an example. A few years ago I had a lot of money saved up and decided to go absolutely insane buying art supplies. I'm talking several thousands of dollars. It started out fine but quickly became an addiction.

That was a long time ago, but during that time, I'd receive a package almost daily for months on end. I loved the hit of dopamine when I'd open it and see what I got.

And when I had thoroughly experienced the item, I'd jump on my computer to leave its review. Everything. Stickers, washi tapes, stamps, fuckin erasers, all got reviewed.

At that time, I was duty-driven. The first time Amazon prompted me to review a purchase I said to myself, "I'm going to let people know this is overpriced. I have the money to throw away, but many others don't." I felt it was my responsibility to let those people know their $40 is best spent elsewhere.

But even on purchases I did like, I'd say, "I should let people know that this has a lot of versatility in its use, I wish I'd known that before buying it or I wouldn't have also bought [another item with the same function]".

So while I rate and review for others, I also do it, in a way, for myself. Because I'd want other people to rate and review important details so I can make an informed purchase. Golden Rule and all.

In a way, I kind of see reviews as a near-utopic level of our society. We all decided collectively that if we buy this thing, we should tell people who might want to buy the thing what pros and cons it has. It helps others, and ourselves. True society at work.  

There's been more than a few times where I was about to buy a 4-star item when I found the lone 1-star review that pointed out my one fear: it was flimsy, or it was too dark a color, or it wasn't big enough. (Talking storage boxes, mind outta the gutter, reader.)

So I think there are many, many reasons people rate and review: a sense of duty, a selfless way to help others, or simply a way to have your voice heard, even if it's something as simple as how hard it was to put together that shoe rack.

And to once again reference the tweet that got me started, I actually have no problem with people who *don't* rate and review things. It can be time-consuming, and even frustrating. Not everyone has time to deeply and thoughtfully consider if their purchase was right for them. That's totally fine.

If enough people are doing it (and I believe maybe like 1/3 of people or so probably do, and that's probably enough) then a few "leechers" off the "system" doesn't break it down. (In an opposite vein, I never seed torrents, so in that way I am a literal leecher lol).

To end this random-ass post, one thing I never review: restaurants.

Cabbies, pizza guys, items, even certain experiences. All fair game. The people, they have one job and one chance to "wow" me - i.e. bring my pizza and be polite. Drive me home and be polite. Hit those 2 boxes? 5 stars, 20% tip. Objects: does it fulfill its purpose as stated on the website? Great. 5 stars.

But a restaurant... I don't think it's quite fair to only give a restaurant one chance for you to then write an extensive review on. Like, I get that first impressions matter, but they're not everything.

The first time I went to the bar I now work at, I had an odd time, and the wings I ordered took a long time to come out. But as I later learned, I'd come in right at shift change, thus why I had 2 bartenders who didn't remember my drink tab and why the wings took a while. If I hadn't come in a second time, I wouldn't have known that crucial information, and the review I would've written wouldn't have really been fair.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to talk about. Reviewing is something that's very automatic to me, so to see it pointed out that most people don't immediately review everything they buy was kind of a shock.

Stay Greater.