#and then they'll be like And Then It Was All Okay Now.

[pillowspace]

Hihi!! Could I have some ISAT fic recs? Hurt/comfort is my fav but anything good is good~ Thank you!

I've read 200 ISAT fics, I'm gonna really have to think on which ones to put

Okay, here's your recs from my 200 fic scroll in no particular order <3 There's so many fics I like that I didn't put here, but I had to be picky about it so I didn't just put down everything I had

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victim of your own creation by dysphoriahighschool

Siffrin has craved blood for as long as they can remember. After so many years of wandering, he's come to Vaugarde in hope of finding answers, just as the King's Curse begins freezing the country in time. He's quickly losing hope, but when they come across a small group determined to save Vaugarde from the King, Siffrin decides to join them. They can't get the answers they want if the country gets frozen in time, after all. They'd never traveled with other people before. Siffrin doesn't expect to grow attached to any of them, but as time goes on, the thought of leaving them hurts more and more. Worse yet, they refuse to even entertain the thought of one of them discovering what he is and what he's done. They just know that if they find out, they'll hate them.

Words: 192,175 | Chapters: 32/?

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Stagger on Backwards by entryn17

[Ha… Ah?]

The fist opens. Hand turns. Fingers twirl. Again. And Again. You watch with mounting horror as your hand moves on its own, the actions becoming more frantic, more jittery, your chest starts to heave, stomach muscles spasming.

(Loop–)

[Stardust–]

They’re in your body. They’re in your body.

⯍

Or, after experiencing hundreds of grueling loops, Siffrin suddenly wakes up 3 months before they even started, on a bed in an infirmary, bandages wrapped tightly around their newly missing eye. Loop is there with them, too.

Words: 15,213 | Chapters: 3/?

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UNCANNY ALL ALONG by entryn17

You can… you can still fix this. If you can just muster up enough want, you, both of you can come back from this.

“You can’t come back from anything! Hundreds of days spent in stasis, in your own personal handcrafted hell, an ice cold inferno – you think you’re the same person you were before you laid down on that meadow?”

✧

Or, trauma changes you, often in ways that leave you unrecognizable to even yourself. Now freshly out of the loops and rough around the edges, Siffrin with the help of their friends has to navigate not being the person they remember.

Words: 33,629 | Chapters: 8/?

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Even in my fantasy, I can't commit to believing by Loafabun

You’re not sure what to think of Loop.

So far, you’ve come to two rather obvious conclusions during your time around them.

1) They’re… a star.

2) You don’t think they like you that much.

Words: 18,275 | Chapters: 3/3

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Human After All by dunkalfredo

Isabeau, freshly recovered from burnout after rushing through graduate school, stumbles across an ad for a lab position at the research institute where his idol, Dr. Odile Yamamoto, conducts her work. Willing to risk another bout of burnout to potentially work with the Dr. Yamamoto, he applies for the position and gets the job. However, in the process of applying, it quickly becomes clear that something sinister is happening at this institute. He decides to go forward and accept the offer—only to find himself in way over his head in a conspiracy far bigger than himself.

(Or: Modern AU/Sci-fi. Isabeau goes back into the world of science after swearing it off only to end up in the Vaugarde equivalent of Area 51 and finds Siffrin, a shapeshifter of unknown origins, trapped deep underground in a padded cell. Unfortunately, he falls in love. Is their romance doomed? Could Siffrin ever escape? What is Siffrin, anyway? And, importantly—how does Odile factor into all of this?)

Words: 33,697 | Chapters: 3/8

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The Funeral of Siffrin No Last Name by Kamary (SERIES of fics about ghost Siffrin)

"Ha, like, cut your ashes in equal parts like a pizza?"

(In a timeline that can not and will not take place, Siffrin dies. Unlike other times, he stays dead. Sort of.)

Words: 18,969 | Works: 3

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Inutile by blueshine

Mirabelle doesn't know what to do. Not with her life, not with her faith, not with her own memory. Why does it feel like she's always forgetting something important?

Mirabelle is the Housemaiden. Isabeau is the Fighter. Odile is the Researcher. Bonnie is the Kid. And that's everyone!

It's raining in Dormont. If clouds cover the stars, are they still there?

Separate Sifloops-

Words: 173,378 | Chapters: 23/34

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What became of you? by goldviola (Note: this one can get dark. I'm including it because I like it, but only read it if you're in that kind of mood)

After the world returned to normal, and everyone was safe and together once again, Isabeau noticed Siffrin's state. He knows they endured far beyond what he could ever hope to understand.

So a vague, earnest wish, mostly symbolic, was made, folded into a star shaped leaf gifted by a little girl.

I wish I could truly understand Siffrin, and always be there to help and love him.

Isabeau had no way of knowing The Universe would listen.

���

Or: Isabeau gets stuck in his own time loop, and does everything in his power to change it.

Words: 27,746 | Chapters: 1/1

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Of Stars and Longing by Raaj

Months after saving Vaugarde together, Isabeau spots Siffrin lingering outside the window of his clothing shop. Naturally, he's excited! The Universe granted his wish!

...It still feels a little bad he had to wish for it, though. And something seems off with Siffrin.

Words: 4,979 | Chapters: 2/2

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The love persists through it all. (The love persists through time.) by Pixxyofice

You are standing in front of a building. Nothing else is around- just a building. The building has a sign above a single door in big letters: TIME LOOP SURVIVORS SUPPORT GROUP. Hanging from that sign is a smaller sign reading Multidimensional!

... What the....

[...]

You let go of the door and look up as it clicks shut behind you.

You see

your family.

---

siffrin meets up with versions of his family who have suffered like he did. is this a blessing or a curse?

Words: 12,015 | Chapters: 1/?

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Follow the stars back home by Loafabun (note: I haven't actually finished this fic, but I'd like to!)

There's an island north of Vaugarde. You were never able to remember its name. So why now? Why after all this time?

It's so close. You can see it now.

You want to go home.

Inspired by a post on Tumblr by @/auncyen!

Words: 77,781 | Chapters: 16/16

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Thank you, kind wizard. For making me a frog. by Spinning_Planet_of_Love

With Siffrin's timelooping journey at an end, he walks away with a LOT of new information and trauma to process. Moving forward is a difficult feat, even with his family by his side.

Mirabelle suggests that, perhaps, keeping a journal to organize these thoughts and communicate his feelings to the others may help, so he decides to give it a try.

-

Contains spoilers for ALL content in ISAT, including achievements and quests dialogue, and eventually the epilogue too.

Words: 74,662 | Chapters: 18/?

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Bleeding in Monochrome by JustSalPals

You're the first one to notice.

(After the events of the game, red stayed in this world of black and white.)

Words: 3,061 | Chapters: 1/1

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And if I were not myself, would this be easier? by rabbit_soup

Siffrin and his party's journey to Bambouche, and how he needs to learn to deal with what happened to him during the loops. Between nightmares, regaining his humanity, and his new-found PTSD, Siffrin is sure he's being a burden to his family. They, however, think otherwise.

Hopefully they'll make it to Bambouche in one piece.

Or

Siffrin is traumatized and his friends love him a whole lot.

Words: 63,086 | Chapters: 13/?

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Natural Satellite by dirtbagtrashcat

After a hundred miserable loops, Siffrin makes a wish. Isabeau gets caught in the crossfire.

(…yes, it’s another Isa Loops AU. but hear me out! rock might beat scissors, but there’s no stone in the cosmos that can resist the gravitational pull of a star.)

Words: 55,043 | Chapters: 14/14

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Bloom by Level99Eevee

After breaking free of the loops, Siffrin is more than ready to move on and enjoy life again. They’re with their family—their friends—for another journey, one without the King’s Curse nipping at their heels, and everyone will be together for the foreseeable future. So Siffrin is fine. Great, even! The others don’t need to know that the aftermath of their experience in Dormont still hangs heavy as a noose around their neck.

They just need to get over it.

-

Or: Siffrin has trauma, learning to open up is a process, and the others realize the loops left deeper scars than previously thought.

Words: 41,445 | Chapters: 7/7

To Cut You Open With a Knife and Find Your Sacred Heart by Hexea_Art

They didn't know how they remembered but they both knew that there are legends about these fae doppelgangers, that they wish for nothing more than to steal the heart of the person whose face they stole, for power, for acceptance, to trick more people, to lessen how uncanny they could be.

Either way, it's a death wish to be around someone who shares the same face.

So of course Siffrin and Loop decided to travel together.

(Aka an ISAT changeling AU)

Words: 73,358 | Chapters: 19/21

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raconte-moi qu’on puisse crier tout bas by bibliomaniac

After everything, Loop is struggling to find their place in the world. Siffrin is struggling to adjust to life outside the loops. Isabeau is struggling to balance his love for Siffrin with his need to keep them safe, alongside his own worries about Changing. Politely, things could be better!

But when Loop joins the party on their journey, things tilt even more drastically off course. They'll all need to reconcile their past with their present growing feelings and with the future they're beginning to want. Maybe they'll even do it, too.

It will just blinding suck along the way.

Words: 100,632 | Chapters: 17/?

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ghostlight by Kittenixie

ghostlight - a single lamp placed on stage to keep the theatre from being in total darkness after everyone’s gone.

After trying and failing to kill Siffrin to take his place, Loop tries to disappear. Siffrin makes them stay. They figure things out together.

Staying with Siffrin's party in Dormont's House of Change, Loop starts down the long, winding path towards recovery, carefully trying to navigate the complicated knot of trauma and grief that the loops have left behind.

Words: 86,075 | Chapters: 24/24

Sequel is back to one | Words: 71,525 | Chapters: 14/?

[ghostmoon1]

Hello again !! May I request a Roach and Ghost x Reader who's experiencing period cramps,?

(The type that pain meds won't help, like- no matter the strength, they'll always just, do nothing. I have those and I feel like I'm getting scammed ngl/lh)

-Spidey anon

Decided to switch the name up a bit to feel less edgy😔😔😔

Hello again my lovely Spidey Anon!!

Great to see you back hehe! And seriously, I feel you there bc I get it bad like that too :( I've found meds made for targeting that pain that personally help me sometimes (Wish it was all the time but nothing is that perfect I'm afraid) and yeah, shit SUCKS. I hope you feel better soon and I hope these help!!

I might have done a wee bit... more for you to enjoy??

Ghost and Roach dealing with your period pain!

Ghost is well… he’s not very sure of how to help, but he's gonna do anything he can to make you feel better.

You wake up sometime during the night, eyes flickering over to the microwave, the blurring numbers telling you it's either 2 or 7 am. The way the streets were shrouded in darkness told you it was the first option. You were slightly hunched over, one hand holding your belly in a sorry attempt to help the pain that wouldn't stop punching your guts, the other clinging desperately to the small throw blanket that you had dragged off the bed for comfort. You padded across the room, although it made no difference once you opened the cupboards for a cup, your hand slightly preoccupied with the pain relief you had grabbed from the bathroom in hopes it might help even the tiniest bit. A clash and clatter echo across the room as multiple cups pour from the cupboards, landing all over the counter and floor.

You stood there in silence, staring at the kitchen's mess. This was not something that you wanted to deal with in the middle of the night, nor at any time right now. A small and strangled whine escaped your lips as you tried to keep the tears from spilling, staring at the cups on the ground still. It didn't take long for the warm tears to start to roll down your flushed cheeks, the weight of every small thing finally getting to you. The pain was too much, making you want to curl into a ball and never get back up, your lunch was cold in the middle even after trying to warm it up multiple times, you had spilt your coffee this morning, and to top it off, you just made a mess of the kitchen. Nothing had gone right today, and all you could do was cry.

It didn’t take long for footsteps to echo from the hall, and a very worried Simon Riley to appear in the doorway. “Luv? What are you doing out here at this time of the night?” he murmurs, swiftly making his way to your side to pull you into his chest.

“I needed something to help. But nothing helps,” you manage to sob into his chest between small hiccups, even a bit of drool now staining his shirt.

“Help…? What…?” he trails off as he realises what the date was, pulling you closer as he whispers and coos sweet praises into your ears. “Oh luvie… you’re okay,” 

He stands almost awkwardly as he holds you, wanting nothing more than to help but being unsure of what he can do to help. He takes his time as he sits you on the counter, cleaning up the mess of cups on the floor. He mutters to himself as he picks up a cup for you to use, frowning. “You have a… favourite cup, luv?” he mutters, smiling to himself as he earns a small giggle from you. He grabs you a glass of water and helps you take the pills, knowing they probably won't do much to help but he wishes for them to take the edge off. 

He takes you back to bed right after, telling you that you need your beauty sleep and that it’ll help, although he's slightly unsure if it really will. 

The next morning you wake to the smell of your favourite breakfast wafting through the house, dragging you up from the warmth and comfort of the blankets. Once you step foot into the kitchen, you're greeted with kisses being peppering along your cheek, jawline and neck. “Morning, Luv. Sleep well?” he’ll murmur into your ear, his hands moving along your waist to gently paw at your belly. He places a mug of coffee into your hands and one last kiss to the cheek before he returns to cooking you an amazing breakfast. 

“You wanna’ see if the pills will help at all luvie? I put them on the table,” 

And sure enough, when you turn around there's the pills on the table, ready just for you. But the table is also decorated with a vase of your favourite flowers, chocolates and a new plushie, all of which he must’ve got during the early hours of the morning. “Oh, and the kettle is boiled so if you want a hot water bottle, just tell me, yeah luv?”

He may be a little unsure at times when its that time of the month, but he hates seeing you in pain. So of course he’s going to treat his special girl the best he possibly can.

Roach is the type to be the biggest cuddle monster you’ve ever known.

You lay curled up in bed, the pack of pain relief and a glass of water thrown onto the bedside taunting you as you desperately clung to the hot water bottle for even an ounce of relief from the pain. They were horrible this time around, pain throbbing through your belly and this time not even rolling yourself into a ball could help. Nothing could help, besides curling up in bed and praying for the pain to go away.

Your desperate attempts to feel the pain away were interrupted by a soft knock on the door and the slow creak of it opening. Roach popped his head into the bedroom, his soft features becoming even softer as he witnessed your struggle with the pain. He was silent as he padded across the room to your side, kneeling down and placing his hand on your shoulder. 

“Oh baby… you don’t look too well. Have you had the pain relief?” he asks quietly, his fingers tracing slow circles on your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. His frown deepens as you nod and he notices the packet of pills on your bedside. “Oh no baby, they aren’t working for you huh?” 

He watches how your features scrunch up in pain for a moment before not waiting any longer nor asking before he slips into the bed behind you. His chest presses against your back, one hand slipping underneath the hot water bottle and gently massaging your stomach and the other coming up to play with your hair, cooing and whispering sweet praises. His legs tangled with yours as he tried his best to comfort you and to take your mind off the pain, lulling you to sleep. He stays with you the entire time, his hand gently massaging your stomach in an attempt to rid the pain, trapping the warmth from his body and the hot water bottle under the blanket with you. 

Whenever you wake, grumbling softly with his body still slumped over yours you’ll find him fast asleep as well. With a weak push he wakes, mumbling softly in your ear and pecking small kisses against your shoulder, whispering “Sleep okay baby?” and “Does it hurt? What can I do?”

If you ask, he’ll carefully untangle himself from your embrace ti fix some pills and water up for you in hopes they might help even a tiny bit, or if you ask for food he’ll either cook you up whatever you’d like, or order via the phone so you won’t have to move an inch. Don’t worry, he’ll look after you, he just wants you to relax and let him help.

[makenna-made-this]

The key to dodging unwanted questions about your life at family get togethers around the holidays is to foster a reputation of having such an unhinged, all encompassing obsession with Chickens that it is considered god's latest miracle for you to talk about literally anything else, no matter how inane or off topic

[1moreff-creator]

Okay listen, listen. Eden's Garden CH1 was great and I loved it and I'll make a more detailed analysis post about it at some point. And Eva in particular is fantastic and my favorite character. There's just- There's just a little, little issue I have with her FTEs, and if I don't talk about it I'm gonna explode. 

Spoilers for P:EG CH1 and Eva's FTEs.

CW: I am about to be a Massive Fucking Nerd on main.

This post was originally going to be about how Eva's papers, the way she describes them, sound like they kinda suck. But then I realized that the way she describes the Riemann zeta function… is just wrong???? Like, it doesn't converge to- EVA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?!?!?!?!

Like, look, I don't think "Eva sucks at writing papers actually” is the conclusion I'm meant to reach after doing her FTEs. I'm also pretty sure the mistakes she makes when describing the Riemann zeta function (henceforth "zeta function” for brevity) are just mistakes on the writers’ part, which is fine because that thing is very confusing. 

And to be clear, Eva being bad at writing papers doesn't mean she's actually bad at science. I mean, she apparently solved the goddamn Riemann Hypothesis, and doesn't even think it's that big a deal!

Eva, sad [3rd FTE]: They'll put it on my gravestone: here lies the girl who could barely solve Riemann's stupid hypothesis. 

(Thank you Ani from youtube for uploading these things it makes citation so much easier <3)

Girliepop if I solved a problem that's stumped mathematicians for over a hundred years (which carries a million dollar prize btw), you bet your fucking ass I want that on my gravestone! And look, I know that this is not necessarily due to her doing more impressive stuff in mathematics. That it's more so because she's internalized what other people think about her skills, and since a lot of people erroneously believe math is uncool she doesn't think this is as big a deal as it is. But the fact that she managed to solve this thing at all, not to mention at eighteen years old, already puts her in contention for best mathematician of the damn century. And that's incredible, because math is badass. 

In short, Eva's cool and a great mathematician. But the way she talks about her other work, the papers she wishes got more recognition, makes me really doubt her actual skill as a writer of these papers. Let me explain. 

There are three papers Eva mentions writing, or thinking about writing, across her FTEs. One about literature, another about lightspeed travel, and one about the Riemann zeta function. 

Eva [1st FTE]: Earlier this year, I wrote a whole paper on an obscure subgenre of Western speculative fiction… I spent weeks on it, expecting it to receive a lot of attention from literary critics…

Eva [1st FTE]: I could write a research paper on the theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel, but no one would care, because…

Eva [4th FTE]: …I wrote a paper about how you can use tabletop gaming to understand [the Riemann zeta function].

Now, I can't say anything about the literature paper, because she gives no details on it. I also don't know enough about literature to know how long it usually takes to write papers on it, so I'll take her word for it that working for weeks on it is notable. 

For the hypothetical paper about the "theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel", I have my doubts, but she also doesn't give enough details about what that paper would entail for me to definitively say anything about it. We'll get back to this one, though.

Meanwhile, the paper she gives the most details on is the Riemann zeta function one, and… yeah that one's trash. 

There’s two reasons I say that. One is the technical issue with the description she gives, which basically boils down to “there’s severe inaccuracies in her explanation and also she just straight up gets some things wrong,” and is extremely nerdy and math heavy to explain; and the other is a much more fundamental problem with the very thesis of the paper, which doesn’t require math to explain, but I’ll leave for later. 

I’ll start with the technical side and the things she gets wrong about the zeta function. I’ll try to make this accessible for non-math nerds, but fair warning, this is pretty difficult math so I can only do so much. That includes keeping to the tabletop analogy Eva used in the spirit of the thing. 

By the way, take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt. I'm a third year Physics major, so while I know way more math than the average person, I am by no means an expert. I am liable to get things wrong. In fact, I actually didn't know anything about the zeta function or the Riemann hypothesis before seeing these FTEs, I just researched them because I got curious about the Riemann hypothesis after seeing it show up in not one, but two fangans I've seen (it has a cameo in DR Despair Time if you're curious). However, even though I'm not an expert, I think I know enough to definitively say Eva's very wrong about a few things.

Lots of math incoming, TL;DR after the next red title

As a refresher, this is a paraphrased version of what she explains.

Eva (Paraphrased) [4th FTE]: Take 1, ½, ⅓, ¼, and so on for infinity, and pretend they are characters in a tabletop game (TTG). An enemy casts a status effect on your denominators so that they are all raised to the power of p, where the value of p is decided by dice roll. Now your characters are 1, 1/2ˆp, 1/3ˆp, etc. For your turn, you add all of your characters together, and that’s the zeta function ζ(p) = 1 + 1/2ˆp + 1/3ˆp + ... What is the value of ζ(p)?

This is good, that sum is indeed the first way to define the zeta function (more on that later), so it's correct. However, she then makes two statements. 

Statement 1: If p is higher than 1, then you get a whole number; a number without decimals. ( ζ(p) = a whole number). Statement 2: If p is lower than 1, then you get 0, “an infinite amount of zeroes.” ( ζ(p) = 0).

(You’ll notice I put that last thing in quotes. I’ll get back to it)

Now, I’m going to ignore a few minor inaccuracies which Eva likely makes to simplify the concepts, because they’re not too important. For example; you can’t “add” infinite numbers, that’s not a thing. An infinite series can converge, which is slightly different from arithmetic addition. However, the two things are close enough that, for most people, the distinction doesn’t really matter. In other words, I’m fine with her saying she’s adding infinite numbers together, and similar claims. 

There's one inaccuracy I can’t gloss over, though; Eva never tells Damon which dice is rolled to determine the value of p. In math terms, she never tells him the domain of the function (the domain of a function, btw, is the set of values for which the function is defined). Are the values p can take real or complex? Can it be any real/complex, or are there restrictions? 

For the unaware, since this is gonna come up, I’ll define a complex number using the TTG analogy. A complex number is a special character born by adding together a real number "r" (one of the numbers you’re all familiar with), and another real number "b" equipped with (math: multiplied by) the Epic Tier item known as the imaginary unit “i”. This Epic item has the property that iˆ2 = -1. So basically a complex number "z" is one where

z = r + bi

where r,b are real and i is the imaginary unit. "r" is known as the real component, and "b" is the imaginary component.

(Note: All real numbers are complex numbers where b=0, but not all complex numbers are real)

In case you’re curious, these things are used in several fields, such as the study of electrical circuits with alternating current, and they appear in relation to the Schrödinger equation- I’m getting off track.

So, what dice does Eva want the opponent to roll to define p? Well, she never says it, but we can infer. She says that p can be “higher than 1,” and that clues us in that she’s probably rolling the dice of real numbers. After all, there’s no universally agreed upon definition of what it means for a complex number to be “higher than” another complex number. Meanwhile, she doesn’t mention any restrictions on what value p can take, so it’s safe to say she’s implying that p can be any real number higher than or lower than 1, aka any real number except maybe 1. Now, the zeta function doesn’t actually have that domain, but we’ll get to that.

For now, let’s analyze her statements assuming p is any real number other than 1. Let’s take a look at the first one. 

Statement 1: If p is higher than 1, then ζ(p) is a whole number; a number without decimals. 

This is wrong. Just so we’re clear, I could probably prove, with my somewhat limited math knowledge, that this statement can only work if the domain is more restrictive than “all real numbers other than 1” as described previously. It'd have to be defined only in whole numbers, for example.

However, I don’t need to. One of the first lines in the Wikipedia page of the zeta function says that ζ(3) (which is the value you get after “adding all your characters” when p = 3) is an irrational number. That is, among other properties, a number with infinite decimals. Eva could not be more wrong if she tried. 

(Btw, yes I'm using Wikipedia as my only source. Not particularly rigorous research on my part, but this is a silly Tumblr post about funny killing game, there's a limit to my insanity)

I don’t even know how this happened, btw. It’s pretty clear this is a goof on the devs’ side (perfectly understandable btw, it took me several reads of the Wikipedia pages for both the zeta function and the Riemann hypothesis to even get them enough to write this post, and as stated I study a lot of math for my career), but I genuinely don’t know where they got the idea from. There’s nothing I could find about whole numbers in relation to the zeta function. There’s connections to prime numbers, which are all whole, but the series doesn't converge to them, the connection is a bit weirder than that. There's also some stuff Euler found about it converging to rational numbers for negative integers, but again, not whole numbers, and not even for real values above 1. So, yeah, no clue.

Anyways, what about the other statement?

Statement 2: If p is lower than 1, then you get 0, “an infinite amount of zeroes.”

This is also obviously wrong. In fact, reader! Can you think of a counterexample which is immediately obvious if you think about it for two seconds? A real number p lower than 1 such that ζ(p) isn't 0?

If you said “zero, because zero always breaks everything in very obvious ways,” you have good intuition! You could have also picked any other real number lower than 1, but those are less obvious.

For 0, the reason it’s so apparent is that any number raised to the power of zero is just 1, so 1 + 1/2ˆ0 + 1/3ˆ0 + … just turns into 1 + 1 + 1 + … and so on for infinity. Very obviously, the series diverges, it “goes to infinity.” This is very different from converging to 0.

And just so we’re clear, the series also diverges for any real value of p lower than 1, though I’ll leave proving that one as an exercise to the reader, with the help that I’ll tell you the infinite series 1 + ½ + ⅓ + ¼ + … also goes to infinity. Again, Eva could not be more wrong if she tried. 

So, what went wrong here? Turns out, the way Eva defined the zeta function as an infinite series (a "sum of infinite numbers”) only works when p is a complex number with a real component higher than 1. That’s why it was important for her to say what dice we were rolling to determine p, what the domain of the function defined by the series is. For other numbers, you need to define zeta in different ways.

And what happened to the whole “infinite zeroes” thing? Well, you see, I have a theory. I think the devs must have read that the zeta function had “an infinite amount of zeroes for values of p with a real component lower than 1” (which is true, but doesn’t mean what they think it means), and misinterpreted from there. Fair mistake. I kinda wanna correct it using the TTG analogy, but I’ll leave that for the end of the post because it’s gonna derail the entire thing.

(I got carried away and explained everything I understood about the Riemann zeta function oops)

What you need to know for now; you can do some math tricks to define the zeta function outside of the infinite series Eva described, though a lot of those tricks are way above my pay grade. That way, you can evaluate the function for any complex value of p other than 1. In other words, you can roll different die for p, but it requires redefining what you're doing with that p.

Turns out, in doing that, some funky shit happens, and any time p equals -2n for any n which is a natural number (that is, p = -2 or -4 or -6 or -8, etc.), the zeta function will go to zero. Those values of p are known as the “trivial zeroes” of the function, and are obviously infinite in number. However, note that these trivial zeroes are exclusively negative even integers; there are plenty of real values of p lower than 1 for which the zeta function is not zero, so Eva still isn’t correct at all.

Though, to be clear, there are also zeroes of the function other than the trivial ones. This is actually where the Riemann hypothesis comes in. The hypothesis is that any non-trivial zero of the zeta function has a real component of exactly ½, with the only difference between them being the imaginary component (if you didn't follow, again, more detailed explanation at the bottom of the post). This (in our world) has not been definitively proven to work for every non-trivial zero, though it does work for the first several trillion. 

Absurdly nerdy math rant over

So TL;DR, Eva made some pretty big mistakes when talking about the convergence of the zeta function, mainly stemming from not properly defining its domain, but also just straight up getting the convergence wrong. It doesn’t converge exclusively to whole numbers for real numbers above 1, and has to be defined in a different way for real values below 1, not to mention that she never brings up the full function is actually defined for complex numbers other than 1. 

Obviously, this all likely stems from the creators not actually understanding the zeta function themselves, which is pretty funny.

But you wanna know what the bigger issue is? That even if Eva had properly explained the zeta function, her paper would still suck ass. Because there’s a much bigger, more fundamental issue with the very thesis it upholds.

I want you to take a step back. Really look past the complex math and weird terms and the contrast between the very serious sounding Riemann zeta function and the somewhat silly concept of a TTG… 

And realize that the thesis of the paper Eva describes is “analogies exist.”

She can frame it however she likes, but ultimately, that’s what the point of the paper was. Eva, where the hell did you even get this published? In fact, I think it’s silly for you to say that it’d have been better received if your talent was different, because without it, I don’t see a world where this shit could even be submitted to any journal with even a modicum of self respect!

And look, she’s not wrong. I get her point, that mathematicians often don’t put in enough effort to communicate their work to the layman, and would benefit from explaining things in more creative ways. That’s cool. But that’s the kind of thing you would write for, like, an article or something.

But a paper is specifically meant for research. Calling this thing a paper almost feels insulting to mathematicians. Like the concept of using analogies to explain math is an unprecedented discovery that required actual research to figure out. Unless this paper was also the one where Eva solved the Riemann hypothesis (which God I hope that was a different paper), there's no new information being presented here. It's at best a personal opinion piece, which is not what scientific papers are for. 

Am I silly for getting hung up on the wording of this being described as a paper instead of an article or opinion piece or whatever? Well, this entire post is silly, but I don't think it's because of that, because words mean things. And a scientific paper carries certain connotations that do not align with what Eva describes.

And this little issue casts doubt in her general skill as a paper writer. That's why I'm a bit skeptical about the paper she mentions about the "theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel.” Because, quite frankly, that paper topic sounds… meaningless? Like a bunch of technobabble?

Like, what exactly are you discussing about lightspeed travel? In fact, what are you actually referring to when you say "lightspeed travel"? Matter approaching lightspeed, or reaching or even exceeding lightspeed? The latter two are impossible according to current scientific consensus, btw. Or is she discussing a particular trick to get something from point A to point B in less time than it would take for light to cover that distance? There are papers discussing stuff like that, even if all the mechanisms are also thought to be impossible by consensus. And regardless of what she means by "lightspeed travel", what does she mean "theoretical possibility” of it? Like, genuinely, I have no clue. Is she speculating on whether or not it's possible? Is she speculating on the properties such travel would have? Is she proposing a theoretical method to do it? Is she doing something else entirely? The premise of the paper is too vague, is my point. 

This worries me because… well, to put it bluntly, experts in related fields (such as mathematics) attempting to make cool sounding physics theories (such as a paper on the "theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel", whatever that means) which are completely wrong and nonsensical is a real, observable phenomenon in our world. Check out Angela Collier's "physics crackpots: a 'theory’” to find out more. And also check out the rest of her youtube channel it's great.

What Eva is doing with that paper honestly sounds remarkably close to what Angela describes there. In fact, let's check out whether or not Eva's hypothetical paper fits any of the four points Angela brings up to spot a crackpot theory.

1. “Addresses THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS in physics.”

By this, Angela means that the theory addresses a problem or topic that anyone with a passing interest in physics knows is a big deal. Things like dark matter, gravity, black holes, and yes, "lightspeed travel.” You're not going to see anyone with a crackpot theory on the equation of state of real gases or Eddy currents, because by the point you know what those things are in enough depth to be interested in them, you probably also know enough to determine what a good physics theory is and what isn't. Eva's paper fits this point, but that doesn't necessarily mean Eva is a crackpot physicist, right? 

2 and 4. “Lacking mathematical rigor, experimental data, etc.” and “They are not physics theories”

I grouped these two because it's impossible for me to know whether Eva's paper would actually fit these points or not. She doesn't give enough details for me to say. I can tell you for sure it's not gonna have experimental data, but since it's theoretical physics, that's fine. So, we can maybe give her the benefit of the doubt? As long as she doesn't fit the last point too well maybe-

3. “Respond with anger, claim physics establishment has blacklisted them, cite Galileo/Einstein/etc."

Oh no. 

Eva [1st FTE]: I could write a research paper on the theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel, but no one would care…

Oh no chat. She might actually be a crackpot physicist. 

It doesn't help that her mentality in general is actually very in line with the mentality described in the Angela video mentioned above. That because she's a smart person (which she is; again, solved the damn Riemann hypothesis), she should be able to easily become recognized and respectable in any field she takes interest in. But that isn't how the world works. There's a reason people spend years of their life studying literature, physics, or mathematics, just to truly get a grasp of each discipline individually. 

Ok, but, like, what's my point? Am I going to include her misunderstanding of the zeta function and the possibility of her being a "crackpot physicist” in any character analysis? No, of course not. You're very clearly meant to think Eva is genuinely skilled in every field she approaches, because this is a fangan and Ultimates can bend the limits of humanity to fit a narrative. I'm perfectly willing to accept that Eva solved the Riemann hypothesis, as you've seen throughout this post, even though I'd be highly skeptical of anyone making that same claim in the real world, "Ultimate” or not. The same way I'd accept that a fictional character of any kind could manage to accelerate a particle to exactly lightspeed, even though I'd immediately call bullshit if someone claimed to do it in real life. The standard for believability is different for fictional characters than real people, basically.

Really, when you boil it down, I only take issue with the things Eva says because I'm genuinely passionate about the topics she mentions, and because she gives enough details about her work for me to see the cracks in the writers’ knowledge of them. I'm assuming this is a common issue with any fangan that tries to really explain what being an "Ultimate” in a particular field entails, because no one is actually well versed enough in sixteen different talents to actually say that for sure. That's why Eva off-handedly mentioning that she solved the Riemann hypothesis is much more effective as a way to establish her skill than trying and failing to get her to actually explain the zeta function. 

All in all, this is just a purely self-indulgent post for me to vent about issues I have with the way the writers tried to convey Eva's expertise. Feel free to completely ignore this for character analysis, because I sure will. I just needed to talk about it because I would explode if I didn't. Anyways, hope you enjoyed! If you made it this far, you deserve a function named specifically after you! See y-!

Oh right I almost forgot.

My Own Explanation of the Riemann Zeta Function Using the TTG Analogy

(Explained by someone with little more than Wikipedia access, take all this with a grain of salt)

Think of finding the zeroes of a function as a boss fight. You go up to them, and you cast a spell, generally in the form of a number, such that the function becomes zero when you cast it. For example, the Easy Function

f(x) = 2x - 6

can be defeated by casting “3”, since 2x3 - 6 = 0. 

Every function also has a “domain”, which is a set of spells you can actually cast against it. For example, since 1/0 is undefined, the Medium Function g(x) = 1/x has a domain of all complex numbers except 0. Casting 0 against g has no effect. You need a special spell, “limit when x tends to infinity” (or negative infinity) to defeat it.

The zeta function is a Legendary Boss, defined by the infinite series ζ(s) = 1 + 1/2^s +1/3^s + … 

(I changed p to s for a reason trust the process)

Many mathematicians had tried to defeat it before, but it seemed futile*. Its domain was thought to be all real numbers higher than 1 (they originally didn't think to use complex numbers against it), but no matter what number was picked, that first term was too powerful. Even casting “limit when s tends to infinity” only got zeta down to 1. Nothing in its domain seemed to work.

Until Riemann arrived. 

The zeta function chuckled, thinking this one to be like all the many others before him. But the legendary mage Riemann had many a trick the zeta function hadn't seen before. Tricks to make make the domain of the function larger, so that new Number Spells could be cast against it. Where everyone else had only ever attempted to cast real numbers against this boss, he wouldn't be satisfied with that. Without warning, he cast the first of many powerful spells needed to do what needed to be done.

"Domain Expansion; Proof of Complexity"

Since you already knew this part, I'll skip the proof, but basically, Reimann quickly showed that the infinite series which defined the zeta function for real numbers higher than one actually worked for any complex number with a real component higher than one.

The zeta function was impressed, but unconcerned. It knew damn well there was still no spell in this new domain which could possibly defeat it. "Nice try, but I'm not scared of some imaginary unit” it claimed. 

“I'm aware,” claimed Reimann. He raised his hands again, his mana swelling, and the zeta function frowned. “But you're mistaken if you think this is the end.”

Reimann looked at the Legendary Boss in front of him, and cast the following, powerful incantation, with the help of the runes described below. 

"Domain Expansion; Analytic Continuation"

To truly defeat the zeta function, one must understand the concept of an analytic continuation. This is where I falter, for I myself don’t understand what the fuck that is. However, what I've been able to gather is that the function 

𝜂(s) / (1 - 2/2ˆs) where 𝜂(s) = 1/1ˆs - 1/2ˆs + 1/3ˆs - …

is equal to the zeta function in the zeta function's domain, but is also defined outside of it. In particular, it's defined for any complex number with a positive real component, except for the points where

1 - 2/2ˆs = 0

(can't be dividing by zero after all!). That last thing excludes 1, for example.

Basically, think of the spell "Domain Expansion; Analytical Continuation” as a shapeshifting spell that transforms the zeta function from the previous definition:

ζ(s) = 1 + 1/2ˆs + 1/3ˆs + … for s complex numbers with a real component higher than 1.

to now being defined as:

ζ(s) = 𝜂(s) / (1 - 2/2ˆs) for the previously described new domain.

That way, its domain is expanded to include complex numbers with a real component between 0 and 1, aside from those where 2/2ˆs = 1.

But of course, Reimann wouldn't be satisfied with that. The next spell was simpler, but worthwhile nonetheless. 

"Domain Expansion; Limiting Singularity Removal"

See, turns out, all the points "z” where the analytic continuation was undefined, other than 1, where removable singularities (I think? I don't actually know much about complex functions :v), which means the spell "limit when s tends to z” returns a finite number l. That way, you can define ζ(z) = l for all of these removable singularities, expanding the domain of the zeta function to all complex numbers with a positive real component, other than 1.

Don't worry if you don’t know what a limit is or you didn't follow this part, it's not too important for this. After all, that last spell didn't worry the zeta function. What had truly taken it aback was the analytic continuation, which suddenly exposed a few weak spots of the zeta function to the world. Now, Reimann could defeat it once and for all, as long as he found the right spell in the new domain. 

However, the zeta function was a Legendary Boss for a reason. "Fancy tricks, but it won't be easy to find something to actually defeat me, you know,” it bluffed, hoping intimidation would work. Foolish hope.

"Oh, certainly,” Reimann agreed readily, smiling. The zeta function was confused for a moment, until it realized something horrifying. 

Reimann's mana was swelling again. He wasn't done. And for the first time since it's run-in with Euler all those years back, the zeta function felt true fear.

“It won't just be easy,” Reimann smirked. “It will be trivial.”

"Domain Expansion; Functional Equation"

This is another point where the math is beyond me, but I'll try to explain. Basically, Reimann proved that that equality up there holds true as long as s is a complex number with a real component strictly higher than 0 and strictly lower than 1.

However, you'll notice that if you take s as a complex number with a real component equal to or lower than 0 (other than 0 itself), then the right side of the equation is actually well defined, because 1 - s is a complex number with a positive real component (and not equal to 1 unless s is exactly 0), meaning ζ(1 - s) is well defined. You also don't run into issues with any of the other factors of that equation, including the Gamma function (𝚪). What that means is that this equation can be used to extend the zeta function's domain to all complex numbers other than 0 and 1. 

Think of this domain expansion as a shapeshifting curse. If you cast a complex number with a real component strictly higher than 0 (other than 1), then the zeta function defends by turning into either the analytic continuation from before:

ζ(s) = 𝜂(s) / (1 - 2/2ˆs)

or the limit for any values where 1 - 2/2ˆs.

Meanwhile, if you cast a number s with a real component equal to or lower than 0 (other than 0 itself), then the zeta function shapeshifts to be:

ζ(s) = 2ˆs 𝜋ˆ(s-1) sin(s𝜋/2) 𝚪(1-s) ζ(1-s)

The final step is yet another Domain Expansion; Limiting Singularity Removal on 0, where ζ(0) = -½. Again not really important for us. 

In any case, Riemann had done it. Five consecutive domain expansions, so that the zeta function's domain now included all complex numbers except 1. The zeta function was on its last legs, all that was needed was the final touch. For the inexperienced, you might think finding a zero would still be difficult, but the truly expert mages among you might have already noticed the weak spot in the functional equation. 

The sine function. A Common Enemy which goes to 0 whenever it's attacked by a whole number equipped with the Legendary Tier item 𝜋. And when a complex number with a negative real component is cast against the zeta function, sin(s𝜋/2) becomes one of the factors.

"You know what this means, don't you, zeta?” Riemann asked. And the zeta function couldn't muster a response before the legendary mage cast his final spell. "You lose.”

"Simple Spell; Negative Even Integer"

-2, -4, -8, etc. Any even integer s causes s/2 to be a whole number, so sin(s𝜋/2) goes to zero. And since it's multiplying everything else, the entire zeta function goes to zero. These negative even integers are known as the zeta function's "trivial zeroes", and because there are infinite negative even integers, it can be said that the zeta function has an infinite amount of zeroes.

However, just because the Riemann zeta function had been defeated, doesn't mean Reimann was satisfied. See, Riemann noticed that there were other values which could defeat the zeta function, and weren't negative even integers. These are the zeta function's non-trivial zeroes. And he noticed that all of these zeroes followed a pattern, so he tried to cast a Prophecy Spell.

A Prophecy Spell (or a theorem, in real math terms) is one that makes it so that, when certain conditions are met, something happens without fail. To cast a Prophecy Spell, you must prove it, which means using other prophecy spells, runes and unbreakable laws (axioms) to certify that it's a valid prophecy. 

I'll give you an example in case you're not used to the concept of mathematical proof, and cast the Prophecy Spell “if b is a real number, then b0 = 0". To prove it, I'll use two axioms (these are the building blocks of mathematics, and don't need to be proven because they just Are).

1) 0 + c = c (0 is neutral to addition).

2) b(c + d) = bc + bd (Distributive Property)

Now, observe the following:

1) b(c + 0) = b(c + 0) [Trivially true.]

2) bc = bc + b0 [0's neutrality used on the left, distributive on the right]

3) 0 = b0 [Because bc = bc, you can nullify the terms]

I chose this because it happens to be the reason you can't divide by 0. Division is formally defined as multiplication with the reciprocal, so to divide by 0 you must first define its reciprocal 1/0. 1/0 would be defined as a number such that 0 x 1/0 = 1. But we just proved there's no real (or complex) number for which that can be true, so 1/0 isn't a number, thus is undefined.

In any case, now you know what's needed to cast a Prophecy Spell. However, Riemann couldn't finish the Prophecy spell about the non-trivial zeroes. He couldn't find proof or a counterexample to refute it. And so, his unfinished Prophecy Spell went down in history… as the Riemann Hypothesis.

“All non-trivial zeroes of the Riemann zeta function have a real component of exactly ½.”

Although it's been proven to hold true for trillions of non-trivial zeroes, it has never been properly proven or refuted, so the Riemann Hypothesis remains… unsolved. 

God that was nerdy and cringy as hell. It was also super fun to write so I don't care :D 

*Look, for the purpose of the post, I'm saying Riemann did all this shit and is the first one to find a value for which the zeta function becomes zero. This is likely not historically accurate. I'm just doing it so the explanation flows better. This should only be taken as an explanation of the function itself, and not the history behind it.

[the-voldsoy]

Alrighty it is almost the end of the year so, in no particular order, here are podcasts I recommend of the ones I've listened to this year! (let me tell you picking favourites for this was So hard) (Unfortunately I can't just do all of them because there are almost 50)

Hello From The Hallowoods: The world ended, but we're still here, and shit's weird. (Has made me cry; even the trees are queer; my comfort show<3)

Camp Here And There: Good morning campers! The time is 7:63AM and Cabin Magpie Moth has spontaneously combusted! Whichever one of you little woodworms can put it out first can come get a puffy sticker from me in the Nurses Cabin! (Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? I don't know, you'd have to check to be sure)

Wooden Overcoats: Funn Funerals used to be the only funeral parlor on the island. It isn't anymore. (Sitcom, the main characters are the most miserable wet cats you ever did see)

Re: Dracula: Maybe this year, they'll be okay. Maybe this year they'll all live. Maybe this year he won't go, and she'll be alright.

Magnus Protocol: TMA's louder, bolder, less serious younger sibling.

The Silt Verses: Oh boy. Let me tell you, you will look at crabs differently after this. (WET horror, genuinely the best pod I've ever heard)

Archive 81: Dan, a newly hired archivist, has to listen to and catalogue a set of old audio tapes. The tapes contain interviews conducted by someone Dan has never heard of. Dan is in an isolated bunker in the middle of the woods. Surely nothing will happen to our dear friend Dan. (What is it with archivists and getting snatched by The Horrors? Ignore the tv show it doesn't exist)

Red Valley: Just a couple of guys with an interest in research station Red Valley, whose focus was cryonics. It's completely defunct now. I wonder what happened. (Ethics? What's that?)

Woe.Begone: Some say it's about time-travel, some say it's about keeping yourself and those close to you alive, some say it's about online safety. All can agree on one point: What the fuck why are there cowboys now

Midnight Burger: Midnight Burger is a time-travelling, dimension-spanning diner. Dunno how it works or where it's going next. We open at six! (The episodes are an hour long minimum but it's worth it. Comedy sci-fi, lighthearted fun :)

Old Gods of Appalachia: The Appalachians are spooky y'all. (The narrator's voice is so comforting in this, it feels like campfire stories)

Dreamboy: Went into this pod being told it was made by the people who made WTNV and absolutely no other information. Let me tell you I did not expect the main character to tell us that he got a hard-on in the first episode. (The most sexually explicit pod I've listened to)

The White Vault: Nice little trip to Svalbard to check on the remote research station, surely nothing will go wrong :) (Holy Fucking Shit What Is That) (Recommend 1st season especially to The Thing (1982) enjoyers)

Camlann: Ever wished that you were apart of Welsh folklore or Arthurian legends? Or perhaps some of the last people left on Earth? No? Ah well, you'll pick it up soon enough. (Three idiots and a dog in Wales, fighting for their lives)

Breaker Whiskey: Imagine. Being the only person on earth. Just you. Just you, and someone on the radio. Just you, the radio, and a woman you absolutely do NOT have sexual tension with. (This one looks really long because it has 260+ episodes, but they're like 4 minutes long each so it's not really)

Ethics Town: Don't worry about it. (Cannot recommend enough, it is a mindfuck)

Tell No Tales: What if ghosts were a thing that could infest a place, like rats or roaches or mold? What if it was your job to exterminate them? And the million-pound question, do ghosts deserve rights? (I am waiting so so patiently for the rest of s2)

Remnants: You wake up in a place you recognise. You have always been there. You have no idea where you are. You see a stranger's life. You recognise them. You knew them once, you think. Discard or reshelve? You don't know what that means. It does not matter. Discard or reshelve, that is the question. (I am going insane over this pod)

Not Quite Dead: Vampires! Alfie is an overworked A&E nurse who does not have time for this shit. Unfortunately, he does not have a choice in this matter. (A really interesting take on vampirism, going into the biology. It is fascinating, and an exciting story)

Travelling Light: Space Quaker! Listen to the Traveller tell you about every new planet and civilisation they visit. Whattttt noooo they don't have a crush on one of their crew members what are you taaaalking abouttttt (Very comforting pod, beauty in the mundane in a way? But not mundane because yk. Aliens)

Someone Just Like You: Brilliant horror, just really well written. I don't even have words for it. So far there are only 6 episodes and the concepts/plots of each seem cheesy, but my GOD the execution.

The Bright Sessions: People with powers get therapy! Thank God, they need it so bad. (I love one particular antagonist so much, I need to put him in a microwave)

Poe: Evermore: It wasn't until I started this that I realised that Edgar Allen Poe would have had a Boston-ish accent. Reallyyy interesting story of his life, and I keep getting jumpscared by VAs I recognise. Faulkner Silt Verses what are you doing here.

Witherburn After School News: Your school radio host getting WAY more involved in the news than they should. Really hope they're still breathing. Love the folklore section though!

Before The Tone: Voicemails from someone who just got a job they probably shouldn't have. (Brilliant idea for the format, and great execution)

I Am In Eskew: What if you were trapped? What if you had a home, a wife and a child? What if they aren't real? Are you sure? Go and check. What if your city tried to kill you? What if it loved you very much, more than anyone else? (Horror but the narrator is the saddest wettest man you've ever heard)

Sherlock & Co: Modern day Sherlock Holmes, and John Watson is a true crime podcaster. Dear God I did not think it would be as compelling as it is.

[rabbitindisguise]

Idk if this will be helpful to anyone but a list of techniques I would use:

Confine the multipronoun character to one paragraph, and change paragraphs when another character speaks/is described/does something, noting the new character's name before switching to pronouns

Avoid dialogue tags altogether and focus on making the dialogue more obvious with heavy characterization and solid structure that makes who's speaking clear. Then later on you can sprinkle in some dialogue tags as looks appropriate once the reader grasps the character well enough to know what they would say in a certain situation

Use at least one neopronoun or singular they and use it in situations where the other character has the same pronoun but using names is way too clumsy

Probably don't switch within the same sentence (or don't make a habit of it). Unless you're committed to creating a multi pronoun user's dream come true narrative, it's difficult to follow because instinctively you're thinking "oh this is a new character." Much easier to describe them doing verb and then character continuing that verb with a different pronoun in the following sentence

Don't draw attention to it if you're not aiming to do that, it'll look sloppy instead of authentic to life. I've seen some authors make a big point of clashingly putting pronouns together and it's just not natural. Especially when other characters are speaking about them- even if someone is super good with using them equally, they often talk using one pronoun for one conversation/one day/etc and definitely at least for one sentence. But the MOST important thing about this is that people don't usually use pronouns for someone in front of them. So making a bunch of excuses for someone to refer to someone as if they're not there looks weird. Which could be the vibe you're going for- maybe you're writing a piece about gender and want it to smack you right in the face every sentence. But if you're trying to make it blend into the background it will not help to make a point of putting two different pronouns in the same sentence/same paragraph/same interaction with other characters.

Have pronouns that make sense to you. It can be difficult to juggle atypical neopronouns for you at the same time as trying to do multi pronouns for the character. Typing "him" instead of "his" on accident for example makes it even harder to read, and multi pronouns are already hard enough to read as it is (<- should not be smug about this, but is, because he don't have multiple pronouns because it's easy)

Context!!! This one is the most obvious but it really helps.

You can loosen up the further into the narrative you are because they'll be able to guess based on how the character is behaving and characterization.

Example:

Carin tapped his foot irately, becoming the human personification of anxiety. The clock said they were ten minutes late, and the time on his phone said twenty. If they didn't show up soon he was just going to-

The bell chimed and they stepped into the room, telescoping the umbrella with a SNAP! that could barely be heard over the chatter in the coffee shop. The noise didn't abate at all when they entered and the bell chimed again as the door fell shut.

"It's about damn time," he said. Worry creased his brow.

They looked like they were going to apologize and thought better of it. "I don't see what the rush is."

She rolled her eyes. "I told you, we have a deadline."

"So you've said. Like five times." They sounded more amused than stressed now that they were in the shop and out of the rain. The umbrella folded up into a little tube, one of those tiny ones you could get at target. They flagged down the barista.

He groaned. "Do we really have time for coffee?"

"Hi! I'll have a latte, and xie will have an cappuccino."

The barista looked at xir warily, but shrugged xir off. She looked a bit stressed herself since the place was packed with people trying to escape the downpour. Okay, a lot stressed. But the thought of that was making xim feel bad so xie tried not to think about it. [Alternatively: The barista looked at her warily, but shrugged her off. She looked a bit stressed herself since the place was packed with people trying to escape the downpour. Okay, a lot stressed. But thinking about the barista's situation was making her feel bad so she tried not to think about it.]

"Will that be for here or to go?"

"To go. Thanks."

The sound of change made her eyebrow twitch.

"You didn't have to-"

"You looked like you could use a coffee. Now. The deadline?" They asked, leaning their hip against the counter near the WAIT HERE FOR YOUR COFFEE :) sign.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

ok i brought this up in a discord server already but i'm gonna ask this here as well for maximum coverage

when writing characters who use multiple pronouns, what's the best way to avoid confusion?

no i'm not making this a poll as the answers are bound to be a lot more nuanced than a multiple choice question can do justice lmao

[pseudowho]

Random question, during any of your pregnancy’s were you ever insecure about you body, how you were acting, or any of your cravings?

Me and my fiancé were talking about plans for future kids and i’m to scared to ask anyone else. could you give me a small run through of things to expect?

Thank you so much!!

Hey! I'll answer this both as a woman who has done pregnancy and birth three times, and as an experienced midwife. I don't like the 'horror story' sharing that many women do around pregnancy; it muddies the waters, and is supremely anxiety-inducing for anyone who is pregnant while hearing it.

You need to know I could write, and have written, essays on this.

As a midwife: Pregnancy is this period of unique physiological change in your body and mind, that even when it is normal (i.e. normal symptoms, not a sign of an unwell pregnancy) can be profound and lifelong.

These normal symptoms, including but not limited to nausea and vomiting (commonly referred to as morning sickness, though present at any time of day), weight gain, swelling, congestion, mood changes, appetite changes, stretch marks, heartburn and hip/joint pain, can range from barely present/absent, to severe.

Even severe pregnancy symptoms aren't always considered abnormal unless they're making you unwell (i.e. unable to keep any food or water down).

These symptoms can be altered by many of your pre-existing conditions; your weight and general health, your lifestyle and eating habits, your exercise habits, simple dumb luck/genetics, family history, mental health and body image/dysmorphia, etc.

So in that respect, in a normal pregnancy, I have seen some women who are extremely insecure and struggling to cope with the changes to their body and mind, and some women who absolutely breeze through it like pregnancy hasn't even affected them. Nowhere on this spectrum does it ever surprise me.

So now I'll talk about the average first pregnancy. As I said...the experience varies wildly.

Early on in your pregnancy (up to about 12 weeks) often feels like you're in an utter no-man's land. You feel like healthcare professionals aren't wildly interested in you; they'll take your history and 'book' your pregnancy in from (now this is based on the UK) about 8 weeks pregnancy (please note, your 'weeks of pregnancy' aren't calculated from the moment you fall pregnant, it is calculated from the first day of your last period, so in a woman with a regular 28-30 day cycle, there usually feels like there's a 'disparity' of about 2 weeks in your dates-- there isn't, this is how we calculate it). You may have an early scan or two. Essentially, we wait to see if the pregnancy is continuing; lots of miscarriages happen in the first 8 weeks. About 1/3 of pregnancies will miscarry here, in fact.

Tiredness is real at this stage. You may feel like you want to sleep constantly. It's shit that at this stage you often feel the worst, but feel like you're also just being expected to 'get on with it'. Please ask for help. If your partner isn't an equal partner pre-pregnancy, best of luck to you. You may feel utterly useless sometimes days from exhaustion, and this is normal I'm afraid.

Mid pregnancy drags, but you're usually starting to feel a bit better. The top of your uterus doesn't even begin to rise out of your pelvic brim until about 16 weeks, and the lower part of the uterus only begins to expand and form (creating that 'pregnant' belly look) from about 28 weeks, so don't try to force a bo that simply isn't there. Lots of women are very keen to look pregnant. Just chill. It's okay if you dont. Take it easy. You do not need to eat for two; your pregnancy uses your intake more effectively when you're pregnant. Do take pregnancy specific multivitamins though. They don't need to be expensive or fancy ones; normal store bought are generally just the same, without all the fancy packaging.

Later pregnancy, you will likely notice that tiredness creeping in again. This is where your baby is largely formed structurally, and is maturing and gaining size and weight. Please ignore any and all comments from people who look at you and announce that you will have a big/small baby. They're idiots and likely wrong. Laugh it off. Here is where you may start to notice things like heartburn, hip pain, mood changes coming back again. You're heavy, and it's harder to move, and your organs are moving out of the way to facilitate a baby. Cut yourself some slack if at all possible.

So...now to me and what I had.

As Haitch: (tw/cw: suicidal ideations) So it's now a running joke, that my body was so 'good' at pregnancy, so utterly flooded with hormones, that while I became this perfect machine for growing and birthing babies, pregnancy broke me.

I spent every waking minute of the first 16 weeks nauseous and exhausted, bone deep exhausted. I had all the usual symptoms hit hard and early! I suffered severe pelvic separation, agonising pain, and @mrhaitch had to help me up from an early stage.

Thankfully, he was exquisite pregnancy support. Full is based on him, after all.

I ended up on some pretty strong medication for my heartburn, as it was severe enough that my stomach acid was damaging my vocal chords.

Worst of all was my mental health. From 26-28 weeks, your progesterone levels boom. This is normal. But this is where we discovered that progesterone is a very bad hormone for me. I developed severe antenatal depression and anxiety, and antenatal psychosis. I was paranoid, delusional, fragile and had active suicidal ideations. I had plans on how I would end my life. This is all utterly unlike me.

With my first pregnancy, our son was born at 42 weeks after a fast, normal labour, but I don't know how I didn't end my own life towards the end of my pregnancy. With my second two, we were more on it, and my lovely colleagues induced my labours from 38 weeks, purely because my mental health was so bad.

I was watched like a hawk in pregnancy 3. We knew I would lose my mind...and sadly, I did. I was medicated but It did little to help. It was at that point (October/November 2024) that I began writing on Tumblr...and here I am.

So as I have said...lots of things you could expect.

To this day in my 13 year Midwifery career, I have seen fewer than 10 women whose mental health was affected as badly my pregnancy as mine was.

Phew. If you have any more specific questions, I would be happy to answer.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[cherryssodapop]

Billy Hargrove astrology chart analysis

Though I could be wrong about the time, the aspects are pretty much the closest I’m gonna get (Unless somehow Dacre or the Duffers have released the information of Billy’s birth time and I just don’t know. I punched in 'March 29, 1967 11:06 AM San Diego USA' my fellow astrology baddies do what you will with this information Either way the main planets SHOULD stay the same but his houses might be different BUT we’re proceeding with what we have!).

Now, mind you I haven't done this in a while, I'm SUPERRR outta practice so to my fellow astrology baddies if I miss anything I'm so sorry 😭.

Alr lets get into it, same as the readings I did for Dallas and Darry I'm gonna go by planet and house and basically explain what it all means.

Sun in Aries (in 10th house) - okay so this is so interesting because even prior to me calculating his chart, I always knew Billy was some sort of fire sign, I mean, LOOK AT HIM??? Like HE'S a fiery little cracker (hahaha cracker... I'm sorry im jk I love u B).

But anyways the sun in 10th house is really interesting, I found a post on here that really explained in depth that aspect and how it affects the natal person (Post here) Basically, people with this placement crave recognition, they stand out with confidence and charisma that often draws attention towards them without fail (we see this the second he arrives at Hawkins, he draws attention towards himself immediately). They naturally gravitate toward leadership roles, even if they didn't ask for it (everyone gravitated towards him and put him on the pedestal of being the "King" and dethroning Steve from the social hierarchy). Their drive for validation stems from fragile self-esteem, leading to feelings of underappreciation despite their efforts. Failures can be deeply personal, like they take failure personally and it affects them greatly, but their ambition and resilience pushes them to rise again, embracing challenges as part of the path to success (started working full time the second he graduated so he could work towards leaving his abusive father).

But back to his sun though, Aries is so interesting because that's so accurate???? Like he's intense, he's passionate. He's very straight forward and will say what he has to say with his chest. People tend to follow him around where he goes, Aries are leaders. They can be spontaneous and impulsive. Stubborn but also a bit reckless. These people are your typical "act before think" people, but like who doesn't love a little chaos 🤪. They're ruled under Mars so this sign is all about action and getting shit done. They'll talk their shit and rock your shit, so messing with them isn't really a good idea. But if an Aries likes you they can be a lot of fun. They're very energetic and active people. You'll be anything but bored with them.

now onto his cutesy little moon

scorpio moons are have my heart because they're so sensitive and emotional, that often it's overwhelming even for them let alone an outside person.

People with Scorpio moons often have traumatic childhoods especially his being in 5th house, so probably exposed to big dramatic fights, or the conflict or circumstances were very grand and outrageous (bro kinda witnessed his mom get beaten by Neil and in turn gets beat himself now that he's older). At the same time these are very strong and enduring individuals. Because they tend to always think about the worst possible scenario, have a very cynical and distrusting view on the world. But at the same time, let's not forget, they are water signs, so that sensitivity will always be there, deep down this sign is scared of being alone. There will always be a part of them that will crave intimacy, like true, deep, raw (lol) intimacy. However because of this deep desire, these people can also often be a little.... delulu per say. Like obviously once you've lost a scorpio moons respect they will immediately cut you out like literally, they will treat you like your dead. But Scorpio being the sister sign of Taurus and being a fixed sign, it would take a lot for a scorpio moon to leave like they will put up with A LOT, which is why they often can get taken advantage of in relationships (:/// ). So yea scorpio moons need to be protected and wrapped up in a blanket with some hot coco and be kissed on the forehead.

Moving onto his Mercury (smiles in mercurian dominant myself)

I find this so interesting because on one hand pisces mercurials can be really wise and intelligent (being the last and oldest of the zodiac), these people can have an "old soul" type of mentality so I can totally see them being into topics like philosophy, spirituality, creative arts, anything to really boost their imagination. his 9th house boosts this even more since 9th falls under sagittarius which is all about philosophy and teaching. Because of this, often people with this placement are really good writers. (so I totally agree with the head cannon of Billy secretly writing poetry, and being good at playing games like dnd).

This placement often gets mislabeled as "dumb" or "ditsy" but they're not stupid they just process information slower than most people.

These people are also really good liars. Like they're some manipulative lil bitches (we saw how he lied to mrs. wheeler that he was worried about Max when he was actually raging mad.) They'll lie about almost anything. Sometimes they do it to keep peace around people and avoid conflict and to get people to leave them alone. But yea this placement certainly has a silver tongue innit, helps them get away with stuff but it also means they're really good at rizzing people with their words; speaking of...

our boy over here has a Taurus Venus. like first of all, this comes with so many pluses because Venus is right where it belongs. Taurus is ruled by Venus so this planet is right in its home sign. So my boy is a romantic lil bachelor 😜. Now his mars kind of makes him a fuckboy (most scorpio and sagittarius mars' are but the difference is is that sags often can't tell the difference between love and lust so they just pursue the person anyway whereas scorpio mars' are just horny fucks with strong game) BUT once he finds someone he wants to be in a relationship with, ouuuu girl he's such a gem.

Taurus Venus's value things like stability, security and comfort. He will very much pamper you. He'd give you the best he humanly possibly could. Taurus's are all about luxury and savouring the physical pleasures of life. He WILL be super affectionate, gifting you things, always touching you right, buying you or cooking you your favourite foods. Taurus's like routine so he will memorize your schedules and routines, coffee orders and all those small things. Although Billy would typically be impatient, he'd take his time pursuing you. Especially with his Scorpio Mars, he'd come in strong and steady .I don't wanna say like a predator stalking his prey cause that's more Scorpio Venus but bro definitely wouldn't back down easy. He won't mind playing the long game if he thinks you're worth it. The main thing here with this placement is their ACTIONS say a lot about their feelings towards their s/o. His Pisces Mercury will soothe you with sweet words, but his Taurus Venus will show you with his generosity and sensualness. He definitely knows how to make his girl happy and will stay loyal for a long time if he's certain about her.

Billy has so many aspects that indicate strong sex appeal and attractiveness, like it's written all over his chart lmfaoo his Venus trines his Pluto, His Venus also sextiles his ascendant.

His eros also trines his mars so he has a very passionate and intense drive, especially in the bedroom. No matter what you are to him, sex with him will always be intense. There's nothing soft about the way he engages in intimacy.

Billy has a cancer rising, for those of you that don't know your rising is in charge of your looks and people's first impressions of you. So cancer risings often have rounder faces, softer features and big eyes (I mean look at him bro, he's so baby girl). They also have curvier bodies (have you seen this man's thighs) shorter limbs too. Cancer rules over the chest so cancer risings can have large chests or big boobs ( he certainly has boobs). Also cancer risings are very pursued after, almost as much as scorpio risings but the difference is that Scorpios are very intimidating so often people don't wanna get past the sexualness of it. But with cancers, people simp over them emotionally too because cancer is considered as the "divine feminine" or "mother" in astrology, so basically people wanna wife them up as well as fuck them (literally his entire fandom). But yeah, anyway, Billy is a pretty boy we all know this, even his chart does 😭.

Alright now more about his mars-

Its in the 4th house, which is also another indication of his abusive childhood :/

His is in Scorpio and yes he's a kinky little shit and a great lover in the bedroom, however that's not all that Mars represents in a natal chart. It also represents how a person takes action to something. How they pursue and how they behave and manage their more aggressive and angry side. On one hand, Billy has the potential to be very good at achieving what he wants in life. He's capable of having a really strong mental fortress as scorpio is a very driven and determined sign. Tactical and calculated but also very loyal people. However at the same time, it makes them lowkey control freaks. They're the type of people to always want the last word in an argument and to have control over everything and everyone in almost every situation (though it does make them strategic leaders at the same time, it's kind of annoying). But yeah these people stand on business they will fuck your shit up if necessary because this planet is also in it's home sign, but Scorpio is also ruled by Pluto so it's the darker one of the mars ruled signs. So their anger can be very explosive and dangerous (we saw how he beat Steve to a bloody pulp), so don't piss them off, it takes a lot for them to loose their cool but once they've lost it, it's gone and not coming back.

Last thing I'll talk about is potential career placements he has because we never got to see him thrive and flourish in life because the duffers hate to give us nice things so I'll just tell you what it could've been with his chart

10 house/ MC in Pisces

So this is so cute because this means that he could actually be successful with a writing career, as this placement flourishes in creative careers. So these people are often musicians, actors, writers. They can also be philosophers, and teachers/mentors of some kind (he taught the kids at the Hawkins community pool how to swim). He'd be such an influencer 😝 I can totally see him being a model for Calvin Klein because he's literally built like a model (this is so possible with his 11th house in Taurus) As well as Leo in his second house, he'd live a very lavish lifestyle if financially stable and would really thrive in a position where he shines in his own spotlight.

Anywayssss that's everything for now, if there's anything else in his chart you guys want me to talk about don't be afraid to inbox me.

I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing this <3

[vengefultakeover]

Sketch & Rein

My drafting table had a screw missing from the hinge that propped it up at the perfect angle. I had made it a habit not to draw with my face so close to the page so that I would inhale the graphite that dusted the surface of the paper, but now the top wobbled as the tip of my pencil drifted along my drawing and my straight line zigged. The model I was drawing was curvaceous, a close representation of the model that commissioned me a dress for a gala event that she would be attending with her husband. Our first meeting consisted of her showing me a wonderful selection of dresses that her eye had been drawn to and I used them as the pool for my inspiration.

"I want all of this to be accentuated." She said, referencing her figure. I loved her confidence, something I wish I had. She had every right to be confident, she was beautiful. The preliminary sketches I rendered were sent over and she loved all of the colorful works of art, which narrowed down very little for me, but I knew exactly what she would love despite it. The tip of my pencil reached the hemline and the table top creaked followed by an aggressive thunk that made the graphite snap.

"What the - " I closed my eyes, calmly reached for my inkwell pencil sharpener and listened to the blade shave off the wood to a point inside the red glass container. I abandoned the pencil in the cup hanging blissfully next to the table and ducked under it to find the source of my problem. My fingers slid over the metal pieces until I found an empty hole, one that, if filled, would have stabilized the desk. As my finger ran over it, my doorbell rang and I hit the back of my head with an angry huff. Quickly, I pulled a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer and placed it on the sore spot, opening the door to greet the stranger.

"Hey, are you Mike?" He asked, a bag slung over his shoulder, "I had called the other day about the extra room and we were supposed to meet today."

"Shit, I'm so sorry I completely forgot. You are - ?" I invited him in, adjusting the bag on my head before abandoning it on the table by the door.

"I'm Rein. Are you okay? That looks like it hurt." He chuckled.

"Oh yeah, just a bump. Want to check out the place?" I pointed towards the rest of the apartment and gave him a tour. "This is the kitchen, well stocked with vegetable ice packs, and this is the living room." I spun on my heels as I extended my arms to present the room like it was a Price is Right prize. "There are technically three bedrooms, but I use the downstairs as a studio. The other two are upstairs."

"Oh wow, three stories? This looks great," He peeked down the stairs into my studio, "When would I be able to move in? I'm looking for a place since I'll be starting school soon."

"School? Are you an undergrad?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm going to grad school. I'm going in for Architecture." He chuckled.

"That's awesome, I just got here for grad too. Fashion design." I sunk down into a chair in the living room, "I'll have to do whatever paperwork, but if you wanted to move in soon I'm sure it would be fine. The bedroom upstairs is ready whenever you’d like it."

"Oh? That's amazing. Yeah, I'd love to move in by the weekend. I want a couple of days to settle down. Maybe even get to know my cute roommate." He laughed. Did he really just say that? My cheeks flushed red and I suddenly felt warm all over.

“Oh, well, you're welcome to it. I'll email the landlord and just let them know I found the roommate and they'll send over the paperwork as soon as they decide to I guess. Move-in season is always really busy." I shrugged, face still warm from the cute roommate comment. He looked over the apartment again before heading to the door.

"I'll be over tomorrow to move in what I've got. It's just a couple of boxes and a bed. Nothing crazy." He stood in the doorway and I nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." He winked and then disappeared out into the parking lot. I returned to my studio and as I walked in I felt something hard dig into the heel of my foot. I stumbled over it, avoiding any more pain of my weight stepping on the missing loose screw that would stabilize my desktop.

"This is the last of it." Rein let the mattress plop onto the ground of the second bedroom and I dusted myself off. I had offered to help him unload his car, which went much faster than I had anticipated.

"I'll leave you to it. I have to take care of some final bits of this job." I pointed in the general direction I was headed and he nodded.

"Thanks for the help."

"No problem. I'll be downstairs." On my way out I knocked my shoulder against the doorframe and I put my head down in embarrassment, quickly rushing away to my studio.

The design I was working on only needed a couple more details. A full ensemble of pieces and accessories were important and I wanted to make sure that this was a look and not just any regular gala dress. I capped the last marker, finishing the sketch and tossing all of my drawing tools into the bin they were stored in. Quickly looking back at the door to make sure Rein was still upstairs, I heard a distant thud of something being dropped. Deciding that he was far enough away to not disturb me, I picked up the sketch and stood in the center of the room. With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and felt my lungs fill with crisp air. With the sketch in one hand, I took my other hand and pushed my fingers into the page. Instead of the ripping or the paper folding like one might suspect, my glowing hands sunk into the sketch as though it were a vertical pool of water and after getting a good grip I pulled out the bodice of the dress. I let the paper fall, and it dropped with a thud as the gown flourished out of the page. The seams were crisp and the details were immaculate as the remaining sunlight of the day caught the diamond embellishments and made them sparkle. Looking down at the page, the sketch remained intact except the color was a little bit tinted. I rolled a dress form out from the corner and put it on it to get a good look. The matching bag and shoes were next, easily plucked out of the pages they were drawn on.

"Wow. That was one incredible magic trick." I fell over, hitting my head on my stool this time instead of the now-fixed desk which made me growl as I pushed my hand against the new sore spot. The purse and heels hit the ground a few feet away with another clunk.

"Fuck. I should have been more careful." I applied pressure to the bump and winced.

"What do you mean? That was awesome." Rein came to help me up off the ground and as he helped me up I realized he was surprisingly warm.

"I don't really tell people about my quirk. It's easy to hide, but people still act weird around people with them." I went to pick up the heels and purse and I set them down on my cutting table. One of the buckles on the shoe seemed to have been knocked out of place. I looked Rein up and down and at this point didn't care too much if he saw me do it again. I bent down, reached inside the sketch and pulled out a duplicate pair of heels with the buckle perfectly attached.

"That's a bit wasteful. Don't you think?" He chuckles. I squint at him, not particularly enjoying his playful jabs as the thought of exposure meant I might need to go to a different school. I shook my head, rolled my eyes, and tossed the initial pair of heels back towards the sketch and they exploded into a cloud of color before being sucked back into the page.

"I really need you not to tell anyone." I crossed my arms and leaned against the table.

"Tell anyone? I would never out you like that. Should I tell you my quirk to make it even?" I stared at his smirk for a moment, watching his smug face with a look of shock on my own.

"You have a quirk?" I ask.

"It's easy for me to hide too, but we're going to have to go somewhere else for me to show you. It requires another individual." He shrugs and turns down the hall, heading upstairs.

"So what exactly is it?" I pushed my hands into my pockets as I follow him inside the gas station. The door chime went off throughout the store and he scanned the aisles for people, but it was relatively dead. The cashier was an older gentleman, and looked like he was about to turn to dust if someone talked to him.

"Mmm, that." A bright yellow sportscar revved its engine as it pulled in front of a pump. A hulking man stepped out of it, making the transaction as he filled his car up with gas. I followed Rein out as he walked over to the car, looking up to check for cameras. Only one was pointed in his direction, but it looked broken. He snuck around the car, approaching the stranger from behind and then slipped into him. Rein was nowhere to be found, but the man took a deep breath in, face turning pink before he turned to me and relaxed his shoulders. He smiled, pushed down his shorts to show off his ass and continued pumping gas.

"What the - " Before I could finish, the pump thunked and this man continued to finish up at the pump with his shorts down. He closed up the gas tank with a double click of the cap and then turned towards me with a smile.

"So? What do you think? We even?" He pulled his shorts up and then leaned against the car with that same smug look on his face that Rein was wearing earlier. To be honest, I felt a bit of a rush as he looked at me.

"I don't know what to say. That's impressive." I crossed my arms, nodding at him.

"I should give him back, though. I've made my point." He winked at me, turned towards the gas tank and then Rein slipped out of his back. The muscled hunk twitched and shook his head before getting into his car and driving off with a full tank of gas.

"I think we're even." I looked at him and his eyes sparkled a bit as he smiled in my direction.

"We should go out. I think we could have some fun together." Rein spun around on my stool in the studio as I finished up the dress. One of the nice things about my quirk is I could make the materials needed for any missing pieces and last minute details. This made the fabric store useless unless I wanted inspiration. It meant I got to avoid the judgmental quilters and home-sewers who felt they were the pinnacle of fashion in their book clubs and sewing circles. It also means that everything that comes from my sketches was an original.

"I need to finish this." I said, doodling a needle and a spool of thread, filling in the color with a marker and then picking it up off the page.

"Does your quirk have any limits? Like can you draw anything and make it real?" Rein leaned towards me as I stitched the hem and made sure the seams were reinforced.

"I haven't really tried. I don't normally use it for anything other than small things like this. I know that I can't like draw books and have their pages filled with the story I'm thinking of, it normally just comes out blank." I picked a pin out of the fabric and stabbed it into my wrist pin cushion.

"What about money?"

"Everyone always asks me that, but, ow fuck," pushing the needle through the fibers, I felt the sharp end pierce my finger and I looked up at him. "I can make money, but sometimes it can read as fake. Not always though." I sucked my finger, the taste of iron swirling around in my mouth.

"That's awesome. Do you get tired?" He crossed his legs next to me as I finished up the last few stitches. "I only ask because sometimes if I'm inside if someone for a really long time I have to regain all that energy I spent."

"I haven't really, but I also haven't tried anything that might make me tired." I shrugged.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, like a person?" I started putting away my tools, adding the ones I wanted to keep and then crushing the other in my hand as they turned into particles of color and slipped between my fingers.

"I haven't tried that, no. I did accidentally turn one of my drawings as a kid into a real thing, which terrified my parents. That was a crazy way to figure out your son had a quirk." I laughed, stepping back to look at the dress. There was a moment of silence as Rein joined me in looking at the garment I had created.

"It's beautiful." He rocks side to side in the chair.

"Thank you." I blush, looking over at him.

"So, now that your done would you like to go out?" He smiled.

"Fine, but only because I finished early." I chuckled.

The gas station light flickered as a woman approached the older gentleman at the counter and spoke in a warm clear tone, "Hi there, I hope you're having a wonderful evening. Have you seen anything out of the ordinary happening around here?" Her dress swished side to side as she leaned against the counter. The warm smile on her face was sickly sweet and the older gentleman shook his head. After getting nothing from the old man, her smile dropped and she turned away from him to look around the aisles.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" The elderly man coughed.

"I can feel it. They've been here," She sniffed the air like a bloodhound, "two of them.” She turned back to the old man with that sickly sweet grin.

"Ma'am?" His raspy voice struggled.

"I'd like to see your footage for the day," Her smile is frozen as she spoke and her eyes swirled, turning from a brown to a dark purple. The older man stands there dazed and then blankly nods.

"Yes, ma'am." He coughs.

[oqwomyo]

3rd Anniversary. Bellen's card translation.

Part 1.

 

Some time after the audience with Mr. Elboa… In the ancient forest village… We decided to take a rest.

 

- Ancient Forest Village –

 

One day… I was walking together with Belen in the village.

 

Bellen: Ancient forest… It’s a beautiful place, rich in nature.

Bellen: Maybe it’s the purity of the air… I feel like I can become healthier just by breathing.

Bellen: Master, do you think so too?

 

You: Of course, I understand you a little.

 

Then… A voice, that sounded like a sob, was heard from somewhere.

 

Ancient Forest Residents: Sob… Sob… Ugh…

 

You: Someone… is crying?

 

 

Bellen: …It looks like they are. Besides, it looks like there’s more than one person crying.

Bellen: I'm worried... Can we go and see?

 

You: Yeah.

 

Bellen: I hear voices from the other side.

 

We walked in the direction where the crying was coming from.

 

*Step step step*

If you follow the sound of the crying... You can see the villagers gathered. And in the middle... The ancient people, motionless as if sleeping, were lying in a coffin.

 

You: This is...

 

Belen: ……….

 

Aro: Ah, Bellen-san, Name-san.

Chenoa: Good afternoon.

 

You: Hello...

 

Aro: Why are you two here?

Bellen: While walking around the village, we heard a voice... We were curious, so we came to see you.

Bellen: This is... A funeral, right?

Aro: Yes... A villager died yesterday.

Aro: So now... We are burying him, returning him to the earth.

Aro: In the Western Land, when dead people are buried in the ground...

Aro: They return to the ground... And they say that they become forest spirits and watch over people.

 

You: I see...

 

The ancient people placed flowers in the coffin. The person who slept in the coffin looked very young.

 

Villager: Sob... Sob... Dad...

Bellen: Dad?

Aro: Yes... This baby is his child.

Bellen: I see... People in the ancient forest, it seems, do not know how old they are.

Aro: For us, people of the ancient forest... Physical growth stops at a certain point...

Aro: Who is an adult and who is a child... Knowing who is who can be difficult for people who come from other lands.

Now that I think about it… When I visited the Western Land with the basement butlers… Miyaji explained that the ancient people's growth stops halfway through their lives. And… Also that they don't live long.

 

Villager: Sob… Sob… Uuugh…

Bellen: ……….

Bellen: ….I want to pick flowers.

Bellen: I want to mourn him too. I don't know anything about him, but…

Bellen: When he becomes a forest spirit… I want him to continue watching over everyone.

Aro: Thank you, Bellen-san. I'm sure he'll be happy too.

Bellen: Then… Master, I'm sorry, but can I ask you to give me some time?

 

You: I'll go pick flowers with you too.

 

Bellen: No, it's okay. Master, rest here.

Bellen: I'll pick some for Master too and come back.

Bellen: Be a good child and wait for me here.

 

You: …Okay, be careful.

 

Bellen: Yes. Then I'll go.

Chenoa: Bellen-san. If there are flowers, they'll be blooming over there.

Bellen: Thank you. I'm going.

 

And Bellen left me... He went to look for flowers.

 

- A few minutes later -

 

Bellen said he'd be back soon, but... He took longer than we expected.

 

Aro: I wonder how far Bellen-san went to pick flowers?

Chenoa: Is he having trouble finding flowers?

Chenoa: I said where the flowers were… But they were probably all picked by now…

Aro: Hm~m… There were a lot of flowers in other places…

Aro: After everyone picked them all… I’m not so sure about that anymore…

 

You: I’m a little worried…

 

Chenoa: I agree… I don’t think anything happened, but…

 

You: I’ll go look for Bellen.

 

Aro: Oh, okay.

Aro: We’ll be here… If anything happens, don’t hesitate to reach for us.

Chenoa: Be careful and don’t go too far into the forest.

 

Thanks to Aro and the others… I’m going to look for Bellen.

 

*Step step step*

 

I walked into the forest in the direction Bellen was going. And soon… I found him near the bushes.

 

Bellen: ………

Part 2.

 

Bellen holds a flower in his hand… He has a bit of a gloomy expression.

 

Bellen: …….

Bellen: …..Hah.

 

You: Bellen, are you okay?

 

Bellen: Wha…

Bellen: Master, you scared me.

Bellen: Why are you here…. Did you come for me?

 

You: You haven’t returned for a long time.

 

Bellen: I see… It seems like I made you worry.

Bellen: Sorry, Master. Are you feeling lonely?

Bellen: I can’t believe it’s been so long… I was so caught up in the flowers that I didn’t notice how quickly time passed.

Bellen: Then… Let’s go back to the village together?

 

You: You sighed a while ago…

 

Bellen: Sighed..?

Bellen: Ah… Did you hear…

 

You: Something happened?

 

Bellen: Hmm~m…

Bellen: If I continue to worry Master like this… It won’t be good.

Bellen: …To be honest, seeing the funeral earlier… I remembered Mr. Goetia’s death.

Bellen: Surrounding the motionless Mr. Goetia… Everyone was crying.

Bellen: …People’s death… People are saddened when they see it…

Bellen: …I still can’t get used to it.

Bellen: Even if someone who has nothing to do with me died… My chest tightens.

 

You: So that’s it…

 

Bellen: …Oh, I’m sorry.

Bellen: I wanted you to stop worrying, but… Hearing that made you even more worried, right?

Bellen: I’m fine. Don’t worry.

 

If he doesn’t like funerals... Maybe he doesn’t have to force himself to come back. Why not just give Aro-san the flowers and go somewhere else? Having thought so, I decided to tell my thoughts to Belen.

You: If it's hard, then don't force yourself...

 

Bellen: ...No. I want to mourn properly too.

Bellen: I'll come back and give flowers.

 

You: Is that so... Okay.

 

And we... We're back for the funeral.

 *Step step step*

 

Aro: Bellen-san, Name-san. Welcome back.

Chenoa: You were so late... Did something happen?

Bellen: We're back. Sorry for making you worry.

Bellen: I wanted to pick the most beautiful flowers... I took my time choosing, and it seems like too much time has passed.

Bellen: Thanks to Master who came... I made my choice.

Aro: Heh... I can't believe you care so much about the beauty of flowers... Bellen-san, you're really kind.

Bellen: That's not true. In fact, I'm sorry for making you wait.

Bellen: If Master hadn't come... I might not have returned yet...

Bellen: Thank you for coming for me, Master.

 

You: Y-Yeah.

 

Bellen: So... Then...

Bellen: Right away... Can we lay flowers?

Chenoa: Yes. We haven't laid anything yet, so let's go together.

 

Approaching the coffin... We carefully laid the flowers.

 

Bellen: ………

Bellen: Rest in peace...

 

Bellen closes his eyes and prays silently. The way he prayed earnestly for the stranger... I felt his kindness. Like Bellen, I close my eyes... I offer my prayers straight from the heart.

 

You: (Please watch over everyone.)

 

Bellen: ……..

Bellen: …..Master...

Bellen: …….Heh...

 

And... After praying, we decided to leave the burial site.

 

- A little later -

 

After saying goodbye to Aro-san and Chenoa-san… Bellen and I were walking in the forest together.

 

Bellen: ……..

 

You: …Belen, does it still hurt?

 

Bellen: …No, everything is fine.

Bellen: …If I say that, it will only make you more worried.

Bellen: Sorry, Master. I am really fine.

 

You: Is that so…

 

Bellen: Uh-huh.

Bellen: …..

Bellen: Fufu… Master, why are you looking like that?

Bellen: You are so worried… Master is a truly kind person.

 

You: I think it is natural.

 

Bellen: That is not true.

Bellen: Getting close to another person’s heart… You pray earnestly even for a stranger.

Bellen: It is not natural… Master is a special and wonderful person.

Bellen: Because there's such a kind person by our side... I think that's what saved the hearts of all the butlers.

 

You: All the butlers..?

 

Bellen: Because... The devil butlers are hated all over the world... People say terrible things, don't they?

Bellen: No matter how much we risk our lives to save people... We'll still be despised.

Bellen: Even thinking about it... It's too painful.

Bellen: But everyone... They have Master they care about.

Bellen: Every time something happens... We have Master who worries about us and is grateful to us.

Bellen: The existence of such a person... I'm sure it's a support for everyone.

 

You: I wish it were like that...

Bellen: Fufu... Be confident, master.

Bellen: It's been a while since I met Master...

Bellen: When I'm with Master... I think I can understand what other butlers feel..

Bellen: Without realizing it... I feel like I'm starting to be drawn to such a wonderful Master.

 

You: Eh?

 

Bellen: I want to protect this person… There’s a certain charm about Master that I can’t help but think about.

Bellen: Strong and kind… Such a sweet Master.

Bellen: I’m so lucky to have met such a person.

 

You: Um… Thank you.

 

Bellen: … Fufu. Master, your face is turning red.

Bellen: Did I make you flustered?

 

After saying that… Belen gently stroked my head.

 

Bellen: There, there …

Bellen: Master really is a very sweet child.

 

You: …Are you teasing me?

 

Bellen: I would never. That’s not true.

Bellen: I’m not saying that as a joke.

Bellen: I’m glad I met you, Master… I’d be happy if we could be together forever.

Bellen: I really think so.

 

Bellen looks at me with kind eyes. I couldn’t… I looked away.

 

Bellen: …Listen, master.

 

You: What is it?

 

Bellen: Remember what I told you about the future the other day?

Bellen: After all the angels disappear… What would I like to do?

 

You: Yes, I remember.

 

Bellen: As I told you then… There are many things I would like to do.

Bellen: I want to open an orphanage, and I want to open a bar. I would also like to travel.

Bellen: And…

Belen: If Master was here… I’m sure it would be more fun.

 

You: Bellen …

Bellen: If I had said that when we first met… It would have caused you problems.

Bellen: But… I seriously think so.

Bellen: The future with master… I want to see it.

Bellen: What about you, master?

You: I...

Bellen: ....

Bellen: ...Fufu. Okay, it seems you're very confused.

Bellen: There's no need to answer now.

When Bellen said that... He gently touched my lips with his index finger.

Bellen: Confused and lost... And when you find unwavering feelings within you...

Bellen: Tell me.

Bellen: I... Will accept any answer.

You: (...Truly any answer..?)

Seeing my confused face... Bellen winks at me mischievously.

Bellen: ...Well, of course...

Bellen: In order to get the answer I desire... I'll do my best.

Bellen: From now on... Let's spend a lot of time together, Master.

Bellen strokes my head again. His gentle and sweet smile... I imagined a future with him.

[katsukikitten]

tw staking

You can feel his eyes on you, the gaze heavy, weighted with thoughts so intense it makes your stomach knot.

Curdle like milk in the heat of summer, twist and turn around and around until you're left dizzy and nauseous.

When you turn to look for those eyes, for that leadened gaze, you find nothing.

You always find nothing.

It only adds to your sickness. To the doubt and paranoia that rip up your throat in a dying scream when faced with shadows that linger in the corner of your eye.

The dead of night brings nothing but dread to you. Footsteps so faint you try to brush them off as a considerate upstairs neighbor tiptoeing in the late hours. Warm breath fanning your cheeks you swear is just the heat kicking on at an odd time even when you kept your apartment cool to save money.

The time lost on your motion activated camera at your front door was just a glitch. Surely that's all it could be and the one time you've seen a hooded man with his mask it was probably just a neighbor who was unlucky enough to have the night shift.

And that the number texting you cryptic things and paragraphs and paragraphs of why you're so beautiful with details of outfits and jewelry choices and how the mystery messenger doesn't like it when you wear another man's hoodie to bed.

It was just a wrong number, yours transposed with the original recipient you were sure of it.

Getting out of the house would be good, at least that's what your friend said, not that you told her about the messages or footsteps. Especially not about how you thought you'd seen a man in your room one night. Just at the foot of your bed, tall and thin. Looming in an almost unnatural manner that left you with goosebumps because deep down you know that gaze.

Had felt it for months now.

If you had confessed to these delusions, your friend would insist to stay the night and what if something happened to her all because you were having an episode?

Even if nothing happened, if you both slept through the night peacefully, you knew that either way you couldn't handle the truth.

You'd rather live in your dream-like state, of not knowing if your mind was breaking or if there truly was a horror stalking around your house.

That ignorant purgatory fared better than the reality that either could be true, so for now you'll go to the little drinking parties your friend invites you to.

Four, you've been to a total of four now and each time you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom part way through to relax.

That and silence your phone, for the first two parties you'd received message after message asking why you were out so late and who the fuck was that sitting next to you. It all started coming to a head so quickly.

Yet still you think being out in public may curb things if only just a bit.

Standing in the hallway that lead to the restrooms when your college crush runs into you for the second time.

“Ah, are you feeling okay?” His voice has a bit of gravel to it, tone soft and nearly monotone in the way he speaks. Starlit hair to his shoulders pulled back into a half bun and eyes sparkling like any gem.

“Ten-Tenko.” You stammer, shoving your phone in your little nezuko purse with embarrassment, for once it doesn't ring or chirp to life with question after question, it's slowed down since he's sat next to you two parties ago.

He waits patiently for a long moment, blinking slowly and standing stone still before it takes you a moment to realize he's waiting on your answer.

That he actually cares.

“I'm- I'm okay.” A lie but the truth starts to eat away at your stomach lining, starts to claw up your throat and weigh down on your tongue. Forcing your lips to move in such a manner all because this lanky man made you feel a little bit better.

Made you feel safe.

“Can you pretend to be my boyfriend and walk me home? I- I think I might have a stalk-stalker and they say that if they see another man they'll back off and I'm just a little scared and it's silly but you've been sitting next to me and making me feel safe and blocking the window and I don't feel so para- paranoid when you're around and you can say no I mean this is a weird request that I'm asking and is that statistic even a true one I'm not sure and well maybe we shouldn't you might get hurt never-” Tenko's warm palm on your shoulder cuts you off, makes you shrink as you realize your rambling.

Makes you want to melt down into your tennis shoes and never be seen again.

Stupid stupid STUPID

You chance a glance up at him, his eyes are closed and he's smiling softly. Reassurance pulling at the corners of his scarred lips making that much more handsome.

“I can walk you home and make sure you're safe. I wish you told me earlier.” He moves his hand slowly, lets his knuckles graze your throat before his fingers push hair behind your ear, “Go back to the party, I'll keep blocking the window.”

Ever obedient you return to your seat quickly, phone chirping and the message burning into your brain before you switch your phone off.

Tread lightly you have no idea what you're asking for

The night goes on without a worry, Tenko's warm body next to yours, blocking the large picture window to the street and soon you forget there was a heavy gaze on you at all. Neatly tucked into his side all on your own and he's even observant enough to know you don't handle your liquor well, he takes the shots offered to you for you and somehow you find that attractive.

That despite his boney stature he can handle something much booze and much better than you could dream of.

“It's getting late isn't it?” One of your classmates yawns while another adds, “Yea, she has to get home to her boyfriend!”

An accusatory finger pointed at you, the attention makes your stomach twist.

“What boyfriend?” Another chimes in, curious and training their attention on you as you feel you've lost your voice. Knuckles white grip on the hem of your skirt as the conversation carries on.

“Who else would be texting her so much?”

“Yes she does sneak away during class, bet it's to meet her boyfriend in the library to ‘study.’”

The room starts to spin just a bit, swallowing the bile that rises up your throat, once, twice, four times as the weighted gaze returns.

Burning into your skin like a brand forever marking you as you whimper and whine under the touch. Breath shuddering from your frame, hands and skirt blurring in your vision as you choke on the lump in your throat.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Tenko's voice grounds you, makes your head snap up to him and the look you give him is so pathetic it makes his chest hurt. Heart squeezing tightly as his ribcage caves in.

You cannot even form words, you just shake your head before his hand slips into yours to stop pinching at your skin.

“Sorry bout that. I don't mean to keep her from you guys.” Tenko’s voice carries over the teasing before gasps erupt, excited congratulations and curious questions bounce around the room only to be ignored as Tenko rises to full height before gently pulling you to your feet.

He puts on your jacket, secures your purse to your body.

“We're going to call it a night.” Bowing his head politely before he gently guides you out to the street by the small of your back. Silently asks you to lead the way as the two of you walk in the cool air in a comfortable silence.

Tenko is sure to be a barrier between traffic and yourself, his hand moving from the small of your back to between your shoulder blades and back down before he finds himself restless, following down your arm so he could link his pinkie with yours as you guide him to your apartment complex.

He's insistent he should walk you all the way to your door and you cannot say no. Whispering your apartment number to him which makes him take the lead.

“I really appreciate this.” Soft and meek, the sound makes Tenko chuckle beside you.

“It's really no problem.” Tenko stops in front of your door, notices the keypad and enters the eight digit passcode to your front door.

The keypad lights up green, the knob gives way to the weight of his hand as he eases the door open turning to face you with that soft smile.

But your pretty lips aren't curled up in your appreciative smile anymore. Instead you're making that face again. That cute one you gave him at the bar where you didn't want him to think you actually had a boyfriend, the dread and horror marring your pretty features as your mind raced a million miles a minute.

When you felt helpless, out of control of the situation.

A little like a doe in headlights or a fox stuck in a trap.

“I- I never told you the passcode.” Your voice is so small, barely audible that Tenko would call it more of a breathy whisper.

He sighs, low and long, slouching as his shoulders hunch forward, frown yanking down the corners of his lips. His once polished rubies now razor sharp. Heavy as they look over your face so intensely you look away unable to move as his pinkie squeezes yours tighter.

Long fingers gently hooking under your chin, tilting your face upwards until your eyes lock and no matter how you try you cannot look away.

Memories overlap with the present, images of that unnatural manner at the foot of your bed, of the way your stomach twists and knots, every nerve in your body burning as it begs you to move. To not freeze you for once in your life.

To run, run, RUN.

But you're locked in place, face coming closer as his nose brushes against yours, sighing again as he relaxes returning to his monotone state even as his eyes flicker with something monumental, deadly.

You feel his warm breath on the shell of your ear and suddenly you're back in your room, shivering under the blankets hoping it was all in your head.

“I would've just killed the boyfriend, by the way.” Before he leans back, putting his hands in his hoodie pocket, face impassive, tone nonchalant while he waits for you to enter the ‘sanctity’ of your home.

[ctrlhope]

Please talk about your bug boys all the time!! Any tidbits, thoughts, and, of course, their fics make me happy. I never thought I'd love bugs (scared of spiders), but i LOVE your bug boys!!

I have so many thoughts from cute to morbid about them.

PLEASE I RLLY LOVE TOOOO OMG!!!! Wait okay so below the cut i'll put in little blurbs for each of them so you can get the vibe yk?? Cause I know I havent been able to show much of them through the fics i've put out so far 😭😭 In the rest of the guys fics (save for Hoseok), they'll all be a lot more present 🥺

It makes me so happy that you love the guys as much as I do, though fr. I was never expecting Jimin's fic to receive so much love and even though you're scared I'm so happy you took the chance on reading it <333 I LOVE YOU!!!! 🥺 ALSO PLS TELL ME ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS!!! CUTE AND MORBID IDC I LOVE THEM ALL!!!!

cw. yandere behaviour, hybrid!bts, toxic behaviour, manipulation, typical stuff lol

Kim Seokjin

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ species: blue morpho butterfly

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ classification: Dependent Type » 6/10

An architype of beauty. A doll for the rich and powerful. The most sought after species in the entire exotic world. Kim Seokjin knows his place in the ecosystem of humanity well-- knows the titles given to him even better. Knows his value as no more than a monetary scale, a gorgeous pair of wings to show, a creature to fawn over. To bask in the effervescent glow of. He knows his worth. He knows what he's meant to be worth. What he should mean to every human he comes into contact with-- the gem of their collection. The world they now own. So why, why would you just abandon him after purchasing him at the latest auction house? Send him to live at the reserve after he's already decided that you have the honor of being his human, huh?

Kim Seokjin has always been the type to adjust to his reality with every new owner he has, yet he just can't stop himself from becoming fixated on you. From never wanting to leave your side-- not even for a moment. From thinking about you every waking moment you're apart. From wanting to be liked by you. From wanting to belong to you-- not as a pet, but as something so much more. You were kind when you met him, even more so when he sees you at the reserve. You show him things he never thought possible, you let him live. You treat him not as a toy, never force him to do anything, not once. You, yourself, might just be a butterfly. One with their wings clipped. Seokjin has always hated collars. The stupid, diamond encrusted things his past owners forced on him as a show of wealth. But you... with you he wonders hopes that someday you might just don him with the same. Maybe he can put one on you, too.

Min Yoongi

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ species: fat-tail scorpion

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ classification: Obsessive Type » 2/10

Min Yoongi never thought himself to be much in the world. His mother made sure he knew that ever since he was young. A scorpion is nothing to be proud of. Nothing to shine light on. Nothing that could ever make the world happy in some sort of meaningful way. They are creatures of destruction-- bred for a bid of power. To be used in wars for their poison. To instill fear deep in ones bones from a single glance. So how come, exactly, were you never scared of him? Why did you always seem so light, so happy around the terrible, brooding man? Why did you live with your head in the clouds? Why were you still friends with him even after you knew what he was? What he could do? After the way others looked at you, judged you for even being around him? All questions Yoongi asked, yet never thought to ever find the answers to. Never thought to let himself agree with the simplest conclusion of. Yoongi's entire life he's pushed away the obvious, even more so with his hybrid side. Never letting his true thoughts be heard, nor his wildest whims carried. It's no wonder he's such a stranger from his own feelings, his own instincts. But once you finally accept him... it's unfortunate how quickly it all goes out the window. His restraint lost, his hybrid side taking up much more space than it ever did before. You're all he can think about. All he wants to be around. All he can ever hope to love and exist as in the world. He sees you in everything-- he thinks. And though he tries desperately to hold it back, because of how long he's tried to hold back his feelings, his obsession is only getting worse. Thankfully his new friend Namjoon is ready to help him navigate all of these new emotions bubbling up inside.

** though during his actual fic he doesn't really appear yandere, the further along into his relationship with you, the worse he becomes. Probably maxing out at a 4/10-5/10.

Jung Hoseok

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ species: warrior wasp

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ classification: Sadistic Type » 8/10

Hoseok has always lived his life exactly the way he desires. Spending his days flying around the rainforest, taking what he pleases from others, playing tricks on those below him. Coming home to his nest with his siblings, living without regard or care for anyone other than those he calls family. Living the way a hybrid should live. That they deserve to live. Wasps are practically gods among mortals, aren't they? Stronger, faster, better. That sounds right, doesn't it? A god among men. Something that should be worshiped. It's safe to say that Hoseok himself has a god complex, though he would deny that fact. He would just say he wants to have fun-- that he deserves to have fun, no matter who else might come in the way of that. Cocky, arrogant, mean. He doesn't quiet care how he is described by others as long as he knows their place. And deep, deep in the Amazon Rainforest, there isn't much to stop him, is there? Well, other than the first appearance of humans that he's ever seen. A cute little researcher leading the way, smelling so good. So delicious. Exactly like the nectar of his favorite flower. Like the jungle after a fresh rain. The best part? You wants to know everything about him. Fawn over him like he knows he deserves. Doesn't mind when he plays little games. Wants to know his whole world. You aren't supposed to leave. He knows that with his entire being. Knows you belong to him. You're his favorite toy, his mate. You're not leaving. You're. Not. Leaving. Didn't you know going into this that warrior wasps have some of the most painful stings?

Kim Namjoon

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ species: honey bee

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ classification: Possessive Type » 7/10

Home to the reserve since birth, Namjoon knows a thing or two about how everything functions. The fine-tuned intricacies interlaced behind the surface, the projects going on throughout, the way the gears grind almost so perfectly together to keep everything functioning so smoothly. It's safe to say he knows everything-- he makes sure he does. The taste of knowledge is so sweet, he knows he could never turn away. He helps the new members of the park adapt smoothly, makes sure to help out with the hive. Oh, and of course help out the sweet little director of the park. He would never be so cold as to turn you down, anyway. You've grown so close over the years-- he was the one to first help you gain your bearings when you first took on the job. He's the one to bring you flowers when you've had a hard week. He's the one to put a blanket over your shoulders if you fall asleep at your desk. He's always there. He just makes sure of it. Because there's just something so beautiful about knowledge, you know? Something so deep, so raw, about knowing every little thing about somebody-- everybody that Namjoon can't turn himself away from. Knowledge enlists power. It instills fear. He wants you. And he knows. He's going to figure out everything about you. Just so he can have you. So he can make you his little puppet. Secrets are such dangerous things. You should know that. You do know that. But he, he knows there's something off about you. And once he finds out what, there's no going back.

Park Jimin

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ species: cobalt blue tarantula

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ classification: Clingy Type » 5/10

It's just too hard to be a spider!! Jimin's known it for as long as he can remember-- well, as long as he's been at the reserve, anyway. People there think you're scary so they don't give you any snacks, security removes your webs when they become too prominent around the landscape, not to mention the sun!! Oh god, and don't even get him started on his fangs. He loves them, they're so pretty-- he knows he's pretty, but they're just a pain! Nothing to properly bite to take away the itch!! Uhg!! Being a spider is just so hard!! But you, sweet sweet you just make it so easy. Ah! Wait, no. He's getting ahead of himself again. He has to remind himself to be patient-- oh so patient with you. It's not your fault you're just a little human, that you just need a little more coaxing than most. That you need time to understand him. To understand his raw, unfiltered desires. Oh, the things he would do to you if you did. The things he's going to do once you do. It was never his intention to stumble into your home, in fact, he had no inkling to do the sort. But he needed to get out, he needed to leave the reserve. To explore. His skin burned to go, the words of his bestfriend ushering him along the way. It was fate he found your home. A sign that you were meant to be. And every since that day, a moment has not gone by that he hasn't thought of you. Hasn't worked on planning his next move to have you. Because human's are fragile, you know? They need time. They need space. But Jimin-- he wants neither. He wants you all for himself. He needs you to want him like he wants you. Every waking second. Every moment. And maybe... maybe someday he'll wrap you up tight enough, pretty enough to show you what real love is.

Kim Taehyung

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ species: domestic silk moth

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ classification: Impulsive Type » 9/10

Kim Taehyung... he's another breed of creature entirely. Everyone at the park knows it-- his best friends especially. An amalgamation of nothing and everything. Something that is so easy to read yet difficult to decipher. The type of person to live off of their will alone, not caring for anyone else, nor the consequences their actions may hold. If Taehyung wills it, that's simply how it's going to be. So why... why exactly do you make everything so difficult for him? Things should be so simple-- they always are in his world. He wants a specific tree or cave in the park, the others give it to him. He wants attention from specific visitors, the others leave to let him have it. He wants to leave the park, play another cute little game of cat and mouse with you-- he knows you'll follow him in the end. Or else. He doesn't mind getting his hands dirty. He doesn't care about hurting people to get what he wants. See, it's simple, right? So why the fuck are you so difficult? He doesn't give a shit about all this human garbage. You should feel the same way he does about you. You should just accept his courting gifts without a second thought. You should be his mate and have his mark on you already. You should be living in his nest with him. But you fucking aren't and it's pissing him off. C'mon, it should just be so easy to give in-- he's so nice to you when you behave. He's such a good moth for you. He listens when you tell him no. And eventually you will give in. He knows it. In fact, he's sure you're already in love with him. You're mates. As far as he's concerned, you feel it too. At least, you will soon.

Jeon Jungkook

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ species: black garden ant

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ classification: Worship Type » 8/10

Jungkook loves his colony more than anything else in the world. It's all he's ever known, all he's ever grown up with, all he's ever learned to care about. The good of the colony is more important than anything else in an ants mind-- of course it is. It's bred into their blood, their genes speaking for them more than anything else. Bring home food for everyone else some days, help with the ever expanding tunnel system the next. Do everything for the sake of the colony, for the queen. Only, there was a seamless little mess-up in poor Jungkook's life. Something an ant hybrid never expects, but cant be more thrilled about. You see, ant hybrids don't have mates. That little thing is a simple fact of nature, of life. Something inherent in their beings for the good of the colony-- to make sure their priorities don't wonder. Of course they still mate, they still breed. But an ant with a mate... that means something far greater than a home colony can hold. Jungkook never anticipated finding a mate. Thought he would just settle down with someone he could be happy enough with. But now... now everything is different. Everything has changed from the second he laid eyes on your form sitting on the picnic blanket. And Jungkook knows he's loved you more than he's ever loved his own queen-- his own colony. Maybe he loves you more than life itself. For when an ant hybrid has a mate, it means the formation of something new, of something greater. Of a new colony, with a new queen. And you, you're everything he's ever wanted. You're his queen.

⊹  ׁ   ݂┊ ⭔ interested in more? read the rest relax reserve one-shots here!!

© all rights reserved to ctrlhope 2019-2024 ; do not copy, plagiarise, or translate.

[st-eve-barnes]

Thank you so much, Uzi!❤️

Damn it sounds like your year hasn't been easy either, I hope everything is okay with your husband now and you have settled into the changes at work. I'm glad you managed to push through the bad things as well and find things that help you or distract you, it's all we can do, isn't it?

Even though I've stepped back from fandom a bit I do still look forward to new stuff coming from Tom or Ewan and I hope there is more fangirling in our future. As far as Hotd goes I have zero expectations for season 3, at this point I'm only curious to see just how bad they'll fuck it up lol

Thank you for this heartfelt message, I'm glad we became friends on here and I wish you all the best for the new year❤️

I always make this end of the year post on here looking back on the good and bad things that happened that year but I don't really know where to begin this time. Ever since we buried my aunt in February and had a car accident on the same day this year has felt very off and it hasn't changed since.

Even yesterday we celebrated Christmas with the family and it ended in drama, which just does not happen in our family, ever. (it involved my sister's bf, our family is fine). But it just feels in line with the rest of this weird year.

There's been several deaths around us this year and I've never had as many sick days before, nothing big (I'm lucky here) but many smaller things piling up.

I've been quiet on here lately in fandom as well because I feel like I lost my fangirl vibe a bit. I stopped writing months ago and just been feeling very meh about it all (of course the disappointing season 2 and now lack of content doesn't help). It is what it is, I can't force it.

But let me end with the positive because there have been a lot of good things and many beautiful moments as well. One of the major things for me this year is that I managed to kick my depression. I was in a very dark place last year and the beginning of this one, crying so often for no reason and feeling very out of touch with everything. I'm glad to say I've been feeling much better in that department. The goal for next year is to now kick my anxiety because that one has been on a high this year (how could it not with the state of the world right now??)

But back to the positive, while I've been quiet on here I've been more present in real life, focussing on other hobbies and spending more time outside. When I stopped writing I also picked up reading books again and I'm really enjoying it and indulging in it. My husband has been through it all with me last year and it only confirms what I already knew, that he is the best guy in the entire world. We've grown closer this year (if that was even possible), he is my rock and the absolute best thing in my life.

I'm not quite sure what next year will bring, my anxiety makes it hard to feel entirely positive, but we have a lot of things to look forward to and I hope fandom can pull me back in and I might even write something again one day. But I'm not forcing the muses to come back, things are good as they are now and you might get more aesthetic than fandom posts on this blog for a while longer ;)

I want to tag some people that have kept me company during this year. I hope your holidays are everything you want them to be and the next year will bring you good things❤️ (this goes for all my mutuals not just the ones I tag because I will forget so many people)

@neonhairspray @whitedarkmoonflower @koediepatoedies @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @boundlessfantasy @arcielee @bouncehousedemons @lipstipsky @felteppsters @kaelatargaryen @ms-oswald @lovebittenbyevans @aemonds-fire @dr-aegon @vhagar-balerion-meraxes @lord-aldhelm @persephonerinyes @poppy-in-the-woods @anjelicawrites @gemini-mama @mrsarnasdelicious @livmondcole @sylasthegrim @thenameswinter99

[softnoirr]

They can totally do whatever they want but I think the problem with that one was that no one knew who was going to be endgame and we just assumed it would be TC and yeah.. 😬 🤣

Also if I remember correctly the writer broke them up right when they were getting to the good part so there were def some hard feelings there lmao. All that buildup just for her to be with Kelley???? I was waking up for my 8am college classes with such an attitude for a while after that

yeah I mean I still sincerely think the writer did not owe anyone either the expected ending or a warning of where the story was going to go and i often think theres a sort of toxic entitlement to fic in fandom spaces which makes everyones experience worse; not just the writer but also the reader.

but then i also understand why it would piss people off and thats understandable. and i think that writer might be the funniest person alive.

[crabsnpersimmons]

New 'Do, Same You now on Ao3!!

it's here! my silly hairdresser AU that sparked from my silly page of doodles is now a fic!! i hope you'll give it a read!

In the mood for something new? Come on in for a new hairdo! Day or night, dusk or dawn, Find what you're looking for at the Shooting Star Salon!

EDIT: they're handing out coupons for the salon! 20% off all services! Not valid with other offers. Valid until end of January 2025. (some of them are drawn in crayon by Clip himself 🖍️)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Besties can't enable pvp on each other, right?

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