#and then yesterday I found out the people working on the show got laid off

[steddieas-shegoes]

“Steve! We have to go!”

“I’m coming!” He yelled back to Robin, still searching through his closet for the pants he planned for their night out. “Where the hell are they?”

He was throwing things out of the way, not caring where they landed.

That was a problem for future Steve.

Current Steve needed to look as hot as possible.

His dry spell would be over tonight. He wasn’t leaving the bar until it was.

“Steve!”

“Robin! Where are the jeans?”

“What jeans?”

“The jeans! The ones that you told me to wear!”

“Didn’t you wear them yesterday?”

“No! I saved them!”

But Steve looked over at his laundry basket where his shirt was hanging over and the pair of jeans he was looking for peeked through.

He did wear them yesterday.

Fuck.

Okay, back up options.

The dark jeans that actually probably belonged to someone else and didn’t fit his thighs right? No, he needed to show off his thighs.

The light jeans he hadn’t worn in at least a year because there was a questionable stain that wouldn’t come out? Well, it would be dark in the bar, but no. He’d know about it.

The jeans he wore earlier that weren’t special but also weren’t bad? How would that help him get laid? No.

So he looked back the jeans in his hamper, ignoring Robin’s angry yelling from outside his door.

“Found them! Two minutes!”

He put on the jeans, hoping they didn’t smell or have any stains on them.

He ignored Robin as he threw on his coat that was hanging on the back of the couch and ignored the dull headache blossoming across his temples.

He opened the door and started to leave.

“You coming?” He asked over his shoulder, laughing when Robin smacked his arm as she passed by him.

“Don’t act like you’re waiting on me. I’ve been waiting on you for 30 minutes!”

They barely spoke on the way to the bar, Robin already sensing his headache and probably hoping the silence would make it better before the night got started.

She was amazing.

Steve couldn’t live without her.

But hopefully, they’d both find someone tonight. They needed it.

— — — —

Steve wasn’t having any luck. In fact, he’d never had worse luck.

His head was pounding at this point, music much louder than usual, more people crowded around his usual spot. The three men and one woman he’d danced with so far were fun, but not really his type. He’d been a little upset about seemingly wasting his time, but swallowed down the bitter feeling when he saw Robin dancing with the same girl for three songs, huge smile on her face.

At least one of them was getting something from tonight.

He stood at the far corner of the bar, trying to be out of the way as best he could. He needed to have some water, but he knew the bartender wouldn’t be pleased about getting pulled away from actual paying customers. He would wait for a lull and then get his attention.

It was a new guy, or at least one who didn’t normally work the shifts Steve was here. He was pretty.

There was no other way to describe him; long, curly hair, tattoos everywhere, wide Bambi eyes, tall and thin frame that still held hidden muscle. Steve’s dream, really.

Too bad his vision was getting blurry from the headache.

He had to reevaluate his plan and get water now before he went into full migraine territory. He couldn’t pull Robin away from her night just because he had to get home safely with a debilitating migraine.

He started trying to wave to the bartender anytime he looked over towards Steve’s end of the bar, but it didn’t work.

He tried yelling over the crowd and music, but it ended up making his head throb worse.

He finally managed to throw a napkin at him when he was standing a few feet away.

Not his finest moment, but he’d apologize when he had water.

The bartender looked over at him with raised brows.

“Need something?”

Steve couldn’t help the shame he felt about literally everything happening at that moment.

“Water please?”

The bartender nodded once and grabbed a cup to fill with ice and water. Steve felt some of his muscles relax knowing that he was going to be able to hydrate a little.

When he placed it in front of Steve, he slid a small cup of lemons with it.

“Squeeze a little in there. Helps with headaches.”

Steve knew he was looking at Eddie like the sun shone out of his ass. It would be embarrassing if he wasn’t so dreadfully miserable from the almost-migraine.

“Thanks.” Then he realized how shitty he must look if the bartender knew what was going on from just looking at him. “Wait. How’d you know?”

“My uncle gets them bad. He always gets pale and his eyes get bloodshot when one’s coming. You looked in the mirror lately?”

Steve shook his head, then winced at the way it made his head pound.

“You here with someone?”

“Yeah. She’s dancing.”

“Need me to have an announcement made for her?”

“No, let me drink this first.”

The bartender nodded, but Steve noticed he kept checking on him between serving other drinks to people.

Steve used more lemon than he probably should have, but he had a whole cup of it, and it couldn’t hurt to use more.

He rested his head against the wall next to him, wincing at the excessive vibrations from the music.

Normally, he loved that their hole in the wall bar got loud and fun once a week. Tonight, he wished he could be surrounded by silence.

He knew he was getting worse, but he didn’t want to bother Robin, who was still dancing with the same girl. She’d probably go home with her as long as Steve didn’t interrupt.

He felt a hand on his forehead, slowly brushing sweaty hair away. He tried opening his eyes, but even the small amount of light seeping through his eyelids was too much.

“Hey, I’m Eddie. I’m the bartender. My relief just walked in so I’m gonna help you to the back, okay?”

Steve could barely nod, the pain in his head throbbing down his jaw and neck. He reached his hand towards the voice and managed to make contact with Eddie. Hopefully, Eddie understood he was not gonna be able to do anything helpful at this point.

He felt an arm around his waist, guiding him away from the bar, but Steve still didn’t want to try opening his eyes. He had to trust Eddie.

He should’ve stayed home. He knew the dull pain he felt earlier would turn into worse, but he was so stuck on getting in bed with someone, he came anyway.

Eddie was walking slowly, keeping a firm grip on Steve so he wouldn’t jostle him around too much. Maybe if Steve weren’t getting his brain attacked by hammers and knives, he’d be trying to get Eddie in bed.

That thought came and went though as he realized how pitiful it was that a grown man couldn’t even walk himself home because he had a migraine.

Eddie would probably tell this incredibly embarrassing story to everyone here and laugh about it for weeks.

Steve was in and out of it for the next few minutes, unable to really focus on anything around him besides the warm hand on his hip. Despite being sweaty enough to wring water from his shirt, he still felt cold, shivers occasionally wracking his body.

This was a really bad one.

He was so stupid for being stuck in a bar for this.

His brain registered a door closing, then a fan turning on. It wasn’t completely silent, but the outside noise was a small echo in his brain compared to the banging it had been previously.

“Gonna set you on the couch in the corner and get some ice.”

Steve didn’t acknowledge him, but he let out the most ridiculous whimper when Eddie set him down on the couch, slowly laying him back so his whole body was flat. He heard the door open and close, but was so focused on how nice the air from the fan felt, he didn’t hear the door open and close when Eddie came back in.

“Alright, gonna put this on your head. Where’s it hurt?”

“Everywhere.”

Eddie sighed, but placed the bag of ice on his forehead to start.

“Get these often?”

Steve appreciated his very low voice, knowing that anything at a regular volume would probably be too much in this quiet room.

“Mhm.”

“I grabbed you more water too. Think you can have a sip?”

“Mm. No.”

He heard Eddie laughing quietly, but he couldn’t smile back at him.

“You live close?”

“Mhm. Mile.”

“I live closer.”

“Hm?”

“Welcome to my humble abode. I own the bar, work at the bar, and live at the bar. Technically this is the staff office, but upstairs is my bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. If you think you can handle the stairs, you can sleep in my bed and I’ll take the couch. I’ll let your friend know you’re here too if you give me a name.”

“Steve.”

“Your friend’s name is Steve?”

“No. Mine.”

“Okay, what’s your friend’s name, Steve?”

“Robin.”

He tried opening his eyes so he could see his surroundings, but they were so heavy. Leave it to Steve to end up suffering with the worst migraine he’s had all year at a bar with a hot bartender taking care of him and he can’t even open his eyes to fully appreciate it.

He distantly heard the door again, but must’ve fallen asleep for a bit because the next thing he knew, he felt hands on his face.

“You’re sure he can stay here?”

“Robs?”

“Steve. You idiot. You should’ve told me it was getting worse.”

She was whispering, but she was angry with him and he knew she would be yelling if she was a worse friend.

“Sorry.”

“Eddie’s gonna handle it. I’m gonna take Chrissy home. You call me as soon as you’re up, got it? I’ll send the cops here to break down the doors if I don’t hear by lunch time tomorrow.”

“Got it.”

He was gonna forget, but hopefully Eddie would remind him.

When he had bad migraines, he pretty much forget everything he did or said. None of the doctors could explain it. He’d had scans done, and there were no signs of memory diseases, so it was just a part of the trauma from multiple concussions.

He could hear Robin telling Eddie the same thing. If he could make his face work, he’d probably smile.

He drifted again, but he could hear Robin still talking to Eddie as he did.

The next time he was fully aware, he was in a bed. The bed was huge, and there were so many pillows around him, it felt like a fort.

Two blankets were on top of him, one so soft he couldn’t help rubbing his cheek against it. He was surrounded by a cozy, light cologne smell.

He was also fully clothed.

His jeans were itchy, and he suddenly felt claustrophobic as he realized the sun was up and he was alone in a stranger’s bed.

He sat up and looked around.

The room itself wasn’t that big, the bed taking up most of the space. The door was closed, but he could hear someone moving around outside of it. He looked to the right to see a door that must lead to a bathroom.

He quickly got out of the bed, shoving his shoes on and grabbing his wallet off the table. He opened the door and saw the back of a man with long, curly hair.

The bartender.

Eddie.

Eddie had taken care of him during his migraine. His migraine that he should’ve known was coming and stayed the hell home.

He was an idiot.

When Eddie turned around, he felt his heart stop.

God, he was pretty.

Like, Steve might have to change up the nights he comes to the bar just to get a glimpse of this beautiful man.

“Hey. Feeling better? Must be since you’re standing without support.”

Steve blushed. He’d never been in this position before, and he had no idea what the proper etiquette is for thanking someone for taking care of you when you’re unable to even move or talk.

“Uh. Yeah, much better. Um.” Steve awkwardly stood by the counter while Eddie continued mixing coffee in a mug. “Thanks for. All that.”

Eddie was laughing. In another circumstance, Steve may have found it cute, maybe been proud of himself for making a hot guy laugh.

But he was dealing with a migraine hangover, which usually left him grumpy.

Eddie must’ve noticed because he stopped laughing abruptly.

His head tilted to the side as he looked Steve up and down.

“You know, Robin called four times already this morning to check on you. You should probably call her and let her know I didn’t murder you and hide the body already.”

“Okay. Yeah. I.” He felt around in his pockets and couldn’t feel his phone. Shit.

“Over there. Charging.” Eddie said as he pointed towards the table by his front door.

“Thanks.”

Steve walked over to his phone to see 33 missed calls from Robin.

He called her back immediately, not wanting her to actually show up with a SWAT team.

“Thank god! Steve, I told you to call by lunch. I was just about to call Hop.”

“You’re the one who left me here.”

“Yes, assuming you’d wake up early enough that I wouldn’t assume you’ve been murdered!”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 3:00, Steve!”

“Fuck. Okay. I’m leaving now.”

Eddie cleared his throat and nodded at the counter, which now had a plate of fried eggs, toast, bacon, and sausage on it.

“Okay I’m eating, then I’m leaving.”

“You better text me. I’ll show up with Hop!”

“Robin. Jesus.” Steve felt a bit lightheaded. “I am literally at the bar. You know where I am and who I’m with. Chill.”

“You were incapacitated.”

“And now I’m not. I can escape if I have to.”

“You’re not as strong as you think you are!”

He hung up before she kept going. She would stay on the phone for hours if he let her, and he wasn’t in the mood.

He made his way to the counter and sat down, smiling at the steaming food.

“You didn’t have to cook all this. Especially this late in the afternoon. You probably have to head down to the bar.”

“Nah. I own the place. I just work there to keep myself busy. I’m all yours until you’re good to go home.”

Steve didn’t have much of a response for that, his brain still firing on the bare minimum. Migraine hangovers were worse than actual hangovers.

He ate a few bites silently, then looked up to see Eddie setting a cup of tea in front of him.

“What’s this?”

“Technically, sleepy time tea. But it works really well for headaches.”

“Oh. Thanks. It won’t like, make me fall asleep?”

Eddie laughed and Steve decided he was happy to hear it now.

“No. It has relaxing properties to it, but it doesn’t actually make you drowsy.”

Steve took a few small sips and smiled.

“It’s good.”

“My uncle says I make the best.” Eddie leaned over the counter with a smile. “So, you thought going to a bar was a good idea with a headache? On our DJ night?”

“It wasn’t that bad when I left. Thought I’d be okay.”

“Mhm. So you get these a lot?”

“Well. I mean I do get migraines a lot. But that one was one of the worst I’ve had in a while. I can usually still talk and walk enough to get to my own bed.”

“Do you remember everything?”

Steve knew he had a lot of blank spots in his memory from last night. If Eddie wasn’t such a nice guy, he’d probably be more worried about it.

“No. I have memory problems when I get them.”

“Ah. Well that’s okay. I got you into bed pretty easily. You only woke up twice. Once to use the bathroom, which you managed to do alone. The second time you were crying about having to sleep alone? I couldn’t understand all of it, but that seemed to be the gist.”

“Oh.” Steve sighed. “That’s super embarrassing. Guess I’ll never come back here. Maybe never leave my house again.”

Eddie smirked. “I dunno. I think maybe I could fix the sleeping alone thing. You know, when you’re not incapacitated from a migraine.”

“You’re serious?”

Eddie nodded.

“You saw me like that and would actually want to be around me again?”

“I was hoping for more than around you. Maybe on you? In you? Next to you? All of those sound good.”

Steve choked on his next bite.

“Uh.”

He took a sip of the tea to help clear his throat, ignoring the way Eddie was moving around the counter.

“You know, Robin kept me on the phone for about an hour earlier, telling me all about how you’re the best guy she’s ever known and she’s a lesbian for a reason so that means a lot. Said you guys come here once a week because it’s the best place to find decent people, not just anyone. Said you’ve both had a bit of a dry spell.”

“She’s exaggerating.”

“Oh, so it hasn’t been eight months since you’ve taken someone home?”

“No.”

Eddie’s eyebrows raised in a challenge.

“It’s been ten.”

“My bar hasn’t been good to you, I guess.”

“Up until last night, I guess not. But I still prefer it over the clubs.”

“Until last night?”

“Yeah. The guy who owns the place kind of rescued me and let me sleep in his really comfy bed. He probably deserves something for that.”

“Oh? What does he deserve?”

“Well, I’d offer a blowjob, but I’m out of practice and might disappoint.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“But maybe he’d be okay with a real date?”

“When would this date be?”

“Maybe tonight?”

“Hm. He has to check the bar schedule, make sure no one needs coverage.”

“He can text me later to confirm.”

“I sure hope you’re giving me your number to do that.”

Steve laughed and held his hand out. Eddie placed his phone in his hand and waited for him to type his name and number in his contacts.

When Steve handed it back, their hands grazed each other. Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, squeezing for a moment.

“Dinner here? Maybe 8?”

“I thought you had to check the schedule.”

“Nah, just needed your number. I make the schedule, I know it like the back of my hand.”

Steve shook his head.

“Can’t start a relationship on lies.”

“Oh, a relationship? You move quick don’t you.”

Steve did. He knew he did. It’s why he’d never been able to keep anyone around. He moved like he was ready for marriage on the first date, and usually people didn’t like that.

He looked down at his lap, already prepared to lose Eddie’s interest.

But he felt a hand on his cheek, slowly guiding him to look up.

“Dinner here at 8?”

“Uh. Yeah. Please.”

Eddie smirked at him before he placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Just be yourself, Steve. I like you just fine. And I’ve already seen you at your worst and your crazy best friend. It’s all uphill from here.” Eddie pulled away and moved back to start cleaning dishes from his cooking. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll end up married by the end of the year.”

“Now you’re making fun of me.”

“Am I?”

Eddie looked over his shoulder, serious look on his face.

“Are you?”

“No. Stranger things have happened.”

[kingofpopmj]

Something About You Baby

Summary: You watched behind the scenes as filming for In The Closet began. Michael in work mode was one of your favorite things, but there was something different about this time.

Pairing: Michael Jackson x Reader!

Warning: AWKWARD TENSION, ARGUING AND CURSING

Requested: yes

*Y/N’s POV*

It was hot. Everything. The weather. The onscreen couple. The wardrobe. Everything. It felt like only yesterday Michael jumped out of bed and began scribbling notes in the notebook I’d put in his nightstand for moments like this. I laid on my side watching him hum and beatbox until he found the right melody. His process was incredible to witness. It was so damn sexy when he lost himself in the music.

“What do you think?” Michael smiled, standing still as I eyed him up and down— taking my sweet time of course.

“Very handsome.” I leaned in, my lips molding to the curve of his cheek. “Aren’t you going to be hot in those jeans?”

“Yeah, but I don’t have many other options.”

“You could wear a speedo.” I teased.

“I think that would negate the subtly I was going for.”

“Boo. You’re no fun.” I giggled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and twirling my fingers through the strands of his ponytail.

“Plus, those don’t seem very comfortable or supportive for that matter.”

“Must you always overthink my jokes?”

“How about… I give you a private show later. I’ll pull out all my best moves and definitely no speedos.” I could feel his fingers slip under the hem of my shirt, tracing my hipbone.

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

“Only the best for my lady.”

“We should get out there… the longer you look at me like that the closer we are to getting this trailer rockin’. I only have so much self control.” I pouted, dragging the pads of my fingers along the details of his shoulder muscles.

“I love the hell out of you. You know that?”

“I had an inkling.”

“Come on. They’re waiting for us.”

Michael held out his arm for me to take before guiding me with him to where everyone was waiting. After quick pleasantries, I looked on silently as they begun talking business. Michael spoke with the director about some last minute ideas. I took the moment to look around, it was a simple set and I was looking forward to seeing how they’d utilize everything.

“This is Y/N, my better half.” Michael’s voice brought me back into the conversation. When I turned my head I was face to face with his love interest for the day.

“Hello, it’s great to meet you.” I smiled, trying to hide how utterly intimidated I’d felt. The more I looked at her the more I felt myself shrink— she’s like a fucking goddess.

“Hi, I’m Naomi, it’s exciting to finally meet you. Michael talks about you constantly. I feel like I already know you.” She was tall with long hair and a costume which showed off her toned physique. She was absolutely beautiful.

Michael whispered in my ear about needing to take care of something and left me alone with the supermodel. We continued talking and laughing together. She was actually pretty easy to talk to. It wasn’t long until I didn’t feel so insecure anymore. I mean she’s still stunning, but she also seemed kind. She’s Michaels friend— good friend. He doesn’t have many of those, people he can trust, so that’s another plus in my book.

“Mike should’ve just had you in the video.” She nudged me with her elbow. “I think that would’ve really brought the shock value. No one would expect it, since he’s so protective of you.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he’d go for that at all. Plus, I couldn’t— I get a little camera shy.”

“Don’t be shy. Own it, I know I would. You’re with the most successful man in the world. He chose you, don’t be shy, don’t hide. Who gives a shit what they say. If you ask me, you’ve already won.”

“I’ve won? Won what?”

“Seriously?” She laughed, shaking her head and gesturing with her head in the direction of where Michael was. “Happiness.” She stated simply. “People would do anything for true happiness. You’ve got it. It brings out the envy in most.” I stared at her for a moment, my eyes searching hers for understanding. She didn’t smile this time. She looked at me with this expression that sent a shiver through my body. By the time I’d figured out what to say to her, we were interrupted before I could get the words out.

“Excuse me, Naomi, we need you.” She excused herself and walked off to the makeshift church, posing in front of it as they checked the lighting.

She’s really fitting for the role. There’s no way I could’ve done that— the outfit alone. She looked more comfortable in it— in front of all these people more than I ever could.

I was left with this uneasy feeling. Nonetheless, I watched on as they got in position. She smiled, batting her eyes when Michael emerged from his trailer. I recognized the excitement, the hitch in her breathing, but the real give away was the way her face fell when he made his way to me. She had no idea how to mask her emotions, which made it difficult to brush off.

“Y/N, baby.” His sweet voice sounded from beside as I felt his embrace.

“Hi.” I said simply, pulling my focus away from her and the anger I felt— it wasn’t important. It’s not worth it. Michael has had many admirers. This won’t be any different. Like she said, I shouldn’t hide. I should own it.

“We’re about to start. I need for you to stay right here, okay?”

“Here? Okay. I can do that.” I crossed my legs and sat back in my chair. “Oh, I love it when you give me orders.”

“Stop it.” He jumped towards me, covering my lips. “You really want me to break your back in the middle of a desert?”

“I mean if you’re offering.” I couldn’t help myself I loved the look on his face when I flirted with him, especially in public.

“You’ve gotta stop getting me started when there’s people around.” He muttered under his breath, adjusting his jeans discreetly. “Naughty.”

“Fine. I’ll be good.”

“I’ll be right over there.” He pointed over to where a dusty old car was parked. “I need to have you in my eye line, so I can sing to you. I need you there. It’ll help my nerves— seeing you will help me.”

“I won’t move.”

“Thank you.”

I did exactly as I was told. I didn’t move.

Every time they took breaks in between filming, Michael was right by my side acting a fool. He was so amped up, everything I said only added to his craziness.

“Put ‘em up!” Michael yelled from behind me.

“You scared the shit out of me!” When I turned around he had a bright green water gun pointing at me and a brown cowboy hat on.

“Hands in the air fine lady!”

“You don’t have to yell—” That’s when I felt cold liquid hit me in the forehead. “What is that? It’s burning my eye.”

“I’m Sheriff Jackson and you are under arrest. Put your hands in the air.”

“Sprite?” I asked as the substance dripped down onto my lips. “You goon, did you really fill that water gun with soda?”

“Stop resisting arrest, ma’am. Don’t make me handcuff you.”

“Where’d you get that from?” I laughed, poking the shiny badge clipped to his chest. “You’re silly. So, you’re the Sheriff?”

“Yes ma’am and I suggest you start cooperating.”

“Can I ask what I’m being charged with?” I teased, tilting my chin up with my hands in front of me— cooperating.

“Being sexy.”

“That’s not a crime. It seems to me like an abuse of power on your part.”

“Yes, I use this badge to get near beautiful women. You caught me.” He grabbed my wrist, pulling me out of the chair and into his chest. “If you give me some lovin’. I’ll let you go— charges dropped.”

“You’re so damn annoying.” I kissed him roughly, sinking my hands slipping through the strands of his hair. “You’re lucky you’re so scrumptious, Sheriff.”

“Having fun?”

“I would be if I wasn’t all sticky from being shot at with sprite.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll lick it off of you later.” He winked, dancing around me and pinching my butt. “I’ll have an hour for lunch, if you’re interested.”

“I’ll go pick up your favorite.”

“You’re my favorite.” He walked me over to the car and kissed me. “I can’t believe I’m helping a fugitive escape.” He murmured against my lips.

“Sheriff, the only thing I’m guilty of is having dirty thoughts about you.” I kissed his cheek, his jawline then his neck as I felt his heart begin to race. I pulled away, smiling up at him. “I should get going.”

“Tease.” He huffed, smacking my butt as I turned to get into the car. “Drive safe. I love you.”

“I love you.” He shut the door softly, leaning through the open window to kiss me one last time before I drove off.

When I pulled up to set, paper bags in hand everything felt the same. It wasn’t until my eyes landed on Michael that I realized I was wrong. He jumped slightly when I greeted him and was painfully quiet.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, thanks for getting food.” He sounded genuine in his tone, but the way he was pushing food around his plate with a fork told me there was more.

“Michael, you can—”

“Please!” He jumped up, dodging my hand as I tried to reach out to him. “Just drop it.”

There was so much I wanted to say. I had so many questions, but I stayed silent. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I immediately felt sick, I looked like a scared kid who’d just been grounded. I felt so damn confused.

“I gotta get back.” I watched as he left the trailer, his head hanging forward and his steps small but steady.

“Okay.” I said after the door shut. I felt helpless. I had no idea what the hell was going on. I thought about how clear he’d been about me taking my spot behind the camera, but right now it felt like he didn’t want me there.

Yet, my feet still carried me outside where the atmosphere had dramatically changed.

“3… 2… Action!”

I stared at my hands, resting in my lap, trying to think over the events of today. I had no idea what could be bothering Michael, but it was serious. I could feel it. When I finally built up the courage to look at him he spun around quickly avoiding my eyes. I don’t think I ever felt more devastated than in this moment.

“How was that?” I heard a voice speak near me. I looked up in time to see the crew walking towards the equipment. This meant they were taking a break— yet Michael was— I didn’t know where he was.

Great. He’s hiding from me now. What’s going on?

The crew had huddled around one of the monitors as they viewed the scene they’d just filmed. They were cheering and applauding at the performance Michael and Naomi were putting on. Even I had to admit, they were doing a great job, very convincing— almost uncomfortable to watch since they were having so much fun groping each other. Truly every girlfriend’s dream to witness her man dry hump in the open desert for a dozen cameras. I’m a lucky girl.

“Look at them. This is going to be hot!”

“That’s a star couple if I ever saw one.”

“People are going to go crazy over this video.”

“They’d be absolutely stunning together. Imagine their babies. Oh, they’d have beautiful babies.”

What the fuck. They’re having babies now? I can’t take much more of this. It’s getting difficult to keep up the supportive girlfriend act. It was easy to tell myself it’s just a job and Michael deserves to have me here cheering him on, but now it felt like I was intruding.

“Naomi, can we get you on the floor?” She flipped her hair and nodded enthusiastically. “Michael, just climb on top of her, do whatever comes to you.”

Yeah, I’m gonna need a break. I hopped out of my chair, walking off before taking one last glance at my boyfriend— that was a big mistake. His hand on Naomi’s chin, guiding her to look up at him from where she was on the floor— in front of him— on her knees.

That’s awesome.

I’m totally okay with this.

I’m not upset. They’re just acting.

And, they just so happened to be great actors.

*Michael’s POV*

As I danced along to the music, something had shifted and I could feel it deep in my soul. I tried to continue, but I was too focused on the empty chair a few yards in front of me. This isn’t right. She wouldn’t just wander off without telling me. I took a deep breath, shaking my head and when the music stopped my feet took off. This felt— it all felt wrong.

“Babe?” I found her stood behind the trailer, her back pushed up against it. “Why’d you leave?”

“It didn’t feel like I was needed anymore.”

“Of course you are. I panicked— I was worried when I didn’t see you.”

“I’m not stupid.” Her eyes were glossy when she finally spoke and her lips stuck in a frown.

“Of course you’re not. I never said you were.” I reached out to her, but she pushed my hand away.

“Well, then, why are you treating me like I am?”

“Babe, what’s going on? What’s this about?”

“This is humiliating.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You can cut the tension with a knife. Why did you even bring me here?”

“Because I need you.”

“It doesn’t— I don’t think you do.”

“Come on. Let’s go inside.” I tried to reach out for her again, but she stepped away, wrapping her arms around herself. She was shielding her from me and it hurt like hell. “Let’s talk. We should talk.”

“It’s in your eyes. They always tell me what you can’t say. I can see it.”

“Honey, see what?”

“Michael, you’re into her.”

“What?”

“You’ve been acting— you haven’t been yourself off camera— with me. I don’t know why, but ever since lunch you’ve been avoiding me. It seems like you rather be over there with her… you’re not being yourself. And, the only explanation I can come up with is that you’re into her.”

“No. No. That’s not true.”

“That’s what it feels like— like you want to be with her. You’re acting different.”

“Baby, no. I promise that’s not it.”

“When they yell cut you practically hide from me, but I can tell. I can see it in your eyes— it’s— there’s something wrong and it looks like when the camera is rolling you’re loving every minute. I can feel it— there’s something going on with her.”

“No, Y/N, no— I don’t want her. This is work and I’m just playing a part.”

“You guys are all over each other—”

“It’s for the film. We’re acting. I’m acting. That’s all.”

“It seems like you’re both really enjoying it. Why are you avoiding me? Like you don’t want to be near me—”

“No, that’s not it! I’m so sorry… I didn’t intend to make you feel that way.”

“What is it then! Am I imagining it?”

“Y/N! No!”

“All you can say is no?”

“No! I mean— shit, not no.”

“You’ve gotta get back out there. I’ll just stay here or I can leave.” She took in a deep breath like she was trying to appear unfazed. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No. Y/N, listen...” I drifted off, feeling helpless. I had no idea what to say— how to say this.

“Just say it.”

“I don’t know…”

“Then, say something, say anything.”

“I was avoiding you because I can’t keep things from you. I’m not a good liar.”

“A good liar? Oh my god. What did you do?”

“Babe.”

“What did you do with her that you need to lie to me about?” Her voice was weak and she started crying profusely at the thought of me betraying her.

“No. Please listen to me.” She still wouldn’t let me touch her, so I settled for placing my hands on the metal exterior of the trailer, on either side of her, blocking her in so she couldn’t run away from me.

“I’m listening.” She muttered, staring off into the distance.

“I’d never do something like that. I didn’t mean— I meant I’m not good at keeping things from you. I hate it actually. And, I thought it was best to not tell you this while we’re still here because I didn’t want you to kill Naomi.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I love you. Do you hear me? I fucking love you. I didn’t want— I thought I was protecting you.”

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Shit. Okay, please don’t be mad.”

“Michael, you’re scaring me.”

“When you left to get us lunch. She came into my trailer—”

“Who?” Her eyes squinted, focusing on my every word and I knew immediately this wasn’t going to end well.

“Naomi, she came onto me.”

“She what!” Y/N yelled, taking me by surprise.

“Oh, you’re already mad. That was quick.” I nervously bit my lip, stalling because I didn’t want to tell her everything. She was going to lose it.

“What did she do Michael?”

“I need you to promise me that you won’t run over there and go all Balboa, okay? There can’t be— you can’t make a scene.”

“Michael, tell me, now.”

“You didn’t promise.”

“Fine. I promise. I won’t make a scene.” Her voice was calm when she said it, showing me a tight lipped smile to reassure me. I didn’t have much time to study that smile before she spoke again. “Now, tell me.”

“Naomi came onto me. She threw herself at me. I didn’t think she’d— it came out of nowhere. I—It made me so uncomfortable. I was kind of embarrassed— but still— honey, I— I should’ve told you. I— S— She grabbed me— like— down there and said things— offered some things I’m not very comfortable repeating—” I didn’t get to finish before she dipped her head under my arm, escaping my makeshift barrier. “Babe!” She didn’t stop and she didn’t look back.

I took a deep breath before chasing after her, but she’d vanished. Damn, I forgot how quick she is. The only hint of her whereabouts was the sound of Naomi’s trailer door being ripped open. I scanned the area anxiously, but nothing seemed off. No one was suspicious of anything. There were no eyes on me. Everyone was going on about their business as usual and that’s when I really noticed how quiet it was. It was too quiet. I couldn’t hear any sounds of a fight which made me curious and a little afraid. Carefully, I walked towards the open door of Naomi’s trailer, peeking inside and nothing. I didn’t see Y/N or Naomi anywhere. I really didn’t want to go inside, but knowing my girl, I’d definitely have to carry her out of here.

“Babe! Are you in here?” There was a slight creaking sound and it was only then I noticed the trailer shaking.

No answer.

“Babe?”

Still nothing.

I placed my foot on the first step, counting to five before going any further, but thankfully that was as far as I had to go. Y/N appeared from the back room with a toothy grin on her face this time, fixing her shirt and dusting herself off.

“Hey baby! There you are.” She chuckled, walking over to me, intertwining our hands and dragging me back outside— away from what she’d done. My gut told me she left behind a crime scene. The way she smiled at me— I had no doubt she took care of business.

“What did you do?” I whispered, studying her body for any visible wounds. I paused, inspecting her hands, specifically her bright red knuckles.

“Nothing.” She shrugged innocently. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t see anything, did you?”

“Y/N, you have to tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Did you hit her? Yell at her? I didn’t hear any yelling. What happened in there?”

“I didn’t hear anything. Did you?” She tilted her head, waiting for my answer. There was something about the way she was looking at me. I wanted to laugh, but I was genuinely curious what she was capable of.

“Babe—”

Before I could finish, Naomi emerged from her trailer, looking— very different. She looked like she’d been to hell and back. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were trained on the floor as she walked by us. She had her hand on her forehead, acting like she was blocking the sun, but I could tell there was more. She was covering something, maybe a scratch or bruise.

“I didn’t cause a scene.” Y/N whispered to me as she brought her lips to mine.

“I’m not sure whether to be scared of you or really turned on right now.” I wasn’t scared of her. I was impressed, maybe that was wrong, but I was.

“You’ll figure it out.” She winked, cupping my face and rubbing her thumb across my cheek.

“Thank you. Thank you so—”

“No need. I’m always going to have your back. I know I promised, but I couldn’t— I couldn’t just let someone get away with doing that to you.”

“Thank you for standing up for me. No one has ever done anything like that for me.”

“And, I always will. You’ll always have me.”

I stared at her in awe for what felt like hours, the way I love her is unlike anything I’ve ever known to exist. She defends me with her whole heart. No matter how low I feel she brings me back up. When I feel like I’m drowning she keeps my head above water. I don’t know how she does it— I don’t know why she does it, but damn would I be lost without it— without her. Fuck, I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her. I knew it the first time I heard her voice. I needed her. My girl.

There’s something about her.

“I love you.” It came out as an exhale, but shit did I put my soul into those three words. I felt a tug at my lips, admiring how she looked at me, like I was her world— the same way I looked at her.

“You should.”

[lab1rynth]

YAN!TATTOOIST

Yan!Tattooist who you meet around the third time you get a tattoo, he was quite well rated in your area so you decided to just try out his work. When you met him you honestly were astonished at how handsome he was, and that immediately made you doubt where you wanted your tattoo, on your thigh.

Yan!Tattoist who worked quite swiftly and delicately on your thigh, his gloved hand gripping onto the skin of your thigh, as he focused, wiping the excess ink off of your skin after finishing a few lines of detail. His playful banter during so was not helping what so ever, your face going red.

Yan!Tattoist who you came to for the rest of your tattoo's, getting them everywhere that put you in some sort of exposed position with him and you had proudly exclaimed to your friends that you had a crush on your tattoo artist. You did however get tired of this one sided love for a while and invited him over for dinner after his shift a few times, which he gladly accepted as he just absolutely loved anything that was food.

Yan!Tattooist who starts to see your crush on him one night as he was out with his friends, they had to explain it to him after he told them about you. He never was too good at understanding other peoples emotions, neither did he understand his most of the time. He did feel drawn to you in some way, he has for a while.

Yan!Tattooist who quietly strays behind his friends, quietly thinking of the new information he just got handed. Then at night he laid in bed staring up at the ceiling as he continued with his thoughts. The next day you would have another appointment with him, he would study you as much as he could in the time being. He found all your social medias, your families social medias, your friends, and everything you're seen in.

Yan!Tattooist who comes in the next day with large eyebags and messy hair, his black button up stopping lower than normal, showing a bit of his chest. He was quite tired but he put on his rubber gloves and went to see you. You were cheerful as always, you smiled and asked him for one of those Lip color tattoos. He asked, "You know its quite common for them to fade away after a while? Pain and bleeding can also occur during, as well as 2 weeks after, the tattoo being made," You nod, "You don't have to keep treating me like I don't know my stuff. I probably know a lot more than you!" You laugh as you told the tattoo artist. He shook his head and smiled, everything you did affected him somehow now that he knows how you feel, how HE feels. Your voice is like music to him.

Yan!Tattooist who sets you down at his booth, getting all the ink and his tattoo gun. He cleaned everything he could as he made some small talk with you, which was fine up until he said, "How was your little brothers game yesterday?" You looked up at him confused, "Good, uh, how do you know about that?" He looked over at you, "You didn't tell me about that?" "No, I didn't," He then turned around and focused back on his tools, "Then never mind."

Yan!Tattooist who gets started almost immediately, getting a small string with white lipstick on it to carefully map out your cupids bow, then going in with red lip liner so he could easily see where he was going to be tattooing. Using a white lip liner around the edges of your lips for more contrast. All the while he keeps his eyes on your lips, gently holding your chin between two of his fingers as he closely focused.

Yan!Tattooist who then got his tattoo gun, the needle was honestly quite small, you could barely see it. He walked around you to lay you chair back so you were facing the ceiling before sitting next to you, gently holding your face in his hands to have your head laying flat against the chair behind you before whispering, "Try not to move your head for me, alright doll?" Your eyes went wide and you almost nodded, before catching yourself, "Okay," you weakly spoke. He nodded with a small laugh before he got to work.

Yan!Tattooist who continues on, slightly making a hissing sound when he sees some blood run down your face from your lips, he wipes it off with his thumb and nonchalantly licks it off his glove. Your wide eyes continue to get wider, did he just...

Yan!Tattooist who finishes up after a few minutes wiping the excess ink off gently with a cleaning cloth before saying, "Okay I want you to be careful of your lip area, alright? No spicy foods for the next two days, and be careful of some facial cleaning products, like with vitamin C and vitamin D," You nodded along. He moved around the chair again to move it back up so you were sitting.

Yan!Tattooist who hums at the sight of your lips, somewhat swelled from his work with a small little bloody cut on it. Your lips were red from the ink, though they wouldn't be that red for long. He leaned forward and pressed a deep kiss onto your lips, you almost yelled right there, you pushed him back. "What, did you not like that?" he asked, tilting his head, "Well, first of all, my lips hurt like hell," You started, "And second, I have a boyfriend!" You said angrily.

Yan!Tattooist who laughed that one laugh of his, the one that always put a blush to your face, "Seeing on how you and your body reacts to me, honey, that 'boyfriend' of yours might as well be an exe," He said with a pointed smile, looking down at you as he leaned on his table of tools.

Yan!Tattooist who quietly watches as you look down and hesitate a bit before you stand up and storm off, he stayed still, letting you do as you pleased, as you had paid beforehand anyways. He knew where you lived from his little search last night, and he would definitely be visiting you tonight no matter if you know he was there or not.

[hidefdoritos]

Today's Mending

I'd really hoped to be well enough to sit up at my sewing machine today and knock through a pile of mends that are waiting on the machine. No such luck; my temp went back up today. Two steps forward, one step back.

"I will no longer berate myself for resting," I said as I laid in bed for three hours after waking up. "I will no longer berate myself for resting," I chanted as I sewed while bending in strange positions on the floor. "I will no longer berate myself for resting," I promise myself, taking cough syrup and ibuprofen and lying down again.

So here's what's been done today. I enjoyed it. I don't need to punish myself for doing less than yesterday. Anything I get to take a needle to is a blessing and a joy.

First up is my brother's suitcoat. Yep, the brother with the 30" waist and the 40" hip. He asked me to take it in. I've never messed with tailoring coats, but I gave it a shot today. I basted the center back seam in sort of a diamond shape. So far I don't like it and it makes weird bubbles.

I watched a tutorial that takes the jacket in at both side seams primarily. I'll have Joe try it on first, once I'm well enough to be around people, and then see what I can do to the jacket.

I found two random little cuts in the hem of this hoodie. Can't imagine what did that, but there they were. I mended a tiny cut in this same hoodie's sleeve yesterday with blue thread, so I carried on with the blue mends.

So, I got some blue fabric from a free bin! The tag shows 4.67 yards for $4.67 and a purchase date in 2003. I also found two GORGEOUS pillowcase tops in that same bin. The yellow isn't usually my color, but since they're handmade, I just had to take them.

I like to think that these came from the same sewist. Maybe they never put the fabrics together--the yardage seems more fitting for a dress--but I hope they'd be happy to see their hard work being used. They're going to become my primary pillowcases.

Today I just cut out the backs. Some other day I'll sew all the seams.

I was out thrifting, on my way to the register, and this miniskirt jumped off the rack, bit me, and asked to become a tote bag. Well, not quite, but that's essentially what happened. I have serviceable sewing and crochet project bags, but I don't have one big enough for a swimsuit, towel, sunscreen, and change of clothes. This will be it!

I've thought of every way to add a bottom to the bag, and eventually I settled on sewing it shut. I have scads of heavy-duty cream-colored blue-striped canvas (from the same free bin! I'm saving it to make a corset), so I'm making the straps out of that. Today I just cut and pinned them. I'm finally coming around to the trend of stripes with flowers, I guess.

I cut out a couple more patches for these awesome summer shorts. Then I remembered that I'm sick and exhausted. And that somebody else has my iron right now. So, they can wait.

[jacksdinonuggets]

~Lost and Found Chapter 3

The morning after.

Notes: I just want to say thank you all for being so supportive and sending me asks. I love seeing a notification in my inbox. you guys are so f*cking awesome

Getting Vaggie back to sleep was pretty easy. The only problem was that she was now stuck. Since she couldn’t get back to her bedroom, she pulled out her phone. After ordering a couple of adult pacifiers, bed rails, and a few baby items to be delivered later that day, she shut off her phone and laid her head back. She grew so close to this girl within the first day of knowing her. It was strange but she didn’t look further into it. However, she couldn’t stop thinking about how scared Vaggie seemed to be of Adam or getting in trouble. She started to think that maybe she was forced into killing souls with threat of punishment if they didn’t do so. It scared her just to think about. Now that she realized it, she remembered seeing a few bruises on her body. 

Before long, the sun came up and shined through the windows, waking Vaggie up. She stirred and yawned a bit before stretching.

“Hey, did you sleep well?” Carmilla asked.

“Mhm, no bad dweams.” She answered, tiredly.

“Good,” Carmilla pet her head, “Your bandages need to be changed,” She pointed out. Now being able to get out of the bed, she walked over to the bathroom and came back with clean bandages. She set Vaggie in her lap to begin with her back.

“Can you tell me a bit about your life in heaven? You don’t have to if it’ll make you feel bad,” Carmilla asked as she began to unravel the bandages on Vaggie’s back

“Mk… was bad. I didn’t wike it. ‘Dam was mean. He hit me whenever I fall behind…” Vaggie could feel herself starting to age back up. She so badly wanted to stay small, but thinking about this made her start to feel big.

“Dun wanna talk about it ‘nymore,” she said, trying to keep small. If she aged up, there was a big chance she could experience regression block and she didn’t want that.

“I’m sorry, bebe, you’re safe here. All I want is for you to recover,” Carmilla assured her as she finished up her back. Once she was done there, she moved onto her eye. Luckily the pain meds were still working. When she finished with those bandages, she gave Vaggie a kiss on her forehead, trying to make her feel better.

“m sorry…” Vaggie mumbled.

“What for, sweetie?” Carmilla asked. At this point, this girl was now her daughter. 

“I bad. Was mean to your people…” Vaggie curled her knees to her chest.

“Its okay, you realized it was wrong, didn’t you?” She clarified. If the girl could realized she was in the wrong, then that meant she truly was sorry.

“Mhm. spared a few lives…” The small girl answered. She had spared a few kids in the past but would only get a harsh slap to the face whenever she would. she guessed Lute and Adam had enough of her when she saved that cannibal kid.

“And you apologized. I think that deserves at least a little bit of forgiveness,” Carmilla said. This made Vaggie feel a bit better. Unfortunately, her guilt passed over into her little thoughts, but the kind words of Carmilla helped them fade.

Suddenly, a loud growl erupted. Vaggie blushed. She hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning. Even then, she barely touched her food. She was too nervous to really eat.

“Is little one hungry?” Carmilla asked. She nodded slightly. So, the overlord got out of bed and made her way to the door.

“I’ll be back in just a little bit. Please, stay in bed, you’re not in the best shape to be up and about, bebe,” She said before getting an ‘okay’ nod from Vaggie. She needed to make breakfast but was a little worried that Vaggie would try to get up if she was gone. Though, she told herself that she was a good listener and would hopefully obey.

As Vaggie waited, she couldn’t help but become more and more anxious as time went on and no show from Carmilla. Did she abandon her? It made sense, Vaggie did kill tons of her people. She would abandon herself too. More and more anxious thoughts went on. She felt the walls start closing in around her. Her chest felt constricted and it was difficult to breathe.

She threw the covers off and swung her legs over the bed. As she tried to stand, the pain in her back flared up and she collapsed back into bed. She whimpered and hid her face in her knees.

She heard the door open and saw Carmilla standing there with a bowl of porridge and her bottle with a bit of juice in it.

“Mami!” Vaggie, with tears running down her face, made grabby hands for her caregiver. She was breathing heavily, as if she just ran a race.

Carmilla immediately put the bowl and bottle on the nightstand and pulled Vaggie in her arms and bounced her on her hip.

“I thought you w’eft me!” Vaggie cried, hiccuping while tears and snot ran down her cheeks and lip. Carmilla grabbed a tissue and cleaned up her face. She rubbed her back, trying to calm her down.

“Shh, its okay, I’m not leaving you, I just needed to make you some num-nums,” She explained. This helped a little bit but she was still hiccuping a lot and close to hyperventilating. 

After being bounced a bit, she calmed down and was set back down in her bed. Carmilla noticed her diaper was a bit saggy, indicating that it recently was wet. So she decided she would change her after feeding her.

Feeding her was pretty easy, no tantrums or meltdowns at all. However, when it came to changing her, the girl was obviously pretty uncomfortable. Even though she put down many pillows to support her back while she laid on the ground, that didn’t stop her from crying out. Carmilla kept apologizing the whole time. Luckily she was quick to chill out after she was set back in bed.

The girl took lots of naps for the rest of the day. Whenever she wasn’t Carmilla was doing her best to try to entertain her without Vaggie straining herself. All of her little gear came a little bit after lunch, which helped keep her busy when she wasn’t sleeping. Though Carmilla practically lost voice by the end of the day due to how many books she read. The girl was a little bookworm and loved the stories.

Vaggie was still feeling small about a week later when she was starting to walk again. She was crawl a lot but at least she wasn’t bound to her bed. Carmilla and her daughters helped her out a lot during this stage of recovery.

 Multiple times she would age back up for a couple of minutes and be extremely embarrassed. Though, Carmilla would explain that she was an absolute angel to take care of and didn’t mind her little side. She told her that she could stay little as long as she needed to. And so, Vaggie did. Whenever she felt small, she allowed herself to regress. She was feeling the best she’s ever felt mentally. 

Since angels tended to heal fast, she was able to walk fine in no time and no longer needed a bandage over her eye. Clara had made her an eyepatch because she was a bit self-conscious of her scarred eye socket. She really appreciated it.

Over the couple of days, Vaggie had become a carmine and learned many lessons about hell. But most importantly, she finally felt accepted.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance Chapter 4

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: “This must be the ‘fucking scary’ side that I heard about.”

I awoke to my neighbor’s alarm going off, again. I didn’t want my Tuesday to start like this. I was annoyed, but it really wasn’t even that loud. A normal person would probably sleep through it. I laid there attempting to go back to sleep. It went off again twenty minutes later. Seriously, what is the point of hitting the snooze button? Just get up already and be done with it. 

I rolled over and grabbed my phone to do a quick email check. I had an email from Aubry saying she hoped my trip was going well. Nothing else. She was phishing for information. I hit reply and typed out, “It’s fantastic.” then hit send. She was going to love that. I was giving her nothing.

I sat there for a moment wondering if Dieter had social media. This is a slippery slope, I thought. Then I opened Instagram anyway and found him. It was a verified public account, so I’m not sure what I expected to find. There was a lot of promotional stuff for his movies and shows. Some pictures from his travels. Typical celebrity stuff most likely. The latest post was an advertisement for a talk show that was happening this morning. I went to the search bar and entered his name in. Tons of images came up. Pictures of him out with friends. Paparazzi images of him walking around LA. I actually felt kind of bad for the guy. He couldn’t even walk down the street without someone shoving a camera in his face. 

The alarm next door went off again ten minutes later. I huffed and threw my phone down on the bed. I decided to get up and start my day. My morning started the same as yesterday’s, minus the encounter with Dieter. Joe was waiting for me with coffee and a blueberry scone at 7AM. Megan met me outside the building when I arrived. She shared a funny story about her dog on the way up to the office. I felt like she was slowly warming up to me. 

I spent the entire day doing observations and meeting with different staff members to ask questions. My lunch break was quick. I scarfed down the chicken alfredo that Megan had ordered, then immediately got back to work. I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of information that was coming in. I was starting to worry that maybe I wouldn’t be able to get through everything before the end of the week and I still hadn’t come across any obvious red flags. I was concerned that I had missed something. That familiar feeling of anxiety was really starting to kick in by the end of the day. I, of course, did not let it show. I was also feeling pretty exhausted. I thought about taking it easy on the workload this evening at the hotel. Maybe even try to go to bed a little earlier.  

When 5 PM hit, I was ready to get out of there. I was peopled out for the day. Talking to people could be so mentally and physically exhausting for me since I tend to be more introverted. These were always my worst days. I would much rather be locked in a room reviewing data.  

I walked out to meet Joe. He greeted me with a smile and again asked if I needed to make any stops before the hotel. I declined and slumped down into the seat. He didn’t try for any chit chat today. I think he could tell I was worn out. He just let me be. We pulled up in front of the hotel and he opened the door to let me out. He told me to have a good evening and he would be here at his usual time in the morning. I nodded my thanks and gave him a small smile. 

I slowly walked into the hotel entrance debating on if I wanted to post up downstairs again while I had dinner or go back to my room and just eat junk food. I stopped in front of the restaurant and looked in. Not a soul in sight, except for Tim the bartender. He saw me, pulled out a wine glass, and started pouring whatever it was he gave me yesterday. I walked in and smiled thanking him as I took it to my back corner booth. He followed behind me. 

“Tough day?” he asked. 

“Not tough. Just long and I still have more to do.”

“Are we having a steady flow of wine and appetizers tonight?” he asked with a sympathetic look on his face.  

“Why not.” I said as I shrugged. He laughed and walked back to put in my order. 

I started pulling out all of my stuff and got to work reviewing more documents. It was an hour and a half later and a glass and a half of wine in when a voice asking to join me snapped me out of my intense focus. It was Dieter. I knew it as soon as I heard his voice. I looked up and he gave me that big, brilliant smile that made me want to melt. I smiled back, “Of course, have a seat!” 

“I hope I’m not distracting you from your work. I can go somewhere else if I need to.”

“No! Not at all. Actually, I think I could use a distraction right now. I need a break. I told myself I was going to take it easy tonight, yet here I am.” I gestured to my stuff spread out on the table and gave an exasperated laugh. 

“Well, if you insist on a distraction…” he chuckled as he sat down in the curved booth, rather closely on my right side. I could feel the heat from his body due to his proximity. It was a miracle that I could focus on anything else. 

“So, how’s it going? Have you uncovered the big secret yet?” he asked with what seemed like genuine interest. 

I sighed heavily, “No, not at all. I have suspicions, but nothing to back it up so far. I’m hopeful I’ll find something tomorrow when I really start digging into their data and tech stuff. I’m starting to get a little worried there may be nothing. Which, if that’s the case, it is what it is. The CEO doesn’t have any definitive proof of anything going on, he just suspects. I didn’t want details on the who or why yet. I don’t want any potential bias to affect what I am doing.”

“I am sure you’ll figure it out. You seem pretty intelligent.” he said as he gently bumped his shoulder against mine. I felt hot suddenly.

“Wha…what about you? Have you heard back about the audition or whatever it was you were anxious about?” I stuttered out. 

“I haven’t. I think I should probably hear something tomorrow. I know they’ve inquired about my filming schedule, so that could be a good sign.” 

“That’s awesome. Hopefully you’ll have something to celebrate tomorrow.”

Bartender Tim came over to take Dieter’s order. He ordered a beer and asked what I was having. 

“I am partaking in endless appetizers and wine tonight. Feel free to have some of whatever I get surprised with next.” Dieter knitted his eyebrows together and started laughing at me. He looked back at bartender Tim and said, “Yeah, bring extra of whatever you're bringing her. We can split it. I’m down for a little appetizer roulette.” Bartender Tim sniggered at us and walked off. 

“Bartender Tim and I have become BFFs already. He’s making sure I’m taken care of.” I said as I raised my wine glass as if to give a toast, then finished it off. 

“How much of that have you had?” Dieter asked. 

“Why? Do I sound drunk already? This is just my second glass. Trust me, I can tolerate more.” He chuckled. 

“I don’t know about drunk, but you’re definitely amusing yourself. How long were you down here yesterday? I saw you as I was leaving.”

“A while..and you didn’t say hi? I feel insulted.” I said jokingly and lightly pushed on his shoulder. For fuck’s sake, I was flirting. I should stop drinking. It’s going to get me in trouble. 

Bartender Tim came back with Dieter’s beer, cheese sticks and jalapeno poppers, more wine, and a glass of water for me. I didn’t even ask for the water. I think he was just doing me a solid before I got sloppy. 

Dieter continued our conversation, “I actually wanted to pop in and say hi, but I was running late. As usual. A fucking disaster as you say. There just isn’t enough time in the day sometimes.”

My phone buzzed. Lauren always had impeccable timing. I tried to ignore it, but it kept buzzing. I looked at him and said sorry as I picked up my phone.

LAUREN: What are you doing? 

LAUREN: I haven’t heard from you much. You need to take a break and call me.

LAUREN: I’m bored. 

LAUREN: What do you want to do for our girl’s day when you get back? Maybe a spa day? 

LAUREN: You DO need to learn how to relax occasionally. 

I rolled my eyes at her. She always did this when she was bored. Normally I found it to be hilarious, but I didn’t have time for that right now. I hit reply. 

ME: I can’t talk right now. 

LAUREN: Why? Are you being held hostage? 

LAUREN: If it’s because of work, then yes you can. Take a break already.

ME: I’m busy. 

LAUREN: Are you ok? These are weird responses for you. 

LAUREN: Waaaaaaaait. Are you with the hottie? 

LAUREN: You better tell me if you are. You know you can’t lie to me. 

Dieter was giving me the side eye. 

“I’m sorry. It’s my best friend. She is being needy and ridiculous right now.” He gave me a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “That’s fine. No biggie.” I started typing out a response. 

ME: Ok, yes. I am. We will talk later. 

LAUREN: Hell yes! Get it GUUURL!

ME: Stop it. Bye. 

I set my phone back down on the table. “Everything ok?” he asked. 

“Yeah, she’s just bored. She gives me hell for working too much. She tends to be a bundle of energy, so she starts about five different conversations before I can get the first response in.” He laughed at my description of her. 

“I can’t fuss about her too much. She’s been amazing the last few months. Helping me with things and all the drama I’ve been dealing with.” I said without thinking. Hopefully he didn’t ask me to elaborate.  

“Drama?” he asked. I gave him a contemplative look. Ok, I guess we are going there, I thought. Without thinking, I put my right hand up to my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  

“I’ve been going through a divorce. He was an asshole and a cheater. I put up with it way longer than I should have. He really messed me up, but it’s done now. Hopefully I’ll never see him again.” I looked down at my glass of wine, expressionless and unblinking. Dieter reached over and grabbed my right hand away from my shoulder, breaking my thoughts. He sat it on the table and gave it a squeeze. I looked up at him and our eyes locked. I could feel my heart almost beating out of my chest. 

“No one deserves to be treated like that. Karma is a bitch. It’ll bite him back one day. He’ll never be happy and live a miserable existence.” 

He said it with conviction. At that moment, I felt like he was looking into my soul with his dark eyes. I could see the sadness hidden there again. It made me wonder if someone had hurt him in the past. He slowly let go of my hand.   

I let out a measured breath, “I certainly hope so. Who knows, maybe one day karma may come in the form of slashed tires and sugar in the gas tank of his fancy car,” I said casually. I was attempting humor to lighten the mood. He took the bait and started laughing at me. 

“This must be the ‘fucking scary’ side that I heard about,” he said through his laughs. 

“Welcome to the show, I’ll be here all week.”

Thankfully that did lighten the mood. We spent two and a half hours chatting, eating, and drinking. The conversation and laughter never stopped. His fun and boisterous side was more evident now than our previous encounters. He had a hilarious sense of humor and even a touch of dark humor that I could appreciate. The small touches continued. He would lean into me and lay his forehead on my shoulder when he laughed. I had seen pictures of him with his friends appearing to do the same thing, so I couldn’t tell if this is just the way he was with people or if he was being flirty. He was very hard to read. I did, however, feel very at ease with him. My anxiety was non-existent once we got past the initial awkwardness. He seemed to be more at ease as well. 

Around 10 PM we decided to call it a night since we both had an early start. I slowly stood up and started packing all my stuff that had been scooted to the other side of the table as he handed it over to me. I was still slightly tipsy.  

“So…” he started to say, then gave a long pause. I stopped what I was doing and looked down at him. “Is it possible that I might run into you down here tomorrow evening? I should be done kind of early.” He looked down at the nearly empty glass in front of him and started lightly tapping on the table with his index finger. He was clearly nervous to ask. He kept his head lowered but looked up at me through his lashes while he bit his lip. Was he trying to give me a heart attack? My mind momentarily wandered to me biting that lip. I shook my head. What the hell was my problem? I suddenly felt embarrassed, like he could read my thoughts. I finally pulled it together enough to respond.

“It’s a very good possibility. We do have to celebrate tomorrow after all.” 

He gave me a questioning look. 

“We’ll be celebrating you getting that role. I have a good feeling about it.”

He gave me a huge smile and said, “Please don’t jinx it” as he got up out of the booth. 

We walked over to the elevator and got on. 

“Which floor?” he asked as he hit the number “9”. I froze and looked at him, slightly confused. 

“What?”

“Are you on the 9th floor?”

“Yeah, why?”

The doors slid shut and I started laughing hysterically. Immediately thinking of Lauren talking about all the destiny garbage. This was getting comical. 

“What’s so funny?” he said with a very confused look on his face. 

“Nothing. It’s just that we’re on the same floor.” He kind of laughed too. The door slid open, and we both stepped off of the elevator. We stopped, awkwardly standing in the middle of the hallway. I had a gut feeling, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle the answer, but I asked anyway. 

“Which room is yours?”

“The second to the end on the left side.” 

I absolutely lost it and doubled over in laughter. “You’re the snooze guy!” I said through my laughter. He stared at me wide eyed and confused. 

I finally got it together and had to wipe tears from my eyes. It was absolutely absurd at this point. 

“Just so you know, I’ve been internally cursing you every morning because I can hear your alarm every time it goes off.”

“You can hear that?” he said in disbelief. 

“Yes, I can. I’m pretty sure our beds share a wall.”

He looked slightly embarrassed for a minute, but then started laughing too. We began walking toward our doors, both still laughing and shaking our heads. We said our goodnights and keyed into our respective suites. Our eyes lingered on each other as we walked through the doors. 

I walked into my suite and shut the door in utter disbelief. There is no way this is actually happening. I threw my stuff down on the couch in the sitting area and dug my phone out of my bag to text Lauren.

ME: You’re never going to believe this. 

LAUREN: Well, hello to you too, jerk. I’ve been waiting to hear from you.

My phone started ringing. She wasted no time calling me. I answered, acutely aware that he was right next door. I was paranoid he could hear me. I stayed on the opposite end of the suite, pacing and talking in a hushed voice. 

“Well? What’s the big news? Did you finally get laid?” Lauren said sarcastically.  

“What?! No. Shut up. I am dying right now. His room literally shares a wall with mine. He’s next door. It’s his alarm that's been waking me up the last two mornings.” 

She was quiet for what seemed like forever. Then there was a burst of laughter. 

“You absolutely cannot make this stuff up,” she said through her maniacal guffaws. 

“So, are you going to tell me what you’ve been doing all this time? I need details.”

“Not many details to be had. We’ve been downstairs at the restaurant talking. We realized our rooms were next to each other after we called it a night. We both laughed about it.” 

“That’s all I get? Really?”

“Yes.”

“You. Suck.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want to read into anything that’s not there. I know if I tell you, we’ll both be doing that. Honestly, I think he’s lonely and just wants someone to hang out with who isn’t fawning over who he is.”  

“Wait, so does he know that you know who he is?”

“No. I haven’t said anything.” 

“Don’t you think maybe you should?”

“Yeah, maybe. I don’t want him to think I was looking him up though.”

“Good point. Maybe it’ll come up naturally next time you see him. Assuming you do.” 

I was quiet. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her we had already discussed dinner tomorrow. 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Oh my gosh, fine. He’s going to be done early tomorrow, so we’re going to meet for dinner again.”

“Oh. Yeah. There is totally nothing to this,” she said sarcastically.

“That’s it. I’ve got to go. I’m tired. Bye. Goodnight.” 

“Let me know how tomorrow goes!” I heard her yelling as I hung up.  

I got ready for bed. After laying there in the dark for what seemed like forever, I reached for my phone and searched his name again. There were so many pictures and videos of him out with his friends. There were also a lot of him with people he worked with and at events. Nothing recent romantically linking him to any girls though. I skimmed comments on the pictures. On several, there were people arguing about his relationship status and preferences. Poor guy, no wonder he wasn’t dating anyone. The general public and paparazzi were all up in his business.  I heard the faint sound of a TV click on, next door. It seems Dieter was having trouble sleeping too. It was nearing midnight, and I was still wide awake. Knowing that he was just on the other side of the wall was kind of driving me crazy. I could feel the magnetic pull, drawing me to him. I decided I was going to get up and take some melatonin in hopes that would knock me out. About 30 minutes later, I finally drifted off into another restless sleep. 

A/N: Things really start heating up between our dear Dieter and Talia in the next chapter. I promise, it’s coming soon. 😉

Next Chapter

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Bedrooms and Hallways(1998)-Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #?

Bedrooms and Hallways

Here we are!

Once again, consuming media I would have otherwise never watched for one guy. As always thoughts at the end.

Warnings: I can't find any official ones but- any genitals are covered by a blanket, knee, or just blurred in the background. Referenced masturbation. Post-coital/foreplay activities. Fighting. Two men making out, generally just friends encouraging their friend to get laid. Don't watch in front of the family. 90s-era comedy, biphobia might be an issue, but that might just depend on the viewer.

Life Update: Just turned 21 yesterday, didn't do anything fun (I've never drank and don't really want to), but rewatched OFMD yesterday for the first time in months with the brother. I just had a good day. This movie has a guy leaving his 'fun' twenties to live his more serious adult life. Accidentally fitting :)

As always I'd love to thank everyone who reads this. The usual suspects, those who've given me notes, and the blogs I love to see who have posted about this movie<3 Y'all make my year just that bit brighter. If you haven't seen this movie, I've also got Con photos here from the movie. So there's that. :)

@mossiestpiglet @thedowneyheart @harryduboisfathog @downinthehull @dianetastesmetal @ivegotnonameidea @gydima @treesofgreen @jaysfandomcorner @joestrummen

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30? Lovely. Celebrate a bit!

"THE BOYS COME BACK" Yey! 

Oh I love this. CON!!! 

Give that man a surprise party, he's literally asking for one. 

God, Love that our protagonist has a support system. 

God where the fuck are they at, this is a giant apartment. 

I know a few recognizable faces are in this, but I will need to IMDB everyone 

Protagonist being awkward around everyone at his own suprise party is very sweet.

Yeah, they threw a party just to throw a party, but still. Try to have fun.  

Well, I'd love to see more of Con's guy. 

Bro's working on coming out a bit? Good for him. 

IS THAT HUGO WEAVING? ELROND? V? What the fuck??!?! Oh, I'm in for a good time.

Hell yeah, a suit kink is standard. OH HE FUCKS PEOPLE IN HOUSES THAT ARN'T SOLD YET?!?!? That feels illegal in a way. 

Okay, if your going to do something like this, check the upstairs before you fuck.

I'm into the editing, fun and snappy. 

Ha! The way Leo(protagonist) gossips to everyone. 

(talking to coworker)Bro, just communicate in a relationship, seriously. Why do straight men in media just assume relationships are getting complemented every once in a while.

I need straight friends like this. 

I'm concerned with the phrase men's group. 

I've gotten a few chuckles out already. 

I think they're a fun older straight couple. (Men's group.)

Oh, was the first few minutes a jump forward? Lovely. 

CON! TERRY!

God, I want his wardrobe. 

"You sat in a room with straight men and talked about your feelings?" True, I'd be surprised as well. 

Your friend is more Fem presenting and has probably been harassed most of his life. He's found a nice inner circle, don't bash him.

Does this man with a rough voice that washes over you happen to be named Terry? It's not, but what if. 

(Realtor showing a house) Babe, it's housing, it's never really positive. 

"Don't stop now I was just getting moist!" Haaahhaa

(Cut to the men's group) THE HONESTY STONE! I NEED TO DO THIS IN A FIC.

What the fuck is going on here?

"Support his head in a loving way"? 

(guy clearly lying on the ground pretending to be having an exorcism)Me too guy, this is a lot.

I….I want to be in the lady's room. I know why this character is doing this. If he makes a big show of it, he doesn't need to actually genuinely open up.

CON COVERING HIS MOUTH SO HE DOESNT LAUGH

Love that they sat for hours letting this guy go off. 

Leo's turn. "I find a member of the group attractive." (That member being Brenden) WOAH. Babe, bold. This just feels like an easy way to get beat up.

Terry, I have questions. Mainly, how are you swinging babe? I love that he's supportive of Leo coming out almost immediately, if hesitant. 

"He's alright." TERRY YOU BITCH

Call me a prude, I don't think I'd fuck in a pool. 

I love that we see how much these houses cost. 

I also love how supportive his friend is here with this crush. 

I swear if someone dies I'm going to lose my shit. 

SAUNA

OH GOOD LORD! Gender? Envy.

(Then we move on into the women's club's room for a usual meeting. The men all wearing white robes. Terry opens the scene by saying he has a big announcement.)

HELL YEAH TERRY!

IS HE ALSO QUEER?

THE HARPOON?

(Terry, hesitantly, admitting that he jacked off to a magazine filled with men) HELL YEAH TERRY!

GOOD FOR YOU TERRY! (IM ASSUMING) BISEXUAL ICON!

FUCKING YEAH! GOOD ON YOU MAN. 

As someone who also found out about themselves after someone close came out to them. Awww. It's just very sweet. 

God I love terry talking to the women's group leader "cause we've made a mess of it, us men, haven't we." ICON

The drama. Oh, Brenden is a closet case. And Terry, THE GUY WHO JUST HAD THE BALLS TO COME OUT is hitting on HIS man. 

Imagine making a men's support group that turns into a dating agency

Don't be mean to Terry, Brenden. Terry is mean enough to himself. Have you looked at him?

OHHH GET IT TERRY! MAKE BRENDEN JEALOUS! 

HAHAHAHAH HE READ JANE AUSTEN! Rude, but yeah, that shit can be a slog to read.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST…wait…oh my god. Darren fucking Mr. Collins. That's how I recognize him! OH MY GOD. That was years after this!!!! WTF!?!?!?

OH MY LORD SHORT SHORTS TERRY YOU FIEND. I see the fifth-dimensional chess going on here.

You won't be hunting shit. It's a public forest in England. Order takeout.

How the fuck did they actually catch a rabbit.

Oh, Terry you pathetic little guy. Trapped in a bush.

Terry. 0. Bush 1. Awww he had to change outfits :(.

Yeah, there you go babes. Order food like men. 

Don't dance that close to the fire, also, taking his shirt off is a good move. 10/10.

Brenden, why are you like this. Crawling into his tent, I see you. 

Seriously? Terry walks into camp and thinks he sees the shadows of the two of them(Leo and Brenden) fucking? Just like Ed&Stede with the sword incident. Making Terry jealous and defensive? Great. Love it. 

God Terry's outfits are all looks, sassy bitch, I love it 

Ohh shit. Terry's jealous. 

OHH SHIT! GET HIM TERRY! GET HIS ASS.

(In the car, driving home) AWWWW Terry says he's not ready for hugs yet but in the opening, we saw him hug Leo. :) That's so fucking GOOD. AHH

Oh, we've all had that straight crush we wished was gay. 

So did they actually fuck? Or... 

Terry's fucking side-eye. He's probably happy he gets to flip the script a bit here on Leo with the whole sexuality exploration. 

This isn't going to go well for Leo. 

Obviously respect where people are at, don't force gay people to prove that they aren't just faking it but still. Weird. 

(The roommate trying to 'test' if he likes women) HAHAHHAHAA I love them. This is weird but he doesn't seem too uncomfortable with it. 

(Skipped a few scenes, but Leo and Brenden definately fuck)

Awww Leo's chasing after him to make sure you get his number is cute. AWWWW. 

They're flirting is so fun. Love banter=flirting

Oh does she think she's cheating on him with another woman?

OH HE'S TOTALLY CHEATING THAT'S FUCKED UP. 

Oh God, they know each other. Brenden is dead. Murdered. 

The way that Darren ran over to hear the gossip! HOLY SHIT!

OH SHIT, THE WAY HE'S TRYING TO COVER FOR HIM, DAMN

Okay, he's not cheating, he's actually broken up here. Good. 

No, that's totally a relationship on pause. Good on him for trying to clarify where Brenden is at before pushing it further.

Good on the married couple that runs the groups. "I love being a woman, not because of you, because of me."

Terry do you want to fuck Brennan. That's definitely a look you're giving him. 

Awww! Baby Queers unite!  "Does it hurt?" "You get used to it after a while..." Terry squeezes the pillow tighter "Excellent." Ahh! Love it. 

"*Gong* I've Got something but it's not homosexual so I don't know If you'll be interested" hmm….we'll see John. You're on a tight rope.

I love this therapist guy. Damn. If John's going to be like that, he can just leave.

Leo. Babe, bisexual. The word we're looking for is Bisexual. 

"You are a strawberry blonde. You can't go out with an ash blonde." Me looking at my blond x brunette ship list.

Handcuffs= they're going to get caught. 

(Darren gets caught getting fucked in the girlfriends house, then needs to tell Leo, cause YEAH) "If I'd done something really, really, really, bad…"Ahahahahha Callback

God, I hope everyone pairs up with someone. Especially Terry-

"Why am I always the one waiting for everyone to sort themselves out?" Me too babe

CONFRONT HIM AT WORK. GREAT IDEA. 

THROUPLE, I vote throuple. 2 people have issues communicating, but it could work. 

SHE KNEW, AND DOESN'T WANT HIM BACK. GOOD ON HER

Darren, please put down the knife. You are going to hurt yourself. 

Cut to the party back at the beginning. 

OH GOOD FUCKING GOD. Go hang out with your friends, babe. 

Terry stay away from Brenden. He's has a bad vibe. Also, Glowup! The white coat, the shirt! God. I want his gender.  

Three is a throuple and 2 members here are too irresponsible to manage it. 

Good on her for setting boundaries though. 

The whole kissing friends thing is so weird. 

HA! THE WHOLE WOMENS GROUP IS ALSO SHADES OF QUEER! AHHHH! The older straight couple just loves the gossip. 

Oh, Elrond wants to fuck. Well, at least you tried mate. Good on Darren for trying to stand up for himself, the guy wants a bit of romance. 

OHHHH SHIT! TERRY'S CHEWING HIM OUT!!!!

GET HIM TERRY! CHEW BRENDEN OUT! YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE THIS FIGHT! BUT I WANT IT! 

Oh they absolutely need to fuck, the sheer hatred emanating off of them alone. LOOK AT IT

The two Blondes unaware two idiots about to fight in the backyard. 

God, i actually like/care for all of these couples, it's sweet

1 PUNCH IS ALL IT TOOK. The nose is his weak spot. 

ONCE AGAIN HE'S SAD BLOODY AND PATHETIC

OH MY GOD. Brenden is actually using his pickup line on Terry? OH GOD. 

HAHAHA HIS LOOK TO THE HEAVENS AND QUIET 'YES!' Hopefully they can make it work. But with Brenden back to living with her, who knows. 

Well, another year. Everyone paired off. Leo is letting himself find joy where ever he can find it. Both roommates are getting laid. Good, happy, movie. 

Yeah, that 'hope it's just a phase' joke isn't great.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Bisexuality: This film goes into the whole 'are you truly a gay', thing. Overall it ends up with three characters who thought they were one way, realizing they were more fluid than they thought(Leo, Darren, and Terry). Just kind of a fun character exploration film. I'm looking at it in a modern sense. Darren(gay roomate) clings to his identity to find a community whereas Leo feels no need to define it. Both aren't inherently wrong, just different ways of living a life. Personally defining a label wasn't for me, so eh, I get both sides. It was the 90s when this came out and for the time, idk. Sexual fluidity feels revolutionary. I think the point of the movie is, to explore and live your life? I'd love to know how any bisexuals who read this feel about it.

Con: 10/10 God I fucking loved Terry. 

Seeing someone essentially having my same life experience coming out was funny (exploring the idea of being queer after a friend comes out, realizing you have a crush on that friend, but oh shit, crush has already shacked up with a friend in the group). He's such a fucking sweet asshole. Asking for genuine advice, smiling, standing up for a friend. Sure, he wanted to fuck Leo, but he's still someone Leo can trust. I want to rank all of the Con characters based on how alike they are to Izzy. Cause Terry is up there. He's so pathetic, in such a fun way. 

AND GOD HIS OUTFIT CHANGES!

I noticed it in the movie but didn't want to just briefly bring it up to a point, but god it's so good!

The way he naturally relaxes into clothing that just fits his fun personality more. THE SHORTS! After the man comes out, he realizes he wants to fuck Leo, then shows off his legs in shorts! Genius Idea. Beautiful. Then his outfit gets ruined in bushes. GOD. By the end of the movie he settles into a good mix of relaxed and macho. He wears what he's comfortable with and isn't as closed off. It's sweet. 

I am not over Con playing the jealous 3rd in a 2 person relationship. I literally rewatched OFMD yesterday for my birthday. These are very similar people. I love it so much guys. I did this thinking this would help me write Izzy, which it has, but god. I'm just so glad I did to see more queer media.

Everyone else 8/10: Darren grew on me like a leach. His version of Queerness opening up to romance, and legit trying to manage that was sweet. Branden was a 50/50 for me, I had bad vibes with him in the beginning and he never really grew on me. I actually hated Daren's main squeeze, too off putting seeing him here. Loved his other roomie, and the therapist/leader the men's group.  

Story 6-7/10: I liked the ending. This weird year wrapped up and Leo ready to look into his future. With a new, wider, weirder support system filled with more people expressing their Queerness in different ways. I liked it ignoring the 90s comedy beats, weird editing, music. This was just a fun story that ignored the real world for a bit.

Overall: 7-8/10. Personally, I recommend it with caveats. Weird 'we need to separate hetero and homo' stuff, and weird humor definitely from the 90s. I did like 90% of the characters though, and this was a long movie that kept me engaged the whole time. Which is something I can't say about some of Con's other stuff. Again, I'm heavily leaning to one side of the Kinsey scale. I can't imagine how insulting this movie could be if I was more center-leaning. Love to hear yall's thoughts down below <3 I love chatting with yall.

(Also, if I didn't recognize anyone else famous, please yell at me)

(Ranking based on Character/Performance, not on project itself)

I've decided that I will add his mini projects/tv appearances eventually. Pie in the Sky needs to get on there For Sure. Next up, I am actually watching the first half of Real Women, S2 eps1-4.

(Fun aside. I put all of Con's characters into the Hunger games generator, including the characters I hadn't seen yet. Terry came out victorious! Killing off Angel and Mogh personally. This set expectations high, and I'm glad he met them.)

Have an amazing week yall!

[floaroma-sanctuary]

Beau climbed the stairs, feeling a little more reassured today with how well his demonstration went yesterday. He stood in the middle of the stage, smiling out at the crowd.

“Now, let’s say you’re an individual who struggles with narcolepsy. It’s impacting your day to day life, and you’re having trouble being independent. What could you do? Well, one option is a service Pokémon. Please welcome to the stage our first assistant, Lyra the Jigglypuff.” Beau motioned for Lyra to join him, and she hopped up to his side.

Suddenly, Beau dropped. Lyra caught him and gently lowered him to the ground. He grinned at the audience from where he laid on the stage. “Lyra is trained to help people with narcolepsy live full and independent lives. As you can see, she takes care of their physical well being in the case of a narcoleptic episode. Since I’m completely conscious, Lyra isn’t doing anything else besides watching over me right now. Otherwise, she’d be either attempting to wake me up or fetching someone to help in the case of injury.”

Beau stood back up with Lyra’s assistance. He thanked her and asked her back to the stairs. “Let’s change it up. My vision is terrible.”

He slipped his glasses off his face and walked forwards until his feet were on the edge. “I can feel where I am, but I can’t really judge distance or any hazards that may lie ahead of me. While I can still see, our next assistant is trained to help people who can’t.”

With that, he started to step of the edge as a Kirlia came dashing onto the stage, grabbing his hand and pulling him back. The Kirlia guided Beau back to the middle of the stage, finding his glasses and offering them to him.

“Thank you, Halo.” He said, putting his glasses back on. “Halo is a seeing eye Pokémon. He’s trained to help people with vision loss navigate and fetch things they may need. In my case, he found my glasses. He kept me safe from walking off the stage and guided me somewhere safer.”

Beau then asked Halo off the stage as well. He whistled softly and tossed some items around the stage. A Minun and Plusle ran out and up to him.

“Addie, fetch.” Beau ordered, pointing towards a water bottle. The Plusle bounded off, grabbing the bottle and bringing it back to him. He thanked her and pocketed the bottle.

“Addie and Susie are mobility aid and cardiac alert Pokémon.” He explained as Susie started tugging on his pants leg. “Susie right now is telling me my heart rate is too high, so I need to sit down.”

He sat down on the stage, and Susie climbed into his lap as Addie ran off to grab a prescription bottle. The first one she came to was empty, so she left it and ran over to another one. When she found the right one, she returned to Beau with the bottle.

He opened it and popped one in his mouth. “Now, I don’t have heart issues, so I’m simply taking a candy. However, Addie and Susie are working as a team to make sure that I’m safe.”

He dismissed them, sending the pair offstage and standing back up. “My final assistant is Tangerine the Flareon. He is a trained to help those who experience seizures.”

Tangerine trotted up onto the stage to Beau’s side. He sat obediently and waited. Beau slowly walked him around the stage before falling onto the stage and not moving. Tangerine checked Beau first before running to the front of the stage and hopping off, grabbing someone from the crowd and leading them up to the stage. When they got there, Beau sat back up and thanked them for their help and released them back to their seat.

“As you can see, one of Tangerine’s jobs is to fetch help in the case of a seizure. He also is trained to alert when he can tell a seizure is coming. He’ll protect his partner during a seizure and can even use a special phone to call for medical assistance.” He explained, slightly distracted as Tangerine paced the front of the stage seemingly agitated. He recalled Tangerine and fed him a treat as a thank you.

“My point today is not to just show you some cool things these Pokémon are trained to do. Each of these Pokémon have a job to help their partner live a full and independent life. They are not pets or battlers. They are working Pokémon who are indispensable to the people who really need them. If you have any more questions about service Pokémon and their different jobs or have a need for one and would like to adopt any of these wonderful Pokémon, please stop by the Floaroma Sanctuary booth, and I’ll be happy to help. I have been Beau Rosalba, and you have been a wonderful audience. Thank you!” Beau gave a bow and walked Tangerine off the stage with him. He made sure to remove each of the Pokemon’s service vests before taking them back to the booth, making a note to check Tangerine in case something was wrong and give him some time to rest.

[thecandywrites]

Monster March 2023 Day 7- Minotaur- Part 2

The Rut

Thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March 2023 prompt list. As well as @catbatart for their's too. You guys are phenomenal.

Part 2

Pleasant Surprise

But Bauvar got pleasantly surprised when he went to go get coffee the next morning and he recognized your voice when the barista greeted you. 

“Bianca Darling, how are things?” She asked as she didn’t even bother to ask what you wanted and the moment she saw you, immediately started to make it for you. 

“Busy, it’s velvet stripping season.” You answered. 

“Oh you poor thing. How many do you have today?” She asked as she dumped caramel sauce and extra chocolate into the caramel macchiato. 

“18. Most of them moose and caribou too. It’s going to be a very long day.” You answered. 

“How many bouquets of flowers did you get yesterday?” She asked. 

“23. But I got a gift card for this place. So you’ll be seeing me a lot more frequently.” You chuckled. 

“And how many dates did you have to turn down?” She asked. 

“Only six. Thankfully, I could use my ‘I don’t date clients from the spa’ line, always the new clients too because my ol’ reliables already know not to ask.” You admitted. 

“Were any of them even tempting?” She asked as she topped it off with whipped cream and caramel drizzle and Bauvar fought not to shove or sideswipe the guy between the two of you in line to hear your answer.

“Yeah, always a couple, of course the ones that are tempting usually don’t ask.” You admitted with a shrug before she handed the coffee off to you before you used the gift card and grinned to see how much was on it but electronically left a hefty tip to the always hard working baristas. 

“Beaver?” Another barista called out Bauvar’s coffee and his ears laid back as you simply softly snorted a laugh through the mispronunciation of his name. 

“It’s..Bauvar, but whatever.” He grumbled under his breath as he took it. 

“Oh, hey, how are the antlers today?” You asked when you went to walk by him to grab a straw and a few napkins from the counter.

“Much better, you were right, woke up and didn’t feel a thing other than relief. Thank you so much for squeezing me in. I was told you’re pretty popular.” He smiled as his ears perked up. 

“Well when you have the experience I do, it kind of comes with the territory.” You shrugged. 

“Well it shows. You do excellent work.” He praised. 

“Thank you. I try.” You smiled appreciatively before a big bouquet of flowers caught your eye as you smiled to wonder if it would go to any of the baristas. But when your eyes traveled up to see who was holding them,eyes got wider for a moment as your face fell and even tensed before you ducked your head and quickly tried to duck away from the holder of the extra large and extravagant bouquet of flowers before the newest addition to the coffee shop spotted you and made a B-line for you while practically screaming your name across the coffee shop as you wished the ground would open up to swallow you just to get you away from him. 

“Beautiful Bianca! I found you! The salon said you weren’t in yet. I wanted to make sure you got these from me.” He insisted as he came over and thrust the bouquet into your face that had as many gift cards as blooms practically in it. 

“Thanks Rick. You really, shouldn’t have.” You begrudgingly took the flowers from him. 

“But you’re the best stripper in the world, I just wanted to make sure you knew you were appreciated. Did I tell you that I’m going to be opening up a new spa? I would love to have you be my first hire. Really, I’d happily double the rate that you’re making now, plus tips.” He insisted as you grimaced at the word ‘stripper’ and wondered how many people in here now wondered if you were an exotic dancer by the way he just said that as Bauvar frowned deeply to see how you were reacting to Rick. And an unease soon grew in the pit of his stomach and every instinct he had was telling him to shove this guy off because you were clearly, not interested and unreceptive.

“Well if you could get that in writing and drop it off at the salon, I promise I’ll look it over and consider it once I get through the busy season. I’d already booked so far out with them. And I’d hate to cancel on anyone.” You offered as an excuse. 

“But I could even get you a sign on bonus that I’m sure would make up for any lost business from where you are now. How about I take you out to dinner? We could talk about it then, I could pick you up at the salon at 7 or even 8 or 9, depending on how busy you’d be today.” He offered. 

“I’m sorry, but that’s never going to happen. I have a noncompete. Plus, I already have plans.” You tried to excuse, desperately grasping at straws here.

“With what? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you breaking them, especially when it’s such a great opportunity. And non competes are a bunch of bullshit anyway, legal, mumbo-jumbo. And I’m sure there’s plenty of loopholes you can take advantage of. I got a buddy whose a lawyer, I’m sure he’d find at least a lose thread or two to pull at to make that noncompete- obsolete.” He tried to say as Bauvar simply stood there and watched the interaction and even he could sense how uncomfortable and uneasy you were while he, even on a very base business level, was offended at Rick’s attitude to something as serious as a noncompete could be. And it was clear this asshole was not taking any of the hints nd not taking no for an answer. 

“She has plans with me, and yes I do mind.” Bauvar spoke up and had he been looking at you instead of staring down at the deer- minotaur, he might have seen delight and relief brighten your features.  

“And you are?” He asked Bauvar as he stepped up closer and held his gaze challengingly. 

“This is Mr. Bauvar Leopold, he’s my new boyfriend. And we already have dinner plans tonight. Sorry.” You managed to say as you gratefully slipped your freehand into the crook of Bauvar’s elbow while you held the bouquet in the crook of the arm on the other side after you used it to place the bouquet there while the other hand still held your drink. 

“Oh, well surely, you wouldn’t object to her making more money right? It’s a noncompete, do you even know about those things? They’re…” He began to mansplain. 

“Actually, I’m a corporate lawyer. So yes. I do know about noncompetes. And I’m sure the one that Bianca has signed is quite thorough because The Velvet Spa is a medical facility and meticulous in every single detail. And while I personally haven’t read it over and given her my full legal assistance yet, because it has yet to come up in our relationship, if she wants to revisit that, that will be her choice made in her own free will and not something she should ever be coerced into. But for now, she really needs to get back to work. Excuse us.” Bauvar insisted as he gratefully took you out of there. 

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.” You thanked him as you checked to see if Rick was following you. 

“You’re welcome. Did you really sign a noncompete?” He muttered under his breath as he walked you down the street. 

“No. Are you really a lawyer?” You asked. 

“Yes.” He confirmed. 

“Nice. Congrats. But thank you for the save. I just might actually hire you to draw one up just for me then, if it’ll keep that asshole off my tail.” You offered. 

“Does this happen to you alot?” He asked. 

“Yes, well, no. Well. Let me clarify. Have other people tried to head hunt me for other medical spas that specialize in services for taur clients? Yes. I’ve gotten offers from…literally all the major brands and public sector and private sector and across the board. That, I’m used to.” You clarified. 

“However, that particular individual is particularly heinous. Nothing against deer minotaurs in general, but that particular guy, I call him Dick Rick behind his back, he is such an asshole. He screwed his business partners and his ex wife over with his last business and he’s always out to make a quick buck any way he can. And I would guarantee you that whatever spa he’s talking about it- would most likely be completely dependant on all of my clients following me only to use me for a season and then hang me out to dry. He practically creates businesses overnight, only to get as much credit as he can, use them to fleece whatever market he can before he has the business file for bankruptcy. He is as shady and slimy of a scumbag as they come.” You divulged. 

“Yeah, I gathered.” Bauvar nodded in agreement. 

“And at first, it was the personal interest in me. Which I politely refused. But he does not know how to take a ‘no’ as an answer from anyone. I’ve gotten more bouquets of flowers from him than I know what to do with. He’s spent a fortune just in flowers because I think in his head- that’s how a taur woos a human apparently. He’s already done the same thing to other taur specialists, velvet strippers in particular. But his last venture was to have the stripper part be very literal. As if any self respecting professional would give a striptease while they are wielding a surgical scalpel. He has no respect for the profession.” You continued. 

“Ew.” Bauvar scuffed and nearly gagged at the implications. 

“Oh, it gets worse. He’s a cash only client because usually he’ll book up every service in the salon and then his cards won’t have the credit when they run them after the service, no tipping, no referrals, if anything he’s tried to poach more clientele than anything. Every time I see him, I wish I could turn invisible so he doesn’t see me.” You confessed. 

“So, stalker, basically.” Bauvar realized. 

“Yes. Which is why I’m so grateful and thankful that you were able to step in. Back there. He’s one of those assholes that will usually only respect another male’s word or opinion more than a woman’s.” You ventured. 

“That’s disgusting and inexcusable. Would you like for me to look into restraining orders?” Bauvar asked. 

“No, because it’s the rut and hopefully his interest will die, once he goes through it and it abates as his own hormones aren’t sending him into a pursuer frame of mind, like they are right now. Hopefully once he manages to scrape enough money to get into a real whore house to get laid, he’ll ease off.” You hoped which caused Bauvar to snicker a laugh. 

“Hopefully. But if he doesn’t. Don’t hesitate to protect yourself ok? I understand you deal with the public and have to have professional courtesy and all that, but this is not normal. This screams obsessive stalker to me.” Bauvar said as he gestured to the flowers. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. But thank you so much for stepping in and getting me out of there because I hate it when he comes in and causes a scene at the spa and especially when he waits for me by the parking lot. Last year, he completely surrounded my car with bouquets of flowers, and waited in the parking lot, in his car, and practically juiced up while he waited for me to get out of work.” 

“Well, then why didn’t you do something then?” Bauvar asked worriedly. 

“Because the only reason why he singles me out specifically is because he found out I was “the best” that the spa had and he’s been out to get me ever since. And I’d rather it happen to me than to any of the other girls at the spa and salon who don’t have the experience or don’t have the wisdom to see past his bleached antlers. Last year, even when I stripped the velvet off of him, during the appointment, he wouldn’t shut up the whole time about ‘how awesome and amazing it was’. And then after the service, when I’m already elbow deep into my next client’s velvet, he nitpicks and complains all to get a free service. He’s so two faced, I hate that in every guy, it doesn’t matter who or what he is either. And I refuse to work on him, let alone with him. And whenever he’s at the spa, the managers have to practically sit on the session to make sure he doesn’t try anything. He even comes in for extra antler bleaching and antler sharpening, he’s not happy unless his own antlers are ready to gore anyone within charging distance. He’s ridiculous.” You confessed in a low murmur as you clung to Bauvar’s arm. Grateful that he was there at least to save you from Dick Rick this time. 

“Yikes.” Bauvar muttered back as his steps had now fully synchronized with your own. 

“Will he do the same thing now?” Brauvar asked. 

“Who knows.” You sighed tiredly.

“Well, not to be like Mr. Bleached Asshole, but do you have anyone at the spa who can walk you out when you’re done or does the spa have security guards or?” He asked.

“Well, usually this time of year, we usually all wait for each other and walk each other out at night and as a safety and security protocol, there has to always be at least two people there while the business is open. The manager says they’re getting a security guard, but because of the time of year, it’s hard to get good help without them also looking to take advantage of us, cause it’s just that time of year where the rut turns everyone into a hormonal teenager again, especially the other tuar girls and even us non taurs can get caught up in it too.” You admitted. 

“Well I can get off of work anytime. Here’s my card, this is my cellphone, if he’s hanging around, call me, and I’ll come, at the very least, to be big bad lawyer and if need be- stand in boyfriend if he really doesn’t back off.” He offered. 

“You sure your wife or girlfriend won’t mind?” You asked him as you looked at his hand writing on the back of the business card and appreciate different aspects of his handwriting. 

“No. It’s fine.” He reassured you. 

“Thank you so much Bauvar. Hopefully I won’t have to bother you but thanks for offering in the first place. It means a lot. Have a good day at the office. No more bloody suits and expensive dry cleaning bills.” You thanked him gratefully before you went into work which got him to laugh again. 

“Yup. Same there, good luck wading through all the hormones and velvet between obnoxious bouquets.” He offered which got you to throw your head back and laugh as you neared the door. 

“Especially the obnoxious bouquets.” You offered with one last waive and smile over your shoulder before you went into the spa as he simply stood there with a fond smile before he finally remembered he should be heading into work and pulled himself away to go into the law firm that was around the corner so to speak. Wondering how he had never noticed this spa here before. 

“Ladies, aren’t these flowers obnoxious?” You asked the front desk. 

“Yeah.” They laughed. 

“Dick Rick gave them to me. At the coffee shop. He said someone in here told him that’s where I was. So, who told Dick Rick where to find me?” You asked the team of receptionists before everyone looked at each other in alarm before the newest of the receptionists had her ears pinned down while her cheeks flushed before your eyes traveled down the line and found the guilty party as your face deadpanned as she dropped her gaze guiltily as you walked down the desk to stand in front of her to get an explanation.  

“He said he was your fiance and it was a surprise.” She volunteered. 

“Emily, no. That’s not true. I’m not engaged to him. I’m not even dating him. I never have and I never will. He’s an asshole who has been trying to poach both the clientele here and the specialists here too. He turns into a stalker during the rut. For future reference, don’t ever confirm someone works here to people who the others have not told you or introduced you to who their significant others are. And never say what their schedule is or where to find them. It’s dangerous and unprofessional. That’s how we lose good specialists in here because we’ve had more than our fair share of stalkers. And you guys are especially vulnerable because you’re working front desk and are seen the most. So, Emily, who trained you?” You asked her as calmly yet seriously as you could.  

“I did, my mistake Boss. I thought I went over that. I’ll go over it again.” Macy offered. 

“Thank you, the last thing I want is for anyone in here to be victimized, especially by douchebags like Dick Rick.” You urged them before you went to the General Manager’s office to tell her what had happened and how the whole staff would benefit from revisiting safety protocols. And ask where she was on hiring those bodyguards as she pulled their resume’s up and promised she would get them in there ASAP. 

“Boss? I thought Charline is the owner?” Emily balked in horror once you walked back. 

“No. Charline is the public face of the place because Charline and Bianca grew up together. But Charline simply does hoof trimming and polishing. It’s Bianca who bought and modeled the building and hired Charline to be the face of the business because Bianca is human and at first so few people took her seriously other than the people she grew up working on. Suddenly, with Charline saying that Bianca was the best in the business, that’s when the business took off. Bianca owns the place and literally signs our paychecks and it’s her licenses and certifications that are the reason we can charge as much as we can and have to pass medical board and have medical codes for our services. She’s the reason why we’re a medical spa in the first place. But Bianca simply doesn’t like that much limelight. She’s happy to let others assume it’s Charline’s business because she’s a red deer-taur herself. But Bianca is the reason we have the massive clientele we do. And the reason we can make so much and can offer all the services we do.” Macy explained. 

“Oh shit, so am I fired?” Emily asked as tears came to their eyes. 

“No. You might receive a reprimand from H.R. and the front desk manager. But that’s it. Bianca’s not heartless. She would never fire someone for a single mistake.” Macy reassured her before Nancy came up. 

“Emily, Bianca told me what happened. From now on, please don’t give out anyone’s personal information, especially their location. When and if we have another situation  like this. If they are here, simply say they are busy with another client and then, we can always claim that we have two people by that name if the person doesn’t want to see them. Or that they quit and we don’t know where they went and have no way of contacting them. Ok?” Nancy reminded Emily. 

“Ok.” Emily nodded as she wiped the tears from her eyes. 

“Also, these are for the front desk. Bianca said she doesn’t want them but they should be a reminder to everyone here what could happen if we loosen up on our safety procedures and protocols. Also we’re going to be having security guards coming in hopefully tomorrow. But for now, Rick’s profile has been flagged as a safety hazard to personnel. And he’s not allowed to schedule appointments in the future. OK?” Nancy reminded them as she put the flowers, now in a vase up on the counter with some of the others that had been brought in. 

“Yes Ma’am.” They all echoed in understanding before she passed out all the gift cards that had been with it. 

“Don’t get too excited, they only have $5 on them anyway.” Nancy chuckled. 

“Oh, that’s low.” Macy sneered at the gift card. 

“Why get ten gift cards with 5 dollars each on them. Just get one with 50 on it and be done with it?” Ashley asked. 

“Dick Rick is an egocentric narcissist. He’s all flash, no substance.” Macy muttered. 

“So he’s done this before?” Emily asked and watched as they all nodded yes. 

“Oh yeah, but he’s been hung up on Bianca for a couple of seasons now. Usually, when it’s the rut, she’s used to her taur clientele getting crushes on her. And so she doesn’t think anything of it. But even after the rut, he’s still pursuing her because he’s entitled asshole who always wants the best for himself and he knows she’s the best. So that’s who he wants. If we started saying that you’re the best in business, he’d drop his interest in her in a heartbeat and start going after you instead. And he’d use you up like kleenex and then toss you once he used you up, like he’s done with every ex he’s had, who, coincidentally, come in to use the spa themselves.” Macy explained.

“Oh.” Emily blinked but still frowned at the gift card she got. 

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 8.2

It looked amazing.  Set outside the door to their dorm room was a little cart, and the food was laid out on that cart, each dish covered.

I can't tell if this is thanks for giving Bristow to the brownies, or an attempt to bait them into expressing gratitude for a final bit of revenge

“Aaaaaieee,” Verona kept her voice very quiet, picking up a skewer and bringing it close to the bubble.  “Before I pop, call me mister bubble, esquire.”

I mean, I laughed. But maybe Verona shouldn't be involved in trying to convince other students that the Kennet Trio are normal and not dangerous and trustworthy

“What do you think?” Verona asked.  She used her own Sight.  The dishes took on a weird uniformity, all white with red things struggling in them.

I suppose if that doesn't bother her, neither would the potential cannibalism?

“Souls, though,” Verona mused.  They left the cart behind and headed for the front door, against the loose collection of students.  “Do we really need souls?”

...yes?

More students were leaving the school campus than usual. Hadley Hennigar, the Legendres, Xerxes and his little brother, Jarvis’s group, who were waiting and looking impatient while Silas talked to Estrella, off to the side…

all allies of Bristow, the reverse of the beginning of the last arc. And I understand why: even if Ray isn't going after them, there's a chance other students might try to retaliate for things they did in the past days.

“It’s not a murderer’s truck, it’s a truck that murders on its own,” Clementine explained.  “She found her way to me a few years back.  I love the aesthetic, and I figured as long as she’s with me, she’s not racking up a body count."

... alright then! This sounds like the setup for a weird dark comedy

New Aware:

Old veteran who returns to war when he sleeps

Young woman whose work takes a long time

Guy who is being hunted by people who "want what they're owed"

“I wouldn’t want to be the one to try,” Shellie said.  “They’re frustrated he’s so hard to get to, these days.  Kind of like certain school staff, who were pretty eager for someone to give them a reason.” Verona looked away. Shellie laughed.

weirdly comforting to see that Verona is bothered by what happened to Bristow (and what almost happened to her)

Her stomach was sore, like she’d been punched there a few times and couldn’t relax the muscles.  She didn’t remember taking any hits there yesterday.

could be emotional? I know anxiety can sometimes show up as stomach pain

"What would do the most damage if I didn’t deal with it? Either in terms of mess and her opinion of me, or the… I don’t know. The reversed music box that turns random people nearby into babies. Lotion that makes you immortal, but more and more cruel. A paper airplane that was really good at flying, and slitting throats with papercuts.”

this is making me feel better about the amount of cleaning I don't do

“Start big. The most obvious, problematic stuff. And the stuff that’s easiest to handle. Then you work your way down. Then you ask yourself what the next biggest problem you’re facing is. What needs to be handled? And you work your way down."

priority matrix time

“You should be good at that,” Shellie said.  “The way you dealt with the biggest threat last night, and murked our landlord.” That feeling in Verona’s stomach, like she’d been repeatedly punched, shifted all at once. Like hands were gripping her guts, twisting.

ah. yeah that's the guilt hitting. I thought Verona was being a little callous/blase earlier, even by her standards. I think she was probably subconsciously trying to stave off the emotional impact of winning a fight that left the other guy as good as dead

The food stuff made her think of the brownie’s gift, like a prize or some crap, and the pain made her think of her dad, and of not going home, and karma, and the-

and also she ended up in some pretty dark places emotionally when she got captured and thought she had lost, and I don't think getting out of that situation actually resolved those feelings, just tabled them

“Verona bottles crap up and doesn’t think about it until it blindsides her.  It’s been a few years since you did that like this, Ronnie.”

right, Lucy mentioned this before, like when Verona trashed her room. She doesn't seem to have lost any memories this time at least?

“Not girlfriend. Partner, I think. I might be jumping the gun on that one, but… I really want it to be the case. I took the leap, reached out after talking to Charles, that old man you introduced us to. I told them my life was complicated, they’re okay with that. I’ll ease them into the rest.”

love wins <3

also happy that Avery is meeting more queer people

“They came after us, over and over again. They used us, they pit us against their enemies,” Lucy said.

Lucy switching to the plural here because she's referring to Alexander as well as Bristow

“I’m not glad it happened, I wish we found another way, but the important thing is that we found a way,” Lucy said.

honestly, this seems like a pretty healthy attitude. Yeah, it's fucked up what happened to Bristow, but they didn't have options for less lethal approaches and they gave him multiple chances to back down. No sense in beating themselves up about it.

Lucy hadn’t slept well last night.  None of them had.  But Lucy less than either Avery or Verona. A lot of Lucy spacing out today made sense too. She gave Lucy a one-armed hug, walking beside her. Lucy returned the hug.

friends help friends cope with murder :)

She’d seen enough monsters, enough shitty people.  Practitioners… she got why Matthew was so spooked, dropping them off here, the way he’d talked about the other kids and teachers.

Thinking back to one of my early theories on why, if the Kennet Others want their own practitioners to be homegrown and not acclimatized to normal practitioner society, they would send them to this school: Because the school/people are bad enough to make the girls poorly disposed to other practitioners

She didn’t want the light in Lucy to go dark.  She didn’t want Lucy to stop being about justice and fighting injustice and being elegant and being someone who could fit in with beautiful people like George and Amadeus and Mia.

:)

“We gotta keep each other on the straight and narrow, away from all those traps,” Verona said.  “Keep the best parts of ourselves.”

I've talked before about how being a three person team gives them a strategic advantage, but it also helps emotionally/morally. I think without other people they could trust, they'd all be spiraling. Verona the most.

“Self, spirit, soul.  Who are you?” the new teacher asked the class.  No introduction or anything.  “Who or what will each of you become?  What were you when you began, except your parent’s child, and what will you be when your story closes?  Do you really change, from start to finish?”

well that's on the nose

[pbandjesse]

I do not know what but my leg is hurting very much. It started yesterday and it hasn't improved. Even with James trying to squeeze and massage it. Hopefully I just like twisted something weird and I'll be okay soon. Cause it's really uncomfortable.

But today was a nice day. And it's Jess's birthday! She finally joined me in being in her thirties. And she got the flowers we sent her! Poster above, they are shaped like a cat and we though they were hilarious.

I slept alright last night. And felt a little better this morning. James had loaded up the car already. I was slow to start. But got myself together and we headed out.

We beat the rain. But it would be on and off all day. And after we got breakfast James helped me set up my table.

The pavilion was all wet but Ann had worked hard on brushing the water away with the broom. But I wouldn't notice a new puddle showed up under my chair and the whole bottom of my dress got soaked and it kept sticking to my legs and it was cold and terrible. I would survive but only barely.

Callie was at the market today working for Helen. It was so fun having a friend there. And it wasn't a terrible day. I made my break even sale goal, but it was slow. The rain didn't help I'm sure. But there were good waves of people.

And I had fun. Sewing. People watching. Chatting with CJ. I had my two little friends come and I showed them how to sew and let them work on some of my keychain bears. I will be redoing them but it was fun to let them do it.

I did have a slightly stressful interaction with some kids who wanted to buy keychains and their parents said yes but then wanted me to change the pins to keychains and I did but then the kids changed their minds and had meltdowns about wanting pins still. There was a lot of screaming?? But it was fine. I am glad they liked my stuff.

It started storming really hard and it got really loud for a while. But it would calm down again. And as 1 came around we started packing up. And then it started raining again and I got all wet carrying everything to the car. Ah well. It wasn't to bad.

I went and said goodbye to James. And then I went home.

When I got back here I would collect my dried flowers and put some new ones in my books. Callie let me keep some that fell on the group. And had my leftover chipotle from last night.

I got changed and laid down. And would eventually fall asleep.

I woke up when James came in. I told them to wake me up for real when they got done in the shower. And I would take my time getting myself together. James had two podcasts to do today. And once I was up and dressed I left.

I drove out to joann's to buy yarn. They didn't have the colors I wanted but I got black and that's fine. I went to savers next and had a weird interaction when I asked to get by someone and they were really rude. They were blocking the whole aisle and I waited a little but they weren't moving so I asked politely to get by and they made a fuss backing up to make room and then said I should have gone down a different aisle??? No?? You don't own the whole store?? It out a bad taste in my mouth. I hadn't had my headphones in but I would put them on now because I didn't want to hear nasty people anymore.

I would end up finding two more skeins of yarn that were brand new and the brand I like. $3 a piece! So I was very pleased. And I found a little white towel rack (?) That was only $2 and I am going to use as camp and I was very pleased. And older lady, as I was leaving the store, told me it was a really cool find!

I checked out and went over to the goodwill. There I found a dress for the Ren fair. And had a nice conversation with the woman at the counter. She thought using the dress for the Ren fair was a great idea.

In the car I decided I wanted a pretzel. But the Towson mall was closing soon. So instead I drove out to white Marsh mall. And got a piece of pizza and a pretzel and walked around the mall for an hour. Smelling all the lotions at bath and body works. Looking at the jewelry and makeup at Claire's. Enjoying that goth fashion is back at hot topic. It was fun.

At 730 I went home. Getting back here at 8. As James was finishing their podcast. While they did that I played with making my Ren fair outfits. And soon would go and take a shower.

Me and James have been hanging out in bed since then. I am cozy and happy.

And tomorrow is the first day of camp!! I'm excited. I hope it's a good day and everything goes smoothly. Wish us luck. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[zaenight]

Crazy but she's mine ch2

"You gotta be kidding me, what the fuck!" Jackie exclaimed.

a week had gone by , Jackie and Illiana found a small house that they managed to buy as the older of the two got a job at a butcher shop called

Carnicería Reyes.

The poor man was about to close down the shop , but alas fate had other plans.

Illiana was still a little dissappointed that her father

wanted nothing to do with her.

But anyways back to the problem at hand.

"You fucking dick!" Jackie yelled at the one and only Ez and Angel Reyes.

"My bad." He said shrugging.

Oh and the big kick was that her boss was also the father of Ez and Angel,fuck her life.

"Fuck you mean "my bad", my fucking tires are slashed , your brother has the damn knife in his hands!" She exclaimed.

"uh oh hermano chica blanca parece que está a punto de quemar un fusible." Angel snickered.

(uh oh bro white girl looks like she's about to blow a fuse.)

"Oh I'll show you about to blow a fuse!" The woman exclaimed launching at him.

"Oh shit she understood me!" Angel yelled as he was tackled.

"Damn your heavy!" he exclaimed as a fist punched him in the face.

"Fuck you!" Jackie yelled as Ez pulled her off of him.

"Damn , thats the second time you attacked one of my memebers." Ezekiel murmured as she tried launching at angel again.

"¡Maldita sea, le diste justo en el ojo!" He said with a laugh as Angel groaned.

(Damn you got him right in the eye!)

"It's not fucking funny , she has the punch of three grown men!" Angel exclaimed before muttering curses.

"Jackie are w- oh its you people again." Illiana said coming outside.

"Mini Bishop." Angel greeted.

"Don't call me that, also tell him to go fuck him self." The young girl said spitting in the grass.

"Camila-" Ez started until he felt a hand slap him.

"How the hell do you know my first name!" Jackie yelled as he held his cheek.

Angel was worried now , after gabriella,after becoming President,his brother could be a bit unhinged.

" You work for our Father he let it slip, and you have some balls you know that." Ez said not believing this woman just slapped him.

"Whats the matter baby?, cant handle a woman who doesn't let you control her." Jackie said glaring as he stepped forward.

"Jackie! Look!" Illiana pointed as the men from yesterday pulled up on their bikes.

"The hell do you want from me,Illiana go inside!" The woman yelled.

"Bu-" Illiana stopped when she saw Bishop walk over and ran inside.

"We fucking own you , you belong to the Mayans." Bishop said with a glare.

"The hell I do!" Jackie exclaimed as she glared at them.

"Ez laid claim on you , so you belong to our dear president." Angel said taking a step back as she stepped forward.

"The fuck happened to your eye?" Hank asked.

"He got my fist to his face , and if you don't get the hell off our property-" Jackie started untill Ez cut her of.

"Enough! I laid claim , No man's ever gonna look at you,or touch you,unless they want their faces bashed in-" he started untill she slapped him.

"Bold of you to assume I only like men, and two, You dont fucking own me you son of a bitch,you can't just lay claim on me,I'll fuck whoever the hell I want,Just because you wear those kuttes and ride thise big bikes don't mean shit to me!" She rambled.

"Damn! can we keep her?" Creeper exclaimed with a whistle.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" Illiana yelled , coming out of the house she held a shotgun,pointed specifically at Bishop.

"Shit! put it down." Hank said

raising his hands.

"No! stay the hell away from us,or else." The teen said.

"Put the fucking gun down kid!" Bishop yelled.

"Fuck you old man!" She yelled.

Suddenly Jackie let out a laugh scaring the crap out of Creeper and Angel.

"Damn kid I knew there was a reason I decided to stick with you." Jackie cackled.

"Enough!, Look my father closed down his shop afterall,so you need a job anyway." Ez said still suprised that these girls had the balls to stand up to them.

"Fuck you , if you think im gonna be one of your damn whore-" She started untill Ez laughed.

"amar, I was gonna say you can work at the bar." He smirked.

"Besides you need the cash." Angel said looking at the house.

"Fine, but if you think- Illiana you can put the gun down now." Jackie cut herself off.

"Man, I was having fun,the bald one looked like he was about to piss em' self." Illiana groaned taking the gun inside.

"You know for the last week that kid has cried hersself to sleep because you decided to be a dick,you didn't have to automatically be her father,but you could've showed her you gave a damn instead of looking at her like trash." Jackie said as bishop came over to the group.

"Fuck you old man!" Illiana said kicking Bishop in the balls before saluting Jackie and going inside.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed.

"Oh this is gonna be fun." Jackie laughed.

Ez stared at her wondering why she wasn't scared of them , what kind of life did she have before santo padre?

"The fuck you looking at?,also my fucking tires are still slashed, I expect them fixed for free!" Jackie said pulling him by his belt.

Damn this woman,Obedient and Submissive was a Quality most of the old ladies had,but Jackie was the opposite,and that made it all the more exciting.

---------------

[jasminebutintaiwansojiemin]

July 15th, 2024 星期一 - Chiang Kai Shek Memorial, Presidential building, Shilin Night Market, The Grand Hotel, etc.

I went to bed very early yesterday, so I woke up around 4am. I have a lot going back at uni so I had to do A LOT of administrative stuff whilst half asleep since it was afternoon over there. After doing that for a few hours, I got up and went to breakfast around 7am. I’ve been trying to limit my portions lately, so thankfully I didn’t eat too much.

After breakfast, I went to the 15th floor where I did a zoom meeting for one of my dances and then started recording a series of videos for one of my clubs. I successfully did 2/4, but then on the third video, this lady walked in with her kids and interrupted me so i just ended it there. Then I returned to my room and laid in the bed before going to find a bookstore with my roommate. After what felt like a million years trying to find this bookstore with the most obscure location ever, we finally found it. Unfortunately they didn’t have what she was looking for so we went to go find a ramen restaurant instead.

Once we got to the restaurant, it wasn’t open yet for another ten minutes. We just decided to go look for the curry place nearby because my roommate is vegetarian. We never did find it but we did find an Indian restaurant where surprisingly the owner didn’t speak any Mandarin. The prices were pretty high so we just returned back to the ramen restaurant. I was originally going to order takeout, but we decided to eat in because they had vegetarian options. The food was pretty good, probably a 7/10 (I used to work at a ramen restaurant). They were playing Gee by Girls Generation when we walked in which I thought was funny because it’s a Japanese restaurant in Taipei lol. Although the place was pretty small, it was packed with people. My roommate thought the waiter was cute so I complimented him on his tattoo (which made him roll sleeve up for the rest of the time we were there to show it off), but when she hit on him later he was not with it unfortunately (she thinks he may have been into me instead since I was talking to him but alas).

After lunch (which we left our water bottles at in a hurry to scurry after the speed flirting), we scurried back to the hotel (not before stopping at the WRONG bank trying to pull out money) where I showered quickly before our classroom time. After doing homework during the self-study classroom time, we all met up and headed out to visit Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall, alongside the Grand Hotel (we took a shuttle bus thank god), and the Presidental hall. It was so hot and humid that i was dripping sweat down my legs (i also forgot my umbrella because I hate myself). It was cool getting so see such ornamented places and I always love seeing the Chinese style gates.

We ended at the Shilin Night Market, where I ate a Korean corn dog and drank some Cranberry juice before doing some shopping with some classmates. I bought a few pieces of clothes, adding to the various items I bought at the many gift shops I’d seen that day. I was also able to get a glass blown bok choy charm because on of my classmates was able to haggle the old lady working the counter really well (bless him). When I returned home, I again knocked out around 9pm (I really need to stop doing that) and woke up at 4am.

Academic Reflection

Today’s reading talked about China Kai-shek’s personality cult that was used to legitimize his rule not only in Taiwan, but in Mainland China as well. I thought it was interesting when the reading compared him to Stalin because after visiting the museum, I see how the comparisons could be drawn. I think it’s good that the museum had the section talking about all the ways in which Chiang Kai-shek was NOT a perfect leader and how his rule effectively oppressed many people. I also thought it was interesting when the text talked about how China Kai-shek consciously used Confucian values to gain respect, and then later switched to painting himself as the subservient loyal student of Sun Yat-sen.

Something else that piqued my interest was when the reading talked about the different non-governmental organizations that worked faithfully to promote Chiang Kai-shek’s personality as being the embodiment of Chinese culture and virtue. The Officer’s Moral Endeavor Association, for example, though having a purpose not related to the government, turned into a full fledged Chiang Kai-shek fan club. Through this article I also learned the full name of the YMCA. This reminds me of how in the U.S., there are certain non-government related organizations that absolutely lick the boots of certain political figures when it comes to election seasons. Off the top of my head, I can remember that the NRA (National Rifle Association) is an organization that is very involved in politics, and in the past few years the promotion of certain political candidates/figures in comically positive ways.

[ribbonheartache]

yesterday I found out how utterly evil my last place of work is. I am honestly shocked how they managed to stoop even lower than the subterranean level of an expectation I had for them to be somewhat decent when they showed me once again how truly awful and disrespectful they could be. I gave my heart and soul to my last job, investing everything I had to their benefit while being wildly underpaid because I fell for their lies and thought they were good people and genuinely wanted to help and do my best for them, because I'm that much of an idiot and give too much before I know if they deserve it. I shouldn't be surprised because they were disgustingly cruel to everyone who resigned, so it was only a matter of time before they turned on me too even after everything I did for them. They still didn't pay me for the additional work I did for them after leaving, over 2 years ago, when they had an emergency, and gave me a shitty excuse as to why they decided not to pay me after saying they would. I still have nightmares about work, after everything they put me through and dumping all of their personal problems on me on top of overworking me for shit pay. When I had a death in my family they expected me to still come in and gave me barely any time to grieve, I was sobbing uncontrollably for days for the first time in my life and all they didn't even care and harassed me about coming in so they could abuse their ppp loan. When I got covid in spring of 2020 which I got AT work because my boss came in despite being sick, they didn't care about how I would make any income and told me to just not come in for 3 weeks while they tried to replace me, then told me they couldn't pay me full time anymore, then got mad at me when I told them I planned to resign in 12 weeks so I could train my replacement so they wouldn't be screwed over since they laid off everyone else. I still instantly feel the stress run through me like electricity when I think about how the one coworker who was being awful to everyone, not doing their work and pushing it on to everyone else, arriving late and leaving early and lying on their timesheet, and who even called me names and talked about my weight to my face, they did nothing about that either.

I hate them I hate them I. hate. them. I hope they become cursed.

[the-firebird69]

There's a huge fight going on it's fisherman's village no but usually there is and people don't want them down there frankly I don't think he wants to be there either that's too expensive expense too much money and takes too much time to do stuff but it does help out because it's a way of getting things to come up to the surface and he went over there the other day and he was talking about people who are ruining his life and they're walking around right near him doing dumb s*** trying to dumb s*** well they had a diatrab afterwards to say so he sent it in we decoded it and I sent it out and we suggest Max do it they did it and said wow these people are dead cuz they we're going to give orders to have people go around and do things to people and we intercepted a lot of it and started putting them down and taking them out and it's time now there and they're in motion so we are going after them and with gusto and foreigners are Max are everybody it's going after this jackasses and it is too late for them to turn back they say and they don't want to go on without a son and all the stuff so we're going after them hard here. And yeah I guess you could say they're in terrorist mode some of them so we are on the lookout and we are sending out for reinforcements and we are pulling their cards and taking them to task and to prison a lot of them went to prison already this morning several lawsuits went out John remillard didn't show up and he's going to get arrested we are going to send out teams to arrest him and teams that are specifically targeting him and people usually found around him and we're going ahead and doing it and it's been done a little but not that much and from now on we're going to do it is a lot of stuff going on but that'll help a lot we'll find out what's in the way every time these people are like a big tree cut you cut a piece out there's another piece you have to cut out and you just have to keep going around it eventually it's going to fall over I don't have any time to tell you that we have to get rid of tons of them now they're huge assholes and I've never heard people saying so many dumb things in my life either they say stuff that is often it's annoying I'm going after them there's a lot going on here a lot of people are getting fired all over Charlotte county and for good

80% of the private workforce of morlock have been fired 5% were fired the other day and they're firing 5% more today leaving 10%. 75% of the government workers were fired last month 15% this month and they are firing 5% more which will leave 5% only. And that's in Charlotte county.

It's quite a few more announcements but he just got a package and it's good news it's for his cold stuff has a nice reflector on it the other one did but it wasn't working that much and he's keeping the old one as a new top kit but for medicines and things which is great it's big it holds a lot of stuff and he might use it to stop kit because he can put his medicines in small containers. They're mostly supplements. And here's how it goes we're fighting now and we're fighting social security and we're fighting all sorts of people across the board they're a bunch of assholes and we noticed what he was saying it's practically nobody is interested in getting me money so we really have to work hard and a lot harder an alarm sounding yesterday and big ones today the more like a mostly stupid and the foreigners don't want Mac to get him the money and they hesitate with social security but they realize it might be an idea you think they might help put a few checks and one of them is a delay and that was done by the trumps and they're going to get hit for it they said so is love going on today there's more things of the

- Charlotte county sheriff they laid off 10 more so it's down to 1:30 and they hired more about 30 more minority warlock there's probably 500 of them. It says Garth looks like a UPS worker it's not the sheriff's really is he doesn't look that way but it's a little small it looks like Martin it's one of those characters maybe no

-there's some other stuff happening it's pretty it's pretty big and it's here in Charlotte county it's going on right now they are firing more and more people from all sorts of jobs but they say they would it's at 5%. So they're doing that and they're also firing some of the building department people and they're doing it now they're firing people who from the planning department the building department but ancillary and several of the people who work there regularly they want them out they got big mouths they don't know what you're talking about they don't know construction that well and they are blocking projects all over the place indiscriminately some of them are like their own kin and they want them out too they're ridiculous and it's going on now I tell you what they're no heroes for their people they just lazy piece of s*** and Dan can tell you there's so many pieces of s*** out there that we can't get anything done either even though we don't want to and it's horrible so they're firing a lot of them today I'm sure they'll come around cuz they think he's in the same business and he actually does the job a lot of it huge construction projects mass of engineering feats are his partially and he says it because I do a lot of the engineering as well not a hardcore stuff at basis of things. There's a lot going on today and we're going to get more out later

Thor Freya

This is a huge day they're finally working on places that needed to be worked on in order for this area to be held by others it took a damn long time A lot of people are being threatened all over the world for these few idiots and they didn't appreciate it and they're actually going after them and their money and they're doing it now in the cities and it's a huge day because of that and because the warlock are also attacking several spots they're going after the money which is turning into a good size fight they're going after the tap Root chips which is huge the planetoids is getting much bigger and they are also planning on another attack on the United States people here are getting removed people are getting displaced a lot of them are getting killed from the neighborhood and their clans are weaker pretty soon very weak and small and the other ones are not growing they only shrinking it only be a matter of time before they're out and our permanently they don't think so but that's the way it is everybody says it too once you're out you ain't coming over you ain't never coming back you're such a losers and it's going on all day long they're pulling these people out constantly

Hera they're draining and siphoning themselves the way Australia is another example that having a huge word below and it's over uranium it's a different war or battle but it is one of the biggest I've ever seen I've never seen so many of them die so quickly ever in history it's a massive massive massive pile of death and probably half the island is gone it was there two days ago and they're reloading with people and going in and they're calling that's a huge percentage of the population too it's it's like 6% of the population was destroyed down below it was used before and it was that many before but this is going to continue two or three times they say three times they have another way and it's going to work and they like his idea and it's kind of speeding up today they might reach 60% of the island gone but refilling it is making it complicated so I'm going to say the island is back to 7% and we think 50% of that will be gone today if not more and yeah it was at 12% and went to about 6.5% and it's a fight below they're losing like this all over the world. And they have ships out and they're evacuating they plan to reach about 10% but that shrinks in the general population from about 15% for real to about 11% and they are also losing huge number of said all these battles and wars and they lose probably a percent today which is a lot but today is going to be more than that probably 2% and it's not big enough for them to change their way yet so off Island they are at 11% on island 7%, they're going to lose 2% overall today we estimate they'll be at 16%

Hera

We're in the above part but we're going to get going here he's going to get out and we have a place for him to head to

Thor Freya

Olympus

[ugly-sweater]

i have got to complain about this im sorry

so last January my dad turned 65 and retired. he sold his business and moved to west Virginia with his girlfriend (who is not retirement age?? but she worked for him so) (yeah) (she's like 25 years younger than him too) he was apparently planning this for a while because he already had bought a house and gone down to do some work on it before then. he took my grandma out to dinner to break the news to her. she seems fine with it now whenever i talk to her but my brother said she was kinda pissed at first. ok. thats fine whatever. except that i haven't seen or heard from him since my uncle's wedding last june. he did not send any of my siblings a message on christmas. we didn't even know if he was coming up or not. he didn't send me a birthday card - presumably my older brother either but i don't talk to him. my birthday is the beginning of june, fathers day was yesterday. my grandma, my only relative to send me a birthday card, asked me to send him a father's day card. but I'm mad at him! he just retired and dropped off the face of the planet! he wasn't like, a very communicative parent before that, but he sent me birthday cards and i saw him on holidays. i didn't send him a card but i did text him. he's not a big texter but i didn't even get a reply. idk if my younger brother is mad or not its hard to tell. he has resisted my familys nasty temper lol.

but. like of all people he deserves to be the most mad. he lived with my dad up until he sold his house here, he didn't find out where he was moving until like right before it happened. they are like. presumably closer than the rest of my siblings? theyre similar in personality and he's the only one who has lived with my dad since 2006 and like. my brother got him a christmas present and when he found out my dad didn't come up for xmas he kept it for himself like.

to be fair even before he moved he has been especially bad at communication there's lots of family events ive missed because no one told me about them, probably because they expected my dad to. i remember a couple years ago we had a birthday party for grandma in july in his backyard and my brother texted me the Day Of to ask if i was coming and i said no i had no idea it was happening and what did he say? me neither i just got home (when he lived with my dad) and people were here.

like. i know don't diagnose other people with things etc etc but my father is the most undiagnosed autistic man alive. also at my uncles wedding he looked like he had aged 10 years or something it was wild. idk. im mad. my mom sometimes talks about how he was so bad with communication when they were together like he would just show up at his friends house and be like oh hes not here i wanted to see if he wanted to go fishing. like. call??? btw this particular friend owned my dads business and was his boss until he retired and my dad bought it from him, and is like, 25 years older than my dad. also my dad only has one other friend, a guy he's known since high school, they go to car shows together.

idk i don't need my dad to be a lot of things. as far as dads go he is not actively harmful. i don't doubt that he loves me. he just absolutely doesn't know how to maintain a relationship with anyone. and i don't like feeling like its my responsibility to maintain it when he has just like given up or gone off to live in his own little world.

also not to complain about my own autism but i feel so much like there are things people expect me to do but have not explicitly laid them out or shown me how to do them ever so i don't do them and then i feel anxious because i don't know what people expect of me!!! also its sexist because clearly theyre not expecting it of my father. ok im done. might update in September for my younger brothers birthday (hes the baby and hes very doted upon) (the favorite but like. he is my favorite too its not a weird thing)