#and this’ll. be even more devastating if it truly does turn out that she was his first love in his previous life 🥲

[thedeathdeelers]

i need a gifset with

“who’s blaming fate? you should blame yourself. no one can stop the roulette wheel that has begun spinning — all that’s left for you are choices”

vs

“you are my fate that i cannot defy”

he’s not blaming fate per se, but he’s making it seem as though he’s just following what fate had in store for him this whole time, what was predetermined, instead of saying what’s really happening — jeong guwon willingly making a choice to follow one of the many paths set out by fate: the one that leads to him straight to dohee, the one where he’s fully fallen for her, and allowing himself to love her with everything that he is

he cannot deny his feelings for her anymore, and he cannot defy the choice he’s choosing to make

fate may have brought them together, but everything they do from there is their own choice.

they’re soulmates, sure, but they chose to be together.

[shawnpetermuffins]

Not Alone (We Were Us iii.)

A/n: this is d r a m a t i c. 

Summary: Shawn finds out.

Warnings: angst, told in two POVs

Word Count: 3.5k

part 1 / part 2

***

Shawn’s POV

“Shawn, hey. It’s great to see you, man.”

“Brashier, I’m so glad you decided to do this tour with us again. I think this is going to be our best one yet. That last one was great, but I want to pull out all the stops with this one.” I clasp and unclasp my hands in front of me on the table.

“Yeah, of course! You just tell me what you’re looking for and I will make sure we get it in the film.”

“Great, yeah.” I fidget in my seat, “But um, before we get into it, I just have to ask��� How – how is she?”

“Shawn, I don’t-”

“Please? I won’t ask about her again. I just want to know if she’s doing okay.”

He nods, “She’s doing good. She’s been staying with me since the breakup.”

I take in a deep breath, “Oh. Well that’s good.”

“Yeah.” Connor clears his throat and looks down, rubbing his hands over his jeans.

“So, the project.” He says, finally breaking the unbearable silence.

“Right, the project. Yes. So, I really liked the behind the scenes stuff you’d got. Like not just the before show rituals, but I liked how you included the band more. I really want to do that again. I want to make sure they’re a huge focus in this thing too. Because you know, they’re giving up more than me to do this. They have wives and kids. You know, a family to look after. I just want to see more of them.”

He nods and bites the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, completely understand. I’ll make sure to get more of them. What else?”

I run my hand through my hair. “Well I also want to focus on the fans. We got so many shots of me and them. Like the In My Blood run through, but I want to see them. They’re reactions. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them and I want to showcase that. Really, truly showcase it.”

He opens his mouth to say something but stops when his phone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket with a puzzled look. “Sorry, I have to take this.”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

I step out of the room and hold the phone to ear. “Honey? Everything okay?”

Honey? Is he dating somebody?

“Tell me what?”

“It’s a girl?” He chokes out. “Oh my god. That’s – god – Mae is gonna be so loved, love.” He sniffles. “Fuck.”

“Is she healthy? Then that’s all I care about.”

I scratch the back of my neck. Is Connor having a baby? Who with? He never mentioned a girlfriend. I straighten up when he walks back into the room, wiping at his eyes.

“Sorry about that. Where were we?”

“You okay, Brash?”

He chuckles, “I’m so good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, y/n’s having a girl.”

I nod, the words only taking a second to register. “Wait, y/n’s what?” I stand from my seat I must have heard him wrong.

“Oh fuck.” He covers his mouth. “Fuck. I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

“Y/n’s pregnant?”

He doesn’t answer and my fists clench in my lap. I want to hit him.

“Are you the father?”

“Shawn-” I don’t let him finish before I’m rushing out of the room and out of the building to my car. “Shawn, stop!”

“Is she pregnant?” I ask again, furious as I yank my car door open.

“Yes,” he says lowly.

I scoff and duck into my car, turning it on and backing out in just seconds. Pregnant. My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. And it’s my videographer’s baby. I want to kill him. I turn on my blinker and merge onto the highway. I know I shouldn’t do this. I know it’s not my place. Not anymore. But I can’t stop myself from doing this. I pull into his driveway before I know it and part of me is completely devastated to see her car here.

I rush out of the car and knock on the front door, a little more forcefully than I would have liked, but it’s too late now. When she doesn’t answer after ten seconds, I knock again, and that’s when Connor pulls into the driveway. I roll my eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Shawn, stop it. I can explain everything okay?”

“I don’t want to hear it from you, Brashier. I want to hear it from her.” I groan, “God dammit. Why isn’t she opening the door?”

“Fuck, okay. I will let you in, but you have calm down, alright? I can’t let you near her like this.”

“Or what? I’m not going to hurt her… You on the other hand. I’m having a hard time not punching you in the face.”

He sighs, “That’s fair, I guess. Just –” He’s cut off by the door unlocking and opening.

“Shawn? What are – what are you doing here?”

She’s wearing a baggy sweater, making it hard for me to see if she’s even showing. I push past her and into the house, Connor right on my heels.

“Shawn,” Connor pleads.

“I – are you?” I let out a deep breath, “Are you pregnant?”

“What?”

“Are. You. Pregnant.”

“Connor, did you-?”

“I’m sorry. It slipped out. You just told me it was a girl, I wasn’t thinking. I was so happy and I just-”

“I told you I was gonna tell him myself.”

“Can somebody fucking tell me something? Are you pregnant?”

She sighs, and scrubs her hands over her perfect, makeup free face. “Yes.” She says finally.

I thread my fingers through my hair with a bitter laugh. “I’m gonna kill you,” I point to Connor, taking long strides to him “You lying, cheating, piece of shit.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Shawn, stop it!” Y/n steps between us, her hand on my chest. I look down at her, “What are you talking about?”

“It’s his, isn’t it?”

“What? Mendes is that-”

“You stop talking!” I say to him. “I want to hear it from her.”

“He’s not the father, dickhead. You are.”

“I am?” My harsh demeanor quickly changes as I look down at her. “We’re – we’re having a baby?”

“I’m having a baby.”

“But it’s mine.”

“Yeah, but we’re not together.”

“So what? You were just going to keep this from me? Have my fucking child and not tell me?”

“I was going to tell you!”

“When? Ten years from now?” When she doesn’t answer, I know that’s what she had planned on doing. “That’s my kid, y/n!”

“I know it is! God, I know she is! But what was I supposed to do, Shawn? We’re broken up. It’s not exactly a casual form of conversation. I didn’t really feel like responding to your album release news with a congratulations and ‘hey you’re gonna be a father.’ Okay?”

“No, not okay. I deserved to know about this whether we’re together or not.”

“I didn’t tell you because you have so much going on. The album, the tour. You can’t exactly handle a pregnant ex-girlfriend too.”

“That doesn’t matter!” I seethe. “You can’t keep it away from me. I’ll fight for custody if I have to.”

“Whoa, hey, Shawn. It’s not gonna come down to that.” Connor says, but we both ignore him.  

She crosses her arms over her chest. “You want to fight? Fine. But think about what that would do to your career. Not only would it be everywhere that I’m having a baby, but now it’s a custody battle? Do you really want your child to be forced into the spotlight before they’re even born?! The media is going to tear you apart. Tear me apart. I didn’t sign up for that. And I absolutely do not want that for my baby.”

Our baby. “We can keep it quiet! The media doesn’t have to know.”

She scoffs, “Yeah because it’s that easy. You’re Shawn fucking Mendes. You don’t have privacy anymore. You can’t keep a whole ass baby a secret. A whole fight for custody? Your family has to know, my family has to know, your team has to know. And no offense to your team, but someone is bound to slip and then all hell will break loose. There is no way to do this quietly with you.”

“What do you want me to do then? Quit? Because I will!” I reach for her waist but she retreats, making her way closer to Connor. I don’t know if she does it consciously, but something in me believes that there’s more going on than just friendship between them.

“And do what? Resent me for ruining your career?”

“Look, I’ll take time away from the spotlight and we’ll figure everything out.”

“You can’t! You go on tour next year!”

“I’ll cancel it! We can fix this. Fix us.” I point from me to her and she looks down with sad eyes.

“There’s no us, bubba. Me being pregnant doesn’t change that. A baby doesn’t mean we’re supposed to get back together. It doesn’t mean that. It can’t mean that.”

“Why not? Maybe this is what we needed? This is what was supposed to happen. What’s supposed to bring us back to what we used to be.”

She shakes her head, “No. I can’t be with you like that. Not anymore.”

“But-”

“I wish things were different, but this is what it is, Shawn.”

I feel like the air is being sucked from lungs just like it was months ago when she first said it. “Come on. Please… just come home with me.” I’m on my knees in front of her, pleading. “We can talk about this. We can figure this out. We can be together or not. I just – I have to be part of this baby’s life. It’s a girl? Let me be in her life.”

She sighs and when she looks at Connor, I know that she’s not doing this alone. But it kills me that she’s not doing this with me. “I don’t want to keep you from her. I’ve never wanted that. But I can’t do this right now. Okay? I can’t fight with you about this anymore.” She squats in front of me and takes my face in her hands. “Just give me time. Give me that.”

“How long is that gonna take?” I ask, locking my fingers in hers.

“I don’t know. But it’ll be soon. I’ll call you.”

I sigh, my eyes closed. “Can I – I know this’ll sound stupid,” I remove my hands from hers and look down at her stomach which is now showing just a little bit in her bunched-up sweater. “Can I feel her?”

She chuckles and it’s a sound I didn’t think I was ever going to hear again. “She’s not moving yet, but yeah.” She stands up and lifts her shirt enough for me to see the small bump. My hands reach for her and I rest my head against her stomach, kissing it once.

“We made that?” I ask in disbelief and I knew it was the wrong thing to say because she pulls her shirt down quickly after the words leave my mouth.

“I think it’d be best if you went home now.”

---

Y/n’s POV

I let out a sigh of relief when he’s finally out the door. But the relief is short lived when Connor opens his mouth.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

I shake my head, “I don’t want to talk about it. I need to go process all of this. And try to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do about him seeing her once she’s born.”

“Let me help you.”

“No, I need to do this alone.” I walk past him but he grabs my hand, keeping me from going any farther. Neither of us move closer.

“Honey, please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t mean for it to come out.”

I stare down at his feet and take in a deep breath. “I know. I shouldn’t have asked you to keep this secret in the first place.”

“Y/n/n, please look at me.” The hand not holding mine slips under my chin and he lifts my head. “Please tell me you’re not mad.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

He frowns, “You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not mad at you. I promise.” I rest my forehead against his. “I’m mad at myself,” I admit. “I put you in a compromising position and I hate that it came to this. And I’m mad at him for coming at you. I’m mad at him for thinking that I would jump in bed with you the second I leave him. He knows we’re not that way. He knows that. And I’m mad that he would think so little of not just me, but you. You’re his friend, you wouldn’t do that.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, Connor. But in any case, why should it be his business if I was with you? How does that affect him?”

He shrugs, “Well, I mean. Right now, I get it. He thinks I’m trying to swoop in and take his place as Mae’s father.”

“But you’re not! You’re just – you’re my best friend. You weren’t about to let me do this by myself.”

“And he’ll understand that. In time. But just like you need that time to process, I think he does too. You’ve known for months, but he just found out he’s gonna be a dad. I think you both need time to figure out what’s best for you and the baby.”

“And what if he thinks the best is us getting back together?”

“You still have a say in that. Look, I know you’re not in love with him anymore. But who’s to say that those feelings won’t come back after this?”

“They won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

I sniffle, “Okay. So what do I do if they come back? Do I just up and leave you? Like you haven’t been here for me through this whole thing?”

“Hey, I’ll still be here. And no matter what you choose. I’m gonna support you one million percent. I’m in your corner for the rest of our lives. Get back with him or don’t. Let him fight for custody or don’t. Develop feelings for me or don’t, because let’s face it, now that you’re living with me, it’ll be kinda hard not to fall in love with me.”

I laugh and hit his arm. “Stop it.”

“I’m just saying,” he chuckles, “I know I have that irresistible charm.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“An idiot that just wants what’s best for his best friend.”

I nod, pulling away from him. “How many times can I say thank you before it becomes redundant?”

“I think we reached that point many years ago.”

I nod, “I’m gonna go to my room. I have a lot to think about.”

“You want me to call in dinner?”

I check the time on my phone. “It’s still early.”

“I know, just thinking ahead.”

“Yeah. Just not Chinese? I can’t handle the smell.”

“Right, the egg rolls got you last time. I’ve got it.”

“I love you, Connor,” I say and kiss his cheek.

He smiles softly, “I love you too.”

---

“This view is probably my favorite thing in the world,” I tell Shawn, staring out the large window of his living room.

“You’re my favorite view,” he mumbles into my neck, his hands slipping under my shirt.

I roll my eyes, “So cheesy, Mendes.”

“I can’t help it. You make me soft.”

“That is definitely not what you were saying last night,” I tease.

“Hey,” he warns, pinching my side. “You weren’t complaining then.”

“Well, how could I?”

He presses a soft kiss to my temple and then rests his chin on my shoulder. He stares out the window with me, watching the rain hit the ground and rooftops and awnings. “Love?” he says after a short while of silence.

“Hmm?”

“Would it be too scary to talk about the future right now?”

“What about it?”

“Like our future?” he says, his voice timid.

I turn in his arms, “What about our future, rockstar?”

“Do you see us having one?”

I run my fingers over his high cheekbones. “That’s a silly question. Of course, I do.”

“Like getting married? And having kids?”

I nod, “Yeah, those would be some of things I think about.”

“How many?”

“Kids?”

He nods, running his thumb lazily over my hip.

I think it over for a second. “Two. And if those are really good, maybe three. What about you?”

“I don’t care how many we have. As long as I have them with you.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I can’t help but laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“That’s a pretty good answer there.”

“What about getting married?”

“That is something I would like to do,” I answer nonchalantly.

“Me too. But I mean, I guess the real question is: would you take my last name?”

“Absolutely. I mean, just listen to how cute y/n Mendes sounds. I would be a fool not to take it. And you said it yourself, don’t be a fool.”

He laughs, one of those big, hearty laughs that I never get tired of hearing. “Are you always gonna use my lyrics against me?”

“Forever, baby.”

“Hey, so I know that having kids is a very distant thing right now. But we can practice, right?”

I bite my bottom lip, nodding. “I think practicing is a good idea.”

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” Connor comes into view, kneeling by my bedside.

I take in a shuddery breath, and place my hand over his, hoping for the contact to offer me some type of relief, but it doesn’t. I just let out a choked sob and he springs from his spot, wrapping his arms around me the best he can without crushing me and Mae.

“Breathe for me, honey. Come on, in and out. In. One, two, three. And out. One, two, three, four, five.” I do as he instructs and he rubs soothing circles over my back. “Good, again.”

“Connor,” I say softly after I’ve finally centered myself.

“I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?”

“Be a parent. Co-parent with Shawn.”

“Why?” he asks, but it isn’t accusatory like I’m expecting it to be.

“We talked about kids. Wanting them, raising them. Our kids were gonna have two parents. Two loving parents. We were supposed to do this together. We were supposed to be together, raising her, and now? Now what?”

“You’re still gonna do this. And he’s gonna be part of Mae’s life. You’re gonna love her. He’s gonna love her. I’m gonna love her. This child will not be short on love, okay? You should not feel guilty because you’re not with him.”

“I can’t do this alone. I’m not enough for her.”

“You are not doing this alone, y/n. I’m right here. Shawn’s right there. You aren’t alone in this. I would never let that happen.”

I whimper, falling into his chest. “I’m scared I’ve messed everything up before it’s even happened.”

“You didn’t mess anything up.”

“I should have told him.”

“He knows now.”

“If Shawn fights for custody-”

“If he fights, then let him.”

“But his career. This’ll be everywhere. Every single news outlet will be down his throat. It’s not fair, or right. He can’t do this quietly because of who he is and it’s not fair to him.”

Connor chuckles and I pull back. “Why are you laughing? I’m serious.”

“I know you are. That’s why I can’t help it. You’re not worried about him bringing this to court, you’re worried about what people will think of him. That’s… the most you thing you’ve ever said. He’s not worried about any of that. Why are you?”

“Because he worked hard for what he has. I don’t want anyone thinking less of him because his ex-girlfriend is pregnant. They could spin it around, saying he walked out on us. And if they find out about it and he doesn’t fight, I don’t want them to think he doesn’t care. That he’s doing nothing. I don’t want this to be a bigger deal than it needs to be. He’s had to put up with so much of his life being in the media. He doesn’t need this out there too.”

He sighs and takes the sides of my face before pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. “You’re precious, y/n y/l/n.”

“Connor, stop.”

“No, I’m serious. You could be so selfish in a time like this and you’re not. You’re worried about your ex-boyfriend because you don’t want anyone to think less of him.”

I scoff and bring my hand to my lips, biting subconsciously at my nails (A habit that I thought I had kicked years ago), “Why does it suddenly feel like I’m falling headfirst from a thirty-story building.”

He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I’ve got you now, honey. I won’t let you fall.” He stays with me until I fall asleep, murmuring soft nothings into my hair. “You’re gonna be a great mother, y/n. I know you are,” he says quietly.

“Con?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you help me with something.”

“Anything. What is it?”

“Help me figure out this custody thing. I want something fair without the court.”

He places a soft kiss to my forehead, “Okay. Whatever you want.”

***

Thank you for reading! Like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

Permanent tag: @soyalimoncada-blog @tinycertain @magcon7280 @daisyangei @devilmendes @babybrash @fallinallincurls @sunrisebrashx @sinceweremutual @myyohmyuohmyy @perfectly-mendess @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @baroness-alison @lostinmendess @linanilssonfurberg @luvluvxx @mariamuses @shawnieeboyy @divinginfearlessly @mendesficsxbombay @shawnsthighs

Shawn tag: @ilumxna

We were us: @gangofhoes

*Bold wouldn’t let me tag!

** if you want to be added to or removed from any of my taglists (Shawn, Connor, Were Were Us, general) just let me know!

[echoes-of-the-clockwork]

Book Three: Pestilence (Ignis x Reader) Chapter Twenty-Two

Famine and Pestilence stood beside one another as they admired the view from the overlook in Lestallum. Their hands were connected, fingers intwined together. The golden-haired girl looked toward her sister once feeling a familiar tug on her body. "Are you ready, Pestilence?"

(Y/n) nodded. "Yes, let's depart."

Famine gripped her hand tighter as she teleported to where the blonde was. While teleportation was usually a quick and easy thing to do for the Horsemen, this time it was slow and difficult. It took them about ten seconds to teleport and when they arrived in Cartanica, Famine was exhausted. She threw herself against the railing with a huff. "Okay, that's the only time I'm teleporting two people..."

"Our teleportation was only meant for one, not two," Pestilence chortled. "Though I do appreciate what you've done for me, Famine."

"Of course!" She giggled. "We're sister after all! I'd do anything for any of you."

"Hey!" A bubbly voice suddenly shouted.

The Horsemen turned around and saw Noctis, Prompto, Gladio, and Ignis step off the train. The sharpshooter bounded over and stopped in front of the two girls. When seeing Pestilence, he examined her. "We were all worried about you, (Y/n)!"

Said girl hushed the boy, not wishing for Ignis to know she was here just yet. "I've missed you all, as well, but I beg of you: keep your voice down."

Prompto blinked in confusion. "Why?"

"You four will be descending into the quarry, correct? I would abhor distracting Ignis with my presence in his current state. I shall be here when you've finished tending to the royal tomb," she whispered.

"A-Are you sure?" He inquired. "Iggy's been really depressed lately and I think if he knows you're here, it would definitely brighten his mood."

(Y/n) looked toward the advisor as Gladio escorted him over to a bench and sat him down, leaning the cane against the railing. "Yes." She then looked toward her sister. "Could you accompany them, Famine?"

"You've read my mind, Sis," the emerald-eyed girl winked. "You don't mind, do you, Prompto?"

"N-Not at all!" Prompto cheerfully replied, his cheeks slightly red. "I'm gonna go tell Noct!"

Famine followed the blonde while (Y/n) remained where she stood. Her (e/c) eyes traveled over to Ignis and she gasped when she saw he pulled out her summoning orb. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she walked down the loading platform to get closer to him but was extra careful not to get too close in fear he would sense her presence.

A faint breeze blew across the land, whipping through the girl's ivory locks and carrying her scent. She combed a few stray strands behind her ear, looking away from Ignis and staring at the ground. When she looked back up after a few seconds, her eyes widened in bafflement when seeing he was looking directly at her. She knew his eyesight was gone, but she could tell he was looking straight at her.

"(Y/n)," Ignis called out as he stood up from the bench, leaving his cane behind as he slowly made his way over toward her.

Pestilence clamped a hand over her mouth to prevent herself from calling out to him. She took a few steps back as he approached. Her footfalls were silent and she headed in a different direction, but what shocked her the most was how he was able to follow her even after changing her course.

Ignis suddenly stopped his approach when detecting her actions. "I know not of your retreat, but I pray it's not due to my appearance, darling."

(Y/n) was flattered and shocked by the term of endearment. She lowered her hand away from her mouth so she could speak. "Your appearance does not frighten me, Ignis. How... How did you know it was me?"

He smiled faintly at the question. "The scent of mock oranges-a fragrance I've come to relish in our time together."

"I see..." She murmured emotionlessly. She placed a hand over her chest, turning her back to him. "You will be accompanying the others down to the quarry shortly. I will not be joining you, but I shall wait here for your return. There's something I have for you."

Wordlessly, Ignis closed the distance between him and (Y/n). Because of her scent, he was able to walk straight toward her. When he felt her presence a few inches away, he outstretched his hand and managed to place it on her forearm. His gloved hand gravitated downward until he found her hand. He grabbed it and spun her around before wrapping both arms around her small frame, pulling her flush against his body. He cradled her head against his chest while his other arm remained secured around her waist. He nuzzled his cheek against her hair, inhaling her scent. "Truly an enticing scent."

The Horseman felt herself beginning to blush at his words. "I-Ignis..."

"I vow to do all in my power to prevent what happened at the altar to reoccur," he declared. "Your absence at my side was a tragedy I by no means desire to endure once more. I beg of you, remain at my side. Although a guilty request, I implore you to reflect on it."

(Y/n) giggled at his words. "There's nothing to think about. Did you forget of what I spoke of with Ardyn upon the altar?" She pressed her cheek against his chest, listening to his soothing heartbeat. "By no means shall I betray you. I plan to walk alongside you for as long as you'll allow me."

"I would have it no other way, (Y/n)," he replied, stroking her snowy locks.

Suddenly, the couple had to part ways when Prompto called Ignis over to the elevator. With help from the blonde, he grabbed his cane and followed Noctis, Gladio, and Famine to the elevator. She waved at the group, but Noctis and Gladio had yet to notice her presence. Famine and Prompto were the only ones to wave back. Of course, Ignis had no clue of her gesture and was unable to wave back as he stepped onto the lift. She watched the elevator descend into the quarry before deciding to sit on a nearby bench to rest. She closed her eyes after staring up at the sky for a few minutes, forcing herself to sleep for a while.

<----------<<<<<

"Hey, wake up," someone hissed.

Pestilence opened her eyes and saw War standing in front of her. "What a pleasant way to be awoken."

The redhead rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "I'm only here because King Aeshema told me to check in on you."

(Y/n) stared into her sister's azure eyes. A smile appeared on her face as she stood up. "You've never been a good liar."

War's eye twitched slightly as she gritted her teeth. "Fine! I was worried, all right?! Is it a crime to worry about my sister?"

"No," (Y/n) giggled. "Though you didn't have to lie. Thank you, War. His Majesty told me what all you, Death, and Famine did. I'm terribly sorry for causing such worry."

The other girl huffed out a sigh. "What happened in Altissia was horrible. When Death told me you were missing, I couldn't believe it. And that boy... I've never seen someone so devastated."

"Are you still against our relationship?" The snowy-haired Horseman asked.

War shrugged her shoulders. "I don't even care anymore. Even King Aeshema thinks this'll be good for you... How could I possibly argue with the daemon king himself? Besides, after seeing Ignis like that, I...am quite envious of you, Pestilence."

(Y/n)'s smile shattered. "War..."

"Don't say anything," the redhead snapped. "I already know what you want to say, but I'm not going to listen. I fell in love with a monster who I believed loved me back. He broke down my defenses and stabbed me in the back when he saw the perfect opportunity."

"I believe there's someone out there who can and will cherish you dearly," she replied. "Don't give up just yet."

War looked away, gazing toward the distance. "I hope you're right..."

The sound of the quarry's rickety, rusty elevator grabbed their attention. They saw Famine alongside Noctis, Prompto, Gladio, and Ignis as they exited the elevator. The heavy atmosphere (Y/n) sensed from the group was gone and she wondered what happened to change it. As she walked over to the group, Prompto and Famine sauntered off to talk in private while the others remained where they were. Noctis and Gladio, after having failed to notice her presence earlier, stared wide-eyed at Pestilence.

"The hell you've been?" Gladio sneered.

"Gladio," Ignis hissed scoldingly, yanking his arm out of the brute's grip.

"Watch your tongue," War growled, glaring at the shield.

"It's fine, Ignis, War," (Y/n) replied before staring into Gladio's amber eyes. "Believe it as you may, but I was suspended in an endless cycle of life and death at the bottom of the ocean. It is thanks to King Aeshema I stand before you today."

"The daemon king?" Noctis muttered.

The snowy-haired girl turned her gaze to the ravenette. "Yes." She then revealed the vial in her grasp. "He also granted me access back to the Inner Sanctum to secure the herbs I needed to help Ignis. Famine and I had to venture to the Rock of Ravatogh for the final ingredient, but we completed the remedy in the end."

"What does it do?" The azure-eyed boy questioned as he stared at the pale blue paste inside the vial.

"Cures blindness."

All three boys were taken aback at her answer. A feeling of hope, which had been extinguished until now, reignited inside them. "This can't be real," Gladio commented, his temper from earlier gone.

"I assure you, Gladio, it is," (Y/n) said. "It will also heal the tissue around his eyes. It will take time to see results, but I promise it will work. You will regain your eyesight, Ignis. If I may, could we begin the treatment right away?"

Ignis used his cane to make his way over to her, using her scent as a guide. Seeing this, the Horseman took his gloved hand in hers when he was close enough and escorted him over to a nearby bench. He felt around for the bench before sitting down and placing his cane aside. Pestilence carefully took off his visor and winced when seeing the extent of the damage caused by the Ring of the Lucii. She placed the protective eyewear on the bench beside him before tracing the skin around the scars. A sorrowful sigh came from her as she analyzed the damaged skin. "I truly am useless for an immortal."

Ignis reaches up with both of his hands, grasping hers gently. "Perish the thought, (Y/n), for it is false. What transpired the day of the rite was none other than the fault of the empire. We were all powerless."

"Still, I feel as if I could have altered the events," she confessed.

"As do I," he admitted.

Desiring to change the subject, Pestilence removed her hands from Ignis' face once he released her. She took the top off the vial and poured a small amount of paste on her finger. "Now then, let's focus on your eyes." At her words, he opened his eyes slightly and she could see his once glistening emerald eyes were glassy and dull. She could tell it was painful for him and commanded him to shut his eyes. With a gentle touch, she began applying the paste. Every time he winced in pain, she apologized and he would reassure her.

Once (Y/n) finished applying the paste, she watched his skin absorb it. "All right. That'll do for today. I'll apply more in the morning. You should see some results around tomorrow afternoon."

"What is this remedy, (Y/n)?" Ignis inquired, his aching eyes feeling relief for the first time in a long while.

"It's one from time immemorial. A forgotten concoction meant to heal those suffering from blindness. This isn't the first time I've used it. We've a few monsters in the Inner Sanctum that posses powerful poisons that result in blindness. This remedy has served us well over the years." She put the cap back on the vial before it disappeared with a small puff of smoke.

The sound of the train whistle grabbed their attention. When they heard an announcement that the train would be leaving shortly, Ignis stood up and caused (Y/n) to back away slightly. She didn't make it far before he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. She stared up at his sealed, scarred eyes as his hand slithered up her arm and toward her neck. His long, slender fingers trailed up the side of her neck until they stopped at her jawline. His index finger glided down her jawline until stopping at her chin. Gently, he took ahold of her chin and titled her head upward. He leaned down and placed his lips upon hers, kissing her tenderly.

Their kiss didn't last long because it was interrupted by a slightly annoyed Noctis. The raven-haired boy shouted for them to board the train before it departed without them. The couple begrudgingly unlatched their lips from one another.

(Y/n) grabbed Ignis' visor before looping her arm around his and escorting him back onto the train. As they boarded, she saw Famine place her lips on Prompto's cheeks. With a giggle, she vanished. The sharpshooter hopped onboard with a giddy grin and red cheeks, which made the Horseman smile.

Pestilence guided Ignis to the boys' cabin and opened the door for him. He stepped inside, the girl close on his heels. She closed the door behind her as the advisor placed his cane down before sitting on one of the bottom bunks. Once he was comfortable, (Y/n) walked over and gingerly placed the visor on his face.

"Thank you, darling," Ignis sighed in content.

She smiled at him. "You're quite welcome." She ran a hand through his slightly sticky locks. "I would suggest taking a shower. You smell miasmic."

"Our adversary in the quarry is to blame," he stated. "A malboro no less. A shower sounds quite lovely at the moment."

"Those monsters are rather rancid." She moves her hand from his hair to his face, caressing her fingers across his cheek. "Are you familiar with the bathroom's location? If not, I'll gladly assist you. Just ask and I'll do anything for you."

Ignis wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, resting his head on her chest. "You are a temptress no doubt, but I shall be fine."

(Y/n) wound her arms around his neck and leaned her head atop his. Even though he didn't smell like his usual cologne, she welcomed his warmth and touch. "All right. I'll wait for your return."

[aahhlliiss-writes]

On My Own or Not At All - Chapter Two

Oh goodness, it’s chapter two! I loved writing this, and can’t wait to get out Chapter Three. Thank you for reading! 

I would absolutely love to know what you think, and if you have any questions/ideas/feedback about this then please let me know. You can find my ask box HERE.

You can find all other chapters HERE.

WARNING: This series is going to deal with sexual assault, alcohol abuse, and mental health. While I’m going to keep these themes pretty mild, if any of these things upset you, this may not be the series for you.

1697 words.

Genesis groaned as she registered the persistent throbbing in her head, a result of her (self-inflicted) hangover. Her eyes opened blearily, head swimming as she took in the foreign bedroom she was in, frowning as she desperately tried to remember how she’d gotten here.

“Morning.”

Genesis froze, the gruff voice of the stranger next to her hitting her, pulling her from her thoughts. She turned slowly to identify the face of the strange voice, eyes meeting the man’s sleepy, green eyes. They were kind eyes, but Genesis didn’t recognize them, and all she wanted was to be as far away from him as possible.

“Who are you?”

He looked taken aback by her blunt question, the smile falling from his raspberry lips as quickly as it had appeared.

“You… You don’… M’Harry. We met las’ night. At the bar? We… We slep’ t’gether.”

Genesis nodded briefly, averting her eyes as she shuffled to sit up, looking around to locate her previously discarded clothes. She was suddenly very aware of how incredibly naked she was, and panicked reflux rose in her throat as the thought of how vulnerable she was in her current situation hit her. She could feel his eyes burning into the bare skin of her exposed back, and she tensed, slipping from the confines of the bed and tugging on her clothes.

Harry was silent as he watched her, and Genesis blushed red as the silence that had settled in the room became more and more uncomfortable. There was no way he could understand why she was like this, why she was so desperate to get far away from him, and even if there was a way, Genesis didn’t know how to explain it. She had to get out of there, away from his tireless gaze, and then pretend that this never happened. Go back to her life of solitude.

“Yer beau’iful.”

Genesis froze once more, and then turned slowly, her eyes finding his. He was the beautiful one. Laid back against the soft, white sheets, hair messy but tousled perfectly, bright green eyes locked on hers, his smooth, tanned torso effortlessly revealed by the duvet which lay over his hips. But all his beauty was so far away. She didn’t deserve it. She couldn’t have it. For Genesis, he was untouchable in every way.

“Where’s your front door?”

Harry paused a moment, his eyes narrowing, face almost pained by her words. His lips pressed together in a tight smile, the kind you offer up to strangers on the side walk, the kind that never reaches your eyes.

“Righ’ out this door, an’ then straigh’ ahead,” he murmured. Genesis nodded again, grabbing her shoes and bag and leaving the room. She didn’t look back. She couldn’t look back. For her, Harry couldn’t exist anymore.

##

“Genesis, you’re pregnant.”

The words rang in the air, hard and intrusive, an unwelcome and horrifying truth. Genesis’ mouth fell open, eyes wide and palms clammy as she gripped the plastic handles of the chair in the doctor’s office. Her chest was constricting and her vision was blurring, panicked visions flooding her brain. She hadn’t felt herself for a few weeks now, she had never amounted her nausea, missing period, or constant exhaustion to the possibility of pregnancy.

“I need you to take a deep breath for me, please. Genesis? I need you to breathe.”

The doctor’s voice felt far away, like he was talking to her from above the water she was drowning in. Except she wasn’t under water, she was in a strange doctor’s office, being told that an alien she never wanted was growing inside her. Pregnant. She was pregnant. With a baby. She was pregnant with a baby.

Tears flooded her eyes as she took a huge breath in, and it was like she had burst to the surface, finally able to breathe again, the reality of her situation hitting her all at once. The tears fell freely, and while under every other circumstance there was no way she’d let another person see her cry, these tears were completely out of her control. It was like every little bit of hurt she’d felt and been subject to since she was fifteen was bursting through the dam she had so rigorously maintained year after year, and now that it was broken, there was no stopping it.

“Oh love… Genesis… It’s okay. There are so many options. You won’t be alone in this, even if it’s just me,” the doctor soothed, a hand finding her back, rubbing it comfortingly. His words only made her cry even harder as she thought of how truly alone she was. Sure, she had her dad, but this wasn’t exactly something she wanted his help with. What she really wanted was her mum. And now instead, she had to be one.

Her sobs subsided and turned into quiet whimpers and sniffles as this new thought swirled around in her head. She realized that she hadn’t even considered the option of aborting the child, and somehow this provided her with a little comfort. Despite her devastated reaction, her subconscious had seemingly resolved that she would be keeping the baby.

She looked up at her doctor with red, wet eyes, clearing her throat a little before beginning to speak.

“So… I’m pregnant,” she started shakily.

He smiled a little, nodding.

“How… How many weeks?”

“I couldn’t tell you that just from the blood test, but I’ll refer you to a great obstetrician, she’s actually my wife; Lisa. You’ll love her I’m sure. Lisa can do a proper scan and chat to you about what the next step is. I’m almost certain that we’ve discovered this pregnancy earlier enough that if terminat-“

“No. No I… No. I want to… I definitely want to keep- keep… it,” Genesis concluded, nodding vigorously as she wiped away a few stray tears. The doctor smiled, nodding with her.

“That’s great. That’s wonderful that you already know. Makes the next steps much easier to navigate. Now, let me get that referral sorted for you, and if you’re ready you’ll be able to see her later on today. I’ll make sure she squeezes you in,” he winked, turning to his computer.

He set her up with all the information she could need, getting her a referral and organizing her an appointment with Lisa. Lisa’s practice was conveniently located just down the road, and so Genesis went from one medical facility to the next, eager to find out all that she could as quickly as possible.

Lisa was lovely, welcoming her with a hug instead of the usual professional doctor handshake, ushering her into her cheerful office and helping her get comfy on the medical bed.

“Right! Let’s get going, yeah? Let’s have a look at the little one. Do you mind just raising your shirt for me love?”

Genesis lifted the thin fabric, running her fingers over her stomach. This morning, Genesis would have just gotten dressed like she did every other day, and her stomach would’ve gotten no attention at all. Why would it? It was just a stomach. But now, with the knowledge that there was a little person growing inside her, her very own little alien, she gazed down at it in wonderment.

“That’s it. Alright… This’ll be cold,” Lisa warned, squirting clear, cool jelly onto the exposed skin and pressing a metal wand against it.

Genesis shivered, partly from the jelly and partly from the prospect of getting her first look at the little life inside her. She was scared, and shaky, and anxious, and she had no idea what she was doing, but when she thought of the baby she was now expecting, none of those other feelings seemed quite as horrible.

A soft, steady, swelling thud filled the warm room, and Genesis turned to look at the static black and white screen that the metal wand was attached to.

“There we go… Got a wee heart beat… So you’ll be at least eight weeks along, love.”

Genesis nodded numbly, eyes wide as she watched the black and white blob in awe. It was the most overwhelming experience Genesis had ever had. That teeny little flutter of a heart beat was coming from her, from inside her womb. She made that heartbeat.

The rest of the appointment flew by, with Lisa weighing Genesis, measuring her belly, and talking her through all the different aspects of pregnancy; what to eat, what to do, what her upcoming appointments would be, classes she could join to prep for her birth, and on and on. The list seemed endless, but Genesis was reassured by Lisa’s confidence and her warm, ever-present smile. This was doable.

“Right… That’s everything, I think. Does little one’s dad have any idea?” Lisa asked, eyes finding Genesis’.

Harry. Caught up in the whirlwind that had been her day, Genesis had completely forgotten about Harry. Harry, the beautiful stranger she’d slept with once and then left as quickly as she could. He hadn’t even crossed her mind, which seemed ridiculous; surely it should’ve been her first thought. But Genesis was so used to doing everything alone that this had seemed no different. The same, chest constricting panic she had felt earlier that morning came flooding back all at once, and she felt fresh tears prick her eyes.

“No… N-no. It was more of… It was a one t-time thing,” she managed to stammer, tearing her eyes from Lisa’s kind gaze.

“Okay. That’s okay love, no judgement here,” Lisa soothed. “I think it would be a good idea to tell him though, and sooner rather than later. I’ve seen too many pregnancies kept quiet to recommend waiting long at all. And I know, I know, it’s not my place… But at least think about it, okay?” she pressed, giving Genesis’ knee a gentle squeeze.

Genesis nodded numbly, trying to pull herself together once more as she offered Lisa a weak smile.

How on earth do you tell a one night stand that you abandoned all too eagerly the next morning that you’re pregnant? Genesis had no idea, but she was going to have to work it out, and quickly.