#and this feels like the long term kind

[semiotomatics]

i do think im getting worse tho

[fisherrprince]

Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

I think if you ever said "you're mine" to touya he'd like. pass out.

[essektheylyss]

Okay but the confirmation that the Granddaughter is supposed to have reached a state of tranquility and detachment but hasn't, and is instead aggressively and desperately shoving down all of their emotions without being able to excise them has sent them to the top of my faves list immediately.

I'm also really looking forward to seeing if the Fold wizard on deck survives whatever just happened, because I would love to find out if all Granddaughters have actually excised their emotions, or if in reality, they're supposed to be practicing tranquility but don't actually have a grasp on that until later, after their Realization. I would not be surprised to learn, especially after Artifice's whisper last episode, that this is something of an initiatory secret that isn't meant to be fully understood until later, once Realization has been had.

[sermna]

Had a realization today

The reason why therapy wasn't working well for me in the last few years is because.... I've had all the therapy for anxiety/depression that I really need. I have a good handle on working through/with both of them and honestly there's not much more that talk therapy can do for me there (beyond discussing notable events)

But I always felt like I needed something more, like the problem wasn't being addressed, like somehow there was something going untreated

And uh yeah. My recent diagnosis cleared that up. It's the autism 😐

[gideonisms]

I just still do not know how to get around the fact that I go weird and distant and untalkative sometimes for no real reason. I can get around almost all of my other shit with some simple practical solutions but I really have not figured this one out at all

[flickeringflame216]

.

[thedevotionaltour]

sorry main blog complaint moment that actually isn't a big deal but sometimes there are some fandoms where im like why are we selfshipping/ocxcanon shipping from here where are we even getting yeah i gotta ship from here vibes. not that we can't you can do whatever you want and lord knows i probably have fandoms that make people cock their head but also why.

[bizlybebo]

theres something in me that wants to write the exact same au shifted slightly to the left 48269484 billion times

[selkiemaidenfae]

i’m a bit too hungover to fully articulate this the way i want to but

there’s something about camila dragging billy to that party where he’s immediately offered alcohol because she’s never truly seen his addiction for what it is vs daisy staying in his tour bus with him because she understands that they’re fighting the same struggle

there’s something about camila not really having any clue why billy needs daisy so much to the point where she has to ask if daisy’s a better lover than her vs daisy inherently understanding why billy had to choose his family despite never having a family of her own

there’s something about camila never intervening in the billy/eddie conflict in all those years vs daisy showing up and immediately telling billy that aurora needed to be eddie’s project too

there’s something about billy writing the same songs over and over with camila vs daisy forcing him out of his songwriting comfort zone leading to him writing the most personal and beautiful songs of his career

something something daisy allowed him to be the truest version of himself while camila let him hide behind the idealized version something something billy ultimately chose camila because he wanted to be the man that she saw instead of the complicated mess that daisy understood him to be

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm sorry, but why don't we talk about Witch Hunt more? Seriously, I think it might be my favorite DAO DLC. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hell out of Awakening. Leliana's Song is good. The Golems of Amgarrak is... eh, bad. I didn't really like that one. The Warden's Keep, The Stone Prisoner, and Return to Ostagar are all amazing and I love them.

But Witch Hunt??? Y'all. I can't. I'm too emotional right now.

I have at least one dynamic from each game that I'm obsessed with. For DAO, it's the dynamic between romanced!Alistair, Tabris, and Morrigan. I've talked before about the dark ritual and stuff in this post, so let's just say that my Tabris, Rose, very much has unfinished business and a score to settle with Morrigan.

Tabris and Morrigan grew so close throughout the entire journey of DAO, y'know? Close enough that Morrigan claimed she thought of her as a sister, and Tabris felt the same way... and then in one single moment, it's just shattered.

There were signs that Tabris ignored, like the way Morrigan dismissed all the circle mages and claimed they should be left to their fates since they "allow themselves to be caged like cattle." Or how she disapproved every time Tabris wanted to help those down on their luck. Or, worst of all, when Morrigan disapproved when Tabris chose to kill the Tevinter slaver instead of making a deal with him to use the lives of the remaining elves to grant her more power... one of those caged elves being Tabris' father.

But she gave Morrigan the benefit of the doubt; she's sheltered and only had Flemeth as an influence and teacher, of course she's unempathetic and selfish, but there is good in Morrigan's heart. She can learn to be more empathetic and to care for others.

At least, Tabris believed that until Morrigan confessed that she's known about the ultimate sacrifice and the dark ritual from the beginning, that Flemeth sent her with the wardens with a purpose that Morrigan intends to follow through with. It's devastating and it broke Tabris' heart.

She just learned that a warden has to die to stop the blight, and that warden could be her or Alistair. Not only are they romantically involved, but they've been through all of this shit together, they're the only ones who fully understand what being a grey warden is like. They carry the burden on their shoulders, and they're probably going to lose each other to the archdemon.

And Morrigan waits until she's at her most vulnerable to ask that of her.

Again, I've gone into more detail about that before, but at this point Rose is done with people deceiving her. She's done with Morrigan... except she's not. It's the betrayal and knowing Morrigan got what she wanted that causes Rose to go searching for her.

To Morrigan's credit, she does give some answers. She claims she didn't thing the archdemon would show itself so soon, and she did what she had to because she didn't wish to see Tabris hurt or die. I believe her, and to an extent, Tabris believes her... but Morrigan still doesn't get WHY it's a betrayal.

Morrigan's right: She will never understand Tabris, and Tabris will never understand her. She can insist it's not a betrayal all she wants, but it absolutely is, and Tabris has never allowed anyone who crossed her to just walk away... except for Morrigan.

Until now.

Hearing that Morrigan manipulated her way into the trust of this Dalish clan so she could steal their book and run is just further evidence in Tabris' eye that she hasn't changed. Maybe it was always foolish to believe she could.

So... she stabbed Morrigan.

She didn't do it to kill her; Morrigan is the daughter of Flemeth and a powerful mage with healing magic, a mere stab isn't going to kill her.

No, it's about what the stab represents: "I am done with you."

And how the scene plays out? It's so dramatic and good, just the way everything slows down, the music, how they make eye contact as the stabbing happens just....

I know it sounds really bad, and this is the part where I remind everyone that I ADORE Morrigan, but the stabbing ending is so satisfying from a story-telling standpoint for my playthrough.

It's so tragic and it hurts and I hate it.... but I love it, y'know?

I love Witch Hunt, like I haven't even talked about Ariane and Finn, or how the circle just has all these books on Dalish artifacts and translations of elvhen, or how other eluvians can be found with a shard from the broken one in the dalish origin.... like you're telling me that Merrill had a piece of the puzzle? If she had the knowledge, she could've found a working eluvian to study?? I'm going to gnaw my own leg off--

Listen, I could gush about this all day.

But now that I've completely finished DAO, it's time to replay DA2.

[suddencolds]

// personal

how strange it is to observe yourself changing

[tj-crochets]

Still no craft updates on account of I feel Bad* but I did get like half a beanie crocheted this weekend? I also have a bat that's haunting me. In that there's a bat design I desperately want to turn into a plushie not in that I am being literally haunted by a bat. As far as I know I am not haunted by a bat but to be fair I'm not confident I'd know? *my heart rate got high enough that made me cough but my asthma was flaring up enough that cough launched me into an asthma attack, which raised my heart rate even more, so basically I used my emergency inhaler and then was on the floor for a while. Feels bad! Do not recommend. I'm okay though just tired

[ceramicbeetle]

comrade in arms pt 2 is kind of funny for hawkeye’s flat “oh yeah” for casual sex fans followed by his ‘im going to killing my self’ facial expression when margaret wakes up and tries to start LARPing a long term romantic relationship with him

[marigoldbaker]

ok last thought of the night I was out w a dear friend today and mentioned smth to them that i wanna put here too esp after dating excursions!!! i am beginning to realize that the life i’m living now is the life i always wanted? there’s nothing i would change about it. i like where i live.

but more crucially — i was talking to this friend about that and tumbled into talking about a teacher of mine who i was very close with all through elementary/middle/high school (i was a favorite) and who lived alone in an apartment full of art and whimsy + who had a casual boyfriend here and there but who was very much a solo spinster unit. and realized in that convo that i think my dream life looks so much like that. so so much like that

[elisedonut]

I've been out all day with my mom and i pretty much spent the whole time we were in stores on a Spiderman/Ironman hunt

just pointing at everything with one of them on it and saying with dumbest voice "spiderman~" "Ironman~"

I'm lucky my mom is so used to my bullshit

she sat through like two hours of Starker edits and clip compilations once we made it back to her house too

it's fun being into a pairing that has enough to work with for edits again I missed it alot because i used to love edits and amvs but since getting heavy into Percy i haven't watched them as much since he just doesn't really get them because of the whole like three scenes thing