#and there was nothing wrong with TikTok being here in the first place

[jaejoongs-nipple-piercing]

Went to open TikTok just now (out of curiosity to see if it still works), and I see this piece of crap message:

[arosebyan0thername]

If there are a million Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them. If there are only two Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them (Eva Noblezada is the other). If there are no Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, Eva Noblezada and I are dead 😔

[espinosaurusrexex]

Celeste

FallenAngel!BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader AU

summary: Heaven is not what they tell you. The celestials don’t live in harmony and the devil is not as far as you might think. He’s vicious in his ways to seduce every being - makes even the mighty fall from grace. And one of them happens to be your guardian angel. When James is banished from the heavens, he is forced to amend his sins on earth. What did he do wrong, you might ask? Well, he fell for the one he watched over.

a/n: I thought I’ve read a FallenAngel!Bucky fic on here before. But I couldn’t find it. So please, if you know it, tag me. Anyway, this is my take on the au.

word count: 20.3k (good lord, someone take my computer away)

warnings: this might offend some people (remember this is my fantasy world - I don’t know much about angels and the whole shebang), soulmate trope, the devil, also God?, jealousy/envy, mentions of killing and abuse, banishment and punishments, he falls first (literally lmao), fluff and wholesomeness, agony, angst (of course, with happy end!), smut (wingplay, Bucky‘s got heavenly dick, Virgin!Bucky, size kink, cum play) !MINORS DNI!

ﾟ✫ 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ｡✭･ﾟ✶ 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝐀𝐎𝟑 ✧*･ﾟ𝒄.𝒂𝒊 ｡✭･ﾟ

all image credit goes to @animarvelita on TikTok (there's more at the end)

James.

Wake up, James.

Wake up!

The wind hits his lashes before he opens his eyes. He’s falling. He’s falling and there’s nothing he can do. 

❁ ❁ ❁

It’s eerie outside, you note as your towel glides over the countertop. The entire window of the diner displays dark clouds. Dark clouds that will soon bring the heavy rain Old Lee has been mumbling about for days now. 

Not too many people believe what the crazy farmer says but you can’t help but notice how much he really understands of the world. 

Nick hits the little golden bell by the serving hatch and you take the fresh sandwiches to a table by the door. 

“Anything else I can get you?”

“We’re good, honey.”

You just nod as your eyes stay focused on the small parking lot outside. You wipe your hands on your apron and return to the counter when the first drop of rain hits the window pane.

❁ ❁ ❁

Branches are aching beneath his weight when he crashes through the trees. A deep thud echoes in the woods as his body hits the ground. It’s raining. 

Every tragedy needs rain.

❁ ❁ ❁

"Are you alright, dear?" Peggy, one of the regulars, a wise old lady, asks and points to your hand that's settled above your chest. 

You clear your throat. "I'm fine. Just a frog in my throat." You nod with a tight smile. Something seems to have knocked the air out of your lungs. But you've been feeling like you are coming down with something for a few days now. 

"Must be the weather," Howard comment's next to Peggy, and his newspaper crumbles beneath his touch. 

You turn and refill their coffee mugs. "Yeah... must be." But you can't shake the feeling it has brought to you. 

"It's always the weather." Peggy nods before the door to the diner opens and Old Lee enters, his muddy boots dirtying the checkered floors. You scrunch your nose. You'd be the one cleaning that up later, Scott surely won't do it. 

"This ain't a normal April storm, folks." His hat tips before he sits at the counter in front of you. "You look like you’ve been trampled by a cow.”

"It's just the weather," you say and place a cup of hot tea in front of him. That's just Stan: brutally honest and strangely right about everything. 

❁ ❁ ❁

Pain is strange. His feet get caught in the thorned bushes. Golden blood is the only evidence of his path.

And it’s slowly turning black.

❁ ❁ ❁

The storm outside intensifies, the rain hammering against the diner's windows with an unrelenting force. Old Lee's words linger in the air, stirring a sense of unease among the patrons. You glance outside, noticing the darkness creeping in as if it's swallowing everything in its path.

A shiver runs down your back as you remember how much Pietro would have loved this storm. Your mind drifts back to the memory of him. He always found solace in the chaos of nature, seeing beauty even in the fiercest storms.

But he's is gone now, lost to you in a way that is irreversible. The ache in your chest intensifies as you try to push away the memories, focusing instead on your tasks at hand.

Stan’s voice is low and gravelly when he murmurs again. "You can't outrun the storm, kid. It's coming for all of us, whether we're ready or not."

His words are chilling, but you shake it off, forcing a smile as you refill his tea. 

"We'll weather this storm just like we always do." Peggy chimes in as her hand lands on yours with her calming touch. But your heart is hammering in your chest, still. Something feels off. As if a piece fell out of place, waiting to be discovered, and raving to make a mess. 

❁ ❁ ❁

It’s cold and muddy here, no comfort in sight. But he’ll venture on until he reaches you. His soul is pulled to your very presence. 

He needs to find you. Needs to amend his wrongs. Though is it really wrong to love?

❁ ❁ ❁

It’s dark out when you hang your apron in your locker and wave a short goodbye to Nick. Pulling your coat tightly around you in an attempt to brace yourself for the wind, you step outside into the deluge. The rain lashes against your skin, soaking you to the bone on your walk through deserted streets and cold concrete. 

You sigh thinking about everyone that made it home dry, probably sitting in their beds right now, watching the rain roll down their window pane with a hot cup of cocoa in hand. 

But that seems to postpone itself, you realize as you abruptly halt. You look around. This isn’t your usual route home. But something pulled you off your intended path and toward an unfamiliar alleyway. Confusion mingles with a strange sense of anticipation as you find yourself drawn deeper into the darkness. 

Your head is screaming at you. This is dangerous. You shouldn’t be doing this. Why are your feet moving anyway?

And then you see it. Or rather... him?

A figure stands at the end of the alley, obscured by shadows and rain, but there's something about him that sets your heart racing.

"Hello?" you call out tentatively, your voice barely audible over the storm. You hate how weak you sound. 

He steps forward into the dim light, his features illuminated by a flickering streetlamp. Dark hair and a strong yaw, wide muscular shoulders, his arms are adorned by silver cuffs. His whole being is well over six feet. But he seems even taller as something wide reaches from behind him, almost hugging his shoulders and prodding up towards the sky. He steps forward again and your breath hitches in your throat when you can finally make out the grey feathery wings standing from behind his back.

But you don’t run. You don’t even stumble back. Your feet are frozen to the ground. Then his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, time seems to stand still as you’re caught in the intensity of his gaze. 

“I’ve been searching for you,” he says, his voice almost like a whisper to the wind. Calling and marvelous. 

Everything inside you tells your how absurd this situation is. How fast you should be running anywhere but here right now. But the way your heart races doesn’t feel like fear. In fact, you’re not even scared. More fascinated, awestruck, intrigued. You know he wont hurt you. 

“I don’t know you.” You manage to stammer, your eyes still locked with his. The tension overwhelming and electrifying all at once.

“That should be obvious.” He points to his wings smiling amused, a smile that you know holds a universe of secrets and promises. You want to learn them all, you catch yourself thinking as your eyes slip to his lips. 

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to understand,” he replies and it’s the first time his wings move behind him. “Just trust that we are connected in ways you cannot even begin to imagine.”

“Well?” You clear your throat and cross your arms in front of your chest, relieved your body is able to move again, though the pose feels rather awkward. “Why are you here?”

He seems shocked for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected you to play along so fast. And, to be honest, neither did you... at least a little. 

“I need to...” His mouth falls shut again and he turns his head down to the side, shoulders heaving. “I guess I need a place to stay.”

“With me?” That’s insane. You know it is. But why does it not surprise you? 

He nods, you shake your head. “I cant just accommodate a...” You gesture to him and he clears his throat awkwardly. 

“Angel.”

“Right, of course.” You chuckle as you scan his body again. Only now do you see the torn clothes and bloody feet. Drenched through and through. 

You sigh. “I don’t even know your name...” 

His eyes are sparkling, the smallest of twitches making him look a little softer, tangible even. You’re not afraid of him. And it messes with your head. You should be scared, right? But all there is in your body is the steady tingle pinging from your heart back to your stomach. 

“It’s James.” His smile is handsome when he reaches out his hands, offering you a better look to his toned arms.

Whywhywhy? “Alright.” 

❁ ❁ ❁

James looks out of place in your rather small living room. His size dwarves every piece of furniture carefully picked out to make your house a home. He makes it look like a doll house just by standing in it. 

But he doesn’t seem to care. James ducks when he passes through the door and you watch his feathers ruffle as they press themselves to his back in order to fit through. 

You’re not sure what to do. Never in your life did you think you would end up in a situation like this. There is no protocol for hosting celestial beings. Though a how to angel dinner party guide would come in handy now. Did he even eat?

Something must be wrong with you. You let a total stranger into your house, even though your track record of people skills is not exactly the best. One that is borderline freakishly tall and has wings. Wings that look soft and beautiful. But strong and kind of intimidating as well. But why does he feel so safe?

“You’re staring.” James notes and a handsome grin spreads across his face. 

“I’m not really used to having angels in my house to be honest.” The sarcasm is dripping from your tone in subtle undertones. But James seems to enjoy it. “Why are you here? On earth... I mean.”

He stares at the ceiling and his wings sag a little. “I have a mission, dearest.” He tells and his eyes meet yours. They’re deep blue and stormy - just like the sky. You can see yourself falling lost in them. His presence is all-consuming, making you shiver. It reminds you that the both of you are drenched from the rain. A puddle has formed around your feet and James’s wings guide the water droplets to your hardwood floor in two perfect circles. His hair is curling at the ends, in the nape of his neck and the water is also running down his throat, pooling in the remains of his shirt. 

“What mission?”

“I cannot tell you yet.” 

You nod, even though you don’t understand. But you don’t want to pressure him. “Do you need a shower? Or... clean clothes?” The second you ask you feel stupid. It’s silly right? Why shouldn’t angels shower? 

Then again, the way he looks at you is one of surprise. “Yes, that would be good.” 

“Good. Yes.” With a sigh you flee through the hallway to your room in search for some clothes. 

❁ ❁ ❁

A shower. James is giddy. Human things have always excited him. He has been watching from the heavens for eons, never truly experienced them quite like this. But he’s intrigued. Especially when you offer them to him like he’s not an intruder in your life. 

If things were different, you would never know he even existed. But James is guilty of happiness that he gets to meet you in person. 

Up close, you’re even more perfect. You smell nice, your home feels cozier than anything he’s ever experienced, and your voice sounds just a sliver more comforting when its directed at him. 

He is smiling like a fool, standing in your living room - the one he knows by heart but so much more personal now. And when you return to him with a pile of grey cloth, his heart skips a beat. You bring him the familiar warmth that made him fall in the first place. But having you within an arm’s length makes all of it feel worth it. 

There is not an ounce of regret in him for being here.

Electricity shoots up his arm when you touch his hand. It’s cold and wet - he immediately vows to always keep you warm from now on - makes it his purpose to have you be comfortable for the rest of your life. 

You lead him to the bathroom, grinning sheepishly when you gesture toward your shower. 

“It might be a tight squeeze.” You point at the glass surrounding your bathtub. “But it’s all I can offer.”

“It will do just fine.” He reassures you. 

“I will leave you to it then.” James is confused.

“Are you not staying?”

“Sorry?”

“To help me.”

“Help you... shower?” There is hesitance in your tone, but James truly doesn’t know how to turn the thing on.

“Well, yes.”

“I...” Your eyes are big, staring up at him through surprise and nervousness. “I don’t want to intrude. Give you some privacy to- oh.”

His clothes are already on the floor. He knows this much. Shower is something one does naked. But you seem to be shocked when his whole body is revealed to you. Do you like it? James is sure he looks as close to a human as a person with wings can. So why are you still staring at his stomach?

His eyes catch yours as they move a little lower, your eyebrows raising just that much higher and a smirk places itself on his face. So, you do like what you see. He confirms silently. Not that he particularly knows why. He never noticed people by their bodies - only their soul, because that is the important thing - the one that never changes. 

And yours is the most enchanting of them all. 

❁ ❁ ❁

You watch as James sit’s down on the opposite end of the sofa. He’s declined every offer you have made for him to feel a little more welcome. But he seems content. His smile hasn’t left his lips ever since you led him to the bathroom.

You couldn’t help but notice his body when he revealed it all  to you. It’s like every inch of him is carved by the gods. He looks soft in the right parts, strong enough not to be skinny with his height. And his male parts. Well, they look more than satisfactory. 

You felt like a pervert staring him up and down while he stood there with this kind of proud innocence to him, wondering if he understood how proud he could be of his looks. There is so much you don’t know about him. It’s not like you haven’t talked. 

You have. But he speaks in riddles. 

“You are staring again.” James notes and you immediately snap your head elsewhere. 

“I’m just figuring this situation out, I guess.”

He smiles encouragingly. “You can ask questions. I imagine you’ve been eager to know more.”

You exhale long, taking courage to look him in the eyes. “And you will answer all of them honestly?”

“Honestly, yes.” His teeth find his bottom lip and you squeeze your thighs together.  “I cannot promise to answer them all.”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

A comfortable silence settles between you as you think of the first thing you could ask him. Maybe you should get the most obvious one out of the way. Maybe you should ask him more about himself, though you’re not sure how personal he can get if he spent his entire life in heaven. You just assume there is too much to do to pursue actual hobbies and such. 

“Is there a God?”

“Starting with the light questions, I see.” You just look at him with intrigue. Already lining up all the other questions no-one else in this world has the opportunity to have answered. James sighs and then nods. “Yes, God exists.”

“Do you know God?”

He hesitates, his eyes fleeting to the end of the room and then back to you. “Yes.”

“Why did that answer take you so long?”

His jaw tenses and his eyes find the floor as if he was cursing himself for offering this situation. But then again, you haven’t heard him cuss once. Maybe you’re wrong. “It was under rather... unfortunate circumstances.” 

You nod as if you understand. But you can only imagine. “So, he’s like the big boss, only getting involved when things escalate?”

James looks caught, his wings draw in closer. After a moment, he clears his throat and his feathers ruffle with a small shake. “First of all, it’s she/they. And second, ... I guess you could say that, yes.”

“I knew it.” You grin as the pride washes over you at this information. “Why did she never correct us?”

“Let’s just say mankind doesn’t have a great track record of enforcing things that go against their believe... Not that it would be believable if someone told the story of meeting an angel who told them God is a woman.”

“Fair point. That person would have probably been burnt alive.” You nod again, crossing your legs and turning to him on the sofa. James takes a moment to rake his eyes over your body, making you feel tingles all over. You clear your throat. “Speaking of torture... Why do we have war and world hunger?”

“Please do not take this the wrong way. Those are issues that very much concern God or anyone that want’s the best for her people, but she’s busy. She manages everything else that has gone south since.”

“Since what?” You partly enjoy the way James talks to you as if you are an insider, but you only understand half of what he’s saying. 

“Since she and Lucifer had a big fallout.” He shrugs, but it just adds to your confusion.

“I’m not following.”

He rolls his eyes as if it were your fault you don’t know about this supernatural fight. “They had a disagreement. Lucifer’s response to God’s proposal was an ill-conceived frivolity which ended up becoming the patriarchy.” 

To say you’re stunned is a serious understatement. “You’re telling me the devil threw a tamper tantrum and that’s why we have inequality? How did he even do that?”

James shakes his head. “...Yes. The trial is still in progress. But it may be calming to know that we have not figured out exactly how he convinced an entire species of males being the stronger part of it.”

“No, James. It is not calming to know.” You sigh and watch as he clasps his hands in his lap, his cuffs glistening in the lamplight. God, they’re big. You immediately scold yourself for thinking this, feeling weirds as the words of your mother echo in your head ‘Don’t you dare use God’s name in vain’. “What exactly has God done since then?”

The smile returns to his face and you readjust yourself on the sofa. “Oh, you wouldn’t want to know how this world would look if she hadn’t kept busy with sorting it.”

Your nose wrinkles in a frown, as you check the points off in your head. “I really don’t think it can get that much worse. Climate change, mass genocides, what else could there be?” You nod at each one just as James lifts up his fingers and opens his mouth as if he is starting to count. 

But you stop him. “Please don’t.”

“Yes, that is probably for the best.”

It is silent for a moment as you try to process all the information you have just attained. It is a rather weird feeling. Knowing you know what no-one else on earth does and not being able to tell. Knowing there will be no-one believing you. 

You sigh when your head starts spinning from how crazy this day has been. James seems to be rather relaxed considering he barely knows you. His dark hair falls around his face perfectly, the back of it forming a cute curl in the nape of his neck and your fingers itch to touch it.

But you refrain, reminding yourself that he is a stranger - and an angel. Beside the fact that he has not once reached out to you, just randomly touching his hair would probably be the weirdest thing to do right now. 

“Can I ask you something?” He suddenly breaks the silence and you shoot a thank you to the sky for saving yourself from going down the mental rabbit hole of how soft his hair looks. 

“Yes.”

“Why did you take me in?” James’s eyes are boring into yours so innocently. If it weren’t for the giant wings on his back, he would almost look like a normal clueless and incredibly cute guy. And yet he just revealed outerworldly gossip as if you were discussing the latest celebrity TMZ. 

“I-“ you trail off, thinking about it for a while. You aren’t sure how much you can tell him. But James has been genuine from the start. It wold only be fair to do the same. “I felt like you needed me.”

A weird feeling takes over your body suddenly. Like a warm flush rushing through you. James fidgets in your peripheral and nods in understanding. “I did. I do.”

It’s like the reality of it all hits you like brick when a noise sounds from outside and his wings twitch, pushing over a pile of books on the cupboard behind the sofa. This is not normal, something tells you, and yet your stomach flutters in a way that feels a lot like butterflies. Everything about James is fascinating to you. You constantly fight the urge to reach out and brush your fingertips over every part of him. And for some reason, your mind tries to tell you that he would let you. 

“Why are you really here, James?” You voice is only a whisper when the rattling outside subsides. It’s probably a raccoon or something. But James looks a little nervous all of a sudden. 

“I’m afraid that is one thing I cannot tell you, love.”

You sigh. “I guess... I just want to help. Having you stay here doesn’t feel like it’s enough. There has got to be something you need to do.”

“That is very kind of you. I admire your bravery and openness.” His lips spread into a smile, his hand lifting from his lap as if he is about to place it on yours, but his fingers only strech and land back on the sofa between you. “But to be truthful, even if I knew what I had to do, I am not sure wether I would do it or not”

So he is a little deviant. You smile at the small observation. Maybe it’s the reason he is here in the first place. But you feel like you have asked James enough for tonight. Just on cue, a yawn escapes your lips. 

“You should rest. It has been a long day.” 

You nod, rubbing your eyes and rising from the soft cushions. “I have a spare bedroom. You can sleep there.”

“That is fine. I do not sleep.” James shakes his head as he rises with you out of curtesy. With his hands clasped in front of him he looks like a goth painting. 

“What? Never?”

“I am not human, dearest. My body attains energy in different ways.” You shudder again, blaming it on your sleepiness as you rub your arms when another yawn escapes you. 

“Maybe you can tell me about it tomorrow. I am really tired.”

“I will be watching over you.” Your name passes his lips like a song, sending another shiver through you. What the hell is the matter with you. You huff as you catch yourself again. It really never occurred to you how often you referenced to the supernatural... “Take all the rest you can get.”

“Good night, James.” You nod and wave awkwardly.

“Good night.”

You know James’s eyes are only you until you disappear into the hallway. But you cant help but feel safely watched over with him around. 

❁ ❁ ❁

They will find him, and they will send him further from you than he ever was.

❁ ❁ ❁

James hates the days you have to leave for work. He watches you with a sense of longing and resignation, knowing that he must find a way to navigate this separation once again. Though it is necessary he find a way to dodge the inevitable.

It’s the vexing thing about the celestial kingdom. They always leave one to find the laws on their journey. There is no book he could read on earth that could help him here. But he has seen the repercussions of disobedience, felt the weight of his transgressions bearing down on him like a heavy chain.

And yet, as he watches you prepare to leave for work, a sense of desperation gnaws at him from within. He wants to reach out, to beg you to stay, to keep you safe from whatever dangers may lurk beyond the safety of your home.

But he knows he can't. He's bound by duty, by the laws of God that dictate his every move. And so, with a heavy heart, he watches silently as you gather your things and head out the door, leaving him alone once more.

As the door closes behind you, James is left with nothing but the echoes of your footsteps fading into the distance. He knows he should use this time wisely, to prepare for whatever trials may lie ahead, but his thoughts are consumed by you, by the overwhelming need to protect you at all costs.

❁ ❁ ❁

There’s and angel in your home. And he’s so freaking attractive, it’s unfair. 

It has been a week since you found James. And despite the incredibly irrational decisions of yours to invite him into your home, nothing bad has happened to you. Sure, the first night you might have dreamt about him. He’s everything your fantasy books described an more. And you couldn’t help but let that tiny romantic sliver of you hope for the more. 

But James is more pious than any catholic boarding school kid you’ve ever met. 

He seems to enjoy a good joke and he’s quite confident. But he never once touched you. And while that should not be one of your first concerns, considering he’s a stranger and an angel, something inside you tells you he’s holding back. 

He never even flinches when you reach out to him. And the longing stares he sends your way make you shiver with anticipation. Yet there is no attempt to ever pull you in - even though you are so sure you were sending signals. 

Maybe there are no signals in heaven. What are you even saying? Of course there are no signals in heaven. You don’t even believe dating exists up there. 

“Yo, whaddup with ya today? I’ve been calling your name for a solid minute.”

“Sorry. Feeling a little off today,” you mumble to Nick and retrieve the food waiting in the serving hatch. 

“You can’t go home. I don’t wanna serve alone today.”

“Scott, there’s literally no-one here.” You gesture toward the few people sitting in their booths and sigh. “Besides, I never said I was going home.” 

“Don’t get mad. You barely texted me back this week. What’s so awesome about your home when I’m not there with you?” You feel the heat rising to your head at Scott’s comment. “You’d think she’d call me if she ever needed to hide something.” He mumbles to Nick who just laughs and flips a pancake. 

You turn to him with your fists by your side. “The weather is weird and cold, can’t I need a little down time?”

“Not from me!” Scott looks baffled. He’s your friend, and yes, you had other things to worry about than be on your phone this week. But you also knew he wouldn’t understand.

“You’re being a real pain in my ass today, Scotty.”

“Good, so everything’s back to normal then.”

You throw a towel in his face. “Shut up.”

“Cut it out, you two, there’s customers.”

Scott resumes to the back, effectively dodging his work and leaving you to serve the new customer. But your breath hitches in your throat when you look up from the counter.

James is standing in the door, already drawing looks of attention from a few people. He’s smiling back at them, even waving at a child before his eyes meet yours and your heart sets off again. It seems to always do that when he’s close. 

You rush toward him, wrapping your fingers around his cuffed wrist and he audibly exhales. 

“You can’t be here.”

“Why not?”

“Because-“ you lean in closer and James bows down to get his face to your level. “You’re and angel.” You mutter under your breath and the sexy smile returns to his perfect lips. 

“And how would they know that?” His eyebrow raises. 

“You-“ you lean back, examining his shoulders - only then noticing that his wings are not there anymore. “How?”

“I only show myself to truly important people.” He winks and you stumble back a little, his sudden boldness making your legs feel like jello. 

“What are you doing here?” 

James looks around the diner as though he has not planned this far. His eyes swerve to the counter and then back to you. “I want to watch you work. I enjoy spending time with you.”

“But you can’t be here without ordering.”

“Then I will oder.”

“You don’t eat, James. Do you even have money?”

That seems to surprise him. “No.” You shake your head and look at the tiled floor. James’s wrist is still wrapped in your hand but there is no attempt to hold you. So you drop it. Why did he even come here when he won’t touch you?

“Please, beautiful. Let me stay.” His eyes are genuine, his lips purse in a plea. All you can think about is how weirdly lucky you are that this Adonis of a being chose you for his quest. 

You bite your lip and watch him shudder. “Alright. Just sit by the counter and try to be inconspicuous.”

His smile spreads wide. “I’ll be as invisible as the air you breathe.”

You exhale and get back to work but unfortunately, his promise doesn’t last long. Before you know it, Peggy has chosen the seat right beside James. She’s leaning over to him at the counter and Howard just sits beside them with his newspaper in hand - as always. James seems just as invested in the conversation as Peggy and as you steal glances over to the pair of them, insistently hoping he won’t spill about his identity, you catch James’s eyes lingering on you. 

“You are a fine young man, James.” Peggy's hand lands on his, tapping it in a grandmotherly manor, though her eyes are glinting with something akin to longing. She whispers something into his ear you cant make out and James’s eyes shoot to yours, his face tinting rouge from one ear to the other. 

“And you are a remarkable lady, Peggy,” he clears his throat, his mind seemingly wandering elsewhere. “You remind me of a girl a friend of mine was in love with once.”

“Then he must have been the happiest man to ever live.”

Peggy’s hands tremble when she reaches for her cup of tea, her red lipstick taint the white porcelain as James watches her movements with a soft stare. He looks so protective of her, it makes your insides tingle. “He truly is, though he seems like he has forgotten about it lately. Is this your husband?” He gestures to Howard, who just slams the newspaper down in front of him, blank eyes staring at James while Peggy laughs and waves her hand dismissively. 

“This rascal?” She presses her hand to her chest as she tries to calm down. “No, dear. My husband died a long tome ago.” She smiles warmly, floating in melancholy when she continues, “I never loved another man since. He was a heaven sent. Strong, kind, always worked towards the greater good... and his looks were to die for, too.” She winks and James chuckles. 

“Oh I wish a love like that to everyone. Promise me something, James.” 

“Anything.”

“If your find it, never let it go.” Her hand clasps around his biceps, her tone a motherly sternness laced with affection. 

James eyes you again and it feels as if the air is shifting with tension. “My word is in God’s name, Peggy.”

❁ ❁ ❁

James feels the repercussions of his being on earth stronger every day. In heaven, he was miserable because he had to watch you live your life without him. On earth, he’s in agony because he knows, if he ever were to touch you, he would cease to exist.

It’s slanted. He gave up everything coming here and despite the fact that his wings stopped working the second he fell from the sky, he categorizes the uncertainty eating away at him as even worse. Hanging in limbo is more troubling than actually going to hell, he is sure of it. 

He watches you move about your house with the same longing look torturing his features since he realized how much he needed you. It’s laughable how dependent on you he has become. While you go about your life with the minor change of having a roommate, James despises the unforgeable distance heaven has created between you. 

You are friendly with him - you are friendly with everyone. James would even go as far as to say that you two are friends by now. But he wants so much more. So much more he cant tell you because even if you did know about his feelings, there is nothing either of you could do about it. 

James sighs standing from the sofa, ducking his head when he passes through the doorway to you. You never questions when he just follows you around. The soul bond probably keeping the curiosity at bay if it feels anything like his experience. It feels good for no explicit reason. 

You sort some bowls in your cabinet as he stands behind you, offering to place the ones higher up so you don’t have to struggle too much. “What’s heaven like, James?” You ask innocently through your movements. “Are there pearly gates and fluffy clouds?”

James loves when you say his name. It makes him feel closer to you than ever before. In a way, he equates it with your touch. Just as his saying your name is his way of reaching out to you. 

“More like endless paperwork and celestial coffee breaks.” Coffee breaks. He learned about those a while ago and he loves the concept. “But hey, the views are to die for.” He gets lost in your eyes, remembering how much more distant they felt when he was watching from above and he is thankful to be this close to you now.

You smile smugly, and thats when the heart race sets in again. He’s sure you feel it too. Because your eyes avert and your hand places itself atop your chest. 

You think something is wrong with you, he just knows it. It’s like the time you watched hours on hours of Gray’s Anatomy and then proceeded to research yourself into a frenzy about the sicknesses you might suffer. But James made sure then that there was not even a paper cut compromising you and he will do the same now, too.

He is desperate to tell you what it is you feel, that there is not much you can do and that he feels it ten times worse because he hates to see you suffer. But he needs to be careful about how much he reveals to you. 

“Oh my god, I’m getting paranoid,” you mutter to yourself and James smirks at your small slip up. He has noticed how you try to minimize your references in curses. It’s cute, really, because he knows how much you used to do it. It’s a little bit amusing, the small deviant trait of yours making him feel like he has found something in common with you and he’s almost proud of it.

You collect yourself, quickly, breathing in deeply and then turning around to him. “I have to run some errands today.” 

“Great, where are we going?” James asks with eagerness. Car rides excite him. He has always found them fascinating, but actually being in one is a whole new experience. 

You bite your lip and for once, James does not feel the familiar tingle in his stomach when you do so. There is sadness sitting in your eyes when you answer him. “Actually...” Your tongue darts out to wet your lip just for your teeth to dig into it again and an unfamiliar tightness travels through James’s body. “It is something I need to do by myself today. I hope that is okay.”

The angel nods vigorously, trying to ignore the pang in his chest. “Yes of course. I will leave you to it alone.” He steadies himself on the door frame and then heads to the living room where he grabs a book and settles on your window sill to look occupied. 

“It is nothing personal, James.” Your head dips from the doorway and he looks up. “It's just... it would be weird for you to be there.”

“I understand.” The way he adds your name to his answer makes him sick. But his body is feeling weird, not showing him the familiar signs of jealousy or anger he knows. It feels... warm and uncomfortable. 

“I will be back soon.” Your voice travels through the hallway and your footsteps along with it. James stares at the empty doorway for a while, his eyes shooting down to the book when you suddenly reappear. “Do you want anything from the store?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay.”

And then the door falls shut. But before James can get consumed by his loneliness, he puts the books down - something about an ice breaker - and heads outside to follow you. 

❁ ❁ ❁

But earth can be a lonely place. At least hell will welcome you with warmth.

❁ ❁ ❁

You didn’t lie. You were at the store. But now that you’re treading on the small path towards the grey cemetery walls, James feels the fear spread through his body like a slow and painful death. 

He’s hiding behind the trees closing around the park, watching you as you halt before a simple headstone. He can feel your mourning deep within his heart, tugging, yanking, pulling on the tiny strings that sting so effectively. His temple leans against the rough bark as his eyes trace your slow movements. You place a small bouquet of flowers on the soil before the engraved letters, resting your forehead on the gold stone. 

He can’t see it completely, but he knows you’re crying. You always do. Everything within him screams to reach out to you, to hold you and sway you until the world feels less taunting, but he knows how difficult it could make things. 

So, instead, he remains hidden, a silent sentinel in the shadows bearing witness to your sorrow from afar. He feels the weight of your tears as if they were his own, each drop a dagger to his soul and a reminder of the distance that separates him from you. 

And yet, even in the midst of your pain, there is a flicker of something else - resilience, determination, a quiet strength that refuses to be extinguished. It’s a testament to your spirit, a beacon of hope in the darkness that threatens to consume you both. 

As you linger before the headstone, lost in your memories and your grief, James feels a surge of admiration swell within him. Despite the pain you carry, you continue to preserve. 

“It’s really a shame you never have the balls to comfort her.” A voice whispers in his ear and James shoots around to be met with a redhead whose eyes stare daringly up at him. “Then again... I guess it would be kind of ironic, don’t you think?” 

“What are you doing here, Wanda?” All angels are made weary of Lucifer’s spawn. They are vicious and manipulating, carrying the pits of hell to places that least expect them and watch it all go up in flames as they stand laughing on the sidelines. 

James knows the demon standing before him. More than once have their paths crossed throughout time, but he is surprised to see her every time anew. He refuses to show any sign of weakness in her presence, knowing that to do so would only invite further manipulation.

Wanda chuckles darkly, her laughter echoing through the trees. “Oh, nothing much,” she muses with a wicked grin, pacing around James to take a closer look at him. “Just though I’d remind you of what you’re missing out on by playing the good little guardian angel. But who knows... maybe one of these days, you’ll finally grow a spine and take what you want.”

James clenches his jaw, struggling to maintain his composure in the face of Wanda’s relentless provocation. He knows better than to let her under his skin, but the demon’s words cut deep, striking at the heart of his insecurities. He feels the surge of frustration rising within him as his fists clench by his sides, the weight of his silver cuffs pressing against his wrists like chains. “I can’t,” he whispers, his voice barely above a whisper. “You know I can’t”

Wanda’s gaze narrows as her arms cross in front of her chest. “Can’t or won’t?” She counters, her voice tingling with an unspoken dare. 

James hesitates, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts and emotions. "I... I don't know," he admits finally. "But it doesn't matter. My duty lies with heaven, with protecting her. I can’t do that when I’m lost in the in-between.”

Wanda's eyes glitter with amusement as she takes a step closer, closing the distance between them with an unnerving grace. "And what if heaven isn't where you belong?" she whispers in a seductive purr as her fingers flick against his cuffs. The sound travels through the trees, making you turn and look around you. "What if your heart longs for something more, something... forbidden?"

A shiver runs down his spine, a sudden realization dawning within James. For so long, he has clung to the safety of his celestial duties, fearing the consequences of straying from the path laid out before him. But now, as he stands face to face with the embodiment of temptation itself again, he can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, heaven is not the place where he can truly flourish. 

“I don’t trust you, Wanda.” He admits genuinely, though the possibility of her words holding truth gnaws on his very soul.

“You shouldn’t.” She smirks devilishly, eyes flashing in a short glimmer of red and evil. “There will be consequences to disobeying celestial rules. But you will never find out if a life free of them would be more fulfilling to you if you don’t try.” She winks, setting uncertainty free within him. “Find me when you have made the right choice.”

As he watches Wanda disappear into the shadows, leaving him alone with his thoughts, James knows that he is standing at a crossroads—one that would determine the course of his destiny for eternity. And though the path ahead is uncertain and fraught with peril, he can't help but feel a glimmer of hope stir within him, a whisper of possibility that promises a future filled with love, and happiness, and the chance to finally be as close to you as he has always wished for.

❁ ❁ ❁

The night has broken over your small town by now. James has made it back with a conflicted heart before you came home from your errands. He knows you notice his silence as he normally enjoys to talk a lot to you. But you don’t say anything. 

He is just sitting quietly in the kitchen as he watches you make a cup of tea, wondering what it tastes like right before frowning at how scared he is to try a cup of hot water just because he doesn’t know what it would do to him. 

Wanda’s words come back to the forefront of his mind and the unease she instilled within his heart right alongside it. He has been longing to reach out to you for so long, has wanted to touch and comfort you in so many ways his mind began to spin. Especially after days like this, when you went to visit your brother’s grave. You would be crying yourself to sleep tonight. And you would get up tomorrow, wipe the sorrow from your eyes and continue to live your life as if nothing happened. Because you are strong and resilient. 

And James, even though he is finally present, is not able to offer you the solace you so desperately deserve. 

At least he thought so.

His eyes wander to the silver cuffs around his arms, feeling the weight and letting the subtle clink of them seep into his skull. He has never questioned why or how the rules of heaven applied to him. He never even thought about the consequences of breaking them until he felt the need to protect you. He never really cared until you became the most important thing in his life. 

Now, seeing the pain in your gaze, and feeling the guilt for being here, not soothing you gnaws on him, sending him back to a state in which he would kill to see you smile again. Free of fear and sorrow. 

You bite your lip when you settle on the chair across from his. Your eyes look dull, but James can’t help but think there is a question posed within them. Something desperate and restricted. Oh, how he would love to know what you’re trying to say. He is just too inexperienced with human interaction that he can get a read on everything just yet. 

James feels his heart picking up, knowing it beats in the same rhythm as yours, but he doesn’t dare speak, knowing his voice will betray him. Your tea cup is empty, your eyes tired, and he knows that this evening with you will end within seconds. 

“Good night, James.” You finally say, following the small ritual you have established with him as you wave at him weakly. 

Normally, he says it back. Normally, he guides you to the bedroom and closes your door promising to watch over you in silence. Normally, he doesn’t have a demon’s words ringing in his ears. 

But today, something feels different. As you gather your things and head towards your bedroom, a sudden surge of determination courses through him. He can't bear the thought of being separated from you, even for a moment longer.

With a sense of reckless abandon, and the words of Wanda hanging in his mind James makes a daring decision. Ignoring the warnings echoing in his every being, he reaches out to you, his touch barely grazing your shoulder as you turn to leave.

In that fleeting moment of contact, something shifts. A spark ignites between you, a connection so powerful and undeniable that it defies explanation. Time seems to slow as you both freeze, caught in the throes of a bond that transcends the boundaries of heaven and earth.

For a heartbeat, everything hangs in the balance, the air crackling with electricity. And then ...nothing happens. 

There is no rush of wind and light that makes him disappear, leaving behind only the echo of his presence lingering in the empty space between. There is nothing else welcoming him in wrath or absolute nothingness or whatever is supposed to happen if a celestial ever dared to touch a mortal.

He opens his eyes that he had shut tight without noticing. And you’re still here. In front of him, staring at his hand that is softly wrapped around your wrist. His mind is struggling to make sense of what just happened - or rather what didn’t. It was all a hoax. 

James feels rage bubble within him. And as you stand there, alone in the quiet stillness of the room, touching. He counts yet another reason why heaven was never where he belonged.

A single tear rolls down his cheek when he pulls you into his body and wraps his arm around you tightly. His heart beats violently, pumping the anger of knowing how much time he wasted not being close to you through his body. His wings follow close behind, sealing you into his warmth and creating a space just for you and him. It’s as if you are made for him. Your body tugs perfectly beneath his feathery white wings and he knows he’ll hold you like this for eternity. 

❁ ❁ ❁

He’s touching you. 

James is touching you. No, actually, he’s consuming you with his whole being, pulling you into the best hug you have ever received. His wings wrap around you protectively, engulfing you into his scent entirely. It’s earthy, and clean, and... heavenly. 

You chuckle slightly as your cheek presses to his chest, your head barely reaching his collar bone, but it just makes you feel enclosed by his presence from all around. You heart beats just as rapidly as his and you exhale in content as you realize that you’re not the only one feeling this connection. 

You don’t know what changed. Maybe you are not as good as hiding your sadness as you think you are. Or maybe there is a whole other reason behind this angel guarding you into the most loving hug you have ever experienced. But fact is, you needed it today more than ever. 

And James knew ...because he strangely knows so much about you. He feels familiar without trying and it is a weirdly comforting thing to experience. Especially after all you have been through. 

Hesitantly, and almost sorrowfully, you pull away from his warm chest. His wings loosen around you, his arms leaving just enough space for you to lean back and stare into those azure blue eyes of his. He’s beautiful up close. Long lashes frame his loving stare as his mouth tugs into a smile, taking yours right with it. 

“You touched me.” You say in awe as James’s eyebrows slightly raise. “You thought I didn’t notice, but I did.” 

There is a steak silence as his gaze travels over your face then roams his arms that are still holding you tightly close to him. “Should I not be touching you?” He asks carefully.

You can feel his hands retreating but you pull him right in before they’re gone. “I was just wondering when you would.” You snuggle back into his shirt and his hands cradle your head to him. “Is it embarrassing to say I’ve wanted you to do it for a while now?”

“Not embarrassing at all.” His chest rumbles with a chuckle. “I’ve wanted to do it even before then. I just didn’t know if I could.” The last part is a mere whisper that dissipates in your hair when his mouth presses to it in a feather light brush. 

A rush of warmth floods through you, filling every corner of your being with a sense of belonging you've never known before. Time seems to stand still, the world falling away until there is nothing left but the two of you, entwined in each other's arms.

"You've wanted to touch me?" you murmur, the words slipping out before you can stop them, a confession born of the unspoken longing that has lingered between you for far too long.

James's gaze softens, his fingers trailing gently along the curve of your cheek as he meets your eyes with a look of quiet intensity. "More than you could ever know," he replies. "But I feared the consequences.”

“What consequences?” James shakes his head as his thumb still lingers on your skin. 

“I don’t know.” You reach up to cup his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing against his cheekbones as you search his eyes again. It was stupid of you to assume he didn’t touch you because he didn’t like you. He was probably scared of what would happen if angels ever dared. The look in his deep blues tells you how worried he was. How long he withheld for the sake of dodging the unknown. 

“It’s not bad, is it?” You hand travels across his chest, feeling the muscles tense in its wake. “Touching.” 

James's breath catches in his throat, his heart pounding against his chest as he gazes down at you with a mixture of awe and reverence. And once again, you would love to know what is happening inside his brain. 

With a trembling hand, James cups your face in his palm, his touch gentle yet possessive as he leans in to press his forehead to yours. You cant help but feel that there is something keeping him from you, still. 

“Let me stay with you tonight, my beloved.” His fingers tighten around your face ever so slightly. “Let me hold you and keep you safe.”

“Safe from what?” You ask in a trance as your fingers bury in his hair and you play with the thought of pressing your lips to his. But he has taken so long to hug you. You don’t want him to be overwhelmed. 

“Anything.” He whispers back and closes his eyes. A whole new warmth consumes you when his words seep in, blanketing you in cherish and admiration. If this is what being appreciated feels like, you will fight to keep the feeling forever. 

“Okay.”

❁ ❁ ❁

Oh how much the celestials have lied. Flying is nothing compared to this. 

❁ ❁ ❁

As you bustle about the diner, taking orders and refilling coffee mugs with practiced ease, Peggy sits at her usual spot at the counter, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she watches you work.

"Something on your mind, Peggy?" you ask with a smile, setting down a plate of pancakes in front of a hungry customer.

Peggy leans in closer, her voice low and conspiratorial. "I couldn't help but notice that smile of yours, dear," she says with a knowing wink. "It's positively radiant today. Dare I say, it's almost as if you've got a secret?"

You chuckle, feeling a flush of warmth spread across your cheeks at her observation. “Hmm, I don’t know,” you reply coyly, unable to suppress the grin that tugs at the corners of your lips as you tab your finger against them. “What makes you think I’d share it with you?”

“Well, I am a loyal customer for one...” She pauses as she thinks of another point. “And I am old enough to think the secret dies with me." Peggy presses, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“Please, you know the entire town.” You laugh and Peggy waves her hand dismissively, though there is a proud smirk on her red lips. 

Before she can respond, a voice cuts through the air like a knife, sharp and tinged with bitterness. "What's all this about smiles and secrets?”

You turn to see Old Lee leaning against the counter with a grim expression. His worn-down straw hat flops over his eyes, making him look even more grumpy than usual.

"It's nothing, Stan," you reply, trying to defuse the tension with a forced smile. "Just some friendly banter."

Old Lee’s eyes narrow slightly. "Friendly banter, huh? You're squawking like a bunch of chickens in a henhouse."

Peggy rolls her eyes, clearly unimpressed by Stan's attitude. "Oh, hush up, Stan," she scolds, waving a dismissive hand in his direction. "Can't you see we're having a moment here? This is girl talk. Go and drink your tea like the grumpy old man you are.”

Old Lee shakes his head in response but wisely chooses to turn back to his drink. “We all know how the last time she came in here with a smile that big turned out.” Old Lee grumbles searching your eyes once more. “The frogs're telling me we’ll have another rain comin’ soon. You better be careful, sweetheart.”

You share a conspiratorial look with Peggy, either of you not sure wether to believe him or not. Stan is not one for sappy love stories, but he certainly hits the nail on the head with his predictions every time. His bold hint towards the last big death this town suffered glides off his tongue like a Sunday prayer and it ripples down your spine in ice-cold peaks. 

“That is in the past. Right now, I really am hoping we are talking about the charming gentleman I talked to the other week. He certainly is a sight for sore eyes.” Peggy’s eyes sparkle as Old Lee huffs into his cup.

She winks back at you and the smile returns to your lips, along with the giddy feeling you get when James is called into your mind. But before you can respond, the diner door swings open, signaling the arrival of another customer and putting an end to your conversation—for now, at least.

❁ ❁ ❁

A noise calls from the back of your house right before the sun starts its journey in the sky. You don’t wake as James tries to stir carefully with his arms still holding you tightly. He was not sleeping - he doesn’t need sleep, but he still feels groggy from the warm and comforting night being ripped away with the sound. 

It piques another time and now, James is sure, someone is trying to get inside. Within minutes he is out of bed, checking the window and then closing the door to your bedroom on his way to the back. 

He is ready to protect you at all costs, eager to show you how much you mean to him, but when he sees a touch of white beyond the window and hears the familiar rustling of feathers that accompany it, it only takes him a second to realize who has come to intrude your peace. 

Two men - angels - just as tall has James litter the kitchen once he opens the door and pulls them inside with both hands. Samuel, the one standing a little to the side, brushes his clothes off once he comes to a stand again, watching James with amusement and curiosity. “I see you haven’t changed much, James. A simple ‘hello’ would have been just fine.” He crosses his arms before his chest, his wings shaking the dowry rain from their feathers and right onto your kitchen floor. 

“Why are you here?” His eyes search those of Steven - a friend of his but also an angel ranking higher than James ever will.

“You know why we’re here.” He steps closer once he has composed himself again. “You are testing the heavens.” 

James huffs, feeling the anger rise inside him. If anything, heaven was testing him. So he goes on to ignore the blonde angel before him, willing his heart to calm at all the frustration accumulating at once. “Did you know it was a lie?” James starts instead. His voice is strained when he thinks of all the times he refrained from touching you just to keep you safe. “Just a way to keep us from initiating contact?” 

Steven doesn’t say anything and Samuel’s stare meets that of James again. Steven shows little remorse, the pride on display now more than usual. The supposed betrayal James has caused is nothing to the sting boring into his soul by the very man standing in font of him. Steven is cold, distant - when he should be a friend.

“I should have known.” James shakes his head. “Your duties have always placed higher than your friendships.”

“That is because duties are the most valuable virtue God can give.” Steven finally says and his jaw ticks angrily. 

James could never imagine being more loyal to a system placing as many restrains as heaven does. Not when he knows how good the real world can feel. How precious it is to smell flowers and hold the one you love in your arms well into the night. 

“You came here with a mission, James. And since your fall, you have done nothing but frolic throughout this place with your very own human.” Samuel is eerily still behind the broad blonde spitting one accusation after the other. But James decides not to comment on it just yet. 

“It is far more than that,” he rasps feeling the protectiveness flood his body. 

“We know. That is why you are here in the first place.” 

“What am I supposed to do, Steven?” James tries to keep his voice low, but his frustration is too great. Steven should be the one to understand better than anyone else. But he seems to have locked that part of him far away right now. “How can I amend a sin that is irreversible?!”

“Every sin can be amen-“ Steve’s eyebrows raise and Samuel’s eyes flickers from James and focuse behind him. That is when his heart beat picks up again. And as much as he loves you, he wishes with all his being that you are not standing behind him right now.

“Please, no.” He mutters and turns just to have you approach from the hallway with tired eyes. 

“What is happening? Who are you?” Your voice sounds sleepy, a hand rubbing over your face before you find yourself by James’s side.

“Angels.” He bites his lips, contemplating for a moment but deciding that you deserve to hear what is happening in your own home. A home he hopes to be part of forever. Besides, with Steven here, there is no ending this conversation without confusing you more. “They want me to abandon you.” The bitterness is evident in his tone. But he regrets it as soon as he catches the stutter in your heart.

“What?” It’s all you say, but the way you do breaks his collected facade. 

“James-“

“What do I have to loose, Steven?” his arms open wide. "They already cast me out. They took my freedom, they took it all.” His wings barely shake, just emphasizing his statement. 

Steve steps closer, causing you to slightly shove yourself behind James, his arm reaching around you, just not touching yet. ”But there is still a chance to redeem yourself.”

“What if I don’t want it?” James bites back. 

“Don’t act rash, James. Think about this.“

“I have.” Long and hard. Every night he holds you, he has enough time to do so. And he has come to the conclusion that nothing compares to having you this close to him... and only him.

“You know of the punishment placed for sinners who do not attempt to right their wrongs.” Steven is seething beneath the surface, James can tell. But he tries to stay professional. He can try all he wants. James has already made a decision. 

“What is he talking about?” Your voice takes him back to your presence. Your hands sneak around his forearm and hand, to which his body responds like a reflex. His fingers squeeze yours, his body seeks the heat of yours. Samuel looks at the interaction curiously, Steven settles for a disapproving taunt.

“I lose my wings. I lose heaven.” James explains to you, watching as your eyes open wider in shock. 

“What?” There is so much more behind your astound answer. What does this mean for us?

“James is banished from the heavens temporarily already.” Steven’s voice drips with authority, making you stiffen beside him. James hates it. And he doesn’t hate much. 

“Why?” You’re too soft for this, too fragile to take another betrayal so soon. He has just gotten started and he already feels you drifting away. Your eyes are glassy when you turn to Steven. “What could have possibly been so bad that you ended up here?” 

“You didn’t tell her?” Sam breaks his silence. The surprise is written all over his face just to be replaced by confusion when James utters his name in warning. 

“Tell me.” It seems as though his eyes switch between everyone in the room, trying to warn them all of what will happen if they take his opportunity of telling you himself.

“James is not just any angel.”

“Steve, stop it.” 

“He is your guardian angel.”

It all happens too fast. A look to Samuel tells him there is no ending this. Steven won’t stop until he has tried his all to have you turn from James. 

“And he committed the worst sin of them all.” You look shocked and expectant. The grip on James’s hands grows tighter with every syllable leaving Steven’s mouth. And James is silently cursing the angel in front of him “He killed a man... for you.” 

You stumble back and James catches you only to earn a warning glare from Steven and Samuel. 

“Brock,” you whisper and it sounds like the single word has taken the entire air out of your system.

Lighting brightens your house over the stifled morning gleam and thunder sounds dangerously in the distance. You’re flinching, though searching James’s eyes as he steadies you back on your feet. 

“You cant do this forever, James.”

“And what if I try?” He turns fully. “What if I would rather get myself killed than come back to heaven?”

“He wouldn’t” Steve is heaving, but Sam steps forward, Laying a hand on the blonde’s shoulder in an attempt to soothe his rage. “The soul bond affects her just as it does him.”

“What does that mean?” It’s barely a screech when you interrupt them again. Turning to James and tugging at his shirt, you convey the frustration of being kept in the dark through your features. “What does it mean, James?”

He sighs, shaking his head and then closing his eyes - hoping to escape this conversation. But it is happening. “It means, if I die... you will die, too. A soul need replace that of a guardian one.”

At this point, James questions his sanity. How could he have not realized the twisted ways of the celestial realm sooner? In an attempt to soothe both his aching head and your tired soul, he reaches out to pull you into a hug, but your hands swat his arms away.

James recoils as if struck, the sting of rejection shattering his heart into thousands of pieces

“You might think it wise to revisit what we offered you, James.”

The words hang in the air like a dark omen when Steven and Samuel disappear. With a heavy heart, James turns away from you, unable to bear the weight of your disappointment any longer.

As you walk away, James is torn between the desire to comfort you and the fear of causing you further pain. But when he reaches out to touch you, once more, your tears are a silent testament to the rift that now lies between you. 

"I... I'm sorry," he stammers, his voice choked with emotion. It’s a desperate attempt to fix this, even if he does not know how.

“Go, James. Please. I need time to understand all this-”

“I can help you.”

“-alone. I want to be alone.” You swallow hard. “Leave, please.” Your tears finally spill and James despises that he is at fault of them.

“Go.”

Feeling more abandoned than ever, James leaves you to your grief, the weight of his actions weighing heavily on his soul. In that moment, he realizes that the price of his newfound freedom may be greater than he ever imagined, leaving him trapped in a prison of his own making, forever haunted by the memory of the one he could never save.

He knows there are not many ways to fix this. But he is determined to find the one that will.

❁ ❁ ❁

He doesn’t remember earth to be quite this cold. 

Find me when you have made the right choice. The words keep ringing in his head. 

A little warmth would feel nice now.

❁ ❁ ❁

You were angry when you told James to leave. Angry, and hurt, and confused, and shocked, and fucking tired of it all. 

But now that he is gone, an unfamiliar emptiness has taken its place where your tingles used to be. Everything makes so much sense now. The weirdly familiar feeling. The sense of security around him - a total stranger at the time, who obviously possessed more strength than you could ever imagine. The instant pull from his heart to yours. 

The quiet of your house seems to close in on you. The walls feel tighter, the rooms emptier. Every corner holds a memory of James, a reminder of the presence that had once filled your life with warmth and mystery. His laugh echoing in the hallway, his silhouette framed in the morning light through the kitchen window, the way he seemed to know when you needed comfort before you even realized it yourself.

You sit at the table, staring at your untouched cup of coffee, replaying moments in your mind. The time he effortlessly carried your groceries when you insisted you could manage alone. The nights he stayed up with you, talking about everything and nothing, his voice soothing and familiar. The way he looked at you, as if you were the center of his universe.

The days seem endless without him. Simple tasks feel monumental in the absence of his reassuring presence. You find yourself hesitating before making decisions, second-guessing your choices, yearning for the silent support he always provided. The realization hits you: you had built your life around him, around the safety and stability he brought, even without knowing the full truth of who he was.

You cannot deny that a big part of you misses him despite all the lies he told you. Well, not lies entirely. You know he has always been truthful to you ...he just never told the whole truth until he was forced to.

And even though the other two angels who visited made him reveal his secrets to you, you feel like there is so much more to discover still. 

Your hand settles over your heart, trying to pull the constant racing around James back into existence. But it beats in profound silence, acting as though nothing has happened, when - in fact - everything has changed. James came into your life and unapologetically took your heart away. You don’t want it back. You want him back. Heart or not, your souls are connected. And now that he is gone, you know what you have truly been missing all this time. 

With a sigh, you rise form your chair and grab your keys, determined to find a way to help James out of the trouble he has caused because of you. A shiver runs down your spine at the memories of it all. James’s sin had good intentions, you know this much. But two people died at the time of it - though only one deserves your mourning. 

You pull your door closed and make your way to town hall. The entire left wing of the building is dedicated to the library and you are destined to find out more about the man who crashed into your life and took your heart away... and then disappeared. 

The library is quiet, the soft rustling of pages and the occasional whisper the only sounds that break the stillness. You approach the counter, where a librarian is meticulously organizing a stack of book. She looks up as you approach, her kind eyes lighting up with curiosity. 

“Hello, dear,” she says warmly. How can I help you today?”

You hesitate for a moment but then you decide to just start at the beginning. “I’m looking for some texts about angels,” you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper. “More specifically fallen angels... and the consequences of disobeying.”

The librarian raises an eyebrow and a look close to amusement and happiness reaches over her face. “That’s a rather specific topic,” she muses and your brow begins to sweat. Maybe this was a stupid idea. The woman is still eyeing you with a smolder, but then, as if you pushed a button, she shrugges and begins to type away on her computer. “Good thing it’s my job to get you exactly what you need.”

She nods slowly after a little while. “We do have some old texts and legends about angels. Let me show you.” With that, she lifts her body out of the office chair behind the desk and leads you to the far end of the library. It’s a quiet corner where the oldest books are kept. She pulls an ancient-looking leather-bound volume from a high shelf. For the place it has been kept, it is surprisingly dust-free. 

With a smile, she hands it to you and then wishes you ‘happy hunting’.

The book is heavy in your hands. The front is embossed in golden letters. Your fingers trace over it, feeling every ridge and dip. ‘Legends of the Divine and Fallen’, the title reads. 

When you flip through the pages, the book’s well-worn smell engulfs you and something inside you shifts. You brother loved old books. The one in your hand brings you right back to when you were kids. Pietro had a whole wall of shelves filled with his favorite stories. And more so than often, you snuck inside when he was out with his friends, grabbing one whose cover intrigued you the most and then getting lost in the pages until he came back and read it to you. 

He sparked your interest in reading - made you the bookworm you are today. And finally, probably caused you to jump into this adventure with James in hopes of finally living inside on of your fantasy worlds. 

You eyes get caught by a story in the book, your thumbs halting and fully opening the page as intrigue tingles in your entire body with every word you read. 

The Tale of Buchariel: The Curious Angel

In the celestial realms, where light and harmony prevail, there existed an angel named Buchariel. Renowned for his loyalty and dedication, Buchariel was also marked by an insatiable curiosity. His yearning to understand the world beyond the heavenly gates set him apart from his brethren, who were content to serve without question.

One fateful day, driven by an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, Buchariel descended to the mortal realm without divine permission. His eyes beheld the beauty and chaos of humanity, the joys and sorrows that defined their existence. It was in this realm, teeming with life and temptation, that Buchariel's fate took a dark turn.

As Buchariel wandered the earth, a demon of cunning and allure took notice of the angel's presence. This demon, skilled in the art of seduction, approached Buchariel with promises of forbidden knowledge and experiences that no celestial being had ever known. Blinded by his curiosity, Buchariel succumbed to the demon's temptations, engaging in acts that defied the sacred laws of the heavens.

Word of Buchariel's fall reached the celestial realm, and the angels were dispatched to retrieve their wayward brother. They arrived in time to save Buchariel from complete corruption, pulling him from the demon's grasp and returning him to the realm of light. However, the consequences of his actions could not be undone.

The celestial court declared Buchariel's punishment. He was stripped of his rank and given an ultimatum: he could return to heaven only if he vowed never to betray the divine will again. God, in His infinite mercy, offered Buchariel a chance at redemption. He was to serve as a guardian angel, watching over humanity and guiding them towards righteousness. In this duty, he could be close to the world, yet stay obedient to heaven. 

Buchariel accepted his fate, grateful for the opportunity to make amends. Yet, the legend speaks of the angel's perpetual struggle. Constantly exposed to the allure of the mortal world, Buchariel walked a fine line between duty and desire. His heart, once pure and untainted, now carried the scars of his past transgressions.

Eons passed, and Buchariel's vigilance never wavered, but neither did the temptations. His soul remained in perpetual conflict, torn between his heavenly duty and the memories of earthly sensations. The legend warns that Buchariel's fall could occur once more, for the battle within him is eternal. He is an angel forever on the edge of sin, a guardian who knows the weight of temptation, and a being who understands the cost of free will.

Thus, the tale of Buchariel serves as both a caution and a beacon. It reminds all who hear it of the delicate balance between obedience and desire, and the endless journey towards redemption that even the most divine must undertake.

A chill runs down your spine as you realize the parallels between the legend and James. The delicate balance between obedience and desire - serving and sinning. James did sin again. When he killed the man who ended your brother’s life. 

You sit in silence, the weight of your realization settling over you like a shroud. It’s clear that Jame’s story resembles that of Buchariel in too many ways to be a coincidence. He was weirdly comfortable on earth, now that you think about it. For Christ's sake he even told you he had met God ‘under rather unfortunate circumstances’. If what the legend says is true, unfortunate is the understatement of the century. Now you cant help but wonder what price he might pay for his defiance.

❁ ❁ ❁

The diner hums with its usual activity, the clatter of dishes and the murmur of conversations fill the air. You move mechanically from table to table, refilling coffee cups and taking orders, but your mind is elsewhere, clouded with thoughts of James and the emptiness his absence has left behind.

Peggy, sitting at her usual spot at the counter, watches you with concern etched on her face. She waits until you pass by her with the coffee pot before speaking up.

"What's happened to that smile of yours, dear?" Peggy asks, her voice soft and maternal. "You used to light up this place."

You force a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "Just tired, Peggy. You know how it is."

Peggy's eyes narrow, not buying your excuse for a second. "Tired, my foot. Something's bothering you. You can talk to me, you know."

Before you can respond, Scott chimes in with a smirk. "At least now I know you’re back to normal," he says, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Thought you were gonna float away with all that grinning you were doing."

You shoot Scott a glare, feeling a mix of irritation and sadness. "Thanks, Scott. Really helpful."

“Always at your service” He tips his nonexistent hat, almost bringing a chuckle up within you. In his own way, he never faisl to cheer you up a little.

Peggy waves a dismissive hand at Scott and turns her full attention back to you. "Don't mind him, honey.” She leans in closer, her expression softening. "But seriously, what's going on? I haven't seen you this down in a while."

You sigh, the weight of your emotions pressing down on you. "It's complicated, Peggy. Someone important to me... well, they're not around anymore. And it's just... hard."

Peggy reaches out and pats your hand gently. “We all miss Pietro, dear. Losing someone is never easy... especially after all you’ve been through.”

You nod, grateful for her kindness, but the ache in your chest remains. You can't bring yourself to tell her it’s not your brother you are mourning at this time. "I appreciate that."

The hustle and bustle of the diner continues around you, but for a brief moment, you feel a small measure of comfort in Peggy's concern.

As you turn to refill another customer's coffee, Peggy's words linger in your mind. Maybe opening up a bit more wouldn't be such a bad idea. Maybe, just maybe, sharing the burden could help ease the pain of James's absence, even if only a little. But who should you talk to? The only person you were every really close with is gone...

❁ ❁ ❁

Yet another day passes in which you worry yourself tired. The house feels emptier than ever, the silence pressing in on you as you move through the rooms like a ghost. You try to distract yourself with chores and routines, but your thoughts always circle back to James. Wondering if he’s safe or thinking about you.

You sink into the worn armchair by the window, your favorite spot to watch the world outside. But tonight, the familiar view brings no comfort. The sky is a dark canvas, the stars hidden behind thick clouds. You hug your knees to your chest, feeling the loneliness wrap around you like a suffocating blanket as Old Lee’s words echo in your mind once again. 

A quiet sob calls into the empty room - barely audible. And then the tears start falling down your face in constant streams. The memory of his touch, his warmth, his presence, feels like a distant dream. You close your eyes, trying to recall the feeling of James's arms around you, the sound of his heartbeat against yours. It's a comfort and a torment all at once.

You haven’t cried like this since Pietro died... No, actually, you did when the message of Brock’s death reached you. But those were tears of relief rather than pain. 

A sudden chill sweeps through the room, at the memory of the man who tormented your life in more ways than one. You open your eyes, frowning as you notice that it’s not only the thought of Brock making you feel this way. The air seems to crackle with an otherworldly energy. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, and you feel a strange pull, a familiar yet eerie sensation that makes your heart race.

You stand up slowly, your breath hitching in your throat. The room feels alive with a palpable tension, as if the very fabric of reality is shifting. You turn around, your eyes scanning the dimly lit space.

And then you see him.

❁ ❁ ❁

James stands before you, his presence both startling and comforting, he notes as your herts sync again. His eyes meet yours, filled with a mix of relief and sorrow. You look as if you've been through a storm, yet there is a resolute strength in your gaze that anchors him. He probably doesn’t look much better, considering he in fact has been in said storm. But he’d do anything to come back to you. 

"James," you breathe, your voice trembling with emotion. "You're here.”

He steps forward, closing the distance between you. "I’m here," he says softly, his voice carrying the weight of all the unspoken words and unshared moments.

You reach out, your hand trembling as it touches his cheek, as if verifying that he is real and not another figment of your imagination. Your skin is cold and the sensation sends a flood of emotions through him.

"Where have you been?" you ask, your voice cracking with the weight of your worry.

“It is a long story," he replies, his hand covering yours. "But right now, all that matters is that I'm here. With you.”

In that moment, the world outside fades away, and all that exists is the space between you and James. The silence is filled with unspoken promises and the electric charge of a reunion long overdue. 

When you fall into his arms crying, his knees feel like giving out. He has had a long journey behind him, but he would die before showing you weakness when you need him the most. “I thought I would never see you again!” You cry even harder and James wraps his arms around you with loving pressure.

“I’m here,” he tries to soothe you. His wings come around you once again in search for the calmness that washes over him when he realizes you feel safe. 

“I don’t think I can do without you anymore.” Your voice is muffled against his chest but his heart leaps at your confession. Warmth spreads throughout his body as the realization hits that you finally feel close to the emotions he has harbored for you for so long. 

James wants to promise you that he’ll never leave again. He wants to tell you that there is nothing worth losing you. Not the most tempting offer to ever exist. He wants to hold you forever, in fact, do more than just hold you and give into the feeling he has only ever heard about from demons and sinners. 

But he can’t. Because he knows it would not be true. 

His feud with heaven is far from over. And the journey he plans to venture holds great unknown. So, he settles for the one thing he can tell you with certainty. 

“I cannot be without you, either, my beloved. There is so much I want to experience with you but the most important of them all is love. I love you, with my entire soul and heart. I cannot deny you this truth any longer. I have done the unspeakable because of it and you deserve to know.”

You eyes look up at him widely, a question in them that has waited long enough to be asked. “Brock’s death wasn’t an accident,” you whisper, but your posture remains steady. There is no pain or sorrow in your face. Just pure, plain curiosity.

“They told me he was mugged and thrown in the river. But it never made sense to me.” You pull a little out of his touch and James lets you even though his entire body screams to keep you close. “This town is too small to be mugged in. He was killed with a single stab to his heart. A mugger would never be so efficient.”

You gleam at him, seemingly waiting for him to confirm. But James stands in your presence with a sense of pride. He does not regret is transgression, not when it meant keeping you safe - which was and still is his greatest aim. 

“The way he was found was too peaceful to be from a robbery, either.” You tell him shaking your head. “How can you make a murder look so respectful and honest?” 

“I am sorry if I have upset you, dearest-“

“You haven’t. Brock Rumlow was a bad man. It took me a long time to notice, but he was abusing and ill-driven. If anything, I am upset I couldn’t thank you sooner that he is gone.”

“I had played with the though of removing him from the face of the earth for quite some time,” James confesses, feeling all the secret’s weight rolling off him like avalanches. “From the moment he first screamed at you... to the time he laid his hands on you. But I knew you were strong. I was so proud of you for getting up each day and moving on. I would have never acted had he not hurt you in a way even i could feel throught the very bond that ties our souls together. I knew you could handle the hurtful words, even the hurtful touches - that no-one, and especially not you, deserves. Your brother is of similar cunning as myself. But he was brave enough to act while I was fearing the consequences of testing celestial rule once more.” 

James catches the new tears rushing down your cheeks. But he wont stop telling you. He knows you need to hear it. It hurts him to revisit the memory of watching Pietro die in his quest to secure your freedom. “I was trying to honor you brother as much as ensure your safety when I... killed Brock.” He clears his throat and takes your hands in his. “He would have continued to hurt every person he encountered. I do not regret what I did.”

“Oh, James.” Your hands reach up to his face. James bows down to follow the tug you apply to his jaw. “Thank you for telling me. I am not angry. And despite what the other angels said, I know you are a good person. I love you, too.” 

You smile as James’s hands cover yours on his face. Your foreheads are touching and the room around you fades into nothingness. In this moment in time, there are just you and him, and all the new feeling bubbling inside him that he his eager to explore. 

He’s known it for long, but now he is certain than going back to heaven was never an option. Not when you are still here. 

“I would love to kiss you right now,” you whisper in the space between you, igniting a heat within James he has never felt before.

“I would like that very much,” he confesses and as soon as the words leave his lips, yours are firmly pressed against his. 

The sensation is overwhelming. Your lips are soft and warm, moving against his in a way that sends shivers down his spine. His hands still press yours to his skin, unsure what to do and overwhelmed with the experience opened to him. You gently take them and move then to your waist, then a little lower, making him trace the curve of your body as your tongue slowly slips between his lips. The contact sends a surge of electricity through him, making his heart race.

The kiss is tentative at first, each of you exploring this new and wondrous connection. Your fingers weave into his hair, anchoring yourself to him as if afraid he might vanish with this daring protest against heaven. He can feel the gentle tremor in your touch, the same mixture of awe and desire that he feels within himself.

You pull back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. Your breath mingles with his, cheeks heated and lips swollen. “Move your hands, James,” you whisper, guiding his hands to slide even lower on your body, teaching him how to hold you close, even though he thought he has always done so right. This is different. This is more.

He follows your lead, fingers trembling with the intensity of the moment as they squeeze flesh, eliciting a soft whimper from you that makes James’s insides stir. Or maybe it is not his insides after all, he notices when his pants feel tighter all of a sudden. 

Each brush of your lips against his, each caress, speaks of the longing and love that has been building between you for so long. James deepens the kiss, more confident now, feeling the warmth of your body against his, and it’s as if the world outside has ceased to exist.

Your thumb brushes over his cheek, and you smile, voice breathless. “You’re doing great.”

The kiss becomes more fervent, your guidance helping James navigate this new territory. He feels like he’s pouring all his love and devotion into this one act, wanting to convey everything he’s never been able to say. His wings reach round you tentatively, leaving enough air for you to breathe. He want’s to be wrapped up in you more - he cannot explain it.

James pulls back slightly, his breath coming in shallow gasps. “This... this is incredible,” he murmurs in a voice husky with wonder. “I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

You smile, eyes sparkling. “Neither have I.”

Your lips find each other again, more urgent this time, as if you’re making up for lost time - at least James is. The demon who lured him down the first time failed to mention this part of humanity to him.

“I want to show you more,” you finally whisper against his skin and at this point, James is willing to walk the sun if you asked him to. 

“Everything,” he rasps, his lips touching you with every syllable. He cannot get enough of your taste. “Show it all to me, my love.”

“I want to start with taking off our clothes.” You kiss him again, making Jame’s pants feel even tighter. He knows about sex and he knows it is what you are hinting at. But he has never experienced it. It is no use to angels, since they cannot impregnate another. In heaven, it is rarely talked about - and if it is, one is warned about it. 

Right now, James does not care why. He is eager to experience as much as there is on earth with you and then some. So, he lets you guide his hands over your shoulders, shrugging your cardigan off your body and letting his fingers glide beneath the thin straps adorning your shoulders now. 

His hands are so big compared to yours. He marvels in the fact of how much stronger he is, making him able to protect you that much better. 

James has no difficulty guiding the clothes from your body. Nakedness is something barely acknowledged where he comes from. But today... something about it feels different. This situation feels so much more intimate than it usually does. And he notices, when you kneel down to pull his pants down, his cock stands proud from his body, bigger than usual, and hard and- “Oh!” sensitive, he notes when your lips kiss his hip, your face slightly grazing his member in the action. 

With your head next to it, it looks disproportionately huge, but you don’t seem to mind. 

“This... I have never done this before.” James’s hands guide you back up to him. He is certain his cheeks are glowing red by now. He feels hot and bothered, yet so yearning for more of the teasing your face provided for mere seconds before. 

“Are you okay with continuing?” Your eyes find his again. 

“Yes.”

“Okay, good.” And when he nods, you take his hand and lead him down the hall to your bedroom. 

He has missed this place, missed holding you for the time he went away, but he can't tell you where he has been just yet. Not now, anyway. Right now, he wants to experience whatever you are willing to show him. 

You walk around him, touching him all over, watching him react and making him lean down only to pull back before his lips can get a taste of yours again. It’s beautiful agony and James is torn between pulling you into his strong grip and letting you wind him up until his balls feel like they are the ones squeezed tightly. They already are...

Eventually, you come to a stop behind him. He jolts when you fingers drive over the top of his wings, only for you to mumble a quick ‘sorry’ and coming back around in front of him. 

“Don’t be sorry. I was just not expecting it.”

You stare past him and at the white feathers protruding from his back. “They are so soft... and pretty.” You find his eyes. “All of you is pretty.”

He reaches for your face, finding pride in the way you nestle into his palm with a smile. “And dear, you are the most beautiful being the world has ever seen.”

“Can I touch them again?” You whisper only for James to now stare in awe. 

He watches as your hands pass his body in slow-motion. They travel past his ribs and reach carefully towards his wings again. This time, he is prepared, though his stomach feels tight with something opposite of worry. More of a physical feeling he can't begin to explain. He closes his eyes and lets your touch travel over them like a prayer. Your path leaves shivers in its wake and James lets his head hang, reveling in the feeling. He opens his eyes and watches his cock twitch whenever the tingles get too much. 

He gasps breathlessly when you graze the underside of his wings, making his whole body jump slightly. 

“Oh, are those sensitive?” You smile in awe, though your expression turns to excitement when he wheezes out his answer. 

“Very.”

“Do you like it?” 

Your fingers glide over the same spot again, making his cock leak, feeling like he’s about to explode. “Yes!” He grabs the sideboard next to him.

“I want to make you feel good, James” your voice is damp agains this ear and he bites his tongue before bursting. 

“You already do.” 

“I want to make it even better.”

James is not sure he can handle better. He’s already floating miles above the ground when you touch him in the ways you do. Maybe he has to distract himself to enjoy this some more. 

He could think about why heaven would withhold education of how amazing sex can be. That will make him calm a little, posting yet another reason why it was never the place to be for him. 

Your hands wrap around his silver wrists as you guide him to the bed, pushing down on his shoulders until he is sat on the mattress, looking up at you with intrigue and awe. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to ride you, James.” You straddle his lap and his arms immediately reach around you. 

“Ride ...me? I’m not a horse.” He states and watches as your smile lights up. But it settles a weary feeling in his stomach. There is a hint of mischief in your glint, and James is not sure he can handle it right now. 

“Do you trust me?”

“With my entire soul.”

You kiss him and push at his chest. “The lie back for me.”

And so he does, realizing - once again - that anything heaven could offer him pales in comparison to the love he feels for you, a love that knows no bounds or logic and that is reciprocated in your every touch. 

James watches as you scoot up his body until you are sat right behind his cock, which has not ceased to soften one bit since you kissed. It reaches all the way to your navel. But before he can take in the sight and calculate the size difference between you, you press him against your stomach, pulling another moan from his lunges. 

His tip is leaking more and more with every touch you gift him and James starts to worry his body will give out before he can make you feel good. 

“You’re so big, so pretty.” You stroke him from base to top, letting your thumb press into the underside of his cock and send shiver after shiver through James’s body. “I need you inside me.”

“I need that to.” His voice is strangled when you lift up and grind his tip through your wet folds, moaning with the friction he can only assume is the same for you as it is for him. 

In a swift motion, the head of his cock sinks inside you, breaching tight muscle and making him feel dizzy with the new sensation. Your head falls back with a loud breath that makes his abs tighten. This whole time, he feels as though a gust of wind could make him unravel, but something inside him tells James he should hold out - or at least try to. 

The raspy sounds escaping his throat cant seem to stop when you slowly work yourself all the way down his shaft. And the high-pitched scream you set free when his tip reaches another barrier within you makes him twitch and leak even more. 

“Are you alright?” He asks through sweaty brows. 

“I’m amazing.” You smile and lift yourself up only to sink back down into his lap. Your movements become steady, and when he finally gets over the way your mouth hangs slack, the rhythm you set builds even more pressure inside him. 

The room is filled with messy sounds of skin and sweat and moans and heavy breaths. You sink down on him again and again until James feels like he is on fire. But you don’t relent. Your pace never falters when you fall back and your hands grip his thighs, digging into his muscles until his toes curl. 

It’s too much at once and not enough at the same time. James feels as though there is a cliff he could fall over every second now, but he’s too scared to loose the sensations he is experiencing right now to let his body do so. 

“Touch me,” you suddenly say, taking his hands which have fisted inside your duvet until now and placing them on the soft flesh of your breasts. Only now, your nipples are hardened when you guide his fingers over them. “Like this.” You’re somehow fare gone and right there with him. But he does as he his told again, flicking his thumb over the pebbled flesh until your moans grow higher and higher. “Ah, Yes!”

It’s doing something to him, he his twitching every time your pussy squeezes him in tandem with his thumb on your nipples. His body is moving without the permission of his mind when he suddenly thrusts up. And then again. And again. Until you are mewling and crying on top of him, your fingernails digging into his legs painfully hard. 

James immediately drops his hands only to watch you stare at him with wide eyes. 

“What’s the matter. Why did you stop?”

He bites his lips in shame when he realizes he misses your constant movement on his cock. “Am I hurting you?”

You eyes possibly widen further. Leaning forward and capturing his cheeks with both lips and hands, you shake your head after you pull away. “No! No, its a good thing, love. You feel so good. You...” Your expression changes to a rather shy one. “You’re just very big. You should be proud.”

Something inside James clicks as you confess with another kiss to his lips. A smirk spreads beneath them when he curiously thrusts up inside you and experiences your hot breath gains his face. 

In a second, his hands grab onto your hips, his body turns and flips the pair of you until your back hits the mattress as gently as he can offer in his compromised position. 

A last look of reassurance when your eyes lock with his set off the urges he has suppressed so far. His hips snap forward over and over again, your pussy tightening more around him with every push. Your hands are fist into the covers, head thrown back and mouth open. There is no more sound coming from you at this point. And James understands why. He is as overwhelmed with the feeling as you look. When you grow even tighter, gripping this cock until he cannot move anymore, white pleasure as hot as hellfire rushes through his body, kissing his nerves from head to toe. He feels his balls empty as he paints your inside with his spent, only being able to lazily rut into you after a minute to seize every last drop of pleasure this moment has to offer. 

Then he falls forward as if a higher force has taken all the strength from his body, though careful not to hurt you when his weight settles on top of you. 

“What-“ he needs to catch his breath first. “What was that?”

“That,” you open your eyes, chest having with every deep breath, “was an orgasm.” Your hands brush through his hair and James finds himself purring at the touch. “And it was the best one I’ve ever had.” 

You kiss him and chuckle when he looks at you questioningly. “I guess you could say it was outer-worldly... or even heavenly.” 

James rolls his eyes but can’t stop the laugh from slipping his lunges. He pulls back and watches as his softened cock leaves your pussy, only to be followed by your mixed arousal dripping out of you. 

Trance-like, his hand moves to collect the fluid and begins to smear it over your petals, up into the soft tuft above it. He knows angels cannot impregnate other beings, but he is fascinated by the scene in front of him. It’s like a little testimony when he marks you all around the best place he has ever experienced, wordlessly rubbing and enjoying the whimpering sounds you make when he flicks over a particular spot. 

“Is this sensitive?” He teases with a smirk only to be met with a playful smack on his arm. 

“Very.” you say. “But I am entirely satisfied as of right now.”

James sighs and falls into the sheets beside you. “Me too.” He nuzzles into your neck and pulls you closer to his body. He does not care that you are sticky with sweat or that neither of you are cleaned up. He just needs to hold you now that reality has taken its place back around him again. 

“So, you have been watching over me for - what? All my life?”

James hides the chuckle bubbling up his throat at your sudden question. He still has his eyes closed, taking in the feeling of your nails lightly scratching up and down his forearms. It makes him tingly. 

“All your life, yes.”

“And have you ever meddled with other things that were supposed to happen to me?”

“Do you remember the year in which you kept finding pineapples in arbitrary places?”

It’s silent for a moment, but your movements don’t falter. “I always thought that was a weird coincidence.”

James smiles into the crook of your neck. “Consider it my way of adding a little excitement to your life. And maybe a small attempt to make you notice me.”

You push yourself up slightly and rest on your elbows as you look at James. “I like you like this.” You smile.

“Like what?” He’s smiling as well.”

“Less angel, more...” Your hand comes up to gesture at nothing in particular. “...deviant.”

The smile on James’s face turns into a proud grin before he leans up to kiss you tenderly, savoring the moment and pushing away the thought that has been gnawing on him ever since he came back. 

He holds you until you fall asleep, purposefully missing the opportunity to tell you what he has gotten himself into while he was away.

❁ ❁ ❁

James stands in the garden, the sky overcast and heavy with the promise of rain. He’s out here to retrieve a bouquet of your favorite flowers, smiling like a fool because he finally has what he always wished for. All his mishaps and seem worth it when he holds you in his arms at night. 

The flowers are vibrant and alive, and he bends to pick them with a sense of purpose, each blossom a token of his affection. Even as the first raindrops start to fall, his joy is undiminished. The rain doesn’t bother him; it’s a minor inconvenience compared to the happiness he’s found with you. 

As he moves through the garden, he thinks of the moments you’ve shared—the way your eyes light up when you see him, the warmth of your touch, the sound of your laughter, the way you writhe beneath him in she sheets. For the first time in his existence, he feels complete. 

James clutches the bouquet and heads back toward the house, eager to see the surprise on your face when he presents you with the flowers.

But before he can pass the threshold, an eery feeling spreads though is soul, a shadow falls over him but vanishes just as soon. He scans the yard, his sight nestling through the trees at the very edge of it and then suddenly halting when he sees Wanda leaning against one at the very far corner of your property. Her presence is like a dark cloud on the horizon, a stark contrast to the bright joy he feels. Her red eyes glint with a knowing look, and her lips curl into a smirk that sends a chill down his spine.

“Are you not coming inside, James? The weather will only get worse.” You shout through the house only to appear behind him to inspect what is keeping him outside. 

But James’s stare is fixated on the demon in your yard, his protective instincts setting in immediately, scanning his surroundings while keeping a close eye on Wanda. 

“What is going on?” You ask and reach your arms around him from the side. He can sense you’re eyeing him but he knows you see what he is seeing when your entire body grows rigid beside him. 

“Who is that?” you whisper into James’s shoulder as you step even closer to him, your voice barely audible over the increasing patter of rain. He squeezes you a little tighter, trying to shield you from the inevitable storm brewing. A quick look at your state tells him he should have send you inside. But It is too late for that now. 

When his head turns back into the direction of the demon, it is no longer in its prior place. Instead, Wanda has moved across the garden with impeccable speed, looking up at the pair of you a few feet alway from the step leading to your porch. 

“You promised me time to explore the likes of this life.” His voice is low and intimidating, though he knows its futile in the face of a demon. They are scared of very little. 

“And explored you have,” her red hair falls over her shoulder when her head ticks to the side. “Tell me, Bucharius, is it worth the cost?”

The demon knows of the leverage it has on him. James was sure he would follow through with his request from the start. But he forgot, or maybe just hoped, the devil’s spawn would gift him more time until he had to go and seal the contract. 

“You know it is,” he pushes though clenched teeth, hating how your fingers clamp around his arm already. 

“Actually, I don’t. But I would be an idiot to refuse an offer such as yours.” Wanda clasps her long fingers together and grins with evil. “Oh, I will have so much fun with your soul once the time comes.”

The angel closes his eyes tightly, hating the way the demon pressures him to leave so soon. But it is for the greater good, for him at least. He need’s to be selfish for once - to be able to spend a lifetime providing whatever you desire. 

“Just give me a moment, Wanda,” James says, his voice steady despite the chaos inside his head. He knows his flicker of happiness is about to be shattered, but he wants to hold onto it for just a little longer.

“What is happening? What does she want?” There are tears brimming in your eyes and James decides he has seen them far too many times to be a good guardian to you. It just secures his decision to do what Wanda came to collect him for. 

James presses his lips to the crown of your head before gently tilting it upward with his fingers. His gaze is steady, exuding a confidence while you desperately cling to him in your confusion.

“I’m not sure I can handle all this newfound angelic drama,” you mutter with unease, and James kisses you—short and sweet, a fleeting moment of peace.

Then he whispers against your lips, “Please, you handle drama like a queen. Remember that time you dealt with Valentina from accounting?” His attempt at humor brings a small smile to your face, and he momentarily loses himself in the warmth and security it provides.

But the feeling doesn’t last long.

“James has made a deal with the devil,” Wanda grins, her red eyes flashing with malevolent glee.

Her words send shivers over your body, James feels the ripples pass beneath his fingertips. You pull away from your guardian angel, whose troubles have now escalated to an unthinkable level. 

“What does she mean, James?”

❁ ❁ ❁

James’s silence is deafening. You pray, you beg, for this to be a terrible joke, but deep down, you know it’s not.

“James.” Your words are strained, desperate for answers, desperate for reassurance. “What is she talking about?”

“It is true,” James finally admits, his eyes free of sorrow but filled with determination. “I have made a deal with Lucifer. My wings for a mortal life. My soul when it leaves my deceased body after spending a lifetime with you.”

“What?” The word is a whisper, your mind struggling to process the gravity of his confession. Because your cheeks feel salty and stained before you realize what James has just told you. “Why are you doing this?” you ask through your tears.

“Because I’d give up heaven if it meant being with you.” James’s eyes burn into yours, the rain dripping off his wet face deceivingly. His voice is steady, unwavering. “I’d go to hell a thousand times over until my soul burns to ashes if it meant I get to hold you one more time. You’re everything to me. Everything.”

Another wave of shivers slip over your skin with the way he presses the last word. His eyes are fiery, almost desperate. He is trying to make you understand how much better this decision is, but you fail to see how it can. “You can’t do this. You are destined for more. There are many more to come after me that need protecting and watching over.”

“And there have been plenty before you, yet none of them have or will ever compare, my love.” He touches your cheek, but you push his hand away. Your heart is already aching when you watch his face fall at the gesture. But you are not made for these types of dilemmas. You are human for fuck’s sake. “I would spend eternity regretting not experiencing life with you. I am tired of watching; I am over feeling the distance between us. Going back to heaven means finding you someone else to love. And I cannot do that. It would destroy me, burn me alive, rip my heart out of my chest.”

“James, think about this.” Now the first angry tear slips from his face and mixes with he rain which has grown heavier. Dark clouds cast over the scene, matching the mood perfectly. Dreary and sad - how poetic. 

“I have. For far too long. I will never feel truly fulfilled until I can be what you need me to be: a real, tangible person that grows old with you.”

You shake your head, your hair sticking to your skin. “You have to believe me when I tell you that I exist only for you. My life was dull before you entered it, and it will feel like a black hole when you leave. There is nothing—nothing—I wouldn’t do to be with you.”

Never before have words felt more genuine than this. James is hunched forward, his eyes pleading at you from above. A sneaky hand has captured yours and presses it to his chest, where his heart is beating vigorously against your skin. 

Resignation laces your voice when you finally answer him. “So you’re just going to leave now? For how long? What if he tricked you?”

You don’t know  much about all the rules but one thing is for sure, the devil likes to play and deceive. Just the thought of James walking into a trap makes your stomach churn. 

“Then it was worth it.” There is something akin to content and fulfillment in Jame’s stare when his hand squeezes yours and his heartbeat slows. Though your’s seems to do the opposite. 

“No.” You say breathlessly. 

“I’m sorry," he answers, and wraps your fingers around the bouquet in his hands.

“James.”

“I love you.”

“James.”

The rain intensifies, pounding the earth as if mirroring the turmoil in your heart. James turns and lets Wanda put him in chains, leading him away. You fall to your knees, crying, the three words you have yet to say hanging on your lips for nobody to hear. He’s gone. He’s gone without the knowledge of ever seeing you again.

❁ ❁ ❁

And just like that it ends like it began: in tragedy… and rain.

❁ ❁ ❁

Maybe you are just not cut out for happiness, you think as you wipe down the counter with a frown. The sun is shining today, almost mocking your bad mood with every chirping of birds outside. Earlier today, you were so angry about the reflection blinding you inside that you shut the blinds completely. 

James has been gone for a week now and you already feel like breaking down over what you’ve lost whenever something is mentioned that reminds you of him. 

A few days ago, after a really rough night, you swore you’d never let anyone this close to you. It’s the perfect start for you villain origin story, really. Losing your brother to an abusive ex. Losing said abusive ex thanks to a protective angel. Then falling in love with the angel only for him to go to hell for loving you back. 

You heart cannot take another hit. It’s constantly breaking as you think about the torture and pain James is probably suffering in the pits of hell. There is just no more room for another person, another worry, or anything else, really. 

You will just die an old and groggy lady, likely still cleaning this very counter until you cant anymore. The whole town is going to know you as the weird woman with seventy two cats.

You shake at the thought of it, disposing of your towel and grabbings some plates from the counter to clean up some more.

“New customer is yours, freaking weirdo has been standing outside the window and looking inside like some kind of stalker,” Scott mumbles as he paces by you with his head buried in his phone screen. 

You just sigh and throw a used napkin into the trash before loading the dirty plates onto a kitchen tray. 

“I’d like a sandwich, please.” A voice sounds from behind you and your entire body goes rigid.

It can’t be. It cant. For days you have been wishing for James to come back, now you are finally becoming crazy. 

But your heart picks up its familiar sprint and your entire body tingles with hope. Still, you don’t dare to turn around. 

“Are you not going to look at me, dearest?”

Your hands tremble as you grip the edge of the counter. What if it’s real? What if it’s not? The uncertainty gnaws at you, each second stretching into an eternity. You’ve dreamed of this moment, but dreams are fickle things, easily shattered by the harsh light of reality.

“James...” The name slips out in a whisper, a plea, a hope. Tears sting your eyes, and you squeeze them shut, bracing yourself for the worst.

You take a deep breath and finally turn around. Truly, there he stands in front of you, with a bright and gleaming grin on his lips. There is one thing you notice immediately: the silver cuffs on his arms are gone. And he looks oddly free without them.

Almost trance-like, you round the counter, your had reaches out to him, touching his jaw, gliding down the length of his neck until your fingertips disappear into the soft curls in the back of it. 

“Is it really you?” You whisper in awe as you start to drown in the familiar blue of his eyes. And when James covers your hand with his, squeezing his reassuring sequence to your bones, you know. It’s real. 

“In the ...flesh.” he frowns but then smiles widely. 

“What happened when you were gone?” Your curiosity gets the better of you, but James just shakes his head and then turns his face to kiss the inside of your wrist. 

“Not here, love. Take me home... if you’ll have me. Take me back. I promise no more secrets from now on.”

You just nod vigorously, finally pulling James into your embrace. The worry raging inside you fades into insignificance, eclipsed by the certainty that in this moment, you’ve regained something intently more powerful - a bond that defies explanation, but feels undeniably perfect. 

“I will always choose you over anything else, James.” You nuzzle into his chest as you ravel in the warmth of his body and the security of his touch. His heart is singing the same song as yours and his head hangs low atop yours, pressing meaningful kisses to your hairline between every stroke of his hand on your back. 

The diner around you might as well not exist. All that matters is this connection between you - the bond that defies the boundaries of heaven and earth. 

“But tell me one thing,” you whisper into his shirt and James moves to better hear your low voice. 

“I will tell you anything,” he presses into another kiss on your face, still holding you close. 

“Are you... did the-“ you’re not sure how to assemble the questions inside your mind without being bold. But James seems to know exactly what it is you want to say. 

He takes both his hands from around you and guides your face to his until his warm lips press a meaningful kiss to yours. “Yes,” he murmurs softly, yet steadily, conveying just enough seriousness to let you know how important and truthful his answer is. “I did what I promised. I am yours until the end of my life, and even beyond, my soul will be seeking yours for eternity. But until then, we will grow old together and finally be what we were meant to.”

His lips latch onto yours a second time and as the kiss deepens, a sense of completeness washes over you. In James’s arms, you find the solace and passion you have been yearning for, a promise of love that transcends all else. 

“I can’t begin to tell you how much it means to me.” You smile back between kisses.

James pulls you even closer, his voice a gentle murmur against your lips. “We have a lifetime to show each other.”

And in that moment, surrounded by the echoes of a bustling diner and the warmth of his embrace, you know that no matter the trials ahead, this love will endure, defying all boundaries and transcending every limit. 

❁ ❁ ❁

Because at last, there’s noting more freeing than falling itself.

🫵 You cant get enough of this character? Go check out the chatbot I made for him! This way you can explore different endlings, plotlines, or just enjoy his company for a while longer 💕

Lord, can we take a second and appreciate these images???!! Got me on my knees - and not for praying, I'll tell you this much...

Hello, loves. As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my work. I hope you had fun! Maybe... juuuust maybe if you want to, you could leave a comment or reblog on this post. New fics will be on hiatus until August, I have some real life work to finish. But please feel free to interact and talk to me. I love hearing from you! Take care, and ill talk to you as soon as I can. ~Meg 💗

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[cutehoons02]

Mission: Don’t fall in love with the campus superstar

University series: Heeseung Jungwon Jake

*pairing: pervy campus superstar Jay x barista Girl

*trope: grumpy x sunshine

*synopsis: What would happen when the captain of the university baseball team as well as the campus superstar comes to work in the university cafeteria with you? Jay is the superstar of the campus, he has the pressure to be the captain of the Baseball team but at the same time he tries to produce music and study instead you are the classic girl who does not want to have distractions and who spends the days studying and working; but Jay is a storm of emotions and even the most tender girl can not not give in to his flattery.

*tags: fluffy,humor,Jay loves to tease the protagonist, the protagonist does not bear much Jay, kisses, Jay is a green fleg, unprotected sex (don’t horny ppl), masturbation, (f.m receive it),fingering,pet names (sunshine,good girl) (rockstar), jealosy,+16

(English is not my native language)

9.9k (🎸)

The university cafeteria was full as always at eight in the morning. The smell of freshly ground coffee mixed with the chatter of students, newly baked brioche, and people’s chatter gave a sparkling energy that Y/N found strangely reassuring in that place. She loved working there despite the intense shifts. There were always interesting people to watch and his boss was incredibly patient with his experiments of milk art and various coffees customized for the different seasons.

That morning, however, her quiet rhythm was abruptly interrupted.

Jay Park entered the cafeteria as if he were the protagonist of a movie. Dark sunglasses - despite being indoors - and a leather jacket laid carelessly on the shoulder. A sports bag was hanging from his right hand, while the left one was slipped distractedly into his jeans pocket. His walk was slow, and calculated, as if he were aware of the glances that turned on his way.

<< That’s Jay Park, right? >> whispered a group of girls near the bar, holding their breath as he passed.

Y/N recognized him. How could she not? It was everywhere: on social media platforms, in the posters of university sports teams, and even in his roommate’s TikTok feed, who did nothing but watch his videos wherewith his collection of electric guitars every day posted some cover and with its charm made millions of views.

"Great," you thought, rolling your eyes.

Jay approached the counter and took off his sunglasses with a theatrical gesture, showing his deep eyes and an expression that seemed to say: I’m here to save the day.

«Hi, I’m looking for the person in charge,» he said, his voice low and full of confidence as he stared at you from head to toe. You looked at him, trying to keep a neutral expression. "It’s on the back. But if you’re here for free coffee, I don’t think you should try."

Jay bowed his head, a smile that seemed half amused and half irritated. «I’m not here for free coffee, sunshine.»

"Oh, sorry, the rockstar is talking to us, common mortals?" You said, crossing your arms.

The nickname made him stop for a second, before his smile came back, more arrogant than before. «Interesting. You always have this personality... or are you just angry because your day started before me or maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?»

"On the contrary," you said, with a fake smile. "I love getting started early. It gives me more time to put up with guys like you."

Jay laughed softly, shaking his head. «This job will be fun.»

Just then, your boss came out of the back, wiping his hands on the apron. 'Jay! Perfect, you’re here. Here’s your uniform.'

«Uniform? Uhm...sure I must put that subspecies of robe over my sweaters or sweaters» he repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Tried to hold a laugh when you saw his expression change, but his security cracked for the first time. The boss handed him a cream-colored apron from the coffee shop with the logo in the center.

' Welcome aboard,' said the chief, then he turned to you. 'Y/n, why don’t you show him how it works here? Today he will pair up with you. You’re always the best at making new people feel comfortable, take it under your wing'

You felt the smile slide from your face. "Wait, with me?"

Jay turned to you with a smile that was both a grin and a challenge. «It seems we are partners, sunshine!»

Jay was an impossible presence to ignore. From day one, you were committed to showing him everything there was to know about the café:

How to use the coffee machine, the correct way of blending milk, where the ingredients for the cakes were, and even how to handle the most complex orders.

But, of course, Jay had decided to make your task much more difficult.

«So I have to press this button to make coffee?» he asked, the tone full of innocent curiosity.

"Exactly," you replied, with infinite patience. "Just press that button and the machine will do it all by itself."

Jay looked at you and tilted his head slightly. «It seems easy. Are you sure even a rock star like me can do it?»

"Well, if you can play a guitar solo without missing a note, I think you can handle a cappuccino," you said, crossing your arms.

Jay smiled, the kind of smile that he knew was irresistible. «Interesting. So you’ve been watching my videos?»

"I didn’t say that," you replied quickly, blushing barely. You watched all his videos as a little "stalker" to understand why the girls were obsessed with him while he was playing those guitars that would cost more than your parents' various salaries of their whole life. You didn’t understand much about electric guitars but the covers were nice and some famous artists had even put back his videos, but surely the girls did not look much at how the music played but who played it, Every time Jay recorded a video, he was beautiful, sometimes he looked like a nerd with glasses, other times with a Ralph Lauren shirt that made his muscles stand out, Other times he played with sweatshirts of the baseball team and others real rockstar with t-shirts of rock artists and his inevitable leather jacket.

«But you didn’t deny it, have you seen if I covered your favorite song?» he muttered, loud enough to be heard.

You puffed, turning to make an order, "I can not watch the hundreds of videos that place to see if you played my favorite song, I have no time to waste but surely you will not play it" felt that Jay was laughing behind you and It was unbearable.

Days passed and, at each turn, the cafeteria seemed to become a tourist attraction for all the students on campus. Girls Y/n had never seen before suddenly showed up with bright smiles, flawless clothes, and demands that were far too complicated.

' A double latte macchiato with almond milk, vanilla syrup, and a dash of cocoa, please said a girl with a mellow voice, leaning against the counter to attract Jay’s attention.

«Immediately» he replied, with a smile that would melt even the most cynical heart.

But when he turned to make the drink, you noticed that he had no idea how to start. As always.

"Jay, the almond milk is there," you said, indicating it with a nod.

He turned to you, leaning against the counter with a mocking air. «Oh, so help me now? I thought you were too busy hating me.»

"I don’t hate you," I said dryly. "I don’t have time for that. You’re just... annoying."

«Yet you are always ready to correct me» he replied, with that unbearable smile that made you want to throw the first container of milk at him.

The more days passed, the more you realized that Jay was good at everything - except for his real job. He made coffee now and then but spent most of his time flirting with clients, having light conversations, and... attracting an absurd amount of attention.

One day, while you were cleaning one of the tables, you noticed another familiar scene. Jay was at the bar, with a girl laughing too loud at a joke he probably hadn’t even finished.

When the client finally left, you approached her, visibly irritated. "You are aware that technically you should be working, right?"

«But I’m working» he replied, leaning on the bar with that relaxed air while preparing a cappuccino. «People are happy. The cafeteria is full. I would say I’m doing a great job.»

"Jay, don’t take me for a fool. Someone else is always preparing their orders while you’re doing the showman with any girl who opens that fucking door of this coffee shop."

Jay chuckled, his hand in his hair. «Are you jealous?»

"Why would I be jealous of you? Not."

«No, not me,» he said with a smile that irritated her beyond measure. «Smiles that I reserve for everyone but not for you, sunshine.»

You were blocked for a moment, you could not stand it anymore, why the absurd reason that fate had made you know such an arrogant and self-satisfied guy?

"Maybe if you smiled less, you’d have time to do something useful and commit to something that isn’t frivolous."

Jay laughed, a deep and relaxed laugh that seemed to make fun of you but at the same time made you feel comfortable. «I promise you that the next smile is only for you, sunshine.»

You stared at him, but the truth was that you couldn’t stop thinking about those words for the rest of your shift.

The cafeteria was more chaotic than ever, thanks to the Jay Park effect. But despite his annoying behavior, you couldn’t help but notice how good he was at making everyone else feel comfortable except you. It was like he was doing it on purpose like he was having fun challenging you every turn.

It was a morning like many others, and you tried to get to the classroom in time so as not to be late. Psychology of interpersonal relationships was one of your favorite subjects, but the professor had the annoying habit of closing the door as soon as the clock ticked and not letting anyone in.

When you finally sat down, putting your laptop and notebooks in place, you felt a movement behind you. You didn’t pay too much attention until a familiar voice that you had learned to recognize and couldn’t stand did not break your moment of concentration.

«Sunshine, what a coincidence to find you here.»

You looked up at the sky and sighed deeply, immediately recognizing the tone. You just sunflower, just to confirm what you were already afraid of: Jay Park had sat right behind you, with that arrogant smile that you knew all too well.

"What are you doing here? , don’t tell me you missed me already and stalked my schedule" you asked, narrowing your eyes.

Jay laughed and gave you a slight pinch on the cheek while smiling at you

«Pff, calm I have not stalkerized your schedules and I did not miss at all this is the course of psychology of interpersonal relationships» he replied, leaning on the back of the chair as if he were the master of the world. «Interesting course to include in my CV»

You stared at him incredulously. "You? Psychology? You don’t seem like the type."

«Why not?» he replied, crossing his arms with a grin. «Relationships are my field of expertise.»

"Ah, sure," you replied, sarcastically "Flirting with all the girls on campus counts as a sociological experiment, I’d be curious to know if at least one of these girls has you friend-zoned to stand down once?"

Jay chuckled, amused by your tone and this time he came perilously close to your face which was red with anger.

«I didn’t know you were so attentive to my... experiments and relax all my experiments have been successful!» and he winked at you.

You quickly turned around, ignoring him as the teacher started the lesson. But all the while, you could feel Jay’s gaze on you. And when, at the end of the lesson you got up to collect your things he was already next to you.

"What do you want now?" button, putting the notebook in the bag.

«I thought I’d keep you company until the cafeteria» he replied in an innocent tone, although the smirk on his face told another story.

"No need, thank you," you replied trying to get rid of him.

Jay, however, did not let himself be discouraged. «Come on, you can’t always be so serious. Living a little won’t hurt you, you know? Every time I see you, you’re always so tense and serious, it seems like you hate everyone!»

"What should I do? Live my life like you, you mean?" you said, stopping to watch. "Spending your days doing nothing useful, wasting time and money because you don’t need to earn it?"

Jay raised an eyebrow but remained silent.

"Not everyone has rich parents who can buy him everything. I cannot afford to waste time. I work here to pay for my studies, and it’s not easy, so stop acting like it’s all a game."

Jay’s smile flinched for a moment. «I’m not saying that he doesn’t work hard. I’m just saying that...»

"What?" you interrupted him in a sharp voice. "That I must relax? Do you know the difference between me and you, Jay? I don’t have the luxury of stopping. I have to do everything myself."

For a moment, silence fell between you. Jay looked at you with a different, almost serious expression. He did not answer immediately, and you took advantage of the moment to leave, leaving him there, motionless in the corridor.

That afternoon, the work shift started as usual. You were already in the cafeteria setting up the counter and preparing the first meals. But when Jay came in, something seemed different. He didn’t make his usual theatrical entrance, nor the usual tantalizing comment.

Instead, he approached you for the first time and looked into your eyes without the usual smile of defiance.

«Y/n» began, in a low and sincere tone.

"What is it?"

«I didn’t mean to offend you before,» he said, scratching his neck and seeing for the first time a glimmer of sincerity and perhaps embarrassment from Jay?

«You’re right, I don’t know what it means to work so hard to get something. I got everything served on a silver platter and... well, maybe I act like it’s normal. But it’s not.»

You watched him, unsure of how to respond. "It’s not a contest, Jay. I don’t want sympathy or excuses. I just want to do my job without someone making me feel like I’m wrong or being arrogant with me."

He nodded slowly. «Understood. So... maybe today I’m trying to work. Show me what I have to do.»

"Really?" you asked, skeptical.

«Seriously» he replied. And this time he gave you a smile that seemed sincere.

The days at the coffee shop seemed to flow more smoothly after that candid conversation between you and Jay. It was as if a certain balance had been reached: he was more engaged in work and less in chatting or flirting with the girls, and you found the schedule that you had together of shifts even a little pleasant. Nevertheless, your interactions were not lacking in tension, with sharp lines and looks that said more than words.

One afternoon, during a break between shifts, Jay approached you as he was setting up some empty cups on the counter with a 32-tooth smile.

«Hey, did you know that there will be a baseball game tonight for the opening of the new academic semester?»

"So what?" you asked, and continued to tidy up the register.

«And so you should come» he replied, as if it were obvious.

You lie down quietly, shaking your head. "I don’t have time for this."

Jay tilted his head, pretending to be hurt. «Sunshine, you’re not saying you don’t want to support your... favorite coworker?»

"Favorite coworker," you repeated sarcastically, staring at him. "This is new."

«There will be the girlfriends of my friends and also the girlfriend of Jungwon who is your roommate, I promise you that you’ll have fun then there will not be 2 hours of leisure that would do you good» he looked at you with that smile that made everyone crazy but you wanted to say no.

"Thank you," you replied sarcastically. "But I don’t know if that’s the case."

«Oh, please, you have to come» insisted Jay, the slightly more serious tone. «It’s not just a match for me. It’s important. I’m trying to get noticed by some professional teams and you know better than me that my dream is to become a Baseball player and beat all the records»

That phrase made you stop for a moment. Despite everything, Jay had a dream. And you knew how important it was to pursue something that you believed in.

You finally let yourself be convinced - or rather Jungwon’s girlfriend forced you. Your best friend was excited to see Jungwon cheer for Jay and, of course, she didn’t leave you any choice.

The university stadium was full of screaming students, and the energy in the air was contagious. T/L immediately settled in the stands next to Jungwon, while you stayed slightly behind, trying not to look too out of place.

When the game started, Jay was a force of nature. Every time he hit the ball or made a strategic decision on the field, the audience burst into applause and screams. He seemed ready for the moment, with his natural talent and confidence radiating from every move.

'It’s amazing, isn’t it?' said Jungwon, looking at you with a smile.

' Admit it, you would never have thought he was so good.'

"Not bad," you admitted, though you avoided adding how impressed you were.

The game ended in a landslide victory for Jay’s team, and the applause was deafening. But as soon as he left the camp, Jay was surrounded by a group of girls, all eager to get his attention.

You watched the scene with a strange feeling in your stomach. There was something about the way he smiled at all of them, the way he seemed perfect, that bothered you. Why did it have to be like this? Why did he have to be good at everything and have the world at his feet?

"Perfect and unbearable," you murmured, trying to ignore the growing annoyance.

Later that night, as the crowd started to disperse, you found yourself in the parking lot waiting for T/L who was waving at Jungwon. You were exhausted, ready to come home and forget all that day.

But you didn’t notice Jay reaching for you, with a sports bag resting on his shoulder and his hair still slightly wet from the post-game shower.

«Hey,» he said, attracting your attention.

You looked at him, sighing. "Congratulations on the game. You did well."

«Just good?» he asked, tilting his head as he had that annoying grin you didn’t tolerate

"Okay, great," you said. "But you know already, I don’t know much about baseball but I saw that everyone was impressed by you, so don’t get your head in the game."

Jay laughed slowly, getting closer. «I wanted to thank you for coming.»

"T/L forced me," you said, crossing my arms.

«Sure» he said, with an enticing smile. «But you came anyway. Your support counts for me»

You roll your eyes. "If you’re done with your compliments, can I go? I’m tired and it’s so cold out here, I should have stayed in my room warm with Netlifx and a hot chocolate."

But when you tried to pass by him, Jay moved to block your way. It was not threatening, but his smile disappeared, replaced by a face she could not decipher.

«Why are you always so hard on me?» he asked, his voice getting lower and lower as she approached your body.

"Because you are... you," you replied trying to keep control. "You’re annoying, arrogant, and... and you seem to have it all. It’s frustrating."

Jay looked at you for a long moment, then did something unexpected. He came even closer, narrowing the space between you to almost touch your face.

«Words, sunshine» he muttered in a provocative tone but with an absent smile.

Before you could answer, Jay stooped down and kissed you.

You stood still, your heart beating fast, unable to move or think. It was a sweet and intense kiss at the same time as if Jay was trying to tell you something that words could not explain.

Jay touched your hips with his big arms and put you even closer to him to make you feel the warmth he felt only by kissing you, You put your hands in his chest covered with a jacket and he immediately let his tongue into your mouth and you muttered something undecipherable to the contact of your two mouths and the dance that they were doing their tongue.

When he finally broke off, he looked into your eyes with a serious but also slightly amused expression. «You were never just a game to me, Y/n.»

And before you could answer, he walked away, leaving you, confused and with a heart in turmoil.

You’ve been feeling like a disaster for days. The fever had forced you to bed and, unwillingly, you had to take a week off from work. A week in which Jay was left alone to run the cafeteria. Every day you called him, making sure everything was in order, that he knew how to do the most complex orders, and that he wasn’t spending his shift flirting with customers. Jay always replied in his usual playful tone, teasing her mercilessly.

«Don’t worry, sunshine» he said to you. «The cafeteria won’t burn, and yes, I remember how to put milk on. Although I can’t guarantee that it will be as perfect as when you do.»

And every call ended with him mentioning that kiss, making you blush even through the phone.

«Get well soon» he had said last time. «I might think of coming to check in person that you are resting»

"Don’t even try," you answered, in a tone that was more of a plea than a threat.

That night, you were wrapped in a blanket, watching an old movie while your head was still pulsing. He was almost asleep when you heard the bell ring.

"T/L? You open!" you shouted to your roommate, hoping she would hear you.

A few seconds later, you heard a sound of footsteps and then the incredulous voice of T/L. 'Oh my God.'

"What?" you asked with your eyes wrinkled and trying to get off the couch.

As you stepped out into the hall, the scene in front of you left you speechless: Jay Park, with a mischievous smile, stood there with a paper bag full of food containers and medicine.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, shocked.

«I thought someone should bring you food» Jay replied with a natural voice, entering as if it were his home. «And then I wanted to make sure you were alive. You were starting to sound like a ghost on the phone.»

T/L turned to you, wide-eyed and smiling.

T/L turned to you, wide-eyed and smiling. ' Jay, you’re amazing,' said your roommate, barely holding back a laugh. ' Oh, by the way, I should go to Jungwon. I don’t want to disturb... what’s going on here.'

"T/L", blushing deeply.

' Have fun!' T/L nodded to Jay and quickly left the door, leaving them alone.

You’re turning to Jay, still incredulous. "You shouldn’t have come here. I’m fine."

«You didn’t seem so well the last time you called me,» he said, placing the containers on the small table in the living room. «And then, it’s funny to see you so vulnerable.»

"I am not vulnerable," you replied with crossed arms, even though your voice betrayed the discomfort.

Jay smiled and started to arrange the food containers. I brought you homemade ramen, kimchi, and a tiramisu for dessert. I hope you like it...»

"You... can cook?" you asked, incredulous.

«I told you, sunshine. I can do many things» he replied, giving you a look that made you want to bury yourself.

As you ate together, the tension between you seemed to subside. Jay would tell you funny stories about working in the coffee shop, how he finally learned to make a decent cappuccino, and how he enjoyed watching customers ask for him.

«Of course, it’s not the same without you» he added, in a softer tone.

You blush again, trying to focus on his ramen. "Stop it."

«Stop doing what, sunshine?» he asked with a smirk.

"To say things that make you blush."

Jay came a little closer, putting his elbow on the table. «It’s too much fun to see you trying to hide behind that good girl mask and for a couple of months now it’s been my favorite game to make you blush.»

You looked up at him, trying to ignore him.

You looked up, trying to ignore him. But when Jay’s eyes got more intense, you felt his heart beat faster.

"Jay," you started, trying to keep control.

«Shh» he interrupted you. «Don’t say anything.»

And before you could protest, he leaned towards you, slowly approaching as if waiting for you to stop him. But you stood still, unable to turn your eyes from his eyes.

When your lips met for the second time, it was as if everything else disappeared. The world seemed to be reduced to that moment, to that kiss.

When you left, Jay looked at you with a smile as you tried to recover.

"What are you doing?" you asked, still incredulous.

«I told you so» he replied, in a light tone. «I am good at many things.»

You snorted, but couldn’t hold back a smile. The kiss had just ended. He did not move away immediately; instead, he put his hand on your back and began to curl it slowly, noticing that you were shivering.

«What’s the matter, sunshine» he asked, with a tone that mixed concern and curiosity. «Is it me who makes you shiver or is it still the fever?»

You shook your head, embarrassed, trying not to cross her eyes. "Don’t say nonsense."

Jay tilted his head slightly, amused. «Nonsense? Should I worry or feel flattered? I didn’t think you could get the thrills of pleasure just with my hands I can’t imagine when I will use...»

You looked at him very badly and did not answer, preferring to concentrate on anything other than him. But Jay, as always, was not going to let it go. «Okay, enough. You need to rest. And since you don’t trust me, I’ll take care of everything.»

Before you could protest, Jay picked you up like it was the most natural thing in the world.

«Jay! What are you doing?!" you cried, your face turning red even more than the fever.

«I bring a good girl to bed» he replied, smiling with his air of defiance.

You were slightly moved, but Jay held you tight as he carried you to your room. «If you move too much, you might drop me» he warned. «And we don’t want you to end up worse than that, do we?»

When he laid you gently on the bed, you looked at him with a combination of embarrassment and disbelief. "You shouldn’t have."

Jay shrugged. «Yes, we do. Now let’s see how badly you’re feeling.»

He took a thermometer from his bedside table and handed it to him. «Take your fever. Don’t argue, be good.»

You snorted but did as you were told. When the thermometer beeped, Jay took it to check.

«Almost 38. You need to rest» he said, in a tone that for once seemed genuinely concerned. He took a tablet from the bag and a glass of water from the nightstand. «Take this one. And don’t argue.»

You obeyed again, but the redness on your face was not just from the fever. Jay took off his sweatshirt and put it on.

«So you won’t be cold,» he said, placing it on your shoulders.

You looked at him surprised. "I don’t need your sweatshirt."

«Don’t be stubborn, sunshine. You know you’re a mess right now.»

You snorted again, but I tucked you into the sweatshirt, which still had its scent. Jay smiled triumphantly and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Why are you still here?" you asked, crossing my arms.

«Because I know you well enough to know that you will not take care of yourself properly», he replied.

"Jay, get out," you said, trying to keep a steady tone, even though it was hard with your weak body and that warm sweatshirt on.

«No» he answered, lying beside you with nonchalance. «I must make sure that you rest.»

"You don’t need to be here," you replied, trying to drive him away with a feeble attempt.

Jay, of course, did not move. He came a little closer, hugging you slightly.

"What are you doing now?" I asked, my voice full of disbelief.

«Keep you warm. It’s a green flag gesture, right? I read somewhere that you girls are crazy about these things» he replied, with his usual bold smile.

"You’re unbearable," you murmured, turning slightly toward him.

Jay laughed softly. «Maybe. But admit it, sunshine, you don’t mind so much.»

I didn’t answer immediately. The fever, the warmth of his presence, the scent of his sweatshirt... all contributed to your confusion.

"If you keep talking, I swear I’ll get up and throw you out," you finally murmured, trying to sound serious.

Jay smiled, stroking your hair softly. «I’ll let you talk then. With the fever, you are much more nice and tender.»

You looked at him, your lips curled in a half smile. "I shouldn’t let you stay here."

«Yet here I am» he replied, with a clever light in his eyes.

The morning light was filtering through the curtains, caressing your face. You stretched slowly, feeling much better than the night before, but your peace was interrupted when you realized that you were not alone.

There was a warm body next to you. Jay.

He was still there, hugging you as if it were the most natural thing in the world, his face relaxed in sleep and an arm holding you tight. He seemed incredibly serene, so different from Jay who teased you every day. He seemed... almost innocent.

You started laughing quietly, trying not to wake him. It was surreal to be in that situation, yet you couldn’t help but feel the warmth of that moment.

With a trembling hand, you found yourself moving without thinking too much. You began to gently touch his face, tracing the lines of his perfectly sculpted jaw, following the contour of his meaty lips.

Finally, your eyes fell on the small birthmark on Jay’s neck, a unique spot in the shape of a heart or butterfly, difficult to define, but incredibly charming.

As your finger lingered there, Jay slowly opened his eyes but said nothing. He had been awake for a while, but he wanted to enjoy that moment, your light touch that made his heart beat faster than normal.

When you realized he was awake, you suddenly blocked your face, turning a bright red. "Oh my God, I woke you up!"

Jay smiled, his voice still roaring from sleep. «I was already watching you.»

You looked at him with a mixture of embarrassment and disbelief. "Why didn’t you say anything?"

Jay leaned slightly, giving you a light kiss on the forehead. «Because I liked too much to feel you touching me. You can continue if you want. Maybe on my chest this time.»

You were left speechless, the shock mixed with a sudden urge to laugh. "You’re incredible. How can you be so cheeky even when you wake up?"

Jay shrugs his shoulders, pulling you back toward him. «It’s one of my talents.»

"You’re unbearable," you murmured, trying to push him away, but without too much conviction.

«Yet, you are here» he replied, with a satisfied smirk.

You sighed but did not move from his embrace. Even if you would never admit it out loud, being in his arms was not so bad. It was... pleasant.

Jay looked at you for a moment, his dark eyes shone with something deeper. «I didn’t know you liked me so much, sunshine.»

You looked up, trying to ignore your fast heartbeat. "Don’t get too excited, Park."

Jay was lying next to you, with a smirk printed on his face, as if he were in his natural element. You were still wrapped in the warmth of the bed and her sweatshirt, you looked more relaxed than the previous evening, but there was something in the atmosphere that had changed.

Jay, with his innate confidence, began to move his hand down your back, gently passing under the sweatshirt you were wearing. His fingers were warm and light, and the touch was more affectionate than intrusive, but it was enough to make you stiff for a moment.

"Jay," you mumbled

«I’m just making sure you’re comfortable, sunshine» he replied, with an innocent tone that contrasted with the cunning smile he threw at you.

You looked torn, but then, with a deep breath, you relaxed, leaning your head on Jay’s neck. Its familiar and reassuring scent surrounded you, making you feel more peaceful.

Jay kept drawing little circles on your back, his hand moving slowly, exploring but never going beyond a respectful limit. It was as if he wanted to see how far you would let him go.

But you decided it was time to turn the tables.

With a slight smile on your lips, you barely moved and began to place little kisses on Jay’s neck. It was a timid gesture at first, but when she noticed that he stiffened in surprise, your courage increased.

«What are you doing?» asked Jay, his voice suddenly lower and more stony.

You didn’t answer. Instead, you focused on the small butterfly or heart-shaped spot that you noticed the night before. With a light touch of your lips, you began to kiss, driven by an impulse that you could not control, you sucked her slightly.

Jay moans softly, an almost imperceptible sound, but enough to make you smile against his skin. It was as if, for the first time, I had found a weak spot in that self-confident boy.

«Y/N...» he muttered, but his voice had lost its usual impudence and there was something more sincere. There was a vulnerability, as if for once he wasn’t in charge of the game.

You pulled yourself slightly back, watching him with a smirk that was both sweet and provocative.

"What’s the matter, Jay? Don’t you like it when someone takes over or are you used to having everything right away?"

He looked at you, with dark eyes that shone a dangerous light and at the same time amused. «Oh, I like it. But don’t think I’ll let you beat me so easily.»

You slowly grovel, but before you can answer, Jay comes closer, his lips touching your forehead. His hand on the back became firm, holding you close to him.

«You’re playing with fire, sunshine» whispered to your ear, her voice low and sweet, but with a hint of challenge.

"And you think you’re the only one who can play?" You answered the smile that widened as you retreated against his chest again, satisfied to have turned, even for a moment, your usual balance.

Jay was silent for a few moments, a smile on his face. «You know what? I like this version of you. The one who knows how to stand up to me.»

"Someone must do it," you said, closing your eyes.

«And that someone is you, sunshine» When you heard that phrase from Jay you put yourself back near his legs, now completely on his knees as he sat leaning against the bed’s keyboard, and his arms were wrapped all around you and his face buried in your neck.

You started touching his chest under the over shirt he used to sleep in as pajamas and felt how sculpted his muscles were for the eternal hours of training on the other hand Jay was touching your neck all the time, His hands on your breasts as he pinched your nipples through his shirt, moaning at the feeling of your tits in his hands were perfect for his big hands and he couldn’t wait to stick you.

From time to time, his hands were going down your pussy, touching the spot where you needed attention most before he came up on your chest, and this time he was getting his hands in your body and getting rid of that pajama shirt.

When he saw you without a shirt had a slightly open mouth and immediately began to torture the left breast «This body is made to be mine, look until yesterday you were embarrassed and wanted to kick me instead you are here now to have your breasts licked and you touch your pussy» moaning quietly and after little Jay feel your pussy still covered in pants "Jay, can.... Can I make you feel good this time?" he looked at you with a smile hanging on and the excitement that grew more and more.

«Are you sure, sunshine? You don’t have to» you said yes with your head and you were slightly embarrassed you didn’t know where you had found that courage but he had been so good to you yesterday and you didn’t know how to thank him.

Jay helped you to take off his pants and boxer shorts, throwing his head back when your hands immediately went to find his cock and play with it. Burying his head in your pillows, he moans about your name, whining at the feeling of your hands finally wrapped around him after wishing for you for so long.

Jay was so big, thick, and muscular, that you’d get your mouth watering just to see him. He was so toned but so thick, and his cock fitted perfectly. God, the thought of that monster inside you had already made your eyes swirl, you didn’t know if you had sex with him that morning or another day but you knew that sooner or later you would want it only for yourself and no other girl.

You spat lightly into Jay’s cock and licked and sucked his already slightly pink tip, moaning at him as his eyes rolled back. He stood up slightly to see you with his cock in your mouth while you were fucking him, he gently took your hair and made a half tail and you licked him even more wildly.

«You are so good with your mouth, every time you answered me I would have kissed you or put my dick in you, sunshine... Fuck, you’re so pretty full of my dick» panted Jay, moaning against his cock, already thirsty for him while he pulled your hair harder to make you get even more in his dick.

«D-where do I come from? Fuck, I’m coming, it’s so nice, baby. Take it so well for me, shit...»

You were too busy choking on your dick to answer right away, so you had to take a minute to get away and catch your breath, replacing your mouth with your hand while holding the other.

«Do you want me to fill your mouth with my cum and liquid?» You wanted to answer him: please fill my mouth with your cum but you couldn’t talk and I shook my head while you pumped his cock even more into your mouth.

When Jay squirted and came into your mouth you tried to swallow every shred of his essence, moaning at his cock afterward as you licked every solitary drop coming out of your mouth.

In the end, you were completely exhausted and Jay was extremely shocked that the girl he had met a few months before yelling at him or giving him orders was now kneeling and exhausted for giving him the best blow job of his life.

You returned to work after having fully recovered, your spirit was back as usual: serious, focused on your goal.

The cafe seemed to be getting more crowded since Jay started working there, and to your surprise, it seemed to have become a familiar presence for everyone. Not only the employees but also the customers treated him as if he had always been part of the team as if Jay was meant to be there, comfortable among the smiles and daily chatter.

You were watching him, a little surprised by his ability to adapt and integrate so quickly but also it occurred to you what happened the other morning; would he make fun of you? Would treat you like a slut or even worse, not care? But for the little you knew Jay would never treat you like that, right?

Jay didn’t seem like the ordinary working type at all, yet he moved with an ease that left him almost speechless. He was always smiling, attentive to people, and perfect in his role. But there was something that bothered you while you were watching him: he seemed to put more effort into acting as a "good guy" than being a "social guy". It almost seemed like he was trying to impress you as if he wanted to show you something.

One afternoon, while you were serving at a table, a guy came in. He was the opposite of Jay in every possible way. Tall, with blonde hair and the look of a studious boy, but he had a disarming smile that had already made more than one client’s head spin. When he approached the bar, you noticed it immediately.

' Hello,' said the boy, with a sure smile, 'I’m Matthew. I saw you earlier in Psychology class and when I asked about you around everyone told me that I had to come to the university cafeteria to try one of your cappuccinos'.

You were a little embarrassed and you smiled back. You had never heard anyone make such a statement so directly. "Thank you... Which one do you prefer?"

The boy, coughing, handed you a note. ' Here’s my number, if you ever want to study with me. I don't know how to make a coffee outside of work, I would like to get to know you better.'

Jay, who was passing by them, couldn’t help but notice the interaction and hear the worst excuse invented in this world to ask a girl out. His look, at first indifferent, became more attentive when Matthew touched the arm of Y/N with a certain ease. There was something unusual in the air, an energy that he could not ignore. The tension between them was palpable, and Jay could not help but react.

He approached the bar with his quiet but determined step, and before you could say anything, he bent over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder with naturalness. «Hey, sunshine, all right?» he said, casting a sharp look at the boy.

Matthew raised an eyebrow, surprised by the gesture. ' Sorry, but... what’s going on? You’re... together? Nobody told me that you were engaged,' he asked, his voice now more cautious.

You were stiff, not knowing how to react. You wanted to make a joke, to take the tension away, but the situation was out of control.

Jay, noticing your discomfort, decided to take you by the arm, with a strong gesture but without violence. He lifted you slightly, bringing your face closer to yours as if to protect your space. «Yes, we’ve been together for a while,» he said with an enigmatic smile, looking at Matthew with an intensity that left little room for misunderstandings.

Matthew seemed puzzled but, with a last smile, he walked away, leaving the bar with a slight hint of frustration. Jay stood there, holding you for a moment longer than necessary.

You looked at him with bright eyes, mixing disbelief and a subtle anger. "What do you think you’re doing? You should not have gotten in the way," You said, trying to shake off his embrace.

Jay looked into your eyes, his smile concealing a slight hint of possessiveness. «I don’t like to share,» he said, his voice low and still. «And you are mine, Y/N. I don’t want others to think that I can have a chance.»

You stared at him for a moment, a mixture of emotions running through your face. But before you could answer, Jay pulled you back to him, bringing his lips closer to his in a kiss that, this time, left no room for doubt. It was not a kiss of passion, but one that seemed to define a boundary, a line that both now had crossed.

When they broke away, Y/N looked at him intently, the breath that was escaping her the fastest. "Don’t ever allow yourself to do that again," you said, but your tone was so fragile as if you were not so sure you wanted to keep that distance.

Jay smiled as if he understood something more than you. «Don’t worry. There’s no need to talk about it. I know how you feel. I want only want you.»

But Y/N, even as she struggled with the emotions that were starting to mount inside her, detached herself from him, looking at him with an indecipherable expression. " I’m not a toy, Jay. And I don’t want to be treated like that."

Jay watched you for a moment, but he didn’t answer. He felt conflicted with you, but somehow the bond you were building kept deepening. And he knew in his mind that he would never be willing to let go of someone like you.

The weekend had arrived and, as usual, the cafeteria was a mix of chaos and tranquility, but this time there was something different in the air. Jay had not shown up for work and not only that morning but for 3 days, and it was immediately clear that his absence weighed on you. You felt frustrated and, for the first time, even a little angry. You knew that Jay had his priorities, the baseball team above all, but you never would have imagined that he would disappear without even a warning, You had discovered that he went to Japan for a game thanks to the social media of the university team and I asked you where had gone the girl a few months ago who didn’t care about these things?

While you were making coffee, the thought of Jay skipping the weekend without telling you anything made you bite your lower lip. Maybe he thought you would understand, that you would be comfortable with his absence, but you weren’t the type who easily accepted being put on the back burner. Although you were always sympathetic to him, you felt slightly angry at the time for the feelings you were beginning to feel for him. After all, there were no signs that Jay would consider you a priority, were there?

"Why didn’t he even warn me?" you mumbled in a low voice

The hours passed and his frustration grew ever greater. The evening was coming and, although you had a lot to do, the thought of Jay did not leave you, in the maxi screen of the cafeteria came a lot of his friends including Jungwon to see the game late in the morning and everyone talked about him.

Perhaps you needed a break, to forget for a while its presence in the cafeteria and your heart.

That night you went back to the apartment and it was empty because T/L was from Jungwon. You took a hot shower but after a few minutes, you heard the beep of a message on your phone.

The news you were waiting for, or perhaps that you feared, had arrived: Jay was back in Seoul. And instead of going straight home, he went to your house without changing.

You looked at the message, uncertain whether to answer or not. "Why now?" you thought with a mixture of curiosity and irritation.

A few minutes later, you heard the bell ring, and when you noticed Jay appeared, with his bad boy air that seemed to be an integral part of him. He hadn’t even changed his team logo sweatshirt, but you noticed him right away, the one who knew how to draw everyone’s attention in the room.

«Hey,» he said, with his smile that had a shadow of sincerity that could not hide. «I thought it would be nice to stop by before going home. I missed you.»

You looked at him with a mixture of disapproval and disbelief. "You missed me? Yet you didn’t even have the decency to warn me that you wouldn’t come to work."

Jay stepped towards you, but you moved away from him so that he would not be too far behind. «I’m sorry,» he said sincerely. «The team needs me, you know. But... it’s not that. I really missed you. I didn’t think I would miss being away from you so much. I didn’t write because I wanted to give you some space for what happened in the bar with that guy...».

Jay’s words touched you more than you wanted to admit. But your anger didn’t go away so easily. Despite missing him, you couldn’t ignore the fact that he was gone without even giving her a warning.

"Here’s the bad boy that everyone loves, who goes away without a word," You said, trying to keep his coolness. "And now you’re coming back to me like nothing happened."

Jay looked at you intensely, and his smile slowly faded. He knew his actions had hurt you, but he couldn’t control his desire to be with you. Your presence was the only thing that made him feel...complete, even if he did not want to admit it out loud.

He came to you and put a hand gently on your cheek and with his thumb caressed it. «I didn’t want to upset you,» he said, his voice softer than it had ever been before. «I just want to be with you. You’re important to me.»

You felt your heart beat faster, and despite all that you had felt for his absence, you could not ignore the fact that Jay had always specially treated you, in a way no one else had ever done.

But you didn’t want to be just a "secondary priority" in his life. He’s tired of feeling like that as if you were just a hobby for him.

"Is it too much?" you asked him, a little angry. "Is it not enough that I make room for you in my life, Jay?"

He stared at you for a moment, and then, with a calm he had never before, wrapped you in a hug. «No. I never have enough,» he said, whispering to your neck. «Because you are the only thing I want and now I will show you.»

Jay pushes you into bed while he continues to kiss you and takes off that wrinkled shirt and the short shorts you used as pajamas, touches your panties slightly but he was rid of them immediately also, and lays you near the edge to make you come.

«Stretch it out more, darling, today I will make you feel good». His voice is hoarse as his hands go to press on your thighs until he has no sight of your sparkling pussy.

His cock is flinching at the sight of your beautiful pussy. Fuck. You’re dripping in your excitement, and all he did was kiss you. Yet, there is already a messy web of excitement covering your swollen lips. She growls slightly when she sees your beautiful pussy clenching for the need to have her fingers inside and his cock.

You’re milking gently when Jay presses his middle finger and index against your pussy to spread your lips. The warmth of his fingers is different from when you touch yourself it’s much better, "Jay more pls, it’s much nicer to feel your fingers around me than mine that are small". Jay, when he heard this phrase stopped for a moment to look at you, how was it possible that the girl who scolded him constantly touched?

Jay puts two fingers between your folds. He curls it and slowly pumps it, feeling your hot wet pussy stretch around his long fingers. Just as he thought you were tight and had to prepare you for his cock.

«Fuck, sunshine. You’re so sensitive and wet just for me» His growl is deep and makes you clench his fingers. «I need to taste you."

The excitement clouds your mind and makes you feel drunk as it pumps more and more of its long fingers around your pussy. The way Jay looks at you like you’re the thing he wants most in the world makes you gush out of his fingers. Her hot mouth clings to your clitoris, swirling her tongue around the sensitive bud. You scream as his fingers slowly start to fuck your hole, reaching out to prepare for his cock.

"Jay" You scream as you bow back, pressing your pussy against his face in search of release.

Your groans stop when he forces his tongue into the tightness of your pussy. The moans she gives you make you release more juices in her mouth while waiting.

«Fuck, Y/N.» Jay moans in your soggy pussy. «You have a sweet pussy, the most beautiful and the sweetest."

All you can focus on is the way his tongue penetrates you with a force that makes you see stars. He skilfully slides his soft tongue along your aching folds until all you can do is shout for him. Jay smiles between your folds, fingers slowly massaging you deep.

When you look down you see that he is looking at you with unconditional desire, Jay groans along with you as you come all over his face. His cock contracts against the sheets as you keep moving your hips to crush your pussy in her mouth. With a low moan, she continues, using her tongue to fuck you during your orgasm.

You’re a panting disaster when it moves away. His chin is covered by your release and for a moment you wonder how someone can be so fucking attractive.

«Are you ready?" said Jay as he took off his Calvin Klein boxer shorts and saw his cock already erect and how reddish

"I didn’t think the campus rock star would ask if a girl is ready to get fucked by him" You watched with your mouth slightly drooling as he slowly caresses, smearing the presenial liquid that drips from his thick tip all over his venous length.

«Stop teasing me, sunshine, that I have always been too good to you» His voice was sweet but at the same time decisive.

Jay lined up at your entrance and your hands were weaving in his hair, bringing it back to your lips. He immediately returned the kiss, slowly pushing his hips forward and wrapping himself in your tight warmth.

You frown, your lips separated from hers as your face twitched and a moan overflowed from your lips, quickly closing your mouth. «Fuck, you’re so tight, I thought I’d prepared you for sunshine»

You couldn’t say a word, the noises stuck in your throat as he practically split you in half with his dick. In the end, he hit the bottom with a strong push and you could hear every ridge and vein, a deep breath that left him while he spoke, his voice trembled, «I’m about to start moving»

«move Jay pls, I need to hear you» whispers, a whimper sliding from your lips as he pulls himself out, pushing back in faster than before.

You couldn’t think clearly, your mind was confused and completely focused on how good you were feeling at the time, how well jay was fucking you, setting a perfect rhythm, and making you feel so good with him.

"Jay, fuck," you mumbled, your hands moving on his neck, his arms, his back, wherever you could grab to root. The sound of skin slapping skin echoed quietly through the room and small moans came out of your lips.

«I will make you cum on my cock. I’ll let you understand that for me you’re not just a hobby but everything for me» he sighed, his hand coming down to press on your stomach, your eyes wriggling back for the pressure, «fuck, you’re taking me so well, sunshine, full of my dick»

He stopped for a second and grabbed your legs and pressed them against your chest, holding them there by the back of his knees as he started moving again, the new angle made him feel even deeper. " Fuck, oh my god", you whined, throwing your head backward against the pillow. Had practically locked you under his grip, unable to do anything but take it all.

A certain push pushed him up against your G-spot, and a broken jolt left your lips as you pulled his hair lightly and began to suck on the sweet spot you loved so much «Right there?»

"Yes, yes, please oh my god," you stammered. he sped up, hitting the perfect spot repeatedly. You feel your high growing fast, the band ready to break.

"I’m close," you whined, and his hand immediately went down to rub circles on your clitoris. The added stimulation pushed you even closer to the limit, your eyes closed.

«Me too, baby. I’ll fill you with my sperm» he groaned, his thrusts became sloppy as he approached the limit, "would you like, this time to be filled not your mouth but your pussy?»

"please, I need it. I need your sperm", you complain, your hands pulling the sheets harder as you feel the band in your stomach getting tighter, "I’m going to come!"

He accelerated his thrusts, rubbing harder on your clitoris, «come for me»

His words pushed you over the edge, your toes clenched and your eyes rolled back as your orgasm exploded, and your release poured out all over his cock. Your pussy squeezed tight around him, making it harder for Jay to move while he moaned, watching how your face writhed as you succumb to overwhelming pleasure.

«Fuck, baby. you hold me so tight. I’m about to come, I’ll fill you» his voice was choked and trembling, his hips were slamming against yours as he shot his sperm inside of you, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. He swung his hips slowly against yours, helping you both to overcome your heights.

Your breath slowed down as your body relaxed in the sheets, trying to process what had just happened. his forehead fell softly against yours as he pressed a sweet kiss on your lips before freeing your legs, making you put your weak body over his and squeezed you to himself, You still felt his cum gnawing off your pussy but were too exhausted to get up.

Jay sprayed your hair and gave you another little kiss on the forehead «Do you understand that for me you will never be a sunshine pastime? It’s from the first time I saw you that I dreamed of having you, but I didn’t think you had such a difficult character with me»

You laughed lightly against his neck and you leaned even closer to him as you heard his heart beating fast.

"I hope so for you, Jay, because even if at the beginning you irradiated me I always found you fascinating and as I am yours, you will be mine" Jay started to laugh and moved slowly to look you in the eyes. «I didn’t think my favorite barista could be so territorial with me, but I like sunshine!»

I hope you like it:) I had a lot of fun writing this one-shot about Jay🎸

comments and reblog are appreciated

©cutehoons02 all rights reserved 2025.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi, guys! Let's talk about fandom etiquette!

👨‍🏫👨‍🏫👨‍🏫

I know a lot of you are young and perhaps have not been part of fandom spaces since the dawn of time (circa fanfiction.net) so let's talk about some dos and don'ts with fandom, so we can keep this a happy place! Please read this and reblog to get this out to people who genuinely may not know!

📕DON'T: Write reviews of fics on Tumblr, Tiktok, or other social media. Fic writers are creating these things for FREE, and did not ask you to review. This often leads to negative discourse and can even cause fic writers to take down their fics. 📗DO: Leave kudos and ONLY POSITIVE comments. Talk about only positive things on social media. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

Edited to add: YES, EVEN CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISCISM. If the author didn't ask for it, don't give it. Some may appreciate it, but others won't. At the very least, ask permission first.

📕DON'T: Post fic ideas or headcanons on AO3. AO3 is for posting actual fanfiction or fanart and nothing else. (What I mean by this is, I've seen posts on ao3 like "Just posting an idea that someone should write, here it is!" and that's not what ao3 is for). Edited to add: You can also post original works and nonfiction works based on fandom on ao3! 📗DO: Post headcanons and ideas on Tumblr, Tiktok, etc!

Edited to change: Okay, so I feel like there's some arguments over like...what qualifies as metafic versus something that shouldn't be on AO3? So from my understanding (correct me if I'm wrong), people DEFINITELY should not be posting just a title with no work attached, which I have seen a lot lately, nor should they be posting to search for someone else's fic. However, it seems like lists, and similar metafic are okay, as well as original content, and nonfiction.

📕DON'T: Repost entire fanfictions without permission or sell bound fanfiction. Again, this causes writers to take their fics down, and can actually cause issues with fandom because it can cause allegations of copyright infringement. 📗DO: Recommend fics you like to others by talking them up and posting links! Ask permission before you translate!

📕DON'T: Send hate to authors for writing a fic in a way you don't like or not updating enough. Again, authors are doing this for free and sending hate causes serious mental harm to authors because they are people! If you don't like it, don't read it! 📗DO: Send love to authors in forms that they are comfortable with!

📕DON'T: Shame others for their ships/fics/kinks. Fandom is supposed to be a supportive space! Judging people is taking away that safe space! 📗DO: Use the block button! Block or filter out things or people you don't like!

📕DON'T: Use AI to create art or fics. This is detrimental to the creators who work hard to create their work! 📗DO: Try making your own art or fics! Practice makes perfect!

These are just a few of the things that I've seen happening more lately, but keep in mind that if you don't like something, you don't have to interact with it and fanart and fanfiction creators are people who are doing this for free. Please make sure to respect the hard work people put in, or fandom can't exist!

(Feel free to discuss/add things as long as you're being respectful!)

[saintzweig]

i came across a video of that one trend from 2020/21 where you try to kiss your best friend for the first time and that's like ... so art donaldson coded. the two of you being really close and touchy with each other but never really thinking anything romantic of it, you were just so comfortable and safe in each other's presence and you never really thought about how other people might see it.

until a friend of yours pointed out how art stares at you whenever you're talking, his eyes full of admiration and the way his body leans towards you, giving you full attention. everybody can see how he acts like a puppy in love except you, until you saw it yourself. your friend's words echoed in your mind, making you too aware of how art acts around you.

now you're overthinking about how he might feel about you and vice versa, so your friend suggested you kiss him, out of nowhere. see how he responds and how you feel about it. what if it goes wrong? what if he doesn't want you to kiss him? "just set up a camera and if it goes badly, tell him it's for a stupid tiktok"

and maybe you were the stupid one for taking their advice, but you're here now. the two of you on the couch, art focused on his video game and you staring at the your phone that was propped up on the coffee table. you have nothing to lose, it's not like you're gonna end up losing your most valued friendship for a kiss and jumping to conclusions ...

with a sigh, you finally decide to just get on with it. calling out his name softly to catch his attention but his eyes remain glued to the screen infront of you, "hm?"

"can you look at me? i need to tell you something" your play with your fingers nervously on your lap.

he stays silent for a few seconds, only the sounds of him fidgeting with the controller can be heard. "can it wait, angel? i'm nearly done here"

and you almost agreed, but then you're going to have to hype yourself up all over again just to get it over with. so without warning, you grab his face with your hands and pull him closer towards you, placing your lips against chapped ones. your eyes were closed shut and you were stiff against him, you're certain his eyes are wide open in shock. you pull away after a few seconds, a soft smack filling the awkward air.

the eye contact that followed felt like hell, you can feel your face getting hot and red while art looked like he just saw a ghost.

"i– uh, i'm sorry that was for–" before you can even point at your phone, he drops the controller and grabs your waist, almost pushing you down on the sofa as he reconnects your lips once more. his lips now softer and the kiss tender, your fingers finding its own way through his blonde curls.

he rests his forehead against yours once he pulled away, the two of you catching your breath before bursting into laughter. "i think we're gonna have to keep doing that more often"

[fivewholeminutes]

How to avoid being spoiled with ST members' identities

A not so short guide for tumblr newcomers

Hello new fans and (probably) tiktok refugees! This is a guide on how to enjoy sleep token online without being spoiled and also, a guide on how not to be a twat at the same time.

It is rather long, but please give it a chance. If not for you, then for other people who do not want to be spoiled.

I was thinking about making a reminder post about it for ages and recent post from @zelink-stan02 inspired me to make it sooner!

Tumblr is one of not many places online where the chances of you getting jumpscared with the guys' faces and names are minimal. You're not completely safe here, but it's still way better than on other platforms. And a lot of users try to keep it that way.

So, the basics for people who want to avoid spoilers online!

No twitter. That is a place of no honour. No exceptions. Nothing good ever comes from ST twitter. Also i am not calling it x.

Tiktok is also not safe. But most of you probably know that.

Pinterest is a super quick way to see all their faces.

Idk about facebook, but i bet there are morons commenting with their legal names there too. Like on twitter.

Googling is very tricky. Image results will most likely show you their faces among 20 first photos and if you do google them. Well. The main search used to show the names as suggestions up here before; I'm glad to see that for now this is fixed:

BUT LO AND BEHOLD. Pictures tab gives you a treat (derogatory) of a full vessel's name RIGHT THERE:

First suggestion. They're not even trying. So yeah, googling is very tricky.

I didn't scroll further to the right, but i bet ii's name is there too. (Their names are spoiled most often, cause they're writing the songs.)

7. If you look for the lyrics, google sometimes shows vessel and ii's legal names in songwriters' credits. I haven't seen it recently, but it doesn't mean you won't see [redacted] instead of "Vessel 1" and so on in the credits. Try not to scroll too far when checking the lyrics. I think Apple music shows their names in lyics all the time, someone correct me if I'm wrong though.

FORTUNATELY,

if you want pictures, band info, older rituals' shenanigans etc. etc., we have real mvp's here on tumblr!

@sleepanonymous has it all. Including an archive of band-related stuff and also older (mostly) vessel's stuff without any names or faces revealed. Just older songs, if you're curious! Sleep Anon has a neat google drive archive too. Please check the tags and other links in their pinned post!

We also have another pillar of our community here, @thesleeptokenarchive, who shares older rituals' details, song release dates and many other important information and dates.

My dear friend @a-s-levynn created this beautiful archive with band pictures for people who want to find that very specific picture without having their faces spoiled. Behold, the Sleep Token Reference Archive (STRA). Perfect for artists, but not only!

Beautiful people @kaddyssammlung, @vulcanette and @chaosandchaos are posting cool band photos they find regularly. Others too, but these three are the most active! We're also lucky to have @hecetas here, posting their original photos of the band (and not only!)

Also, The Choir is not anonymous. The band itself shared their actual name, Espera, and the ladies are not faceless. It was their decision, band supported it, so you don't need to worry to keep them anonymous.

Last but not least! How not to be a twat in the sleep token fandom space on tumblr:

Do not tag any band-related stuff with their names or older projects' names.

Do not post photos of their faces and tag it as the band or band members.

If you want to sceam about the love you have for that one older Vessel's project, the not solo one, you can do it here: @wings-of-clay

If you are a curious being and face/names reveals don't mean much to you, you can always scream about their past projects with your closest friends in the DMs. Or ask literally anyone here if they want to talk about those things without revealing those things' names publicly. Most of us have their faces and names spoiled anyway. But trust me, you don't need to put any names for us to understand what you mean.

Not exactly a tumblr thing, but! One of the band members streams on twitch. It is an unspoken rule to NOT mention anything band-related in the chat. No "worship", no band name, other members' names, nothing. He wants to keep those things separate. You get blocked there or he stops streaming for everyone if you're too pushy.

And remember folks, digging too much into their personal lives guarantees a court case against you!

I'm not joking. There is a person who is going to face charges for being way too parasocial and stalker-y about them. Do not be like that person. This applies to all public figures, not only sleep token. But some people take anonymity as a challenge to dig even deeper for all their info.

Last, but not least! I have the names spoiled and i don't mind talking about old projects and stuff. So I'm here for you if you want to google something, but are afraid of a face reveal, or if you just wanna talk about the older stuff (tho i admit, i don't know much about previous bands/projects of all of them). However, I will not be engaging in anything related to their private lives or families and I will block you on spot if you mention anything like this to me.

[at0michips]

home sweet home — josh o'connor

summary: your long distance boyfriend decides to move all the way to NYC so you can live together, but with all the work he has to deal before he can enjoy it, you decide to take care of the move. now after long weeks apart he's back.

Today was the day, where Josh was finally going to come back home after months of doing press all over the world and the country. Well, not exactly home. Yes it was his house, and yes he was going to live there with you after a year and a half of being together, but with two new movies out and a whole press tour that included being only a few hours away from you and your new house in New York, to being literally across the world, the poor english man didn't had the time to be there to even unpack the things he brought from England or the ones you bought together.

However, you promised yourself this wouldn't be a problem at all. He did what he had to do and you would be there no matter what, of course it was kind of energy draining to deal with your work and moving in but you made it! You would finally be able to be with him by the end of the day, and the dinners wouldn't have to be over facetime anymore with a different time zone. Not complaining tho, you were forever grateful for when your boss sent you to England to cover an event were you met you now boyfriend.

You were so excited that you could also feel a little anxious too, making sure that even after everything was on it's place for two weeks now, there wasn't anything wrong. Not like Josh would get in the apartment and start pointing out the things you could have done better, he wasn't that kind of person, and he also knew better that going against you but you just couldn't help but want everything to be perfect for your first night together in your own house to be just perfect.

And apparently everything was just fine, his favorite meal was in the oven and shouldn't be ready for at least the next 30 minutes, meaning you had plenty of time to do nothing. With that in mind, the wine bottle on the countertop that you bought on your way from work seemed perfect to ease your nerves while you waited for Josh to come home, wich by your counts could happen anytime now.

Time actually flew after your second glass of wine and sometime (you have no idea of how much) scrolling through tiktok that you were actually surprised when you heard the doorbell, and with that you looked like an anxious kid running barefoot to open the door to see the person you were craving to see for weeks now. The first thing you do is throw yourself at him who's more than ready to catch with his strong arms and lift you up just a little bit of the ground.

"Oh my god I missed you so so much!" you said before attacking his cheek with kisses. You could finally hear his pretty laugh close to your ear and the fact that it wasn't through a phone call was so relieving.

"It seemed like forever without you luv." he said putting you back on the ground with a stupid smile on his face, while he admired you for a moment before connecting your lips together in a quick kiss. The man ahead of you looked exhausted yet so happy to finally meet you again for what felt like ages.

After realizing you guys were still outside of your house, you take his hand and pull him inside, excited for finally having him to yourself.

"You're making dinner? It smells amazing in here" he said with an excited tone as he entered your now oficially shared house and locked the door behind him.

"Guess what it-" but before you could finish your sentence he was already taking a look in the oven "Josh no! Why are you like this?" you pouted.

"Aw babe, I can't believe you did my favorite." he said turning back to face you and failed to hold a laugh after looking at your frown "M'sorry for antecipating the surprise luv, i'm starving!" he took your cheeks into his hands and lowered himself a bit to give a peck into your lips, that immediately made you melt into the man's hands.

"Okay, but next time wait until I finish my line. Now go wash your hands." you said with the demanding tone Josh missed for what felt like an eternity.

The male did as you told him so and went to the bathroom to wash up as you took the dish into the dining room, serving each of your plates with the food you made and your glasses with the already opened wine. Everything was ready when he got back, and you guys proceeded with the dinner, sharing stories from each other works, giving updates about friends, family and silly things from your routines.

It seemed like you guys were never apart from each other, like this was just another regular night of your little life together and not the first from what you hoped would be forever. After dinner, the man decided that the dishes could wait until tomorrow, he didn't wanted you to work more. He knew your weeks has been exhausting, having to wake up early, do your job and then take care of the small renovation in the house and the move. And he knew that today even after the apartment was ready, you haven't stopped, going to work and then making him dinner after arriving.

What has he done to deserve someone so caring? That thought didn't left his mind for one second the whole night, and he was determined to make you feel the same, at least a little bit. With that in mind, you guys went straight to the bathroom of your suite to take a shower together.

It was such a sweet and intimate moment. Of course it wasn't the first time you guys took a shower together, but there was something about his gentle hands on your shoulders and all the way down your back while he kept up a small conversation about the little things he noticed around the apartment that just made this moment so special for you. In your eyes this was real intimacy, being able to be naked and so close and yet don't feel the need to be having sex with each other. Of course you were missing him in bed, god how many times you had to please yourself while he was away, but for now that moment felt like it was enough for both of you.

After the bath, you put on your pajamas and were now on your shared bed with some of the gifts the british man bought you during the press tour. Most of them came with a "oh this one reminded me of you" wich just melted your heart.

"I figured this one we could use together, what do you think?" he said holding a face mask next to his face. You laughed, like how cute could a 34 year old man be?

"Of course my lord." you said with a fake british accent and started tying up your hair while he rolled his eyes at your mocking and proceeded to open the packages.

"And now what?" he asked as you tidy up the mask on his face.

"Well, the package says we have to wait 10 minutes and then take it off." you get up and start to put away your gifts and hear the body of your boyfriend dramatically fall back in your bed, to wich you return with your everyday lotion in hands.

"Let me take care of it for you." he sits up and basically takes the lotion out of your hands and motioned for you to lay down "Relax for a bit, you must be tired...".

He's right, luckily is a friday night and you won't have to worry about waking up early in the morning for the next two days. So you do as he said and lay your head on the pillow and just enjoy the sensation of his long fingers coated with your lotion massaging your feet, slowly working his way up your leg. You smile at the sight of Josh caressing your skin so carefully, his face so concentrated but it was impossible to take him seriously with that mask on that you closed your eyes, choosing to just enjoy your broyfriend's affection.

It must have been the wine, the calming sensation on your face and the loving touch of your boyfriend, but after your eyes closed it only took five minutes for you to doze off. Josh laughed a bit when he realized that, he gently left your feet in the bed while he stood up to put away your lotion and turn off the lights, coming back to carefully take the mask off of your face, taking his own next.

The man stretched himself before laying by your side and pulling the covers up both of you. He was so tired of the long flight, but so grateful for you to be there, always caring so much for him, the thought of going back to his house in England was boring, but after getting to be with you tonight it sounded even worse, it would be sad. There wouldn't be nobody to receive him by the door, or a warm dinner for him to eat, or someone for him to share how exciting it was to be all over the world and have his work recognized by millions of people.

You shifted in your sleep finding your way to his chest and he could swear that this was the moment his heart melted. It wasn't only today, he had noticed your effort all around the house, how you made sure all his favorite stuff had a visible place so it could be exposed or put to use. He wrapped his arms around you and closed his eyes, slowly giving in to sleep with a warm feeling in his chest. He was finally at home.

[nadvs]

Hello! Im the anon who asked for a fic with rivaly at college 😍 OMG! I love what this turned in to. You are an incredible writer!! I hope you know that. You have me hooked. You write dialog amazingly. It feels so real. Never stop writing!!

Can you write something about when she get jealous? Maybe when he is in the NBA?

Hope you have a great day!

Love from Sweden

HIII omg it’s such a good premise!! i remember being in love with it the second i read your ask 🙂‍↕️ thank you so much 💘 i’m so touched that people like the au and want more of it 🥹

based on this fic

» au masterlist

rafe can get wildly, intensely jealous. and while they often joke about how similar they are, that’s one trait she doesn’t share with him. until he gets signed and moves away.

he doesn’t have as much time for texts and calls. he’s training with his new team, working up to the season. she gets it. or at least, she tries to.

she already had unwelcome thoughts swimming in her head when he had been signed to a team states away about him getting lost in the fame and potentially being unfaithful. she never worried about him cheating before. and she hates that she’s doing it now.

but she tries to keep it in. things between them are already tense. accusing him of something just because she’s insecure isn’t fair and will likely just push him away.

then, she visits him. they share their first i love you’s. they’re in a good place.

but when the season starts, that’s another story. it’s surreal seeing her boyfriend play on tv on such a massive scale, thousands of seats surrounding the court filled. she’s so happy for him and whenever the camera focuses on him, she can tell he’s nervous and she loves that she’s the only one in the world who knows it.

but then between periods, she catches glimpses of his team’s cheerleaders before the cuts to commercial. and she can’t lie to herself that these girls are beautiful. and she wonders if maybe he already lived out the college fantasy. maybe now that he’s a professional player, he’ll have his eyes on professional cheerleaders. or really, any girl, because she’s sure he could get any girl he wants.

as the season goes on, because she likes to keep up with the nba on social media, specifically him and his team, her tiktok automatically shows her videos and edits of her boyfriend, some comments from fans about how he’s the next best thing, but most from girls going crazy over how hot he is.

it puts her into a funk. he sees gorgeous cheerleaders at every game. he gets comments on his instagram from beautiful girls. the internet is losing their mind over him. how can she possibly compare?

so, the next night she’s on facetime with him, she can’t hold it back any longer. after they talk about their days, she starts to pick at a string on her shirt, looking down.

“so…” she says. “do you ever get a chance to talk to the cheerleaders?”

rafe looks at her with knitted brows. she’s been off since she picked up the phone, seemingly mad at him. it’s not like them to not be direct.

“baby, what’s wrong?” he asks.

“nothing,” she lies. “just wondering if you ever talk to them. they’re good dancers.”

he hates the way her lips are turned into a frown, her eyes off the screen.

“i only wanna talk to one cheerleader and she’s pretending she’s not mad at me right now,” he says.

this earns a smirk from her.

“they’re all so pretty,” she says. “i’m not blind. and you’re not, either. there’s no way you haven’t noticed them.”

“i moved here to play,” rafe tells her.

“and you know girls online are going crazy for you,” she continues. “don’t act like you haven’t seen all the comments on your instagram.”

rafe studies her image on the screen.

“you know you have nothing to be jealous of, right?” he says. he hates to admit it, but it’s kind of flattering, especially because she isn’t usually the intensely jealous type. it shows him she still wants him.

she sighs. of course he sees right through her. not like she’s being subtle anyway.

“i do, though,” she says. “and maybe it’s stupid to talk about because i’m annoying you and making you feel like i don’t trust-”

“you’re not annoying me,” he interrupts. “you’re being really cute, actually.”

“cute,” she scoffs, her eyes still low.

“look at yourself on your phone,” he says. she rolls her eyes and obliges, gazing at her reflection on the screen.

“now what?” she mumbles.

“if you can’t see how beautiful you are, maybe you are blind,” he says.

“stop,” she laughs softly. “it’s not that i don’t trust you. it’s just that… it has to feel like a waste to be getting all this attention and ignoring it all because of some girl back home, doesn’t it?”

“some girl,” he echoes. “you think you’re just some girl?”

she shrugs. his chest aches.

“you’re my best friend,” he says. “i wouldn’t fuck this up for anything or anyone in the world. you’re it for me.”

her vision blurs with tears. she flattens her lips together and finally nods.

“sorry,” she says weakly.

“for what?”

“for being so jealous.”

“i already told you it’s cute,” he says. she smiles again.

“i love you, okay?” she mumbles.

“i love you, too, okay?” he teases.

they talk for another hour, then she tells him she needs to go to sleep so she’s not totally exhausted for her morning lecture. he has the day off the next day, so he stays up a bit longer on his phone after they hang up.

when she wakes up, she sees hundreds of instagram notifications on her phone. rafe posted a photo of them from the last time she visited, tagging her with the caption: All I need.

before she even gets out of bed, she’s crying. because of how good he is to her. because he’s telling the world he belongs to someone already. because she’s sure that he loves her just as much as she loves him.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

[eyeheartboobiez]

-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 6!! 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗂𝗍💕

liked by bigdickgrayson, cass.cain, and others

@rred_hood: hey guys. sorry for the radio silence, but i needed some time to figure things out w/ everything that’s been going on. just to give a quick update: these past few months i’ve been working on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. mostly though, i need to re-evaluate the people i allow to be in my life vs. the people i actually want around.

as you all know, artemis and i were seen out together a couple of months back, despite our very toxic relationship in the past. i’ve mentioned her abuse towards me here and there before, but now i wanna set the record straight.

me and artemis were NEVER happy. point blank. the first few months of our relationship seemed amazing, sure, but every moment after that felt like hell on earth. im not gonna go into the specifics of her treatment towards me (bcs frankly it’s not anyone’s business but mine), but the only reason we met up last month was to hopefully make peace with what happened during the time we were together.

as for the copyright situation and my alleged involvement in it; everything will be revealed before of the judge. while im legally not allowed to speak on it at this time, i will go ahead and apologize in advance for the news you’ll be hearing in the upcoming days…

before i post this, though, i publicly want to say this: @y/nforeal im GENUINELY sorry for any of the pain or stress all of this has caused you. i betrayed your trust, and have absolutely no expectations for you to forgive me. believe it or not, every second of our time together felt like pure bliss, and you’re the last person i ever wanted to hurt. i sincerely hope that you get everything you’ve ever dreamed of in life, regardless of whether i get to be part of the journey, or have to cheer you on from afar.

to end off, anyone who really supports me knows idc to involve myself in drama, so please, all i ask is that you be patient with me as i figure out a way to right my wrongs. peace✌🏻

View all 1,521,791 comments

user1: all the jason antis looking mad goofy rn💀

⤷ user2: this man js opened up about his trauma and you’re staring fan wars… get a life fr

user3: praying for ur peace jay🙏

user4: yea enough is enough artemis need to be locked up for life

⤷ user5: matter fact, put her under the jail

user6: i just hope that y/n understands🙁

— comments were turned off —

Case Closed, Artemis Grace headed straight to the slammer! Where does this leave us now? (2/27/2023 1:42 PM PT)

From TikTok, to Instagram; almost all of social media has been flooded with people's response to the verdict of one of the biggest cases in Hollywood right now. Fans all over the internet have been posting nothing but support of the court's ruling. The hashtag "#WHOMPWHOMP" has even found itself trending on twitter in response to Artemis' behavior displayed throughout the trial.

The celeb's unsavory etiquette is nothing new though. From sobbing in the witness stand, to lashing out at her own lawyer, Artemis has shown nothing but discomposure since the day charges were pressed against her. But, for everyone new here, let's start from the beginning.

For those who may not have been keeping up with the story, back in September, acclaimed singer Y/N Y/LN took legal action against Artemis Grace on the grounds of copyright infringement. After months of speculation, investigators found that Grace had illegally distributed a song that had absolutely no business being in her possession in the first place.

Although the track was taken very favorably by fans and casual listeners alike, the actual artist was nowhere near pleased. Once sharing her feelings about the situation online, Y/N immediately put her emotions into a new album, the same album that led her to receive the first grammy of her career.

Aside from the copyright violation though, Artemis is also being sued for causing emotional distress in regards to all the drama she got wrapped up in with her ex-boyfriend, Jason Todd.

While Jason and Y/N were presumed to have been dating since March of last year (if not earlier), that fantasy was quickly ruined when Artemis and Todd were caught being uncomfortably close with each other outside of a club last August.

Of course, many fans on both sides were reasonably hurt by the news. Those who have been following Y/N for a while now may know that she has had trouble opening up to people in the past; something she has expressed quite a bit in her music. So, when word broke out that Jason seemed to be playing with her feelings, her supporters were beyond furious.

Even songwriter Cassandra Cain, Jason's adopted sister, made sure to support Y/N in every way that she could. The two have been friends for years now, having officially met back in 2020 at the billboard music awards. While Cassandra isn't a woman of many words, she made sure that her actions spoke volumes.

Late last year, she helped Y/N write one of the songs for her latest album, basically ensuring her win at this year's Grammys. Outside of music though, posts have been made by the two besties seemingly having the time of their lives.

Between the high emotions and the immense camaraderie being shown, fans have come to the conclusion that both women may have gotten together at some point while working together.

Without a doubt, there was an obvious tension between the duo while doing promotions for their shared single. Cassandra, though a notable lesbian icon in the community, has yet to speak up on the rumors (and, knowing her, probably never will).

Back to the legal proceedings, the heartbreaker in question was also present during Artemis' trial. In order to shed some light on the story, Jason Todd appeared before the court as a witness in hopes of ensuring that Y/N wins this case.

Unlike Artemis, Jason showed nothing but absolute remorse for his actions. About a month ago, the Gothamite made a post to his instagram page detailing the shame he felt by being involved in such acts, although in reality he had little participation to begin with.

While on trial, it was found that Todd actually had little to no involvement with the illegal distribution of the track. In fact, Artemis herself confessed that he only talked about Y/N having a song that was "in the works". He also revealed to her that the track was "something his girlfriend (had) dedicated it to him", thus confirming our suspicions of their relationship status.

Alongside this, she also admitted that their meet up back in August originally had nothing to do with music, nor were they trying to rekindle their disastrous affair. Jason did state that he was notably intoxicated that night, while Artemis indicated that she "hadn't had anything to drink" prior to their conversation.

In the end, after the grueling legal battle, Artemis is soon to be locked up after receiving a firm guilty ruling from the judge. The now former singer has been sentenced to three years in prison without possibility of parole, in addition to paying $25,000 as compensation for emotional distress.

Outside the courtroom Y/N and Jason were seen speaking together away from everyone else, as well as sharing a meaningful hug before parting ways. The heartwarming image that was caught by paparazzi has given shippers more than enough hope that the two celebs can hopefully rekindle the love they once had.

a/n: thoughts?

taglist: @din0o0o @cipheress-to-k-pop @bonnie-tz @phatnyash420 @rwylm-things @sheluvv-gambino

[babybells123]

I recently posted about Sansa Stark on TikTok particularly concerning themes of beauty, love and romanticism (Jonsa if you SQUINT)!! It’s gotten over 2000 likes so far, and the comments have all been positive, but I just received a comment saying “Aegon VI will save her” and had to resist the urge to scratch my eyes out …

Look, I for one want nothing more than for Sansa to be with a man who loves her undoubtedly (and chooses her over her claim, countering all the previous men who have been betrothed to/married to/attempted to abuse Sansa). But I find it incredibly ironic that this is likely an individual who is aware of the Ashford Tourney (hell, maybe they’re even aware of the really subtle Targaryen imagery in Sansa’a chapters - but only if they’re in conjunction with Aegon VI, certainly not the secret cousin who just so happens to also be a Targaryen)… but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are an alt shift x fan who has watched his brief Ashford Tourney video which barely scratches the surface of the theory (and I too, enjoy Alt’s videos so don’t get me wrong here) but here’s what bothers me - why is the fandom so incredibly intent on ‘proving’ that it is Aegon?

He could be the loveliest, kindest man alive and I still wouldn’t budge on my stance of this marriage doing absolutely nothing to progress Sansa’s narrative arc organically.

How does it challenge her belief of conventionality? Particularly concerning southern ideals of beauty? What is the whole point of Sansa retracting from her current journey, travelling South yet again to marry a man whom she’s never met before? We’ve already been made privy to how wary Sansa is of Harry the Heir, for he could be a “comely monster,” she knows that beauty is deceptive - so already she’d be experiencing those similar feelings of despair … What purpose would it serve to send Sansa back to King’s Landing? A place where she was abused and married against her will? The place where her father was murdered in front of her eyes? The place where she was hostage with no true friends and no family to trust or rely on? Walking on eggshells every day of her life? These are all negative associations. Anyone with eyes and a brain can see that Sansa’a arc is pointing North.

This is the same girl who spends hours building a scale model of her home, Winterfell - in the snow. This is the same girl who refers to herself as the blood of Winterfell, the daughter of Lord Eddard and Lady Catelyn - who derives strength from that in the face of her abuser. This is the same girl who at the age of 11, manages to dissociate when faced with the head of her father on a spike, looking North and North until she can see Winterfell in her mind’s eye, whose direwolf - part of her soul, is buried in the North ; who to quote Ned “belongs in the North.” This is the same girl who has been passed around like a vessel of politics since her very first betrothal. Who has been viewed as nothing more than a claim to a vast Kingdom, who is not allowed to exercise that claim in her own right. Who has been denied her inheritance on the basis of her marriage to Tyrion - not just by Stannis , but also by the brother she has loved and idolised (and isn’t that just heartbreaking for Sansa?) - need I remind you of the one single person in this entire series who has not overhauled Sansa’s claim ? Despite it being the one thing he’s ever truly wanted? His hearts most intrinsic desire??

“By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa." (Jon I ADWD)

“Jon said, "Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa." (Jon IV ADWD).

I mean, those two phrases in conjunction with;

“It is not me she wants her son to marry, it is my claim. No one will ever marry me for love.” (Sansa VI ASOS) - which as we know, is followed by a Jon chapter just a page later.

Jon has already unknowingly refuted half of Sansa’s despairing words, as well as silently fulfilling those knightly ideals she believes no longer exist.

So yeah, it annoys me beyond belief when people “theorise” that Sansa will marry Aegon VI/Young Griff. Because it removes her agency yet again, it pushes her further away from her identity and her home that she has slowly but surely been reclaiming - she goes five steps backwards, and regardless of whether you like her character or not, from a writing perspective and how character arcs are meant to unfold - it really doesn’t make sense for her to go back to the place where she has been tormented for most of the series - but then, who am I kidding - these are the same people who don’t believe sansa is an important character and that her arc will either remain stagnant or she’ll just be pushed out of the way whilst other characters are allowed narratively conclusive endings.

But even with all this, even with Valarr Targaryen being a non-Targaryen looking prince with brown hair described as a black prince with a white guardian (gee, I wonder whose image THAT invokes), even with GRRM sitting down and writing a family tree where a Jonnel ‘One Eye’ Stark marries a half niece called Sansa Stark to solve a succession crisis. Quite literally spelling it out on paper for people this fandom just cannot come to any logical conclusions that would make sense narratively, thematically, politically and on a character level. It truly blows my mind.

*sigh.* I’m very tired.

Anyway, to quote GRRM; resolve to be Sansa Stark and take the North. ✌️

[megismyname]

I've been curious why you haven't been doing your 'lives' lately, and really kinda wanting them. The few that you had, brought me a sense of comfort. But tonight, I ventured onto another person's live, and saw that they were having to constantly dodge comments from trolls.

I don't know if everyone feels this way, but I feel we are in a good place right now. We have been given beautiful, chess playing, crumbs recently from Nicola and her 'Team'. Even with the minor setbacks, everything is still good.

So just want to say that I get why you haven't been doing your lives, is because you don't want to let the negative spoil the positive message we've been given.

Hi there!

Short answer: I've been having a phase of being "over" Tiktok.

Longer answer: I am not a person who holds their tongue very well. I speak my mind and I tell people what I think about them when they are in the wrong. There are quite a few "larger" creators in this fandom who were taking it upon themselves to "educate" the fandom and become the moral police. Now to be fair, I am now blocked by most of them so my life is pretty blissful but it doesn't mean their toxic ramifications do not trickle down.

I find it very important to let you know that I am not afraid of trolls or toxic people and I will not cower to them. These are insecure people on the internet who are typically hiding behind the face of a celebrity - around here that's usually Nic - and that empowers them to speak the way they do. I guarantee if you met them on the street, they wouldn't say 75% of the stuff to your face.

Now I also need to say that I needed a break from TT lives because the fandom was exhausting me. This is not aimed at you Anon as I don't even know who you are. I am not a spiral-er because frankly there is nothing to spiral about. In the end, none of this affects my life personally. And as for those background characters, I don't give two craps about them. But there are a lot of you out there who just can't stop yourselves and my inbox was OVERFLOWING with people who needed their hands held and reassurance. After multiple N&J sightings in October, I just couldn't do it anymore. It is not my job to hold everyone's hand through this or tell you what to think and feel and I'm sorry if that offends anyone. We are all adults and we all need to find a way to manage our emotions and if you're going to break down over every little thing then you might need to step back and take a break.

That being said, I do plan on doing a live again one day soon as I know there are alot people who just want to be on there and laugh at silly shit and I'm always down for that. I just needed the fandom to break through a lot of this bullshit first.

[insomniac4000]

Escape-A ChrisMD fic

"Who's stupid idea was this?" Chris grumbled as he walked along with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He then had eight pairs of eyes on him all furrowed.

"YOURS!!!" Arthur TV bellowed out. 

It started out innocently enough, the five of you sitting around in the living room as you often did, there might have been a couple of drinks consumed but nothing too major, you were mainly all sitting around and talking after failing to agree on something to watch. You had your legs draped over your boyfriend Chris's lap and was mostly just laughing at him and his friends being silly. 

"We don't do a lot, maybe we should go out do some adventure golf or something," Chris suggested, everyone moaned at the word golf. He had dragged everyone in that room to golf at some point and you all hated it. 

"Well I don't know paintball or an escape room or something!" He cried waving his arms around. You gently placed a hand on his arm to stop him from hitting you in the face accidentally. 

"Escape room could be fun," ArthurTV shrugged, he quite liked solving puzzles. 

And that was it, now here you all were three days later walking down the road at ten o clock in the morning on a Saturday, it was the only time they had available. Chris wasn't a morning person particularly he needed to have time to adjust before getting up for the day watching some Youtube or Tiktok with a cup of tea but he had woken up late this morning and didn't have time for his tea so was cranky. 

"I don't know why this is suddenly all my fault," Chris sulked, you rolled your eyes but grabbed his hand anyway and squeezed it causing him to smile at you. 

You got to the place bang on time, filled in the forms and listened to the actors spiel. The premise was of a manor house and a murder, however the detective investigating this had now gone missing. You entered the first room which looked to be a ransacked lounge, it was set in the nintety fifties and the décor reflected that. 

"What's our strategy here?" George asked looking round the room to see the two Arthur's already off trying to solve a puzzle on the table and Chris looking around gormlessly wishing he stopped for a cup of tea on the way. A collection of newspapers had caught your eye and you were rooting through them trying to find a pattern.

"We need a number!" Arthur Hill announced as him and his namesake looked around the room for any further clues.

"Hang on," you said with your finger up. "2783," you added with a smile, a slightly smug one if you did say so yourself. ArthurTV punched the numbers in and the three of you cheered when the puzzle opened revealing three keys.

"Where do they go?" Chris asked, taking some time to get into the game. 

"There under the TV," George pointed to the cabinet which had a key slot. The found the other two just as quickly.

"Huh that was easy," Chris mused as everyone piled into the next room when the door opened. The next part was a stable complete with horse puppets who neighed and made other horse sound effects.

"Well this is fucking weird," George commented as the rest of you looked around the room. 

"Horse girls are weird," Arthur Hill added and you nodded in response. 

"Why? What's wrong with animal lovers?" The other Arthur replied being a little bit offended as a lover of the animal kingdom. 

"Horse girls are a different breed. You will always come second to the horse," you explained. You had a friend in school who ended up in tens of thousands of pounds in debt due to a horse, you failed to understand it but each to their own. 

"Could this be something?" Chris had managed to switch on now, in part inspired by how quick everyone else managed to get out of the previous room and he did nothing to contribute. He was currently looking in a bag which was labelled apples. 

"Don't be stupid," Arthur TV scolded, Chris frowned and placed the bag down. 

"Fucking nerdy twat," Chris uttered under his breath. It was said in jest, like all of the banter the boys had inbetween them. 

Minutes passed and frustrations grew as it appeared you were getting nowhere. There was a game with horse reigns where you had to get them untangled and put the four sets of reigns from one side to the other so they weren't touching. The two Arthur's had decided to work on that as you took one look at it and noped straight out of there and Chris thought it was a bit too difficult and he wanted something he could solve so he didn't look like an idiot in front of you. While you and Chris scrambled throughout the rest of the room not having much luck, Chris growing ever frustrated by the second.

"For fucks sake," he moaned placing his head in his hands and he stomped his foot like a a child.

"YES!" Arthur TV shouted as they managed to solve the puzzle, a small hatch next to the ropes with a key inside. 

"Is there a door it opens?" Arthur Hill asked as he looked around. 

"Look on the wall for a clue," a voice rang out, it was the worker who was keeping an eye on the group. 

"We're so shit they need to help us," Chris muttered as he looked at the words on the wall behind him. "Red Rum, wasn't he a horse?"

"What's so special about him?" George asked also kicking himself at not being too helpful this time. 

"He won the national three times," you shrugged. 

"Then there must be three keys," ArthurTV surmised as everyone kept looking around for some more keys. Taking a punt Chris went into the bag of apples and pulled out a key straight away. 

"I knew it!!!" Chris shouted as he punched the air. You couldn't help but smile and gave his back a little rub in celebration, he looked so pleased with himself but you knew the gloating would come soon enough. 

"We would have done this room by now if I would have looked in here in the first place," Chris moaned. You were well used to his first character syndrome by now and you were very good at calming him down. Everyone else was also used to it and ignored the remark as they searched for the last key. When they finally got the final key and went through to the next room which was a library. Chris was still grumbling that no one was listening to him and everyone assumed he was thick because he liked football and it was the stereotype, it's one of the reasons he went on Mastermind.

In the library there was a map in the middle of the room, there multiple locations with lights on, ten in total and the rest of the room was filled with books. 

"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," Chris said as he was reading the titles. As soon as he did that a light on the map came on and flashed green, it was the light which was in the states around where Vegas would be. 

"That must be it, we need to find the books which correspond to the map," ArthurTV summed up.

"There's also a letter A on the book," Chris added pointing to the post it note on the book. You then noticed the pen and pencil by the phone which was on a desk, the only other piece of furniture in the library. 

"There must be a password when we've found them all," you added as you started to look at the rest of the books before putting an arm around your boyfriend. "Look at you clever little thing," you smiled before giving him a peck on the cheek. He smiled wide and winked at you before turning his attention back to the shelves. 

"Come on love birds there will be plenty of time for that later!" George scolded as he found yet another book and said the title, The Little Paris Bookshop. 

They went through that room quite quickly before making it through to what was the final room unbeknownst to them. It was the kitchen and it looked like it had been ransacked. 

As time ticked on the group were growing ever frustrated at struggling to open the fridge, they had solved one puzzle already which told them that they needed to open the fridge as the key was in there. 

"What about ingredients or a recipe or something?" Chris asked as he was shuffling through the papers.

"I dunno," ArthurTV said as he banged his head against the fridge door. 

"Why do you all keep ignoring my ideas? I was right about the bloody bag and I smashed it with the books!" Chris shouted frustrated. 

"Because most of the time what comes out of your mouth is bollocks," George replied in jest. 

"There is too much testosterone in this room," you replied rolling you eyes. You could have gone to brunch with the girls but no, you had to join your boyfriend and his friends. "Babe, keep working on that, it's not like the rest of us have any other ideas."

Half an hour later you were all sitting in the pub, Chris with a smug smile on his face. 

"Ninety three seconds left, glad I found that cake recipe when I did," Chris gloated causing everyone else to roll their eyes. 

"Yes darling," you smiled letting him have his moment. 

[hongssimi]

don't wanna cry // hong seunghan

ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ seunghan didn't know how loved he was. he thought leaving was for the better. if only he had realised earlier, would things have changed?

ᝰ pairing .ᐟ hong seunghan x those who love him

ᝰ genre .ᐟ angst

ᝰ word count .ᐟ 1.4k+

ᝰ warning .ᐟ mentions of events from october 11th to october 13th including funeral wreaths, hate, bullying, and death threats

ᝰ author's note .ᐟ got on tiktok and got depressed, again. so i guess… here's an angsty, sad, and traumatic one shot that would probably make you cry. song recommendation while reading, seventeen's don't wanna cry.

i think it's better for the team if i leave.

seunghan didn't expect the amount of funeral wreaths left for him in front of his company's doorstep. piles, after piles, after piles of them. each more hurtful than the next.

"riize is 6"

"hong seunghan out"

"freeloader, get lost!"

"i respectfully pray for the peace of mind for the deceased"

respect? where was the respect in question? they were treating him as dead. a perfectly alive and breathing 21-year-old who had just celebrated his birthday just days prior. what had he done so bad to be treated like this?

his head was feeling so complicated. where exactly did he go wrong? he had discussed with the company and the members. they seemed to be in support of him coming back, despite the risks of losing the current fanbase that was built around the six members while he was on hiatus.

seunghan used to hear the members tell him stories in the dorms about their fans holding up banners with his face or slogans with the phrase "riize is seven". they would excitedly text him after performing, telling him that he shouldn't give up. everyone wanted him back. but he didn't believe them. he knew it was just make him feel better. or he thought he did.

walking away from the wreaths, the black-hooded boy headed towards his favourite space. his advertisement board at seoul forest station. a place of comfort. he remembered the very first time he had his face on the board was when he debuted. and then it appeared again in january. since then, it was always his face at that specific location in the station. fans nicknamed the location "seunghan's spot".

the last time he read the notes on the board, the words of support were so sweet. in those messages, fans really missed and cared for him. he was even approached by someone, giving him support and telling him to stay strong. that they would wait for him to come back.

seunghan's birthday board was fuller than ever. he almost couldn't see his face on the board. he just stood far away, staring at the countless amount of notes, feeling apologetic. seeing the backlash for the past two days, the company asked to meet with him, asking him if he was sure he wanted to stay.

seunghan wasn't sure why they asked him that. he was even more confused why they did nothing about the funeral wreaths outside the company. was it not illegal? he had so many thoughts, all left unanswered. where was the "family" that he thought there was, the reason to why he even decided to join this company?

seunghan was not a boy to be left alone. he was one to make rash decisions, and needed someone to hold him back. as an F, he needed his fellow F to empathize with him. he needed his Ts to ground him down that he should stay. but they weren't there.

all his bandmates could do was to post a thinkpiece on weverse, saying they convinced him to come back, in the midst of an overseas schedule. they thought long and hard about the decision and decided to risk it all. they were willing to get scolded for the post, willing to lose fans to be on stage again, but with him. but they got called liars, accused of having the post ghostwritten, words being put in their mouths that they never wanted him back.

seunghan felt guilty. the members never deserved the hate. they've achieved so much without him. he didn't want to ruin it by coming back. he put the members first, like the sweet boy he was.

he got in contact with the company. and that's when he realised he made a big mistake. hashtags were trending. boycotts were happening. protest trucks were driving in. in-person protests were held. international news were covering his story. he realised he was essentially coerced into leaving the team.

"no seunghan no riize"

"riize is seven"

"sm, why did you listen to the minority?"

"sm supports bullying"

"sm, where's the protection you said you would do?"

"sm, reveal the lawsuit processions. if you even did any, for the past 10 months."

there were much, much, more people anticipating his comeback. they were truly, supporting him. he never realised how much of a human rights issue the funeral wreaths were until it was pointed out. he never realised the company was all talk, no action. he was their artist, why didn't they post about filing lawsuits when they announced he came back?

seunghan realised his idea of the company's image being family was just extremely clouded. he finally understood what it meant when people said to never trust companies that market themselves as family.

at some point, at night, he was called to the company again. he was crossing the street, all covered up, when he saw someone with his photocard dangling on their bag. he lowered his cap, apologetically, knowing it was a fan who was probably hurt by him leaving. he didn't want to be recognised and hurt them further. he left quietly, heading into the company building.

he was told they would write up a notice about monitoring any slander written against him. until the notice was posted. did the company never wanted him back? how come his friends had ongoing lawsuits, but there was nothing in his notice? what about the past 10 months where people were saying just about anything? what about the person who lied about his ex-girlfriend being a minor? what about the person who invaded his privacy by leaking photos of his private life?

seunghan was honestly sick and tired of it all. he was always kind to everyone. hell, he was even kind to animals. he even bought a necklace to support a cause related to animals, even though he's afraid of all animals. what did he even do to deserve such treatment?

more projects came out. some were even writing public letters, making an e-book of letters for him. he read all of them. even those he couldn't understand. he just stared at the foreign words and smiled adoringly, knowing it was messages of good wishes for him.

some foreign fans even wrote in korean. some were in perfect korean while some were painfully obvious that it was translated by machine. seunghan tried his best to understand it all, and it was all so sweet.

"seunghan, i miss you"

"i miss you with rii7e"

"hani, i wish you stayed"

"seunghan-ie, i'm not crying so please come back"

"seunghan, come back before i steal sohee"

"seunghan, come back, let me lure you with crayon shin-chan merchandise"

some of the messages were truly hilarious. coping with sadness by being funny. he loved his fans. they were truly positive. their jokes made him smile.

"have you eaten? are you living well?"

"eat some rice, don't just eat bibimmyeon, okay?"

"are you doing well? i'm not doing so well, but i hope that at least you are"

"seunghan, we will always be proud of you. keep your head up"

"hani, don't apologise. you didn't do anything wrong."

"seunghan-ie, you were just a teenager who made some mistakes. we all have mistakes"

"seunghan, cheer up!"

"seunghan, we're always with you"

so many messages were concerned for him and his well-being. even though he knew that they weren't doing well either. they waited ten months and lost him just only after two days, without even getting to see his face.

one of the messages he read stuck to him, "i really want to cry, but if i cry now, i might not be able to see you at all. so i'll fight for you."

reading the messages just made him break down, and cry. guilt, apologetic, comforted, sorry, sad, happy... seunghan felt all kinds of emotions. he didn't want to cry, he wanted to pretend he was fine. but how was he supposed to be fine, when his fans were crying because their words of love weren't enough to make him stay?

he didn't know how to fix the problem. he didn't have much power. the last time seunghan came back, he was previously just on hiatus. this time, he had truly left the team. he wondered if he could even come back. at least to make briize — no, brii7e — happy? he just cried, cried, and cried. he didn't know how to make it a happy ending.

why didn't he hold on just a bit longer?

why couldn't he see the amount of support he had this whole time?

if he knew, would things have turned out differently?

why didn't i realise sooner?

✶⋆.˚꩜ AFTERTHOUGHTS .ᐟ˙⋆✶ i'm crying as i write this. seunghan, i miss you so bad. how are you? are you eating well? you are so strong. i'm sorry i couldn't do more to protect you. just know that i will always be proud of you, always. and so will all brii7e and hongjjanggus. we love and miss you so much.

✶⋆.˚꩜ PERMANENT RII7E TAGLIST .ᐟ˙⋆✶

do not repost works © hongssimi

[vroomvroomcircuit]

The World did not end

(A/N): 'ello and welcome to my first F1 fic. I'm quite new here (not to fanfic or tumblr, I mean F1), but I want to give back to the F1 community, since you all helped me out tons during a really rough period these last couple of months.

Pairing: Lando Norris x platonic!reader

Warnings: mentions eating food, death of a loved family member, grief, it sounds sad, but it's actually pretty sweet and hopeful (it's based on a tiktok trend), English is not my first language btw

Wordcount: .7k (she is a shorty)

Masterlist ______________

Finding Mclaren’s reserve driver crying in the cafeteria wasn’t what Lando expected to stumble upon, when I went to check out where the repeating music came from. It sounded like a sad song that could land a high spot on his next Spotify wrapped.

“Uhm, (Y/N), what’s wrong?” he asks gently as he approaches the table. After a startle she turns off her phone, which has been playing the music. Frantically, she wipes her tears. It still does nothing against the fact that she has been crying and that her blood shot eyes are very visible.

Lando shakes his head. When people think Oscar is an introverted person, she is the masterclass of introvertedness. Like, the last stage of a pokémon evolution. That’s why seeing (Y/N) cry in a semi public place like the cafeteria calls for concern.

“There has to be something. The food here is not that bad. I mean, I have the same reaction when I see fish being served, too. But today I felt like the meals were rather good. So do tell. What’s bothering you?”

First she shrugs, the twenty year old not being able to find her voice immediately. “The- the world didn’t end when I was 13.” The tears are coming back again, restricting her voice once again.

Lando gathers her into his arms. even though he doesn’t understand what is happening at all. Does that matter right now, though?

The girl needs another minute or two until she is composed enough to explain the reason behind her crying. “There is this Tiktok trend going viral right now. It’s about people saying what mundane things they are able to do, or-or which things they have achieved, and all that because the world did not end when they were a certain age. They mean they got through some heavy event in their life. And because they got through this, they are able to do said things or achieve this.”

He nods, understanding the bittersweet and hopeful outlook this kind of videos can bring. “And something heavy happened to you at 13?” He probes while trying to keep a cautious tone, not wanting to overstep any boundary he doesn’t see.

“My, you see, when I was 13, my grandmother died. This was the first time I felt real grief. I wished for the world to end, because nothingness would have felt better than this immense amount of grief. And this led me to thinking of how many times I wished for the world to end. Because there were important and life changing events approaching me so quickly. When the world ends, I wouldn’t have to go through them, right?

And suddenly I’m 18, writing my final exams in school and it felt like the biggest task in my life. it felt like make or break. But the world did not end. I was able to graduate.

Then I got into the drivers academy, I am training, studying, and meeting people. I’m doing everything and anything. Because the world did not end when I was 13.

And it didn’t end when I was 16, overwhelmed with studying for school. It also did not happen when I was 19 and put under contract to be a reserve driver for Mclaren.

The world never ended. I begged and cried for all of this to stop. To have peace. Because I thought that I would only feel at peace, when nothing happens anymore. And the world didn’t end and now I sit here with you, talking about a tiktok trend.”

Lando understands her train of thought and sentiment immediately. “You know, I’m happy it didn’t end. These past couple of months with you here were pretty fun. Even Oscar admits it! With that true little smile, not in that monotone tone of his. These interviews and the media stuff is much more fun with these silly remarks of yours. And you are an amazing human being. I’m really glad that your world did not end, because meeting you made mine better.”

(Y/N) laughs, the tears being gone and cheeks heating up at that confession. “I’m glad too. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to ravish my way through the mountain of pasta minutes before you came in.” They giggle, knowing they share similar food preferences and have the culinary plate of a four year old toddler.

And all that, because the world did not end.