#and theyre too small to hold roaches

[swagging-back-to]

okay googlewhat to dowith my 50000 thousand individual doob tubes

[flintox]

She sighed. Barely 20 minutes into her shift and she was already bored out of her mind. Janice's sneakers squeaked against the marble floor as she walked across the offices, heading to her station to start another fun filled day as a bank clerk. The otter sipped her lattè, feeling the slight tinge of pain from the still too warm liquid as it crossed her lips.

The cup was placed on her desk to cool as she pulled out her chair and sat down, ready to start prepping for another 7 hours of work before finally heading home. She pulled herself towards the desk only to hear an odd squeak from under her desk.

Janice was quite used to the odd squeak, wether it was from her sneaker shoes, an odd but comfortable part of her otherwise very professional office wear, sliding across the hard stone floor, or her cheap desk chair making its unoiled joints heard. But this squeak had been different, not rubber on stone or plastic on steel. This had been a terrified squeak.

Without a thought, the otter pushed herself back to examine the source of the noise.

It took her a moment to parse what exactly she was looking at. At a glance it could have been mistaken as a group of roaches, but as she stared their shape became more familiar. Three figures, with two arms, two legs, heads with two eyes staring right back at her. Three minuscule figures, two on the left of her right sneaker, one to the left of it sitting on the ground having just barely managed to dodge her sneaker, roughly an inch in height, clad in dark clothing, staring up at her. "Uh-"

Immediately the three scrambled away from her. Instincts kicked in and Janice did the first thing that came to mind and quickly reached for the tiny people. Though they had a few seconds headstart in her confusion, the difference in size made it so the otter could easily snatch them up one by one.

Janice held her clenched fist to her face, examining the three closer. They were three males, a bull, rat and eagle, struggling against her fingers pathetically, squeaking something too high pitched for her to hear. They were clad in dark clothing, looking almost like burglars. She blinked, not believing her eyes for a moment.

"What do you got there?"

She jumped in her seat. Janice looked to her side to see one her desk neighbor, a bookish ferret named Brett, staring intently at her hand. "UH-"

"Woah!" The ferret exclaimed. "Are those tiny bank robbers?" Brett leaned in closer, drawing more squeaks from the fist held tinies. "No way-no way! I've heard about these guys!"

"You h-have?" Janice stammered.

The ferret nodded. "Well, not these guys specifically. But I've been hearing about gangs using size tech to sneak in and out of banks with small valuables to be resized when theyre back out."

She still couldn't believe what she was seeing. "S-so these guys are thieves?" Janice asked. "We should call the cops!"

"Hold on-" Brett said. "They haven't stolen anything yet. The cops might just charge them with trespassing and let them go."

She narrowed her eyes at the downsized burglars. "S-so what should we do with them? Let them go?"

"Or just smoosh them." The ferret suggested.

Janice froze. Frantic squeaks erupted from the tiny intruders who began to push against her fingers with more fervor. She couldn't just crush them, could she?"

"Or-" Brett said with a smirk. "You could keep them."

"Keep them?" She repeated. "What for?"

The ferret smirked wider. "All sorts of things. Fun things. Like having them serve as your personal pedicure team?"

She glared at the ferret. "This isn't some weird kink, is it?"

"It's totally some weird kink." Brett grinned. "Come on, it's way more fun when you get into it."

She could feel the thieves squirm more in her grip. "I-isnt that kind of immoral?"

"I mean- so is robbing a bank." The ferret shrugged. "Hey, could I have one of them?"

"What?" She balked. "What for?"

Brett didn't answer, he just grinned wider.

Her face went red. Janice looked over to the little criminals, they were staring at her almost pleadingly. She couldn't just let them go, could she? "S-sure. Which one do you want?"

"The bull! I like them masculine." Brett quickly reached over to her hand and plucked the bull out, the tiny crook screamed and flailed between the ferrets fingers.

"Wh-" The otter asked as she watched her coworker move the tiny towards his belt. Using a thumb, Brett held open his waistband and quickly plunged the minuscule bull inside. "What are you doing?!"

"Don't judge me." The ferret mused. "I don't want him to get crushed in my pockets...that and it makes me feel huge." He said, adjusting himself in his seat.

Her face was beet red. She could hardly find the words. Janice slowly looked over to the two remaining shrunken bandits in her hand, both had resumed struggling against her fingers.

In a very sudden and quick movement, she moved her hand to her chest and pulled upon her blouse, shoving the two into her bra and closing it up again before anyone had a chance to see feeling the tiny bodies squirm against her breasts as she fumbled the buttons back into position.

"That's the spirit." Brett sighed as he turned his chair towards the from of his cubicle.

Janice only nodded, resisting the urge to bury her face out of embarrassment.

"So." The ferret said softly. "What are you gonna do with then when you get home?"

"I-i don't know." She croaked, feeling the two slide further down as they tried to fight their way out.

"... do you want suggestions?"

She swallowed. "...s-sure."

[bethdutten]

heyy, if requests are open could i get a geralt and reader where theyre dating and they meet after a long time?? ciri thinks shes just one of his friends so shes a bit cautious of her(reader)? and this leads to r thinking ciri hates her?? maybe one night ciri overhears r talking to geralt and asking him what ciri likes to grow closer to her?? and she sees him kiss and comfort her and she realizes theyre dating? and the next day she asks them how they fell in love and its cute and fluffy?? totally fine if you dont want to write it but thanks!!

words: 1.3k

warnings: just lots and lots of fluff!!

You waited at your usual spot, like you have been doing every three months for the past seven years. You knew what being with a Witcher meant-- absences, distances (both physical and sometimes emotional), and a lot of trust necessary for it to work.

But you loved Geralt, and he loved you. You both made sacrifices to be with each other, and it was always worth it. 

You stared down the road where you knew he’d stride in with Roach, keeping a look out for his tall, imposing figure that you missed so much. And when you finally saw him coming in from the snow, you could have cried from happiness.

He saw you, probably way before you saw him, and his eyes lit up in happiness. But he nudged his chin towards Roach, and that is when you noticed the girl atop the horse, riding in with him.

You froze. His Child Surprise. You’d know about the child he had gotten when he claimed the Law of Surprise, and knew how terrified he was of ever having her in his care.

I’ll help you take care of her, you’d whispered to him on nights when he would panic over the responsibility, promising him, You won’t be doing it alone. She’s your destiny, and you are mine. We will figure it out together.

But now they’d found each other. And you were suddenly the one terrified.

What if she didn’t like you? 

You managed to change your face to one of reserved happiness when Geralt finally reached you, fingers itching to reach out and hug him. But he seemed to want to take your introduction to the girl slow, and you would follow his lead.

“Ciri, this is the woman I told you we would be needing. She has the best apothecary in the Continent,” he said, and when he went to stand beside you, his rested his hand on the small of your back where she couldn’t see. 

You held back your shiver at finally feeling his touch. “It is nice to meet you, Ciri,” you said with a soft smile. 

The girl wondered why Geralt was friends with a woman who ran an apothecary; he didn’t have ‘friends’. She must be useful to them for something.

Geralt cleared his throat, seeing the apprehension in Ciri’s eyes. “Would we be able to stay with you for a few nights? There are things we need to get before we head to Kaer Morhen, and this is our last stop.”

You nodded. “Of course, I wasn’t expecting visitors, so I’ll just... get things prepared for you both. Give me an hour or so, and I’ll even have dinner.” Technically it wasn’t a lie, you were only expecting one visitor.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least.

You sat beside Geralt, your thigh pressing against his, but you didn’t dare reach out and touch him. You watched Ciri eat her meal, wishing you could have talked to Geralt before you met her.

Ciri wasn’t sure what to think of you. You seemed nice; too nice, almost. But Ciri assumed if Geralt trusted you, she probably could too.

You reluctantly pulled away from Geralt’s side, collecting the dishes. “Tea, sweetheart?

“I think it’s time you went to sleep,” Geralt answered for Ciri, keeping his eyes on you. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

You grabbed a fur and wrapped it around her shoulders as she rose, leading her to the bedroom. “If you need anything, just let me know, okay?”

When you returned to the main room, Geralt was standing in front of the fireplace with a grin that made you start crying, throwing yourself into his arms and finally getting to hold your lover.

He held you tightly against his body, face buried in your hair as he took in your scent, the warmth of your body, the steady beating of your heart against his chest; all the things he missed every single day while he was away.

You smiled as he rocked you slightly, gasping as he picked you up and carried you over to your favorite chair in the corner, arranging you on his lap so you could cuddle into him.

Cupping his face and kissing him slowly, Geralt groaned, deepening the kiss as you licked into his mouth, his hand on the nape of your neck.

You pulled away with a soft smile, murmuring, “You brought a child to me.”

He sighed, his thumb brushing against the spot behind your ear that made you shiver. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. But I know I need to protect her.”

You nodded, absentmindedly brushing your fingertips over a new scar he had on his temple. “I don’t think she likes me.”

He snorted at that. “Who wouldn’t love you?” he said lowly, trailing kisses along your neck.

You bit your lip, tangling your hands in his hair and pulling his face away from where it was wandering towards your breasts. He laughed.

“Seriously, Geralt. Tell me, what is her favorite foods, desserts? Perhaps she would like a new dress, we could go out tomorrow…” you mused, already planning for ways to win her off.

“Please, don’t worry, my love. She will love you. As I do,” he murmured, his yellow eyes watching you carefully as he held your face up to his. “She’s still adjusting to all this. We all are.”

You hummed, resting your forehead against his and taking in his soothing presence, finally getting these few moments together before he had to leave again. You kissed him softly, whispering, “I love you.”

Ciri peeked out from around the corner, surveying the scene in front of her. She silently went back to her room, not wanting to disrupt the moment of peace between the two.

The next morning, you sprinkled a few blueberries on top of Ciri’s porridge, taking your spot next to Geralt and resting your hand on his thigh under the table. “How was your sleep?” you asked.

“How did you two fall in love?” she said suddenly, tilting her head as she looked at Geralt. She didn’t like being kept out of the loop, and he clearly didn’t feel the need to tell her that the woman they were staying with was his partner.

Geralt almost choked on his food, coughing. You laughed, a slight blush in your cheeks as you regarded the observant girl. “It wasn’t anything special, honestly.”

That earned you a stare from Geralt, unimpressed by your beginning to the story. “Isn’t that sweet.”

You rolled your eyes, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers on top of the table. Now, you didn’t have to hide how happy you were to have him back. “It was an accident. I was being harassed outside the tavern one night, and he saved me. I brought him back here to tend to a cut he got in the process.”

Geralt’s thumb slowly stroked the back of your hand, watching you carefully. He had a small smile on his face, like he too was hearing this story for the first time.

“I knew he was it for me instantly,” you continued softly, eyes locked on his. “For me, at least, I’ve been in love with him since the beginning.”

Geralt cupped your face with his free hand, leaning in and kissing you. “Me too,” he whispered against your lips, and you felt your heart thud in your chest like it always did when you were around him.

A voice clearing made you both pull away slightly, reminding you that there was someone else in the room. Ciri sat smiling at you both, tilting her head.

“So you’ll be joining us from now on?” Ciri asked, looking at you. You dared to think she looked hopeful, perhaps wanting a woman with them on their travels.

You glanced at Geralt. You’d gone with him to Kaer Morhen most years, but didn’t assume. He looked back at you with a look of amusement, giving a barely imperceptible nod. You grinned, turning back to the girl.

“We’ll have him letting us braid his hair in no time, darling.”

[jaskiersvalley]

I just thought of the shelter getting a pet goat that was rescued from a farm and theyre like ???? We do cats and dogs and the occasional rodent but like, a goat??? And Geralt is like "I know the EXACT person for this job" and that's how Eskel ends up with Lil Bleater, and any other unusual animal that gets handed in.

You. I love the way your mind works. Especially because this gives me an excuse to write more Eskel. (Like I need an excuse. I totally was going to write a serial killer AU if my head hadn’t been turned by this ask...) But anyway. You’re right, Lil Bleater absolutely needs to make an appearance in this AU.

Predominantly, the shelter was for cats and dogs. Sometimes someone brought in a guinea pig or rabbit but it wasn’t often. Usually, the owners of those could be redirected to a more suitable shelter and everyone was happy. What Jaskier couldn’t stand were the people who tied their beloved pet to the gate or left some poor creature in a box on the doorstep. Those animals were almost always in need of Geralt’s attention, traumatised by being so literally dumped. A few hours tied to a gate without water or attention never did anyone any good and turning up to work to find a stressed and scared animal tied up was never a brilliant start to the day. However, it was something that happened with a disheartening frequency but nothing could have prepared Jaskier for arriving to open up, only to find a goat on a leash, standing next to the gate. The leash was so short, the goat couldn’t chew through it but it couldn’t do anything else either, other than stand on shaking legs.

“Oh you poor thing,” Jaskier approached slowly. He had no idea what to do with the goat. If he put it into a kennel, the dogs would probably stress it out but a cat pen was not big enough. Untying the leash, he watched it walk, making a beeline for the grass.

After a minute of letting it graze, Jaskier tugged the leash gently, intent on at least giving it some water and making up a carrier to rest in behind the front desk while he figured out what to do. It was still early, Jaskier got there for seven to do morning rounds before the shelter officially opened at nine. At least Geralt was going to be in at half past to help with the morning rounds.

Sure enough, Geralt was there on time, greeting Jaskier with a small kiss, Roach trotting at his heels. She zeroed in on the carrier with the goat immediately, snuffling it until told to leave alone.

“Who have we got here?” Geralt asked with a sad voice. He knew a carrier meant someone in need of a vet. Crouching down, Jaskier saw the moment he registered their unusual guest.

“I have no idea what we’re going to do with a goat.” The admission hurt and Jaskier shrugged. “Found it tied to the gate. No note, poor thing couldn’t even lie down.”

Geralt stayed crouched, looking thoughtfully at the goat. Roach sat down by his side and stared too, just as serious.

“Trust me on this?” Geralt asked, already pulling his phone out, knowing Jaskier would say yes. However, he waited until he was actually given a verbal confirmation before dialling a number. “It’s me- yes, I know it’s early- No, just put him on- It has to be him, yes- Fuck you three are a nightmare- Just come to the shelter- I’m okay, just hurry.”

Twenty minutes later there was a knock on the shelter’s door and Jaskier opened it to Eskel, Lambert and another man. They all marched in, looking a little rumpled as if they’d been woken up from sleeping in a puppy pile. Geralt nodded at them as he came to the foyer, Roach left behind for now.

“Eskel, there’s a carrier behind the front desk, it’s one for you.”

Without questioning it, Eskel moved to look while Lambert and the other man hung back with Jaskier who was giving them a look, trying to figure it all out. Seeming to remember his manners, the stranger stuck his hand out for Jaskier to shake.

“Cahir. I have zero clue what’s going on. But I’m here and I’m supporting my boyfriends because it’s too early in the morning to do anything else.”

That had Lambert snorting and snaking a hand around Cahir’s waist. “Babe, you never have a clue what’s going on. And you never do anything but support our idiocy.”

Jaskier had many questions, predominantly about the fact that he’d last been introduced to Lambert and Eskel as though they were Geralt’s brothers. It was confusing. However, his attention was absolutely snatched up by a veritable coo from behind the desk as Eskel discovered the goat. There was the sound of the carrier being opened and soft words of encouragement.

Standing up, Geralt beckoned the others silently closer and they quietly approached to peer over the edge of the desk. Eskel was sat on the floor, goat with two hooves on his knee, sniffing him.

“Aren’t you a gorgeous girl?” Eskel murmured. Deemed friendly enough, the goat hopped into his lap and he gathered her to his chest with a small bleat that was too quiet for a goat of her size. If Eskel had been besotted before, he was positively melting, holding the goat to his chest as he stood up.

“Well, she’s definitely used to being handled,” Jaskier commented as he watched Eskel walk to Lambert and Cahir with the goat.

“He’s not named it,” Lambert muttered to Cahir, “We have a chance here.”

“Guys,” Eskel was staring down at the goat, “meet Lil Bleater.”

“Fuck!” Lambert cursed but he didn’t look mad. If anything, he was smiling just as badly as Eskel.

Cahir seemed horribly entertained by the whole thing. He reached to give Lil Bleater a scratch between the horns. “So when you were saying that the garden looks empty, even with the chicken run, what you were trying to tell me is you want me to build a goat pen next to it, right?”

The innocently hopeful look Eskel shot Cahir had Jaskier’s heart melting. He didn’t think Cahir could say no to such a look, even if he had wanted to.

“Told you I have a solution,” Geralt murmured, wrapping around Jaskier from behind. “She’ll be doted upon now.”

“Geralt, your brothers-” Jaskier had no delicate way of asking without sounding like a dick. “Are they fucking?”

Suddenly Lambert laughed and he turned to look at Jaskier. “You didn’t actually think we were brothers, right? Do we look anything alike?”

Come to think of it, there was only a passing resemblance between Eskel and Geralt. He was trying to think of a polite way of digging his way out of the situation rather than make it worse.

Thankfully, Eskel beat him to it. “Brother is quicker and more accurate than best friend.”

“I know I’m kinky but even I draw the line at incest,” Cahir piped up, looking far too amused. “My standards may be low but come on, do I really look the type? We just met! Do I give off such vibes?”

Jaskier blushed and tried to apologise and deny it and make amends all at the same time. Snorting, Geralt gave him a squeeze around the middle.

“They’re just fucking with you.” Turning to look at the other three, he smiled. “We have work to do. Take your goat and get her settled in. Thanks for helping out with her.”

Bidding their goodbyes, Eskel carried Lil Bleater out, wrapping his coat around her carefully, making a warm cocoon against his chest. Geralt hummed as he watched them leave. “I’ll bet you a blowjob the goat pen never gets built and she will sleep in their bed.”

Three weeks later, Jaskier was on his knees and had never been more happy to lose a bet.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

lean on me - part 1

hello hello. i am participating in @comfortember and here is my humble contribution! (yes its 4 days late. im sorry theres an election and im in college, ill catch up)

featuring: dagger!jaskier courtesy of @jaskierswolf

___

ship: platonic or romantic geraskier and literally everyone else is there too and theyre best friends

genre: comfort and injury recovery 

warnings: hummm, mentions of torture, injury, description of injury, blood (but not much), jaskier kills a bunch of people but its more implied than shown

words: 2905

editing: nah nah nah sister

___

Geralt didn't meet him in Vizima.

The man might be a stubborn, dense ass half the time, but he always followed through on his word.

And there was the small, teeny weeny fact that he had been supposed to meet Jaskier a month ago.

At first he thought that Geralt must have been held up by a contract in a different town and would be there soon. But in all his years of traveling with the man, he’s never seen a contract last more than a week tops. And despite all Geralt’s very insistent grumblings that he could take care of himself, Jaskier was worried. And not just oh ho hum this thing seems to be nagging at me, gosh darn it worrying. This was full on, I can’t get out of bed in the morning because I’m so paralyzed with fear and when I do manage that I can’t particularly do anything because my stomach is in knots and my hands wont stop shaking so the only time I'm remotely at peace is when i manage to get an hour of sleep and even then I’m plagued with nightmares kind of worry.

He had started to ask around about Geralt. Poking his nose where it didn't belong was something he was quite good at after all and no one questioned it. But on the 28th day of no news to say he was getting antsy was an understatement. He had half a mind to commandeer a horse and go out looking for Geralt but he could hear Geralt’s voice in the back of his head telling him what a stupid idea that was because 1. Not only did he have any ideas as to where Geralt could be but also 2. He didn't know what he was walking into, and something that could capture a Witcher and hold one was not something he had any desire to cross paths with unprepared, thank you very much.

But then, if Geralt had been kidnapped by someone Jaskier was probably his only hope at getting out. Or he could be bleeding out in a forest somewhere, maybe even trapped in a cave. There was the chance that he had been arrested, but Geralt usually could get out of those situations.

He could also be dead. But Jaskier refused to think about it. Geralt was far too stubborn to die.

He just turned to go back to the inn after yet another day at the market with no news of any Witchers, the White Wolf or even the Butcher of Blaviken (he knew Geralt hated that name but hey, at this point Jaskier would take what he could get) when there were a series of shouts from behind him to “GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

Jaskier whipped around just in time to see a horse barrelling towards him at a full gallop, knocking aside people and stalls like they were nothing. He rolled to the ground and out of the path of destruction, pulling his arms over his face instinctually, when the sounds of hooves pounding against packed dirt stopped suddenly and there was a warm muzzle prodding his arm.

Jaskier peeked up uncertainly. He had definitely done many strange things in his life, but he could honestly say “stopped a horse on a mad death stampede” was not one of them and he wasn't quite sure what to expect.

He looked once, looked again, and then a third time just to be sure because there was no way that this could possibly be “Roach?”

She was covered in sweat, and saddleless, her reins dangling around her neck and she looked slightly underfed which sent fresh spikes of worry shooting through Jaskier’s stomach. Geralt often went hungry himself when the coin was tight to make sure Roach had food. So the fact that Roach was not in her usual top condition was worrying to say the least. He wasn’t sure if he should cry with relief or worry because on the one hand, if Roach was here then that meant she might know where Geralt was but on the other hand Roach was always near Geralt and since Geralt was definitely nowhere in sight that meant that something horrible had probably happened to him and Jaskier knew that he probably couldn’t possibly-

Roach nipped at his doublet sleeves, seemingly sensing that he was distressed. Jaskier smiled tightly and rubbed her neck. “Hi girl,” he muttered. “I missed you too. And while I am very, very happy to see you and even happier that you don't seem in one of your normal murderous moods, I do wish you had brought Geralt with you.”

At the mention of her owner, Roaches ears flicked back and she nipped at Jaskier’s doublet again, stomping her hooves impatiently.

Aha. Maybe there was a reason why Geralt was so partial to his horse. “Roach,” he said very seriously. “Do you know where Geralt is?”

Roach turned and began to walk back the way she came, snorting when Jaskier didn't follow.

“Oh you wonderful, glorious girl!” Jaskier praised, reaching up to grab her reins and lead her away to a stable. “I’m going to give you all the apples and sugar cubes that you can eat!” Roach stayed firmly put.

“Melitele’s tit, you really are Geralt’s horse aren’t you girl?” he muttered. “Look, I want nothing more to jump on your back and go find him. But you know he’d kill us both if we went in unprepared! And besides, you don't even have a saddle. So just give me an hour, I’ll get you into a stall with Pegasus and you can eat something cause you look a little skinny and Geralt would have my head if he knew I let you starve, and then we can go find him, alright?”

Roach gave him what Jaskier assumed was a glare.

“Oh you absolute mule. C’mon, let’s go.”

read the rest on ao3

___

ooo what's gonna happen nest?? idkkkk

spoiler its soft

throw me an ask if you wanna be on my taglist 

taglist: @percy-jackson-is-sexy- @barlowarts @eminasan @llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @nonegenderleftpain @electricrituals

also tagging: @bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher @holding-hands-with-solkar @the-blondy

[dandelion-vines]

im super thirsty for ANY non con w jaskier. if it suits you maybe a bridenapping a/b/o situation? geralt steals omega jaskier from his husband and breeds him against his will. verbal humil and physical abuse a plus ;3

somnophilia, noncon, painkink, manhandling, pregnancy kink, lactation kink, slapping, jaskier is a male omega, male omegas have breasts when theyre pregnant and they have cunts yay, cuntslapping because jaskier’s a painslut.

Geralt calls jaskier “boy” in this on occasion, but jaskier’s like 25, and geralt’s doing that because hes like what, 800?? Lol. also, pretty happy with how this turned out :)

-

“We’re waiting till marriage,” the omega says, eyes lovey dovey as he palms over his pregnant stomach. His neck is bare, bondbite missing as Jaskier explains exactly why. “I want it to be special,” he says, smiling at Chireadan, pressing a kiss to his lips. He smells mouthwatering; Geralt can smell the slick scent of his cunt— a constantly horny bitch, fat with pups. It’s all Geralt’s ever wanted, and he resolves himself to take it. He slips the sleeping powder into both the omega’s and the alpha’s waters.

It’s too easy, slipping into his chambers at night and stealing the omega away. It’s too easy, shoving his unconscious body onto Roach and riding over the border before dawn. What is really hard though, is keeping his hands off the unconscious omega. Geralt rubs over the swell of his stomach, feeling the pups kick against his hand. He slips a hand under the front of the omega’s trousers, dick twitching as he touches. The omega’s clit is hard, stiff with the arousal that comes with pregnancy, and he’s so wet that Geralt has half a mind to stop and plough him senseless. Not yet— not yet. Just a little longer till he’s up in the hills, back in the abandoned cave he occasionally stays during rainy days if he’s nearby. No one knows it's there, long-forgotten as vines and trees grew up and around it. 

For the time being, he slows Roach into a trot, well past the border. The omega’s still unconscious, his head resting back against Geralt’s shoulder as Geralt touches. He thumbs over the omega’s labia, rubs at his clit. His breasts are full and plump, and Geralt’s forced to stifle a whimper as he pinches his nipples into a hard nub, feeling a droplet of milk bead at the nipple. Gods, it’s too fucking hot. Geralt fingers the omega, rubbing over his clit as he plays with his nipples. He can feel his walls twitch and clench, hears him sigh as Geralt fucks his fingers harder, curls them up— the omega gushes slick, body trembling as he cums— fuck. Geralt ruts against the small of his back, hungrily working the unconscious omega through his orgasm as Geralt tips over into his own. 

It takes an hour after they reach the cave for the omega to wake, brilliant blue eyes blinking against the setting sun. Geralt watches his body as he sits up, the curve of his breasts slumping against the swell of his stomach has him dripping pre as he works his cock over. He looks around, and his eyes settle fearfully on Geralt. “Where are we?” Silly thing, Geralt wants to tell him, it doesn’t matter. The omega flinches, backing himself against a wall; one of his arms curve over his breasts, hiding his nipples, and the other attempts to reach his cunt to cover himself, only to be hindered by his pregnant stomach. 

Fuck. Geralt’s going to ruin him.

The omega yelps as Geralt drags him forward by the hips, his back hitting the floor as Geralt straddles his thighs. “W— witcher?” His voice is all warbly, his fear makes the air coy and sweet. How adorable; Geralt finds himself donning a small smile as he pulls the omega’s legs a part, giving his sweet cunt a gentle slap. He fights, of course he does, fierce little thing he is. He scrambles, punches, and claws; it takes two moves for Geralt to flip him onto his stomach, his hands occupied with keeping himself so his body doesn’t rest on his baby, doesn’t harm it. 

Geralt holds his hips down, one hand sliding up to his nipple and giving the milk-laden breast a gentle squeeze. A fat omega, all for himself; can’t believe his luck, really. He could do anything. Geralt twists harshly at a nipple, the omega bucking and arching in pain. Funnily enough, Geralt can scent pleasure in the air, smell the slick of his juices. “Oh, little omega likes a little pain, does he?” he rumbles. Geralt lets go of the omega’s hip, putting more force into pinching his nipple as he kneels between the omega’s legs, forcing him to spread his knees and spanks his cunt harder, faster. 

The coy thing moans, his pleasure spinking. “Your sweet husband never did his for you, did he? Knocked you up and kept you unsatisfied,” the omega’s ply in his hands, whimpering as Geralt finally lets go over his nipple and turns him back onto his back, “what an awful alpha you had.” The omega parts his lips to snark, and Geralt draws his hand back, bringing it down hard enough on the omega’s cheek to whip his head and render him senseless. His face turns pink with the impact, lips parted in a silent gasp, eyes wide in silent shock. 

He frowns. “Witcher, you’re—” Geralt slaps him again, enjoying the look on his face, the arousal in the air, the slickness of his cunt against the witcher’s knees. He pinches down the omega’s chest, twisting his nipples greedily and tugging and massaging at his breasts till they’re leaking milk. He’s so hard he might actually die, Geralt thinks.

“What a slutty little omega, I can’t wait to ruin you, turn you into what you were meant to be, little thing.” He slaps the omega’s breasts in harsh bursts, enjoying his moans as he arches. Geralt shoves his cock into his cunt with little preamble, the moaning omega trying to draw his legs close, cute thing. Geralt pinches the inside of his thighs sharply, slaps them till they’re red and bruising to push his legs to the side.

And then he fucks him, his massive hand wrapped around the omega’s wide neck. Geralt watches with greedy eyes as the omega’s body jerks underneath him, bits of milk pooling and dripping from his nipples, stomach jiggling in time with his thrusts. Geralt moans as he feels the omega’s cunt twitch around him, slaps him once, twice, and the little thing’s cumming, the witcher fucking and rubbing his clit to work him through it. It’s enough to pull Geralt over the edge, slamming his hips against the omega’s as he sinks his teeth into the omega’s neck, bonding them together. He collapses beside him, careful of the omega’s pregnant stomach, and boundless the limp boy close. 

The omega sighs, his scent content as he cuddles into the warmth of Geralt’s pecks. Later, Geralt will clean them of the cum and the slick and the milk. For now, he holds his mate. 

“What’s your name,” he mutters out at last.

The omega looks up at him, those eyes that the witcher so-adores half-lidded as Geralt soothingly rubs over his bump. He looks good, warm, comfortable and cared for. His face is a little pink, and Geralt will sooth it with healing cream later, the same for his cunt, but for now, he holds him and now-their child in a gentle embrace, close and cuddled. 

“My name? Julian Alfred Pankratz,” he sighs out, “Jaskier.”

“Jaskier,” the name tastes right on Geralt’s tongue. “Omega. Mate.” Oh, he loves it, he’s never felt so whole. 

Jaskier smiles, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Alpha. Mate.” And dozes off.

[afterhoursfic]

I love that Questline in tw2, so how about after Geralts little pups are born, he gets down to business fucking a new litter into Jaskier? In front of the whole School. He's now the only breeding stud and that makes him Alpha. His pups are maybe even half witcher already and all survive the trials leading to a new generation of Witchers. Add in they because of the potion they're fertile as well, and that's a whole new line of Witchers.

That is great thinking anon. At first they're happy just to have the small litter of pups from before the trials, both of them taking time off the path to raise them, Geralt just taking local contracts because they didn't want to leave them at the keep to be taken and attempted to be made into witchers.

By the time their four kids are too old for the trials they return to the keep, the kids doing small labour whilst they travel the path and its more than they ever thought theyd get but they want more, Jaskier literally fucking himself on Geralts cock whenever he can in the hope that maybe he'll get bred again, but the closest they get is the small swell in Jaskiers stomach when he's stuffed full with come after a night of fucking.

He thinks nothing of the researchers in Flotsam about a month ago, not until he sees the note in Oxenfurt and he doesn't dare hope, but he pushes Roach a bit harder to make it back to Jaskier faster, and before the man can even get out a hello Geralt is on him, pushing him down on the bed and bitinf his neck as fucks Jaskier with abondon, not carinfg to mind his strength cause he wants hia cock as deep as possible when he knots the omega, wants the swell in his stomach he knows will be there come morning to grow with their pups and he tells Jaskier as much, tells him hesgoing to breed him properly now, gonna stuff him full with his knot for days until he's caught.

They lose track of time in their constant fucking and get kicked out of the inn for staying over, and charged extra for the dire state of the bed thats barely holding together anymore. They race to the next town to do it all again because Jaskier will kill him if he breeds him in the woods like an animal, this time at least anyway.

They fuck the whole way to Kaer Morhen and especially when theyre back at the keep again so everyone can see that a proper alpha can fuck pups into their omega, and they watch omthe geowing swell of Jaskiers stomach as the months past until there are little half witchers in the keep.

They look human, human eyes and tanned skin but when they're older they're faster, stronger and years above other kids their age and a tolerance to witcher potions which means no more mutations.

From then on he fucks Jaskier for weeks until he catches again, leaving him at the keep whilst he's out on the path, a trinket from Triss meaning every now and then he can portal back to see Jaskier again so that when their new litter is born he can fuck another one into his pretty omega.

[sendspoodsnotnoods]

Tarantula Care basics:

I've gotten tired of typing out "beginner tips" when people ask for them in Facebook groups, so I'm posting this as a resource to anyone who wants to get a tarantula but needs a place to start with researching. Please research elsewhere as well and be aware that there are many people who are successful at keeping tarantulas that may disagree on certain husbandry topics. This information is based off of the research I've done and how I care for my tarantulas. I may not be an expert with decades of experience, but I am a science minded individual who did a lot of research before getting my first tarantula and who has continued to learn each day I keep these beautiful animals as pets.

Temperatures-

No heat lamp, no heat pad. Fine at normal room temperature. If you're not cold neither is your tarantula. If your house is kinda cold get a space heater for the room you keep your tarantula in. Between 60-80F is fine for most tarantulas. Slightly below or slightly higher won't likely hurt them. If your house regularly goes below 60F then consider getting a space heater.

Enclosures-

Don't buy an enclosure until you know the size of the tarantula youre getting. You could be investing in a huge tank when all you're going to need for the next 5 years is a Tupperware or critter keeper. Give your tarantula at least 2x their legspan in all demensions of the enclosure. So a 2in. legspan tarantula needs at least a 4x4in enclosure minimum. Too large an enclosure may mean you struggle to find your tarantula or that your tarantula has a higher risk of falling and getting hurt. You can be generous with space without going overboard. For example a 3wx4Lx2h in. display case is a bit large for a 3/4 in. sling however it's much more appropriate than putting a tiny sling in a huge enclosure. Small slings are often kept in 4oz or 6oz deli cups and that is completely fine for a few months. Remember that you don't have to spend big bucks on glass enclosures. Often acrylic and plastic is more ideal for providing proper ventilation anyways. Explore stores like the Container Store for ideas. You can use anything from display cases to clear shoe boxes. Invest in a drill and get some 1/16th inch drill bits (that's what i use on sling enclosures, you can use a larger bit for bigger spiders).

You should know whether or not your tarantula is terrestrial (lives on or near the ground), arboreal (lives in trees), or fossorial (lives primarily underground). I won't discuss fossorials in depth in this post because I don't have any first hand experience, however the biggest difference between fossorial and terrestrial is you need to give them A LOT of substrate. Get them a tall enclosure and fill it most of the way with substrate. Most "beginner species" aren't fossorials so it's unlikely you'll be getting one soon unless you get an Aphomapelma seemanni. Tom Moran has a husbandry video on Aphonopelma seemanni if that's the species you're interested in getting.

Terrestrials should have at least enough substrate to burrow if they choose, so at least one leg span if possible. Do not give a terrestrial more than 2x their legspan between the surface of the substrate and the lid of their enclosure. They have very fragile abdomens and can die if they fall from even small heights. A terrestrial enclosure should be wider/longer than it is high.

Arboreals need an enclosure that is taller than it is wide. I like the AMAC boxes sold at the Container Store for slings, however other options include clear pill jars, plastic jars, and file boxes. Be creative. There are also glass exoterra enclosures that people like, however I personally don't like them because they don't give you enough cross ventilation and tarantulas can get their feet caught on the mesh/screen lids. I prefer something with cross ventilation (something where i can add a bunch of holes in the sides). Arboreals don't need that much substrate. Just provide enough to cover the bottom of the enclosure, help keep anything that you may place on the bottom of the enclosure in place, and absorb moisture.

Water and moisture-

You'll see some care sheets say that certain genera and species such as "Theraposa stirmi" (which I would not recommend for a beginner) need "high humidity". What they really need is wet substrate. "High humidity" species need their substrate to be soaked down more frequently or more generously. Many "beginner" terrestrial species are arid species (they live in drier climates). Nearly all Brachypelma, Grammostola, and Aphomapelma can be kept in the same type of enclosures. Give them dry substrate and a water dish, and overflow the dish a little when you fill it. Do not put rocks or a sponge in the dish. Tarantulas cannot drink from a sponge and rocks and gravel simply provide more surface area for mold to grow.

Small slings do not necessarily need a water dish. While they are small tarantulas lack the waxy curticle on their exoskeletons that keeps water in. Because they lack the cuticle they can get moisture from their substrate. Keep generally all terrestrial slings an moderately damp substrate and watch for mold growth.

Substrate-

There are a number of popular options including ecoearth (or another brand of coconut fiber substrate) and organic potting soil. Some people mix vermiculite in with their substrate but vermiculite shouldn't be used alone as a substrate. If you use potting soil ensure it's only soil and doesn't have added fertilizer or chemicals. Topsoil is heavy so doesnt need to be packed down. If you choose ecoearth or coconut fiber, it comes often in dense bricks. Add water to these bricks and pull them apart. You may need to do this ahead of time so you can let the coconut fiber dry off before you assemble the enclosure. Coconut fiber is loose and fluffy when you put it in the enclosure. Pat it down firmly with your hands otherwise the tarantula won't like walking on the substrate. Coconut fiber, topsoil, or specially designed tarantula substrates are all acceptable. Substrates NOT to use: sand, aquarium gravel, woodchips, mulch, pure vermiculite. The goal with a substrate is to provide a maxtrix that the tarantula won't mind walking on that will hold moisture and hold the shape of their burrows.

Tank accessories-

Hides- The most important accessory besides a water dish (which I recommend for all tarantulas besides tiny slings) for a terrestrial tarantula is a hide. This can be a plastic hide bought from a pet store, a piece of corkbark, flat or curved driftwood, a broken flower pot, or half a cup. Be creative. They can be as cheap as you want. Just be sure there aren't any super sharp edges. In a pinch you can make a hide from a plastic soda bottle. Cut out a portion of it and CAREFULLY use a lighter to curve the piece of plastic and melt the edges so that's theyre not sharp. I have used this technique a number of times. These hides then should be partially buried so that they are dark inside, but the opening is visible so they tarantula can use it as a starter burrow. Cork bark is very popular for hides and can be bought from a pet store or online. A variety of other hides can also be bought from pet stores. Anything that's half a cylinder and open on both sides will function well as a hide for your tarantula. A hide can be skipped with super small slings but should be provided once the enclosure is large enough. For slings I've used short parts of powdered drink tubes that I bury with one end exposed on the surface. You'd be amazed what junk you can cut up and use in an enclosure.

Tall anchor points- for arboreal tarantulas they need something that reaches close to the top of their enclosure so they have something that they can climb and use to anchor webbing. This can be a piece of corkbark on end, a pcv pipe, a log, silk plants, or anything! Corkbark and silk plants are the popular choices but you can use a 2x4 (nontreated wood) and paint sticks if you feel so inclined.

Low anchor points- all tarantulas can web, although some will do so more than others. A number of species, especially the popular "green bottle blue" are heavy webbers and should be provided with some anchor points even though they're terrestrial (even though some may argue sort of otherwise). These anchor points can simply be fake plants or something. Protip: fishtank plants are cheaper than terrarium plants and work just as well. Even cheaper are silk plants from craft stores. Just rinse and pat dry any tank accessories to remove dust from the store just in case. All tarantulas can benefit from some anchor points in their enclosures. Also adding a silk plant or two looks nice.

Food-

A tarantula can be fed practically any sort of feeder insect from meal worms to roaches to crickets. Meal worms, superworms, and dubia roaches will burrow if you let them, so before offering them to your tarantula you should pinch the feeder's head so that it is disabled but not entirely dead. Crickets are fine but can bite, so don't leave them unattended with a tarantula. Red runners (B. lateralis) are good but beware that they can infest your home if they escape, so use caution. Hornworms can make an occasional nutrional treat, however only use store bought worms. If hornworms have eaten tomato plants it can make them toxic to anything that eats them. On that note: NEVER feed wild caught prey of any kind. Wild caught feeders may carry parasites such as nematodes that can be passed to your tarantula and may eventually kill them. Purchase feeders from a pet store, online supplier, local breeders (some people will breed colonies of feeders), or from vendors at an expo.

Feed your tarantula a prey item around the size of their abdomen once every week or two if they will eat. If you don't have larger prey items you can feed them a couple at once. If they stop eating do not be alarmed, they might just be full, or they may be in premolt. Some species can fast for up to a year, so you tarantula is not going to die from self inflicted starvation. If it wants to eat it will. If it's not eating then remove the prey and try again in a week or two. If your tarantula is really fat, perhaps just wait to try feeding until it gets skinnier or molts.

Molting-

Tarantulas have an exoskeleton which does not grow with them. Because of that, like all arthropods they will molt, where they shed their old exoskeleton. They will likely stop eating. Premolt, or the period where they may stop eating and perhaps become more elusive or even close themselve off in their burrow, may last anywhere from a week to months, to a year in severe cases. Sometimes they will get duller in color during premolt, their abdomens may get black and shiny, and they may lose hair on their abdomens. If they refuse food and/or seal off the entrance to their burrrow, then leave them be, continue to fill their water dish, and wait to offer food again until they start wandering around their enclosure again.

When a tarantula molts it usually flips over on it's back. DO NOT TOUCH IT. They are very fragile during and after a molt. A molt can take anywhere from half an hour to 8 hours depending on the size of the tarantula. Do not intervene, just make sure they have water and leave them alone. After they have left their old exoskeleton they will be very vulnerable. The new exoskeleton is very soft and takes awhile to harden. Wait 1-2 weeks before you feed them. Best to go on the side of caution and wait 2 weeks if you're in doubt. What's important here is you wait until their new fangs have fully hardened and turned shiny and dark black. After 2 weeks it should be safe to feed. Remember, your tarantula is fine going awhile without eating, waiting an extra week or two isn't neglectful. Just keep its water dish filled and it will be ok.

Useful tools-

Feeding tongs: a must have. They can be purchased at a pet store or online. You'll need them for feeding and for removing things from the enclosure.

Paintbrush or makeup brush: a soft and clean paintbrush or makeup brush can be used to gently touch the back legs of a tarantula and coax it where you need it to go.

Plastic straw: just rinse and save one after a trip to a fast food place. Used for the same use as the paintbrush, but more useful if you have a tarantula that tries to bite (a plastic straw will not hurt their fangs if they bite it)

Wooden chopsticks: I don't see this on many lists but I've found chopsticks can be useful for pushing prey around if they're "playing dead" or for cleaning an enclosure (once again the wood is safer for fangs than metal tongs, however still attempt to avoid having your tarantula bite the chopsticks).

Plastic spoon: i guess it doesnt have to be plastic but thats what i use. Just keep one around. Its good for packing down substrate in enclosures that are too small to reach your hands into, and for digging starter burrows when assembling an enclosure.

Spray bottle: get a clean plastic water bottle for filling water dishes, misting, and wetting substrate. You can buy an empty spray bottle with an adjustable stream from Walmart for a dollar or two. Look near the household cleaning supplies.

Catch cups: collect a variety of clear or translucent plastic cups and bowls that you can poke air holes in. Always have a few catch cups and some flat pieces of cardboard that can cover them around when you open an enclosure. Should a tarantula escape, wait for it to stop moving, place the cup over it, and gently slide cardboard underneath. I bought a pack of clear solo cups a year ago and those are what I most commonly use. Empty containers from shredded cheese work well too and keep those lids in case you want to use them as sling enclosures later on.

Pocket knife: not everyone does this, but I have one old pocket knife that is my feeder insect knife. Sometimes you need to cut mealworms in half for smaller slings, that is the knife I use. Afterwards I wipe the blade off and close it and keep it with the rest of my tarantula tools.

You will discover what tools you find work for you after you have been caring for a tarantula for awhile. At the bare minimum get feeding tongs, a plastic straw, and some catch cups.

Conclusions, disclaimers, and further reading:

This guide is from my personal experience and research, however my opinions may vary from those of other keepers and hobbyists. This advice is based off of the care I provide for my tarantulas however you may find different care works better for you. I highly recommend you read through Tom Moran's beginner guides https://tomsbigspiders.com/beginner-guides/

Browse the forums on arachnoboards. There are many good youtube channels out there as well but some are more informative than others. I highly recommend Tom Moran for husbandry information. He may not be the most exciting and attention grabbing channel, but he has the most comprehensive and well phrased husbandry information than any other single person I've come across.

Each individual species is different and you should research the care and temperment of your particular species, but I encourage you not to trust traditional "care sheets" as many are misleading. I recommend using Tom Moran's content as a resource and asking questions on arachnoboards and other forums if you have further questions. Good luck and welcome to the hobby!

[afterhoursfic]

Risking sounding weird but watched monkey life the other day and they taught a monkey to stick his dick out of the cage and pee into a tube when they needed and it just did it happily and it made me think of Jaskier doing that. Just pushing his dick out for G when asked and trickling like it's nothing, sometimes you can see his cock really pushing to get anything out but other than that, he's not really putting any thought into it, just continuing whatever else he was doing while G makes him pee

You'll get no judgement here anon dw! It takes a lot to irk me 😂

But that is an interesting idea. It probably starts when they begin travelling together and Jaskier is just so prissy and refuses to even think of pissing anywhere newr Geralts vicinity. Which is tolerable at first but when its clear Jaskier's staying it has to change because Jaskier will refuse to go in the morning and then they're inevitably forced to pull aside so Jaskier can piss however reluctant, but even then he doesnt change his mind about peeing near him, he just trots on ahead with Roach and waits for the bard to join him again. Either that or he'll try to slip away in the dead of night, which given how half the time they're in the wilderness with all manner of monsters and beasts around them that will definitely not be happening and he's forced to listen to Jaskier shift and whimper all night as he tries and holds in his piss before giving up in the early hours of the morning with a soft moan and a sigh of relief after before falling asleep.

Regardless it has to change, they lose time in the day and he loses sleep at night so Geralt pulls out axii, finds the bards mind far too willing to his ideas and then they go about their day. He tries it the next day at breakfast, says cock out and not even breaking his sentence watches Jaskier unlace his breeches to pull his cock out and with a small flutter of his eyes begins to piss. He likes to think it's the power that comes with it thats so enticing to him and definitely not about the piss.

He does it as much as he can get away with, even giving the command 10 minutes after he last pissed and watches Jaskier strain to get a small dribble of piss out. What became a necessity, purely for Jaskiers safety and his sanity of course, has now become his entertainment and almost pleasure, almost.

One time theyre approaching a town and theres a woman tending the farms, Jaskier begins charming her instantly, hands already grasping his lute to serenade her and he quickly says cock out, ignores the look from the woman as Jaskier, still with his lute in one hand, with the other pulls his cock out and starts pissing at her feet, still smiling and joking with the woman, still eager for a rumble in her sheets, but she just slaps Jaskier round the face and storms off, leaving Jaskier to lament all night about his dwindling ability to charm the ladies, it definitrly wasn't Geralt doing this trick every time he could.

One time after a few beers Geralt wants to test the boundaries a little, they're in an inn, sat in a corner somewhere with a different bard entertaining the crowds that night while Jaskier criticizes the whole time, and after Jaskier finishes his second glass of wine (after his 3 beers) he gives Jaskier the command. He can't see it but even in the noise of the inn he can hear the wet patter of liquid on stone, can see Jaskiers hand grip the table as he tries to force every last drop of piss out, a smile on his face as if he enjoys what he's doing, enjoys the relief, and now he can smeel the piss puddled at their feet, he half wants dmsomeone to come by and call Jaskier out for pissing himself but that can wait another time, he just pushes a bottle into Jaskiers hand and counts the minutes till the next command