#and there's nothing for hobbits

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

One hope I have for S3 of Rings of Power is the writers really start to streamline all the major plot threads. Although it has its charms, I do think the Stranger/Nori plot is something that should be incorporated into one of the other plots next season or just cut altogether. It feels like something that is there more out of obligation than anything else, that this is Tolkien so there needs to be hobbits and wizards somewhere, and while I don't really have an issue with that on principle, the fact is they haven't really found a way to work it into the show well and now it just seem to take screentime away from more important plot threads, namely Númenor. That one has really suffered this season, not getting the focus it really needs despite being far more important to the overall story being told. I also feel like the Southlands plot has run its course, but I think they've stranded Isildur there to set the stage for the founding of Gondor.

[pilkypills]

Interesting that Gloin specifically remembers Legolas being an asshole to him bc that makes his presence in the Hobbit retroactively canon book-wise. Also interesting that his lack of appearance in the Hobbit (probably due to not existing as a character yet) could be in-universe chalked up to Bilbo never meeting him OR straight up forgetting him. Legolas walks up to Old Bilbo in Rivendell like “hey dude remember me? Thranduil’s kid?” And Bilbo’s like “oh…. hey…… you…..” while sweating bullets

[brethilach]

I find all the jokes about Sauron trying (and failing) to read Pippin's mind through the Palantír and as the next person but y'all DO know it was because Pippin was able to resist him and chose not to say anything, right? You DO know it wasn't actually because Pippin is just stupid... right?

[morningnoodles]

my sole entry for bagginshieldtober 2024. fix it version of the ending under the cut ✿

big shoutout to @acorn-and-oakleaves for hosting this year's bagginshieldtober!! come join us on discord, folks (❁´◡`❁)

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

no because actually what do you mean that thorin knew there was a thief and didn’t even think to consider bilbo, the guy they literally hired to be their burglar, for a moment and instead confided in him above the dwarves he’d known for so much longer and what do you mean he closed his eyes and had to physically turn away when he found out it was in fact bilbo that stole the arkenstone because he was in tears? like what excuse me no just no that’s not allowed.

[tsuyonpuu]

Now and for always 🍃

[calirph]

𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐎 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐇𝐄𝐋

golden autumm cloak and costume details. the hobbit: an unexpected journey.

[nerdanelparmandil]

Upon further inspection, I think all, and I mean all of Tolkien's elves are absolutely feral. Don't be fooled, they could rip your guts apart with their bare hands while singing their tra-la-lay songs. They just choose not to, most of the times.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

What if Legolas was in Rivendell at the same time Thorin and his company were and just… decided to tag along for a bit bc hey, he was going in that direction (home) anyway, might as well have some company?

Just imagine

A dwarf: *comments about the elves’ vegetarianism after they’ve left rivendell*

Legolas: you do know they were fucking with you right? Elves are not vegetarian.

The dwarves: *suprise pikachu face*

———————————————

The company +bilbo+legolas: *getting chased by orcs Again*

Legolas: i though ya’ll said this was supposed to be a secret quest?!

——————————————-

The group: *breaks into beorn’s house to hide*

Beorn: why are there dwarves in my hou- LEGOLAS WHY ARE YOU HERE?! I’M NOT HIDING YOU FROM YOUR SIBLINGS AGAIN!

Legolas: ✌️

———————————————

Gandalf: *leaves the group at the edge of mirkwood forest while speaking cryptically *

Legolas:

Legolas: i know you’re going to do something that’ll piss me off, i can feel it.

———————————————

Legolas, rolling up next to bilbo: so, thorin huh?

Bilbo: *chokes on his own spit*

Legolas: no, i get it. It’s the beard right?

———————————————

The dwarves: *get captured by the silvans*

Thranduil, to legolas after having interrogated thorin: i don’t suppose you’ll tell me what’s going on?

Legolas: nope

Thranduil: is this one of your whims again?

Legolas: mmmmaaaaybe

Thranduil: *sigh* nothing i do will change the situation, will it?

Legolas: given their head strong personalities, i highly doubt it.

———————————————

Bilbo: *gets the one ring*

Legolas: I pretended i do not see.

———————————————

Before the botfa

Thranduil: and you are sure you couldn’t have changed the outcome?

Legolas: knowing history and knowing how this world works, yeah, pretty fucking sure.

[bondagebimbo]

💅🏻 real hot girl shit 💅🏻

(posting selfies that basically look the same at 3am for attention)

[breadbrobin]

the way thorin looks at bilbo >>>>>>

[fictionadventurer]

I keep thinking about Lewis' review of The Hobbit, because he claimed that the main thing contemporary reviewers compared it to was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Was fantasy in that poor of a state that Alice was the closest thing they could think of? Comparing that chaotic fever dream to Tolkien's intricately crafted world? Lewis does specify that the comparison is that both books are by an "Oxford professor at play", but they're otherwise so different that putting the two in the same category baffles me.

[captaincanonly]

this is not normal;…!!!! AUGAHAHHHHH LITTLE GUYS HAVE TAKEN OVER MY LIFE!!

part 1 part 3

[sapphoismymuse]

every now and then i remember golf is a canon sport in middle earth (possibly the only one ever mentioned?) and with this in mind, i think there aren’t enough golf-centric fics and art out there we need more

like imagine a retirement fic where bilbo and the other hobbits are teaching thorin how to play golf

or an erebor fic where bilbo brings golf to the mountain and teaches it to all the dwarves

the possibilities

[basil--and--sage]

The poll is done and you have spoken: most of you have the headcanon that Dwarves come of age at the age of 70. That's my headcanon, too, funnily enough.

So let us use some cross-multiplication to put some things into perspective. I use the age of 21 as a benchmark, since that was the age of majority during Tolkien's youth.

Let's find out, how old some of the characters were in human years during certain events.

Thorin was 1,5 years old, when Frerin was born, and about 4 years old, when Dís was born. He was about 7 years old, when Smaug came, and about 16, when he fought in Azanulbizar and lost grandfather, father and brother and became King. He was about 34, when Fíli was born. He died at 58,5 years old.

Frerin was about 3, when his sister was born, about 6, when the Dragon came, and died at about 14 years old in Azanulbizar.

Dís was 3, when Smaug stole Erebor, and about 12, when her brothers fought in Azanulbizar. She was about 30 years old, when her first son was born, and about 54, when she lost her immediate family during the Battle of the Five Armies.

Fíli was 1,5 years old, when his brother was born, and 6, when his cousin Gimli was born. He died before his 25th birthday.

Kíli was 4,5 years old, when Gimli was born, and died at 23 years old.

At the end of the quest, Gimli was about 18 years old, and probably in the beginning angry that he wasn't allowed to come with them, and then utterly heartbroken.

I can only talk about myself, but I think it speaks volumes, that Gimli had to stay home at 18, while Frerin died at 14 in Azanulbizar. I do wonder, if Thorin every questioned, what the hell his grandfather and the other adults were thinking, especially considering that Frerin wasn't the youngest by far (Dáin was 9 years old and Glóin only 5). If that isn't transgenerational trauma and Glóin breaking the circle, then I don't know what to say. I did the math in preparation for a fic and before that I never realized, how young they were during Azanulbizar and, to be honest, I was appalled.

(Most of the numbers are rounded and no promises that everything is correct.)

[brethilach]

gollum is a little freak but I genuinely get so upset thinking about him because we know that was still a lil freaky even before he and deagól found the ring but he very well would've had the opportunity to have a good live and BE good if they hadn't. and no matter what happened afterward, he couldn't go back home. even if he confessed to his crime he very likely would've still been kicked out of his community, or at the very least socially shunned to the point where he might as well just leave anyway. the ring would've consumed him no matter what, and for no fault of his own (or at the least, no faults that would ever warrant some cosmic punishment amounting to what the ring Did to him). by the time Bilbo found him he was far, FAR past the normal lifespan of a Hobbit. After the Ring was destroyed Bilbo began deteriorating at 130, and he had only beaten the current record for the longest Hobbit lifespan by a single year. Gollum was at LEAST 3x older than that. Very likely more. No matter what happened—even if Sam was a little kinder, Faramir was a little gentler, or Frodo was able to fully reach "Smeagól" in the way he so desperately wanted to, even if he helped destroy the Ring himself, or he didn't fall into the fire—Gollum would've died with the Ring. Even if the Quest FAILED and Gollum successfully claimed the Ring like he wanted, he STILL would've died (because Sauron would have never let him hold on to that thing for hundreds of years again, if his body could've even handled that). There is no reality where Smeagól would have a happy ending, whether he was "redeemed" or not. Yet all of it was such a fundemental factor in the success of the Quest (and even Bilbo's success during the Quest of Erebor). Definition of Doomed by the narrative