#and think about how communities like this have actual problems

[nothorses]

I'm an nb who boymodes 24/7 and doesn't plan to take estrogen. I'm not saying transmeds were right, but it feels a little goofy that I'm allowed to speak on trans issues and PDB isn't. I think the issue is not his identity, the issue is that his take is wrong!

The issue is that he's speaking on an experience he doesn't have, and specifically telling others who do have that experience that they're wrong.

The issue is also that he's doing this from a place of relative privilege, where it is more likely that he is listened to over those whose oppression he is downplaying and denying.

The issue is also that he is, at the same time, openly gloating that others have assumed he must himself be a part of this community- because of how confidently he speaks on deeply intimate aspects of experiences he does not have.

The issue is also that he refuses to engage with the suggestion that he might be using his position of relative privilege to speak over a marginalized group on that marginalized group's experiences.

All of this is directly relevant to the fact that he is cisgender! Trans people also shouldn't do these things- not to other groups of trans people, and not to trans people who share the same identity- but there's definitely a difference between horizontal aggression and actual systemically enforced privilege & oppression.

What makes this situation so completely absurd is that a cis dude is openly utilizing cis male privilege to uphold systemic transphobia, but because he's claiming to do it for the benefit of one specific group of trans people, certain trans people have decided it's actually fine & even good for him to do this.

The fact that his takes are also wrong is definitely a big part of the problem here!! And I'm not really on board with the idea that cis people can't talk about any of this stuff ever, or that they can't disagree with trans people on trans issues. For a number of reasons! But I do think how they engage in these conversations matters, and acknowledging their positionality in relation to those they are speaking to & the subject they're speaking on, is extremely important.

[centaurianthropology]

Another thing I've been thinking about in regards to 'Murderbot' is how far Murderbot's accusations really go as confessions. I've seen people complain that PresAux are 'ungrateful', as Murderbot constantly characterizes them as such. It complains that they don't appreciate what it's done, don't recognize the efforts it's made.

But it's not taking into account what a bad communicator is constantly is. Yes, PresAux don't really understand Murderbot, but it has put very little effort into understanding them. The miscommunication goes both ways! Murderbot is a deeply self-sabotaging character, constantly walking away from moments it might have made a connection, refusing to explain itself or its actions, and then getting upset when people don't simply intuit them and thank it for what it refuses to put voice to.

It's an incredibly understandable flaw. So many people have the flaw of not explaining themselves, refusing to connect or communicate, and then getting angry when they're not understood. It's refusing to meet anyone half-way, because it's spent its existence being treated as an object. So why should it put forth any effort to explain itself now?

Except it still wants to be understood. It still wants to be appreciated. And when it does put forth that effort with Mensah, it's rewarded. She reaches back. She connects with it, but the problem is that she has other connections. She has other people she's responsible for, and so once again Murderbot feels misunderstood because it won't make the same effort with them, and they don't understand, and Mensah has to choose between chasing after it (again) and trying to keep her people cohesive and alive. She chooses the prior commitment, and she chooses to respect its autonomy.

"It's not your pet" echoes in my head, because I think there is a certain impulse in the audience to woobify Murderbot, to reduce it to a sweet baby pet thing that can't possibly help when it spies on people, or invades their privacy, or refuses to explain why it does what it does, or hurts people in unexpected ways (or very expected ways), or gets upset when people can't read its mind. But it's not a pet. It's a wholly realized, broken person. And it's fucking up every bit as much as PresAux is fucking up. Its war with Gurathin is 100% a mutual affair, where they've both been absolute shit to one another simply because they could. Its refusal to speak to the team in anything like an actual back-and-forth conversation is an understandable reaction to what it's been through, and it's still the wrong call and is actively worsening the situation everyone finds themselves in.

And that's what I like about this show. It's not taking the easy way out with any of these situations. Murderbot is an ASSHOLE, and it's wrong about half the things it says. It wants outcomes it can't or won't work for, and wants recognition for things there is no way for people to have know it did. And haven't we all done that? Haven't we all been in that mental place? Having to make connections is HARD. It's scary and puts you in a vulnerable place and may not pay off. And it's the only way to really live. Right now, Murderbot wants the rewards of connection without the risks and pains of connection.

That's a great place to start a long-term character arc! It's wrong and broken and dumb in the most honest, real ways. It makes massive mistakes, and refuses to acknowledge them, and hopes they just go away. Or it tries to tackle them, and does it in the worst possible way.

And then, occasionally, it gets it right. It opens up, and makes a real and beautiful connection. What it has with Mensah is as good as it is because Murderbot, even just a little, was willing to open up, to be vulnerable, to share pieces of itself. And that's the first thing that really matters in its life.

This show has a hopepunk heart, where genuine connection is not only rewarded, it's the only thing that really matters. It's a lesson Murderbot is going to learn, but it's going to be a slow and difficult path to understanding, just like it is for any of us.

[hollowistheworld]

Unpopular opinion (I think), but I'm actually quite fond of Murderbot's disaster thrupple. I think it really shows us a lot about Preservation's cultural baseline. Lots of what we see them dealing with is new or life-threatening, and they're trying to adapt to it. But the thrupple is a slice of life sort of problem.

It gives us a window into how casual sex is allowed to be on Preservation (you can jump into bed with a coworker with no apparent fear on anyone's part that it's going to make work weird). Similarly, they're confident in the emotional communication to make sure everyone's okay.

In ASR, Murderbot mentions that pretty much all of PresAux is into someone else in PresAux, and it likes that this doesn't lead to any fights, but it doesn't really come into the story. The show brings it in. They can handle these weird relationships. They can deal with whatever the fuck this thrupple is, they can deal with Gurathin's feelings for Mensah, they can have all these very messy feelings right out there in the open and it's not going to ruin everything.

IDK, I just think it's a neat bit of insight into how much Preservation's people-first culture really does make their lives better and happier, even when they still have all the messiness inherent to being human.

[hazard-haze]

I have more Eddie and Volt headcanons. I can't stop thinking about them.

Mild TW for brief mentions of Self Hatred and Harassment. Nothing major or explicit but just thought it was worth a mention.

-----

-Their bar is incredible accessible. You cannot tell me they did not build that place with the comfort of any object or person with any level of accessibility needs in mind.

-Volt has given Eddie compression gloves. He doesn't wear em' (even though he should) but they are around here somewhere.

-Eddie's favorite color is orange.

-Ooooh we actually have some player ones this time, the homeowner is definitely welcome to hang out before opening and after closing (assuming the friendship or love ending)

-eventually they'd probably give them a key so, as Eddie puts it, they can "make themself useful by locking up for us" but in reality it's just so they can get in even when the 2 are in the back.

-They have all the fixings in the back or at the bar for injuries/disabilities/emergencies. Including but not limited to epi-pens, narcan, good first aid kits, juice/snacks for blood sugar, a fold up wheel chair, free earplugs/noise cancelling headphones, and cots.

-Homeowner will not be served alcohol if Eddie thinks something is up with them. Or at least they will be cut off before they can even get tipsy. Bro is not letting them drown and ignore their problems, usually Volt will end up doing most of the talking to them about whatever is bothering them.

-It's kind of obvious but the hallway closet is very much the hub of the upstairs. And honestly? Most objects hold Eddie and Volt to the same level of respect that they do the mayor, neither of them really realize it but they are pretty integral to the community

-Not a headcanon but I just thought of the funniest shit: Breaker Box Hallmark Movie AU. Featuring the Breaker Box getting shutdown for some reason and through the power of winter holiday magic and love probably it is saved lol. Would anyone read this?

-Eddie inadvertently gets so much tea working the bar. Bathsheba has been begging him to give her some gossip. Eddie refuses every single time.

-Volt cries when he see's cute animal/inanimal videos

-If they got a cat people would assume its name is like Sparky or something but no, Volt is gonna want to name it something really pretty like Eleanor or Anastasia, and Eddie is gonna take one look at it and go: "Uhhhh... Todd." "Eddie she's a girl." "So? Girls can be named Todd!" "..." "Stop assuming our cat's gender Volt!"

-I don't know if he actually would in canon, but I think it would be so fucking funny if Volt just loved calling minor inconveniences homophobic. This includes Eddie. Eddie won't stop working? "Eddie if you don't go to bed your homophobic!" "Wha? I'm ga-!" "HOMOPHOBIA!"

-Self deprecation? In my breaker box? I think not! And by that I mean Volt holds the very strong conviction that no one in his club is allowed to be self hating except for him. I mean he is a flirt, but he is also a sweetheart. He see's someone crying? Absolutely not. Gives you a tissue, tells you your too hot to be crying over anyone and then reapplies your mascara for you.

-Eddie does not play when it comes to patron safety. He will cut you off if he thinks you've drank too much. He is making sure everyone leaving at the end of the night has a designated driver (I don't know if any of them NEED designated drivers seeing as they all live in a house, but its the principal okay?). Harassment of any kind you are gone and banned so fast you won't even know what happened.

----

God this hyperfixation hit me like a truck.

I noticed most of these ones focused more on how they actually run the club. Idk why it just kind of ended up like that. Anyways I'm having so much fun with these let me know if ya'll want more or if anyone has specific hc requests because I CAN cook up more! Hope you enjoyed!

[imperiuswan]

With all due respect, the problem with wags

PSA: a gentle reminder that wags are just normal people that happen to date drivers. Yes, they may be models, professional athletes and social media sensations, and be featured in rhode, but at the end of the day, they're people with their own passions, careers, and stories, not just accessories to your favourite driver.

If you know me, you would know that I am 1. a fangirl. 2. the number 1 hater of wag culture (and parasocial relationships in general). Combining my two expertises, here is why wag culture is horrible:

For instance, merely gaining the status of being a wag affords you incessant and unrelenting praise. I don't think anyone can deny that a wag's popularity is solely due to the driver—yes, i'm looking at you, Alexandra minions. I can guarantee that you know someone like Alexandra in your life—your Lacy of sorts. Someone who is beautiful, outgoing, and just genuinely a nice soul to be around. From my personal, purely unbiased perspective, here is my impression of Alexandra: an unassuming French-Mexican girl with good fashion sense, posture, networking skills, and just so happened to be dating the prince of Monaco Charles Leclerc. I won't elaborate on her brand deals with Rhode, Meshki, etc, but people need to stay grounded so here we are. Purely objectively, Alexandra is a marketing machine. While it is undeniable that her brand deals are deserved, her largest selling point is that she fully embodies the je ne sais quoi, it girl persona while dating objectively the most popular f1 driver amongst female fans, which gives a connection that allows brands to delve into the growing female fan demographic of f1 without paying an exorbitant sponsorship for f1 academy which probably wouldn't bring them too much press anyways. To continue, I fear I must talk about Lily Zneimer. She seems to be the perfect unassuming girl, sharing a lilt of as if to say she is just like anyone else. I suppose that is why she became so popular even through her privacy. If you google her, you find out she's British, met Oscar in school, and is an aspiring engineer. If you dig a little deeper, you find out that she received all 9s on her GCSEs. That's all can be found on her on the internet. You know NOTHING about her personality, hobbies, etc. NOTHING. Who are you stanning? And yet, there are fanpages dedicated to reposting her every move, passionate fans that spend hours searching up every piece of her outfits to post on instagram. As evidenced by Lily's private demeanour, the fanpages could be making her uncomfortable, and pulling her into the exact situation she seeks to avoid by being a private wag. On an off note, a large reason why she is loved as a "private wag" is because she is not profiting off Oscar for clout on instagram, by which is internally misogynistic on its own. Since people don’t know anything about Lily, there’s nothing for them to criticise, so they "stan': her mainly to use her as a contrast to more well known wags, often as a way to hate on those other women, if that makes sense. To put it simply, you are just glorifying someone with very little status. Wags like Alexandra (to no fault of their own) are stealing from actual women in motorsport. I recently saw an article titled something along the lines of "Is Alexandra Saint Mleux the most glamorous woman in Formula 1?" First off, she is not a woman in Formula 1. She would not have any connection to F1 or motorsport if she wasn't dating Charles. She isn't involved in the sport’s competitive or technical side. The term “women in F1” generally highlights those making a hands on contribution—drivers, engineers, strategists, mechanics, and other team personnel—rather than those attending as partners or guests. While wags certainly contribute to the racing atmosphere and community, their role doesn’t fit the professional focus that the phrase aims to recognise. Using your logic, is Pascale Leclerc a woman in f1? How about Nicole Piastri? Calling her a "woman in f1" is a slap in the face to the actual drivers, engineers, etc who have had to fight for a place in this highly competitive, male‑dominated industry. By applying the label to someone simply because of their relationship to a driver, it diminishes the efforts and expertise of the women making a direct, professional contribution to f1 every day. Alexandra has 2x the amount of followers as Susie Wolff, 18x of Hannah Schmitz, 10x of Doriane Pin. Let that sink in.

Lastly, I find the wag tiering system interesting. If you go on tiktok search up f1 wags and scroll just a little too far, you will find fanpages dedicated to a specific wag. Occaisionally, these account like to slander the previous girlfriends of these drivers in order to re-enlist the superiority of their fav wag. I have nothing to say other than it is utterly ridiculous, parasocial, and just downright weird. Let’s break down what constitutes a “good wag” by analysing the definition : WAG, wives and girlfriends of professional athletes. Therefore, by this logic, the vitality of a “good” wag is decided by the how “good” of a girlfriend they are. But how do you measure being a good girlfriend when you dont have any input or space in their personal life? critiquing outfits or whatever sponsorships they may have recieved due to their wag status (highly connected to the prestige and reputation of their driver boyfriend) is completely irrelevant to their status as a wag, as is psychanalysing their reactions (cheering, smiling, emotions, etc) to their boyfriends winning. Point is, you have no right to judge whoever a driver choses to date.

On the opposite side of the coin, people are to obsessed with digging up dirt about wags. I recently discovered a 30 page website dissecting Rebecca's entire instagram posts, presence, employment, connections, and public appearances, since she her adolescence, including extrapolating many rumours that have little to no relevance to her current public image. I won't continue as that thread does not need any more publicity than it already has, but you get the idea. Additionally, I think that most of you are familiar with the povkellyp fiasco. Why do peaple act like kelly is some kind of evil mastermind?? like be serious. You’re foaming at the mouth over a woman you don’t know because she dated two drivers, has a daughter and dared to exist in public. It’s giving misogyny in a cute fandom wrapper. not everything needs a villain arc. Sometimes a person is just living their life and y’all project a whole telenovela onto it. Maybe go outside. Have a coke. Pet a dog. Yes, she’s high profile because she’s connected to Max, one of the biggest names in f1, but that doesn’t justify making her a target. Criticising her every word, outfit, or social media post doesn’t prove how passionate you are about racing—it just exposes how little you have to say about the actual sport. People change—even if the horrible rumours surrounding her are true, Max has his reasons for choosing her to be the mother of his children. You needn't interfere and perpetuate rumours, and doing so is childish. If she is really so bad, people will realise without your hate posts.

To conclude, I must remind everyone to be open of others' opinions, and to reflect before commenting something mean. All the wags are amazing girls who deserve the utmost respect. I am happy to engage in open discussions surrounding my argument, should you wish to hear more.

Those are everything I can think of for now. Anyways, thank you for reading my rant ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

xoxo,

frida

[soulsmangione]

@honeyblossombaby @palmersluvr @hiscalliope

you three acting all high and mighty about this when the video initially dropped is what we have a problem with. it’s giving “i had it before all of you! haha!!🫵🏻”

nobody wants to hear the “someone gave it to me that trusted me and they didn’t want me to share!” bullshit. yall think ANY of us are believing that? you’ll say anything to deflect from the real problem at hand. which is the fact that luigi mangione is a real human on trial, and ANY sort of coverage of him is good for him. do we not remember how viral he went in december? we won’t be seeing him until september. people who aren’t as invested will start to slowly forget about him and why it’s important to keep talking about him. a video of him talking could have sparked things again.

and for you, specially vers, to say that we are all pathetic for this, that we care too much about him and have a problem… aren’t YOU the one crashing out weekly and constantly leaving, then coming back? i fear you’re the one with the problem… you try to make people jealous of you when it comes to luigi… always acting so above everybody on here. i’m sad for you. you are literally attempting to gaslight the majority of tumblr into thinking we’re crazy for being upset with yall about this.

obviously we’re going to be upset. because we’re a community here on tumblr. and we already are up against luigi twt, so why would yall cause division on here as well?

it’s giving that ya’ll need to GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! seriously. you are not high and mighty because you’ve got little minions and you ‘got a luigi video months ago’!!!

and the audacity that you all got mad at my best friend for posting it here on tumblr… it shows that you’re the sad one here. it’s not us. truly, please do some reevaluation and realize that we should come together and HELP LUIGI AS MUCH AS WE CAN. THIS IS PATHETIC AND SICKKKKK LIKE i’m actually dying laughing as i type this.

you asked to be @ ed… so here it is. literally just apologize and move on… oh wait, nobody can ever admit when they’re in the wrong in the luigi community so!

[captainstarburst]

i genuinely think the wave of like. "assertiveness" people have been spreading the past few years has undone so much progress in mental health communities im not even kidding. im not talking about actual normal assertiveness like setting boundaries or saying no when you need to say no. i mean this very specific kind of behavior where.. people will talk circles around the concept of "standing up for yourself" but never learn any actual communication or boundary setting skills. and still being extremely conflict avoidant. so what they end up doing is allowing people to talk and act in ways they dont like until they eventually snap and blow up at that person without any warning. and i see this a lot from specifically lower support needs disabled people where they dont like when the "scary" mentally ill people act mentally ill and they never ask them to not talk about certain things and never say certain behaviors bother them and then they explode at you later anyways. its just more ableism really. if you actually care about standing up for yourself you will learn how to communicate and have difficult conversations in ways where you dont get so mad at the other party you cant control yourself anymore. and if you don't do that you Are perpetuating the exact same cycles you claim to be "standing up against". you have become part of the problem. we've done a terrible disservice to mentally ill people by proclaiming that any way you recover Is good. but no you very much can heal from trauma in ways that make you mean and Worse sometimes and we really do need to be recognizing that. examine your biases examine the way you act. dont just blindly seek confirmation that you arent mean. prove that you arent. prove it.

[lovingdabeessss]

What do you think would be Weiss' feelings about Yang consistently getting better grades than her ?

Ohhhh boyyy do I have thoughts on this

For one obviously I think she’d be kinda really upset about it

I think yangs a huge point of insecurity for Weiss for a really long time and I think this would really add to that in a bad way

A lot of Weiss’s problems in the beginning is insecurity

She has worked VERY hard throughout her life to be good at everything she does, she’s had to, that’s the standard she’s held to,

and she’s worked probably even harder to be good at this

Because she JUST started doing this, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she just got here!! She had to fight a huge fucking knight thing just to be here!!! She’s putting blood sweat and tears into every second of this but she is still new to it and nothing can fix that

Yang however

Has done this her entire fucking life, she’s a god damn legacy- which you KNOW early Weiss was obsessed with

She’s got crazy experience and general knowledge and she has it so casually

Yang simply doesn’t have to work anywhere near as hard as Weiss does to be as good as she is

And even with being very good at what they’re doing yang is also well liked!! She’s popular!!! She knows how to talk to their peers in a way Weiss feels totally alienated from

For a character defined by her loneliness to stare at a character defined by her relationships with others

And it’s made so much worse by the fact that yang, is in the beginning, the only person on her team she had any hope of getting along with

Ruby’s the leader which is a position Weiss is gunning for even after Ruby gets it, she also blew her up, shes also 2 years younger then her which is understandably infuriating when she’s made the leader, they have seemingly nothing in common at first there’s no hope

Blake fucking hates her and her whole bloodline ZERO hope there

Yang is NORMAL she got in the normal way, she’s well liked, would be great for networking, she’s good at their job AND communicating while doing it, she gets along with pretty much everyone

EXCEPT WEISS!!

To yang this is just some racist rich girl who’s a total dick to her little sister for no reason, like yeah it is weird they made the girl 2 years younger then everyone the leader but that’s NOT RUBYS FAULT!!! And Weiss is her age just totally being so rude to Ruby for no reason, AND she doesn’t get along with yangs team partner, who yang actually likes (not to mention Weiss doesn’t get along with Blake cause she’s like fantasy racist, something yangs clearly not chill with)

And to Weiss this girl is the absolute representation of all of her insecurities when it comes to proving she belongs here and when it comes to her social isolation

This would just be the nail in that coffin

Weiss would be mad because grades were probably the one thing she thought she had over yang and now she has nothing and it’s a slap in the face of how god damn hard she’s been working

Not that she’d actually vocalize it, depending on if this is before or after the white fang reveal, if it’s after she’s probably upset about it but can deal with it alright if it’s before she’s def PISSEEDDDD

This isn’t me saying yang is perfect and that everyone should be soooo jealous of her or anything

I’m saying Weiss is one of the best written characters

And everything she does makes perfect sense

And that canonically

Weiss starts out as a lonely socially isolated insecure teenager girl, who was abused in a way that made it incredibly hard for her to navigate socializing, desperate to prove herself, working as hard as possible to do everything right

And she’s constantly standing next to the canonically popular, hot, tall, “party girl” character who’s been doing this all her life, who also is immediately super chummy with both of Weiss’s other teammates with seemingly no effort and on top of it had good grades

If I was Weiss I would’ve fucking strangled yang

AND she drives a motorcycle id fucking kill her

Weiss is so strong for eventually getting along with her it’s a huge sign of how fucking mature she is to constantly be improving herself as she does in the first seasons

Which I think is super because of the fact that yangs SOOOO older sister coded

And Weiss lovesss an older sister figure

Like yeah did it definitely add to her hate at first that Ruby and yang had a relationship she’s never had with her sister? Yeah for sure

But the SECOND that they slip into friendship they’re solid cause yang also loves a younger sister figure and Weiss is SUCH a middle child

Moral of the story is that I think it would really frustrate Weiss but depending on when it’s brought up and stuff she’d probably honestly take it really well cause she’s really good at dealing with this kind of thing at this point

After having to acknowledge that racism is wrong and your entire family’s evil and the way you’ve been thinking about the world your whole life is wrong and evil and needs to change

This is probably something she gets over kinda quick

[kerink]

No for REAL I am SO tired of reading an AU fic of Stan showing up to Ford and the story ends up being all about all the pain and suffering Stan is experiencing, meanwhile Ford is somehow all fine and dandy. I think there's one fic where Stan is brought to the hospital because of the shoulder burn and meanwhile Ford isn't getting any treatment. Like HELLO???? I get the appeal of fics where Ford learns about what Stan has been dealing with but literally any other time please! Like, sorry guys, it shouldn't be a competition but if it has to be, I think Ford is probably in way worse physical and mental pain than Stan is at the moment. Can we PLEASE stop downplaying it. it's like they took that exchange from the show, "F: you don't know what I've been up against. S: No, you don't know what I'VE been up against." and think Stan is totally in the right when in actuality it's a shining example of how much they're failing to communicate with each other. Cause YEAH SORRY I don't think anyone in Ford's situation is going to be concentrating on Stan's pain when OH GEE i'm vomiting up spiders, pulling a nail out of my hand, feeling bruises and potentially bone fractures from fights, the intense sleep deprivation and OH YEAH all the insane torture Bill put Ford through in his mind where there's no physical limitations?? Like, PLEASE GUYS. Any other time we can have Stan whump but NOT at this precise moment please!

i must be so insanely good at mentally filtering out fics, because so far every 80s era fic i've read has been either very equal for the stans or has been ford focused (pun not intended but welcome).

in my mind the main reason ford and stan don't communicate well in the 80s is because they both think the other has it better.

stan sees ford living in this huge house on a massive plot of land in a picturesque location and all he can think is wow, why did he never once reach out to help me. what a selfish asshole.

ford sees stan on TV selling his products, and yes he's pissed they're scams, but getting commercials on TV is expensive! why would ford have any reason to believe stan wasn't at the very least okay? ford thinking see, stanley was able to make something of himself, he just needed to be pushed out of the nest!

neither think to call the other during their 10 years apart because 1) stan doesn't feel worthy and 2) ford doesn't know stan needs it. i truly believe they both think the other will reach out when the time is right.

and they did! ford reached out and stan immediately came running.

and between ford's nightmare about stan and bill threatening stan with ford's suicide, what reason do we have to believe that if stan had reached out ford wouldn't have come running?

so the stans in the 80s in the show in canon. they don't communicate well because they fundamentally misunderstand each other's circumstances. both are starving and sleep deprived, ford is scared and stan is confused, and i can't imagine how unbelievably emotionally overwhelming their reunion must be even without all the bullshit.

i've been lucky that every 80s fic i've read has had some paranormal bullshit happen before ford goes through the portal that immediately clues stan into this being a not okay situation for ford, and immediately launching back into Ford's Protector mode.

just like i think that if rico and his gang had followed stan up to the shack, ford would have murdered them no problem. okay, well, at least incapacitated them.

both stan and ford are in really bad shape during their confrontation and i do think both of their pain deserves air to breathe, but i agree with what you said about how ford's circumstances are the more time-sensitive issue.

[jupitermoontarot24]

🥰Why Is Your Future Spouse "The One"?😍👀

💗WELCOME BACK WELCOME BACK 💗

COME ON DOWN TO GET YOUR READINGGGGGGGG!!!! 🎉🎊

YOU CAN GET MORE COOL READING AT MY PATREON -> HERE

ENJOY

PILE 1 ☺️

The reason this person is the one for you is because they treat you like a baby. they give you comfort, somebody that you can run to, you can run away from all your problems and come see them and they'll just let you be. this is somebody who wants to be your safe zone they don't want to stress you out, they want you to relieve your stress when you're with them. so you guys could cuddle a lot, they can hold you a lot just want to be touching you be around you. almost like a literal baby how the parent and the baby kind of always want to hold each other. and I feel like you feel the same way towards them and that's why they're the one for you. you could be that safe space for them as well, maybe you have been that safe space for people and they have as well but you're really there for each other. This person loves your body as well like you could have them under a spell by your body, the way you walk, though you talk. yeah this person is obsessed with you I don't think you have to worry about this person looking at other people or having wondering eyes or wanting to cheat because you got it. whatever body size, whatever space you're in, this person loves it. You know what it is that this person loves you unconditionally. that's why they're the one because it doesn't matter what version of you they will still love you. like a parent is supposed to love a child unconditionally it doesn't matter what hairstyle or if they gain weight or what profession you are supposed to love your child this how this person loves you. 

Also this is a person who takes communicating very seriously so they want you to express to them how you feel. This might be somebody who is going to think logically about the situation instead of just getting upset and letting their emotions cloud everything and they're going to do the same for you. This person is the one because they're not going to let you walk out easily, they actually want to be with you and they're going to show this. this is not somebody that's going to give up on the relationship even if you want to but not in that way lol. this person wants overall happiness, not anything toxic or they want to bring toxic traits out of you. this is somebody that is going to want to exhaust every Outlet before you break up so they're going to want to talk about it, they're going to want to get outside opinions, maybe they're going to want to talk to maybe somebody close to you or they're going to want to go to counseling, they might want to try to start a family, they're going to want to do something. I think it would turn you on how much this person would try to make you stay together. for real they're booking the counseling appointment, they're really ready for it, they're getting dressed for it, planning out the session, really active in counseling, even taking notes lol. and I think this person is also a really good provider. not just financially but also spiritually they're going to want to feed you good things, positive affirmations and speak highly of you because they see you very highly. they also want to Tire you out in the bedroom so you don't leave them as well lol jk . This person is not that innocent though I do feel like they would try to get you into something fast. they would try to get you into a relationship or get you pregnant if that resonates for you guys. they want something long-term. they will be trying to deepen the soul tie that you have spiritually while also deepening the relationship you have in the 3D World. They are the one because they're also really protective over you. they give you everything you need and everything you deserve so it's no reason for anybody else to interfere with your relationship. there is no need for third parties because this person treats you amazing and they provide and they nurture so people really don't have the chance to come in. then they hold you to a high standard like I said before so I don't feel like they give their suitors the impression that they want them as well. They only have eyes for you. 

It really would be so hard to break up with them because they would just manifest being able to have these conversations with you. 

Pile 2 🌍

This person is the one because they think your face card is the best. this person could be attracted to your face specifically. Their type is your specific face, that's it. So they could like looking at pictures of you, they could like receiving pictures of you, you guys might send pictures to each other a lot. So this person is the one because they really like you for you. you could change up your look a lot and they like that about you. so you can have had short hair, long hair, maybe you get a tan, maybe you changed up your style this person likes you in all stages. this person is very protective over your body. They really love your body. I think this person if you are a feminine they just love the essence of a woman or a feminine so it's like it doesn't really matter what your body looks like. This person is the one because they're the type of person to heal you, it's almost like they're so body obsessed with you that they could heal you if anything were to happen God forbid.  say if you were to become ill or get into an accident they would take such good care of your body they would heal you. they would give you really good foods and juices, they would probably find a cure because they would be so conscious of your body but not in a bad way at all. it's just like this person takes really good care of you, like you would take really good care of your dog or your child or your car not to compare you to an object but yeah. even if it were a mental thing this person would almost enter in your subconscious and heal you there as well.  this is somebody who would be at physical therapy with you, they are actively be helping you to walk, helping you  move, helping you support yourself. this person is a really good support system. Because of that I feel like this person pleases you very easily in the bedroom. they make you cum really easy. you turn this person on. 

This person is the one because they don't like being

ed to anybody else. this person cares about their reputation, they care about who they're connected to and they don't want to be connected to anybody but you. Yeah this is the type of person that's like I wasn't with her/ him I don't want them, I want my family at the end of the day. yeah they would hate to see you with anybody else. This person is the one because they are literally your other half. they could know what you need and what your body craves on an energetic level before you have to speak it. this is somebody that helps in transforming you energetically, mentally, emotionally and opens up your heart.. I think it's the same for the both of you guys so they could feel like this as well towards you. but this person eases your mind because they also get downloads and messages from the spiritual realm and their ancestors and they listen to it and trust their intuition. both of you guys listen to your intuition so you can let go they allow you to let go and nurture your inner self because you don't have to worry about everything or have as much responsibilities. 

Pile 3 💗🧐

This person is the one because this is somebody you can be comfortable around. I don't feel like you have to be performative around this person or they have to be performative around you. You probably like the same shows,you probably have the same sense of humor. they could like to drink, you could like to drink, they could like to smoke, you could like to smoke. Same hobbies maybe? I feel like this is somebody you can grow with, somebody that's mature but still has that inner child that they also bring out within you. I think this is somebody who just matches your flow so if you feel like being a homebody they probably feel like being a homebody if you feel like going out they probably feel like going out. You guys can have kids together or have a blended family for some. it doesn't matter how old you are, you're always going to have fun with this person. you're always going to be goofy, always laughing, it's always going to be a good time. This person is the one because they keep you safe. you're able to be in your light and dark energy. this person keeps you safe either way. you know how sometimes it can be dangerous to be in your light energy because it could potentially make you naive to a situation seeing the good in somebody or seeing the good in a situation but this person protects you in your light being and allows you to have freedom to look at things blissfully. yeah this person creates environments to where you're able to be light or be dark when you choose to be. so they might take you somewhere like a museum or a play or arcade where you can be light and then they might take you to a boxing match or the club or NASCAR lol idk where you can be dark. they're going to back you up either way. yeah I think you can play into these characters so heavily when you're with this person because they orbit around you during these times. no one is getting close to you because they're orbiting you. that also helps to protect both of you because I feel like since this person is able to orbit you, you're able to call shots and throw shots from a protected area. kind of like having each other's Back. you know it's like in combat and you hug each other and fight instead of facing back to back if you know what I mean. yes so before someone could attack you this person got them and you would do the same. 

This is somebody who is going to make it easy to follow your intuition with them. I swear this is somebody who keeps you in alignment. 

This is somebody who could speak for you, offer you things, could pay for you. you could do the same it's almost like this person trusts you and vice versa. you guys make decisions for each other. so if something were to happen God forbid they know that you will make the right choice. You would be this person's emergency contact Vice versa. I think this person has really good discernment as well, they could tell you who is really in your life to be close to you and who wants to gain something. this person has a lot of knowledge and wisdom. this is somebody who wants to keep you happy. they don't want you to leave the relationship so this is somebody who's constantly giving or upgrading or trying to make sure you are content within your life and within the relationship. This is somebody you definitely can trust with your secrets and I feel like they feel the same. they're coming up as a king of Cups so they are very endearing and they actually care about your feelings. this  is somebody who lives by the model of happy wife happy life happy partner happy life. I think at the end of the day both of you guys just know how to keep each other happy. you cater to each other's feelings and you prioritize them. you guys have a very healthy communication Style and this person creates space for you to be honest with your feelings. so that's beautiful this person doesn't care about Aesthetics they want the true foundation and your relationship to be golden. they want to see you ugly cry, they want to see you goofy smile, they want to see you cry tears of joy they want it all. 

Pile 4 🌃🖼️👧🏽

This person is the one because this is somebody you have a lot of fun with. being with them could feel like a permanent baecation. feels very sexy, light, young. you could be young or maybe you met this person when you were young but either way that feeling stays. Not going to lie I feel like this is somebody who you're not in contact with right now this could be an ex. This person is the one because they never stop missing you. I think this is somebody who will forever pray for you to be in their life, so this is somebody who will probably always keep up with you even if you guys do part ways and they were to move on. I feel like they will still check up on you. I think this person is the one because they allow you to be very present and in the moment. this is somebody who gases you up,  they can speak very highly of you to you and others as well but I feel like this person really makes you feel amazing aka bossy and at the same time I think you give this person a lot of ego deaths. so I feel like this is probably somebody who has had a lot of people boosting them up their whole life maybe? lol the fact that you give this person an ego deaths it's just so rewarding. I feel like this is somebody who understands your moods,  they understand feeling bitchy and then feeling okay. but this is not somebody who's going to shame you for feeling any type of way. 

This person is the one because they fuel ego deaths for you as well but it's more of an intuition thing. it's like this person fuels your intuition with rebirth so you can cause them ego deaths and they cause you rebirths. So maybe you've experienced some type of Darkness with this person like maybe you poured into them and they didn't pour back? or maybe they do now… take it how it resonates. This person is very confident in themselves and I feel like because of that they have that to give. they definitely have confidence to give. and maybe you've gone through so much ego  death that you have those to give. you could have just walked the Earth humbly and maybe you didn't have the most praise but I think this person Saw you and they wanted to give that and I think they needed a ego death really bad they needed it a lot because they had a lot of junk around them that they needed to let go. This person is the one because they can see that you're a star. they could see that in you immediately. tell you where you're not supposed to be like lol you're not supposed to be doing certain things, around certain people or in certain environments and this person does their best to shift the narrative. 

This person is the one because they put you on a pedestal. this person wants to be your right hand, your left hand and  your shadow. they want you to be the Sun, the moon and the stars. this person is the one because they're going to choose you every time they're always going to want to be with you. I don't even think you know how much this person holds you up to high regards sometimes. but I think you guys balance each other out and the relationship is very balanced and you just allow each other to be human. Theirs not a lot of fluff in the relationship that's not needed. your relationship is not based on little lies and little secrets. your relationship is built on devotion and passion and comfort.

CHECK OUT MORE ON MY PATREON!!!!

[tinyshyteacup]

Taglist: @kellynickelsgirl00 @i-doutt-it @beth-isnt-home @darylandbethfanforever9 @brianna-merlim @pumpkinkpieandtomato @smashleywow @imadisneyprincessiswear @clementineslawyer @pandaofsilentdeath @dixonsbridexx @imadisneyprincessiswear @staley83 @death-in-a-tar0t-card @straw--b3rry

----------------------------------------------------------

TW: cussing, Merle is well ... Merle, angst, walkers (Zombies), gaslighting, manipulation, boxing match, bleeding, vomit, alcohol consumption, violence, Woodbury, the Governor.

Part 10

Between Brothers - Part 11

The winter had settled over Woodbury like a heavy blanket, thick and unforgiving. The frost crunched under Merle's boots as he made his way to the pits, his breath forming white clouds in the frigid air. The cold bit through his jacket, but it was nothing compared to the bite of survival you'd known before Woodbury.

Damn glad the she's warm inside, he thought, adjusting his grip on the metal pole he used for walker wrangling. Curled up under them blankets in those thick winter pajamas, probably still sleepin' like an angel. Wonder if she's dreamin' about me... bet she is, deep down. Bet she's got her legs all tangled up in them sheets, that thick flannel riding up just enough to show off them pretty thighs.

The thought made him grin despite the cold, his body responding to the mental images. Living in the same apartment, sharing the same space - it was torture and paradise all rolled into one. You trusted him completely, padding around in those winter pajamas like he wasn't a man with needs.

But he was patient. Had to be. You were the kind of girlie who deserved better than a one-handed redneck with more scars than sense. Still didn't stop him from wanting to spread you out on that kitchen table and eat you like his last meal, make you come so hard you'd forget every other man who ever existed.

"Ah, Merle! Right on time," Milton called out from beside the walker pits, his breath visible in the cold air. He was bundled up in layers, looking like a scarecrow wrapped in blankets. "We've got quite the selection today. Three fresh specimens, minimal decay."

"Morning to you too, Milty," Merle drawled, eyeing the walkers shuffling around in the pit below. "You sure are cheerful for a man about to poke at dead folks."

Milton adjusted his glasses, seemingly immune to Merle's sarcasm. "Science waits for no one, not even winter. These cold temperatures are actually quite beneficial - slows decomposition, gives us better data on motor function in sub-zero conditions."

Merle lowered the noose-pole into the pit, expertly snaring the first walker around the neck. The thing snarled and clawed at the air, its movements sluggish from the cold. "You know what your problem is, Milty? You think too damn much. Sometimes a dead bastard is just a dead bastard."

"Perhaps, but understanding their behavioral patterns could be crucial for long-term survival strategies." Milton made notes on his clipboard as Merle hauled the walker up. "Speaking of behavioral patterns, how is your ... roommate?"

Merle's grip tightened on the pole, his jaw clenching. Last time Milton had gotten too friendly was at that community dinner, filling your head with theories about biters retaining consciousness. Merle had found you later, crying your eyes out over the possibility that every walker they'd killed might have been aware, might have been screaming inside their own heads. Took him the better part of two hours to calm you down, and even then you'd been shaky for days.

"Say what now?" Merle's voice carried a warning edge.

"Your friend Merle. I was simply wondering how is cohabitation with someone who isn't actually your romantic partner going for you ?." Milton said it so matter-of-factly, like he was discussing the weather. "It must create certain... moral issues."

The walker Merle was restraining suddenly seemed less important than the skinny scientist standing too close to subjects that weren't his business. "What the hell you getting at, Milty?"

"Nothing untoward, I assure you. It's just that from an anthropological standpoint, the dynamic is fascinating. Two unrelated adults sharing intimate living space, one clearly harboring romantic inclinations while the other remains unaw—"

"You finish that sentence and I'm gonna feed you to these biters piece by piece," Merle snarled, his voice dropping to something dangerous. The walker in his grip thrashed harder, as if sensing the tension. "And let me make something real clear to you, you piece of shit - I take care of that girl. Make sure she's safe, make sure nothing bad happens to her. She trusts me, and I damn well earned that trust."

His eyes blazed with fury at the implication. "You think I'd hurt her? You think I'd take something she didn't want to give? Boy, you don't know shit about me or what kind of man I am when it comes to her."

Milton shrank back further, realizing he'd stepped over a line he didn't even know existed.

"I protect my own," Merle continued, his voice low and deadly. "Don't you dare stand there and act like I'm some kind of animal who can't control himself around the girlie's."

Milton took a step back, his face pale. "I didn't mean to overstep—"

"Remember what happened last time you got a little too friendly with my girl?" Merle's eyes were cold as the winter air. "When you filled her head with all that bullshit about biters being conscious, made her cry thinking about all the people we might've killed? You remember how that ended for you?"

"Yes," Milton whispered, unconsciously touching his jaw where Merle had connected with his fist after finding you sobbing in the apartment.

"Good. 'Cause next time I catch you upsetting her with your sick theories or sniffing around, there won't be enough left of you for your precious experiments." Merle secured the walker to the restraining table with practiced efficiency. "She's got enough nightmares without you adding to 'em."

Milton nodded frantically, scurrying to the truck. The rest of their interaction was purely professional, the scientist having learned his lesson about boundaries.

Little doe don't need some four-eyed freak putting ideas in her head, Merle thought as he worked, his mind drifting back to filthier thoughts. She's confused enough as it is, bless her heart. Always asking me if I'm alright, if I need anything, bending over in those damn pajamas like she don't know what she does to me just by breathing.

The cold air did nothing to cool the heat building in his gut. Months of living with you, months of wanting what he couldn't have.

After delivering three walkers to Milton's makeshift laboratory, Merle was heading back through town when the Governor intercepted him.

"Merle! Just the man I wanted to see." The Governor's smile was warm despite the cold, like he had some secret that pleased him. "Walk with me. I have a proposition that might interest you."

They strolled through the quiet streets, past windows glowing with warm light and the promise of domestic tranquility. Merle found himself thinking about you again, probably awake by now, maybe making that coffee that always smelled better when you made it. Girl's got magic hands, he thought, remembering how you'd fixed his stump so gently, never once looking at him like he was broken.

"You know, Merle," the Governor said, his voice thoughtful, "I've been watching you these past few weeks. Impressive work on the supply runs, excellent instincts on patrol. But I can't help feeling like we're not utilizing your full potential."

Here we go, Merle thought, his radar pinging. Man wants something. Question is what.

"I need you to do something for me," the Governor said, breaking into his thoughts. "Something that requires your particular skill set."

"What kind of something?" Merle kept his voice neutral, but his eyes were already scanning for exits. Old habits.

The Governor led him to a secured building Merle had never been inside. When they entered, the smell hit him first - death and decay, but controlled, contained. There were several walkers chained to the walls, their movements restricted but not entirely eliminated. The setup was too organized, too deliberate to be just storage.

"I need you to remove their teeth and fingernails," the Governor said casually, like he was asking Merle to fix a leaky faucet.

Merle stared at the walkers, then at the Governor. "You want me to what now?"

"Teeth and fingernails. All of them. Make them safe but keep them... functional."

Safe but functional. What the hell does that mean? Merle's survival instincts were pinging like crazy. Nothing about this felt right. "Safe for what?"

The Governor smiled that politician's smile of his, the one that made promises without saying anything concrete. "Entertainment."

"Come again?"

"Picture this, Merle." The Governor gestured grandly, like he was painting a vision in the air. "An arena. Crowds cheering. Skilled fighters facing off against each other surrounded by defanged opponents in controlled combat. Give people something to cheer for, something to take their minds off the harshness of our reality."

An arena. With walkers. Merle's first instinct was to call the man crazy, but something in the Governor's tone made him pause. The man wasn't crazy - he was calculating. This wasn't some random idea, this was a plan.

"You want people fighting walkers for fun?" Merle asked slowly.

"Not just any people. Heroes. Men like you, Merle." The Governor's eyes gleamed with enthusiasm, or maybe something darker. "You've got the skills, the presence, the natural charisma that commands attention. People would see what I see - a warrior, a protector, someone willing to risk everything for their community."

Damn, when he puts it like that... Despite his better judgment, Merle found himself considering it. He'd done worse things for worse people, back when he was breaking legs for money. At least this had a purpose, gave him a chance to show off what he could do. Lord knows I got skills worth showin' off.

"Think about it," the Governor continued, his voice taking on that persuasive quality that had convinced Merle to stay in Woodbury in the first place. "Controlled environment. Declawed opponents. You'd be in complete control, showing off decades of survival experience to an appreciative audience."

The Governor began pacing, his hands animated as he painted the picture. "People are getting soft, Merle. Comfortable. They're forgetting what it takes to survive out there, forgetting to appreciate the men who keep them safe. This would remind them. This would make them remember that they need warriors like you."

Warriors like me. Usually, people called him a lot of things - redneck, asshole, liability - but never warrior. Never hero.

"You'd be the star of Woodbury," the Governor pressed, reading Merle's expression perfectly. "The man everyone looks up to. The champion they cheer for. And your girl..." He paused meaningfully. "She'd see you as the hero you really are. Women love a champion, Merle. Love a man who can provide not just safety, but excitement."

Hell, maybe he's right, Merle thought, his imagination running wild. He could picture it clearly - you in the crowd, watching him take down opponents with skill and showmanship. Your eyes wide with admiration instead of that careful wariness you sometimes got when you thought he wasn't looking. Lil doe's been cooped up all winter, probably bored out of her pretty little mind. Could use some excitement in her life.

"People need this," the Governor continued, his voice dropping to something almost conspiratorial. "They need to remember what it feels like to cheer for something, to feel alive. Winter's been hard on everyone. Morale is low. But give them a spectacle, give them a reason to feel proud of their community, their protectors..."

The Governor moved closer, his voice taking on that intimate quality that made you feel like you were sharing secrets. "You're exactly the kind of man who can give that to them, Merle. You've got that natural swagger, that confidence that makes people pay attention. And after everything you've survived, everything you've overcome..."

"You really think I could do this?" Merle asked, trying to sound casual even as his chest swelled with pride. Christ, when did I start needin' validation like some kind of puppy?

"I don't think, Merle. I know." The Governor's voice was full of conviction. "You're brutal when you need to be, smart when it counts, and you've got that natural charisma that makes people remember you. Plus, you've survived this long with that disability of yours. That's not just impressive - that's inspiring. That's the kind of story people need to hear."

Most people tiptoed around his missing hand like it was something shameful, something to be whispered about behind his back. The Governor made it sound like a badge of honor, proof of his toughness rather than evidence of his failures.

"Think about the message it sends," the Governor continued, warming to his theme. "Here's a man who lost his hand and kept fighting. Who adapted, who overcame, who didn't let anything stop him from protecting what matters. That's heroic, Merle. That's legendary."

The word hit Merle right in his ego. He'd spent his whole life being the redneck, the loose canon, the one who couldn't be trusted with anything important. Daryl was the tracker, the sensitive one, the only one capable of kindness ... Hell, thats why Daddy had spent years beating the breath out of them. Merle was just the muscle, the wild card who caused more problems than he solved.

But here was the Governor, looking at him like he saw something worth respecting. Like he saw potential that went beyond just being good at hurting people.

"Ain't like I got much else goin' for me. Might as well put on a show if people want to see one."

"Don't sell yourself short," the Governor said smoothly. "You've got more going for you than you realize. Your girl certainly seems to think so."

My girl. The possessive warmth that spread through Merle's chest at those words was stronger than whiskey. You weren't his girl, not really, but the way the Governor said it made it sound like a fact rather than wishful thinking.

"She's been through a lot," Merle found himself saying. "Deserves to feel safe, to have something good to look forward to. Maybe even feel proud of the man who's been lookin' out for her."

"Exactly." The Governor's smile was triumphant, like Merle had just proved his point. "She'll get to see you for what you really are - not just a survivor, but a champion. The kind of man who doesn't just endure, but conquers."

The praise settled into Merle's chest like warm whiskey, filling up spaces he hadn't even realized were empty. When was the last time someone had called him a champion? When had anyone ever seen potential in a Dixon beyond there capacity for violence?

"'Course," Merle said, his voice carefully casual, "if I'm gonna do this, I want guarantees about safety protocols. And I want to make sure my girl's taken care of if something goes wrong."

"Of course," the Governor said immediately, like he'd been expecting this concern. "Your girl will have the best seat in the house, right beside me in the where she'll be completely safe."

The image was seductive - you dressed up nice, sitting in a place of honor, watching him perform like the warrior he'd always known he could be.

"She'll get to watch her man become a legend," the Governor continued, his voice full of certainty. "Watch him become the hero this town needs. And trust me, Merle - there's nothing more attractive to a woman than watching her man succeed."

Her man. There it was again, that possessive warmth. The Governor kept saying it like it was true, like you belonged to him in some way.

"Alright," Merle said finally, his decision crystallizing. "I'll do it."

"Wonderful" The Governor extended his hand, and Merle shook it with his good one.

As they walked back through town, Merle found himself standing a little straighter, his chest a little more puffed out. For the first time in longer than he could remember, someone was counting on him for something other than just raw violence. Someone saw him as more than just a useful psychopath.

The first night of the arena fights, the cold seemed less biting somehow, warmed by the excitement of sixty-eight people gathered around a makeshift ring. They'd constructed it out the back of the old warehouse, with bleacher seating and flood lights that made everything seem theatrical, larger than life.

You sat beside the Governor, bundled up in every warm piece of clothing you owned, your breath visible in small puffs despite the heaters they'd brought in. He pressed a warm mug into your hands - mulled wine that smelled of cinnamon and cloves, a luxury you hadn't tasted since before the world ended.

"Drink up," he said with a paternal smile. "It'll help with the cold."

The wine was sweet and warming, spreading heat through your chest as you sipped it. The crowd was buzzing with anticipation, voices raised in excited chatter and bets being placed, but you felt sick to your stomach despite the alcohol's mellowing effect.

"Magnificent turnout," the Governor said, his voice warm with satisfaction. "Look at their faces - they're alive again. This is what community looks like."

You nodded absently, your eyes searching the crowd for familiar faces, trying to gauge how many people were actually excited versus how many were just going along with it. The energy was infectious, you had to admit, but something about it felt wrong.

"I'm not sure about this," you said quietly, your accent making the words sound smaller somehow. The wine was making you feel floaty, less sharp around the edges. "What if someone gets hurt? What if—"

"That's exactly the point," the Governor interrupted gently, refilling your mug before his hand found yours and squeezed reassuringly. "The possibility of danger, the thrill of survival - it reminds us what we're living for. What we're fighting to protect."

You took another sip of the mulled wine, the warmth spreading through your limbs and making the harsh lights seem softer, more forgiving.

The crowd suddenly roared, and you looked up to see Merle strutting into the ring like he owned it, his knife-hand gone leaving only the metal prosthetic glinting under the lights, his grin wide and confident. He was shirtless despite the cold, his chest puffed out with masculine bravado, scars and tattoos telling the story of a life lived hard.

"WOODBURY!" he bellowed, raising his arms to the crowd. "Y'all ready to see some real entertainment?"

The response was deafening. People were on their feet, screaming his name, and you could see him feeding off their energy, puffing up with pride and showmanship like he was born for this moment.

He looks so... happy, you thought, confused by the mixture of pride and terror warring in your chest. You'd never seen him like this - completely in his element, beloved by a crowd, the center of attention in the best possible way.

A younger man entered the ring, lean and wiry with the compact build of someone who'd learned to fight out of necessity rather than choice. He looked nervous but determined, his eyes finding someone in the crowd - a woman with worry etched across her face.

"Oh God," you whispered, realizing this wasn't just entertainment. These were real people with real relationships, real stakes. "His girlfriend's watching."

"Wife, actually," the Governor said conversationally. "Just married last month. Sweet ceremony. She's worried, of course, but Crowley insisted. Pride, you know how it is."

Your stomach dropped. This wasn't just a show - it was two men risking everything for the approval of people they barely knew. You took a larger gulp of wine, trying to steady your nerves, but it only made the lights seem brighter, the crowd's energy more intoxicating.

Then they released the walkers - three of them, stumbling and reaching but somehow less threatening than usual. It took you a moment to realize why, no teeth, no fingernails, just grasping hands and empty mouths that couldn't tear flesh.

"Brilliant, isn't it?" the Governor said, leaning closer so you could hear him over the crowd. "All the excitement, none of the real danger. Though don't tell the audience that - they need to believe there's genuine risk. The fear has to feel real, even if it isn't."

You watched in horrified fascination as both men began to move, circling each other while keeping one eye on the declawed walkers. Merle was in his element, trash-talking and showboating, but Crowley was all business - focused, methodical, treating this like the life-or-death struggle it appeared to be.

"Come on, boy!" Merle called out, his voice carrying that familiar mix of condescension and amusement. "You gonna dance with me or you gonna let them dead bastards do all the work?"

Crowley didn't respond, just kept moving, and you realized he was smart - letting Merle wear himself out with the theatrics while conserving his own energy. But the crowd was eating up Merle's performance, cheering every taunt, every swagger.

The first real exchange came when one of the walkers got too close to Crowley. Merle used the distraction to rush in, throwing a wild haymaker that Crowley barely ducked. The younger man came up with an uppercut that caught Merle in the jaw, drawing a grunt and an approving roar from the crowd.

"Now we're talkin'!" Merle laughed, wiping a trickle of blood from his lip. "Got some fight in you after all!"

They circled each other again, both men breathing hard now, sweat gleaming under the harsh lights despite the cold. You found yourself leaning forward, caught up despite yourself in the brutal ballet playing out before you. The wine had loosened something in your chest, made you feel more present and yet somehow detached from the violence.

"Another?" the Governor asked quietly, already refilling your mug. The gesture seemed so normal, so civilized, that it made the brutality in the ring feel almost surreal.

Merle threw a combination - left hook, right cross - but Crowley slipped both punches and countered with a body shot that doubled Merle over. The crowd's roar shifted, some cheering for the underdog now, others yelling for Merle to get up and fight back.

"This is what they need," the Governor said in your ear, his voice almost reverent. "Look at them - they're unified, focused on something other than their fears. This brings them together."

But you were focused on Merle, who was straightening up with that familiar stubborn set to his jaw that meant someone was about to pay dearly for underestimating him. His eyes had gone cold, calculating, and you recognized the shift from showman to predator. The wine made everything seem slightly dreamlike, softening the edges of your worry into something more manageable.

"Alright, college boy," he growled, his prosthetic catching the light as he raised his hands. "Playtime's over."

What followed was a masterclass in brutal efficiency. Merle might be older, might be missing a hand, but he'd been fighting longer than Crowley had been alive. He used every dirty trick in the book - an elbow to the temple, a knee to the solar plexus, even using one of the chained walkers as a shield when Crowley tried to tackle him.

The crowd was going wild, on their feet screaming, but you found yourself gripping the Governor's arm without realizing it, your movements slightly unsteady from the wine. This was too real, too visceral. You could see the fear in Crowley's eyes as he realized he was outmatched, could hear his wife screaming from the stands.

"Stop it," you whispered, but your voice was lost in the roar of the crowd. The alcohol made your tongue feel thick, your protests less sharp than they should have been.

Merle had Crowley backed against the chain-link now, landing punch after punch while the younger man tried desperately to cover up. Blood was streaming from Crowley's nose, his left eye already swelling shut.

"That's enough!" you found yourself on your feet, shouting. "Stop the fight!"

But no one could hear you over the crowd, or if they could, they weren't listening. This was what they'd come to see - raw, primal combat that reminded them they were still alive.

Merle stepped back suddenly, his chest heaving, and for a moment you thought he was going to show mercy. Instead, he turned to the crowd, arms raised, drinking in their adoration.

"Y'all want more?" he bellowed, and the answering roar shook the walls.

That moment of showboating nearly cost him. Crowley, summoning reserves he didn't know he had, launched himself off the fence in a desperate tackle that sent both men crashing to the ground. They rolled, grappling, each trying to gain the dominant position while the walkers strained against their chains just feet away.

Crowley ended up on top, raining down punches, but Merle's experience showed. He bucked his hips, rolled, and suddenly Crowley was on his back with Merle's prosthetic pressed against his throat.

"Give up pretty boy," Merle snarled, not loud enough for the crowd to hear but clear enough for you to read his lips.

Crowley's face was turning red, his hands clawing at the metal cutting off his air supply. His wife was screaming from the stands, and you found yourself half-standing again, torn between horror and fascination.

Finally, desperately, Crowley tapped out.

Merle held the position for just a moment longer - before releasing his hold and standing up. Crowley gasped and rolled onto his side, alive but thoroughly beaten.

Merle basked in it, arms raised, bloody and victorious, looking like some ancient gladiator who'd just conquered Rome. His eyes found yours in the crowd, and the grin he gave you was pure predatory satisfaction.

When it was over, when the crowd had finally dispersed and the fighters had been helped away, you sat in the sudden quiet feeling hollowed out and strangely exhilarated. The wine had left you with more then a pleasant buzz that made everything seem slightly unreal, like you'd watched a particularly vivid dream rather than actual violence.

Through the haze of alcohol, you could see Merle making his way through the dispersing crowd, sweat still gleaming on his chest, blood spattered across his knuckles, the metal cap catching the flickering light like a blade.

"Is Crowley... will he be alright?, " you said, your accent thick with drink and emotion. The brutality you'd witnessed had shaken you more than you cared to admit.

The Governor's smile didn't waver, but something cold flickered in his eyes. "Crowley knew what he was getting into. Sometimes a man has to pay the price for challenging his betters."

Before you could ask what he meant, Merle was there, still breathing hard from the fight, his good hand reaching for you.

"Hey sugar" Merle said, his voice rough with adrenaline. His eyes were still bright with the violence he'd just unleashed, and when he looked at you, there was something predatory in his gaze that you'd never seen before.

"Well, Merle, she's all yours now," the Governor said, his words carrying weight that made your skin crawl even through your intoxicated state. "Been asking for you all evening, haven't you, sweetheart? Couldn't take her eyes off you during the fight."

The dismissal was clear, as you were being guided away from the arena, Merle's hand firm on your back as he steered you through the cooling night air toward your shared apartment.

Everything felt strange, like you were floating slightly outside your own body. "The way you fought... your strong... but Merle, you didn't have to be so rough with Crowley. He's just—"

"Crowley's fine," Merle cut you off, his voice sharp with leftover aggression. "Man wanted to test himself against me, he got what he asked for. That's how it works in the real world, lil-doe. Strong survive, weak learn their place."

His casual dismissal of the other man's pain echoed the Governor's words in a way that made your stomach churn. This wasn't like Merle - or maybe it was exactly like him, and you'd just never seen this side before.

It wasn't until he got you inside your apartment, closing the door behind you both with a finality that seemed to echo in the small space, that Merle really looked at you. His expression shifted from satisfied to concerned as he took in your flushed cheeks, glassy eyes, and the way you swayed slightly even standing still.

"Sugar... how much hooch did you have ?"

"Not much," you protested, though the words came out slightly slurred. "The Governor kept... he said it would help with the cold, and I didn't want to be rude... kept bringing me more..."

Understanding dawned in Merle's eyes, followed quickly by anger. "Aw, hell. That son of a bitch." His jaw clenched as pieces clicked into place. "You ain't used to drinkin', are you, lil' doe?"

Before you could answer, your stomach lurched violently. You clapped a hand over your mouth and rushed toward the bathroom, barely making it before the evening's wine came back up. The retching was violent and embarrassing, your body rejecting the alcohol with prejudice as your system tried to purge itself of the unfamiliar poison.

Merle was there immediately, his good hand holding your hair back, his voice surprisingly gentle despite the rage you could feel radiating from him. "Easy now, darlin'. Get it all out."

When the worst of it passed, you slumped against the bathroom wall. Your head was spinning, and the brutality of the fight kept flashing behind your eyelids - the sound of fists hitting flesh, the crowd's bloodthirsty cheers, the way Merle had looked standing over Crowley's fallen form.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I didn't mean to... I'm not used to... and the fight, it was so violent, I—"

"Ain't nothing to apologize for." There was anger in his voice, but not directed at you. "Governor should've known better than to keep pourin' drinks into a little thing like you. Should've been lookin' out for you, not..." He trailed off, his expression darkening as he processed what had really happened.

He helped you to your feet, sitting you on the edge of the bed and knelt to untie your boots, his movements efficient but charged with an energy that made your skin prickle.

"Arms up, darlin'," he said softly, reaching for the hem of your sweater.

The rational part of his mind - the part that wasn't clouded by adrenaline and months of the Governor's carefully planted suggestions - knew this was dangerous territory. You were vulnerable, trusting, barely conscious, and the way you'd looked at him after the fight... made him feel like he was some kind of hero instead of the violent man he really was.

The devil on his shoulder however was working overtime, fueled by months of the Governor's poison about what women really wanted, what men were entitled to after proving their strength.

She's yours for the taking. All soft and doopey, she won't even remember it clearly ... go on, she'd probably thank you after.

These weren't thoughts he'd ever had before Woodbury, before the Governor's subtle comments about conquest.

Merle might've been a bastard, but he'd never been the kind to take advantage of a helpless girl. That was a line he'd never crossed. Not when she can't really choose. Not when she trusts you this much and you'd be betraying every bit of that trust.

You'd seen what he really was in that ring, seen the violence he was capable of, and it had scared you. The realization hit him like a physical blow.

"There we go, sugar," he said, his voice rougher than he intended as he fought his own demons. "Let's get you tucked in."

He guided you under the covers of your own bed - your bed, not his - and pulled the blanket up to your chin. You stirred slightly, and when he moved to gently sweep the hair from your forehead, you flinched. The reaction was small but unmistakable, and it hit him like a slap.

"Jesus," he said quietly, his voice rough with emotion. He caught your chin gently, turning your face so you could see him clearly despite your unfocused gaze. "Look at me, I would never put hands on you. Never. You hear me, lil' doe ?"

Your eyes searched his face, some of the fear fading as you saw the sincerity there. He waited until you nodded, until some of the tension left your shoulders, before he stood.

"Get some rest, sugar. I'll be right next door if you need anything."

Merle made his way to his own bedroom, closing the door behind him with barely controlled restraint. Once alone, he scrubbed his hand down his face, the weight of what had almost happened - what he'd almost let the Governor manipulate him into doing - crashing over him like a wave.

With a frustrated growl, he grabbed the empty whiskey bottle from his nightstand and hurled it against the wall. It shattered with a satisfying crash, but it did nothing to quiet the storm of self-loathing and anger churning in his gut.

[freedelusionshere]

I think Syd wants Richie to rely on besides her dad because she’s terrified of ending up alone.

She lost her mom, she has no siblings. Her friends are not a constant presence in her life because she put everything into the restaurant. Which her dad tried to talk to her about in past seasons.

In her mind, all she has is her dad, and messy little Carmen has been right there reaching towards her and getting shut out even when her dad ends up in the hospital, so he thinks that he’s the problem in her way.

And he’s getting rejected again by someone he loves, but he learned this season that Mikey really loved him and was proud of him, even though he wasn’t there. He wants to be able to be present.

When Syd stops talking to him during service, he comes to find her to talk to her. He’s not the one being avoidant now, it’s Syd.

Like the plot of the two lovers in The Red Shoes, which @whenmemorydies pointed out, in Syd’s dream she is wearing red shoes and on stage in a theater when her mother did community theater.

But a lot of the surrealist imagery about addiction to career in that movie takes place on a stage. The red ballet slippers represent the ballerina’s career ambitions to the point it possesses her.

(Also, the theater troupe in that movie is like a found family as well.)

The director/maestro character in that film isn’t even Shapiro, he’s a stand-in for the industry/capitalism itself, and how it will drain them both dry and will keep asking for more until there’s nothing left to give.

Syd’s at the top of her game inside the restaurant right now, and he’s not. I don’t think he’s bitter about that. That ended in S3. He knows she’s better and he’s always known and he knows he’s also good, but it didn’t make him good at stuff that really mattered.

Carmy has realized, because he’s fallen deeply in love with Syd, the career is not enough for him, and maybe never was, but he’s not trying to stop her or be an obstacle anymore.

He had been doing that and trying to slow her down because he couldn’t handle it, and wasn’t being honest about where he was at because he thought he could make her fall in love with him by being that. And he tried to give her every material thing he has.

But we know that’s not what Syd is after, she is being chased by something herself and dealing with her own fears and blocks around that. Family, but what if they don’t feel safe like her dad?

What if they are messy AF white people?

What if she doesn’t want to be The Bear?

What if he will push her and make her have to be honest about stuff that’s not about the restaurant?

So I think now, Carmy will try to figure out something outside of the restaurant so he can figure this out. Richie and Syd asked him about plans and it weirdly sounds like he has actually thought about it and he said he’s afraid of “math” under the table with all the bears at the wedding which might actually turn out to be very true with Ebra and The Beef window getting franchised.

Syd and Carmy have kind of flipped positions from where they began in S1. Syd had a plan then and Carmy was the chef with the clout.

But I’m hoping Carmy is now the one who will remember what they promised each other in the alley in S1 and wants to make good on that.

He wants to give Syd something that is lasting and matters (legacy) not all the other things he was faking, about being a successful chef while not working on himself. He immediately lets Syd replace him with Richie as a partner.

Okay, if that’s what you want.

It’s what I need.

Okay.

He’s not trying to duck out, he’s trying to fix his mistakes.

Like the third act of Groundhog Day. 😊

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

To say that the RPC is dead is a massive understatement. The RPC has been brutally murdered and framed in a way to make the murderer look like an accident. Look where we're at now. A group activity turned into a self centered one. We care only about our own feelings and our own comfort, yet we disregard the feelings and comfort of others like we're better than them. Instead of figuring out how both we and our partners can have fun, we only focus on ourselves while we treat our partners like playthings made for our entertainment, and nothing more. We cry about our problems, but belittle the problems of others and tell them to get over it. To put it in simple terms, the RPC has become a selfish community. I'm not going to sugercoat it. I've completely given up on the RPC. It has only gotten worse throughout the years, and the amount of actual good people still on hear are just a small handful out of a trillion, and it will continue to get smaller because either those people will get corrupted by the RPC environment, or they will leave it after it becomes too much to handle. I hope I'm proven wrong. I hope that someday, people will become less selfish in the RPC and will want to actually see other people as friends to interact with instead of toys to play with and throw away when they don't entertain them anymore. But I see that as wishful thinking, and I'm not holding my breath.

[luxfuxxvii]

sometimes writing is literally just hiding my phone under my pillow so that i stop doom scrolling and start fixing shit because like wtf is going on with this draft

[nexus-nebulae]

watching a video and someone went like "she died because she 'lost the will to live'. if she had died from an ACTUAL MENTAL ILLNESS that would be fine, but instead she just 'lost the will to live'" like 1- what do you think depression is. 2- this is why focusing on the label rather than the actual state of existence will always be ableist and harmful. not everyone is given the language for that shit

[noellevanious]

now that i'm awake and had times to compartmentalize i feel like i've figured it out - it's, presumably (and annoyingly, at least for me), probably just rooted back into being invested in the kind of discussions Twitter in particular encouraged.

WAY TOO LONG of a diatribe of messy thoughts below -

TL;DR: Pessimism and outrage culture cultivated by Twitter. Because of course it is. Not something you may even be conscious of - but it's better to try and shake it, so you can meaningfully communicate. Unless you, like, make your living off of it, I guess. That seems to be the play these days.

I notice this happen with a lot of friends that mainly also aggregate on twitter (they kinda treat it like i treat tumblr - a main hobby, as said as that sounds), and I'm sure if I wasn't dying from taking anti-anxiety meds that ruin my brain and make me feel like a zombie again (like an IDIOT why did i DO THAT), i could probably even make a sort of "parody" comic, but i'll condense what i'm thinking as much as i can -

There's a very distinct style of speech, that Twitter as a platform has cultivated, ever since it became the "Main" social media platform, God, back in like 2015? Where all that matters is the following:

Your thoughts are pithy (because of the character count limit)

They tend to lean towards more combative

You don't have (or need) any room to try and make it feel more like a discussion - it's just your thought, and you can't change it, or you don't want to change it.

Due to QRTs and Replies being the main form of response, and QRTs being displayed before the tweet they're responding to (I still can't even fathom how fucking stupid of an idea that is, and why that's still around), you better be ready to either vehemently (and pointlessly) defend what you said to the bitter end, or just throw up a red herring or strawman to wipe your hands of the affair. Any off-color word can ignite an angry mob that'll do their damndest to push you into the dirt, because they only know combativeness and disgust.

It also helped perpetuate and encourage that kind of apathetic irony that a lot of people were accustomed with when they were younger (I dabbled in it until, God, 6 years ago? and I'm 28), where you don't really share your positive ideas or notions, you just kind of reflexively point out issues or problems.

It's not necessarily that "it's not cool" to like stuff, it's more that you kind of get your "positive" corners sanded off. Hell, it might even be ADHD or other mental health issues - I legit had this problem until I finally got my ADHD meds. You just... don't see things positively. It's more "What interests me even a little? What gives me the smallest bit of

It's very distinct, because generally you'll want to be open and forward about what you love, right? But that doesn't happen when people are raised in this quagmire of a "community". You only point out flaws. Sometimes you let loose a perceived flaw that's actually just... we'll be optimistic and say "a social faux-pas that you picked up on".

Now, a person that isn't a 28-year-old transfem emotionally stunted poor "Communications Major" could easily research and expound upon that into articles or video essays - because it's not something that most people, I feel, are aware that they're doing. Rather, again, it's just the culture that they've kind of had to adapt to, that's been bred, again, because Twitter mainly sells manufactured outrage. You can even see it seep into other social media platforms, like Tumblr, like Tiktok.

It's very disheartening. The best way I can describe how I feel whenever I am confronted with it is, pathetically, this Simpsons meme image.

Being positive is fun. Liking stuff is good. It's ok to criticize and dislike things, but at some point, it gets tiring if you only ever point out the flaws, and treat every little part of life like an Apathy contest.

this is not an indictment or condemnation of the creator or people that like what i'm about to talk about. I am Simply Musing (and alsl trying to collect my thoughts). So humor me.

i like beanytuesdays art (comics? novels? visual rants?) until i get to one where i just cant gauge any point or opinion beyond saying

1. things suck (especially capitalism), and

2. if its an opinion that isnt the most kosher, just going back to the "hold on now. remember. i'm just a big ol fat american pal you know how dumb we are" well