#and then they kind of become irrelevant as z goes by so they never get paired off with random women LOL
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hornychristianprincess · 8 months ago
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NSFW A-Z: ANTON
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a/n: this is just my personal analysis based off my perception and observations of anton's personality. all of this is fiction/fantasy
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Anton can be initially trash at aftercare. He’ll still be trying to process his own emotions about what just happened before he can even think to tend to yours. He has a tendency to assume things so a part of him will just think you’re fine until you tell him otherwise. With some instruction, he can improve. Once he gets in the habit of doing it, you’ll never have to ask again. I also think this cutie would be prone to shyly asking you questions about the sex, wanting to know that it was as good for you as it was for him.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Anton spends a lot of time in the gym so I think he has a lot of pride in several parts of his body, but most strongly his broad shoulders and muscular arms. Being that he was once a professional swimmer, this is the part of his body stands out the most. It represents his hard work and unique talent.
On his partner, I feel like Anton would be too overwhelmed to pick one thing. He’ll like everything about you, even things that are nonsensical like your ankle or the back of your knees.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Anton will have a hell of an orgasm if you let him come in your mouth and swallow it. Something about it is almost gross to him, and in that way it turns him on even more. He’s also kind of curious about fucking you raw and coming inside of you; I could see him experimentally pushing it back in with his fingers, something exciting about seeing a part of himself oozing out of you. Most times though, he’ll settle for finishing in a condom, especially because I get the feeling he has a lot of anxiety about getting someone pregnant on accident.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Deep down, I think Anton is curious at the idea of degrading his partner, not just verbally, but physically too. He has sometimes sadistic fantasies of slapping someone on the face with his cock, face-fucking someone to the point of tears, and even watching you get ravaged by someone else. These thoughts are paradoxical for him though, because he simultaneously would lose respect for someone who would allow themselves to be treated that way. He’s also really nice so could never bring himself to talking down to someone he loves. So for now, these are things that he enjoys in fantasy and porn only.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
If Anton’s had sex, it was with a long-term girlfriend or close-friend-turned-lover. He needs to have an intimate level of closeness with someone before he’s able to even think about taking that step.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He likes cowgirl the most. It takes the pressure off of him to have to take the lead in your pleasure, he gets a great view of your body, and you’re able to maintain the pace. I think he’s also very turned on by doggy style, something about the view of your ass and the pleasure he’s able to deliver from this angle making it appealing to him.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Anton makes jokes to cover up mistakes or moments where he feels extra nervous/awkward. Once he’s inside you though, he becomes so focused and overwhelmed that he couldn’t laugh even if he found something funny.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Most times, Anton can’t be bothered to groom himself. Once he has a sexual partner, he’ll start to become self-conscious and put more effort into shaving himself regularly. He honestly relies on his partner to tell him how they want him to look.
On his partner, he doesn’t care. I think he’s feels fortunate to even have access to pussy, so how it looks is irrelevant to him.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
I think Anton is still working out what intimacy looks like for him. He doesn’t have the maturity or the sexual experience to know how intimacy should feel. It takes him a while to even feel comfortable having sex without overthinking his every word and movement. For him to get to the point where he’s accessing the emotions required for intimacy, he’d definitely need time and a lot of leadership from his partner.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
I think he’s a little bit embarrassed about jacking off, but can’t help but feel called to do it anyway. He does it quite often as a way to let off sexual frustration. He’s motivated to masturbate after a particularly awkward interaction with a crush. If he doesn’t let off steam in this way, he’ll just be sent into a spiral of overthinking until he goes crazy.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Recording: Anton would be pleased if his partner agreed or initiated the recording of their sex. I think something about watching himself from outside of his body increases his confidence about how well he did. He’s able to consume it in the same way he would consume porn. I also think he’s more motivated to try harder when he knows it will be on video.
Mirror Sex: Similar to recording, there’s something about being able to see himself in action that increases his confidence and thus makes him try even harder. He likes seeing how he looks from your point of view and adjusting accordingly. Moreover, I could see him making little innocent observations about how you look in the mirror, saying things like, “Do you like watching yourself cry for me?” and “You look so pretty like this.”
Anal: Similar to what I said earlier about him wanting to come in your mouth, I think Anton is turned on by things that he views as slightly gross or forbidden. The idea of you letting him use your body in this way feels like the ultimate privilege. It feels like his birthday every time you tell him it’s okay for him to touch you there.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He’s a simple guy – the bedroom is comfortable, safe, and private.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
He’s turned on by someone who takes care of themselves physically and puts in the effort to look good for him. Lingerie, perfume, and makeup are all things that make him feel giddy and excited at the thought of fucking you.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
I think he’s not attracted to women who are just as shy as him, simply because with him also being an introvert, you’re at a stalemate with no one there to take the lead. I also think he’d be opposed to inviting anyone else into the bedroom. He’s overwhelmed enough as it is with just the two of you. The last thing he needs is to have anyone else. Moreover, with him still trying to work through his own confidence about his sexual abilities, seeing someone else fuck you would just drain him of all life energy.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Anton really enjoys giving head. There is something comforting to him about being nuzzled between your legs and lapping at your wetness. He gets very turned on by giving head to the point of sometimes coming in his pants. He also can get carried away sometimes, overstimulating you and not realizing it until you have to push him off of you. He’ll be so confused and apologetic until you explain that the only reason you’re pulling away is because it was too good.
I honestly think Anton isn’t too partial to receiving head. He worries a lot about hurting you in the process, especially because he’s prone to unconsciously bucking into your mouth. Moreover, he feels the best when he’s able to make you feel good, and would prefer to spend his time inside of you than watching you suck him off.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He’s honestly all over the place when it comes to speed, one moment you’ll be riding him and he’ll tell you to go faster, and in the next moment, he gets overwhelmed and tells you to slow down. Over time, he gets better at developing patience and fucking you slower so that the sex will last longer. Once he makes you come, though, he loses all motivation to be slow and just starts rutting into you until he comes.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
With the way Anton struggles to control himself sometimes, sex is frequently quick, but he’s always motivated to go again if he feels like he could’ve done better. It’s too easy to convince him to have a quickie at home right before you go out somewhere – the temptation is too strong to resist.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Anton is sometimes gullible and easily persuaded, so I feel like he could be convinced into having sex somewhere risky. However, don’t expect him to be at his usual form because the anxiety of potentially getting caught will prevent him from doing his best. He’ll be jumpy and become alert at the smallest sounds. Be prepared for him to back out entirely. Risky sex with Anton will only be successful if the conditions are right. Even so, I think Anton enjoys the thrill of doing something he feels like he’s not supposed to do. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
As I’ve already alluded to, I think his excitement and nerves can cause him to come pretty quickly, especially in those early days of a sexual relationship where he’s still getting to know his partner’s body and what they need to feel satisfied. However, he likes to please above all else, so if he feels like he wasn’t good enough the first time, he’ll want to keep going for another round until he can feel satisfied knowing the sex was good for both of you. The longer you’re together and the better he gets, the less of a need there will be to go for rounds.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Anton is intimated at the thought of using toys. Sex is already overwhelming enough for him, so he doesn’t need any additional things to have to consider. Similarly, I think he would be wary about having toys used on him. He would be scared and embarrassed at his own potential to react whinily (probably not a word but oh well yk what I mean) in response to such external stimulation.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
It’s never in the forefront of Anton’s mind to tease, but I think he can be a tease in a way that’s accidental. Sometimes because he’s trying to savor the moment, he’ll move really slow in a way that is excruciating for you. When he’s at his most confident, he’ll start flying at the mouth a bit more, making some teasing observations about how fucked-out you look. Still, I don’t see him as ever being a person who would intentionally withhold pleasure from his partner.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s not loud in his daily life so I doubt he would be loud in the bedroom. In fact, he can be silent for so long sometimes that it can almost be intimidating. When he experiences pleasure, I think he’s the type to bite his lips or form his mouth into a straight line, making a hmpph kind of noise or sighing.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
It was Anton’s birthday, and at your lead, he had found himself sitting upright on the edge of the bed, a silk blindfold obscuring his vision. He could hear you finicking around in his nearby vicinity, the excitement of what was to come cause him to grow hard and stiff in his pants. He leaned back against the bed, awaiting you, relieved when he could feel the warmth of your presence. He heard you utter a tiny, “Ready?” before taking off the blindfold and revealing yourself in a matching, baby pink bra and panty set.
“Suprise,” you remarked casually, watching him chuckle a little as his eyes roamed your body. “Do you like it?” you asked, already knowing the answer as his hands reached out to hold your hips.
“I love it,” he replies, his eyes finally and almost regretfully leaving your body to find your face. “Is this my gift?” he asks with a hopeful smirk.
“Yes. You just have to unwrap it first,” you confirm, and then, as your eyes meet, you lean in to connect your lips in a kiss that starts off soft but becomes sordid as Anton builds his confidence with time.
In what feels relatively like only seconds, he has you completely naked and bent over the bed on all fours, his cock naked and pressed against your cunt with the knowledge that you’re on birth control. Just as he’s about to enter you, he pauses to reach for his phone. “Can I record this?”
“Of course, my love,” you permit, and with his phone on selfie camera and angled right in front of your face, you’re able to watch from the screen as Anton’s expression becomes intense and focused the moment he moves to push his cock inside of you.
Anton fucks into you purposefully, so big that it’s as if he’s digging into your stomach with each thrust. He takes occasional looks over at the phone that’s still actively recording you desperately taking his cock. He makes small adjustments each time he notices his image reflected on the phone screen, pulling your ass up higher or deepening your arch with the palm of his hand against your spine. When he observes your fucked out expression, he feels his lips twitch into a smirk as he remarks, “You fuck me so good. Look so hot bent over for me like this.”
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
I am a big dick Anton truther, there is something about his tall build combined with the way he carries himself that just suggests monster cock in all respects.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Anton has a decently high sex drive and is pretty shitty at hiding it when he’s in a relationship. Close to everything will cause him to pop a boner, and once he acknowledges it, it won’t go away until he comes.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Like I said earlier, he’ll only be comfortable relaxing once he’s able to confirm that you were pleasantly satisfied. Once that’s happened, he’ll be so relieved that he’ll fall asleep relatively easily.
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fishkinger · 4 years ago
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Thinking about my boys again
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thelarriefics · 4 years ago
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MOVIE/TV FIC REC, Part III: Below you’ll find more fics that are based on movies or television series. (Part I, Part II)
📖 Come My Love Again by @softfonds (110k)
Harry Styles is handsome, clever, and rich. At least that’s what his friends say of him. He also thinks of himself as a matchmaker in Highbury, pairing people together when he finds the time. But when the arrival of a certain gentleman flips Harry’s world on its head, he starts to question everything that was once all too familiar to him, including his relationship with his good friend, Mr. Tomlinson. An Emma AU.
📖 Let Our Hearts Collide by @crinkle-eyed-boo (76k)
When Harry, a lonely transit worker, saves the life of the handsome commuter he's been secretly pining for, an innocent mistake results in Liam Payne's family believing that Harry is engaged to their son. In the Paynes, Harry finds the big family he's always longed for...and a love he never saw coming.
A While You Were Sleeping AU
📖 All Things Hidden by @coucoujedors (68k)
the Good Omens AU where Louis is a fallen angel who falls for an angel and has to save the world in the meantime.
📖 Felt Nothing Like Home by @becomeawendybird (61k)
The Bon Appétit YouTube channel has become an unexpected success partly due to the newest series developed by classically trained pastry chef Harry Styles who is intent on making the art of baking accessible to the masses. He and his best friend Louis Tomlinson have been with the magazine for years and they’re unused to the level of online fame they’ve suddenly achieved.
It’s easy for Harry to brush it off and ignore it (despite the teasing they get around the test kitchen) because Louis is happily married and has been for years—since just before they met for the first time. Or, it was easy to brush it off, but at the beginning of the summer, just as they’re leading up to the stress of planning the annual holiday issue, Louis and his husband decide to file for divorce.
📖 Are you afraid of God? by @lightwoodsmagic (53k)
A Bioshock Infinite AU where nothing is ever as it seems, and time is always irrelevant.
📖 The Happiest Season by @sadaveniren (37k)
A fic loosely based on Happiest Season but make it ... different
📖 for neither never nor ever by @lookslikefairytale (28k)
the one where Harry travels through time and has to come to terms with losing everything he's ever known. Louis might be the only thing that feels real.
📖 others i've seen might never be mean (but they would never do) by @cherrylouvol6 (20k)
a When Harry Met Sally AU in which Louis says all the wrong things and Harry always feels one step behind.
📖 Love and Other Antidotes by @haztobegood (16k)
Arrogant pop star Harry Styles is transformed into a cow by his bandmate Amy Z after a heated argument. Left in the back of a truck, Harry finds himself at a rural farm hours away from his band. Harry has three days to make it back to London and turn back into a human before his next show. His only chance to reclaim his glamorous life rests with a kind farmer named Louis. They must work together to find the antidote before Amy Z finishes him off and takes over the band.
📖 who's that girl? by @adoredontour (13k)
harry is canadian, louis owns a bar, zayn comes and goes as he pleases, liam's just trying to keep everyone alive, and nobody knows what niall does. a new girl au.
📖 tyger! tyger! burning bright by @canyonemoon (12k)
They put on the Great British Bake Off, in a house in Donny, in England, that’s maybe inhabited by two ghosts, two lovers, stuck in the house where they used to have a life, so far away from the time they were born in. // A Buzzfeed Unsolved AU in which Harry and Louis died in a fire in the late 1800's, but death isn't the end. 
📖 you caught me at the right time by @leedsau (10k)
When Harry and Louis visit San Junipero, a fun-loving beach town full of surf, sun, and sex, their lives are changed.
📖 Brighten My Northern Sky by @harrieberrie (10k)
Ser·en·dip·i·ty
the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way
or
Harry, Louis, a phone number and fate
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The emcee leans in between them, handing over his mic to the blue-eyed vision. “You know what? Someday… Someday you guys might thank me for this...”
OR the one where Louis is Troy, Harry is Gabriella, and we find out what really happened after karaoke at that ski resort...
📖 If Only We Wish Hard Enough by @lululawrence (5k)
the five times fic where Louis is Peter Pan, Harry is his best friend Tinkerbelle, and it takes them awhile but they figure things out. 
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guysupremacy · 5 years ago
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Sfw alphabet:Sakyo Furuichi edition
Note: requests are open. Also, you can find the masterlist here
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
• Sakyo isn't the most affectionate man in the mankai company,or in the world in general, but after a few months he becomes a little more affectionate Month by Month.
• Sakyo mostly shows his affection by either having his arm around your waist,and by teasing you.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
• Sakyo is definitely that over protective friend, but you're important to him so he must do it.
• Your guys' friendship started at the beginning of childhood. It all started when Sakyo was staring at the old troupe members practicing.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
• As I've said before, Sakyo isn't the most affectionate so he rather not cuddle unless you beg him to.
• Sakyo isn't the best cuddler, he's as stiff as a stick.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
• Sakyo wouldn't date you if he didn't think you'd want to settle down with him,so when he dates you, he expects you to want to settle down too.
• Sakyo is pretty good at both. Hell, he even took care of you when the both of you were young.
• Even if Sakyo is pretty good at cooking,he only knows about 10 recipes and he'll need you to help most of the time
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
• Sakyo would ask you to meet him in private
• If he caught you cheating, he'd probably be emotionless and cold about your feelings.
• If him being a yakuza puts you in grave danger,Sakyo will be gentle and understanding. if you're crying,you bet that he'd shed some tears too.
• If he thinks you deserved better, he'd also be gentle, but he'll be hard on himself
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
• Sakyo is hands down all about commitment
• But even if Sakyo is pretty commited, he'd want to take it pretty slow before he decides he wants to marry you.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
• Even if Sakyo pretends he's all rough and dangerous, he's gentle
• Sakyo knows when to not cross the line while teasing you
• You're literally his pride and joy so he wouldn't even dare hurt you.
• You're like his salvation from all of his emotional issues
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
• Sakyo complains about you hugging him but he secretly loves them
• Sakyo only hugs you once in a blue moon but when he does, it so gentle
• He puts his hand behind your head while you guys sway a little bit while he whispers sweet nothings
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?).
• Sakyo rarely says it but when he says it, it catches you by surprise.
• You could literally say the stupidest irrelevant thing and sakyo would sometimes say it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
• Sakyo gets jealous very easily but who can blame him? This man has been yearning for you since childhood and he feels threaten by any man that makes you either laugh or smile.
• Sakyo becomes cold and aloof, but you have to give him the big "I love you and only you"speech at least 13 times a month
• To add to the last one,Sakyo gives the perpetrator the good ol' death glare as he wraps his arm around your waist.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
• Sakyo's kisses were a bit sloppy due to inexperience but he learns pretty quickly.
• Sakyo loves to give you those fast and hot kisses but he also loves giving you those slow and sensual kisses
• He loves being kissed everywhere,even on his moles. But Sakyo would never admit that
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
• Sakyo is surprisingly good with little kids, but that's because he had the experience to take care of you as a child.
• Even if Sakyo is good with little kids,he's still rough around the edges and insensitive to the kids' feelings.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
• Sakyo loves waking up next to you, and having you two drink coffee in silence.
• He loves it even more if you read the newspaper with him.
• If you were to wake up before him, (which your chances are very slim) you'd get out of the bedroom as fast and quietly as possible so you can make breakfast for him
• If he wakes up earlier than you, he'd stare at you for a few minutes and smile before walking out of the bedroom to make breakfast for the both of you.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
• Nights with Sakyo or calm, or hectic
• It's either you guys are too tired to even say good night, or one of you guys had a stressful day and are trying to release their stress (if you know what I mean)
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
• Instead of revealing things about him,Sakyo reveals things from your guys' childhood
• Sakyo prefers to reveal things slowly because he finds it adorable when you get all flustered when he teases you about something that you did long ago.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
• Sakyo is a man of little to no patience. And it's quite easy to anger him.
• But even if you annoy him, he goes way on you with the lectures.
• Will, most of the time
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
• Sakyo would 100% remember everything about you.
• Hell, he even remember when you told him you'll marry him when you were pretty young.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
• Sakyo loves every moment of your relationship but if he could only pick two memories,he'd pick the memory of when you guys first met and when the both of you met again after years of not seeing each other.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
• Sakyo is very very very protective of you. Especially since he's a yakuza.
• You're protective 24/7 either it be Ichiro, Sakoda,or himself protecting you, he'll never let you be unprotected.
• Sakyo rather not be protected. As long as you're safe that's all that matters.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
• Sakyo would give it his all for special occasions
• But just because he'll give it his all doesn't mean he'll go over the budget.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
• He'd be way to overprotective of you. He lost you once and he doesn't want to lose you ever again.
• If Sakyo says no, it stays as a no. It doesn't matter if you protest or anything, but once sakyo sets his mind on something, he won't back down.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
• Sakyo isn't concerned about looks, but if someone points out his moles, he'll threaten them or rip them a new one.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
• Sakyo would 100% feel incomplete without you.
• You're his sunshine, his ride or die
• If he loses you, he'll go back to his dark self.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
You and Sakyo love to share granola bars with eachother. You get one, Sakyo gets the other one. It's been like that since childhood.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
• He doesn't like showing affection in public. He thinks that those type of intimate moments should be in private
• He doesn't want his partner to be a slob. He literally hates seeing a small bread cumb on the floor.
• He doesn't like you being near other members of the yakuza,it's nothing against them, but he doesn't want anyone trying to steal his girl
• He sure as hell does NOT want people asking about his or your sex life. That's only for the two of you to know.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleeping  habit of theirs?)
Sakyo is an insomniac workaholic who barely needs sleep. But if you were to stay up late,Sakyo would want to lecture you but can't because 1. You're a grown adult 2. He's one to talk and 3. He enjoys your company.
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thewondersomethingorother · 4 years ago
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I’m getting a wild need to put out some Pokemon thoughts and no one is here to tell me to stop so really it’s society’s fault anyway let’s get to business-
-With the last few generations, I’m becoming convinced that certain Pokemon from other Gens aren’t really native to the regions we thought they’re from. Like, Eevee are supposedly SUPER rare in Kanto, and since they’re Gen 1, you assume they’re from there, but in Gens 6 and 8, you can just FIND the little buggers in the tall grass. I have a team of Eevee evolutions based off of Magical Girls because of that (we’ve come a long way from the days where we got the one and had to REALLY think about how we were going to evolve-I’m kidding, it’s Vaporeon. The answer was always Vaporeon). Same goes for Chancy, which you can just find in Gen 8 no problem, no Safari Zone hunting FOR DAYS here. 
-I’m mostly going by the logic of the games since I’ve never played the card game and I haven’t really watched the show since Ash was in Sinnoh but; we need to dial it back on the Legendaries. We’re getting a little overstuffed here and if the next gen games want to only have, like, -2(?!)- then I’m fine with that. It’s less that I’m some crusty older player upset that Legendaries aren’t as spectacular as they used to be or someshit, but more I’m just getting TIRED of all the lore. Can we just have some overlap at some point? A good CHUNK of them are irrelevant anyway. Like, who cares what Hoopa’s deal even is? Or Heatran’s? A handful of them have been pains-in-the-ass event ones that didn’t even really do much and were hyped through the movies (don’t tell me Celebi was worth getting, I don’t believe that. At best it’s cute and that’s it). 
-As far as Bad Guy Teams go? Don’t nobody tell me Cyrus wasn’t the biggest problem out of all of them. Team Rocket? Pokemon abusers and bad guys, sure, but also basically the mob; at best they tried to take a radio tower and a train. Teams Aqua and Magma? Eco-Terrorists and indeed nearly caused actual irreversible damage to Hoenn, but at LEAST thought they had the moral high ground. Plasma? Same thing but were also just PETA. Skull? A bunch of disillusioned b-boys and their boss just looking for places to pose. But Cyrus?! He tried to mess with reality. He led a cult of fanatical bowl-cuts to steal dangerous technology, create massive explosions to suss out powerful Pokemon and use the power of those Pokemon to steal the powers of stronger Pokemon who were in charge of Time and Space. All because he never totally “got” emotions and decided he was going to start his own reality, with blackjack and hookers. While all the other Bad Guy Team Leaders hammed it up with the best of them, Cyrus just stared and judged like a damn cat. He’s high-grade creep and I still enjoy the story in Platinum, just to see him try to intimidate Pokemon Satan, just because he thought he could pull it off. 
-I actually like the gimmick that seems to be a trend now in each region having a different battle gimmick. Kalos had Megas (which are still the best btw, bring back Megas), Alola had Z-Moves (which were...fine) and now Galar has Dynamax, which I find cool on the basis that it turns Pokemon battles into kaiju battles and that’s neat. If Gamefreak can keep this up, I’m going to be genuinely interested in where they’re going to go in future Gens. 
-I’m also a fan of how they just, straight up ran out of Japan. Like, the first 4 regions were just based off of parts of Japan, which was cool because I got to learn what the real world parallels to stuff in the games were, until the developers either ran out of places to base regions off of or just got bored and decided to start making them based off of other places in the world. I know I’m not the first to say this, but that decision really served to open up the whole world of Pokemon, and now we get to speculate what the next region is going to be based off of and the kind of story potential that could have. I remember being so excited for Gen 5 when I found out that it was not only going to be based off America, but specifically the East Coast, and even more specifically, the general NYC/ NJ area (you can’t tell me Undella Town isn’t Cape May). Ever since then, I’ve been seeing fun fan-made regions based off of places like the Midwest, Russia, Mexico, and so many more. 
winding down now...possibly more to follow. 
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terramythos · 4 years ago
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TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 22 of 26
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Title: House of Leaves (2000) 
Author: Mark Z. Danielewski
Genre/Tags: Horror, Fiction, Metafiction, Weird, First-Person, Third-Person, Unreliable Narrator 
Rating: 6/10
Date Began: 7/28/2020
Date Finished: 8/09/2020
House of Leaves follows two narrative threads. One is the story of Johnny Truant, a burnout in his mid-twenties who finds a giant manuscript written by a deceased, blind hermit named Zampanò. The second is said manuscript -- The Navidson Record -- a pseudo-academic analysis of a found-footage horror film that doesn’t seem to exist. In it, Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist Will Navidson moves into a suburban home in Virginia with his partner Karen and their two children. Navidson soon makes the uncomfortable discovery that his new house is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Over time he discovers more oddities -- a closet that wasn’t there before, and eventually a door that leads into an impossibly vast, dark series of rooms and hallways. 
While Johnny grows more obsessed with the work, his life begins to take a turn for the worse, as told in the footnotes of The Navidson Record. At the same time, the mysteries of the impossible, sinister house on Ash Tree Lane continue to deepen. 
To get a better idea try this: focus on these words, and whatever you do don’t let your eyes wander past the perimeter of this page. Now imagine just beyond your peripheral vision, maybe behind you, maybe to the side of you, maybe even in front of you, but right where you can’t see it, something is quietly closing in on you, so quiet in fact you can only hear it as silence. Find those pockets without sound. That’s where it is. Right at this moment. But don’t look. Keep your eyes here. Now take a deep breath. Go ahead and take an even deeper one. Only this time as you start to exhale try to imagine how fast it will happen, how hard it’s gonna hit you, how many times it will stab your jugular with its teeth or are they nails? don’t worry, that particular detail doesn’t matter, because before you have time to even process that you should be moving, you should be running, you should at the very least be flinging up your arms--you sure as hell should be getting rid of this book-- you won’t have time to even scream. 
Don’t look. 
I didn’t. 
Of course I looked. 
Some story spoilers under the cut. 
Whoo boy do I feel torn on this one. House of Leaves contains some really intriguing ideas, and when it’s done right, it’s some of the best stuff out there. Unfortunately, there are also several questionable choices and narrative decisions that, for me, tarnish the overall experience. It’s certainly an interesting read, even if the whole is ultimately less than the sum of its parts. 
First of all, I can see why people don’t like this book, or give up on it early (for me this was attempt number three). Despite an interesting concept and framing device, the first third or so of the book is pretty boring. Johnny is just not an interesting character. He does a lot of drugs and has a lot of (pretty unpleasant) sex and... that’s pretty much it, at least at the beginning. There’s occasional horror sections that are more interesting, where Johnny’s convinced he’s being hunted by something, but they’re few and far between. Meanwhile, the story in The Navidson Record seems content to focus on the relationship issues between two affluent suburbanites rather than the much more interesting, physically impossible house they live in. The early “exploration” sections are a little bit better, but overall I feel the opening act neglects the interesting premise. 
However, unlike many, I love the gimmick. The academic presentation of the Navidson story is replete with extensive (fake) footnotes,and there’s tons of self-indulgent rambling in both stories. I personally find it hilarious; it’s an intentionally dense parody of modern academic writing. Readers will note early that the typographical format is nonstandard, with the multiple concurrent stories denoted by different typefaces, certain words in color, footnotes within footnotes, etc. House of Leaves eventually goes off the chain with this concept, gracing us with pages that look like (minor spoilers) this or this. This leads into the best part of this book, namely... 
Its visual presentation! House of Leaves excels in conveying story and feeling through formatting decisions. The first picture I linked is one of many like it in a chapter about labyrinths. And reading it feels like navigating a labyrinth! It features a key “story”, but also daunting, multi-page lists of irrelevant names, buildings, architectural terms, etc. There are footnotes that don’t exist, then footnote citations that don’t seem to exist until one finds them later in the chapter. All this while physically turning the book or even grabbing a mirror to read certain passages. In short, it feels like navigating the twists, turns, and dead ends of a labyrinth. And that’s just one example -- other chapters utilize placement of the text to show where a character is in relation to others, what kind of things are happening around them, and so on. One chapter near the end features a square of text that gets progressively smaller as one turns the pages, which mirrors the claustrophobic feel of the narrative events. This is the coolest shit to me; I adore when a work utilizes its format to convey certain story elements. I usually see this in poetry and video games, but this is the first time I’ve seen it done so well in long-form fiction. City of Saints and Madmen and Shriek: An Afterword by Jeff VanderMeer, both of which I reviewed earlier this year, do something similar, and are clearly inspired by House of Leaves in more ways than one. 
And yes, the story does get a little better, though it never wows me. The central horror story is not overtly scary, but eeriness suffices, and I have a soft spot for architectural horror. Even Johnny and the Navidsons become more interesting characters over time. For example, I find Karen pretty annoying and generic for most of the book, but her development in later chapters makes her much more interesting. While I question the practical need for Johnny’s frame story, it does become more engaging as he descends into paranoia and madness.
So why the relatively low rating? Well... as I alluded to earlier, there’s some questionable stuff in House of Leaves that leaves (...hah?) a bad taste in my mouth. The first is a heavy focus on sexual violence against women. I did some extensive thinking on this throughout my read, but I just cannot find a valid reason for it. The subject feels thrown in for pure shock value, and especially from a male author, it seems tacky and voyeuristic. If it came up once or twice I’d probably be able to stomach this more easily, but it’s persistent throughout the story, and doesn’t contribute anything to the plot or horror (not that that would really make it better). I’m not saying books can’t have that content, but it’s just not explored in any meaningful way, and it feels cheap and shitty to throw it in something that traumatizing just to shock the audience. It’s like a bad jump scare but worse on every level. There’s even a part near the end written in code, which I took the time to decode, only to discover it’s yet another example of this. Like, really, dude? 
Second, this book’s portrayal of mental illness is not great. (major spoilers for Johnny’s arc.) One of the main things about Johnny’s story is he’s an unreliable narrator. From the outset, Johnny has occasional passages that can either be interpreted as genuine horror, or delusional breaks from reality. Reality vs unreality is a core theme throughout both stories. Is The Navidson Record real despite all evidence to the contrary? Is it real as in “is the film an actual thing” or “the events of the film are an actual thing”? and so on and so forth. Johnny’s sections mirror this; he’ll describe certain events, then later state they didn’t happen, contradict himself, or even describe a traumatic event through a made-up story. Eventually, the reader figures out parts of Johnny’s actual backstory, namely that when he was a small child, his mother was institutionalized for violent schizophrenia. Perhaps you can see where this is going... 
Schizophrenia-as-horror is ridiculously overdone. But it also demonizes mental illness, and schizophrenia in particular, in a way that is actively harmful. Don’t misunderstand me, horror can be a great way to explore mental illness, but when it’s done wrong? Woof. Unfortunately House of Leaves doesn’t do it justice. While it avoids some cliches, it equates the horror elements of Johnny’s story to the emergence of his latent schizophrenia. This isn’t outwardly stated, and there are multiple interpretations of most of the story, but in lieu of solid and provable horror, it’s the most reasonable and consistent explanation. There’s also an emphasis on violent outbursts related to schizophrenia, which just isn’t an accurate portrayal of the condition. 
To Danielewski’s credit, it’s not entirely black and white. We do see how Johnny’s descent into paranoia negatively affects his life and interpersonal relationships. There’s a bonus section where we see all the letters Johnny’s mother wrote him while in the mental hospital, and we can see her love and compassion for him in parallel to the mental illness. But the experimental typographical style returns here to depict just how “scary” schizophrenia is, and that comes off as tacky to me. I think this is probably an example of a piece of media not aging well (after all, this book just turned 20), and there’s been a definite move away from this kind of thing in horror, but that doesn’t change the impression it leaves. For a book as supposedly original/groundbreaking as this, defaulting to standard bad horror tropes is disappointing. And using “it was schizophrenia all along” to explain the horror elements in Johnny’s story feels like a cop-out. I wish there was more mystery here, or alternate interpretations that actually make sense. 
Overall The Navidson Record part of the story feels more satisfying. I actually like that there isn’t a direct explanation for everything that happens. It feels like a more genuine horror story, regardless of whether you interpret it as a work of fiction within the story or not. There’s evidence for both. Part of me wishes the book had ended when this story ends (it doesn’t), or that the framing device with Johnny was absent, or something along those lines. Oh well-- this is the story we got, for better or worse. 
I don’t regret reading House of Leaves, and it’s certainly impressive for a debut novel. If you’re looking for a horror-flavored work of metafiction, it’s a valid place to start. I think the experimental style is a genuine treat to read, and perhaps the negative aspects won’t hit you as hard as they did to me. But I can definitely see why this book is controversial. 
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bangtan-madi · 5 years ago
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hi! could you please do number 5 from the time loop prompts with our lovely zen? thank you so much~!
Sorry this took forever to get written!! Thank you for being so patient. Hope you enjoy!! :)
There is something about this crowd that sends you off-kilter. It's not the usual clash of sounds, nor is it the bustle of people. Shoulders brushing shoulders as car horns blare and train tracks rattle, those are things you're used to from living in a busy city. Cell phones going off and people chattering in various dialects and languages are not new to you.
And at first, you don't give the tall, pale-haired man a second glance. Your elbow brushes his, and you keep moving forward. As does he. Neither of you stumble or turn back to apologize. Why would you? There are a hundred thousand people in this square at this very moment. Why would this one render your undivided attention? 
You continue along your way, stumbling through the hoard of citizens of every background. The conglomerate pushes you forward and away from the man in a silver trench-coat.
As you do, a terribly and empty feeling tugs at your heart. It's almost nauseating. The more you walk away from the center of the square, the more your breath catches in your lungs, the more your throat constricts, and the more your eyes start to water. Everything inside you is telling you to stop, to turn, to go back to where you were.
That instinct, above all else, strikes you to your core.
And you obey.
Turning on your heel, you shift your gaze back towards the direction from which you came. Oddly enough, the man in the silver trench-coat stands still, just a few feet away from the center. His back is turned to you, but you can see his shoulders heave heavily. It seems his breathing has become just as difficult as yours.
But why? Why this person? Why this place? Why right now? A million questions of this nature swirl around inside your skull, and they prompt you to take the first step back towards him.
The closer you get, the more relief floods through your system. Breathing comes easier. You find your voice again. Even movement becomes natural again. And as you reach out towards the stranger, without really knowing why, a wave of emotion pours over you.
"Excuse me, I--"
Your words and your thoughts are cut short as your fingers brush his arm for a second time. This instance, you're overwhelmed with imagery of another life. This man and you are the stars of this show. How or why or when are irrelevant as the story plays out in your mind.
The moment you met. The moment you first kissed. The moment you first said, "I love you." The moment you first made good on those words. The moment you married. These, and so much more, consume your senses, and you remember the finer details when you focus on them. The chatrooms, the friends, the intruder, the party, the plays, the weddings and baby showers sleepless nights and Z--
You pull your hand away as the story comes to an end. Not knowing how or why or when, but one thing is illuminatingly clear: this man and you shared a life together. You loved each other. And, eventually, you lost each other.
How could you forget about all of that?
Tears pour from your eyes as the pale-haired man finally turns towards you. The expression of confusion shifts to wide-eyed worry as he reaches for you, gently grasping your shoulders.
"Hey, hey! There's no need to cry. What's wrong, Jagiya? I'm not sure what I can do, but I can do what I can to help. Please, just calm down and I'll help you. Promise."
The nickname only brings back more of that lost life. Needless to say, your tears refuse to halt.
Desperately, the man bends down to be more at eye-level with you. "Please, don't cry. The last thing I want to do make a pretty lady like you sad."
You wipe your eyes with the back of your sleeve and gaze up at the familiar man's scarlet eyes. "You really don't remember?"
"Remember what?"
"Everything!" you exclaim. "You didn't feel anything when I touched your coat?"
He sighs and shakes his head slightly. "Are you sure you're okay? Maybe I should take you to a hosp--"
"--No," you cut him off, shaking your head. "No, we know each other. Your name is Zen. Your birth name is Hyun Ryu. You love to act on stage, and you hate cats because you're allergic. Your close friends are Yoosung, Saeyoung, and Jaehee. You pretend to hate Jumin, but when it comes down to it, you like him, too."
Zen's crimson gaze softens a little, but you can tell he doesn't believe you or remember anything. "That's awfully sweet that you're such a huge fan, but I don't think we've met before."
You grab the periphery of his coat and pull him closer, intensifying your voice. "Your mother called you ugly, and your brother betrayed you, so you left home when you were a teenager. You joined a biker gang and made a lot of mistakes before joining the RFA because of Rika and V. They were your friends, too."
"Wait, how do you know all of that about me?"
"Because I know you, Zen! And you know me. You’re the kindest, most compassionate and creative person I know. You give everything and expect nothing in return. You’re trying to quit smoking because you know how much I hate it. And you’re easing up on riding your motorcycle because I’m scared for your safety. It took you a while to realize that your mother was wrong and that you really are handsome, but your confidence is contagious, and you’ve made me one of the happiest people alive.”
Zen releases your shoulders with a perplexed and lost expression on his face. "I'm not sure what you're trying to do here, but you must've found that on the internet. Not sure how--" He shakes his head. "Who are you?"
"You know!" you exclaim desperately. "You know exactly who I am. You have to--You have to remember. Remember the night under the stars. Remember the day we adopted that Siberian kitten named Mai. Remember the telling me, 'Thank you for choosing me.' Remember our baby girl. Remember I love you. Remember everything before the reset. You have to. Remember me!"
In his hesitation, you see something familiar flicker across his unusual eyes. If you hadn't been gazing at them at the time, you might've missed it. There one second and gone the next, but it was something. You see it on his face; he just remembered something.
"M--MC?"
At the unprompted mention of your name, you slip your fingers up to the collar of his jacket and pull his face down towards yours. He allows you, and your lips meet in the middle. Pouring every bit of memory and love and hope into the kiss, you use the gesture to show him you mean it, that you're telling the truth, that he can remember if he tries. You see that sliver of that past life in his eyes, and like hell you're going to let it slip away.
Something unlocks inside Zen's brain as you press your mouth to his a second time. This time, he kisses back, equally passionate. Everything about you is so familiar. Your voice, your kiss, your appearance, even your tears: Zen knows he's done this all before. Even if he doesn't remember everything, his entire being knows you're telling the truth.
If there's one thing he remembers at this very moment, it's that your name has been circling around in his mind for longer than he's realized.
Zen's hands move for your waist, pulling you closer as his fingers slip under your jacket. Your tiny gasp into the kiss causes him to smile. He tilts his head as you move one hand into his hair, tugging at the shorter, loose strands at the back of his head. The meeting between you goes from innocent and hopeful to passionate and desperate in a matter of moments. As the kiss deepens, it seems you've both forgotten that you're standing in the middle of a busy street. 
Eventually, when you both pull away due to lack of oxygen, Zen pulls you closer and buries his head into your shoulder. He crushes you against him as you gasp for air, wanting to have you even closer but never getting to the point where he's satisfied with the distance between you.
"Do--Do you remember now?" you whisper, happily feeling his speeding pulse as you rest your chin on his shoulder.
"Not everything," he replies, pulling back to stare down at you. "But I remember that I love you. I remember MC, and I feel--I know there's so much more than that. Do you think we can start from there, Jagiya? Maybe you can help me remember the rest?"
A different kind of tears prick your eyes, and a wide grin spreads across your face as you nod. "You know I will,” you breathe, standing on your tip-toes to give him another peck. "For you, my love, anything." 
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titsthedamnseason · 6 years ago
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why do you think *some* people cant quite get or grasp Julian's character? srsly, discuss, please, I wanna know ur opinion or if you ever thought about it cause I have my theories and I want to get more opinions cause it's important, it's kind of a "research" for a project of mine, it would help me out a lot to have your 2 cents on the matter ^^
youve already gotten some top tier responses about this issue that i wholeheartedly agree with but! i’ll try
i feel like a lot of it comes down to a misunderstanding of his character to be honest. ive seen a lot of people say they used to like or not mind julian, but as the series progressed and he started getting somewhat morally questionable that declined. when you understand the full capacity of julian’s actions and the reasons behind them, it seems perfectly reasonable that he’d be willing to lie and go to extremes for his family. however, without grasping the full weight of his situation, it’s easy to say “he’s evil” or “he shouldnt be doing that” when, compared to someone who sees the difficult spot julian has been put it, it seems more logical and makes more sense. 
i think this may be an issue for people who hadnt read tmi in a while, or never had at all, who never saw innocent and loving jules that just didnt want his family to be separated. without seeing how he was forced to kill his own father, how desperate he was to keep his family together and the weight that running an institute and raising four kids carries, it may all seem inconsequential and as if he’s just doing “bad” things for the sake of it. 
something else that plays into this is perhaps his more undercut actions. there are a handful of other characters (kaz brekker, kell maresh, victor vale, to name a few) that are considered morally gray as well and yet are widely praised for it. these characters commit their “morally gray” (but honestly borderline evil in some cases) actions much more obviously. they do it through murder, through flashy acts of violence, etc. the way in which julian is morally gray is through plans and schemes that all happen in his head and are never physical. although what he’s doing is nowhere near as bad as what these other characters do, his mental capacity frightens people and maybe seems worse because of the thought that goes into it. not to say that kaz brekker doesnt think before killing someone, but it is clearly less of a process and not as obvious.  
another factor i would say plays into it is rosastairs, which i recently discussed as well. i think sometimes when people ship something noncanon, they look for it in canon and try to read between the lines to find it. as a result, i find that a lot of rosastairs shippers wound up not liking julian under the thought process that emma didnt actually love julian and that his manipulative nature had only made her think so, which is a clear contradiction of the text, something that is irrelevant to people looking to push aside julian so their ship can be complete. 
something else that seems to be true is that julian hate seems to spread like a disease. people who were neutral about or even like julian sometimes curve towards disliking him after seeing such strong negative opinions on him. people see words like “manipulative” or “problematic” and their instinct is to lean away rather than accept a morally gray character because they want what’s easy. it’s much easier to pass off julian’s actions as being blatantly evil or wrong, but it’s much harder and takes much more thought and effort to say “hey, maybe this was his reason” or, “he didnt have much choice because of x, y, and z” and truly analyze the depths of his character. it’s easier to peg someone as being just good or bad rather than acknowledge the area in between just because no one has really figured out what exactly that area entails yet. 
a good example of people misunderstanding julian in general would be him killing his father. that sentence alone sounds awful without context, but when you get the full scope of how his father had become endarkened and was trying to kill julian and all of his younger siblings, it seems much less horrible on julian’s end, and even makes the reader sympathize with him instead of his endarkened father. so many of julian’s so called “questionable” decisions can be broken down like this when you take the time to look and understand that not everything should be taken at face value. 
lastly, i think it comes down to the fact that he is a straight white male. to begin with, people are turned off to characters that fit this description, something that is understandable to a degree. most of the time im wary of characters with the aforementioned attributes however i do try and keep an open mind. in julian’s case and with many other characters, it did not seem that people did that. when it comes down to it, if julian was a girl, if julian and emma’s roles were reversed, if julian was actually the father of the blackthorn kids, no one would hate him the way they do now. they would “understand,” they would make excuses, they would praise a morally gray female character. in julian’s case, they just see an asshole male teenager who’s horny for his best friend and creepily paints pictures of her, never mind the way he was forced to grow up through his responsibilities, genuinely loved emma and yet kept it a secret, clearly struggles w mental health etc. 
at the end of the day if youve really taken time to read this whole thing it seems safe to say:
i think we ALL love julian blackthorn 
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lsttcs · 4 years ago
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The foliage has a day job and the garden is equally split between foliage with a nighttime propensity. It is all stacked impossibly as the pictures show. The snow is ice and will be their till stamped into ice further, not till it becomes water. That is to think the gardeners should trust new the way they’ve amassed based on this plot to a completely filled center, brimming for the season in what we know caters to those that need to be buried under the snow, the plants, of course. Said past lives, it was not given what the gardeners used exactly to fertilize, but as a fellow winter being who is vastly experienced in the outdoors, I knew fully that it was something that was never a part of my life. I was mightily above all they had grown and had never experienced it till being taken on my favorite of gardens, a grand stroll. If they had not been able to do such work the garden would not be so high. Beautiful, hints, and winter wind. Only one packet of seeds. I won’t let on so obvious but I might have seen a packet. Without a doubt, many plants. 
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The capabilities of Hoboken NJ to entertain supposed aliens is magnetic and trenched. They spray from beer taps onto would be journalists as I sit near there. It’s so nice being a drink. That’s how good the locals and commuters are. They always give me a good drink. I’m careful not to spill it on my pants so they don’t robe me over to the conviniently named cobbler, twee to my hair. Let’s drop the prices and abolish the ones just take them apart, the ones that shouldn’t be. This is humanity. This is existence.
Incubations on the Incubation through for such sexualities and identities popular of conga, relay, and rhombi Set in times are
easily identifiable. To make warmth towards the easiest far away but still identifiable to a pillow or comforter has term lengths of dunce and approbations towards said fillings we are always after. Who ate my truth? After or, dim toss, ring’s slide. Then and only then, we can deal with even more arduous of effort and strain as we have been taught to. As we have been? 
Every Moment Since I Bought A Slipper
Man predicts early wave but is infested by catering gravy. He gets as passionate as anyone and many people learn in similar ways that he has already womped in love after the torture of his life and slips on a skateboard, he’s two and the ocean is salty. His tears are for the skate board’s girl, his love 
Alarm Clocks Growing the Very same Phospori of our Sleep State
Eats at a restaurant and never goes home. Not in this world. Every happy knock and a bedazzled shelf of gravity. Catering in and we can only critique value or aesthetic of drawn, split, megaphones. Everyone knows okay. The waiter is coming. His alarm clock went off and he grit the truth. The number. He’s awake. 
Day itch Doing Friday Comes Out
To collect stamps can ford a lifetime passion. It makes irrelevant the rain drops. Stamps as repeating. A collection. Less and you first should be the motto when they get as many as scale. The thing should hold, needs the very least, the idea of upkeep. The thing is. I don’t know and yours, there are many. To collectors of this past one, some were free and some, encased; as them all, we were looking. 
Heh Wireless Derelict Object Carrier
“Today. Screams shrill as confetti. Tomorrow. Pukes floral as friendly. “There’s a phone between it™️””
Guy Windows
Averse to choices? No but averse to over promotion. One guy won the heat because he was able to fit into, “the point of his life is, you can’t tell what I’m saying.” We take backtracks as he did. We make ledges fit to windows, sit in them. They are temperature tested. And yes, blinds can be installed. He rode off on his bicycle. Did you see? See our values. Don’t absorb the wrong truth and block to the right sound pollution. We are the best. Don’t cater to the other guys? Windows.
At the
To fix the
“Tell the Pebble”Mustache Discourse /shared dances
To save a failing crime script writer
Crime PubJudiciaryService Dance Lessons and TV. Or is it a dual write?
Heh Wireless Derilict Object Carrier
“Are our target audience’s desires for animated sitcoms on plastic and f-hemming corpses as dissuaded Freudian from said Sitcom on Chia-Pets? No. Your calls are our priority?”Can we bless it Treesing?””
Ouch My Exclamation now
You put the healing touch as your only chip and they rummage through gi-joe merchandise. Okay so all the pain pills to deoxidze body h20 were so when they put you at the wrong task you can mess up by someone you’re helping but, one masseuse too spurred. So it’s an old icon. Define time. Did they know you? I think I know they made me do this. Smile goes here so no spokes image. Speaking non-fissures of living sculpture don’t want their metrics speaking unless it’s in the right, crack? At least sometimes. So save some. Downed vacation rain. I like that form of intellectual bunk bed streaming too. To be good and decent of course. Work me wrong, I’m still working for us at our best. Loads six sheets in a shoe and still.*Saetia - the burden of reflecting *https://youtu.be/q_XryN5y6PE *Saetia a Retrospect - Track 12 *hehehe. I must add. For my own as others and honesty. I have been every living moment, fascinated in bliss and trust when people do that spit squeeze motion into their palmed hands. At the end of that long piece. War to perfect desire. It’s a branch grow. Present? ALWAYS PEACE. Byeeeee anti spelling suave. From you tube, facist mind.
Adverbs renamed. This is _getting long_. First fail, FDA? Just smoke is all the sign of what can be helped and they invite me to roast and they’re not one, so, you. It. As always. Sleazy, looks like it wandered in here from some other dimensional sect. Viggim. Is not the name of the poison nor the mod. They say they’re not strong and we get The Beings. There is goo in sex and cigarettes and I am mad at capital property- them.
Decomposing, Covers
A pristine vitamin or gristle preventative foray into the discourse of Spiritualism and Matchmaking. By the stolen cubby closet and the Spacht grid. A Mufflers live action rendition. <italic>available at most major wireless cable services</italic> a bring the living room to theater experience and the most welcoming and quality Continental experience. 
Young Boy Creates Classless Torture Capital Bodily Correction Wave Over A Cashier. At Exactly the normalized peak holiday gathering time
A major conference populated locality was all watching related intel units of prime directive service, eating and littering ultarista brand packaging and depositing the tubular material stuff in the crevices of an electric dryer and washer store at the pro sports homing location. One was reported initiating a belly button prodding movement while the most patriotic and civilian of festivities carried on. “It was the only thing I want till I’m dead and whatever’s next” cried a boy, brought to a shear fit of tears by men glistening in the love of the show. Storms canceled but tables were served. Seeded versions (sponsored) in standard everything, “The Moon is A sticky note. Eat seeds, eat bud”
At approximately 9. Yelled 3numbers. Strange, 7. 
And the servings of the mutt-re paired well. Everyone reaches towards there is some times a beaming glisten of oil on the balsamic vinegar They Yelp without end to repair us into conspiracy with our, orbiting familiars of popularity, though we cannot stomach the distaste in such a great place. This is the last. I would. Croutons have salads sometimes. Cigars? We couldn’t tell. Napkins masked with parsley. 
Finishing clean hands
We destand the hand. We when we ate the star of the page. Disappearing. Always in there. There’s a story in this. Two people made it. One put it on for the holidays, the other well
A great clean advertisement. 
From the wind in the not angry enough internet, bar , groves
“a boy
A cold freezin' night
Holy cow!
Why do you always get away with things?
It's not fair, I tell ya. It's not fair
I wanna blow your brains out with...
I am gonna kill you
I need to think of something, so you stay alive
As long as I want you to, because so I can kill you
You are such an idiot idiot idiot idiot
I can kill you with a rifle...”
One Has >Wireless
We r ready. Grab locks. Eat. A tower. Ice ice baby. Ice ice ice baby. Best term ever. Songs reclassified. You’re okay but I think they’ve released this. I hope they have the amply. Sandwiches small. I’m getting smaller and crushed. So you’re okay? Yeah I know what I want. 
Heh Derlict Object Wireless Carrier
Is a subsidiary. They have not created anything. That’s why located where the zeros ate wooden hands. That is a National Bank. Subsidiary capitalized. We have no money. They will be located. The olddddd call coming in says where we looked just changed never. Just new. We are a bank frenzy turned it off. We were punched, locations. We do that too. But it’s dark. Took the score zero score half eight you can do it yourself with our body loud phones, it’s dark now, take a crisp !!!!ring your own neighborhood we got! Well, try our green Patented Pay Single Payers. It can’t be made nice but forgetting this is more. This is the standard. Coal Tunes™️ on your keys. Loose but quote the precedent, but the other guy “synonym dumb name, wait, no it’s your closed”. Winter small town, I would bank for more than a color scheme, I would bank for your money. Be nice to balances, easily, as so very nice to banks, ringing.
Stalk Recovered Albo
Belly buttons. Album. -punc-/(in clarity lesions)
A r of trail Kafka Decal. Lob
on cle auto correct criges
Fire advert Soon
4 every moment Alone
Recovery and eats. A job with lunch. A stat, a whole lot of all you can crimshae Laughing, waiter, laughing, eating. Will this break divider? Called next meal, sitting, eats. Ghost motion famous? Plates, construction. Different place. Tried to say better place. Eats. They don’t love you. ‘S. Kiss the chef. 
Heh Wireless Derelict Object Carrier
We remember when hands free was invented. And remember past drives for important communications. Not early reprocessing of service that drops. To place you in a new career. Your own maintenance and engineering drives valued. Not leadings around to drop service and taking care of that, and, that. Our fascination. Quality.
Low lige’s fooce Mobile
Temp stop getting in here. We wait to congregate and warm same as you all. Ask the major motions. Okay so we have streaming Sandler accent and a lack of prison. Well when we get home. A thought is “just is just unreal”. “Thing” is heard””. We like them and don’t say compatriot. Share the wealth, call someone.
The Inboaseraewerg fu fu Binder Company
Th<z_html>is Is
The future<z?_a_ref>stub 
note
rejline
strudded
Weight
Body
Heh Derelict Object Wireless Carrier
Can’t we all live healthy? That Sideshow Bob is Otto and of course Homer J Simpson is smart. More than that, Homer never has burped. It’s a growl. He’s that smart. The world sucks. Subscribe. Stealing possible secret thinking formulas for the future of your connectivity. So you don’t have nothing but two beers and headphones. We have high tech. 
On Fast Moving
We don’t keep foul, one... Second. Four. To be more like our parents we plume cornucopias shrewdly for a real and a stadium seating on what we don’t understand. The basis is, they both win. At least one fan, so honor your mother and father too. On the song lyrics page, incubus tells you, use whole wheat. That’s how irrigation. Itineraries, tape cassette fascination.  
Objective of States unstated of Obscura
People without non grata complexes surrounding them have a hard time understanding angles and momentum in mirror and cosm of image reproduction. They think their beauty marks stated at conferences and converges always glow and beacon as a Statue of Liberty. Let us hope for a poem. So we can gobble up every one. Those with their own holidays... Cautious, cautious. What’s truisms. Those at the snuff and settings. Is there?
No Hop Method
Runs around the date that we all can trust in our inferences as needed for those in the box to shit them selves. A fair game. Then they delayed. Some people have won here, many victories. Ask if they found the reason cameras are humilic and we learn about them in stages or threshes. And that moment has it’s own elite. The motif and the pair. They both won that’s what makes this game take some time. The minus system deserves more credit but stereo is important. Everything is. Examine every pebble on every box to be back next time. I want to dates with the score so to comparing blindly, I still have not been and this I am not, but I am not kidding, the next sport
There’s no point inning
Cleans with the favorite. Favorite rat tail league smile. Breaking the function of slyabels won’t get there. Quiet. Great “bounce minus”. Great bounce bounce bounce.cs A glitch we always hit. Czautocloud. Into the sky and the cloudy paper non rearing of bold blooming in meta sexuality. He ran the whole enforcement of a stranger. A sector of regimentology. Let’s hope they zap love through beer hoses because this guy is going up to bat again. Lives in a hotel. Okay perfect sport. Well my friends are from there. You are truly an expert. In the American League and National league. We. Have fun. We. Have fun. When is he at the home? The American League? I am humilic.
Jalopy Tube jumps Obscura
Everyone gathered around the lake. They thought they were being curt to the extreme sport, Jalopy Smith. It was extreme. They gathered around the best possible solutions, zero carbon laughable oververt, a cough that he thought was extreme and not paying attention, one judge gave him a ten, he thought, he laughed. The other judges gave him nines. They were from different places. Looking at it I thought it was a bit askew. A move as ordered and expected on this outrageous lake terrain park. The fans will freeze their scores off to vote again. Thank god they weren’t in that childishly fabricated judge’s room. Everyone got through. Some had a devilish fascination with the three foot wall ride that no body talked about the lack of reality of.
There Doing this Without Me Valet Company
Don’t forget our hand. Stick it in there yourself? That our job. Experience with runaways crates and cartons. Experience with bumpers, holes, and true grace of automobile handling. Based in the greater Bergen, Hudson, Passaic, Essex- county areas. Call Mr Hughes to talk about our arrangements. 201 463 4224. Verizon Wireless. Service rates may apply. Nothing to get me in the state to face these people horrible people? Hostage to framework? Not our problem? Give us a call.
Curtain Call At my or less the Oarless Raiser
A notebook owner once wrote about a dining experience where you threw silverware on a ballast to raise dining areas. Over half a decade has past and we still find people that can’t properly wash their utensils. Whose to blame, we’ll rewrite it for them. Stuff yourself. At least the flowery smelling well groomed cleaners clean the ceiling. They did it then and they’ll do it again. We’re going down there.
With movies like “the Man from Toronto”
on the horizon it could be supposed there is a strong pull within Hollywood to molt the experience of watching and performing in a movie. With our current world, it must be asked first, what kind of movies, and how wise? Well the best and most genious surely. But what do we fear from what we love and what initiative could give this, it’s gold, it’s chrome? It’s a good time to pose for a Polaroid, a Kodak, but with the difference in terms and uneasy projecting, would a non-inclusive, not humane approach to this “fín”, bring forth the worst parts of living in a proximad boo for “film”. 
An Actual Momemt
“Can I order the Simpsons?”
“Hello?”
“Can I-“
“Playlist is highlited”
“As I’ve stated, on the couch.”
“I did not hear you”
“Page is buried”
“You’re going to miss it”
“I’ve heard you”
“Something is playing”
“It stayed with me”
“What was that?”
“Somewhere else”
An Actual Moment On the
Tramopoline
A Paper Straw by those who run the pressings
Can trick anyone. The waitstaff into thinking the place is a clock. Type of creed, old, never cooked, order everything raw. He’s getting perks and tips. Plus gets all the friendly company feeding him near Hollywood gusto and inspiration. Feels really timely and knows what to do there, walkers or customers, business and respect, by, and himself previously, by when the emu commercial plays. All chirps to sip soda. That’s the thing about the paper straw, I gladly ripped myself and I’m unhurt. Foods always good. Like where they put them. Table, straw paper, adigies on transversal that bolster the credits. I know where I am. Goo boy? Maybe I’ll get a desert pizza. Not sure if they have them. Some people say it’s a spell. There’s at least a few places. I like all the people, all the places everywhere!
Happily Stole word for Removing Items hotdog smell
This yarn stretches. As. And the only sentence is one word that’s why we bolster for you all and don’t demean except in vocation that “it affected you” you stole the tube, the sleeps scoop out of the brown yellow. Would one or the other so my armpits smell. Must have been the mood. Decor was laid and gritty.
A need to piss The First Los kind of Album Purchased
We hedge mamma bucks when we listen to falsetto so of course the true example true. Guitar and solo. A creed with a reference always verging due to hits like “cap’s lock - strawman guide” and discographies come to but it’s because not about that do some kids we’re freer and some kids were on the payroll. Let the most daunting album art not be our fate. Are they paid in their height? Some skateboarders aren’t. Let the first album purchased on its own ring true for once because each spanning is dynamic.and get/wizz. Another layer makes it more digital, your life, listen.
Left them burning Colored NAILS
It was an album of the year, people were screaming, without vice. Takes from a poisoning spree to send tracks like that and you that’s at the duals in multiple produced tracks. Remember when they just appeared? Some do before their time. We learned about bonding, melodies, loud, music. Remember when we had that device. There were clear identities. The punk and the state. Reminds, can’t always hear the words. When everyone got their day. Great part.
0 notes
firstpuffin · 6 years ago
Text
Checklist for the next series of Dragon Ball Super:
I believe I’ve made a few passing references to anime over my articles and recently even analysed a part of the popular series Dragon Ball. Given how big a part of my life it has been (getting me through the lowest part of my life) I’m kinda surprised that I haven’t spoken more about it, although that’s easy to justify: anime fans don’t typically represent themselves well. I wanted to establish myself before starting the nerd talk so as to avoid being associated with the weeaboo culture.
  Yes, I might be just a bit paranoid about how people view me, and yes that’s because I would absolutely do the same.
��Now that I’ve exposed my insecurities let’s introduce the actual article.
  The Dragon Ball story originally ran from 1986 to 1997 under the names of “Dragon Ball”, “Dragon Ball Z” (which you mostly likely know) and “Dragon Ball GT”. In 2015 “Dragon Ball Super” began, entirely new, apparently entirely ignoring GT and it… was divisive up until it came to a close in 2018. It followed the boy with a monkey tail and who later turns out to be one of the alien Saiyan race as he aimed to become stronger and stronger; long story short imagine Kal-El with a tail, training to reach the godlike power that he is so often portrayed with.
  I could go into how the series was rushed which caused the quality to suffer at the start or I could mention how the main character, Son Goku, suffered from writing that turned him from single-minded, smart but under-educated, into a bumbling fool and a poor misrepresentation of the character. But for such a negative person I do try to look forward into the positive.
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-Did… did they make him bigger instead of drawing him closer? -
pictures from otakutale.com
  No, I’m looking at what I want to see in the next series, should it happen. As with all stories that get me invested, there are a number of things that I want to see expanded on and events that I want to see happen. Just to be annoying these things don’t tend to happen, but I can always hope and here are a few that I would like to see.
Let’s start small; Bulma’s sister interacting with the cast:
  One of the main characters of the show is Bulma, who is also the one responsible for the story. When Bulma was sixteen years old she met Goku and she had been a regular character ever since, helping out with her brain (and wealth) while charming viewers with her vanity and sheer force of character. In a short spin-off we discover that she has an older sister who hasn’t turned up in the two decades since the story began.
  Her sister, who’s name I haven’t mentioned yet because I want to establish that she is a person and not an obscure sentient item of clothing, is called Tights and she is a writer who lives…somewhere. Tropical I think.
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-Tights in her first (I think) anime appearance-
  As she only really appeared in the spin-off it could be assumed that she isn’t “canon”, or part of the “real” story; however, she appeared briefly twice in Super, making her canon and also meaning that she even has a voice actor so it is now not only possible for her to appear in the story, but I’d even say it’s now expected. In the credits of the final Super episode she is even seen with the main cast so we know they’ve met.
  So why do I want to see this so much? Well, because I’m a big softy and I think it’d be cute. But also, I like character interaction and Dragon Ball has some very interesting characters. Heck, Bulma’s husband Vegeta is a godlike alien who once tried to destroy the Earth and actually killed her ex-boyfriend (don’t get any ideas). This means their children are half-alien which could be the cause of prejudice, and I always find the rejection of such things to be sweet, so I’d like to see that. On a similar note, it could also be cool to see Vegeta’s brother Tarble, but I don’t see that happening.
  I could go on but it’d be more of the same, which is why it’s only the first entry.
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Android 17’s family:
Another character who started off as an antagonist, No.17 soon became redundant when the true villain of the arc appeared and afterwards he followed his dream to be a park ranger. It’s kind of bizarre given his murderous tendencies at the beginning, but let’s just put that down to being an edgy teenager. His sister, No.18, was also a villain who was forgiven and she got hitched to another main character, Krillin. No.18 goes down in history as one of the few Dragon Ball wives who retain their personality after marriage, they have a kid and it’s a very sweet family.
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-androids 17 and 18 respectively-
  Perhaps I should mention that while they are referred to as “androids”, the siblings are actually modified humans although how they were modified and in what ways are not really explored.
  Anyway, No.17 disappears until Super where he becomes vital to the story, and we find that he has a family himself, including two adopted children which is…interesting. As I mentioned he first appeared with very little regard for life and in an alternate timeline he and his sister eradicated most of Earth’s population, so learning that he has adopted children shows a massive change that I want to see explored.
  Basically I want to see his family; the type of person that he would marry, the type of child he would have and how they get along with those they adopted. While we know he’s met Krillin and their child, they know nothing about his family and it could be really sweet.
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-Future No.17; Yeah, time (travel) changes everything-
The matured children:
This might sound a bit odd but those who have watched Super will understand what I’m getting at. Towards the end of the Z series our heroes have been pumping out children and despite Super apparently going on for a while two of these children just haven’t grown, physically or psychologically. One of them, Trunks, seemed to have some character development about mid-way but nothing has come of it, while the other, Goten, may actually have become younger.
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-to my eyes it’s not one growing but the other being shrunk-
  As fans we want to see these two grow up and become their own people and just to tease us further, at the end of Z there is a 10 year time-skip where we see them as adults. Now we’ve seen in the Dragon Ball series that as a Saiyan Goku develops slower than humans before having a sudden and extreme growth spurt, so maybe this is what’s going to happen.
  There is the possibility that as a children’s anime they want there to be young boys for the viewers to connect to; there are now the children Pan and Bra (I know it’s a weird name; remember Tights?) but they are both girls and Dragon Ball is aimed at boys so… This might be the way they are thinking, even if it’s kinda irrelevant considering the boys so rarely appear.
  It’s important to remember that the reason why the children don’t appear is exactly because they are children: in the final (for now) arc of Super they weren’t involved because they weren’t mature enough and every time that something interesting happens Goten can’t get involved because his mother Chi-Chi makes him study (like seriously! how often is Goten gonna get to meet a time-traveller? give him some freedom already!). But as teenagers they are just as useful as Goku was when the story started (he was twelve years old!) and we can start having some decent storylines with them.
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-Goten and Trunks after the timeskip-
More Saiyans:
The reason why changes depending on what the author wants, but the Saiyan planet was destroyed not long after baby Goku was sent away and there are only a few full-blooded Saiyans still alive, with two of them being killed within a year of us learning about Goku’s alien heritage. From memory, there are three full-blooded Saiyans currently (four if we include the latest movie) and one of them is never seen; there are five human-Saiyan children, one of which is second generation and I’m not sure how the genes would work in this case so I hesitate to call her “half-Saiyan”.
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-it was a good-looking movie, if a bit lacking in plot- gif from crunchyroll.com
  However! In the Dragon Ball universe it has been established that there are currently twelve universes (ignoring timelines because that’s just a mess) and at least one of which has a whole planet of Saiyans who evolved slightly differently. Our heroes have met three of these and there has been a promise to visit the planet. On top of this, we know from the Saiyan we don’t see and possibly from the movie I mentioned (and screw it, different timelines too) that there is the chance of Saiyans from the local universe surviving too.
  But why would I want to see this? After about two decades we’ve discovered that female Saiyans can achieve the famous Super Saiyan transformation (there was a surprising amount of debate on that) and we know enough stuff about the Saiyans from both universes, so what’s left?
  Character interaction, that’s what. The Saiyans we know are exceptional in talent and sheer motivation, so where they are all beyond planet destroying levels of strength and capable of the aforementioned Super Saiyan transformations, they may be the only ones who are at that level. Our heroes could go to this planet that is the mirror image to their own and the conversations would be fun, but so would seeing the locals react to the sheer power that Goku and friends have achieved; we’ve seen hints of this already, but more time could be spent here and with reactions on a greater scale thanks to the sheer amount of local Saiyans.
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-two very different histories of the same species-
  Is that it? Nope. So far both Goku and Vegeta have shown a very clear lack of interest in their own long dead people, but seeing an entire planet of their kin could awaken something in them. But their own planet is long dead, right? Except in the latest series they introduced the Super Dragon Balls (hence the series name) that can grant literally any wish (this power may be neutered at some point but we’ve seen seven universes get resurrected so…), including bringing a single planet back.
  And as I said, the Saiyans of each universe are very different so this war-like but relatively weak race would need putting in their place by our heroes, and that could be very, very fun.
 As you may have noticed I like characters and their interrelationships quite a lot. Thus it’s a shame that Dragon Ball is largely a dorky action series which doesn’t do much with families… heck, two out of the four wives I remember are just that: wives. The author has confessed to having difficulty writing women. Only Bulma and No.18 are anything more than just wives and mothers, and both of them are great! (no disrespect to wives and mothers, but Videl has lost most of what made her great in Z; and not because she’s a wife but because that’s all she is now)
  I’m going to leave it here for now as I have a few things I want to see and I don’t want this entry to go on for too long. Dragon Ball is a fun series if you just want to relax with something that isn’t too serious, and as long as you can let certain poorly-aged characters slide. Master Roshi is kinda…unpleasant; thankfully he doesn’t appear much later.
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-picture of Roshi- Just… just fuck this guy-
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deadcactuswalking · 6 years ago
Text
‘ZEZE’, The Perfect Trap-Rap Trainwreck. [REVIEW]
2018 has been a pretty odd year for popular music. I mean, it’s been pretty impressive too, tons of records are being broken right now, in fact, the song we’re going to talk about today has broken one of those records (although easily one of the least important ones). I’ll talk more about 2018 as a year overall when I make my best and worst lists (which, no, this song won’t be on either despite who made it), but let’s just focus on this one song, and how perfect it is – despite being freakin’ awful, generic and borderline unlistenable. Let me elaborate.
SONG REVIEW: “ZEZE” – Kodak Black, Travis Scott & Offset – Produced by D.A. Doman
What record did this break, do you ask? Well, with the advent of SoundCloud rap, mumble-rap and emo-rap becoming the new wave, some stranger music has crept onto the charts, whether it be because of its sound or background and/or origin story. Memes have gotten music popular for ages but a 90s Latin reggaeton/house track by the “Chacarron Macarron” guy which translates to “Give me your little thing” becoming a top 40 hit is relatively unheard of – this is especially weird because the remix with Pitbull was released way after the song blew up and then fizzled out. I know Pitbull was always on his way out and he’s basically now a living meme anyway but it’s still a shock to see stars I knew so well fade away like this – oh, yeah, and how does celebrity status and star-power matter even more than it ever has been and none at all at the same time? We’re about to get a Mia Khalifa diss track released in February by two teenagers after a fake tweet was posted by some Instagram page on the charts simply because of the power of some girl in cosplay lip-synching to the second (and more meme-able) verse on TikTok.
Hit or miss - I guess they never miss, huh? – Smoke Hijabi, iLOVEFRiDAY’s “Mia Khalifa Diss”
Yet we still can’t get rid of that pesky Drake rascal, hell, he nearly hit #1 again, this time entirely uncredited!
I did half a Xan, 13 hours ‘til I land / Had me out like a light, ayy, yeah – Drake, Travis Scott’s “SICKO MODE”
Last year we had the shortest song to reach the top 5 since the early 1960s, with “Gucci Gang” by Lil Pump, peaking at #3 despite a puny runtime of a mere 2 minutes and 4 seconds. Today, we’re talking about a song that peaked just one slot higher, and became the highest-charting song EVER on the Hot 100 that starts with the letter “z”. Yes, it’s an odd, unimportant and pointless milestone but it’s something nonetheless. Oh, but that’s far from the most interesting part of this song. Let’s talk about the production first, mostly because any time I can stall before talking about Kodak Black should be savoured greatly. It was produced by D.A. Doman, most known nowadays for that “Taste” song by Tyga, in fact, Tyga even remixed “ZEZE” because the beats were so similar, and there’s only one beat Tyga ever does all that well on – and it’s tropical synth-lead trap. The bass on “Taste” was mixed well, though. I feel like there’s too little here and it could do with some pumping up, although it does give the steel pans a very airy feel, to be fair, and those little tiny details like that funky synth that just kind of appears briefly as a speck in Kodak’s refrain are just really top-notch, and that catchy and clean vocal sample playing throughout the song pushes this beat into truly great territory. Hell, the beat was so good that it made the song a meme months before its release, where people added a caption to Kodak and Travis dancing very... interestingly to the song. There was also a teaser where it was just 40 seconds of the beat building up with people saying “f**k ‘em up, Kodak” in the background, and someone was dancing there too. I don’t know, all I know is that this beat is fantastic and... everyone’s gonna mess this up, aren’t they?
Well, Travis doesn’t, really, he’s just odd. After like 5 seconds of the beat without any percussion or bass, just the steel pans and basically no build-up excluding Doman’s producer tag, the catchy “D.A got that dope!” phrase, it goes straight into the beat, bass and all, as well as Travis’ vocals which have like twenty layers each of some gross autotune and reverb effects. Seriously, it’s slathered to hell and back with vocal manipulation and it’s really unpleasant, especially when it’s drowned in all these ad-libs. Let’s focus on the lyrics of Travis’ hook, though, because they’re really cute. It plays out as, to say it bluntly, “Baby’s First Rap Chorus”. All the clichés are there, but in their purest form.
Ice water, turned Atlantic (freeze!) / Nightcrawlin’ in the Phantom (skrrt, skrrt) / Told them hoes that don’t you panic
His wrist is froze because of his diamonds. He has a black luxury car, he’s lazily referencing his other, much better songs, and he has to add in those essential “skrrt, skrrt” ad-libs. Oh, well, at least there are attempts at being unique here, with the last line, especially since we can assume they’re in water here, so Travis desperately reassures the countless amount of women he is having sex with, “Don’t worry, it’s a Phantom! We’re not going to drown to our deaths!” And then he goes, “screw it”, and starts actually adjusting the Phantom so they have more space, thus his “hoes” do not die, depriving him of pleasure and satisfaction.
Dropped the roof, more expansion / Drive a coupe you can stand in (IT’S LIT!)
You know what, that’s a good idea, but, yeah, I’m kidding, it’s not that deep – it’s just that he’s driving fast. Of course it isn’t anything all too conceptual.
Took an island (yeah), flood the mansion (big water!)
Sorry, what was that last part?
(Big water!)
Big water? I mean, I know the line is about how he took a lot of producers and rappers to his ASTROWORLD sessions on a Hawaiian island or something, but is “big water” seriously something people say? It just seems so dumb and kind of childish. In fact, while we’re on the subject...
B****es undercover (in the sheets!) / I’m an a** and tiddy lover (big a**) / Guess we all made for each other
Rappers never really brag about taking time to appreciate the woman’s body whilst “in the sheets” but you know what, sure, I’ll take that, but the second line just potentially demonstrates the naivety of this chorus, like, it’s just pure rap cliché but in such a way that makes it seem like Travis is a robot that has been analysing rap lyrics and programming a very blunt and obvious bar that exemplifies that. Oh, and the last part is just a dumb filler rhyme, although it’s kind of funny to think about how it must be up to destiny that Travis’ girl has a big butt and he likes big butts.
Now that all the dawgs free (yeah, yeah) / And we out in these streets (alright) / Can you do it, can you pop it for me?
The robot theory is developed even further when we notice these two statements are entirely unrelated. My friends are free from prison, but we’re still in the streets, therefore, pop that kitty for me, girl. This is how the chorus ends too, it’s so anti-climactic, although I do want to point out that Offset more than makes up for Travis’ strange twisting of lyrical cliché, as his verse is pretty fantastic. The flow is great throughout, with some nice switches that keep the surprisingly long verse still feeling fresh and short by the end.
She an addict (addict)
Please don’t rhyme it with—
Addict for the lifestyle and the Patek (Patek), big daddy
Son of a—
Anyways, there are plenty of relatively memorable lines here that end up being pretty quotable, such as... UK football references?
In the middle of the field like David Beckham (field, bow-bow!!)
Oh, and they kind of explain what “ZEZE” means – it means “zombie”, a slang term for, of course, lean... because it’s 2018.
Pop pills, do what you feel, I’m on that zombie (hey, hoo!) / I’m more like Gaddafi, I’m not no Gandhi (Gaddafi, hey)
Oh, um, some of these lines come off as kind of rapey though, which is not the greatest tone to go for when you have a song with Kodak Black, to say the least.
I go in her mouth, she can’t tell me nothin’ (ugh, ugh, ugh)
Oh, and I guess it’s finally time to talk about the alleged rapist elephant in the room.
On my Kodak, woo, Black, ooh, know that – Childish Gambino, “This is America”
I’m not going to bring up his allegations anymore because frankly they’re completely irrelevant to his performance here, and all he actually adds to this review is proof for my conclusion: this song has so much good qualities, but they paint them in the grossest green colour possible. Each one of these guys just ruin the gifts they’re provided with. In fact, the beat changes for Kodak so he doesn’t sound as offbeat as usual, and, of course, it doesn’t work at all, he still sounds pretty terrible as always, but still, D.A. Doman switches up the beat slightly (which was near perfect as it was) to accommodate for the talentless and directionless ramblings of Mr. Kodak Black.
Pull up in a Demon, on God (on God) / Looking like I still do fraud (fraud) / Flyin’ private jet with the rod (rod) / This that Z-s**t, this that Z-s**t (this that Z-s**t)
Kodak is so unlikeable here. He sounds like he was on a news interview, with a noticeable Southern drawl, that went viral enough in 2011 to get an autotuned Songify This remix. Honestly, it sounds that painful of a vocal, and without the Gregory Brothers’ pretty great production and knack for melody, this is just a strain on both Kodak’s voice and my ear-drums.
I got the fire on me in BET Awards
I’m less surprised that you have a gun rather just that you’re allowed in the BET Awards.
In a Hellcat cos I’m a hell-raiser
Man, this song is robotically programmed, I swear! There’s no attempt at portraying any unique lyrical characteristics, personality or even a single attempt at interesting wordplay, rather we get a catchier version of Kodak’s typical topics, just in an even more boring flow this time, and delivered like he’s on pain medication... which is probably what they’re going for here. What a waste of a fantastic, beautifully-produced instrumental, one of the most diverse and unique trap-rappers out there in the form of Travis Scott, who is relegated to his awfully-written hook duty, and what a waste of that amazing Offset verse. Seriously, Offset, kick Kodak off, switch him for another awful human being, Tyga, and save this song (including Travis’ admittedly fun, albeit silly, hook) for your upcoming solo album. I can’t let Kodak Black own this song, it’s too good for him in concept. What a perfect trainwreck. Everything is given to them completely prepared and in good condition, and then they just trash it. This song is when you get something valuable or useful for a damn good price and your dog eats it within five minutes of you opening it.
Hit that Z-walk, Dickies with my Reeboks
Oh, come on, Kodak, I know I don’t like your song but you didn’t have to give me Vietnam flashbacks of Lil Dicky. That’s just not cool. See ya on Thursday, everyone. Peace.
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