#and then we ‘pivot to remote’ and I spend my entire day planning because they think we should be live all day

[merlinsear]

Remember snow days? Yeah those don’t happen anymore. I have to sit on Google Meet and teach live the entire day tomorrow. And not just to my class (2/3 grade self-contained special education so imagine how well that’s going to work with my wide variety of abilities and behaviors and academic levels), but the city canceled all subs and the k/1 teacher has covid so guess where these kids are going??? Yup on my Google meet. Tell me you don’t think these kids deserve to learn anything without telling me you don’t think these kids deserve to learn anything.

[vannahfanfics]

Okay okay I know I just send in a request, buuuut your writing is amazing so... could you do a ohshc prompt? About Haruhi and the twins? It could be platonic, romantic, as long as it’s just centered around them! Something will subtle angst and teeth rotting fluff! Maybe a sleepover between them? Where Haruhi’s oblivious self finally figures out how much she means to them?

Here it is! It isn’t very angsty at all but I tried to keep with the spirit of what you wanted. I hope you enjoy it all the same!

The Twins’ First Sleepover

Haruhi sipped calmly at her cup of tea as she sat between Hikaru and Kaoru as they entertained the handful of young ladies seated on the sofa across them. Though Haruhi normally entertained her own customers, every so often the pair of mischievous twins would kidnap her to weigh in on their avid discussions. So here she was, crammed between the two redheads as they courted the girl students with their shameless “brotherly love” gimmick. At one point Hikaru brought up something about a “sleepover,” which had the girls squealing and wriggling about as they probably imagined some sinful thoughts- and a possibility sparked in Haruhi’s brain.

“Have you two ever actually been on a legitimate sleepover?” Haruhi could practically hear the record scratch as the twins each looked at her in a mixture of shock and humiliation- inadvertently answering her question without the need of vocalizing. With wide eyes mirrored the brown liquid sloshing around in the elegant teacup, Haruhi’s head swiveled back and forth between them like a perplexed baby owl’s. She hadn’t thought in an odd question, but then again, she was the odd one out in almost anything that pertained to the host club and its rich entertainers and patrons… Hikaru’s mouth was the first to curl into a languid smirk. She knew right then as he leaned his cheek into his fist with glinting eyes that a scheme was hatching in that nefarious mind of his.

“Why, no, Haruhi; as a matter of fact, we have not. Are you offering?” Jesus, these two will use any means necessary to get in my house. Are they really so fascinated by poor people?! she thought with a small sigh. Now that she thought about it, though, it had been a terribly long time since she had participated in a sleepover, too. Part of her considered announcing a host club sleepover, but that simply wouldn’t do; her house was much too small, and entertaining the club of boys was much too draining for a few hours— let alone an entire night. Additionally, she never really had the opportunity to socialize with just the twins by themselves; though they had crawled out of their shells considerably since her arrival, she had the feeling that there was a lot more to delve into when it came to them.

“As a matter of fact, I am. Why don’t we have a sleepover?” she suggested with her normal deadpan, innocent demeanor. It apparently had not been the reaction Hikaru was expecting, because he let out a choking sound as he reared back with a wild blush. Her head pivoted to Kaoru to find an identical pink tint painting his cheeks as he stared at her owlishly. They then grinned devilishly to each other over her head in agreement, and as she shrank down hoping the couch cushions would swallow her up, she wondered if she had made a grievous mistake.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Coming!” she called as she hurried down the hallway, her bare feet slapping against the wood to echo through the small house. She skipped over the landing to run right for the door before the twins, who were incessantly ringing her doorbell, got too impatient and started beating their fists on the door in addition. She swept open the door while she fought to catch her breath and swept disarrayed strands of her caramel-colored hair back into place. The two identical twins were wearing matching grins, as if Haruhi hadn’t arrived like a bat out of hell to greet them.

“Hey, Haruhi~!” they chimed in unison.

As promised, Haruhi had arranged a sleepover to take place three days after her proposal. Though her father had been a bit unwitting to allow her to stay overnight with boys while he was at work at first, with enough gentle coaxing and reassurance, he had reluctantly agreed to allowing the house to themselves for the night. Haruhi really had no illegitimate plans in mind, but her father was so overprotective that it would just make the sleepover cumbersome and admittedly hard to enjoy. It was about seven o’clock in the evening and so Haruhi had already finished her bath routine early to prepare; she was freshly showered and her skin smelled faintly of vanilla lotion (because Tamaki insisted on a skincare routine for her; at first it had been an annoyance, but actually she had come to find it quite cathartic), and she was dressed in a pair of white cotton pajamas decorating with corgis in all manners of poses. Haruhi was actually an avid collector of ridiculous pajamas- they were often on sale at the supermarket, which was even better- and her corgis were definitely the pride and joy of her assortment.

“Nice jammies, Haruhi,” Kaoru laughed as he patted her lightly on the head. “If Tamaki ever spied you in those, his heart would probably explode, yeah?”

“Without a doubt. They’d be shipping him to the hospital for cardiac arrest,” Hikaru agreed with a snicker, hand raised to his mouth to curl his index finger at his lip as he chortled. Haruhi thanked them for praising her pajamas before she squeezed between them to all but push them into her house.

“No time to waste! Go get changed into your pajamas. That’s step one!” she ordered. They fumbled at the doorway to kick off their shoes before taking off for the house’s only bathroom with resounding “Yes, ma’am’s.” Haruhi’s out-of-character insistence was mostly because she was actually excited, having not partaken in the childhood pleasure for such a long time, but also because she really didn’t want her neighbors to spot the twins and badger her with questions next time they caught her alone. She shut the door behind her and walked down the hall just in time for the twins to jump out of the bathroom door in a grand flourish. They sported (naturally) matching baby-blue silk pajamas with dark blue buttons and needlework at the various hems. They were very tasteful and undoubtedly a product of their mother’s creative mind.

“Well, Haruhi, how do we look?” they inquired as they struck dramatic model poses. Haruhi giggled and assured them that yes, they were very handsome, before escorting them to her bedroom. They lingered in the doorway with wide eyes for a moment, as they had never been in a girl’s room before. Haruhi’s bedroom was overwhelmingly plain, mirroring her easygoing, relaxed personality, but nonetheless still held its own simple charm; on her schooldesk was a little succulent that she had been tending to for the last several years which now sprawled out its wide, bulbous leaves in a big pot. A few stuffed teddy bears were gathered in a small basket at the foot of her bed. She had a carpet with soft, fluffy fibers that matched the color of her curtains, which were drawn back to display the starry night sky and neighborhood landscape like an exquisite oil painting. It was nothing grandiose, but it was definitely Haruhi, and the boys seemed to appreciate this sentiment as they stood holding their chins and nodding in approval. As Haruhi quipped for them to get inside already, they saluted her before skipping across the room to join her on the rug, on which she had sprawled a thick comforter and several accessory blankets.

“What now?” Hikaru asked, watching with interested as Haruhi cocooned herself in one of the blankets.

“Well, when I used to have sleepovers, we would always watch a scary movie first. We’d all scream and hold each other at the scary parts. Since we did it first, though, we’d spend the rest of the night on other things and so by the time we went to bed, we wouldn’t have nightmares because we barely remember the movie,” she explained as she picked up the remotes to her television and DVD player to flip them on. Of course, her TV was incredibly small and an older model before flat screens, but hey, she was grateful to even have one in her bedroom. She already had the disc in the DVD player; it was an older movie about a haunted videotape where a monster would crawl out of the television and murder whoever dared to play it. Haruhi had seen it many a time. Though scary movies terrified the bejeezus out of her during the experience, she kind of loved the rush of adrenaline they gave her, and when one was with friends, it was much less horrifying, anyway.

Regardless of that fact, she was still screaming in fright and burying her face into Hikaru’s chest not twenty minutes later. Kaoru had a similar idea and had his arms wrapped around her waist as he pressed his face into her back, muffling his continued shouts of “ohGod-ohGod-ohGod-ohGod-OHGOD!” Hikaru wasn’t screeching like the two of them but his bodily was noticeably tensed as he wrapped his arms around the back of her head to pull her close. He nervously laughed at the two of them, especially Haruhi, asking her why she would choose a scary movie in the first place when she couldn’t even watch it; however, as an unearthly screech blasted out of the television’s audio system, he jumped violently and yelped aloud. This made Haruhi laugh into his silk shirt despite the tears brimming in her eyes; it was so cute to see him try to be a tough guy when he was scared out of his wits, too. By the time the movie was over, Haruhi was pretty much in Hikaru’s lap quivering but laughing at Kaoru, who had shimmied under the bed with only his bare feet sticking out, and at Hikaru, who had been looking at the ceiling for the last thirty minutes as he tenderly held the scared girl and pretended like the entire thing hadn’t been much of an ordeal.

“It wasn’t that scary,” he muttered for the tenth time as Haruhi finally pried herself off him.

“Yes, it was!” Karou wailed from beneath her bed frame. “I dun wanna do sleepovers with Haruhi anymooooore!”

“Pity, I guess you’ll miss the makeover,” Haruhi said with a click of her tongue as she crossed the room to pull out her small make-up kit.

“Makeo-��� There was a loud thump as Kaoru smacked his head against the wooden frame of her bed. “Owwwww… Makeover?” he cried as he wriggled backward out from underneath the bed to sit up and grin at her breathlessly, with his orange hair all scrambled from his actions. Haruhi snickered and sat down on her knees in front of them while spreading out her make-up. Haruhi didn’t use it for school anymore now that she was masquerading as a male for the host club, but she occasionally pampered herself on the weekends with some minimal applications of foundation and mascara and lip gloss. Honestly, her father had given her most of it and she felt guilty for not exploiting its range of options; given Hikaru and Kaoru’s proclivities for creativity, she had reasoned that they would enjoy dolling her up. When she explained this to them, they were nearly beside themselves with excitement.

“We’re gonna make you the prettiest girl ever, Haruhi!” Kaoru beamed as he plucked up a few of her powder brushes.

“Hey, she’s already pretty,” tutted his twin, which made Haruhi chuckle. Kaoru stuck out his tongue in annoyance at him.

“Of course she is! You know what I meant, meanie!” he grumbled before looking happily at her. “Okay! Now close your eyes so we can work our magic!” Haruhi did as instructed. With her eyes closed, she had to try her best not to wriggle at the alien sensation of the plush brushes feathering over her skin. Occasionally one of the twins would voice instructions, such as for her to purse her lips or open her eyes long enough to apply mascara. With no mirror in front of her, it was hard to really tell what they were doing, but to Haruhi the surprise was worth the anticipation. It really took them no time at all to paint the canvas that was her small face, and soon her eyes were open again watching as Kaoru bounced up and down with excitement while Hikaru held up a mirror. Haruhi’s eyes went wide in shock; though she would’ve imagined that with as much make-up that she felt them smear on her skin she would’ve looked like an upscale prostitute at best, it actually blended well nicely. Haruhi’s face was definitely her own, but with the brown-hued eyeshadow (the perfect tint to match her corgis) and lip gloss and blush, she also looked like some foreign model. When Hikaru lowered the mirror, she smiled sweetly.

“Wow, guys, thank you. It looks beautiful.”

“Yes, it does!” Hikaru quipped as he held up his fingers around her face like he was framing art. “Absolutely stunning, right, brother?”

“Yes indeed! We could send her down the catwalk, no problem!” he snickered. Haruhi smiled as she leaned back on her legs; she honestly wasn’t sure what would come of this sleepover, but she could honestly say that she was having the most fun in ages. Not that the host club wasn’t fun, but it was different… While the host club was chaotic and an adrenaline rush because she never knew what was going to happen, this was almost like nostalgic fun, like she was someplace that she was comfortable and belonged. It was a bit strange, but nevertheless, Haruhi savored it.

~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the three of them finally settled down long enough to even consider sleeping, it was 2 a.m. Haruhi had abandoned her bed in favor of sprawling out between them on a collection of thick comforters and pillows on the floor. At first, they had tried to convince her to do otherwise, but she had insisted that this was how sleepovers worked and it was either this or trying to cram into her twin-sized bed… So there they were. Of course, they weren’t even really trying to sleep; they were giggling in hushed voices as they relived many of the ridiculous things Tamaki had done, and the twins even filled her in on more comedic events that occurred before she had joined the host club. At present, Haruhi was snorting with laughter as she buried her face into her pillow, smearing tears of laughter across the fine cotton surface. Suddenly, she heard the twins sigh in unison, and looked up while wiping at her lashes.

“What is it?” she inquired as she looked between them. Hikaru was propped up on one elbow, while Kaoru was on his belly with his legs kicked up and crossed at the ankles.

“We were just thinking about how grateful we are to have a friend like you, Haruhi,” Hikaru answered. A faint dusting of pink blush even more prominent than the make-up she had been wearing earlier appeared on her round cheeks.

“Yeah!” Kaoru agreed with a nod of his head and a serene smile.

“I don’t get it,” Haruhi said blankly. “I mean, you guys have Tamaki and everyone else, right?”

“Ah, that’s different,” they bleated in tandem. Haruhi scrunched up her face as she tried to riddle the strange twins’ words out. She really wasn’t anything that special to them, was she? She had thought maybe they had just accepted the sleepover because it was something they had never done before, but she was beginning to think that perhaps Haruhi herself had more to do with it than she initially thought. Hikaru leaned over to ruffle her silky brown hair, smiling softly.

“Thanks for inviting us, Haruhi.” She blinked up at him, not quite sure how to react; then, he suddenly whirled around so his back was to her. “G’night!” Even more inquisitive now, Haruhi turned to look at Kaoru, who had done the same and was apparently asleep or at least pretending to be, snoring softly. Confused, Haruhi rolled onto her back to look up at the ceiling while the puzzle pieces shuffled around in her mind searching for their homes. A small smile gradually bloomed on her face like a night cactus flower. Maybe there wasn’t an ulterior motive for themselves and they just really wanted to spend time with me, she reasoned. She snuggled into the blankets as a warm, fuzzy feeling began to tingle through her body. They certainly had seemed to enjoy themselves completely, and they hadn’t made any sort of move that implied to Haruhi that they had any nefarious tricks in mind. A friend like me, huh? Haruhi’s hands rooted through the blankets on either side to find their arms, pulling at them such that she could grasp their hands and lay them down against the blankets. It was kind of an uncomfortable position for them, but neither of them said a word.

“I’m glad I have friends like you, too. We should do this again,” she said with a soft, happy sigh. Again, neither of them said anything at all, but she felt both their fingers curl around hers in silent affirmation.

Haruhi drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face, wedged between the two twins whose hearts she had unwittingly laid bare, even if just a little…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to perusemy Tableof Contents!

[critical-analysis]

Halas, the Perma-Heart, and the Laughing Hand: Three Relics from the Age of Arcanum, Crashing Together

Multiple plot lines crashed together when the Mighty Nein saw the words "Perma-heart" on Yussa's map of the Folding Halls of Halas. Before this, the Happy Fun Ball was just an interesting and fun mystery, seemingly endless opportunities at exploration, but now it seems that it plays a pivotal role in the group's conflict with Obann and whatever greater plan is at play against what's starting to seem like at the very least the entire continent, if not the entire world.

Both The Laughing Hand and Halas date back to the Age of Arcanum. The stained glass in the study that depicted the different planes was missing the Divine Gate, which suggests that at least that part of the Halls was built before the Divine Gate was created, and perhaps even that Halas disappeared before it was created, since it remained unchanged.

The Laughing Hand began his existence as a warrior who fought against the Betrayer Gods, particularly Torog. His army was defeated and Torog captured him, turning him into the Laughing Hand, keeping him in endless servitude by keeping his heart in an unknown extraplanar space. If the Mighy Nein are correct, they have found that space, a feat many had attempted, and it looks like only one other, Halas, was able to do.

The question is what exactly was (is?) Halas trying to do with the heart? Those clone things are freaky as all get out. The Tal'Dorei campaign guide talks a big about the Age of Arcanum and the power mages wielded at the time. It says that some mages had learned to create life forms on their own, so it makes sense that Halas may have been trying to do this, but maybe wasn't having success at creating life that wasn't absolutely horrifying. If he'd been struggling to create life that was sustainable, he may have found something about the Laughing Hand's heart that was able to further power his experiments. However, I suspect that the reason these clones/lifeforms are so messed up is specifically because of the heart. Perhaps the fact that it was commanded by a Betrayer God had tainted it. Maybe it's that it was still connected to an existing creature and therefor couldn't give enough power to fully support Halas's experiments. It could be something of a combination of both, that because the heart belonged to a creature that had been corrupted by a Betrayer god, the power it put out is corrupted itself.

One obvious question is "why clones"? Why would the life Halas created be clones of him? I think a possible answer to that might lie in one of the books Caleb found in Halas's library the first time they were inside the Halls. It was a transcript of public debates from the society of Zeidel about whether or not it was morally acceptable to use the prisoners of Ghor Dranis for arcane experimentation. Zeidel was an incredibly knowledgeable and educated society of mages during the Age of Arcanum, so it's possible that Halas was either a part of that society or acquainted with them. Perhaps he was on the side of not using prisoners for experimentation, or maybe he was fine with it but due to the debates it was eventually outlawed, or at the very least fell out of favor and became frowned upon, and Halas found that the only subject for such experiments he could use was himself. However, I do think it's also possible that it happened as a result of Halas becoming more and more isolated in the Folding Halls, no longer leaving, and no longer interacting with people in the outside world at all, which would mean he truly had only himself to experiment on. I wonder if he’d tried other experiments where he tried to create life from scratch and was unable to make that final step in actually giving his creation life. Perhaps that’s what the doll in the study with the hair that was strangely realistic was. An earlier failed attempt at creating life. 

Now the big current question is what or who is this hulking, multi-headed creature that the party is due to fight in this week's episode (unless Matt pulls a complete surprise and this guy is a just a big sweetheart who really wants to get out of the Halls)? It might not be a big deal at all, just another of Halas' abominations/failures. But I wonder if maybe this is the final form of what Halas wanted to make, his final success. Maybe, at least by the time he started experimenting in the Folding Halls, he was not a good person and was looking to create a monster for himself, just as Torog did when he took the Laughing Hand's heart and hid it away. Maybe that's why he sought out the heart in the first place. Or maybe he'd started with a relatively innocent and not remotely insane desire to create life in the way the other mages of the time had, and over time, whether it was because  of the isolation of spending all of his time in the Halls, or maybe because the Perma Heart's influence is a corrupting one, his goals changed.

Or maybe this hulking creature is Halas himself. He's been lost since at least the Age of Arcanum, perhaps even before the Divine Gate was created. Maybe he decided to turn from using his own material for experimentation to experimenting on himself and created something horrible. Time moves differently in the Halls than it does on the primary plane. If each hour on the inside is one day on the outside, then it's likely only a few decades have passed for someone who has been inside of it since the Age of Arcanum. (My math, the was very general and based on estimates of time rather than exact counts of days, months, years, etc., came out to about 3 decades, but I am not a math whiz by any means, and I would need to really scour the campaign guide in order to be able to input the exact numbers for the amounts of days, hours, etc. into the equation. But the very estimated equation I had came out to about 30 years). Maybe the reason Halas disappeared was because his creation was stronger than he was and it killed him.

So even if this creature is not Halas, it's entirely possible Halas is still inside of these Halls somewhere. Perhaps Yussa encountered him and that's why he didn't return. A part of me thinks that the state of certain places they've been suggests that if he is still inside the halls that Halas has possibly become lost, both in terms of sanity and location. But with so many rooms, I suppose it's possible that he just hasn't seen to certain areas in some time.

There are a few open ended questions I'm curious about. Particularly, how did Halas find the Laughing Hand's heart? Was he actively looking for it, as many mages were at the time? Or did he just find in the course of creating his giant, extraplanar home? Was he already building his home when he found it, or was the decision made because he'd found the heart in this extraplanar space and he decided to build the manor around it? Perhaps as a means of protecting it and keeping others from finding it?

I also wonder what will happen once the Mighty Nein does have the heart. It seems pretty clear that it puts out some kind of power, but if those clones are anything to go by, it might not be a good power. Torog had hidden it away in order to keep the Hand in servitude forever. Would the Mighty Nein then have control over the Hand if they have his heart? If they return it to him, will he become the man he once was? Or maybe at least get to finally rest peacefully, for good?

I feel like there’s also probably a lot we still don’t know, information they could have found in the study, or that might yet exist elsewhere in the halls, that might uncover more answers. I’m absolutely fascinated by what Halas’s interest in the frozen fields of Eiselcross is (I’m betting it has something to do with the rare and unique monsters that live there), and I’m curious about why he was doing research into corrupted plant life, if it had anything to do with his creepy clone experiments, if he has some other experiment he was pursuing, if maybe he was looking into various forms of corruption because of what the heart was doing to his creations. Who knows?

There are still a lot of questions, but I do think a few things are certain. Obviously, Halas found the Perma-Heart and discovered that it had some kind of power to aid him in his experiments in creating life. I think it's also safe to say that something about the heart's power made those clones as messed up as they were. These storylines have come together in a fascinating way, and I think the Mighty Nein will probably have some tough choices to make coming up in regards to the heart and what needs to be done with it. I'm fascinated by all of this, and I can't wait to learn more about Halas, about the Laughing Hand before he was captured by Torog, about what his heart does, and how it all comes together.  

[jae-bummer]

Better that Way

Request: first off welcome back! you and all your writings are amazing 💞 my request would be a fluff/angst scenario with nct jungwoo where he has a crush on the reader and she keeps calling him cute and he doesn’t like it. he wants her to see him as manly. maybe he confronts her after she “flirts” with a more “manly” member and confesses and then she confesses too. ?? thank you! 💗

Pairing: NCT’s Jungwoo x Reader (Featuring Jaehyun) 

Genre: Angst/Fluff

You stood idly in the living area of the NCT dorm, waiting patiently for Jungwoo to put his shoes on. He had planned to take you to lunch in result of losing a heated game of Monopoly last week, and in general, he was a man of his word.

“Where are we going, Jungwoo?” you sighed, crossing your arms before you chanced a look towards him. As per usual, he was already gazing at you, a small smirk pulling at his lips. “And why are you so slow?” 

“I’m so slow because I have the cutest friend distracting me,” he hummed, turning back to his shoes. 

“You’re so greasy,” you grumbled, turning away from him in mock disgust. “But I’ll take the compliment from the king of cute.” 

“Me? Cute?” he asked, lifting a brow. “I am the picture of masculinity.” 

“More like the picture of soft,” you chuckled. “Jungwoo, I’m pretty sure you evolved from a baby chick. You’re so fluffy and pure.” 

“Am not!” he gasped. “I’m...I’m a - manly, dirty man!” 

“Not on your best day,” Taeil said, appearing from the hallway. “Hey, Y/N.” 

“Hey Tae,” you nodded. “Plus, I wouldn’t be telling people you were dirty, Jungwoo.” 

“I have to agree on that one,” Taeil chuckled as he shuffled into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Would you like a drink?” 

Taeil turned, shooting a smile that was worthy of making your heart stop. A blush began to creep on your cheeks as you gave him an embarrassed smile in return. You didn’t have any particular romantic interest in Taeil, but damn him for that smile. Then again, that was situation normal whenever you hung out with almost any member of NCT. 

As you attempted to form your mouth around a response, you felt a strong pair of hands grip around your stomach, and pull you backwards. You let out a small squeak as you plopped into Jungwoo’s lap, his hands wrapping more tightly around your waist. “We’re about to go to lunch! If you drink too much before, you’ll already be full!” 

Your stomach did a flip before settling again. Jungwoo was precious and incredibly kind. Just like Taeil, you had never considered him romantically...until this very moment. Pulled to the warmth of his body, his affection and attention solely on you, felt wonderful. 

So naturally, you needed to escape from the situation. 

“Oh hush,” you sighed, smacking at his hands. His chin dug into your shoulder as he began to pout. Wiggling out of his reach, you moved toward the kitchen, and leaned against the counter. “A water shouldn’t hurt?” 

“Water?” Taeil nodded with another award winning grin. 

“Yeah, because someone is apparently thirsty,” Jungwoo whispered before crossing his arms and continuing to pout. 

“He’s even cute when he’s mad,” Taeil chuckled, pulling a pitcher from the fridge. 

“Quit lying to yourself, Zeus,” you giggled. “Not everyone can be as manly as our Tae here.” 

Taeil grinned as he struck a pose before dissolving into laughter himself. 

Jungwoo furrowed his brow as he turned from the kitchen to gaze at the wall before him, his arms still crossed angrily. 

“If he were a cartoon, smoke would be flowing from his ears,” you hiccuped, hoping your teasing would cause him to lighten up. Instead, his face turned an even darker shade of red. 

“What are you two up to anyway?” Taeil asked, pouring two glasses of water. 

“Grabbing lunch,” you sighed, your eyes incapable of leaving Jungwoo. You weren’t sure what had gotten into him today. As soon as Taeil entered the room, his mood turned much more extreme, something you had never experienced with the gentle man before. “Remember the deathmatch monopoly game we played the other day?” 

“Ah, the one where Haechan left the room crying?” 

“That exact one,” you nodded. “Jungwoo and I were the last two playing and we made a little wager. If I won, he had to take me to lunch. If he won...what were your demands, Jungwoo?” 

Jungwoo remained silent, his attention never budging. 

“He’s quite the pouter, isn’t he?” you muttered, turning to Taeil. 

“When his feelings are hurt, he can get pretty icy,” Taeil said quietly. 

“Well, that’s just silly,” you whispered. “We’re only teasing the same way that we normally do.” 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine at lunch,” Taeil nodded, picking up his glass of water and heading back toward the hallway. “See you.” 

“Bye,” you hummed. Pushing yourself from the counter, you looked up from the floor just in time to not run into Jungwoo. 

“Why is everyone so messy?” he whined, crossing the kitchen and grabbing the pitcher of water Taeil had left out. “Being manly isn’t everything you know!” 

“I’m sorry, did I unknowingly hit a nerve?” you asked, tilting your head. 

“I don’t have nerves to hit,” he muttered. “I’m made of cotton candy and jellybeans, remember?”

“While that sounds delicious,” you chuckled. “I think you’re being a little dramatic.” 

Jungwoo slammed the refrigerator door shut, revealing an impressive side eye before he spun back around. “Ready?”

“Are you two the only ones in the dorm?” you asked, grabbing your coat as you made your way to the door. 

“I think so,” he hummed, grabbing his coat as well. 

“Oh!” you gasped, hopping over your pair of shoes waiting at the door. 

“Oh?” Jungwoo asked, lifting his brows. “Oh what?” 

“Let me grab him!” you hummed, whizzing toward the hall. 

“You want to go to lunch with Taeil then?” Jungwoo grumbled as he followed you. “Would rather spend your time with someone more manly?” 

“No, I just think it’s impolite if we don’t invite him,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. You weren’t sure what had gotten into your friend, but you were quickly growing tired with his sensitive attitude. Today wasn’t any different than any other.  

“Y/N,” Jungwoo said sternly as you heard his feet halt on the hardwood. For a moment you almost didn’t stop, thinking you had misheard the tone he had spoken in.  

Lifting your brows, you spun on your heel, and leveled him with a surprised look. Never in the history of knowing him had you heard him get even remotely serious. 

“Yes?” you said carefully. 

Jungwoo took a deep breath before giving himself a small nod of reassurance. Stomping toward you, he grabbed your wrist, and pivoted both of your bodies toward the wall. Pulling at your opposite wrist with his free hand, he pushed gently against your chest with his. Before you could fully process the situation, Jungwoo had you pinned against the plaster, his face only centimeters from yours. Breathing heavily, he set his jaw, staring intently at you. 

“What...what are you doing?” you managed, overly aware of his breaths heaving against yours. You could barely hear your own voice over the pound of your heartbeat.  

“Eh...I just followed what I remembered guys do in dramas,” he muttered. “When they’re frustrated with someone they’re interested in.” 

“You’re...you’re interested in me?” you croaked. The realization made your heart flutter. 

“Yes, and you hurt my feelings,” he said softly, his grip loosening on your wrists. His hands fell to his sides as he took a small step backwards. His eyes didn’t leave the floor as he began to speak. “I know some guys don’t mind being cute and usually I don’t...cause I know I’m cute, and I know I can be soft, and I love that part of me...but when I see someone making you blush like that...and it’s Taeil hyung...and I know everyone says he’s the manliest of all of us...and then you start comparing us...and even if it’s just a joke...it makes me wonder if that’s why you aren’t interested in me? I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous in my entire life until this afternoon when he smiled at you and I saw your cheeks start to blush...I want to be the only one who can do that to you...and that’s selfish and silly and jees, why am I still talking?” 

You let a coy smile emerge on your lips as you launched toward him, now your turn to make him uncomfortable. 

“Hey!” he gasped, his eyes seemingly doubling in size as either of your hands pressed against the wall around his head. “...what are YOU doing?” 

“You hurt my feelings,” you grinned. “By assuming I didn’t have feelings for you.”

“You...you do?” he stuttered, his eyes darting to every feature on your face. 

“I do,” you nodded. “And not because you’re manly, and not because you’re cute. I like you for your heart and how good your soul is. You are easily the best person I know...” 

“I am?” he asked, his expression one of disbelief. 

You grinned before placing a light kiss on the tip of his nose. “Who cares if you’re soft. I think you’re much better that way.” 

“...and if that’s what you think,” he whispered, a new determined look in his eyes. “Then who cares what anyone else says! My name is Kim Jungwoo and I am the cutest one!” 

“Say it louder!” you giggled. “Really believe it!” 

“MY NAME IS KIM JUNGWOO!” he laughed. “AND I AM THE CUTEST ONE.”

“You are,” you cooed, letting your arms fall, and instead wrap him in a hug. “And I don’t want you to ever think there’s something wrong with that.” 

[saltpepperbeard]

**REWRITE** These Words are a Lie ~A Joshifer Fanfiction~ Chapter Two

A/N: Holy moly does it feel weird to write that title again. But hello everyone! This may seem a bit odd, but trust me, this has been a long time coming. I was super hyped when I published chapter two back in 2015. Over the years however, the chapter has gotten uglier and uglier to me, the characterization/motivation just BEGGING to be fixed. And of course very recently, my writing motivation has returned home from war lol. So naturally, I FINALLY decided to rewrite this chapter as a fun little exercise!

I have to say that I’m much happier with how it turned out. It ended up longer than the original of course; no surprise there lol. But I’m really glad I did this, and I had so much fun diving back into the TWAAL universe again! (And yes the banner got a glow up too lol)

Disclaimer: This chapter contains strong language and explicit sexual content.

The original/old chapter two can be found here [x]

All chapters can be found here [x]

And without further adooooo....

After a plethora of love-soaked reveries and heated dreams, I awake with a start. It takes me a moment to come to terms with where I am, come to terms with reality. The second I do, I’m met with a lifting relief and a crushing sadness.

The clock on the night stand reads 3 AM, and I’m still in my Berlin hotel room, Josh asleep in bed beside me. I’m so happy he’s here. His presence alone takes a giant weight off my shoulders. His presence alone hoists me away from all the bullshit I’ve dealt with for the past few weeks. It reminds me that life is hopefully headed in a simpler, happier direction, one where my ex isn’t constricting me.

Losing Nick however, and having Josh to fill the holes, unfortunately has problems of its own. Looking at him as my best friend, Josh does wonders with making me feel better. He always knows how to make me smile, always knows what to say, and always makes me feel like I’m home. I suppose he’s a little too good at making me feel better, because even to this day, he still surpasses the “best friend” title in my heart.

After everything we’ve been through, after all the twists and turns our lives have taken, I still long for him like nothing else.

The thought is amazing, but so incredibly frustrating.

I’m away from Nick, sure. But I wish I could undo even more. I wish I could go back to our first break up and never look back from then on. I wish I could go back to Hawaii and fully commit to who I’ve deeply loved after all this time.

But I can’t. The damage has been done. And now I’m stuck here in limbo.

A long sigh slips from my nose as I eye Josh in the darkness. Even though he’s turned away from me, he looks absolutely conked out, his body sagging heavily into the mattress. My expression shifts to a sad ghost of a smile as I continue to stare, the dreams picking back up even in my wakeful state.

What would it be like if Josh was lying in bed beside me not as my friend, but as my partner...

What would it be like if Josh and I had spent the night peppering each other with kisses instead of platonic hugs...

What would it be like if Josh and I had fallen deep into each other and fucked the night away...

I sit up a bit more with alarm, almost feeling ashamed of myself for having such a thought cross my brain.

God, I’m such a mess. My emotions and composure are really such a mess.

Any sane woman wouldn’t jump from guy to guy like this. Although, perhaps I never fully ���jumped” from the start. Nick and I definitely weren’t in love weeks ago, months ago. Anything we did wasn’t even remotely genuine. What I’m thinking about Josh however...

I bite my lip and decide that a bit of fresh air might do me good. I definitely need to clear my head.

As carefully and quietly as I can manage, I roll out of bed and head out onto the balcony. The cool night air is instantly refreshing, and I greedily inhale deep lungfuls as I attempt to calm myself down. I focus on anything and everything that can distract me from thinking about the man still asleep in my bed. The Berlin traffic down below, the gentle whisper of a breeze in my ears, the sound of the sliding door opening behind me...

A bolt goes up my spine, followed by a slight sense of dread. Guess distracting myself isn’t in the cards for tonight.

Another sigh huffs from my nose, and I pivot to see a very sleepy Josh, still rubbing the exhaustion out of his eyes as he steps on to the balcony with me.

“Hey...” he murmurs, his voice thick and raspy.

“Hey...” I whisper back.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, moving to stand by my side.

I chew my lip nervously, avoiding both his gaze and question as I turn to look over the city below.

“Just couldn’t...sleep I guess.”

Josh seems to consider this, a slight silence following my answer, before he continues.

“A lot on your mind still?”

“You have no idea...”

Another pause. And consequently, without either of us saying anything, my thoughts begin to whirl.

God, I wish I could tell him. I wish I could tell him everything, tell him the truth. I wish I could be perfectly open and honest with my feelings, and have everything work out just the way I want it to.

But I’m stuck. I’m trapped. And there’s no telling when things will come out.

I grasp the edge of the balcony, the metal cool against my fingers. Just when I’m about to truly spiral, a gentle hand against my back shifts things, if only for a moment. Josh rubbing soft circles silently comforts me, but then sends my thoughts reeling once more.

He’s such a great friend.

He’s such an amazing person.

He’s an absolutely perfect man.

God, I love him so much.

My grip turns so hard that my knuckles begin to white out, tears threatening to build in my eyes. I must tense up as well, because the hand against my back slows to a halt.

“You okay?”

I nod, but the moisture I was fighting to keep away ends up pooling in my vision.

“Jen...” Josh murmurs, his tone a bit more solemn.

Just like earlier, just like when he came into my room, he breaches the barrier of my composure. Because when I turn to look at him and open my mouth, all that comes out is a sob, followed by streams of tears.

This time though, he doesn’t say anything. His face falls, his mouth setting into a tight line, before he simply holds his arms out for me to fill. I do so without question.

He holds me tightly as I cry for everything I’ve lost, everything that could have been. Though I’m so incredibly fortunate to have him in my life, call me selfish, but I want more. I want all that he is.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he murmurs, breaking me out of my thoughts, “Everything will be alright, Jen...It’ll get better...”

I could cringe at those words, giving a few more sobs into his shoulder.

“I just want everything to be...simple for once, you know? I want everything to just...fall into place...”

He lets out a sigh against me, nuzzling his head against mine. He allows me more time to cry, more time to get my more extreme emotions out, before I can practically feel his demeanor change. He perks up a bit, his entire form running warm and sunny against my stormy attitude. When he leans back a bit, I cannot help but follow, pulling away a tad to catch his eye.

“Well,” he starts, and I cannot help but notice the twinkle in his gaze, “I don’t know if I can mess with how your life unfolds. Manipulating time and space wasn’t included in acting training.”

Despite my tears, I let out a snort, one that’s enough to bring out the crooked grin I’ve fallen in love with over the years.

“But I can however, at least try and make things a bit better tonight?”

He then reaches up with a hand to brush a few of my tears away, his thumb gently swiping across my cheek. It’s enough to bring my smile back, which only intensifies his.

“So since we’re already up, how about weeee order some food and drinks through room service, put on a shitty movie, and...stay up until things fall more into place?”

I laugh despite myself, despite everything still circulating around through my head.

“You’re an idiot, Joshy...It’s three in the morning...”

“I didn’t hear an answer,” he chuckles.

I give a shaky inhale, contemplating if it’s wise to interact with him more in such a state. But who knows; it might be beneficial to spend the night with him as a friend, and break myself out of the thirsting cycle I’ve got going on.

Anything’s better than lying awake trapped in my thoughts anyway.

So pushing my hesitance aside, I sniffle and return his smile.

“Yeah...Let’s do that.”

xXx

We go back into the room, and it isn’t long before we’re surrounded by various forms of alcohol, munchies, and movies. I’m quick to turn to drinks to numb myself, to white out my mind, getting buzzed faster than I planned to. While he initially gives me shit for using alcohol to cope, teasingly calling me Haymitch and what not, it doesn’t take Josh long to follow.

We laugh and talk, eat and drink, attempting to pay attention to the chosen movies as much as possible but barely doing so. The entertainment is more between us, a stream of drunken jokes and jabs pouring out of us.

It’s just what the doctor ordered, spending time with him like this. It’s just the two of us acting like idiots in their twenties. It puts me in my place.

Three turns to four, and four turns into five. Though the booze continues to run rampant in our systems, we begin to wind down a bit, flopping against the bed and trying to focus more on the television.

And just like usual, the whole friendship element begins to chip away, something far stronger attempting to win me over. Just when I happen to be at my utmost weakest as well.

In my state of growing mental and physical exhaustion, I find myself laying against Josh, my arm thrown messily across his chest and my head atop his shoulder. He holds me in a loose embrace, the two of us quieting down as we try our best to watch whatever’s on the TV.

“I needed this...” I murmur after a bit of a pause.

“I know you did. How are you feeling?”

“Reaaaaaallly good,” I reply, my voice clearly coated with liquor.

Josh snorts, before laughing a bit at my intoxicated state.

“Glad to hear it. Sorry if you wake up with a headache tomorrow, though,” he chuckles.

“Whatever. I was probably going to have one anyway.”

He chuckles a bit again, before snuggling closer and starting to rub my back once more. I let out a long breath and relax even further against him, getting lost in his touch and comfort.

A bit too lost I suppose, because before I can even process what I’m doing, I press a soft kiss to his chest, my lips brushing against his skin. It’s a silent thanks for everything. It’s a hint of my longing towards him. It’s definitely not how two friends should be acting.

My logic eventually catches back up, and a bolt of fear runs down my spine. God dammit, I’m slipping. I’m slipping something terrible. I can feel the alcohol washing away any and all self-control I may have. I can’t fuck things up for us. Not again. No matter how much I may want to, he’s my friend. He’s...

My argumentative thoughts are cut short by Josh’s hand stilling on my back. I hold my breath, wincing as I prepare for him to question my motives. Oddly enough, he does the exact opposite of what I expect; he leans down and presses a gentle kiss against my temple.

God, I love it. It sets me completely alight, warmth shooting from where his lips touched my skin to every nook and cranny of my body.

Josh and I have always been a bit more physically affectionate with each other. Platonic kisses have never really been out of the question. But with my current circumstances, in my current state of mind, a simple kiss takes me to a whole different state of being.

It rekindles my romantic thoughts. It makes me want to kiss him until the sun comes up, until the liquor runs dry. It makes me want to get locked in his embrace and never come out. It makes me want to smother him with all the pent up love I’ve been accumulating over the past few months, past few years.

And of course with love, stronger, more salacious thoughts are quick to follow...

My breath catches, soft shivers beginning to course through me. It’s like I physically have to hold myself back from falling victim and completely ravishing him. I have to aggressively restrain my impulsive side, my eager side, and hold on desperately to my more logical, calm thoughts.

But as the warmth spreads, it gets harder, and harder, and harder, and harder.

I have to come up for air, pushing myself up off of Josh and sitting beside him instead. I avoid his gaze for a moment, attempting to reign myself back in with deep, collected breaths. I’m almost about to leap off the bed and take some time to myself, to ensure I don’t do anything stupid.

When I chance a glance at Josh however, when blue looks into warm, wonderful hazel, I lose it. I lose everything.

His stare appears to be soft, loving, curious. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say his pupils are quite enlarged, like he’s gazing upon me with the same desires...

I shut my eyes, trying so hard to hang on to whatever composure I have left. But I can still see him behind shut eyelids, and so I feel the last bit of willpower crack into pieces, a subsequent twitch rolling through me.

My breaths turn shaky, and I open my eyes so I can reach forward and cup Josh’s jaw, desperately begging him to help set me straight.

But he doesn’t. I don’t see any hint of confusion, disgust, or any other negative emotions really. He just continues to look at me with those enticing, handsome eyes of his.

“Fuck...”

My whisper comes out slightly pained, slightly ashamed. That doesn’t stop me from leaning forward though, everything directing me to get what I want.

“Fuck, Josh...” I whimper, almost in a sort of messed up apology before I pounce.

And pounce I do.

It’s like time skips forward; maybe we do have the ability to manipulate it after all. Because in one second, I’m still hesitating, and in the next, I’m crushing my lips to the mouth of the man I truly desire.

It’s heaven. It’s everything. I haven’t kissed him this way in so long. All of our more recent kisses have been for the cameras. I haven’t had him all to myself like this in what seems like an eternity.

It’s almost like my lips were made for his, gliding and sliding perfectly through them. His lips and stubble provide a wonderful mixture of velvety soft and scratchy gruffness that I grow all the more lightheaded, all the more eager to drink him in.

As I greedily kiss him however, as I suck and smack and coax, he doesn’t appear to be doing the same. And when I realize my actions aren’t being reciprocated, I snap a bit more to my senses, a slew of worry flowing through me.

He doesn’t want it. I was just convincing myself otherwise. I threw myself onto him without him feeling the same way. The alcohol painted lies and fed me with false hope.

I almost start to panic, and though it pains me to do so, I start to lean away to break our beautiful connection. Josh has always been one for surprises though; instead of letting me go, he finally comes to and chases after my mouth.

I could almost cry from his silent permission, the kiss entirely mutual now. And so I eagerly hop right back in, gaping against him and hoping he follows my lead. He does, joining me in the lascivious, messy, amazing kiss.

Our lips meet and clash in a continuous stream, like we’re just as desperate to get that forbidden taste from each other. When his hands reach up to frame my face, tugging me even closer to him, I cannot help myself; I begin to moan and whimper through each advance.

It was stupid to think that I would be satisfied by just a good make out session alone. Because sure enough, the deeper and deeper we kiss, the hungrier and hungrier I get. I quickly start to crave more, quickly start to want to connect with Josh in every way, shape, and form.

God, if I could fully have him tonight...

Caught up in the moment, in my emotions, in my intoxication, I need him. I need a taste of what could have been. I want to experience this with him before it’s all ripped away again; the universe never seems to bring us properly together.

So naturally, stubbornly, I want to take advantage of what’s happening here and now. I want to go through with what we’re both feeling.

Though every part of me is already on fire, my pelvis completely goes ablaze, raging the strongest of all. It practically takes hold of the rest of my body, leading me to climb onto Josh’s lap, straddling him as our kiss continues. He groans as I do so, but suddenly, he begins to slow down, not returning my advances as much.

“Josh...” I whimper against his mouth, breaking our seal to pepper his jawline with kisses and nips.

Again, he vocalizes, letting out a heavy sigh. But he doesn’t chase after me like I thought. He seems to still even more.

“Josh, I want you...” I whisper into his skin, solidifying my desires.

Another heavy sigh puffs from his lungs, and his hands creep up to my shoulders, pushing me slightly.

“I...I can’t...” he heaves.

My heart flips within my chest, and I quickly go back to kissing him, attempting to rekindle his spark.

“Shhh, you can...” I murmur into him.

“Jen...”

Now he chooses to be persistent. Now he chooses to stop us. He gives my shoulders a harder push, guiding me off his lap and onto the bed again. When I look into his eyes, I see the same pain, the same look of attempted self control, that I was showcasing earlier.

“No...We have to stop.”

I open my mouth to argue back, before floundering and biting my lip instead.

“It’s not a good time right now,” he continues, panting softly.

“Josh...” I start, stubbornly trying to keep things going, despite being well aware of the consequences, “There’d be no repercussions, no problems. And definitely no regrets from my end.”

“I’ve heard that before...”

My heart sinks into my stomach, his words transporting me back to years prior. When we were crazy for one another. When things were just as complicated. When we fell victim to such deep intimacy that we came out hurt on the other end.

A slight glaze of tears well up in my eyes. I just want him without problems. I want him freely. I want him without having to worry about a care in the world.

“Josh...Please, I...”

“Jen,” he starts again, cutting me off, “You’re not in a good head space right now. You need some time to process everything. I think we both do. So how about we just...take it down a few notches?”

I let out a shivering sigh, looking down and preparing to accept defeat. It’s at that moment though, that I notice a very telltale sign of arousal. There’s an unmistakable, definitely difficult to ignore bulge in Josh’s pants, the fabric practically tenting with his erection. I bite my lip, feeling myself clench down below. Josh must follow my gaze and read my thoughts, because I hear him inhale so sharply that it could cut right through the sexual tension.

Slowly, my eyes travel back up to meet his, the air growing hotter and hotter between us. We share a simmering stare, our eyes both swirling with dark lust. But Josh somehow manages to cut it off, closing his eyes and swallowing hard.

“No...” he groans, slightly shaking his head, “No...”

And proving that he’s the stronger-willed individual, he pushes himself off the bed, grasping the back of his neck as he begins to walk away.

“I just...Give me some time alone, okay?”

With that, he departs towards the balcony, leaving me alone, frustrated, and increasingly ashamed of myself.

“I’m...I’m sorry,” I attempt to say to him, but my voice comes out in a barely audible whisper.

I feel crushed. I feel sad all over again. It’s like a painful reminder that Josh and I will never be, were never meant to be together.

Before I can feel too sorry for myself and break down completely, I decide to go into the bathroom and shower. I feel like I need to wash all of this, wash all of my emotion, completely away. And I’m sure the warm water will feel soothing in Josh’s cold absence.

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door, not bothering to lock it behind me. I’m sure Josh will leave once he collects himself anyway. I strip away all my clothing, and pause for a moment to grasp the counter, eyeing myself down in the mirror.

My appearance matches what I’m feeling inside; disheveled, chaotic, and upset. I blow out a long breath and hang my head, cursing at how everything currently is. But I can’t control anything. I can’t do anything about it. So after a moment, I simply prepare myself to step into the shower. A distant call of my name freezes me solid.

“Jen?”

I can’t bring myself to answer him. I fear what follows will be something along the lines of “I’m leaving for the night.” And I can’t have that. I don’t want him to go. I refuse to believe I’ve messed up things further. I can’t.

My name leaving his lips draws closer, and closer. Even when he’s right outside the door, I bite my lip, unable to find the strength to reply. But to my surprise, he barges into the bathroom without caution, practically throwing himself into the room.

“J-...Oh, fuck...”

I can practically feel his stare, his eyes leaving small fires as he flits them over my bare form. Without the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment, I turn to face him, perhaps even flaunting my body a tad. And I find a very frustrated, very handsome, very hard Josh in the doorway.

I watch him curiously, and admittedly delight, as the last bits of his composure come crashing down. He practically falls against the wall, nostrils flaring, eyes squeezing, biting the back of his hand as he fights to the end. I can hear him groaning and letting out a slew of expletives, my heart speeding up as I watch. I reach out with my mind and figuratively wrap my flames around him, enticing him to come back on the same plane of passion.

“You...You drive me insane, you know that?” he grumbles against his skin.

“I know.”

He lets out a series of sharp breaths, before he finally makes eye contact again; but not without giving my nakedness another sweep.

“Dammit,” he whispers, “...No repercussions?”

My heart flips within me, practically skipping beats at his question. We’re so close to having each other. So so close.

“No repercussions,” I breathe, “I promise.”

“This is stupid...”

“Probably.”

He gives me one last look, and then I visibly see the final walls come down, his body slacking as he gives in to his wants a well.

“Fuck it; c’mere, Jen...”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

I skate across the tile, my feet barely touching the floor as I rush to him. And in seconds, I’m eagerly pressing my body into his, locking us into another kiss. He moans and I capture it, before sending the noise back, mewling my utmost need. Having him like this, kissing him so deeply, feeling his erection pressing into me...

I instantly go lightheaded with lust, my body and mind a bursting firework of emotion and feeling.

He must want this as much as I do, because without really giving us time to kiss, he’s leading me backwards and out of the bathroom. I eagerly chase after him, continuing to claim his mouth as we go along, excitement and anticipation rushing through my veins.

We quickly weave back into the bedroom, and the moment we reach the bed, he pivots me so I’m poised against the edge, sitting against it. I’m immediately on the same page as him, and spread my legs wide open with a sigh, welcoming him to be as close as humanly possible. The air quickly perfumes with my scent, and I watch as his eyes roll, taking every bit of me in.

He takes my invitation and steps up between my legs, fiddling with his drawstring pants. In his desperation, our desperation, he pushes both his pants and boxers down just enough to allow his length to spring out.

I take a moment to appreciate him, sighing and smiling at how large he is, at how ready he is for me.

He returns the expression, grinning crookedly, dirtily. I watch with interest and admiration as he takes himself in a hand, pumping a few times with subsequent grunts from his throat. I take my bottom lip into my mouth, before brazenly taking him as well, wrapping my fingers around his length. He lets out a hissing noise through his teeth, which shifts into a groan as I tug him forwards, leading him to my entrance.

I rub his head through my damp, swollen folds, shutting my eyes and savoring the feeling. We both let out moans and gasps, before Josh takes over, giving a small thrust of his hips and nestling the tip of his erection into my depths.

“You want this?” he growls, “You really want-”

“Don’t talk; just fuck me,” I breathe, wrapping a hand around his neck and pressing him to get on with it.

A visible shudder rolls down his form, his eyes rolling slightly once more. When he doesn’t immediately take me, I give the situation more fuel by adding, “...Hard.”

And with that, he brazenly latches his mouth to my neck, and sheathes himself deep inside me with a strong, fluid thrust.

Instantly, I see stars. Just from his entrance alone, I already want to scream in pleasure, my body completely at his mercy. It is absolutely astounding, the difference it makes when I’m experiencing this with a man I truly adore. After years of waiting, years of wanting, it feels like nothing else I’ve experienced before.

Josh goes through with my request. He doesn’t give me time to process things. Right after his initial thrust, he takes me carnally, driving his pelvis into mine again and again. We both sing out our pleasures, utterly delirious with the feelings we’re granting each other. He stretches and pounds me perfectly, and I swallow him up and clench around him with equal precision.

It feels right. It feels so right. It’s like each thrust erases reality away, hoisting me to a place where it’s just Josh and I. It’s like each movement deep within is Josh taking me back, claiming me as his once more. It’s like each hard shove of his length slowly turns the tables back to Hawaii, erasing every trace of my ex and going back to a time where Josh was my only focus.

It’s extraordinary. It’s everything I’ve wanted for the longest time. I could live in it forever.

“Mmmm fuck,” Josh’s pleasured grunt sounds, breaking me out of my trance, “God, Jen...”

“Don’t stop...” I croon back in return, holding on to his neck and riding the force of his movements, “Oh God, Josh...Please don’t stop...”

He certainly doesn’t. If anything, he intensifies his thrusts even more, driving into me so hard that I’m forced to fall back against the mattress. He reaches down to hoist my legs up, grasping my hips to give himself more leverage as he continues his wonderful assault.

I’m writhing and screaming and tossing my head, completely lost in the pleasure he’s giving me. It must be equally as good for him, because he’s far more vocal than I remember, grunting and moaning and yelling my name.

I can feel my release approaching quickly, and for the first time, I don’t want it to hit. I want to prolong this moment as long as I can. I want to have him this close, inside and out, for the rest of my days. But unfortunately, our bodies dominate our minds, racing to orgasm even if we don’t want them to.

When I feel myself beginning to tense, I almost try to fight against it. When I feel Josh’s fingers atop my clit, coaxing me to race ahead of him, I almost want to slap his hand away. But damn if it doesn’t feel divine, his body working me straight to my glorious finish.

I’m overrun with pleasure so intense that I’m surprised my keens don’t break the lights. My entire body explodes with sparks and fire, shooting up from where Josh is touching me to every ounce of my being. My vision whites out, and for a moment, I really do feel like I’ve entered heaven.

But Josh is quick to ground me, just as he always does. I come back just in time to hear his final, cracking yell, before he shoves deep inside me and lets out numerous spurts of his release.

I lay on the bed in a wondrous daze, clenching tightly and swallowing up every last bit of him, like I’m fighting to keep a piece of him forever.

Completely satisfied, completely satiated, and completely exhausted, my eyes droop as the room fades from existence, practically floating on cloud nine. I don’t have the strength to stop Josh from slipping out of me, but he’s quick to fill the gap by flopping down on the bed beside me.

The two of us simply lay drunkenly together in post-coital bliss, the once chaotic room only filled with our quieting pants now.

I don’t think too hard about what we just did. I don’t take anything into consideration. I simply enjoy the moment, appreciating it for what it is.

When Josh crawls further up the bed to rest near the pillows, I lazily follow, nestling my bare, full body against him. He flops an arm atop me, and the moment I snuggle into his chest, it’s no surprise that a much needed slumber overtakes me, falling into a perfectly content rest filled with nothing but the man of my dreams.

xXx

Though I do indeed awake to a rather nasty headache the following, my body feels lighter than the pillows behind my head. I let out a long and content sigh, stretching my limbs and enjoying the warmth still radiating out to my extremities. What happened just hours before still feels like a dream to me, reality not fully sinking back in yet. Still halfway locked in my reveries, I reach out to caress the man beside me, hungering to continue and to never wake up from this.

But when my fingers dust across an empty, cold mattress, I do.

I snap awake, sitting bolt upright in bed. And when the sheets fall off my form, revealing my still-naked body, reality hits with an excruciating force.

Josh is gone.

Josh and I had sex last night.

Oh God.

Anxiety and dismay are both quick to set in. Though I vaguely remember us promising each other that there would be no repercussions, we were obviously too out of our heads to fully commit. Because we’re best friends. Two best friends who are still pretty much linked to other relationships. Two best friends who have been cut deeply by this same thing before.

Oh God.

I wanted it so bad. I wanted him so bad. And as messed up as I was last night, there was no stopping it. I hungered for that little taste of him like nothing else. But for what? Messing us up again? Messing him up?

Shame pours through my veins in droves, manifesting as tears that are quick to coat my vision.

“J-Josh...” I whimper out, praying that he’s in one of the other rooms, that he’ll reply to my call.

My suite is just as empty as my bed.

Moisture pours down my cheeks as I throw myself out of bed, slipping on a robe and searching around. My heart sinks further and further into my stomach the longer and longer I search, the hotel room feeling very much vacated. But as I pass by the window, I catch a glimpse that sends a sob of relief from my throat.

Slowly, cautiously, I open the sliding glass door and step out onto the balcony, next to a rather pensive-looking Josh. Though I’m so glad he didn’t leave, I can’t bear to look at him. I’m feeling increasingly guilty, all the memories and visions of last night pouring in one by one. It was mutual, yes, but I was the one who initiated it, the one who pushed it.

I can feel his eyes on me, his stare forcing more tears out of my own. He continues to look at me, and I know I have to say something. I know I have to apologize.

“We...We shouldn’t have done that...”

I hear his intake of breath, and still feel him staring, so I’m quick to continue, “I mean...I shouldn’t have done that...It was all my fault, Josh, I’m sorry...”

I wait for him to step in with his two cents. I wait for him to chip in with his eloquence and maturity. When I’m left with silence however, I cannot help but sob.

“Josh, I’m...sorry...I was way too worked up last night and....it just...got to me.”

More silence. I’m starting to think nothing I say will come even close to fixing the situation.

“Can...Can we just forget this ever happened?...Please?”

He lets out a long sigh, and finally speaks up, his voice hoarse and low.

“I think that’s easier said than done...”

My composure, as fragile as it’s been over the past couple of days, snaps right in half once more. My sobs pick up, audible hiccuping-noises sounding from my throat and visible shudders rolling down my body. Though my eyes are now shut from the force of my cries, I can practically feel Josh deflate beside me.

“Jen...”

I don’t look at him. I don’t move. A pair of gentle, warm hands on my shoulders however, coax me to do so, beckoning me into my favorite embrace. I’m still devastated, surely, but I feel immensely better that he’s hugging me. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and bury my face into his collar, continuing my weeps and never wanting to let go. To my utmost relief, he holds me back just as firmly, his hands rubbing soft circles against my back.

“I...I didn’t want to...” I hiccup into him.

“Didn’t want to what?”

“I didn’t want to...fuck things up again...for us...I was so...fucking stupid...I’m sorry...”

“You’re...”

I hold my breath as he inhales deeply and lets it out with another long sigh.

“You’re not stupid,” he murmurs, “I acted out of impulse too. I mean, I think it was pretty obvious that I was caught up in the moment as well. So we’re both guilty in that respect.”

My heart flutters a tad at his words, a hint of comfort trickling back in. Anxiety is still in the lead however, making my arms wrap even tighter around him, locking him into my embrace.

“Please don’t leave me...” I moan.

I feel his breath catch, before he hugs me closer as well.

“I’m not going to leave you...”

A particularly sharp sob sounds from me, and I feel one of Josh’s hands venture up to cup the back of my head, cradling me and rubbing his fingers soothingly against my scalp.

“Jen, I’m not going to leave you,” he murmurs firmly, “I promise.”

His words flood me his warmth once more, and I feel my sobs letting up a tad. I snuggle closer into him, nestling my face against his skin.

“I mean,” he starts with huff of laughter through his nose, “What’s a drunken fuck between two friends?”

I cannot help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, shaking my head at the both of us.

“God, Josh...Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

“Yeah, but I guess we’ve never been ones for being normal,” he huffs again, before his voice takes a more serious tone, “And it’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

I let out another puff of mirth, but my heart sinks again as his last words do. I chew my lip for a moment, before leaning back in his arms, meeting his eyes for the first time this morning. When I’m met with the usual gentleness, the usual warmth swirling around his hazel depths, I gain the strength to continue.

“You’re more to me than just...a rebound, by the way...”

His eyes search through mine, blue and hazel silently communicating.

“I didn’t just jump on you to forget Nick...There was more to it than that...I just...”

The truth poises itself on my tongue. The need to admit my true feelings wells up dangerously in my chest. But as per usual, it all crashes, my body deflating as the truth blips away once again.

“I don’t know...”

“Regardless of why it happened, what’s done is done,” he says, still continuing to rub my back, “So how about we just...try and look past this?”

I can feel my heart crack a tad at the missed opportunity. Another chance to be with Josh, gone, obliterated. But inwardly I know he’s right. Inwardly, I know we have to, for the sake of our friendship at least.

“It’s going to be weird...”

“Maybe at first,” he agrees, before I see that teasing glimmer in his eye, “I mean after all, I’ve seen my ‘annoying sister’ naked. And we ended up doing it. Pretty hard to look past that.”

“Josh!” I gasp, rolling my eyes with a groan that eventually shifts into a few huffy rounds of laughter, “Oh God...Why’d you have to bring up the fucking annoying sister thing again...I hate that. And you just made things worse.”

“No I didn’t!” he chuckles, “We’re from Kentucky. Totally normal.”

“Jesus,” I laugh, “You’re awful.”

We both laugh together, chasing the anxiety within away. It comforts me immensely that we’re still able to banter as we do, even after such a life-changing incident.

When we quiet down, smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes again, I have to proclaim at least something.

“You mean a lot to me, Joshy...”

His stare softens, his smile turning solemn and gentle.

“You mean a lot to me, too. There was no way in hell I was going to throw you away over a slip up.”

My smile must fade a tad, because he’s quick to add, “A mutual slip up.”

Tears well up in my eyes again, but they’re happier, relieved. Even though yes, I am still worried about the future, worried about if this will end up impacting us in any way, it comforts me tremendously to know that Josh is still by my side.

“Thank you...” I whisper, throwing myself back into his arms.

“You’re welcome...”

He inhales as if he’s going to continue, but instead settles on hugging me back in return.

I don’t think much of it, simply glad that we’re okay, that nothing erupted from our impulsive act of passion. As I continue to embrace him under the light of the rising sun, bathing in warmth and contentedness, I can finally feel myself starting to relax.

I guess things will be okay after all.

[asterinjapan]

Red is the color

Good evening again!

It’s starting to cool down a little here in the Kansai region, which in practice means that we’re almost considering 35 C ‘cool’ now, pff. Apparently today is predicted to be actually worse in the Netherlands though, so good luck with that!

A slightly different report today, as my friend and I split ways in Kyoto.

I purposefully made that sound really dramatic, because it really wasn’t, haha. Here we go for a two-sided walk in Kyoto!

You see, my friend had decided to visit the famous Fushimi Inari Taisha before she was even sure she’d go to Japan this summer. It is very popular, after all: it was named the best trip in Japan for several years in a row, or something or another that they proudly proclaimed on a banner. So obviously, she couldn’t miss out on this on her first trip to Japan! And it truly is worth a visit. 

So first, we took the train to Kyoto. Theoretically you can take the JR Kyoto train or something, but why do that when you have a JR pass and take the shinkansen to be there in 15 minutes? Exactly. So, we hopped on the Kodama shinkansen (meaning ‘echo’) and zoomed over to Kyoto, where we had to transfer to the local Nara line. Luckily it had just arrived for us, so two stops later, we arrived at our destination: Inari station.

The station itself is already appropriately themed, in case you were still wondering why all those tourists were taking a local train through the outskirts of Kyoto: all the bars are red. The station itself is tiny, so there was quite a queue to leave it, but once outside, you’re immediately confronted with the biggest draw here. A giant red torii gate shimmering across the road, marking the entrance to the Grand Shrine of Fushimi Inari. It’s one of many, many of those gates, and I bet that if you ever saw a commercial for holidays in Japan, it’s one of the images they’ve used to lure you in. Inari is the name of the mountain as well as of the god of rice and business, and a miles long trail of red gates leads you all the way to the top. Those gates are bought by companies, families or private persons and inscribed with their names and the year of donation, which gets pretty funny when you start spotting very modern names like, Panasonic or something.

Obviously we first took a lot of pictures posing with the gates, although we also inevitably had pictures of fifty other people attempting the same. We followed the trail leading up through the forest, and then paused for a little to have some melon pan we’d bought beforehand. (Melon pan means melon bread, named so for its shape and not its taste. It’s pretty sweet bread, so naturally I’d convinced my friend this was something she absolutely had to try.) At this point though, I was looking up and saw the tons and tons of stairs that led all the way to the top of the mountain, whereas before it had only been an uphill road. I knew that was a tad too ambitious for me this week, so this is where my friend and I parted ways. She was going to make her way to the top of the mountain, while I was trailing back to take the train a few stops further ahead. We agreed to meet up at the entrance of the shrine by 2:30 and went our separate ways.

(Oh, and before you call me a weakling – I’ve already walked the entire trail twice before, so I can definitely do it, haha.)

As said, I walked back to the station, where the train arrived just as I reached the platform, so that was nice! I rode it for a whole 7 minutes to make my way to Momoyama station. It’s a tiny station, and there was no-one at the manned gate, which meant that I couldn’t show my JR pass to get out of the station. I had to ring a bell and then show my pass to a camera, pff.

Anyway, I got to go through and made my way to my new destination – Fushimi-Momoyama Castle! Yep, another castle. I actually didn’t know this one existed until a couple of months ago, when I’d downloaded an app to keep track of Japanese castles (because of course I had an app for that). I was browsing the Kyoto area to find a castle I’d never heard of before. That would be Fushimi Castle, or Fushimi-Momoyama Castle.

I’m not the only one who hadn’t heard of it before, because there was barely any signage, and the parking lot was so deserted I was starting to wonder if the area was even open. I saw some people walking in the distance, so I shrugged and walked on.

As it turns out, there’s a baseball field in this park as well, which gave me slight paranoia as our hotel got invaded last night by a huge group of baseball players. This morning, we had to wait out 4 elevators because all of them were full of said baseball players, so I was getting kinda twitchy at the mention of the sport, haha. (Turns out there’s a high school championship going on at the Koshien stadium in the next prefecture over, so maybe they’re just here for that and I can spot them on TV. There’s a lot of baseball on TV this week, so…)

No matter the baseball though, because a huge entrance gate suddenly showed up in between the trees. The castle grounds were open, although the castle itself is closed and there are warning signs that you shouldn’t get too close in case of falling debris. You see, Fushimi Castle has a bit of an unfortunate history. The current construction dates back to the 1960s: the original castle was intended to be the retirement home for Toyotomi Hideyoshi, a famous war lord and one of the unifiers of Japan. Fushimi Castle was furnished beautifully unlike other castles, since it was supposed to be a home instead of a defensive structure, and it was famous for its golden tea room. Alas, within two years an earthquake destroyed the castle. It was rebuilt, but it played a pivotal role in what turned out to be decisive battle in Japanese history, after which it quickly got dismantled again. Parts of the castle were then used in temples around Kyoto. (Fun fact: these temples used the floor boards of Fushimi Castle as their ceilings. A big group of samurai had committed ritual suicide after the last battle and their blood stains (including a bloody hand print) can still be seen on those ceilings even now. Sweet dreams tonight! Hey, I did say red is the color for today…)

Anyway, the former site of the castle is now sacred ground as the tomb of Emperor Meiji rests here and cannot be entered. The castle itself was rebuilt a little further ahead as a museum in the 1960s and served as a part of a theme park called ‘Castle Land’, but it was closed in 2003. The castle remains closed to this day, but the area is accessible and so you can just wander around in the park like area and take a bunch of photos as you please. And it’s super quiet! It’s a stark contrast to Fushimi Inari Taisha, as I spent quite a while here and saw maybe 10 other people in total, tops, including a father and a son who seemed more preoccupied catching bugs than looking at the castle, haha.

The skies turned blue after a while, allowing me to take some very nice shots. The castle probably looked better in the past: one of the giant fish on top was missing, and some roof tiles were sliding off, so I can imagine it can be dangerous to get too close.

Still, though, I really liked this detour. I actually planned on seeing the original site for as much as possible, but I got distracted by a plate for a different tomb/mausoleum: that of Emperor Kanmu, who ruled at the end of the 8th century and was the one who moved the capital city to Kyoto (Heian back in the days), where it would remain for over a thousand years until the capital eventually moved to Tokyo in 1868.

Although the first few dozen of emperors of Japan cannot be proven, Kanmu has been verified to have actually existed, so I was pretty excited to be this close to such an old part of history. Even if all there was to see was a stone torii gate in the distance, marking the entrance to the tomb. Sacred grounds, you see…

I didn’t stick around for very long, but it was an interesting little side step. Actually I met an older couple here, coming over from Osaka, who seemed very excited to find me here of all places and speaking Japanese to boot, haha. So that was a nice chance to practice my Japanese a little, which is not as atrocious as I was fearing, even if my vocabulary leaves a lot to be desired.

On my way back, I stumbled upon the Nogi Shrine, dedicated to general Nogi who took his own life after the funeral of Emperor Meiji in an ultimate gesture of loyalty. What a fun visit so far, huh… Anyway, it definitely felt like a much more modern shrine, with horse statues and some brick parts. I didn’t spend long here, but the shrine buildings were a nice change of pace during my return to Momoyama station. (I also stumbled upon a plaque warning for Japanese giant hornets, so after that I jumped out of my skin every time something even remotely resembling a flying insect came across me, haha.)  

As it turned out, my friend had returned from the mountain victorious as she’d made it to the top, and we arrived at almost exactly the same time at our meeting place. We browsed the souvenir stalls a bit before deciding to call it a day and headed back to Kyoto, where we exchanged our respective stories over drinks and took the shinkansen back to Shin-Osaka.

When we went out for dinner (omu rice! Rice covered in omelet, haha), it was 28 C outside! Gasp! That honestly felt cold to the touch, it’s incredible. Weather forecasts are consistently predicting 33-35 C for the upcoming week, which is still hot, but much more doable than 38+ C.

So we made plans for tomorrow and then went to our rooms, from which I’m typing this blog right now, haha.

Keeping tomorrow a surprise, but there won’t be any castles for once, wow! See you~

[madehq]

Digital Here to Stay 

At 1AM on Friday, October 9th, I got a group text from a playwright friend: Broadway was once again pushing back its reopening date to June 1st, 2021. 

I wish I could say it came as a surprise. Only a couple weeks earlier the Metropolitan Opera cancelled its 20/21 season, and anyone who’s remotely considered event logistics in the past 6-7 months could rattle off a hundred hurdles involved in reopening any kind of venue. That list grows exponentially when the venue houses a minimum of 500 people in a city where you’re lucky to get 6 inches let alone 6 feet. Rather than shocking the community, this announcement reiterated once again that the performing arts industry will be one of the last to return. So it’s time for organizations to ensure their digital solutions are going to service long-term needs, and seize underlying opportunities.

One Step at a Time

Performing arts’ biggest strength has been the live in live theater. It’s a double-edged sword: creating economic barriers and gatekeeping for many, but also generating a unique high for those that are able to experience it even on a small scale such as school recitals, or indie theater. At the beginning of the pandemic, artists at every level of the industry rapidly pivoted to produce content without its biggest strength. 

Zoom became prevalent not just for teleconferencing, but for digital events and classes. One of the most common requests I’ve gotten in the past few months is “can we embed a Zoom link in our order confirmation?” (the answer is “yes”). But while artists explored radio dramas, wrote plays specifically for digital forums, held digital festivals, and tried to make do, the focus was always on what it would look like to return home. As often as I’ve been asked about embedding links in confirmation emails, many organizations have opted to hold off on radical changes because of the ever shifting landscape and the knowledge that the current state of affairs is temporary. 

Last Friday’s announcement makes it clear that “temporary” is going to last a lot longer than we hoped. Even regions that are beginning to reopen for outdoor or distanced performances need to find a way to cater to patrons that cannot safely return to venues, and contend with the impending arrival of winter. This is no longer about creating a safety checklist, and measuring the width of seats. Top to bottom, organizations must consider digital viability in all programming for the next year. We can no longer say “hold, please” to infrastructure changes that will support the performing arts during the rest of this pandemic, particularly when it has the potential to increase accessibility across the board.

Plan Ahead

Distance makes planning even more important than when leadership was able to collaborate in person. In a normal year, every production season is planned to suit a wide variety of audiences, tastes, and artistic messages. Once shows are selected, resources are allocated and accounted for. A formal delay in the return to venues means these conversations now need to include digital logistics. Content curation must consider what pieces will work best when performers must be distanced or in completely different locations. Think carefully before slating a piece that requires physical intimacy or confrontation, consider smaller pieces over large ensemble productions.

No matter what content is selected, organizations should get in the habit of identifying opportunities for content creation. For many organizations, the Watch & Listen section was a repository for the passionate user, and good for SEO, but not a priority. Other organizations were only able to record content for archival purposes rather than public consumption. The early days of the pandemic quickly revealed this produced a gap between the potential of the digital space, and the available content. As we continue to oscillate between digital and physical spaces, and reach out to patrons who cannot safely attend performances, generating assets and high quality recordings will be a priority.

A 5-Star Hotel, not a Bates Motel

Digital content is a great way to continue to foster relationships with patrons while in-person interaction is limited or impossible, so organizations must ensure that the experience is a positive one. If you don’t have a natural home for videos already, start having conversations with hosting platforms to see which might be the right fit for you and your website. Consider whether you want to make the jump towards OTT platforms which allow users to access content on other devices rather than being tethered to a phone or computer. Whether you’re new, or a seasoned digital veteran, keep an eye on analytics to identify pain points in the digital path. Ensure that the journey through your content is a curated, and welcoming experience for patrons. Just as you would provide users with additional event information before expecting them to book, avoid abandoning users in a vast sea of videos with no context. Your event pages likely don’t bury the link to purchasing tickets, similarly your video landing pages should make it easy for users to choose what they want to watch and navigate to other recommended content. 

Nice to E-Meet You

While it is tempting to stick with known, and familiar faces during uncertain times, the pandemic has also raised a fear that the performing arts will become even more exclusive. Organizations must take advantage of the opportunity to diversify and expand their network of collaborators and audience members. With no additional travel or housing costs, organizations can now reach and collaborate with people that would have been inaccessible before. Use this to your advantage - increase the diversity of the artists you work with and collaborate with organizations around the world that are succeeding in producing theater that represents their audience. Revel in the fact you can now compete for audiences that are outside a one hour drive of your venue. Expand your community and make your art more accessible to everyone so that when we are able to return, you’ll have an even wider community. 

White Noise or Unique Contribution

The performing arts doesn’t have to beat Netflix at its own game, we need to stand apart. Before the pandemic every million dollar media company in entertainment was already entering the “streaming wars.” 10 years ago there was Netflix and YouTube, now there is a specialized streaming service for every channel and category of content clamoring for people’s cash and attention. It can be daunting for nonprofits to enter the ring without the massive production budgets available to cinema and television unless you remember what makes live art precious. 

A live event is a unique blend of elements that can be recorded, but never be replicated. Even shows with extended runs will never have the same performance twice whether it’s a stubborn wig, a backstage prank, or the crash of thunder outside. Live art is real. There’s no CGI, no second take, it is all happening before your eyes. Hollywood spends millions of dollars every year trying to replicate reality by using extended takes and marketing multi-class actors doing their own stunts. I’ve binged more Netflix than I care to admit during the past 7 months, I’ve cried and cheered at my local AMC, but theater brings an audience together down to its pulse. And I get the same buzz of nerves before a digital performance that I did putting on my makeup in a utility closet turned green room, because live art done right is lightning in a bottle. 

Nothing can be accomplished overnight. Everything I’ve mentioned is a long term commitment to the digital sphere, and there will be many trials before we reach tribulations. No matter how successful, none of this will replace live theater. It never could. Under the current timeline, Broadway will be shuttered for a total of 14 months, and smaller theaters are unlikely to lead a charge that Broadway won’t. An entire year, both creatively and financially, will be gone and many organizations with it. Broadway’s announcement sent only the most recent national wave of grief through the performing arts industry. Audiences are hurting over the loss of these shared experiences that made up their community. Hundreds of thousands of artists are yearning not just to perform, but to create and play without endangering ourselves. We miss creating with our friends and colleagues. We miss watching their performative joy, pain, and skill. But while we grieve, reality waits, and it is your responsibility to make sure that if you can survive, you do everything possible to thrive.

[dipulb3]

Dropbox is making its workforce 'virtual first.' Here's what that means

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/dropbox-is-making-its-workforce-virtual-first-heres-what-that-means/

Dropbox is making its workforce 'virtual first.' Here's what that means

The company’s nearly 3,000 employees will continue to work remotely most of the time, but will occasionally go into the office for more collaborative and team-building work. To help facilitate this, the company will revamp its offices, turning them into what it calls “Dropbox Studios.”

The company will remove individual desks and create more space for collaboration.

“Folks doing individual daily work, that happens from home or from co-working spaces,” said Melanie Collins, vice president of people. “[Dropbox Studios] are really explicitly for things like strategy setting, team building, community events, leadership development training,”

The company decided against a hybrid approach that would allow workers to choose if and when they want to be in the office because it feared it could potentially create an unequal playing field among workers, Collins explained.

Read Appradab Business’ full interview with Collins about this switch below.

(Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity)

What will the future of work look like for Dropbox employees?

In short, Dropbox is becoming a virtual first company. It means that remote work is the primary experience for all of our employees globally. Because we know human connection is still critical in terms of building high-performing teams, we will invest in collaborative spaces designed for team-gathering and community-building, instead of a collection of desks you go to every day. These will be called Dropbox Studios

Why is this a better approach to the hybrid approach?

We believe that virtual first is just a more opinionated point of view on remote work. It is different from what other companies are doing which is hybrid remote, which is really popular: This is where employees choose whether or not to work out of the office.

We had reservations on this model because it perpetuates two very different employee experiences that could result in issues with things like inclusion or inequity with respect to performance or career trajectory and this really was a non-starter for us. We really wanted to preserve this level playing field that we’ve all experienced since working remotely in our future of work model.

Will there be a set schedule of when people come into the office?

Folks doing individual daily work that happens from home or from co-working spaces. Dropbox Studios are not for individual work, it’s not for drop-in or desk hoteling. It really is explicitly for things like strategy setting, team building, community events, leadership development training.

Will you allow employees to relocate?

Yes, absolutely. Because of this model, with remote work being the primary experience that actually gives folks more freedom in how they work in terms of scheduling but also where they work. We will be encouraging relocation for folks with this new model. We want them to work where it makes sense for them.

What will these new studios look like compared to the current office arrangement?

Currently, our office spaces are a mix of individual desks and meeting rooms and collaboration spaces. We have rooms that are entirely floor-to-ceiling white boards, large conference rooms and small conference rooms and sort of a mix. And so, if you can picture the future, no more individual desks at all. Think of it is an entire space with multiple collaboration spaces in it.

How often will workers be called into the office?

It’s really for you to work out a rhythm with your team. For my team, for example, I want to get my leadership team together once a quarter to do things like strategic planning and team building. We will agree on what day we will meet at one of our studio hubs for that event.

Are you going to downsize your real estate?

We are working on finalizing our long-term real estate strategy now. We also plan for our team to work from home until at least June of next year so we have a little bit of time to sort through this. But our goal is to support studios in all cities that we currently have large concentrations of employees, so this could be repurposing our current offices or investing in new or on-demand spaces that we leverage as we become more distributed.

Has collaboration been a pain point for remote workers?

I think the biggest problem with this is we assume collaboration has to take place live or synchronously, so we just get on another Zoom call. This notion of Zoom fatigue is real — we are on calls back-to-back for eight or nine hours a day and that just results in burnout, which is a hindrance to getting work done. So as we think about this pivot to an orientation around remote work, we really want to rebuild our rhythms and social contracts. We really want to shift our mindsets around work. This virtual first strategy gives us the chance to develop better habits about when and how we meet.

Shifting from quick live snycs, to going asynchronous by default. So trying to solve problems over tools, like email or Slack versus in a live meeting. We will also be giving explicit guidance on when meetings should be scheduled, guidelines on what requires a meeting, what could have been an email. And so meetings for things like complex problems or sensitive topics we want to empower our employees to get work done without the need to be on a Zoom. And we also want to give tips on how to use our various communication tools.

What does this mean for workers who don’t want to work remote?

There are some home setups that are simply not conducive to being able to do great work. We are going to basically stand up a flexible-first allowance and this enables folks to make deliberate choices on how they want to spend that perk stipend. So if you wanted to spend that on a co-working space, we would help sponsor that. This may not be aligned to employees’ preferences. When they joined Dropbox they didn’t join a remote company, so we are making this pivot kind of halfway through here and so we know that this might not be for everyone and we understand and we are just hoping that employees give us a shot.

[mintyvan]

28 - home alone

This is an original that’s been marinating in my google drive for a really long time... like, since I started this blog a little over four months ago. I figured since I’ve still got a little bit to go on the current request, I’d dig this one out to hold you over until the next one is posted!

premise Young Van and reader are going out, but are new to ~things~. One day, they find themselves home alone! Awkward, fluffy, embarrassing, and a little bit funny.

___________________

Van wasn't listening to music, which wasn't, in itself, especially noteworthy, except that he had his headphones in; it was all a clever ruse, one that he had cultivated over many years of getting people to leave him alone. It was the first day he had off of playing little gigs in weeks, and he had arranged to meet you in the bed & breakfast after you got out of school. Mary had an irritating habit of wanting Van to work if he was in proximity, even if he had time off, so deception was necessary if he were to sit behind the counter and fend off Mary's attempts at getting him to serve guests. He situated himself behind the counter at an angle that allowed him a view of the direction you would be coming from and absentmindedly staring out the window. This way, it looked to Mary like Van was at least trying to help and was doing a bad job of it, when, in reality, he wasn't trying to help and he wasn't exerting himself. Victory: Van McCann.

Mary passed behind him, grumbling loudly, and Van just stared, furrowing his brow in apparent concentration. He even let his mouth hang open a little. In his peripheral vision, he saw Mary stop at his side, hands on her hips. Mary gestured to Van and then to the counter, where a guest was waiting. Van tilted his head at the iPod he wasn’t listening to and rested his chin on his fist.

"Van."

"Huh."

"Are you going to help?" Mary indicated the guest with a few quick jabs of her finger.

Van pivoted his head to look at Mary and then at the customer. He scrunched his face up and turned his attention back to the iPod. "I wouldn't bet on it."

"Van."

The corner of his mouth quirked up and he brought the iPod closer to his face. "Hang on," he drawled. "I just want to finish this son-" The bell rang and he looked up to see you come through the door.

"I'm leaving," he announced, suddenly at attention, tucking his iPod into his back pocket and rounding the counter to meet you.

"Oh no," Mary deadpanned. "How will I get anything done without you here?"

"Hey, you're the one who gave me the day off," Van said, hands raised defensively. You gave him a peck on the cheek. He tugged at your ponytail and kissed your forehead.

Mary sighed, tossing the order pad on the counter. "I hoped that maybe you'd use the time to study."

"You should have stipulated. Can't take it back now – Y/N's here. You'd make her sad."

Mary looked vaguely disgusted. "You'd be sad not to spend time with him?" You swiveled your attention from Van to Mary, sticking out your bottom lip and making the most pathetic baby rabbit eyes you could muster. Mary winced. "Fine, go."

"Thank you, Mother Mary," Van singsonged, putting his arm around you and guiding you out of the bed & breakfast. He leaned close to your ear as they walked down the steps into the sidewalk. "I'm glad you finally learned how to use that pout for the forces of good."

"Well, you hardly ever have an entire afternoon off."

"So you do miss me?" he asked, pressing his lips to your temple.

"Yes, actually. You work a lot, whether it be at the B&B or doing shows cross-country." You took hold of the hand he had draped over your shoulder, lacing your fingers together. Your other arm looped around his back, your hand resting on his hip.

"I'm industrious and motivated."

"When it comes to your passions."

He shrugged, defensive irritation prickling at the skin between his shoulder blades. He didn't want to argue. You really didn't get to see each other for significant blocks of time anymore, with your school work and his two jobs and intermittent school attendance. "So, what do you want to do now that you've got access to me? Movie?"

You tugged on his fingers. "It's Thursday."

"Yes it is."

"I have school tomorrow."

"So do I."

You snorted. "Well, I actually plan on being prepared for it. By doing my homework." His brow furrowed. It sounded like you were trying to get out of doing anything with him, but you’d been excited about today since he told you he had it completely free of Catfish prep. You saw the look on his face and continued quickly, "I just don't have time for a movie is all. We could do something else."

"OK. What did you have in mind?"

You shrugged. "Nothing, really. I just want to get changed first, and then we can figure it out."

He turned to peer at you, which he thought was an impressive accomplishment when his face was about two inches from yours. You had to crane your neck back to look him in the eye.

"What?" you asked. He raised an eyebrow.

"You're being vague. It's not like you to be vague, unless you're hidin’ something. You're hidin’ something!" You opened your mouth to protest, but he continued, "What is it, a surprise get together with your entire extended family? Did your mom install a trap door inside your room that leads to the gates of hell, that will be triggered only by my DNA?"

"Van," you groaned, butting your head against his chin. "Stop."

"Fine," he muttered, kissing the edge of your mouth, which curved upward. He moved across your cheek to your jaw, and your fingers wiggled between his. Pretty soon he wasn't thinking about the plans for the rest of the day, distracted by the soft curve of your neck. He trusted you to guide your bodies in a straight line, fixing his attention on the feel and scent of your skin, not caring when you didn't warn him about an upcoming curb and he stumbled. He could feel your soft laughter traveling up your throat and vibrating against his lips. You squealed when he kissed behind your ear at your hairline, scrunching up your shoulder and pulling away.

"Oh God, that tickles!" You tried to lean out of his reach, but you kept your hold tight around his waist.

"Not supposed to tickle," he mumbled into your throat. "Supposed to turn you on."

You made a soft pfft noise and bumped him lightly with your hip. He continued kissing under your jawline until you pushed lightly at his chest. "Van, seriously!" He straightened with a sigh, arching an eyebrow at you.

"Don't give me that look," you said. "It's very distracting when you do that. Why is it that I always have to be the one to navigate, anyway? One of these days, I should get to be the one who latches onto your neck like a lamprey and you'll have to keep focused and get us safely from one destination to another."

"That'd never work," he said seriously, shaking his head, and you gave a little indignant scoff. "Trust me, you, I don't care that much about gettin’ anywhere. If you did that to me, we'd just have to give up on going wherever we were headed. So, it naturally falls to you, the responsible one, to be in charge of walkin’."

"Because if I left it to you, we'd just stand in the spot where we started and make out all day."

"Yep. Or, you know. Other things."

You laughed loudly. "Really, Van? In the middle of town?"

"Wherever you'd let me."

You were blushing but still smiling.

"Well," you said, ducking your head, "I'm not quite ready for exhibitionism just yet. If you can wait until we get to my house, I promise I'll make it worth your while."

Van snorted. "Great, so we can make out in front of your mom? I know you two are close, but that's where I draw a line."

You smiled at him, a small inscrutable smile that spoke of things you knew and he didn't. He lifted his eyebrows at you questioningly, but you ignored the gesture, turning your head forward. His interest piqued. Van thought that maybe you both could duck out somewhere after you got most of your homework done. Your mum would know, because she always knew, but she'd probably let you get away with no more than the disapproving I'm onto you look she always fixed on Van these days. He wanted to be irritated by it, but, if he was honest with himself, your mum was right. Van had very naughty things on his mind, pretty much all of the time.

"Why are you looking so smug?" you asked, digging your fingers into his side.

He couldn't help smirking. "Do I look smug?"

You gave him an appraising look. "Frequently."

"Well," he snorted, spreading his hand out helplessly, "I don't know what to tell you, because I feel so humble."

You scoffed. "Right. That's the vibe I usually get." You affected a deep, laid-back voice. "Van McCann. Humble. Cool. Writes three songs a night and plays guitar and loves tea and bananas. Because he's just that cool."

"Alright, that's it," Van said, leaning down to kiss your neck. You blocked his face with your hand and giggled and he tried to pull you around to get better access to your face,  neck, and the little dip of exposed skin at the collarbone. You staggered haphazardly down the road like that, finally becoming aware of surroundings when you stumbled and Van almost fell over you. You held on to each other for support, your fingers curled into his shirt at his waist, one of your thumbs hooked into his belt loop.

You glanced around, breathless. "Oh, home!" you cried, letting go of Van to head down the path. He sighed and turned after you, scratching the back of his head and feeling acutely aware of all the places on his body that had been pressing up against you but weren't anymore.

You sort of jog-skipped through your yard and up the steps of the porch, arms flapping oddly by your sides. He'd never seen anyone so abysmal at doing anything remotely related to physical exertion. As he walked after you, he noticed that the yard was empty. No car. No mother. He looked up at you, where you were waiting for him at the door with a look of triumph.

"I win!" you said, sounding a little giddy.

Van studied you, smirking. He indicated the empty yard with a wave of his hand and raised his eyebrows. "No mum?"

You scanned the yard as though noticing it yourself for the first time. "Huh," you said lightly, and pushed through the door.

He watched you go in the house, mind racing. A lot of thoughts were running through his head, but the most important were: you, house, and alone. He practically sprinted up the steps after you, surprised that you were already in the kitchen by the time he got inside. You dropped your backpack and took off your school sweater, tossing it into your bedroom. Van lingered in the archway, watching you expectantly. You said nothing and wouldn't meet his eye. Very suspicious.

"How long is your mum going to be gone?" he asked, shuffling cautiously into the room, checking around corners as though expecting her to pop out and surprise him.

You circled around to the opposite side of the room so the table separated you from him. "For being alone in a house with your girlfriend, you seem awfully interested in my mother." You tugged the elastic band out of your hair, shaking your fingers through it casually.

Van grabbed the back of a chair, leaning over it toward you. "Well, your mother's whereabouts and the duration of her absence have a direct bearing on what I do with my girlfriend in an empty house."

"Oh, you think so?"

He gave you a serious look. "Y/N."

"You want a soda? I'm thirsty." You turned around and opened the refrigerator, sticking your head behind the door. Van got the feeling you were laughing at him.

He couldn't quite figure out what was going on. You were being a lot more playful than usual, and he had it at about a fifty/fifty chance that either something terrible was going to befall him, or he was actually alone in a house with you for an afternoon. Banking on the latter, he decided to play along and pulled out the chair he was leaning on. He took the iPod out of his pocket and tossed it on the table, plopping down in the seat.

"Sure, I'll take something to drink."

You emerged with two soda cans and walked around the table to stand in front of him, placing both of the drinks on the table and crossing your hands behind your back. "And, since you were wondering," you said, "Mum has to stay at the inn tonight because of a big conference thing. She'll be there until at least seven. Happy birthday."

A slow smile spread across his face. "My birthday's not for months."

You swiveled your hips back and forth and shrugged, still not quite meeting his eyes. "Whoops."

You leaned down to kiss him, bringing your arms forward to hook your fingers in the holes in his sweater. You tugged him, pulling his shoulders away from the back of the chair, and he responded gladly, gripping your waist with both hands. There was nothing playful here, just a heady lust that drove all thoughts from his mind except for you – your smell, your lips, the crisp crinkle of your school shirt between his fingers.

You pulled back, exerting just enough pressure against his chest to let him know that he was supposed to let you break the kiss, and you lingered there, close enough that he could easily tilt in and drag his tongue over your bottom lip. You studied his face closely, searching for something, he guessed, but he didn't know what and his mind was buzzing too pleasantly to care. After a moment of just watching each other, he was ready to dip his head and kiss you again, but you straightened, keeping your hands fisted in his shirt.

You put your knee on the chair, just next to his leg, and he cocked his head at you. You mirrored his tilt of the head, mouth crooking upward in a self-conscious smirk, and brought your other leg up to rest on the chair so you were kneeling over him. Van grinned at you, dragging his hands down to the small of your back and pulling you closer. You scooted forward until you were fully straddling him, knees bumping the back of the chair and just your feet dangling over the edge of the seat.

Van laughed, feeling almost elated with surprise at your boldness. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but he wasn't about to question it, so he kissed you. You brought your hands up to cup his face, curling your fingers over his ears and then spreading them into his long hair. He worked down your chin to your jaw and neck, lingering at the base of your throat.

"Miss Y/N," Van murmured against your collarbone, "sitting in the lap of a delinquent? This town has come to expect better from you, and, as such, the board is issuing you a citation. For unsanctioned use of Van McCann as a chair."

You laughed, quiet and hot in the hollow of his ear, twining your fingers in his flippy hair at the base of his skull. "Van," you said, lips pulling at his earlobe, "the only times you ever talk too much are exactly the times I'd rather you shut up entirely."

"Another citation," he said, because he couldn't help himself, because he was an ass, "for being saucy."

You sat back, looking him directly in the eye, and for a second Van worried that he might have actually pissed you off. "Shh," you commanded, and set to work keeping him quiet by covering his mouth with your own.

He found the top button of your shirt and undid it, sliding his fingers inside to tickle the warm skin just below your collar. He plucked open three more buttons, not doing more than brushing his hands lightly over the exposed skin. You sucked his bottom lip between your teeth, biting him lightly. His fingers slid down your body to rest on the tops of your thighs, and he ran the heels of his hands up your leg, bunching your skirt to your hips. This was where you would stop him, he thought, you would pull away and say his name softly and he would return to safe territory, although, he thought with a private smirk, he was good at making anything dangerous.

You didn't react the way he expected, though. You shifted, breathing in sharply, and pushed up, pressing your hipbones into his palms. He felt a little lightheaded, the result of surprise and most of the blood draining from his brain to his crotch. He groaned into your mouth and dipped his hands under the hem of your skirt, rubbing against the soft cotton of your underwear.

Your mouth slid left of his, lips and tongue leaving a wet trail on his cheek as you whispered his name shakily. He took that as an invitation to go further, and he dug his fingers into the curve of your ass, running his thumbs over the sharp jut of your hipbones. You kissed his jaw sloppily with trembling lips, working your way down to his neck. Van cracked his eyes open, tilting his head back to grant you better access, and watched the ceiling blearily.

"Well played," he slurred. "Now you are the lamprey."

He could feel you smile against his neck and the warm brush of air that was your laughter. "And now I see," you said, voice muffled and quivery, "just how useless you would be if I did this to you while we were walking down the street."

He wanted to say something witty, but all he could think about was that if you ever kissed him like this in public, even if it were in the middle of the bed & breakfast and his mother was feet away, they wouldn't go any farther than the floor. So he just said, "Huh," lightly, and let his eyes drift shut.

This was maybe the first time he could remember you taking any kind of initiative, apart from the impulsive first kiss, which was something of a bittersweet memory. You weren't generally shy about physical contact, not since you'd gotten over the initial awkwardness long ago, and you were very receptive to his exploration, but you didn't explore in turn. You didn't bring him over to your empty house and straddle him. And you certainly didn't sway your hips back and forth while sitting in his lap, rubbing a tentative rhythm against the fly of his dark jeans.

You couldn't be aware that you were doing it, because, as far as he knew, you really did like him, and would rather not see him die from a fit of boner-induced apoplexy. But then your knees pressed in, clamping tight around his hips, and he wondered if maybe his girlfriend was evil or just sending him signals that you were ready to do more than you had. His mind was flooded with images he didn't let himself entertain except in his quietest, most private moments that came all too rarely – fuck Mary for renovating his room for the bed and breakfast but not giving him any walls so he could jerk off in peace – and a weak moan escaped his dry throat. He flicked at the elastic on your underwear with his thumbs. It would be so easy, he thought. It was vivid in his imagination – all he had to do was unbutton, unzip, and move aside two inches of cotton.

But they hadn't talked about it and he knew, in one small rational part of his brain that was still functioning, that it would be too much too fast. Even if you wanted to, even if you suggested it, it was too big of a leap from your relatively innocent fumblings to sex. He refused to be something you regretted. Apart from which, he didn't have any condoms on him, fuckity fuck.

With enormous regret, he let go of that fantasy, and turned his attention instead to something that was workable. You were obviously feeling adventurous, and, at some point, had decided you wanted to do the sort of things that might happen between teenagers who had a house to themselves without giving him an indication that you had come to that decision. At least, he thought, brow furrowed, not as far as he was aware. He straightened, poking gently at your ass to get your attention away from his neck. You sat back and gave him an annoyed look that almost made him laugh. He tucked just the tips of his thumbs under the elastic at the top of your thighs and stroked the flesh there, running down the joints where your legs met your pelvis. He lifted his eyebrows. "I have an idea," he said playfully, quietly.

Your eyebrows drew together instantly, breathing shallow and quick. "I," you paused, "I was planning actually on maybe doing something else?" Your voice increased in pitch with every word, so by the time you reached the end of the sentence you sounded comically childlike. Van laughed, almost dizzy with distraction. Trust you to make plans about this sort of thing.

"All right, what were you thinking?"

You looked away, fingers clutching his shirt. You glanced back at him and then down at his lap, embarrassed. "Um. Just…" you trailed off and dragged your hand around his waist, trailing fingertips lightly over the bulge in his pants. He thought he might have gone crosseyed. You looked at him from under your eyelashes. "Not, you know, everything, but we've been dating for a while and I've never… I've never…." You huffed and frowned. "You have done some very nice things," you said, "that I've never …had done before. And I was thinking, I've never… done anything like that for you." You tilted your face up to look him straight on, expression terrified. Your thumb was pressing against the button of his fly and he was going to explode. Metaphorically and possibly also in his pants, which would be a pretty inauspicious end to something that started with such promise.

He wondered dimly what you meant when you said he'd done very nice things – in his opinion, he'd hardly done anything, and he knew you'd never reached orgasm with him. He snorted mentally. And if not with him, then not at all. It seemed to him a very good idea to fix that problem. Not just a good idea, possibly genius. And your mum was going to be gone for a while, and they had the whole house and plenty of time for you to try out your plan. He swallowed hard, trying to figure out what you might have in mind. Everything he pictured further deadened his higher mental faculties, and he muzzily wondered what the hell he'd ever done in his life to deserve this, this girl in his lap whose body fit up against his like it was meant to be there, like connecting puzzle pieces.

"Babe, you don't owe me anything." You opened your mouth and he cut in, "Which is not to say that I don't want you to do … whatever it is you're planning on doing. But we can do both." He slid his hands completely inside your panties, running his palms from your hips to your ass, giving a little squeeze. "It's all about taking turns."

You stared at him with wide eyes and he saw your throat work spasmodically. He could imagine the pro/con list you were writing in your head. Pros: it'll be fucking fantastic. Cons: none. Well, maybe that was his pro/con list. He didn't have enough blood getting to his brain to do better.

"Okay," you breathed. He couldn't help the wide grin that spread across his face.

"Okay," he agreed. "Here." He guided you up so you were kneeling over his lap and extracted his hands from your underwear. You grabbed his shoulders, nails digging little furrows high on his back. With his right hand, he gripped your hip firmly, supporting you. His left hand traced across your belly, over your bunched skirt, down between your thighs, and he cupped you over your panties. You were staring down at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly open and breath coming out in hot little puffs.

He stroked you softly with two fingers. "It's okay," he murmured. You nodded and shifted, leaning forward to rest your head against his neck.

"Hey, wait," he said, and you pulled back to look at him.

"What?" she asked, voice barely there.

Van' eyes tracked over your face, from your parted lips to your dilated pupils and the sweat forming at your hairline. He cleared his throat. "I want to see you."

You made a high, squeaky noise at the back of your throat, so he placed a soft, chaste kiss high on your neck. He settled back in the chair, half-reclining, half-slouching, so he was looking up at you. You licked your lips and closed your eyes, breathing deeply. As he added a little pressure to the strokes between your thighs, he could feel your legs trembling around him. He used his right hand to guide your hips, rocking them back and forth in a gentle sway in counterpoint to the rhythm of his left. You rolled your wrists against his shoulders, pulling up fistfuls of his black sweater, and whispered, "Van."

Van used his pinkie to push aside your underwear, and slid his fingers inside. You tensed around him and bit your lip, brow furrowing. He stroked slowly, intent on your face. You looked deep in concentration, but not necessarily enjoying yourself.

He rubbed your hip to get your attention but you didn't seem to notice. "Y/N. Are you alright?"

You frowned and squirmed against his hand. "Just – wait – there." You took a deep breath. Then, your face scrunched up and he paused. "What are you doing?" you muttered. "Move."

He snorted and complied, starting off gently until, with little shifts and different angles, he found a rhythm that worked for you. Your face relaxed and you made a low, long sound of approval. Van leaned forward a little and kissed your chest, right at the soft swell of your breast, and you moaned loudly. He dragged his tongue across your skin, following the edge of your bra cup down between your breasts. Breathing you in, Van thought this might be a nice place to spend the rest of his life. He kissed you again and sighed, feeling his breath reflected back on him off of your chest. You were moving your hips on your own, now, and he settled back in his chair to watch you.

Like this, you were glorious. Your face was flushed, eyes closed tight, and long strands of your hair were sticking to your sweaty cheeks. Your open shirt left your chest exposed, and he watched the rise and fall of your breastbone as you took in sharp panting breaths. Nobody else got to see you like this. No one ever had before, and this was all his, his doing, his memory forever, your first forever.

And suddenly you looked at him blindly, jaw hanging low as you struggled to breathe, and then you cried out, eyes squeezing shut tight. Your body was completely taught, knees clamping around his legs and fists pressing into his shoulders, and your only movement was the sharp, rapid rolling of your hips and your muscles contracting around him. Van thought it was possible he'd never been so aroused in his life.

You came back to yourself little by little, muscles relaxing, though you were still gasping for air. You leaned down and kissed him hard, uttering little helpless noises into his mouth. Some of your hair was caught between your lips but Van didn't care, just kissed around it. He supported you with both hands as the spasms of your muscles died down, still stroking you gently, slowly, until your hips stopped jerking. Van slid his hand out from your panties and rubbed his knuckles against your quaking thigh.

You broke contact, moving just far enough away to look into his eyes, panting. Van smiled and brushed his thumb over your lip, feeling like just about the greatest motherfucking son of a bitch in the world. You couldn't find your voice; you got out the first part of his name, a guttural little "Vuh-" before trailing off and leaning in to kiss him again. Your fingers started on his belt and you had it unbuckled when he grasped your wrists gently. You pulled back and looked at him, eyes dilated and confused.

"Van?"

He took a deep breath. "Just give me a minute," he said. You nodded and he let go of you to run his hands up your arms and shoulders to your neck. You leaned in again and kissed him.

You pressed your hands against his chest, fingers spread out over his pectorals. You trailed your palms down his body to his stomach, resting on the top of his jeans, and his muscles spasmed in response to your touch. He groaned and moved his hands to cup the base of your skull. You snaked your fingers under the hem of his shirt, tracing cold fingertips low across his abdomen, curling over the waistband of his pants. You rubbed little circles in the coarse hair below his belly button and he knew this wasn't going to calm his arousal into something more manageable, but he didn't care, couldn't care.

Before he realized what you were doing, you unbuttoned and unzipped his fly and were reaching your hand into his boxers. All his muscles locked up as your fingers curled around him, lungs seizing as he tried to gasp for air.

"Y/N," he gasped, hands clenching into involuntary fists in your hair. You were already moving, though, stroking him firmly, and he felt the sudden pressure of oncoming release within seconds.

“Slow,” he gasped, “slower, please,” but slowing down wasn’t enough to quell the passion deep in him. Your touch alone was driving him over the edge. One soft kitten lick to the tip and he was undone, coming hot and fast and wet all over your hands. Quicker than you had expected from him.

“I didn’t know you would…” you gazed at him open mouthed as you realized he truly needed that moment he asked for earlier.

You grabbed tissues from the convenient box resting on the table behind you and cleaned him up, and wiped your hands, trying not to blush magenta at your first failed attempt to please him well because of your impatience.

As Van' blood flow redirected itself to important places like his brain, he started to feel curious about how you had decided you'd wanted to jerk him off. He wondered if you'd done research for it, if you'd read magazines or asked those frightening girls at your school for pointers. Books, if they were available, were the most likely, followed by internet searches. He wanted to sneak onto your computer and check your Google activity. You noticed the look on his face and frowned, suspicious.

"What?" you asked warily.

He shook his head and pulled a piece of hair away from your face. "Nothing."

You tilted your head, brow furrowing. "I don't believe you."

He smirked at you, raising an eyebrow. "How long have you been thinking about doing this?"

You ducked your head. "I – I don't know," she stammered. "I haven't."

"Did you do research?" You looked up at that, eyes wide, and he laughed again. "You did! What did you do? Did you go to the library? Get anatomy textbooks? A Cosmo? Download dirty movies?"

"Shut up! I didn't!" He tilted his head back and laughed at the ceiling. "Van!" You punched his chest and your sharp little knuckles actually hurt.

"Ow, hey. Come here," he said, hand on your jaw and drawing your face to his. He kissed you softly, stroking his thumb across your cheek. "You didn't do it wrong, love." He shrugged."You're inexperienced. Trust me, we have plenty of time to get you to a pro level."

Your eyebrows quirked, expression hovering between amusement and annoyance. "Oh, yes?"

He affected a grave demeanor. "I promise."

"You're very optimistic."

Van nodded. "I am generally known for my optimism and my sunny disposition."

You chuckled and rested your forehead against his, rolling it back and forth slightly in a sort of nuzzle. "That was very nice," you whispered.

"Very nice," he repeated, amused.

You snorted, glancing at him from under your eyelashes shyly. "Yes. Thank you."

Van felt his sad, shattered pride stirring. He ran his thumb over your chin, then touched it to your lips. "Darlin’, you're welcome."

You smiled and kissed him again, laughing softly, and he marveled at how comfortable he felt with you. In spite of a regrettable end to his own arousal, he was already chalking up the afternoon as a success. He had been pretty great, he thought, and you were taking steps together that he hadn't seriously been entertaining a hope of. And he liked discovering all the ways you fit each other. The way you fit tucked under his arm when you walked together, the way your thighs pressed snug around his waist, the way his palms were exactly right to cradle your hips. The way you both could bring up just about any obscure subject and the other would understand and smile knowingly. The way you were both unembarrassed, disheveled and you with your skirt bunched around your waist and him half hanging out of his pants and you both laughing into each other's mouths. Or the way he was certain he knew you, the way he worried you knew him. His hands curled into the rumpled pleats of your skirt and he figured there were infinite ways for your limbs to fit together, to intertwine, to collapse together, and he was determined to find them all.

[ncmagroup]

As Director of the Revenue Enablement Institute and member of the Forbes CMO Practice, I teach growth leaders how to grow revenues, profits, and firm value and maximize the return on growth assets and investments.

The coronavirus is battering the economy and creating uncertainty about future demand. The global economy is forecast to contract by 3% as billions of employees, customers, and consumers are unable to leave their homes, travel, shop or in some cases work. This has paralyzed entire industries, although created opportunities for others. The uncertainty about the future is so great that 20% of the corporations in the S&P1500 have withdrawn investor guidance on revenues and profits for the coming year.

Every economic crisis has both winners and losers warns Dave Reibstein, Professor of Marketing at the Wharton School of Business. “During various major crises that affect the economy—9/11, the 2008 financial crisis, and now the global spread of Covid-19 – all the players in the economy are not affected equally. Certainly, large segments like retail, restaurants, and travel are negatively impacted; but, there also will be economic benefactors with Covid-19. Some of the obvious businesses that gain sales are hand sanitizers, remote communications technology, home food delivery, and streaming services, just to name a few. Still, others will adapt to seize the opportunity in the crisis. We are already seeing a variety of businesses pivoting their focus to help scale drug testing and health care capacity, supporting the virtual enterprise, or plugging holes in broken supply chains.

In a crisis like this, leaders must laser-focus their organizations on survival, employee health, liquidity, protecting customer relationships, and maintaining supply chains. For the past 90 days, sales and marketing leaders around the globe have been leading crisis task forces to understand and manage the immediate impact the Covid-19 virus is having on-demand and consequently on sales and marketing resource allocation, budgets, investments, and plans.

  REVENUE ENABLEMENT INSTITUTE

In addition to making painful budget choices, growth leaders must also remain aware of the structural changes going on around them and keep an eye on the long term. Because when the “bottom” comes into sight in several months, every business will turn their attention to rebuilding and adapting to the new normal. “Many of the gains made during the crisis will become permanent” notes Reibstein. “For example, we can fully expect a faster transition to virtual meetings, classrooms, and selling models that will become permanent after the crisis is long past. Direct online selling will get a boost that will not just rebound back to its pre-disease levels, but we will find a hysteresis, that is a long-term effect.

Mo Katibeh, the CMO of AT&T agrees. “We are seeing a variety of businesses benefit from the dramatic increases in usage of video games, OTT streaming video, and unified communications in the wake of shelter-in-place orders. And longer term, we expect that telehealth and tele-learning will gain a strong foothold in a post-Covid economy. There will also be secondary effects of changing behavior – such as the accelerated growth of available but not yet broadly adopted technologies like robotics in retail, augmented reality in selling channels, and as a training enabler, and Business 5G deployed at hospitals, factories, and entertainment venues.”

There are seven questions every growth leader needs to be asking at the dawn of the Covid-19 economy to anticipate the short, medium, and long-term impacts on their growth potential and strategies.

1 HOW CAN MY FIRM CONTRIBUTE TO THE SOLUTION? In the wake of the coronavirus, companies are either victims, essential services to surviving the crisis, or quickly pivoting to become part of the solution and recovery. CMOs must ask to what degree is their business able to solve problems and provide relief to build customer goodwill, reinforce their brand purpose, and support their corporate social responsibility agenda? “A lot of our clients are looking for help pivoting to reposition in this environment and take advantage of opportunities, address existential threats, and invent new services and solutions that address the disruption caused by the Covid-19 outbreak,” according to toEd Keller. “Our clients are largely trying to either maintain essential services/functions in a remote work environment or rushing to position for aid from the $2 Trillion CARES act. I’m using Maslow’s hierarchy as an example – people are focused on meeting basic, existential needs; clients aren’t interested in strategy work or even mundane operating improvements. They are really focused on running the basic machinery.

2 IS THIS THE TIME TO BE CUTTING? As the economic toll of Covid-19 mounts, there will be constant pressure to reduce “unnecessary” expenses. “Every business is taking a hard look at all spending, including sales and marketing, to survive in the Covid-19 crisis,” reports Chris Hummel, the CMO of United Rentals. “We’re no different. Marketing can be a particularly juicy target for cost-cutting, especially since the cuts are considered “painless.” Not so fast. Cuts in marketing usually drag down demand and sales, so what happens when the revenue hole created outweighs cost savings?” Professor Reibstein reminds business leaders with the luxury of retaining marketing spend to consider the opportunities a crisis like this presents. “Cost cuts are inevitable in the crisis and marketing expenditures are often fungible. That said, while others are spending less, it makes whatever spending remains more effective,” according to Reibstein. “Those that invested during the 2008 financial crisis, thrived while others fled. “Share of voice” will never be greater. Massive industries, such as all travel-related as well as political advertising are down considerably at the same time people are in front of their screens more than ever and attention may never be greater. This may be the time to invest, that is if the business can afford to.”

3 HOW DO WE LEAD AND ENABLE REMOTE REVENUE TEAMS IN A CRISIS? Managing, coaching, and motivating sales, call center, and service employees in a work in the home environment are creating immense challenges for sales leaders. “From a sales channel perspective, organizations are quickly adapting to having tens of thousands of salespeople, call-center representatives, and customer support agents working from home, shares Mo Katibeh of AT&T. “They are rushing to provide their front-line customer-facing employees with the systems, support, and communications infrastructure they need to engage, retain, and acquire customers in a work at home setting. This includes fundamental hardware like PCs, mobility enabled hot spots, collaboration applications, and remote access VPN capability to give them the secure and scalable access to the applications, systems, networks, and databases they need to do their jobs from home productively as well as support high quality videoconferencing experiences.”

4 WHERE WILL CUSTOMER ENGAGEMENT COME FROM? Sales teams will need to replace the millions of face-to-face sales meetings that vanished with restrictions on business travel and the cancellation, delay, or digital conversion of thousands of industry conferences, events, and forums. For example, SXSW canceled its annual event which draws 280,000 attendees. “A big change will be adapting to selling without the benefit of face-to-face interaction in sales meetings or the many sales conferences, events, or trade shows in the industries we serve” shares Ed Keller, the CMO of Guidehouse. “In particular our relationship leaders are facing challenging times when forced to work remotely because they rely heavily on in-person buyer engagement to build the trust needed to acquire net new client relationships.”

5 WHERE WILL THE MEDIA EYEBALLS COME FROM? CMOs must find ways to replace the billions of “live eyeballs” that were lost with the cancellation or delay of live sports, entertainment, and arts sponsorship events to build awareness and demand for their offerings. Before the coronavirus struck, brands were forecasted to invest over $68 Billion in sports, entertainment, cause, and event sponsorship properties in 2020. Since then, thousands of these events have been canceled or delayed – including the delay of the Tokyo Olympics – where brands had invested over $5Billion to reach a global audience – and the cancellation of March Madness.

6 HOW QUICKLY CAN WE DEVELOP AND SCALE DIGITAL SELLING CHANNELS? How and how quickly can your organization develop and enable digital and virtual selling channels has emerged as a critical issue in a market where these channels have become essential to transacting with work-at-home buyers and consumers. In general, we’re seeing businesses that embraced digital-first business models are doing much better than those that did not,” reports Joe Galvin, the Chief Research Officer of Vistage Worldwide. “Businesses that invested in building a strong digital infrastructure are benefiting from this dynamic because they have the ability to support DTC commerce and virtual selling models.” Chris Hummel views scaling back on digital channel investment as an existential risk. “Customers are moving online. They expect a great experience online. And increasingly want to buy online. Remote working in the wake of the coronavirus is only going to accelerate this shift. Before the crisis, some reports suggest that 12% of the sales of B2B products and services across industries were online. That number will only grow in the new normal. So, the impact of digital cuts on revenue will be dramatic and quick.” 

7 WHEN IS THE BOTTOM AND WHEN SHOULD I START REINVESTING? The big questions are when is the bottom and when should we begin to reinvest?” according to Joe Galvin. “Business leaders will stay focused on crisis management until we find the bottom of this one and can assess the damage and determine how long they can survive at this velocity. CEOs are asking when will we have a line of sight on when the pandemic is under control so we can shift from crisis to recovery and reactivate face-to-face events, sponsorships, and selling channels as part of the go-to-market mix.” Professor Reibstein reinforces the importance of getting this timing right. “ It’s a very difficult balance for a business leader. Do we wait until the bottom, or do we start reinvesting before we get there? Do we have to wait until full recovery, or will that be too late? Will the cost to regain lost ground be higher than it would have been if we had invested earlier? Mo Katibeh at AT&T shares the same perspective. “Tactically, we’re starting to ask when we will hit peak usage because there are only so many remote users and so many minutes of use in a day. The good news is so far the networks are handling this traffic well. Beyond that, when the “COVID winter” will end, what steps they need to take in the recovery and what stasis (the new normal) will look like are all open but critical questions right now. In a strategic sense, these short-term changes in usage are not the only dynamic to look at. We anticipate the response to the virus will bring about fundamental and long-lasting changes to the mix and composition of traffic over corporate and consumer communications networks, and the infrastructure that underlies them.

To help CMOs lead in the crisis and keep an eye on the long-term while addressing the short-term, Professor David Reibstein of the Wharton Business School has been conducting research with senior leaders to get management insights on the short, medium and long-term impacts the coronavirus will have on sales and marketing strategies, resource allocation, budgets, investments, and plans. Marketing leaders can learn more about his findings and participate in the study at this link.

  Go to our website:   www.ncmalliance.com

  Seven Questions Every Growth Leader Needs To Ask In The Wake Of The Covid Crisis As Director of the Revenue Enablement Institute and member of the Forbes CMO Practice, I teach growth leaders how to grow revenues, profits, and firm value and maximize the return on growth assets and investments.

[brentrogers]

COVID Healthcare Marketing Questions: Pause, Pivot, or Push for Success?

COVID-19 has changed the healthcare industry quicker in the last two weeks than in the last 50 years. With medical practices temporarily shutting down and elective procedures put on hold, what should healthcare networks and healthcare specialists do with their marketing campaigns‘ strategies?

To answer this important question for healthcare marketers, I partnered with Aaron Clifford, Senior Vice President of Marketing, at Binary Fountain for a marketing webinar, COVID-19 and Healthcare Marketing: Should You Freeze, Pivot, or Push Forward? This event drew tremendous audience response and I want to share it with you on our Healthcare Success blog.

In this timely webinar for marketing practitioners & healthcare CMOs, you will learn:

If and how you should reallocate your marketing budget

Which marketing strategies and tactics make sense…and which don’t

How to tweak brand communications because of COVID-19

If you should change your digital marketing and directory listings as Coronavirus spreads

What key updates need to be made to social media profiles and healthcare organizations‘ local listings

I’ve included this presentation’s slides, video and audio of the webinar, and the entire transcript just below, for your convenience. And, I trust this webinar helps your medical practice, health network or hospital survive and thrive through the Coronavirus pandemic.

If you would like to speak to us about your marketing budgets through the COVID crisis, please give us a call at 800-656-0907.

PDF: COVID-19 and Healthcare Marketing | COVID-19 and Healthcare Marketing: Should You Freeze, Pivot, or Push Forward?

YouTube: COVID-19 and Healthcare Marketing

Podcast: COVID-19 and Healthcare Marketing

Other streaming services: COVID-19 and Healthcare Marketing podcast is found on… Spotify | iHeartRadio | Google Play | iTunes | Pod Bean | Tunein | Radio Public | Stitcher

Related Links on Healthcare Success: COVID-19: Healthcare Marketing Adjustments | Ways Social Media & Digital Marketing Help the Public During the COVID-19 Pandemic

COVID-19 and Healthcare Marketing Webinar Transcript

Aaron Clifford: Welcome everyone to today’s webinar, COVID-19 and healthcare marketing. Should you freeze, pivot or push forward, we’ll be starting in a couple of minutes as we still have folks in joining and so I’ll be back in a couple of minutes. All right, we’ll go ahead and get started. Welcome everyone and thank you for taking time out of your busy day to join us. My name is Aaron Clifford. I’m the Senior Vice President of Marketing here at Binary Fountain. We know that it’s been a challenging time in everyone’s business and your personal lives, so we are extremely grateful that you’re here and we’re going to try to squeeze as much help her in ample information and advice as we can. I will warn you, Stewart and I both are remote, so you may hear the, a random dog bark or other noises that you typically wouldn’t in a normal webinar. And so I’m sure many of you are remote as well and probably could understand that. So for the next hour, we’re going to discuss specific ways healthcare marketers can shift their digital marketing efforts and engage customers online throughout the COVID-19 crisis. To help lead this discussion, I’m joined by Stewart Gandolf, CEO of integrated marketing firm Healthcare Success. Stewart, you care to introduce yourself?

Stewart Gandolf: Sure. I’m excited to be here. Everybody I know, again, as Erin just said, it’s we’re all busy and trying to adapt to new reality. I’m CEO of Healthcare Success and as Erin mentioned, we are an integrated marketing firm. We work with really kind of all kinds of healthcare entities, hospitals, practices, pharma plans across the board. And I’m excited to be here. I’m CEO. I think there’ll be fun to share some insights today

Aaron Clifford: For sure. Thanks, Stewart. So glad to have you here. Really appreciate it that you joined us. Before we begin, let’s take a quick look about what we’re going to be talking about today. So first we’re going to discuss strategizing your digital marketing in a way that matches the current shift in consumer behavior. What we’re seeing. Then we’ll cover recommended, recommended adjustments to marketing budgets and brand communications in light of the health crisis. And then we’ll dive into some key updates to the local listing that’s also social media platforms and things that you should be looking out there and some strategies from a social media standpoint. And finally we’ll have a Q&A session. So we’ll be collecting the Q&A and we’ll make sure that we get to your questions. So please feel free to ask questions as we go along and then we’ll address those towards the end. But for now I’m going to pass it over to sewer to get started. Stewart.

Stewart Gandolf: All right, how did yours thank you and Hey everybody, I’m really excited to be here. As I mentioned a minute ago, my style is when I speak, some of you may have seen me speak at different venues. I tend to go really fast. I like to give as much information as I possibly can, so it’s kind of like drinking from a fire hose. Aaron, I both have a lot of subject matters today. So I think you’ll find this interesting. First step is I can move the slide here is to keep in mind that, you know, we are living through historic pandemic. And so the I want to give a thank you to or shout out to the caregivers on the front lines here today. You know, one of the things we have to acknowledge this, one of the things we’re going to talk about today is to acknowledge was really when your communications, where we are.

Stewart Gandolf: And you know, we have caregivers in the front lines out there. We have people who are working hard, protect ourselves and our loved ones. One of the common themes I’ll talk about today is to stay at home, right? Because that’s a more than a hashtag. We are literally trying to save some lives. One of the things that I’d like to talk about too is that how we act today will be remembered tomorrow. And so meaning that we’re working together to create marketing plans. We’re trying to communicate to the community out there. And one of the things that I like to talk about and we’ll talk about a bit more later, is that, you know, even if you’re staying at home, you know, it’s funny for me sitting at home thinking like, well geez, I don’t feel like I’m on the front lines with the doctors.

Stewart Gandolf: But the reality is that we’re trying to get the word out and help for the common good marketing today in a real sense is for the common good today. And we’re going to talk a little bit about how we can get the message out. There are still people you know, we just saw something, a news of the day about a governor didn’t really realize that the Corona virus is transmittable before symptoms happen. So I would argue that this is our chance to not only do a good job for our various institutions, but to really help the public and keep that in mind as we go forward here. So we know today that it’s amazing what’s going on here. We see that the headlines just seem to be more and more depressing. Some of the recent ones model’s predicting spread a virus is a grim picture.

Stewart Gandolf: According to New York times. This is like two days ago, by the way. More than 75% of all Americans have been ordered to stay home. Social distancing appears to be slowing the spread, which is good news. That’s great that the crisis won’t be over soon. The Dow dropped 410 points down, 23%. The worst quarter ever. You just lost my screen. Where did it go? Coronavirus job losses could total 47 million. It’s just amazing. Unemployment could be 32%. This is coming from a super-heated economy where a couple of months ago it was, you know, what two or 3% unemployment. One bit of note of good news for the small business owners out there. The feds are part of the new cares package. The $2 trillion stimulus is hundreds of millions of dollars for small business owners. They can for forgivable loans to help cover salaries over a couple months. And you can certainly look that up. And I should mention after the webinar, we will be sending out the back and the video and there will be links.

Stewart Gandolf: There’s lots of information we can point you to. So anyway, so that’s our environment. I think it’s really important to recognize that this is our environment. I mentioned a minute ago how things are changing so quickly. This is an amazing trying to prepare for a day. The how much the news has changed. If you look back just a couple of weeks ago you know, people are still largely in denial and this is as of the latest date I can find was March 20th to 22nd, you’d probably see a bunch of nineties there for avoiding events, avoiding traveling, avoiding small gatherings, stocking up on food. So it’s amazing how quickly and really historic how things are changing so quickly here. The M a so again, some recent data, I’m big on data. Hopefully you are as well. Up to 70%. A couple of weeks, a couple of days ago was 40% said they were delaying major purchases.

Stewart Gandolf: Now it’s up to 70. However you know, great challenges can create great opportunities sometimes from a marketing point of view. So we’re seeing today, and this is something that we’re seeing a lot on our side, that and I see this data everywhere and 95% of global consumers who say they’re spending more time in how media consumption. That’s of course not surprising in the fact that they’re watching more news coverage isn’t surprising. One of the benefits, again, as terrible as this crisis is there are some silver linings. Like I proved myself, I’m spending more time with my family. I have a teenage, a couple of daughters, one of them is a teenager and we’re just having some excellent family time cause we’re always so busy. And I think it’s important to recognize present moment, not just with yourselves but in your communications.

Stewart Gandolf: And it is a different time. What’s amazing is streaming not just Netflix, which is not a lot of commercial opportunity there, but just streaming TV and streaming radio. I’ll talk about this more later. From a marketing point of view, create some unprecedented opportunities. People are spending more time on social media. Again, not surprisingly, but these are all opportunities. And we were talking before we got started here about how things are changing forever. So, you know, zoom is people who are using video conferences that unlikely. We’re going to go back to the way we were before telemedicine. I recently saw a whoops, I’m not sure what happened. The telemedicine, you know, took some hospital systems years to begin to experiment over the last couple of weeks. They’ve embraced it fully and figured out how to do it. So the world has changed. And I’ve talked to my creative director about this and our team, and by the way, a lot of these things I’m going to share today are insights from my team.

Stewart Gandolf: So it’s a lot of, this is obviously things that I’ve observed, but I wanted to make sure I got the team into this as well. People that are dealing with this every day. And so the first thing I mentioned to kind of at the opening is I think it’s really important to acknowledge the current situation. What adds the, if you don’t, it’s almost hard to tap almost any conversation about discussing this. And that’s okay. It’s really important to be transparent. You’re seeing this beginning to happen with broadcast TV. Any ad that has pictures of large hand large crowds, handshakes, big parties look just out of touch. And I think the public understands that, you know, commercials like that were creative events, but the more you can be transparent, the more you can feel up to date, the better. It’s also, and I think people are most marketers are aware of this, but it’s really important to not look exploitative and just be careful of that because the it is possible to do that.

Stewart Gandolf: Make sure that you don’t have any invests unintended messages. This is particularly true if you have lots of things going on. You know, I’m dying to see you or I’m talking about computer viruses. Obviously we’ll have a whole new meeting today if we are not careful. And then how empathy, this is really, really important. I talked to my creative director, Dana about this yesterday and Dana’s worked in a lot of pharma campaigns and she was actually in the process of writing a campaign now talking about people with rare diseases and going through various States of grief. And we’re both remarking how people we know are grieving. Employees of ours are grieving, clients are grieving. And nobody, I really don’t see people talking about that very much. But we have to recognize that empathy, if there was ever a time for grief or empathy and our messaging and the way we talk to people in a way we communicate with people, everybody’s stressed out, but just as human beings, we want to have empathy.

Stewart Gandolf: I shared this screenshot. This is just happens to be one of a Verizon commercial. I saw that peaked my interest. I also have another one on Las Vegas. And I’ll share some others on Twitter. By the way my Twitter handle is at Stewart Gandolf: and right now is you’re live tweeting through this webinar. We just chose the hashtag healthcare marketing. So if you have things to tweet hopefully Kelly you can watch that while I’m presenting to see if there’s anything to respond to on Twitter. But the healthcare marketing‘s our hashtag [#healthcaremarketing]. But going back to what I was saying again, there are some examples of commercials that are out there. I’ll try to tweet and share things that I like and are certainly a lot of updates that we are all seeing today. So one of the big questions and by the title of our webinar is you know, should we pause, should we run straight forward?

Stewart Gandolf: Should we stop? And I just narrow it down to this. We have conversations, we have about 80 clients with our firm and every single one we’re talking to. And the first question that comes up from a lot of the men as well, in light of what’s going on, should we just stop marketing? Should you stop marketing? And our answer to that is no, but it might sense, makes sense to stop advertising. And let me explain what that mean. So I definitely don’t think marketing stopping is a good idea for virtually anybody but advertising may, and we’ll talk about what that looks like in a few minutes. Just for those of you, I know we have a lot of marketing people here. We probably have some executives that are not markers, like CEOs are operating in people and certainly have some doctors. Just as a reminder, and you can talk about the four piece of marketing, the seven P’s of marketing.

Stewart Gandolf: When I do my seminars, we teach seven. And just as a reminder, when we talk, marketing is not the same thing as advertising. Advertising is a small subset of one of the P’s of marketing. So advertising is certainly important. It’s the sexy stuff that already focuses in on, but marketing is much broader than just advertising. So I mentioned a moment ago you know, with every crisis sometimes there’s opportunities, right? And I think it was wrong. Manual said never wasted in crisis. And so certainly again, I don’t want to in any way underestimate the human toll of business and people are dying. I can’t be any more serious. So with that in mind though, a lot of us still have to, you know, do our jobs to inform the community to help people in any way we can. So it’s really, really important.

Stewart Gandolf: So what can we do? Well, one of the first things to keep in mind is many people are freezing or doing nothing. So if you’re in a competitive specialty or competitive hospital or a competitive drug you know, a lot of people are just running for the Hills and pausing and doing nothing. And I would argue strongly that that’s probably not the best strategy. I would say that almost in any event, assuming you’re going to stay in business, which hopefully most of us are the job is to prepare for the future because eventually COVID-19 will receive right. There is drugs they’re testing now. Hopefully they find a breakthrough that can help us until a vaccine is available in a year, a year and half. But, and then hopefully it won’t drag on for months and months. We’ll see. But in any event we want to prepare because once this finally does, the smoke does clear there’ll be tremendous opportunity for new leaders to emerge and also be visible.

Stewart Gandolf: So even if you’re not looking to attract patients in this environment, there are things you could do. Certainly you could continue your branding, right? So if you’re a hospital, for example, you don’t want to disappear in the community. You could do you know, ongoing branding kinds of messaging. It could also work at just at the core. If you are trying to advertise, you’re doing anything at all, you could be doing marketing planning you could be doing brand strategy and development. You know, you’ve always thought about your brand. You’ve always wondered where it’s off. I would again argue strongly this is a time to look at this creative work. For example, a lot of clients and you know, people that I meet are really dissatisfied with where their website because they feel like there’s changes they’ve been trying to make or video content they want to create a new content strategy.

Stewart Gandolf: And just a little transparency here on our side. Our company has grown tremendously over the last three or four years. The website, our own website, we’re usually focused on client stuff. This is a pretty common issue with agencies. You know, we’ve been working on it, but it hasn’t had that kind of energy that we would like. And today is a fantastic time. So over the next three months we’re aggressively working on our own website as well as our clients to represent better who we are today than we were when the website was launched a few years ago. So these are the kinds of things to start thinking. Where can you do take effort? Just as an administrative thing. I was talking to my managing director of the day, all that HR training that we’ve been trying to get around to. This is a good time continuing ed, strengthening your employee communications.

Stewart Gandolf: A lot of you are in larger institutions and they have thousands of employees. They, people are begging for leadership and guidance today. My head of SEO urged me to tell you a 15 second message there. Right now there is massive things you can do with enterprise SEO, particularly with schema, if those even know what that means. Is kind of the infrastructure. It’s to help the machines learn the meaning and the context behind what’s on the page. These are tremendous times. We’re working a lot with clients on that and organic Aaron, his team, we’ll talk about that a little bit later. One of the things I’ve mentioned earlier is we can use social media and again, Aaron talk about the organic stuff in a few minutes, but to really work on growing our own reputation and, but even save lives. My last blog post, and we have vitally, I should welcome, we have about half the audience are my readers and half her coming from Binary Fountain.

Stewart Gandolf: So those that are my readers may recognize my last blog post mentioned that the surgeon general, the S came out about social distancing. And because of the way CBC had communicated in the early days, a lot of millennials and gen Z famously thought they were immune and it’s no big deal to go partying on spring break. So the surgeon general called upon Kylie Jenner to go out there and say, Hey, tell you know, millennials and younger Americans that this is for real. And she did. And a couple hours he did this from the platform of good morning America, a couple of hours later, kindly came out and went out to her 4 million followers on Instagram. So my argument here is I think it’s fantastic. Kylie Jenner you know, used her clout with millennials and younger Americans to get the word out about social distancing. But I would argue anybody in healthcare has a responsibility, not from a marketing and making more money point of view.

Stewart Gandolf: But you know, on my own social media, I tweet about this stuff on our own sizing. So to either organically simple, you know, independent private practice doctors can simply put up a notice about COVID on their Facebook page and other patients. So I think it’s fantastic opportunity to, you know, just for the common good, promote social distancing help people who think they may have the virus. Again, you know, the CDC is one voice in the wind. There’s a lot of misinformation out there. Certainly we want you as providers to put out accurate information and to help people understand that, you know, for example, people could be contagious before they show up with symptoms. Wellness tips. A lot of doctors, a lot of hospitals are providing wellness tips. We’ll talk about that in a minute. Talking, making sure the public knows you’re taking proper security, I’m sorry, safety precautions, asking or answering frequently asked questions notices on your websites.

Stewart Gandolf: All these things are things for the common good. Again, not just from a marketing point of view or business development. So I would argue, get the word out. Everybody on this community, you have people that you’re influencing personally. You know, we went virtual within way ahead of the curve. A friend of mine is a neuroscientist who sent me out information on neuro or a social distancing early. We went, we took action immediately. And I just think that’s the spirit of what we all have to do today. So let’s say that the, I mentioned advertising earlier, cause we’re going to talk about advertising doesn’t make sense for you now and here’s how to help you think that through because everybody’s different. Yes, I would argue that it may make sense for you if number one, you are in the position to position yourself as a community thought leader and you feel like your role is to help educate the public during the Coronavirus crisis.

Stewart Gandolf: So certainly pharmaceuticals, health plans, hospitals, and they find themselves in that category. Maybe even forward-thinking private practices depending on the size and philosophy and specialty. So beyond the free social media stuff, but advertising can make sense there if you’re looking to build your brand for the long term and capitalize the competitor’s absence. Another advantage, and of course advertising costs money. So if you have a budget that you can apply to this, again, if you’re a small independent practice, just trying to keep the lights on and you’re shut down and maybe it’s not possible, but that’s not everybody. So on the flip on the converse, when should you not probably advertise? Well if you’re in the situation where it has to be direct response advertising, where every dollar must bring an immediate trackable ROI, maybe you’re an elective business that’s closed, right? The surgeon general asks you to close the, I may ask you to close.

Stewart Gandolf: So if you’re closed that may not be as valuable for you or again, obviously if you’re struggling, but I do want to make the point that advertising can make a lot of sense. We’re going to talk about that. So I want to share some insights for the rest of my time with you today. These again from my team on the digital team I asked them, cause they’re on this every day. Obviously I’m looking at the big picture, but they’re watching the stuff daily for our clients. And here’s some of the insights we’ve noticed. Number one. Some specialties are actually seeing increased traction, increase click through rates and increased inquiries or lead conversions, urgent care, not surprisingly, and primary care, maybe not surprisingly, people are looking for alternatives. We have a integrative medicine, primary care doctor who’s seeing tremendous opportunity because people are looking for things like wellness and boosting your immune system.

Stewart Gandolf: So we’ll talk about that in a moment. Addiction right now. I just saw something I tweeted yesterday, the day before that alcohol sales are booming. They’re up 50%. Again, it’s not surprising. And you know, just watching behind people’s behavior, again have empathy. You know, I’ve been on a couple of, you know, you’ve heard of these virtual cocktail hours. Some people are drinking too much and you can just see it. So odd. We have a number of addiction clients. There are people out there that are addicts that are at home. They are hurting. And so some of these specialties are seeing great big increases in interest. Other essential categories are holding strong like cancer related searches and not surprisingly elective based surgeries for example, vein surgeries. Some of those are down in terms of inquiries, not necessarily clicks. A lot of people we were finding our home, they’re clicking on those paid ads, but they may not be actually inquiring.

Stewart Gandolf: So again, these are each of you know, a practice or a hospital, you know, hospital practice, you need to really manage actively your campaign. I mentioned earlier preventative care kinds of terms are vague boosting immune system. We are predicting we’re seeing a little bit of cost decreases for the cost per click if you’re no pay-per-click. And but we expect that to continue as competitors. Fleet of market. So recommendations going forward if for your paid search campaigns in particular and I have Google ads up here, it could be Google could be bank, it could be in a variety of different things. But those networks obviously the big ones. Number one, make sure your ads read appropriate for a new app reality. Just like we’ve talked about earlier, the general creative direction you want to monitor keyword searches and campaign results continue or consumer behavior continues to change.

Stewart Gandolf: You ready to pivot and make adjustments to keywords and landing pages and websites as appropriate. Recognize we want to avoid trying to capitalize on COVID new opportunities like telemedicine. We’re doing a new blog post next week with our blog about the marketing opportunities with telemedicine. Tele visitation for addiction centers or snips, a free transportation. Think a little bigger. What can you do that you never did before? Another thing to do is think through, not just paid out or to paid search with display advertising, native advertising on. Yeah. Youtube as people are spending more on time, not actively searching. By the way, Google is also going to be throwing out some credits to people that have been advertising since last year. They’ll be rolling those out. They’re not very specific on that, but that’s a little bit of relief to people that have been advertising with them for a while.

Stewart Gandolf: If you’re interested in search terms, there’s a plethora of information out there. You can just Google Google trends, Corona virus search terms and see what people are searching for on a minute by minute basis. This changes constantly. Just some sort of free value added. I think you’ll find that interesting. Facebook is not alone on this. Facebook is we are not seeing interestingly again, and we work with lots of different clients with different specialties. We’re not seeing a big dropoff and click through rates or conversions at the stage across most of our campaigns. Again, it varies a little bit with addiction. Is again, it’s just such a great example because it is relevant right now. Keep in mind we want to be emotional appropriately for the particular world that we’re in. You can consider Facebook live or promote various events. We’re going to share some examples of that in just a moment.

Stewart Gandolf: You can later I think one of our pharma specialists came up with such a great idea of mentioning that we should be thinking through how to promote you know, our community actions are everyday heroes, especially for the providers. It’s a little early, but think about that as you begin planning. Again, Facebook is also considering these, there’s no details of him and stuff currently, but they’ll probably be providing some, a rebates or something to small businesses as well. Everything is shutting down here. So again, if you can hang in there, there’s some opportunities. Suddenly I want to share. My social media had a paid social media is so excited about this. Facebook messenger now essentially has a program like bots and if would have seen chatbots. And so these are real live bots. This happens to be from one of our recovery clients.

Stewart Gandolf: I blocked out the names and phone numbers and did this obviously, but you know, so you provide, people have a chance, it says here to start a confidential message and then the bot will come back and say, you know, give a couple of different options. You can dictate and people feel like they’re talking to a real human. You can control the conversation. And we’re finding that we’re getting tons of inquiries this way. The nature of it for right now, and this is Facebook always comes up with new formats. This just happens to be one of our favorites. I’m just sharing a little secret. We’re seeing tremendous success with early on. This is brand new. Another thing that’s cool about this is we’re able to share a social endorsements. This is an example of a real life patient. Again, we blocked out the name even though it’s on a public space of, you know, interacting with the addiction treatment center.

Stewart Gandolf: So these things are very, very powerful. Another thing we’re doing with another client right now is we’re promoting webinars. We’re not seeing patients live. So Jen, if you’re able to stay in the marketplace instead of doing dinner seminars, this is a fantastic time. If you have some marketing budget to test track to finally get a re round to it. And I would argue this is some terrific opportunities here today. The I alluded to earlier, OT and some of our, I recognize that some of our audience listeners are very, very sophisticated. Do programmatic understand what OTT and CTV are others that may be, you know, a much further down the marketing continuum in terms of experience with it. But just this slide here from comScore underscores what I described earlier. And you’ve got the URL there. If you’re interested, you can go to that page yourself.

Stewart Gandolf: This was a screenshot from yesterday, OTT meats over the top or connected TV. So things like for example, Hulu streaming of those kinds of platforms where you can do advertising through Apple TV or Amazon fire or through smart TVs is just exploding. Viewership is up in record numbers TV doing overall and broadcast record numbers streaming record numbers, behavior changing daily. Again, you have to be paying attention here if we wanted to capitalize on this. And I know if you’re a provider and you’re just trying to take care of patients, you have challenges. But again, from marketing standpoint it’s very you know, despite the stuff that we’re all scared has some tremendous opportunity. My team is working harder than ever currently on these types of opportunities. This is coming, came to us, was shared with us, with my reps at iHeartRadio.

Stewart Gandolf: This is a Nielsen study a couple of days ago showing that people are no longer commuting, so they’re not in a car. So streaming radio is taking off. Interestingly a couple of days later, this is an email I got that work from home playlist work playlist and they, and it’s funny, I love this programmatic buying and programmatic artificial intelligence. They know I like chill, so anybody who wants to listen to chill a lot. And so they not only came up with a word from home playlist, they targeted me with the kind of stuff that I might be interested in, although that was a big mess with me on country. But the so personalized email our rep told us that new subscribers to work iHeart rec, like 20% plus us over recent days. So my immediate guru expert, Charlie I asked him for some tips and I thought this would be really intriguing to you.

Stewart Gandolf: So right now, I would argue, I asked Charlie when I spoke to him to prepare for this. He and I always agree on this kind of stuff. Streaming radio and television are our favorite opportunities as a really say for billboards and print. Not so much Prince slowly dying and billboards. Nobody’s driving. So are if you’re going to do advertising, these are some of our favorite things. The interestingly, and this is another insight I think would be helpful that we just said that viewership is up and listenership is up and advertisers are fleeing the marketplace. Due to Cove, there’s a cancel Olympics. You’re political ads. So it’s a very strange time that you have more viewership and listenership than ever and declining rates. Now remember with broadcast in particular, that’s is dead space. It’s gone forever. It’s like a little revenue is better than no revenue because it’s dead space.

Stewart Gandolf: It’s dead space. That’s why broadcast is often negotiable. Those of you that are more experienced marketers know, broadcast is very, very powerful. A less sophisticated advertisers often go with the newspaper, but broadcast to be super powerful. And it can’t be negotiable. The keep, again, we talked about the ads create positive messaging and again to the community I think is a good thing. Just have to acknowledge where we are. If you have an agency (hopefully) or media buyer, whoever it is this is a time to cash in those relationships with your media reps. Are, Charlie knows his worked in 200 of 210 DMAs [Designated Market Areas] in America. His knowledge is insane in terms of he knows what bus benches are out in front of a train station and you know, some rural town in New Jersey. So he has relationships nationwide.

Stewart Gandolf: And so for our own clients, you know, he’s been going back to them saying, Hey you know, there are want to pull out of the market, help me, convince them to stay in the list a little bit. And you know, I would recommend you do the same. You know, you have relationships with your media, hopefully ask them. They’re a lot more willing to help right now. So just two anecdotes are inspiring. I’m not saying grind your media reps, but look for win-win. So Charlie, if one of our big clients in Chicago was able to negotiate 80 free community oriented radios, community oriented radio spots while also changing our mix to streaming. So big, big change in the buy there and in Texas were trolleys buying for one of our multi location practices was able to move a budget to TV cause we thought all agreed that going from radio to TV as an idea, so the radio or app provided us 183 spots across three stations and that was free.

Stewart Gandolf: As a measure of goodwill. You know, again, the broadcast stations are, everybody’s hurting right now. And you know, they used to say back in the depression, things were tough all over. If you Mark, it’d be hard to do this, you’re just coming in today. But if you’ve been in the market, I encourage you to negotiate with your reps. I’m going to turn the ball over to Aaron here I think is my last slide again, if you’re interested cause I know somebody may have to run, you can I’ll, we’ll be sending the deck to you afterwards if you want to follow me on Twitter. It’s just that Stewart Gandolf: is simple and we’ll provide you contact at later data later. Aaron.

Aaron Clifford: Hey, thanks in just such great content and great information. I’m going to I’m going to right now still alive. Got you. And suddenly your content, there was a lot of engagement and questions. So do you mind just answering a couple of questions related to your content? Real quick. Sure, go ahead. All right, so one question was with more people watching news and TV, would you recommend television perhaps over social media or is it a both and, or what’s your recommendation there?

Stewart Gandolf: You know, it is, that’s a great question. Here’s the deal. In our experience that is now both. One of the things we write about a lot, and it’s funny, we did have a funny little video with my head of digital advertising and my head of external advertising literally punching each other, you know, for the webinar. We can see that through care. But the point of that video was that people are watt doing both. They’re, you know, everybody’s multitasking, they’re watching TV and they’ve got their iPad or phone in front of them. So I don’t know if it’s necessarily either or. It’s like we let try to do an integrated, we see, for example, one of our clients is an addiction center that hates to put phone numbers on it’s ass. They just feel like they don’t want to look too salesy. And so we see it as when we’re on radio or on TV with them that their website just explodes with activities. So that’s really, we mentioned earlier, integrated campaign with our agency. We really are, I love digital. I created this agency back from when we first started online with digital strategies, but it really is integrated. I would try to do both.

Aaron Clifford: All right, thank you. Helpful. A couple of more while we got you. So in reference to the Facebook messenger slide are these Facebook messenger ads or comments? Are they considered HIPAA compliant?

Stewart Gandolf: They are, yeah, if you set it up, Ryan. So I’m not an expert on this. I’m not giving legal advice. Let’s start right there. But remember these are private messages that are coming from a Facebook to the provider and it’s a bot. So I would say, you know, obviously taking a look at your own attorney, but our team has felt comfortable using them. This is brand new technology. So I would do your own research, but so far we’re comfortable.

Aaron Clifford: Good. All right, thank you. And then someone was asking about the webinars and what the success has been or attendance what are you seeing there?

Stewart Gandolf: Okay, great. So that’s a good, another great question. You know, it’s like the one I just showed as an example. He’s gotten, I don’t know, I think she sat to the first day or two, five registrants. So, not hundreds, not thousands, but I would have, you know, depends on the topic too. But the thing about keep in mind, one thing I didn’t share very well that’s important for the listeners who are, I’m not as familiar with paid social with organic social, which I love and we’re going to talk about in a minute here. You’re reaching your followers. These are people that are already following you. And the you know, even then, oftentimes you’re getting just a small percentage of the followers where obviously your ads with paid social, you can read tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands and it’s a really good value cost-wise, so you can hit a far broader audience.

Stewart Gandolf: So I think the capability and, and success of that will be based upon how good your offer is and especially how compelling your topic is. Like right now I’m seeing, you know, we have hundreds of people viewing it on this webinar, which is exciting. We had even hundreds of more register. What you probably want to get to the recording. And the reason is like, well, I like to think it’s because you and I, Aaron are so good looking and smart. I think it’s really as the topic is you know, so timely. So I feel like the right content, the right timely content is everything, the right offer. So we are seeing, and this is brand new, we know this will be very difficult to talk a client into this previously. And again, I’ll just say for our listeners, whether you’re with agencies or whether you’re with hospitals or whatever, this is a great chance to try things that you wouldn’t have gotten around to before. And this is how breakthroughs happen.

Aaron Clifford: Great. Great point. Thank you Stewart. And there’s please keep asking questions and we’ll have a time at the end of the webinar to go through a number more.

Stewart Gandolf: Yeah. Thank you for answering those. I’m happy to help. I’m about a blast with this. This is great. So, yeah.

Aaron Clifford: All right. So a lot of my contents going to dovetail into what Stewart cupboard. And for those of you who don’t know, Binary Fountain is a customer experience platform and we help healthcare systems, a number of different industries. We have a large contingent in the healthcare with large enterprises down to large medical groups and mid-size and even down to small, smaller clinics. So we analyze a lot of online data, we analyze a lot of first party surveys patient satisfaction surveys and we get a lot of entail. And so we’re helping businesses not only manage all of their listings on the third party platforms like Google my business and Facebook and vitals and health, Verizon getting all of their information accurate, but then also monitoring their reputation online. So what we did is a little study and we’re doing this study weekly just in looking at all of the mentions per platform where [inaudible] 19 and related terms are being mentioned and the frequency and quantity.

Aaron Clifford: So what we’re seeing is right now Twitter’s exploding and this is related to our brands and the mentioned the, with these terms in relation to our brands. And we cover about over 250 clients. And again, often they are, have hundreds of locations and cover hundreds of providers. And so we’re seeing a lot of activity there. Of course we’re seeing a lot of information and surveys, but then Facebook is number two to Twitter. But in terms of mentions, Twitter is, is just dominating. And there with regards to the brands, there’s a lot of questions there. People are getting answers and some cases not getting answers and others. But we are encouraging clients to manage and you know, make sure that you are having a pretty good strategy for each one of these platforms as it’s mentioned, but also spending time where the most questions and activity is happening. So there goes Twitter, Facebook, Google, you’d expect to be a lot higher. But since Google had suspended their reviews their numbers aren’t as high. And so we were seeing quite a bit of lift.

Aaron Clifford: Sorry, my watch is going crazy now. Technology we are seeing Google started to increase and then there is that freeze and not as many reviews there. So it’s kind of interesting and you guys may be thinking that as well. So some of the best practices that we’re seeing on social media you’re, we’re seeing a lot of activity and good brand promotion on various social media platforms. Folks in giving information, helping their patients and the consumers and also employees and get most up-to-date information. Many of them answering questions and linking over to their own website where there’s valuable information. And I’m sure many of you on this call have been doing that as well. You’ll see the engagement there. There’s when there’s questions being timely to making sure that your dispelling disinformation in health systems, communities and providers, physicians are so important in this particular space right now where there’s so many different rumors and just so much coming at patients and they’re looking for trusted resources and are seeing that the providers are filling an incredible boy right now when they are able to answer those questions.

Aaron Clifford: Twitter, there’s a lot of noise. There’s a lot of times I’ve seen some angry posts and some definitely the misinformation and rumors. And just some the wild, wild West that sometimes Twitter is, and our recommendation is not necessarily to answer every single one of those. You can’t, you don’t have enough resources. There’s not enough time, but there’s definitely when there is an opportunity to answer a question directly or direct and that comment or reviewer poster to correct information on your own website or social channel. We’re seeing a lot of customers having success in there and a, a large click through rate as well going to their own content with the correct information. So, you know, make sure that you’re responding to those questions calmly in a transparent manner. But also you’re not having to answer every single person that’s out there either with relation to your brand.

Aaron Clifford: It’s just too much where you can take those comments, whether it’s on a review platform, on a Facebook post or in Twitter, taking those offline. Right now the challenges, we know there are not a lot of resources offline to handle the calls that are coming in. So I say only take it offline right now. If you have somebody who’s going to pick up the phone and an actual human being to answer those questions, if not, it may be a bad patient experience or a bad brand experience. So be careful, you know, prior to COVID-19, I’m, I’m saying for the most part when you can’t resolve something online then almost always take it offline. But right now things are different and resources are scarce that many of these provider locations and systems. So you guys make that call when you can and when it makes sense to take it offline, but only if there’s a human being to answer.

Aaron Clifford: Next seeing content recommendations, you know, making sure that you’re creating content that answers all the questions on potential questions that you know about is extremely helpful. So I referenced this earlier just in terms of all of the different misinformation. But you know, we’re seeing our customers pages and locations on their own website and social channels that are answering frequently asked questions. And I recommend that this too, for those that even though Google your patients and their family members and consumers aren’t able to post questions right now to your Google my business page, you can anticipate what some of those questions are and do a Google post related to COVID and Google is prioritizing those on the Google my business page. So there’s a real opportunity there to provide information in Google my business and Google my business posts to create content for that particular channel and then link it back to your own website with them, the information and frequently asked questions.

Aaron Clifford: You know, revive health, they did a survey last week and I encourage everybody to look at revive health survey and study, but they showed that local health care experts are trusted. 86%, 86% of the respondents said they trusted local health experts. And with regards to Corona virus information, massive opportunity. If you’re a marketer and you’re a content producer for your facility, for your system, now is the time to engage your physicians. And I know the front lines are so inundated and they are swamped. And like Stewart said, just so appreciate everything that they’re doing in the communities, but with, there’s an opportunity if you have some physicians that may not be on the front lines and they may not have the patient volume that they normally have right now, might be a good time to engage with them to see if you can get some video content and ask them, maybe do an interview and produce some blogs that are helpful, that are providing relevant and good information.

Aaron Clifford: You know, posting information if there’s a need for supplies and we know across the country there’s different hotspots and there are different needs and definitely from health system to health system, the needs vary a little bit, but if there are needs, it might be appropriate to be posting some of those that information on your social channels and on your own website. And then you know, what’s interesting is I’m sure many of you follow what Cleveland clinic does is such an amazing job with health content and with just all the way around in marketing. But you know, Amanda toward [inaudible] on Twitter the other day mentioned that the health essentials portion or sites or health essential site, they had over 11 million sessions in March. And according her, that’s 3 million higher than the previous month traffic. So, you know, we’re, we are all not going to be Cleveland clinic and it was something when I was at HTA, we aspired to Oh man, we it to be, have all the content that they had, but in your corner of the world and where you’re at, it might be a good opportunity to start creating some content relevant to Covance and on a consistent basis and where it is helpful and providing value.

Aaron Clifford: You can start small. It doesn’t have to be health essentials. That’s pretty aspirational. But you can start where you’re at. Your community wants to hear from you for sure. And then we’re recommending from a consistency and communication on all of the various channels. You know, you know, sometimes and some companies, social is not managed by the same people who manage the digital content and these contents. There’s two silos. Seeing that a number of times, but there is an opportunity to make sure that you are lockstep, your content team is feeling the same information to both social and to the digital teams that are postings and making updates on the websites are really important. It sounds common sense, but you’d be surprised that some of the things that we’ve seen who were not necessarily congruent there are customers here that are doing a great job of this and making sure everything is just lock step with their digital channels with their social and with their own website.

Aaron Clifford: And then obviously in phone, their call centers, everyone’s operating from some the same playbook and we’re really important there. So demand generation versus providing information. I mean, this is shows just week to week the amount, so it’s not apparent here, but it completely, but this was a nine days we saw it and go up just double from the week of March 22nd to March 31st we saw a massive increase and what people are talking about online. And with regards to COVID. So really important to, you know, all of the effort right now in responding and putting out good information related to COVID. Don’t lose sight that there will be a day and we don’t know when obviously, but there will be a time where demand generation comes in really strong and there are some demand generation obviously right now for telemedicine.

Aaron Clifford: We’re seeing that. And so there is opportunity if you have those services and capabilities to be making sure that you’re not ignoring that piece of demand generation for your clinics and for your providers. But you know, there will be a day where this will be over. And so there is an opportunity right now to look at what does a 60 or 90 days from now look like and what are those activities and what are the demand generation activities going to happen that are outside of cope. And finally on listings management. So this has been a really incredible time in the listings management space. So as far as the volume and the changes, the temporary closures and the updates to ours and the changes that the platforms have made. So you know, it’s really important just when we’re seeing a 60% increase and just the Google my business call volume right now.

Aaron Clifford: Google released a new, or not in Google, but schema.org released and Stewart mentioned that they’re released a new schema type for the COVID-19 specific items. So if you have not checked that out, look at schema.org and the new COVID-19 specifications and if possible, implement those on your site to make sure that your content has structured appropriately so people can find and get the answers, their questions answered, really important there. But you know, if there’s been a change in hours or service suspensions or revised contact information Google is providing more priority for health systems. So it’s still, you know, at times tough. But please update all of your Google my business pages. Of course, all your other third party directories as well. If you’ve not done that, very important. And we’ve been posting articles on how to do this, what to update kind of Binary Fountain.com at the top there’s a carpet area you can click on and we’ve published a number of blogs and then we’ve had webinars in the past and cover some of these items as well.

Aaron Clifford: So Google temporarily suspending reviews as I mentioned along with the Google Q&A. there’s there they will be. Now if you post before it was the posters who are leaving reviews didn’t know that their reviews were not being posted. But now Google is saying that, Hey, this is temporarily disabled indicating that there will be a time in the future where these posts will be posted. I doubt all posts will be there. Hopefully they will take some of the ones that are damaging or not accurate with regards to the health system. Hopefully they won’t let those posts. But those are coming soon to the business Google descriptions, Google recommend adding information about any extra precautions, putting those into Google with descriptions. And then they’re temporarily allowing for small edits to your business name when it’s applicable. So testing centers, virtual visits, appointments, only a drive through curbside pickup, you know, those things.

Aaron Clifford: They’re allowing businesses to upstate there. Those particular business names where you can make a change. So it’s apparent to those that are looking on their phone or on a desktop. And then the Google post, I mentioned those earlier, but they are being, those are going to be live for 14 days after you publish them. So that’s an extension Google has made. And within response to the COVID-19 crisis and regarding Yelp, just touching on them, for those of you who get a number of Yelp reviews they announced a zero-tolerance policy for any reviews of a person contacting COVID from a business or its employees. So they’re not allowing any of those reviews to go out. You can customize the COVID-19 alert message at the top of your Yelp business page now. So that’s something else that they’ve added.

Aaron Clifford: And there’s going to be more virtual services that they are going to be offering virtual classes, virtual consultation. So if your particular community is a heavy Yelp user with regards to healthcare, some aren’t, some are make sure that you’re aware of those updates. All right. That was a lot of information squeezed in there. We have a couple of more questions, so let me get to those real quick. Stewart standby. My Q&A is not showing up exactly, but I have them right here. Here’s the question. I’m in this medical spa business. What is your feeling about doing virtual consultations and selling gift cards online? I want to be sensitive not to be asking for money at this time. Stewart, do you want to take that one?

Stewart Gandolf: Yeah. You know, it’s, it’s I think that’s makes sense. You know, it’s funny my wife and I are joking a like, I’m going to look like seventies guy. By the time this is over, right. Oh, haircut. I think that’s going to come back. And my wife is complaining like my gray hairs getting to show up underneath my you know, die. It’s like I haven’t seen her real hair coat a long time, so I think that you know, there are people that are still interested in these things. I think the idea of doing it like that, if you’re not taking money now or you’re doing those kinds of consultations, people are bored. I would just experiment with it. I think again, it’s, there’s, you can only stop if you try it and it doesn’t work. Okay. You tried it didn’t work, but that sounds like a great idea to me. I will try that for sure. Yeah,

Aaron Clifford: I would agree. Somebody asked about having a zoom panel discussion for the public with our providers. I’ll take that one and sir you can jump into, but I think that that’s a great opportunity where you have influence in your community. I think it’s great for the providers. You know, I’ve talked to a number of provider friends and they’re, they’re uncertain right now. They know it’s going to come back, but some of them are not working in the ER or in the ICU or you know, for the health system as far as in they’re waiting for their patients to come back. And so there is some capacity and some areas and I think would be beneficial if you have those providers who are willing and can provide value to your community. It’s not only good for the community, but it’s good for those providers, their own personal brand and then the brand of the health system. Stewart, any thoughts on that one?

Stewart Gandolf: Yeah, sure. I love it and I just think, you know, I’m a creative guy, right? So this is fun to me. Like when I would do is take that idea and maybe here’s a good, hopefully good advice. And it’s, it like, what if you created like a regular weekly show? You know, that would be cool. You could have your feature, your providers, you can have themes that are topical. And especially if you’re like in a hospital or hospital system, it’s a great opportunity to highlight. You know, it’s funny you mentioned that earlier era and like, you know, cause I’m presuming some of them are probably helping out in the ER and helping out with, you know, telemedicine patients depending on, you know, obviously it varies a lot, right? In New York is overwhelmed. Other States hardly feel anything right now. But the idea of taking thought leadership, this really goes back to what I said earlier, it’s like this is an opportunity to truly take thought leadership.

Stewart Gandolf: And again, what’s great about it is it’s for the good, you know, we’re trying to help people. So there’s a double whammy there. And I would just say if you do this for sure of your organic channels, but man, that paid social is so great. Instagram or Facebook Cabo in particular, we get such fantastic results with those for our clients. Cause you can reach people that you otherwise wouldn’t. So it’s a combination of paid and organic social to promote that. You know, this opportunity won’t happen again. Everybody’s home. So, yeah, I love that idea.

Aaron Clifford: Yeah, great idea. Somebody asked about texting versus emailing patients, you know, it’s a lot of that is dictated by your organization or the contact information that you have taken on intake as far as in your registration papers on what can or cannot and contacting the patients. So every organization is going to be different. Every business is going to be a little bit different. But a lot of that I would just refer you to your own. What has the patient provided permission or consent to how to be contacted? Texting rates. Obviously if you do have permission to contact them through texting, depending on the message and what you’re communicating. Texting has obviously a higher open rate and a higher click through rate than email. But you know, it the depends on the message is what I would say. There is a, another question near Greg Stewart. Anything extra to add on that?

Stewart Gandolf: Absolutely. And the texting is so intrusive. It’s very powerful. You just have to use it correctly.

Aaron Clifford: Good. good question here. How does downstream provider services such as radiology engage with physicians who are moving to telemedicine instead of traditional B2B methods? That’s a great question. Stewart, do you want to take that one?

Stewart Gandolf: No, that’s interesting. It’s again, there’s opportunities that are surprising. You know, obviously it’s radiology and radiation oncology. They’re not usually the stars of the show. They’re usually behind the scenes, but it does vary, you know, like we have just trying to think through how radiology, it could be a radiation college and I’ll try to think of something for radiation, but we have a really, really highly prestigious and well respected radiation oncology group and New Jersey. And we oftentimes we’ll do, we’re in normal times we do paid advertising, paid social for things like prostate cancer and you know, radiation for an alternative to those surgery and it works. So even something like radiation oncology that you wouldn’t think would be very consumer direct has opportunity, you know, for now I get, I feel like any doctor has an opportunity.

Stewart Gandolf: So if you’re looking at radiology or imaging, you know, to be talking about, you know, for example, just making this up we want the our radiology departments, we talking about what do we do now that we can’t do emigrants, right? So you know, how do you take, or when is a mammogram, maybe a routine mammogram doesn’t make sense in this environment, but if you feel alone, then what, how do you really know what that is? So there’s an example of some thought leadership. You could almost any, that’s what’s fun about this business is just trying to think a little harder and you might find an idea that can be, wow, that’s cool. And then you’re, you’re also engaging your doctors that way. So you know, they can feel heard and feel part of the program.

Aaron Clifford: Okay, great. Great. great. We’re going to end on that question. I know we are about to go. We’re a little over now, but thank you Stewart and thank you all for joining. We will be sure to follow up with those questions we weren’t able to answer during the session. So we’ll send a response there and if you have any additional questions, I know Stewart and I am available as well. Please feel free to reach out. Thank you for joining us. We will be sending the recording soon to all the participants along with additional resources that might come up for further guidance from all of us at Binary Fountain. We hope you stay well and you stay healthy. We’re here to help. So please let us know and I’m sure Stewart, you all at Healthcare Success feel the same way. So I’ll speak on behalf of both of us. We’re here to help here to provide any assistance that we can stay safe. Thank you for joining.

Stewart Gandolf: Thanks guys.

The post COVID Healthcare Marketing Questions: Pause, Pivot, or Push for Success? appeared first on Healthcare Success.

COVID Healthcare Marketing Questions: Pause, Pivot, or Push for Success? syndicated from

[tortuga-aak]

Facebook's VP of Product made a 'massive, drastic change' to her team to get Facebook Live off the ground

Facebook

Fidji Simo's team at Facebook says that an attribute that makes her stand out is her focus.

It helped her and her team develop products like Facebook Live.

Over the course of a week, she shifted more than 100 engineers to dedicate them solely to the development of Facebook Live.

  When we asked Fidji Simo what she wanted to share with our readers, she polled her team at Facebook to see what they would highlight as her core competency. What attribute or habit has prompted her rocket-fueled rise through the company’s ranks? There was quick and enthusiastic consensus: Simo has the uncanny ability to juggle many important projects and priorities without losing focus.

As Vice President of Product at Facebook, this emphasis on intentional work has helped her team of more than 400 product managers and engineers develop countless innovative products for News Feed across video, news and advertising, including Facebook Live. Her knack for focus shows in these products. But it became even more apparent to her two years ago when she needed to manage her team remotely while on five months of bed rest during her pregnancy. Her continued success depended on rigorous prioritization and execution.

“It required immense focus,” Simo says. Working remotely meant she was forced to say “no” to anything that wasn’t critical, which created the time and space — physically and mentally — to put 100% of her effort toward the most pressing and important projects. By cutting out anything nonessential she was able to focus on the most strategic priorities, not only for the product team, but for herself.

“I actually felt so much more productive than when I was in the office,” she says of her time working remotely. When she returned, she brought this commitment to focused work with her — eager to share it with her team.

“We have the luxury of working in an industry where there are endless opportunities and low-hanging fruit lying everywhere,” she says. It’s extremely tempting to do it all. But ‘doing it all’ is as impossible as it is impractical, particularly when you’re building products. It's not just people who can lose focus — products can too.

“It’s so easy, no matter how experienced and talented you are, to end up with ‘Frankenstein products’ because you’re trying to achieve all the goals at once, without a clear sense of what's most important,” she says.

Simo stresses that focusing isn’t simply about avoiding the temptation to multitask until a priority project is complete. Instead, it means truly understanding what you want to accomplish and centering your activities entirely around that. In this interview she shares the tactics, practices, habits and mindset that have made focus not just integral to her work, but to her entire team and what they produce for billions of people on Facebook.

Focus on the intention of your work

Focus is doing things with a clear intention and making sure that all your decisions match your intention.

Questions to ask to find focus on a project:

What is the main problem this product is solving?

Who are the people we are solving this problem for?

What is the emotion/feeling that we want our product to create or evoke?

Is this particular implementation aligned with the problem we're solving for?

Is this the product/feature most likely to successfully solve that problem?

Simo asks these questions during weekly product reviews, when teams come in to present their plans. It’s particularly important to ask them and get comprehensive answers at the beginning of a project — but continuing to ask throughout is an overlooked tactic that ensures work doesn’t veer off course unintentionally.

I spend a lot of time making sure there is real clarity of intent before digging into product specifics and implementation.

To maintain collective focus and maximize the odds of successful product development, her Facebook product team is now organized and mobilized by the intention of their work, instead of the initial name of or label on a specific project (which can be stickier and harder to shake than you might think) or even the proposed product vision.

“I had a team focused on the problem of helping celebrities engage with their audience,” Simo explains. “One of the main things that team was working on was a Q&A product that helped celebrities respond to fans via text in comments. But in talking with actual celebrities, the team realized most of them found it more fun and efficient to respond with video. That became the impetus behind Live.”

Had they not focused on the problem (instead of the product they had in mind), they might have continued focusing on tools to make answering questions easier. Instead, they were able to pursue the bigger opportunity to define a completely new form of engagement between celebrities and their audiences.

Drew Angerer/Getty Images

With an intended outcome as their North Star, product teams are no longer bound by preconceived notions of the possible “products” or “features” they can build — freeing them up to iterate and innovate until they find the best possible solution, even if it’s one they never sought to build when they first got started.

“Had the team been defined by its product, calling themselves ‘the Q&A team,’ they probably would have been much less open to shifting toward the much better solution: live video,” Simo says.

Focus is not about traveling in a straight line

A clear intention is necessary for focused work, but Simo says those intentions should not be impervious to change. You have to build in the flexibility to change course from the beginning. Focus doesn’t mean you charge single-minded toward a goal. It means you pay rapt and incremental attention to how you need to turn the rudder on a project.

“I come from a family of fishermen,” Simo says. “It's much easier to go in the direction you want if you make a thousand small changes along the way, rather than letting the boat go in a completely different direction and needing one big maneuver to get back on track.”

But before you can make those small changes, you must first recognize the need for change. That requires regular reflection, a sense of self-awareness, and the willingness to pivot when new information surfaces.

“When your situation changes, your focus should change, too,” Simo says. “But when you're really busy — which we all are — you don't always take the time to question whether your intention is still the right one, and you don't always question whether the decisions you're making are still in line with what you set out to do.”

Simo says you must routinely ask yourself two key questions:

Are these intentions still the correct ones?

Are my recent decisions in line with these intentions?

She takes these sessions of reflection seriously, calendaring concrete time to evaluate her intentions and actions on a weekly basis. As part of this, she runs through all of the major decisions she made in the last week and all of the incidental meetings she had and evaluates whether they were consistent with what she wanted to accomplish.

These aren’t metaphorical meetings, and they’re not negotiable. Simo blocks off between 30 and 60 minutes on her calendar every Monday morning to ensure that her actions are aligned with and supporting her intentions.

These weekly clarity meetings have a set agenda:

List the broader team or organization’s top priorities.

Check that your personal priorities for the week still align with those priorities.

Check for any new information or data that requires a shift in priorities.

Check priorities against your time allocation, meetings and commitments that week.

Make any adjustments to your calendar to better reflect your priorities.

Note any priority adjustments that impact or need to be communicated to your team.

Focus is really about aligning with your purpose – whether it be your purpose on a specific project or your higher purpose in life. When actions reflect intentions, you’re in alignment with your personal mission. Only then can you truly shine.

“I also look at the big meetings that I have during the week, and for each of these meetings, I set a clear agenda of what I'm trying to achieve in that meeting, personally and for the group,” Simo says. “That way when I go from meeting to meeting during the week it's less jarring because I already know what my goals are.”

Having this clarity on upcoming meetings — literally a checklist of what she wants to walk out with — and an understanding of her personal priorities ensures that her team’s actions and priorities stay aligned.

“My Monday solo meeting informs the things that I'm going to talk to my team about,” Simo says. “At the end of the day, they’re the ones who help scale this intention throughout the organization.”

When you’re a manager, founder or leader, constantly communicating your priorities to your team is key, Simo says. A shift in your priorities often means that the team will also need to adjust to keep moving in the right direction.

Being intentional is the ultimate integrity in leadership. It’s stating your values and intentions clearly, then putting your money where your mouth is.

This was definitely the case when Facebook Live started to gain traction. All the data Simo and her team were gathering pointed to Live as a critical product — the most social form of video they could put out into the world. The team knew Live was a priority, but they weren’t necessarily acting like it.

“If Live is our number one intention, then our actions need to match that intention,” Simo remembers saying. “If we keep it staffed at only 10 engineers and continue to do a lot of other things on the side, then we aren’t acting according to our intention.”

In order to align their decisions with their goal to make Live a transformative tool for creators, Simo and her leadership team decided to pause all other projects and shift their staffing assignments to have more than 100 engineers solely dedicated to the development of Facebook Live.

“This was a massive, drastic change,” Simo acknowledges. “But if you're stuck in the notion that some changes are impossible — like shifting 90 engineers over the course of a week — then you're going to miss opportunities.”

Whether you’re running a tiny startup or directing a massive division, where you put people (including yourself) will always be one of the greatest expressions and realizations of your focus. You always want to check in and validate that staffing is in line with what you want to accomplish. Too often these two things fall out of step without anyone noticing.

On a weekly basis, ask these questions to see if staffing (and resource allocation generally) matches your Priorities:

Do I have enough people on this project?

Do I have the right people on this project?

What trade-offs need to be made to answer the previous two questions with “Yes”?

Moving key people, or even large teams, to a critical project is all about clearly conveying importance and intention. “The difference between change (which can be good) and thrash (which is always bad), is that with the former everyone understands the intention behind the shift in direction,” says Simo.

With Facebook Live, she gathered all 100 people into a room and showed them the data, painting a picture of how large the opportunity was to get the product into people’s hands, especially those of creators and media companies. She also ran through all the other existing projects on the team’s docket to show why and how they could be pushed out in order to seize the greater opportunity.

“The only way to have this type of flexibility is to build a culture that makes change totally expected and acceptable — that’s what will make these instances less painful,” says Simo. “You create this culture by putting people in charge of a problem, not a product; reinforcing again and again that you’re all working in a market where assumptions change and that’s okay; releasing products early to get initial feedback and adjusting accordingly. If you do all that, you create an organization that can absorb change — and that’s vital.”

Creating ideal conditions for focus

“My calendar is my most powerful tool for enforcing my prioritization,” Simo says. “It’s important to be proactive with how you want to spend your time instead of letting other people dictate how you're going to spend it.”

Youtube

This matrix helps growing teams make great decisions

Every three months, Simo's admin audits her calendar, showing her the percent of time she spent on each project, the percent of time she spent with individual leaders versus in large meetings, and the percent of time she spent recruiting versus managing versus building products. Together, they adjust these percentages to set goals for the next quarter. During this process, she’s looking to see if the breakdown in time supported her intentions. If not, the three-month mark gives her a chance for a reset and rebalance.

This audit also serves as a check on team-wide rhythms. She identifies recurring meetings that have outlived their usefulness — i.e. they no longer serve the intention for which they were created. “I ask myself and the attendees whether each meeting is still the best way to achieve the goals that led to its creation, and we often end up canceling at least one.”

Here’s an example of how this meticulous attention to calendaring works in practice: A couple of months ago, Simo’s big priority was to clearly lay out the product direction for Watch, Facebook’s new video destination. But two weeks into the project, she realized during her weekly Monday reflection that she’d made little progress. Reviewing her calendar, it was clear that she hadn’t been making it her top priority. She barely had an hour slotted for it each week, and no meeting scheduled with the broader team to get their input.

“All of the other things on my calendar were less important but were taking more time for legacy reasons,” she says. “There were recurring meetings that didn’t require my attendance anymore, meetings to make decisions on less important topics, etc.”

Running this basic check-in allowed her to change her schedule for the coming week to allocate more time to crafting the direction for Watch. A check-in like this built into every week as a routine exercise can transform someone who is reactive into someone who can proactively take on the most important items on their list.

Instead of thinking of it as a quality or skill you bring to bear on something, consider focus to be the force you exert to stay in line with your intentions.

Too often “urgent issues” pop up throughout the week and sneak onto your calendar, filling it up and edging out the projects, issues and opportunities you intended to focus on. This is how you get overwhelmed and eventually burn out — but it’s usually unnecessary.

“The truly urgent stuff — the stuff that cannot be postponed and needs to take your focus away from your strategic priority—that's pretty rare,” Simo says.

Having a specific theme for each week makes it easier to see what’s truly important, and can help you identify which proposed meetings don’t align with your priorities enough to make it on the calendar that week, she says. By theme, she’s referring to a particular wave of productivity — for example, analyzing data to make a particular decision, setting the narrative for a product, digging deeper on the designs for a specific area, building out a particular feature set, testing out functionality.

While you can’t simply stop responding to meeting invites or answering emails, you can manage your calendar in a more proactive and defensive way.

“If you set up a viable alternative to a meeting request that doesn’t line up with your goals, it usually ends up being okay,” Simo says. When a requested meeting would unnecessarily draw attention away from your primary objective for the week, she suggests clearly re-stating your focus for the day or week and then proposing an alternative solution that keeps your focus intact.

What to say when something can wait: "I’m focused 100% on X this week, so if this isn’t an urgent issue, let’s re-evaluate next week."

What to say when you need a little time: “I’m fully focused on X right now, so I can’t meet about that this week. But if you send me an email, I will get back to you with an answer by Y.”

What to say when someone else can handle it: “This week, I need to focus all my time on X, but if you need an urgent answer, you can reach out to my team lead, Z, who is focused on that issue."

Simo emphasizes that delegating shouldn’t be used as a way to push off work, but rather as a way of directing questions, issues and opportunities with forward momentum to someone who is or can be focused on addressing them at that time.

“It’s actually empowering my leads and giving them more responsibility,” she says. By having a clear understanding of not only your own priorities, but those of your team leads and colleagues, you can help support others’ key objectives too.

For this reason, priorities are always and routinely discussed in a cascading series of meetings, starting with a Monday morning staff-wide meeting (scheduled right after Simo’s own self-reflection). During that time, she always walks through top priorities for the whole org, her own priorities, and those of the team leads who report to her. Sometimes they share the same list, but often they divide and conquer and use this time to establish clear ownership.

After this, she devotes time in every one-on-one meeting (and has her reports do the same) to understand other team members’ priorities and how they’re tackling them. After understanding a top priority, her next step is always to ask: “What needs to happen to for project X to go faster?”

“Frequently, the answer is that they need to spend more time on it — in which case we go over everything else that is or could be distracting them from it and work through pushing off and deprioritizing those items,” Simo says. “All of this might seem totally obvious, but I’ve seen so many people not have the discipline to run these exercises, and they end up in a state where they know what their priorities are, but they don’t enforce them with their time, energy, etc.”

Prioritized focus is all about creating checkpoints for yourself — ideally weekly meetings with yourself, your org and with your manager, so you get some reinforcement and help doubling down on actions that will help you reach your intentions.

This doesn’t just work in your professional life. It’s also an important habit to master to reach personal goals. Earlier this year, Simo realized she was missing the creative happiness she used to find while painting, but she hadn’t “found time” for it in years.

Youtube“Again, my actions weren’t matching my intention. I wanted to live a creative life, but my energy wasn’t spent contributing to this goal,” she says. “So I decided to do one art project a week. You would think finding the time to stick to it was the harder part, but it wasn’t. What was hard was realizing that being creative was one of my core goals — it was being honest with myself about my priorities first and then enforcing them going forward.”

Planning for potential distractions

Inevitably, there will be some meetings or issues that can’t be handled by someone else or delayed a week — but those shouldn’t derail your focus either, Simo says.

“By default, my one-on-one meetings are 15 minutes,” she says. She understands why people may want to connect in person to communicate regularly, but it’s often just a single point or decision they need to relay, which rarely necessitates a full 30-minute or 60-minute meeting. Many people don’t check in to figure out how much time should be realistically allotted to something. They just default to 30 minutes for a small conversation and 60 minutes for a larger conversation. This contributes to calendars looking like Swiss cheese.

By booking shorter meetings by default, Simo says she’s able to create space for a lot of interactions with her team without filling everyone’s calendars with long meetings that inevitably expand to the time booked for no good reason.

Simo also recommends setting aside blocks of intentional buffer time in your calendar each day or week to slot in last-minute surprises. Doing so means you don’t have to siphon off time from your strategic priorities to handle these unexpected issues. If no surprises pop up, you can use that reserved time to continue working on your primary project for the day or week.

For example, block out two hours on a Friday and label it “buffer time.” When anyone asks for your time during the week, ask if they can make it only between those hours.

“I’m most focused when I set my own agenda versus when I let others set my agenda,” Simo says. Careful calendar management ensures that her priorities and intentions are always reflected on her schedule, creating the conditions for focused work.

“I don't want to pretend that I have totally mastered it — after all, intention is like a rough diamond. You have to polish and refine it until it really sparkles,” she says. “But when I'm very specific and engaged with what I focus on, when my calendar matches that, my decisions match that, and it’s all very aligned — that’s when I’m most productive and efficient.”

Focusing on my intentions is where my power comes from. Imagine what you can accomplish when every ounce of your energy gets applied in a way that serves your happiness, or any of your goals in life. You can become a force of nature.

NOW WATCH: I won't trade in my iPhone 6s for an iPhone X or iPhone 8 — here's why

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[megannrus-blog]

Wuthering Heights (freshman yr)

Revenge is the backbone to Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Without it, the novel wouldn’t be the suspenseful, dark story that most people, at least in our decade, still seem to thoroughly enjoy reading. Heathcliff, a man turned bitter by heartbreak and obvious childhood neglect, seeks vengeance on all those who have ever done him wrong. In Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, Heathcliff is poisoned by his desire for retribution and blinded by his love for Catherine, which leads him to his ultimate downfall, proving there to be no justification in revenge.

Heathcliff is a victim in his early childhood years. First of all, he is taken off the street as a boy with no parents and no home, and suddenly forced to live in a house full of rich, slightly snobby people he had never met before. The children, Catherine and Hindley, take an immediate disliking to the boy. He speaks complete gibberish and because he is a gypsy, he also looks different. With darker skin and darker hair, they feel threatened. Not only that, but Mr. Earnshaw, their father, favors him. He likes Heathcliff’s cool, composed nature, and trusts him. Nelly tells Lockwood that when Heathcliff was around seven, “he seemed a sullen, patient child; hardened perhaps, to ill-treatment. He would stand Hindley’s blows without winking or shedding a tear” (36). She indicates that he is already affected by this treatment, even at such a young age. He wears a cold exterior, refusing to show that Hindley, Edgar or anybody could ever cause him any pain. But Heathcliff is also patient. As he suffers through his childhood, he comforts himself by imagining the greatness of his retaliation, and how powerful he will feel afterwards. He tells Nelly, after a particularly bad night, “I’m trying to settle how I shall pay Hindley back. I don’t care how long I wait, if I can only do it at last. I hope he will not die before I do!” (61). Already, Heathcliff has dedicated his life to getting revenge on the man he abhors, not aware that it will ruin him. The cruel treatment and abuse Heathcliff received as a young boy is the mainstay of his hate towards those he seeks reprisal on.

After Heathcliff loses Catherine, he has nothing left to live for but revenge. After staying locked up with the Linton parents for five weeks, Catherine is a new person. No longer does she roam the moors with Heathcliff or recklessly cause trouble; she is a lady. Catherine’s sudden change upsets Heathcliff, who loves her for who she really is. Ever since he was little, he wanted to fit in with society. When he was around seven, he told Nelly “I wish I had light hair and fair skin, and was dressed and behaved as well, and had a chance of being as rich as [Edgar] will be!” (57). Nelly consoled him by telling him that Edgar was weaker and he was stronger. However, the same insecurity comes back when Catherine agrees to marry Edgar, completely pivoting the novel and bringing the two houses, Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange, together. Heartbroken and furious, Heathcliff leaves and doesn’t come back for three years, a few months after Catherine and Edgar are married. When he does, he is a changed man. Heathcliff had acquired wealth when he was away, even though it never actually says how. He is also more powerful, byronic, and mature in both physical and mental aspects. One day, when Heathcliff refuses to leave even after Edgar says to, Catherine locks the two men in a room together. Edgar is overcome with terror and quickly departs, knowing that without backup, he’d never be able to defeat Heathcliff. Later, he declares that Catherine has to choose; Heathcliff or him. Catherine, torn in half by the two men she loves in two completely different ways, locks herself in her room and refuses to eat. In the meantime, Heathcliff starts his hidden plan of gambling for the deed to Wuthering Heights, eloping with Edgar’s sister, Isabella, and doing to Hareton what Hindley had done to him; starving him of his education. Finally, in one heartwrenching scene, Heathcliff and Catherine declare their unfulfillable love for one another. Heathcliff tells Catherine “Misery and degradation and death and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart- you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine” (167). It is true; Catherine had chosen to marry Edgar. If she had chosen what she truly desired, both her heart and Heathcliff’s would still be intact. Later that night, Catherine dies during childbirth. It’s tragic, really. As they finally admit their love for each other, one of them dies. The only person that has ever truly loved Heathcliff, is now entirely irretrievable. Still, there’s no way he could ever let her go. As he stands in the garden, mourning over his incredible loss, he tells her this: “Catherine Earshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you- haunt me, then!... Be with me always- take any form- drive me mad! only do not lead me in this abyss where I cannot find you!” (173). Heathcliff doesn’t care if he goes insane, as long as some form of Catherine is near him. Without her, he is left in an abyss where the only visible light he can see is through an illusion of sweet revenge, and he holds on to that.

Heathcliff’s unrelenting desire for revenge leads him to his demise. He is hardened during his childhood from neglect and abuse, heartbroken when his one love chooses a man he hates over him, and left alone with nobody to love him when she dies. He led a miserable life with only one real goal, and that was to fulfill his greatly desired vengeance on everyone that has ever caused him pain, excluding Catherine. Even that didn’t happen. But honestly, even though Heathcliff has always had an extremely sinister side to him, you can’t really blame him for wanting revenge. But some of them deserve it, namely Hindley. The others, not so much. But Heathcliff doesn’t care about whether someone actually deserves it or not; he is so engrossed in the dream, he cannot see clearly.

“I have neither a fear, nor a presentiment, nor a hope of death… And yet I cannot continue in this condition! I have to remind myself to breath- almost to remind my heart to beat!... I have a single wish, and my whole being and faculties are yearning to attain it. They have yearned towards it so long, and so unwaveringly, that I'm convinced it will be reached - and soon - because it has devoured my existence: I am swallowed up in the anticipation of its fulfillment” (335).

Heathcliff tells her that revenge has taken over his entire being and that it’s the only thing really keeping him alive. And although it has “devoured his existence”, it’s not what he wants most. Heathcliff’s true wish, is to spend eternity with Catherine. His plans of revenge, after some time, result in his ownership of both Thrushcross Grange and Wuthering Heights, where he forces both Cathy and Hareton to stay. Initially, they don’t get along, but that changes in due course. One day, Heathcliff walks in on Hareton and Cathy sitting next to each other, enjoying each others company. When they both turn to look at him with dark brown eyes identical to Catherine’s, he is immediately disarmed. No longer does he feel the need to finish off his revenge. In fact, he feels very little. “I have lost the faculty of enjoying their destruction, and I am too idle to destroy for nothing” (334). Heathcliff finally realizes that revenge was never really worth his time. Even though it is the perfect moment to strike, where nothing could hinder him or get in his way, his will completely vanishes. Instead, he realizes all he ever wanted was to be with Catherine. When he sees her ghost, he is reminded of this insatiable love that he has withheld for so many years. Not only that, but it’s the first time in forever he seems remotely happy, and not for morbid reasons. Nelly describes him afterwards as having “a strange joyful glitter in his eyes that altered the aspect of his whole face” (338). Before he goes to bed that next night, Nelly witnesses Heathcliff talking about Catherine as if she was in the room with them, but not visible to them. He then shuts himself in his room with only murmurs and groans being heard throughout the whole night- perhaps being him talking to Catherine. The next morning, Nelly finds Heathcliff’s dead body. There’s no known illness in which he died. He just simply willed it on. “It is for God to punish wicked people; we should learn to forgive” (61). Nelly told young Heathcliff who had declared his dreams of payback for the first time, that is isn’t his job. This is ironic because Heathcliff, after spending his entire life working for something, doesn’t quite figure this out until the end of the book. If only he had listened to Nelly and believed her, the destruction of his life and of many others would have been avoided. Revenge hadn’t been as fulfilling as the love Heathcliff had for Catherine.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte proves that there is no justification in revenge through the downfall of Heathcliff, who had persuaded himself into thinking that vengeance was his only option after the death of his one true love, Catherine. Heathcliff’s brutal childhood and loss of his soulmate leads to his obsession with revenge. Just as he has the perfect opportunity to complete it, after many long years of waiting, he just doesn’t care anymore. Heathcliff has nobody and is living such a wretched life that he can’t even bring himself to eat or sleep. All he does is just exist, until eventually, he doesn’t- at least in human form. After dying, Heathcliff gets to spend eternity with the one person who loves him just as much as he loves her. Revenge does not lead you to happiness, despite what many may imagine, but rather to a life of misery filled with false pretenses and goals. Not being able to forgive or even just forget sets you up for a life of being alone.