#and they start drinking or doing drugs to make them forget or to mask their pain

[fictionalreads]

Could you pls do an Armando X reader angst where he shoots her instead of Mike🙈 Idk what their relationship is so you decide lol LOVE LOVE LOVE UR WORK!! I hope I make sense😭💗

AWE THANK YOU! This made perfect sense to me, and I just hope you like it.🥰 Title is from Goodbye by Victoria Monet. Don't forget to comment, like and reblog. Let me know how you guys like it.

After You, I'll Never Really Use My Heart The Same

Pairing: Armando Aretas x Reader

Fandom: Bad Boys Movies

Warnings⚠️: Angst, canon typical violence, like one or two cuss words

You’d been in love exactly one time.

You found being vulnerable, opening yourself so intimately and trusting them to accept and celebrate you as a person, difficult. Which was crazy because your job as an undercover cop meant you had to allow parts of yourself to show. The only way to truly fool someone is to stick as close to the truth as possible. You were good at it, faking the openness and trust. But maybe it being fake is precisely why you found it so easy. 

It wouldn’t mean anything.

Armando Aretas was different. He saw through the facade you’d adopted while in Mexico, working on a joint task force. He’d made his way past your usual defenses, no one else in your life ever bothering to try to truly know you as deeply as he did. It was like he saw straight through you, through all the hurt, through all the bullshit and pushed you to be the most honest you’d been in a while, even to yourself. 

The first time I love you's had been exchanged, it had been a fight. You didn’t want to admit it and he refused to let you hide and not face how you felt. You tried to tell him it wasn’t true, but he just told you he was just as afraid as you were and you could be scared together. You knew it was doomed, you were an undercover cop and he was poised to be a big name in the drug world, but you couldn’t stop it any more than you could stop a plane crash. You were meant to love him and he was meant to love you. Even if it had an expiration date.

So when the shot came, you knew exactly who had done it.

You had been waiting almost a year for him to find you and confront you. You knew betrayal was a sore topic for him so your betrayal would run deep. It would anger him and the longer he went without addressing it, the more it would fester. The longer he went without contacting you, the more you looked over your shoulder. You had signed up for this life, knowing that by showing criminals your face you were putting a target on your back, but you usually handled it well. This, like everything else with Armando, was different. You were genuinely afraid.

You had gone out to celebrate Marcus Burnett’s grandson being born. Lately you had been staying in, avoiding crowds out of an abundance of caution but Marcus had been a great mentor to you and you missed going out. After a couple drinks you felt more relaxed, even agreeing to be the endpoint in the ridiculous race Mike and Marcus were doing in an effort to prove they still had it.

One minute you were watching Mike and Marcus get set for the race and the next you were staring into the eyes of the man you loved. He had his visor flipped up, no doubt so you’d know exactly who it was that did the deed. You saw the anger, the betrayal in his eyes. You also saw the hatred that masked the love and hurt in them.

You knew what was coming next, but it didn’t help you prepare for the searing pain you felt. The bullet ripped through your chest, the feeling of fire in its wake. You watched as he watched you fall from the impact before speeding off. For a minute it was like everything had stopped. You couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t see anyone else. It was just you left behind like nothing. You turned your stare to the dark sky, too polluted for stars and wondered if this was the last thing you’d ever see.

Slowly, the world started to creep back into your senses. You felt the hard, cool ground beneath you. You saw the group of cops standing protectively around you, holding guns as if the attack would continue. You smelled Mike’s cologne as he hovered over you, pressing into the wound in an effort to stop the blood. You tasted the metallic blood in your mouth, knowing that was a bad sign. You heard Rita screaming, asking if anyone had eyes on the shooter.

Even in this state, you knew they wouldn’t. Armando was good at what he did, he’d be long gone by now. Oddly, you were okay with that. Despite everything, current situation included, you were glad he managed to get away. Maybe it was because if he was caught he’d tell the people you worked with the truth and you didn’t want to face their judgement. Maybe it was because you still loved him and the thought of him in a cage hurt.

By the time the ambulance got there, you were fading fast. Marcus kept telling you to keep your eyes open and you tried but your eyelids were so heavy. You were okay with dying. You were okay with this being your end, with knowing they’d never find the connection between you and the shooter. If you lived, you would have to come clean, face him again and you weren’t sure you could do that. Death was easier.

Death at the hands of Armando was forgivable.

[mymoodwriting]

26.7k, yandere, illegal activities, racer car driving, speeding, drinking, avoiding authorities, alcohol, drunk behavior, medication, drugs, needles, amnesia, smut, gang bang, female penetration, fingering, unprotected sex, handjob, cum play, cream pie, birth control pills, bruising, undercover operation, criminal acts, robbery, kidnapping, manipulation, verbal abuse, near dead experience, car accident, interrogation, restraints, lies, deceit, deja vu (@starillusion13)

I know you get deja vu...

    Opening your eyes felt strange, as if you had been sleeping for days and were finally waking up. You took in a soft breath, seeing an unfamiliar environment. Your senses slowly came to, and you heard the beeping of a machine. You lazily looked over, seeing what appeared to be a masked doctor checking an IV drip, intending to add something to it. Your eyes slowly followed the line until you found the needle, feeling it sticking out of your arm.

“… what…”

“Hm, you’re awake?”

“Am… am I… in a hospital?” You looked around. “What happened?”

“Uh… what’s the last thing you remember?”

“My head… it’s fuzzy… wait, what day is it?”

“It’s Sunday.”

“Okay, I didn’t miss classes…”

“It’s summer though.”

“Huh? No, it’s… what’s the date?”

     You needed to hear the date twice, not wanting to believe what you were hearing. Because if it was true, then there was a six month gap in your memory. 

“Do you really not remember the last six months?”

“What happened…”

    You looked up at the person with you, on the verge of breaking down in panic. You were so scared and confused when suddenly a familiar face came into the room.

“Y/n!”

“Chan!”

    The tears spilled out when Chan came over to hug you tight. Even if you didn’t understand what was going on, having him here brought you relief. You weren’t alone anymore. He let you cry until you exhausted yourself, completely ignoring the other person in the room as they left, not even asking for them to get the doctor. At the moment he was just glad you were alive and awake.

“Chan… Chan, what’s going on?” You sniffled. “What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No… but the other person… what’s the date…”

“Y/n, what-”

“I’m missing six months… my memory… what’s happening?”

“Easy, just take it easy, everything’s going to be alright.”

    You had so many questions, but Chan insisted on getting a doctor first to look you over and make sure everything was alright. That’s when you learned how you wound up in the hospital. You had been in a car accident, a bad one as it had flipped over and rolled. You were found unconscious, upside down and buckled into the driver’s seat of the car. Now you were starting to feel all your wounds. The bruises and cuts that decorated your skin, not to mention the whiplash and head injuries. You were lucky nothing had broken, except your mind apparently. The head trauma is most likely what cause the amnesia. Theoretically you should regain your memories, but there was no way to know for sure.

“What happened, Chan?”

“I don’t know. You were driving alone late at night on an empty street. There’s no CCTV to look at, so no one knows what happened to you that night. Only you do, but you’ve forgotten.”

“So I have to remember…”

“You don’t. You’re alive, that’s all that matters. It’s probably best if you don’t remember that horrible night anyway.”

“Chan.”

“Hm?”

“Six months ago I was in school. If I don’t remember I’d basically have to retake a whole semester.”

“Are you seriously worried about that right now?”

“Kinda… all that tuition money…  just down the drain… not to mention my education…”

Chan scoffed. “I cannot believe that’s your biggest concern right now. How about you focus on your recovery first.”

“But-”

“Look, I’ll take care of everything, including you.”

“Me?”

“You think I’m just gonna drop you off at your apartment when you get discharged? You’ll stay with me until I deem you fit to be on your own again.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Did you already forget how you wound up in the hospital? You were driving alone in the middle of the night!”

“I…”

“I’m sorry.” Chan quickly apologized. “I didn’t mean to scold you or anything like that… I just don’t want you on your own anymore, at least until I’m sure you’ll be alright.”

“I get that… thank you… and I’m sorry too…”

“For what?”

“I can’t imagine the kind of worry I put you through.”

“Yeah, you have no idea, but I’m just glad you’re safe now.”

    You had been unconscious for about three days, having been rushed into emergency surgery upon your arrival. Chan had been staying with you all this time, only stepping out to get food or take a call to keep the others updated. Now that you were up and doing well you could properly start your recovery process. You stayed in the hospital for a little over a week, and then got discharged into Chan’s care. He took you to his place. His loft that you were thankfully still familiar with. There were a few new things though, but you couldn’t explore much until you were better on your feet. So until then Chan attended to your every need, even when you protested. Although he tended to disappear at night, for work.

    You wanted to ask about that. A lot changed in six months, but you were certain he didn’t want to talk about it, so you waited. Once you were good on your feet, you kept it to yourself. So one night when Chan put you to bed and went out, you got up and went into one of the other rooms. It wasn’t his bedroom, but his office. Six months ago it had been mostly empty. A few papers hung on the wall, some basic points written on the whiteboard, and some question marks over some silhouettes. Now nearly every inch of the wall was covered with reports, or newspaper clippings, or hand written notes. Although there was a new question on the whiteboard.

“Who are the Black Pirates?”

    Eight pieces of red string led from the question to eight headshot silhouettes. Christopher Bang was your childhood friend who had grown up to become a cop, and Chan was the name he had taken upon going undercover. You probably shouldn’t be here, a part of his fake life, but you didn’t want him to be alone. Besides it wouldn’t hurt to have some piece of his real life around, something to keep him grounded and remind him who he really was deep down. Six months ago he was just getting started, having recently gathered up a team and making his way into the illegal street racing scene. From all the information on the wall, the operation was still going, but you weren’t sure if there had been progress. So while you had the chance you looked around, seeing what he had been up to all this time.

❤

“Y/n, what are you doing in here?”

“Uhm?”

    You woke to the sound of Chan’s voice, slowly lifting your head off the desk. It seemed you had fallen asleep at some point during all the reading.

“What time is it?”

“Like five in the morning.”

“And you’re barely getting home?”

“What are you doing in here?”

“Just some light reading…”

“Why.” 

    Chan went over to you, grabbing the papers you had been sleeping on. You merely yawned and rubbed the sleep from your eyes.

“I was just curious. Last I remember you had just begun this whole operation.”

“If you had questions you could have just asked.”

“And would you have answered me properly?”

“…”

“I thought so.”

Chan sighed. “You know this is meant to be top secret information, right?”

“That you just leave splayed out like this where anyone could see.”

“Not just anyone knows where I live. Nor could they get in so easily.”

“Touché.” You looked over at the whiteboard. “You’ve made some progress though. I guess the Black Pirates are an eight member gang.”

“In theory.”

“Theory?”

“There could be members that don’t go out on the field, or members that only participate in gang activities. All we know is that when it comes to committing crimes, the Black Pirates are seen as an eight member gang. At least that’s been consistent the last few months.”

“And you have no idea who it could be?”

“I might have a group of suspects.”

“Oh, who?”

“It’s just a gut feeling, nothing more.”

“So, no real progress then?”

“If it was that easy to catch them I wouldn’t need to go undercover.”

“Right… how are the others?”

“Good, and happy to know you’re alright too.”

“Tell them I said hi, and to come visit me.”

“I’ll relay the message. Now you should go back to bed.”

“Fine.”

    You got up and stumbled a bit, your legs still asleep, but Chan insisted on walking you back to your room. You slept in until Chan woke you to eat breakfast, and then you went back to sleep for a bit more. Now that you weren’t bedridden you could start catching up on things. First off you needed a new phone, as yours got destroyed in the crash. Chan had already prepared one for you and added your old contacts. Everyone you messaged was glad to hear from you, having been getting updates from Chan beforehand. You made sure to thank him for all he had done.

    Since you were talking with friends again, you brought up last semester and started looking into your academic record. Chan still didn’t want you on your own, so he brought over some of your school things. You had passed your previous classes, and by looking over at your notes it seemed you understood the material well. Everything felt kinda hazy, but you figured you could continue with your planned classes for next semester without worry. Besides, Chan promised to cover your tuition for the next year, along with any other expenses so you didn’t feel like you were wasting money. 

    He still didn’t like the idea of you regaining your memories, but he was going to support you and your choices.So you slowly began to live your life again. It was a bit difficult adjusting to the sudden time change, but you managed well. Once you were in a better condition you decided to meet up with friends, do a bit of catching up, but it was all mostly from them. You kinda felt bad, hearing all these stories and not being able to remember them. It kinda created this distance between you and your friends. You had fallen behind, and you weren’t entirely sure you could catch up. You didn’t say any of this out loud, but it weighed heavy on your mind. You wanted to remember, but you also understood why Chan didn’t.

    You had gotten into a horrible accident. All you knew about it was what you had been told, and the injuries you were recovering from. Chan didn’t let you look at any of the crime scene photos, and he had already asked your friends not to bring up the subject or engage. Truth was you probably should have died that night, but you didn’t. So if you remembered what happened, you’d have answers, but you’d also relive that fear and pain. Maybe it was best to just move on and figure out your life without those six months, but something was also nagging at you from that forsaken void.

    One night you had made your way into Chan’s office again, not seeing anything new. You felt bad. All these months and he hadn’t made any real progress. Now you knew undercover work could take years, but you still wanted to help in any way you could. Chan had been working for months, but for you it felt like just yesterday he had started, and just yesterday he was a different person. You hadn’t mentioned it to him, but you knew he had changed. You couldn’t be sure if your accident was the reason, but Chan wasn’t the same person you remembered. He was a lot more cold and serious, even to you. It seemed like he was trying not to be, but it was a part of him now.

    While you stared at all his work you found something new on the desk. A sticky note with an address scribbled on it. You typed it into the internet, and going by the location, it seemed to be where the illegal street racing was going down. It was probably a bad idea, but you were curious to see what Chan’s work environment looked like. So you got dressed, finding something you felt was appropriate for the occasion. You caught a taxi, having it drop you off near the area, and then going your own way. For a moment you thought you were wrong and had just come out to a rather deserted area where you were surely in danger, but then you heard it. The sounds of rubber on the pavement, the smell of alcohol in the air, and the wild cheering of the crowds of people gathered for the show.

    This area was out of sight, and a good distance from the main roads, yet it had its own racetrack, perfect for illegal street racing. Firstly you were relieved to see your clothes matched the event, so you wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Although there were other ways to get noticed. You made your way into the crowd, looking around at the people, trying to find Chan. Not to get caught, but to know where he was and avoid him. Not to mention the rest of his crew. They’d surely tell on you if they saw you in a place like this. So you kept your eyes open and your ears sharp, picking up on as much information as you could. A race had just ended, and another was soon to begin. You were curious to see, so you tried making your way to the front, but that seemed impossible because of the crowds.

“What are you doing here?”

    You froze, thinking you had been caught, but the voice wasn’t all that familiar. So you slowly turned around, instantly relieved to see it wasn’t Chan or his crew, but someone else. They stared at you curiously, but also intrigued, and it was starting to make you a bit uneasy. Although there was something else about him too.

“Uh, what are you talking about?”

“You don’t look like you belong here.”

“Oh… is it that obvious?” 

The man chuckled. “You can say that.”

“Huh… well I was honestly just looking for a friend of mine…”

“I’m sure you were. Who are they? Maybe I know them.”

“I don’t know… does the name Chan ring a bell?”

“The leader of Stray Kids, of course. His crew is racing next, going up against The Boyz.”

“You know him?”

“He’s a good racer, but you’re not gonna find him out here. Come on, I’ll take you to him and give you a better show.”

“Uh…”

“Don’t be shy. I know you’re not the type.”

    Without waiting for a response the man took your hand and pulled you along. His grip was firm, so you couldn’t really pull yourself free. Besides he didn’t seem all that bad, so you figured you should at least see where this would go. He led you away from the crowds and over to a chained off area, like a VIP section. There seemed to be bouncers around, but they let him and you pass through without issue. Next thing you knew you were surrounded by cars, seeing all kinds, and watching the people around show them off.

“Ya, Wooyoung, what do you have there?”

“Look who I found!”

    Wooyoung, as you had discovered his name, brought you before what you assumed to be his friends. There were seven other guys, and four cars present. Now you understood where you were. This was where all the racing crews gathered and hung out in between races.

“Yeah, I bet you found them.” One of the others approached, watching you closely. “Nice to see you. What are you doing here?”

“She’s looking for her friend, Chan.”

“Ah, Chan of Stray Kids, and does he know you’re here?”

“No…”

“That’s rude, isn’t it? You’re friends and he won’t even invite you to his races.”

“He just worries about me.”

“I bet. Yet you came all on your own.”

“Yeah…”

“Interesting… oh, where are our manners, we haven’t properly introduced ourselves. My name is Hong-”

“Y/n!”

    That voice you did recognize, and hearing your name called out so harshly made you wince. You slowly looked back to see Chan storming his way over to you, the anger on his face clear as day. He grabbed your arm and yanked you away from the other. Before you could say anything to defend yourself he cut you off.

“You think this is funny?”

    You didn’t really know what he meant by that, until you realized he wasn’t talking to you. He was staring down at the guy you had just been speaking to, making you wonder why he’d be mad at them. The other just laughed, and the rest of his crew was chuckling too.

“Honestly, I find this hilarious, and oh so very intriguing.”

“Stay away.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s your one and only warning.”

    Chan walked off and tugged you along. You didn’t even say goodbye to the others, but it was probably best you didn’t speak. So you didn’t ask where Chan was taking you, or how he found you, or what that whole scene back there had been about. You wound up over with his crew. They all seemed confused by your presence but greeted you nonetheless, not asking questions. Especially not as Chan told Minho to race in his place, and you were shoved into the passenger side of his car. Chan put your seat belt on for you and slammed the door shut. Now you were sure he was mad at you. Still, you didn’t say anything until you were on the road, an empty road, and you were certain this wasn’t going home.

“Uh… Chan, where are we going?”

    He didn’t answer you, instead hitting the gas. You watched as the speed increased, making you grab your seat belt. Your heart was already pounding, filling your ears, and your head began to hurt.

“Chan…”

“…”

“Chan, slow down, you’re scaring me…”

“…”

“Chan!”

“…”

“CHAN!” 

    He slammed on the breaks and the car swerved to the side. Once it came to a stop you took off your seat belt and got out of the car, falling to your knees as you caught your breath. A moment later Chan got out of the car, glancing your way and leaning against the hood. He sighed and looked up at the night sky.

“That was dangerous, wasn’t it?”

“What is wrong with you!?” You screamed. “Why the hell did you do that!?”

“Cause… this is where it happened…”

“What?”

“Where you got run off the road.”

“Run off…” 

    You looked around, seeing the empty street. You had been told you were driving alone at night on an empty road with no CCTV, and that something happened that caused you to flip over. No other details were shared, until now it seems.

“What do you mean? How would you…”

“There were three different tire marks on the road, and your car had a few impact points. Suggesting, or confirming, you weren’t out here alone.”

“So it wasn’t an accident… but more of a hit and run… why didn’t you tell me? Why are you telling me now?”

“Because I’m not doing this again.”

“What-”

“Chan, please answer your goddamn phone!”

    You were still somewhat processing when you heard your own voice. You looked over to see Chan holding up his phone, playing back some recording of you, probably a voicemail. He couldn’t even look at you, eyes shut and head bowed as the message played.

“When you get this, please call me back immediately. You were right, okay? Shit was dangerous and… I fucked up, but it was an accident! I didn’t… shit, they caught up to me…”

    You could vaguely make out the sound of a car engine in the recording, two, hearing them get louder as they got closer. You sounded panicked, and started screaming when your car got hit.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck… Chan, I’m sorry… I know you told me to stay out of it… it’s my fault alright… please just call me back so I can tell you everything… I don’t know long I can do this… the Black Pirates-”

    Everything cut out as you heard the sound of a crash, and then the recording came to an end. Chan took in a breath as he put his phone away, and you could see the pain on his face.

“That… that was…”

“You were desperately trying to call me that night and I couldn’t answer the fucken phone in time…”

“So, the Black Pirates… they’re the ones that attacked me… but I don’t-”

“Six months ago you followed me to a race, and you made friends with the other crews. I told you to go home and stay out of my work but you insisted on helping me. I foolishly let you, but I didn’t know how deeply you had gotten involved… I don’t know what you were doing that night, or who you were with, or where�� but I’m guessing you figured out who the Black Pirates were, and they figured out who you were too…”

“So I know who they are… or at least I did…”

“You almost died that night y/n, and I’m not putting you in danger again. So please, stay out of this.”

“I know who the Black Pirates are… so if I remember-”

“No!”

“But I can help, I-”

“What did I just say? I don’t want your help, I never should have let you in the first place. I’ll find those bastards and make them pay. There’s no reason for you to put yourself through that night again just for the sake of remembering them. That is if you actually know who they are. For all we know, you were getting close or they caught you in a lie and they chased you down for that alone.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I’m the one who should be apologizing… I shouldn’t have put you in danger… I’m sorry…”

“I made you worry a lot…”

Chan scoffed. “Yeah… yeah you did…”

“Sorry…”

“Just promise me you won’t follow me again, that you won’t get mixed up in that shit again.”

“I won’t… I promise… I’ll just stick to school, alright?”

“That’s good.”

    You took in your surroundings a bit more before Chan said he’d drop you off back at his place. You apologized for interrupting his night, but he admitted he felt relieved in telling you the truth. That way you knew to stay out of his work, and he could rest assured knowing you were safe. When he dropped you off you playfully wished him good luck, and told him to get back safe. Once back in the loft you went into his office, looking at these things one more time and your eyes landed on the whiteboard, staring at the question.

“Who are the Black Pirates?”

    You knew the answer, in theory, somewhere deep down, but it wasn’t worth looking for. Things were better off this way, and now you felt more certain focusing on your life, on your future, than looking into the past. You walked out of the office and shut the door behind you. It was scary to think you had gotten involved in such dangerous things, that you almost died, so you certainly had a new appreciation for life. If only that danger didn’t come back to find you.

❤

    Before the new semester began you gave yourself a bit of a refresher course on your previous semester classes, especially those that had been vital to the advancement of your academic career. Your friends even helped as well to make sure you were prepared. Although they all assured you, including Chan, that if you couldn’t handle the classes, there was no shame in dropping out and retaking the others. You stayed positive, but thanked them for their support. You were nervous on your first day, but that was just syllabus day and getting to know what to expect of the class. It all seemed manageable, and you had previous notes to look over if necessary. 

    Since much wasn’t going on yet your friends suggested going out for drinks to celebrate the beginning of the semester, and make wishes for the future. You were more than happy to attend. It’d be another thing to get your life back on track. So you showered and got dressed for a night of drinking and fun. You started off at a bar before going to continue the party at a karaoke place. You all sang your heart out, and once you were a good amount of alcohol in you all began to wind down. You all held your glasses up and made a wish for the future, whether it was for the semester or for life, but you all cheered each other on and wished for the best. 

    Definitely time to go home though, and you all sent each other off. You had called for a driver beforehand, so you messaged them to meet up with you to take you home. You waited outside the karaoke bar, dancing and singing to yourself, not as drunk as your friends but rather tipsy. You checked your phone when you were suddenly tapped on the shoulder. A nice boy smiled and bowed at you, asking if you were the lady who had called for a driver. You said yes and made sure to check everything to assure he was in fact your driver. He could see you were unsteady on your feet and made sure to hold you close.

“You know… you look kinda familiar… do I know you?”

The man chuckled. “I guess not.”

“What’s your name?”

“Yunho.”

“Hm…Yunho… pretty…”

    He opened the door for you and made sure you were alright in the back. He was a good driver too, making sure not to make you sick. Even if you were intoxicated you had enough awareness to notice he was going the wrong way. You had probably given him your apartment address without realizing.

“Excuse me, but you’re actually going the wrong way.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah, my bad, I must have given you the wrong address earlier.”

“No problem, so where am I taking you?”

    Yunho was very understanding and apologized for the confusion. When you got to the loft he helped you out of the car and took you up to your place, opening the door for you too. Chan wasn’t home, out working again, so you weren’t worried about him catching you like this, probably wouldn’t approve of it either. You thanked Yunho for everything he had done, especially all the extra bits to make sure you got home safe.

“Really, thank you.”

“Just part of the job.”

“But you did more than necessary.”

“It’s no big deal. Sleep well.”

“Thanks, and get home safe.”

“Will do. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

❤

    Your classes had their difficult moments, but that was always to be expected. You were doing well overall, so you could continue with your life as normal, focusing on your studies. Sometimes you would glance at Chan’s office, wondering if there was any progress, but you promised yourself you wouldn’t ask. To give him peace of mind and keep yourself safe. Now that you were back in school and doing well, you talked with Chan about returning to your apartment. He was reluctant, but understood that you were your own person, and had your own life outside of him. It was kinda weird returning to your apartment. Things had changed, but those changes were decisions you made, even if you didn’t remember. 

    It kinda wasn’t your own place, but it was. So when you had some time you’d move things around again, trying to be comfortable. Your life was soon back on track, and it felt like nothing had ever happened. Everything seemed fine. Chan still kept in touch with you, and assured you everything was alright on his end. You were doing well in class, no longer feeling like you were behind with your friends. Things were moving forward, and yet that’s when the past began to haunt you. It all started with a simple headache in class. You thought it was normal but it only got worse. So your friends took you to the hospital.

“Have you been trying to remember your accident?” The doctor asked. “Or recover any memories from the past.”

“No… my life is doing well without those six months… so there’s no point. Why?”

“Usually headaches suddenly coming on in such a manner are related to regaining memories. Have you remembered anything?”

“No… not really…”

“Do you want to?”

“I’m not trying.”

“I see. It’s been a few months since your accident, so it’s possible the memories are coming back on their own.”

“Oh… there’s no way to prevent that… is there?”

“Memories, and the way the mind functions, still have their mysteries. All I can do is prescribe you some medication to help ease the headaches. Take them as needed.”

“Thanks.”

    You called Chan after your visit and told him what the doctor had told you. He seemed concerned, also wondering if there was any way to prevent that. It’s not like you really had control over this, but you promised Chan you would keep him updated if you remembered anything, especially things related to his case. You were scared, but you didn’t tell him. You had no idea the type of things buried inside your head, or what they would change about you if and when they came to light. You tried not to worry about it, but whenever your head hurt, even just a bit, you were terrified. The medicine did help with the pain, but that wasn’t going to stop the inevitable.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

    You’d always get distracted after a headache, worried you’d remember something horrendous. On this occasion you weren’t paying attention to where you were going, running into someone on campus. They could immediately tell you were kind of out of it, and showed concern.

“No, no, I’m fine.”

“You sure, you don’t look okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“You should sit down for a bit, collect your thoughts.”

“Yeah… yeah that’s a good idea.”

    The boy led you over to a bench, sitting down with you. He suggested some breathing exercises to help you calm down and steady yourself. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem. You sure you’re alright.”

“Yeah, just these headaches…”

“Are you taking anything for them?”

“Yeah, but it’s only for the pain.”

“What?”

“The headaches aren’t normal…”

“Are you sick?”

“No… I just got into an accident and I can’t remember some things… according to the doctor, these headaches probably mean my memories are returning…”

“And you don’t want that?”

“I’m scared…”

“Why?”

“Things happened… things I don’t really want to remember…”

“But I don’t think you can avoid it.”

“You’re probably right… sorry, I didn’t mean to dump my problems on you.”

“It’s okay. You’re looking better already.”

“Are you a freshman? I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus before… maybe a sophomore, you do seem a bit familiar.”

“Do I? I guess I just have one of those faces.”

“Maybe… what’s your name?”

“Yeosang.”

“Thank you, Yeosang.”

“No problem. Take care of yourself.”

    Yeosang excused himself first, wishing you well for the rest of the day. You certainly felt better after talking to him, but his words lingered. Remembering those months was probably unavoidable. You called Chan afterwards, admitting to the headaches getting worse and that you were bound to remember everything. He was worried about you, but he understood you probably couldn’t avoid it. So he suggested you come back to his place, to make sure you were somewhere safe when it happened. You agreed, saying you’d come by tomorrow after class. He looked forward to seeing you then, and told you to take care of yourself.

    You made it back to your apartment, happy to finally be home and unwind. You collapsed on the couch, reaching over for the TV remote only to not find it. You usually left it on the coffee table, but it wasn’t there. You checked on the couch, but nothing either. Then the TV turned on by itself. You slowly looked up at it, confused and frightened. When the channel changed you screamed, looking around your place frantically. You were alone, or at least you thought. A laugh suddenly filled your ears and you grew still. It sent a chill down your spine, especially cause you felt something vaguely familiar about it.

“Finally home.”

    You slowly turned around, finding a stranger leaning against the wall, twiddling a remote in his hand. Then you heard the floor creaking, seeing seven others appear, and you recognized some. Wooyoung from the race course, Yunho who drove you home that night, and the presumed student Yeosang. As all the lights were turned on you got a good look at everyone, beginning to recognize them all from the night you went to the street race gathering. You stood up in a panic, although there wasn’t much you could do as they had you surrounded. You reached for your phone only to have one of the boys grab your arm and take the phone from you. He tossed it over to Yeosang, who turned it off.

“Who… who are you, how did you get in here!”

“You really don’t remember anything, do you?”

“What?”

“But you’re about to, which means we don’t have to leave you alone anymore.”

“What… what are you talking about!?”

“It’ll make sense eventually. Let’s go.”

    Yunho came over and grabbed your other arm. You struggled against the two, but their grip was firm. While they held you another approached you, offering you a cocky grin before grabbing your head and exposing your neck. You felt a pinch, and then saw an empty needle moving away from your body, becoming fearful of the effects. Your heart was racing, but then you began to feel this exhaustion consuming you.

“No… no, please… please…”

    You tried fighting to free yourself, but it only made things worse. The edge of your vision started to go dark, and you were being dragged towards the door. You kept mumbling to be let go, but it did you no good, and the darkness eventually won.

❤

“Hmm…”

    As you began to regain consciousness you felt the restraints on your body. Your legs were tied together, as were your hands, and you were gagged and blind folded. You felt a cold surface beneath you, trying to move around and sit up. Although you froze when you heard a voice.

“Are you awake?”

    You didn’t answer, you didn’t move, but it was too late to pretend. You felt hands grab you and pull you up to your feet. You were shoved into a chair and then the blindfold was removed. It took a second for your eyes to adjust. You seemed to be in some type of garage, multiple cars around, and the eight from before surrounded you. Yeosang came up to remove the gag, and you didn’t scream, too frozen in fear.

“Goodness, you’re still so beautiful.” 

“What… what do you want… from me…”

“Isn’t the answer obvious?” One commented. “You.”

“Ma… me?”

“We could explain all of this, but with your memory returning there’s no point.”

“I don’t want my memory back…”

“But we do.”

“Just… just let me go… please…”

“Not gonna happen.” Yunho stated. “But you’ll be just fine with us.”

“No… no, please… let me go… I won’t say anything…”

“You don’t have to be afraid of us.”

“Let me go!”

“Stop asking.” Another snapped. “We’re not gonna let you go.”

“What do you want from me!?

“You!” Wooyoung yelled. “It’s so fucken annoying seeing you like this! This isn’t who you are!”

“Wa… what are you talking about?”

“Nine months ago you became a better person. You were fucken perfect! Then-”

“Easy there, Wooyoung.”

“Shut it, Jongho!”

“Ya! Both of you.” Another shouted. “We’re not here to fight among ourselves.”

    This gentleman came over to you, staring down at you and making you feel small. He laughed, the same from back at your apartment.

“It does hurt to see that I’m nothing but a stranger in your eyes right now. I didn’t really believe it at first when Seonghwa reported you had woken up with amnesia, so I sent some of my men to keep an eye on you. Yet every time you crossed paths with them, they were just strangers.”

“I… I don’t know who you are… any of you… and I don’t want to…”

“Well that’s too bad. Your little friend Chan got you involved, and you don’t get to walk away so easily.”

“How… how do you…”

“Once your memories come back everything will be clear.”

“No… I don’t want to remember…”

“But you will.”

“Fuck you!”

“Oh you did, all of us actually. I’d love to do it again.” He reached over and caressed your cheek. “Maybe that’ll help you remember.”

“Don’t touch me!”

“Fine. Let’s just go back to the beginning, shall we? Nine months ago you secretly followed your friend to a race. Care to guess how that went?”

“No… no, I don’t know…”

“Come on now, Wooyoung even told me he reenacted some things for you.”

“What…”

“You were so out of place, stood out like a sore thumb, you caught a lot of attention that night.”

“Stop talking…”

“We couldn’t help it, so we introduced ourselves, and brought you into our world.”

“Shut up!”

“I’m not going to!” 

    The boy grabbed your face and forced you to look at him. He was angry and sad, all mixed together and fighting for dominance. You just felt terror.

“I want my y/n back!”

“She’s not here!”

“But I will get her back.” He let you go and walked away. “If you’re not going to cooperate, then I’ll make you. It’s been months but you’re finally on the verge of regaining your memories. A little push shouldn’t hurt.”

“What are you talking about?”

    You saw the boy get something from one of the cars, a small case, and set it down on the hood. He opened it and you saw him hold up a small vial and a needle. You immediately began to struggle against your restraints, but it did nothing to help you. As he approached with a needle in hand you tried to move back, only for Wooyoung and another to come over and hold you still.

“This shouldn’t hurt, just open up your mind to remembering the past.”

“Stay away from me!”

“You’ll thank me later.”

    You felt the pinch of a needle again, your mind racing with possibilities. You had no idea what he had just given you or what the effects would be. Your head might explode in pain, or you’d simply pass. Although the gradual feeling of everything slowing down was certainly frightening. Things were fading from existence, and time seemed to melt. You tried to fight it, to stay awake, but there wasn’t anything to do as darkness swallowed you whole.

❤

Eight Months Ago…

“So this is your first big case?”

    Chan was always passionate about work, about justice, but you never imagined he’d take on such an assignment. Undercover work could take months, even years, but he was determined to do the job. Despite the confidentiality he shared a few details with you, after all, some of them were public knowledge.

“Yup. There’s been a string of robberies in nearby towns. From what we’ve gathered it seems these criminals have ties to illegal street racing.”

“Illegal street racing? Where does that connection come in?”

“They’re good drivers, very good, and you don’t see that with your average criminal.”

“True…”

“Besides that, a lot of these robberies happen in areas where these races have taken place. It’s still a theory, but there’s good enough evidence to pursue it.”

“So you’re going to participate in illegal street racing?”

“Yeah. I know where the gathering is tonight, so I gotta make a good first impression.”

“By yourself?”

“I’ve assembled my own crew.”

“Oh, can I go watch?”

“No.”

“What? Come on.”

“This is dangerous work, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“But it sounds so fun!”

“And if you get arrested?”

“You can just bail me out.”

“Y/n.”

“No?”

“Please just stay out of this, and stay safe.”

“Alright fine, just don’t have so much fun without me.”

Chan chuckled. “I’ll try not to.”

    You kept your word about not getting involved. Although whenever you came over to his place you had to peek into his office to see what he had gathered. Not much as far as you understood, but you’d always enjoy listening to Chan give you a debrief. He probably shouldn’t be telling you about the operation, or even have contact with you while he was undercover. You didn’t want him to be alone though, especially if this assignment could take years. He probably should have objected, but he also didn’t want to completely lose touch with his actual life, especially the person he was closest to. Besides all that, it was good to voice his findings and get an outside perspective on things.

    For a while that was good enough, but curiosity was killing you. So one night you managed to put a tracking app on Chan’s phone, and followed him out to one of his races. You were a bit worried about how you were dressed, but upon arriving it seemed you’d fit right in. Or so you thought. Chan never wanted you there, so you had to be careful to avoid him, but you were also trying to find him. He was one of the racers, he had his own crew and everything, and you wanted to see him in action. You discovered there was a lot more going on here than just racing. It was like one big party with drinks and drugs, and all kinds of things.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doing in a place like this.”

    You were lost in your own search that a strange voice startled you. The gentlemen immediately apologized and offered you a light bow. Although he kept a cocky grin on his face.

“First time?”

“Uh… is it that obvious?”

“Very. Are you alone?”

“Not exactly…”

“Makes sense. People don’t just wind up here without some sort of connection.”

“Yeah. I’m just looking for my friend.”

“Oh, who’s your friend, maybe I know them?”

“I doubt that.”

“Try me.”

“Chan?”

“Chan.”

“Yeah…”

“The leader of Stray Kids?”

“So you do know him?”

“Yeah, but you’re not gonna find him out here. Come on, I’ll take you to him.”

“Oh no, wait-”

    Before you could protest the guy grabbed your arm and pulled you along. You weren’t sure where he was taking you, or if it was a good idea to go along with them, but his grip was pretty firm. He led you over to this blocked off area, although the security posted let you both pass without any trouble. Soon enough you realized where he had taken you. There were cars all over the place, music blasting through the speakers, hoods popped open, and people talking about the cars. This is where the race crews hung out, and where they brought special guests.

“Guys, look what I found.”

“Oh shit, who’s the babe, Wooyoung?”

“This is… my bad, I never got your name.”

“It’s y/n.”

“Pretty. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Wooyoung, and these are my friends.”

    You were introduced to seven other boys, and they all seemed very happy to meet you. Although the leader came over to personally greet you.

“I’m Hongjoong.” The boy took your hand and kissed it. “Leader of this wonderful crew, Ateez.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“So tell me, what brings you out here tonight?”

“She was looking for her friend.” Wooyoung commented. “Chan.”

“Chan of Stray Kids?”

“That’s the one.”

“I didn’t know he had such good looking friends. Well that’s a lie, I’ve seen his crew, but I didn’t know he was hiding you.”

“He wasn’t really hiding me.” You corrected. “He just never invited me to one of his races before.”

“Well that’s rude. Why wouldn’t he invite you?”

“He just worries about me.”

“I guess I’d worry too if I had a friend like you.” Hongjoong laughed. “Come on, I believe Stray Kids are up next to race.”

    Hongjoong took your hand and led you over to the race course, taking you to a place with an elevated view. The rest of his crew gathered around, and you could see the cars driving up to the start line. The two revved their engines to hype up the crowd. You recognized Chan behind the wheel, becoming very excited to see this all play out.

“Who’s Chan racing against?”

“I don’t know, some random guy.” San replied. “It’s probably they’re first race against one of the big crews.”

“How many crews are there?”

“Uh, big ones, there are eight now. Everyone else is just trying to climb the ladder.”

“So how do you determine who’s on top?”

“Whoever has the most wins, and the crews’ skill behind the wheel.” Yunho explained. “No one ever really thought someone else would rise to the top, but Stray Kids really proved themselves.”

“So do the big eight ever race each other?”

“We do, but it’s usually a surprise, or for special occasions.”

“Wow, Chan has really been keeping a lot from me. I didn’t know he was so popular.”

“Stray Kids have skill, and there’s definitely natural talent there too.” Yeosang commented. “Although they’re quite stiff.”

“Stiff?”

“You know, cold and reserved. They’re good behind the wheel, but it kinda feels like they don’t fit in here.”

“Well maybe they need to loosen up.”

“Yeah?”

“This whole place looks like one big party. I would have thought Chan and his crew would fit right in.”

“Oh no, the real party happens elsewhere.”

“Does it?”

“Out here is where we come to race.” Seonghwa stated. “But if you want a party, I can send you an invite.”

“Really? Are Stray Kids going to be there?”

“You a big fan of theirs?”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind having some familiar faces around while I make new friends.”

“I suppose we should also give them a proper chance.” Jongho added. “See what they’re like off the track.”

“Sounds like fun.”

    You watched a few races before Ateez took you back over to their spot. Since you were new to all this they were very eager to show you their cars. Mingi brought you over to what he said was one of his favorites. He reclined back the driver’s seat so you could rest more comfortably on his lap. You kept an arm around his shoulders and listened intently as he told you about the car. As he revved the engine he had you bouncing up and down, making you giggle.

“You must like going fast.”

“That type of adrenaline, it’s intoxicating. Would you like a taste?”

“I don’t think I could drive a car like this.”

“You can be my passenger princess.”

“Isn’t it dangerous to have more than one person in the car?”

“Nah, that’s what makes it more fun.”

    You caught Mingi’s eyes lingering on your lips, and soon your eyes were doing the same. All of the Ateez members were quite beautiful, so anyone would be lucky to be sitting in Mingi’s lap right now, it just so happens to be you. Maybe you were imagining things, but you swear it looked like Mingi was leaning over to kiss you. That is before you got interrupted.

“Y/n?”

“Huh? Oh shit!”

    You heard your name being called, and when you looked over you saw Chan by the hood of the car. Your eyes went wide as you realized you got caught, especially in this type of situation. You tried to scramble out of the car, but Mingi already had his arm wrapped around your waist and held you in his lap.

“Mingi…”

“Chan?” Hongjoong peeked over at the scene. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, right!” Wooyoung suddenly yelled. “We were supposed to call you and tell you your friend was here.”

“Were you?”

“Mingi, please let go.”

    Thankfully Mingi let you go, and you got out of the car to meet Chan. He was keeping his cool, but you could see the anger in his eyes. You offered a shy smile and let him grab your arm, dragging you off to speak in private. You prepared yourself for the scolding you were about to receive.

“What the hell are you doing here!”

“Look… I can explain…”

“Did I not tell you to stay out of this! How did you even find me?”

“A tracking app…”

“A what!” Chan checked his phone. “Unbelievable.”

“I know… you should take better care of your phone.”

“Y/n!”

“Sorry… I just got really curious about your case… I couldn’t help myself.”

“How long have you been here?”

“A couple hours… I saw you race too.”

“Seriously?”

“Sorry.”

Chan sighed. “Fine, whatever, you got what you wanted, now go home and don’t come back.”

“But I can help.”

“I told you I don’t want you too.”

“Well you need me to.”

“What?”

“I was chatting with Ateez and they told me about you and your crew. You worked your way up to the top, and they recognize you have talent, but they don’t like you all that much.”

“The social game is a work in progress.”

“Well I’ve given you a great chance.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ateez mentioned something about a party tomorrow, outside the track, and they want me to come. So I convinced them to invite you too, that way you can all break the ice.”

“…”

“You’re welcome.”

“Y/n, this is fucken dangerous!”

“I know, and I’m being careful, alright. I didn’t approach them, they approached me, so that already puts me in a good position to gain their trust.”

“I don’t need you to help me out here.”

“But I can give you an advantage. Why wouldn’t these guys want to show off to some pretty girl? They’ll tell me things without hesitation, and that includes the illegal shit. Someone might just let something slip about those robberies around me, and they wouldn’t even be worried.”

Chan took a moment. “No. No this is too dangerous and you-”

“Please. I don’t want you wasting years of your life in all this. If I can help you gain the trust of the other crews here, or get you some valuable intel, let me.”

“I don’t want you in danger.”

“I’ll be careful, and I’ll stay within my own comfort zone. If I don’t like something, I’ll leave, I promise.”

“Y/n-”

“I promise.”

“Fine… fine, but don’t do anything reckless.”

“I won’t.”

    Even if Chan agreed to let you help him, he was still worried about you. So every now and then he’d check in and ask if you were alright, always reminding you that you could walk away whenever you wanted to. The reassurance was great, but you wanted to stick with him and see all this to the end. Being invited to that party was what really opened the door for both of you. Chan drove you to the place, and you were left in shock. You rolled up to a mansion, music blaring loudly, party lights illuminating the windows, it felt like something out of a movie. For a moment you thought how they could do such a thing without issue, and then remembered the long drive to get out here. There was no one else for miles and miles.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you could make it!”

    Seonghwa and Hongjoong greeted you upon your arrival, big smiles on their faces. Then they acknowledged Chan and the rest of Stray Kids. There was a bit of awkwardness in the air, but you figured some drinks and a party could loosen them all up. The two led you all inside, showing you where to get drinks, and where the entrance to the backyard was. There was a pool and you took note of that for next time.

“Come on, I want to show you around.” 

    Seonghwa took your hand and led you through the house. You knew Chan would probably worry about you, but you had your phone on you, and had promised to leave with him. So you’d see him again later in the night. You were honestly impressed by everything Seonghwa showed you, it was all so extravagant. Although when he led you upstairs you got a bit nervous.

“Should we be going up here?”

“No place is off limits, besides, it’s my house.”

“Wait, this is your place?”

“Yup.” Seonghwa chuckled. “Did you think we rented out a mansion for the party?”

“I… I don’t know… but… it’s huge… I can’t imagine how much it cost.”

“Plus the renovations.”

“Renovations?”

“Trying to increase the value. We’re planning on moving out in the next couple months.”

“Why? Did you find a better place than this?”

“Something like that.”

“Seriously though, how can you afford this? Who even are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Street racing doesn’t pay the bills.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“Wait, do you guys make bets?”

Seonghwa laughed. “Of course. You think the people gather just to look at the pretty cars?”

“I… how much do you bet?”

“In the thousands, tens of thousands, but I do come from a rich family. Most of the racers from the big crews do.”

“Oh, do your parents know what you do?”

“They don’t care about me.” Seonghwa’s voice got somber. “They never did.”

“Neither do mine…”

“You? What kind of family do you come from?”

“An average one. We weren’t wealthy but we lived well. I was a good student, but I guess that was expected of me so my parents never really told me that they were proud… I got into Uni on a full ride, but that was expected too… I honestly did it so I wouldn’t owe them anything…”

“Do you still keep in touch?”

“Not really…”

“Me neither. Not like they’d be proud of me anyway.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“What?”

You giggled. “You’re quite famous in the racing scene, aren’t you? I haven’t seen you behind the wheel yet, but I’m sure you’re great. After all, you’re part of the big eight.”

“You’re funny.”

    Seonghwa brought you into one of the rooms on the second floor, his own, and took you out onto the balcony. You could see the party below, loving the atmosphere from the whole place. It was a nice view.

“This is a good little place to get away.”

“Yup, just the two of us.”

    You didn’t notice at first, but Seonghwa stepped away for a moment to bring over a bottle and two glasses. He poured you and himself a drink.

“Shall we toast?” You asked.

“To what?”

“Well, this may sound silly, but even if no one else is proud of me, I am. So I hope you can be proud of yourself too.”

“Proud?”

“Not everyone can be a street racer, right?” You leaned in close to whisper. “And I’m pretty sure you’ve avoided the police a lot.”

    Seonghwa scoffed and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. His actions caught you by surprise, and when you saw his face you could see a soft little smile on his lips.

“To us.” He raised his glass. “For being proud of ourselves when no one else will.”

“To us!”

    You needed to be mindful not to drink so much. Even if the point of a party is to have fun, you were kinda working here. So you stayed with Seonghwa for a bit, just sticking to one glass and talking. You asked how he got involved in the racing scene, genuinely curious but also trying to get information. He didn’t mind, telling you that at first he had done so to get his parents attention. Buying expensive cars, especially those designed to go fast. It got him nothing, so he thought to get in trouble with the law but that’s when he met Hongjoong. The boy recognized the style of car he had and asked if he could race. At the time the answer was no, but Hongjoong took him under his wing and now here he was.

“You’re such a bad boy.”

“I hear girls are into that.”

“As long as they have a heart of gold.”

“Do I qualify?”

“I’m not sure.”

    You suddenly heard the door open, and you both peeked into the room to see another boy stumbling in. He noticed you two and smiled.

“My bad, looking for the bathroom.”

“On the second floor?” Seonghwa questioned.

“First floor is occupied with a little line.”

“Ah, well my bathroom is right there.”

“Thanks.”

    The boy stumbled his way over to the bathroom. He did seem vaguely familiar to you, so you asked Seonghwa.

“Do you know him?”

“Yeah. That’s Younghoon from The Boyz.”

“The boys?”

“Boyz, with a Z, but yeah. He was racing last night.”

“Oh, yeah, I saw him. The Boyz are a big group.”

“Eleven drivers, although the biggest would be NCT.”

“NCT?”

“It’s rare to see them all on the course, but they got different groups among themselves.”

“Damn… so besides them The Boyz are the biggest?”

“No, that would be Seventeen.”

“There’s a group with seventeen members?”

“No, the group name is Seventeen, but there are thirteen members.”

“Then why are they called Seventeen?”

“I’m not good at explaining, but we can go find one of them and ask.”

“Sure.”

    You liked the idea of socializing, getting to know more people so you’re not so much of an outcast anymore. Although as you were heading out Younghoon came out of the bathroom.

“Hold on, who’s the girl?”

“This is y/n, she’s new on the scene.”

“Makes sense. I haven’t seen such a pretty face. The name’s Younghoon.”

“Nice to meet you. I saw you race yesterday, you’re good.”

“Thanks. If you ever want a ride, just let me know.”

    Younghoon came over to you and took your hand, Seonghwa immediately grabbing your other one. He just made Younghoon laugh as he took out a pen and wrote down his number on your arm and signed his name.

“Call me.”

“I’m sure I will.”

    Seonghwa did end up taking you to meet some of the other drivers, and you may have gotten another handful of drinks along the way. Things did get blurry, but you had pieces of coherence every now and then. You remembered being on the dance floor with Wooyoung and Yeosang for a bit before getting pulled into a drinking game. Then there was the charades after a quick dunk in the pool, you wound up in some of Yunho’s clothes afterward. Although you swear you’ve never had so much fun in one night. As daylight began to peek over the horizon the people began to disperse, but some remained. You wound up slow dancing in the backyard with San for a while before passing out. Of course you weren’t staying over, but you needed to be laid down to rest. You weren’t able to relay that message to Chan, so in the morning he was looking around for you.

“Ya, Hongjoong, have you seen y/n?”

“Uh… she should be upstairs, I think they put her down in Jongho’s room, fifth door on the right.”

“Thanks.”

    Chan made his way upstairs, and gently knocked on the door before opening it. He walked in to find you curled up on the bed, cuddling with Jongho and mumbling.

“You’re like a teddy bear… can I take you home…”

Jongho giggled. “You can just stay with me.”

“Hm… that’s not a bad idea.”

“Y/n, we have to go.” Chan said. “Come on.”

    Jongho helped you up, getting you on your feet and going down with Chan to make sure you were alright. You said your goodbyes to Ateez, and thanked them for the party. You hoped to see them again soon. Chan got you into the back of the car and sat with you, Minho driving and Felix passed out in the passenger seat.

“That was so fun… did you not drink?”

“Someone needed to keep their head.” Chan explained. “Minho and Seungmin didn’t drink either.”

“Boo, next time you should have fun.”

“I see you sure did. What’s with all the phone numbers on your arms?”

“Oh… just gathering intel… I have more numbers on my phone… you can probably do something with them, right?”

“You… how many…” Chan grabbed your arm. “That was dangerous.”

“It wasn’t my idea… Younghoon liked me and gave me his number… then some others wanted to add to it.” You chuckled and started pointing out names. “This is Woozi, oh and here’s Jungwoo, that’s Jaeyoon… Yeonjun wrote his number on my arm somewhere…”

“Did she just do months of work in one night?” Minho questioned. 

“I guess.” Chan commented.

“Some things require a woman’s touch and I have more numbers on my phone.” You added. “Was running out of room on my arms, but Jooheon was happy to be the first to be in my contacts list. Look, he sent me a cute winky face message.”

“You really outdid yourself.”

“Hm… plus I got other things too… a lot of them come from wealthy families… a chaebol here and there… I didn’t know you guys bet money…”

“The illegal stuff isn’t just the racing.”

“How much do you have?”

“Enough to play.”

“You gotta tell me about these things.”

“How about a proper debrief when you’re sober. You should rest, you did a lot tonight.”

“Hm… yeah…”

❤

    After that first party a lot of things changed. Now you were in the loop about the case and the progress that was being made. With the information you gathered you were able to learn more about the racers, and who they were outside the track. Although that created a new issue.

“If these guys are our main suspects, then the question becomes why.” Changbin wondered. “The racing I get. A bunch of bored rich kids having fun, but committing crimes? They already have money, so what’s the point?”

“It’s the thrill.” Minho stated. “To do something illegal and then run away from the cops.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure even if they got caught they’d still walk free. So I ask again, why?”

“Maybe it’s just fun for them.” Jeongin said. “A game they play, or something they do just to see if they can. Like you said there won’t really be any consequences for them.”

“That alone creates a problem for us.” Chan reminded. “If there is no real motive behind these cromes, then there is no pattern to their actions. We can’t really get the upper hand on them, so we’d just have to wait for them to make a mistake. Which isn’t ideal. How are we with checking alibis?” 

“That’s a game in itself.” Jisung sighed. “We’ve got five robberies so far, and a long list of suspects. Thankfully they’re rather public figures so some of their alibis are out in the open.”

“Anybody clear?”

“Not all the way. Some still have no solid alibi for some nights, not to mention we don’t even know how big the group of criminals is.”

“Does anybody stand out to you?”

“Not really…”

“Are we even making progress?” Seungmin asked. “It doesn’t feel like it. I mean we could be completely wrong about these guys.”

“What about style?” You suddenly asked.

“Huh?”

“You told me that you were investigating the street racers cause the drivers at the crime scene were exceptionally good. Most drivers have their own style, or certain things they do behind the wheel. Is there any way you could try to compare the two, and see if anyone matches up?”

“Hm… there isn’t really footage of the illegal racing.” Hyunjin commented. “But if we study the CCTV footage of the car chases, we might be able to do an onsite comparison based on our memory. It could help us narrow down the list and give us a better idea who to focus on. Great idea y/n.”

“Happy to help.”

“You should have been with us from the start.” Felix added. “You’re good at this.”

“Well someone didn’t want me helping.”

“I still don’t really like this.” Chan said. “But you have been a big help, so thanks.”

“No problem.”

    Chan did have to draw the line at the CCTV footage. You could probably find it on the internet yourself, but he wasn’t going to let you look at police evidence. You were fine with that, it would be easier to just get close to some of the racers and see what you could get out of them. So you did just that, going to races when you could, but your education still took priority.

“Y/n! There you are! I didn’t see you last time.”

“I had an exam to study for. Couldn’t risk coming out and getting wasted.”

“You could have let us know you had a curfew.”

“But would you follow it?”

“Maybe…”

“Exactly.” 

    You got along well with all the racers, even those who weren’t in the big eight. Especially considering you were always in their area, considered more one of them than just another spectator in the crowd here to drink and bet. Stray Kids always drove you here and took you home, so you really just had to show up and enjoy yourself. Out of everyone though, Ateez seemed to like you the most, and they’d always find you when you were around.

“You really take school seriously.” 

“Of course. I’m trying to build my life here.”

“Or you could just settle down with me.” Yunho suggested. “I promise I’ll take good care of you.”

“Yeah? Well, I appreciate the offer but I must decline.”

“Come on, why? I’m good looking, I got money, I-”

“I don’t know you.”

“What?”

“Outside this life, I’m not sure who Jeong Yunho is.”

“Then perhaps you should get to know him.”

“Hm…”

“What’s going on over here?” Mingi asked, coming between you two. “Y/n, good to see you, missed you last time. I was racing and really wanted you to ride with me.”

You chuckled. “Some other time then. Although I might pass out. You guys go too fast.”

“That’s part of the thrill.”

“I guess I’ll see one day.”

    You wound up over with Ateez for the night, having a drink and relaxing on the hood of one of their cars. Even out there you could see the stars in the sky. You always enjoyed star gazing, but in a place like this it was far from quiet, and dangerous. You were just talking with San when suddenly you heard yelling, and the sound of sirens in the distance.

“Fuck, it’s the cops. We gotta go.”

“Cops?”

“Come on.”

    Hongjoong grabbed you and pulled you off the hood of the car, shoving you into the backseat. San was already behind the wheel, and once Hongjoong was in the passenger seat you began to move. You could barely sit up properly in the back, the car going so fast so quickly, it made you nervous.

“Can you… like slow down or something…”

“Gotta outrun the cops.” San apologized. “I don’t feel like spending a night in jail, or getting my baby impounded.”

“Alright then…”

“You good back there baby?” Hongjoong asked.

“Yeah… yeah… I didn’t know cars could go this fast…”

“Well hold on tight.”

    Somehow you managed to get your seat belt on, and kept your head low. You were definitely scared but this was also quite exhilarating.

“Do you guys do this often?”

“What? Run from the cops?” San questioned.

“Yeah…”

“Maybe more than most.”

“Those pigs rarely find us racing.” Hongjoong said. “But I guess even they get lucky sometimes.” 

    You almost hit your head a few times on the journey, but when San swerved off the main road into a parking garage without warning, you smashed your face against the headrest of the seat in front of you.

“Y/n! Are you okay!?”

    Hongjoong quickly got out of the car and checked on you, seeing you had a bit of a nosebleed. San had also gotten out, looking into the back.

“Look what you did!”

“We got away, didn’t we!”

“I’m fine.” You assured. “Did I get any blood on your seats?”

“Who cares about that.”

“It’s expensive…”

“Cars can be fixed, can’t say the same about people. Come on, get some fresh air.”

    You got out of the car, San coming over to hand you some tissues to clean up the blood. They were really worried about you, but you were fine. Now that the immediate danger had passed, you found yourself smiling.

“That was insane. You guys really know how to drive. I could never imagine outrunning the cops. I guess it’s not just about being fast.”

“It’s a whole other world behind the wheel.” San said. “Sorry this is how you got a taste.”

“At least I’m not in a jail cell, right?”

“Exactly.”

    You all hung around for about an hour to let the heat die down. Then you drove back to the Ateez house, meeting up with the rest of the crew and a few others who had escaped the police. That’s when you got a call from Chan and told him that you were alright and with Ateez. He said he’d come by to get you, so just wait for him.

“You know you could just stay the night.” Wooyoung suggested. “We got plenty of room for you.”

“I appreciate that, but I have classes in the morning.”

“We can take you.”

“If I show up in one of your dope ass cars, I will get so many questions.”

“Are you not already the center of attention at school?”

“I go to a big university, plenty of other people get more attention than me.”

“Then they’re all blind.” Mingi yelled. “You are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Stop it before I die of embarrassment.”

    You played a few games while you waited around for Chan. Despite their desire for you to stay, you couldn’t, and said you would some other time. You wished the good night and went on your way with Chan. Once you were alone with him you had questions.

“What the hell was that tonight?”

“What?”

“The cops showing up?”

“You think I control all the police? Sometimes they get wind of a race and come to arrest people. Also, not every other cop in the area knows we’re undercover. This was bound to happen.”

“And if I got caught?”

“I would bail you out.”

“Now you say that.”

“Well now you’re part of the team. Besides, a lot of people split up, us included. It was a good opportunity to see what these guys look like driving away from the police.”

“True.”

“Are you okay though? What’s with the blood?”

“Oh, minor nosebleed. I’m fine, just a bit scared by the whole thing.”

“I should have warned you better about that.”

“It’s fine. Made me blend in with my clueless friend cover.”

“So, Ateez again?”

“They like me. Not the best idea to put all my eggs in one basket I know, but if I get close to at least one crew, I can get them to spill tea on the others. You’re still the new ones, but the others might know about the robberies and who’s carrying them out.”

“Perhaps. Just don’t do anything dangerous.”

“I know, I know.”

    Undercover work was more of a night job for you, so during the day you lived your life as normal. You’d text some of the other racers throughout the day, acting like friends, but there wasn’t much else. You thought you could keep these lives separate, but they had other plans.

“Y/n!”

    You were heading off campus to go home when a car honk and your name being called caught your attention. You looked over to see Jongho waving at you excitedly, Seonghwa leaning against the car. Your eyes went wide in surprise, and Jongho hurried over to you.

“Done for the day?”

“I… yeah… how did you find me? I don’t think I ever told you-”

“When you know the right people you can find anyone. Also money, come on, I bet you haven’t eaten yet.”

“Oh, well-”

“The others are waiting.”

    You couldn’t argue with Jongho as he took your hand and led you to the car. There really was no way to say no, so you went along. They took you to a restaurant, meeting up with the rest of Ateez there. The boys were happy to see you, asking about your day and listening intently. The restaurant you were at was quite fancy, and there weren’t even prices on the menu. They of course told you not to worry, that everything was on them and you should just enjoy yourself.

“What do you guys even do with your free time? Don’t you all have lives?”

“Is that meant to be an insult?” Yunho questioned.

“No, no, of course not. I just… you all had some time today to take me out to dinner. One or two of you would make sense, but all eight of you? What do you do when you’re not behind the wheel?”

“Whatever we want.” Wooyoung said. “Watch TV, go out into town, shop, legally drive.”

“All of you?”

“More or less.” Hongjoong added. “And we hang out with each other.”

“Don’t you have… family responsibilities? Some of you-”

“Not really.” Seonghwa cut in. “Our parents rarely see us as a good fit for anything.”

“Oh… sorry… I didn’t mean to pry… I’m a bit jealous though, about the freedom you have.”

“Jealous?”

“You do as you please everyday, no financial worries, or worries about what your future will look like. It can be whatever you want, and you can change your mind at any time.”

“You’re talking about stability.” Jongho corrected. “Which isn’t out of reach for you, or anyone. You’re studying and making plans for your future. One day you’ll have your career and everything you could want.”

“But there’s no guarantee for me. You guys were born with stability… I have to try…”

“Does it worry you that much?” Mingi asked. “Your future?”

“Yeah…”

“But you’re so young. There’s still so much life for you. Studying and making plans, it sounds like where you’re supposed to be. It’s rare to have everything put together at your age.”

“I guess…”

“Hey, let’s just focus on today.” Yeosang said. “We’re all together sharing a meal, and each other’s company. You always gotta enjoy the little things.”

“You’re right about that.”

    They all shifted the topic over to happier things, ultimately picking up your mood. Dinner wasn’t the only plan for the night. So you wound up with drinks and karaoke, letting the time split away in a haze of joy. You don’t know when you finally left, but you didn’t go home. 

“Is there a party at your place tonight?”

“No. Do you want there to be?” San asked. 

“No… nobody else needs to come.”

“No? How come?”

“Cause I want you all to myself.”

    You vaguely remembered being drunk in the back of a car with San. You were leaning against, your breath against his neck, and he was looking at you like you were the only thing in the world. His eyes lingered on your lips, and he couldn’t help himself. San leaned in to kiss you, and you kissed back. The two of you got closer, deepening the kiss, and then you roughly got pulled away.

“I want a turn.”

    Wooyoung tasted differently, but his kiss was just as deep. San wasn’t just going to sit back, coming in close, his lips against your neck. You’ve never really had attention like that before, so you were quite happy.

“Take it easy back there.” Yunho commented. “Don’t distract me.”

“Keep your eyes on the road.” Mingi stated. “We’ll get a turn later.”

    When the car came to a stop Wooyoung and San were pulled away from you. Next thing you knew Yunho was helping you out and then carrying you in his arms.

“You’re not drunk.”

“I had to drive, remember?”

“Hm… that’s sad…”

“I can drink now that we’re home.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you drink with me?”

“Sure. I can go for another round.”

“Ya, ya.” Hongjoong interrupted. “We’re not trying to give you alcohol poisoning, baby. No more drinks for you.”

“Come on… need even orange juice?”

“Juice is fine, but nothing alcoholic.”

“Yes captain!”

    You giggled and held on to Yunho, going into the house and to the kitchen. He set you down on the counter, getting a glass and some bottles. You reached for one but Yeosang took it from you.

“What did we say?”

“I just wanted to pour Yunho a drink.”

“Hm… I can do that.”

“Okay.”

    Yeosang gave you a chaste kiss on your cheek. He had a few drinks with Yunho, and you enjoyed your juice. You couldn’t really keep up with the conversation, but they found your babbling cute. You didn’t know how long you stayed up, but more came to join in, and you could vaguely remember the soft kisses and hands all over your body. It all felt so nice you never wanted it to end, but your body had to tap out at some point.

❤

“Hm…”

    You took in a soft breath as you came to, stretching your limbs while in bed, slowly waking up. When you opened your eyes the peace of the morning was shot down. You didn’t recognize the room you were in, which means you weren’t home. You quickly got out of bed, only to stumble to the ground, your legs a bit shaky. You weren’t in your own clothes either, instead wearing your panties and an oversized shirt, no bra either.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

    Wasn’t hard to imagine what had happened. You looked around the room, finding some pants, they fit well enough, and some shoes to put on. None of this was your own but you needed to move. Thankfully your phone was on the nightstand, and you started looking into calling yourself a ride. You carefully peeked out the room, seeing the empty hall. By now there was no doubt where you were. It was the Ateez house, and you could not remember last night.

“Morning.”

    You were creeping down the hall when you heard a voice and immediately froze. You slowly turned around, giving Mingi a shy wave.

“Hi…”

“You’re just in time for breakfast, come on.”

“I should really get going though… uh, where are my clothes?”

“In the dryer. You spilled some juice on yourself.”

“Oh… right…”

“You don’t remember?”

“Last night’s a blur for me right now… and I don’t-”

“We didn’t do anything.”

“Huh?”

“We didn’t fuck you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I… I…”

“Not that we wouldn’t, but we’d rather you be sober.”

“Oh…”

“We did kiss you up and down though.”

“Uh…”

“Come on, breakfast.”

    Mingi took your hand and led you downstairs to the dining room. The other boys greeted you, Seonghwa and Yunho setting up the table.

“Can I help with anything?”

“Just take a seat, we got this.” Seonghwa smiled.

“Thanks…”

    Everything smelled so good, and you were quite amazed by the fact they could cook. Yeosang and Jongho served you, making sure you got the best of everything.

“Are you feeling alright?” Hongjoong asked. “I got some hangover soup for you if you need it.”

“I’m okay, not as bad as I could be.”

“I’m glad.”

“So then… this is dumb… but you all really live here together?”

“Yeah, our shared space away from responsibilities and family and all that nonsense.” Wooyoung said. “You’re more than welcome to move in, we’d love to have you.”

“Oh no, I doubt I could pay rent for a place like this. Besides, Seonghwa told me you guys were planning to move soon.”

“Right… forgot about that…”

“Besides… last night… why didn’t you take me home?”

“Cause you were drunk.” Yunho explained. “We couldn’t just leave you alone. You’re also assuming we know where you live.”

“Right… sorry…”

“We do, but it’s more about you being alone.”

“You were also sucking face with San and Wooyoung,” Mingi added. “So it’d be mean to send you home alone.”

You felt your face start to burn. “Uh… I… um…”

“Don’t tease her.” Jongho said. “Last night was enough fun for everyone.”

“I hear venom in those words.” San chuckled. “Is it cause she was in my room and not yours?”

“Watch it.”

“That’s not how you speak to your hyung.”

“Guys, calm down.” Yeosang stated. “Can we just enjoy breakfast together?”

“Fine.”

“Good. Y/n, I’ll take you home after this.”

“Ya! No fair!”

You giggled. “Thanks, Yeosang.”

    After breakfast your clothes were dry, so you were good to go. The boys packed you some hangover cures, but of course San and Wooyoung tagged along to drop you off.

“Thanks for last night, it was a lot of fun, even if somethings are hazy.”

“No problem, just let us know if you need anything.” Yeosang assured. “Get some rest.”

“You too.”

    It was certainly strange to spend time with Ateez outside of the racing, and parties, but it was also nice. Outside of being suspects in a criminal case, they were good people and their heart seemed to be in the right place. You didn’t tell Chan about this, knowing he’d be worried about you spending time with Ateez unsupervised. The problem is this wasn’t a one time thing. You began to see Ateez more often. Some would come by for lunch, or find you around campus and just spend time with you. Little by little, visit by visit, they felt more like friends than anything else. Although you couldn’t hide it forever. The chemistry that others would see at the track spoke for itself.

“Y/n.”

“Hm?”

“Can we talk?”

“Sure.”

    You had been spectating a race with Hongjoong when Chan came over, pulling you away. You went over to his area, getting into one of his cars. The windows were tinted, and he put on some music to fill the silence.

“What’s up? I don’t think we should be talking-”

“What’s going on between you and Ateez?”

“Uh… well…”

“All of a sudden you seem real close to them.”

“I did say it was a good idea to get close with one group and see-”

“How close?”

“What?”

“Have you slept with them?”

“Chan!”

“I’m serious. Socializing and gathering information is one thing, but if you’ve crossed a line-”

“I cannot believe you’d ask this!”

“These guys are suspected criminals!”

“And when was the last time a robbery was committed? What if your crew moved on and you’re all just here driving in circles? Did you think about that?!”

“Y/n, these people are dangerous, criminals or not, and I don’t want you getting so mixed up with them.”

“Well I’m not sleeping with them, okay? And these guys are just normal people! Just cause your suspected criminals are good drivers, doesn’t mean they do this illegal street racing stuff. Maybe they’re normal race car drivers, have you looked into that? Or maybe they don’t race at all besides the-”

“Enough!”

“…”

“I’m taking you home, and I want you out of my case, understood?”

“You’re unbelievable!”

“Am I clear!”

“Crystal! And I’ll take myself home!”

    Before Chan could yell some more you got out of the car, slamming the door. You stormed off, heading out of the VIP area and into the regular crowd. You just needed to get to the main road and could get a ride from there.

“Y/n-”

“Leave me-”

    While you were on the move you suddenly felt someone grab your arm. You quickly yanked yourself free, beginning to yell but stopping when you realized it was Mingi.

“Sorry, I didn’t… sorry…”

“Are you alright? I saw you storming off and leaving the race course.”

“I’m just not feeling well, so I’m heading home early.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear. I can take you home, it’d be better-”

“No, it’s alright.”

“I insist. I don’t like the idea of you going home alone at this hour.”

“Mingi-”

“Please. Maybe we should get some ice cream first.”

You chuckled. “That’s not a bad idea.”

    You went with Mingi, waiting for him as he brought his car around. He was serious about the ice cream, finding a place still open and getting you a sweet treat.

“Are you seriously okay?”

“Well I’m feeling better now.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s nothing really. It’s just… Chan really doesn’t like me being around all this stuff… the racing and all that…”

“Does he not like us?”

“Honestly… I don’t think he does…”

“I get your childhood friends, but you’re your own person, and capable of making your own decisions.”

“I know, he knows, but he still worries.”

“I would too. So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know… but I have a lot to think about.”

    You stayed with Mingi for a while, small conversations and silence, just appreciating his company. Looking back you probably shouldn’t have yelled at Chan like that, but thinking about that whole conversation frustrated you all over again. Maybe you both overreacted, or it was just you. Either way you weren’t sure what you should do, for now you just wanted to ignore everything, and Mingi knew that. So instead of taking you home as he said, he took you back to his own place. Telling you it was probably best to go somewhere Chan wouldn’t find you immediately, giving you both some proper space.

    You thanked Mingi for his thoughtfulness, and ultimately passed out in his room. He had informed the rest of his crew that you were in the house so they wouldn’t be surprised when they got home. Also to ease any worries if anyone asked about you, not that they would say where you were. The boys were happy to see you in the morning, acting like you had stayed over and not talking about the night prior. You were grateful for that, remembering that Ateez were just as much your friends as Chan and the rest of Stray Kids were. You could make your own decisions about the company you kept.

“Y/n, your birthday is coming up.”

“What? How did you-”

“It’s us.” Yunho smiled. “How could we not know?”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“So, got any plans?”

“Uh, well, not really, haven’t thought about it. My friends usually throw me a semi-surprise party.”

“How about this year you spend it with us?” Seonghwa suggested. “We’ll throw you a big party right here.”

“Yeah! We’ll invite everyone, and have a big cake, and lots of presents.” Wooyoung added. “It’ll be great!”

“I don’t know…”

“It’ll be fun, the best birthday party ever.” Yeosang said. “If you want that is, we won’t push it, but you should let us treat you for your special day too.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“A big party would be way more fun.” San mentioned. “So think hard about it.”

“I-”

    Your phone started ringing, halting the conversation. When you looked at the caller ID you saw it was Chan, getting nervous. You got up and stepped away from the table, going into the room next over.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m at your place, could you let me in? So we can talk?”

“Uh… about that… I’m not home right now…”

“Not… where are you?”

“Just… uh, just a friend’s place.”

“Friend? Don’t tell me you’re with Ateez?”

“And if I am?”

“What did we talk about last night?”

“We didn’t talk, you yelled at me.”

“Cause I’m worried about you being alone with these guys. Suspects or not, they are not a good influence on you.”

“And you are? Look at the company you keep.”

“That’s part of-”

“Whatever. I’m going home now anyway, please don’t be there when I arrive.”

    You hung up without waiting to hear him speak. You were already upset about last night, and this wasn’t helping.

“You okay?”

“Huh?”

“You didn’t sound too happy.” Hongjoong admitted, having followed you. “Everything alright?”

“I guess. I have to get home, so thanks for breakfast.”

“I’ll drop you off, your house, promise this time.”

“Fine.”

    It was better to get a ride than to call for one. No one else tagged along this time, as Hongjoong didn’t let them. He took you home as he said, although when you got there you noticed Chan’s car, meaning he was waiting for you.

“Y/n?”

“You know what, let’s have that party.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup.”

“Great. We’ll take care of everything, so don’t worry. We’ll pick you up on your special day.”

“Thanks.”

“Take care.”

“You too.”

    You thanked Hongjoong for the ride, going up to your apartment. As you feared Chan was there waiting for you. There was silence between you until you were both inside.

“You were supposed to go home last night.”

“Mingi had other ideas. Took me out for ice cream first, and I didn’t want to come back here.”

“You could have let me know.”

“And have you show up at their place in the morning? No thanks.”

“Look, about last night. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry. I worry about you getting involved with them and if-”

“That’s the key word, if. Look, I get Ateez is on your list of suspects, and all I’m doing is gathering information. I don’t intend to stay friends with them if they’re found guilty, or not. This is just part of the job, right?”

“Except it was never your job to take on.”

“I volunteered for this, so you don’t bear the responsibility here.”

“I let you, so I do. And I was serious about you stepping away.”

“And how exactly do you think I should do that? All those guys know me, they like me.”

“Just tell them you’re focusing on school. Distance yourself and I’m sure they’ll just forget.”

“I guess…”

“Are we good?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. I’ll get going then, since I know you didn’t want to see me right now.”

“Bingo. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

    Of course you didn’t entirely listen to Chan. You knew he had a point, and you didn’t exactly lie when you said you’d cut ties with these people once the job was done. That wasn’t now though. They were your friends and you wanted to maintain the relationship. Especially considering what happened. A few days later it was on the news. A robbery had taken place, and this time the criminals had left behind a message. You rushed over to Chan’s place once you saw the news. He didn’t want to share information, but he couldn’t stop you once you were through the door.

“So you have a name now?”

“Yes. The graffiti left behind was a black flag with a skull and crossbones along with a name, the Black Pirates.”

“So that’s who’s been behind the last few robberies.”

“It seems so.”

“And for your information, they are street racers.” Minho added. “So you were spot on about comparing the driving styles.”

“Really? Who do they match?”

“The juries still out on that, but the way they moved is similar to what we’ve seen in the races.”

“We also got a number this time.” Felix stated. “From what the cameras picked up before they got taken out there seems to be eight pirates.”

“Eight? So wouldn’t that rule out the smaller groups like Mons-”

“Not exactly.” Jeongin cut in. “Just cause we saw eight this time, doesn’t mean there’s always been eight.”

“But it would make sense. There’s always been two getaway cars.”

“There could be some members of the Black Pirates that don’t participate in illegal street racing.” Hyunjin explained. “Or vice versa, given there are groups with more than eight members, like NCT. They could alternate depending on the hit, or have outside help.”

“So we don’t really have much.”

“We know we’re looking in the right place.” Seungmin said. “Now it’s just about finding the evidence, and catching the culprit.”

“So it is progress.”

“Any bit is better than none.”

    That was good to hear, even if this whole operation was now months in. At least they knew that this wasn’t all a waste and they were on the right track. That in itself must be a huge relief to them, for you too actually. You may not really understand the danger, especially when they first started. Surely getting in must have been a lot of trouble on its own. Still, you had your own things to focus on. It was your special day after all, and you were quite excited. Your friends usually threw you a party, which meant you needed to tell them about this year’s plans. You were going to, but when you brought up your birthday they said they got the invites already.

    Apparently Ateez had already invited all your friends, and they were very excited about the party this year. They had lots of questions regarding your new friends, but promised to bother you about it later because today was your day. Classes weren’t that difficult, and you planned to go home and get dressed, but there were other plans. As you were making your way off campus you were surprised to find Mingi and Yunho waiting for you. There were already plans in place for your special day, and that started with some shopping. You should premiere a new outfit at your party, and they were gonna take care of everything.

    You couldn’t really say no, even once you saw the price tags. They took you to some high class stores, places you’d never shop at normally. At first Mingi tried to hide the price tags from you, telling you to pick what you liked, but you couldn’t help it. You thought you were dreaming when you saw the zeroes, but they told you money wasn’t a problem. Took a lot of coaxing, and they told you this was basically your present. They wanted you to look nice, for your beauty to shine, and it would be unfair to deny them that. So you caved, and looked only at the styles and found something you liked.

    The boys had you walk out in your new outfit, and had a few others to change into later in the night. From there you went over to the house, and you were left in awe as you stood at the front door. The place was mostly decorated, some people still working on the final touches, but it looked insane. Everything practically screamed Happy Birthday at you, and it honestly felt so surreal. The rest of the boys came over to give you birthday wishes and ask you how everything looked. It was incredible already. The snacks and food laid out on the tables, all the party games they had scattered around the house too. You had never been to such a party. Even the previous events they had before was nothing compared to this.

“I have to ask… you invited my friends… how did you get their numbers?”

“We just borrowed your phone for a bit.” Yeosang admitted.

“When?”

“Sometime ago.”

“But-”

“That’s not the concern right now. If you have anything more to do to get ready, go ahead.” Seonghwa suggested. “You can use my room.”

    Seonghwa took your shopping bags and led you up to his place. It was still early so the party wouldn’t be starting soon. You were pretty much ready to go aside from some makeup, but you held off on that. Since you had time you worked on homework, wanting to have one less thing to worry about so you could truly enjoy the night. Of course if Ateez caught you they’d probably say something, but this was for your own benefit. Thankfully you finished your assignments just as you heard music blasting through the house.

    Wooyoung was the one to bring you down to the party. Even if you didn’t know a lot of the guests, they all seemed to know you were the birthday girl. So you got many birthday wishes, more than ever before. When your friends showed up they were so excited to see you, and everything else that was going on for you. They couldn’t believe such a party had been thrown for you, and graciously thanked the boys of Ateez for their generosity. You were a bit embarrassed, but you could dwell on those feelings some other time. The night went on, and you spent lots of time with your friends. It almost felt like you were at a club more than anything, and with no worries about creeps bothering you. 

“Mind if I steal a dance?” San whispered in your ear, joining you on the dance floor. “You look smokin.”

“You tell me this now?”

“Well, I can say it again and again if you need me to.”

“Hm, that sounds nice.”

“Or…”

“Or?”

“How about I give you your birthday present?”

“Present? Isn’t that after the cake?”

“You can have my present first.”

“Hm…”

“Come on.”

    San took your hand and apologized to your friends as he was going to borrow you for a while. They all smiled and gave you thumbs up, waving you off. You were quite curious as to what kind of present San had for you. It could quite possibly be anything. So when he led you down to the garage, you were starting to think he bought you a car. That would be insane, and you wouldn’t even know what to do with it. Although things quickly changed when you saw someone else.

“There’s the birthday girl.” Wooyoung waved, sitting on the hood of a car. “You ready for your present?”

“Yeah. You guys got me a car?”

“What? No, this is one of our race cars.”

“Oh… then… what’s my present?”

“Us.”

“You?”

“We figured tonight we should give you a present you won’t forget.”

    Wooyoung opened the back door of the car, San leading you over to it. He had you lay back and then he climbed on top of you. Although you put your hands on his chest to stop him.

“You want to do this… in your car?”

“Well, I want it to smell like you. That way you’re with us the next time we use it, even if not physically.”

“Oh… well you guys are certainly something else.”

“If you don’t want to, just say so.”

“This is my birthday present, isn’t it? I want to receive it in full.”

“As you wish, princess.”

    You had never done it in a car before, but San seemed to have some experience. It made you a bit jealous, but it was all to make sure you enjoyed yourself tonight. Of course Wooyoung was still there, waiting his turn. He was sitting in the driver’s seat, watching you from the rear view mirror and stroking his length, only allowed to imagine himself on top of you for now. On occasion you’d make eye contact with him, and you could see the lust in his eyes. He might not even let San finish and just go over and yank him off you, but he was a patient boy. 

    You on the other hand, not so much since San being proper with his prep work. When he finally gave it to you, relief washed over your face. He stretched you out so good, like it was a perfect fit, but since he had already prepped you, he didn’t give you the satisfaction of feeling him whole and started moving. Obscenities spilled from your lips as you grabbed onto whatever you could, letting him take control.

“Fuck, fuck, San…”

“Just take it like a good girl. I know you can.”

“Hm…”

“Don’t fuck her brains out.” Wooyoung commented. “I get my turn after you.”

“She’s the birthday girl, and deserves the best, so I’ma give it to her.”

    He wasn’t wrong there, giving you everything he had. At times you swear you saw white, and he put all his attention into your pleasure. He was adamant about holding out and making you cum first, which he succeeded in. Your body shook underneath him as your orgasm took over, your center squeezing him tightly and forcing him to spill his seed inside you. San had been trying to hold out but he couldn’t deny you in the moment.

“Fuck, y/n, you feel so tight.”

“Aw, fuck, that’s not fair.” Wooyoung whined. “That should be me.”

“Did you make a mess in the front?” San asked. “Seriously?”

“You made a mess in the back.”

“Not alone.”

“Stop bragging. It’s my turn anyway.”

    In a matter of seconds Wooyoung had gotten out of the car and went over to the back. He pulled San’s pants up and shoved him to the side, wanting to get a good look at you.

“So pretty.”

“Hm.”

    Wooyoung gently caressed your cheek, his hands then trailing down your body. You were so sensitive at the moment, the slightest touch made you shiver. He loved the goofy smile on your face, clearly still high.

“You ready for more baby girl?”

“Will you be gentle?”

Wooyoung chuckled. “No.”

“Good.”

    That was all he needed to get started. Wooyoung dipped his fingers into your sloppy center, scooping up some of San’s seed and using it to write his name out on your stomach.

“I think we forgot to ask, but are you taking anything? Or is San gonna become a daddy?”

“I’m okay, you’re the only daddy I need tonight.”

“Fuck, baby girl, keep talking like that and I’m gonna make you a mommy.”

“Bet.”

    Wooyoung wasn’t gonna wait around much longer, angling himself perfectly and grabbing your hips before thrusting into the mess between your legs. You were still so sensitive, so his rough movements made you shake all over again. You bit your lip as the last bits of your previous orgasm fluttered through your body, and then got replaced by Wooyoung’s actions. He wasn’t San, but he had his own way of making you feel good. He took advantage of your state too, rubbing your clit and groping your breasts to divide your attention. He had all kinds of signals going off in your brain.

“You’re such a good fuck.”

“Hm… more…”

“I know, baby, I got you.”

    Wooyoung pulled you closer, getting relentless as your words motivated him to do better. He wanted to watch you unravel beneath him, and the desire was taking over. You didn’t notice when San had gotten himself together, but he had gone to the other side of the car and looked down on you. Although Wooyoung tried to push him away, especially when San started kissing you. It didn’t work though as he kept coming back, even when Wooyoung scolded him. Still, he could only really focus on you, wanting to make you scream his name, which is exactly what he got. You grabbed his arm tightly, mumbling out for him to go faster and make you cum. Your words excited him and he gave you just that, holding your face with his free hand as you climaxed.

    He watched your lips tremble, eyes roll back in ecstasy, knowing he was the reason for your actions. That, and feeling you hug him so tight, was enough to push him over the edge. Wooyoung locked eyes with you, wanting to ride out his high while he made your body tremble, watching everything you did. Your smile filled him with such satisfaction, he leaned down to kiss you, lips then trailing down your body. With two orgasms under your belt you were quite tired, and sore, and far more sensitive than before. Wooyoung stayed with you for a moment before pulling out, giving you some more chaste kisses. He gently pulled up your legs, trying to make sure you were comfortable, and San got into the back so you could rest your head in his lap. Thankfully you weren’t cold, even if you were partially undressed. The heat from their love was enough to keep you warm.

“You good?” San asked while petting your head. “Did you like your present?”

“… yeah… so good…”

“We’re glad to hear.”

“We should have bounced her on the stick shift.” Wooyoung commented from the driver’s seat. “Before we filled her up. Would have made it all the more special.”

“Next time perhaps, what do you say, y/n?”

“Hm…”

    You stayed semi curled up for a while, just letting your body wind down after all that fun. Although you couldn’t stay there long. You had shut your eyes, partially falling asleep, only to open them wide at the sound of knocking on the roof of the car. You looked over and found Yunho peeking in and taking you in.

“What’s this?”

“She was receiving her gifts.” San stated. “And she’s very happy with them.”

“Is that so?”

“Hm.” You hummed in agreement.

“Well, can the birthday girl come up for cake?”

“Cake?”

“We can’t cut the cake without you, everyone’s waiting.”

“Uh…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you and it’ll be quick.”

    Yunho helped you sit up and get your clothes back on. He didn’t comment on the mess between your legs but he did help you clean up a bit. It wouldn’t be good to have cum running down your leg while everyone sang happy birthday to you. Once you were presentable you got out of the car, only to realize your legs were shaky. Yunho effortlessly picked you up in his arms bridal style.

“I’ll take you up.”

“Thanks.”

    You were a bit shy, but you couldn’t object to this. Yunho carried you upstairs to the party, taking you outside to where the cake had been brought out. Everyone cheered when you arrived, Jongho lighting the candles on the cake, one of many actually. Yunho gently put you down, and allowed you to use him to support yourself. Everyone got quiet and then the singing began. You had never heard so many people sing before, let alone with such excitement in their voice. You took a moment to make a wish and then blew out the candles. More cheers erupted, the cake began to get cut, and then everything went dark. One moment you were receiving hugs and good wishes, and then you had cake in your face.

    You laughed as you wiped icing off your face, seeing Jongho with an empty plate of cake, and a revealing smile on his face. You quickly grabbed him and pressed messy kisses to his face, getting him covered in cake too. He seemed to enjoy it, although you couldn’t stay that way. As the initial excitement calmed down, Yeosang led you and Jongho upstairs to clean up. You wound up in his room, and even though you tried to clean yourself up, he suggested getting in the shower. It wasn’t a bad idea, especially considering the type of gift you had received already. So you didn’t hesitate to take your top off, leaving Yeosang and Jongho in shock.

“What? It’s not anything you haven’t seen before.”

“I… I…” Jongho mumbled. “Yeah, but I didn’t think you were so bold.”

“Neither did I.”

“I’ll get you some clean clothes.” Yeosang offered. “I’ll be back.”

    You went into the bathroom and stripped off the rest of your clothes, hopping into the tub. You took a quick shower just to clean yourself up, and get any sugar out of your hair. When you finished you stepped out with a towel wrapped around you, even though you had your bra and panties beneath. Yeosang handed you some clothes, and once you were dressed Jongho cleaned himself up. It wasn’t as much as you so he just needed to wash his face.

“Cleaned up already?”

    Seonghwa softly knocked and entered the room with a plate of cake, happy to see you were alright. He would probably scold Jongho but you told him to leave it alone, surely someone else would cake your face.

“You guys really went all out for me.”

“Of course, it’s your birthday. You should be celebrated to the maximum.”

“I really appreciate everything you guys have done for me today.”

“Well the night is still young. Here, you should enjoy some cake.”

    Seonghwa was happy to feed you, and the cake was quite good too. Although you were getting icy all over your lips. Seonghwa was gonna reach over and wipe it off when Yeosang grabbed his hand and decided to kiss you, cleaning up the icing along the way.

“Yummy.”

“Ya!” Seonghwa yelled. “You can’t just go around kissing her!”

“Why not? I heard WooSan already gave her a present too.”

“What?”

“Yeah, they went down to the garage.” Jongho added. “I bet they made a mess.”

“The garage, is that true?”

“Uh… well…” You were a bit shy, trying to hide your face. “Yes…”

“I see… did you like it?”

“It was… nice…”

“I didn’t know you were such a bad girl.”

“What?”

“You’re supposed to get presents after cake, not before.”

“Oh, well… I didn’t-”

“Since you’ve had cake now. I suppose I can give you my present too.”

“Sure. What did you get me?”

“A very unique gift.”

    Seonghwa put down the plate and grabbed your hand. He kissed it softly and then led it down to rest on his crotch. Your eyes went wide and you looked up at him, feeling more shy than before. He just smirked.

“What? You think I don’t know what those two troublemakers did? There are cameras everywhere, baby.”

“Oh…”

“No need to be shy. Although I understand you might be a bit tired, I’ll take good care of you though.”

“Ah, well…”

“All of us.” Yeosang added.

“Huh?”

“Did you think we were just gonna leave you with Seonghwa? That’s hardly fair.”

“So all three of you…”

“Can you handle us?” Jongho questioned. “It’s okay if you can’t, we’ll teach you.”

“You guys are being too much.”

“It’s only fair. The birthday girl has to get the best for her special day.”

    Seonghwa leaned in close to kiss your cheek before taking the plate and setting it down on the dresser. Yeosang had you move up and lay back on the bed. The clothes you were wearing were loose fitting and easy to remove, leaving you in your undergarments.

“You’re all being very bold tonight.”

“We have been waiting for this too.”

“Really? You must have been so frustrated.”

“You have no idea.”

    Yeosang was pushed to the side as Seonghwa climbed on top of you, stealing a kiss and tasting cake on your lips. His hands explored your body, ultimately pushing up your bra to feel your breasts. He had been holding himself together, but he couldn’t keep doing that. Seonghwa began to undress, getting you out of the last bits of clothes you had on too. Now that you were completely exposed he began pressing kisses all over your chest and lower stomach. Your focus was solely on him until a shirtless Yeosang crawled onto the bed and started kissing your hand. He made you giggle, which brought a smile to his lips.

    Although Seonghwa wasn’t happy about your attention elsewhere, so he got it back the only way he sought fit. You let out a ragged moan as Seonghwa pushed a finger into you without warning. Your eyes shot down at him, seeing the big smirk on his face. You didn’t need that much prep, still recovering from the car sex. Which worked in your favor as you didn’t have to wait too long for Seonghwa to fuck you. He was still a tease though, going slow with his fingers, pressing long kisses on your clit, making you whine at every point. You couldn’t play his game for long.

“Seonghwa you better fuck me soon or Yeosang can go first.”

“Don’t make threats like that.”

“It’s my birthday, isn’t it? What I say goes.”

“Tsk. I like a dominant woman, but tonight you’re at my mercy.”

    Maybe you should be careful what you wish for. Seonghwa grabbed your hips tightly, pressing on the bruises that were forming thanks to Wooyoung, and swiftly pushed his length into you. He could have teased you, but since you asked for it, he was gonna give it to you, every last bit. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you gripped the bed sheets.

“Fuck…”

“You wanted it.”

“Yeah… keep going…”

“Oh I will.”

    Seonghwa started off gentle, wanting to let your body adjust, but he wasn’t gonna be a tease for long. Before you knew it he was going at a relentless pace, making your whole body move with him. He wanted you to himself and pushed Yeosang away, holding your hands in his and watching you with lust in his eyes. You tried to keep your eyes on him, but whenever he hit your sweet spot you couldn’t help but shut your eyes in bliss and tremble.

“You like that?”

“Hm…”

    You were close, and you could tell he was too as he was losing his rhythm. It was a bit funny to think you had cleaned yourself up only to wind up with your legs spread so soon. You were gonna get filled up, which reminded you to mention it. Although Seonghwa said he knew, having been listening in to your previous session.

“Pervert.” Jongho commented.

“As if you’re not gonna go look up the security footage later.”

“Shut up.”

    Seonghwa leaned in for a deep kiss as he kept his momentum going, freeing his hands from your grip and using them to play with you and push you over the edge. Your orgasm seemed to push him over the edge and he held you close as you both rode out the high together. He pressed his forehead against yours, the two of you breathless but with smiles on your faces.

“You good?”

“Never better.” You exhaled. “Although I’m not your first.”

“But you can be my last.”

“Hm…”

“Move over!” Yeosang shoved Seonghwa off you. “My fucken turn.”

“Ya! I wasn’t-”

“She’s so delicate right now I wanna take advantage.”

    You barely even heard the end of Yeosang’s statement before he pushed himself into you, making the cum in you overflow. He let out a delightful moan as your body trembled and accommodated him among the mess. You gripped the sheets, letting out a shaky moan. You were still coming down from your high when Yeosang took over, making it so pleasure and pain began mixing. His hands trailed your body, kneading your breasts and taking them into his mouth on occasion. You reached over to feel his body, looking down as well to see where you two met. You never had this much fun before, and this was surely the best birthday present ever.

“You still with me, princess?”

“Yeah… I’m trying…”

“Trying?” Jongho questioned. “You’re barely halfway done here.”

“You jealous?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

“Then be a good boy and wait.”

    They’d each have a turn but they really didn’t like losing your attention. While you had been talking with Jongho, Yeosang slowed down, making you whimper. He didn’t move, forcing you to grind down on him for your own satisfaction. Then without warning he started back up again, grabbing your hips, which were definitely gonna be purple tomorrow. He was just a tad bit upset and now really taking it out on you. So it wasn’t long before another orgasm washed over you, making you shake and hold him tightly, which ultimately pushed him over the edge too.

“Fuck, you’re so good… we should do it again.”

“You’ve had your turn, hyung.” Jongho commented. 

“Let the maknae have their fun too.” Seonghwa added. “If not for them we might not have gotten here.”

“So I wasn’t gonna get my present if not for Jongho?”

“Oh you would have gotten it one way or another.”

    Jongho did give you a minute to rest and recover, laying down at your side and taking your hand in his, kissing it gently. He looked so dreamy with you, and his eyes were so big and bright. You couldn’t imagine what he had in store for you.

“Are you enjoying your party?”

“For the bits I’ve been in, yeah.”

“That’s good.”

    Jongho started off slow and soft, knowing you were definitely sensitive. He carefully rolled on top of you, pressing soft kisses against your skin, making you feel very loved. 

“Will you be alright?”

“Yeah… just be yourself.”

“If you can handle it.”

“I can.”

“Then I’ll test you on it.”

    You laid with him for a while as he continued to pepper you with kisses. His touch would send sparks up your body, and when his lips finally reached your core you ran a hand through his hair. It was swollen and achy down there, but his gentle touch was soothing. You were lost in his softness that you didn’t notice when he was getting himself ready until you felt him pushing into you. He gave it to you inch by inch, holding your legs apart, watching your mouth hang open in silent bliss.

“I got you baby girl.”

    Jongho held your hands, rocking back and forth softly. You moved with him, eyes shut and soft whimpers escaping your lips. He was a different kind of good, and you didn’t expect his strength. He slowed down a bit, picking you up in his arms and thrusting up into you. More soft moans escaped your lips into his ear, giving him strength and motivation. You wrapped your arms around him, using all your strength to hold on. He took care of the rest and managed to wring another orgasm out of you. He loved how you melted in his arms, and he could feel every little movement of your body as it was overwhelmed with pleasure.

    Jongho pressed a kiss to your cheek, laying you back down on the bed and gently teasing you before he reached his own climax. This time he pressed his lips to yours, holding your hands tightly and riding out his own orgasm while feeding into yours. As you both caught your breath he laid beside you, still holding your hand. The other two had joined you in bed as well, all of you together in a little pile. You could feel the aches and bruises starting to form but you paid them no mind, still very happy with the overall experience. 

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks…”

    You felt like you had probably fallen asleep for a bit, rightfully so. You awoke to the sounds of vibrating, sleepily sitting up and looking around. You were still in Yeosang’s room, and weren’t entirely alone. Yeosang and Jongho were still with you, taking a nap too, but Seonghwa was gone. Regardless, your focus shifted to the vibrating noise, looking around the room. You got out of bed, legs a bit shaky, but you found the source, your phone. You were still half asleep, but once you saw the caller ID you were wide awake. The spike of adrenaline gave you the energy to put on a shirt and joggers and step out of the room to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, where are you?”

“Oh, you know, out with friends. It’s my birth-”

“Where? I didn’t get an invite to the party.”

“You didn’t? I would have thought-”

“Y/n, please stop lying to me.”

“Wa… what?”

“I saw the pictures your friends posted on social, and I recognized the place.”

“So…”

“I told you to stay away. They are-”

    You were already feeling frustrated with the call when your phone was suddenly taken away. Hongjoong offered you a smile and hung up, turning your phone off.

“Hongjoong…”

“What’s wrong? The birthday girl shouldn’t be sad on her special day.”

“Uh… I… you didn’t invite Chan?”

“Of course not. He doesn’t like us, and there shouldn’t be any negativity today.”

“But-”

“Did he call to wish you a happy birthday?”

“No…”

“Then the right choice was made. Come on now, forget about the call and focus on the party. The night is still young.” Hongjoong held his hand out to you. “Shall we?”

    You knew Chan was gonna be upset about the way the call ended, even if it wasn’t your fault. Still, even if he rushed over now to see you and yell, it would be best to enjoy yourself to the fullest. You took a breath and offered Hongjoong a smile, taking his hand.

“We shall.”

“Good. Now I heard from Seonghwa that someone has been receiving presents.”

“I see word travels fast.”

“Have you been enjoying yourself?”

“Yes. It’s a great party.”

“I’m glad to hear.”

“I didn’t know you’d-”

    While walking your legs suddenly gave out, but Hongjoong managed to hold you up. The adrenaline of the call had worn off and the exhaustion of your previous activities was catching up to you now.

“Sorry…”

“No need to apologize, I got you.”

    You were trying to get your feet under you when Yunho and Mingi suddenly appeared. The two quickly took you from Hongjoong and helped you stand.

“You good?”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“I didn’t know Wooyoung and San did such a number on you.”

“You’re forgetting they aren’t the only ones to deliver their presents.”

“Are you serious?” Mingi questioned. “How are you still awake baby girl?”

“No idea… so are all of you just gifting me sex tonight?”

“Don’t like it?”

“Seems a little cheap. I saw the boxes down there…”

“You’re assuming sex is the only gift you’ll get from us.” Hongjoong chuckled. “Not to mention this party. We spent quite a pretty penny on you.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“But we wanted to.”

    The boys carried you to another bedroom, Hongjoong’s, and set you down. Yunho gently grabbed your legs and massaged them a bit, getting you to lay back. Your shirt exposed a bit of your stomach, and he pulled it up further, seeing the marks.

“Damn, you really are having a fun night, aren’t you?”

“I can’t lie… it’s been the best.”

“Then let us continue, or at least bring this night to a close.” Hongjoong said. “If you can manage it.”

“I wouldn’t mind passing out with one of you guys in me.”

“Promise?”

    Yunho pressed kisses to your cheek, pushing you up on the bed so you could rest comfortably. He got you out of your shirt and bra, taking one of your breasts into his mouth. You ran a hand through his hair, keeping him close. He tugged the joggers down, rubbing your through your panties for a moment. You were still wet down there, and messy. Yunho couldn’t wait long before yanking your panties down and pushing two fingers into you. The wet slopping sounds seemed to please everyone, and Yunho quickly understood he didn’t have to prep much, you were eager and waiting.

    Yunho was quickly on you, not wanting to hear anyone else claim you first. He wasn’t subtle, but swift with his motions. Your body was barely recovering from the last guy between your legs, but you figured you could handle a few more. Yunho was careful not to put any unnecessary strain on your body, but still made sure you were enjoying yourself. He had a nice rhythm going and you were truly relaxed. His touch was gentle but pleasurable, acting more like a lover than anything else. You were surprised he kept his pace throughout, even as he pushed you to the edge. Somehow he held himself together long enough for you to calm down before he went in hard and achieved his own high.

“Fuck… you’re all gonna leave me bruised up tomorrow…”

“And unable to walk.” Mingi commented. “That’s a promise.”

“Then I expect to be carried.”

“I got you, princess.”

    With that Mingi shoved Yunho aside, taking you into his arms and pulling you up. He sat down and had you resting in his lap. He gently held your waist, leading you to grind down on him. He still had his briefs on, but he didn’t mind getting them stained with your juices and what Yunho had left in you. He pressed his head against yours, watching the blissed out smile on your face. You both could only last so long before your basic needs took over. You reached down to free Mingi’s cock, stroking it a bit and adjusting yourself to take him in. He helped you settle down on him, giving you a kiss as a reward.

“I’ll do all the work, so just enjoy yourself.”

“Hm…”

    You wrapped your arms around Mingi, resting your head on his shoulder. He reached around to grab your ass, making you yelp, but he just chuckled. You seemed comfortable so he began to move, being gentle at first, but he couldn’t hold himself back. You grabbed him tightly, moaning into his ear.  He was rough, or maybe it felt that way because you were so worn down already. Still he was good to you, holding you close and whispering such sweet words. You didn’t know when he was getting close, but he certainly pushed you to cloud nine.

    He laid back with you on top of him, still thrusting into you as you rode out your high with him, and soon enough he was adding to the mess between your legs. You shook more violently this time, but Mingi made sure you were alright. Once you settled he carefully laid you down on the bed, pressing soft kisses to your face. You let out low chuckles, smiling with a happy look on your face. Mingi stayed with you for a while, caressing your cheek. You might have fallen asleep if the bed didn’t suddenly dip and you got turned around to face Hongjoong. He had a big smile on his face, reaching over to pet your head.

“Having fun?”

“Very…”

“Can you accept another present?”

“Maybe… I want it either way…”

“Well isn’t someone greedy.”

“Birthday girl, remember?”

“I do.”

    Hongjoong leaned over to kiss your head, then your lips, then slowly trailed down your body. He took your hands in his and placed kisses on them too. He was gentle in how he moved your body about. His hands caressed your thighs as he pulled your legs apart. He could see how red and swollen your clit was, giving that a kiss as well and making you shiver. He slowly climbed on top of you, giving you more kisses. He whispered in your ear and let you know he was gonna fuck you, wanting you to hold yourself together for him. You promised to do so to the best of your ability. That was enough for him, whispering dirty things in your ear as he pushed himself into you, going inch by inch so you could feel everything.

    Your body welcomed him, already feeling the tickles of an orgasm. By now you were so worn down you were floating in a state of bliss, and there wasn’t any coming down. Not with the constant attention, and the fact you’ve had more orgasms this night than ever before. Hongjoong certainly started off slow before getting into a gentle rhythm, his focus solely on you. He watched your face, the expressions you made as he moved around and pleased you. He kept his eyes locked with yours, and you did your best to maintain it, but you were certainly falling apart. Every touch felt like a mini orgasm, and you couldn’t do much else but lie there and take it. Hongjoong was well aware of this, and he just wanted to make sure you finished right.

    You don’t know for sure if Hongjoong hit that sweet spot just right, or your body just broke down, but that final climax was something else. Your whole body trembled as the pleasure and pain mixed together across every inch of your being. Not to mention all the kisses Hongjoong added as he watched you become undone beneath him. You only knew when he climaxed cause you felt a warmth inside you, and could feel the overflow of cum just dripping out of you. The exhaustion was really hitting, and you could barely keep your eyes open. You tried to hold on to Hongjoong, but he just took your hands and kissed them, setting them down.

“We wore you out baby, you should get some rest.”

“My party though…”

“It’s far from over. Take a little nap and I’ll clean you up, okay?”

“Hm…”

“Good girl.”

    You definitely needed rest, and left yourself in their trusted arms. You closed your eyes and let yourself float in and out of consciousness. At some point you felt warm water along your skin, soft hands gently massaging your body, and being wrapped up in clean clothes. You felt a comfy bed beneath you, seeing some face blur past you at times, but you stayed in your own little world, drifting and resting. You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you eventually had the strength to properly get up. You thought maybe you’d be alone to rest, but as you opened your eyes you found a sleepy little Jongho at your side. You reached over to pet his head, getting a little hum out of him, and having him open his eyes.

“Hi…”

“Hey, are you feeling better?”

“I’m good… did you nap with me…”

“A little break from the party doesn’t hurt.”

“Hm… yeah…”

    You carefully sat up, getting help from Jongho in the process. You felt sore all over, but you were happy, it had been a fun night, and it was a very lovely present.

“I have something for you.” Jongho handed you a little box. “Another gift.”

“Oh, what’s this?”

    You opened the box and started laughing, it was some birth control pills, and Jongho brought over some water.

“You know I take birth control, right?”

“But just in case, you can’t be too safe.”

“You don’t wanna be a daddy?”

“Oh, you better watch that mouth, I might take you up on the offer.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not ready to be a mother either.”

    You took the pills and laid back down, taking in a breath and enjoying the comfortable bed. You wanted to go back down to the party, but you still didn’t have the strength for that. You asked Jongho to help you get on your feet, even if your legs were still shaky. You managed to stand, but before you could take any steps you heard a loud commotion from out in the hall. Jongho heard too, seeming concerned when the door suddenly swung open.

“YA!”

    Seeing and hearing Chan yelled startled you, and you collapsed back on the bed. You could see the anger on his face, making you fearful.

“I cannot believe you.”

“This is a party.” Hongjoong exclaimed. “You can’t be yelling at the birthday girl.”

“Shut up! I cannot believe any of you!”

    Chan came over and shoved Jongho away, grabbing your arm and yanking you to your feet. You yelled and weren’t able to stand, immediately falling to the ground. Chan looked at you in shock, kneeling down to take a closer look. He caught sight of some of the bruises on your neck, pulling up your shirt without asking and seeing all the other marks. He quickly got up and pinned Hongjoong against the wall.

“What the fuck did you do!”

Hongjoong chuckled. “It’s a party, and we were having fun. What do you want from me? It was all consensual, I swear.”

“Chan!” You yelled. “Let him go! I’m fine! I-”

“Not a word from you!

“…”

“It’s her birthday and you come in yelling at her like this? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“That’s funny, coming from you.”

    Chan let Hongjoong go and came back over to you, pulling you up to your feet. You could barely stand, let alone walk, but he pulled you along anyway. You bit your lip to keep from making any noises and just did your best to follow. You struggled on the stairs and hid your face when you got to the bottom floor, not wanting to be seen, but of course Chan drew attention. Some of the other Ateez members noticed and rushed over, but you shook your head at them. Chan got you into his car, putting your seat belt on you and slammed the door shut. You hid your face, not able to meet anyone in the eye and stayed silent on the drive. You kept your head low, but as you looked around you noticed the streets were different.

“This isn’t the-”

“You think I’m taking you back to your place so they can go get you?”

“No, I-”

“You are unbelievable.”

“Chan-”

“Quiet! I told you to break off from them and what do I find? You have no problem lying to my face now.”

“I-”

“I told you to be quiet.”

“…”

“You’ll be staying with me until further notice.”

    You wanted to explain yourself, to at least have your voice be heard, but given what Chan just did, and your current state, it was best to remain silent. So you did. When you got to Chan’s place he got you out of the car, holding your arm and pulling you along, a lot gentler this time. He plopped you down on the couch and came back with a med kit, wanting to take a better look at you. All you really had were bruises and some nail marks, nothing too serious, but he had to be sure. You were a bit nervous, but lifted up your shirt just enough so you didn’t expose your breasts. Like you said nothing serious, and he was satisfied after checking.

“Here. It’s your clothes, put them on.”

“Thanks…”

    Your body wasn’t so sore anymore, but you did struggle a bit to make it to the bathroom. You dressed into your clothes and returned to the living room. Chan was nowhere to be seen, but you knew where he’d be. You went over into his office, seeing him looking over some papers.

“Chan…”

“Don’t. I don’t wanna hear it.”

“But-”

“You went out with a bang, literally, so let’s leave it at that.”

“I-”

“Please.”

“Yeah… yeah that’s fine…”

    You made your way over to Chan’s side, looking down at the papers on the table. You reached over to look some over, coming across an image from a CCTV.

“What’s this?”

“A partial plate from the last robbery.”

“You got a plate?”

“Partial. I honestly thought the vehicles they used didn’t have any plates, but it seems like they just cover them up.”

“It seems fortune is on our- your side. It’s progress.”

“Yeah. Minho got a bit crazy and rammed into one of the vehicles. Guess that damaged the plate cover and we managed to catch a few digits.”

“You gonna run this through your database?”

“The car itself might not even be registered, could be a fake plate to begin with. We’ll still run it, although working with a partial plate is gonna make it difficult.” 

“Any bit of progress is better than none.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m gonna get some rest.”

“You do that.”

“Don’t stay up too late.”

“No promises.”

“Night.”

“Good night, and y/n?”

“Hm?”

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.”

❤

    Chan kept to his word and didn’t let you leave his place. He drove you to and from school, always punctual. Even though he never said anything, you knew he was always looking around for others. You didn’t get any messages from anyone, not that you would respond, but it really made you wonder what everyone thought. Surely word got around about what happened that night. Your friends didn’t mention it either, just saying things went well. Of course Chan probably spoke with them beforehand, and you weren’t gonna pry. So you just focused on getting your life back to normal, no more secret double life stuff going on. If only it was that easy.

“How’s the body?”

    You jumped at the voice that suddenly appeared, distracting you from your notes. Your first class had been canceled so you were in the library when someone approached you. The voice was familiar, and you were a bit shy to look up, so they took a seat instead.

“You’re not hurt anywhere are you?”

“I’m fine, San.”

“You didn’t call.”

“Neither did you.”

“And have Chan scream in my ear, I didn’t wanna risk it.”

“Well he’s not monitoring my phone 24/7 so you would have been fine.”

“Then why didn’t you call?”

“San.”

“Hm?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Me? Nothing, just here to see you.”

“You’re not a student here, you should go.”

“Come on, I came all-”

“I’m a student, San.” You interrupted. “I’m not from a wealthy family, and I seriously need to focus on school if I want to get anywhere in life. It was fun getting to know you guys, but this is where we must part ways.”

“You don’t mean that. Was your birthday present-”

“Thanks for the party, and the gifts. It was a good farewell.”

“You still have all those presents back-”

“Leave. Before I call security.”

“You’d do that?”

“I wanna graduate, which means I have to pass this semester in order to get closer to my goal. Partying and racing isn’t gonna help me. Now please, go.”

“Alright… don’t be a stranger.”

“Yeah.”

    You didn’t know if that went well, but at least nothing got heated. You continued to focus on school, managing to get to finals week, and feeling confident in your skills. Test taking always sucked, but the exams actually felt easy, so you were certain you passed. After your last one, a midday one, you were going to text Chan when you ran into a familiar face.

“Congratulations.”

“Hongjoong… what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see you of course. You’ve completed your last exam, and the semester is over, right?”

“Uh, yeah, but-”

“We should celebrate. You’re one step closer to graduation.”

“But-”

“San told us your birthday party was a farewell party, and I find that quite unfair.”

“Unfair?”

“We should have a proper going away party for you. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I understand you wanted to focus on your studies. Now that’s done, shall we?”

“Hongjoong-”

“Nothing big. Just dinner and us, I promise.”

“I can’t just-”

“I understand Chan has been keeping a watchful eye, but he’d understand you wanting to unwind today. Besides, I doubt he’ll ever know. So, may we have the honor of your company one last time?”

“Fine, but I can’t be out so late.”

“Of course.”

    Despite your better judgment you went with Hongjoong back to his place. The others were very happy to see you, and you couldn’t help the genuine smile on your face.

“First, your present.” Hongjoong said, handing you the car keys. “Here.”

“For me?”

“It should make it easier for you to get to and from school from now on. And it’ll be easier to go out and enjoy yourself.”

“I… I’m not sure I can accept this…”

“Please do.” Seonghwa stated. “We can’t possibly repay you for all the great memories we’ve made together.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Yeosang held his hand out to you. “One last dinner.”

    You took his hand and followed them all inside. The place had been cleaned up nicely since your party. It was weeks ago, but still, not a trace was left. It actually seemed a lot emptier than before. You were going to ask when Mingi suddenly took your other hand.

“We still have to set the table.” Mingi explained. “So how about we let the others do that.”

“Ya! Mingi!”

“Have fun!”

    Before anyone else could object Mingi pulled you away from the group and led you away. No one was gonna stop you two, so you ran off. Mingi took you around the house, asking how you’ve been and how your exams went. He was glad to hear you were done with the stress and felt confident in passing your classes.  You two wound up down in the garage, Mingi suggesting taking you out on one last ride. You looked at all the cars, blushing a bit when you saw the one where San and Wooyoung had given you your birthday present. Although your eyes then lingered to another car.

“Oh… isn’t that…”

    You walked over to the car that had caught your attention. You had been down in the garage multiple times before. Of course you didn’t know them all, but something about this car caught your eye.

“This looks like the car the Black Pirates drive.”

“Wa… what?”

“You know, those robberies that have taken place in the area as of late. I saw a picture of one of the cars they drive and it had a partial… plate…”

    Now that you were closer and rambling about the car you looked down at the license plate, realizing that it actually matched the partial plate that had been caught on camera.

“I didn’t know the car had been reported in the news.”

“It wasn’t… I, uh, I actually saw it online. You know things always get leaked there.”

“So you kept up with it then? Playing detective in your spare time.”

“Uh, well… yeah, kind of.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah… what a crazy coincidence.”

“Coincidence… right.”

“Actually we should go back upstairs. I’m sure the others are done setting up, and we can all take a ride together later.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

    Mingi took your hand and the two of you went upstairs. You were trying not to act so nervous. You didn’t know what to do anymore, but you knew you needed to call Chan immediately. He could chew you out for all this later. Of course you could be wrong on your assumption that Ateez were the Black Pirates, but you had an uneasy feeling about everything. You needed to leave.

“Mingi.”

“Hm?”

“I just remembered that since today was my last test, me and my friends made plans to celebrate together. I can’t have dinner with you guys tonight, but maybe tomorrow.”

“But you’re already here, and your friends haven’t called.”

“I just got a text and they were asking where I was, so I should get going.”

“The others-”

“It’s not goodbye, so let’s not make it one.”

“Y/n-”

“I’ll call you guys, I promise.”

    You pulled your hand away from Mingi and calmly walked to the front door. You held yourself together not to make it look weird. At least you had a means of leaving, the present you had been given. You did fumble with the keys a bit but managed to open the door and start the car. You waved at Mingi and drove off, not really sure where you were going, but needing to get as far away as possible. It was already late, and for the most part the road was empty. You carefully reached over to grab your phone and call Chan, although it said he was unavailable. You tried multiple times, but got the same response every time.

“Come on, Chan, pick up.”

    While driving you suddenly heard the roar of an engine, looking in the rear view mirror to see two vehicles getting close. It didn’t take long to recognize the cars, and then the drivers and passengers.

“Fuck…”

    You were freaking out, knowing they’d catch up to you soon enough. You tried to call Chan again, but nothing. The cars come up on either side of you, on your left you see Jongho waving at you, asking you to stop. You didn’t feel safe, you couldn’t comply with this, so you just stepped on the gas. They seemed a bit annoyed, but continued to follow. You tried once to call Chan, but there was no answer, so you resorted to a voicemail.

“Chan, please answer your goddamn phone! When you get this, please call me back immediately. You were right, okay? Shit was dangerous and… I fucked up, but it was an accident! I didn’t… shit, they caught up to me…”

    You weren’t an experienced driver, especially when it came to speed, but you didn’t let your foot off the gas. You didn’t know how fast you were going, but just seeing the others getting closer put you on edge. You were only really focused on the road, not wanting to lose control, and then the two cars crashed against you, trying to sandwich you between them. You screamed, trying to get them off, but whatever they were doing, they were in control.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck… Chan, I’m sorry… I know you told me to stay out of it… it’s my fault alright… please just call me back so I can tell you everything… I don’t know long I can do this… the Black Pirates-”

    The others pulled back suddenly, but you still turned the wheel. The sudden movement, combined with the speed, you turned to the side and wound up flipping over. Everything happened in a blur, like the light of the world was turning on and off in slow motion. You don’t know how many times your car flipped, but at some point it stopped. Your ears were ringing, and the edges of your vision were black. The world was upside down, and you slowly looked around. You vaguely noticed the other two cars coming to a stop, seeing people rush out.

“Y/n!”

“Don’t touch the car!” Hongjoong ordered. “And someone call an ambulance.”

    With that said, Mingi ended up grabbing Wooyoung before he got close, holding him back. Yeosang dialed emergency services, and Yunho ended up grabbing San as well.

“Hyung!” Wooyung yelled. “We can’t just leave her!”

“You know why we followed her out here.”

“Hyung!”

“Seonghwa, Jongho, get the license plates.”

“HYUNG!”

    You could see some footsteps approaching, but you couldn’t make much out. There was a dull ache all over your body, although you felt more like you were floating. Still, among the chaos of everything, you didn’t want it to end this way.

“… help… save… me…”

    The two boys grabbed the license plates off the car and stepped away. No one was happy with this, but it was Hongjoong’s orders.

“… please… don’t leave… me…”

“We’re not seriously leaving her like this.” San said. “Are we?”

“The ambulance and police will be here soon, we have to go.”

“Hyung!”

“We don’t have time, let’s go.”

    You vaguely heard the sounds of sirens in the distance, followed by cars speeding off. It was hard to stay awake, but you held out, trying to wait for someone, anyone, to help. The sirens did get lower, and at some point you could see others approach. Your head was pounding and you could taste blood in your mouth, but you figured it was okay to close your eyes now. Even if you didn’t open them again, you could stay awake much longer. You heard voices, maybe speaking to you, but you just closed your eyes and sank into darkness.

❤

    You gasped awake, panicking as you felt the restraints on your body. You were freaking out and taking in your surroundings as all these memories flooded your mind. At one point you screamed, wishing you could grab your head, but your arms were restrained. You calmed yourself and took in some deep breaths, slowly looking up at the men surrounding you. They had been watching you calmly this whole time.

“So, do you remember now?” Hongjoong asked. “Do you remember us?”

“I… I remember…”

“That’s good. We-”

“You left me…”

“Huh?”

“You left me for dead… you tried to kill me!”

    You started screaming and thrashing in your restraints. This caught them off guard and San and Wooyoung quickly reached over to grab you and hold you still.

“Ya, ya, ya.” Seonghwa knelt down before you. “Easy now, you really think we left you for dead?”

“You did! You…” Tears stung your eyes. “You left me…”

“Oh baby, why did you run?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you run away that night? What reason did you have to run from us?”

“I…”

“Mingi said you were talking about the Black Pirates, and that you suspected us. Is that why you ran away?”

“Why… why did you chase me…”

“You didn’t seem to be in your right mind when you left, and to be driving, we were worried. We tried to get you to stop, but you wouldn’t. Then the unimaginable happened…”

“And you left…”

“You had one of our cars.” Yunho said. “We race with those, and they’re designed to survive a crash and flip. You were never gonna die.”

“Liar! How would I know that!”

“Cause you’re alive and well today, aren’t you?”

“Fuck you!”

“Easy now, easy.” Yeosang interrupted. “We just wanna talk. Now that everything is back in order we should clear things up, don’t you agree?”

“Let me go! You fuckers kidnapped me! You ran me off the road and tried to kill me and now this! You’re going-”

“Aish.” Hongjoong hissed. “Let’s just cut to it then.”

    Hongjoong stepped up before you and grabbed a handful of your hair, holding your head back. Some of the others didn’t like his actions but they said nothing, just watching.

“That night you came to our place, you went down to the garage with Mingi. One of our cars caught your eye. You recognized it as a car the Black Pirates used, even mentioning the partial plate. So now, my question is, how did you know that?”

“The news-”

“The news never reported on our crimes.” Hongjoong chuckled when your eyes went wide. “Yes baby girl, we’re the Black Pirates. The news reported the robberies, but never stated they were connected, never asked the public for help identifying a car or a partial plate, so how did you know about it? You a cop?”

“It was on the-”

“Y/n, sweetie, stop playing games.” Hongjoong let you go. “We know none of the car information was ever shared with the press, or leaked online. How so? We have an inside source. That means we know that the only people who had access to that information are somehow involved with the police. Now answer the question, are you a cop?”

“…”

“Perhaps you were an informant. That makes sense too. You stuck out like a sore thumb when you first came to the races, yet you were very social and befriended everyone.”

“That sounds like an informant.” Jongho added. “I remember you got so many phone numbers at your first party.”

“…”

“Why are you so silent now? You were yelling a few minutes ago.”

“Maybe we’re wrong.” San commented. “Maybe she’s an undercover cop. The authorities suspected street racers, and then she showed up.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Mingi interrupted. “Isn’t she close friends with Stray Kids? They suddenly came on the scene and rose to our ranks. Looking back on it now, that seems suspicious, doesn’t it?”

“Chan and the others have nothing to do with this!” You snapped.

“With what? Are you admitting to working for the police?”

“…”

“Come on now, the silent treatment again?”

“Baby, we already know the truth.” Wooyoung commented. “Chan and his little stray kids are undercover cops. We knew there was someone like that in our midst but we weren’t sure until you confirmed it for us.”

“Wa… what?”

“Don’t you remember? That night you went out drinking with friends and Yunho took you home. He was gonna drop you off at your apartment but you had him take you somewhere else. We peeked in later when it was empty and imagine our surprise at what we found.”

“No… no I didn’t-”

“Sh, it’s okay.” Yunho assured. “You were intoxicated that night, and you didn’t mean any harm. Thanks for the information, although that just begs the question, what are you? A cop or informant? My money is on the latter.”

“…”

“You don’t have to be shy. We-”

“Don’t hurt him… any of them… please…”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Seonghwa chuckled. “Are you ready to be honest?”

“Just leave him alone…”

“Alright. So what are you then?”

“A volunteer…”

“Huh?”

“I’m not a cop… or informant… I just wanted to help…”

“Is that why you were so genuine with us? It was never a mask. Do you consider us your friends?”

“… I did…”

“Did? Past tense? You know we were genuine with you too, right?”

“What does that-”

“We’re not bad guys.” Yeosang added. “We’ve never hurt anyone. Just robbed some banks.”

“Why…”

“That’s hardly the point here. We may have met under special circumstances, but we’re friends. More than friends I’d say.”

“What?”

“You know…” Jongho began. “That night, we wanted to invite you to come with us.”

“Huh?”

“You were done with school and we were leaving this place. We wanted you to join us. To go on a new adventure together. Of course you ran off before we could propose the idea.”

“Me? Why… why would I go with you?”

“Don’t you remember your birthday party? I think that night speaks for itself.”

“I… that doesn’t…” You took a breath. “Do you think we have something? That beyond being friends there was more to this relationship?”

“Well, isn’t there?”

“No… you were my friends once, but I was reminded time and time again we come from different worlds. Anything between us was never gonna work out, so I had to let go first.”

“And look how that went.” Mingi commented. “You got scared and ran off, got yourself hospitalized too. Gosh, it was so annoying when Chan came busting down our doors with the police. It makes more sense now how he managed to do that.”

“What did you say?”

“Did he not tell you? Once you were stable he stormed our house looking for any evidence to insinuate that we ran you off the road. Of course he was trying to use the fact we were in the middle of moving to make his point, but that got him nowhere.”

“…”

“As you know, we were always planning to move.” Yunho added. “It’s why we wanted to ask you that night, but of course even if things didn’t go our way, we still had things set up. So the move continued, even if Chan was crawling all over our property and checking all our vehicles. He walked away empty handed.”

“Leave him out of this. I won’t tell him anything, so just let me go.”

“Let you go? We have all kinds of history-”

“That’s the past. You left me for dead on the road, and never came back. We’ve already parted ways.”

Wooyoung chuckled. “We never came back? Is that what you think? Oh baby, that’s far from the truth.”

“The hell are you talking about?”

“Aish. We were gonna get you from the hospital but Seonghwa got interrupted.”

“What?”

“We told you that we wanted to leave with you.” Seonghwa stated. “It was hard to find a moment when Chan wasn’t around to sneak in, and then you woke up to my surprise.”

“You… you were the one…”

“We were all so upset when Seonghwa reported your amnesia.” Hongjoong continued. “But you disappeared with Chan after you left the hospital so there was no way to check in on you. We had to wait till school started up again and hope to see you on campus. Thankfully we did, and the moments you interacted with some of us, it really showed you didn’t remember us at all. It was very upsetting, until we found out your memories were returning.”

“And so you kidnapped me?”

“We should be there for the important moment.”

“You drugged me and forced me-”

“Ya, that’s all in the past now. What matters is that you remember everything, and we’re together.”

“Let me go.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Let. Me. Go. I want nothing to do with you, so I won’t say anything. Just let me go.”

“What part of no did you not understand?” San questioned. “We’ve been waiting for you for months. You don’t get to walk away like this.”

“We’re not friends anymore, and weren’t not anything else. So let me go.”

“Or what?” Yeosang asked. “What are you gonna do? Cause you’re still tied up in our garage baby. You gonna escape?”

“You-”

“We have no intention of letting you go. You’re staying with us either way. So get comfy.”

“Let me-”

“We only came back to this old town looking for you.” Hongjoong stated. “Now that we found you we can make preparations to leave and be on our way.”

“You can’t do this! Chan will realize I’m missing soon and-”

“What? He’ll come knocking on our door like he did when you got into your accident? We already told you he walked away empty handed, and that’s gonna happen again. No one is taking you away from us, not even you.”

“You’re all fucken psychos!”

“Yeah, yeah maybe we are.” Hongjoong grabbed your face. “But there’s just something about you that calls out to me. From the moment our eyes met, I just knew I had to have you. Being near you felt right, as if we had been together before, as if it was meant to be. Like some kind of deja vu.”

“You won’t get away with this!”

“I’m sure you felt it too. Heck, when my boys got close you admitted to feeling something familiar about them. Not to mention how we met again.”

“You-”

“I know you get deja vu.”

“…”

“So let’s stop pretending, okay?” Hongjoong let you go. “You guys know what to do with her. Make sure she’s comfortable until we leave.”

“Got it.”

“No! No, you can’t do this!”

“Just hold on for a while longer.” Seonghwa kissed your head. “We’ll begin again properly.”

“Let me go! You psychos! Let me go!”

    Some of them walked off, meanwhile San and Wooyoung held you down again. Yunho walked up to you with another needle and you tried to get him away, but you could only watch as something was injected into your arm.

“Don’t be scared, everything’s gonna be okay, you’ll see.”

“No! Please, please don’t do this.”

“Sh, just get some rest. We can talk more later.”

     You felt someone undoing your restraints, and once you were free you tried to jump Yunho, but you could feel your strength leaving you. Despite your efforts you couldn’t stay awake, and he easily scooped you up in his arms. His gentle voice was lulling you to sleep, and eventually you shut your eyes. Fading into the unknown with no idea what awaited you.

“There, there, sweet dreams love. Dream of us.”

[keiskake]

chisaki kai x gn!reader

fluff/one shot (cw//mention of 'drinks' and not proofread properly)

a/n ~ i forgot about his birthday, and then decided to write it at 10pm. it was supposed to be a drabble but ended as a one short, but i'm very happy with the end result. happy birthday overhaul, he kinda cute.

the 20th of the 3rd month. chisaki's birthday. chisaki wasn't the biggest fan of celebrations, nor did he see the need for them whatsoever. but this year was different, this year you were his lover and not his devout follower. you swore to yourself that his next birthday would be celebrated properly. a party, cake, presents, and the little bits in between. you would make it a birthday he would never forget.

past birthdays you've spent with chisaki weren't memorable in the slightest. back then you would just go on missions like you did every other day, helping him develop the quirk erasing drug or figuring out if heroes were on your tail. you always wondered if he chose to spend the day like that because he genuinely wanted to, or if he did so to ensure no celebrations were held.

you had started planning the big day the minute chisaki asked you to be his. and closer to the date you started letting other members in on the secret, chrono being your main assistant. chrono always listened to chisaki's wishes but this time he couldn't argue with someone on the same level as his boss. you were going to make it happen.

he has scheduled for more tests with the drugs to be done that day, typical. but you were a step ahead. you had chrono and the rest do that testing all night so that your plan of action could move forward that next day. whilst that was going on, you led chisaki to bed early that evening.

"why so early? i have things to do y/n." he stood across the bed, arms crossed and his brows furrowed. he wasn't exactly the happiest of souls that night.

"i'm sleepy kai, and i'm cold."

"i can get you a another blanket."

"no! c'mon just cuddle me, one night with no work won't kill y'know." you knew what you were doing, pouting your lips and giving him the most innocent puppy eyes.

"fine, just one night sweetheart.." he sighed, reluctantly slipping into bed and holding you from behind. you had him right where you wanted.

the morning ahead of you was a busy one. you got out of bed the second your eyes opened and went to see chrono. the testing had been completed, and the gang were slumped on the floor in exhaustion. poor things. the next phase was ready, getting chisaki out of the place. chrono had planned to take chisaki out for a scout around the area, since it was the least conspicuous explanation.

they left soon after, chrono messaging you the same time the door shut '4 hours to finish up y/n'. you had stashed balloons and streamers and party poppers in chrono's closet yesterday afternoon, and all you had to do was place them around the party room. you had chosen the tea room as the party room, given it was the most spacious part of the house that was still presentable.

mimic and others gathered to help decorate the room, whilst you headed for the cake. you decided to make the cake from scratch, a few others from the hassaikai chose to cook up the main meal. you poured your heart into the cake. you made sure every fruit on it was washed well and that all utensils used were cleaned properly after every use. you even made a fondant topper of the plague doctor mask that the group is known for.

you set the cake in the middle of the table, hurrying off soon after for the finishing touches. his gifts. they were the biggest surprise that you had for him. it wasn't usual for the two of you to exchange gifts, even after a year of dating, though it was never off limits either. shin helped you wrapped them up and you got to slap the little pom pom on top each one of them.

you arranged them on the table, everyone admiring all the hard work and efforts of the last four hours. you glanced over at the clock, realising it was almost time and on cue was a message from chrono 'we're coming in 2 minutes, get ready.' you were nervous, your heart pounding a little heavier than before and your hands becoming sweaty. you rushed everyone to hide anywhere they could, throwing yourself behind the table with shin and mimic. it was time for it to all act out.

shuffling noises came from the hallway, the noise continuing to approach the party room. you faced the two members beside you, a smile coming from the three of you in unison. the door creaked open and a muffled conversation crept in. three. two. one.

"SURPISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOSS!"

you all jumped from the nooks and crannies that you had been hiding in, party poppers flying from across the room and the celebratory noises echoing all around. his face was in shock. he didn't have the foggiest clue what was going on. behind his dark eyes you could see droplets of tears being held back, maybe this was what he wanted from the very start.

"i told you, celebrations are not necessary for such things.."

"yes, but, y/n planned all this. you wouldn't want their efforts to go to waste would you boss?" chrono looked at you with a smile.

after hearing that you were the mastermind behind this chisaki let himself enjoy the party, well enjoy it as much as he could. he tried the food and indulged in a piece of your homemade birthday cake, amused at the little topper. the hassaikai really knew how to party. drinks were going around, music was filling the air and god did these guys know how to dance. behind all the group activities, you guys were still just ordinary people. chisaki was an ordinary person too.

the party went on until evening. at one point you drew chisaki outside, leading him to the garden so he could see the stars with you. they were beautiful that night. no matter where you looked it was beautiful inside and out. you pulled out a box wrapped in purple, handing it to chisaki with a smile.

"for you kai."

"you didn't need to y/n." he took the box, unwrapping its outer shell. he pulled the lid off the box and removed the tissue paper on top. the box held a pair of gloves. a pair of gloves with your name written on the side near the wrists. his eyes glowed like the stars in a blue night like blanket. he dropped the box on the bench, pulling you into a tight embrace.

"i hope you like them and maybe wear them sometime.." you hugged him back, patting his back gently.

"thank you sweetheart, you really go above and beyond for me." he pulled away and placed a small peck on your forehead. "i thought you forgot about today."

"why would i forget such an important day kai?"

"because you didn't say it to me this morning."

"i would never forget! i was gonna say it now. so, happy birthday kai. i love you so much."

"i love you too y/n. thank you for the making this birthday unforgettable"

[hampop]

.

I don’t have anywhere else to vocalize this so. The birth process was traumatizing. I didn’t really want to induce but was told I should. Go in at 7am on the fifth and they give me pills to soften my cervix and I lay in a hospital bed for a full day while they monitor me and my son. That night my water breaks and they start me on pitocin to induce the labor.

I labor for 18 hours.

The contractions are inconsistent. Some are brief and others long. Most are very painful. Every couple hours a nurse comes in to check my cervix which hurts unimaginably. I find out each time I’ve only dilated a little bit, much slower than they’d like me to be. I am in a dizzying pain, I ask for an epidural way sooner than I wanted to. The entry point is in my spine. My husband holds me while I cry like I haven’t since I was a baby and a whole team of nurses coaches me through to pain. Epidural kicks in. I feel ok for a while. Catheter gets put in. Nurses realize I’m not creating urine. They encourage me to just drink more water. I labor another several hours. No one says anything to me about what is going on behind the scenes—that my kidneys are experiencing acute trauma due to lack of water, that my body’s sodium is fucked. I’m crying and shaking and at 10pm on the second night the doctor comes in and tells me that my body rejects pitocin and has been sending fluid to other parts of my body as a reaction. They have been speculating what is wrong with me for hours, knowing something was wrong but not what. Multiple doctors across the country are contacted. They turn the pitocin off after nearly 18 hours of it. The doctor tells me the pitocin isn’t working and my baby isn’t going to be born naturally and that we need to get him out asap or we might both die. I agree to the c section. I didn’t want one, but I had to have it. They still call it elective and not emergency.

I am wheeled into a sterile white room, crying, while a team of surgeons preps for the surgery. I weigh too much. I, still experiencing labor pain, have to roll myself onto the operating table. They strap me down. I don’t get to see my husband for a while. They start giving me drugs to numb me from the neck down. This makes my lungs go numb. I have to actively try to breathe. My husband comes in and holds my hand. I can’t breathe. They put an oxygen mask on me. I vomit into it. I can feel them cutting me open though I don’t feel the pain. I vomit three more times. They deliver my baby and I start sobbing at his cries and I can’t touch him because my body is numb. My husband leaves my side to tend to the baby and is excitedly giving me information while I continue to vomit. They give me a drug to knock me out entirely. They don’t tell me this before they do it. I have sleep apnea. I stop breathing multiple times. I don’t really remember the birth of my baby.

I wake up and two surgeons are above me sewing me up. I ask if I’m ok. They ignore me. I’m hallucinating, thinking I’m speaking when I’m not. They congratulate me and the team rolls me into the hall, laughing and celebrating while I am genuinely convinced I died on the table. Nothing feels real. They roll me into my room and my husband is in the corner, holding our baby. I still think I’m dead. He goes to bring the baby to me, the nurses take my baby and run some more tests. My husband comes over to check on me. I ask if I’m dead. He says I’m not. I don’t believe him. The nurse comes over to finally hand me my baby. I start crying, I reach my arms out. She forgets something and turns around, taking him away just before I can reach him. I’m too tired to say anything. I finally get to hold him and before I can even process anything, a team of nurses comes over and starts trying to teach me how to breastfeed. I am high as a kite, my baby is rejecting my breast, I still think I’m dead. Someone takes him from me at some point and I am told to go to bed. I do. I wake up in horrible pain. The next two days are spent trying to bond with my son while being barely able to move. I’m in a diaper, I’m bleeding profusely. The hospital bed is too high and can’t be lowered so I have to learn to crawl like an animal to get into it. My legs are swollen with the water my body was rejecting. I am told to rest, as I have received a major abdominal surgery. I am also told not to rest, to keep from forming life threatening blood clots. They won’t let me lay down for more than an hour.

I finally leave after four total days. I am terrified of getting pregnant again.

[tehuti88-heritage]

My Dad, Part 10

(June 23, 2024)

My COVID symptoms got weird throughout June 19 2023. It mostly felt like a bad head cold mixed with the flu; my throat annoyed me, but fortunately it never got bad. The doctor finally got back to my mother & we both got Paxlovid, but it made both of us too sick to take more than a couple of doses (forget "bad taste," it made some sort of noxious...fumes...rise in my throat & constantly gag me so I couldn't sleep all night, then by the time it finally became manageable it was time for another dose...just couldn't handle it)...I figured I would end up fine, it was my mother I worried about. (We're all fully boosted.) She needed her inhaler a few times but other than that seemed to do okay. We had to wear masks when we went out in public...I always did anyway, though she'd stopped, the reason we were both sick right now! She put it back on for this.

Dad's insurance refused to cover more time at MediLodge, so we had to start paying out of pocket.

Weirdly, in the midst of all this, the COVID reporting page at MediLodge mysteriously disappeared. Then the link to it on the main page. I found a cached version at the Wayback Machine & cases had doubled before it disappeared. (I misremembered the order of things, & this was my previous comment about the doubled cases, 22.) Why remove it right in the middle of the first COVID outbreak there in months...?

I checked their Facebook page & there was a new post that they were hiring people, but not a peep about the outbreak. Awfully interesting.

We gained Dad a slightly longer stay, but he was then slated to come home on Friday, June 23...not nearly long enough for proper physical therapy, but it was all we had. He wrote me a letter while he was still in there.

At the time, Dad's letter encouraged me...but as time went on, I had to wonder if he'd been telling the truth when he said the employees marveled at how fast he was recovering. I think maybe he said this to justify leaving sooner.

Maybe I've just gotten cynical.

June 23 2023 started normal but I'm sure my insides knotted up like usual, knowing Dad was to come home that day. I woke up & washed up at 10, fed the cat, dozed off again on the couch like usual, not expecting my mother to bring him home until somewhat later. I awoke to them entering the house earlier than I'd expected, & was too anxious to go back to sleep. I sat & watched as my mother helped my dad slowly come into the room with a walking stick, & sit him down on the couch. She got my walker...I don't like to jump ahead here...but he would never get off that walker again.

I spent the day bringing him ice water over & over because I wanted him to drink. He whispered thank you whenever I did. He had no more voice for some reason. He'd had a low raspy voice the last time I heard him, that horrible day after he left the hospital AMA, but now he just had no voice at all. Only a whisper. His back was in a lot of pain, but among the numerous drugs they'd given us, & the crappy instructions that weren't instructions at all, there were no painkillers. He had a COVID cocktail that was mostly vitamins, & a steroid (Googling this, I found it's given mainly to patients with SEVERE COVID, which we had never been told about)...yet it seemed to make him too sick to eat, so we had to figure out which drug to sacrifice. We had no idea when or if to give him his insulin since he was barely eating.

In short, we had no idea what we were doing. Yet we were in charge of him, now.

Ah right, yes, dexamethasone. Corticosteroid. Can cause stomach upset. They hadn't included an anti-nausea med, either. AND it can cause...MORE infections! So since he was breathing okay & all that, we discontinued it in the hopes he'd eat.

I was so anxious during all this that I barely drank myself, & did not eat all day. I took notes of what was happening on Twitter, but did not go into detail until after the day was over--around 3AM--stating it was basically a repeat of the last time. He could not get around on his own. Every time he made a motion to get up, I lit up in alarm, and gestured to get my mother's attention, as she kept getting lost in her own thoughts. We always had to be ready in case he fell. He always needed the walker; I wondered if it was why his back hurt, or if it was his kidneys. Just a struggle getting him to & from the bathroom for little result since he wasn't drinking enough yet.

One thing I clearly remember, though I'm unsure if it was that day or in a later day. My mother finally got in touch with my medical supplier on the phone & got them to promise to send out my belated order for catheters. She hung up the phone & turned to me & said, "They're sending them out."

"They're finally coming??" I exclaimed in mock surprise.

Dad waved to get my attention. I went over to him & he whispered, "Who's coming out?" I realized--he thought Ma & I were calling 911 to come get him & take him back. -_- "My medical supplier, they're finally sending my supplies," I clarified, & he seemed to relax & sat back.

Even now he still wanted to avoid the hospital at all costs.

That night, however, I again needed to call 911 for a lift assist, just to get him back in bed. He couldn't do it on his own. I guess I've made myself forget the details, or it all blurs together, but I noted on Twitter that it was just like the last time, except this time, he declined the EMTs' suggestion to return to the hospital. Just wanted a lift into bed & that was it. Ma & I were left to care for him the rest of the time. I guess we were just going to have to call 911 every time he was unable to move because we sure couldn't move him.

As I said, it was well after midnight by the time this finally ended & he was in bed. I went to bed myself, agonizing over how the hell we were going to get him up in the morning! If he didn't just try to do it himself! They'd told us he had low blood pressure, a sign of dehydration...I had no idea how to get him drinking more, either. We were so lost.

Will share more as the days go on.

[pokerobbo]

New Year, New Me...

If you are reading this then I have successfully tricked you into giving a damn about the change process I am undertaking... I hope its riveting.

The purpose of this blog will be for me to provide weekly updates and reflections on what is happening in my life. Some content will be darker than a block of gold chocolate, other content not so much.. Either way; whether you like it or not by reading this you're about to find out a heck of a lot about me!

New years. The time of year when some people signal the end of the holiday period, some people get ridiculously 'lit' in an attempt to leave a 'crappy' year behind and nearly everyone comes up with a list of goals and aspirations that they intend to stick with for the whole year but in reality forget about by the end if January (believe me, I'm the king of that). With that said the following is my list of hopefully unbroken promises.

Get rid of all consumer debt!

Currently as it stands I have around $9800 of consumer debt; to be fair a large portion of that is made up of credit cards that I used when I relocated for my new job in 2019. Apparently furnishing a house can be quite expensive! who knew right? The rest of it is made up of Zip Pay and Afterpay of which I probably could have waited until I had the spare money to purchase.

Before Christmas I felt a bit down and as a result I took put a small loan to buy some things that I thought would provide happiness. I get that habit from my mother. To mask her sadness she used to spend money which worked.. until she wasted thousands of dollars and ran out of money... but thats another story for another time. In hindsight its not a big deal. I make more than enough to pay it off quickly; but that's counter productive to the whole notion of a debt free 2024!

Drop down to 100KG

I have always been a big lad. Genetically my shoulders are quite broad (Thanks Grandpa) and my legs are like tree trunks from my teenage Rugby playing days. I cant count as high as the amount of times I have said "right its time to lose weight"; which usually lasts until driving home from the gym and I see that the Micky D's drive through is open.

In November 2021 before I relocated to Port Augusta from Port Lincoln I was a hefty 142KG. My diet consisted largely of 2L classic choccy milk, Noodle Bento and anything fried... Gradually through making small changes subconsciously in September 2022 I slimmed down to about 132KG. One day in September I decided id had enough. I joined the Gym as a way to get out of the house abit more; then to add the extra pressure I enlisted in the services of a Personal Trainer. We both appreciate and hate him depending on the day. At first I was going to the Gym just when I had sessions but recently I have started going 4 mornings a week at 6:30am (which anyone who knows me will testify that is a massive thing for me. Mornings can get fucked). Long story short I am down to 124KG now with the goal of hitting 100KG by the end of 2023.

Grow PokeRobbo Collectables by 10%

PokeRobbo Collectables is a business I have started. Once I'm clear of consumer debt ill be saving up a decent amount of capital to spend on Pokemon Cards and Video Games with the goal of reselling them. 10% is a modest goal one that should be easy to achieve.

Only drinking twice

Not going to be a hard one as Im not a big drinker. Anyone who has crossed paths with Drunk Alex will atest that he is an absolute blast (or Menace) depending on who you ask..

No Betting.

Ah Gambling. The silent addiction. In my opinion it is the most dangerous addiction because of how easy it is to hide. You see a meth addict or an alcoholic you can instantly tell what's up. Try doing that with a gambling addict. I bet ya 50 bucks you cant.

I've never been one to over indulge in alcohol and I've never even had a cigarette yet alone harder drugs but I have certainly felt the pinch of addiction. In the past my gambling habit has always been something that my friends knew about but only one of them knows the full extent of how bad it got at one stage (we'll call him Rick Hernandez) until now that is.

In 2018 at its worst I was spending roughly $3000 a week on sports betting.. however I was winning so I thought it was okay. Its easy to downplay how much you have spent when you walk away with more than you spent. The fact remains though. I still spent $3000 a week sometimes. Pokies have never been an issue for me. I play them occasionally ( like 20 bucks a time when i go out for dinner) but I have never really been interested by the bright lights.

In 2020 I made the decision to seek some help and also bar myself from over the counter TABs in South Australia and at the time all it did was increase my online betting. I closed all my accounts. I found friends to do it for me. The cycle continues. Until now that is.

I have enough self control that I only ever Gamble once all of my bills are paid and there is food on my table. Although the money I gamble with is my recreational or left over money when I think about all of the things I could do with that money instead its frustrating.

Either way. 2023 onwards no more sports betting.

That'll do for my first post. Ill be posting weekly updates on my progress. I dont take the above very lightly. Ill be taking life one day at a time and who knows... Maybe, Just Maybe we might make it out of 2023 alive!

Much love.

[theangelshavethephonebox]

"I keep remembering all the people I've killed. Everyday I think of more. I didn't think I even knew their names. Being bad... Being bad drowned them out"

This implies she killed people before she went bad. Or, perhaps, that she simply Lost people, and remembering them hurt, and being bad drowned out the hurt and the guilt and the pain.

(stares at the Deca, especially Rallon and Millennia) 👀👀

[mirkwoodmunson]

eddie munson x gn!reader

tw: bad dreams, anxiety, drug use (weed), implied to take place post vol2 (fixit)

The bad dreams never seem to make sense, but they’re always sad. There’s always something laced in them that, when you wake up, makes you wake feeling that hollowness in your gut. You always wake up from them with tears in your eyes, and as bright as the sun may be when it greets you and reassures you things are okay, you still feel clouds keeping you in their shadow.

It’s taken time, but you’ve learned ways to counteract it — methods of finding small joys to balance out that weight, lighten your steps as you go through their motions throughout the day.

Today it’s early in the morning when you pull in a sharp breath, eyes popping open and cutting the bad dream short. You’d checked your hands — too many fingers — a dream, and suddenly you were able to ground yourself in your consciousness, blinking away the sleep as you breathed out slowly and carefully sat up.

You make sure you haven’t disturbed Eddie and sure enough, the boy is still fast asleep. However, whether it was how you moved or that he could sense somewhere in there that you were awake, Ed throws an arm across your lap and nuzzles himself into your side with a groggy moan, snuffling as his mess of hair hides his face.

A warmth spreads through your chest, makes restless muscles melt, and you let yourself just sit there like that for a moment. Eddie snoring softly into your hip, holding onto you even in his sleep, as you look down at him with bliss in your eyes and a hand carefully stroking his hair.

‘Sweet boy…’ you think, and it makes your smile grow.

When the restlessness in your legs becomes a little too much for you to stay still, you veeeeery carefully slide out from under his arm, shuffling your way out of bed and then tip-toeing when you reach the floor. He protests this all in his sleep, grumbling and muttering nonsense until he’s found your pillow to cuddle instead. Your first stop is the dresser, rummaging through Eddie’s Drawer of Wonders until you find his cigarette case, this one housing pre-rolled joints. You pull one out and pluck it between your fingers before putting the case away. A light kiss is pecked to Eddie’s forehead, who in turn fusses lightly in his sleep. A wide smile aches your jaw and you laugh softly before heading out of the bedroom and to the kitchen, pulling one of Wayne’s ratty old sweaters that he’d given to you around your shoulders with the joint now stuck between your lips.

Outside of the bedroom you gently close the door behind you, before falling into a routine that you’d developed since you’d started spending more time with the Munson boys — one that especially helped after rough nights like this latest one.

Wayne — as he’d begun doing a few weeks after you started staying over — had started a pot of coffee for you upon returning home early this morning from his shift, the heat still on to keep it warm for you. Glancing from the kitchen at the foldout bed in the living room/Wayne’s room, you could see the man himself sprawled out and dead asleep, and certainly you could hear him snoring away. Eddie had coffee some mornings, finishing about half a mug of pitch black if he did, before forgetting it somewhere; then he’d come back to it much too long later and somehow still be surprised when it was cold coffee that hit his lip. Most of the time, however, he would just steal sips from yours upon first morning greetings, masking his morning breath with your sweet drink before kissing you with a loud smooch.

You pour yourself a mug, adjusting it to your liking, and with the joint still poking from your lips and a steaming mug of coffee in your hands you step out onto the front step.

The early hour air is crisp and slightly damp but not enough to bother, more-so it helps to further clear your mind and bring you to focus. The birds sing and traffic sounds from the road over are gentle enough, people making their way into work. You settle onto the stoop and breathe in deep through your nose, coffee sat beside you, trusting your sweater to provide as your rummage through a pocket — grinning triumphantly when it does and you pull out a lighter.

A few flicks of the lighter as you burn the tip of the joint away, puffing gently to get the herb going until it’s ready for the first full hit. You hold it in your chest, eyes slipping closed until you can’t keep it any longer and it’s exhaled in a long, thick plume. You feel it sink in, your body physically beginning to unknot and relax, and you dab the joint out for now, setting it aside in favor of your mug of coffee.

Across the dirt road a door swings open and slams shut, Max trotting down the steps of her trailer. She knows she’ll see you there, looking over with purpose and offering you a little smile and wave when she indeed spots you, before heading for the bus stop by the main road. You smile back and nod. Small joys. When you looked hard enough they were everywhere.

You’re out on the steps for maybe fifteen minutes, mug half gone and burnt joint sat beside it. Behind you, the door latch clicks carefully and you couldn’t help the wide smile if you wanted to. Eddie leans down and smooches your hair before ruffling it, a mug of coffee in his grasp that he balances as he moves to sit beside you, sharing with you the blanket he has around his shoulder.

“Hey, babe,” you greet softly, sweetly, returning a kiss to his cheek once he’s settled into your side, smiling into each other as he brings the blanket around your shoulders.

“G’mornin’,” he returns drowsily, slurping from his mug but quickly offering his opinion in the form of a scowl. You laugh lightly and pass him your mug, which he takes with a little ‘ooh!’ and sips from quickly — this time smacking his lips. You pass him the joint after and he sparks it, hissing in a hit and humming when he breathes it back out.

The two of you soak up the other’s aura like that for a bit, nestled together with the blanket pulled around your backs, Eddie’s arm now wound around your waist and holding you to him. He breaks the silence with a kiss to your temple, and you giggle as the force of it makes you crane your neck.

“Bad dream again?”

You nod a little, “yeah. The one with the, uh — remember I told you about that one I have a lot where I’m, like… like I have to lock all the doors up?”

“Shit, yeah, an’ you’re trying to hide and stuff, right?” he nudges his nose into you and leaves himself there, giving you his presence and basking in yours. You lean into him, pouting softly.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m trying to lock everything up and get to safety… but it doesn’t work…” You lower your head and more kisses are offered to you, laid over your cheek and temple and forehead, and you feel yourself relaxing into Eddie, slowly resting your head in the crook of his shoulder. He brings his hand up from your side and carefully, gently strokes your hair back. Your eyes flutter shut with the soothing gesture, and you’re reminded just how much good sleep you lose when you have these dreams.

“Y’know,” Eddie begins, barely above a murmur with his lips brushing the skin of your forehead. “You can always wake me up. I won’t be upset. If I can help, I mean… I wanna help.” He leans you away a little to look at you, you at him, and his expression is an almost stern concern. “I don’t — … I just, would hate myself, if you ever felt like you’re alone when I’m right next to you. Know what I mean?”

You look at Eddie, just look at him, for a few seconds. You wonder — truly wonder — how anyone could have believed this boy holding you right now was a bringer of evil. ‘Satanist,’ they would spit at him. They still weren’t over it. It put such a heaviness on your heart that you got to see him like this, and they never would. They would never try to understand. Eddie was just, good. Eddie was kind. Eddie was brave. Eddie was strong, brilliant, chaotic, calming, charming, funny — Eddie was everything they could never hope to be. And how was it that he could still give that all to you, despite what they all said? How was it, that he could keep his smile? Keep joking and laughing and sharing all his hidden parts when you wanted him to show them. ‘What they think? Show them that’s not you, show them they’re wrong, Eds.’ And he would say, every time, ‘I don’t need to. ‘Cause they don’t matter.’

Really, all that mattered to Eddie? That was you. Yours was the only opinion that he cared for, yours was the only response he cared to hear, your thoughts and your dreams and your everything — Eddie didn’t need to correct anyone else when you knew, and that was enough for him. Everything else was just background static.

“Y-yeah…” you croak, unaware of the tightness in your throat till now. Eddie softens immediately. You both share that look again, and when you start to cry Eddie does a little chuckle and pulls you into him and holds you against his chest. Rocks with you and murmurs comforts into your ear. ‘I know what you mean, Eds…’

[xxiamtiebrousxx]

just saw your yandere request and thought "what if their crush is the yandere this time, while they are completely normal but is fine with it? XD". Is it fine to get a headcanon for that?

Oh this is going to be fun! Trigger Warning: Mentions of murder and drugging.

What the Mercs Would Do if You Were Yandere and They're Perfectly Fine With It

Scout:

You knew him from when you were kids. You always liked how he tried hard and never got any attention. You wanted to give him all of your attention.

You took him to a ballgame, spiked his Bonk, and took him to this place with small rooms. At first he was scared and would spend his days hurt and tied up, but he got used to your yandere acts. In fact, he started to like them. A lot. You two now sleep with your hands chained together.

For fun, you kidnapped Tom Jones and brought him over to perform for Scout so you could prove your love. The singer ended up six feet under after that. You share Bonk together with straws, you feed Scout with a spoon. If he disobeys, which he barely does, you have to drug him up with something that gives him nightmares so he learns to listen.

You like admiring his hands. You weren't used to seeing them unwrapped. They were large. You shower him in the tub like a mother would wash her baby. Pauling once came over to get Scout back on the team. You chained him to the wall and Pauling was never heard from or seen again. You allow Spy, Scout's ma and his brothers to call.

"We're childhood sweethearts forever and ever."

"You got that right."

Soldier:

Neck snaps, that's how it happened. You witnessed several people being killed like that by Soldier. You were astonished by the very act. It seemed so patriotic, so Soldier of him to do that. It's something you picked up when you went crazy.

You snapped the necks of every teammate and kidnapped Soldier. You took him to a hidden facility located underground. He was excited and let you do whatever you wanted. All he asks is that he has some honey when you chain him up.

You love to mess around with Soldier's helmet. You put it on to fed or wash him. He likes it when you pretend to be like him. He even shares his honey with you. As a treat, you take him out to see his favorite places where famous battles took place. If people try to find him, like Merasmus, you have the honor of snapping their necks.

"You mean more to me than America now!"

"Heh, love you Solly."

Pyro:

You were both crazy. You both wanted to kidnap and lock each other up so you could spend eternity together.

You both spiked each other's drink, so you went nowhere since everyone was passed out. Pyro spends time with you. He doesn't do or go anywhere without you. If someone tries to get him to leave, you give them a good old knuckle sandwich. You giggle when you fed Pyro through his mask.

You love playing dolls with him, which you end up setting on fire. You pretend to comb his "hair," brush his teeth, and tuck him into bed. You treat him like a kid. If he wants to go out, you carry a gun, drug the team, and give Pyro his leashed backpack so he can't run from you.

"Mmphmmph!"

"Mmphmmph to you buddy."

Engineer:

It was his singing. Engineer captivated you with his singing. It was like watching "Phantom of the Opera" but instead you were the Phantom and he was Christine.

He willingly went with you to an undisclosed location. You blindfolded him and took his truck. You had to murder some people on the way. Engie helped you hid the bodies. You keep him in one room. He is allowed to roam the house. Outside, there is a fence and a guard dog so he can't leave. But why would he want to? He loves being with you.

You love singing songs with Engineer. He plays well and has a beautiful voice. He likes it when you tie him up to feed him. He cleans you up after you have an encounter with unlikable people trying to find Engie. Pyro is the only one allowed to call him. If anyone else makes a call, you hunt them down and make them forget.

"You're my honey bee."

"And you're my sugar plum."

Demo:

You were assistant to Merasmus and met Demo when he came to work for the wizard when he was young. You were a slave to Merasmus. Demo became your friend. You murdered Merasmus so you could be with Demoman.

You learned magic and brought Demo to the newly refurbished castle. You provide him with food and scrumpy through your magic. The bombinomicon was the one responsible for taking Demo's eye, so you destroyed the book. He was happy about that. His mother moved in, you didn't mind. She was glad he had someone. You even disintegrated the Administrator for ruining Demo's relationship with the Soldier from the enemy team. That soldier is allowed to make calls.

You love giving Demo his scrumpy through a baby's bottle. You even pat his back so he can burp. You two watch "Ghost D.A" on the couch, which Demo is tied to. You always have your arm around his shoulder. He usually drools on you, which you think is cute.

"It was a good idea to get the job from the wizard, eh."

"I'm glad you thought it was a good idea."

Heavy:

You adored this gentle giant. He was caring and friendly towards you. You liked this so much, you managed to enchant him with your kindness.

It was hard to drug or force Heavy to come with you. You never left at all. You still stayed in the base, but he stays close. The others think it's weird you fed him like a baby. So it doesn't get stranger, you do nothing else. If someone talks bad about Heavy, you beat them up until they're blue. You snap at anyone attempting to talk to him.

You love hugging Heavy. He's so big and huggable! He loves hugging you too. He allows you to cuff his feet to the bed so you can hug him. You also give him back rubs and massages. If he's stressed, you'll give him one. You let his family visit him, but they get a limit. If they overstay their time, you drug them and make them sleep in the medbay.

"Heavy loves leetle treatment."

"I'm glad you're loving it!"

Sniper:

He was shy and you didn't like that. You forced him to be social and afterwards he got a girlfriend, who turned out to be an abuser and began to beat him.

He didn't deserve to be abused. You blamed yourself for getting him into that situation. So you hunted down his girlfriend, murdered and buried her. You took Sniper to an abandoned warehouse. You tended to his injuries while he was chained up. He actually likes it when you ramble about him, makes him feel cared for. You feed him when he's not feeling it and you wash him when he begs. He'll asks for kisses, which you give.

You love taking him to see sunsets. He always brings you back a necklace of flowers or a feather for you. His ex's father wanted revenge and managed to find you. You were able to beat him. You tied him to a chair and gave him some beatings. You let Sniper finish him off because the father was just as bad as his daughter. You had a fun night that night.

"Glad you made me a talker, otherwise Oi wouldn't be here."

"I'd do it all over again."

Medic:

It was his craziness. You absolutely loved it! He was maniacal, crazy like you! You wanted it all to yourself!

You drugged Medic and drove him far away. He woke up, smiling widely. You had taken Archimedes, but if he gets to comfy around Medic, he ends up with a broken wing. Medic likes it when he disobeys because it means you punish him. He heals himself so no need for the medigun, unless you get hurt.

Medic loves it when you strap him to the table or bed. He chuckles when you join him. You feed him like that. Sometimes he sleeps strapped down. It allows you to smother him with kisses. He washes himself. You allow him to have his privacy. If anyone intrudes, the two of you have a nice test subject to operate on.

"Sweet täubchen, what did I do to deserve jou?"

"You're a crazy doc, that's what you did."

Spy:

Your sister was Scout's ma and you didn't like how she kicked Spy out of the house when he tried to come back. So you drugged her, took her car, and followed Spy back to Teufort. You had known each other since he walked into your sister's life. You were there for the wedding and birth of your nephew.

Spy was in love with you from the start and you were intensely infatuated with him. After he went willingly with you to your house in the middle of no where, you became the romantic one. You were the one who took him out for dinner, of course after threatening the owners and killing some of the cooks, replacing them with your own guys, who were found behind a dumpster after the date.

You love caressing his face. Spy's so handsome without the mask. He disobeys on purpose so you can chain his arm to the bed. That's when you two kiss passionately. He does that so that can happen. You take turns showering each other, feeding each other, etc. If he listens, he can call his son, but only once every two months. After that, you drug Spy up and move to a new location.

"I should have married you instead."

"Definitely."

BONUS

Miss Pauling:

You were the Scout of an elite team and were given a mission with Pauling. She was amazing! You didn't know why the Administrator or your team disrespected her! She liked how you actually cared about her.

You drugged your team and the Administrator, Pauling was getting abused, mentally. You felt bad and angry. So she followed you into a small house where you now live. She was actually content being kidnapped, even though she went with you willingly. She doesn't mind when you torture people the Administrator sends to rescue her assistant. She doesn't need to be chained up or anything for disobeying because she listens. Pauling will request getting tied to the bed when it comes to sleeping next to you.

You love cuddling in the most awkward positions, for example, wrapping your entire body around her like a snake. The two of you watch as rescue attempts are made and the heroes are murdered violently, sometimes by your hand. Her favorite part is when you tie her to a chair. You sit on her lap and run your fingers through her hair as she smiles at you.

"I'm glad we went on that mission."

"I am too, Y/n."

[helliontherapscallion]

Stressful Spectres (Sweet Betrayal Part 3)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 4

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse/neglect, mentions of death, slight body gore, blood

Word count: 2,873

With hands tightly clasped behind your back, you tensely paced around your office. The Pogtopians were constantly being sighted around the borders of Manberg and it was your job to prevent this. You tried everything; setting up traps, luring mobs around the vicinity, nothing worked. They just kept coming back like pesky cockroaches following pheromones. The only way you’d be able to prevent them from spying into the borders was to rebuild a wall, and Schlatt would turn your idea down the second the word ‘wall’ would leave your mouth. He gave you only two days to completely figure everything out from the last time one of the cowards was spotted running from the borders, and it seems that those two days are nearly up. 

“You should take a break, (y/n).” Without looking at him, you kept pacing and ignored him. “Stop ignoring me, you know I don’t like when you do that… Please, take a break. I’m worried about you,” he sounded just like he did from before. You felt your eye twitch. 

“...(Y/n), remember what I used to sing to you?” He chuckled, the sound being airy and far off, “‘hey hobo man, hey dapper Dan-’”

“Shut the fuck up!” You grabbed your vase and hurled it blindly in his direction. The glass shattered against the wall and you heard nothing else from the teenager. “I don’t need you anymore.” He had been visiting you for the past week or so, ever since Schlatt found out about you taking your birthday off. You were banned from speaking to the Badlanders and got a few physical punishments that would definitely give you more scars on your arms. It was your fault anyways, you were slacking off during a war when you were one of the leaders of this country.

Your door opened when you were mid pace, making you plaster a strained smile on your face and spin around to narrow your eyes at whomever decided to not knock. You were greeted by a slightly buzzed ram hybrid raising an eyebrow at you. He must’ve just started drinking. 

Whenever he was only slightly buzzed or on the very rare chance he was sober, he was the most affectionate with you. It wasn’t much, only small praises and the occasional smile, but by Ender you ate it up like you were a drug addict getting their first hit in months. You craved any type of affection, no matter where it came from or how rarely it came. You were willing to wait for it, even if it was rare. 

His amber gaze flicked around the room before it landed on the ceramic shards embedded into the carpet. He jutted his chin towards it, “fuck happen there?” 

You ran your hand down your face and massaged your aching cheeks, “nothing. Just thought I saw a rat, but my mind was just playing tricks on me.” His calculating gaze pierced through you like a spear before he narrowed his eyes slightly and nodded. He walked over to the window and looked out at the vast city, hands neatly clasped behind his back. “...Have you come up with a solution to our... problem?”

You sighed angrily and resumed your pacing, “I’ve tried everything. They just dismantle the traps I set up, kill the mobs I lure around it, they even killed the iron golems! The only option here is to put up the walls again.” 

“I know you didn’t just say what I thought you fuckin said,” Schlatt hissed out, “there’s no way in hell I’m putting up those walls again.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do then, that’s our only option,” you mumbled under your breath only to freeze when Schlatt stomped up to you. He spun you around and grabbed your shoulders, leaning close to your face. His breath smelled like tobacco and a hint of scotch, “are you questioning my authority?” You shook your head frantically. “Really? Cuz it sure sounds like you’re questioning my authority. You seem to forget that I’m your boss and you will treat me as such. Do you understand me?”

You nodded and he let you go, slightly shoving you off to the side as he walked past you. “I-I’m sorry, Dad.” He paused in your doorway, “don’t call me that. I don’t want to be the father of someone that constantly contradicts me. I’ll be back in an hour, you better have this shit figured out by the time I get back or I swear to Ender I’ll fire your sorry ass. You’re on thin ice, (y/n).” Without a second word he left your office, the sound of his dress shoes clanking against the tile fading down the hallway. 

You could feel your heart break inside of your chest and your lungs get deflated by the shards piercing them. He was the last person that actually loved you, and you fucked it up. You always fuck everything up, you supposed that it was an innate part of you. No matter what you did or what you tried, you’re always going to be a fuck up. 

No, you can’t just sit here and ponder all of your life’s mistakes; you need to be brainstorming before you lose your connection to the person you loved the most. You paced around your office endlessly murmuring to yourself. You knew he was watching you pace again standing off in the corner, the room felt off like it always did whenever he was there. You ignored him and continued your pacing. 

Just as you came up with a solution, your door was opened and Schlatt stepped into your office once more. He was swaying slightly on his feet and his suit jacket was unbuttoned. “You figure something out?” 

You put a confident smile on your face, “yes. I think we should send patrols around the border, and I think the Badlanders and Rutabagaville members would fare nicely. We can send them in groups of two and send them once in the morning, afternoon, evening, and night.” 

He nodded to himself, satisfied. “That sounds like a decent plan, you’re keeping your job for now. But don’t think I’ll forget about what you said earlier.”

You felt extremely relieved and grinned at him, “yessir. I apologize for that once again, it just-”

“Save it, you’re still on thin fucking ice… Don’t look at me like that, ya smiling freak. Your face is absolutely disgusting.” You dropped your smile and looked at your slightly scarred fingers. Light pink raised scars littered your skin in random amounts along your right arm, leading up your neck, and becoming the most concentrated on the entirety of the right side of your face. You avoided looking in the mirror, mostly out of anger because your appearance was a constant reminder of the stain your ‘brothers’ left on your life. You were still adjusting to having a blind spot in your vision, the eye having lost its sight and now a cloudy white color from the fireworks. Your eyelid on that side was permanently half-lidded, unable to open up fully even if you tried. 

You were fully aware that your appearance was… unsightly, to say the least, to everybody that looked at you (yourself included), but Schlatt was one that never cringed away from you. Hell, even Quackity (the mere mention of his name made icy betrayal wash over your entire body) avoided looking at you in the first few weeks of your injury. Schlatt was the one that loved you for who you were, scars and all, and you fucked it up. 

He squinted at you, his eyelids blocking everything with the exception of his rectangular pupils. A snort left his lips before he moved to leave you to your own devices. “I’ll inform the others of their new duties, get your paperwork done.” 

“Yessir.” 

You sat down at your desk chair with a sigh and rubbed at your aching cheeks before you picked up your pen and started on your paperwork. Well, it was yours with the exception of Schlatt’s thrown about occasionally in piles. The room was engulfed into an uncomfortable chill once more, he’s back. You honestly have no idea why he just keeps coming back to you or even if his pale spectre was just a stress induced hallucination. He just showed up in your office one day saying that he’s been looking everywhere for you. He acted and looked exactly like he did before he left, except his attitude was strangely chipper for someone that had an iron pickaxe buried deep within their forehead. 

“(Y/n), I’m back!” He sang, floating over to your desk. “Geez, that goat guy is a real jerk isn’t he?” His slightly glowing hand appeared in your vision and tried to pluck the pen out of your grasp. It swiped right through your hand, making you shiver at the uncomfortable feeling. “I’m still not used to that.”

You huffed and focused more on your paperwork. You could feel the chill getting closer, leading up to the point where he was directly behind you. The icy air gusted down your neck with every breath he exhaled. “Whatcha workin on?” He whispered in your ear. 

“Nothing that you need to worry about.” 

“So they speak! I was worried you went completely mute… Well, you did scream at me before, but I didn’t count that. That’s okay though, I knew I could get you to talk to me sooner or later. I’m irresistible, you remember how I was with the ladies.” 

“Fuck off.”

“No need to be so mean to me.” You focused on your paperwork again, furrowing your brows and trying to tune him out. “(Yyyyyyy/nnnnn), you can’t ignore little ole me forever.” 

“I can and I will.”

He gasped before laughter streamed from his lips, the sound being muffled since it was on your deaf side. “You just talked to me though! I think that’s a win for me. Do you remember when-”

“I swear to Ender, if another word comes out of your mouth I’ll make sure that the next pickaxe finds its home through your tongue and down your throat.” 

He was silent after that, leaving you to your paperwork. At least, that was until someone knocked on your office door. You sighed before plastering a smile on your face, “come in.” Your door opened to reveal the signature white smiley face mask, messy blond hair, and green hoodie.

Dream had been giving you small lessons on your swordsmanship lately, and you were getting better with each passing lesson. You were proficient on defense, so it was time for you to learn how to offensively attack. 

You saw that he placed an apple on your desk. You looked up at him in confusion. “What? You haven’t eaten anything all day, I don’t want you passing out or anything during our lesson.”

“Finally! Someone with actual sense around here! It’s so refreshing, isn’t it (y/n)? Well, it’s refreshing for me anyways.” 

Dream chuckled, “thank you.” 

Wait a damn minute.

Dream could hear him?!

Your pen froze mid sentence and rested on the paper, it’s ink pooling in one place. You slowly looked up at Dream, “you can hear him?” He looked at the teenager behind you before looking back at you, his head tilting. “Of course I can. He’s right there.” 

“Yeah (y/n), I’m right here. My name’s Lucius by the way, it’s nice to meet you!” He floated over to Dream and held out his hand, the pickaxe handle almost hitting the taller male in the chest. Dream stepped back slightly and nodded, “Dream. Eat that apple fast, we don’t have all day.” You snapped out of your stupor and grabbed the apple, taking absentminded bites while staring at your dead best friend talking animatedly to the masked man. 

So he was real after all. You were worried something might have actually been wrong with you for a moment! It was nice to know that you weren’t completely insane. 

“...meet (y/n)?” 

“Oh, I’m training them at the moment, would you like to watch?” 

“Yes! That sounds exciting, doesn’t it (y/n)?” The two looked at you expectantly, Dream’s head tilting slightly and Lucius smiling widely at you. You swallowed your bite and nodded, throwing the apple core into your trash bin. “...Yeah. Yeah it does. Uh, I’m going to get changed and then we can start our session.” 

After you got changed, you met with the two outside your door and walked out of the White House to the training grounds. The entire time you were walking, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Lucius. Every time he would turn his head, the pickaxe would move with it. The crusted blood that emanated from the wound and splattered down his pale face was perhaps the darkest color on him with the exception of his jet black hair. 

In a strange way, it wasn’t the blood or the pickaxe protruding from his head that disturbed you the most; it was his eyes. Of course they still crinkled at the edges when he smiled, but it just wasn’t the same. The black eyes that were once so full of life were a dull gray with milky pupils. 

Other than the obvious pickaxe, blood, dead eyes, and constant glowing, he looked exactly like he did before he died. His baggy sweater, albeit mudstained and wrinkled, was still a salmon color with its signature pinstripes. The mop of straight black hair was still pulled into a bun with multiple unruly strands escaping the elastic and framing his face.

Before you knew it, a pale hand was waving in your face. “Earth to (y/n)! Oh good, you’re back to the land of the living! What’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Well, I mean you were just staring at me, but my point still stands.”

You moved your gaze to the dirt path, “it’s nothing, I’ll tell you later.” He huffed, but didn’t say anything else to you for the rest of the trip. Instead, he was making small comments on your surroundings. 

Eventually, you were across from Dream on the training arena holding a wooden sword in front of you defensively. Lucius was sitting in the grass a little ways away from the painted boundaries with one foot over the other and his elbows resting on his knees propping his chin up. He was watching with an intensity he always had whenever you were doing something he deemed ‘dangerous’. To be fair, sparring with the most skilled member on the server was fairly dangerous.

“Let’s see if you remember what I taught you last time.” Without giving you a warning, he charged at you with his own wooden sword raised. Your sword clashed with his and you pushed against him. The mask moved upwards on his face slightly, “good, but always expect the unexpected.” 

With a simple sweep of his foot, you were on the ground gasping for air. You could faintly hear Lucius suck in air between his teeth before he shouted “you’re doing great, sweetie, but do better!”

Thanks, Lucius. Very motivating.

You rolled away from Dream’s foot before he could pin you to the floor. Your mind flashed back to when Techno- no. None of that, you need to focus. You got back onto your feet in the blink of an eye and dodged another blow. You used his momentum against him, stepping away at the right moment sending him skidding to a stop. 

Before long, he had you on the floor again with the tip of the sword pressing into your chest. He relaxed before helping you up, “you did better than I thought you would, but there were still some obvious flaws in what you did. Using my momentum against me was smart, but with what you did the opponent would recover fast. Here, let me show you how to properly do that.” 

You improved on a few things defensively and learned a few things offensively before the sun started to set and cast shadows on the surrounding forest. Dream shook your hand, “nice work today, you’re gonna rival even the best eventually.”

“You were great, (y/n)! I didn’t know you had it in you!” I didn’t have it in me when you were alive, you mentally corrected him. “Thanks, Lucius.” You glanced at him only to be met with his body phasing through yours in an attempted hug. He fell to the ground and rolled over, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’ll never get used to that.” 

Dream snorted before he shoved his hands into his pockets and started to nonchalantly walk back towards the White House. You and Lucius looked at each other before you ran to catch up with him. Lucius floated next to you, examining the dirt on your exposed arms and the forming bruises on your calves. He wrinkled his nose, “you really need a shower.” 

“Well I can’t exactly strip now and find a shower in the woods, can I Lucius?” 

“You just reek.”

“Yeah, you kinda do.”

“Thanks Lucius, Dream. Really feeling the love.” 

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GN reader taglist (comment if you want to be added):

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Series taglist (comment if you want to be added):

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[inkandpen22]

The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 3)

Pairing: JJ x Female!Reader / Topper x Female!Reader 

Warnings: underage drinking, mild swearing, mentions of drugs 

Words count: 2k (it’s short but the next part is long) 

Part Summary: As the night dwindles away, JJ feels pressured to secure a place in your life. His chances grow times ten when Sarah arrives with some interesting news. 

Masterlist

You and JJ share a log around the fire. His arm rests over your thigh, his hand gripping your knee slightly. Your chin rests on his shoulder as you two exchange whisper back and forth, making the Pogues sick with how lovey-dovey you two already are becoming. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” JJ asks, kinda hoping he could ask you for real date but he’ll understand if you already have plans. 

“Hanging out with you,” you cheekily answer, earning a blushing grin from him. 

“Oh! cool, cool...” He presses his lips together with a faint laugh, finding it hard to hide his childish grin. 

You giggle at his bashfulness. He’s so shy around you and you can’t help but find it adorable. 

"Here comes Sarah!" Kiara announces as he spots their friend's car rolling up the drive. 

You and JJ finally break your hype-focused attention away from each other. Almost to make up for the lack of verbal communication, JJ shifts closer to you and plants a quick peck to your temple. 

"Hey! Sorry for the delay!" Sarah announces as she walks over from her car. John B rises from his position, trying to intercept Sarah before she sees you and JJ. Once she reaches John B, she notices how you and JJ are sitting. Her brows scrunch together, but she does her best to mask her confusion. "My parents were having a hissy fit about me borrowing the car. I told them and Y/N's parents that we were staying the night at Kiara's since she doesn't feel well. I hope that's okay, Kie," she asks as she gets closer to the bonfire. 

"Yeah, no problem!" Kiara waves her hand, not caring at all. 

"Wait, so what's the game plan?" You ask Sarah, but also everyone else for their input. You're thankful for the group's help, but weren't exactly prepared for an overnight stay. You understand why Sarah did this nonetheless. 

"You all can stay here tonight," John B shrugs as the Pogues do it all the time. 

"Your parents believed it," Sarah assures you. "I would just text your parents to help it seem more legit." 

"Okay! I'll text my mom," you comply with enthusiasm. 

Hey, I told Sarah to tell you but in case she didn't, we're staying over at Kiara's tonight. I had to drive her home in her dad's car because we think she got food poisoning or something. I'll text you when I'm heading out in the morning. Sarah can drive me home or something :)

"Finally! It'll be nice not being the only girl! I was kinda hoping you and Sarah would stay over anyway," Kiara adds, offering you a kind smile. 

"That makes two of us," JJ whispers for only you to hear. 

"My folks were pretty pissed about me ditching on the party, so I feel no urge on going home," Sarah huffs, right as John B asks for her to help him inside real quick. 

You and JJ watch as John B escorts Sarah inside by the arm. They try to be nonchalant, but it's so obvious they're freaking out. Sarah's whispers aren't exactly quiet and John B's doing his best to fill her in on what he knows. 

JJ turns his face toward yours with a smirk, suppressing his laughter. "They're definitely talking about us." 

"Oh for sure!" You nod slowly with a snicker. 

You two share in your amusement as your friends slowly lose their minds. A Pogue from The Cut was caught kissing the Princess of the OBX. If your friends from the other side of the island found out they would have an even more dramatic reaction. 

Your phone buzzes in your lap and it's from your mom. 

Ok. Text me when you wake up. 

"All set!" You voice to everyone remaining around the fire. "I doubt they'll even care since "I'm still on the Figure 8,” you make air quotes. 

"Yay!" Kiara claps her hands. 

"I say we watch a scary movie tonight!" JJ suggests beside you. 

"The Conjuring!" You vote swiftly, earning a laugh from JJ. 

"No!" Pope instantly refuses. "Nope! Last time we watched that you guys made me sleep on the porch and I heard creeks all night!" 

"Aw, I'll stay with you tonight Pope," Kiara offers, reaching for her friend's hand with a pout. "I'll keep you safe from all the ghosties." 

JJ leans in brushes his lips against your ear. "You gonna keep me safe?" 

You smile softly, turning your head toward him as you nod slowly. "I'll have your back if you have mine." 

His beautiful eyes meet yours in the gold flickering light of the fire. "Always, Baby." He plants a kiss to your lips, this time slow and comforting, as though you two have been doing it forever. 

___________________________________________________________

All six of you are gathered in the living room, watching The Conjuring. John B and JJ insisted that all lights in the house must be off, much to Pope's dismay. Kiara and Pope are positioned on the carpet, their backs against the couch. Pope has been hiding in a ball with his face behind the blanket he shares with Kiara. Sarah and John B are sprawled comfortably on the couch, well invested in the movie. You and JJ share the old red recliner, tucked close in a ball under a comforter. Right before the movie starts to get interesting, you shift forward in your position. JJ whines, disappointed in the loss of contact. His pouty face makes you giggle and he playfully tries to keep you close by holding onto your wrist. 

"I need another drink, anyone else?" You offer quietly, making sure not to step on Kiara or Pope on the floor on the way to the kitchen. You receive various forms of declines as you do your best to navigate your way through the dark and unfamiliar house. 

Finally finding yourself in the kitchen, you make yourself a glass of water. The moonlight shining through the window over the sink acts as your saving grace. Suddenly, you feel a pair of arms slip around your waist, causing you to jump. 

"Hey, Gorgeous," the blonde whispers against your neck. 

"JJ!" You gasp your heart racing. 

"Did I scare you?" He chuckles quietly to not alert the others. 

You spin in his hold and nudge him on the shoulder playfully. "You did that on purpose!"

"Not really but-" In one swift motion, JJ picks up and places you on the counter. He parts your legs to stand between them. His palms glide up and down your thighs. "That I did mean to do," he smirks, biting down on his lip. 

"JJ! Y/N! You're going to miss the wardrobe part!" Pope shouts, his voice shaky with fear. 

"I wish I had spoken to you sooner," JJ confesses abruptly, completely his friend in the next room. All he cares about right now is you. 

"Dido," you smirk, placing your arms over JJ's shoulders. 

"Really?" He voices in disbelief. Despite how much you've reassured him or have reciprocated his affections, he still isn't convinced that you truly like him. 

"That first time I saw you at the Cameron's?" You recall with raised brows. "Um, yeah! You looked hot in that pale green Ron Jon shirt." 

"I can't believe you remember that," he shakes his head, leaning in closer to you. I thought there was no way you'd know who I am." 

"JJ," you say his name in a mild groan with a toss of your head. How can this boy not see how amazing he is? "You're definitely worth remembering." 

"It was at the Boneyard," he states a matter-of-factly. 

"What was?" You grin. 

"The first time I ever saw you," he tilts his head back slightly, relieving his sharp jawline. "You were dancing with Topper on the wall. The fire made your skin glow and shimmer like bronze. You wore a navy blue bikini with ripped white booty shorts. Your hair was half up and all I could think about was how much I wanted to run my fingers through it. You were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen," he tells you, never once breaking eye contact. 

"That was last summer!" You can't believe he remembers that. 

"I know," he replies as though it's completely ordinary. 

Your jaw drops, "you're saying you've been waiting to talk to me for a year?!" 

"Okay well, when you put it that way," he tries to play it off and be cool now. 

"Aw JJ!" You express a little too excitedly, bringing your hands to his cheeks. 

JJ is quick to press his hand over your mouth. "Shh, Baby. Before you alert everyone in the living room!" Mischievously, you plant a kiss on his palm, catching him off guard. JJ swallows hard, peering down at you with hooded eyes.  "Okay, now you're just teasing me." 

You place your hand over his and remove it from your mouth. "You make it too easy," you giggle in a whisper. 

JJ simply stares down at your lips as he bites down on his own. Before you have a chance to react, he hungrily presses his lips to yours. Ever kiss up until now has been gentle, new, and hesitant. Now, JJ is forgetting his nerves and is acting on impulse. He breaks away from you and moves his assault to your neck. You comb your fingers through his thick blonde hair, gripping the strands on the back of his neck. 

"JJ," you pant breathlessly as your eyes fall shut. "What are you doing?" 

"Making up for lost time," he breathes against your neck. I'm really kicking myself right now." 

"It's my fault too," you try to speak as JJ makes a track down your neck to your collarbone. "I could've at least said 'hi' instead of smiling like an idiot." 

"At least you were nice," JJ mumbles against your chest. "I was a statue. Plus, I always thought you and Rafe may be-"

"Ew! Don't even finish that sentence," you scoff in disgusts. 

"You were always at the Cameron's. He's always on top of you and watches you like a hawk," JJ explains as he pops up for air. 

"He's had a thing for me for a while now. I've turned him down," you inform him.  

JJ frowns in confusion. "Why?" 

You figured it would've been obvious, especially considering how much JJ hates Rafe. "He's an arrogant ass. He thinks he's invincible and I hate people like that." 

"Well, you can tell him you're taken now," JJ grins, leaning in to kiss you. 

"Oh, I am?" You question playfully against his lips. 

"Yep," the boy nods as he begins to glide his lips across your jawline. "You're mine... and only mine..." He whispers, making you bite your lip with anticipation. Boy, this kid knows how to get you turned on. "I'll make sure everyone in the OBX knows it too," he declares as he starts to suck on the sensitive skin on your neck. At the rate JJ is going, he's certain to leave a mark or two, just as he wanted. 

"You guys!" Kiara calls this time. 

JJ huffs with annoyance as he appears out from your neck. "Coming!" He shouts, completely unfazed by what he was just doing. "Got you're so sexy," he plants a quick peck to your lips. "I hope you know I'm going to be dying through this entire movie." 

Ever the gentleman, he grips your waist and helps you down from the counter. He slips his hand into yours and grabs your water with the other before leading the way back into the living room. 

"She couldn't find the sodas in the fridge. I had to grab a new box from the back," he conjures up as you two cross the living room toward the recliner. 

"Sureee," John B and Sarah say in unison with amusement. 

"Sorry guys, what did we miss?" You ask while you and JJ get settled. 

After you take a quick sip from your water, you place it on the side table between the recliner and the couch before getting comfortable again with JJ. 

"Nice water, Y/N." Sarah giggles as she peaks over from the couch at your hand, earning an eye roll from JJ. 

"The crazy demon lady jumped on the daughter. I hate this!" Pope rushes out to answer your question. 

"Oh my God! You're fine, Pope!" Kiara groans, not hiding her annoyance. 

"I wish it wasn't so dark in here!" Pope shouts dramatically. 

"I kinda like it," JJ purrs in your ear. 

You turn your head to the side and he plants a kiss on your lips. As the others watch the movie, you and JJ spend most of the time whispering back and forth or too caught up in each other physically to talk at all. Of course, you two are respectful of your friends and keep it PG. Yet, you can't get enough of each other. It's all so soon, energetic, and freeing. As the thought of tomorrow morning lingers in the back of your mind, you’re starting to dread the idea of parting from JJ. 

__________________________________________________

Masterlist 

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly @cc13723things

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

We've had so much happy sappy things lately. How about some angst? Companions react to sole getting super pissed at them and just leaving forever?

Oh, no..... I knew this was going to come soon enough... All good things must come to an end, after all 😔💙💛

All jokes aside, this literally broke my heart to write, but I very much enjoyed your suggestion for the new perspective it gave and the opportunity to write some good, old-fashioned angst 🥰 I didn't provide an explanation for what they said or what they did to make F!Sole mad, which I hope is okay! (I couldn't picture my F!Sole leaving any of them for any reason but I'm sure everyone's Sole varies in that respect)

Warnings: Light mentions of suicide, heavy mentions of drug and alcohol use.

Cait - Falls back into chems and will likely drug and drink herself to the grave. She can't believe that she went and screwed everything up again. She let down and upset the one person she vowed to never do that to, and now she's alone. Again. She's managed to run off the one person in her whole lifetime that actually cared about her and all she knows is that life is not even really worth living sober if she has to endure pain like this.

Piper - Cries herself to sleep for many nights after and sometimes finds herself crying during the day while she's typing an article or doing small mundane things, her guilt and sadness consuming her. (If F!Sole let her interview her back when she first came to Diamond City) Piper keeps a copy of the View from the Vault articles beside her bed and numbly reads them sometimes before going to sleep just to remind her of the only best friend she had ever had in her life. The only person that had stuck by her and tried to look out for her since her dad. Eventually she stops crying, but it takes a long time for her to rebound and her smile to come back. It never is as bright as it used to be when F!Sole was there, though.

Curie - Breaks her heart and completely destroys her. She cries for days, weeks, forever. All she knows is that there is a huge hole in her heart and she thinks of F!Sole every day. Her humanity is a constant reminder of the great person that she had lost and she will forever blame and kick herself for being so horrible that F!Sole would leave her. Curie will always care about F!Sole even if F!Sole doesn't care about her and Curie will forever miss her.

MacCready - Ends up heading back to go be with Duncan permanently. F!Sole was the only thing keeping him in the Commonwealth but now that he screwed that up, there is no reason left to stay. He was originally going to have his son brought to him as soon as possible, but he decides that they're better off away from where all of the sad memories are lingering. When he returns to his son, he is very happy, but he soon falls into a basic routine, trying to get through his grief of losing a true friend because of his own stupidity. He will eventually come out of the depression, but he will always carry the intense guilt of driving her away for good.

Deacon - Despite the fact that he just continues on with that constant mask of looking like he's just as calm and happy as anyone else, he is hurting deeply on the inside. It is easy to tell because of how he seems even more distant than usual and he very rarely ever comes back to the Railroad HQ. Guilt turns him into someone even more detached than he used to be before she left. However, he sometimes goes undercover just to watch her at a safe enough distance to keep her from recognizing him. After all, he has not changed his face since she left, preferring to keep some souvenir from his time with her. Unfortunately, his face is all he has left of those days.

Codsworth - Is broken-hearted and is at the epitome of guilt because he cannot believe he has made her so mad that she will have nothing more to do with him. He has absolutely no one left to serve and there is no one left who cares about him at all. He ends up falling into a state of denial, somehow glitching and convincing himself that she, sir, and young Shaun are simply away and will come back eventually. He sadly remains in this deluded state for the remainder of his days.

Hancock - Somehow does even more chems than before, knowing it cannot kill him but needing the rush to distract him from the complete and utter pain after sending away one of the few people that actually stood by him through thick and thin. He goes back to being the full-time mayor of Goodneighbor, but when he falls so deeply into the chems, the citizens begin thinking that it would be best to overthrow him. When he figures this out, he knows he has to stop doing the chems quite so much. He cuts back just enough to be coherent and make speeches to inspire people, but anyone can see that he is by no means doing as well as he used to before F!Sole left. At some point he is completely numb and he takes the chems to just feel something besides this deadness inside.

Danse - Is devastated. She is all he had left after being kicked out of the Brotherhood. He can't believe that he drove away the person that convinced him to see his own worth despite his true identity. He finds himself in deep, inescapable depression, and he eventually loses sight of why he should even keep going on at all. After all, he is just an instrument of evil that breaks friendship, families, and all good things. Why would the world need something like that?

Preston - Despite the fact that he does not believe he can do it, he forces himself to take up the mantel of General. He tries to lead and maintain a brave face even though he feels like he is falling apart. He knows the Minutemen are depending on him, and he feels so helpless. Eventually, he hands leadership over to Ronnie Shaw, returning to a second-in-command position as he throws himself into duties and work to try not to think about the loss of one of the few people that actually saw his vision and tried to help him achieve his dream. However, he can't quite forget the fact that it's all his fault that it ended up like this.

Valentine - Honestly cannot believe it and is in pure shock and devastation for several days before the grief and depression finally sets in. He throws himself into his work and becomes even more self-endangering, caring very little about himself and what happens to him. He knows he still has Ellie and the agency, but it just kind of seems to fade in importance as he thinks of F!Sole and how he drove her away. If he doesn't manage to get himself killed during this period, Ellie has a stern talk with him, and he actually does start being a little more careful. Not quite the level of careful he was when he had both F!Sole and Ellie on his back about it, but he tries for Ellie's sake if not his own.

X6-88 - Is quite angry at himself for angering and isolating such a vital and valuable asset of the Institute, but there is something else inside of him that pricks and pokes at his mind and gut. It is something he cannot identify and something he has never experienced before. It frequently brings her face to the forefront of his mind, homing in on just how angry that she looked and how she looked like she would rather be looking upon a pile of Brahmin dung than to be staring into his face. It bothers him for some reason, and when he returns to the Institute and expresses his thoughts, it is the last thing on his mind before they wipe his memory of her and reset him entirely.

Dogmeat - Tries to follow her even though she does not want him to. When she screams and throws things at him, he lowers his ears and tucks his tail, confused at what in the world he did wrong. He just wants her to love him again like she used to. He could be a better boy. He could stop pooping in Cait's shoes and stop chewing holes in things. Eventually, after weeks of following her and being rejected, he finally leaves her alone, heading back to Red Rocket Truck Stop where he decides to wait for her in hopes she will one day come back and give him all the pets or at least one pet. He ends up living his days waiting for her and pacing the place, waking up every morning with hopes that the sunrise will bring her back to him until he doesn't see the sunrise again.

Strong - Stays mad at her forever. However, he sometimes does wish that he had tiny human to help him with some things like fighting or cooking, but he quickly remembers that he's mad at her and tells himself that super mutants don't need puny humans. But there is something strange in his stomach when he thinks of her, but he usually smashes something to try to make himself feel better. The feeling never goes away quickly, though.

[hungry-tum-stuff]

Liquor and Cigarettes

Fandom: Breaking Bad

TW: Passing out due to hunger, possible disordered eating habits, mention of drug and alcohol abuse, mention of m*rder

*Takes place early season 4: Spoilers for everything up to that point.

Jesse Pinkman didn’t take care of himself very well.

It wasn’t much of a secret, even before his and Mr. White’s partnership had gotten far bigger than the two of them could ever imagine, Jesse wasn’t the type to make weekly runs to the grocery store. Not even monthly runs, for that matter. At any given time, the most he had in his fridge was a couple beers and a package of hot pockets. Anything quick, anything that didn’t involve any actual cooking.

Not too long ago he’d tried to make an effort. But that was before things changed.

Before too many people had died.

Now, it was rare if Jesse found the time to eat more than one meal a day.

Between running the lab, working with Badger and Skinny Pete on their side hustle, and spending his nights willing himself to sleep instead of staying awake and thinking, Jesse reserved any spare seconds he got for a quick rinse in the shower or a quiet moment outside with a cigarette.

And today, he was bearing the consequences of his bad habits.

He woke up feeling like shit. He’d drank a bit too much last night, and woke up an hour later than he should have with a bitch of a headache. And if Gus didn’t have his ass for showing up late, Mr. White sure would. He was out the door in seconds, and as he walked into the Laundry, he swore he could feel every eye in the place on him. As if every single person was one of the cameras Gus kept in the lab, just staring, judging, thinking.

“Where the hell have you been?” Jesse rolled his eyes at Mr. White’s greeting as he shut the door to the lab, the older man staring up at him in his safety gear. He was in the middle of a cook, and just like the camera, his eyes followed Jesse as he stomped down the metal staircase.

“Sorry, I slept in, jeez. Don’t get your panties in a twist about it.” He tried to brush off as he headed for the lockers to get his own safety gear. Mr. White tailed him, matching his pace and taking his ventilator mask off just so he could clearly chew Jesse out.

“Don’t get my- Jesse, you do realize you can’t just sleep in and stroll in late like you did in my class, do you? Because there are no warnings or write-ups in our situation, instead Gus is going to-“

“Slit my throat and have you shove me in a barrel? Yah, got that loud and clear.” He slammed the locker door shut and set his goggles atop his head. “Look, I know you’re like, tweakin-out-kinda-paranoid about Gus or whatever, but if you’re so worried about it, then how ‘bout we just get to the fuckin’ cook, huh?” He snapped, shoving his arms into the yellow suit and zipping it up.

“Yes, I just need to know that this won’t happen again. There’s a reason you’re here and not Gale, I need you to make sure Gus knows why.”

Jesse felt sick to his stomach. Forgetting about Gale was what he’d spent his drinks on last night, and Mr. White had just undone all that hard work.

“…Sure.”

Walter took that as an acceptable answer, and as soon as Jesse was suited up, they got to work.

Mr. White was just about to finish the batch he’d started earlier this morning, and he proposed that they cook two more today to stay on-schedule. Jesse groaned internally, he’d only been here for a few minutes but he already wanted to lie down. He didn’t know why he was so tired, he’d passed out early enough that he’d gotten enough sleep. At least, he thought he did. This felt like more than being tired, though. His head was still pounding behind his eyes, and he found himself out of breath whenever he had to run between stations or lift something heavy. Mr. White spared him a glance every now and again when he paused to take a breather, but other than that, they worked in silent synchronicity.

The real problems only arose later in the day.

They’d just finished their second batch, and Mr. White was prepping for the next one while Jesse broke up the glass. He’d done it a hundred times before, it was the easiest part of any cook, but for some reason each time he cracked down on the tray and heard the crystal shatter and splinter, it seemed to go right to his head, pain shooting through with every crack that was made. It got to the point where the pounding was non-stop, and Jesse had to pause, set down his tool, and put his head in his hands.

The lack of movement made Mr. White turn and look.

“Jesse? Is something wrong with the product?”

Jesse didn’t respond.

“Jesse, is something wrong?” Mr. White repeated, setting down his own work to walk over. Hearing his name and the footsteps coming closer was enough to make Jesse lift his head, but that was as far as he got before his eyes rolled back in his head and he swayed backwards, collapsing in a heap on the floor. He’d taken the tray down with him too, the product shattering and scattering across the floor around Jesse.

Walter looked at the camera before rushing to check on Jesse.

“Jesse! Christ, wake up!” He tried immediately, his mind flooding with ideas of what could have caused this. Was he using again? Was Jesse exposed to a chemical leak in the lab? He contemplated that option for a moment before opting to pull off Jesse’s mask and hood to make sure he was still breathing.

He was, but as soon as his face was uncovered, Walter finally noticed something just as worrying.

He hadn’t seen it when he’d walked in, but Jesse was pale. White as a sheet pale, which contrasted horribly with the dark bags under his eyes. He looked like a corpse, and when Walter checked his pulse to assure himself that wasn’t the case, he was surprised to find that Jesse was cold and clammy. Either he was using again, or there was something else very, very wrong with him.

Walter got up and looked around frantically for a moment before grabbing Jesse under his arms and dragging him over to one of the lab’s chairs. As he hoisted the kid into the seat, something else became very apparent.

Jesse was light.

That fact stuck in Walter’s mind as he rushed to fill a water bottle, keeping his partner in his line of sight as he did. Jesse had always been scrawny, but to that extent? It just didn’t sit right with him.

Setting the water bottle down on the worktable, Walt weighed his options before grabbing Jesse’s shoulders and trying to shake him awake. Jesse groaned in response, and that earned him another firm shake. “Jesse, get up! You need to tell me what’s wrong.” He implored, giving him one final shake. Jesse’s eyes fluttered open, and with a strained noise he feebly tried to push Walter’s hands off of him, but his muscles felt so heavy that he could hardly lift his arms.

“…Dude, what the hell are you doin’…”

“What the hell am I doing? You passed out! So do you mind explaining to me why that happened? Did you overdose, are you sick, what was that?” He rambled, sounding more frantic than worried as Jesse tried to get his bearings and focus on what Mr. White was saying. He only caught a few words, but he was able to respond.

“Overdose? I’m… clean Mr. White, only thing I’ve been doin’ is liquor and cigarettes.” It took all his brainpower to form that sentence, and as he started to fully regain consciousness, his headache came back full-swing, and he pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. Jesus, he wished he had stayed out.

“Right, then what did you eat last?”

“…Liquor and cigarettes…”

“Jesus, Jesse, that’s not food. I mean when did you last eat a real meal?”

Jesse was silent for a moment, thinking hard about the answer to that question. His stomach didn’t have to think at all however, because before any silence could stretch between the two men, his stomach growled emptily, painfully. Jesse only grunted and wrapped his arms around his middle, far too tired and in pain to be any kind of embarrassed for something as dumb as forgetting to eat.

“I don’t remember.”

“That’s not good, Jesse. You’re a millionaire, for God’s sake, why aren’t you eating?” Mr. White asked as he handed the water bottle to Jesse, who stared at it for a moment before taking a few slow, careful sips.

“I dunno dude, I just- everything’s harder now, y’know?” He began, trying to organize his thoughts. “There’s so much I have to do… And it doesn’t fuckin’ feel right doin’ any of it” The cold water hit his stomach and made it churn and ache uncomfortably, but now he wasn’t sure if it was because he was starving or because of, everything else again.

“I, can’t say I know the feeling, Jesse. But regardless of any of that, you still need to eat.”

“I know, Jesus, stop using your weird dad tone.” Jesse took another gulp of water, the liquid going down as hard as if he’d taken a shot. “I don’t just mean working has gotten harder. I mean that with Gus breathing down my fucking neck and, what I did to Gale, I’ve been worrying more about that than any other bullshit, I guess.” He explained. He didn’t want to admit how he felt about Gale, it was a ‘him or me’ situation, after all. He’d be dead if Gale wasn’t.

At least, that’s what Walter had told him.

“…I see. This work gets to you, I know. Gale was a good man, I know that better than anyone.” Mr. White attempted to console, placing an uneasy hand on Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse tensed up. “But you lose people, and you move on. That’s just how things work, Jesse.”

The younger man only nodded. His head was full of all the things he could say to that, he could say that it ‘wasn’t that easy,’ or ‘you’ve never lost anyone.’

But he didn’t.

“Right. Now, after we’re done cooking I’ll treat you to lunch. We still need to finish this batch and make up for the product we just lost. You feel well enough to cook?” He asked, already back in the working mood as if Jesse hadn’t just passed out.

“Yeah, just give me a minute.”

[octopus-reactivated]

Pirate whump pirate whump

Nice idea! It's first time I write something like that, so I really hope it's up to your standards!

Tw/cw: sort of medieval whump? capture, fear of torture, isolation, involuntary drugging (tell me if i missed anything)

“It’s simple, really” the man who appeared to be the leader circled him slowly “you tell us when and where Emperor’s ship will sail and you can go to your sweet home” the pirate crouched and grabbed Captain's chin. “Even you should understand it”

“You won’t get anything out of me” Whumpee said through grinded teeth

“Ah so you’re one of those that insist on acting all righteous.” Pirate let him go and stood up.”But we still have time to make you speak. I hope you’re prepared.” the pirate Leader said and Captain could swear that he saw a smile on his face.

********

He expected Leader to come back with some sort of tools to hurt him, maybe knives or pincers, but shockingly enough it did not happen. What was even more surprising was that he didn’t come back at all. At first Captain thought they needed to prepare, and the longer he was alone the more horrific scenarios appeared in his mind. What exactly did they want to do to him? What kind of torture it was, so they had to be prepared for so long? Did they want to collect all the tools? Build them? Visit a port so they can buy some sort of horrific machine?

The wait was driving him insane.

********

It was so long that fear no longer masked the increased feeling of thirst and hunger. He had no food, but there was a bowl with a bit of water in it. Captain decided to drink some so he would have strenght to endure the torture. It was bitter but he had no choice, he had to be in his best shape.

********

Did they forget about him? It made no sense, Leader made it clear that they wanted to get information out of him, but then why did no one come back?

It must have been four days in his dark cell before he noticed that water in the bowl was almost gone. He could have two or three more sips before it will run out. He was already weakened, hungry and lonely and it seemed like it will only get worse

********

“Good morning our brave Captain, are you ready for a talk?” Leader walked in and Captain almost cried, both from relief and fear. He was so happy to see another face that he almost forgot this man was there to torture him. Almost.

Yet, he had a duty to keep his mouth shut.

“Well, how will it be?” Pirate asked him nonchalantly “Do you want to go home or do you enjoy your cell so much you want to stay?”

Captain stayed silent. He can’t start playing his games, he can’t let himself be tricked into saying bit too much

“Oh so you want to stay then?” Pirate said after long while “What a shame”

********

His bow was refilled with water. At least he didn’t have to worry about that.

He had a lot of other things to worry about.

Was it their tactics? Make him go insane in this cell so he forgets what secret he is guarding?

But for that they needed more time and the Emperor's journey was getting closer and closer.

********

It was not moving

After days and days one sunray squeezed through wood and laid on a floor. But it was not moving.

It should move as the day went by, but it stayed in the same place, like a good soldier.

It made no sense.

Was he finally going insane?

********

“Nothing? Still you wanna protect your Emperor? What did he even do for you to earn such reckless loyalty, hmm?” The Pirate Leader asked him mockingly. Captain stayed silent again. Keeping the secret was his only duty now.

********

Water was refilled again. He even got a bit of bread. So they don’t even want to persuade him by starvation. How unusual.

Maybe they gave up? Maybe the Emperor already went back from his journey and pirates gave up?

Or maybe he was just going insane and they waited for his mind to give up.

It has been days, the spot of sunlight stayed on the floor the whole time and the water was bitter.

[confortaleza]

JULIAN “JILL” SATO ( he/they ) is a NON-BINARY, TWENTY SIX year old ZEHR’S BY THE SEA EMPLOYEE who has been living in Moorbrooke for TWENTY FOUR years. They were born on OCTOBER 15 and right now, they are currently residing in MAPLE COURT. It has been said that they look suspiciously like BOOBOO STEWART and if they had to choose a song to describe themselves, they would choose WEVE GOT THE POWER by GORILLAZ. ( cielo, 25, mst, she/her

b a s i c s

full name : julian “jill” sato sexual orientation : demisexual  occupation: drummer of the leftovers. greenhouse worker  +amiable +loyal + jocular   -sensitive -dumb -secretive

h i s t o r y  s u m m a r y

tw: mention of homelessness, tw: mention of juvie

jill became homeless at the age of 16 when their  mother decided to abandon them. they didn’t know their father, so jill was truly on their own. so they took their time to backpack the country before landing in new york. they got in a lot of freaking trouble there and short story long, they ended up getting arrested and sent to an orphanage after spending a year in juvie. came back to moorbrooke cus they missed his pals. they never graduated high school. instead got their GED when they were like 20. only a handful of people knows about that part of jill’s life, because it’s not something they like to flaunt. those two years were traumatizing for jill  but they are trying to move past it. their dream? to become a farmer lol. knows a lot about agriculture, so they are working up the courage to go to college for it

h i s t o r y

someday 

w a n t e d. c o n n e c t i o n s

ASTRID - girls night + jill. someone braid his hair, paint his nails, do face masks with him. PLEASE POPPYSEED- someone hurt him pls like maybe he has a crush on your DANDELION  - he does a lot of community service! maybe someone who plants trees with him on the weekends POISON IVY - someone who sees how dumb jill is and literally takes advantage of it lol like they are making him do drug runs and jill is deadass like “im delivering a package for my friend!” MAGNOLIA - uptown girl having the hots for the hippie drummer boy and vice versa lol  ASPEN - camping buddies! someone who loves the outdoors as much as jill does or someone who hates it but likes jill enough to try it out SPIDER LILY - an ex!  I’m flexible with anything tbh like maybe they broke up before jill left town, or because they were spending too much time with the band, or maybe they couldn't stand what a pushover they were lol anything does FORGET ME NOT - childhood friends, the few that know what the hell happened with jill. maybe it’s

e x t r a s

- hippie love child -not the sharpest tool in the shed, bless their heart 

-but at the same time they are!they just dont believe in themselves! -definitely the sweetest! people pleaser is their  middle name  -feel free to be super mean to them lol they wont catch it lol they would 100% think you’re joking  - befriending jill is like, adopting an oversized puppy. - would totally throw hands if someone was mean to their friend though. - if there is one thing this kid can’t stand is littering - loves plants! has a million in their  little studio. takes it upon himself to water any of the plants surrounding the complex building. lowkey started a mini garden in the backyard after begging the landlords  - is high 90% of the time. doesn’t like to drink though.  - they make their own cigarettes out of lavender.  -a camping/hiking god. knows the best spots and is always looking for road trip buddies  -they are the drummer in ryan’s band and they love it!! they got hella strong arms lol - a very anxious person underneath all those smiles. has trouble sleeping by myself cus it reminds him of those two years. - has a cocker spaniel mix dog named clover! absolutely loves her! she’s a support animal!

[zerogender-onlyswag]

VIktor Nikiforov Has ADHD

2 people told me to post this and like 6 people liked it on my last post about this so here we go

Here's why I think Viktor Nikiforov in Yuri On Ice has ADHD

Impulsivity:

Viktor seems to have a high level of impulsiveness, a common symptom of ADHD, as we struggle with impulse control. Viktor flies to Japan to be the coach for a man who asked him while drunk and then never spoke to him again. This also seems to be a common behavior for him based on the way that Yakov reacts to him leaving. Some of the inappropriate questions he asks Yuuri also seem to be centered around this impulsivity as he seems to just sort of blurt out the things he's thinking rather than taking the time to consider his words.

Memory Issues and Interest Based Memory

When Yurio arrives in Japan and confronts Viktor about promising to create a program for his senior debut, Viktor has apparently forgotten all about this. It seems like a genuine memory slip. Forgetfulness is another common symptom of ADHD and one Viktor seems to struggle with.

It's also been stated by the creators that the reason Viktor "doesn't know who JJ is" is because he doesn't find him interesting. People with ADHD have interest based memory and focus: If we don't find something interesting, we won't pay it any attention at all. This leads well into my next consideration:

Interest and Novelity

Viktor's primary appeal as a skater has always relied on his ability to surprise his audience. This is something that at the beginning of the show he seems to have lost the ability to do. I personally think that VIktor's interest in skating has been a long-term hyperfixation that remained novel and interesting for so long because he continuously made it different each time. Every program he did was a creation that was something different each time. When he started to lose that ability skating started to become uninteresting because it was no longer novel, and ADHD brains rely on the new and different to keep them interested...

Hyperfixation and Losing Interest Grief

Viktor has been stated to have been depressed at the beginning on the series, and part of what seems to have him feeling that way is losing his interest in skating. ADHD hyperfixations are the result of us looking for ways to supplement the lack of dopamine our brains naturally produce, as compared to neurotypicals. If the thing we're interested in no longer produces dopamine, we loose interest and also are getting fewer happy chemicals to the brain. This could lead us to become depressed if we don't supplement it with something else, almost like grieving the lost interest.

Viktor also seems to be drinking a lot during the show, especially at the beginning. A lot of ADHDers turn to substances, such as drugs and alcohol, when we're not getting the dopamine we need from hyperfixations or medications.

Yuuri reignites his interest in skating, as he's no longer doing it for the same reasons he was before

External Validation and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria(RSD)

Viktor's need to "surprise the audience", in addition to making skating novel and interesting each time, also seems to be a form of external validation/motivation. ADHDers don't have an internal voice that keeps us motivated in the same way that NTs do, we rely on accountability from others to keep us doing the task we're supposed to be doing.

RSD is a severe reaction to rejection, percieved rejection or fear of rejection associated with ADHD. While it's not an official symptom in the DSM 5, it is recognized as a type of emotional disregulation and is considered to be a part of that. Viktor displays this symptom on a couple occasions: the first I think being when Yuuri doesn't want to sleep with him, and he goes to his room and cries silently to himself; When Yuuri declares pork cutlet bowl to be his eros, Viktor drinks heavily, implying this hurt his feelings, despite Yuuri not directly intending it to, and finally, when Yuuri says he doesn't want Viktor to coach him anymore, this is the only time we REALLY see Viktor cry.

More:

At one point Viktor interrupts Yuuri's interview to declare that he "wants to get food instead, this is boring"

Viktor isn't particular considerate of other's feelings, steamrollering over Yurio, not really knowing what to do with Yuuri's strong emotions.

Viktor seems to channel most of his emotions into his skating. While not symptomatic of ADHD, anecdotally and personally, creative outlets, particularly highly physical ones, tend to be attractive to ADHDers.

Viktor's public persona is more reserved while his actual personality seems to be extremely goofy. Some people with ADHD learn to regulate in public/certain situations similar to masking in autistics.

Anyway, this is just my personal headcanons on the topic! Thanks for reading <3