#and they're two different people and i love them for who they are and their differences enrich my understanding of them

[muzaktomyears]

Two of Us play notes/thoughts/Easter eggs I noticed

they played solo Beatles tracks as waiting music before the play began so I sat there listening to ‘Monkberry Moon Delight’ with a theatreful of people which was great 

before Paul turns up John is baking(/burning) bread

John is wearing underwear under his dressing gown which obvs had to be but also my suspension of disbelief was CHALLENGED

when Paul rings up to be let in John does a little rhyme to make him prove he is who he says he is. this is not the exact wording but it went something like: "Five little boys in Hamburg did play/All through the night and all through the day/Ingrid the stripper would do anything/But who got the clap? Was it sexy Stu Sutcliffe - or the lead singer in Wings?" and then Paul has to admit it was him who got the clap

when Paul takes his shoes off he also takes his socks off - idk if this is an intentional barefoot Paul thing but it is hilarious later when they're fighting and Paul is about to leave and angrily putting his socks back on

John and Paul have Get Back era hair/beards, which is weird - presumably because they assume people going to see this will also have seen Get Back but might not know their 1976 looks as well?? idk

some of the dialogue and references have been made a bit more British - the skit they do at the piano is now set in a British greasy spoon instead (still with the American accents)

instead of fighting "like the Hatfields and McCoys" they're now fighting like "the Montagues and the Capulets" (👀)

'Sh-Boom' is played on the record player while they smoke weed (Paul uses the album cover to roll the joint)

George and Ringo both get more of a mention! Paul says that George is happy now (John replies that he's not happy, he's reincarnated). John tells Paul a story Ringo told him about going on a bus in NYC and being recognised.

"I'm the best fuck you ever had" is said by John during the fight (Paul replies "If that's your way of saying you were the real brains behind the Beatles-" etc. etc.)

"You should have married me when you had the chance" is said by John during the Yoko/losing my friend bit

"It's only me" as John's way to get Paul not to leave after the fight

when John goes out to get disguises for them Paul sits at the piano and starts playing some notes he finds there (he'd asked about them earlier and John had said they're nothing). we get a few notes of 'Now and Then' before John returns (ghjshgkhgkdshgksd who did this I HATE YOU)

the appearance of the I Love Paul badge!! John wears it on his disguise jacket and Paul asks what it says. John tells him and then Paul replies "Lucky Paul".......

they never go outside in this version - John says he'll go but then thinks better of it. this means that John comes across as even more locked away than he does in the film.

the police bit is sort of done when Paul puts on a leather hat from the disguises and pretends to be a policeman come to question John, who John then talks back at. he also yells out of the window at some police below at one point.

Paul realises they're never actually going to Luigi's, so John lays the table for him as if they're at a restaurant together (including calling him "Lady McCartney" and "my love")

the bit with the fan is sort of recreated but instead it's John asking Paul whether he truly thinks Wings at the Speed of Sound is the number 1 record in America (which obvs changes it quite a lot)

Julian is brought up - they're toasting to various people/things (ending with "Dr. Winston O'Boogie and Paul Ramon") and Paul says "to Julian" and sort of confronts John about him and how he treated him

during the toasting Paul also mentions "putting hair on a seagull's chest" which John questions and then Paul says it's something his dad used to say

I thought the lift scene/roof scene wouldn't be happening... BUT THEN a lift descended from the ceiling ❤️ the magic of theatre

the kiss still happens and idk but I thought the vibe was a bit different from the film version - less jokey (and no lines after about brushing his teeth/is my name Brian)

Paul: I bought into it that you and me didn't get along well (paraphrasing the Stephen Colbert interview)

they hug at the end of the roof conversation (I was sat very close to this since the actors come in front of the stage to do it and they were both crying and it WAS ALL TOO MUCH 😭😭)

John gets them two guitars to practice with before they go out and they sit opposite each other in chairs and Paul says “I know which one to begin with” and John says “What?” and they lean forward and then the phone rings

when Paul leaves John he’s crying and it’s like okay rip out my heart I guess

the play ends with Paul on the phone to Linda and John on the phone to Yoko, at opposite sides of the stage, and they say “I love you” to their wives but also to each other and it’s ridiculous????

yeah then ‘Give Peace a Chance’ plays which is such a bizarre choice idek

anyway who knows if it's a good play or what the actual people there thought about it because obvs I can have no rational reaction to it but I'm so glad I went to see it because someone on the writing team is one of us I SEE YOU

[cy-lindric]

bonjour cy-lindric, j'ai une petite question. when I was a young person, I read The Three Musketeers and then eagerly started to read Twenty Years After and was so upset at what had happened to my beloved young heroes that I put the book down and never picked it up. what do you think, should I try again?

Bonjour !

After reading The Three Musketeers, I also wasn't sure I wanted to read Twenty Years After, and I took a break inbetween both to read something entirely different (The Locked Tomb, iirc). I think my reason for that was kind of the opposite of yours ; I enjoyed T3M a lot and loved the characters, flaws and all, but by the end they had somewhat crossed over the line into being Too Awful and the lack of retribution left me a bit frustrated. I didn't see it as a failing of the story - on the contrary, their strong character flaws and downfall in the conflict with Milady is one of the most emotionally intense and compelling parts imo - but I wasn't sure I felt like hanging out with these guys for a few hundred more pages at that point.

If your vision of the characters as a young reader was a very positive and perhaps idealized one, I can imagine why you might not have enjoyed entering into Twenty Years after. The illusion of glory has worn off ; the characters have separated, they live unremarkable lives, and their personalities have evolved drastically with the passing of time. It's almost a brutal return to reality.

For me though, it added layers of characterization to the point where now it's clear to me that this version of the Inseparables is by far the one I prefer.

I hope it's ok if I take the opportunity to talk at length about what I like about TYA below the cut. TL;DR : I love that Twenty Years After is a more realistic look at the big four's personalities and how they evolved while still keeping them thematically coherent, and that TYA makes them confront the reckless and cruel shit they did in their youth.

Spoilers ahead obviously.

We've often talked about how T3M is at its core a story about the end of knighthood. It's a tongue-in-cheek approach at chivalrous initiation, set at edge of the modern world, inbetween the time of ballads about knights in armor and that of adventures about journeying gunmen and soldiers. I think TYA embodies that particularly ; the story of people who have carried the last of these intense, dangerous chivalric ideals in their youths, and who have now grown into middle aged adults who need to find their place in the world.

For a good chunk of the book, the big four are separated into two teams ; that in of itself might discourage some, but imo it's genius. Instead of the natural two-by-pairings, Dumas goes for a d'Artagnan+ Porthos and Athos + Aramis split on opposite sides, which makes for good drama and develops lesser explored dynamics. D'Artagnan and Porthos form a scrappy team of opportunists with money on their minds, and Athos and Aramis a more idealistic duo fighting for a noble lost cause. I think it's a bold choice but also premium sequel writing.

I also love the way the young and wild characters we knew evolve into middle aged men ; at their core, they're still the same, but they've all changed and struggled against the sunset of the golden age in their own ways.

D'Artagnan, after knowing such adventures and subsequent rapid social ascension in his teenage years, has been met in his adult life with the harsh reality that he is, in fact, not a noble knight but a soldier on payroll. His modest origins give him little hope for any further career advancement, and he takes on a new mission in his early 40s for a man he has no devotion for and a cause he doesn't care about, simply because he is bored and broke. D'Artagnan still has his quick wits, his strategic talent, his fencing skills, but he has grown out of the excesses of pride of his teenage years. I loved meeting him again in TYA, and it made so much sense to me that his bouts of anger and aggressivity would be a youthful trait that he'd ended up taming. He also realizes now a lot of what seemed like funny adventures and necessary violence was actually kind of fucked up ; that was a shock to me, as their shenanigans are treated so lightly in T3M, and tbh it healed me a little. Grown up d'Artagnan is cunning, calculating, down to earth and realistic. My foxy little man. I love him.

Porthos, likewise, has been struck by the weight of reality. He has made the sensible choice and got married to the rich widow who sugar mommied him in the first book. Now she's passed, he is rich, but he still fails to earn the respect of the high society he evolves in because he's not high born enough. Like d'Artagnan, he's stagnating and bored and now that he goes back adventuring it has nothing to do with the queen or the kingdom or honour ; it's about getting his damn nobility title.

Athos, on the other hand, is the eternal knight : the only truly high born of the four, and still hopelessly holding on to a time gone by. It's no surprise imo that his storyline brings him into the english civil war, doomed to fail at saving a king who'll end up executed right in front of him. TYA acknowledges more clearly than ever that at 28 yo, Athos was a depressed alcoholic, and an embodiment of what an excess of aristocratic righteousness can do. In TYA, he is sober and moisturized and a DILF, and now he's running around frantically looking for absolution for his numerous crimes. It's delicious.

Aramis is maybe the hardest pill to swallow. TYA confirms the T3M hints that he isn't really the prim and proper romantic boy he acts like he is, and that he's possibly the most hypocritical and ruthless of the four. It might be a harsh one for Aramis fans who like him better as a cute bean, but I love the early onset of remorseless conniving bloodthirsty ambitious Aramis. Another harsh bit might be the evolution of Aramis and d'Artagnan not really liking each other ; they were always the least close combination, and imo it makes sense that their personalities would clash. I think it's clever and compelling conflict.

Now, obviously, if you've cared enough to read all this and if you know me a little, you know that a huge highlight of the book for me was its late-appearing antagonist, Mordaunt. Mordaunt is the son Milady had with her english husband. Because of the Musketeers' intervention, he's grown up in poverty and has been denied his father's inheritance. He's now a Roundhead working for Cromwell, and set on avenging his mother at all costs. Mordaunt, unlike his mother who was this beautiful and dangerous force of nature, is very uncool and pathetic. She was the primordial snake, he's the gutter rat. Obviously, I love that in and of itself, but it's also kind of striking image of the wretchedness of what they've done to her, a fucked up little goblin ghost come back to haunt them as they're trying to make their life worth living again. This time, their enemy is not a cunning political rival with a flamboyance of body and mind akin to their own ; it's a shitty little guy with bad skin who wants to kill the king and punish the murderers. Watch out babes, it's the modern world coming for you.

Of course, they're the Four Musketeers, and they did what they had to do, so they get together again and swear friendship and keep going their way. But they're also old guys with difficult personalities in a world that's never going to be the same. I think it's a cool book.

[culturalsillystine]

This ended up longer than I intended.

Here's a long rant about Zero Day, denial, and finding comfort in your sickness.

.

One of the things that's stuck with us since our first time watching Zero Day is when Cal says something about not being able to cure someone who has nothing wrong with them.

Some people get so deep into their illness that they start to tell themselves, "There is nothing wrong with me." It's self-soothing, in a way. You have nothing to fix if there's nothing wrong, right? And you get sucked further and further into it until it's all you know, so it becomes normal. There's truly nothing wrong with you, because it's your norm, and how could that be wrong?

And then you get worse and worse until something happens. It could be something bad, such as Cal and Andre's case. Something people would usually never consider. But when you're sick, you're sick, and things don't make sense, and it doesn't matter what people would or wouldn't consider. Because you would, and you're normal. There's nothing wrong with you.

That, or you get help. And Andre briefly mentions something, I think it may be before what Cal says? I'm not sure, correct me if I'm wrong. But he mentions something, says that even if they did get caught and got put in counseling or something, they'd get out, and they'd still do it.

And that leads you to wonder, is that true? Is that truly what would happen? Or are they feeling so untouchable and so powerful that they think NOTHING can stop them. Not even professional help.

And we'll never know. That's what I enjoy about Zero Day, there's so much we never know. We just have to trust these two boys who will present you with their truth, not the truth.

We see very little of Cal's family, and what we do see isn't bad. What we see of Andre's is.. conflicting. His family means well, but he's an 18 year old boy who likes guns and doesn't seem to get enough appreciation from his father. It writes itself, really.

We see none of Andre interacting with his peers, we only see Cal during the prom scenes. And the prom scenes are loud and irritating and awkward. He doesn't really try to be social, he takes the next possible chance to go to the only person he really bothers socializing with; Andre.

They're both very sick. Whether it's the same thing, something similar, or something entirely different, who's to say, but they find comfort in each other. They're both rotting away, and it's okay, because it's together. Whether or not it's based in love (platonic or romantic) or a hatred for the world so deep that your vision is blurred by your tears of rage, who knows. You never get to know.

Because the last thing those boys would want is to be vulnerable. Because that means something is wrong. But nothing can be wrong, because you're normal. There's nothing wrong with you.

I hope this makes sense and isn't incoherent.

[hwnglx]

hm i tried my best to explain, he has a lot of different facets to him, so reading for him can get a little overwhelming.. hope it's still a nice read 🤍

jake's ideal type

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled songs: bored by billie eilish young and beautiful by lana del rey “will you still love me, when i got nothing but my aching soul?”

physical traits

natural and classic beauty. harmonious features. deep and intense eyes. color more on the darker side. (like dark eyes you can lose yourself in) fierce gaze. something strong about their features that makes them stand out, it just catches your eye. face that lights up once they smile. (looks colder in a resting position but transform once they break into a smile) keep hearing “부담스러워” meaning burdenful. in this context, used more in an “intimidating” manner. in korean this can be used for people who have intensity to their look, people you can't hold eye contact with for long. he doesn't have an extremely specific type, just needs to feel intrigued.

personality traits

so, jake likes his partners to have a powerful effect on him. what seems to intrigue him in a person, is “reverse charm” where they might look sweet and innocent, but are much more fierce and savage inside. or look intense and cold, but end up being very soft and sweet inside. someone with a captivating aura, who carries themselves with a sense of mystery. a person he looks at and makes him wonder, awakens his interest like.. “oh this person must have such a different side to them deep down.”

jake also likes it when his lovers can boldly challenge him and his beliefs. he wants someone witty who isn't afraid to talk back at him, change his perspectives. someone whose words and actions linger in his mind, make him re-think his own and in hindsight change and transform him for the better. he wants his relationships to turn him into the better version of himself and to provoke him to discover his best self.

another quality he seems to cherish in his romantic partners, is when they're patient, gentle and persevering. he wants someone with emotional intelligence and empathy for people, who looks after the ones they treasure with great care. he needs someone loyal who won't be discouraged quickly, and remains committed to him through every trial. he seems to be quite self aware, so he knows that he isn't exactly the easiest lover to deal with.. whether that's because of his busy schedule, or his more complicated nature. he wants a person with motives and interests selfless enough to be accepting towards his faults, forgiving towards his mistakes. he wants a resilient person who can encourage him to work on himself. honestly, he seems to like his s/o to have motherly energy. he wants someone who will nurture him, coddle him on some levels, but also give him the tough love he needs to grow.

jake wants a person who puts importance into keeping the relationship harmonious. he'd appreciate a person who can balance him out, in a way where they can complete him in the areas he lacks. for instance, someone much more stable and grounded than him. someone who can be more logical or objective and less impulsive when the situation asks for it. i keep hearing “정신 차려”, which means “come to your senses” or “pull yourself together”.

(note; this insight was interesting because i think he's this case of opposites attracting and benefitting from each other. he could grow a lot from being with someone like jay, who has a stellium in taurus, which is opposite jake's scorpio stellium. idk if they're close but despite unavoidable clashes due to being so so different, they have potential to balance each other out pretty well)

jake puts a lot of value into understanding each other on a level deeper than everyone else. he wants there to be effortless communication between the two, almost telepathic, where they know what the other means even without necessarily being vocal about it. the person who seems to know you so well; they complete your sentences, or know what you're thinking or feeling just by one glance at your expression.

he also seems to like his lovers having this duality in personality, where they can be both; cute, playful and kittenish (someone who flirts in this giggly and coy way), but capable of having meaningful and long conversations about deep and serious matters in life. he does seem to love duality a lot, whether that's appearance-wise or character-wise.

him as a boyfriend

+ jake is a boyfriend who loooves making you feel like it's only you and him in this world. he really values alone-time and deep intimacy, whether that's physical intimacy in the form of quality time, or emotional intimacy in the form of deep conversations. he enjoys zoning in on his partners and focusing the entirety of his attention on them.

sweet aspect; he himself can be very moody, but if you need him to be your source of comfort and shoulder to cry on, he can become that for you. he'll put effort into making sure he wins over your trust and you feel comfortable around him. he wants you to feel safe enough to not be afraid of showcasing your emotions, whether that's sadness, frustration, anger.. he likes to see it all. he does enjoy seeing his lover riled up about him lmao, since to him it shows they're passionate about the relationship. but there is this comforting and warm energy to him, where he's good at making you feel seen, and listened to.

he is the type of boyfriend who will want to stick by your side through all storms. he really values what his lovers have to say. let's say you got into an argument with him; once you've both calmed down, he might sit you down, softly take your hand and deeply gaze into your eyes while quietly listening to your side of the story. he'll want to understand your perspective and your heart.

he can be responsible as a lover. it almost feels like a task to him to fulfill his role as a boyfriend, to make you feel like you can rely on him. he wants to lead the relationship, and make you feel secure. it's very much an equal give and take, since he does seem to enjoy leaning on his partner for security at times as well. evidently, he seems to actually like a balanced relationship with no crazy power dynamics.

- hm, some heavy energy here i don't feel comfortable diving into deeply. but i can sense him realizing he has a habit of so strongly clinging to his lovers, due to abandonment issues. which can be quite common for scorpio placements.. he's scared of being left behind and replaced with someone “better”, due to him potentially not being good enough to stay with. there's some lingering fatigue and emotional baggage from the past he seems to struggle letting go of.

jake can put so much pressure on himself to satisfy his partner. he wants them to feel fulfilled and confident in the relationship and makes it his responsibility. it can weigh on him if he feels like his partner is starting to lose the spark, fall out of love with him, and especially lose their trust in him. he wants his lover to recognize how much he cares about the connection, but is self-aware enough to understand it's his own bad habits and impulsiveness that can stand in the way.

i can see him having bad habits like, having wandering eyes or being too charming and.. complementary towards women, where it can border on flirting. blurring the lines (like in his eyes it wasn't flirting but his partner sees it differently). though i can't see him straight up cheating, “superficial” things like that can still understandably rub partners the wrong way. it can easily cause discomfort, conflicts, miscommunication. this can lead to trust issues on both sides. he can just be a boyfriend who requires a lot of patience.

[iid-smile]

#08 ୨ৎ ⸝⸝ @meidiary ⋆

i think im in luv with u... 😪 mei is a 10/10 guys!! certified cutie ☺️ idk who i was expecting you to pick, but inumaki 😆😆 one of my favs fr! and i was so excited to do 23 for some reason... you're the first one to request it 👏 all of them are headcanons 🙂‍↕️ (tumblr keeps not saving what i put down its stressing me out!!!)

#18 🍓 | protecting you

im sorry, but inumaki can be such a scaredy cat sometimes...

he'd be afraid, but still step up and get in between you and whatever is the threat

doesn't consider his own safety and wellbeing in the process either... he always puts others first, and a little bit of throat pain is much better than you getting hurt

100% mans up against insects because you hate them

gets intimated when he's up against a muscular 6ft guy, but has a eureka moment and uses his cursed speech. easy win

theres also other things he'd protect you from too, like pulling you away from hot oil and flames if you're cooking together. he's got spidey senses (according to him)

the cold is also something he'd protect you from. always makes sure you have a warm coat, scarf, gloves, and everything. i think inumaki really likes earmuffs too, because then he can whisper about how much he loves you and you wouldn't hear a thing

#20 🍦 | love language

physical touch + quality time

a mixture of both

the two of you could lay around for hours, and he'd just listen to you talk as you both cuddle. when you're both into a particular show or series, snuggling in bed when you're both supposed to be sleeping hits different

if you're on public transport or aimlessly walking around, he'll hold your hand, but it's more like he's holding it from behind rather than actual handholding.

silence with him is always comfortable, and you completely tune out from the rest of the world whenever you're with him

gift giving

he gifts you snacks a lot. even better if he specifically gets ones with pink packaging

not the best with fashion but he tries for you. he would buy you a turtleneck just like his but a different colour and patterned

not the best with fashion, but he tries. at first, he'd literally buy you any clothes that are pink, and gets so confused when it's not your style. he gets it eventually, don't worry

matching shoes are a must! not the exact same shoe as you, but the same colour

pranks

not really a love language but aha

he loves it too much when he scares you with bugs, especially ones that fly. craneflies are the worst, because they're relatively easy to pick up and hold compared to flies or other flying creatures

he'll grab it by the leg and chase you around with it. sometimes he'll cup his hands together and pretend he has one because he finds it funny

he doesn't do anything with spiders because you're both scared of them

he actually would love it when you prank him back. scaring him from behind by shaking his shoulders is the best way to get him

#23 🍦 | your romance trope / dynamic

friends to lovers / mutual friends

he wouldn't date anybody he doesn't know well

since you're friends with a lot of people, there's no way he hasn't heard about you, and you happened to meet by chance

maybe coincidentally crossing paths and your extroverted self just had to say hello.

as soon as you both realise you have a mutual friend, the friendship blossoms and grows quick

the way he cares for you is so clear to everyone else except for you, but when somebody points it out, you can tell

sunshine x enthusiastic but silent enabler

inumaki is already a silly guy, and he just gets sillier

the conversations you have are always energetic, engaging and exciting, even with the language barrier, so he's pulling out ingredients that nobody's ever heard him say before. essentially, you're the only two that actually can understand

his energy immediately springs up whenever he gets to hang out with you. he can go from 0 to 100 in a split second, and that needs to be studied

he really doesn't mind how much you talk, since he likes to listen

#24 🍦 | when they're jealous

it's hard to see his face when his mouth and eyebrows are both covered, so you're only depending on the eyes. or if he tells you himself

if he wants to get out of a situation to feel more at ease, he'll tug on your sleeve or fingers

"🤬"

that's literally all he sends you over text or shows you on notes, and when you look over at him, it's really obvious that he's upset. (to you, at least)

will have a whole debate with you on why, how and what he's jealous about. small or big, it doesn't matter

when he gets the most jealous is if you're paying too much attention to something else in general

like, if you're sitting a bit too far to each other and you're on your phone, he'd pull you closer so you'd be right by his side, silently asking for you to talk to him a bit

event masterlist

[zeroeightzeroone]

I’m absolutely in love with your writing you write so beautifully omggg<33

I wanted to request something fluffy for Han, where as we know he’s introverted and doesn’t get close to new people, but when it comes to you he’s so comfortable and talkative and affectionate and the members tease him about it and they found out he has a crush on you.

crush - han jisung

genre: fluff

pairings: nonidol!han jisung x genderneutral!reader

notes: i'm so sorry your request took so long 😭😭 you sent it in the first half of the year, and it's the second half, and i just finished it

wc 2.8k| moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"what are we looking at?" changbin asks loudly when walking into the kitchen where hyunjin and seungmin have been pretending to refill their drinks.

hyunjin shushes changbin quickly and gestures for him to stand beside seungmin, "don't blow our cover." hyunjin whispers through gritted teeth.

"okay?" changbin whispers, "now tell me what we're looking at."

"over there," seungmin cocks his head in the direction of the living area. changbin tries to be subtle as he scans the living room area.

the two couches pressed against the wall are occupied by the handful of friends invited for a belated celebration of changbin's birthday. the larger couch facing the window is occupied by chan, his girlfriend, minho and jeongin who are discussing who knows what as they periodically sip on their drinks or lean over, reaching to grab a handful of popcorn or chips from the bowls on the coffee table. the couch facing the television set is occupied by felix on one end, jisung on the other and a childhood friend of felix's in the middle, y/n.

"what am i looking at?" changbin blinks.

"jisung," hyunjin mouths.

the older boy nods in understanding and diverts his eyes back to jisung sitting on the couch, trying to pinpoint what seungmin and hyunjin are so enticed with that they've been watching from afar. much like the friends on the neighbouring couch, changbin has no clue what discussion is going on between you, jisung and felix. however, judging by the looks on your faces, it's a lighthearted conversation.

"what–oh?"

with belated realization, changbin narrows his eyes in focus on the scene in front of him.

the couch they're occupying has more than enough space to accommodate the three of them, allowing for an equal amount of space for each. with that being said, you and jisung are practically sharing one-third of the couch. you're turned towards felix as you talk, but you're almost leaning back on jisung seated behind you.

when hyunjin first noticed the close proximity between you two, he surveyed jisung's reaction, looking for a hint of awkwardness, discomfort or a split second of him trying to scoot away to make more space between you two as you haven't known each other for long. its been around four months, give or take.

still, hyunjin didn't identify any of those signs in his friend.

neither did seungmin or changbin.

neither did felix who sat on the opposite end of the couch from jisung, a glint of amusement in his eyes at the sight of the scene in front of him.

for as long as they'd been friends with the shaggy-haired blonde, they knew and were very familiar with how reserved and closed off the man could be around new people due to his shy and introverted personality. as a result of his nature, it would take an ample amount of time to build a close relationship with him and for him to feel comfortable enough around someone new, let alone engage in physical contact or interactions with them.

it's very different from what they're seeing right now in front of them, namely, jisung's demeanour toward someone he met for the first time four months ago.

he practically has his arm around your shoulders, propped up on the couch cushions behind you; one move and his arm would be resting on your shoulders and wrapped around you. due to your proximity to the man, if his arm was down at his side, your arm would brush up against him the way your thigh does against his once in a while.

it's a sight for them to behold as they have never seen jisung be this close with someone new so soon.

"interesting," changbin muses, turning back to the counter to pour himself the drink he initially came into the kitchen to get.

"i've never seen him like this," hyunjin mutters, receiving hushed words of agreement from the other two.

"neither have i."

seungmin looks between hyunjin and changbin who glances back over to you and jisung on the couch. the older boy's face contorted in surprise at the sight of you gently hitting your hand against Jisung's thigh during the conversation.

seungmin is the first to snap everyone back into reality, "ok, but we can't stay here and spy on them all night; let's get back out there." the two older ones in the kitchen sigh in a sulking manner, turning to walk out of the kitchen, but they stop in their tracks when seungmin reminds them quietly; "don't make it obvious out there either."

…

it took a little over a week for everyone else to notice the way jisung acted around you.

minho had come back to the flat he lives in with jisung to find you two on the couch sharing a blanket, the lights turned down, cans of soda on the coffee table, a bowl of popcorn on the boy's lap and the television nearing the end of 'spirited away.' his arrival home caught both yours and jisung's attention, the movie then being paused long enough to exchange greetings and small talk between you three.

minho listened to you recount a conversation with jisung a month ago, where you expressed your desire to have a studio ghibli marathon. even though you had watched most, if not all, of the movies once before, you still thought it would be a good time. that's how you ended up at jisung's while minho was at work and running errands, sitting on the couch and going through the studio ghibli movies in order of release.

jisung, chan and changbin were occasional gym buddies, the three of them hitting the gym together when their schedules worked out that way. chan was in the car with changbin when he dialled up the younger one's number–changbin was supposed to work that day but graciously switched shifts with a coworker who had a last-minute schedule change. in contrast, chan's day ended earlier due to staff efficiency transitioning from overnight to day shifts; meanwhile, as far as they were concerned, jisung had told them a couple days ago he had a day off today. it took two calls before the younger one picked up, but he couldn't join them at the gym since he had joined your trek to the hiking trail an hour or so outside the city that had been gaining traction on social media lately.

when jisung arrived home later in the evening, changbin and chan were sitting in the living room with minho, letting the television play a random show in the background. at the same time, they talked about stupid coworkers and other mind-numbingly stupid experiences they've experienced in their jobs. it was then they learned that he wasn't initially supposed to come with you, but you had mentioned the friend who was planning to come hiking with you backed out last minute in passing while you were on the phone with jisung the night before–despite your friend backing out you still wanted to go.

you reasoned with jisung, who expressed his worry for your safety that night, saying that there would definitely be more people on the trail since it had been growing popular and that he shouldn't worry because you technically wouldn't be alone on the trail. regardless of your reasons, it made jisung's stomach turn terribly at the thought of you hiking alone surrounded by strangers, so it was arranged the night before that he would be joining you.

there was another day when you were supposed to have a picnic with felix, seungmin and jeongin only for the four of you to get caught up in a rain storm without an umbrella. thankfully, you all decided to hang out in a park near their flat so you didn't get caught up in the rain for too long, but just long enough that your clothes were uncomfortably stuck to your skin. when you arrived at their flat, jeongin offered you a dry set of clothes as he didn't want you to be sitting around in your rain soaked clothes while the rest of them could change into a dry set. you agreed, and he offered you his room to change, letting you know that you could leave your wet clothes on the floor so he could toss them into the washer and dryer with the rest, ensuring that they'd be ready by the time you needed to leave.

it was when jeongin was sorting through the clothes and turning them inside out before throwing them into the washer that he noticed jisung's name sharpied into the care instruction tag on the hoodie you were wearing that day for the picnic. the sight took jeongin back to a conversation he had with jisung in the past, the two of them talking about how their clothes would end up in their siblings' closets growing up. he remembers that jisung explained how his mother had gotten so fed up hearing him and his older brother argue about whether or not whatever garment they were looking for ended up in the other's closet, so she proposed the solution of them writing their names on the care tag so they wouldn't get mixed up.

with all their individual observations put together, they had come to a collective conclusion: jisung has a crush on you.

it also didn't take long for the childish teasing to start, poking fun at their friend's obvious crush on you, whether it be while you were around or when you weren't.

…

"hey loverboy," hyunjin greets with a huge smile the moment he steps into minho and jisung's unit, changbin following behind him and joining in on teasing their friend.

"y/n and jisung sitting in a tree," he sings in a high-pitched voice, "k, i, s, s, i, n– agh!"

changbin's song is cut off when he ducks, trying to avoid getting hit by the throw pillow jisung chucked in his direction.

"hey! no violence!"

"no kid's songs," jisung counters with his arms crossed over his chest, slowly walking over to changbin, who bent down to pick the pillow off the floor, "deal?"

changbin narrows his eyes suspiciously, thinking about whether or not he should hand the pillow–a potential weapon–back to jisung. a moment later, he smacks it into jisung's hands, responding with a "deal."

changbin follows behind jisung, who moves back to the living area to put the pillow back in its spot before he sits on the couch. changbin sitting across from the blonde.

"what time are the others coming?" hyunjin calls from the kitchen, where he opens a family-size bag of chips to pour into a large bowl.

minho, who had just used the bathroom, walks through the hallway, checking his wristwatch, "uh… soon? we said 7pm, right?"

the three boys respond in unison, confirmations overlapping and minho nods.

"well, if they don't get here on time, i'll start the movie without them," minho warns and walks into the kitchen to grab himself a can of coke.

changbin relays minho's threat to the group chat and immediately receives replies letting the chat know they'll be there soon and to keep the remote away from minho. they all know the man isn't being playful and joking around when he says he'll start the movie without them–he really will.

"it's been a while, hasn't it?" hyunjin thinks out loud, a bowl of chips in one hand and a can of coke in his other. he carefully sets the two down on the coffee table, receiving a glare from minho when he doesn't use a coaster; throwing his hands up, he quickly apologizes and just as quickly grabs a coaster to place his coke on.

"been a while since what?" minho inquires, mood lighter now that hyunjin's using a coaster.

"since we had a guys' night," the long-haired, tall boy clarifies, and he sits beside minho, "we've all been so busy lately."

"changbin's birthday could be considered a guys night?" jisung suggests.

hyunjin shakes his head, "nah. not when my twin sister, her lover, chan's lover and your lover were there."

jisung scoffs, "they're not my lover."

"but you wish they were," minho wiggles his eyebrows with a cheeky smirk on his lips.

jisung opens his mouth to refute their claims, but his mouth closes, making him look like a fish. he can't deny their claims when they aren't wrong. instead, he rolls his eyes, arms crossed over his chest again and slumps into the couch with a pout and flushed cheeks.

"ha, we got him there," changbin chuckles loudly.

"got him where?"

the front door opens to reveal chan, felix, seungmin and jeongin walking into the unit with more family-sized bags of chips and bottles of alcohol.

"talking about his crush," minho informs before jisung can open his mouth and tell him to shut up, "hyunjin was talking about how we haven't had guys' night in a while, and jisung said that changbin's birthday could have been considered a guys night, but hyunjin argued that since jihyun and her lover were present, chan's lover and jisung's lover were present, it would not be."

"then he was like, 'they aren't my lover,' and minho was like, 'you wish they were,'" hyunjin's pitch and tone changed as he imitated jisung and minho, "and jisung just shut up and now he's sulking." hyunjin finishes off minho's retelling of the few minutes before the rest of the boys arrived.

jisung scoffs again, "i am not sulking."

"you didn't deny they were your lover when minho and hyunjin were retelling the story," changbin points out, and the room is filled with the boys hollering. they all sport knowing, mischievous smiles in jisung's direction, and the boy gets progressively more flustered by the second.

"i-" jisung again opens and closes his mouth like a fish, not knowing how to fire back at his friends.

"don't worry, ji," felix says, "it's cute seeing you like this; we've never seen someone have this kind of effect on you like y/n does." felix sits on the arm of the chair jisung is sitting on, slowly as he's cautious that the boy may shove him off.

"what effect?" jisung continues his attempt to deny it and acts like he doesn't know what they're talking about.

"c'mon," seungmin begins, "when you're around them, you're so comfortable and talkative."

"so?"

"so? you've known them for like five months, and you're this comfortable with them," seungmin explains.

"you've known jihyun the same amount of time you've known me–which is like what? three, almost four years–and the most you talk to her is on mine, hers or your birthday," hyunjin pipes in, bringing along evidence to support seungmin's observations.

"well, i mean... jihyun is different," jisung himself sounds unsure, "she's your twin sister."

"when we first met, it took you like a year and a half to be that comfortable and affectionate with me," seungmin reminds.

"i've never seen you this affectionate with someone before," jeongin adds.

"i'm affectionate to you guys," jisung argues.

the boys chuckle, "we mean this fast, so soon with someone new."

jisung groans, running his hands through his hair and hiding his face behind them, attempting to hide just how flushed his face is.

his voice is muffled when he responds, "you make me sound like a loser."

felix pokes the boy's head, "you're not a loser. far from it."

"yeah, yeah, you're just saying that," jisung denies, hands still covering his face.

"i'm saying it cos it's true, you're not a loser," felix asserts.

"you're shyer and more introverted than others but that doesn't make you a loser," seungmin pipes up. when jisung still doesn't move his hands from his face, an idea pops into his head, and he continues, "y/n doesn't think you're a loser."

everyone can see how jisung's ears perk at the mention of your name.

"i mean, they do like you just as much as you like them," felix adds nonchalantly, as if that statement didn't just make the boy sitting next to him's heart lurch.

jisung moved his hands from his face, arms crossed over his chest again with a pout on his lips. he tried to seem upset, but they all saw right through him–mainly because his cheeks and ears sport the same rosy red.

"really?" jisung wonders. they all nod their heads, and jisung cocks an eyebrow at them, "you better not be fucking around with me." he warns with narrowed eyes.

"we're not, we swear," chan puts his hands up in surrender, trying to show jisung he's not lying.

jisung is still a bit skeptical, but now that this information is out there, and it's been disclosed by felix who was the one to introduce you to everyone, felix who is a close friend of yours, he can't bite back his curiosity. he surveys everyone in the room again, looking for cracks in their demeanour that could give him a reason to think they're playing a prank on him or trying to get a rise out of him but he finds nothing.

at that, jisung relaxes into the chair, arms still crossed over his chest, and he nudges felix with his elbow.

"so…" he clears his throat, "what exactly did they say about me?"

main masterlist

[spywhitney]

How I sleep knowing I'll never trust anyone that hates Sydney but worships Richie:

[ssaraexposs]

Oda Sakunosuke & Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

BSD // BEAST

[thisisntreaver]

Thinking about Reaver, her, and how she effects his relationships.

Like Reaver can and does bed anyone willing, he barely remembers them, he has no qualms about hurting people and fidelity isn't part of his skill set.

But I feel like he would likely have some sort of faithfulness to her. She clearly haunts him, he hasn't forgiven himself for what her death, he misses her but refuses to admit it because that part of him is meant to be dead.

Which leads me too my point, I think very rarely, he finds partners that remind him of her. Be it in looks or mannerisms, he finds them and he clings. He'll never be as loyal to them as with her because for as much as they're like her they're so different. Too different for him to be entirely loyal too, too alike for him to discard as easily as he'd like.

He may not even realize it, a subconscious part of him that looks for her, is desperate to find her desite her being long dead and grabs onto it as firecly as it can. He can never actually have her again but he'll take the scraps, he'll pretend shes who he's laying with, who he holds. But its not, it won't be and its his own fault.

[cloud-somersault]

idk man, the epilogue is like this really deep...exploration of interpersonal connections and wants and desires interlaced with the complexity of circumstance and consequence and regret and guilt. and I started it as a like "haha, this is what I want! I want two monkeys being gay, haha!"

but it's so. fucking tragic, actually.

just in chapter 1, we see how defeated Macaque is, how lost he is. how he hesitates and flip flops constantly. how he says or thinks something with certainty, but then goes back on that. he tries so hard to commit to one path, but he truly is fluctuating and has no clue what to do

and wukong is just...certain of himself. he's certain of his wants and desires now after Constellations. He wants to maintain connections and put in the effort no matter what. and that..juxtaposition of them...is just so raw and hurtful in chapter 1 because we see that wukong notices that in Macaque because he knows him better than anyone.

And Macaque admits he's a little lost. he doesn't know what he wants. but he keeps walking. he wants to make his own choices. he wants to think for himself. he wants to see the truth for himself.

and as the days go by, as the weeks and months pass...as they grow and change, it's just sad. because it's not

the epilogue is not this "will they? won't they?" shadowpeach thing.

look at them as individuals. that's why i finally decided to change the perspective. because we needed to see macaque's thoughts. I've shown you wukong's; please give macaque that same level of attention.

when people write romance or relationships, they often misstep when it comes to the characters that are in the relationship. in order for that relationship to be believable and relatable and enjoyed by the audience, you have to develop the characters independently and together.

we cannot have shadowpeach until we know, with certainty, who macaque and wukong are.

[superhell]

ok so it’s fully established that house has an incredibly hard time verbalizing his emotions (specifically the positive ones) due to a fear of rejection and a deep deep aversion to displaying vulnerability

which makes the incredibly few times he’s admitted to someone that he cares about them, well, incredible. to list every single time that i can remember off the top of my head here: 

instance one: he tells stacy he loves her directly before he goes into a coma.  the statement itself is undeniably romantic in nature. 

instance two: he tells cuddy he loves her after they hook up and she gives him a whole long speech on how she doesn’t want him to change. this is the culmination of years of dancing around each other. the statement is undeniably romantic in nature. 

instance three: he tells wilson their friendship means more to house than any patient

instance four: he tells wilson he likes him

instance five: i mean i can keep going. there’s wilsons transplant surgery there’s everything with amber theres just so much. anyway

all of which leads me to the conclusion that of the three people house has ever sincerely expressed affection for two of those are people he’s canonically in love with which means that the third one must also be someone he’s [gunshots]

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about superheroes unfortunately

[maddy-ferguson]

there's very few things i find as abhorrent as white men accusing men of color and immigrants of being the ones who rape/sexually assault women and commit femicide it's so insidious and it's a despicable way to shield themselves from feminist critique

[danmeichael]

i need to work on my chengxian fics....

[druidonity2]

2021 just some guys celebrating pride

[sysig]

Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)