#and this time i said 'i'm gonna do myself a solid and pay extra for that fancy uv protection' AND WHAT HAPPENS

[a-suspicious-number-of-ducks]

Hermit-a-Day May, Day 15: FalseSymmetry. Today's style/medium is She-Ra and the Princesses of Power! My thought process for this matchup wasn't particularly profound--I knew I wanted to do someone in She-Ra style, because I adore the show, and the queen of hearts, heads, and body parts seemed fitting for a series about a bunch of strong, terrifying women, one of whom wields a frick-off giant magic sword. Details and references under the read more!

So... I don't really have specific references I can point to, because I just turned on season 1 of She-Ra and watched almost to the end of season 3 by the time I was done with the drawing. Any time I needed to check a style thing, I would just...let the current episode play until I saw an example of the way the animators drew that specific thing. That being said, False's face was primarily referenced from Adora, her knees from Glimmer, and her hands from Entrapta because Entrapta was the first person to have a good shot of their hands while I was looking. Here's a couple pictures of the general style, if you want to judge for yourself how I did at emulating it:

Additional references include False's Minecraft skin (of course) and several pictures of myself doing the pose, complete with sword.

She-Ra's style is very smooth and relatively simple, with broad stretches of plain colors. Shading is rare and usually only for temporary lighting effects, so I left my drawing unshaded. Everything is just so clean, because...it's an animated show and animating fiddly details sucks. I really enjoy She-Ra's character design and art style, so it was a ton of fun to get to try it out for myself.

I had to pay extra attention to the eyes and ears, two of the most distinctive She-Ra style hallmarks in my opinion--as well as the iconic solid shaded blush across the cheeks and nose, but that part was easy. I also had to use a smoother inking brush than my normal toothy ink pen, which meant that inking/lining took forever. That is why this is nearly two hours late. Don't look at me.

Fun fact if you read this far: Catra is around 72% of the reason I finally realized/admitted I was bi at the tender age of like.... 17. She was just too pretty for me to stay in denial.

I feel like I'm forgetting something but it's 3am so I'm just gonna hit post. Cheers!

[theamateurartistblog]

The Sad Tale of an Artist's Burnout

I have been burnout over a lot of things but being burnout because of art hits differently. Art burnouts are the worst. Imagine just losing your passion for something or having to force yourself to do so. If this sounds like something you’re going through have no fear, I’m here. Imma tell you how to prevent a burnout and some tips that will help you get back into shape in no time.

Stop Drawing

Mcutie are you serious? Yes, I’m not joking. Stop drawing. Your brain is tired of doing the same thing over and over again, give it a break. Find another hobby, play a game, watch a movie, catch up on a comic or manga (if you want some recommendations I got you;) maybe then you will find inspiration to draw.

Ease your mind a little. What always helps me is ASMRs, find a channel you like and relax to them or put on some Lofi tunes, whatever it takes for you to get your mind out of the sketchbook. Don’t think that when you stop drawing you’re gonna lose your talent, you can’t lose talent but you can lose passion.

Stop looking for likes and views

They'll come eventually, I'm still in the baby stages myself and sometimes it's disappointing not to see any likes or views but that just takes the fun out of art. Social Media is tiring especially with the algorithm doing whatever it likes. If you run an art page why not give it a break a little, maybe the stress of putting out too much content is getting to you.

Also, the self-declared “art critics” don't help either (baby artists please ignore these people, pay attention to the ones who really give you solid advice) so drop social media for a while and post your art unless you want to.

“But Mcutie I need to advertise to get commissions!” (in a future post, I'll give you tips on how to make money with your art). I hear you, but the posts you have in your feed are already enough to tell your audience about what you do and which commissions you’ll take. My advice is to shake it up a bit, instead of Instagram try Twitter maybe art station or deviant art, they have some nice communities on there.

Or better yet create your little website and build a community around it (I'm currently trying this one on Tumblr so follow me on my journey if you want) who knows maybe you’ll find people who respect and admire what you do. ^^

Don’t Compare Yourself!

HA! I need to take my advice. It’s easy to compare yourself with others and let’s be frank there is always gonna be a better artist or athlete or dancer but there is never gonna be another you. The way how YOU draw is different from other artists, no two people are the same and no two artists have the same style unless one artist copies from another. However, it's good to try out new styles and see how you can implement them into your drawings. You may find something that can add an extra spice to your art.

Find Inspiration - Outside!!!

AHA! You thought I was gonna tell you to take up Pinterest and browse huh? Nope! I need YOU to TOUCH SOME GRASS! Look at the clouds find shapes in them, take a walk in the park or something. “But what if it is snowing?” Who cares?! Sit at your window and watch the snowflakes fall you may just find something that inspires you. Doing this motivates you to take up that pen and paper or tablet or whatever kids use these days and draw.

Sleep!! - Please Sleep...

Once again…….I need to take my advice. But let’s face it have you ever gone to bed and suddenly at exactly 3:00 am you get the urge to get creative? That’s what you want! Therefore, get some rest, take a nice bath, rub on your favorite lotion, put on your favorite PJs, and sleep it out. “I suffer from insomnia….” So do I but if it is chronic go and see the doctor maybe you need medical assistance, if not try playing rain sounds or as I said earlier find your favorite ASMRist and just close you’re eyes and fall asleep.

In Conclusion....

At the end of the day, something is gonna burn us out whether it is work, hobbies, or just life in general but the thing is we do not want to stay in a burnout. Besides if you stay in a burnout you’ll just shrivel up and die. So try my tips and if you have anything to add say it in the comments so others can benefit from them. Until next time stay healthy and stay cute.

(〃＾▽＾〃)

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 💝💕 (no pressure!!)

OKAY I HAVE LIKE THIRTY PLAYLISTS AND NO FAVORITES so im doing my top songs of all time on tidal (and I'm gonna include my favorite lyric bc I'm extra)

Hollow - Noah Kahan

Who do you wanna be in fifty years? I'm saying, "I just want to be alive"

All I'm saying is if this song was available in 2017 I would have the lyrics tattooed on my body already

2. An Otherwise Disappoint Life - Frightened Rabbit

I have a long list of tepid disappointments It doesn't mention you

This whole album was a solid YEAR of my life I listened to it on my MP3 player while riding the bus to school all the time.

3. Your Sister Was RIght - Wilbur

tbh this song is fine but it's only on here bc it was on my playlist of Hands Off and I listened to ONLY THAT PLAYLIST for several weeks. I don't love it, it just made it into my top songs by proxy.

4. Orange Juice - Noah Kahan

You said my heart has changed and my soul has changed And my heart, and my heart That my life has changed, that this town had changed And you had not

albums that altered my brain chemistry tbh??? this whole album is on my top listened if it were a CD i would have worn it out by now

5. girl in a china shop - Caroline Romano

I am a girl in a china shop Counting the damage can't pay the cost I break things, I take things Composure I'm faking Compound my mistakes Until everyone hates me I am a girl in a china shop Scared that my worst is the best that I've got

The whole chorus (and the whole song, really,) goes so hard I don't know what to do with myself

like holy shit it's a slapper its a jammer it's a DROP DEAD good song.

[tsuncda]

i’m going to scream my dog just ruined my bRaNd NeW gLaSsEs—

[quillsareswords]

Happy Early Valentine's day!!!!

I read your laziest valentine's day one. Can you do a very busy day one?? Like the reader is out becuz of work and deadline and Damian is out doing vigilante stuff.

Idk what to write in this but......yeah. It's like real life Valentine's cuz it's not a national holiday where I'm from -_-

Ugh why can't the whole world just jump on board for love day? I'm single and it's still one of my favorite holidays. Whole day in bed watching roms and eating myself sick on chocolate 😩 Remember to love yourselves babes, you don't need anyone but yourself today 😘

MASTER LIST in BIO

"I can't believe this," he growls, clicking his belt together with more anger than you've ever seen someone latch a belt. "Who robs a jewelry store on Valentine's Day? In broad daylight, no less."

You're still in bed, barely dressed, trying to look as supportive as you can despite being this ticked off. "Somebody who forgot it was Valentine's Day and now has a very angry partner to appease."

He glares sideways at you. "I don't think this is funny."

He really doesn't. In fact, this is probably the angriest he's been thus far this year. All he wanted was to lay in bed with you today. That's it. He'd stocked up on chocolate and had plans for making you a late breakfast in bed, and you'd lined up a slew of cheesy romance favorites from Pride and Prejudice to Corpse Bride.

And then Tim called him and said there was a goddamn hostage situation in a Kay's Jewelry store downtown, and they were threatening to blow the whole block sky-high.

You twist a lick of hair around your finger. "It'll be fine." You keep your eyes on him, hoping he'll turn around and meet them. "I'll be right here when you get back. I took the day off remember?"

He twists his face and pitches his voice, "I too the day off." He yanks the laces of his boots tight. "Lucky you, picking your hours."

You roll your eyes. "Don't go picking fights when you're gonna want snuggles later."

He juts a finger at you while he reaches for his tunic. "Don't ever use that word again."

You chuckle, propping yourself up on your elbows. "What? Snuggles? So you don't want me to hold you and play with your hair while you try not to cry at the end of The Notebook?"

He glares at you again. He might argue, lie through his teeth and tell you no, if that wasn't his exact plan for this afternoon.

You smile smugly at his silence. "Thought so." You wait until he's got his tunic Velcro'd so he can look at you again. "It'll be fine," you repeat.

You know this is important to him. He likes making plans with you; setting aside time with the specific intent of spending all of it with you. He doesn't have a lot of spare time these days, but he makes time for you. You always appreciate it, of course, but you wish he wouldn't take it so hard when those plans have to change.

It is fine. Yeah, sure, it's Valentine's Day, and you've been looking forward to a solid day off, and some unrushed quality time with your lovely boyfriend sounds heavenly—but there will be other days.

He'll make sure of it.

He doesn't argue about it anymore before he leaves. He grumbles and complains, of course, but he doesn't argue that it will, ultimately, be fine.

Until he gets a text from you on his way home.

So...work called. Three people called out with covid so they're calling me in. They're paying me over time and giving me an extra day off next week as compensation. Lemme know what day you're free so I can take the same day. Sorry. ❤️

He swaps the sweaty uniform for his civvies the moment he gets home. Well, it's one in the afternoon, and he's got four hours to himself. On Valentine's Day.

You get home close to dark. You're tired and the beginning of a headache had balled itself into the front of your head, but you're happy to be home.

He's waiting for you right there by the front door. "Funny seeing you here. Come here often?"

You snort. "Not as much as I used to." You bend over to start prying your shoes off, but he beats you to it.

He hits his knees and starts unlacing them. "I brought you flowers," he says. "And there's a hot shower calling your name. Not a single dirty dish in the entire apartment. I even moved the pile of laundry to the guest room so we don't have to look at it."

You laugh. "Oh really? A real man of the house, huh?"

He grins up at you, all boyish and lovesick. Your heart stutters in your chest the same moment your lungs seize. You try to think up something else witty to say, but you can't dredge anything up. "I might've swiped a bottle from Father's cellar, as well," he admits, pulling off your second shoe. "And I might have already had a glass or two."

You snort. One would think Damian would be at least a somewhat experienced drinker—but he really isn't. He doesn't like the idea of not quiet being completely in control of himself, so he doesn't drink often, and that means he's what Jason would call a light weight. Course, by Jason's standards, so is Bruce.

He does drink with you, though, on occasion. When it's just the two of you, in your shared apartment, with all the doors and windows locked and the curtains drawn, he'll throw his guard down like the heaviest suit of armour and he's dying for a decent breath.

Tonight isn't different. He's grinning down at you sometime long after the sun's gone. You're sprawled out on the soft area rug in the living room, tipsy smile stretching your cheeks, eyes glittering joy. He looks much the same, havering over you with his hands planted on his knees. There's some indie rom-com playing on the television, just a little too loud.

"Ya know," he starts, still grinning down at you like some middle schooler who hasn't had to meet the real atrocities of life yet. "We've never had a normal Valentine's Day."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he heaves, dropping himself uncharacteristically clumsily onto the floor beside you, "last year you couldn't sleep. The year before that, you– I, uh–" he pauses to chuckle at himself, "you stayed up to wait for me to get home, remember?"

You wiggle across the carpet, pressing yourself flush into his side. You lay your head on the arm he stretches out for you. "I remember. It wasn't that bad, though. I've had much worse."

"Sure, but we've never had a normal one."

You hum. "By what standards?"

He lets his eyes wander the ceiling, and the fan that spins above you. "By– I don't know. Movies, I suppose. Television shows."

You shrug against him. "Those are boring anyway, don't you think? I mean, you know how it's going to end. Either everybody gets who they're supposed to get and everything turns out fine, or everybody gets their heart broken and goes their seperate ways." You try to watch one of the fan blades spin, but you get them mixed up somewhere on the third rotation. "Plus, all the dates are– I dunno. Kind of boring. It's sweet, don't get me wrong, but I don't know. It's just all so staged."

"They are movies, beloved."

"Exactly. They're movies." You reach up to hook your fingers with those of the hand attached to the arm you're laying on. "You and I aren't in a movie. Things don't always work out. But since there's no script, we get to do whatever we want. Like, yeah, sure our plans for jacked. But look at us now, right? Drunk on a Monday night, havin' the greatest time to be had."

He laughs, deep and loud. It shakes you into laughing with him. "I'm not drunk," he tries, but he's laughing so hard that it comes out crackly and slurred anyway.

"Fine," you allow, "tipsy. We're tipsy, laying on a floor. In our apartment." You twist and roll until you're on your stomach, leaning up on your elbows. "But it's fun, right?"

He looks away from the ceiling. Because he who would want to look at boring old ceiling when you are within view? "Very."

"Yeah," you grin. "We don't need a normal Valentine's Day. We just need an us Valentine's Day. Which means that nothing goes all the way right and we have to improvise 75% of it, but that's okay. We have pretty great on-the-spot ideas anyway."

His grin softens, the way an old picture does with age. All those bright colors are still there, all directed at you. He just stares for a long few minutes, as if he's trying burn this exact moment into his brain until it's the only thing he'll be able to see when he closes his eyes.

And then, quietly and giggly, "I think you're smarter when you're drunk."

[faythelyse]

Joji x Reader {female reader} Apocalyptic Setting <Part One>

The sound of your closest friends baby jolts you awake. You had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair near the window. You stand and stretch for a moment before walking into the kitchen. Jessica meets you at the doorway to the kitchen.

"We're officially out of food." She bounces her daughter on her knee.

"Alright, I'll grab Ashlee and we can hit that up this place we noticed coming back from our last haul. It looked like a department store or something. I have an extra cheese stick in my bag if Jade is hungry."

Jessica knods and sighs. You knew saving that cheese stick was a good call. After grabbing the snack for Jade you head to the garage where Ashlee was working on the truck we scored a few months ago. Ashlee notices you enter and slams her hand on the top. "We still need some gas for this bad boy!"

"No time like the present to go look for some?!" You add expecting a negative response.

Ashlees face turned sour. "We're out of food."

"Yep. You going."

"Well of course, but we just went on a trip 3 days ago. Those rations were supposed to last a week. Jess eats like a fucking pig." Ashlee starts throwing her gloves off onto the desk and prepares a bag for the emergency food trip we are underprepared for in all honesty.

"How much ammo do we have left?"

Ashlee sighs heavily "We were low last trip. We might have 5 or 6 shells left for the shotgun."

"And the handgun?" You interject.

"Fifteen." Ashlee finishes packing up leaving the shotgun for me to take. "I'm gonna take a smoke break. Meet me out front when your ready to roll." She puts the cigarette in her mouth and walks out.

Grabbing the gun you quickly head for your room to gather the essentials. Outside Ashlee was taking the last drag off her cigarette before flicking it to the road. I stare at the bikes in front of us wishing we had gas for the truck. "Jesus christ I hate these bikes, I'm wore out by the time we get to wherever we're going." Ashlee smiles. "Soon Y/N" Ashlee closes her eyes and daydreams for a moment. Imagining life with a car again.

About halfway there we stop and scout a bit. Make sure no one is out and about before we pull closer into this town.

Right on the edge of town we leave our bikes locked to a tree behind a small abandoned house. It was a soft pink color. It somewhat stood out making it easier to remember where we left our things. We chat quietly while making our way to a large department store.

The store was huge. The sign had fallen partially. A corner of the building was also caving in. Jessica, never going out on many supply trips didn't always realize the danger she put Ashlee and I in on a somewhat regular basis. Although we have become better at it over time.

As we arrived at the doors we became silent. Searching for any possible noises or animals that could get us in worse trouble than we were already putting ourselves in. Instead of going in through the front we found a side door that appeared quieter to open. Upon entering we were stunned to see lots of stuff still on the shelves. Why had this store not been hit so badly by looters. Shocked by the nostalgia and childlike joy we let our gaurd down. We casually walked down aisles and shared past memories that seemed insignificant then. We would give anything to be able to visit a store normally again. Buy a new dress to wear for date night or some shit.

"Holy shit, they have mother fucking WINE!!!"

Ashlee was almost in tears, and I couldn't contain my smile. We packed as many as we could. We still needed room for actual food.

Just then we both heard a single gunshot so we dropped immediately to the floor as quickly as possible. Readying our guns we slowly get up and sneak closer to the back of the store where the gun had fired. There is a hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and what I assume might be the head office or the workers lounge area. We see a shadow at first emerging from the hallway. We aim thinking it could be one of the infected, but it was just a man. He pulled out a walkie telling someone on the other end he's fine. Ashlee and I are frozen for a minute. We hadn't seen people in a long time. Hell it's even been awhile since we've seen an infected. They have been sparce lately. Probably just spreading out more. Although we weren't a very populated area anyway. Ashlee whispers "What do we do, ignore them?" I shrug not knowing myself. It would be risky to assume they are friendly. And if they were to rob us we would be left with nothing. Another man runs up, he has a large backpack on. Ashlee and I locked eyes for a moment. We had the same idea to potentially rob this man. I shake my head. "Maybe they will trade?" I whisper.

Ashlee shakes her head in disbelief that they would consider trading. We had not glanced back at the men for a minute, when we turned back to check on them they were gone. I turn back and shrug, if they were gone then we had no further issue. Ashlee and I nod knowing we should get a move on and wrap this up before we get spotted. While crouching we slowly walk around the nearest aisle where we are met face to face with the two men we had just spotted. Both shocked we all immediately stand, but none of us draw a weapon. After a solid 30 seconds of no speaking just staring I speak up

" We really just need to grab some food, we won't be any trouble." It was then that I noticed one of them was injured.

"You're hurt?" I said softly. Ashlee also softened her expression when she noticed the wound. Ashlee broke her silence as well, "Y/N is a healer of sorts, maybe we can help."

Ashlee and I are both suckers for wanting to help. The man with big sad brown eyes looked at me with some hope.

"Can you really hel-ehp" he stopped abruptly and grabbed the wound on his side that started to soak through his thick green coat. I couldn't tell the severity of it, I didn't want him to die though, so in the moment I just decided to say yes. His friend went alongside him to help support him. "My name is Ben" He proceeded to shake Ashlees hand and then my own. "This is George, nice to meet you. We were here looking for medical supplies, if you could help us out we would pay you back some how. Whatever you need, I promise. We'll work it off."

"I'm not a real doctor or anything man. I just started learning this stuff since the world went to shit. I've practiced on dogs, and cats, a few humans. Nothing too crazy. I've become pretty decent at sew up jobs. I just promise to do my best to help. If something goes wrong I just cant have you blaming me."

Ben smiled "Listen, its not like im going to find some heart surgeon out here. Anything you can do to help is better than whatever I could come up with."

Ashlee walks up to the other side of George and throws his arm over her neck. "I'll help walk him to the bikes."

I nod and quickly grab everything i can that is edible, even found a few seed packets. Elena will be stoked to add these to her garden.

We biked back to our little community that cosisted of 2 houses that have been conjoined by fencing in the two. Its somewhat protected by being hidden in the many trees that surround our community.

Jessica was sitting smoking outside. As she saw us pull up with two strangers she looked worried. I held up my hand to show her everything was okay and waved. We brought George in and laid him in a spare room we had set up for me to work on anyone who had been hurt. There was no bed, only a futon mattress had been laid on the floor.

"Set him down gently." Ben whispered.

Ashlee had a worried expression, I could tell she was worried about the blood loss. He appeared paler than before. I sat down and started preparing my equipment as fast as possible and urged Ashlee to grab some other things I needed.

As I neared being finished with sterilizing the needle I told everyone to leave the room. I can never concentrate while people watch. I had assumed George was knocked out when I reached down to start removing his jacket he grabbed my wrist.

"This is going to fucking hurt isn't it." He breathed. I nodded. I had nothing to numb him. Then I remembered the extra wine Ashlee and I had discovered. We had grabbed six bottles. I pulled out a bottle and handed it to George. He glanced it over.

"For the pain?"

"For the pain." I said as took it back from him to open it. After opening I asked if he would like a cup.

"Bottles fine, lets get this over with." He started to shrug off his jacket exposing the large gash on his side. Hopefully he hadn't punctured an organ or something I couldn't fix.

He took 3 large drinks and motioned for me to come to him. I started cleaning the wound to the best of my ability with what we had. It was time to start sewing. Sewing still makes me nervous.

I was ready to pierce skin when he interrupted.

"Do you have anything to bite on?"

I took the belt that was around my waist wrapped it up and handed it to him. He bit down and nodded to show he was ready.

I started and his eyes rolled back into his head, I kept going. I wanted this to be over as fast as possible. He started making a few small shrieks here and there but he was toughing it out rather well I thought.

As I was getting to the last few stitches his hand found my leg and grabbed it tightly. I felt horrible for causing him so much pain.

I started to just mumble I'm sorry over and over again until I had finally finished. His head fell back onto the pillow in exhaustion and agony. I leaned up and pressed my hand to his forehead and face and apologized some more. Trying to gauge how well he was actually doing. I stopped myself and realized I needed to finish by covering it with a bandage. I grabbed clean cloth from the cabinet and bandaged him. I look at him for a moment. I should grab his friend and let him know I've finished. He probably wants to wait with him until he wakes up. As I struggle to stand back up George's hand grabs mine and squeezes. I squeeze back giving him reasurrence, and leave to confront everyone.

Ben steps up to me immediately as i exit the room.

"What's the damage, is he cool? Are we good?"

I could tell he was nervous about the answer.

"I'm not sure yet honestly, he's all stiched up. He's also still alive and lucid which is a good sign. It's going to take a long time to heal. Maybe a month or two. It also needs to stay clean and free of infection. I recommend staying here until he's fully healed. Ben seemed pleased with my answers "Can I go see him now?" I nodded and he rushed in.

Ashlee pulled me to the side. "You reccomend they stay for two months?"

"Yes, that was my recommendation. He was hurt prerty bad, he shouldn't be moving at all for atleast 3 weeks. I think we should just chill. As long as he heals well, we could use their help."

Ashlee crosses her arms. "This is risky, but Im with you. It's nice to have new faces around."

"I agree" I smile, feeling slightly better that I may have saved someone's life.

[dylanobrienisbatman]

oh heyyyy can i please have pirate mechanic and 22?? I'M SO EXCITED

…in a rush of adrenaline.

Raven wasn’t one to be afraid of anything, ever. She was a zero g mechanic, a literal ASTRONAUT, who had been to OUTER SPACE in nothing more than a space suit, for fucks sake. She’d been sky diving, bungee jumping, zip lining, she used to go bouldering off the sides of mountains for fun before she got hurt and her leg wouldn’t let her. She was an adrenaline junkie, to put it mildly, but the one thing she never, ever did, was ride a motorcycle. Everything else, every other insane crazy thing she did, there was a modicum of safety to it. In space, everyone was trained to know exactly what to do, and everything was tested to perfection before she went. Sure it was dangerous, but it was all SCIENCE. She wasn’t afraid of science. Sky diving and bungee jumping and zip lining were SAFE, they had to be for people to be able to pay to do it as excursions. Normal average people could go bungee jumping on vacation. Bouldering was a little risky, but she never went high enough that she could have DIED from the fall, maybe gotten pretty hurt, but she went with friends, and knew the safety rules. Motorcycles though? There was nothing safe about that. In a fast car, you had some kind of buffer, some level of protection from seatbelts and airbags, but on a motorcycle you had nothing. You were out in the open, strapped to nothing, a helmet and some leather if you were smart, flying down the road. When she saw motorcycles weaving in and out of cars on the freeway, she scoffed, and hoped she wouldn’t see them being scraped off the road with a shovel later. She assumed no smart person would ever put themselves in that kind of danger.

And then she met Ezekiel Shaw.

Zeke used to be an Air Force Pilot, and then he was a scientist for NASA. He worked on the crafts on the ground that she worked on in space, and was damn good at it, though she’d never tell him that. He was brilliant, the first person she ever met who could match wits with her day in, day out. And Zeke Shaw rode his Harley into work. Every. Single. Day.

She scolded him for it when they first met, spouting statistics about deaths by motorcycle at him from memory, but he just smirked, waved her off, called her a “fraidy-cat” (yes, he used that exact phrase. He wasn’t catholic anymore, but he had been raised that way, and never swore, ever), and tugged his helmet on, roaring away out of the parking lot while she climbed into her car.

Her relationship with Zeke was a complex one. On the one hand, he was her friend, a great friend, a confidant who she bounced ideas off of and worked well with, her equal in brains and wit. On the other hand, he was delicious to look at and Raven wanted to jump his bones. This combination made the fact that he rode that stupid motorcycle very troubling to her, and it took a toll on her mental state. She got in the habit of calling him around the time she knew he’d be home every day, under the guise of wanting to talk about work or some new theory she was studying, but really she was just checking to make sure he made it home every day, alive. She always offered to swing by and pick him up when they would make plans, even though it was well out of her way, because the idea of him getting on that bike to come see her and then becoming road burn in the process made her sick to her stomach, but he always turned her down, and always showed up in one piece.

They had known each other about a year and 3 months, when the universe conspired against her.

She had called Zeke to see if he wanted to come into work with her on a Sunday and help her run a simulation she had been tossing around, and he lept at the chance, like always. He had been helping her write the simulation, and plan the program for almost two months, and she knew he’d want to see it through. It was pouring rain, so she offered him a ride, as always, and he turned her down, as always, showing up to work at the same time as she did even though she knew he lived an extra 15 minutes further away. They spent the whole Sunday in the lab, downing espresso shots from the bosses machine in her office and running and re-running the simulation, ordering thai takeout while they tried to get it perfect. It was late, almost 9pm, when they finally called it a day, and headed out the door, walked into the parking lot, and Raven realised she had left her lights on all day long. She tried to start her car twice, but she knew she would need a jump and there was no one around , the lab was almost 10 miles from town. She thought about calling a tow, but calling a tow for a jump seemed stupid, there would be people at the office tomorrow who could give her a jump, and she was halfway through trying to price out an Uber when Zeke shoved a helmet in front of her face.

“Come on Reyes, you’re really gonna pay for an Uber when I can just take you home myself?”

“No way. No way in hell am i getting on that deathtrap.” She kept typing in her address.

“You’ll have to get one back in the morning too, and you know its like… 30 bucks both ways. Thats $60 you could avoid by just strapping on this helmet and letting me take you home.”

“No way!! I dont care how much it costs, im so not doing that.”

“Look. I know you think its unsafe, but the rain stopped at like noon, the roads are bone dry, and I promise ill go slow.” He had this twinkle in his eye that was very distracting, and the sight of him holding that helmet, leaning against the hood of her car, was doing funny things to her stomach. She glared at him.

“Do you kn-“

“do you know how many people die on those things every day?” He raised his voice a bit, to a squeaky annoying pitch, and had to jump away when she smacked at him.

“The only reason you got away is because im a cripple.” She snarked, and he laughed. “Yeah sure, blame the leg.” He said, dancing a little further away, and then coming in close, holding the helmet out. “You can pay for that Uber if you want, but I promise, I wont let anything happen to you.” She eyed him, and the bike, wary.

“Come on Reyes, you ride up into space on a ship i work on.” His voice was all teasing, but there was something else dancing behind his eyes. “Don’t you trust me, Raven?”

He barely ever used her first name, but his sincerity was like a gut punch. He was standing really close now, just enough space for the helmet between them. Finally, she took a deep breath, shut her eyes, and grabbed the helmet in both hands.

“If we die on this damn bike, I’m going to spend our entire afterlife beating your ass.” She said, pulling it down over her head, walking over to the bike.

He sat down on the front, popping the kick stand and sliding forward enough for her to fit. He pulled out a small metal bar that had been hidden in the bike, on her right side. She knew she looked shocked, and even though he couldn’t see it through the helmet, he knew anyway.

“I was always hoping i’d get you on this thing, so i added a place for you to put your leg, since i know you can’t keep it bent for so long.” She couldn’t see his face either, and she thought maybe that was a good thing. She slid onto the bike, behind him, and propped her leg up on the stand, wrapping her arms around his solid middle.

“Remember. If we die. Perpetual ghost world ass kicking.” She called, as the bike roared to life, vibrating underneath her. He laughed, nodding, and they took off.

The speed of it was unreal, the wind whipping all her clothes and the hair that was coming out of the bottom of her helmet, and she held on tighter as the sped up. He zipped down the roads, taking every turn with ease, and even though she knew he had to be going slower than he normally did, her heart rate was a million beats a minute and she could feel her adrenaline rushing through her body. She squeezed him again, and he took one hand off the bike for a second to squeeze her forearm, to reassure her. She kept her head on his shoulder, and somehow keeping her eyes open was better than closed, so she just watched as the trees zipped by, and headlights from other cars came in and out of view. The longer they rode, the more comfortable she got, and soon it was just a rush of adrenaline, and she could feel herself loosening up, smiling, until she finally sat back a little, keeping herself still firmly around his waist, and whooped into the night air. He turned his head, and she couldn’t see his face but she knew he was laughing at her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. The ride took about 20 minutes, and when they pulled into her complex parking lot, her heart rate wouldn’t quit. He popped the kick stand on his bike, and they pulled off their helmets. He got off first, and helped her off, and maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the blood rushing through her ears, or maybe it was just him, close and tall and grinning ear to ear, but something came over her.

“See, Reyes, told you you wo-“

She cut him off with her lips, throwing her arms around his neck, running her fingers over his scalp and pulling him down to her, kissing him hard. He was frozen in shock for a second, but then he responded with ferocity. He opened his mouth to her, letting her tongue slide across his teeth, and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her into the air and spinning her around. When he set her back on solid ground, and they broke the kiss, she tucked her face into his chest, holding him close.

“If you say I told you so, I’ll never kiss you again.” She muttered into his chest.

“Does that mean if i DON’T say it, you will kiss me again?” The hopeful tilt to his voice got her to look up, and his eyes were bright, a smile threatening to break his cheeks. She leaned up, pressing a kiss into his cheek.

“So I’ll definitely need that ride in the morning.” She whispered, into his ear, close and intentionally low.

“Yeah,” he said, failing at nonchalant, “what time should i swing by.”

She smirked up at him, taking him by the hand, leading him towards the door of her building.

“I’d say just whenever we wake up is good.” He tugged her back in for a kiss, quick and easy. The adrenaline was still rushing in her ears as she tugged him into her apartment, towards her room, but she wasn’t sure it was from the motorcycle anymore.

[rivkahstudies]

hi! I'm going into the pre-IB program next year, and I was wondering what you've thought about your IB experience so far and maybe some tips? x

Oh honey, bless your heart. I hope I don’t come off too cynical in saying this - I’m an IB Senior Ambassador at my school now, it’s my job to convince people to join this, but from my veteran experience I am not gonna give you the “it’s all rainbows and butterflies if you do your work on time” shtick. No, you’ll probably still cry almost as much as I did Junior year. And yet yes, yes, I still love my experience and all that I have grown as a person from it.

 Let me begin this by saying that IB is a wonderful program that exposes you to new ways of thinking and wonderful cultures, but man does it forget that we’re humans capable of stress and possibly possessing disabilities or mental illnesses. Still, despite everything I went through last year, I’d still do it over again. I’ll highlight the major points like this. Keep in mind that you don’t have to worry just yet about the full workload of IB, but you should still be prepared for this by making good habits NOW.

First of all, pre-IB is vastly different, in my experience, than IB itself. Its classes were fun, interesting, and fast-paced, just like my actual IB classes, but they workload was a thousand times easier and I never struggled through it. So, if that reassures you of what’s going to happen immediately, great!

Each school is different, of course, but in my experience pre-IB did nothing to properly prepare me for exactly how much work and how many requirements I would have to meet in one year of actual IB. We did a research paper or two a year in pre-IB and one or two a week or month in IB, and that’s not even counting the IA’s. Build good habits so you’re prepared for the actual challenge of IB, and so you breeze through pre-IB like it’s nothing.

The IA’s, by the way, are the Internal Assessments. Every class except for TOK has one, because TOK plays by its own rules. For my classes, every IA was a research paper except for Biology (which was a lab report of an experiment I need to do), Spanish (which will come next year as a 10-minute discussion in Spanish), and English (which was a 10-minute creative presentation of literary analysis of one of three books). For the love of all that is holy, when it comes to starting your IA’s in your first year of real IB, do not procrastinate.

Now, I watched a friend of mine with terrible procrastination skills make it through IB alright, but his skills suffered and it should be noted he had one extracurricular, and it was in Drama Club with me. I juggled serious responsibilities of eight different clubs and organizations, but because I didn’t procrastinate and I stayed on top of everything even when I wanted to die, I managed to stick with them all and even be elected president by my National Honor Society. My advice is, in pre-IB, to try as many clubs as you can handle that you want to be in or that benefit you, but know which ones to drop when IB rolls around. You don’t want more than 3 or 4. Make sure you have some, though, because colleges wanna see that.

Create a study and homework schedule. I didn’t do this until second semester but I always had a planner on me, and because stress and work make me forget things easily, I took to the habit of writing them in my planner, my computer, AND my calendar. Sometimes my wrist if it was very important. Be aware that pre-IB will be easier this way, but IB will need you to sometimes work during lunch or use every bit of extra class time a teacher gives you without more work.

Remember to eat and hydrate with water. Try to drink tea for caffeine instead of coffee because it’s a smaller dose and won’t get you dependent on it quickly. These seem like very obvious things but trust me, I totally stopped taking care of myself in IB. I stopped exercising, which I’m still struggling to get back into the habit of, and I often skipped meals to make it to school on time or so I could work on the mounting pile or work I have. 

Befriend your teachers. Please, for your own good. IB teachers have seen things. They have put up with a lot. They know how rigorous this is and they know what they’re kept in the dark about. But anything they are allowed to know, they will share with you if they’re worth anything as a teacher. Bond with them because you want the support and resource, not because you just want their favor. Teachers really love to see kids in the IB program that will take the initiative to fix their issues and put extra studying in rather than just whining about the circumstances of IB and their grades. I’ve seen a lot of it, trust me.

Establish a solid bedtime before midnight. I don’t know when your classes start, mine start at 9:15 and I have to be awake by 7:30 or 8. Except for the times that I had to pull all-nighters, I was always in bed by 10:30 or 11, even with all the work I had. Because your body needs sleep, for the love of all that is holy, give it sleep. You will not go very far if you don’t take care of yourself.

Don’t isolate yourself from your family, your friends, or other social things for fun. Boy did I make this mistake. Make sure you’re still alive and show your loved ones that you still care. My parents accepted that I was constantly holed up in my room to do work, but even I had to be taken to the beach or hang out with my friends if I wanted to stay sane. This shouldn’t be as much of an issue in pre-IB, so get as much social time in as you can before you have to start sacrificing it in IB, my dear.

Do not procrastinate on your CAS project in Junior/Senior year. I know you said you’re going into pre-IB so this doesn’t matter yet, but keep ideas in mind for large service projects that you start yourself. It’s part of your graduation requirement and while you can’t start it early, you shouldn’t leave it until the last minute of those two years.

Stay optimistic. I know all of this seems really scary, but IB is just a college-level workload in a high school setting. Unfortunately, that means you have 7+ classes all back-to-back giving you work that is designed to be completed with breaks between classes or days the classes aren’t on, so it’s no wonder that IB students are worked to death. However, the great thing is that IB (at least here) adds an entire point to your GPA because it’s so difficult. So I, through rigorous work and dedication, somehow managed to keep my GPA at a weighted 4.3, so it got rounded up to a maximum 5.0. 

Bless you if you decide to get a job. It’s easy in sophomore year, but I don’t know how my friends with jobs survived IB. You’ll be tired all the time, but if you’re passionate, you’ll get through it.

The good thing is that you’re entering pre-IB, which are basically just like honors courses that warm you up for IB. So my TL;DR advice is that you build good study habits and self-care habits now so that IB is extremely easy for you once it rolls around.

So a TL;DR checklist for pre-IB:

Be on time

Be ready to learn

Keep an open mind

Take care of your sweet self in body and mind

Build a good sleep schedule

Build a good study schedule

Program in breaks to your studying because you’re human

Pay attention to and bond with the teachers

Make friends, but not with people that don’t care about IB and are fine with failing

Enjoy it, because it only gets harder

Don’t get overwhelmed with the future - focus on what you’re going into now and the fact that it’s preparation

Do everything on time

Build ways to stop procrastination

Find what subjects you love

Know your limits - don’t push yourself past what you can handle

Utilize any free study time

Be nice to others and be willing to be wrong

Enjoy pre-IB while you can

I’m sorry this turned into a long, semi-cynical tirade about actual IB instead of pre-IB, but the truth is I didn’t have any trouble in pre-IB. I just suggest that you not take as many clubs on as I did and build very good habits while you can.

Thank you so much for asking me this! I love to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to IB, and I hope I didn’t scare you terribly. It’s a wonderful program and I adore it a lot, but it does test how willing you are to make yourself suffer. Luckily, I always do that if I think there’s a greater reward in it, so I’m conditioned to this by now haha. I wanted the challenge!

If you or anyone else ever needs ANYTHING with help in IB, please come to me. I am your Mama Rivkah now and I will be your shoulder to cry on, your help with studying, and your reminder that you are loved.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering how do you handle an adult life? I'm 17 and the fact that I'm going to be an adult is starting to panic me more and more. Like I CANT talk to adults. I stutter&I'm a mess. I'm even bad with my peers. Some advice on how you do it would be nice. I try to ask my parents, but they aren't very helpful and seem ready to drop me into the deep end to "teach me" a lesson about being an adult. (Sorry again about non blog related question. No obligations to answer)

Oh boy, I’m gonna do my best to answer this, but full disclosure? I’m pretty bad at being social. I have some issues, and talking to people is really hard for me. That might be helpful in this context if you’re coming from a similar situation, but I don’t know if that’s the case, so it’s possible that my stuff won’t work for you. I’ll give it a whirl anyway.

I actually was thrown into the deep end when I was about your age, because I ended up going to college in a state where I pretty literally didn’t know a single person. I don’t know if that was a positive thing or not, but I can definitely say that I’ve gotten significantly better about talking/adulting since then. I’m still terrified of everyone older than me, but I can fake my way through the majority of it now. 

For me, the biggest step was increasing my self-esteem. When I started living on my own in ‘14, my goal was basically to be invisible (a skill that I mastered a looooong time ago). I have this thing about people looking at me, so I didn’t like any kind of attention. It definitely affected the way I talked to people (I didn’t) and the way I acted.

That shifted after I discovered a couple of things

1) some attention is positive, and positive attention feels good

2) I’m imagining a lot of the judgement I feel from other people

The truth is, people don’t pay as much attention to you as you think that they do. We’re all trapped inside our own heads, right? My frame of reference puts the majority of emphasis on me, because that’s the only person I can hear and the only emotions I can feel. The same is true about you– you hear your thoughts and feel your feelings, so it seems like everybody else should be focussed on you.

That’s your mind playing tricks. Don’t believe it. Everybody else is focussed on themselves, not you, and that’s a good thing! They’re not actually looking at you. They’re just looking around. As soon as y’all walk away from each other, odds are you’ll disappear from their mind. It means that you don’t have to worry about doing everything perfectly. They don’t actually care. 

Repeat that to yourself whenever you feel like you’re doing badly. It doesn’t matter. They don’t care. They’re not that concerned about the things that you do.

Two tactics for increasing your self esteem:

Find something you’re good at and do it. A lot. I started writing fanfiction when I was 18, and it straight-up changed my life. I’d never had that level of positive reinforcement before– for the first time in my life, I felt better than mediocre, and it made me proud of my own skills. Once I knew I was good at something it became a lot easier to talk to people.

(This is where you need to bear in mind that I’m not what the kids call “mentally stable” so like…. this might not be healthy) For a solid two years, I played this mind game where whenever I felt like somebody was judging me or being unkind to me, I picked one of my more angry favorite fictional characters and imagined them yelling back at that person. It worked really well for me because it let me fight back without actually doing it myself. I don’t really get angry, so I imagined someone getting angry on my behalf. Thing is, after awhile I really could think things like “I don’t deserve this” and “hey asshole back the hell off” in my own voice. I don’t know if I can explain that any better

Practical tips for maintaining a conversation:

Ask questions. It’s a lot easier to have a conversation if they’re doing most of the talking, and they won’t think it’s weird if you seem interested. Just keep them talking by asking for more information about whatever they just said.

They’ll get more comfortable (and more talkative) the more emotion you express. Listen actively. Nod along. Say stuff like “Really??” Your eyebrows are your friends. React to the stuff they say.

If you don’t know what emotion you’re expected to express, draw your eyebrows slightly in, rest a hand on your mouth/chin, and say “interesting.” They’ll interpret that as whatever response they were expecting.

 I feel more comfortable if I’m prepared, so I straight-up have memorized anecdotes that I practice until they go smoothly. I mostly use stories about my siblings, but I also have this speech about communism that I use every time someone asks me what I’m thinking about.

I don’t know what kind of English you speak, but I realized a long time ago that if I amp up my accent, other southerners trust me more and everyone else sees me as less threatening. If that applies, use it.

Don’t be ashamed of your interests. It might seem embarrassing, but other people don’t see it that way. Niche comic book knowledge actually goes over pretty well at parties. Related tip: find The Interest of the person you’re talking to, and your life will get a lot easier. Let them teach you about it and they literally will not shut up. It’s great. Also you get good recs that way.

Tips to get people to like you:

Be helpful. Good in two ways: if you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing and that makes you feel anxious, ask whomever is in charge if there’s something you can do to help. They’ll be charmed, and you won’t feel awkward anymore. Also good because people really like the folks that do them favors. They also like the people they did favors for, so let people do things for you if they offer.

Everybody likes the kid that brought food. Bake cookies. Bring cookies. New friends. Even if you don’t talk to them afterwards, they’ll have a positive opinion of you. I never spoke to the majority of my dorm neighbors, but they all liked me because I set candy and juice boxes in the hallway every holiday. In a classroom setting, offer to share your gum, buy extra scantrons, and lend people your pens. 

I befriend people solely by throwing gifts at them until they feel my love. Ask any of my mutuals. They’ll tell you.

Kindness honestly goes a long way? A lot of people, especially young people, really need someone to be kind to them, and they’re not used to getting that. If you can be that person, it’ll help them and it will make the two of you a lot closer. That’s how real friendships start. 

Always be respectful of other people’s trust. If they tell you important things about themselves, treat it seriously. Try to understand how they feel, and then let them know that you understand. Don’t tell other people’s secrets.

Tips for forcing yourself to Do The Thing:

I keep my to do list on post-it notes stuck to my dresser, one item per note, so I can pull them off one at a time as I do them. It’s more satisfying that way.

Personally I’m a lot more willing to do the things I hate if I feel like I’m doing them for someone else. Easiest way is to get one of my friends to ask me to do it (Hey in an hour text me and tell me to go to the grocery store). The best way is to bargain with one of my friends (if you call your doctor, I’ll make a real dinner tonight)

Again… I don’t know if you’re coming from the same place as me, but it really helps me to be open about my problems. I just tell my friends about my mental health issues, and then they help me to work around them.

Treat!!! Yo!!!! Self!!!! Seriously reward yourself for getting things done. Give yourself an episode of The Office for every page you write. Buy yourself ice cream for getting your errands done. If you’re going to do something stressful, have a plan for something relaxing afterward (I’ll go to the induction ceremony, and then I’ll go to the puppy store and pet a beagle)

[Eliza voice] 🎶 T a k e  a  b r e a k 🎶 If socializing is hard for you, realize that you don’t have to do it all the time. It’s okay to opt out, especially when you won’t lose anything by doing it. Personally, I go out of my way to make sure that no one speaks to me on the bus, walking across campus, or during lunch. Those are me-times. You can make sure people get the memo by wearing big headphones, bringing a book (even if you’re only pretending to read it), and avoiding eye contact. 

I find music really helpful for prep/recovery too. It works best if you find one song and play it on repeat until you get to the stressful thing, and  then do the same thing on the way back. Focus on one element of the song at a time. If you do it right, you can hit this meditative sweet spot where you stop thinking about what you have to do.

Stress relief (take it with a grain of salt because I am 95% stress at any given time):

Make your bedroom into a happy place. Pick a strong scent and make that part of the atmosphere– your brain will start to associate that scent with calm. My room smells like Irish Spring soap. When you finish something stressful, go to your room, take a few minutes to lie down and relax, breathe in and out, smell the happy smell. You did it.

Do stupid shit that makes you happy. Blow bubbles on your porch, put colored glassware on your windowsills so the sunlight turns red and blue, sing in your bathroom so it echoes all over the place. 

I hate admitting this with every fiber of my being, but exercise does actually reduce stress. So does eating healthy and sleeping normally, but I’ve never tried those last two.

If something makes you happy, keep it around. Save birthday cards, display presents from your friends, keep a happy tag online so you have a list of stuff to come back to. Your brain will remember the positive reaction, so it’ll undo some of the damage when you’re upset. 

Making other people happy will make you happy. Easiest method? Hit that anon button on the asks, pick the top five people on your dashboard, send them a nice message. Wait for excited response

It’s okay to google “cute babies” and scroll through pics until you feel alive again

I find it helpful to make things. I don’t know, there’s something about spending a long time on a project that makes me feel more productive, especially if there’s a visible product.

Things to remember: 

They aren’t watching you. They don’t care if you mess up. Your brain is lying to you.

Your worth is inherent and cannot be diminished by any of your actions or failures

Odds are the people you meet now won’t be the same people in your life in a few years. That means you don’t have to impress them. If you embarrass yourself in front of the lady at the brochure stand, it doesn’t matter. You probably won’t ever see her again.

It’s okay if this is hard for you. You don’t have to love meeting people.

You don’t have to like everyone. You don’t have to be friends with everyone.

It’s okay to say no. I repeat: it is okay to say no.

You’re going to be okay. You have a destiny, and you will fulfill it. It’s going to turn out exactly as it should. You don’t have to worry about your future.

These things get easier with time.

There’s no shame in seeing a therapist or talking about your problems

You have talents. You are interesting. You deserve attention and praise.

You know where to find me if you need anything