#and they're on the older side and i don't want to have them constantly in say caretaker roles

[stillresolved]

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[allthosepeopleilovetofangirlover]

DATING DEAN WINCHESTER HEADCANONS

Dean is the guy who'd pretend that he's the best in the entire universe, but he'll get nervous if he ever sees someone slightly more attractive than him.

He loves to watch movies with you, even more so if they're of his choice. Cuddling on the couch in the Bunker and watching a movie is his favourite evening activity, and he's constantly looking at your face throughout the movie to see if you like it or not.

Dean doesn't want you to accompany him on hunts, especially if the creature you have to hunt happens to be particularly dangerous, like a vampire or a werewolf.

He'll never try to control you, but he will get insanely protective of you and you have had many arguments based on that.

Arguments that almost always get resolved by angry sex or intense makeout sessions.

But for the ones that don't, you two eventually find your way back to each other.

He'll never admit it, but he loves it when you treat him with affection and give him flowers.

If it wasn't obvious, Dean is touch-starved, and you figure it out very soon into your relationship. You make sure to give him reassuring touches ever so often, especially in the times of stress.

Dean is very grateful for those touches, and keeps reciprocating the gesture, but in a much wilder way.

He is very possessive, and will glare daggers at anyone who stares at you for too long. Men who know him know how dangerous he is, and how well he can fight, so they stay away from you. But the strangers who try to look at you in any way other than respect, Dean will not hesitate to throw punches.

For all his playboy ways, he's extremely loyal to you. Will not even look at any other girl when you're in the picture. You're the only one he wants and needs.

Dean likes to pull pranks on you. They're harmless, obviously. He loves to see that adorable expression on your face when you don't know what's wrong when you're being pranked. Once you realise it however, it doesn't take a lot of time for that expression to go from adorable to angry.

You love to pull pranks on him as well, often teaming up with Sam to teach his older brother a lesson. Sam loves it, and though Dean pretends to be angry and offended, he's laughing on the inside.

Frequent rides in the Impala, especially when it's drizzling and a cool breeze is blowing. He just likes to go on long drives with you, no distance is too long with you by his side.

Dean tells you stories of his childhood, yes, even the bad ones. The good ones to get a good laugh while the bad ones for you to get more acquainted with his reality, to know who he really is.

He had taken a lot, and I mean a LOT of time to open up emotionally, it was extremely difficult for him to not be guarded at all times. But nothing is too difficult when it comes to you.

Now, he opens up to you and talks to you about how he feels, instead of hiding his real emotions behind corny jokes and sarcasm.

Whenever you get mad at him, he immediately gets to know and tries his best to make sure that you aren't mad, the process including more corny jokes but you learned to love them anyway.

Sam loves the way you have a positive effect on his brother, how you calm him down from both anger and stress, how you make him less reckless and more affectionate.

The most important thing however, is the fact that you make him less self-destructive. He takes a lot of care of you, but along with you, he has started to learn how to cherish and love himself as well.

You bring out the best in him, and he brings out the best in you.

You're his yin, and he's your yang. Both of you wouldn't have it any other way.

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

[poppy-metal]

baby daddy older art…. after his divorce he went on a wild night out, and slept with thing young hot thing he picked up at a bar. it was supposed to be a one night stand, but you get PREGNANT, and now sexy man has to be in your life FOREVER. begs you to keep it even though you’re young and have your life ahead of you, and if you do he will make sure you live in luxury for the rest of your life. you were going to keep it anyway, but his promise makes it so much easier. hes coming to every doctors appointment, he makes you put his number on speed dial, he brings you anything you ask, because you’re carrying his child. decided it’s easier if he lives with you, because he’s seen your apartment and he doesn’t want you or his kid living in such a place, and then he can be available at all hours of the day. he’s so good to you, so kind and sweet and good and he doesn’t have to do this at all, you can help but fall in love with him. but he doesn’t feel the same. it’s a strictly mother of his child relationship. he is very blatant about that. no blurring of boundaries, you are the mother of his child and that’s all. it’s purely practical why he lives with you, because if you’re both ok with it it’s best for the baby to have both parents. that’s all you think it is. you keep your love inside, because he’s such a good man, and to even be around him is a gift. he’s given you more than you could ever hope for, it would be selfish to demand feelings too. that’s what makes him so wonderful, he’s doing this all for a girl he doesn’t even love. and his child, yes, but richer men have done less for their children and the mothers of their children. little do you know, he has to prevent himself from touching you constantly, because you’re a young girl he’s gotten in trouble and he would be the worst man in the world if he also made you think you had to put out to stay with him. no, he had done enough. all he could do now was to provide for you and your child. until………

save me responsible art who accidentally knocked me up save me,,,,,, okay but imagine you're a few months into the pregnancy - you have a prominent bump now and parts of you are getting more and more tender and achey. your breasts for one, have gotten alot more sensitive. 

you're in a mood over it - not snappy but just noticeably uncomfortable. when art comes over to stock your fridge like he's been doing, you're in nothing but an oversized shirt and some tiny sleep shorts. art already has his heart beating fast, pumping in his chest. he tries to stay respectful, notices how you're nit wearing a bra and feels his cock twitch. he thinks to ask you about what's got you looking so blue as a way to distract him from your body but it ends up doing the opposite.

“my chest.” you tell him, frowning. his eyes are drawn down despite himself. “pregnancy body I guess, they're just really tender and like… stiff.” 

your nipples are certainly stiff, art thinks. swallows. concern nips at him. he knows it's unavoidable, but he doesn't want you in pain. 

“are they hurting you?” 

you nod, reaching up to cup them yourself and art tries not to choke on air. you wince. 

“its like a sore muscle or something. squeezing them feels good but I feel like I don't have a good enough grip.” you flush when you realize you're essentially fondling yourself in front of him and drop your hands. “sorry. it's not your problem. I'll live!” 

you usually love having him around for as long as he'll stay, but you're in such pain you just wanna take an advil and take a nap. he doesn't deserve to hear your bitching. 

art feels bad. this is half his responsibility and he has to deal with 0 of the aches and pains. hed siphon it from you if he could. he works his bottom lip between his teeth, face already turning pink before he even says the words. 

“I could help.” 

you blink at him, confused at first. “help?”

arts ears are red now. his fingers flex at his sides. he imagines them on your tits and has to inhale. 

“I mean - my hands might. they might feel better. if you want, obviously. I just hate to see you in pain.” 

so that's how you end up with your back to his broad chest. leaned back as his hands hover at your waist over the shirt. you're all flushed, both of you, but you reckon his hands really will help. they're so sturdy looking. and you remember how they felt on your bare skin. those slender fingers, those palms. with that in mind you place your hands over his and slip them under your shirt - “direct contact will probably help more.” you explain, half because it'd true and also because it's an opportunity to feel his hands again - and you won't waste it. 

arts whole body is burning. hot. he says, “right.” because his brain is rather fucking blank the second his hands make contact with your skin. you're so warm and soft. just like that night. except his baby is inside you now.

he cant help it. he has to feel over your bump. skims his palm over the taut muscle of your belly where it extends out. he's kind of awestruck. 

“have they kicked?” he thinks he'll pass out if he feels it. 

you shake your head. “I'd tell you if they did. I know you'd want to feel.”

his heart warms. he caresses your belly. “I would.” he confirms gently. “I want to be there for everything.” 

you bite your lip. sigh when his hands start trailing up your body. you dont know if he's purposely being sensual about it, or if he's just being respectful about the way he handles your body. it feels so good. it feels natural. his palms cup the side of your tits first, and you gasp. 

“sorry.” he says - starting to pull away and you quickly shake your head.

“no.” you tell him. “no it feels good - dont worry about being too gentle. it's alot of pressure …. “ 

he breathes out and touches you again. grips you'd breasts in his hand and tries not to lose his mind. he's doing this to help you. you're in pain. this isn't about him.

but god, you're so fucking soft. he can feel your flesh squeeze between his fingers. feel the stiff peaks of your nipples. he massages your tits like that for a second, just cupping and pressing against your tits with slight pressure, steadily building the more you sigh in approval. 

he's so big behind you. big chest at your back big hands groping and gripping your fat and heavy tits. 

“that feels so good.” you tell him, and if you have a whine in your voice well it's his fault for having such good hands. 

“im glad.” he chokes out. fuck. he's throbbing in his jeans. hard and thick and he's remembering how your tits felt pressed against his bare chest when he'd been inside you- deep in your tight wet little cunt - you'd been so vocal under him, sweet and cloying and he vividly remembers how the nipples he's currently pinching, felt in his mouth, under his tongue. remembers them bouncing in his face when he'd had you a second time, on his lap, riding his cock so fucking eagerly. 

his brain is all fuzzy with the memories of that night. the message becomes less about relieving you of any pain and just about feeling your body in his hands. you can feel his pecs move against your back as he breathes in and out - his touches becoming less hesitant and more demanding - he squeezes getting more aggressive and dominant. sexual. 

your cunt throbs, your little clit having a heartbeat. you've become so fucking - horny lately. you have to touch yourself everyday - your hormones all over the fucking place. being touched like this isn't helping. you feel soaked and wet between your thighs. downright sticky with it.

you want to reach down and rub yourself. the pounding of your pussy has become even more painful than the throb in your breasts earlier. 

“im so horny.” you say - the confession ripped from your chest. said kinda desperately, hopelessly. arts hands pause on your tits and you lean back against him, pushing it, testing. “it hurts so bad, art. all these pregnancy hormones - no matter how much I touch myself it's never enough. I need to be filled.” 

“jesus.” he leans his forehead against your shoulder. he tries to find that thin thread of control, but he can't. it's gone. probably broke the second he felt you in his hands again. “you can't say things like that….” 

“but it hurts.” you whine. shift around. “hurts right now.” 

you sound near tears and fuck, he fucking hurts too. he's been holding himself back for so long, ignoring his needs - resiting you. he can't even remember why. 

“c’mere.” he tells you, and then he's turning you around in his lap, nd you're straddling his lap, feeling the hard length of him through your clothes and he kisses the gasp right out of your mouth. you moan into each other. his hands grip your ass, rock your tender little pussy against his cock and the friction makes your eyes roll back. 

“please.” you gasp against his mouth, your belly just big enough to put and inch of space between you. your hand tugs at his jeans - “please make it better - I need your cock -”

“the baby -” he pants but doesn't stop you from yanking his jeans down, lifting his ass to help you, even. 

you shake your head, “that's not a thing.” you giggle - “and it helps with - with all the pain I'm feeling - promise -” 

all he has to do is slip your sleep shorts to the side like panties - because you're not wearing any - and sink you down onto his cock - his head falls back when he feels that melting pot of a pussy around him. sucking, tender, soft, tight - squeezing him so fucking good. 

he grips your ass even harder - “your pussy is so good, baby - “ he plants his feet, braces to bounce you on his dick- “im gonna make you fucking cum.” 

[teambyler]

The FIRST thing we see of Mike and El in a relationship is a way they're incompatible (Byler analysis)

In the first Hawkins scene of s3, Mike is expressing his JOY and DORKINESS singing a cheesy 80s song. And El doesn't like it.

Then they kiss anyway:

In the first moments of Mike and El being an established couple, we're shown a way they don't get along. THIS is what the writers chose to emphasize!

Yes, in s1 Mike sheltered El, and yes El saved Mike's life. But as they delve into an actual romantic relationship, the writers make clear that it's their hormones and curiosity about kissing and sex that drive it. There is a disconnect as soon as their hands and lips stop touching.

Meanwhile, there's another person who wouldn't mind this side of Mike at all:

I know I touched on this earlier, but rewatching s3 I realized that THIS is what the writers chose as the FIRST thing to show us about Mike and El as a couple.

And it turns out to be the HIGH POINT of their relationship for the whole series. They had a youthful infatuation that distracted them from real-life troubles (even distracting them from doing anything to help their friends carry Dustin's Cerebro up the hill, like come on!). That kind of relationship doesn't always survive getting older and maturing.

s4 drives home that Mike is awkward and not himself around El. NOTHING El likes -- burritos for breakfast, roller skating, milkshake flavors -- is anything he likes. They're as clashing on him as the "California" clothing he made himself wear to suit El's ideal picture of a happy "sunny" life in California. And we find out in the van in 4x8 that he feels insecure around El: he's "just some random nerd."

Meanwhile, Mike and Will have long known and loved each other for who they are. They have such an intense affinity that they constantly want to know (and already feel) the other one's feelings. When push comes to shove, each puts the other's interests above his own. They can be themselves around each other; they're "a team." They don't break each other down; they build each other up.

And, as their shared love for nerdy things and singing shows, THEY'RE SOULMATES.

We WILL get to see Mike and Will as singing dorks in s5, won't we? RIGHT, Duffer Brothers? ;)

-teambyler

[sugar-grigri]

Fujimoto has never talked so much about love as in this chapter 

This chapter is incredible, not only for the multitude of answers it offers but also for the beauty of its writing on first reading alone. 

It opens with a man who appeared in chapter 101 of CSM, as passers-by passively walked past him, this stranger was actually right: humans, one of whose major causes of death are demons, are leading to a cold war (ironic to talk about a Cold War for a manga set in the 90s)

But it's as if the whole of society refuses to notice, that everyone hides behind Chainsaw Man and consumes all these derivative products like lucky charms. Chainsaw Man embodies a demonic anomaly, a demon at the service of the people who make them forget this war. 

And that's exactly why Yoru has a grudge against him. Chainsaw Man is an instrument of peace, wielded in times of peace and sacrificed in times of war. Chainsaw Man is there to make us forget the conflicts or become the scapegoat, in either case, he is there to make us forget the war in which humanity is trapped.

A machine into which all hopes are projected, cries of suffering directed, whose childlike quality is seen only by the predators who exploit him constantly. 

What we need to see in this dialogue between Nayuta and Fumiko is a struggle for domination. As we have seen, Fumiko is someone who, despite her aggressions, drowns them in a constantly contradictory protection: she wants to protect a child, but moleste Denji, plays a game in which she places him as older in order to hide her predation, and has saviour syndrome.

Fumiko thinks she's easily understood the nature of weapons, she's sensitive to Quanxi's bodily sacrifices and only repeats to the one she's abusing like an unrestrained fan of a child. Fumiko is the symbol that even when she belongs to the same camp as those she intends to protect, she still can't understand them.

She thinks it's either Nayuta who finds humans weak, or the fact that Barem supports Denji's demonic quality, that they are threats to his well-being when they are the ones who know him best. This is normal, because the strategy of public hunters is to bank on Denji's human side, but this strategy is not enough.

In chapters 136 and 137, Denji is mistreated when he's playing as a human being, getting into fights at school, being treated badly by his teachers, molested when he was thinking about a date at the cinema, and the closer he gets to normality, the more he suffers.

She symbolises not only Denji's sexual trauma, but also the paradox of the hunter system: a system that intends to offer Denji a family framework, but which is not only failing but also traumatising.

Nayuta says she wouldn't kill humans because they're weak compared to demons anyway. It would be as boring as killing ants! It's a continuation of Makima's point that the demon of control isn't interested in things that can be mobilised or easily controlled, it's powerful demons like Pochita that she wouldn't be able to control. Because the only way to establish a link for this demon is to find a demon as powerful as her, of her rank. Nayuta's superiority complex is always balanced against Denji's inferiority complex.

While the demon of control is only interested in demons, the demon who was martyred by humans cannot conceive of himself without them, but we'll come back to that later. 

I just want to point something out: isn't it paradoxical to reproach Denji for the education he gives Nayuta when Fumiko is supposed to regard him, as she claims, as a child? Once again, Fumiko is in constant contradiction, protecting by controlling and attacking, conceiving of a child as an adult, she is the hold over a child she can't help but see as a weapon while vouching for his condition. 

What's more, Fumiko's thinking is purely human, not universal like Denji and Nayuta. For them, feeding the dogs and their cat is a mission of the utmost necessity, it's like acting to protect one's family, whereas Fumiko refutes this.

Denji has been considered a dog for part of his life, and has bonded and merged with a demon in the shape of a dog, which is the first form of love he received: it was not humans who first gave Denji love, but animals. In the same way, the demon of control likes to form a relationship with dogs who take pleasure in their domestication, either as a form of denunciation or as a clearly established hierarchy. 

Fumiko proves that human sensitivity only stops at their peers, while the rarer demonic sensitivity is more universal and intense, whether it's treating animals as precious beings or forgiving unforgivable acts like Denji's continued love for Makima.

The fact that Denji and Nayuta appear to have no moral barriers is what allows them not to be prisoners of their own, and to conceive of love more extensively, whether it be harmful or inter-species. 

All this just goes to prove Barem's point that, as a weapon, he has a very good understanding of the different species and what they have in common: death is what binds us together.

When humans no longer find interest in a figure, it is destruction that attracts them. In other words, it's intrinsic to them. Even when they have been spared the demon of fire, they intend to spread it. Isn't it ironic, then, that Fumiko intends to protect two demons at the expense of their animals? Humans only see the world in terms of hierarchy, whereas demons and animals recognise that there is more to it than just a food chain. 

Nayuta's emphasis on the exhilaration that comes from abusing and killing demons is spot on. In chapter 137, Denji had fun beating up all those men, even concluding that "this" normal life wasn't so bad. Why was that? Because it's the daily life of a demon.

Denji, who belongs to both camps, has human needs just as much as he has demonic needs, so Nayuta has a point. But just as living solely as a human doesn't satisfy Denji, acting solely as a demon doesn't work any better. 

Denji works through the concrete, through sensations, and what he materialises through his senses, the fact being that he's had at least one kiss without any major damage with a human his own age.

Just a harmless touch is what allows Denji to connect with humanity as a whole, to be sensitive to their plight, even though he has no morals and takes pleasure in human suffering.

It wasn't until Denji struck up a relationship with Aki and Power for the first time that he was able to feel human and stop feeling like an animal. We are empathetic to the fate of those who resemble us, Denji is a universal being, animal, human and demon, he is the one who brings these different worlds together. Barem is right: death is what binds species together. But Pochita and Denji are the symbol that love can also be a common denominator. 

The fact that he thinks of Asa is symbolic because, without knowing it, she is the one who understood the plurality of species in Denji. She began by dehumanising him, Denji's animal phase, placing him below the cat (proof that she too places animals before men), then she had budding feelings for Denji before being disturbed by Chainsaw Man. 

That's why Chapter 101 is so important to understanding this chapter: because in it, Asa makes friends with both humans and demons, getting to know Yuko just as she does Yoru. She is not outraged by the idea of killing, as Yoru asks her to do, having put aside her human nature and accepted the world as it is, which is ruled by death.

But she is no fatalist, and in the face of a demon, she protects Yuko, continuing to love despite her mistakes "as long as her heart is in the right place". What matters is not so much our actions as the cursor through which we place ourselves to apprehend the world. 

Relationships are full of mistakes, imperfections, misunderstandings and a game of dominance. Denji doesn't realise it, but the one who kissed him wasn't Asa but Yoru, and it was for a bad purpose: to turn him into a weapon. Paradoxically, in wanting to make Denji a weapon, Yoru conceived him as he was, a hybrid being, a weapon. It was the first kiss in which he was seen for what he was.

But not only that, just as Asa loves the different natures of the multi-species being that is Denji, so Denji loves Asa's dual nature, what holds him together is as much the memory of the human in the aquarium as the physical contact with the demon inside her.

While Asa, in her desire to protect Denji, was distancing herself from him, hurting him and making him doubt himself, it was paradoxically the demon, with evil intentions, who gave him some peace of mind.

The chapter is called Devil's choice, an expression which means that we only have two choices, that we can't have everything. In this case, that would mean choosing a species, a side. But what Asa and Denji still represent in this Shakespearean symbolism is not belonging to any side, but loving in a universal way.

The rejection of men has opened up other perspectives for both of them, be it the animal or the demonic connection. 

Once again, the answer lies in plurality, in what begins with two: Asa and Denji decide, on the contrary, to have it all, there is no Devil's choice. 

By deciding to bond with animals rather than humans when they lost their parents, Asa and Denji forged a destiny guided by love without barriers.

Their bad experiences - sexual harassment for Denji and bullying at school for Asa - at the hands of adults have naturally created a distrust of humanity that is rekindled by contact between the two of them. It's when Denji and Asa come together that they regain hope, because they are the definition of loving each other fully.

Those who stand in the way of this universal love are the public hunters who avoid this natural crossing.

The public hunters are there precisely to fuel the fight against humans and demons, the link they carry is not love but the other common denominator, death, destruction. Even if it means crossing the moral barrier to exploit children with Yoshida by forcing them to harm other children like Asa, Fumiko being once again the symbol of this danger.

Denji has both human and demonic needs, so he's destined to love Asa because she's both human and harbours a demon with a thirst for violence. Chainsaw Man was used to make us forget the war, but by loving the demon of war, they both unravel.

Only Chainsaw Man and the demon of war can conquer death, because love is the second common denominator that links the species. Why? Because everyone has a heart. Even demons. Who not only have one, but become one.

[perfctvelvet]

I love love loved thé Jenna ortega fic, could we get a p2 plzzzzzzzz?????

Endless Summer; Jenna/Reader

Summary: Jenna is back for the Summer, but this time Y/n changes her approach.

Content: 2nd POV. Infidelity, reader's softer/nicer side comes out, angst (with a happy-ending), kissing, fingering (reader receiving), teasing.

It's the hottest day of the year on record. People from the neighborhood were either laid out by the pool, baking in the sun, or inside under the blast of cold air. Summer was never your favorite season. Sure it's branded as the time of year when all the fun can be had but all it did was cause agitation and weird pressure to always be having fun.

The arguments in the family home were frequent during the summer time. Your parents argued as if you and brother were still little kids that they had to find a way to entertain. Usually the two of you would bond of your shared annoyance, but this year was different. Maybe one of your parents passed down the arguing gene because your brother was fighting with his girlfriend nearly everyday.

You were surprised that Jenna was still around. You were even more surprised that she would agree to spend the entire Summer with your family. It doesn't seem possible that that little situation you two had hasn't crossed her mind since. Surely she would expect it to be way too awkward to be around you, but she agreed to come anyway. Neither of you had really spoken to each other, and it's not because you still dislike her. How would anybody be able to talk to her when she was constantly fighting with your brother? Your parents...well at least they were married. Your brother and Jenna's relationship barely cracked the one year mark and they were bickering like an old married couple. Day in and day out someone in this house was furious and it made your head spin. You were always marked as the "moody" one who wasn't happy with any decision, but after this Summer, you deserve an apology!

"Well turns out we won't be going to the state fair because you father agreed to work a Saturday!"

"Okay, it's not a big deal, mom. Plus last time we went everyone got food poisoning from that hot dog stand. Remember?"

"Whatever...I'm going to the mall."

She stormed out with her purse thrown over her shoulder and a box of Marlboro Reds in the other. You don't know when she picked up the habit of smoking, but the grey hairs and extra lines in her face gave it away that she was stressed as hell. Both of the relationships you were surrounded by this Summer gave you zero hope and only affirmed your hook-ups-only behavior. Seeing everyone, especially your parents, crash and burn in these tightly wound relationships made you adverse to them. Maybe you could find someone to work it out with and leave harmoniously, but you aren't going to hold your breath for that moment.

Not even five minutes later after your mother's dramatic exit, your brother cam e bolting down the stairs, a complaint about Jenna on his lips. It was like the universe was giving you sign after sign.

"She can be such a bitch sometimes."

"Hey! Don't call her a bitch!"

"Oh so now you like Jenna?"

"It doesn't matter if I like her or not, don't call another woman a bitch in front of me!"

Sometimes you just wanted grab your brother by the ear and twist it in the same manner you would when you two were both ten years younger. Your parents had problems, albeit ones that could be solved with more communication, that were valid. Paying for a mortgage, other expenses, and your brother's college would cause anyone to crack. That was a lot of pressure for most people. They're getting older, crankier, and their patience has worn thin after raising two kids for more than two decades. You could see why they argued. Your brother and Jenna however were just kids. What would they even fight about? Where they're going to eat tonight? Who's party their attending? They seemed so young and naive compared to the real world problems owned by your parents'.

"She's always on my ass about something. I already have a mom, I don't need another one."

"Okay, well what are you doing wrong?"

"Why do you assume it's my fault?"

"I don't know Isaac, maybe it's because I know you? I've only been here for three weeks and so far I've watched you leave her here to go hang out with your high school friends. Don't you think she feels a little isolated?"

"She can come with me if she just asks."

"Who wants to hang out with Jake and Billy? Do they still make fart jokes and play with that whoopie cushion? They're grown ass men in a twelve-year-old's body, who wants to be around them?"

He sighs in frustration before rubbing his face in his hands. Your little brother needed to face the music; he's not built for a relationship. And you're not just saying that because you have your own thoughts about Jenna.

"Okay well...maybe I don't want to be tied down," he sounds so unsure of himself as he speaks. He looks around to make sure his girlfriend is nowhere in sight before continuing. "I just sort of miss my freedom. I really like Jenna and she's a great girl, but maybe I'm just not ready to commit."

"College boys are never ready to commit," you laugh.

You've seen your fair share of college relationships end because one party wants to continue on partying and that is usually the guy in the relationship. It was kind of sad seeing your little brother going through the same thing.

"If you don't want to be with her, you need to tell her. Don't keep her here all Summer just to dump her when you go back to campus."

"I didn't say I wanted to dump her!"

"Okay well you need to figure out what you're going to do, or else you're going to spend the Summer making each other miserable!"

You could tell Isaac wanted this conversation to end. You were broaching a truth that was too hard for him to face right now.

"Whatever...I'll be back in about two hours."

They say daughters are more like their mothers, and sons their fathers, but that couldn't be more untrue in this household. Your brother was avoidant just like your mother. And while you picked up on some of those traits too, you found that you weren't like either of your parents. Maybe in the past you were, but that changed the day you told them your date to homecoming your sophomore year was another girl.

Now your mother is racking up the credit card bill at the mall, your brother is probably heading to his weird friend's house, and your father is God knows where. That leaves you alone in the house with Jenna. You had a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. Since that encounter with her you softened on Jenna. You were being a little bit of a bitch to her when she first came around and then you fucked her. You know you confused the shit out of her and that wasn't fair. You struggled to get the words 'I'm sorry' to come out of your mouth all of your life and it wasn't going to be easy now. But this was the first time you two were alone since that night. It's been months.

When you go upstairs to your brothers room you find that it's empty. You know she isn't downstairs, so they're is only one place she could be.

A week after that moment between you and Jenna, your mom found bikini bottoms in the jacuzzi. She called you to ask you about and you told her they were yours. They belonged to Jenna, but you didn't mind taking the blame. Surprisingly though she was didn't chew you out, but that resulted in her and you father moving it from the balcony to the backyard. It had been perfect on the balcony because it was so private, but now if you want to lounge in the hot tub you run the risk of one of the neighbors seeing you.

They replaced the jacuzzi with some lounge chairs thinking that their children wouldn't be enticed by some simple chairs. What they didn't understand that their balcony felt like an escape. It caught the breeze in the right way and faced away from the neighbors. It was relaxing and the perfect place to clear your head. And that's where you found Jenna.

She sat with her feet dangling over the concrete edge and she was holding onto the railing. You slid open the screen door and somehow she didn't hear it. You hated to disturb her, but you needed to talk to her.

"You know if you fall you can sue the shit out my parents. Maybe even pay off the rest of your college."

You try to lighten the mood but your joke falls flat when you see her face. She looks as if she's been crying with her eyes slightly puffy. Seconds later she turned away from you. You felt guilty despite not having done anything. You were on your best behavior, but you have this sinking feeling that you played some sort of role in everyone's agitation this Summer. So you join her as a way to keep her company.

"I heard everything."

"What do you mean?"

"I know Isaac wants to break up with me."

You heart drops at her confession. You didn't think about the possibility of her hearing the conversation you had with your brother. Now you feel awful.

"Jenna-"

"No, no, it's okay. At least you were defending me," she gives you a half-hearted smile. "I should've seen this coming though. He'd rather spend time with his boys than be with me no matter where we're at."

"Let me guess, he does this on campus too?"

Jenna nods her head in confirmation. You hate to bash your brother so you keep your mouth shut, but inside you're berating him for being so careless.

"Jenna, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. It's not your fault," she lets out a heavy sigh, one that makes your guilt feel deeper. "I called my parents, I'm going to be leaving next weekend. I'll break up with Isaac on Friday."

Everything about tonight has left you in a state of shock. The last thing you expected though was what just came out of her mouth. You felt remorseful that it had to get to this point, but largely you felt that way because you feel like your chance at a proper apology is now gone. To anyone else maybe it wouldn't matter since Jenna was going to be out of the picture anyway, but to you it did.

"Well if I can't be excuse my little brother's shitty behavior, then I can excuse mine. I wish I could change how things were between us last time."

"You mean you barely saying a word to me and then making me eat your pussy in a hot tub?"

You stared at her, mouth open in shock at how bold Jenna had become. She enjoyed seeing your reaction, finally feeling like she had the upperhand around you.

"I'm just messing with you," she continues. "I know I was probably annoying and coming off as a try-hard in the beginning. Now I just feel like there's not point anymore. I get a little sarcastic when I'm jaded."

"Well I would be a liar to say I'm not stunned by all of this, but in all honesty if you were like this from the beginning I've probably would've liked you instantly. I know that sounds shitty, but we're both making confessions today."

"Can I make another confession?"

"Go for it."

"I liked our night together. You were a little bit too mean for my liking, but I don't think I've felt the same amount of pleasure since."

You had called it the moment you two separated that night that Jenna wasn't use to sex like that. You smugly declared in your head that Jenna would be thinking about it over and over. Now that you've got confirmation about that after her telling you she's going to be leaving for good, you don't feel like taking victory laps. Instead you feel a little sad knowing this is going to be your last moment alone together. It was bittersweet.

"Well my confession about that night is that I thought about it my entire drive home. Knowing more about you know I guess I feel a little bit shitty about it and wish I could override it with another moment."

Jenna focused less on the confession of your internal feelings of shame and more on what was between the lines. You wanted another moment alone with her to do something similar but under a different circumstance. She was blinded by her own desire of needing someone to be there for her to stop herself from kissing you. Her night was suppose to end going to the beach tonight with Isaac to look at the stars, but instead it was going to end with her finding comfort in his sister.

Jenna's kiss was much more powerful than you expected. This side of her felt more true and honest than that happy-go-lucky girl she first met. You wish you'd seen right through that act and got through to her in a different way, even if she says she liked it. Her lips dance against yours in a bruising kiss. You feel her tongue poke at your lips and you let her in. You kiss her as if she was something more than just a hook-up because that's what she needs, and you need to feel better about yourself.

You feels her arms wrap around your neck when she fully turns her body to you. Her legs no longer dangle over the dangerous edge of the balcony. She presses her front into you and you hum in delight. She feels so warm and her lips taste so sweet, but it was a different flavor chapstick that she used this time. Everything about her seemed so different that you struggled to be in control. But, apart of you didn't care about who is or is not in control of the situation. You let things happen naturally, and it felt naturally to let Jenna guide you this time.

"I want you to take your shorts off," she says between kisses.

Each second passes and she seems more and more desperate for the affection. She was touched starved to say the least. You give her what she wants and slide off your lounge shorts without breaking her kiss. She presses into you once you're just in your panties and you yield. Your back meets the rug that replaced where the jacuzzi use to be. Her hand comes between your legs and she rubs your clit through your panties. You don't mean to break the kiss but you throw your head back and moan in delight.

"Fuck Jenna!"

She loved hearing your moans more this time because something about them sounded so different this time. She takes this moment to place her face in your neck and suck at your sensitive skin. She could feel you melting beneath her. You embraced every moment instead of shying away or trying to change anything. She keeps rubbing your clit just to feel your hips rise and legs shake. You can't keep yourself still because the pleasure is too good. A wet spot appears on your panties and you can feel just how sticky you are now. Your pussy was beginning for more attention instead of being touched behind a barrier of fabric. And Jenna could feel that.

Jenna slides her hands into your cotton panties and she moans feeling your slick against her hands. It makes her grow wetter in her own panties. She glides straight over your clit and her fingers slide into your pussy with ease. You let out a blissful sigh instead of a full blown moan. You love the feeling of her nimble fingers filling you up.

"You like that? You like that Y/n? You like me being on top and fucking you with my fingers?"

In that moment she wasn't your little brother's girlfriend, she was a girl who shared the same feelings as you. Fucking her in this capacity felt much more natural that you questioned whether she got with the right sibling.

You don't respond to her. You just close your eyes and let her fingers pump into you. She curls them inside of you and massages your sweet spot and you swear you're seeing stars. She pulls away from your neck to sit up and look down at you. She can see how hard your nipples are through your tank top and it makes her desire grow even more. She bends down again and catches the fabric between her teeth. Jenna exposes your tits and quickly takes your nipple into her mouth.

"Yea! Just like that! I really, really like that!"

You were desperate for release and Jenna loved that. It wasn't the control, but the fact that she was apart of something where both parties were excited for each other. So much with Isaac felt one-sided that it warped her perspective on what she wants. You weren't doing anything to her yet she felt like you were giving her so much.

"I want to make you cum," Jenna sounds just as desperate as you now. "I want you to cum for me, Y/n."

You nod your head fervently. It was like you were saying 'I'm sorry' over and over again and she was accepting the apology. She overwhelmed you with her fingers in your pussy, mouth on your tits, and now her thumb pressing against your clit. Your moans were turning into weak whimpers and you release all over her fingers. There was no room for embarrassment, just nothing but pure pleasure. Jenna, of all people, made you feel like you were in heaven. You wanted to show your gratitude for her, so instead of letting the post-orgasm lull hit you, you grabbed her face with both hands and crashed your lips against hers. It's been so long since you've kissed someone intensely or even felt like this. Everything feels so heightened that it makes sense you blurted out, "I want to eat your pussy," in between a heated kiss.

It was only fair that you ate her out, and you were more than happy to end up between her legs. She laid down where you once did and you pried her legs open. She wore a skirt and the smallest panties you've ever seen.

"Did you know this was going to happen?"

"It wasn't for you," she admits, "but I'm glad you're the only one who's ever seen me wear something like this."

The fabric was so thin that her pussy almost swallowed it. It left nothing to the imagination and it was interesting to see Jenna wear something like this. With cheap material like that, it was easy for you to rip it off of her body. She squeals in amusement and sits up so she can watch you take the first lick of her needy pussy. Instantly her taste floods your senses. You feel her hand intertwine with yours as you begin to move your tongue across every inch of her swollen pussy. You loved how she felt against your tongue and you cursed yourself for not doing this last time. You lick and suck at her, producing the lewdest sounds imaginable. You hope the sound doesn't care in the soft breeze, but you also don't give a fuck anymore. The only thing you could think about was Jenna. You rub the underside of her thigh with your other hand and keep her legs nice and spread for you. She can't pull her eyes away no matter how fast it makes her heart pump.

"Y-You're so good at this," she whines.

You had put your ego away to show that you were sincere, but it was like she was calling it to come out. Hearing her praise you only made you work her pussy some more. You wrap your mouth around her clit and suck on it. The attention makes her shake and grab onto the back of your head. She pushes your face into your pussy as if you would even dare to move away. You wanted to leave in this moment forever; the moment where you lick and suck her while she moans in pleasure for you. You hum against her wet pussy and that sends her overboard. You feel the flow of cum drench the lower half of your face and you don't pull away until you lick up every drop.

It was all the desire she still felt inside of her that made Jenna crash her lips against yours for one more sloppy kiss. Her cum mixes with both of your saliva in a lewd way. Jenna never gets this nasty during sex but she did not care just like you didn't.

The sun has completely dipped over the horizon before you two finally calm down. You lay with back flat against the rug, staring up at the sky while Jenna grabs the remnants of the panties you ripped off of her.

"I accept your apology, Y/n," she says as when she finally joins you, laying her body next to yours.

"Thank you."

It's the last thing you said to her with just the two of you alone. She didn't wait to Friday to break up with Isaac, in fact she did it the next day. Jenna took the dissolving her relationship easier than Isaac did. Your mother used it as an excuse to do something that wouldn't require everyone to join now that there was some awkwardness to that. She would take you and Jenna shopping to have "girl time" aka time where she could rant about your father and blow off some steam. It seemed weird that her now ex-boyfriend's mother was still being so kind to her even though she wasn't obligated to, but she embraced it. You and her didn't get to talk much over your mother's new stories of life, but that was okay. You don't think this is going to be the last time you see Jenna.

[enviedear]

i've been going solo now ⟶ ben solo

description ⌙ when you get a distress signal from your dad and his life-long goon you're quick to try and come to their rescue. only problem? so is ben solo.

pairing ⌙ smuggler!ben solo x f!reader

warnings ⌙ childhood crush/frenemies turned adults with horrible communication skills, reader is the daughter of lando (biologically or not you decide), ben is a jerk, reader is a brat, petty arguments, forced proximity trope, inner conflict all the time, han and lando are just two pals getting into serious issues that their kids have to fix don't mind them (they're just mentioned), most likely incorrect knowledge of the falcon & starship parts, smuggler!ben solo au because that's canon to me, ben calls reader kid (affectionate, kinda), typos probabaly

word count ⌙ 4.1k

— request | masterlist

i just think ben solo is very much solo by future coded and i wanted to write about smuggler!ben and his smug attitude. special thanks to @crucifiedfaerie for letting me gush over this idea constantly in our dms <3

you never had the stomach for killing— the thought of it or the act itself. the notion of ending someone's life has always been abhorrent to you, leaving a sour sensation in your mouth that lingers long after the deed is done. but right now, you sit, filled with a growing and seemingly unstoppable rage that practically demands blood.

"don't even think about jumping into hyperspace, solo!" your voice is loud but erratic.

the black-haired man piloting the ship gives you a side eye, "and waste hours getting there? sure thing, kid."

you grip the co-pilot seat as hard as possible as he sends the absolutely geriatric ship into lightspeed. the force of it sends your head back onto the headrest, and you screw your eyes shut until the motion of the ship stills.

you've been flying with ben solo on the millennium falcon for a day and a half now, and this isn't even the first time you've wanted to kill him.

no, you'd harbored a hatred for ben solo for as long as you could remember. when you were little your father frequently left you in the care of the organa-solo's. any trip too risky for you to follow him on had you spending time on chandrila han and leia— and ben.

he was a few years older than you and so insufferable - spoiled rotten and full of mischief. the two of you would inevitably end up in scuffles over something, whether it be who got to shower first or which holovid show to watch. you often wondered how your father, han, or leia had managed to handle both of you. a hardheaded pair of troublemakers that needed little excuse to start bickering with one another.

but beneath it all, there had been another layer to your complex relationship with ben solo. even though you feigned anger whenever near him, deep down there had been an admiration growing since those early days spent together. your naive heart fluttered when he would absentmindedly flash his ever-present smirk in your direction. but you'd never admit or act upon any such feelings.

naviagting your crush had been difficult at first. especially having lando calrissian as a parent. you were forced to spend weeks around the source of your teen angst because of your father.

what use is a dad that can sweet-talk a jablogian if he can't fix your unwanted crush on his best friend's son.

you've cursed at his image in your mind every time you look at your ridiculous companion. if not for him, you wouldn't be with ben right now— you'd have never had the displeasure of his company.

you got away from the young solo, and most everyone else, for a good five years, hopping from planet to planet, picking up any honest work. which usually meant boring work— factory jobs, service stuff, a few instances of babysitting.

your life without ben solo is predictable and a little boring.

but you'd rather be bored than deal with the recklessness that becomes your life every time you see the smuggler.

but here you sit beside him, forced to spend an unknown amount of days with him until the both of you find your idiotic fathers.

you had gotten a rouge comm-link message from your dad just days ago. he sounded fine, voice still leisurely and warm, but it was his words that were worrisome, "han's got us in a bit of trouble, little star. would you mind coming to help your old man out? we're somewhere in the trilon sector— i'd try batuu first!"

when you got the message, your mind had gone into autopilot. you had rushed to comm leia, which had been a fatal mistake, as she had ordered her son to pick you up and accompany you. so now you're here, stuck with ben solo and his frightening flying.

"you know, dad should have warned me i'd be flying with a coward." ben's lips are curved into a grin, as usual with his teasing.

you whip your head in his direction, eyes ablaze, "well my father should have warned me that you've gotten even more annoying, somehow."

ben narrows his eyes, a stupid smirk still plastered to his face, "whatever you say, kid."

you feel your blood go hot, why he decided to start calling you kid, you didn't know, but you do know you hate it.

ben's barely your senior, only twenty-three years of age in comparison to your twenty. besides he behaves like an out-of-hand teen away.

"stop calling me that." you groan.

ben chuckles, "aw, what's the matter, kid? tired of following orders already?"

you grit your teeth, the way he talks down to you will forever get under your skin, "i don't take orders from you, solo."

"sure you do. you're on my ship, remember?" ben retorts, his eyes focused on the coordinates displayed to his left.

you cross your arms over your chest, "we're supposed to be working together to find han and my father and get them out of trouble, not bickering like children."

ben rolls his eyes, "it's not my fault you're so uptight."

you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. you can't afford to lose your temper and start a fight, not when you're relying on him to get you to your destination safely. so, you force a smile, "look, can we just be civil? we're both here because we care about our dads and want to help them."

ben's expression softens a little, "fine. but if you start nagging at me again, i can't promise i won't call you kid."

you roll your eyes, "deal. now, can you tell me more about what's going on? my dad was pretty vague in his message."

ben hums, "same with mine. all i know is that lando got mixed up in some kind of shady deal, and now he's in trouble with a gang of criminals called the ninth sun. my mom's been trying to negotiate with them, but they're not ones to bend the knee."

you groan, "of course not. what's the plan?"

he shakes a stray black strand of hair from his eye, "no plan, just find them and go from there."

"lovely, that's totally going to work," you bite your lip, "oh and, it was han who made the sketch deal, not my dad."

ben shrugs, "and who told you that?" he rests his elbow on the armrest and brings his hand to his chin, "lando?"

you clench your fists, "let's just focus on finding them. no need to dwell on the semantics."

ben glances at you and for a moment, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes. something other than his usual teasing, mischievous demeanor, but it's gone as quickly as it came and he turns back to the console.

the ship hums steadily beneath you, and the silence between you two stretches on, broken only by the occasional beep from the controls. you fidget in your seat, uncomfortable with the unfamiliar hush. you've never been around ben so long without saying anything, and you're about to speak up before he interrupts you.

"we'll have to make a pit stop, i need to refuel." his voice sounds tired.

you nod, "alright. any nearby planets we can stop at?"

ben checks the navicomputer, "yeah, there's one a couple of light years away. i've been there before, it's not too bad."

"okay solo, lead the way." you say, leaning back in your seat.

as he pilots the ship toward the destination, you can't help but study him from the corner of your eye. he's changed since the last time you saw him. the boy who used to pull your hair and steal your toys has grown into a man. he's lean and toned with longer hair, still as sable black as ever. it falls into his eyes, despite how much he wills it not to, giving him a slightly disheveled look that you can't help but find attractive.

you rue the thoughts plaguing your own mind.

the embarrassment you used to feel over your crush has come back ten-fold. the feeling shocks you. he's trying to act all suave and mature, but you know deep down that he's still the same old ben who annoyed the life out of you. you can feel the familiar tug in your heart every time he speaks, and you know he can't have changed much over the years. not when he's making you feel just like you're fourteen again.

but there is something different about him now. maybe it's the way he pilots the ship with ease– no longer the boy who'd cover his ears ar take off, or maybe it's just the way his muscles flex under his tight-fitting shirt. he's almost mesmerizing.

it's clear that he's been doing this for a long time, navigating the stars all alone with nothing but his shitty attitude and perfect hair. you find yourself marveling over him, sure and smooth, his hands deftly moving over the controls.

ever the realist, you try to shake off the feeling, but it's proving difficult. you feel a strange urge to preserve your current addiction.

as you watch him fly, you feel a fixation building within you. it's a sentiment you haven't felt in years, not felt since the last time you saw him.

you try to push the feeling down, knowing that it's not the time to have those kinds of thoughts. you're supposed to be focused on finding your fathers and not getting killed by some lethal syndicate, not lusting after your childhood nemesis.

you feel wrong stealing glances at him, trying to understand what's changed and why you're feeling this way. you're towing a dangerous, line. especially if those feelings are inspired by ben organa-solo.

finally, after what feels like hours, you arrive at the refueling station. as soon as ben lands the ship, you stretch your legs inside the falcon, looking out at the new scenery. the planet is bathed in the evening light, and the scene around you is wide awake. the station itself is a bustling hub of activity, with all kinds of alien species milling about.

ben leads the way to the fueling station, where he begins filling up the ship's tanks. you stand by the ship's entrance, people-watching. your eyes find ben's figure again, and you let them stall. when he looks your way, you advert your gaze and step out of the falcon, swiftly approaching him.

the evening air is cool as it hits your skin. this planet is a strange one, with vibrant purple plants and thick, white fog swirling around. but you don't pay too much attention to it, your eyes are locked on ben.

he's leaning against the ship, checking over the fuel meter with a frown on his face. you walk over to him and clear your throat, expecting to get his attention.

he looks up at you, eyes meeting your own. you feel your heart skip a beat, and you curse yourself for being soft for him.

"you know, you didn't have to follow me out here." he mumbles, hand coming to brush the hair from his eyes.

you hum, "i didn't have anything better to do."

he ignores you and looks back at the fuel gauge, his eyebrows furrow, "i found something for you to do." his voice is monotone, but you're all too familiar with the subtle cut of annoyance within.

"what does that mean?" you own voice comes out a bit too anxious.

ben groans before looking at you, "one of the damn tanks has a leak— i told chewie to fix that weeks ago." he follows up his words with a few curses before kicking the faulty gas tank.

you roll your eyes, "can't we just get another one? i'm sure if we go inside someone would know where we could get another one."

"the problem isn't finding one," he tsks at you, "the problem is that this tank has been leaking fuel into the beacon finder. without that, we're never finding our dear old dads."

your heart sinks. you had been so sure that you would find your dad quickly, but now it looks like that might not be the case. "so, what do you suggest we do?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

"i'll have to fix the beacon," he sighs, "luckily i have the tools for it, but i need to find one more part, and with the sun setting soon…" he trails off, letting his silence complete the sentence for him.

you take in a deep breath at his implication. you can tell what he is suggesting without explicitly stating it.

you will be stuck on this planet with him tonight and forced to share the same cramped room. you thank god for separate cots, at least.

you try to ignore the warmth creeping up your ears, but you know that it's a losing battle. you haven't shared a room with ben solo since you were kids, endless unwilling sleepovers at each other's houses. but those instances were filled with innocent pranks and arguments, not the tension and longing glances you've found yourself giving him.

"alright," you say, trying to keep your voice even, "we'll just get the part and fix the beacon. the faster we fix this, the faster we can find our fathers and get back to our lives." you move towards the entrance of the fueling station, wanting to put space between you and ben.

"you mean so you can get back to your life." he calls out to you, and you look back at him only to be met with contempt in his brown eyes, "the one where you avoid me."

you give him a sharp eye roll before making your way toward a small gaggle of vendors, much more interested in finding this part. ben follows closely behind you, and you can feel the weight of his stare on the back of your head.

you're at a loss as to why ben solo would ever care that you've been avoiding him for the last five years. the ben you remember would've never batted an eye. when did that change?

you find a vendor selling the part that ben needs, and you both split the payment before heading back to the falcon. ben sets to work on the beacon, and you sit nearby, supposedly looking over the coordinates but mostly watching him work.

there's an abnormal sense of calm that fills you as you watch him. concentration is etched on his face, lips bitten bright red. you can't help but admire him, not for the sake of not trying.

you're brought back to reality when he starts cursing under his breath, "what's wrong?" you ask, moving closer to him.

"this damn thing won't budge," he grunts, trying to pry apart two pieces of the beacon.

you move to his side, peering down at the device. his breath is hot on your cheek, and you feel an urge to shiver. trying to focus on the task at hand you take a few breaths.

your eyes keep drifting to his lips, the way they move when he curses. you shake your head, trying to clear the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. "let me help," you offer, reaching for one of the tools he's using.

he hands it to you, and you lean in closer, your sides pressed together as you work the tool. you can feel his heat exuding into you, a warmth that isn't just from the planet's humid air. you try to focus, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. every time he moves, you catch a whiff of his scent, musky and rich, and your mind starts to wander to places it shouldn't.

finally, after what feels like an eternity, the piece pops free, and ben lets out a sigh of relief. he turns to you, a small smile on his face, and you can't help but smile back. his eyes lock onto yours, and suddenly, the air between you is charged with something foreign.

you let your tone come out sardonic, "looks like i saved the day. you're welcome, solo."

ben tilts his head, eyes narrowing, "you're a brat, kid."

"i thought i told you to stop calling me that." you want to hit him.

"i said i had a condition," he pauses, arms coming to either side of you, palms pressing into the falcon's floor, effectively trapping you against him, "a condition you just broke. so you're back to kid, kid."

you feel your resolve slipping, "you're the worst. you always have been, and i can see now that will never change."

he has the audacity to let out an amused breath, "if you're going to say shit like that, at least mean it."

your brows furrow, "pardon me? as if i don't mean that."

his hands creep from the ground and to your hips, you gasp as he pulls you in closer. if he were anyone else, you'd expect him to kiss you next, but he's not anyone else. so instead, he cranes down and whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "i know you want me," he growls, his fingers digging into your clothed flesh. "don't act like you don't,"

you're completely caught off guard, and before you can respond, he's pulling away from you and grabbing the beacon. you watch in silent horror as he makes for the falcon's exit, leaving you confused on the floor.

you sit there, rooted to the spot, your mind and body in turmoil. you know if you follow him you'd just be throwing yourself into a petty or embarrassing altercation.

what did he mean by that anyway? how could he possibly know?

taking a steadying breath, you turn away from your seat and make for the other side of the ship. you need to keep yourself busy until nighttime, and you know that there's some maintenance to do on one of the storage bays. when you get there, however, it's already been taken care of. your fists clench in frustration as you realize ben must have done it earlier.

you start searching around the ship for any other tasks that might help keep your mind off things and pass the time more quickly- checking cords, tidying up shelves or going through supplies lists so nothing gets low.

the hours seem to stretch on endlessly despite how much work you manage to do, and all too soon darkness begins to fill the sky outside of the cockpit windows. with a heavy sigh, you head back towards where you and ben had been working earlier. he's back now, tinkering away with the beacon as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you earlier— as if his words hadn't sent a tremble down your spine and confused the emotions tumbling through your mind.

you catch an expectant glance from him when he finally notices your presence. you're sure he's expecting you to say something to him. maybe he wants you to yell.

you don't say anything though, instead offering only a terse nod before checking the endless cords around you.

your fingers move quickly and expertly over the tangled cords, your mind too preoccupied to focus on anything else. but you can feel his gaze on you, burning through the back of your skull like a branding iron. his presence is suffocating and you know that if you don't get a handle on your emotions soon, you'll combust.

eventually, you're so lost in thought that you almost miss the soft footfalls approaching you. you turn to see ben standing beside you, his eyes locked onto yours. the air between you is thick with strain, unspoken words, and feelings. there are so many things you want to say to him, but you don't know where to begin.

"so," his voice breaks through the silence like a blaster shot. "when are we going to talk about it?"

you hear the depth in his baritone voice and it's all you can do to keep your face neutral, your thoughts collected, "talk about what?" you ask, even though you know perfectly well what he's referring to.

"about me and you," he says, voice low but insistent, "or we can just keep ignoring it. the tension seems to be getting us pretty far."

your expression shifts as you take in his words, the longing that had been coiled in so tightly before now coming to the surface. you can feel yourself flustering under the intensity of his watch but you refuse to look away, instead lifting your chin higher and narrowing your eyes.

"there is no us, solo," you say firmly, though your voice is riddled with a hint of something else entirely, "there never has been, and never will be."

ben seems unfazed by your words, his eyes steady and intense. "you say that," he says, his voice softening. "but i know you better than anyone else. and i know there's some part of you that actually likes me. i bet it pisses you off, doesn't it?"

he's right— it does piss you off that your heart can't seem to let him go. no matter how annoying you find him, he's beautiful and confident. and he does know you better than anyone. he knows what buttons to press and how hard. with ben, there's always the thrill of how perceptive he is— that he can see through the walls of anger and indifference you try so hard to build up around yourself.

you can feel your will crumbling under his words, your heart throbbing in your chest, but still, you push back, "even if there is something there, solo," you say, your voice shaking slightly, "it doesn't change anything. we're two different people living two very different lives."

ben smirks, "you don't know anything about my life."

you let your eyes roll, "as if the life you lead is some kind of mystery," you take a deep breath, "i mean, what's to know? you fly alone, smuggle, and rack up credits. that's your life, solo."

he hums, right hand finding a home beside your head on the wall, "you know me so well, kid. you should write a book."

you feel inexplicably hot, "maybe i will. a long book of all the reasons you piss me off."

he doesn't respond, just looks down at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. he pushes himself from the wall and you, twisting and letting his back hit the durasteel wall. his face is turned to you, eyes downcast.

"you know," he says finally, breaking the silence, "i remember when we were kids, it was always you who used to be the one to instigate. you probably don't remember it that way, but i do, and i loved it. you never hesitated. you were fearless."

you look at him incredulously, wondering what this has to do with anything. but he continues, "you were the only girl that would play with me, and not just that, the only one that could beat me. but then one day you just stopped. you ignored me completely."

you stiffen, unwilling to admit even through body language that he might be right. a pre-teen you found avoiding your ben sized crush the most viable option. you just never thought he'd care.

he continues, eyes unwavering from yours, "you used to look at me like i was the only person that mattered. and then, you just stopped. it's was like… like you had something to hide."

it's like he can read your mind because he reaches out and grasps your wrist in his hand. his touch is nice against your skin, sending a comfortable feel through your veins.

"i miss you, the girl who wasn't afraid of liking me," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "and i want you to admit that you miss me too."

you struggle to find words, to make sense of everything inside of you, but before you can speak, his lips are on yours. his kiss is hot and demanding, and instinctively lean into him, body melting against his in perfect harmony. his hands slide around your waist and hold you close as the kiss deepens, and you can feel all of the frustrations of the past slipping away. when he finally pulls back, his eyes are bright with emotion and a hint of a smile graces his lips.

he looks down at you for a moment before speaking in a low voice, "you want me to do that again?" he steps closer to you and cups your face in his hands, his eyes twinkling with amusement. you can feel the warmth radiating from his body and if it weren't for his strong arms around you, you would have melted into a puddle.

you nod slowly in agreement, too lost in the moment to say anything else. he leans down and brushes his lips against your cheek before pulling away completely, "then be honest. right here, right now. you like me."

you screw your eyes shut, basking in the shame of being found out, "i like you, solo. i like you a lot, but if you don't get off your pedestal and kiss me again i'll withdraw the opportunity."

he gazes down at you with an expression that's tender yet mischievous all at once. "i like you too," he whispers before chuckling lightly, you open your eyes to see.

his dimples are on full display, and for a second, he's the spirit of the little brat you fell in love with all those years ago. "c'mere, kid." his voice is soft as he pulls you back into him, lips meeting yours.

[oceansssblue]

Hello, I hope that you are having an amazing day. If requests are still open, I have a funny Star Wars prompt/or/oneshot if you want. You know how in Top Gun, after Maverick flirts with a lady at a bar, only to find out the next day that she is his superior officer. What about a similar situation in the Clone Wars era, in which one of the members of the Bad Batch, or one of the 501st like Fives, flirts with a female Jedi reader (who's probably in her early twenties) at the 79s, not knowing that she is a Jedi General. Only to find out the next day that she is the Jedi General assigned to them for their next mission.

Her appearance in the bar makes her look nothing like a Jedi. She just looks like a civilian until she is in her jedi robes the next day. She doesn't deliberately deceive them or anything. She just wanted to unwind after an undercover mission. She just didn't think bringing up that she is a Jedi was important, she assumed they already knew. The only hint she gave on their "date" night was a happy and playful "see you tomorrow" as they part ways to get to their respective homes/barracks. She is happy to see them the next day.

Cool fun little oneshot! Decided to go with Crosshair, seems more like his thing.

Hope you like it!

Xx,

Sky.

"SEE YOU TOMORROW"

CROSSHAIR/F REDADER 📩💖

WARNINGS: ALCOHOL, FLIRTING&TEASING.

Your muscles still ache after a two year undercover mision in Alcaz. Spending long hours of running and hiding in the capital will do that to anyone; even a Jedi. Your first mision with the Order started years ago; even if you're still young right now. Everyone starts early these days; you went from youngling to padawan and Jedi Knight in just a blink of an eye. The war makes you feel older than what you really are.

It's weird being back in Coruscant. Back in a normal setting were you don't need to constantly be aware of your surroundings –even if it's instinctual, now–; where you're not constantly in danger. Entering 79's, your eyes quickly flickering over the crowd of tipsy clones and the dance floor, a tiny smile makes it up to your face. You feel inmediately relieved, somehow. You don't need to pretend here. You don't need to be a soldier, a Jedi Knight, a General. You don't have responsabilities and lifes dangling from your shoulders. Here, right now, you can just be you, a simple girl in her twenty-two's.

Happy smile still in your face, you make your way towards the bar. You order a sweet drink light on the alcohol side to start with; turning around and taking small sips while you scan the bar distractedly. There's a few eyes on you already. Not because you're necesarily pretty –though you believe yourself to look alright–; but simply necause you're one of the few natives around here, and more so a woman. Clones will always be ever the gentleman, it's ingrained in their discipline, their sense of honor; but they're still men, real humans, and they have urges like everyone else. Like Jedis do, too, no matter what many people think.

You're not really in the mood for sex, though. You're too tired for that; your plan is to spend a few hours drinking and chatting and then return to the Temple. You've got a meeting tomorrow, and you should make sure you get your well deserved, comfortable sleep. You're almost drooling thinking of a bed already, but you'd like to unwind a bit first; even though your body is tired, you feel your mind too active to surrender to dreamland yet. Plus, you need to disconect from your previous mision and adapt to your new situation; to the new changes.

A few troopers that you had the chance to meet before starting your jump around the galaxy to serve to the Jedi and the Republic recognises you, and you quickly find yourself chatting amicably in a booth with them. They're kind, and perfectly respectful; they speak to you as if you were a normal person, though –not a general, not a Jedi–, and you soon fall into a relaxed posture and a lazy smile. None of you speak about war, about their fears and worries; but of hopes and desires, jokes and secret lovers that await for them patiently all over Coruscant. Some look flustered after realising they've confessed such things in front of you; but you just shake your head and smile. You're glad they're finding some happiness wherever they can.

On your third drink in –and probably the last one, judging by your flushed cheeks and the low hum of carefree excitement & arousal spreading inside of you– you feel another stare on you. It's heavy, it's intent so clear it's almost screaming at you; and you listen to your Jedi instincts, eyes slowly flickering around the bar to find it's owner.

You come up with a pair of dark brown eyes. They're the exact same shade of most of the clones in the GAR; and yet, it's stare so much more intense. It could almost cut through you and hit someone on the other side.

You study him curiously in the same way he has been observing you before. Even sitting down in a booth with some other soldiers, you can tell he's taller than most; the shape of his body and muscles long and thin, agile, though still strong. It's impossible not to notice the tattoo around his right eye; it fits him well, really. What surprises you most about him –besides his stare– is his hair, though; a mix of greys so pretty it almost shines under the lights of the 79's.

He's still dressed up on armour, like a lot of other soldiers on the bar. His is black and grey with a few stripes of dark red; a white skull with a "99" underneath it on his right pauldron. It's right then and there when you understand who he is, who they are; and your eyes twinkle in amusement, your smile widening. This is Clone Force 99, the squad that will be under your command. The Council told you they were different, that they had special abilities very useful for battles; but they fail to mention you they were literally, physically different as well.

You understand... Crosshair's –he must be– cautious and curious study then; he might be wanting to find out who exactly their new General is, and how does she behave when she's not on duty like everyone else.

You shoot him a grin and Crosshair's neutral, almost uniterested face turns into a smirk. He arches an eyebrow, and makes a gesture with his head; a welcome for you to join them in their table. You nod and say your goodbyes to the troopers; smiling and shooting one or two more playful comments before making your way across the room, walking confidently to this squad of extraordinary men.

"Hey there, boys" you greet them, deciding for informality in order to not spoil their night of fun from the start. "Care if I join?"

There's various reactions around the table. Crosshair looks amused. Echo and Tech are purely surprised –the later one quickly scanning you almost as if trying to find information about you with just his eyes–; while Hunter looks hesitant. Wrecker is openly excited and happy.

"Yeah, take a sit!" He pushes his brothers to one side, making room for you in the circular booth their sitting in, ignoring the other's quiet, pained grunts.

They all look a little tipsy too.

You chuckle and take the offer, letting down your drink on top of the table and sitting besides Wrecker. Crosshair arches his eyebrow again, still finding amusing how you seem confident enough in a table –a bar– surrounded by men. He likes confidence in a woman, but such levels are a bit more rare.

"Comfortable?" He asks, his voice deep and smooth, almost a lazy drawl, and you grin back at him.

"Very" you answer, emphasising your answer by taking a long sip of your alcohol and laying lazily against the booths backrest.

After holding his stare for a few seconds, you turn your attention back to the rest of the group; scanning them curiously. They do de same with you.

"So, didn't have time to do a change of clothes?" You point out. "Did you come back from a mission today, or is this just an night outfit choice?"

Wrecker laughs, will Echo and Hunter show a tiny smile. Tech is completely serious still, lost in his thoughts without tearing his eyes from you. Crosshair also stares at you.

"We came back from a mission a pair of hours ago, yeah" Hunter finally answers, relaxing slowly. "Thought we should enjoy a bit of freedom before getting back to work tomorrow".

His voice is deep as well; a bit more soft yet raspy.

"Ah" you answer, smiling guiltily. "Got it. Well, I'm not going to cut out your fun, no worries. Feel free to drink and chat as much as you like. Also... This is still a good fit. Beautiful armour, guys".

This time Tech blushes, Echo clears his throat in silence and Wrecker, Hunter, and Crosshair, all smile widely. Ah, yes, you forgot; armours are precious to all Mandalorians, including clones, and you could have very well call them...

"So you think we're hot? That it?" Crosshair drawls, eyes interested.

You laugh shrugging your shoulders. Yeah, well, you might be a little too tipsy. This is definitely your last drink if you want to keep things professional. Force knows if you weren't a Jedi and this weren't your men you'd have had already tried to take one of them home. Huh, it seems you're not as tired as you thought.

"Pretty" you correct him, if only to mock him a bit and play with him.

Crosshair's stare darkens and you can feel his arousal and want calling you through the Force.

You smile down playing with the rim of your glass distractedly, and feeling a sudden wave of shyness. Alcohol is a dangerous thing.

The thought makes you giggle a bit.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The night goes on, and you switch to a non-alcohol drink as promised to yourself. The conversation turns normal and more easy as the clock ticks by; all of them being very interesting, fun people to chat with. Crosshair and Echo are more reserved than the rest; different types of quiet observing and thoughtfullness. You suspect the second one isn't as comfortable with your presence as the rest –while you have no doubt that that wouldn't suppose a problem in battlefield, you know he's an excellent soldier–; while Crosshair... Crosshair's intentions are still quite clear.

He's bold, you have to say. Most troopers wouldn't want to risk being reported for misconduct even if they know most Jedis would just gently shut their intentions down if it were the case. Clones usually don't want to risk it; though it's evident that Crosshair doesn't think you will or plainly, doesn't care.

It doesn't bother you. He's attractive, and it feels good to be desired; you're a Jedi, but you're also just twenty-two, and you can't help it yourself. Still, you're nothing but polite to him, if only a bit of playfullness here and there. You're not going to go to bed with him, not before your oficial meeting; not while you can still resist.

You sigh with a smile.

"Well, boys, it has been a pleasure" you start, standing up and patting Wrecker's shoulder besides you. "But I think I'm gonna go and try to shut an eye. Have your fun without me, see you tomorrow!"

Tech eyes widen slightly, observing your retreating figure while Crosshair makes a move to follow you out of 79's.

Tech grabs his brother's shoulder and pulls him back down, ignoring Crosshair's almost snarl.

"She expressed her desire to go to sleep, Crosshair. Let her be" he opted to say, still not 100% sure of his theory before proving it with a quick search on his datapad.

Crosshair sighed and gulped down the remaining of his drink.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

No matter that the Batch had left 79's pretty late in the night, they were all rised and prepared to meet their new General at 0600 puntually. Their faces carried nag under their eyes and various degrees of tiredness; but they weren't being shipped anywhere, so there was no real problem with that. It was just a formal meeting so they could put a face to the name and greet each other; then they'll be left alone to enjoy the rest of their shore-leave day.

"I hope she's nice!" commented Wrecker while they waited up in a line in front of the Marauder.

Hunter hummed.

"I just hope she lets us do our thing" he muttered, clearly not very happy about the new placement.

None of them were particularly enthusiastic; they had never had a personal Jedi General before, and it would be a big change for everyone involved.

"I am confident she will" answered Tech, perhaps the only one holding positive thoughts about it. "I have thoroughly researched our General in the early hours of the morning and she has an impressive record on undercover missions and other side tasks. It seems she is usually sent on unusual requests as well, just like us. In adition, she is fairly easy going. I am positive we would all be able to adapt to each other well".

Right when Wrecker was going to ask with a deep frown etched on his face how did he know she was as "easy-going" as Tech affirmed, a female figure crossed the doors of the hangar walking towards them with wide confident steps.

Wrecker's, Echo's and Hunter's faces stared back in shock; while Tech nodded firmly as if he were explaining something to them, and Crosshair followed the young Jedi's movement full of intrigue and a masked surprise.

"Morning, troopers!" She greeted them, still a few meters away from them.

Her smile was radiant in the greyness of the hangar bay.

Crosshair leaned towards the smartest of his brothers, subtle.

"Punishment for fucking your Jedi General?" he asked in a distracted whispered, eyes never leaving the woman aproaching them.

Tech answered completely unbothered by his antics; posture firm.

"From an informal reprimand to proper decomissioning".

Crosshair smirked.

"I'll risk it".

He arched an eyebrow in amused defiance when she looked straight at him.

THE END.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taraaa! Here it is love, hope you like it! It was a little fun cheeky thing to write :)

Not checked after finishing writing it cause I have exam tomorrow and still got a few finals left, but I hope I didn't make a lot of mistakes!

Only two more requests left before I jump onto another tbb Mermaid fic. Don't worry, yall, I will reopen requests the future, just let me survive my exams first ;)

Stay tunned!

Xx,

Sky.

Back to masterlist here:

[armandposting]

sybelle & benji primer

for those who would prefer not to put themselves through The Vampire Armand

who are sybelle and benji? the short answer is that they are two humans that armand effectively adopts after killing sybelle's abusive brother. they help armand recover after his suicide attempt and come with him when he goes to see lestat in his devil-coma (don't worry about it). armand's intent with them has always been to protect them while they live out their human lives, but he leaves them with marius while telling his life story to david talbot and marius turns them, whcih devastates armand.

but also, sybelle is a 25 year old disabled pianist and benji is a 12 year old trafficked Bedouin boy from Palestine who chainsmokes. so there's kind of a lot going on there.

[prefacing this by saying it's possible benji and sybelle were first introduced in memnoch the devil but I haven't finished my reread of that yet and I don't remember, so this all comes from the vampire armand and what i remember of the prince lestat trilogy]

to skim over a bunch of semi-relevant plot, at the end of memnoch the devil armand tries to kill himself by flying into the sun because lestat got to make out with Thee Jesus and armand didn't. as he's getting burned up he has several semi-hallucinatory side quests, one of which is sybelle and benji.

sybelle, like I said, is a concert pianist, and has some sort of developmental or neuro disability that anne doesn't specify. you could interpret it as autism or psychosis related to PTSD or depression or any number of things, but when we meet her she is fixated on the Appassionata piano sonata, and plays it constantly. she is with her abusive older brother, who took over her care after their parents died, and Benjamin Mahmoud (benji), a young boy that her brother essentially bought to help take care of her. sybelle struggles with eating, dressing herself, speaking, etc, though this is all much improved later on after the brother is dead. Armand hears benji praying for something to save sybelle from the brother, who is trying to haul her off the piano and beat her, and benji is worried will kill her. Armand steps in and kills the brother. benji celebrates, sybelle goes back to the piano, and armand basically immediately falls in love with them both, but he has a suicide attempt to finish, so he gets swept off.

armand eventually lands on a rooftop, burned to a crisp and quickly becomes stuck in the snow and ice. he continues to hear sybelle's playing and benji talking to him (benji calls him angel at first, later dybbuk-- notable funny bit is that benji, not knowing what happened to armand, tries to persuade him back by saying he has plenty of good cigarettes and then complaining that armand left them this dead body to deal with. if theres one thing about benji mahmoud it's that he is not fazed by jack or shit). eventually armand realizes that he is not going to die any time soon and calls out to benji for help.

benji and sybelle rescue armand from the rooftop- he tries to telepathically shield how terrible he looks from them, but sybelle catches on that doing so is draining for him and tells him to stop. they're not afraid of his crusty ass and set him up in their hotel room (sybelle has endless trust fund money from her parents). they have to get a guy for armand to drink so he can heal, so benji lures a guy with the promise that there's coke under the "dead body" on the bed. yes, benji does come up with this plan. armand thinks it's hilarious. made for each other. it's notable that both benji and sybelle are daniel-style weird little freaks who want to watch armand do murders; the only difference is it's not a sex thing for them.

with armand recovered, sybelle and benji accompany him to come see lestat, where as I mentioned armand leaves them with marius for safekeeping and marius turns them. the consent here is... complicated. in terms of vampire etiquette, arguably marius absolutely should not have done this, as sybelle and benji were under armands protection. also just as a guy who is aware that this option is abhorrent to armand, someone marius still considers his child (eugh yuck etc), marius should not have done this. on the human end, sybelle at least was definitely old enough to consent, older than half the main vampires are when they're turned. benji would be really really offended if you said he wasn't old enough (much like amadeo) but also... he is literally 12. he's been through some shit for sure but he is 12. personally I'm going to go with under no circumstances should marius have done that. but sybelle and benji are happy about it and see it as a way to be a family with armand forever and armand does his best to not let his anguish bring the mood down.

and that's basically what happens. benji and sybelle go with armand between trinity gate and the court in auvergne. in the PL books, sybelle continues to play music, often with the other vampire musicians that have gathered at lestat's court, and benji starts the world's first vampire podcast.

other random facts:

benji mostly wears djellabas, and when the guy he brings to armand to kill is racist to him about it he says "sure, just call me Lawrence of arabia" and promptly feeds the guy to armand

benji also is fascinated by how armand looks all shriveled up ("I could take a lesson in muscles from looking at you") and sybelle has to tell him to focus on the whole luring a drug dealer to their hotel room thing at hand

for some reason anne thought that armand should mention that sybelle has breasts at like, every opportunity. it's one of those times when you're actually glad she didn't write more women because when she does she is so weird about it

in the PL books when interacting with Marius, benji also calls him master like armand does (Jacob Anderson voice eugh yuck!)

sybelle's reaction to watching crispy armand drain a dude while saying armand-typical creepy shit is to say "magnificent" and benji's is to say "bad guy, huh?"

armand thinks of the whole of telling his story in TVA as being for benji and sybelle, but particularly sybelle. he describes it more than once as his "symphony for sybelle."

Marius has a rare moment of self reflection after armand screams at him for turning the two, where he says "You loved them selflessly. For all their strange faults, and wild evil, they were not compromised for you. You loved them perhaps more respectfully than I… than I ever loved you." not a high bar my man!

anyway I think that's it, at least as much as I can remember without doing any text searches outside of TVA. they're weird little freaks and I love them very much though as usual there are many things about them I wish anne had done just a little differently!

[tw1l1te]

I didn't know you took asks! If it doesn't go against your rules, could you write a yandere reader trying to hide their more possesive/obsession side from the chain (Wind being seen as a younger brother, ofc), only to figure out they are all equally as obsessed with them? There's not enough yandere reader in the world 😔

Take care of yourself, and drink some water if you haven't in a long while ♥

Why have I never considered this. Like-

⊹ ࣪ ˖

Ok so like I envision this working well with a modern!reader/guide, since well, y'know, Zelda's a pretty large franchise in the gaming industry and in general

Reader has been a fan since they were young, maybe starting at the ages of 6-8 and have played through most, if not all of, the Zelda games. They become obsessed with the lore, characters, possible theories, the timeline, Link.

So if they land in Hyrule of all places one night? They are searching.

It doesn't take long though, its almost fate considering how fast the Chain find the reader.

Obviously the reader tries not to seem overly jumpy/fan-like, so they shut away their thoughts for now, trying to gain their trust

They are honest about how they're not from any of their Hyrule's, and eventually tell them about the franchise but don't tell them about the fact you've spent so much time, money and energy on them.

It takes another while for them to get used to that idea, but Reader was honest, so why wouldn't they trust them?

The growing bond, of course, causes... feelings, or rather more extreme feelings, to bubble up.

Longing smiles turn to sitting next to each other turn to holding hands turn to cuddles-

Reader's so jittery. Like, they've been waiting months for this to happen since they first met the Chain. And now that they are getting into romantic territory? There's no going back.

Once the Chain collectively admit their feelings to yandere!Reader, Reader is locked in. They get so overprotective, Wind in particular, as they view him as their little brother. Nothing can ever hurt him again.

Constantly cuddling or touching someone.

A reckless accident happens, mostly by your instigation, as something was going to harm Time and you had tunnel vision. This life was the one thing you wanted, and you wouldn't let a measly Lynel take away a part of it.

The battle was bloody, some of the Chain looking at Reader in shock in love after the battle, blood caked onto their chin, hands, anywhere that wasn't covered in clothing. They burst out crying, admiting to how attached and bonded they felt to each one of them and that they wren't going to let any more harm come to any of them.

They all had a bit of whiplash to how genuine and terrifying you sounded, but... they couldn't say they felt any different.

After all, they watched you when you slept, softly cooing at you when you were in the process of waking up or if you were having a nightmare

Wolfie was always with you, watching looking over you.

Wild almost always made your favorites, occasionaly adding some sleeping elixir to your portion so you could catch up on lost sleep so he could brush through your locks.

Time never allowed you to go anywhere alone, most times accompanying you to protect you, to be there with you.

Wind clung onto you, viewing you as his older sister/brother/sibling. He needed you there when the memories or nightmares came back in the night, petting his hair and singing a lullaby from his home.

The mutual attraction made it so much easier, for both you and the boys! No one had to worry about running away or leaving because they were never going to.

You were bonded forever.

⊹ ࣪ ˖

[angel-of-the-moons]

Please, I am begging you, a scrap more of Naga!Leto, a crumb, a TASTE.

(Please know I am just being dramatic, I know your requests are closed, I'm not actually asking or expecting anything, I just wanted to know I have naga!leto brainrot right now and I love you <3)

Hehehehhe I am so glad you liked it! So here's a couple lil headcanons about Naga!Leto!

Headcanons about Naga!Leto.

TW/CW: Fluffy stuff, Smut, NSFW Headcanons, Leto is a tad possessive but most nagas are, egg stuff!

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: Lmao would you believe I am actually writing this shit at a church rn. I am so blasphemous. Forgive me sky daddy, I've been bad uwu

Divider by @/plum98

SFW:

Leto, as a naga, is very very into physical affection. Be it public or private. Your body as a human runs warmer than his does, so you can often find him holding your hand--or, if he catches you lounging in the sun--laying on you, his arms wrapped firmly around your waist as he begins to drift off for a blissful nap.

He will always make sure you're fed. Nagas don't typically eat much. They always will eat large meals once to three times a month. It isn't unheard of for them to skip meals for one or two months. But Leto knows humans aren't like that. So catch him sneaking you snacks, or bringing you dinner to enjoy privately in your bedchambers.

His bed is massive. If he were human, it could fit the two of you plus five other people at least. It has to be large, for him not only to share with you, but to make room for his long serpentine lower half to coil up.

Speaking of coils, Leto will sometimes sleep at the foot of the bed, his upper body straight up with his head tipped back against the soft cushions of his bed, his coils wrapped loosely on the floor. During days that are too hot for you, he will let you sleep in the mass of cool scales, his lower temperature being almost like an ice-pack for you--whilst your body heat is wonderful for him. A win-win.

Swimming. Deep beneath his palace, there is a deep reservoir of water. It is the only way they have survived all these centuries, tapping into the underground rivers and bathing in the mineral-rich water. Leto is an avid swimmer, moving like lightning when he is in the water.

If you are swimming with him, Leto will take the pace slower, letting you drift alongside him or hold on to him to let him pull you along like some sort of gorgeous missile.

Loves your laughter, any joyous sound coming from you is music to his ears.

The only thing that could rival your voice; is the voice of his children. The babies that came from the eggs you so dutifully carried within you.

When you "clutch" the eggs, as the Naga call it, Leto is by your side alone. Laying a clutch is something deeply personal, deeply intimate. Shared typically between mates, or even their older children if they are comfortable with it. He will rub your back, cradle you in his coils and catch every egg that comes from you, placing it carefully within the small creche he himself built for you.

Is insanely territorial around you and the eggs/babies. The moment he was positive the eggs were fertile, Leto hovered around you like flies around fruit. He didn't mean to hover, not at all, but it was simply his instincts telling him to be ready to defend his mate as you carried his future offspring.

When the eggs are snug perfectly in their little creche, kept safe and warm, Leto is constantly on the verge of lunging towards them if he senses anything's amiss.

Oh, Naga eggs squeak, when they're about to hatch by the way. The moment he heard them begin to shake and squeak in the dead of night, he awoke you excitedly and you both shared the quiet, loving moment of your firstborn together poking a tiny chubby hand or tail through the shell of their egg.

When the babies hatch? Oh, the man is over the moon. He adores them, as much as you. Immediately brings his older children to see their new siblings; coo'ing and letting them slither all over them as they investigate these new people and form their familial bonds.

Nagas tend to carry their children around with them in slings; warm and cosy so they can nap during important affairs in the event he believes you need a break.

If you have the babies, however, Leto will gladly come straight to the five of you, scooping all of you up in his arms to deliver kisses.

Loves your body; even in the aftermath of the babies. Will kiss every stretch mark and apply body oil to ease and dryness or cracks in your delicate skin; so much softer and delicate than his own.

(NSFW UNDER THE CUT)

NSFW:

Leto prefers to have sex with you cradled against him, safely propped in his coils for him to move you as he wishes.

Will not object if you wish to be on top, he loves watching you bounce and ride his cock as though it were the only thing keeping you alive.

Adores your breasts. Naga females usually tend not to have them; only those with a little but of human ancestry will have them as a result of a genetic throwback (yes, if a human carries Naga eggs some of their genetic material is absorbed by the soft squishy eggs while they develop and harden!); so he loves to hold them squish them, or just play with them in general.

And when you are carrying his eggs? Ohhh boy. The man is smitten for sure. The way your body changes, swells with new life... It's like a potent drug to him.

While you are carrying Naga eggs, your body produces the same hormones that you would as if it were a normal human pregnancy. Which means you produce milk. Baby nagas are about as developed as maybe a 7-month-old at best, and they have most of their teeth. So they are prepared already fresh out of the egg to eat solid food. But what does that leave you with, when you are producing milk for babies that don't need it?

Well, more for Leto, that's what. He adored your breasts before, but the man enjoys greatly when he can wrap his lips around your nipples, suckling every sweet drop he can, the arousal almost too much for him to bear as you moan and writhe as he relieves the built-up pressure in your breasts.

As a result of that... Well. It takes a while for your milk supply to go away. If at all, because of how often Leto will pin you somewhere private, rip your bodice down and drink his fill.

Sometimes, Leto will take you down to his private pool, and make love to you on the smooth stone shore, washing you off with the life-giving restorative waters afterwards, massaging your sore muscles.

Almost always prefers to finish inside of you. That primal instinct again demanding he fill you up as many times over as he can, whether you are carrying eggs or not.

Oral? He definitely prefers to give rather than receive. Nagas have fangs, female nagas tend to have the larger sets than the males do, so orale for them is almost always restricted to their very long, forked tongues.

The first time you went down on him, he thought he died and went to heaven. He never thought he would enjoy the blunt teeth in your mouth scraping his length as your fingers massaged the silky interior of his sheathe, teasing the tip of his ovipositor as you sucked him off.

After that, Leto will very awkwardly come to you if he has an urge. If you don't have time for a quickie, or if the children are asleep and you are trying to be intimate in a hurry, Leto will cradle you, pull your panties aside and hold you so you both can race to see who makes who cum first.

Loves to mark you. Be it with claws or teeth (dry bites of course), he will do so. Another instinct Naga have to let others know their mate belongs to them and to stay away. As if carrying his children and his family crest was not enough of a deterrent. He has to make sure, you know. Just a precaution...

Loves to feel your nails and blunt teeth dig into his skin as you try to do the same, relishes the bruises you leave on him and wears them proudly like badges, despite your embarrassment when your family comes to visit. Why is your face red? Why are you looking around and not making eye contact? Don't humans mark their mates, too?

[shyguygubbs]

I was thinking about kotlc recently and how the Black Swan originally wanted to wait to bring Sophie into the Lost Cities until way later, probably when she turned 18, and how different of a person Sophie would have been if that were the case.

Like at the start of the series, she's this child prodigy who has to go to community college in the fall at the age of 12 because her parents won't let her go to Yale (a totally valid parental choice btw), and the thing is I think she would have THRIVED in that environment. Like at first she would be scared and hesitant because in all other school environments she has been bullied for being as smart as she is, but now she's going into a school that people choose to go to in order to learn. Community college doesn't just have mean, jealous teenagers who attend, there are people of all ages and all walks of life who are ready to learn. Sure, Sophie would still be the youngest one there, and I doubt it would be super easy with the whole mind reading thing, but she would be in a much more supportive environment when it comes to learning than anything else she's experienced.

She'd be able to make friends with her peers, being able to bond over a shared love of whatever they're studying, and these friends don't think she's too smart or too weird. She maybe finds some way to muffle the voices in her head better than her earplugs did. Yeah, she still gets headaches, but she can manage it. I can see her taking as many classes as she can, figuring out her passions and what she might want to do as a career. She'd be in a fantastic place academically to transfer to any school she wants when she turns 18. I can even see her parents letting her graduate when she's 17 and allowing her to transfer to a four year college to get a bachelor's in whatever she wants to study, whatever she finds her passion for, because she worked hard for this, and doesn't hate school now, and has found a path for herself in life that feels right.

And then the Black Swan shows up and whisks her away from all of that, and she's heartbroken because she doesn't need to be taken away from everything she's worked so hard for. Yeah it feels nice to finally have the whole mind reading question answered, but she doesn't need a new place to belong, she has one. I imagine this Sophie being a lot more confident in herself, but a lot angrier too. She's fascinated by her new world, but desperately wants to go back home, to just live out the life she's been working towards. I can see her working side by side with the Black Swan from the jump, because she's in a world with injustice and she can't just sit back and let this slide, but constantly fighting back this resentment for them and how they took everything from her. I think of how canon Sophie had a brief moment of hesitation when it came to training her Telepathy, and I think this older Sophie would be conflicted between wanting to know more about this abnormality that she's been dealing with her whole life, and wanting to cling to her human identity and her old life as much as she possibly can. Because she's been ripped away from it, and no matter what her genetics say, this Sophie still views herself as human.

[cyberrose2001]

RID 15 verse. A shy girl (around Sideswipes age in Earth years) has a MASSIVE crush on Sideswipe since he saved her from a kidnapping attempt. She's a delicate, princess-like (in a good way, she grew up rather sheltered) human whose fashion and aesthetic is pastel/cute core and wants to explore outside of her overprotective elder sister's (BB's future s/o) limits, and empathizes with Sideswipe due to that. Sideswipe really likes her too but doesn't think she'd want someone like him for obvious reasons but doesn't realize that they are both pining for each other(No official confessions yet!)

She's inspired to be more assertive and bolder thanks to him and he tries to slow down (a LITTLE.) for her. They go on joyrides together and she just absolutely has the time of her life every time!

Can the scenario just be them just going on one of said joyrides together in the quarry and they're bonding? (SFW pls!)

TF:RID 15 Sideswipe x human!fem!reader

for some reason I had 'The Night Is Still Young' by Nicki Minaj in my head while I wrote this, and it kinda suits tbh

anyway, sorry for the long wait! my first time writing for Sideswipe too, and I hope I did your request some justice

Warnings: None, sfw, small mention of mild past trauma

Word count: 1,187

"Woohoo!" You giggle in delight, sticking your head out the window as Sideswipe zooms around the quarry, kicking up plumes of dust behind him. The echo of his engine and his chuckles reverbing off the cliffs above you.

It was just the two of you, and you prefer it that way. No overprotective sister, no one nagging in your ear constantly, and most importantly, no limits. The only limit is how hard Sideswipe can put his accelerator on the floor, which you've learned is never enough.

"You better hold onto something, Y/n-" Sideswipes Autobot symbol lights up on his steering wheel before it jolts to the side, and he slams on the brakes.

He drifts near a wall, nearly throwing you onto the other side of his cab if it weren't for the seatbelt that fits too snuggly around your waist. You laugh in delight; a real belly laugh as your hands grip his dashboard as he proceeds to do doughnuts.

"Heheh," Sideswipe's laugh trails off, his engine humming softly, "How's that for a joyride, huh?"

Sideswipe chuckles with you, spinning around and around as much as his momentum can spin him, listening to your giggles and eyeing the toothy grin on your face. He eventually comes to a stop, his spark growing warm at the pure happiness you exude. How happy he makes you.

You giggle breathlessly, a hand running through your wind-swept hair as the adrenaline dissipates from you.

"Yeah, whew! That was so much fun!" You brush your white plaid skirt out, ironing the kinks with your hands once you brush your hair back in place.

"Yeah?" Sideswipe teases, revving his engine a little, "We gotta do this more often, Princess."

A slight blush graces your face at his pet name for you, turning your face away so he doesn't see.

The thing is, you've had a relatively large crush on the red speedster for a long time. The nickname 'Princess' was a name he had jokingly given you when he had unexpectedly saved you from getting snatched up by some random gang in Crown City, and you were definitely not strong enough to fight them off.

Though you were scared for your life at that moment, the least scariest part of that night was when the giant robot swooped in to scare them off. A knight in metallic armour, unironically. Since then, even after he had offered you and your (against her better judgment) older sister a place for protection under secrecy from the rest of the world, the nickname stuck.

Though, you don't know if it's because he likes to tease, or if it's because he likes you. He couldn't possibly want a human that way, could he? A question you have stewed on for a long time and always think about in the most inappropriate moments to be in your thoughts. Like right now.

"Hey, you alright, Princess? Didn't scare you too much, did I?" Sideswipe drags you from your thoughts, and he watches as you blink a few times, returning to the present.

"Yeah, I'm alright." You bite your lip softly, your fingers playing with the cuffs of your oversized pastel pink hoodie, "Just...thinking."

Sideswipe eyes of your fidgeting, a telling sign from you that you're nervous or getting a bit too shy. A quality that he finds exceedingly adorable in you, but he keeps it to himself to avoid crossing your boundaries. He sneakily gazes at you with his rearview mirror, taking in the soft red hue on your cheeks, how your hair falls on your shoulders like a waterfall, and how you bite your lip.

He also can't help but admire you and your cute outfits; he thinks it makes you unique. However, he wishes that you weren't so bound by your older sister, who he thinks can be a pain in the glute servos sometimes. To see you be able to be yourself around him, even just a little bit, makes his spark sing.

He realises he's staring a bit too much, not to mention the silence that falls upon both of you, and he clears his vocaliser.

"About what? If that's okay with you, of course." Sideswipe speaks up, his curiosity getting the better, always wondering what goes on in that little head of yours.

"Just," You blush a little more, either out of shyness or because you can feel his staring, "Just about how we met... do you remember?"

"Are you kidding?" Sideswipe chuckles softly, the warm vibrations sweeping through you, "How could I forget!"

In what seems like two seconds, Sideswipe transforms. Hydraulics and mechanics whirring around you until you sit on his palm, "How I scared off those humans to save you? It was pretty awesome if I say so myself." He poses heroically.

After you had controlled your dizzyness from being thrown around a little, though you're pretty used to it now, you arch a brow at him. Not entirely impressed with his display but secretly amused.

Sideswipe peers an optic down at you before he sheepishly brings you closer to his face, "Sorry, I understand that night wasn't a good memory for you," He brings his other servo to rub the back of his helm.

You nod your head, "It's okay," A hand rubs at your arm, "You're not wrong... but..."

"But what?" Sideswipe tilts his helm at you, an action which you find pretty endearing.

"I... uh... got to meet you, at least." You smile softly at him, your heart beating a little when you feel his thumb press against your back.

The red speedster can't hide the soft hue of blue that forms on his faceplates, not when you're so close to his face.

"Yeah? Well," He smiles at you warmly, bringing a digit to ruffle your hair a little, "Every princess needs her prince, hm?"

"Hey-" You giggle softly, batting away his digit self-consciously, "You'll mess up my hair again."

"Good," Sideswipes spark warms as he watches you giggle, "I like it. It suits you better."

You blush softly at his comment, knowing how much you like maintaining your neat appearance. But if you're completely honest with yourself, you don't mind if Sideswipe messes it up a little.

"C'mon, the night's still young," He sets you down on the ground, letting you get your balance before pulling away, "How 'bouts we walk back to the junkyard?"

"Sideswipe? Not driving? Unheard of." You tease, putting your hands in your hoodie pockets.

"There's no hurry, not while I'm with you at least." Sideswipe chuckles, keeping a watchful eye on you as he walks by your side, "We can take our time, Princess."

Your eyes widen softly at his statement, wondering if there was a double meaning layered over his words. You nod, looking down to the ground as you walk alongside him, smiling as you feel your face heat up at the nickname again, "Yeah... we can take our time."

Sideswipe smiles before leaning down to place a hand on your shoulder, "Also, let's not tell your sister that I let you stick your head out my window, yeah?"

[sophieinwonderland]

Do you ever feel worn down by all the hate sysmeds perpetuate? I tend to have a problem with seeing the world as rather dystopian because of all the systemic badness in our society that seems to have no end in sight.

Sysmeds have such a chokehold on the discussion and pluralphobic singlets seem to be more plentiful than ones that aren't.

I know we're on the right side of history, I mean look a how transmedicalism was dismantled. (Sysmeds can whine all they want. There are similarities to trans issues and system issues when it comes to how sysmeds handle the discussion. This is said by a trans system. 😘😜)

Anyways, it just feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel to turn the tides. Anywas, just some random thoughts. Thank you for reading.

Sometimes. But I don't think the dystopian view of society is fair. I mean, yes, things aren't ideal. But they generally are trending towards acceptance.

In 1977, Only 44% of people thought lesbian and gay people should be allowed to be hired as doctors. By 2019, this number rose to 91%!

Only 27% said they should be elementary school teachers.

Now that's 81%.

Only 14% said they should be allowed to adopt children compared to 77% saying they shouldn't.

Now that number is 75% to 23%

Progress happens slowly, and I'll admit that being on the right side of history is a small consolation to the people living through history.

But... I really do think we're going to be seeing progress for plurality snowballing.

As for the anti-endos... you look at the anti-endo venting blogs and the like, and you can see the seams starting to tear. You can see the anxiety in anti-endos at having mutuals turn to pro-endos. Or having their own therapists supporting endogenic systems.

When I first got to this website, the anti-endos felt in control. They had built up these powerful convictions. Their stranglehold over the community felt so strong.

Many of those have become pro-endo or at least neutral.

And now... these younger anti-endos here feel scared and desperate.

They complain that their servers are kicking them, about losing friends, about losing their "safe spaces." They've had to make multiple "safe space" blogs to house their hate because their bigotry isn't being accepted anywhere else.

I saw an undiagnosed anti-endo not too long ago complaining that their own older sibling, who was a diagnosed DID system, was pro-endo. And they whined to the vent blog anonymously that they didn't think they could "educate" their sibling on why endos are supposedly bad.

On top of all of that is the refusal to actually engage with the other side. While we're dropping sources left and right, they're hiding behind the block button every time someone presents them facts that contradict their worldview.

Anti-endos aren't going to admit it, but the sense I get from their community, at least on this site, is one that's desperately huddling together and clinging to their beliefs and hate while the rest of the world moves past them more and more each and every day.

We still have a long way to go.

But progress is happening constantly and our future is plural!

[blu3-ja3]

Hello! So I want to establish O'Connor a bit more and how she views each member of the 141. All of these will be in first person not my typical 3rd person limited. We're going youngest to oldest so Soap up first.

!TRIGGER WARNING! Panic Attacks, Misguided Grief

1) Smart but Forgetful

Soap is a smart young man, in a way that's terrifying at time. I've watched MacTavish make a bomb from fertilizer, random metal scrap and a broken lighter. Ghost seemed turned on proud of his sergeant on that particular mission. It never fails to amaze me to watch MacTavish work out how much it would take for him to level a building. But he also has a nasty habit of not wearing proper protective gear when dealing with demolitions on and off the field. On the field I can let it slide but when we're on base it worries me to no end.

I've scolded him a great many times before I just started scolding Ghost as well. More often than not the two were together when Soap goes about his explosive work. Price found it hilarious that I've made it a rule that everyone has to carry a set of closed fingered gloves for Soap, that way if they're on field with the man and he starts his work they can give him the gloves so I don't have to treat chemical burns that could easily be prevented.

2) A Simple Gesture

The first time the young sergeant saw my scar he was kind and far more interested in my sleeve. It was late out. I couldn't sleep and figured working out until I was ready to collapse would be the best course of action. I was in a compression sports bra and sweats, I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake so I didn't bother wearing my typical long sleeve turtle neck. I was distracted and didn't notice Soap appearing in the door to the workout room.

"Who did your ink Cap?"

"JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH! MacTavish where the hell did you come from?" I practically jumped out of my skin as I turned around.

"My room? You okay Doc? You seem a bit jumpy." Soap tilted his head to the side with a concerned smile on his face. I suddenly felt very aware of the fact that the sergeant could see my discolored and scared arm and body.

"I'm fine, I'll just leave you to your work out sergeant." I made a move to grab my bag and leave

"Wait! Captain I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I can leave. I was just curious about your sleeve. I've seen some glimpses of it, I'd like a better look but it makes you uncomfortable then I'll leave." Soap offered with a shy smile

" My son, William, drew most of them." I relaxed a bit as Soap approached

"He's an incredible artist, would it be okay if I got a closer look?" Soap asked as he gestured to my arm.

"Would you like to help yourself to one of his sketchbooks? I have one in my office if you'd like to get a better look." I laughed as Soap took my left arm turning it staring intently at the pieces.

"If Will doesn't mind, I don't want to intrude."

I smiled "I'm fairly sure he wouldn't mind Suds"

3) A Mother's Grief

It hurts how similar Soap can be to William, both are incredible artist who are constantly doodling on any scrap of paper. But the similarities didn't seem to stop there, they're both terribly smart and passionate. They care deeply for those they've befriended and had a mischievous streak to them. I think often about what kinda of shenanigans the two would get up to with the other sergeants.

At times though it hurts to be around the young man. He makes me wonder what William would be like as he got older. I cried for hours the night Soap called me, mom. I felt guilty, so incredibly guilty. I thought I was replacing Will with the young sergeant and it killed me. I went to Price after another night of tears and guilt.

"Maevis you alright?"

"No, no I'm really not John."

"What's wrong? Did Oliver do something?"

" No, Jesus, it's about Sergeant MacTavish."

John tensed "What about him O'Connor?"

" He called me, mom last night, he was having a rough go of it. I found him and did what I could, I eventually took him back to his barracks. I tried to convince myself he just called me ma'am but Soap has never called me Ma'am. I feel like I'm being eaten alive by guilt! Like I've replaced William without me realizing. How could I? Will was... Is my baby, he's my boy. I love him! How could I do that to him?" Tears streamed down my face I couldn't stand to look at John.

"Oh Maevis, you muppet. You've done nothing wrong. You still love William, I know you do because you still have the charm made of his ashes. MacTavish called you mom because you did what you always do. You're a care taker Maeve, a mother by instinct and you treat everyone like your child. You haven't replaced your son, you would have done the same thing if Will was alive. You're being too hard on yourself Maevis." John had pulled me into a hug until I finally stopped shaking.

"We both know if Will was here he'd be instant friends with the boys. And he'd hold no ill will towards you being a mother to them."

"Yes you're right, you're always right John."

4) An Artistic Collaboration

Soap is constantly coloring in the tattoos on both mine and Ghost's arms. He was a very tactile person, constantly platonically touching everyone in the 141. MacTavish was quick to notice the missing piece on my sleeve, a decent sized spot above my wrist.

"So what's going there Doc?"

"Well it was ment to be another piece William was drawing specifically for me but he never got around to it. There are simple sketches in his last sketch book but nothing finished."

"Do you mean the horse?"

I nodded in confirmation as Soap turned my arm to start coloring another tattoo with the skin safe markers he was given by Roach.

"Yeah, I wanted to get a kelpie or an undead unicorn. William was enthralled by the idea and wanted to draw it for me. He uh... You know..."

"Yeah, if you'd like I could finish it for you. Why the clovers as filler? It makes coloring you so difficult!"

"I like clovers, used to call Will my lucky clover. Sergeant?"

Soap looked up from where he was focusing on my arm, his hand stilling as he removed the light green marker from my skin.

"If you'd like to, I'd be honored to have your artwork complete my sleeve." I watched as MacTavish's eye lit up with excitement.

"You're not joking Cap? You'd get my art tatted on you?" I nod smiling as the sergeant moved to grab his leather sketchbook.

" Id still like the undead unicorn or kelpie but you're free to do what you'd like with the concept... Are you going to finish coloring my arm or am I going to walk around with a half colored arm?" Soap waved his hand at me as he continued to draw. I chuckled before getting up to leave to go do my rounds.

5) Motherly Advice

I'm sitting in my office filling out paperwork and going through the medical bay inventory. I see my door open from the corner of my eye. I see the tall tale mohawk of one sergeant MacTavish

"How's she cuttin' Suds?"

"Um Mom? Can I ask you a question?" I smiled a bit at the name before calming myself. The boys only call me mom, outside of the usual teasing, if something was serious.

"What's wrong Johnny Boy?" I turned to face the man , setting down my pen as the scott sat across from me.

"You've been in a relationship before right Doc?"

"Um well yes but it wasn't the best example of a relationship..."

"I know but it was with a man, yeah?"

"... Yes? MacTavish can I ask what's this about? Because it may be better to ask Price, lad"

" How did you know you were gay?!" MacTavish seemed to be flustered as his cheeks were a bright pink.

"You were married to a man, yeah? And now you look at so of many of the nurses with such infatuation or at least you stare at any woman like she's the best view you've ever seen! I know what that means Doc.... So how did you know? Cause for most of my life I liked Bonnies but Gho- someone has made me question everything!"

"Tav my boy deep breaths yeah, do you want me to be honest?" Soap nodded furiously.

"I don't know, Oliver was my only partner for a very long time... I was only 16 when we started dating, got married just before I was deployed at 18 and I divorced him when I was 20. I didn't date while I was raising Will, I was so busy being a single mom while active duty, I was recovering from this," I gestured to my heavily scared body. " Then Will passed, I couldn't bring myself to go out let alone date... But you're right I taken a liking to many of the lassies I've seen. But I truly don't know if that makes me gay."

" Is it only ladies that catch your attention?"

"It seems so, yes... But why ask me John? Why not talk to Kyle or Price, the two who are in a very openly gay relationship. Both of them are most definitely more qualified in both regards..." I mumble the last bit.

" I don't know, you were the first person I thought of. "

" Let me ask you this then. This someone, does he make you happy?"

"Yes..."

"Do you trust him?"

"More than anyone I've ever met."

" Then what does it matter if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever?"

"What if he doesn't like me back?"

"You're talking about Ghost, right?"

Soap blushes furiously before replying "Yes I'm talking about Ghost... "

" I know he's not the most expressive or forthcoming but he's different with you John. You know that right?"

Soap nods before something seems to click, he stood up rapidly and rushed towards my office door.

"I'm sorry, I've just remembered something I've gotta go! THANK YOU FOR THE TALK DOC!" Soap's voice echoed down the hall.

A few days later, Ghost and Soap made an announcement that they are dating.

"Wait, you weren't before?" Roach asked

"No, what made you think that?" Soap asked

"Well you were constantly leaving the Lieutenant's room after some very... Loud activities..." Roach smirked "You two seem to forget who's barracks are next to Ghost's!"

It was evident even through Ghost's mask that the man was blushing.

"Oh quite your teasing Roach! Honestly we're happy for you boys, you two deserve happiness!" I smile sweetly at the two young men.

I'm happy that everyone has found someone, and while I'm happy to have helped the young sergeant he's helped me realize my neglect towards myself and my relationships.