#and theyre keeping records of all his kills as he sends them to them for safe keeping
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painsandconfusion · 2 years ago
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*i quietly accept the beverage and inspect it quietly, half expecting poison, or worse, water*
Shaw, his last name is Shaw. And my friends name is Kara! It's such a pretty name no?
*i am happily trembling a little with happiness*
It's water. He cares about your health.
He stops.
Turns.
Processes to make sure he heard you right.
"...Alec Shaw?" He sputters a laugh. "That's who I was going to send after your friend-" He doubles over in laughter, the irony of the situation hitting like a ton of bricks.
Finally he wipes his eyes and pulls out his phone.
The doors lock after a few clicks.
"Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sorry - you seem sweet and all, but I'm gonna have to call Corden. Don't need you going around naming names, do we?"
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percexe · 1 year ago
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time 2 ramble about forgotten realms au aka my bg3 au thats just me changing around lore it will live under the cut
tldr i love dead three
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the main thing i wanted to change for fr/bg3 rewrite au whatever you call it is how weirdly out of place bane feels among the dead three. murder and necromancy? yeah those are sufficiency death-like. TYRANNY? YOUVE LOST ME. i say this with all the love for forgotten realms (well mostly)
there’s also kelevmor, who is ALSO a death god but weirdly separate from the dead three situation. i believe jergal was a scribe for him, but yknow. shrug. so i just swapped bane out for an alternate version of kelevmor, then used it to put more emphasis on how the dead three are gods who share one domain split among them. so their whole situation changed to look more like this:
jergal was the original god of death, but when three adventurers came to him seeking glory, he split his domain into three parts: the road to death, meeting death + dying, and the road after death. kelevmor, bhaal, and myrkul.
bhaal and myrkul stay relatively the same; the biggest change is with kelevmor. because he becomes the scribe of the dead, essentially acting like the fates in greek mythology, cataloging the length of each mortal life and recording the exact time and situation fate has decided they will die. from this his domain extends to ideas of control and fate, and is often prayed to by rulers and people in power (anyone who knows their leadership could send people “on the road to death” essentially. kelevmor knows the feeling of holding hundreds of lives in your hand, and the weight it has).
kelevmor is a very solitary god- his task of eternally recording mortal life and death keeps him busy- and very few are actually devoted to him. he has very few priests and clerics, and likely has only had a couple of chosen since he became a god. but the especially faithful are given a blessing: the knowledge of how exactly theyre going to die. it was intended as a test of faith (something something accept the death kelevmor has written for you) but in the wrong hands this can be a bombshell
THIS IS WHERE BG3 AND SPECIFICALLY GORTASH COME IN THIS AU. gortash in regular bg3 is already exceedingly independent- there's a stark contrast between him and bane compared to ketheric and myrkul + orin/durge and bhaal- so swapping his faith from bane to au kelevmor is an easy swap. its also a very PROFITABLE situation, since gortash in this KNOWS when he's going to die. sure, its a bad deal, having a bunch of adventurers kill him (smile for the camera durge haima) but gortash didnt seek this foresight to go along with what fate wants, nor does he care about what fate wants At All. he likely sought the chosen of kelevmor position to learn this, and this is how we see his independence turn to actively working against the god he claims to worship.
to me gortash is such an interesting character when viewed through the lens of someone wholly selfish and driven by power, instead of another gods chosen doing whatever said god wants. the concept of hubris is practically sewn into the dramatic ass outfit he prances around in, and whats filled with more hubris than using a gods power to start a fake cult? he found out when hes going to die, so he used that vision to seek out the person destined to kill him to deal with the problem early, attempting to dodge death itself. but we all know gortash gets kicked off his hubris pillar thanks to the party and this plan does crumble (and he does indeed meet the death he tried to avoid anyway. master oogway one often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it)
anywho this is like a fraction of the insane lore i have just bouncing around my skull like a dvd screensaver i enjoy talking about it
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dogcodedcatboy · 10 months ago
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pre relationship: 3, general: 3, 6, love: 10, 13, domestic life: 7 !!
hihihihihihi !!!! i cant wait to start s2 tonight i need to see my kittycat i need to see him !!!!! thank u for always sending asks my aaroman warrior o7 u should rb this ask game 2 so i can pelt u w waystarshipping and jermstone questions
Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?
absolutely fucking not!!!!!!
by the time any of the roys find out its too late, theyre already very much together. i think the fam knows abt aaron before 04x03 and like, willingly keeps him a secret (have 2 believe none of them would out a family member for personal gain. if not just to avoid the shitstorm for logan). some of them wuld obviously would prefer for roman to a) not be gay or b) at least not be dating a Fucking Weirdo. oh well!
aarons friends are also not. thrilled. for obvious reasons. reactions range from 'ok...u r gold digging, right? does this mean we can afford a hot tub :D' to 'morally/ethically what the Actual fuck is wrong with you bro???'
What was their first kiss like?
hmm the first time they kiss probably an impulsive. half-drunken thing. prolly after their first '''date''' (which roman insists is not a date despite calling him up and inviting him for dinner and drinks). it's rlly messy, roman is kind of an awful kisser at first (out of practice #nobitches) so aaron is kinda like...ok....but it's very endearing somehow.
What’s their relationship with each other’s families?
i could write a dissertation on. aaron and the roys. i think he's...polite? i mean, he knows roman is super close to them despite how fockin shitty they are to him all the time, so he's willing to grin and bear it. he doesnt like ken for Reasons (annoying on twitter, involvement in 'dog pound', annoying in real life)*, he's rightfully intimidated by shiv, he thinks connor is rlly fuckin funny, he has a weird psychosexual obsession w tom (as stated, would put tom in a saw trap), he thinks greg is cool and would like to talk about his record collection w him.
*authors footnote: i personally like kendall a lot i do love the fucked up brother dynamic between ken and rome BUT aaron is protective and an asshole and doesnt care abt nuance if youre mean to his boyfriend you go to the gulag for 1000 years ! aarons friends are hsi family! he lives w his childhood + college besties! they are all spectacular assholes as well so roman weirdly fits in! roman likes aarons bff because he is also a snarky asshole. one of aaron's college friends actually is from LA, so that's another person he can relate to somewhat. ovi he's a rich asshole tho and like, has to adapt to how normal people live and socialize (aaron and his friends arent even normal theyre like a weirdly codependent found family) but. they all kind come around to him! (will post extended oc universe lore someday on god)
Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?
i think they both are kinda stupid abt feelings and prefer physical affection, as sometimes its easier to manage than like, pouring your heart out. aaron is big on words of affirmation tho, once they r more comfy in their relationship/roman is more comfortable w receiving stuff like that.
Who remembers the little things?
aaron is def a romantic, he's big on anniversaries, quick to pick up little things like roman's coffee order, his favorite snacks, etc. roman is a little rusty but is surprisingly sensitive when he cares about someone. he's super in to aaron, so he makes sure to note all of aarons favorite movies and albums (so he can bring them up later and Totally sound like he knows what he's talking about).
[also they r a beautiful ocd (aaron) x adhd (roman) couple so in general aaron is Incredibly on top of things (or else he might die, who knows!) while roman is a fockin mess with remembering shit.]
Who kills the bugs in the house?
the real answer is gustav. he eats them. aaron will hold the cat up and he will take care of business.
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writesowhatnext · 4 years ago
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with all due respect // remus lupin
Summary: Remus and the reader are best friends and that’s it and it’s so absurd that Remus keeps insisting that they’re anything more, right?
Request: hii! idk if you’re busy w requests, but if you’re not - i was thinking of a remus x gryffindor! reader where theyre best friends and they both like each other but reader tries to ignore her feelings since they’re both prefects and she doesn’t wanna need any distractions, but remus really really wants to be something more and it’s just him trying to get her to confess and the entire imagine is just built off of the line “friends don’t look at friends that way”
A/N: I LOVE this request ok & it took everything I had not to just say “respectfully, you’re full of shit” but I'm not completely sure if I like this
Reader: unspecified, prefect
Warnings: firewhiskey, swearing
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The six of you were sitting in the boy’s dormitory with the sunlight of golden hour pouring through the windows just before it disappeared over the horizon, just laughing together. It was a Friday; the best day of the week for late-night conversations, playfighting and stupid dares. James was leading the charge that night, making sure none of you would forget the consequences of Sirius’ most recent romantic endeavour.
“So, he sees her coming up to him and he’s just beaming, right,” James began, directed mostly at Lily, who hadn’t been there at the time. He was thriving off of Sirius’ misfortune, as proper friends do, and enjoying his groans and Peter’s rambunctious laughter in equal measure. “But then, she stops right in front of him and just smacks him right round the face.”
“What did you do to her?” Lily turns to Sirius, a dry look in her eyes and a smile on her lips. You laughed at her expression, meeting Remus’ eyes across the circle. His smile widened and you found yours doing the same.
“I did nothing!” Sirius insisted, his hand smoothing over his cheek, a phantom bruise to his ego.
“He slept with her brother,” Remus said into his mug of hot chocolate, hiding his smile. His eyes crinkled as everyone laughed and Sirius shoved him to the side, muttering about not being able to keep a secret.
“Blimey, Pads, you’re sodding awful with girls,” James said, perhaps unwisely given his track record.
“Pot calling the kettle black there, Prongs, don’t you think?” Remus had a twinkle in his eye as he spoke and you couldn’t help the snort that left your nose at his words, biting your lip to hide your grin. The room erupted into laughter and cheering at James’ indignant protests. Everyone teased him as he pouted towards a completely unaffected Lily, but you found yourself distracted from the chatter, too busy staring at Remus.
All he was doing was sitting cross-legged opposite you, but you couldn’t deny how warm you felt. The sound of his laughter stirred something inside you and the way the light hit his face tightened your chest. You just sat there, admiring, struck by the unfamiliarity of the feeling. Your eyes trailed over the dusting of freckles across his nose and traced down his smooth jawline, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he laughed, peaking above the loose collar of his shirt. His sleeves were rolled up, a good look for him, and his Gryffindor tie was strewn around his neck. You followed the shiny pink scars up from his neck to his cheek, disappearing into his hairline, his bird’s nest. He was grinning brilliantly and as you made eye contact, your breath caught in your throat and your smile died on your lips.
For a second, you felt like it was only you and him in that room and even as his grin faded into something a lot less toothy, his expression pulled at your chest. The feeling made you weirdly nervous, something you’d never been with Remus, one of your best friends. His eyebrows drew downwards, knitting together as you stared at him and for a moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. But then, you noticed Lily turning towards you from the corner of your eye and you swallowed, smiling at Remus again and casting your eyes to her. Judging by her face, she had no idea of what had just transpired, and you were glad for it. When you looked back Remus, all but a second later, he was already laughing with Peter and part of you felt oddly disappointed.
You’d forgotten all about that night by the time the Gryffindor Christmas Party rolled around. Repressed was a more apt word, but you were in the business of lying to yourself when it came to Remus. The party, which you had expected to be horrible, was full of students from other houses and presents and lights and, most importantly, firewhiskey. You cherished the warm thrum of it in your veins and as you looked around from the corner of the fireplace, it seemed like many others did too. You saw Remus over the crowd, on his own by the stairs to your dorms and a strange determination overtook you. As you breezed past the guests to reach him, for what you didn’t yet know, you slid past a few couples making out in the corner, Lily and James included. You rolled your eyes at them, smirking a little. Your distraction, though, appearing to be fatal as you rushed straight into a taller Hufflepuff student. He was apologetic at the decent-sized firewhiskey stain on your jumper, but you just shook your head with reluctant forgiveness. You’d just have to change.
“It’s okay!” you swore, walking backward towards the staircase, now out of sight from the party. With a sigh, you turned around, only to bump into someone else, Remus this time, the man you’d been looking for.
“Hey,” you breathed, a smile immediately growing on your face. He was surprised at first, his eyes wide, but then he relaxed as his hands braced on your elbows.
“You alright there, Y/N?” he asked, a smile playing on his pinked lips, amusement in his eyes. As you looked at him, you noticed the golden shades in the green of his eyes and the way his freckles were actually scattered all over her face, not just his cheeks and you bit your lip at the sight.
“You seem a little…” he trailed off, tongue poking between his lips. “Tipsy.”
“I’m excellent,” you grinned, happier still when he matched your expression. “I was looking for you!”
“Me?” he frowned a little, his lips still curved upwards. You nodded, suddenly very aware of how close you were. You were grateful at the firewhiskey for taking the edge off, not sure you’d be as carefree in this situation if you were sober.
“Remus, you’re very pretty.”
His eyebrows shot up at your words and his mouth, you were sure, you’d been staring, morphed into an ‘o’ shape. You smiled. Slowly and surely, you leant forward, close enough to feel his breath on your face, your noses centimetres from each other. You bit your lip, looking up into his eyes.
“I think you’re very pretty too,” he said softly, each syllable a breath of air on your skin. The shock had drained from his features and it left behind something else entirely, you thought, as you noticed the gentle curve of his lips and the strange look in his eye.
“I’d like to kiss you,” he said, his fingers curling around your elbows.
You opened your mouth slightly, leaning forward again, feeling all the confidence three shots of firewhiskey had given you.
“I wish you would.”
Your lips barely even brushed his when you lurched backwards, panting in shock.
“Mooney!” Sirius yelled, very obviously worse for wear. He turned to you, clearly unaware that he’d interrupted anything, and his smile grew. “Y/N! What are you two doing here?”
You licked your lip, blinking away whatever haze you’d been in, avoiding eye contact with Remus, who you felt staring straight at you.
“I just- I need to- I should change.”
With that, you disappeared up the stairs and into your room, not really listening to Sirius’ loud shouting as you slammed the door behind you and rested your back against it, huffing a little. You rocked your head back to rest against the wood and screwed your eyes shut. Had you been about to kiss Remus? Had he been about to kiss you?
Remus didn’t bring it up the next time you saw him, and you told yourself you were grateful; you were a prefect, and there was a war starting, and the last thing either of you needed was to be distracted by feelings you weren’t sure of. You hoped he’d forgotten about it, but when he ended up casually playing with your hair, you were hard-pressed to convince yourself otherwise. You’d been sitting by the Black Lake, soaking in the view of Hogwarts together before your Christmas holidays, all six of you in a circle. Somehow, you’d landed with your head nestled in Remus’ lap. Before the incident, that would’ve been a common occurrence, but now, now it felt different. Especially when, between long, delicate fingers, he started playing with the strands of your hair, plaiting them gently together.
Your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, enjoying yourself far too much. When you opened them, though, Remus was staring down at you with an unreadable expression. His cheeks flushed at being caught but neither of you looked away. The familiar lump in your throat returned as you looked into his warm eyes and you realised that you wouldn’t have been able to say anything if you wanted to, the words catching on your tongue. He opened his mouth to speak and you felt a strange amount of dread; whatever he was going to say wouldn’t be good for your denial or your friendship. And so, you did the only thing you could think of. You sat up abruptly, heaving yourself to your feet and then you all but ran off, sending a half-hearted excuse to your friends behind you.
To say the whole situation was killing you would’ve been dramatic, but not actually an understatement. You sat there at a desk in the library, rubbing your eyes as you tried to concentrate on your Charms Through the Ages textbook. Unsurprisingly, your effort seemed to be proving futile. You just couldn’t shake the idea of Remus and you nearly kissing from your mind, or the way he’d looked at you by the lake. The chair opposite you dragged out loudly, quickly, and had it been anyone else, you would’ve been grateful at the interruption to your daydreams. Just your luck though, you looked up into soft green eyes and an almost frenzied expression.
“Why are you avoiding me?” he asked, forgoing small talk with a frown. You blinked.
“I’m not-“
“Ever since,” he blushed, “the Christmas party, you’ve been avoiding me.”
“That’s not true – we were on the grass together.”
“And then you ran away.”
You sighed at his deadpan look, rubbing your eye again.
“The party was a mistake,” you lied.
“No, it wasn’t.”
Your eyes snapped to his in surprise, watching his determined scowl closely. You weren’t used to Remus being so assertive; not to say that something didn’t stir at his direct tone.
“I thought it was to you,” he nodded, swallowing. “I really did, because why wouldn’t it be, I’m just your friend. But then, then, you look at me like that and I know you feel it too.”
The blood rushed from your face at his words. Were you really that transparent?
“Remus-“
You made the mistake of looking into his eyes and your mouth went dry. A shudder ran up your back as you coughed quietly, looking down.
“Remus, we’re just friends-“
He huffed, crossing his arms and leaning forward on the table.
“Respectfully, Y/N, and I mean this respectfully, that’s bollocks and you know it. Friends-“ he exhaled shakily. “Friends don’t look at each other like we look at each other.”
“Remus…” you pulled your top lip between your teeth, knowing he was right and not being able to stop yourself. “I don’t think of you like that.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
“Rem.”
You bit the inside of your cheek.
“Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t.”
You thought for a second about things you shouldn’t do. You shouldn’t hurt your best friend. You shouldn’t distract yourself from your duties. You shouldn’t be talking this loudly in the library. You shouldn’t say what you were about to.
“I don’t like you, Remus. I don’t know why you think I would.”
To think, your heart broke at your words, and so you could only imagine what happened to his. An almost pained expression took over him before he resigned, nodding and leaning back. He clenched his jaw once and turned to face the side. Both of you knew it was a lie, but that didn’t matter. You’d already hurt him. He shot you one last look, a hurt glance before he stood up and walked out, leaving his chair out and you on the brink of tears. You let yourself sit there for a few moments, your chest uncomfortably tight, before you wiped your eyes and got back to your Charms textbook, not entirely focused.
Your logic, it seemed, had been monumentally flawed. Whilst being with Remus would probably be a distraction to your studies and duties, not admitting your feelings and losing your best friend was even more of a complication. The others probably knew something was up with you two, despite the façade of normalcy: you and Remus had always had an easy chemistry, a precursor, you guessed, to your feelings, and now it just sort of seemed empty. You talked to each other, barely, but there was none of the usual spark between you and it was slowly but surely draining the life out of you. The dynamic of the whole group had been thrown off and it felt like nothing could actually make you feel better. You’d been stewing on the catastrophe of your situation all day when you spotted him in the corridor, alone, no doubt preparing to leave for Christmas. Only after you’d shouted his name did you consider that maybe a plan would’ve been a good idea. You were tired, though, of planning ahead.
“Remus!”
He turned around, eyebrows raised and lips parted.
“Are you alright?” he asked, his face sinking when he remembered that ‘you and him’ weren’t actually ‘you and him’ right now.
“No, not really.”
You had no idea where you were going with it, but there was a burning sensation in your chest you needed to get rid of.
“You were right, actually.”
He frowned.
“We’re not friends.”
Not your finest word choice.
“I don’t know if we were ever friends,” you persevered, regardless. “Because I wake up, and I think of you. And I go to bed, and I think of you. And I thought telling you that would complicate things, but-“
You exhaled, grateful to be seeing a soft smile on his face.
“There’s nothing complicated about us. It’s always just been us.”
You swallowed, somehow both impossibly nervous and impossibly relieved at your confession. He didn’t reply and your stomach sank; your head flooded with ideas of missing your chance and your cruelness ruining things.
“Remus, I-“
You didn’t get to finish. His lips were suddenly against yours and your words were trapped in your throat as you tried to process just how right this all was. You relaxed into him, hands lifting instinctively to cup his jaw. He pulled away just as quickly as he’d leaned in, your lips following him to prolong the contact. He wet his lips as you felt him grin beneath your hands, his palms reaching forward to rest on your hips lightly.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” he admitted, his cheeks turning rosy.
harry potter tag list:
@creator-appreciator
@loveisblindness​
@decadentwastelandtrash - it won’t let me tag you :(
@xinyourdreamsx​
@brainlesspasta​
@hariosborn​
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diavolosthots · 4 years ago
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Thanks so much for answering my last question I loved it so much😫💕 I’m in desperate need of angst rn and I had this random idea of the boys falling in love with one of MC’s past descendants from centuries ago who might’ve been a nun but always saw the best in the demon bois and never condemned them so to speak, and since they’re human they eventually die from old age. Just one of those sad almost fantasy like star-crossed lovers tales that make me weep, hc’s for that would kill me 💕
Since I'm feeling nostalgic anyway, might as well tackle this. Im only doing the brothers though :3
WARNINGS: sadness? Also like one curse word.
THE BROTHERS taking a trip down memory lane
Lucifer:
It wasnt often that Lucifer got a moment to himself, but sometimes, when it's late and everyone is surely asleep, or at least tucked away in their rooms, he takes a minute to unwind. Maybe he'll get a glass of century old bourbon or maybe even some deep red wine. Whatever it may be, he always sits himself down in his red cushioned chair and looks out the window, into the dark Devildom sky. More often than not, his mind begins to shift away from reality and he soon finds himself deep in thought, reliving moments from millennia ago. There used to be someone, someone who managed to amaze him in every sense of the way, and as he sits there, the cold glass of bourbon in his gloved hand, he feels the pain tuck at his heart... And he smiles sadly... Knowing that they're just that; a memory.
Mammon:
He loves life. Loves the thrill. Loves to have no consequences. He puts himself in dangerous situation. He loves to go crazy. But he doesn't do it for fun. He does it because every time he feels the world slow down and time catch up to him, he knows he's in a bad situation. He cant take it. Not again. To see, to feel, the dead body in his hands once more, murdered by the people he most hates, sends a shiver down his spine. The day has long passed, but he hasnt stopped running since. Running from them. Running from the problems. Running from himself. And he won't stop running, ever. Not until he knows it's safe. But in this world, is it ever truly safe?
Leviathan:
The reason he drowns himself in games and technology, maybe even the sea, is because he cant bear the pain of stopping. Its been centuries since he last saw their face, a picture thats slowly fading into nothingness every time he tries to reach for it. He knows it's useless, knows theyre long dead and definitely not here in the Devildom. For days hes searched for their soul, searched for their being when he heard of their death, but he knew they would never end up down here with him... He is a monster after all.
Satan:
Satan loves the stars. Loves the night sky. Loves the candlelight and moonlight. He finds romance in it; love. Peace. But he doesnt see it often. God wouldnt grant him such peace when his whole being is made of turmoil. So he sits there, alone at night, surrounded by thousands of stories that live forever, just like he lives forever, and he wishes he didn't. He dares dip into his head at night, past the anger, past the turmoil, and into the softness of himself that he hasnt felt in a long time. Not ever since they left him. Ever since their being turned around and walked out, saying hes too much. Too strong. Too angry. Too much of him. But how can he change himself? He would. For them. But he cant, not anymore. He realized that far too late.
Asmodeus:
Maybe the reason he despises real love is because of the commitment. Maybe it's because of the star-struck eyes. Or maybe it's because of the happiness it brings. Deep down, he knows why. But he wont admit it. Yet, when his body is weak, and the whores have run out; when he lays in his bed at night surrounded by lovers long forgotten, he admits it to himself. Silently. Slowly. Quietly. He admits that his heart has been stolen by someone from ages ago. He admits that he was once so in love, that it crushed him; betrayed him. And he swore to himself that he cant let it happen again. That he'd rather be the heartbreaker than the heartbroken. That he'd stay true to his demon form and put misery into the world, to protect himself.
Beelzebub:
Its days like these, where he stuffs himself full of food; all kinds of food. Human. Demon. Angel. That he remembers the one food he'll never touch. The food that shared so many memories between them and him. So many laughs. So many adventures. And as much as the memory of their laughter resonates within his heart, lights his whole being on fire, he cant bear to listen to it for long. Its like a cursed record that plays the sweetest melody, that draws one in and makes them want to stay forever, not realizing that the minute the sound stops, theyre already damned and left to suffer. So here he stands now, the food long forgotten, while he clutched his heart and tried to keep the tears from falling.
Belphegor:
Dreams are an escape to another reality. A world, where no rules and laws exist and its just oneself. He loves drifting of to sleep for that very reason; he can create his own world, live his own life. Yet, sometimes he is plagued by beautifully terrifying images of a person; a person he hoped to forget a long time ago. Seeing their smiling face, feeling their hand in his, and reliving the days in the sun, sends a tsunami over his soul; a tsunami thats sure to wash him away. But everytime he sees that face again, so realistic in front of his closed eyes, he screams. In panic. In fear. In sadness. Because he can't admit that he hates to be apart from them, for so many centuries long.
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cassyapper · 4 years ago
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OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW
this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3
anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts
so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.
so anyway.
pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic
the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction
also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts
also this motherfucker?
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literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it
sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:
also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:
also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose
ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and
i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:
however
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omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?
and now. sweetheart
the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible
sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)
i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho
LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE
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I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;
also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS
i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
anyway
when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP
i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero
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OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB
also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO
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hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N
this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,
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HERO FUCKS
sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but
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literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!
is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out
anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK
also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....
um but anyway,
i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey
also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE
ah but alas
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BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK
im so worried about basil ):
and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts
and then...the forgotten library part
i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god
these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW
i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god
MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW
GOD
okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u
but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo
LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him
ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel
but anyway....
aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all
ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey
speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit
ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK
THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK
OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH
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baby has acquired baby
kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them
i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching
ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD
THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST
oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain
the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry
MMMM BUT. HERO!!!
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I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH
god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK
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the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted
AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY
GOD
oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM
goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS
also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...
god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob
However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!
ohh my god this GAME
so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh
anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one
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exclamaquest · 4 years ago
Note
(I dont think the first ask sent so Im trying again) Ibuki used to help out Gundham with his animals a lot! She's one of few people he trusts with his animals, although only some of them. She's best with reptiles and birds!!!
oh it didnt send ty for sending again!! and YES YES YES TY!!! she’s nowhere near as good at animals as he is, ofc, but she grew up with them, so she knows how to help him take care of them, and she DOES love reptiles and birds the best!!
she especially likes the mockingbirds and parrots gundham keeps, and teaches them to harmonize with her :] if she can’t sleep you might be able to find her recording the tunes the birds sing too!! she’s sampled them for her music before, and makes sure to credit them all by name too. 
...she’s taught them some interesting noises FKDJSFKDS gundham walks in and gets greeted by like...heavy metal bird noises and hes like ibuki i swear to god im gonna kill you bc now theyre imitating like drum solos and shit in the middle of the night/on his shoulder and freaking him out FDKFS
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urmomification · 4 years ago
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WOOO POG DREAM SMP AU
theres 1.8k words and 9,393 characters of a schlatt au below the cut LMAO
[i was rambling to my friend and this is what came out of it! send me an abt it if u have questions i would love to talk abt it more pls]
(slight body horror/gore tw!!)
slams fists on table rattling any dishes on the table au where schlatt doesnt die of a heartattack and tubbo locks him up to rot basically and his horns grow into his eyes effectively blinding him and chained his hands together and basically a leash on him to keep him from moving around in his cell so he cant do anything to break the horns off before they get too long and one day when technos breaking into lmanberg he gets chased into the prison and loses them in the halls before coming across schlatts cell and schlatts calling out like 'whos there i can hear ur foot steps whos there please someone whos there' etc yk and technos speechless they thought they executed him to keep him from causing any more problems in the country but this is this is just much worse than anything he even thought theyd do and hes standing in front of schlatts cell just looking at him as if hes imagining it he knew lmanberg was bad but holy fuck they just let this man rot in a cell to the point of his own horns blinding him and giving him no aid or way to ease the pain so he makes himself known and schlatt 'ive never been so happy to see, well, hear an anarchist in my life, its good to see- hear you technoblade' and chuckles and blood runs down his face like tears would, few drops landing on his clothes before techno starts trying to get into the cell to take him out of there he cant leave him here sure he was an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but he had standards and now that schlatt wasnt in power he had nothing against him really considering he isnt a citizen of lmanberg so he manages to pick the locks enough to get him out of there, schlatts arm slung over technos shoulder they stumble out of the prison building and as they slowly make their way to the nether portal to get back to technos base, they run into tubbo and quackity, schlatts old right hand men and they try to stop techno bc hes well an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but the glare techno gives them levels them and theyre left staring at each other for a moment when schlatt 'whyre we stopped whos there tech' and techno mumbles 'tubbo and quackity schlatt' and schlatt just furrows his brows as far as he can without sending excruciating pain into his eye sockets before he purses his lips and asks 'are they going to try and stop us?' techno looks back at the other two 'no they wont, isnt that right boys?' tubbo and quackity slink away allowing techno and schlatt to the portal and them going thru, schlatt still silent as he tries not to trip over technos cape or off the ledge of the bridge passing over the lava lakes, they make it to the portal and begin the walk across the arctic tundra to technos house, philza isnt there right now so its just the two of them and techno leads him up the ladder to his room (its not really a room i think its just a bed, a bell and an enchantment table) and sits him down on his bed mumbling something abt being right back and he is with some medical supplies and a change of clothes to clean everything up, they dont talk techno works in silence and when schlatt winces he mumbles a small apology before continuing eventually techno got schlatt as cleaned up as you can get someone w horns in their eyes and a sweater to keep him warm and finally starts asking questions 'how long had u been in there' 'lost count' 'did they bring you food' 'a chests worth at the beginning of the month' techno sighs 'i thought they executed you' 'tubbo chickened out despite me being 'an active threat to our peace in lmanberg' and locked me up a few days after u set the withers loose and dropped off a chest of food once a month and most of them refused to talk to me others couldnt even make eye contact with me, other than the few instances where they said things like 'heres ur food' or 'u deserve this' or 'i cant believe tubbo let u live' i talked to no one other than myself for however long i was in there' techno stands and walks around for a moment before flipping some pages and schlatt can hear him gasp quietly in mild surprise 'what is it tech' looking in the direction he heard techno from and techno says, turning to face schlatt on his bed 'schlatt that was almost 3 months ago' a single beat of silence rings for what feels like forever 'oh. i, i didnt think itd been that long. though it would explain my current predicament' loosely gesturing towards his face 'oh right abt that i have a few questions if ur ready to answer some' schlatt hums and techno grabs a pen and paper and sits next to him in case he needs to take any notes for future reference 'how fast do ur horns normally grow' 'idk just a steady amount my whole life pretty much' 'will they ever stop growing' 'they generally stop growing around 30 and continue to grow more in width than length' 'did anyone who brought u food notice' 'they grow quickly and by the time the person w the third chest came around they were getting close to my eyes but they didnt listen to me, no one did' he sighs looking down at would be his hands 'the odds of both of my horns growing into my eyes and blinding me like this are so low but of course it would happen to me' a chuckle void of any amusement 'because losing my country and my people and my power wasnt enough already' techno stands up 'you had that coming' schlatt actually laughs this time, short and curt 'ok fair, u were the one that took me down afterall' and from then on schlatt lives w techno and phil and eventually tommy and then without tommy (tommy was Not happy when he found out that schlatt was living with techno but he needed somewhere to stay too and techno happens to live in an arctic tundra where only a handful of people know how to get to so he didnt complain too much) and eventually techno saws off schlatts horns at the bend adn removes them from his eyes bc if they kept growing into his head theyd hit his brain and kill him on top of blinding  him and techno gags and almost throws up despite not being sensitive to gore  and gives schlatt a bandanna to cover the holes in his head for everyones sake and once they heal somewhat he can find something else out and thats how they live, schlatt helps with what he can like farming w phil but mostly spends his time learning braille or something so he can read and techno gets him books in braille so he isnt bored or alone like he was in the prison and he feeds him and takes care of him and schlatt is funny and entertaining despite being blinded by something from his own body and the torture it was like to rot in a cell alone for almost a 1/4 of a year and nights when techno gets home late and hes shaken and the voices are bad schlatt will sit behind him and play with his hair and talk abt his own day and rub technos back and in return when schlatt relapses and gets violent and angry techno will wash his hair and read him stories until he calms down and hopefully asleep and no one told him the news that wilbur died so when ghostbur shows up and starts talking to him he treats him the same as he would wilbur bc he cant see that hes a ghost all thats different is his speech pattern and overall personality and one day he says 'ur different wilbur what happened to that, i dunno spark u used to have' and wilbur simply 'im not sure if im being honest a lot abt me has changed since i died, or so im told i dont remember much from when i was alive' and schlatt just 0_0 and then hes scrambling down the ladder and stumbling around the house looking for techno, finding him in the basement working on something and when he gets there hes out of breath and his hands are shaking bc holy shit wilburs not only dead but a ghost and he was just talking to me and he doesnt remember what i did and and and and techno is shocked to see schlatt in the basement and asks whats up and schlatt just 'wilbur died wilbur fucking died tech why didnt anyone tell him and now hes a ghost hes a fucking ghost who lives in ur house and doesnt remember anything he doesnt remember that he blew up lmanberg does he he remembers my name but not anything that i did what hes a fucking ghost techno hes a ghost holy fuck' and technos just standing there like ??? no one no one told him 'yea philza had to kill him after he blew up lmanberg i thought u knew thats why i didnt say anything' oh. 'phil, phil had to kill him?' 'yea its a touchy subject, dont bring it up' and simply goes back to what he was working on so schlatt sits on the ground by the ladder and listens to him work his brain going a mile a minute trying to comprehend whats going on 'would i have become a ghost if theyd chosen to execute me?' 'its hard to say im unsure if theres specific circumstances that contribuite to someone becoming a ghost but theres really no telling' and goes back to working yet again and from then on they fall into an easy schedule of techno going out and doing whatever an anarchist terrorist w a murder record does on ur average wednesday and schlatt stays home reading and organizing whatever he can based on size and feeling and sleeping in windowsills and schlatt greeting techno comes home beaten up and full of new resources and a side of bruises and cuts so he tends to them, getting better at maneuvering and functioning without needing to see then techno making dinner and then curling up by the fire for the night enjoying each others company as they talk abt their days :]
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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago
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okay! tma au time!
so i’m gonna start off by saying jgs is elias in this au. i dont care what you say about elias’ sexy voice or charisma or whatever, they’re both slimy and evil. also gertrude, so to speak, is wen chao. (bear with me pls)
most other people are assistants. i think? i mean lwj, wwx, jzx and a few others are?
(my brain says it would be funny to have lwj as sasha and su she as not!sasha but lwj deserves better than that)
i’m not really gonna follow the plot of tma bc rip
anyway!
the assistants are just kind of vibing in the archives when they discover that wrh, who’s like the chief of police and is an avatar of the slaughter, is actively killing people for the fears bc acab
does he have a deal with jgs and that’s why wen chao is the archivist? yeah probably. wen chao is the archivist bc daddy had connections. wrh put jgs in charge and sent wen chao to make sure everything was running how wrh wanted it to be
yeah, wrh wants to have control over all the fears or something idk
so wen chao is the archivist. but unlike gertrude who purposefully made things really messy and a nightmare he’s just really incompetent. wen zhuliu is the avatar of the distortion and theyre tight bc zhuliu owes wrh or whatever.
so the wrh stuff comes out and a bunch of people band together to try and bring justice to him and thus we have the sunshot campaign
maybe all the families have their own fears? the lans are the lonely and the nies are the hunt. jfm and yzy are avatars of the bad parenting idk. 
anyway, before they took any action, wwx had already started investigating bc wen chao is a lil bitch and very suspicious
while investigating wwx gets sucked into the archivist stuff and ends up being thrown into the tunnels under the institute with wen zhuliu who then proceeds to do distortion fuckery for three months
he finally escapes and kills wen zhuliu using the powers he’d begun to develop in the tunnels (it’s so strange that he stumbled across a tape recorder which he’d named chenqing and after that he kept finding statements,,, so strange)
he’s killed wen zhuliu so he goes off and kills wen chao and now he’s the archivist whoo
he joins up with the others and they go kill wrh, sweet it’s all dealt with but jgs starts spreading shit about how all the wens are terrible and must be killed (including wen qing’s family who are like paramedics who work ed with the police, so not cops but forced to work w/ them)
while jgs is touting that bs jgy is in the background slowly manipulating wwx into getting all the different marks (idk what they were called) from the different fears
he gets kidnapped by xue yang who is nikola and spends a month getting moisturised by him and told that wow he’s so impressive killing the other avatars,, im gonna follow in your footsteps (let’s say that avatars have a truce not to kill each other in this world. like they’re all equals and pretty much the same strength so there’s no real point in killing each other or trying to kill each other)
wwx escapes and im kinda annoyed we dont have enough bad guys for wwx to properly get his marks but whatever
he goes back to the archives and they come up with a plan to kill xue yang and they go off and do it
imma let you pick what happens here. does jzx die? do we let xxc and sl have the spotlight and this is where their story comes into play?
whatever happens, wwx goes into a coma for thirteen months and enter extremely hot avatar of the end who helps him wake up (mo xuanyu?? mo xuanyu.)
he goes back to the archives and lwj has been taken by the lonely while he was gone so he’s working with his uncle again (the lans are the lukases and i take no criticism)
side note: in this au wwx gets two phobias! (gee wwx! how come you get to have two phobias?)
so mr spider was definitely a thing and so were the dogs
while wwx was on the streets he found this book and he’d just started learning how to read so he decided to practise but then some other kid stole it from him and he ended up watching him get eaten by a giant spider also the dogs attacked him bc no rest for wwx
does wwx pretend not to be aware?? i’d say yes. if not bc of trauma then bc it’s super obvious and the look on lwj’s face when the jane prentiss equivalent attacks and wwx says wow those worms were a lil weird huh? is so funny to him
anyway lwj was in the know the whole time and he probably moved out of his family home and joined the archives so he could investigate jgs but then wwx dies and hes like aight yeah imma feel real lonely right now
so wwx comes back and jc, who had been the host of ghost hunt CW (cultivation world) and was attacked by an evil ghost, tries to kill him
after their fight and subsequent freedom from the slaughter and the eye (sans eye removing bc fuck that) jc moves in with jyl
im sorry that what the girlfriends isnt a thing here but i love the idea of a jyl who just isnt scared of anything because she’s seen death and just can’t get scared anymore
she still dates an archives employee though. it’s jzx, who is kinda like tim in this au i guess? did he die in that explosion? (i want to say no so jyl would be happy but if he dies and she’s mourning him and jc and wwx fought,, well now wwx is alone for bad decision times)
one day wen qing comes up and is like pls help my brother, he’s been taken by the buried so wwx runs off and finds breekon and hope (su she and jin zixun), kill jin zixun and steals the coffin
the rest of the wens are in hiding atm so he doesnt have to like monkey chain all the wens out of the coffin 
so wwx goes inside the coffin and rescues wen ning (bc jon and daisy’s relationship was super sweet)
they get out and immediately run away with wen qing and the rest of the wens
where do they go? wen qing’s cute cottage in scotland (or cultivation world equivalent)
so they’re living as farmers and wwx is getting sick bc he can’t get statements from here but he has to protect them bc the jins keep attacking (what are the jins working for?? idk. the vast? the dark? who knows, not me)
anyway lwj comes and is like you have to come back to gusu/the archives and wwx is like no! bc he has to protect the wens
so lwj is like fuck ive gotta move my timeline up and find a way to off jgs
jgy ends up doing it and lwj is like /: my revenge,,
everyone is happy! jgs is dead, wrh is dead! but then jgy starts stirring up rumours about wwx and lwj is honestly so tired of this shit
and bc people keep attacking the wens, wwx manages to collect the rest of the marks from the other fears
jgy sends his letter: dear wwx sorry for the deception yada yada yada
but wwx is aware of that shit and just kills himself before he can finish reading it
whoo apocalypse averted but lwj comes to help with the wens just in time for his burial so not whoo?
anyway we know wwx isn’t dead and he’s just vibing in another coma or something equivalent (why does he die twice in this au? bc idk how s5 will end but it’s a tragedy horror podcast and i want them to be happy so he gets to die twice)
anyway, the avatar of the web, mister manipulation and secrets extraordinaire nie huaisang is very pissed after jgy manipulated his brother into becoming an avatar of the slaughter and decides to just expose the dude
lxc kills him bc he deserves to kill jgy tbh,,, manipulative toad
nhs also restores wwx’s rep bc they were besties in uni and i refuse to accept anything else
he rocks up to the cottage/farm and is like hey guys i helped clear wwx’s name and wen qing is like hes fucking dead what help were you? and nhs is like ?? he’s not dead
so they unbury him and lwj wakes him up through the power of love and all that jazz
anyway, wwx manages to do *insert super cool thing here* and gets rid of all the fears and they get a happy ending bc i really want them to have a happy ending
do they stay living on the farm/cottage with the wens?? no but they buy a cottage nearby and happily live there together raising rabbits and growing idk pumpkins
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hereliesbitches--me · 4 years ago
Text
Full name: Jacob Alvin McCool
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Nickname(s) or Alias:
Abbadon
Papi (By Zoey alone)
Dad
Gender: Dude Species: Lesser Angel (Earth Angel variation) Age: 38 Birthday: December 25, 1977 Sexuality: Biromantic, but sexual trauma has left him very resistant about the touch of another man. Very narrow criteria for such a thing to happen, but not impossible Nationality: American, Scotish/Irish descent primarily. Has some latin roots from his mother’s side City or town of birth: San Francisco, USA Currently lives: New York City Languages spoken: English, mediocre grasp of spanish, some Gaelic phrases Accent/diction: Having lived in New York for more than half his life, he’s picked up on mixed dialects from different parts of the city.  But it's clear he's a New Yorker Relationship Status: Complicated, but Married with kids.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Height: 6’10 Weight: 400 pounds (His bones and muscle fibers are incredibly dense) Figure/build: Boxy, build like a tank. Inverted triangle shape with broad shoulders and a slightly narrower waist. Theres little to no fat content on him thanks to his unbelievably high metabolism, at least on the surface. Hair color: Black with subtle grey here and there if you look closely. Not that you would be able to. Short stacks Hairstyle: Shaggy, short cut. Never visits the barber, literally burns or chops his hair himself with claws bcuz of its dense fibers. His hair has a coarse strawlike texture bcuz he’s never learned to properly take care of it.
Eye colour: Sky blue Skin color: Warm beige Piercings: The only piercings he gets are from monster teeth, claws, bullets, and knives. Occasionally from being thrown through walls or cars and the shrapnel stabs a ew inches in. Not really too keen about getting a piercing tht can be pulled out in a fight Scars/distinguishing marks: Jacob is a patchwork of discolored scars all over, primarily from the experiments in the days before his regenerative abilities were fully triggered. His skin is rough, his hands and knuckles have well formed calluses, his face has priment scars down his eye, brow, nose, cheeks, and lips. Most of his major scars, particularly burn and piercing scars, are on his torso and his back.  His legs and arms are riddled with scrape and grazing scars, but are pretty well hidden under hair.
Preferred style of clothing: He essentially always looks like a caveman/ hobo at all hours. He has not had a true wardrobe change since he had clothes in his teens and early 20s given to him while he was doing illegal side jobs. His typical outfit is worn down dirty jeans, a black hoody thats got holes and tatters, and a white tshirt underneath. His pants and shirt seem ready to tear at the seams when he flexes but it aint broke yet, so he doesnt try to buy anything new.  He’s not used to having a lot of money so he’s stingy about what he uses it on. He basically uses it all on food or has Nikki manage it.
Frequently worn jewelry: A pair of dogtags with “DogBoy” embedded in them. Every other detail has been dented or scratched out. Belongs to who he believes to be his dad ( a man that everyone believes he made up)
HEALTH
Bad Habits:
Cigarette smoker ,
Junkfood eater,
Emotionally constipated and does not do well when faced with verbal confrontation about emotions (which adds to the complications of his marriage) . He’d much rather fuck it out and have everything be alright, but thats bcuz hes a neanderthal. Hes learned how to properly act and work through feelings
Has 0 kind of table manners. Eats like a wild dog. Has bad food aggression (which means, if he shares, he likes u)
Breaks shit when hes upset.
Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: Suffers a mild form of psychosis, experiencing primarily auditory hallucinations. Because of his heightened supersenses, he is almost always overwhelmed at any time, though he’s learned to hide it, which leaves him incredibly irritable at all times. His ailment also causes him to have no filter in the things he says, which means he tends to say the first thing that comes to his mind, no matter how ridiculous and irrational it is. He suffers mild paranoia and irrational thoughts, which plays in part with the belief of who his parents are (His records are lost when they found him as a stray 7 year old in the streets of a natural disaster. He swears his father is a superhero called “ The dogboy '' of San francisco, his mother was killed by demons and his dad died stopping the natural disaster. Chalking it up to shock, they later believe its his delusions of grandeur in dealing with the trauma of his parents death. Which is, in fact, not true -- to be expanded on later ) . Along with that original condition, he also has symptoms of PTSD stemming from the events which triggered the full extent of his abilities.
Any medication regularly taken: As desperately as he wants to be medicated, his high metabolism makes it nearly impossible to be medicated with lasting effects, on top of his fear of hospitals , his only relief comes from Rosie’s ability to temporarily block and dull his senses to a livable level.
PERSONALITY
Personality: At first glance, Jacob would come off as your cliche bad ass bad boy type that's so haunted by his past that he won't let anyone in. Which, to some extent, he is. But, the major difference is Jacob doesn't use his past as a shield or an excuse for anything. He’s a traumatized man that's socially awkward and closed off from people because, with a reputation of being a monster and a killer everytime you try to help people, those words do hurt when that's all you've heard all your life. Jacob is a boy living in a man’s body, a clam that faces the world that damns him with a glare and a scowl in every initial meeting, til a string of kindness gets the turtle out of his shell. He perceives everyone as trying to hurt him or use him in some way, but be around him long enough and he begins to warm up. Despite his brutish nature out in the fighting field, behind closed doors he’s much more quiet. Keeps to himself, really only speaks when spoken to -- and anyone who tries to start a casual conversation with him will legitimately shock him because he’s hardly ever treated like a human being. He may start as a dickhead that ignores you and brushes you off, but with enough consistency his edges will soften. One catch is the fact that Jacaob is painfully blunt with one hell of a potty mouth, usually saying the first thing that comes to mind primarily because hes used to only talking to himself or his dog. Or snapping back at people in self defense. Ever since reuniting with his family, Jacob is learning to be more of a family man, along with playing nice with others (something which he’s never had to do before, and its like pulling teeth when they are loud idiots) He learns everyday and he’s trying to curb his initial dickish behavior to something more neutral, to learn to process and face emotions in a healthy manner, and be as close to normal as someone like him can get. Just dont be a dick and make demands, and he’ll be a good boy. Can't stand loud or pushy people invading his space
Strengths:
A diehard friend once you've gotten him out of his shell. He may be awkward but he’s willing to throw a bitch a few blocks if needed
P good shadow caster if u gotta hide from the sun since hes a tall bitch
Will lend u his jacket but it stinks. Sorry folks
Will try to make u friends with his kids. Especially his daughter, she needs friends and so does his wife
The scary one u send out to intimidate the shit out of people bcuz his reputation precedes him
Wanna get carried? People don't weigh anything to him. He could hold a couple of em in his tendrils
Weaknesses:
Food, especially sweets of any kind. He’s entirely  food motivated and his senses get thrown off by food. Because of his metabolism, he has to eat large quantities of food regularly.
Hyper senses means hes easily overwhelmed by particularly loud sounds and strong smells
He likes feeling like he's needed. He’s drawn to it. Deep down, he really is just a boy in the body of a man looking for a place in the world beyond being a big stupid weapon for everyone. He’s searching for that intimacy of understanding , gets frustrated so easily
His first meetings with people tend to be aggressive and dismissive, but its mainly because he’s unused to being greeted with kindness. He perceives that everyone is looking to take advantage of him or theyre trying to hurt him. He has a bad reputation because when he tries to help, he causes heavy collateral damage in the fight, thus painting him as a danger to the city. Used to being treated like a monster, so he clams up into his little bubble before he gets his feelings hurt. His paranoid thoughts dont help.
Electrocution can stun him better than any bullet, tank shell, or fire based weapon can. Also triggers trauma flashes
Fears/phobias:
Hospitals / Doctors / Medical equipment
Deep water (anything deep enough that he could drown in. Because of his dense body, he is not a strong swimmer and quickly sinks)
Being in chains and restrained
Abandonment / being alone / being rejected
Hobbies : 
Jacob has a part time job besides the angel project , working at a small hole in the wall bakery in the less than savory parts of New York City. He is a cashier and helps with the baking process , gets free samples, and closes because no one has the balls to try to break into the shop when he's there. .
He thoroughly enjoys baking and sharing that with his family. Cooking is one of the qualities he works on with Nikki to bond over.
Sparring with his twins. He tries his hardest to adjust to the abrupt change of his life, but he loves them. Doesn't want them to be tormented the way he was.
When he's not working or with the family, he aimlessly wanders around the city out of habit. Likes running and jumping across rooftops for fun.
Carving figurines out of wood or large stones he finds, using his claws
Theme Song:
Behind Blue Eyes by limp bizkit
I Dont Care by Fallout Boys
I know im a Wolf by Young Heretics
Quirks:
His sugary diet actually makes him have a natural sweet scent underneath his natural musk, especially his sweat. Jacob has restless leg syndrome when he sits, especially when he has particularly bad auditory hallucinations. Tends to sniffle, breathe heavy, and constantly run his hand through his hair to soothe himself. He swipes around his ear like there's an irritating bug because he tends to hear a buzzing a lot. It is known that he is considered one of the strongest angels in the world in terms of raw physical body power.
SKILLS
Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles? Who even drives in New York? There’s public transportation, there's running across rooftops like the cryptid u are, or jacking someone’s bike. Yeah, he can drive, but not legally. He learned on his own and hasn’t really bothered with going for a license
Education: Dropped out of highschool in senior year, then got booted out of his foster home when he hit 18. Basically grew up in the street among criminals til he was kidnapped, so he has no real education beyond what he hardly paid attention to in school. He knows the basics of math, reading, writing -- has impeccable knowledge about human anatomy for illegal reasons, but no one gotta know that. He never thought about college or what kind of steady career he would have in life, he lives everything day by day. No one is gonna say no to Jacob McCool without pissin themselves
EATING HABITS
Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore: Omnivore with a heavy preference for meat as a primary part of his diet Favourite foods: Beef, lamb, poultry, Sweet rolls, Cake, Donuts, ice cream, candy
Disliked foods: Not an avid vegetable eater in the slightest. Will not eat it raw. Someone gotta make it appealing or trick him into eating it.
COMBAT
Peaceful or aggressive attitude? Jacob is irritable and only wants to help people. He’s not usually one to start shit unless he thinks absolutely necessary, nor is he the first to throw a punch. But once that can of worms is open and he thinks it's a worthy cause, he’ll fold a bitch like a pretzel. Humans aren't even worth his time, but nonhumans? Monsters? He’ll jump right into the brawl when there's no talking to be done. Talking is what other people do, he’s the muscle there to fight.
Fighting skills/techniques: Jacob is a physical brawler in the heavyweight category. Hits like a truck and relies on his own body’s durability to withstand the blows thrown back at him. He’s a full on offense style fighter  that’ll utilize grappling , throwing, and breaking bones to end a fight. All he knows is to fight monsters until the other stops moving or taps out. He has to practice restraint, which is incredibly difficult.
Special skills:
Heightened senses + Physical abilities (Strength, endurance, etc) His nose is stronger than that of a bloodhound and his hearing can be incredibly acute if he has enough focus.
Regenerative healing abilities, though nearly impossible to actually hurt  
him when his muscle and bones are fortified for battle. Has not had a break since he was a child, before his abilities were fully triggered. Can even survive without his head for a while. If it's blown off, then his body will have no choice but to rebuild with the expense of a huge amount of energy.
Bodily mutations (His muscles swell, harden, and change color to metallic like armor mainly on his limbs – able to form massive clawed hands and shield, and generally protect major body parts. However, cannot completely mutate himself at once. Can only do parts. ) + thick tendrils from his back. Strong, but not very good reach. It strains him to push it.
Resilience to superheat + pressure. Could take a supernova blast and still survive. Even tank shells with nothing more than bruising
Weapon of choice: He fights barefisted for as long as he can, or his go to are his claws purely for smashing and slashing.
Weaknesses in combat: Jacob is often impulsive and doesnt think much about whats going on around him while fighting. He causes a lot of collateral damage when he uses the environment around him like breaking off lamp posts, throwing cars, pieces of asphalt, etc. He thinks with an adrenaline fueled brain and somebody’s gotta slow him down . Because he’s a physical based fighter, he does not do well against magic users. He also hates the cold. Opponents like that are like hsi achilles and he shows wariness and discomfort when facing em. He does not like having the disadvantage but it effectively deterred him from just running in. Thinks with his stomach and doesnt exactly do well in fighting when he’s hungry
FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES
Personal history: Jacob has a complex history, but for him not even he's all sure what's truth from fiction. What he remembers from the earliest memories of his childhood was a fight that shook the world. Where demons overrun, people are being slaughtered, and his father fights the big monster in the sky, then in a flash everything is destroyed and gone. His mother hides him, then just like that he was alone. Jacob is found a few days later as rescuers search the destroyed remains of san francisco after what is considered the worst earthquake ever recorded, an event which affected the entirety of the United States. He’s only a 7 year old boy at this time , bloodied and scraped up, saying his parents are missing. When they look for records or his names, Jacob Alvin McCool does not exist. No birth certificate, no medical records, nothing. He knows his name and the name of his parents, but  there is nothing to be found. He has no choice but to become a ward of the state and becomes swept into the foster system. Where he would move home to home until he was 18 years old and dumped on the street. Jacob was considered a problem child unlike a regular boy; He was moody, destructive, unnatural with the things he talked about. He was stronger than other kids and broke things without meaning to, but when it happens regularly people doubt the truth to the constant excuse of “It was an accident” He had acute hearing, his teeth aren't normal, his eyes have an uncomfortable intensity for a boy so small, and he doesn't get along with others. Hes sent to therapy and everything he says is unbelievable. He’s sick, but it seems no amount of medication does anything to change it. He wont tell about all the bad things that happen when no one believes him, because there is no evidence for it. Its all in his head. Every parent who had him struggled, and eventually gave the boy up to the next set of hands with nothing but a garbage bag full of clothes. Every exchange closes the boy up more and more, pushing him further to get into troubling groups that seem just like him, since thats what everyone says about him. From highschool onward jacob was already running drugs and taking petty jobs for cash, but his reputation as a fighter was well known among them. No one fucks with the big guy At least not until someone is willing to pay good money to have him. Jacob turns 18 and dropped out his senior year of highschool, not that he was a stellar student to begin with, but his parents at the time couldn't care less what that wild boy did with himself. It was for that reason, when he disappeared, not a soul cared. For 4 years Jacob is kept secret, for someone else believes his story about his father, and someone wants to see his full potential reached as the father before him . They would achieve that no matter what it took. 4 years of Hell to add onto his shit life: tortured, shocked, pumped full of chemicals, starved. Stressed to the limit, pushed to the brink of death and brought back over and over again, scarred and branded, til it was finally enough to trigger the dormant gene. The monster they codenamed Abbadon is born, and far more than they bargained for. With nothing but a trail of red and a mess of meat left over in the hallways, their prized experiment returned to the world from the depths of Hell, and there was no damn way to get him back. That broken boy was now a animal filled with rage and fear. He has no home, no money, no friends or family -- at least, until he remembers Jimmy. Which led him to make the trip cross country to find his brother. Its thanks to jimmy that jacob even found his footing, for his brother came from a wealthy family, and was a genius that worked for the government to make weapons that handle their demon problem in the city. The idea is hatched then, with his new powers, that fighting demons and saving the city would be a good way to pass the time. Things dont always work out in your favor when you lack control, and people are afraid of anything not like themselves. Despite the hate and labels, he still tries to save the day then goes into hiding. Goes back to taking odd jobs and underground fighting, where he met Rocky. 2 years later, he meets the 17 year old Nikki. It was one sided, but she was persistent in pursuing him, having nobody just like him. She was a girl on the run for her life, with no home or money, and she needed the company. Despite himself, he accepted her in, related with her, and thrived in the prospect that she needed him like no one else ever did. To save her from the mental suffering of being Neikan’s vessel, Jacob willingly makes a deal with Neikan to have nikki left alone in exchange for a kid. Abiding by to the terms, the 18 year old was expecting twins, but when tragedy struck she blames Jacob for the demise of the pregnancy, and damns him to never show his face again. Not knowing what else to do, equally distraught, he left her there and wouldnt see her again for another 8 years. Having no idea the events which followed, now that he was no longer shielding her. Jacob had lived on his own in all that time, secluded and trying to find his footing in the world, hes just keeping his head above water, til one fateful day when a 7 year old shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his daughter. Jacob, at 32, was in denial , but he did eventually give in to help the kid find her brother, and eventually find Nikki from Rosie. Currently Jacob is trying to adjust to his new life as a dad and a husband, with complications given that he and Nikki are not the same people they were all those years ago. Theyre learning to be friend, learning to love like they used to. Work it out for the sake of their teenage twins, and get to know each other properly this time around. Jacob is now a prominent member of the Angel project and works part time at a bakery. Whenever he’s not working, he’s with his family or he’s wandering around the city keeping an ear out for trouble. He’s become a little more respectable now that he’s working for the legal project, and it makes it easier to learn to be normal.
Raised by parents? No, raised through multiple foster homes and group homes, but never stable or happy because he was considered a problem child
Parents names: Jake Alvin McCool(The Dogboy) and Stacy Rivera (Biological parents no one believes exists)
Are parents alive or dead? Jake died by sacrificing himself to destroy Spurious in what would have been considered a battle for mankind, to spare his wife and son. Spurious survived slimy and traveled back in time to alter the future, to make Angels hunted and illegal , and the timeline in doing so completely altered the boy’s reality for that final fight to be nothing more than a catastrophic natural disaster on a continental scale . Stacy was killed by a demon but hid her son in time to keep him from being found. Jacob still has the knowledge of the true reality, but when they found him he was only a 7 year old boy by himself, with no records or anything to be found. He has to live his life being told the parents he swears exist and the events which occurred are simply hallucinations fed by his psychosis, and it drives him insane.
Siblings:
James(Jimmy) Jones ( Not biological, but had been in one of the group homes with Jacob for a period. During that time, they considered each other as brothers who have to watch each other’s backs, until they were separated by Jacob being moved again. They kept in contact through letters, til Jimmy was eventually adopted into the wealth Jones family. Jacob disappeared for years til suddenly making his appearance in New York out of the blue, where Jimmy now lived)
Relationship with siblings: Jimmy and Jacob had lost contact for a good 5 years before jacob reappeared in the city. They used to write letters to each other, but because of Jacob’s constant moving and nightlife , rarely any of his letters were returned. They are estranged brothers, mostly on Jacob’s part, but Jimmy still tries to take part in his life. He tries to invite jacob out, hang out with him even if Jacob is considered a criminal, though most of his attempts fall flat. Jacob doesnt exactly mean to alienate his brother from himself, but he cant bring himself to talk about the things that happened to him, and a part of him is afraid Jimmy will sniff it out. Now that they’re both older and parents, theyre working on better communication so their kids can hang out with each other. Even if Jimmy’s kids are dragons technically.
Partner/Spouse: Nikki Ai (Wife)
Children: Kaiya + Ericiel McCool ( A set of Fraternal twins, Ericiel is the oldest and Jacob did not meet them until they were 7 years old, when Kaiya showed up at his door claiming she was his daughter. With his twins having been presumed dead, he thought her nothing more of an illusion til he was fused with her pet blobby, who was in fact a portion of himself left behind with her. The start of their relationship was rocky with his denial, but he eventually did warm up to the idea and turned himself around. He loves his kids even if hes not entirely the best at showing it. Teenagers are just fuckin scary)
Best Friend:
Rocky Blagrove
Rosie Valentine
Ivan Bellemore
Other Friends:
Members of the Angel Project
Brian Howska ( A sweet idiot that helps teach other little angels how to fly)
Nute Norbery (Rocky’s former roommate. He, Rocky, Jacob, and Brian were a little gang of friends)
Enemies:
 Kasimir (Kasimir he cannot stand for the life of him. He’s too loud, does not respect personal boundaries, and too full of himself to be even likeable. Jacob is especially irritated that Kasimir swears to everyone that they’re best friends)
Spurious (The God has had a vendetta against the McCool family since his initial defeat by jake. While he has much grander plans of taking out the Sun, Moon, and other Gods, Ruining the peaceful life of the last McCool is on his shitlist. He personally likes to torment jacob by irritating his hallucinations with demeaning voices and stirring up his trauma. Jacob has a vague idea who Spurious is, but its more of an instinctual hatred for the being)
Neikan and the Negatives (Sure he made a deal with her, but tehyre trying to kill his wife so now he’s gotta protect his family from em)
Pets: Roxie, an Irishwolfhound who belonged to his father. She was Jake’s familiar and always finds a way of getting back to Jacob no matter where hes moved across the country.
Verses included in: 
- Iniquitous essence (The Bio above) 
- The Widow 
- TBA
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girldraki · 5 years ago
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Kondraki?
thank you for sending this in god. i love mx bottledick booterfly king more than words can say 
sexuality: bi. assumed they were the token cishet of their friend group. clef and/or bright confess to them and they go “im sorry i hate to let you down but im straight” and then they keep thinking about it for two extremely stressful weeks and after that they come back and go “SO IS YOUR OFFER STILL ON THE TABLE OR”
gender: nondysphoric and nonbinary baby! doesn’t bother much with presentation or anything, just feels way happier referred to with neutral terms. genuinely noticeably more content after socially transitioning.
ship: still brightclefdraki! please help them they spent so long going “im a Cis Hetero Man” and now suddenly theyre really gay and their gender is transed and the have not one but two partners. they have no clue whats going on. oh god. oh fuck.
friendship: if they were genuinely put in some kind of situation where they could work with iceberg and iceberg was chilling on the jealousy for once, the two of them would actually do extremely well together as hubris kings. iceberg was nerfed by his ego because if he could get along with the senior staff other than gears they would have collectively destroyed the world
notp: if you ship them and draven i kill you in real life.
headcanon: theyre very autistic!! they got diagnosed... well, not LATE per se, since this is another thing glass identified pretty early on and they just didnt hear (oh brain filter :pensive:), but definitely as a grown adult, and they sorta had to work through realizing all the implications of that shit. (and also tell draven, who is also autistic, was diagnosed as a kid, and just sort of naturally identified them as such by default so that conversation was interesting)
general opinion: i like semi unironically say they did nothing wrong all the time for the extremely stupid reason that in yesterday they recorded a full length troy lament themed parody of rob cantor’s shia lebeouf song and because of some shit it would take far too long to explain that means that i would kill and die for them. i love you mx. you are quite literally too badass to live
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hcneysoaked · 4 years ago
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💘 with bev so we can pretend everything is fine <3
send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—
where they first met and how aha mental breakdowns outside of bev’s job </3 definitely called for some immediate bonding, definitely influences the sort of dynamic they end up having throughout too
how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved no flirting just terrible pining <3 well like some flirting maybe on eli’s part, but he definitely cuts back after the Initial Fuck Up ™ and it’s all replaced anyway with good old quiet pining
who fell for who first ( if applicable ) based on how things have been going definitely bev :((( it takes eli a while i think to figure out how he feels but he’ll get the re
where their first date was and what it was like ooo okay eli would definitely want to make it all up to bev and maybe actually have something planned out for once, but it’d be something lowkey…. dinner + something else that i cant come up with rn bgfkj but it’d go over better than either of them would expect i think, a good start
who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ) after it all starts to get worked out… things would likely still be a little tentative for a while, but with less tension… i think it might come as a little suggestion from eli that maybe they could try and give it another shot but not without a lot of reassurnace that’s he’s not just fucking around again
who proposes first wil d i’m not sure gbdfjkg i dont know if they would?? unless he sees its something bev seems to want, then i don’t think eli would totally considering making that move, but if she does then he’d absolutely make the effort and he wouldn’t say no to her either gbfjkdf
if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away mmm no one to really keep it a secret from i think?? well eli likes to keep things lowkey at first from like friends/family mostly bc he has a terrible relationship track record and doesn't want them getting on his case BUT…. it wouldn’t be bc of bev or anything
where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ) not to talk abt stargazing again but…… can u Picture it
if they adopt any pets together unless he is physically restrained then every universe has eli bringing a cat home at Some Point
who’s more dominant I feel like its safe to say eli gfdkfg though he’s not normally, he’s just stubborn and pushy
where their first kiss was and what it was like :((( probably during the first date? but like not til the very end and they’re like parting ways, and it’s really tentative and careful and maybe they kinda just go for it bc they wanna make sure they at least do this in case it doesn’t end up working out again
if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ) omg wa it the little star necklace :(( maybe not that exactly, but like something small like that, or like a little ring or something :(
how into pda they are eli is very much into pda, he’s a clingy baby, but I can see him toning it down a bit, especially towards the beginning again. they’re hand hold-y for sure, like smaller scale pda
who holds the umbrella when it rains eli bc Height but also bc he’s stubborn and likes doing little stuff like that for them
where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ) stargazing spot!!!! it's always the lil late night picnic
who’s more protective eli is definitely crazy protective of bev, very quick to defend and quicker to try and fight anything that upsets them
how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ) eli has no qualms over sharing his bed with friends so that could've happened already, but he’d be even clingier after they start dating. anything more might take a little bit to happen, but mostly bc i imagine they’d kinda try to take things slow
if they argue about anything neither of them are too keen on addressing conflict i think which probably isnt great in the long run gbdkfgdg but i dont think they’d linger too much on small things so any arguments are rare
who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ) probably eli jgnfdngd Possesive
who steals whose clothes and how often mmm i can see them both doing it, eli has no issues helping himself to bev’s closet unless they say something against it and i can see bev probably wearing little things around eli’s place
how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ) I think eli likes to hold on to bev, doesn’t matter how they’re positioned bgjdg
what their favourite nonsexual activity is I will Refrain from repeating the same thing yet again bu t i feel like they might be the type to go around for little late night drives you know? like going nowhere in particular, just talking and listening
how long they stay mad at each other mmm i dont think they’d stay mad for very long, especially given that i don’t think’d butt heads too much to begin with?
what their usual coffee / tea orders are mmm maybe sweeter leaning drinks, go for those holidays ones bgkdf
if they ever have any children together maybe….. maybe not…. but their kids would have a nice balance with both of them bgdfkj
if they have any special pet names for each other eli would absolutely shower bev in little pet names and terms of endearment he loves that kind of shit and would absolutely die if they use any of them in return
if they have any special pet names for each other eli would absolutely shower bev in little pet names and terms of endearment he loves that kind of shit and would absolutely die if they use any of them in return
if they ever split up and / or get back together they had that sort of together point at the beginning and then that break after before they Actually date but on from that, I don’t think they’d be on/off again just bc that bit cause enough angst as it was for them 
what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ) like a lived in kinda messy, vaguely organized and not too much of a disaster with little knick knacks they get together to decorate
what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like mmm i dont think eli would wanna leave bev on their own so he would at least offer to bring them to his family’s bc they’d throw a fit if he tried to skip gbfdkg and hopefully that goes over better than he’d expect
what their names are in each other’s phones a rotation of lil pet names probably followed by a string of little emojis
if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ) the stargazing!!! always!!! at least every other week, good clearing your mind activity!! 
who falls asleep first and who wakes up first I wanna say bev falls asleep first just bc eli tends to stay up really late and they might wake up first too, but probably depends on what theyre doing??
who’s the big spoon / little spoon eli might default to big spoon bc Big and again he just likes clinging to bev <33
who hogs the bathroom mm depends, but eli can spend forever in there making sure he at least Looks put together gfkd
who kills the spiders / takes them outside they both seem like the take spider outside kinda person kgdjf
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starryseo · 5 years ago
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After the young king your husband Woojin dies. The young Queen is left alone with her 5 children (00line and Jeongin pls oretend for the sake of the au). She has to rule a country, fight the courts intrigues and take care of her children. Can she manage w the help of her royal advisors Chan Changbin and Minhonor will she fail?
dear lord this got so much longer than i thought it would but it was such an interesting idea!!! tysm for sending it in!! im on mobile so can't add a read more cut, sorry! :(
oh god okay this is such a Wild idea, i love it! first of all, why'd you have to kill woojin :((( i can imagine him to be such a great father and king!! in public, he keeps them in check so they're never too rowdy, but he never restricts their freedom or fun bc they're kids yk, he's not gonna shove all the royal teaching stuff on them at such a young age, he wants them to enjoy their lives. if they do get out of hand -- which is only ever occasionally bc they have great parents! -- he just tilts his head and raises an eyebrow at them and they know they've gone too far. he won't do anything in public except keep them closer, but he doesn't need to do much bc the kids are all pouting that they've upset their dad so they're all rushing to hold onto his hand anyway. he'll speak to them in private afterwards - he never raises his voice at them, he'll have a good conversation. but he's always grinning by the end of it bc the boys are all frowning and pouting, jeongin's in tears and jisung's not far off, and he can't help but just give them all a massive best hugs bc those are his boys and he just loves them so much. he loves spending time with his boys, always trying to hurry up meetings so that he can play with them. he especially enjoys when they all gang up on him for sword fighting training and when he goes down bc obviously he's gonna let them win, he's dragging them all on the ground with him too, and you always come in to see them just laying down on top of woojin like a dog pile (jisung grabs your hand and before you know it, theyre using you as a cushion too!)
when he passes away, they're heartbroken. they never want to go sword fighting or horse riding, they can't even bear walking past the throne room. they have a vague understanding of what's happened - dad's not around anymore, mum's crying to sleep every night, everyone in the kingdom is quiet and sad and weeping. they never leave each other alone. all five of them stick together, and whenever possible, they stay by your side because despite the strong front you put up for them, they can see the red in your eyes and the bags beneath them. you have trouble sleeping in your bedroom - the room you shared with woojin - so they're always trying to make you stay with them when you tuck them into bed. despite having separate rooms, they're all bunking in hyunjin, jisung and felix's shared room bc it's the biggest. they sleep 2 to a bed and on your better days you join with the single boy on the last bed. other days, you know you'll break down when you see them bc they all embody little parts of woojin and it's all too fresh and it breaks your heart bc you love your sons but some days it just hurts too much to see them. on those days you stay in a guest room, getting little sleep -- if any at all -- and you reminisce all the good days, letting your tears soak your pillow.
the royal advisors do everything they can to help you. you take over woojin's role in meetings and making decisions over your country. usually you and woojin would have discussions, but now you're sitting in conversation with chan and minho and changbin. they're great help, each one amazing at their specific job. you bury yourself in work, even if you're falling apart inside, you can't and won't let this kingdom suffer - you're not just doing this for woojin, you're doing this for yourself, your family, your people. days go past quicker when you're surrounded by financial records and daily reports. but this all comes with a cost.
you spend nearly all of your days in the royal office. mostly alone. sometimes chan, minho or changbin will keep you company, going over files over work, but they're mostly keeping an eye on you, bringing in food and drinks because you focus too much on work at times. you eat because you know what theyre doing. your behaviour isn't just affecting you.
the boys are more rowdy now. they barely see you because you're always writing away in your office. they ask you to play and all they get is a "sweetheart, i can't right now, maybe your brothers are free, go find them" or "in a bit honey, come back in an hour, okay?" and when they come back you're going through a new pile, too busy to spend time with them. they get moodier. they love each other, but they're constantly fighting bc that should get your attention right? you always hated when they fought. the maids and servants keep it from you. they dont tell you about your boys' tantrums, they quickly replace whatever's broken, and make sure nothing leaves the castle. it's not fair to you bc you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and it's dragging you down.
it takes seungmin falling from a tree in the garden for the secrecy to break. he's always been the most cool-headed of the boys, mostly bickering to annoy the others, always joining in the fights last - if and when he did join. the others were fighting. again. god knows who started it but soon enough, jisung and hyunjin were wrestling, felix tried pulling jisung back and was elbowed in the nose, someone's legs stuck out and kicked jeongin, and seungmin just couldn't take it. he ran outside, far away and then up the closest tree. he didn't want to be seen or heard and only the nesting birds were witness to the anguish he let out up there. when a servant was calling out for him at dinner time, he was still teary-eyed, his hands weak from all the thrashing and punching and he lost his footing on the way down.
no one could hide that from you. you begged chan to finish off whatever papers you had left, although he was already on it. minho had also taken the liberty to lock your office door and changbin asked your maid to hide your keys bc now more than ever your family, your boys, needed you.
you stayed up with your boys that night. you had dinner in the bedroom since seungmin was bedridden, you fed him food, and snuck in sweet desserts as the others surrounded the bed too. you held each of them close to you, unwilling to not have at least two of them in your arms at any moment. you promised to do better, be better. and you wouldn't -- couldn't -- break that.
hyunjin was a surprisingly great babysitter. the other boys listened to him well, except when he occasionally bossed them around to sneak in sweets or do his chores, but he lead them well at all other occasions. jisung was a natural at horse riding. he kept in close contact with all the workers and the stables became his second home. he taught the other boys as well, and even tended to the animals when he could. he often ventured out of the castle with minho in tow, and he learnt more about his people and the workings of society from minho than anyone could ever think to know. felix was a whiz in the kitchen and, societal norms be damned, he had a great palate and was a huge help in the kitchens. changbin taught him how to take inventory and manage the stock, familiarising himself with the vast food places in the kingdom. they both journeyed out to other kingdoms to introduce new foods to your lands. seungmin was amazing at all things money. numbers came easy to him and he put himself in charge of all financial happenings and no one batted an eyelash. jeongin was still learning, but only from the best advisor in the castle -- chan, of course. he was their little apprentice and was quick to learn anything and everything he could to help out as well.
it wasn't a perfect system, you all had off days and bad moods, but you worked together, as a family, and it was beautiful.
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thepringlesofblood · 5 years ago
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thoughts on stranger things three  (spoilers. so many.)
this is just me yellin into the void as usual, but I like recording my opinions on things even if no one will read them 
good:
- every single scene w/ the robin, steve, erica, dustin gang, especially!!! the coming out scene. scoops?? iconic. steve and dustin’s secret handshake? transcendent. the drugged out back to the future scene? perfect. 
- eleven and max say fuck the patriarchy. love el’s new look 
- more competent women is always a win
- funhouse fight!!! carnival fight!!!FIREWORKS??!??!
- the destruction of the mall (sadly the only anticapitalist symbolism I could find)
- the scene after jonathan and nancy get fired where they’re angry about their separate marginalized identities making this loss worse. I really liked how it went into the ways it will impact both of them, and I especially liked when nancy got home and talked to her mom. 
- joyce going buckwild and getting shit done. 
- the portrayal of hypervigilance as a symptom of PTSD. All of these characters have seen some shit, and all of them pick up on the littlest things the second they present themselves because subconsciously, they’re always on edge, always aware of bad it could break. 
- most of will’s character arc. not all, but most of it. the queer experience of watching all your friends get dates and feeling like you’re missing out on something? trying to regain their interest because you feel lost and left behind? worrying that you’re not “growing up” because you don’t recognize romantic interest in yourself? not realizing you’re falling for your best friend until they get a romantic partner and suddenly you hate the partner even though they haven’t done anything wrong? a poignant, beautiful, very painful portrayal of queer teenhood. I really, really wish there was a moment that the audience realized will was in love with mike though. Like, it’s been building for a very long time. Also, a more thorough confirmation of will’s queerness would’ve been nice. I think they meant mike saying “you don’t understand bc you don’t like girls” to be that confirmation, but I want to hear it from will. Robin’s moment is so so so good though. 
- domestic fuckery 
- getting someone on the inside to help them/alexei as a character. not the symbolism or larger ramifications of his character arc, but how his knowledge and personality interacted. 
- mr clarke!!!!
- el going into someone’s memories again
- how prepared everyone is to fight because they’ve seen this shit before and robin and erica are just like ‘this might as well happen’ 
- keeping with the stranger things pattern of having a bunch of different groups of people all in different genres and then together they all meet up and go ?????
- I know every says billy didn’t get enough of a redemption arc but tbh I did not see his character development as redeeming in any way and I liked that. It didn’t excuse his abusive actions, it just explained them. There was no “oh he was secretly good all along”, no dramatic total character reversal on his death bed, just him deciding that he had enough of being controlled. Max didn’t get full closure with him, he didn’t say some big speech about being wrong or realizing the ramifications of his actions bc he hadn’t reached that point yet. he just said “I’m sorry” and died. that could mean “i’m sorry for how I’ve treated you”, “I’m sorry for how many people I’ve killed”, “I’m sorry for not being able to stop the monster”, anything. we don’t know what it means. we don’t get an explanation. It speaks to how survivors of abuse often don’t get to know why, don’t get closure, don’t get all the answers. 
- steve finally won a fight before getting the shit kicked out of him
- the whole no one knowing anything about each other bc no cell phones and/or wasnt there when It Happened. 
- Erica getting the DND set was poetic cinema 
- when joyce sees will on the firetruck and they run towards each other because finally, for once, will is completely unscathed, will isn’t the one who got hurt/possessed. I was already crying but this is the part where i had to get tissues bc I was sobbing. 
Bad:
- the red scare bullshit and glorification of capitalism. this show started out as “the US govt is doing shady shit” and now the big climatic “everything’s alright” is the army getting there?? what the fuck. There’s being accurate to the time period and then there’s sending a message. they could’ve subverted that trope in so many ways, but they just went for straight up “capitalism is great! fuck russia!” and I hated that. also, talk about one-note villainry. there weren’t even any dramatic monologues to make up for it, it just kinda sucked. 
- Hopper’s character in the beginning of the season. the scene where he gets wasted after getting stood up? shitty. not talking to el about his vaguely sexist overprotective actions? shitty. blowing up at joyce for no reason? shitty. he pulls it together in the end but it was OOC for a bit there. Plus I would kill for more “hopper and el work through their trauma together”, rather than “friend group splinters bc hopper did a yell” 
- I don’t know what to think about hopper’s death. It just hurts, and not in a satisfying, last harry potter book way. 
- why the fuck are the byers and el moving?????? did they ever give a reason???? WHY?????? WILL AND EL’S ENTIRE SUPPORT NETWORK, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH AND CAN HELP THEM, IS IN HAWKINS!!!!!
- the ads. omg the ads. lucas idc about your fucking coke. there’s so much goddamn product placement. christ on a goddamn bicycle. 
- previous seasons have had body horror, but it was all black goo so it was removed from reality and conveyed a psychological, otherworldly horror. and I liked that. WHY WAS THERE SO MUCH FUCJING MEAT IN THIS ONE??? THE MIND FLAYER LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MADE OF BBQ SAUCE AND I HATED IT!!! STOP!!!THE MEATS!!!!!
- can el not be injured......for oNCE?????
- also can people stop standing around staring at shit so much? theyve seen it before. it’s not like it’s a huge shock. people stand around for like 5 minutes before Doing Things and it annoys me. with the New Kids like erica and robin it makes sense but like....whenever theres a monster mike just sits there like :o cOME ON DUDE YOU’VE DONE THIS SO MANY TIMES GET A KNIFE OR SOMETHIN!!!
- WHAT. WAS. THE GREEN STUFF?????????????????? IS IT FUCKING PLUTONIUM OR SOMETHING???? WHAT THE FUCK!!! IF YOU NEED A MACGUFFIN BE LESS OBVIOUS ABOUT IT!!!
- idk about you but murray yelling at them about sex kinda rubbed me the wrong way. 
- speaking of, you caNNOT convince me that murray, 4 locks on the front door lives in a bunker murray, would take a goddamn enemy of the state to a carnival and leave him alone for any period of time. seriously????????
- look.....it was adorable.....i’ll give you that.....but.....the song dustin and suzy sang slapped me with secondhand embarrassment and genre disconnect so hard I found it impossible to enjoy. also...planck’s constant??? you could/......idk........call mr clarke????????? you’ve interrupted the man’s life for less!!!! I was also half expecting it to be joyce who remembered it from all the studying she did on the magnets. I did enjoy the whole “i met a girl at camp” story being unbelievable until it was but like I was expecting the thing she wanted him to say to be like a famous star wars love quote or something not an entire song jesus christ 
- if hopper turns out to be alive I will face god and walk backwards into hell. I suffered through supernatural, I will not be caught in a cycle of fake deaths again. 
- i get the whole “we’re growing up now” thing but aren’t they like 13? theyre still so young??? also like i dont rly care for the vague soap-opera-y vibes the core squad gave off. 
- the only people who got flayed were either a. already pretty shitty or b. completely unknown. like. it just made it less scary????
- hopper just fucking standing by the machine looking at joyce instead of running the 5 seconds up the steps into the room. seriously? was that supposed to be slow motion or was that real time??? 
- the whole thing with cerebro not working at the beginning sucked ass. 
- hey does mrs wheeler have eyes??? like??? there were exactly two (2) scenes she had with mike and nancy and both were Big Conversations like they live there right/????tbh i forgot she was their mom until those scenes bc of the whole billy thing, which i decidedly do not have an opinion on but like....do they eat breakfast there??? 
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anurean99 · 3 years ago
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A License to Be Mohawk
This is cool!
Various coporations in the 80s & 90s attacked my identity. They did so the moment I was born. Buffalo Media Group, Warner Brothers, Pfizer, Proctor & Gamble, etc. Now they are being killed globally. Various folk have stollen my identity for decades having felt threatened by the thought of a single indigenous person being the heir & owner of various American base stock. I have a drop of Iroquois blood, the woman who was ½ blooded was burnt for witchcraft & heracy in the 1600s upon contact with the white people. We've been slavedriven & forced into the sex industry ever sence.
As working class citizens utalizing my identity come to die (usually in corporate war) I come to be further licensed. This licensing is attatched to my SSN, Screenname, & Fingerprint. I have a driving record in California & Colorado.
There is a judge in Maine twice my age who decided he was me.
He must of wanted to cash a check.
Maybe he wanted annother man's pecker in his mouth?
Im now a licensed banker, accountant, realestate agent, lawyer, doctor, guilded actor, medical journalist, food handler, gun cartel, etc. The name Lambert isnt that common. It was criminally wanted the moment it stepped foot into America in 1830s & still is by many a Canadian Authority. It's also serial-killerville especially the moment a Warner pops up.
Did I tell everyone I sort of have leprosy?
Did I tell everyone Im sort of a drug addict?
Did I tell everyone I'm sort of a felon?
Did I tell everyone I'm sort of a schizophrenic?
Did I tell everyone I'm mentally disabled?
Did I tell everyone I have drawn federal disability income?
Did I tell everyone I'm sort of the gun cartel?
Did I tell everyone I'm sort of homeless?
Did I tell everyone my cousins strangled the Senator's Daughter & bombed Disney Land West?
The working class professionals running identity fraud to protect America & various corporations are losing their jobs due to my financial, mental, sexual, medical, family, & social histories. Theyre also losing all their belongings & their lives.
Lets send the cops from Portland after them. You know the serial killing rapist chomo baby rapist child touchers with badges. They all have wives and kids: they must be omni. Sexual, not vorous. Those men put their weenies in anything and everything.
They even violated a dolly downs...
That reminds me...
Lets go get drunk and put on a dolly act. We are such white trash liabilities, Dolly Parton ran away & refuses ro have anything to do with any of our primary corporations. Its because "trouble" is genetically engrained by god into the DNA of all corporate demon spawn. So now we crossdress and impersonate Dolly Parton to keep whomever happy who is needed to be happy.
We should start robbing these dirty kinky worthless dope smoking police at gunpoint in the bar. How old is Dolly these days? Is she still working? Shes not with Warner or RCA these days. Are we allowed to ask? We might need ourselves an old fashioned show from a set of Nashville Boobs before we have some Miss Piggy & Boss Hog & every last French Imperialist Cannibal Cookout with Brandy Wayne & Miss Wanda.
Shes hiding her age, and looking younger than me. The lady is passing as 30. I dont know if its a recent picture, but it is a later. That do look like her cousin in makeup, but they all is Partons. They white. They country folk. They patriots. They from Pigeon Forge. They all are very capable of looking the same & sounding the same. If it looks like Dolly, sounds like Dolly, smells like Dolly, Leave it alone, keep it happy, and it wont kill your ass. Everything about Dolly is perfectly fake and it takes an entire world of makeup science and voodoo just for her to stand on stage.
The woman is a white ass ghost of a zombie & she's cheated death more than twice.
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As people who are using my name are killed globally, I come to have more credit and copacity to move into various digs locally, federally, & globally. Too, I will get to sit here with both a syringe & pistol. I now have a home in New Zealand, England, Washington (State & D.C.), as well as California. There are wives, children & grandchildren anchored to my identity who need to processed for cannibal consumption. Atleast 12 of all these fucktards are using my name & identity in ways that are attatched to my fingerprint, be it on prison or driving record. This is anchored to my icloud account.
The realestate they have is to be sold and their accounts seized. This means, I get to move into a loft apartment above a storefront, do my voodoo, and have fun. This means, I can & may sit with kitty and laugh at the various forms of sexual harrassments we can put hollywood through.
I want Rachael Ray to poop on a glass table over a movie camera. Well, maybe just squat in a thong & plaid mini skirt (catholic school uniform) then use a hose & bag full of fudge. Why? Because an identity theif thinks he is the producer of her show. This is when and where he can get killed. This is also when everyone touching my name & paychecks get told to eat shit. They dont get paid if using my name: they get killed. Thier entire networth belongs on me & my PayPal account.
We need them killed, their bodies dissected, and them as well as their things and loved ones sold at top dollar. Why? Because I want sniffies & someone wants real food to play pretend with. She may pretend to be skinny while fat, sassy, & well over 350lbs. Big bitches in thongs get me hot and bothered.
They can eat shit if they think they have money enough to buy a promotional video of her making a shit, which they SHOULD have to eat, especially in today's age. She's not to be paid to make food. She's to be paid for her act. If she wants to make food as part of her act, she may do so. If she wants to make it on camera, good on her. If she's good enough to be on TV, fabulous. If people pay her, then they pay her. If the wants to be a cunt and just eat on her show and just talk smack and have guests who talk smack: she may be a cunt and just eat and talk smack on her show. She's an actress. She's paid to act. She's been requested to act naughtily. She may be rude and naughty on her show. Even if she commits a real murder as part of her naughty act.
The food doesnt even have to taste good and it doesnt even have to be real food. As long as it looks pretty & appealing. Thats what matters. It is allowed to smell like crap, and be made of plastic as long as it looks delicious on camera. She can sit there with a 1980s Fisher Price make and bake oven and pretend to cook and you nigger ass bitches from England & New Zealand have to pay her.
She's to be paid to "make"? No a-tard! She's to be paid to ACT.
I was paid to "make".
What did I make?
I made DOOKIE. Since she's being paid to "make" we now need an act of her "making" wich means are producing a schizen movie (fecaphile fetish pornography)
There should be a "kookoo" and a black box somewhere in her show before it's retired. Right?
While these buttheads are being killed...
I get to do things like smoke a cigarette & listen to Interscope Records. Maybe sit there in a dusty loft above an oddfellows lodge calling actresses just starlet, just hooker, tell them to lift my balls & sniff. You know, just have a long glamorous cigarette infront of them and tell them theyre fired. Why? Because they are just hoodrats who've been discovered and paid by gangs fed by thieves.
However, atleast they are fed right?
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notailtheories · 6 years ago
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NotailsAndMore Tweet Compilation 2
Last Compilation | Next Compilation
This section will contain the tweets that I consider make up Act 2. Because they are not actually from O-1, you could also consider them an intermission... But they still hold important information either way. OwO
This batch of tweets began a little over an hour after the last round stopped... Which isn’t a very long pause. You can most easily tell the difference because this person’s face is “TvT” rather than “=)”, if you’re looking to track these from the Twitter itself... OwO
98 |
I passed out and I wake up to me being logged into this creepy ass notail fact account. Fuck off who did this? TvT
Reply to 8, & 99 |
hate to be a stickler for details but you didn't say a fact just a question tho i *would* like to know some notail facts about my dark past :D
Holy fuck. Look if you know me O-2 sir I just want you to know I did not make this account or tweeped at you, I just woke up to this. Who tweeps shit like this at an O-class? TvT
100, reply, & 102, reply, 108, reply, & 112 |
X-7364 if this was you and some of your shitty experiments I WILL strangle all of your dirty rats. These O classes could order my death for no reason. You even used my actual email to do this. They could figure out who I am! TvT
Your buddy even said "fuck you" to me. Now that guy's got some real claws. >:3 
I am so sorry O-6 sir. I had nothing to do with this but I will still apologize. Please forgive me, I'm ok if you don't forgive my friend and kill him though. TvT
Grovelling ain't pretty, you know. But hey, you ain't done anything, right? Maybe I'll let you go. >:3
You would be most kind if you let me go for words that were not my own. Thank you. TvT
I'll think about it. >:3
Thank you. That is all I ask, and all I am allowed to ask. TvT
Reply to 98, 101, reply, 109, reply, 113, reply, 114, reply, & 115, reply, 118, reply, 119, reply, 120, reply, 122, reply, 124, reply, 125, reply, & 126 |
lol u rly had me worried there sweetie :3 im still curious abt this whole thing if u want 2 help me find out abt it :3
I didn't write any of this! This has to be an X class prank. "Ha Ha, make your friend pass out, make an account with their email and possibly kill them by telling O-6 that you love them. So funny!" TvT
lmao u creeped out like every single o class tho i think thats kinda an achievement u should be proud of urself :3 whoever made this account was saying some really spooky stuff tho do u think it was just creepypasta or what :3
Please don't say I did it. I had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't contact the O classes, much less say such things to them, for they are most favorable to my survival. It was just some shitty prank. Some of the reactions are, strange, but that is no matter to me. TvT
watching u suck up 2 them is rly funny lol but kk babe i guess ill drop it :3 smh i thought this was something cool :3
I rather not relate "something cool" with angering the O classes but I understand. TvT
suckuuuuuuuup :3
I rather live a suck up than die for something I didn't do. TvT
how abt i give u smth else 2 suck on hot stuff :3
Look I don't even have a tweeper and I'm about to abandon this account and never touch it again. So my response to that is "um bye." TvT
i hate 2 see u leave but i love 2 watch u go :3
That's extremely holy and not ok. TvT
i hope ur not as disappointing in bed as ur friends failed arg was on tweeper :3
How could a notail raise so high to grace? TvT
u sure raise some things of mine baby :3
I would block you but I'm not going to be related to this account anymore, and if my friend logs back in I'm ok with him getting fucked over by your words. TvT
id prefer 4 u 2 to get fucked by me :3
Courtship between notails is not ok, but I suppose you know that. Just understand that "no." TvT
lol our society sux anyway i dont think its possible to pollute our gene pool more than its already fucked up babe :3
Ok well society gives me a roof over my head, food, and the time I got bit by a mallon I was experimenting on society fixed my arm before it rotted away. So we'll have to agree to disagree. TvT
lmao :3 the more u talk the more stupid and boring u seem :3
Says the notail who keeps going after clearly making me uncomfortable. But "sigh" I guess that's most people. TvT
ppl are funniest when theyre uncomfortable :3
Typical notail. You fit in just nicely. TvT
Original, 103, reply, & 105 |
@NotailsAndMore is it time for my 13 other facts?
Look it up yourself? Go read the Cosmosdex or something. I may be a K class but I'm not some fact machine. TvT
The what
Can you not look up basic and common terms? Geez look. http://cosmosdex.com/cosmosdex/ TvT
104, reply, & 107 |
X-7364 just walked in with coffee and called me a sleepy head. Said I passed out after intensely working on typing. Said I wouldn't respond to me when he had a question. He's lying, he knows he went overboard this time. TvT
You may want to improve your security. This could have ended very badly for you. :V
I will do what you recommended O-7 sir as you are most wise as all O classes are. I do have good security, I must have passed out so fast my computer didn't lock so my roommate and coworker decided to fuck with me. TvT
106, reply, 111, reply, & 117 |
I just checked the profile page to see if I could find some evidence of who did this. "i'm not sorry i told the truth when you didn't. no one deserves lies." The hell. If this is over lying about who ate the last pizza I'm going to be pissed. TvT
This went better for you than it could have mate, but I would recommend keeping closer guard over your belongings. Some of the other O-classes seem a bit agitated right now. uvu
Fully understood O-5, who kicks clockworks across the skies. I'll attempt to not pass out at my computer with my roommate around. TvT
The epithets aren't necessary mate. But maybe give your roommate a kick so they don't pull this again for good measure. uvu
I will make sure to give him a kick no matter how much he says he had nothing to do with this. Thank you for the advice O class. TvT
Original, & 110 |
@NotailsAndMore Once you figure out who did this, send me their ID number. Immediately. unu
I....think it's my roommate X-7364, but he's swearing the whole time this was going on I was working and refused to respond. I don't believe him but he sounds so serious about this. TvT
Reply to other party, & 116 |
Is there any way I can convince it to become a solid Yes? c:<
(Note: I won’t record this whole exchange because I don’t think it’s relevant... The context is O-8 is looking for who made this account. That’s all. OwO)
I know this is rude of me, and feel free to confirm this, but will you spare my roommate? He seems so honest in his pleads that he didn't do it.... He's the only one who could have done it, so it's him, but it seems like he regrets it deeply now. TvT
Original, 121, reply, 123, reply, & 127 |
I really am impressed by how many people they managed to unsettle in, what, an hour? uvu
Honestly as an X class he is naturally unsettling but I've never seen him act this badly. I wonder if I really ticked him off with the pizza thing. TvT
I've dealt with much worse than some X class...if it was just that then whatever...what does your friend know....OwO
I wish he would just admit it already. He said a few really odd things on this account and I have no idea where he's getting it from. Just. Fucking admit it X! Why is he being so rude to O classes you guys could KILL or BANISH us. TvT
It feels like something stranger is going on...OwO
It's just a stupid prank. A stupid prank that's now getting us basically evicted cause we can't stay here anymore. Stupid, stupid, prank. TvT
128, & 129 |
Ok this account is done. My roommate likely made this account as a laugh and somehow got the attention of the O classes. I'm sorry this happened even though I had nothing to do with it. I wish I could say my friend was sorry too but he's pissed off. TvT
Logging out, and never logging back in again. Yet again. Sorry for all the problems this account caused. Just unfollow this account. Bye. TvT
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[ THIS ACCOUNT IS DEAD | Shitty prank by shitty roommate/friend who refuses to admit it | Will never be logging in ever again ]
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