#and they're said endearingly

[mischievous-thunder]

Laura, to Wade: Strive to be the person your kitty thinks you are.

Wade, glancing at Logan: I'm not a "loud as fuck clingy buffoon without any filter". His words, not mine.

Also Laura, to Logan: Strive to be the kitty your boyfriend thinks you are.

Logan: I'm not a "squishy-wishy cuddly-wuddly honey pie". His words, not mine.

[astradyke]

i won't make a poll about it, 'cause i kinda already did and there have also been many passed around, but i keep being curious of people's thoughts regarding hard launch? because with every move they make they open up more and more to us as an audience and for that reason i've actually grown farther from believing they'll hard launch, but i'm never quite certain!

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Dorm Heads - With Zhongli Male Reader

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

I'm sorry this took so long to post, Mystery anon! I've been super busy with personal stuff so I haven't had a lot of free time to work on this. I got pretty burned out at Idia's part and I couldn't be bothered to touch it up honestly; so, sorry about that. I hope this is what you wanted. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏

🌹 This hot headed boy was pretty surprised to find that the supposed magicless student from the orientation ceremony was not in fact magicless; seeing as you brought down a literal meteor and crushed the poor unsuspecting, feline resembling, monster. A meteor which appeared out of thin air and left no traces of damage behind after its impact. To say poor Riddle was confused and also fairly alarmed was an understatement. 

🌹 Your mannerisms were very strange to him. You're very well spoken and composed; yet you're seemingly wise beyond your years. Why are you speaking as if you're in your 80s? Riddle won't lie though; for an old man you're quite good looking. If he didn't have a reputation to uphold and examples to set, he could stare at you all day long.

🌹 A dragon? Well… that explains a lot. No wonder the Dark Mirror couldn't detect magic in you; or at least, that's what he reasons with himself. Please; he needs an explanation, he's so confused. Upon seeing your dragon form though… Riddle is once again confused. Are dragons supposed to be that long? Not that he's complaining though; the way you make a massive bed out of yourself is hard to contest.

🌹 T‐Treasure? Him? That's— Now look here; no amount of buttering him up will make you exempt from the rules, You— you scoundrel! Riddle is not easily tricked! Even if he is a tad bit more lenient with you, no he's not. You have no proof.

🌹 You have a son now too!? Just what else aren't you telling him!? Riddle doesn't mind Xiao at all actually. He thinks that they're both similar in how dedicated they are to their work. The adeptus seems to only tolerate him though; which, while disheartening, he completely understands.

🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏•♡•🃏

"How odd, the Dark Mirror perceived you as magicless, yet you summoned stone and earth just now. Just who are you..?"

🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾•♡•🐾

🦁 Right off the bat Leona could smell it and immediately he knew; that ain't a damn human. However, he couldn't seem to pinpoint just what you were exactly. You smelled similar to his one sided rival, Malleus, but it was different somehow. In the end, he just chalked it up to you being a fae of some kind. He did find it bizarre that the Dark Mirror claimed you to be magicless and directly after that you used magic. Whatever, he just wants a nap.

🦁 Why the hell are you talking like that? You sound like Diasomnia's Vice Dorm Head. Seriously, who in the world says ‘quite’ anymore. But, Leona doesn't mind you going off on one of your long winded story times about your past. Your deep voice is very smooth and soothing to his ears and has lulled him to sleep successfully every time.

🦁 HA! He knew it; his nose is never wrong after all. Well… maybe Leona was off by a little; but you're certainly not a human. A dragon though? No wonder you smelled similar to his nemesis; except your scent is more earthy than the dragon fae's. Your dragon form makes a very comfortable body pillow to cling onto. Yes, he is indeed speaking from experience. What was said experience, you ask? You were taking a nap in your dorm room while in your dragon form and woke up with a wild lion beastman clinging onto you.

🦁 Treasure, huh? Okay, be prepared for him to call you nicknames of his own. Noodle is one that Leona uses the most; a way to endearingly tease you about the foreign look of your dragon form. Another one he likes to use is old man/gramps; a tease on the strange way you speak.

🦁 Oh dear Seven; please not another Cheka, he doesn't think he can deal with another gremlin in this lifetime. Thankfully for Leona though, the avian adeptus is far older than his hyperactive nephew and awfully cold too. The lion beastman is pretty sure that Xiao doesn't like him, but you've continually assured him that your son actually really enjoys his presence.

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"Damn, you sure talk a lot, Gramps. Hah? I didn't tell ya to stop or anything, keep talkin' I'm almost asleep."

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🐙 His immediate impression of you was actually very positive! You seemed incredibly knowledgeable and well spoken. But what really caught Azul's attention was your apparently unrecognizable magic. The Dark Mirror proclaimed you magicless and yet shortly after the proclamation you displayed an exceptional control over stone and earth when you suddenly summoned a large stone pillar to attack your rampaging familiar. Color him intrigued.

🐙 My, what a strange way of speaking you have; are you perhaps anything like Diasomnia's Vice Dorm Head where you're far older than you appear? Azul actually doesn't find your mannerisms all that strange to be honest, he thinks it just gives a certain charm to you.

🐙 Oh, so you're a dragon are you? Would you perhaps be interested in signing a contract with him? It's for your benefit, he swears. No? Damn. Your dragon form reminds him a bit of various aquatic animals that populate the Coral Sea. Don't mind him calling you any names of fish you've never heard of, okay. Sometimes, if he's tired enough, Azul will allow you to cuddle with him in your dragon form. It's quite comfortable, so he doesn't mind too much.

🐙 Azul doesn't mind giving nicknames to people, but he's not too used to receiving from anyone other than Floyd and sometimes Jade. So when you refer to him as your treasure, he's caught off guard and pretty flustered. He'll never not be red in the face when you call him by that pet name, but he has a few of his own for you. Oarfish is one that he uses often, mostly in a teasing sense. Another is Ropefish, this one is used sparingly, he never told you why though.

🐙 Xiao… does not like him. The adeptus made it very clear upon their first meeting when he held the blade of his polearm to the poor cecaelia's throat and fixed him with the sharpest glare Azul had ever seen. It would seem that you told him about the whole contract debacle that went down before his overblot and your son wasn't going to forgive him any time soon.

🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚•♡•🐚

"Are you perhaps interested in making a contract with me? My services are quite high quality and will certainly benefit you in the future. Eh? S‐shady? Me?"

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🪲 Kalim thought that you were really cool when he first saw you at the entrance ceremony! Not only did you help him put the fire on his butt out, you also summoned a huge meteor out of nowhere! “‘I will have order!’” You sounded so cool! Ah… but wait– didn't the Dark Mirror say that you were magicless? Oh whatever, it doesn't matter anyway.

🪲 Why do you talk like you're old? You look way too young to talk like that; maybe around Professor Crewel's age but that in itself is a stretch. Expect a lot of questions from Kalim; like a lot. How old are you really? Are you a fae? Were you raised by your grandparents? What do you mean you don't know what omg means? How did you get your hair so shiny? Why do you wear clothes like that? Where are you from? Do you have a job? What do you do for work? Why are you looking at him like that? Huh… who's Hu Tao?

🪲 A Dragon!? That's so cool! Our precious boy was completely blindsided by the revelation that you were, in fact, not a human. When you reveal your dragon form to him Kalim is ecstatic, attempting to wrap his arms around your now massive form. Most times you'll be lounging on his massive bed while in your dragon form as he lays in the middle of your coiled body; running his fingers through the fur on your neck and pressing kisses to your snout.

🪲 While he certainly doesn't mind receiving nicknames and pet names, actually he loves it, it makes him happy, but Kalim isn't one to give nicknames himself, he prefers to use their birth names because it feels more intimate. However, he's not against it when you call him your treasure, he's very happy, it makes him feel all warm and bubbly inside. He might call you Cobra from time to time but it definitely won't be too often.

🪲 You have a kid? Can he meet them!? Please, please, please! Yes? Yay! Your poor emo son was immediately glomped by the eldest prince of the scorching sands as soon as he entered the room. Kalim was so excited that he didn't even let the adeptus speak before he vomited questions at him. Xiao actually didn't mind him at all, the golden retriever-like boy reminded him of a certain oni he once met in the Casm in Liyue.

🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌

"Why do you talk like you're old but look so young? Are you a fae like Lilia? What kind? Can I see your wings? Am I allowed to ask that? Wait! Was that rude!? I'm sorry!"

🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞

👑 Vil actually had a very positive but slightly strained impression of you. You were very well put together; a foreign beauty from another land if you will. Well dressed, well spoken and dashingly handsome; it would be a lie to say that he felt a bit threatened by your arrival to the NRC. Not only were you undeniably attractive though, you possessed an unknown magic that the Dark Mirror couldn't even identify. You were marvelous but mysterious, beautiful yet dangerous. He couldn't help but find himself lost in those glowing amber eyes as you summoned a translucent shield around yourself.

👑 Goodness you're like that Lilia fellow from Diasomnia, only taller, far more charming and much less with the times. Truly, your lack of knowledge about modern technology and tendency to forget your wallet is astonishing. You're like an old man trapped in a young man's body. Don't worry though, Vil will do his best to lay it all out clearly for you.

👑 I'm sorry, you're a what? Could you repeat that darling, Vil doesn't quite think he heard you right. Oh, a dragon, well… okay. He's never seen a real dragon before but something about that form of yours seems a bit… off should he say? You actually resemble more of a snake in his opinion. He won't cuddle with you in your dragon form, unfortunately. His clothes are far too expensive to be covered in dragon fur; but he will give you a few pets from a good distance away. Take what you can get, man.

👑 I need you to know that Vil is the fairest of them all, he's heard it all by now. Well… he thought he did. It wasn't really the pet name but the sincerity in that loving tone you used when you called him your treasure. Oh, how it made him swoon! You rascal, flattery will get you everywhere with him.

👑 Xiao… is afraid of him. One time, you left the two of them alone for ten minutes and came back to a trashed room, a grinning Vil and a beautified yaksha that was trembling in embarrassment and rage. Your poor emo son was holding himself high up and far away from the beautiful man by hanging onto his winged jade spear that was stabbed into the wall. The Pomfiore prefect was right though, green really is Xiao's color.

🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞•♡•🪞

"Are you sure you're a dragon? I've never heard of dragon being quite so... oddly shaped. No– I'm not saying you look bad, you're very majestic and dare I say intimidating, I simply haven't ever seen a dragon like you before."

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💀 He recognized you from somewhere; he was sure of it, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. From his tablet, Idia watched as the Dark Mirror addressed you as magicless; though, shortly after, you summoned a pillar of dark brown and amber colored stone to subdue your fire spewing familiar. You were so familiar, yet he couldn't think of where from, it was like some divine intervention was preventing it. Weird….

💀 You… How are you so clueless about technology? Just where the hell are you from that you don't know what a phone is? Your young appearance betrays your age too… You're like an irl anime character! Idia is absolutely raving! Hold on; let him write down a couple catchphrases and design you a costume! Don't worry, he'll teach you all he knows about modern tech as long as you go to this upcoming cosplay convention with him. You can be his main shielding healer from ‘Outworld Collision’!

💀 A dragon? Okay… so? Diasomnia's Dorm Head is kind of a dragon, so what's there to be surprised about? Your dragon form is a bit strange looking, but it's not like he'd actually tell you that; then again he's seen a lot of weird fantasy shit in the media he consumes on the daily, so he has no real reason to comment. Idia enjoy sitting in the middle of your coiled up serpentine body as he plays his games and reads his light novels; enthusiastically explaining the plot as he goes.

💀 T‐teasure? Your treasure? This poor man just about died when you called him that pet name for the first time. You thought he was so valuable that you compared him to treasure? Hold on, give Idia a second so he can compose himself, he's absolutely blue screening right now. 

💀 Your son actually still has yet to meet Idia; he always psyches himself up to meet the yaksha but then chickens out at the last minute. He's just worried that if Xiao doesn't like him then you'll change your mind about being with him. It's not that he thinks the adeptus would purposely try and break the two of you up, he's just super paranoid.

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"T‐treasure? Me? Ah... t‐thank you... I t‐treasure you as well; you mean a lot to me. Um, g‐give me a second, I'll give you a nickname too.."

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🐲 Malleus, of course, hadn't attended the orientation ceremony due to not receiving an invitation, however Lilia had told him all about you when he returned to Diasomnia. He was very intrigued to hear about how you didn't seem to be human despite your appearance. As well as how the Dark Mirror had mistakenly labeled you as magicless as you seemed to display expert control over stone and earth. You truly lived up to expectations when he finally met you during his midnight walk around Ramshackle. You were quite the beauty as well.

🐲 Your disposition didn't faze him in the slightest. If anything, it just confirmed Malleus’ assumptions that you certainly weren't a human. He and Lilia speak in the exact same way as you, so he has no reason to be concerned nor intrigued about it. However, your habit of forgetting your wallet is a bit vexing.

🐲 You're… a dragon? Really!? Oh, you have absolutely no idea just how extatic he is to meet another dragon! Er, well, he isn't exactly a dragon, but he is close to it. Whenever you show him your dragon form, he's even more in awe of you than he was before. Truly, you were the most majestic creature he has ever had the pleasure to bear witness to. He'll happily show you his own dragon form too; expect to set aside a few hours once every week so that you and Malleus can cuddle together in said forms.

🐲 Your Treasure, you say? My my, you're quite charming aren't you? Now, Malleus isn't one to be easily flustered, but knowing how important treasures are to dragons, you're practically getting down on one knee when you call him that. Of course, he's not cruel enough to leave the sentiment unreturned, so he's taken to calling you his jewel or his fallen star in reference to you coming from another world.

🐲 Believe it or not, Xiao actually tried to kill him upon their first meeting. The yaksha had mistakenly thought that he was a demon that had somehow followed you all the way here. Thankfully though, you calmed your son down, explained the situation and introduced the two. Malleus actually took quite the liking to him despite the initial frosty reception; saying how the adeptus reminded him of a more quiet version of Sebek.

🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉

"My, look at you. Such a gorgeous mane of fur, those glossy brown scales, curled horns of glowing amber, and those cute whiskers you have. What a magnificent creature you are, my darling."

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[kingofthewilderwest]

We need to start questioning the conflation of "maturity" with "increased stakes."

It's not to say higher stakes is always a bad choice. The first half of the How to Train Your Dragon book series has an endearingly whimsical, child-like feel. Hiccup's issues in the first half of book one are an obnoxious, cat-sized Toothless pooping in his helmet. The movie adaptation might have made the book and its counterpart distant cousins, but it was a thoughtful move to alter concepts to the appropriately theatrical: books and movies aren't the same medium. Hiccup riding alone on Toothless, exchanging fire blasts with a mountain-sized dragon, and losing his leg came off as well-done storytelling.

Hiccup staring at a prosthetic never happened in the book. He didn't lose his leg in his encounter with the Green Death. It was, as the creative powers behind the movie said, a result of the increased stakes. They didn't do this just to be more dramatic; they did it because it seemed that, based on how their narrative was going, this made sense. And this was a soft, quiet, shocking, breath-taking scene that instilled how good the movie handled its stakes. It gave us a reflective reaction to consequences that audiences might not have expected. This movie understood timing, pauses, quietness, narrative arc, poignance, reflection, emotion, love, and heart.

We know about the conflation of live action as "more mature" than animation. But a medium doesn't change maturity levels. We all know that's bogus, and many analyses have been given on that. Disney live actions add extraneous gunk, down to Gaston having a past relationship with war (so I've heard, from the people who actually watched the movie), and Disney giving us the sad scoop on why Belle's mom isn't around. Furthermore, lots of times, when I see the conversion of animation to live action, I notice creators feel a need to "raise the stakes" -- in line with the erroneous view of "giving maturity."

But "higher stakes" often means inserting action in place of mindful interaction. I feel today's Hollywood movies, in their treatment of "action," don't let movies pause and breathe anymore - ergo, they don't let us think. Isn't it more juvenile to actively avoid thought in favor of "hey look I made the building go boom"? There may be less "stakes" in introspection and mindful dialogue, but that's what gives it its maturity. That's how we went from Iron Man 1, with its grounded treatment of war and abuse, to the mindless high spectacle MCU is today.

Snappy one-liners or moments that clap at contemporary issues don't substitute for maturity. What can make a story mature is characters grappling with issues in a natural narrative through-line. A snappy one-liner is its own form of speedy spectacle.

We know about the conflation of "gore and sex" with "mature audiences." I believe they're right that graphic sex and gore is designed for adults. But that doesn't make it mature, and that doesn't make it the only way to target a medium for adults.

"Realisticness" isn't maturity. Per above regarding animation: realistic visuals are nothing. And if you think that putting more Debbie Downer material into your adaptation makes it more adult, you have to ask yourself why the themes that spoke to people's souls got muddled in its midst. We weren't mature enough to interact with the most subtle, nuanced, and impacting voice of the story. But hey! Look! There's more corpses, I guess!

It's not the visuals, it's not the events. It's not the "things." It's not the basic insertion of the external. Get past the superficial, get past the top layer of presentation. It's the mind. It's the ability to think. It's the ability to be still. It's the ability to be interested and attentive when something is slow or quotidian, because we can understand why that is important for narrative growth or arcs or themes or commentary on the human condition. It's the ability to know when and when not to include something. It's the ability to make resonant impact. It's the ability to be deep with your emotions or your themes. It's the ability to take what you have and grow it in a way by which we can derive something deeper.

Maturity is critical thought and well-conducted, appropriate responses to content of any kind.

As DeBlois tells Empire, the move to live-action brings a different emphasis to How To Train Your Dragon; a new heft, both physically and emotionally. “It’s so dialed-up in terms of stakes — having a fully credible, photo-real dragon stomping around trying to kill him,” the director says.

And maybe that DeBlois quote is taken out of context. Maybe there's more going on than that one sentence conveys. Maybe Empire is making their own erroneous assumptions. But "so dialed-up in terms of stakes," isn't, on its own, a good appeal. The animated movie already dialed things up - and knew when to include or not include something. A live-action that imitates the visuals of the animated movie exactly, as if no independent thought has been done to its unique adaptation, to the pros and cons of the medium, to what a independently-presented story needs and doesn't need... It has to make you wonder: how many conflations of "maturity" are going on?

How long are we going to keep making our own conflations?

[unluckilyimnot]

Making out - Oliver aiku, kaiser Michael

Suggestive, mention of throwing up and alcohol

m.list || rules || requests are open :)

Note: hiii someone asked for this but I can't find it anywhere I'm sorry!! I took some time too, I was busy and had no internet this weekend :(

Michael Kaiser

Heavy steps resonate inside the bar the Bastard München team’s manager privatized for the night. They won a big game and everyone was already celebrating when you jumped on Michael’s back. The heavy steps belong to you, taking him off guard but soon his teammates could only see a smile on his lips and hear your laughter.

“Michael you’re the best !” you shouted in his ears, probably making him lose some hearing in the process. You let him go, kind of falling from his back to hug him but before you could understand anything, you were back in the air, pulled in a big hug from your partner.

“I know !” he shouted back, spinning with you in his arms. After a few seconds, he lands you back down as you could finally take place with Michael and his teammates. You came as soon as you could, checking all your media on the way to make sure you read it right. It was amazing, it was unbelievable.

Spending your whole night with his arms around your shoulders, you got easily intoxicated after 2 drinks. Tiredness hitting hard after a day at work when they all still look like they could go all night. Michael almost seemed to relax a little, joking around without really getting up with the other.

He was too busy nuzzling his nose in your hair, smelling your shampoo with a satisfied sigh. Whispering some idiocy in your ear, kissing your temple or even your lips from time to time. He's clearly getting drunk as well.

Excusing yourself at some point of the night, you tried to get up to use the restroom, gripping the table hard in the process to make sure you didn't fall. He notices quickly that you're not steady enough and catches your arm.

“I'm guiding you my dear, if you don't mind,” he said politely, gripping your waist as well.

“I can't decline that. Thank you.” you smile, allowing him to lead the way.

You followed him, a little hesitant in your steps but keeping the pace until arriving safely. Micheal didn't mind waiting for you in the restroom since it was privatized, resting against the sink, checking his hands or hair's end.

"You ok ?" He asked after some time.

You stumble out, sending him a smile, "Yeah."

While washing your hands, Micheal laced his arms around your waist and nuzzled his face in your back. He started kissing the back of your neck, going up behind your ear, whispering out of nowhere "I want you."

You giggled, his lips tingling your soft skin. You turned around, staring at him endearingly. "You can't want something that you already have."

That's all he needed to start kissing you properly, like he wanted all night. One of his hands found your cheek, cupping your face in a lovely way when the other pulled you closer. Tasting the alcohol on each other's lips, the bitter sweet taste makes him want to have more of you.

He licked your lips, asking for permission before you open up and his tongue could start a dance with yours. He didn't lie, you could tell how bad he wanted more by his hands grabbing harder on your skin or by staying a little too close to your ass. But he was on everyone's mind when his was only on you, and he got a call back quickly.

His hands were slowly pulling your shirt up when one of his teammates called for him. "They're ok ?!" He yapped, making Michael click his tongue.

"They were sick but it's fine now !" He screamed back. You gasp, slapping his shoulder. He kissed you as an excuse.

"Pretend you just throw up ♡" and with that, he bringed you back to the party.

Oliver Aiku

"You can't do this !" Your friend cries out at you, catching your wrist and trying to make you realize your mistake. But honestly, you had a few drinks already, intoxicating you and your right mind ended up left behind a few hours ago already.

The fact that he was there, Aiku, your ex, at the same bar as you and your friends tonight was like fate. Or you thought so. Your friend didn't, he's your ex for a reason they said but it seems like you couldn't remember well.

You whined, freeing yourself from their grip. "I'm just gonna say hi ! It's fine !"

You weren't gonna just say hi, but they don't have to know that. Fixing your dress as you get up, making sure to show enough skin to catch his attention, you walk next to him at the bar and order another drink.

"Hi Aiku," you cheered with a smirk on your lips, putting your weight against the bar right next to him. He smirks back at you, his eyes falling on your ass before staring up and down. He was sitting there with his friends, talking to the barman before you showed up.

"Looking good tonight. For someone in particular?"

"Maybe now," you add, fluttering eyelashes in his way. Soon enough, you got your drink and took a long sip.

"Yeah ?" His hand slipped around your waist, pulling you over to force you into his laps. You were half sitting there, already feeling hot as he kissed your neck. Your dress got higher, showing off your thighs so he could rest his hand there.

"You're alone ?"

"No, I'm with my friends." You hummed, liking the feeling of his lips on you a little too much. You forget all the nights you spend crying over him at your friends' places, the way he hurt you and how many times he cheated.

Nothing and moreover nobody feels as good as him. Nobody gives you the chills like he does, it's like he knows your body by heart and knows exactly what to do. His hand slipped between your thighs, grabbing your skin enough to make you choke a moan before turning your face to him.

You kissed him, not able to hold back mostly because of the alcohol you had already. You heard the barman sigh and his friends chuckle at the scene but you're a little too into it to care. He feels free to cup your face, deepening the light kiss you started as if you felt shy.

His hands got a little higher, closer to where you need him the most now. His friends jokingly ask you two to get a room and before his fingers can brush against your panties, someone slapped his hand.

Breaking the kiss in the blink of an eye, you didn't have enough time to whine that your friends pulled you with them, threatening Aiku if he touches you one more time. You can't even explain the things that he laughs at you two.

"I wasn't the one asking for it." He commented before you left, an amused smile on his lips. You return to your original table and with your friends nagging about the asshole that he is and how they knew you would do that.

Yet, you can't help but want to feel his hands all over you again.

I hope you liked it !

[daltonsluvr]

IN THE COMPANY OF THE STARS

pairing: theodore nott x gn!reader

summary: amongst the peaceful covering of the astronomy tower, you find an unlikely comfort in the presence of none other than theodore nott. (1.2k wc)

authors note: first little drabble to bring me back out of my writers slump - and who better than boyfriend no.1 to do so??

"Is this seat taken?" You turned around at the voice, to see none other than Theodore Nott standing behind you, his hands in his pockets, indicating at the space next to you.

Technically, the seat he wanted wasn't a seat at all. It's a part of the Astronomy Tower floor, of which you were sitting on, your feet dangling over the edge. You had a book in your lap, which had been left long forgotten as you looked ahead of you at the stars which danced upon the night sky. It really was the prettiest place in all of Hogwarts.

Slowly, you shook your head, and he nodded in response, taking a seat beside you. It's strange, you thought to yourself, watching him closely as he too dangled his legs out in front of him. The two of you knew each other from classes and such, yet had only interacted a couple of times, usually to ask for a quill or something along those lines.

You realised then just how weird you must have looked, watching him so intensely, and so you forced your attention back to the landscape around you, focusing on the trees ahead.

A few beats. 1, 2-

"You come here often?" he broke the silence first, turning to look at you. You hadn’t noticed until that moment just how startlingly beautiful his eyes were - dead, but with a softness behind them. It was entrancing, to say the least.

"Yeah," you answered, meeting his eyes. "The stars don't ask too many questions, so they're pretty great company when I need some peace." You hadn't meant for the comment to be funny, yet you watched as a chuckle escaped his lips: a beautiful sound, really.

"Didn't think you'd ever be a quiet person," he half-laughed, his eyes crinkling slightly. "Anyone could hear your voice from a mile off."

"Even the loudest of us need some quiet, sometimes," you responded, shrugging your shoulders, and swinging your feet slightly. "This must be a regular spot for you then, huh, given your notorious 'Mr Silent' status?"

The statement was true - this was the most you had ever heard the boy spoke, to anyone. It was his turn to now shrug, before leaning back on his hands. "You could say that."

You assumed the conversation had reached its natural end, and so you took the book you had on your lap and opened it to the page you'd bookmarked, and began reading.

"Romeo and Juliet?" A voice from next to you read, and you turned once more to see Theodore now reading the cover of the book, raising a brow in your direction. "You read muggle literature?"

"Shakespeare is one of the greats, I'd be stupid not to," you answered. Upon seeing the look on his face, you continued, "Don't tell me you've never read Shakespeare."

He shook his head, and you laughed, endearingly. "You are seriously missing out, Nott. Muggle or not, he's amazing. A real genius."

"Well, talk to me, then," Theodore looked down at you, his eyes piercing through your own. "Tell me about this guy and his books."

"They're plays, really," you started, almost unsure as to whether or not to continue. But he looked at you, almost daring you to continue, and so you did.

It was unusual for you to find someone so interested in talking to you, especially about something as niche as the works of William Shakespeare, but then again, Theodore Nott really wasn't like anyone you'd ever met before.

"-this book was one of the first my mother gave to me, and so its always been my favourite," you finished eventually, your voice growing slightly hoarse from talking so much. "Sorry for talking your ear off."

"No worries," he said in return, sending a small smile your way. "The b-play, certainly sounds interesting."

Looking between him and the book, you reached out to him, book still in your grasp. "Here, take it. To borrow."

He looked at you, almost questioning you with his eyes. "Why?"

"Everyone needs to read Shakespeare at least once in their lives, and I'm guessing none of your friends own any of his works, right?" He shook his head once again, and you shook your own in mock exasperation. "Honestly."

You coaxed him once again until he took the book from your hands, and you watched as he felt the cover of it. "It's a bit battered, because it's the one my mother got me when I was younger. And I have written inside it, so you may want to ignore that as well."

You got up, book officially out of your hands, and you dusted off your robes. Finally ready to go, you made to leave, until he called out your name. You turned around to look back at him.

"Thank you." was all he said, a smile lighting up his features with genuity.

"No problem, Theodore-"

"Theo."

"Theo. No worries, Theo," it was your turn to smile as you turned to leave, leaving the Slytherin boy alone.

— —— — — —

"A boy left this for you." A small first year girl approached you no more than a week later, a box in their arms, which they had outstretched towards you. You were sat by the window in your common room, Transfiguration homework in your lap as you worked through the questions McGonagall had set you.

"Did the boy leave a name?" you questioned, looking cynically at the box in front of you, which you had taken from the girl.

"No, he said you'd know who he is." The girl gave you a small fleeting smile, before skipping off, presumably to go and sit with her friends.

The box was noticeably small, and could be carrying nothing more than a couple of things, you thought to yourself, as you carefully opened it.

As soon as you saw the contents of it, though, a smile spread across your face, and you had no doubts of who the box was from. You had never pegged Theodore Nott to be one for dramatics, so you couldn't understand why he had decided to return your book in a box, but nonetheless you appreciated the sentiment.

You picked up the battered copy, the pages just as beautifully crumpled as before, and you found yourself smiling again. A note lay underneath the book, and you picked it up to read what it said.

The play was great - you clearly have good taste. Shakespeare truly is one of the greats. Astronomy tower at 8? — T.N.

Delicately folding the note and putting it in your robe pocket, you took back the copy of Romeo & Juliet in your hands, and began to flip through the pages.

His chicken scratch handwriting tattooed the pages - not overlapping the actual text or your writing, but still written as nearly as he could in numerous corners of the book.

You laughed as you read through a few of them, most of which were his sardonic comments about Romeo's idiocy, and in turn Juliet's naivety.

Eventually closing the book, you set it aside, and smiled to yourself. You weren't exactly sure how you'd found a friend in Theodore Nott, but you were certainly glad that you had.

[oogaboogasphincter]

your pedro pascal character placements - based on your astrological chart! 💟

i made this thread a while ago and i put a silly amount of effort into deciding which character should go with which placement, so i thought i’d post some of my reasoning here! *this is just my personal interpretation of astrology+pedro’s characters; one thing i love about astrology is that it’s all subjective! :)*

**i’m working on adding more characters+placements! i made this list a while ago so i have lots of new ones to add :)**

☀️ Sun signs are said to represent your general personality and the archetypes they symbolize are supposed to act as a goal you’re to achieve in your lifetime, or a way to follow your life’s purpose.

♈️Aries sun: Agent Whiskey

people who fall under this sign are bold, energetic, and passionate about virtually everything in their life.

♉️Taurus sun: Frankie Morales

infamous for being stubborn, people with this placement are rooted in themselves and can be drawn to sensual perspectives.

♊️Gemini sun: Javi Gutierrez

if you have this placement, your mind is a whirlwind; you might be called aloof, scatterbrained, or accused of being in your head a lot.

♋️Cancer sun: Javier Pena

this placement bestows a painful amount of empathy in oneself; therefore, one with this placement might be distanced or protective of themselves and those closest to them.

♌️Leo sun: Din Djarin

people who fall under this sign tend to be people-pleasers, which gives way to them being inclined to indulgence and pride, even if they may at first present or argue otherwise.

♍️Virgo sun: Marcus Pike

infamous for being meticulous, people with this placement tend to be tightly wound and potentially shy or nervous because of it.

♎️Libra sun: Ezra, Joel Miller

if you have this placement, you might fare very well in new situations because of your friendly demeanor. you could be indecisive, but that is often cured by your adaptability.

♏️Scorpio sun: Pero Tovar

this placement makes for confident, intense people who are enshrouded in a quiet, unsuspecting shell. they could give off "doberman" energy.

♐️Sagittarius sun: Max Phillips

so you know i'm an optimist! people with this placement are likely honest to a fault, yet indulge in escapism quite often. you might fall victim to seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.

♑️Capricorn sun: Dave York

people with this placement are one word: driven. this could lead them to being materialistic or standoffish.

♒️Aquarius sun: Maxwell Lord

people with this placement have either never heard the story about the cat being killed by its curiosity or chose to ignore it. they're likely to be intellectual and innovative.

♓️Pisces sun: Oberyn Martell

people who fall under this sign could be considered an amalgamation of all the signs that came before it. they have a knack for empathy and could live in their dreams a lot.

🌙 Moon signs are meant to illustrate your inner monologue, or your emotional reasoning. They heavily impact your personal relationships.

♈️Aries moon: Javier Pena

people with this placement are very direct, but run the risk of becoming argumentative or losing their patience quickly.

♉️Taurus moon: Javi Gutierrez

if you have this placement, you might have a hard time standing up for yourself. you have burdensome emotional depth, but you're conservative about expressing it.

♊️Gemini moon: Max Phillips

if you have this placement, you might feel restless in your own mind and turn to others to express it, making you have a magnetic way with words. you could become shallow when agitated.

♋️Cancer moon: Marcus Pike

people with this placement are empathetic to a fault, which makes them endearingly fragile. you could dwell on things often, unintentionally hurting yourself even more than what something's worth.

♌️Leo moon: Dave York

this placement is very prideful; you might enjoy having a position of control, stealing people's hearts, or being admired or revered. however, you might take things to heart too easily.

♍️Virgo moon: Frankie Morales, Joel Miller

people with this placement tend to be labeled as the "mom" friend; they're reliable, responsible, and like for things to play out simply.

♎️Libra moon: Maxwell Lord

i hate to break it to you if you have this placement (i have it too, so i'm calling myself out just as much as you): you're petty. you could be a natural flirt, yet run the risk of depending on the approval of others if you're not careful.

♏️Scorpio moon: Ezra

people with this placement enjoy starting old things anew. they're have a suspicious feeling ingrained in their minds that just won't go away, so they enjoy transparency in relationships.

♐️Sagittarius moon: Agent Whiskey

if you have this placement, you could enjoy competing with yourself a lot (or think of yourself as your own worst enemy). you could have a tendency to make reckless decisions with cheerful intentions.

♑️Capricorn moon: Din Djarin

although people with this placement can be very guarded, they have a juxtaposing need for validation from others often. therefore, they're calculating when it comes to who they devote their time and energy to.

♒️Aquarius moon: Oberyn Martell

if "not like the other girls" was a placement, it'd be this one. people with this placement tend to take on an observant role rather than an active one, so they are often self-serving, independent, and philosophical.

♓️Pisces moon: Pero Tovar

people with this placement are observant, but instead of being independent like the Aquarius moon placement, they can fall for people's tricks more easily. they have instinctual feelings about people, but their sympathetic tendencies win over, rendering them gullible.

⬆️ Rising signs, also called ascendant signs, are supposed to indicate how other people perceive you or how you present yourself to others. It’s not uncommon for someone to mistake your rising sign for your sun sign because rising signs are sort of like first impressions.

♈️Aries rising: Dave York

if you have this placement, people might think that you move through life at a fast pace, independently, and are quick to jump to action.

♉️Taurus rising: Marcus Pike

people perceive others with this placement as stoic and sensual, often with a calming presence. you might have a sort of comforting, "lived-in" quality to you.

♊️Gemini rising: Maxwell Lord

people with this placement are likely to be thought of as socially exploratory, expressive and analytical; like a firecracker or a party-starter.

♋️Cancer rising: Javi Gutierrez

if you have this placement, you might appear like a wallflower to others. but, your perceived sensitivity makes people feel safe to put their stake in your dependable character.

♌️Leo rising: Ezra

you know those people who command the attention of a room without even trying? they just might have this placement. even though it comes naturally to them, others might think these people to be ostentatious or dramatic.

♍️Virgo rising: Din Djarin

people with this placement are revered for having a reserved character yet are ready to help at a moment's notice. they're not valiantly selfless, though; they're equally receptive to their own needs.

♎️Libra rising: Frankie Morales

people who are sly like a fox — provocative and might be accused more than once of operating under a facade — are likely to have this placement.

♏️Scorpio rising: Javier Pena

if you have this placement, people might think of you as intimidating because of your perceived x-ray vision. but they can see through you, too, to your vulnerability that you try so hard to privatize.

♐️Sagittarius rising: Oberyn Martell

optimistic to an annoying degree, talkative, a go-getter; all phrases used to describe how people with this placement come off to others.

♑️Capricorn rising: Pero Tovar, Joel Miller

people with this placement are often thought of to be responsible and hard-working, contrasted with a deadpan or dry sense of humor that cuts through their tenseness.

♒️Aquarius rising: Max Phillips

if you have this placement, people are likely to perceive you as a unique, educated, flexible, and quirky individual that gatekeeps only the very best parts of themselves.

♓️Pisces rising: Agent Whiskey

people with this placement are received by others as chameleonic. you have a capacity to be emotionally receptive, theoretical, and understand the subjectivity of different perspectives.

[gooperts-gunk]

i saw someone on twitter writing qsmp names in korean and im trying so hard not to be bothered i know they have good intentions but it was just so wrong in parts so instead here's how qsmp names would be written in korean BY THE SOUND not how they're written. note that i am not korean nor on the korean side of qsmptwt but as a casual kpoppie it's a rite of passage to learn hangul and try to learn korean at one point therefore though i am not a trusted source i do know the basics of the phonetics LUL

alphabetical order & categorized!

get ready for me to infodump on mouth sounds

update from the morning after this post: fixed/optimized some!!!

english speaking creators:

badboyhalo: 밷보이헤이로 (baed-bo-i-he-i-ro/lo) i infer it'd be easier to just call him 헤이로 out of every part of him name please let's halo-truth bbh. the 헤이 slurs into the "hey/hei" sound, very little accentuation on the just one part, it works as one!!

dantdm: 단티디엠 or 댄티디엠 (dan-ti-di-em, daen-ti-di-em) i've heard both pronunciations for the name dan, it's a matter of preference here! EDIT: also possibly 댼 instead which is also daen but like, not really? but also they're really similar? and i don't know how to hear the difference but there is one and nevermind don't worry about it man

fit: 피트 (pi-teu) directly would be 핕 but that's just a tricky one it's bound to have a soft ㅡ sound following

foolish: 푸리쓰 or 푸리쌰? (pu-ri/li-sseu, pu-ri/li-ssya) THIS ONE IS TRICKY if it does go 쌰 it's be a soft one, but more likely 쓰 EDIT: IS IT 풀리쎠 (peul-ri-ssyeo) ?!?!?!? IM STILL ON THIS FOOLISH IS SO TOUGH TO PUT INTO HANGUL IM NOT GONNA BE OVER IT

ironmouse: 아이욘마우스 or 아이룐마우스 (a-i-yon-ma-u-seu, a-i-ryon/lyon-ma-u-seu) this one feels tit for tat, same same, just a minor difference in accentuating the r in iron or not! EDIT: could also be 아이런 (a-i-reon) or 아이론 (a-i-ron) !!!

jaiden: 제이든 (je-i-deun) no notes very easy and straightforward one

lenay: 르네이 (reu/leu-ne-i) same with jaiden's!

nihachu / niki: 니하추 or 니아추, 니키 (ni-ha-chu, ni-a-chu, ni-ki) another same same thing with ni-HA or ni-A, just depends on accentuation or not! the 추 may possibly be said as 츄 instead, but im unsure of which

philza: 피르쟈, 피르 (pi-reu/leu-jya, pi-reu/leu) no notes, straightforward! as you will come to notice, f's usually translate to ㅍ's, and z's usually translate to ㅈ's!

quackity: 콰키티 (kua/kwa-ki-ti) no notes! i heard like months back that quackity's korean fandom endearingly calls him 키티 i think?? fun fact i remembered :)

slimecicle / charlie: 스라임씨컬, 챨이 (seu-ra/la-im-ssi-keol/keor, chyal/chyar-i) wow okay so how do you write charlie in korean because i KNOW there's no way it's 챠르리 (chya-reu-ri) my tongue is tripping over the 르리, it has to be 챨이, or 챠리, or 챨리 right??? okay the more i think the more 챨리 (chyal-li) sounds right ok everyone go home i think it's 챨리 LUL

tinakitten / tina: 티나키던, 티나 (ti-na-ki-deon, ti-na) no notes! straightforward!

tubbo: 터뽀 (teo-bbo) no notes! but also i feel like there's other ways to write it that im just not convinced are correct LUL

wilbur soot: 윌버 쑽 (wil/wir-beo ssut) no notes!

spanish speaking creators:

carre: 카레 (ka-re) no notes!

elmariana: 에르마리아나 or 엘마리아나 (e-reu/leu-ma-ri/li-a-na, el-ma-ri-a-na) the reason why i included 에르 alongside 엘 is because it ends up sounding like "ed", the L/R sound in korean is in that same range and when said fast or cut abruptly like 엘, it sounds like a D, if not for context :) so 엘 COULD work! but it'd be hard to recognize it as an L/R sound without some extra space made for the sound. this is also relevant for elquackity!

german: 헤르만 or 헬만 (he-reu/leu-man, her/hel-man) same thing as last note applies here! it'd sound like HED-man more than HER-man but, still, could work!

luzu, arin: 루쥬 or 루주, 아린 (ru/lu-jyu, ru/lu-ju, a-rin/lin) no notes! i see luzu more said with the 쥬 sound instinctively but it's one of those either or i think EDIT: if it were the spain pronunciation i think it'd be 루튜 (lu-tyu) or 루뜌 (lu-ddyu) ??? the thhh sound doesn't exist in korean but this is the closest it gets i think

maximus, maxo: 맠수머스, 맠서 (mak-su-meo-seu, mak-seo) okay at this point my brain is mush and im sure there's a better way to write this but it's a tricky one. the 맠 could also be 막 (mag) but im unsure where in the mouth the difference is between 맠 and 막, because hangul is very mouth oriented, it's allll about tongue placement, and i am SO not on that X_X EDIT: i change my mind it's 막 for maximus but 맠서 is fine i think idk how to explain is just is. also alternate pronunciationfor maximus: 막씨머스 (mag-ssi-meo-seu)

missa sinfonia: 미싸 씬퍼냐 (mi-ssa ssin-peo-nya) yeah that seems about right (my brain is melting everything is hangul) no notes! EDIT: ok but IS it possibly 미사 (mi-sa)??? im doubting myself here

polispol, pol: 폴에쓰폴, 폴 (pol-e-sseu-pol, pol) no notes!

rivers: 리버스 (ri/li-beo-seu) no notes!

roier: 로이예 or 로이옐 (ro/lo-i-ye, ro/lo-i-yer/yel) this is one of those scenarios where an abrupt L/R sound works just fine! don't know how to explain it! but it just works!

rubius: 루비어스 (ru-bi-eo-seu) no notes!

spreen: 스프린 (seu-peu-rin) no notes!

vegetta: 베헷따 (be-het-dda) okay i don't know how to explain but tonalities of how you say vegetta in spanish make me think 베 and that the tta would be equal to the sharpness of 따 stick with me here i've been doing hangul names for so long now i can't see the end of the horizon EDIT: for some reason im changing my mind it might be 페헷따 (pe-het-dda)

willyrex, willy: 위리렉스, 위리 (wi-ri-reg-seu, wi-ri) okay again idk how to explain but the reason why ㄱ and not ㅋ is because it just feels like it instinctively, like that's a deep ㄱ abrubt stop, not a high ㅋ abrupt stop. im losing my marbles

portuguese speaking creators:

bagi: 바지 (ba-ji) no notes!

cellbit: 셀비트 (sel-bi-teu) guys this is getting hard. yes it's somehow sel and not se-leu. yes it's bi-teu and somehow not bit. if it were bit it'd be missing the aftermath TCH sound and i think it sounds good with it. the sel has space to breathe and isn't abrupt. stay with me. we're almost done EDIT: fellow hangul enjoyer anon in ask box said 셀빛 (sel-bich/bit) or 셀비츠 (sel-bi-cheu) if with the accent, i like these, ur getting put on the fridge with the best magnets. 빛 is a fun one because it sounds pretty much the same to 빝 or 빗, all end in the same stop of the tongue going to the roof of the mouth, but 빛 in particular means "light" and i think that's nice :)

felps: 펠릅스 (pel-reub-seu) holy moly i didn't expect this to be a tongue twister but i think i nailed it

mike: 마이크 or 마이키 (ma-i-keu, ma-i-ki) i've heard mike being called mikey so i included it for fun because there's been so much hardship. so so much. we're in this together.

pac: 팩 or 패크 (paeg, pae-keu) paeg and not paek because it's just a more throat based sound to say pac idk man. pae-keu is a hypothetical im losing it man i don't know anything anymore EDIT: okay i change my mind it's definitely 패크 over 팩 im so loopy from hyperfocus overload man EDIT EDIT: i can also see 팍 (pak) being used though that isn't how it sounds for us, i can see someone saying it that way in korean if they were to read it before hearing it and then go from there

french speaking creators:

antoine daniel: 안투완 단옐 (an-tu-wan dan-yel) in french the a's are long so 단 over 댄 is a guaranteed. the yel could be accentuated more but you get the point by now

aypierre: when french accent, 아이피에히, when english accent, 에이피에어 (a-i-pi-e-hi, e-i-pi-e-eo) (thank u anon for contributing 피에어 that makes much more sense)

baghera jones: one way is ��게라 전스 the other is 바길라 전스 (ba-ge-ra jeon-seu, ba-gil/gir-ra jeon-seu) a baGERa or bagEARa dilemma.....

etoiles: 에투왈 (e-tu-wal/war) no notes!

kameto: 카메토 (ka-me-to) no notes!

THERE!!!! IT'S DONE!!!! this was hard but i feel like i got most right. and when im wrong let's just say this was just hangul practice and not serious right guys, just practice round, right??? we don't take me so serious, right??? just stick fight with totem??? if you know korean especially the phonetics better than me which is NOT a high bar at all, you can step over that bar EASY, tell me a better way to write these thank u! smile :)

bonus round coming at you live from the morning after!!! some others that i thought "yeah let's include you"

im gonna be working on this on and off all day i think so don't be scared if someone isn't here chances are brain is doing something else but will add it later :)

cucurucho: 쿠쿠루쵸 (ku-ku-ru/lu-chyo) no notes!

walter bob: 월터 법 (weol/weor-teo beob) could also be 봅 (bob)

chayanne: 챠얀 (chya-yan) or 차얀 (cha-yan) no notes!

tallulah: 타룰라 (ta-lul-la) no notes!

ramon: 라몬 (ra-mon) or if you're pac you say 하몬 (ha-mon) heehee :)

dapper: 답퍼 (dab-peo) or possibly 답뻐 (dab-bbeo) but im not so sure about that one

leo / leonardo / leonarda: if you speak english it's 리오 (li-o) if you speak spanish it's 레오 (le-o), then add on 날도 (nar/nal-do) or 날다 (nar/nal-da) :)

richarlyson / richas: 리찰리손, 리차스 (ri-chal/char-li-son, ri-cha-seu) no notes!

pomme: 펌 (peom) or 폼 (pom) both work here!

trump: 트람프 or 트럼프, to make it trumpet change the 프 to 펫 (pet/ped)

tilin: 티린 (ti-lin/rin) no notes!

juanaflippa: 환나프리파 (hwan/huan-na-peu-li-pa)

bobby: 법비 (beob-bi) or 봅비 (bob-bi) both work here!

empanada: 엠파나다 (em-pa-na-da) no notes!

pepito: 페피토 (pe-pi-to) no notes!

sunny(sideup): 선니사읻엎 (seon-ni-sa-id-eop) this one works nicely because the 읻 bleeds into the 엎 and sounds like it's one full iddeop :) this one is an ending in ㅍ not ㅂ moment but i don't know how to explain why

[catscidr]

Could I request head canons with reader who likes to cook and clean and is basically like a house wife. Dottore and Childe please ☺️

(oﾟ◇ﾟ)ﾉ perhaps you can............. i did my best to try to make these not too redundant , so forgive me if they're a little repetitive sometimes. the tldr is just that they love their cute wife (you) shgjngfns ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: fluff! domestic fluff!! talks of food, mentions of having a family, childe's part gets a teensy bit suggestive includes: fem!reader, dottore and his clones, tartaglia wc: 1,2k

-ˋˏ It’s a popular headcanon that Dottore has a sweet tooth and I’m here to contribute to it bc I’m a firm believer in the Man Bad But Secretly Soft trope.......

-ˋˏ You often find yourself baking desserts for him to eat when he gets home from work and, on the rare occasions that he’s home while you’re baking, you make him taste-test the dessert you’re currently making 

-ˋˏ He’s actually decent at baking (it’s just food science and he’s The Science Guy), however he doesn’t particularly enjoy doing it. But you do! You love doing acts of service for him, which is why you got promoted from housewife to personal-pastry-and-dessert-expert housewife (said endearingly) 

-ˋˏ Good ol’ chocolate chip cookies, maple pudding, red velvet cake, lemon meringue pie, tiramisu, mille-feuille; you'd make so many desserts that he had to buy a chef-grade refrigerator on top of your regular fridge to store them. Not that he minded of course, but sometimes he’d lightly scold you for making so many unhealthy foods (all the while being a hypocrite himself because he’s the one enabling you) 

-ˋˏ Has a mini fridge in his office full of desserts (and the occasional homemade sandwich, for variety). He always has to restock it because his segments always get into it and eat his sweets that you made for him 

-ˋˏ When he tells you about it you end up giving him two extra tupperware containers full of sweets that you insist he gives to his segments, especially the younger ones. If he doesn’t, you’ll just show up to his lab and give your freshly baked desserts to them yourself 

-ˋˏ Sometimes Dottore tries to bake with you, but you always get frustrated that he never makes the desserts look nice. He just takes up space in your shared kitchen when he tries to help; which you tell him that by staying out of your way he’s helping 

-ˋˏ You’re also the designated cook since he doesn’t really have any skills in the kitchen outside of knowing the technical stuff. The man is too busy fiddling with machines and organs to know about how to properly sear a steak 

-ˋˏ His favorite meal of yours is a simple steak paired with a good, dry Malbec. You’re always setting up the table when he gets back from work, to which he always hugs you from the back to greet you. One time you didn’t hear him come in and you accidentally dropped the plate you were holding (you made him eat it as punishment. five second rule) 

-ˋˏ On the rare times he works from home you insist that he doesn’t need to help you with chores, no matter how much he offers (which wasn’t that often to begin with, but at least he offered. like..... once). Instead, he’d get settled on the kitchen table while you wash the dishes, vacuum, etc 

-ˋˏ Some days you’d be in comfortable silence, while on other days you’d listen to him ranting about how irritating his coworkers are, or about how much he wants to fire some of his underlings because they’re “so incompetent”. Thankfully you can calm him down before he,, makes an angry phone call 

-ˋˏ You don’t get the chance to visit him at work that often, so you revel in the times where he’s able to work from home. But since you can’t go see him that often, it means you don’t see his clones either 

 -ˋˏ The older segments would refrain from asking about you (because you’re Prime’s wife, not theirs. he’s yelled at them multiple times about it. bro’s possessive) while the younger ones would consistently bother him about your whereabouts. He insists that he hates it when they ask, but inwardly he imagines how you’d take care of them. (is it to heal his inner child or to imagine how good of a mother you could be? maybe both, but he wouldn’t admit to the former) 

✧✧✧ 

-ˋˏ Childe would have been your housewife if he wasn’t a Harbinger. point blank 

-ˋˏ Buuuut, since he isn’t, he makes sure to take care of you. You’re always cleaning after him, cleaning him sometimes, and overall taking up more tasks than he thought you could (should) chew. Of course, you did it all out of love and didn’t expect him to owe you anything, but he’d feel bad if he didn’t help at least a little bit 

-ˋˏ So once or twice a week (depending on when his schedule allows it) you’ll both be cleaning the house and doing chores together 

-ˋˏ You’re both listening to music while sweeping the floor, reorganizing the pantry, wiping down the counters..... getting as much done as you can before Childe decides he’d rather have you sat up on a counter while he nestles himself closer to you 

-ˋˏ He always buys the best appliances for your sake since you’re the one that’s home most of the time. That one really expensive, cordless vacuum cleaner you saw at the store? He bought it. A duster with a retractable handle that can help you reach the top of shelves without you needing to stand on a chair to clean? Childe bought it before you could even ask. That really cute cherry-shaped deep dish with matching baking utensils you saw at the store together? He’s carrying it to your car right now 

-ˋˏ Though while he does buy really useful things, he balances it out by getting you unnecessary items. Like a frilly pink apron with Kiss the cook embroidered in cursive on it, or a soup ladle that looks like the Loch Ness monster but I digress 

-ˋˏ Childe is 100% a family man- so, as a result, he's thought about having his own family with you. After seeing you indulging Teucer and his siblings’ shenanigans, he absolutely wants to have kids with you and have you do things like read books to them, make them lunch to bring to school, etcetc 

-ˋˏ Loves to come back home from work to you, smelling the fresh aroma of dinner wafting in the air 

-ˋˏ He loves your cooking!! Can’t get enough of it, especially when he comes back from training and he’s all spent. Whether it be your homemade soup, a hearty meaty meal, or a pasta dish he’ll always devour whatever you make 

-ˋˏ You make extra portions of chicken, steak, whatever protein-filled meal when he’s bulking so he can bring leftovers to work to eat them after sparring sessions. It makes everyone else jealous (which is partly his intention lol) 

-ˋˏ Boasts about you to his coworkers and agents below him, always saying “my wife” with a lovesick smile on his face 

-ˋˏ Has a whole bunch of photos of you in his office, ranging from cute candid pictures to professional, framed photos on his desk, and a tasteful polaroid of you in his wallet. Adores showing you off to others (except the photo he has in his wallet, of course. that’s for his eyes only), so much so that sometimes his underlings try to come up with excuses to leave because he goes on and on and on........ what can he say, he loves his cute housewife !!

[siswritesyanderes]

Hii! Would you ever consider writing a yandere snowjanus x reader fic or imagine?

-🐣

Oh boy, I love it.

Imagining they both noticed you at around the same time, separately.

This could be in the Capitol or in District 12; the difference does matter, as far as power dynamic and the tactics available to them and frankly their hairstyles, but for the sake of this post we'll say it could be either one. If necessary, maybe I'll make a separate post for what they're like specifically in the Capitol or specifically in the Districts. (Actually, whether you're a Capitol citizen or a District citizen is also a means of variation, so really there are four different combinations, unless we treat Sejanus' kind of District-born Capitol citizen status as a separate category, in which case five; being District-born Capitol would only matter in the Capitol setting, not the District. Does any of that make sense?)

They both fall for you, but Coriolanus is better at hiding it behind a formal, personable mask. He observes that Sejanus likes you, and if it were anyone else he would feel annoyed and possibly threatened, but he feels pretty in control of Sejanus, so he actually nudges him closer.

His thought is, if he can get Sejanus to do all the work of courting you, he can pretty much slide in there effortlessly once that's done. Let Sejanus clear the way, ward off suitors, prove his loyalty and affection. (Meanwhile, Coriolanus can focus on his University work, his mentorship with Dr. Gaul, whatever other ladder-climbing he's got going on.)

If Sejanus manages to actually win your affections, Coriolanus can use Sejanus' affection for him to add himself to the relationship.

If Sejanus can't win your affections, then at least he got rid of the other suitors. Coryo can take it upon himself to be charming and win you over, and then he can graciously allow Sejanus access to you as well. He does actually like Sejanus and enjoy the idea of charitably sharing someone like you with him; he just will always see himself as the de facto highest-ranking and most important member of the polycule.

The way this looks, in practice, is: Sejanus admires you from afar and feels a passive envy towards any other romantic entities in your life. Coriolanus urges him to act on these feelings, needles the productive insecurities and soothes the unproductive ones. Sejanus trusts Coriolanus when he says that certain people in your life are taking advantage of you or hurting you in some way, believes him when he says that getting rid of them is the right thing to do.

So, Sejanus does things that, left to his own devices, he might only have fantasized about.

It's Sejanus' money and shooting skills backed by Coriolanus' rationalizations and manipulations.

Inside, Sejanus knows that what he's doing is wrong, but Coriolanus is good at making sure the worst of him is rewarded with praise, attention, and you.

With you, Coriolanus is smooth and flattering. He has all the social graces and charming repartee down to a science, if not an art. He is observant, accommodating, and just generally great to be with.

Sejanus is less polished, more endearingly stuck in his head. He's a smart, witty guy, but around you he gets really shy and earnestly wholesome in a way his years in the Capitol have not encouraged. He's been bullied, and he's learned not to be too vulnerable with people, but he finds himself saying really heartfelt stuff to you, and that makes him feel even more helpless than knowing how many crimes he's done to get here.

Coriolanus loves the degree of control over Sejanus promised by the fact that he's the only one who knows about the crimes Sejanus has committed. Like I said, he genuinely likes Sejanus. It feels good to know Sejanus is in so deep and can't turn back. He's going to want to have the same kind of leverage on you, whether it's secrets, financial power, or whatever else. He needs to make sure you need him.

Being with them is nice. They're cute, they're pleasant, they make you laugh.

Sejanus is one of the few people you can talk to about not liking the Hunger Games who will explicitly agree. Coriolanus just sits silently during these conversations, rolls his eyes fondly at both of you, and reminds you not to say any of that in public.

The fact that Coriolanus basically is a Gamemaker now is something that Sejanus weirdly tolerates. You're not sure how the guy who threw a chair in anger, back at the Academy, has resigned himself to just sighing about the inhumanity of it all while sharing a loveseat with his Gamemaker boyfriend. Maybe his time as a Peacekeeper tamed him somehow.

He's comfortable. You're also comfortable. It's weird.

This isn't a kidnapping scenario; you're just in a relationship with the two of them, and as long as you don't try to break up or withdraw in any way, it's all smooth as satin.

If you start going against the grain, though, you're going to find out how many hooks Coriolanus has already put in place. You'll start to see the strings on everything in your life, including Sejanus.

You want to take a trip with your family instead of staying in town to attend a formal event with Coryo and Sejanus? All of a sudden some private statement you made in the past about disliking the Games has been flagged as treasonous, and you're not allowed to travel until the matter is resolved. (If you go to the event with them, the issue swiftly goes away. He explains that he had Dr. Gaul pardon you.)

You want to take a break from staying over with them every other evening, because someone in your family is sick or injured? Suddenly, the hospital can no longer care for your relative for an affordable price, because the Plinths' donations have mysteriously stopped and treatment prices have skyrocketed. Coriolanus is glad to personally pay for them to be cared for.

The more you push, the more stuff will fall apart. If the first little intimidation tactics work as intended, you won't have to see the full extent of the trap.

Coriolanus gives you a jabberjay in a birdcage, as a gift, and uses it to spy on you. He might place Sejanus in charge of obtaining information from the jabberjay, because Coryo loooooves to keep his hands clean.

(Let me know if you liked it!)

[makeitmingi]

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 37]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.2K

Chapter warning(s): Reader has a little meltdown/ anxiety. Read at your own discretion!

"Mr and Mrs Jeong." You greeted Yunho's parents outside the restaurant.

"Ah, drop the formalities, sweetie! I already told you to call us abonim and omonim. You're practically family!" Mrs Jeong pointed to her husband then herself, holding your hands in hers. You nodded with head, feeling some heat in your cheeks. There was so much love in her smile as she stared at you.

"And you look so beautiful as always!" She pulled you in for a surprise hug. You recovered quickly from the surprise, lifting your arms to hug her back.

"Okay, omma. That's enough." Yunho cleared his throat and gently pulled you back to his side.

"Oh, don't be so possessive son." Mrs Jeong clicked her tongue in disapproval, seeing how Yunho was holding you.

"Our table is ready, let's go in." Gunho informed. You smiled and waved to Gunho, who waved back with a friendly smile that made him look like Yunho.

"No, she's mine." Yunho squinted his eyes at his younger brother, moving you to stand behind him.

"Yun, what are you talking about?" You chuckled.

"You called him cute the first time you saw him at the restaurant. No, even worse, you thought he was cuter than me!" Yunho argued, pointing to Gunho, who just blinked in confusion. You can't believe Yunho remembers that.

"And until now, you still haven't told me that I'm cuter and better than him." He pouted at you. Gunho scoffed at his older brother before heading into the restaurant.

"You're the cutest and bestest to me, alright?" You cooed. He nodded with a goofy smile and leaned down to give you a kiss.

"We better go in." You said and walked into the restaurant with Yunho. It was a cute French bistro.

"Have you been here before?" Yunho leaned over to ask you softly as the two of you sat down in your seats and were handed menus by the wait staff.

"Just because I'm a chef, doesn't mean I know every restaurant, Yun." You laughed as you scanned through the menu.

"They have boeuf bourguignon! I know what that is." Yunho pointed at the menu. That dish had a special place in yours and Yunho's hearts, it was the first time you invited him over to your house and cooked for him. And Yunho will always find endearing how you fell asleep on the couch.

"Are you getting that?" You asked.

"Nope. I'll forever only have the one you cook." Yunho shook his head. You pursed your lips at him.

"Yun, don't say that. And who knows, they may make it better." You shrugged but Yunho was stubborn, shaking his head and looking at the other menu items.

"Have you decided what you're having?" Yunho leaned over.

"I'm thinking between the bouillabaisse, which is a seafood stew, and coq au vin, the chicken mushroom red wine dish." You told him.

"That does sound good... Since I'm not having the beef dish, I'll order the coq au vin. You can order the seafood stew and we'll share it?" He suggested with much excitement.

"You don't have to, Yun..." You smiled softly.

"I'm not sacrificing anything by ordering that. I'm sure they're both good." He smiled. There was no arguing with him so you nodded in agreement. You didn't know that Yunho's parents were looking at the two of you endearingly.

After giving your orders to the waiter, Mr Jeong ordered a bottle of wine and offered you a glass. Yunho wasn't drinking since he drove but you felt bad for turning down a glass.

"Cheers." Mrs Jeong toasted and everyone clinked their glasses before taking sips of their wine, water for Yunho.

"Actually, Mr and Mrs Jeong. I wanted to apologise to you." You spoke, putting your glass down.

"Apologise to us? What for?" Mr Jeong asked, blinking. Mrs Jeong tilted her head in puzzlement and even Yunho gave you a curious look, having heard this the first time.

"The other time we met, I apologise for leaving the party aburptly without a proper goodbye." You explained.

"Oh! That. Don't be sorry, silly. It didn't even occur to us." Mrs Jeong said.

"Still, it was rude of me and-"

"We understand, dear. Really." She cut you off with a soft smile, one that only a mother can give. You nodded with a grateful smile of your own. A lot of people knew what your father and your relationship with him was like, it wasn't a surprise that you didn't get along, especially with your stepfather.

"It wasn't your fault." Yunho said to you with a small frown, holding your hand over his thigh. You sent him a soft smile, knowing he really hates your father. Who doesn't?

"So, (y/n), tell me what it's like dating my brother." Thankfully, Gunho changed the subject.

"Yah, Jeong Gunho..." Yunho gave his brother a threatening glance.

"It's been great, actually. Yunho treats me very well, he takes care of me and is very patient with me." You said with a giggle, feeling your cheeks heat up. You were not used to expressing yourself like this.

"That's good. He better be taking care of you." Mr Jeong raised an eyebrow at Yunho.

"He is, I'm very thankful." You smiled.

"See? You two raised me well, I know how to take care of my partner." Yunho scoffed but had a proud smile on his face, hearing you speak so highly of him.

"Sometimes he's an overgrown, excited puppy, isn't he?" Mrs Jeong asked you. You stifled a laugh, nodding in agreement.

"I thought I was the only one that saw his puppy-likeness. Right from the start." You said between your laughs. Yunho stared at you with a done look, knowing you were always trying to push his golden retriever agenda.

"You're not the only one. Don't worry, we know what you're talking about." She smiled.

"Him and Gunho have been puppy siblings from the start. Even the way they used to fight as kids or now too, they're like litter mates chewing on each other." Mr Jeong chuckled.

"Appa~" The two brothers whined in embarrassment.

When the food was all served, you all dug in, starting with the appetisers that were ordered then the main course.

"How is it?" You asked Yunho as he cut into the chicken. He melted against your shoulder, letting out little sounds of happiness at the taste of the dish.

"That's good." You laughed, breaking a small piece of bread to dip into the stew and offered it to him.

"Thank you." He leaned forward and ate the bread that you were holding out. He pointed at your dish and nodded in approval.

"This is all so good, I love it. I can't decide which is my favourite." Yunho said, making you and his parents laugh. Even though you fed Yunho, Mrs Jeong noticed that Yunho cut a small piece of chicken and let you use your own fork to pick it up for a taste, respecting how you found such PDA awkward.

"It's good, isn't it?" Yunho nudged you lightly as you covered your mouth to chew.

"It is, it's done very well. One of the better coq au vins I've had here." You said. Yunho smiled, happy to know you like the dish even if he wasn't the one that cooked it.

"You're smiling like you're the one that cooked it." Gunho joked.

"Yeah, well I ordered it so it counts." Yunho stuck his tongue out at his younger brother.

"After (y/n) recommended it." Mr Jeong piled on.

"You're all bullying me, I don't like this." Yunho sulked. You chuckled and patted his thigh, with a comforting smile. They moved on to talk about other things, making sure you were included always.

"Excuse me, I need to use the loo." You forced a smile and excused yourself with a bow of your head. You entered the individual toilet and locked the door behind you, leaning against the door and letting out a shaky breath.

It suddenly became overwhelming for you, you didn't know why. Seeing Yunho's happy family. When was the last time you sat down to eat with your family without fighting?

But this isn't about you and your pitiful life. This was you getting to know your boyfriend's loving family, being accepted by them and-

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"O-Occupied!" You stuttered out, standing straight.

"It's me." You heard Yunho's voice on the other side and unlocked the door. Before you could say anything, Yunho made his way in, making you step back.

"Yun, you shouldn't be in here. People may think we're up to no good." You tried to pass it off as a laugh or joke.

"Are you okay?" He stared down at you, a frown of worry on his face. You looked up at him and nodded your head. He tucked your hair behind your ear, he wasn't convinced by your answer.

"Seriously, I'm okay. Don't worry, we shouldn't worry your parents by being away for too long." You said, putting an assuring hand on his arm. You didn't want Yunho to feel the need to comfort you again, it's what he is always doing. And that just makes all the guilt and doubt creep up your throat.

"Stop." He grasped your wrist and tugged you to him, hugging you to his chest tightly. You closed your eyes, enjoying the warmth and security of his hug.

"I love your family. They're so nice, you're lucky to have them." You said, words muffled slightly by his hug as you clutched onto him.

"And they love you too. They're your family as much as they are mine, okay?" He whispered, rubbing your back.

"I swear, I'm not jealous or anything about your family, Yunho. I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry. I'm just petty and clinging onto what could have been..." You shook your head.

"Which you have every right to so don't apologise." He held your chin and tilted your head up.

"I love you." He spoke.

"I love you too." You replied with a soft smile, letting him lean down to give you a kiss. Yunho was too kind for his own good but you loved him and didn't want to let him go. When the both of you pulled away, you leaned against his chest.

"Sorry, I didn't think the first time I'll tell you I love you would be in the bathroom of a restaurant." Yunho chuckled.

"Don't worry about it, this isn't the first time." You replied with a giggle. Yunho pulled back to give a questioning look, not knowing what you were referring to.

"Yesterday in your drunken stupor, you told me you loved me. Then told me you loved the cake I made." You explained to him.

"I-I did?" He stuttered, his cheeks turning red as he facepalmed. You nodded your head.

"Oh god. Why didn't you mention this to me?" His head fell onto your shoulder. All you did was continue to laugh, wrapping your arms around his head.

"You were too cute. But we should really go." You said to him, stroking his cheek. He nodded and straightened up.

"Wait, before we go back..." He quickly stole another kiss before opening the door to let you through, making your eyes widen in shock. Yunho walked behind you as you headed back to the table. The first thing you did was bow and apologise to Yunho's family for disappearing for so long.

"No worries. Shall we get dessert?" Mrs Jeong asked, not making you feel embarrassed or anything, playing it off as a minor issue. You hummed and looked at the menu.

"So, what's good?" Yunho, once again, leaned over to ask you.

"I'm not telling you." You snickered and hid your face behind your menu, playfully leaning away from him.

"But (y/n)~ I wanna share with you." Yunho whined, continuing to lean into you until he was practically draped over you while you were laying on the couch of the booth.

"Yunho! Let the poor girl go before you squish her." Mrs Jeong scolded her son.

"What can I get you all for dessert?" The waiter came. Yunho cast a look over to you, waiting for you to order.

"We'll share a crêpes suzette and and a slice of tarte tartin." You ordered with a small chuckle, you gave in to Yunho too easily. The waiter nodded and took the other orders before leaving. Mr Jeong chuckled, shaking his head.

"Do you always give in to him so easily?" He raised an eyebrow. His smile indicated that he was joking.

"Can't help it... I guess we just give into each other a lot. Sometimes without knowing too." You smiled with a casual shrug. Yunho nodded in agreement.

When the desserts were served, all of you shared your desserts. Mr Jeong had a small glass of digestif orujo (Spanish after dinner drink of alcohol, most likely Spanish brandy, served in a shot)

"See? Trusting you chef taste is good." Yunho said happily, eating a piece of the crepe.

"Grand marnier, an orange liquor is poured over and lit up. This is one of Jongho's favourite desserts actually." You told him.

"Would you like a glass?" Mr Jeong offered.

"Oh, no. I'm good, abonim. Thank you for offering." You shook your head, not wanting to take anymore strong alcohol. You took a bite of tarte tartin that was served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream then pushed your plate closer to Yunho for him to take a scoop off your plate to try.

"Can you make this? I like it." Yunho pointed to your tarte tartin.

"Sure, Yunho. I'll make it next time you come over and you can use different fruits too, whatever is in season." You laughed. Yunho clapped his hands excitedly.

After all the desserts and conversations were done, Mr Jeong raised his hand to ask the waiter for the bill.

"Actually, Mr Jeong, if it's okay with you, I would like to pay for dinner." You offered. Yunho's parents looked at you with wide eyes.

"What? Nonsense, (y/n). We appreciate it but we can't let you pay! Ah... how about, next time, you cook dinner for us instead?" Mrs Jeong waved you off with a giggle.

"That's a promise." You smiled. Once the bill was paid, you all headed out.

"Thank you so much for tonight, it has been great. I had a great time and the food was amazing." You said to all of them.

"Aww, you're most welcome, (y/n). We have to do this again soon, okay? Don't stay away for too long." Mrs Jeong pulled you into a tight hug. You melted in her hold, closing your eyes as you savoured the feeling of a mother's hug.

"Any time you need anything, let us know." Mr Jeong gave you a fatherly smile and tucked you to his side for a brief hug, just like how Yunho always did.

"I will, thank you. Have a good night, omonim and abonim." You smiled. You waved to Gunho, who waved back with a bright grin.

"Bye, (y/n)~" Gunho sang as he waved. Yunho glared at his brother but still gave him a goodbye hug.

As you all parted ways for the night, you and Yunho decided to go for a short walk at a nearby park before heading home. The weather was nice to spend some quiet time with Yunho.

"So, what did you think of tonight? I know my family can be... enthusiastic..." Yunho asked.

"They're great, I love them and I'm glad I got to know them better, especially your mother." You said, taking a seaton the bench.

"Yeah, she's a little... excited... to have a daughter to hang out with and do girly things together. You don't have to give in." Yunho rubbed the back of his neck. You shook your head, you were happy to spend time with Yunho's mother, it would be like all the time you could have had with your own mother.

"Actually, I-"

*meow*

"What's wrong?" Yunho tilted his head when you stopped talking mid way. You turned your head, looking around for the source of the sound. It was faint but you could hear it.

"You didn't hear that? Like a 'meow' or something..." You frowned, having heard it again.

"No, I don't hear anything. Or is there only a wavelength cats can hear each other on?" Now it was Yunho's turn to tease you.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny, turning the tables on me." You scoffed. You stood up, walking to where you heard the sound. Yunho curiously followed behind you.

"(y/n), be careful." Yunho warned. You stooped in front of some bushes, pushing them aside. Behind them, there was a small cardboard box. But before you could open it, Yunho grasped your arm to stop you.

"It's fine, Yun." You laughed and opened the box. It was hard to see so you used the torch on your phone to see.

There, in the corner of the box, a black kitten was curled up. It looked up and stared back at you with big green eyes. Yunho, with longer limbs, reached in to help you bring the box out.

"Look at you, poor thing." You gently reached out to stroke the kitten's head.

"Should we take him or her... out of the box?" Yunho abruptly reached in to try and grab the kitten.

"Oww! It scratched me." Yunho recoiled with a hiss of pain, looking at the little lines that the kitten left on his hand. Thankfully, it wasn't deep enough to bleed.

"You can't just reach in and grab it, Yun. Be gentle, you probably spooked the poor thing." You said.

In the end, Yunho helped carry the entire box with the kitten in it to his car. But he didn't want you to have it on your lap since it was dirty from being on the floor for god knows how long. So you coaxed the the kitten out and wrapped it in your jacket. You sat in the passenger seat with it in your lap.

"So what do we do with the little guy?... Or girl..." Yunho asked, leaning on his steering wheel.

"Well, we can't just leave it out there. It's just a baby, it won't survive." You sighed. The kitten snuggled into the warmth of your jacket, closing its eyes.

"Let's get some cat food and bring it home for a bit to get it warm." Yunho suggested.

"Okay, you hold onto it. It seems to like you more." Yunho said. But before he could start the engine to drive, you let the kitten go over.

"See? It likes you too. Just don't be too abrupt when handling him." You giggled, seeing the kitten curiously sniff Yunho as it balanced on the middle console of the car.

"Just hold onto it! I can't drive with a kitten in my lap." Yunho burst out laughing, gently patting the head of the kitten.

"Come here, the big doggy man is too scary, huh?" You cooed to the kitten while Yunho rolled his eyes and began to drive to the nearest pet store that was still open. The kitten comfortably curled up in your jacket again.

"Don't worry, you won't be alone again." You smiled softly.

~

Series masterlist

[minyard-05]

drunken/drugged confessions, kevaaron 👀

this got out of hand oopsies

(written largely whilst watching the battle of helms deep in lord of the rings, if that means anything)

prompt game

-----

"Have you tried talking to anybody who isn't us about this?" Renee asked gently.

Kevin sighed.

"Matt and Aaron are friends, Neil and Aaron just pretend they're not friends, Nicky is Nicky and also in Germany, and Andrew would murder me on the spot."

"What about Dan?"

Kevin looked over to the blonde that was perched on the kitchen counter.

"Allison already tells Dan everything I tell you two."

Allison nodded without looking up from her phone. Renee sighed, endearingly, and reached over to squeeze Allison's hand.

"Got any advice?"

Allison looked up.

"Honestly, Kev? If you're seriously trying to get over this Aaron thing, which I am generously only teasing you about internally right now, then just let me take you to a gay bar and you'll forget his name in five minutes."

Kevin was skeptical. It definitely wasn't the first time Allison had pitched this idea, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Honestly, Alli?" Kevin replied, mimicking her tone as Allison raised an eyebrow.

"I will be dead before I let you take me to a gay bar."

-----

They were in a gay bar and Kevin Day was very much still alive.

"C'mon, you're going to have fun. Let go a little!" Allison had to shout to be heard over the music, and Kevin settled for flipping her off so she couldn't pretend to mishear.

"Look, we'll stay for twenty minutes, and if you still hate it, movie night, okay?"

Allison squeezed his shoulder with her hand as she said it– Kevin knew that meant she was honest. If he pushed any further, if he seriously wanted to leave, she'd let him, no questions asked. Allison knew how to push, but she also knew when to let it slide. Kevin rolled his eyes, but said,

"Fine."

Allison clapped, and disappeared into the crowd not long after. Kevin aimed for the wall and managed to maneuver his way through the crowd before he found a spot to watch the dance floor.

It wasn't that bad, he thought after a while. More people in a confined space than he was usually comfortable with, but most of them pretty much stayed out of his way, and the various costumes and complicated outfits clubgoers had put together for their night out was entertainment enough. He felt moderately underdressed in a green shirt and jeans, but he was hardly the center of attention.

Somebody was, though. Even from this distance, it didn't look like he was trying to be, but part of the crowd just swarmed around him, twisting and moving in and amongst each other like the tide. A flash of blond hair in the middle of the crush caught Kevin's eye as he watched.

Aaron looked nothing like he did at Eden's back in college, though Kevin supposed he hadn't really been paying attention back then. Here, now, a year since he'd graduated, it was like he was a completely different person. Aaron's hair was longer, and he wore black jeans with silver chains hanging at his hips, a loose black shirt with a tight fishnet under layer, and a smile on his face that looked like nothing Kevin had ever seen before.

He watched Aaron move for so long he didn't notice when the blond finally appeared at his side, warm, close, unfairly gorgeous.

"No fucking way you're actually here, Your Highness," came the familiar voice, Aaron's voice, slurred from alcohol and barely audible over the pulsing rhythm booming through invisible speakers. Kevin stared at him.

"You're drunk," Kevin said, but that was obvious. Aaron grinned and downed the last of whatever was in his glass.

"You're gay," he replied, pointing an accusing finger into Kevin's face.

Kevin blinked, but pushed his hand away.

"Bi, but sure. So are you, apparently."

Aaron just grinned again.

"Nah," he said, nonchalantly.

"I just come for the..." he paused, taking a long second to look Kevin up and down before finally coming back to meet his eyes.

"Music," he finished.

Kevin felt something disturbingly familiar in his gut and did his best to ignore it.

"You here alone?" Aaron asked, swiping Kevin's drink from his hand and taking a sip, pushing it back with a grimace soon after.

"There's no alcohol in it," Kevin explained.

"And Allison is somewhere, I think."

Aaron raised an eyebrow at him.

"Reynolds?"

Kevin nodded.

"Huh. I didn't know you two still talked."

"You wouldn't," Kevin replied, too fast, and Aaron's expression suddenly turned dark.

"Fuck it," Aaron said, louder, and started to pull away.

"I'm getting another drink."

Kevin suddenly had a hand around Aaron's arm before he fully realised it.

"No," he said.

"Let go of me, Day," Aaron said fiercely.

"It's late, and you're already wasted. We should go."

"Who the fuck is 'we'?"

"Aaron," Kevin insisted, but he loosened his grip. Aaron tried to pull back again, but stumbled, shaking his head like he could make the world clearer by force. Kevin had to grab onto him again to stop him collapsing entirely, and he started to move them around the wall and headed for the door. Aaron pushed at him, but his strains grew weaker. Kevin held on as loosely as he could without dropping him, and finally they stumbled out into the night.

The street was quieter than he'd expected, but one glance at his watch said it was already past midnight. He briefly wondered what had happened to Allison, but all other thoughts suddenly vanished when he looked back at Aaron.

"Why the fuck are you even here?" he spat, sudden anger in his words as he finally forced himself away from Kevin, turning to face him.

A million answers suddenly spun around Kevin's head.

Wondering if Alli will let me drink again.

Trying to distract myself.

Trying to exist as something different for once.

Trying to forget about you.

"Did Andrew fucking send you? To come looking for me?"

Now it was Kevin's turn to stare in confusion.

"What?"

Aaron suddenly laughed, but it was bitter, cold.

"That's it. That's fucking it, isn't it? You can't just leave me alone, can you? Can't let me live my own fucking life for once, on my own!"

"That's not–"

"Why do you think I fucking left?"

Silence. Kevin watched Aaron, tentatively waiting for him to continue, but Aaron folded his arms, shivering in the December night.

"You were trying to forget about the Foxes," Kevin said, slowly, because it was all he really knew.

"I was trying to forget about you," was the response, sharp, angry, full of venom.

Kevin's head spun as he processed the words. He knew he hadn't been drinking, but he suddenly wished he was because this wasn't real. This wasn't right. Aaron had never been like that. Aaron had never wanted him. Aaron was straight, or Kevin guessed that wasn't true either, but whatever he was, this wasn't it. This wasn't how this happened.

Aaron stepped back, like he'd only just realised what he'd said, but he was still drunk, so Kevin instinctively reached out to steady him, but Aaron moved further away.

"Shut up," he said, even though Kevin hadn't spoken.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. Fuck off."

Aaron turned to leave, and Kevin followed. He had to.

"Why were you trying to forget me? What did I do?"

Aaron suddenly spun back around.

"You– you don't fucking know? You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

Aaron opened his mouth like he was about to speak but no words came. He stared up at Kevin, not angry anymore, but hurt.

"Aaron-"

Aaron's hand was suddenly over Kevin's mouth (IGNORE THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE), and he was shaking his head, voice lower now, almost gentle.

"Don't. Don't say it. I can't hear it from you."

They stayed there for a moment, Aaron's cool skin pressed against Kevin's, heartbeat pulsing steady against his lips, before Aaron stepped back.

"Goodbye, Kev."

Kevin watched him walk away.

-------

[ryutaria]

Tears and Hearts

Synopsis: With Al Haitham by (Y/N)'s side, she would never have to navigate parenthood all alone...Not when his daughter loved his comfort...

Word Count: 3.5k+

Tags: alhaitham x f! reader, comfort, postpartum depression, sfw, Acting Grand Sage Al Haitham, married life, domestic comfort, a teeny tiny CyoNari, father! Al Haitham, parenthood.

A/N: Comfort because we need it.

A prevalent serenity prevailed over the city as the stars twinkled in the distant skies, faint balls of luminance enchanting to the onlookers' eyes. Darkness had engulfed the world just a few hours ago: rendering the mortal beings to seek solace in the street lamps and artificial mechanisms of luminance invented by the research scholars a long time ago. However, as the sands of the hourglass trickled down the ampule, the city dwellers began to retire to their own residences rendering the streets isolated albeit a few birds who could only hoot freely when the world was at peace yet again.

This was only a natural routine for the world, the moon chased the sun yet they never met unless the eclipse aligned them. However, (Y/N) found her calmness in these small things. The little things in everyday life that are taken for granted by so many... and appreciated by only a few. These things seldom mattered for researchers and scholars of the Akademiya, but as a decorated Professor of Rtawahist Darshan, (Y/N) understood the difference between living and surviving... existence. Moving away from the windowsill of her husband's study, her eyes trailed towards the clock on the mantelpiece: a pretty little vintage clock in the form of an hourglass.

12:17 - read the clock.

(Y/N) smiled as she remembered Kaveh who had gifted it on her second anniversary

"It's so pretty Kaveh!" (Y/N0 exclaimed as she hugged the piece closer to her heart much to the dismay of her husband.

"I got it from one of my expeditions in the desert you know. It -"

"It's just a time tracker (Y/N)." And there goes her husband, the ever logical and very rational Al Haitham as he huffed at Kaveh.

And that was the beginning of another teenage quarrel between the two and she couldn't help but giggle. Time sure flied... Here she was now: Married to Al Haitham for five years as she wore the Nagadus emerald studded platinum loop proudly on her ring finger. Recently there had been another addition to their household, a miniature Al Haitham although a girl child who had turned two months old just a week ago. Another reason why she couldn't resume her scholarly duties yet for the newborn needed attention and care and even when Al Haitham had insisted to help she had told him not to worry for (Y/N) was confident she could handle their little one alone.

"But aşkım I could help" Al Haitham said as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear tracing her cheek.

"I'll be fine 'Haitham..." (Y/N) called endearingly as she slowly engulfed his larger hands in her much smaller ones.

However, little by little, all the chores were making her stressed and anxious, the post partum depression in full effect. (Y/N) had been a good mother of course but all the tiredness of household chores and looking after the newborn who wouldn't calm down unless Al Haitham held her was making her all the more agitated. If he was busy or not available she would have to resort to talking to her about Al Haitham's adventures and past shenanigans. Another reason why she was awake in the dead of the night when all the citizens of Sumeru had hit the hay for the day...

The postpartum depression only further added onto her stress for her hormones wouldn't remain stable no matter how much she tried. (Y/N) had asked Tighnari for the medicinal herbs to control them of course but...

"Only if it's very urgent okay, or I am telling Al Haitham what you've been doing" Tighnari scolded, his ears twitching in frustration as he thrusted the herbs in her hand. "They're harmful in the long run you know" he added, concern clear in his eyes.

"Thank you 'Nari... I'll tell him eventually..."

"You said that last time too" Cyno peeked up behind Tighnari, bed hair and a cup of coffee in his hand. This made (Y/N)'s and Tighnari's eyes widen as he quickly turned away from his lover to glare at (Y/N).

"You were WHAT?!" And (Y/N) giggled awkwardly as she sighed.

"That's it! I'm telling the sage what his wife has been doing behind his back!" Tighnari said marching towards his home before (Y/N) grabbed his arm.

With empty promises and white lies she still managed to convince the Chief Forest Ranger to keep his lips sealed, glaring at Cyno when he wasn't looking. The Mahamatra who had been quietly observing the exchange from behind lover slowly giggled as he started to move inside before-

"Only THIS time! You hear me? And WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING HUH? YOU DARE GIVE OFF HERBS JUST BECAUSE I TAUGHT YOU ?!" and Cyno was quick to retreat inside the house with Tighnari hot on his heels.

And (Y/N) was sighed in relief as she made her way towards her home praying to the Archons that her daughter would still be asleep at Nilou's.

However, she wouldn't tell this to Al Haitham for (Y/N) knew how taxing his life had recently become. What with the overthrowing of Azar, the restoration of Lesser Lord Kusanali and Al Haitham being promoted to the rank of Acting Grand Sage was already hectic enough for him. Nilou was only aware how many evenings, (Y/N) had broken down and cried on her visits to the Haitham household.

"Just tell him (Y/N), it would be much better that way " the red-head consoled (Y/N) as she stroked her hair to comfort her.

(Y/N) pulled away a little as she shook her head in the negative, wiping away her tears as she hiccupped a little.

"Can't" she chocked. "Can't add onto his stress Nilou" and she broke down again as her friend hugged her again - closely as her shoulders shook with her hiccups. "Don't...wanna...be...burdensome"

And Nilou felt defeated. Only then she wished that her dearest friend would break down in front Al Haitham just so he could know what she was going through. Al Haitham needed to know this no matter how carefully (Y/N) hid the stress behind her eyes.

She slowly made her way to the nursery to find her daughter asleep and she sighed in relief. Maybe she wouldn't need the herbs anymore, after all she had run out of supplies just a day ago. The little emerald on her daughter's chest glimmered in the moonlight as she breathed in peace and that was enough solace for (Y/N), unaware of the turmoil that was waiting to erupt again.

Al Haitham had come home just two hours ago, his voice devoid of any life as he greeted her and she knew that the Acting Grand Sage was tired. She took the off-coat off his tired shoulders as he slowly entered the kitchen for she insisted him not to go to bed on an empty stomach.

"It's not healthy 'Haitham..." she had called as she kissed his cheek lovingly. Nevertheless, she felt a little guilty on the inside, for what she was doing wasn't healthy either..."Just a little, yeah?" and he had leaned further into her touch as he nuzzled his nose in her palm.

"Only if you feed me, aşkım..." and she smiled as he told her how tiring it was to be the Grand Sage.

"Acting Grand Sage" he had corrected (Y/N) and she laughed as she fed him another bite of the meat stew. And then he had retired to bed, too tired to turn off the lamps and she had sighed before kissing him 'Good Night' as she put out the light.

(Y/N) had just gotten done with all the chores: the laundry, the dishes - a little crying as she hurried off to feed their daughter- putting out clothes in the backyard for she had faith they would be dry by the morning (It had been a little windy all day),dusting through Al Haitham's study: a weekend ritual for it was Friday. After admiring the night view from the window in her husband's study she had walked to the nursery to make sure her daughter was still asleep, sighing in relief for she still was... breathing in calmness with her (E/C) eyes closed and her ashen-hair splayed across the cot.

And now that (Y/N) was thinking of a warm bath to wash off the sweat and dust from her body, her eyes widened as they darted to the cot. Her daughter had stirred awake, throwing another teary tantrum as she quickly reached for her daughter in the cot for she knew Al Haitham was a light sleeper and she wouldn't wish to disturb his peace.

Taking the child in her arms, (Y/N) gently cooed at her, cradling her by the window as she pointed at the stars and moons and little trinkets in the nursery. And slowly (Y/N) started narrating the incident when Al Haitham had forgotten his keys at her home.

"Uncle Kaveh hadn't come home and your father had to sit at the - Aww sweetie, no~~"

The wailing started again as the child's eyes teared up and (Y/N) rocked her a little in her arms praying to the Archons for her to quieten down. And before she knew tears started pricking her own eyes...

Al Haitham could hear the little noises in his household, washing away his sleep as he yawned. Turning to his left he frowned when he was greeted by the cold pillows. "(Y/N)?" he called getting up to sit as he yawned and stretched his arms. Turquoise eyes followed the window and he realized that it was the middle of the night. He could see a faint glow in their bedroom and he realized that (Y/N) must be in the nursery.

The ashen-haired male sighed yet again as he got down from the bed. It had now become a nightly routine for him to wake up in the middle of the night to find (Y/N) in the nursery and when he had asked why she hadn't been sleeping early enough she would lie through her teeth and he frowned again for he didn't know why.

"What do you mean? I just woke up 'Haitham" she had told him a few days ago and Al Haitham could clearly see her lying. When on further coaxing (Y/N) repeated the same thing, he left the topic for he didn't want to agitate the young mother any further, their daughter asleep in his arms. He could see how tired she looked and he wondered if (Y/N) had been taking care of her basic needs. Dark circles decorated (Y/N)'s face as she leaned on the windowsill, her body looking frail and he knew she had lost weight, the stress piling up on her. Skipped lunches and late night dinners proof enough for him.

Al Haitham didn't want to coax out a confession for he had already been warned about postpartum depression and thought that she would eventually talk to him...at her own pace...

Nevertheless, here he was yet again awake by the small noises of his crying daughter and he followed into the nursery. However the sight that greeted him was all the confession he needed.

Tears streamed down (Y/N)'s face as she sobbed and hiccupped while cradling the newborn, occasionally wiping her eyes as she cradled and pleaded to their daughter.

"Please sweetie...j-just th-this time please..." she begged as she rocked the infant further, a choked sob flying past her lips.

Al Haitham's eyes widened as he hurried towards his family, taking his daughter in his right arm as he held (Y/N) close to his chest with his left, a zephyr passing by as his daughter and wife cried into his arms and chest. Slowly he rocked their daughter in the stillness of the night, (Y/N)'s chocked sobs echoing through the household as his stroked her hair gently.

Soon enough, the baby was asleep in her father's arms and gently Al Haitham placed her in the cot before taking (Y/N) in his arms as fresh tears flooded her vision yet again

"H-'Haitham..." she whispered as she cried into his arms, pushing her face further into his chest.

"I know aşkım... I know" he placed a kiss on her forehead as his fingers stroked through her (H/C) tresses. Sighing and thanking the Archons that his wife had finally broken down or else she would have never let him know how stressful this was becoming for her.

(Y/N) sobbed quietly all the while Al Haitham held her and when she whispered a small 'I'm sorry', the male frowned as he slowly coaxed her to him.

"I-I couldn't calm h-her and...you wok-"

"No (Y/N)..." He cooed as he held her cheeks, kissing her forehead in reassurance yet again. (Y/N) still sobbed feeling guilty, regret clear in her (E/C) orbs and he hated seeing her tears.

"I knew all along..." and when her eyes widened he told her all about the small nursery he had custom made near his office just so they could be together while he worked at the Akademiya.

"I was the 'Gem of Haravatat' (Y/N), didn't you think I'd notice?" he said as he wiped her tears away with gentle touches. "Semiotics has a lingering psychology to it too... I was just waiting for you to come in terms with your emotions..." and she sighed into his arms yet again, leaning onto his chest as he continued to tell her how he would be on leave for the next few days and when he resumed his duties he would be taking them along to the Akademiya, the arrangements for them customized by Faruzan herself for she was too tired of Nilou complaining to her about his wife's trauma and stubbornness all the time she went to the Grand Bazaar.

And (Y/N) wondered how all the love in her heart was never enough for her husband.

Kissing his daughter for the last time that night, he walked out of the nursery, (Y/N) fast asleep against his chest as he carried her to their room for a good night's rest.

He smiled as he tucked her in before slipping under sheets as he held (Y/N) in his arms that night after a long time. And Al Haitham's world was at peace yet again... The whispers of the winds were the last things he heard before he drifted to a peaceful sleep, his aşkım in his arms.

@teapartyspilled

[rayclubs]

Which tf2 merc do you think gets mischaracterized the least?

Good question! Let's do a rating.

In my opinion, there are three aspects to characterizing someone.

Facts - you have to get basic character backstory right. This includes all objective canon truths, events, and, well, facts about said character.

Behavior - you need to understand how the character acts, how their interpersonal relationships function, what they're like in their day-to-day life. This is the nitty-gritty of fanfic and fanart, this is dialogue, line-to-line characterization.

Integrity - you need to understand the character's core beliefs and principles, what their values are and how they view the world around them. This isn't something you can easily quote or point to as a mistake in fanfic, it's more of an overall idea of a character.

Each of these is going to be worth up to three points, with zero for terrible characterization that gets everything wrong. This would ideally total to nine points. I'll be awarding an additional bonus point for character interpretation that doesn't make me scream "he would not fucking say that". Let's go.

Scout:

His backstory is fairly simple. He has an absent father, half a dozen siblings, and a crush on his boss who doesn't reciprocate. People mostly get this right, except they also call him a virgin despite the fact he canonically lands the fried chicken queen, and seems to do it with ease. 2/3.

His behavior is also mostly portrayed accurately, in that he's loud, obnoxious, self-absorbed, and can be kind of a dick, though not completely without endearing qualities. The fandom is, admittedly, guilty of making him more insecure and self-conscious than he actually is, to amp up the drama. 2/3.

His core values, however, are completely off. The main interpretations I see of him are "depressed Scout", "homophobic Scout", and "baby Scout", neither of which is true to his character. This is a grown man with a force-a-nature complex. The homophobia is just projection and internalized prejudice, but that phenomena is too complicated for me to dissect here. I talked about it before and might make another post later. Anyway, 0/3.

Scout does not get a bonus point. He would not fucking say "poggers" but he would say "daddy-o".

Overall characterization score: 4/10

Soldier:

Very little is known about Soldier's backstory so there isn't really any room to be wrong about it. What we do know is also vague and unreliable, so it's open to interpretation. Given how little room for error there is, I'll give him a 3/3.

His behavior is completely off in most cases, often shown to either be overly aggressive or so dumb you start to question how this man functions in his day-to-day life. Canon Soldier has plenty of endearingly stupid moments but a lot of them can be read as deadpan jokes on the character's part, and many turn out to be secretly clever moments, such as him infiltrating the robot base with a goofy cardboard disguise. Likewise, canon Soldier has plenty of aggressive and mean moments, but he's not cruel and very clearly not a threat to his teammates, which isn't captured at all in fanworks that decide to go that way. 0/3.

Soldier's core ideals are mostly captured well, as in - yeah, he calls people communist as an insult in fanfics. I feel like he should mention God more often than he does in fanon, it's, like, one of the two ideologically meaningful things he ever talks about. The importance of "America" as a concept to him is mostly preserved but left unexplored. 2/3.

Soldier does not get a bonus point, he would not fucking say [homophobic slur] yet here we fucking are.

Overall characterization score: 5/10

Pyro:

His backstory is nonexistent yet people still fuck it up. His technical knowledge is clearly extensive and impressive, as shown by the complexity of his weaponry - which, mind you, looks HAND MADE - but people treat him as if he's altogether incompetent and maniacally stupid all the time always. He also ran an engineering company for hell knows how long and people just forget about it because they're allergic to adults or something. God this pisses me off so much. I mean for fuck's sake, people act like his full job description is "Pyromaniac" and not "Pyrotechnician". I'm so tired. 0/3.

His day-to-day characterization and dialogue is also completely off. People treat him as if he's INCAPABLE of communication, make him obsess over childish things he's only shown a moderate liking to in a manner that's borderline creepy and insulting, and take away his whole entire agency in everything he ever does. I will literally not give y'all a single point, you do my man Pyro so dirty. 0/3.

His ideology is complex and vague in canon, and I don't blame people for getting confused by such things as Pyrovision, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. In my time on Ao3 I've seen animal Pyro, cryptid Pyro, monster Pyro, alien Pyro, evil mindless maniac Pyro, incompetent baby Pyro, nonbinary Pyro (HENCE MY PROBLEM WITH THE HEADCANON, do you see how it looks next to all these other interpretations?) but I've rarely, if ever, seen competent adult Pyro with actual hopes and dreams and agency. 0/3.

Pyro does not get a bonus point because he would not fucking say "uwu" but he would say "fuck", let Pyro say fuck.

Overall characterization score: 0/10 are you fucking surprised

Demoman:

Oh poor lad what have they done to you. So, Demo's backstory is arguably the most detailed and fleshed-out in the entire canon. Too bad nobody fucking read it. Admittedly, in the recent years I've seen people mostly manage to remember he has several jobs and is overall a competent and successful man, but it's rarely - if ever - explored, I've seen exactly one fic where the author bothered to explore what one of his other jobs might be (and it was not a good fic for many other reasons, don't ask me for a link), and it honestly feels like people don't want to dwell on it? Like, they mostly mention it to fill a quota, y'know? Here, I'm not racist, I've acknowledged one of this character's achievements, leave me alone. Also the subject of him being fucking adopted as a kid never comes up. 0/3.

His day-to-day characterization suffers a lot because people think alcoholism is the most morally repugnant thing that can ever happen to a human being. This man honestly barely even has a presence in the fics he's in. Are you wondering where Demo is? Well, he wasn't there! He was BUSY! He couldn't come! There is a handful of writers who bother to write his actual inner monologue and point of view, and this point goes out to them only. Also there was a pretty good Boots and Bombs fic in which Demo was a dick to Soldier but then got better, and it stuck with me. 1/3.

His core character is fucked up by fandom because he's either all flaws or not allowed to have any flaws, and there's no in-between. Ever since I joined the fandom I've seen a lot of critique floating around, and people mostly seem to listen and realize they've been mistreating the man for long enough, but it created a whole separate problem of Perfect Demoman which is bland and boring. People don't want to write an offensive caricature but don't feel like fleshing him out either, so they just make him great at everything and never let him fail and grown in ways that are meaningful. Except that one fic I mentioned earlier, but I've already awarded a point for that. 0/3.

Demo does not get a bonus point. I couldn't find a meaningful example of bad dialogue because, like I said, he has no presence in any of the fics he's in. He would fucking say something.

Overall characterization score: 1/10 and honestly it's too generous on my part.

Heavy:

Okay so Heavy's backstory really confuses people. I've got like a dozen asks in my inbox when I called his father a revolutionary AND a counter-revolutionary. Wait till I call him a royalist, it'll blow your tits clean off. I don't feel like explaining the history of the communist regime in the USSR on this post, let's just say people are mostly faithful to canon but don't really "get" Heavy. 2/3.

His day-to-day characterization is plain bad. He's treated like a mother hen to the mercs when he's more of a stoic friend with a mean streak and a crude sense of humor. I think the main problem is the dialogue, people just can't give him the dignity of speaking in an intelligent manner. It's honestly also pretty bad in the comics. 1/3.

His core ideals are fine, if oversimplified. He's not a complicated man, he loves his family, his guns and his doctor. People rarely give him any more depth than that but it's not offensive to his character or anything. I feel like he should have more political opinions than people give him. I also feel like people make him way more protective of Zhanna's romantic pursuits, to a creepy degree. I mean, yes, he's annoyed by her marrying Soldier, and seems horrified for a brief second, but it's not like he's against it or anything, he's just kinda surprised? Anyway, 2/3.

Heavy does not get a bonus point because he would not fucking say "da". Pizda.

Overall characterization score: 5/10

Engineer:

Yeah people mostly get him. He's got 11 Ph. Ds. Some treat him like he grew up as an actual cowboy or something but most remember he's a nerd. I'd actually give all the points here because Engie's backstory is NOT complicated. 3/3.

His dialogue and day-to-day characterization is also okay, though people really mellow him down a lot. I had a bit in one of my fics where he said something like "let's teach those sumbitches how the real killin' is done" and like three different people commented on it saying they liked or were surprised by his mean energy. It's not even that mean, I think it kinda shows my problem with his interpretation. 2/3.

I asked about mischaracterization once and a lot of people replied "Engie is the most mischaracterized because people treat him like he's good but he's actually evil" which I think pretty much covers it? It's hard to write someone who is not implicitly strictly good or strictly evil. Engie treads this balance really well, I'm actually convinced his demeanor is not a facade, he is nice at times and mean when he wants to be. Fanon Engie can only be one of two things and neither is right. 0/3.

Engie gets a bonus point as an exception. I actually can't tell why, people just have his voice on-point. Is his accent and manner of speaking really that easy for you? I struggle to write him a lot. I think he should say "bitch" more.

Overall characterization score: 6/10

Medic:

People focus on the fact he lost his medical license more than on the fact he HAD a medical license in the first place. Other than that he really doesn't have a backstory. I dislike that people try to give him a sad one, I think he grew up loved and maybe even a little spoiled, but I can't fault others for not following my headcanons, so. 2/3.

His dialogue is the WORST because it's written phonetically. His goofy yet self-confident energy isn't captured well at all. The best I can put this is "people wife him" but it sounds kinda mysogynistic so really I'm at a loss. Submissivepilled breedablemaxxer. 0/3.

His core values are also all over the place. The complicated thing about writing Medic is that he actually doesn't come with pre-packaged drama. His backstory is vague, his demeanor is optimistic, his vibes are fun, and the worst thing that happened to him in canon was working with the classics for a bit - people amp it up to squeeze hurt out of it, which is fine, but not many people actually like going there. Thing is, fanfic writers aren't that good at writing drama when it hasn't been established before. They have to warp his character, make him edgy, self-conscious, or plain mad evil without redeeming qualities. I remember really struggling with my big Medic fic because I wanted it to be dramatic but had to put a lot of work into actually building up the emotion, because Medic is fine. He's fine. He's alright. He's fine. He's doing well. 0/3.

Medic does NOT get a bonus point, he would not fucking say "babygirl" and I'm not even sure if he would say "yass queen slay" I'm SORRY

Overall characterization score: 2/10

Sniper:

People mostly get his backstory right, probably because it's the most well-explained in the comics and it gets the most "screentime". It's also literally a Superman parody which is funny and memorable in concept. 3/3.

People can't find a good balance between stoic professionalism and social anxiety. I think Sniper is actually pretty simple, in that he's a little self-conscious which pushes him to actively better himself as a professional, but also makes him a little awkward so he comes across as standoffish and a little mean. He's a solid bloke that's balanced and feels real. Fandom has to go for the extreme every goddamn time with him. It sucks. 0/3.

People kind of get his drama, his relationship with his family and whatnot - mostly because a lot of us losers can relate, I bet - but, again, go for the extreme in making him anxious, whiny, and sad as a wet kitten. Unless it's a porn fic in which case he's an absolute freak that growls at people. I don't know what it is about Sniper that makes him so difficult to characterize. Manic pixie dream boy. Dark and moody lover love me like no other. 0/3.

Sniper does NOT get a bonus point because he doesn't say "cunt" nearly as often as he should. Also send me asks about my Sniper takes I want to stir up some shit.

Overall characterization score: 3/10.

Spy:

The only piece of his backstory we actually know is that he fathered the blight of the earth that is Scout TF2. 3/3.

His obnoxious and insufferable demeanor is mostly captured well. A lot of his portrayals aren't nearly as classy as people think they are, but that's because most authors are themselves proletarian, myself included, which is fine. Not many make the effort to pepper his speech with French words it would actually be natural for him to say, and blame it on the nonsensical complexity of the French language, but I'm not buying it as an excuse. 2/3.

His core values are off in regards to Scout - he's often portrayed as soft, mellow, overbearing, and critical of Scout's love life to either a comical or an uncomfortable degree. His fandom portrayal often also lacks the self-confidence he's demonstrated in the comics. Spy is not above strangling a man with a chain that holds the shackles around his ankles, he wouldn't consider it a blow to his dignity to fuck any of his coworkers either, come on. He's also funny and goofy but the fandom tends to neglect that. 1/3.

Spy does not get a bonus point because he would not say "perchance" but he would say "your mother".

Overall characterization score: 6/10

The final scores are:

Spy - 6/10

Engineer - 6/10

Heavy - 5/10

Soldier - 5/10

Scout - 4/10

Sniper - 3/10

Medic - 2/10

Demoman - 1/10

Pyro - 0/10

There we go! Pyro is the most mischaracterized, Demoman is a close second, and nobody is characterized well. Cheers!

[toranesu]

ur kafka and blade post had my mind running sm. so i had this rlly nasty thought abt fucking them in some tight space while they're on a mission. like, even if the mission was urgent, who were they to say no to your greediness?

anon i love you for this i would 100% grope blade's ass or stare at kafka's crotch while fighting like hello??? sir, ma'am, i'm gonna need some time to control my cock (i got too into this and made it too long mb 💀)

sub bottom blade + sub bottom kafka x dom top gn reader | cw. semi-public sex, groping, reader is a greedy pervert, polyamory relationship, amab reader but cock can be interpreted as strap, riding, squirting, supposedly a quickie.

"enjoying the view, gorgeous?" she gives you a smug smile, right as she killed off an enemy. of course kafka would be the first to notice it. your eyes glued on her crotch while she shoots those antimatter engions and voidrangers. the way her chest bounces when she moves— isn't she just riling you up on purpose at this point?

you shrug in response and follow blade into the next room. you had been appointed by elio to go on a mission in herta's space station, to invade the control room and find some sort of information, to be exact. you didn't really get any of the details, but said yes anyway cuz why would anyone say no to spending time with their not one, but two sexy lovers.

it has been a while since the three of you last fucked, now that you think of it. no wonder you're so pent up... another enemy shows up, blade's taking care of it. the way his ass is just glaring at you from behind, his perfectly curved waist, his chest— why is it so big? he's gotta be at least a D cup.

the enemy dies and you can't help yourself. before you realize it, your hand lands on blade's ass, squeezing the soft, refined mound of flesh. you didn't mean to! you were going to hold his waist and praise him for his technique... really!

blade flinches at your touch, his face heating up while his body tenses. you- right now, seriously? that's basically what's going on in his mind. he wants to react but, your hand on his ass does feel nice.

"ah? having fun without me? that's mean," kafka approaches, closing and locking the door behind her. "you aren't hogging them for yourself, are you bladie?" she hums, looking at the two of you, precisely with your hand still on blade's ass.

blade flushes and looks at her with a frown, attempting to defend himself. "no i-" you cut him off, pulling kafka by her waist and wrapping kissing her neck (which she willingly exposed to you).

"come on, let me have my fun. we haven't done it in ages. i'm suffering out here, y'know?" you groan, it being slightly muffled by the fact that you're basically smothering yourself in kafka's neck. she smells nice.

blade leans into you, pulling your arm from his ass to around his waist as well. kafka smiles at you, ruffling your hair fondly, "yeah? missed us, didn't you?" fuck, she's always so smug. it's so weakening and so.. arousing. makes you want to put her in her place, doesn't it? she knows it and she loves it.

"we're in a secluded area," blade finally lets out his voice, letting out soft breaths, his hand resting on yours while your arm is around his waist. "everyone must have retreated by now. i want to.." he mumbles, a bit quiet but loud enough for you and kafka to hear.

blade had never been so vocal about his wants and needs, so the fact that he's admitting it at all must mean he's been all pent up too. how cute.

"aw, blade," you coo, letting go of your hand on kafka's waist and putting it on blade's cheek, kissing his lips endearingly. he lets out a low moan at your affection, his hand still on yours.

kafka smiles endearingly at the two of you before sighing loudly, getting in the middle of you. "no more stalling. i've been waiting on this too. i'm waiting for one of you to fuck me already, you know?"

"sorry bladie, you don't mind me going first, right?" kafka lets out a heavy breath, her walls clamping down on you. she's so warm and tight... oh how you missed this.

it's not really efficient to fuck in the storage room of someone else's space station, but you'll take it. you're sitting down leaning against the wall, kafka with her clothes discarded sitting on your dick, tits looking bouncy and magnificent, her eyes half lidded while she bounces on your cock—blade's leaning on your shoulder, your hand on his dick, he's moaning softly as your hand rubs his leaking slit. fuck, this is heavenly.

kafka is having the time of her life. she absolutely adores riding you, your dick reaches the deepest parts of her, brushing against her cervix everytime you thrust inside. she enjoys the way you're under her, moaning as she makes you feel good.

but you only have a limited size of self control, using your other hand to grip kafka's hip and thrust inside her, making her moan loudly in ecstasy. you're deep inside her, the way your dick drags in and out her soaking pussy— ahh, she can't get enough of this.

"fuck, if- if we weren't on an urgent mission i would've loved to eat you out before this, kaf," you breathe out between moans, she's so warm and welcoming, your dick could melt inside her (or maybe she's just a whore).

kafka laughs breathily, holding your shoulder and groaning as she pushes herself down on you. "ah, y-yeah? what makes you think i'd let you?" always so cocky. dumb brat needs to be put in her place.

you kiss blade's cheek before letting go of his weeping cock, both your hands grabbing kafka's hips and slamming her down on you repeatedly. she lets out loud moans, her legs trembling and her toes curling. "what a fucking brat. so cocky when all you want is my dick. aren't you just my whore, princess?" you groan, continuing to fuck into her like a madman.

she can't even make a snarky reply at that point. her whole body is trembling, her tits bouncing, she's squealing and moaning, drool slipping past her mouth. but then your hand reaches to squeeze one of her breasts before pinching her clit— fuck. she throws her head back and squirts all over you, leaving you soaking wet from her fluids.

you groan at the sight and give her a kiss on the lips before pulling out of her, earning a dissapointed sigh as you lean her down on the wall next to you. kafka's had her fun, now you gotta take care of your neglected sweet boy right beside you. blade's panting at the sight, already stretching himself out for you and mewling when he feels your eyes on him.

he's waited all this long and even prepared himself for you! what a good boy. you kiss blade's swollen lips, poor boy must've been biting back his moans to not disturb you and kafka. he's so sweet.

"blade," you coo, brushing the hair out of his face. he lets out a small 'mm' at your voice, letting you hold his hips while he straddles you. he blushes lightly and holds your still hard dick, aligning it with his stretched out hole. he needs you, he needs you bad.

you rub circles on his hip as he steadily sinks himself down on your cock, breathing heavily and scrunching his eyes at the feeling that he oh so craved. he moans when you're fully inside him, leaning his head on your shoulder and letting out heavy breaths, adjusting to your size.

you kiss the top of his head and run your fingers through his hair, your other hand rubbing circles on his hip. "there we go, good boy. doing so good for me, yeah?" you whisper, soothing him as he moans at your words, lightly rolling his hips against yours. "take your time to adjust, move when you're ready, okay?" you remind him. the mission was urgent; sure, as much as this should be a quickie, you can't just force your dick in someone's hole!

after a short while, blade starts moving, rolling his hips against yours steadily before starting to bounce up and down your cock. he whimpers and moans, trying to keep his voice down— unlike someone who couldn't even bother (not like you could either). this takes you back to the first time you had sex with him, he's so shy, so quiet, holding in his voice. it's so so adoring, you think.

you pepper kisses onto blade's chest and collarbone, letting him fuck himself on you while you hold his hips to help steady him. he looks so pretty when he's breathless above you like this— both him and kafka do.

"so pretty, blade," you groan out, nipping his jaw while he continues to bounce on you, matching your thrusts. he really was ethereal... eyes half lidded, mouth parted open. you can't get enough of this.

you gotta end things fast though, the mission's still important. kafka had gotten you close to your climax already so now you're even closer, feeling your dick twitch in blade.

you kiss blade's shoulder softly, fucking into him while your other hand reaches towards his neglected cock. blade mewls as he feels you stroke his dick, getting him close to his own ejaculation. your hips nor his stop thrusting, your hand stroking his dick at the same pace.

"cumming– hng, i'm c-cumming," blade slurrs, nipping onto your shoulder and moaning, his dick twitching in your hold.

you kiss the shell of his ear, whispering, "cum for me, blade." and with that, he releases in your hand, his walls clenching around you tightly as he moans in ecstasy.

"good boy," you kiss blade's sweaty forehead before getting him off of you, sitting him down next to you and palming yourself, chasing your own release.

"hello?? kafka? blade? [name]? where are you? did you get the stuff?" the voice of a familiar hacker reaches your ears.

you curse under your breath, "oh fuck."

[thescreaminghat]

Watching Tf Cybertron atm and Starscream feels so different than his Armada and Energon counterparts---first of all, the guy is built different, first ep he launches himself out of a warp gate at autobot hq, fights 5 members of the main cast at once, says "bon voyage 😜" after sending Landmine flying towards the black hole slowly devouring cybertron, refuses to elaborate, and leaves. Turns out he was just a distraction for megatron?? He could have taken out everyone the way he was fighting, and in subsequent missions he's still a menace. Megatron has like, zero decepticons at this point so starscream (and sometimes thundercracker, who is significantly smaller in alt mode cuz for some reason he decided to scan a regular earth jet instead of keeping his cytronian alt mode like screamer, who probably didn't even bother solely because of pride) is the only one who he can regularly count on. Because it usually ends up being a 2v6 starscream ends up fighting optimus sometimes, and he's actually not bad! instead of a default null ray he has fucking null cannons and he just starts blasting at the guy. even though he cant outright beat him, he can also solo prime in 1v1 hand to hand combat while shit talking the entire time. He cuts through op's super mode attack like it's nothing. He's strong enough to stop both optimus and vector prime from escaping just by grabbing them. AND he's still a smart, endearingly conniving bastard. There's also this one scene where he's fighting optimus, and when they're at risk of being discovered by humans he goes "let's call it a night. You're a lousy dancer anyways 😒" like what the fuck was that. Was he flirting with prime?? Bro literally could have said anything else but chose something so suggestive (to me). This mf is literally perfect in every way