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#and then. bo: was that fucked up or what? din: was what?? bo: wait u see anything in the water? din: no?? bo: oh okay moving on then
baellielurk · 2 years
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how is this season of the mandalorian so bad and boring
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happytroopers · 3 years
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Boba Fett season finale shit post
Spoilers below. Obviously.
Rip hot twilek your 6 minutes of screen time will be duly forgotten
WAIT THEY KILLED MAX REBO
Fuck the Pykes man
I can tolerate space drug trade but I draw the line at killing renowned jizz musicians
God Fennec Boba and Din in one shot now there’s a sandwich I wanna be in
Many thoughts and yet none at all just sin
Not them trying to redeem the mayor
“I have an idea to draw Fett out.” I’m sending g that there’s the inspo for a new WAVE of self insert fanfic
XWINF
Luke coming to help his boy toy???
The child????
YEP
That’s artooie:)))
THE BABY
Wait can he drive
Me and PELI are on the same page
HES SO TINY
BRIGHT EYES
R2 s like we’re on a SCHEDULE
ME TOO PELI ITS A TERRILBE NAME
WAIT DID BE CHOOSE THE SRMOR
Is he dropping out of Jedi school
If so I’m gonna have to start kinning baby Yoda
Goth Wookiee :)
Someone’s gonna sneak up on them
Din stop being so sexy
God boba in his armor is so sexy
This is the showdown we wanted in clone wars
Star Wars-issficstion of southern idioms
Ok but two of them are wearing beskar and u are not
Boba said “no 💖🖕”
Why do I feel like fennec is gonna take the brunt of this
Fennec being the sexy voice of reason as always
“Ur going soft in ur old age” as if Bane isn’t fucking ancient
I love my little beuqacratic wiggler
Yep just as I fucking thought
NOT GOTH WOOKIE
I don’t appreciate them ripping my found family trope to pieces
So that augmented eye is very helpful to his aim huh
Not the water waste
God I love her
SHES SO SEXY
Lil punk said lesbian panic!!!
The only woman I would call Mommy
The last time Din got trapped in a blown out bar, it didn’t go well
We love a loyal bestie
More self insert inspo “I’m with you til we both fall”
WIGGLER SAYS I DONT WANNA DIE HERE
NOT THE EDUCATION ELITISM
He said I’m not afraid to pathetic
Is he not gonna read that first
What if it just said “fuck u losers”
Yay space slurs!!!!
Pls be inappropriate
“Nothing 💖”
Creative writing king! He wrote that so fast
Jet pack hotties
INLOVE THE KNEE BLASTERS
THE SLUT TURN DIN J LOVE U
Overkill a lil boys???
DIN WHY ARE TOUSING HR UNARMORED HANDS RO GAUARD UR BESKAR HELMETED HEAD
Awww yay :)
Can y’all imagine like living in this part of town??? Just like, trying to get brunch, and this shit happening.
No the moped!!!!
YES CITY FOLK COUNTRY FOLK FISCORS
Disapproved dad says save it
GOTH WOOKIE
Din’s thighs :)
Oh no
Hey maybe we should start shooting now
Yes start shooting now that they put their RAY SHIELDS up
Ahhhh clone wars nostalgia
Goth WOOKIE said show off
Well that was a waste of a missile
Quick mafs
“You’ve run out of friends” me too boba
God I love this man
Both of them actually
Hey maybe let’s not just run in a mobbed straight line guys????
There is one droid chasing you and approx 60 of y’all
Slutty lil spin there
Din is so fast ????
FHE HAMMER TBDKW
Bonk !!!
She’s gonna show that baby and dins gonna be like “YOU BROUGHT MY SON INTO A BATTLE ZONE????”
I fight usually leads to dying
They’re in love
THE IMMEDJATE FARHER PANJC
FBE HUG ONG Y’ALL IM CRYING
HES SK HAPLY TENDER AND SOFT I LOVE HIM
Fave dilf
HE CAUGHT HIM
Not the tooth!!!
YES YES YES YES YES
Zillow beast vibes
Boba lemme sit on ur lap while you ride
NO NO NO
ok that was hot
Remisnent if genonosis Kenobi
YES BABY DO UR THINK PROTECT HR DAD
ARE U OK
Boba u are so hot
They’re in LOVE
But fr fr city x country makes the best pairing
Imagine if that was ur house
Boba I demand reparations
Who is the lil pretty boy we keep seeing
NO BO NO NO NO
Not mysmotinal support space beast!!!!
They’re gonna date!!!!
Wiggler x PELI!!!!
YES INWAS WAITJNF DOR ONE OF THEM TO GET EATEN
I doubt they’ll kill off Bane. But liek…. What if they did
Also that’s ANOTHER problem for the city
HOODLUMS
HEY YO
Mmmm Jango ment
Just grab his little face tubes
YES STICK STUCK STUCK
Oh maybe they will kill him
Makes since tho he’s like OLD OLD
He’s wAs old in Clone Wars
Oh nvm he’s def not dead
STOP SOOTING HIM
Ok now for a King Kong parallel
NO NOT THE BALL
ok that was hot Din
NO NO NO NO
KID
HIM LITTLE WADDLE
HIS EARS
HIS EYES
How to train ur dragon parrlell
CLONE WARS KENOBJ PARALLELL
HIM LITTLE HANDS
NAP BUDDIES
Found my new screen saver
Yay decaptiated heads are back!!!
They should hire a tourism director
YES FENNEC FUCK IT UP
So sneaky :)
NOT THE REN FAIR MUSIC
Rip to the ham guards
THE TAPS
truly encapsulated what having a toddler is like
I LOVE THEM
Is there an end credit scene
Just realized that in the choral grunting they’re saying Fett- I’m an idiot
Yep end credit scene
I swear if it’s bane
COBBY BOY
Boba quit modifying ppl without their consent!!!
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cannedsmores · 4 years
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my thoughts on the new episode
please land ok please land ok please land-
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA LAND IM CLOWNING
w woman 😳😳😳😳😳😳
din:please i just need info my ship is a peice of shit rn i am so tired
the kid: soup time dododo- AAAAA A SQUID
also din: don't play with ya food >:(
THE FROG COUPLE THO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW CUTE THEY ARE?????
boat time :)
NO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT IM CRYING
mandalorian's 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
bo-katans helmet with spray painted eyebrows
FACE REVEAL ALREADY????
I'm just a simple simp, i see koska with braids i simp
IM SORRY A CULT???? HE GOT SAVED BY CULT LEADERS?????
soup time 2: electric bungaloo
mandalorian's on a ship, what they gonna plot?
i didn't know how much I liked koska untill she spoke
hehe time to rob
din:gets shot a bunch of times
me: *flashbacks to IG* oh no my eyes are wet now
dang her saber got stolen that sucks- WHAT THE FUCK ELECTRIC THEETH????????
the way bo-katan looked at mando is how some of u din-simps be looking at din-
ASHOKA??????????
AWWWW THE TADPOLE AND KID ARE FRIENDS uwu
din:this is my son, i need to pick him up from his playdate cuz I had to kill people
also din:I'm not getting another pet i already have u
NOT DIN BEING IN DENIAL NOOOOOO
din: "we found ur home little guy :)"
also din: "HE HASN'T EVEN CALLED ME BABA YET I CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM I DONT WANT TO HIVE HIM AWAY!!!!!"
anyways those are my thoughts fresh from the fordge, i can't wait for next episode!!
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worlds-forgotten · 4 years
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okay I think I’m ready to talk about the episode now lmao
SPOILERS AHEAD 
I want to stay positive! I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad for liking the episode, these are some personal opinions! Plus, I still liked the episode, but these were some of my thoughts!
We’ll start with the wtf stuff HJKHDSKFS
Literally ready to throw hands with Bo and the other lady (I forget her name? Did they even say it?) I was so angry when they started talking shit to Boba like stfu JDEWIJDKLS
Where is the dude that was with them? 
Boba saying ‘little one’ in a menacing tone,, sorry i had two heartbeats NDJKNFKEW
I can’t believe no-name lady had the gall to try and beat up an old man like really? Boba stood his ground but come on he has a senior’s discount he doesn’t have time for this
din just standing there watching Boba fight was so fucking funny hes like ‘k we’ll wait till ur ready’ 
Where did the scientist end up? The doctor? Did they leave him in the ship? He just peaced out 
WHERE DID BOBA GO?? HE JUST LEFT?? Like ‘lmao k bye’ he said he would help Din until he got his son back but then didn’t stick around for the climax? I’m confused
I loved the four ladies taking on the entire ship themselves!!! very sexy of them!! but I really hope Disney didn’t leave out the other Mando guy just so they could get brownie points for having a women-only scene (looking at you Endgame)
cara just beating the guys with her gun-
Din sneaking around was so cute lol 
I shit myself when the dark trooper was smashing the helmet I WAS SO SCARED IT WAS GONNA BREAK
use of the spear was very sexy 
I KNEW Gideon was gonna be in the room with the saber on Grogu like din honey use ur brain  
din turned to get grogu and i was like “okay here it is he’s going to get stabbed din the back and the baby will have to heal him” and then..no 
the fight was over so easy
VERY VERY underwhelming fight?? like the moves were really good and the visuals but
like i get beskar can’t be pierced but gideon went down so easily and then in the next scene Din just strolled in with the saber, the baby, and gideon in cuffs
we didn’t get to see a reunion!! angry 
i hate that gideon felt used as an extra person to explain the plot, like he was beaten so easily and then explained the legend and then that was kind of it. He didn’t feel like a big threat
bo stfu and take the saber 
Din just not giving a shit about the saber is so hilarious he’s like “,, i yield take it i dont want it’ 
Okay. Luke Skywalker. I love that chanel wearing baddie and that scene killed - it was so good - prime Luke, saving the day, looking amazing while doing it, and we are seeing him after the events of ROTJ! The character felt so HIM, but I can’t get past the bad deep fake (hello, Sebastian Stan is right there) and also, I wish they didn’t bring in a big name character. We have so many named people from books and shows it feels like it’s a bit of an extra money grab? Idk I’m feeling conflicted about it because Luke training Grogu is so so cool but I also wanted something different maybe? I’m not sure much to think upon
Din ,, crying :(
“dont be afraid” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
when did this man have time to cut his hair and shave lmao
I know Din’s whole mission was to let Grogu go with the Jedi, but I wish Din could’ve had the chance to understand the Jedi more. He barely knows anything about them and doesn’t even know where to go to find Grogu again
like sending ur kid to boarding school and not knowing the address
WHERE IS THE BALL?? I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO THE KID
maybe he’ll keep it to longingly look at later
i would have liked like .. an ‘i love you’ or some declaration of love, but the face touch and helmet removal was really strong as well   
LMAO BOBA just showing up at the end with Fennec and just sitting down like .. okay now what? ur just gonna sit there JHEKFHEFKE but that was pure sex honestly  love them 
LIKE hello boba ,, u need an extra set of hands
too many questions left unanswered?? Din is Mand’alor?? HES ALSO HOMELESS AND JOBLESS AND HAS NO MONEY OR CLOTHES?? is bo katan gonna try and beat his ass for the saber? what are they going to do with gideon? 
anyways many thought head full
i sobbed harder than i have in a long time 
In conclusion - this episode felt a bit rushed for me - i wish they had taken a bit more time explaining things, building a bigger tension, and giving Din more time with Grogu. I’m excited to see where season 3 takes us and I will slowly go insane waiting for it to come out 
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xcertaindarkthingsx · 4 years
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so i’m still emotionally hungover from the finale
like.... embarrassingly so. it’s coming up on a week and i still tear up thinking about it or whenever i see gifs on my dash (which is why i haven’t reblogged any mando things lately alkdjfalj i cry everytime)
but idk i just have a lot of thots still about it so i’m just gonna dump them here.  feel free to message/ask to discuss, we can be in pain together LMAO
OK FIRST THE FACT THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL 2022 
i was so devastated when i heard that my god 
like yes of course i am excited for boba fett and to see fennec bUT LIKE I MISS MY SPACE COWBOY AND HIS SON
i just.... cannot get over that they’re apart
like, trust me i understand why grogu had to leave but it just breaks my fucking heart
i cannot get over how good din is.  like he is just a good person overall.  he gives so much even if it means getting nothing in return.  even to complete strangers.  he’s this hardened, no nonsense man but shows so much KINDNESS to everyone he touches and that’s why i love him so so much 
even after doing everything in his power to save the kid, he still loses him in the end but he lets him go because he knows it’s for the best
like... din knows what it’s like to be lost, to be without his people, his clan.  hell, he’s living it! he’s looking for the rest of his covert after seeing them mostly get wiped out, not even knowing how many of them are even left.
and now we know that grogu went through the same thing as a youngling, he’s lost and without his people, he doesn’t have that familiarity and he never thought he would get that back. until now.
until that new hope of luke appears
so that’s why din let’s him go. he wants his son to become what he was meant to be.  
and i don’t even wanna TALK ABOUT GROGU ASKING FOR PERMISSION TO LEAVE 
BC IT HURTS
HE LOVES DIN SO MUCH HE SEES HIM AS A FATHER
AND GROGU WAS PROBABLY SO TORN ABOUT LEAVING 
but maybe he does bc he knows how much his dad has sacrificed to get him where he is.  and he wants to protect him.  
I’M CRYING AGAIN  
DIN DJARIN DESERVES TO BE WITH HIS CHILD AND YET HE ISN’T
he started this journey alone and now he’s just... alone again
ALSO WE DIDN’T GET A KELDABE KISS OR HIM SPEAKING TO GROGU IN MANDO’A AND I WILL BE FOREVER SALTY ABOUT IT OKAY
the face touch was so precious though, i’ll give them that bc i was bawling like a mf baby 
“don’t be afraid?” yeah excuse me while i go pass away
the whole moment was just so soft and tender it just melted my insides 
shoutout to pedro pascal’s magnificent acting during that whole scene bc i was inconsolable for like hours
ALSO WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM TAKE OFF HIS HELMET WITH SO MANY PEOPLE IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like it would have been more impactful if they had like a brief private moment together
yanno THAT WAY DIN IS NOT LIKE ACTIVELY SHOWING HIS FACE TO EVERYONE
that nod of acknowledgement between din and luke, where din understands that luke really will protect the child with his life so he knows it’s okay.
i’m fine
WHY DIDN’T THEY BRING UP THE SILVER BALL AND THE MYTHOSAUR NECKLACE
WHY
i would have loved to see just, idk a shot of the necklace on grogu and din like absentmindedly holding the metal ball
i don’t want to think about how after din probably just holds it and cries 
I’M FINE
luke skywalker showing up to save the day in his chanel boots will always be a fave
however it sucks that i immediately bawl 2 minutes after he shows up HAHA the thrill of seeing him is cut short by my sadness
(although.... it would have been cool to see cal. but i’m ok with it being luke bc we finally get the luke we deserve/know and love)
also luv ludwig goransson for the bangers
even though the theme makes me cry now
also, MISS ‘gideon is mine, got it?’ BO-KATAN...... WHY TF DID YOU NOT LOOK FOR GIDEON WHEN HE WAS NOT ON THE BRIDGE 
HMMMMMMMM
(i understand this was to further complicate the plot of her acquiring the darksaber but like.... man did it piss me off when she had that surprised pikachu face after seeing din with that saber LMAO like what did u think was gonna happen girl?????)
props to gideon for being a shady lil’ shit about it LMAO 
however shoutout to our accidental mand’alor din djarin
luv that for him
he’s sexy with that saber CHANGE MY MIND
pls i cannot get that end shot of boba and fennec on the throne out of my head ladjfkdj the bi panic was real 
uhhhh ya i think that’s it 
i had a lot more thoughts tbh but i’m at work and burnt out so 
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twilightofthe · 4 years
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Chapter Eleven liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!
Yeet water episode
Ok random planet, I’m assuming this is planet whatsit where Din’s supposed to be Space Ubering Frog Lady and her (remaining lol) eggs to
Oh yeah shit Shelob really busted up the Razor Crest last time
Awww everyone sleeby and lol Mama’s keepin’ a good watch over her eggs this time
OH MY GOD YODITO I WOULD DIE FOR YOU
“Dank Ferrik” as a swear word again, huh, I’ll note that
Surprise surprise once again they gotta crash land because this is Star Wars and ships never work right
Lol this Mon Calamari dude is just like “......well then”
Bro ur gonna break those eggs
WHY ISN’T THE BABY BUCKLED INTO HIS SEAT EXCUSE ME
Pffffff another happy landing
AHAHA I’M THE MON CALAMARI
Ohoooo, The Heiress, eh?
Din Frog Lady is NOT gonna give you those five stars on Yelp for this ride
ALSKDJFLKSDK WE CAN’T GET THROUGH ONE EP WITHOUT SOMEONE REMINDING HIS SHIP IS A PIECE OF SHIT 90′S HONDA CIVIC
Awwwww yay Frog Lady’s found her husband!!!!
I’m gonna cry why the hell are they so cute
Also my hat goes off to the effects/costuming department those costumes are amazing
DIN YOU MUST FEED YOUR CHILD MORE REGULARLY
Oh I guess Frog Man is gonna give Din the Yelp review instead xD
Damn so he actually does know where some other Mandos are
Ah and there’s Whatsherface the other pro fighter turned actress on this show, why the fuck can’t I remember her name
Oop Din saw her
I always forget what the squid faced aliens are 
“My friend” BRO THAT’S YOUR SON
Aw yay goop for the babby!!!!
I’m guessing Calamari’s contact is gonna be Fighter Lady lol
OH NO BABY’S SOUP IS TRYNA EAT HIM
BAHAHAHA AND DIN GIVES EXACTLY ZERO FUCKS
Hmm yeah so I recognize Squid Face’s voice
I think this is the first big boat on water scene we’ve actually had in Star Wars, the brief bit in TROS excluded
Ohhhhh they’re called Quarren
Aw Quarren’s tryna be friendly to Yodito (or he could actually be sketchy let’s be cautious)
BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS HE JUST FED THE BABY TO A FUCKING SEA MONSTER
AND NOW THEY’RE AFTER DIN BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING ARMOR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
WHERE IS THE BABY I DO NOT SEE THE BABY Y’ALL WHERE IS MY FUCKING SON I DO NOT SEE THE BABY
HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT
HOLY SHIT NO WAY
NO WAY
SHIT
THAT’S BO KATAN
FUCKING BO KATAN
THAT’S HER
OH MY GOD
OKAY CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL
NEVERMIND AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
OK BUT THAT HAS TO BE HER THAT’S HER ARMOR AND VOICE????????
THAT IS TEN THOUSAND PERCENT HER MASK
AND WHO ARE HER FRIENDS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
YES Y’ALL GET THE FUCKING BABY BACK
DIN’S VOICE IS CRACKING POOR PAPA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 
“BROTHER” OK BO WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO
Y’ALL I’M STILL REALLY FUCKING EXCITED SHE WAS LIKE THE ONE RETURNING CHARACTER I ACTUALLY WANTED
OK HOW IS MY SON HOW IS MY SON MY POOR BABY
OH MY GOD HE’S OKAY
THANK GOD 
THANK GOD
Bo how the fuck have you not aged
Oh whooooops yep I forgot Din’s an Orthodox Mando
“Child of the Watch” ohhhh????
RELGIOUS ZEALOTS OHHHH??????
I just fucking realized they STILL fucking gave Bo her boob armor I hate this with the passion of a thousand suns HELLO WHY?
Aaaaand Din doesn’t wanna listen ok
Oh boy this guy’s gonna be trouble
Oh no there’s a lot of them
THAT IS HIS SON Y’ALL SERIOUSLY
Ohhhh so we’re finally taking credit for when someone’s death is our fault, are we now Bo? (:
Gah sorry Katee but your wig ain’t that good
HOW DID THE OLD REBELLION FAIL
BITCH HOW DID YOU LOSE THE DARKSABER
“A new Mand’alor on the throne” uh sorry but I hope you don’t mean you Bo cuz uhhhhh
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND HOW DID DIN KNOW THE JEDI’S NAME I’M--???
OHHHHH “WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE JEDI?”
Lol so are we gonna get an Obi Wan explanation, an Ahsoka explanation, an Ezra explanation, or is Bo gonna mention Luke?
Aaaaand she’s gonna lead him to Ahsoka fucking great
(lol I’m sorry y’all I’ve already talked about how I don’t want Ahsoka showing up in the show haha)
Oh so we’re really getting like really no explanation as to how the fuck Bo lost Mandalore again
Ok heist time?
They better explain some of why Bo’s doing what she’s doing now and yes I know it’s been like ten minutes but I’m still impatient
DIN NOOOOOOO YOUR SON WILL EAT THEIR CHILDREN 
But I’m still crying Din is so okay with babysitters now I’m--
Wait wait wait why are these guys still well dressed and supplied Imperials?  Lol I’m so lost
Ok damn fine Bo’s cool I’ll admit that she’s always been cool
Walk walk murder baby
And the Imps are tryna blast off again ok
Return of the music bombs!!!!!
Bro they’re gonna kill u
AKLSDJFLKSK THEY FUCKING SPACED THEM I LOVE IT
Ok I really wanna know why Bo’s a pirate
bitch shut up about ruling Mandalore I love you and all but you are SO FUCKING BAD AT IT
YOU’VE LOST THE WHOLE DAMN PLANET TWICE
YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE DARKSABER BACK
WHY IS AHSOKA HELPING YOU AGAIN HOLY SHIT
Ooop there’s Gideon, hello Giancarlo!!!!!!  I really love his villain theme
Oh damn they’re gonna just suicide-- yep they sure are
Aaaaand Din’s being a damn hero because of course he is
Boi you have a CHILD TO LOOK AFTER
Whoop a dead pill
At least Ahsoka’s calling herself a Jedi now
Dammit I REALLY didn’t want Ahsoka to show up
Dammit dammit dammit
Gah nvm
OMG BABY IS BONDING WITH THE FROG FAMILY AND THEIR TADPOLES NOW
MY HEARRRRRRRT
DIN’S BEING A DAD PICKING HIM UP FROM HIS PLAYDATE I CAAAAAAAN’T ;_;
Din with all due respect your ship is kind of a piece of shit don’t question what the guy was able to fix
Baby Yoda I would die for you
Oh whoop there’s the octopus again
Don’t you try to eat the baby you bitch
BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH
HELL YEAH PROTECTIVE PAPA
NO YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE TAKING HIM DIN THAT’S YOUR SON, AHSOKA AIN’T GONNA KEEP HIM LMAO
Oooooh another Bryce Dallas Howard ep, I like her episodes!
Welp Bo Katan is here now and soon Ahsoka will be too
I’ve already said my piece on what I think of R*sario D*wson and I’ll leave it at that
I think Katee Sackhoff did a lovely job with Bo Katan live action too, tho I’ll say again that her wig kinda sucked lol
Welp they explained absolutely nothing as to why or how Bo Katan lost the Darksaber and Mandalore for a SECOND time, I still think it’s kinda funny she thinks she gets to go for round three 
Anyway, can’t wait for next ep, still holding out bitter hope that Sabine will show up too
Ah wait wait wait Bo Katan was supposed to be the fucking Heiress, wasn’t she
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hlupdate · 5 years
Link
A hand­shake can quell polit­i­cal unrest and sti­fle impend­ing war. It can, with a bit of spit, val­i­date a gentleman’s agree­ment, end a years-long roman­tic rela­tion­ship or send a young heart rac­ing. But it all depends on the two par­ties involved.
Daisy, 21, felt a seis­mic jolt when Har­ry Styles, 25, wear­ing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fin­gers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gela­to at the shop where she worked.
“He decid­ed on a small mint choco­late gela­to and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ​‘Can I just say I absolute­ly loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ​‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ​‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCK­ING EXTEND­ED HISHAND AND REACHED TO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTU­AL­LY FUCK­INGSHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THE FUCK,” she wrote on Insta­gram after The Shak­en­ing. ​“Like I didn’t even say any­thing to gas him up besides ​‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHAT A BEAU­TI­FUL FUCK­ING HUMAN BEINGTHAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW [sic] LIVES FOREVER.”
For Har­ry Styles, a hand­shake can be a roman­tic ges­ture, con­jur­ing a potent rev­er­ence in its recip­i­ent, like the time he met Gucci’s cre­ative direc­tor Alessan­dro Michele. ​“He was as attrac­tive as James Dean and as per­sua­sive as Gre­ta Gar­bo. He was like a Luchi­no Vis­con­ti char­ac­ter, like an Apol­lo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, has­ten­ing to add: ​“Of course, Har­ry is not aware of this.”
No, Styles has no idea the pow­er he wields. In per­son, he’s tow­er­ing, like some­one who is not that much taller but whose rep­u­ta­tion adds four inch­es. Styles has a seda­tive bari­tone, spo­ken in a rum­my north­ern Eng­lish accent, that tum­bles out so slow­ly you for­get the name of your first born, a swag­ger that has been nursed and per­fect­ed in myth­i­cal places with names like Pais­ley Park, or Abbey Road, or Grace­land. Makes com­plete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Pres­ley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcom­ing biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one but­ton on his shirt cling­ing for dear life around his tor­so. Then the part was award­ed to anoth­er actor, Austin Butler.
“[Elvis] was such an icon for me grow­ing up,” Styles tells me. ​“There was some­thing almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I end­ed up get­ting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t dis­ap­point­ed,” he adds of his ini­tial research and prepa­ra­tions to play The King. He seems relaxed about los­ing the part to But­ler. ​“I feel like if I’m not the right per­son for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”
Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boy­band grad was clear­ly unin­ter­est­ed in hol­low­ing out the charts with more for­mu­la­ic meme pop. Instead, to the sur­prise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ​’70s rock. Some of the One Direc­tion fan-hordes might have been con­fused, but no mat­ter: Har­ry Styles sold one mil­lion copies.
Despite its com­mer­cial and crit­i­cal suc­cess, he didn’t tour the album right away. He want­ed to act in the Christo­pher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his cred­it, his por­tray­al of a British sol­dier cow­er­ing in a moored boat on the French beach­es as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skew­ered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madon­na or Justin Tim­ber­lake. Per­haps he was fol­low­ing advice giv­en by Elton John, who had urged him to diver­si­fy. ​“He was bril­liant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of peo­ple by sur­prise,” John writes in an email. ​“I love how he takes chances and risks.” Act­ing, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.
“Why do I want to act? It’s so dif­fer­ent to music for me,” he says, sud­den­ly ani­mat­ed. ​“They’re almost oppo­site for me. Music, you try and put so much of your­self into it; act­ing, you’re try­ing to total­ly dis­ap­pear in who­ev­er you’re being.”
Fol­low­ing the news that he missed out on Pres­ley, his name was float­ed for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Lit­tle Mer­maid. How­ev­er, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. ​“It was dis­cussed,” he acknow­ledges before swift­ly chang­ing the sub­ject. ​“I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But every­one involved in it was amaz­ing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watch­ing it, I’m sure.”
The new album is wrapped and the sin­gle is decid­ed upon. ​“It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ​‘n’ roll leg­end Ste­vie Nicks, told me recent­ly over the phone. ​“It’s not like any­thing One Direc­tion ever did. It’s pure Har­ry, as Har­ry would say. He’s made a very dif­fer­ent record and it’s spectacular.”
Beyond that, Styles is keep­ing his cards close to his chest as to his next musi­cal move. How­ev­er, the air is thick with rumours that his main wing­man for HS2 is Kid Har­poon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Crea­ture. No less an author­i­ty than Liam Gal­lagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same stu­dio – RAK in north-west Lon­don – at the same time mak­ing their sec­ond solo albums. Styles played him a cou­ple of tracks, ​“and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gal­lagher enthused. ​“A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”
Har­ry Styles met Nicks at a Fleet­wood Mac con­cert in Los Ange­les in April 2015. Some­thing about him felt authen­tic to the leg­endary front­woman: ground­ed, like she’d known him for­ev­er, blessed with a win­ning moon­shot grin. A month lat­er, they met back­stage at anoth­er Mac gig, this time at the O2 in Lon­don. Styles brought a car­rot cake for Nicks’ birth­day, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admis­sion, Nicks doesn’t even cel­e­brate birth­days, so this was a sur­prise. ​“He was per­son­al­ly respon­si­ble for me actu­al­ly hav­ing to cel­e­brate my birth­day, which was very sweet,” she says.
Styles’ rela­tion­ship with Nicks is hard to define. Induct­ing her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist ear­li­er this year, his speech hymned her as a ​“mag­i­cal gyp­sy god­moth­er who occu­pies the in-between”. She’s called him her ​“lovechild” with Mick Fleet­wood and the ​“son I nev­er had”. Both have moved past the pre­lim­i­nary chat acknowl­edg­ing each other’s unquan­tifi­able tal­ents and smooth­ly accel­er­at­ed towards play­ful cut-and-thrust ban­ter of a witch mom and her naughty child.
They per­form togeth­er – he sings The Chainand Stop Drag­gin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one alleged­ly writ­ten about Tay­lor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those per­for­mances was at the Guc­ci Cruise after­par­ty in Rome in May, for ​“a lot of mon­ey”, Nicks tells me, in a ​“big kind of cas­tle place”. She has become his de fac­to men­tor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequenc­ing (“She is real­ly good at track list­ing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voic­es… because, well, wouldn’t you?
Fol­low­ing anoth­er Fleet­wood Mac con­cert, at London’s Wem­b­ley Sta­di­um, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indi­an) din­ner. He then invit­ed her back to his semi-detached Geor­gian man­sion in north Lon­don for a lis­ten­ing par­ty at mid­night. The album – HS2or what­ev­er it’ll be called – was fin­ished. Nicks, her assis­tant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ liv­ing-room couch. They lis­tened to it once through in silence like a ​“bunch of edu­cat­ed monks or some­thing in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offer­ing live feed­back. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleed­ing through the curtains.
Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, press­ing ​“play” on a deeply per­son­al work for your hero to digest, watch­ing her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?
“It’s a dou­ble-edged thing,” he replies. ​“You’re always ner­vous when you are play­ing peo­ple music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you for­get that peo­ple haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are hap­py with some­thing and then some­one who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ​‘I real­ly like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feel­ing very com­fort­able with what­ev­er else hap­pens to it.”
Wad­ing through Styles’ back­ground info is exhaust­ing, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every god­dam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been doc­u­ment­ed from six angles. (And yes, he does some­times wear guyliner.)
Deep breath: born in Red­ditch, Worces­ter­shire, to par­ents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was sev­en. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sis­ter Gem­ma, mum and step­dad Robin Twist. Rode hors­es at a near­by sta­ble for free (“I was a bad rid­er, but I was a rid­er”). Stopped rid­ing, ​“got into dif­fer­ent stuff”. Formed a band, White Eski­mo, with school­mates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Fac­torwith a stir­ring but aver­age ren­di­tion of Ste­vie Wonder’s Isn’t She Love­ly. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four oth­ers, Louis Tom­lin­son, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direc­tion. Became inter­na­tion­al­ly famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dat­ed but maybe didn’t date Car­o­line Flack, Rita Ora and Tay­lor Swift – whom he report­ed­ly dumped in the British Vir­gin Islands. (This rela­tion­ship, if noth­ing else, yield­ed an icon­ic, can­did shot of Swift look­ing deject­ed, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Fly­ing Ray.) One Direc­tion dis­cussed dis­band­ing in 2014, actu­al­ly dis­solved in 2015. They remain friend­ly, and Styles offi­cial­ly went solo in 2016.
It’s been two years since his epony­mous debut and lead sin­gle, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swag­ger­ing, soft rock sound. ​“It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.
After 89 are­na-packed shows across five con­ti­nents grossed him, the label, whomev­er, over $61 mil­lion, Styles had all but dis­ap­peared. He has emerged only inter­mit­tent­ly for pub­lic-fac­ing events – a Guc­ci after­par­ty per­for­mance here, a Met Gala co-chair­ing there. He relo­cat­ed from Los Ange­les back to Lon­don, sell­ing his Hol­ly­wood Hills house for $6mil­lion and ship­ping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.
“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. ​“My rela­tion­ship with LAchanged a lot. What I want­ed from LA changed.”
A great escape, he would agree, is some­times nec­es­sary. He was in Tokyo for most of Jan­u­ary, hav­ing near­ly fin­ished his album. ​“I need­ed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ​‘Is it fin­ished? Where am I at? What’s hap­pen­ing?’ I real­ly need­ed that time away from every­one. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sab­bat­i­cal most­ly involved read­ing Haru­ki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chron­i­cle, singing Nir­vana at karaoke, writ­ing alone in his hotel room, lis­ten­ing to music and eaves­drop­ping on strangers in alien con­ver­sa­tion. ​“It was just a pos­i­tive time for my head and I think that impact­ed the album in a big way.”
Dur­ing this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Some­times he texts these rec­om­men­da­tions to his pal Michele at Guc­ci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Mac­graw film, Love Sto­ry. ​“We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dress­ing up and he loves dress­ing up.”
Because he loves dress­ing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Guc­ci Tai­lor­ing cam­paigns and of its new gen­der­less fra­grance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.
“The moment I met him, I imme­di­ate­ly under­stood there was some­thing strong around him,” Michele tells me. ​“I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thought­ful way, with uncombed hair and a beau­ti­ful voice. I thought he gath­ered with­in him­self the fem­i­nine and the masculine.”
Fash­ion, for Styles, is a play­ground. Some­thing he doesn’t take too seri­ous­ly. A cou­ple of years ago Har­ry Lam­bert, his styl­ist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metal­lic Saint Lau­rent boots that he has nev­er been pho­tographed wear­ing. They are exceed­ing­ly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them ​“to get milk”. They are, in his words, ​“super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ball­park, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full clos­ets in at least three post­codes. He set­tles on an out­fit fair­ly quick­ly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before head­ing out, but most­ly knows what he likes.
What he may not ful­ly com­pre­hend is that sim­ply by being pho­tographed in a gar­ment he can spur the career of a design­er, as he has with Har­ris Reed, Palo­mo Spain, Charles Jef­frey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Guc­ci flo­ral suit to the 2015 Amer­i­can Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red car­pet, Guc­ci began trend­ing world­wide on Twitter.
“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s run­way designs and, at the time, men were not tak­ing too many red car­pet risks,” says Lam­bert. ​“Who knows if it influ­enced oth­ers, but it was a spe­cial moment. Plus, it was fun see­ing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”
Yet tra­di­tion­al gen­der codes of dress still have the minds of mid­dle Amer­i­ca in a choke­hold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him ​“trag­ic”, ​“a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. ​“What’s fem­i­nine and what’s mas­cu­line, what men are wear­ing and what women are wear­ing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”
Elton John agrees: ​“It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Har­ry has the same qualities.”
Then there is the ques­tion of Styles’ sex­u­al­i­ty, some­thing he has admit­ted­ly ​“nev­er real­ly start­ed to label”, which will plague him until he does. Per­haps it’s part of his allure. He’s bran­dished a pride flag that read ​“Make Amer­i­ca Gay Again” on stage, and plant­ed a stake some­where left of cen­tre on sexuality’s rain­bow spectrum.
“In the posi­tion that he’s in, he can’t real­ly say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks vol­umes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face ear­li­er this year.
“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turn­ing on how he can dis­cuss sex­u­al­i­ty with­out real­ly answer­ing. ​“I’m not always super-out­spo­ken. But I think it’s very clear from choic­es that I make that I feel a cer­tain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He paus­es again, piv­ots. ​“I want every­one to feel wel­come at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m nev­er unsup­port­ed, so it feels weird for me to over­think it for some­one else.”
Sex­u­al­i­ty aside, he must acknowl­edge that he has sex appeal. ​“The word ​‘sexy’ sounds so strange com­ing out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s prob­a­bly why I would not con­sid­er myself sexy.”
Har­ry Styles has emerged ful­ly-formed, an anachro­nis­tic rock star, vague in sen­si­bil­i­ty but des­tined to impress with a dis­arm­ing smile and a warm but firm handshake.
I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hyn­de of The Pre­tenders about her time atop rock’s throne: ​“I nev­er got into this for the mon­ey or because I want­ed to join in the super­star sex around the swim­ming pools. I did it because the offer of a record con­tract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a wait­ress. Now, I’m not so sure.”
Styles – who worked in a bak­ery in a small north­ern town some time before play­ing to 40,000 scream­ing fans in South Amer­i­can are­nas – must have wit­nessed some shit, been invit­ed to a few pool­side sex par­ties, in his time.
“I’ve seen a cou­ple of things,” he nods in agree­ment. ​“But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”
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stylesnews · 5 years
Text
The Face - Volume 4 . Issue 1
A hand­shake can quell polit­i­cal unrest and sti­fle impend­ing war. It can, with a bit of spit, val­i­date a gentleman’s agree­ment, end a years-long roman­tic rela­tion­ship or send a young heart rac­ing. But it all depends on the two par­ties involved.
Daisy, 21, felt a seis­mic jolt when Har­ry Styles, 25, wear­ing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fin­gers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gela­to at the shop where she worked.
“He decid­ed on a small mint choco­late gela­to and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ​‘Can I just say I absolute­ly loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ​‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ​‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCK­ING EXTEND­ED HIS HAND AND REACHEDTO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTU­AL­LY FUCK­ING SHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THEFUCK,” she wrote on Insta­gram after The Shak­en­ing. ​“Like I didn’t even say any­thing to gas him up besides ​‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHATA BEAU­TI­FUL FUCK­ING HUMAN BEING THAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW[sic] LIVES FOREVER.”
For Har­ry Styles, a hand­shake can be a roman­tic ges­ture, con­jur­ing a potent rev­er­ence in its recip­i­ent, like the time he met Gucci’s cre­ative direc­tor Alessan­dro Michele. ​“He was as attrac­tive as James Dean and as per­sua­sive as Gre­ta Gar­bo. He was like a Luchi­no Vis­con­ti char­ac­ter, like an Apol­lo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, has­ten­ing to add: ​“Of course, Har­ry is not aware of this.”
No, Styles has no idea the pow­er he wields. In per­son, he’s tow­er­ing, like some­one who is not that much taller but whose rep­u­ta­tion adds four inch­es. Styles has a seda­tive bari­tone, spo­ken in a rum­my north­ern Eng­lish accent, that tum­bles out so slow­ly you for­get the name of your first born, a swag­ger that has been nursed and per­fect­ed in myth­i­cal places with names like Pais­ley Park, or Abbey Road, or Grace­land. Makes com­plete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Pres­ley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcom­ing biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one but­ton on his shirt cling­ing for dear life around his tor­so. Then the part was award­ed to anoth­er actor, Austin Butler.
“[Elvis] was such an icon for me grow­ing up,” Styles tells me. ​“There was some­thing almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I end­ed up get­ting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t dis­ap­point­ed,” he adds of his ini­tial research and prepa­ra­tions to play The King. He seems relaxed about los­ing the part to But­ler. ​“I feel like if I’m not the right per­son for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”
Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boy­band grad was clear­ly unin­ter­est­ed in hol­low­ing out the charts with more for­mu­la­ic meme pop. Instead, to the sur­prise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ​’70s rock. Some of the One Direc­tion fan-hordes might have been con­fused, but no mat­ter: Har­ry Styles sold one mil­lion copies.
Despite its com­mer­cial and crit­i­cal suc­cess, he didn’t tour the album right away. He want­ed to act in the Christo­pher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his cred­it, his por­tray­al of a British sol­dier cow­er­ing in a moored boat on the French beach­es as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skew­ered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madon­na or Justin Tim­ber­lake. Per­haps he was fol­low­ing advice giv­en by Elton John, who had urged him to diver­si­fy. ​“He was bril­liant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of peo­ple by sur­prise,” John writes in an email. ​“I love how he takes chances and risks.” Act­ing, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.
“Why do I want to act? It’s so dif­fer­ent to music for me,” he says, sud­den­ly ani­mat­ed. ​“They’re almost oppo­site for me. Music, you try and put so much of your­self into it; act­ing, you’re try­ing to total­ly dis­ap­pear in who­ev­er you’re being.”
Fol­low­ing the news that he missed out on Pres­ley, his name was float­ed for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Lit­tle Mer­maid. How­ev­er, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. ​“It was dis­cussed,” he acknow­ledges before swift­ly chang­ing the sub­ject. ​“I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But every­one involved in it was amaz­ing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watch­ing it, I’m sure.”
The new album is wrapped and the sin­gle is decid­ed upon. ​“It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ​‘n’ roll leg­end Ste­vie Nicks, told me recent­ly over the phone. ​“It’s not like any­thing One Direc­tion ever did. It’s pure Har­ry, as Har­ry would say. He’s made a very dif­fer­ent record and it’s spectacular.”
Beyond that, Styles is keep­ing his cards close to his chest as to his next musi­cal move. How­ev­er, the air is thick with rumours that his main wing­man for HS2 is Kid Har­poon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Crea­ture. No less an author­i­ty than Liam Gal­lagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same stu­dio – RAK in north-west Lon­don – at the same time mak­ing their sec­ond solo albums. Styles played him a cou­ple of tracks, ​“and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gal­lagher enthused. ​“A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”
Har­ry Styles met Nicks at a Fleet­wood Mac con­cert in Los Ange­les in April 2015. Some­thing about him felt authen­tic to the leg­endary front­woman: ground­ed, like she’d known him for­ev­er, blessed with a win­ning moon­shot grin. A month lat­er, they met back­stage at anoth­er Mac gig, this time at the O2 in Lon­don. Styles brought a car­rot cake for Nicks’ birth­day, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admis­sion, Nicks doesn’t even cel­e­brate birth­days, so this was a sur­prise. ​“He was per­son­al­ly respon­si­ble for me actu­al­ly hav­ing to cel­e­brate my birth­day, which was very sweet,” she says.
Styles’ rela­tion­ship with Nicks is hard to define. Induct­ing her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist ear­li­er this year, his speech hymned her as a ​“mag­i­cal gyp­sy god­moth­er who occu­pies the in-between”. She’s called him her ​“lovechild” with Mick Fleet­wood and the ​“son I nev­er had”. Both have moved past the pre­lim­i­nary chat acknowl­edg­ing each other’s unquan­tifi­able tal­ents and smooth­ly accel­er­at­ed towards play­ful cut-and-thrust ban­ter of a witch mom and her naughty child.
They per­form togeth­er – he sings The Chain and Stop Drag­gin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one alleged­ly writ­ten about Tay­lor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those per­for­mances was at the Guc­ci Cruise after­par­ty in Rome in May, for ​“a lot of mon­ey”, Nicks tells me, in a ​“big kind of cas­tle place”. She has become his de fac­to men­tor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequenc­ing (“She is real­ly good at track list­ing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voic­es… because, well, wouldn’t you?
Fol­low­ing anoth­er Fleet­wood Mac con­cert, at London’s Wem­b­ley Sta­di­um, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indi­an) din­ner. He then invit­ed her back to his semi-detached Geor­gian man­sion in north Lon­don for a lis­ten­ing par­ty at mid­night. The album – HS2or what­ev­er it’ll be called – was fin­ished. Nicks, her assis­tant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ liv­ing-room couch. They lis­tened to it once through in silence like a ​“bunch of edu­cat­ed monks or some­thing in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offer­ing live feed­back. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleed­ing through the curtains.
Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, press­ing ​“play” on a deeply per­son­al work for your hero to digest, watch­ing her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?
“It’s a dou­ble-edged thing,” he replies. ​“You’re always ner­vous when you are play­ing peo­ple music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you for­get that peo­ple haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are hap­py with some­thing and then some­one who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ​‘I real­ly like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feel­ing very com­fort­able with what­ev­er else hap­pens to it.”
Wad­ing through Styles’ back­ground info is exhaust­ing, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every god­dam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been doc­u­ment­ed from six angles. (And yes, he does some­times wear guyliner.)
Deep breath: born in Red­ditch, Worces­ter­shire, to par­ents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was sev­en. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sis­ter Gem­ma, mum and step­dad Robin Twist. Rode hors­es at a near­by sta­ble for free (“I was a bad rid­er, but I was a rid­er”). Stopped rid­ing, ​“got into dif­fer­ent stuff”. Formed a band, White Eski­mo, with school­mates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Fac­torwith a stir­ring but aver­age ren­di­tion of Ste­vie Wonder’s Isn’t She Love­ly. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four oth­ers, Louis Tom­lin­son, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direc­tion. Became inter­na­tion­al­ly famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dat­ed but maybe didn’t date Car­o­line Flack, Rita Ora and Tay­lor Swift – whom he report­ed­ly dumped in the British Vir­gin Islands. (This rela­tion­ship, if noth­ing else, yield­ed an icon­ic, can­did shot of Swift look­ing deject­ed, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Fly­ing Ray.) One Direc­tion dis­cussed dis­band­ing in 2014, actu­al­ly dis­solved in 2015. They remain friend­ly, and Styles offi­cial­ly went solo in 2016.
It’s been two years since his epony­mous debut and lead sin­gle, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swag­ger­ing, soft rock sound. ​“It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.
After 89 are­na-packed shows across five con­ti­nents grossed him, the label, whomev­er, over $61mil­lion, Styles had all but dis­ap­peared. He has emerged only inter­mit­tent­ly for pub­lic-fac­ing events – a Guc­ci after­par­ty per­for­mance here, a Met Gala co-chair­ing there. He relo­cat­ed from Los Ange­les back to Lon­don, sell­ing his Hol­ly­wood Hills house for $6 mil­lion and ship­ping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.
“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. ​“My rela­tion­ship with LA changed a lot. What I want­ed from LA changed.”
A great escape, he would agree, is some­times nec­es­sary. He was in Tokyo for most of Jan­u­ary, hav­ing near­ly fin­ished his album. ​“I need­ed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ​‘Is it fin­ished? Where am I at? What’s hap­pen­ing?’ I real­ly need­ed that time away from every­one. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sab­bat­i­cal most­ly involved read­ing Haru­ki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chron­i­cle, singing Nir­vana at karaoke, writ­ing alone in his hotel room, lis­ten­ing to music and eaves­drop­ping on strangers in alien con­ver­sa­tion. ​“It was just a pos­i­tive time for my head and I think that impact­ed the album in a big way.”
Dur­ing this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Some­times he texts these rec­om­men­da­tions to his pal Michele at Guc­ci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Mac­graw film, Love Sto­ry. ​“We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dress­ing up and he loves dress­ing up.”
Because he loves dress­ing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Guc­ci Tai­lor­ing cam­paigns and of its new gen­der­less fra­grance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.
“The moment I met him, I imme­di­ate­ly under­stood there was some­thing strong around him,” Michele tells me. ​“I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thought­ful way, with uncombed hair and a beau­ti­ful voice. I thought he gath­ered with­in him­self the fem­i­nine and the masculine.”
Fash­ion, for Styles, is a play­ground. Some­thing he doesn’t take too seri­ous­ly. A cou­ple of years ago Har­ry Lam­bert, his styl­ist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metal­lic Saint Lau­rent boots that he has nev­er been pho­tographed wear­ing. They are exceed­ing­ly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them ​“to get milk”. They are, in his words, ​“super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ball­park, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full clos­ets in at least three post­codes. He set­tles on an out­fit fair­ly quick­ly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before head­ing out, but most­ly knows what he likes.
What he may not ful­ly com­pre­hend is that sim­ply by being pho­tographed in a gar­ment he can spur the career of a design­er, as he has with Har­ris Reed, Palo­mo Spain, Charles Jef­frey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Guc­ci flo­ral suit to the 2015 Amer­i­can Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red car­pet, Guc­ci began trend­ing world­wide on Twitter.
“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s run­way designs and, at the time, men were not tak­ing too many red car­pet risks,” says Lam­bert. ​“Who knows if it influ­enced oth­ers, but it was a spe­cial moment. Plus, it was fun see­ing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”
Yet tra­di­tion­al gen­der codes of dress still have the minds of mid­dle Amer­i­ca in a choke­hold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him ​“trag­ic”, ​“a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. ​“What’s fem­i­nine and what’s mas­cu­line, what men are wear­ing and what women are wear­ing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”
Elton John agrees: ​“It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Har­ry has the same qualities.”
Then there is the ques­tion of Styles’ sex­u­al­i­ty, some­thing he has admit­ted­ly ​“nev­er real­ly start­ed to label”, which will plague him until he does. Per­haps it’s part of his allure. He’s bran­dished a pride flag that read ​“Make Amer­i­ca Gay Again” on stage, and plant­ed a stake some­where left of cen­tre on sexuality’s rain­bow spectrum.
“In the posi­tion that he’s in, he can’t real­ly say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks vol­umes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face ear­li­er this year.
“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turn­ing on how he can dis­cuss sex­u­al­i­ty with­out real­ly answer­ing. ​“I’m not always super-out­spo­ken. But I think it’s very clear from choic­es that I make that I feel a cer­tain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He paus­es again, piv­ots. ​“I want every­one to feel wel­come at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m nev­er unsup­port­ed, so it feels weird for me to over­think it for some­one else.”
Sex­u­al­i­ty aside, he must acknowl­edge that he has sex appeal. ​“The word ​‘sexy’ sounds so strange com­ing out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s prob­a­bly why I would not con­sid­er myself sexy.”
Har­ry Styles has emerged ful­ly-formed, an anachro­nis­tic rock star, vague in sen­si­bil­i­ty but des­tined to impress with a dis­arm­ing smile and a warm but firm handshake.
I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hyn­de of The Pre­tenders about her time atop rock’s throne: ​“I nev­er got into this for the mon­ey or because I want­ed to join in the super­star sex around the swim­ming pools. I did it because the offer of a record con­tract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a wait­ress. Now, I’m not so sure.”
Styles – who worked in a bak­ery in a small north­ern town some time before play­ing to 40,000scream­ing fans in South Amer­i­can are­nas – must have wit­nessed some shit, been invit­ed to a few pool­side sex par­ties, in his time.
“I’ve seen a cou­ple of things,” he nods in agree­ment. ​“But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”
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