#and therefore I am missing all the references lol

[misc-obeyme]

the 7 rings would be so intresting (based on helluva, and other media)

💙The Pride Ring - blue sky, the top layer (mostly sinners) divided by rank poor, rich, overlords. The ring is mostly used for buisness and sinners who fall in this ring cant leave.

💛The Greed Ring - (dark yellow sky, banks, mostly mafia, mostly overrun by demon born mobs, not a nice place, violenet, and a lot of money, CEOs, retailers, influencers, managers, mostly make up the sinner count, Mammon would not care for its inhabitants)

🧡The Envy ring - (moslty water, envy demons who are mostly water demons, nothing much here, smells like chlorine, and has beaches, orannge sky, no sinners)

💚the wrath ring (dark green skys, sandy mostly desserted, demon born, mostly farmers, no sinners)

💓lust ring (pinkish sky), casinos, strip clubs, clubs, bars, hotels, the works, sinners do live here, and mostly demons come here to have fun..busy as it gets Asmodeus makes a few apperances.

❤️Gluttony - food and drink stalls, a reddish sky, rumour has it that the demon Beelzebub makes only a few appearances, and she does not like people left out, she also claims to drug people up, also the only hospital that the whole of hell)

💜sloth ring - purplish sky, smalls pf mould and damp, sinners are normally tortured here, demon borns normally make a living selling medication, in additoon, its rumoured that that the realm was taken over by Belphegor's 4th cousin Belial for a while until Belphegor took it back after 300 years, since then, the realm has been mostly distroyed and no one is bothered to fix it up

🩶the devildom - top layer, always dark, 3 cities, a top University, humans, witches, demons, government, elite, some higher class demons make buisness here, the royal family demons live here, they never went to hell, until the brothers showed up, and gave them the place. The place can be accessed via an elvator which connects the 13 rings of hell, and the human world, did connect the Celestial realm but been "out of order" one human uses it frequently

And heaven has 7 realms

(If you have any ideas you can add or you have your own)?

I wanted ot to make ot darker esp abt the pride ring and the lust ring but i was unsure

Well I haven't seen Helluva Boss or anything related therein, but this looks like a really cool Obey Me au idea!

You've really gone into some detail here, anon! It sounds like a concept you've been thinking about for a while. My suggestion is always going to be to write it because that's my default mode of creation lol. But you should explore it however you like!

Personally I think you can do whatever you want with canon divergent ideas like this - make them as dark as you like. That's the fun part about such things, you get to make them your own. It's up to you how dark you want to go.

I might not be the best person to bounce darkness off of as I tend to fluff everything up lol! That certainly doesn't mean I can't get angsty or dark when needed, though. While Obey Me is essentially a lighthearted otome game, you could easily take it into darker places considering the whole hell angle and everything.

It does remind me of the circles of hell from Dante, which is a concept that's been around for a while. Though I've never read anything where it was more fully fleshed out or in a more modern setting. But it's an interesting idea to have each section belong to one of the brothers, especially considering they don't necessarily bother to do anything with them. Like it sounds like the rings will function just fine without their presence? Who ruled over them before the brothers fell? Or did they just not exist yet?

[ghost-1-y]

Sabotage

Trickster!Sanemi x Fem!Tricked Princess!Reader

Content Warnings: MDNI, explicit sexual content, dubcon(?), unprotected sex, penetrative sex (f! receiving), oral sex (m! and f! receiving), fingering, handjob, Sanemi can clone himself, double penetration (therefore anal), HEAVY degradation, brat tamer!Sanemi x bratty!reader, Sanemi has an olfactophilia kink, masturbation (Sanemi), spanking as punishment, overstimulation as punishment, lots of dumbification, mentions of breeding/pregnancy, multiple creamp!es, Sanemi is mean in this, Sanemi points a knife to reader’s throat at some point (he doesn’t draw blood), mentions of food, mentions of dead animals, reader is a spoiled, bratty princess, brief mentions of homewrecking (not acted upon), mentions of a future arranged marriage, Sanemi plays “tricks” on reader, lmk if I missed anything!!

Word Count: ~15k

A/N: apologies for this taking literally forever for me to post, I went through a period of burnout and have been in classes these past two months. Also, apologies for this being so long, the plot got ahead of me and it ended up becoming my largest fic to date, but I do promise smut at the end (as you can probably tell by the content warnings lmao). Also please be nice I’m sorry if this fic is actually awful lol :')

Divider Credit: @/cafekitsune

The sound of crystal heels against marbled stone were followed by head turns of maids and servants as you walked through the long corridor, bowing or curtseying as you passed, soft murmurs of your highness and my princess uttered in haste before returning to their duties.

Everything was as it should be: polished gold-framed paintings and chandeliers lit with gentle flames above, ornate silver door handles grasped by armored knights as entrances opened for you time and time again, strolling up rounded stairways and into the throne room – where your father, King Ubayashiki, and his wife, Lady Amane, sat.

The sun was orange through the glass panes that decorated the palace walls. Rainbows scattered across the palace floor, and fractals of light beamed at varying angles which made the golden thrones glimmer with radiance.

“My dear child,” your father smiled gently upon you, “I am glad to see you in good health.”

He was flanked by a line of his advisors on his left side, most of them old and feeble, except for one: a quiet ravenette with eyes which beheld endless pools of deep blue – Tomioka, you believed his name was. 

Tomioka was quite handsome, yet always expressed disinterest in the matters discussed at these sorts of meetings – today, he decided to forgo usual etiquette by holding his head up by one of his fists, eyes taking in the grandeur of the throne room rather than being focused on you – as the rest of the advisors were.

“Father,” you curtseyed – forcing your eyes to pry away from the young advisor, “I reciprocate your sentiment. I am glad to see you well.”

He chuckled, “Your words are much appreciated, but I’m afraid they are not true. I have come down with sickness, and our lovely doctor here–” he waved towards his left, referring to a rather beautiful woman with dark hair and violet eyes who sat further away from the line of advisors, “–Lady Kocho, is doing her absolute best to treat me, but, it has made me realize a few things, namely how very brief our lives are on this earth, and–”

“Father, with all due respect, what have you summoned me for?” you asked, impatience seeping into your tone.

The king sighed, “I need you to be married, my dear child.”

“What?” you exclaimed, “no– I don’t want to. You cannot and will not force me to do such a thing.”

Your father sighed, “that is why, my dear, that we are going to be holding a masquerade ball on the next full moon – which, I believe, is five days from now. We have also decided that, due to time and the uncertainty of my sickness, you will be wed on the very next day.”

“What the hell is a ball going to do? Do you believe I’ll just suddenly meet the love of my life while dancing with a masked stranger?”

“That is not the objective, my dear, I wish for you to get to know the princes from nearby nations, and I believe a masquerade ball is perfect to learn personalities without any bias. Whomever you get along with most, as well as whoever I believe will be most fit as a king, will be the one whom you marry.”

“Well, I wish you luck in making me attend, because I refuse to entertain this idea you’ve thought up. You haven’t even given me a reason as to why I should plan to be married.”

There was tension amongst the members of the advisory council, with even Tomioka paying closer attention to your rather loud grievances.

You could almost feel his azure eyes boring into your soul.

“My dear child, even though I am your father, you must remember that I am also your King, and you will do well to remember that,” he said quietly.

“So, what? Are you going to have me thrown into the dungeons if I don’t comply?” You crossed your arms as you glared down at him. “You can’t possibly be serious–”

“That is not what I wish for, my child, but you must be responsible to your kingdom and do what I ask of you. One day, I will no longer be here, and you will need to step up and take the throne once that happens. This is the first step towards that end.”

“I don’t care about being responsible to the kingdom! They must bow to me anyway, the reason for their subservience is none of my concern.”

If you weren’t consumed by your fit of rage, you might have noticed that to your right, for a fraction of a second, the hue of the handsome ravenette’s eyes turned from a deep blue to a stormy purple.

“My child, you must learn that people do not bow blindly to the throne. They bow out of respect for a leader that makes decisions which keep them in mind.”

“They should respect me regardless. I’m their princess. That should be enough for them.”

You did not wait for your father to continue his lecture, as you stormed out of the throne room and marched back toward your chambers.

—

Upon entering your bedroom, a fireplace had already been lit – its crackling flames providing just enough heat for one’s slumber during a mid-winter night.

You sat down on the edge of your rather large bed – a mattress as soft as clouds, and sheets of the finest silk which was woven with royalty in mind. You kicked off your heels, scattering them halfway across your cozy living space – not caring to put them away properly – the help was there for such chores, anyway.

Your lady-in-waiting – you believed her name was Kanroji – knocked upon the carefully carved wooden doors of your chambers, before entering upon your command. She gave you a soft smile and curtseyed before you.

��It’s a wonderful evening, my princess, I hope today treated you well,” she greeted, and you gave out a loud sigh before flopping onto the mattress, a pout visible on your face as Kanroji picked up your discarded heels from the floor and placed them in their proper spot. 

“Kanroji–” you elongated the last vowel of her name, “today was awful. Can you believe my dad possessed the gall to summon me today? And for what– to discuss marriage?” you groaned, “If I could, I would’ve wiped that everlasting smile off of his face for making me go through all of this!”

“My princess, that is no way to speak about your father, much less your king,” Kanroji lightly scolded you, causing you to roll your eyes. “I’m sure his reasons are sound. I understand if you find the idea rather, well, uprooting I should say, but–”

“–But nothing!” you exclaimed, exasperation evident in your tone. “I don’t want to be responsible for the people, especially if it’s at the expense of my own losses!”

“Princess, with all due respect, they are your people,” Kanroji reminded you, “being a princess doesn’t exempt you from responsibilities.”

Rolling your eyes once more, you grumbled out a “whatever,” and sat up on your bed to face your lady-in-waiting.

“I’m sure that it was at least nice to speak with your father, no? Considering how busy he is and all?” Kanroji asked with a smile.

“Not really,” you groaned, “but I did get to see that one cute advisor he has, so I guess it wasn’t all bad.”

“Are you referring to Lord Tomioka, my princess?”

“Who else? The rest of them are old as shit– you think I’d fall for Urokodaki? Or – god forbid – Kuwajima?”

“A princess must not use such foul language, your highness,” Kanroji chided, “although I must say that I never expected you to fall for those…older men.”

You sighed in annoyance, “technically, I can do whatever I want, Lady Kanroji.”

“Unfortunately, Lord Tomioka is already married to the royal doctor, Lady Kocho,” Kanroji ignored the tone of your voice, “perhaps it would be wise to listen to King Ubayashiki’s words and look for a potential suitor at the next royal ball?”

“I doubt he has that much love for her,” you muttered, “perhaps I could pull Lord Tomioka aside during the festivities and–”

“Your highness, with all due respect, you will do no such thing,” Kanroji admonished you.

“But I’m the princess, Lady Kanroji, surely he’d see that as an opportunity for upward mobility, no?”

Kanroji sighed, deciding not to push the topic further. She motioned for you to stand up so she could undress you. You turned your back to her as she started untying the strands of your outer bodice, before removing it and working on the following layers to place them into a soiled linen basket.

“My princess will wash her face before heading to bed, we don’t want any bad air to ruin your perfect skin,” Kanroji urged as she helped you into your night slip.

“You don’t need to treat me like I’m five, Lady Kanroji. I know how to take care of myself.”

Kanroji schooled her expression from that of a tight-lipped smile to one with gentle radiance.

“Of course, your highness.”

You headed to your bathroom, but, rather than washing your face by yourself, you merely sat down on a cushioned chair beside the door. Kanroji followed, obtaining a washcloth made of the softest cotton and dipping it in water which she had warmed prior to your arrival. She dabbed at your face, removing any excess dirt or sweat which built up throughout the day, before lathering some soap into the cloth and gently applying it to your face, before rinsing it away with more water.

After she patted your face dry with another towel, she handed you your toothbrush and paste, and, after you had finished, provided you with water and a spit cup so you could rinse out your mouth. 

“My princess seems to be all ready for bed now, let’s get you cozied up for the night.”

She led you back to your bedroom, and you buried yourself in warm blankets, choosing not to respond as she blew out one final candle and bid you a good night.

—

The following day, upon your wake, the birds outside of your window were surprisingly quiet. You’d quite often awake to the chirps of songbirds and hoots of mourning doves, which would rise you out of your restful sleep. 

You stood up from your bed, and walked over to your wardrobe, excited to see if the maids had fully cycled your favorite dress through the laundry – one which had been inspired by your own confidence, merely amplifying everything desirable about your figure. It exemplified your wealth, your status; it brought you up into the clouds of materialism as others looked up at you in pure awe.

However, upon opening your wardrobe, you were shocked to find yourself looking at the wooden backing of the closet rather than your endless amounts of clothing that usually hung from the racks – something that you had not laid eyes upon ever since you first received the piece of furniture.

“Kanroji!” you yelled for your assistant, who, despite being summoned, still had the courtesy to knock upon your door before entering.

“Is something wrong, my princess?” she asked delicately as always, yet her honeyed lips did nothing to calm you down.

“You did this, didn’t you?” you accused her as you waved your hands haphazardly towards the empty wardrobe, “why do I not have any clothing to wear?”

Kanroji looked at you in pure confusion, before walking over and gazing upon what you were talking about. She sighed, “I didn’t do this, your highness, perhaps one of the maids went to wash all of your clothing and forgot to return it?”

“Why would they think to wash clothing which hasn’t been worn!?” you argued, “what should I do, then, if I don’t have anything to wear?”

Kanroji pondered for a moment, before seemingly coming to a solution.

“Well, my princess, if you would be so kind to take into consideration this idea I have, I may have a solution–”

“Just spit it out!”

Kanroji sighed, trying not to be taken aback by your rude behavior, “I believe we have extra clothing which is usually reserved for the royal staff. I could go fetch one for you if–”

“So I am to wear a servant’s clothes? To dress myself as a peasant?”

“No, my princess, the royal staff uniforms are hardly clothing meant for a commoner, they are still made of fine quality fabric and are sewn by the best seamstresses in the kingdom.”

You rolled your eyes, “fine, but only because there’s no other choice. Bring me the peasants’ clothing.”

Kanroji turned on her heel and left your room to fetch the uniform, leaving you to walk around your room in silence. After pacing around for a few minutes, you went up to your window, where a songbird had made its nest and laid its eggs.

You had asked time and time again for the staff to remove the nest, as it was partially obstructing the view of your garden, yet they hadn’t gotten around to it, it seemed.

However, today, the nest was completely empty – not a bird nor egg in sight.

“Princess, I’ve gathered a uniform set in your size,” Kanroji said behind you, prompting you to turn your head.

“Give it here.”

She handed you the folded clothing, and you held it out in front of you, inspecting it with expressive disgust.

“How am I supposed to put this on? It’s too frilly and complicated.”

“Allow me, your highness,” Kanroji muttered, before taking the uniform and having you step into it, buttoning it up and smoothing out the skirt.

“You look beautiful as always, my princess,” she smiled at you.

“I’d hardly say that,” you grumbled, “take me to my gardens, won’t you? I need some fresh air after this whole–” you waved your hands trying to find the right word, “–mess.”

Kanroji nodded, “of course, your highness.”

She led you through the winding corridors of the castle, and, as much as you preferred being the one leading, today you were almost hiding yourself behind your assistant – not wishing for anyone to look down upon you for the clothing you wore.

Yet, after a while, you realized that no one spared a second glance toward you. Not a single maid, nor servant, bothered to bow or greet you as you walked by. Easily offended by their lack of etiquette, you caught up with your lady-in-waiting, Kanroji, and whispered harshly into her ear.

“Why are they not greeting me? Usually they bow upon seeing or hearing me walk by. I have never seen such insubordination in my entire life–”

“My princess, it may be due to your clothing. You are wearing quite an unusual outfit for a royal today, and they are quite busy with setting up the decorations and such for the ball. I plead with you to be patient with them, your highness.”

You huffed, but remained silent after hearing her reasoning, your shoulders hunched in annoyance as Kanroji led you outside.

Your garden was one of the more peaceful areas of the palace. It was strategically placed so that you could view it from your bedroom window, a hectare of greenery reserved just for yourself. It caught the rays of sun through the early morning to late evening, with a rather beautiful fountain built in the very center of it made of marble, sculpted with three tiers that had water flow down into a rounded reservoir. The reservoir itself had sculptures sitting on the edges of the fountain – with one of the notable figures being that of Icarus.

Along the border of the garden, white and purple hydrangeas bloomed in the late morning sun, which gave way to various other floral species. It was all proper and organized, each plant having a designated area for it to flourish in. Walking further into the garden, you held out your hand to trace your fingers along the petals of buttercups, a flower which had always been one of your favorites – its delicate appearance attracting you to it. 

You approached a small gazebo that found its place on the edge of the garden, a shaded area for you to use should you grow tired. Taking a seat, you exhaled slowly, recollecting yourself from the earlier mishap that was out of your control, almost entering a sort of meditative state. Your thoughts, however, wandered, and eventually led you to your fathers words of having you become married.

“Lady Kanroji?” you asked, and she smiled kindly at you – just as she always did. It was a rather comforting sight, to have someone so close that didn’t seem bothered by anything in the entire world.

“Yes, my princess?”

“Do you ever feel like…your life is out of your hands? Like you’re starting to lose control?” you asked, voice slightly uneasy as you turned your head away from her, deciding to rather admire flowers which neighbored the bench you sat on.

A bumblebee flew past you, its fat little body buzzing between flowers, working hard to pollinate each one.

“Well, yes, everyone does– but, what is making you feel this way, your highness?”

“I mean, look at this bee here– it probably thinks about nothing but how it needs to pollinate flowers and collect nectar for its hive – wherever that may be, right?”

“Of course, princess,”

The bee landed on a lone calendula, burying itself in pollen, before taking a quick moment to rest before flying off to another part of the garden.

“I wish my life was more like this bee. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything except the task in front of me.”

“Princess, is this about the clothes in your wardrobe being missing this morning?” Kanroji inquired.

You shook your head, “no, I’ve accepted that as a small mishap. I’m more worried about how my freedom might be taken away from me, with being married soon and all, especially to someone that I—”

“—that you know nothing about?” Kanroji finished for you.

You nodded, before eyeing a blooming foxglove plant, approaching it and plucking a single flower from its stem, twirling it in your hand as you admired its range of colors. 

“I just wish that, at least, my last few days of freedom before this ball will be alright.”

Kanroji tentatively, ever so diligently following your every step, took your hand in hers, “I am wishing only the best for you, my princess. I promise that your husband will be as kind and as loving as can be.”

You smiled at her, still holding the foxglove in your hands, “thank you, Lady Kanroji.”

“–and if he’s not, then I promise to make his life a living hell,” she grinned, causing a hearty laugh to emerge from your chest.

“That hopefully won’t be necessary, but I thank you nonetheless.”

You looked down towards the ground, noticing that an invasive species of yellow tansy has taken root in the soil all throughout the garden.

Groaning, you looked up towards Kanroji once more, “do we not have a gardener to get rid of these weeds?” you asked exasperatedly, and she chuckled.

“Your highness, with all due respect, didn’t you fire them last week because they pruned your rose bush in a way that wasn’t to your liking?”

Sighing, you responded, “you’re right, we’ll need a new one soon, perhaps one of the servants would care for a promotion?”

“We’ll see about that, my princess. As for now, though, how about we get you washed up from being outside, and then after I’m sure we can have the royal chef make you one of your favorite meals for dinner later? As a little treat for all the anguish from today, perhaps?”

You smiled, “that sounds wonderful.”

—

You sat in the great hall of the castle, sampling hors d'oeuvres and sipping on champagne, chatting idly with your assistant at your own private table, watching waiters and waitresses move about through all the different tables, serving appetizers and samples of foods to both guests and royals alike.

Music played in the background from an entourage of pianists and violinists, who were playing some piece from Beethoven that you couldn’t recall the name of.

Feeling refreshed, you called over the waiter for yet another glass of champagne, motioning him to fill up Kanroji’s glass as well.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly–” Kanroji protested, to which you waved your hand in front of her.

“C’mon,” you grinned, “you work so hard. Just one glass? Please?”

She huffed in feigned annoyance, but relented as she let the waiter fill up her glass with the bubbly drink. 

“You seem much happier now that the maids found one of your spare dresses in the dried laundry, don’t you?” Kanroji grinned.

You nodded, “I feel more beautiful this way. I really disliked that maid uniform. I felt so…inferior.”

“Clothing does not make a princess, you know,” she reminded you simply as you took another bite of food, and Kanroji grimaced as you opened your filled mouth to talk.

“I know. ‘M a princess regardless o’ wha’ ‘m wearin’,” you mumbled before swallowing, “you don’t need to remind me.”

Kanroji sighed as you so easily missed the point she was trying to make, watching as you waved for the waiter to come by, ready to order your meal. 

“What should I have prepared for you this flashy evening, your highness?” he asked.

The man before you was tall and muscular, with white hair that fell down his shoulders and crimson eyes that reminded you of rubies. He took out a notepad to write down your orders when you realized his left hand proudly displayed three golden bands which were embedded with diamonds, each one on a separate finger. 

You could hardly believe he was just a mere waiter for the castle.

With his looks, you believed he could be doing much better.

“Would it be so bad if I said ‘you’?” you smiled lazily at him, causing him to chuckle at your statement.

“Unfortunately, my princess, I am a happily married man,” he said, pointing to the three rings, “although I wouldn’t be opposed to adding a fourth wife to the family.”

Your nose crinkled in disgust – not because he had multiple wives, no – but because you disliked the idea of having to share him with others.

What belonged to the princess should belong to her alone.

“I’ll pass,” you forced out, “I would, however, like to request the foie gras for my meal tonight, if you could you put that in for me — and, perhaps, a side of toasted baguette with caviar spread will do.” 

“Ah, my princess, as much as we are happy to make anything you desire, I must regretfully inform you that we do not have any foie gras for tonight.”

Your blood pressure started to rise. Putting on a fake smile, which was more akin to that of a grimace, you asked, “and what may be the reason for the kitchen being unprepared to take my order?”

“Your highness, I promise that it is not the kitchen’s fault. A strange occurrence, and a most un-flashy one, really – our local farmers have reported that every single one of their animals have escaped, and what’s more- they can’t be found anywhere within the borders of the kingdom.”

You thought back to the morning, when you made note of the usual songbirds outside of your window being absent.

“Do you not have any duck meat preserved?” you asked.

“No, your highness. We hunt the very same day that we prepare the meals so that they’re fresh. Which is why–”

“Which is why you’re supposedly unable to adhere to my request. I heard you the first time. No need to repeat yourself,” you huffed. “If you don’t have any meat, then what do you have?”

Just as the waiter was about to open his mouth, you held up your hand to stop him, “Never mind. Just get me a salad. Now leave us,” you glared at him, disdain heavy in your tone.

“Of course, princess.”

You rolled your eyes as he sauntered away, and Kanroji stared at you with a slight frown on her face.

“What is it?” you asked, taking her hand and holding it.

Kanroji tensed, but allowed her hand to stay rested on yours.

“It’s nothing, I promise,” she started, “I hope that you can be more patient with them, though, they are doing their best to serve you.”

You sighed, “whatever.”

You looked down at her hand, at which point a frown crossed your face.

“Lady Kanroji, since when did you have such an awful scar?”

Looking back up at her, she seemed slightly alarmed, taking her hand away from yours.

“What are you talking about, princess?” She looked down at her own hand, inspecting it as though she didn’t realize she had such a blemish.

“That scar– I don’t know why I only just noticed it, but–” you paused as she showed you her hand once more.

Her hand was flawless.

“You may have had too much to drink, princess, should I escort you back to your room?”

You looked at your assistant in utter confusion, “but–”

“I highly doubt it was anything more than a trick of the light,” she smiled reassuringly. “Let’s get you to your chambers now, alright princess?”

—

You awoke to the pounding of fists against your door, jolting up from your bed.

“Princess! Please open the door!” one of the royal guards shouted from outside your chambers.

Groggily, you walked up and opened it, to find the guard in what seemed to be a slightly confused panic.

“What’s going on?”

“You’ll have to come down to the royal gardens with me, princess, there’s something that was…er– left for you.”

In a huff, you followed his instructions, the guard following closely behind you, winding through corridors and staircases until you reached the outside, where a small crowd consisting mostly of royal staff could be seen huddling around something, exchanging whispers and gasps that were unintelligible.

“What in the hell did you raise me out of my bed for that needed my immediate attention?” you yelled back at the guard, who was only a few paces behind you, “forcing me to go outside while looking this indecent better have a good explanation.”

You pushed your way through the crowd, only to stop short as you gazed at what was before you: a dead cow, one that seemed to be entirely gutted, with its entrails scattered about around its body. 

The same guard walked up to you, tapping you on the shoulder before handing you a scroll, “this was laid beside the mauled animal,” he explained.

You unraveled it, only to read something that made you feel rather faint.

Here’s that meat you missed so dearly last night, princess.

You could almost laugh, if it weren’t for how absolutely no one could’ve heard about this conversation besides Lady Kanroji and the waiter himself.

Perhaps he notified the chef and one of the kitchen staff got upset? But that wouldn’t explain how they got the cow in the first place if all the animals are all–

“Princess?”

You looked up at the guard, who’s purple eyes seemed to be glimmering in the light of the morning sun.

“What is it?”

The guard frowned – at what, you couldn’t possibly tell – before he shook his head and walked back toward the castle.

Just as you were about to question him, Lady Kanroji came running out from the palace doors and stopped before you.

“Oh, my princess! I’m so glad you’re alright!” she wailed, seemingly disturbed by the events of this morning.

“I’m fine, but I’ll need each and every one of the kitchen staff that was working last night to be interrogated.” 

Kanroji seemed confused, but nodded, deciding not to question your reasoning.

“In the meantime, your highness, would you like to visit your garden again? I know that it tends to calm you down quite a bit and right now you seem quite…frazzled.”

—

“Lady Kanroji, how quickly do flowers usually grow?”

“Your highness, at this point, I have no idea.”

She looked just as confused as you were – gazing upon your garden, which looked entirely different from what it looked like yesterday. Rather than hydrangeas and the occasional foxglove bush blooming, the entire garden had been infested with snapdragons.

“I was here just yesterday, was I not?” you asked rhetorically, and Kanroji nodded in affirmation.

“Yes, you were, my princess.”

You sighed, “I don’t understand – all I wanted was a few peaceful days before I am forced into an arranged marriage. Am I not allowed something as simple as that?”

“Many are not afforded things that may seem simple to others, my princess, perhaps this is how the universe so ordained these few days to unfold.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better about my circumstances, though.”

“Perhaps not, but we can always do our best to make the most of what we are dealt, even if the hand we are given is not the best.”

You listened to her as you looked around the garden, seeing how endless the lines of snapdragon flowers seemed to be, and, in a moment of firm resolve, you lifted up the bottom of your slip before setting your feet bare into the soil.

“What are you doing, your highness? You will dirty your clothing if you–”

“I’m making the most of the hand I’ve been dealt, Lady Kanroji,” you explained, before beginning to weed out the unwanted snapdragon flowers from their roots.

Kanroji smiled, before following suit and helping you in your task, ridding the garden of unwanted plants to restore it to its former glory.

—

It felt like hours since you first arrived to your garden, your night slip entirely dirtied, and your hands caked with soil. The sun beat down on both of you, causing sweat to drip down your face as you smeared it away with your dirtied hands.

A crow flew down and landed in the garden next to you, poking its beak at the bundle of snapdragons that you’d picked out of the soil, you waved at it in order to shoo it away – but to no avail.

“I thought that there were no fauna left in the kingdom,” you mused, and Kanroji giggled softly.

“Apparently this little one didn’t quite catch the memo,” she smiled, causing you to chuckle.

However, another crow flew down a few minutes later, and then another – until there was nearly a flock of crows that surrounded each of you. 

“Lady Kanroji–?” you asked, concern lacing your tone as you looked around, with what seemed to be every single crow staring directly at you, as though you were nothing but prey to them.

It started off with one crow – which flew toward you and started picking at your night slip with its beak. You tried shooing it off, but doing so only invited another crow, and another, and another to do the same.

“Stop! What– stop!” you screamed as the crows continued tearing at your slip, leaving holes and cuts all throughout the thin cloth. You knelt to the ground, curling yourself into a tight ball as the crows hovered closely above you.

Until finally, the torment ceased.

Standing up, you looked around to see them flying away, before looking back at your assistant who seemed absolutely horrified by what just occurred. 

“Your highness–”

“Don’t. Say. A word,” you seethed, tears starting to brim your eyes before you rushed back to your chambers, Kanroji following closely behind you.

—

Sanemi’s POV

A yell of frustration could be heard from your chambers, causing a silent snicker to pass through his lips. 

He couldn’t help that he loved messing with you: you were the perfect prey for someone like him. Someone in a place of authority who needed to be knocked down a few pegs; a bratty princess who wanted everything to go her way – regardless of if it hurt those around her or not. 

Not only that, but the noises you made were music to his ears – how you’d groan and grumble and scream – all because of him. 

He was the one who was causing you all this grief.

And he loved it.

Unfortunately, it seemed that missing clothes and cooking ingredients were just not enough to make you absolutely lose your sense of control. 

“Kanroji!” you yelled from your chambers, causing his ears to perk up. You always had your poor assistant help you out, he realized, it was only ever a matter of time before her name could be heard from your lips. 

It pissed him off, really, that assistant of yours – she would always be there to step in and help you, no matter how terrible your behavior was. 

However, it seemed today that your assistant was nowhere to be found, and so he had the privilege of reveling in your annoyed grumbles for that much longer.

After what seemed to be about half of an hour, your chamber doors finally opened.

He decided that your expression must’ve been priceless, so he took the shape of a female guard and walked down towards your chamber doors.

However, he couldn’t stop his mouth from falling agape upon seeing you.

Your dress – which he intentionally shrunk down a size, caused your tits to spill out from the top of it. Not only that, but your skirt only went down to your mid-thigh, and he could only imagine what a sight it would be if you bent over to pick something up. 

He was frozen – he hated you, hated authority. He despised how you thought that you were simply better than everyone else – that it was somehow your birthright to be above everyone else.

So, why was he awestruck by the sudden beauty that was before him?

You turned your head to him – or, the female guard that he was disguised as – and gave him a nasty glare.

“The hell are you looking at?” you asked.

If there were a higher power, Sanemi would’ve thanked them a hundred times over for the fact that his shapeshifting ability could hide the hardening bulge in his pants.

After a moment, he managed to find his voice – and thankfully he remembered to make it fit the character he was playing as.

“Apologies, princess, did you need help with anything?”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed before marching away from him, and he couldn’t help but smirk as your figure turned down another long corridor.

Out of all the people he’s fucked with, you were definitely his favorite.

—

“Shit, princess, got me so fuckin’ worked up over nothing, didn’t ya?” Sanemi muttered under his breath as he fisted his stiff cock, not even bothering to start slowly as he fucked his hand with each unrelenting stroke.

The precum seeped out from his tip, allowing his hand to glide even faster along his thick length; he was harsh with it, the muscles in his forearm nearly burning at the pace of his movements. 

Sanemi snuck into your room after you left – having now memorized your daily schedule, he didn’t need to worry about you catching him in the act. It would be at least an hour before you returned to your chambers, giving him plenty of time to cum before then.

He laid upon your bed – the mattress softer than anything he ever had the luxury of experiencing before – as he stroked himself to the thought of ruining you.

He wondered if the plush of your skin would be even softer.

Gods, how he would love to trace his roughened hands along your delicate body, squeezing your tits, groping your ass.

You could stand to have a bit of punishment too, he thought before envisioning how he’d have you on your hands and knees, smacking your ass until it was red and sore.

Or maybe humiliation would be better?

He groaned as he thrust up into his hand as he thought of all the ways he could ruin your status, humiliating you in front of hundreds – no, thousands – of your subjects.

Maybe he could take it a step further than he usually would this time – oh, how he’d love to ruin you until you were nothing more than a needy slut for his cock.

“Fuck–” he grunted, before turning his head to the side, where he eyed a pair of your discarded panties in the corner of your room.

“Fuckin’ brat never learns to clean up after herself,” he muttered, climbing out of your bed to go pick them up.

Lucky me, he thought, bringing your panties up to his nose and inhaling deeply, his knees nearly buckling.

Somehow, the head of his cock turned an even angrier shade of red after breathing in your scent, with his length getting so stiff that it almost hurt.

“Fuck– princess,” he groaned, “smell so fuckin’ good,” he added, walking back to your bed before inhaling more of your musk, hips bucking involuntarily into his hand – his cock getting impossibly harder as he fucked himself to the thought of you. 

“Gonna make me fuckin’ cum like this, you fuckin’ brat.” 

His abdomen tensed as his seed shot out from his reddened tip, spilling it all over his hand and lower stomach. He hissed as he continued to stroke himself through his orgasm before pulling his hand back and letting it fall against the mattress, panting heavily.

“Are you sure you don’t have any spare clothes that fit, my princess?”

Sanemi’s eyes shot open, hearing your assistant’s voice from outside the door.

“Yes, I checked every single one and they’re all too tight! I’ve had difficulty breathing all morning because of this stupid outfit!”

You shouldn’t be back yet, he thought, but then again he did disrupt your morning for the third time this week – perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised.

He shot up from your bed, quickly stripping it as well as gathering any dirty clothing you had lying around before transforming himself into a maid.

The door opened, and Sanemi had to hold back a grin when he saw how frustrated you were, his cock starting to harden once more upon seeing your face contorted into a pout.

“Why are you here?” you asked him, before your assistant put a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Leave her be, my princess, she’s just doing her job.”

Sanemi nodded to her and took the linen that he had gathered out of your chambers, leaving you and your assistant alone for the time being.

By the time he was out of sight, he snapped his fingers – causing the linen to disappear completely.

It’s not like you’d care about missing some bedsheets for a while, right?

—

Y/N’s POV

You awoke the next day to the smell of smoke.

You weren’t able to sleep much anyway — namely due to being limited to a simple blanket as you laid on your bare mattress — all because the maid who took your sheets didn’t bother to communicate with anyone else that your bed would need to be made before you retired for the night.

After dipping in and out of sleep, tossing and turning in your freezing room, the sun had finally started to rise, and, although you usually never awoke before it was at least halfway up in the sky, today your sense of grogginess was replaced by complete alarm.

Was the castle burning?

You ran to the doors of your chamber, your already too-tight night slip nearly causing you to trip as you reached for its handle.

Cold.

You slowly opened the door, and the absence of flames relieved you.

Only thinking of yourself, you carefully made your way down staircases and through corridors – the smoke only becoming more intense the further down you went.

Perhaps a kitchen fire?

Yet, as you found your way to the castle entrance, you started to realize that the smoke had been coming from outside rather than in the castle.

Careful to not show your face through any windows – in order to protect yourself from being targeted by any potential enemies or rioters outside – you listened for voices and yelling to determine if the castle was under siege.

But, other than the distant crackling of flames, the night was silent.

Exhaling your fear, you gained enough courage to peek through one of the windows. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, you thought to go outside so you could locate the source of the smoke.

The castle door creaked open, and a plume of smoke entered through the doorway, resulting in a series of coughs which erupted from your throat. The grass you were on was dry as you walked further, the blades poking at the soles of your feet with each step.

You saw the orange glow of the flames in the distance, and, by the time you got close enough to see what was burning, your blood ran cold.

Your garden.

The entire area had been engulfed in flames – the plants reduced to cinders and ash. 

Tears ran down your cheeks as you watched the only place you felt true peace burn to the ground, the fire growing in size until reaching a crescendo of roaring crackles as it burned every remaining piece of your soul, unrelenting until the fire decided to quell itself, returning the borrowed flames to the sun as it rose above the horizon.

Until what remained was nothing but char and dirt.

You sat there for what felt like hours, sitting silently as your eyes reddened – from the smoke or from crying, one wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Your highness…” you heard a soft voice behind you, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to turn around.

The gentle, reassuring hand of your lady-in-waiting laid upon your shoulder once more – just as it had many times this past week. It was her way of consoling you, no matter how horrible things were.

“I’m so sorry,” was all she could offer, squeezing your shoulder as you gazed upon your garden – or what was left of it – in silence.

“Thank you, Mitsuri – but this isn’t your fault.”

Your friend sat down beside you, rubbing your back as you two watched the remaining embers flicker in and out of existence.

Until there was nothing else left for you to have.

—

Sanemi’s POV

Sanemi was smug – surely a fire would get your attention, would it not?

It was his last resort, but you had just been so awfully bratty and hostile to those around you.

He couldn’t just stand by the sidelines and let that happen, right?

The afternoon was eerily quiet, he hadn’t heard you yell for your assistant once today. Once you got back from your silly little playground, you locked yourself up in your room, not opening up for anyone.

So, that evening, he took on the form of that one maid again, and stole a skeleton key from one of the royal staff.

“Princess? May I come in?” He knocked on your door, and, after hearing no response, decided to unlock it, knocking once more as he entered.

You were sitting on your bed, staring into nothing, your hands lay silent in your lap.

“Princess?”

“What do you want?” you nearly whispered, as though the room around you might shatter into pieces should you speak any louder.

“Er–” Sanemi quickly skimmed through your daily schedule – something he had memorized every detail of – in order to come up with some excuse for interrupting your time alone.

However, he did not have time to answer, as you stood up and held your arms out from your sides – your expression flat and emotionless as your eyes remained fixed on the ground before you.

“Apologies, that was a stupid question,” you continued, your tone almost dejected before looking up at the maid before you, “It’s time for my bath, isn’t that right?” 

“Yes– yes, princess, of course,” Sanemi stuttered.

You simply stared, before speaking up, “well? Are you going to undress me or not?”

Sanemi’s ears flushed a bright red, but did indeed walk behind you – not wishing to reveal himself as an imposter by acting strange – and started to lift up your night slip, the very one you hadn’t changed out of since last night.

You smelled of burning ash, which wasn’t much of a surprise to him – but he didn’t expect you to withstand the smoke for so long, just to stare at the flames that he created.

He removed your night slip, using all of his willpower to not stare down at you while you were indecent.

“Take me to my bath, please,” you requested silently, and, to much of his surprise, he obeyed without a second thought.

He took your hand, leading you to your bathroom, where he simultaneously filled up your tub with warm water with the slight wave of his hand – as though it had been prepared for you all along, as though he knew this would be what he was getting into as he entered your room – your home.

You sat down in the clear water, ash ebbing off of you in ripples as water gently sloshed around you. He reached for a nearby cloth, and lathered it in soap, before rubbing it up and down your back, bubbles forming with each swipe of the cloth. 

You remained oddly silent, letting him wash you as he pleased – of course, you didn’t know it was him. 

He doubted you’d let him be within ten feet of you if he wasn’t acting as someone else.

Yet, when he went to clean your shoulders, he placed his false, dainty hand upon your shoulder, and you sniffled.

You were crying.

“Princess?” he asked cautiously.

You brought your hands up to your face, hiding yourself from the maid that washed you.

“What is happening to me?” you sobbed silently, breaths shaky as you inhaled, “My last few days have been horrible, and today was just— my garden is gone.”

Normally, Sanemi would feel a spark of pride upon hearing that he got under his victim’s skin, but now, he felt nothing but pure guilt.

Had he gone too far?

“Perhaps I’ve been cursed,” you whispered, “all I wanted was to live my last few days before I'm married in peace. I’m to be wed to someone that I don’t know the first thing about, to be silent and obedient, adhering to my husband’s every wish.”

He remained silent, unsure of what to say – he had been the cause of your suffering, at least in the short-term. This marriage of yours seemed unavoidable, something you’d have to endure for god knows how long.

He turned your face by your chin, gently pressing the washcloth to your cheeks, wiping away soot and tears with a few simple strokes. 

“I don’t even know what I did wrong, it all feels so– so unjust,” you confessed.

Had Sanemi not had centuries upon centuries to learn keeping up facades, he would have given himself away right then and there. In a mere second, you managed to replace the guilt that festered within his heart with pure rage.

How blind were you?

He said nothing as he finished washing you up, being careful to not scrub harshly at your skin despite his anger and hatred, and then toweled you up by the time he had finished. 

“Good night, princess,” he uttered before leaving you to dry yourself, resolving to not take a single glance back as you looked at him – or, looked at the maid – in pure confusion and hurt.

—

Y/N’s POV

“My princess,” Mitsuri whispered as she woke you up, “you slept for so long – it’s about time to get ready for the ball tonight.”

Your eyes shot open, anxiety spiking in your chest, “already?”

Mitsuri nodded, eyes softening in concern for you.

Fuck.

Mitsuri brought in a champagne colored dress which had been specially designed for you – taking all of your measurements into consideration, as well as a white mask with gold lining, and white feathers which were reminiscent of a swan. 

Mitsuri helped lace up the dress, which, unlike the rest of your outfits, thankfully fit quite well. She then placed the mask on your face, before taking your hand and gently leading you down to the great hall – where the festivities would soon begin.

Upon opening the doors, it became difficult to breathe, with people clustered together, voices clashing together as conversations carried through the hall. There was some dancing, yet those who were taking their chances on the ballroom floor seemed rather clumsy and uncoordinated in their steps, while those who were on the sidelines speaking with relatives and strangers alike sampled foods from trays that disappeared and reappeared along with the waiters that weaved haphazardly through the hall. 

You walked toward the front of the room, picking up your dress so as to not trip on the ornate staircase which led up to where your father – and King – waited for you.

“You look quite beautiful, my child, I hope you will be able to enjoy tonight’s celebrations,” he beamed, and you nodded in response.

“Are there any plans you have for me, father?”

“I do have a few princes I’d like for you to meet – namely those from the Agatsuma, Iguro, and Rengoku bloodlines. They all show promise – perhaps some more than others – of being benevolent rulers.”

As though prompted, a blonde man walked up the stairs toward you and your father, his hand shaky as he extended it toward you. Otherwise, there were no particular qualities of his that stood out to you. You looked at him expectantly, awaiting some sort of introduction.

“Y-your highness! May– may I please have your first dance of the night?” the man before you sputtered, and it took everything within you to properly school your expression so that your father wouldn’t scold you for poor behavior.

“May I know who I have the pleasure of dancing with?” you managed to ask the blonde, who seemed as though he would keel over and faint at just about any moment.

“Oh– I’m Zenitsu Agastuma, sorry–” he introduced himself, bowing before you.

Reluctantly, you curtseyed back, before placing your hand in his, grimacing at the clamminess of his skin. 

He placed his other hand on top of yours, “Thank you! I promise you won’t regret this!”

He took you down to the floor, muttering brief apologies to every person you two passed by. By the time you two the center of the great hall, he took one of your hands and placed it on his left shoulder blade, before taking his right hand in your left.

“Are you expecting me to lead?” you asked, and his face went bright red.

“If that’s alright with you, my lovely princess, and– if we could just do a simple box step, perhaps? I– I’m not too good with dancing,” he said sheepishly.

You sighed, deciding to take the lead in a box step, with him following each of your movements, until he tripped over your shoes.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he exclaimed, obviously nervous, his movements short and jittery with each subsequent step.

You sighed, but then he tripped over your feet again, and again, muttering out apology after apology each time.

By the time the song had finished, you’d had enough of him and walked him off of the dance floor.

“Wait– please! Give me another chance! I– I promise I’d be a good husband, please!” he babbled, tears flowing down past his mask and down his cheeks. You forced him off of you, shaking your hand so he’d let go.

You went to sit down next to your father, who seemed to be chuckling in amusement.

“Are you laughing at me, father?” you asked, your tone tense after what humiliation the blonde had caused you in front of your subjects.

“No, no– I promise I’m not,” he smiled, before summoning the next prince that he’d mentioned – a rather short man with black hair. Through his mask, you could see that his eyes were quite beautiful – being two separate colors.

Yet, his eyes were elsewhere, staring longingly at your friend, Mitsuri, rather than you.

“Erm– hello, may I ask for your name?” you asked the man.

“Hmm? I’m not interested,” he said curtly, “I decline the opportunity to dance with you, princess.”

Your mouth hung open, absolutely offended by the man before you.

“Are you absolutely sure, Prince Iguro?” your father questioned, and the prince nodded in affirmation.

“Yes, please honor my choice, your highness.”

Your father sighed, dismissing him and the prince quickly found his way to Mitsuri, who started blushing up a storm as soon as he started speaking with her.

At least one of us will have a chance at finding love tonight, you thought.

The last prince whom your father mentioned was summoned next, a young man who seemed rather jovial and filled with vigor, with hair that resembled that of flames themselves and eyes that were reminiscent of crackling embers.

“Your highness, would you be so kind and allow me to dance with you?” he smiled, a grin that was infectious as it caused you to return your own.

“Of course,” you happily responded.

He took your hand, kissing your knuckles before leading you back to the center of the ballroom, placing a hand on your left shoulder and leading you into the dance.

“I hope that this evening has fared well for you so far, my dear princess,” he said, twirling you around.

It was comforting – he was comforting. He provided you with air where you felt you could not breathe.

“It is going much better now that I am here with you, dear prince,” you smiled, “may I ask for your name?”

“Kyojuro Rengoku,” he answered, before leaning you into a dip and bringing you back upright, guiding you into another step, and another.

He was incredibly smooth with his movements – all until a waiter accidentally bumped into him, spilling wine down the back of his suit.

“My prince! I’m so, so sorry–” the waiter apologized, trying to clean up his suit with a spare cloth.

Kyojuro simply laughed it off, “it’s quite alright, dear waiter,” before turning to you, whispering “I’ll go get changed, and then I’ll be back for you, alright, my dear princess?”

You felt a warmth creep up your cheeks before nodding, seeing him give you a quick wink before he was off.

Your observing of the kind prince was interrupted by a gentle touch to your shoulder. Thinking it was Mitsuri, you turned around with a smile on your face, which quickly faded into one of confusion upon seeing the person in front of you.

“Hello, princess, may I have your next dance?”

The man before you was about as tall as Kyojuro, with white hair that seemed untamable. A man who displayed scars in every place of exposed skin, his raven mask unable to fully conceal the ones on his face.

Perhaps he was a royal knight of some sort?

“And who are you, may I ask?” you inquired, and a small smirk stretched along his lips.

“Sanemi, dear princess, my name is Sanemi.”

He extended his hand, which you observed had a similar scar to the one you thought Mitsuri had just a few nights ago.

Hesitantly, you placed your hand in his – immediately noting the warmth and roughness of his skin – as though he’d spent years working with them. His grip was firm, but not harsh – indicating knowledge of his own strength. 

His right hand slid down to the small of your back, finding its purchase just above your hip – not daring to go lower. He led you into a similar waltz that Kyojuro placed you in, yet, this one somehow felt more…intimate.

“Sanemi,” you started, rolling his name along the tip of your tongue, “do you not possess a last name? Or are you perhaps a scoundrel with a tarnished reputation?” you teased, each step between the two of you smooth, almost calculated as he led you through the ballroom.

“Do you believe you have earned my last name, princess?” he whispered hotly, to which you felt heat prickle along your face. 

He chuckled, “apparently not. But–” he led you into a quick spin, before pulling you close once more, “if you get to know me well enough, perhaps I’d be so willing to indulge in your curiosity.”

“Get to know you? Is that supposed to be some sort of challenge?”

“If that is how you perceive it,” he responded vaguely.

Curious, you were – the man before you hauntingly beautiful, the smoothness of his voice and his mystery, combined with his confidence made it difficult to believe he wasn’t of royal blood..

He’d definitely be fit as a King, you thought.

“What, may I ask, is your occupation then, Sanemi?” you asked, wishing to glean more information from the masked man.

“I’ve done quite a few things in my life, and I’d say that I'm competent in all that I do, princess.”

“A jack of all trades is a master of none, you should know,” you challenged.

“Ah, but oftentimes better than a master of one,” he continued, leaning closely into you, his breath gracing your ear, “and trust me darling, I’m a master of all of my works.”

Your face heated up at his claim, thanking the fact that he’d led you into a spin, so you could somewhat hide your embarrassment.

“Is that so? Then I think you’d have to show me one day, Sanemi.”

“Who’s to say that I haven’t already?” he avowed, his violet eyes sparkling behind his mask with knowledge unknown to you.

“What do you mean?” you inquired, side-stepping before he leaned you into a dip, his eyes looking directly into yours as he leaned closely into you.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, dear princess, I promise you’ll find out soon enough.”

As he brought you back upright, he parted from you, before taking your hand and kissing your knuckles – just as the prince before him did.

With his other hand, seemingly from nowhere, he pulled out an orange lily, and placed it into the hand that he kissed.

“I found this growing on the outskirts of your garden just yesterday. Such a shame the beautiful thing burned down.”

Speechless, you took the lily from him.

“Your condolences are appreciated.” You brought the lily up to your nose to take in its scent, before smiling at him and curtseying. “Thank you for the flower, and the dance, Sanemi, I’ll do well to remember you.”

—

“Father, please, I implore you to tell me who you have decided upon,” you begged, having waited impatiently until a majority of guests had exited the palace and gone home. Maids and servants proceeded with cleaning up the hall quickly after most of the festivities died down, and by now, most tables had chairs overturned on top of them, and mops could be found in use scattered throughout the ballroom floor. 

“My dear child, I am not able to give you an answer as you so wish. My advisors and I will need to convene and discuss our thoughts on what marriage would prove best for our kingdom.”

“Well, if you’d let me, I’d hope that you’d keep in mind that prince from the Ren–”

“My dear, as much as I’d love to take into consideration your opinion, this is a matter of kingdom survival, and thus my advisor’s opinions will have much more weight than my own child’s.”

Your mouth fell slightly agape, “but, didn’t you promise that you’d take into consideration the prince I got along most kindly with?”

“I did, my dear, but I have decided to rescind that statement. After your rather childish tantrum you displayed in front of me and my advisors, I came to the realization that you are not mature enough to make decisions that take more than just yourself into consideration.”

“But–”

“Child, indeed it is a most regrettable decision, but if I am to keep the kingdom’s interests in mind, then I will do what I believe is best.”

Tears of anger brimmed in your eyes as you once again stormed away from your father, exiting through the rather large doors at the end of the great hall and marching through them. You raced toward your chambers, where you wished to sob into your pillow until the morning came.

“Your father is right, you know,” a low voice spoke from one of the more darkened corridors as you passed by, causing you to stop dead in your tracks.

Looking around, you saw no one – you were alone, and yet, somewhere, someone was speaking to you.

Not only that, but they’d also listened in on the conversation you’d had with your father.

You peeked down one corridor, trying to make out a figure in the shadows, when you were suddenly pushed into the stone wall, a hand reaching around your mouth as a body held you in place.

“Don’t. Scream.”

A muffled cry came out of your throat, which prompted the assailant to point a cold, metal blade to your throat.

“The hell did I just fuckin’ tell you, sweetheart?”

Your breathing became rapid, panic ensuing as the knife trailed down your throat – just gentle enough so as to not draw any blood.

“Y’know, princess, I’ve been tryin’ to get you to see your wrongdoings this entire fuckin’ week,” the stranger started, “but you just don’t fuckin’ learn, do ya?”

Your eyes widened as you realized this person had been responsible for everything.

Including your garden.

In a fit of rage, you tried biting your assailant's hand, to which he simply moved it to constrict lightly around your throat.

“Oho–! Do we have a biter here, sweet thing? And to think that I always thought your bark was worse…”

“You bastard, let me go! I’ll have your fuckin’ head for this!”

“Oh sweetheart, you’ll definitely have my head, but not in the way you seem to think. Y’see, I’ve been tryin’ so fuckin’ hard to get you to understand how pretentious you are, how much of a snob you are, and, frankly, I’ve run out of ideas, princess.”

He turned your face towards him, making you realize it was the same person who’d danced with you at the ball – the man with the scars, the white, unruly hair, and his strikingly violet eyes.

“Sanemi?” you asked, even though in your heart you knew it was him.

Sanemi grinned, “ah, so you do have a brain up there in that pretty little head of yours,” he sneered at you, “then maybe this last little lesson I give you will be the one that finally sticks.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” you hissed, and Sanemi chuckled as you struggled against him.

“Oh, princess, have you not realized what I’m gonna do yet?” he cooed mockingly, “I’m gonna fuck the brattiness out of you, sweetheart.”

A small gasp left your lips at his assertion, yet, you couldn’t help the feeling of heat spreading both across your cheeks, as well as the kindling of flames within your lower stomach.

You were to be forcefully married, to live a life of servitude to your husband – who will be pronounced King once your father passes, to endure a loveless marriage – with tolerance of your significant other being the most you could possibly hope for. 

You could have a little fun before all that, couldn’t you?

Sanemi darkly chucked behind you, “I can smell your arousal, sweet thing, you really do want this, don’t ya?”

The man threw the knife to the ground before licking a stripe up your neck and leaving bites across the expanse of your skin, starting with your earlobe and working his way down to your shoulder, teeth sharp as they grazed along your body.

You shivered, embarrassment flooding your veins at how you reacted to his touch – you shouldn’t want this, you were a princess, a proper lady who knew that doing such acts before marriage was scandalous.

But, did you truly care about your marriage?

With each brush of his roughened hands against your skin, the consequences that threatened your wishes of this continuing faded further and further.

Sanemi worked his hands to the center of your back, his fingers deftly untying the lace of your dress – as though he had experience in such skills before this.

“Such a fuckin’ slut, wishing for me to take you before you’re married – what would your father think?” he asked mockingly as he pushed your dress down, revealing your breasts to him.

“Oh– that’s right, you don’t care much of what he– or anyone– thinks, do you?” he answered his own question, before leaning down and pursing his lips around one of your nipples, sucking harshly at your tits, earning a soft gasp from you as your face contorted at the sensation. His tongue laved against the softness of your skin, before biting down – making you let out a sharp hiss before bringing your hand up to his hair and tugging at it.

He looked up at you, hate and lust evident in his eyes as he pulled off of you with a lewd pop, and, just before you thought he would move on to the other tit and perform the same actions, he instead raised his hand and gave a sudden, hard slap to your breast.

“Ah–!” you gasped, evoking a laugh from him.

“Oh, do you like pain, brat?” he taunted, causing you to flush intensely across your cheeks as he landed another slap to your other tit, to which you let out another, shorter gasp from you.

“Answer the question, slut.”

Whimpering, you slowly nodded, and he grinned before roughly grabbing at your tits, rolling your nipples in between his fingers.

“Then get on your knees f’ me.”

You looked at him as though he were crazy, but, with one last slap to your tits, you quickly complied, lowering yourself to the ground.

“Isn’t this a sweet sight?” Sanemi chuckled, “a princess kneeling before someone else – how cute.”

Humiliation seeped into your veins as you looked down at the floor, unable to meet his eyes with  your own, until he forced your chin up, and– after a small wave of his hand, you felt someone else pushing you down onto all fours. Flinching at the contact, you quickly turned your head around to see another Sanemi staring back at you – fully naked and littered with scars.

“What–” you started, before the second Sanemi started to rip your dress off of you – ruining it beyond repair.

“Oh, are you surprised, princess?” the original Sanemi asked, “how did you think all of the shit that happened to you this past week came about?”

Before you could answer, a rough smack landed on your ass, the strength of it causing you to be pushed forward as you whined at the stinging pain that Sanemi’s hand left behind.

“That’s one, brat, I think you could stand to handle a bit more, can’t you?” the Sanemi in front of you decided before taking his cock out of his pants as the one behind you dealt a smack to your other asscheek. He started stroking his cock with his fist as his double continued his assault behind you.

“You’re so fuckin’ wet already,” muttered the one behind you, as you felt two fingers dip in between your folds – collecting your slick before landing another blow, “such a goddamn whore, aren’t ya? And all from being spanked? You’re fuckin’ filthy, princess.”

Smack!

Smack!

Smack!

Tears were starting to escape your eyes – your ass starting to feel raw from the constant blows. The tears found their way down your cheeks before the Sanemi in front of you lifted your chin up with one hand, stroking his cock furiously with the other as he groaned at the sight in front of him.

“Fuck– I’ve wanted to ruin you all week, princess, make you nothing more than a whore for my cock – to turn you into a braindead fucktoy all for my pleasure.”

You whined at his confession, leaning forward a little in an attempt to catch his lips with yours before he pulled away from you, leaving you feeling unfulfilled before his clone landed a harsh slap to your pussy – causing you to yelp as the clone started to prod his fingers at your entrance.

“Please, more,” you begged.

“Hmmm, I don’t think you deserve more, princess,” Sanemi smirked, before closing the distance between you and his cock – the tip of which blushing a deep red as precum seeped out from it.

“Be a good girl for once and earn your pleasure.”

You hesitantly looked up at him, before reaching out your hand and delicately wrapping it around his thick cock. Sanemi hissed, not fully expecting how soft and plush your hand would feel when wrapped around him.

Starting out with some slow, gentle strokes, Sanemi started bucking slightly into your hand – not used to how languid and soft your movements were. You traced your thumb over his leaking slit, gathering his precum before moving back down his length.

The clone behind you finally pushed his fingers deeper into you, making you whine at the intrusion as he curled his fingers inside your wet heat, moving at about the same pace that you stroked the other one’s cock, repeatedly pressing into that one area that pulsed pleasure through your abdomen with each movement. You writhed in his hold, resulting in him using his other arm to keep your hips in place as he fucked you with his fingers.

“M-More,” you whimpered, closing your eyes at the sensation of his fingers inside of you, his tortuous pace and his hold on your hips forcing you to take only what he decided to give you – what he thought you deserved.

“Uh uh–” Sanemi tutted, grabbing your perfectly styled hair into his fist, pulling your head up toward him, “keep your eyes open, brat, you still gotta work on my cock, remember?”

You nodded, opening your eyes as you focused on stroking his cock, increasing the speed at which your hand glided along his length.

Sanemi’s fingers, too, picked up a faster pace, two of his clone’s thick digits pumping in and out of you, until the only sounds that could be heard were the slick of your hands working on each other and the soft grunts and moans coming from each of your throats.

Then, without warning, the clone decided to remove his fingers from your pussy. Whining, you tried pushing your hips back to receive more attention from him, only to let out a shaky moan when you felt his wet tongue travel along your slit.

“Fu–uh–ck” you shuddered as he lapped up your juices, his hands spreading along the meat of your ass, making you wince slightly from remnants of the earlier punishment you received.

“Shit, you taste so fuckin’ good,” the clone muttered as he licked a broad stripe up your cunt, “fuckin’ knew you would, princess, you always smelled so damn sweet.”

“H-Hah–?” you tried to conjure a response, which more so resembled that of a moan as it tumbled out between your lips.

“C’mon, don’t tell me I’ve fucked you stupid already, princess,” Sanemi chuckled, “just what do you think happened to all that clothing of yours? Especially your panties– god I couldn’t get enough of ‘em, your scent would linger for so damn long.”

An intense heat bloomed along your cheeks, realizing just exactly what he meant.

Sanemi’s clone groaned as he plunged his tongue into your heat, lapping up everything you gave him as he ate you out. You continued stroking the other’s thick length, bringing your lips to the tip of his cock, experimentally licking at his leaking slit. Sanemi’s grip on your hair tightened, encouraging you to keep going – to keep serving him.

You wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, a soft hum sending vibrations down his length as you reveled in the way his clone was sucking at your clit. Hollowing your cheeks, you started sucking at his bulbous head, using your tongue to lap up any precum that seeped out of his weeping slit. Sanemi pushed your head further down, impatient with you only giving attention to his reddened tip, which caused you to choke along his length as it entered the back of your throat, tears pooling around your eyes as your lips swollen lips took inch after inch of his thick cock.

“Fuck– that’s it, princess, just hold on a lil’ longer f’ me,” he grinned as he looked down at the mess you were quickly becoming, gagging around him like the good little slut you were, until he finally let you off of his cock, with you gasping for air.

Yet, his clone didn’t stop his assault on your cunt, switching between licking and sucking at your clit and feasting on the sweetness that came out of your wet heat. The original Sanemi put his hand underneath your chin once more, forcing you to look up at him as the tension in your stomach got tighter and tighter.

“God– so good,” you whined, relishing in how Sanemi’s tongue felt against your wet cunt, looking up at the one in front of you with the prettiest, watery eyes that he’d ever seen, eyes which begged him to let you cum.

Yet, just as the warmth in your stomach was about to spill over, the clone removed his mouth from your pussy, leaving you to clench around nothing as you whined and pouted at the one in front of you.

Both of them let out a light snicker, until the one holding your chin knelt down in front of you, grinning as he stared down at your pathetic form.

“Did you really think I’d let you cum so easily, little brat?” he inquired, the raspiness of his throat making his question all the more intimidating. You shook your head, knowing better than to argue or beg for what you wanted.

The Sanemi behind you gave a sharp slap to your pussy, causing you to yelp from how sensitive you were from the pleasure his tongue gave you only seconds before.

“Please– wan’ your cock, wan’ to cum around it,” you whined pathetically, trying to wiggle your hips as they were held in place by the clone behind you.

Sanemi’s eyes were wild as he smirked down at you, “Oh? You want my cock, princess? You want me to ruin you completely – make you a complete mess until you’re nothing but a hole for me to fill?”

You nodded quickly, eyes glossed over as he described what he could do to you. 

“Fine, just because you begged so sweetly for it – but you won’t be getting my cock, princess – not yet. You’ll have to make do with my double’s – think you can do that for me?”

“Yes– please, anything, plea–ah!”

Without warning, the clone behind you shoved himself balls deep inside of your hot cunt, breaking past the thin tissue near your opening and pushing deeper, until his tip nearly kissed your cervix.

Sanemi’s thrusts were rough, plunging into your heat fully with each strong push of his hips. His balls slapped against your clit, providing extra stimulation as he fucked himself into you, turning you into a whining, moaning mess.

The original Sanemi took in every expression and movement you made, relishing in how he was finally able to break you down into tiny little pieces. He grabbed his cock as his clone continued pumping into you, and started fisting himself at an equally fast pace.

“Look at yourself, princess, so fuckin’ pathetic, aren’t ya?” he grinned, “you’d always carry yourself like you were the most important person in the room – like no one else mattered but you, all because of your goddamn status.”

You whined in response, unable to verbalize anything as your mind softened with every single thrust of his cock; you were becoming malleable, your mind opening and wishing to be molded by him the more he fucked you.

“I reject all of that. You were never important – you’re nothing but a fuckin’ brat for me to tame, a slut who needs nothing but a cock to make her happy.”

He slapped your face with his cock, some of the release which seeped out from his tip managing to find itself on your cheeks before he began stroking himself at a furious pace once more. His other clone pounded himself into your cunt, the blunt head of it fucking that one spot inside of you which made your mind go blank.

He was right – you weren’t a princess, you weren’t someone with status or wealth or royal blood – you were nothing but a hole all this time for him to use and fill, a cumslut, a cocksleeve – all for the man in front of you.

How could you be so blind?

All you could do was moan, becoming more and more pathetic as his clone filled you with his cock, clenching around it and gripping his cock like a vice, your cunt sucking him back in every single time he pulled out.

But it wasn’t enough.

You needed – you craved the Sanemi in front of you. You needed him – not his clone, to take you, to truly beat you into submission like the dumb little brat you were.

“Please, please Sanemi– I need you,” you begged with the man in front of you, tears filling your eyes once more as you pleaded for him to fill you – to make you his.

The Sanemi in front of you said nothing before standing up to his full height as his clone removed his cock from you. The original Sanemi waved his hand yet again, this time allowing a cushioned mattress to appear in the small, dark corridor the two of you were in. 

The clone sat down on the mattress, before the original followed suit.

“Sit on my lap,” he demanded, and you obeyed immediately – thighs wrapping around his waist as he slipped his cock into you, to which your head fell to his shoulder as you let out what could only be described as a sigh of relief.

Sanemi gripped your hips, moving you up and down on his cock so you could get an understanding of what he wanted you to do, showing you exactly how he wanted you to bounce on his dick.

It wasn’t long before you grew enough confidence to perform the action by yourself, moving your hips up and down as you fucked yourself on his cock. Your arms found their way around his neck as you whimpered softly into his ear as you impaled yourself on him again and again – with no thoughts going through your mind other than the desire to make him feel good.

At some point, you noticed his clone behind you, a single digit nudging at the entrance of your asshole, pushing and prodding his finger gently so he could fully enter it inside of you. Heat prickled against your cheeks as you forced yourself to relax rather than tense at the unfamiliar contact – allowing the clone’s finger to work its way into your ass.

You continued to fuck yourself on Sanemi’s cock as one finger became two, opening you up further and further, before you felt a lubricant of some sort being conjured from the clone’s fingers, allowing him easier access to your hole as he continued fingering you.

“Relax f’ me, sweetheart,” the clone muttered as you whimpered in response, your movements slowing as you noticed his cock pressing against your ass – which had also been covered in lube – before slowly pushing into you.

You choked on a moan as you felt him stretch you out more than you thought possible, having fully stopped your movements in order to focus on accommodating his massive length inside of you.

Realizing this, Sanemi readjusted himself so that he was laying on his back, heels digging into the mattress before continuing to fuck into you. His clone got up on his knees before entering himself back into your tight hole, entering you when the other Sanemi pulled out – constantly being filled by either one of them without end.

“Fuckk,” you groaned, mind addled with pleasure as the two Sanemis kept filling you with their cocks, unrelenting in their thrusts as they bullied themselves deeper and deeper into your holes. You felt that same pressure building up in your abdomen again, becoming tighter and tighter with each plunge of their cocks.

“Please, ���m gonna– ‘m gonna,” you begged Sanemi once more as your tears started to flow freely down your cheeks, pleading with him to let you cum.

“No. You’re gonna fuckin’ hold it. You don’t get to cum until I tell you to,” he answered, making you whine yet again at how unfair he was being.

They started fucking you even harder, thrusts unrelenting as they took turns filling you up. It took everything within you to not cum – to obey Sanemi’s command, shutting your eyes tightly as you tried focusing on anything other than how good they were making you feel.

Both Sanemi and his clone’s thrusts started to become sloppier, rutting into you as they both started to reach their own ends.

“I’m gonna cum in this fuckin’ pussy,” Sanemi growled, his voice raspy as he fucked into you, his cock starting to twitch as he neared orgasm, “gonna cum in my pussy, isn’t that right, brat?”

You nodded, “Please! Need your cum Sanemi, please cum inside me–!”

With one final stroke, both him and his clone released deep inside of you – flooding both of your holes with their hot ropes of cum.

“Fuck! Too– too much! Gonna– ah!”

You couldn’t help it– the feeling of them filling you up felt too good. Despite desperately wishing to obey Sanemi’s order, you ended up orgasming all over their cocks, gushing around them as warm ropes filled you up, with both of them groaning as you clenched and pulsed around them.

“Fuck–! ‘M sorry! ‘M so sorry!” you whined loudly as you came, hips betraying you as you attempted to prolong your euphoria by grinding down onto them.

After coming down from your high, you were met with a stormy glare from the man in front of you. 

Your eyes widened, knowing you’d fucked up.

“I’m so sorry, Sanemi, I didn’t mean to, I–”

Sanemi grabbed your face, his thick fingers pressing into either of your cheeks.

“What did I fuckin’ tell you?” he asked simply, and a fresh set of tears brimmed at your eyes.

“Y-You told me not to cum,” you answered meekly.

“That’s right, brat,” he responded, waving his free hand to dismiss his clone – making his double disappear completely as he pulled out of your pussy. You whined at the lack of something filling you up, your poor cunt clenching around nothing once more as Sanemi moved away from you.

“On your back, now.”

You obeyed, flipping onto your back and spreading your legs for him without a second thought. You fought the urge to rub your clit – knowing it wasn’t your place to provide yourself pleasure anymore, as you watched him place his cock right in front of your entrance.

“Please, ‘m sorry,” you pleaded as you watched him glide it up and down your sopping pussy, gathering your slick on the tip of his cock. His lilac eyes met yours once more as he finally lined himself up at your entrance.

“If you want to cum so bad, fine. I’ll make you cum until you can’t even fuckin’ think anymore.”

He pushed his cock inside of you, flicking at your clit with his thumb as he dragged his length against your slick walls, brushing against that one spot which made you see stars.

“Please, nngh– need it,” you sobbed as he relentlessly fucked into you, before he took one of his hands and pressed it down on your lower stomach.

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll fuckin’ get it, brat–” he panted, “feel me? Feel my cock pressing all the way into your stomach?”

You nodded, eyes rolling back as he refused to let up, your orgasm building on itself again until it finally reached its peak once more.

“Fuck–!” you screamed as he fucked you through your orgasm, not letting up even as you came down from your high, denying you any break from the pleasure that he was giving you.

It wasn’t long before the next orgasm as Sanemi rubbed your clit at a similar speed to his thrusts, causing you to gush again around his cock. He groaned as your cunt pulsed around him, milking him for all he had – yet he didn’t stop, rather, he pulled orgasm after orgasm out of you – denying his own release in order to fulfill his promise of overstimulating you.

At some point – you weren’t entirely sure when – Sanemi folded you in half, your legs reaching your shoulders as he slammed even deeper into your cunt, his cock brushing against your cervix with each stroke. Your mouth hung open, your voice emitting short, unrestrained moans as he continued his assault on your pussy – fully abusing it until it molded into the shape of his cock.

“Shit, you’re gonna make me cum, brat,” Sanemi grunted as his hips fell onto yours with every single stroke of his cock. You whimpered, wishing for nothing more than his cum to fill you up – to breed you like the whore you were. 

You responded with incoherent babbles, whining and moaning the more he rutted into your cunt, his thrusts getting sloppier as he approached his peak for a second time.

“Gonna fill you up, make you pregnant before you’re even– hah– even married,” he panted, a promise which made you clench around him even more, “you’d like that, wouldn’t you, brat?”

“Y-Yes!” you managed to voice as he slammed himself deep inside you one final time, grunting as he filled you up – triggering your own final orgasm, causing you to milk him dry as he painted your walls white.

Sanemi collapsed to the side of you as the two of you regained your breath, staying like that for a few minutes before either of you spoke.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said awkwardly, “for ruining your garden in the way that I did.”

In response to your silence, he continued, “I had gone too far, I took something that you held dear to your heart away from you. I’m sorry.”

“I think I need to apologize as well,” you finally said, “not just to you, but to the others as well.”

Sanemi turned on his side, holding himself up by his elbow as he looked down at you, a slight grin on his face.

“You mean to tell me that fucking you was the solution to your brattiness this whole time? Not the crows or the dead cow–”

“Shut up!” you laughed as you smacked him in the chest, only causing him to grin more from your reaction.

“Am I wrong, princess?” he jokingly inquired, to which you hid your face from him with the palms of your hands – until he pushed your arms away, looking down at you with a triumphant smile on his face.

“You’re so stupid,” you half-heartedly spit at him, to which he put a hand to his chest in mock pain.

“You wound me, princess.”

You shook your head, scoffing as he got up, making the mattress beneath you disappear with a final wave of his hand, causing you to fall slightly onto the cold floor of the dark corridor.

“Are you going somewhere?” you asked him.

“I’m not exactly fond of castles, sweetheart, I can’t stand the pretentious atmosphere they tend to have.”

“So you’re leaving?” you further questioned, a little upset with the idea of not seeing him again.

“I am, but, if you are going to miss me so terribly, I could always sweep in and take you away from this wretched place, but I doubt you’d so easily leave your status and wealth behind.”

You remained silent, knowing that it would be near impossible for you to forsake all of which you knew and had for a simple, spontaneous desire to say yes, you would.

Sanemi smiled, his eyes soft as he gazed upon you – what was once hatred now replaced with something rather unfamiliar before vanishing before your very eyes, leaving you to stare at the emptiness of the corridor that you were in – having become alone once again.

Sighing, you stood up, gathering yourself – realizing that your once torn dress had been somehow completely repaired – as though it were entirely new.

With a little bit of difficulty, you managed to put your dress back on before heading back to your chambers, the unease of being married the following day looming over your mind once again.

The chirping of birds could be heard from your window once more, and, out of pure curiosity, you decided to peek out from your window to gaze out upon what was left of your garden. Yet, instead of seeing nothing but scorched soil, you managed to spot the blooming of a new plant – one which had not previously grown in your garden at all.

Rain lilies.

Perhaps, you thought, I should go down there and nurture them myself.

Taglist: @k-a-t-h-r-i-n-a, @wow-im-gay, @peanutpunchy, @love-me-satoru, @crazycatlddy, @pastelbluecloudy3, @dinosaur-crime-scene, @llearlert, @thisbicc, @gojoscumslut, @everyonesfinaldestination, @leehoonii-i, @roronoagem, @briefrebelfanalmond, @izuoyarmin, @ahashiraswife, @d1gitalbathh, @homo-homini-lupus-est-1701, @whatthefucksatan, @peachdues, @xxsabitoxx (If your name is crossed out, it means tumblr didn't allow me to tag you. Apologies for the inconvenience.)

I hope y'all enjoyed :)

[spicerackofblorbos]

Epilogue

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, eventual smut

☾ Author's note ➼ Heeeeyy I'm back. If you haven't had an eye on my masterlist for Unspoken Words, you might have missed that I've been working on an epilogue. SURPRISE. If you have, then here it is lol. I am OFFICIALLY done with UW and I'm so sad about it. ALSO for some reason my tumblr app hates me and any time I italicize a line, it italicizes the entire paragraph and I have no idea why. As always, the sign language lines are marked with ' and speaking lines marked with ".

Thank you to anyone who has taken time out of their lives to read my "little" story. I enjoyed writing about this little world and I could not be happier to know that most of you liked reading it. I appreciate you more than you know. Can you believe this is around 100k words? Crazy. Anyways, I'm gonna go write some more, I'll see ya around! <3

☾ Word Count ➼ ~4k

Reddish-orange leaves dance in a unique ballet number past the window you were currently staring out of. You can't keep your fingers from picking at the sleeves of your wool sweater as you wait for your speech therapist to come and get you from the semi-quiet lobby. The only noises you hear comes from the reception desk and the TV mounted opposite of the couch you were waiting on. The weather channel calls for a beautiful weekend with warmer than usual temperatures – which is good considering Halloween is tomorrow.

A side door leading to the back offices opens up, and your name is called from a stout brunette woman with large rimmed glasses and a kind smile. She holds it open as she beckons you forward, and you don't hesitate to smile back as you pick up your bag and make your way through the door and down the familiar hall on her heels.

You’ve been seeing Dr. Boreal for about almost two years now. You started speech therapy shortly after starting trauma therapy – something they had recommended. You weren't quick to decline the suggestion, but you'd be lying if you said you had ever thought about taking back your speech. Some time in your youth, you just assumed it was gone forever. That it was something that couldn't be fixed.

According to Dr. Foust, your trauma therapist, the speech block was mental. Therefore, it was something that could be explored and possibly broken through.

When he had said that, you had newfound hope and suddenly a silent goal to work towards.

It's like clockwork the way you stepped into Dr. Boreal's navy blue office, stepping over to the right and onto the plush cream colored couch meant just for patients. On the walls of her office sits multiple picture frames and motivational posters, all with smiles and bright colors. Her dark curtains sit parted, letting in the afternoon autumn sun that hits the wall next to you. You watch as she grabs the folder with your name on it before sitting in her large red chair and smiling over to you.

“So, how have you been? How was your trip with Levi?”

‘I’m doing well. And It was lovely! You were right, too. The road to Trost is gorgeous this time of year and the trees! So pretty.’ You think back at the little vacation Levi took you on just a week ago. He had taken the scenic route to the little town that you and he had rented a cabin in.

The leaves were at the end of their life and littered the ground wherever you went, crunching underneath your boots. Between the intimate moments and crisp atmosphere, it really was a magical time. Levi practically had to drag you back home.

On the way out, Levi found this adorable tea shop. It's not easy finding a place that made tea as well as he did, and of course he didn't say anything, but you could tell how much he enjoyed it. You won't soon forget the content on his normally stoic face. That reminds you of the little package snuggled in your purse so you reach down into it to pull out a small, rectangular tin.

‘I got this for you.’ You beam at her as you hand it over gently.

“Cranberry autumn tea?” She inspects the wording on the metal, hazel eyes glittering gold in the sunlight that reflects off the container. Her eyes shift to you as a grateful smile lights up her weathered face. “Oh you sweet thing, thank you so much. But you shouldn't have.”

‘As thanks for dealing with me.’ You laugh softly, leaning back into the plush couch.

“You know it's no problem. Even if I wasn't paid, I'd still enjoy your company.” She waves dismissively after setting her gift down on the table in front of her. “So, let's see where we left off last time.”

You pick at the edges of your sleeves once again as you watch her find the right place in her notes. Dr. Boreal is one of the kindest people you've had the pleasure of being around. Though she was being paid to help you, she always did so much more. She was patient with you when you struggled to get past certain goals, and when your voice hurt after a grueling session she would bring you herbal tea with honey to smooth the pain. Levi joked that you liked her tea more than his to which you always rolled your eyes at.

“Well you have made outstanding progress. Of course, there is still plenty we still need to work on. But you're doing well.” She looks down at her papers as she talks, the scratch of her pen fills the silence after she finishes. She looks back up to you. “Have you shown anyone your progress yet?”

Those around you are aware of your long journey through therapy. They even celebrated with you after one year - Hange's idea of course. Your sister couldn't hold it in when you had told them of the progress you've made and the goals you were looking forward to completing in the oncoming sessions.  

What they didn't know was that you were even in speech therapy, and how far in your speech recovery you were. Keeping it secret from Levi was getting harder with every passing week.

‘No, but I plan to soon, I promise.’ You pinch your lips together in a grimace. This has been a threat for the last 6 months but truthfully, you've been too scared to tell anyone. No, not scared. Nervous.

“Well, you know my stance on that. I’m sure they're going to be ecstatic, when you're ready to do so.” Dr. Boreal sets out a recorder to let you hear your voice the way she does, a tool you both found the most helpful when it came to fixing the areas that needed the most work. “Enough of that though, are you ready to start?”

With a confident smile, you open your mouth to speak.

.

A few hours later, you find yourself home and in the kitchen with your mind in another dimension. You’re currently plating up a vegetable tray on a tupperware platter as autumnal lofi weaves through the room from the speakers behind you. You’re so focused on arranging your sliced up miscellaneous veggies that you don't hear the metal key in the front door and the light footsteps of your boyfriend coming home for the evening.

“Hey.” Levi mutters from behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder to look at what you're doing – not without difficulty, of course. You jump at his sudden proximity causing you to drop the chosen dipping sauces in the middle of the platter, disturbing the once perfect arrangement.

There's a soft sigh from you, but you feel the giddiness at the expected company fluttering in your stomach. Even after a few years, he still gives you that effect. You twist in his arms to face him, and his gray eyes are downturned in concern.  

“Are you okay? Was therapy too much today?” He lessens his grip on you so you can pull your hands up to sign.

Levi Ackerman’s raven hair is slicked back from him running his fingers through it, and the way that it stayed put and the sheen on the strands, you can tell it must be raining. You've been so fixated on making sure it looked good that you hadn't even noticed. His gaze stares into yours as he searches for what might be bothering you, so you give him a reassuring smile.

‘No, it was actually really good. She said I've made a lot of progress.’

“That's good. Did you come home late, or have you been working on this tray the whole time?” He glances over your shoulder at the vegetables now thrown about on the counter.

‘Yes and no. I decided to run by the farmers market for more options. But they didn't have anything we didn't already have.’ You explain, shrugging your shoulders.

The afternoon sun was so nice on your face that you would have been a fool to not take advantage of it - and it's a good thing you did. Your eyes slide to the water droplets that drip down on the outside of the living room windows.

“Hm. Well we need to leave for Hange's party soon and you're not dressed. Let me finish this for you and you go get ready.” He leans in to kiss your forehead before unraveling his arms and pushing you in the direction of the bedroom. You only roll your eyes but make your way to the back as he asked.

Hange's Halloween Bash is something they have been planning for about a year. The moment the decorations went on sale last winter, she snatched up what she could. She said something about starting a new tradition for her friends turned family. Levi wasn't as excited about the prospect of such a social gathering but you were, and that was enough to get him to go.

Not only were you able to get him to go, you were also able to talk him into dressing up with you.  

In front of the mirror, you finish tying up a black corset that wraps around your waist. It helps form-fit the blue long sleeve dress that drops down to your bare ankles with your pair of flats completing the look. You were almost ready – all that was left was the big blue bow that you pinned to the back of your head as best you could. You suppose for a makeshift Ariel, this would do just fine. You almost chuckle at the irony of the characters you suggested to Levi a month ago.

A girl who can't talk and a prince that loved her despite it.

You do a small twirl in the mirror to make sure everything looks right. You almost jump out of your skin at the sudden sight of the person standing in the doorway. Levi leans against the door frame, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smirk. His hands are in the pockets of his work clothes as he watches you intently, taking in the sight of you. With a hand over your heart, you give him a small frown.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” He doesn't sound sorry at all.

‘You are too quiet for your own good. One day you're going to scare me so bad that I'm going to punch you.’ You shake your head but smile anyways. You make your way to the closet to pull out Levi's costume for the night, making sure to grab the red waist sash that threatens to fall to the floor.

“You keep saying that.” He takes the hanger from you but not before leaning in to give you a chaste kiss. With a small laugh, you head out of the bedroom and down the hall back to the kitchen.

On your way there, you take a moment to glance at the framed photographs on the walls. Levi made sure to hang up the pictures he took from his apartment that he shared with Erwin as soon as you both moved in.

There was the one of him, Furlan, and Isabel as well as the one of him and Erwin on graduation day though Levi had persisted with Erwin to keep the latter. His blonde and blue eyed friend told him to take it as he had plenty more photos of the two he could hang up. That didn’t make Levi feel any better and it makes you wonder what photos Levi might be hiding from you.

Dispersed in between those are ones of you and Hange, and some with your shared circle of friends. The last one frames three photo strips next to each other. The first one is from your first Sakura Festival a few years ago where you sat on Levi's lap – both red faced and unaware of the extent of your affections for each other.

The other two are from the same photo booth, taken from the previous and current year. With each year, the smiles and looks of adoration grew. Both, luckily, were without the presence of your sister and Erwin. Surprisingly, it wasn't your idea to go back. As much as Levi did his best to hide his sentimental side, it was always present.  

When you get to the kitchen counter, you see the platter rearranged and closed up with the matching plastic lid. It looks perfect, even better than when you took a crack at it. You also see two cups of tea on the counter, both with steam rising up and dancing in the kitchen lights before dissipating into the air.

With a grin, you reach over to grab what you can only assume is yours based on the light color of your tea then walk around the island to sit on the bar stool, leaning on the counter with the mug in both hands. After your first sip, you sigh happily. It was one of the new teas Levi had brought back from the trip because he couldn't get enough of it. Earthy with hints of floral notes, topped with a citrusy zing.

When you start to wonder if Levi was okay, your eyes catch movement in the hallway. You watch Levi struggle with his sash, the soft grumbling of his irritation coming from under his breath as he tugs on it. Sometimes you never realize how hard it is to do something with less than the normal amount of fingers until it's forced upon you. Of course, Levi was never one to ask for help even after all these years.

Without a second thought, you stand up and make your way over to him. He doesn't fight as you take the fabric from his fingers and tighten it from the back. Tucked into the sash is a white blouse, loose enough to billow in the evening breeze. Black pants and matching boots fit snug against his lower half. When you're done, you turn him to face you to inspect the whole ensemble. With his hair properly slicked back, he was the perfect Prince Eric.

‘You look rather dashing, you know that?’

“Tch.” He rolls his eyes at you, but there's not a trace of annoyance radiating off of him. As much as he hates it, he loves you and would do anything you asked – within reason.

‘Are you almost ready to go?’

“In a few, I didn't just brew this for nothing.” He makes his way to the counter to grab his mug and instead of sitting, he stands propped up against the counter like you were but with his phone in hand.

“Your sister wants to know if you want apple juice or apple cider.” He mutters, his gray eyes flicking up over to you as you make your way over to the seat you were just at to finish your own cup. “Both, right?”

‘How did you know?’ You laugh, but nod in agreement. You watch as his fingers type away, the clicking of the keys filling back empty space. There's barely any sunlight coming through the closed blinds signifying that nightfall was almost here. You just now noticed Levi had gone ahead and turned off everything for you while you were getting ready.

The gut feeling you felt last week is back. There was a moment when Levi drove through the rolling hills, the golden rays of sunset lighting up his face. A moment of peace that washed over you as his soft gaze flitted over to you in the passenger seat for only a second, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh.

With a nervous sigh, you reach over and pull down his phone with one finger to get his attention. Instantly he looks at you with worry, his mouth downturned.

“Are you okay?”

‘I bet you love me.’

His eyebrows raise, a little surprised at your random question – at something so obvious that he worries even more that something is wrong.

“What’s this about?”

‘Humor me. I bet you love me.’

“You bet right.” He draws out, confusion lacing his tone. 

‘You have to answer a question now. Since I was right.’

“What do you want to know that you don’t already?” His eyes roll at you again, but he sets his phone and mug down and leans over on his elbows to watch you intently.

‘It’s a simple but very important question, I promise.’

“Tch, okay. Hit me.”

Your eyes are suddenly fixated on the fridge to the right of you, the heat of his stare making you shy. For a split second, you almost chicken out. With your heart in your throat, you feel as if you're going to choke as your pulse quickens. Can you do this? Were you ready for this? You were quite tired after today, maybe it's best saved for another day. These thoughts race loudly in your head, but the moment you look back up to meet Levi's gaze, they cease to a quiet murmur.

No, you're ready. And you can do this.

With your fingers laced together, you rest your chin on them and continue to look up at Levi's perplexed expression. Your mouth opens and closes a few times before you're finally able to find your voice.

“Will… you marry… me, Levi?” Your voice is scratchy despite the honey tea you drank after your session. It's rough, and to you it's far from pretty. But the change in expression on Levi's face is almost worth it as he stares at you dazed. It's almost funny to see the physical reaction of his brain comprehending what just happened, like a computer crashing and rebooting.

He's reaching over the counter suddenly and cupping your face in his calloused hands. He holds you there as his wide eyes bounce back and forth between yours. You fight back a laugh, your lips pinched together and quivering.

“Do that again. Say my name again.” The urgency in his voice is palpable.

“L…” You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to find your voice yet again. It's hard, but you try again anyway. “Levi.” It comes out brittle this time, leaving an uncomfortable pain in its wake.

“How did this happen?” His own voice sounds a little higher than before, and you have to bite back another laugh.

‘I've been working on it alongside my sessions with Foust.’ You've met your vocal quota for the day. Levi's hands stay cupped around your cheeks and he pulls you in until his soft lips touch yours again. Your eyes flutter closed as you kiss him back, feeling the weight of your anxiety lift off your shoulders in an instant.

When he pulls away, his stare is conflicted and before you know it, he's released you and whips around the corner down the hallway. Dread inches its way into your chest where the anxiety was before as you realize he never answered your question. Did he need a moment? Did he even hear what you asked? The shock may have been too much. Your teeth bite into the inside of your cheek as you watch the dark hallway nervously.

A few seconds later, he emerges from the shadows with red creeping from his neck up into his face. He's flustered and holding something small in his hand. It takes you a moment to register what it was, and when you do, you jump to your feet to meet him halfway.

He doesn’t hesitate to open it to you though his fingers tremble ever so slightly. Inside are two golden rings, interlocked together. A small oval ruby sits surrounded by metal vines beset by smaller white diamonds in the shape of leaves. It's simple yet elegant. Your eyes snap up to his, no doubt as big as saucers.

Not only is this ring breathtaking, it's also groundbreaking to you. You've seen this ring box around since before you both had moved in together. It's been in the closet collecting dust, so of course you didn't think anything of it. He's had this ring for a long time, sitting right under your nose.

‘How long were you planning to propose?’

“For a while now. I just didn't know when would be a good time.” He carefully takes out the one with the red ruby and holds it up to you. The kitchen lights glimmer off the smooth surface reflecting red against his fingers. “I can't believe you beat me to it, though.” So he did hear you.

‘I wasn't planning to do it tonight, but I just had a feeling.’

“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?” He leans over to place the ring box onto the side table behind him, then turns to you. Then he does something you've only ever seen in movies – Levi gets down on one knee and the ring out to you.

“Um. I'm not good with things like this. But I just want you to know that I love you. And I've never been more prepared to spend my life with someone, if you'll have me. Will you marry me?” His eyes look away for a second before focusing back on you. Even though you had pretty much said yes when you asked first, he still seemed so nervous.  

To see Levi in such a mess like this in front of you makes that laugh you held back burst forth, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Speechless again, you reach your hand out to him and just like that, he slides the ring on your finger with ease.

“I- uh, borrowed one of your rings to get it resized.” He mutters as you stare at it curiously. “So, that's a yes right?” Even though you took the ring, you can still hear the anxiety in his voice.

‘Of course, dummy.’ You laugh again before pulling him up on his feet by his collar and into you for another kiss, this time deeper and full of the love that you have for this man. When you pull away, you can't help but stare at the metal hugging your ring finger.

“It was my mom’s, she insisted on me having it. I think she knew.” He grabs your hand and pulls you into him, one hand on your waist and the other cupping your face. “I suppose we should call her tomorrow, yeah?”

You nod sharply, your smile hurting your cheeks, but you don't care. All you feel right now is the same peace you felt last week and excitement for the future ahead. You didn't want anyone else. 

“Say it again?”

“Levi.” He leans in again, hand still on your face as he presses his lips against your once more. There have been many shared kisses since you both became official but this one felt different. You didn't have the words for it, but it was miles away from being bad.

Levi's phone vibrating loudly on the counter disturbs the comfortable silence and you can only sigh. You almost forgot that you had somewhere to be and are reminded by the caller ID flashing your sister's name. In Levi fashion, he ignores it but he does pull away to look at you with a grimace.

“So who’s telling them?” 

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 5

[suzuran777]

Review: Tokyo Satsujinki (Holicworks)

I finally finished the other new BLVN I bought recently, Tokyo Satsujinki! This game was released last month, by Holicworks who are known for previous games like Taisho Mebiusline, Tokyo Onmyouji and Tokyo 24 ku (yes they're aware of all of their similar sounding "Tokyo" titles lol). I guess this game might be a bit difficult to review because it’s extremely story-heavy and I would still like to keep this review spoiler-free, but I’ll try my best! Right now it's also only available in Japanese, but as Tokyo Onmyouji was translated, maybe this one will be picked up too one day.

The main character, Kurotori Yuzuru, is a civil servant who works for the Tokyo Metropolitan Government. He belongs to a countermeasure group who fights against a negative force, often referred to as "Aramatsuri". In this world, both Aramatsuri and Amaterasu are powers that reside within humans. Amaterasu brings positivity and happiness, while Aramatsuri is deemed evil and leads to misfortune.

Only those with special powers are able to see Aramatsuri, therefore these are also the only people who are part of the Aramatsuri Countermeasure Division, which Kurotori and some of the other main characters belong to. A common way of confirming that one possesses special abilities, is by asking them about the appearance of Yoyogi Park Clock Tower. Only those with special powers are able to see the big pink flower on top of it, which suddenly appeared one day and doesn't look like it's from this world. Especially the Kabukicho area of Shinjuku is heavily affected by the negative impact of Aramatsuri, so this is a location where a large part of the story in this game takes place.

The recommended route order is Tendo > Tsubaki > Isshiki > Inami, but don’t be surprised when you suddenly have to enter Inami’s route to make progress in Isshiki’s route. This games makes use of a flowchart which shows you where the endings are, and which ones you still need to get, but it doesn’t really tell you what choices to make. Especially near the end it’s a lot of trial and error, but it’s not too difficult and I kinda had fun figuring it out myself! On the other hand, I also saw some comments that it’s a bit annoying when you want to finish a route quickly, which I understand... so be prepared that the last two routes are long. I think you can also start with Tsubaki's route because plot-wise it won't change a lot, but I'm pretty sure the other two routes are locked.

A big part of the story in this game focuses on Kurotori, the protagonist. Kurotori’s powers are a bit special compared to the other characters because not only is he able to manipulate Aramatsuri and change it into any shape he wants (he often uses it to create a sword), he can also use the power of goddess Ame-no-Uzume. She's the goddess of dawn, meditation and the arts, and in Shinto religion, her story intertwines deeply with that of Amaterasu Omikami, the sun goddess who also plays an important role in this story. It is also not a coincidence that the positive powers in this game are called "Amaterasu" because some of the characters can use the powers of Amaterasu Omikami.

The first route I played is Tendo's route, Kurotori's coworker who also works for the Aramatsuri Countermeasure Division. He is one of the people who can use the power of Amaterasu, and his family specializes in using Japanese swords, so that’s his preferred weapon of choice. The Aramatsuri Countermeasure Division is a secret even many governmental organizations and the police don’t know about, therefore they can't carry weapons or fight Aramatsuri in locations where other people can see them. Their manager, a woman called Mikiko, is also an important character in this game (she's the one sitting in the chair in the image below!). Tendo's route mostly focuses on his brother's disappearance, who also used to be part of the same division. Before he went missing, his brother attacked and killed his coworkers during a mission, and now other employees seem rather suspicious of Tendo too, wondering if he will turn against them too. Tendo however, also doesn't know why any of this happened.

The next route I played is Tsubaki’s route, who's an aspiring actor who tries his best to find new jobs. Even though he tries his best to live a normal life, his family has a long history of unfortunate incidents, and many family members either died or went missing. If that wasn't bad enough, Tsubaki also gets regular visits from the god Sarutahiko Ookami, who wants to use Tsubaki to sever Kurotori’s ties with Ame-no-Uzume, Sarutahiko’s wife. Tsubaki doesn’t really want to do this, but there's not much he can do against the will of a god. In the common route of the game, Tsubaki tries to attack Kurotori while wearing Sarutahiko's mask, concealing his identity, but Kurotori kind of suspects that it was him. As he learns more about Tsubaki, part of him wants to deny this though, because he believes Tsubaki might also be a victim of all of this. I enjoyed the casual interactions between the characters in this route too because it shows that Kurotori doesn't really use smartphones or computers (other than for work-related reasons), so Tsubaki has to teach him how to use apps like Line...!

After this I started playing Isshiki’s route, a mysterious bartender who’s also an Onmyouji and can use the power of Onmyoudo. This technique allows him to cast spells using the powers of astronomy, and methods range from Yin/Yang, the Five Elements, shikigami (cursed spirits) an a whole bunch of other things (if you played Tokyo Onmyouji you probably know too!). He can also use the power of an Inugami who he calls “Kota”, the curse of a dog spirit. If you're familiar with Inugami.... you immediately know this route will be dark, because Inugami are beings that can only be created by humans, involving a brutal ritual, eventually killing the dog. As you can see in the opening movie it's not Isshiki's fault, but man this backstory made me sad.

I think this is the route I liked the most though because in most of the other routes Isshiki is kind of like the villain and his visions don’t align with the other main characters, so I really wanted to see his side of the story. After finishing his route it was almost hard to continue with Inami's route because both of them are always fighting and I kind of agreed with Isshiki's reasoning more, but I did want to see the final endings. A name that gets mentioned a lot in this route is Amatsu-Mikaboshi, a star god who would not submit to the will of the other Amatsukami (the kami of Heaven), and I think it's good to remember this name when you play the next route too.

So the final route focuses on Inami, who is another coworker of Kurotori. He can also use the power of Amaterasu, and is originally from Okinawa. Even though he's their coworker, the others don't actually know a lot about him. He's quite skilled and spent a lot of time learning about many different magic techniques. In his route, you finally learn a lot more about who Inami is, but there's also a lot of backstory related to Kurotori, which doesn't show up in other routes. Even though I do prefer Isshiki's route, it’s not like this route makes the other routes feel irrelevant or less important, which sometimes tends to happen when games have a "true" route. I'm not sure if it's the design or his behavior, but Inami did remind me a little bit of Misaki from Taisho Mebiusline lol! Though that could make sense because it's the same writer and company of course. This route has two really good ending songs by the way, which I keep listening to...!

Final impressions I think those who enjoyed other Holicworks games like Tokyo Onmyouji and Taisho Mebiusline will definitely enjoy this game too! I missed playing their games, so I was definitely happy to play this one. I think it might be a bit difficult to get into for those who don't want to read a super long story with only a few 18+ and romance scenes. It definitely took me about 50 hours to play all of the different endings. This includes trying to figure out what to do next though (I think some people already started making a guide, if you want to avoid that though, so check Twitter/X first). If something in the early routes feels left unexplained, there's a big chance it will show up in another ending. Sometimes I was surprised how even little details I never thought much about were somehow story-relevant.

Like most of their previous games, a large part of this story also references various terms related to Shintoism, and names of many of the gods/kami are directly mentioned in the story and play a huge role in it, so I think it would be a good idea to keep track of those to understand some of the references. However if you don't get all of the references, I think it's still not impossible to understand the story and the endings, I just think it's fun to look everything up! Talking about endings… This game has a lot of them, so be prepared to keep loading your save files.

As usual the music in this game is really good, I especially liked the songs by Lily & Morrigan. I liked the art too, especially the action scenes were cool and some of the CGs are animated. I'm a big fan of Kurotori's design too, I love the lower lashes, black nails and high heels!! If I had to complain about something, I guess the 18+ scenes sometimes felt a bit awkward, but that could just be a me-problem because I am very picky LOL (and each route only has like 2 of them).

I really want to see a continuation of some of these routes tbh! I think there's definitely potential for a fandisc. I got Isshiki's pre-order bonuses, which includes a short drama CD that takes place after his main ending, so I'm going to assume all the other characters also have this. I guess I'll end this with a fun fact, Isshiki’s bar in the game (Arca) actually exists in real life too, and I’ve already seen a lot of fans go there to enjoy the drinks. So if you're ever in Shinjuku, you might be able to visit! It's near Sanchome station.

[licorice-and-rum]

Babel - Chapter One Analysis (Part 1)

Hey, everyone!

As I promised (and procrastinated to do) here is my (hopefully comprehensively) analysis of the first Chapter of Babel. I had to divide the analysis though, because it was too long, so that’s part one of three.

Before I begin, though, I want to disclosure that I don’t know much about Asian History as a whole (which I’m fully aware is a lack and I’m trying to resolve it) so most of my analysis will fall into colonization discourse and the importance of language for that, okay?

It's also important for me to disclosure that I am an International Relations graduate and therefore, won’t be completely able to make any in-depth explanation of linguistics and such, but I will try to relay what was taught to me about it by my professors and my mom (she’s a Portuguese teacher lol).

Anyway, the first thing I marked as I began the chapter was the initial quote: “Que siempre la lengua fue companera del imperio; y de tal manera lo siguió, que juntamente comenzaron, crecieron y florecieron, y después junta fue la caída de entrambos”.

The thing about this quote is how amazingly it resumes the importance of language in colonization but for that, we have to go a bit back and understand why: before the invention of the press by Gutenberg, the European languages especially were a bit of a mess, in the sense that there were so many regionalisms and dialects that were regionally similar but not exactly enough so that people thought of themselves as a whole.

I’ll explain better: countries as we know them today only began to be a thing by the mid-1600s after the Peace of Westphalia, which was a collective of treaties that marked the end of the Thirty Year’s War. Before that, Europe was divided into smaller ‘kingdoms’ that might have or not pledged allegiance to a king of a whole territory but the fact was that countries and their borders were unstable and quite prone to be violently disputed. The TV Series ‘The Borgias’ is a great example of that, by the way.

But this process of recognizing other countries' sovereignty and their borders was only viable because language became formalized after the press: as I said before, the press —and the market it created— brought the need to make languages formalized and, by doing that, making common rules to the regional dialect. The Iberic Peninsula is a great example of that since we can see the echoes of this in the tensions between Spanish and Castellano until today.

As a Portuguese speaker, the major references I have are from Portugal but I’ll try to explain it all in a way everyone can understand here: the press was invented in the earlies 15th century, creating the first fast-paced (for the period) market to ever exist. Before that, Portuguese, as did many other languages in Europe, had various dialects, from which we have a bit of record:

This song is a great example of how different Portuguese could sound depending on where you are in the geographical region that makes up Portugal today. If you ask a lusophone (someone who speaks Portuguese), for example, they will probably be able to understand most of what has been said in this song but the sounds are all over the place —some things sound like Brazilian Portuguese, some sound like Portuguese from Portugal, some I can’t even identify— and the context of what’s been said is missing.

I myself only understand because I have been given context by my teacher but anyway, what I mean to say is that, by the 16th century, the writings of Luís de Camoes formalized the language —his book ‘Os Lusíadas’ was used as the base for the first rules of the formal Portugues language. English has become a formalized language, with its own set of rules and such by the 15th century as well.

That’s important to notice because it was the language the thing that begun to unite the several European regions into countries: because they spoke the same language, they were part of the same people. The formalization of the language is what kickstarted the notion of a national identity. Let’s remember: before that, countries and their borders were unstable, and armies were under the command of a person —a feudal lord or a powerful family (like the Medicis in Milan, for example)— not a State or a government like we think of them today.

But when language began to unite people of various regions (who spoke diverse dialects of the same language) into identifying as one, it gave leeway for national territories to be held by an authority figure with a bit more stability. Socially, the creation of national identities implied also the existence of a foreigner, which is seen as a threat.

I explain: identities can only be formed through comparison. So, I am because others aren’t. So, if I am, for example, a man, it’s because there are women. And more so than that, if as a man, I’m rational and strong, then it’s because women are the opposite, and vice-versa. An observation: that doesn’t mean the assessment is true, it’s just to exemplify the process of identity building.

But regardless, as Simone de Beauvoir said, to define the Other is to define a Manichaeism. So, quite literally, the object to which we compare ourselves to define our identity is always put as a threat. The foreigner is different than how we identify and, therefore, a threat to who we are and our existence. In the case of Europe, the literary critic Edward Said determines that the oldest image of the Other for Europe are the Middle Easterner peoples (as well as the Middle East is one of Europe’s oldest colonies).

So, what begins with the formalization of the language is a process of building identity that puts the non-European peoples in a place of Otherness and, inevitably, as a threat to the European (white) man. The condition of Other of the non-European, however false, puts those peoples in a place of inferiority because, if the European determines themselves to be enlightened, rational, and civilized, then it means that the non-European is not.

Those perceptions of self are what permeates the line of thought of the next period in Europe, the Illuminism, in which we learn that the man turns to himself (and the gendering is intentional here) and his own rationality. More than that, though, this period is a result of the prior events I just discussed here. The formation of national identities and the opposition of them by non-European people are what generated the period we’re currently discussing and even more, were exacerbated by it:

It was during the Illuminism that colonization narratives began to gain traction, which in turn, resulted in the deep Historical revisionism we see in the 19th century: the most pressing example of that being the erasure of African and Arabic influences onto the Greek and Roman cultures when translating texts and myths from the time, done especially by English historians.

From that, Europe created the concept of race as we know it today and linked it to the threat of the Other: whiteness and non-whiteness had a clear geographical profile that worked in order to deepen the lines between Europe and the rest of the world, which they colonized in order to “illuminate” the savages and “civilize” their society.

Oh, and let’s not forget that this was all happening because of capitalism: our mode of production shapes the society we live in and capitalism cannot exist without a hierarchy that makes —in our case— non-white people poorer and more explored. It needs the workforce to have as little as possible so it can provide the lifestyle of the owners of the modes of production.

So yeah, quite literally, language is what started the creation of the Empire.

Now, onto the story (I just realized I spent three pages just in the initial quote lol): the chapter begins with Robin dying and Lovell saving him from his disease. I highlighted quite a bit of this interaction but what stood out to me is that, quite from the beginning, accepting abuse from the colonizer was the only way for Robin to stay alive. We all know that Robin spends most of his time during the book pending between safety and doing what is right but I like how Kuang establishes right in the beginning that Robin was conditioned to connect his survival to subservience to his colonizers, no matter the underlying or naked abuse he suffered —at least he was alive.

(Spoiler Alert)

It is, I think, one of the reasons why he dies at the end, why he thinks he has to stay and die, besides everything else: to Robin, the instinct to choose life is equal to the instinct of submit to his colonizers. It’s also why I think Kuang choose to kill him at the end: narratively speaking, Robin’s only choice, as the character he was built like, was between living and submitting or dying and resisting.

(Spoiler Free Zone)

This is especially highlighted by Lovell’s behavior: he barely looks at Robin’s mother as he enters their room and refers to her as a body when he denies Robin’s silent reaching for her. This doesn’t just show the violence of colonization and its way of thinking, it also illustrates how the patriarchy and racism were exacerbated (for the former) and created (for the latter) by capitalism.

Robin’s mother is nothing by a body to Lovell. He fathered Robin, he provided for them up until then, he knew her family and was close enough to know about their ‘dirty laundry’ —Robin’s uncle’s vice and their economical downfall— which means quite something about the relationship between Lovell and Robin’s mom. And yet, she was nothing but a body.

More than that, Lovell cures Robin —only Robin, as it’s stated many times— and, as they leave the only home he’s ever known, Lovell says he was lucky to having survived it. If that’s not some serious conditioning of a person (a child at that) in vulnerability, I don’t know what it is.

I also find it very interesting that Kuang extended this part of the story to describe Robin’s fragility during the time he took to recover from cholera because it’s exactly his vulnerability and his conscience of it that makes him so prone to accept the abuse of others if this means he gets to keep on living. This is perfectly illustrated by Robin’s first real conversation with Lovell when he insists that Robin speaks English despite it not being his first language and the fact that he’d been sick and tired for days now.

When Robins speaks of his mother, Lovell just leaves, and it’s another teaching for Robin: speak of things he shouldn’t and you’re alone to deal with it. Thinking about it, relations between colonizers and their colonies are quite like an abusive relationship when the threat of being without them is somehow equated to a vulnerability that will inevitably result in something bad.

[chaotic-on-main]

Epilogue

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, eventual smut

☾ Author's note ➼ Heeeeyy I'm back. If you haven't had an eye on my masterlist for Unspoken Words, you might have missed that I've been working on an epilogue. SURPRISE. If you have, then here it is lol. I am OFFICIALLY done with UW and I'm so sad about it. ALSO for some reason my tumblr app hates me and any time I italicize a line, it italicizes the entire paragraph and I have no idea why. As always, the sign language lines are marked with ' and speaking lines marked with ".

Thank you to anyone who has taken time out of their lives to read my "little" story. I enjoyed writing about this little world and I could not be happier to know that most of you liked reading it. I appreciate you more than you know. Can you believe this is around 100k words? Crazy. Anyways, I'm gonna go write some more, I'll see ya around! <3

☾ Word Count ➼ ~4k

Reddish-orange leaves dance in a unique ballet number past the window you were currently staring out of. You can't keep your fingers from picking at the sleeves of your wool sweater as you wait for your speech therapist to come and get you from the semi-quiet lobby. The only noises you hear comes from the reception desk and the TV mounted opposite of the couch you were waiting on. The weather channel calls for a beautiful weekend with warmer than usual temperatures – which is good considering Halloween is tomorrow.

A side door leading to the back offices opens up, and your name is called from a stout brunette woman with large rimmed glasses and a kind smile. She holds it open as she beckons you forward, and you don't hesitate to smile back as you pick up your bag and make your way through the door and down the familiar hall on her heels.

You’ve been seeing Dr. Boreal for about almost two years now. You started speech therapy shortly after starting trauma therapy – something they had recommended. You weren't quick to decline the suggestion, but you'd be lying if you said you had ever thought about taking back your speech. Some time in your youth, you just assumed it was gone forever. That it was something that couldn't be fixed.

According to Dr. Foust, your trauma therapist, the speech block was mental. Therefore, it was something that could be explored and possibly broken through.

When he had said that, you had newfound hope and suddenly a silent goal to work towards.

It's like clockwork the way you stepped into Dr. Boreal's navy blue office, stepping over to the right and onto the plush cream colored couch meant just for patients. On the walls of her office sits multiple picture frames and motivational posters, all with smiles and bright colors. Her dark curtains sit parted, letting in the afternoon autumn sun that hits the wall next to you. You watch as she grabs the folder with your name on it before sitting in her large red chair and smiling over to you.

“So, how have you been? How was your trip with Levi?”

‘I’m doing well. And It was lovely! You were right, too. The road to Trost is gorgeous this time of year and the trees! So pretty.’ You think back at the little vacation Levi took you on just a week ago. He had taken the scenic route to the little town that you and he had rented a cabin in.

The leaves were at the end of their life and littered the ground wherever you went, crunching underneath your boots. Between the intimate moments and crisp atmosphere, it really was a magical time. Levi practically had to drag you back home.

On the way out, Levi found this adorable tea shop. It's not easy finding a place that made tea as well as he did, and of course he didn't say anything, but you could tell how much he enjoyed it. You won't soon forget the content on his normally stoic face. That reminds you of the little package snuggled in your purse so you reach down into it to pull out a small, rectangular tin.

‘I got this for you.’ You beam at her as you hand it over gently.

“Cranberry autumn tea?” She inspects the wording on the metal, hazel eyes glittering gold in the sunlight that reflects off the container. Her eyes shift to you as a grateful smile lights up her weathered face. “Oh you sweet thing, thank you so much. But you shouldn't have.”

‘As thanks for dealing with me.’ You laugh softly, leaning back into the plush couch.

“You know it's no problem. Even if I wasn't paid, I'd still enjoy your company.” She waves dismissively after setting her gift down on the table in front of her. “So, let's see where we left off last time.”

You pick at the edges of your sleeves once again as you watch her find the right place in her notes. Dr. Boreal is one of the kindest people you've had the pleasure of being around. Though she was being paid to help you, she always did so much more. She was patient with you when you struggled to get past certain goals, and when your voice hurt after a grueling session she would bring you herbal tea with honey to smooth the pain. Levi joked that you liked her tea more than his to which you always rolled your eyes at.

“Well you have made outstanding progress. Of course, there is still plenty we still need to work on. But you're doing well.” She looks down at her papers as she talks, the scratch of her pen fills the silence after she finishes. She looks back up to you. “Have you shown anyone your progress yet?”

Those around you are aware of your long journey through therapy. They even celebrated with you after one year - Hange's idea of course. Your sister couldn't hold it in when you had told them of the progress you've made and the goals you were looking forward to completing in the oncoming sessions.  

What they didn't know was that you were even in speech therapy, and how far in your speech recovery you were. Keeping it secret from Levi was getting harder with every passing week.

‘No, but I plan to soon, I promise.’ You pinch your lips together in a grimace. This has been a threat for the last 6 months but truthfully, you've been too scared to tell anyone. No, not scared. Nervous.

“Well, you know my stance on that. I’m sure they're going to be ecstatic, when you're ready to do so.” Dr. Boreal sets out a recorder to let you hear your voice the way she does, a tool you both found the most helpful when it came to fixing the areas that needed the most work. “Enough of that though, are you ready to start?”

With a confident smile, you open your mouth to speak.

.

A few hours later, you find yourself home and in the kitchen with your mind in another dimension. You’re currently plating up a vegetable tray on a tupperware platter as autumnal lofi weaves through the room from the speakers behind you. You’re so focused on arranging your sliced up miscellaneous veggies that you don't hear the metal key in the front door and the light footsteps of your boyfriend coming home for the evening.

“Hey.” Levi mutters from behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder to look at what you're doing – not without difficulty, of course. You jump at his sudden proximity causing you to drop the chosen dipping sauces in the middle of the platter, disturbing the once perfect arrangement.

There's a soft sigh from you, but you feel the giddiness at the expected company fluttering in your stomach. Even after a few years, he still gives you that effect. You twist in his arms to face him, and his gray eyes are downturned in concern.  

“Are you okay? Was therapy too much today?” He lessens his grip on you so you can pull your hands up to sign.

Levi Ackerman’s raven hair is slicked back from him running his fingers through it, and the way that it stayed put and the sheen on the strands, you can tell it must be raining. You've been so fixated on making sure it looked good that you hadn't even noticed. His gaze stares into yours as he searches for what might be bothering you, so you give him a reassuring smile.

‘No, it was actually really good. She said I've made a lot of progress.’

“That's good. Did you come home late, or have you been working on this tray the whole time?” He glances over your shoulder at the vegetables now thrown about on the counter.

‘Yes and no. I decided to run by the farmers market for more options. But they didn't have anything we didn't already have.’ You explain, shrugging your shoulders.

The afternoon sun was so nice on your face that you would have been a fool to not take advantage of it - and it's a good thing you did. Your eyes slide to the water droplets that drip down on the outside of the living room windows.

“Hm. Well we need to leave for Hange's party soon and you're not dressed. Let me finish this for you and you go get ready.” He leans in to kiss your forehead before unraveling his arms and pushing you in the direction of the bedroom. You only roll your eyes but make your way to the back as he asked.

Hange's Halloween Bash is something they have been planning for about a year. The moment the decorations went on sale last winter, she snatched up what she could. She said something about starting a new tradition for her friends turned family. Levi wasn't as excited about the prospect of such a social gathering but you were, and that was enough to get him to go.

Not only were you able to get him to go, you were also able to talk him into dressing up with you.  

In front of the mirror, you finish tying up a black corset that wraps around your waist. It helps form-fit the blue long sleeve dress that drops down to your bare ankles with your pair of flats completing the look. You were almost ready – all that was left was the big blue bow that you pinned to the back of your head as best you could. You suppose for a makeshift Ariel, this would do just fine. You almost chuckle at the irony of the characters you suggested to Levi a month ago.

A girl who can't talk and a prince that loved her despite it.

You do a small twirl in the mirror to make sure everything looks right. You almost jump out of your skin at the sudden sight of the person standing in the doorway. Levi leans against the door frame, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smirk. His hands are in the pockets of his work clothes as he watches you intently, taking in the sight of you. With a hand over your heart, you give him a small frown.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” He doesn't sound sorry at all.

‘You are too quiet for your own good. One day you're going to scare me so bad that I'm going to punch you.’ You shake your head but smile anyways. You make your way to the closet to pull out Levi's costume for the night, making sure to grab the red waist sash that threatens to fall to the floor.

“You keep saying that.” He takes the hanger from you but not before leaning in to give you a chaste kiss. With a small laugh, you head out of the bedroom and down the hall back to the kitchen.

On your way there, you take a moment to glance at the framed photographs on the walls. Levi made sure to hang up the pictures he took from his apartment that he shared with Erwin as soon as you both moved in.

There was the one of him, Furlan, and Isabel as well as the one of him and Erwin on graduation day though Levi had persisted with Erwin to keep the latter. His blonde and blue eyed friend told him to take it as he had plenty more photos of the two he could hang up. That didn’t make Levi feel any better and it makes you wonder what photos Levi might be hiding from you.

Dispersed in between those are ones of you and Hange, and some with your shared circle of friends. The last one frames three photo strips next to each other. The first one is from your first Sakura Festival a few years ago where you sat on Levi's lap – both red faced and unaware of the extent of your affections for each other.

The other two are from the same photo booth, taken from the previous and current year. With each year, the smiles and looks of adoration grew. Both, luckily, were without the presence of your sister and Erwin. Surprisingly, it wasn't your idea to go back. As much as Levi did his best to hide his sentimental side, it was always present.  

When you get to the kitchen counter, you see the platter rearranged and closed up with the matching plastic lid. It looks perfect, even better than when you took a crack at it. You also see two cups of tea on the counter, both with steam rising up and dancing in the kitchen lights before dissipating into the air.

With a grin, you reach over to grab what you can only assume is yours based on the light color of your tea then walk around the island to sit on the bar stool, leaning on the counter with the mug in both hands. After your first sip, you sigh happily. It was one of the new teas Levi had brought back from the trip because he couldn't get enough of it. Earthy with hints of floral notes, topped with a citrusy zing.

When you start to wonder if Levi was okay, your eyes catch movement in the hallway. You watch Levi struggle with his sash, the soft grumbling of his irritation coming from under his breath as he tugs on it. Sometimes you never realize how hard it is to do something with less than the normal amount of fingers until it's forced upon you. Of course, Levi was never one to ask for help even after all these years.

Without a second thought, you stand up and make your way over to him. He doesn't fight as you take the fabric from his fingers and tighten it from the back. Tucked into the sash is a white blouse, loose enough to billow in the evening breeze. Black pants and matching boots fit snug against his lower half. When you're done, you turn him to face you to inspect the whole ensemble. With his hair properly slicked back, he was the perfect Prince Eric.

‘You look rather dashing, you know that?’

“Tch.” He rolls his eyes at you, but there's not a trace of annoyance radiating off of him. As much as he hates it, he loves you and would do anything you asked – within reason.

‘Are you almost ready to go?’

“In a few, I didn't just brew this for nothing.” He makes his way to the counter to grab his mug and instead of sitting, he stands propped up against the counter like you were but with his phone in hand.

“Your sister wants to know if you want apple juice or apple cider.” He mutters, his gray eyes flicking up over to you as you make your way over to the seat you were just at to finish your own cup. “Both, right?”

‘How did you know?’ You laugh, but nod in agreement. You watch as his fingers type away, the clicking of the keys filling back empty space. There's barely any sunlight coming through the closed blinds signifying that nightfall was almost here. You just now noticed Levi had gone ahead and turned off everything for you while you were getting ready.

The gut feeling you felt last week is back. There was a moment when Levi drove through the rolling hills, the golden rays of sunset lighting up his face. A moment of peace that washed over you as his soft gaze flitted over to you in the passenger seat for only a second, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh.

With a nervous sigh, you reach over and pull down his phone with one finger to get his attention. Instantly he looks at you with worry, his mouth downturned.

“Are you okay?”

‘I bet you love me.’

His eyebrows raise, a little surprised at your random question – at something so obvious that he worries even more that something is wrong.

“What’s this about?”

‘Humor me. I bet you love me.’

“You bet right.” He draws out, confusion lacing his tone. 

‘You have to answer a question now. Since I was right.’

“What do you want to know that you don’t already?” His eyes roll at you again, but he sets his phone and mug down and leans over on his elbows to watch you intently.

‘It’s a simple but very important question, I promise.’

“Tch, okay. Hit me.”

Your eyes are suddenly fixated on the fridge to the right of you, the heat of his stare making you shy. For a split second, you almost chicken out. With your heart in your throat, you feel as if you're going to choke as your pulse quickens. Can you do this? Were you ready for this? You were quite tired after today, maybe it's best saved for another day. These thoughts race loudly in your head, but the moment you look back up to meet Levi's gaze, they cease to a quiet murmur.

No, you're ready. And you can do this.

With your fingers laced together, you rest your chin on them and continue to look up at Levi's perplexed expression. Your mouth opens and closes a few times before you're finally able to find your voice.

“Will… you marry… me, Levi?” Your voice is scratchy despite the honey tea you drank after your session. It's rough, and to you it's far from pretty. But the change in expression on Levi's face is almost worth it as he stares at you dazed. It's almost funny to see the physical reaction of his brain comprehending what just happened, like a computer crashing and rebooting.

He's reaching over the counter suddenly and cupping your face in his calloused hands. He holds you there as his wide eyes bounce back and forth between yours. You fight back a laugh, your lips pinched together and quivering.

“Do that again. Say my name again.” The urgency in his voice is palpable.

“L…” You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to find your voice yet again. It's hard, but you try again anyway. “Levi.” It comes out brittle this time, leaving an uncomfortable pain in its wake.

“How did this happen?” His own voice sounds a little higher than before, and you have to bite back another laugh.

‘I've been working on it alongside my sessions with Foust.’ You've met your vocal quota for the day. Levi's hands stay cupped around your cheeks and he pulls you in until his soft lips touch yours again. Your eyes flutter closed as you kiss him back, feeling the weight of your anxiety lift off your shoulders in an instant.

When he pulls away, his stare is conflicted and before you know it, he's released you and whips around the corner down the hallway. Dread inches its way into your chest where the anxiety was before as you realize he never answered your question. Did he need a moment? Did he even hear what you asked? The shock may have been too much. Your teeth bite into the inside of your cheek as you watch the dark hallway nervously.

A few seconds later, he emerges from the shadows with red creeping from his neck up into his face. He's flustered and holding something small in his hand. It takes you a moment to register what it was, and when you do, you jump to your feet to meet him halfway.

He doesn’t hesitate to open it to you though his fingers tremble ever so slightly. Inside are two golden rings, interlocked together. A small oval ruby sits surrounded by metal vines beset by smaller white diamonds in the shape of leaves. It's simple yet elegant. Your eyes snap up to his, no doubt as big as saucers.

Not only is this ring breathtaking, it's also groundbreaking to you. You've seen this ring box around since before you both had moved in together. It's been in the closet collecting dust, so of course you didn't think anything of it. He's had this ring for a long time, sitting right under your nose.

‘How long were you planning to propose?’

“For a while now. I just didn't know when would be a good time.” He carefully takes out the one with the red ruby and holds it up to you. The kitchen lights glimmer off the smooth surface reflecting red against his fingers. “I can't believe you beat me to it, though.” So he did hear you.

‘I wasn't planning to do it tonight, but I just had a feeling.’

“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?” He leans over to place the ring box onto the side table behind him, then turns to you. Then he does something you've only ever seen in movies – Levi gets down on one knee and the ring out to you.

“Um. I'm not good with things like this. But I just want you to know that I love you. And I've never been more prepared to spend my life with someone, if you'll have me. Will you marry me?” His eyes look away for a second before focusing back on you. Even though you had pretty much said yes when you asked first, he still seemed so nervous.  

To see Levi in such a mess like this in front of you makes that laugh you held back burst forth, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Speechless again, you reach your hand out to him and just like that, he slides the ring on your finger with ease.

“I- uh, borrowed one of your rings to get it resized.” He mutters as you stare at it curiously. “So, that's a yes right?” Even though you took the ring, you can still hear the anxiety in his voice.

‘Of course, dummy.’ You laugh again before pulling him up on his feet by his collar and into you for another kiss, this time deeper and full of the love that you have for this man. When you pull away, you can't help but stare at the metal hugging your ring finger.

“It was my mom’s, she insisted on me having it. I think she knew.” He grabs your hand and pulls you into him, one hand on your waist and the other cupping your face. “I suppose we should call her tomorrow, yeah?”

You nod sharply, your smile hurting your cheeks, but you don't care. All you feel right now is the same peace you felt last week and excitement for the future ahead. You didn't want anyone else. 

“Say it again?”

“Levi.” He leans in again, hand still on your face as he presses his lips against your once more. There have been many shared kisses since you both became official but this one felt different. You didn't have the words for it, but it was miles away from being bad.

Levi's phone vibrating loudly on the counter disturbs the comfortable silence and you can only sigh. You almost forgot that you had somewhere to be and are reminded by the caller ID flashing your sister's name. In Levi fashion, he ignores it but he does pull away to look at you with a grimace.

“So who’s telling them?” 

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☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 5

[f1-ferraero]

hii! :)

i wanted to ask, on F1 Explains podcast, one of the engineers said this when asked about what teams do when they have drivers with different driving styles: "When we talk about driving style, it usually comes down to a driver's ability to control an unstable car. Typically, the more unstable a car is, the faster it is."

could you elaborate more on this? is this referring to an oversteery car, bc when watching driver onboards who got pole sometimes i will read comments about how this driver lost the rear a couple times and made mistakes, yet still got pole over others who were more cautious, if you will. i mean, how does that work? like, making mistakes makes you go.. faster? i feel like i am missing something here.

and lastly, who do you think are the top 3 or 5 drivers on the grid who can cope best or even thrive off more agile cars?

Hi!

It's essentially true that driving style comes down to the ability to handle an unstable car. In reality it's more complicated (it always is lol), as a driver's style is made up of many small areas and parts that all are reliant on each other and all play a part in how a driver handles the car (I am working on a post about this, but I have been very busy so I had to postpone it).

But like the engineer said, the ability to handle an unstable car is basically what it all comes down to. This ability can usually be seen in a driver's balance preference. An ideal car is a perfectly balanced one, but this is almost impossible to achieve, especially since the balance of the car will shift depending on conditions and circumstances. You're going to end up with a car that's either oversteery or understeery (in simple terms: understeer is when the car doesn't turn as much as it should and oversteer is when it turns too much, which results in a loose and snappy rear). This balance can be achieved through car design, weights and aerodynamic setup changes.

Drivers usually have a preference for which one of these they like to drive around to find the balance. Like I said, the goal is a balanced car.

Which one they like most is a bit like the chicken and the egg, because they require different approaches—does a driver like an oversteery car because they drive in a certain manner, or does a driver drive in a certain manner because they like an oversteery car? True skill is being able to adjust to whatever you're driving, but you usually see drivers being better with one of them. It's also worth mentioning that this is a spectrum. (Cue artistic rendition)

Technically, an oversteery car is faster. Or rather, it has the potential to be faster. It's not too complicated: an oversteery can turn faster and sharper and therefore it can brake later and go on throttle earlier. But it's also harder to control because the instability makes it easier to lose the car. If you're busy making corrections the benefits of oversteer are lost.

Some drivers are very good at controlling unstable cars and that makes them very fast. Other drivers become more cautious which slows them down. When trying to go as fast as possible you would ideally not be losing the rear, but when pushing to the absolute limit this will end up happening. The trick is to remain in control. If they manage this I wouldn't necessarily call it a mistake, just a side effect. You go as fast as you possibly can, but you also risk crashing out if you're not in control. It takes a lot of skill, confidence and commitment to drive to the limit of the car in this way. It's also very fast.

Verstappen and Leclerc absolutely shine in cars with extreme oversteer, something that unfortunately tends to affect their teammates. Both Perez and Sainz have a preference for understeer and struggle more with confidence in a car with oversteer. Albon is also very good with oversteer.

On a list of who would be able to cope with an unstable car best I would definitely add Hamilton and Alonso, as they're experienced and skilled enough to drive basically anything, but both of them do have a preference towards understeer so they probably wouldn't thrive.

I should also mention that not liking oversteer does not make a driver slow or unable to handle instability. Both Alonso and Hamilton are legends of the sport while preferring understeer, so it's not a guarantee that you're the fastest. But the fact remains that the more unstable a car is, the faster it can be. And the better a driver is at handling this, the faster they can be.

[queer-ragnelle]

Hello, I was wondering if you could please clear up some confusion I had about Hector's love life? Both Nightbringer and Wikipedia claim his first love was Perse of the Narrow March and then he loved the niece of the dwarf Groadain and eventually went back to Perse. But Vulgate Lancelot has the niece be his love before he's at Narrow March and also he never seems to even be in love with Perse when he meets her? I'm so confused, are these sites wrong or am I missing something?

Hi anon!

I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t know much about Hector’s love life off the top of my head lol but as a general rule, while wikis can be a useful starting point, they should never be taken as a source or authority on anything. Better to read the Vulgate itself and draw conclusions from there. Medieval literature can be confusing enough on its own without a game of telephone mucking it up even more. A secondary option can be finding the information in guidebooks, as those will source their claims, and are therefore more trustworthy than an online wiki which anyone can edit. But all secondary sources are secondary. They will never be as good as locating the information from the text itself, as you'll see.

I'll walk you through the process to corroborate information so you can research these things yourself next time! All the books I reference are available as PDFs on my blog and I’ll link them right here for you.

First thing I did was open The Arthurian Name Dictionary by Christopher W. Bruce and key-word search for "Perse". She first pops up in relation to [H]Ector, where she's listed as his amie, the French word for ladylove or sweetheart.

She also has her very own listing in the dictionary! At the end of each character in the dictionary, the information is sourced to the text it originates from. [VulgLanc] refers to the Vulgate, specifically the Lancelot books. So we’ll look for her there next.

Groadain's niece is first mentioned Lancelot Part II, Chapter 56. The Story of Hector; Segurade and the Lady of Roestoc. This can be verified with a word search, like so.

Now the tricky thing here is, Maiden Narrow March is unnamed in the Vulgate. I don't see where the name "Perse" comes from, nor her intended's name "Zelotes". Neither are listed in the final book of the Vulgate which tracks that information. Neither pop up anywhere in the Vulgate, I checked. But Maiden Narrow March can be found by searching "Narrow March" and is first mentioned in chapter 61. Hector's Adventures During His Quest for Gawain. Oddly enough, this chapter opens with Hector distracted in thought by "the one he loves most in the world," which I take to mean Groadain's niece. Anyway, here Lord Narrow March explains the customs of Castle Narrow March and mentions his unwed daughter. Hector has to help liberate the lord and castle from a custom imposed on him by an enemy lord. So Hector fights the seneschal to King of a Hundred Knights, named Marganor, and defeats him. That done, all the prisoners are freed, the lord is happy blah blah, and the lord's daughter, Maiden Narrow March, kisses Hector.

After this Hector refuses her marriage proposal lol but he does ultimately promise he won't marry anyone else and accepts a ring from her.

Now here's the thing. I just reread this section. I don't see where Maiden Narrow March was ever betrothed to anyone else. Her father makes a point of saying she could have had three children by her age had she married sooner, but he was waiting for the best knight. Before Hector met the people at Narrow March, he had a few other adventures rescuing women, namely one lady whom needed to be avenged on Guinas of Blakestan. Then he went to Narrow March and was afterwards imprisoned elsewhere.

Some chapters focused on other characters happen, then in 65. Hector Rescues Elaine the Peerless From Her Imprisonment, Hector is still imprisoned by the Lord of the Fens, and things get confusing.

Maiden Narrow March learns of his imprisonment and implores her father send men to rescue him, which is done, but likewise the lady whom Hector avenged on Guinas of Blakestan is the daughter of the Lord of the Fens. AND THEN they introduce another maiden who is the niece of the Lord of the Fens. This maiden, apparently, has a crush on Hector and asks for "custody" of him from her uncle (her words, not mine), which is granted.

The chapter continues on as Maiden Fens talks about her sister, Elaine the Peerless, who was forced into a marriage she didn't want, and imprisoned for speaking against her husband (footnotes draw a direct comparison to Erec/Enid), and then Hector goes on to rescue Elaine, as the chapter title indicates.

Hector does say to Maiden Fens, unnamed sister of Elaine the Peerless, that he loves Maiden Narrow March, so as to that part of your ask, we do have confirmation there that Hector views her romantically!

In conclusion, the text specifies "maiden" when the woman is unwed and "lady" when she is married, but other than that, it's so confusing to separate them based on male relation that I can't really give you a complete answer. Nightbringer claims that Perse is given to a knight she didn't want while her father was on his deathbed and that's the point at which Hector liberates her. But "Narrow March" is never mentioned again in the entirety of the Vulgate after Hector sends that last greeting. Nor does a search of "amie" refer to any woman attached to Hector. The footnotes talk about other character's ladyloves, even Agravaine's amie, the Maiden of the Chair, but not Hector's Maiden Narrow March.

I even looked through the summaries of Vulgate chapters (located in the last book of the Vulgate along with the lists of names) and don't see where Hector rescues Maiden Narrow March. Nightbringer claims Vulgate, as does the Name Dictionary, but then on Nightbringer when you go to the page for "Narrow Borderland," it lists a bunch of other sources. I checked as well in Le Morte d'Arthur [Part I] and [Part II], there's a Duke of South Marches that Marhaus fights, and a Pedivere of Straight Marches that Bors defeats, but no clarification on Perse Narrow Marches or Hector's involvement there that I could find.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you a complete answer! It's possible I overlooked something, but this at least illustrates the importance of primary sources. Even The Name Dictionary seems to have its "facts" wrong! Then again, I could be missing an obvious answer here. Happy to be corrected if anyone knows more about Miss Perse.

Anyway, have a good day, anon. :^)

[tevanbuckley]

ex-fundie who read the transcript and chiming in about the "thorn in your flesh" word! it's not a reference to the crown of thorns, but a reference to a passage later in the new testament, one of the epistles written by the apostle Paul (supposedly). it's kind of unclear what he meant, but the verse says "Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." (sorry for the long quote lol). Basically the idea I was taught was that it means some kind of struggle, and though we don't know what exactly Paul meant, the idea is that even through our struggles, God works in mysterious ways (for lack of a non cliche description lmao). So my guess is that in the interview, they're talking about that as a metaphor for a struggle that has been ongoing, and how they look for God in it and all. The verse after the one I quoted also says "For when I am weak, then I am strong" which is one of those very Christian platitudes lol.

oh yeah this is for sure something I missed lmfao. tbf the school I went to was technically founded by Christian socialists so it was a lot less god is eternally testing you and more “everyone is equal under the eyes of god,” and “a camel will pass through the eye of a needle before a rich man enters the kingdom of heaven.”

so perhaps not a super typical Christian experience lol, but this sort of rhetoric always gives me strong fundie/evangelical vibes.

[dballzposting]

HI i had a horrible dragon ball thought and thought i should send it to you because i haven't done that in a long time :(

love stumbling across screenshots that remind me that akira toriyama doesn't give a shit about canonical heights EVER and just says numbers when asked and doesn't follow said numbers.

Like i was taking a peep at the manga because i want to learn how to replicate the art style (my most serious art has already been damaged by the dragon balls i draw and i say it like... damaged. but i don't mean that i think thats a good thing because thats what i want) and i find these bits from the 23rd tenkaichi budokai where Yamcha (6'0") and Tien (6'2") are both like a head taller than Goku (5'9") which... no they aren't lol. but it's fun to think that they are so I'll incorporate that into my belief system regardless.

And i also found this one picture from the end of the anime (equally inaccurate about numbers which i find delightful. i am incredibly amused by this.) where Goten (??) is like also a head shorter than Trunks (5'7"? probably, that's how tall future him was at that age idk man who fucking knows. not me.) which would probably put Goten at like... Vegeta height in terms of dragon ball inaccuracies because 17 year old Future Trunks was depicted as being considerably taller than his father in canon.

And that's generally insane because as far as i'm aware Goten is usually depicted to be vaguely taller than Trunks when they grow up to what should be their full heights in fan works? which is fair because Trunks is REALLY doing his best with what he has (Vegeta dna)

Also about Trunk's height- future Trunks (malnourished by saiyan standards... and probably earthling standards too) is really only 5 cm shorter than Goku?? which is not even much actually, Future Trunks is about as tall as LIONEL MESSI which, sure I'm Argentinian and that's my like referent for short men sue me... but that's hilarious because Goku is only 5 cm taller than that like what. and adult Gohan is only 6 cm taller than that! because he's only a single fucking centimeter taller than Goku! why is he only a fucking centimeter taller than his father. who even cares about that. him? probably not.

Also to expand onto the Vegeta Height Goten thing, that'd be so funny personally because i feel like the second neurotic ass SON OF VEGETA Trunks notices this he would tear his own hair out, i think he would resent that fact with everything he had. i don't even quite know why he would hate it yet, but i do know that he wouldn't be a fan of it.

But of course none of this fucking matters. because akira toriyama is a bitchass motherfucker and if i had a wife he would piss on her.

-Yui7 after getting back from talking about Dragon ball and how much he misses Goku for like a half a day.

Hi I forgot about this ask and it has sat in my inbox for 9 slutty slutty days.

IT'S TRUE!!!!!! THE HEIGHTS ARE A MESS!!!!!!

To be fair it must be hard to give a shit when you're depicting multiple characters in complex scenes and poses and angles all of the time.

BUT THEN WHY TRY TO DISCLOSE NUMBERS AT ALL !??!?!??!

I get the impression that he just draws characters as they feel. Even though Goku went through a growth spurt before the 23rd tenkaichi budokai, he's still younger than the others and he's still always been an aspiring young shoot, so Tenshinhan and Yamucha still need to be taller (and therefore more mature) than him.

That's why Vegeta steadily got taller as he gained wisdom and muscle mass.... he had to look more important.

Goten is kept shorter than Trunks consistently, except in GT I feel like they're allowed to be on-par. But they're both definitely taller than Vegeta I mean come on.

If the real meaning comes from visual impressions then I'll be on record as saying that watching Future Trunks on-screen you definitely see one TALL STACK of fresh organic non-GMO free-range Super Saiyan BEEF. Perhaps he should be shorter like his father. But when have animes cared about genetics

Trunks is always a tall bitch and Goku is always so tall and Gohan is always so tall and Goten even is so tall. They're all so tall. And then they keep making Vegeta taller too.

Krillin just has no chance

[ironladders]

Ughhh from what I’ve seen of the avengers academy comics I think I’m gonna have to rethink my Nate plot….lol not a bad thing…I just wanna make this thing good lol…is avengers academy in 616? If so that makes bringing Nate back into the young avengers fold so much easier, but then does he go back to iron lad or stay kid immortus? Can he be a young avenger as kid immortus? I mean Carol knows he’s back in some way shape or form why hasn’t she told the other young avengers? Is it reductive to have him rejoin the team as they take over being the avengers of earth whilst the mainline avengers are in the impossible city in space, do I rename the young avengers the new avengers like that one team billy and Teddy were on…do Cassie and Nate get back together or do I let them go their seperate ways romantically (I kinda like Cassie and Kate because of volume 1)…my current idea is Carol does indeed inform either Cassie or Kate or both that he’s back and they both storm over like hey tf when were you gonna tell us you’re ok?! *grabs* we all missed you so much you’ve missed so much from over the years we’re catching up! (Lighthearted-ly)…also the Christmas panels from AA with Nate in Jammies fuels my young avengers living together in their base vibes so much like imagine their movie nights or like board game nights…imagine them all at 3am attempting to bake only to fail spectacularly….my slice of life loving heart melts =3

Um a small question, please don’t feel obligated to answer but how do you feel about billy and Nate as a potential crackship…I kinda like it won’t lie…the canon material does kinda suggest either a very close friendship or a lil crush on Nate’s part and I just think they’d be kinda cute and a nice dynamic together…I mean obvs billyteddy is canon and therefore it’ll never happen…but idk it occasionally rotates in my brain…

Wow this is so much I’m so sorry…uh thank you for your time in advance….you fuel my Nate richards and young avengers special interests! =3

ok wow hi i am late to this sorry; there is a LOT to unpack here so let me just dissect this ask by its points:

1) yes avengers academy is in 616

2) “can he be a young avenger as kid immortus” i don’t see why not! despite going by that now nate seems to be chilling with the rest of the school which implies his role as kid immortus is not inherently villainous

3) i… do not think carol recognizes him 😭 straight up she doesn’t even know who he is lol

while they both appeared in children’s crusade i don’t think carol and nate ever interacted (if they did it isnt memorable enough for me, #1 nate richards guy, to recall) and her main point of reference for nathaniel richards is the older evil versions of him that she’s more familiar with going up against, so i don’t blame carol for immediately going “NATE RICHARDS?!?!” at the sight of him. also important to note that the entirety of children’s crusade nate NEVER takes his helmet off, so carol wouldn’t have a distinct face to recognize as well. maybe when nate starts mentioning more time travel stuff around her she’ll put the pieces together, or if he just straight up talks to her about it lmao.

4) i don’t think him rejoining the team would be reductive, no — if anything him rejoining the team would be good for nate, i think. it shouldn’t happen immediately because he did just get to the academy and i’d like to see him form relationships outside of the ya, god knows the guy needs more friends and a fresh start, but i do want him to ultimately reunite with the team. there’s a lot of stuff that they haven’t fully resolved with each other in regards to nate and him being back gives the perfect opportunity for that

5) these story beats for your au(?) like names and relationships are up to you tbh, just take the ideas you like & go with what feels right instead of trying to force it all to directly follow canon. at least that’s how i’d usually approach it lmao

wrt to cassnate: i ship cassnate so i am biased to them getting together officially BUT i also wouldn’t mind if they never got romantically involved again. there’s clearly still feelings there based on their interactions in children’s crusade (cassie literally introduced nate to her dad before her OWN BOYFRIEND 😭😭) and paradox lost so i think they deserve to be able to properly explore them but it really just depends on a lot of stuff. also cassie is with kristoff so uh that’d be awkward unless she broke things off with him lmao. no matter what, though, i do want some sort of resolution for all the stuff that’s transpired with both of them involved and for the two to be able to properly sit down and talk about it all. they have both witnessed each other die at the hands of doom and that has to do something to them trauma-wise

if you need any fuel for cassnate and the state of things with nate as a whole, anthony said this back when i asked if nate knows cassie is alive:

6) YES I LOVE THE JAMMIES!! those panels are so special to me, mainly because we rarely ever get nate in casual wear 🥹 in a majority of his appearances he’s just worn the armor, and the only non-armor outfits he was shown in were his school uniform and tanktop + underwear in v1. i’m hoping that with nate officially at the academy that we’ll see more of him in different everyday outfits and be able to learn what exactly his fashion sense is

7) funny you mention natebilly because i LOVE that crackship lmao. you definitely don’t have to worry about being judged for liking it because that pairing (albeit rare compared to b&t) has been around for a while thanks to that children’s crusade oneshot lol, i’ve even known some people in the past who were into it. ship or not, nate and billy definitely had a bond, platonic or otherwise, that i wish had the chance to be explored more.

i do wonder what billy thinks of nate now, after what he did in children’s crusade. if the years and distance apart means that they can never go back to being the friends they once were. or perhaps that old spark could still be rekindled. it’s stuff like this that makes me yearn for a proper reunion, if only to get answers to my burning questions about nate’s relationships, which are so sadly under-explored at the moment. maybe with him back we’ll get to see, who knows…

i’m glad to hear i fuel your nate richards needs! i’ve been a fan of him for years now and it’s always nice to see other people into him :))

[cowboyjen68]

Hi, Jen! I hope you are doing well.

This is a silly question but do you have any advice on dating someone with the same name? Is it common in wlw circles? I am interested in someone who I happen to share a name with (it‘s not too common but also not really unique) and I don‘t know if it would be too awkward if we started dating. But I also don‘t want to miss out on a potentially fulfilling connection! Any advice on how to navigate this? Thank you so much!

This is not silly at all because it can seem a bit weird to share a first name with your romantic partner.

My first girlfriend (7 years together) was also a Jen and we work together now. She is the reason I have the nickname CowboyJen. I always wore a cowboy hat and my friends started referring to me as CowboyJen in 1993 and it just stuck.  So in a fine lesbian tradition I earned my name through one of two paths available to getting an organic nickname. . 1.  By doing something stupid in front of them OR 2. Having a characteristic, habit or personality or fashion trait that stands out a bit.   

Definitely do not pass up the opportunity to date someone based solely on her name. Your friends will figure out how to differentiate the two of you (whether you like it or not) and you will likely find pet names for each other that make it easier to interact with each other. No one will think when you say “Jen is out for a walk” that you are talking about yourself in third person. And if they do, that is probably an issue they need to address LOL

Any weirdness we felt from sharing a name was quickly just a little inside joke and had no real consequences on our relationship. She goes by Jennifer or we still call her by her old last name (even though she has been married to a wonderful woman with a new last name for 10 years) and I am still CowboyJen to pretty much everyone in my life except college and high school friends who have a totally different name for me. (there were A LOT of Jennifers in my childhood years). 

     Every generation has a fair share of popular and therefore common names, so it is not all that rare for women who date each other to share a name or some derivative of a name. NOW a new girlfriend having an ex’s name might take a swifter approach to finding a nickname or using a pet name right away. That can be way more awkward, but not impossible to overcome.

[angiethewitch]

Hey :) I know you said not to get you started on the order of druids and neo celtic druid revivals but... could you start on them? I'm new to paganism and had been tempted by the likes of OBOD and BDO and would appreciate knowing if there's stuff I should be aware of lol

Feel free to ignore this if you genuinely don't want to talk about it all though :)

hey okay so I actually mixed it up, it's not the order of bards ovates and druids I was referring to, I was actually referring to the ancient order of druids. I have a problem with modern druidry in general, and ill explain my reasoning.

the AOD was made up by a bunch of bored Englishmen who, after the english completely slaughtered the druids, decided they quite fancied becoming the new druids - despite the fact we barely know anything about them. they completely wrecked the modern understanding of druids, and that still carries today.

druids these days are portrayed as tree hugging hippies when they were so much more important than that. they did practice magic, yes, but more importantly they were community leaders, judges, and historical keepers. they held the knowledge of our countries histories. they settled disputes in our kingdoms. like say there was a battle, a king could simply call on a druid to stand judgement. whatever a druid said was law. if a druid judged that one kingdom was in the wrong and had to lay down arms and stop attacking and give land back, that would be respected. they were incredibly important figures in our communities. you can see why the english colonisers had a problem with this, because they wanted to be the figurehead. they killed the druids, wiping out our cultural way of life and histories as they did so. it was a cultural genocide.

and then the colonisers decided they wanted to be the druids and cherry picked their favourite parts and completely warped the modern understanding of druidry. most druid orders these days teach a bunch of magic and spirituality, which was only a small part of our culture, and therefore completely diminish the whole point of the druids.

and when the druids did practice magic, it wasn't meditation under trees. they would cut open their enemies stomachs, drag their intestines out, and read the future in their guts. they would slice a man's throat and try to divine a meaning from the blood spatter on the rocks. they would fling people off cliffs to appease the gods. that is a far cry from the uwu peaceful robed men we see depicted today. and modern "druids" today pick a few flowers and decide theyre druids while having absolutely no understanding of the importance of these people in our country. before anything else, they were political figures.

so I have a problem with the AOD because of that, because they slaughtered my people and committed a cultural genocide and then rewrote that very culture. the OBOD took inspiration from the AOD so while I dont know much about the OBOD, I assume they still carry those practices. I know people in the order tend to be told to study alone, which is very very different to how actual druids practiced and studied in groups, as scholars. I know someone who is in the OBOD and they say they were taught the rule of three and to not curse people - do you think the druids back then were actually bothered about the rule of 3 while they were chopping up their sacrifices and cursing people to come down with sickness?

these orders, as far as I am concerned, are a way to carry on that cultural genocide. because I have had arguments with that person I know who is in the OBOD and I keep telling them that thats not what the druids were but they insist that the teachings over in Michigan are more accurate than the actual real historical sources we have, all because someone has a qualification from the Order in front of their name.

some bored middle class aristocratic men decided one day to bring back druidry but completely missed out the gritty shit and kept in the cutesy magical stuff. in our modern eyes, human sacrifice is gross, but that doesn't mean we can rewrite history. every culture everywhere has practiced human sacrifices and every culture has political leaders who did gross things. we can't mess up history just because we don't like it.

these orders are, in my opinion, a symbol of everything wrong with our cultural understanding of my people. they've woo-ified the druids and insist on warping the depiction of them with no regard for the culture theyre actively taking part in destroying.

please bear in mind this is only my opinion, one that has been formed during my own personal studies and reconnection with my culture, and if I got anything wrong with the OBOD I'm open to respectful conversations about it. I just very much struggle to see both sides of the argument when it is my culture that is still being erased by these organisations.

[bthump]

So I was talking to some guy about berserk and ofc he hit me with the classic « Griffith is actually a monster of arrogance and his need to feel superior to guts was the main factor of their relationship » which obv I disagree with + when I asked him about a scene that could illustrate the arrogance that according to him was the main factor behind Griffith actions he mentioned the scene were Griffith meet « god » during the eclipse and the first thing he ask from him is to have wings (« it was a form of arrogance bc he didn’t talk about the band first after the sacrifice » but it doesn’t really make sense bc 1) it was after Griffith heart was frozen so he was not about to cry for his friends 2) aren’t the wings a reference to the hawk ? Or maybe I am missing something ?) But I was looking for a scene that could illustrate that griff is not actually super arrogant / did not feel the need to be constantly superior to guts and there was plenty of small scenes that could work but I wanted to know if according to you there was one or two in the manga that were particularly clear about that ?

lol yeah that arrogance example really doesn't work, since he had a whole monologue before that chapter about the Hawks being killed and how it's strange that he doesn't feel anything about it etc.

imo the wings are a symbol of, yk, soaring ever higher and his ambition and dream. So sure he's arrogant there, because he's already pretty much mentally Femto. To me that's like taking Femto's "still squirming in your pitiful existence I see?" and using it as proof that Griffith always felt superior to Guts.

ANYWAY examples of Griffith not being super arrogant and not needing to be superior to Guts:

Having sex with Gennon for the money to keep as many Hawks alive as possible; asking Casca if he’s dirty. (ch 17)

Risking his life for Guts (ch 15)

Risking his life for Guts again w/ Zodd, and the "for your sake," conversation. (ch 5-7)

Also the fact that he’s completely chill about being totally defeated by Zodd and doesn’t take it as a blow to his ego (unlike Guts, as we see in chapter 65).

Also this lmao:

*twirling his hair around his finger* Wow Guts you’re so much tougher than me... (ch 6)

Sending a search party after Guts and Casca despite the nobles he needs to suck up to telling him it's a waste of resources. (ch 21)

Asking if Guts thinks he's cruel, ie needing Guts' reassurance. (ch 32)

Telling Guts he only wants the Hawks to see him soaring up, while Guts is “rough enough to share this with to the end.” (chapter 34)

Nearly pulling his own arm out of its socket trying to save Guts when he falls off the giant eclipse hand (ch 76)

"But now as he shines so glaring within me, the junk grows dull." (ch 49)

"You're the only one... who made me forget my dream." (ch 78)

“You made Griffith weak! Griffith’s no good without you!” (ch 45)

“But Griffith always gets impulsive when it comes to you!” (ch 18)

Laughing when Guts wins the water fight by dumping a bucket over his head. (ch 16)

Oh yk also in the Lost Chapter, the way Griffith is more than happy to not have free will and turn control over to God strikes me as the opposite of arrogant. The first thing he says when God is like ‘yo I’ve been in total control of your life since before you were born’ is ‘okay what do you want me to do then?’

The way Griffith asks him to assassinate Julius, rather than ordering him, which is pointed out in the text when Guts mentions it. (ch 10)

Thinking about Guts leaving while fucking Charlotte, crying and tracing scratch-marks after. (ch 38) 

Crying and apologizing to all the dead soldiers in his subconscious (ch 77)

Smiling and being relatively chill about the loss of his dream when they drive away from Midland (ch 59) before everything with Wyald goes down.

The way Griffith’s internal monologue during the second duel was matter of fact and demonstrated that Griffith already knew full well that Guts could beat him in a one-on-one duel - therefore that’s not what he’s having an emotional breakdown over. He’s known for a long time that Guts has surpassed him in raw ability with a sword, and he’s factoring that fact into his decision making here:

This monologue boils down to: “Guts is better than me, so I have to use an extremely risky technique and gamble everything on one strike.” He’s not even sure of his success here. “If successful,” he says.

So yk, the point of the duel isn’t to prove he’s superior and he didn’t fall to pieces bc Guts beat him, which is something I see a lot of Berserk fans think, it’s to keep Guts at his side through the only means he can think of, and he fell to pieces because it didn’t work. (ch 36)

Someone who’s convinced Griffith only cares about being superior to Guts could probably argue away a lot of these, but like, this is why you should apply Occam’s Razor to your interpretations of stories sometimes, yk? If there’s a bunch of important moments you need to somehow explain away to justify your take, it’s probably not a very strong interpretation. An interpretation of a story should shed light on it, not make half of it confusing and contradictory.

Like if Griffith’s main trait is arrogance, what does chapter 17 exist to convey? Why are we shown him feeling shame and guilt? Why does he self harm? Why does he risk his life for Guts? Why does he need to be convinced to make the sacrifice? Why does Guts make him forget his dream? If Griffith was devastated because he’s not superior to Guts after all and losing the duel was a blow to his ego, why would Miura choose to convey that through Griffith thinking about him while fucking Charlotte and then curling up and crying about him? Is that tonally consistent?

Like imo the best argument against Griffith needing to feel superior to Guts is the fact that his narrative just straight up isn’t about that, it’s about something else entirely, but that requires like a whole essay of explanation lol.

Hope this helps though!

[mr-areyoustupid]

Episode 1:

spoilers below kinda

Okay… I’m only a few minutes in, but there is already a strong lack off some of the expositions that was helpful in the og. No establishing shots, show how much disrepair the houses is in, nor is there any scenes of house hunting from Sam and Jay (this version of Allison and Mike), which was helpful for the part of why, in the og, Allison and Mike were so willing to move in.

Also, no suspense on the fact that Sam was getting the house, I know it’s kinda a given but still the convo between the lawyer/solicitor felt serious clunky cause of it.

Gonna be honest, these quips are really 50/50 rn, tbh maybe a worse ratio.

It’s also weird that they instantly jumped to running a b&b instead of like the og (which had a more logical progression of the ghosts growing on Allison, influencing the start of the b&b, plus the failure of selling the house to the one lady in one ep).

Also, I feel there’s a lack of conflict with sam and jay needing to take out a loan feels weird.

Oh god, the intro is not fun and goofy D’:.

They tried the stereotypical headless ghosts, but idk how the hell that is gonna work in the context of the ghosts being a greaser

Also as suspected the choice in the ghosts is a bit weird i feel like to many of the ghosts are 20th century (almost half of them are).

Damn the revolutionary war soldier is kinda cunty (and a lot more obviously gay, they ain’t even trying to be subtle)

I am glad they did change up the plot beats, so it doesn’t feel to repeative but it definitely feels a bit quick

Okay, forget what I said about too little exposition, the story is now explaining some of the ghosts powers and therefore spoiling how robin’s equivalent odin died, there goes some of the mystery to the powers and deaths.

The revolutionary soldier smells like a fart because he died of dysentery lol.

Also, pat’s equivalent, pete is from the 80s and distinctly references ghostbusters, which has me thrown off … idk why, ig because pat technically died before ghostbusters came out in the bbc version bc they mentioned he died in 1984

Also ik most of the ghosts died before tv and movies but why does the show act like the characters wouldn’t understand the concept of story telling at all…

Also I really don’t like trevor (the equivalent to julian) because he feels to young to actually fit the greasy politician stereotype in an actually fun way, plus he can’t stop mentioning he was the last to die, like dawg, I get it, no understands your references

I get this is an old school home but why an american house got tea cups instead of coffee cups fr.

The plague guys are now cholera victims, teehee

The revolutionary soldier, Isaac, is yet again being my fav cunty lil g-

-oh god sam just rolled down a full fucking set of stairs

also this time the knock out seemed a lot less intentional because it was over a vase that wasn’t intended to kill her, unlike julians purposeful push.

the characterization between julian and trevor already feels pretty hella different

Pete already trauma dumping about his marital issues

Voiceover scenes, no way dawg

“what is donut hole” -odin (real af)

I desperately am thankful that they mentioned sam was dead for a second, I genuinely missed that fact while watching the og and was confused for a while.

Oh wait- they actually did takeout a loan, although actually they’re in debt on a maxed out credit card (semantics)

trevors underwear was censored, what up

the ghosts do be trying to scare the ever living sh:t out of sam ig.

BBC Ghosts vs CBS Ghosts

So I just saw a post mentioning the fact that there was an American version of the BBC’s Ghosts (thank you @m1auu for mentioning it in your tags under one post) and as someone looking for any good reason to procrastinate sleeping and school work I decided I’d watch it (at least the first season). I have always loved comparing remakes of show, especially in the case of British shows being turned into American television, especially due to the poor track record. As for why I decided to post about this in the first place, one part me loving the original Ghosts, second part me looking to goof around, third part my love for history (and I genuinely enjoyed how they played with it in the BBC Ghosts so I hope the CBS’s version will try to make similar efforts).

(Also, I’m not sure if this will be at all important for my analysis, but I am a yankee doodle doo)

Before Watching:

I think before even start watching, I have a few a issues I think I can predict before I actually start digging into the show. Firstly, I want to start off with my biggest worry which I hope won’t, but probably will exist, which is that the problem, that almost every American remake I have I watched has seems to have, which is the translation of thematic ideas. I think this problem happens almost every time, where an American remake takes a British IP and makes it either to optimistic or high energy, for example; the inbetweeners or the office (uk) to the office (us). This especially bothers me because a lot of British humor focuses on satire, especially on class issues, which American comedies avoid (despite it being an extremely prominent issue in the States) and a lot American comedies will also often lack subtlety as well (something I really valued form Ghosts (BBC)). Now this could all turn out to be nothing, but even before seeing anything I don’t have to positive of an outlook.

My second issue is something that’ll probably be apparent to anyone who knows about the US history and British history. The cast, while Britain has centuries of distinct historical periods that the average person could make the distinctions between, I believe that’ll be much harder in an American version due to America’s much shorter history (mostly disregarding the indigenous history as it is unlikely there will be more than one indigenous character), as well as the fact the a lot history is hard to have in one condensed area of the states, like a cowboy would not be caught dead in the same place as an 90s metro- politician. Also, when it comes to characters having equivalents, I think there will be an attempt, but I doubt there will be more than Pat, Julian, Kitty, Fanny and maybe Mary, if the setting happens to be placed in a Northeastern state. My other, thought based on a glance at the thumbnail image that comes up when you first look up the show, is that instead of the Captain being a WWII soldier, his equivalent will most likely be an American Revolutionary soldier (which I could see maybe working ….ehhh).

That’s it, now for a kinda of live reporting of the first few episodes

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry for the late response, I wasn’t hesitant to elaborate I just missed it at first since I only really check the Teenage Mutant Neglected Turtles tag when a post of yours pops up on my feed. I prefer referring to myself & the people ik irl in vague/gender neutral terms online but to understand wth is going on imma have to be more specific lol

My parents were raised in cultures that treated women like trophies instead of people & only had (cis) brothers. So when they had only kids w/ uteri they were kinda unprepared (tho I don’t think they realized it). They ended up giving all of us boy names (except the oldest who has the most uninspired girly name ever lol) & have always been supportive of us indulging in “masculine” interests (don’t bat an eye at my love of cartoons targeted to boys). They’re very big on nature/“god’s design” however social constructs of gender roles are man made therefore do not matter. This makes them seem progressive on the surface but when you take 2 seconds to think you realize they literally just ignore the fact that we live in a society & people matter/are valid. I actually still live with them so while ik my gender identity isn’t exactly cis it’s not really safe for me to find out what flavour of trans I am (I was using “trans” as an umbrella term). I can safely act v gnc as long as i stick to she/her & identify as a girl tho so that’s nice (calling myself gnc would probably earn me a lecture & a media ban. They would ground me too but I’m too introverted for that to have an effect)

I had never really thought about the internalized sexism behind this whole situation so this has been a fun mental exercise :)

But yeah, TLDR; parents didn’t know how to raise girls so assigned us gnc at birth & have already disowned the youngest for revealing how right they were (he’s gender fluid & made the smart decision of “moving out early” as I like to call it)

-A(GNC)AB

that is some WILD shit there, huh. thanks for extrapolating.

good on ur sibling for getting out of there, hope you can follow suit soon.