#and this escape attempt could all be 'forgiven'

[meowww-ffxiv]

Oh God.

The hunting technique I made up for Liios's clan functioned very alike to the "Death's Design" damage-up buff reapers use where you placed it on a target.

And his clan lived deep, deep in the mountains north of Garlemald, where the original reapers hailed from and where Y'shtola once remarked the veil between Source and Void was thin. Very likely, it was the same technique. In Liios's case, it was taught to his clan by the voidsent they played warden to, and protected.

Liios's clan had a way to hunt large, dangerous prey where the hunters and a mage would cast a spell that created a sort of mild aetheric link or attunement with the target that allowed them to sense each other.

1) it would make the dumber beasts constantly on edge and nervous, which tend to make them flee, which makes it easy to herd them towards traps they otherwise might be just too smart to fall for

2) the smarter ones might just turn around and face the hunters instead of fleeing, saving them some energy and effort going after it in the tundra hellscape

3) hunters could cast several spells based off of that link that disorient or debuff their prey to give themselves an edge

The skill required either a distinctive aetheric signature or some of the prey's own blood to substitute for that. The former was easier to come by than the latter of course, so keen hunters or mages were valuable for the hunting technique.

Liios used to be one of these.

He cast the spell on Nidhogg's eye because at the time Alberic requested his aid in hunting down this "traitor".

But a dragon's eye wasn't like any beast's. It was like comparing a lighthouse to a candle. In creating the aetheric link with it, Liios attuned himself to its aether.

What he didn't understand was how he was able to continuously use a portion of dragon's aether in the following months and years for dragoon techniques.

But his research into Allagan summoning with Y'mhitra made him think it wasn't that different from tempering, unfortunately. Blood was where a high concentration of any living creature's aether resided. Dragon's blood could corrupt your own aether and body to the point of a total transformation as seen in some heretics. Being exposed to an intangible but still extremely densely concentrated form of it, like Nidhogg's eye, would certainly impart a "taint" on anyone's soul not unlike how Allagan summoners gained their abilities by being exposed to primals' aether.

--or so he mused to Estinien at 3 in the morning before Estinien shoved his face into his tits and said, "Go to sleep."

[wheneverfeasible]

A Birthday Miracle

wc: 2.3k || rating: T || cw: child neglect, period typical misogyny and homophobia || tags: Steve Harrington has bad parents, platonic Stobin, implied future Steddie || brief summary: Steve’s birthday is December 25th and is always ignored, until Robin gets him a birthday present. || ao3

Steve, much to the disappointment of everyone, was born on Christmas Day.

Over the years, Steve learned to ignore his birthday. Despite what others may believe, he never received double the presents any year, and in fact by the time he was thirteen was just given a lump of cash and told to buy his own present. The Harringtons were far too busy planning their annual Christmas party, something that Steve’s birth had put a delay in that first year and which had never been forgiven.

It wasn’t that his birthday was ignored completely of course. At least not always. It just never was acknowledged on his actual birthday. As he got older, he might have done something with Tommy and Carol during the winter break, but they always had plans with their families on Christmas Day for obvious reasons. Even when he started dating Nancy, family took precedence over a boyfriend’s birthday.

Steve’s Christmas was always very simple. Wake up and get dressed in an outfit that his mother approved of, take posed photos in front of the wrapped but empty boxes before the tree, be handed his envelope of cash, and then make himself scarce as the caterers began arriving.

It was the winter of ‘85 when something different happened.

Steve was in his room, outfit for the Christmas party (different from the outfit he wore for the morning pictures) hanging from his bedroom door, something he would have to change into soon actually. Instead, he was laid starfished on his bed, staring up at his ceiling with that familiar sense of apathy regarding the day.

A few days previously the group had had their own little Christmas party, something where they wore casual clothes or even just their pajamas, crowding into the Sinclair basement to exchange gifts and share (kid friendly) eggnog and cider.

Steve had even managed to get Jonathan to take a special picture of the Scoops Troop, feeling more at ease with his arms around the people he rode an elevator to hell with than he knew he would in a few days in his own home. Erica had protested, but her grin was a little too genuine to make it anything more than a token attempt to remain aloof. Steve knew that feeling well.

So really, Steve had been expecting much the same as every previous year. He would attend his parents’ party just long enough to be the proper, well-behaved son, then he would escape with whatever leftovers he could pilfer from the caterers (they usually made him a plate) and sneak back into his bedroom to wait things out. Tomorrow, he might try to see if anyone wants to hang.

At least, that was the expectation.

Plink!

A small furrow etched into Steve’s brow at the soft noise, turning his head towards the shuttered blinds of his window. It had been a sound he was familiar with, just never on this end of things. When a soft thud came next, Steve let out a small snort and rolled off his bed, moving towards the window to pull open the blinds and look outside.

Robin Buckley had her arm arched back, a look of concentration on her face as she stood on the back patio, and even from this distance Steve could tell she had her tongue poking out slightly as she squinted one eye to make her shot. It explained why the previous one missed the mark and hit the siding by the sound of it.

Robin’s face lit up when she saw Steve, causing a flare of warmth to spread through Steve’s chest. He’d known the strange girl for half of a year and he’d be lying if he didn’t say it was the best six months of his life. Sure, the start of their genuine friendship had come about because of some crazy Russian scientists, an alternate dimension full of monsters, and a bit of physical and psychological torture, but all of that was worth it to be best friends with one Robin Buckley.

Still, he huffed faux annoyance at her, pointing at her through the window pane until she shrugged unrepentantly but dropped the small rock she’d been about to throw all the same. He hesitated only a brief moment before he mimed at her to head towards the basement garage, causing her to grin again and flash him two thumbs up.

A small bit of hushed bickering, sneaking around the caterers and decorators getting the place ready, and avoiding his parents ended with the two of them stumbling through the doorway of his bedroom with muffled giggles. Steve quickly shut and locked his door, turning to give Robin a fondly exasperated look as she began perusing his bedroom.

She’d been there before, of course, but less than a handful of times. He could see the way her gaze paused as it took it in the swimsuit model poster, grinning at her when she suddenly hurriedly looked away with a blush. She scowled at him, but he was glad that she no longer looked hesitant when he was reminded of the fact that she liked boobies.

Of course, it wasn’t really something he ever forgot, but he was glad that she felt safe with him. Felt like she could be herself without fear of retaliation. Sure, he could acknowledge that he still had a bit of a crush on her, but that was his problem, not hers. And he loved her more like a platonic best friend than he did as a silly crush.

“What are you even doing here? Don’t you have family visiting from out of town?” he asked with a shake of his head. They had already exchanged Christmas presents at the Sinclairs’, and they were more than likely going to meet up tomorrow after whatever family shit Robin had.

Robin rolled her eyes. “I told them I had somewhere important to be but that I’d be back in time for dinner.” She slid off her backpack she was wearing to rifle around until she pulled out…a lumpy package wrapped in white wrapping paper designed with balloons in rainbow colors. A big yellow bow was taped to the top.

“Happy birthday!” Robin exclaimed with a grin, dropping the backpack to thrust the package—the gift out towards Steve.

Steve physically startled at the exclamation, his mouth dropping into an ‘o’ of surprise as he took in the present that looked nothing like a Christmas present. No, he could see in between the balloons small script that repeated happy birthday! amidst tiny confetti bursts.

“Wh-what?” he gaped, certain he had misheard in some way.

Rolling her eyes again, Robin closed the distance and pushed the gift into Steve’s hands. “I said, ‘Happy birthday,’ dingus,” she laughed.

“But…you already got me a present,” Steve pointed out, because she’d just bought him Freddie Mercury’s new solo album Mr. Bad Guy for Christmas, which was perhaps one of the best if not the best presents he had ever received.

“I got you a Christmas present. This is your birthday present,” Robin stated like that should have been obvious.

Oh.

Steve’s fingers tightened on the present, the wrapping paper crinkling under his grip. There was a suspicious burning behind his eyes, but his father had told him only girls and queers cried, so he blinked rapidly for a moment to rein it all back in. It was just…

He couldn’t really remember ever receiving just a regular birthday present. Even by his friends. Tommy and Carol had always said their gift was a little bigger because it was for both, and even Nancy hadn’t really done separate gifts the one Christmas they were together. It was just never something he ever expected.

Yet here was Robin, his best friend, leaving her family on Christmas just to wish him a happy birthday and give him an honest to god birthday present. He swallowed thickly, more than just incredibly touched.

Before, he might not have said anything. Before, he might have just laughed it off and opened the present and been secretly grateful that someone had thought of him. But this was Robin.

Robin.

His best friend. God, he loved her. It didn’t matter if it was only platonic (with a capital P at that); it didn’t make it any less profound or true. He loved her. He didn’t think he had ever loved anyone as much as he loved her. Even back when they had bickered all the time at Scoops, there had been something there. He had just confused it for something else at first.

But they had clicked immediately, even back then. Even back when Robin had still thought him the same asshole he’d been back in high school, and potentially homophobic. Even she couldn’t deny that. Like they were meant to find each other. He just wished they had found each other a lot sooner.

But then, he hadn’t been that great of a person back then too. Maybe they found each other exactly when they meant to, like the universe just knew.

“No one…no one’s ever gotten me a birthday present before,” he softly admitted. “Not just a birthday present, I mean. Not one that wasn’t also a Christmas present.”

Robin’s gaze softened, and almost like they were reading each other’s mind, they reached out at the same time to grasp each other by the elbow in a gentle cradle. She didn’t look at him with pity, however. She knew that wasn’t what he needed.

“Well, of course I would be the one to do it first, dingus,” she lightly teased, squeezing his elbow briefly before letting him grasp his present with both hands again. “You’re my dingus. I love you,” she softly added, and the words helped heal that crack inside him that wondered if maybe he was still unworthy of love, just like it did every time she uttered those words.

“I love you too,” he replied, just like he always did. They didn’t say the words often, but they never let them go unanswered.

Robin grinned at him then, and it was that same grin as in the bathroom, when they suddenly knew that they had found their other half after all. “Open your birthday gift, Stevie,” she chided, spinning around to find the edge of the bed before plopping down with a clap of her hands.

“Dork,” he scoffed, but it was full of affection. He knew he was just as much of a dork. They both knew it, truly. He grinned down at the birthday gift in his hands, taking a deep breath before ripping the paper away.

“Bucky, you didn’t,” he gasped, his grin growing as he looked up at his best friend who was grinning back.

“It took ages to find the right one,” she confessed. “I made my mom take me all over for it.”

Steve hurriedly pulled the red puffer vest from the rest of the wrapping paper, careful not to drop the small toy figure resting on top. This? This right here? Christ, he had thought the album Robin had gotten him for Christmas had been the best present ever, but this certainly took the cake.

“Oh!” Robin exclaimed, and then like she could read Steve’s mind again, she was once more diving for her backpack. She pulled out a small cardboard box from the bakery downtown, followed by a blue candle.

“I don’t have a lighter,” she said apologetically as she opened the lid of the box to reveal a cupcake that was a little worse for wear from being in her bag, but still noticeably a cupcake. That she stuck the candle in. “But I know that you do, so hand it over and let’s light it up.”

Steve felt that burn behind his eyes again. A birthday present, one that symbolized something so important to them, and a birthday cake. On his actual birthday. He had never loved Robin as much as he did in that moment.

Huffing a small laugh that was only slightly wet, Steve carefully moved to set the little packed figure on his desk, propped up against his bowling pin he’d stolen with Tommy one year, and found his lighter to hand off to Robin.

“Happy birthday to you,” Robin started singing as soon as she had the candle lit, holding the box up with both hands. “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear dingus. Happy birthday to you. And many mooooore…” Robin’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “Make a wish, Stevie.”

What more could he possibly wish for when he had the best friend he could ever hope for giving him the one thing he’d never had before?

I wish for Robin to get all the happiness and love that she deserves, he decided, wishing for that with all his heart, and then he leaned forward and blew out the candle.

Next year, after the earthquakes, his parents canceled their Christmas party for the first time in two decades. They were done with Hawkins, they decided. And Hawkins, or at least the people in it important to Steve, were done with them too.

Steve’s friends convinced their parents to celebrate Christmas the day before, allowing them to throw Steve his first ever actual birthday party whose sole focus was just him.

But if Steve used the opportunity of a stray piece of mistletoe still hanging from the Munsons’ new house to kiss the boy he had a crush on, well, he just considered that his birthday present to himself.

After that, Steve never had to spend a birthday alone again, or have it ignored, even when they celebrated Christmas that day too. With one arm wrapped around his Platonic soulmate and one arm wrapped around the man of his dreams, Steve knew that he had somehow found the happiness and love he deserved too.

And it was the best birthday present he could have ever wished for.

~

Hostage Hotties (open):

@derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump @honeii-puff @scoops-aboy86 @dotdot-wierdlife @everywherenothere @bumblebeecuttlefishes @lawrencebshoggoth

[solspina]

Omission in Angelism

Luis Dante ⋆˙⟡

a short blurb inspired heavily by a thread by @lemon-russ and @squishyowl that i came across earlier! this isn’t proofread, so i apologize for any mistakes :)

trapped within an endless and grotesque night terror, dante is forced to watch the worst of his fears spring to life. fear reveals his deepest secrets to him, and he may only come to terms with them within the waking world.

warnings: very gorey in the beginning, lots of blood, graphic descriptions of a very bloody environment, reverse hurt/comfort

the pulpy floor seemed to yield with every step dante took forward. blood splashed onto the golden calves of his armor with every sickening squelch the ground made, occasionally accompanied by the snapping and cracking of fragile and decayed bones. trapped pockets of air were released from the endless heap of flesh beneath his feet, emitting muffled gurgling in their wake. the air was thick with the stench of rot and putrescence, and it pooled in his throat with every shallow breath.

this was no battlefield; he had walked through those before and come out relatively unfazed. he had seen the bodies of his brothers, and been able to identify each one by their faces and mourn them as individuals. that wasn’t the case this time. instead, each face engraved into this unholy amalgamation of human meat was indistinguishable. if he looked hard enough, he could make out the shapes of different body parts. hands, feet, arms, faces here and there, all cauterized together into an unholy organic mixture.

and yet he pressed on.

he seemed to walk for what felt like days, each step a thousand pounds heavier than the last. the crimson decay had began to absorb into his armor, soaking his feet with flesh and blood that clung to the elegant gold like it were simply white fabric. with each stain upon him, it spread its will to engage in coalescence with him, to unite him with its rot. voices had begun to speak to him, but they spoke only of his failures, the ones that drove daggers into his soul like knives. “you need to apologize” they hissed at him. “you will never be forgiven” they echoed. “the angel is gone” they declared. “you have nothing left” they told… no, reminded him.

in the beginning, they were merely haunting whispers, barely audible over the squelching under his footsteps, growing louder and more insistent as he limped into the endless unknown every step he took amplified their presence until, their volume had begun to drive him insane, for they whispered even as they screamed curses at him. they spoke of unworthiness, of guilt, of life.

“dante…”

every noise around him ceased as he heard her voice, choked and raspy behind him. she was no illusion.

sanguinius wasn’t either.

crimson red poured down from her lips like a waterfall as she choked. the angel sat behind her, one hand wrapped tightly around her throat, and the other steadying himself on the ground as he buried his teeth deep into her neck, taking pleasure in her pained whimpering and desperate gasps for air, each sound of suffering a symphony to his ears. her body convulsed from every attempt to breathe, but only blood could escape from her mouth when she exhaled. sanguinius’ fingers dug into her soft skin, undoubtedly breaking the flesh open as red poured from where his nails penetrated it.

he smiled upon noticing dante, upon witnessing his son fall to his knees in desperation as he reached a hand out to touch her, his eyes reflected nothing short of misery upon seeing his personal serf’s skin turn pale and limbs lay limp in the grasp of the angel.

“no…” dante pleaded, his voice trembling with fear and desperation. he knew his pleas would fall on deaf ears, but he could not stop himself. “father please,” he choked out as tears began to flow from his eyes. they streamed down his face, mingling with the blood and grime that covered him in a thick film of the disgusting thing that he walked upon. “she’s all i have left, father” he cried. his voice broke under the weight of grief and fear as he searched for any ounce of mercy within sanguinius’ eyes.

“dante…” she called out again in a whisper mixed with a whimper.

“please!” he begged once again, the tears now flowed unrelentlessly from his eyes. “i can’t lose her, my lord. please!” his voice cracked with each anguished plea.

this was her end. her eyes had finally began to close, and dante got to watch the life within them fade. the angel had only tightened his grip further, digging his nails further into her throat as he absorbed every drop of blood she had left within her. dante began to sink into the flesh amalgam beneath him without noticing. it grabbed him, even as he screamed while being pulled under and consumed. he did not focus on his own sinking. his focus instead on his serf and her final moments of life. “she means…” he pleaded one last time, his voice barely a whisper, too choked by both emotion and the hands around his throat for his words to be coherent. for the first time in his life he wished that he could live a little longer, if only to save her. “everything to me.”

silence had finally befallen him.

“dante?”

“dante!”

she screamed out his name as he jolted awake. he gasped for air, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. the sensation that he was being strangled remained fresh on his neck, his breathing was fast and erratic, each attempt a desperate attempt to fill his lungs as he trembled. his mind still situated on a reality in which she was gone.

no. she was here. she sat in front of him on his bed, holding a cold towel to his head with one hand and wiping his tears with the other. he had cried in his sleep, his fears expressing themselves even outside of his nightmare.

“dante, are you okay? i heard you crying from my room and i-“ he lunged forward without second thought, trapping her in his arms, enveloping the solidity and warmth of her body against his. his tears had begun to soak her shoulder almost immediately, and his fingertips dug into her back so harshly she knew for a fact they would leave bruises.

once her shock had faded, she too held him tightly, her heart breaking at the sight of her master’s anguish. “it’s okay, dante” she whispered, her voice gentle and soothing against the whirring of the flagship’s engines. “i’m not going anywhere.”

she continued to hold him as his heartbeats began to calm, her fingers gently stroking his back in a soothing rhythm. “you’re safe,” she murmured, her words a soft lullaby even up against the hardened exterior of commander luis dante. “we’re both safe.”

“please stay.” he asked, his voice muffled against her shoulder. she hummed in response, in the tone of a question. “stay with me… please.” his request highlighted the true volume of the situation. she and dante were close, and he had been vulnerable before, but never once had he openly asked for comfort, let alone asked to share his bed after one of many night terrors. who was she to deny her chapter master?

she invited herself under his blankets, the mattress already warm from dante’s few hours of sleep. the familiar scent of him enveloped her as she slipped under the covers. before she could even say goodnight, he’d moved closer. his chest found itself against her back, and his arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly as if he were afraid she would disappear. he buried his face into her hair, inhaling the smell of her perfume as a reminder of her presence. she was not gone. she was here.

he mulled over words that guilliman had said to him a few days prior before he closed his eyes once more. the primarch was right. perhaps a serf was no longer a fitting title for the woman who lay next to him. he remembered his nightmare, the vivid image of himself falling to his knees, sobbing, panicking over the thought of losing her. she means everything to me, he’d told himself… told sanguinius… within his sleep.

if the only way of ensuring he got to hold the only person who could so easily ease his terror this close every night was by making her his wife, so be it.

[dee-writes-angst]

CLEMATISES (Chapter Seven)

FEATURING Eris Vanserra x pregnant!reader

SUMMARY Eris processes new revelations while in a secluded cabin, when he finally makes his choice he ends up running into his father and learning the truth about what happened after he left.

CONTENT WARNINGS murder, death, angst, betrayal, Beron being a douche as per usual, Lucien being fucking oblivious, sad Eris, mentions of labor, just some more depressing shit as always.

AUTHORS NOTE sorry for the shorter chapter, this is just bringing everything together and setting up for the main event! That's right, I'm making you wait to know if they're going to be okay, sue me. :)

SERIES MASTERLIST

The cold wind of the Autumn Court’s forests bit at Eris’s skin, his cloak barely providing warmth against the relentless chill. He had left the palace in a whirlwind of anger and hurt, unable to face the reality of your betrayal. Each step he took away from the life he had begun to build with you was like a knife twisting deeper into his heart.

He found refuge in a secluded cabin, a place he had discovered years ago during one of his countless escapes from his father's tyranny. The cabin was nestled deep within the forest, surrounded by ancient trees whose branches intertwined above, creating a canopy that seemed to shield him from the rest of the world. It was here that he sought solace, attempting to mend the fractures in his heart.

Eris spent his days hunting and foraging, his skills as a warrior and a survivor keeping him alive. The physical exertion was a welcome distraction, a way to channel his rage and despair into something tangible. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape the memories of you. The way your eyes sparkled with life, the warmth of your touch, the sound of your laughter—it all haunted him relentlessly.

Nights were the worst. In the stillness, his mind would wander back to the moments you had shared. He remembered the first time you had laughed at one of his jokes, the soft sound of your breathing as you slept beside him, the way you looked at him with such trust and affection. Those memories were a torment, a reminder of what he had lost and the betrayal that had shattered his heart.

One night, as he sat by the fire, the flames casting flickering shadows on the wooden walls, Eris allowed himself to think about his father. The slap, the humiliation in front of the council—it was all too familiar. His father had always known how to break him, to strip him of his dignity and humanity. It was a cruelty Eris had endured for years, but it had never hurt as much as the pain you had caused.

The revelation that Lucien was the father of your child had hit him harder than any blow his father had ever dealt. Eris tried to process it, his mind a whirlwind of emotions. He had always been closest to Lucien, had raised him and protected him as best he could. The memory of being forced to hold Lucien down while their father slaughtered Jesminda still haunted him. It was a betrayal that had cut deep, one that Eris had never forgiven himself for.

Now, to learn that Lucien was the father of your child—it was almost too much to bear. Eris felt a bitter, acrid taste in his mouth every time he thought of it. How could you not have told him? The betrayal was a poison, seeping into his veins and clouding his thoughts.

Yet, in his isolation, Eris began to see things differently. He started to realize that pushing you away had been a mistake. You had been his refuge, his hope for a better future, and he had let his pride and fear drive him away from you. The thought of you struggling alone, possibly in danger, gnawed at him day and night.

The image of Lucien, his brother, raising his child was a painful one. But Eris knew that Lucien would never intentionally hurt him. Their bond, though strained, was still one of family. And you—he had seen the way you looked at him, the way you cared for him. The love he felt for you was too powerful to deny, too vital to ignore.

On the twelfth night of his solitude, as he stared into the fire, something shifted within him. The anger and betrayal that had consumed him began to wane, replaced by a deep, aching regret. He knew he had to find you, to apologize and make things right. The realization hit him like a tidal wave—he couldn’t live without you. The love he felt for you and your child was too strong to let go.

With newfound determination, Eris packed his belongings and set out from the cabin. The journey back to the palace was arduous, the terrain unforgiving, but he pressed on with relentless resolve. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, that you needed him now more than ever.

As he approached the outskirts of the palace grounds, the familiar sense of dread crept over him. He had no idea what he would find, or if you would even take him back. But he knew he had to try. For you, for your child, and for the future he desperately wanted to build with you.

His heart pounded with a mixture of fear and hope as he crossed the threshold of the palace, his mind racing with possibilities. He would find you, he would make amends, and he would fight for the life he wanted with you, no matter the cost.

Eris's steps echoed through the halls of the palace, the familiar corridors now seeming alien and hostile. His heart pounded with each stride, a mix of fear and determination driving him forward. He had to find you, to make things right.

As he turned a corner, he found himself face-to-face with Beron. The High Lord of the Autumn Court stood there, his eyes cold and calculating, a sneer curling his lips. The sight of his father, the man who had inflicted so much pain and suffering upon him, only fueled the fire of Eris's anger and urgency.

"Well, well, well," Beron drawled, his voice dripping with disdain. "Look who decided to return. The prodigal son. Have you come back to grovel, Eris?"

Eris clenched his fists, forcing himself to remain calm. "I'm not here for you, Father. I'm here for her."

Beron's eyes narrowed. "Her? Ah, you mean the pregnant woman Lucien tried to hide away in the palace. Pathetic, really. He always was soft-hearted, trying to protect those who don't deserve it."

Eris felt a chill run down his spine. "What do you mean, hide away?"

Beron chuckled, a dark, menacing sound. "Didn't Lucien tell you? He brought some woman here, claiming she needed protection. A waste of our resources, if you ask me. So, I threw her out. We don't need any more useless mouths to feed."

Rage boiled within Eris. "You did what?" he hissed, stepping closer to his father.

"I threw her out," Beron repeated, his tone mocking. "If she's foolish enough to get herself in trouble, she doesn't deserve our help. And as for you, meddling in affairs that don't concern you, it's high time you learned your place."

Eris's vision blurred with fury. The thought of you, vulnerable and in need, being cast out into the streets because of his father's cruelty was too much to bear. He felt a surge of power, raw and untamed, rise within him.

"You've gone too far, Father," Eris growled, his voice trembling with anger. "This ends now."

Beron laughed, a harsh, grating sound. "And what do you plan to do about it, boy? You think you can challenge me? You are nothing but a disappointment."

Years of abuse, torment, and humiliation flashed before Eris's eyes. The countless times he had been belittled, the pain inflicted upon him and his brothers, the loss of Jesminda, and now the suffering you had endured—all because of this man.

Eris's anger reached its breaking point. With a roar of fury, he summoned his fire, the flames dancing around his hands. Beron's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly masked it with a sneer.

"You think your fire can harm me?" Beron taunted. "You're weak, Eris. Always have been."

Eris lunged at his father, his flames blazing with an intensity he had never felt before. Beron tried to counter with his own power, but Eris was driven by a force beyond mere magic—a deep, primal need to protect, to avenge, to end the cycle of cruelty once and for all.

The fight was brutal, a clash of wills and powers that shook the very foundations of the palace. Beron fought back fiercely, but Eris was relentless, his determination unyielding. For every blow Beron landed, Eris struck back harder, his flames scorching through his father's defenses.

In the end, it was not just Eris's power that won the battle, but his resolve. With a final, devastating blast of fire, Eris overwhelmed Beron, the flames consuming him completely. Beron's screams echoed through the halls, but Eris did not relent until his father was nothing but ashes.

Breathing heavily, Eris stood over the remnants of his father, the reality of what he had done sinking in. He had killed Beron, ended the reign of terror that had plagued his family for so long. But there was no time to dwell on it. He had to find you.

Ignoring the stares of the palace staff and the whispers that followed him, Eris continued his search, his heart heavy with the weight of his actions. He had to find you, to make sure you were safe. Nothing else mattered.

As he raced through the palace, his mind was filled with thoughts of you—your smile, your touch, the love he had realized too late. He prayed he wasn't too late to make things right, to save you and your child from the fate his father had so callously decreed.

And then, as he turned a corner, he saw a familiar figure running towards him. Lucien, his face pale with worry, his eyes wide with fear. Eris's heart clenched at the sight of his brother, but there was no time for reconciliation now.

"Eris!" Lucien shouted, skidding to a halt in front of him. "You have to come quickly! She's in danger!"

Eris's blood ran cold. "Where is she?" he demanded, his voice hoarse with urgency.

"She's in the alley, near the east gate," Lucien panted. "She needs help, Eris. She needs you."

Without another word, Eris took off, his heart pounding with fear and determination. He would find you. He would save you. And nothing, not even the memory of his father's cruelty, would stand in his way.

Eris and Lucien raced through the palace halls, their footsteps echoing off the stone walls. The urgency in Lucien's voice had ignited a fire within Eris, and his only thought was to reach you as quickly as possible.

As they sprinted, Lucien glanced sideways at Eris, his brow furrowed with confusion and worry. "Eris, why didn’t you respond when I called out to you earlier? I saw you in the streets, but you just kept walking. I thought something was wrong."

Eris's mind raced, trying to recall the moment Lucien was referring to, but it was a blur. The past weeks had been a haze of anger, regret, and self-imposed isolation. "I didn’t hear you, Lucien," he said, breathless, his tone tinged with frustration. "I’ve been… dealing with things."

Lucien's eyes flashed with a mix of concern and exasperation. "You didn’t hear me? Eris, I shouted your name. You looked right at me, and then just walked away."

Eris shook his head, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. "I was lost in my thoughts. I had to get away, to think. Everything with her, with you… it was too much."

Lucien’s expression softened slightly, but the urgency in his voice remained. "I understand, brother, but right now she needs us. She’s in labor, Eris, and we need to get to her before it’s too late."

The words hit Eris like a physical blow. Labor. The baby was coming, and he wasn’t there for you. His heart pounded harder, and his pace quickened. "I won't let her down," he vowed, more to himself than to Lucien.

TAGLIST

@purple-writer8 @defnotlucienvanserra @cherry-cin @julesofvolterra @mirandasidefics @mandziaaa @lilah-asteria @littlestw01f @skylarkalchemist @babypeapoddd @daardyrnitta @talesofadragon @thecraziestcrayon @asaucecoveredsomething @starryhiraeth @darling006 @rosewood-cafe @saltedcoffeescotch @dumblani @paleidiot @rcarbo1 @yourmomsushi

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Hello love, I had a thought after the new episode about Crosshair x reader where she’s been with Hunter and wrecker trying to find Omega (and him) and when crosshair steps out of the ship she just runs to him <3 maybe it also includes them talking on the marauder after about what’s happened. I hope this sparks interest for you!! I love your writing :)

Forgiven

Crosshair x Reader

Summary- You reminisce on the first time Crosshair fought against you and his brothers. He thought you'd never forgive him, but he is surprised when you reunite.

A/N- So sorry this one took so long! I'm still sick but was determined to get this out! Thank you for requesting!! I hope you like it, please let me know if there is anything I can do to improve.

Word Count- 2,276

You remember the first time you realized you lost Crosshair to the Empire. The memory plagued your sleepless nights...

"I know what you're going to do, but please- don't." Omega begged Crosshair. You turned to listen to them, but couldn't figure out what she was talking about. What was he going to do? And how did Omega know about it?

"What do you know?" He remarked.

"I know you can't help it..." She rested a hand to his shoulder. The act warmed your heart, but anxiety rested in the deep pit of your stomach.

You couldn't place exactly why. I mean, you were all imprisoned. But, really, it was nothing the squad hadn't been in before. This was the kind of anxiety that rushed your veins. The kind that appears out of no where and strikes you.

At this feeling, you stood up to move and sit on Crosshairs right. He wasn't very affectionate in public, but you knew the proximity would ease your nerves.

Your hand gently ran down his arm as you sat, he straightened up at your touch. He was on edge as well.

The small gesture of him spreading his right leg slightly wider, to touch you, made you smile. Even in a cell, he could make you feel at home.

He didn't turn to look at you, but took your hand in his, holding it in his lap.

Just seconds later, a masked group of clones arrived.

"CT-9904, you're coming with us."

"Excuse me?" You stood, Hunter was quicker than you though.

"Oh no no, no. We stay together." The clone immediately rammed the butt of his gun into Hunter's stomach. He doubled over in pain.

"Stand down!" The clone yelled. You still advanced, determined to stick together.

A hand grabbed at your wrist. It was Crosshair, still looking down.

"Stop, you'll just get into more trouble." He then looked up at you. He stood, still holding onto you. Your breath hitched, scared for him. What would the Empire do to him?

"Wait!" You called out, he turned around just before stepping out of the cell.

You leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, somewhat of a 'goodbye.' You could see his face get visibly softer. You pulled him closer for a hug, your face in his neck. "Whatever happens, try to meet us at the Hangar..." You whispered. Only he heard.

He nodded his head at you, then turned to follow the clone. The jail wall went back up.

You watched him walk away, the clones right behind him. "He'll be okay. We'll find a way out." Hunter reassured, a hand on your shoulder.

He was right. You all did find a way out. In an attempt to retrieve everyone's armor, you all rushed to the Hangar. Just before putting your last arm piece on, you stopped. "Where's Crosshair! He should be back by now!" You had hoped he found a way to escape the clones that took him. Looking around again didn't help.

"Tech, power up the ship. The rest of us will go look for Crosshair." Hunter commanded.

No one had a chance to respond, the large doors of the cabin opened to reveal him. He was leading a large squad of troopers.

"Uhh, I don't think we'll have to go far..." Omega spoke.

Your breath hitched, but you weren't scared. Crosshair would never do anything to hurt you. Nor his brothers, right?

"Cross!" You went to meet him, you didn't care about the other clone troopers next to him.

However, Hunter blocked you with his body. You stopped, wary but trusting his extreme senses.

"Best stand down sergeant." Crosshair said, rifle at the ready. "Make it easy on yourself... And your team." He looked you in the eyes, then back to Hunter.

"Have you lost your mind!" Hunter interrogated.

The two of them argued back and forth, though neither side made an official attack.

You were so confused, why would Crosshair turn on everyone. Why would he turn on you? Tears prickled, you placed your helmet on so no one could see.

"Now surrender." Crosshair tried, deep down you didn't think he wanted to injure anyone.

Blast fired everywhere.

Omega covered her head- barred down. You rushed to her, giving her cover. Hunter joined your side, now he was guiding Omega back to the ship.

You, Wrecker, and Echo fought hard, which gave Hunter enough time to usher Omega safely to the ship.

Hunter barely had time to run back out, guns firing, when all the overhead lights went off. The storm outside did nothing to help the lighting.

You crouched down to collect your thoughts, looking through your visor you saw many heat signatures. It was hard to tell who was who, but identified Wrecker by his size and Echo by his arm.

You blasted at the on-coming troopers, distracted by a new wave of them coming in. Someone had called for backup.

A loud scream let you know Wrecker had been shot, you weren't close enough to help him. A glance back showed you Echo and Hunter pulling him to safety.

The second you turned back around the barrel of a gun was pointed at your head. A figure sat inches in front of you, also crouched down.

"Don't say a word." It was Crosshair...

You pushed your helmet off, suddenly desperate for some air. You stared at him with glossy eyes. He wouldn't really shoot you, would he?

"Follow them back to The Marauder. Do not tell a soul I let you." He commanded you, lowering his gun. Was he telling you to escape now?

"Cross, I don't-"

"It's not safe here. You have to run."

"Bu-"

"It is too late for me, but you need to go. Now." When you didn't get up, he raised his rifle at you.

"Go!"

You nodded, shoving your helmet over your head. You wasted no more time as you ran to the ship. Tech closed the ramp and door behind you.

The ship roared off, jumping into hyperspace immediately.

You were left dazed, confused, and heartbroken. How could you lose him so fast?

It had been a long time since you all had to run. Not a day, or night, went by that you didn't think about Crosshair. No matter what he thought about you- he was always going to be your true love.

You could only hope he still felt the same deep down.

While you secretly prayed that you'd run into him again, all your prayers were soon taken up. They shifted to be about Omegas safety, ever since she was physically taken from your arms on Ord Mantell.

They didn't stop until you, Hunter, and Wrecker received a coded message. It contained an abandoned planet's coordinates, sent by 'Lula.' You knew it was Omega, no one else knew about Wreckers (turned Omegas) stuffed doll.

Hunter couldn't fly the ship fast enough, you three soon arrived at the location.

At the sound of another ship landing, Wrecker went to see who it was. Just in case it was some kind of ambush.

Seconds later, you both heard giggles from Omega and laughter from Wrecker.

Hunter looked down at the floor, ashamed.

"Hunter, so see her." You said, resting a friendly hand on his knee.

He was silent for a moment, gaze still down. "What, what if she is ma-"

"Omega loves you, she's not mad at you for anything. Please go see your daughter." You smiled at your own words, and the fact that his face turned red.

He rose and walked out to see her. You followed behind, hugging Omega after she and Hunter had their moment.

"How... how did you escape?" Hunter asked, addressing the elephant in the room.

"I had help." Your smile dimmed, watching the empire ship door closely. A figure walked down, the second you copped a good look- you were running.

A gasp barely had time to leave your mouth, your feet hit the ground in quick strides. You didn't stop until you were met with his body.

He stumbled back, but caught you. Your arms immediately wrapped tightly around him. Like he was going to fade away.

You let out a single sob when his hand lifted to caress your hair, then back. "Cross..."

He didn't say a word, he just squeezed you tight. It told you all you needed to know.

In that moment you forgot all that he did. Heck, you didn't care about any of it. He was here, alive, safe, and not trying to attack anyone.

"I'm sorry.... I'm so, so sorry." He repeated himself, mumbling apologies over and over.

You pulled away, forcing his forehead down to touch yours. "Shut up." You silenced him with a kiss, your eyes closed.

It was an awkward few hours on The Marauder. Wrecker and Hunter were still wary on Crosshair. Truth be told, they had a right to be. Omega defended him when she could, but everyone needed to accept the change on their own time.

That Crosshair's days with the Empire was now in the past.

Omega soon fell asleep on Hunter, you could tell she needed a good nights sleep. One where she wasn't constantly looking over her shoulder, or scared someone would come in her sleeping quarters.

As Hunter put her to bed, Wrecker found himself on the verge of sleep too. He headed to one of the two cots hidden in the back.

"Hunter, go to bed." You gently suggested.

"You sure you'll be okay?" He eyed Crosshair, still not trusting.

"I'm a big girl Hunter. Plus, I don't think Cross would be dumb enough to go against all of us with no weapons." You tried to joke, but the tension was so thick you could cut it. Both men raised an eyebrow at you.

You sighed, "Go to bed. I'm fine, really." He nodded and headed off. That left you and Crosshair alone in the cockpit.

It was quiet for a minute, both of you were scared to speak first. It was all so... real, so serious all of a sudden.

"How bad was it?" You asked, turned away from him on purpose.

"Worse than you can imagine." He didn't mean to, but he broke your heart at his words.

You turned to face him, quickly taking note of how his hand shook. You looked from his hand to his face, he tried to hide it.

"Uhm, I guess i'll take the first watch if you want to get some rest." You were so uncomfortable. There was an unspoken thought dancing around the room. While you wanted to kiss and hold him, there was a weird air that surrounded you both. It made you question every move, like it was your first date all over again.

"Right..." Was all he could muster. He was terrified of saying the wrong thing.

He bit this fear back with his next words. "I wish, I wish I could go back. Do things... differently."

"I know. Me too." You tried to meet his gaze, but he stared at the wall.

You were tired of this. What happened to the two of you?

"Crosshair."

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong."

He stared.

"Cross, if you don't love me anymore just tell me. Don't beat around the bush."

This made him snap his head at you. "What? You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Really? Because after I kissed you, you haven't touched me! We used to tell each other everything, now we can't hold simple conversation! I Know a lot happened, I am so sorry you went through what you did. It shatters me just thinking about you getting hurt... but please, talk to me." You pleaded.

He grunted and sat up straight. "You deserve someone better! That's why. Because you shouldn't want to be with someone who turned on his brothers. Who abandoned his team. Who tried to kill the person he loved most. Maybe I should stop beating around the bush, you'll realize what I really am. Disposable."

You blinked up at him, heart beating fast. You didn't know what to say.

Crosshair 'humphed' and slouched back in his chair.

You rose to your feet, standing in front of him. You took his shaking hand in yours. "The man I love came back. He saved Omega. I know deep down you are the same Crosshair I fell in love with. The man that, even when controlled by an inhibitor chip, managed to let me run free. You could have killed me, that's what the chip told you to do... but, you didn't. Crosshair, I won't- I can't blame you for doing anything under the control of your chip."

"I did awful things after that chip was taken out..." He still thought he was unworthy, trying to make you agree.

"You can't push me away. You can't push away the people who love you." You still held his shaking hand in yours, raising your other to rest on his cheek.

"I forgive you... I truly do. I know it will be a long time until you forgive yourself, but I will be right here when you do. The guys will come around, just wait. I promise everything will be okay."

He closed his eyes, leaning into your palm. You moved down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. At his, he rested his hands on your hips and pulled you to his lap.

You curled yourself up, finally feeling that warm comfort you always felt in him.

You kiss him again, slowly this time.

"I'll do better..." He croaked.

"I know you will."

A/N- Thank you so much for reading! I have fr been sick for a whole week, like give me a break, body! When I am feeling 100% I will come back and fix any grammatical errors. Thank you for your patience and understanding!

Tags- (lmk if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @knight-of-flowerss

[felixbobeelix]

In Defense of The Emperor (or, Ansur Is Not A Victim)

GIF credit: @mittthrawnuruodo

The Emperor is, in my opinion, one of the most underappreciated and misunderstood characters in Baldur's Gate 3, and I have spent a lot of time thinking about reasons why that may be. I honestly think it's tragic because The Emperor is such a compellingly-written character, and I think a lot of that gets lost under the landslide of abject hatred people feel for it.

I have a lot of thoughts about this, so buckle up buttercups! Lots (and lots, and LOTS) more under the cut!

I was playing BG3 again the other day, as one does, and was working my way through Emp's reveal, its initial withholding of the details about its escape and the nature of its relationship with Stelmane, and all the Ansur stuff, and I got fired up about this again. I don't think I'll ever stop getting fired up about The Emperor, to be honest pffffff.

There are a few really common reasons I see for why people hate The Emperor. One is its manipulative behavior, lies by omission, and the fact that if you pressure it enough, its attitude toward Tav will change. Another is the fact that if you choose to free Orpheus it will willingly return to the Netherbrain. Then there's its enthrallment of Stelmane and the implication that it led to her illness and death. And, of course, there's the idea that The Emperor betrayed its longtime friend and implied former lover, Ansur.

I also think there's a secret fifth option that maybe happens unconsciously. The vast majority of people spent a lot of time crafting their Dream Guardians into gorgeous feasts for the eyes, which is something the devs intentionally encouraged players to do. So when the game hit them with the twist and their beautiful Dream Guardian was replaced by an (ostensibly) unappealing Illithid, their sense of betrayal was amplified; they were predisposed to greater anger and hatred for The Emperor than they may have felt if it had retained the pleasant visage of their Dream Guardian.

Emp's Manipulation:

I find the argument about Emp's lying and manipulative behavior a little strange, when, for example, so many people are willing to overlook Astarion's abject manipulation of their Tavs. Personally, I think the reasons here are twofold. One, Astarion enjoys the privilege of being conventionally attractive and Emp does not, plain and simple. Two, sticking it out through Astarion's lying and manipulation will eventually lead to satisfying gain: an endgame relationship with him. There's no such satisfying outcome with Emp, so players are less inclined to put up with behaviors they endure for Astarion's sake. It's actually arguably easier to get Emp to admit to its manipulation of Tav than it is to get Astarion to do the same thing, and yet Astarion is more readily forgiven.

There may also be some degree of people being skeeved out by Emp's mind reading and its apparent ability to enthrall. But even this is a little odd, since Tav and their companions are all telepathically joined and that doesn't scare the player. The Emperor also never actually makes an attempt to enthrall Tav even when they're being combative and resistant. My only conclusion is that player distaste in this context is a product of the negative narratives about Illithids throughout the game. Which, for the record, are narratives I think we're meant to challenge as players.

(As an interesting side note, those narratives seem to be easily overriden when an Illithid is seen as helpful, as in the case of Omeluum. Despite clear evidence that it has not entirely denounced Illithid culture, and despite its membership in a morally questionable organization, players have a largely positive opinion of Omeluum simply because it tries to help them. They seem to forget that it was experimenting on Tav, and its miscalculation could have seriously compromised them.)

I think it's also worth pointing out that an Illthid in hiding is going to find particular challenge in simply surviving and remaining undetected, and even moreso in avoiding being attacked and killed, especially if it does not have the benefit of allies. Even Omeluum (who has the benefit of allies in the Society of Brilliance) has to disguise itself when it moves about the city. If you visit Omeluum and Blurg in Baldur's Gate you can listen in to their conversation, and Omeluum admits it sometimes takes the form of Blurg when it goes around.

I staunchly maintain, for one thing, that Emp is a true neutral character. It will resort to nearly any means necessary to assure its survival and freedom - though, again, it does stop short of robbing Tav of their autonomy, which I think is significant. And really, all things considered, Emp's methods are some of the least insidious when compared with the behaviors of other notable characters in the game. Even its insistence that Orpheus must be kept imprisoned is driven more by fear and a lack of real alternatives than any kind of malice. And alignments aside, when you consider the attitudes people have about Illithids, it's suddenly not surprising that Emp resorts to things like lying to protect itself and convince others to ally with it.

This concept was something I had to explore in depth when I worked with a DM friend who helped me construct a playable Illithid character, and I was challenged to run with a party of adventurers without them discovering my true race. It is NOT EASY. Almost immediately, despite my best intentions, I realized I would likely need to resort to some questionable methods to maintain my character's secrecy. The Emperor is the same. I'll touch on this more when I get into Emp's dynamic with Stelmane.

Player Influence:

Maybe the most frustrating observation I've made is that The Emperor is one of the only characters players will typecast based on the worst potential dialogue outcomes. Tav's relationship with pretty much all of the characters can be either improved or totally soured by the dialogue options they select. In most cases players are able to make the distinction that their choices are what influence the attitudes of the characters they're interacting with. But in the case of The Emperor, players will refuse to believe that any positive interactions with it are genuine because there are dialogue paths that lead to negative outcomes. I have to wonder why this standard does not apply to companion characters who break up with Tav, treat Tav questionably, or leave the party altogether when the player selects negative dialogue options.

Because of the potential for the Emperor's attitude to sour and for it to turn away from the player, it is written off as an entirely disingenuous character. However, Emp repeatedly demonstrates a capacity for veracity and emotionality, and I believe that when you foster a positive relationship with it the feelings it shares are genuine, just like with any other character. I'm guessing it doesn't help that Emp can be very matter-of-fact and pragmatic even during positive interactions, where the companion characters are often downright poetic in their regard for Tav and willing to make sacrifices for Tav when their approval is high.

I can see how this would give the sense that Emp's feelings are lesser, because it brackets those feelings with discussions about things like whether Tav is embracing tadpole abilities. But 1) Emp stands to lose its freedom again if the conflict with the Elder Brain goes awry and is, I think very understandably, preoccupied with what it believes are the necessary steps to ensure victory, and it seems anxious to affirm that Tav is as dedicated to the best outcome as it is. And 2) if this kind of pragmatism is the barometer by which people are measuring their trust of a character's feelings about them, I'm honestly a little afraid to know how they feel about their interactions with very pragmatic people IRL. 👀

Some people just are less prone to emotional expressiveness, or will ease their discomfort around emotional expression by diverting conversation to more practical matters. That doesn't mean the feelings they express are not genuine. We see over and over that Tav has a way of awakening strong, unexpected feelings in the people they meet throughout the course of the game. There's every possibility that this is what happens with Emp, and that it is taken aback by its feelings and is steering the conversation back to the matter of the conflict with the Brain as a way of avoiding being caught up and losing the plot.

I think that because the game does such a good job of playing up the idea that Illithids are soulless and inherently manipulative and evil, players are overly willing to accept it as fact. However, the game does also give us opportunities to question that narrative, and I think we'd do well to seize those opportunities. Even in raw DnD Illithid lore has shifted toward the idea that Illithids are more than the vicious monsters they started as. I think it's far more compelling and creative to consider that Emp is being genuine when you pursue positive interactions with it.

Relationship with Stelmane:

This begs the question, then, of whether the Emperor is truly upset about Stelmane's death. It certainly seems to be, but when you begin to suspect that it was enthralling her and forcing her to do its bidding you begin to doubt that it really cared about her.

Honestly? I'm not sure whether it did or not. Perhaps what it's truly upset about is the realization that it no longer has the option to return to its previous life as a major player in the Knights of the Shield. Maybe aside from the enthrallment, it actually did respect and even like Stelmane. Perhaps they had a rapport at some point prior to her enthrallment, and it is nostalgic about that. I think its feelings in that moment are real, it's simply unclear as to what those feelings are about.

In any case, I am openly and unabashedly here to disabuse anyone of the notion that Stelmane was a good person. A lot of what we hear about her we hear from Wyll, who (like pretty much every other character) is an unreliable narrator. The truth is unfortunately not as nice as Wyll would like to believe. With as little information about her as we have, this seems a bold claim for me to make, but I make it confidently, and here is why: her membership in the Knights of the Shield precludes her from being a good person.

The Knights of the Shield is an organization dealing in political manipulation, information brokering, and financial gain for its members. At the very least, Belynne Stelmane was concerned with underhanded political maneuvering and the accumulation of wealth, and at worst she was a willing servant of Gargauth, the god of betrayal and political corruption. It's unclear what level of seniority she held in the organization, though Emp's decision to have her as its avatar implies that she held significant influence. Either way, at no point was it possible for her to be involved with the Knights of the Shield and still be a good person.

And, yes, the same can be said of The Emperor. To be clear, I am not claiming that Emp is a "good" aligned character. However, its motivations are inherently different to Stelmane's and the other members of the Knights of the Shield. Rather than being strictly financially or politically motivated, Emp's involvement with the Knights was most likely born as much out of necessity as any desire for power. The Knights were a viable cover, a way for it to remain hidden and still secure a life of relative freedom for itself. To be sure, it could have attempted to ally itself with another organization, such as the Society of Brilliance. However, the Society is comparatively smaller, less powerful, and less profitable. Emp also does not appear to have any interest in the sorts of experimentation and data collection as members of the Society of Brilliance.

Based on Emp's characterization, it is not suited to a life of exploration and travel. It does not have the same innate arcane ability as Omeluum, who is able to exist and still maintain its autonomy in regions where the influence of an Elder Brain is relatively strong. It's more likely that The Emperor's ability to maintain its autonomy is linked to its proximity, or lack thereof, to an Elder Brain. Likely, it chose to secure a life for itself in a single location far enough away from the reach of an Elder Brain that it could escape enthrallment, and allied itself with the Knights of the Shield because they were the most proximally convenient and had the best capacity for security.

At any rate, I think it's entirely reasonable to assume that if Stelmane had not been enthralled, she would have ripped the rug out from under The Emperor the moment she stood to gain from doing so. Emp stood its best chance of success by enthralling her, and while that is certainly a morally questionable thing for it to do, be assured that it was not taking advantage of some wholesome paragon of goodness. Likely as not, if the roles had been reversed, Stelmane would have subjected Emp to a similarly morally questionable form of subjugation until the moment came for her to discard it entirely.

As an aside, the game works pretty hard to give the impression that Stelmane’s enthrallment led to her illness and eventual passing, but it's also entirely possible that she truly did simply have a stroke. Or, perhaps more compellingly, her condition had nothing at all to do with The Emperor and was potentially infernal in origin, given the way that she allegedly stared unwaveringly at Wyll the last time he saw her, which was shortly before he was targeted by Mizora. She was already well into her illness at that point, and didn't seem cognizant of anyone else at the time, but Wyll was of particular interest to her. Maybe it's nothing, or maybe the game intentionally misled players into believing The Emperor was responsible for Stelmane's decline, when it was never Emp's fault in the first place.

The Emperor's "Betrayal" of Ansur:

Here is where my opinion diverges most significantly from the opinions of other players. Put plainly, The Emperor did not betray Ansur. That is an idea that is given by Ansur, and by the following passage, which can be found during the challenges in the Wyrmway:

The note preceding the author's writing gives the distinct impression that the author is - yes - an unreliable narrator. They are not only giving a secondhand account of the events, but they are dramatizing that account.

Then, after defeating Ansur, the player finds the following letter on Ansur's body:

We also have additional story from The Emperor itself about the events that led to Ansur's death.

The reality is that Ansur, motivated by his love for Balduran, saved The Emperor from its enthrallment by the Elder Brain in the hopes of restoring the Balduran he knew and loved. Despite being asked over and over to stop, despite The Emperor's insistence that it was content with its new form, Ansur doggedly searched for a way to return The Emperor to its previous form as Balduran. Rather than accept that Balduran's new form was permanent, rather than accepting him as The Emperor, rather than being happy enough that his loved one was no longer a slave and that the memories of their time together were still intact, Ansur was not satisfied. He could not look past Emp's Illithidness, he could not let go of the narrative that Illithids are monsters. His refusal to adjust his paradigm, his unwillingness to accept The Emperor as a valid friend or ally or lover, was a failing on Ansur's part, and it was incredibly selfish.

Emp's letter to Ansur is incredibly heartfelt, and focuses entirely on Ansur and his happiness. Emp clearly still values Ansur and wants him to be contented. Even as Emp draws its boundaries, it keeps the focus on Ansur's well-being. It is a really good letter, and nothing about it implies that Emp held any ill will toward Ansur. It simply wanted Ansur to give up the pursuit of reclaiming Balduran as he was. But Ansur was unwilling to do that. So unwilling, in fact, that he felt it would be better to kill The Emperor rather than accept its new form.

Therein is the true betrayal: attempting to kill your friend while they're sleeping because you can't make them fit your ideal of them is, put simply, super fucked up.

The idea that it's a betrayal for The Emperor to have killed Ansur in self-defense, but Ansur attempting to murder Emp in its sleep is somehow not a monumental betrayal, is absolutely wild to me. Ansur was the one who betrayed The Emperor, and his rage is as misguided as the hate players have for Emp. I think players are blinded by the heroic narrative around Ansur, and the narrative that Illithids - and, by proxy, The Emperor - can't be trusted undermines the explanation that The Emperor gives. Players want to believe Ansur despite the evidence that his feelings of betrayal are unfounded, because they're naturally more inclined to trust a heroic figure than an Illithid. Again, I think this was a place in the game where players were challenged to question accepted narratives.

Of course, it's entirely possible that Ansur's attempt to kill The Emperor was driven by something entirely separate from the story we're offered in the game. Maybe Ansur took issue with The Emperor's movements with the Knights of the Shield; though that would beg the question of why he would be so determined to eliminate Emp and not any of the other members. Or, maybe Emp killed Ansur unprompted in a bout of pure Illithid malice, which would be a betrayal indeed - though that seems highly unlikely after reading its letter to Ansur. Ultimately, however, without any indication otherwise, we have to take the story we're given at face value. As far as we know, Ansur was motivated to kill The Emperor as part of his cognitive dissonance around its change from Balduran to The Emperor, and that selfish, misguided act constitutes a betrayal of Emp by Ansur, not the other way around.

The Emperor's Return to the Netherbrain:

I saved this for last, because it's actually very simple. When you choose to free Orpheus, The Emperor declares its intention to return to the Brain, and true to its word it does exactly that, and fights against you during the final battle. Why, after fighting so hard to avoid the Brain, would Emp so willingly return to it?

Put simply, because it has no choice. Or, it has no choice in the context of the game as-is. What reason does Emp have to believe that Orpheus, an avid enemy of Illithids, having been subjugated by this Illithid, would be willing to extend his protection to it?

Emp knows that the moment Orpheus is free to give or take his psionic protection, he will refuse to protect it. The jig is up. The game is over. In its pragmatic way, The Emperor concedes defeat. Its anger is palpable, you have forfeit its hard-won freedom. But the cards are on the table, and it knows that without Orpheus' protection it is going to be enthralled whether it wants to be or not. So it goes willingly. At least it can make one more choice before it loses its autonomy.

Final Thoughts:

There is so much more to say about The Emperor and its feelings and motivations. Again, in no way is it a good-aligned character, and even with the best outcomes it's still clear that Emp is at least somewhat driven by a desire for greatness, whatever form that greatness takes. That was true even when it was Balduran. But I do think it's worth remembering that when you foster a positive connection with it and side with it for the endgame, it regards your parting with some sentimentality, and then just...leaves. It's all fairly benign. The player's choices go a long way in influencing how malicious The Emperor is, and I think that's important to remember.

I could go on for hours about this, it is absolutely one of my hills to die on, but I think this is enough for now lol. I just wish The Emperor were respected more as a complex, compelling character. I wish it were at least afforded the same defiant love some of the villains are given. I genuinely hate to see Emp flattened and written off when it's such an amazing character!

[acourtofthought]

@works-of-heart left a comment on another post, about how hard anti's are on Lucien as a mate while Rhys and Cassian's behaviors are always forgiven.

It's so true. I loved Feysands love story but Rhys forced Feyre into their bargain (and so much more). He then used her as a pawn on multiple occasions. Cassian regularly harassed Nesta. No mate is perfect however there are two characteristics of mates that exist across Sarah's writing.

1) If a mate is aware of a female's depressed state, it physically affects him and he goes out of his way to reach out to her, to worry whether she's eating, to worry about her mental health.

2) If a mate is unable to help in her rescue, he believes in her ability to handle things herself.

Rhys could not truly help Feyre during the trials, he had to stand there and watch her risk her life with Amarantha yet he witnessed her cunning with the Wyrm. He then believed in her ability to escape the Weaver, to get herself safely out of Spring after doing what she needed to do there as a spy. Yes, he was worried for her but he also knew what she was capable of therefore he did not feel the need to rush to her rescue.

With Cassian, he was worried for Nesta and his gut instinct was to enter the Rite. However once he knew that wasn't an option, he wasn't losing his mind in the following days. He believed she was trained well enough to protect herself.

Some claim Lucien didn't react like a mate when Elain was taken by the Cauldron but we actually have no idea how Lucien reacted. What he felt, what he thought, whether he was momentarily terrorized. Since Feyre's POV was the only one we had in ACOWAR (outside of her slipping into Lucien's mind), it's unfair to claim that Lucien didn't respond appropriately in that moment since she wasn't around to witness his reaction. Chances are high that he was on a boat sailing across the sea and was prevented from getting to Elain even if it was his desire to do so. However it is canon that he was haggard, bloody (from those he fought) and panting when he finally appeared, as if he had run from the shore and the first thing he did was search for Elain. Within moments of seeing her and seeing she was safe he went on to give her credit for the killing blow of the King.

If you look at Sarah's past mates, Lucien not only matches their behaviors but he bests them all.

He never forced Elain to talk to him (the way Rhys did Feyre), he never harassed her when it was clear she wanted nothing to do with him (as Cassian did Nesta) yet he still cared for her health and well being in the same way Rhys and Cassian did for Feyre and Nesta. All three cared more for the females' happiness than their own, even when the females happiness caused them pain and suffering.

Lucien is the GOAT of mates and people can argue against that fact all they want but it's not going to be long before they have to accept that their attempts to tear him down amounted to a whole lot of nothing.

[v6quewrlds]

Ooooooh maybe some accidental angst where Andrei gets "stood up" but it was bc reader went to the different location of the restaurant and they couldn't get a hold of Andrei bc their phone died and they texted him after they got home so Andrei shows up with take-out

-hoodharlow

You sighed with a sense of defeat as your phone went dark, dying in the midst of your attempt to figure out where Andrei had gone. The host, a middle-aged man with a thick mustache, had given you a puzzled look when you gave him Andrei's name. He had checked his reservations, and there was no booking under that name.

Your stomach churned as you realized you might have gotten the time or place wrong. Or perhaps he had changed the plans and you had missed his message. You had been so excited to see him, to feel his arms around you, to taste the warmth of his lips on yours. But now, you were alone, with nothing but the cold wind whispering through the empty streets for company.

Your heart raced as you entered your apartment. With trembling hands, you plugged in your phone and waited for it to come back to life. Knowing Andrei would be upset, you hoped it wouldn't take long. As the screen lit up, you saw a flurry of missed calls and messages from him. The realization that you might have hurt his feelings made your chest tighten. You quickly dialed his number, your heart in your throat.

Andrei's voice was a mix of relief and annoyance when he picked up. “Dude, where are you?” His voice was strained, the sound of frantic worry hidden beneath a layer of irritation.

“I’m so sorry, Drei. My phone died and I went to the wrong place,” you blurted out, your voice a mix of apology and desperation. You could almost feel the tension in his silence before he spoke again.

“The wrong place? What do you mean?” Andrei's voice grew louder, his confusion palpable through the phone.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “I went to El Jardín. But you weren’t there.”

Andrei’s voice softened, his concern growing. “El Jardín? Babe, I’ve been waiting for you at La Casita for the past hour. Did you get my texts?”

“No, I didn’t. I’m so sorry. My phone died when I got to El Jardín, and I had no way to reach you. I didn’t know what to do.”

Andrei let out a sigh of relief. “It’s okay, baby. I just thought something bad happened, you know? You had me worried sick.”

“I know, I’m so sorry. I should have checked the place first before coming back. I just assumed—”

Andrei interrupted with an exhale. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy you’re okay. I’ll grab some takeout from Five Guys and come over. We can eat at your place. Watch a movie or something?”

The thought of Andrei bringing greasy food to your apartment brought a smile to your face, despite the mess you had made of the evening. “That sounds perfect,” you replied, feeling a knot loosen in your stomach.

It took Andrei less than twenty minutes to arrive, and when he did, he was holding a bag that smelled heavenly. The crinkling of the greasy paper filled the room as he pulled out two cheeseburgers, fries, and a shake, all smothered in a sheen of oil. Your stomach rumbled at the sight, and Andrei couldn't help the amused laughter that escaped him.

“You want me to get us plates?” you asked, your eyes still on the food.

Andrei shook his head, setting the bag down on the counter. “Not yet. I wanna make sure you still love me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his earnest expression. You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his strong hands ventured down to hold your waist. “I could never not love you, Andrei. Please forgive me?”

Andrei leaned down to kiss you, the warmth of his lips dispelling the last of your nerves. “Forgiven, as long as you don’t do that shit to me again.” He laughed lowly, his arms tightening around you as he leaned in for another kiss, this one longer, more lingering.

[bones4thecats]

Them With A Reformed Sinner! S/O

Type of Writing: Random Idea Name: Them With A Reformed Sinner! S/O Characters: Adam, Lute, and Emily Idea-Giver: Random Thoughts

A/N: This is mainly about how they meet and my take on how Season two may go, y'know with God being introduced and holding a meeting on what happened during Extermination Day. Anyways, have a great rest of your days/nights!

⚠️ Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Death and Non-Canon Events ⚠️ Spoilers for: S1 ⚠️

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Reformed Sinner! Reader ; 'Died' with Sir Pentious ~ Fox-Demon

🎸 Adam, despite what many in Heaven think, doesn't bother memorizing all of his descendants and what they do. He only sees them after they die during the Extermination

🎸 You were one of Sir Pentious' helpers when it came to making his creations, such as the Egg Boiz for example. And, when he had begun his charge up his ship to take on Adam head-first, you were one of the people inside of the ship, holding his hand as he said his so-called final words; Fire.

🎸 When you both awoke after falling onto a ground, you couldn't lie, you were horrified. After all, who just dies from being blasted by an angel and suddenly appears in a new land?

🎸 It took you a little more processing than your college, but, when you did finally come to terms that you were in Heaven, due to your actions in Hell against Adam, you were quite pleased

🎸 This action just allowed Heaven to realize their faults in judgement; Reformation was possible!

🎸 You and Pentious were taken to the main judgement room where Charlie and Vaggie were months prior and that was where you met your unknowing future spouse

🎸 Adam had just barely dodged the attack from Niffty and escaped back to Heaven with Lute on his tail as he swore revenge on the residents of the Hotel

🎸 He had then healed up and was required to go to the meeting where their Father, God, had set up to discuss the day's events and whatnot. And anyone could tell that he was both pissed and pleased

" And Adam. What in the name of Earth were you thinking?! I only allowed Extermination on the one condition that is happened when I decided it to be necessary, not for you to do it six months prior! Without my knowledge nonetheless! And, who are these two?! " " They're the first reformed sinners! My Father, meet Sir Pentious and Y/N L/N. "

🎸 Adam glared at you two, remembering how you stood beside Charlie as they declared war upon one another. And he remembered how determined you stared him in the eyes as he blasted you two nothing alongside your friend

🎸 Once God had calmed down and motioned for you, Pentious, and Adam to step forward and announced for everyone else to exit the room, the first man and grown more nervous than before

🎸 When the creator of life had placed you three at a table and told you guys to speak to one another without any malice or hatred, and, in turn, basically apologize, Adam straight-up asked why

" Because Adam. They are new members to our home, and that means we must treat them with the same amount of respect that we treat the natural Winners. Now, apologize. " " But- I- Ugh... fine... I'm sorry... " " Apology- " " Forgiven. And we apologize for attempting to kill you in return. We just- felt the need to protect our friends more than we had any value for each other's lives. "

🎸 He was shocked, you were apologizing for trying to kill him?! He had tried killing you! You must have been trying to deceive him, that is what foxes were known for; deceit.

🎸 Forcing a smile despite his confusion and wish to throw out colorfully decorated questions at you, Adam just pushed through the meeting second by second. But, he'd have to ask you questions later on. He just had too.

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Reformed Sinner! Reader ; 'Died' fighting along Alastor ~ Chickadee-Demon

🗡️ She did not want to be here in the slightest.

🗡️ Why was she needing to tell her side of the story?! You and your little friend, Alastor, had attacked Adam, nearly killing him in the process, much to everyone's shock

🗡️ Lute was not amused with how you kept a small smile when mentioning your fight against Adam and how you had stood your ground during, smiling with full teeth- ones matching the Radio Demon's, though yours were more white

🗡️ The Father of Humanity just looked at you and your snake friend before smiling gently and motioning you and him to come closer so he could look into your eyes

🗡️ He could tell when someone was lying by looking deep into their eyes, it was something about their soul being based off of a piece of him that made it work

🗡️ Lute watched with narrowed eyes and your wings come flying backwards with force as your eyes turned white with black spots littering, oh how she hoped you and Pentious were banished back to Hell

" They pass. Their seems to be no amount of sin left within them, well, there is a hint, but a hint I can forgive. " " WHAT?! "

🗡️ Smacking her hands to her mouth, Lute slammed her head into the stand's top, making a loud thump echo throughout the room signalling her shock if the word was not enough

🗡️ The exorcist looked at you and Pentious and gritted her teeth as he began to tear up with joy as God summoned his little Egg Boiz back into existence, though they took on a more heavenly-egg form than an demonic-egg one

🗡️ Looking at you especially as a small bird landed on your large piece of feather-like hairs that stood up from your head, her heart began to pound heavily as her mind screamed at herself for the interior action

🗡️ Why in the name of Heaven was her heart pounding at your smile and gentle nature with the Egg Boiz and your little bird friend?!

🗡️ Whatever the reason was, she didn't want to think about it anymore. After all, such an action could be perceived as unholy, resulting in her demise to Hell

🗡️ Holding her spear closer, Lute nodded as God dismissed everyone and Emily hugged you and pet your bird as she spoke to Sir Pentious, asking you guys some stuff about the Hotel and who you guys believed could be redeemed next

🗡️ Lute almost bumped into you, but she stopped herself, allowing one question to burn in her mind as she began to walk away to where a certain female demon was;

🗡️ Why did you seem so cute?

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Reformed Sinner! Reader ; 'Died' protecting Charlie from Adam ~ Hyena-Demon

💞 You were known to be very aggressive around those you deemed not worthy of your presence, and as one of the most dangerous demons in Hell when angry, even those in Heaven saw this come out

💞 This happened when Adam had tried to lay his hands on Charlie during the meeting, though you were far faster and more dangerous than Vaggie when it came to this time

💞 You had jumped the gun and kicked the first man away, shocking everyone. And when you barked for the two females to be sent back with you to your home, Sera just nodded and made a portal for you guys to leave, much to Adam's annoyance

💞 Emily had barely even met you, and it saddened her. But, seeing you defend Charlie from such a powerful heavenly figure made her heart skip a couple beats

💞 Wait- why was she thinking you looked amazing protecting the Princess of Hell?! Was this unholy?!

💞 She hadn't heard about or from you until Extermination Day, which was when Adam and his exorcists had descended to attack and kill as many sinners as they could

💞 And in Adam-ly fashion, they had went to attack the Hazbin Hotel first, much to everyone else's annoyance

💞 You had noticed that Adam was about to kill Charlie, so, you threw yourself in front of her, making his large attack hit you and in-turn kill you, and that action prompted the angry outburst of your closest friends, Alastor and Charlie

💞 Surprisingly though, you and Sir Pentious, who had also died protecting the Hotel and your friends, had appeared in Heaven before Sera and Emily

💞 Emily had looked at you both in awe, adoring your new look; your fur and tail was more well-kept and your ears were fluffier with the skin inside being shaped like tiny pink-tinted hearts to match your hand's markings

" Y/N! Oh my goodness, you got reformed! How awesome is this?! "

💞 The angel squealed and hugged you as you chuckled nervously, still adjusting to the bright surroundings. To be honest, you expected to close your eyes and never open them again

💞 Sir Pentious held onto you from behind as you led him throughout the building and during the meeting with your Creator and the rest of his heavenly council, and you had to admit, watching Emily gleefully talk about you and your friend was nice

💞 Maybe you could get used to your new afterlife here?

💞 Maybe Emily could hang out with you even more!

💞 Maybe this could be the start of a whole new relationship? Oh no she's going full on romantic, isn't she?

[upat4amwiththemoon]

Lay me down gently

Summary: When I’m ready to fall, will you let go of my hand?

Pairing: past Natasha Romanoff x female!reader, platonic Wanda Maximoff x female!reader

Warnings: death, heavy angst, depression, wandavision didn’t happen

Word count: 1391

a/n: too dark? Too sad?

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @sayah13 @strangegardentaco @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

It’s been a year since the day Y/N lost everything. Most of the people have already done the work to start moving on, but she hasn’t been able to do that. How could she? The love of her life, the woman who she was supposed to marry and live the rest of her life with, died.

Natasha sacrificed herself to save the world.

And Y/N loves her for that, she also hates her for it. She wishes Natasha would’ve been selfish. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she hopes Natasha would’ve let Clint died, but she’ll never say that out loud. She knows Clint has the same wish. He has been trying to earn her forgiveness since that day. Even though, she has told him multiple times he doesn’t have to, that she has already forgiven him.

It’s not entirely untrue. Y/N would just prefer not to be around him. However, it’s difficult when his whole family is trying to get her to join them for family events. She doesn’t want to do that. Her family is gone, she doesn’t want another one.

During the year, Y/N has been locked up in her bedroom at the Avenger’s compound, she can’t go back to their home. It’s not her home anymore, the house never was, Natasha is the one that made it her home. She has continued working as an Avenger, doing her best to help the blipped people to get back into their lives. Besides, the crime never stops.

Her teammates have tried their best to get her out of the room, but all of them except Wanda have given up.

Wanda is a saint. She lost her home too, yet she is trying to help Y/N instead of herself. Y/N thinks she’s trying to escape the feeling of sorrow, just like she is by sleeping and rotting in her bed. She appreciates her friend, but it’s not enough. Nothing is enough.

Y/N sits in the Quinjet as the team flies towards their destination. Only a small part of the team was chosen for the mission, Steve, Tony, Wanda, and Y/N. It’s supposed to be a quick, in and out mission. They never are.

Tapping on her shoulder brings Y/N back to the present. She turns to the side to see Wanda gently smiling at her. She looks tired of trying, but Y/N knows Wanda would never stop.

“How are you?” Her voice is soft, as if Y/N would shatter if it was any louder. She might.

“Good.” A blatant lie, but Wanda accepts it with a nod. Y/N’s voice is hoarse and it breaks at every other word, it has lost the gentleness of it. She hasn’t spoken a lot during the year. She hasn’t had any reason to talk.

“Good.” Wanda nods again. Her eyes shift through the Quinjet, she’s desperately looking for something. “They’re holding these things,” she starts carefully, “like support groups, for people who lost family during the blip.” She pauses, waiting for Y/N to say something, anything. “Would you like to go with me? I could really use someone familiar there with me.”

Y/N turns to look at Wanda. She has such a hopeful smile on her face, and Y/N hates disappointing her, but they both know what her answer is going to be. “No.”

“Okay.” Wanda whispers, still holding a smile on her face. She doesn’t want her to know how affected she is by the numerous failed attempts of trying to help her friend. “Just let me know if I can help you in any way.”

Nodding, Y/N falls back into her own world, where she stays for the rest of the flight.

They land the Quinjet on top of an abandoned building. It’s supposed to be a HYDRA base that is no longer in use.

Steve checks the perimeter, returning to the other three when nothing catches his eyes. “Tony and I will go inside, you two stay up here in case someone tries to surprise us.” Y/N and Wanda nod.

Tony opens one of the vents on the roof and drops down, Steve following right behind him. The Quinjet turns invisible to hide from prying eyes.

The wind blows softly as Y/N and Wanda stand in silence. Although Wanda keeps a vigilant eye out on the perimeter, she can’t help but keep glancing at Y/N. She seems like she isn’t even there anymore, not emotionally at least.

A feeling of something wrong grows in her body. “Y/N.” She swallows. “I’m worried.”

“About?” Y/N’s eyes don’t even glance at Wanda.

“That if I don’t do something, you’ll get hurt.”

“Sometimes it’s better to do nothing.”

Wanda doesn’t agree, but she doesn’t have time to voice this, as a contained explosion rattles the concrete beneath their feet.

“The building is not empty!” Steve’s voice comes through the comms right as all the vents to the roof open and a group of HYDRA soldiers rush out.

Y/N takes out her weapons and Wanda’s eyes turn red as they start fighting the soldiers. They can hear Steve and Tony struggling as they fight inside the building. The soldiers are ruthless, and they don’t seem to be lessening no matter how much they fight them.

A groan leaves Y/N’s mouth as she gets hit by something hard to the back of her head. She shoots whoever did it, but her legs stumble closer to the edge. She shakes her head to make the fuzziness go away.

Lifting her head up, her eyes widen. The only thing she sees is a bright blast coming right towards her.

It hits her in the chest, causing her to fly over the edge.

“Y/N!” Wanda runs to the edge, pushing the soldiers out of her way.

The wind is rushing past Y/N’s ears as she falls. She can only see the sky and Wanda, who gets smaller and smaller every second, from her view the red hair looks almost like Natasha’s. There’s a smile on her face.

Natasha.

She knows her girlfriend would want her to give up, but she couldn’t be mad at her for wanting to be with her again. Y/N knows she’d be more than happy to see her face again.

As the time to act gets shorter and shorter, Wanda’s eyes turn red, readying her magic to soften Y/N’s landing. Because unexpectancy of her magic, she peeks into her mind, not on purpose, but it’s still just as clear. That fraction of a second in her mind and the blatant smile on Y/N’s face makes her pause. The pause is long enough for her eyes to turn back to normal. Everything rushes around in her mind as she tries to make sense of the situation, as she tries to get her head back to the present and just lift her up. But a feeling deep inside her makes Wanda unable to act.

A feeling she knows neither of them can escape. Unless…

She watches as Y/N falls and she wants to rips her eyes away, but she can’t do that to her friend. She has to be there for her one last time.

Wanda finally looks away after the impact. Her ears are ringing and the team is shouting over the comms but she can’t hear them. She heaves as she drops to her knees, a burst of magic leaving her body as she screams, pushing any enemy left down the building. Her eyes are turning blurry from all the tears rushing out, she isn’t sure if she’s tasting blood or bile in her mouth. Her whole body shakes from the sobs.

She did the right thing.

Her nails dig into her palms as the scene of Y/N falling down replays in her mind over and over again. She’s pretty sure someone is trying to talk to her through the comms, trying to find out what just happened.

Surely, she did the right thing.

“Y/N is dead.” Wanda gasps out, her voice weak as the words tumble out. They seem so wrong, so unfair. She screws her eyes shut, dropping her forehead against the cold roof under her.

The guilt will eat her alive.

[1toreyouapart]

What It Cost

****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***

Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.

Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now he’s back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?

CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). Cyberbullying. All smutty warnings happen later on, so I’ll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!

Part 4-Lilith

"Lilly, baby-"

"You don't get to call me that anymore." She interrupted, taking another step back.

She never should have gone to that dinner, knowing he would be there. Everything had been just fine until last night. Sure, she definitely still had some damage to deal with, but she would handle that. Now, here she was, Noah standing in her kitchen, looking like he was crawling out of his skin just being there. Her phone continued to go off, this time with texts and a couple missed phone calls. Why the fuck had she gone to that dinner?

"Lilly, ignore it. It's being handled." He pleaded with her, taking a tentative step towards her.

"Why are you here, Noah?" Her voice shook, everything she was holding back threatening to burst forth.

Noah stopped, his impossibly dark eyes frozen on hers. Lilly watched the silent battle he waged with himself, his mouth opening and closing at each attempt to speak.

"I'm sorry." He sighed, taking another tentative step toward her. "For five years I've thought about what I would say if I ever saw you again, and it all just sounds like bullshit. I don't know what else to say. Just that I'm sorry."

Lilith laughed, unamused. The apology she'd been waiting on, and it rang hollow in her ears when she finally got it. All this time and all he could say was sorry? What the actual fuck? Rage bubbled inside her, drying her tears.

"Fuck you, Noah. Fuck you and your stupid fucking apology." Lilith sniffed, another hollow laugh bursting out of her. "You're fucking sorry?"

Noah flinched, but kept his eyes trained on hers. Swirling in them was an emotion she didn't think she had ever seen before. Shame. But it was mixed with something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. What was he playing at here? And why now?

"What the fuck do you really want, Noah? Why are you really here?" She spat.

"Lilly-"

"Seriously. Five fucking years and you show up here with that bullshit?"

Lilith watched as he rubbed at his chest, his anxiety spiking. What did he think was going to happen? That she would just say all was forgiven and everything would be fine? None of this made any goddamn sense to her. Noah didn't just apologize like this. This wasn't how Noah did things. He always implied he was sorry, something she should have recognized well before things got where they had.

"Noah-"

"I have spent every goddamn day of the last five years wishing I could go back and fix it. That I could just go back in time and never do any of the shit that I did." He interrupted, a single tear slipping down his cheek. "But I can't and I fucking hate myself for what I did to you. None of this, the success, the fame, mean a goddamn thing when at the end of the day, you're not fucking home, Lilly. You're not home and I did that, and I can't fucking fix it."

Right before her she watched him crumble. Lilith watched as he dropped to his knees, clutching his chest, his breath coming in short spurts. She didn't know what to do. He had always been so calm unless he was yelling. So stoic. Now here he was, on his knees on her kitchen floor, unable to keep up the facade any longer. And as angry as she was, her heart hurt for him. It felt like it was shattering to pieces right inside of her chest and she couldn't stop it.

"I can't fucking fix it, Lilly. And I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry."

Trembling she approached him, reaching for her phone. Never before had she seen him like this, and she was helpless. What was she supposed to do here? What was she supposed to say? Should she even say anything? Do anything? Tears blurred her vision as she dialed Jolly's number, glancing up to see Sadie stepping back into the kitchen, eyes wide at the scene in front of her.

"What's happenin', Thumbelina?" Jolly's voice cut through the panic.

"Jolly? Come quick. He's snapped."

She didn't bother to wait for a response before she hung up, tossing her phone on the floor next to her. Swallowing the lump in her throat she did the one thing she could think of. Slowly, still shaking like a leaf, she dropped down in front of him, throwing her arms around him and squeezing as tightly as she could. If she were to be honest with herself she needed it just as much as he did. Something to keep her grounded and together.

"Noah?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "Breathe, okay? Just breathe. Please. Sadie? Water, please?"

"Yeah. On it."

Lilith sat back on her heels a bit, taking his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. His dark eyes were unfocused, looking everywhere but at her. As angry as she was, she didn't want him feeling like this. Because as much as she shouldn't, she still cared. And seeing him like this absolutely terrified her.

"It's gonna be okay, Noah. Jolly's on his way. He'll be here soon, okay?"

Sadie's hand appeared, holding a glass of water. Grateful she took it from her, offering it to him. When he didn't respond, she set it next to them, wrapping her arms around him again. This time she scooted closer, practically crawling into his lap, burying her face against his neck. If nothing else she could do this, even if it felt a little too much like coming home to be this close to him. She could bury that deep down later.

Noah's impossibly long arms slowly slid around her, crushing her against himself. Lilith squeezed tighter, praying Jolly got there soon. This was far too comfortable, and the realization that she could easily fall right back into him was more terrifying than anything.

"I'm sorry, Lilly. I'm so fucking sorry." He muttered, his breathing finally starting to slow down.

Jesus, fuck.

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @haylaansmi

[thatsatricky1]

𝐀𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 || ‘𝐆𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧’ Chapter V

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Abandoned. After going through hell and back together, she was left there to fend for herself. Y/n felt as though they’d left her in the dust at the facility. A facility that had taken young gifted children raising them in secret. The eight of them had been taken as children and grown up together at the facility and just when it they had the chance of escaping they made one crucial mistake, leaving her behind in the dust. One big mistake they hadn’t forgiven themselves for, and she would make sure they’d never forget it.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Nct Dream ot7 x Reader.

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Angst, Fluff, Mystery, Psychological, Supernatural, Thriller, Trauma, Weird Humor.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Angst, Abandonment, Mild fighting, Mild paranoia, Stalking, Tension.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6k+

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: This does not depict an accurate picture of Nct Dream and this is strictly fantasy/fiction for entertainment purposes.

“I apologise in advance but due to customer confidentiality I cannot answer your question.” San all but shut down the man’s attempt at asking questions about her.

“Ah that’s a shame, I was really hoping to find out. We’re old friends. Just thought I could surprise her during her stay here.” The man’s reply coming straight afterwards, his grin seemingly permanent on his face.

“Well if you two are old friends I’m sure you can just contact her.” San replied as he picked up the coffee bean bag to start filling the jar once again.

The man’s grin faltered slightly as he observed San filling the jar, hand moving to rest on the counter, fingers tapping against it lightly enough not to make a sound, grin returning as he spoke.

“Well, where’s the surprise in that? No fun if I did that. Does she come here often during her stay here?”

San looked up at the man, coffee bean bag still in hand. Internally debating with himself on the current situation he found himself in. This man did not look like anything she would entertain, then again she did say she was in town for old friends and people change over time.

“Look again, customer privacy. You can ask her yourself. The only thing I’d be able to help you with is something to drink or eat.” San had to refrain from sighing as he finally put down the coffee bean bag pointing behind himself at the menu board.

Though the young man didn’t follow his hand, staring him down slightly before nodding.

“Alright, I’ll take an iced americano to go.”

“That, I can do.” San muttered, giving a polite strained smile as he typed the order in. Unaware of the slight change in demeanor of the young man who glanced backwards towards the door.

“May I take your bags upstairs to your room ma’am?” A bell hopp asked politely as Y/n finished checking into her new hotel.

“No, but thank you for the kind offer.” Y/n denied the offer to which the man nodded, walking over to a couple who seemed to be about to finish checking in as well.

“Alright.” She sighed to herself looking at her card key number before making the trek towards her room using the elevator for comfort on the way up due to her luggage.

Not taking long to move into her hotel room humming, satisfied that she had her own large bed in her hotel room, the hotel having moved her room as the last one hadn’t been cleaned in time. The upgrade was suspicious at first but after ten minutes she’d taken the offer.

Taking a seat on her bed before letting herself fall back, flopping on her back against the soft sheets. Sighing out content with the feeling as her muscles in her back relaxed. Mind swirling and going over the events of the day.

The tension in her body came back at the thought of her interaction from Renjun, Jaemin, Chenle and especially Donghyuck today. Not noticing the drop in temperature as she thought about it.

Should she really meet up with them? To hear their side of the story? She was sure all it would do is upset her further, make her more upset as there wasn’t really much to understand about it. They’d left her in the dust that day.

The window of her hotel room fogged slightly as she remembered their faces staring back at her, almost begging to be heard out before she decided to leave them. She wished it was easy, to just leave them like they had done long ago. Her windows were starting to freeze over now.

Shaking the thoughts away she moved her hands over her face, scrubbing at it. Deciding to get up and go onto the balcony for fresh air. Standing up from the bed to face the windows only to blank at the sight in front of her.

Her emotions were messing with her abilities, which was uncommon but seemed to be happening a lot as of late. She had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with seven specific people.

Walking over in a fast pace she touched the window with her hand, slowing her emotions down to a halt before watching the frost slowly disappear as if it had never been there before. After making sure it was gone she pushed the window that was also a makeshift door open.

Eye fluttering shut as the light gust of wind blew past her, the natural wind calming her worries down. In her true element. Taking a few steps outside onto the balcony though her eyes never opened.

If she focused hard enough it felt like the light wind brushing past her ears was telling her the secrets of the world. Not even noticing the fact she’d been on the balcony for five minutes at that point.

Only snapping her eyes open when she felt the urge to, feeling something unsettling. As if someone had been watching her. Though as she scanned the streets of Seoul she could not find anything out of place. Chalking it up to her usual paranoia.

Deciding that she’d been outside long enough, as she gave the wind a whisper of a goodbye, aware of the fact she’d feel its caress against her face another time again.

Walking back into the hotel room, locking the balcony door on her way in before she looked over at her phone she’d left on the bed when she’d sat on it. Biting her lip in thought about San’s offer today.

She’d have a lot more on her plate tomorrow then she thought she would have had. Debating if she’d go to the boys at the cafe first and then meet the seven devils in disguise later or vice versa. Or maybe just ditch all of it and stay in for the day tomorrow.

“Fuck it.” She whispered to herself making her way towards her phone, grabbing it before texting a certain silver haired man of her scheduled arrival at the cafe tomorrow not having to wait a second for a response as three bubbles popped up indicating a reply would be sent her way very soon.

A soft smile made its way onto her face in anticipation of whatever Yunho had to say.

“So she is going to visit us again? Where at the store or here?” Mark asked Donghyuck and Chenle.

His arms crossed standing in front of them where they sat on one of the large couches in the living room. Not meaning to sound so interrogating, but his tone of voice, posture and the way he stood in front of them said otherwise.

“Well she only nodded, taking the offer. She never said when or where.” Chenle answered for the two of them, picking at his pants.

“I knew it was her.” Jaemin groaned in frustration from where he sat on the other couch leaning over his spread legs, face resting in his hands.

He couldn’t believe he just let her go like that, of course she wouldn’t have reacted to her own name. Everything pointed towards it being her, yet he somehow didn’t take the lead to stop her while he had the chance.

“There’s too many eyes watching during the day, so she wouldn't choose to meet us at the store unless it was closing time or after hours. I’m sure she wouldn’t like being in our apartment and space as well by herself with us seven. So it could really be either or.” Mark spoke out, as he came to realise it really could be a toss up when and where she visited them.

“Shouldn’t we just be glad she’s going to visit us at all?” Jisung piped up.

“Jisung’s right, we should probably all think about what we want to say to her instead of thinking about when and where she’ll pop up.” Renjun thought out loud agreeing with Jisung.

Jeno who’d been stuck in his own world and thoughts while absentmindedly patting Jaemin’s back from where he sat next to him finally decided to speak up as well.

“We won’t get a chance like this again easily or even at all. Let’s hope this works out.” His words had been intended to be positive and good but served to do the opposite, a slight gloomy atmosphere looming over the seven.

“How the fuck did I not just walk up to her?” Jaemin groaned out, sinking into the couch still stuck on the fact he’d let her walk right past him earlier.

“Stop whining about it Jaemin. At least she didn’t nearly fry your hand off, that was well deserved by the way Donghyuck.” Chenle started speaking to Jaemin but ended up looking over at Donghyuck, who whacked him with a pillow from the couch.

“Shut up, I didn't mean to use my ability on her.” Donghyuck grumbled out while Chenle dramatically gave me a look, offended at getting hit in the face by a soft pillow.

“You used your ability on her? I’m not sure that’s going to get you in the good books with her.” Renjun asked out unimpressed as Donghyuck raised his hands in defense.

“One, I said I did it by accident and two, she used hers back on me.” Donghyuck defended himself before continuing after noticing their worried looks at the thought of her abilities.

“It’s fine, I didn’t get burned. It was all just a warning. I called her bluff and it turned out not to be a bluff but a promise. Though something tells me it really is just a bluff or else she wouldn’t have let go of me before it could have properly started to hurt.”

“Whatever happened, make sure not to let it happen again Donghyuck, pushing her is the last thing we want to do.” Mark made sure to get across to his friend, finally uncrossing his arms in favour of sitting down next to Jaemin.

“You know she was there to see someone. I used my ability to ask her why she was there, remember by the way it was an accident. But she ended up saying she was there to collect her purse because she forgot it with a friend.” Donghyuck changed the subject, peaking everyone’s interest.

“Wait, I saw her interacting with two people in the movie room, one tall guy gave her a purse so it must have been hers.” Jaemin added on remembering the silver haired man who’d smiled obnoxiously big at her.

“How did she manage to make friends in such a short amount of time here?” Jeno asked out, slightly put off at the thought of her having friends without knowing exactly who they are.

“I think we should be asking the question why? It seemed like she didn’t want to stay long in the first place.” Chenle pointed out before adding on “I mean if they were in the movie room then they should have their names in our system. We can find out who they are.”

“Okay no, we aren’t searching up private information on our customers, plus Y/n would have our heads for snooping around her business.” Mark denied Chenle’s idea much to his dismay and grumbles.

“Whatever Y/n has going on with other people is our business, but if everything works out when she comes to us to speak, maybe she’ll open up to us about things like her new friends.” Renjun offered up a solution to everyone’s curiosity before giving Chenle a pointed look.

“That means not looking into our customer privacy files, I’ll know if you so much as peek into it Chenle.”

“It was just a suggestion.” He grumbled in response.

It was obvious everyone was eager to know who Y/n had trusted enough to involve them even the slightest bit in her life. Some were mainly curious whereas others could feel the slight sting of jealousy trying to rise from it.

Beep beep!… Beep beep!

Y/n let out a groan hearing her alarm she’d set on her phone go off, blindly reaching for the side table not bothering to look content with her body smothered in thick white hotel sheets. Debating if she really wanted to get up at all and just lay in bed all day, a luxury she could afford now every so often.

Her fingers finally felt her phone, moving to wrap her hand around it before pulling it under the blanket. Eye’s immediately squinting at the brightness of her screen even if it was on the lowest setting. Tapping the off button, silence enveloping the room, besides her breathing, muffled under the bed covers.

Her eyes slowly adjusted to the screen brightness as she unlocked her phone scrolling through the small amount of messages she’d gotten. Curious when she saw she’d been added to a new group chat. Pressing down on it to see what it was.

Yunho had created a new group chat. Nine people including himself had been added. It was all of the Atiny cafe owners. The chat so far was a messy slew of texts before it calmed down once Hongjoong decided they should all text an introduction about themselves before they’d meet Y/n today.

Y/n having to hold back a laugh seeing Wooyoung refuse to give an introduction since they’d already met, so Hongjoong replied that those who wanted to introduce or reintroduce themselves could. She scrolled through the introductions picking up certain characteristics from the way they all texted.

It made her want to go and meet the others, but at the same time her gut twisted in uncertainty. She had trust issues that were clear as day. After what happened with the only people she’d ever considered her friends, she wasn’t so fond of the idea of making new friends.

She wasn’t even sure how she’d become friends with Yunho so fast, one one hand it was peaceful but on the other hand it was scary to open up again.All she knew was that friendships always ended ugly, that’s all her experiences had shown. Y/n couldn’t fathom her friendship with Yunho turning ugly yet then again all her previous ones had.

Letting a puff escape her mouth she let go of her phone, which slid down somewhere beneath the pile of blankets before she too snuggled down deeper into the white sheets, swallowed whole by them. Wondering if she truly should show up today.

Only five minutes later she found herself untangling her body out of the hotel blankets and making her way towards the bathroom to freshen up for the day ahead of her. Making up her mind on going with the flow for the day instead of over analysis and over thinking her choices of the day.

Taking a relaxing shower before dressing in what she deemed to be a good outfit. A black crop top, with dark grey baggy ripped jeans before putting on a large light grey jumper on top. Drying her hair naturally instead of using the hotel blow dryer.

Once finished getting ready, she knew she had time to continue relaxing before she had to meet anyone so she sat down at her desk moving to grab her journal. Manicured nails twirling her pen in thought before she started writing her thoughts down on how the day would go.

After finishing she checked the time realising it was nearly approaching half twelve and knew she’d better get going or she wouldn’t have enough time to meet the rest of the Atiny cafe owners before they had their meeting around 2 p.m.

Grabbing her fluffy black purse and slinging it over her shoulder, making sure she had her key card with her as she left the room. Eyeing the do not disturb sign she’d put on the hotel door handle the minute she’d walked in yesterday before leaving.

Y/n walked at a leisure pace towards the direction of the Atiny cafe, the current hotel she’d booked herself into a bit further away from the cafe so it took twenty minutes for her to arrive at the cozy and now all too familiar cafe.

Standing in front of the cafe a smile was evident on her face seeing through the large windows what was unfolding inside. Eight young men inside all up to their own thing, some serving customers while others played around.

Though a certain cheeky friend spotted her instantly from inside, all indicated by the way his mouth flew open most likely saying something very loudly, though to her it was muted by being outside watching the man animatedly waving at her.

The door burst open before she could even walk over to it as Yunho popped his head outside a grin on his face, obviously excited at the fact she had come.

“Dove! Just in time, come on in.” Yunho greeted her, pushing the cafe door fully open up to let her in.

“Good to see you too Yunho.” She hummed out amused moving into the cafe, with the giant puppy following behind her as the door softly closed behind them, the vintage doorbell still ringing.

“You must be Yunho’s friend, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Park Seonghwa but you can call me Seonghwa.” Seonghwa greeted her first standing in front of Y/n giving her a polite bow.

“It’s nice to meet you too Seonghwa, it’s nice to finally put a face to a name.” She greeted back, giving her own polite bow in response.

“Yunho’s friend? Hey, we’re friends with her too, you know.” Wooyoung loudly whined out, bumping his shoulder into Seonghwas to move him out of the way so he could greet her too. Ignoring Seonghwa’s glare sent his way.

“Yah, Wooyoung we have customers.” Hongjoong warned out to Wooyoung’s loud voice and actions as he walked over.

“You must be Hongjoong, nice to meet you.” Y/n greeted the young man who flashed her a sheepish smile realising she’d watched him scold Wooyoung.

“It’s nice to meet you too, a friend of anyone here at Atiny cafe is a friend of mine as well.” Hongjoong greeted her in return.

“Yunho’s friend is here?” A deep voice asked out walking over. Y/n having to crane her neck upwards much like when she was talking to Yunho to look at the next person.

“She’s my friend too!” Wooyoung whined out but was cut off by Seonghwa dragging him away.

Y/n ending up getting to know the last four people Jongho, Mingi, Hongjoong and Seonhwa and having a nice conversation with them, with the added chaotic mess that was created by all eight being in the cafe at the same time.

Which only became more chaotic when they turned the cafe sign at the door to closed earlier than planned for their meeting that was soon in favour of being able to talk with Y/n beforehand.

The hour seemingly went by faster than planned as she ended up getting to know the eight of them much more, finding certain interests and characteristics of each one. Enjoying her time with them well. Though the hour passed by so fast.

“Hey, I wanted to tell you something.” San spoke up after making his way toward her while the others started filling into the staff room.

San was going to be the one to let her out before locking the door so they could have their meeting without any customers coming in, the closed sign never stopping certain customers from barging in so they usually had to lock the door in advance.

“What’s up Sannie?” Y/n naturally responded with the nickname she’d heard the others using for him causing him to falter slightly at the sudden nickname but didn’t mind it.

“Well it’s about last-” San being cut off by Hongjoong before he could bring up what happened after she’d left yesterday.

“San stop trying to catch her attention, we need to start the meeting.”

San gave Y/n a look before rubbing the back of his neck.

“We can talk about it later over the phone or when I come by again. It’s no problem. You should get to the meeting before Hongjoong goes for your head.” She joked gesturing towards the staff room.

“Are you sure?” San asked out, still rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“I’m sure it can wait, Sannie.” Y/n nodded confirming it was truly okay before the two walked over to the cafe’s entrance.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon.”

“Of course.” Y/n smiled though she thought about it wondering how many times she’d see the eight of them before moving on to continue traveling already knowing she’d overstayed her welcome in this part of the city, too many eyes were here.

With that she walked out of the cafe moving down the street, San watching before locking the cafe door to head to the back of the store to the staff room hoping he wouldn’t forget to mention to her what had happened yesterday when she’d left.

Y/n made her way down the street gazing around at those who wandered around doing whatever they wanted, or had to do. She wondered what it was like for them to be able to go about their lives without having to constantly be on the lookout, to just live in the moment.

Though her thoughts were cut off as she felt the familiar feeling of being watched, the hair on her neck standing up. Rolling her shoulders back on habit to keep calm as she continued walking at a leisurely pace all the while checking subtly for anything unusual.

The feeling of being watched was coming from behind her and she couldn’t subtly look behind herself to know what it was without it being obvious so instead she decided to pick up her pace without it looking obvious.

Taking a new path where the crowd was more dense as if to lose the unmatched pair of eyes that seemed to be focusing on her, trying to reassure herself it was just a curious kid or mother wondering who's allowed their daughter to dye their hair like hers. Though the feeling stuck much to her dismay, so she went for the next route, more eyes.

So she passed a crossing walk heading in the direction of a gas station knowing fully well there were camera’s there and a phone booth if needed. If she remembered correctly there was also a police station nearby which would be her last resort seeing as the police wouldn’t be a great idea since technically she’d been a missing person case since young.

Getting to the gas station she felt the gaze getting weaker causing her to finally turn looking in the direction she came, eyes scanning the crowd for anything out of the ordinary. Seeing a flash of black hair leaving causing her eyes to sharpen.

“Y/n?” The sudden voice snapping her gaze away from the crowd to look.

Her shoulders sagging at the sight in front of her. Somehow managing to walk to a gas station all the seven guys she hadn’t decided to meet yet were there. Mark had been the one to call her name out. Instead of replying she moved to look back at the crowd but couldn’t see the person anymore.

The seven observed her tensed state, now equally alarmed at whatever she had just been avoiding.

“Are you okay?” Jisung asked out to the white and blue haired woman, noticing how the newly dyed hair job looked good on her. Wondering if she’d done the two hair colours on purpose.

“I’m fine.” Y/n muttered back, causing Jisung to move towards her to hear her better.

“What did you say?”

Y/n slowly dragged her head away from the crowd, eyes following later as she looked at Jisung who was quite close to her now.

“I said, I’m fine.”

“It just seemed like you were a bit tense.” Jisung explained hand hovering slightly wanting to touch her but knew her boundaries.

“It’s fine, the problem is gone.” She had to refrain from snapping it back at him as she knew that the problem was fine for now but it seemed as though she’d been moving towns now faster than expected if it wasn’t just her paranoia taking over.

“Do you want us to drive you anywhere?” Jeno asked out eyebrows scrunched in worry at the thought of Y/n having just avoided someone, hoping it was just a random occurrence but didn’t feel like it was a good idea leaving her alone out here.

Y/n looked at him mulling his over in her head. As much as she wanted to deny his request it was the smarter option in case she was truly being followed by someone with bad intentions.

“We’re heading back to the store after filling up on fuel, one of us can take a detour and bring you to wherever you want to go.” Mark offered, as he pointed at where Jaemin and Renjun were at the tank stations filling up two cars.

“As much as I want to disagree with your offers, it may be a good idea. Are all of you on break?” Y/n asked out warily, not wanting them to drop her off at the hotel since they’d know where she was staying currently.

“We usually take our breaks at different times to keep everything running smoothly at the store but today we decided to take it at the same time.” Mark explained not really wanting her to know they did this in case she showed up at the store in the first place.

“So the store is closed right now?” She asked, eyes moving back towards the crowd.

“Yeah it is, do you want to come over instead of us dropping you off somewhere?” Jisung offered that solution instead, it would also be a way for them to have their talk as well.

Y/n gave them a look, wondering if it was the best time to come over, she hadn’t really thought it over when she wanted to visit them today. But it was better to get it over with sooner or later anyway.

“Alright, but don’t let this get to your heads.” She warned out after agreeing with Jisungs idea. Though she warned them Jisung couldn’t help but smile as he nodded, gesturing for her to follow them to the cars.

“Who’s paying for the gas today- Oh, hey Y/n.” Renjun spoke up when he noticed everyone coming over only to switch up when he saw that she was with them trying to keep his confusion at bay.

Jaemin hurriedly put the gas nozzle away once he heard Renjun speak out her name moving over to check. Inside the car both Chenle and Donghyuck were oblivious to what was happening as they fought playful in the back seats about a random thing as per usual.

“Someone pay for the gas so we can go.” Y/n advised as her hand moved up to her face rubbing the area between her eyebrows.

“On it, I’m on it.” Mark fumbled to grab his wallet out of his pocket while moving away to go inside the gas station to pay so they could leave. Usually they’d play rock, paper, scissors to see who’d be paying.

“So what brings you… right.” Jaemin tried picking up a conversation with Y/n awkwardly picking at his nails as he watched her open one of the car doors getting into the back. Having picked the empty one.

Y/n leaning against the leather seat, letting her head rest on it, closing her eyes for a second before feeling eyes on her. Due to the recent situation she opened her eyes to turn her head looking out the window only to see Chenle and Donghyuck staring at her from inside the other car, mouths hung open.

“Losers.” She muttered to herself suppressing a smile in favour of closing her eyes again to take in the peace before it would be interrupted again.

Outside the car Jaemin and Renjun turned their attention over to Jeno and Jisung while they waited for Mark to pay for the gas.

“As much as I love the fact Y/n is here, what is she doing her at the gas station?” Renjun asked the two in front of them.

“We don’t know either though I assume she was being followed unwantedly at that, so we offered to drop her off somewhere.” Jeno started explaining causing the two to tense looking around.

“But then I offered that she could come with us to the store instead.” Jisung chimed into the conversation.

“And she agreed?” Jaemin asked out, confused yet satisfied with the fact she decided she felt safer with them then alone.

“That makes me think something more serious is up.” Renjun thought out loud, sparing a glance at the car Y/n had climbed into, worried on her behalf.

“We’ll figure it out when we get back, come on.” Mark had heard the end of their conversation as he slipped his wallet back into his pocket gesturing for everyone to get into the two cars.

“And whoever was in the cars on their way here stay in those cars on the way back.” He sternly added on not that Y/n had a few of them arguing like children outside the cars on who got to go in which car.

Get a few noises of complaint but everyone listened as they got into their respected cars they’d come with. Jeno had to hold back a few curses as he got into the driver seat of the opposite car Y/n was in with Mark following getting into the passenger side.

Renjun pleased as he got into the drivers side of the car Y/n was in with Jaemin following suit getting into the passenger seat. He’d done so on the way there claiming he was gonna be the passenger princess on the way to the gas station.

Jisung made his way to the back seat, opening the door as Y/n opened her eyes again to look at him. Jisung silently watched her debating if he was allowed to get in. She only raised a brow silently nodding at the seat as if to tell him to get in. Jisung did not waste another second as he got in and buckled his seatbelt.

“Uh, your seatbelt.” Jisung mentioned out quietly causing Y/n to grab it and buckle in not wanting to cause another scene.

With everyone in both cars, Jeno drove off first followed by Renjun.

The ride was silent at first before Jaemin turned in his seat up front in the passenger side to look at the backseats.

“I almost recognised you yesterday, but you didn’t react to me calling out your name so I thought it was someone else.” Jaemin spoke out to her wanting to get it off his chest since yesterday at missing the opportunity to interact with her.

“That was the whole point, I didn’t want any of you to recognise me. I was there to grab my purse, that's all.” She responded truthfully and quite bluntly, not seeing a point in sugar coating it.

Jaemin had to bite back questions on who the two guys were that she’d been interacting with as of recent and instead just hummed at her answer before trying to come up with something to say not wanting the conversation to turn stale.

“You dyed your hair, I didn’t take you for someone who would like two colours.” He mentioned the fact it was mainly blue, though the top was pitch white.

“I didn’t have enough blue dye, don’t ask why.” Y/n internally cringing at the thought of them knowing how she’d dropped the blue dye bottle spilling it nearly everywhere. Jaemin only tilted his head slightly in curiosity at this.

“Whatever the reason, it still suits you.” Renjun complimented her, looking briefly at her through the rear view mirror before paying attention to the road again. Only getting a hum as a response from her.

“You never got to tell me more about the beach.” Jisung reminded Y/n who in turn hummed almost hearing the familiar sound of the waves washing onto shore at its mention.

“Did you end up going to the beach, Jisung?” She asked instead, curious to know what it had been like for him.

“Yeah, we went a lot. We haven’t gone as much lately but I will never forget the first time we went.” Jisung hummed out remembering what it was like.

Y/n should have asked something else because now she was envisioning what had been like for the seven of them going to the beach for the first time. Their smiles, the excitement that would have most likely been in the air. Without her.

“If I could, I'd live at a beach house, so that every morning I could watch the sun rise and set. Be able to feel the sand between my toes and the coolness of the waves crashing against my ankles whenever I wanted.” Y/n blurted out not knowing why she was telling them, but it felt good to be able to say it out long.

“You could.” Jisung tried to make her explore the idea but all he got in return was a lost look in her eyes and a slightly down turned smile. His heart aching at just that sight alone, something he didn’t want to see again if he could help it.

“It’s just a dream Jisung, I won’t ever be able to live by the beach, let alone stay there for more than a week at most.” Her voice shutting down his idea.

“Why not? You’re free now, nothing can hold you back.” Jisung questioned, eyebrows furrowing in confusion on why she thought of it as some untouchable dream. He wanted her to be able to achieve all her dreams, and if possible with him and the boys by her side too.

“Because no matter what I do, the facility will always be two steps behind me. If I stop they’ll catch up to me. They won’t stop looking for me.” She replied and absentmindedly moved her hand out to his face, smoothing away the worry from his eyebrows, a habit she’d done before back at the facility when he was overthinking.

Jisung’s eyes closed in comfort at said touch. He remembered when they’d been at the facility and her touch had always been comforting. His own personal sense of comfort that he knew would always be there for him no matter what. It made a pang of guilt wash across him realising she hadn’t had that comfort in return the year she was stuck in there by herself.

“We’d protect you.”

Y/n did not reply to Jaemin’s confident words, instead slowly let her hand drop from Jisungs face and looked out the backseat window watching the world blur past them. Jaemin held back a sigh wondering what was so important that the facility was trailing her so hard, sure the first year they had been followed relentlessly but these days it was so infrequent. It made him wonder what happened to her in the facility, then again his chest tightened at the thought of what they could have done to her.

“Tell me when we get there.” Y/n ended the conversation as she faced away and laid her head properly on the head rest, closing her eyes not wanting to speak anymore until they got to the store.

Jaemin and Renjun shared a glance at each other before Renjun took one of his hands off the wheel briefly to turn on the radio making sure it was on a quiet volume.

Chapter four || Chapter five || Chapter six (coming soon…)

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[leggerefiore]

If you still want ideas for Volo, here’s one.

Volo’s a villain and people rightfully oppose him, but that negative public image would also apply to his lover too.

You (his partner) probably aren’t treated as badly as he is, but it’s clear that people don’t want to associate with his you, either because they’re against Volo or because they’re scared of him.

How does Volo react to this treatment of you?

(This is also probably a fun prompt to explore with other villains, but you can just stick to Volo if you’d like.)

did some others i thought might be interesting to explore

cw: implied violence, isolation, slight angst

characters: Volo, Cyrus, Colress

💫Volo📜

⭐️ There were similarities between you both that he would begrudgingly admit since the beginning. Perhaps, that was what originally had attracted him to you, aside from the obvious potential of you standing in the way of his plans. The lands of Hisui was isolate and distant, with many groups living among each other with disdain. Outsiders were often brought in with extreme scrutiny and judgement. Especially with a situation as odd as yours. His heart stung in a familiar manner when he saw you sitting alone, rejected by the Galaxy Team and both clans. He knew his intentions were not the purest, but there was a small part of him wishing to give the treatment that he had never received. These similarities would lead to him sharing his ideals. While he would have preferred working alone, you were completely entranced with his promise of a new world without all the sorrow of this one.

⭐️ So he would notice the little things. Judgement was a silent thing, after all. You had been forgiven for everything – another Survey Corps member and that professor carefully explaining your headspace and claiming manipulation. It hurt the blond to see those who so casually cast you aside and judged you harshly take you back in. The harshness towards you would never subside. You attempted to hide it from him, not wanting to spur up his intense feelings, but Volo was more than acquainted with how to go around undetected. He observed everything closely around you. The ways the inhabitants of the village often remarked you with scorn. The Hero of Hisui seemed like an empty title. Rumours of how you had actually aided him clearly spread far and deep. He felt rage at their expressions – something so known and despised by him. The looks he had always experienced in his life.

⭐️ He knew there was little he could do. The blond had gone into hiding after everything, knowing that many would want him dead for what he attempted to do. What he still had the full intentions of finishing. He could only watch and feel his passion reignite with a new vigour. This world… It was far too painful. Not only for him. He needed to find a way to call upon Arceus again. If anyone dared a raise a hand toward you, however, he would definitely intervene. A tall, terrifying blond man would suddenly emerge from some place nearby and restrain them. He will not stand for any true violence towards you. The isolation towards you is nothing new, at least. Everyone had been suspicious of you since your arrival, and now it had only increased. He simply would offer you to fully abandon your life in the Galaxy Team and truly join him. Volo figures that this is the best ending for you both.

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ He had been blinded entirely by his grandiose goals. His new world – He had been so close. So close. Yet, it slipped through his fingers. This horrid world around him had one last final attack on him – to deny him even an escape from it. Staying in the Distortion World to rot away for the rest of eternity had been perfectly fine by him, but the thought of you, his beloved, doing the same sickened him. He knew how desperately you supported him – finding the idea of a world without horrible emotion more appealing than this reality. Your support spurred him to work faster, desperate to make a world where you both would finally know peace. Some small part of Cyrus was concerned with what would make you also agree with his vision, but the majority of him was simply relieved that you would not fight him on this and have your full support.

☄️ He would take notice quickly. The way people avoid you – Old friends and acquaintances cutting contact with little hesitation. The loneliness that began to surround you. He had made the decision to go back to the normal world with you, despite the trials and tribulations to certainly follow. The way people in the general public would shoot glares at you – One woman even attacking you and claiming that her brother had been brainwashed by Galactic. He felt those bitter emotions that he wanted nothing more than to completely eradicate. It was far too cruel. He should have been the target of their ire – not you. You clearly were a victim, driven by love for your partner, not thinking straight. That was what that champion had claimed, but it appeared that had not at all become the common sentiment. Many remarked you as a horrible person, ready to force everyone into a situation that none of them wanted. He could only clench his jaw.

☄️ He acts without hesitation. In any situation in which he is around, and you experience scorn, he glares at whoever dared do such a thing until they leave. Anyone who even dares think to enact physical violence towards you will be shown just how surprisingly fit the Galactic Boss is. The idea of someone hurting you in any way is enough to drive him mad, and he cannot forgive himself for his shortcoming there himself. He had wanted you to be uninvolved in his plans for exactly this reason, yet he allowed himself the indulgence of your support. Part of him wants to curl away back in the Distortion World and give up in everything, but the other half feels more driven to protect you. He would take responsibility. It was all he could do. Maybe… Maybe you both could move away from Sinnoh, but where would you go? Cyrus's mind begins to wander. If he was forced to be in this world… Where did he want to be? The two of you would eventually have a long discussion about this.

🥼Colress🛸

🧪 Had you been exactly supporting Team Plasma? Not really. Colress had not been himself, despite being called the leader of it. Part of him was fully aware of Ghetsis using him, but the other half simply did not care, as long as he got to also work on his research unabated. You supported that – So understanding towards his strong interest in bonds and how to bring out the full potential in pokemon. Colress knew he could put up with whatever madness Ghetsis drug him through, so long as he had that. But… Well, he knew that it would become more and more difficult for you to fully support what he was doing. Your upset over the Opelucid City incident, ever present in his mind. But, in the end, you had supported him, and he was still the acting head of Team Plasma.

🧪 Which meant… Even after the remains of Team Plasma had faded out, and he had disbanded the group, you found yourself under the harsh judgement of those around you. Colress paid attention to you closely after it all, worrying about the worst possible scenarios. Friends seemed less inclined to be around you following it, and most acquaintances had completely cut you out – not wishing to be connected with a so-called member of Team Plasma. You had not been. Colress would not have let you, but how much time you had spent at his side had only encouraged the thought. So, you had people yell at you about having their pokemon stolen or the act of terrorism on Opelucid. A few even dared tried to attack you physically, wanting you to hand over pokemon you did not have. It was all quite traumatic. Colress hated every single second of it.

🧪 He refused to let any of it happen in front of him. His work with the International Police following has cleared him from any possible arrests, and you had been determined to almost be entirely uninvolved. Even though that had been announced, it was clear those affected wanted an easy vessel for their anger. Colress much would prefer they target him over you, but he supposed they were just taking anyone they could. He acts to deter anyone with malicious intentions quite often. A cold glare and a hand on one of his pokeballs is usually enough to scare anyone off, but not always. If someone feels inclined towards violence, he shows a surprising amount of strength and catches them. He really will not accept any horrible treatment toward you. A request to work with a certain Alolan organisation could not have come sooner. You two would be out of Unova, and this would all seem like a bad dream.

[yandere-paramour]

Chapter Seven

After breakfast you started to feel a little stronger. You had some food in your stomach, the cloudiness and pain in your head cleared, and your limbs felt a little easier to lift. You weren’t at 100%, but it was almost comparable.

You sat obediently in your chair as Atalanta took the plates to the sink. There was no point in trying to run right now. She had ears like a hawk, looking back with a watchful eye any time you even breathed a little too hard. Your legs were still wobbly, and you would never make it to the door. it wouldn’t be feasible.

“Now, Darling,” She came back, placing a hand on your head and gently smoothing down your hair, “I have the whole day to spend with you, my love. What would you like to do?

You wanted to escape, but you weren’t going to tell her that, so you just stayed quiet, pretending that the tiles on the floor were arranged in the most interesting pattern in the world.

A little frustrated by your lack of response, she knelt in front of you, putting one hand on your knee, gripping firmly. With the other hand, she used her fingertips to slowly tilt your chin up until you looked her in the eye.

“Darling, I know you’re still adjusting, but you cannot ignore me when I am speaking to you. It is rude and I won’t tolerate it,” She scolded you like you were an errant child, and your face burned.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“Forgiven, Darling. Just remember for next time,” She strokes your cheek a few times and you resist the urge to lean into her touch for comfort after your chastisement, “How about I give you a tour? This is your new home, after all.”

A tour? You visibly perk up. Mapping out the layout of this blasted apartment will make it ten times easier if you ever need to hide or set a trap or whatever.

“Sure!” You say, trying to seem happy and excited.

Atalanta looks a little startled by your enthusiasm, but she quickly controls herself and smiles back, holding out her hand in a way that looks both effortless and well-practiced, “Lovely. If I may escort you?”

You appreciate her giving you the illusion of choice, but you know that unless you either want to fall or make her angry, you are going to have to take her hand. You take it, using her strength to pull yourself to your feet. She barely reacts; she seems to be much stronger than you thought, her muscles barely flex when pulling you up.

“Let’s start here then go upstairs. First up, the kitchen and dining room,” She laughs, showing you the rooms you both are in and can see.

It is a pitiful attempt at a joke, but the way she says it is both awkward and endearing. You crack a smile, and she lights up. She explains that her chef comes over in the early evenings to make dinner and prep things for breakfast, but she makes it a point to tell you that you are welcome to cook/make/bake anything you like, as long as you be careful. She does not want to see you hurt, she explains, and she would like even less to see you hungry.

You know what the living room looks like, and the next room is a small bathroom, so you spend little time on those. Down the lefthand hallway are two rooms across the hall from each other. Atalanta unlocks and opens the door to show you her training room. Every surface below six feet off the ground is padded. The walls have those blue squishy pads you’re used to seeing on the walls of high school gyms for wayward basketball players, and the floor is covered in those spongy pads you would usually associate with small children. When she leads you in, you like the way they squish and give under your toes.

“Is this your… gym?” You ask

“Of sorts. In the mornings before work, I like to come down here to exercise and practice martial arts.”

“You practice by yourself?” This could potentially be important information.

“Sometimes, but I have a trainer who comes a few mornings a week to spar with me. I can only practice kicks and punches on that for so long,” She gestures behind her to the rubber man-shaped dummy standing stoically in the corner, “I have a tackling dummy too but it’s not nearly as fun alone.”

“That’s… cool?” You stammer. Was that a threat?

“Come, we still have much to see. Do you like flowers?”

It is when she is ushering you out of the training room that you remember you haven’t seen the room across the hall yet. You reach for the doorknob and she catches your wrist in a firm grips. You tug away instinctually, but in your weakened state, she has you in a vice grip.

“Atalanta-” You start.

“If you truly want to see that room, I will show it to you, but it will not hold good memories. I prepared that room to be one of contemplation.

“C-Contemplation?” You must’ve looked a little scared because she softens her grip.

“When you misbehave, this room will be a form of minor punishment. You will be required to stay in here a number of hours corresponding to whatever infraction you committed. Knowing this, do you still want to see?”

You shake your head no, and she releases your wrist, pulling you close to her and wrapping her arms around you. You stay stiff, not wanting to relax into her.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, Darling. It’s just going to be difficult to adjust these first few weeks,” She pats your head, “Come, let me show you the terrace. If it’s not too cold, we can stay out there a while.”

Atalanta was right; the terrace was lovely. It was divided into two areas, enclosed with white walls almost six feet high. If you stood on a chair, you maybe could’ve seen over them, but as you suspected, you were high up, at least 10 stories. One area was a sort of sitting area. Comfortable cushions rested on a wooden base, and multicolored flowers surrounded them, making a sort of cute nook to rest in. The other side was dedicated mostly to plants, bushes, and even small trees. It was a veritable garden up here, complete with small lamps strewn over the top of the wall. You guessed they would provide cute ambient lighting at night. 

Atalanta was amused by your shock, “Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” You said in awe, “How much did this cost?”

She waved your query off, “Irrelevant. What matters is the beauty. I often come out here in the evenings to read and relax.”

“That sounds amazing,” You give her a genuine smile.

“I’ll have to take you out sometime. The flowers are switched out with seasonal varieties so they are always blooming. It remains pretty year-round. Like you.”

You blush, turning away from her, “L-Let’s go upstairs.

Upstairs is more predictable. There is your Atalanta’s master bedroom and bathroom, along with two other unused rooms. Atalanta’s office doubles as the library; it is a very large room with an entire wall being glass, letting in lots of natural light. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves cover the walls, and you even recognize a few titles. It seems Atalanta has kept every book she’s ever read since college. It is so comfortable and clean, everything in you screams to grab a book, sink down into one of the plush chairs, and read for the rest of the day.

Next door to the library is a medium-sized screening room. When you enter, you gasp. You thought only rich people in mega-mansions had their own movie theaters but clearly Atalanta does. The largest grey couch you’ve ever seen dwarfs the room, facing a large projector screen. There are beanbags in the corners, ready to be propped right in front of the movie.  A stack of folded blankets is in a basket by the couch.

“I do not get a lot of chances to watch movies, but sometimes I work at home and work in here,” She tells you, “What do you like to watch?”

You can barely think, “I-I’m not sure?”

“That’s okay. How about we relax and watch a movie after dinner tonight? I can have some sweets brought up if that would please you.”

Your eyes light up, “Sure!”

The rest of the day is spent rotating between Atalanta’s study, the terrace, and the bedroom. You still feel tired, and soon after reading for an hour or so in the study you begin complain that you feel sleepy. She walks you to the bedroom and puts you down for a nap; you close your eyes obediently, curling into the warm blankets. After 15 minutes, she evidently judges you to be asleep and leaves, heading somewhere else in the apartment.

You sit back up; now you can think in peace.

You cycle back through the tour in your mind, creating a map. If everything goes to plan, you will be able to slip out sometime tonight. Atalanta slept like a rock, and you tested it last night, starting with a small wiggle and working up to fully sitting up in bed. She only moved when you sat up, and even then she only rolled over. 

She promised a movie in the screening room tonight. If you could get her distracted by the movie, she would forget to give you the sleeping drug. She might even forget to turn on any security measures for the apartment. Once she fell asleep herself, you could inch yourself out of her hold, steal a pair of her shoes, and slip out the door. If you left in the very early hours of the morning, you’d have a large window of time before she even woke up, let alone tried to find you. 

Laying back down, you tried to conserve your energy. You truly were tired, and of your plan to be awake all night was ensuing, you would need as much rest as you could get.

[deansapplepie]

I don’t believe in colors…(Soulmate Au)

Summary: What could possibly happen when two people that grew up with no example of a healthy relationship are destined soulmates?

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x female! Reader

Prison Era

Genre: Angst, Strangers to Soulmates to Enemies to Friends (?), kind of neutral/happy ending.

Warnings: angst, violence, mentions of abusive relationships, toxic behavior, swearing, mentions of death, small brief mention of sexual abuse attempt(not by Daryl), mentions of domestic violence against children and woman. (Let me know if I forgot anything)

Word count: 7,111

A/N: When I had the idea for this, I didn’t think it would become so angsty as it is. The characters just took control of the story and this is the result. I tried to soften in the end, but I didn’t see any other way of finishing this one shot if not like this to be coherent to the characters evolution.

In the world you lived before there were a thing that they called soulmates. Everyone had one and should find in their lives, and how would you know if you find your soulmate? Well… you couldn’t see colors until you met the person destined to you.

Sometimes people would become tired of waiting to meet their soulmates, so they would settle with a person they liked but wasn’t their destined one, and that is what you thought happened to your parents. They never admitted it clearly to you, they told you fairytales about soulmates when you were little and they always told you they were soulmates, but their relationship told you otherwise. You thought they were trying to feed that fantasy on you.

You’ve seen in your friends’ house before, how their parents were. They had heart eyes at each other almost always, treated each other good and were really partners. Not that you believed soulmates didn’t have their differences, you knew they fought like every other couple, but it was never so intense like it was back at your home.

Your parents would fight every single day, over stupid things or things from their past that they should have already forgiven each other. Both your parents had a short temper, your father would punch, kick and break everything at home, while your mother would provoke him and elicit more fight between them. As soon as you could, you left home, trying to leave everything behind. They were good parents, they loved you and all, but their toxicity against each other spilled over you all the time and you couldn’t help not feeling emotionally involved in it. Even when you lived alone you couldn’t help but jump when you heard any slightly high noise thinking it was you father having another outburst, and you didn’t even lived with them anymore. So, because of them you didn’t believe soulmates were real, even though you had been proven by many people that it indeed was real. In your mind, you also felt like you were cursed and just like your parents you weren’t destined to find your soulmate.

The world now was very different than it used to be before, there were dead people that in reality were undead walking around everywhere and killing the living. When the outbreak happened, you were alone. You tried contacting your family but they never answered the phone. Now you think that by that time they were probably already dead. In the months following the end of the world you had been in many different groups, finding friends in some, just to lose them to the dead ones or for the sons of bitches alive ones. Other times you ended up in groups that had no good people and which you didn’t want to be related, so you’d escape in the middle of night and try to distance yourself the maximum from them.

With the end of the world, you would never find your soulmate, not that you wanted to. You didn’t believe on this shit anymore. Now you were alone, you’d rather stay like this than to start liking people and have they dying, or to be with the wrong people again.

You were now in a small town in Georgia, you didn’t even know the name of the city, but it didn’t matter anymore. You were looking for some place you could stay, maybe a night or two… who knows. You found a small market that still had some supply, so you started taking everything that you think could be useful and that you could carry by yourself. You were in the back of the market when you heard the front door opening, you hid behind a shelf and listened to a man and a woman talking. You tried to guide yourself by their voices so you would not encounter them and leave silently. You had your gun in your hand, you were bypassing the shelf when between one corridor and the other you came face to face to a brunette woman and an asian man. You hold your gun in their direction and they pointed theirs at your.

“I don’t wanna problem. Just took some supplies and I’m leaving.” You told them.

“Who are you?” The woman asked.

“I’m no one. It doesn’t matter, we’re not seeing each other again after today.” You answered while analyzing both of them and all the ways you could escape them.

“How can we know if you’re not gonna attack us?” The man asked.

“I’d already have attacked you if I wanted, I hid because I wanted to leave without being noticed. It’s not like I can trust you’re not attacking me too.” They didn’t seem like bad people, but you could see they were as cautious as you were.

“You can go, as long as you don’t try anything against us, we’re not going to attack you.” The woman said and she and the guy let you pass, still pointing the gun at you.

You walked backwards still pointing the gun at them, till you reached the front door. When you were going to open the door and leave you saw a small herd of deads coming on the street.

“Fuck.” You cursed going back in their direction. “Go to the back, there are many deads coming.”

They looked to see if it was true and went to the back of store with you. You hid behind the shelves sometimes checking to see if they were still passing. Your plans of staying around for more than one day could be forgotten it wasn’t safe around here.

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” The woman asked you.

“Yes, I do.” You lied.

“If you don’t we have a place, maybe you could come with us. You just need to answer some questions.” She said, You didn’t even know each other’s names, why were she trusting you that they had a place.

“We have a group, there’s more people. It’s safer.” The young man completed.

“I don’t do groups anymore.” You answered, finding a shelf of condiments very interesting. “I’m better alone.”

“We have fences, and walls. It’s well protected where we are. Our group have survived well since the beginning.” She said.

“Lucky you, everybody I met along the way is dead and the ones that aren’t, I wish they were.” You answered dryly.

“I’m Maggie.” The woman said, You didn’t want to know their names, you just wanted to go. “He’s Gleen.”

You didn’t say anything, it made the couple start to think about everything that might have happened to you and your groups so you would be like this. Meanwhile, you thought that maybe, a name would not be so harmful. It was just a word after all.

“Y/N.” You said.

Should you trust people again? Should you be close to people again and hurt when they die and leave you alone in this world one more time? What if they were like the others?

“How many walkers did you kill?” Glenn asked you, and you got a little confused.

“Walkers?” You asked back, what the hell was this?

“The dead people walking around.” He clarified.

“I don’t know, do you keep a track on that? Would never be able to count.” This question was an absurd who would count it and remember the numbers days after.

“How many people did you kill?” He asked you again. What?

“2, maybe 3.” You answered. “These questions are getting weird.”

“Why?” Maggie asked you, this was an important one.

“One man tried to hurt my friend, I had to do it to save her, but well… she died either way. The other two, was a group that I found when I was alone, they took me in, but they weren’t good people. Those men they… tried…” You looked at Maggie, you didn’t know why you were giving all this details to them, but she was a woman, she would understand. “… you know. I killed one of them trying to escape, the other one was hurt and unconscious when I left, so I don’t know if he counts as one of the people I killed.”

“Come with us.” She said, Rick was probably going to be mad at them, but something told her that she needed to take you in, and if Maggie made a decision Glenn trusted her. “If you don’t like it there, you can leave.”

You looked at them, and you didn’t believe on that shit of trust your inner voice or feel people energy, but in fact your inner voice said you should go with them and you felt they had a good energy. Maybe… it was instinct, well, on instincts you could believe.

“Ok, I’m going with you. Don’t try to keep me there if I don’t want to, and if you do, know that’ll find my way out. No matter how.” You said, you wanted this to be a warning to them, but they just saw someone that was hurt by the end of the world just like them and that because of this had some trust issues, just like them. They couldn’t blame you, they didn’t trust people easily too.

“Perfect. We’re getting what we need and then we’re going.” Maggie said enthusiastically.

They asked for your help and you helped them, between all the things they caught there was baby formula, so apparently their group had a baby. When you had got everything they needed, you stored it on their car and you entered in the back seat while the couple went on the front.

The ride was silent most of the time, except for the couple chatting all the time. At some point, Maggie decided to make a conversation with you.

“So, Y/N… have you found your soulmate yet?” You almost rolled your eyes, why everyone was so obsessed with it?

“Does it look like I did?” You couldn’t contain the bitter answer leaving your lips as a natural answer. “He’s pretty much dead already, if he exists. I don’t believe in soulmates.”

“Well, Glenn and I are soulmates, so you should believe if we exist.” She answered trying to convince you. Well, you believed people before and they were lying.

“ I can’t see through your eyes, and as I can’t see… I don’t believe in colors, in the same way I don’t believe in soulmates.” You answered as if it was the most logical thing, if you can’t see, it doesn’t exists.

“You sound just like our friend… he doesn’t believe on all of this too. Maybe you’ll be good friends.” Glenn commented from the driver seat. You had the feeling you’d want to leave that place soon enough if everybody was like them… otherwise you’d melt your heart again, and you’d suffer again. You could be a bitter person, but you also enjoyed having good people around you. You didn’t have many friends in the old world, but you had the best and they were just as pleasant as these people sounded to be, You didn’t want to have your hopes high.

The rest of the trip was silent on your side, they didn’t try to push you to talk again, and you were glad about it, because you didn’t want to get more involved than you already were by going with these people. When you arrived, you discovered that their place was a prison. Indeed a good place for a group to build something, but for how long? Was it really safe? The gates opened and the car drove up the highest point in the prison, stopping near one of the blocks.

Glenn and Maggie left the car, and you followed them grabbing your backpack. People started to gather around and one man came furiously in your direction. “What did I tell you about bringing strangers?” He throw the words at the couple.

“She was alone Rick and she saved us from a herd.” Maggie said. No, you didn’t. You just let them know there was a herd coming, what they did after that was their choice.

“We made her the questions, she can be helpful and she’s not a danger for us.” Glenn said.

“Well, that we’ll see…” the Rick guy told eyeing you as if he stared long enough he’d be inside your mind and see your true intentions. “Take everything that can be used as weapon from her, we’ll have her separated from us.”

“Wait! Nobody said I’d be unarmed here.” You protested giving a step backwards. “I’m not staying in a place I am outnumbered and with no weapon.”

“These are the rules to stay, we can’t trust you just now. Once we know you’re reliable you’ll have your guns back.” Rick said making it clear there was no negotiation.

“Fine, so I’m leaving. I didn’t want to come to start with, these two convinced me. I’ve been on my own all this time, I don’t need this.” You finished moving your finger around to indicate the prison.

“Wha’s goin’ on?” You heard a raspy voice coming from behind you in the same moment you took your backpack and turned around to go to the exit.

When you turned around there happened to be a tall man approaching the group, wearing sleeveless shirts showing his well built arms and carrying a crossbow, and when your eyes met his, you knew you were fucked. The world around you became bright and colorful all at once, the sun light didn’t affect you much before, but now it was almost blinding with all the light and colors. You put your hand on your forehead trying to protect your eyes and both of you said one single word.

“Fuck.”

Everyone around, or at least the ones that had already experienced it, knew what was happening and they couldn’t be more in shock. Maggie felt as if she was a prophet that made a divination that you had something to do with them. Glenn couldn’t believe in his eyes, in the whole world these two people with the same beliefs, really? Hershel had a knowing smile on his face, he just wanted to go to the archer and tell him ‘I told you so, son’, but in this moment he couldn’t do it. You came out from the daze you were in, a million thoughts running on your head.

“Yeah, that’s it. I’m definitely leaving.” You said looking to the man that had some intensity in his blue eyes that you couldn’t quite read, and you didn’t want to.

You started to go down the hill on the direction of the gates, everyone was shocked and didn’t understand your reaction. Soon, you were stopped by Maggie that ran and jumped in front of you.

“You can’t go.” She said, and you laughed dryly.

“You said no one would keep me here if I didn’t want. So, yes, I can.” You replied trying to continue going by walking to the other side.

“You found your soulmate, you can’t just live like this.” She said, and this time you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Do you have any idea of how many people wish they could find their soulmates?” Oh, you had an idea.

“I can, and I’m leaving.” You replied. “This soulmate bullshit isn’t real and the colors, they’re useless, I lived well enough without them.”

“I understand, you’re panicking. I panicked too when I first met Glenn, but look we’re here now.” Maggie told you about her experience trying to convince you.

Soon Glenn, showed by Maggie’s side to try to reason with you. “Are you going to lose your chance of love?”

“Love is a lie, and you’re stupid if you believe on it.” You spat the words and opened you way between him and Maggie continuing your path.

Daryl stayed glued at his spot, no reaction came from him. He never believed on soulmates, his parents obviously weren’t soulmates, and he never thought that him a Dixon, was worthy of find his. He didn’t even think he had one, if soulmates were real, and he new they weren’t. All the group observed the situation and had no idea on what to do. Glenn and Maggie tried their best to convince you to stay, but they weren’t successful. Against his own beliefs on what was better for the group, Rick followed you and when you were almost at the gate he stopped you.

“Stay.” He said blocking your way to the gate.

“Now, you want me to stay? Just because apparently I’m your friend’s soulmate. Tell him, he can shove the colors up in his…” Rick interrupted you before you could complete what you were going to say.

“Stay, you can keep your weapons. Whatever. If Glenn and Maggie trust you, I’m going to trust you too.” He insisted, how could he change his mind completely? If he trusted the couple so badly he would have accepted you right away.

Even though Rick never had a soulmate, he knew they were real, because he saw how his parents were. He really loved Lori, his late wife, but they weren’t soulmates. He couldn’t just let you go away and let Daryl lose his chance on happiness. The archer deserved to be happy, he was a good man and had become a good friend of his, and he couldn’t let his stubbornness, and yours, get on Daryl’s Happiness way.

“Ok, I think. I’m going to stay some days and see if I stay here or not.” You replied after a moment of thinking between kicking his balls and running away, and staying here with your not-soulmate and all these people.

“Good. Follow me, I’m going to introduce you to the others. I’m Rick.” He told you while you went back up the hill.

“Y/N.” You simply answered, he was not nice with you in the beginning, you’re not going to be nice to him too.

When you were back up there, he started presenting you all the people. You got to know Hershel, an elderly man that was Maggie’s father and the doctor of the group. You met Carol a sympathetic short haired woman. Then, Rick turned to the blue eyed man that happened to be your ‘soulmate’.

“This is Daryl Dixon. Daryl, this is Y/N” he introduced you to each other, to all the others you had greeted, used the education your parents gave you, they may had been a shitty couple, but they were really good parents. But HIM? You didn’t move one muscle on your face to try being more pleasant, neither did he. He grunted in response, so you grunted back at him.

While that Rick observed both of you and thought that this was going to be a long road. After your grunt exchange with the archer, you followed Rick inside where they had a kind of kitchen. Since you were staying there you opened you backpack and left all the food you had stored in your backpack for the next days. They wouldn’t last too long anyway. A young boy came running to Rick and called him Dad, well the angry man from earlier really had something to protect. He presented the kid as Carl.

“If you want, I can help him with school things. I used to work with kids.” You said, and that was true. It was the last thing you thought you’d ever do in your life, but you ended up working with kids, and you did love the little monsters.

“Ugh… it would be good, but we lost all the school books he had.” He said scratching the back of his neck, part because of the book situation and the other part because he didn’t want to trust his kid to you, but he also wanted to make you feel part of the group so you and Daryl could understand each other.

“Maybe we can look at some school if we find something.” You commented.

Then a young blonde girl came from a gate that took to another part of the compound, carrying a baby on her arms. You learned she was Maggie’s sister and the baby was Judith, Rick’s newborn daughter.

“She’s so cute!” You said, you couldn’t resist to a beautiful baby. You weren’t comfortable with them, but you couldn’t help it when you saw little Judith. “Can I carry her a little bit? Never thought I’d see a baby again.”

Before Rick could say anything, someone spoke for him. “Ya ain’t touchin’ lil ass kicker!” The archer entered the room.

“Last time I checked, the name of her father was Rick Grimes and not Daryl Dixon.” You simply couldn’t not talk back.

“Nobody is going to touch her, because I’m going to take my baby girl right now, cause I missed her so much.” Rick took Jude from Beth’s arms in an attempt to not let you have his daughter, but also to say that’s not because he didn’t trust you, he just didn’t want you and Daryl fighting.

Daryl rolled his eyes at Rick, he knew the ex-sheriff deputy didn’t like strangers touching his kids or close to his kids. So, why not saying it and try to do amends? After the lady named Carol helped you settle in, there was an empty cell that could be yours.

The days passed and the group started to get used to you and you were also getting used to them. Even if you really wanted to run from the place and don’t look back, you had to admit that you were getting attached to these people, something that you didn’t want to happen. Your relation with Daryl didn’t get any better, you talked to each other when necessary and Rick seemed to like to put you two together in activities such as keeping watch and going on runs. Both of you would do everything fighting from beginning to end, at least on watches you stayed most of the time in silence. He liked to blame you for everything that went wrong on the activities you were together, if you didn’t do something the exactly same way he does, he’d get mad and argue with you.

The both of you had just arrived from a run and the others observed as you approached the compound on Daryl’s bike.

“Why don’t they just kiss each other and make out?” Maggie commented to Rick, Glenn and Carol. “It’s obvious this is all sexual tension between them.”

“They’ll at the right time.” Rick replied, even though there was no evolution on your relationship with the archer. “In the meantime, let’s continue to make them work together.”

Once you got off from the bike the group surrounded you to know how it went and what you have brought. When Rick opened his mouth to ask you, you just sighed, but Daryl… he erupted in anger like a damn volcano. “Ask her, how it went! ‘Cause it was shit ‘cause of’er!”

“Me? Really? It’s not my fault if you pick on me because of everything! I can’t even breath wrong!” You bursted and faster than the other times you forgot the whole group was watching.

“Ya attracted all those walkers to us with the tantrum ya threw!” He observed making you even angrier.

“Yes! I freaked out! Because you were picking on my fucking breathing! We had just run from walkers and had finally been able to mislead them, and you were worried with my fucking breathing that they couldn’t even listen to! How did you expect me to breath after a run?!” He was making no sense. It was ridiculous how he found excuses to fight with you.

“I expected ya to not be so infuriating!” He didn’t want to let you win.

“Look, I don’t like you. You don’t like me. So make me a favor, don’t talk to me even on runs. Just like we do during the watches. It’s gonna be better for the group.” Everybody was stupefied, this had been the worst fight you had in all the history of fights you had, which were many for the short period of time you were with the group.

“The heavens must really dislike me to send a soulmate jus’ like ya.“ he spit the words without even noticing that he was talking about something he didn’t believe.

“I have no soulmate! Soulmates don’t exist!” You exploded. “If you’re my soulmate, where were you? Where were you when I most needed? Where were you when I wanted to believe in this shit to prove me I was wrong? Where were you when the world ended? Where the fuck were you all the times I was left alone!?”

When you finished you realized you had talked too much, you had even said things you didn’t know you felt. You had tears in your eyes, he was struck and the others were speechless. You opened your bag, took your gun and knife, and then an iron long thing that you found on the patio, and went to Rick.

“Rick, open the gates for me. Please.” You asked.

“You can’t leave in this state, I couldn’t permit…” he tried to reason with you.

“I’m not going far. I’ll be ok, open it. Please.” You asked one more time and you hoped he would say yes before your tears fell down in front of everyone.

He said nothing, just turned his back and descended the hills, you followed him till the gate.

“Be careful” he said opening the gate.

“I’m not going far, just gonna kill some walkers around the fence.” You replied, before leaving to kill some walkers and let your feelings out.

Once you found the first one, the iron thing went straight into it’s skull. You pulled the metal and discarded the body going to the next, to the next, to the next, to the next… while you killed each of them, you cried. You cried like you haven’t cried in months. Also, you let the anger you felt go in each walker you killed.

While you were releasing all your feelings on the walkers, Daryl, Rick, Carol and Maggie observed you from afar. “Look, I bet she’s imagining the walkers head ‘s mine.” Daryl tried to joke, which was not well received by the others.

“This isn’t a time for jokes Daryl, she was crying.” Carol reprehended him. “And it’s also not healthy she going outside kill walkers when she’s angry at you.”

“Better them than me.” The archer simply replied. He didn’t want to be defeated, to lose the battle, but he couldn’t deny that your words were still ringing in his ears and that the tears he saw in your eyes shattered something inside him. “Look, she was the one that started all this shit. She looked at me and said ‘yeah, I’m really leaving.’” He said trying to make a high pitched voice for you in the end.

“Are you telling us that all this war between you two, is because you think she decided to leave when she saw you were her soulmate?” Maggie asked the archer that just shrugged. “ are you a man or boy? Seriously?”

“If she doesn’t like wha’ she got, I don’t need to like wha’ I got.” He said. “And, I never believed in that soulmate shit.”

“Don’t believe and half an hour ago said ‘heaven must dislike me for givin’ me a soulmate like ya’, yeah, you really convinced us that you don’t believe in it.” Rick mocked his friend.

“She went through a lot Daryl.” Maggie said, observing like you fought outside the security of the prison worried her. “I don’t know the whole story, but she got traumas and she lost people, just like us. Just like you. Did you ever stopped to think why she doesn’t ‘believe’ in soulmates too? Maybe… the both of you are really a pair made in heaven, you just need to stop hurting each other.”

It was getting late, the day was almost over and there was little time for everything to be completely dark. You hadn’t come back yet, you were still there killing walkers just like if they didn’t tire you at all. The group observed you, it was already time for them to intervene, they couldn’t let you out there anymore.

“Daryl, go bring her inside.” Rick told the redneck.

“Why me? She ain’t comin’ with me.” He protested, from all the people that he could ask, Daryl didn’t think he was the best option.

“You caused this, you bring her back.” Rick said pointing at the woman that was still hitting walkers brains. “ don’t give me that look, I know you both are guilty, but this time you really exaggerated.”

The hunter grunted and left to the gates stomping his feet just like when a child have to do something the parents asked but they don’t want to. His crossbow on his shoulder, knife on his waist and the keys to open the gate in his hand. He opened the gate, closed it and walked in the direction where you were killing walkers non stop. When he got close to you, he took his crossbow and hit the last walker you were going to kill. When the walker fell to the ground, an arrow in the middle of its head you turned around and saw the archer coming in your direction.

“It was mine! You had no right to kill it!” You protested all the anger you had towards him coming back.

“Last time I checked walkers were no one’s property, sweetheart. It’s fair game.” He replied you sarcastically. “The show is over, let’s go back inside.”

“Fuck you! I’m going nowhere with you.” You threw him your middle finger and started walking farther from the entrance to the prison.

“Never told ya had a choice…” He said right before he caught you and threw you over his shoulder, your upper half on his back and your ass right at his shoulder.

“Put. Me. Down. DIXON!” You’d punch his back and try to kick his stomach, but his hold on your leg stopped you of being able to do so.

“That’s ma name.” He said walking with you in the direction of the gates. “Stop being a brat.”

“I hate you!”

Punches. Kicks. Grunts.

“I know.”

“When you put me down, I’m gonna kick your balls up your ass…” you threatened him.

“I’d like to see ya try.” He replied nonchalantly, while he put the gate aside just enough to enter with you, closing it right after and locking.

“We’re inside. Put me down.”

He ignored you going up the hill still carrying you.

“You know that I’m armed and I have this thing, I don’t know what it is, in my hand that can go through walkers brains and that I can use against you.” You threatened him, but he knew you wouldn’t do that. You were tough, but he also knew that you knew he wasn’t going to do anything against you, so you’d not actually try to kill him.

“Yeah, I know. If ya wanted, ya’d had already killed me with this thing.” He replied no worry in his voice. You just felt like a fraud not being able to threaten him and get what you wanted. “Yer order is delivered sir.” Daryl said as soon as you were in front of the buildings, the others waiting for you, he put you down.

You were covered in walker blood, your head, face, hair, clothes, arms… Your face, a mess of blood, sweat and tears, literally. You looked at Rick and you knew he was the one that sent Daryl there, also what Daryl said implied it a little.

“You could just had called me, Rick.” You told the ex sheriff deputy.

You took your backpack that was still on the ground and just shoved your gun and knife inside it. Heading inside you sighed heavily now being aware of the tiredness of your body and feeling disgusted by all the dirt and walker blood on you. You dropped your things on your cell, took a new change of clothes, a towel and went to the showers.

Later that day in the silence of your cell, you felt an uneasy feeling. You missed your family, you missed your fucked up family… you didn’t miss the everyday life you had when you were younger, all the fights, hurtful words and broken furniture around the house, but you missed the little nice moments, playing with your dad when you were little, the comforting embrace of your mother when you needed it and the small time between all the fights that seemed like bad things would never happen again, just to happen a few hours/days later.

You had managed to keep some photos of your family with you. Your parents when they were still dating, you and them in a park picnicking when you were five and 2 photos from your high school and college graduation. You smiled at the pictures, but you remembered that things were not exactly fine in most of them. Now that you could see colors, even though you were not an expert, you could see that the clothes were chosen just by appearance because the colors didn’t match at all. They never could see colors.

“Fucking liars, you couldn’t see shit.” You sniffled, you were crying with all the memories.

You got up from the bed and went downstairs, you didn’t know what made you do that, maybe you were just tired or maybe you weren’t on your right mind. You thought it would take a longer time to find what you were looking for, but like a joke of destiny you soon found what you wanted in that moment. In the end of the stairs Daryl Dixon was standing, and you didn’t know but he was pretty much looking for the same thing as you.

“Can we talk?” You both said and you couldn’t help but smile ironically. That was the first time that Daryl saw you smiling, at least at him. It wasn’t as you giving him a happy smile, but it was one either way. The corner of his mouth quirked a little for a second at the sight of yours.

You walked outside of the compound and sat on a bench. Everything was pitch black, except for where the moonlight hit and Daryl’s lighter lighting up his cigar. There was a long silence between you, apparently both thinking about the best words to say.

“I’m sorry.” You said, the words feeling strange on your tongue. There was a long time you didn’t use this word.

“For wha’?” Daryl asked blowing some smoke.

“Everything, except for not breathing or walking in the correct way.” You didn’t even know what made you decide to talk to him… maybe, you didn’t want to be like them, maybe it was time to stop reproducing their mistakes.

“Look, she got some sense of humor…” he replied at your remark about your breathing and walking. “ ‘m sorry for being an asshole.”

A silence took place again. ‘And what now?’, you thought. Would everything just be rainbows and unicorns between you? You took the pictures from your pocket and handed them to him. He took his lighter from his pocket, cigar hanging from his mouth… he used the fire from the lighter to illuminate the pictures so he could see them.

“Who are those idiots dressin’ like they’re ready for Halloween?” He asked cigar still in his mouth, smoke coming out and his voice hoarse.

“My parents.” You answered, he almost choked with the cigar and the smoke. “Don’t need to feel bad. I thought almost the same thing when I looked at them now that I can see colors.”

“Look at lil ya dressing the same way…” he said looking at the next picture, at least you were an adorable kid.

“They never told me, but I already knew… and now it’s clear as water that they in fact couldn’t see colors.” You looked at the sky, now a little glad that you could see the dark blue color and the brightness of the stars and the moon decorating the sky.

“Why are ya telling me this?” He gave you the pictures back, this conversation wasn’t really going the way he planned it to be, but he also wasn’t expecting you to want to talk with him.

“Part of me not believing on the soulmate thing… was because of this.” You said, and he was still trying to understand what you meant. “And, now that I’m calmer… I see that this attitude of mine, it’s just me being everything I didn’t want to be and repeating the same mistakes of them.”

He didn’t say anything. Maybe waiting for you to finish talking.

“Also, we said a bunch of words today that we can’t take back.” You completed. When you yelled at him asking where he was… that wasn’t you trying to hurt him somehow or talk back, that was a mix of all your story and your feelings throughout the years. While you said all those words, that were young you that had chosen to not believe, but that still pleaded whatever force there was to prove you that you were wrong, that soulmates were real and that he would bring you out of your misery. You hoped for a life totally different from what your parents had, hoped for someone that would complete you, understand you and have a healthy relationship with you, but here you were, doing everything like them since the beginning. “In the end, I’m exactly like them.”

He looked at you swallowing the smoke from his cigar. Indeed you had said many words to each other and there was no going back. He still needed to understand you, and now that you started speaking, he wanted to listen everything.

“Me, outside, killing walkers? That was totally my dad, the only difference is that I was hitting walking corpses and not our furniture. We’re lucky, we don’t have that much furniture.” You said bitterly.

“Did he beat ya or ya mom?” He had to make that question, it triggered a thousand different feelings in him, but he needed to know.

“No, he never did. Talking about it now… it could have been worse.” You deep breathed and closed your eyes for some seconds, just feeling the night breeze and enjoying the silence. “My temper, me provoking you… pushing all your buttons… I probably got it from my mom, not that you made easy for me.”

“ ‘cause that was all ya knew…” he said turning himself to you.

“And everything I didn’t want to be.” You completed and then a random thought crossed your mind. “Can I try? Your cigar.”

“Do ya want one?” He asked taking his pack of cigars from his pocket.

“No, I just wanna try yours. I never smoked, if I don’t like I don’t wanna waste a good cigar that you could smoke.” You answered and then he stretched his arm in your direction offering you the cigar.

You took the cigarette between your fingers and analyzed it before bringing it to your mouth. “Ma old man was a drunk, he used to beat ma big bro and when Merle wasn’t around he started to beat me. Ma mom she died too early, but she didn’t cared much about us too. From what I remember from their relationship they were definitely not soulmates.” You swallowed the smoke and blowed it right after making a face and confirming you didn’t like cigars at all. “Guess… I got much from him too.”

“Well, at least you don’t beat children or women. You’re just an asshole and bad tempered.” You said and right after handed the cigar back to him.

“Was it supposed to make me feel better?” He asked sarcastically bringing the cigarette to his lips.

“I dunno.” You said honestly in fact you did just talked. “It just came out of my mouth.”

“Yeah, things come out of yer mouth pretty easily .” He couldn’t control and let the sassy remark.

“Just as it come from yours…” you replied back. “What did you want to talk?”

“Just wanted to say I’m sorry and offer a truce.” He said, finishing his cigar and throwing it away.

“Sounds good to me.” You answered, a truce sounded just perfect for two people in constant war.

“Wanna go back in the run tomorrow? Maybe this time we’re lucky.”

“I’m in.” You had a good feeling about this, you felt better after having talked to him and the truce that he offered were more than welcome. You didn’t expect much, but peace of mind was already a big step.

Both of you headed inside, agreeing to go early in the morning in the same run you had done that day. You went up the stairs and parted ways in the corridor.

“Good Night, Dixon.”

“Good Night, Y/N.”

[mimez-meme]

Defending hizashi chapter 420 (spoilers!)

(Please bear with me I’m not exactly amazing with my words or explaining but I tried, some of the points in here would have been mentioned before/talked about before)

Look im not saying what happened in chapter 420 didn’t annoy me a bit, like i was a bit angry at hizashi. But you gotta remember he has reasons for why he acted that way and it isn’t necessarily his fault? Idk

This man has been bottling up all his emotions for 15 years or more. Taking aizawa’s life way more serious then his, he wants to be aizawa’s protecter and make sure he finds happiness. He would do anything to make sure he gets that. (He also doesn’t view himself as a person he views himself as a third person if that makes sense) His reactions in 420 is a good example of what bottling up emotions can do to you, it can make you loose control when faced with those emotions, which is basically what happened.

Present mic CANNOT cope or deal with his emotions, half the time I doubt he knows how he actually feels He uses aizawa as a way to distract himself from the grief and his emotions, as he understands shota’s, and when aizawa is around he focus’s on him, not himself. When it’s just him, he will do anything to take his mind off his feelings by overworking, drinking ect. Now along with bottling up all his emotions he’s buried oboro, well not fully. He clearly isn’t over him but he’s trying to be for aizawa. He’s trying to get over his trauma. Because he’s built up all these emotions, made this persona, buried deep all his traumas and then being forced to face the worse trauma caused him to snap, beacuse he doesn’t want this, this isn’t how things were meant to be. He’s lost the patience to just move on, leading him to be violent and aggressive. Even aizawa was shocked when he snapped and told him to shut up and calm down in the car scene whatever. being forced to face him again clearly had an massive affect on him and he’s still trying to reject the fact that oboro could possibly be a villian cuz in his eyes villains don’t deserve to be forgiven they are horrible humans and don’t deserve second chances and he doesn’t want to believe his best friend who talked and told him about the ways and how they’re all going to be heros together, be a villain. Facing oboro once more has made all his emotions spark and like mentioned he cannot deal with that. Whenever he starts to show vulnerability he instead starts to act angry to cover up his true emotions with anger Because it’s better then being ‘weak’ and showing vulnerability infront of aizawa or others. His bottled emotions also seemed to of bottled up into anger, which is once more a common thing for those who bottle up emotions. Clearly hizashi is upset and hurt by all this but he refuses to show it. Now onto actually discussing chapter 420, killing kurogiri to hizashi is the only escape, only way to stop all these emotions, in this chapter he’s crying. And aizawa ‘points it out’ and when he does he responds with ‘I’m a man, men don’t cry!” However he doesn’t actually believe that he just thinks HE can’t cry because we see present mic attempt to comfort aizawa when he’s sad, he even punched the fucking doctor for making him cry. He wouldn’t do that if he thought MEN couldn’t cry. However it turns out aizawa wasn’t even talking about hizashi he was talking about Oboro/kurogiri, beacuse he’s crying. I’m sorry but it kinda felt like aizawa was ignoring hizashi then, and aizawa has never really acknowledged how hizashi really feels beacuse to him hizashi hasn’t changed all these years but to us we see obvious changes. (He said that in my hero justice 2)

Hizashi is facing so many emotions at once and like I said he CANNOT cope or deal with it, he has no distractions, it’s oboro and facing him again that’s making all his emotions spark, if your someone who’s bottled up their emotions for years and then one day your hit with a wave of them, and they suddenly they all come out whatever you will not know what to do. Hizashi is scared, angry, upset ect ect, it’s causing him to be violent. He wants aizawa to be happy, and safe but he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to kill oboro he wants to kill kurogiri but he knows kurogiri is oboro but he’s in denial. He doesn’t want to see Oboro has this villain but he knows deep down it’s true. (Now I’m talking about a different chapter, I forgot what one) When kurogiri dies/goes to save shigaraki we see zashi crying, he even said “thanks bud” when kurogiri opened a Portal for him to go to the battle field. At his point we see that hizashi seems to of finally came with terms of kurogiri being oboro but obviously he dies, if hizashi really wanted kurogiri dead he wouldn’t have cried? If that makes sense he wanted to save him like aizawa. Now beacuse kurogiri is dead present mic is going to have to carry MORE guilt probably more guilt then aizawa.

I still don’t think that was everything tho/ all his emotions. Like just think about how powerful zashi is, I think he was still holding back. Because he has been bottling them up for 15 years so there’s no way that’s everything. Yk?

His reaction was valid and in character for him.

The moment he shows emotions people hate him, like come on guys, Be so fucking fr. Like present mic is angry at himself, the villians ect. He couldn’t protect his friends, it was the villians who did this.

Thanks for reading!! And sorry if any mistakes or if some of it doesn’t make sense😓

‼️oh yeah he also has the black and white mindset and that’s believed to maybe be another trauma response‼️