#and then when she comes home tell her we found it outside and it wouldve died if we didnt get it

[all-inmoderation]

ugh one thing i dislike about under the oak tree is how riftan and maxi have like,,, no friends. like riftan is such a fucking asshole to his knights and has such a stick up his ass that i have to wonder why do these other knights follow him ??? his entire character trait is being a downright asshole to everyone but maxi and it gets tiring to read at some points bc to me, it really flattens the world.

because personally, even when i read a romance, i want the main leads to have an enriched life outside of their love interest! i always hoped to see a scene of riftan having some form of camaraderie w his knights and treating them with,,, at least a little bit of friendliness, perhaps ??? bc i want there to be a reason these knights are following riftan, other than just him being a good warrior. i know riftans general disposition is very reserved and rigid but good god how many times has he gone to war w these guys??? and yet he cant even return a modicum of the affection and respect ruth and the other knights give to him smfhhhh

and as for maxi. i have a less of a grudge w her bc of her backstory obviously but i wish the author couldve shown her finding some solace in friendship as part of her journey in healing. its beautiful that she comes to see riftan as a source of home and safety, but i also wanted to see her dynamic w ruth deepen, along with Agnes. *especially* Agnes, actually, i want Maxi to slowly but surely stop feeling insecure and threatened around her. the little nuggets of her interacting w them and the maids and other knights are so charming and heartwarming to see. I want to see Maxi LOVE the people in their house and form genuine connections with them beyond surface level.

I do think the author does a good job of that when it comes to maxi and the household staff but.. the most disappointing part and the entire reason of this post was how utterly disappointed I was with maxi going to Nornui for three years and not making any fucking FRIENDS. like BRUH. do you know how desperately i wanted to see Maxi in Nornui, thriving despite herself, socially thriving and loving magic even while she's missing riftan. Like I haven't read book 3 yet but that little sneak peak we got of the first few chapters where some of the other students treated her like shit and she only had surface level friendships with some other wizards was sO FRUSTRATING TO READDD. l

like you're telling me maxi left home for THREE YEARS and she spent that ENTIRE TIME missing riftan and keeping everyone at a distance ???? didn't she leave bc she felt suffocated by riftans obsession and she wanted to become more of her own person ??? what the hell was the point then if she made no real connections and just wasted it thinking about riftan lmfao. they'll just go back to where they started- two people who are obsessed w each other w no other companionship, except now maxi just knows how to throw magic rocks or whatever lmfao.

sigh. im being being a bit nitpicky but i just really really wanted to see maxi in nornui making really good friends and building up confidence and pride- and then i wanted her to come back to anatol and for her riftan to see her and see how she's more at ease, maybe even a little more charming, and more confident after spending time in the towers and gaining the admiration and respect of other wizards, and coming back w her own allies and supporters. people whose companionship she forged on her own instead of what was forced onto her (like her marriage). like if it had been up to me i wouldnt have even had any of the wizards at the tower be rude to maxi- i wanted her leave in the tower to be one where she found herself and who she was, beyond her marriage, beyond even her magic.

like even though maxi is shy and reserved i wanted to see her come out of her shell a little bit is that too much to ask? and i wouldve loved to see that kind of transformation in her and how riftan wouldve handled it. of course its not to say that maxi shouldve come back from nornui as an extremely confident outgoing girl with no fears, in fact i think having a significant change but then her returning to anatol and bringing up her old habits and characteristics against who she's become wouldve been so delicious to see , but alas, i dont think thats where the story goes at all.

[ven-dett-a]

HAJIME (the yankee) HC (rlly testing what hc means in this case ig)

Okay so my favorite one other than the tattoo artist is flower shop (keep in mind im trying to keep in mind the timeframe the game happens in the best i can. Also that im a filthy American so idk japanese customs for some things heart emoji) Some basics that im not explaining just yet is i dont believe hajimes family is the best off financially, stable enough now but when hajime was younger there was alot more struggle. Id also like to add, My hc that while hajimes mom was japanese, Hajime was born in america and they only moved back to japan when he was 8. Theres reasons to this that tie into the hc above (specifically the fact im not mentioning his father) that ill explain later. I havent found any proof for hajime or tsuginos ages around this time so i imagine theyre 16 --- There was a flower shop owned by this little old woman, only opened during the spring and summer. It was located in a small strip with two other stores beside it, an old building a few feet behind the flower shop, between them was an alleyway where the dumpster for the flower shop sat. A bit far from the exit but she managed. One night when she walked out, there was a boy laying against the dumpster, no older than 12, hands pressed against bleeding wounds and his mouth and he tried to regain enough strength to get home. --- (This is set long before he meets tsugino for knowledge) As we know in canon hajime got into fights, tsugino mentioning this detail when describing hajime early on in tsog, "he would tell me stories on how he had defeated men who had tried go get in his way, or how he had beaten a shoplifter to a pulp... Such unimportant sagas." I imagine he didnt just start that suddenly, it had been going on for a while. And he seems prideful in the fact hes won, so its likely hed never tell tsugino about the losses. The beginning of this headcanons simple, Hajime lost a fight badly, he was over cocky and bit off more than he could chew. what little stuff hed brought was taken from him and he was just left there. The owner of a shop infront of the alleyway had gone to throw away the last bits of trash from the day and had found him groveling, hand covering his mouth to keep the noises of pain as quiet as possible as he was trying to stop the bleeding from some of the more serious wounds. The old lady had brought him into her store quickly, using what she had to help bandage him up. Violence outside wasnt uncommon, but for a young child.. While fixing the young boys wounds she had given a slight lecture about fighting, in response he turned his head away, if it wasnt for the fact he was hurt he wouldve just left. The old woman sighed as she continued working on bandaging his wounds. --- The shop owner continued bandaging the boys arm, but after a spout of silence.... "...who started it?" The woman asked as she knotted the bandage off. The boy didnt look at her for a moment, eyes glued to the floor, worrying his already busted lip between his teeth. It took him a few moments to finally grumble out the answer. "I did.." "Now why would you do that?" The old woman questioned his motives on a whim, she didnt know this boy, but wanted to know non the less. This is where hajime would go silent again, the woman beginning to work on cleaning up his blackened eye. --- The headcanon above comes into play here, hajime did provide an explanation finally, he did it for the money, street fighting had a payout and he was pretty good at it, his mom needed the help but places didnt want to hire a kid. The woman was silent after that until shes gotten him cleaned up. Before she sent him home however she told him to come back to her shop after school the next day. Surprisingly he did. A small loaf of bread in hand aswell, telling her it was from his mother as a thank you for helping him the night before. -- The old woman waved her hand. "Im not in need of that sweetie.. but if youd really like to thank me, could you help me get this display moved? Its hard on my poor bones.." --

he did. Hed help the woman with a few more things aswell. He didnt see the problem with it, despite everything he was taught manners. Once hed finished however she'd handed him an envelope, upon opening it there was money. She told him shed see him again tomorrow. He continued that process until the end of the season, it wasnt an official job persay, the lady explained once that he was being paid under the table, but it was still money. It was still helpful. Hed return the next season, and the next, and the one after that. Soon he was being paid as a normal employee. He didnt stop fighting, often times showing up to work with a few cuts and bruises, a black eye here and there. The woman stopped scolding him after a while, changing to asking if hed atleast won this one. Hajime had stayed working at the flower shop every season until his death. Visiting his grave youd always find new bouquets every week. its important to bring up why i think this fits him The old lady is there because i wantwd him to have mor interaction outside.of tsugino, but i think a job at a flower shop doesn't contrast his personality that much The concept of him being a delinquent but being one of the only people to like tsugino the way he is is very similar to him getting into fights but working at a flower shop for a elderly woman

[ishifted-jdayz]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii shifted again. guys i fucking love my wr. infinitely more peaceful than my cr (niece is currently screaming in the other room) but idccccccccccc bc it was so easy to get there i literally just said "im gonna go to my wr" and then went to sleep and woke up there again. my cat pib was there in my bed purring and the sun was coming in through the window MAN. its fucking sick

ate some delicious sushi for breakfast (ik, im just not much of a breakfast guy) and it was awesome, then curled up and started sketching while watching s3.5 of my fave show again. spent some time outside walking, then went back into my big ass library greenhouse thing and decided to learn some more languages. it is so fucking cool guys also english is the silliest language fr. french is a close second. my fave rn is mandarin which is important for some drs of mine but idk the tonal changes slay

saw my horse todayyyyyyyyyyyy shes fucking huge. deep brown w black feathering at the bottom. i tacked her up and took her out riding a bit. god it was so fucking nice to be on a horse again. i also noticed im much more flexible (which is nice bc i scripted it but i forgor) and being taller than my cr is also like jarring to come back to i was so used to it 😭😭😭😭

but yeah i took my horse up to the creek and stuck my feet in thereeeeee best feeling ever. i scripted that i Can tell the like. difference between cold and Wet (because fun fact humans in this reality cannot feel Wetness, its just a change of temperature/pressure! we dont have the nerves for it or smth idk) so THAT was cool. dk how to describe it but yeah it was super cool.

anyway yeah we meandered into the forest a bit and i saw a fucking moose which was crazy. ive never seen one irl before theyre SO big holy shit. i grabbed an apple from a tree and brushed it off and then ate it while i rode it was just so nice. guys i love nature 😭😭😭😭

then i went back home and cracked open a book to read. in my cr im rereading the series bc i forgor the context bc itd been 10 years since between when i last reread and getting the final book, but here i just did the "know" thing for the other four and then started reading the fifth <3333 its so fucking good so far.

idek how long i read for bc??? the hours there seem to be longer??? idk that whole day felt like so long but in a good way. idk time is fake ANYWAY. read a lot and then finally went inside. ate more sushi bc i can but i decided to try Every One from my favorite sushi spot here so i know which ones i like and which ones i dont and well. my faves are still my faves but ive found some good onessssssssss SLAY. i love being able to like. eat however much and not feel sicky like i can just Make myself feel hungry again and then i am and can continue eating. there were def some that i like crossed off my list as stuff i dont really care for but 1) not many 2) ive got a higher spice tolerance now so Even Less than wouldve been in my old reality, so idk dude we are just fucking slaying. also i love my hair there its perfect it doesnt get in my face when i dont want it too but it looks so good MAN

ok next things i want to do when i go back probably practice piano again, get a hang of the violin and flute, just focus on instruments. languages are fun but also instruments babey!!!!!!!!!!! im loving this so much fr GOD ITS SO FREEING!!!1 ok

[ghostshaarkmoved]

edit: this is incoherent but bc i got a fish tank i can now get a pet tortoise lets go

ah ha ha guys so i have a million projects and hobbies going on at any time right and i recently set up a fish tank in my room next to my plant table (ive loved aquatic stuff for a while and my family has a 155 gal saltwater tank i kno what im doin ok im not doin it cos it looks cool before anyone tries to start smthn) and bc its getting so much sunlight bc my plant table is set up to get lots of sun (and i cant move the tank, there's no other spot and also there's 27 gallons of water and 8 fish in it that i dont have a temp tank for) its growing white algae on the substrate, which doesnt harm them but its a bitch to clean and looks gross, so the plan is to move the plant table so i can just not open my window by the tank (not a problem) but this table is big and bulky and i kind of dont want it wear i would have to move it so im gonna use an old long table mh fam has to fit my plants underneath my other window and that leaves the former plant table up for a new project: a tortoise enclosure table, which i have wanted for ages but havent been allowed to get

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’ 

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

��what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side 

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Aftermath)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is about 17 or 18; i cried while writing this. sorry this is really long!!! pls forgive me 🥺

prompt: takes place from a3 to smffh

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) Continued (5)

let’s start on a happy note! ahahah

so for a while, earth was calm

you, pepper, and tony got to be a family for a while

wedding planning!

of course you got to try the ben&jerry’s ice cream named after your dad: Stark Raving Hazelnuts

“it’s not fair that you got ice cream named after you and i didn’t”

“well, when you grow up to be as awesome as me, maybe you’ll get your own ice cream flavor”

developing nanotech suits together for a Bonding Experience(tm)

speechless after the first test

“dad, this is...”

“the coolest thing to ever exist?”

“yes!!”

yall ready for some shit?

the day that ebony maw invaded was pretty—what’s the word? interesting? no. well, yes, but...HORRIBLE.

it all started when you got the call from your dad

“y/n, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“god, i really have to change that. okay, JOSHIE, answer it. hey, dad? what’s up?”

“hey, kid! you know that weird ass building on bleecker street? how fast can you get here?”

“JOSH can you track FRIDAY really quick? lets see how far dad is...uh, okay, be there in five, see ya”

taking your suit for a spin and realizing how GREAT it was to be able to basically fold up your suit and put it in your back pocket

knocking on the door and it opened on its own, it was kinda cool

“is this a museum? cool.”

bruce turning around to see you after about three years and giving you an awkward smile and a wave while you stood frozen around the wizard-guys

“y/n, god, you’ve grown up!”

charging into him for a long overdue hug

“you don’t know how much i missed you. it’s been chaotic without you”

“i can...i can only imagine”

a debriefing on the situation you were about to face, and bonus! having to play the catch-up game with bruce

“just call him, dad. we need as much help as we can. steve will understand”

rushing outside to face off with some ugly-ass aliens

“oh nooo, it’s roger smith from american dad”

bruce: 👀, stephen: 👀, wong: 👀, tony: 👏👏🥰 that’s my girl

simultaneous nanosuit unveiling

“you ready for this one, pops?”

“of course! ive waited years to kick some more alien ass”

montage of you and tony getting your asses beat together (as a family <3)

peter showing up

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t send you back to that school bus”

“because i’m good company?”

“whatever, just listen to whatever dad has to say, i forfeit my responsibilities over you”

pew pew, repulsors, pew, tiny rockets! fun! action! destroying new york again and again. good times...

until JOSHUA gave you notice that your dad was flying high

“call him. now.”

“hey! how’s it going down there?”

“dad, you know how i feel about you and space”

“i know, i know. i just...i gotta take care of this. keep pepper safe for your old man, okay?”

“i lo—l—ve y—”

“y/n? y/n?! i love you! shit!”

“we lost connection with her, sir”

trying to call peter

“call failed, y/n. should i try again?”

“i’m gonna kill them...”

walking through the rubble to find bruce, the only sensible man you know

taking him to the avengers compound asap to get to rhodey and figure out what comes next

meanwhile, tony was dealing with space and another teenager

and worrying a lot about leaving you on earth

“i mean, mr. stark, y/n’s one of the most capable people i know. she’s probably trying to fix this whole mess as we speak”

“i didn’t get to tell her i love her”

“oh...”

having a lovely meeting with thaddeus ross with rhodey, having a lovely time watching them passive-aggresively argue until your former teammates arrived

having to patiently (and professionally) wait for ross to hang up before running into them for a hug

“holy shit, you guys have no idea how bad i’ve wanted to see you. it sucks not being all together anymore”

“i know, y/n. we’ve all missed you.” -cap

“a lot” -nat added

bruce’s little entrance that was sure to bring some awkwardness

you, secretly freaking out about your dad

sam was the one that found you crying after you “stepped out” for a few minutes too long

“oh, y/n,” he was contemplating grabbing someone else to step in, but decided to sit next to you in the hallway, “i’m sorry, kiddo. i can’t promise you anything, but your dad is a fighter. a big pain in the ass. i think your odds are good”

laughing through your tears

“yeah, you’re right. thanks, sammy”

he gave you a little hug while you calmed down

getting to business, the ass-kicking kind

as the wise natasha romanoff once said to your father, you were being “uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal”

your mind did this funny thing...wandered into places it really should not go

the talk about sacrificing vision led to wakanda, where you had a swell time patrolling

“guys! we’ve got incoming. a lot of incoming”

well-deserved uncle/niece team up. who wouldve thought?

you would have nightmares about these aliens for years to come

“you get to die, and you get to die! everybody gets to die!”

“y/n, what did we talk about?” -rhodey

“using humor as a defense mechanism makes the team uncomfortable...”

covering the girls 😌 because we gotta have those all-girl teamups, uh-huh?

some more blasting

thor made his comeback and you just could not miss it

“hi, thor!”

you landed next to him and your helmet receded

“well, hello, miss y/n! good to see you again! my, you got taller...oh! meet my friends: rabbit and tree”

having a “what the actual fuck” moment upon seeing thanos for the first time

and flying at him from behind with a massive nanotech blade ready to kill this purple bastard

but he grabbed your arm and flung you into the dirt, that was gonna leave a mark

“i just had to make a suit when i was ten...no one stopped me, huh? i couldn’t be elon’s kid, he was a nice guy”

watching thanos snap his fingers and looking around to see dust floating through the air and thanos retreat

“rhodey? uncle rhodey?!”

“i’m right here, kid, don’t worry”

he grabbed your hand while you were dusting

“tell my dad i love him, promise?”

fading away and leaving rhodey with your last words

he was mad before anything else

all he could think about was a promise your dad made him take years back

“rhodey, you keep my daughter safe no matter what, promise?”

the avengers recooperating at the compound, waiting to figure out whether any of the space-crew survived

they had to let pepper know that you didn’t make it, she was a mess upon hearing that news

tony finally making his way back to earth

and stumbling out of that ship

“where’s y/n? where is she?!”

“tony, tony, calm down”

“dont tell me to calm down! where is my daughter?!”

“she made me promise to tell you thay she loves you”

tony knew the answer by now, he lost his mind over your death

it didn’t feel right not having you by his side, for the past 18 years you’ve been with him

after a long period of recovery, tony and pepper moved on, got married, built a home, had a new daughter...

tony made sure there was a spare room for you

he put all the things you left behind in it

there were so many photos of you in the house

and he’d show your sister, morgan, all of them. he wanted morgan to know her sister

“that’s y/n when she built her first robot. it snuck up on me a few times. it went ‘boo!’”

morgan loved the stories about you, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see you

“when do i get to meet her?”

“uh...maybe someday, sweetie”

after being unbothered for almost 5 years, the remaining avengers came back with a plan that was so tempting, he just wanted his little girl back

cracking under pressure and telling pepper that he couldn’t ignore this mission because it was his chance to get you back

“get her back, tony”

“you think so?”

“i miss her, too.”

and so it began, he made it his mission to get you back

peeking at the wallet picture of you on his shoulders when you were so little

tony travelling to 2012; loki’s invasion

and there you were, the sassy genius 12 year old that he missed so much

“we’ve got this, tony, we’ll bring her home” -scott

and then things went badly and also 2012 tony went into cardiac arrest and 2012 y/n dove onto the floor to tend to him

“dad? give us some room, would you?!”

2023 tony smiling at how much he missed you worrying about him and how reckless he was

but also...the mission kinda went bad so that sucked

push it a bit farther back and now tony was with grandpa stark! asking how to be a dad and all that!

he could barely stand still waiting for you to come back to him, god he missed you more than he thought

and after a bit of hard work, it was time to snap

just like that, you were back in wakanda, puzzled by the gap in time before one of dr. strange’s portals opened in front of you

and then you were in the ruins of the avengers compound

“JOSHUA, can you locate my dad?”

“i think you’ll be able to see him”

“wow, i cant believe i programmed your cocky artificial ass”

“i think you can”

seeing your dad flying high and patching into the comms

“miss me, old man?”

and then he hit the gas to get to you and when this man hugged you, you almost couldn’t let go

“i’m so sorry, y/n. god, i’m sorry. these last five years...i was so lost without you”

“it’s okay, dad, i’m here now”

getting shot at during your reunion

“son of a bitch...we’re having a family moment here, asshole!”

yes, im gonna say it again. of course i am! and.........father/daugher team-up

the last one

“peter, is that you? you asshole! i cant believe you went to space without me!”

“missed you too!”

rhodey!! cant forget about uncle rhodey!!

“you gave my dad the message, right?”

“it was your dying wish, of course i did!”

“great. don’t forget i love you, too, rhodey!”

“couldn’t let me forget it”

lest we forget that pepper joined the fight?

plot twist: (step)mother/daughter team-up

mother/father/daugher team up!!!! ultimate stark machine!!!!!!!

and then you left him alone for 5 minutes and he’s got the infinity stones and you know it’s the last time you’re going to see him and you cant decide what your next move is and you’re just frozen and you cant catch your breath and he snaps and your heart plummets

you have to rush to his side, the last time you can sit beside his tired body and let him know that its going to be okay

“hey dad, it’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. thank you for everything”

peter grabbing your hand as you both sobbed next to your dad, feeling robbed of your time with him

pepper brought you home where she told you all about the five years you missed

both of you just cried harder than you’ve ever cried before

“so i have a sister?”

morgan was so happy to meet you, she couldn’t contain herself, practically latched onto you

and she didn’t fully understand what happened to tony

you saw your new room for the first time and didn’t leave it for a while, occasionally pepper or morgan would pop in

morgan actually crawled into bed with you a few times

the funeral was one of the worst days of your life

the remnants of your young life pulled back together for one day

then you hid back in your room before you heard a knock

“who is it?”

“it’s happy”

“come in”

“hey, kiddo. me and morgan are gonna get some cheeseburgers, you wanna come?”

she really was a stark

after a long hibernation, you started to get back into the groove of your old life

but the press was brutal and harsh, you were bombarded with questions regarding your dad

it took everything not to explode on camera

you stayed in contact with the rest of the avengers, mourning your dead, keeping the support system, staying a family

it was all you could get...for now

[ivyuns]

love again ❆✰

lee minho

genre: angst / fluff 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: drugs + language + a bit suggestive + a few grammar mistakes (this was written at 5 am plz i cant) 

A/N: why do i keep having dreams of someone who i used to like :(

masterlist

nonidol!minho x fem!reader

taking a picture of the scenery of paris in front of you, smiling of how well it came out, a real smile this time. hearing a voice call out your name, you turn around as your smile dropped, seeing someone who you didnt ever wanted to see. lee minho was his name.

it started as you two were young and in love with each other back in high school. you two we known as the toxic couple. not because you two were bad for each other, but because you did everything together: drugs, alcohol, getting high, sex, you name it. other than those, you two had another side of being soft. the romantic dates and the funny days shared.

the time you two hung out as best friends everyday, making everyone in school thinking you two were couples. the night where minho took you star gazing late at night after having a fight with your mom and ended up kissing you and asking you to be his one and only.

til your mom found out that you did drugs and drank underage because of minho. she forced you to break up with him and you felt like shit. you called him to meet you at the park you two always went to and left the house to go see him.

arriving at the park and sitting on a bench with the winter breeze around you in your light cardigan. feeling something on your shoulders made you feel tense til you smelled where the owner of the jacket is. lifting your head up, a tear fell from your eyes. minho’s eyes soften as he took a seat next to you and wiped the tear away.

“y/n, whats wrong love?” minho asked. “m-min, we need to break up”. minhos eyes widened from your sentence. “b-baby what happen? is everything okay at home? please tell me”. sighing and standing up as you took off minhos jacket off of your shoulders and gave it back to him. “just know that i still love you forever and always and we’ll meet in the next life” and left him.

minho sat there in shock, not knowing what just happened. it felt like a big part of him just left him.

the next week at school, you werent at your seat. you were nowhere found in school. you were just laying on your bed, feeling total shit. feeling nothing to do but just cry to sleep. your mom made you do online school to stop you from seeing minho and his friends. you phone made another noise as you sighed. looking up to see your phone on your nightstand, you see 44 missed calls and 64 messages from minho. tears falling down even more, you ended up falling asleep with a worried minho waiting for you at school.

and that was the last time you ever saw him, you first and last lover. his cousin, who was your best friend had kept in touch with you and told you what minho had done during the breakup. inhaling and consuming drugs, overdosing on drugs, drinking more and going crazy while yelling your name and wanting you to come back into his life.

minho eventually got over the breakup in a year. looking at the memories you gave him, he had the urge to call you names you didnt like him saying. his cousin passed by his room and heard him saying things you hated being called. knowing it was about you since his cousin had knew you before minho so of course you told her everything.

feeling hurt and angry about what she told you, you felt yourself growing apart from him. why still love him after he called you those names? you gave yourselft sometime to heal and feel better about yourself.

now here you are now 3 years later, visiting your dream city, france. you always wanted to come here when you and minho were a bit older but things didnt work out.

turning around after hearing minho called you, he ran over to you. looking at your figure, he can tell you lost too much weight but still had the perfect brown eyes with your hair recently dyed to light brown and your fashion senses that changed. only with you in a black top and baggy tan pants with black converse. god how much did he miss you.

a few minutes after not talking, you figured he just wanted your attention after he searched you everywhere in paris when his cousin gave him updates on you. walking away from him, he quickly grabbed your wrist. “y-y/n, can we please talk?” you made him let go of your wrist and continued walking to your hotel.

minho quickly ran in front of you and stopped you. “please y/n, what did i do wrong?” you sighed and looked up at him. “maybe if you werent so psycho, you wouldve known.”

minho stood there and thought of what happened. was it when you broke up with him? no, it couldnt be your fault. when he called you more than enough? no. when he was about to propose to you and run away with each other? no way. you two broke things before he could even ask.

‘shit’ he thought. it made him realize. he was too angry at some point and called you names that you hated being called and point out your insecurities. he knew someone was outside his door at the time.

facing back reality, he sees you still in front of him. “figured out now, mr lee minho?” you crossed your arms and a little smirk formed on your face. even after years, you still cant stop loving him. minho takes your hand and drags you to a park to lay under the sunset, watching to stars as it turns dark. remembering from your high school days.

laying down with you in minhos embrace, you whispered a ‘i love you’ to minho and fell asleep after missing the warmth of minho. minho, who smiled after you fell into your slumber and pulled you closer to him. “i love you too y/n”

a few hours, you woke up to nobody in the park but you and minho in the dark. noticing you were still in minhos arms, you got up and woke up minho. minho opened his eyes and saw your panic face. “minho, where are we?!”

minho was fully awake now. looking everywhere, he couldnt remember where or how he took you to this area. “god minho if you werent such a dumbass. youre lucky that my phone works fine here” you said as you gathered your stuff and grabbed minho’s hand, forcing him to get up and follow to directions on your phone to where your hotel was.

minho just smiled and walked close to you. “you havent changed a bit y/n” he says. you stopped walking and turned around which resulted minho bumping into you. “youre really asking for a slap are you?” minho quickly shook his head a no and you turned around and began walking again.

-

opening your door to your hotel room, minho was full in daze. everything was decorated beautiful just for a hotel suite, or thats what minho thought it was. “you can sleep on the couch here, ill be upstairs if you need anything” you said and head upstairs where your room was after giving him an extra toothbrush and toothpaste and other necessary items.

“wait y/n!” he calls your name and you turn around to walk downstairs. stopping at he last step of the stairs, minho walks towards you. “can you actually stay down here. i-i mean like so we can catch up on stuff like you know?” you knew he just wanted you to stay down here since he couldnt be alone.

“ya, youre just trying love me again arent you minho?” you joked as you poked him. minho scoffed and went to sit on the couch. “as if”. walking towards the couch and sitting next to minho, you lift your legs onto the ottoman. “im just joking min, of course ill stay here with you” you say to him and looked at him with a happy smile. minho smiles also after hearing you call out his nickname youll call him during your relationship.

hugging you waist, minho leans towards you as you get lost in his sparkling eyes. he lays you down and kisses your lips. at first, you wanted to pull away, but after missing his kisses, how could you resist it? 

a few weeks had gone by and you two had returned to korea as a couple again. another 3 weeks and you moved in with minho after getting kicked out when she found out you found minho. with no hesitation, you facetimed minho about what happened and let his loving girlfriend move in with him.

moving your belongs into his apartment, you felt nauseous. going to the toilet to release the sickness, minho puts down a box and runs over to your side after hearing disturbing noises from the bathroom. “baby, what happened? are you okay?” minho says and tries his best to comfort you while he lifts your hair into a ponytail so its not in the way. “i-i think im-”

tears started streaming down your face as thoughts ran past your brain. what if he doesnt want the baby? is it too early? were still in our early twenties. you were cut off by minho hugging you. “its okay baby. we can check and see in the morning. lets go head to bed, i already got the last box.” nodding your head, minho leads you to the bedroom with his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest, both slowly falling asleep.

waking up first thing in the morning, you turn and see minho still asleep. going to get ready to for the store. most importantly, for the pregnancy test.

-

walking back into the apartment, you immediately go to the bathroom and take the test. waiting for the test to give out the answer, minho wakes up to you not next to him. grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he goes to your contact and texts you.

my baby <3

where are u ?

hearing the familiar notification bell, he sighs as he realize you didnt take your phone with you. getting up, minho goes to the bathroom and sees you with the test in the palm of your hands. he goes up behind you and hugs you and to see the test come back with positive.

with the biggest smile on his face, minho turns you around to face him. “you dont know how happy i am y/n” “but minho, how are you not mad?” you pulled away from the hug with a confusion look on your face, “shhh, just pretend i wanted this to happen in the future when we dated.” minho back hugs you, facing the bathroom mirror.

you see minhos hands rubbing your stomach. “its been our dream to have kids and get married. and ta da!” turning yourself around, you hug minho at a better position. “thank you minho for loving me back and not leaving us, i love you so much”. minho leaned in and put his forehead on yours. “i love you more than you do baby” and gave you a loving peck.

END <3

yes another minho fic bc this was sitting in my drafts and i dont know where this was heading to hehe

[jackalopefreckles]

I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

[lifterandproud]

got caught at wawa after  a year

ok guys i need a little advice but first let me tell you about how it happened first my name is jordan and im 15 for a little intro but anyways my lil  brother was telling me he was hungry and me too was craving snacksi decided to go out to the wawa near my home it was a  1 minute walk lucky for me outside my house road there was a long street of stores so i had alot of store choices but i wasnt go to buy iwas going to lift duh so i rushed to the wawa because it was raining and i didnt wanna get wet so when i got in i did my usual routine i said hi to anyone i saw and made sure to fit it i also took my backpack btw i didnt want to be sus so i made sure to not rush to one place at once i was pretending to look at stuff but then decided it was time to do the move i went to the candy and snacks aisle and picked out some stuff for me and my brother after i found what i wanted i dropped everything and went to the bathroom to make sure the coast was clear no one there good i go back and take my candy and go in the bathroom luckily for me the bathroom was right next to the candy aisle so i went in the stall opened my bookbag and started putting the candy inside but then i heard someone come in i heard the guy on the phone and saw it was a black man i went on with packing my candy because people had came in the bathroom before while i was doing it and they didnt seem to care at all so i wasnt alert so i packed my candy and got out but then i was looking for more candy and i was waiting for the right time out of no where i see this big fat woman with a binder approach me and shes writing something she was a wawa accosiate something seemed wierd about her so i didnt greet her and went on acting like i was looking at stuff so i went in a aisle out of her view and put the candy away i wanted to get out of there but then she asked where did all that candy go im like its over there then the same man comes from the bathrrom and says let me check your bookbag i give him it and start thinking fuck im done now he takes out the candy and it turns out the man i was in the bathrrom with was the lp and the woman with the binder was the manager he takes me to the managers room we stand outside thereand he talks to me and is like why did you do it i just lie and say there was no food in the house and he gives me a talk i didnt really take him serious unfourtanely for me i always keep the stolen candy trash in my bookbag so there was 40 dollars worth of trash in my bag but luckily a nice man paid for it i was so grateful and i was unlucky cause i came right before the lp’s shift was over that explains why i never saw him there i guess they intend to have the lp there in the morning because thats when wawa is very busy we was having school on zoom for that day so i stayed home thats why i came earlier i skipped a zoom just to go there if i wouldve stayed on that zoom then i wouldve had better luck but i was very hungry and i just had to there was like 2 wawas near me one was near my house and one was on my way to school i confessed that i went to diffrent wawas to steal and they said anything thats from their store will ring on the scanner so i should tell the truth i wanted to yell i am you stupid bitch but they could call the police so i played cool they gave me the unopened candy cause the man had payed for everything and let me go because i was 15 i decided i wasnt gonna go there for a few months theres another wawa on my way to school i used to steal sandwiches from there evry school day so i wouldnt have to eat the yucky school breakfast but im kinda scared to go there i  kinda think that the wawa couldve called the other one and told them about me is that true or am i paranoid 

[wildtorres-a]

surprise, surprise.

WHAT? —  when drew finds lia outside of the torres household at an odd hour, he invites her in, and in turn receives some news that is sure to change both of their lives.

WHEN? —   saturday night, april 11th.

TRIGGERS? —  pregnancy, mention of drugs, mention of death.

FEATURING —  lia rosenburg ( @rosenburg-lia ), brief appearance of mike dallas ( @dallas-micheal )

i cant be pregnant, theres not a possibly way this shit is correct That was all that was going through Lias mind since the night prior. A very restless night of tossing and turning with dreams and nightmares of what was to come. One second dreaming about the perfect white picket fence life, Drew playing catch with their son in the yard. Amelia cooking in the kitchen with their daughter as the animals roamed around. The next her and Drew at each others throats, no ounce of happiness shining on either of their faces. Waking up and staring at the ceiling while she thought of every scenario her little brain could.

Thats how she found herself outside of the Torres residence, creeping down the side of the house. She knew better than to knock on the front door, it was almost midnight and the last thing she needed was Audra on her case for coming to her house so late. She cautiously knocked on the sliding glass door, hoping either Drew or Dallas heard her. Her body shaking, maybe from the frigid Canadian nights and her thin tracksuit. Or maybe it was the anxiety flowing through every ounce of her body as she continued to knock.

drew had alot on his mind, to say the least. he had just gotten back from edmonton a few hours prior, and all he wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. he didn’t have any more emotions to give for the night, was both physically and emotionally exhausted. he figured he’d talk to both omar and audra about alex the following day, and see if there was anything they could do to reunite the siblings. figuring that he could at least eat a bowl of cereal, being that he hadn't eaten anything all day, he started making his way down the steps and towards the kitchen.

it's only a few seconds later, that he hears the gentle knocks against the glass, and he raises his eyebrows in confusion at who it could be, especially at this time at night. he makes his way over, moving the curtain to see the girl he’d been thinking about since he got home, amongst all the chaos. quickly, he unlocks the door, opens it, and pulls her in. “lia, what are you doing here?” he questions, not unhappy to see her. “you’re freezing,” he comments, pulling his nike jacket off and draping it around her petite shoulders. “come on,” he grabs her hand, and leads her up to his room, forgetting about what he'd initially went downstairs for. thankful that everyone else is asleep, he closes the door before making his way over to her and connecting their lips.

she saw his figure as he came downstairs, even in the barely there lighting she could tell it was him. she wasnt sure what to expect, the last time she had laid eyes on him she slapped him. but she didnt know what else to do at this stage, she had already spoken to Vanessa, put it out into the universe. drew was her best friend once, she should be able to just talk to him about it, she hoped anyway.

Her face lit up, not that she was aware, or if drew had even noticed. But the second her eyes landed on his face, you could see something in her perk up. even with the hostility she held towards the boy at the moment, he always held a special place in her heart and it felt nice to see him again. "I needed to talk to you," She spoke softly, her eyes meeting his for a second, "thank you," sliding her arms through the jacket and tugging it around her petite frame. her eyes trail to their hands, a soft smile on her lips as she followed him to his room. Taking the brief second to look around before his lips were on hers. Almost forgetting the reason she came as she melted into it. A few minutes into the heated makeout session, it was like a spark in Lia as she pushed Drew away, "No, we need to talk," She spoke sharply, as if realizing she had made a mistake or something. She hadnt meant to come and hook up with Drew, that had been the furthest thing from her mind. "Plus someone said he wasnt good for me," She spoke with a pointed tone as she sat on his bed, tucking her legs into a pretzel shape.

the brunette had been trying to make sense of his thoughts about the girl he’d been trying to avoid for the past week. trying to decide if they had done the right thing that memorable night, if they ruined their friendship, in the right way or wrong. it was clear that the thought of her hadn’t left his mind, the feel of her lip gloss against his lips, how something as simple as her touch made him fill with warmth, the way her eyes shined when he made her laugh or smile. he’s not sure exactly what this entails, but there’s some part of him that’s kicking himself for not having seen this before. how was it possible that amelia rosenburg had been there all this time, and he was only now noticing how great she really was.

and suddenly he's so glad that she’s here. not even just for sex, now having noticed just how hard it was to stay away from her. wanting to text her every time he heard a funny joke, or came up with an idea for their next scheme, or just wanting to hear about her day. — and still, he liked her enough to keep his distance, she deserved far more than he could give her, everyone did. “i’m all ears,” he says once they're in the room. lips moving along with hers in sync, tongue slipping into her mouth, until suddenly she pulls away. still wanting to be near to her, he sits down beside her, and pulls her soft hand back into his, bringing her closer. “i think we’ve established that i’m an idiot,” he grins, before letting out a sigh, “but i’m not, good for you. still i have something to tell you,” he gazes into her eyes, “i wasn’t at a motel fucking some girl, i was… looking for my birth mom. she-” still has great difficulty uttering the words, and yet he swallows and tries again. “she overdosed about three months ago, and she left because she never wanted me,” hold backs the pain that washes over him, but can’t stop his jaw from clenching. “i thought about her for years, and she just didn't want me” the words fall from his lips slowly, taking it all in.

while lias feelings hadnt stayed the same about drew the whole friendship, she knew for certain he was a staple in her life. sophomore year lia wouldve been more than ecstatic to find out what had transpired between the teens. her feelings for the male at an all time high, something had been telling her that he had felt the same back then. only to find out he was with her cousin, and she was happy for them. but there was something about how easily he made things feel okay. made her feel happy with a simple text, if something happened in her day her first instinct was to send him a long snapchat about it.  spamming him with memes on hastygram, the little things they did for eachother. but now, things had changed, and all the feelings she pushed down, pushed away because she knew their happiness was important. they came bubbling up, the only thing circling her mind being drew torres, and what a lovely thought it was.

finding herself in his room, the air thick with several emotions, each more unknown than the last. but it felt okay, felt right to be there with him. suddenly realizing how much she needed him, he made the little things important. he knew her little quirks and habits, if there was a dog he had to point it out if she hadnt seen it already, so she could go pet it, and he became her photographer for it. he knew her coffee order like it was nothing, if they went out to eat he knew her order, knowing to get the tomatos out of all burgers or salads. he paid attention to the details, and it made lia feel cared for. by someone in her life, for something other than her body or connections. Shifting closer to the male, her hand wrapping around his,"Youve always been an idiot," she joked, shaking her head lightly, before resting it on his shoulder, "Youre great for me Drew, why cant you understand that?" She spoke softly, lifting her head as she turned to face him. Meeting his gaze, her thumb softly rubbing circles on the back of his hand as he spoke.

She listened as he spoke, letting him get out what he needed to. But she also didnt know what to say, she hadnt expected the words that had fallen from his lips. "Im sorry you had to find out the way you did, I cant even begin to imagine how that feels. Nor will I pretend to know how youre feeling right now," She spoke, knowing that would never be enough for him to hear. shuffling herself closer, wrapping herself around him in a hug. "But with that being said," She began, taking a deep breath, "Im sorry that she choose drugs over an amazing man with a heart of gold. Someone who looks for the best in people, and just wants to grow and become better. I know you dont see it, you see the bad. But god Drew, there is so much good," She spoke, glancing up to meet his gaze as she spoke. "Its her fault for choosing not to be a part of your life, her fault for choosing the substances over you. You can not put any blame on yourself baby, none of it is your fault," She spoke, not sure if he had even felt that way, but it felt right to say.

drew knew that this situation wasn’t the best, him having dated her cousin only a year earlier. had fallen in love quickly amongst the many late nights staying up on the phone, the many days spent either hanging with their larger group of friends or interesting dates, and getting to know each other’s each and every detail. it was unbelievable to think that just a few months ago, drew was venting to lia about tori’s all but expected disappearing act. they quickly become closer than they had when tori was present, drew often hanging out with lia when his thoughts became too much. and in those moments, although he hadn’t really noticed it, he stared to pick up on her details. not really giving it a second thought, he placed her on the same shelf that vanessa and becky were on, chalking her up as another best friend. now that things had drastically changed between them, he indeed knew it was messy to be romantically involved with both cousins, even more so them being as close as they are, and degrassi would have a field day when they catch wind of what’s been going on behind closed doors. but he can’t find himself to care, at least not enough to fully walk away. to put an end to whatever it is that they have going on, and tell her it couldn’t go any further, hoping things could go back to how they were. she’d been his rock all along. loyal and sweet and always there for him, wanting nothing in return but his company.

he grins at her remark, knowing that in a sense, she’s never really viewed him as an idiot, at least not the way he’s been labeled his whole life. finds solace under her touch. he shakes her head at her words, although some part of him wants to believe her. to believe that he’d do anybody good. but god, he ruins everything he touches. “because i’m not, lia,” he remarks, “i'm not as smart as the other guys. i mess up. i always say or do the wrong thing. you’re better off”

he finishes, holds his emotions in as well as he can, has already told himself that he wouldn’t drop another tear. and he draws a breath, and allows her to comfort him. doesn’t shy away or tell her that she’s wrong, just leans into her embrace, and lets her words sink in, having already shown her his vulnerability. can’t help the pull at his heart strings as she talks further, silently wondering what it was he'd done to get someone like her in his life. many girls have talked drew up, seeing only his features — sharp cheekbones, electric blue eyes, handsome face, and the rebellious personality to match. nothing any of them have ever said has effected him in the way she had right now, only speaking with raw emotion, her eyes telling it all. he cups her right cheek, slowly leaning in and giving her a kiss full of passion, not even attempting to slip his tongue in, more concerned with her getting a feel for the emotions he has stored for her. pulling away, he removes his hand. “thank you,” he smiles, weakly, but still there. “for everything. you’re seriously amazing,” he compliments. his mind going back to her initial statement, recalling the faint urgency in her voice as she pulled away from the first kiss he brought upon her lips. knows when something’s bothering her and is intrigued on what it is she has to tell him. “now, what did you need to tell me?” curiosity shining in blue hues.

it seemed like the world had been moving in fast forward the past couple of months, between the closest females in her life both leaving and coming back, her connection to both luke and drew growing over the course of them. while Luke would always hold a part of Lias heart, since they spent day in and day out with one another, drew captivated her. she just wanted to know if he was ok, that he felt cared for and wanted, chalking it up to being a good friend. But she also found herself wanting to just spend time with Drew, even if they were sat in silence, his presence was enough to make the dark seem light in her insane life. And maybe she knew there was always a thought in the back of her mind, the idea of something more. And if you were to tell her this time last year, that she'd find herself wrapped around Drew Torres  going to tell him she was pregnant, she'd label you as crazy.

She rolled her eyes at his words, "Im not as smart as the other girls, i tend to become a bitch if I dont get my way, i use money as a means of happiness when its not. My list could go on and on drew," She spoke, "We all have our issues, our flaws that we look in the mirror and point out. Or say to ourselves with that little voice. And I will be here to show you how amazing you are when it gets to loud," A smile sent his way, "I couldnt begin to imagine life without you Torres, so please dont try and leave it,"

his touch felt gentle on her skin, different than the other moments between them. this was something different, there was something laced in the kiss between both parties. but she still found herself sinking into it, feeling on top of the world at the feeling she got. something telling her everything would be ok. "I wouldnt say amazing, but ill always be here," A small shrug, before her eyes trained to a spot on the floor. Slowly unraveling herself from Drew, as she thought of what to say. Partially because through Drew unloading his story, she had semi forgotten why she had came there in the first place. How do you tell someone youre pregnant? Let alone the last person you ever thought would be in the position with you, and had just informed you of his own family problems, that he didnt need added to. Her fingers pulling and spinning the ring sat on her hand, her gaze unwavering from the pile of clothes sat on his floor. "Um," she began lightly, "I wasnt feeling all that well, and I had realized I missed my period," her fidgeting becoming faster as her mind worked over the words. Admitting them to Vanessa was different, vastly different than telling Drew. She glanced up briefly meeting his eyes before her gaze fell back to the floor, "So I headed to the little corner store from my place," A deep breath as she quietly, almost silently spoke, "The test came back positive drew,"

it was no secret that ever since he stepped foot, or wheel rather, back in toronto, his mind couldn’t find anything good to focus on. in the span of one night, he’d uncovered the reason his mother had left, uncovered that she had given up both her children, that he had a sister he’s never known about that was fifteen years old, adopted, and didn’t have a clue about her dysfunctional family, and the fact that he’d never receive the closure he’d been needing for so long. only having the words of her former boyfriend to go by. he hadn’t really expected to talk about it with anyone, forcing it down, and having the mindset of just going numb, avoiding the thoughts at all costs. and yet, found himself venting to lia the first chance he gets. something about her had always been so comforting, so understanding, and drew doesn’t think he could have felt better about opening up to anyone else. another part of him wanting her to know that she’s the only girl he’s been with sexually for weeks, hell, he hasn’t even been entertaining other girls, unread messages from his usual conquests building up in his phone.

as he hears her start to list her flaws, he frowns a bit, knowing that she’s only doing it because he had, to prove a point. but he can't help but hope she gives herself a little more credit than that. “i happen to think you’re perfect,” he comments, letting her continue, until there’s a bright smile on his face. realizing that in all of this mess, all of the bad thoughts, and words he hadn’t meant, and just attempting to dodge her in general had hurt her. the expression of pure sadness that flashed across her face when he pushed her away at the party, the smack she’d given him at school, he’d been stupid to think that it would last long, stupid to have ever started it. “i’m sorry,” he gets out, “for acting like an ass and pushing you away, you deserve better than that, and i want you in my life too” he gives her a charming smile, although his eyes shine with honesty.

this would be the fifth time he had been rendered speechless. the anticipation of what would end up leaving her lips, what happened to be so important that she’d made her way here in the middle of the night, a quarter to midnight. with it being so late, he feels she should just stay the night. audra had the day off tomorrow, and with his luck, she slept in till the afternoon, giving the two enough time to come up with the story that she’d come over earlier in the morning if she was still here by then. as lia moves away, drew can’t help the furrow of his eyebrows, and the assumption that whatever it was she’d say wouldn’t be something small. takes note of her timid actions, the way she doesn’t meet his eyes as she talks. and then the words ‘missed period’ sets an alarm off in his head. his eyes widening, along with the beat of his heart, as she continues. stops himself from asking ‘and?’ allowing her to go at his own pace. and his mind flashes back to that night, the rush of it all, the sensual touches, heavy breathing, and the lack of condom, as he spread her legs and lined himself up. too eager to feel all of her, he hadn’t even given it a second thought. and suddenly she’s saying the words he anticipated, and even though he had a feeling where this was going, it still catches him completely off guard. “i–” he starts, doesn’t finish, runs a hand through his hair, as he processes all of the information. “woah,” he breathes out, the words repeating in his mind over and over on a loop. meeting her eyes, he glances over her, can’t stop his eyes from trailing over her stomach. “it–it’s okay, are you okay? do you need some water, or some ice cream? cause i can run to the store,” he's rambling a mile a minute, still in partial shock.

Everything was easier with Drew around, she didnt have to act a certain way or put up any defensive barriers. she had never been one to open up to a lot of people and tell them her thoughts and feelings. let alone on a consistent basis if she did, choosing to pretend that everything was find and that she didnt have any. but with drew she would just talk about things, whatever came to mind she would share with him. knowing he would listen, maybe make a stupid comment, but hed listen. that was what she needed for so long, just someone to listen to her and show her she was cared for. that was part of what Drew did for her, made the dark seem a little lighter. she had felt herself pulling from the other guys in her life, even Luke who she had finally got where she thought she wanted him. but she found herself wanting drew, in more ways than one. but she didnt know how to articulate that to him, to explain what she wanted from whatever it was they had been doing.

"Perfect may be a bit of a stretch," she chuckled, "But go on," She teased, a matching smile coming to her face. she hated admitting her weaknesses, and when she couldnt hide her emotions from Drew at the party it was like a part of her exterior cracked. the walls she had formed between the two had been broken, and she realized she was back in love with him, or the idea of him for now. she didnt like the idea of a life without him in it, and hated feeling like she was disposable from his life. She didnt enjoy slapping him at school, but the petty bitch in her had taken over, and she was putting the walls back up piece by piece. hoping it wouldve helped her feel better, to work through what was happening, but it didnt. "I dont know why you did it, but Im sure you had your reasons," She shrugged, "But dont think Im gonna let it fly again. You are stuck with me Torres, learn to deal with it," She spoke, a smile spreading across her features as she sent a wink his way.

She didnt know how he would react, expecting anger, or confusion. maybe some accusations or denial. she wasnt positive if they had used a condom or not, she didnt remember seeing a single wrapper around the hotel room. and she sure hadnt brought any on their spontaneous trip, and she didnt think drew had either. when she saw the word pregnant on the stick, her world shifted. but she could remember the night clear as day, every touch, every breath, every word, and even the moment she felt him skin to skin in the most intimate way. she was nervous for his reaction, glancing at him with watchful eyes as he processed it. her hand running through her hair with a sigh, waiting for him to say something, put her at ease somehow. but she didnt expect him to ask her about food, her brows scrunching together as she looked up at him,"I...why would I want food? its damn near midnight?" She spoke, shaking her head, "Im like a couple weeks at best, there is no way im out here craving ice cream already dumbass," She spoke with an eye roll, a teasing tone on her voice however, as a smile played at her lips. "But thank you, the effort is appreciated and not unnoticed,"

it wasn’t difficult to see that drew had a lot on his plate, his eyes didn’t have that same spark it always had, he hadn’t been able to focus in his classes despite the fact that clare was definitely a huge help and he’d been showing improvement the week before. every time he closed his eyes, he seen rocky’s face, his cheeks upwards in glee, his heartwarming giggle, the way his face lit up when he would bring him some toys or pizza. and now, it had only gotten worse, and he would see his mother’s grave as well. the white roses he’d laid before her tombstone, as he said both hello and goodbye the only chance he was given. it also wasn’t hard to see that being around lia in their small moments had managed to do him some good. finding himself forming a warm smile, or chuckling at one of her jokes, taking him out of the dark he’d lately gotten used to. it wasn’t unusual, them being friends for years, and drew finding it very easy to unwind around her. but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been thinking about them in a romantic dynamic, and he'd be lying even more if he said he didn’t consider it, taking their friendship to the next level, giving them a try to see where it leads, despite the backlash he knows he’ll receive for dating both cousins who consider the other as a best friend, the same cousin he assumes is soundly asleep in the guest room four doors down. but they’ve gone too far in to stop now, the way he sees it, it makes more sense to go for it, even if right now isn’t exactly the best time. perhaps he’ll wait, doesn’t want to have to hide around the beginning of their relationship if they do decide to make something out of it, wait until all of the chaos simmers down, before he makes any big decisions. and yet, he can't stop the part of him that yearns to kiss her whenever she’s nearby and the scent of her perfume clouds his thoughts.

“it definitely isn’t,” he counters, can’t help how easy it is to play along with her words. and he’s only now noticing that she doesn’t have to try too hard when the roles are reversed either. he accepts her request, eyes locked on hers. “you're gorgeous, and you're smart whether it’s street or book wise, you always go out of your way to help your friends, you’re fun as hell, and i haven't been able to get you out of my mind the past few days.” the surprise on his face is evident, not meaning to actually voice the last part, but it’s too late to take it back now. he had always found lia attractive, and now that he thought back, he never considered her a sister figure like he had with maya or vanessa. finds it ironic that a year ago, he was lifting her chin up to remind her how great she was, and to not forget it, had a boy she was interested in not felt the same way back. now he was lifting her chin to place his lips on hers. oh, how the times have changed. bites his lower lip, doesn’t want to repeat his reasons, knows that it’s no good now, since he can’t seem to let go. “what, are you gonna smack me again? cause that was kind of hot” he smirks, sending her the wink right back.

he's not certain if there’s a set reaction for this, a right or wrong. he does however know that his lack of words isn’t exactly comforting, and when he does manage to find words, he’s not exactly proud of them either.  but god, he’s trying his best. hadn’t really expected to have this conversation, but isn't at all making it out to be negative, despite their mess of a situation. he’s not even thinking of it long term, his mind trying to grasp it fully, but he's got too many thoughts, making it difficult to focus on one. he mentally face palms, as his right hand goes to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “yeah, that was pretty dumb, wasn’t it?” he asks, evidently embarrassed. he lets out a breath, taking her hand in his, and making sure he has her full attention. “but it’s gonna be okay, i’m here for you…always.” he reassures, “i’ll take care of you and the baby, whatever you decide.” he kisses her cheek, bringing her onto his lap. “stay with me here tonight?” he pleads, as his hand hesitantly hovers over her stomach, his mind trying to imagine a human growing inside. “and we can set up a doctor’s appointment one of these upcoming days. it’s going to be alright, baby. it’s all going to be okay.” he repeats, kissing against her hair. he's not sure if he believes it himself, but he can only imagine how she feels and he'd be damned if he wasn’t going to try his best to make her feel at ease.

For as long as she could remember, Lia had problems expressing her feelings to others, even if they were good ones. Her parents would always brush her off or give her a, that’s wonderful sweetie, even when she was a toddler, crying in the doorway, her stuffed dolphin held firmly in her grasp. If she went to her siblings, they werent accepting of her feelings, her being the youngest she didnt have nearly as much to deal with. That she was a kid and they wouldnt last, over within ten minutes. But that all stuck with Lia as she got older, forming her connections in the world. Tori being the main person she could find herself getting lost in conversation with, going over all the details on certain topics. And then Drew came into her life, and she had another person to talk to, someone that made it easy to talk to. But anyone with two eyes could see how easily the two souls fit together, how simple it was for the two to just exist. Lia had known from a young age she thought of Drew as more of a friend. She remembered distinctly the day she realized she saw him differently, as someone she could see herself with romantically. It had been a rough day for her at her house, a fight with her parents having broken out once again, and Lia needed out. A text to Drew was sent, and within seconds he replied and they agreed to meet at the park. It was midnight. She had never experienced someone caring enough to risk their own ass just to make sure she was ok, and they were barely friends then. But it solidified Drew into her heart, and the feelings she once held were back in full force. But she wasnt gonna ruin what they had, she wasnt gonna let herself ruin the one good thing going for her, even if it wasnt entirely what she wanted. But the part of her that wanted nothing more than to be held and kissed by Drew was thriving, and loved every second of their life. She was scared for the future, with her feelings, but she was prepared to let Drew have them if he wanted them.

A shy smile broke across her face, his eyes filled with such honesty she couldnt help the blush that was rising to her face at his words. Her eyes widening slightly at the end of his statement, taking in the look of shock on his face, but his eyes still held with honestly, and a little something else that she couldnt place. “That makes two of us,” She spoke softly, biting her lip. “You remember that guy I was complaining about breaking my heart last year?” She questioned, her heart skipping a beat as she spoke. A surge of confidence flowing through her, even if for a brief moment she let herself believe that he felt the same. Smiling into the soft kiss he gave her, her hand resting on his leg. Simply needing to just touch him. “Well if someone didnt try and do stupid shit maybe I wouldnt have to,” She chuckled, “Glad to know Im hot when im angry,” a small shrug with a smirk on her lips.

She let him go at his own pace, contemplating just laying down while she waited, but decided against that. She knew he was trying, and that was all she could ask. The thoughts going through her head were impossible to process, she couldnt imagine being the one to have gotten the girl pregnant. “It wasnt dumb,” she spoke with a small head shake, “Its cute,” A small smile on her face, her eyes glancing at their hands before looking at him. Her eyes tearing up at his words, never having heard them with such sincerity before. Allowing herself to be brought into Drews lap, breathing in his scent, her body instantly relaxing into his. Realizing just how tired she was, having barely slept for the past week. Between worrying about Drew and her fight with Tori, and now this pregnancy. She needed a good nights rest. “I know you will baby,” A whisper as she kissed the base of his neck softly, “I want nothing more than to wake up in your arms tomorrow,” her sleep deprived brain not even processing her words. Her eyes glancing down to his hand. Softly pressing it against her stomach, her hand resting against his as her eyes futtered shut. Listening to him speak, and nodding along softly with his words, “Youre here,” She spoke, “You didnt push me away, or yell at me. Or accuse me of anything. Thats more than enough for me,”

he recalls his first time seeing her, the memory still being so vivid, despite the years that have passed by. she was degrassi’s new student and from what he heard, she was turning heads and had most of the student body doing double takes. he'd seen her in the midst of meeting the coach to talk about his slip up in grades, knowing that he would be able to persuade him easily since his latest grade point average weren’t too much lower than the required minimum. and when he finally spotted her in the hallways, he’d understood what all the fuss was about. he hadn’t been the type to stare, at least not too noticeably, but he just couldn’t look away. she was pretty, gorgeous even, and the outfit she was wearing only made her all the more alluring. the skirt she had on wasn't too short, but he remembers trailing up and down her legs. remembers that he had to turn himself away, had to remind himself what he even was walking this way for, having lost all train of thought. and by lunch time, he’d spotted her out of the crowd with a quickness. dallas settling down, tray in hand, following his gaze. remembers his eyes scrunching up in confusion when dallas tells him to not waste his time. and minutes later, it all makes sense when tori and vanessa come to the table, new girl following behind, and tori introduces everyone to her cousin who’d just transferred. he recalls the visible shock that seeps past his face, before he smiles, greets her, invites her to their table for the long run, and pulls tori into his lap, pecking her on the cheek. by the end of the week, they'd all made friends with the girl, and it was as if she’d been apart of the group all along. no signs of awkwardness or hesitation among the group. drew pushing the two second interest and attraction he'd developed for her to the back of his mind, until it was completely gone. and now he wonders, if it ever really left, or if he knew to just not act on them.

that makes two of us. doesn’t stop the smile that stretches across his face, the breath that emits out in relief. he’d only had a half theory that she reciprocated the feelings, but now that he knows he hadn’t been in the wrong whenever the thought of her passed his mind, he’s not so doubtful anymore about asking her to be his girlfriend. yet, he still doesn’t think tonight's the best time, not when there’s so much to process. his eyebrows furrow a bit, “yeah? the idiot who couldn’t see what was right in front of him? what about him?” he questions, eyes looking intently into hers, before he smirks along with her. “oh, hot doesn’t even begin to describe it. you’re sexy when you’re angry” he chuckles softly, not wanting any of the household’s other occupants to hear him.

he knows that everything has changed tonight, just like it had the night they’d let themselves act on their feelings, cross faded no doubt, but cross faded on each other. every touch from the other, feeling like another shot or another hit of the blunt. he smiles at her, reveling in the fact that she didn’t think he was the idiot he was convinced he was. she’d never thought he was dumb, in fact, or at least she never mentioned it. it was the small things like that he appreciated the most about her. the reason he’d always come running whenever she needed. “you’re cute,” he counters, as she settles in his lap, and he feels at ease. resting his head on hers, something about the way they just fit, making him fill with warmth. everything between them right now felt so gentle, filled with emotions instead of their usual sensual touches, hot and needy, and still he feels the fire, albeit a different kind, under his skin as she kisses him softly on the neck. and when she grabs his hand, and leads it to her stomach, laying hers atop, he knows they can get through this together. knows that he wants to try. “of course i’m here, you’re,” he corrects himself, “the both of you are all i need right now” and maybe he’s tired, exhausted even, but he can’t help the smile that spreads at the thought of a little family. he stands, holding her up, and gently laying her down on the bed. “let me get you something to wear so you can be comfortable, and i can put on netflix,” he says, as he makes his way to one of the drawers, getting one of his long t-shirts he knows will cover most of her body, and smiles at the thought. he doesn’t really plan on watching the movie or show, more-so planning on it being background sound while they cuddle. he turns the light off, before making his way back to the bed, and handing her the remote, letting her choose.

she remembers all the distinct moments in their relationship. The first look, their first time talking, the first time she called him because she just wanted to talk, and the list goes on. he made an impression on her, the first time she walked the halls of degrassi. She had just transferred to the school, asking her parents after her assault, begging to be closer to her cousin. she needed to get away from the places and people she had surrounded herself with. finally making the move, she was excited, ready to meet new people and create a new name for herself. walking in, her heels clicking on the tiles as she walked, a small smirk on her face as she saw the looks she received. always relishing in the attention she received, even if it wasnt good attention. she spotted drew before he had spotted her, spotting him as she came around the corner. standing by his locker with who she'd later learn were Dallas, Luke, and Dave. A wide smile on his face as he threw his head back in laughter. she remembered finding his smile beautiful, one of the ones you just always wanted to seen plastered on their face. but she didnt learn his name, didnt approach the group. instead continued watching from afar as she went to her locker, a smirk on her face when she saw drew watching her, the way he had to pause to think about his actions. and she certainly remembered the small twinge of jealousy she felt when she watched him pull her cousin on his lap when she had finally learned his name. but they clicked, she meshed with the whole group, creating a close bond with all of them. Drew being a stronger one than the others, and her feelings growing as the days went on. until she was informed he had asked Tori out, and she felt her heart break, but had no right. neither party knew of her feelings for the boy, and she had to watch as they fell in love, a part of her kicking herself for never saying anything.

A matching smile spreads across her face, a sense of relaxation washing over her. He felt the same, she knew that by the smile. Where it was gonna go from there she wasnt sure, she knew what she wanted. She wanted to be his, to be able to call him hers, and she hoped that was what he wanted at the end of this. Even if not right now, at least when they were both ready, or felt ready to go public given the backlash they were already facing. But her head couldnt stop swarming with the idea of being with Drew, in all aspects of life, and the smile kept growing. Before chuckling lightly, raising a brow at the raven haired boy across from her, “The idiot had fallen for my cousin,” She spoke, biting her lip softly, “But he was a sweetheart about the situation, not knowing who I was upset about, just being there for me anyway,” She shrugged, “Pretty cool guy,” Rolling her eyes playfully at his words, “Youd love to see me jealous then,”

in that moment, she knew that everything was okay. While everything changed, even more than they're cross faded escapade. it felt different, something washed over the both of them that night, and it wasnt going away anytime soon. while they're usual antics were rushed, and sexual. a fire in them both, just from a look. and her body still felt on fire, but it was different. she felt loved, safe, and secure. something she had never felt before, it was new for her, scary even. but Drew made it all seem okay, made every little thing better.  it gave her a sense of comfort, knowing that at a single text or call Drew would be there. in whatever shape or form he could fathom, she knew he would be. "we're both cute," she spoke with a small giggle, almost like she was a little kid with her crush again. a soft smile at his words, "the both of us," she repeated, feeling them fall off her tongue. the words still felt foreign. but it felt right in a way, being there with Drew, and talking about it. about a family, even if its not right now, she knew a family with Drew was in her future, somehow someway, she just felt it. she allows herself to be placed on the bed, a smile as she watches him before she slips from her track suit. immediately slipping the shirt over her head, slipping under the blanket, curling up into it. taking the remote and putting on shameless, more so for background noise, and if she did want to pay attention she wouldn't be lost. turning back towards Drew, a small smile on her face as she curled into him. her head on his chest, one of her legs stretching over his own. "thank you for being so great. I dont know what I did to deserve you, but I'm forever grateful."

there were evident bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’d gotten the past few nights. too much tossing and turning and contemplating the new information he’d gotten out of the tragic loss. was he even able to cry? to miss a touch that he couldn’t place. was it selfish? to mourn someone you didn’t really know. to mourn a loss you didn’t really take. at least, not in the way others had. he’d spent many a night turning on netflix, hoping to get some type of distraction, only for the appeal to fade, and the gears in his head would be at work again. he turned to weed, opening the window and spraying a huge amount of cologne, hoping the smell hadn’t left his room, and even then, it only made him think of it more. the thoughts never leaving, and he knows if he knew now would he hadn’t then, he would of stayed home and saved himself the heartache. he even thought to reach out to the other teenagers in the house, but decided against it, talking about it, made it real and he couldn’t relive it. couldn’t get through all of the details, scared that once he started, he’d never stop. there's a part of him that knows him telling her what he had, wasn’t enough to ease the pain, and he was still very much holding it all in, the pain will eventually build up, and drew will have no choice but to let it consume him. it’s inevitable. but she was here, and he was laughing and smiling, and that was as much as a fix he could ask for tonight.

he recalls the upset look on her face, having come to pick her up from her parent’s house, at an hour that audra would definitely not have been happy with, but he’d heard the tone of her voice, and it took all of three minutes to slip on a jacket, grab his car keys, and head out to the car. he remembers taking her to the park, him finding any way he could to make her laugh, as they sat on the swings, him giving her a push every now and again. and as the wind picked up, and it got later, he finally asked her what was bothering her, despite it being on his mind the whole time. remembers holding her hands in his face, telling her to never cry over a boy, especially not one who was dumb enough to let her pass by, his voice comforting and friendly, as he tells her all of her good qualities and that anyone who didn't see that wasn’t worth it. now that he was back in the room, and she'd said what she had, he was slowly connecting the dots. ”it was me?” his eyes widen only a little, as he thinks back to all of the times it'd just been the three of them hanging out, the others having something to do. and suddenly, he feels like the world’s biggest idiot. feels bad about all of the times they’ve kissed or hugged or any form of affection in front of her. but there’s a hint of happiness there too, and he knows it’s wrong, but their situation isn’t exactly the most innocent anyways. “it was me,” he repeats, more of a statement this time, before he surges forward and pulls her into a passionate kiss, pulling back breathless. “aw damn, guess i’ll never get to see it, since you’re the only girl i’ve got my eyes on” lips curling into a smile.

“damn right,” drew smirks, “just imagine how cute our kid will be,” he jokes. it's all still new to him, but he's processing it, albeit only being told mere minutes ago. he knows they’ll be eighteen around the corner, and even though legally they were to be adults, everyone would still deem it irresponsible. and audra, he didn’t even want to imagine her reaction. but things weren’t all bad, perhaps he’s looking through rose colored glasses, but despite the bad timing, he could see the upsides. the football that was supposed to be rocky's sitting atop his dresser, and he feels hope, hope that if he has a son, or a daughter, he’s not picky, that they can share a bond just as strong. that he won’t be a failure of a parent. perhaps this baby will turn his whole life around, motivate him to become a better man. and as they lay against the sheets, him having slipped in beside her, so that he was on the outside, her closer to the wall, his arm drapes around her, as he chuckles at the intro of the show, only having seen a couple episodes, because she'd wanted to watch it. he slips his fingers through her locks, hoping that it’s relaxing her. “shh, there’s no one else i’d rather be with” he answers simply, “now get some sleep baby”

"it was you," she confirmed with a small nod, a soft smile playing her lips as she watched Drews face. The look of shock, then confusion, the brief flash of guilt that made her brows scrunch for a moment before a small giggle as she kissed him back. holding both sides of his face, a wide grin on her face and her eyes shining with nothing but love for the man sat before her. "our kid will be the cutest," she spoke, pushing all the negative thoughts out of her mind. her families reaction, the doctors appointments, the perception people would have on them as teen parents, all of it being shoved away as she found herself enamored with Drew. her body melting into his as her eyes closed, a soft kiss placed to his chest before she fell asleep, nothing but joy sitting on her mind for once.

the next morning

Dallas stood in the kitchen, waiting for the cheese to melt over the egg before moving it to the toast he had ready. Laughing along with what Adam was saying, both having already devoured two sandwiches before the third brother even awoke. "Im telling you his bitch ass has a hangover. Ill bet money on that shit," He spoke with a chuckle, placing the egg on the bread. "Imma go wake his ass up, and he better be grateful for this shit," Shaking his head, making sure to turn the stove off before leaving the kitchen. Plate in hand as he roamed the halls of the Torres' home humming softly to himself before he found himself in front of Drews door. Laying a small knock on the door before twisting the knob, his eyes widening at the sight of limbs wrapped around one another. Not getting a glance at the females face before he grabbed the football off the dresser, making sure to only hit Drew as he sent it towards the pair. "Yo Torres," He hissed out.

it wasn’t long before the brunette too fell asleep, albeit it was only after she had. wanting to make sure that she was fully at ease, her mind not swirling with thoughts, keeping her awake as he lay beside her, hands still at play in her hair. and when he finally relaxes, turns the tv off with the remote, the room now completely dark, he closes his eyes and lets slumber overtake him. 

and just like he expected, it’s one of the best rests he’s managed this past week. can’t recall when exactly it was that he'd fallen asleep, but he smiles when he wakes up, the sight of lia on his chest, her still asleep, and him still half asleep. he pulls her closer, before closing his eyes once more and easily drifting back to sleep. eyes shoot open quickly when he feels the sudden contact, mind not registering until he’s already sitting up in bed. and when he looks over to see a confused dallas with a plate of food in his hand, he sighs in relief. knows he has to explain, but finds this to be a breeze, rather than if omar or audra had walked in and seen them. ”long story, but i’ll definitely explain later” he breathes out, as he stands, only to walk towards dallas and take the plate that’s evidently for him. “thanks,” he looks over to lia, who stirred a bit in her sleep, and then back to dallas, “now, how fucked am i?

[mocurlyshepard]

My Girl 2 | Curly Shepard

It had been about two months since Curly and Jimmy confronted each other and almost fought in front of what seemed like the whole Shepard Gang. It was extremely difficult for the two to avoid each other, being that they belonged to the same gang, so they saw each other as less as they could. You could see from afar that it was obvious both were suffering from both guilt and an unhealthy amount of anger. He hadn't been completely the same which was understood by her, she wouldn't be feeling too hot if it were her best friend crushing on him.

After a while Curly seemed to loosen up and tried to ignore the fact that him and Jimmy were at each other's neck with a broken friendship. He had been spending time focusing on building a new friendship with other members of the gang. So far, he had taken a liking to Ed. For some odd reason, Curly was drawn to people who were open with their intelligence. It was some sort of strange admiration.

"Are we gonna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Curly asked as he smoked what seemed to be is third or fourth cigarette.

She rolled her eyes at his indifferent tone and leaned over to grab the pack of cigarettes out his lap.

"About the fact that we saw Jimmy a few minutes ago." She points out.

Curly let's out a chuckle and it's obvious he's doing it make it seem like he isn't angry or hurt from the encounter. "He was pretty much eyefucking you from where he stood."

She tries to hold in a laugh from Curly's jealousy but just a glance from his turned up face sends her into a fit of giggles. Curly dramatically huffs and begins to shuffle down the street with his hands in his pockets.

"Aw, baby, come on." She laughs, getting up and jogging to match his speed. "Relax."

"I'm fine." he replies dryly, still walking but with no specific place in mind.

"I think you should talk to 'em." She blurts out which makes Curly look twice.

He hadn't thought about talking to Jimmy because most of the time he was thinking about punching his face. He thought he'd feel relieved after that, despite the fact that Tim told him he should just let it go because bad blood between the two of them would cause more harm than anything. Curly wasn't one to listen to Tims advice, not the first time at least.

"You think I should talk to him? Why? You fancy him or something?" he teases.

He flinched slightly once she punched him in the arm from the comment and then let out a laugh before slugging an arm around her.

"I don't wanna talk to him 'cus I'm still mad at him."

"Its been two months." She groans in annoyance.

She never wouldve thought that two best friends could be so petty. It was a sight to see.

"Well. The only reason why we haven't had it out yet is because of you, so,"

"How admirable." She says with a smile. Curly laughs slightly before leaning over and popping a kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah babe. You don't have to tell me what I already know."

Much to Curly's dismay, he had found himself talking to Jimmy much sooner than he intended and if he was being honest he wasn't anywhere near ready. He already had a sour feeling when he woke up that morning that just wouldn't shake no matter how many times he pulled on his cross necklace. It had been the day he had a job, nothing too interesting, just negotiating and pretty much being Tims cheerleader. After he had gotten back home to check the messages, he could barely read through Angelas messy script, saying that it was urgent and he should probably call y/n.

He did but her father answered, not too thrilled to be speaking to his daughters teenage convict boyfriend but nonetheless still notified and answered him. She went to school and fell out with pains in her stomach early before 12, thankfully, Jimmy had been close enough to take her to the nurse and take her home. Where she was resting now.

"I'm fine." She said once she saw him.

She looked tired, her pink blanket had been pulled up to her chin and her eyes occasionally closed. "I took too many aspirins and I didn't eat."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." He says with a genuine guilt.

She smiles lightly before squeezing his hand. "You wouldn't of known. Don't worry about it, handsome."

"You don't know how difficult it is being the attractive one in this relationship." Curly sighed before looking over and winking.

He left before 7 when her eyes began fluttering and her speech was getting slurred from being tired. He promised he'd see her the next day. He went to the diner to eat something, hoping to run into Angela or Tim but instead running into Jimmy. Surprisingly, the anger had subsided. He was still mad, however, he didn't feel like pushing him out a moving car. He was actually grateful.

"Can we talk?" Curly asked.

Jimmy nodded and they stepped outside, striking cigarettes and awkwardly standing in silence. It was a strange feeling standing next to him, they had once gotten in trouble because they couldn't stop talking to each other and now they were like two strangers.

"I'm sorry." Jimmy said, he looked to the ground before looking up at Curly. "I didn't want this to happen between us. Guess there's nothing I can really say."

Curly shuffled his feet awkwardly as Tims advice flowed through his head. Just let it go. "I ain't saying it's okay. I guess we would've been able to get over it if you hadn't lied but. I can't forgive you."

"Yeah. I knew you wouldn't be able to." Jimmy sighed.

Curly felt sick. Like he could double over and hurl in the trashcan at any moment. It felt like the worst thing in the world, ending something that meant so much to you. But knowing it had to be done. It was bittersweet.

"I thought about it but... You know we never kept anything from each other and this whole time you had loved her. I wouldn't of expected it from you, Jim."

Jimmy nodded and looked at his feet. "Just know I'm sorry." he said quietly, beginning to walk off.

"But Jim?" Curly called out quickly.

Jimmys back was turned and he figured it was easier to say what he needed to say. He might not have been able to do it if he looked at him.

"Thanks for looking out for her."

Jimmy didn't move for a few moments, but after a while he nodded slightly and smiled back at Curly before going off in a random direction. Curly stubbed his cigarette out and looked up towards the sky. What a crappy feeling, losing your best friend.

---

To the anon who suggested the reader to get jumped, I'm sorry I didn't do it that way but I just had difficulty with it because I don't think guys would be the one to do it and as for females, I think reader was respected for the most part. I hope this was okay :) I couldn't see Jimmy and Curly reconnecting because trust is significant with Curly, knowing this Jimmy still continued to break it. I ran it through a few scenarios and this one worked best!

@staygoldponebone @imsuch-a-cliche @mushrooms-iscat @shamlesscinnamonroll   @alphakelsey @leeb10111 @darrycurtisappreciation @ineedmorespaceee @friedturtlemongerthing @chibs-draws @onestrangehufflepuff @praisetheoutsiders @moviesandcocoa @unique05sstuff @steveandsoda @aph-potatoqueen

[blorbosexterminator]

AND THE BITCH IS BACK!!!! (Late, but, uhm, lets ignore it. Pretty please? ☺)

Alright, so the review of ep 23 aka Nada's age in 15 days (right?) is here, SO lets go :

Julia managed to get herself out of there and went home.

Parents right there, folks. Whether you are 14 or 40, this is what you feel after getting scolded.

Daniel lit a cigarette outside and just listened to Agata until she deemed it enough and hung up.

The himbo and La puta Ama, ladies and gentlemen 😆😆😆

Agatha calling someone? MISPLACED FEELINGS?! Damn, who is it?

(Me asking as if Idk its Alicia 😆😆😆😆😆)

Sergio : *sees Senor Ramos barging in*

Sergio to Sergio :

🎶Dont let him in,

You have to kick him out again🎶

(New Rules by Dua Lipa)

“Is it? This is what I’ve first done for your father and you know the body-count that ended up with.”

"I have as much blood on my hand as he did—”

“I’ve killed, terrified, terrorized and everything else you could imagine for him, Sergio. We were victims once, yes. But we’ve stopped being ones a long time ago, son. We’re as bad as the rest of them,” he paused. “I’ve done for you too as well, whatever it is that needs getting done"

Me and my dog :

Uh-oh, cats coming outta the bag folks 🤯🤯🤯

Still he needs to start ruling out. He needs to do something, anything or he’ll go insane.

😆😆😆😆😆 Senor Berrote actually starts Sherlocking 😆😆😆😆😆

“ When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?” — Sherlock Holmes

He’s truly, utterly, entirely, thoroughly and wholly fucked. 

Martín? Honey? Do you need to kill someone? Would you like some backup? I got some dumbells that you can yeet at someone, and snorkel to beat them to death with. Maybe, Sergio and Silene going to jail would cheer you up? Please let me know.

Look, Alberto's an asshole but he's good at his job.

and has had enough “meetings” with Arturo Roman,

Has found out that the man, the family and the entire corporation is sitting on a mountain of crimes in broad sunlight

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

NADAAAAA!!!! WHATS GOING ON?!

Oh thank God, Alberto isnt ahead of them.

It’s not him that Martín finds late at night, huffing up smoke in the dark room, staring at the goddamn vase as if he looks at it enough a projection would come out of it and show him what happened.

Oh my poor sweet angel 😟 Aww baby, I wish I could stop your suffering, but SOMEONE (looking at you Sergio) doesnt like my boy happy.

As soon as she sees him she freezes in place. Martín doesn’t look up.

And the root of all mess is back 😡😡😡😡😡

“How is it that every time you run away you find your way back here again?” he asks, staring at his glass, “I’m starting to suspect you like us, Silene, what is it? You’re those sort of women, eh? Like things a little painful,” he laughs, “or maybe you’ve grown tired of Sergio and want new parents,” he hiccuped, “plausible, I’d grow tired of him too, but we’re not opening for adoption right now.”

I laughed, cried and cringed at the same time.

“I don’t fucking know, Silene, why don’t you tell me? No, really, go ahead and fucking tell me anything, any fucking suggestion will be considered now.”

Doesnt it seem like Martín said way too many fucks rn? Jokes apart, my boy is really frustrated and desperate to the point he'll consider anything rn 😟

“We have to get hi—them back, we have to find out who did this. I think it’s Raquel.”

Just as it happens in the unlikeliest and most inappropriate of times, Martín found himself laughing. “What did the woman do to you, hm? Are you really that jealous of him having another woman in his life,” he snorted, “three at that,” he shrugged.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BURRRRNNN SILENE. GO TO ANTARTICA TO HEAL THAT BURN. MY DARLING PREACHING FACTS. 👏👏👏👏👏👏 I am so proud of you.

Also, without context, it seems like Sergio's got a foursome kink 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Oh, Silene, if I didn’t care about those I love, you’d have been dead the second I saw you in my home.”

See Silene? If he didnt care bout you, he wouldve boom boom ciaoed you outta this world.

“How are we gonna find them?” She turns to him. And when he meets her eyes, he find in them the same fear eating away at his heart like Prometheus' eagle.

Okay, just for this once Silene is slightly, okay, SLIGHTLY redeemed in my eyes.

You're forgiven. (lol jk. I'm the one answering late, sorry)

Yup. (well 14 now I guess.)

Truee. It's never fun, is it? Even for us adults.

I've neglected them but thay have my heart.

Is it Alicia? Could be. Could be not. Who knows.

Haha, perfect song for the occasion.

See? I did promise rewards for your patience. (also love how your dog's reactions are always included. I constantly look forward to his approval)

The poor dude has no idea what he's doing. But Sherlocking it is. Good quote, but the answer is no. You shouldn't eliminate the impossible.

Your support of Martín astonishes me, he'd love you. He honestly does need your snorkels at this point. He's d e s p e r a t e.

He is actually. (like in canon, he was super good as well. Sergio would have really failed at day 3 had it not been for Raquel lmfao)

So many things, Kal, so many things.

Afhausbshsh Sergio didn't even do anything now. They are both suffering, which is good.

Have you missed her?

So happy to cause so many emotions agsbgs.

He did. Way too many fucks in one sentence, but he is super duper disperate and frustrated. Love seeing him like that.

Super valid. Tokyo couldn't handle not being Sergio's darling favourite anymore (lmfao she is)

Agsnjshsvshs oh god, Sergio out of all people.

True, Martín was really ready to shoot her brains out in that first episode.

So glad because honestly same, she is really scared for Anibal as well.

Thank you again and again Kal. Happy to see you here as always!

[your-fantasy-alive]

Tongue Technology- Suga *Attempted Smut*

" I don't really see what the big deal is about when you talk about music. " you said as you both are sitting in his studio. " Im sure you dont jagi but I want you to know that this is what I do for a living so you must accept it. Besides, if I wasnt doing music, we would have never met." Yoongi said as he works on his laptop. " Yeah, but....... We would have found eachother one way or another. It is called destiny." " Hmmm, never met her before.. What is she like?" he says, trying to joke around. " Stop babe, you are always trying to make jokes about us like we aren't important to you." He then slowly turned to face you with this look of suprise. " What are you talking about? I never make serious jokes about us. Why can't you just take a joke? Better yet, if you feel like I don't take us seriously then why are you still with me? " he said, with the most serious tone you have ever heard from him. " Im still here because I love you. Maybe you should ask yourself why are you still here." you exclaimed as you tried so hard to keep your anger in. He then stood up and made his way to the door. " Maybe I should. I'll see you later. " he said then walked out. You stare at the door for a while just wondering how this even happend in the short conversation that you were having together. " Fine, if thats how you feel, lets see how you feel when your music if not there anymore." You exclaimed as you went through his laptop and erased all of the music that he created in his studio. Once done, you grabbed your purse and left the room.

On your way out, J hope stopped you. " Hey, is everything okay because hyung left out looking really angry. " " Everything is fine J, we just got into a little argument. We'll be fine by tomorrow night." you said with a smirk on your face. ".....What did you do?" he asked , picking up on your strange aura. " Don't busy yourself over small things boo. I'll see you later!" you said, as you left their dorm.

Hopefully he takes the bait ........ ************** You were at home in your bed trying to go to sleep when someine starts banging on your door. What the fuck? Who is that?! You get out if your bed and wrap yourself in a robe as you make your way down the stairs and to your door/ BANG BANG BANG " Hold Up!" you shout over the noise. You then open the door nd there stands Yoongi, soaked by the rain. " What the hell yoongi. Why are you outside while its raining?" you said, pulling him inside trying to get him warm as fast as possible. " It didn't start to rain until after I had made it a couple of blocks from my house. BUt, Im out because I need some where to go so that I can take my mind off of stuff. " " Oh its okay, I was just laying down because I have to be somewhere in the morning. " you said, walking away to find him some clothes the put on. " Where do you have to be? Its a saturday." he said " I have to go visit my parents tomorrow for their wedding anniversary." you said, once you were back with his pajamas. " When you are done changing you can come up and lay down. Im going to sleep." you said as you go back towards the stairs. ****************** You had been laying down for 30 minutes trying to see how long it would take him to actually walk up the stairs. I wonder if he figured out what I did to his music yet. Maybe-- " Sorry I was taking so long, I was just trying to mentally prepare myself." " Mentally prepare yourself? For what?" You asked as you gaze into his eyes. In that moment you realized something. He Knew " Just wondering about some things. Do you want to know what those things are?" he said as he slowly made his way towards the bed. " Sure, tell me what on your mind." you said " Whats on my mind is the fact that you think you can get away with erasing all of my fucking music off my laptop. Do you know how fucking hard i worked on those songs?!" he said, voice deadly. " Hmmm, I don't seem to care now do i?" you said. He then proceeded to walk up to you and pull the convers off. " You will baby girl." He then gripped you your leg and flipped you over so you were on your front. " Maybe if I gave you a nice spanking you ouldn't be so bad jago, what do you think?" he asked , as he starts to rub your butt. " mmm maybe" you said as you arched your back, making your ass curve into his hand just right.

The first hit was unexpected as it was aimed towards the center of your right cheek. The sting of the hit alone brought this feeling of home and pleasure that had your insides slowly curling. Then came the next three hits in the same spot, making you squek out by the rapid sucession of the hits. " Baby, does this feel good to you?" he asked, as he delievered another hit, this time to the left chek. " yes... baby. it feels great" you said, arching more and more to get his hard to cover all of you. " More baby, " you said, breathlessly " awe, my little girl wants more? Ask nicely baby girl" he said, slowly spanking you harder and faster. " Please baby, more. Give me more." you started to whine. After hearing your whine, he then picked up more speed and started assulting your ass with hits. He was hitting you so hard and fast that It started to feel like ne complete slap. " oh.. baby... please." you moaned He then turned you over and stared at you . " Do you think you have any say in anything? No" he said. He then slowly lifts your pajama dress and he gazes hungrily at your vagina covered by you pretty grey lace underwear. " O just want you to know something, you might not make it to the anniversary thing on time tomorrow." he said He then leans over and sucks on you through your underwear creating a warm sensationthroughout your bady. " Fuck.. baby" He then chuckles and slowly pulls down your underwear. the entire time, you are panting, hoping this goes where you want it to. Once your underwear are off, he pushes you legs apart and just stares at your vagina. " Stop staring and do something" you whined, squirming in his hold He then gets comfortable on his front and blows along your lips, sending shivers along your spine. " Look at my baby girl, ou look so pretty. " he said, running his nose along your vagina lips " Please baby, stop playing around. " you moaned into the air He then slowly leans down and starts to slowly lick at your clit rhythmically, causing you to slowly lose breath. He moans in the back of his thoat and surges foward to get a better and and attacks your clit with licks,sucks , and random vibrations " MMM yoongi, fuck.. if feeels soo fucking good" you cried out " Does it baby?" he pulled away to ask Then he lowered his head towards your opening and extended his tongue until it was all the way in " FUCK YOONGI" you screamed He then started to spear his tongue in and out of you as he massaged your clit with his thumb. The entire time, keeping eye contact with you, making you even more hot then you already were. " I can't yoongi... " yu said, trying to warn his that your orgasm was on its way. " Squeeze my hand when you're really close" he said, continuing his administrations As your orgasm built up, you could feel your body start to quake from the pleasure YOu then squeezed his hand and.... he stopped moving completely. " Nooo." you whined " Did you forget that this was still a punishment baby girl?" he asked you, rubbing yoru thighs, trying t help you calm dwn Once he felt like you were calm enough, he went back to slowly building you back up. *********** It had already been 5 hours of building you up just to stop and at this point, you couldn't take anymore " DOn't stop again baby. Im sorry. I wont delete your music again" you pleaded , feeling your body slowly build back up " mmmm" he hummed back, speedunf up his hands and tongue " Baby... baby... fuck... oh go.." you said, slowly falling over th edge again to have him stop once more. " NOOOOO" you exclaimed, and this time, you felt tears prick your eyes "Are you crying baby girl?" he asked " No" you said, turnign your head trying to hide your tears . "Fuck thats so fucking hot" he says as he lays back down and eats you out with an entire new wave of lust. Seeing you crying from frustrastion mde him feel so fucking good. It made him feel in control. He assulted your vagina with vibraations and licks that had your back arching off the bed. "YOONGIIIIIIIIIIIIII" you cry as you finally come, seeing white *************** You don't know how long it had been since you passed out but you turned over and you see yoongi spooning you. Maybe I should delete his music more often "Do it again and I will make sure that I make you last for more than 5 hours. Try me. Youre lucky all my music saves to different places simultaneously otherwise it wouldve been worse. Now go to sleep, you have to be up in 2 and a half hours" he said, then kissed you in the back of your neck. " Night Baby girl" "Night Baby"

[unrrrreliable]

alcoholic dad

i found out that my dad is an alcoholic. he has been one for 20 years. my fathers story is very complex, but basically when he was in his mid 20s he got punched in the face in the middle of a train and his brain got “slightly” damaged (as in he didnt fucking die). his frontal lobe got kinda messed up, so he makes a lot of actions impulsively . and he’s reaaaallly bad at managing stuff like money and planning stuff like trips. for example, if you tell him to buy 1L of milk in the grocery store he’ll buy 3. because of that, my mom always makes the decisions, thay always have to pay the bills together and my mom needs to check if he isnt “wasting” any money as in giving it to the church (which doesnt need any money at all since we’re in fucking switzerland and the government funds the church). theres some stuff we dont know if he already had or if it was caused by that accident. nonetheless, my dad only told that to my mom when she was pregnant with me, the youngest of 2 children. of course, my mom couldnt just leave. she said, if he had said that before my brother and i were born, she would’ve left him. honsetly, i cant judge her, because he is disabled, kind of, so it would be really hard to build up a family with such a person (spoiler alert - it was). my dad is also really detatched from the world, like he lives in his own world. sometimes, when i was 1-3 and my brother 3-6, he would just leave the house with 0 warning and stay out for 7 hours without answering the phone. obviously, my mom would panic because she’d always think something bad happened to him but then, at the end of the day (literally), he would come back as if nothing had happened. he would do that constantly. until we moved out to brazil. this happened in 2007. i was 3, my brother 6. life there was really nice: my brother and i started kindergarten and prmary school, my mom was studying to make an exam which would allow her to work for some kind of fbi (receita federal). it was a really good job with a high salary, but she had to study hours a day. my dad was making a phd in something in germany but living in brazil. side note: he didnt put any effort to learn portuguese, search a job in brazil, anything. that was his passive-aggressive way to tell my mom that he didnt want to live in brazil and he wanted us to come back to switzerland. in 2010, after hours of hard work and study, my mom passed the exam and could work in rf. but then, my dad was  depressed and said he wanted us to come back to switzerland. my mom says he wasnt actually depressed. honestly, depressed or not, he shouldnt have used that as an excuse to take us out of there and my mom after she had put on so much time to study for that exam. basically he didnt give a fuck about her. i feel really bad writing this because my mom really studied a lot and she wouldve been an excelent professional. flash forward, we move back to switzerland, this time in the italian part. my mom says she wanted to come here because of the language and because in this city theres a mountain that looks like pão de açúcar (sugar bread or whatever its called - that one in rio). obviously its not because of that, i assume its because she just didnt want to live in the german part since she was very discriminated and that lead to her hating the language and just the energy. and of course he didnt do anything to defend her. so we move here and my mom gets depression. i dont remember much of her being depressed, but i vividly remember calling her to watch some “family movies” but she would never come because she was in her room, precisely in her bed, depressed. she would sometimes sleep until midday, but since i was like 7 i didnt really mind or be worried. neither did my brother. side note: my dad is a really weak person: he doesnt tell what he thinks in your face, he has to drink to have the courage to tell my mom something when he’s angry at her. i think thats one of the worst things a man can do to their women, especially my mom, since her dad was an alcoholic. she tells me when she was 4 she used to be extremely afraid and embarassed of her father, and she doesnt remember him being sober. when she was 13 he eventually died and she and her siblings had to take care of the bills. long story short, she absolutely despised men who drank, and thats exactly what my dad did. of course he knew it btw. everytime he drank my mother would hide it, and in send him immediately to their room or just not argue with him. but one time, in summer, my brother was at a summer camp and i was at home with my mom. my dad came home drunk and i dont remmeber much but they started arguing. he wasnt aggressive at all but he was just talking nonsense and lock himself in the bathroom and cried? i dont know. i just remember him making wierd noises. anyways, my mom sent me to my friends house and i was really happy lol. that day, my mom was fed tf up, so she decided that the 3 of us would move back to brazil and my dad would stay here and visit us once in a while. once or twice a month. this was in 2013. from 2013 until 2017, we lived our best life. my dad would send the money from switzerland to brazil and it would multiply by 4 more or less since the dollar was pretty high, so it converted to the brazilian currency. we would eat out at restaurants every week, my mom would buy clothes every week (not too much because she knows how to control herself and she never buys what she doesnt need), have pilates lessons, have coffees with her friends, we would have lunch and dinner with our relatives. we were at home. my mom was at home, at her hometown. my dad would come visit us once every month. everything was going pretty good. of course we had problems, especially my brother, who struggled a lot in school since in brazil you have much more stuff to study and school is genuinely harder. in 2016, brazil’s president dilma rousseff got impeached and my mom already knew the political situation was only starting to go downhill. also, she didnt want my brother and i to do highschool there, so we came back to switzerland in january 2017. in the beginning, it was pretty shit for me and my brother, my class was shit and my classmates were a bunch of idiots. but at least i had some friends. things were going ok. once in a while my dad would come home with a wierd facial expression, talking a lot of nonsense and making random speeches but i would think nothiung of it, he probably just had a tiring day. flash forward to 2019, my dad is like that again, this time my mom actually tells us he drank. we are a little worried, but he’s not acting up or whatever, problem is, he drank some hours before we went to the aparmtment we were going to rent (in which we’re living right now). of course, he drank on purpose because he knew it would piss my mom off and she would be embarassed, but he doesnt give a fuck. thats his way of telling her he’s angry at her for whatever reason. flash forward to some weeks ago, july 2020, my dad drinks again. now, we already know thast he *sometimes* drinks, so were like “ffs he drank again”. but this time its a little different: my mom actually argues with him. they start a discussion because my mom was pissed that he was constantly drinking and said that she would leave him if he could, so he went outside and drank. anyways, they were arguing and then my dad started crying and slammed the door. we went there to try to talk to him, but as soon as my mom opened the door he pushed her using actual strength. if she hadnt had both of her feet stable on the ground, she wouldve fallen and probably hurt herself. he then proceeded to push me but i yelled back at him. i could feel the anger in his voice and how he pushed us. he slammed the door again and threw himself onto the bed face down and started loudly crying, it was just awful. my brother and i went to the kitchen and my mom told us to go there and try tzo talk to him. my brother sat on the bed and i laid against the door. my brother was trying to talk to him and i was cringing really hard. 

[scoopsohboi]

im about to get into it so if you don’t want literally all my personal baggage please scroll on. 

this is longer than i planned oh god im sorry.

i honestly dont know what to do anymore. all ive ever wanted was fucking peace but some people love to argue and push people and find it fun. my sister and i never got along as kids but i would try so damn hard to be on her good side because shes four years older and everyone always thinks shes funny. but shes so rude. shes loves to put people down and her favorite damn thing is being right, or at least winning. 

but shes my sister, and the only one i have, and all ive ever wanted was someone i could look up to. someone i could tell everything to and someone who would be there for me when i needed someone. 

she was, sometimes, but her grains of sweetness are always wiped clean with her tidal waves of negativity. 

she’d tell me the things i liked were dumb and boyish, trying to make me feel bad about the fact that i wore graphic shirts and no makeup. my lack of relationships and the few i actually did have.

i used to be so extroverted and outgoing as a child. i was goofy and unapologetic and open. but she made me feel ashamed for having opinions. for having thoughts. everything i did was wrong and all i wanted was to be accepted. 

so it continued. 

and i would swallow everything i thought and tried to be more like her because at the end of the day it was still us in this house. and i would hate myself for some of our conversations. i would hate everything. but she would actually talk to me. and we would shop together. and when she moved out there were sleepovers and cooking and laughter. it wasn’t how id always wanted, but i finally had a relationship with her. 

it was ongoing. 

she got married to a man with similar ideals and though i tried to stay close to them, the things they said never changed and i couldn’t keep ignoring it. the racist and bigoted comments. the political views being shoved down my throat at every turn.

so we had a big fight. an ugly fight. id never risen my voice before that moment and i never have since. i loath yelling but god this woman pushed me farther than she ever had before. we were screaming. i pleaded for it to stop as she said i was free to leave. so i left.

ive been unable to be intimate with anyone because i cant share that part of myself with them. i cant stay in a relationship because more often than not im too in my own head, unable to make myself say the most basic opinions and thoughts because im ashamed to even exist. 

i started to fall into depression in eighth grade(07). she moved out when i was a freshman(08). got married a year after i graduated(2013). i moved to la for college three years later(2016). a few months later, she asks me if im gay and i come out to her as bi. a few months later our big screaming fight. 

then they try to move to georgia, shitty things happen to them, and theyre back a few months later, moving into my bedroom at my parents house. i now sleep in my dads home office. i start spending as little time at home as possible and only stop by for a weekend every month despite being only a couple hrs away by car. 

ff to march of this year. i just got my bachelors degree and mainly live back home. they have a baby. they make a big deal out of how they don’t like my brother-in-law’s mom, and how his family can be psycho. my sister says at the babyshower she doesn’t want people to suddenly be nice to them because theyre having a baby. so i dont. i keep cordial and polite, but not “Friendly.”

so my nephew is born. hes perfect and beautiful and i love him so damn much. but she tells me she doesnt see it from me. that i dont care. that i dont want to be in his life. weeks pass of me crying because i cant get to know my nephew and she just gives me looks every time im in the room. 

then we have a talk. an understanding it seems. and she wants me in his life. hallelujah. 

but thats not the end. i dont know i ever thought it would be. 

i tried to be friendly. to ask her about him every morning. to play with him. she was having me help her feed him and it was great. but then her husband cornered me. asking me one night a few months back why i “dont like to him like i used to” (waaay back in 2012). hes hurt, and i can see he doesnt get it. so i explain calmly that i dont want all the negative conversations. that i dont think like them and thats okay but i dont want their republican bs in my face. and this dude has the nerve to tell me hes open minded as shit and that i need to be more like him. that he hasnt changed and that he never forces his views on anyone. 

i was truly shook. 

i told him firmly that i needed space.

so its been awkward to say the least. we don’t really talk. my sister is different every day. i ways say ‘good morning’ to her, but most of the time she turns to look at me, then just looks back at her son without a word. i lock myself in my bedroom until about 9pm everyday, only coming out to use the bathroom or get food. 

i feel like less than a person. i want to be able to talk to my parents but every time she hears someones voice in the house she has to run out with her baby and have it be all about her and i really dont fucking get it. 

tonight she blew up on me because i was cleaning up after her cats (getting nasty vomit on my hands), and she was standing in the walkway with her son and i was having to dodge them with disgusting hands like bruh, move? and then she said i was slamming doors (hello nasty ass fucking hands??!?) and how she couldve cleaned it and how i shouldnt be mad. like....

you wouldnt have cleaned it? or you wouldve been doing it already?

and she said i wake up my nephew every day slamming doors. like girl. i stay in my damn room until yall go to sleep. i stay out of your life. i dont make much noise during the night. her son does wake up every night at 11-11:30, not my fault though. and she wakes up at like 7am and plays with him right outside my door so, bitsh, you wake me up everyday??

im just really fucking sick of this house and this family and this existence.

ive been hella depressed since february when a friend of mine got into a really bad breakup and almost died. i spiralled down trying to lift him up and now im still down in it and hes no where to be found. ive started cutting again. not often but when it gets too hard to handle. 

i just wish i had people to hold me when i feel like its all too much.

i wish the people i cared about cared more about me.  

[aesthetic-yehet]

I wish I never got an abortion..

Hey whoever reads this..

It may help you or someone else, you may even feel like this doesnt apply to you, but I just have to get it off my chest. I will go over my story and things girls in my previous situation really shouldn't do and what you should :)

My circumstances were at the time was, I was 16, had no qualifications, didnt have any type of job or type of income towards my name. I was dependant on my mother. I was also a very reckless person. Fucking whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted, doing things I shoudn't of. But on the other side of things I was very good academically and had a fairly good amount of friends.

Obviously I got pregnant...briefly after my 16th birthday..lol. I had a feeling I was pregnant 2 days before my period started, I told the guy and he was like dont say that, dont worry about it too much your period will come. Next thing you know, 2 weeks later my friend steals 3 pregnancy tests for me and they all come out positive.

So Im like fuuuuucckk on the inside, but on the outside I was extremely calm, it was a bit worrying to others. So I called my cousin after and I told her my situation. I feel like people would question why not tell my mum. Well one shes black, two shes come from an extremely strict Caribbean background, so they way she approaches situations is not really to my liking. (I would basically shit myself and I know I would get kicked out if I had any guts to tell her). My cousin and I then the two days after went to a hospital and finally confirmed I was pregnant. Funny fact: When I went to the hospital, well the clinic part of it, the "guy" was there, not like as if he knew it was just a coincidence that we ended sitting in the same waiting room.

I discussed with my cousin at first about what I was going to do. I was certain that I was going to keep the baby. I hated abortions with a passion. How hypocritical of me. I am against abortions but thats for me, that my personal opinion. It doesnt mean that I hate other people that do it, they can go ahead its none of my business. But for me it never really sat well, I didnt like the idea of it. And neither did my cousin. She said she was going to support me and help me get temporary accomadation if I was to get kicked out. I was going to research to continue onwards with further educations alongside having a child at a very young age. You know the whole dingle-bingle.

later that night, I called the "guy" and I told him straight up. And at first he was ok with it. He was like hes not going to force me to do anything and he left it at that. So I was a bit relieved that he said that instead of saying get rid of it. Considering the other reactions to similar situations, the boys I know, they'd straight up get theyre niggas and beat the girl to the pulp to kill the baby. And really and truly that "guy" was extremely capable of doing that but he chose not to.

So a few days pass and I'm really happy but worried at the same time. I had told certain friends, which led to my whole school knowing. One thing that shouldnt be done no matter hooooow big mouthed you are. Dont fucking trust anyone because...just no. So that really wasnt comfortable with me. People asking questions, it was very overwhelming. Plus at the same time dealing with my depression and anxiety, it just didnt add up well. Definitely one sitaution a pregnant women shouldnt go through.

So..later after school finished. Im at home and the guy calls pissed because everyone knew. And everyone could connect it back to him because we had a history. Like everyone had an idea that we was fucking. I feel like it was embarassing for him because he was in Year 13 and I was in Year 11. So then I was apologetic for opening my mouth to certain people that I had trusted. So he then continued onwards to saying "I think you should get the abortion." I was so gutted but I was also thinking about it. He proceeded to explain that he again wasnt forcing me but he was presenting me the situation on both sides of the spectrum. For both me and him. He explained that for me, It wouldve been hard to do my gcses because I wouldve been atleast 5 months, I would probably get kicked out, my life would come to a halt as I would need to take care of a baby, I wouldnt be able to pursue a career I wanted because of the huge responsibility. For him, the fact that he was from a muslim background wouldve make his family put him to shame once they found out and either way regardless if he didnt want to look after the baby he'd have to. I then told him that I dont need him. Considering my background of not really having a father figure I definitely felt like I could look after a baby on my own. He proceeded to say that he'd need to support me plus going to uni. But then again he said hes not going to force me. At this point if I was to put it into a percentage Abortion 5% / Keep the baby 95%

After that talk, talks with him got more frequent as he tried to persuade me to get an abortion. He told me bout single mothers at my age that are addicted to drugs and consdiering where we lived it wasnt a good area to bring up a baby. He told me about how he sees so much potential in me and that this situation would just stop it and distract me from becoming successful. And I completely understood where he was coming from. I wasnt going to be irrational and refuse to listen to his arguements. I then thought about it to myself and I just reached the decision that because he made more sense I would get the abortion. I mean how would I support myself and a child, provide food and shelter and continue in education. It all seemed impossible to me. But then there was me saying that because I put myself in that situation I must take responsibility and that god would never make me go through something I couldnt handle. So at the this moment the table have turned and I was now 100% abortion.

I told my cousin about my change in decision and she was extremely upset and told me that when I do decide to do it that she didnt want to be present. Which was completely understanding. So I told my sister and because she was in a similar situation to mine when she was 16, she was able to help me. Which is what I advise to any women that wants to get an abortion is to never go through with it alone, regardless if you think you're a heartless person, make sure someone is supporting you some how. I then told my mentor at school, and she was trying to tell me not to get it but I was certain that I was going to get. Another thing, telling a teacher figure, isnt a bad idea. It really should be a teacher or someone along those lines that you know you have a good relationship with or you know is a helpful person. I dont know how much I preached to my mentor not to tell anyone that would tell my mum. So she had to abide by that. I got through the whole process of getting an appointment to discuss what would happen. To making the appointment for the abortion. Organising who would go with me. And in the mean time I was going through complications at about 2 months. There was a chance that I was going through an abdominal pregnancy due to pains I was experiencing. Luckily that wasnt the case and I was just stressing way to much.

So before the day of the abortion, the guy and me talk and he sounded relieved that I was going to get the abortion. He said to me that he would even come with me, to the clinic so that I wouldnt go through it alone. I briefly felt happy about me decision because he was happy. (I hope you see what Im getting at).

I was out of most of my lessons, talking with my mentors, I really did take advantage of that but constantly talking to someone instead of me overthinking about it and getting even more depressed was really helpful. Dont get me wrong I had many of my close friends supporting me, regardless of my decisions.

So the day of the abortion, I go with my auntie, I get my test done for STDS. That was clear. I get a scan. This was the most offputting thing to see. I literally fucked up my brain. The lady printed out the picutre and I saw the baby. That was in my body, in a uterus. I felt some type of connection but I quickly tried to push it aside. I know now at that moment I shouldve walked out the door. But I stayed. So then my sister had to come because my aunty had to go somewhere and it finally came to the point of taking the pills.

I'm not a doctor so I dont know the names but the procedure was to insert three or four pills up the vagina and thats it. I did that procedure because I couldnt go through the vaccuming method, just no. So as soon as I left the clinic small pains were coming through. And the pain killers that I was given wasnt no paracetomol, it was codeine. So I knew that I was gonna go through a shit amount of pain. The method I went through was inducing a miscarrage. My sister put me on the train I could go back home and I sit and process what I had just done. I was around about 20 people trying not to cry but tears was just falling out my eyes. I wish I couldve gone back and not inserted those pills. Before I got to my stop I just thought to myself its done now just leave it now. So I get home now and I need to pee. And a gush a blood just came. And I was curious so I looked at the toilet and I saw the placenta. As if it was ripped out of me. So I processed it again, I was basically flushing my baby down the toilet. Like wtf right? At this point the pain was just unbearable. I couldnt even stand. I was sitting on the toilet for a good hour before I went to lay down in my bed.I didnt want to move but I had to pick up my niece. The walk to my nieces school from my house was about 5 minutes and I had to beg one of the parents at the club to drive me home and help me inside.

Quickly I took the pills and the pain calmed down. My mum thought I was going through a period. The school let me take off as much time as I wanted. Even though I was offered counselling I declined. I shouldve accepted but I felt like I needed to go through this alone. I only talked to the guy once after. I literally felt like I was in a box. I took about 3 weeks off school. Pain for me lasted about 1 week to 2 before my actual period started. So I was in and out of hospital because the pain normally supposed to last 4 days. Nothing was wrong with me so I felt like it was God punishing me with more pain. And that was it.

After that, I acted like it never happened. Tried to continue on with life but my life was just going downhill before my eyes.If youre wondering I passed my GCSES and got 6 A-C.That was literally the only positive. And to me my life is still going downhill at this moment. Briefly after healing up, I got exposed multiple times, with pictures, but I didnt pay any mind to it. I got raped, but I didnt realise I got raped till my closest friends were telling me that I had. I didnt see it as rape but considering the whole situation, it was. I felt like because I put myself in that situation It wasnt rape. I was getting therapy but I wasnt saying what I wanted to say because it was therapy with my mum. Our relationship had deteoriorated extremely. And thats not because she knew. She didnt until about 9 months later.I had met someone that made me the happiest person, despite our disputes, I was still happy. He made me feel important while I was in this downward spiral. And turns out we was both toxic. It ended terribly. I was willing to do unthinkable things just to get him back in my life and thats when I realised that I had reached my peak.

Right now even though it still seems to me that my life is going downhill, its not as steep. Im more happy, Im getting help. My mum knows more but not everything.Im happy with that. Im still bunking lessons, but its just when I feel extremely low. But it just occurred to me that right now well lets say today, if I had gone through a full term and given birth, my baby wouldve been 2 months old. And that really aches in my heart. I had recently found the picture of my scan again and it just really made me think. Why on earth did I get that abortion? And I thought hard about it. And I realised how my brain was working back then compared to now. I was trying to make the guy happy , I wasnt being selfish. In that situation , you have to be selfish, dont care bout nobody else but YOURSELF. But im my mind I wanted him to be happy about my decision, I didnt want to disappoint him, so I got the abortion. I think about it now and I wish I wouldve had my baby. If I was thinking like how I am right now, my baby wouldve been in my arms. And now I know that my mum wouldve helped me and I was wrong the whole time about my mum lashing out. I had this all bottled up inside of me and I have been getting these suicidal thoughts, but I been there and done that. Its not a route I want to revisit.

All I am stressing here. Is that regardless of your situation, You need to think real fucking hard before you decide to get an abortion. I know right now that I will regret this for the rest of my life. So I really dont want more girls to go through this. Think before you do anything.

First thing first is wrap it up for fuck sake!

If you dont wrap it up and get pregnant, THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE! THINK ABOUT YOURSELF FUCK EVERYONE ELSE!

If you dont believe in god then think to yourself. You can wake up everyday and you've experience your happiest and lowest days. You've seen single mothers or dads that look after their children and even though through the struggle they are still happy. You can handle it. Even if you dont think you can I dont know how to stress, regardless of the situation your in you can handle it. But if you think you cant then you need to have someone. Even if its someone online that you could talk to (be careful though) at least you have some sort of support. There are phone lines that allow you speak and they listen and advise you. We are in the fucking age where we can do that. We are so advantaged!

Please think before you get an abortion because the last thing you want to come to mind and eventually come out of your mouth is

"I wish I never got an abortion"

Sorry this is so long.. If anyone needs advice on literally anything, doesnt need to be about abortions, just slide im dms.. Sharing will help aswell so more people can see and advise others. A post can do so much. But I can do so little and just share my story and hope that hopefully Im helping someone who thinks that theyre by themselves.