#and those situations have the added baggage of ppl being made to feel like an outsider in BOTH cultures which sucks

[repurposedmeatlocker]

Very little people talk about the odd experience of having parents or one parent from a particular country/culture, but you grew up largely disconnected from it.

Like, on one hand, it is a part of you. You might even have the opportunity to visit said country occasionally and see extended family. But on the other hand, your communication is limited because you understand the language only a little bit or not at all. Usual cultural norms you know you should share, you can not connect to. A part of you can't help feeling guilty as if you have purposely allowed something to become lost (even though this isn't actually the case).

[janiedean]

if you ever wrote that rant about grrm making jon his chosen one deconstruction i'd be very happy to read it 👀

hello anon sorry for the lateness but here we go *deep breath*

sssooo, I had once ranted about it though not mentioning the thing I mentioned in those tags so lemme see if I can find the op and like... cp the main argument and amend it bc it was long, but okay so I found it, original anon asked me: why is Jon considered to be one of the most special characters grrm created? Why is he not the typical hero of fantasy books?, my original answer was here if anyone wants to go there but basically lemme just cp the first part making it shorter and then I'm adding:

first thing, the Typical Post-Tolkien Chosen One With A Shitty Life Before He Finds Out He Is Chosen™ character (I’m saying post-tolkien because every fantasy writer in existence who copies tolkien thinks that lotr went like that and instead it didn’t) usually goes through the following steps: his life sucks up until the beginning of the series, his family generally hates him/her or doesn’t appreciate them or abuses them or anyway doesn’t make their life easier and they’ve never known any different, but *something* never quite worked right and they always knew something was missing in their life, they just didn’t know why. suddenly someone who knows they were Chosen™ shows up and tells them that they’re actually Special because of this this and that and they have a quest to go on to save the world or something. our hero/heroine obviously is finally validated and while their quest is hard and full of hardships and maybe they lose a few friends along the way, finding out that they were Chosen gives their life meaning, they usually find love/friends/everything they didn’t have before until they fulfill the Prophecy™ and live more or less happily ever after, possibly after hooking up with the Person Of Their Dreams with whom they had UST up until the last twenty pages of the book. basically: being Chosen™ in regular fantasy novels is a good thing because suddenly you’re special and all the crap you suffered acquires a new meaning and in the end it made your life better.

jon snow is a complete overhaul of about everything in this sense because

instead of having a family who hates him he has a family who actually mostly loves him, and with ned it’s arguably so much that he risks royal treason by keeping him hidden from his *best friend* - sure, there’s cat and peripherally sansa, but his issues stem from the fact that he feels lesser because he’s a bastard (as far as he knows) and it’s a *class* issue, not a *my family hates me* issue not counting catelyn obv but that's what gives him freudian issues more on that in the emended part later

no one actually knows that he’s Chosen™ - like mel could get there and probably will and someone will put two and two together when his parentage comes out in the open, but he doesn’t have a gandalf or mentor who shows him The Way Towards His Quest

so instead of going from ‘my life sucks but I’m going on a quest which is gonna be a+’ he actively chooses to leave a fairly decent situation (a household he knows, siblings who love him - ned actually hoped he’d become robb’s counselor or right hand man or something from what we can gather) because he feels like he has to prove he’s better than his name and goes to the Crappiest Place In Westeros. like idk if people grasp it, but the wall is basically a prison and at the ripe age of fourteen he decides that it’s totally a good and honorable choice (his only choice actually) to go defend the realm in the freezing cold along with a bunch of criminals/derelicts/rejects of society

at which point he makes friends among said rejects and let’s remember that it’s the point where he actually has to do his first an only privilege when donal noye made him go like hey you were brought up with nobles these ppl are here because they stole bread, and that helps making him more into the person he is rn but like your tyopical fantasy hero who has had a shitty life doesn’t usually have to acknowledge that other people might have had it worse

then he goes on the Quest where he finds his first One True Love, and that’s where it turns even worse because usually the quest is where things start to go right for the Hero™, instead for jon they start to go wronger, because first he has to go undercover which pretty much tests most of his belief/code system, he falls in love with a girl he has to betray, half of his friends and his lord commander die along the way, while he’s off doing his thing winterfell gets taken/burned and robb dies when jon openly stated that he also was going to the wall to defend his family and keep them safe (yeaaah worked out real well), when he goes back to the wall he has to fight the people he lived with for months, the woman he loves dies in his arms and he can’t do anything about it and he’s aware it couldn’t have gone any other way, people put defending the wall on him and then put his loyalty in question, when stannis shows up with a legitimization (which is everything he ever wanted) he refuses because he doesn’t want to accidentally steal his siblings’s inheritance (which was what cat was so worried about hahaha) and actively chooses the crappy defending the realm life all over again. also in all this time his being Chosen™ hasn’t manifested or helped him in any way whatsoever - actually all his honor-moral code related baggage is what  moral dilemmas come from that. like, your usual chosen hero™ would always take the right decision and it all turns out good eventually, jon takes the morally right decision and it all turns SOUR eventually

at this point he finally gets elected LC, thanks to his friends also pitching in, which is about the one fantasy hero™ thing that’s happened for now. should be good, yes?

lol no, because he ends up with THAT hellish responsibility at sixteen, since he thinks that he has absolutely to be even better than that now and he has very specific notions about how you should lead and he knows he has to take unpopular decisions/decisions that he doesn’t necessarily like, he ends up either having to send his friends away forreal (sam) or detaching from them (pyp/grenn/the likes) and when as far as he knows he learns that his sister is married to ramsay he can’t do anything about it

never mind that it’s the same situation as when he had to pick the watch or robb in book one - he went there to defend his family and now being there actually prevents him from helping them in person. ops. meanwhile he’s trying to implement a new vision of things which is modern and smart and actually makes sense because why fighting the wildlings when you have ZOMBIES coming. your usual Chosen One™ would get people to approve just because he’s the Chosen One

instead jon gets stabbed to death - okay, that was also because he wanted to go get arya but it was the last straw, people were pissed over the wildlings plan first and foremost

so basically he’s gone through all the Chosen One™ steps but in reverse - he loses his family which did love him instead of finding another one that makes the first pale in comparison, he does find a new one who loves him but has to alienate most of its members for responsibility reasons as a consequence of what should have been the crowning achievement of his life choices (which eventually is NOT one), he falls in love and they don’t drag the UST forever but they never get a chance to be together without small print in between, he chooses the admittedly most masochistic life he could for his family as well and half of them die and he can’t do a thing for the other half, every other mentor-like figure he runs into after ned dies, instead of finding validation he ends up having to isolate himself and on top of everything HE STILL DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE™

so instead of his life going better the more he learns stuff and matures as a person, he gets murdered. by the people he trusts and who were supposed to be his new family. haha?

never mind that when he finds out he’s the Chosen One™ it won’t bring him closure because all he ever wanted was being full stark like his father/siblings and then bam he’s going to find out his father’s actually targaryen and what does that even mean to him?

on top of that being AA will just be a pain because I don’t believe for a second he’s not going to get leftover ptsd and who the hell is gonna help him deal with it? or how is he ever getting over his *brothers* murdering him? and people are going to ask stuff of him all over again and he’s gonna have to go slay a mythical monster and if I know grrm it’s not gonna be fun, pretty or cathartic FOR HIM

on top of that, Chosen Hero™ fulfills the prophecy and gets a realm to rule and everyone lives happily ever after. money is that if jon does get that realm (and I think he is because he has the best claim if he's legitimate and most likely it'll turn out he was on the targ side but ROBB also legitimized him so he has double the legitimization), he’s going to hate every second of it and he’ll take it because a) duty, b) literally no one else is available, and like this guy didn’t want to rule a realm or be a king or anything he just wanted to be a stark, and instead he’s going to have to after all that shit thanks to Magical And Noble Heritage he hadn’t even known he had and probably didn’t even want up to that point because since when jon wanted to be a targ? yeah since never

obviously I hope he manages to be somewhat happy regardless because the alternative is too miserable, but basically being a Chosen Hero™ is what makes jon’s life worse rather than better and the fact that hew went through all the regular self-discovery journey for the fantasy hero list doesn’t mean he’s not flipping that over in his sl. the fact that he stayed a decent person more or less throughout it and that he hasn’t turned into a bitter asshole also doesn’t change the main point XD

tldr: jon snow is not a typical fantasy hero because he deconstructs that trope into tiny little bits same as robb deconstructed the arthurian flawless king hero trope

now ^^^^^ THAT was what I originally wrote for that meta but adding on to what I said in those tags

okay so... there is a certain tendency to also make the chosen one™ special in the sense that he's kind of goals - good looking, rich or set to inherit, gallant, takes the initiative, he's like.. social or anyway immediately makes friends etc and all that jazz which jon... doesn't really fit

like jon is an introvert who immediately makes friends just with outcasts and his siblings also bc he feels like one but he's hardly a social butterfly and charms everyone wherever he walks by

I mean ffs says all that the only person he charmed in that sense is stannis who is the literal only person in charge in the books who is more introvert than him and has worse communication issues and appreciates ppl going straight to the point

on top of that in the book he looks like ned.... and arya looks like ned and ned isn't described as being particularly handsome that was brandon so he's not even like... I mean kit h. is v. pretty and I think he was a good choice for the role and I'll die on the hill that he was born to play that character and he did it well but book!jon doesn't have that kinda pretty face so the concept that he's the HOT alternative to anyone to me is kind of iffy bc he's not

he's shit at social interactions and at PR which is why robb and him would have been a key winning ticket like he has a better idea of the larger picture but robb would have actually made sure ppl didn't turn against them bc he actually was good at that but like he doesn't go around rallying armies in his name does he

the one time he's been with a girl it was ygritte and like he courted her without realizing it and then she had to pursue him and he barely knew wtf to do on top of the fact that they slept with ghost in the middle of them like a sword which..... is.... I mean sleeping with the sword in the middle was a thing to make sure the maiden stayed a maiden and he's the one who is like i CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVEN IF I WANT TO BECAUSE I'M TECHNICALLY SPYING ON THEM like... he's not... gallant-knight coded

never mind that the moment they do the do she basically does everything until he decides to try the oral which I mean... isn't exactly alphadominatingmale out of jon which is not a given with the trope he's supposed to represent like he's not smooth he's not suave he's like WHAT THE FUCK when ygritte tells him he has a pretty face bc most likely no one else told him that and he like... doesn't pursue people like that in general which is also not exactly 100% what that trope usually goes for

we can add that he has a lot of passive-aggressive little shit sarcasm in him that they didn't let him go for in the show but like... usually chosen heroes™ don't think what he thinks about selyse in general

we can also add that he's not automatically above being better than his position like... he doesn't take winterfell bc ygritte is dead but he did think he'd have taken the deal sansa or not if stannis had said he could marry her and not val and if she wasn't dead, he basically went off the rails at the dude he was fighting with thinking about robb telling him that he couldn't be lord of wf because he was a bastard and he's absolutely not in the frame of mind of 'well I was born a bastard who cares it doesn't define me'

he's obsessed to the point of unhealthy with actually being defined by it which is why he was better off with the wildlings aka the only idiots in the realm who don't gaf about that

and that's like... I mean usually if chosen ones™ have parental issues it's like 'you were an orphan and raised by asses who weren't your parents but your parents loved you and you'll find out at some point and you'll be happier for it and make your own family', jon is like... he has the mommy freudian issues of the century bc of how cat treated him, on the other side he's obsessed with living up to ned's/his father's name and he hates that it makes him not-belonging or that he feels like he doesn't even if he does with his siblings, and at the same time when the truth about it comes out he's going to get the cold shower of the century bc like - he's spent all that time thinking BUT DID MY MOTHER WANT ME WHO WAS MY MOTHER and he's going to find out of who it was and how he was born and honestly considering that lyanna most likely did regret running with rhaegar the moment he finds that out and that she died birthing him how is he going to feel? - also he spends his life wanting to live up to his 'father's' name aka ned aka someone known to be honorable to a fault and then it turns out his bio father is... the dude who started that entire rebellion not doing a very honorable thing? - also if jon*erys is a thing idt that he'd take 'I fell in love with my aunt' so nonchalantly as he did in the show tldr: he's never gonna get over his parental issues in a short time and when that particular brick hits him in the face it won't be pretty

like the entire point of jon is that he goes through all the chosenone™ cursus honorum as we'd call it in high school when studying latin but each step that means smth good for the usual chosenone™ to him is something bad, being one is not going to make his life better and throughout the entire thing he does not fit that stereotype when it comes to look, personality, basic traits and familial history and like hell he's going to have the happy ending tied up with the bow - like I think he gets a bittersweet one and eventually goes off with the wildlings bc he belongs there after being jon snow first of his name (bc like hell he's not reclaiming his bastard background at the end of this entire mess I'm eating my hat if he doesn't) after splitting the seven realms and fixing things but that's hardly the neat happy ending the chosenone™ usually gets so that's my two cents

... christ this was long *raises hands*

[kendrixtermina]

Did Pearl even actually want to be monogamous?

Early on it wasn’t clear if Pearl’s feelings were ever recruited or if she got dumped once Greg showed up

Then we get to see that Pearl was apparently never dumped (they all but make out in front of Greg), they were in an open relationship and maybe Pearl didn’t feel like she could say that she wasn’t cool with it. 

One would assume that she wanted things to be exclusive like with Ruby and Sapphire, because thats a common thing for people to want thats one reason why someone would be jealous - because she was super commited and wanted the same in return. 

But even that conclusion could be cast into doubt now - never mind what she told Rose/Pink, she had apparently told herself she was cool with the human boyfriends and you’d have to admit something to yourself before you can complain about that or expect someone else to pick up on that (I mean would it be right for them to insist if you vehemently deny it, like you’re some sort of child?). 

But once Pearl starts sorta moving on and looking for new partners, what she does is to pursue a bunch of casual dates and play the field - and it makes sense that she’d want to explore what she really likes, pursue her own pleasure and relish in her freedom after having been rather repressed in the past and having goten over this toxic idea that she had to completely devote herself to someone. 

But if she wanted to be super commited, that same newfound confidence could also have manifested as telling the potential new people very clearly what it is she wants. (ie, commit, but make her own demands to ensure her needs are met) -and this isn’t even that new for her, either, given the revelation that she had flirty banter with war-era comrades (and certain concept sketches have confirmed that her banter with Bismuth was supposed to come off as flirty) - what we saw in “Last one out of Beach City” was, to an extent, just Pearl sort of recapturing the old fire she used to have. 

Also note that in the mystery girl case, Pearl though she’d failed untill Steven pointed out how she just did a bunch of badass rebellious things (quite similar to how she does not seem to have realized her contribution to her and PD’s defection until Pearl and Sapphire pointed it out, even though it was absolutely a team effort.) Perhaps Pearl felt like she was just “pretending” to be the cool renegade, but like, she still absolutely did all that awesome stuff. She just didn’t realize it was her / value her own actions enough- and this has definitely changed by the end of s5. 

Une underappreciated factoid here is that the “post-war catastrophe” layer comes directly after the “clingy 80s Pearl one”, much like “overly perfectionistic/organized Pearl” came before that one (Amethyst sure mentions that she was less finicky before and that they got along better because of that). If we take it to mean that the control freakery was a compensation for the loss of PD, we must also conclude that the clinginess was a coping mechanism for the horror of having all her friends corrupted or killed and that, perhaps, things were at least somewhat different before - 

Maybe the open relationship was even a totally mutual decision at one point.  

I mean both Pearl and Pink Diamond seem like the types of people for whom an open relationship might actually make good sense IRL. They both seem like they get crushes very easily, Pearl gets pretty attached and acts weak around any Big Stronk Confident Lady, and PD was super impressionable and easily taken with new ideas, people and concepts and also like she was pretty driven by her instincts and desires which is often the type of person for whom monogamy would be very difficult. 

It’s quite possible that this totally worked for them both once upon a time, or at least could have,  if they didn’t let their baggage/dystopian upbringing get the better of them. 

Pearl’s dependency issues have to be seen as something separate from particular relationships. Like she did the same thing with Garnet and Steven later on. It’s just some baggage she has that gets in the way of her relationships, be they romantic platonic or familiar. 

On some level she probably idealizes people because some part of her feels she needs something to cling to, not the other way around. An idealized idol is safer to cling to because you don’t view them as having difficulties of their own, but if you think that way you can’t be mindful of that person’s own weaknesses and struggles (e.g. how Garnet would be pretty hurt over being used for her power especially in the light of all the “fusions are just for power” crap)

Back when she & PD first got together it was a positive & subversive thing that helped them both escape, like, ppl of vastly different ranks would not be allowed to be lovers, the other Pearls we se are more like minions/attendants. (hence the “my Pearl” thing) But while relationships can help they can’t magically solve your personal problems all by themselves either. (As we also see with Ruby and Sapphire) The baggage isn’t a part of it - it’s something that got in the way of it. (especially if you consider PD’s own preexisting baggage of being held to impossible standards - Like, it’s not a good thing to base all your self esteem on someone else, but it’s not fair to your partner either, to put them on a pedestal and expect them to be some sort of messiah. That’s kinda what made Greg so special, that he actually got through to the person beneath the mask and still didn’t run or demand that she disclose everything. Hence why he’s the one character who wasn’t shocked at the reveal. Maybe he didn’t have the name “Pink Diamond” to go with it, but he met the real one. I mean just note how she answers the “home planet” question honestly instead of feeding him her coverstory. )

I mean on some level PD and Pearl very much complemented each other in the sense that Pearl’s resourcefulness and diligence balanced out PD’s naive outlook and tendency not to think things through, while Pink added the necessary boldness to get Pearl to act less repressed. 

But you also have a situation where one person isn’t very perceptive social skills wise and liable to let herself be blinded by wishful thinking, and the other is all passive-aggressive and tiptoey-ey and willing to resort to hostility and manipulation before coming out and saying what’s wrong. Pearl wouldn’t voice her complaints because she’d be afraid to jeopardize this thing she’s using as a crutch for all her issues, and PD would just not realize unless she’s outright told or just act like everything is fine, and wouldn’t call her on bad behavior since she just lets everyone around her do whatever as an overcompensation for her own restrictive upbringing & feels guilty for stranding her own earth (Garnet, who does NOT have those same hangups, does call Pearl on her crap - and to Pearl’s credit, she apologized and worked on it and they became better friends as a result. )

And you also had someone who was super guarded and prefers to have their own space vs someone who desires a lot of closeness and can be sorta clingy. 

It’s not that Pink doesn’t care - whenver she’s outright made aware of some error she made or some injustice she didn’t realize she’s always either super apologetic or does what she can to fix it; There’s multiple scenes where she clearly tries to be considerate even if she doesn’t always succeed. (See when Greg actually tells her what’s bothering him) 

If Pearl’s gonna have an endgame love interest at all (which might not necessarily be the case and even then she’ll probably play it casual for a while before she’d be ready for another big commitment, until she can trust herself not to get over-attached), I’d say that Bismuth would be a pretty good choice since she’s also pretty emotionally open and tends to give people a lot of validation, and like, she clearly just thinks Pearl is very awesome, and they could sorta start it out as a casual thing early on without rushing anything.

[manishbhutada]

Where we Eat – How it affects our Spiritual growth (& why I’m uneasy @ someone’s home)

We know that ‘we are what we eat & that we become what we eat’.. but is it true that we reprogram our spiritual-self based on ‘Where we eat’? Our spiritual progress is in a directly-proportional relation with what, how & where we eat.

Ever since my childhood.. and more so as I grew older.. I have always found it uncomfortable eating at someone else’s home.. even If they were close family or friends.. I was comfortable with the idea of eating at a restaurant occasionally, but eating at other ppl’s home/s always made me nervous. I found myself very uncomfortable visiting ppl’s residences or personal spaces. At any Grahpravesh or functions (as is customary for the host to show the guests their new homes) I would not enter any vacant private rooms or move around the house even with the host in the company (what business do I have there I often wonder).. I would restrict myself to the common public area only. When invited to someone’s place I would feel so awkward.. I would restrict myself to sitting in a living area with my body tugged-in and feeling dysfunctionally awkward of my current situation.. even drinking offered water would be a struggle, let alone eating. Saying this, there would be people places & homes (sometimes completely unknown.. complete strangers) where I would find myself completely at ease.. I could be at a few such homes & locations for ages.. I could spend time with these people (acquaintances or strangers), eat & relish what was offered to me.. I would feel in my own comfort zone… STRANGE.

Then I would wonder why? Why I was so different from my parents, wife, sister or all those spiritual gurus who bless others homes so frequently.. they would be so at ease & I.. so difficult with myself? It was never the grandeur or the humbleness of the hosts home/place or their type of food which made this change in me.. I could be at a palace with the most scrumptious meal & still feel out of place.. or be super comfortable at a very simple home eating dal-chawal with my host.. & vice-versa (although I have never been a dal-chawal person all my life.. the way to my heart is through my stomach.. but what food/cuisine pleases my heart any given day has always been a mystery.. in simple words.. I’m difficult with my food).Was this a problem in me? Was it because I was an introvert & my parents, wife, others extroverts? But again, my grandparents were similar to me.. and I have come to know with time there are so many like me.. so.. nothing is wrong.. I am not strange.. thank god.. but why do I behave this way?

I have solved this puzzle in the past few years but it still very difficult to explain to my hosts why I find it difficult to be at their homes or eat with many observing at a party (even if it’s at my own home).. I don’t even try with 95%.. I don’t have to. Leading an extremely timed lifestyle makes it easy for me – I simply have 10’s of other commitments always,, so that still continues to be my saving grace.. and most hosts know this.

Let me quickly summarize the superficial excuses why many like me don’t eat at random homes & parties: - Veg/Non-veg, egg/egg-less, allergy headaches; - Hygiene & cleanliness; - Mood attitude & behavior of the cook while preparing & serving.. which later alters the mood & behavior of the eating guest; - The devouring of the nourishment from the food with so many hungry eyes gazing (grazing might be the accurate word :)) the food being served.. their thoughts feelings energies all getting attached to the common displayed food which makes a ‘khichdi of the spiritual energy’ of the displayed food once consumed;

Now let me tell you the actual reason why ppl like me find it difficult eating at random hosts & parties… coz of the ‘Puristic nature of our spirituality’.. (not literally, but saying so as I’m lacking a word which can better explain it here).. meaning? Let me explain using the spiritual philosophy of Yoga: Our Sthool Sharir (physical body) connects to our Atma via our Mann Buddhi Chitta ego (Sukshma Sharir – spiritual body). The physical body’s energy requirements are fulfilled by eating food which in turn fulfills the energy requirements of our spiritual self. The food we eat not only provides calorific energy for our physical body but it also keeps spiritual energy markers.. i.e. the process of cooking food preserves or destroys physical energy sources of the cooked food.. whereas the mood of the cook while cooking, the source of food, the thoughts of ppl watching the served cooked food, etc changes the spiritual markers of the food.. in turn changing the way the food energy modulates spiritual patterns of the consumer.

If we introduce too many new things in our daily routine our brain gets confused and eventually gets exhausted & shuts down. Similarly.. spiritual energy derived from the consumed food nourishes the sukshma sharir.. if there is a khichndi of spiritual energies in the consumed food.. the sukshma sharir gets confused.. so a puristic sukshma sharir would waste resources weeding out random unwanted spiritual inputs from the consumed food energy.. its simpler for such puristic spiritual sukshma sharirs to keep the source of their food energy aligned to their own spiritual sukshma sharir energy needs.Why fill the brain with unrequired information? It is very difficult to unlearn what is learnt.. memories & experiences stay long in the brains. Similarly, why take unnecessary baggage of unrequired spiritual experiences of others which may not directly contribute in our own spiritual journey..  it is difficult to clear out unrequired spiritual influences from the sukshma sharir. Why create a mess unnecessary when it can be avoided in the first place.. hai na. Travelling in a lighter vehicle (our sukshma sharir) helps us reach the destination faster and with less fuel burnt.. adding too many ppl & luggage (unrequired spiritual inputs) in the car would slow us down & burn more fuel. Unless of course, you’re a bus (a Guru) with abundant fuel energy and plenty of place for many fellow travelers (lok kalyan). A bus is not always better or worse.. a lighter car can also do the job & vice versa.. it depends on what every vehicles purpose & chosen path is.

Let me give you another analogy: a person with ‘O+ve blood group’ can easily receive blood from anyone.. but someone with a rare ‘AB –ve blood group’ would have problems receiving blood from other blood groups. So certain awakened spiritual beings like Gurus can take the spiritual profile of everyone in their personal stride while in their own spiritual journeys.. and there are others like me who are very ‘Puristic’ in their approach of spiritual growth. Not that one is better than the other.. they are just different. Just like having an ‘O blood group’ would not make someone a better or worse person compared to someone with an ‘AB blood group’..  they both are the same but their needs different.. similarly here as ‘purists’ our spiritual paths & needs a little different..  that’s it. So what makes ppl like me comfortable to eat at our own homes? Family members are bound together by their prarabdhs.. they share similar spiritual traits.. grandparents, parents, siblings, spouse, kids have similar patterns of spiritual consciousness.. they may be on separate individual spiritual journeys but have certain commonalities. Even if not similar, with time our spiritual personalities and needs automatically get adjusted to these differences, our sukshma sharir learns to differentiate as it adjusts to the shared living. Regardless, we may still like eating XYZ cooked by our mothers & ABC cooked by some1 else in the family.. we may prefer sitting with some specific person in our family while having meals.. similar spiritual personality types at that moment in your life journeys you see.

‘Namak ka Rinn utarna’? Why do we take gifts to invited parties.. why do we invite others for lunch/dinner when we were invited by them.. marriages B’D parties functions - why counter invites or gifts? Namak ka Rinn utarna. We want to reciprocate energy exchange for what we consume. Gurus repay this Rinn (debt) by sharing wisdom.. elders by their blessings.. close family & friends with their good wishes.. Mandir Prasad consumption by Dakshina.. restaurant food by paying the charges which the restaurant feels is appropriate for their food services. Eating at appropriate restaurants is OK with me.. and I’m not a hypocrite coz of this.. how? Mom often asks why I’m so fussy with home invitations when I enjoy eating at select restaurants? When eating at a restaurant it is just the physical body energy needs which get taken care off (& the taste buds ).. the complete fee for the food & service charges as decided by the restaurant negates most other energy markers. Regardless, I would be wary eating the same food if other eyes are grazing over my ordered food.. or if the waiter doesn’t seem happy (I try not to argue with the cook or waiter).. it’s not full proof (& I do have my share of misadventures with energy crossfires) but it mostly negates other effects.. regardless.. lesser the better. There’s a reason why restaurant food is not called Prasad and why we don’t pay fees for Mandir Prasad.

Why is it that refusing to accept offered Prasad (which is made with pure bhakti for the divine) is considered ‘paap’? How does eating or not eating Puja Prasad adds or alters our spiritual journeys? So how is eating Prasad different? Why we should accept puja Prasad? Prasad is supposed to be cooked with pure bhakti towards the supreme while cooking.. i.e. the spiritual energy of the cook, the prepared Prasad food & the consumer all are in alignment with the supreme.. all focused to the Ishta Devta.. there is no mix-up of spiritual frequencies.. all 3 energies.. the cook, prepared Prasad food energy & the consumers energies are all in alignment with the ishta devta for whom the Prasad was prepared & offered. Our Sthool sharir (outer body) is doing puja with our Mann Budhi & chitta (sukshma sharir) concentrated on our Ishta Devta. So consuming offered Prasad & digesting to harvest the energy from the Prasad completes the circle of worship to fully benefit in terms of energy quotients. Not accepting the Prasad would make the spiritual benefit of the Puja incomplete for the devotee {As always conditions apply you see.. all this true if Puja & Prasad all done with pure bhakti in the hearts of the hosts & the guests.. if not this is just superficial talk needing no explanation}.

This blog’s getting long.. so let me just add a few random pointers for you to ponder upon (I might cover each of them at length in separate future blogs): - Languages, religion & spirituality get processed in similar ways in our brains. Certain languages derived from certain source codes are more aligned with certain religions & their associated spiritual (or not) patterns. I don’t know much about foreign languages.. but I can tell you that languages from the Indian subcontinent have a similar source code.. they come from the same source.. some still very close in their resemblance to the source & others little away. So, (thinking talking & brain processing with) the Indian sub-continent languages are more suited to the spiritual paths (which we loosely call religions) derived from the womb of the Indian subcontinent. Putting simply.. brain processing in Latin or English would make it difficult to achieve spiritual growth through the ways and processes researched developed & fine-tuned over the centuries in the Indian subcontinent.. it would make it a KHICHDI of sorts for a beginner.

- Our educational backgrounds contribute to our spiritual personalities & vice-versa. Let me give you my own example.. a doctor degree in health matters makes me want to look deep within and explore; my puristic behavior comes from my PhD (mastery & focus on a single area of interest); pursuit of an MBA is reflected in my lateral thinking across spirituality.. multi-cuisine food habits; my interest in learning anything new & different.. a sign of exploring solutions to my spiritual needs by different means.

I take a top-down approach to my spirituality.. I connect to the supreme.. & through the supreme, I get connected to all. My parents& others in my family, spiritual Guru’s.. they take a collective bottom-up approach to spirituality.. i.e. they connect the life-force energy with others.. and in so connect spiritually with the supreme. Next time if you find someone like me behaving interesting at your home or party.. it is not necessary they are acting pricey or high-headed.. it could simply be that their spiritual profile is needing them to be so. Jai Maa Annapurna Devi.

PS: I am glad I have a successor to this puristic lifestyle of mine.. my younger daughter is already showing many similar signs. Just like my mother has had a hard time thanks to my special innate ‘nakhrae’ (as she would often call them).. I’m looking fwd to how my wife deals with these ‘nakhraes’ of our little darling. Perhaps she would read this & it would help.. perhaps all my hosts read this so I don’t have to explain or feel awkward to make them feel awkward coz of my awkwardness at their place. I love all of them.. it’s just that some of us have different spiritual needs.. some of us are highly spiritually attuned.. please understand.. won't you 

[backpackfullofplums]

Little Sister

Summary: Based on this anon request-

Can you write one for me? Tony's baby sister moving to the tower after a nasty break up with an abusive bf and he asks Bucky to help her with some self defense moves? She's super shy and sweet to ppl. They end up dating and tony approves cause he knows Bucky would never hurt her.

Bucky x reader. FLUFF/BRIEF ANGST. Word count: 1,818.

TW: Reference to abusive ex (not super detailed).

A/N: Sorry this took so long, but I kept toying with the ending until I got what I think was the best result. I hope you enjoy it!!!

“Hey everyone, so this is my younger sister Y/N. She’ll be staying in the tower for awhile, so if could all be your usual warm and welcoming, that would be great,” said Tony as he introduced you to the team. They were all sitting around the television in the common room watching a movie.

“I didn’t know you had a younger sister, Stark,” said Sam.

“Yeah, Y/N doesn’t like the spotlight quite like I do,” replied Tony.

“Well, make yourself at home, Y/N. On behalf of everyone, welcome,” said Steve.

“Yeah! It’ll be nice to have another girl around! What brings you here, Y/N?” asked Wanda.

“Well, let’s just say my prior living situation didn’t really work out,” you explained.

“Bad roommate?” asked Clint.

“Yeah, something like that.” You didn’t really want to dump your baggage on everyone the first time you met them. Despite Tony being your older brother, you didn’t really know these people and still wanted to make a decent first impression. After some more hellos and introductions, Tony showed you to your room. It didn’t take you long to unpack, so you decided to just lay on your bed and read for awhile. Much to your surprise, after about an hour there was a quiet knock on your door.

“Come in!” you shouted through the door as you sat up and closed your book. The door opened and in walked Bucky.

“Hi Y/N. I just thought I’d stop by to see if you needed any help unpacking or if you needed any of the furniture moved. I know when I moved in I rearranged pretty much everything,” said Bucky. He emitted a sort of awkward charm that instantly drew you to him.

“Well, I’m done unpacking and I’m actually pretty happy with the furniture layout, but I could use a tour of the tower if you wouldn’t mind showing me around. I’ve only been here a few times. The city is a little busy for me, so usually Tony would come visit me instead of me coming here to see him.”

“Sure! I’d love to show you around. You wanna go now?”

“That would be great!”

Bucky took you through the tower, showing you everything from the garage to the library. Eventually you reached the gym, where you found Steve and Tony sparring.

“Hey, sis! This guy giving you trouble?”

“No, Tony. Bucky’s just giving me a tour. What are you guys up to?”

“Just a little sparring. Gotta keep those skills up or else you lose ‘em,” explained Steve.

“Oh. I wouldn’t know anything about that. I’m more of a yoga gal.”

“Hey! I have an idea! Barnes—how about you give my sister some fighting lessons. You know, like self-defense stuff?” asked Tony.

“Oh Tony, I—“ you began, but your brother cut you off.

“Look, Y/N. You’ve got a whole building full of people here to protect you, but we can’t be around 24/7. You should be prepared, just in case you run into him or something.”

“Wait, who are we talking about?” asked Bucky.

“My ex. The reason I moved here. He had a temper and yelled a lot so I left. It’s been over for a long time, but the last time I moved he found me and left me with a black eye. Tony put him in the hospital for a month—I have such a good big brother. Anyway, Tony brought me here to keep me safe. Maybe some self-defense lessons would be a good precaution though.”

“Well I’d be happy to teach you, Y/N,” said Bucky. You graciously accepted and made plans to meet in the gym the next morning before breakfast.

After your tour, you were pretty tired—moving always seemed so exhausting to you, so you ate a quick dinner in your room and went to bed early. The following morning, you were ready to meet Bucky in the gym for your first training session, but you got lost on the way there. After 20 minutes of wandering around the tower trying to find it, you finally stumbled upon the gym where you found Bucky stretching on the floor.

“Oversleep?” asked Bucky.

“No, I got lost. Maybe I should’ve taken notes yesterday when you showed me around.”

“Do you have your phone on you? I’ll give you my number and then if you get lost you can call or text me. Same goes if you just wanna talk or feel like hanging out.” You handed Bucky your phone and he added his number in. You shot him a quick text so he’d have your number as well, and set your phone down on a shelf by the door.

“Okay, you ready to get started?” asked Bucky.

“Umm, I guess. I don’t really know anything about this stuff though, so you’ll have to start from the beginning if that’s okay.”

“That’s definitely okay. We’ll start with how to throw a punch. Now make a fist for me.” You held up your hand and wrapped your fingers around your thumb.

“Close, but not quite. Is it okay if I touch you?” asked Bucky.

“Umm, yeah. Thanks for asking.” He reached out and grabbed your hand with his, correcting your form.

“You want your thumb on the outside,” said Bucky. Your lesson continued for almost two hours, during which Bucky taught you how to throw a good punch, block a hit, and a couple escape moves, before ending with some light sparring.

“Well, that’s probably enough for today. Wanna grab some breakfast?”

“Sounds good to me,” you replied. The two of you gathered your things and headed up to the kitchen.

Training and breakfast quickly became an everyday routine for you and Bucky, and soon enough that routine also included a mid-morning movie (Bucky was still trying to catch up, after all) and lunch. Depending on the weather, you and Bucky often spend your afternoons going for walks, swims, or staying inside playing board games or video games. You started skipping team dinners because Bucky was taking you to all of his favorite restaurants in the city. You were spending pretty much all of your free time with him, and it didn’t go unnoticed by the team.

“Barnes, can I talk to you for a minute?” you heard Tony ask Bucky in the kitchen. You knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but you couldn’t help it so you hid around the corner and listened in.

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I was chatting with Steve and Nat this morning, and you came up in the course of conversation,” Tony paused, and you couldn’t see him but you were sure Tony was giving Bucky his famous skeptical face. “Specifically, how much time you’re spending with my little sister,” said Tony.

“Well, yeah. Y/N and I are friends and we live in the same building, so obviously we’re gonna spend a lot of time together,” Bucky stammered. You heard him crack his knuckles—something he only did when he was feeling uncomfortable.

“Look, Barnes. I just wanted to let you know I’m okay with you dating my sister if you want to, assuming she’s interested. Nat’s pretty observant, you know, and she’s pretty sure Y/N likes you.”

“’Tasha said that?” asked Bucky.

“Yep. Now, Y/N hasn’t had the easiest go at life, but neither have you, so I guess you’d probably be pretty good for each other. I just wanted to let you know that I approve, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Tony.”

“No problem. Does that mean you’re gonna ask her out?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that the next time I see her, otherwise I’ll chicken out and never do it,” said Bucky with an embarrassed chuckle.

“Good luck, Barnes. Now, I know you’ll be good to her, but as an older brother I feel obligated to tell you that if you break her heart, I’ll break your spine.” Without another word Tony walked out of the kitchen, oblivious to your presence in the hallway. You waited a few seconds, took a deep breath, and walked into the kitchen, knowing Bucky had a very important question for you.

“Hey, Bucky,” you said, trying to sound calm and casual.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me? Wait, do people still do that? Or do they just jump into a relationship? Do you wanna do that? Or do you just wanna go get something to eat? Am I asking a lot of questions? I feel like I’m asking a lot of questions,” said Bucky so quickly you were sure he never took a breath.

“Well, umm, a date seems kinda pointless,” you paused and saw the light drain from Bucky’s eyes as a look of disappointment swept over his face. “Ah! Sorry! I didn’t mean it to sound like I don’t like you, it’s just that we’re practically dating already, if ya think about it. I mean, we go out to dinner, we go to movies, go on hikes, all that kind of stuff,” You flashed Bucky the flirtiest smile you could come up with.

“I never really thought about it that way, but you’re right. Well, do you want to take it to the next level then? You know, be my girlfriend?”

“I’d like that, and don’t worry—I think my brother will be cool with it.”

“Wait, were you…” Bucky trailed off as a confused look grew on his face.

“Listening? No. Overhearing? Yes. I didn’t talk to Tony about us though—that was all him.”

“Overhearing. Convenient,” chuckled Bucky. “Well how about the two of us go overhear some team gossip, because I’m fairly certain Sam is listening in on us right now.” Bucky pointed over to the same spot where you had been hiding. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath to confirm Bucky’s suspicion.

“Sam, if you’re gonna try to be sneaky you really shouldn’t wear so much cologne. If you’re that desperate to smell nice, you should leave the spying to the actual spies!” you yelled, prompting Sam to waltz out of his hiding spot and into the kitchen.

“I can’t give up the cologne—ladies love it. I also can’t wait to tell everyone about this, so I’ve gotta go!” Sam raced out of the kitchen, and neither you nor Bucky bothered chasing him.

“Well, I guess that saves us the trouble of telling everyone we’re dating,” said Bucky.

“For sure, which gives us time to do more interesting things.”

“Like what?” asked Bucky through a grin.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe making out on the library balcony?”

“Good Lord, I knew I should’ve asked you out sooner!” Bucky scooped you up and threw you over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and headed for the elevator, and by the time he pressed the button to go to the library you were both laughing so hard there were tears in your eyes.

If you’d like to read more of my fics, you can find my masterlist here

To make a request, check out request rules