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valcarolrights · 6 years ago

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100 Reasons.

This is my first attempt at a Carol x Fem Reader imagine 😅

"I know she has to go off and save the universe and all, but we're in a relationship for God's sake." You stress, Natasha's green eyes washed over with concern as she studies you intently, making a mental note to remove the alcoholic beverage from your hand. "I respect her job but it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

The Black Widow's eyes soften and she uses the gap to remove the glass bottle from your hand and set it down on the floor. "I'm sorry Y/N."

"I get I'm being selfish but am I not allowed to? Just like all those other people have issues, so do I, and I sometimes I just want to lay in her arms and tell her about my day or just sit in silence because I enjoy her presence you know?" you glance over at Natasha, noticing the smirk on her face. "What?" You ask, suddenly self conscious. You weren't one to complain but you'd fallen down the pit and just realized.

"Nothing. That was just really... Gay."

You chuckle and push her head away. "Shut up."

Natasha's giggles cease as she looks you over with concerned eyes. "Hey." she makes eye contact, gaining your full attention. "Talk to Carol about it."

"To do what? We're just going to talk and then she's going to go off and save the universe again."

"Maybe." Natasha shrugs. "But at least she'll know how you feel and be more considerate." the red head shrugged before moving her eyes back to the television set.

The following day, you danced on the balls of your feet as you stood a few feet behind Tony Stark. You couldn't lie and say you weren't excited about Carol coming home, but you'd decided that you were going to talk to her about your feelings, and truth be told, you were scared of how the message would be brought across considering your emotional state. You wanted her to know, but you didn't want to add to her load or come across as too aggressive.

"I can feel the excitement from here Y/L/N." Tony speaks up and you breathe out a chuckle.

"It's not everyday the love of my life returns from space." you shrug before looking upwards, awaiting Carol's arrival. Estimated one minute.

She lived at the compound, but spent most of the time at your place. She'd tried landing there once, but due to the excitement from getting to see you, almost destroyed your residence. So she stuck to landing at the compound. But you didn't mind going all the way over there, it was like picking her up from the airport.

"Yeah yeah, sap." Tony brings you closer by your shoulders just as the two of you catch the light entering the atmosphere. It becomes bigger and brighter and before you know it, a glowing Carol lands in a standing position a few feet away from you with a bright smile on her face.

Tony releases you and offers Carol a smile before bringing her in for a small hug. "Welcome home Danvers."

"Yeah yeah don't get all mushy on me now Stark." Carol rolls her eyes but accepts Tony's hug, letting out a peaceful sigh.

"Nope. Leaving all that for her." He nods his head towards you before leaving, muttering something to Friday.

Your eyes lock with her brown ones and her grin grows impossibly bigger. She launches towards you and pulls you into a tight hug, so strong it lifts you off the ground. You hug her back with the same intensity, drinking her in. Her scent, her feeling. You bring your hand up to her hair and exhale deeply, the moment you've been waiting for finally having arrived.

She pulls back and sets you back on the ground before giving you an award winning smile, tucking some stray hairs behind your ear. "Hey baby. Miss me?"

You sat on Carol's bed, unsure of how to start the conversation, so you picked at the burnt threads of her duvet, waiting for her to come out of the shower.

She finally emerged, rid of all her intergalactic germs with wet hair. She offered you a smile and fell down onto the bed in front of you with a groan. "I could so do with some sleep right now." she muttered into the comforter before pulling her wet hair into a bun.

You forced a smile as she laid across your stomach and closed her eyes. You cherished these moments - the ones where you could hold her close, or even were just together, but the fact that she couldn't spend time with you because she was tired from her mission reignited the fire you had shared with Natasha last night. You tried to convince yourself it wasn't that big of a deal and that you'd have the next few days to spend with the vibrant blonde, but that was just it - what until another mission came up.

"So how was the mission?" you prompted yourself to ask as you thread your fingers through her clean hair.

"Easy." your skin erupted in goosebumps as she spoke against your stomach. "Didn't take as long as I thought it would but on the way back, I came across a planet in crisis so I had to stop there."

"That was... Nice of you." your voice betrayed you and Carol noticed immediately, lifting her head with a deep frown.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no yeah. I'm fine." you try, but Carol knows better.

"Y/N." She warns and you give in.

"I miss you."

Her gaze softens. "I miss you too baby. But we're together now."

"No." your eyes avoid her confused ones as you try to keep your voice calm. "I miss you all the time Carol."

"Baby?"

You sigh and try to formulate your thoughts in a way to not offend her. She did just return from a mission and was tired but dammit you had feelings too.

"I know you have to save the world and everything and be a superhero but you do kind of have commitments here..." You begin, trying to steer her thoughts in the same direction as yours, but her brows furrow further. "Carol I'm your girlfriend and we're in a relationship... Yet every month you're off on some new planet and I'm here all alone. I get relationships aren't only about being physically affectionate but..."

"I thought you understood." She mumbles, finally catching on. "That I have extra responsibility. You said you were fine with that." she reminds you and you nod.

"I remember." you can't make heads or tails of her expression. "But like I said, I miss you."

"I miss you too, I miss you so much all the time but I do have a job to do." Carol sighs. She was really tired. You could see that and you could also feel the tension beginning to thicken.

"I know you have a job to do." you huff frustrated that the conversation was going in circles.

"So what do you suggest? That I stop?" she asks in disbelief and you close your eyes momentarily, trying to calm yourself.

"No. I'm just asking for a little more time with you every month. I see you for like five days a month." you feel the tears beginning to pool in the corners of your eyes and watch as Carol nods slowly.

"So you want me to abandon all those people who need help and homes just so you can cuddle and make out a little more?" she scoffs and you swallow hard. This is what you wanted to avoid.

"No." your voice starts to betray you, as does your vision. "But you can't act as though the universe is your responsibility alone. You can't fix the whole universe by yourself Carol."

"I can try." she grits out through her teeth before getting up from the bed and straightening her back out. "You know you were all I could think about on the mission. I just wanted to come home and be with you and relax. But you're building barriers."

"No." you shake your head at the blonde as you mirror her position. "You laid the foundation. It's fine for you to be upset about this, I get that I kind of ruined your expectations. But you can't expect me not to have feelings either." you add before grabbing your keys.

"Where are you going?" she asks, watching you with mild concern.

"I'm going home Carol. So you can rest before your next mission." you nod at her, feeling like it was the right thing to do, before bidding her farewell. "Good luck."

It had been a few days since you'd spoken to Carol, over a week. She wasn't one to apologize, being the hard headed one in the relationship, but you weren't going to apologize either, dismissing your suppressed feelings once again.

Your finger hovered over her contact details before your thumb scrolled downwards and you clicked on Natasha's contact. You put the phone to your ear and waited. After three rings, the assassin's sultry voice filled your ears. "I was just about to call. Movie night?"

"Movie night." you confirm.

"I'm glad you spoke to her about your feelings." Natasha voices her opinion, the movie long forgotten as she notices your blank expression most of the time. "Even if it did cause a rift, she needed to know."

"I thought you were Team Cap." you joke and she chuckles.

"I am. But I'm team Y/N too." she smiles at you sweetly.

"Thats good to know." you return her smile before sighing. "How is she though?" you were burning to know.

"Quiet." Natasha sighs. "Closed off. But she went back out this afternoon, maybe she'll have a revelation."

"I doubt. But thanks." you force a smile as you grow sad. Carol left without saying goodbye. She'd always say goodbye. No matter the situation.

You dropped your keys into the bowl as soon as you locked the door and immediately picked up the door stop. Something didn't feel right.

Not that the doorstop would do anything but it was the closest weapon you had. You held the stop in one hand and used your other to feel for the light switch. As soon as you hit it, light filled the room and your eyes grew wide at your living room being covered in sticky notes.

You put down the doorstop as soon as you noticed Carol's sloppy handwriting and picked a note off of the couch.

31. Your smile.

You frowned in confusion and picked one up off the tv.

52. The way you watch movies with me even though you've seen them a long time ago.

You move into the dining room and pick a blue note off the table.

78. You look amazing wearing my clothes.

You move to go into the kitchen, but there's a note over the light switch. You pick it up and read it.

92. You always let me win in video games I don't understand.

You smile at the memories, still not understanding the context of the situation but when you finally put the light on, you see your kitchen littered with sticky notes. All over the cupboards and fridge. You notice a huge one on the fridge.

A Hundred Reasons Why I Love You.

You smile broadens as you pick up the note directly underneath it.

67. You make me a better person.

You glance down at your hand and place all the collected notes on the counter top before hearing a noise from deeper in the apartment. You immediately pick up the pan and raise it to defend yourself, but lower it when you see Carol's glowing form.

"Easy there." she smirks, coming closer as you set the pan back down. "So I only wrote out one hundred, but there are far more in my head."

"Oh yeah?" relief washes over you as you feel a normal setting descend upon the room. "Like what?"

"Like how you take such good care of me when I come home. You always make sure I'm fed, clean and comfortable even if you have work the next morning." she inches closer. "How you never make fun of me for not understanding modern references like the others and instead explain it to me." she stops glowing and your breath hitches as she looks into your eyes.

"How you aways manage to make any place we're in feel like home." she continues, stopping just short in front of you. "How you suppress your feelings to consider mine." she digs into her jeans pocket to hand you a sticky note.

You take it, not missing the heat from her hands she claimed only happened when you were around. Your eyes watered as you read the note with your eyes.

100. Because you always wait for me.

"Nobody has ever invested this much into me." she admits, bringing a hand up to scratch at her head, her nerves beginning to show. "Nobody has ever spent this much time with me or loved me or cared for me like you do. It was a luxury at first and then I began to take advantage." she looks down at her shoes in disappointment.

Your heart ached. This is exactly what you wanted to avoid. You didn't want to make her feel bad.

"Carol-"

"-And I'm sorry. You're right. We are in a relationship. I love you." she brings her eyes back to yours, causing the thundering in her chest to intensify. "I'm sorry I've been such a dick. And I can understand if you want to break it off with me because no person deserves to be treated like this."

You smile at her before taking the step forward, diminishing the space as you brace your hands on her shoulders. On instinct, she places her hands on your hips. You raise your hands and rest them on her face, moving it slightly to get a good view of her watering eyes. "Hey." you brush a thumb over her cheek. "You're stuck with me." you say in a serious tone.

"Carol I love you so much. I love you enough to wait for you like an idiot at every month." you inform her. "I didn't tell you because I want to end the relationship or cause a fight. I told you because I love you and I miss you and I want to spend more time with you. That's it. But this gesture? Really sweet."

"Right? Took me some time. But I really enjoyed making them." she admits before sighing. "I'm sorry. I promise to take you into consideration more."

"Thank you. Apology accepted." you smile before leaning in and giving her a soft kiss. When you lean back, you see her eyes are still closed with a small smile playing on her lips. "Idiot." you mumble before giving her another kiss. "I thought you had a mission by the way." you frown.

"I did." she says nonchalantly before bringing you in for a proper kiss. "Mission accomplished."

#carol danvers #Carol x reader #Carol/Reader #MCU #FxF #CAPTAIN MARVEL #Captain Marvel x Reader #Captain Marvel/Reader

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bookstantrash · 3 years ago

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“So late that the school had called not only him, but also the front desk of the place where he worked when he hadn't answered the call on his personal phone. Sorscha, his assistant, had entered his office with an embarrassed smile on her lips, as if she didn't want to tell him that he had forgotten for the umpteenth time to pick up his daughter from school.” — ROWAN HOW CAN YOU FORGET TO PICK UP YOUR OWN CUTE SWEET DAUGHTER

“Lorcan had joined him, for some strange reason, but Rowan had stopped bothering when it came to his best friend. He'd been trying to figure out how he reasoned for years and had come to the conclusion that there was no logical sense in the actions of the man sitting next to him, who was currently singing at the top of his lungs to one of the songs on the Frozen CD - which much to the chagrin of both of them, had gotten stuck in his car radio months before, forcing them into hours of torture.” — Lorcan,a huge menacing guy that only wears black SINGING LET IT GO AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS HAHAHAHA I LOVE IT

“Hello, little bird," he murmured to her. The child's smile widened even more if that was possible. — excuse me while I turn into jelly and a pile of marshmallow

“Rowan turned just in time to see Lorcan grab Robyn in mid-air, spinning her around as he brought her to his chest and showered her with kisses. The loud, incessant laughter that erupted from her seemed too much coming from that fragile little body, but he never tired of hearing it.” — Lorcan is the favourite uncle. Sorry Fenrys, I don’t make the rules.

“Liar, he told himself. Robyn hadn't spoken to anyone but him and Lorcan since the day Lyria had died. It wasn't a difficulty, but a response to the trauma that prevented her from speaking to anyone who wasn't part of her immediate family.” — I knew it was too happy to he true. You just had to sprinkle angst there

“Rowan. Please, call me Rowan." he said, clearing his throat once he realized how hoarse it sounded to his ears. Lorcan walked up to them at that point, still holding Robyn in his arms and positioned himself next to him, letting their shoulders touch in a comforting way. — Okay Rowan and Lorcan’s brotop is so damn cute I love how they got each other’s back

“I love this," Lorcan whispered, laughing in shock. He turned to Rowan with eyes that sparkled with amusement, "I would definitely be the top." — HAHAHAHA I AM DYING DYING I SAY

Rowan took a deep breath, bracing himself, "No, I meant, we're not a couple. We're not gay. He's her uncle." — poor Rowan, getting his chance with Aelin going down the drain

“I know you're not supposed to eavesdrop but I stopped by earlier and heard you were a couple of dads," she said by way of introduction. "I just wanted to reassure you that the school is an extremely safe place. I'm the one who did most of the interviews with the parents," that's where they had met then, "and one of the questions that is asked is just about the tolerance of the people who will be attending the school." — ELIDE AHSHSHDHD OMG THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUN

“We are very much not gay, miss!" he shouted into the hallway. Aelin, now beside him and with a hand on Robyn's shoulder, cackled. With Lorcan's infinite luck, someone walked by just then and gave him a stern look. "Oh, shut up ma'am. I'm an ally. The best ally." — SERVES YOU RIGHT LORCAN JESUS I AM CRYING LMAO

Rowan shook his head as Lorcan launched himself in pursuit of the poor teacher and burst out laughing when he heard him shout, "I'm not homophobic! I'm willing to suck someone's cock if I have to prove it to you!" — Lorcan sorry to inform you but that’s taking the ally thing way over the top. And it does sound slightly homosexual. It’s okay, you can admit you’re bisexual, we’re still gonna love you

And as if those words had summoned him, Lorcan appeared beside the car, making them both scream. He entered the car in a heartbeat and turned to his daughter, who was still settling into the seat. "Do you know Miss Lochan?" — Lorcan? Didn’t your mean Azriel the spymaster, running around and scaring everyone. HE IS NOW GOING TO USE ROBYN AS MEANS TO GET TOGETHER WITH ELIDE AHAHAHAH

This was so funny and cute and adorable and I needed it after the huge pile of angst you dropped on me with the hockey rowaelin

Robyn

Rowaelin Month, Day Ten

A/N: I'd planned on posting them in order, but you get what you get. Idk when the other prompts will come tbf. I hope soon. Anyway, I managed to write over 6k words today and I'm pretty fucking proud.

This is just fluff over fluff, so yep enjoy!!

Word count: 3,047

Rowan was unbelievably late as he sped through the streets of Orynth.

So late that the school had called not only him, but also the front desk of the place where he worked when he hadn't answered the call on his personal phone. Sorscha, his assistant, had entered his office with an embarrassed smile on her lips, as if she didn't want to tell him that he had forgotten for the umpteenth time to pick up his daughter from school.

Lorcan had joined him, for some strange reason, but Rowan had stopped bothering when it came to his best friend. He'd been trying to figure out how he reasoned for years and had come to the conclusion that there was no logical sense in the actions of the man sitting next to him, who was currently singing at the top of his lungs to one of the songs on the Frozen CD - which much to the chagrin of both of them, had gotten stuck in his car radio months before, forcing them into hours of torture.

He would never deny that the songs were all quite catchy, but after the sixteenth time Rowan had had to listen to Let It Go at maximum volume, his positive opinion of the film had begun to waver.

As they pulled into the school parking lot, Rowan noticed with deep regret that the only cars still there were those of the teachers and school staff.

They both got out of the car, Rowan walking quickly towards the entrance while Lorcan dragged behind him.

He greeted the caretakers sitting at the entrance, who returned a big smile. A smile that grew even wider when his large, imposing friend entered a few moments later. He stopped to talk to the old ladies and Rowan walked down the corridor he knew led to Robyn's classroom.

He could hear muffled voices from inside the teachers' room on the left and the one he knew belonged to Miss Galathynius coming from the right. He looked out over the classroom, spotting the two people sitting at a desk.

As soon as his daughter saw him, her eyes widened and a huge smile flashed across her face.

No words. No "hello, daddy!" or "I missed you!" from the little girl.

Her teacher turned as she leapt out of her chair and ran towards him, hugging his legs and looking up at him. Rowan smiled at her in turn, running a hand over her hair that was shot in every direction.

"Hello, little bird," he murmured to her. The child's smile widened even more if that was possible.

The woman a few feet away from them pulled herself upright, crossing her arms over her chest and offering a sincere smile to the child, who hid behind his thighs.

Rowan was about to tell her that Robyn was shy with everyone like this, ready to defend his daughter's behaviour as he was used to doing in front of every adult, but he was beaten to the punch.

"It's good to see you, Mr Whitethorn," she said, extending a hand. Rowan shook it without hesitation. "Actually, I just wanted to write you a letter regarding Robyn," she continued, never taking her eyes off the little girl. "Nothing serious," she hastened to reassure him when Rowan grimaced, "quite the contrary. Robyn is remarkably good. One of the best in the class, though I shouldn't offer that information so bluntly."

Miss Galathynius winked at him, but he couldn't process what he'd just been told.

"Sorry, could you-"

The little hands clamped around his trousers tightened a fraction more and Rowan looked down, trying to figure out what was bothering his daughter, but then something happened that he hadn't even dared to dream about in recent times.

"You're here!"

The little girl broke off and ran away from him in less than the blink of an eye.

Rowan turned just in time to see Lorcan grab Robyn in mid-air, spinning her around as he brought her to his chest and showered her with kisses. The loud, incessant laughter that erupted from her seemed too much coming from that fragile little body, but he never tired of hearing it.

"Why hello baby!" said Lorcan laughing in turn, starting to tickle her until she begun to rebel and he was forced to let her slide to the floor. Robyn was still laughing at the top of her lungs and nearly fell to the ground as she squealed left and right, letting herself be pushed around by the closest thing to an uncle she had ever had.

When Rowan turned back to the woman, she was wide-eyed and her lips slightly parted as she watched the massive man dressed completely in black and the menacing face turn into a completely different person the second he had seen Robyn.

He chuckled, "I know, it's not every day you get to see a little girl be so comfortable with a brute like that."

Lorcan, who was listening to everything, looked him straight in the eye and without stopping smiling and playing with the little girl, mouthed to him to fuck off.

"Well, yeah. You caught me a little off guard." she confessed, still shocked to hear how Robyn was having a full conversation with Lorcan. They couldn't hear anything of what she was actually saying, but even just the fact she was talking to someone seemed to have Aelin unsettled.

She returned her attention to Rowan and let out a breath that sounded more like a giggle, "I've never heard her laugh before."

He nodded, blushing a little at the teacher's surprised but relieved tone.

"I'm sure the dean warned you about the problem she has," he said in a low voice. He grimaced at her poor choice of words, "I mean, not problem, but the difficulty she finds in interacting with people she doesn't know."

Liar, he told himself. Robyn hadn't spoken to anyone but him and Lorcan since the day Lyria had died. It wasn't a difficulty, but a response to the trauma that prevented her from speaking to anyone who wasn't part of her immediate family.

"I know, I know. We've been looking for solutions together." she informed him. "I give her a white board every morning. Come on, I'll show you." she turned to the desk they were sitting at earlier and raised the magnetic board, on which a few words were scribbled on. "I'll write here what she might need. Yes. No. I need to go to the bathroom. I'm thirsty. I'm hungry." she read, listing the various options. Rowan gaped. "We've only just started going over the alphabet for a second time, so she can't really read or write yet, as I imagine you know, but the little drawings next to each sentence help her."

She continued talking, but he couldn't quite follow.

The woman in front of him - aside from being breathtakingly beautiful - had done as much as she could to help her child with communication.

"Mr. Whitethorn-"

"Rowan. Please, call me Rowan." he said, clearing his throat once he realized how hoarse it sounded to his ears. Lorcan walked up to them at that point, still holding Robyn in his arms and positioned himself next to him, letting their shoulders touch in a comforting way.

"Call me Aelin, then," she smiled at them both. Then she made a small grimace, turning to Rowan, "I wanted to ask if it bothered you, that I sought a solution like that. Maybe I put her in distress, embarrassed her. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted to solve this on my own. I really wanted to discuss it with you, with your husband too, to avoid misunderstandings. Maybe we could arrange a meeting."

He was about to tell her that she had given him the exact opposite of annoyance, that he had been more than pleased that she had helped Robyn this way, when her words finally registered.

Lorcan, beside him, had opened his mouth wide and his lips were slowly bending into a mischievous smile.

Rowan furrowed his brow, "I'm sorry, what?"

Aelin's smile seemed to falter. "A meeting? With you? To talk about how to handle the situation," then she shifted her gaze to Lorcan, "You're more than welcome to join as well. I didn't know Robyn had two dads, I apologise for assuming Robyn had a mum and dad. That was very rude of me-"

"I love this," Lorcan whispered, laughing in shock. He turned to Rowan with eyes that sparkled with amusement, "I would definitely be the top."

Rowan looked at him with an expression of complete shock on his face, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Robyn gasped, opening her eyes wide and bringing a hand to her mouth, pointing then to Rowan's.

"Yeah, sorry, love. I shouldn't have said the bad word." he apologised, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. He turned back to Miss Galathynius, "I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but we're not married."

"No need to lie, sweetie. I'm sure Aelin," he gave her a knowing look, "doesn't mind at all about our relationship status."

Aelin nodded, "Well, yes. That doesn't change anything. Mr..." she turned to Lorcan, searching for a name.

"Salvaterre."

"Mr. Salvaterre can still attend. The fact that you are not yet married is no reason why you cannot both be present at the meeting. You don't have to worry, we are a very tolerant school and if anyone bothers you, you can come directly to me."

A sound of sheer glee escaped Lorcan.

Aelin continued, "I mean it. I was pleased to see both of you today. I was also pleased to see Robyn smiling so much." she concluded, looking the little one in the face.

Rowan took a deep breath, bracing himself, "No, I meant, we're not a couple. We're not gay. He's her uncle."

The woman's blonde eyebrows shot up and a second later she turned almost as red as the dress Robyn was wearing as Lorcan shook his head muttering something very much like 'you're no fun', which made Robyn giggle.

"Why did you even get off the car?" he asked him exasperated.

Lorcan shrugged, "Because I missed my little bean, you monster." he replied, clutching Robyn to his chest. The little girl clutched Lorcan's shirt in her chubby little hands and Rowan huffed, shaking his head.

Aelin brought her hands to her face, leaning against the desk behind her. She shook her head, her face still hidden, "Oh, god. I'm so sorry."

Lorcan let out a dry laugh, "Don't worry about it. It was fun while it lasted." then he turned to Rowan again, who was still trying to recover from the idea of being involved in a relationship with his friend, "You're really no fun."

"Yeah, no fun dad." repeated Robyn.

Silence fell over the class. Rowan looked at her with wide eyes and blinked once, twice. Robyn was staring at him with a sweet scowl that mimicked so much that of the man who was still holding her, but Rowan couldn't get over the fact that his daughter had spoken while Aelin was still beside them.

He was about to talk, noticing how Robyn had started squirming in Lorcan's arms, when there was a knock at the door.

They both turned, Aelin peering over Rowan's shoulder, and saw the figure of a petite girl with black hair and eyes standing in the doorway, watching them with her head slightly bent to the side. She had a tag on her t-shirt that was too colourful to belong to someone who didn't work in a school with children, so he guessed she was a teacher herself. Besides, Rowan felt like he'd seen her elsewhere. Probably every day when he picked Robyn up from school, he said to himself.

"I know you're not supposed to eavesdrop but I stopped by earlier and heard you were a couple of dads," she said by way of introduction. "I just wanted to reassure you that the school is an extremely safe place. I'm the one who did most of the interviews with the parents," that's where they had met then, "and one of the questions that is asked is just about the tolerance of the people who will be attending the school."

Aelin watched her, remaining silent the whole time and putting on an amused smile, nodded, "That's what I was telling them. How tolerant the school is. They make such a cute couple, don't you think, Elide?"

Rowan turned to her, arching an eyebrow, silently asking her what she was doing. The woman, as if she could truly understand what he was trying to convey to her, nodded her head towards Lorcan, who Rowan only then noticed was standing weirdly, his eyes fixed on the woman in the doorway.

He grinned, deciding to take his revenge right away. "Oh, yes. Thank you so much for the reassurance," Rowan began to play along as well. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lorcan turn towards him, dropping Robyn to the floor, who made a disapproving noise at being dumped so suddenly. "We are happy to know that this school is a safe place for our daughter. And for us."

Elide offered him a blinding smile, "Good. I'm happy to hear that you are pleased so far. And I am happy that Aelin is the one who is taking your daughter's class. She's the best one here."

Rowan didn't know her yet, but he knew the thing Elide had just said could only be true.

"Well," she said again, giving them an apologetic smile, "I really must go now, but if you need anything, you can find all my contact details on the website. Have a nice day!"

Aelin and Rowan said their goodbyes, thanking her. Lorcan took a while to recover, but when he realised he was staring into empty space he ran towards the door, almost stepping on little Robyn, who was moved by Aelin.

"We are very much not gay, miss!" he shouted into the hallway. Aelin, now beside him and with a hand on Robyn's shoulder, cackled. With Lorcan's infinite luck, someone walked by just then and gave him a stern look. "Oh, shut up ma'am. I'm an ally. The best ally."

Aelin opened her mouth wide before bursting out laughing in turn.

Robyn, seeing both adults so happy, giggled too and Rowan bent down to pick her up. The little girl laid her full head of white-light hair on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

She was tired and Rowan really needed to get her home to sleep.

He glanced at Aelin and reduced his lips to a thin line, "I'm sorry about the commotion, I'll try not to bring him into the building again. Even if it means tying him to the seat."

The soft laugh she gave made something tighten in his chest. He frowned.

Aelin didn't seem to notice the effect she had on him, "Don't worry, Elide is crazy about fools like him. If he says the right things, we might start seeing each other outside of school too."

Rowan nodded, now too caught up in the thought of having to take Robyn home to focus on anything else.

They agreed on when to hold the parent-teacher meeting and then he grabbed Robyn's backpack, walking towards the exit.

He was thoughtless as he reached into his pocket for his keys and balanced everything else - including the girl - on his other arm, but when Robyn's hand brushed his cheek, he looked down and his eyes met their twins. Green against green.

"What is it?"

The little girl's voice never stopped making him smile. Each time was like the first time she had said dada.

"I really like her."

Rowan frowned, "Who?"

"Miss Aelin." she whispered, almost as if she was afraid they might hear her.

He smiled at her, "Yeah? You like her?"

"She's nice to me."

Rowan had to put her down as he opened the door and let her get into the back seats by herself.

"I'm glad she's treating you well, love," he let her know, buckling her in.

He hoped she'd tell him more about her new teacher, but like any kid her age, the topic of conversation couldn't last for more than four lines apiece, "Where's Uncle Lorcan?"

Rowan snorted, "No idea, little bird."

Robyn nodded, "Elide is pretty too."

But before she could answer him, Rowan had entered the car in turn and smacked the back of his head, which made the Robyn giggle, "You're not using my daughter as your wingman. Now stop it and buckle up."

Lorcan gave him a gentle push, before doing as he was told and for once he was happy he'd convinced him to do something.

Or at least, Rowan thought he had convinced him.

"What if I left you a note to deliver to Miss Lochan, Rob? Would you be up for it?"

Rowan knew, even without looking at her, that she was nodding emphatically.

Keeping his eyes on the road, he murmured, "Could you stop calling my daughter Rob, please? You'll give her an existential crisis."

Lorcan clicked his tongue against his palate, "Rowan, I'm not giving her a damn thing. We live in this new world, okay? Your daughter could be called Simon and still be a beautiful princess. Grow up and educate yourself before you talk shit."

"Aaaah!" shouted Robyn, "Bad word!"

Rowan sighed and shook his head, but still he was smiling.

This was his life. Had been for the past two years.

And he wouldn't change it for the world.

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just dm me or send me an ask)

@maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @hellasblessed @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @terrible-and-proud @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @queen-of-demons-and-hell @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass @thewayshedreamed @the-regal-warrior @fangirlprincess09 @januarystears @rowaelinismyotp @starbornsinger @bookstantrash @thegreyj @feysand-loml @autumnbabylon @a-court-of-milkandhoney @highqueenofelfhame @story-scribbler @mariamuses @rhysandswingspan @tanvee1231

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beardedchrisevans · 8 years ago

Photo

Chris Evans Is Tired of Feeling Inauthentic Sharp Magazine April 2017 Issue

Chris Evans has a lot on his mind. The Oscars are in less than a week, and he’ll need to look so good on the red carpet that people don’t notice how uncomfortable that whole situation makes him. He just got back from a fitting with his stylist. The tux he’ll end up wearing, a royal blue take on a classic, works nicely. Now he’s looking at a night filled with some much-needed house cleaning, because as he puts it, “it’s getting pretty gross.” But, mostly, he’s thinking about America.

“Lately all I’ve been thinking about is politics,” he says, before launching into a sincere monologue about what that means. Because he’s not thinking about congressional districts, or immigration reform. When he says he’s thinking about politics, he’s really thinking about how we’re supposed to live our lives in these crazy times.

“It’s not just Trump’s policies, or politics, or his behaviour. It’s just shined a light on how to treat one another and I question whether we’ve forgotten the technique behind discourse; the actual art of disagreeing with someone while still respecting our humanity,” he continues. “People are so polarized right now, and the issues are so personal, that this rage has crept in and it’s made for very little patience, and understanding, and empathy. It’s almost become not, ‘your opinion versus my opinion,’ but in certain people’s minds, ‘good vs. evil.’ and people don’t want to compromise with evil.”

To be clear, I didn’t ask him about politics. Getting the guy who professionally embodies Captain America to sound off on the state of political discourse would be a little too obvious. Instead, I just asked him if he’d had any mini-epiphanies lately. You know, those discoveries that we make over and over again without realizing it. Evans’s answer to that was: politics. This isn’t all that surprising — as his recent Twitter spat with David Duke demonstrates, Captain America doesn’t need much prompting to talk about American ideals. Maybe that’s life imitating art, or maybe that’s part of why Evans makes such a good Captain America — he really is that gee whiz decent — but either way, it’s a lot to be thinking about, especially when, technically speaking, he’s under no obligation to consider much of anything.

Wait. Just stop.

I’m about to call bullshit on myself. “Chris Evans has a lot on his mind?” Really? That’s disingenuous fluff. And I respect Chris Evans too much — especially after actually talking to the guy — to engage in that kind of lazy malarky.

A celebrity profile — like this one — has three, maybe three and half — major objectives.

1. You want to humanize the subject. Sure, Evans is world famous, and has a body that will make your wife fall in love with him, even while you’re sitting right there in the theatre with her (true story), but it’s okay to like him, because he’s just a regular guy!

2. Justify the subject’s renown. You understand that, while being a non-threatening normal person, the subject also has some quality that you, perhaps, lack, otherwise you’d be famous, too! “Chris Evans has a lot on his mind,” lets you know that he is worthy of his position because, unlike some imagined, impossibly vacuous actor who we all have in our collective unconscious, this guy actually thinks about stuff. His brain is always going, he’s always working, he’s a smart cookie and a hustler. He’s earned whatever he’s got, and, remember, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer, more down to earth guy.

And finally, objective 3. Provide the frisson of access and the thrill of vicarious living. Chris Evans has a lot on his mind — and you are special because you know this about his mind, even though you are a stranger who might never see Chris Evans in person. (Oh, and objective 3.5: promote the movie the subject is starring in, thereby paying for subject’s time.)

Chris Evans has played this exact Hollywood game for more than 15 years now. (It doesn’t happen so much now, but for a long time, most profiles of him had a fourth objective: make women/gay men swoon in the presence of his shirtlessness. But, a few years ago, a publicist put a stop to all that. Dude still looks mighty good in a t-shirt though.) You get the sense that, despite his non-tortured demeanour, he’s done with the inauthenticity of it all. You get that sense mostly because he’s admitted as much.

“A lot of times in this industry you are tasked with, not just acting in a film, but then you have to sell the film. And it can be hard if the film isn’t, maybe exactly what you anticipated,” he says. “It’s hard to sell anything, in my opinion. I don’t like selling things. I feel very transparent when I feel myself embellishing. And that’s where the anxiety is born.”

So, in that same spirit, let me admit something: I don’t actually know if Chris Evans had a lot on his mind when we spoke, nor do I necessarily believe that thinking about human decency in the age of Trump, the Oscars, and cleaning one’s house necessarily qualifies as having a lot on his mind. That’s me embellishing. And while I don’t necessarily feel the same discomfort as Evans, maybe I should.

So, in the spirit of Chris Evans, let’s start again. Maybe this time with a bit of integrity, goddammit.

***

While I’m waiting to speak with Chris Evans, there are two competing narratives in my head, two possible Chrises I might encounter.

It’s funny: one of the serendipitous results of there being, at the moment, several A-List actors named Chris — who are all, it should be said, handsome, blonde, white dudes — is that they inadvertently create a spectrum of Male Celebrity Persona. On one end, there’s Pratt: affable, charming, game. At the other end of the spectrum, you have Pine, who’s more reserved, sensitive, desperate to show his seriousness and range. Hemsworth, for what it’s worth, resides closer to Pratt. Evans could go either way. In some past interviews he demonstrates a gentle Bostonian dudeness — like, if life were an 80s movie, he’d be a part of the popular crowd that picks on the wimpy nerds, only he’d be the one trying to get his friends to cut it out, and he’d stick around for a few beats after they left to make sure the nerd was okay. But then, in other interviews, he’s honest about how much he hates interviews, how they make him self-conscious and anxious.

This dichotomy, while a natural part of being human, is interesting because the movie he’s promoting seems to deal with something similar. At least to me. In Gifted, Evans plays a man raising his young niece after his sister’s suicide. She had been a math genius and her daughter inherited her preternatural abilities. Not wanting his niece to go through the same hardships as her mother, Evans raises her in Florida, as far from demanding academic elites as possible. The conflict comes when the girl’s grandmother takes him to court, in order to bring the child back to the ivory tower, where she can do something Mathematically Important. The movie, of course, is heartwarming, and his performance is natural, and nuanced and you almost forget that the last time you saw him on screen he was beating up Iron Man with a stars and stripes shield.

But in trying to take her granddaughter back to the Big City, we get a clear picture of the Two Americas we heard so much about during the election. A child psychologist looks concerned and pitying when the girl talks about how she watches UFC with her uncle, or how her best friend is a neighbour played by Octavia Spencer. Evans is an everyman (albeit one that is secretly a philosophy professor, slumming as a mechanic), trying to give his adopted daughter a ‘regular’ life, the villain is a card carrying member of the coastal academic elites. It’s messy, but it’s all American. Both sides make mistakes, both sides are human.

For what it’s worth, he’s happy I saw Gifted as an exploration of the duality of the American experience, but that wasn’t what drew him to the part. “I think it’s always fun to try to interpret films through different lenses. For me, it was more about the friction and conflict that can happen between a parent and a child, when a parent is overbearing and expects too much and a child rebels, and kind of just wanting love and never feeling good enough,” he says. It was about family for him. But — and maybe we’re stretching here — I say there isn’t much difference between the dichotomy of familial relationships, and how Americans relate to one another, and their government.

And, while I’m straining for a thematic through line, Captain Americatouches on something similar. Think about it: we have the living symbol of American strength and righteousness constantly being pitted against his own government. If both Cap and the United States government are symbols of America, which America is true? What does Family mean? Who is Chris Evans?

You think about a lot of things when you’re waiting for Chris Evans. It turns out though, that the Chris that shows up is closer to Pratt on the spectrum than the Pine side.

He sounds energized and positive, ready for a nice, light conversation about his new movie. I’m almost disappointed. Mostly because — and this is projecting — I had decided that the quietly anxious, adonis-with-an-artist’s heart was the real Chris Evans, and this charm machine that’s talking to me is a facade.

“I don’t actually mind doing these interviews,” he says, after I apologize for forcing him to participate in something he hates. “The first time I made a few movies that I loved so dearly, you couldn’t ask me enough questions about them. I was thrilled. But, if you see my IMDB page, at the beginning of my career it’s just evidence that making a good film is hard. If it were easy, there would be a lot more of them. You work really hard on this thing, and then you have to figure out what to say, how to say it, everything felt just a little too tailored, everything felt a little too forced. It made me very self-aware, and I felt really uncomfortable in that environment.”

***

And speaking of dichotomies, I realize while I’m talking to him that we constantly put actors in this maddening position: we expect authenticity, then we either make authenticity contractually impossible, or we punish it when we see it. We expect them to happily promote whatever film they’re in, then we blame or mock them if the movie isn’t very good. On the other hand, if an actor so much as hints at unhappiness during a press junket or TV appearance, we scold them for being ungrateful, or shake our heads at them for selling out.

It’s easy to understand why some actors — especially Serious Actors — would be media shy, or overly sensitive. But, when Chris Evans talks about this situation, it doesn’t come off as preening or pretentious. He inserts enough qualifiers into his sentences that he’d be unimpeachable. And even when he talks about how he wants to focus on directing — a precarious subject for any actor that often comes off like a freshman English major talking about how he’s writing the next Infinite Jest. Evans sounds more like a coworker speculating about making a lateral career move.

“It’s tough, because if you’re not going to write original content, and you’re just looking for projects that are available, the truth is it’s slim pickings. A lot of great scripts that are up for grabs, big great accomplished directors are snagging them. So it’s a little tough trying to find that diamond in the rough. But that’s been my hunt as of late,” he says. “I think with directing you get to do less press. Every time I do these movies, and do these junkets, you see the director very little. So that would be nice to not be tasked with the job of doing talk shows. But, I also feel with every passing year I’ve become more and more comfortable with certain things that, 10 years ago, I was not.”

He manages to sound grateful and grounded, but also, well, like he actually has integrity. Because of course it would be maddening having to promote films you didn’t believe in. Especially since, what with editing and directing and studio notes and all that, it’s almost impossible for an actor to know whether he’s making a Captain America: Civil War, or if he’s making Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Integrity though is not a trait one usually associates with celebrities, especially ones who have action figures made in their likeness.

I mentioned the objectives of a celebrity profile — and I stand by them — but, really, setting aside any thematic musings about dichotomies, and who the real Chris Evans is, the main question these pieces should answer is simple: what’s it like talking to Chris Evans?

It’s refreshing. It’s decent. It’s like meeting your friend’s new boyfriend and realizing he’s a pretty damn cool guy. And on the one hand, you’re not surprised because your friend is a pretty damn cool girl, and so of course she’d have good taste in men, but on the other hand, she’s dated some real assholes.

But that new boyfriend, you don’t spend all that much time with him. You get a glancing sketch, a taste, for lack of a better, less vaguely homoerotic-in-this-context word. You don’t see the whole picture, but what you do see is promising. If there is an anxious, striving Chris Evans he’s not all consuming. In fact, it’s almost as if the stuff that would make him insufferable — which is to say, his discomfort with the commercial side of the business — is actually what makes him more relatable. Because it comes from a real, homegrown, son-of-a-teacher, bring-his-sister-to-the-Oscars, place. Which, actually, is exactly right.

Because Chris Evans is human. He’s famous and fun and serious and vulnerable. And he deserves his fame, and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Probably.

#chris evans #article

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gedankenkollekte · 8 years ago

Text

Some general thoughts that shouldn´t be forgotten English/Deutsch

[1] The taboo of not beeing allowed/meant to show that you also integrate your bad thoughts/fears/bad experiences as a repressed person into your sexuality. The web explodes of normative rape fantasies. normative sexual violence fantasies and sexuality based herrassment fantasys of the people known as ordinary while the relation of others and their daily life/bad experiences in sex seems tabooed, as if they shall be presented as only passive objects waiting for a normative instruction for ordinary sexual practise by a normative person.

I see a chance of immense energy by releasing the relation of pain and fear as a consequence of repression and beeing tabooed and sexuality. It has to contain a lot of power because it is as tabooed that no one dares to show it in public, not even in the web

——————

[2] Well I never understood these people focussing on genitals. It is for me as an outstanding person hard to follow, but surely maybe also mixed with confusion or feelings of being denied. I will never understand anyone saying “well you have a cock I can not become happy/content with you” or “well you have a small cock I can not becomme happy with you” or “you have white skin I can not become happy with you” or “you have two legs I can not become happy with you”, just following also the thoughts of Marxists that this reduces a persons body as also the person itself to a product/ware/good. It is a fetishism and this in several meanings. This seems normal in f.e. the gay scene and somehow I like that because it is political incorrect, but fair enough to say I am socially still not accepting it really or lets say do not feel comfortable with it because I recognize kind of a fashist thing inside. But this brings me back to the thought “were is the border” like you can somehow see fashism in any lookistic behavior and “love” if you do not draw a line somewhere. Hope you can follow and just to say this was just a spontaneous impression and more to also criticise myself not to praise the way how to judge. However I will not make a issue of it if people act like this in my presence even if they act towards me like this I would never confirm to have any kind of relation to anyone choosing people like this because I have much distance and even kind of disgust towards fetishists myself (just see my brainmachine working).

————-

[3] Its kinda fashion and I am sometimes bit disgusted of it because it is somehow just a filthy bodycolonialism like exploitation of repressed bodies and existances and blurring the meaning and existance of opression and the resulting importance of clear statements against it out of the mouth of the oppressed in most times as it is never good to let privilegued people project their non reflected decadent daydreams on the tabooed bodies of some non privilegued if you guess what I mean, but I liked the rest of the mag and could stand these pictures also.

Hopefully the fact of the widespreaded instrumentalisation of exotisized bodies will lead into a better and sharper distinguishing and accentuation of the activist outputs to not disappear in the flood of the meaningless and thoughless “art pieces” which are spammed around in each actual medium. The flood itself is nothing that new, it has just increased. When I was looking for activist statements and art a decade ago, most stuff seen on f.e. myspace which seems to be legit on the first look was generally connected to some not so important or political ordinary homo lifestyle stuff, what was for me, hard to stand that time. This is also why I somehow act in a way of separation and distinction towards all this, it seems often led by some cries just for cheap attention or stimuli by anyone.

-------------------

[4] Well, I can not stand the claim of a positive change in societies. The practise of wrong assignments is taking place anywhere in the world still.

We live in hostile societies and it is more than just a state where some rubbish tossers are illegaly mocking some chicks on the streets. There are laws anywhere that successfully prevent anyone´s participation in society as an active member if born as a wrong assigned person. Not even the little prominents are to my point of view, it is an artificial wall built between “us” and “the others” by the duty of beating each child into the wrong role and prohibiting to live and develop self-evidently as all other childs do just by some fucked up laws, which evidently no one sees as a big problem. Worse, people focus on some fashion chitchatting of some gutless hipster chicks and the majority of society saying “we have no prejudice, we treat these people normal nowadays” as if that would mean anything.

In such hostile situation and society, anything than supporting the political emancipation and any idea and attempt to change these brutal bodyfashist laws is clear repression and mostly exploiting people´s problems and tabooisation as a consequence of these laws for cheap attention or the fake suggestion to support the necessary critics and formation of a resistance movement that yet has not taken place (and don´t know if ever will if not anyone of us will radically launch it).

So don´t let us speak more about the suggestion of any positive change as long as you only see the same right assigned faces smiling on each newspaper, fashion mag, cinema movie cover, political booklet and advertisment flyer or product while there is no couple, not even the hardboilest (except maybe L. & me) going out holding hands in any city. This can´t be positive or nice. Fuck these fashion hypocrates in the web and fuck modern societies´ new coat of sanctimony.

[5] Mein Fazit aus meinen Erfahrungen ist, wir brauchen eigene, unabhängige, nicht zensierende Kanäle und Medien. Am Ende erzählen sie in den Mainstream-Medien immer von dir als “dem Mann, der zur Frau wurde” auf irgendeine Weise und schüren auch sonst genau die Vorurteile, die man eig. vor der Kamera abbauen wollte.

[6] Man sollte echt nicht stolz sein, einer Randgruppe von Merkmalstragenden anzugehören, die höchstens im Pornosektor, UnterschichtTV-Formaten oder mit billiger Popmusik Fuß fassen kann irgendwo in der Welt oder als “Miss Sondertitel jedenfalls nicht Miss Frau irgendwas sondern Miss Missgeburt irgendwas” wenn ihr wisst was ich meine, dabei aber sich selbst als weiblich definiert, Der erste Schritt aus der Sklaverei besteht darin, die Sklaverei zu benennen und von sich zu weisen, nicht sie dankend anzuerkennen.

use an online translator to comprehend the texts in your favorite language.

Wenn ihr kein Englisch versteht, einfach mal in die Übersetzungsmaschine damit...

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stellahendomakers · 6 years ago

Text

WEEK 10

TEXT BASED INVESTIGATION:

A QUEER HISTORY OF FASHION: FROM THE CLOSET TO THE CATWALK (VALERIE STEELE)

2. Fashion and style has played an important role within the LGBTQ community, both pre and post stone wall, and even as early as the 18th century. (pg 7)

Not much has been published about high fashion as a site of gay cultural production. (pg 7)

2.Aethetic sensibilities and unconventional fress choises made by LGBTQ people, we see how gay culture has been to the creation of modern fashion. (pg 7)

3. Even Though a vast majority of designers are gay, they do not want to be labeled as such because they don’t want their work to be stereotyped - or their own accomplishments minimised. (pg 8)

3. Robert Schankle and Kim Marra argue that “sexuality permeates peoples beliefs, actions, and social relations.” If sexuality is “a historical force”, as they suggest, then it’s “far from irrelevant”, it is, in fact, entirely legitimate to ask why homosexuals have played such an important role in fashion. Indeed, not to write the history of gays and lesbians in fashion “is to be complicit in what has been called ‘inning’, the perpetuation of systemic denials that foster the climate of shame and risk surrounding same sex eroticim. (pg 8)

3. William Mann’s book on gay and lesbians in Hollywood, we believe that, by seeing these fashion “pioneers” not only as designers, fashion professionals, and trendsetters, “but also as gay men and lesbians,” we can “cast new light not only on their experiences but also on their very history” of fashion itself. (pg 8-9)

3. It is important to be open about the sexualitites of the decessed, since there is nothing to be shameful about variant sexuality. (pg 9)

3. In later decades, of course, as homosexuality was legalised and became increasingly accepted, more designers have came out publicly. (pg 9)

1. Fashion history cannot truly be understood without taking account of the creative contributions of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, and other “queer” individuals. (pg 9)

1. “ the word queer has often been used in a derogatory sense. However, in recent years it has increasingly been appropriated by many LGBTQ people. (pg 11)

2. By “performing” fashion, often in such a way to convey “signs of gayness” to other gays, LGBTQ people, whether fashion professionals or not, have been instrumental in creating queer subcultural styles as a queer sensibility that have profoundly influenced mainstream fashion. (pg 12)

2. By the 1880s, Lebsians in Paris were iften depicted as wearing mannish, dark, woolen jackets and white shirts with starched collars and bow ties. (pg 24)

2. Tailored clothes of upper-class men were also experienced as liberation for many lesbians (pg 24)

2. It was not simply that many lesbians had a “mannish” style of self-presentation. (pg 26)

2. They style garconne in the 1920s seemed to blur the traditional boundaries between men and woman, this new style was deeply controversial. (pg 26-27-28)

2. It is not only as fashion professionals that gay men and lesbians have influenced the world of style (pg 28)

2. In the early 20th century, gay men and lesbians were visible in large cities, such s Berlin, New York, and Paris. In New York, many gay men “boldly announced their presence by wearing red ties, bleached hair, and the area’s other insignia of homosexuality.” (pg29)

3. Many predominantly homosexual men were married (sometomes to lesbaians) and some had children. (pg35)

4. 1947 Dior launched the New Look, an ultra-feminine style, characterised by voluptuous curves and longer hemlines. (pg 41)

2. After ww1, the structure of fashion business changed, and men became increasingly visible as designers. (pg43)

3. “so those who have power must [be open about] their homosexuality and do everything they can so that it will be considered just like being left-handed or right-handed.” - Berge, Out magazine (pg44)

1. After the relative tolerance of the early 20th century, the postwar paranoid was characterized by savage reaction, which has been called “the 1950s Kulturkampf, or state-sponsored culture war, against homosexuals and other gender-benders.” (pg44)

1. During the postwar period, many homosexuals became in effect, “invisible men” because they experienced a “very real fear of exposure and arrest”. (pg44)

1. Lesbians dressed to “pass” in a vaguely androgynous style. (pg45)

2. 1960s “Peacock Revolution”, involved a lot of gay men. (pg45)

2. John Stephen played an important role in bringing a “queer” look to a hetrosexual market with the ride of mod fashion. (pg45)

1. One year later after the stonewall riot of june 28 1969 the first pride parades took place in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. As LGBTQ people increasingly asserted their rights, variant sexualities became more accepted in the 1970s. More people lived openly gay lives, and fashion reflected this. (pg46-47)

2. A bunch of new styles arose, such as Clone, macho, gym-toned and other elaborate sexual codes. Middle class lesbians adopted a more “anti-fashion” androgynous style. (pg 47)

2. Woman fashion designers flourished during the 1920s and 30s, after ww2, male designers became much more numerous and influential. (pg53)

4. Calvin Klein’s advertising, then (1981) and later, was widely perceived as homoerotic, it also clearly appealed to hetrosexual men and to woman of all sexual orientations, reinforcing what would become a long-term trend for the use of homoerotic imagery, especially in fashion advertising. It is sometimes forgotten that gay sexuality is widely “considered extraordinary,inviting as well taboo.” (pg55)

3. “There are many gay men in fashion”, says John Bartlett. “I know I was drawn to this career knowing that I would be welcome there and encouraged to be creative and expressive. Fashion is one of the rare industries that accept gay men.” (pg 62)

3. “The otherness of being gay informs our eye in a very different way from a young age. We relate to both men and women and therefore have a unique perspective on both sexes. We also identify a lot with our sexuality, so we think a lot about what defines gender.” (pg 62)

4. By the late 1990s, a fertile period of fashion innovation =, many of the world's most famous designers were gay or bisexual. But they were not always comfortable with having their sexuality labeled. Heralded as “Gucci’s Gay Superstar” on the cover of The Advocate (june 10, 1997), Tom Ford (b. 1961) was pressed to discuss his sexuality. He said that he was “very happy” with his long-term partner, and admitted, “i’m certainly gay at this particular moment in my life,” (pg 62)

3. Karl Lagerfeld - “that’s one of the good things about the fashion world. Those things [sexual orientations] are nonexistent subjects. You are never strange enough, bizarre enough, or different enough… It’s not a question of political correctness. Be correct, ,but don’t feel the need to tell the world.” (pg 62)

3. “The marginalised status of gay men produces the freakish, anarchic bursts of creativity and daring which are fundamental to fashion innovation,” argues Simon Doonan (pg 66)

3. “Gay men's lives have always been oriented around fantasy and disguise and transformation. They desire to escape from the negativity in their situation. Fashion is a ticket… The sad thing is both gays and straights continue to disdain effeminacy in men. Many gay men still have tremendous ambivalence about their proximity to fashion. They remain evasive about their sexuality and they suffer as a result.” (pg 66)

4. “The psychological struggles of Alexander McQueen and John Galliano are traceable to their working class homophobic roots. Their huge success only increased the unresolved conflicts and dissonances.” (pg 66)

This text talks about how queerness has influenced fashion pre and post stone wall. It brings up views about big designers and their reluctance to speak upon sexuality, the article also goes into to detail the evolution of queer style and where it stemmed from. This helps me to answer my key questions in my investigation surrounding queer fashion.

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