#and there's nothing for hobbits

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

One hope I have for S3 of Rings of Power is the writers really start to streamline all the major plot threads. Although it has its charms, I do think the Stranger/Nori plot is something that should be incorporated into one of the other plots next season or just cut altogether. It feels like something that is there more out of obligation than anything else, that this is Tolkien so there needs to be hobbits and wizards somewhere, and while I don't really have an issue with that on principle, the fact is they haven't really found a way to work it into the show well and now it just seem to take screentime away from more important plot threads, namely Númenor. That one has really suffered this season, not getting the focus it really needs despite being far more important to the overall story being told. I also feel like the Southlands plot has run its course, but I think they've stranded Isildur there to set the stage for the founding of Gondor.

[pilkypills]

Interesting that Gloin specifically remembers Legolas being an asshole to him bc that makes his presence in the Hobbit retroactively canon book-wise. Also interesting that his lack of appearance in the Hobbit (probably due to not existing as a character yet) could be in-universe chalked up to Bilbo never meeting him OR straight up forgetting him. Legolas walks up to Old Bilbo in Rivendell like “hey dude remember me? Thranduil’s kid?” And Bilbo’s like “oh…. hey…… you…..” while sweating bullets

[morningnoodles]

my sole entry for bagginshieldtober 2024. fix it version of the ending under the cut ✿

big shoutout to @acorn-and-oakleaves for hosting this year's bagginshieldtober!! come join us on discord, folks (❁´◡`❁)

[calirph]

𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐎 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐇𝐄𝐋

golden autumm cloak and costume details. the hobbit: an unexpected journey.

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

no because actually what do you mean that thorin knew there was a thief and didn’t even think to consider bilbo, the guy they literally hired to be their burglar, for a moment and instead confided in him above the dwarves he’d known for so much longer and what do you mean he closed his eyes and had to physically turn away when he found out it was in fact bilbo that stole the arkenstone because he was in tears? like what excuse me no just no that’s not allowed.

[tsuyonpuu]

Now and for always 🍃

[louis-wain2electricboogaloo]

I don’t know who the fuck Bimbo and Thorin but I agree with tumblr that they should kiss

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

What if Legolas was in Rivendell at the same time Thorin and his company were and just… decided to tag along for a bit bc hey, he was going in that direction (home) anyway, might as well have some company?

Just imagine

A dwarf: *comments about the elves’ vegetarianism after they’ve left rivendell*

Legolas: you do know they were fucking with you right? Elves are not vegetarian.

The dwarves: *suprise pikachu face*

———————————————

The company +bilbo+legolas: *getting chased by orcs Again*

Legolas: i though ya’ll said this was supposed to be a secret quest?!

——————————————-

The group: *breaks into beorn’s house to hide*

Beorn: why are there dwarves in my hou- LEGOLAS WHY ARE YOU HERE?! I’M NOT HIDING YOU FROM YOUR SIBLINGS AGAIN!

Legolas: ✌️

———————————————

Gandalf: *leaves the group at the edge of mirkwood forest while speaking cryptically *

Legolas:

Legolas: i know you’re going to do something that’ll piss me off, i can feel it.

———————————————

Legolas, rolling up next to bilbo: so, thorin huh?

Bilbo: *chokes on his own spit*

Legolas: no, i get it. It’s the beard right?

———————————————

The dwarves: *get captured by the silvans*

Thranduil, to legolas after having interrogated thorin: i don’t suppose you’ll tell me what’s going on?

Legolas: nope

Thranduil: is this one of your whims again?

Legolas: mmmmaaaaybe

Thranduil: *sigh* nothing i do will change the situation, will it?

Legolas: given their head strong personalities, i highly doubt it.

———————————————

Bilbo: *gets the one ring*

Legolas: I pretended i do not see.

———————————————

Before the botfa

Thranduil: and you are sure you couldn’t have changed the outcome?

Legolas: knowing history and knowing how this world works, yeah, pretty fucking sure.

[breadbrobin]

the way thorin looks at bilbo >>>>>>

[basil--and--sage]

The poll is done and you have spoken: most of you have the headcanon that Dwarves come of age at the age of 70. That's my headcanon, too, funnily enough.

So let us use some cross-multiplication to put some things into perspective. I use the age of 21 as a benchmark, since that was the age of majority during Tolkien's youth.

Let's find out, how old some of the characters were in human years during certain events.

Thorin was 1,5 years old, when Frerin was born, and about 4 years old, when Dís was born. He was about 7 years old, when Smaug came, and about 16, when he fought in Azanulbizar and lost grandfather, father and brother and became King. He was about 34, when Fíli was born. He died at 58,5 years old.

Frerin was about 3, when his sister was born, about 6, when the Dragon came, and died at about 14 years old in Azanulbizar.

Dís was 3, when Smaug stole Erebor, and about 12, when her brothers fought in Azanulbizar. She was about 30 years old, when her first son was born, and about 54, when she lost her immediate family during the Battle of the Five Armies.

Fíli was 1,5 years old, when his brother was born, and 6, when his cousin Gimli was born. He died before his 25th birthday.

Kíli was 4,5 years old, when Gimli was born, and died at 23 years old.

At the end of the quest, Gimli was about 18 years old, and probably in the beginning angry that he wasn't allowed to come with them, and then utterly heartbroken.

I can only talk about myself, but I think it speaks volumes, that Gimli had to stay home at 18, while Frerin died at 14 in Azanulbizar. I do wonder, if Thorin every questioned, what the hell his grandfather and the other adults were thinking, especially considering that Frerin wasn't the youngest by far (Dáin was 9 years old and Glóin only 5). If that isn't transgenerational trauma and Glóin breaking the circle, then I don't know what to say. I did the math in preparation for a fic and before that I never realized, how young they were during Azanulbizar and, to be honest, I was appalled.

(Most of the numbers are rounded and no promises that everything is correct.)

[chasseusedetoiles]

memories from the little house in the forest

characters: malleus, lilia, silver

words: 1358

status: completed

ao3 link (in case someone prefers it)

from this headcanon

thank you so much @oncloudatlas for beta-reading this💘💘what I would do without you💘

English is not my first language so please be kind, and enjoy!

Malleus couldn’t bear being left alone with the human cub. There wasn’t hate between them; actually, the word Malleus would’ve used to better describe what was going on in his guts every time he had to visit Silver was: awkwardness. Which was really ridiculous. A prince like him, according to what his grand-mother told him with her strict tone, must only be prideful, showing it with chin up and broad shoulder.

However, Malleus had barely any contact with humans, and he wasn’t really used to being this close to them. Silver was the only encounter he had for the moment with that feeble species, with a short lifespan full of sorrows. And the more Malleus spent time with him, the more he was unable to grasp what Lilia saw, in humans, to be so attracted by them.

The old fairy was amazed by his own child. Malleus always had to keep himself from rolling his eyes when Lilia referred to Silver in that sappy way, or from twisting his tongue. The more Silver grew, the less Malleus saw what made Lilia’s eyes shine like the brightest stars in the sky. The toddler, at only one year after his finding in that old castle, resembled more a naked monkey than a proper creature, and his intelligence was so low that he couldn’t comprehend why Lilia insisted to connect to him.

Silver couldn’t properly talk yet, with those sounds coming off his mouth resembling more a donkey’s bray, and he wasn’t even able to stand and walk, too, or to spit fire out of his mouth! Was Lilia bewitched by the toddler? Malleus wasn’t sure, but he knew something: that every time Lilia spoke with love of Silver, an acid bubble grew bigger in his body, and Malleus found it was becoming difficult to control. Was it perhaps jealousy? Nonsense. A prince like him could’t let such a foolish emotion consume him.

However, even thought Malleus held a kind of grudge toward the toddler, he could’t help but give a hand to Lilia. Or, as it actually was, Lilia didn’t give him any choice on that matter. 

“I have to buy some medicine for Silver” Lilia had explained to him while putting on a colorful poncho, one of the many souvenirs he brought back from the lands of the far West.

Malleus had rolled his eyes, the gesture impossible to stop. He could’t really understand why there was a need to give Silver medicines different from the fairy ones, like the Blue Thorns or the dry leaves of the Copper Forest.

“Silver doesn’t have teeth strong as yours” Lilia always reminded him, with that tone of voice used to explain things to a child. Malleus wanted him to understand that, first of all, he wasn’t a child at all and there was no need for that, as he was his prince; and secondly, Silver didn’t possessed any of the extraordinary qualities Malleus had, but the prince refrained himself from saying so. He would never stop hating the fact that Silver could take strawberry flavor-medicines while Malleus had to swallow herbs and tea with a sour taste.

So, that day, Lilia left him taking care of Silver, for the hundredth time. Fortunately, Silver didn’t need much of supervising. The cub’s day consisted mostly in him sleeping in those carpets Lilia arranged for him to play instead of the crib, with Malleus providing him some new toy from time to time. Among these, there was a serie of wood blocks that the prince himself cut for the human cub, although he did it more to impress Lilia than Silver and showing the old fairy that no, Malleus didn’t hate the monkey Lilia called his son. Putting it in simple terms: it was hard for him to accept Malleus didn’t have the special place in his Lilia’s heart he thought he had. At least in those times.

Malleus tried showing Silver how to assemble the blocks, as they were meant to depict his castle; but Silver didn’t care and smashed his castle with his little fist and a little laugh. The toddler then started to assemble the blocks without any logic, and Lilia talked to Malleus telling him Silver needed to play in his own way, as it was “about him and his way to explore the world.”

Malleus was left with only his books, then, given that it was impossible playing with Silver.

But that day, which could’ve been the same as the days before, became later a fond memory.

Malleus was trying to read a book his grand-mother gifted him. The book was ancient, and depicted the story of his family. He had so many questions the moment he noticed some pages were burnt; Malleus would later ask his grand-mother, but he realized it wasn’t the brightest idea. Better ask Lilia, whom knowledge was so vast that Malleus was sure it was bigger than the whole universe…

Something pinched his tail.

Malleus suddenly snapped out of his reading. It was impossible that someone avoided his keen sense; Malleus could find himself even sleeping that nothing or nobody could be able to pass over himself without him noticing. Hence there was no danger at all, but something else made him kind of weary, for the moment at least. Silver moved from his spot.

The human cub was deeply asleep until some minutes before, under that cozy blanket Malleus put all over his tiny body so he couldn’t catch a cold. And he was about to snap, Malleus, because it wouldn’t be the first time Silver got himself stuck in a corner, with Lilia terrorized of being unable to find his son. Then Malleus remembered he only needed to…turn his head around.

And Silver was there, sitting near his tail, his tiny hands reaching for it.

He couldn’t help but smile.

Silver had started, months ago, to play with his tail. He usually grabbed it, and then Malleus would proceed in lifting him up, slowly, with Silver then laughing happily of their new game. Perhaps, it was that moment, the very first Silver decided to have no shame and touch his tail, that they started bonding, and Malleus would then look forward a bit to his visits in the little house in the forest. 

“Who taught you how to pinch?” Malleus asked him, slowly spelling every word as Lilia told him to. 

Silver laughed at him, and tried again to get close to his tail.

But Malleus was wrong. Silver wasn’t pinching him. He was actually biting his tail, sinking his little fangs of his mouth in Malleus’ tail. Even thought those teeth weren’t as sharp as his, Malleus couldn’t help but violently move away his tail.

Silver rolled on the carpets, but the human cub wasn’t disturbed by the prince’s sudden movement. Actually, he tried to stand up on his wobbly legs, crawling towards him after only three steps. Nothing seemed able to stop him from biting Malleus’ tail.

“Don’t” Malleus warned him, moving his tail away when Silver reached it. The toddler giggled again, and started following him all around the house as Malleus stood up.

“This new game of yours is not very polite.”

Malleus sat on Lilia’s couch, sure that the climbing would be able to stop Silver from trying again. However, Silver was unstoppable. He kept moving, his shining eyes focused only on Malleus’ tail showing signs of Silver’s new little teeth.

Malleus was lucky, at least, that Lilia came back in that very instant.

“And what are we doing here?” Lilia pronounced with his baby tone, holding Silver in his arms.

Lilia looked at Silver first, and then at his prince, cornered in the couch like a scared cat.

“He’s biting me” Malleus explained briefly. And then Lilia bursted out laughing.

“Bless the Sevens! Your teeth are starting to show!” Lilia screamed in joy, and then started dancing with his little human in his arms.

“There’s a but” Lilia then stop, and looked at Silver with playful eyes “We don’t bite others’tails, do we? You’re in desperate need of a new toy.”

For a brief moment, Malleus’ tormented heart seemed to be able to rest a bit, as Lilia defended him. He stopped showing his tail, though, as Silver’s bites were pretty visible.

[fictionadventurer]

I keep thinking about Lewis' review of The Hobbit, because he claimed that the main thing contemporary reviewers compared it to was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Was fantasy in that poor of a state that Alice was the closest thing they could think of? Comparing that chaotic fever dream to Tolkien's intricately crafted world? Lewis does specify that the comparison is that both books are by an "Oxford professor at play", but they're otherwise so different that putting the two in the same category baffles me.

[captaincanonly]

this is not normal;…!!!! AUGAHAHHHHH LITTLE GUYS HAVE TAKEN OVER MY LIFE!!

part 1 part 3

[pilkypills]

[sapphoismymuse]

every now and then i remember golf is a canon sport in middle earth (possibly the only one ever mentioned?) and with this in mind, i think there aren’t enough golf-centric fics and art out there we need more

like imagine a retirement fic where bilbo and the other hobbits are teaching thorin how to play golf

or an erebor fic where bilbo brings golf to the mountain and teaches it to all the dwarves

the possibilities

[verkomy]

hobbits would love pierogi