#and this was pretty early on in the clan’s life too so no one else was rly qualified to be deputy

[arolesbianism]

While I may not be allowing myself to post spiraling upwards spoilers, I see no issue with posting art of a bunch of folks who are dead before the story starts and one Conetalon who isn't

[animeyanderelover]

Yandere Gojo satoru and suguru geto (cult reader one) with non-sorcerer pregnant reader?

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, overprotective behavior, clinginess, manipulation, forced pregnancy, isolation, birth, angst in Geto's part

Pregnancy Hc's

Gojo Satoru

🩵��Gojo has always gotten away with some stuff since he is the strongest sorcerer currently but at the same time he has also lost a lot. A price for being who he is. He has always been entitled and selfish when it comes to you simply because for the first time he has someone he can wholeheartedly call his own. Even if you may still be uncomfortable with him and even if he has forced you into this position, you're still his. This should be enough for him yet apparently Satoru's greed knows no limits as he wishes for a child. You wish that he would only joke but the usual mischief in his eyes is completely gone as his blue eyes look at you with a silent longing in them, one that threatens to bring you down to your knees. He is fully aware what he is demanding from you and he knows about the risks that you as well as the baby would have to face simply for being his but he can't help the longing of his heart. He wants a child that only belongs to you and him and to no one else.

🩵​Satoru is extremely giddy and excited when he finds out that you are expecting as in that moment, only the two of you and the new life both of you have created seem to exist. He pokes your stomach gently, greets the little life inside with a grin on his face before he wraps you in his arms. As soon as the first wave of euphoria has passed, the fear and paranoia creeps up on him though. Nothing about your pregnancy is made public as he prioritises your safety and privacy. He knows that people are eventually bound to find out and that is what scares him so much. You are kept close by his side and aren't allowed to leave the house, not without him at least. Everything he does is done with an alerted level of awareness as he arranges Shoko to be your doctor and you notice the tighter grip he keeps on you when he takes you out of his home. That caution melts away for a while though when it is revealed during a scan that he's actually going to be a father of two. He has genuine tears in his eyes when he sees their little forms.

🩵​He talks twice as much to your stomach after that as he claims to you that two babies need more attention and love from him after all. Satoru's mood is all over the place as he seems to be even worse than you. He has exactly two moods during the entire timespan of your pregnancy. He is either doting and teasing on you and your stomach or is overly paranoid and protective. The latter feelings increase when news eventually leak out shortly after you have entered your second trimester. His clan acts highly displeased for you are only a non-sorcerer and for that might weaken the strength of his children and at the same time are offended that they weren't informed about this. They demand for him to take you to them yet Satoru denies them as he declares that he doesn't want them to be involved in the lives of his babies. There will be no expectations put on his kid's shoulders from a young age on nor will there be any assassins coming after their heads. Not as long as he is alive.

🩵​As soon as you start showing he is constantly lifting up your shirt to talk to your belly. Attached would be an understatement to use as you have a feeling that both of you will become one person if he sticks any longer to you. Satoru starts discussing pretty early on possible names, especially once Shoko is able to confirm the gender of the two babies. His joy upon knowing that he will have two boys is your personal nightmare as you don't even dare to imagine having three of him in the house. Whilst he has told you that he'd like you to choose one name for one of the boys too, at times you have the feeling he just wants to choose both of their names. Satoru is incredibly eager as he starts purchasing everything and starts preparing the nursery. You are not surprised when he wants everything painted blue as you can already see two babies with his blue eyes in your head. Whilst Gojo isn't opposed to having his boys look like copies of him, he's secretly hoping that they will resemble you from appearance too.

🩵​As soon as they start kicking, you have no doubt that those babies are truly his as they won't give you a minute to rest. Gojo on the other hand loves when he can feel their limbs whenever they make a tumult inside of you. They are awfully active and whenever you have a scan, both of them look like they're performing stunts in your womb and whilst it makes Satoru laugh when he sees the positions the twins are always in when you are visiting the doctor, you hope that they won't do that when you're in labor. Gojo on the other hand gets all silly the more you start showing. He starts painting on your stomach and even puts stuff on it to see if it'll stay on there. All whilst ensuring that you don't hurt yourself but he insists that it is bonding time with the babies if he does stuff like that and whilst you highly doubt it, it's not like he'll stop. It gets pretty exhausting and painful at one point due to their activity and you despise how emotional you get with the only available option for comfort being Satoru.

🩵​Despite your hopes of giving birth in a hospital, Satoru decides against it. He doesn't want to risk anything, especially when you will be completely vulnerable during birth. You're slightly afraid of giving birth at home because whilst Satoru trusts Shoko and the other people she has arranged to assist, you are far too new into this world to make up your mind about anything. Your labor starts a week earlier than expected which causes some panic, especially since neither of the boys are in the right position. For some time a C-section is considered but your prayers are answered when the babies turn in the last moments in the right position. Satoru doesn't leave your side once and in that moment you're thankful for it as everything is so intense and painful for you. Once both of the twins are born, you can't help but be surprised that they don't look just like mini Gojos. One has a tuft of his white hair and the other one has his blue eyes. Satoru couldn't be happier though that both of them turned out to be the perfect mix of him and you.

Geto Suguru

🗻​You don't even notice it as you are still quite stressed with everything that is going on around you. It is Suguru who senses it long before you do and so do all the other sorcerer around you, leaving you once again completely in the darkness about it. This wasn't planned at all and that is what gives Suguru some complicated feelings. His feelings for you have mellowed out somewhat as he has settled more into accepting the fact that he fell in love with what he despised most but he never considered before having a baby with you. Other sorcerers kind of argue about it too as some simply feel like discriminating because you are a non-sorcerer and others argue that Suguru is still the father. A lot of controversy breaks out and that is how you ultimately figure out what is going on and you break down in tears when you find out that you are pregnant. Yet you know that you can only wait for Geto's decision as you know that he would never allow you the freedom of choice.

🗻​To your surprise Mimiko and Nanako take a very protective stance as both of them are excited with the news that you will give birth to his child and both of them actively try to persuade him to let you keep the child. Ultimately Suguru doesn't seem to have the heart to get rid of the child and whilst it is an unpleasant realisation for him that he has gotten very soft simply because the baby is his and yours, he manages to convince everyone who feels iffy about it since there is always the chance that the baby might not be able to see curses and use cursed energy. From that moment on Mimiko and Nanako spend a lot of time with you as both of them are very giddy now that Suguru has decided to keep the baby. They instantly start arguing whether or not the child will be a boy or a girl and whilst you know that they only care about you because you mean so much to Geto and because you carry his baby, their excitement is still welcome and somewhat comforting.

🗻​Suguru is aware that you tend to be under a lot of stress ever since he abducted you so he does his best to take away as much as he can to avoid putting unnecessary stress on your mind and body which could harm the baby. For the first time he seems to consider more what frightens you and what doesn't, something he used to use against you to keep you in line and to remind you of your inferiority. You don't enjoy the fact that he tries to spend more time with you and he isn't ignorant to your clear hesitance and unease about it. You expect him to give you that displeased look that always tells you that you have messed up and will be punished but instead this time he only gives you a sigh. He doesn't feel guilt for what he has done to you ever since he has abducted you but he also doesn't want his child to grow up in a dysfunctional family. Can you at least cooperate with him this time? For the sake of your child? You can only swallow all the anger bubbling up inside of you. Of course this isn't about you. It has never been.

🗻​Your emotions start flaring up as you become more aware of the people around you who are all allies of Suguru. You notice the lingering looks they give you as your stomach becomes visible and sometimes you can even pick up on some of the conversations they have about you and the baby. Suguru, Mimiko and Nanako try their best to keep you away from such things but you know very well how everyone here feels about you. If the baby isn't like them...would they kill it? Mimiko and Nanako assure you that Suguru would never let that happen when you decide to open up to them when they spend time with you but you aren't convinced. This is a man who murdered his own parents after all. You snap one day when you are exposed to such talk once again and storm to where Suguru is, asking him this question that has been plaguing you for a while now. He appears to be shocked that you ask him this question, tries to reassure you but you are too hysteric in that moment and scream at him that someone capable of killing his own parents would be able to kill his own child too.

🗻​Thick silence falls over the entire room after those words as you can see the way he clenches his fists, his eyes narrowing as he glares at you. He looks like he's about to hurt you and a part of you wants him to do it just so that you know that you are right and that he is a monster. Instead he storms out of the room and leaves you standing there. You can hear how some of the other sorcerers start mumbling as they look at you but you don't care as you glare at all of them. They're all murderer after all. You don't see Geto for the rest for the day and you are very content with that. The only people looking after you are Mimiko and Nanako who appear to be worried. When they try to convince you into thinking that you were too harsh with Suguru, you demand from them to leave you alone as well. They initially don't do as you say and only when you start yelling at them do they leave you alone as well. You glare for a few seconds longer at the door until you start crying and sobbing as you realise once again that you are completely alone and that no one here really cares about you because they like you but because Suguru has told them to do so.

🗻​You fall into depression, snap at everyone until they all start avoiding you. You don't care about it anymore though. They're just finally showing their true faces. You eat less which ends in Geto having to force everything down your throat and you can tell that he is fed up with your behavior as well. You don't care anymore though. You just spend most of your time alone and scare anyone away that tries to talk with you. When Suguru one day decides that he has had enough of it, he storms to your room, fully prepared for your screams. Instead he finds you in your bed, a pillow over your head as he hears sobs and whimpers from you. Despite his plans he feels a twinge of guilt when he sees your lonely and trembling form. When he steps closer though, his heart drops when he realises that your water has broken an entire month too early and you're in labor yet were too stubborn to call for any help. Suddenly all hell breaks loose in your room as everyone who can help tries their best to assist you yet even with contractions you still try to reject them all. You are only able to hear the cries of the newborn and how someone announces that it's a boy before you pass out, hoping to never wake up again.

[dadvans]

chick flick moments (bucktommy)

[i can’t stop thinking about tommy’s favorite movie being Love, Actually.]

Tommy hasn’t really talked or seen his family in roughly twenty years. His firefighting career has never been enough, if they were ever keeping tabs, to make up for his dishonorable discharge. And honestly, it’s been fine with him. His family has always been the suffocating kind of conservative and earning their love stopped being a hill he would choose to die on for longer than they’ve been radio silent.

Someone is keeping tabs though, or maybe the news of his recent heroics have a broader reach than he thought, because a few months after getting a medal for the cruise liner disaster response, someone reaches out. Tommy is hesitant to engage because he’s pretty happy without them in his life, but maybe at first it was a cousin or uncle, but that’s followed by one of his sisters trying to get into contact, followed by his mom, followed by his dad. And they’re persistent. Maybe they do want to make amends. And maybe he doesn’t need his blood family but there’s that tiniest part of him left that still wants that connection.

This is how he gets suckered into the most miserable Christmas dinner of his life. It’s not actually Christmas, it’s a few days before when the whole clan can get together, and it’s just as claustrophobic and awful as ever, every word spoken saturated in judgment and triple meanings that Tommy long since has lost the muscle to withstand.

Evan had wanted to come with him, said a whole bunch of shit about how they were PARTNERS, and how it could not be nearly as bad as his own parents were, but Tommy’s extended family holiday dinners are like a Los Angeles Miserable People convention crowded between the dining room and kitchen tables, and Evan’s still licking some wounds after surviving Gerrard’s brief yet nightmarish tenure back at the 118, maybe next time. This first round Tommy needs to do solo. So, Evan drops him off around the corner in the afternoon with a promise to come pick him up later that night.

Evan checks in with him pretty frequently, sending him stupid videos and things he finds on the internet, but Tommy gets hit immediately by some pretty barbed comments about being a grown man on his phone who doesn’t give a shit about the olive branch he’s being offered, so he stops checking so much.

Finally, halfway through too many glasses of wine and an early evening roast that make his memories of MREs seem like a pleasant dream, his phone starts going off pretty insistently. It’s Evan.

The doorbell is about to ring and i need you to be the one to answer it.

Well, that’s worrisome. He’s pretty close to the hallway though, so he types back: ok.

The doorbell rings. He shoves away from the table, waving everyone else back down. “I’ll get it.”

Evan is at the door. He has his phone out with a little plug-in speaker, and oh God, a stack of cue cards—

Unbelievable. “What are you doing.”

Evan enthusiastically hits play on his phone and as tinny Christmas music starts to play, holds up the first card: TELL THEM IT’S CAROLERS

He shakes his head. “Evan, even if they believed me, they would probably love that and would come check it out.”

“Tommy, who’s at the door?” His uncle calls from the dining room.

Tommy rolls his eyes and shouts back, “Planned Parenthood asking for donations!”

“Tell ‘em were eating dinner and to get the fuck out of here!”

Tommy looks at Evan pointedly, eyebrows raised, hands in pockets as if to say: well?

Evan flips to the next few cue cards:

I NEVER SAW THIS MOVIE BEFORE YOU MADE ME WATCH IT flip AND HONESTLY IT WASNT THAT GOOD flip BUT TO ME YOU ARE WORTH IT

“Evan,” Tommy says, softening.

AND I KNOW YOU THINK YOU ARE PROTECTING ME BY TELLING ME TO STAY HOME flip AND THOUGH WHATEVER IS GOING ON CAN’T BE AS BAD AS WATCHING LOVE, ACTUALLY flip OR HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS flip OR THE WEDDING PLANNER flip OR 50 FIRST DATES flip (I ACTUALLY LIKED FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL) flip I WANTED TO CHECK IN

Evan fumbles the cards to the hand holding his phone to pull something out of his back pocket, a piece of paper he gives Tommy, before flipping to the next card: I MADE THIS RANSOM NOTE IF YOU NEED TO BE KIDNAPPED flip AND WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE

It’s easily the stupidest grand gesture anyone’s ever directed at Tommy. He looks over the piece of paper, words threateningly put together cut out from Evan’s copies of Food & Wine and Men’s Health. He nods to himself, smiling, then looks up at Evan who is cheesing back.

“Yeah,” he says, feels for his phone and wallet in his pocket, before dropping the paper to the welcome mat and stepping outside, ready to escape back home to the only family he needs.

[ruruumin]

good luck, babe!

₊˚ ᗢ canon! lumine x gn! reader (x endgame! mona).

⤷ when you need a little loving, she's not there.

you can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth. you thought she might stick around longer. having found her lying in the sand with a rather obnoxious, pale-beige companion, you were the first person she met in teyvat. the first one who taught her how to use her wind glider, the one who guided her in her early battles, and the one who put faith in her. the outlandish traveler who has come to find her brother. that was who she was to everyone else. but to you, you thought from the bottom of your heart, she would be the one for you.

the times you’ve shared in dark inns and festivals were more than enough to send your feelings leaping to the top of your throat.

sending her away to liyue was heartbreaking. you knew this was the right thing for her. she was a free soul. she needed to find her brother. you couldn’t possibly keep her tied down to you in mondstadt. it was a selfish wish. an ugly one that sent your head reeling. she gave you a nervous kiss on the cheek, waving to you from the port.

you try to kiss her on her lips but she quickly dodges your advances, telling you she doesn’t want your public display of affection. she tries to comfort you, saying she’ll come back to visit you. and if that doesn’t happen, she can send you letters. 

i don’t want to call it off, but you don’t want to call it love. you have to suck everything up and settle for her short, fleeting kiss. a bitter taste lingers on your tongue. she boards the boat, making sure to wave to everyone crying their eyes out for her. when you shift your sights, you could feel your heart drop to your stomach, seeing the successor of the ragnvindr clan staring fondly at her. 

she occasionally writes letters to you, and you receive them in the comfort of your home, a place where she once took residence. it was signed and sprayed with her signature perfume, a smell that would always soothe your sore muscles. after a long day of adventure, her words are what you look forward to hearing. 

she talks about her journey in liyue. rambling about how delicious the food is, how vibrant the culture is, and how much fun she’s having with her new friends. she likes to bring up two people in particular. this strange fatui harbinger that is constantly getting on her nerves and the second, a very quiet yet protective soul that guards the land. you want to stuff the gross, sick feeling that is building at your core. you don’t want to assume anything. they could just be friends. a very chummy pair of friends, your devil argues. attached to this letter was a photo she took.

and it felt too intimate to just be friends. 

you only wanna be the one that i call ‘baby.’ she signs her name beside a heart, a subtle marking that she still thinks of you differently. you hold this letter close to your chest, ignoring the photos. 

she continues her life to inazuma, the land of eternity. not without a few more letters delivered to your front door, signed with her pretty name in gold ink.

you could only pray for her safety. inazuma was not the most welcoming country. you’ve heard stories about the archon being a ruthless warrior who imprisoned many of her people’s dreams. you want to tell her to return home (to you). you want her to stop her adventures and come back, kiss you again like she did all those nights before. remind you exactly why you’ve fallen in love with her. 

you don’t have the heart to tell her the truth. so you let her travel far and wide. like her time in liyue, she is writing to you about all the people she’s met. you can kiss a hundred boys in bars. a red and white colored samurai, a flirty detective, a kind-hearted blond, and the tea-loving clan leader. one photo after the other they flood like a broken dam. shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling. 

every single one of them influenced her in ways you could only imagine. they gave her the hope to continue moving forward. having accomplished what might be the impossible, stopping an archon’s power with two visions, you can’t help but compare yourself to her many talented friends in other nations.

her letters start to become antagonizing to you. each month they come in, detailing more and more about the things you didn’t want to hear. was inazuma better than what you provided in mondtsadt? or was it your relationship? this forbidden bond between two women. you want to ask her if she feels ashamed, but your heart and mind argue with each other.

like promised, she comes back to you after liyue’s lantern fest. and while you wanted to be the first person to greet her, it’s unnerving seeing the renowned alchemist, albedo, at the port. his eyes brightened up at the sight of her luminous hair and he rushed over to greet her. his sister klee quickly followed behind, her hand reaching out to push him closer towards the elusive traveler. he exhibited an excited expression you’ve never seen in your life, its unlike albedo.

you clutch onto the surface of your clothes, unsure of what to make of it all. 

i’m cliche, who cares? one step after the other, she pushes you onto your bed, fingers entangled. legs brush up against each other. hot breaths on your ear keeps you grounded to reality. her lips kiss the nape of your neck, the bottom of your jawline, the side of your temple. she whispers to you the words you’ve been wanting to hear and it reels your heart right out you.

you’re caught on her fishing line and she has you exactly where she wants you. its a sexually explicit kind of love affair.

and as quickly as she came, she left for the next place: sumeru. it should become routine to you at this point. you go on with your life, once a month a letter comes in, and she’ll always talk about her new friends. this time it was a very attractive scholar from a prestigious akademiya and a short, youthful boy. the latter was originally some kind of god that had been abandoned by inazuma’s archon, but now he has reformed underneath her care. she tells you that he follows her around like a lost puppy, always eager to help her out with denial trailing his every word. and i cry, it’s not fair. 

was every man in the world a better choice than you?

it hurts you to see those photos. seeing her smile so bright, waist snuggly close to her new friends’ hands, their eyes filled with the same adoration you had for her. she never took photos when she was here in mondstadt with you. so why does she do it with everyone else? was it really about you? about your relationship?

i just need a little loving, i just need a little air. she only comes to your house, eager to pepper kisses down your throat. very rarely do the two of you spend time in taverns or festivals. you’ve asked yourself so many questions. so many times. on various occasions. 

and the thought comes up to you in a nauseating wave: she was ashamed to be seen with you. you’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.

she doesn’t return to mondstadt after sumeru. immediately traveling to the next area, she’s continued to capture the hearts of every man in the nation. you wonder to yourself if she’ll ever see you the way you need. if she’ll ever love you the way you wanted. hope is dashed one letter after the other. and you’ve stopped counting. you let them pile up on your desk, unopened and unread. 

you do everything in your power to forget about this outlandish traveler. returning to your singular room, folding the bed without a second thought, cooking meals for yourself. everything went back to how it was before she arrived. at first, it was hard to go back to where you started. you couldn’t forget the soft kisses or the whispers of her voice from haunting you. your heart was still yearning for someone who would never see you properly.

but with time, things will change. you’ll move on. and you’ll love someone else. that is the way of life after all.

you fasten your weapon, booking it out the door to meet a very peculiar girl, one that could tell your fortune with just the palm of your hand. she smiles at you with bright enthusiasm. her skin feels warm when she pulls you towards the open field, her hydro vision glistening underneath the sunlight. 

you were thankful you met her on that fateful day. on a particularly hot day, when you were leaving your house for some fresh air, she was the freedom you were yearning for. you met during one of your commissions and she hasn’t left your side since then. every day felt brighter when she’s around.

she drags you out of your home to dance with her at festivals. she invites you to her place to play a game of cards. she even kisses you on the back of your hand as if you were the most special woman in the world. and most importantly, she’s not afraid to be seen with you. if anything, it fuels her with immense pride. 

it felt liberating being with someone who wanted you.

it’s no longer a surprise to you when you see the luminous traveler at the port. she’s looking left and right for you, golden eyes searching for your figure in thick crowds. she’s out of breath when she pushes through everyone. after her stressful time in fontaine, she’s been dying to see you again. eager to feel your warmth on the tips of her fingers. she wants to ask you why you haven’t returned any of her letters. she needs answers. and she needs you. 

and when you think about me, all of those years ago, you’re standing face to face with ‘i told you.’ she stops in her tracks, heels stomping on the ground as her blood turns cold. hand in hand, you’re sitting next to a woman dressed in the prettiest of constellations. lights shine above you like a halo, highlighting your natural glow. she’s leaning her head against yours, kissing you on the lips. a proud expression is written upon her face, over the moon that she has you.

and lumine could do nothing but watch.

good luck, babe.

[vaamiel]

My commissions are open!

I drew my dragon age protagonists!

I love them all so much 🥹 I figure I might as well write a lil about them so more info below the cut!

(this is quite long so be warned!)

Athon Surana is my warden!

He's a crunchy little bookworm who would much rather be researching or reading than fighting (or sleeping. Or eating. Or brushing his hair. Pretty much anything else).

He's an arcane warrior. Not because he wanted to be a frontline fighter or wield a sword, but literally because it requires less effort and thought than casting spells in combat. That's not to say he's a bad mage - quite the opposite in fact - but he doesn't want to spend the mental energy on fighting when he could much rather use his brain for Other Things.

Zevran is the love of his life, though I think them getting together is more incidental than anything else. Athon would likely have never sought companionship from anyone at all if he was left to his own devices, but he enjoys the time he spends with zev very much!

I imagine he's currently buried under a pile of books somewhere in Weisshaupt. The events of DAD will absolutely happen around him and he won't even bother to stick his head out of the library.

Garrett Hawke is.. well, you know

I love the default name and appearance for Garrett. The more I play DA2 the more it sticks as the only option for his appearance in my mind 🥲

I think my headcanons for him stick pretty close to canon - maybe with the exception I imagine him being even more pro-mage (perhaps even slightly racial) compared to the options you're provided in-game?

Anders is his romance and Garrett is very much All In on his ideals. Tbh I DO headcanon that he put together the plan about the chantry explosion and never stepped in because he supported the action.

I imagine he and Anders are off galavanting around Weisshaupt, waiting for Athon to finish developing a cure for the taint (and annoying Carver until the end of his days, certainly).

Lennox Trevelyan is my latest inquisitor!

He's the oldest of my three inquisitors, and incidentally the oldest of his siblings as well. Getting sent to the tower at a young age was frustrating and I think he held a lot of resentment toward his family and the circle for being caged as he was.

He also lost his faith during his years in the circle, which was quite jarring for someone raised in such a devout family.

That Lennox never saw any of his siblings or his parents again really Messed Him Up for a long time, and left him with a little bit of an inferiority complex and a smidge of abandonment issues 🥲

The inquisition (and his role in it) made things both better and worse - the power never went to his head, but he was certainly a bit of a radicalist when it came to freedom for mages and equality amongst all those under his command.

His romance is Dorian, and tbh with his disbanding of the inquisition, I imagine he went chasing after him to Tevinter (darn abandonment issues strike again), acting as a liaison for Leliana as divine.

Ashiriel Lavellan is my middle child with a weird AU backstory

SO Ashiriel is my one character that breaks a lot of the established lore. She was inspired by an au I built for myself and then never posted anywhere around... 2018? Where Dorian fled Tevinter with the help of the chargers a year or so early.

Ashiriel never imagined herself a mage. She made it 25 years without any magic manifesting, then during a traumatic incident when caught by some nasty noblemen in the forest, she lit them on fire (and half of herself too).

Basically, to cut an incredibly long-winded backstory short, she was rescued by bull and Dorian after they stumbled upon her. The chargers stayed with clan Lavellan for a time, helping Ashiriel heal and defending them as they moved away from Wycome etc.

They don't meet again until the tear etc, but all this sort of informed how I built Ashiriel in the game!

Cullen is Ashiriel's husband and I imagine they live happily ever after in the woods of ferelden, mutually healing from their extensive trauma 😌

Veren was my first inquisitor!

Veren is a precious little baby, new to the world just like me lmao. We both knew nothing going in to inquisition, so I was a stupid dumb dumb idiot and romanced Solas on my first playthrough with her.

We're both not over it.

Veren is a rogue (the only non-mage out of all my protags haha), but because she loved and trusted Solas, she kind of worked heeding his advice the whole game.

The one exception would be the well of sorrows - still reeling from the breakup she decided to ignore him that one time and... Well, we'll see what happens there, I suppose.

You bet your ass she's chasing that stupid egg across Thedas and beyond. Veren is hella determined and will stop at nothing to try to redeem Solas. Or maybe she's in denial, hard to say.

Anyway, I think that's it! If you managed to sit through all this rambling, thanks! Let me know what you think!

[presidentbungus]

i’m still trying to decide what exactly demo does after the war. i do think he breaks the degroot cycle and i do think there’s a chance his mum disowns him for it. i think he realizes he’s too miserable to ruin a kid pretty early on in adulthood and decides it’s worth it to sit through every long lecture about bloodlines and grandchildren over birthing a child into a loveless marriage and making it just as miserable as he is (which, he eventually comes to terms with, is exactly what happened to him)

it’s hard. cleaving yourself from your family like that, your clan, the people that brought you into the world and half-raised you and filled your head with all kinds of funny ideas about honor. after the war i thjnk he just shuts himself off from the world and sulks for months and months and months regretting his choice, knowing he can never go back, figuring this is the path of unluck he was following all along, destined to die alone in his thirties to alcohol poisoning in a huge mansion he has all to himself. eventually, though, someone does come along. soldier or scout or engie, in town for a visit and they won’t take no for an answer when tavish tries to tell them he’s moved on and he’s not really in the mood for a drink. it’s just one night, they just go get smashed at a random dive bar off the street and probably end the night in jail, but he wakes up the next morning and realizes that whatever it was tipped the single upright nail barely keeping aloft this whole massive pile of misery and self-pity and for the first time in months he wants to live. he wants to know people. he wants to try to rebuild what he had even if it’ll never be the same again

i think he just packs his bags and moves closer to someone he knows, honestly. makes a few calls and picks up and goes closer to wherever everyone else he knew in the war fucked off to, the closest thing he ever had to a family (even compared to the people that raised him), and starts to rebuild his life from scratch. it’s hard but he’s got at least one friend near him who’s probably in need of a project anyway, and he finds out quickly he had much more family than he thought as his coworkers start becoming parents and uncles of their own, and he never ends up having his own kids but he might as well considering how many times he finds himself godfathered, after everything he’d done for everyone, which turns out to be much more than he thought.

i think eventually he manages to get a job teaching high school chemistry or something stupid like that. not for anything resembling loose change, but it’s something to do, and there’s just a little bit of pride in knowing his mum’s probably doing flips in her grave every time he goes into work. he’s not great at teaching what he’s supposed to, but somehow the kids always come out of the class scoring twice the national average on whagever standardized tests they have to take, and he’s basically paying the school to work there below board anyway, buying buildings and funding school supply initiatives with the millions he has stocked up from all that thankless work in his twenties and thirties. even if he doesn’t have a kid of his own he makes himself a part of so many kid’s lives, not just teaching but building relationships, helping with homework and checking on home lives and showing up on the soccer field afterschool to cause a disturbance. and well it’s hard to feel like you’re a horrible useless person when every student you pass on the way to the teacher’s lounge beams at you and tells you about their day. it’s not much to a lot of people but it’s everything to him, finally something he can do that has a tangible positive effect on people’s lives, and that gives him a reason to stay upright, too, keep on trucking, keep being a positive example for every bright eye that looks up to him. for the first time in his life he feels like he’s worth something, without pretending to be something he’s not, bending over backwards in work he doesn’t enjoy to please someone who never loved him for anything he was in the first place. ok that’s it i think i have to go cry now

[callsign-hexen]

Western Skies

Summary: after having dinner with the rest of the Abbott family, you and Rhett enjoy some time together in the field

word count: 4.2K

Warnings: cursing, Rhett being a shy boy around Reader, making out in a field, doing more stuff in a field, dirty talk, oral sex (female), a slight hand job, vaginal fingering, PiV sex in a field, cream pie (reader is on birth control, but wrap it before you tap it, folks), 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI, AFAB reader, no use of Y/N. Let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: This took longer to make due to procrastination, a summer class, and a bachelorette party weekend. Some of the spicy dialogue is based on things that my boyfriend has said to me. I have PLENTY of ideas, but any suggestions or requests are welcome! Enjoy!

You and Rhett had only been seeing each other for two months. You met him years ago in high school when your family moved to town in the middle of your sophomore year. You never talked, but he admired you from afar, almost as if it were love at first sight. Not quite love at the time, but the feeling that something was here. The pretty new girl in town, the one who was quiet, shy, and would never talk unless someone spoke to you first. Usually, it was somebody asking the age-old question: “Why move here?”. You never really knew how to answer that question, as simple as it was. A small town like Wabang being as boring as it is, especially to a teenager, one would wonder who the hell would want to move in instead of moving out.

The two of you somehow managed to never start a conversation with each other for the rest of your high school years. But you knew of each other’s existence well enough that if someone were to have told either of you news about the other that had been going through the town, you would generally know who they were talking about.

Rhett had kept you in the back of his mind as he went throughout his life in Wabang, even during the whole Maria debacle. He often thought of himself as a creep for it, always thinking about a girl he had never even spoken to. But it felt impossible not to do so as he saw you everywhere. At school, at the rodeos, at the general store that you worked at, he would even see you at church whenever his mother would drag him along with the rest of the Abbott clan.

It would only get worse when you started babysitting Amy a few years back.

There was a time when Amy was small enough to where she couldn’t properly learn to ride a horse yet, and the ranch work got so tough that all of the family would have to pitch in on the fields, even Rebecca. With Amy being too young, they had to have someone watch her while everyone else took care of the ranch. That was when you walked further into Rhett’s life.

He happened to be near the front door as he heard a knock early that morning. He was never told who was going to watch Amy; so, as he opened the door, the last person he expected to see was you. You were wearing an oversized sweater that was long enough to cover your hands to combat the chilly morning of the fall season, jeans, and an old pair of boots that he remembers you wearing throughout high school. He almost froze on the spot, taking you in as you stood on the porch. You look up at him, eyes illuminated by the porch light that was turned on as the sun has just barely risen. “W-what are you doin’ here?” he asked you, finally finding his voice.

You breathed out a small laugh, “Well good morning to you too, Rhett. Your mom and Rebecca asked me to watch Amy while you guys go take care of things, so here I am,” you said. You motioned a request to come in with your hand, he moved aside so quickly he almost trip on the carpet. You stepped inside, taking in the Abbott house. You’ve never been over, let alone inside of it.

“So, how’ve you been, Rhett? I’ve seen you at the rodeos, you’re doing pretty good,” you said as you walked around the living room. Rhett already felt his knees grow weak the second he saw you, but every time you say his name, he felt as if he could fall to his knees in an instant if he heard it one too many times. “You come to the rodeos?” He asked you; it took everything in him to keep his voice from giving away how nervous you made him. He felt as if he were a small child talking to their crush for the first time. “Only every one there is, got nothing else to do at night besides staying at home with a cat,” you laughed as you replied, looking over your shoulder at him as you made your way to the kitchen to meet Cecelia as she put on a pot of coffee.

You continued to watch over Amy for three months, after that you two became so close that she and Rebecca would make regular appearances at the General Store to visit you as you worked. It took one year of that for Amy to finally bring Rhett along. And a few short months after for Rhett to finally get the guts to ask you out.

Amy was over looking at the little toy dispensers at the front, searching in her pockets for a quarter or two. Rhett was with you at the register in the back, leaning against it as you cleaned up to close the store, it was a Sunday afternoon which normally meant to close up early around 5 o’clock. He volunteered to straighten up some papers, flyers, and other little things that lined themselves up at the counter. He looked over at you as you swept the floors. “So,” he started, already thinking that he should stop while he’s ahead to keep himself from embarrassment, “what are your plans this week?” You looked up from the floor as you swept the dirt into the dustpan, shrugging, “I’m not sure, mostly just work here and there. I’ll probably just stay home for a bit until this week’s rodeo.” You went over to the trashcan to empty the pan before putting the broom up. “Do you happen to have anything going on around, say Friday night?” he asked, his guts churning as if someone was trying to make butter out of his intestines.

You looked back at him after closing the maintenance closet, “Well, I think I just have a small shift here that morning, but I don’t think I have anything in mind that night. Why?” Rhett shifted his weight on his feet, looking down at the floor before finally looking up and into your eyes. “Well,” he started, “I was wonderin’, if you had nothing goin’ on that night, if you would want to go grab a drink with me? Just us,” Rhett could barely get his words out. You turn to full face him head on, “Just us?” you asked him. He nods at you almost too fast, too eager; he curses himself internally. “Y-yeah, just us two. You don’t have to, it was just a tho-”

“I would love to,” you said before he could finish. “Pick me up at 8:00?”

He froze in his spot; the best possible outcome has now become his worst fear. Last time he felt like this, he was on the back of a bull for the first time in his life. “Absolutely” he said, feeling a little more sure of himself. You gave him your signature, sweet smile, “fantastic, I’ll see you then!”

The two of you have been inseparable since then. Being with each other every night, out late until the two of you were forced to go back to your respected houses. Two months later, to now, you lay in the pasture. The sun was setting over the horizon, coating the field in a gold hue. It was days like these that you knew you would look back on when things got tough. Just the two of you, and the fields of the Abbott land.

You laid tucked into Rhett’s side with your head on his chest, one of his arms was around you, and the other behind his head which had his hat covering his face. His eyes shut as the two of you laid peacefully, bathing in the sunset. The both of you were laying down on an old blanket that Rhett kept in his truck for these days. The ones where you just enjoyed each other’s company under the fiery skies.

His truck was behind you by a couple of yards. The two of you had finished dinner with his folks just an hour before, your first time having dinner with them as Rhett’s girlfriend. The Abbots aren’t a dressy bunch, so you just wore boots, jeans, and a tank top covered by a flannel. Afterward, he has asked you if you wanted to take a drive and watch the sun set. You could never turn down such a request.

You turned your head slightly, almost shoving it into his neck, breathing in the slight scent of the cigarettes he smoked and the cologne he bought only because he thought you would prefer it. You don’t, but it does smell nice. His hold tightened around you, squeezing you into his chest as he shifted his head towards you. His hat raised just enough for his face to show as he looked down at you. You lifted your gaze up to look at him, into his eyes. His azure eyes shone with a brightness that you could feel almost as strongly as the sun ahead of you. A sea that you could dive in and never wish to return. Your eyes had never seen the ocean in real time before, but if you did, you knew it would rival the one in his. He looked at you, his nose touching yours just slightly. You could feel his breath on your lips, his body heat mixing with yours nearly overheating you in the chilly fall evening. As you stared into each other’s eyes, the heat grew more and more. The both of you could feel your want for each other, looking at your lips in contemplation. You tilted your head, silently asking for him to make a move. Answering your call, he slowly leaned down to you and pressed his lips against yours with you leaning up to meet him.

You two had shared kisses before; when he would come back from riding a bull, when he would get hurt doing so, when he dropped you off at home after a date, when you greeted him outside of the General Store after a work shift, and sometimes when you just felt like it. But this was different. Those were harmless, “I adore you”, “I’ll see you soon” kisses. This, this was full of want.

His hands roamed your body with such tenderness that you felt that if they were any lighter, it would be like he was never there.

Your hands brushed through his hair, knocking the hat further off of his head, combing through the dark blonde strands as your lips covered his in a loving, fiery kiss. The sun had set down a little further, the transition between summer and fall causing a chill through the air, causing you to lean further into his arms. The more this goes on, the more his hands grip your hips, almost forgetting to be gentle. You almost want him to.

He moves your leg over to shift over is hip, you’re almost laying on top of him at this point. His hand slides up to cup your ass as the other is wrapped around your shoulder, keeping you close to him as you moan into his mouth at the touch. He starts to kiss down you jaw to your neck, giving tiny nips at your throat. You gasp at the painful pleasure he gave you. He sits up, taking you with him and shifting you over into his lap completely, your thighs on the other sides of his hips. His arms are wrapped around your back, one hand up behind your neck, holding you in place gently, afraid of taking things too far without your say so. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You let him in, your tongues dance in a battle for dominance. Your hands moved up around his neck, playing with the curls of his hair. His lips moved further down to your collar bone, moving the collar of your shirt down just enough to place his lips just under it to put a hickey where nobody but him can see it. When he was done, he put his hands back around you, and kissed up to right below your ear where you jaw ended. He quickly learned that you liked that as your moans got louder and began to slowly grind your hips into his. You started to feel him getting harder, you reach down to rub him through his jeans, but he stops you. His hands raised up and placed themselves on your back; you could feel his lips move against your ear as he whispered, “We can stop anytime you say, just give me the word. I don’t want you doing something you don’t want to, or something you regret.”

You leaned back to look him in his cerulean eyes, placing your forehead against his. “I could never regret anything with you, Rhett. I want everything with you, anything you can give me I will happily take and give anything in return. I want you”

His arms tightened around you, holding you impossibly close to him. Sliding them down to your hips. You moved along in the rhythm of his hands, fingers still lacing themselves through his hair, tugging slightly at his roots. A low rumble in his throat tells you to pull just a bit harder. He goes back to his previous quest to kissing your neck. You moan as he reaches the right spot that makes your eyes roll back. His hands squeeze your hips as you roll them into his. He sucks a hickey onto your collar bone as he removes the flannel off of your shoulders, down your arms, and lays it on the grass beside you. He raises your top to remove it as well, his lips going further down into your cleavage. He feels like he finally reached paradise, maybe he didn’t get up from the ground that the bull threw him in this past weekend like he thought he did. He’s just been resting until he found his way into his heaven.

As he cups your breasts, he pushes them together slightly to leave kisses down lower and lower. You remove your hands from his hair to reach back to remove our bra, revealing yourself to him.

“Was this your plan, Rhett? Take me out into a field, make me bare as you ravish me fully clothed?” you smirk at him, going to undo the buttons on his shirt. “Isn’t that every man’s dream?” he retorts back, leaning up to place his lips on yours again as he helps you take his shirt off. Your lips reconnect as your hands slide up his chest, feeling his scar on his left shoulder you often wonder how he got it; the best bet was a riding accident. Out of the many he has had over the years. Flush, chest to chest, the both of you feeling each other over and over until you believed that you had a map of each other in your brain to forever keep. He let out a low grown as you pulled his hair again. He grabbed a good hold on you, lifting himself onto his knees, taking you up with him as your legs wrapped around him fully. He leaned over and carefully placed you onto the ground, keeping himself hovering over you.

He looked down at you as you gazed up at him, his hair in his face, lips slightly swollen after the passionate kisses you had shared. He brought one of his hands up to move a few strands of hair from your face, getting lost in your eyes. “The things you do to me, and what I want to do to you,” he said softly, cupping your cheek. You tightened your legs around him, bringing his hips closer to yours as you locked him in. “What is it you want to do to me, Rhett?” you whispered so softly that he was surprised he could hear it. He leaned down to kiss your forehead, your nose, and then finally on your lips again. He then placed his lips next to your ear, “I want to do everything, I want to strip you bare in this field and have you close to me. I want to have you writhe under the sky while you scream my name, we’re so far that nobody could hear you for miles. I want to be inside of you, to feel you.” He moved his kisses down your neck, to your collar bone. “The warmth,” he kept moving down further to kiss each of your breasts and then travelled down the valley. “The wet,” he said as he reached the button on your pants, undoing it as he looked back up at you. ���But most of all, I want to hear you beg.”

You helped him slide your jeans from your legs, his lips immediately attacking your inner thighs as they get out of his way and join the rest of your clothes. His hands rubbing up and down your legs; feeling the smooth skin as they wrap around his shoulders, locking him in as he kissed down your inner thighs. He slid his hands up to lay on the dip in your waist as his placed a kiss on your panties, teeth tugging at the fabric lightly. You could feel his breath against your skin, your legs tightened around him in anticipation, his hands tightened around your waist as they slide down to the elastic of your underwear. Hooking his fingers in the band, he began pulling them down as he nipped at your thighs before raising up to hover above you, looking into the depths of your eyes.

You laid bare before him in the grass field on his family’s land, the sun has gone down just enough for the sky to be a dark purple. Becoming dark but you could still see enough to see the loving lust in his eyes as he stared down at you. He brought a hand up to cup your face, his thumb rubbing lightly over your cheekbone before kissing your lips. He traveled the kisses down your body to land him self back down between your legs, finally making his way to where you’ve needed him.

Wrapping his hands around your thighs he pulled you to him; he licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit. You shivered under his touch, your hands moving into his hair. He took his time, methodically moving from licking you to sucking slightly on the bundle of nerves that made you twitch at every stimulation. He closed his eyes and reveled in the taste of you, he could live off of you for the rest of his time here on earth and whatever lies afterwards. You moan loudly as he latched his lips around your clit; sucking and licking like his life depended on it. You pulled his hair as you felt your arousal grow tighter. “You taste so good, darlin’. Fuck, you taste so good,” he shifted one of his hands from your things and inserted a finger into you, going in and out, curling. It feels so different than when you do it. His hands, his fingers, are so much bigger than your small ones. Ever since you first saw them, your dreamed about how they would feel all over you, inside of you.

He went up to kiss your neck again, making his way up to your mouth. You moan into him, silencing your cries. “Let me hear you, baby. What do you want?” he says as he pulls back to look you in the eyes, his finger curling into your sweet spot, quickening his pace. “a..another f-finger” you respond, trying to keep focus as he shifts his thumb to rub your clit with the same pace as his fingers. “You wan’ me to add another finger? You want me to fuck you with my figers before stuffing you with my cock?” He rests his forehead to yours, his breath colliding with yours and in almost kiss. “P-please! Please let me cum!” you almost scream, Rhett laughs lowly as he slides another finger into your quivering cunt. He keeps increasing his pace as you feel yourself getting closer to your climax. Your leg begins to shake a bit as you cling to him, pulling his hair, sinking your nails into his arm. “I can feel you baby, cum for me, scream for me,” he kisses you one last time before reaching a hand to pull your hair slightly, not going too hard in case you don’t like it, but you love it. Your moans grew louder as you feel yourself cumming around his fingers, your cries echoing through the clearing. His fingers continue, but slow down slightly to ride you through your high. You shove your face into his neck, kissing it as you feel his fingers slow to a stop.

You pull your head from his neck, looking him in the face. He stares into your eyes as he slides his fingers out from you, bringing them to his mouth, sucking your juices off of them. He leans in to kiss you, you can taste yourself on him, his tongue. You bring your hang down, feeling him rock hard in his jeans. You help him undo his belt, pulling his cock out, feeling the precum on his tip. He moans at your touch, his grip on you tightens as you rub him. “I didn’t bring anything with me, this wasn’t my immediate plan,” he whispers to you, kissing you softly. “I’m on birth control, and I’m clean,” you whisper back. “So am I,” he kisses you again, running his fingers through your hair.

He disconnects your lips, raising himself to hover above you as he pumps himself a few times. He rubs his tip through your fold one, twice, before sliding himself into your slowly, not wanting to hurt you. You moan as he enters you, adjusting to his size. Once he’s in, he leans back down to you, giving you a second to really adjust to him. He kisses your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth as your moans mix together. After a minute or two, he begins to move. Slowly rocking in and out of you as you cling to him. He laid kisses down your neck, grunting into you. His hips slowly gaining pace, you moan as you tighten your hold on him. Your hands gripping his shoulders, moving your hips with his. He places his hands on each side of your head, moving one to up your face. “F-faster…please,” you plead softly as you look up at him. He quickens his pace slightly, “need me to go faster? If you want me to do that, you need to speak to me clearly sweetheart,” he says down to you. You can barely think, it’s been so long since you’ve been with someone, especially someone like Rhett. “Please go faster, Rhett. Please”

He lowers himself down to you, his lips touching yours, but not kissing you. Holding you close he says, “say my name, call it out. Let everyone know who has you, who is doing this to you?” He quickens his pace, a hand in your hair and a hand holding your leg to him. “R-rhett! Fuck, Rhett!” you scream, your voice echoing through the field. You grab at his hair, pulling it as he slams into you. You hold each other as you move together. You felt the knot tighten once more, your moans growing louder. His moans grew with yours. He can feel you near your orgasm, his hand going to rub your clit. “Rhett” you started to beg, “cum for me, baby. I can feel you, please cum for me,” he says. You became undone before him, screaming his name into the air, holding him close to you as you shake under his touch. He follows you shortly after, grunting and moaning into your neck. He slows his hips down to ride the both of you through your highs.

You look up to the dark sky, seeing the constellations and the stars that surrounded the two of you. You could only hear your breaths along with the noises of the wildlife around you. The two of you felt so close to each other and the earth, one with nature.

He looks up at you, meeting your eyes. “This isn’t how I planned this, y’know? I was gonna take you out to somewhere nice, do it in an actual bed and not a blanket in a field,” he said softly. You laugh lightly at him, the sweet plan he had for such an intimate time in your relationship. “I don’t know,” you said, “this is pretty nice. A clear night sky, a small chill in the air combatting with body heat. I’d take this over a nice dinner any day.” He laughs with you, kissing you softly as you laid in each other’s arms. You knew that you needed to get up so that he could take you home before you fall asleep here. But you can’t bring yourself to get out of his arms or tell him different. For now, you lay in your peaceful little world to yourselves. The two of you forever, as it should be

people you might like to be tagged: @waytoomanyfandomss @fairyheart

[teufelsabbiss]

Story-idea: Liǔ Qīnggē secretly has demonic ancestry

Liǔ Qīnggē/Shěn Qīngqiū

The Liǔ Clan has a secret that is so well kept that not even all family members know about it. In the early days of the Clan's founding, they had a staggeringly large number of people who had affairs or marriages with high ranked demons and resulting demonic offspring.

The whole family upholds a deeply ingrained creed of valiant righteousness and honor, which makes this ancestry not only baffling, but also hard to suspect for outsiders. By now, the demonic genes are so diluted that it's pretty much undetectable and of no consequence for most. However, a lot of the Liǔ Clan members develop preferences, habits and behaviors that rather closely resembles demon behavior - if one knows what to look for. Every few generations there might be offspring where this is especially distinct.

Liǔ Qīnggē is such a case.

Joining Bai Zhan was a perfect fit for his constant lust for battle and the need to roam the land to search for prey. Bai Zhan was also known for rough treatment of everyone since its founding, so beating up his disciples for training and asserting dominance is seen as perfectly fine. His arrogant, blunt brusqueness is not necessarily liked by all of his fellow peak lords, but easy enough to accept as quirk. Rising to the bait Shěn Qīngqiū threw at him every single time and obsessively seeking sparring sessions with his despised martial sibling was always very troublesome and concerning, though.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief after Shěn Qīngqiū had a Qi-deviation that changed him so much that he even saved his rival's life in the Lingxi caves. Everyone with the exception of their sect leader, who always wants to think the best of Shěn Qīngqiū no matter what, is surprised by this. Liǔ Qīnggē is even grateful enough to take on the duty of helping Shěn Qīngqiū to clear his meridians regularly after he got poisoned and they spend time together without devolving into insults and fighting. Everyone thinks, now that the two buried their hatred, all would finally be peaceful.

Liǔ Qīnggē gets weirder instead.

Weird enough for his fellow peak lords to notice and worry, most of all Yuè Qīngyuán and Mu Qingfang. He's dropping monster carcasses on Shěn Qīngqiū's lawn as if he wants to drown him in them! And while the idea behind it is really nice, since these monster's parts are good for cultivation and therefore helpful in general and for the now poisoned Qing Jing peak lord in particular, the way Liu Qingge does it is pretty disturbing. Giving Shen Qingqiu the extracted parts in a qiankun bag or box would be the normal thing to do. It's entirely unhinged to plonk down a whole, gruesomely chopped up, still dripping carcass! Frankly, Mu Qingfang understands why Shěn Qīngqiū was worried whether that was a threat at first (especially with their history).

His insistence on accompanying him on missions and night hunts is noted as commendable concern at first. Sending someone along to make sure the poison isn't acting up is sensible and Yuè Qīngyuán wouldn't have it any other way. The sect leader is glad they get along so well now. But Liǔ Qīnggē gets weirdly aggressive and restless whenever someone else is picked. Until he one day right-out growls like a demonic beast and demands to be on the mission as well. It's a minor, harmless one, too! Poor Shang Qinghua, who was originally assigned, nearly faints and fears he'd be ripped to shreds unless they take him with them. He's assigned automatically after that.

Wei Qingwei checked Liu Qingge for possession and is very sure he's himself. Qi Qingqi and other peak lords checked for curses and also came up negative. It's incredibly tempting to make fun of Liǔ Qīnggē for having a crush on his former rival and resident lecherous scum. But Liǔ Qīnggē's explosive reaction to the teasing is startling and causes more effort to identify hidden curses or well-concealed possessions. Still negative. Their Bai Zhan war god might just be really crazy after all! Maybe they need to have an eye on that...

That he always finds and returns the fans Shěn Qīngqiū leaves behind in his new forgetfulness is noted and seen as rather cute. Until people realize he has memorized each fan the man owns and zeroes in on any he sees lying around like a blood hound who finds wounded prey in his territory. And that he viciously snarls at anyone else who dares to pick them up or offers to return them. It's a lot less cute then.

At that point everyone is worried about this and that he might snap and cause havoc in the brothel. Because, really, he says he's not in love with Shěn Qingqiu. But what else could this be, other than a disturbingly obsessive crush? Luckily, Shěn Qīngqiū stopped visiting the brothels after his last big Qi-deviation. Surprisingly, Liǔ Qīnggē is very adamant about having been wrong about him and these visits, because supposedly Shěn Qīngqiū was there for completely different reasons than sex. He knows better now, he questioned the prostitutes.

As weird as that statement sounds, this very much means he already went there to interrogate the poor prostitutes like a jealous lover after all! At this point, no one is sure it would've ended well if the prostitutes had told him something else.

It's high time they do something! Yuè Qīngyuán is delicately questioning Shěn Qīngqiū whether Liǔ Qīnggē acts in an uncomfortably untoward way around him. It's a huge relief that he apparently doesn't. Yuè Qīngyuán really hopes this stays that way. But it's extremely troubling how oblivious Shěn Qīngqiū is about Liǔ Qīnggē's obvious interest and resulting unhinged behavior. If they didn't know better, thanks to Hong Jing and the various other tests they made by now, one could think Liǔ Qīnggē was replaced by a demon.

After receiving a very concerned and insistent shovel talk from his sect leader, Liǔ Qīnggē vents his frustration about this unwarranted warning to his sister. Who questions him on the behavior that led to it. And promptly facepalms really hard. Then points out to her dear, beloved idiot-brother that his ancestry is making him act like a stupid demon in heat.

Oh.

Oh...

Now that he realized what's going on and how he behaved, he begrudgingly realizes that he likely was interested before too. Fighting someone until they submit is a part of demon courtship after all. To his shame and regret, he just never connected the dots before.

But now that he does, his behavior actually gets better. He stops being aggressive towards his martial siblings. Or rather, it returns to how things were before. As long as they don't poke him. And he declares his feelings to Shěn Qīngqiū and, after hearing that he doesn't believe him, gives him traditionally accepted courting gifts beside the monster carcasses. He may have inherited a lot of the odd, demonic leftover traits from his ancestors and the resulting urge to impress his love interest in certain ways, but he knows how to properly woo someone the normal human way. Time to do that as well!

It gets increasingly harder not to snarl at Shěn Qīngqiū's favorite, spoiled disciple, though. The kid is much too close and impertinent for his tastes around his beloved. He's actually despicably happy when the kid (supposedly) dies during the Immortal Alliance Conference. He luckily manages to successfully hide this, though.

He takes Shěn Qīngqiū on many hunting trips and missions to cheer him up. They get together about two years after the Alliance Conference.

In hindsight, Liǔ Qīnggē wonders whether the courtship could've maybe progressed faster had he realized earlier that Shěn Qīngqiū was 100% convinced Liǔ Qīnggē wasn't into men.

[tallulah477]

ℐ𝒮𝕖𝕖 ℛ𝕖𝕕

Colors of Pandora Day 1: Red

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Na’vi!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Character Death/Love Interest Death, Grief, Anger/Rage, Illusions to Sex (but no actual smut), Mentions of blood

Word Count: 641

A/N: I pictured Neteyam while writing this but his name is never actually mentioned so you can probs picture whoever you want.

Translations:

Tawtute - Human

You think red is a powerful color - vast in its expression and eclectic with its meaning.

You see red in the honor of battle.

The thick, pigmented paint swirling stark and proud patterns along the bodies of your brothers and sisters, a visual representation of your bravery to protect The People from anyone or anything that wishes you harm. The sight of the paint against your skin makes you sick, the image of it on your fellow clan members like a mirror of what might happen in battle makes your stomach twist, acid rising in your throat the more you look at it. There’s no calmness in the color. No serenity or stillness. It’s bold and heated, exploding with emotion - meant to ignite action. Your home is being threatened, the people you care about are in danger.

He’s in danger.

Sometimes you can think the color might be pretty. When the faint red peeks against his skin, a reminder of the nights you’ve shared together. You see red in the passion he shows you, the passion and uncontainable desire he pulls from you in return. And despite any nerves or reservations you might have felt, he’s the only one who’s ever made you feel safe enough to express it. The pure raw emotion that you’ve never felt before, but that feels way too intense to contain anymore. Red bleeds out in the love you both share - the heated kisses and the shielded hugs, the way his arms wrap around you like an impenetrable shelter that no other force could ever breach.

You see red in the way the whites of his eyes haze over when the world becomes too much for him to handle. He’s confident, a mighty warrior, but he is not without fear or worry. He trusts you. And in the early mornings or late nights when everyone else is sleeping, he curls up into your side, pulling you close to him and nuzzling into your embrace. Heavy sobs wrack his body, and the amber of his eyes are surrounded by red.

The paint markings on The People’s bodies lose their symbolism when they’re replaced with their brighter and less strategically placed twin. You watch as your brothers and sisters fall in battle, fighting with all they have to protect their home and yet somehow it's still not enough. Blood paints the battlefield an endless sea of red, both enemy and friend’s alike. You can’t find him - can’t find him amongst the multitudes of bodies and metal demons, and the desperation feels like it's trying to crawl out from your throat.

And then you see him, across the field and locked in combat with one of the metal demons. The tawtute inside the machine is fierce, the large knife in its hand furiously swiping at your love’s body, trying to slice any part of him it can. He’s fiercer than it, dodging and shooting arrows at the protective glass cover shielding the tawtute. Despite the force, the arrows never pierce the glass and you can see how tired he’s getting from the constant take take take and no progress. You start to run, needing to get to him, but an anguished scream rips from your throat when the knife he’s spent so much energy avoiding suddenly stabs directly through his chest.

It’s red, all red - blood sliding down his back from the wound, dripping off the blade as the metal demon pulls the knife from your love’s body.

Your eyes track him as he falls to the ground.

He’s not moving.

As you stand there frozen, your soul feeling like it’s already left your body the second your love’s left his, you think you should be seeing blue.

But instead, your eyes cut to the man who just stole your life from you...

...and all you see is red.

**Special thanks to @xylianasblog for the prompt!

Taglist: @eywaite @loaksulluyswife @erenjaegerwifee @f-cklife @beautiful-brown-skin-05 @anastasia1777-blog @localjasmine @skywonder @neteyamswillow @luvv4j4ybe11 @vampirefilmlover @aria-tempest @pocky444 @bambithewriter @xylianasblog

**Comment here to be added to or removed from my taglist!

[satomatto]

. //TK DAYS | NAOYA ZEN'IN.

cw: femdom; bondage; supposedly non-con/dub-con towards the end; Naoya is a bastard and that says it all.

tw: control/submission; brat taming; orgasm control; dry orgasm; semi-public; anal sex; is prostate massage with an armature part of your plans, dear friends? now yes; humiliation; binding; it can be a little incoherent in places; facesitting; foot fetish (a little?); Naoya is a bastard x2.

wc: 3.2k

Your fingers gently run over the rough rope. The quiet, sweet breathing right next to you is relaxing. The pretty face is surprisingly calm. A little off-putting. And after all, this guy is cute only when he's asleep - the muscles of his face are soft and relaxed, and his mouth isn't spewing tons of nasty, barbed words that spread through you like poison.

The airy lace shirt, you know that silly pink thing makes him drool. He'd prefer to fuck you without taking it off and then jerk you off for weeks, clutching it in his fist and reaching for it with every fiber of his worthless soul until the smell wears off.

It's truly disgusting to watch it from behind the screen. While he's sure you still don't suspect a thing. Oh yeah, sure, the bastard moans loud and high while he does it - it's impossible not to realize what's going on during these 'meditation' sessions in the back room of the clan mansion. It's worth giving him credit, he's actually more focused afterward. As befits a worthy Zenin heir.

And, as befits a worthy bride of a Zenin heir, you're doing a pretty good job of keeping him in line. After you came into his life and followed him around, he became much more balanced, which is surprising to everyone. You've heard a few thank yous from the servants. You know, the assistant Zenin personal chef adores you. And your personal maid, who was begging to be transferred somewhere - even demoted, expecting you to treat her like Naoya - is now willing to die for this place.

Good food is never too much to ask for, though, is it? And always clean clothes and royal-level service at the snap of your fingers comes in handy most of the time, too. Besides, access to the gossip going around between the clans and in this cursed place comes in handy too.

For example, that's how you found out that Naoya has a small altar in his room dedicated to a man named Toji. Fushiguro was once a Zenin, and after a couple fateful interactions, little Naoya made him his ideal - in fact, even without going into details, you find the man worthy of respect, but Naoya… He's always been the odd one. Anyway, since this place was never built on such high feelings, like a respect, it's a sin not to take advantage of another of his weaknesses - that's the extra pressure points, right?

But, uh, can't you just throw away all your trump cards? Nope, and that's the only reason you're not talking right now. Yes, sometimes it's worth it to stick your tongue up your ass to enjoy watching others bury their heads in the sand, luckily for you, Naoya wasn't good at shutting up in time, but isn't that more fun?

Looking at him makes you think about so many things and it does make you want to try to mess with him in much more subtle ways, but at the moment you should stick to your plan. It's too early to cross the line. Boundaries need to be pushed first, then broken.

You know, it's pretty sweet. What a blatant variety - the sheer volume of curses he heaps on you (the only thing his generosity shows, merit note) while his cock desperately jerks and leaking thick, translucent pre-ejaculate profusely. He's already soiled his expensive clothes and is now whimpering at your feet like some dirty dog.

"Doesn't your pretty mouth know how to do anything else?" you mock him. He'd said the same thing to you once, one of your first nights, and you hadn't had much experience in bed, either, since most of your interactions had been limited to fingering and the porn the maid had shown you.

It's not something a noble lady can do, but in the end, you had to - after you were put up as collateral, you had to gain the trust of the heir.

So all your family's debts were forgotten as a wedding present. Still, thanks to this performance, you remain relatively free, so it's not like you regret what you've done.

Especially because the heir to the clan himself turned out to be such a whore.

The soft slippers you usually wear - you wish you'd changed them for high-heeled shoes. Preferably with a platform, the kind that would smear that pretty face on the garden tiles where he's lying tied up and helpless.

With a sharp tug on the ropes, you struggle to get this carcass to sit up and turn around, safely ignoring his protests.

Still, he should be quieter. Just because you dragged him to an abandoned, albeit neat barn, doesn't mean he can yell as usual and go unnoticed.

What a shame for the heir to the clan to cry out for help while in such a humiliating position. He knows how quickly rumors spread, and his frankly vile nature doesn't help his position as a victim. He'll be laughed at - there's no other way to put it!

Either way, he shuts up pretty quickly when your foot rests against his lips. Maybe fuzzy slippers really weren't the best choice - he'll choke on it. Fine, though, because in one elegant motion, you drop the slipper, which lands quite successfully nearby.

You flirt with his lips one last time. Well, he must not be ready for that yet.

So, you gently slide your foot lower, rubbing your fingertips through his clothes.

The very next second, you step on, placing your foot flat and causing him to topple backwards, hitting his head painfully on the wooden bench behind him. Watch as the idiot shakes his hips, looking for a better footing to keep from falling over.

The way he looks at you in that moment is priceless. There's so much helplessness in that fleeting contact that is immediately replaced by a contrived coldness afterward. He doesn't like restrictions. Also, he's never let you be on top, eh, complexes, complexes… Well, you'll have a blast now.

What are you thinking about, running your little foot over his cock? Not that you're going to get dirty in it too. And this pedicure was only recently done… But it's too late to back out.

Pretty warm for late summer, isn't it? The way Naoya's moans resonate in your crotch makes you redouble your efforts. Your position isn't very stable, especially because of the way he wiggles his hips to the beat, letting out another dirty moan, followed immediately by a filthy curse in a language you don't know. Well, at least it sounded vicious enough….

How nice - Naoya manages to come to his senses again and gets into that prickly shell again, spitting out another insult in your direction. He's starting to get repetitive in them. It seems even this rambunctious boy has limits; or he's just lost the ability to think clearly already, which is just as likely.

How long do you think it will take for him to soil himself in his own cum, like the dirty dog that he is? Ah, probably quite a while.

Just when you think about it, his pathetic cock begins to throb more tangibly under your leg, like a butterfly trapped in a cage (too elegant a comparison), and alas he's still moaning in a way that so caresses your ears, signaling that he's really close. But, are you going to give him that opportunity? What a freaking pump jump….

Losing your balance a little, your foot slides down, landing right on his balls. He's a big enough boy to be able to support some of your weight, ignore those frustrated-painful moans coming from this pile of incoherent shit. He's looking at you with a pitying stare, out of his clouded eye sockets. He's gonna cry, that poor guy!

At first you thought you'd hurt him somehow, but when you looked down, you saw a charming picture. This one was whining not because he was in discomfort - rather the opposite, he was literally dripping with it.

Ah, yes, that pissy little masochist.

Now you're really wondering what exactly makes him so obsessed with his training. Oh, maybe he even have played with his juicy ass before… In fact, you don't really care if he's had experience. After all, you're always happy to give people an unforgettable time!

The light satin pouch swinging on the delicate silk cord tied around your hips opened to let your delicate fingers in.

You've been planning to use it on him for a while now.

Nice wavy texture, with a very successful seal at the end, still with a comfortable, curved handle - isn't it fabulous? The material is wood. This was hard to find - such good work…. You could tell you were very pleased with your find. Well, it's time to use it on this brat, he's been so quiet, it's almost boring.

As soon as his eyes meet yours, he once again makes a wry face and venomously spouts how disgusted he is to be here, once again demanding to be untied in order to teach you some kind of lesson.

You'd think you'd be that stupid. It's not like he'd think of anything better than just making you taste your own medicine. Though you're both good at that - spitting at each other from the same angle until one of you comes up with something new, and so on and so forth. Kind of ironic.

His cock drooped and now he was only squinting somewhere through you. You didn't like the fact that he was distracted, but for the sake of a brighter future, you could be patient for a while, couldn't you?

Of course, it didn't make you feel any better to listen to the asshole's beautiful, sweet, exceptionally flattering speeches. Your soft, condescending smile won't waver - you've spent so much time perfecting it in the mirror that nothing can shake it now. Yeah, you've definitely been preparing for something like this.

Maybe not specifically for this day - you didn't even expect it to go so smoothly. Maybe our omniscient and ready for anything heir is so used to you that he doesn't even pay attention to your cursed energy anymore? You've heard that everyone has it, but even so, you can't control it. That's sad, because then you'd have so many new opportunities. And danger.

But that makes it even more interesting.

It's also funny that despite all his brave speeches, the proud Zenin still hasn't used his cursed technique that he bragged so much about. Maybe the ropes are in his way, but it's highly doubtful - the most ordinary untreated harnesses, taken a couple of days ago from the same shed.

That leaves only one possibility: he's actually enjoying it, or in other words, getting a real high, isn't he?

Even watching Naoya deal with such a pathetic situation, covered in your juices, his cock leaking more and more, even through the erection ring you so thoughtfully put on, right after he started moaning too loudly, even after your warning. Not that he was a rabbit in bed, despite the fact that he often finished things earlier than you would have liked, he was ready to go for another round almost immediately - he clearly lacked stamina, because he would also finish after a couple of slimy moans and a couple minutes of panting whimpering. You should teach him how to fuck, dear.

Yes, definitely - spread his legs even wider, tying another knot behind his back as he bites his own lips, holding back a heaving moan. He's ready to burst from the fact that you're finally coming down on his cock. The freshly cut grass is actually quite unpleasantly prickly. However, it smells good. Unlike this--

All right, fine, in fact, the master of water procedures knows how to give himself a good bath - with all those silly rituals, he most often emerges from the ofuro with a very pleasant, lingering smell of green tea and honey, among a whole bunch of disparate but surprisingly well-blended scents, even the smell of lavender slips in.

However, even all this splendor wears off after a week of regular training and other delights of a sorcerer's life. And this man is clearly not going to bother with even a simple shower once every three days, so is it worth talking about how he usually smells? Especially when you have to give him oral.

You just can't stand it, even though Naoya himself adopts a cute, wrinkled expression on your face as he stretches your mouth and nips at your throat, trying to get you to take him even deeper. Every time, he feels obligated to fuck you the hardest he can so that the next day you'll wrinkle your nose every time you need to open your mouth, even if he doesn't enjoy it himself. He just likes to see you in pain.

He may know more about clan politics than you do, but you're clearly a bit more educated than someone who spends most of his time as an adult in some sort of training (and even that is questionable now).

He stopped in that regard as soon as he turned sixteen, yes, his manners aren't bad, but still, they leave a lot to be desired, especially compared to you. Well, your former educational institution had high standards.

At the very least, you still have the support of your family and you're not his wife yet, and who's to say they have pride and would rather be up to their ears in bloody debt than let their precious eldest daughter be humiliated into full marriage.

He can't just beat you up, and his bullshit isn't the least bit intimidating, at least not yet, not once, after his next verbal diarrhea, has he ever raised a hand to you. You highly doubt his upbringing played into that. He's not a silent biter.

You pull your panties down to your ankles and pull them off, shoving them deeper into his mouth. So they don't fall out. It would be better to shove them down from your leg for security, but you're more focused now on the idea of how hard his eyes will roll. Will you be able to make him cry? There's no time to waste, because the asshole is starting to realize something - the last thing you need is for him to start squirming.

The smooth wood slides easily between your labia, collecting your natural lubrication. Yes, it may be not enough, even over the top, especially for someone who has never tried anything like this before. But, somehow, you don't care. Like he once did.

You can still remind him of the time that bastard brazenly spit in your crotch and ignoring your willingness to do it, he put it all the way in, holding your arms above your head with a steely grip.

Oh, and afterward he was so complimentary about the way your walls clenched around him that you'd think he actually liked it, pfft. You remember perfectly well how hard it was for him to move.

Here, even Naoya, the speed himself, somehow lasted longer than five minutes, all the while panting and twitching every time you clamped down because of the unpleasant sensations down there, intentionally or not. After that, he left in unhappy, snorting unhappily.

Oh, you'd forgotten how beautiful the moments were when he was silent. As you shifted him into a horizontal position, you realized that you hadn't really thought about picking up more proper knots.

It's going to be a little uncomfortable, but it's too late to back out - not when you've already done it all. You want to get to the end, and Naoya will to remember this day.

As you thought about how to push the toy in, you were totally oblivious to Naoya. You might have been a little lost in your own thoughts, but without even realizing it, you were playing with your pussy, gently collecting your juices on the toy. Well, there was nowhere to get lube anyway (and even though initially you wanted to limit yourself to spit, such a vulnerable view could not help but inspire lustful thoughts).

The guy below was literally seething, and why wouldn't he be? Hovering right over him, you were literally giving him the VIP-seats to this voyeur.

It's amazing how you didn't think of that before. He was scrutinizing your curves so closely that you couldn't even think about the admiration your body aroused in him - only senseless lust could move him, of course. Such a graceful figure, skillful hands… Ah, no wonder he likes to watch you so much - to tell you the truth, you'd do the same if you were him.

The moans coming out through his gag were music to your ears. Couldn't have been more charming.

Well, it's time for dessert. You squat down, getting comfortable on his chest and playfully wiggling your hips, teasing him even more, you spread his legs. He still doesn't understand that you want to give him the slip - poor guy. so naive… Locking the knots so that he can't move the hips at the worst possible moment, flattening your head like a watermelon, you return to his crotch.

Gently, just touching the overexcited, sensitive cock, you gently move lower and lower, smearing your secretions all over his ass. He seems to start to realize what's going on - through the half-drunk fog of arousal. he starts to move his hips indignantly, really only helping you to push the dildo into his anus.

A light flick on his engorged cock is enough to make him shriek and hastily shut up in a rag. Literally.

The ribbed walls of the wooden dildo graze his entrance with startling frequency. You might not be too rough on him, it's not to your advantage - that's an easier way to phrase it.

After a couple of thrusts, you get the feeling that he has a vacuum cleaner in his ass, otherwise how then did he create such a powerful pump? Yeah, there are more and more questions to those training sessions, perhaps you should attend one sometime…..

He's wriggling around like some kind of worm. Almost pathetic, but what can you do - you're already tired of it. Perhaps it's time to finish it?

Accelerating your thrusts to the point where your hand starts to go numb, suddenly, stopping, you grab his flushed cock. It feels swollen, as do his balls.

It must be painful? Not being able to get free for so long.

You probably should have tortured him a little longer, made him walk with the ring long enough for him to come crawling back to you, but you've had enough of that already. Nerves are getting the better of you, aren't it?

Such tension - ah, his whole body shakes and arches as you squeeze him lightly at the base.

The muffled click of the lock on the ring sends a wave of satisfaction through your body. Zenin is so sensitive right now, he could cum from your breath-… And that's something you should have thought about a little earlier. Or at least realize how hard it's been on him all this time. Probably should have brought tissues, though… What do you need them for when you have such an adorable mouth around? Should you get him to clean you? Oh, no, you've got a better idea.

Sliding closer to his face, still wiggling your hips and never stopping generously jerking him off, you position your ass roughly where his mouth is. From the sounds of it, the heir managed to spit out your makeshift gag the moment you sat on him. Come on, you're not that heavy, but apparently it was just too much for some people - heavy breathlessness is a testament to that.

At first you thought he wouldn't have thought of it on his own, because he'd never been brilliantly intelligent - brazen, maybe, but now that his brains were leaking out through his cock (and still soaking into his clothes), he was unable to form the simplest coherent sentence, making only scraps of sounds that should be… Words?

However, his tongue was between your legs pretty quickly, desperately playing with your entrance and engaging your clit. Maybe you cost each other, finally deciding to pull the dildo out of his ass, with a distinctive pop, slowly pulling out and yanking sharply when there were only millimeters left; you come to the point where you can't reuse it.

Not wanting to put the dirty toy away in that lovely pouch, you toss it into the nearest bushes, getting comfortable on the guy's face beneath you. As far as you can remember, this part of the garden will barely be reached by Friday, so you have plenty of time.

Ah, turns out this prick is really good at this. Perhaps you shouldn't have underestimated him and his complaints about you aren't so unfounded? But, he hasn't given you a hint of that until now, so… It's not enough to have talent - you have to know how to use it.

And now you've found the perfect use for it.

Even though it's a little selfish, you ignore his whimpering - on edge, you decide that a slight asphyxiation wouldn't hurt him. After all, he's only shown his best feelings for pain before.

With a loud groan, you move all over the surface available to you, rubbing your pussy all over his face, and finally soiling him with your juices, you move up and get, by your own admission, the best look on his face today.

All wet, slimy stuff, greedily gulping air with his mouth like a beached fish, tongue out and eyes rolled back in delight. His cock seems to twitch again, but this time nothing comes out of it - the guy's body shakes with spasms and he struggles desperately on the ground, trying in vain to get out of the ropes and uncomfortable position.

To think what you've driven him to - what a bad girl, eh! And exactly the same thinks the unfortunate man who came out of that damned house at such a late hour…

[yamayuandadu]

Do you know why Abe-no-Seimei became so popular compared to any other onmyoji in folklore and literature? Is it because of who wrote his stories or something else?

There is no single clear answer. It seems safe to say there are multiple interconnected factors at play. 

Seimei’s real career was genuinely extraordinary in some regards. To begin with, it was unusually long. He was around 85 years old when he passed away, and historical sources would indicate that he was still fairly active in old age (in fact, most references to him which are fully verifiable come from the second half of his life). Shin’ichi Shigeta actually argues here that Seimei's longevity in no small part contributed to cementing his legend.

However, it’s hard to argue that the times when Seimei lived were not a factor in its own right too. Institutional backing was no longer the sole reason behind the relevance of individual onmyōji. As I discussed in my recent article, by the middle of the tenth century their clientele expanded. And to find new clients, personal charisma was necessary. The shift started slightly earlier already but it doesn’t seem like the likes of Shigeoka no Kawahito or Kamo no Tadayuki left quite as much of an impression as Seimei and his contemporary Kamo no Yasunori in the long run. Legends do deal with earlier onmyōji at times, or rather reinvent earlier figures, especially Kibi no Makibi, as onmyōji, but this is often merely a way to make Seimei’s or Yasunori’s deeds appear even more amazing by making them a part of centuries old legacies (granted, standalone tales of Makibi appear for example in Konjaku Monogatari already).

Seimei’s personal influence is evident in the fact that he seemingly was responsible for popularizing formerly obscure Taizan Fukun no sai as one of the main onmyōdō rituals (check Shigeta’s article above for more specific evidence). Note that this was a performance so popular the early medieval reinterpretation of Amaterasu was in no small part driven by efforts to make her fit into rituals similar to it and Enmaten-ku. There’s also evidence that Seimei had an impact on the popularity of tsuina, a ceremony originally held only in the court but later also in private houses of nobles which served as a forerunner of modern setsubun. 

The Abe clan remained influential in official onmyōdō circles long after Seimei’s death, and his heirs obviously invoked his fame to validate their own influence. There are texts only compiled after the Heian period which were attributed to him, such as Hoki Naiden. This obviously further contributed to the spread of his legend, making him relevant even as onmyōdō changed.

I don’t think it matters who wrote down the legends though, at least not before the Edo period. However, there are at least some individual elements which absolutely became such a mainstay of modern portrayals of Seimei because of the fame of specific authors who introduced and/or popularized them. A good example would be the Kuzunoha story, which was only invented in the 1600s and attained popularity because of Ryōi Asai’s Abe no Seimei Monogatari (I am not aware of any older legend claiming Seimei was not fully human, unless you want to count the Shuten Dōji variants presenting him as a manifestation of Kannon or Nagarjuna).  Another thing which comes to mind as an example of influence of specific works of fiction is portraying Dōman as older than Seimei, which is a convention started by Edo period theatrical performances as far as I know. Dōman's historical counterpart was pretty obviously younger (granted, there's also no evidence he interacts with Seimei). He was still active three years after Seimei’s death, and there’s no indication he was somehow 90+ years old. 

Bit of a digression but it’s worth noting Dōman isn’t Seimei’s only rival in the early stories, in Konjaku Monogatari he also faces a certain “fearsome fellow” named Chitoku who does seem to be older than him. He is an unlicensed onmyōji and comes from Harima, so it's easy to draw parallels with Dōman. However, they aren’t really similar characters; while Dōman is pretty firmly portrayed as a shady figure - a curse specialist first and foremost - Chitoku actually seems to utilize his skills to deal with pirates troubling his area. He just learns he’s a big fish in a small pond after unsuccessfully challenging Seimei. Still, I wonder if the two may have merged at some point in popular imagination.

[snippychicke]

For the Sake of a Smile (V.2) Chapter Eight

Title: For the Sake of a Smile (Revised)

Overall Rating: Mature (18+)

Chapter Rating: T for teen.

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond the child abuse hinted in the series, though we do explore the consequences a bit more.

Main Pairing: Balam Shichiro/Reader

Summary: Hell on earth was your motto for your job. Granted, you were pretty sure earth really was hell, considering the shit you had seen in your life. And the fact your coworker was a child. 

A child named Suzuki Iruma, in fact. A kid who’s life was decidedly worse than yours, but yet he smiled despite everything. It wasn’t long after meeting him that you decided you’d do a lot for his smile. Including summoning a literal demon and signing your soul away.

But as it turns out, hell (The Netherworld, actually) was a lot better than living on earth. Demons were more humane than a lot of humans you knew.

And Iruma’s smile wasn’t the only one that would change your life.

Masterlist | Ao3| Mairimashitai! Simps Discord

Just a little walk, you had told yourself. Just far enough where you could growl and seethe in peace without anyone worrying about an evil cycle that would never come. 

You had made sure the tent was still in sight before ducking behind a tree. And you were sure you didn't move as you sat there, your thoughts a chaotic whirlwind in your head. First rage, then the ache of betrayal. Anxiety. Depression.

How could everything just fall apart like this?

Yes you'd like Balam, far more than you should. You were attracted to every piece of him, inside and out. 

But there was no doubt in your mind that he would never --could never-- feel the same for you. You were 'incredibly precious' to him only because you were human. You held the knowledge he had been after for who-knew how long. He would never see you in a romantic way, let alone…

Well, in the way you desired him. 

You scrubbed away the tears as determination took root. You knew about the rumor, so you could set about correcting it. First by talking with Raim and Momonoki and telling them that despite whatever they heard, it was wrong. There was nothing between you and Balam.

You stood and marched around the tree…

Only to freeze.

--+--

Balam returned to the main camp in the early hours of the morning. He was more than a bit tired from using his mana all night, but still eager to take you up on your offer from the night before. It had been far too long since he was able to have you all to himself. Where he was able to focus on you and nothing else. 

He had found a relatively safe place not too far from camp that he could take you for a quick breakfast picnic. A small clearing filled with benign flora, where the sunlight was able to break through the canopy. It would be a perfect place to share a meal with you.

Except, you weren't at the desk tallying the students' points as he expected. Instead Dali had taken your place, a faint frown on the other teacher's face. 

"Oh! Balam!" The head teacher greeted as Balam approached. "You haven't seen Ms Suzuki, have you?"

 "No. How long has she been absent?" Balam asked, hoping he didn't sound as panicked as he felt. Especially considering how high the stack Dali was working on compared to where you had been keeping it under control.  

"Well, she said she was stepping out for some fresh air last night," He admitted. "But no one has seen her since. We had hoped maybe she was roped into helping some student through the night, given her nature."

Balam felt cold. No one had seen you since last night? "Did she go to one of the rest tents? Or one of the others?" You wouldn't go into the woods. You knew better than that. You wouldn't be so foolish.

Right?

"If she did, no one recalls seeing her. Though perhaps she's like the Purson clan? Still, I wouldn't expect her to abandon her post without…"

Dali looked up, but Balam was already gone. 

--+--

Balam tore through the camp of tents in increasing panic. His fear only grew every time someone denied seeing you.

You knew the dangers of the forest. How many times had you promised him that you would be careful? That you wouldn't leave the camp? He had worried so much about you being part of the festival, but you had done so much to reassure you wouldn't leave that he had begun to believe you. 

But here you were, only the second day, and you were missing. There were so many beasts and fauna that would love prey such as yourself. Things that you had no way of defending yourself against. You weren't skilled enough yet with your Runes to even protect yourself properly. 

He forced himself to calm down and focus. He had to trust you. You were an adult, fully matured and aware of the dangers. You knew you were weak compared to the rest of the Netherworld, and guarded your secret carefully.

First things first, he had to find you. Balam allowed his mana to spread, just as he did through the night when checking on the students. A trick he had developed over the years of searching for creatures and keeping tabs on students. 

Except this time he was focusing on your strange mana. He had made sure to take note of it when you showed off your budding skills with the Runes. If demons were specks of light, you were a speck of darkness against the void. It was an odd allegory, but it was the best way to describe it. 

And if it had been hard to sense before, it was even harder to sense among the noise of the forest that was alive with other stronger sources of magic. To the point Balam nearly missed the small point of darkness, your mana far fainter than normal. 

Which did nothing to help his anxiety.

Balam could feel the fringes of an Evil-Cycle try to settle over his mind and resisted against the feeling --as well as the changes-- that came with it while he raced in your direction. 

You weren't far, thank Devi; barely passed the tree line, in fact. He called your name, hope blossoming as he rushed towards where you should be. He expected you to appear; maybe confused by his panic or smiling and completely unaware of the turmoil you had caused.

Except, you didn't.

He couldn't even see you despite knowing you had to be close. Balam could smell you at this point -- or rather Sullivan's masking cologne -- among the floral scents. Yet there was nothing but more trees leading to the depth of the  forest.

 It was by pure happenstance that he noticed the small white flowers on the hill of moss. Curled against one of the trees. Moss that wasn't benign. 

'Creeping sleep' sphagnum. 

'Shit.' Balam swore to himself. Instinct wanted to tear the moss with his talons, rage building that the plant would dare attack you. Yet he knew it was impossible to tell how thick it was, from less than a hair's breadth to a few inches.  And he couldn't dare hurt you. Never mind your blood would make the situation worse, but the thought of even accidentally causing you harm made him ill. 

So instead he knelt and used his hands to tear through the moss. At least the sphagnum didn't actively kill its victims, but caused them to fall asleep while it drained their mana.

 It was small flowers that were the dangerous part. Or rather, the insects that they attracted. It wasn't a pleasant death, with the victims weakened by the mana-eating moss to the point that when they woke from being bitten by the flesh-eating bugs, they could hardly move let alone fight off the swarm.

--+--

The forest was empty of life, or at least any demons you associated with safety. There was something in the shadows of the trees, watching you. Hunting you as you ran. 

And you had ran for hours upon hours yet never found a place to hide. Or the end of the forest despite knowing you hadn't traveled that far. 

Or had you? Were you running away from civilization? Running deeper and deeper into the woods? So far no one would find you? 

Then suddenly you were lifted up. You fought instinctively against whatever was holding you, your breath coming out in gasps making it so you couldn't even scream. You slapped and kicked as you were pulled against something far larger than yourself.

"Shh, it's okay." Balam’s voice soothed, cutting through the panic and fear. "It's okay, I promise." 

You belatedly realized he was the one holding you. His hand buried in your hair as he clutched you tight to his chest. You weren't sure if it was his heart beat you were hearing, or your own thundering wildly. You didn't care. You were safe. 

Distantly you could hear the sounds of the others. The forest was still a gloom but not as dark and terrifying as it had been seconds before

Was that-- had that all been a dream? But still you remembered everything so clearly! Getting up to go back to the camp and finding nothing. Panicking as you searched and searched for someone, anyone.

"Are you hurt?" Balam asked, though not pulling away. If anything, he clutched you tighter at the mere idea. 

"No, I-I'm fine," You murmured against his chest, allowing your hands to clutch to him as you relaxed against him. You were tired, feeling like you really had run all night but otherwise you…

Wait. All night. 

It was obviously day, with faint sunlight trickling through the heavy canopy. What you had meant to be a quick break to gather yourself had become an all night escapade apparently. 

"I have to get back to work!" You tried to pull away but Balam was holding you tight and was unwilling to budge. "Balam…"

"Why?" He asked, interrupting you. "You promised."

You didn't even need him to clarify, you knew what he meant. Your conversation with Momonoki rang in your memory. Guilt and embarrassment rush through your veins. You didn't mean to worry anyone, but…

The Rumor. 

Balam slowly pulled away, and you could see the emotions in his dark eyes. The remains of worry, the hurt of your broken promise. 

"I…" You started hesitantly, unsure what to say. You were aware of his bloodline ability; if you lied, he would know instantly.

But how could you explain what made you do something so foolishly without thinking? That you took that risk because you were too emotional? That the cause of those emotions essentially boiled down to a rumor that you and him were an item. 

That it flustered you because of how you felt for him despite knowing that he didn't see you in the same light. 

"I just needed some space," You answered. It was true, after all. Just not the whole truth. "I didn't go far… I thought it would be okay." 

"Nowhere in this forest is safe. Especially for you," He chided, "my little human. " 

Your heart thumped traitorously, convinced it was a term of endearment. But it wasn't. You knew it wasn't. His interest in you was solely because you were human. 

"I'm sorry," You repeated. He allowed you to pull away this time, though he stayed knelt on the forest floor while you stood. You avoided his gaze, tried to pretend not to notice he was prepared to act if you showed the smallest hint of weakness. 

He was a researcher, and you were his prize specimen. That was all.

You made a show of dusting off your black coat - which was covered in dirt - but also a convenient excuse to linger until the world stopped spinning. There was worry still in his expression, even as you smiled reassuringly.

"Come on, we both have work to do."

--+--

Oddly no one asked what happened or seemed bothered by your prolonged absence. Dali was gracious enough to help you catch up on tickets, cheerfully talking about past harvest festivals as.you worked. 

All the while Balam virtually hovered nearby, trying to act like he wasn't keeping an eye on you but failing miserably.

"He won his harvest festival," Dali said after catching you side-eying Balam. "It was actually quite surprising. Babyls students weren't as… friendly as they are now. The students spent most of the festival manipulating and stealing from one another. Everyone's focus was on keeping students from accidently dying while thinking whomever was the most devious would win. But then came little wiry Balam Shichiro with nearly sixty-thousand points right before the end." 

"Little?" You laughed trying to imagine Balam as a child and failing he was just so big! Tall…buff, yet oddly soft and soothing…

'Quit it!' You chided yourself, focusing back on your work.

"Oh yes. He was actually quite small and adorable back then," Dali continued with the impish tone that didn't bode well. "He could have been a devidol as a child except for his face."

Your stomach twisted partly to think that he had been injured at a young age, partly… "I'm sure his face was just as adorable then as it is now," You said without thinking, proverbial feathers ruffled on his behalf as you turned.to Dali. 

And realized the trap when Dali's smile became faintly wicked. "So you have seen his face, and find him adorable?"

"Well! N-not adorable persay, but not bad looking!" You spluttered before quickly trying to defend yourself. "And yes, I have heard the rumor! And no, there isn't anything between us!" 

"That's a shame," He sighed dramatically to the point you had a feeling he didn't believe you. "You two would be so cute together."

You were sure your face was as flushed as could be. "I-I need something to drink!" You squeaked as you jumped to your feet, Dali's laughter chasing you out the tent. 

You barely took a breath of the fresh air before a shadow fell over you.  "I'm just going to get something from the canteen," You told Balam without looking up. "You don't need to worry so much." 

"You're looking rather red. I was worried about a fever or something," He explained. It was easy for him to step around you and crouch to study your face. He reached out and felt your forehead for a fever, making your heart jump even more. 

Why? Why did he have to be so thoughtful and caring? You hadn't the faintest idea how he wasn't one of most loved demons at Babyls with a fanclub of his own like Professor Kalego. 

"You do feel warmer than usual," He mused. 

You bit your lip and pulled his hand away from your face, though your fingers tangling with his. "I promise, I'm fine. Just a little overheated." 

He didn't look too convinced, and was likely going to argue until Kalego called both of your names. You hoped he would convince Balam to stop hovering. Because as much as you secretly liked the attention, it was probably only incriminating both of you. 

And it was definitely not helping you squish your own feelings. 

"Have either of you seen Iruma?" Kalego continued with his trademark scowl on his face. 

"Er, no?" Both you and Balam answered, with the same tone of confusion as well. After all, Iruma was participating in the festival, why or how would you've seen him? 

Granted, there were the camera-bats, but you hadn't been able to check any of the Misfits progress since returning. 

"Why?" Balam continued as Kalego's scowl deepened. "Has he done something?"

"Something idiotic, more than likely," Kalego scoffed. "Lied has somehow managed to find The Pot, so I presume that means Iruma is searching for The Seed. However, it's been over twelve hours since any sightings of the boy."

Your heart dropped, your previous flustered state completely forgotten. No one had seen Iruma in how long?! 

Balam scooped you up before you could move, one arm beneath your knees and the other supporting your back. His mind wasn't frozen with shock like your own, and you didn't even need to question why he  picked you up. 

Because your mind went from being frozen to running a thousand thoughts per second; all of them of the same concept. 

Find Iruma. Assure he was safe. And Balam would not be a fan of that plan. 

"Balam," You growled, "let me go find my son." 

"The cambats wouldn't follow him if he was close to the Seed. But we did place safety measures to assure any students wouldn't be in too much danger. He'll be okay." 

You frowned, partially feeling as if he was just saying that to try and calm you. But you saw Kalego nod his head faintly in agreement, though a frown still remained on his face. After all, why would he be concerned if there wasn't a reason. 

"It shouldn't have taken this long," Kalego stated. "Even if he failed the trial, he should have appeared by now." 

Something was wrong. Something had happened and no one had noticed until now. You could only imagine one disaster after another, each worse than the last. 

This had been a bad idea. You had wanted to give Iruma space to grow and be himself, so scared to become a helicopter parent. But ever since he had gone on the tuna ship, it had been one disaster after another. 

You needed to protect him, make up for the negligence of his parents. Were you any better than them for allowing him too much freedom? Yes, he was mature for his age and responsible, but this wasn't earth, this was the Netherworld. 

Not that you could do anything. You were even weaker than him, and obviously ill prepared to be a mother or guardian here. 

A tremor shook the forest, Balam's grip on you tightening as he held you close to his chest. It was like something snapped. Allowing your fears and anxiety overwhelm you as you clutched to Balam. 

You had failed Iruma. You had sworn and signed a contract to protect him as a mother and you failed. 

No, this was deeper than the contract you had signed with Sullivan, you really felt as if Iruma was your son, and you had failed him. You had tried so hard and still, look at what happened. You weren't fit to look after a pet, let alone another human being. 

Devi, Iruma. The boy that could smile at anything, would never say no and carried on no matter what kind of responsibility was placed on his tiny shoulder. Probably the most pure, innocent soul. First sold to a demon by his birth parents, and now failed by you. 

Balam called your name a few times, though you felt despondent as reality settled in your mind. The road to hell was paved with good intentions, and here you were to prove it. 

The people in your past were right. You weren't good at anything. All you ever did was fuck thing up, causing one disaster after another, bring only misery and grief to whomever knew you. 

"Lied! I have the Seed of Beginning!"

The familiar voice cut through your darkening thoughts. You looked up; unsure when Balam had carried you back to the tent, and rather uncaring when you saw Iruma on one of the monitors, covered in dirt and a bit scuffed up. But alive. In one piece.

Smiling. He looked so proud and accomplished. 

Your emotions welled in your throat, tears stinging your eyes. 

"He has it," Balam muttered, sounding astonished. "He actually has it."

A small hysterical giggle left your lips, and quickly grew into full blown laughter. "That's my boy. That's my boy!" You buried your face into Balam's chest, still laughing and grinning as you overheard Kalego lecture the boy.

Your panic had been just a short few minutes, but they had been literal hell. Or - worse than hell, to be honest. 

But he was okay. Thank god, Devi, whatever forces were looking out for Iruma. He was okay.

Your laughter came to an abrupt halt with a shriek of surprise as Balam suddenly lifted you up, just one of his arms supporting your hips against his side. You gripped the feathers covering his shoulders, heart once more pounding in your chest as you looked down at him.

He was grinning. Even with the mask covering half his face, there was no hiding the pride and joy on his face. "He's found it! They're going to win!"

Your shock melted away and you grinned back down at him. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rested your forehead against his, both of you laughing with joy.

The emotional whiplash was still playing tricks on you. So overcome with relief you didn't even give a thought to how it might look, only how you felt. Iruma was safe. You were safe. Balam was sharing your happiness, which only intensified the bond you felt for him. 

He cared for your son, joyous on Iruma's safe return. More than that, the boy had done the impossible. The Legendary Leaf that had been elusive and rumored to be a myth was now within reach.

"They haven't won yet, you two," Kalego was quick to remind you, breaking the moment. "As long as they still possess the seed and pot, they have zero points."

"Oh shush, you know you're just as relieved," Balam said with fond humor coloring his words and expression as he looked over at the other teacher. "I'm pretty sure your first question was 'are you hurt?'"

"Because I am his teacher!" Kalego defended with a huff. "His safety comes first, that's all!"

The two bickered back and forth good-naturedly, all the while Balam still supported you as if you weighed nothing, his forearm braced your upper thighs to his side. He was so warm; soft yet strong. You could feel his muscles beneath your hands, beneath your backside as you more or less sat on his forearm. Yet, his waist was narrow enough your legs just wanted to wrap around him for extra support. 

You barely stopped yourself from doing so, knowing if you did it would likely only make things worse. Heck, you should probably be demanding to be sat down, but couldn't find the strength. You felt safe like this, which was sorely needed of the emotional rollercoaster. 

You could see over Balam's head as well as everyone else as they either celebrated and chatted about the Leaf or the other antics of the Misfits, or carried on with their work, determined not to dally. It was so odd to see everything from this perspective. Not even more than just a few feet at most, yet everyone else seemed smaller. 

While gazing at the others, a sprig of green amongst white caught your attention. You noticed a few small scraps of leaves caught in Balam's short white hair that was now eye level. You didn't even think before automatically pulling the leaves and even a small twig from the fine white strands before mindlessly running your fingers through it, looking for anything else that might be stuck.

That and despite being short and stubby, Balam's hair was soft and silky. It felt wonderful running your fingers through it.

Your mind caught back up with your actions as Balam's grip tightened on you slightly for a moment, his muscles tensing beneath your one hand that was on his shoulder to help your balance. 

This was probably not something you should be doing, especially here and now of all places. Dozens of other demons probably aware of the rumor watching carefully, gleefully thinking they had further proof of your… relationship. 

You looked down, and your fears were confirmed by the indiscernible expression on his face. "Uh, you had a leaf…" You offered, wishing you had kept the proof instead of allowing it to drop to the floor below. He didn't react, but kept his eyes trained on yours - making your heart thump once more. There was something… odd in his expression, the look in his eyes. His dark pupils were wider, and you realized he was holding his breath.

"If you two are finished flirting," Kalego interrupted, destroying the moment. Or rather, making it worse. You blushed heavily as Balam seemed to catch himself. Balam quickly-- but carefully --set you back down before taking a polite step away. Before you could even try to reason with Kalego, or the other demons who were now boasting devious smiles and barely-contained laughter, Kalego continued. "There will be even more students withdrawing after that debacle. Or worse, becoming desperate and foolish. We should go, Shichiro."

"Right," Balam agreed, though paused to look at you. You could tell he wanted to say something, yet seemed unsure. 

Instead he settled to stroke your hair gently before following the other teacher. Leaving you baffled as they left. 

What exactly had been up with that look on his face? What kind of taboo had you breached? You were just picking leaves from his hair, surely that wasn't abnormal?! 

Demons weren't human. As hard as that was to remember, it was certainly something you needed to keep in mind. Yes, humans bonded through such displays of caring for one another. There was nothing inherently sensual about helping someone with their hair, or tucking in a shirt tab. 

What if in demons, it was? Was that why everyone thought you two were dating? Were you constantly sending mixed signals, and he was just too nice to correct you? The thought made your stomach twist and your anxiety build up yet once again. 

--+--

Elsewhere, Balam was lost in somewhat-similar thoughts as he trekked through the forest; though also keeping an ear for students as he followed Kalego.

"You don't think we were actually flirting, right?"

Kalego barely paused, but shot a disbelieving look towards the larger demon. "Half of Babyls believes you two are courting." He spat the word as if it was abhorrent, though the taller demon barely registered his insinuation.

"They… really think that?" Balam was used to rumors; after all, the student body was convinced he experimented on students after hours. But this was much different. Instead of feeling crushed, he was… well, he wasn't quite sure.

He knew he liked you - in a different way than he cared for others - but… was that really love? You were very special to him, and he often found himself thinking about you. Or wanting to talk to you. Or wanting to see you.

And then you had pulled that leaf from his hair. Maybe it was just merely close to the molting season that he could already feel his head and wings itching, but…

There was no way you knew how significant grooming others was - let alone his kind - during molt, nonetheless.

Actually, he had to keep in mind what demons saw as flirting and signs of affection may not be so significant to you. Humans were far more compassionate than demons, easily creating social bonds with anyone. You and Iruma trusted so readily, wore your heart on your sleeve without a care. You fussed and mothered nearly every child you met, felt empathy for nearly everyone you met. 

Just because you cared for him didn't mean your interest was romantic, or anything special even. 

"You're a bit obvious," Kalego sighed. "And apparently oblivious as well. If you honestly think courting Lord Sullivan's daughter is a wise decision, then by all means, proceed-" Kalego continued grimly. "But leave me out of it. I have to deal with the chairdemon and Opera enough as it is."

"But… do you really think she likes me in that way?" 

Kalego's dark look shifted into a deadpan expression. "Please tell me you're kidding, Shichiro."

Balam shyly fiddled with his fingers, his face a faint pink. Balam could admit, it was probably foolish to pose the question to Kalego, who wasn't aware of your true nature…

But he was aware of how caring you were. And, just maybe, what the guard dog of Babyls saw was something different. 

An aggrieved sigh echoed loudly through the forest as Kalgeo rubbed his forehead. "I think there is a high probability that she at least finds you attractive," He bit out. "And she obviously enjoys your company." 

Even the mask couldn't hide the smile that bloomed on Shichiro’s face, despite the fact the demon looked equally flustered as well. 

Despite his doubts, Balam found himself unable to squash that small ember of hope smoldering in his heart. Hope that maybe you felt something different, -- something special-- for him. Hope that you could look past his scar and admitted flaws and somehow still find him… well, he didn't dare hope that you would somehow find him attractive, but maybe at least agreeable.

--+-- Su-Ki-Ma--+--

"Go back to your real parents. I don't know why I ever wanted to adopt you anyways."

Iruma froze, his heart breaking at your words. The cold look in your eyes, the sneer of disgust on your lips as you looked down at him as he knelt in the dirt.

You… you were the first person that had cared about him. The closest thing he had to a mother. He had come to love and depend on you after everything he went through.

He could remember so clearly the times you had tucked him into bed, the lumpy futon you insisted he use while you slept on the hard floor. You fussed over him every time he felt under the weather, or was injured - even if it was a minor papercut! You took on the boss at the fish factory and anyone else if they dared to even look at him funny, uncaring of what consequences you were invoking. 

 Or those cold rainy nights, and you tried to keep things light and cheery by finding an old dvd player and a few cheap movies to watch as you both curled underneath a blanket fort. When the darker memories tried to catch up with him, you were there like a ray of light to remind him things would be okay. 

It had truly been a home.

He looked up at the uncaring expression on your face. No. His parents may come after him, looking to exploit him even more. Grandpa might even allow them to take him away, and his dear friends might leave him once they discovered he was human.

But you never would turn your back on him. You had sold your soul just to be in the Netherworld with him. You were his mother. Iruma knew without a shred of doubt that no matter what, you cared for him. You loved him as much as he loved you.

Iruma grabbed his feather from his broach, using his fierce determination mixed with the certainty of your love to summon his bow.

He would win this. He was going to strive to be the best demon a human could be. And he knew you would be cheering him on every step of the way, full of pride.

Because that's what a true mother did.

[jackitk]

Day 10: Personality

TBH I was tempted to skip this day out of concern of not doing justice with describing them. And it's kind of tricky when I have multiple interpretations of their personality based on how far down the theorical timeline I go... But you know what? Practice makes perfect I suppose. So let's just do it.

Jackit: Quiet and reserved. Rarely talking to anyone besides Sara, or as the adventure develops, the rest of the party. This quirk often results in them getting mistaken for mute or even non-human at times. They do actually have a bit of interest in the history of this world.

Sara: Seemly outgoing, but not to the degree of Nayla. Always willing to act as the voice of Jackit and may come off a bit overprotective at times. While overall the voice of reason for the group, she can loose her cool if her patience is pushed too far. Despite her more collective nature, she will throw hands with you if you threaten something she cares about. She also can be a bit touchy with certain topics like her family history or that of the guiding light figure.

Techie: The middle ground of the introverted/extroverted spectrum. She seems well mattered and chill enough in normal conversation. But you can see her hyper fixation with Myi come into play when she scouts enemies in battle to see their stats. Often geeking out at certain enemy types or even letting out a groan when she realizes that the enemy's name is a pun.

Not exactly a personality trait, but it's worth noting that she's paralyzed from the waist down. Hence why she's always depicted either in her wheelchair or her mech that lets her use Earth Myi. It also indirectly led to her hyper fixation with Myi, despite not being a Mentalist herself. Her parents are both major owners of some of the biggest tech companies in the region and use their wealth and experience in the fields of software/robotics to find a way to better their daughter's life. With Techie inheriting that interest from constant exposure to technology and Myi.

Nayla: Highly sociable, if not flirtatious at times. She never hesitate to speak up if something feels off and will often be the first to butt heads with with people. Easily the most independent of the group.

She has pride towards her heritage as a member of the wind clan, but is tired of just being in one place all her life. Using the adventure as an excuse to get away from her life working at the family wood tour business to see new parts of the world. Hopefully she'll grow to better like everyone else as she become more comfortable around them.

Sole: The most formal of the group, despite being the youngest. Always making sure to use her manners and often hesitant to let her guard down, from a social angle. She's always looking for a pacifist approach to problems, even when fighting the minions of darkness themselves. A people pleaser to a fault. Though throughout the adventure, she does let her guard down enough to reveal her more childish interests, such as her obsession with the children's IP Rib-Lin.

Mis detail/rambling:

If you're curious, I'm sticking to how they would be early in the events of Overseer of the Elements for everything I talk about this month.

Beyond the multiple interpretation base on the timeline thing, it's a little tricky for me to express grasp my characters due to wanting to be a little flexible based on how it affects the game.

Characters like Jackit, Sara, and Sole I've had for so long and gotten a chance to actually use them in other media, I feel I have a firm grasp on who they are. But others like Techie and Nayla are pretty new. Well, they've been around for a bit at this point, but they still feel new compared to "OCs I've had since literal childhood", so there's a mix of not getting a chance to use them a lot to feel out their personality and trying to make said personality interesting without feeling too similar to the rest of the cast.

[tauforged]

do you have any tips for someone who wants to get into warframe for the first time?

- don’t start with the duviri/drifter quest when given the option. it’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but it will be very confusing and you won’t revisit any of the stuff that’s touched upon until way way later in the game. start off in the origin system, the story progresses a lot more naturally from that start point. i don’t really know why they made this an option.

- you dont HAVE to buy platinum. they start you off with like 50 i think? it’s not necessary for anything aside from buying additional warframe/weapon slots. everything else is cosmetic or optional. you can get mroe plat later on by trading with other players (if you do want to buy plat for cosmetics or whatever, i recommend waiting until you get a discount as your daily login bonus. iirc they range from 25, 50, or 75% off. they’re pretty much entirely random though so don’t feel obligated to use one if you do get it and don’t need plat at the moment so it goes to waste. you’ll get another)

- even if you decide you don’t like a weapon you end up crafting, you’ll be better off if you level it up to the maximum rank (30) before selling it rather than trashing it outright, that way you won’t have to go back and get it again later on in the game in order to complete it. the more stuff you level in full, the faster you progress through mastery ranks, and some stuff is mastery rank locked so you’re gonna wanna pay attention to your progress.

- you’re gonna wanna join a clan as soon as possible. you can find some via the recruiting channel, or probably by asking around on social media, idk. i started my own (not recommended unless you’ve got a group of friends you can rally or feel like recruiting to fill out your ranks in order to actually get stuff done) so i don’t really know what the clan recruiting scene looks like. having access to a clan dojo makes life a lot easier (and can make finding people to play with less of a hassle too)

- the story itself doesn’t really pick up steam until you start the ‘natah’ quest. in between the start and there, you’ll mostly be doing a lot of running around trying to familiarize yourself with the setting and playing catch-up. don’t worry too much about all the stuff they throw at you all at once. almost all the quests are replayable through your codex if you ever want to refresh your memory, and for those that aren’t, the wiki is… usually a pretty decent source as far as summaries go. i’d take it with a grain of salt though.

- this one especially tripped my sister up so i’m gonna touch on it: you’re going to be required to do the ‘heart of deimos’ quest in order to progress past mars on the star chart. IMHO, this quest REALLY should not be mandatory so early on in the game — you aren’t going to be able to make heads or tails of anything anyone is telling you. don’t be afraid to breeze thru it w/o paying much attention and circle back around later in the game, preferably sometime after you finish the war within or at LEAST the second dream. i genuinely don’t know why they’re throwing baby tenno to the wolves on this one. just know it’ll all make sense later i prommy

- don’t worry too much about the open world areas like the orb vallis, the plains of eidolon, or the cambion drift at first. they’re very cool (and you’ll be introduced to them via their respective quests) but they can be overwhelming to new players and the difficulty spike might be frustrating, especially before you’ve unlocked a majority of the tools available to you.

- this game has been ongoing for over ten years at this point - there’s a LOT going on. take your time progressing at a comfortable pace. don’t be afraid to ask around for help if you’re stuck on something or getting frustrated trying to farm a specific part or material.

- if people try to talk down on you for being a lower mastery rank or w/e they’re literally just being an asshole. MR isn’t indicative of skill so much as it is a representation of how much gear you’ve leveled, which is basically just an indicator of how much time you’ve spent playing - a chimp smacking a keyboard can feasibly hit legendary after enough attempts. you’re fine. hell, i’ve been here since 2013 and i’m only MR 19 LMAO

- the ‘meta’ for this game is wildly subjective due to the vast customizability of builds. take everyone’s opinions with several grains of salt and don’t be afraid to experiment on your own to see what works for you

- dont read general chat. it’s not worth it. nobody in there is as funny as they think they are

- the most important part of being a tenno is having fun and being yourself :)

[zwy01]

Arya doodles!!!

Aww my poor, poor girl. It’s her time to be given love and lots of hugs.

This is my OC, Arya K. Landegre! She is Regis and Rael’s daughter, and the former’s heir.

I haven’t gone in depth with her backstory yet, so I’m going to do that here. She’s one of my 15 “main” characters of my Millennium AU and her full bio is up in my pinned post.

I’ll be mentioning some other names in here too so to quickly recap, Arya is the younger one of the two Regis/Rael kids and her full-sibling and elder brother is Raegyn Kertia. (Arya has three half-siblings, with her elder half-brother Kaelestis Blerster on Rael’s side, and younger half-brother Garyth J. Loyard and younger half-sister Alethea J. Loyard on Regis’ side.) Arya has a pretty good relationship with her loving family, but it is a hard-earned one with a rocky beginning and a long, arduous journey. I’ll be explaining exactly why in a bit. Yay!!!

I love Arya for how dynamic she is and I’ve barely mentioned the more detailed stuff so here we are! My sweet Ari’s (almost) full backstory.

We already know that Arya is the odd one out in her generation. Among her fellow future Clan Leaders, Arya stands out as the one that is the least noble-like. She’s cringy, loud, fidgety, and most of all you just can’t get her to behave herself like a proper noble. If Lukedonia had yearbooks, she’d be nominated as the class clown. Hey, being so stiff all the time isn’t fun, right? I mean, just look at that freakishly long lifespan nobles have. You’re saying you’re gonna be around for at least a few more millennia, yet being uptight is the only way you know how, huh? Pfft, not in Arya’s watch. She’s gonna show you what real fun is, by ditching all formalities in favor of “you know, just winging it!”. After all, life is boring without a little improvisation every now and then. And if that means leaving your comfort zone, then Arya will be the one to hold your hand and guide you through your newfound fun. In a sense, Arya is the opposite of her big brother Raegyn Kertia. Raegyn loves to plan every little detail of his life, making sure to never go off track for even the tiniest of things, while Arya likes to live spontaneously. The past won’t hold her back, and the future does not concern her either. Any problems or consequences that arise, she will leave it to her “future self”. Duh. On many occasions, Raegyn had attempted to teach Arya the importance of planning things and the concept of delayed gratification, to no avail. Whatever he tells her seems to go in one ear and out the other. It’s Arya, what else did you expect from her? She’s just going to giggle and shrug it off. They are not too worried about her though, because she seems to be able to find a good balance in life despite her carefree nature, so they let her be. I mean, she is pretty wild, but it’s not like she’s going to burn down the forest or steal artifacts from the treasury for fun, right? Yeah, no way that’s going to happen. Mhm. Huh. Wait… hold up. Actually, forget it. She might. It’s unlikely though. Well, she doesn’t do that anymore. Anymore? What exactly does that mean? That’s where it gets interesting, so sit back and enjoy.

Remember in my last post about Raegyn where I said that Regis and Rael were super relieved that their Arya was a normal child with normal development, and not a “special” child like their difficult son? They were right about their daughter… at least partially. Regis and Rael waited for almost two centuries before having their second child. Their first child Raegyn gave them a hard time because he was too much of an outlier with his unmatched super intelligence. After Arya was born, and for some time in her early childhood, Regis and Rael had their eyes on her all the time, vigilantly watching for any signs that would show that she’s not an average child, and in turn they would give her the extra support she needs. And they waited. And waited. Thankfully, those signs never showed up. Whew. They could finally relax, as they only needed to deal to with Raegyn, and it seemed like they could raise Arya like they would with a normal child. Arya was average, in a good way. She was a bit too lively and feisty at times, but that’s not a big deal. She’s a kid, after all. Who doesn’t like an energetic kid? Regis and Rael had to discipline her occasionally, but other than that, they didn’t need to do much. They had a good time together as a family, and everyone was certain that Arya had a bright future ahead of her. Or, that’s what they thought. Uh oh.

Turns out her parents overlooked her feistiness, and there was a deeper underlying issue. This became more apparent as Arya grew a bit older, when she reached the human equivalent of a ten year old. At this point it wasn’t as simple as kiddie tantrums anymore. Regis and Rael found it increasingly difficult to discipline their daughter and calm her down when she got all worked up. Arya had a short fuse. A very short one. She was joyful and radiant, just as much as she had a big temper. She cried when she didn’t get what she wanted, she screamed when her parents gave Raegyn a millisecond more of attention than they did to her, and kicked and shoved and knocked things off tables when something simply wasn’t to her liking. And when she felt uneasy, she couldn’t stay still and was always pacing around, fidgeting, or both. And that’s when Regis and Rael finally understood what’s going on, when they realized that Arya may be even more difficult than their already difficult son.

If we’re being nice, then we can say that Arya has a… very strong personality. If we’re being honest, then Arya is a major pain in the ass. It’s as simple as that. She is only fun for as long as she doesn’t spiral into one of her tantrums, before her parents, Raegyn, or someone else needs to step in to physically restrain her until she calms down. And it’s worth noting that Regis and Rael were not neglectful or anything. They were attentive and loving parents who did their best to ensure that their daughter had everything she needed. It’s just that Arya happened to inherit several of her parents’ less desirable personality traits. Mix and match, boom. A recipe for disaster. Arya inherited Regis’ stubbornness, and Rael’s tendency to be possessive, jealous, and impulsive. Regis is more flexible now, and even Rael has shown massive improvement and growth, and doesn’t act like he did in his youth anymore. But Arya was only a child. She was still young, and she has yet to go through centuries of practice. Regis and Rael were really trying their hardest, but their daughter just didn’t seem to show any signs of improvement. For now, they’ll just keep trying in hopes that their little Ari would get better eventually. Maybe they were even in denial, as they didn’t like the possibility of Arya not being able to grow out of her “phase”, so to speak.

Despite the less positive aspects of her personality, kiddie Arya loved her parents very much, and she made sure to let them know. Raegyn’s situation was an entirely different case, as Regis and Rael parented him in a very unconventional way that didn’t quite resemble the dynamics of a typical parent-child relationship. On the other hand, Arya’s bond with her parents strongly resembled that of a typical parent-child relationship. She absolutely adored both her fathers, and loved being their baby. To little Arya, they were her everything. And they still are now. Regis and Rael are delighted with how their daughter loves them so much and how she never hesitates to express her love. The two of them didn’t really feel the same sentiment coming from their first child Raegyn during his childhood, and Raegyn still is kind of aloof as an adult. (They know that Raegyn loves them too, but Raegyn just never really bothered with the excessively sentimental stuff) To be honest, Raegyn is relieved that his sister is here to divert his parents’ attention so they don’t “loiter” around him all the time, and he can finally get some of that long desired freedom. And his sister being difficult doesn’t bother him because she is their parents’ kid, not his, so she’s not his problem. At most he’ll just step in when he needs to pretend to be a good big brother, or when his parents ask him to.

And Arya? She loves her brother dearly, and knows that he loves her too. Brother Rayray is nice. He reads books to Ari and gives Ari candies. He teaches Ari how to play games. He’s all good …until the very moment he gets more attention from their parents. Then she’s not so enthusiastic about him anymore. Do you see where I am getting at. As much as Arya adores Raegyn, she doesn’t actually mind how Raegyn is often absent during “family bonding time” because guess what? She can have her fathers alllll to herself. Maybe it’s even a good thing, even if it is one she can’t say out loud.

Arya is totally a daddy’s girl for both of her fathers. The two of them have different roles. Rael is the “fun” parent. Yes, Arya is his sweet little girl and he’s forever grateful for her very existence, but above all else, he sees himself in her. As difficult as Arya can be sometimes, she bears extreme resemblance to Rael and he loves her for that. Rael doesn’t mind Arya being a little feisty because he was like that in his youth too, and he turned out alright, didn’t he? Maybe he’s even proud of her for being so “lively”. That’s right, she’s his little girl! Arya is nearly identical to Rael in both looks and personality. If only she had the Kertia blonde as well, her parents joke. In addition, since the beginning, Rael had desperately wanted a child to pour all his love into, but Raegyn wasn’t quite what he had expected, so he didn’t get to experience the typical joy of parenting. Then Arya came along. Arya adored him, admired him, and stuck to him like a piece of gum. She practically glued herself onto her Kertia daddy.

Rael is of course absolutely overjoyed, and responded by showering her with every ounce of affection in his system. He often lets Arya indulge herself in things, and gives in to her begging. He spoils Arya by sneaking her out of class early, letting her stay past bedtime, slipping an extra cookie when Regis isn’t looking... etc. Anything to see his little girl put on a big, big smile and hear her say “thank you Daddy” with enthusiasm. Perhaps he went a little too overboard, and the spoiling became a bit excessive. But hey, Rael just can’t help it. In a way, whatever he wished he could’ve done but didn’t get to do with Raegyn, he fulfilled through Arya. Arya basically gets double of everything. And she’s just too cute. I mean, she’s a chip off the old block! Rael continues the spoiling well into Arya’s teen years. This does eventually snowball into a bigger problem, which will be addressed later.

On the other hand, Regis is the “strict” parent. For most of the time, he lets Rael have fun with Arya because he knows how deeply Rael cherishes that affectionate bond with their daughter. At the same time Regis never misses the chance to discipline Arya when she needs it. Kiddie Raegyn was very self-sufficient and preferred independence over being “parented”; Arya was not, and needed plenty of parental support and behavioral correction. Sorry kiddo, no more skipping classes for you, and whining won’t make demands come true. Jokes aside, other than being the rule enforcing parent, Regis is very, very affectionate with Arya and they have an extremely close father-daughter relationship. Lovely. Regis can be proud of himself. He used to get flustered at something as simple as getting his head patted by (his basically adopted sister) Seira, and now he is actually pretty comfortable with giving and receiving both physical and emotional affection. One of Arya’s favorite things to do as a kid was running her little fingers through Regis’ hair and playing with his black streaks, and then happily pointing at her own streaks while exclaiming “I’m a Landegre!” To which Regis would smile and respond, “yes, my little Ari”. Aww, how precious. Arya takes great pride in being Regis’ daughter and heir. She is her daddy’s successor, the great Regis K. Landegre!

While it’s true that Arya tends to go to her Kertia daddy when she wants to get the okays to break rules or have some relatively reckless fun, it is Regis who is her favorite. Sorry Rael. He doesn’t have to know Regis is Arya’s number one. Period. Has always been, and will always be. As soon as Arya could recognize her surroundings, Regis became the center of her world. If she admired Rael, then she idolized Regis. She loved him, she worshipped him, she put him on a pedestal. Yeah. That person over there. You see him? He’s Ari’s Landegre daddy! How sweet. It doesn’t matter if Regis didn’t let her overindulge in things, or that he’s less lenient with her misbehaving at times. Everything Regis believes in and does, is right. No arguments. Maybe she’d even get offended on his behalf if anyone tried to question him. Regis is her idol, and she’d follow in his footsteps even if she honestly doesn’t feel too much enthusiasm towards clan duties and whatnots. Young Arya actually had her parents taken by surprise when she showed that, after all, she was capable of sitting through an entire afternoon of Regis walking her through Landegre CL duties without fidgeting or complaining much. For a restless child like her, it’s an unusual and incredible feat, because she doesn’t display this extent of patience when it comes to other matters. Responsibilities and expectations, future Clan Leader, blah blah blah… even if these things didn’t really interest Arya, she’d do it for daddy dearest. Anything for Regis. She’s totally obsessed with him. Many even too obsessed. And this obsession is the catalyst for many unfortunate events to come. Remember how I said she inherited Rael’s tendency to be possessive, jealous, and impulsive? Yep, exactly that.

Fast forward to Arya’s teen years. When Arya was around the human equivalent of 13-14 year old, she “learned” about Regis’ drastically shortened lifespan. This was around the time her younger half-siblings Garyth and Alethea were born. Initially, Regis had intended to donate only one soul fragment to Seira for the birth of her heir, but their combined soul fragments unexpectedly split into two separate, unstable pieces and Regis didn’t have the heart to let the smaller piece perish. So in an attempt to save it, as it was dying, he extracted another soul fragment from himself and gave it to the smaller piece that would later become Alethea. He succeeded. They succeeded. But the unexpected extra soul fragment extraction shortened his lifespan even more. Three soul fragment extractions is already pushing the limits for noble standards. Four? That’s unheard of. Regis didn’t have much longer to live. Uh oh. Arya is definitely not going to take this well.

And this is not due to Arya previously being oblivious to the mechanism behind noble birth or anything. All nobles know that having children would shorten one’s lifespan. They understood how it worked, and that a noble’s lifespan would roughly halve for each child etc. Arya knew this as well. However, she only started to really think about it once her half-siblings were born, because she never really saw Regis that way. All this time she had been busy obsessing over him and putting him on a pedestal. She had been way too in love with the concept of him being her father to the point where she basically almost completely forgot about the fact that no, he indeed won’t be around forever. Regis is not immortal. To make matters worse, not only was Regis not immortal, he also doesn’t have much left. Time is ticking. Regis is dying. Her daddy, her idol, her world — he’s dying. The shock comes from the realization, perhaps one that is a little too late. It’s also important to note that Regis did not consult with either of his children regarding his decision to contribute what is essentially his lifespan to Seira’s heir. Regis had only spoken with his husband Rael regarding this matter and both of them agreed that his contribution to Seira would be a good idea. After all, Seira is family to Regis. Of course he would help her with her heir. By both Lukedonian law and common practice, neither juvenile nor adult children are entitled to any input when it comes to one or both of their parents’ decision to donate more soul fragments or just having more children in general. Parents don’t need to say anything to their existing children. No one owes anyone explanations. That’s just how things are.

Though, on a personal level, that’s where things get complicated. The Regis/Rael kids only learned about their half-siblings after their birth. Raegyn’s reaction upon hearing the news was just… nothing. He simply raised his eyebrows, shrugged, and gave a fake smile. Neat. Sure, more siblings, though they aren’t his problem, they’re Seira’s, so he doesn’t care. And while Raegyn loves Regis, he respects Regis’ decision (and his parents’ collective agreement) about what Regis wants to do with his lifespan. If he wanted to shave off more years for the sake of his family aka Seira, then go for it. To be honest, Raegyn probably isn’t even attached enough to Regis for him to care. Arya on the other hand… oh boy.

Unlike Raegyn, who was calm and supportive, Arya did not take it well. In fact, she took it quite personally. Very personally. Extremely personally. Upon the initial news delivery of her half-siblings’ birth, she was shocked. Arya went numb, and didn’t seem to have any reaction at all. It took her a whole day to process the information and then it hit her. She excused herself and locked herself in her room. Witnesses recalled how the horrific, explosive screams that seemed to have come from the Landegre manor did not stop for an entire week. There was some sobbing, some hysterical laughing, but mostly screams. Screams much, much worse than what you’d imagine would come from tortured souls from the depths of hell. Bystanders could feel the sheer force of anger and despair in the very core of those screams just by listening. And not once did Arya think of using her noble powers for noise canceling. It may have even been deliberate, as she wanted the whole world to know that she’s upset, even if she won’t actually say why. Even her own parents can’t seem to get her to talk. The screams only stopped when Arya grew too tired and passed out in exhaustion for another week. People eventually forgot that this had happened, and simply shrugged it off as one of her “usual tantrums”. It was only oddly timed, because it happened right after her half-siblings were born, but other than that, no big deal, right? Then they’re wrong. Very, very wrong. Raegyn knows why because he is more than smart enough to tell. He doesn’t care, though.

Arya felt betrayed. Regis betrayed her. He betrayed her by giving his lifespan away without even telling her. He never once asked for her opinion, and he didn’t even bother to notify her of the decision, as if it was never a big deal to start with. Rael betrayed her as well. He betrayed her by not stopping Regis, because he clearly had a part in the final decision, right? Arya knows she has no claim over how Regis plans to use his lifespan, but still… she is his daughter, their daughter, and she had every reason to be upset with Regis literally handing away his life, the very life which he was supposed to spend with her. Both Regis and Rael betrayed her. Her fathers, her daddies, the two of them — both of them — turned their backs on her just like that. Yet Arya could not bring this up to either of them. She just can’t. She can’t tell them she’s upset. She did not know how to approach this subject, neither did she have any clue on how to sort out her rampaging questions and feelings. The mere thought of this clutter of a mess makes her feel sick. Her stomach sinks, and her chest aches. A deep, pulsating ache that seems to spread to every corner of her body. When she thinks she has worked up the courage to say it out loud, the clutter lodges in her throat and she loses the ability to speak. She physically can’t say those words. Her muscles tense up, and she starts sweating. She tries to speak those words but nothing comes out despite her moving her mouth. Only an inaudible, croaky cry. And then she’ll tear up. It’s impossible. She just can’t. Arya can’t ask any questions, her one thousand why’s. Why, why, why, why, just… why. Ari knows that Seira is daddy’s family too, and daddy wants to help her and show her his support… but isn’t Ari also daddy’s family? She is his daughter and heir, and she should’ve been his top priority. Was she, in his eyes, not important enough for him to not give away a portion of his lifespan just like that? Did he even think of her when he extracted the soul fragments from himself?? Can he really bear the thought of leaving her behind, before she is ready to face this world by herself??? Does he even care…? These thoughts and questions would continue to torment her for the longest of times. You’d probably ask, why can’t Regis and Rael just read her mind? Well, they certainly tried. They failed. They couldn’t see anything when they attempted to read their distressed daughter’s mind. It probably had something to do with Arya’s defensive mechanism, where she had unconsciously formed some sort of intangible barrier that prevented people from reading her mind.

Regis and Rael did not know how to comfort their daughter, as she just wouldn’t tell them why she’s upset, and they see nothing when they read her mind. All they can do is give her hugs when she asks for them. Especially Regis. Arya would bury her face into his chest and cry for hours. He can only softly stroke her head and give her gentles pats on her back, hoping that it would ease whatever pain his daughter is experiencing. Not a word spoken from either one of them, with Arya’s occasional inaudible mumbles breaking the silence. And Raegyn? He’s completely out of the picture. He hates anything emotional, which includes dealing with the feelings of others, even when it comes to his sister. Raegyn nopes the hell out of their home as soon as Arya gets worked up, so he doesn’t have to pretend to be nice and comfort her. Every single time. Poof and he’s gone, and you can guarantee that you won’t be able to find him until Arya is finished with her business. Though Regis, Rael, and Arya herself are probably too busy to notice Raegyn is missing.

Arya’s impeding grief shouldn’t be taken lightly. All bottled up along with her grief is her anger, sadness and confusion. It will accumulate, and might as well kill her one day. All that energy has to be released somewhere right? Telling her family isn’t an option because she simply can’t. Her friends and acquaintances… they might react negatively. She can’t say for sure, but she is hesitant about opening up to them about this sensitive subject. And great-grandfather Gejutel is too busy, who knows if he’ll even care. And all the other adults aren’t trustworthy enough in Arya’s eyes. There was no one she could go to. Arya was alone. Arya was desperate. She once was the happiest girl on the planet. She had loving parents, and a nice big brother. There was nothing else she wished for. She only wanted life to stay as it is, with Regis as the center of her world. Regis, Regis, Regis. Her number one. And now he’s dying, by his own choice, albeit indirectly. He had about less than two thousand years left. Even then two thousand years by itself is a long time. Not for Arya. She could spend all eternity with Regis if she could. If Regis didn’t extract two more fragments from himself, he would have had around eight thousand years left. There’s nothing Regis can do, there’s nothing anyone can do. There’s nothing Arya can do. She’d give up part of her own lifespan and transfer it to her father if she could, if that means getting to spent more time with him, but that is impossible. Even if she could, she just knows Regis would never let one of his own children cut their lifespan short just so he could live for longer. It should be the other way, if any. Ugh. Regis is too kind and too generous for his own good. There was nothing left for Arya to do, except to accept the truth and deal with it. But Arya didn’t want to. There has to be another way. She felt cornered. And then she snapped.

The first obvious change was Arya’s newfound apathy regarding her clan. Arya completely lost interest in the Landegres. She stopped caring about her status as future Clan Leader. Clan duties, managing her future clan members, paperwork, leadership training… none of that mattered to her anymore. At first she only had occasional absences. Those grew into frequent absences, and in the end she skipped her lessons altogether. She just stopped showing up. She was never genuinely interested in these things to start with. She made herself sit through all that boring, repetitive nonsense for Regis’ sake, and if her daddy isn’t going to be around for much longer, then she doesn’t want to partake in this anymore. Arya is determined to just ditch it all. And she isn’t even bad at being future Clan Leader. She is pretty average at most things, but she is a hard worker. Without talent, she makes it up with effort. Now that Regis will be gone soon, none of this means anything to her anymore. We’re talking about almost two centuries of hard work that Arya is ready to abandon. If Regis can choose to leave her behind, then she can choose to leave all of this behind too. Her parents and Lukedonia’s general population are very worried about her sudden change in attitude, but all they could do is to hold their breath and hope that the passionate Arya would come back one day.

The second, and perhaps even worse than the first, is Arya turning towards causing trouble for the sake of trouble. Arya is already naturally prone to recklessness and impulsivity thanks to getting those personality traits from Rael. All these years she’s been trying her best to control herself, albeit with limited degrees of success. The point is at least she tried. Now take that, and actually give Arya a reason to not work hard to behave herself anymore. From her perspective, she is justified to do as she pleases because Regis betrayed her trust. The world betrayed her trust. Her acting out and being a menace made sense. She’s just responding accordingly. Yeah. Exactly that. Lukedonia can’t complain, no one can complain, because they gave her no choice. They forced her into this, and now they have to deal with her whether they like it or not. If they can’t handle her, it’s not her problem.

And I would like to mention a key difference between Raegyn and Arya. It is one that defines them and sets them apart, and that is the gap between their maximum capacity and potential when it comes their character. Raegyn is the outlier. His intelligence, flexibility, and social skills are all top tier. He is basically built for success. That’s just what he was born with. You can say he was blessed with everything he needs in this life. Not only is Raegyn academically gifted, he is also extremely smart with people. Raegyn knows how to order around, and his friends targets don’t even know that they’re being manipulated by him. He is also more than smart enough to get away with committing crime and being a real danger, if that is what he wishes to entertain himself with. Except he isn’t interested in that stuff. He has the potential to be dangerous, but he isn’t.

This is where Arya comes in. Arya is average. She is average compared to Raegyn, and she is average by herself. Her intelligence? Average. Her social skills? Average. Her fighting prowess? Better than most of Lukedonia, but when compared to her fellow future Clan Leaders, average. Arya is simply… average. She wasn’t spectacular at anything, nor was she severely lacking. She simply was. And depending on how you look at things, this could be both good and bad. In Arya’s case, it’s definitely bad. Why? Because now Arya wants to wreak havoc just because. Except she isn’t nearly as smart as she needs to be to execute it in the way that would keep herself out of trouble. Combine that with her impulsivity, and what you get is an unpredictable, unstable person who is reckless enough to get herself into trouble but isn’t smart enough to get herself out of it. Arya is also bossy like Rael. She likes to control people, except unlike Raegyn, she isn’t smart enough to know how to order around. If Raegyn uses brains, then Arya uses force. Raegyn gains control over people by being smart. Arya isn’t capable of mimicking even just a fraction of that. That is why Raegyn is popular while Arya has a debatable reputation among her people. And just like Rael, Arya isn’t the best at dealing with being told “no” by others. Yiiiiikes.

And here’s the deal. Arya is average. We know that. Is Arya aware? Perhaps. She isn’t dumb enough to not know that she is in fact average. She knows what her limits are. Does knowing that stop her from being a menace? No. Arya doesn’t care. Who cares if she isn’t smart enough. If she wants to cause trouble, then she will cause trouble. Consequences are for later. They do not concern her. Nothing is going to stop her, and nothing can stop her. The stubbornness she got from Regis is certainly running its gears here, for the worst.

What exactly does Arya do? The list could go on forever. A few of her more “notable” and favorite crimes to commit include arson, blackmail, bribery, forgery, theft, and vandalism. Out of those, arson, theft, and vandalism stand out the most.

Arson. Arya needed to let out all that bottled up anger, and she turned to setting things on fire. It didn’t involved anyone else, and she could do it without other people noticing. If she’s going to turn to crime, then she can start with something “simple” and ease her way into bigger, more satisfying ordeals. That’s why the very first spell Arya masters is an ignition spell. The Landegres aren’t a magic aligned clan, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t learn a few spells. It first started with smaller things that didn’t matter as much. Pages from her notebook, a childhood toy, old clothes, things that are going to the trash anyway, etc. Items she wouldn’t miss, that no one would miss. How cathartic. It didn’t numb her pain of Regis’ impeding passing, but it was better than nothing. She could imagine that she is watching the world burn. And when she got comfortable with burning smaller items, she moved onto bigger items. Burning less important items no longer gave her the satisfaction she needed. So she looked for more. A couch. A closet. A statue. An abandoned cabin. A small patch of forest in the Loyard territory. It goes exactly where you think. Things spiraled out of control. And the thing is Arya only bothered to learn an ignition spell, and not a counter-spell for it. Arya had to cry for help because she realized that the entire forest will burn down soon if no one intervened. The nobles who responded were able to put out the fire just in time before it reached the Loyard manor. And Arya? She was punished for it. Her Clan Leader issued the punishment himself. But she was still a juvenile, so she didn’t get what she arguably deserved, which is a punishment befitting of her crime if she were an adult. Will this stop Arya from committing more arson? No.

Theft. Arya also began to steal. At first it started with sneaking less valuable items out of people’s pockets. Things people wouldn’t immediately realize have disappeared, and by the time they wanted to looked for them, they were long gone. All in Arya’s possession. And, you guessed it, stealing smaller items was no longer enough for Arya. Then Arya moved onto stealing bigger things. She targeted items that potentially had high sentimental value. We’re talking diaries, jewelry, lockets, portraits, even old cooking pans. The mere thought of people breaking down and panicking over lost items was amusing to her. Sweet sweet. Of course the pain they would feel is not nearly enough to compare to what she has to go through when it comes to her dying daddy, but it’s better than nothing. They better cry. Be in pain, just like her. If she couldn’t be happy, then none of them should. Just like with Arya’s arson crimes, her stealing things got out of hand real quick and soon Arya was breaking into various clans’ treasuries and smuggling important statues and sculptures out of there and into her home. Except Arya isn’t exactly smart, like I mentioned earlier. She’s not at all an expert it comes to covering her tracks, and on her second break-in attempt in the Blerster territory, she got caught in the act by none other than Karias Blerster himself. Karias handed Arya to Regis and he had to punish her again. When he searched her room, they found many, many other stolen items and Regis made sure to make her return them to their respective owners before he grounded her. Again, like before, is this going to stop Arya from committing theft again? Haha, no.

Vandalism. At this point Arya didn’t even bother to be discreet anymore. If she’s not smart enough to get away with anything she does, then she might as well stop all attempt to cover her tracks. Committing crime was her outlet, and she needed it. No one was going to take that away from her. Hell, if she can’t give up committing crime as her primary coping mechanism, then she’s just going to accept that that’s her new life. She might even be petty enough to announce that she is behind whatever chaotic shit is going on. Smashed a window? She would smear “Arya was here” on the walls with her blood. Sabotaged a garden full of herbs and other important plants? She would rearrange the uprooted and trampled plants to spell “Haha losers” for garden’s owner to witness. Destroyed part of a building? She would stand on the roof and laugh and laugh and laugh, and scream “come catch me you suckers!”as she waves her arms around. Again, Regis would be the one to punish her. He doesn’t understand why Arya suddenly turned to delinquency. Does she really enjoy being a criminal? Is this Arya’s true nature…? Neither Regis nor Rael know that Arya is simply doing this to cope with Regis’ shortened lifespan. They are not aware of the fact that this is her coping mechanism. It isn’t a justified one, for sure, but still. They do not know her true motives, and she seems to be reluctant when questioned.

In no time, Arya became notorious for being criminal. Moods were ruined and atmospheres were spoiled as soon as her name was brought up. A rumor began to circulate, one that said that if you said Arya’s name, your home would light up in flames. There was a collective sentiment among the nobles where they all agreed that they couldn’t wait for Arya to come of age so she can be tried as an adult.

Raegyn is rather unhappy with his younger sister’s… newfound hobbies. She is indirectly affecting his social life because now people just want to ask about his “delinquent sister”. That’s all they want to talk about. Dammit, it’s not his fault his sister has a “underdeveloped prefrontal cortex”, as he puts it. Thankfully he is rational enough to not say that out loud. Arya doesn’t need to know.

And Regis? Regis tries everything he can to correct and put Arya’s behavior to a permanent stop. And he fails spectacularly. He tried being nice with the gentle approach. He also tried the stern and authoritarian approach. Him questioning Arya would usually result in two endings, with Arya either pretending she can’t hear him and covering her ears and singing lalala, or she’ll burst into tears and sob uncontrollably. Regis could tell that those tears were genuine, but he just couldn’t get Arya to talk. Her confessing to the motives behind her crimes wouldn’t lighten her punishments, but at least Regis could have an answer as to why she is acting like this. In the end, nothing works. Regis seems to begin to lose hope in his daughter. His patience and faith in Arya started to wane. As much as Regis still loves her, he couldn’t recognize his little girl anymore. Regis is heartbroken.

Things aren’t any better for Rael. Remember when I said that Rael is the parent who spoils Arya? Well, things took an even worse turn. Arya started to bring up Rael during verbal interrogations. She ran out of excuses to bullshit, and then… she recalls stories about Rael being a former criminal, like him blowing up a portion of the castle when Seira rejected his proposal. Aha. The perfect excuse. She can just say she’s just like Rael. Can’t help it, it’s in her blood. What can she do, she’s her Kertia daddy’s daughter. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Something like that. He can soften the blow for her. And then Rael inevitably gets roped into dealing with Arya’s destructive behaviors. Of course Arya is the perpetrator, and Rael is not part of it. But still, he does have some things from his old days on his criminal record, so… to say that people have zero suspicions, would be a lie. Surely he knows better than to prompt his daughter to indulge in crime for funsies. But who knows? Rael had to clear the common suspicions by punishing his little girl himself. Usually, he is not the one to issue her punishments as Arya is a Landegre and he is a Kertia, which leaves Regis as the ultimate decision maker. And Lord Raskreia too, but only if Arya’s crimes escalates to that level, which Rael hopes will never come true. In addition, Rael has a soft spot for Arya and her words aren’t complete nonsense. After all, he did blow things up because Seira rejected him, but he has learned from his mistakes and he’s a better person now, right…? Nevertheless, Rael is hurt by Arya doing this to him. At the same time, he also felt sorry for her, because it is true that she inherited certain traits from him, and it is partially his fault for spoiling her too much in her early days.

Arya wasn’t only a criminal. She was also a bully. And the targets of her actions? Her Loyard half-siblings. That’s right. Garyth and Alethea. Yup. The ones who stole Regis’ time from her, the time she is rightfully entitled to, and the very causes of his shortened lifespan. If Arya couldn’t blame Regis, she figured she could blame them instead. Just think about it. They’re younger than her, they’re weaker than her, and she is their older sister by blood. By that logic, they had to listen to her, right? Arya probably thinks she’s so smart for figuring that out.

To Arya, Garyth and Alethea are indebted her. They belong to her. Everything they’ve ever been, and everything they’ll ever be, they owed to her. If it weren’t for her father, her Regis, they wouldn’t even exist here. Even if they didn’t ask to exist, they are still indebted to her. Thanks to them, Arya doesn’t have much time left with her daddy dearest. First and foremost, he’s her father, they share the same surname, she should be his top priority! Except in Arya’s eyes, she wasn’t that to Regis. And to her, the Loyard siblings are living proof of that sentiment. They are just as guilty as him. Arya’s total obsession with Regis, and her wanting to have him all to herself, is driving her insane. She loves him as much as she is obsessed with him. And the truth is Arya doesn’t really have a reason to be mean to her Loyard siblings. They’re nice, well-behaved kids. They’re polite, and try to be patient around their elder half-sister.

But it didn’t matter. If Regis isn’t going to be around for much longer, then these two will love her in Regis’ place. If they don’t love her, then she will make them love her, even if that means doing so by using force. Arya bossed them around, and made them listen to her every request. They were her little workers basically. This led to a very unhappy Garyth. The Kertia bloodline is just terrible. His elder half-sister’s father Rael harassed his mother Seira, and now Arya herself is here harassing him! It runs in the family. It has to be. This just further cements little Garyth’s already boiling hatred for Rael’s guts. (Will explain this a bit more in Garyth’s own post) Meanwhile little Alethea is fine with being bossed around. She doesn’t really know what to do with her life anyway, so rather than coming up with her ideas, she could just listen to Arya. (Also explaining more in Alethea’s own post) Due to Alethea’s nature of not really having her own opinion on things, she often gets lugged around by Arya. Yes, this includes Arya’s criminal activities. Arya doesn’t fully explain things to Alethea and purposely leaves out details so Alethea would join in on her… adventures. Which is why poor Alethea is often seen following Arya as the latter’s unwitting accomplice.

Fortunately, the adults know better than to accuse Alethea along with Arya because they just know that Arya is the mastermind and Alethea simply got tricked into being a part of her shenanigans. At one point Arya got the equivalent of a restraining order and she wasn’t allowed to be within a five hundred meter radius of Alethea, until she made a written promise that she wouldn’t trick Alethea into doing illegal things again.

Ultimately, Arya’s destructive behavior is unsustainable. When she got out of being grounded, she would just commit crime again. Soon, her 200th birthday approached, and she could not do as she pleased anymore. If she were to commit the same crimes she had before, she would be tried as an adult and punishments would be much more severe, and she would have to deal with real consequences.

One faithful day, Arya was snooping around Regis’ office and she overheard a conversation between him and Rael. Regis was stressed. There was plenty of silence. And then she heard crying. It came from Regis. For all her life, she had never seen her father cry. And then it hit her. Regis weeped, and talked about how scared he is for Arya. He wasn’t angry; he wasn’t disappointed. He was scared. He didn’t know what Arya was capable of, and now that her birthday is nearing, she would get into serious trouble and he would no longer be able to save her. Her approaching coming-of-age was not one of joy nor celebration; it was one of fear. Pure fear. And then Regis started to sob. His biggest fear is having to watch Arya get executed if she really goes beyond the point of no return. Finally. The long needed moment of awakening for Arya. Her acts of rebellion wasn’t helping anyone, and it hurt her loved ones more than anyone else. Most of all, it hurt Regis. Her Regis. She needs to stop, for her own sake, and for everyone else’s sake.

Arya didn’t say anything, and quietly left before she could listen to the rest of her parents’ conversation. She stayed silent for the longest duration of time. And… she came clean to her parents. This took her parents by surprise, as they initially thought that was some prank. But she was serious. Arya walked into the center of the room, kneeled, and apologized to her parents. No tantrums, no whining, no bargaining. It was a deep, sincere apology. A heartfelt apology for everything she had done, and the worries she had caused. Arya also promised to never do those things again, and that she will make up to everyone she has wronged. Regis and Rael were moved. They could feel her sincerity, and Regis simply walked over slowly and kneeled down to Arya’s level and hugged her while rocking her gently. Just the two of them on the floor, both on their knees, in a deep embrace. One that they haven’t shared since Arya’s early teen years. Then Rael joined in, and the three of them couldn’t hold back their tears anymore, and they all sobbed together. It was messy. A good mess. Repentance leads to reconciliation, which leads to the start of a new beginning.

Arya first started by apologizing to everyone she has wronged in both writing and in person. She wrote to them first, because she wasn’t sure if they would even want to see her. After she got permission, she then went to them in person and knelt and apologized for her wrongdoings. And this went on for a long time just because of the sheer number of people she had offended. It was a long list. Arya is not going to come up with excuses this time. She is going to go through all of them, as she should. Or, the ones who are willing to accept an apology from her. Some did not want to see her, even for an apology. Many of them did not respond to her letters. Some of them even replied and basically told her to screw off and to never show her face in front of them again. This made sense. Reconciliation required the effort of both perpetrator and victim to happen, and some of her victims just weren’t having it. That is the hard truth Arya has to accept and live with. For those who did accept Arya’s apologies, they genuinely forgave her. With time, wounds healed, and Arya was ready to be back as a functional member of society. It took her a while to be able to lift her head around people again, but they accepted her back, and what position is she in to reject their kindness?

Garyth and Alethea forgave Arya too. Well, Alethea never held a grudge against Arya in the first place, Garyth just told her that she should be mad at their half-sister for manipulating them. It took a much longer time for Garyth to forgive Arya, but eventually he was able to find peace with her and move on from the past. Though, sometimes he still has a hard time looking at her face. She was a bully, even if she tries her hardest to make up to them now.

What about Arya’s duties? Well, Arya picked up her responsibilities as future Clan Leader once more. She had been neglecting them for the entire duration of her delinquency, and now she’s back at it, as she should. In fact, she’s working harder than ever before. And she’s also intensely training herself in spars. Her aim is to succeed Regis as Clan Leader as soon as possible, so he can be free to enjoy the rest of his remaining lifespan without being so busy with work and duties.

Arya’s stepping back into the light doesn’t mean that her issues have disappeared completely. In fact, they’re very much still there. The grief was real. The sadness was real. It’s a wound that will never heal in Arya’s heart, and it stings every time she thinks about her daddy dying. It’s just that her conscience has won for once and all, and she isn’t going to let the bad side of her personality to take over her anymore. She can keep it in. She has to. So what’s her new coping mechanism for her grief? Three… two… one… yep, ya guessed it. Acting like she’s happy. Too happy. Her fake cheerful personality that she puts on to trick Regis into thinking she is having a good time. The overly enthusiastic Arya who is cringy and spontaneous, but fun. She doesn’t want Regis to worry about her anymore, and wants him to be able to eventually pass knowing that she is happy and fulfilled. Yeahhhh, it’s coming together in a full circle! Woo! Is this a better alternative to her previous coping mechanism of being a delinquent? It’s debatable. Maybe this is just as unhealthy. Maybe even unhealthier. But for now… this’ll do. She has no other choice. She’ll keep up this fake cheerful persona for as long as she can. Until she breaks down again.

(Note that Arya still hasn’t told her parents that she is troubled with Regis’ impeding death. Nobody knows. They know she will never fall into crime again, but still don’t have any clue about why she was like that in first place.)

Well, the good news is, eventually Arya is able to communicate with her parents about her true thoughts a feelings. It does take a long time, and that is for a separate post. Yeeee saving that for later hehe. I will explain Arya’s relationship with her girlfriend Susanna in a separate post too!

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for the next long character post!

See you again!

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

i saw “Jiang Yanli is a well-written character actually” and i had to follow you

Thank you very much! I do very much think she's a character people give very little credit to in the fandom – I did actually start writing a meta on this last year, and because I'm not sure when I'll finish it*, I'll post an excerpt here:

She’s a much deeper character than people give her credit for, and part of that stems from just how coherent her traits are with her background. And I feel bad for her, because she’s so much more well-written than people give her credit for. And more than that, she’s just so very human. She’s like Lan Xichen in a lot of ways (and the way that the fandom treats them is very similar, too). They’re both sheltered and naive, and often wilfully so, but ultimately want the best for the people they consider family. The only problem is that they’re not willing to confront their worldview to do that until it’s too late – they want the world to be like the comfort of how they think they is, and ignore the signs that point to something else. And that’s a very understandable! It takes a lot of courage to confront your worldview and replace it with a truth that’s worse, and not very many people have the courage to willingly do that – and that makes them flawed and perhaps complacent, but not evil in any way.  And the best part about this in Jiang Yanli is that it makes perfect sense with the way she was brought up.  She was sheltered pretty much all the time in her early life – she doesn’t go to Gusu to study, she doesn’t go to the Wen indoctrination camp, she doesn’t really experience anything that broadens her horizons and perspective and forces her to face and confront the harshness of the world. Even when Lotus Pier falls, she doesn’t experience it first-hand – which may hurt just as much, but yet again she doesn’t have to physically confront the Wen clan’s tyranny. She’s not brought up as a cultivator who goes out to face danger and fight foes and inevitably experience the harshness of the world, she’s brought up as somebody from a wealthy clan whose role is to marry for political gain into another wealthy family, where she’ll presumably be sheltered all her life, too.  By that time the Fall of Lotus Pier happens, and everything else after that, she’s grown up and her mind isn’t as susceptible to being shaped by new experiences – her view of what the world is and how she thinks it is is already instilled into her, and much, much harder to change. And she wants nothing more to hold onto that world – she doesn’t want to venture out of her comfort zone or confront truths that may be painful. We see that all the time in her actions. During the Sunshot Campaign, during a war, what does she focus on? Her familiar childhood crush on Jin ZiXuan, and by extension the familiar life that was planned out for her; and her ability to make soup, something she made all the time at Lotus Pier for her family there. When Wei Wuxian is protecting the Wen remnants, what does she cling onto? The idea that nothing’s wrong, that he and her and Jiang Cheng can still be a happy family because that’s how it’s always been to her, even if that was never really the case, and even if it’s impossible; her soup, again, and it’s not just because she likes making the soup, it’s again symbolic of their childhood days in Yunmeng. During the gathering at Nightless City, why does she go? To see her brother one last time.  I think that that aspect of her also stems from the volatility of Lotus Pier – she wants things to be predictable, to be safe, she wants to be in control of her grasp over the situation. That’s why she de-escalates conflict the way she does, that’s why she stays ignorant to the more sinister parts of the world. She wants things to stay how she knows them to be. She does try to distract people from conflict rather than resolving it, which can do more harm than help, but it makes sense with her character – she grew up in the incredibly volatile Lotus Pier, with her parents arguing all the time, and of course that affects her! Of course she wants to avoid that! And she takes after the only example she has of someone trying to de-escalate conflict, Jiang Fengmian, who does the same thing. (September 2022)

*I'm saying this because 1) I know I've been very inactive lately, which is because currently my hyperfixations are on other fandoms (they always cycle back around, but it can take a while) so it's harder to make myself write content here; and 2) because I haven't read MDZS in a while so don't want to write using only use information from my memory without canon sources, and risk misinterpreting something or giving a reading that doesn't fit with the source material. I do plan to read it again, but I'm not confident in how accurate I can be right now, and I definitely don't want to spread misinformation. Even the excerpt above doesn't have evidence ie quotes, which I'd quite like to back up the claims I make. But yes, thank you very much for the ask!