#and they're like...😗🤨🤣

[hummingbird-games]

who wants to steal my laptop and hammer out the rest of these outlines??

anyone???

...any takers???

...what do you mean I have to do this mYSELF!!!!

[theatrekidstatus]

Chapter 17

We got more busy i was in 5 productions and 10 movies. But something happened one day

"Bea i dont fee-" i was cut off by my throw up it got on me and my bed "do you know whats wrong" "no but everything HURTS" "lets stay home today"  "but" "but nothing you're sick so im going to help you" "fine" "lay down imma make a ✨breakfeast smoothie✨" "oh no" -20 minutes later- "its just fruit" "yeah,you dont like fruit or something? "I just thought" "what?" "it would be breakfasts made into one smoothie" "you're funny" "yo sè" "Si quieres hablar español, podemos hablar español" "only been 'speaking' it for 9 years calm down" "seems like plenty of time" "MOVING ON,I kinda miss Hamilton" "me too but we're moving up in the world" *he gets a text* "shit my moms in the hospital" "ant go to her I'll be fine" "you sure you can come" "'rest'. NOW GO" "see ya letter" he says all rushed and paniky. one thing lead to another and i was at walmart buying a pregnancy test "Y/N TERRELL" forgot i was famous "can i please get a photo" "sure"

*TAKES PHOTO* "dont post till till atleast half a hour please" "YES ANYTHING FOR YOU" "thanks i really appreciate it" i made my way back home and used the test and unlike when i was younger i passed i just cried perfect timing my now husband  came in "honey what's wrong" "if I tell you don't get mad" "of crouse" "I'm pppp-pregnat" "im going to be a dad" "mhm y-your happy" "of course, but i want a baby if you want baby" "i want a baby" i say with now happy tears "can we tell people" "of course lets tell the mains

                                                             GUYS GUESS WHAT

Jazzy poo bear😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:what

Pippy poo😀🥹☺️😃😅😊😄😂😇😁🤣🙂😆🥲🙃:what

Mommy nèa(not dirty🙄)😉😗😝🤓😌😙😜😎😍😚🤪🥸🥰😋🤨🤩😘😛🧐🥳:what

Loser Leslie 🤫😐🙄😲🫠🫤😯🥱🤥😑😦😴😵‍💫😶🫨😧🤤🤐🫥😬😮😪🥴:what

Weird David 😮‍��🤢🤕👹😵🤮🤑👺😵‍💫🤧🤠🤡🤐😷😈💩🥴🤒👿👻🤖:what

ThEy DiDnT sAy I CoUlDnT sIng 🤝🏾🤛🏾✌🏾🤌🏾👍🏾🤜🏾🫰🏾🤏🏾👎🏾🫷🏾🤟🏾🫳🏾👊🏾🫸🏾🤘🏾🫴🏾✊🏾🤞🏾👌🏾👈🏻:what

Oakyyyyy the unfuckable tree👉🏾🤚🏾🫲🏾✍🏾👆🏾🖐🏾🫱🏾🙏🏾🖖🏾👇🏾💪🏾🫵🏾☝🏾👋🏾🦾🦶🏾✋🏾🤙🏾🖕🏾🦵🏾:what

Christopfuckme👶🏾🧑🏾👩🏾‍🦰👱🏾‍♂️👧🏻👨🏾🧑🏾‍🦰👩🏾‍🦳🧒🏾👩🏾‍🦱👨🏾‍🦰🧑🏾‍🦳👦🏿🧑🏾‍🦱👱🏾‍♀️👨🏾‍🦳👩🏾👨🏾‍🦱:what

My mannn💀🎃😼🫶🏾☠️😺😽🤲🏾👽😸🙀👐🏾👾😹😿🙌🏾🤖😻😾👏🏾:WE PREGERS

Jazzy poo bear😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:we?

                                                                       WORD💀😒🙄🤧

My mannn💀🎃😼🫶🏾☠️😺😽🤲🏾👽😸🙀👐🏾👾😹😿🙌🏾🤖😻😾👏🏾:my bad

Jazzy poo bear😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:you should name them jazzyjr 😜

My mannn💀🎃😼🫶🏾☠️😺😽🤲🏾👽😸🙀👐🏾👾😹😿🙌🏾🤖😻😾👏🏾:what if they're a boy

Jazzy poo bear😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:jazzyjr💀 

                                                                                     Word🙄.

Anthony pov:We got more busy i was in 2 productions and 8 movies. 2 show But something happened one day

"Bea i dont fee-" she was cut off by her throw up it got on me and our bed "do you know whats wrong" i asked "no but everything HURTS" she proclaimed "lets stay home today" "but-" she started "but nothing you're sick so im going to help you" i cut her off "fine" she says Resently "lay down imma make a ✨breakfeast smoothie✨" i announce  "oh no" she mumbles -20 minutes later- "its just fruit?" she asked "yeah,you dont like fruit or something?" i ask "I just thought-" she cuts her self off "what?" i ask "it would be breakfast food made into one smoothie" she reveals "you're funny" i say "yo sè" (i know) "Si quieres hablar español, podemos hablar español" (you want to speak Spanish we can speak Spanish) "only been 'speaking' it for 9 years calm down" she tells me "seems like plenty of time" (its not😭😭) "MOVING ON,I kinda miss Hamilton" she brings up "me too,but we're moving up in the world" i say confronting her *he gets a text* "shit my moms in the hospital" i say panicked "ant go to her I'll be fine" "you sure you can come" "'rest', NOW GO" "see ya letter" i say all rushed and paniky. one thing lead to another and i was on insta because my mom turned out to be all right and i saw a fan and y/n at walmart. I see shes buying a pregnancy test because its on the belt. theres a video on the next slide "Y/N TERRELL" forgot i was famous i hear her mumble when you hang with her engouge you.hear.everything. "can i please get a photo" "sure"

*TAKES PHOTO* "dont post till till atleast half a hour please" "YES ANYTHING FOR YOU" "thanks i really appreciate it" i think she made her way back home and used the test and unlike when she was younger she passed i heard just crying perfect timing her now husband  came in "honey what's wrong" i ask "if I tell you don't get mad" she tells "of crouse" "I'm pppp-pregnat" she sputters out "im going to be a dad" i say in shock "mhm, y-your happy?" she asked "of course, but i want a baby if you want baby" infrom her "i want a baby" she says with now happy tears "can we tell people" i ask "of course lets tell the mains"

Pinkey pie💓🩷:GUYS GUESS WHAT 

Jazzy 😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:what

Pippa😀🥹☺️😃😅😊😄😂😇😁🤣🙂😆🥲🙃:what

nèa😉😗😝🤓😌😙😜😎😍😚🤪🥸🥰😋🤨🤩😘😛🧐🥳:what

Loser Leslie 🤫😐🙄😲🫠🫤😯🥱🤥😑😦😴😵‍💫😶🫨😧🤤🤐🫥😬😮😪🥴:what

Weird David 😮‍💨🤢🤕👹😵🤮🤑👺😵‍💫🤧🤠🤡🤐😷😈💩🥴🤒👿👻🤖:what

ThEy DiDnT sAy I CoUlDnT sIng 🤝🏾🤛🏾✌🏾🤌🏾👍🏾🤜🏾🫰🏾🤏🏾👎🏾🫷🏾🤟🏾🫳🏾👊🏾🫸🏾🤘🏾🫴🏾✊🏾🤞🏾👌🏾👈🏻:what

Oakyyyyy the uncool tree👉🏾🤚🏾🫲🏾✍🏾👆🏾🖐🏾🫱🏾🙏🏾🖖🏾👇🏾💪🏾🫵🏾☝🏾👋🏾🦾🦶🏾✋🏾🤙🏾🖕🏾🦵🏾:what

Christmas👶🏾🧑🏾👩🏾‍🦰👱🏾‍♂️👧🏻👨🏾🧑🏾‍🦰👩🏾‍🦳🧒🏾👩🏾‍🦱👨🏾‍🦰🧑🏾‍🦳👦🏿🧑🏾‍🦱👱🏾‍♀️👨🏾‍🦳👩🏾👨🏾‍🦱:what

                                                                         WE PREGERS

Jazzy 😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:we?

   WORD💀😒🙄🤧

                                                                           my bad

Jazzy 😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:you should name them jazzyjr 😜

                                                         what if they're a boy

Jazzy poo bear😭🙄🔛🔝‼️🗞️🧍🏼‍♀️🫶🏾🤭🎶🗣️🪄✅😑👍🏾🩷😂👦🏿🖕🏾😘❕🔥😔👦🏾💞👹❗️🔊🎩👦🏽:jazzyjr💀 

                                                                                     Word🙄.

Im back yall anyway after i finish this book (not for a WHILE) ill have more books ready not all Hamilton related tho

[just-some-random-blogger]

Wow. What can I say but wow (Owen Wilson voice) but also wow (solemnly)

How do I even begin to process this? How do I even ????????

[future me edit: this is really fucking long 💀💀💀🤣🤣 I JUST HAVE A LOT TO SAY OK]

First of all this makes me want to write a Joel angst too. Like 100000 of them cos this is so

As you sat there in the dimly lit living room, the weight of Joel's words hung heavily in the air.

This was so beautifully written. Also I love it when you use inner turmoil. I keep saying imma steal that but I keep forgetting HAHAAHAHHAHA

Joel stared at the floor, avoiding your gaze. "I love you. So much. More than I ever thought I could love someone. But, I can't keep pretending that I can give you everything you deserve. I'm 35, and I've lived a life that's... complicated. I don't want to tie you down, especially when you have so much of the world left to explore."

🤨✋ PAUSE. PAUZEEE MADAME. leave him. leave his ass.

First of all, if you're with someone who thinks they're going to hold you back LEAVE THEM COS THEY WILL THEYRE TELLING ON THEMSELVES.

Second of all, not him acting like 35 is old dafaq??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LIVED A LIFE??? GIRL LIFE STARTS AT 30 COS THATS WHEN YOU GET UR SHIT TOGETHER HELLO?????

ALSO SHES 25????????????????????????? WHAT IS SHE DOING THAT YOU CAN NO LONGER DO??? CLIMB UP THE FUCKING STAIRS? HELLO???? EARTH TO JOEL???? ITS GIVING SELF-RIGHTEOUS PRICK, ITS GIVING SAVIOR COMPLEX?????

👩‍⚖️LEAVE HIS ASS.👩‍⚖️ NEXT 🥱

"I don't want you to look back one day and regret being with me," he continued, his voice gentle as he clasps both of your hands in his. "I couldn’t live with myself if one day you look at me and all I’d see is regret in your eyes. I want you to experience the world, to find your own path. I know you'll go on to do amazing things, and I don't want to be the reason you didn't." His eyes glimmered with tears. 

He thinks he's musty and dusty and not worth staying for. Leave his bum ass rat face ass ROIGHT NIOW 🤮🤮🤮

AND ANOTHER THING THE FACT HE CANT IMAGINE SEEING THE WORLD WITH YOU ✋✋✋✋✋😒😒😒😒😒😒

🗣️THATS🗣️SO🗣️ FUCKING🗣️TELLING🗣️🗣️OF🗣️HIMMMM🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT FUCK OFF

“And what about what I want?” You stared back at him, defiant. “What if I want to be here with you?”

EXACTLY. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUEEN. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO. UNFORTUNATELY UR MANS BARELY GOT TWO BRAIN CELLS BUT OKAY GO OFF I GUESS

He smiled softly and shook his head. “You know, I could be selfish and keep you here with me. But what can you achieve in this town, really? You had such big dreams when we met, remember? Don’t think I forgot.” 

🧍‍♀️ aur. .......... 😗😗😗👁️👄👁️ and I oop. 😬😬😬 That's what he meant....

She has dreams and ambitions....... Aurr......... Aurr ......... See okay now Joel's got a point........... Aur.... See see ☝️

“Dreams change.” was all you managed to get out before your throat started to tighten and you felt the prickling of tears in your eyes.

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH KWEENNNNNNNNNNNN. But yah I get where Joel's coming from. Ya really can't tell cos you'll be riddled with what ifssss 😔 but what about love ?? Is that really not a what if you're willing to take?

Ok. Joel NTA (not the asshole in case you didn't know HAHAHHAAHH)

Joel pulled you in for a hug and buried his face in your shoulder. “Don’t change them for me. Never for me.” 

😗😬 AUR. CUZ. CUZ. ☝️ HES GOT A POINT. CAPN SHE THREW A CURVE BALL AT US WE CURRENTLY DONT KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING NOR HOW WE FEEL.

But we love it here

Deep down, you knew you had to go. Not because you wanted to, but because you knew Joel would never forgive himself if you didn’t. It was ironic and so painfully stupid that it hurt - he thought this breakup would help you and you went through with it to help him. 

I COULDN'T FIND IT BUT THERE IS THIS VIDEO OF A KPOP BOY COUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY AND ONE OF HIS GROUP MATES TURNED TO HIM AND STARTED WAVING AND SAID BYE that's how I feel HAHAHAH

So there you went. You packed your bags and you were out of there in less than a week. You moved in with a friend in New York for a couple of months until you secured a stable job and an apartment. You followed Joel's advice, exploring the world, pursuing your dreams, and building a life that was uniquely your own. You missed him more than you cared to admit, but you knew that his intentions had been pure, and in a way, it did benefit you. 

🗣️AS🗣️YOU🗣️SHOULD🗣️QUEEN🗣️GETIM🗣️ but also pure intentions is a stretch. Like he did this so that he wouldn't feel guilty in the future too so he's overcompensating for something that hasn't happened yet which also might not even happen. Well/good intentions tho, sure. Ig.

You try to think back to every interaction they had during the course of your relationship but it had never been more than polite small talk at neighbourhood gatherings or run-ins at the grocery store. Wasn’t she married?

No cuz fuck that shit. That's fucked up. That's cold. That's low.

Fuck this. You double tap the picture, giving it a “like”. This will give them something to talk about, you think spitefully. He wanted me to move on with my life? Well this is me, moved on. As you throw your phone to the other side of the bed, the pain finally sinks in and you cry into your pillow, wondering if you truly, will ever move on. 

🗣️AS🗣️SHE🗣️FATHER🗣️FUCKING🗣️SHOULD🗣️RAT🗣️ASS🗣️CRETIN🗣️GOOD🗣️FOR🗣️NOTHING🗣️MAN🗣️

People would kill for the life you have and you will NOT be ungrateful about it. 

😔😔😔😔😔 aw. Awie. ouch. 😃😃😃 DAMN BRUH CUZ NEEDING TO BE GRATEFUL IN A SITUATION SOMETIMES SUCKS ASS YOU SHOULD BUT ALSO FUCK IM MISERABLE OVA ERE LEMME LIVE

He whispers your name, almost in disbelief as his brows furrow. “Hey. Wow.” 

HAHAH WAIT I DIDNT REALIZE THIS GIRL SAID OH WOW WHAT A FITTING MEME. NO CUZ I WANT TO BE THAT EX. MAKE YOU GO HEY. WOW. COS 💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅

AS YOU SHOULD SHE IS DATTTT GWWWWOOORRLLLLLLLLLLLLL SLAAYYYYYYYYY NUFFIN ELSE TO SAY BUT HEY WOW 😩😩😩😩😩 GOT THE WHOLE GROUP CHAT GAGGGEDDDD

He’s older, grayer, but damn him, he still looks so fucking good.

HAHAHHAAH NOT CUZ I ZONED OUT AND THOUGHT IT SAID GAYER AND I WAS LIKE OOP SLAY A GAY CHARACTER ENTRANCE BUT THEN I WAS LIKE HUH??? WHY IS THERE A GAY FRIEND??? then I saw it was gray 💀💀💀 HAHAHHAAH

You stand there staring for a moment, while he examines the box of Cap’n Crunch.

Canon Pedro character lore, liking capn crunch. That's his fav right???? LMAOO AHAHAH

Somehow this exchange cuts you deeper than the day he broke up with you. When did you become people who could barely speak 3 words to each other? 

😩😩😩😬😬😬😬😬🫣🫣🫣 I CAN SEE IT NOW HER VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY. WOOF

At that, he visibly stiffens and clears his throat as he replies, “Oh, Cassie and I aren’t together anymore. Well we were never.. But we kind of.. Yeah she’s not in the picture. It’s just me and Sarah.” 

😃😃✋✋✋✋✋✋🤪🤪🤪🤪🫨🫨🫨😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😵😨😨😨😰😰😰🙀🙀🙀 LISTEN I COULD PUT A MEME BUT IM ON MOBILE AND I CAN ONLY PUT 10 PICS IM TRYNA CONSERVE THEM BUT LIKE NDJSJDJSJJS BROOOOOOOOOOO SHE LEFT YOU YOUR FOOKIN REBOUND LEFT YOU AND LEFT YOU A BABY 💀💀💀💀🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 THATS SO EMBARRASSING FOR YOUR SOUL AND ?????? SO FUCKED UP FOR YOU AND FOR HEE OBVI BUT FOR YOU TOO BRO CUZ IMAGINE NOT EVEN LOVING THAT WOMAN AND HAVING HER GENETIC DNA LIFE WITH YOURS IN A HUMAN AND YOULL HAVE THAT HUMAN WITH YOU FOREVER or I mean till she gets shot 😶 sorry ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

“No, wait. Can we talk, please? I.. I’ve missed you. I want to talk.” Joel steps towards you as if to stop you from leaving but then holds himself back. 

[RUNNING AWAY SCREAMING AND CRYING]

“I don’t think we have anything much to say to each other anymore, Joel, don’t you think?” You chuckle a little to mask the overwhelming urge to cry. 

AS SHE SHOULD SHE ATE SHE LEFT NO CRUMBS SHE SPOKE HER TRUTH SHE SPOKE OUR TRUTH THE GROUP CHAT IS WILD SHE LIKE ME FOR REAL TELL IM THEN CRYYYYY SLAYYY

“I just want to know how you’re doing.” He looks at the ground, like a puppy scolded by his owner and you know you can’t resist the floodgates that pour out. You take a deep breath and let it all out in one exhale.

NO CUZ ITS GIVING PATHETIC BUT ALSO I MEAN YEAH HE IS PATHETIC HE KNOWS HE IS I MEAN YEAH THEY BOTH KINDA ARE I MEAN YEAH LEAVE HIS ASSSS FUCKING LEAVVVEERE

“Fine. You want to know? I’m doing great, just as you said I would. I make a ridiculous amount of money every year, I have a fancy apartment that overlooks the city, I have nice friends and a good life. It’s everything you wanted for me.” 

🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ wow she went. off. [Huffs] [insert zuko meme]

“You deserve it. I knew you would.” He says, nodding with a sad smile.

🤨🤨🤨😃😃😃✋✋✋🤪🤪🙃🙃🙃 GO ON KING GIVE US NOTHING

He stands stunned for a moment, his eyes concerned and brows furrowed. He eventually steps fully in front of you this time. His hands hesitate, as if he doesn't know where to put them, until he settles for your shoulders. “I’m sorry. I thought.. I thought you would be–” 

WAIT I DIDNT COPY THE PART WHERE SHE SAYS THEN WHY ARENT I HAPPY 🤪🤪🤪💀💀💀💀💀💀👁️👄👁️ nO CUZ WHAT IS THAT KEJEJEEJ THATS SO REAL OF HER NO CUZ BRO. [bIGGGGGG SIGHHHHHHHH]

[FUTURE ME EDIT I WENT BACK TO COPY IT COS-]

“So why don’t I feel happy yet?” You can’t believe it but you actually start to cry. Here in the middle of the damn cereal aisle in front of your ex-boyfriend. 

I LITERALLY GASPED AT THIS AND SAID MAAM THIS IS A WALMART AND THEN RIGHT AFTER I READ THE PART WHERE YOU WROTE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN CERAL AISLE HAHAHA NO CUZ SAME THOUGHTS FOR REAL GIRL 😭😭😭😭✋✋✋✋✋ THIS IS THE DOLLAR SHOPPPPPP 😩😩😩😩 SOS. HYPERMARKET WHO I ONLY KNOW HYPER-REACTIONS 💅🫦

POOJA WHAT IS THISSSSSSS WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THOUGHT GAGO KA PALA MARAMING NAMAMATAY SA MALING INAKALA (SO YOURE [curse word GAGO] SO MANY PEOPLE DIE BECAUSE OF WRONG ... ASSUMPTIONS [??? YEAH IT THINK ITS ASSUMPTION ABHAHAHAH])

Ok that's a filo saying but tbh I don't even know anyone who died from wrong assumptions... At least personally jdjejejjejsj HAHAH

You bat his hands off your shoulders. “Yeah, you did. But it doesn’t matter because what’s done is done and we’ll never get it back. Any of it.” 

SHES SUCH A QUEEN FOR SWATTING THAT PESKY LOUD ANNOYING ASSUMING ASSUMERA FLY SLAYYYY

He says your name, pleadingly. 

TAKE MY FUCKING NAME OUCHO FUCKING MOUTH

“No, I don’t blame you. I left, didn't I? It was my decision too. I guess deep down some part of me thought I would be better off. And in a way I am. I really am. But I cannot lie to you and say that I’m happy Joel, because I’m not. And nothing will change that. Because this is my life now.” 

🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ NO CUZ ITS THE IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE FOR ME ✋✋✋✋✋ ITS THE THIS IS THE FUCKING WHAT IF YOULL FOREVER FUCKING THINK ABOUT. OOF. OOF. OOF.

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as the weight of the years of separation hangs there. “I’m not either,” he whispers. 

😒😒😒🙄🙄🙄🤨🤨🤨🫤🫤🫤 I don't remember fucking asking tho

“I’m not.. happy. Cassie and I had a fling when I was heartbroken and dealing with our breakup. She had just gotten divorced and I was.. I was planning to ask for you back. I was prepared to get on a fucking airplane and beg on my knees until you took me back. Whether that meant moving you back home or me moving here, it didn’t matter to me. We’d make it work. I just wanted you to know that I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have decided for you.” He places his hands on your shoulders again, and you let them stay this time. 

Why didn't you? 🤨 ??? 🧍‍♀️

Translation of this: [but] why do you look like you're mad. Why is it like it's my fault

THATS LAST PART BAKIT PARANG KASALANAN KO???? HELLLO????

IF YOU WANTED TO YOU WOULD HAVE??? HELLO???? HELLOO BE SO FUCKING FOR REAL??? LIKE SO WHAT??? YOU DIDNT DO IT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ABOUT IT??? DAFAQ

He continues, speaking quickly as if a dam has burst. “But then Cassie got pregnant. And I knew I had to make a choice. [...]

You did that. You chose to do that. You had a plane ticket but you chose to find solace in another person's arms to forget about them. You dug your own grave. Again it's like telling on you. I know people have moments of weaknesses and yada yada but like BIGGGGG SIGHHHH THATS WHAT YOU CHOSE TO DOOOOOOO❗❗❗❗❗❗❗

We said we’d try to raise the kid together and be a family but.. A few months after Sarah was born she just left. Literally, took off and left, and I have no idea where she went. Frankly, I don’t even care. And then I got so busy with the kid and then years passed, and I just lost the timing. What, am I just supposed to call you up 10 years after breaking up with you, telling you what a joke my life has become? How I’ve regretted every moment since you packed your bags?” 

You let all of his words sink in for a while before choking out, “And what do I do with all this information now? What do you expect me to do?” 

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅😩😩😩😩😩😩😩🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫨🫨🫨🫨 CROWD LEFT SHOOQ QUEEN BEHAVIOR SHE 👏SPOKE👏HER👏TRUTTHHHH👏 AS SHE SHOULD QUEEN SHE LIKE ME FOR REALLLL LIKE GIRL???

You nod, your brain not fully able to come up with words at this point, so he continues. “If you’d told me you were happy, I would have swallowed my pride, wished you well, and walked out of this store with the knowledge that at least all this pain has finally brought you joy. But we’re both hurting now, so what does that make us?” 

Tangang bobong inutil walang kwentang gagong ulol fucking shit rat dull headed stupid ass dipshit loser. Pathetic simply put. ////: tbh both of u I'm not sorry maybe for YN a bit

“Two idiots crying in the cereal aisle?” You offer with a small chuckle through your tears. 

😬😬😬😬😬 ok yeah that works too ig. I liked mine better

He shakes his head before looking into your eyes. “You know what the sick part is? 10 years ago I told you I never wanted you to look at me with regret in your eyes. Yet here you are.” 

It only took him 10 years.

NO CUZ YEAH JOEL I WAS SCREAMING (silently) WHEN I WAS READING THIS GIRL GET A FUCKING GRIP

“Maybe.” He replies cheekily, smiling softly. With that, he pulls you in for a hug and the familiar waft of his cologne transports you back to 10 years ago when you hugged in his living room before saying goodbye, when you used to cuddle together so close at night, when he used to hug you before leaving for work. Your memories together flash before your eyes like a sick Hallmark movie except this time you know the ending. 

NO CUZ THISSSSSSSSSSSSSS. THIS FUCKING HURT. SMELLS MAKE ME FEEL THINGS YOU KNOW 😩😩😩😩😵‍💫😭😭😭😭 GOSH

You feel the press of his lips against your head and you swear you hear him whisper the words “I love you” but you can’t be sure because your heart is pounding and you can feel it in your ears. Your life from this point on will always be divided into before and after. The point where you know, you just know, the choice you made is irreversible. You will never have Joel Miller ever again.

😃🙃🤪 fuck. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY *INSERT ZUKO MEME*

WAIT I LOST ANOTHER PART AGAIN WHERE THEY WERE DIVERGING WITH THE SHOPPING CARTS KEJDJDJDJ I WAS THINKING IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ICIER IF WE STARTED IN THE SUPERMARKET AND WORKED OUT WAY BACK AND FUCKING WENT TO PRESENT AND JUST FUCJING

CUZ THATS WHAT ITS GIVING ITS GIVING VERY MUCH LAUNDRY AND TAXES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Joel looks at his daughter and wonders what it would be like if this kid was yours, and you stare at your phone, a message from your new date asking you to confirm a meeting time flashing on your screen.

No cuz Joel's is kinda fucked up. I mean I know what he means but also that's like changing the kid altogether,like genetically so Sarah wouldn't be Sarah you know.... Ok ive overthunkthunk this thunking thing 💀💀💀

Do I even have to say I enjoyed this??? I enjoyed this. Pls keep posting and don't delete ur work just cuz ugly people have boyfriends and you dont 😔😔😔😔😩😩

I Hope You're Happy / Joel Miller x Reader

Description: Joel breaks up with you, thinking that he's setting you free to chase your dreams. And you do. And he gets another girl pregnant. And you meet each other in the cereal aisle of the grocery store. And you hope the other is happy. But you're not. You're both not.

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: Angst angst angst. No outbreak AU.

Deep down, you knew this day would come. What did you expect, dating someone 10 years older than you? You just didn’t think it would come this soon. Or that it would hurt this much. 

As you sat there in the dimly lit living room, the weight of Joel's words hung heavily in the air. It had been a typical evening, sharing a meal and telling each other about your day, but something felt different tonight. The air seemed heavy with tension and Joel’s smiles didn’t really reach his eyes, betraying an inner turmoil that you hadn't seen before.

"Listen," he began, his voice tinged with regret, "I’ve been thinking a lot about something."

You felt a knot tightening in your stomach as you nodded, prompting him to continue.

Joel stared at the floor, avoiding your gaze. "I love you. So much. More than I ever thought I could love someone. But, I can't keep pretending that I can give you everything you deserve. I'm 35, and I've lived a life that's... complicated. I don't want to tie you down, especially when you have so much of the world left to explore."

You tried to understand his perspective. Tried to see where he was coming from but all you could think was, Why now? Why now when I’ve already fallen in love with you?

"I don't want you to look back one day and regret being with me," he continued, his voice gentle as he clasps both of your hands in his. "I couldn’t live with myself if one day you look at me and all I’d see is regret in your eyes. I want you to experience the world, to find your own path. I know you'll go on to do amazing things, and I don't want to be the reason you didn't." His eyes glimmered with tears. 

“And what about what I want?” You stared back at him, defiant. “What if I want to be here with you?”

He smiled softly and shook his head. “You know, I could be selfish and keep you here with me. But what can you achieve in this town, really? You had such big dreams when we met, remember? Don’t think I forgot.” 

He was right. You passed on a few big job opportunities in New York when you settled down with Joel, and you kept telling yourself you’d apply next week, which became next month, next year, until it never happened. Suddenly a fancy job and new apartment in the Big Apple didn’t seem appealing anymore. Not when you had Joel. 

“Dreams change.” was all you managed to get out before your throat started to tighten and you felt the prickling of tears in your eyes.

Joel pulled you in for a hug and buried his face in your shoulder. “Don’t change them for me. Never for me.” 

Deep down, you knew you had to go. Not because you wanted to, but because you knew Joel would never forgive himself if you didn’t. It was ironic and so painfully stupid that it hurt - he thought this breakup would help you and you went through with it to help him. 

So there you went. You packed your bags and you were out of there in less than a week. You moved in with a friend in New York for a couple of months until you secured a stable job and an apartment. You followed Joel's advice, exploring the world, pursuing your dreams, and building a life that was uniquely your own. You missed him more than you cared to admit, but you knew that his intentions had been pure, and in a way, it did benefit you. 

You have proper savings now, and you are a fully independent adult, carving your way painfully through a year of hard work, job searches, apartment hunting - all while navigating a broken heart. And while you love your new life, late at night in the dark of your fancy new apartment overlooking the city skyline, you often found yourself thinking, was it all worth it? 

But you shake your head out of the daze eventually. Because if it isn’t worth it then all the pain and all the tears were for nothing. So you had to love this life. Forced yourself to love it because that’s what Joel wanted for you. Joel. Even now, you still live for Joel. 

Until you didn’t. Your fingers freeze on your phone as you read the caption on Cassie’s new instagram post with a man who looks all too familiar. 

Excited to welcome a new chapter into our lives. 👶❤️

Your stomach sinks. Your phone drops to the bed. And tears sting your eyes. No. It can’t be. You pick up the phone again and there he is. Your Joel, messy hair as if he just rolled out of bed and his scruffy beard. Smiling at Cassie who’s holding a picture of an ultrasound. CASSIE? And JOEL?

You try to think back to every interaction they had during the course of your relationship but it had never been more than polite small talk at neighbourhood gatherings or run-ins at the grocery store. Wasn’t she married? Fuck this. You double tap the picture, giving it a “like”. This will give them something to talk about, you think spitefully. He wanted me to move on with my life? Well this is me, moved on. As you throw your phone to the other side of the bed, the pain finally sinks in and you cry into your pillow, wondering if you truly, will ever move on. 

In the years that pass, you try to distract yourself with work and your new friendships. On paper, your life in New York was going swimmingly well and you had even dated a couple of nice guys. Dating still gives you a little twinge in the heart but you ignore it for the most part. People would kill for the life you have and you will NOT be ungrateful about it. 

But of course, life is never that simple. Just when you think you’re able to find happiness, you get thrown a curveball. And this curveball came in the form of Joel Miller, standing in the cereal aisle of your local grocery store. He’s older, grayer, but damn him, he still looks so fucking good. You stand there staring for a moment, while he examines the box of Cap’n Crunch. As he puts the box back down and glances up, he meets your eyes and you hate this cliche, but you swear to God, time stands still. 

He whispers your name, almost in disbelief as his brows furrow. “Hey. Wow.” 

“Hey.” 

“You… How are you?” 

“I’m good. Yourself?” 

“Yeah great.”

Somehow this exchange cuts you deeper than the day he broke up with you. When did you become people who could barely speak 3 words to each other? 

Trying to alleviate the clenching of your heart, you speak up. “What are you doing here? This is the last place I thought I’d ever run into you.” 

He chuckles softly. “Yeah, I uh.. Tommy’s up here meeting a couple of friends and asked me to tag along. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out by the way, I should have texted when I knew we were heading –” 

You cut him off, not wanting to hear lies. “No, that’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to. You must be busy now anyways with the kid.” 

His eyes soften at that, guilt and pain flashing through them but you push on. “It’s fine, really. You’re not obligated to tell me these things. I just saw on Cassie’s instagram. Is she here too?” 

At that, he visibly stiffens and clears his throat as he replies, “Oh, Cassie and I aren’t together anymore. Well we were never.. But we kind of.. Yeah she’s not in the picture. It’s just me and Sarah.” 

Sarah. He had a girl. A little girl. Your stomach twists and you kind of feel like throwing up so you try to find an exit. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Well, Sarah is lucky to have you. I always knew you’d make a good dad.” 

He smiles for the first time in this conversation. “Truthfully, I have no idea what I’m doing half the time but she’s a good kid.” 

Enough. Enough. Enough. “Well, it was nice meeting you again Joel, and I’m glad you’re doing well–” 

“No, wait. Can we talk, please? I.. I’ve missed you. I want to talk.” Joel steps towards you as if to stop you from leaving but then holds himself back. 

“I don’t think we have anything much to say to each other anymore, Joel, don’t you think?” You chuckle a little to mask the overwhelming urge to cry. 

“I just want to know how you’re doing.” He looks at the ground, like a puppy scolded by his owner and you know you can’t resist the floodgates that pour out. You take a deep breath and let it all out in one exhale.

“Fine. You want to know? I’m doing great, just as you said I would. I make a ridiculous amount of money every year, I have a fancy apartment that overlooks the city, I have nice friends and a good life. It’s everything you wanted for me.” 

“You deserve it. I knew you would.” He says, nodding with a sad smile.

“So why don’t I feel happy yet?” You can’t believe it but you actually start to cry. Here in the middle of the damn cereal aisle in front of your ex-boyfriend. 

He stands stunned for a moment, his eyes concerned and brows furrowed. He eventually steps fully in front of you this time. His hands hesitate, as if he doesn't know where to put them, until he settles for your shoulders. “I’m sorry. I thought.. I thought you would be–” 

You bat his hands off your shoulders. “Yeah, you did. But it doesn’t matter because what’s done is done and we’ll never get it back. Any of it.” 

He says your name, pleadingly. 

“No, I don’t blame you. I left, didn't I? It was my decision too. I guess deep down some part of me thought I would be better off. And in a way I am. I really am. But I cannot lie to you and say that I’m happy Joel, because I’m not. And nothing will change that. Because this is my life now.” 

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as the weight of the years of separation hangs there. “I’m not either,” he whispers. 

“What?” 

“I’m not.. happy. Cassie and I had a fling when I was heartbroken and dealing with our breakup. She had just gotten divorced and I was.. I was planning to ask for you back. I was prepared to get on a fucking airplane and beg on my knees until you took me back. Whether that meant moving you back home or me moving here, it didn’t matter to me. We’d make it work. I just wanted you to know that I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have decided for you.” He places his hands on your shoulders again, and you let them stay this time. 

He continues, speaking quickly as if a dam has burst. “But then Cassie got pregnant. And I knew I had to make a choice. We said we’d try to raise the kid together and be a family but.. A few months after Sarah was born she just left. Literally, took off and left, and I have no idea where she went. Frankly, I don’t even care. And then I got so busy with the kid and then years passed, and I just lost the timing. What, am I just supposed to call you up 10 years after breaking up with you, telling you what a joke my life has become? How I’ve regretted every moment since you packed your bags?” 

You let all of his words sink in for a while before choking out, “And what do I do with all this information now? What do you expect me to do?” 

He’s tearing up and his voice rises a little as he replies, “Nothing. I don’t expect nothing. I just needed you to know that I never spent a day without thinking of you or loving you. And that I’m sorry. And that I wish you were happy, because if you were, then at least all of this bullshit would be worth it. But you’re not.” 

You nod, your brain not fully able to come up with words at this point, so he continues. “If you’d told me you were happy, I would have swallowed my pride, wished you well, and walked out of this store with the knowledge that at least all this pain has finally brought you joy. But we’re both hurting now, so what does that make us?” 

“Two idiots crying in the cereal aisle?” You offer with a small chuckle through your tears. 

He breathes out a small laugh. “Yeah. That it does.” 

A woman passing through the aisle snaps you both back to reality as you wipe your tears and gather yourselves. “It is really good to see you, Joel. And.. thank you for telling me all of it. It doesn’t change anything but I think I needed to hear it.” 

He shakes his head before looking into your eyes. “You know what the sick part is? 10 years ago I told you I never wanted you to look at me with regret in your eyes. Yet here you are.” 

You nod and smile sadly. There’s nothing left to say. 

His gaze turns soft. “I hope you’ll be happy someday. Maybe not now, but someday.” 

“Maybe. And yourself?” 

“Maybe.” He replies cheekily, smiling softly. With that, he pulls you in for a hug and the familiar waft of his cologne transports you back to 10 years ago when you hugged in his living room before saying goodbye, when you used to cuddle together so close at night, when he used to hug you before leaving for work. Your memories together flash before your eyes like a sick Hallmark movie except this time you know the ending. 

You feel the press of his lips against your head and you swear you hear him whisper the words “I love you” but you can’t be sure because your heart is pounding and you can feel it in your ears. Your life from this point on will always be divided into before and after. The point where you know, you just know, the choice you made is irreversible. You will never have Joel Miller ever again.

As you pull away, you both tearfully smile and look at each other for the last time. You spend a good minute just looking, memorizing the other’s face. You both don’t bother with the polite pleasantries of promising to keep in touch because you know that would be a lie. It would be too painful. This is your fate now. 

You walk past each other, leaving your memories and feelings behind in the dust of your footprints. To passersby, you look like strangers. Passing each other in the cereal aisle, meeting for a moment and then never again. And maybe that’s what you are now. Strangers, destined to be in each other’s lives for a moment, and then never again. 

Joel eventually goes back home to Austin, and you stay in your beautiful apartment which seems to be mocking you with how big and yet empty it feels. 

Joel looks at his daughter and wonders what it would be like if this kid was yours, and you stare at your phone, a message from your new date asking you to confirm a meeting time flashing on your screen.

Joel wonders what life would be like if you’d stayed. You wonder the same thing.

Tag list: @just-some-random-blogger @joeldjarin @pattwtf

[joshwinksmind-blog]

He's the hombre 😀

All the wrong is equivocado 😃 I don't team with tú 😄

Tú don't hear us 😁 Your dientes is gone 😆

I know something that's mejor 😅 You can nada 😂

Sólo leave us alone 🤣

Ever is what I'm dicho 😭 Stay off the césped 😉

Not aún 😗 I'll let you know cuando 😙

Proceso is slow 😚 This quick 😘

One go no 🥰 Be off completamente 😍

That one yo know 🤩 Sólo didn't want to see one another 🥳

No okay 🙃 To work from the phone, no 🙂

Gracias 😋

Baño 😛 In mine's estoy 😝

My mierda 😜 To put all them together is a asentarse 🤪

We go that camino 😇

Siempre I don't stay 😊 Get gone yo ☺️

Besides yes, I don't really like dicho 😏

I got nada 😌

I'm going to call you todos 😔 I'm goin llamar both of you before I choose which way to go 😑

My altura is in between 😐 Probablemente a perfect patch with your's 😶

Wear uncle afuera 🤔 Yes sure hizo 🤫

You already saber 🤭 That's good suficiente 🤗

Tú two look like twins ��

The noticias 🤨 I'm in tráfico 🧐 As soon as I'm out, the same habitación 😒

No 🙄 It's just palabras 😤 I got my ranura ready 😠

What was I dijo 😡 I don't recuerda 🤬 No 🥺 Es occupied 😟 I don't use it alguna vez 😥

There go su 😢 Them yo use ☹️ I ain't goin fill in the espacio 🙁

The exact one it's still disponible 😕

Everybody gone 🤐 The last one yo was 😰 Ain't ensuciar with that 😨 Would 😧 Just choose not a 😦

In my dormir 😮

The elección is your's 😯

Sí 😲

No mess 😳 While I'm recepción 🤯

Nor point the dedo 😬 I aceptar 😓 I know menos 😞

I'm one también 😖

You're losing dinero 😣

This yo with all us 😩

Snatched afuera 😫

No 😵 I comprender who don't know that 😴 Created no the same 😪

Obtuvo to 🤤 Impotente 🌛

It suit tú 🌜

Swatted 🌚 Después stay out the light 🌝

There's nada up with us 🌞 We distant ourselves before there's violencia 🥴

It takes votos 🥵 A clear me out is simple 🥶

Those professional scandals are seeking some gente 🤢 I'm available where there's an convenio 🤮

I take eso 🤧 No miss 🤒

A face levantar 🤕

I'm aquí 😷

Dos of them 🤠

Psicoanalizar cause 🤑

My imagination said nada 😎

One hundred million pilas 🤓

Forward cantó 🤥

It's that historia 🤡

Es mine 👻 Bed llamar 💩

I heard eso 👽

Rent eso 🤖

Puntaje 🎃 Puntaje like the WNBA player 😈

It's noon tiempo 👿 In the middle of día 👹

I'm going fuera de 👺

The same cosa 🔥

Socked 💫 It's that easy to hacer ⭐ Even words are tapando 🌟

My hand agarre ✨

Pocket mirando 💥

The straight camino 💯

I role with the show caracteres 💢

No such thing 💨 We're no alone 💦

eHll no 💤 I don't see tú 🕳️

Ahí it go 🎉 I'm calling my service until there's a asentarse 🎊

All girls got the hook arriba 🙈

This eso 🙉 This me in the same room before a pregunta 🙊

I'm like get the Infierno away from me 😺

Ain't known like that yo 😸

No more killing people 😹 We know how to stand on own dedos del pie 😻

Alguien want to replay the mess out of that 😼 That's all I recibir 😽

Jajaja 🙀 I be setting a trampa 😿

The f-bomb no 😾 I know one when I see eso ❤️

Knew cosas 🧡

Me también 💛 Es fun 💚

No 💙 Unless I'm about to get a free comida 💜

Shoot no 🖤 I don't go the wrong camino ♥️

The atracción 💘

Super blind estoy 💝 Next año 💖

It's on this hora 💗 Off in the same habitación 💓

Impaciente 💞 I got no desire to wait 💕

You're the artista 💌

Y'all can make the decisión 💟

That's not what I'm haciendo ❣️ Again the coast is clear suficiente 💔

Gracias 💋

I can show you better than I could tell tú 👥

There's an convenio 👤

I'm tired of respondiendo 🗣️

I ain't corriendo 👣 I'm taking my tiempo 🧠

Didn't have one yo 🦠

Tired of doing that estoy 🦷 I abandonar 🦴 You can hire somebody other than yo ☠️

As fueron 💀 No such cosa 👀

No 👁️

Take over the mundo 👄 Don't really have to news people about the next preguntarse 👅

Rodaja something without doing that 👃🏾

None hay👂🏾 We haven't met up aún 🦶🏾

You got the wrong empresa 🦵🏾 I left a long time atrás 💪🏾

These my trabajar 👍🏾 They're not, they're no 👎🏾 Pure nada 👏🏾 There's nothing importante 🙌🏾

I got my own nueces 👐🏾 That 🤲🏾 All my señoras can play with them as long they're good for it 🤝🏾 No to not stuff is allowed 🤜🏾

I'm working from hogar 🤛🏾

I do the same as nada ✊🏾

The mountain conjuntos 👊🏾

That hombre gone 🤚🏾 He ain't too far aunque 👋🏾

I comprender 🖐🏾 I'm a little diferente ✋🏾

Grown estoy 🖖🏾 You don't estrés 🤟🏾

No, I don't final 🤘🏾 Siempre I'm ✌🏾

Let's go quién 🤞🏾 That's the persona 🤙🏾

I don't saber 👌🏾 Could ser 🖕🏾 Can't ser ☝🏾

This still a good año to be at our best 👆🏾 The word crime got love in not really sucediendo 👇🏾

Sí 👉🏾 I just heard the noticias 👈🏾

I don't mente ✍🏾 That I, there's no other good one 🤳🏾

No 🙏🏾 You're tú 💅🏾

No 🙇🏾‍♂️ Tienda to just visit 🙋🏾‍♂️ Leaving it returning hogar 💁🏾‍♂️

I see nada 🙆🏾‍♂️

I see nada 🙅🏾‍♂️

You can hit yourself without touching others the level where estoy 🤷🏾‍♂️

Understand all four yo 🤦🏾‍♂️

Vamos second I'll 🙍🏾‍♂️

We can do lo que sea 🙎🏾‍♂️ Es too late to takeover that 💆🏾‍♂️

That's correcto 💇🏾‍♂️

I know nada 🧖🏾‍♂️

I just thought of alguna cosa 🛀🏾 I could use a estiramiento facial 🛌🏾

I thought of performance after actuación 🧘🏾‍♂️ With or without grabación 🚶🏾‍♂️

In my sleep, I'm impredecible 🏃🏾‍♂️ Fuera de of that, the coast is clear 🤸🏾‍♂️

I don't know that historia 🏋🏾‍♂️ It's totally diferente ⛹🏾‍♂️

I don't get to play aún 🤾🏾‍♂️

It look like got to do eso 🚴🏾‍♂️

I'm not really asking preguntas 🧗🏾‍♂️ I'm learning I no 🤼‍♂️

I'm a stranger quien es known 🤹🏾‍♂️