#and thus begins the journey of figuring out okay how much is enough how much is too much how much is too little
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Also like. It's literally DAY ONE of my new screen-time enforcement. Not even a full twenty four hours yet.
And holy shit.
Literally, all day long, I have been physically itching to pick up my phone and get on here and see what's happening. Not even about specifically bad shit like I've been fixating on I mean for literally ANYTHING. Repeatedly, constantly, through out the day, picking up and flicking over to where the app was on my home page and just. Staring for a minute until I realize what I'm doing. Over and over and over and just seeking and seeking and seeking... i don't know what, but SOMETHING. To make posts, check posts, see what's going on... like physically fucking painful. And then towards the end of the day, the fucking anxiety literally all built around not know exactly what's happening right now what if I miss something. The fucking legit panic. Then the relief right as I sat down at my computer.
Like. I rolled my fucking eyes when people talk about the Youths being Addicted To Their Phones. But holy shit. Holy shit. There was. APPARENTLY. an underlying issue to ALL of this [gestures at self and the various smaller yoyo-ing mental breaks happening lately] that I had no fucking CLUE about.
On the one hand I feel so fucking silly for having such a hard time doing something so simple, just "wait till you get home then limit your time." But on the other hand there's... a bit of a relief element? Like "oh, okay, this was. there was something WRONG wrong here."
#and thus begins the journey of figuring out okay how much is enough how much is too much how much is too little#bit by bit by bit figuring out my personal shit#phone addiction#social media addiction#full apologies in spite of all the Clock App Bad Bird App Poisoning Your Minds shit i've rb'ed half serious half jokey jokey#I am CLEARLY not immune#and taking it a hell of a lot more seriously now
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What do the batboys do for hobbies in your opinion
Hobbies for Bat Boys!
Rhysand
Okay so to be honest, I feel like Rhys is constantly stressed out being high lord and having to make all these heavy decisions, so his hobby would be something super relaxing and something you wouldn't expect.
First off, Rhysie is such a fashionista, just like his mother. He is absolutely going out with you to pick out all your outfits for the season. You are probably the best dressed female in Pyrthian and it is all because of him. He goes out of his way to custom design outfits for you, often playing a role in hand tailoring dresses that don't fit you perfectly so that it fits you like a sleeve. He knows different styles that look amazing on you, even when you don't think so. All the ladies of Valeris follow your fashion sense, not knowing that it is actually Rhys who is the trend setter for the night court.
Okay, this is kinda out there, but!!! I feel like Rhys would also just love flipping homes. He didn't realize this until after the attack on Valeris, but when he began to help with rebuilding the homes that were destroyed, he realized how much he enjoys the intricacies of designing a home, and surprisingly, he loves the handiwork of it too. Maybe it is the Illyrian in him that finds satisfaction in building something from the ground up. Once the homes of Valeris are rebuilt, he is really bored and can't figure out why until he decides to create a vacation home for just the two of you, and then he realizes what he has been missing out on. Now, he likes to build vacation homes for you and your future children and grandchildren from the ground up.
Cassian
For our daddy Cassian, I think he would pull a fast one on you and be really good at baking. You would think for a big, burly, hunk of a male he would be into wrestling or training as a hobby, but I think he sees it as more-so a job than a hobby. It comes to him when its nearing your birthday, and he is tearing the house apart to find the old recipe book his mother used to create birthday cakes for him when he was just a babe. Finally, he finds it with all these recipes that have tiny handwritten changes inked into the pages, and he realizes that his mum poured her love into her cooking and baking. So he tries to do that for you. Because he loves you more than he can possibly describe. So he bakes a five tiered black forrest cherry cake, with marachino cherries he hand picked from Summer Court (which he had to sneak into and out of with the help of a certain spymaster) and fudge imported from the Autumn Court. It turns out to be the best cake you and he have ever eaten, and thus begins his journey as a home baker. Cass becomes extremely good at making pies, cakes, and macrons. He never shows up to a family dinner without some form of dessert. At this point, even Elain can't complain because the sweets he brings are just too good.
Another hobby that I think Cass would have would be going to nursing homes or daycares where he can interact with the elderly and little babes. He always brings a dessert in tow that has the children literally climbing on top of him. He listens to the stories that the elderly have for him, taking note of all the lessons that he learns from them about love and life, sometimes sharing the stories with you in the deep of night like the little gossip he is. And he likes to play games with all the little babes, encouraging them to join him outside so they can play hide and seek in the woods behind the daycare. Sometimes you tag along because the babes love story time with you, complaining that Cass doesn't show the drawings for long enough like you do.
Azriel
The shadowsinger is indeed a singer.
He spends a lot of time in his private office with you lounging on the couch nearby reading, taking the time to develop different song lyrics and hymns for you. It is the one thing that he inherited from his father that he is willing to accept, is his musical creativity. He likes to collect different musical instruments and uses them to create different toons that he will only ever play for you. Sometimes he puts on one male shows just for you, playing the piano while softly singing you a song that he wrote with you in mind. He could spend hours trying to figure out the different keys and notes that he can achieve just to formulate something that might put into words how he feels about you.
I think Az is also the kind of male who is really interested in learning dead languages. He would find this ancient book in the libraries beneath the the House of Wind, and could spend days if you let him, trying to decode the meaning of the books. He likes the phenotics and analyzing different poetry and trying to make sense of what fae in the past felt and thought.
To expand on the last point, Azzie is def the history buff of the bat boys. He loves learning about the history wars and times of depression in the past, and how the world came together to make something better. You think that he thinks it brings him hope, and teaches him lessons that he can't get from anywhere else. He tries to apply them as spymaster of the night court.
Plus his reading glasses make him look incredibly sexy so you aren't complaining.
Masterlist
What do we think the hobbies are for the Vanserra bros?
#rose answers#acotar#acotar fanfic#acotar headcanons#rhysand x reader#rhysand acotar#rhysand hcs#cassian x reader#cassian acotar#cassian hcs#azriel x reader#azriel acotar#azriel hcs#rose rambles
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i've had a fic in my drafts for multiple years now (first version of it is from shortly post witch in the web) about paul becoming something of a surrogate dad for hannah (or, more accurately, just beginning on that journey, and then the events of tgwdlm happen). and now i have an idea for a similar story that i think i'm even less likely to finish, so i'm gifting it to tumblr:
bill becoming grace's new, better dad (potentially leading to, depending on how much you want to balloon the scope, the full ccrp gang (minus ted, for timeline reasons we'll get to shortly) becoming psuedo-parental figures for the full npmd protag gang)
to start: bill and grace. i think we can all agree that grace deserves better parents, right? well, there's one reason i think bill is the prime candidate to step into that role for her: they're canonically the same denomination and go to the same church. meaning that a) bill has seen this girl once a week for probably her whole life, so he's got to at least know her a little bit by now, and b) grace probably has a baseline level of respect for and willingness to listen to him, at least compared to any of the other ccrp adults (who are all different denominations).
them having their church in common gives them a starting point, but we also know just how different bill is from grace's parents (for one, he has no problem with his daughter being gay and dating). so being around him could give grace another perspective on life, one she wouldn't be so easily able to dismiss out of hand. there's a chance, however slight, that grace might actually believe him when he shows her there are other ways to be good. other ways to Be.
i guess there's also the possibility that grace's family (and thus grace) could secretly despise bill for not adhering to their version of their denomination's beliefs? but i still think it could work given the right circumstances.
what would be those circumstances, you ask? here's what i think:
the workin boys timeline, post workin boys (gals).
think about it: bill was there, and he has to know grace was there, since she's the one who Dealt with hidgens. imagine being him, and going to church the next sunday, and seeing her there. you'd be at least a little concerned about how she's doing, right?
now, answer me this: do you think grace's parents would be at all equipped to give grace the emotional support she would need after that experience? do you think they'd react at all rationally when they found out about this whole thing?
do you think grace would be able to fully keep up appearances the next time she went to church, after smiting someone in the name of god?
which is to say, i think bill, for as obtuse as he can sometimes be, would notice that she's not okay. and knowing how much he misses alice when she's not around, and how much he always worries for her... i think it's a fair jump to make that bill's fatherly side would start coming out. that he'd offer to be there for grace, and maybe start looking into her family on his own.
and grace, after a short while doing her best to hold things together on her own, cracks, and decides to take him up on that offer.
i think bill would have to do some more developing himself in order to really help grace, because we do see in his relationship with alice that familiar strain of overprotectiveness, even if it's much less dominant than in the chasitys. in that respect, i think setting a version of this idea in the watcher world timeline could be easier, because bill goes through some serious development there... but overall i find that version less interesting for grace, so instead, bill is gonna have to learn the longer way.
it would take a while for bill to start getting at the heart of how grace got messed up by her parents. but i think, with enough time — and maybe some help from a certain social worker and his specially gifted (girl)friend, if we say this timeline is one of the better 50% — he could get there.
now, i mentioned the other npmd teens up top. for the sake of this story, i like imagining that ruth actually survived; she hid when hidgens started murdering and he didn't get to her before the curtains went up. so she gets to be here! yay!
but, uh. none of them are doing too hot. obviously a ruth who lived through that would be traumatized; it might even ruin her love of theater entirely. ritchie saw it all, and i figure ruth wouldn't come out of hiding until after it was all over, so there were a good few minutes at least where he genuinely believed his (maybe best) friend was dead.
and, pete... he wasn't there, but, ya know. he lost his brother. so.
all the kids need help, is the point. and if bill is starting to look after grace, then it's basically inevitable (heh) that he'd start seeing some of ritchie (since he and grace were already kind of friends in this timeline, and i can imagine them developing a trauma bond in the aftermath of the event) and then, by association, ruth. i can even imagine him encouraging grace to hang out with them more as part of her healing, and then they could start having hang-outs at his place, and... plus, i figure the other ccrp adults probably at least vaguely knew about ted's younger brother, so bill doing at least one courtesy check-in on pete makes sense. and pete is friends with richtie and ruth, so, it all comes together!
and at some point, if bill is gonna end up helping out all these teens to some extent, it'll probably become part of his small talk at work, and that's how, if you wanted to, you could get the other adults involved. like, we know paul has babysat for alice before, so i think bill could probably convince him to help out here too... eventually. i mean, it's not like he'd ask him to take them to a musical, given Everything. if paul has started pursuing something with emma, then she can be here too! and charlotte... well, i don't know if we know anything about her opinion on children, and i don't want to stereotype her given she's the only woman of the group. but she's at least generally a nice person; i think she'd be willing to help out when she sees bill starting to get overwhelmed.
which basically just leaves the question of how steph gets involved. my answer: she hears about what happened, then learns that pete's brother was one of the casualties, and through some combo of feeling obligated and having a spark of an interest in pete, reaches out to him to ask how he's doing. so she gets pulled in through him. with this set-up, tho, i figure she probably wouldn't be a major player (though she definitely also deserves a better parent... that can be its own story).
to kind of wrap this up, the point of this whole story concept is that bill accidentally gets a second daughter, figuring out how to be a better dad in the process; and grace, on the precipe of entering adulthood with some fresh trauma, gets a real chance at salvation. a chance to be, relatively, normal. or, whatever she wants to be when free of her parents' expectations and religious standards. anything else for any other characters is a bonus.
(there can also be some alice — bill drama when alice next visits and starts noticing how much bill is devoting himself to this girl that isn't even his daughter. drama that, eventually, results in the two of them becoming closer, and grace getting an honorary older sister!)
(also remember that duke and holloway can be here helping with the kids, if you want them to be. and why wouldn't you?)
like i said up-top, i have no plans to actually write this. y'all can take it and do whatever you want with it. i just hope at least one other person gets something out of this bain blast i had :D
#starkid#hatchetfield#grace chasity#bill woodward#not tagging everyone else#workin boys#workin boys spoilers#nerdy prudes must die#(not really but close enough)#going back to the bill already knowing grace thing: i could honestly see him checking in on her as the theater's clearing out#sitting with her until her parents arrive or bringing her home#...except that the whole 'my coworker i brought with me to this show got shot' thing would probably be his primary overriding concern#i think he'd only really start thinking about the Implications for grace once some time had passed#on an entirely other note: if people are interested in the paul & hannah fic i mentioned up top let me know and i'll get into it :)
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Eddie thinks it's sweet that Steve puts so much time and effort into engaging in Eddie's hobbies and passions. Like, SO sweet. But he can't help but feel bad for not engaging in Steve's interests as well. So he tries to think what he can do to show Steve that it's not one-sided, that Eddie cares about Steve's interests as well, but he has a hard time coming up with ideas.
There's the obvious things like taking Steve to a basketball game or listening to his ABBA and Tears for Fears tapes with him (without complaining loudly about it the whole time). But beyond that, he's pretty stumped. So he goes to Robin.
"Rob, you gotta help me out here," he begs her. "Tell me what Steve's hobbies are, you know him better than anyone."
"Shouldn't you know his hobbies? You guys have been dating for months," Robin replies.
"Yeah, but he doesn't ever talk to me about these sorts of things, we always end up talking about my interests instead, which I know is so shitty. Please, Robin, help me to not be a shitty boyfriend," he gives her the best puppy dog eyes he can manage and she caves pretty quickly, settling in to help him make a list of all of the things Steve is into.
It doesn't take long for them to realize that Robin doesn't know any better than Eddie does what Steve is into. This, of course, makes them both feel bad. So Eddie resolves to go straight to the source. He talks to Steve about it.
Eddie apologizes for not even knowing what things his boyfriend is into enough to enjoy those things with him, but Steve just shrugs it off. He genuinely likes a lot of the stuff that Eddie has introduced him to, he still doesn't really like metal music and he doesn't have any desire to play D&D, but he likes taking Eddie to concerts and feeling the energy of the crowd; he loves going to Eddie's performances at the Hideout and watching his boyfriend be an absolute rockstar; he likes sitting in on D&D sessions and watching Eddie in his element as DM; he likes listening to Eddie read his favorite books aloud to Steve, doing different voices for each character.
But Eddie still feels bad, because it shouldn't be all about his hobbies all the time, relationships go two ways and he wants to support Steve's interests too. He tells him this, but Steve just shrugs it off again and says that he doesn't really have any interests.
And Eddie gets it. Gets that Steve has spent his entire life living for other people, being King Steve, keeping his parents happy and everyone around him in awe. He hasn't really gotten a chance to just be himself, to even figure out who he is and what he likes.
And Eddie gets it, but he also hates it. He wants Steve to find who he is and what he loves, he wants to give him that chance. He wants Steve to find things to be passionate about too, because everyone deserves to have things to be passionate about.
"Okay," he says. "So, lets find you some then."
Steve just sort of blinks at him then asks, "What?"
"Lets find you some interests, something of your own to be passionate about,"
Steve considers for a moment. "Um, okay, how exactly do we do that? Just test out hobbies until something sticks?" He asks, not really being serious.
"Yeah," Eddie says, and he is being serious. "Try interests on like clothes and get rid of them if they don't fit. Let me help you find something that you love, Stevie, you deserve to have passions just like anyone else."
Steve thinks about it for a moment, before quietly asking, "And you'll help me?"
Eddie nods, "Yeah, baby, I'll help you."
And thus begins the journey to find Steve some hobbies.
#i'm gonna write a fic about it but i wanted to post the idea here first#steddie#steddie hcs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie ficlet#is this a ficlet? i am a bit unclear on what qualifies as a ficlet#regardless. it will eventually be a full fic#i already have it planned out hehehe#anya.txt
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// spoilers for marius' sweet chapter event storyline
hey so i just finished playing thru the phase 2 story and
holy moly, that was good and made me so emotional jhvJKVKSHFVJSDF. once again, i cannot emphasize enough just how much i adore grief narratives and themes, and all the parallels to cyrus brown (also lol at how they changed his name from chris brown jHVSKJFVJSD) to marius' own experience with giann
but the whole brother parallel is obvious and clearly tackled within the story. what i wanna talk abt instead is how a very specific portion of this story made me realize smthing that marius has done over and over again across so many of his stories.
and thus
mini character analysis (or maybe character observation?): marius and emotional distancing
wc: 1.1k obligatory disclaimer that these are just my own thoughts and interpretations. contains spoilers of marius' sweet chapter event, his personal story 4, and several of his cards
anyhoo, the part of the sweet chapter event that piqued my interest and made my brain.
in the last part of the story, when talking about how timmy's experience with cyrus reminded him of his own life, marius opened up on his his father and giann were busy when he was younger and that made him feel like nobody cared (before giann noticed and played a more active role guiding and encouraging marius). but when marius is telling his story, mc notes that:
the wording here nagged at me, because it felt so familiar. and i realized that mc notes something similar in marius' personal story 4, after marius opens up after nearly dying as a child because he was locked in a basement freezer, which, sidenote, im never getting over how fucked up that is!! marius are yOU OKAY???
mc was also hella concerned as i was, and notes the manner in which marius tells her about this:
theres two more examples i want to bring up.
in SSR Sweet Wonders (marius' dreams of childhood card), marius opens up about how, due to the psychological impact of him blaming himself for his mother's death, he got really sick for a while as a child. mc once again notes on how he tells this story:
and last example, SSR All Through The Night (marius' xmas partyland card). i dont have a screenshot for that because what i wanna add from there is speckled across the entire story:
mc learns about a picture book marius had drawn when he was a child, one that told the story that parelleled his own journey to learning about why his mother died.
whats my point here? that on many moments where marius recalls and explains very heavy things on his past, theres two things that stuck out to me.
first, the calm, collected demeanor. and second, the concept of him telling a story, one that belongs to someone else, one that he has detached himself from.
this peaks my interest for two reasons.
the "I'm Totally Over It" vibes
marius minimizes the concern that mc could possibly feel by masking any negative emotion he could possibly show.
this is hugely in line with how he is as whole, because he likes to present himself as carefree, light, easy-going, teasing and playful and nothing gets to him. tho by virtue of playing thru mc's perspective, we know this isnt true because marius' story themes are also chock full of the facades and personas he needs to don to survive as a public figure. marius had to learn how to be a good actor, and he succeeds, and this is again is super aligned with how he masks negative emotion with the mask of "i am unaffected by these objectively messed up experiences i had! This Doesn't Bother Me. I'm Totally Over It."
i found this interesting in contrast to luke. who also masks his negative feelings, but leans toward less of "This Doesn't Bother Me" and more of "no need to worry about that because it's Not Important." it's emotional minimization that could possibly leave room for "yeah, this maybe does bother me, but me being bothered is nothing of value."
but marius circumvents that process at the beginning by simply acting that he isnt even bothered in the first place.
now, this is something that maybe artem and vyn do too, but my knowledge of stories for them isnt as encyclopedic as my knowledge on luke ajhvfasjkhfvajsh so i wouldnt be able to accurately get a read on how they do on this sphere.
idk it's just cool to me to see the subtle variations in how the boys deflect and omit their vulnerabilities!
but back to the concept of "I'm Totally Over It", one way marius achieves this calm collectedness is through the next recurring commonality
the "story" involving the character who is separate from the storyteller
marius speaks of past experiences like hes a detached narrator telling another person's story. he even does this in an near-literal way with his picture book in SSR All Through The Night.
[EDIT TO ADD ONE MORE EXAMPLE of near-literal storytelling and distancing that was later pointed out by milkyway!anon: marius also does this in his very first character pv introduction, ever since the beginning
how he frames all this in his pv is pretty clearly in a playful storybook/bedtime story kinda way, both in the visual execution and writing. i always adored his character pv for being so different and cute and playful, but now in light of how The Rest Of What We Know and what i mentioned in the rest of this analysis, it's now way more interesting and...sad
i use this screenshot in particular detaching himself blatantly. while this part of the pv does this in regards to how the public sees him as a symbol instead of a being (and thus distancing who he is from like, his inherent Being A Person), marius also does it to himself by virtue of telling the story and walking away from it, albeit cutely, as he is a cat
heres the story. hes the narrator, and the character within the story is him but not him as well.]
in doing this, he once again seemingly relieves himself of any "bother" or negative emotions that he could experience, because all stuff that happened? it's not him. it's a character in a story, one that is not him and specifically separate from him because he is the one telling the story.
i fear im not making sense now (tho tbh when am i ever making sense jHVJSHDVFJ) but let me try and explain it through this post (which no longer exists on ops blog so i have to link my rb of it huhu) that shows a collection of quotes that hit the nail on the head, regarding this concept.
when you tell a story, as the storyteller, you are ultimately the one in control. part of being in control means that, if you know how to tell your story, you can ultimately lay all the details down while also leaving it, disconnecting from it, and distancing from it.
distance, imo, is the most fitting word to me, for how marius goes about his heavier experiences.
he distances from the emotions he felt and could possibly still be feeling, he distances from the fact that it was him who went through it, and he distances from mc's worry that could happen as a response.
of course, since mc is the best and an angel, she always takes the time to reassure marius that shes here for him and that hes not alone, that shes with him every step of the way (both him as the "character" he is Not in his stories and the person he Is in the present)
still, it's really fascinating on a characterization level that distancing and detaching is marius' go-to method. hes already somebody that has so many layers of facades and "different" selves, and here he is once more creating another self:
one that didnt go through all of what he went through.
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It’s Gushing About Cinderella 1997 Time Again
Okay, so instead of color theory, today, I’m looking at Cinderella’s journey with trust, the Prince’s inability to recognize her at the ball, and how that aspect of the original fairytale got utilized to further along the theme of learning to trust people to love you for who you are.
Part 1: The Prince Meets Cinderella
When the prince meets Cinderella just after The Sweetest Things, there is no magic involved at all, and he’s IMMEDIATELY smitten with her. Just thinks she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen and makes no bones about trying to figure out how to ask her out even after she’s excused herself to go about her day. Cinderella is visibly uncomfortable with the attention, but doesn’t completely turn him away. We know from The Sweetest Things that she WANTS love, that she yearns for it even, but the moment someone turns around and gives it to her, she doesn’t seem to know what to do with it anymore. She’s mostly confused by the prince’s behavior, but ultimately gains enough confidence and chutzpah to call him out on continuing to pester her even when she’s made it fairly clear she’s not interested by asking him if he even knows how to treat a woman.
And of course has her iconic line:
He sticks his foot in his mouth right after by saying she’s “not like most girls” which I will somewhat excuse as we know the prince has grown up massively sheltered and has likely not spoken to many women outside of the trappings of nobility who are all attempting to gain his or his parents’ favor, particularly as a suitor (we also know from a later scene that his mother has been attempting to set him up for a while and this is likely how he has met most women he’s ever interacted with).
Cinderella chooses to be forgiving and admits that she’s led a fairly sheltered life, thus how she’s gained her opinions I suppose, and the prince admits the same and they really seem to connect TOGETHER for the first time before the stepmother interrupts. Despite her choice to try to walk away from the prince when he initially showed interest in her, Cinderella risks her stepmother’s impatience and irritation by turning back one last time to watch the prince leave. She WANTS love, she WANTS to trust that someone could be interested in her like this, but she doesn’t completely trust it to happen or to last.
Part 2: The Prince sees Cinderella at the Ball
The next time the prince sees Cinderella is at the ball. He’s just spent the last several hours making nice with a bunch of women he doesn’t know and isn’t interested in so he can appease his mother. Presumably, he could probably expect the girl he met in the marketplace a few days ago might make an appearance given that the invite went out to all the girls in the kingdom, but he never mentions it. While it was clearly a nice connection to make in the moment, he seems to mostly chalk it up to a successful trip to the village, made nicer by a pretty girl and doesn’t think much about it afterwards, esp since the problem of the ball comes up immediately and his attention gets derailed.
In other words, the prince is not thinking about Cinderella anymore. Not maliciously, but he’s got other things on his mind, so when she shows up and he doesn’t recognize her despite having flirted with her only a few days ago, it’s somewhat understandable. Plus, she’s all made up with a completely different hairstyle and a nice dress and they have only met ONCE, for a few minutes total, several days ago.
But, that being said, while he doesn’t recognize her, he IS once again immediately smitten with her, and he does have that sense of familiarity, he just can’t place where. The problem then comes when he starts to try to guess how he knows her.
His guesses are all related to Cinderella being rich and/or nobility like him rather than considering that commoner girl he flirted with in the marketplace only a few days ago. Cinderella reacts fairly kindly to those guesses, telling him that she can’t swim, so she wouldn’t have been at the lake that summer, or that she’s never been to the mountains where his lodge is. But these assumptions eventually feed into Cinderella’s feelings of inadequacy and her fears that he won’t care for her when he finds out who she really is despite his initial reaction to her in the marketplace.
She starts to get flustered again when he calls her beautiful and her attention is drawn to how everyone around her is looking at them, but is effectively distracted by the Prince beginning to sing and only becomes flustered again once the King and Queen decide to insert themselves into the situation and get to know her and the reality of what seems to be happening hits her. She just intended to go to a fun party and dance a little, but now she’s gotten the attention of the Prince and it’s coming back to her that the point of the ball was for the Prince to find a WIFE. But she can tell, both from the Prince’s earlier comments and the ones made by the King and Queen asking who she is and who her family is, that they’re assuming things about her status that aren’t true.
Cinderella wants to keep living in a fantasy, though, where a Prince could love someone like her, so every time her reality comes into the conversation, she tries to move the conversation away. She wants to live in the bubble of romance the Prince is creating for her rather than talking about her family or what he wants in a wife.
And it works, right up until the clock strikes midnight and that reality crashes down on her like an avalanche.
Despite everything they’ve talked about that night, about how he knows she’s The One despite just having met her, about what he wants in a wife and how she seems to fit that description, about their feelings, Cinderella does not trust that he’s going to like her once he finds out who she is. Because despite how much time they’ve spent with each other (which, according to clock, is about 45 minutes now), he hasn’t recognized her as the girl from the marketplace ONCE.
Cinderella herself never mentions whether she recognizes the Prince from the marketplace or not, but we can fairly safely assume that she does. That moment meant a LOT to her, it was likely the first friendliness she had been shown in a while, especially by a stranger, and it hit her like a ton of bricks. It showed her that someone COULD be interested in her for who she is, could grow to love her.
And of course, meeting the Prince’s family at the ball gives her a sense of what it would be like to be part of HIS family, a family that already does seem to like her well enough and clearly care about their son. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of having, but they all believe her to be something she isn’t, and she can’t trust that they’d treat her the same if they knew. So instead of risking it all for love, for that dream, she runs again. She’d rather leave it one really good night and a lifelong what-if than get rejected one more time.
Cinderella runs home, back to what she knows, back to what’s comfortable. In the “Do I Want You” reprise, Cinderella appears wistful, but resigned. The Prince, on the other hand, seems almost more confident and determined. He’s smiling at the empty courtyard, even before he sees the shoe left behind. Cinderella is prepared to let everything go, but the Prince no longer is. She told him at the ball is that the problem with most people is that they only dream about things without ever doing anything about it.
So he does. He commits himself to finding her, even WITHOUT the shoe, he’s committed to finding her.
Part 3: The Prince Finds Cinderella
Obviously, the fact that the Prince has the need to go out and have everyone try on the shoe means he still has no idea who Cinderella is. He never asks her name at the ball, so he hasn’t connected her to the girl from the marketplace who DID tell him her name. He can’t just go into the village and ask for “Cinderella” yet. But the fact that he goes INTO the village at all means he has recognized that this girl could be literally anyone, commoner or nobility, and it doesn’t matter to him which it is. He’s making no assumptions about her identity anymore.
And then he sees her. In an obvious throwback to their first meeting, he finds her having just dropped all of her belongings in front of a carriage because it moved in front of her a little quickly.
Backing up, though. Cinderella’s gone through an entire journey during this time period. She left the Prince behind at the ball, ready to leave that dream behind as “impossible.” And gives it one last go with the family she was left with, trying to connect with them, be a part of it. And it fails. Again.
But it gives her the strength to realize that this was never going to work. And while she doesn’t believe she can be what a Prince wants, she DOES believe she deserves to be loved and deserves better than what her stepmother is dishing out.
So, the next day, while the Prince is out with a glass slipper, going through every eligible girl in the kingdom trying to find her, Cinderella is preparing to leave her childhood home and set out on her own. Even when she ostensibly DOES hear the Prince in the house, trying on the slipper with her family, she chooses not to make herself known to him, and walks away.
But not quite fast enough and the Prince sees her.
She is once again dressed as a commoner with no magic involved, and this time, the Prince immediately recognizes her both as the woman from the marketplace AND the woman from the ball. From behind. By referencing their first meeting where he initially made his interest known, he indicates that he still likes her despite now knowing her background, and perhaps even BECAUSE he now knows her background as the first woman he ever met who truly understood how he felt and treated him like a person, with kindness and respect, rather than like a Prince.
Cinderella has a choice here. He recognizes her, yes, but she doesn’t have to play along. She doesn’t have to turn around and admit to anything, she COULD, presumably, choose to keep running. But the fact that he RECOGNIZES her, finally, and still wants her, gives her just enough courage to turn around and trust him and confirm her identity, both as the girl in the marketplace and the girl who fits the slipper.
And it pays off. Trusting someone to love you as you are, having the courage to actually go after your dream, to let it come true, pays off.
Have I mentioned how much I love this movie recently? Because this is PEAK Cinderella, and I love this movie.
#cinderella 1997#whitney houston#cinderella#rodgers and hammerstein cinderella#brandy norwood#paolo montalban#whoopi goldberg#victor garber
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Stardew Impact [Stardew Valley+Genshin Impact x Reader]
Part 2/3 Zhongli, Xiao
Synopsis: “A mysterious phenomenon brought you and your s/o to an unfamiliar world: Pelican Town! Without the power of Visions, the two of you begin to learn the life of what it takes to be...a farmer?”
(DOMESTIC FARM LIFE ROUND TWO)
Genre: Fluff
Others
Diluc and Kaeya
Albedo and Childe
(A/n): This was meant to be part 3 but I couldn't wait to write xiao. Plus Ive been writing Albedo for almost the whole month already Word count_2.6k
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Xiao
• Thrown in an unfamiliar environment puts Xiao on high alert. Instincts kick in and his hand subconciously grabs for his spear. Nothing. Not even his vision activated. Xiao's gaze darts all over before landing on your figure. He sighs in relief, you're safe, that much he can decipher as of now.
• Stripped of his power, left with only claws and teeth (if must) to protect you from any dangers, he was ansty with every little thing.
• The villagers are so nice??? For what reason must they have to act so friendly to strangers (Xiao wonders). The Mayor even granted you two a vast farmland free of charge.
• Shortly he realized he no longer had his karmaic debt. Xiao wasn't sure how to live his life in this state. He dedicated his entire existence to years of slaughter and suffering that it became the only thing he knew. He won't admit it of course, he'll just throw in scoffs and remarks about how mundane activities are a waste of time when in reality, he just has no clue on how to handle them.
• Thats why the first day was difficult as you both try to figure out how to plant parnsips. Deciding it was better to go with an experiment, you split the share of seeds in half and used what basic knowledge you had on farming to finish the job. Xiao on the other hand tried copying what you did….though the outcome wasn't so desirable it was a mess. (His trained hands have taught him to be on the rough side).
• He doesn't bother socializing with the townspeople even though he has no karmaic debt to worry about. Xiao thinks you're more than enough anyways so what's the point?
• Robin is the only person who can tolerate him for obvious reasons (cough Sebastian cough) she knows exactly how to deal with his personality type. His glares don't faze her, she simply thinks its just a teenage phase of some sort.
• Eventually they become mutuals, Xiao thinks Robin is similar to Verr Goldet in a way. Since he's the one who does the heavy labour of chopping down trees and mining stones for building upgrades, he gets a chance to visit her house quite often. He comes back with lots of recipes too.
• You find out that his adepti blood never left him. Xiao doesn't need sleep so you better believe it when he tells you the next morning that he spent the whole night watering all 300 of your crops (watering is the only process he's good at for farming).
• Sometimes you catch him staring out of the window, wondering what he may be thinking. Life was so much more different, almost hard to recognize. Was this real? Is it okay for it to be real, just this once? Ever since he committed his duty to Morax, Xiao didn't dream of a time when everything would be peaceful. Yet here he is, no longer a weapon but on a journey to find out what it's like to live as a normal person.
• Spring: Every morning you find him kneeling behind the cabin with the pet cat (yes, cats seem to suit Xiao very much). He just stares at them, hesitant if he wanted to pet their fur or rub their chin. So he continues to glare intensely, scaring your cat away :(
• Whenever you wanted to attend any of the town's festivities, Xiao wouldn't even hide his distastefulness but goes with you regardless. Why do mortals consider hiding eggs and finding them a fun activity? And what kind of a name is Flower Dance? Can't they just call it a dance?
• Though…he does like the sight of you wearing a flower crown. Xiao likes putting stuff in your hair.
Since setting foot upon this new world, time seemed to have slowed down to the point that almost everything felt like an eternity. And you didn't mind, with him by your side, you wouldn't mind if it did last forever.
The lull of the grass was the only sound Xiao could hear as he closed his eyes and rested his head on your lap. You maneuvered across his scalp in small, subtle motions, surprised with how warm he felt against the heat your palm. He stirs a little and lets out a soft breath before turning his face to lay on the side.
You were slightly intrigued by the yaksha's new demeanor. From far away, Xiao was an intimidating man, even during the first time you laid eyes him, his presence felt similar to a knife pointing at anyone who dares to come too close. But now, the face that usually held his signature annoyance melted into something you never thought you'd see as the sun rays brushed against the surface of his fair skin. You observed the way his dark eyebrows stayed in a relaxed arch. The red crescents lining right above his beautiful long lashes and the sound of soft snores through parted lips. It was hard to believe that this man was the same person who claimed to have ended a thousand lives through thousands of years.
Did he fall asleep already?
Gently moving away the strands away from his cheekbone, hovered your gaze above him and whispered, "I thought adepti don't need rest."
"Hmph," Xiao responds, though there was no harshness in his tone, "Quit trying to be difficult, I didn't tell you to stop."
The smug grin on your face only widens. You lean downward and said to his ear, "And what's the magic word~?"
Xiao sighs at your antics. You were truly pushing your luck today and he simply didn't have the patience to entertain you. Without a warning, he grabs your wrist and pulls you down, foreheads pressing until you were but a breath away. The adepti conquers, he does not plead.
• Summer: As expected, your parnsnips weren't able to grow as much. Thus, this season was going to be the one to make up for the lost profit. Xiao is very good at hunting, perhaps the best in the entire town. Though the way he catches fish is rather peculiar, said by the folks. He prefers to carve a spear made of wood and repeatedly stabs the lake until results show. Xiao dislikes the old fashioned way, he says its unproductive and it unecissarily takes too much time.
• But as much as he scared the whole town, they were extremely grateful when he cleaned up the slime issues happening in the mines. You could say that he grew very popular since then and eventually mustered up the courage to greet him a hello whenever he passes by.
• You nudge him to reply back. Xiao usually shoots you a glare but slowly, he learns the courtesy of acknowledging someone's prescence.
• Fall: You woke up to a burnt smell coming from the kitchen. Xiao just thought he would return the favour since you always worked so hard. (He was actually trying to figure out what a 'whisk' was. It was no wonder why there were eggshells in the dish!)
• You realized that Xiao was taking more initation compared to before. At night, when you thought the animals were actively jumping in the barns, the noise was actually from Xiao trying to adjust himself to the ways of tending the field. After learning what TV was, he would always switch to the channel "Livin off the land" to gain some insight. Truly, Xiao was greatful even though he knew he eventually had to return to his duties, he wanted to utilize the current days the best way he could. And what better way was it to just make you happy in return?
• Winter: This was the season to test the accumulation of Xiao's abilities: you caught a cold and he had to manage everything in his own. Xiao scolded you for not wearing enough and being too careless but at the same he considered that you must've been working too hard.
• Goes to Robin for help. She basically became his mom now. Prepares the food and leaves them in the fridge, she teaches Xiao how to use the phone in case he needed any help and also lets him know where all the essentials are.
• Xiao stayed by your side the whole time even though you told him you'd be fine. But he refuses, he may no longer be a gaurdian but he was your gaurdian. That role never changed.
~~x~~
Zhongli
• You wake up on a soft bed with Zhongli sitting at a chair nearby. He hands you a cup of brewed water but you're still blatlantly confused. Seems like everything was taken care of by Zhongli, it ends up with him explaining everything to you.
• The folks instantly assumes you both as a married couple. Who could blame them? He did carry your unconcious body all the way to town while asking for a local doctor. You can bet that the ladies wish they were you at that moment. Zhongli took care of everything, including with the contract with the new farm.
• It didn't take long for you both to adjust to the new lifestyle. Zhongli's accumulated knowledge was enough to last all four seasons. Days past by peacefully as you shared the tasks. He'd place down the stone paths towards the gate and you busied yourself with decorating the house. After that was done, Zhongli would rest upon the rocking chair outside your door (like the grandpa he is) and sometimes you'd join him in one reading session. His voice was soothing, you eventually dipped into a slumber as the evening grew colder. Just like always, your beloved brings his arm to encapsulate you from the wind, brushing his thumb against your skin subconciously while you snore softly into his shoulder.
• In a way, the townsfolk were right. You both do act like a married couple. It's basically domestic life with Zhongli in a nutshell.
• He gets connected with Gunther and lands a role in the Museum. Since he's there so often, Zhongli also manages to be acquainted with Elliot as well. Two men who have a common interest with books while speaking in poetic prose. Their conversation would last for hours to the point Gunther had to kick them out of the library!
• Veeeery good with the children, not in an entertaining way but its just the aura he reeks. Penny usually had trouble dealing with Vincent since he never seems to be able to focus but the minute Zhongli speaks, he's all ears. Not only that he was also very good with the elderly. He even recommended some herbs George could take to soothe his back issues.
• Problem is that he still forgets to bring his wallet and Childe isn't here to save him. So once you stepped foot into the Stardrop Saloon and Gus calls you over, he tells you about the cost he owed to his tab….
• But this tranquil life full of genuinity and deprived of sovereignty, he was overjoyed to be able to spend it with you. Because he knew you were unlike him, that all humans were born with an expiry date. He knew so well that after every new greeting, he would have to face the goodbyes over and over until the world eventually came to an end. He knew you were also going to be part of those many goodbyes while he would still be here.
• But as Zhongli walks amongst the fallen leaves, he remembered the beauty that carries within every new beginning. They brought him to you and he would never hesitate to trade his gnosis for it.
Spring: You shot up your bed when Zhongli blast the TV at full volume. He apologizes, saying that he was simply trying to change the channel. You figured it was best for him to go outside before he somehow glitches the screen until it couldn't repair itself (Robin charges for repairs).
• Every thursday you both go to Pierre's store to complete your grocery shopping. He offers to push the cart as you fill the basket with all the necessities (plus it saves you the trouble of having him tossing whatever he sees without looking at the price tag).
• Every afternoon you order a take out from the Saloon, sharing the meal while sitting at the fountain's edge near the community center. Every evening Zhongli would take you to explore the rest of the vast farmland, discovering places you weren't even aware of. It was no wonder why everyone thought you were a married couple.
• Summer: Since the cabin was too small for a bathroom, you guys would have to travel up the mountains in order to get to the Spa house (cue sweatiness x10).
• The concept of hotsprings was derived from Inazuma so it was no surprise that Liyue eventually took it after him. Zhongli had collected some incense from foraging items over the past few months, he knows whats up. But overall he gives the best bath sessions (hands down) and you were the one who insisted in joining him. He was a gentle and sweet lover, always putting your needs before his. Ancient artifacts and old history books have always been precious to him, he treated you no differently.
The heartbeat of the oceans continues to rock back and forth until they brush up on the sandy shore, washing away the two pairs of footprints left behind by a man and a woman.
Gold against gold, his amber eyes reflected against the scenery. Millions of lights flashed among the sea when the sun began to climb down from the sky, it's rays hugged across the valley like an ethereal glow bestowed by the heavens as summer's wind brought even more warmth than what he had currently felt. You trance ahead of with the same light shaping around your form.
"Oh hey there's another rainbow shell," you waved at him before running off, "I'll be back!"
How is it that you still continue to shine like gold in his memories?
Zhongli suddenly ponders at the chapters laying ahead of him. He spent so many years turning each page without ever reaching a conclusion, forever searching the fabled happy endings written in fairytale books, but he knew his immortality wouldn't grant him that wish.
Thus, the formal archon raised his pen and reweaves his own story. He envisions his future with you by his side, engraving every detail until it was immortalized in his memories.
Perhaps I shouldn't keep her waiting.
With a renewed resolve, Zhongli clutches the gemstone tightly in his palm, he seals the page with the final contract between your future and his.
• Fall: After getting your first house upgrade, it was time for the next event: the ceremony. Yes, Zhongli would only have a wedding if Liyue traditions were involved. Everyone was invited of course, they were quite intrigued with the flashy setup such as lanterns and fireworks (you were a little worried with where he got the budget for such items) and Zhongli even educated Gus about some recipes he can use for the Saloon.
• You found out that Zhongli was saving all his money for this day (it was no wonder that he couldn't pay for his tab!). Old habits die hard, it was a shame that he didn't have his powers to craft the right items, but at least he got to sea you in a traditional eastern dress (it's the part he was looming forward to the most).
• Fall is the best season. One you wouldn't forget.
• Winter: Ah he finally learns how to use technology after three seasons. He only knows two channels from the TV which was 'Livin off the Land' and the weather channel. Zhongli oftens talks to himself as he tries to figure out more mechanics, he seems to be extremely absorbed in the most basic things.
• The miner of the house. But instead of using them to upgrade tools and donating them to the museum, Zhongli likes to keep some of them for collection. You could say your house also had a little museum in the other room.
• Romcom movies and soap operas. You can't change my mind that this is what you both spend your time watching as the snowstorm rages outside.
#genshin impact#stardew valley#genshin impact headcanons#xiao x reader#zhongli x reader#xiao headcanons#zhongli#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact xiao#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact imagines#genshin scenarios#genshin imagines#genshin impact zhongli#genshin xiao#genshin zhongli#nya-writes
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My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?
The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.
~ long post under the cut ~
A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.
Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.
What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?
The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.
Fine, let’s begin.
What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?
No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.
Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE
I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.
And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”
GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.
So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.
And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.
Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.
Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.
I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.
BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH
Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.
He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.
Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN
AND THEN HE
AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN
AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME
AND SHE KEEPS DYING
AND THE MUSIC
AND HIS VOICE
AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED
HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY
AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY
I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*
Apparently, not.
And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?
This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.
Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.
And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.
PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.
Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).
And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.
Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.
And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.
And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.
Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. ��Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.
Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)
Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.
Shmebulock???????????
AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????
The grasp this man is holding on me right now...
Some of you will understand. I’m with you.
And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.
Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL
And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.
Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)
Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.
And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.
I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.
Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY
So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?
Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH
Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR
Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.
I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.
And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)
I can fix him...
This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)
And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK
AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.
Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.
The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.
And this is where my soul left my body.
This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.
This... this was brutal to watch. Really.
What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.
I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW
This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.
Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.
#what if...?#doctor strange#stephen strange#what if doctor strange lost his heart instead of his hands?#wong#christine palmer#the ancient one#long post#review#he did nothing wrong#so what? he destroyed a whole universe#/j#benedict cumberbatch
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Okay so,in the Avatar!Ty Lee AU, does Zuko's crew also defect?
Because I just realized what a political nightmare scenario it would be for Ozai if it got out that BOTH of his kids (and thus, both potential heirs) have defected.
Okay so yes but not quite in the way you think!
So like.
When Zuko is banished, no one really knows anything other than what the Fire Lord decided to tell people. Just that Zuko ‘dishonored the Fire Nation’ and ‘needs to take a journey to learn to respect them’. And maybe there’s kind of a side-eye where people go ‘he’s thirteen what did he do that was so bad?’. But like. Banishment with a chance for redemption sounds very much like ‘you did something fucked up but since you’re the Prince we’re going easy on you’.
So both in Canon and in this AU, at first, no one knows what happened there. Even Azula only knows what she saw at the Agni Kai, not what led up to it in the War Room(though she knows her family’s dynamics enough to think that Zuko couldn’t have done something awful, their father is just ‘overreacting’).
When Zuko is first leaving on his quest to find the Avatar, Azula tells Mai and Ty Lee about it. And Ty Lee, well. She cares about Zuko. He’s a friend. So while she wanted to hide the whole thing about her being the Avatar, turning herself in would help him.
So she sneaks on the ship and Azula and Mai follow.
And like. The three of them, Zuko and Iroh are trying to have a private conversation, but ofc most of the crew on the ship eavesdrops.
When Ty Lee explains the Avatar thing and that she’s turning herself in for him, both Zuko and Azula are immeditely like ‘no, no absolutely not he’ll fucking kill you!’. Because yeah Ty Lee figured that the worst that would happen to her would be that she’s used as a weapon in the war, but Ozai would not risk the Avatar fucking shit up this close to the Comet so just kill her.
And the crew eavesdropping are a little.... freaked out by this. By how scared both siblings sound for their friend. Because remember, Zuko is thirteen, but Azula, Mai and Ty Lee are all 11 at this point. Surely, surely, they’re just overreacting, right?
Then the whole Agni Kai thing gets brought up in the conversation. How Ozai was perfectly fine burning and banishing his 13 year old son. Do you really think he’d show mercy to a random 11 year old who even /might/ be a threat?
And as the conversation turns to the Agni Kai, they hear more of the story from Zuko. About how all he had done was ‘speaking out of turn’. And they’re fuckin horrified at that and no longer wondering if the Fire Lord would kill a child.
At this point, the crew is no longer loyal to the Fire Lord. They may still have loyalties to the Fire Nation as a whole, but not to Ozai himself. They are going to pretend they didn’t hear a thing about the Avatar. Pretend they don’t see Ty Lee bending more than one Element. Pretend that the kids traveling are still on that ‘quest to find the Avatar’ instead of trying to find any remnants of Airbenders to teach Ty Lee that Element.
And. Ya know. These kids need some good parental figures in their lives. Let’s give them that for a while.
Now! Over the next couple years, since the kids are doing more quiet research than ‘storm in demanding answers’ as they travel, they see a lot of things. The kids definitely get treated kinder than the soldiers do in town. And sometimes the crew will accompany the kids in more civilian clothes and, well. Again get treated kinder because people don’t clock them as Fire Nation Military.
Which... leads to everyone beginning to realize a lot of the propaganda. Both the kids and the grown ass adults who have now traveled and seen more of the world and what their own country is doing to it.
This really comes to a head when we get to where Canon starts. When they find Aang and Katara and Sokka and like. How Aang is too trusting because he’s from /before the war/ and is still kind of in denial about the War happening and is just talking on about how things used to be with the various people being in relative harmony so that he had friends all over. Meanwhile Katara and Sokka are only here because they want to protect Aang because they’re sure the Fire Nation will kill him and this is a trap so they’re sticking by him to get him out when shit goes sideways(and ship’s crew thinks back to how they know that yes, the Fire Lord would kill a child if they were a threat. And how maybe things are more fucked. Maybe these kids are right to be distrustful of them.)
The final blow comes at the Southern Air Temple. Very solid, horrific proof of everything the War represents. Of everything the Fire Nation has done. Everything it is trying to do.
The Ship’s crew has officially switched sides.
Now. At first they are 100% ready to ferry around the group as they travel the world to finish this war. They’re down to defect entirely.
This is where Zuko steps up into a leader role and tells them to protect themselves. And even if they are willing to put their lives on the line, protect their families back home first. The Fire Nation has their records, knows who exactly is defecting from the military and going on the run. And how to hurt them for doing so.
Now. The crew agrees with this. But also, they’re not going down without a fight.
So they do go back. When Zuko’s group are making chaos, the crew says ‘they left us so we came back’.
And then, they spend the rest of their time on sabotage and spying. Making sure their families are safe, but slowing down the Fire Nations progress. Some of them get reassigned to places the Gaang are running around and do the ‘what I’m not here at all I didn’t see shit!’ thing.
They also low-key recruit others to be on board. Tell people what they saw really happening out there. Spread the reason why Zuko got banished and why Azula disappeared with him. Tell them that the Avatar isn’t some terrifying Godlike being, but a child. Two children actually but whatever. It’s risky, but a lot of it works. Because the common soldiers are just. Regular ass people who thought they were doing the right thing, and are horrified to learn otherwise.
It’s probably around the Day of the Black Sun where the crew and everyone else they brought over openly switch sides. Some get caught, some get killed, most escape when everything goes bad. But they’re allies to the rest of the world now and can help plan more attacks because they know the weakpoints and the places they sabotaged.
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Happy Accident: Ban x thicc!Reader
Prompt 37 “Wow. That outfit…let me help you out of it.” With Ban
A/N: Okay so I am definitely working on that Bakugo fic BUT I started this one first as a gift for a friend and figured that I would also post it here so that y’all have something to read while I work on the other one! I also have a Toshinori fic that’s finished and I’ll post that either before or after depending on how long it takes me to write the Bakugo one! Anyways this is like the smallest amount of backstory sorry in advance but hopefully you all like it!
Pairing: Ban x Fem!Reader
Warnings: SMUT, pure filth, cursing, light choking, marking (y’all I’m a sucker for the fangs), ummmmm I think that’s it!
Word Count: 4248, she’s kinda long, I’m not good at short works lmao
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You hadn’t planned on joining up with the Seven Deadly Sins, but Elizabeth was your best friend and after everything that had happened you couldn’t even think of letting her go off to Camelot with them alone. Not that you didn’t trust them to keep her safe, you knew Meliodas would die before he let anything happen to her, but still you worried. So against the wishes of your father you had packed your things and joined the Sins on their journey.
It was honestly nice to be around people other than the stuffy royals you were used to. Not that you had anything against your heritage, you just longed for something more…exciting, dangerous, something exhilarating. The Sins ended up being much more interesting than you expected too, and you quickly became friends with Diane. King and Gowther were much more reserved, but they were friendly enough. Of course Meliodas was the life of the party, and always cheerful. Then there was Ban. Charming, sexy, crazy Ban. At almost 7 feet tall he towered over you, and he used that to his advantage when teasing you. He would always catch you at the worst possible moment, caging you between his arms at the bar and leaning down over you like a predator. He loved the way your face would flush every time he got close to you. Truth be told, the man was already head over heels for you though he wasn’t even close to being ready to admit it to you. He may be an overly confident immortal being, but deep down he had a soft spot in his heart that he didn’t necessarily like to show. So for the time being he would be happy enough to flirt with you just to see that pretty blush dust over your cheeks.
You had only been in Camelot for a couple of days thus far but you were beginning to realize that the flowy dresses and skirts you typically wore were going to be a bit impractical for all the running around you were doing with the Sins. So one morning you asked Elizabeth and Diane if they would accompany you into town to do some shopping for new clothes. After a fun filled afternoon with your girlfriends you returned to the Boar Hat to try on one of your new outfits. It was a tad more risqué than anything you would normally wear as a princess, but you figured if Elizabeth could get away with wearing such a skimpy uniform then maybe you could stand to take a few risks too! The leather skirt was a bit shorter than you’d expected, barely hitting past the tops of your thighs and the way it hugged your curves it almost felt like it had been sewn specifically to fit your plush body. The deep red color complimented your skin beautifully, and the matching top fit you just as well. You had to admit that the new outfit did make you a tad bit self-conscious, you’d never shown that much skin before. The top was sleeveless with a deep plunging v-neckline and a corseted back. The small strip of skin showing between the high waisted skirt and top was definitely out of your comfort zone, but you really wanted to try new things, to reinvent yourself. As you stared in the mirror at yourself, fiddling with your hair and mulling over whether or not you should return the outfit you heard the creak of your door being opened and Bans’ voice drifting towards you. Crap! You thought as you whipped towards the door. No way in hell you wanted Ban of all people to see in such a skimpy outfit, at least not in this state, but you were frozen in place as he entered. “Hey y/n the Captain wants us all t-“ he freezes in the doorway, hand still on the knob as he stares at you wide eyed. His eyes rake slowly over your body and you can see the barest hint of red tinting the Fox Sins’ cheeks as he appraises you. Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest and you’re sure he can hear it as he slowly approaches you. “Wow. That outfit…” he lets out a shaky breath, reaching to grasp one of your hands so he can spin you around and get the full view. When you’re facing him again he has a devilish grin on his lips. He brings the hand he’s holding up to his lips while the other snakes around your waist pulling you flush against him. He releases your hand only to place his index finger under your chin, titling your head up to meet his gaze as he leans closer, lips a breath away from your own as he asks, “let me help you out of it, eh?”
At this point he’s so close you don’t even think your heart is beating anymore, you’re sure you must have died and gone to heaven. But he’s still gazing into your eyes with a hunger so carnal you can’t even think straight, so you do the only thing that makes sense to you in the moment. You stretch up on your toes, closing the distance and pressing your lips hotly against his. Ban wasted no time in kissing you back with all the passion he had stored in him. Sure this wasn’t exactly how he had wanted it to go when you two got together at first, but to him this was a sign that he had waited long enough and now he needed to take action. He needed to show you just how beautiful you were to him, even if he didn’t deserve you, even if you didn’t want anything more from him after this, he just needed to feel you.
Your hands slide up the expanse of Bans’ chest, reveling in the contours of muscle. You’ve always admired his strength and how toned his body is but to finally be able to feel it after admiring from a distance for so long was unreal. Your hands continue up over his defined shoulders and his neck, nails scraping over the skin lightly. As your hands weave into his spiky hair, which is rather soft you notice, his tongue comes out to sweep across your bottom lip. At the same time his hands move down, squeezing your ass before gripping your thighs and lifting you up. The motion earns a small gasp from you and he quickly uses that to his advantage, letting his tongue slip past your parted lips to explore your mouth with fervor. Your tongues dance, fighting for dominance while you grip his hair and wrap your legs tightly around his hips. You can already feel how hard he is beneath the leather of his own pants and you roll your hips teasingly against him. Ban groans into your mouth nipping lightly at your kiss swollen bottom lip before moving down to place even more hot kisses on your jaw, working his way to the juncture where it meets your neck; stopping there momentarily to suck harshly, a dark hickey forming immediately. You arch into his touch, moaning softly as he starts sucking another mark below the first.
Ban walks over to your bed with you still wrapped tightly around him and sits on the edge, allowing you to straddle his lap while he continues his assault on your neck. Then you feel the light scrape of his fangs dragging across the sensitive skin of your neck and you draw in a shaky breath, your grip in his blue locks tightening. You feel Ban smirk against your neck before biting ever so gently at your flesh. Your hips roll against his involuntarily while a soft moan escapes your lips. “Harder, please Ban.” You breathe out. Ban can’t help but groan at your words, his cock twitching impatiently beneath his crimson pants. His grip on your hip tightens while his other hand moves up your back pressing you even further against his solid chest. As his fingers undo the ribbon on the back of your corset top you feel his sharp teeth biting down hard on your soft flesh and you cry out at the immense pleasure your body is deriving from the sting of his fangs. A new wave of pleasure ripples through you as Ban runs his tongue over the mark he just made, soothing it before he moves to leave another on your chest just below your collarbone. All the while his skilled fingers are unlacing your top while you grind against him lost in the sensations of his mouth and hands all over your body.
You’re a panting mess above him and Ban can’t help the way he aches for you as he leaves imprints of his sharp teeth all over your neck and chest. His own chest is heaving with desire as he finally undoes the ribbon on your top, pulling away from you so he can rid you of the tight leather garment. He takes in the sight of your generous curves, nearly drooling as his eyes rake appreciatively over your form. His hand cups the back of your head, pulling you into another searing kiss as his other hand travels languidly over the newly exposed flesh. The way his calloused fingers move softly over your skin has chills racing down your spine and heat shooting straight to your core. You know you’re already dripping wet and all he’s done is kiss you. Ban pulls back for a moment, lust blown eyes gazing tenderly into your own as his lips draw up into a soft smile. “You’re so fucking beautiful y/n.” You feel heat creeping into your cheeks at his tender words, but before you can respond his lips are back on your neck trailing soft kisses down to your chest. His hands come up to palm roughly against your breasts, thumbing over your sensitive nipples making them stand at attention for him. You arch into his touch as his lips travel further down before wrapping around one hardened bud, sucking lightly before laving his hot tongue over it. “Ban, please.” Your voice is breathless; you don’t even know what you’re asking for you just need more of him. He pulls off your nipple with a gentle pop before kissing back up your neck, pecking you on lips sweetly. He presses his forehead to your own, gazing intently at you as he speaks. “I love the way my name sounds falling from your lips babygirl. Let’s see if I can make you say it louder, yeah?”
Ban stands briefly before laying the two of you down on the bed, settling himself between your plush thighs. Your skirt has long since been pushed up around your full hips and at this new angle Ban has a perfect view of the black lace beneath it which is now soaked with your arousal. His hands caress your thighs as he stares down at you, drinking in your flushed cheeks and the marks littering your beautiful skin. He leans down to capture your lips in another heated kiss as one hand moves closer to your aching core, just barely grazing over your panties, but it’s enough for him to notice his effect on you. He kisses from your lips to your jaw before stopping right by your ear, nuzzling against you before whispering “fuck princess, you’re that wet already? I’m just getting started.” He licked along the outer shell of your ear before moving down your neck once more, fingers grazing teasingly along your clothed pussy. You’re practically panting at this point, aching for him to touch you more. Ban sits up, removing his jacket and then his pants before crawling back up your body to place a quick kiss to your lips. As he pulls away your eyes rake over his body and you can’t help but stare at the impressive hard on straining against his black boxers. “Like what you see babygirl?” you can only nod, your eyes still glued to his cock. You want to taste him so badly, feel the weight of him on your tongue. It’s as if he can read your mind, his fingers gripping your chin firmly, tilting your head up to look into his crimson eyes, a smirk plastered on his face. “Maybe later princess, right now I wanna devour that pretty little pussy of yours.” Your cheeks flush as he releases your chin, trailing kisses down your torso until he reaches the bunched up material of your skirt. He hooks his fingers in the waistband and pulls your skirt and panties off in one go, tossing them haphazardly to mingle with the other garments littering the floor.
Ban is what you could call a pleasure dom. He gets off on getting his partner off, but man does he love to draw it out, to tease until they’re begging for release. Ban wants nothing more than to have you a dripping, moaning mess for him. To take you higher and higher until the only word that falls from your lips is his name. Which is exactly what he plans to do. Ban settles himself between your thighs, nuzzling against one before trailing kisses, hickies, and love bites from your knee all the way up to your hip bone. He hums against your skin, kissing and licking his way across your lower tummy before treating the other thigh with the same care and attention as the first. You’re whining and panting, hands balled in the sheets as he continues to tease his way up your leg, stopping just before he reaches you center. He marvels at the beautiful sounds you make, like a song made just for his ears. You cry out as his teeth sink into your thigh, feeling yourself drip with even more arousal at the mix of pain and pleasure. Ban was going to be the death of you. Writhing beneath him you pleaded with the fox eyed man, “Ban please, please, I-I need more- ah!” he silenced your begging by running his tongue up your dripping slit, collecting the juices there. He lapped lazily at your folds, enjoying how you cried out for him softly, relishing in the taste of you, all for him and only him. He pulled back for a moment, looking at you with hazy eyes. “You taste so fucking sweet princess, I could lick this pretty pussy all damn day.” You moaned at his words, throwing your head back against the pillows as he continued his ministrations, moving upward to circle his tongue around your sensitive clit. He sucked on it gently and you keened, hands flying to his hair and tugging hard. “Mmmm…” he moaned against you, doubling the pleasure you felt as he continued to suck. His grip on your thighs tightened, spreading them wider as his tongue trailed from your clit back down to your entrance. He teased it for a few moments before plunging his tongue into your wet heat. “Oh fuck, Ban. That feels so good.” Your hips began rolling against his face as he plunged his tongue in and out of your core with abandon. You could feel the coil in your lower belly tightening, you were close. “Ban I –fuck- I’m so c-close, please can I cum?” He smirked against your pussy, such a good girl asking for permission. He removed his tongue from your core, making you whimper until he replaced it with two long fingers, pumping them in and out at an agonizingly slow pace. “Yes princess, cum all over daddys’ fingers.” Ban began to pump his fingers faster, crooking them to hit that spongy spot deep inside you that made you see stars. Your back arched off the bed as your orgasm ripped through you, crying out Bans’ name like it was a prayer. His fingers slowed their pace as you came down from your first release, panting as you tried to clear the fog of pleasure washing over you. Had you ever cum that hard before? If you had you certainly couldn’t remember doing so. Ban removed his fingers from your spasming hole. You looked up in time to see him sucking the last of your release from his fingers, humming in approval as he gazed down at you.
You didn’t even feel Ban get off the bed momentarily to remove his boxers, you were still trying to steady your breathing as you felt him start kissing up your flushed body. His lips found yours and he cradled your face in his hand as you kissed. You could taste yourself on him and it immediately had that coil tightening in your belly again. Your hands found purchase on his broad shoulders, pulling him closer to you. You ground your hips up against him, urging him to keep going, to fill you up and claim you. “Eager are we?” He teased as he placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. Ban lifted up slightly, lining his cock up with your entrance and running the head teasingly along your slit, collecting your arousal to help ease his massive length into your tight heat. “You ready princess?” You nodded up at him, biting your bottom lip before answering out loud. “Yes daddy, please, I want you to fill me up so bad.” He smirked down at you, bracing an arm beside your head. You both let out a loud moan at the feeling of the head pushing in, already stretching you deliciously. Inch by inch Ban eased himself in until he was buried to the hilt, allowing you a moment to adjust before he started a slow pace. His hips rolled languidly against your own, both of you letting out little gasps with every thrust. It was too much, you needed him to go faster. “Ban…” you whimpered in his ear, before taking the lobe between your teeth and tugging gently. “please I need you to go faster, I want you to fucking rail me daddy. Make me cum so hard, please.” Ban growled against your neck before pulling himself up, bracing his hands on the wood of your headboard. His breathing was ragged; cheeks flushed a beautiful red as he stared down at your writhing form beneath him. “Okay princess, but you may want to hold onto something.” He smirked at you before pulling his hips back only to snap them brutally back against yours going even deeper than before. Ban set a brutal pace, fucking into you mercilessly while you cried out beneath him. His hands gripped the headboard so tightly his knuckles were white and there beads of sweat dripping down his neck and chest as he rammed into your pussy over and over again. Your hands clawed at his chest leaving trails of red down the toned muscles. “Fuck princess,” he panted out between thrusts “you feel so fucking good squeezing my cock like that. You like how I fill up that sweet little pussy? I’m gonna make you come so fucking hard you forget your own name babygirl.” His words had you almost over the edge at this point, your body overcome with pleasure and dangling on the edge of release. You were so fucking close. Ban knew you wouldn’t last much longer with the way your walls were fluttering around his cock and honestly he didn’t think he’d last much longer either at this point. He removed one hand from the headboard, bringing it between your bodies to rub harshly against your clit. “Oh fuck! Don’t stop, fuck, I’m gonna cum!” Ban thrust faster into you nearing his own release. “Go ahead princess cum all over daddys’ cock. Fuck!I’m gonna fill your pussy up with my cum, fucking paint your insides and claim you. You’re mine babygirl.” The last part came out closer to a growl and had your orgasm slamming through you so hard your legs started shaking. A strangled cry left your lips as you rode out your high, Ban releasing right along with you. You could feel ropes of his hot cum filling your insides as your walls milked every last drop from his cock. Ban leaned down to nuzzle against your neck, pressing kisses to your flushed skin. You ran your fingers through his hair pulling him in for a soft kiss.
You stayed there for a few moments, both trying to catch your breath as you held each other close. You began planting kisses to Bans’ neck, nails grazing over his back. You felt the taut muscles in his back tense under your touch and suddenly you could also feel his cock, still nestled inside you, twitch and start to get hard again. Ban planted a kiss to your jaw before leaning close to your ear. “Careful princess, you keep that up and you might regret it.” He punctuated his sentence with a nip to your earlobe before trailing more kisses along your jaw. Feeling bold in your post orgasmic bliss an idea popped into your head. Raking your nails more harshly down his back you raised your lips to his own ear tugging gently on the lobe before whispering “Why don’t you make me, daddy?”
In mere seconds you were flipped onto your stomach, Ban grabbing roughly at your hips to pull your ass up into the air, his cock already teasing at your entrance again. Ban leaned his large frame over you, a trail of love bites forming up your back in his wake, before biting harshly at your shoulder. You hissed out a breath at the sensation, pushing your hips back against him, needy and wanting. “You asked for it babygirl.” He growled out as his fingers twisted in your hair pulling your head back and causing your body to arch further underneath him. His other hand had a bruising grip on your hip as he slowly inched his cock back into your slick folds. A loud moan fell from your lips. Fuck, you thought. He was hitting so much deeper from this angle and you immediately felt that familiar warmth growing in the lower region of your body. Ban pulled his hips back only briefly before snapping them forward and setting a brutal pace, rutting into you like his life depended on it. The room was filled with the sounds of both your moans, your skin slapping together, and the sounds of just how wet you were as he pounded his cock into you. You were sure the other Sins could hear everything but at this point you really didn’t care. You were so caught up in the feeling of Ban stretching you, his breath hot on your neck. Ban straightened up, momentarily releasing your hair so he could grip your other hip, doubling his pace as he thrust mercilessly into you. “That’s it princess, you take my cock so fucking well, you’re such a good girl for daddy.” Bans filthy words were emphasized with a sharp smack to your ass, causing you to cry out his name at the intense pleasure. Bans’ hand found its way into your hair again, pulling your body up and flush against his. He moved the hand in your hair around to grip your throat, squeezing just enough to bring you to the precipice of pleasure. “Oh god, Ban please I’m s-so close, fuck!” His other hand snaked around your front and down to your clit, his calloused fingers working your sensitive nub expertly. “Cum all over daddys cock princess, I know you want to, come on cum for me.”
“Fuck!” You cried out as white hot pleasure coursed through your body, blurring your vision with tears from the intensity of your orgasm. Bans’ released followed yours and he slowed his thrusts, working you both through your highs as you came back down to reality. After a few moments of panting and heavy breathing Ban pulled out of you gently, walking to the bathroom to find a rag to clean you both up with. When he returned you were face down on the bed, still trying to catch your breath. He kissed his way up your leg before cleaning up the mess he’d made and tossing the towel somewhere amongst your discarded clothes, he would deal with that in the morning. For now Ban crawled back into the bed, pulling you against his chest so he could wrap you in his arms. You nuzzled your face into his chest, leaving soft kisses along his skin. You were starting to drift towards sleep when you felt Ban grip your chin gently and tilt your face up towards his. “Hey, you know I love you, right?” His eyes were soft as he spoke, and there was a gentle smile on his kiss swollen lips. Your eyes teared up a bit at his words, you had always felt there was something there, you just didn’t want to get your hopes up. Yet here you were, wrapped in the arms of the man you’d grown to love since the Sins came into your life. You leaned up to connect your lips in a deep kiss, smiling softly back at him. “I know,” you whispered as you placed your hand against his cheek. “I love you too Ban.” The two of you fell asleep in your bed that night and every night after, always wrapped in each others arms.
#sds#sdsban#ban x reader#ban smut#sds smut#seven deadly sins#seven deadly sins smut#seven deadly sins ban#undead ban#insert reader#anime#anime fanfic
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The Night We Met
Part One - The Night We Met
Pairing: Javier Peña/ Female Murphy!Reader
Words: 5.3k
Summary: Murphy's sister travels to Colombia after realising Steve might not quite be A-Okay and meets the Javier Peña.
Content Warnings: 18+ Smut-ish (I wouldn’t wanna read it out to my mom), dry humping, dirty talk in Spanish which reader doesn’t understand so does it really count?, gratuitous love of the black shirt from the torture scene.
AO3
MASTERLIST
Author Note: So here is my return to writing! The word count got away from me but I loved every second of it. Always after prompts, so drop me a message on here if you'd like to see anything in particular. If it's in my wheelhouse, you'll definitely see it.
Pedro in the black shirt in this scene is what inspired me to write this, I can’t lie.
If you were brutally honest with yourself, this spur of the moment decision may have been a mistake.
Other people could make these choices and not have that nagging feeling in their gut from the second they booked their fuckin' airline ticket. You had attempted to grab life by its metaphorical horns and go and sort this shit show out by yourself, but after your momentarial bravery was used up, all that was left was a crippling anxiety that threatened to send you into a full scale panic attack if you thought too hard about the fact you were following your big brother to Colombia.
Yes, Colombia. You, a U.S. national with no particular interest in hunting Pablo Escobar, had decided to vacation in sunny, crime ridden Bogotá on a whim.
You were fuckin’ dumb.
Sarcasm aside, you weren’t actually here on vacation, you were going to check on Stevie. Your brother, one of the DEA agents assigned with taking down Escobar.
You’d been worried about him for a few months, it had sounded like he was dealing with heavy shit in South America, you knew that was the job, but he was still your brother.
His calls had gotten less and less frequent until he stopped returning them all together and the only reason you knew he was alive were your pep-talks with your sister-in-law, trying to help her keep her shit together, but hell, you weren’t a therapist or a miracle worker. So when Connie rang asking to stay at your place you had obliged and she had returned to Miami a mere shell of her former self.
After a mammoth amount of prodding over the course of two days you managed to wring the truth out of her, not the nuggets of information she had given you over the phone in hushed whispers during her time in Colombia but the whole messy story; the communist Elisa Alvarez, Steve’s kidnapping and the cold edges your brother was developing.
It was all you could do not to book the tickets there and then, but you held out and supported Connie in the ways Steve couldn't have, taking care of Olivia when you could and just trying your hardest to be there for her. Your presence alone seemed to be enough to help her through the days that followed. A week and a half after her return, you booked your flight to Colombia in secret.
You had to check on Steve.
He hadn’t answered a single one of your many many calls. You packed light and told Connie the morning of, and whilst she didn’t like it, she understood. You supposed that a part of her was relieved to know her husband would have someone in Colombia that wasn't there to kill him.
So here you sat, two hours into your flight to the paradise destination; Bogotá. Your brother's address scrawled on a scrap piece of paper in the one hand and a glass of cheap whiskey in the other. The alcohol did little to to calm your nerves, this was a dangerous place for a cop, let alone a fuckin’ clueless civilian.
When the plane finally touched down, you stood from your seat emptying the last few drops of whiskey which had tried to evade you onto your tongue, you picked up your backpack and queued to leave the plane.
The second you left the aircraft the humidity hit you like a brick wall, it was like all of the fresh air had been sucked out of the atmosphere. On a normal evening you would appreciate such a warm climate, but now the heat meant frustration to your tired brain and it only added to your baseline levels of anxiety as your hairline and upper lip were drenched as you walked through the arrivals gate.
Cards on the table; you didn’t have much of a game plan, you spoke no Spanish and stuck out like a sore thumb. You had the address but no means to get there, you didn’t relish the idea of getting in a taxi as a woman alone in a foreign country, but with little to no other options you went to hail one of the cabs that sat outside the airport.
Your fears turned out to be for naught, well not quite naught as the man had raked his eyes across your body for a large percentage of the trip in his mirror, but he had the good grace not to kidnap or murder you, which for you meant it was a successful journey, how low you had set the bar was just occuring to you.
After paying the gentleman he dropped you outside what appeared to Steve’s apartment building. You take a moment on the pavement to recollect yourself ready for your reunion. Peeling your denim jacket off, you decide instead to wrap it around your waist, tying the sleeves securely. With a harumph, you grab the handle of your suitcase, and drag it behind you. Your success thus far gives you a second wind of determination.
Though apparently dumb luck can only get you so far, because after heaving your suitcase up a flight of stairs and rapping on the door of apartment 20 until your knuckles ached, it began to dawn on you, you had no clue if this was even the right building.
“Fuck.” you mutter to yourself, you should’ve rang Connie or tried Steve again when you landed, but you’d been so single minded in carrying out your plan all common sense had apparently abandoned you. So with a million different scenarios of things you could’ve done better playing out behind your eyes you dragged your suitcase to the small lobby of the building, where the front door stood.
You huffed and dropped onto the bottom step in surrender, not quite sure where to go from here.
Weeks of anxiety and worry finally took their toll on your body as reality set in, and as it did so you couldn’t help but laugh at the sheer stupidity of the situation you’d put yourself in. A light chuckle escaped your body as you held your face in your hands,you rubbed at your eyes as a way of refreshing yourself before sighing and leaning back.
You must have sat with your head in your hands for around three hours before anyone of note arrived, you had received strange looks from residents in their comings and goings as they stepped around you, your expectant looks turned to disappointment when you realised they weren’t Steve. In fairness, you, a gringa sitting on the stairs at 2am, most likely wasn’t a daily occurrence to these homeowners.
By the time he came through the door, your eyes were closed and your head was leant on the bannister, trying to get what little rest you could. Your eyes opened a crack to see a man and a woman enter the building and turn right, the man had his arm around her as he stared at you in confusion, the look was so quick you may have missed it if you blinked, but they were talking in low whispers of Spanish and from the looks of things he didn’t give you a second thought.
So you extended him the same courtesy and shut your eyes once again, you heard the metal jangling of keys going into the lock, the sound of smacking lips and then the door was closed. You figured that was the end of it, instead you heard hurried footsteps coming towards you, your eyes shot open as he rounded the corner.
“Estás bien?” The man questioned. It took you a moment to realise he was talking to you, as you took him in you were struck by your stupidity, how could you have dismissed this man so quickly even in the throes of a mental breakdown. His chocolate brown eyes bore into your own as you realised he was waiting for a response.
“Uh… no hablo... español?” you pretty much asked him, cringing internally at your butchering of the most basic sentence of this gorgeous strangers language, his lips quirked at your mumbles making his mustache raise on one side with his smirk. Now, you’d never been a fan of a mustache, Steve and your father had both taken to styling their facial hair in such a way, and as a rule of thumb they were a big no-no. But my god. This man made that mustache his bitch and that bitch worked for him.
“You’re American?” He questions, smirk dropping along with his eyebrows in confusion as his brain processes the information.
“Oh thank god and Jesus fuckin’ christ above. You’re American!” Your timid nature had given way to pure unadulterated relief. “Stevie, Steve Murphy, he lives in this building, yeah?”
“Yeah… Stevi...Steve lives here- I’m sorry, who the hell are you?” He asks with a puzzled look and a shake of his head, there’s an air of distrust about him for some strange reason.
“I’m Y/N Murphy, I’m his sister.”
“Sister? Mierda... does he know you’re here?”
“Nope,” You pop your P as you shrug at the man before you with false nonchalance. “He’d have to answer the phone to me or Connie to know that now, wouldn’t he?”
“Steve.” The stranger sighed, annoyed.
“Sorry, who are you?” You asked, yourself becoming more bemused by the man by the second.
“I’m Steve’s partner, Javier.” He held out his hand which you were more than happy to take in a shake, his tan hand was soft yet strong as it held your own captive within it. “C’mon in I’ll give him a call, God knows what time he’s planning on getting back.”
“Uh, I don’t want to interrupt…” You mumble, waving your free hand vaguely towards where you knew the woman was waiting for him, making him smirk once again.
You were beginning to think that the sarcastic raise of his mouth was just his default resting face.
“You’re not interrupting anything.”
Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘cause I’d think it to. This is how people die in America, let alone fuckin’ Colombia, but if it's a choice between dying at the hands of a gorgeous man who seems to know your brother or a stray that wonders in through the non-descript lobby door then you’d rather go out with a nice view, even if he did have a girlfriend.
If you had to gamble, you’d say you had a damn good chance of making it out of this apartment alive.
So you nodded and used the hand he hadn’t released yet to pull yourself up into a standing position. He wasn’t particularly tall but he still towered over you, your eyeline gave you a great view past his black shirt which was unbuttoned quite liberally, you assumed that was courtesy of the woman he’d entered with.
“Thank you,” you nodded at him with a genuine smile of relief. He didn’t reply, only grabbed the handle of your pull along suitcase before extending his arm towards his apartment and motioning to wordlessly say, after you.
Now you know how people say when you can feel a stare? You had the sensation before, but as you leaned over to pick up your backpack from the bottom step, you felt his eyes laser focus on your denim clad ass. You turned your head in disbelief and found his eyes still lingered there for a moment before meeting your own. Unbelievable. Part of you was flattered, the other part was bemused that he had a beautiful woman in there waiting and here he was ogling you.
You rolled your eyes, instilled with a new confidence as you turned and walked towards his apartment, you felt his eyes follow your form once more.
Steve’s hot partner was an ass man... Good to know.
...
As it turns out Javier’s girlfriend, or what you we’re starting to think was more of a one night stand, was not happy with the situation at all, you came to this discovery as Javier pointed you to the sofa before beginning arguing with her in hushed Spanish, the beautiful woman huffed and sent a dirty look your way before storming out and slamming the door behind her, with enough power to make it shake in its bearings. You raised your eyebrows at Javier from your seat. He shook his head with a sigh and began lighting up a cigarette, he turned and offered you one.
“No thanks, I quit.”
“Woman with an iron will?”
“Not quite,” You whisper, shaking your head.
He smiles before clearing his throat and moving over to pick up his landline. Javier presses a combination of buttons, before putting it to his ear and blowing the smoke from his lungs. His eyes met yours as the phone rang, he gave you reassuring wink.
“Murphy? … Yeah… you need to get back to your place now... You’ve got a guest.... No … come find out why don’t you?” Sarcasm dripped from his lazy tone, his voice was so smooth. It was like chocolate on gravel, you could listen to him talk for hours, which led your mind down that deep dark hole of what he sounded like during more carnal acts, he’d be a talker, for definite, what with all that confidence and swagger. “‘Kay… I’ll see you soon.”
Shaking your head you centred yourself, it had been a dry patch for you. You needed to calm down and not throw yourself at your brother's partner, even if he just so happened to be the first man you had any interest in to show you attention in months.
“He’s on his way,” He confirmed what you already knew but you liked hearing him speak so you nodded in thanks. An awkward silence filled the air for a few moments, as you two perfect strangers shared one another's company.
“Drink?” He offered pointing at the bottle of whiskey on the counter.
“God, yes.” You all but moaned at the offer. Javier chuckled, and grabbed a second glass from his cupboard, before pouring you both a generous serving. He walked around the back of the sofa, and passed you the glass of liquid gold and took a seat next to you. Close enough to initiate something, but not touching, quite a respectful distance.
Initiate something? God Y/N, get your mind out of the gutter. This poor man had only invited you in because you were his partner's sister and he was doing the decent thing.
“Uh… The television work?” You ask, pointing at the empty screen.
“I didn’t realise you could speak Spanish…” His voice was dripping with false surprise, mocking your earlier attempts at the language, though he reached across and switched the box on with the remote, he began flicking through the channels so quickly he almost gave you a headache.
“Oh yes, I’m very proficient, I just didn’t want to intimidate you earlier. Hola Señor Javier.” You say continuing his ruse. He chuckles at your words, it's a deep warm noise that shakes his entire frame. You were definitely thinking about adding Javier’s voice to your top ten list of favourite sounds.
He flicks through the channels, for a few seconds before sighing and dropping the remote in your lap. Taking your assignment seriously, you sit up, bringing yourself a few inches closer to the man next to you, purely accidentally of course and begin flicking through the channels as Javier had done moments before, though 3am TV scheduling left a lot to be desired.
News, News, Colombian QVC, News, News, Soap opera. Bingo!
“Ah, now we’re talking.” You mumble, eyes stuck on the screen of the Colombian Soap opera playing. The two of you sat in silence once again as you slowly sipped on your drinks watching drama play out.
You watched in silence for around ten minutes, not understanding a single word of what was being said. The scene was on two latino actors sitting in a bedroom. The woman was sat on the bed being confronted by the man in a serious tone.
“What is she saying?” You question narrowing your eyes at the beautiful woman's tone. Javier, who had been watching your reactions the whole time as you got into the awful tv show scrambled as he tried to listen and translate the woman's words.
“Uh… her dads an alcoholic and she’s trying to support her son… that guy didn’t know about the son... I think… she was happy living a double life without the worry and she wants him to forgive her and start over…” Javier translated, giving you the general cliff notes.
“Oh shit,” You gasped at his words, but your attention diverted to the screen where the two had continued their heated argument and began kissing or rather where the man was devouring her neck, “I’m getting vibes that he might be open to forgiving her.”
You chuckled at your own joke, as did Javier. Though this time when his body shook his bare elbow touched your own.
How was he so goddamn warm?
All he was wearing was a black button down shirt. One that looked to be the wrong size it was so tightly fitted- not that you were complaining about the view. My God, were you horny today.
You took a gulp of your drink, trying to refocus for the third or fourth time this evening, trying so desperately to reign in your inner school girl and focus on the television, though that didn’t help as the actors were now eating one anothers faces on a bed. The silence was thick with tension, though that could’ve been entirely on you; one innocent touch of a man's elbow and you’re a blushing mess.
Get a grip Y/N.
The silence dragged on as you pretended to watch the soap opera you had absolutely no understanding of in a futile attempt to ignore the man next to you. You can only imagine what he thought of your levels of focus on the tv, as you stared at the box in the corner of the room like it was the greatest cinematic masterpiece of all time and you were getting ready to write a full-scale analysis on the work of art.
Javier broke the tension in the room by finally asking the question that had been on his lips all evening.
“You came all the way to Colombia... Why?” Javier grabbed a cigarette off of the coffee table, placing his drink where the carton of smokes had been. He lit the stick and waited for your response, honestly, you were thrown. The question had come out of nowhere whilst you were still trying to analyse why exactly this man had such an effect on you when he was doing nothing but being a good host. You hastened to think up a half coherent reply before you just answered truthfully.
“Steve stopped answering the phone, I mean he’s always been shitty at checking in, even when he was in Miami. When he got here we’d have a catch up every week or so, we all know how dangerous it is for you guys over here, so we joked about calling it ‘the alive check’. For the last couple of months, I was checking in with Connie more than Steve but he’d still pick up once every week, without fail. Then four weeks ago the fucker stopped answering my calls all together and Connie showed up on my doorstep with Olivia in tow last week.”
“Look, you coming down here probably makes more problems than it solves, Steve’s a big boy if he doesn’t call to check in, it's probably ‘cause he’s busy... He��s-” Something about Javier’s dismissive tone rubbed you the wrong way, call it sleep deprivation or blame the weeks of stress, but you were tired of being called paranoid. You were not an overbearing mother hen.
“My brother always answers my calls. Or at least he used to. I can’t begin to understand what you guys are going through, but I’m not losing my brother to some piece of shit Colombian drug dealer.”
Javier raised his hands in mock surrender, cigarette still in mouth. “He’s actually more of a drug lord slash narcoterrorist, but-”
“How is he?” You interrupt Javier’s attempt at diffusing the situation with humor, turning to him on the sofa. You rearranged yourself, bringing your leg up so your knee touched his thigh as you gave him your full attention, you plucked the smoke from between his lips and held it between your two fingers as you spoke. “Tell me Steve’s fine. Tell me I’m worrying for nothing and I’ll get back on that plane and leave tomorrow morning."
You take one drag and offer it back to him, he accepts it, deliberately looking you in the eyes as he places the cigarette in his mouth, attaching his lips to where your own had been seconds earlier. He takes it from his mouth and stubs it on an ash tray that rests on the arm of the sofa, his focus is single minded on his task. The pressure in your lower stomach is mounting as you stare at the tanned man before you who is carrying out a menial task that has you more turned on than you’d ever admit.
When the red tip is extinguished thoroughly, taking much longer than you thought it needed to, Javi turns to you, his mahogany eyes have you pinned in your tracks. You found yourself admitting they were gorgeous for the second time this evening, they were the type of brown you could never quite describe, they had so much depth, not quite a chocolate, not quite coffee, they were rich and deep pools. They reminded you of the forest, not the green leaves but the earthy brown, the strong beams of wood that held everything up around it.
Javier's hand emigrated forward slowly, your eyes followed the movement in your peripheral but you didn’t dare look away from the pools of molasses as he reached to grip one hand at your denim thigh, his eyes roamed your face for any sign of this being an unwelcome approach and when he found none his other hand began its climb to rest on your jaw, just below your ear.
You couldn’t say if you moved towards him or if he advanced on you, all you knew was he was on you now as the tips of your noses rubbed against one another.
“Quiero saborearte…” He whispered so lowly you barely even heard it before he leaned in that last inch and captured your lips in a single, chaste kiss. Your lips connected and you realised the heat you had felt from his arms had been nothing. Fire coursed through your veins upon contact, surging through your blood and going south to a pressure that built in your lower stomach.
Your hand shot up to land on his collarbone, before you could even really consider your own actions you pulled apart until your foreheads were the only thing touching. He was intoxicating, you could lose yourself completely in this man, he somehow smelt like cinnamon, whiskey and sweat, a combination you’d never thought would send liquid fire through your central nervous system. You’d give anything to taste him properly, but this was wrong. So so wrong. This was your brother's partner, this was inviting complication to your door, when you were just here to check on Steve. You were here for Steve.
You were here for Steve...
“... This isn’t a good idea.” You all but whisper, closing your eyes. Regret pulses through your veins at your self imposed restraint.
“Never is.” He leaned forward and captured your lips. You didn’t have any fight left in you, exhausted and at wits end you embraced your spiral into stupidity instead and your hands glided across the clammy skin of his neck to grab at his short ink black hair. You wrapped your fingers around it to drag him closer to you, your lips clashed, all teeth at first but you didn’t care as his tongue began to fight against yours for dominance.
He tasted as good as you imagined, he was the right combination of sweet and bitter, with undertones of whiskey and tobacco on his tongue. Your response to his assault on your mouth told him it was go time, Javier pulled you into his lap and his hands lowered to your ass. Your body was flush with his own as your breasts pressed against his chest, you could feel every solid line of his lithe body against your own.
You licked at his honied tongue, before withdrawing and pulling his bottom lip into your mouth and sucking on the soft plush skin. His mustache tickled your upper lip, a sensation you weren’t used to but could so easily grow to love. This made him tighten his grip on your backside in response and he let out a throaty groan at the meat he found there, Javier was definitely an ass man, you felt his bulge pressing against your core as you both began grinding against each other in earnest. You felt like a horny teenager as you grinded on a man you barely knew.
You felt him grip at the bottom of your tank top and begin to lift it, except he stopped, and began to rub patterns on the stomach he exposed. Javier’s mouth descended from your lips to begin to suck and lick at your throat. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at his work as pleasure rippled throught your body. His hands slid the length of your body to grab at your chest, which conforming to every stereotype was heaving, he palmed your breast blindly as his face was still buried in your hair, sucking and kissing along to your ear, before he raised his mouth a mere inch and whispered “Te follaré toda la noche niña.”
He said it with such surety that your body convulsed in on itself without even needing to know what the man above you was saying. You could only hope it was absolutely filthy and profanity ridden, because then at least, the sentiment would be shared. He bit at the lobe of your ear before his hands left your breasts and travelled to the hem of your tank top, getting ready to pull it over your head.
It was strange to say that you remembered your brother was on his way here as a man tried to take your t-shirt off, but that’s just the way it went. You knew if that top came off, dry humping would be the most PG action of the night and if Steve turned up and found you mounted on his partner, he probably wouldn’t be too thrilled.
You couldn’t stop yourself from stroking the man's hair whose face was planted in between your tits as his hips rose against your own pushing his hardened length up against the seams of your jeans, you gasped as he hit that sweet spot. You let out a noise that sounded like a wail. You wanted nothing more than to lie back and let this man have his filthy way with your body. And you know, from the hour you’ve spent with this man it would be phenomenally filthy. The kind of sex that would ruin all men for you, but no. You had to be a good sister. Like a fuckin loser.
Sighing, you threw your body sideways before you could change your mind and ended up on your back. Javier followed you, caging you with his frame as he covered your body with his own. Gripping your face like he was a starving man and you were the only sustenance he’d ever need. It would be so easy to get lost in him, to give in to that magic tongue but you couldn’t let this go any further so you placed a hand on his chest.
Taking your cue he paused his tongues assault on your mouth and stopped, resting his forehead against your own. You were both breathing heavily trying to come back down to reality, his eyes were no longer the chocolate brown you’d been comforted by when you met, but rings of obsidian staring into your soul. You wanted this man, my god you did. But this would make more problems for Steve.
The two of you stayed that way for a while, foreheads and bodies pressed against one another until both of your breathing evened out. The silence dragged, heavy in the air as you two strangers both waited for the other to break it.
“...Is Steve okay?”
“...No... He’s been fuckin’ mess ever since Connie left.” Javier sighed whilst closing his eyes and breathing deep. You raised your hands from his chest, which was difficult as he was crushing his body to yours and cupped his cheek, you joined your lips once more, much like the first kiss. This was sweet and there wasn’t a carnal appetite behind it but rather an understanding.
The loud knock on the front door startles you both as you’d been so wrapped up in one another you’d not heard the steps leading to it. The two of you split apart like a pair of guilty teens caught in the act. You both stared at each other for a second before he nods at you and walks to the front door whilst rearranging his bulge discreetly in his jeans, this was something you pretended not to see as you sat back up right on the sofa. You had only a moment to fix yourself, as you pulled your tank top from where it was hooked by your breasts and ran your fingers through your hair so you didn’t look like you’ve just had the ravaging of a lifetime.
Javier pulled open the door and you clutch your hands into your lap, not quite sure what kind of reception you were about to receive from your brother. You hear the two men greet one another in hushed whispers, you couldn’t make out Steve's voice much until you hear his voice clear as day “...what the hell was so important it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”
You stand from your spot on the sofa and quickly realise the button on your jeans is undone; if you’re honest you don’t even know how he managed to do that without you noticing, even though it's not the time you take a solitary second to commend Javier on his artistry of disrobing a woman. Turning quickly you pull the rivet back through the hole and swing around as Steve crosses the threshold from the hallway.
Steve looks from you, to Javier and then back to you once more in complete surprise. It takes his brain a hot second to process that you’re here in front of him and in Colombia before he rushes you. Clutching you tight and hugging you to his chest. You hear something that sounds suspiciously like a sob leave your brothers chest before he collapses into you. The front door and Javier’s bedroom both in rapid succession, giving you the privacy you knew your brother would need after breaking down like this.
You couldn’t support Steve’s weight with your considerably smaller frame and the two of you fell to the ground as you held your broken brother. His body shook with silent sobs as he buried his face in your shoulder.
You said nothing as you held him and stroked his hair. In that moment you thanked your every instinct that screamed at you to come to Colombia.
This had definitely not been a mistake.
Part Two
#javier pena x reader#javier peña x reader#narcos fic#pedro pascal x reader#I LOVE THE BLACK FUCKING SHIRT#narcos fanfiction#javier peña#murphy!reader
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Meeting and Dating Wade Walker
(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)
(As much as I love the vaccine scene in the movie, I tried my best to make a different “meeting” scenario)
- You and Crybaby meet at school. You’re not exactly a square or a drape, you mainly just keep to yourself which means that you both stand out yet are invisible at the same time.
- That’s the reason Crybaby never really noticed you before: he was more occupied with his gang; and occasionally fighting with the squares, to pay anyone else any mind.
- The thing about Crybaby is that he attaches himself to girls very quickly. He falls hard and fast for a multitude of reasons, all of which one can gather from his past. There’s this hole in his soul that he just keeps failing to fill …but then he sees you.
- You see, there’s this area of the school that only the drapes really go in. It’s the corridor that’s away from everything, where they put all the classrooms for the delinquents and those who don’t do their work.
- But your school doesn’t have separate teachers for every single class so when you need to talk to one of your teachers, you’re forced to go down that hall to do so. So go down there you did, and boy did people stare.
- As you’re walking; and feeling the gazes of people who aren’t too keen on you being there, you can’t help but take notice of the difference in a certain boys stare. While the others are borderline hostile, his is …beckoning, it’s like he’s calling you towards him. But that can’t be true, right?
- You quickly avert your eyes, gulp, and make your way into your teachers second classroom, trying your best to pay him and his gang no mind.
- Well, from then on, Wade Walker has his eyes set on you. You’ll find him watching you, staring from across parking lots, hallways, and lunchrooms. You would have assumed he was looking at something else had his gaze not been so intense and focused. You wondered if he was waiting for you to do something, or if he was giving you a warning; a promise that he was coming towards you soon.
- He finally does so after school one day. Like so many other days, you’d locked eyes as you walked down the front steps of the school. You’d contemplated just going up to him and finally saying hi, but you were brought out of the lure of his eyes by his gang sneering at everyone from beside him.
- That was when he decided to make his move; when he was sure that you liked him but just didn’t have the nerve to let him know yourself. He thought it was sweet; you were cute in a way that most drapes weren’t.
- As I mentioned before: people didn’t pay much attention to you so as you were going to begin your journey home, you got bumped into and subsequently ignored as your things went rocketing towards the ground.
- As you were knelt down, gathering your books, two scuffed up boots came into view and soon enough, Crybaby Walker had leant down and was handing you one in all his ever intense glory.
- You straightened up and took it from him, thanking him and shyly introducing yourself. By that point, the rest of his gang had made their way over and Wade told you his name before introducing the rest of them.
- He asked if you wanted to hang out with them, you told him that you had to get home before your parents worried, causing his gang to “ooo” at you. He didn’t pay them any mind and followed you as you slowly walked, offering you a ride home.
- Figuring that this was your chance, you gave him a smile and accepted, bringing a smile to his face as well. He slung an arm around your shoulder and nodded back at his hot rod, leading you along with him as he walked.
- You ended up in the back of the car, squished between Wanda and both Hatchet-face and Milton; Hatchet being on Milton's lap. Every now and again, you’d lock eyes with Crybaby in the mirror as he made conversation and a small smile would make its way to your face.
- He’d been telling you about the performance he was going to give that night just as he pulled up in front of your house. Right before your mother called you in, you’d leaned down to look through the window, telling him that you’d like to hear him sing sometime before thanking him for the ride and running inside.
- Boy, you should have seen how flustered you had him.
- The two of you have your first date later that day. You said you wanted to see him sing, didn’t you? Well, he rode his way right up to your house and knocked on your door, asking your mother if you were home.
- You peeked out from behind her and smiled at him before he explained that he wanted to take you out. With a little urging, you convinced her to let you go and soon enough you were hopping on his bike and gathering with the drapes to see him perform.
- The two of you share your first kiss that same night. He’d just finished performing and the two of you were stood a little ways from the party by his brand new bike. He’d led you over there and as you were talking and walking, he’d turned for a moment and pressed his lips to yours.
- He paused to see your reaction and when you didn’t react negatively, he gave you a little smirk and kissed you longer. After that, he may or may not have taken you to “makeout point”.
- And thus, you became the king’s queen.
- Crybaby can’t keep his hands off of you; he’s extremely affectionate and touchy with you no matter where you are.
- He’ll usually have one arm around Peppers shoulder and another around your waist/shoulder.
- Him pinching your cheeks, usually after you do or say something that he thinks is cute. Other times, he’ll just do it after you catch him watching you with this fond look on his face.
- Cheek kisses.
- Hard kisses.
- Making out and French kisses. Never done it before? That’s obviously not a problem.
- Being dipped into kisses.
- Him laying his head in your lap or resting his chin on your shoulder; depending on where you are and your stance on getting hair grease on your clothes.
- He usually won’t initiate cuddling himself but he’ll certainly let you snuggle into him and then slowly cuddle back himself. He sort of just doesn’t know how to express that he just wants to hold you so he lets you do it when you want it.
- Orphans have special needs. No matter how much he’ll try to not admit it or how much he doesn’t think that he is, Crybaby is definitely touch starved. He just really needs your affection sometimes so please just be nice to this borderline traumatized boy.
- He calls you a lot of pet names so I’ll just list a few: baby, sugar, little thing, queenie, kitten, honey, and angel, amongst others.
- Compliments. He thinks you’re the greatest and nothing can change his mind.
- Being sung to. Sometimes, he’ll just break out into song; usually love songs and usually with him bringing you into a little dance with him whenever you sort of give a giggle in response.
- Winking, teasing, and flirting. He’s damn good at making you flustered but you can make him just as flustered, just through different means.
- It’s surprisingly easy for you to turn him on; you do it without even meaning to, but at the same time, he still just thinks you’re the sweetest.
- Air kisses; you all know what I’m talking about. Some of the time he does it affectionately, other times he’ll do it sarcastically; all depends on the situation.
- Getting close to his sister and family; you’re always invited to come visit. Ramona probably embarrasses him by talking about what cute grandchildren the two of you would make.
- His friends teasing the two of you.
- Leaning against his car with him and his gang.
- Bridal carrying and getting thrown over his shoulder. He likes the little squeals and giggles that you make when he does it unexpectedly.
- Puppy dog eyes. Wade can convince you to do just about anything and it’s adorably frustrating.
- Having him occasionally check in and make sure you’re okay with things. You can always let him know that you don’t like something and he’ll stop it and/or bring you someplace else.
- Having to put up with Lenora. She’s constantly trying to cause problems between the two of you though her plots rarely ever manage to actually do anything.
- He always tries his best to impress you. His singing, his bike, his personality, his stories, whatever he thinks will interest you, he’ll use.
- I’m not gonna lie, he probably gets your name tattooed on him in one of those stereotypical red hearts.
- Wearing his jacket and/or getting your own shiny leather number.
- He loves being able to show you off and let everyone know that you’re together. He’s very proud of you so expect him to make your relationship obvious to everyone.
- Going to turkey point. Everyone there loves you, even if they don’t outwardly act like it all the time.
- Oftentimes, he’ll just show up at your house or wherever you are unannounced, just to see if you’re not busy and would like to come do something with him. He just likes seeing you, alright?
- Motorcycle rides. The two of you make quite an entrance when you’re arriving at places.
- Laying out under the stars together, though you’re probably more occupied with each other than looking at them.
- Drive-in movies.
- Sneaking out to see him, especially if your parents don't approve of him.
- Washing his car and bike with him. The two of you usually end up having water fight; he’ll occasionally grab you and squeeze you against him before giving you a kiss while you both sit there slightly soaked.
- Standing up for him. He’s all smiles whenever he listens to you tell someone off for talking bad about him.
- It doesn’t matter what it is, any punishment that you may have to receive, he’ll try and take it for you; even if why you’re being punished has nothing to do with him. He just can’t stand the thought of you having to suffer.
- He’s surprisingly well mannered and chivalrous for a drape. It may not be entirely authentic but he can certainly leave a good impression when he has to, like when he’s meeting your parents for instance.
- Even though he’s sort of a delinquent, Crybaby is still really sweet; and handsome, which is why your mother probably just can’t help but like him. He’s rough around the edges and wears ridiculous clothes but he’s nice. Your dad on the other hand....
- Since there’s always at least one girl trying to make it with him, he always reassures you that he doesn’t want anyone but you; and that’s the honest truth. Whenever he shoo’s someone off, he’ll turn to you and make sure you didn’t take their flirting too personal.
- Crybaby gets extremely jealous; especially when it comes to certain people like ex boyfriends or people who are obviously interested in you. He’ll always demand that you leave with him immediately; it’s the way he makes sure that you’ve chosen him and are sticking to your decision.
- He’s incredibly protective of you so expect him to jump to your defense and possibly; most likely, fight people over/for you.
- The two of you don’t really fight all too often; mainly because you understand him enough to know that it usually isn’t you that he’s actually upset with. When you do fight, he’ll usually have a bit of an outburst before calming down and trying his best to explain what’s got him so worked up.
- It’s easy to forgive him; especially when his sister tells you how he’s been moping around all day. He’ll approach you a bit hesitantly and ask if you can talk before telling you that he’s sorry and; usually, giving you a soft kiss on the cheek or forehead.
- Wade certainly isn’t scared of telling you he loves you; especially through song, so you’ll always know that he does.
- Even though it’s no secret that he adores you, he always gets sorta shy after he absentmindedly says things like “when we get married” or “when I have kids”.
#crybaby walker imagine#crybaby walker headcanons#crybaby walker headcanon#crybaby walker imagines#wade walker imagines#wade walker imagine#wade walker headcanons#wade walker headcanon#90s movie headcanon#90s movie imagine#90s movie headcanons#90s movie imagines#crybaby imagine#crybaby imagines#crybaby headcanons#crybaby headcanon
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08.04
It’s The Kingston Legacy’s sixth anniversary, so here’s a throwback post to celebrate! Last month I forced myself to reread the entire legacy, and while I stopped, clicked off the tab, and emitted a soundless scream of pure cringe numerous times (I wish I was kidding)—the past generations are actually not as terrible as I remember. I think enough time has passed for me to detach myself from the childish storytelling and look back in nostalgia.
Thank you to my fellow Wordpress writers who have come along the journey, some for many years now, through every high and low. It’s astounding how much has changed in the legacy from when I was 15, and 21. Follow me down the (very) long memory lane, as I reminiscence about each story and my perspective on them now ❤
Generation 1 — Fern (2015)
To my shock, I found myself genuinely enjoying Fern’s story. I think this was because the first generation was purely me commentating on gameplay, and not trying to write a story (that’s when the cringe began). I was inspired by one of the original stories, Alice and Kev, to make a homeless sim and document her struggle for a better life: Fern, a snobby aspiring writer. Reading this, a huge wave of nostalgia hit me, and it reminded me of how wonderful Sims 3 gameplay is. Although I’m long past it now, there’s real heart and life in the design. I think it speaks about the rich personalities and quirks that I could write a whole life story off it. It was super fun making Fern camp out at Old Pier Beach, stealing from townie picnics and roasting apples on the fire, finding little ways to scrounge money, giving her a makeover in the salon, watching the townie dramas unfold around her. Although she faced homelessness two times and a shitty first husband (yeah, fuck off, Xander), Fern grew into a strong and independent yet sweet and gentle character, in love with the ocean like her great-granddaughter comes to be.
I never actually addressed this, but she (and her love Christopher) passed away in the story between the end of Gen 3 and start of Gen 4. It just felt weird to make it a big deal because they never died in game—still ‘alive’ and well, scattered across different backup saves and the bin.
Generation 2 — Briar (2015)
Briar’s story was strange, because it was half gameplay and half story, which meant that there were things that just did not... make... sense. She was quite an ‘unreliable’ character to follow because of her Insane trait. The plot revolved around her as a fresh detective, investigating supernatural phenomena in Sunset Valley. Her character arc was almost the opposite to her mother’s: a naive, optimistic, silly girl hardening through trauma into a cold and ruthless police chief. Ash’s death was the one moment I felt true sadness in this legacy, because he did really die. Imagine me actually getting emotional over my characters, lmao. Wild.
Also, Max is OP. To this day he is one of the best male characters in my legacy, a healthy and supportive best friend (to husband) in stark contrast to the following generation.
Fallen Angels — Cherry (2016-2019)
Yes. It’s this generation. Square the fuck up, Cherry. I will fight her any day. Old readers will know of my pure hatred for this story. It’s been about two years since it thankfully ended. My verdict now?
It’s not quite as horrifically shitty, Gabriel and Lilith being a lot nicer than I remembered (Gabriel’s only a bit of a dick at the start), but it still has glaring problems, such as the pacing and clumsy handling of sensitive topics. The story would have been far nicer if it focused less on Cherry and Luc’s relationship and their respective issues, more on the found family and her relationship with Gabriel (which was rushed due to me despising the story by that point). During the first chapters, I was cringing spectacularly at the combination of Luc’s initial jackass behaviour and Cherry’s whining. Toxic as FUCK. I had to skip 3.8 and 3.9 entirely. These two (because of my own shameful mistake) tainted the generation in my eyes, and even though all of the characters grew from their toxicity, I can’t really see past that guilt to the better parts of the story.
Jade has been telling me for years that this story isn’t all bad, and upon forcing myself to reread, I can see what you mean. I’m sorry LOL. Something that pleasantly surprised me was the writing quality (just the prose, not the actual story mechanics... lmfao), and Raphael, who made me smile every time he appeared. Every single careless, sarcastic line of his was a banger. The pictures are something else I like, too. Many of them stand up to the best ones in En Pointe—the fiery, gritty, industrial tones of Bridgeport just hits different. The world was rich and immersive, which is missing at the moment in En Pointe because of me being too lazy to build a proper Los Angeles world, but Act III is set in Boroughsburg so I’m excited to get back into the city scenes. 17 year old me wasn’t mature enough to tackle dark themes, but at least the visuals for them were nice, I guess. The atmosphere of the story I really enjoy. It’s just the toxic characters and way-too-angsty moments that ruin the whole thing for me.
En Pointe — Evangeline (2019-)
And here we are now! The early chapters are kinda painful to read because 1) Mako looked so ugly and 2) the dialogue was so clumsy and generic. I sighed in relief when Chapter 5 came around, because it was then both of those aspects really began to improve. Eva’s voice was simple, with her punchy remarks, much less romantic and descriptive than Cherry, so it was interesting to see her voice becoming more complex and layered as I more understood her character. Also, me visibly struggling with the natural lighting and only getting a handle on it 7 chapters later has me shaking my head.
I’m already beginning to identify issues with the story, mostly with character arcs and pacing. It’s a strange combination of fast pacing (spanning half a year in 8 chapters) and Eva becoming surprisingly comfortable with Mako’s touch due to their unusual pas de deux circumstances. It’s curious how real life time actually played into the pacing of the story—because of the slow publishing schedule, less time has passed in the story as real life, so it’s almost as if the time jumps were made up by real life time, making the jumps feel not too strange. Reading consecutively, however, Evako’s relationship growth doesn’t feel slow burn... a little underdeveloped, in a way, despite their lengthy conversations. I think that’s because of Mako being such a reserved and mysterious character, and that I’ve unconsciously come to rely on Tumblr to give more depth to the characters/relationships. Luckily, pretty much everyone who comments on the story also follows me here, so this dual-platform storytelling is okay, I suppose. I want to post more of #Mishako since there just isn’t enough time to explore their bromance in the story!
At the moment I’m not happy with the story, but it’s fine. I’m learning. There’s more than half the story to go, which means plenty of time to reflect upon the issues and improve. I’m really looking forward to Eva and Mako’s character arcs in Act III. At the moment their relationship is based on their natural chemistry and respect for each other, and since they are yet to face trials their bond isn’t super deep, but Evako are still my favourite couple in the legacy thus far, and feel much more real than any character I’ve written before. It’s been very interesting for my aro ass (and being way more logical than emotional) to figure out a dynamic that is actually compelling to me, because most of the time when I look at romance I’m just like 😐🤨 I’m liking it so far but we shall see how everything unfolds, because I have barely any idea what’s going to happen beyond Act II, lmfao.
That’s it for my incredibly long throwback! I hope it was at least nice for the OG readers, and interesting for anyone else who managed to battle through this essay, haha. This family has been an integral part of me growing up, as a person and writer and artist (what I’ve developed in visuals I apply to architecture), learning a great deal of awareness about real life through story research, which is pretty cool now that I think about it. I’m aiming to finish En Pointe by the end of 2022. I’m excited for what unexpected changes are to come!
#wordpress is being annoying like tumblr right now#they're trying to sneakily integrate the new site design into the old#pretty sure a lot of people don't like the new one#why can't i view media by month#now i have to scroll through a million pictures to find old ones#why is it selecting several when i just want to open one pic#fuck youuu#anyway#very busy week#lilaremonn#thesimperiuscurse
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Dear future health professionals and stem professors,
We need a revolution of thought. Only through a renaissance of pure and genuine passion towards medicine and other sciences will we have competent doctors, nurses, other healthcare workers, and teachers. We live in a world where people pursue noble professions for the sake of social and economic advancement. However, we lack individuals who love the process of learning and their career.
I recollect quite a marvelous excerpt written by one of the world’s greatest scientific minds, Albert Einstein. In his book, The World As I see It he writes:
ACADEMIC CHAIRS ARE MANY, but wise and noble teachers are few; lecture rooms are numerous and large, but the number of young people who genuinely thirst for truth and justice is small. Nature scatters her common wares with a lavish hand, but the choice sort she produces but seldom.
We all know that, so why complain? Was it not ever thus and will it not ever thus remain? Certainly, and one must take what nature gives as one finds it. But there is also such a thing as a spirit of the times, an attitude of mind characteristic of a particular generation, which is passed on from individual to individual and gives a society its particular tone. Each of us has to do his little bit towards transforming this spirit of the times.
Compare the spirit which animated the youth in our universities a hundred years ago with that prevailing today. They had faith in the amelioration of human society, respect for every honest opinion, the tolerance for which our classics had lived and fought.
I believe that one of the faults lies within education institutions. Educators rely on testing, textbooks, and detached memorized lectures. Lectures lack passion and another essential factor: the real practice. The theory is important but the practice is necessary to understand the theory. But without passion, nobody will learn to love the material being taught. Ibn Sina is known for being one of the greatest physicians and teachers of Islamic medicine. I am not completely sure whether what I am about to mention is true. But I read that when he lectured theory to the medical students at the Madrassa (University) he would show them how it worked. Besides medical history and theory. He also taught physics, astronomy, philosophy, and mathematics. However, he is also famed for being an excellent teacher duly because he would take his students to test out the theories and practice what they have been taught. If they were learning medical theory, they were taken to the hospital to observe patients and their cases. If they were learning astronomy, they would all gather in the evening to look up at the heavens to look at the constellations. Lastly, his passion for his vocation was the final touch. Educators without the drive cannot teach. Learning is about understanding oneself, others, and the world. Learning evolves our minds and our spirits by making us get in harmony with the universe. I believe this ties in with Aristotle’s famous saying, “The unexamined life is not worth living”. Though my interpretation may be a wee bit off, I translate it as thus; we can gather all textbook knowledge as possible but if we do not put into practice the knowledge learned, what is the point? I yearn and I pine to experience all that I have learned. I want to see why the theory makes sense in reality. I want to conduct experiments. So much potential is being wasted. Biology is the study of life. However, when I took the course, it was so cold to a point that it did not even feel like I was studying the human body but something alien instead. There is also such a rush to memorize material within a couple of weeks because of exams that the material ceases to be interesting and becomes more of an arduous chore instead. Our sense of time-shifted completely after the industrial revolution. Perhaps this is a reason why we feel the need to rush through everything and not take our time to study profoundly.
We need another Scientific Revolution, curious minds thirsting for the acquisition of knowledge and unanswered questions. However, I believe that the leading force behind this is a necessity. I would like to mention an example to illustrate what I mean from a novel I read a while ago called, The Physician by Noah Gordon. A boy from Medieval Europe lost his mother from an unknown disease leaving him orphaned. He then grew up with the necessity to learn what the disease was and how to prevent other similar deaths, so that others do not suffer what he has suffered. He then worked with Barbers (people who performed medical procedures in Medieval Europe). But the medical knowledge these professionals had was not enough to answer his question. Thus, he traveled to Persia where there was a quite renowned and exclusive medical school. He did not have the economic means or previous schooling to attend but he impressed the headmaster with his passion and knowledge. Thus, the headmaster admitted him into the Madrassa. The European boy then invested all his time doing research, dissections and treating patients until he finally found out what ailment caused his mother’s death, side sickness (appendicitis). He figured out a way to treat this illness, removal of the appendix. From his initial necessity which was the driving force for him to pursue a medical career, he became a famous physician and felt that all his suffering and odyssey were worthwhile. The sense of necessity leads to the feeling of passion. It was his love for his mother that made him follow such a journey full of obstacles. I am beginning to apply that to my own life. I want to figure out my necessity which will be the driving force to power through university and medical school without ever feeling burnt out. I want to feel fulfilled. I believe this is what all pre-medical students and teachers should think about. What is your necessity? We are going to be dealing with human life, someone’s mother, father, friend, sister, uncle, lover, husband, or child...It is not something to be taken lightly. I know so many doctors lacking empathy because they went into the medical field with just the intention of being acknowledged as “Doctors” and getting rich. But I feel that even the most apathetic healthcare workers can become great empathetic professionals the moment they realize that something was triggered deep inside them, perhaps a loved one having an unknown disease. This would lead the apathetic doctor to do mass amounts of research to try to find a cure. This feeling becomes a necessity. A necessity to not lose the loved one. A necessity to save lives. Thus, finding passion, purpose, and becoming a better person. Though each person is different, we all share a selfish feeling. Most of the time we do not truly care about other peoples’ suffering until it happens to us. Once we are affected by something, we drive all our time and attention to find a solution or a way to deal with a problem. We become consumed and completely obsessed by it. I regard this as passion. I do not think passion subsides, it lingers on inside us. It is a fire that never burns out. I remember my high school teacher writing in my yearbook:
Remember a few things, BE PATIENT. You are eager and you will accomplish so much. But take your time, you are always rushing. Life is a journey, it is not about the destination. Be picky. You love everything with enthusiasm but enthusiasm can burn out. Find a fire inside yourself that burns for a long time.
-V
We cannot rush our personal legend. I believe it comes to us. It is Maktub (it’s written). But we also have to do something. Imagine you are on a stranded island but you have a machete, a fishing rod, coconuts, a cave for shelter, wood for a fire, an ocean full of fish. Everything required for survival is there, but you simply have to cut open the coconut with the machete, go fishing for food, fire to cook, and warmth. The fish isn’t going to swim right into your hands and the fire will not light itself. We must use our resources and do our bit. The Universe has a lot going on, we must help out a bit.
If you ever think about quitting, try to remember what made you start your odyssey in the first place. I do not know what my necessity is yet but that is okay. I believe it will come to me eventually. So for now, I simply love to romanticize academia. I like to imagine the: earthy tones of the universities archways, cobblestone paths, laboratories with clean Erlenmeyer flasks, beakers, pristine white lab coats, bunsen burner flames changing colors as different salts are added, Bromothymol Blue pen stains, elegant calculations inside a worn leather-bound notebook, formulas scrawled over the blackboard, forgotten cold Irish breakfast tea on the desk, academics discussing theories, applause from a successful experiment, gray rainy days spent inside the lab, Whitman, Hemingway, et Sir Arthur Conon Doyle being read during break, intellectual conversations with professors, chemistry reports being written, molecular models built, volumes of ancient words, fire slowly burning in the stone fireplace, trying to understand, looking at the constellations on a clear night in the astronomy tower, reciting poetry, Tchaikovsky playing whilst completing a long lab report on Lê Chatelier’s theory of Equilibrium, curious minds, sleepless evenings in the library, beautiful anatomical illustrations...Just imagining these things motivate and inspire me to continue my path. Though it may seem superficial, it awakens something inside me. I yearn and I pine to become a Chemistry Romantic.
I want to conclude this letter by saying that pupils and educators keep ideals alive and can change them accordingly as well. We have the power to become excellent professionals or simply exist and do nothing for the human race. But if you plan on becoming a physician or educator, you must find the trigger which brings your passion to life, your necessity. Once you find that, you are guaranteed greatness and fulfillment. However, do not rush. Perfection takes time. A couple of obstacles should not hinder you from persevering. Many will tell you to give up but do not. That is the Universe testing you. Do your best until you master the topic. Once you know better, you are then able to do better.
Regards,
Confessions from a Chemistry Academic
#stem dark academia#dark academia#academia#stem#philosophy#academic universitylife#unilife#chemistry#medicine
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Blue Monday, Chapter Thirteen - Loki x Reader
TW: Mention of the word ‘suicide.’ Not discussed in graphic terms.
Author’s Note: It’s been a long journey! There is still so much more story to tell, so please send me questions or feedback if you liked this chapter!
Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
...
The last day of Amora Freyadottir’s life had begun like... well, almost any other.
Loki had woken up next to you. His Amora.
The pair had risen in synchronization, methodically buckling up armor after armor, sword after shield.
And when you were both ready, you’d descended down the stairs together, one perfect unit, marched down to the castle courtyard, where Odin and several other highly-trained soldiers were assembled. He’d instructed you on the mission-
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to escape the flood of memories that had suddenly fallen into your mind.
"I’m... I’m what?”
“You,” said Mobius. “You’re Amora. You always have been.”
“Loki, I don’t... I don’t understand,” you stammered. “You lied to me, you swore you knew I wasn't her, you swore it-”
“I didn’t,” Loki promises. “You aren’t. These lies are simply a diversion to distract us from Mobius’ misdeeds.”
“Oh, Loki,” said Mobius. “Poor, poor Loki - if only that were true.”
He gestures, and a T.V.A. guard rushes in, restraining you both.
“Our story begins in Asgard, I think,” Mobius spoke, sipping from a tumbler of whiskey that had magically appeared. “Yes, that’s the one. Asgard. You and Loki had just marched off to the battle of Vanaheim... a terrible, terrible battle. Oh, they found you in pieces, Y/N. You died a warrior’s death.”
“Not me,” you said, stubbornly. “Amora did.”
“Yes, well... Loki got kinda despondent after that... not all that surprising, since he obviously loved ya-”
You glanced at Loki. He paled.
“And, well, Loki usually gets what he wants... and he decides he wants you back. Only problem is, he wasn’t sure how to do it. You were about as dead as it gets, sweetheart. So he studies, right? He studies for months and weeks, until he finds the plan that works best for him... that he’s going to reincarnate you.”
“No,” you argue, stubbornly. “No. No, that’s not true, it’s not true, it can’t be-”
“Crazy, right? I thought so, too. But I saw potential, in his failures, cause, the thing was... I’d started to see where things were going, even then.
The Earth was on the verge of nuclear war. The stars, divided by piracy and battle. In the middle of all of it... the two of you. I’d been trying to leave this universe for a long, long time - only problem is, the Watchers have kept me here. Something truly cataclysmic would have had to happen in order to let me destroy it - and, well... this little Romeo and Juliet story was a pretty good disaster-in-the-making, if I do say so myself. I knew if I stoked the fires of it, Loki would find a way to make the universe burn.
Soon enough, our friend Loki here uses a considerable amount of dark magic to reincarnate your soul into that of a mortal. He’d thought... well, I imagined he thought that once you reached a suitable age, about the age you are now, he’d give you your old memories, and find a way to make you immortal again. But you just couldn’t stay away, could you, Loki?”
“What does he mean?” you asked.
“I don’t know,” Loki stammers, and Mobius snaps his fingers - and suddenly, Loki’s eyes glow bright green, and a single tear rolls down his cheek.
“I visited you,” Loki whispers, slowly. “In your dreams, I -”
He paused, removing his glove and resting his palm on your forehead. You couldn’t see everything, not just yet - so many of your memories were still blocked out.
But you saw him. You saw him... throughout your life. Long walks, chess games, dives into swimming pools. He’d appear in your dreams, even. You were never alone.
Never.
“You didn’t have any friends,” Loki said. “And... I didn’t want you to be alone.”
“But if you were there, for everything... why can’t I remember any of it? Why can’t you?”
“Well, you can’t remember much of anything, can you?” said Mobius. “Only... the moments without him. The moments with your father. And, of course... your would-be death. But you never could remember what drove you to make that choice, could you? Only that you did, that cold Monday morning, and that I saved you, and swept you away to a life with us. You have wondered, haven’t you?”
You had.
“That was my work. I needed you to get to a point of desperation, so that the T.V.A. would seem the perfect option for you, so that you’d feel you had nothing else left. The thing was, when I made Loki forget... I kinda altered his memory two years before yours. So I doomed you, you see. I left you for two years, without him. He abandoned you... or, so you thought. And without your protector, well, you were a mess, weren't you?”
You had been.
“And without him to stop you, you made the rashest decision you could. You made an attempt upon your own life - and thus, my plan fell into place.”
“So it’s my fault,” said Loki. “If I’d never visited you... none of it would have happened. You’d never have thought I left you. Mobius never would’ve been able to manipulate us. It’s my fault you... died. Or, almost did.”
This was almost too much for you to comprehend. You were Amora? Loki had known you all your life? His leaving caused your depression, and set Mobius’ plan into motion?
But something more important stood out, too -
You loved Loki.
And he loved you.
Somehow, that had to mean something.
With a growl, you kicked Mobius across the room.
Loki turned to you, and without wasting a moment -
The two of you ran.
“Loki!” you found yourself shouting, tempted to shake him and make him listen to you.
“We can’t just run!”
“Why ever not? I’ve used this strategy - it’s worked for me, many times.”
“Because your last enemy didn’t have access to every timeline in existence! We can’t hide - he’s just gonna follow us there!”
He considered this.
“Fine,” Loki said. “How about this - we’ll fetch some back-up.”
You had to admit, your heart began to pound a little faster about the idea, just imagining the heroes you and Loki could recruit.
Alternate Iron Man. Alternate Black Widow. Perhaps even Thor himself-
“I’m sure me, being me, would be more than willing to help.”
Just like that, all those hopes came crashing down, all at once.
“Uh... what?”
"Well, in this scenario, I can really only trust myself, darling. You of course can understand. We’ll simply locate a variant of me... and enlist their assistance.”
You shrugged, helplessly.
“I... I guess.”
By this point, you figured you were going to die, anyway. You may as well just give in to his flawed logic and see where it would lead you.
“But I’m not dealing with another Lady Loki,” you insist, as Loki started to focus his energy on programming the tesseract with coordinates. “Not again.”
“No, no, of course not... then again, we would have gotten along, had I not possessed something she wanted. So, it seems to me... all I have to do is find a ‘me’ that hasn’t yet lost his Amora.”
“Okay, how do we do that?”
Loki focused on the tesseract.
“There,” he uttered, after a moment. “It’s... it’s programmed. It’ll take us somewhere, I know not where... to me. A me who has a version of Amora with him. That me will have no need for jealousy, and I’m sure I can reason some way to tempt them to aid us-”
“And... we’ll take her with us, too? The other Amora?”
“Jealous already, darling?”
“No,” you said, raising your gun to blast an approaching T.V.A. soldier. “Never.”
He grinned, and takes your hand.
And together, you both disappear into the icy-blue light of the Tesseract.
...
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Evanesce (Giorno Giovanna x Ghost!Fem! Reader)
This was quite a specific request from a nonnie mouse🥺 . This is a bit angsty, I hope I was able to do your request justice my sweet, 💖💕❤️🐞
TW: mentions of death, part 5 spoilers
Word count: 2.1k
The gentle, crisp spring breeze softly rustled the leaves of the tree overhead, dislodging a few, which fell about the handsome young man occupying the bench you had sat on daily for the past 6 months. You weren’t upset or anything like that, you were just a creature of habit and that spot provided the best vantage point of your surroundings.
“Excuse me, are you saving this seat for anyone?” The blonde boy briefly looked up at you, shook his head sharply and returned to what he was reading as you took a seat on the other side of the bench, leaving a respectable distance between the two of you. He furrowed his well-defined brows at the page he was currently perusing and finally resigned, snapping his book shut in one swift motion.
“What are you reading? Well were reading…” he scanned your face pensively before answering.
“Catch 22…”
“Ah, Joseph Heller, I’m familiar,”
“Have you read it?
“No… I haven’t got around to it,” you admit shyly.
“you should, it’s quite brilliant actually,”
“Hmm, damned if you do, damned if you don’t… it’s a metaphor for life really, if you think about it,” you knew that feeling all too well, but that was a story for another day. In the time you had spent there you had learned the young man’s name was Giorno Giovanna, and he when he wasn’t a “freelance cab driver” he went to school a few streets away. You both chatted for what felt like a few moments, but in actuality, was the rest of the afternoon. Alerted by the changing colors of the sky as the day had started turning to dusk he had excused himself to make it back to his dorm before dinner. Watching him walk away, you sat there and wondered how different things might have been had you met him earlier.
Giorno was preoccupied with his thoughts too, wondering where you had come from and why he hadn’t seen you before… he had been to that park enough times, and if you frequented it as much as you claimed to have done so, surely he would have come across you before…
“Giorno, a few of us are going to work on the science project in the rec area after dinner, do you want to join?”
“Oh, Lorenzo, thanks for the offer, but I really need to finish this report tonight, sorry,”
“No sweat, catchya later,” the sprightly boy left Giorno to his own devices pondering silently over the events of the day.
Over the next few weeks, Giorno regularly visited the spot in the hopes of running into you, which he did, and slowly you both had learned so much about each other. Favorite foods, music, books, shows… hopes and aspirations… there was never a dull moment when you were around each other, and he had somehow enabled you to find your smile again, while you were certain you had done the same for him. He grew closer to you, connecting on a different level almost… he found himself wanting to spend more time with you than he could afford to, but your company was just too intoxicating. Savoring each smile, laugh and shy sideward glance, you were altogether too lovely, and too unaware of the effect you had on him. As much as you were unaware of his growing affections, so too was he unaware of yours. Falling in love with his wry smile when he teased you over the silly anecdotes you thought up, and the way in which the wind made his lovely, golden hair dance about in the sunshine, your heart both leapt and stung, lamenting the inopportune timing at which you had encountered your possible savior, but still being thankful that you could experience something as pure as this, nonetheless.
As much as you were happy, you remained unfulfilled, having such a specific set of circumstances during which you could interact with Giorno. In the beginning it was much easier, catching him in his quieter moments, but now, those moments barely ever occurred, each time you made a move to get closer to him, your plans were thwarted by his new groups of friends… allies? Watching him rapidly traversing Italy, cheating death at every turn, despite your yearning, you hoped with everything you had that you would not encounter him in your space between the two realms. You weren’t sure what kind of force kept you bound to earth but you knew the reason was because you had yet to truly experience love before your untimely passing. You found it altogether ridiculous and unfair, so many others with regrets much more intense than your own had encountered and passed you as they were finally able to cross over, so why were you still here?
You had wanted to tell him the truth of your semi-existence on so many occasions, but his sweet smile had forced you keep up the pretense, enjoying for once, the feeling of being a teenager with a crush, whether it was something more than that, you were unable to tell. When you hadn’t seen him for a few afternoons, you decided you needed to look for him, remembering where he had gone to school, you saw him in what looked like the throes of a fight near a white haired man, and something that looked nothing like anything you’ve seen before… was it a wraith? A monster? It seemed like the two men also commanded such apparitions, appearing and disappearing, it seemed, according to their will. Suddenly, you felt like the normal one in this scenario, which was rare for you. You knew that what he was going through was bigger than the both of you, and thus began your journey with them, keeping your distance and trying to provide support from your position in the shadows. One by one, you saw his comrades fall, each time grieving with him. When everything was finally over, you resolved to approach him directly, waiting for an opportune moment in between his duties. For now, though, you frequently visited the spot that held so many happy memories for you, knowing what you needed to do.
During his eight-day mission, in his quieter moments, Giorno had found his thoughts drifting back to you. He knew that you probably were there, at the usual spot, looking for him. he wished he could tell you about what he was doing, but the stakes were too high, there was too much to lose and not enough time to work with, so he made up his mind to find you once everything was over, but for now, he was on a mission that he could not back down from. There were moments during which he could have sworn he saw your silhouette from the corner of eye, smelled the pleasant scent he had come to associate you with, but those moments could not be dwelled on with how much was left to do and the unyielding assault from Passione’s elite.
With the battle being won, and his precious allies laid to rest in the manner they deserved, Giorno’s thoughts returned to you once more. Deciding he had avoided the place enough, he went the rendezvous spot, without any of his guards. He was confident in the ability of his stand to protect him from danger, the requiem arrow safely ensconced in his breast pocket if the need arises for him to use it. Seeing you perched under the tree, you cut a forlorn figure.
“(y/n) …”
“Giorno… oh gosh! I didn’t expect to see you here today…” you were taken aback by the sight of him, looking completely different in his black suit, embodying an entirely unapproachable, otherworldly beauty, but somehow the energy he radiated still felt warm and familiar.
“You’re probably wondering where I’ve been all this time… I’ll explain everything,” he intended to take your hand in his, but you flinched, deepening the grimace on his face.
“Cara, I’m sorry, I know you must be upset with me, as you should be, but if you allow me a chance to explain, you would understand, please…”
“It’s okay Gio… I know everything… please, sit down, there’s something I have to tell you,” with confusion replacing his pained grimace, Giorno sat down and looked at you expectantly.
“I know about everything that happened to you Gio, I was right there. The reason I recoiled from your touch, or never took you up on a coffee date is because I no longer exist in this world… my physical body has already perished Giorno,”
“April fools has already passed (y/n) and Halloween is only in October… either way, it’s still a terrible joke, not funny at all,” Giorno tried in vain to conceal his irritation.
“It’s not a joke Giorno, have you ever wondered why the area becomes deserted when we’re interacting? How I can disappear and reappear in the blink of an eye? I’m already dead… I’ll prove it to you,” in an instant, you had disappeared and the people had magically appeared in the distance. With his eyes locked on those, he suddenly saw them vanish again as you appeared.
“I don’t understand… where are we then?”
“This is the dimension I exist in, half way between the two realms. My soul refuses to pass over, being bound by a regret,”
“What regret? If you’ve been with me this entire time, surely you know my ability, and of the other ghost that inhabits the turtle… there must be something we can do,”
The desperation in his voice hurt you, you knew that he meant well, but you couldn’t allow him to live like this, being bound to someone who didn’t really exist. In the time you had observed him fighting for his life and for those around him you realized that regardless of how much you both would try, nothing would materialize from these interactions, so you made the painful decision to not pursue this any further, regardless of how much it may hurt you both.
“Face it Gio, there’s no way that anything can happen here, and hanging on to this is just going to hurt the both of us…”
“Don’t say it…”
“Giorno, this is going to be the last…”
“Please, (y/n), don’t say it. I already know… it’s just like me though… the first girl I fall in love with turns out to be a ghost… yet another one of my bizarre escapades… (y/n) … you’re glowing,”
You looked down at your hands and body, seeing a warm cerise glow taking over your body, you felt odd, -weightless- as if you would float away… and then you realized what Giorno had said to you. He loved you, actually loved you, and this was your moment of ascension. After all these months, finally, you would get your repose.
“I think it’s time, you’ve given me something precious, something I can’t even begin to return. I’m finally able to rest because of you…”
“Falling in love hey? Usually a declaration like this is supposed to awaken the princess, not send her away…” he said dejectedly, knowing well enough from recent events, that a spirit cannot remain longer than intended regardless of how much you willed it to.
Reaching up to try and cup his cheek as your image grew ever fainter, “Giorno, these past few weeks have allowed me to feel things in death that I couldn’t have even imagined when I was alive. You’re the reason I can finally rest, and I’ll always be thankful to you, I know you’ll be happy and will love again, all your dreams will be realized, I love you Gio,”
With a sorrowful smile, he watched you fading away from his sight, a warm gentle breeze swirling the loosened leaves around him, and just like that you were gone. Being unable to speak after what happened, he just sat for a while to gather his thoughts before returning to his life as the don of Passione.
It has been a few years since your final encounter with Giorno just before your ascension. Over the years you still watched him, this time from your vantage point above him as opposed to lurking beside him. Your spirit was at ease as he grew from strength to strength, realizing his dream, with a resolve that only he possessed. You watched as he matured, confidence growing in leaps and bounds… as he fell in love- again- just like you promised he would. She was perfect for him, the ray of sunshine he needed to compliment his golden soul. You smiled knowingly, the young man whose pure feelings granted respite to your soul, would be just fine, and even though it may have felt as if you had faded away on that fateful day, the memories of you will always live on through him, adding gravity to your existence- ironically, his memories of the beautiful ghost who had captivated him, would serve as evidence that you had lived…
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