#and they just don’t wanna say anything and make things weird
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choclatecoveredlove · 3 days ago
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Tunnel of Love ❤︎
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Playful Land is one of the coolest theme parks ever! The rides were exhilarating and the attractions were even able to keep finicky Floyd’s attention. However, you noticed something as you were checking out the map once more.
“Hey what’s this thing here?” You asked Fellow as you showed him the map. He stifled a sigh before glancing at the map.
“Oh, that? Why that’s our… ‘Tunnel of Love.’ It’s popular amongst couples, but i’m sure a blossoming young scholar like yourself wouldn’t be interested in something so trivial.”
Fellow clearly didn’t know you very well, because just as he was finishing his sentence you grabbed the hand of the guy you had feelings for and dragged him towards the Tunnel of Love with you!
Ace
you wanna go on WHAT with him?????
acts embarrassed and like he doesn’t want to ride but he does
you just can’t tell deuce that he went on this ride. he’ll never hear the end of it.
“of course you’d pick something lame to ride.” “well you don’t have to go on it with me.” “no we’re gonna ride it now.”
“ugh this ride sucks. it’s so slow and boring.”
he’ll groan while reaching out to grab your hand. yknow just in cause there’s an unexpected drop or something. (there is no drop)
he had fun and will smile about it when it thinks about it later on
does he thinks it’s worth the teasing from trey and cater? “well… maybe.”
Trey
he’s embarrassed, like really embarrassed.
not because he’s embarrassed to be seen with you or afraid he’ll be teased (which is unavoidable) but because he’s not very experienced with this kind of thing
“so..is it alright if i hold your hand?”
he’s glad the lighting is so dim in this tunnel; he would hate for you to see him so red in the face
he’s kind of awkwardly silent the enter time because he has no idea what to do or say
however as the ride goes on you notice him scoot continuously closer and closer to you
he gathers the courage to give you a small kiss on the cheek as you get off the ride
“sorry i was weird. let’s do that again some time. i’ll definitely make a bolder move then.”
Cater
he knew about the tunnel of love from social media posts and was gonna ask you first but you beat him to the punch
he’s gonna take so many pictures (for his own personal collection)
“okay, now let’s make a heart with our hands! cute~! scoot closer to me now. mwah~ got you!”
what a sly guy… and he got it all on camera
he doesn’t spend the whole time taking pictures though. he wants to savor the moment alone with you as well
he is immune to the teasing of the others- they’re probably just jealous he gets to spend 1 on 1 time with you
“am i gonna post the pics on magicam? no way. they’re just for me~!”
Leona
“no.” “pleaseeeee????” “no.”
he says while standing in line and waiting to get on the ride with you.
it’s something to do at least. “beats babysitting the rest of that lot.”
you were gonna try and be flirty and put your head on his shoulder but he beat you to it.
“wake me up when this is over.”
how romantic. leona asleep on you. (っ- ‸ - ς)
for leona though, he actually had a good time. taking a nap on you after a long day of being annoyed by a bunch of herbivores? he enjoys it
he’ll never tell you that though. but you can assume from the faint smile that graces his face as he gets off the ride with you
Jack
ooooo somebody’s tail is wagging
not that he’ll admit that he’s excited or anything. because he’s definitely not.
if you thought trey was awkward get a load of this guy! he’s as stiff as a board and won’t even look at you
“nervous? ‘m not nervous.. there’s not anything to be nervous about.”
sure jack everyone believes you (¬_¬")
if you’re expecting any moves to be made that’s too bad. he won’t even brush against your shoulder.
however, if you make a move he will initially tense up before relaxing somewhat and beginning to enjoy himself
Jade
“how incredibly bold of you.” 
this is all incredibly fascinating to him, human amusement parks, human courting rituals, and of course you’re fascinating as usual.
he’s unsure of what you expect out of this interaction how ever he’ll try his best to live up to your expectations.
he’ll hold your hand, put his arm around your shoulder, allow your head to rest against his shoulder, everything a gentleman would do.
tbh he was a little worried initially when you said you wanted to go on a ride with him but thankfully it wasn’t a thrill ride.
“this is much more fun anyways.”
Floyd
floyd is always up for a new experience: especially with you!
you just pray he doesn’t get bored halfway through and tries to get off
“wowie shrimpy~ you wanna spend time with me alone? can’t promise you’ll come back in one piece.”
he’s joking. (probably) (•᷄- •᷅ ;)
he cannot sit still on the ride
“heyyy why is this thing moving so slow? you said this would be fun. you’re not keeping me entertained at all. you better make it up to me later, kay?”
he’s expecting you to keep him entertained and content so you better not let him down
Kalim
he is beaming from ear to ear
he loves spending time with you!!
and for once jamil isn’t here to tell him ‘leave them alone.’ ‘they have better things to do.’ ‘you can’t take up all their time.’
he so excited he’s physically vibrating while waiting in line
tries to very subtly hold your hand and smiles when you take your hand in his.
he’s very gentlemanly. “it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable if i kissed you, would it?” no matter the answer he’s just happy to be around you
“that was so fun! can we go again? or maybe five more times? please!”
Vil
you think you can casually ask him to go on a romantic ride with him? you’ve got guts, he’ll give you that much
“well… fine. but no pictures. and no telling anyone else about this either. especially rook.”
he looks so refined sitting next to you and under the dimmer light he looks majestic
“i’m not going to kiss you on this.”
HEARTBROKEN ૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა
“i’m sure we can find somewhere much more romantic to do that. rather than this gimmicky ride.”
so he didn’t enjoy it… but he still likes you though ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡
Lilia
how fun!! he’s never experienced like this before and he’s glad he can experience it with you.
he takes a couple a pictures so that he can show malleus, silver, and sebek later “they’re going to be so jealous of us.”
he’s ancient so he’s aware of how to be romantic and to how to be a gentleman (only if he wants to be though)
he’s extremely flirtatious, he’ll lean in close only to whisper “you know, you’ve got something in your teeth.”
then in the next moment he will entangle his hand with yours and help you out of the ride. he’ll skip back with you to the rest of the group grinning slyly
Fellow
he was definitely not expecting that.
he personally doesn’t care for the tunnel of love, in fact he thinks it’s a little gross. the last thing he wants to see is couples making out.
but he has to keep up the act of gracious host, doesn’t he?
fine. he’ll smile and bare it. he just knows gidel will never let him live it down though.
well at least you are kinda cute. maybe he won’t hate it entirely.
“my, my! you’d like to ride it with me? i’m honored to spend one on one time with such a prestigious scholar such as yourself.”
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aerequets · 2 hours ago
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Ur art is such an inspiration and motivation for me, as a fellow artist. I’ve been following ur stuff for a bit now and I was wondering how you decided to draw loid, yor, and anya the way you do. I say this bc I really want to start making my own fan arts, but i struggle to take this anime style and have these character read as [insert character] without it being in a “anime style.”
And I guess this applies to any character you want take from a media, and translate it into your style. Bc i don’t necessarily think ur art style is considered “anime” i kinda just see it as an abstraction ig. But even if it is, it isn’t in the style of anime show is yk? Yet the characters read as who they’re supposed to be.
And I think a while back you u mentioned that you were struggling on decided how to draw loid. ig i wanna know How did you come to the decision that “yes, this looks correct and I wanna draw him like this.”
Is it finding defining feature and proportions? Just messing around until you figure something out? And I assume you make a character sheet to keep it consistent?
Like i literally go to art school but cant draw anything without a reference photo and it killing me 😔💀💀
Sorry for the yapp i’m just down bad rn and really love ur work. Please help be get out of the reference photo trap😭
Also sorry if this reads weird and has errors i’m sleep deprived and can’t bring myself to go back and reread
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WHAIUGOUGH???? UR TOO KIND??? THANK U
i will try my best to answer below, but i dont think it is anything profound or super secret lmao
so i think that artists get really caught up with finding/establishing a style when they are first starting out. i say this because i was no different. to me it was like 'oh if i have a style then i am a Real artist instead of just a copier'
but like, i think that order is backwards. like the more that you draw things you enjoy, the more those drawings will become your own and in your 'style' if that makes sense. heavy emphasis on the quantity here. you just gotta go really at it. and the best way to do this is through sheer quantity tbh.
however at the same time, i dont really agree with the whole 'draw x things per day every day' thing cuz sometimes thats just hard man. i mean you mentioned you were in art school so you're probably drawing every day anyways, but for a hobbyist or fanartist (me lol) its mostly based on whether u feel like drawing or not. Which is why its rlly cool when you have a show/book/movie/anything you're really into which makes you want to draw more! it becomes something fun rather than a chore.
so basically, dont view a style as something you have to develop right away, or turn drawing into a chore, because that will be very counteractive trust me.
another important thing i wanted to mention, you said "reference photo trap" but ITS NOT A TRAP! USE REFERENCES!!! REFERENCES ARE IMPORTANT AND GOOD (i am assuming you already know this, but using references is not the same as tracing. just to make it clear)
this is another thing common with newer artists (and of course how i used to be), where you feel like you have to draw 'from your mind' for it to be an indicator of any skill. NOT TRUE!! you need to use references to get better!
lastly, to answer your question (as best i can lol) there was never any point when i decided 'yes this is it' when drawing. you just draw and draw and keep changing and growing. it is a little of everything you said (defining features, proportions, messing around) but it is also just drawing a lot and having fun! :D oh and i definitely do not have a character sheet. i am not anywhere near that organized LMAO
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pickyourpoisonandevolve · 21 hours ago
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Thanksgiving Drabble w/ the 141 + Black Reader
Notes/warnings: just a fluff piece from me. I don’t know how to do drabbles/imagines but I SURE DO enjoy reading them and I have a brain baby to birth. Idk if this is TOO specific for a drabble but reader is black/female/american. Because those things aren’t often represented in these! And also I can do what I want at the end of the day. Just… just walk with me here.
The military is an easy place to forget that your squadmates are real actual people with families and backgrounds, on account of the inherent assimilation. Not that it wasn’t needed, but you get so busy creating your own language and communication styles that I think being able to express cultural habits and likes get a little seldom.
All that to say, you and Gaz LOVE to cook together, as it makes you nostalgic for your respective families. And you’ll be damned if these Brits make you skip Thanksgiving. The rest met your enthusiasm with “fucking Americans” but Gaz thankfully was more than happy to join you in the prep, you both bonding in hatred for the same old shit from the base kitchen. But most of the base is gone so you lot have the kitchen and common room to yourself, and that means you and Gaz are making a FEAST.
Pulling greens, the dishes that take 6-8 hours to make, the shit talking, the hyper specific recipes that you bicker about, the music played. You both are IN IT, and Johnny, Simon and Price didn’t have anywhere else to be, and are more than happy to eat what you make. (As they aren’t the most talented cooks of the bunch) Sausage rolls and chip buttys a Thanksgiving does not make.
It tickles the other three to walk by occasionally, listening to you to just… talk. And vibe. About old experiences, moving in tandem, bitching occcasionally. It had a spooky parallel to how you all worked in the field, seamlessly in sync, but the juxtaposition of it being wholesome. You all got to live in a temporary bubble of normalcy and domesticism. Like a big weird family, you could forget you all killed people for a living.
Price had shit to do, so he did flybys through the day, but they increased in frequency as it went on, his smile growing each time. His little grinch heart growing, seeing his team get along. You tossed cookies at him, hoping to get a rise out of him, but all you were met with was a “thanks, love” and a wink. You made a mental note to do that at a frequency of everyday forever.
Soap didn’t want to miss anything (or feel left out) so he kept to his favorite things: “watching TV” aka TikToks and passively watching a show, interjecting in conversations and stealing food when no one was looking. (Everyone was looking and he was slapped and yelled at A LOT)
Ghost was just unfamiliar with this intimate of camaraderie. He stopped in occasionally for tea, which Gaz and you started making for him. You could see his little eye crinkles as you prepared his tea just like he liked it.
Gaz and you started singing together as you plated the meal on the kitchen island. The rest of the team was holding a flight pattern in the common area, pulled in like the smell lines in an old timey cartoon, scotch already prepped and poured. But there was a moment where you two got swept up in your comfortability, and started singing in earnest. (This song in particular) You two didn’t make it a habit of getting too relaxed in front of the others, big tough soldiers and all, so this was a rare, near nonexistent sight.
Better days comin' for sure
If this world were—
If it was up to me
I wouldn't give these nobodies no sympathy
I'd take away the pain, I'd give you everything
I just wanna see you win, wanna see
If this world were mine
The three on the couch looked back with open mouths and smiles as you carried on. Literal years you all have worked together, how did they not know you two sang, and HARMONIZED? Did you practice?
You noticed first, brought back to reality and almost dropping a dish. Scandalized! Embarassed! Blushing furiously! Gaz thankfully was impervious to their bullshit, and told them to fuck off and come eat. Typical soldiers, couldn’t sit down proper for anything, food included, so you all settled into conversation and a full meal standing around the island. Enjoying the bubble, enjoying the peace, enjoying the moment.
Johnny, Price and Simon graciously offered to do dishes and clean. (Leftovers for days!) And after a while, you all dispersed. Soap stole a half of a pie and was inbound on falling asleep with his pants unbuttoned on the couch. Ghost was tactically figuring out how to look aloof and fall asleep on Soaps shoulder. Gaz had family (and a lady, you suspected) to FaceTime and Price hung behind you on the way to the barracks. Before you made your good nights, he offered to share a new bottle of bourbon his Nan sent in his room. Super casual. No pressure. Maybe he could hear your pretty voice sing just for him this time.
(This Drabble is sponsored by holidays, KDots new album, and an excuse to flirt with Price. Happy Thanksgiving, Americans are all on native land, and fuck Columbus)
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skinreflectsthesun · 1 year ago
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monsterfuckermilligan · 2 months ago
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i still cannot comprehend how u guys will write or draw or rb something of jack where he is present as a full grown adult and then call him a precious child….
#maybe media literacy IS dead like how can u not understand that his development is not like a regular human’s????#but nah i’m the weird one for thinking he doesn’t have a toddler brain in an adult body#DO YOU HEAR YOURSELVES?!#‘well he’s new to the world. he’s just a baby’ everyone regards him as an adult who is new to the world#he literally said right out the gate he is not a baby or child. you just go the baby jack tinted glasses on and can’t separate that from#what’s in canon. ‘they call him a kid’ yeah cuz they’re in their forties and have lived a lot of lives#like kid bc he is their kid but not a kid. ‘kid’ as a term of endearment. idk if u guys have heard of the concept#when does the narrative treat him as an actual child and not just new to the world? or comparison to a child when he doesn’t have his powers#which means child as in ‘weak’ or ‘incapable’ also don’t bring up anything that disabled adults and/or especially autistic adults have/do#like velcro shoes or stimming. focus on his storylines and actual characterization please and tell me how he is a precious child#is it because he is polite? yeah well he’s also bitchy and mean and commanding. it’s almost like he’s a multifaceted character#or something. you’d think considering the writers had written children before that they would’ve chosen child-like storylines and things#for jack’s character but no this is a fantasy show. it’s not just a drama. his age is played for jokes because he *could* choose to be an#adult. because he’s a nephil. because he’s a non-human character who doesn’t abide by typical human development. his physiology is#completely different than an actual adult or child. his fingerprints are even abnormal. and y’all wanna say he is a ‘literal child’#or a ‘baby in an adult’s body’ which if that was true wouldn’t he act like a baby? and wouldn’t the writers make that clear? like where are#y’all getting this from?? i feel like i’ve missed out on a joke. like i’m standing outside the echo chamber wondering where it even#originated from#supernatural#jack kline#supernatural fandom#spn fandom#fandom critical#spn fanfic#spn fanart#spn fanworks#the infantilization of jack kline#hw.txt
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dyketennant · 2 months ago
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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cuteniaarts · 8 months ago
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Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:
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Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#lok malina#still feel like that’s too vague of a tag but I can’t come up with anything better for now#and yeah. she has completely stolen by heart and I don’t know how to feel about that#don’t think I ever was this attracted to my own art before#to be fair the design isn’t mine. it’s very heavily based on something nina drew back in 2021#because I did not have the energy or creativity to come up with my own thing#but the art is all mine and I genuinely adore it. super proud of myself which is a rare occurrence#anyways. kat and I spent three days digging this niche lower and lower and now have a he#*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character#for lore about a lady from the North Pole a lot of it is rather hot… to the point my cheeks are burning non stop#I would say I’d let her do anything she wants to me but in my very specific aroace-adjacent case it’s more like#I’d let her tell me to do anything she wants to her#if that makes any sense and I have not completely lost my goddamn mind yet#okay. enough yapping. back to the art itself#lazy background because I suck at those and am not currently attempting to learn them. I’ll probably do that over the summer#about time anyway. my characters have been placed against an off-white background for far. far too long#this is the first piece in just over a year that isn’t tagged with sotrl. which is kinda weird tbh#I’ve been drawing my OCs almost exclusively for nearly 5 years so it is genuinely surprise I’m branching out#*surprising#less branching out and more diving from one hole into another but y’know#anyway. in my personal and very correct opinion she turned out absolutely gorgeous#her servants are way too lucky and unalaq is way too much of an idiot. no offence to vaatu but he could never beat out this#and I also have Kat’s personal and very correct opinion to back up my own. two against the void. once again we’re winning#I wanna draw her a lot more bc she has completely possessed my brain. I just wish character interactions were easier to draw 😭#I’ll figure it out. just need to fight my visualisation issues for a proper idea. brb#okay I’m almost at the tag limit so. in summary:#she 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
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aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#brain is being weird again. i miss the person i thought you were before i found out how truly truly horrible you are#but that person doesn’t exist! i never met them because they aren’t real!#i just wanna meet my person yk. like yeah i don’t want to be in a relationship bc that sounds exhausting but also#it wouldn’t be exhausting if it was my person. i wanna know someone. i wanna learn how someone works.#i wanna take care of someone and be taken care of without asking.#and like the thing is is i definitely have my people in my friends like i already have them in this way#and i appreciate that so so much which is why i won’t settle for anything less ever again and why i’m no longer actively seeking something#but i really do just miss clicking that well with someone right off the bat. and i know most of it was probably 1) me being lied to and 2)#me trying to make myself palatable for him#but i haven’t felt that truly blatantly appreciated in a long time#i just wish that fate would work a little faster at putting my person into my lap is all#i’m not even gonna say that it doesn’t have to be The Person i’ll end up with and can just be One Of the people along the way#because now that feels like settling and if the universe doesn’t want me to settle then i won’t#and i’m not trying to be impatient because i know that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to and i can’t force anything#i just want it to happen so badly. i want to have my cute love story. i want to have it last longer than a week. in a good way this time.#and i know i vent a lot about this in my tags but this time feels different#i just want what is supposed to happen to happen. and i want to feel comforted knowing that it will.#i just need a sign that it’s gonna happen someday so i don’t lose my mind waiting for it#that i’m in the right place. and i’m right where i’m supposed to be#idk. i just know i don’t deserve to feel alone anymore. especially when i know i’m not.#this feels like a prayer. maybe it is. whatever.#mari is irrelevant
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padfootastic · 1 year ago
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the worst thing is when like. someone on the internet hasn’t done anything wrong, is a perfectly pleasant person, but their vibes are utterly rancid to u. can’t escape them bc theyre on ur feed 84372 times a day and u feel very very weird blocking someone who’s literally not even looked in ur direction lmao
#like i *get* it block liberally etc etc and i DO#but sometimes it’s like. why. what is it *about* this person that bothers me#it’s just such tiny tiny things#and i really can’t escape it half the time#tumbles block system is great when ur the one blocked but now when ur doing the blocking#(which. wtf tumblr)#i’m still seeing people in reblogs#and like. again. they’re a nice person. not done anything technically wrong#but i have the most feral urge to growl at them thru the screen#like ??? wtf brain??#since when do we care about vibes so much#it’s like that thing where if a person u don’t like makes a good point#but u can’t take anything they say in good faith lol#some of the stupidest things that’s made me feel like this is say. someone w a weird headcanon#or people who use <3 in that. tiktok girlie suibaiting way#passive aggressiveness#if someone’s *too* sensitive on the internet#idk the list goes on and i don’t wanna keep blocking people but i need to know another ways to manage this lol#i think one time i blocked someone for posting about how sirius is obsessed with remus lmao#i didn’t like the…tone…nor the words….#there is literally no point to this i just saw something on my feed and got super annoyed s’all#something so irrelevant i’m gonna forget about it in 7 hours#i’m gonna compare it to a lactose intolerance#milk is wonderful and everyone around u loves it but it gives u gas so u stay away and give it a stink eye everytime#no one’s at fault but u feel like an over sensitive bitch lmao#(not me tho. love me my dairy)#so. ykno.#a lil rant. if u will.#pen’s whining
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rubysparx · 1 year ago
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Hey can I say something that’s probably been said already. Call me whatever you want but like I feel astrology ppl are a target for a lotta unneeded hate. Yeah ok so you don’t believe in it, it’s crazy right it just doesn’t make sense it’s all just vague stuff right. Yeah. Okay but like how are you gonna react to religious ppl who incorporate that (and similar) into their religion? Are you normal abt ppl who say “yeah my soul is actually that of a hyenas” or maybe a dragons. Or a wolf. Idk man I hate the astrology bitches who don’t know what they’re talking abt and say vague stuff too- but that’s bc they’re a specific and annoying kind of person. Idk idk the joke was funny for a bit bc it targeted and clearly mentioned that specific kind of person. But now it feels more general. People seem to think anyone who does anything with astrology is stupid/gullible/whateverr.
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cantofworms · 2 years ago
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Hi I just wanted to discuss if you want of course because I read your post regarding dnf and I wanted to maybe explain why I think it's different than any other relationship they have? I personally take under consideration the whole context of their time they know each other. Because it's not at all about what they say or do now, like yeah they might smooch other people and say they are not dating. (That and their friends saying they are free might be just to protect privacy) But still George put his life on hold for dream and then moved to America permanently and dream didn't face reveal earlier because he waited for him. Yeah there is also sapnap and their bond with sapnap is also super strong and they all love each other, but you need to admit its different. They definitely don't look like that at anyone else and don't post candids like that of anyone else. I'm ace so for me it's definitely not about fucking and sucking. But they have different aura than men who pander imo. Like yard boys for example. They are also lifelong friends and they joke about all those things but they don't seem like life partners. And for me dnf do. That's why I'm leaning more towards romantic.
When it comes to sexuality discussion and analysing I think it's fine as long as it not on twitter or anywhere they can see and feel self-conscious about it.
But everyone can have their own opinions and I respect yours
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anyways
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no1ryomafan · 22 days ago
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Also despite last post and the fact “damn my tumblr has a lot of dumb first impression opinions but I keep them up anyways” I was looking at kikaider on my search cause tags are easy to find of my post, saw one of my rants and went “let me just *press delete button*”
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insanechayne · 4 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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caelum-in-the-avatarverse · 6 months ago
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Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
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[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
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“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
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celesteleoves · 7 months ago
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hcs of bakugou / todoroki being a hardcore simp for reader maybe?
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“I WANNA BE YOURS.”
KATSUKI BAKUGOU/SHOTO TODOROKI x fem!reader.
summary: what the request said!
warnings: swearing (bakugou…), mentions of todoroki’s childhood (very brief), that’s it i believe!
a/n: i love this request. i hope i wrote this to your liking!
BAKUGOU KATSUKI —
he is a very subtle simp. you probably wouldn’t even think he liked you if you guys weren’t already dating. the way he shows his love for you is… questionable.
he does the simple things like following you around like a lost puppy (even though he swears he does NOT) .
he’ll definitely demand you never leave his side so he can always be there to protect you.
“you’re so weak, you need me to be there to protect you at all times.”
you’ll just nod, enjoying your boyfriends presence. (he’s actually geeking over you aswell and the fact you grace him with your presence).
he takes you everywhere with him and doesn’t care about what anyone says. oh, aizawa paired him up with kirishima? you’re coming with. you can’t stay a second away from him before he’s rushing around like a headless chicken looking for you.
your biggest fan by far, anything you do he’s practically on the floor worshipping you. then the next second he’ll be calling your outfit disgusting in the sweetest way possible.
he’ll also deny the fact he’s a simp for you. one time, kirishima caught the poor boy gazing at you, dare i say LOVINGLY, across the room as you did a mundane task.
kirishima has never grinned wider than he did when he noticed this. your boyfriend noticed the quiet chuckles leaving his friend and turned towards him.
“what the fuck are you laughing at?”
“you stalking y/n!”
“I WAS NOT STARING AT HER.” sure… liar. you literally just outed yourself…
bakugou loved you, even though he shows it in his weird, weird ways.
SHOTO TODOROKI —
the sweetest, sweetest boyfriend ever. literally the ideal boyfriend anyone could have SIMPLY because of how doting he is towards his partner.
he’s absolutely enamoured with you. he isn’t shameful about it either! (referencing one of my other head-canons) .
this boy will downright show his love for you.
we all know shoto has a hard time with social cues, he blames it on his childhood and the lack of social times he had – always being isolated.
that’s also the reason why he doesn’t understand why he can’t stare you down like a hawk and not expect people to be slightly worried… why is he staring at you like he wants to eat you?
cuteness aggression is a thing. you both get it when you’re with each other.
you can’t believe you managed to secure this boy. he never opened up to just anyone, yet for you he made an exception. you flew that all the time.
meanwhile your boyfriend is still in denial you two are dating. every time you bring up your realtionship he’s blushing like a maniac and shying away from you.
your classmates notice the little things. such as you placing your phone face up only for it to be face down a couple seconds later because todoroki fixed it for you knowing you don’t want people staring at every notification on your phone (this is so me guys i’m sorry).
he is very attentive, he’s such a simp. he’ll pick up on the little things. sometimes, you feel like he knows you better than you know yourself.
there was definitely one time you had been making yourself a snack in the kitchen, forgetting to get one of your favourite piece of food for the snack .
once your snack was made, you frowned at the missing piece of your food you wanted.
starting to get upset, you looked around for something to make up for this.
“here.” a soft voice spoke causing you to relax at the sound of todorokis gentle tone.
“i can’t find my-”
“y/n. here.”
you looked at your boyfriends hand, noticing he was holding multiple variations of the missing food item you craved.
your lips trembled at his thoughtfulness and you pulled your boyfriend in for a hug as he returned it with a soft smile on his face.
he’s too sweet for you and such a simp!
a/n: guys, bare with me if there is spelling errors. this was not proof-read! i hope this was good enough, it was kind of short.
SEND REQUESTS! 🤍🤍
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yukurie · 1 month ago
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So I got a dcxpd idea, so I’ve seen a few takes on this so I wanna do my own
Danny is an ex hero / vigilante as we know and is now living with the batfam, the batfam are trying to keep their night activities secret from Danny cause he’s both new to the family and seemingly wants a normal civilian life but uh, they don’t exactly do normal well and you can’t really hide anything when the person you’re trying to hide things from is hearing ghostly gossip at basically all times and likely has more experience than most of you in being a hero
So Danny helps out occasionally with weird things but is still technically not involved: like maybe he says vague clues in question form to Tim who is working on a cold case because the dead person in question happened to turn into a ghost and told him about what happened, maybe Jason came in to get Alfred to help stitch up a particularly bad stab wound and Danny walks up looks at it and the stitch type Alfred was about to do before gently nudging Alfred aside alerting both to his presence before taking the needle and doing a different type of stitch expertly before walking away to get a cup of coffee without saying a word, maybe he walks into Tims room to give him a cup of tea (or coffee) where he was looking over a blueprint for a new gadget and he glances at the blueprint for a brief moment before Tim can hide it before making a small comment about something Tim could do to get it working before leaving as if he didn’t just easily solve something Tim’s been trying for a month to get working, maybe they would mention a past injury and then Danny would bring up a similar injury that is very concerning for a civilian to ever have even moreso a child, etc etc
So basically Danny just kinda… corrects them occasionally on things and they are desperately trying to figure out if he’s an ex vigilante, ex villain, or if he just had a particularly fucked up childhood (which I guess you could technically say it’s all three?)
Danny shows up and just dumbfounds them because his background check show nothing of note, maybe even too clean but he just does and says the weirdest things so easily
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