#and they're power rangers which makes it really funny

[beanghostprincess]

if i hear the vinsmoke name again i swear to fucking god i'll start world war iii against them

[level2janitor]

The Tactiquest Bard

Play tactiquest here!

bards are a fun, oddball character concept you mostly only see in heavily D&D-influenced media - there's not a whole lot of mythological or literary analogues for bards like there are for fighters, wizards, thieves, rangers, etc etc.

they're kind of goofy, almost. a lot of older D&D-adjacent media had them as a joke, or perceived as one - probably the most influential bard character in media is Edward from final fantasy 4, a character whose most memorable ability is that when his health gets low he runs and hides like a coward. not the best look for a class.

so when i set out to design one for tactiquest, these were the design goals and influences i set out to capture:

i think better bard analogues - rather than characters who are explicitly bards and explicitly jokes - are fictional characters who are the emotional heart of their group, the glue that keeps their party together. as the social class, bards should lean into that - this is the power-of-friendship class!

they should be kind of goofy! it's part of the bard identity by this point, and i think it's part of the appeal. not useless, but useful in a way that's more lighthearted or funny than badass.

they're not mages! bards are one of the ways you can play someone close to a normal person who's in over their head on an adventure. you can spec into a few low-level spells if you want, but most of the bard's power is much less flashy.

so here's the end result:

social abilities: tactiquest has no social rules, which is a little bit of a hurdle for a class designed around social interaction - i can't just slap on a big bonus to persuasion checks and call it a day. instead their social abilities change the dynamic of a conversation - you can tease out the emotions of others, learn what social levers a person has for you to leverage, or just undo something stupid you said.

support: because bards tend to take up more session time in social situations, their combat abilities are largely about putting that spotlight on other characters by increasing their effectiveness - the bard themselves doesn't get a ton of "wow, i'm really badass!" moments. most of their combat perks are more about evasion and narrowly escaping danger than actively fighting.

opportune escape lets you be a damsel in distress being rescued by your friends! and also lets you be edward from final fantasy 4. it might be my favorite perk here

another throughline for the support abilities was i wanted them to be the sort of thing that makes the other players go "wow, i'm glad we have this bard around" because that's kinda important for the being-the-emotional-heart-of-the-group thing i wanted them to lean into

[tvmigraine]

Disney (Almost) Made an Anniversary Kamen Rider

You remember during the 2000s where Disney owned Power Rangers? It wasn't a bad era in terms of what was put out, but maybe I'm bias because I grew up with it. Running from Ninja Storm to RPM, Disney had a troubling run with the show - the quality was good for a kid's show, but Disney did not like making it. It's not a secret that they were trying to bury Power Rangers, the show only continuing after RPM because it was bought back by Saban. It doesn't feel like a coincidence they sold back Power Rangers less than a year after buying Marvel Entertainment.

And ever since, Disney has had no interest in Tokusatsu as a genre. You could argue the closest they ever came was Mech-X4, a Disney XD show about a kid controlling a giant robot to save his town.

Then rolls around the 100th anniversary. Tokusatsu is still as popular as ever in Japan and, while Super Sentai isn't as popular as it used to be, Kamen Rider has been going strong ever since it's revival in the Heisei Era.

If Disney wanna make money in Tokusatsu, it makes sense to put it in Kamen Rider.

This is the Imagination Belt. It was released last month and, honestly, I'm glad I got back into Kamen Rider in time to see the strangest anniversary celebration yet. It was produced by Bandai and I won't pretend this is officially a Kamen Rider product - it's made by the same company, but that's not enough to call it that.

But it sure takes a lot of the beats!

As a person who has previously rambled about a non-existent canon surrounding a Sonic Screwdriver toy, I really appreciate that this gives me more to talk about inherently. Kamen Rider historically has been getting more and more Riders with every era of the show and this toy is no different - ten different Disney icons made into marketable... keys... how did they not do Sora-

Nevermind, I'm glad they didn't.

The designs aren't great, I won't pretend they are, if you're a fan of Kamen Rider. It's clear the character designs were leaning closer to Kingdom Hearts (or even Spectrobes, if you remember that), so it's hard to judge them in terms of your typical Tokusatsu outfit. That being said, the consistency of the goggles does imply something about this uniform - if it's as important as the belt to be included on everyone, that's notable.

There's also a notable detail with the Imagination Belt itself - the Keys. Half of them are Gold, half of them are Silver, inherently splitting the team of Riders (Imaginators? Imagineers? Disney Adults?) in half. It implies simply that the goals of all the Riders don't align, that perhaps they're in a battle.

The Character Selection is also brought to mind. I imagine it's based on multiple factors, like popularity in that area and inclusion of specific brands... but that doesn't stop them being weird. Including specific representatives for Marvel, Lucasfilms and Pixar absolutely make sense - the choice of Woody is textbook. Iron Man equally makes sense, but the design has him look (personally) more like Lightning McQueen, which may just be a flaw of similar colour schemes.

But Grogu? Ya coulda picked anyone from Star Wars and... I get that The Mandalorian is probably the best received in pop culture... but the implications that he's getting his powers from a space baby is quite funny.

NOTE: The specific split of teams is Gold Keys belong to Mickey, Minnie, Simba, Woody and Iron Man - Silver Keys belong to Snow White, Moana, Tiana, Elsa and Grogu.

They also have built in power-up modes, specifically "Full Max" which seems to grant a power boost based on related characters - Mickey's Full Max gets help from Donald, Goofy and Pluto, meanwhile Simba has Timon and Pumbaa for example. But in your typical Tokusatsu, if your power-up involves other iconography, that tends to involve beating monsters. Are the monsters for "Imagination Belt" other Disney characters? Were Donald and Goofy evil beasts that had to be defeated? Did Woody have to beat Buzz Lightyear and the other Toys-Turned-Monsters? Minnie's Full Max is her with a cat, did Minnie Mouse have to fight a CAT?!

But onto the Lore Implications...

There's easily enough here to build an insane fanfiction, as you're about to see, but this does continue a point that I really appreciate about toys - kids, collectibles, whatever you want. You can tell your own story and it's not even difficult. Everyone has inherent creativity and, given a small amount of time, you can make any story out of any objects.

Case in point...

"Imagination Belt", to me, feels like Ryuki or Geats - it is a Rider War (Disney Adult War) where these two factions of "heroes" are fighting. It's probably against each other, Gold vs Silver, but you can imagine there are other monsters in between as your usual plot hooks.

The "Riders" of this world likely have their powers from raw imagination - passion for something that manifests in the Keys, giving them power in return. If the imagination becomes twisted.

Based on appearances, the Iron Man and Grogu Riders probably are leading both teams, the conflict started by the both of them and spiraling from there. Mickey is the obvious protagonist, Grogu looks like he'd make a good rival to keep the protagonist moving forward.

And there may be only ten official keys but Disney is an all-consuming black hole of creativity. There could be a lot more and you know it.

[pinkestmenace]

sending a few more in!!! i most like to hear about olympea, but if you want to answer for someone else feel free!!

1. 🎶: What is a song that you associate with your OC, and why do you associate it with them? (i know you have a lot of really cool and thoughtful playlists, you could share more than one song here if you like!!!)

24. 😴: If your OC could pick one of the Star Allies Dream Friends to go on an adventure with them, who would they pick and why?

11. 🐾: If there was a Forgotten Land copy ability upgrade themed after your OC, which ability would it be for? What would the hat for it look like and how would it upgrade the base ability?

Ask game

Alright. *Cracks knuckles* ∥Ξﾛ(-ÒᴗÓ- )ﾛΞ∥ Here we go!

1. 🎶: What is a song that you associate with your OC, and why do you associate it with them?

My Olympea playlist unfortunately isn't as developed as my 4.5 hour Galacta Knight playlist. (Spotify only recommends me metal anymore. I'm not complaining, but it does make finding other genres difficult.) But I do have some songs in mind!

Power Of The Beast (Beast In Black)

This one's kinda funny. I first misheard the lyrics as Power of the Pea. And while not all the lyrics are relevant, I think the somewhat bombastic style mixed with bright sounds and Eurobeat influences is close to how I'd like her armoured battle theme to sound.

Feel Invincible (Skillet)

This one is more for the four heroes together from Galacta Knight's perspective. Even when he feels down and out they're on his side. Especially this part:

You make me feel invincible Earthquake, powerful (Olympea) Just like a tidal wave (Aegle) You make me brave You're my titanium (Castor & Pollux)

Sideshow Duckling (Mili)

Olympea and Galacta Knight. Who is the performer and who's the partner I'll leave ambiguous. Galacta (So swan-coded to begin with!) buckling under the pressure of always having to perform and look perfect, yet never feeling authentic? Olympea secretly feeling like she'll never be good enough even when her friends praise her, until she sheds that self-doubt? It could be both, really! Also: tentative voice claim, at least in pitch. Although she would be quite a bit louder!

24. 😴: If your OC could pick one of the Star Allies Dream Friends to go on an adventure with them, who would they pick and why?

Olympea: She would go with King Dedede. Strong hammer buddies! Wrestling liker! Receiving strange vibes that may or may not be either precognitive or "normal" zoning out and daydreams! High jumps!

Castor & Pollux: Cyborg and mech aficionado that he is, Castor would be very interested in Susie's Business Suit! Whether he and Susie get along is another story. They might enter a feedback loop of trying to passive-agressively outpolite and out-shoot each other. Pollux is definitely not jealous. If it was sentient. (Which it totally isn't.)

Aegle: They would like to meet Magolor and Marx. To talk about magic, sure, and to investigate Marx's vines. I'm sure Magolor would be very interested in what they have to say about Halcandra as well. But they have a mischievous streak, too. The three of them would rile each other up! Woe to anyone in their blast range!

11. 🐾: If there was a Forgotten Land copy ability upgrade themed after your OC, which ability would it be for? What would the hat for it look like and how would it upgrade the base ability?

Sticking to the existing abilities in KatFL, it would be:

Olympea: Hammer! Except it'd be her club and helmet. It would probably be a little unwieldy like Wild Hammer, though.

Castor: This one's hard! There's no Mech ability, and Homing Bomb already exists. He could turn the bombs into missiles, of course. Or maybe Ranger. A bit like Space Ranger, but with a fighter pilot helmet and a flying drone that helps you. Or Cutter, or...

Aegle: Ice! It's a snow cloud with floating icicles that home in on the enemy when you attack. Its shape resembles their mage hat.

[kimberlyannharts]

LAST TIME ON RANGER ACADEMY: Turns out Sage wasn't the only one with a tragic backstory, as Tula had an older sister from the Academy, a Green Ranger, who died in a shuttle crash with her entire class (you know, for kids!). Unfortunately if there's one thing Dark Specter loves it's the angst from a tragic backstory, so now he's here. Sage is going to need the power of every dead dad and dead sister that ever stepped foot in the Green Campus to beat him!

It's Ranger Academy #8!

= Is Lindy blushing in that second panel because that's just confirming to me this scene is gay as hell and Sage/Lindy WILL dodge the sisterzoning allegations and they WILL be canon!!!!!!!!!!!!

= That being said we couldn't go this issue without some classic red/green gays as well

= Yeah Lindy's definitely going to end up Blue

= well I guess if it's that easy

= Okay Katie I love you but what are you doing here. What is your position in this school. In a later scene she orders the Pink Sirian Ranger around which has me like???????? What is the hierarchy here!!!!!!!!

= Also Mathis isn't so much a "yellow ranger" as they are a......yellow ochre ranger. Especially when they're right next to Katie's suit like that

= Technicalities like "so what does this mean about Greens on other teams" or "what about non-MMPR colors" aside, I do think the explanation for why the Green Campus is closed and why the Academy refuses to talk about it is good (which we'll get to later on). But this whole thing does make me realize we have no explanation for how Dark Specter is like. still around. Especially now that we're confirming this isn't meant to be tying into the main series and he's popping in from that timeline. He's just. Still a thing. Over 3000 years after he died. BOOM I need you to stop acting like Dark Specter is a bigger deal than he really was. He died when a spaceship exploded on him

= This scene is really good and I'm glad Sage and Lindy aren't going to have a dramatic friend breakup over this situation but I do kind of wish Lindy had responded to the whole "MAYBE I'M EVIL BECAUSE I'M GREEN" with "dude, why was that the first conclusion you came to. it's literally just a color"

= Kind of a skill issue by the Academy to not realize the kid was infected like. We know what infected people look like from Darkest Hour; how did they miss the glowing red eyes and the black veins and their speech balloons being all gray and wobbly

= Speaking of Darkest Hour, as stated, we know from that and Power Rangers Universe that possession by Dark Specter isn't a death sentence. But I do have to admit even just the characters believing it is makes the whole concept a lot darker than it was it both of those series. Which is funny considering this is the book marketed more for kids

= Don't make that face while brushing off a student's death by another student's hands Headmaster people might start to think you're evil or something

= also hi Baby Sage

= god forbid girls do anything

[joemerl]

I'm watching the Eragon movie after rereading the book this year.

It's kind of more enjoyable, sometimes because its changes legitimately improve things but usually because they stray into So Bad It's Good territory.

Durza is still generic af, but Galby is delightfully narmy.

Sloan feels more like an actual character, and the idea that the Spine is considered royal property is a lot simpler than "Sloan's wife died there because it's cursed, maybe, but Eragon can go in there because shut up."

"All hail Eragon, the mighty hunter!" And just like that, the movie makes Roran and Eragon feel more like brothers than Paolini managed in the first two books. Also, they're eight-year-old dorks in teenage bodies.

Sass-master Arya.

I am both annoyed and amused that the Urgals are just burly guys. They give them a little face makeup, but still.

Not really feeling Saphira's voice. I just imagined it huskier.

Durza summons the Ra'zac from the ground like Power Rangers villains. WTF (affectionate).

Eragon figures out that Brom was a Dragon Rider! And just like that, he's outstripped book!Eragon's supposed brilliance.

Arya is awake when she meets Eragon. Makes for a less awkward romantic arc. Also she just says she's a princess, so again, kudos on the screenwriters for not bothering with the obvious twists.

I think there's a passing line about dwarves and elves, but Arya is ostensibly human. There are some guys in the Varden who are clearly supposed to be dwarves but never referred to as such.

Why does the spell for dragon vision let Eragon see through walls? And why does the fire spell make things levitate?

"I expected someone a little more...well, more." Is this line actually clever, or do I just enjoy Eragon getting dunked on?

The whole thing with Brom flying on Saphira as he dies is kind of nice. It would have worked better if they mentioned that Saphira was named after his own dragon, though.

Murtagh is weird, because he acts totally different than book!Murtagh and is introduced with a different backstory. He even offers to lead Eragon to the Varden, which is directly opposed to his motivation in the book. But canon reasserts itself once they get there, so you're left wondering why he chose to do this.

Murtagh's prison cell, incidentally, appears to be a cage left out in the open.

I said Galby was funny, but how many scenes do we need where he's just whispering threats at Durza?

In the books, there are moments where I feel like Eragon has more chemistry with Nasuada than he ever has with Arya. Given the gratuitous "walking in one him shirtless" scene, I feel like the screenwriters agree.

Most of the clothes are Generic Medieval Drab, but then there was one costume designer who was like "NO! Shiny and exotic!"

One change I don't like: Saphira breathing fire before the battle starts is supposed to be cool, ooh-she's-badass-now, but sorry, having her dramatically do that at the end of the battle to save Eragon's life is much better.

So Durza summoned the Ra'zac from the ground, and now he summoned the Lethrblaka from Saphira's fire? somehow? Is it supposed to be made of smoke?

They're not very well done, but the script is trying to give Eragon some arcs that he doesn't have in the book. Some of it is generic "I don't want to be the Chosen One" stuff, but there's also this idea that he might get Saphira killed, like Brom with his dragon, augmented by the fact that Brom's death is kind of Eragon's fault in this version.

Speaking of which, the hell you letting Eragon think Saphira is dead, Murtagh? It's not just a jerk move, it's also out of character. Murtagh is not jokey, either in this movie or the book.

I was gonna say that the final scene is desperately trying to convince us that Eragon and Arya have chemistry, but I actually don't think it's trying that hard.

*watching the credits* That random guy who looked like a dwarf but was never referred to as a dwarf was supposed to be Hrothgar? I assumed it was Orik. He didn't seem to be a king or anything.

[lordkingsmith]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers 💜

thank you for the ask! :)

I have these frankly amazing coconut crisp cookies that go with just about any tea I own as well as coffee and I buy two bags a month at the store because I made the mistake sharing them with my family and now it's a free for all frenzy for these things lol. they're some of the best cookies I've had store bought and are just pure joy. perfect snack for cloudy days

mentally tried pairing the just dance rangers with actual power rangers in my head according to the personalities assigned and got such a clear image of Nick heckling and getting punched in the face by Jack Rose. I laughed so loud I nearly woke up my nephew last night. I gotta put it in the fic now lol. it occured to me Jack's got red-orange in his outfits, while Nick's straight red, and they have the same shade of purple. the two probably will not get along, but the image of them clashing is so funny to me and definitely getting a consistent laugh and making me happy lol. Nick needs someone like Jack I think. and Jack definitely needs a Nick. where are we without our rivals am I right?

I can no longer wear normal piercings in my ears. so I have been converting all my current earrings to clip ons where possible. I need to buy more clip ons but guess who found the last two clip ons in their jewelry kit? this dude. I converted my sushi and chopstick earrings to clip ons and am planning on wearing them when I go see a friend this weekend. the utter joy these earrings bring

one of the two things with meat in/on them my nephew will eat is a pretzel dog. Without fail, if I've got nothing else, he gets a pretzel dog yogurt and apples for lunch. He eats them odd though. He pops the hot dog out of the pretzel, and proceeds to have the pretzel in one hand and the dog in the other and each bite alternates between hotdog in mustard and pretzel bun in ketchup. It's one of the few foods he won't sneak anything to the dogs lol. Every time I see it I burst out laughing, it's so funny.

May is almost over! which means starting June the farmers market that pops up down my street will be going strong and oh boy I love going. It was so nice last year, I could legit spend the evening on a saturday from five to eight thirty just not Dealing with the house. It was a great way to get out, be around people, and just have a nice time. I'm really really looking forward to it again.

[readreactrant]

Hi...Do you know what anime you'll watch this season?

My top 3 fav this season are :

- Tadaima, Okaeri (wholesome BL, also one of my comfort read)

-Black Butler : Public School Arc (yes the ship is problematic but you cannot deny the shipper when you watch it. I'm not shipping SebasCiel but I'm not anti too. Their canon relationship is complicated but great story)

-Wind Breaker (bucchigiri but way better and loveable mc)

Hope you'll like them.....

Hey hey ( ◜‿◝ )♡, Literally following all of these already.

Black Butler was definitely a must, since the announcement dropped sometime last year I've been unable to keep it out of my mind. It's understandable not everyone will ship them but I personally have missed Sebaciel shenanigans so much and seeing favorite characters like Soma (although with less melanin than I remember lol what =_=) in the recent episode just made me so happy.

As for Tadaima Okaeri, I was looking forward to it for a long time, so far I'm not disappointed and it's definitely so fucking cute. All I'm saying is...if any country needs to push baby making propaganda they should go for this instead of the trashy het stuff, I don't make the rules.

I have almost no thoughts on Wind Breaker. It's definitely an upgrade but after the disappointment that was Bucchigiri, I've began to keep my expectations for Delinquent shows low (Tokyo revengers and IWGP are yet to be topped for me). It's not bad but do feel like it's lacking substance in some areas and trying too hard. The main character isn't a bitch tho so I know there's hope for it yet.

To me this year's winter season had way more exciting stuff but there are a number of other anime I'd love to recommend for this spring.

Karasu wa aruji wa Erabanai (The Raven does not choose it's Master) Is almost like the apothecary diaries, but with magic, and without the herbs and medicine...but it has the court politics so yay (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ taking place in a world where people can turn into three legged ravens called Yatagurasu, Yukiya after causing some trouble for his family is taken to serve the most special of specials crown prince who is to become the next Kin'u after picking a bride from the four daughters of the clan heads sent to him. So basically every gay historical romance Wattpad story lol. Unfortunately this isn't a bl and though you can probably tell the prince will get married in future episodes, from these three eps, I think it establishes the focus will be on him and Yukiya, which, I couldn't ask for more.

Another Recommendation is Kaijuu no. 8, I have no words (in a good way). Just spacial forces slaying gigantic monsters while the main character suddenly becomes one of those monsters and has to still join the special force that at some point will kill him if they find out, or if they have found out they realize he's different from other monsters and can help them win the war for humanity *aot flashbacks ಥ‿ಥ* What I'm trying to say is that... it's good. I think it's funny with characters that have to potential to reel you in. I've been told the manga is pretty average tho but we'll see.

Touken Ranbu Kai is...something, I don't watch anime just for pretty boys but even if I didn't like the plot of this one I'd stick with it just for the guys. Beautiful character designs, the lore feels very fresh and intriguing and as well. There's a lot of philosophical topics I think the show has potential to dive into and I'm excited to see where we go moving forward from the three eps out currently.

Last but not least, there's Sentai Daishikkaku (Go Go Loser Ranger) I really don't want to spoil anything but let me just say, it's a brilliant subversion of the Power Rangers narrative. The sound track is fun while also hitting hard, and the characters definitely leave you wanting to know more about them and the world they're in. Definitely give it a try, I don't think you'll regret it.

Got a bit carried away with this one hahah, welp that's all my recs for now. Aside from my shipping stuff I'll probably talk about any of these every now and then, my top three right now tho are definitely Black Butler, Sentai Daishikkaku and Karasu wa aruji wa Erabanai. Anon has amazing taste but I'm a very big action and supernatural fan at heart so I'm based.

Depending on how disappointing or exciting things get along the line this list might change but unfortunately my feelings don't help the state of my FAL ranking so yeah wish me luck (〒﹏〒)

Feel free to leave YOUR current top 3 for this season in the comments, or if you joined FAL like me or just what you think of any of these of you're already watching them (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[teecupangel]

Just came to me even though I saw the D&D movie ages ago (along with a few re-watches) and- Ezio would either love or hate D&D bards so much. They're bards- something he hates; but they also have the spell Vicious Mockery which he really, really loves/wants. Killing his enemies by just trash-talking them? Might be the only redeemable thing about these newfangled magical bards.

Oh god, yes, Ezio would have complicated feelings for bards soooo much because he hates minstrels in canon.

But also: (me vibrating at finally being able to talk about my AC D&D ideas)

I have been thinking of how Desmond and his ancestors would play D&D and, really, when you think about it, these guys would be multiclassing different kinds of Rogues.

So my idea is:

Altaïr:

Main class: Rogue, focus on stealth, intimidation and loves sneak attacks.

Secondary class: either Soulknife or Artificer as a reference to the power of the Apple and his legacy of creating tools and devices beyond what should be available during his time. Go Soulknife route if you want him to be more on the side of hidden death, go artificer for more utility.

I did think of making him an Arcane Trickster but the spells of an Arcane Trickster are more about deceiving targets and Altaïr is less of a deceiver and more of a stealth-based assassin. (Unless you play him as more on the side of ‘fuck stealth, let’s chase our targets!’)

Ezio:

Since he wasn’t trained to be an Assassin since birth in canon, we can make a case of Ezio having a different main class with Rogue being his subclass. It would be funny if we make Bard his main class OR Ezio could be one of those d&d players who decide to multiclass… a lot of classes. It’s a risky move but definitely something teenage Ezio could do (ah, the hubris of a rich noble youth).

Hell, he could have decided to be a bard to get Cristina’s attention XD

I didn’t see Edgin’s stat block (because I don’t wanna sign up for D&D beyond) but my headcanon is Edgin leans heavily to Charisma and Ezio would be the same.

Definitely the party’s main healer XD

Ratonhnhaké:ton:

Main class: Druid for Wild Shape as reference to the DLC and his natural affinity to nature.

Possible Druid Circle choices: Circle of the Land would be the safest choice as it works well with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s connection to his land (Grasslands has Pass Without Trace which is super good for stealth checks) BUT Circle of the Moon focuses on Wild Shape combat which would make Ratonhnhaké:ton more formidable in any of his Wild Shape forms.

Secondary Class: Rogue (or maybe Ranger or Fighter? Barbarian is also possible but Fighter gets freaking Extra Attacks). But, as a Rogue, he focuses more on investigation. Definitely the "I look for traps" type of player.

He’s definitely their main attacker AND he can transform into a bear OR an owlbear.

Desmond:

For Desmond, it would be fun if he did start off as a Rogue as a reference to how he was raised on the Farm but immediately focused on his secondary class as soon as it was available.

Possible secondary class: Arcane Trickster with Warlock because of the whole ‘spells to deceive targets’ kinda vibes with his whole ‘deceiving everyone that I’m just a normal dude’. I picked Warlock because now he has to have a patron that will grant him magic and it could be an Isu (Minerva is the most common choice but… Juno is also there XD). He can also be an Oathbreaker Paladin multiclass I guess? It doesn’t really work all that well since Oathbreakers are usually seen as ‘evil’ for breaking their oath to their god but if Desmond’s god is Juno, he has all the reason to be an Oathbreaker.

If you want Desmond to be a DM, his character will be a high-level DMPC and more like Xenk who helps out the players for a brief period and pops in and out. Oh, oh, oh! His DMPC could be the tavern owner who works as kinda like a secretary to the party and keeps all the quest requests they get because they always return to his tavern after every adventure to drink and relax. The hint that he’s a high-leveled DMPC could be that an 18+ roll to persuade him to give them drinks for free did not work.

Possible DMs:

Of course, depending on who their DM (if it's not Desmond) would be, the restriction of certain spells could be lifted so, for example, Ratonhnhaké:ton could be a Circle of the Moon Druid but have been allowed to have ‘Pass without Trace’.

I honestly think Clay would be a good ‘I’ll allow it’ kind of DM who thrives in chaos and improvisation, letting them go off track.

Shaun would also be a flexible DM but he tends to railroad them when he’s excited because he thought of a good plot.

Rebecca feels more like she prefers to be a player than a DM tbh.

Lucy would be a rules-lawyer type of DM. Always asking if they have the ingredients they need for spells and such but doesn’t like to KO players.

Malik would also side with the rules more often than not but it’s more to keep his side organized and he let them get away with a lot of things if he thinks it’s particularly an interesting idea.

Leonardo would be the type of DM who would remember all the rules but only cherry-pick whichever rules he wants to implement. Might also be the type of DM to level them up by milestone instead of EXP.

It would be funny if Kadar is the one who has a habit of TPKO-ing not because he’s being mean but because he overestimates everyone’s characters (especially Altaïr’s)

Possible Races:

I really, really like the idea that they’re all Kenkus because the bird motif is right there! But instead of being corvids birds, they’re different kinds of eagles.

Maybe Ratonhnhaké:ton is half-Kenku instead with Haytham being a Kenku while Kaniehtí:io is another race (Wood Elf would be the most common chance but Eladrin or Owlin are also good choices imho). Of course, this would mean Half-Kenku would have to be homebrewed.

If you don’t want Kenku and don’t want them to be one of the more common races (humans, elves, etc), Aarakocra (birdfolk) would be good as well (which has a +2 on Dex is rogues need to excel in and can fly). Kenkus also have +2 on Dex too btw and they can't fly (it's part of their backstory, wishing they could fly again).

Altaïr can also be a Genasi as the whole ‘descendant of djinns’ background of a Genasi would be a reference to his birthplace in canon. Personality-wise, Altaïr would probably be a Fire Genasi, especially if his personality is based on the beginning parts of AC1.

Alright, for Desmond, if you don’t want him to be a Kenku, human might be a good idea as a jack-of-all-trades kind of thing (+1 to all). BUT if you want to lean into his connection to the Isus, Aasimar would be your best choice with Protector Aasimar having Radiant Soul at level 3 which will give Desmond wings (and glowing eyes) for 1 minute in combat. Or, if you want a reference to how Desmond burned, Scourge Aasimar’s Radiant Consumption is more or less a burst of divine energy that erupts from the Aasimar, with the description including “threaten to char you”. If you want to go down the “William Miles tried to make him a soldier” route, Desmond could be a ‘failed’ Warforged which would make him a bulky (and most probably the tank) rogue. Also… ‘absolutely normal NPC tavern owner’ turns out to be an Aasimar or a Warforged would be a funny plot twist.

Other Notes:

Edward is a swashbuckler rogue. Even if he's already a grandpa, he would definitely play with them.

Ratonhnhaké:ton's character's father could be based on his real father OR could be based on his father's own D&D character (if he plays)

Bill plays D&D too but Desmond absolutely does not invite him. Ever. His books and dice did come from Bill though.

Ezio has the most expensive dice. They’re super pretty.

Ratonhnhaké:ton prefers to buy dice made by small-time creators. Would definitely join Kickstarter projects for dice that look cool or are nature-themed.

Altaïr would probably have metallic dice.

They have a banned 20d. It ‘always’ gives nat 1 during critical times and give nat 20 for the most mundane insignificant rolls.

(whispers) if you like TTRPG, I made starting character sheets for a Blades in the Dark AU.

[always-a-joyful-note]

So because I want to record my progression of where I am in the story, I'm posting my impressions of the units so far. (Disclaimer: I haven't read many of the stories, and about half the knowledge I have is from osmosis and spoilers. The other half is actually reading wiki entries and the actual stories. So if these takes are inaccurate, that is probably the point XD)

Without further ado....

fine - unit of 2 rich kids who are sort of trying to be slightly less evil but kind of still are evil, one (1) theatre kid who is just there for the ride and his crush, and a butler with the face of an angel and the threatening aura of a ezekiel-accurate angel in disguise. Also another impression I had of it was one chronically ill idol stan with three of his idol crushes. But they're solid, if slightly flowery; not exactly my style but their songs are good.

Trickstar - literally my sons. Traumatised idiots who choose to continue to see the bright side with a slice of anarchy. They're all so dumb. Their leader looks straight laced but is more insane than his co-leader who is perpetually wearing the ^u^ expression (except when trauma slapped). The other two members are a camera-phobic gamer boy who is also a model and a guy who exudes reliability and sanity but is also kind of an insane workaholic with inferiority issues. I'm adopting them all and their songs are like…both generic but SO sincere you can't hate it.

Ryuseitai - Me when first meeting them: Awww! A power ranger themed unit! So cute! Me, after hearing stuff about the two senior members' lore and how they recruited their youngsters: (clutching my heart, trying not to sob/lose my mind) Aww! A power ranger themed unit! S-so cute! I would die for literally all of them…WHY. Such silly happy sincere tunes sung by such silly, devastating characters??? Found family, to me

Alkaloid - everyone here believes they are holding everyone else back with their psychological problems (Mayoi), disability problems (Tatsumi), ability problems (Aira), or culture shock problems (Hiiro). And yet they're the unit whose songs have mostly all been ones I absolutely loved. Which means the assembly machine factory idols Eichi's got going on are working and idk how I feel about that

Eden - A bunch of guys with severe family issues who probably have never read the bible (well, maybe Nagisa has). So, like, tw inaccurate depictions of the bible? Anyway, deranged quartet of a softie obsessed with cool rocks but really he has sort of a god complex, a guy with a perpetual :D who is as smart as he thinks he is but is also kind of oblivious to all of his other skills and flaws (and thus is a combo of terrifying snake and kind of someone you're sort of humouring because he's funny), a spoiled princess who might have a bit of a savior complex, and a dude who kinda just got swept along for the ride but is actually really fond of them. And it shows in their music.

Valkyrie - Just….theatre kids, who put the drama in dramatic and the intense in intensity (that's definitely not how the expression is used). They also have a very strange thing going on even though they're trying to be healthier, but I'm too afraid to ask. Unfortunately, though, they have some killer compositions and so many references to Classics and Things, not to mention their songs are genuinely good for those who want that quick theatrical vibe

2wink - Adorable twins that I was lured into thinking were the normal mischief twin duo trope but what in the actual ensemble were the writers DOING? They deserve at least half the cw/tw tags. Also, one of them is kinda like Trickstar (just wants to make things brighter) while the other one has schemes and will not hesitate to destroy you while giggling, yes. All that angst but they have such cheery tunes. Like, boys please….

Crazy:B - I mean, with a name like that….listen. You think it's the guy with the metabolism-related medical condition who has a dad implied to be accused of cannibalism and his freeloader who is a literal prince but also constantly broke that would be the most insane. But, no, we also have a fifteen year old assassin who has definitely killed and a guy who is literally both committing identity theft AND helping in witness protection. But, yes, their songs are fun, as is their dynamic. Also…Amagi brothers. Ough.

Undead - This is just…four urban fantasy love interests thrown into a unit. I'm not exactly sure what urban fantasy race Adonis and Kaoru are (though sometimes I'm inclined to think adonis is the protagonist who just kinda got swept along for the ride except he does have the vibe sometimes (aka casually kidnapping HiMERU)) but a vampire and werewolf are very obviously there. Really do love their rock and roll style, like come on (though I sometimes do think it'd be cool if they let Rei's love for jazz into their songs)

Ra*bits - Look. I love them. It really is just a single dad with one of the most messed up backstories doing his best. But like, also, leave them alone please?? The writers really just made them the damsel in distress character that makes Subaru go "oh, I have to take this revolution stuff seriously" and that's not even mentioning all the other stuff they seem to go through??? Like they do not belong in whatever genre Enstars is going for but they make it work but….let them rest. Songs not my style but they fit their vibe of "smile and spread joy" which works cause I do feel joy. Like Trickstar without the revolutionary goals.

Akatsuki - TBH, I'm still kind of wondering why these three (a warrior, a mangaka, and a tailor who used to be a delinquent) are still idols. I mean, they do have talent and traditional aesthetic is fire, and they're definitely sort of found family, but why still idols guys? That said, again, songs not my style but they definitely capture their aesthetic and vibe and that's always cool to me. Also, one of the members was raised in a Buddhist temple and helped with funerals, and I do not know enough about Buddhism enough to say if they portray a Buddhist accurately but given how they portray everyone else's quirks, it probably still has a giant dose of deranged on it.

Knights - HAHAHAHAHA. They're all insane. But they have talent and earned their place in the big three. But that does not make them less insane. That's all because I will go a bit barmy if I think about them too much. Silly, insane knights who enjoy hobbies like kidnapping (affectionate) and dancing/singing (will kill you in a duel)

Switch - Look….at heart, I can't hate these fantasy game isekai themed group. I enjoy their music because I do like the electropop remix/edm thing they have going on. And it DOES kill me that the only two 3-people units (Akatsuki and Switch) both have the dynamic of "a couple of parents and their beloved and most treasured cinnamon roll of a chaotic son." But like Valkyrie, I don't know what's going on with the senior members and am too afraid to ask, especially since they seem fine with it while their son with synesthesia cheers them on.

MaM - He is literally a cowboy. I - is there a thing with Japan and cowboys? And did someone at the writer's table see that samurai, Victorian thief, cowboys, and pirates post? Because somehow, the only member of this unit is all of them. A very stark contrast against his weirdly cheerleader/mom friend songs. I know he has mommy issues (mafia thing, I think) but.....son, are you okay?

Double Face - Yeah, okay, I love them. They might be the murder unit and I still have no clue to their formation but I love it. Put the Victorian cowboy thief samurai pirate and the child assassin together and you get secret agent type music that sounds like it could be in an old spy flick? How can you not love it?

[bigolbard]

The Legends of Apex but they're DnD

I like Apex a lot. I like DnD a lot. I couldn't sleep last night, so this happened. Some of them are based on personality, others on mechanics. Some of them also get subclasses because fuck you, I make the rules. Read on at your own risk.

Bloodhound. A lover of nature and beasts, and an expert tracker. Bloodhound is a RANGER.

Gibraltar. Incredibly tough to hit, wields a shield, and can unload massive damage when needed. Gibraltar is a PALADIN.

Lifeline. A medic, but not the best medic. Reliable healing with the ability to revive while still fighting. Lifeline is a DIVINE SOUL SORCERER.

Pathfinder. Incredibly mobile. Likes to push fights quickly, but can disengage just as quickly. Is into hand to hand combat. Pathfinder is a MONK.

Wraith. Gained the ability to travel between dimensions. Harnesses a power that is now innate. Wraith is a SORCERER.

Bangalore. Boring at first glance, but full of interesting potential when you really take a minute to think about it. Was a soldier. Bangalore is a FIGHTER.

Caustic. An incredibly intelligent individual who is very good at making alchemical substances. Caustic is an ALCHEMIST ARTIFICER.

Mirage. Tries a little too hard to be funny, but is genuinely charismatic. Likes to be the center of attention, but is still quite intelligent. Mirage is a BARD with the Artificer Initiate feat. (He could also be a Trickery Cleric, depending on if you value personality or ability.)

Octane. Reckless, aggressive, and fast. Fight first, think later. Octane is a BARBARIAN.

Wattson. An electrical genius who uses their inventions to gain the upper hand. Wattson is an ARTIFICER.

Crypto. The poster boy of edgy backstories that the DM had to go through great lengths to un-edge. Incredibly paranoid. Crypto is a ROGUE.

Revenant. Sneaky and stabby. Revenant is also a ROGUE. (An Assassin Rogue, to be precise.)

Loba. Sneaky and steal-y. Loba is also also a ROGUE (A Thief Rogue, to be precise.)

Rampart. She makes things by hand and kills things by hand (using the things she made by hand). Shiela is literally an Eldritch Cannon. Rampart is an ARTILLERIST ARTIFICER.

Horizon. Arguably the most intelligent Legend in the games. Clearest proficiencies are in gravitational science and related fields. Likes to create black holes. Horizon is a SCHOOL OF GRAVITURGY WIZARD.

Fuse. Sold his soul for fame and fortune. Has a projectile weapon that never runs out of uses and does good damage. Fuse is a WARLOCK.

Valkyrie. Chaotic as hell. Wants to seduce everyone. Successfully injected herself into a blossoming relationship and faced no consequences. Valkyrie is a BARD.

Seer. A cursed child who isn't actually cursed. Defined by the events of his birth, which spawned a legend not necessarily deserved. Seer is a SORCERER.

Ash. A trained fighter who prefers swords over guns. Incredibly skilled at murder, but can also tear through space, appearing to be in two places at once. Ash is an ECHO KNIGHT FIGHTER.

Maggie. Will fight anyone and anything at anytime. When she rages, no one is safe. Maggie is a BERSERKER BARBARIAN.

Newcastle. Will protect you and pick you up if you fall. Has a shield, and knows how to use it. Kind of a dork, but in a good way. Newcastle is a CLERIC.

Catalyst. An area control specialist who's very in-tune with nature, astrology, and spirituality. Catalyst is a CIRCLE OF THE STARS DRUID.

Vantage. A long-range sniping specialist with an animal companion. Vantage is a BEAST MASTER RANGER.

Ballistic. A master of arms with a knack for poetry and the classics. A refined man with refined taste and did I mention a whole lot of guns. Ballistic is a SAMURAI FIGHTER.

[tenander]

Doing the Which of your OCs... asks for my homemade blorbos. Part 1: Question 1 - 13. (If you want to know more about these guys, check out their tags on my blog!)

has the best hair? As a certified impossibly-pretty-hair-enjoyer, that's a difficult pick. I'm gonna say Corzian, whose hair is ridiculously long, wavy and looks perfect all times even though he spent his entire youth sick in bed and now adventures daily with little to no time spent on its care. Elven privilege.

uses/would use the most products? Definitely Crim, he enjoys the ritual of pampering his own body and will happily take an hour to indulgently and thoroughly apply oils and creams and powders.

frustrates you the most? Zaphir, hands down. He is emotionally stunted, in a permanent state of paranoia and old enough to be very stubborn about his beliefs, and I want his story to be about finding inner peace and comfort and genuine companionship... but his story is the story of BG3, which is not conductive to overcoming trust issues. Hhhhhhhh....

makes you smile the most? ALL MY BLORBOS MAKE ME SMILE A LOT But Solstice's overflowing love and kindness is kind of infectuous, and sometimes he is also just really really funny in the most wholesome ways.

is the happiest? I think that'd be Qursa, now that he's reunited with his brother. He is with his family and they're doing good for the galaxy, that's all he ever wanted.

is the saddest? *slaps Crim* this bad boy can fit so much grief in him. He lost everyone he ever loved, as well as himself, and has to worry about losing more every single day. (He'll get better eventually.) I also have a yet unnamed guy percolating in my skull-raisin who is hella unhappy.

is/would be the first to die in a Horror scenario? Yukiro. He's a good fighter and a good sneak, but he is also in bad health and is the kind of man who would tell his team to "Go, I'll hold them off".

has been with you the longest? Making OCs permeates my life, so it's a bit hard to tell sometimes, but I think if we assume AU versions of an OC to still be the same character, then the OC I have had the longest and who has gotten new thoughts added within this year is Meredith, my Saints Row Boss. OG Meredith is basically retired (in a satisfying way), but there is a New Saints Row version of him.

is your newest? Fully existing, that would be my SWTOR Inquisitor, Ru'lonn, who will drag the empire into a new age of alien power even if he has to do it at forcelightningpoint. Still in larval form is unnamed guy, who achieved immortality in the worst possible way.

has the best butt? According to reliable and professional sources, Zaphir. He has been a Monk all his life, he could probably kill a man with his buttcheeks.

is/would be the most likely to get caught committing a crime? Novel would a) absolutely commit a crime for the sake of his townspeople or his temple and b) be really bad at it and get himself caught immediately.

likes/would like animals the most? It's a toss-up between Novel, the Ranger who was saved as a baby by ravens and is never without his own bird friends and loves all of nature, and (surprise) Qursa, who discovered that he is an exceptional healer because he can feel the pain of other living beings by noticing and healing injured animals as a youngling, and who still deeply cares for them now (except certain bugs, bugs are freaky).

can/could cook the best? I have had to realise that nearly all of my OCs have cooking skills ranging from "eh" to "oh god please no". In the context of this unfortunate trend, only Yukiro stands out as someone who can make a decent meal from nearly any ingredient he has available at the time, and makes amazing inarizushi.

[grilledgleesus]

🎵 FROM MY VIDEO, TO MY RADIO🎵 Happy 40th anniversary to Kidd Video! This seemed like a perfect excuse to draw the main KV crew in my style. It's such an odd little show, but a lot of fun because of it. Many saturday morning cartoons of the time were creatively stifled for the sake of marketing toys, but I think KV pushed itself wherever possible to make a truly interesting show. You can definitely feel the impact of MTV having recently become mainstream - don't know if the show would be quite as creatively distinct had it come out before that. The format being a mix of animation and live action feels special, and I have to presume it was pretty uncommon on TV at the time. I wish it had lasted longer than two seasons, but the fact that it exists at all makes me really happy.

For the possible one person who's read this far and may be ever so slightly curious, my favorite characters are Carla and Glitter, but the show is full of great characters. I'll have to get back to you on favorite episodes, there's quite a few I really like. Would've liked to do some artwork with Master Blaster and/or The Copycats, as they're a lot of fun too, but I just didn't have the time. Maybe someday..

Saban, the company behind the show, seemed pretty interested in format shakeups like this - they'd make Power Rangers just under a decade later, which uses a mix of character storylines shot for Power Rangers and action sequences from Super Sentai, a Japanese series. With that in mind, it's pretty funny that I got into Power Rangers last summer, and Kidd Video this one.

[paceplace]

Top 5 NPC toons!

okay so this was actually a bit difficult for me to answer because there are a lot of NPC toons i like LOL. answer under a readmore bc this got long

1) lil oldman. while i do get why a portion of the community disliked him (especially if you came from tto) i personally was always fond of him! this is mainly because he's one of the few npc's in tto who actually had a personality but also the more i think about it, it almost feels like the folks at disney were poking fun at how grindy it's own game was when designing his taskline? like you could pick up it was grindy at certain points prior but they really weren't holding back at that point. it's kind of a cruel joke in hindsight but it's amusing in a messed up sort of way.

clash's take on oldman is also incredibly funny. the way they wrote his dialogue is so good you can tell they had fun with it. i really loved how they referenced both the trading card lore (brrrgh's existence w/ the air conditioner) and the frustrations ppl had with tto oldman's taskline in the dialogue. even though clash wants to distance itself from the original game as much as possible, seeing stuff like that in-game truly warms my heart.

2) barnacle bessie. kind of a hot take but i said this before and i'll say it again: bessie did NOTHING wrong and i will die on this hill!! i always found it odd that ppl viewed bessie's actions towards misty as unreasonable/cruel esp when it's been established multiple times that the cogs have been stealing their resources and harming them. it comes off as ppl seeing bessie defend herself as a bad thing which is really backwards, imo. i think you can feel bad for misty while acknowledging that by being affiliated with a company that actively harms the toons, she will be viewed as untrustworthy by them. she also kinda reminds me of laurien in the sense that they're both resistance rangers who are used to/prefer working in the background but then got promoted to a higher position of power and initially struggled before finding their footing in the end (laurien failed being a leader in clo but got redeemed in oclo, bessie was struggling with the cogs in the beginning of bb, but was in a better position by the end of the taskline after our help). maybe i'm reaching with this comparison but idrc it's interesting to think about to me so i'm putting it here.

3) aunt arctic. i'm putting her on this list solely because of her toontask giving her the "i need to go sad." phrase. she being the only npc to tell you to go green yourself is comedy gold i don't care what anyone says.

4) mac opsys/winn dos. putting them together bc they're a package deal. i'm bad at trying to solve ARG's but i really like when these two show up! their friendship is super cute and i really hope we see them in-game at some point or learn more about them!

5) paletti swatch. while we don't know anything of their personality, i think it was super clever of clash to make it so that their design changes everytime you load into the playground! it's not a secret toons can change their size and shape due to their nature but it's a small detail that adds to the charm of a cartoonishly wacky, colorful world

some honorable mentions are doe vinci (her design is so cute! i love doodling her in my sketchpad), flippy, and tutorial tom.

[kimberlyannharts]

Notes on Ranger Academy #6 -

= The obligatory school dance portion of the magic school plotline. Kinda wanted more romantic drama tbh but the friend group stage everyone's in at this point is legit cute. Sage's team is a legitimately well-written group in that I can buy that they're all close friends without it feeling forced or like they're just co-workers

= Everyone's family getting a moment to shine is nice. Kartyr's family still legit comes off like a big polycule at first glance even though I know they're supposed to be his parents, his sisters, and their partners

= Going along with my rant about the fandom's weird hang-ups on Sage's attitude and the book's attitude on Greens, this is another issue where Sage outright says "i'm the reason for the extra security right??? i'm putting everyone in danger???" and Tula outright says "no. what? it's Dark Specter." The book is NOT SAYING GREEN IS THE PROBLEM SAGE JUST HAS ANXIETY

= Besides the reveal at the end of Tula's sister being a Green Ranger, probably the most notable thing about this issue is that we learn Nadira is Mathis's mother (as well as having a brother, which I'm pretty sure makes Nadira the only show character to have more than one kid in her future - obviously not counting Tommy technically having two kids due to alternate universes.) We don't know the father outside of Nadira saying he's a Power Ranger - Mathis's brother being named Joel seems to point to Joe, especially considering the franchise has been weirdly insistent in keeping the Joe/Nadira marriage canon, but nothing is confirmed. What further muddies it is Nadira's odd dialogue about how Mathis's father "was" a Power Ranger (when Mathis tries to say he "IS" a Power Ranger, Nadira just says that depends on how optimistic you are. Not sure what that means) and Hyperforce's odd place in the canon in general. My best guess is that the vagueness could have something to do with the Green Ranger thing, as Mathis's dad potentially being a Green would have messed with that, but again, nothing is confirmed. Especially when we actually get into the explanation as to what happened to the Green Rangers.

= Also Mathis handwaves the weirdness of the implication that they're originally from a different time period with "don't think too hard about it" but. I'm sorry, I can't stop thinking about it. How does that work. Are they stuck in this time period after they graduate?????????

= Tula distracting everyone by turning her and Sage's relationship into queerbait is still really really funny

[cactusringed]

IM asking you to ramble about bg3 au and autism blast everywhere. and makeout and how sexy and funny you are.

I love you both so much our wedding is coming soon

Anyway OK listen. Listen to me okay Bg3 refers to baldurs gate 3 and for all you need to know it's a dnd video game where the characters get infected with literal brain worms which should have turned them into murderous cultists, but somehow they got spared that fate, and come together to get rid of their brain worms

The party is made of

Grian: a gnome druid whose preferred wild shape is a bird and who might have some hidden aasimar origins because Grian HAS to be God's favorite princess all the time

Scar: an elf ranger who was torn away from his family when he was kidnapped by illithids, and whose closest bro Cub (a warlock who's made a pact with archfaes) was also infected but sadly was turned into a cultist. Scar is desperately looking for him.

Scott: a tiefling bard/sorcerer who does most of the group's talking with npcs both due to his travels making him the more knowledgeable of the group about the region but also because as a bard you can do wild shit like just convince really powerful entities to just kill themselves for fun and that's a very Scott thing to do

Mumbo: a half drow artificer who tbh is the most normal of the group (as far as everyone knows anyway)

Jimmy: half aarakocra (bird :D) vampire cringefail rogue who. Well yeah he's a stand in for astarion me and my friend just wanted a cringefail vampire with negative charisma ok

Joel: A half elf barbarian who has a little secret. The secret is that he's a murderous bastard. But like in the most literal sense of the word

Joel's role specifically has me so mentally ill. Okay. So like. You need a teensy bit of lore for this ok and this will include spoilers for baldy gate 3 if the 2.5 people who read this far intend to play the viddy game well stop reading but still kiss me on the mouth.

So the Lore has many gods and the gods are just real tangible all powerful beings. Much like with Greek mythos, you following a specific god isn't because you only believe in that God, but because you're most devoted to them. Well that's how I see it anyway. And there are three gods associated with death and evil (it's more complicated than that in my hc but we don't have time). One of them is Bhaal. And Bhaal, get this, is the most metal fucking fictional god I've seen because he's the god of MURDER.

Something something he had to give birth to people called Bhaalspawn for some reason who are his direct children and carry a piece of him within them or something (Bg/dnd superfans don't come at me) and it's all part of his grand plan to take over the world. WHATEVER

But Joel IS a bhaalspawn. And he was Bhaal's specialest most favorite bhaalspawn. And now, okay, the thing about bhaalspawns is that they're not actually inherently evil, but they do carry that part of Bhaal within them - his will, and his potential for power. Some Bhaalspawn are raised specifically to be daddy's best little murderers and of course that's how Joel was brought up.

He was examplary because he was trained to be. He was capable of some of the most rancid bloodshed because it was what he was taught, and rewarded for. He was created to be murder incarnate, so any other emotions (love, empathy, etc) were shunned until Joel was either incapable of it, or refused to show it.

Except something happened. He got betrayed, usurped, and infected with the aforementioned brainworms which led to his memory loss. What did remain, even as he escaped the ship keeping him captive, even as he joined up with other infected survivors, was... A primal need. Like it was coded in his DNA, like it was in his blood itself: he had a need to kill. Not just kill, but spread misery, spread pain, and acquire power at any cost. He mostly unleashes those urges onto his enemies, but it never feels like enough. Like a scratch he can't quite itch. Of course, that's all Bhaal trying to reel him back in, Bhaal trying to reclaim him.

But like clockwork - because such ingrained training doesn't go away no matter how much one thinks they forgot - he finds himself relishing in it. In the violence of it all. The only time he feels truly alive is when he's covered in blood and gut.

... That is, until he finds himself growing closer and closer to Jimmy. After a night where Jimmy, desperately trying to hide his very obvious identity as a vampire but also desperately hungry, tries to feed off of Joel, and reveals his secret... Well, Joel had all rights to kill him right then and there. He reasons that there's no fun in killing someone so helpless but in truth there's something a bit charming about Jimmy. He's earnest, and he's just so... Not exactly innocent, but also sort of? He gives Joel to urge to protect him. To hold him so tight and close as to choke him. But in a sweet way. Probably.

Joel won't be able to put it into words for a long while yet, half because he refuses to let himself feel such things because he's so horrifically repressed. He was the only one at camp who didn't even guess Jimmy was a vampire before the big reveal because he's got negative int and wis (his strategy in battle is just hit things hard before they can hit you and honestly it works most of the time) so he'd just never noticed the obvious signs. Anyway. Because his blood is the tastiest and somehow he's one of the companions who acts the least weird about it, which really says a lot, Jimmy ends up mostly feeding off of him. And, well, something about letting your homie regularly suck blood out of your neck is bound to lead to something more. Joel becomes a bit possessive of his little birdie.

When Joel learns that he's Bhaal's special little princess, in truth he's fucking elated, because he spends weeks torturing himself in an attempt to remember who he is, what he's doing, what's wrong with him - and he's finally afforded answers. He leans fully into it. He's so happy to serve his God with bloodshed.

Until he's faced with him. With Bhaal. And after Joel committed countless atrocities (which the rest of their group didn't mind that much as lokgi as they stayed in the clear. They're all bad people) bhaal asks him to shed one last bit of blood before receiving his blessing, before becoming his chosen, he who will enact the murder God's plans. He needs to get rid of his pesky earthly desires and affections. They have no place within murder incarnate. He asks Joel to flat out kill Jimmy or die right here and then.

You'd think Joel would hesitate with how intensely pro-Bhaal he is. You'd think it would be a difficult decision. Jimmy would have thought too. Except that Joel's response is instant and intense. He tells Bhaal to go literally fuck himself, that he'd rather kill every last Bhaalspawn and make sure his bloodline ends with him, rather than lay a finger on Jimmy. Jimmy, whose helped his heavy heart feel so light and free. Jimmy, who makes him feel true warmth. Jimmy, who makes Joel want to appreciate every sunset, every breeze, every breath of fresh air. Jimmy, who treats Joel as so much more than a bloodthirsty beast.

Joel never thought he would want to be anything more than a bloodthirsty beast.

So of course Bhaal kills him because he's literally a god. Right in front of Jimmy. (there's plot and dnd magic that brings him back but it's definitely the culmination of his arc; that Joel, groomed to become murder incarnate, was given an opportunity to find another meaning to his life)

Also they have CRAZY sex