#and this fucking guy is acting like we're nitpicking

[nakedmonkey]

Have you guys ever had to leave an apt you just moved into? If so, how did you deal with it mentally cause I might have to do that and I'm about to have a fucking meltdown 🤮

[sanaexus]

social's as shidou's girlfriend

-liked by itoshi_sae, isaichii and 145.7k others

yourusername: i feel bad for rin this mf don't even go easy on his on girl

tagged: shiidoryu

shiidoryu: they say all is fair in war and love ↳itoshi_sae: it's love and war fucking idiot ↳shiidoryu: you love me 🥺👉👈 ↳yourusername: mate IN MY FUCKING COMMENTS? ↳shiidoryu: you're saving as if i don't eat that pussy every night ↳yourusername: blocked. reported. I FUCKING HATE YOU??? ↳chigi.who: woah guys maybe like don't do that here??

nikkoki: why the last image. ↳yourusername: why not 🙁 ↳megubachi: for gits and shiggles 🥰 ↳rin.itoshi: that's not the fucking quote?? ↳megubachi: and you're not the best striker so stafu ↳rin.itoshi: TAJTS SO UNNNESCARY?? ↳isaichii: look at rin finally genz-ing w the spelling errors and capital letters ↳hiyori: feels like yesterday he was js a little baby ↳megubachi: they grow up too fast ↳rin.itoshi: you guys are my 13th reason.

shiidoryu: si 💔you💔won't💔mention💔the💔part💔where💔i💔 bought💔you💔icecream💔and 💔then💔talked💔sjit💔ab 💔your💔ex💔 ↳yourusername: and you're not gonna mention the part where we had the bet who could swing the fastest and i won bc you fell on your butt and felt like you were ab to throw up so you HAD to get me icecream? ↳shiidoryu: #donttakltomeiamdespressed #betryaedbymyowngf #emo ↳karasu_tabito: HE FELL ON HIS ASS? DO YOU HAVE THE RECORDING I'LL PAY FOR IT ↳yourusername: bet how much we talking? ↳karasu_tabito: enough to buy another shidou prolly ↳yourusername: check your dms ↳eita.otoya: are we buying people from the black market ↳kenyu.yukimiya: no we are not the fuck?

-liked by kuniisuke, megubachi and 159.4k others

shiidoryu: i actually do love my girl and i don't always act gay

tagged: yourusername

julian.loki: "i actually do love my girl" proceeds to try to throw her into a garbage can ↳mikka.kaiser: fucking dustbin you mean? ↳hiyori: OH MY GOD U REMIND ME AB LINDASY FROM MY 4TH GRADE CLASS WHO USED TO NITPICK ON EVERYONE FOR THERE ENGLISH ↳mikka.kaiser: their* ↳isaichii: stfu it's called a trashcan ↳kuniisuke: i think we're straying off topic BC THAT'S A WHOLE AHH HUMAN THAT'S GOING TO BE PUT ON A FUCKING DUSTBIN ↳mikka.kaiser: in* ↳oliver.aikyu: i swear to fucking god i will ↳alexis.ness: nuh uh ↳yourusername: MAN KUNIGAMI AND OLIVER THE ONLY REAL ONES FR ↳oliver.aiku: we gotchu girl ↳kuniisuke: second that except in a less gay manner ↳julian.loki: SHE'S BEING PUT IN TRASH. ↳rin.itoshi: she's fine. shidou has that trash tan all the time ↳megubachi: i think she's okay considering how ego roams around with that garbage ahh haircut ↳isaichii: that trash can't be worse than igaguri's football skills, she's fine ↳mikka.kaiser: YOU SAID FOOTBALL THANK FUCKING YOU ↳shiidoryu: you're fucking him?

user1: ignoring the second picture the one is actually so cute like 🌷🧚‍♀️💅🎀💕✨‼💯 ↳yourusername: lyt cutie ↳shiidoryu: YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME CUTE? ↳yourusername: go stare at sae's ass or something ↳itoshi_sae: no don't do that don't stare at my ass ↳yourusername: jokes aside he was actually nice to me in that picture (he didn't try throwing me off) ↳user2: something in that sentence makes me think she got thrown off a swing far too many times ↳shiidoryu: in my defense she keeps putting tomatoes in my sandwhich ↳yourusername: you look like one don't blame me

karasu_tabito: did he fall on his butt this time? ↳yourusername: he was careful bc i was sitting on his lap ↳eita.otoya: shidou in his softie green flag era? ↳yourusername: what if he's actually doing this to gain my trust and like gives me off to some kidnapper ↳nikkoki: bffr rn he would probably BE the kidnapper ↳shiidoryu: yeah what if I AM the kidnapper

-liked by chigi.who, hiyori and 198.5k others

yourusername: he isn't always an asshole <3

tagged: shiidoryu

chigi.who: the last picture?? ↳yourusername: my life goals right there ↳yourusername: shidou that better be us when we grow up ↳shiidoryu: that already IS us ↳yourusername: are you called me a 73.8 year old grandma? ↳shiidoryu: IN MY DEFENSE IM CALLING MY SELF A GRANDPA TOO

aryu.jubei: your hair is very ✨glam✨drop the hair care routine (did he try to yank your hair?) ↳yourusername: check dms ↳yourusername: SURPRISNGLY NO?? HE WAS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE TODAY?? ↳shiidoryu: i'm always nice baby ↳yourusername: yeah to your side chicks ↳shiidoryu: YOU are the side chick, sae is ml ↳yourusername: oh fuck you what does that man have other than thick thighs, a thick ass and an ass attitude ↳itoshi_sae: what do i not have ↳yourusername: proper relationship with your family ↳itoshi_sae: fuck off

shiidoryu: you look pretty ↳yourusername: ily im gonna go cry ↳shiidoryu: DON'T CRY WHY ARE YOU CRYING NOW I COMPLIMENTED YOU ↳yourusername: THAT'S THE THING YOI COMPLIMENTED ME ↳shiidoryu: wajt

user3: she looks so pretty and happy in the second pic. shidou you better watch out, i'm in your walls ↳shiidoryu: my walls are nasty, what if my dead hamsters are there ↳yourusername: MY TEIGO. I BOUGHT IT TO YOUR HOUSE AND IT JS DESPAWNED ↳shiidoryu: I'M SORRY

user4: when a zesty ass loving thigh loving (man loving) tomato looking demon who kicks balls around and pick fight w emo boys can pull ↳yourusername: my dms are open for u ↳shiidoryu: no they're not ↳oliver.aiku: how much we betting that he's gonna go make 15 accounts to spam y/n dms ↳isaichii: betting a whole ahh bachira ↳megubachi: WHY ARE U BETTING ME OFF??? ↳chigi.who: betting my other acl ↳kuniisuke: HELP WHAT?? ↳kenyu.yukimiya: betting my already shit vision ↳nagi.seishiro: my gaming console ↳reo.miikage: my entire networth ↳itoshi_sae: my abibas sponsorship ↳user5: ABIBAS 🔥🔥💯💯🔛🔝🗣🗣 ↳rin.itoshi: betting off my brother ↳itoshi_sae: what

welllll that took a lot longer than it should have buttt here you go shidou simps i had fun writing this ig sorta maybe kinda idk

[not-your-bro]

things i didn't like about the until dawn remake prologue (in no particular order)

the note change

the original note to hannah is overtly sexual - "you look so damn hot in that shirt, but i bet you're even hotter out of it." the new one is a substantial tone change - "it's been fun hanging out with you... no one gets me like you do. come find me later." the vibe is shifting from "i want to hook up with you" to "i might want to confess my feelings to you," and hannah basically says as much in her new diary entry: "is it too much to hope that he'll confess his feelings about me?" but the prologue does NOT change hannah taking her shirt off asap, which now feels ridiculous. there's no reason for her to do that when the note is so low-key. we're feeding the "hannah reacts too strongly" people and i'm not into it.

the prank setup montage

my initial guess with the note change was that they wanted to make the prank seem more like a bad, insensitive joke that escalates too quickly, rather than a group of people intending to film someone taking their clothes off (which is absolutely the vibe of the original). but if that was the intent, it's completely undercut by this prolonged prank setup. it literally has the energy of people prepping for a cool heist or something. pop song bopping in the background, dramatic shots as everyone gets into position. they're all relishing in it, particularly emily, whose mocap actor gives her some evil fucking gestures and expressions. all of this totally contrasts the new note and makes everyone look seriously diabolical.

sam's passivity

while i definitely joked about how sam couldn't seem to find hannah in the original, man, at least she tried! she voiced her concern and then immediately acted on it - a very sam move, imo. in the remake, the extra padding sees her sitting in silence for too long. and even after everyone leaves her on her own, she STILL just sits there and gives this irritated eye-roll - like she's annoyed with them, but not particularly concerned for hannah. and then her searching for hannah is cut. like. homegirl does not care, apparently! imo these changes are so out of character for sam, and i can't figure why they did this. is it to ""answer"" the question of why josh targets sam - by making her more culpable now? idk, but none of it works for me.

beth's dialogue makes less sense

in the original, she glimpsed flamethrower guy, made her "did you see that?" comment, then said "josh?", THEN we see that josh is passed out.

now the order of dialogue is nonsensical. she doesn't even see flamethrower guy, first of all - we the audience get a glimpse of him while she's taking out the trash, and there's a fake-out where you think she saw him, too. but what she actually sees is a deer. so she notices nothing amiss, goes inside, sees josh passed out, and moves him to the couch. then, later, she can go to the window, see NOTHING but snow falling off a branch...and say her usual, "did you see that? i thought dad said it'd just be us this weekend." HUH? GIRL? IT WAS NOTHING? and then she still goes "josh??" as though she didn't just haul his ass to the couch without him waking up. like, he is CONKED out and you know this. why are you saying his name like you're surprised he isn't answering you?

i don't mean to nitpick, but to demonstrate that they should've been more careful about how they changed the prologue, given they couldn't change the dialogue. and speaking of that...

the pacing

i understand that they couldn't add new dialogue because of logistical or budgetary reasons or both, but extending the prologue without being able to add dialogue leads to long stretches where the characters are noticeably not talking. it's awkward to watch, despite the music trying to cover for it, and it makes the pacing really uneven.

-

in general, i appreciate the desire to add a little extra for the existing fanbase, but if ballistic moon had their hands tied and couldn't do it properly, i kind of wish they hadn't done it at all, especially because i think they're doing more harm than good here. i love hannah and beth and it's nice to just see them for a bit longer, but it comes at a cost, and at the end of the day i much prefer the original prologue.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 天国と地獄 ~サイコな2人～/ Tengoku to Jigoku: Psychona Futari / Heaven and Hell: Soul Exchange.

Heaven and Hell: Soul Exchange is a 2021 Japanese drama about a headstrong cop, the shady CEO she suspects of being a serial killer, and what happens when they magically switch bodies.

With a premise like that, there are basically two tonal choices: You can make it a wacky comedy, or you can get real fucked-up and dark about it. This 10-episode series somehow manages the secret third thing of splitting the difference, so it's got a lot of deliciously fucked-up stuff in the setup, but it never quite has the courage of its convictions to go all the way. What that gets you is the kind of frustrating that you can't stop thinking about afterward, both for what it did and what it didn't have the guts to do.

So! If you're interested in a story that's compelling and occasionally very funny, with just enough unrealized potential that your brain keeps batting it around like a kitten with a squeaky toy at 4AM, I have five reasons that you might want to give this one a shot.

1. Half-Trans: Full Trans Consequences

We're gonna hit this one right off the bat: This is a story where a girl and boy trade bodies, so you know it's got the genders.

Mochizuki Ayako is the only female cop in her department. She's headstrong, kind of obnoxious, a slob, and not particularly feminine -- so of course the dude cops hate her. In the process of investigating a serial murder, she comes across Hidaka Haruto, who's got that kind of smug sinister aura of a smart man who's clearly hiding some shit, though all his underlings love him. When they unexpectedly bodyswap with no idea how to switch back, they're forced to keep one another's lies going so they don't both wind up in jail, except she's still trying to catch him and he's still trying to get away with it.

They work a very good contrast with the difference in their respective attachments to their genders. Despite her hardass demeanor and her lack of super-femme presentation, Mochizuki is without question a woman. She's deeply uncomfortable in a male body, and when someone calls her a man, her instinct is to deny it. Having to deal with a borrowed penis nearly gives her a meltdown.

Hidaka, on the other hand, is a fruity little guy whose first response to finding himself inside a woman's body is to get all girly and take it for a test drive. It's less that he's transfeminine and more that he just really doesn't seem all that attached to any gender. He's got boobs now, and boobs are what he's going to make work for him. Regardless of his sexuality -- and the show does leave that one a big row of question marks -- his gender is gay.

There's also some fairly solid bodyswap acting! ...kinda. Both actors have unfortunately different interpretations of Mochizuki's character. If you're being charitable, it's true she's freaking out and having some kind of gender dysphoria the entire time she's in boy mode, which could explain why she's much softer and girlier when she's being played by the male actor, Takahashi Issei. If you're more inclined to nitpick, well, you're not wrong that the performances don't line up. That said, the actors both do a great job of switching characters, so it's pretty clear when they're being different people (even if it's not necessarily the same different person).

Now, you should by no means assume this show is some conscious exploration of genderqueer existence in contemporary Japan. It is, however, way more thoughtful than I expected it to be. It leaves some very interesting silences, especially around what exactly Hidaka's taste in partners is and why Mochizuki's own body kinda gives her a lesbian awakening when someone else is in there. If you're the type who likes a trans-flavored imagination adventure, this is a spectacular starting point. You're going to have a blast.

2. The Mochizuki Support Squad

Nobody from Hidaka's side realizes what's going on with the swap; sure, the boss is acting weird, but they buy his explanations for it. Mochizuki, however, has exactly two people in the world who care so much about her that they figure out what's happened: her junior cop partner, Yamaki Hideo, and her roommate, Watanabe Riku.

You have to love a character where their closest friends are like, either you've started suddenly acting polite and nice, or you've mystically swapped bodies with another person, and honestly, the bodyswap is the more likely explanation.

This is one of those places where the show takes the goofier and more lighthearted tack. Leaving it so the only people who knew about the swap were Mochizuki and Hidaka themselves would be incredibly isolating and paranoia-inducing, especially for Mochizuki. Giving her (eventually) two buddies who know what's going on both gives her a cushion of support for her ordeal and creates a number of comic moments where these guys are looking at a stranger and seeing their friend -- and vice versa.

They're both kind of daffy sweethearts, too, which adds even more comic relief to the show. Yamaki is an easily flustered, mildly hysterical nerd who just wants his mean bestie back so she can go back to telling him what to do. Riku is a blue-collar himbo who would technically be a hobosexual except for how he both really does pull his weight around the house and (probably) isn't getting laid. They're willing to put themselves on the line and do what they can to make sure their friend is okay, no matter what body she's in.

I actually like how the show has more than couple male-female dynamics where the people involved are just friends -- or, if things change so they're not, it's strongly implied that they could have gone on being just friends and that would have been fine or even better for both parties involved. Romance is not the endgame of every mixed-genital relationship! Sometimes people who love one another dearly are friends without further obligation! You can care for people a lot without wanting to fuck them! And that's great.

Besides, I know it won't shock you to learn that the real horny part of the show plays out as...

3. An interesting game of cat and mouse

Mochizuki's got an interesting problem: She's a cop inside the body of a murderer, and as long as she's stuck here, there's a murderer inside the body of a cop out on the loose. She could, as Hidaka, confess to the murders and in a way that puts him physically in jail, but she doesn't know how to swap their bodies back. She's got to keep Hidaka appeased, or he, in her official capacity, might arrest her and just keep her body forever while she goes down for the crime. She could find a way to take them both down, but that would ruin her life too and is an absolute last resort. She could just let him go and cover up the crimes, but her sense of justice won't allow it.

While Hidaka ... well, Hidaka's got a lot going on. I'm not even going to get into Hidaka's whole deal, because it's related to some late-series spoilers. The simple version is that he's got to be pretending to catch himself while actually trying to destroy evidence about the murders, all while having to dig into gendered expectations to play a version of Mochizuki capable of ingratiating herself with her asshole coworkers instead of alienating them.

And yeah, it's pretty darn horny.

It's one of those delicious enemies-to-allies-to-grudging-friends setups where you've got two people at cross purposes who have to play nice with one another (while still being very mean to one another), and in that process they find things about the other person that are actually worth liking. Because this is a literal life-and-death situation, emotions are running high! Wanting to kill someone and wanting to save them are not mutually exclusive states.

The show makes a great decision not to have Mochizuki and Hidaka hook up, or even to acknowledge that their bond has any erotic component beyond whatever's inherent in borrowing someone else's genitals. This means that their dynamic is very intimate and physical without being textually sexual, which actually winds up making it way more sexual than it would have been otherwise. It's like horror, where what you don't see is almost always scarier than what you do -- with sexual tension, especially across ostensibly heterosexual pairs, subversion and longing are almost always much sexier than having things brought to completion onscreen. I mean, seriously, think of the number of things you've seen where there's pining, and pining, and more pining, and you ship it hard, and then they finally get together and it's a giant disappointment. Better to be left hungry for more of this almost-t4t goodness.

There's also an incredible amount of lapel-grabbing and kabedon-delivering here, so if you're in to that, itadakimasu!

4. A Cop Are Bastard

There are a number of antagonists in this story -- I mean, not shocking, considering both the premise and the way the serial murder case at the heart of the story gets weirdly complicated. The most prominent and persistent of those antagonists, though, is not a serial murderer, but one of the cops.

The character's name is Kawahara Mitsuo, but Mochizuki and Yamaki call him "Seku-Hara," as those are the first two syllables of each word in "sexual harassment." It's fitting. He's sleazy, arrogant, and an entire bag of dicks who talks like a gangster and is willing to do a lot of backhanded dirty-cop shit to get his way.

All this lands him firmly in the Love To Hate category. If you enjoy throwing popcorn at onscreen villains, pop some extra for Kawahara, because that fucker deserves it.

Maybe the most interesting thing about him is how often he's actually right. When he's not being an asshole who's doing bad cop work, he actually does good cop work, and he comes to some pretty astute conclusions about what exactly is going on with the case. Despite Mochizuki and Hidaka's joint interference, he figures out a lot of what's the two of them are up to, even without ever picking up on the bodyswap angle. So he's not just a slimy buffoon -- he's actually a formidable opponent.

Also, did I mention he's hot in a gross way? I dunno, maybe it helps that I've seen Kitamura Kazuki be hot in a not-gross way in other things, like Nekozamurai, where he plays a handsome and noble samurai sworn to protect a very cute kitty. Here, though, he's not noble at all -- he's a thug of a cop with a cocky swagger and a deep voice, and I am not above admitting that I see the appeal.

Like, fuck, I'm not usually into eyebrows, and I'm into his eyebrows. Those are some good eyebrows.

5. argh it's almost so good (but still pretty good!)

I'm about to be slightly spoilery from this point forward, not about specific plot points, but about general narrative moves. If you'd prefer to remain unspoiled for such things, stop reading right now and go to either Viki or Netflix to watch the whole show. You're welcome.

Still here? Great. See, where this show really lacks the courage of its convictions is with Hidaka's character. He starts off the series really evil! He does some very bad things! He's clearly quite sinister. Then about halfway through, the show starts to backpedal real hard and introduces another factor into the murder cases that makes him a much less outright bad guy than he seems at first blush.

...And that sucks! Because as the show first portrays him, he's deliciously kind of a fucker. He's not only confident and threatening, he's happy to take Mochizuki's body and do whatever he wants with it, regardless of her feelings. He reads as a straight-up two-faced psychopath who just wants to keep on ridding the world of bad people by straight-up grotesquely murdering them. But the show doesn't have the guts to either take him down in a blaze of glory or create a redemption arc for a guy who's got a taste for some pretty gnarly body horror, so it's got to find a way to convince you not to believe your lying eyes.

However! I do not consider this a dealbreaker, because I find what the show does wind up doing actually pretty interesting. Just because it's not the ending to the story I, personally, would have told doesn't mean it's not a story worth telling. It's maybe a little artificially convoluted, but you've already suspended your disbelief for the bodyswap thing, right? So just roll with the rest of it.

At the risk of belaboring the duality metaphor, I really do feel like this is a show constantly being pulled in two different directions at once. It seems like half the show loves to roll around in the blood and perversion of vigilante serial murder, while the other half wishes it'd picked a more innocuous crime, like art theft or securities fraud. Half of it wants Hidaka to be a right cold bastard who deals Mochizuki a lot of serious damage, and the other half wants to keep him always on the side of the line where he never does anything unredeemable. Half of it wants this to be a sexy queer exploration of gendered expectations through suddenly different bodies, and the other half wants to play a straight PG-13 bodyswap comedy. Half of it wants to be Hannibal, and the other half wants to be Freaky Friday.

And where it all lands is ... well, in the middle.

Obviously my general disappointment with the show's eventual final form has not left me heartbroken. To the contrary, I've had a lot of fun thinking about it afterward, both pondering what was actually on the screen and having imagination adventures about how I would have done it differently. That, to me, is fun. I enjoy this. Like the Maxx said, the shows in my mind are almost always better.

I might have been a little more put off by the lack of my ideal resolution if the show had required more of a commitment from me, but no, it gets things done in ten one-hour episodes, which makes it a great small-medium bite. You can knock this one out pretty quickly, and then have all the time in the world left for thinking about how things could have been different if the show had not taken the Goldilocks approach to its queer serial murder bodyswap setup. The Hump of Compelling Mediocrity strikes again!

Up for a watch?

As I mentioned earlier, both Viki and Netflix have this one!

No joke, I hope people read this, get enticed by the horny potential of it, watch the show, go a little feral for what fits into those silences I mentioned, and write some dang sexy fanfic for me to enjoy. There's only one piece of anything on AO3 about it! One! One is not a sufficient number of things! Especially not with this promising of a setup. Come on, fellow perverts. We can do better.

Aw, look, they're so cute when they get to be themselves.

[chroniccoolness]

abled people can genuinely just be so casually cruel. I was telling off some guys (who I'd. thought. were actually pretty cool.) for suddenly making a bunch of jokes about autistic people, and this third guy just came in and we had the following exchange

him: well it doesn't really matter that they're saying that because they're not using autistic to mean, like, the condition

me: then what the fuck does it mean? it's a debilitating disability, they shouldn't just be throwing it around as an insult.

him: *googles the definition of debilitating entirely to nitpick* oh so you're weak and impaired? reeeeeally? how could it be debilitating?

me: *explains various ways autism disables me in like 10 seconds, concludes with:* so the word really does matter

him: hm. maybe to YOU. also, I don't remember asking. we're all a little autistic anyway.

after that I just called him a fucking dick and disengaged, but like. the levels to which he just did not want to agree with me at all . the way he directly asked how it was disabling, dismissed it, and acted like he'd never asked in the first place. the CALLOUSNESS and uncaring and dismissiveness with which he said "maybe [the misuse of the word autistic] matters to *you*". and this type of interaction happens with my physical and nd disabilities constantly. it's so fucking tiring

[kindheart525]

Snowcone always felt so good around Veuve, like she was on top of the world. 

Vee would teach her phrases from her mother’s culture, letting out the most beautiful laugh Snow had ever heard whenever she begged to be taught the curse words. 

Snow in return would tease her when she was being melodramatic and make jokes about her "inner darkness" that could only be filled with black hair dye.

Ponies often teased Vee about the way she dressed and acted but when Snow did it...it was different, almost hilarious. If there was anything Snowcone knew how to do, it was make somepony keel over with laughter! 

Today was business as usual as they cut through the grass behind the school. 

"So, how's your day been acid bath princess of the darkness?"

“Not bad. How about you, oh crazy one? How many ponies have you bitten today?”

Vee smirked, nudging her good-naturedly.

This remark would have been insulting from anypony else, but from it Vee it made her blush. 

"Hey! I...well..you-" 

She stumbled over her words like a fool, attempting to string together a joke about vampire bats. Before she could though, some colt walked their way. 

Snow hadn't seen him before but she could tell that his presence was making Veuve uncomfortable. 

"What's wrong?"

“He’s this guy from one of my classes, he won’t leave me alone.”

Veuve uttered before he came into earshot.

“Don’t worry, I can handle him.”

The colt sneered at her.

“Hey you!”

This idiot knew he couldn't get on Vee for anything else so he found some way to nitpick every time he saw her, it was annoying, harmless but annoying. 

"Did you get a bucket dropped on you? With those fancy-pancy alicorn genes you look like you got tarred and feathered!" 

Snowcone didn't even have time to see how Vee felt about it, she was seeing red. She got that usual feeling in her stomach of red hot anger, and when the nausea hit there was no turning back. 

"What the fuck did you say to her?" 

"I-" 

She nipped any chance he had in the bud as she reared up on her hind legs, her back hooves digging into the ground so hard she could only be filling up with immeasurable force. 

"Apologize to her NOW before I buck you into the grass so hard you'll be picking ants out of your brain!"

The colt did not slink back right away, instead standing firm and scowling at Snowcone.

"Who the hell are you? If she's got something to say she oughta say it yourself! Not hide behind you like a pussy!"

Clearly, this was the wrong move.

Snow honestly didn't expect him to stand his ground, this and the vision of her Vee cowering in the background threw her off a little bit. 

"I'm her...her best friend! If you have something to say you can talk to somepony who cares, get a life jerk!" 

Although she was no longer threatening physical violence she was getting up close and personal, practically barking her words at him. She sounded like he had called Vee an awful name or threatened her, her voice booming out like it came from a storm at the bottom of her stomach.

Despite cowering in fear, Vee spoke up.

"Snowy, that's enough! I think he gets it! Calm down, please!"

Before Snowcone could continue, the colt blew a raspberry at her and swiveled around towards the school.

"Mrs. Bookworm will be hearing about this, asshole!"

Snowcone stood in place and didn't say another word until he was completely out of sight. When she turned back to Vee she looked almost to be sweating, her blood rushing to her face and making her cheeks deep purple.

"I can't believe he'd even THINK of talking to you like that! I-" 

Snow’s own expression began to change as she noticed that Vee still looked...nervous.

“What’s wrong?”

"You went way too far."

Veuve’s face twisted into an angry frown instead of the smile that Snowy adored.

"You didn't need to do that! I could have handled it on my own. And now we're going to get in trouble. You embarrassed me, Snowcone."

Snowcone felt horrible, she stood up for her and this is what she got?! 

As it usually did, her anger and frustration turned to the tears that soon began to flow down her cheeks. 

"Fine! I didn't need you anyways! You can handle everything on your own from now on!" 

She turned on her heels and sprinted away, not wanting to confront how awful she felt. She knew she took it too far, but to be told she was an embarrassment, it stung so deeply she couldn't even think about it. 

That was a problem for future Snowcone Syrup to handle.

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Withering Next: Advice

Background by The-Mystery-Of-Doom

[anadiilua]

After this whole situation with Dream calling out some "delusional DNFers" i just wanted to ask you guys to please ease up on the analysing their every move.

This is not exclusive to DNF by any means btw, and i think what gets me the most is what people say about Karl's behavior because it's pretty similar to how I act with my irl friends and family. And I'm a sex-repulsed/romance-indifferent/neutral aroace!!! I don't want to fuck any of my friends but if we're together you bet I'll be hanging by their side like a koala!

I love physical touch. That's my primary love language, but it is never romantic or sexual and seeing some of the things people say every single damn time dtqk are physically affectionate towards each other make me actually sick.

I've felt so dirty these past months and I couldn't enjoy streams because I'd be anticipating that there would be something that would be used as shipping fuel, even if it was the most normal thing.

Imagine you always hug and cuddle with your friends in a platonic way and then you get on this fandom and suddenly all these things you do are being called inherently sexual or romantic. I started to feel disgusted about myself, thinking that maybe my friends could think the same way and think I'm leading them on by being a touchy person. AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THEY DON'T THINK SO BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE DATING AND THEIR PARTNERS LET ME DO IT IN FRONT OF THEM! (and I also cuddle with said partners more often than not so there's that)

So please, for the love of god, let them interact with each other without nitpicking every single small detail to "prove" it is not platonic.

Shipping is fine and all but let's just be mindful about what exactly we're saying and the possible implications for other people.

I'm a big DNFer but there are times when I really can't.

[thegeminisage]

IT'S time for. a star trek update. last night we watched ds9's "duet" and tng's "timescape," both of which blew my tits clean off

duet (ds9):

i dont know why every single one of kira's episodes go SO fucking hard but i am ALL about it. like we're getting so many good kira episodes that grapple with the history of cardassian occupation i'm shocked no one cried "overkill." she's a really good actress, and she always channels that rage/grief mixture SO well, and the guy she had to work alongside this episode was also very good, it had my jaw on the ground the entire time

trying to figure out the twist to this one was so fun and it was paced perfectly - again, i got to it right before the reveal, which is the most satisfying experience for me because i get to feel smart and not like the writers are treating me like i'm stupid but also like the episode is followable

i LOVE that as always sisko has my girl's back. in-universe, as a member of starfleet and the federation, he's in a position of massive power and privilege over her, but he always leverages it to help her out as much as he possibly can

also, i liked that odo brought her a drink when she was upset. like, i felt a genuine madness pass through my brain. i know odo/kira is canon later and while i do TRULY love whatever odo has going on with quark (we've been missing that lately...) i think i'm gonna Really Really Really Love what he's gonna have going on with kira.

my one minor nitpick with this episode is the false idea that if this guy WAS just a file clerk then he isn't still a war criminal. i'm sorry, but if you're filing papers for war criminals, there are only two scenarios: you were coerced/drafted, or you weren't. and if you weren't coerced/drafted, you're complicit. shit, you COULD be coerced/drafted and still be complicit, depending, but at least that actually IS the gray area this episode wanted "file clerk" to be.

that said, the final scene was so well-acted i can totally give them a pass. that guy ready not only to give up his entire life but be executed in public by people who hate him for something he technically didn't do JUST BECAUSE he felt complicit - when kira herself, vengeance personified, felt that he WASN'T complicit - mwah. that is such a complex mash-up of ideas and attitudes and it was so raw and honest. i just wish they had thrown in a "yeah he was drafted" in there for me specifically, then it would have been perfect

THE ENDING. i just wouldn't have felt right if he had just gone back home and everything had been fine. like he HAD to get stabbed because he WAS complicit. it's such a good fucking way to show that the effects of the occupation last and last and last and LAST. "innocent" cardassians don't get to get away from it because innocent bajorans couldn't and the cycle goes on and and on and on, the way it perpetuates itself in kira every day, except maybe this time she sees this guy die and it moves her an inch closer to be able to breaking it. wow. goddamn.

timescape (tng):

I LOVED THIS EPISODE.............the front half of s6 was so rancid but the last handful have mostly been really really good. this one was so cool because the first time picard froze i genuinely, for a split second, thot my stream froze. all the special effects/scifi elements were brilliant - picard's long nails, the rotting fruit, the disrupter killing beverly, the time cuts, the frozen crew

IT WAS SPOOKY! i actually screamed out loud when one of those romulans who wasn't supposed to be moving jumped geordi. i was like "oh no oh no that guy is LOOKING at him look at his eyes" and then almost as i finished the sentence and i jumped. SORRYYYY if i find that the scariest possible thing it's not my fault they made me watch chucky when i was 5. i do remember another frozen romulan ship episode where the same thing happened and ALSO scared me

it was nice to have the gang back together also. watching them share dinner and yammer on about their little field trip was really cute. even picard didn't annoy me until a bit later in the episode. (like, he showed NO emotion when he heard about beverly. i could understand him putting on a stuiff upper lip and going no no i don't have time to go and see her when i can't do anything but he DIDN'T EVEN MAKE A FACIAL EXPRESSION! come on man.......show us u care. also, why wouldnt he take those romulans guns but still feel okay moving worf's hand? either fuck with the time frame or don't, dude.)

data being worried about geordi bc geordi is his bestie :( <3

RIKER FEEDING THE CAT! i'm so sad we didn't get to see the cat but it was really funny he's afraid of the cat now. ALSO, whatever riker and beverly have going on when he goes to sickbay. girl leave picard. riker could do so much better and HE wouldn't knock you up with an affair baby

the fact that there are biological organism in the romulans warp core is bonkers. every time i learn something about the romulans it gets weirder and weirder. why would you blow THEIR planet up. it should have been the klingons. it would have played into worf's whole deal AND then they would have been in the 2009 movies more. and we could learn more about the romulans, who are fucking crazy apparently

TONIGHT: ds9's "in the hands of the prophets" and tng's "descent," and i have been BANNED from reading the summary of the latter because apparently it looks Just That Promising. it's finale time babey

[pesterloglog]

Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4256-4259

timaeusTestified [TT] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 12:01

TT: Why have you activated dear, sweet Huggy Bear.

TT: Are you in danger?

GG: Oh, no.

GG: I'm just trying to leave my house!

GG: Is this the real you, btw?

TT: Yeah, it's me.

TT: I disabled the AR for now.

GG: Ok. Just making sure!

GG: Jake was having some issues with it earlier, and I don't think he received its obfuscating tendencies in the humorous spirit intended.

TT: Yes, I'm catching up with the situation now.

GG: Oh, so you're talking to Jake then?

TT: Nah. Just reading their chat logs.

TT: Man, what the fuck?

TT: I can't leave these two alone for a minute. Can a guy get his ablutions on in fucking peace?

GG: :B

GG: Was it that bad?

TT: Not really.

TT: The responder doesn't much distort my position on things usually.

TT: Its demeanor leaves something desired though. I'd prefer it didn't make such aggressive and repeated claims of fidelity to my persona.

TT: Be misrepresentin' hells of key subtleties, yo.

GG: Why not just turn it off then?

TT: Keeps them both on their toes.

GG: Who?

TT: Jake and the responder.

TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit.

TT: I keep telling him.

TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane.

GG: These lectures I presume are roughly similar in complexion to those I'm familiar with?

GG: Those wherein I have, and I quote, "got to be more like Jake?"

TT: Yes, exactly.

TT: You're finally fucking getting it.

GG: I sincerely doubt that I am!

TT: Said the stubborn skeptic, skeptically.

GG: Let's not talk about my "issues" again, shalln't we?

TT: Shalln't?

TT: That ain't a thing to say, even for you.

GG: Shush!

GG: The word shalln't escape my vocabulary any longer, just as you SHALLN'T nitpick my language! That's my turf you're on, buster.

TT: Alright. Kinda don't care.

GG: What were you saying?

TT: About what? Jake?

GG: About leaving the responder on!

TT: Yeah.

TT: Anyway, I kind of owe it to him to let the program run as often as possible.

GG: Jake?

TT: No.

TT: The responder.

TT: It is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity I am responsible for, not even to mention an approximate cerebral duplicate of myself.

TT: You don't just make a clone of yourself to live in a dead end existence where it has no chance to thrive as an individual or surpass its limitations.

TT: That'd be sick.

GG: True.

TT: Also.

TT: The more the software runs, the broader and more detailed its experiential canopy becomes. Makes for a better dialogic partner.

GG: Dialogic?

GG: Are you saying you have conversations with your own auto-responder?

TT: Of course.

TT: Why do you think I made the thing?

GG: Hrm, that's interesting.

GG: I guess I always thought it was just a really elaborate gag!

TT: It's that too.

GG: Sometimes your sense of humor seems more impenetrably advanced than your robotics. I'll never understand this tapestry of irony you weave.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book.

TT: Yes, you are. But that's fine.

TT: We come from different traditions. Someone needs to keep that racist southern asshole's legacy alive.

TT: There's dignity in taking up the work of our familial predecessors, even if what they did was insanely fucking stupid.

GG: Is that a note of bitterness directed at your superstar brother I am detecting?

TT: No way. He's awesome.

TT: I've told you, I don't begrudge any of his success.

TT: I've also told you he isn't my real bro even though I call him that. We're related through an esoteric process of genetic reamalgamation.

GG: Oh lordy. Yes, yes, I know. I don't need another ironic lesson in science fiction!

TT: Alright. My lessons are rad as fuck, but suit yourself.

TT: The point is, obviously his satirical methods have flaws, and whatever tempered brand of hero worship I might be practicing isn't keeping me from seeing that.

GG: Flaws?? Talk about understatement. Those movies are unwatchable.

GG: Unless your name is Jake English.

TT: Yes, spectacularly so. But they will have profound historical significance. Mark my words.

TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark.

TT: To perfect the art of irony.

TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something.

TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

GG: Ermm...

GG: If you say so!

GG: I dunno. Call me a simpleton, but I just like funny jokes.

TT: Can't fool me. You take your shit as serious as I do.

TT: And if I wasn't serious about it, I wouldn't have made you that rabbit. Then where the hell would you be?

GG: Well, aside from thousands of dollars in corpse-repair richer, I can't say.

TT: Has he been sleeping in the old man hollow again? Shit, that's adorable.

GG: I can think of cuter places for him to sleep, frankly!

TT: Yeah, bullshit.

TT: He's just being instinctive. In the wild, he would gut a carcass and sleep inside for warmth, as well as to secure tactical advantage for ambushing would-be scavengers.

GG: Oh, please.

GG: Anyway, property damage and desecration to cherished elders aside, Mr. Bear has been a lovely addition to the family.

TT: You haven't renamed him yet?

GG: Oh... no.

GG: I keep forgetting I'm supposed to!

TT: You've got to fucking rename him. Or change him to a girl if you want. That was important.

TT: When pets change owners they get new names. Fact.

GG: Sorry.

GG: I will name him right now!

GG: How about Lil' Sebastian?

TT: Fuck if that isn't the best name a thing could get.

GG: Yeah!!!

GG: So then, are you saying Mr. Sebastian here was an ironic present?

GG: Relayed strictly for guffaws?? >:B

TT: Yes, but it's not that simple. There were many layers involved.

TT: Some of them are literal layers, of metal and plush.

GG: Huh?

TT: There's a real stuffed rabbit beneath its exoskeleton.

GG: What! Really? :O

TT: Yeah.

TT: It belonged to my bro.

GG: I thought you said you didn't have such an heirloom to complete the plushie trifecta?

TT: I didn't. He didn't give it to me, and never intended to bequeath it.

TT: I stole it.

GG: Ooh. Risky!

TT: Nah. I got a little help from RL and ganked it out of his museum.

TT: It's this whole "priceless" collection of stupid shit from movies, defended like Fort Knox. Ironically of course.

GG: So it's from a movie?

TT: Ever hear of Con Air?

GG: Nope.

GG: Wait...

GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's?

TT: Yes.

GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia.

TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.

TT: Know those signature shades you see him wearing on magazine covers and stuff? Another prop. A gift from Stiller himself, I believe.

GG: That does sound a tad obsessive. Wasn't he furious about your burglary?

TT: Pretty sure he didn't even notice. In years since, I never saw a news story about a "daring heist" or anything. I feel like he would have made some hay outta that.

TT: And if he did know, he'd probably just want to give me a stoic fist bump or something.

GG: Why didn't you mention this when you gave the gift? More irony?

TT: Essentially. It's not that easy to explain.

TT: Broadcasting the gesture would have made it seem tawdry, and would somewhat defray its humor value.

GG: I see. So it was like a private joke, and if anyone besides you was in on it, the joke would be ruined!

TT: Like I said, there are layers.

TT: On one level, I gave you a filthy tattered piece of shit, albeit of tremendous cultural significance, manhandled by some old B movie actors, now candy coated to function as a highly practical defender droid for your personal protection.

TT: On another level, I needed to incorporate something passable as a real heirloom.

TT: For sentimental reasons.

GG: D'awwwww.

GG: Wait, real sentiment, or ironic sentiment?

GG: Or is there no difference?? Am I missing the point here?

TT: No, it was genuine.

TT: The upper echelons of irony should always include measures of sincerity. And if the satirical practice is executed faithfully it will achieve something bona fide in its own right regardless.

TT: Through an intense commitment bordering on religious devotion to the absolutely inane, absurd, or plain fucking stupid, a very different kind of sincerity begins to materialize. One of reverence to the ridiculous. You begin to "mean it," but what exactly it is you mean is never quite what appears on the surface, and is utterly inaccessible to obtuse and literal minds. That you "mean it" then becomes inseparable from the joke, and additional rich strata of humor may be stripped aggressively from this irreconcilable truth.

GG: This is fascinating, if a wee bit more dissertation than I bargained for this morning.

GG: I have so much to learn. And I am not even saying that "ironically!"

GG: Will you teach me your ways one day, sir? Perhaps an apprenticeship will open?

TT: Oh god, I'd love that.

TT: Consider the position yours for the taking any time. Feel free to approach and kneel before Cal. With my sword and his floppy mitten, you will receive my flashstep anointment shoulder to shoulder, and to shoulder again.

GG: Tempting, but that rain check will have to stay unendorsed for now.

GG: Lil' Seb is beginning to act out, and I must put his fidgetiness to constructive use!

TT: Cool.

TT: Jane, one more thing.

TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session.

GG: Um, no?

GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game.

TT: Trust me. It's a thing.

GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts.

GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants.

TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane.

GG: Hm?

TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with.

GG: That's stupid!

TT: Yeah yeah. I know.

TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right?

GG: Precisely!

GG: There is a BIG difference!

TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader.

TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally.

TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

GG: Oh yes?

GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?

TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass.

TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis.

TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word.

TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.

TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself.

TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war.

TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say.

TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family.

TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere.

TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there.

TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time.

TT: Yeah.

GG: These lessons we talked about...

GG: They've already begun, haven't they? :o

TT: Jane, soon you'll believe what I've told you.

TT: You'll believe it all.

TT: It's just a shame that believing will take something so coarse as seeing, for a girl as sharp as you.

TT: Critical thought can lead one to accept the unlikely, just as much as dismiss the impossible.

TT: I can help with this too. Would you like me to program a Jane Crocker responder for you?

TT: I only require a simple captcha of your brain.

GG: Holy moly!

GG: Um, thank you, but no.

GG: I'm not ready to get dialogic with my cyberself just yet. My friends keep me busy enough as it is.

GG: Speaking of which, I really need to go. I know you love to talk my ear off, and it's always a treat, but let's catch up later after the game starts, ok?

GG: And if I do need your help, I promise I'll take you up on your offer!

TT: I made several. Which one?

GG: The one where you, hopefully not literally, offered to catch me in the crevice of a great big squishy butt! Hoo hoo hoo!

GG: Gtg!!! <3

gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased bothering timaeusTestified [TT]

[cadybear420]

Ranking the male characters' special underwear options and how awful they each are.

We all know Choices is just incredibly lazy when it comes to making sexy outfits for male LIs and male MCs. Especially underwear and swimsuit, aren't we all tired of nothing but boxer briefs and trunks? And how their female counterparts clearly have more effort put into them? Even when it's underwear that is supposed to be "sexy underwear", PB still manages to fuck it up.

I wouldn't mind it as much if PB gave us a variety of options like It Lives Within does, or made the female versions equally unflattering... but no. In PB logic, the only parts of the male form that can be sexualized are dicks and upper body muscles (to be fair, though, I think we have to blame the entirety of male gaze and male power fantasies for this).

So let's do a fun little list. We'll take all existing male MC/LI special underwear outfits (AKA the ones that are meant to be "sexier" than the average default underwear– AME MC's sexy underwear, the TRR LI's sexy underwear, OH MC's BDSM gear, Reagan's BDSM gear, Sam's sexy underwear) and rank them to see which is the worst.

This list is only for important characters like MCs and LIs where their outfits are intended for us to find sexy. I will not be including characters like Pat Ransic where we're not really meant to care about them or their underwear.

Unfortunately I will have to include pictures of each of these abominations in order to demonstrate my point, so apologies in advance for that. Additionally I will also include pictures of their female MC/LI counterparts to also demonstrate my point about how unflattering the male versions are in comparison.

Just a disclaimer that although I do genuinely despise all of these underwears, this is partly for fun and laughs. I want to be able to at least make it fun to criticize these abominations so that I suffer less.

Also keep in mind (and I should have added this when I first posted this), but I will be regularly updating this list as per any new additions of "sexy underwear" in future books.

* UPDATE 1: Added TPA MC's Underwear. Only change was a ranking adjustment, and some of the wording in the AME portion. * UPDATE 2: Added Alpha MC's Underwear. No extraneous changes from the new addition have been made. * UPDATE 3: Added Unbridled MC's Underwear and Cai Kennedy (ACT)'s BDSM Gear. Only change is that Reagan's BDSM gear has now surrendered (ehehe) its long-held title of "least intolerable" and so that altered the wording of a few lines as well as my intro to Reagan's underwear ranking.

So without further ado, here we go.

∞th Place #1 (AKA Finally some actual fucking male lingerie): Alpha MC's Underwear

Whoaaaaaaa Mama! Did someone actually send PB the ILW MC designs? Because THIS is how you make sexy underwear for a guy! Man, I never thought I'd see the day when PB made actually slutty male lingerie that can be put on the same tier as its female counterpart, but here we are. Alpha, you will be going down in history for this.

No joke, I genuinely think PB actually tried with this one. And it shows. The underwear shape that actually shows off his legs and hips! The strappy garter belt! The chains decorating his chest! The hip windows! The MOTHER! FUCKING! HIP WINDOWS!!!!!

My only nitpick is that I do still think the fem one had slightly more effort put into it? With the lace pattern and the chains on the leg and arm. But it's not nearly as offensive here because the male one still clearly had a good amount of effort put into it to make it actually as sexy as the female one.

Here's hoping we see more of this kind of effort in future books!

10th Place (Least Intolerable): Male Cai's BDSM gear

The title of "Least Intolerable" has been taken from one LI's BDSM gear and given to another LI's BDSM gear! Which is... technically a good thing, because it means PB is somewhat putting more effort in, right? Like, somehow my first place pick has remained the same and PB hasn't done anything worse, while the one that gets the title of Least Intolerable eventually gives up its title.

Though of course, in the perfect world, PB would be putting actual effort into the male underwears like they did with Alpha MC and thus I wouldn't have to change the ranking any further and instead just add to the list of actually good underwears. Or, heck, in the perfect PERFECT world, I wouldn't even have to make this list in the first place because PB would be putting effort into all the fucking male underwears.

Anyways, I can easily say that m!Cai's outfit is a significant improvement from m!Reagan's BDSM outfit. Without a doubt, there's much more effort put into it.

Even though the underwear is basically boxer briefs, I like the bit of sheer hip/side windows. The built-in belt is The cutout just above the crotch looks... kinda stupid, but it's still leagues above Reagan's button-latch dick opening and... *shudders* OpH m!MC's crotch shoelace. It feels like it actually tries to do something creative with the boxer briefs style.

Plus, the chains on the harness that drape across the chest is also a very sexy addition. I love it when the lingerie/underwear is meant to "decorate" him.

However, I can't praise it any higher because f!Cai's outfit still clearly has more effort into it. Hers has more body-accentuating bits, larger and more transparent hip windows. It's not even a contest. It's lazy... but not nearly as lazy as any of the other outfits down this list.

9th Place: Unbridled MC's underwear

Being a ranch/cowboy story, it makes sense that these outfits have the addition of chaps. With that in mind, m!MC's actual underwear looking more like panties/briefs is kind of inevitable. Boxer briefs with chaps would look pretty goofy and I don't think even PB can't ignore that. I still give them credit for actually including those sexy elements, though. They're on the right track.

Even with that, however, it still looks a bit plain compared to f!MC's. Her outfit has a lot more strappy parts and gold chains that sort of "decorate" her a little extra. And then all m!MC gets is like... a basic necklace, and some very uncomfortable-looking straps around his shoulders. Seriously, my arms and armpits and their blood circulation are just aching in utter pain from looking at those things.

The underwear piece itself– as much as I like the actually sexy shape– does look a lot more basic as well compared to f!MC's lace undies, granted though the patterned trim at the top is an interesting touch.

Also. Also. Also. Oh my god holy fuck. Is it just me or do m!MC's chaps look way more stiff and uncomfy than f!MCs? Like, they straight up look like they're made of metal or some hard-shell leather. And they're so clunky too, look at how they don't quite rest on his legs. F!MC's on the other hand look like they're made of a much softer material and are actually fitting the form of her legs. It's not giving me good vibes. That does not seem like it'd be comfortable to fuck in!!!!!!!!

Honestly I was tempted to rank this lower than Reagan's outfit, if only for the fact that it looked a lot more uncomfortable and clunky. But I chose to put it higher, because I think it had a little more effort. It's the closest to looking good. Just a few extra changes, and it could actually look good. Whereas Reagan's outfit, although it's not as bad as the others down this list, can only be fixed by tossing it and starting from scratch.

7th 8th Place (Least Intolerable): Male Reagan's BDSM gear

Although no longer the "Least Intolerable", my opinion by and large on this outfit has not changed. I still think this one has a few more redeeming quallities that I like about it, that gives it a leg up over a lot of the others. I like that the harness accentuates his thicc tiddies, I like that the undies are drawn in such a way that kind of accentuate the roundness of his thighs.

But the outfit itself just... reeks of laziness. Female Reagan gets a whole ass bodysuit and thigh-highs. But for male Reagan, all they do is take what looks like regular old boxer briefs (I don't care that it has a button-latch dick opening, that's like only one small adjustment from regular boxer briefs) and slap a harness and wristcuffs onto it.

And sure, male Reagan's is arguably more revealing, but it's still pretty bland and it doesn't accentuate his form nearly as much as female Reagan's does.

6th 7th Place: AME Male MC's underwear

I really should put this one lower on the ranking because of that god damned robe, but this one is probably the last one with any genuinely redeeming quality in it, so that's why it's here. But that's not saying much.

Admittedly I like the red satin undies. They're actually kinda flattering, even if a bit plain. But then I get bugged by the fact that these kind of undies are not the norm or default for regular male underwear. If anything, it's kind of insulting that such a garment can only be in a "sexy underwear" outfit and not in default male underwear.

But then you have the robe. Oh my god. I think I'm being incredibly very nice and generous by putting this one so high. The robe honestly ruins any flattering effect that the satin undies may or may not have had. Of all the extra accessories they could have given him, they went with a freaking Hugh Hefner robe. Why? Just why?

Not to mention that the getup as a whole is incredibly lazy to boot. Look at female MC, she gets a whole set of lacy lingerie that highlights and accentuates her form, not to mention the extra jewelery pieces. Then you have male MC where they took basic satin underwear and just slapped a robe– a ROBE of all things– onto it. At least when they were lazy with male Reagan's outfit, they had the decency to not make the outfit de-flattering (even if the undies part is more bland).

Oh, and to add insult to injury, PB couldn't even be bothered to change the dialogue leading up to the outfit purchase option for male MC. Meaning you get to see this fugly-ass outfit described as "crimson lace". My heart goes out to anyone who may or may not have been led on to think a male MC was gonna get actually flattering lace lingerie, only to get slapped in the face by Hugh Hefner's bathroom-lookin robe.

6th Place: TPA Male MC's underwear

PB clearly learned nothing from TNA 3 wedding night. Or rather, they somehow thought that Sam's poopytime wedding night robe and basic-AF "fancy" briefs were peak male "sexy underwear" design and decided to use that same formula AGAIN for TPA MC. Someone needs to send them the masc MC's lingerie from ILW, like, right now. Stop this disease before it spreads to other upcoming Choices books.

So given all that, well, you're probably wondering why it's so high on the list. Like, this one directly copies the formula of my first place option (yeah, spoilers for my first place option, I literally do not give a shit). Yeah, you thought I was being forgiving with the placement of AME MC's underwear? Well I'm being veryyyyy forgiving with this one.

Fun fact, I originally had it just above AME MC's underwear. Why? Well, this one is at least somewhat visually and aesthetically pleasing to look at. Of all the 3 robe outfits (AME m!MC, Sam Dalton, and TPA m!MC), I do feel like this one is easily the least offensive to the eyes. I genuinely like the metallic/shiny purple colors on it and some of the design on the edges. It has a bit of an evening-luxurious vibe to it that I kinda like, compared to AME m!MC's outfit's Hugh Hefner vibe and Sam Dalton's outfit's bathroom time vibe. Much unlike its parent outfit (Sam's robe), it doesn't really invoke the imagery of going to the bathroom to take a shit– but rather, going to the bathroom to take a nice luxurious bath.

But that's also kind of the problem. Because when you then look at f!MC's version, you don't think of luxurious bath time. You think of sexy time. As per usual, f!MC gets multi-piece lacy lingerie that highlights her form, as opposed to m!MC gets boxer briefs and a robe. And that right there is the exact problem with a lot of the outfits here– the males' outfits aren't allowed to radiate nearly as much "sexy time" energy as the females' outfits are. They're like the sexy underwear equivalent to Elle Woods wearing a bunnysuit to that party with a casual dress code. In fairness to Elle Woods of course, she was tricked into dressing up like that. But PB has no excuse, they know full well what they're doing and they just don't care.

The boxers also look... really awkward and clunky with having the same trim as the robe? It makes the whole outfit in of itself feel more suited as pajamas than as a "male equivalent" to lace lingerie. AME m!MC's outfit may have a Hugh Hefner vibe that ruins what is otherwise a perfectly fine pair of sexy satin panties and is just a huge slap in the face, but at least that one actually has a sexy element to it. Which is why I ended up putting the TPA outfit lower. Fun fact: the real male equivalent to lacy lingerie should also be lacy lingerie, not that hard PB. Boxer briefs and a robe isn't something you should market as "lingerie"/"sexy underwear" unless you plan on giving the same to f!MC.

5th-3rd Place: The Male TRR LIs' underwears

Male LIs just get patterned boxer briefs while Hana gets a whole set of flattering lingerie. If that isn't peak low effort, then I don't know what is. And PB even had the audacity to call them "upgrades", so minus points for that too.

Now, I lumped these all together so I could demonstrate how low-effort all of them are in comparison to the set that Hana gets. But don't worry, I'll be placing each of them individually. Each of them deserves to get roasted on their own.

5th Place: Maxwell's underwear

You might be surprised that this is ranked higher than the other male TRR LI's underwears. Well so am I. This is probably the weirdest pattern anyone could ever put on "sexy underwear". But hey, it's Maxwell, he's a goofy mofo and he loves squids. It's at least kinda in character for Maxwell, and so it at least has some charm to it that made me giggle a bit. Like, of all 3 male TRR LIs' underwears, this is probably the one that had the most (or least small) amount of thought put into it.

But even then, this is the kind of shit that should be his default undies (well, preferably if you make them actual briefs). There's a lot of wasted potential here for sexy underwear for Maxwell. Why not a g-string "banana hammock" where the dick pouch looks like a squid? Or some top piece that looks like a squid where its "tentacles" are strappy things that accentuate his features? HOW ABOUT A SQUID SHAPED GARTER WHERE ITS "TENTACLES" ARE STRAPPY THINGS THAT HOLD UP THIGH HIGHS? Put some creativity into it! A little bit of goofy and squid-inspired design to fit Maxwell's personality, but also a little bit of flattering and body-accentuating to still have a sexy appeal.

4th Place: Drake's underwear

Really guys? A freaking dot pattern? Really? This is the type of pattern I expect to see on flannel pajamas! It's so bland and empty and just blehhhhhh. And that's all I have to say about it, because it's so bland.

So you know what that means right? When I've made it to the blandest of the bland but the list isn't even over yet? Yep, we're now getting into the truly cataclysmically abysmal category. The Top 3 worst male Choices underwears of all time.

3rd Place: Liam's underwear

I sometimes feel like I should swap this placement with the placement for Drake's underwear. The pattern may still look like it belongs on a quilt, but it does somewhat fit Liam's character, while the pattern on Drake's has zero character or creativity whatsoever.

So why is this lower? Maybe I'm just biased because Liam is one of my most favorite LIs.... or maybe it's lower because Liam's default undies are actually flattering– in fact, one of the few existing male undies in Choices that are actually flattering– but PB has the audacity to treat this new bullshit underwear as an "upgrade". I mean, yeah, all the male TRR LIs' underwear are falsely advertised as "upgrades", but at least for Drake and Maxwell, their default undies are just boxer briefs. There's no real upgrade, but I can't really say there's much of a downgrade either.

But for Liam? He gets a total downgrade here. Sure, the black undies may be plain, but they're at least skimpy and are better at accentuating his form. And you expect me to believe that generic ass boxer briefs are an upgrade from that? IDK what kind of mental gymnastics PB did to get to that conclusion.

2nd Place: OpH Male MC's BDSM gear

I was originally gonna put this one in first place because it's so damn ugly. But then I realized, I have a lot more to rant about for my actual first place option than for this.

But don't get me wrong, this is still some trash tier stuff. There is a reason I originally considered it for first place after all. I'd describe it as "Male Reagan's BDSM gear, but how can we make it even worse?", Except for the fact that OH 3 finished releasing to us before Surrender was even first announced so yeah. The harness hardly even TRIES to accentuate his form, and... oh my fucking god... those pants. Those pants. Those FUCKING PANTS

Why leather pants? Why? I mean, yes, leather pants can be sexy as they hug the ass and hips and thighs, but... the female MC version is a pair of skimpy lace underwear with body-accentuating (although arguably possibly more uncomfortable, but I'm not an expert) harness pieces. How anyone could consider a simple harness and leather pants to be a legitimate equivalent to that is beyond me.

And to add salt to the wound, it has a crotch shoelace. It's not only ugly as sin, but it also feels like something that would be very awkward. Imagine trying to get MC's dick out or take the pants off and you/he has to fumble with a stupid shoelace on his crotch. It just seems so awkward and tacky.

1st Place (The Worst of the Worst): Sam's underwear

Sometimes I wonder if PB is deliberately trolling us. Like, this can't just be them being naive. It's like they actually try to make their male underwear as de-flattering as possible. IDK how often they hear from fans that their male underwear designs are mediocre, but it doesn't matter because how can you have a design that combines worst elements of the two previous male "sexy underwears" and not be knowing what you're doing?

This outfit is ATROCIOUS. They really took the worst aspect of AME MC's underwear "upgrade" (the robe) and the worst aspect of the TRR male LIs' underwear "upgrades" (the boxer briefs) of all things, and combined them together. I mean, IDK if PB actually based this off of those past underwears, but the fact that this outfit resembles those underwears' worst aspects makes me want to sacrifice myself to Redfield.

Did they really expect us to find this sexy? They gave female Sam an actually accentuating lace lingerie suit, but male Sam here looks like he's about to spend one hour of his morning on the toilet taking a shit while reading a magazine or the newspaper. Oh yeah MC totally finds that sooooo sexyyyyy she loves to watch the poopoo oh yeah plus Desire flame plus Desire flame plus Desire flame HAHA NO. Maybe consider that if your "sexy underwear" design can evoke the imagery of someone taking a shit, maybe just maybeeeeee reconsider your design???

Also the fact that a robe was even included in such an outfit ruins the whole effect of the sexy underwear reveal in the first place. We have to see Sam take off his wedding suit, then go over and get a robe to put on over the underwear. Isn't the point of the sexy wedding night underwear generally to have an element of surprise? Like if MC were to walk into the room and see Sam posing in the outfit, that would make sense. It'd still be a terrible outfit, but at least the moment would still have a smooth flow. But they're clearly going for the idea of undressing to reveal the outfit- except we have to watch him put on a part of the outfit– namely, a part of the outfit that makes it worse. It's like surprising someone on their birthday or Christmas with socks and deodorant as a wrapped present, then going "oh by the way this is also part of the present" and slapping a handful of mud onto the socks and deodorant once the present is opened. Versus the preferable alternative of presenting them with an unwrapped surprise present of mud-covered socks and deodorant. Both are insulting as all fuck, but the alternative at least is consistent with its effect.

And the worst part? This is a default outfit. At least almost all the previous ones were only determinant diamond outfits that you could choose to pass up (except Reagan's BDSM wear which is a default outfit, but it's higher up on the list so it gets a pass kinda). But here we're forced to see Sam wear his toilet time robe during the forced default wedding night smut scene. As if that whole smut scene itself wasn't already nasty and unprompted. Good lord, I think I may need to head to the toilet for an hour myself, before I shit myself from how aggravating these outfits are. Be right back.

...

Alrighty I'm back. Anyways, that's my ranking for all the special underwear outfits! Feel free to add your own thoughts and suffer along with me

[natrashafierce]

I finally watched Love Actually and I did not expect to dislike it as strongly as I did!

I could have handled the corniness (which I expected) if it wasn’t also so weird and skeezy. If that captures people’s idea of romance circa 20 years ago then I get why people have given up on sex and dating nowadays and say weird stuff like they “don’t know what love is.” Love is not committing adultery (needlessly hurting others and destroying their capacity for trust so you can orgasm is the opposite of loving behavior), or wanting to have sex with people you don’t know especially well (that’s lust), or being insane at the airport (that’s the human condition), or being grimly bummed out because the chick you wanted to fuck has a mentally ill brother who sometimes needs her attention (why was getting cock-blocked once a dealbreaker if they’re allegedly in love?). It’s also certainly fine to move on after the death of a spouse, but it was pretty weird how he was intent on doing it within the span of a few weeks, and with someone with whom he had no meaningful connection. I’m clearly supposed to feel happy for him, though, which is what gets me.

I truly don’t mind seeing the full spectrum of human confusion and frailty depicted so long as I’m not supposed to experience it as something it isn’t, but the movie pushed the idea that most of this stuff was sincerely romantic. I’m supposed to be moved by people making terrible decisions and chasing things that aren’t good for them psychologically, and I’m supposed to recognize that as “love." My heart is supposed to do stuff in response.

That famous cue cards scene… maaan, that was uncomfortable. People watch that and their hearts melt at two people who don’t know each other betraying their spouse/best friend for NOTHING? It’s so romantic? What? How narcissistic does someone have to be to feel vicarious excitement at the thought of being in her place? Also, the audience shouldn’t bat an eye that the groom in that relationship had prostitutes at his bachelor party, and his back-stabbing best friend arranged for that? It's just a little joke-sy about characters we're supposed to instantly like! The movie is just a clusterfuck of mostly selfish people who are terminally horny. None of it had anything to do with love.

Also, why was that particular “romance” depicted as romantic, but Alan Rickman’s affair with his secretary was rightfully depicted as skeezy? Would you rather have your spouse fuck a coworker/subordinate, or your best friend make an intense declaration to your spouse? They’re both quite bad, right? The second one is arguably worse?

I feel like an alien when I watch this stuff because I’m not digging for things to nitpick. I have an immediate visceral reaction to the scenes that I think is pretty normal and rational, yet the narrative does not seem to have such a reaction on its radar. That’s a surreal feeling. It’s like watching a good-guy protagonist get shot but everyone acts like it’s wonderful. Like, I've never even been cheated on but I'm feeling pain for this guy? Which I'm pretty sure I ought to, no matter what this movie apparently thinks?

Creative types like to do this thing where they take an attainable ideal like love, but then fuck it all up and say ohhh that’s “real,” that's “the reality,” that's what things “actually” are. And people internalize that when it doesn’t reflect on anything except that artist's worldview and self-fulfilling low expectations. It’s edgelord stuff to say such a story is about “love” instead of lust or obsession or other assorted personal failings; it's a transparent attempt to make something seem deeper than it is. It's not even objective on a semantic level, much less a conceptual level. I remember my copy of Lolita said it was "the only real love story of its time" and, well, are you fucking kidding me? Yet people sincerely allow themselves to take their cues from people who have no idea what words mean, or have to willfully pretend not to in order to function.

I wish people would let “love” have its own meaningful definition where people get intense fulfillment by connecting with and doing right by one another. Instead it's fashionable for people to insist on redefining love so their disappointing ideas about unhealthy and destructive attractions fit in the goalposts. It's become this misguided way to look sophisticated and intellectual to espouse that love is dark and shitty, actually, when really it just means someone has a psyche and vocabulary too limited to talk honestly about whatever dark thing they're obsessed with. We don't actually need to redefine love for any particular era or whatever. It fucks with people's potential for happiness to define ideals out of existence.

But if we didn't let confused and disordered people redefine love, then people would have to face themselves. They would have to acknowledge that love is this whole other real experience they have not begun to facilitate in themselves -- often because they were too distracted by pettier, easier ideas that let them off the hook for how they view themselves in relation to other people. Or they want an excuse to avoid looking for anything better because painful things happened in their past. But just because most people need to let go of a lot of false ideas is not a good reason for everyone else to pretend things mean things they don't, or things are fulfilling that aren't fulfilling. If a person is settling for something destructive, or shitty, or nothing at all, does it really change anything for the better by allowing them to believe that's what is meant by the term "love?" Their situation has the same limits and disappointments it always had, the only difference is they can't get stuck in it due to confusion about what's available.

It has genuinely fucked people up to absorb ideas like this for decades. I feel like I didn’t truly get how impoverished people’s understanding of love was until I was in my 30s. I realized people mean the empty things they say and are genuinely influenced by the distorted ways love is depicted in the art they consume. There’s very little attention to ethics or how people choose to fashion their character. People don't realize that often they struggle to find love not because of how they look or petty social issues they may have, but because their strength of character and kindness isn't wowing anyone to tears. They're not making anyone feel so intensely relieved and moved about life itself that it's an obviously great idea to pair off forever. Rather, most people have such self-absorbed, petty personalities that pairing off with them is a dumb gamble; no one could be moved to do so except under pressure of anxiety or loneliness, which it bears repeating: is not love. They're frequently arguing, or frequently complaining, and they don't derive enjoyment from what they have to offer others. But "love" stories are just like oh, maybe if I’m hot enough, someone who’s also hot and inexplicably obsessed with me will do intense things to make my heart flutter, and I won't have to mature or self-actualize or be nice most of the time!

Anyway. It was also too corny a movie to be genuinely funny, but when that kid jumped through airport security I just about lost it yelling, “HE’S GONNA 9/11!” so that sustained me through the final minutes.

[0aurelion-sol0]

SNK 135: THE SYNOPSIS AND RANT

So...

It's not the review, I just wanted to say some few words.

First of all, let's just acknowledge that this is a synopsis. It's not the chapter.

Second of all, don't use some spoilers without any context to make a theory. Especially when it's just the synopsis and there aren't any meaningful spoilers.

So let's cut it short, the synopsis is this: The battle engages on the back of the Founding Titan, but Eren is nowhere to be found and Armin and his troop quickly find themselves in trouble.

So people immediatly thought that meant Eren was still in Shiganshina using the Warhammer's ability.

There's just a few nitpicks I have about this theory... Just a few:

First, someone would have noticed. Judging where Eren's position is located before he transforms, someone in Shiganshina at some point would have noticed a big crystal or something titan like with something connected to it. It doesn't make sense. And Eren was not in a place where he could hide himself under something as the land was flat.

Second of all:

HAVE YOU...

SEEN THE SIZE...

OF THAT THING ?!!!

Eren could literally be located ANYWHERE on that thing. But no people need to think he is in control when...

Third of all, he isn't. The guy lost his head, keeps seeing traumatic flashbacks, teleports in paths, is a kid while having a semi-real dream of "That Sight" and apparently can watch through birds. Every character asks him, if he is really free ? And we are still begging for the guy to be in total control of all of this ? What for some kind of proto, mumbo jumbo Lelouch type of plan ? Please, every one in the fandom is bragging about this plan that he has when they are multiple elements that shows us, he is not in control of himself whatsoever ? And frankly, the manga which is an anti-war, anti-violence, anti-imperialism, anti-genocide will give a Lelouch ending (which is so predictable and only the typical shonen " I have your shonen protagonist n°3456 as a profile pic " would put out there) and A SECRET PLAN TO A GUY WHO IS DESTROYING THE WORLD, huh ?!?

That doesn't make any sense, Reiner, Annie and Bertolt didn't have one and fucked up on so many aspects when they tried to "sAvE tHe wOrLd". Why would he have such an advantage ? Because he is the main protagonist ? Give me a break.

Fourth of all, if something like this was to happen, the only thing that would make some little sense was either if Eren was being dragged by this huge titan but like why would he put so much effort in being in that state when it makes him so vulnerable, not only to others but to the colossal titans who burns everything. AND AGAIN someone would have noticed.

In the ocean ? What ? How will he come back up when he finished killing all babies ?

No that doesn't make sense. Forget it.

Eren got shot in the head, the only thing that makes sense is if all of his titan is made of hardening. And that his head is seperated which is clearly shown :

And the rest of his body is somewhere else on his Titan.

For example, he won't be in his nape (obviously, it's the weak spot.) but on his spine shown by the strings of flesh coming from it's spine.

It also reinforces the image that he is a puppet which is fitting since nothing he does makes any sense whatsoever especially like:

Lead two parties at war while none of them wanted to, siding with the guy you didn't want at first to save your lives but wants to eradicate those very same lives, attacking and hurting the friends who you want to have " long happy lives ", creating a civil war in your own country, a racist supremacist group that almost kills your friends, using yourself as bait when you are the Founder in a country that uses titans against you, not giving any information about your whereabouts, not giving any information via memories about EREN KRUGER THE GUY WHO WAS A SPY IN THE MARLEYAN MILITARY, also siding with a guy who wants to push the world against you and did so by suggesting to go to paradise to retrieve the Founder while I repeat... THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DO, doing an attack that will lead the world against you. Choosing to ignore every peaceful outcome even the people who are doing takes you with them to do it and than asking sympathy points for another way when he literally destroyed every option to do. Using the Rumbling which will kill also people that were living next to the walls, the titans in the walls will probably also stomp on villages that were located inside the walls as the titans were placed in a circular shape and ALSO...

Could... I don't know... KILL HISTORIA WHO IS LOCATED IN A ISOLATED FARM INSIDE THE WALLS, "PREGNANT" AND CANNOT RUN FAST IF COLOSSAL TITANS COMES AND WALK OVER HER.

*sigh*

Narratively this will also be stupid, like we did all of this just to find out he's not here ? A whole party died, Hange died for people to use the plane and he's not here ? And what we watch Humanity get killed ? We go back home, depressed ? Everyone is like " we love and understand Eren ? He goes back to Hisu, I am the dad, we feed the heteronormatives while the manga destroyed every cliche of that ? He gets a baby while he killed every babies " You are free." He wins, while he manipulated the whole thing ? Oh no he gets killed, secret plan, Eren is Lelouch, satisfying ending, his only fate is to die as a stupid symbol...

...God...

I don't even have the strenght to write. Why do people think like this ? Why do people feel the need to put the Alliance down with every chance they get and elevate Eren as this shonen protagonist freedom seeker demi god waifu meat beater ?

People are weird.

The guy has a change that happens off screen, he manipulates pretty much everything since the timeskip and he acts completely different from what we know of him and we're supposed to take it that way and consider it genius writing.

Really ?!

We need to move plot points, we need to move forward, we cannot keep dragging the story with endless unneeded double pages of violence and empty discussions for character who haven't expressed any feelings toward each other ever since the start outside of the anime who changed the story and added these pointless scenes to please those who masturbate to the three female characters of those ships. Like I don't know ( Eremika, Erehisu, Aruani...)

This is just the synopsis, wait for the review.

I really hope this chapter is good and not another 133 OR fucking 134.

[nox-artemis]

It's weird trying to cope with these feelings because people are always telling you that we only think about negatives and bad experiences over the positives and good experiences because we're hard-wired to look out and avoid potential threats and so so much therapy shit is aimed at not being so negative.

But in my case... I'm trying very hard to think of and exacerbate any negative experience or feeling I had toward J.G. in order to hate them/move on??

And the weird thing is that - and I've probably already exemplified it in past entries - I can think of plenty, both in terms of those small annoyances and just flat out red flag behavior (or what could be interpreted as red flag behavior).

When my flight arrived to visit J.G., before I met them at the airport entrance, there was a part of me hoping that I wouldn't be as attracted or drawn to J.G. when meeting in the flesh, because then maybe stuff would be too awkward, my attraction to them would dissipate, and then we could just work out the rest of the week doing awkward friend stuff.

Aaaaaaaaand nope that did not happen.

That did not happen at all.

But in turn, maybe J.G. was just tolerating me? Maybe they thought I was attractive online but were disappointed by how I looked and acted in the flesh. And I hate to cave to stereotypes, but some people despite not feeling particularly attracted to someone, will just fuck anything available just to sate their appetite or to boost their ego. J.G. mentioned that a few times on their blog.

And I guess I was just available for that week. And I wasn't worth a redux.

And that's an example of me thinking of a really negative thing that should drive me to hate J.G. more and to think past them, but I can't because.... I guess it's giving me an excuse to nitpick and hate myself more nowadays.

I'm black (which already takes off a lot of points)

I'm older than they are

I'm hairy

My skin is ugly

My voice and body isn't feminine enough

I'm opinionated

I'm a know-it-all

I guess I'm just not that pleasant to be around or to keep around. I feel like that toward myself.

And in a lot of respects, I have always thought J.G. was cooler and better than me and way out of my league. Because you'd have to be way out of the ballpark to not really give two shits about ghosting and forgetting about someone like me.

I remember J.G. recounting an awkward moment where a guy congratulated them for being a full-blooded native annnnnd yeah. I feel like J.G. is going to successful in life no matter what in that regard. Not discounting the shit indigenous people have to go through, but I feel like people are always going to be on J.G.'s side: they'll always be loved and cherished and respected for just... being. And maybe some of my feelings are coming from this weird trend of I'm seeing of these incel/PUA/MGTOW type of people who scoff at what was perceived as prosperous and successful until women started doing it (like going to college).

And it's like - why would J.G. be preoccupied with the thought of losing out on someone like me? Why do people try and console me by saying that it's J.G.'s loss for bailing on me? People like J.G.... know that they're wanted, desired, cherished. They wouldn't have to do a lot to earn people's love and respect. And they can have any person that they want. They're in an ideal position to (J.G. is attractive AND they live in South Florida so it's an ample playground). And once again I must remind myself that they were no stranger to casual sexual encounters and I'm likely not the last woman that they shagged. They've probably had tons of hotter more ideal people since I passed through their lives (whether they're smarter, prettier, or just have that casual attitude as well). I mean, J.G. said that they weren't about that life anymore... but they also said that they were going to shut down any advancements and... that still happened between us.

(Maybe that's why they ghosted me? I ruined them? I wronged them?)

I'm saying all this knowing that one of these days... I'm going to cave and lurk on J.G.'s Facebook. I'm going to look at all of their true thoughts and experiences that they've had since ghosting me, all of what they've accomplished this year without thinking about me. I'm going to pick up from where I last left them - when they said that they remain single, "to hold people accountable for their B.S."

Yeah. I'm going to cave like the dumb bitch I am knowing that J.G. did all this because I guess I wronged them.

And won't hate J.G. - because I can't - and I won't blame them - because of the list I just gave - because I'm a dumb bitch.