#and they thought it was hilarious that when an actor tapped me to scare me I just asked what he wanted

[arrowflier]

hi arrow! for your speedwriting, if you vibe with the prompt: gallavich go to fright fest together for the first time 👻 (them experiencing the decorations/scary street actors specifically would be amazing i think)

Thank you Ray!

"So?" Ian asks, walking backward with arms spread wide to either side. "What do you think?"

"I think it was crazy to spend sixty bucks a pop is what I think," Mickey retorts. "What's wrong with sneakin' in?"

Ian's arms drop, and though he would refuse to admit it, he pouts.

"If I hadn't gone through the line for tickets," he says, "I wouldn't have been able to tell the ticketer that it was my husband's first time here." He raises a brow, and adds, "and she wouldn't have comped that fast-pass upgrade."

Mickey's ears feel warm, the way they always do when Ian flaunts their still-new titles.

"I guess the decorations are cool," he gives in, and the beam Ian graces him with is worth it.

"Just wait 'til you try my favorite ride! It's across the park, but it's worth the walk!"

Ian is practically vibrating with excitement, bouncing on his heels. Every time he bounces up, his head aligns with some creepy clown guy standing behind him, making it look like he's the one wearing the awful red wig.

Mickey chokes back a laugh, and gestures with one arm.

"Lead on.""

-

Ian wasn't lying--they really are crossing the entire damn park. They pass half a dozen rollercoasters, a haunted mansion, some ride where you get to shoot stuff with lasers--Mickey is definitely coming back to that one--all glowing an eerie reddish-orange against the darkening sky.

The crowds thin a little as they go, too, shifting from kids and parents to edgy teenagers and a handful of other couples. The noise dissipates as they leave the main area, and so do the lights. The actors are gone, and the regular attendants. They're just walking through a darkened theme park in the middle of the night, the pavement growing cold beneath them.

Somewhere behind them a child shrieks, and laughter follows. The echoes are tinged with a malice that makes Mickey's shoulders hunch under his jacket, makes him draw it tight against the night wind.

"Somebody's having fun," Ian comments, but Mickey isn't so sure.

There's more laughter. Closer this time, louder.

"Hurry up man," Mickey says, and picks up his own pace. "I wanna get there before dawn."

He wants to get somewhere, at least. Somewhere with lights again, and people. Where he doesn't hear his own footsteps echo and feel the need to look back over his shoulder as harsh laughter closes in behind him.

In his haste, though, he's only made it worse. Because the next corner they turn leads into a tall tunnel of metal and piled brush, and suddenly they're completely alone.

"So, uh, how much farther we going?" Mickey asks, and walks as close next to Ian as he can. There's not much light in the tunnel, just a few colored bulbs and the little moonlight that makes it through overhead, but he's close enough to feel Ian shrug.

"Think we're almost there."

Mickey stops.

"You think?" he asks. There's a weird feeling climbing up his back, up his neck. "Or you know?"

"I mean, I'm pretty sure." Ian stops too, turns back to him. "Why? Something wrong?"

And no, nothing's wrong. But also, yes.

"Damn it Ian," he hisses, eyes closing as he runs a hand through his hair. "Can't believe I let you talk me into this."

Ian taps his shoulder, but Mickey shrugs it off.

"I thought we were gonna go on rides, maybe shoot somethin', scare a few kids," he goes on. "Not wander around in the dark, probably halfway out of the park, with no fucking clue where we are!"

"Mickey," Ian says quietly, and taps his shoulder again.

"Don't Mickey me!" His breath is coming fast, and he pinches the top of his nose. Breathes through his mouth instead. "I need to--"

One more tap on his shoulder, and he drops his hand, spins around and shoves.

"Mickey!" Ian shouts, and Mickey wants to push him again, needs to push past and out of this dead-end tunnel and out of this goddamned park and--

And Ian had said that from behind him. Which means...

Mickey opens his eyes, and stares in startled red. Red from colored contacts, which go with the kid's plastic fangs and black cape. Red that's surrounded on all sides by white, eyelids stretched in shock.

"Um," Mickey says, feeling both a lot more settled and a lot more embarrassed by how much the night had gotten to him. "Sorry?"

The kid just blinks at him. Behind, Ian laughs. And instead of echoing with malice, it lights up the tunnel like the sun.

“Sorry kid,” Mickey repeats. Ian is still laughing when he turns and takes his hand. “Shut up,” Mickey orders, swallowing the giggle that lightens his own chest, “and let’s go find your coaster.”

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

BAC: SECOND VIEWING NOTES!

Yeah i went again on sunday and really wanted to cry after because it's over forever Q_Q i am inconsolable but for the fact that there may be a halloween party... but uhhhhhhh anyway here's what I noticed this time!!

(also here's the notes from my first time for reference [x])

Ad libs:

Final show energy & lots of ad libs! Which were apparently real unscripted ad libs!! A lot of them were just little things (so I can't recount most of them) but they were very very good. the blorbos became real people for a second there

When Rich is looking for Mountain Dew Red at the party, Jenna appears and says "I have Mountain Dew Blue?" and he explodes at her (possibly "Not now, Jenna!")

When Christine and Jeremy talk together at the party, they're sitting on beanbags; after they get scared off by the skeleton guy, they're laughing and crawling back to their seats - Christine, through laughter: "oh where's the beanbag...."

Changes (?)

VIMH: Rich: "The ladies are gonna get to know the real Richard Goranski... And the dudes." Then he stares into the distance for like 30 seconds (a very long time), making calculating gestures in the air (like the woman with math meme) before going "Oh. My god............... I am totally bi!"

Maybe wrong, but I swear there was a wind part added to the middle of Michael in the Bathroom??? I thought it might be a flute or digital flute..... but as a flautist I might be projecting.....

The Play: Multiple thin green lights flickered down on people as they got squipped, with a cute video game chime sound. But fairly certain this was always there and I just noticed it this time lmao

Smartphone Hour: Background acting on the little platform at the very back of the stage: a scooby-doo esque chase sequence where a firefighter rushes on from SR and disappears SL (implied Jake's house is SL); the fireman reappears with Jake in his arms and runs back SR to safety. Then Jake runs back across to get something from his house and the fireman is trying to stop him. Then Jake runs back out of the house holding a teddy bear he saved from the fire; the fireman is chasing him back out of the house. It was fucking hilarious 10/10 especially because I couldn't be sure if it was a new addition or if I just completely filtered it out last time like a basketball gorilla dslfjdslfk

Also on Jake: between the teddy bear and the Upgrade scene (also detailed by Dani) where he's talking about archery while holding a plush duck - unsure dramaturgically if it's supposed to be a real dead duck or a toy, but anyway.... Jake who likes stuffies??? IDK if I buy it but I don't know enough about Jake to NOT buy it and its also a very fun headcanon I think so it's going on the pile for me. he can collect plushies with jeremy as far as im concerned dsljfsdkfjs

Oh yeah Jeremy also had a big white duck plush on his bed. edit: this is actually a seagull plush! Its name is Katie and it belongs to stage crew member Anya!

More details I saw this time

General

Christine actor was actually amazing she has this giggly honk voice she uses when being like obnoxiously loud and silly and idk how to describe it but such intense LOUD SILLYGIRL ENERGY. A little different than the chris im used to and it was fun to see another version of her!!

Maybe I'm insane but I think Christine also pronounced Jeremy kinda like 2 syllables (Jare - me). This extremely slight difference somehow led to me perceiving her singing "Is he worth it? Germyyyyyyy!" IDK Sorry Jaclyn if you are reading this ldksfjdlsk

Lots of times when Jeremy is talking about becoming cool he does little hip gyrations (think Rich at the urinal i guess but more subtle)

Jeremy does this thing where he holds his hand bent stiff with his fingers all together and taps hard on his right temple to express some kind of frustration with the SQUIP- e.g. when he's trying to get the SQUIP to turn on after the first day; during the end of the Halloween party, etc. Actually it very much has the same conceptual energy as "C'c'c'come on....." now that I think about it

Michael blows a cloud of smoke during a few of his entrances (MTS and maybe Halloween - or that was Dustin maybe)

He also uses a vape pen I think? When he says 'we gotta get stoned in my basement'

Preshow montage

Before the show, there's a montage of screenshots from the teens' lives on the back wall --- that is, their selfies and their text convos. Pretty sure the texts were that gossip submitted by fans? I only remember two:

"i heard that guy who wears hoodies all the time only listens to weezer" <- (I only noticed this one 'cause it KILLED ME honestly I feel like Jeremy would love Weezer and Michael would hate it sdjkfljdsf ) edit: this text was submitted by @/thesquirrelqueer!

I don't remember who was on which side, but Brooke or Chloe sending Chloe or Brooke a big comforting text after her breakup and making plans to go get ice cream I think?

MTS

"Dad haven't you ever heard of privacy?" He says this while putting on his belt after the opening.

Jeremy's actually gesturing towards his locker for like the entire conversation between Brooke, Chloe, Jenna; when they notice him finally it kinda looks like he's just pointing at them and that's part of why they think he's weird I think?

M: "Humanity has stopped evolving!" Jeremy then takes like 20 seconds of looking confused before going (approximately) "is that supposed to be good...?"

"Christiiiiiine Canigula!" Each Christine section he eventually (around 3rd time) starts using this fanboy totally-losing-his-mind-over-this voice which is REALLY hard to describe but i'll try: like lower & less articulate, like how it sounds when you raise your soft palate (?), and going up at the end kind of laugh-like like he's really excited. (For a bmc reference maybe sounds a little like will roland's tone in i even got some blood flowing / with no computer screen around). Anyway i'm not gonna lie it did make him sound really lame jsdlkfjdsf

"Why can't someone just help me out?" As Jeremy sings this bridge it's all dark except for a light on him. Students line up chairs behind him and sit down. At this line, two guys walk forwards on either side and touch his shoulders (looking kind of solemn / sympathetic) , and guide him back to sit in the chair in the middle. Then the lights come up on everyone and more group choreo wheeee

Post-ILPR MTS reprise

Christine: "Sorry, Jeremy, did you say something?" -> after this scene, she runs off giggling loudly, apparently glad to not be interrupted and VERY visibly excited about Jake asking her out

Jeremy sings "I don't wanna be special / Don't even want to survive...." (Instead of usual "Don't even need to survive.") Not sure if it was intentional but it happened at both shows I saw and made me sad both times noooooo........... guy...........

Squip song

Rich actually rubs his hands all over Jeremy's face (in addition to his arms)

"Top secret can't even look it up on the internet type shit": Rich looks to the side and mimes a rectangle (computer screen) then mimes typing where the keyboard would be

2PG

"I don't want that to be my future! Sad, and alone, and ... " - The music cuts out at "sad" instead of at the beginning of this line.

On their relationship in general, I think Michael irritates Jeremy more than fanon typically has it lol. Very excitable Michael who kinda lacks volume control (in several scenes - including VIMH even after Jeremy tells him to be quieter). Constructive interference of autism etc etc

(Again fun to see this!! as a jeremy stan i am definitely guilty of making michael a godlike perfect friend to jeremy and like.. no... they don't actually mesh that well even just in the script!! Often times Jeremy doesn't understand or care about the things Michael says. So yeah absorbing this into my headcanons now thank you)

Also back wall was this like vaporwave looking low-poly 2 person first person shooter game footage (think wolfenstein but with a very different aesthetic - purple and blue, and i think with some objects depicted in mesh).

BMC P1

When Jeremy's spasming on the ground (last time I thought he looked mostly in pain - this time he was vibrating a bit more like he lost muscle control) - local build-a-bear employee Jared Kleinman (JARED KLEINMAN...) and some other people start filming him.

Jared keeps filming him through the scene until SQUIP: "All they see is you having an animated conversation... with yourself." Jeremy turns and notices him; Jared doesn't stop filming but just waves at him nonchalantly (in a mocking way like hey buddy welcome back to reality)

Jared also has a BaB apron and BaB backpack on (or a bear sticking out of his backpack i dont remember). Pretty sure he also had a bear with him in another scene, probably Halloween?

"Lookin pretty sexy, brooke" -- says it in like a low Elvisy voice (like will connolly)

BMC P2

"Everything about you is going to be wonderful" -- Jeremy rolls up his cardigan sleeves so they're just below the elbow. (One of them slipped back down and he put it up again but I didnt think it was intentional lol). I was surprised how much instantly cooler that made him look but maybe that's just because my older brother wears his sleeves like that ljdsfkdsfklsfdlk

......also note that MICHAEL usually wears his sleeves rolled up like that in this production.... inch resting.....

MTS reprise

When the lights first come up, Jeremy is snoring with his head hanging off the side of the bed. He stops breathing for a second, then jerks awake.

GTIKBI

Chris: "I know you and Jake used to date...." Chloe and Brooke simultaneously go "Oh my god, no!!!" --- Chloe to Christine (mockingly), meanwhile Brooke is unrelatedly browsing her phone and says it in distress because she (implied) has just seen that Eminem died. As convo continues, Brooke sits next to another student (Leo Collins?) and shows them the article. (She still says 'yeah jake is so gross' to Chloe, just sounding upset)

Upgrade

I ALREADY SAID THIS BUT JEREMY AND BROOKE WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER JLKSDFLDFSJ. I decided to only watch them during this song (/ _ \) Based on their acting when they walked near the stage stairs, they had climbed to the back of the bleachers and were walking precariously on the outside of the railing - specifically, they went over the stair railings - first Brooke and she teeters a bit and jokingly pretends like she's gonna fall off; Jeremy goes under the rail, comes up on the other side and does a gesture like *tada!*. Then they sit down together and are talking and its just really cute. making me ship puppy love over here jdsifojdslkfdjsflk

Halloween

Michael was at the dance in costume - during a certain point (I think right before Rich starts losing it) Michael gets lost out of the group choreo, seems to be stressed out and runs off stage (presumably to the bathroom)

One of the guys is dressed up like Guy Fieri and it's really good. Like I remember last time I even had a moment where I realized I was interpreting this actor as playing The Real Guy Fieri At Jake's Halloween Party. Also in MITB he uses his hat (which is a combo of visor and fake hair) to knock on the door.

DYWH

Chloe: "...rock this baby fast asleep" then, laughing: "Goo goo ga ga!!" and she kinda topples onto him. The actress said she got this from the West End production!

When Jeremy says "I can't stand up." It was kind of implied it's because he has an erection not because his legs are frozen; right before this line he stands up then sits down and puts a pillow in his lap. Either way though ig it was still the SQUIP stopping him (S: "you're welcome.")

GTIKBI reprise

as Dani pointed out, Christine was sitting kinda numbly on the beanbag with headphones on; she takes them off when Jeremy starts talking to her.

Voices in my Head

Jeremy's wearing an X-Men shirt!

Re: expensive headphones - Michael's rubbing Rich's shoulders (???) when he says "I'm sure someone would be lucky to have you" (and then of course he still says but not meeeee while sending him flying)

"Throw you a rope home slice if you need some dope advice" Jake fist bumps with Jeremy (or equivalent gesture i dont remember)

Stagedorks kiss: after C says yes, they walk to the center of the stage. Jeremy rushes forwards and puts his hands on her cheeks (i think?) to pull her into a kiss. They separate, beat, then Christine goes forwards again and they have a long slow kiss while the ensemble keeps dancing and singing around them.

Not intentional i dont think but Patrick the Jeremy actor was crying a bit at the end /( T_ T \ )

OK YEAH i might add more to this if I remember and/or edit it back into the first post...... but hope that was fun to read????

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 24 of don’t read the last page is here!

masterpost

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

They all crowded around Anna’s shoulder, waiting with bated breath as she finished choosing a filter for the photo. “Wait,” Kristoff said suddenly, “should we check with Lena about this?”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Fuck Lena,” she said cheerfully, and pressed post.

---

It was, all things considered, not a particularly interesting day when it happened; it had been a scorcher of a late-July afternoon, and when Kristoff came home from the clinic he found Anna in the backyard lounging in a beach chair she’d finally caved and bought at Target when she could no longer get comfortable lying on a towel spread over the grass.

“Hi, honey,” she said around a mouthful of an orange push pop; the empty box had fallen over by her chair.

He laughed and leaned down to kiss her, setting his palm against the swell of her stomach. “Good thing I bought another box of those on my way home.

Anna thought nothing of it when the baby kicked in response; he’d done so for a while now at the sound of his father’s voice, but Kristoff froze, his face only an inch away from hers as his eyes widened.

Worried, she tilted her head. “Is everything alright?”

He swallowed hard. “Did you feel that?”

“Well, yeah, I’ve been feeling a lot of-- wait. Did you?”

He nodded, slowly, and as they stared at each other, stunned, another kick came, sharp enough this time that Anna yelped in surprise. “Okay, you had to have felt that one,” she groused. 

Kristoff nodded again, faster this time, as a laugh spilled from his lips. “It’s him,” he said, his eyes still wide. “I-- that’s him, Anna.”

Her eyes softened. “You know, we really ought to think of something to call him. I’m worried he’s going to get offended.”

A third kick came in response, and they both took it as a sign of agreement.

---

Sources say Westergaard has spent the past six weeks hiding out in his summer home in the Hamptons. When asked for comment, his representative told Buzzfeed, “Mr. Westergaard’s previous remarks were taken out of context and twisted by the media. He will be starting an anti cyberbullying foundation in his name. He asks that you respect his privacy during this difficult time.”

Sven looked up from the article Kristoff had printed and handed to him. “Shit, how the hell can anybody have a difficult time at a mansion in the Hamptons?”

“Show a little sympathy. The man’s just had to face the consequences of his actions for the first time in his life,” Kristoff said with a smirk. 

“Ought to hang out with a pregnant woman more often, he’d learn his lesson really quickly about the consequences of-- oh, hey, Anna,” Sven said with a grimace. “You, uh, you forgiven me yet for getting onions on the pizza?”

She scowled and crossed her arms, her eyes shooting daggers at him across the room, and he sighed and picked up his phone to order a new one.

---

“Anna?” 

She yelped in surprise and tugged the shower curtain back, coming face to face with a frowning Kristoff. “Jesus, you scared me. What’s wrong?”

“Sorry-- it’s just…” He frowned and held up his phone. “How does Twitter know I’m a vet?”

The bubbles in her hair forgotten, she leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “What? It’s just a picture of us leaving Chipotle.”

“Huh? Oh-- shit, sorry, let me scroll down to the replies.”

He pushed his glasses further up his nose as he did so before raising the phone screen again. “Look, they’re all sending me hamsters.”

She knew he was genuinely worried, and she was sympathetic, really she was, but Anna burst into laughter. “A hamster eating a banana.”

“Yeah, and they’re not supposed to even eat that much, so the bad pet ownership is bad enough already, but-- anyway, that’s beside the point, I--” He scowled. “Anna, I really don’t think this is funny.”

“It’s just a meme, Kristoff.”

“But I don’t get it.”

“Look at the picture of us again, and then the hamster, and then get back to me,” she said, yanking the shower curtain closed again. 

“But--”

“If you still haven’t gotten the joke by the time I figure out how to shave my ankles, then I’ll come explain.”

Twenty minutes later, when she emerged wrapped in a towel, she peered into the bedroom and saw Kristoff sitting on the bed, his face bright red, as he stared down at his phone. “Solve the mystery yet?” she asked drily as she dug through his t-shirt drawer for something to wear.

“My, uh, my little brother, he uh...he knows about memes, so I texted him, and I...uh…”

She laughed again as she finished getting dressed. “Did he laugh at you, too?”

He groaned and ran a hand over his face. “Pretty sure he’s still laughing.”

---

“Anna! Anna! Miss Arendelle!” She rolled her eyes and tightened the drawstring of her hoodie. Kristoff put an arm protectively over her shoulders as they continued hurrying out of the doctor’s office. “Miss Arendelle, please, if I could just--”

“You can not.”

“We just want to know if it’s a boy or a--”

She turned on her heel and said drily, “It’s a mountain troll, obviously.” She gestured irritably at Kristoff. “See? Takes after his father.”

The next morning, she woke up to the ding of a text from Sam. Maybe you really are better off being your own PR person.

A link to another Buzzfeed article was attached. Curious, she tapped it.

Watch Anna Arendelle’s Hilarious Comeback To A Nosy Photographer!

“Would you look at that,” she mumbled under her breath.

Next to her, Kristoff stirred and rolled over. “Look at what?” he mumbled.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep, mountain man.”

---

Anna came home from a meeting one night and caught Kristoff piled up in the recliner reading one of her pregnancy books. To her surprise, his face was ghost-white. “Kris,” she asked, concerned, “what’s wrong? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Just, you know, reading about the labor part.”

“Is it grossing you out that bad?” She couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re a vet, I’m sure you’ve seen worse. Especially with this stuff.”

He looked up then, and to her surprise, his eyes were solemn behind his glasses. “It’s different when you’re picturing your fiancee.”

All the air in her lungs escaped her in a quiet oh. She crossed quickly to the bed and climbed up, crawling towards him. He set the book on the nightstand and looked up at her, worry still in his eyes, as she settled her knees on either side of his lap. Out of habit, he set one hand on the swell of her stomach, the faintest of smiles appearing on his face when a little foot nudged against his hand.

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart,” she said softly, settling her own hands on his shoulders. “It’ll all be fine.”

“Sometimes it’s not, though.” 

She winced, and immediately he was apologetic. “I-- shit, sorry, I’m not trying to scare you, it’s just--”

“No, no, you’re right,” she reassured him, gently squeezing his shoulders. “Sometimes it’s not. But it will be. You know me, I’m too stubborn to let anything go wrong.”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

She bit her lip; she had never seen him like this, never known him to be so nervous he couldn’t be comforted. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. “What part is scaring you?” she asked, her voice low.

“I don’t want to see you hurting. Especially when I know I can’t do anything to help.”

“You can help. Just having you in there will do so much.”

“But it won’t stop it,” he said, his voice forlorn, and she kissed his cheek, letting her lips linger there as she nuzzled her nose against his temple.

“No. But that’s what epidurals are for.”

“What if--” he said before trailing off, not daring to even give voice to the words.

“Kristoff Bjorgman, you listen to me,” she said, pulling back and waiting to continue until he reluctantly met her gaze. “I have no doubt in my mind that everything will be fine. Okay? I just-- I just won’t let anything bad happen.”

“But you can’t--”

“Have you ever seen anything stop me from doing what I want before?”

She felt him shake his head no. 

“So nothing will stop me this time. I’m going to have this baby-- our baby-- and we’re both going to be fine, and you will too, and when we get to hold him, then you’ll forget you were ever worried about this at all.”

---

Anna and the interviewer both threw back their heads with a laugh as Mattias finished telling them both about his first time at the Oscars and how he’d failed to recognize the man who’d just won Best Actor-- twice.

“How about you, Miss Arendelle?” the interviewer asked as Anna finished wiping the last tear of laughter from her eye. “How do you feel about going to your first Oscars next year?”

She felt her cheeks coloring. “Oh, well, we’ll see if we even get there.”

The interviewer laughed. “Modest as always. There’s already lots of Oscar buzz around the movie and your performance in particular.”

Anna shifted awkwardly in her seat. “Um. Sort of like puking, if I���m honest.”

That got them both laughing again. “Speaking of puking, though,” the interviewer said cheerfully, “what’s it like being a first-time mother and a first-time movie star simultaneously?”

“Amazing and terrifying and wonderful and just...so many things all at once,” she admitted. “I really couldn’t do it without my support network, especially my fiance. It’s just...yeah. I can’t thank everybody enough.”

“Speaking of your fiance...are you willing to share your thoughts on where in the world Hans Westergaard has run off to?”

Her lips curled up into a smirk.

---

“Remind me to get more tomato juice at Trader Joe’s today,” Anna called as she pored through another script that had been sent her way-- another period drama, but this one, at least, wouldn’t involve squeezing her recently-pregnant body into a corset.

“We don’t need to,” he replied as he came into the kitchen carrying a basket of freshly dried towels. “You’ve been going through it so fast this week I set up one of those Amazon weekly delivery things. There’ll be three gallons of it on the porch in--” He glanced at his watch. “An hour. Wanna help me fold all this shit and watch HGTV?”

She stared at him for a long moment as he passed her, absentmindedly whistling one of the songs she’d driven him crazy with that winter, and walked into the living room.

It occurred to her, all of a sudden, that some things were worth waiting for-- but that sometimes, there was no longer any worth in waiting.

“Kris?” she said as he set the basket down.

“Yeah, baby?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as she crossed over to him and stood between his knees.

She cupped his face in her hands, studying his expression as he smiled softly and set his own hands on her hips. “Can I say something crazy?”

“You usually don’t bother asking.”

Under normal circumstances, she would have laughed and leaned down to kiss him, but instead she broke into a wide smile. “What if we just got married?”

[thats-specific]

@little-miss-shy-goth here’s your request! Thanks for requesting and sorry it took so long. 🥺

(Also this isn’t as great as I’d want it to be, but I hope you like it anyway!)

Here’s the request:

Hello, can you do a fluffy Beetlejuce x reader fic or a fluffy Dewey fic about how they would react if they found out the reader is not a fan of kissing scenes because of the awkwardness? If not, that’s ok, I understand ^.^

I opened the microwave door and took out the hot bag of popcorn, pouring it into a large bowl. Betelgeuse and I had planned a movie night tonight, and it was his turn to pick the movie. I grabbed the bowl and turned to walk back into the living room to find him looking through dozens of movies. I sat down on the couch as he turned to face me.

“How about this gem?” He asked, waving a movie case in my face. I smiled and looked at the movie case in front of me. A very cliche and very terrible rom com. Usually he would pick an action or horror movie, but a romantic comedy? It seemed really unlike him.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “A rom com? Really?”

He laughed. “Yeah. Come on, it‘ll be fun. These kind of movies are so cringey they’re funny.”

I exhaled and reluctantly agreed. I couldn’t say no to him-which scared me a little. Here I was, falling for someone who would never like me back, dating other people just to try to get my mind off him. Sure, he casually flirts with me all the time, but thats how he is which everyone. I’m nothing more than a friend. Sad but true.

The movie started and we half-way watched it, turning our attention to each other every once in a while, getting lost in conversation throughout the movie. I know it’s cliché to say that I was falling for my best friend, but I was. And I hated it.

Towards the end of the movie, I focused my gaze back on the TV to see two characters sharing a kiss. It was a really awkward, slightly cringey kissing scene. I hated watching them, so I looked down at my phone, tapping it nervously with my fingers. Beej laughed and pointed at the TV, nudging me with his shoulder.

“See? This is hilarious! It’s so-hey, you’re not watching!”

I looked up from my phone and shrugged. “I just don’t see what you like about these kind of movies. They’re boring.”

He gasped. “Are you serious? This is comedy gold, and you promised you’d watch a movie with me!” He snapped his fingers and my phone disappeared out of my hands, a thin cloud of green smoke surrounding where it was. I scoffed and looked at him.

“Was that really necessary?” I asked, annoyed.

“You’ll get it back when the movie’s over,” he said sternly, crossing his arms.

I rolled my eyes and directed my gaze back at the screen. A few minutes later, two other characters in the movie started kissing and I shifted my gaze to the ceiling, then back at my fiddling fingers. Beej seemed to noticed, and looked as if he was about to say something, but I quickly took the popcorn bowl and headed for the kitchen before he could.

“I’m just gonna go make some more popcorn...” I mumbled as I walked away.

“Where are you going? The movies almost over,” he asked, concerned .

“Just gonna refill the popcorn, thats all...” I said from the kitchen.

“Well do you want me to pause it until you come back?” He called from the living room. I peeked my head from behind the wall to lock eyes with him.

“NOO, no it’s fine,” I laughed nervously.

He eyed me suspiciously but turned his attention back on the movie. I made another bag of popcorn, hoping that the movie didn’t have anymore terrible kisses in it.

Right as I was coming back, I heard Betelgeuse’s raspy laugh from the living room. “Oh babes, get in here, come look at this!”

I glanced back at the TV from behind the kitchen counter to see yet another kiss, this time between the two main characters. I cringed again and turned around to focus back on the popcorn.

“Oh come on, how many kissing scenes can this movie have?” I asked in frustration.

I heard him laugh from the couch behind me. “What is it, babes? Can’t handle a little romance?”

I playfully rolled my eyes again and turned around again to lean against the counter, eyeing him from the kitchen. He stared back into my eyes from the couch, sitting up.

“Okay, what is it?” He asked, pausing the movie to turn his full attention to me.

“What are you talking about? Nothings wr-“

He cut me off. “No, don’t give me that. Somethings wrong. You love watching movies with me. Why don’t you want to tonight?”

I broke eye contact with him and tried to gather a response. “I-“

“Come here,” he said, scooting over and patting the couch next to him. “Let’s talk.”

I smiled and exhaled sharply, trudging towards the couch. I sat down next to him and looked around the room, avoiding his eyes.

“Alright, what’s going on?” He asked, focused on me.

“What makes you think-“

“You’re avoiding eye contact, you obviously don’t want to watch this with me. Something’s wrong.”

He knew me too well. And the last thing I wanted was to get caught in his eyes.

“It’s not that I don’t want to watch this with you, it’s just...” I exhaled, my gaze fixated on the wall behind the T.V. “I hate watching kissing scenes, okay?” I admitted.

I looked over at him as he gave me a confused look.

“Wait, that’s what this is all about? A few people kissing in a movie?” His lips curled into a slight smile. I shot him a serious look, and his smile faded. “Oh, you’re being serious...”

I looked down, embarrassed.

“Babes, why do you hate kissing so much to where you can’t even watch a movie with one in it?” He began. “Because I think it’s hilarious to watch bad actors kiss on screen.”

I shook my head, looking at the floor. “I don’t know, I’ve just never liked watching anyone kiss.”

He seemed to think for a second, and turned to me. “How long has this been going on?”

I thought back years ago to when it started. To the best of my knowledge, I’ve had this hatred of watching people kiss ever since high school.

“Actually, I did have a terrible first kiss...now that I think about it, that’s when it started.”

I looked over at Beej, who looked as if he were acting like a therapist, and smiled at his curious expression.

“Hmm...” he said, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. “Tell me about it.”

“I don’t really like to talk about it...” I trailed off.

“Wait,” he said. “Was it consensual?”

I frowned. “No...”

“Okay....well, what about other times? With other people?” He asked. I got embarrassed again and fiddled with my fingers once more.

“I haven’t kissed anyone else...” I admitted. There was a short silence and I looked over at him, staring at me in disbelief. I smiled.

“I’m serious!” I playfully hit his chest and crossed my arms, feeling a bit flustered.

“Wait, you mean to tell me that you’ve only been kissed once? Your whole life?”

He asked, shocked.

I smiled. “Yeah...”

“Why?”

I met his eyes. “I’m scared.”

His expression softened. “Scared of what?”

“Scared that every kiss will end up like that first one. Scared that it won’t be, you know, like that.” I gestured towards the TV, where the characters were gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. “My first kiss was awful...how do I know that all the rest won’t be the same?”

He exhaled and turned his entire body towards my direction, facing me. “(Y/n), look. Not every kiss is going to be good. But, you can’t live your life scared of the past. The past is over, and there’s no way that the next time you kiss someone it’s gonna be like that. You’ve just got to take a leap of faith. Stop being scared about things you can’t control, you know? Stop living in fear because one bad thing happened.”

I looked at him strangely. He’s never said anything like that. But I realized he was right. I met his eyes again.

“You know what? You’re right.”

I grabbed him by his collar and pulled his lips to mine for a split second before pulling away. I looked up at him nervously. He was understandably shocked, wide-eyed as the tips of his hair began fading into a bright pink. He didn’t hesitate though. Without warning, he brought our lips together again and kissed me passionately. Of course, I kissed back immediately, satisfying the urge I’ve had since the day I’ve met him. He snaked his hands around my waist, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. It was everything I had ever wanted since the day we met. Surprisingly, he pulled away first and I opened my eyes, trying to decipher his expression.

“Wait, whoa, whoa, you’ve felt this way about me this whole time and you never said anything?” He asked, confused.

“Yeah...?”

He wore a look that I had never seen before. He looked confused, curious, and relieved all at the same time. “I never thought anyone would ever have genuine feelings for me...”

“Well I guess we both proved each other wrong.”

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Pennywise (2010s duology)

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

27 years after the miniseries adaptation, a new adaptation of Stephen King’s It came along, and with it, a new Pennywise the Dancing Clown. As hit or miss as the miniseries was, pretty much everyone is in agreement that Tim Curry’s fantastic, hilarious performance is the one bright spot of that version, meaning anyone who would be playing Pennywise in the new version would have some pretty big clown shoes to fill.

Thankfully new Pennywise Bill Skarsgard is 6’4” tall, a size that is most certainly big enough to fill any size clown shoes his predecessor may have left. His performance is a fantastic new take on an iconic character, and while it certainly does have weaker elements to it (as Curry’s did), there’s still more to love than there is to hate.

Actor: Bill Skarsgard portrays Pennywise this time, and while he is quite obviously no Tim Curry, he most definitely is a Bill Skarsgard. I love everything he brings to this role: his intimidating height, his creepy voice, that weird thing he does with his eyes… in the same manner in which Curry brought his Pennywise to life with the voice and mannerisms of a charming kid’s show host, Skarsgard brings his Pennywise to life with the mannerisms of an alien beast that can only just barely put forth a front of normalcy as it hunts its prey, and because of this he manages to make Pennywise utterly terrifying.

Motivation/Goals: Pennywise’s motivation is the same as it always is: he comes around every 27 years to eat children, opting to spice them up with a healthy dose of fear before going in for the kill. Frankly, in this regard he is really no different from the Tim Curry version or the book version, though he does opt to do things in a more overtly sinister manner than the other two incarnations, and when it comes time for him to harass the adult Losers in Chapter Two, while he does opt for some jokes here and there, he mostly remains creepy and disturbing the whole time.

Personality: This take on Pennywise is actually quite interesting, as compared to the Tim Curry one, this one is actually legitimately terrifying… to a fault. He is so utterly monstrous that a lot of the time it’s hard to believe he could ever sucker children in to being his victims, with Georgie’s death being a prime example – Pennywise is so absolutely creepy to the point of salivating over the thought of eating Georgie that the kid nearly runs before he gets within biting range. He’s pretty light on the jokes too, but frankly I don’t see that as a big minus; I like that this Pennywise is creepier and legitimately unnerving.

Final Fate: This is where the Skarsgard version truly has the Curry one beat; instead of turning into a giant, awful stop-motion spider, Skarsgard’s Pennywise turns into a giant clown drider and tries to kill the Losers. While he manages to get Eddie in the final confrontation, the remaining members all band together and… basically just insult him until he shrinks down and they can rip his heart out. When I said this has Curry’s beat, I never said it was perfect, after all. At the very least a green glow post death implies that Matarin was helping the gang, and Pennywise seems definitively dead in this continuity, so at least this goofy finale leads into a happy ending.

Best Scene: Much like Curry, Skarsgard has no shortage of fantastic scenes to pick from, with my personal favorite being when he unfolds from the fridge to attack Eddie in the first movie. However, objectively speaking, I think Skarsgard’s most definitive moment is his insane little jig he does to try and weird out Beverly, which went absolutely memetic after the film released. Of course, what the memes don’t tell you is when Beverly does not respond to his goofy dance, he peels back his face and shows her his deadlights, causing one of the most wonderful mood whiplashes I have ever seen in any film ever.

Honestly, I do find it kind of amusing the funnier Pennywise got a best moment where he was actually scary, while the scarier Pennywise got a best moment where he was actually pretty funny.

Best Quote: Unlike Curry, I don’t feel like Skarsgard was really a goldmine of quotes. Still, he gets some good bits in where they count, such as when he feigns hurt feelings at Bill for not thinking his scares are “real” enough. However, I think his taunting of Richie over his closeted gay desires, complete with a goofy little song, is his best bit for just how many lines it ends up crossing before finally landing on darkly hilarious:

“Did ya miss me, Richie? 'Cos I've missed you! No one wants to play with the clown anymore. Play a game with me, would ya? How about Street Fighter? Oh, yes, you like that one, don't you? Or maybe Truth or Dare? Oh, you wouldn't want anyone to pick Truth though, would you, Richie? You wouldn't want anyone to know what you're hiding. I know your secret! Your dirty little secret! Oh, I know your secret! Your DIRTY little secret! Shall I tell them, Richie?”

Final Thoughts & Score: Skarsgard’s take on Pennywise is a take I just love. I love the weird quirks and mannerisms Skarsgard brought to the table, such as the eye thing his Pennywise does or the weir contortions and gestures and faces. I also love just how menacing and disturbing his Pennywise is, something that I felt was especially lacking in Curry’s performance; while Curry was certainly funny and had superb line delivery, he just couldn’t muster up a single shiver from me the way Skarsgard’s take on Stephen King’s monster clown did.

So, of course, I give him a 10/10. It really helps Skarsgard didn’t have a finale half as bad as Curry’s Pennywise did, and he did manage to be genuinely amusing in Chapter 2, though certainly not to the extent Curry’s Pennywise was. He’s an enjoyable take that, while not as entertaining in persona and comedy, is definitely a fun watch in terms of horror and sheer sadistic glee. It’s sort of a Heath Ledger’s Joker to the Jack Nicholson Joker that Curry’s take was: two excellent, valid performances of the same character that are great for different reasons.

But here’s the thing: they aren’t perfect. Out of all of Stephen King’s villains, Pennywise is one of the ones that could easily be an 11 out of 10. He’s iconic, he’s entertaining, he’s a big figure in pop culture and has inspired numerous monster clowns and eldritch abominations since his inception… and yet, every time the character has been put to screen so far, there is just something missing, that secret essence that King tapped into in his book that managed to make Pennywise equal parts darkly comic and unrelentingly monstrous. As far as adaptations go, these facets of Pennywise have been split into two performances, and if we ever got them in one performance, we’d have the definitive Pennywise that I could safely say is one of the greatest cinematic villains ever.

For now, we’re at least fortunate to be stuck with two great, unique takes on It. Let’s see how they do him justice 27 years from now in the next adaptation.

[beamdolans]

Only Have Eyes For You [G.D]

SUMMARY: His dads insane, his mothers a disheartened wreck, his brother is a major junkie, and his bad boy facade is driving him mad. All the girls desire the secretive boy, but he only has eyes for her.

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: sorry a lot of depressing shit and smut I guess. possible triggers? also this is my first fanfic so get ready for some punctuation mistakes!

A/N: thanks recognizedolan on instagram for the manip. This is also part one of a many parted sieries!

[Y/n’s POV]

Tuesday, April 2nd, 4:11pm

"Can someone tell me again why the fuck we're here?" My long time, best friend Rachel exclaimed, quite loudly and very deliberately to Mr.White. I buried my head in my hand and shot her a look across two desks that screamed 'shut up'. Mr.White sauntered over to Rachel and placed his large hands on the gum covered desk that stood before her.

"Well, Miss.Smith." He paused, and locked his gaze on hers, making sure to draw out the uncomfortable silence. The only thing heard in the dimly lit room was the sound of the clock ticking and my uneasy, heavy breaths.

"You and Miss.y/l/n messed up pretty badly yesterday." He stopped and glared in my direction, eye balling me up and down, with the look of disgust plastered so blatantly on his face. He turned his balding head back over to Rachel and let out a sigh that started to sound like it was gonna go on forever. "You socked Mrs.Anderson in the head, she passed out, bless her soul. Then you snuck out of the school, came back with a giant jug of vodka, got hammered in 4th period with Miss.y/l/n, and basically started a riot throughout the 12th grade." Mr.White's voice was so calm and monotone, it was almost terrifying.

From the other side of the room by the window, you could hear deep chuckles coming from the boy that shot over a painfully perfect smile. It lit up the room. "If I were you, I'd keep my laughing to myself, Mr.Dolan." The old man said to Grayson, a boy who basically lives In this room 24/7.

Grayson licked his pink lips and looked down at the ground with a smirk still glued to his face. He picked up his right ear bud, popped it back in his ear and kept working on whatever he was working on.

"Please Rachel, humour me. Am I right?" Mr.White said, knowing damn well he was just being a huge smartass. Rachel crossed her arms and gave the gum in her mouth a loud smack. "That was a rhetorical question.” She sassed. "Well if you didn't want an answer, then you shouldn't have asked." Mr.White raised his hand and placed his pointer finger to her chest, and poked it hard. Rachel quickly grew a perplexed and outraged look on her face. She took her hand and grasped it around his wrist firmly, and stood up so the two were now eye to eye. "Don't fucking touch me, Gary." She said with gritted teeth and furrowed eyebrows.

Rachel wasn't really the type to keep to herself, or just leave a situation as is, a thing most people would do to not make matters worse, but I guess they come in all different types.

I hear Grayson let out a grunt, causing the two to jerk their attention to where he was sitting. "Is everything all right over there? It looks like you guys need some help." He was now standing to his full height and had his hand placed on the back of his neck, rubbing the tension out of it unbearably slow. He knew damn well things were not going over well, he's a bit to cocky for my liking. The room was filled with awkward silence and Mr.Whites eyes were now on Rachel's hand clasped around his wrist. He cleared his throat and pulled away, now leaning against his desk.

"No talking, no moving, and I would like all of your phones on my desk please and thank you."

We all didn't obey to his words right away and stayed in our seats. I saw Rachel look down and twiddle her thumbs, while Grayson rested his elbow on his desk and his head in his palm. I think we were all a little to scared to move. Well, I was at least. "C'mon I'm not getting any younger here." Mr.White said with his hand reached out in front of us, waiting for us to oblige. "Ya got that right." Rachel said under her breath. I got up out of my seat and placed my phone in his hand, and Grayson did the same. "Sorry, say that again Miss.Smith." He said obviously not amused. "How old are you again Mr.White?" Rachel tilted her head, looking actually intrigued by her question.

Damn that girl was a good actor. I get why she's the lead in almost every single school play.

Mr.White cleared his throat. "52." He said, hands in pockets. "Ahh, time has not been kind to you Gary." Rachel said while placing her legs atop her desk and her arms behind her head.

Me and Grayson both let out a laugh that would have been too troublesome to keep in. Gary, sorry, Mr.White cocked an eyebrow and stared hard at the three of us, making sure to let all of the uneasiness he had to offer seep into our heads. He grabbed his bags and headed for the classroom door. "I'll be back at 9:00." He exclaimed visibly hurt by the remake made earlier.

We watched the door lock behind him and the giggling started to subside.

"Damn back at 9:00? I got things to do!" Grayson said taking a look at his watch, and whining at it since it was only 5:00. "And by things to do I assume you mean go out and get in every single girl pants?" Rachel questioned, while popping the gum in her mouth a couple hundred times.

Grayson licked his teeth and bobbed his head a few times before strolling over to the side of the class we're both of us have been sitting. He pulled up a chair and rotated it so his hands were placed upon the back of it and his legs were hugged around the bottom. He shook his head and explained, "I'm not into that dumb shit."

I found that very hard to believe since the stories about Kelly Ransom, Lucy Adams and so many more girls I can't even remember the names of have been going around since 9th grade, and he's never opposed to them once.

"Mhmm." Rachel said clearly not convinced either. Grayson's smirk slowly faded. He looked to the ground and tapped his fingers on the top of his seat, looking uncomfortable.

"I'm not into some dumb shit." He raised both eyebrows, leaned back, and opened his arms wide, "What the fuck do you think? That I'm some pussy 18 year old virgin?" He scoffed, "If I'm in the mood, I could get some desperate preppy girl from the cheerleading team to drop to her knees instantly and suck me off, when ever I wanted. It's a blessing." He smiled, "I don't force girls on me, they just migrate to my dick."

Rachel choked on a laugh.

He's full of it. I could tell he was just trying to prove a point to the now two curious girls he found himself talking too. He was exaggerating. I hope. "Aren't all those girls you fucked with why your here?" I said needing some type of closure. Grayson looked in my eyes and smiled.

I've known him since grade 5 and ever since then I've thought that he was the most beautiful man to have walked the earth. When ever his gaze meets mine, my heart seems to skip a beat. I really don't have a thing for guys like him, so to me, he's just eye candy.

"Look who's talking. Y/n, never thought I'd see you in here." He shuffled closer to me. I rolled my eyes, "Well yea, I don't do stupid shit." Grayson smirked, then looked down, "Getting drunk at school and punching a teacher in the head isn't stupid enough?"

That boy thought he was so hilarious.

Rachel grabbed the gum out of her mouth and chucked it across the room.

'Boom!' She yelled after she shot it perfectly into the overfilled garbage can at the front of the class. "Yea she's not into the things that could even get her remotely in trouble." Rachel winked at me, then continued to try and shoot rolled up balls of whatever was in arms reach into the trash. "Shut up!" I said smiling, nudging her arm. "I was with you when all that shit went down!" Rachel scoffed, "Yea, but I did all the work." She stood her ground. "You're cute, you know that?" Grayson said beaming in my direction, playing with the cords of his ear buds.

Rachel raised her eyebrows and took her feet off the desk. She quickly turned in our direction and stood from the old chair she was sitting on, causing a agonizing squeaky noise. She crossed her arms and stared into Grayson's memorizing hazel eyes, for longer then what would keep a person sane. "Take a picture sweetheart, it last longer." He said smugly. She wound up her dainty, very surprisingly robust arm and whacked him right on the side of his cheek.

I jolted back and put my hands to my mouth, trying so hard to hold in a laugh. Rachel started to crack up from her actions while giving me a proud glance. "What the fuck was that for?!" Grayson said while rubbing the spot of contact. "She's too good for you." She said while signalling over to me. Grayson looked at her, then at me with shocked astonishment. "What!?" He said confused. "She's way out of your league. She's got a better personality than you'll ever have, she's basically a precious gem." Rachel said getting down to Grayson's level, giving him a pouty face.

Grayson peered up at me with a look that had embarrassment written all over it. "Ouch." He said, "I guess I'll have to step up my game then." He walked back over to his seat and placed his black ear buds back into his ear before closing his eyes, looking just a bit too comfortable. "There's no music playing dumb ass. You don't have your phone." Rachel said while taking a seat beside me. "Yea, I realized that after I put them in, I didn't want to ruin the moment." He said letting out a giggle. Rachel shrugged, sighed, then put her hand over top mine and rubbed circles onto it while humming to herself. I looked over at him, his face looking as content as ever.

Maybe Dolan wasn't such a bad guy, besides all his dick sucking bull shit.

[cutegirlmayra]

Maybe a British spy shadamy prompt? I loved how you did the sonamy one!

(x wasn’t able to find the artist, if you know them, please let me know!)

based upon: Sonamy spies (x) Also, thank you =///w//n=

Prompt:

Shadow quickly adjusted a watch on his wrist, pushing back and feeling the tightening squeeze of his limiter-ring remind him of how dangerous he truly was.

He then scowled, hearing a cheery voice behind him use the palm of her hand to puff up her quills and skip up behind him.

“Alright! So all I have to do is nab the emerald and keep Sonic off your scent, right?” She prepped herself one last time, looking in the mirror directly across from Shadow, who finally turned to place his hand quietly and subtly on the mirror’s desktop in front of it.

“Let me make something very clear…” He slightly hunched over, making her look at him funny. Seeing his head dip, she suddenly realized he was annoyed, as his ears drew back and he moved in.

“Don’t…” His head swerved into her exact eye-line, scaring her enough to jolt backward slightly. “…Get in my way…”

He walked by her, letting his hand roll up from the desk as she scoffed, and wrinkled her nose.

She looked off after him, stomping her foot down and putting her hands to her hips, “Hey! I’m no bloomin’ push-over ‘ere!” she walked confidently without a bounce in her step, something he looked down at in surprise before back up at her, moving his arm away from her curved approach to stopping him dead in his tracks.

“I beg your pardon?” He rose an eyebrow.

“I was asked by your cohorts here to do you boys a favor.” She nodded her head in a figurative gesture behind him as if referring to the company he worked for, known as G.U.N.

“They explicitly stated that you couldn’t do this without my indefinite help.” She smirked then, looking back at him, and crossing her arms as she got square in his face.

He leaned back, frowning obviously… “Your forward and, frankly, unattractive personality is what’s jeopardizing this mission.” He side-mouthed the sly comment before lightly pushing passed her, his back and her arm brushing slightly as she took the insult to heart.

She pouted her lips, holding back pure emotion before bursting as she turned again. “You need me! Without me, Sonic wouldn’t let you near an emerald again after what you did!”

Shadow abruptly shifted, pivoting and storming back to her, lifting a hand to cover her mouth before fighting the urge and pulling back.

“You’re insufferable…”

“Oh, am I?”

“I had my reasons!” He found himself unable to control that light outburst, and in shame at this fact, turned his face away.

“…Rouge needs to recover.” Amy’s tone turned lighter, seeing he wasn’t completely void of real emotion now.

He started to breathe a little harder, glaring at her from the side of his face, before wiping the side of his mouth and turning back to the door.

“Just keep your gent out of my affairs…” he swung the door open, “And G.U.N will release your belongings back to you.”

“Good. I need those groceries.” Amy smiled in a cheeky manner as she skillfully reached down for a handbag and twisted it in her hand, spinning it to rotate impressively over the palm of her hand before latching onto it again. 

She then struck a mighty, feminine pose. “I’ve always had a knack for distraction.” She gave a wicked look of confidence to him, as he swayed back and paused a moment.

His eyes looked to the floor first, and then back to her.

She smiled, tilting her head and waiting for a sign that showed he didn’t really hate her as much as he was letting on.

She cutely ‘Aww’d when he didn’t react, and put her hands behind her back, swaying her hips. She then interchanged which foot she leaned on for a second, tapping the floor rapidly before he finally smiled and rolled his eyes.

“Ah-ha!” she exclaimed, pointing and moving her dress a little to hurry out the door with him, “Charming personality! Admit it! I’m charming and quite hilarious!”

“You’re hilarious, alright.” He muttered, walking on to the party before she grabbed his shoulder from behind, tripping on a copplestone.

“Wait!”

He jerked back before looking at her cautiously. “What?”

“Ugh… these blasted heels…” she had one leg up and over, almost, her other knee. Reaching down, she adjusted the heel while keeping her eyes scanning the skies… then dropping to his fancy suit.

“Woah, hold up.” She chuckled slightly and put her foot down, moving over to his tie before he moved away, looking at her strangely.

She flopped her arms down, disappointed in his distrust, before tsk’ing and pretending to fidget with her fingers.

“Umm… may I?” she cutely, with a totally sarcastic actor’s drawl, asked him.

He looked down at his tie, then to her, before fiddling with it and looking frustrated at her disapproval.

“I couldn’t… I’ve never worn the darn thing!” he looked up to see her mocking chuckle again, covering it slightly with her hand, and angrily defended himself.

He turned away as she came closer, “Look, love. It’s not as hard as it seems…”

She started to untie it and readjust it’s length around his neck, puffing his collar out to do her work.

He was at first looking away in annoyance… but as her head ducked down… he turned over to listen to what she was whispering about.

“Loop… and… You know, Shadow. You really shouldn’t act so tough around girls… It might make them think… that the things you say about them being annoying could be true.” She tightened the bow up just as his breath reached her lashes and forced her eyes to bat a moment at the rush of wind.

She dipped her head further, avoiding eye-contact but also coming to terms with this being one of the only times she’d ever been this close to him before.

“… Do you think it rude?” He asked.

“Of course I do!” she patted and pushed lightly against his chest, finishing with fixin’-and-fussin’ over his suit. The light push made her realize that his chest fur was tightly compacted behind the white of his undershirt… and this made her look back, shocked at how firm of a chest he could have.

“U-unless it’s all in good sport, as good sports go… b-but the other participant should know of the game beforehand… so that…” she looked up, seeing him not distancing himself, but holding his ground before moving closer.

He couldn’t hear her very well, so closing the gap wasn’t an issue for him to do, lowering his head to try and hear her better.

“I’m sorry?”

She tensed up, sucking up a breath of his nice cologne and upon doing so, fearfully holding her breath at her mistake.

She looked away again, turning her head slightly from his own. “I… Just so they don’t get offended, is all…” she peeked up at his face, innocent to the moment it seemed.

He turned his head in puzzled thought. “Huh.” He then began to adjust his cuffs to hide the technology on his wrist. “So,… you’re here to tell me women have sensitive feelings?”

She suddenly looked at him in surprise.

“Hmph.” He faked a contemplative thought in a slight frown that dipped too far, before disappearing as he went back to his task. “Could of fooled me.” He walked on, as Amy smiled with an open-scoff once again, storming off after him.

“Ah-! Why-! I never! Not in all my spying years-!”

“Years?” he looked over his shoulder,… smiling.

“-ever met a man as intolerable as you!”

“Intolerable?” he flapped his collar of his shirt down and smirked with absolute enjoyment. “Tell me, if I’m not allowed to play mind games with you, then why must you torment me with them?”

“Shadow!”

“What ordinance of parliament have you wiggled your silly justice rules into? And for what? That women have the sole right to annoy? Honestly, Amy. Give us some allowance to flesh it back, otherwise, cease this torture at once.” he stood by the door, flapping his suit’s jacket into place, and opening the door for her in a bow. “After you.”

She smiled in her slight bitterness at his words but promptly walked in. “When men get thicker heads!” she teased.

“When women get steelier hearts.” Shadow played back, and walked in, almost wishing he didn’t have a mission to get on too.

After all… someone needed to put that girl in her place…

He smirked, before looking up to see her friendliness with Sonic, having been invited to this soiree due to his ‘heroic deeds’ being recognized.. but Shadow immediately lost his playful bantering mood and begrudgingly turned away from the happy two’s sight and swarved through the crowds…

(I had to tweak some things to add British things, but I hope you enjoyed it. :) Also, Shadow is just playing back with her, she annoyed him for a while so that was playful revenge. haha.)

[willardswritindump]

Part 6

I'm starting to think Dante had a point, I'm also freaking the hell out right now. I don't know how I let last night happen but I'm just- Okay so let me backtrack a little. So in my magnificent plan to avoid my mortal enemy Ash I have been avoiding the video store at all costs. However yesterday I finally bit the bullet and went in to rent something.

Upon entering the store I notice something extremely strange, Ash was no where to be seen. So upon a few minuets of wandering around the store looking at random movies I finally make to the best part of the store, the horror section. After a few moments of scanning the shelf I notice that my three favorites are already checked out. Then the little anarchist herself strikes, Ash had been hiding behind the old Freddy Kruger cardboard cutout just waiting to strike.

Well actually all she did was tap me on the shoulder, but in my defense she was stealthy about it. So after nearly jumping out of my skin I turn around to be greeted by a hug, and the laughing face of you know who. After her laughter faded she just, as if nothing had happened asked "Hey are you busy tonight and or tomorrow?" Still in a state of shock I stupidly shook my head no. So of course she answers with that devious little smirk of hers I have grown to dread.

"That's great, movie marathon at my place. You pick three, I already picked mine." I don't know why I agreed to this but I did. Again who knows, maybe Dante is right. Maybe I do kinda like her. So anyway after a few minuets I had picked out Con Air, Batman Returns, and Mallrats. As Ash locked up the store she instructed me that "We aren't going back just yet, we are going into the convenience store and getting as many snacks as we can carry." Now usually I never shop at the store. I spend too much time there as it is, so therefor why should I voluntarily give up some of my free time and paycheck back to it?

After grabbing a box of popcorn, some fanta and yoohoo Ash decided that would suffice and we finally went back to her apartment. I honestly didn't know what I was expecting, and I'm not sure if it was better or worse than I thought it would be. Her apartment was certainly bigger than I expected. I didn't expect the decent TV, Super Nintendo, Playstation 2 or Xbox 360. The longboxes behind the couch were a surprise and the so was the model Starship Enterprise hanging from the ceiling. Before the entire place could even sink in Ash already had the first bowl of popcorn popped and the first movie started. She motioned for me to take a seat on the couch and said "Sorry, I only have one blanket so we're gonna have to share. Don't worry its plenty big." So naturally after taking my seat I ask "What the hell are we watching?" "Oh you'll see." She teased as the movie started, the movie just happened to be my favorite giant monster movie of all time, (Insert Godzilla movie here)

Before I know it the movies already over, and we've been through two bowls of popcorn. Ash soon asked "(Insert dialog about to be determined Godzilla movie) So which next, one of your or one of mine." "I guess one of mine, Batman sound good to you?" I Inquired in return. I'd be lying if I said my face didn't go a little red when her face lit up and she exclaimed "HELL YES SCOTT! THAT WOULD BE MORE THAN FINE!" I mean, I'm just not used to a girl, especially a cute girl like... um moving on. So we watch Batman Returns, the most shall we say Tim Burton of the batman movies and I actually started to really enjoy it. Normally spending this long a time with my sworn enemy I would be on edge but I was laughing and having a good time. I swear it was the strangest thing. So eventually we finish the movie and she says "You know that Christopher Walken is actually one of the few actors that scared Tim Burton?" "Yeah that's the reason he was cast as the headless horseman in Sleepy Hallow." I responded (Change responded later.) "So my turn, hope you like aliens." Upon hearing those words a wave of fear passed through me, if she had checked out the movie that I thought she did I was screwed. Now I don't scare easy but holy shit is Fire in the Sky terrifying. Sorry but if you can watch the needle scene you have something wrong with you.

So upon realizing our sadistic little friend had in fact chose Fire in the Sky for us to watch I did the only thing I could. Threw the blanked on and waited for the horror to ensue. Now the thing about Fire in the Sky is that it is a slow burning movie, most of the first two thirds are just some guys seeing their friend getting abducted in the woods and trying to convince the cops they didn't kill him. Hell in my opinion its one of Robert Patrick's best performances, excluding the obvious. So we watch the movie and Ash does the damnedest thing when the childhood trauma scene starts. She actually grabs hold of me, I mean the nerves of steal girl who give me shit all the time for getting spooked is actually clinging to me out of fear. I didn't know what to do so I just do what I always did, I pulled the blanket over my head and just waited for the scene to be over. After a few minuets she looks up asks "Please tell me its over. How are you able to watch that, it still freaks the hell out of me." After pointing to the blanker covering us I tell her "I don't, why do you think we are under this" "Fair point... so your turn?" She asked as she pulled the blanked down.

So I get up and put in Con Air, I know the movie is insanely stupid but I mean come on its Nicolas Cage trying to be an action hero, that's hilarious no mater what. When I sat back down Ash just leaned up against me, and we watched the movie. About half way through I look over and realize I am completely and totally screwed, Ash was asleep. About thirty minuets later I was too. So upon waking up this morning what did I do? Did I calmly get up being careful not to wake the cute girl asleep beside me? No I, being the cool and thoughtful guy that I am, freak the hell out screaming as I ran out the door. Smooth Scott, real smooth. Yeah well anyway I got a D&D game with Dante in about, shit its in about now, gotta go.

[peterparkyourassonme]

long distance; tom holland

pairing: tom holland x reader word count: 1,342. more than thought, tell me if you want a part two to this. summary: you and tom meet each other on the internet.  warning: none, (y/f/n) means your friends name, the friend is not described as any gender, you can chose. I think you got it.  part two| my other work

‘yo, you have a new number right?’ 

‘this is (Y/n) by the way’ you sent your friend who just got a new number a text.

‘I don’t know a (Y/n)’ the person, who you thought was (your friends name), texted back. 

‘ha ha very funny, (y/f/n)’ you responded as you rolled your eyes at your screen. 

‘this is not (y/f/n), I’m sorry but I think you got the wrong number mate’ the now stranger texted back. 

‘oh, sorry my bad’. You felt really awkward.

‘I am Tom by the way’. You were surprised that he kept the conversation going. 

‘nice to meet you Tom’

‘nice to met you to (Y/n)’. 

Weeks had gone by and you and Tom had talked everyday over text. Tom really wanted to video chat, but you were a bit scared. What if he wasn’t this total awesome, British, twenty one year old, but some weird creep. Maybe your friends even scammed you to prank you. Every time he asked to see your face you got out of it. But not today. 

‘What are you doing rn?’ Tom asked. 

‘Not much tbh, pretty sad if you think about it, it’s Saturday night lol’ You replied. 

‘Want some company?’ He asked. 

‘What do you mean’ You sighed as you knew what he was gonna say. 

‘Call me or I can call you, whatever you want’. You rolled your eyes. 

‘Tom..’ You hit send and started typing again. But he already responded. 

‘Come on (Y/n). I wanna see how pretty you are’. If you didn’t trust him, that would be the creepiest thing ever. 

‘You know what, fuck it. Call me’. You hit send with slight regret. 

incoming face time call from ‘tom’ 

accept. 

You were greeted with the face of a very handsome smiling young man. Brown hair, brown eyes. Very cute features. Both of you were looking at each other with adoration. Stunned by one another’s beauty. 

‘Hi’ You said with a little grin. ‘Wow, I mean hi, (Y/n)’ Tom almost choked on his spit. ‘You. You’re. You’re beautiful’. ‘Not so bad yourself’ You said and laughed. 

You sat in silence for a bit. 

‘Talk to me. I want to hear your voice, love’. You could hear Tom was desperately flirting with you.

You and Tom had gotten closer and closer. The line between best friends and soulmates was almost transparent. 

You were sitting on your bed with (y/f/n). You were giggling at you phone, because you were texting Tom. (y/f/n) rolled their eyes. They could see you were texting him, because you were always blushing if you were. 

They grabbed your phone. ‘Hey! I was texting-’ You got cut off. ‘Tom? Yeah I know. This silly little boyfriend of yours is distracting you’ 

‘He’s not my boyfriend!’ You did not want them to see your conversation with him. ‘Whatever (Y/n). He’s distracting you! From college and from your friends! I’m deleting his number’. They tapped on your phone while your jaw dropped. His phone number was the only thing you had of him. ‘No!’. You were not ready to lose Tom to (Y/f/n). They could not do this to you. ‘Blocked and deleted, now you can have your phone back. Thank me later’ They were very proud of them self and found the whole situation hilarious. 

‘Are you an idiot? That was all I had of him. Why did you have to ruin this!’ You were boiling with anger. ‘(Y/n) take a chill pil. You did not even know the guy, it’s not like he cared about you or something’. 

‘Get out of my house!’. ‘W-what? (Y/n) you’re being ridiculous. You know I’m right’ They backed off slowly walking towards the front door. ‘I said get out! You obviously seem to care less about me than you think Tom does. Thank you very much, you don’t have to show me your face again’ You opened the door and shoved them out. ‘Bye!’ You slammed the door shut. 

You collapsed to the ground and started crying as you just lost the contact with Tom. You could not get it back, you knew that. And he couldn’t text you, because (Y/f/n) blocked him. 

‘What’s up darling?’ yesterday 10.07 am

‘Yo are you busy?’ yesterday 1.15 pm

‘(Y/n) are you there?’ yesterday 5.30 pm

‘I’m getting worried, what’s going on?’ yesterday 9.45 pm

‘Goodnight love, please text me back or return my phone calls’ today 2.10 am 

‘Good morning. (Y/n), did I do something? Don’t ignore me, you can tell me anything?’ today 10.50 am. 

Tom let out a growl of anger. ‘What’s up?’ Harrison asked. ‘She’s not texting me back or returning my phone calls Haz, I am worried. What if something happened to her!’

‘Tom I’m sure she’s fine’

‘You call her than!’ Tom sighed after he spoke up, he did not want to fight with Harrison. ‘Pff okay’. Harrison dialed your number. ‘Sorry mate. Call denied’ Haz looked at Tom with an apologetic look. 

‘Come on..’ 

If you couldn’t call or text him you would google him instead. 

In the middle of your search you got called up by a foreign number. You decided to deny the call, they would probably be like one of those numbers that charge you loads of money. 

‘Tom Holland’ you mumbled and typed the name in the google search bar. What appeared in front of you was shocking.

“Tom Holland (Actor) - Wikipedia”

“Tom Holland (@ tomholland1996) |Twitter”

“Tom Holland Instagram photos videos and more”

Your eyes widened as you scrolled down the screen. This couldn’t be him. You clicked on his google biography. 

“Thomas Stanley Holland a British actor. Most know for his roles as Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War and Spider-Man: Homecoming and Lucas in The Impossible”

He was an actor for Marvel?! All these questions were bouncing though your head. Maybe you could reach him through social media. You followed him on every platform and sent him; ‘Tom it’s me, (Y/n). My so called friend deleted and blocked your number, because they thought you were a silly distraction. Which you’re not! Please if you see this, send me your number so I can unblock you’ 

No response, not even after a week. Why did you even think that would work. He’s a superstar like he would answer your stupid DM. 

The fact you now knew he was famous made you very unconfident. Why did he even talk to you, he could do better. 

The weird number kept calling over the weeks and you got sick of it. They called about three times a day. You decided to pick up this time. ‘Who is this and why do you keep calling me?’ You angrily said into the phone. ‘(Y/n)! It’s me Tom!’. 

Your mouth fell open. ‘Why haven’t you been answering the phone or my texts! I was worried sick? Is it something I did, are you mad at me? (Y/n) please say something!’ Tom was trying to talk as fast as he could he wanted damn answers. 

You sighed. ‘Tom, I’m sorry’ You started to tear up after finally hearing his voice again. ‘I’m so so sorry’ And you started sobbing. ‘Hey, (Y/n) what’s wrong. Darling please tell me what’s going on’ His warm voice calmed you down. You took a deep breath. ‘Okay, My friend got sick of me talking to you and thought I did not mean anything to you. They said you were a distraction from college and from my friends. And you’re not! I broke down after they did delete it and tried to find a way to contact you… Than I found out who you are, Tom.’ You said slowly. ‘(Y/n), I’m sorry I didn’t tell you! You did not know who I was so I thought it would be for the better’ 

‘It still pisses me off. I don’t think I can handle all of this right now, Tom. I-I’m sorry’ You cried. ‘No, no, no. (Y/n) please don’t hang up I-’. You hung up and cut him off. 

‘love you’ 

A/n: wassup friends! Hope you enjoyed this! I am planning on making a part two, let me know if you want a part two!

lol my PE teacher hit me in the face with a baseball today, now my nose is all swollen and purple. Love it when that happens ha ha. 

I am working on a prompt list atm, and I’m very excited about it! Expect that coming soon. 

For the rest of the night I’ll be answering ship requests, so if you want to request one for your own feel free to! 

For the people who have requested one shots etc.. I’m working on them don’t worry loves. 

We’re also really close to 400 followers *faints*. Omg update WE HIT 400 FOLLOWERS, babes you're incredible.

I hope you have a great day and I’ll see you in the next one!

[dontlookatmeitwashim]

A Little Crush On You: One Shot

Its a little singer au with like to other aus mixed in! Tell me what you think!

P.S kind of need some love guys, it was my birthday yesterday and well... it was bad.

He sat and watched her, sitting in the corner of the café with his hood up and sipping his coffee. He watched as she was guided to the small stage, holding her guitar and her hair swaying as she moved. Her friend helped her get situated, moving the microphone closer before walking away. 

The girl played a few notes on her guitar before she sighed, looking up at the audience. Her eyes a beautiful blue, making anyone who saw them sigh. She smiled. “Hello, I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng and I’m going to sing you a song.”

She didn’t say anything more than that. Her fingers started to play the notes, her voice matching the beat. She sang with a clear and hypnotizing voice, everyone was watching her as she sang. Her voice carried throughout the small café with ease, her voice not missing a single note. Marinette never once looked down at her fingers, she knew how to play the song by heart. Many people, even him got out their phones and recorded the singer.

He himself was captivated by her voice, he wanted to know about her. She looked so beautiful in her red sundress and black flats; she was more beautiful than all the models he’s met and he’s met a lot. It was kind of in the job description that you get introduced to a lot of models, actors, ect. when your hit single as been number one on the billboards for the past year. 

Yes, the famous singer Adrien Agreste hung out at a rundown café wearing a hoodie and sunglasses everyday... but he liked this place. He found it a few years back when he was running away from some fans. The owner, Nathaniel had let him hid out behind the counter while they tired to find him. Ever since then? Adrien found himself at The Fancy Lady Café everyday without fail. 

It would make him forget how pathetic he felt in his own life and how he wished he was someone else most days. He hated that he was only famous because of his father’s big brand studio and not because people genuinely like his music. Then there was the fact that the blonde wasn’t allowed to sing his own music; all of it were songs that his father’s board of songwriters had wrote for him. Sometimes he felt like he should just leave the music industry, but he couldn't... even at twenty-three, Adrien was scared of his father.

That’s why he likes coming to the Fancy Lady, he liked the aura of the place and he liked watching the live performances. Most of the singers would sing song they wrote themselves, it was inspiring. Some of the same people would perform ever week, but this girl; Marinette? He has never seen before...

When she finished her song, her friend walked back to the stage and helped her again. It was then that Adrien realized that she was blind. Her eyes just stared straight-ahead, not looking at anything or anyone. He was impressed even more... she played guitar with masterful skill, it must have taken years for her to completely trust herself like she did. 

Adrien was a lost cause, he already had a major crush on her; practically in love. But he knew that he could never be with someone like Marinette; he just didn’t deserve someone like her. Besides, who would want to be with him? He was just some spoiled rich kid that could sing good enough.

“You did great, Mari!” Her friend was grinning, beaming pride.

Marinette smiled, clutching her friend’s hand as they walked past the famous blonde. “Thanks, Alya. If it wasn’t for you always bugging me about it? I probably wouldn’t have done it.”

“What are best friends for?”

Watching go, the blonde wanted to go after them. He wanted to tell Marinette how amazing she was and how much she inspired him with only a three minute song, but that voice in his head, the voice that was of his father told him that she was just going to use him. That he wasn’t worthy of someone so talented... but he still wanted to tell her how he felt...

Making a quick decision, the blonde followed after Marinette. He had to run to catch up to them; still wearing his hoodie and sunglasses. “Hey! I, uh, heard you sing and I wanted to say that you were pretty amazing!”

“Thanks,” The blind girl smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “At least someone else besides Alya thinks so.”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Adrien did something he normally wouldn’t have done. He took off his sunglasses and throw off his hood, speaking to Marinette as himself and not some random stranger in a café. He watched Alya go awestruck, but he pleaded with her not to say a word; shaking his head vigorously. 

The blonde took a moment to gather his courage and looked at Marinette directly. “Everyone in that café was captivated by you, truly have a gift and I admire you... I wish I was as brave or as strong as you, I wish that I was someone that deserved a person like you, but I’m not... Thank you.”

Before Marinette or Alya could say anything, the blonde put his sunglasses back on and ran away; knowing that he would do something stupid if he heard he speak again. So he ran... He ran all the way to his car and drove home. 

He sat in his car, in the drive way for a long time. He wanted to do something for Marinette, something that would change her life forever... Then he grinned. 

He got out his phone and dialed a number. “Hey Nino,  I have a singer for you that’s going to make you rich.”

Three Months Later

Adrien had been invited to do an interview with a famous talk show; Ellen. The blonde was excited because he honestly loved Ellen. He thought she was hilarious and nice. 

So, there he was sitting on the familiar white chair across from Ellen; grinning as she moved onto a different subject. She tapped her cards on the table beside her, smiling slightly as she did. “So, Adrien your a pretty famous singer.”

“I would think so, I mean, I’m famous enough to be on Ellen!” Adrien beamed, causing the audience to laugh. 

“Yes,” Ellen cleared her throat, still smiling. “Well, your still a guy and well, some little birdy told me that you had a small crush on a girl.”

Adrien’s smiled dropped, fear filling his eyes as he thought about the one person he had a crush on; the one person he made a point to stay clear from. Rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants, the singer laughed nervously. “It really depends on the birdy.”

Laughing at his reaction, the talk show host crossed her legs and cleared her throat. “No, we heard that you had a crush on the new hit wonder; Marinette Cheng.”

“I, uh, I mean; she very beautiful and an amazing singer! W-who wouldn’t have a crush on her?” The blonde stuttered, his cheeks completely red as Ellen embarrassed him in front of the whole world. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them; not sure what to do with his body anymore.

“Yes, well our birdy says that you have a huge crush on her; to the point that you actually have her as your background on your phone.” Ellen was loving torturing him, he was cute to tease and hilarious to watch. “So, why don’t you show us your phone to prove them wrong?”

Adrien buried his head in his hands, completely embarrasses now. Sighing to himself, he met Ellen’s eyes and dug out his phone form his pocket. “Your gonna have to give me the name of your spy, so I can give them a good punch.”

Unlocking his phone, the blonde held it up for everyone to see. The camera zoomed in his phone, the audience laughing when they saw the picture of Marinette on his background. 

“What’s sad, is that I have all of her CDs and I own at least two posters of her; plus I’m always asking what parties she’s going to be at!” The blonde laughed at himself, finally accepting that this happened and his father is going to be furious. Adrien put away his phone, running a hand through his hair. “You know, I saw her at the Tony awards; she was doing an interview and somewhere there is a picture of me just gawking at her in the background?”

“Did you talk to her?” Ellen laughed. 

Adrien shook his head, laughing as he thought about the memory. “I hid behind Anna Kendrick and ran!”

The whole audience, Ellen and Adrien laughed. But the talk show host recovered quickly, fixing her shirt. ‘So, uh, what if I told you that Marinette was here tonight?”

“Ellen, don’t play with my emotions; I won’t come back if your lying to me.” The blonde immediately stood, looking around the set; completely nervous. He heard Ellen laugh, then over the speakers was Marinette singing. Adrien whipped around to the curtain, watching it as it revealed the famed singer. 

Marinette was smiling as she sang, obviously hearing the whole conversation. She sang only the verse of her song before she was helped off the stage; walking toward the shocked blonde. “So, you have a crush on me?”

Before he could answer, Adrien wrapped his arms around the blind girl and hugged her tightly. Whispering in her ear, Adrien smiled. “I had a crush on you since I first heard you since in that Café... thank you.”

So, tell me what you think! Please, with a cherry on top? Please?

[mj-spooks]

OKAY IT’S HALLOWEEN SO TIME FOR A HAUNT STORY

So I worked in a haunt for like... four years? Five years?

My first year out there, I show up for actor training and they’re running through all the rules and suggestions and all that. And one point that they emphasized was that you never. Ever. EVER. Say ‘boo’.

Because it’s lazy, it means you’re not really trying to do your job, it shows that you’re not taking it seriously.

Fast forward to the second weekend. I’m only on my third shift. I still have no idea what I’m doing. All I know is that I have a single, perfect corner, where the light from the hallway before and after cross the walls just perfectly so I can hide myself in this corner and be literally two inches from another human being without them having any clue I’m there.

And I’m new, and I’m nervous, so I’m pretty much getting 90% of my scares by hiding in that corner and using a classic, easy, ‘jump out of the dark and scream bloody murder’ technique, which isn’t particularly refined but gets the job done well enough.

Now, normally this worked fine. But about 1:00 am, 30 minutes til close, on Friday night, it’s dead as hell, no one’s been through for at least ten minutes, and I hear someone coming down the hall. As they pass the Iron Maiden that serves as my cue to get in position, I see the most horrible thing shining through the cracks in the wall.

A light.

These fuckers. Have a flashlight. Which happens, mind, but not very often. This is only the second I’ve encountered, and the previous group that had one, it was held by a five year old who was using it to ‘scare the monsters away’.

There are no children in this group. This group is four people, all looking to be about my age (which at the time meant 17-18), two boys and two girls.

I have minimal time to prepare. I don’t have a clue what to do without the safety of my easy scare.

I crouched myself down in the corner, mussed up my hair and let it fall in my face, then leaned against the wall, sleeves covering my hands. I couldn’t shock them by coming out of no where, so I thought I’d shock them by moving when they assumed I was fake. I figured it had a 50/50 chance of working.

So they come around the corner, flashlight trained on me immediately. I hold still.

Guy 1: Is... is that real?

Guy 2: Huh? No way.

Girl 1: ... I think it’s real!

Girl 2: Who cares, let’s go!

Guy 1: I think it’s real, it’s totally real.

Guy 2: No. Way.

Girl 2: LET’S. GO. (guess we know who the skittish one was)

They continued like this for what was, frankly, an obscene amount of time. I should’ve done something to push them through, but I wasn’t sure what to do. I was basically paralyzed by my inexperience. And no one else was coming, so I just... let them argue. For what felt like forever but was really five minutes, tops.

Finally, they go to leave, Guy 2 having convinced Guy and Girl 1 that I’m clearly a prop.

As they round the corner, I get up, quiet as I can, and sneak up just behind Guy 2, The Skeptic(tm), and...

I did it. I screwed up.

It’s obvious what i did, right?

...

Yeah, so I said ‘boo’.

Guy 2 jumps out of his skin, screams bloody murder, and tears off around the next corner. I hear a crash, go to check. He’s tripped, fallen on the floor...

And peed himself.

I’m so concerned about the guest, I don’t notice it when my boss comes up behind me. He taps my shoulder, gives me a glare, and I figure, I’m fired, right? I broke the rule. I said ‘boo’. He looks pissed.

“I can’t even fire you for that. It worked. You made ‘boo’ work. Don’t do it again!”

Then snickers, and tells me that was hilarious before going to make sure the guy didn’t break something.

After that, I was his Favorite. It’s been almost a decade since then and I was recently informed by his wife that he still tells that story when he meets other haunt actors and the subject of ‘boo’ comes up.

[crunchie-morris]

Flyin'

Okay, I haven't published anything in f o r e v e r. I've got a prompt in my inbox I'm gonna try and write tonight, but if I don't end up finishing that, I wanted to get something out! So here's an old Jackcrutchie oneshot I wrote way back before I had Tumblr. Enjoy! ••• "Mmph," Crutchie frowned and poked his tooth with his tongue. "Mmph, mmph, mmmph...ow!" "Stop messin' with your tooth," Jack scolded, elbowing his friend. "Didn't you just tell me it hurt like hell?" "Yeah," Crutchie said, still poking his tooth. "But, it's gonna hurt more tomorrow." "Ah, you'll be fine," Jack chuckled. "I mean, you're Crutchie Morris. If you can take on that leg of yours, you can take on a root canal." Crutchie grinned at Jack half-heartedly. Then, he stood up,pausing for a moment to feel the cool New York air on his face. "Thanks. I should be gettin' to bed, though. Night, Jack. See you in the mornin'?" Jack looked up from his drawing for a moment to glance at Crutchie, whose face was etched with worry, as it had been all evening. "Of course. I'm the one takin' ya there, after ya tomorrow, Crutch." Crutchie smirked as left the roof and saluted Jack. "See ya." Jack saluted Crutchie back with one more encouraging smile before turning back to his sketchbook. Crutchie had spent the whole evening refusing to admit how nervous he was for his dentist's appointment the next day. "Technically, it's an endodontist," Crutchie had corrected when Jack had called it a dentist's appointment. "And, anyway, I suppose I'm lucky. If it weren't for Kloppman, I probably woulda done nothin' about my tooth, and that'd be no good. But, he actually paid for this, and that ain't cheap, so I better be grateful." "You got every right to be scared, though," Jack assured him. "Not that you won't be fine, though." A smirk appeared on his face as he added, "You know, the worst that's probably gonna happen to ya is you'll be all loopy from the medicine they give ya. That'll be entertaining." Crutchie grinned and rolled his eyes. "Whatever you do, don't put me on YouTube." "Aw, come on!" Jack feigned disappointment. "You could be the next viral sensation!" Crutchie chuckled and shook his head. "No thanks." Jack had patted him on the back and said, "Trust me, Crutch, you'll be a-okay." ••• "Morris, Andrew?" Crutchie's nervous foot-tapping stopped immediately as he looked up, fear crossing his freckled features. "You'll be fine," Jack gave Crutchie an encouraging smile. "For sure?" Crutchie asked, biting his lip. "For sure," Jack echoed. With that, the two made their way to the front desk. The clerk looked at Jack curiously. "Are you his guardian?" She asked. "You look quite young, sir." "Eh, kind of?" Jack offered. "His bills and stuff are probably marked under Kloppman, that's our group home director, but he's got a ton of other boys to look after, so I'm here in his place. I'm almost eighteen, though, Miss, plus I already got the papers signed by him." The clerk nodded understandingly. "Well, if you've got the papers, that should work just fine, then." "Wait, what kinda papers did he have to sign?" Crutchie asked, trying to hide his anxious tone. "Just some legal things, Mr. Morris," The clerk answered. Crutchie nodded, and quickly said, "Yeah, right, legal stuff, I knew that. Just boring, legal stuff, of course, it don't have anything to do with this procedure bein' dangerous." The clerk laughed good-naturedly. "You're in good hands, Andrew. Don't worry." "I ain't worried!" Crutchie shoved a grin on his face. "No, ma'am, not me! I'se just, uh, reassurin' Jack here." Jack rolled his eyes. "Remind me never to let you become an actor." ••• Jack sat in the waiting room, twiddling his thumbs as he awaited Crutchie's arrival. He had to admit, Crutchie's nerves may or may not have rubbed off on him, so he was now quite antsy as watched the clock. "Mr. Kelly?" Jack looked up, relieved to see them walking Crutchie in. "Crutchie!" He grinned, jogging over to his friend. Crutchie blinked several times as he looked at Jack, before his face turned up in a smirk. "Hey there, Jack!" "He did a great job," The nurse announced. "Now, he's probably going to be a little out of it for the next few hours, but once the medicine wears off, give him Ibuprofen and allow him to ice his face." "Will do,Miss," Jack said, taking Crutchie's arm and heading out. "Thank you!" Crutchie wobbled on his feet, looking down and stepping very carefully. His features turned up in another grin as he said, his words muffled by the cotton in his mouth, "Everythin's all...spinny, Jack." "Yeah, I'm sure it is," Jack replied, giving his friend an amused look. Crutchie tripped over his crutch suddenly, and Jack caught him just before he hit the ground. After the initial shock wore off, Crutchie broke out into giddy laughter. Jack couldn't help but laugh, too. "You need some help there, bud?" He offered. "I can carry ya if you wa-" "No!" Crutchie cut him off firmly. As Jack eased him upright again, he looked over at the older boy, blinking rapidly. "No way. Ain't no one carryin' me...never!" Jack rolled his eyes. "Even all drugged-up, you'se gotta be Mr. Independent, huh?" Crutchie nodded. "I got this." He announced, scrunching his face up with determination. Jack laughed again and the two made their way outside. It took a while, but they eventually got to the car and began on their way back to their home. Crutchie was silent for most of the ride, staring intently at the dashboard. Jack gave him a sideways glance. "You okay, pal?" "If-if we woke up with, with, like, superpowers," He began slowly in a serious tone. "Do ya think that-that we'd, we would all be able to fly? Or like, only some people could, like celebrities?" He paused before adding, "I bet Idina Menzel would be able to fly. She's cool like that." Jack felt a grin spread across his face. "I dunno, Crutchie. What do you think?" Crutchie looked deep in thought. He thought hard before responding, "I think that like...you could only fly if you believe you can fly." "Like in Peter Pan?" Jack asked, bemused. Crutchie's face lit up. "Yeah! Jus' like that!" He silent for a moment more before continuing,"Maybe...that's how things are right now, but no one, nobody...no one thinks they can, so-so nobody can! Ya know? I bet we can fly, but none-no, nobody believes that we can." Jack tried, but ultimately failed, to hide a snigger. Crutchie frowned. "See, see that's what I mean! You don't believe it, you think I'se jokin', but-but...but...what was I sayin', Jack?" As they pulled up next to the group home, Jack snuck a glance at Crutchie. "Flyin'?" He prompted. Crutchie broke out in a huge smile. "Oh, that sounds neat!" He exclaimed. "Yeah, flyin', that would, that'd be cool. That's what I was talkin' about." Jack shook his head at his delirious friend. "Sure was." ••• Once they got inside, Jack helped Crutchie to his bunk. Just before he was going to leave the younger one to rest, Jack heard a laugh from behind him. He turned around to face a massively-grinning Crutchie. "What's so funny?" Crutchie giggled. "You...ya look so funny." Jack smirked involuntarily. "What do ya mean?" "All...all blurry," Crutchie explained, gesturing to Jack. "And the room is still all-all spinny and it's so funny." "Well, I've been told I look quite good when I'm blurry, for the record," Jack teased, sitting on the edge of Crutchie's bed. Crutchie let his laughter die out before softly asking, "Can ya tell me about-bout that place?" "What place?" Jack asked. "The one with all the buildings," Crutchie slurred,, blinking over and over. "The ones with the clay, ya know? And the paintings you make and the green...ya know, the place?" "Santa Fe?" Jack grinned. "That's it!" Crutchie smiled. "Yeah, Santa Fe! I like it when you'se talkin'...talkin' all about that place 'cause when I'm all sad or mad- hey, that rhymed! But-but...when I'se upset, you talk about Santa Fe and then I feel happy. More than happy. Because...it's 'cause I know that you'se gonna keep me safe, 'cause you...ya tell me about Santa Fe, and you don't tell the other boys that much about Santa Fe! And, when we'se talkin' 'bout, about Santa Fe, you tell me the other things that you would never say to anybody else, and I say the things I'd never tell anyone-anyone else, and you never tell the other fellas what I says. So-so, that way, I know you really trust me, so I...I can really trust you. I'se never been able to really trust anyone before, 'cause they all leave. You know that. But, you'se...you'se real different. And, that's just great. So great." Jack felt a smile- a true, genuine smile- on his face for the first time in a long time. He looked at Crutchie, who smiled back hopefully. Laying back on the pillow next to Crutchie, he began, "Alright, I'm gonna need ya to close your eyes." Crutchie obliged eagerly. "Good," Jack responded, closing his eyes, too. "Now, come with me to a place where it's clean and green and pretty, and they went and made a city outta clay." He continued painting the city for Crutchie with his words until he felt a weight on his shoulder. Jack looked down to see that Crutchie was out cold, using Jack as his pillow. Jack smirked and muttered, "Maybe if ya dream hard enough, you can fly to Santa Fe." ••• Crutchie woke up to a heavy aching in his mouth. He groaned and rolled over, ready to attempt to sleep again, when his eyes landed upon a bowl of ice cream and a note on his nightstand. Smiling softly, he picked up the note and read, "Crutchie, I didn't put you on YouTube. You totally would have gone viral, though; you were hilarious. Sorry I couldn't stay with you, I had to go get the schoolwork we missed. (The next time Mr. Pulitzer says I'm irresponsible, show him this!) But, the nurse said to ice your mouth, so I brought you some ice cream, 'cause, hey, it's got the word " ice" in it. -Jack" Below that, Jack had doodled a small, smiling boy with a crutch and word bubble that said, "Flyin' sounds neat!" Crutchie shook his head and grinned. He was just about to roll over and go back to sleep when he noticed a little more text at the bottom. "P.S. I bet you don't remember any of the stuff you said about Santa Fe, but, if you do, thanks." Before going back to sleep, Crutchie quickly jotted down on the back of the note, "I don't remember anything I said, but if it was about Santa Fe, I meant every word."

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1. 5xx Server Error 2. https://www.bing.com/amp/s/people.com/parents/chris-hemsworth-dont-want-my-kids-to-feel-like-theyre-privileged/amp/ 3. PARENTSChris Hemsworth Says He Doesn't Want His 'Kids to Feel Like They're Privileged' Due to His Wealth 4. SUBSCRIBE PARENTSChris Hemsworth Says He Doesn't Want His 'Kids to Feel Like They're Privileged' Due to His Wealth     DAVID FISHER/SHUTTERSTOCK KAREN MIZOGUCHI Posted on October 02, 2018 8:57PM As much as fans picture him as the superhero and Asgardian god of thunder Thor, Chris Hemsworth wants his kids to see him as super dad. After blockbusters such as theAvengers franchise and Snow White and the Huntsman series, the actor, 35, reveals having children has affected his career and how he views money. “I feel gross about it,” the Bad Times at the El Royale star tells GQ Australiaabout his wealth, who earnt$31.5 million last year which landed him at No. 11 on the 2017 Forbes list of highest paid actors. His fame and success in Hollywood is a far cry from his upbringing in Melbourne and in the Australian Outback with brothers Liam and Luke. “I remember saving up for a surfboard when I was younger. The surfboard was 600 bucks and I saved up for a whole year with Dad’s help. I didn’t even want to surf on it for fear of damaging it. It taught me so many lessons about appreciation and working hard for something,” Hemsworth recalls. Chris HemsworthELSA PATAKY/INSTAGRAM Want all the latest pregnancy and birth announcements, plus celebrity mom blogs? Click here to get those and more in the PEOPLE Babies newsletter. His own childhood experiences of reaping the rewards of hard work are what motivates his and wife Elsa Pataky‘s parenting of 4-year-old twin sons Tristan and Sasha as well as 6-year-old daughter India. “When I think about my kids, I don’t want them to miss that joy. Elsa and I talk a lot about how we instill that same appreciation and respect for things,” Hemsworth says. “I don’t want them to feel like they’re privileged in any way. The fact that we have money and their parents are famous, that somehow they’re special, that scares me because we grew up with no money.” RELATED: Elsa Pataky on Dealing with Husband Chris Hemsworth’s Early Fame: ‘It Was Sometimes Difficult’ While he’s booked a headlining role in the forthcoming Men in Black spinoff and is contemplating whether to star in more Thor movies, Hemsworth admits that he’s reached the point in his life where family comes above all else. “There are times when I’ve thought, ‘Wow, because having kids is more important to me, some of my roles have suffered.’ There’s definitely a couple of films I could’ve put way more energy into but I was like, ‘No, I’d rather be with my kids,’ ” he says. Also in the GQ interview, Hemsworth gushes about his twin boys’ differing personalities. “I don’t get how I can teach them the same thing but they be so different?” the father of three says. “Tristan is so athletic but there’s not an aggressive bone in his body. He’s the most emotional one. Whereas Sasha is like a little gangster.” RELATED: Chris Hemsworth’s Kids and Wife Speak Spanish — but He Doesn’t — Leading to Hilarious Fights But Hemsworth says his twins have already learned the importance of having each others’ backs. “The other day, we were in the park and something happened with Tristan and another kid. He comes over in tears. I’m like, ‘What’s wrong?’ but he didn’t want to tell me,” he shares. “Sasha’s like, ‘Tristan, what happened?’ They’re four, by the way. ‘Another kid pushed me.’ Sasha goes over to this older kid, taps him on the shoulder and says, ‘Why’d you push my brother?’ I’m stood there thinking, I should step in, but this is awesome.” Bad Times at the El Royale will hit theaters Oct. 12. Stay in the Know Subscribe to PEOPLE’s newsletters so you never miss out on a must-read story SIGN UP NOW MORE FROM PEOPLE.COMCaterina Scorsone Shares Adorable Photos of Her Daughter Paloma in Honor of Down Syndrome Awareness Month: 'Differences Are Beautiful'Surprise! Smashing Pumpkins Frontman Billy Corgan is a Dad Again, Welcomes Daughter Philomena ClementineAnna Faris 'Feels Really Guilty' as She Didn't Get Upset On Her Son's First Day at KindergartenJenny Mollen Reveals Son Found and Picked Up an 'Empty Coke Bag' While at the Park on His 1st BirthdayKylie Jenner Says Daughter Stormi — Who's Walking! — Is Her 'Happy Place' as They Cuddle Together While Watching Sunset Tags# CHRIS HEMSWORTH# MOVIE CELEBRITIES# MOVIE NEWS # NEWS# PARENTS SUBSCRIBE  GIVE A GIFT       All products featured were editorially selected. PEOPLE.com may receive a percentage of sales for items purchased from these links. © 2018 Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy(Your California Privacy Rights). | EU Data Subject Requests 5. https://www.bing.com/amp/s/www.foxnews.com/entertainment/chris-hemsworth-says-he-feels-gross-about-his-wealth.amp 6. Chris Hemsworth has earned his millions... but that doesn't mean he wants to live a life of luxury. The 35-year-old actor gets candid about fame and the financial success that comes with it in a new interview with GQ Australia, revealing that he's uncomfortable about his wealth. “I feel gross about it,” Hemsworth says. “I remember saving up for a surfboard when I was younger. The surfboard was 600 bucks and I saved up for a whole year with Dad’s help. I didn’t even want to surf on it for fear of damaging it. It taught me so many lessons about appreciation and working hard for something. “When I think about my kids, I don’t want them to miss that joy," he continues. "Elsa [Pataky] and I talk a lot about how we instill that same appreciation and respect for things. I don’t want them to feel like they’re privileged in any way. The fact that we have money and their parents are famous, that somehow they’re special, that scares me because we grew up with no money.” Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson Buddy Up in First Look at New 'Men in Black' Continue Reading Below 7. Hemsworth and Pataky are parents to three kids: 6-year-old daughter India, and 4-year-old twin sons Tristan and Sasha. Though they now value their time away from the spotlight, choosing to live in Byron Bay, Australia, instead of the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, it was just 11 years ago when Hemsworth touched town at LAX with a dream of making it big. “Once you get the jobs, you wonder did you actually just want to be famous? Was it purely about money? An artistic expression? I’ve arrived at a place of truth and while the attraction was a few things, one was definitely financially,” he admits. "I did not want to be broke, like we’d been broke when we grew up. I wanted to take care of my parents and my family." Chris Hemsworth Talks Keeping His Kids' Lives Private Despite Fame Family comes first for Hemsworth, who confesses that the roles that support his lifestyle come second to what's back at home. “I do wonder sometimes, if [Pataky and I] hadn’t met, what my career would look like. Have I made decisions based on that? How has that influenced me? There’s times when I’ve thought, ‘Wow, because having kids is more important to me, some of my roles have suffered,'" he says. "There’s definitely a  8. Fox News ☰ ENTERTAINMENT Published October 02, 2018 Chris Hemsworth says he feels 'gross' about his wealth By Jennifer Drysdale‍ | ET Online Chris Hemsworth opened up about his wealth in a new interview with GQ Australia.  (Reuters) Continue Reading Below Chris Hemsworth has earned his millions... but that doesn't mean he wants to live a life of luxury. The 35-year-old actor gets candid about fame and the financial success that comes with it in a new interview with GQ Australia, revealing that he's uncomfortable about his wealth. “I feel gross about it,” Hemsworth says. “I remember saving up for a surfboard when I was younger. The surfboard was 600 bucks and I saved up for a whole year with Dad’s help. I didn’t even want to surf on it for fear of damaging it. It taught me so many lessons about appreciation and working hard for something. “When I think about my kids, I don’t want them to miss that joy," he continues. "Elsa [Pataky] and I talk a lot about how we instill that same appreciation and respect for things. I don’t want them to feel like they’re privileged in any way. The fact that we have money and their parents are famous, that somehow they’re special, that scares me because we grew up with no money.” Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson Buddy Up in First Look at New 'Men in Black' Continue Reading Below Hemsworth and Pataky are parents to three kids: 6-year-old daughter India, and 4-year-old twin sons Tristan and Sasha. Though they now value their time away from the spotlight, choosing to live in Byron Bay, Australia, instead of the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, it was just 11 years ago when Hemsworth touched town at LAX with a dream of making it big. “Once you get the jobs, you wonder did you actually just want to be famous? Was it purely about money? An artistic expression? I’ve arrived at a place of truth and while the attraction was a few things, one was definitely financially,” he admits. "I did not want to be broke, like we’d been broke when we grew up. I wanted to take care of my parents and my family." Chris Hemsworth Talks Keeping His Kids' Lives Private Despite Fame Family comes first for Hemsworth, who confesses that the roles that support his lifestyle come second to what's back at home. “I do wonder sometimes, if [Pataky and I] hadn’t met, what my career would look like. Have I made decisions based on that? How has that influenced me? There’s times when I’ve thought, ‘Wow, because having kids is more important to me, some of my roles have suffered,'" he says. "There’s definitely a couple of films I could’ve put way more energy into but I was like, ‘No, I’d rather be with my kids.'" Chris Hemsworth Jokes He'll Replace Ryan Reynolds in 'Deadpool' After Birthday Candle Accident "I don’t regret that, but I’m aware. You can’t completely dismiss what that pursuit does for you either. I often find myself saying it’s all for my family but in all this I definitely have personal things I need to achieve, too. The difference is you have to open yourself up and go, ‘Well, you had kids so you forfeited a bit of that,'" Hemsworth continues. "It can’t be a truly individual, selfish endeavor but we still need to take care of our own. Now my identity is another team, another community -- the community being the family. You have to adapt and be malleable.” U.S.CrimeMilitaryEducationTerrorImmigrationEconomyPersonal FreedomsWorldU.N.ConflictsTerrorismDisastersGlobal EconomyEnvironmentReligionScandalsOpinionPoliticsExecutiveSenateHouseJudiciaryForeign policyPollsElectionsEntertainmentCelebrity NewsMoviesTV NewsMusic NewsStyle NewsEntertainment VideoBusinessMarketsPoliticsTechnologyFeaturesBusiness LeadersLifestyleFood + DrinkCars + TrucksTravel + OutdoorsHouse + HomeFitness + Well-beingStyle + BeautyFamilyScienceArchaeologyAir & SpacePlanet EarthWild NatureNatural ScienceDinosaursTechSecurityInnovationDronesComputersVideo GamesMilitary TechHealthHealthy LivingMedical ResearchMental HealthCancerHeart HealthChildren's HealthTVShowsPersonalitiesWatch LiveFull EpisodesShow ClipsNews ClipsAboutCareersCollege StudentsFox Around the WorldAdvertise With UsAd ChoicesMedia RelationsOtherFox News InsiderFox News RadioFox NationFox News GoNewslettersAlertsPodcastsApps & Products FacebookTwitterFlipboardGoogle+InstagramRSSEmail Fox News Terms of UsePrivacy PolicyClosed Captioning PolicyHelp This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. ©2018 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved. All market data delayed 20 minutes. 9. https://www.bing.com/amp/s/m.eonline.com/amp/news/973465/chris-hemsworth-thinks-his-career-suffered-because-he-became-a-father 10. People's Choice Awards: VOTE NOW Chris Hemsworth Thinks His Career ''Suffered'' Because He Became a Father By: CYDNEY CONTRERAS  Tue., Oct. 2, 2018 7:20 PM Photographer - DAVID BAILEY for GQ Australia Even as a celebrity, Chris Hemsworthis no stranger to the "what if's" in life. One of the questions that he ponders is whether or not his career took a toll after he became a father. The Aussie tellsAustralia, "I do wonder sometimes, if we [wife Elsa] hadn't met, what my career would look like. Have I made decisions based on that? How has that influenced me?" He continues, "There's times when i've thought, 'Wow, because having kids is more important to me, some of my roles have suffered.'" Not that the star regrets having a family, but he is "aware" of the sacrifices he has made for his three kids, Sasha, India Rose and Tristan. "There's definitely a couple of films I could've put way more energy into but I was like, 'No, I'd rather be with my kids.'" With this in mind, Chris has come to terms with his desire to work and be a good dad. Photos Chris Hemsworth & Elsa Pataky's Cutest Family Moments Photographer - DAVID BAILEY for GQ Australia He says, "It can't be a truly individual, selfish endeavor but we still need to take care of our own." Taking care of his family also means raising his kids to be grateful for the life they have, which can be a challenge when you are an A-list actor. "I feel gross about it," Chris says about his financial success. "I don't want them to feel like they're privileged in any way." He explains, "The fact that we have money and their parents are famous, that somehow they're special, that scares me because we grew up with no money." Hemsworth's devotion to being a loving and present father is evident in the rare, but adorable moments he shares of him and his kids playing on social media. And while he vows to not to give in to the "exploitation" of celebrity kids, he likes sharing a genuine look at his daily life.  To read the full interview, check out the November issue, which hits newsstands on October 8th. About UsContact UsClosed Captioning New Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Independent Programming Report  © 2018 E! Entertainment Television, LLC. A Division of NBCUniversal. All rights reserved. 11. https://www.instagram.com/p/BocYK3WjXAo/ 12. 980,965 likes chrishemsworthGreat to shoot with iconic photographer @bailey_studio for @gqaustralia! Always fun chatting with @christensenmike. Bad times at the El Royale out soon, don’t miss it!@elroyalemovie Load more comments feelingsinwinterAmazing ! I’m glad you had some good time in there. Have a good day ! victooriacraig@faithtrustandfairydust I’m deceased jaywhite1@emiliepymm why don’t you like my latest ig post babecas.sacramento@sofii.alves 😍eheh bridie.francis@starfleetbucky yep the god of thunder actually murlidhar67all pic is Terrific 😘👍 little_flower_natalieGuapo!! 😍 percy_mariepogi😍 thor defenderofmrvelSAKALLARIN NERDEEEE biewtt_guurlWoahhh! Cutie pie number 2!!!! yuktaa.812😍😍😍 abida.kuGOD lemonfervstart@numnumsulaiman the 4th one 😭😘🤩😍 kalindasharm@dorianadf11 tutto ok??? fee_nkind🔥 aaayaaa_98So hooooot!!!🔥💕 perezfuertescarmenMama mía😄😄😄 tanvir949👏👏 dagmarrulandSchöne Bilder 😊 kauppinenmilmagod ??? daddy ??? aimgel77@tashfromthetap ⚰ hassanhassan3834I love you so much parnikamedhekar@rupsha1093 I miss his looking hair andressaleto😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 12 HOURS AGO Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUPPORTPRESSAPIJOBSPRIVACYTERMSDIRECTORYPROFILES 13. photographer @bailey_studio for @gqaustralia! Always fun chatting with @christensenmike. Bad times at the El Royale out soon, don’t miss it!@elroyalemovie Load more comments shaomengyicr7❤️ gazala.kazmi❤ lauram198913@kirsty2030 ooo no he looks weird desi_loves_lolaThe new Brad Pitt 😋 tridip07kalitamoi sun. nijoke sai bhal lagil=-O olesechkabelyaevaCool 😎 alastairhinchliffe@aneriejones just my second job hun, have you not seen my model portfolio? ;) nadia_mendes07Precioso😍 mitrevski.nikki@annalisa.ierardo yeah I like him 🙊 nikki_absalom@blythe.dana sergioarevalojThor en sus ratos libres k_kkkkkkevinlook older😕 dhairya_rathod007Damn Handsome! 🔥@chrishemsworth sally.ci@mayelamayhem 😄♥️ marwa.s.elghamry_Really i love you .. from Egypt ❤ revyjo1980Beautiful smile _itsmebunnyLB flozybrownCan stare at u all day😍😍😍😍 sarahxbrowatzki@kiingmarvel daaaaaamn tycwmcylla@sarjenks Noooo why did they have to shave him! 😢 that’s a definite cinema date!! Xx bancmendez😍😍😍 dashing gail_wattWhat a gorgeous looking man xx sumanrojo@anatojeiro aay ya vi ayer... Mi amor ajajaja aunque... Me gusta mas con barba te diré we_are_the_millars@simbasista 😍😍😍 feelingsinwinterAmazing ! I’m glad you had some good time in there. Have a good day ! victooriacraig@faithtrustandfairydust I’m deceased jaywhite1@emiliepymm why don’t you like my latest ig post babecas.sacramento@sofii.alves 😍eheh bridie.francis@starfleetbucky yep the god of thunder actually murlidhar67all pic is Terrific 😘👍 little_flower_natalieGuapo!! 😍 percy_mariepogi😍 thor defenderofmrvelSAKALLARIN NERDEEEE biewtt_guurlWoahhh! Cutie pie number 2!!!! yuktaa.812😍😍😍 abida.kuGOD lemonfervstart@numnumsulaiman the 4th one 😭😘🤩😍 kalindasharm@dorianadf11 tutto ok??? fee_nkind🔥 aaayaaa_98So hooooot!!!🔥💕 perezfuertescarmenMama mía😄😄😄 tanvir949👏👏 dagmarrulandSchöne Bilder 😊 kauppinenmilmagod ??? daddy ??? aimgel77@tashfromthetap ⚰ hassanhassan3834I love you so much parnikamedhekar@rupsha1093 I miss his looking hair andressaleto😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 12 HOURS AGO Instagram Log in|Sign up ABOUT USSUPPORTPRESSAPIJOBSPRIVACYTERMSDIRECTORYPROFILES 14. http://www.justjared.com/photo-gallery/4156098/chris-hemsworth-san-sebastian-film-festival-05/# 15. Chris Hemsworth's Parents Join Him at 'El Royale' Spain Premiere! POSTED IN Chris Hemsworth's Parents Join Him at 'El Royale' Spain Premiere!   « PREVIOUS NEXT » 16. https://www.bing.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/chris-hemsworth-feels-gross-how-13351049.amp 17. Chris Hemsworth feels "gross" about how rich he is after Thor actor's mega-mansion is revealed The soap star-turned-superhero earned over $30 million last year alone 18. NEWSPOLITICSSPORTFOOTBALLCELEBSTVFILMWEIRD NEWSTECHMONEYTRAVELFASHIONMUMSCOMPETITIONSQUIZZESGOT A STORY? CELEBS Chris Hemsworth feels "gross" about how rich he is after Thor actor's mega-mansion is revealed The soap star-turned-superhero earned over $30 million last year alone SHARE BY ZOE SHENTON04:09, 3 OCT 2018UPDATED06:07, 3 OCT 2018 CHRIS HEMSWORTH SNAPSHOTS OFFER GLIMPSE INTO FAMILY LIFE AT HOME Chris Hemsworth has said he feels "gross" about how much money he makes. The Thor star sat down with GQAustralia to discuss his views on money and also spoke about how certain film projects he's worked on have suffered because his main priority was his family. The soap star-turned-superhero, who earned over $30 million last year, and wife Elsa Pataky are parents to twin sons Tristan and Sasha, four, and six-year-old daughter India. "I feel gross about it," Chris, 35, told the magazine when discussing his wealth. The actor smoulders in black and white snaps by David Bailey(Image: GQ Australia) The magazine goes on sale on October 8(Image: GQ Australia)Chris covers GQ Australia(Image: GQ Australia) "I remember saving up for a surfboard when I was younger. The surfboard was 600 bucks and I saved up for a whole year with Dad’s help. I didn’t even want to surf on it for fear of damaging it. It taught me so many lessons about appreciation and working hard for something,” he said. The actor wants to instill those lessons in his three kids. Chris and wife Elsa Pataky(Image: Splash)The actor at the GQ Men of The Year Awards last month(Image: PA) READ MOREChris Hemsworth's £6million fortress looks INSANE as locals compare it to a factory or an airport “I don’t want them to feel like they’re privileged in any way. The fact that we have money and their parents are famous, that somehow they’re special, that scares me because we grew up with no money," he went on. Speaking about family, Chris said Elsa and their children are his main priority. Chris at the premiere of Avengers: Infinity War(Image: FilmMagic)Chris as Thor He went on: “There are times when I’ve thought, ‘Wow, because having kids is more important to me, some of my roles have suffered.’ "There’s definitely a couple of films I could’ve put way more energy into but I was like, ‘No, I’d rather be with my kids.’” Last week jaw-dropping pictures of the actor's new home revealed the extent of his wealth. Aerial shots show how the fortress-style building in Byron Bay is shaping up an unlike other beach-side homes in the area, the enormous rectangular concrete structure looks more like the most recent instalment on Thunderbirds' Tracy Island or the evil lair of a bond villain, rather than the home of two Hollywood megastars. Read the full interview in GQ Australia. Follow @mirrorceleb MORE ONChris Hemsworth NEWSPOLITICSFOOTBALLSPORTCELEBSTVFILMWEIRD NEWSQUIZZESTECHMONEYTRAVELFASHIONMUMSMOTORING FOLLOW US © 2018 MGN Limited 19. http://www.justjared.com/2018/10/02/chris-hemsworth-feels-gross-about-his-wealth-says-he-doesnt-want-his-kids-to-feel-like-theyre-privileged/ 20. Chris Hemsworth Feels ‘Gross’ About His Wealth, Says He Doesn’t Want His Kids to ‘Feel Like They’re Privileged’ | Chris Hemsworth Chris Hemsworth Feels ‘Gross’ About His Wealth, Says He Doesn’t Want His Kids to ‘Feel Like They’re Privileged’ Tue, 02 October 2018 at 9:48 pm Chris Hemsworth is opening up about raising kids as a celebrity. During a recent interview with GQ Australia, the 35-year-old actor opened earning a reported $31.5 million last year - and how it's affected being a parent. PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics ofChris Hemsworth “I feel gross about it,” Chris said about wealth. “I remember saving up for a surfboard when I was younger. The surfboard was 600 bucks and I saved up for a whole year with Dad’s help. I didn’t even want to surf on it for fear of damaging it. It taught me so many lessons about appreciation and working hard for something." Chris and wife Elsa Pataky are parents to three children - India, 6, and 4-year-old twins Sasha and Tristan and they want their kids to grow up reaping the rewards of hard work. “When I think about my kids, I don’t want them to miss that joy. Elsa and I talk a lot about how we instill that same appreciation and respect for things, Chris said. "I don’t want them to feel like they’re privileged in any way. The fact that we have money and their parents are famous, that somehow they’re special, that scares me because we grew up with no money.”

[alexander-banelightwood]

Sh 2x08 Recap

Weekly recap here: *taps chin* Where do I even begin?

So, the show is definitely getting better. I really enjoyed this episode, despite some upsets..

1) *Singing* Fuck you, and fuck her too. Alec hand delivered a ‘fuck you’ to maryse and I loved every minute of it. He was like ‘this is my man, and we done fucked, and he aint going anywhere cuz we done fucked, and you better get your shit together bihh.’ 

But on a serious note, I’m proud of him. Alec has internalized his feelings for so long, thinking that he was somehow wrong for being gay; all b/c that’s the way he was brought up thinking. He’s starting to accept himself, and accept his sexuality, and he’s proud of who he is. In order for Malec to work, Alec had to learn how to love himself first. So him standing up for his sexuality, and his boyfriend, to his mother, was so important. Glad the show showed this. 

2) We did miss the sex scene. All the upset malec fans can go ahead and be upset now; even though I suggest you don’t. At least we got to see ‘where the magic happened’ even though we saw the bedroom b/c of a fucking cat. Still, can you imagine? Alec writhing, and arching his back, on those silk sheets? His neck barred while Magnus goes to town on that ass, and his runes? Ugh...fuck. Okay, I need to get it together. 

3) Can we talk about Jace and Magnus right quick? I almost died when Jace scared Magnus, b/c Magnus thought Jace could feel Magnus and Alec having sex. Lmfao, like can you imagine? “Alec? You want to know why I keep cockblocking? Because I’m tired of being in the middle of training and feeling your fourth orgasm!!” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Okay, I’m done. 

But lowkey, Jace being attacked by kittens was too fucking hilarious. I need more Jace and kittens. Jace needs nice and fluffy things. 

I also want to know if Magnus will feel a bit guilty for allowing all this to happen? I mean, it’s because Magnus is so welcoming and trusting, the warlock knew she could disguise herself as a cat in order to do what she needed to do. It must hurt to have your weakness exploited against you like this. 

4) Magnus and Max met!! BUT it did NOT go like planned. Honestly, fuck Maryse for putting those thoughts into Max’s head. He’s a child and they are prone to copying what they see, hear, and experience. Magnus and Max should have had such a cute meeting, but instead it was ruined by Maryse’s ignorance, even though she’s now starting to realize the error of her ways. I do love how the show portrayed this because this is how generational hatred is created. You aren’t born to hate.

I know Maryse has been dealing with her husband cheating and instead of confronting the cheating she turns her anger and annoyance onto Magnus. Not right, but all we can do is learn and grow from our mistakes. 

5) BAMF Magnus??? Can I get a ‘hell yeah?’ The way he worked his magic this episode seriously fucked me up. He was so freaking hot, and talented, and bamf as fuck. R.I.P. me. I bet Alec’s dick was hard as fuck. 

6) *Pulls out every knife in my house, even the plastic knives and butter knives.* I’m seriously coming for Valentine. Like, how dare he? How fucking dare he do those hallucinations that almost made Jace kill Maryse, and Alec kill himself?? Boy, oh boy, let me at him. *Takes off earrings.* I will fuck him up. Not only that, but he done kidnapped Alec’s future daughter, Madzie. Fuck him!!! *Alec save your child!!!* But real talk, now that oh girl is with the Clave, Madzie is going to be all alone so Alec needs to adopt her. 

7) When Alec said ‘stay with us?’ Can I please fangirl interpret that as meaning he stays with Magnus because Jace stays with Magnus, so what is this us? Unless he meant Izzy, but fuck it. I’ll do my own head canon. 

8) Izzy and Raphael. *Sighs* I loved this, and hated it all at the same time. Izzy was so vulnerable, and that’s why she’s doing this b/c she can’t keep pretending that she’s A Okay all the time. However, she exploited Raphael’s weakness and she never apologized for it. Raphael almost broke, and even had to apologize to Magnus because he knew what he was doing was wrong. Raphael is such a good person he was willing to risk his own recovery to help ease Izzy out of danger. Please give this guy all the love. I really did hate the way Izzy treated Raphael like her personal property, just bending him to do what she wanted without remorse. Addict or not, that’s fucked up and not okay and what’s so sad is that Raphael is so prone to people using him. Fuck, my heart hurts for this guy. Also, I think Raphael and Izzy could be cute together if done right. 

9) All the climon fans are happy, I know. I never liked book Climon, for multiple reasons, but I am willing to give show climon a chance. I can’t really talk on them just yet because I’m still getting over my book hatred. On a side note, the actor’s are so adorable and having climon together is cute. It’s just going to suck when jace realizes he and Clary aren’t related. *Can you say drama?* 

So in a nutshell, Valentine is still being a dick and trying to use Clary to destroy all downworlders b/c Valentine is a massive asshole with a god complex and a lot on the sociopath side. 

Maryse and her children, minus Izzy, seem to be on the track to working things out. Malec is so together it hurts. Climon is going to bring drama, but they cute though. And Izzy is in need of some serious intervention. Also, *Spoiler for next episode*, it looks like Alec may find out Magnus knew about Izzy seeking out a vamp dealer and is going to try and blame Magnus for it, which means drama!!!! I’m here for it all! 

[cooperenjoys]

Top Ten Movies of 2016

This is my thirteen (going on 30) year of doing a list of my top ten (Eleven) movies of the year.  You should make a comment of some kind! And if you don’t see your favorite film, tell me. Enjoy Movies.

10. Love & Friendship: Whit Stillman + Jane Austin = A funny and wonderful film that any Jane Austin fan should see right away.  Love & Friendship is pure breezy wit from beginning to end, and with so many verbal punch lines that you won’t be able to catch every joke in one viewing.  Kate Beckinsale proves again that she is way more than the Underworld movies.  And Tom Bennett is an actor to keep an eye on since he steals every scene he is in.  Film Fact: Kate Beckinsale's first theatrical release in almost four years.

9. Don’t Breathe: Fede Alvarez + home invasion = A grind house thriller ride that never lets up. Fede Alvarez has done it again after his well done remake of Evil Dead.  Alvarez exploits the sensory impairment of his villain for one suspenseful set piece after another, demonstrating a strong command of his craft while investing the mayhem with some sly subtext, both economic and moral. Mostly, though, Don’t Breathe is an exercise in pure, sustained intensity that never lets up until the final frames. A must see for any one that loves thrillers. Film Fact: Stephen Lang wore contact lenses that greatly restricted his vision, particularly in low light. The other actors, in the scene taking place in the dark, wore lenses that made them look like they had dilated pupils but also greatly restricted their vision.

8. Arrival:  Denis Villeneuve (Sicario) + Aliens = One of best films of the off the year that appeals to the intellect just as strongly as it appeals to the heart. In a film that explores language and characters, it allows the viewer to experience the depth and wonders of what language means, what it’s for, and what it can do. Also, how we communicate alters our perceptions. I have been enjoying this trend of recent years of smart science fiction and I am really excited to see what Denis Villeneuve does with the new Blade Runner. (I wrote almost the same line last year for Sicario.)  Film Fact: Director Denis Villeneuve and screenwriter Eric Heisserer created a fully functioning, visual, alien language. Heisserer, Vermette and their teams managed to create a "logogram bible," which included over a hundred different completely operative logo-grams, seventy-one of which are actually featured in the movie.

7. Deadpool/ Captain America: Civil War: Ryan Reynolds + Rated R Superhero film = Gold. And Superheroes fighting each other + Actually a good Spiderman = Nerd dreams.  I am happy that Ryan Reynolds finally got to be the correct version of Deadpool and got to do the film correctly.  Deadpool was a hilarious, crass, and ironic film that did something certain audiences have been waiting for, something different and that is why its highest grossing R-rated movie of all time. I am hoping Logan follows this trend of something different.  Film Fact: 20th Century Fox refused to pay the writers of the film, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, for onset input, Ryan Reynolds paid out of his own pocket for them to be onset to look over the film. While Captain America: Civil War had phenomenal action sequences and good character development, it also redeemed the not fantastic Avengers: Age of Ultron and cleansed the palette for the next Spider-Man movie. I can actually say that I am excited for the next Spider-Man movie thanks to this movie.  I can also say this was the essence of a classic Marvel comic come to life: the melodramatic angst, the team-ups and the in-fighting between characters. Everything my teenage self would have wanted.  Film Fact: The day before filming a fight scene with Robert Downey Jr., Sebastian Stan sent him a video of himself doing intense bicep curls in front of the decapitated head of an Iron Man suit. He attached the message, ‘Looking forward to our scene tomorrow Robert.’

6. Moonlight: Alex R. Hibbert + Ashton Sanders + Trevante Rhodes = Three amazing actors playing one character through many stages of his life. Moonlight is a stunning piece of filmmaking that is beautiful shot. Barry Jenkins used a shoestring budget to create a heart warming story of a boy growing, learning and finally accepting just who he is. There is so much I want to say about this film but I rather it is a surprise when you see it.  I can say that Mahershala Ali is amazing in it too and that he deserves an Oscar for this role.  Film Fact: When Juan teaches Little how to swim, Mahershala Ali is really teaching Alex R. Hibbert how to swim. When production started, Hibbert did not know how to swim.

5. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping: The Lonely Island + Mockumentarie = Box office failer, but Soon to be Cult classic (I hope).  I have to say I enjoyed every second of this movie.  While this movie has its silly moments that I enjoyed, I do feel it digs deep into the absurdities of not just the music business, but the nature of the music documentary. Couple that with genuinely great songs like “Equal Rights”, “Finest Girl (Bin Laden Song)”, and “Incredible Thoughts” and I feel like it is absolutely worthy of standing alongside other faux music docs like A Mighty Wind or This Is Spinal Tap. This is a movie I will be watching over and over again and finding new things to laugh about every time.  And after writing this, all I want to do is stop writing and go watch it again.  Film Fact: A small clip from a Lonely Island video "Kablamo" is seen in the movie.

4. Midnight Special: Jeff Nichols + Michael Shannon = Another Fantastic movie on my top ten list.  Jeff Nichols is on a string of fantastic movies. He is the Director of the fantastic film Mud that was on my top ten list last year.  He also directed another film getting a lot of hype this year, Loving. In the middle of those two films he decided to make a somewhat-Spielbergian sci-fi/adventure that manages to be both grounded and awe-inspiring. And he did what he always has done and hired the wonderful Michael Shannon to be in the movie, this time giving him a bigger role. Jeff Nichols also surrounded Michael Shannon with other great actors: Kirsten Dunst, Joel Edgerton, Adam Driver, Sam Shepard and young Jaeden Lieberher. This all together makes Midnight Special a lively and riveting movie that trusting its audience in a way few movies of this scope dare to be anymore. Its gets my award for best sci-fi of the year and continues the trend of smart science fiction movies. Film Fact: Jeff Nichols wrote the film as a reflection on becoming a father.

3. Manchester by the Sea: Kenneth Lonergan + Casey Affleck + Michelle Williams = Cryfest.   I have to start out that you will cry in this movie...well, at least I did.  Don’t let that scare you away from the wonderful film because while this movie is a sad movie, it’s also hilarious and sweet and frustrating movie.  The movie is just about Life, how messy and strange and sometimes incomprehensible it can be.  Kenneth Lonergan vision of human experience and the unknowability of the human heart is shown through the fantastic actors in the film.  A cast that includes Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams, Kyle Chandler (This man can do know wrong), Gretchen Mol, Matthew Broderick and a brilliant discovery Lucas Hedges.  One scene with Michelle Williams and Casey Affleck has me crying just thinking about it.  Go See it. Film Fact: According to an interview with Kenneth Lonergan on DP/30, the idea for the film didn't originate with him - the main core of a character going back home to take care of a family member after a death was pitched to Lonergan by Matt Damon and John Krasinski as a script that Lonergan would write and for Damon to direct. But due to scheduling conflicts with The Martian, Damon couldn't direct the film or star in it (he suggested Casey Affleck to star in the film.) Lonergan was then given free rein as a writer-director for the project, with Damon and Krasinski as producer.

2. Hunt for the Wilderpeople: Taika Waititi + New Zealand = A fun and beautiful film.  In this year of hell and death, we are lucky that Taika Waititi was there to give us this cheerful film that would require a strong effort to actually dislike it. After directing the fantastic What We Do in the Shadows, Waititi turned his attention to a heart-warming pre-teen adventure that would have felt right at home in the 1980s alongside The Goonies and Stand By Me. Julian Dennison and Sam Neill play off each other so well, that every scene with them is a delight.  The film also has beautiful shots of New Zealand forests. If you haven’t seen it, you are in for a real treat.  Film Fact: The Toyota that main characters use is called Crumpy, in reference to Barry Crump, the author of the book the screenplay was based on. An identical vehicle was driven by Barry Crump in a long running series of Toyota commercials in New Zealand, where Barry played a bushman taking a city slicker named Scotty for a drive through the Bush. Scotty was played by Lloyd Scott, who appears in this film as "Tourist".

1. Hell or High Water: Taylor Sheridan + Western = Best film of the year.  First thing that drew me into this film was the dialog.  Taylor Sheridan has shown he is a brilliant screenwriter after doing this film and last year’s Sicario. (This movie keeps popping up on this list.)  Sheridan has written a witty screenplay here that captures a bank-robbing cowboy movie perfectly while having a scathing commentary on the financial health of the country.  The film is a perfect balance of entertaining and having something say about the state of things.  The second item that helped this film is the stunning performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, Chris Pine and Gil Birmingham.  I would say the best role Chris Pine has ever played.  Jeff Bridges does a perfect job of being likeable and racist. And Ben Foster can do no wrong.  Then there is David Mackenzie directing.  He does a perfect job of showing a small buddy film but also displaying the wide open space of Texas.  I loved every inch of this movie.  Film Fact: The phrase "come hell or high water" typically means "do whatever needs to be done, no matter the circumstances". It also refers to the "hell or high water clause" in a contract, usually a lease, which states that the payments must continue regardless of any difficulties the paying party may encounter. Both definitions apply to different parts of the plot in this movie.

Top Ten Honourably Mention (In Alphabetical order):

Doctor Strange

Don’t Think Twice

Green Room

La La Land

Maggie’s Plan

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Sing Street

Swiss Army Man

The Invitation

The Witch

Best Animated Movie:

Zootopia

Runner Up: Kubo and the Two Strings and Moana

Best Documentary:  

O.J.: Made in America

Other Good Films of the Year:

Hail, Caesar!

Jungle Book

Nice Guys

Finding Dory

Mr. Right

Bad Moms

Sully

Eddie The Eagle

Captain Fantastic

Keanu

Everybody Wants Some!!!

The Lobster

Worst:

5. X-Men: Apocalypse

4. Star Trek Beyond (You can’t win them all Chris Pine)

3. Zoolander 2

2. Sausage Party

1. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

[trendingnewsb]

Hey Everybody, Jurassic World Sucked (And Here’s Why)

We’re now entering the mandatory hype period for the Jurassic World sequel — and for good reason, too. The first one made $1.6 billion at the box office. It’s at a solid 70 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and went on to be the seventh-highest-grossing Blu-ray in the U.S. The film was a shining success by every metric there is.

Well, except mine. I hated Jurassic World like an anal rash. I walked out of it the first time I saw it, because I’d rather be in a porn theater with Brett Ratner than a regular theater playing Jurassic World. To me, this was the Phantom Menace of the Jurassic Park franchise — a popular film, heavily praised, which would ultimately be considered a baffling cinematic shart once the nostalgia dust cleared.

Entertainment WeeklyNever forget what you did, America.

I know this sounds like the opinion of one angry man with a possible cornhole affliction, but I’d like you to take a second and allow me to calmly explain why I’m objectively correct. This was a visually broken film made by a boardroom of glossed dildos who had no idea why the original movie was so beloved. And I’m going to prove it right now. Calmly and briefly, like some kind of pedantic monk.

Read Next

6 Movies Aimed At Kids (With Scenes That Definitely Weren't)

The film starts on a meta observation by Bryce Dallas Howard’s character, as one of her first lines is “Let’s be honest, no one’s impressed by a dinosaur anymore.” This single bit of dialogue serves as the crutch on which the entire movie slumps, a lazy sentiment I’ve seen countless times when people defend why they enjoyed this film. “Hey, it was a stupid fun time! You can’t expect it to have the same impact as Jurassic Park, a movie made 20 years ago!” Only the truth isn’t that moviegoers are no longer impressed by seeing a dinosaur, but that Jurassic World had no goddamn idea how to make a dinosaur impressive. But they choose to neg the audience instead of owning up to it, like biting someone’s dick off and then declaring “People just don’t like blowjobs anymore.”

So let me give you the first of many examples. Please pay close attention to the following expertly made GIFs:

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Universal Pictures“Careful, it can smell franchise desperation.”

This is the scene wherein the Indominus Rex first escapes from its enclosure and chases our Chris Pratt under the truck. Had we not clearly known he was the star, this could have been a moment of visual suspense. Only it’s not quite right.

See, for most of this scene, the camera stays under the truck with Pratt. This creates a feeling of claustrophobia and helplessness, akin to being a trapped animal or a Japanese game show contestant. It makes us equally disoriented as to where the dinosaur is (like the character would be). It’s also exactly how Spielberg shot the T-rex escape scene in the original. That entire sequence was mainly seen from inside the cars. And while they try to do the same thing, Jurassic World stupidly cuts to a wide shot, revealing the dinosaur’s location and breaking that tension.

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This single shot ruins the moment. And watch what happens when I remove it:

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Obviously the timing is off because I removed a shot, but staying under the car considerably improves the fear factor of that scene. Could they not take a cue from the classic film they were referencing? I get that Spielberg is, like … the best living director, but these little tweaks don’t require the brain of Orson Welles. You don’t have to be Movie-Sherlock to deduce how tense the car scene in Jurassic Park is, and how grandstandingly clown shit this looks in comparison:

Universal Pictures“GGGGOOOOOOAAALLLLLLLLLL!”

I’m legitimately alarmed that anyone watched three turd-colored cartoon dinosaurs Pele a giant hamster ball and thought, “Yeah, this is what I wanted Jurassic World to be.” But even if you did enjoy this scene, there’s still something not quite right about it. For such a hilariously violent moment, I don’t feel like the kids are in an ounce of danger. And that’s probably because they don’t really show them much, instead cutting to wider shots to boast the batshit action. Much like Pratt under the truck, I would have rather experienced this from the disoriented POV of the characters inside the ball, feeling every slam and spin. But these terrified kids barely look jostled or injured after flying through a forest … even when this happens:

Universal PicturesNote: That kid’s terrible hair is not CGI. It’s naturally that annoying.

I’ve seen enough Russian dashcam videos to know that when a vehicle goes really fast and then suddenly stops, the things inside of it tend to react. These kids get slammed violently into the ground and don’t even seem to notice. The one on the right just keeps screaming, while the one on the left doesn’t even stop fiddling with the seat while being piledrived into shattering glass. Not even their heads or arms seem affected by the physics of the impact. It’s almost as if … and hear me out … they filmed this against some kind of green screen, forgot to tell the actors how to react, and then clumsily stuck the footage together in post. And so while the environment and dinosaurs look photoreal, the scene plays out like a shitty cartoon. This is below farm league. Hell, it’s below every agricultural coalition of sports players you can imagine.

And the failure of bare bones filmmaking ranges everywhere from making a scene exciting to simply trying to make it effective. If several people are eagerly looking into the cage of a fierce goat-destroyer, and that creature isn’t showing up, you should show a shot of the empty cage, right? Like this:

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This scene goes silently back and forth between the looks of anticipation and the creepily deserted cage, the camera never crossing over the fence so as to give the T-rex paddock a feeling of danger. Again, that’s basic day one filmmaking. Shot, reverse shot.

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And Jurassic World couldn’t even manage that.

No shitting, this sequence in which Pratt and Howard look into the Indominus cage and realize it’s empty never cuts to a shot looking into the empty cage. They tap on the glass and exclaim that it’s missing, but we the audience are never shown that. We’re not experiencing the tension through their eyes, and in fact become totally removed when the film pulls out to a wide shot from inside the barrier.

Universal PicturesYou know, that thing that Spielberg knew not to do.

I know that sounds like a really minor issue, but it’s the root of the problem with the film’s visuals: At no point does the camera know who the main characters are, or how to show us what they are feeling. There’s no perspective. I could spend pages pointing out each shitty little problem, but I want to focus on the ones that clearly undermine the emotional impact of the dinosaurs, which are often shot in the least awe-inspiring ways possible.

Take the first mosasaurus scene. It shouldn’t be hard to film a 55-foot aquatic swallow-beast performing Shamu tricks, right? The point of the moment is how excited our characters are to see this massive creature burst from the water. So it would make sense to film its entrance from an angle that shows off its size — preferably through the eyes of the audience.

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Nope. Jurassic World decided to shoot it from the dead shark’s perspective, which happens to be the only angle that makes the mosasaurus look small. Sure, it’s a neat-looking shot, but not the most impactful in terms of believability or scale. Like the cinematography equivalent of shutter shades, this film has a terrible habit of trading effective framing for looking “cool.” The camera has no discernible limitations to where it might suddenly be, forcing us to constantly remember that what we’re seeing is fake.

Remember the ending grapple between the Indominus Rex and Tyrannosaurus? No doubt you were reminded of the much less complicated battle at the end of Jurassic Park.

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Notice how the camera stays at human eye-level and starts from behind the shoulders of the fleeing characters? That’s because we’re watching this through their pants-shitting POV. It’s a rather simple camera move, which is why it feels like a real thing that’s happening.

Now let’s look at the moment of battle from Jurassic World:

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Whose eyes are we watching this with? Is someone flying a drone around the dinosaurs as they fight? Are we in the Matrix? That would certainly explain why, when the dinosaur’s tail violently swings over our actress, she doesn’t even flinch. This movie made a billion dollars.

See — this sequence certainly looks neat, but it totally fails to portray any emotional weight or even a human perspective. Instead of filming this like a real thing happening to real people, the filmmakers wanted to show off how cool their CGI dinosaurs looked from every angle, swinging the camera high in the air like they were tiny children toys. Only no one is scared of tiny children’s toys, you assholes.

Look, I know I said this was gonna be calm, but the mediocrity feeds my rage-blood like sweet gamma rays. They miss every obvious opportunity to scare us. One of the first things established about the Indominus Rex is that it can camouflage, and they use this exactly once. Remember how the shark in Jaws was scary because you couldn’t see it for most of the film? Well, Mr. Moviepants, you have a movie monster that literally turns invisible, and you never use that to conceal it from the audience? You opt to spoil any mystery 30 minutes in? You pricks. You dirty Moviepants pricks. But imagine how much freakier that Chris Pratt truck scene would have been with a giant goddamn predatorsaur. Why can’t I see your fucking predatorsaur, Jurassic World?

I need a moment. This was supposed to be like 600 words long, and I feel like I may have overextended that. Let’s all walk away and come back in 15. OK? OK.

So here’s a scene in Jurassic World that I actually liked. Remember when they stick cameras on all the raptors?

Universal Pictures“If we survive this, I can’t wait to show you my Raptors Gone Wild DVD idea.”

That was a neat scene! One of the few times the movie made me feel tension was when we realize the Indominus Rex is part raptor and it becomes their alpha, turning them on their human handlers.

Universal Pictures“Their dicks. Bite off their dicks first.”

This shot of them all slowly turning around was chilling. I was certain the very next thing we were gonna see was a slaughter, ironically shown from the perspective of those cameras they attached to the raptor’s heads. Wonderf-

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–uck. Instead of paying off the cameras, the film suddenly switches tones into action mode, breaking all the tension it earned a second ago. And while we eventually do see a few cutaway shots from the raptor-cams, that should have been exclusively what we saw. This entire scene should have taken place in the control room, playing out on a sea of horrified faces. But again, this movie has no idea what perspective to show us, opting to fly in every possible direction like a drunk goose. What a piece of shit, that goose.

But that’s not the only issue. While the score often invokes John Williams, the movie’s visuals and writing have no idea what to do with that. Remember the helicopter landing scene in Jurassic Park, and that infamous Williams score? Of course you do. You’re getting aroused even thinking about it.

Universal Pictures“Buh bah, buh BAH, bah nuh nah, nuh nah, nuh naaah!”

That was the “call to adventure” moment for the heroes, the journey into Act Two as a group of excited strangers arrive at the island for the first time. This music is also used in a helicopter scene Jurassic World, the one tiny difference being that it’s insanely inappropriate for what’s happening …

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The characters are in a helicopter, sure. And that helicopter is flying shakily like in the original, yes. And they even fly by the same waterfall from the original scene this song played during …

Universal Pictures

But these characters aren’t on their “call to adventure.” They’re three business associates going on a casual ride to review a new attraction. The point of the scene is that they are ridiculously blase about their dinosaur jobs.

So why is this exciting music playing? Why are they showing us the waterfall? Are they being ironic? Are you trying to be fucking ironic, Jurassic World? A better guess is that they needed to shove those elements in there to spark our nostalgia, the result being the equivalent of playing the Jaws theme over a guy eating toast.

And this sums up the film for me: nostalgic callbacks lacking any understanding of what they are referencing. The result is a “pretty fun” film we hurled money-bergs at because it triggered our childhood memories. I mean, try to watch this moment from the original film without getting wistful for the days of light-up sneakers …

Universal Pictures“Bah nah nah … nah bah! Bah nah nah … nah nah!”

It’s so awe-inspiring and emotional. Alan Grant spent his entire khaki-smothered life studying dinosaurs, and he just turned to see a fucking gaggle of them for the first time. The classic theme swells as the camera pushes in on his face before cutting to a wide shot from the group’s perspective, then back to everyone’s reaction. The scene continues to cut from amazed face to amazed face as John Williams musically fucks all our mothers. Because this moment, and the iconic theme song, is not about the dinosaurs. It’s about the characters’ emotional reaction to them. That’s why when the film eventually closes on Grant smiling out at the dinosaur-like birds, the theme returns once again. Because even though his weekend on dinosaur island killed a lot of people, it didn’t kill his giddy passion for digging up their monster bones. Good for him!

Jurassic World also uses the theme in a similar moment. Our lead child has been established as a dinosaur geek who’s overjoyed about visiting the park. We follow him as he excitedly bursts into his hotel room, runs to the balcony, and (as the classic theme swells) opens it to see the park for the first time …

Universal Pictures

… and the camera blows right past him, never thinking to show us his face or even stay in the same proximity. Instead of cutting back to the amazed look in his eyes or establishing any kind of emotional connection with our protagonist, the filmmakers get distracted by zooming in on the visitor’s center … for some reason. Why the hell are they showing us this? What narrative purpose does this CGI pyramid butt plug serve? The kid burst through a window to the Jurassic Park theme, and the next thing you show isn’t a goddamn dinosaur? This isn’t called Visitor’s Center World, you movie-ruining goblins. And this movie made 1.6 billion dollars.

David hated Jurassic World, and so can you! Just talk to him on Twitter to find out how!

These Wearable Velociraptor Claws were one of the exceptionally cool things to come from Jurassic World, but- oh, and the Chomping Velociraptor Head! OK, but otherwise, David makes some solid points.

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Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. A young woman from the trailer park and her very smelly cat. Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits, a new novel about futuristic shit, by David Wong.

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