#and then to use her picture as wife in europe...

[pynkhues]

I don't dislike Grace because none of the characters are perfect and this is probably asking a lot of a woman in 1910, but I really hated how she let her mom blame Louis for Paul's death, and treat him horribly, with very little pushback. Telling Louis "Don't let it inside" doesn't help much. But that's looking at things from a 21st century lens, for one.

I mean, they're not a family who communicates well at the best of times, but I wouldn't be surprised if there is a small part of her that blames him too. It was interesting to re-watch the ep last night and see how much the family just doesn't know what to do with Paul, but that there's really no shortage of love for him. He was institutionalised in Jaccksonville until their father died, and it's implied that Louis and their mother made the decision together to bring him home given the two-hander between them at breakfast, and are now effectively paying off the church to care for him.

It's a really interesting thread here, because in many ways Louis' both father and son for Florence in a way I don't think I picked up on the first time watching. He's patriarch of the family, but ultimately deferrent to Florence's matriarch, and this makes him both father and brother to Grace in the way that he'll later be both father and brother to Claudia.

And look, I do think Louis deep down knows it's not enough, but Grace is the only character to try and reconcile that in a scene I find super interesting, because Louis shifts directly between those roles - concerned and equal brother at first, and then shutting her down in a way that I would describe as quite paternalistic.

Paul's Grace's brother too, and what gets me about this scene is that it's like she can see it. She is worried, she is exploring their options, she's not ignoring the problem in the way that both Louis and their mother are, and it's a pattern that ultimately Louis repeats with Claudia. That paternalistic thread in him dismisses and diminishes the voices of women - including the women that he loves - in order to protect his own feelings, his own interests, his own priorities, under the guise of looking after those who can't look after themselves. The fact that immediately after this he tries to soften the harshness with the extravagant wedding gift too - again, Grace is a prized and spoilt daughter.

Paul's death is nobody's fault, he is so well-loved, but Grace, like Claudia, is voiceless and disempowered in her own family, and Louis offers her brotherhood with one hand and slams a hand on the table as her father with the other.

[thoughtfulseason]

i have to comfort myself that after the toughest times comes the best cause these past few days it’s been so awful, it’s like everyone’s out to get me and i’m just so tired of everything

[sansaorgana]

Hey! I absolutely love your work and was wondering if you would be open to doing a John egan x reader but reader is really close with gales girl Marge and kinda takes care of her while the war is happening and neither of the guys know till they come back and release that Mabye reader moved across the street from Marge and how much she’s been helping Marge, I think it would be interesting to see a domestic and fluff relationship between the two girls and + the men being involved

hello, honey! 💘 thank you so much for your request 😘 it was a very interesting scenario, I love the idea of women helping each other in difficult times 💪🏻💪🏾 not gonna lie, though, I was so jealous of Marge while writing it 🤣 I'm a hopeless case when it comes to Buck, I swear 🙄

Nothing was easy when the boys were away. Handling everything on your own and worrying about your husband at the same time was driving you crazy. You could only imagine how the women left alone with their children had to feel like. You weren’t sure if you’d handle that.

Some women handled the new reality better, some had a more difficult time to adjust. Marge was one of them and as Bucky’s wife you felt responsible for her just like you knew that your husband felt responsible for her boyfriend. They were closest friends and you were aware that if it was Bucky who had stayed in The US, he would take care of Marge because she was important for Gale. But it wasn’t him here, it was you.

You had only met her a few times before John went to Europe but she was sweet and she had wanted you to remain friends like your men were. You would call each other every week and talk on the telephone, trying to cheer yourselves up. But when both of your men had found themselves in the POW camp, you noticed that Marge was getting worse.

You packed your bags and decided to move in with her for some time. She was living alone and spending her whole days worrying. You couldn’t let that happen.

“They are together there, darling,” you squeezed her hands in yours when you were sitting together on her couch. “Think about that, it’s quite lucky that they’re together even there,” you didn’t know how else to cheer her up.

“But God only knows how long they will be there…” She sniffled her tears back. “What if we never see them again? How do they treat them?”

“We can try to write them letters, how about that? I know that the Red Cross helps with delivering them. Maybe they will get ours,” you proposed and she nodded, hesitantly.

“You know, Gale asked me to marry him in his last letter before he went down,” she confessed and you gasped before hugging her tight.

“Oh, congratulations! Then you absolutely have to write to him! You can’t leave him waiting!” You encouraged her and she broke a smile.

“Of course I’m going to say yes.”

“Of course,” you winked at her. “You know, some part of me is less worried now when I know John’s in the camp. At least he doesn’t fly anymore,” you told her. “I only hope he behaves well there because you know what he’s like. If he acts up too much, they can hurt him.”

“I’m sure that my Gale is watching over him and doesn’t let him act stupid,” Marge squeezed your hand and you nodded. She was right. The boys were looking out for each other. Just like you and Marge.

A few weeks later you already decided to stay in the same town where Marge lived. There was a house down the road for sale and you decided to move in there. You knew that John wouldn’t get mad about it and he’d like to live closer to his friend, too. You were sure he’d follow Buck wherever he’d go so you just didn’t listen to your family telling you it was an impulsive decision. It was not. Marge needed you and you needed her.

In the meantime, Buck had his birthday in late December. Marge was very sad about it so you came up with an idea of baking him a cake and decorating it with candles. You invited a few close friends and took pictures of his birthday party to show him when he’s back. She wrote to him about it in a letter that she hoped the Red Cross would manage to deliver. You did the same thing in September 1944 when it was your husband’s birthday and then again in another December for Buck again. This time it was more sad, though, when you both realised that it was his second birthday in the POW camp already. You were slowly starting to lose hope to ever see your husband again, too. But you tried not to show it and be strong. For Marge.

In the letter you wrote to your husband, you mentioned that you moved closer to Marge and that you were looking after her. But you didn’t tell him everything because there were things that men would not understand. And there were things men should not know. You didn’t want them to worry even more but there were nights where both of you would just hug each other and cry. You tried to remain strong for her, to be the responsible one. But it was so difficult. You would let a few silent tears flow, trying to cheer her up although the words you were saying were not believable even to you.

“Germany is losing this war, Marge, we’re gonna see our boys again, soon,” you rubbed her back on those nights as you were sitting by the fireplace.

“What if they get rid of their prisoners? They’re not good people, they don’t respect the laws,” she sobbed.

And what could you answer? You felt the same, you were worried about the exact same thing on all the sleepless nights, clutching on the sheets and praying to all the gods above you to keep your men safe.

“It just won’t happen,” you told her as if you were a god yourself and you knew. But you didn’t, you couldn’t know. She chose to trust you because she desperately needed to be assured.

Sometimes you wished it had been you being held by her. Sometimes you felt weak, too. But you chose to look after her and you would not back out.

In the summer of 1945 they finally came back and you threw a small party at Marge’s house to greet the boys home. Everything had been arranged by just the two of you – flowers, decorations and food. You had lots of fun preparing it together, excitedly awaiting to see your men again.

Of course you feared they would be different now. They had spent so much time in that camp, there was no way they’d come back the same. But you promised each other to always be there for the other one; to help and support when needed. You were like family now.

At the first sight they seemed the same – except for the eyes, they were sadder now. But your John was still playful as he spun you around and rubbed his nose with yours. He made a few teasing comments and inappropriate jokes that would make Gale roll his eyes and sigh. Gale seemed to be the same as well – kind and charming as always, with only a few new scars on his cheeks that Marge kissed all over.

But you knew it was just an act. You knew because the way you behaved oh-so-normal around them was an act, too. You were smiling and joking around with your husband like in the old days, but in fact you just wanted to curl up in his arms and cry out all the ugly tears you had been holding inside for the past two years. 

When all the guests left, you helped Marge in the kitchen to wash the dishes before you and John would go home, too. You were talking with each other softly about some silly things when Gale and John entered the kitchen and leaned on the wall as they watched you.

“What is it, boys?” You asked them with a soft smile.

“Just admiring our wives, can’t we?” John winked at you and you playfully rolled your eyes.

“I’m not a wife yet,” Marge teased.

“Soon you will be!” You reminded her excitedly and she giggled.

“I’ll go to the garden to see if there aren’t any dishes there,” she told you and you nodded. Marge went outside and you went back to drying the plates with a cloth.

“Thank you,” you heard Gale’s voice behind you as you flinched.

“Gee, you scared me. For what, Buck?” You asked.

“You were taking care of her,” he looked into your eyes deeply and for the first time this evening you could see all the hurt and pain on his face that he had been trying to hide.

“It’s nothing, don’t even mention that,” you told him as your voice broke. “You were looking after my Bucky.”

“And he was looking after me. Every day,” Gale nodded and walked away from you as Marge entered the kitchen again with a few plates and glasses.

You glanced at your husband who went oddly silent. He only watched you with sad eyes and you realised there were things about that war they would not tell you nor Marge in a long time. Perhaps never.

You finished the dishes and said goodbye to Marge and Gale. They were not married yet so he was supposed to rent a place nearby for a few weeks until the wedding but on that night he wanted to stay with her and you couldn’t blame him. You waved at them for the one last time and took John’s hand to go back to your house.

You opened the door and turned the light on with a relaxed sigh.

“I hope you like it, John. I had to manage everything on my own,” you told him.

He had been in the house early in the morning after his arrival but soon after you had left for the party at Marge’s house.

“Yeah, I can see that. Some things need to be fixed,” he pointed out and you shook your head at him as he grinned widely and pulled you closer for a hug. “I will repair them, don’t you worry, sugar.”

“Good. But overall you like it, yes?” You bit on your lower lip.

“Of course I do. It’s beautiful. But I’d live with you in a tent by the river, you know that? Everything would be beautiful with you in it,” he leaned in to place a soft kiss upon your lips and you threw your hands around his neck. “You’ve been a brave girl. I know what you did for Marge,” he whispered.

“I’ve already told Buck that it’s nothing.”

“No, it’s not nothing,” John insisted. “I know how much it had to cost you. Taking care of her when you needed to be taken care of, too. I know,” he caressed your cheek gently. “I’ve been taking care of him. Yeah, he was the one to keep me out of trouble but I’ve made sacrifices for him that only I know about,” he confessed.

For a moment, you felt jealous of Buck Cleven.

“I guess we are just good friends,” you tried to make a lighthearted comment about it. “They’re very lucky to have us.”

“Mhm, incredibly lucky,” John chuckled and leaned in once again to rub your nose with his. “I missed you terribly. Every day and every night. I’m not as good with words as Buck is, I’ve never been the romantic type but I hope you know that I mean it. I love you,” he whispered and you cupped his face with a smile.

“Bucky, baby, I didn’t fall for you because you were a romantic or good with words anyway. I fell for you because you were my goof. My class clown,” you assured him. “And I missed you, I missed you, I missed you… Terribly. Awfully. Dreadfully,” you kept saying these words and laughing through the tears of joy as he laughed, too.

“Okay, enough, I get the picture,” he pecked your lips. “Your goof is back now,” he assured you and you caressed his hair with your fingertips.

“I’m glad,” you nodded. “But if my goof needs to be sad sometimes or wants me to hug him and tell him it’s going to be alright, I don’t want him to keep it a secret, alright? I’m here for you, baby, for better and for worse,” you promised.

Bucky pulled you even closer for a very tight hug as he hid his face in the crook of your neck, his moustache tickling your soft skin. You put your arms around him and squeezed him in a loving way.

“I’m grateful, sweetheart,” he whispered into your ear as he placed a small kiss on your cheek, “but now it’s time for you to be taken care of.”

MASTERLIST

[lovelytsunoda]

spill the wine // lance stroll

summary: honeymooning with the hutchence-strolls. capri will always hold a special place in y/n's heart.

pairing: lance stroll x hutchence!reader

part two of the welcome to wherever you are verse

author's note: i'm so glad that you guys loved the first part of the welcome to wherever you are verse! i was so excited to make this into a series, combining two of my current hyperfixations. i hope that the first part was enough to make some of you curious about the life and times of my favourite aussie rock band. for people who are looking to learn more, i recommend watching the channel seven drama 'never tear us apart', starring luke arnold as micheal hutchence. it's two episodes, each of them an hour and a half that takes a look into the rise and fall of inxs. arnold's protrayal of micheal was beautifully done (and i love alex williams as kirk).

y/n.hutchence just posted to her private story!

y/n.hutchence just posted (private)

island of capri, italy.

tagged: lancestroll

liked by lancestroll, officialinxs, yourbestie and 130 others.

y/n.hutchence as my father once said, 'spill the wine, kiss that girl."

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jonfarriss first of all those aren't the real words, and your father didn't actually write spill the wine

-> y/n.hutchence jon why do you have to be right all the time huh?

-> jonfarriss you also know that song is about being on five different kinds of illegal drugs?

-> andrewfarriss he's being annoying because he cares. make smart choices, kiddo!

-> y/n.hutchence andrew have you ever known me not to make the smart choice? i'm living the sober girlie lifestyle here

yourbestie looking good sunshine!!!remember to send me pics, I need to pretend I don’t work a nine to five!

lancestroll wow I can’t decide what’s more beautiful: the scenery or my wife (jokes on you guys, it’s my wife)

-> y/n.hutchence 🥺🥺

kirkpengilly nice to see alcatraz hasn’t changed

-> y/n.hutchence of course you hated it...you hate the beach, the sand, the water, the sun

-> kirkpengilly i do not

-> laynebeachley sweetie she is right.

lancestroll just added to his story

lancestroll just posted!

island of capri, italy

tagged: y/n.hutchence

liked by y.n/hutchence, kirkpengilly, astonmartinf1 and 4,567 others

lancestroll honeymooning with the hutchence-strolls

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astonmartinf1 are lemons supposed to be that big?

-> y/n.hutchence arent they awesome?

estebanocon why do you have to add 'with the hutchence-strolls' to everything?? 'easter with the hutchence-strolls' 'cook chicken gyros with the hutchence strolls' its EXHAUSTING. watch you guys make a sex tape and call it 'making babies with the hutchence-strolls'

-> kirkpengilly they'd better not! y/n i will resurrect your father and have him talk some sense into you

-> y/n.hutchence kirky calm down!! there is NO sex tape!

user y/n is so stunning! europe looks good on her

yourbestie i held my tongue at the wedding but she has been so fucking happy since you guys got married and if you hurt her i will give you HELL to PAY

-> lancestroll don't worry, she's in good hands. she's my reason to get up every morning, my reason to smile. i have never felt more alive than i do when she is next to me

garrygarybeers huh i actually think capri has gotten nicer since 1993

mickschumacher why do your legs look so long in the first picture

-> lancestroll thanks mick, now that you've pointed it out i can never unsee it smh

y/n.hutchence just posted (private)

liked by yourbestie, yourmom, lancestroll and 278 others

y/n.hutchence take my breath away

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lancestroll it was an honor to experience the grotto with you, my wife

-> y/n.hutchence the view was pretty, but you were prettier, my husband

yourbestie consider my mind BLOWN. things like these just exist in nature???

timfarriss now why didn't we go here when we were recording the album again? this place would have inspired the crap out of us. your dad would have loved it.

fernandoalonso ah yes, the grotto. fond memories of skinny dipping there

-> lancestroll ew why did you think i needed to know that

-> y/n.hutchence i second that

(next part)

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @clemswrld @httpiastri @cartierre @lorarri @thatsdemko @sidcrosbyspuck

[bisonaari]

Käärijä Summer Camp report

I don't really come here anymore and I don't think I'll be back anytime soon, but I still wanted to make a post about this! It's probably gonna be pretty long hahaha

Last time I travelled with my husband, but this time with the amount of things to do and people to meet, he preferred staying at home and took care of our little balcony garden <3 Thanks to him we now have a full ass jungle on our balcony lol

My flights were really uneventful. My first flight to europe was so empty that I had a full row to myself so I could have some good sleep time (albeit a bit uncomfy lol, plane seats are so hard), but that was it.

When I got to Helsinki, I was welcomed by a bunch of GOOFS omg

@mitamicah @j-restlessgeek @teal-skull @katinkulta @clovermoonspell and her friend from Norway were all there, Micah and Susanna arriving a bit earlier than me. We all went to the place I was going to share with Missy, Susanna and @kaarijalist for the next two days.

Those people. Are the best. I fucking love them so much you have no idea. Everyone I'll tag in this post is an absolute cutie that I love but I'LL SAY IT EVERYTIME Skull gave me my birthday present in advance and I just BWAAAAAHH that was so sweet ;A; It was a Jukka autograph that they got for me back in Böle (now framed in my living room ehehehe) and a custom bracelet for me, inspired by my kääryle tattoo ;A; I loved it so ridiculously much it was ADORABLE

I learnt later that day that I wouldn't be able to meet @likearainbowinthedark until much later in my trip and it was a bit sad, I really missed them ;A; Friendship at first sight during february, and now I have to wait MORE to see their face again??? UNFAIR!! And also I had made little crochet frogs for them and their wife ohoho I couldn't wait to give them to their new owners <3

We also met with @formulalakana and @carpblu at a cafe during the afternoon! I was a bit burnt out by the whole you know… flying 12 hours thingie, so I ended up going back to our place but it was still lovely meeting with them they are amazing people!!

The day after that was the actual Summer Camp meet up day!! We all met at the mural together with many people already tagged here, but also @jaarijani @smimon @icbimakb and @tuherrus !! I can't believe that we just started to talk on tumblr and we were all there???? In person??? In front of that stupid Käärijä mural, exchanging bracelets and laughing together? That was just amazing

After a group picture, it was raining too much to have a proper picnic, so we went to the Tikkurila library to actually have some time to hangout and share snacks and gifts from our countries, and draw on each other's clothes and notebooks hahaha. A really, really lovely time with everyone, I'm so happy it went so well. On one side of the room was the Summer Camp flag that Skull had made, and to me it was perfect.

I also was sitting next to icbimakb and I had some time to nerd out to them because they're my fav artist of all time and they let me look at their sketchbook and it was an honor and I don't think that my eyes will ever recover from looking at so much beautiful art. @shirtlessradfahrer arrived at about that time as well.

A bit later we were joined by @follivora @wednesdayday @king-krisu and @khihi !! They didn't stay long but it was fun to finally meet after seeing them on tumblr for such a long time !! Some of us went to queuing, the rest of us stayed to clean up and we went to the venue a bit later <3

The Backas gig was one of the greatest moments of my life. Seriously. Everything went SO WELL??? Missy, Susanna and I headed out to the vip area for the pre show meal, and the food was amazing seriously. I wish I could have eaten about 3000 more of those fucking potatoes they were INCREDIBLE. We were looking at people running for barricade with tenderness hahaha, like "Look at our children <3 So much energy". Then suddenly, Missy spotted him. The Häärijä. Chatting to people next to the merch booth. She had to stop eating immediately because she had gifts to give him, and there might not be any other occasion to do so. I also handed her the fanzines because I'm a bit too shy and I don't have anything to say to Häärijä hahaha.

Part of my Backas report in a previous post ! I'll just focus on the untold parts here

At the venue it was time to meet @hyviihommi and @omppupiiras and also @blatantlyhidden and @because-its-eurovision !!! And wait also @tmrwds and @taidotonheiluja and some more people that I don't know the url of but I know are fellow tumblr users!!

I can't say how much I loved this gig. Hugo was really great, he looks so much like jere when he was younger hahaha. Käärijä was in SUCH a great mood, he was smiling so much and having the time of his life being on stage that day I don't think I'll ever recover. It felt so good being there and having an artist in front of us who was having a blast. I was dancing with Skull and Missy (my immediate neighbours hahaha), looking at Micah and Carpblu having a blast in front of us, enjoying the music that I had been listening for more than a year now with other people who also loved the same music. It was such an experience I will never forget this. We also got Paidaton riehuja!! I did remove my shirt hahaha. If I wasn't wearing a mesh shirt and a bra I would have gone full tits out hahaha, but it was too much of a hassle. But it was SO FUN being able to take part in this!!!

I don't usually listen to It's Crazy It's Party, but live?? It's seriously top 10 of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing everyone around me going fucking insane was incredible and I wish I could go back to those moments.

After the show, we stayed around a bit to chat more. We took another group picture, who is absolutely perfect and I will cherish forever.

Our little group went back to our appartment by taxi and we missed the occasion to say taksit on jo pihalla I'm very disappointed smh

We were already losing our minds because of how well the meetup and the gig went and everyone getting to see their blorbos and have pictures and chats with them, when Missy looked at her phone and SCREAMED because Häärijä had made a story with the fanzine holy shit. You don't know how fucking proud I was. I think I looked at it for 5 hours straight hahaha. He doesn't know how a video that probably took him 5 minutes to film and post made every artist's day it was INCREDIBLE.

(this is a terrible selfie but whatever HAHAHA)

On thursday, it was matching tattoos time!! I am now the proud owner of a pineapple tattoo, matching with Missy, Jay, Cass and Micah. I am ridiculously happy to have it. I feel like we really are a weird family and I found my people. I love it so, so much.

Got to meet with @pianist-chan that day as well!! We all had a lovely picnic together as a group in a park, then one song at a karaoke bar! Micah and I didn't vibe with the bar so after a huge peak of anxiety we all decided to leave hahaha. It was lovely hanging out with everyone anyway so whatever hahaha.

Friday was the Allas gig!! I met up with the gang in the morning to go eat breakfast together, and we ended up getting @hika-chachachan at the same time after we both discovered that we're not the only french fan here HAHAHA. Sorry for everyone with us, we spoke in french most of the meal time because it was fun not having to speak in english for a short time hahaha. Later that day, we took a picture making the JUL sign, the only correct pose for cringe french people uWu

Then I went back to my hostel for a nice nap, got some food with Kat and then finally joined the queue one hour before doors. (I got to see @izpira-se-zlato and @n3ongold3n there! And also I could hug Bec again 💚) We got a pretty nice spot so I'm not disappointed! Although this time Jukka didn't notice me but it's fine I can't win everytime hahaha. The gig was also a lot of fun, nothing much to say here! I didn't realize at that time that it was my last time of this trip seeing Elsa, and I only fully realized it after she left :' ( I would have hugged you a lot harder hahaha

Saturday, Benjamin Peltonen and Erika Vikman gig with the kcord gang!! Before that I went to eat lunch with Cass!! It was sad saying bye, but I really had a fun time with them ;A; <3

I was super late for the gig and arrived after doors because that one guy in my hostel didn't realize that THERE IS ONLY ONE TUMBLE DRYER FOR THE ENTIRE HOSTEL DON'T LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AFTER THEY'RE DONE. URGH. He told me he just went to take a shower because it was taking too long WATCH YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES MY DUDE I was so annoyed hahaha

Another session of meeting up with new people! This time I got to chat with @labda-kesho @beesgobzzzing and @dragon0blood and some more people I don't know the url of!! Anyway we had a great time! Benjamin looks like an angel, and Erika is…… you know how Erika is I don't need to tell yall HAHAHA. Everything would have been perfect without the extremely drunk girls around us spilling their drinks everywhere and literally falling on people. They had to be escorted out during Erika's part because they were way too annoying for everyone.

On sunday I FINALLY MET WITH EKO YIPPIE IT WAS TIME. I went to visit them in Espoo and ended up staying chatting with them for like 5 hours big oops hahaha we get along so well it felt like 10 minutes ;A; It was also my first time taking the bus by myself in Finland like a big girl!!! For the tram Elsa helped me so I could take it alone after she showed me how to, but the bus to another city?? That was a first one my mother is very proud

Monday, I went to Suomenlinna! When I lived in France 20 years ago, I lived right next to the ocean in a coastal city. Then we moved inland in Canada and you don't know how much I miss the ocean every single day. It's the #1 thing I miss about living in France, so I HAD to go to Suomenlinna. First of all, being on a boat again was so great, I really had missed that. It reminded me of the ferries I used to go on to travelfrom my dad's place to my grandma's place. Great times hahaha. Then I just wandered around for three hours, minding my own business and avoiding people hahaha. I sat next to the sea listening to the waves for hours. And it was the BEST. I think it cured me of 28 mental illnesses I didn't know I had.

On tuesday, I met with Eko once again but in Helsinki this time! We went to get tea together and chatted for another couple of hours HAHAHA. Teemaa in Helsinki is a lovely tea shop and you should definitely go!! I also went to the Skywheel on my way back I just HAD to yknow, Käärijä tourism

After I got back to the hostel, it was packing time to leave Helsinki for other horizons.

PART 2: OUTSIDE OF THE CIRCLE

My next stop was Oulu! So I headed out to the train station on wednesday morning to go on a 6 hours journey hahaha. At least it was a direct train, and the guy next to me was only here from Tampere to Seinäjoki, so I still had quite a lot of space for myself.

Once in Oulu, I was staying with @theplantbish and her partner. I cannot say how much I love her. There are not enough words to express this. The other people I immediately fell in love with I had already met them prior, so no surprises here! (Yall know who you are hahaha) But it was our first time meeting and it was like we already knew each other from 25 years ago. We went from total strangers to great friends in about 5 seconds, and then it took two days to have heartfelt late night conversations crying in each other's arms lol. Anyway this whole paragraph is a love letter to Plant you are amazing and I love you. I can't believe that in two weeks we got to talking on a daily basis hahaha.

Anyway, we also met with @gaysontoast because we went to pick them at the airport and WOW what a tornado of bubbliness <3 They were absolutely wonderful to have as a roommate!! (and they sleep like the dead hahaha)

In the afternoon it was my first time meeting with @submariini and @ravensofskyhold as well! I'm scared that I will run out of available tag spaces like you can only tag 50 people per post lemme count a sec ok we're at 33 still good (but absolutely ridiculous that I got to meet 33 people from tumblr in the same week??? what happened to not meeting strangers from the internet lol) but anyway all lovely people!!

The day after, it was finally time for Suomipop!! In the morning we went to pick @punanenmarli from the train station! Plant and her got back to Plant's place walking hand in hand and it was the fucking cutest shit I had ever seen ;A;

We then met at suomipop for Bess! HOLY SHIT IS THAT WOMAN GORGEOUS??? HOW DARE SHE??? WHEN SHE EMPTIED THE WATER BOTTLE ON HER HEAD I JUST

anyway I was completely normal about this show. Hm. So normal. Even during the french part in Lähtee käsistä. So. Normal.

The others wanted to go see Kuumaa during the evening and I would have loved to as well, but it was raining, I was drenched and cold and miserable and instead just headed back to Plant's place where I was soooo normal about Bess.

On friday, it was my birthday, yippie!!! The clowns from kcord (NOT PEJORATIVE IT'S THEIR NAME OK) got me a card that they all signed and I loved it so much a a a a a a ;A;

We wanted front row for the Käärijä gig later in the evening, so we were there at doors and immediately went front row, which meant that we also got to listen to Viivi and Yö ! Tbh, I really liked Yö, I understand why they're a legendary band hahaha.

However, between the two shows, Plant came back to our group and told me that Jukka. Sorsa. Was. Hanging out. In the VIP section. Which we didn't have access to lol. So we ended up just watching him from afar, when I noticed that he and his friends were leaving the VIP section and crossing the festival area. I told it to Plant who asked me if I wanted to go see him but I was like naaaah I'm shy. So she asked if I wanted her to come with me and I immediately said yes HAHAHA. We went over his little group and when we arrived at about 10 feet from him we waved, and he immediately came to us to have a chat WHAT A MAN I LOVE HIM. I was so fucking awkward (leading to this great interaction… me: "I just wanted to say hi!" Jukka: "well… hi" AAAAAAA IT WAS SO AWKWARD LOL). He noticed the earrings I made out of the guitar plecs he gave me and reached for them sir excuse me do you want me dead hahaha. I didn't say much after that but we still got a picture together that Plant took for me ILYSM

I met with Kat, Lou and their friend just before the Käärijä show and it was amazing as usual. This man knows how to perform hahaha. WE ALSO HAD THIS WEIRD MID-SPEECH SHIT TALK??? JERE WH A T???

After Käärijä, we headed up towards the other stage to Kaija Koo. I was on my phone for I don't remember what, and Plant poked me to tell me "are you on your phone? how often in your life are you gonna see Kaija Koo live??" and she was so fucking right omg. I put my phone back in my pocket and it was absolutely great, got to hold hands with Plant while dancing, seriously amazing. One of my best birthdays ever if not THE best.

We had a meal at Hesburger after everything hahaha (I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS HESBURGER), and in the not quite night of Oulu, to me everything felt so, so right.

Saturday, I got to see Kat and Lou again for souvenir shopping! I GOT THE FUCKING BEST MAGNET IT SAYS PASKA MAGNEETTI AND I'M FUCKING CRYING NO ONE AT HOME WILL GET THE REFERENCE BUT I DO AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS LOL

I said bye to Kat after that but it's so ridiculous we live in the same country LOL I should visit Toronto at some point

At Suomipop, we got to see first Portion Boys and they were so full of energy what a show!!! Nothing can stop them, not the heat, not the wheelchair, NOTHING.

Smitten, Omega and I got to dip our feet in the water at the suomipop beach and it was so needed the sun was HOT that day. The fact that we weren't allowed more than our feet in the water was a tragedy though smh

After that, it was time to my beloved ARTTU WISKARI, I got into his stuff just before flying for Finland so I was delighted he was going to be at Suomipop!! Ed came with me to see him what a gentleman lol (seriously tho I really, really appreciate it!!)

Last suomipop show for me was Elastinen! While watching him I could only think that this was the most shark looking man I had ever seen HAHAHA.

After Elastinen, the group went to see Apulanta, while I went back to Plant's appartment to pack my suitcase, sadly.

On sunday, it was time to take the train again. Plant took me to the train station and we ended up crying so much hahaha I was a mess in the train. But if it hurt so much, it's because it was equally fun, and I can't wait to see her again.

I was headed to Tampere, then Turku! Skull escorted me to my Airbnb they're so lovely ;A; We talked together for about 6 hours lol before I had to leave to do some laundry. While my clothes were in the washing machine, we explored the k-market to find some Pirkka merch but it was all gone, so I just got a lovely @windows95man shirt hahaha. COME BACK TO TUMBLR TEEMU YOU BELONG WITH US

The day after I met with Skull again to buy some Posankka merch! Posankka…… my beloved…… the most beautiful pigduck of Finland <3 I got a reflector, in true finnish fashion hahaha. We then headed up to Luostarinmäki, an open air museum on finnish craftsmanship from the past. It was ridiculously interesting and we spent 3 hours where we only got to half of the museum LOL, we're nerds. Too bad…… I'll have to come back to Turku……… so sad

In the evening we watched TRAFIK and some more Powerwolf music videos, what a great evening holy shit

Interestingly enough, on tuesday I met up with… Skull again lol, they joined me in the park in the afternoon, we stayed here for 2 hours until we left to go to a student bar to get a lovely hot chocolate <3 It was absolutely delicious!

Wednesday, last day in Finland. I met up with, you have guessed, Skull again lmao. We headed to Vantaa (because I had a plane to take r i p).

Skull and I then headed to Arttu Wiskari's Allas gig. We were quite lucky as the rain had just stopped (btw Kallo I still have the rain poncho I stole from you lol it's in Canada now sorry).

We had so, so much fun. The gig was just really fun and light hearted, everyone knew the lyrics, and it was the best ending for an amazing trip. Nothing like dancing with your friend on good music!!

I hugged Skull and cried in the train. Familiar scene, lol. Me sobbing in trains in Finland. I love you so much Kallo.

There are no words left in my heart to express how loved I felt during these 17 days. I will be back. I promise. I can't bear to not go back when I left pieces of my soul with dear friends. Take care of them please, I'll be back to put some more of my soul in them. I love you. So very much. You made my life really bright for a short time, and knowing how good it can be to be alive I want to feel this again.

To all of you, who are my soulmates, my siblings, my loved ones, my beloved: thank you.

[harrysblues]

Clean Baby

The one in which Harry comes back from work, and the only thing he wants to do is have a shower with his newborn.

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After spending so much time working on his upcoming album Harry's House, the only thing Harry wants to do is get home to cuddle with his wife and his newborn. Y/N had given birth three months ago to a precious baby girl, Kennedy Gem, that Harry completely adores. He still doesn't believe how much he loves the little thing.

All he had wished to do since his sunshine had been born was to stay home with his family. Unfortunately, Kenny came three weeks early, and all Harry could do was rush through the last couple of things he had yet to arrange for his album release next month.

Even though he had been touring in America, Y/N's pregnancy had been kept a secret to the public. This means that not many people know what Harry has waiting for him at home, and how much he hates being away from home lately. The couple knows that they are going to need to start telling people soon, due to Harry going on tour to the UK and Europe during the summer, and Y/N and Kenny are going with him. However, they want to enjoy the most out of her without being bothered about how things are going, or people wanting to get their hands on pictures of their baby.

Harry got out of a meeting with Jeff and rushed home to be with both of his girls that he absolutely adores with his whole entire heart. They are literally the center of his universe, and the purpose that pushes him to be the best version of him everyday.

"Oh my baby, weren't you so hungry?" He heard Y/N coo right after he enters through the door. "You're the cutest thing I've seen in my entire life".

Harry is fast to lock the door and get to his family in the living room, and when he sees both of his girls on the sofa, wrapped in blankets because it is still chilly out, and Y/N breastfeeding Kenny while looking at her lovingly, he knows he made it. He has been dreaming about this his whole life.

"Hello my angels" He says while quickly sitting down in the sofa right by their side. "How has your day been? I hope fantastic. I've missed you both so so much".

He gives Y/N a passionate kiss, and they separate when they hear their baby make the cutest noise ever. "Yeah, sunshine. Do you also want a kiss?" Harry coos, and immediately kisses his baby's forehead. He is mesmerised with the way she's bonding with her mum right now.

"She's almost done, but she needs a bath. Your mum called and I got distracted" Y/N informs Harry. "She invited us to go to her house this weekend for a family get together. Gemma is also going".

"I'll call her tomorrow to let her know we are going" Harry answers. "But can I please be in charge of bath time tonight? I've missed my little ray of sunshine so much today, you have no idea".

"Oh, is that so? What about your wife?" Y/N says in a playful manner. "Did you forget about your wife when your daughter was born, or what?"

"Of course not, my love. We are soulmates, and I'm yours forever and ever" He says while burying his face on her neck. "You're the muse of all my songs, and the best thing to ever happen in my entire life".

Y/N looks at him, sees the way he is literally drooling over his daughter, and decides to agree to Harry being in charge of bath time. "Okay, I'll let you. However, you have to promise me that this won't be a recurring thing. Kenny is already so attached to you, if she starts getting used to showering with you she won't have it any other way ever again".

"Perfect, perfect, perfect" Harry celebrates. "C'mon Kenny baby, let's go get ourselves clean. Do you want to be a clean baby? Yes?" Harry takes his daughter from her mum's arms and burps her before cradling her in his arms and standing up to get to the bathroom.

"I'll be back in a bit, my love" He tells his wife. "Rest for a bit, put on your favourite show, but please don't worry about anything. You have been working so hard these last couple of months without me here, it's your turn to relax".

Y/N knows that Harry is doing the best he can to balance everything that's going on in his life right now. Nonetheless, her heart melts a little at how sweet he is being about everything. He is all she's ever asked for.

The couple shares a sweet kiss, and Y/N watches Harry and her daughter leave the room to go have a bath, so she doesn't hesitate to take up Harry's offer, and put on her favourite show.

Harry walks with Kenny in his arms to the bathroom, where he starts the shower, so that the water warms up to the perfect temperature for his baby girl, and he prepares the towels for when they get out. Then, he carefully undresses Kenny, as well as himself down to his boxers, and they both get in the shower.

Harry has his back to the shower stream, careful so it doesn't bother his little angel, while he holds her close to his chest. He did this for her first bath, because he was very scared of anything happening to her while in the water and he knew she was the safest in her daddy's arms. Ever since then, he does this as much as his wife lets him. He bonds with Kenny the best during bath times like this one, and he is determined to do this as long as his daughter lets him.

Once they are both completely wet, Harry takes a soft cloth, and with a little drop of baby soap, he starts washing his baby. She is sleepy in her father's chest, seeing as she loves listening to his heartbeat whenever she lays there. So when she notices her sleep being disrupted, she starts whimpering.

"Oh no, sunshine. Don't cry" He says softly to her. "It's just daddy cleaning you up, isn't that right? Didn't you want to be a clean baby?" Kenny stops the moment she hears her fathers voice, and looks up to him with the cutest smile ever.

"Hello, Kenny baby" He coos down at her. "It's bath time with daddy! We love bath time with daddy!" Harry exclaims while bouncing her a little and tickling her stomach. She lets out the most beautiful giggle Harry has ever heard, and he is completely sure he'll never get tired of it.

"How has your day been? Did you have fun with mummy?" He asks her softly while cleaning her body and shampooing the little curls she has started growing. "I'm very jealous that you get to spend so much time with her, especially cuddling. I love cuddles, you know that?" Kenny sees her father talking, and decides to start mumbling and making noises, as if she was answering all of his questions. Harry doesn't doubt it for a second, and he immediately starts talking to her as if she knew what he was saying.

"You love mummy's milk? Is that what you are saying?" The smile could be heard in his voice, as he was looking down at his precious daughter. Kenny squeals and slaps her little hands softly on her daddy's chest, making him chuckle. "We are so grateful for what she is doing for us, isn't that right? She is the most wonderful woman ever, and you are so lucky that you get to learn form her. You are going to be just like her".

The conversation carries on, Harry not once getting bored with the cute interaction, and he finishes giving her a bath and also, washing his body and hair. He would lie and tell Y/N that washing himself with only one arm wasn't difficult, but he would do it every day for his baby girl. It was very difficult for him to explain the bond he had with his daughter during these showers. The idea of her being completely dependent on him was something he thought about every single day. And he obviously loved every single minute of it.

Once both of them are clean, they get out of the shower and Harry carefully wraps Kenny in a very fluffy baby towel with a hood and bear ears on top. It was a gift from Mitch and Sarah for when she was born, and it is the cutest thing ever. Harry can't help but take pictures of her and send them to the love band's group chat every single time she uses it.

He creadles her in his arms again and wraps another towel around his waist. He obviously struggles, and he notices Kenny is watching him in the mirror when she lets out a very loud laugh, seeing her daddy drop his towel many times until he manages to wrap it in place.

"Oh my, Kenny baby! Are you laughing at y'daddy?" He jokingly reprimands her. "Does daddy make you laugh? Yeah?" He only gets more belly laughs from her, and he smiles so big, both of his dimples very prominent on his face, that he swears his cheeks are going to fall off. He is even trying to make her laugh harder, making weird faces at her while they both look at each other through the mirror.

When Kenny starts shivering a little, Harry knows it's time to get her dressed in a very cute pijama and put her to sleep. She was about to fall asleep on his chest after all, so he carries her to her bedroom and dresses her in his favourite pijamas of hers, decorated with little cherries, right after putting lotion on her with a very long massage. He loved pampering his girls, and he wasn't embarrassed to show it.

When she has her hair brushed, and she is ready for bed, with her pacifier on her mouth, Harry brings her to his bedroom so he can get ready.

"I know you're sleepy, sunshine. Let me get dressed and we'll go say goodnight to mummy, alright?" He tells her, while laying her in the middle of his king sized bed. He surrounds her with pillows so she won't roll and fall, although she is too tired to even move.

Harry goes inside his wardrobe to get into his pijamas really quick, and he looks at her playing with her hands at the top of her head while he is in his bathroom, doing his skincare and styling his hair.

"Let's go, angel" He kisses Kenny on the forehead, while picking her up and laying her against his chest. "We have to wish mummy a very good night, isn't that right?" Kenny softly coos, and Harry melts at the sound of her little voice. He can't wait for when she's able to tell him how she feels, or what she thinks.

When they get to the living room, Y/N is asleep on the couch. Harry quickly notices, and without wanting to wake her up, he gets down on his knees right next to her to give her a kiss on the forehead. "C'mon Kenny, give mummy a kissy so we can go to sleep" He whispers.

Right when he is about to get up from the floor to put Kenny to sleep, Y/N stirs awake. "Harry, cuddles please" His wife's demand earns a chuckle from Harry, but he doesn't think twice. He hands Kenny to Y/N, and he gets on the couch besides her to cuddle with the love of his life and his baby.

With the TV playing softly, the warmth of the blankets the three of them are wrapped up in, the feeling of his wife breathing, and the peaceful noises coming from his baby, Harry is in heaven. This is the best life he could have ever wished for, and he could never be happier.

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First post! Please let me know if you like it and want more! Alsooo, don't forget to reblog :)

[geekgirlspoetryproject]

How my love for Warrior Nun ended up getting me a published novel

So like many of us, i am a huge fan of Warrior Nun. Like a somewhat smaller number of us, I am a big Doctor Superion shipper. Can't be helped. Mature ladies getting it together is my jam. I have written fic about them and of course a lot of Avatrice and Lilshotgun.

Anyway, I saw this picture of Thekla Reuten and

I thought "oooo, detective!"

Not long after, I encountered this photo of Sylvia Defanti:

And I thought, "ooo, detective wife! Wait no! DETECTIVE EX-WIFE!"

And then I thought, what if ART Detectives?? Picture them chasing an art thief around Europe while bickering and lowkey sniping at each other and falling back in love despite themselves and their whole opposites-attract yin/yang thing?

Plus, you know, Europe:

The more I thought about the idea, though, the more I realized I needed to change the characters too much for it to work as a fic. So because I was writing a lot of screenplays at the time, I wrote it as a screenplay. Let me tell you about these women...

Fleur van Beekhof

So yeah, you can see the shades of Jillian, obviously: cool, pragmatic, strategic and unflappable on the outside. Inside, a total disaster: heartbroken, career stagnating, struggling with a gambling addiction and still not over her ex-wife,

Renata Cellini

Renata quit the bureau after their divorce and went to manage a friend's art gallery in Bologna. She's passionate, sometimes harsh, wears everything out on her sleeve and is 100% in it for the drama, leaping into danger and looking annoyingly hot while doing so. She's Fleur's sole choice for all 3 options of "f*ck marry kill."

The only thing that could bring her back to the bureau is the "Fabulous Gustave," the one thief who got away from them, whose escape precipitated Fleur's gambling problem and the unraveling of their marriage.

What's more, he stole a painting by her favorite painter, the one she did her Master's thesis on: "Susanna and the Elders," by Artemisia Gentileschi.

(Artemisia btw was a badass, a baroque master not fully recognized in her day. She painted women like nobody else... with fury and agency. "Yo check out the head of the Assyrian general who was creeping on me, I just saved my people, you're welcome."

Anyway, ahem.)

So I had this movie written. The thing about movies, is they take forever to get made, if they do at all. And I adore these women and this story too much, so I adapted it into a novel, and on a hail-mary pass, sent it to one of the bigger sapphic publishers I knew of.

THEY SAID YES.

Look! In all its pre-orderable glory!

The women of Warrior Nun have been and continue to be an inexhaustible fountain of inspiration.

And also, if you feel like it, please support my novel.

[fantasticalleigh]

season 3 part one thoughts:

ok ok i did finish B S3 pt. I and it's GOOD and i was really happy with it but now that my pulse has gone back to normal i'm realizing i have a lot of nitpicks/concerns with the storytelling but ngl the carriage scene was fucking BONKERS and my mind will be in the gutter for the rest of the weekend

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!! bc i have a ton of thoughts on season 3 so far and have to get them out:

THOUGHTS:::::

-i could not stop smiling. my face hurts still.

-i don't get people whining about colin and the threesome. when the brothel threesome scene was leaked people were losing their goddamn minds about colin not being a virgin on reddit. y'all. he spent a LONG time traveling solo around europe--did you really expect him not to experiment the entire time? the fixation on this was kinda weird i gotta say. also i really liked that in the second brothel instance it served as growth to show colin was realizing it wasn't those women he wanted to have sex with, but penelope.

it seems every bridgerton lad needs a whoring about subplot in their respective season and colin was obviously going to get one if his elder brothers did, so i wasn't surprised at all. i thought the scenes were hot, personally. overconfident and super flirty col galavanting everywhere suddenly being reduced to a pining, thirsty af insecure boy was so gratifying to watch and those scenes had a hand in showing us that.

-i hate portia's costumes this season. hate. hate. hate. she looks like she was ripped right out of DIsney's Descendants set from the costume rejects pile. woof. she was stunning in s1 but s2 were her best looks and now she looks awful. why???

-i think the mondriches are ok and i like them but their story did not need expanding here. i'm happy for them but that storyline was boring and time taken away from more important characters. i know this sounds harsh but this season was already packed with storylines. across these four episodes there was a severe lack of Lady Danbury. one of my favorite aspects of Romancing Mr. Bridgerton was her friendship/mentorship with Penelope. that instantly made her one of my favorite characters. why not keep that in the show??? i'm so disappointed but with part 2 yet unreleased maybe it will still come?

-speaking of lady danbury, something about the way her brother is presented and how she treats him makes me worry for Violet, that he might disappoint her later. idk it's just a vibe i get.

-Luke's acting is fucking incredible. all the microexpressions and the lingering stares and subtle movements. nicola is a great actor in her own right but fucking hell, every time Luke teared up on screen I was mirroring him.

the carriage scene, when he's on his knees in front of Pen and she cups the side of his head and his eyes do THAT thing and the look he gives her? i rewatched that two second bit on repeat for a minute. amazing. (that's exactly the kind of devotion i picture when I wrote dark Dramione in TEOAL towards the end)

-we get it, benedict is a slut. he fucks. i'm over it. i'm not interested in who he's fucking. i know the consensus is Lady Tilley will somehow tie in to Sophie but i just do not care about Benedict rn. he is pulling focus.

-hyacinth's actress is so stunning! all the actors are obvs but every time i look at her i see Brooke Shields. anyone else?

-i had higher hopes for Lord Debling. genuinely kind of disappointed. he's boring and feels fickle. also the abruptness of him going 'i need a wife to tend to my estate so i can go travel for 3 years so be warned that i can't love you' to 'you have feelings for another man? i'm done-zo.' like what. you just said you can't love her and will never be at home with her but it's a fucking problem that she likes someone else? even though she's is clearly willing to get over it by marrying you??? bro. bro.

-hate what they did with Colin's hair for most of his scenes. why flatten it all out and take out the adorable curls he had in the first episode????????????????? episode one hairstyle was god-tier. everything after that makes him look like he's wearing a bad and stiff wig. still hot tho. also on the hair note: please stop giving eloise bangs. please.

-people on reddit were near to rioting when they learned Kanthony was only in the first ep due to leaks. i was bummed but ultimately don't mind it. did we deserve to see more of them thanks to how badly s2 was handled?? absolutely. but if it's only sex scenes bc they're now trying for babies then i'm good for now. also glad that edwina and mary don't come back bc ngl they pissed me tf off in s2 thanks to how badly they were written. plus like i said, this season has FAR too many subplots to keep them in. the writers really should have trimmed things down. violet meeting Lady D's brother was also not necessary imo.

-i went from loathing cressida to actively sympathizing and rooting for her to snatch up debling in the latter half. well done, writers.

-all the featherington scenes were gold. pru and phillipa are incredible when in scenes together and i'm so glad we got more of that. albion finch is a treasure, too. i really think they should have spent more time on penelope and her mother's relationship bc it's a big part of the book with how portia assigned pen to be her caretaker for when she got old and that being pen's burden/reason to want to bug out and marry rather than stay with her abusive mother, not her sisters' heirs taking charge of the house. they leaned too much into the comedy with the featheringtons and forgot to remind us why penelope is so miserable at home too--the problem stems from her mother, too, not only her sisters. we got two tiny clips of that and that was it. not enough to really establish that. the featheringtons are funny yes but they are not good people (sans Pen). Portia is neglectful and rude and dismissive toward Pen and there is not enough of that so far.

-i haven't read fran's book yet so had no idea what to expect and thought i'd be bored. she is adorable and i'm rooting for her. i like john better than the other guy. but i'm not that invested in her plot. i have no true emotional attachment to her. she needed her own season or to be pushed back to s4.

-still don't like eloise but i'm warming to her. a third season straight of her being condescending to almost everyone outside of her family/friends does nothing to endear her to me. she still blames Whistledown for "ruining" her when she ruined herself by ignoring everyone's warnings and running around town doing socially unacceptable things. she still has a right to be upset with Whistledown/Pen but she needs to take accountability for her own shit. but her understanding and patience with cressida was really surprising and i liked that a lot so far. i can see why people are shipping them now!

-HOW HAVE PENELOPE AND COLIN NOT EVEN DANCED ONCE YET WHAT THE FUCK jk i'm sure we'll obvs get that in part 2 but i'm so accustomed to them having a dance in one of the first few episodes that this truly threw me.

-colin's wet dream. loved it. ngl i was fully expecting a masturbation scene in his bed and not only bc i wrote one into my fic lmao

-i fucking called it from the start that the first kiss would be in the featherington garden based off that screengrab. everything about it screamed romeo+juliet. that was my favorite scene so far it was so beautifully shot and the way he goes for the lightest kiss at first and then hesitates and then GOES BACK FOR MORE???? when he realizes he's super into it???? i collapsed. i fucking squee'd like it was 2003.

-i've been complaining on reddit that the makeup in the promos was fucking awful and way too heavy. it comes across much lighter in the final product/show and i'm so relieved because i was truly worried about that. nicola is a stunning stunning woman and i can't help but admire her every time she is on screen and the awful makeup they put on her for those promos were overtaking her face.

-two major changes i truly appreciate (bc i'm normally very critical about shondaland's writing)

1: the journal scene. i loved that colin had pen hide in his study. i really wanted them to get caught there. i love that the journal fight wasn't as huge as it was in the book because the book made it go on for too long and colin was unreasonably mad about it. i'm so glad it was a minor thing here and that they still showed that colin was really pleased when pen praised his writing and he said he'd consider letting her read more and left it at that.

2: the carriage proposal. my biggest issue with the book bc colin was borderline abusive when he pulled her out of the carriage and made her fall. hated that so i'm glad here he was pleased and still mischievous and held out his hand for her and proposed and wasn't rude and impatient like he was in the book. also the carriage scene was hot as hell and i did not fucking expect colin to fucking finger her right then and there with the goddamned WINDOWS OPEN. tbh i was expecting boob action like in the book but that was a surprising change.

-pacing. too many storylines makes for a too-quickly paced episode. i feel like we were catapulted into everything and my head was spinning. this is a show that, because it insists on such a large fucking cast, would immensely benefit from a 12 or even 20 episode run rather than eight. but we know netflix is a cheap bitch so that will never happen and shows this dense suffer for it.

-music. i do not care about covers. i just don't. it makes no difference to me who is added to the soundtrack or the easter egg hunt of finding which song was used in which scene. the original scores made for the show are beautiful on their own and don't distract like the covers do and that's all i'll say.

-already seeing reviews online from people complaining polin have no chemistry??? idk what show they're watching but it ain't this one. this has been a slow slow buildup and if you can't feel their chemistry then idk what to tell you bc it is there. (and this is gonna be a hot take and unpopular opinion but personally out of all the main couples so far i found daphne and simon's chemistry to feel really forced and kind of cringey so take my opinion as you will but pen and colin have LEAGUES more chemistry as friends to lovers here)

BUT: one could also blame this on the awful pacing of these first four episodes so far. it really would have been nice to have more filler time of col and pen doing the flirting lessons since that was cut too short too soon.

phew--.

i will most definitely have more to say later on but these are my immediate thoughts and i had to get them all down . if you got this far down then bless you and thanks for listening and lmk your thoughts! i'm dying to talk about this.

[yourmomxx]

the birthmark on his cheek

JJ Maybank x male!reader

Summary: One afternoon, you have an interesting encounter while sitting in detention.

Warnings: not really anything, reader is kinda shy I guess?

Word Count: 2.3k

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

Anyone who would hear you say the following words out loud, would probably automatically stamp you as an absolute weirdo. But it was true: you liked detention.

Well now, not exactly detention detention. That’s something you never really had to do. But you liked seating yourself into the half-empty classrooms after school ended, placing your laptop on the table and editing the pictures you took throughout the day, until you felt they were useable for the yearbook.

Doing this in school other than at home was somehow more comfortable to you, and it gave you the feeling of being amongst people, without having to actually actively talk to them.

Today was one of those days again. You entered the classroom and took your usual seat in the second to last row, and slowly began unpacking your stuff.

On the teacher’s desk, right in front of the chalkboard, sat Mr Ramos - English teacher and unwilling supervisor of 5pm detention.

He didn’t even look up when you came into the room, most teachers were used to your - quite unneeded - presence by now.

In your opinion Mr Ramos was a nice guy, but sometimes also seemed like the type of person to fantasize about killing his wife and starting a new life somewhere in the south of Europe.

Which was a very specific analysis.

When the clock showed 5pm sharp, Mr Ramos got up and took his attendance list and a pen with a sigh.

At this point, you were already extremely focused on the picture that was shown on your laptop, where you had caught Mitchell Gates mid-air, tossing a ball into the basket, scoring the last-minute winning point for your Highschool’s basketball team.

You vaguely noticed someone coming into the room and taking the seat directly next to you, though you couldn’t really be bothered to look up and check who it was.

You noticed that the classroom was pretty empty for a Wednesday, except for you, Harvey Davenport, and a girl with brown, curly hair and reading glasses. You didn’t know her name. She was one of those people everyone saw everywhere but no one ever really knew.

Maria. Or Martha. Something along those lines.

“Cooke, Amara,” Mr Ramos started listing up the attendee’s names. The girl with the glasses raised her hand.

Oh.

A heavy sigh then came from the teacher, as his eyes fell on the next name written on the list. He suddenly looked very worn out. “Maybank, JJ,” he read.

The person in next to you raised their hand. You felt your heart beating in your throat.

“Present, Sir,” JJ said, smiling cheerfully. As if he wasn’t sitting in detention right now.

Ramos ticked off his name and JJ lowered his arm again.

You managed to spare a side-glance at him sitting on your left. He was almost directly next to the window. His hair was caught under a cap which he was wearing — and he was fidgeting with a pen in his hand.

He was wearing a white tank top that showed off his flexing arm muscles every time he moved and seemed to slightly move his head to a music beat that was playing in his mind.

Quickly, you looked back at your computer screen again so he could not catch you staring at him, and slowly tapped the keyboard to get some work done.

Every once in a while you would let your eyes gaze over to JJ next to you, and every time you were just as fast to focus back on your pictures again.

But this time, when you angled your neck to steal another glance at him, you could feel your heart beat faster once more and the blood rushing into your ears.

Outside of the window that JJ was sitting next to, the sun was slowly setting above the Outer Banks, and the vanishing light threw an orange shade into the classroom.

JJ was sitting with his head laid back and closed eyes. His relaxed face as well as his hair, that had finally been released from under his hat, were angled just right for the light to catch them, and illuminated in smooth gold.

His arms were crossed in front of his torso and he had slumped further into his seat than before. Through the motion, somehow, his shirt must have risen up and you caught yourself staring at the exposed skin of his hipbone.

Carefully, you reached next to you on the table where your camera was placed, and picked up the expensive object to lift it to your eye.

You steadied and lowered your breathing, as if every move too loud or too fast, could wake the boy in front of your lens up and destroy this angelic moment of his relaxation and beauty.

You cautiously focused the lens and when you breathed out the breath of concentration you had been holding, you pressed on the shutter button.

The sound of the picture being taken seemed like thunder in your ears, but when you hurriedly put the camera down and sorted yourself to pretend nothing ever happened, you realized that JJ hadn’t moved a muscle.

You let out relieved sigh and connected the camera to your laptop with an USB cable.

When the picture finally loaded and showed up on your screen, your cheeks heated up and a small smile was forming on your lips.

Just like the model, the picture looked absolutely beautiful, and would look even better when you were finished with editing it.

Taking a closer look, you spotted a little brown dot on JJ’s jawline, just a bit under his ear. You frowned and looked at his real sleeping form, not even caring about being detected right now, and squinted to try and get a better look.

And indeed, on his jawline - an incredibly sharp jawline that was, by the way - he had a small birthmark, just a bit under his ear.

Satisfied, you turned back to your laptop again, and started working on JJ’s picture, your hands still shaking a bit from anxiety.

—

“Hey.”

You could hear a tapping noise. Or scratching. Or both.

“Hey.”

Again.

Slowly, you gazed over the display of your laptop into the mischievously glistening, blue eyes of JJ Maybank.

Sweet Lord.

You looked to the now empty seat at your left, then at JJ again, who was turned around, each leg on one side of the chair and his arms crossed on the backrest.

“Hey,” you managed to get out, closing the laptop just a little bit as to not seem impolite. And to get a better look at him.

“You’re the photographer guy, right?” He asked, still smirking and twirling the toothpick in his mouth around with his tongue while he spoke.

“I, uhm … yeah,” you answered. JJ hummed and focused his attention to the camera lying on the desk where you had placed it next to your computer after you had taken his picture.

Your eyes were flickering across the room, but no one seemed to mind or care what was happening between you and the blonde boy.

JJ reached for the black camera, and you hastily grabbed it out of his hands.

“Sorry but that’s like … really expensive,” you muttered when you carefully put the camera back to where it was before.

JJ raised his hands apologetically. “My bad.”

“So, you like taking pictures?” He was smirking again, just like before, and turning the damned toothpick again, just like before. And your heart was beating and skipping and doing god knows what things that it shouldn’t do, just like before.

“W-what?”

“You like taking pictures?” He leaned closer, maintaining eye contact, and your breath hitched in your throat. “Of me?”

You felt like dying. Right here and there. JJ sat back again, grin even wider than before and blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

“It’s just for, uhm … it’s just for yearbook,” you tried to explain. Jesus, hopefully he didn’t think you were some kind of stalking weirdo.

“I’m not some stalking weirdo who follows girls home and likes to take pictures of them naked or something,” you quickly added, but JJ just waved his hand.

“Calm down, man, didn’t even think of it like that. You’re not really a girl’s guy, are you?”

Whatdidhesay?

You sat there petrified, staring at him with wide eyes, dumbfounded, and JJ couldn’t help but laugh at that.

God, you were adorable.

God, was the sound of his laugh beautiful.

“Alright alright,” JJ finally said, still slightly out of breath from his laughter. He repositioned himself in his chair.

Your eyes flickered to the veins on his hand and the leather bracelets in his wrist. This boy was so attractive, it was eating you from the inside out.

“Can I see them?” JJ asked, startling you another time. You raised your eyebrows.

“You wanna see … my pictures?”

JJ shrugged. “If you think it’s worth photographing me then I would like to see the end result.” He started smirking again. “Unless there is footage on that computer you don’t want me to see?”

You felt your ears heat up and quickly shook your head, avoiding eye contact with him. You tried turning the display in his direction, but stopped mid movement.

“I, uhm …” you cleared your throat, “Maybe you should come over to my side. You’ll … see better then.”

Much to your surprise, JJ took his chair and sat down next to you without any comment.

You felt your entire body heat up at the realization of how close he was, and unsuccessfully attempted to calm your shaky hands when you operated the keyboard to show him the pictures.

Most were already well colored and edited, apart from a few exceptions which you still weren’t sure of if you wanted them printed anyways.

When you reached the picture of JJ half asleep in the chair with the light of the setting sun on his skin, you held your breath and gulped, unsure of how he would react.

Next to you, JJ remained silent for a bit. To you, it felt like three times of eternity. It was long enough to let an unsettling feeling sink in your stomach.

Finally, he spoke up. “This is …,” he breathed out, “wow. I mean -” He put his finger on the screen but pulled it away just as quickly when he realized that you probably didn’t like it when he did that.

Truth is, you hadn’t even properly realized it, and it would have been alright anyways because it was JJ Maybank after all.

“I mean, the camera quality, the lighting. I look so -” He paused. “I look so beautiful.” He whispered.

JJ looked at you with a soft expression. “I think this is the best photo someone has ever taken of me,” he admitted.

You felt your heart swell at the praise and your lips curled up in a smile. “Thank you,” you said.

“If you want to, I could print it out for you,” you offered. “Then you can, I don’t know, put it up or something.” You trailed off and shrugged. Suddenly your fingers were incredibly interesting.

You missed JJ’s fond smile as he first looked at the picture, then back to you again. “Yes, that’d be great. Thank you.”

“Really?” You almost shrieked. “I mean …” you cleared your throat. “Sure, sure. I’ll just…”

Mumbling to yourself, you pulled out a pen and wrote the words ‘JJ picture’ on the back of your hand. The blond boy followed your movements with his eyes.

You held up your hand for him to read. “See? Now I won’t forget.”

JJ chuckled and shook his head. “You’re cute, photographer guy.”

Your heart did that thing again. That stupid thing where it started beating faster and made your brain short circuit.

“Maybank, Y/L/N!” Mr Ramos’ voice suddenly rang through the classroom. All the other students also turned their heads to look at the two of you.

The teacher raised his pencil in a warning. “If you can’t stop distracting the students that are required to be here, Y/L/N, then I will have to ask you to leave in the future.”

Your eyes widened and you started stammering an apology when suddenly, JJ came to your aid.

“Understood, chief,” he said and saluted Mr Ramos. When the teacher turned away and everybody started minding their own business again, he added, now looking at you: “Seriously, stop distracting me, Y/L/N.”

You didn’t know if it was the way he emphasized your last name, or what he said entirely, but you felt the adrenaline pumping under your skin and a sudden need to scream. But in the good way, if that made sense somehow.

You didn’t notice how JJ moved his chair next to you, and when you came to your senses again he was already sitting on the table next to you again, twirling a pen in his hand and whipping his head to a song no one could hear, just as nothing had happened.

You felt the heavy feeling in your stomach again and just as you wanted to return back to your work too, the boy turned his head and threw a wink at you.

You smiled, and he smiled back, and you light-heartedly continued correcting your photographs.

—

When you laid in bed that night, you were thinking of tousled, golden hair in the setting evening sun, and toned arm muscles reaching out of a tank top, and a small birthmark right under an ear on a jawline.

That night, you fell asleep thinking of JJ Maybank.

[rhapsodynew]

Why did Elvis Presley, having already become a star, did not want to serve on special conditions, but joined the army like an ordinary guy

Elvis Presley at the weigh-in in the army 1958

In 1958, Elvis Presley was a superstar. His rock'n'rolls are at the top of the charts, he does a lot of movies and earns fabulous sums. Now imagine what it's like to take, put your career on pause and go to serve in the army as a simple soldier for two years. That's exactly what happened to Presley. 

Elvis knew that an army was waiting for him and never tried to "mow down". Although, there were probably opportunities. The military age in the United States then came at 21. Presley passed a medical examination, and he was declared fit: fortunately, his health is excellent!

The army understood that they would soon get a world-class star and thought about how it could be used. Elvis was offered to serve under special conditions: Consider it a military band. Just six weeks of basic training, followed by rare challenges to speak at army public events.

Elvis Presley with his parents at the recruiting office. Mom will be gone soon...

Well, on March 24, 1958, he took the oath and went to school. Of course, all this was covered in detail. The army did not miss the opportunity to promote itself. That's why we have a lot of interesting pictures: here Elvis is undergoing a medical examination, here the famous cook is being cut off for him, here he is with other recruits.

Well, then there was the service. And she didn't come easily to the king of rock and roll. He complained in letters that it was hard for him, worried whether he would lose popularity, whether his fans would forget. His mood was also undermined by the unexpected death of his mother from a heart attack. The guy doted on her and was very worried. But he returned from the funeral and continued to serve.

After the training, Presley was sent to West Germany, away from the female fans who were constantly trying to break into the unit, they were on duty day and night. As if someone in Europe did not know Elvis - there were the same incidents with female fans, and fifteen letters came to the unit instead of the usual bag.

Elvis drove an army truck, became interested in karate and became close friends with his colleagues. Once, on leave, he stood up for a friend who was attacked by a German in a bar. Presley easily knocked him down – he used to do a little boxing at the time.

There, in Germany, Elvis met his future wife, Priscilla, whom he married seven and a half years later. In March 1960, Sergeant Presley fulfilled his duty to the motherland. His fears were not confirmed – they did not forget him, but on the contrary they respected him, and the singer had many more No. 1 hits, funny films, ups and downs ahead of him.

[spicyvampire]

Yes your family is fucked up, but did you and your daughter turned sister plot and kill your husband and then traveled all over Europe during a war in search for a creature only mentioned in folklore by sometimes pausing as brother and sister and sometimes as father and daughter, while using your sister who gave you a grave and move her family away cuz she was afraid of what you became's picture to act like you are looking for your wife

[elderberries-and-honey]

The couple arrived back home in Wales early in the morning. Neither of them had gotten much sleep after Winifred had finally told Lawrence the truth about her family. He kept his promise not to utter a critical word but after hearing everything, he'd hardly spoken at all and she was too afraid to ask what his feelings were.

Just as Winifred had suspected, the death of Alice Bloomsburg had made the front pages all around Europe, making her mother the moment's fickle gossip and latest topic to speculate on. Part of her understood it, long lost Bloomsburg daughter found murdered in Whitechapel? It was a scandalous headline, even she could acknowledge that and well, if she had been a casual reader, she might be absorbed into the story as much as everyone else was.

But she wasn't a casual reader. This was her mother. Her mother who had taught her to trust women, to be herself no matter the cost, to support herself and stand on her own two feet. Her mother, found alone in an alley, murdered at the hands of a maniac.

The thought was too much to bear and Winifred could feel herself standing on the ledge of madness whenever her mind tried to draw its own pictures and fill in its own gaps trying to make sense of it all.

As they made their way into the heart of the crowd, she tried to keep her eyes averted while using Lawrence as her guide. But when he came to a jarring halt, she nearly tripped over her own feet. There, written in brilliant white chalk, was the truth in all its unforgiving letters.

Lawrence didn't say a word, only glaring down at the young paperboy. It was abhorrent to be out here selling someone's misfortune and for a split second, he imagined ripping up all of the remaining newspapers and knocking over the chalkboard. Anger bubbled beneath the surface, he could feel it under his skin, but he hadn't allowed that side of him to win in so long; he had sworn never to be like his own father.

When the young paperboy, Alberto Frank, mumbled, "are you buying one or not, Mister?", the boys voice snatched him out of his trance, bring him back to reality and Lawrence continued moving along as before, grateful to almost be home after such a tiring voyage. 

As they rounded the corner away from the crowd, Lawrence let out an audible groan. Standing in front of them was another member of the Franky family, who fundamentally had a hold on their small press source there in Wales.

"Good morning, Baudelaires! Can I interest you in this morning's paper? It's a very interesting read!" Cooper Frank posed. He was the eldest of the Frank family, but a few years younger than Lawrence himself; they had spent a few years of primary school together but were never what one would call close.

Lawrence knew he meant well, that the kid was only trying to get by like everyone else, but at that instant, none of that mattered. They were predators always looking for their next meal and Lawrence had enough of being the prey. With the fatigue from their trip, and all he learned about his wife's life prior to marrying him, the fury he'd been trying to suppress finally simmered over.

"We're not interested! And you can tell your Father that he'd better stop printing these!" He demanded.

Cooper stood there bewildered with his mouth open, unsure how to respond. It was just a question, after all, however when Lawrence stepped towards him, they immediately began sizing each other up; puffing up their chests at one another while colorful language escaped both their mouths.

"And what if we don't?" Cooper challenged, planting his feet firmly on the ground as if already bracing himself for things to get physical.

Moving in even closer, Lawrence shouted, "then I'll make you!" as he began to coil a fist, jabbing a finger in Cooper's direction.

Winifred had never seen this side of Lawrence in all their years of marriage. All she could do was stand in blinking horror while the two men yelled back and forth. It was until she watched Cooper begin rolling up his sleeves further that she knew she had to do something.

"Stop! Please!" She cried out, putting herself between them. Whether it was the pregnancy hormones, or an accretion of every single awful feeling she'd had within the last two days, her eyes began welling with tears.

As soon as her words reached his ears, Lawrence's shoulders softened. He looked into her watery, blue eyes, catching his own reflection in them, and for only a flittering second, he could swear he saw caught a glimpse of his father's rage.

Both men began to back down, neither of them wanting to accidentally harm a pregnant woman, and really they didn't want to harm the other either. They ashamedly tucked their tails between their legs and apologized to Winifred, hoping to calm the waters before they went their separate ways.

next / previous / first

[bookqueenrules]

Beth "died" with a bang, but she will return with bangs.

So, Beth did not appear on Easter, nor was there any evidence or hint of her return. I feel it was a HUGE missed opportunity.  Many viewers of TWD from its peak in seasons 4, 5, 6, watched out of curiosity about Rick. Now that it looks like the CRM has been defeated and the story is over, many will tune back out.  There wasn’t anything teased to keep their interest.

Carol and Daryl reuniting?  That has already happened MANY times in the flagship. 

Been there; done that.  

Maggie and Negan facing off?  Again, it has already happened MANY times in the flagship. Been there; done that. 

A post credits scene would have been the perfect way to give Richonne their happening ending but create further interest in the universe. (No wonder AMC did not like episode 6) Bringing back a classic character like Beth would have been a perfect post credits scene. A golden opportunity was lost.

Do I still think they will bring her back? ABSOLUTELY.  

Yes, there is all the symbolism, but more than that, there are the repeated statements that the DD spin-off is about DARYL’S  happy ending.  It’s been made abundantly clear in the spin-off that a wife and kids are Daryl’s happy ending.  Isabelle and Laurent are the “false family” or the temptation to “settle” like Rick and Jadis were tempted to settle for the CRM as a “false family”. Here is a snippet from an article published this week:

In one of the DD season 2 teasers, there is a picture of the angel appearing to Balaam from the Bible. Then, it fades to Carol’s picture. I think it simply means angel/Carol will prevent Daryl/Balaam from going the wrong way/doing the wrong thing.  She will stop him from accepting the “false family”.

However, I am concerned that we will see little, if any, Beth in season 2. One, because so much of the time will be about finishing the France story and reuniting Daryl and Carol.

Two, Emily’s bangs are telling us SO much about the timing of Beth's return.

As best as I have been able to piece together, Emily cut her bangs in late October/early November.  I don’t believe she filmed anything for season 2 before then.  I totally believe that the bangs are to give Beth a new look, and the "bang/bangs" connection. She posts this at the end of November about being "so busy". So, HOPEFULLY she was filming in November!

Emily was in NYC at the same time as the NYCC where Norman, Zabel, Gimple, and Nicotera did a panel last October.  Norman was on a radio show also during that time in October saying he was in NYC for three weeks. So, could she have filmed things in NYC to be cut into DD season 2?  Maybe, but pictures from the time seem to show her without the bangs.

She seemed to be back in LA by December 5. 

So, knowing one episode takes around three weeks to film, she might be in the last two episodes.  More likely, she won't show up until the final episode. No one saw her filming in France.  That DOES NOT mean that she didn’t film there, but I think it does indicate that, if she did, it was limited. The picture below was posted by the actor who plays Losang, leader of the Nest, also at the end of November:

You will notice the red cross on the right.  It looks much like the white cross on the Grady vehicles.

I think this is another clue that Beth’s story will be tied into medical experiments/treatments in some way.

Why the change in color? @frangipanilove has a marvelous post about the color red and its symbolic use on TWD. Here

It's in a tunnel. There is a TON of symbolism there that I will save for another post, but it is not dissimilar to the hallway at Grady. So, Beth returning there would be a perfect parallel to Coda.

To me, it seems Beth won't be featured, or get a real story, until Season 3. That may be why she was in Europe this past weekend. Maybe she is looking for a place to stay while filming this summer or even doing some pre-production work. 

Regardless, Beth is STILL on her way....

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-paperbacks]

Thoughts on 1.3

Ok, I’m still devastated over Sofia Ivanovna but I’m finally able to put that aside just enough to belatedly type up my thoughts.

But first, I wanted to acknowledge the antisemitism in the room, because it appears briefly in this chapter, comes in even stronger in 1.4, and will unfortunately continue to crop up throughout the book. I love Dostoevsky’s writing and find it to generally be very compassionate and humanising, but there are unfortunately antisemitic tropes present. Jewish people are more often mentioned than actually depicted or included as characters, which means these tropes occur as passing nods, but it is still noticeable. I do not know enough about the man’s personal views to know how much of this was done consciously or intentionally on his part, and how much was a consequence of the general climate of Europe and Russia at the time, but to be blunt, I don’t care to know. Intentional or unintentional, it is wrong and has a harmful effect. And it feels irresponsible of me to be posting about this book without pointing out and categorically disavowing that aspect of it. These tropes are disgusting and evil. They have zero basis in reality, but they do have an immense damaging impact on the lived reality of Jewish people down to this day. This bookclub will have zero tolerance for antisemitism.

Now onto my thoughts.

It seems that Fyodor not only has a constant eye for opportunities to invest his capital, but also for opportunities to prey on vulnerable women

Sofia is the orphaned daughter of “some obscure deacon.” Interestingly, she will not be the last woman in the novel who meets that description, which makes it feel like a significant detail

The only detail the narrator is able to give us about Sofia's childhood (the fact that she made an attempt to hang herself and had to be cut down) is the only detail we need in order to create an absolutely horrific and gut-wrenching picture of what this girl suffered. And there's just something so real about it? The fact that this old benefactress lady is not evil or motivated by any real malice. She isn't a Bad Person, she isn't Cinderella's wicked stepmother. I doubt she truly even hates Sofia. She does seem to be almost resentful of her own decision to take the orphan in, and takes that out on her, as though Sofia is the one who asked to be orphaned and then taken in by this woman. But it's not really about Sofia at all. Her constant picking at and criticising of Sofia comes from sheer idleness and boredom (and let's be real, probably some generational stuff from the way she herself was raised). This is how it so often is in real life. The fact that bullies and abusers of this kind are not necessarily bad or malicious people just makes it even worse. It's so pointless and petty, but the damage is real, as we can see for poor Sofya Ivanovna.

On a stylistic note, I again love the limitations of our narrator. He can’t tell us everything, he’s just reporting to us what he himself has heard or been able to uncover. It imbues the whole thing with so much reality

“What could a sixteen-year-old girl possibly make of it all beyond realizing that she would be better off throwing herself in the river than staying with her benefactress?” (McDuff) - <\3 ouch, my heart.

It’s a small comfort, but I’m glad that he at least didn’t benefit financially from this marriage. Although that seems to have possibly worsened his treatment of Sofia Ivanovna. I do think that he did have—perhaps not respect, but something like it, for the fact that his first wife was from a better family than him and brought so much wealth to the table. (The fact that she was fully capable of beating him up probably helped too.) But with Sofia Ivanovna, “he even trampled with both feet on the ordinary decencies of marriage.” (P&V)

Grigory standing up for Sofia is a little glimmer of something heartwarming and beautiful in such a dark and sordid and deeply sad chapter

This is the first mention of the klikushi, which is translated numerous different ways. I talk about it in this post and provide a good resource to learn more

The benefactress equates Sofia’s absolutely horrendous circumstances as having been sent by God. As punishment for her “ingratitude.” When she eventually took charge of the children, one wonders if she ever voiced this opinion to them. Was Ivan ever told that: that God caused his mother’s suffering?

I wish we knew more about Yefim Petrovich Polenov. He sounds like such an excellent person.

Ivan appears to be pretty much the polar opposite of Mitya. He works hard at his studies, and then works hard to support himself, loathing the thought of being dependent on others and not banking on any inheritance. He’s resourceful and creative about it too

I love his little alter ego as “Eyewitness”

Ivan managed to write an article in such a way that people of completely polarised views all read it and thought the author was on their side. Honestly, this isn’t that dissimilar from how Dostoevsky’s own work gets picked up today.

Are the “one or two astute men” who conclude that Ivan is basically the 19th century equivalent of a troll the correct ones here?

Why did Ivan show up in his hometown when he had been preparing to go abroad? What business could have possibly made Mitya decide to summon the help of his brother that he’s never met before? Whatever it is, apparently even this will not serve to make his arrival completely explicable.

Why does the arrival almost immediately give our narrator an uneasy feeling? What is this sense of looming catastrophe that continues to haunt these pages?

Ok. Now I’m off to delve into chapter 1.4, and then I’ll be caught up!

[theragethatisdesire]

Tysm for answering my ti penso ask!!!! I’d love to know about their wedding, whenever you want to share with us <3333 i love ur writing and fjskdmlamdla UR AMAZING BYE

ti penso nonny!!! i cant believe u came back for more and are inviting me to ramble.....pls u don't even know how many times i've thought of this

ti penso wedding headcanons bc you say so! <3

by the time you two are ready to tie the knot, eren's a well-known public figure in the music industry, and he's raking it in. per. his insistence, the intricate planning of your wedding catches the attention of the vogue editors, and you wind up being at the center of a multi-page spread in vogue of one of the most high-profile weddings of the year

obviously you're getting married on a vineyard in tuscany, where else? eren's a sucker for a callback

i picture a late summer wedding, probably august

flowers EVERYWHERE, like the floral bill is probably in-fucking-sane

bc of all of his connections, eren gets top tier musicians for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception. world-class pianist playing as you walk down the aisle, the best strings quartet money can buy for cocktail hour

eren tears up and grins so big while you walk down the aisle, probably does a stupid little wave to you that makes you giggle

eren insists on writing his own vows. he rambles on for, like, over five minutes but its sweet

jean and mikasa's daughter, clara, is your flower girl, just like at historia and ymir's wedding, dragging her little brother behind her

armin gets ordained to perform the ceremony, and zeke is the best man, but jean gives the longest, funniest speech at the reception. mikasa and you are hiding your red faces behind your hands and eren's falling out of his seat laughing by the end of it

eren cries during the first dance and insists on taking your garter off wtih his teeth, much to your chagrin

the reception goes on forever, eren is walking you around and introducing and re-introducing you to people, won't stop calling you mrs.jaeger, "have you met my wife?"

definitely gets you a little gift the morning of, maybe a pair of earrings or something with a note saying "see you later <3" ugh

also buys you COPIOUS amounts of wedding night/honeymoon lingerie "so you have options"

THE HONEYMOON. one of dreams. eren's been busy trying to prepare the company to lose him for a few weeks and you've been doing the same at work, so you two spend a month just travelling around europe. luxury spas, 5-star hotels, it's honestly obscene how much money he spends, but eren knows no limits when it comes to you lol

[ash-whimsicalfanfic]

Agent Rushmore (CH 3)

Leroy Jethro Gibbs X Fem OC/Reader

Word Count: 1374

Warnings: Mild language, violence, gore, guns, fluff, smut, angst, PTSD, graphic scenes, blood…

Prompt: Special Agent Locklyn Rushmore, a highly trained Russian assassin who is skilled in all forms of hand-to-hand combat, weaponry, negotiating, and more. When her cover is blown, she is returning back to NCIS headquarters in D.C…

Jethro Gibbs POV

I watch her as she walks around the room. I could tell she was on edge and anxious. She was lost in thought and I didn’t miss my team giving me a look. They thought she was suspicious. I shake my head at them. She wasn’t. She was scared.

“The Dixen family is one of power, greed and death. They are a mafia family, one that has been going for five generations. The longest family mafia to continue. They use to be at the bottom of the food chain, but they soon were at the top. They still are. Their name and their power should be enough to scare you away.” She starts.

“It didn’t scare you away.” Ducky says.

“Because no one would take that case and I thought, what do I have to live for. If this went sideways of course. And it has. But, I realized how terrible this family is. And I couldn’t die. No…they need to be taken down.” She says.

“What changed?” Tim asks.

“I went undercover five years ago. I look younger than I am. I became twenty-two year old, Svetlana Yákov. I was to work as an exotic dancer in one of the clubs they owned. I did for two weeks. That was when the eldest brother noticed me, Kenzo Dixen. He prefers his women fiesty, curvy, and red-headed. I fit the description. His other two brothers, Kayvon and Kazor Dixen, weren’t so fond of me in the beginning. They were suspicious of me and I really thought my cover would have been blown then.” She explains, still pacing the room.

“Oh Locklyn.” Ducky murmurs.

“In due time, I became Kenzo’s fiancé. I was thankful how quick things moved because it meant I was trusted and soon I was sitting in on meetings. They spoke so freely in front of me. Occasionally, they’d ask my opinion.” She says.

“And you’d say what?” I ask.

“At first, I played dumb. They’d laugh and joke around how I was a woman with no brains. I was eavesdropping one day and Kenzo’s father, Kyler, wanted him to break the engagement off. He said I was a good for nothing whore with no brains. In fact, he said I was worse than a blonde. I managed to get in contact with Director Shepard and she told me to put my brain to work. Go with my gut. Go deeper into Svetlana’s cover and not my own identity. I was mixing the two, I was aware and as was she. I feared I’d lose myself to my undercover identity.” She says.

“So?” Tony asks, very intrigued by the story.

“They were having trouble with a drug op. As much as I hated assisting in them smuggling drugs through airlines to get to Europe, I did. Director Shepard was aware and she helped make it happen. We just had airline security play dumb. That was when the family finally realized that I may be a good wife to Kenzo. It went like that, them asking for ideas. Thankfully, Kenzo decided he liked to run things. He was happy I showed his family I was someone with brains, but he felt threatened. So, he had me stand down and keep my silence. In fact, after the whole op went the way they wanted and his family was quite proud of me. He was angry. He liked to be the top-dog. He likes to be prided. So, I faced a beating for that. I took it, not wanting my cover to be blown.” She explains.

“Lock…” Jen murmurs.

“I worked hard. Trying to be feisty, yet obedient. I didn’t want to step on his toes too much and he kill me. So, I did my best. I listened, I got pictures, I witnessed murders and got more beatings throughout the years. But, I got the call that we had enough to bring the Dixen family down for good. Everything was going to plan until they got a federal agent on their side. He got promoted within the past three years. However, all along he was with them—before I went undercover. So, the federal agent wasn’t sure who was undercover and where they were in the family.” She explains.

“Narrows it down to ten people.” Jen says, laying out ten pictures.

“The family drifted and fought and accused anyone including blood. It was a mess. Everyone there was on edge. Director Shepard was trying to pull me out when the federal agent figured out who I was. I was packing my stuff and was about to flee. However, they already got the information that Svetlana wasn’t who she said she was. She was the mole. As you know, mafias and moles never go hand-in-hand. I left as quick as I could. I’ve spent months trying to lose them whilst trying to get back here. But, they’ve always known where I am and I can’t figure it out. I’m an ex-Russian assassin and spy and I can’t lose a few mudaka’s.” She says.

“Huh?” Tony asks and I slap him in the back of the head.

“You have a whole mafia after you, not a few assholes. You can’t blame yourself.” Jen says.

“Lock, lay there.” Ducky says.

She sighs, doing as told. He grabs the X-Ray machine and steps back with us. We watch and wait.

“Right here.” He says when he’s studying the scan.

My eyes wandered over some of the bones that didn’t heal quite right or the ones she’s recently injured before reaching the thing he was pointing at. In her arm.

“I was shot there but they got the bullet out.” She says.

“And put a tracker in you.” Jen says.

“Ducky, get it out.” She says quietly.

Ducky gives her a pitiful look, grabbing a pair of gloves. She sits, putting her arm on the table and I see the white star shaped scar from a bullet. Ducky makes a cut, grabbing tweezers and pulling out a small little tracker. Next thing I know, Locklyn had her boot off and was smashing it.

“I think you got it, Lock. You wouldn’t of known if it weren’t been for the scan. This isn’t your fault.” Jen says.

“It is Jen! It is my fault. I trained! For years, I trained. Unwilling or not, it’s who I am today. I trained for this and how did I miss them putting a damn tracker in me. This one little slip-up has costed people their lives because they want me dead. I should’ve known it was a tracker when I knew they kept following me. I’m a fool! I made a mess, Jen. This is my mess and I need to clean it up. Give me clearance to be who I was before I became a federal agent.” She says.

“No. You almost lost yourself to that part of you. I’m not going to lose you again. You are my family, Locklyn. Those bastards will pay and they will pay with a life behind bars. You will not get an clearance to be who you once were. You aren’t Locklia Rashmor…you are Locklyn Rushmore and you are a federal agent with the biggest heart I know. Your not alone anymore. You have a team.” She says, grabbing Locklyns shoulders.

“I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. This isn’t their fight.” She says quietly.

“I think your underestimating your team, Agent.” Tony says.

She looks over and I study her. The look of vulnerability in her eyes was one I found myself familiar with. She’s been alone all those years undercover with no one to turn to and now, she’s returned. She’s in a war between herself and her undercover self.

“We are a team. A family. And you are apart of this team…this family. We fight together, not alone. We have each others backs.” Ziva says.

“You got that right, Ziva. Have you been practicing your idioms?” Tony asks.

Ziva looks at me and I roll my eyes, smiling slightly as I smack the back DiNozzo’s head. He whines, grabbing the back of it as he looks at me.