#and then they get righteously pissed about it. so there's that to consider too

[talentforlying]

ok constantine would sooner strangle me than be compared to roderick usher, but "the gates are always open but that doesn't mean you answer the phone" feels very close to how he operates with his friends and allies. you can always come to him for help, but it won't necessarily be the help you wanted. eventually people learn to just stop calling, because the silence is better than the disappointment.

[illwynd]

Eternally confused by assertions that Thor and Loki don't like each other.

They love each other, obviously. And sometimes they fuckin hate each other (well, Loki sometimes hates Thor. And Thor is sometimes at least very goddamn righteously pissed off at Loki, whether he'd call it "hate" or not.)

But they do also like each other.

Thor clearly likes Loki. Enjoys and appreciates his company and admires many things about him, despite their many conflicts. And although that's a comics reference, consider Thor's "well of course I want to have my brother come with me on an adventure!" attitude when he's trying to convince his friends to go to Jotunheim with him at the beginning of Thor 2011, and it seems like it's pretty applicable to the MCU as well, at least before TR's moronic retcons.

Is it mutual, though?

... is that a real question?

Loki idolizes him, wishes he could measure up to him, thinks the sun goddamn rises and sets on Thor. "Loki felt no rancor [...] -- his stepbrother was perfect: beautiful, powerful, golden. He adored him. And if Thor repaid that adoration with little slights and humiliations, it was a price Loki was only too willing to pay for his company" (R. Rodi, Loki: Blood Brothers). Yes, another comics reference, but doesn't that also jibe with the movie depiction of Loki who clearly has a less than ideal relationship with the rest of Thor's crew but hangs out with them nonetheless because that's the only way to spend time with Thor?

Genuinely, I can't think of a better metric for liking someone than wanting to hang out with them even when the circumstances make that less than fun for other reasons. Seeing their company as satisfying even if you're both just sitting there doing something that would otherwise suck. And they both seem to have each other as first choice for that, with everyone else a very distant second if they rank at all.

So I just don't get how anyone can try to slot them into some cliche of "siblings who love each other i guess but also can't stand each other at all." These dumb bastards would spend their lives in each other's pockets if they could. They probably had their own secret language as kids, like figured out a way to get around the Allspeak to invent one no one else could understand. Anyone else that either of them dates had better be ready to have the other brother as a constant topic of conversation, because the moment you express annoyance at that they're going to be shoving breadsticks into their bag and making excuses to gtfo. "they don't like each other" what the fuck are y'all talking about.

[vegaseatsass]

My Stand-In Episode 9

I have like 10min to ejaculate some emotions before I have to run again so lmfao /types hard and fast I adore that after twisted coercive action after twisted coercive action, Ming almost almost almost had his Kinn moment where he lets Joe go. He came SO close. But he couldn't stick the landing. He's going twisted coercion to the VERY END, BABY!!! And I do think in many ways that's a clue about whether he would have been able to let Joe go when he asked in the first life, before the baseball bat, if Joe hadn't gotten the call from Sol and given Ming a justification for spiralling into delululand. I really do think he was close to hearing Joe then too, and honoring his desperate requests to let go. But "close" means letting him walk across the street and then chasing him, not actually releasing his grip. Ming will always be so very Ming <3

Wut pissed me off throughout this ENTIRE episode but I am trying not to relapse to "the NARRATIVE doesn't UNDERSTAND what it's DOING" reactions to characters with his framing and actually just take what's on the screen in good faith. And what's on the screen is a man who never truly acknowledged his own role in getting Joe killed, doomed to make all the same choices and mistakes all over again. While carrying himself with so much unearned self-righteousness and avuncular "wisdom", augh I hate him but yeah. He thinks what he did wrong in Joe's first life is like not yell at him hard enough to keep him from driving off a cliff. Not push an abused, financially desperate man into further isolation with nary a moment of considering trying to support him or even just giving him companionship for the night while he recovered from being fuckin kidnapped. So yeah, it's not surprising he's consistently making the easy choices, the "it's not REALLY my problem" choices, that put Joe back in Ming's grasp again and again. Like okay thank you as a plot device Wut (yes I am a sick and twisted hypocrite lmao), but fuck you fuck you fuck you as a human being.

However! SOL THIS EPISODE! Oh my god this is why I needed to quickly post! The duality of this character! I made FUN of Ming for thinking that Soljoe as a branded pair was any kind of threat, but episode 9 Sol was like "no actually. Audience shipping is reality if we try hard enough to make it be so." The way the lines are so blurred for him between just desperately desperately wanting to be there for Joe and desperately desperately wanting Joe to see that Ming is the wrong choice and Sol is the right choice, and I have strong doubts about how fully conscious the latter is - he knows he still wants Joe, sure, but I think he sees his (nonexistent, sorry baby) romantic eligibility as an opportunity to get Joe away from Ming. If Joe had a partner who wasn't violent and dangerous, I truly believe Sol would back off while harboring his feelings more quietly. But if Joe is single or with Ming? Sol has to try with everything he's got and cannot see the ways that that compromises his support for Joe.

And yet! EVERY time he called out Wut for facilitating Mingjoe (SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK WUT) I was cheering for him. Helping Joe with (Joe-on-Joe) crimes??? Being his lookout??? The crowd ROARED! And there's something to be said for Joe in the middle of the grieving process for his body and life, and Sol being the one who comes by to accompany him the next morning. Again, it's that duality: he is coming because they have a music video to promote, he is coming because he's giddy about selling them as a branded pair and maybe making Joe see him as a romantic option. But being very frank, I think it matters that Joe had someone who knew what happened and knew he was in the middle of grieving be there at his side that morning. I don't think he struggled to wake up when Ing shook him because he was sleepy. I think he was carrying something a lot heavier than that, and you need community to help you carry that burden. And there's nobody trying to or thinking of offering that for Joe except Sol. For partly selfish reasons, again, that's the juice of the character, that that duality is always present for him, but for ME it still matters as a kind of material support.

Lastly, the little glimpse of Yim being bitter and fucked up about Joe's death, and how that went over Joe's head, because he doesn't expect his CHILDHOOD FRIEND to remember him and grieve him. Delicious little detail.

[queer-muslim-culture-is]

does anyone relate to me as a queer muslim?

Just wanted to put a disclaimer that I personally am not acting on it but I did find a way to reconcile my queer identity and religion <3

I grew up mostly thinking I was straight but in my teens I didn't label with heterosexuality anymore. I was never really passionate about queer activism but I recall being uncomfortable with homophobia at masjid and gatherings but I never thought about it too much until may 2022

That is May 27 2022 to be specific, the stranger things release date. Im not going off topic lol I promise. So basically I converted from being a mileven shipper to a byler shipper after watching. This was when my queer religious crisis started. I loved Mike and Wills relationship and I thought it was so beautiful from the way they treat each other. I was reading fanfics, watching edits, reading analysis 24/7. How could it be wrong

I knew that the logic with ''Sinful'' actions is that even though you desire benefits coming from it, and you intend good things to come out of it, the reason why its a sin is because unseen harmful effects come out of it even though that's not what we intend. ''But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.'' I could deal with the fact that queer actions were forbidden cause that meant you don't hate the sinner or the ''Sin'' but only the fact that your action has ''harmful unseen/unknown affect'' that you just have to trust in God that its there and that he would only make harmful things forbidden. For example: Promiscuity is a sinful behavior in islam, and God considers it disgusting because it is harmful, but in Jannah all the harmful effects of your desires are removed, this explains why alcohol and hoor al ayn, music etc exist in Jannah. So can I act on my queer desires in Jannah? I made the horrible mistake of going to cishet people with this question and obviously they said NO. I was so fucking pissed and mad and I felt guilty for being mad because it felt like I was questioning Allah. But mostly I was hurt because God is not who I thought he was and I felt ignored, betrayed, neglected, and I took the queerphobia as my image of God. It just made me even more pissed off when people said '' you will get something better'' why can't I get what i asked for and be treated normally like everyone else with their forbidden desires? After suffering an entire lifetime of homophobia and abstinence, God wants to brush this issue under the rug and ignore it even though it becomes a part of who a person is, where is the justice?? At that point I felt like if I couldn't get queer liberation in the next life for myself I would want it for someone else and I would fight for it. I had mercy in my heart for queer people. So this does not make sense cuz GOD IS THE MOST MERCIFUL, more merciful that any lgbtq+ activist on this earth, so God surely must out mercy me

I went through a religious crisis period for 6 months just constantly soaking up all the queerphobic media online from muslims. I felt sick reading all of it and I felt my heart drop. Why do muslims deny that queerness is not a choice. Why do these scholars have rights to speak on issues they've never experienced. How can a person tell another person how they feel. How can you deny centuries of queer people and why do some muslims make fun of queer people, hate us, think were disgusting etc. I really never felt any righteousness or respect from these people yet they say ''respect not support'' tf? I started getting depressed, failing in school because I took these people and modeled my image of Allah based on them. Why wont I get what I want in this life or the next? So my love was considered ''disgusting'' for no reason.

Then months later, everything changed. I started talking to God everyday and treated him like my therapist and I vented out all the pain of queerphobia. I did scientific research on queerness and found out that is generally innate/unchangeable and internalized homophobia turned into anger towards queerphobic people. I was just crying out to Allah wishing that Queer Love could be honored and respected one day and that slowly, naturally it turned into me making dua to Allah that queer people could act on it in Jannah. I for some reason thought it would be more acceptable to ask for queer relations without the sexual aspect lmfao my puritarian era. So anyways I slowly started making Dua to Allah often and asked all the time for queer liberation in the next life and for people I knew in real life, online, my moots, queer muslims who passed away etc. I turned the anger of queerphobia into calling out to Allah to ask for liberation for the queer ummah. I eventually also asked for the sexual aspects as well lmfao. I remember one day I prayed tahajjud and asked Allah for queer people to be with their lovers in the next life and to be themselves (gender identity) and I asked for a sign. I even talked to Allah about my love for byler lmfao dont judge me ok I was crying my ass off at the van scene where Will confessed to Mike. So anyways the ''Sign'' as I saw one day I was cleaning my room and read a book that said that Allah would never guide a person to make a dua if he didn't want to answer it. I was shook and long story short I learned that God is what you make of him and you must trust God when you make dua to him. Another Sign I saw was that I was a video literally explaining this concept in a tik tok another time after I made tahajjud and asked for the same thing again.

My perception of God has fundamentally changed and I am so grateful. Byler endgame 2024 <3

im just gonna quickly note that this blog *does* support acting on your queer attraction and i, as the mod, have multiple partners. i choose to interpret the stories that supposedly ban queerness otherwise (some of these interpretations are or will be shared in #resources) and that any harm that comes from it can either be mitigated (safe sex practices) or is the result of bigotry

but thank you for sharing your experience anon. genuinely happy that you managed to reconcile both with yourself and Allah :]

and hey, i get what you mean abt the fanfiction part skdfjh ! some of my earliest experiences w queerness were reading queer fics on ao3 and feeling,,, something. something i couldnt quite identify till years later. fics exposed me to queer romance, helped me come to terms with my allosexuality, and even helped me experiment with my gender in a way. i owe a lot to fic writers

[cherrydrop-rambles]

Everytime I listen to "Ruthlessness" from Epic The Musical, it always reminds me of a scenario in Minus One where "Hey, what if Tachibana did NOT forgive/help Shikishima and continued to hold that grudge against him?"

Therefore, I am compelled to bring you...

My TED talk of why I think this song is basically the scenario of Tachibana if he never forgave Shikishima;

Disclaimer: I will not take from the musical itself, only the lyrics I see on screen

Blue ; Lyrics

Normal coloured text ; Analysis

Also HUGE Godzilla Minus One Spoilers and I am totally 100% sane making this

---

(I'm not counting the multiple "Poseidon"s at the start because you can't really analyse that </3)

" In all my years of living, it isn't very often that I get pissed off,

I try to chill with the waves, but damn you've crossed the line. "

The mention of the waves - I see as a direct reference to the fact that Shikishima is a minesweeper - sailing the waves on his boat. (This is assuming this is all being said to Shikishima after he becomes a minesweeper)

" I've been so gracious, but yet you hurt this son of mine "

Instead of the 'yet you hurt this son of mine' line making an accusation of hurting his son, I'd say Tachibana would instead make a direct reference to Shikishima letting his friends get injured(killed)

" That's right, the cyclops you made blind is mine. "

" No, "

[ N/A - Dont have analysis for these lines ]

" I'm left without a choice, and without a doubt

Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the sharks now

I gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown,

But before you go, I need to make you learn how "

Okay, so, for the first two lines, I took this as two meanings. My first idea is that the whole "sharks" mention is another little reference to Shikishima working on the ocean. But then, the pack of wolves swimming with the sharks could be a direct signal to the large group of corpses (Tachibana's allies) on Odo Island being washed into the sea after the Godzilla attack. And clearly the third line of harming Shikishima is Tachibana wanting to practically kill him due to him blaming Shikishima for his crew being gone.

" Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves "

First of all, such a banger line in general. Second, I think this would be Tachibana saying that you need to kill to be 'Ruthless' and execute certain actions sometimes to save those around you, which in a way saves ourselves because if he saved everyone around him, he wouldn't have to feel that guilt. He considers Shikishima to have had a choice when aiming at Godzilla, and Shikishima "actively" never took that choice. If he did kill Godzilla - In which perhaps the powerful guns could have in Tachibana's eyes - then he would have mercy on himself because he wouldn't live with the added guilt of being responsible for all those deaths caused by the lizard he "refused" to kill.

A Greek who reeks of false righteousness, that's what I hate!

" You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great.

'Cause you fight to save lives but won't kill and don't get the job done,

I mean, you probably could have avoided all this had you just killed my son,

But no "

Alright so, the first two lines I feel like this is Tachibana criticising Shikishima for taking the role that's known for saving their people and being heroic (hence the false righteousness) but failing to protect those on the island because he couldn't do "one simple thing" per se, and pull the trigger on the guns aiming at Godzilla. And of course the worst kind of good not being great ties into what I talked about him seemingly taking up this role and not being able to save those Tachibana cares about.

The third line sort of ties into what I've just explained about with Shikishima being a pilot in WW2 but failing to kill Godzilla, and the last part is pretty self explanatory, replacing the 'my son' part with him talking about his crew again.

This whole verse could perhaps refer to him being a Kamikaze pilot too and taking a dig at him surviving the war, even if it does kind of make Tachibana a hypocrite by then.

" You are far too nice, mercy has a price

It's the final crack, we're bound to break the ice now

You reveal your name, then you let him live

Unlike you, I've got no mercy left to give 'cause "

I feel like the "you are far too nice" could perhaps be a hint of sarcasm, followed by mercy being mentioned, which solidifies the idea of Tachibana thinking it was Shikishima's choice not to kill Godzilla rather than the truth of his hands freezing up. I feel like he's too clouded by his frustration and anger of losing those he cared about to consider that Shikishima didn't choose this. Or maybe he's too filled with anger/hatred to care in this case. The more he thinks of such a thing, the angrier he gets, so he tends to push it out of his mind until this scene.

" And now it is finally time to say goodbye, today you die

Unless, of course, you apologize

For my son's pain and all his cries

Poseidon, we meant no harm

We only hurt him to disarm him

We took no pleasure in his pain

We only wanted to escape "

[ N/A - No analysis other than what I've already spoken about. Perhaps the part about him only wanting to escape but thats about it ]

" The line between naïveté and hopefulness is almost invisible

So close your heart, the world is dark and

Ruthlessness is mercy

Die. "

With the thought of Tachibana still thinking that Shikishima had a choice, the first line possibly could refer to it's niave to inflict mercy on ruthless creatures such as Godzilla, because it won't get him anywhere. The hope that Godzilla will take any mercy is naive. And of course, the second one is enforcing the first line, telling Shikishima that the world is a dark place that doesn't take kindly to mercy. I feel like in terms of the last line of "Die," Tachibana would actually want to kill Shikishima in that moment to avenge his friends. I mean, we see in that scene where he gives over the letter, and his anger surfaces how he attacks Shikishima. We also know how far people can go when placed in a stressful setting whilst filled with anger and hatred for a certain person who has wronged you as much.

What have you done?

When does a ripple become a tidal wave?

43 left under your command

When does man become a monster?

I am your darkest moment

The monster that always draws near

Any last words? "

Last but not least, the final verse I am going to analyse. (Yippee!!!)

Now I see a ripple becoming a tidal wave as Godzilla surviving Odo Island and then causing distruction another few times. One event which went wrong turned into a bunch of them occurring. Last but not least, I feel like for the 'when does a man become a monster?' Up to 'The monster that always draws near' instead of Tachibana saying these lines, it's Shikishima's survivor's guilt surfacing as he reflects on what he's done and how he believes he's handles everything. It makes him beg the question of does he even deserve to live at this point? Is he part of the problem and the true monster who has been a catalyst for these events, no matter how much he's tried to stop it - seeing as it follows HIM around?

Finally I feel like the final part is him getting ready to take his revenge.

For the last few lines thats left of the song, honestly doesnt fit in my humble opinion so I shall not include them :3

Extra;

Setting/Time: I think in my mind, this argument with Tachibana arguing with Shikishima during the scene when Shikishima finds Tachibana and Tachibana has seen the letters and is visibly furious about this. It would explain his anger filled explanation and his desire to just get rid of "the root of his problem". Plus he was intentions angering Shikishima in order for Shikishima to actually find him, which would fuel his rage even more!

A quite note that I am taking this from the perspective of Godzilla being a real, tangible creature. I know in the movie he's meant to represent survivor's guilt but I feel like this whole analysis above would make a tiny bit more sense if he really was a real creature. I dunno,

That's all for now! I'm just cramming my thoughts into this one post X3 They don't call it Cherrydrop rambles for nothing!! I've honestly had this concept in my head for a while now and as much as Id love to make this into an animatic, I dont have the time nor motivation for it. However, hope you've enjoyed reading through this chaotic post, and gold star if you did! :3

[sneezemonster15]

Okay I hate bringing this up but I just couldn't help but giggle at anti SNS Sasuke stans for thinking that stanning SNS is 'western'. Lol. The entire fandom's collective worldview is plain "western".

And they obviously consider themselves the representatives of this hallowed ground which is 'not western'.

By which I imagine they are implying that they aren't western. I know some of them are Asian.

Okay. But. See.

I see and recognise the tempting opportunity to indulge in stereotypes. I have done it myself in the past. On the other hand, it can also get too reductive, which it very often is.

But for the sake of the argument, I want to indulge you. Even if I believed the bifurcation you operate on, ie, western vs non western, well, I still don't know where you stand in the middle of all this. I am really stumped. Because your takes are neither Western nor Asian. Your extent of relevant knowledge of both Western and Asian elements is piss poor and embarrassingly ignorant. I don't know which continent it is from. Where do you even live? Lol. Is there a nation for delusions?

Loads and loads of Asian and specifically Japanese people see and recognise SNS. Where have you been? Lol.

I mean, what a weird flex. Lol.

Oh yeah, I am surely going to trust the judgment of someone who thinks homosexuality doesn't exist in Japan.

Call me elitist but okay, my fault for thinking one would at least skim google search before they righteously STATE something factually incorrect, entirely stupid and embarrasingly wrong about something as important as 'a country's centuries' worth of socio cultural sexual history' on a global platform where they are in a virtual debate of sorts with another person on the internet, who can prove them wrong with the littlest effort.

I find it a little funny that they so superbly fail to realize that there are other people on the internet. And a lot of them DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, operate on such truth nuggets such as Kishimoto, an ace storyteller and artist, draws so much sexually risqué art with Sasuke and Naruto to show that they are brothers. Lol. Or that it would be crazyyy to think that someone from Kishi's generation would know about a man loving another man because homosexuality was apparently invented in the nineties.

[epicaxolotls]

May i ask about your ideas. May i ask about your ideas im so curious what you're cooking up in your brain👀

HI DENZ o//////

I'm adding a cut cause i have a feeling this is going to get LONG

see, ive just gained access back to. MANY of my old fic ideas and drafts. this is Dangerous. i have been Thinking

idea #1: the rebellion (religious righteousness and kidnapping)

this idea is OLDDD. like. one of my first tumblr drafts old.

the premise is set in a modern time but with a more medieval europe view on religion. the church of XD rules over the land, and it is the only religion accepted and celebrated. the high church has nearly complete control over politics and the views of the people, its pretty dystopian tbh.

emduo both do not practice the religion of XD/prime? I'm not sure if these two should be the same or seprate yet. will probably be decided when i start thinking about tommys part in the story.

anyways, phils death's angel sent down to earth to. yk. fix this shit. techno is the blood gods conduit(? blood god jesus) sent to do the same. its. kristin and the blood god were like alr yeah lets team up this XD guy needs his shit rocked.

so. techno and phil start a rebellion.

its slow going at first. the two immortals work, and bond, and live. they become very close friends. bestest buds. (if they knew the word theyd prolly say theyre a qpr. i say theyre a qpr. they just never talk to people or go online so they just dont know what that is)

the rebellion grows. they start to recruit people. at a concerning speed

at some point, phil finds baby wilbur, probably abandoned on the streets. he was abandoned out of fear, the wings on his back being unholy. phil regards him as a perfect gift from his goddess.

this is where dream comes in. dream is a priest for XD. he's fairly high in the ranks, but not high enough to satisfy him. with the whispers of a rebellion growing against their god, dream volunteers to check it out, hoping that maybe an act like that would sway the higher-ups to like. priest promote him

when dream heads over, he's treated as a guest. see, phil and techno do hope to settle this non-violently! it wasn't what they were expecting, but if they were able to convince the church to allow the practice of other religions, theyd be happy!

dreams. not easily convinced. he inspects everything with a judgment already made, that this place was disgusting, strong, and gaining *far* too much traction to be allowed to grow.

then dream meets wilbur. being him, he sees this helpless child, growing up in war and brutality (wilburs like. two at this point. and dreams watching him try to eat very a lovingly crafted handmade wooden block. its kinda concerning how much hes succeeding.)

anyways. the night before he leaves back to the church, he tells emduo that hed talk with the other members, they'd consider all that was discussed. that night, he packs up his shit, scoops up wilbur, and *runs*

he orders for the rebellion to be destroyed, once he gets back to the church. but emduo is too pissed off for that, now.

they cant go to the high church first. too much protection, XD favored it too much with not much else in mind.

so they opt for the slower route, despite not wanting to. world dominantion

the rebellion doubles, triples, quadruples in size. emduo are angry, theyre mourning the loss of their kid, and they know that this no longer is about gods wanting attention. not fully, anymore. they were fighting for something else, now. for revenge

...anyways, hows wilbur doing? hes. he gets raised in the high church, by dream. dream tells him aboit his childhood, through dreams pov, ofc, and about how the leaders of this horrible, demonic rebellion- they were looking for him.

wilbur grows up in fear. he sees phil doing speeches on tv, of new reports of more towns being taken, and god does wilbur feel terrible. that was his father. he didn't want to grow up to be... that.

anyways. wilburs... i havent really thought about his age, the day that the rebellion finally has the strength to storm the high church. dreams high priest by this point. with how long its all took, i think wilbur would prolly be around a preteen? not sure.

usually technos the one that leads sieges. phil does it, this time, filled with fury as he stabs the high priest before he can get a word out about bargaining. phil storms into that church with all the rage of a father, and not even XD dares to stop him.

phil finds wilbur at the end of the grand entrance hall. hes older. taller. there's a look of frozen fear in his eyes that shouldn't be there. but it was his son. and so phil doesn't hesitate to hold him close, wishing he could stab the fear out of wilbur like he had done the priest who gave him that fear.

oh, also. the church makes wilbur bind up his wings, since theyre unholy and that cant be seen in the high church. and phil is. horrified by this. wilbur hasn't gotten to move his wings in prolly whats nearing a decade.

wilbur gets lots of hugs

idea #2 alien/eldritch phil, human neo trio (kinda has a hunger-games like setting?)

this is the 10k word long one that im in the tedious process of both editing and figuring out an ending. so. i dont want to say... too much in details, in risk of spoilers. but i love this au its my baby

phil is a feathered creature. hes sharp and agile and big and *scary* as shit, and has been taken to a human research lab to figure out wtf this thing is

this research lab isnt the best, morally. i dont know much abt the scp foundation, but from what i do know, its... something like that. and so at some point, phils moved to this huge territory. theres a circular wall around the place, with a glass dome just tall enough that phil can fly over the trees and get a lay of the land. but hes still trapped, despite the miles upon miles of human forest that spanned on inside.

you know who else is trapped? three human children that were pulled into white vans and drugged. these three are NOT having a good time, trust me. they don't even know why theyre here, until tommy encounters phil one day in the forest and screams and runsnand doesn't look back until hes back with the other two.

phil. phil wonders why they placed juveniles in here with him. the other three make the (correct) assumption very early on that they were here for this eldritch alien looking mf to hunt. theres an explanation as to why the evil scientists did this however i am still working on it so thats a hush hush secret. whats important is there is a language barrier, a very terrifying soon to be dad, and three kids scared out of their minds (for now! theyll learn). what else do you need in a fic?

(this fic is. SO self indulgent lmao its got all my favorite monster sbi tropes ever)

idea #3: tommy being spiderman while his adoptive uncle is a supervillain. whos already taken over the city and is aiming for the world

denz ive talked to you abt this one but it is still one of my favs

see, this idea stemmed off of miles and uncle ben's relationship in spiderman into the spiderverse but its grown into its own full fledged thing.

so. technos been a supervillain since before tommy was *born*, ok? hes a veteran and he has been PLOTTING he has had this evil plan for a LONG time

then tommy, his nephew, comes into the picture.

techno basically raises tommy, his actual dad (wilbur?) dying when tommy was very young. it... puts a hitch in his plans, sure, but techno loves tommy and doesn't really mind all that much. his plans could be slowed, and techno was a patient man.

then, tommy gets bitten by the spider. he gets his spiderman powers, and starts vigilante-ing.

heres the deal. techno never really saw it necessary for tommy to know hes a supervillain (<- STUPID). all tommy knows is that techno has a really sketchy job with really weird hours. which is like. alr cool yk?

but, tommy, this up-and-coming superhero, wants to go big. and what's bigger than fighting the city's buggest supervillain?

ohhh technos kicking this kids ASSSSS. its not pretty tommy is beat up and battered and bruised aughhh.

technos probably got tommy like. strangled against a wall when he realizes. tommy's pleading and his voice cracks and techno has this realization. that was his kids voice. he taught his kid to fight like this. this was his *kid*.

uhh what else. techno keeps up this rivalry so that tommy doesnt go out and fight villains who will actually kill him. tommy goes into the spiderverse at some point to meet ranboo and tubbo and techno forces his way in to get him back. yeah!

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x reader)

Words: 4381 (chapter 1)

Summary:

You and Matt met in the courtroom. Now, you may think that Matt was a knight in shining armour and defended you in the name of all United States laws, but that was not the case.

Matt was totally destroying your client, and you wanted to tear him into pieces right then and right there, because with Murdock as your rival, your head is on the firm's plate with each case. Did Matt care? No, he only cared about bringing justice, he was a human-machine, driven by the need to bring righteousness no matter the cost. Or was he just that?

Find my other accounts on ao3 and wattpad under the same name <3  

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1rSoldierSince2012

wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/1rsoldierSince2012

1. CLASH IN THE COURT

"Your Honor, objection." You shoot up from your seat, the heavy wooden chair painfully creaks against the floorboards of the courtroom. "Relevance. That has nothing to do with my client," you finish the sentence, holding your breath until the judge slowly nods once. 

Matthew Murdock, your rival of today and the two previous cases, blows an audible raspberry, which you would consider to be very unprofessional in the current situation.

"The judge just nodded. Ask about his relationship with his family better." You hear Foggy Nelson, Murdock's friend and courtroom partner, whispering to a quite pissed-off looking Murdock. You sit down and shuffle through papers for anything that might save your client's ass. And yours too. 

"May I continue my questioning, your Honor?" Murdock asks, fixing his red-tinted glasses. You eye him a little before rolling your eyes. All things that you managed to pull out about the case and your client point towards his innocence, you just can't lose this case. Murdock has beat you twice before, your pride won't simply allow the third time to happen.

"Yes, continue." The judge answers, looking quite bored about this whole thing. If it were not for the jury, you're sure he would've already made a decision. 

"Thank you, your Honor." Murdock stands up again, head tilted to your side a little. Weird, but what do you even know about blind people? Maybe that was his way of focusing on his environment or something.

"C'mon, focus," you mutter to yourself, and impatiently tap your pen on the papers, feeling how your heart beats in your chest.

"Mr Donovan, what was your relationship with your father after your parents divorced?" Murdock asks, walking away from his table, hand grasping his white cane so strong that his knuckles turn white as well. Although in a short moment you manage to see that his knuckles are clearly badly bruised. Blind lawyer got into a fist fight? Interesting. Maybe even more interesting than your own case.

"I saw him only a couple of times since then," your client began but didn't get a chance to finish as Matt interrupted -

"Interestingly enough, they divorced when you were in your 30s already, am I right? The average age of people who decide to get divorced is approximately 30, but your parents were already in their 50s. What actions might have influenced their decision?" 

"Objection hearsay, your Honor!" You shoot up from your chair again, looking at the three men in front of you with a somewhat wild expression. "That has nothing to do with the previously asked question."

"Overruled. Continue Mr Murdock."

You plop down on the chair again, tapping your pen even more aggressively than before. That bastard Murdock is just stalling. He didn't need to state this information about the age of people who divorce, and you were damn sure he just thought of the numbers. Besides, what does the fact that Donovan's parents got divorced when they were fifty-two has anything to do with what he's being accused of? You could feel how another hair on your head turned from brown to gray. It was probably a good idea to start dyeing your hair.

"Thank you, your Honor. Mr Donovan?" Murdock asks again, hinting at the fact that he is not going to repeat his question again. He moves a step closer toward stand where Donovan was sitting, desperately trying to make eye contact with his wife, who was sitting right behind you.

"I never really wanted to know the real reason behind their split, but I guess it was always clear to me that a day like this would come." Donovan answers, eyes following your opponent who was slowly pacing around the little space, sometimes coming closer to you, sometimes closer to him.

In the corner of your eye, you notice Foggy Nelson lean back in his chair and making himself comfortable. Are these two men really that confident in winning the case?

"Why? Or should I ask how? How was it visible that your parents were going to get divorced?" Matt asks, stopping for a mere second before continuing his little walk.

"Well, since I was a kid, I never saw them doing any parent activities together like other parents did. When the circumstances forced them to act like happy spouses, they did it. But I saw - there was no love between them, and it was just a matter of time until the papers were signed." Donovan answers and you clap to him. Internally, obviously.

"And it was no surprise to you when they, people at this solid age of fifty-two, announced their divorce?"

"No. " Donovan answers, not giving an explanation. Smart move. If Murdock wants an explanation, he'll have to ask for it. 

"Mr Donovan, your lawyer has stated that you were visiting the nursing home quite often in the past three months. I have information that after your parents divorced those ten years ago, you continued to be in contact with both of them for a while, until the contact with your father suddenly stopped only months before he was put in the nursing home. Your mother, however, you were visiting regularly. Is that all right?" Matt spills so quickly that your client has to take a moment to fully understand what he just said.

"Uh... Yes." Donovan answers, slightly doubting.

"Isn't that a little weird that after not seeing or speaking to your father for years, you suddenly remembered his existence three months ago, right before he died?"

"Uh..." Donovan was still thinking of an answer, when you stood up again. 

"Objection, your Honor. This is an accusation." You let out a desperate breath, unprofessionally leaning on your table.

"Overruled. Continue." Judge says with the calmest expression, the one that you would be more than glad to use right now. You sit down again. That is already a humiliation. Glancing at your opponent's table, you see a woman wiping her eyes with a little handkerchief. Most likely pretending to cry. If you had a case like this for the huge sum of money, you'd be fake-crying too. Nelson turns to look at you as well, shooting a polite smile. You do the same. Although this is a war zone, you were always polite, especially with Mr Nelson. Murdock, on the other hand, decided to choose you as his next target.

"Miss y/l/n, might I ask whether you knew anything about Mr Donovan's illegitimate child, Miss Darcy Donovan, who now might be considered as your client's step-sister?" Matt steps closer to your table, not looking at you, or the judge, but straight to the right side wall of the room.

"No, Mr Murdock, I didn't know anything about your client, who claims to be Mr Donovan's relative. As I was studying the family tree of my client, Miss Darcy has never appeared there." You answer, calmly, raising one eyebrow at the man in front of you. A shy grin appears on his lips for a moment before he puts on a serious expression again.

"So you're claiming, that your client had no idea that he had a sister somewhere out there, and that her existence was not a reason for the divorce of Mr Donovan's parents?" He asks, stilling for a moment, head tilted towards the judge.

"Yes, that is precisely what I am claiming, Mr Murdock. My client never knew the reason of his parent's divorce, let alone the existence of Miss Darcy."

"Miss, y/l/n, I'm sure there were records in hospitals and other resources that your firm uses, that Miss Darcy did exist, and in fact, shares the last name with your client." Murdock grins momentarily again, already pissing you off.

"Mr Murdock, in case you don't know, many people are sharing the same last names and in fact, are not even a bit related." You say, tightly grasping the pen in your hand, fake smile planted on your face. He's obviously playing around, repeating statements, trying to make you stumble. It worked once before.

"Objection, relevance, your Honor." Nelson stands up, looking a bit lost. You look at him surprised, usually partners were not the ones who dared to object their own case.

"Mr Murdock, get to the point." Judge answers, Nelson nods a couple of times and sits down. You steal a look at Donovan, who's intently watching Darcy. The latter pretends to flip through the pages of the case.

"Yes, your Honor. Miss y/l/n, I know that you spoke with your client's mother, did she say what was the reason of her divorce?" Matt asks, standing right in front of you, conveniently blocking your view of the judge. 

"No, Mr Murdock, she never revealed what you're calling "the real reason" of her split. She said that it was a mutual agreement - or to put it simply, the divorce was friendly. My client never questioned his parent's decision, as he respected it."

He says nothing for a moment. A moment too long. You look at Nelson, but he just shrugs at his partner's behavior.

"Mr Murdock, any more questions?" Judge asks loud enough for Murdock to snap out of whatever trance he was in.

"No, your Honor." He nods to the judge, turning to you upon the departure to his table, "Thank you, Miss y/l/n," and shoots a smile. Weird. But he didn't seem like a normal guy anyway.

"Miss y/l/n, any questions to Miss Donovan?" Judge asks. You quickly stand up, grabbing the pen for moral support, you must not fail.

"Yes, your Honor."

"Miss Donovan, please take the stand." 

A moment of shuffling and loud nose sniffling goes by as your client sits down at your table, and Darcy takes his place on judge's left. She briefly gives an oath on the Bible and gets comfortable. 

"Miss Donovan, might I ask, why did your mother give you this last name? Hers was Jones, if I'm not mistaken." You begin, watching the brown-haired woman intently. Even from the looks, the two Donovan 'siblings' couldn't be more different. 

"My mother, God rest her soul, told me that she wanted a better life for me... The one I couldn't possibly get under Jones name. When I reached adulthood, she told me that one day I'm going to meet my father, who was a good man. Good, but troubled." She sniffs quite loud again, and in the corner of your eye you notice how Murdock furrows his eyebrows.

"So from what I've heard, your mother simply gave you the last name of one of her latest flings?" You say, not wasting any time with politeness.

"Objection, your Honor, hearsay," Murdock stands up, leaning on the table.

"Overruled, continue, Miss y/l/n." Judge says, and you try to hide your grin as best as your can.

"Let me paraphrase that for you." You begin, "did your mother know for sure who was your biological father?"

"Um, no. I don't think so."

"And in the past she has had various, uh let me call them, relationships, right? Couple of them at the same time even?" You ask as politely as possible, this is your chance to catch her in a lie.

Matt stands up, but Foggy quickly brings him back to his seat by the sleeve of his jacket.

"Probably. I think so, yes." Darcy answers, looking for help at her lawyers.

"And she wasn't sure who was the father when she began to feel pregnant with you? Or was she absolutely certain that it was the late Mr Donovan?" You fix your loose tie with one hand, Matt audibly takes a deep breath.

"I'm... Not sure..."

"Miss, let me remind you that you swore an oath to tell the truth, so I think that's exactly what we all want to hear right now." You say, focused on the woman. Clearly the pressure of your words and the surprising silence from her own lawyers was doing its job, as she began playing with the hem of her dress.

"My mother told me that of all men she met throughout her life, Danny was the best one. But he was unfortunately married..." Darcy begins and you see an opportunity to strike again.

"But that didn't seem to stop her?"

Darcy furrows her eyebrows and thinks over your words for a moment. "My mother was a nice woman, and she...She made mistakes! Just like everybody else!" Darcy's face morphs into a crying grimmace and honestly, it was  a pity to watch her desperately trying to win the money.

"Objection, your Honor..." Murdock stands up again, visibly affected by the burst of emotions here, you're so close, you can practically touch the today's victory.

"Objection denied, continue Miss y/l/n." Judge calmly says, not wanting the breaking point of the case to be dropped now.

"Miss Darcy, now please answer to following statement, just by simply saying either "yes" or "no", okay?" You ask, slowly walking in front of Nelson and Murdock's table, already planning your journey in front of Darcy. Intimacy always seemed to work with opponent's clients. "Was your mother involved in a multiple relationships at the same time that were heavily based on sexual intimacy?"

Heartbeat. Another, after another, after another. Matt tilts his head to the side. Everything tunes out for a moment - Darcy's heartbeat picked up, she's either nervous, or is creating a lie.

"Yes. I believe so..." She begins, but you're quick to carry on with your next sentence.

"And when she had you, she had no idea who was the real father, yes?"

"Yes... But-"

"So she simply gave you the name of the last man who was involved in a close encounter with her before she noticed that she was expecting? And that happened to be Mr Donovan's father, right?" You ask, tightly holding the pen in your hand.

"Well...Yes." Darcy sighs, slightly lowering her head. 

"So you, not even sure that Mr Donovan is.. I'm sorry, was your father, hired a private investigator to find your father? All these years later?" You say, glancing at the stressed men on your right.

"Yes. But as you can see-" Darcy hopelessly begins.

"And when you got all the information about Mr Donovan, you found out that he was just buried, and his son, Mr Donovan, here, inherited a large sum of money and some property outside the city?"

"Yes, but I-"

"And then you decided that you want that money, that Mr Donovan rightfully inherited at any cost? Following my client to work and back to his house, creeping in the shadows but never brave enough to actually talk face to face?" You ask, feeling as if you're going to burst into million pieces at any moment. The courtroom is silent for a good moment, not even a fly dares to buzz around. The tension is thick, you glace back at your client and on your way to turning back your head to Darcy, your eyes fall upon Murdock, who seems to be deep in thought, perhaps ready to object your question at any given moment. It's a wonder that he wasn't doing that yet. "Yes or no, Miss Darcy?" you repeat your question again, hoping to get an answer now.

"Yes." She says just above the whisper and if any decibel lower, you wouldn't have heard it. Matt heard it loud and clear.

"Why?" you ask, now relaxed, the case was obviously an easy win, but you still had to work on it.

"I guess I was just nervous to approach him..."

"Well, I think couple of weeks are more than enough to collect the strength to approach your step-brother, Miss Darcy."

She says nothing, just silently cries into her handkerchief. You take a look at your client, he has an apologetic look on his face, but it's clear - he's not giving up the money.

"Your Honor, might I intervene?" Murdock asks, slowly standing up, Nelson fails to stop him this time.

"Go on, Mr Murdock." Judge says with a rather bored expression. You stay standing in front of Murdock's table.

"My client, Miss y/l/n, was, and still is in shock after she learned of her father's death. I do agree that stalking Mr Donovan was not the best idea but I think she went with the heart and-"

"Went with the heart to demand half of the inheritance?" You ask, taking a step closer to Murdock.

"I-" he begins.

"If I'm not mistaken, there's only one and only name written in Mr Donovan's will - and it's my client's, so Miss Darcy legaly has no rights for it. I'm sure you know it, Mr Murdock."

"What you don't know is that Mr Donovan had another will left, and it says that if no other heir is to appear until his death, all the money go to his son. But Miss Darcy did appear-" Murdock argues, nervously fixing his tie.

"Right after his death. Mr Donovan has spent the last moments with his father and surely, if he saw this woman in the hospital, he would've recognized her when she began stalking him."

"What exactly was your client doing there those last moments? If I'm not mistaken, after his parents split, he was close only with his mother." Matt says, taking a deep breath again.

"Mr Donovan?" You simply ask, feeling how your mouth became too dry to talk.

"I-um... My mamma called to say that paps was in hospital, something serious and he wanted to see me. I came there, we talk, a pretty heart to heart conversation actually, but he never even mentioned that he cheated on my mamma, or that he had a child somewhere. He just said that he regretted the time that he didn't spend with me. So in the last weeks, we were both fixing that mistake, I guess." Donovan says, and you notice how he tears up a little.

"Thank you" you say and turn to the judge, "That will be all."

"Thank you, Miss y/l/n, Mr Murdock." Judge says, Matt takes a seat. "I think we all should take a break, and the jury will be ready to make their decision, right?" he looks at the jury expectantly, and majority of them nod energetically. "Good. Let's return in 30 minutes."

You make your way towards the bathroom, which happens to be unisex one. Just as you step in front of a mirror to fix your hair, the door opens rather loudly, and no one other than Matt Murdock appears.

You stand up, dropping the pen on your table. "Go grab a coffee, I'm positive that everything is going to be okay for us, yeah?"

Donovan nods, getting up as well.

"Sorry, is this the bathroom?" He asks, smiling briefly.

"I'm sure you wouldn't be stepping in so confidently if it wasn't." You answer, following Murdock's path, which unfortunately leads to the neighboring sink.

"Ah, Miss y/l/n, pleasure to meet you somewhere outside the courtroom." he taps around the sink to find the source of water.

"You know, I honestly thought that I was going to run into you near the coffee machine but I guess life's a bitch." You turn on the water and wet your hands, the slowly tap the loose hair strands and for a while, they stick.

"What, not happy to see me?"

"I'd be more happy to see you lose today. We both know you have no chance of winning."

"Ah, never lost your confidence, Miss y/l/n, even after I beat you twice?" he smirks, and you feel the sudden urge to punch him in the face.

"Not exactly my style, I'm sure you should know that after two times. How's the business going? I overheard in the office that clients are paying you with food packets and uh, fruit bowls?" You ask, leaning on the sink with one hand.

Matt laughs, "I might share one if I win today."

"Oh, no, I would never use your kindness for selvish purposes, although I would gladly eat a donut right now. Any chance you carry one in your pocket?" You laugh as well, Matt grins.

"I don't think my pockets are big enough for that, but if I ever place one there, I'll be sure to give it to you, y/n." Matt dries his hands, leaning on the sink too.

"Oh, first name basis? Didn't think we were that far, Mr Murdock." You grin, shamelessly checking him out, it didn't hurt to know your opponent better, in and out.

"Never thought we were anything less." He smirks, offering you his elbow, clearly a sign for you to lead him out.

"So, you're so desperate for a case that you took this one? Is this how your business is going?" You ask nonchalantly, Matt furrows his eyebrows.

"Our business is going perfectly, thank you asking, y/l/N. How's -"

"You'd get much more if you worked at Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz." You simply say. "Good lawyers like you and Mr Nelson should not go to waste with cases like this.

"Is this a job offer or a piece of advice?" Murdock turns to the side, looking in your direction.

"Little bit of both, perhaps. Well," you tap his arm once, "we've reached the coffee machine. My treat? I believe you need to save money, considering today's loss."

"Miss y/l/n, aren't you too confident today? It's up to jury to decide, or have you already charmed one of them?" he leans on his cane, you put the money in machine and push the coffee button, discreetly taking a look at his knuckles, that are definitely bruised.

"The only charmer in the courtroom is you, Mr Murdock, I believe chances that you have already charmed that lady on the left are way higher." You smile, watching how the cup is filling up with hot drink.

"You think of me as a charmer?" Matt smirks.

"I think of you as a worthy opponent. Nothing more." You take the cup and hand it to Matt.

He takes the cup and smells it. "I'm forever in your debt now, y/l/n."

"Yeah, you and your partner." You click the button again, buying coffee for Nelson.

"My partner? Wait, so you, are buying drinks for me and Foggy?" Matt's smile is as big as his courtroom ego today.

"Well, I'm not a monster, you know." You roll your eyes.

"Didn't think of you as one." He says mysteriously and you feel the blush creeping on your cheeks. Not everyday you receive a compliment, especially with that attitude of yours.

"Here, I hope it's no trouble to hold another cup, or is Mr Nelson somewhere out there?" You crane your neck and look around the crowd of people, but Matt shakes his head.

"He's not here, I'll hold it." You put the cup in his hand, which is surprisingly warm.

"Friendship sixth sense?" You ask, but he just laughs the sentence away. "Well," you finally say after a moment, watching the coffee pour into the cup, "I'm good. Where to, Mr Murdock?"

"A place that is crowded? I assume you don't want anyone to see us together, as you know, as opponents, we're supposed to despise each other." He whispers devilishly.

"I like your thinking. Surely it would raise suspicions to anyone who knows us, they would probably think of us as best friends." You fake shudder and cross your hand with Matt's, taking Foggy's cup from him. His palm, that is touching your bare arm feels incredibly warm and heavy, and at this moment, you're just glad that the walk to the bench is not a long one.

"Coffee's nice." Matt finally says after a minute.

"Coffee's shit. Plus, we don't really need to talk, I don't want to lose the mood." You take another sip of the drink and lean on the bench.

Matt crosses his legs and turns to you, "What mood?"

"The mood of beating you." You simply say, downing the drink and tapping your pocket impatiently. You really needed a smoke but that would create even more distractions.

"We shall see about that beating. Maybe you were wrong all along."

"Listen, there's no way for Darcy to win. The will clearly states that Donovan gets everything-"

"If Darcy doesn't show up before his death." Matt argues, putting the cup on the bench, ready to wave his hands.

"But she showed up the day after he died." You press.

"Yes, after her father mysteriously died, and I believe that your client has something to do with it."

"What are you saying? Are you accusing Donovan of his father's death?" You say a little too loud. Couple of nearest people turn to look at the two of you, and Matt puts his hand on your arm again, leaning closer to you.

"Will you just keep your voice down? What I'm saying is that Donovan didn't even visit his father in years but suddenly shows up couple of weeks before his death? Right around the time when Darcy hired a PI? I know he's your client but doesn't that raise any suspicions?" Matt says lowly, almost whispering, his coffee breath hits your face.

"Murdock, I don't even know how to call what you're doing right now." You blow a raspberry but he squeezes your wrist a little.

"I'm not here to play sides, or to do you dirty, although I would really love it the other day, but I'm here to bring justice, and this whole thing smells shady as hell." He says and you lean forward, elbows on your knees, deep in thought.

"So if Donovan really had something to do with his father's death, although it's not possible. He died of a heart attack. Then what you're saying is that he did it on purpose when he found out of Darcy's existence?" You ask, raking your brain for any missing points, needing a smoke now more than ever.

"Yes, listen, I know it sounds crazy but it could be possible." Matt leans closer to you again.

"How would we know it? How did Donovan find out about Darcy if his mother didn't even know about the affair? And he claims to have never seen the will before his father's death. Also, that second will you brought up, doesn't make any sense. I've asked for the documents in the archive and never received it." You glance at the clock and stand up. "Whatever. It's up to jury now. They're gonna say their decision soon."

Matt stays silent, visibly lost in thought.

"You need help or can you manage through the crowd alone, Murdock?" You ask and he stands up, taking Foggy's cup and placing his palm on your elbow.

"Help would be nice, Miss y/l/n."

[teenagemutantninjaskrtels]

Hello! i saw your book blog asks bottom aren't showing :( was going to ask for tips on how to write eris or any gray character without accidentaly excusing them like sjm does to rhysand (I admit i havent read many books like this and i am well insecure about my writting)

I've closed it for a little while. I'm not an expert, but I would suggest with any writing, the more you read, the more you come across great pieces and also not so great pieces that help shape your own style.

With a morally grey character, I would first work out why they are morally grey. What is their motive/history? Is there a goal they want to achieve and will stop at nothing to achieve it? Or is it simply their character doesn't know the difference between right and wrong and feels little guilt with what they do. Don't just make them morally grey because it's sexy (which it is most the time lmao). I'd say most morally grey characters have a complex history that makes them that way. If you grow up surrounded by goodness and righteousness, there's little need to go into the darkness. Usually there is something traumatic that feeds into their personality.

My favourite morally grey characters are ones who get a little squeamish when they do the right thing.

Take Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows. Innocent boy thrust into a big city, trusts somebody, loses all his money, brother dies, goes through a massively traumatic incident that has impacted his every waking moment since - and is then hell-bent on revenge. Does he do a lot of bad stuff? Yes. Does he feel guilt over it? No. Why? Because he is determined on that path and seems unshakeable to remove himself from it. However, he is not completely bad. He doesn't seek to hurt just anybody he comes across; he always has his target in mind. But sure, if somebody became an obstacle, he'd have no issue in removing it. Take the way he behaves with Inej; calls her his investment, knows that hurts her to consider her as little more than a lavish spend, but does it to protect himself because he doesn't want to admit that he has feelings for Inej and she is more than an investment. (Close your eyes for spoilers - but by the end of the series, he's shifted that and even if he won't admit it, he's bought her a ship and brought her parents to Ketterdam because he knows it will bring her joy - and that doesn't benefit him in the slightest to lose her)

There are many book boyfriends who are "morally grey" - Wrath from Kingdom of the Wicked, Slade from the Plated Prisoner, Casteel from From Blood and Ash, people will say Rhys too. But it seems to me they just hurt people who dare speak against their love interest. Cardan Greenbriar from the Folk of the Air is one of my favourites because he falls into the trap of "crap, I have feelings so I'll disguise them with nastiness". He's cruel to Jude but if he acted on his feelings for her, it goes against the grain of what's expected of faeries. However, I don't feel like these are actually morally grey because they are only good to a select few and just tend to be bad as much as they can otherwise. In my opinion, the Darkling is not morally grey either. He wants power and doesn't care who he steps on. There's no goodness in him. His damn name is the Darkling.

If we take love out of it, for me, a morally grey character is somebody like Lorcan from Throne of Glass who knows he's probably not doing the right thing when he's hunting for Aelin, knows it will piss of Rowan, but he is duty bound to do it and that is the more important thing to him. That desire to fulfil his goal and please Maeve supersedes everything else.

If your morally grey character is motivated by achieving a goal then they hurt people in the process and don't apologise because their goal is what drives them. Or, if they do apologise, would likely do it again. However, it might be that internally, they do feel guilty, they do feel shame for hurting someone but their goal just matters that little bit more. I would amp up the internal conflict within them. The desire to do what's right vs what you want. (If you've watched Squid Game then I'm thinking Sang-Woo).

Morally grey characters:

use others to achieve their goal - this could be a way to generate that conflict "you used me!" yeah i told you i would, what's the issue

Lie so that others never know if they're being honest with them - and that feeds into the distrust

have flaws - Kaz is so dogged with his revenge that it rules him sometimes

believe what they do is right with little regret (azriel beating the crap out of eris in the high lord's meeting which in turn spooks mor but to azriel, he was doing the right thing defending her)

get their hands dirty even if it puts off other characters

get their hands dirty to benefit the people they care about e.g. wrath ripping out a tongue because they spoke against emilia

This might be controversial but I kind of wish sjm kept some of the things that rhys did UtM, including the winter court children because he was forced into that situation and had to keep up appearances for the sake of Velaris and the mask he was wearing. Would it be an absolutely horrendous thing to do? Yes. Do I think he would do it to protect the people he loves? Yes. Would he feel guilt? Absolutely. Which would make for a much more interesting character and change how his family perceive him. But then it got retconned away.

Morally grey characters are supposed to make you squirm. They have to do the morally bad things to be grey. Just hurting bad people is being the hero. There does need to be darkness. It's a spectrum; sometimes they're a little bit closer to the light. There needs to be moments when you think "no way have they done that".

There seems to be very few morally grey female characters that I can think of. Maybe Vanja from Little Thieves who commits crimes for revenge, hurts friends to meet her goals because otherwise it's her neck on the chopping board. Or maybe Sera from A Shadow in the Ember who is told she must kill Nyktos who she is slowly seducing whilst also falling for him too.

This was a very long ramble. Sorry.

Here's some links!

[mononijikayu]

no cause i feel like a lot of people forget stuff like this. people should know that some of the alicent story was taken from rhaenyra's story as the princess who became the realm's delight to the scorn of the realm. like the dress scene was rhaenyra's scene from the books where she wore black for the first time to protest alicent's rule over her. that sign of defiance was a symbol of rhaenyra's desire to break away from the system of westeros and from her stepmother who wanted to ruin her. that was her making a way, a step forward for herself where she can announce proudly that she will not lower herself for the system. she is going to break out of it and be herself, embracing a step forward

i mean, it makes absolute sense. rhaenyra descended from valyrians - who had the system of equal inheritance. visenya, rhaenys and aegon CO-RULED with equal rights to dragonstone. they did the same thing when they became king and queens of westeros. alicent trying to discredit rhaenyra and her sons was something that was literally stupid because inheritance laws tended to be between the chosen heir and because the laws of westeros itself (which alicent defends tbh) mandate that the father claiming the child AUTOMATICALLY makes them legitimate WHICH LAENOR DID. like thats how it works, especially if we consider that through both lenses - rhaenyra can inherit no matter what (semi-salic state) AND her kids having her blood makes them her heirs meaning no matter who the dad is then they inherit the throne no matter what (matrilienial line, historically used by MANY MEN to try and claim other thrones i.e henry vii of england thru margaret beaufort, charles v hre thru joanna of castille)

also we had a gap of SIX YEARS and none decided to tell rhaenyra about her father's condition, even as a curtesy. like why was there also no questioning about alicent removing targaryen symbolism? mind you, jocelyn baratheon (rhaenys's mother) was still alive, so were some of the other targaryen relatives. they would have seen this as TREASON considering not even king jaehaerys (who made deals with the faith and oldtown) did this. they would have been PISSED about both this and jocelyn's great-grandkids being disinherited by alicent's whispers considering jocelyn also suffered her daughter being disinherited from being crowned by oldtown (great council of 101) as well as considering jocelyn baratheon was the daughter of alyssa velaryon who was not only queen of aenys BUT ALSO HALF VALYRIAN. like, the fact that alicent just decided to remove targaryen heraldry in a targaryen and managed to get away with it SAYS A LOT ABOUT HER POWER AND HOW SHE USES IT. she was determined to put her family on the throne when her family was her kids as well, not just oldtown or her father. also her kids are targaryens??? should they not grow up knowing about their family and their history??? like???

people forget that rhaenyra was right that alicent cloaks herself in righteousness and then does so much shit behind that. like rhaenyra does this too but she has no qualms about hiding it. because she knows thats what she has to do to fulfill her duty AND to gain a footing for choices. especially when her ability to be like her predecessors was constrained by the those who want to force westerosi customs on them including the faith. alicent doesnt do that, instead she perpetuates the same system that cages her because it benefits her, it benefits her to have her children in power. especially a son which historically this has been a HUGE deal because sons were seen as a way out for women who had been powerless in the system (isabella of france, she wolf of france, invaded england for her son and ruled as regent for him and so did many other women.)

like the story is about the conflict of people's choices in a system wherein the valyrian way is rejected for the westerosi way. the westerosi way is literally medieval europe where women are bargaining chips in the game of politics, have to be delegated into a routine of childbirth and piety. but the valyrian way was akin to ancient times when women to a good extent had powers such as the ability to divorce, own property and wield power. and alicent is choosing the medieval society because it gives her what she wants even at the cost of herself being trapped in a society which does not value her completely. but then you have rhaenyra and rhaenys who completely embraces a life of choiced beyond the medieval life. and each character is paying for that price. alicent had plotted, had caused trouble and did much to hurt her kids. and her punishment was the distance between them, the misery of her kids and her own misery. viserys is the same way, he also suffers such misery of being distanced from rhaenyra, he is unable to prevent the collapse of his family and most of all, the peace jaehaerys gave to him was ALWAYS fragile and he just had to be the king who made it even more fractured. his punishements are numerous and people shy away from that. the show, the book was never about glorification. its about seeing the raw uglyness of humanity and finding layers of other things that make you sympathize and hate and love and grieve. its about people choosing so many bad choiced, forgetting that there could have been something more. thats what makes ASOIAF feel so human, feel so real. because it doesnt shy away from what complexity means to the black and white we usually see. what the bigger picture could be about.

visery having a rotten face isnt just about him picking sides, its about him forgetting what his choices had done. this is his payment for many MANY years of bad choices and bad actions. the rot seeped through from his forgetfulness of what a king's duty looked like. for embracing a system which killed off everything - gave choices to the women in his life and hurt them deeply. just like alicent, he embraced a system that failed many people and thats why he rots. because he is not only a father and husband that failed, he is also a king that failed to be THE PROTECTOR OF THE REALM. he failed to be all that was promised. thats why the throne cuts him, thats why he gets sick and thats why he rots. and thats what makes him mortal, more interesting, more horrifically tragic. because his humanness had caused so much hurt more than anything else.

I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how the half of Viserys’s face that’s rotting facing the greens and the half that’s fine facing the blacks is symbolizing their badness and goodness but I’d argue differently. The rotting side faces the greens because they are the ones that deal with Viserys at his worst. Alicent is raped by him. Aemond is mutilated and denied justices. They are the ones caring for him as he rots away and they see the worst of him. The blacks get his best side. Rhaenyra gets a loving permissive father. Luceros and Jacaerys don’t get punished for what they do. He protects them against rumors of bastardry. They visit him when they want his help but have not been there for his sickness.

The two sides of Viserys’s face are about the two sides of himself and which each cohort sees.

[thefanficmonster]

Angel With A Shotgun

Rick Flag (The Suicide Squad) x Reader (Female)

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE NEW SUICIDE SQUAD MOVIE, Death, Blood and Gore, Swearing

Summary: Being Christopher Smith’s best friend since the early days of army training camps Y/N is more than honored to be going on a mission with him. Little does she know, there are more secrets at play than she could ever imagine. Good thing the girl’s always prepared.

Requested by no one, I’m just PISSED!!! The writers did us dirty AS FUCK and I’m not gonna stay quiet about it so please enjoy this fic and let’s pretend it’s canon. Cool? Cool.

“Careful up there, ok?“ That’s the last thing he said to me before we went our separate ways, following the plan we had conjured up earlier. I knew he wasn’t referring to the bombs I was supposed to plant or the ‘always watch your back, even around allies’ rule. He meant it genuinely. And he meant it for me. That sentence coupled with the look in his eyes when they met mine was enough for me to read between the words and grasp the true message.

And all I could do was offer him a small nod and an even smaller smile.

A smile he vaguely returned before turning and walking off with Cleo and Grieves. And that’s how I remembered him, wishing for that picture to be the one I remember of him in case I die.

In case I die.  I never considered the other possibility.

“Listen, Y/N. I’m gonna do something bad. Something really horrible. But it’s the right thing to do. I must do it. You know I only do things I must, right? You know me.“ He pleaded with me, eyes begging me to trust him as he basically told me he was derailing from the plan we had constructed down to the tiniest detail. 

My hands shook as I adjusted the bomb to the wall, my eyes widening and any words I wanted to tell him dying in my throat, leaving me speechless before him. As if automatically, my head moved on its own, nodding. It’s the only thing I’ve known I guess. Chris says something and I automatically agree cause I trust him limitlessly. Isn’t that how it always is with best friends after all? Can anyone blame me really?

But can anyone also blame me for my gut screaming not to let it go so easily?

There’s no real friends in the field, Y/N. He’s got a mission, you’ve got one of your own. You shouldn’t even be here, goddamn it! Go! GO, right this instant!

Gut feelings, the closest thing to being psychic. And boy does Flag owe my gut feeling his life.

But heroism always comes at a price, doesn’t it? There’s always a reward and a price that you never saw coming in the first place.

The reward is easy to guess, but the price can vary so drastically it can never be measured or foreseen.

That’s what happened to me when I decided to follow Chris.

The task I gave myself upon boarding the aircraft was simple, and the biggest price in my eyes was losing my life but I was already prepared for that when Waller recruited me on the very first mission.

Little did I know the price of saving Rick would be the look of utter betrayal in my best friend’s eyes, looking at me with the same intensity as a hundred voices screaming ‘TRAITOR’ at me.

“I’m sorry, Chris.“ I managed to say, my hands gripping the shotgun with all my might just so I don’t drop it. “You were sent here to cover up Waller’s dirty laundry, and I came here to protect Flag.” I cock my gun upwards, praying Chris doesn’t notice how shaky my hands are. “So keep your hands off him!“

He shakes his head, “You have no fucking idea what you’re doing, Y/N! Him over me?! Some fucking nobody over someone who’s been by your side for a whole fucking decade?!“

I gulp, my resolve only strengthening as a result of his guilt tripping. “You heard me. Friends or family, you don’t get a second chance for being a traitor.”

“Me?! I’M the traitor here?! He just threatened to send our country into chaos because of his righteousness!“ He roared, his gun clutched just as tightly. It may be the tension suggesting it but eventually, I know it’ll come down to who’ll pull the trigger first.

And that realization has cold sweat running down my body.

“Fake peace built atop lies is worse than a war!“ I snap, now aiming my gun at him, determined to be the first to send a bullet flying across the room. Not cause I want to survive for myself. But for Rick. If I die, so will he. Chris doesn’t play fair. Rick is knocked out and Chris won’t even think before turning his body into a bag of bullets. 

I won’t let that happen.

A gun’s pointed at me now too, sending my heart beating louder.

“Then you’ve picked the wrong side.“ He mutters with despise, “If you see me as no friend, I have no reason to hold back either.“

And that’s the last push I needed to send those three bullets I had with his name on them straight into his chest, at least one undoubtedly hitting his heart.

Did it hurt with all the memories we have made together in mind? Of course it fucking did. I may be a soldier/criminal but I’m not made out of stone, damn it.

But did it feel relieving knowing what he was seconds away from doing? Pains me to admit but yes.

With a heavy sigh I sling my shotgun over my shoulder and carefully walk over to Rick’s still unconscious form laying on the tiled floor.

“Colonel?“ I whisper, ducking down to give his shoulder a slight shake, “Flag, please don’t do me like this, wake up. Please wake up, Rick.“ I jump, almost losing my balance when I hear what sounds to be Harley screaming for a brief second before a loud crash echoes above.

I can’t stay here with whatever hell my teammates are going through going on above my head, threatening to wipe them all out and them Rick and me too. So, I make a quick and a rather stupid decision. Slinging one of Rick’s arms over my shoulders I wrap an arm around his waist and somehow manage to hoist him up, bringing him weakly to his feet and earning a small groan from him as if reaching me from the other side of a wall of fog.

“There you are, Colonel. Let’s go, the team’s counting on us.“ I say, desperately trying to push forward with the weight of my shotgun and Rick pushing my already exhausted and weak body down.

“Y/N...that you?“ He asks, his voice groggy, “Or am I dead? Are you an angel? Where am I?“ 

Damn Chris must’ve knocked his head pretty hard, I think to myself.

Just as I’m about to answer, Rick lifts up his hand to run it over his face to help himself wake up fully but he accidentally hits the handle of my shotgun, causing him to let out a chuckle. “Angel with a shotgun, I see. Then it must be you, Y/N.”

“Bet on it, Flag.“ I reply with a chuckle, almost sighing with relief when he manages to hold some of his weight up by himself, “Not gonna lie, you gave me quite the scare.“

“Never gonna happen again. That’s a promise, doll.“ He drawls, his head resting against my shoulder more as an endearing gesture than need for support.

“Better keep it. Not looking forward to finding you actually dead one day.“

“No worries, angel. No such thing will happen.“

“Good.“

He knows better than to disobey an angel with a shotgun. Smart man.

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

Electric Love | Tsukishima Kei/Reader

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Reader, Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi, Tanaka Ryuunosuke

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei/Reader

Warnings: Mild swearing (and by that I mean, like, 1 swear)

Word Count: 927

Summary: Tsukishima Kei hated you. You loved that. Not him. Although the powers the be don't always work on your favour, and you're certainly shocked when you find your soulmate.

A/N: I wrote this a while ago. It's kinda cute, albeit a little cringy too, but ya know. we vibe

--------

Tsukishima Kei hated you.

Well, maybe it wasn’t so much of a hate, more of a mutual dislike that you somehow found yourself looking forward to.

There were no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it; in fact, you relished in this arrangement you had.

The moment you had laid eyes on the smug blond, you knew you were destined to get under each other's skins. You’d toss back and forth snarky remarks and insults as if there were never going to be an end - something his team seemed to enjoy considering all his idiotic brainwaves were focused on you.

Of course, you just had to find your way deeper under his skin by applying to be a manager. Oh how much pride you felt when his face dropped at the sight of you. You were at each other’s throats, not literally, but you didn’t miss the flash in his eyes as he snickering about nearly hitting you with the ball.

Today was no different. You were doing your job, gathering up balls that scattered around the gym. Hinata and Kageyama were still practising, much to your dismay, but you had to give it to them, their energy was endearing.

It wasn’t until a ball flew past you that you realised how zoned out you’d been. “Watch it!” You yelled, tossing a ball at Kageyama who didn’t have a chance to dodge it.

“Tsukki!” Hinata cried with joy, pointing at you with worried eyes.

“What do you want me to do about it?” The blocker asked, pushing up his glasses and shifting his bag. That wasn’t the first time he’d called you ‘it’, it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“I don’t know! Just stop her before she hurts me, too.” Hinata was joking, you knew that, Kageyama didn’t even look bothered by the fact you’d thrown the ball at him, a little pissed, but he wouldn’t yell.

Tsukishima turned to you, smirking down as you tightly gripped a ball.

“What got you all worked up? You miss me that bad.” Self-righteousness dripped from his tongue.

“As if,” you growled, tossing the balls back into their container, “I was finally starting to feel happy until you showed your ugly snout, pig.”

“At least I’m not a feral dog.”

“At least people like dog’s.”

“Is that your half-assed way of confessing to me?” You rolled your eyes. “Sorry, not sorry, but I’m going to have to say no.”

“Good, because I wasn’t confessing.”

“Then why are you blushing so much?” He leaned in closer and you actually had to think, am I blushing? A soft glare pulled at your features and sighed.

“You wish I was.”

“You look stupid when you’re concentrating.”

“At least I don’t need glasses to pretend I’m smart.”

“Short-stack.”

“Four-eyes.”

“Did you really run out of insults that quickly?”

“I hate you.”

“Same, now we have something in common.”

“I’m going to punch you now.” At least you had warned him. You expected him to move, but he didn’t, just smiled as you threw a punch at him with all your might.

The moment your fist hit him it felt like a lightning shock had gone through your arm, you both stumbled back, hissing in pain. What was- your mind went through the memories of your mother explaining how she’d met her soulmate, ‘it was like lightning, but he was there to comfort me, so nothing else mattered.’

Kageyama and Hinata ran to both of your sides, trying to figure out what had happened, whether you had actually managed to punch him that hard; you looked up, eyes meeting with Tsukishima who had his face twisted in anger.

“What the fuck was that?” Daichi ran into the gym to see the two of you staring at each other, the dynamic duo freaking out.

“Absolutely not.” You growled.

“That did not just happen.” Tsukishima hissed.

“Of all people, why did it have to be you?”

“I know, like, I’m so amazing and you…” He motioned to you, as if it should have been obvious.

Your hand was shaking. Was that really the first time we’ve ever touched? Every other time you’d tried to punch him, he’d dodged you, or you fell over from the impact. Of course the first time he lets you touch him, you find out you’re soulmates.

“I hate you so much.”

“I guess you don’t have a choice now,” he snickered.

“Stop smiling, you look like a tree.”

“Better than being a stump.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“You just tried to!”

“Can somebody explain what’s going on.” Daichi had his hands firmly on his hips, eyes darting between you and Tsukishima.

“Go on, soulmate,” Tsukishima nudged you. You could have punched him again but the captain just stared at you both with wide eyes.

His mouth dropped open, slowly pulling out his phone from his pocket and calling someone, this is not going to be good. “Hey, Tanaka, who had money on them being soulmates again?”

“You were betting on it!” You and Tsukishima yelled at the same time, turning to glare at each other. “Stop doing that!” The other three burst out into laughter.

----

It was true; Tsukishima Kei hated you. Though that was a thing long in the past. He never thought his heart would flutter at the sight of you in a white dress, sneering at his blush that danced on his cheeks.

“You really look stupid right now,” you giggled when you reached his side.

“White doesn’t look good on you.”

“You love it.”

“Do I?”

“You do.”

--------

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[my-unmanageable-mischief]

Valentine’s Day

For the Anon who requested : hi lovey in time for valentines could you write a harry fic about it?? (-: maybe something that starts angsty and then ends in fluff

Not too too angsty in the beginning, I’m bad at writing angst, but I hope you enjoy it! 

Harry Potter x Reader

“Where’s Y/N?” Hermione asked, sitting beside Harry, who was sulking on the sofa. He shrugged slightly, playing with one of the pages of his 6th year potions book.

“I don’t know,” Harry answered drily, not looking at his friend. “I haven’t seen her.” 

“Is everything alright?” She prodded gently. Harry didn’t answer for a moment, still not looking at her. He didn’t partially want to talk about you at the moment. 

“We had a disagreement,” He finally admitted. He didn’t tell Hermione why or what it was about. He didn’t need her to confirm that it was his fault, he knew that already. 

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Hermione sighed, “It’ll be alright, I’m sure you two will work it out.” Harry frowned, setting the book aside, taking his glasses off to rub his face. 

“I’m not so sure this time,” He whispered, “She’s pissed, rightfully so.” Hermione nodded her head, patting his arm gently. 

“What happened?” Harry sighed again. He’d been a rotten boyfriend all year, and you had so much patience with him. He barely spoke to you, caught up in his own head- his own problems, he couldn’t even see you were struggling as well. He took your love and time for granted, and you had told him so, and even then he didn’t see how hurt you were. He had argued with you when you came to him, asking for him to consider your feelings and he felt like an idiot now. 

“She was upset, I reacted badly.” Harry admitted finally. All you wanted was for him to consider you. But he was so caught up in himself he couldn’t. Your last words before you stormed off still rang in his ear. ‘You spend all your time, every waking moment thinking about the bloody half-blood-prince, maybe he should be your girlfriend.’ and Harry knew you were right. But for some reason he simply couldn’t stop himself. 

“Harry, have you tried apologizing?” Hermione asked and he huffed. Of course he had. Sorta. Not really. He should have. But in the moment of your fight he couldn’t let go of his own righteousness to see the bigger issue. He should have told he was sorry, and that he loved you, and that he would try and spend some time being your boyfriend again. You were right. You used to study together, eat your meals together, even sometimes just wander the halls together, but so far, this year, every time you had asked that of him Harry had some excuse. Mostly that he was busy. 

“We just argued, then she stormed off, I didn’t get the chance.” He shrugged, waiting for Hermione’s I told you so. She patted his arm again, making him look at her. 

“I’m sure that’s all she wants.” Perhaps, but you deserve more than just words. “She loves you, Harry, one little fight hasn’t changed that.” Harry hoped she was right. He couldn’t lose you over something so stupid. Just then you entered the common room flanked by a few of your friends who you’d been spending more and more time with. Harry looked over at you, standing from the sofa. He needed to apologize. 

“YN!” He called, you glanced over at him, “Can we talk?” 

“I’m busy right now.” You answered simply as you kept walking with your friends, past him, and right up the girls staircase. Harry fell back into the sofa, covering his face with his hands as he groaned. 

“I’m screwed.” Hermione frowned, glancing at the stairs then to her friend. 

“I’m sorry, she needs time. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, why don’t you try and do something nice for her?” Hermione offered helpfully. Valentines Day, Harry had almost forgotten, that would have really added fuel to the fire. He nodded, gears in his head beginning to turn as he tried to think of something worthy of you to give. 

“That’s a good idea,” He nodded again, getting up from the sofa, he grabbed his potions book and Hermione glanced at it from the corner of her eye. “Thanks Hermione!” And with that he turned, disappearing up the boys stairs in the same way you had a moment before. Harry was gonna make it up to you. 

  You woke up to a vase of flowers with a note on your nightstand, smiling slightly to yourself. You sat up, touching one of the flowers gently before grabbing the note to read it. 

/Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N. I love you, and I have another surprise for you later tonight if you’re willing to see me. Meet me in the common room at midnight. 

Love, Harry/ 

You smiled gently at the note, placing it beside the flowers. You glanced at Hermione, knowing she probably placed them there for him, she made eye contact with you and you mouthed a small ‘thanks’ to which she nodded. You got out of bed, going to the loo to shower for the day. 

You got dressed in something cozy to combat the rainy weather outside and went down to the common room. Harry was sitting on the sofa in his Quidditch gear, Ron across from him in an armchair, when he saw you he stood up, his hands held nervously in front of him. 

“Y/N,” He greeted you, you smiled softly, coming to him. You reached him and stopped, hesitating for a moment before leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. 

“Thank you for the flowers.” You murmured, Harry relaxed and pulled you into a hug, dropping a kiss onto the top of your head. 

“Of course, Happy Valentine’s Day, love.” 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Harry.” You smiled into his chest before pulling back, “Do you have Quidditch practice?” You asked, playing with the front of his uniform. 

“I do, it won’t be for long, promise. We can study for a bit afterwards, can you help me with charms?” He offered up and you smiled, looking down. You patted his chest and nodded your head. 

“Of course, that sounds nice. And at midnight?” You asked, glancing up at him, Harry grinned, pulling you into another hug. 

“That’s a surprise you’re going to have to wait for.” He spoke gently, glad to have you back in his arms- he couldn’t stand it when you were upset with him. You chuckled and pulled away from him. 

“I’m meeting some of the girls in the library, have fun at practice, I’ll see you later.” He held onto your hand a moment longer, squeezing it tightly. 

“Alright, have fun.” 

  Harry was true to his word, you spent the rest of the day, once he was done practicing, just sitting in the common room doing assignments together. It was nice to finally spend some time with him, you had missed him. When it was time for dinner you ate together alone, which you appreciated. Usually you just sat with him and Hermione and Ron, which you didn’t mind, but it was nice to get some well needed alone time with him. 

You ate, alternating between talking about your week and Harry making jokes so you’d smile. He missed your smile, more than he liked to admit. He took your hand in his as you sat and you smiled up at him. You could never stay mad at him for long. And it was obvious he was making an effort just for you. 

Later that night in the common room you sat with him and his friends, his arms around your shoulder. At around ten you said your goodnight, planning on spending some time getting ready before your surprise at midnight. Harry planted a small kiss on your lips before you went and Ron blessed you with an ‘ewww’. Everything felt like it was going back to normal. You were grateful. 

At midnight you snuck from your room and down to the common room, where it was empty. You looked around for a moment and suddenly Harry appeared, taking his cloak from him, you gasped, placing a hand over your chest. 

“Merlin don’t do that!” You whispered, and Harry grinned cheekily at you. He came over to you, throwing the cloak over you as well, “Where are we going?” You asked hopefully. 

“I don’t you, you can’t know yet.” You whined as Harry guided you from the common room. He placed his arm around your shoulder as you walked and you leaned into him, smiling. You reached a statue and Harry reached his arm out from under the invisibility cloak to touch it, when he did it moved. 

“Are we leaving the castle?” You questioned him and he shushed you as he helped you into the secret passage. Once the Statue moved back, you were plunged into darkness. 

“No, not quite,” He assured you, removing the cloak and lighting the end of his wand, you took his free hand, gripping it tightly. “Scared?” He teased and you shook your head. 

“No, it’s just... spooky.” You admitted softly, and Harry pulled you closer. “Are you just trying to make me scared so we can cuddle?” You asked, “You don’t need to take me to some dark and dingy corridor for that, you could have just asked. Harry laughed and shook his head as you walked along. 

“No that’s not my motive, I just wanted to bring you somewhere we could be alone.” You grumbled as you continued to walk, trying not to trip over rocks as you went. 

“Coulda be alone and warm in the common room,” Harry shook his head, nudging you. 

“It’s an adventure, Y/N.” You laughed at that. 

“Everything is an adventure with you, Harry.” You informed him and he shrugged innocently. In the distance you saw the soft glow of some light and you stopped walking, tugging on Harry. “Someone is there!” He kept walking, tugging you with him. 

“No they’re not, that’s your surprise.” He assured, but you were still worried as you walked towards the bend in the corridor. When you turned you stopped, gasping. 

“Oh Harry!” You gushed, looking at the scene, “When did you do this?” There was a blanket sitting on the floor and a million candles charmed to float around the area, basking it in a warm glow. There was a box of Honeydukes chocolates and a small wrapped present sitting on the blanket. Harry put his wand out and tugged you forward again, sitting and pulling you with him. 

“After you went upstairs, I came and set everything up.” He admitted and you smiled, leaning against him and looking around at all the candles. 

“It’s romantic, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble for me,” You assured him but he shook his head. 

“You deserve to know I love you, and I haven’t been doing a good job at it recently, I needed to show you how worth it you are.” You took his hand in yours and smiled softly at him, and he placed a small kiss on your lips. “I’m sorry I’ve been a shite boyfriend.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry, I may have overreacted.” 

“You didn’t,” He assured you seriously, “You were right to call me out, I got defense that’s why we fought. Not because of anything you did. Because I was a git.” You brushed some of his wild curls from his face and smirked. 

“Yes but you’re my git.” You promised him, and he leaned in for another kiss which you happily returned. When he pulled back he grabbed the box of chocolates, handing them to you. You happily opened them, grinning ear to ear. 

“They’re my favorite, thank you, love.” He nodded his head watching as you popped one in your mouth before offering to feed him one as well. He opened his mouth and you placed the chocolate there smirking as you chewed. 

“Delicious,” He laughed with his mouth full and you giggled, cuddling into his side again. When he swallowed he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. “I really am sorry.” He reminded you, and you smiled again, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“I forgive you,” You promised him, “I just missed you. I was worried you didn’t.. Want to be around me anymore.” You admitted softly. Harry kissed your temple, shaking his head. 

“Of course not, I love you.” You smiled up at him.

“I love you too,” Harry reached past you and grabbed the small wrapped parcel before handing it to you. 

“I got you something.” 

“I didn’t get you anything,” You admitted sadly, “Who's the bad girlfriend now?” Harry shushed you, shaking his head. 

“Not you, just open it.” You sat up slightly, gently unwrapping the box, then you opened the box revealing a soft maroon colored material. You pulled the item from the box and unraveled it, it was a lovely silk scarf in Gryffindor red. 

“I love it!” You grinned, wrapping it around yourself. Harry grinned back, gently touching the material that was now around you. 

“I hoped you would. Hermione helped me pick it out last Hogsmeade trip.” He admitted, “You know I’m bad at gifts.” You chuckled, grabbing his face and kissing him deeply. 

“I love it,” You repeated. “I love you,” 

“I love you too, Happy Valentine’s Day, my girl.” You continued to grin happily, looking at the scarf then to your boyfriend. 

“How’d I get so lucky?” Harry flushed slightly and shrugged his shoulders. 

“I ask myself the same question every day.”

[normaltothemax]

It wasn’t that Jason thought Dean would be happy about his explanation, or anything, he just hadn’t expected him to be that angry. He hadn’t expected such a visceral reaction, the amount of venom in his voice when he spoke. Dean had gone entirely still, muscles taut as he gripped the counter (and was it just Jason’s imagination, or could he actually hear the counter creaking in the man’s hands?)—Dean was pissed, and Jason didn’t bother to hide his surprise.

He blinked, stunned silent for a long moment. Was Dean really that upset on his behalf? Why? What had Jason done to warrant that? Sure, they hung out sometimes. Jason would even go so far as to call them friends. But the only people he’d ever seen get that righteously angry on his behalf, he’d considered family at the time (he tried not to think too hard about that now). Were they really that close?

Close enough that Jason had shown him his face and told him his name, he supposed.

There was also this part of him—a small part, one that he didn’t really like to acknowledge—that had thought that maybe, just maybe, Jason had been overreacting to the entire situation. After all, it wasn’t actually all that surprising that Bruce had saved the clown, given his no killing code, was is? And it wasn’t like Bruce had even tried to kill Jason, or anything. He was too skilled with the batarangs for that to have ever even been a real possibility.

But seeing Dean react like that…it made Jason think that maybe he was right to be as upset as he was. Maybe he wasn’t just letting his emotions get the better of him, like the little voice that sounded like Talia so often told him. Seeing Dean so angry was…pretty damn validating, actually.

He tried to ignore the warmth that flared up in his chest.

“Pretty sure he wouldn’t like you on principle.” A bit of a joke, halfhearted at best—Dean had dedicated his entire life to killing, Bruce would hate him—but the exhaustion was starting to weigh on him, and he was really sick of being emotional tonight.

Jason stayed where he was, arms crossed, eyes narrowed at the sandwich, for a long few moments. Being difficult just for the sake of it. Standing his ground on the “I’m not hungry” stance he’d taken up.

Eventually, though, he relented and sat back down with the sandwich and his stupid Pepsi. “Yeah, whatever.” He lifted up the top piece of bread, inspecting what Dean had put in it. When he didn’t seem to find anything offensive about the ingredients, he placed the bread back down and stared at it again, before finally, grudgingly, taking a bite.

---dean expected it. without a doubt, he knew what he said was going to piss jason off. he wasn't lying when he said he could have been him in another life, but that was why dean knew it would get under his skin. he could have almost timed that 'fuck you' down to the second. then came the scraping of the chair legs against the worn wooden floor. it was like he wrote the playbook himself. dean could take all the heat jason threw at him. he knew the anger in his words wasn't even really directed at him. it was just a defense mechanism. no mask to cover up with tonight so instead angry words would have to do.

he didn't even turn to look at jason while he got it all out. dean just kept working on his sandwich. it was a good thing though, because the hunter didn't think he could have totally schooled his expression while jason yelled out the details of what happened to him. as it was, the butter knife in his hand was certainty not as straight as it was when he first started using it.

dean had done his best to keep his distance from jason. (not that it had really worked.) it was for the best. people that came into his life had a habit of exiting his life in a body bag and he didn't want that for this kid, but that didn't mean he still didn't know some details. he knew about the bat family, how could he not? he knew about the joker and he knew about the details of jason's death. (they had that in common. it wasn't often you shared digging yourself out of your own grave with someone.) so as jason explained just how the gash across his throat had got there that night dean could feel a white hot curl of rage slowly building in his gut.

dean and jason shared a lot already and now apparently they had one more thing in common. a really shitty father.

a million things swirled through the hunter's mind at once. it would be so easy to cruise into gotham, cause some problems, get the bat to show up. dean knew he was just a man. it didn't matter if he was some genius detective. that didn't stop buckshot to the face or calling heaven's wrath down upon you. (not that he could do that personally, but he was pretty sure he could call in some favors.) that didn't stop an angel blade or death's scythe.

but deep down dean knew that one on one chances were he wouldn't survive an encounter with batman himself. no matter how much he wanted to go toe to toe with him right about now. and jason didn't need that added onto his plate.

dean gripped the counter to steady himself. the tension was written all over him. how dare someone put a monster like that before their own damn kid? maybe he was a little triggered. maybe it reminded him too much of his own childhood, but he was pissed. (john had put the mission before his own boys many a time.) it was a long moment before he finally spoke. "your dad is a piece of shit and his code can go to fuckin' hell. he better hope we never meet. 'cause he really ain't gonna like me."

there was a lot more dean could have said on the subject. dean was not like the bats. he was a kill 'em dead type of hunter and he really didn't get the whole idea behind putting the same killers back in arkham over and over again. wasn't that basically insanity in its own right? but he was trying to be a little civil for jason's sake. even if dean did think he was a piece of shit, it was his dad.

after a few more moments the hunter seemed to uncoil and he finished putting together the sandwich. the butter knife was bent beyond all fixing and dean chucked it in the trash. the sandwich was casually set before jason like he hadn't just lost his cool a little there. "hope you like turkey and cheddar." he wasn't buying the whole 'not hungry' bit anyway.

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Blame it on the Firewhisky’ (wolfstar)

Blame it on the Firewhisky, by weightyghosts

“Sirius makes a drunken mistake at a Hufflepuff party and has to find a way to convince Remus that he’s still completely devoted to him. Unfortunately, Sirius is also still very drunk and really just wants to go to sleep.

Aka Remus’ patience is stretched beyond its reasonable limits.

Aka Sirius is a bad doggie.”

Rating: teen

Word Count: 5408 (2 chapters)

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published on: February 22, 2021

Warnings: swearing, intoxication, alcohol consumption, infidelity, dub/con (I promise the two people kissing at the beginning of this fic are equally drunk and no one is being taken advantage of, it’s just a misunderstanding- however, if consent and alcohol makes you uncomfy, please skip from “at some point” to “er, I actually have a-”)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29596605/chapters/72748656

    Sirius Black loved snogging. It was rather one of his favourite pastimes (just above tormenting Snivellus), and up until recently, four months and three weeks ago to be exact, he’d thought that snogging was as good as it could get. If he was involved in the snogging, it was bound to be brilliant because he was brilliant at snogging. Ask anyone.

What occurred four months and three weeks ago, was that Sirius discovered there was a way to make kissing even better, to make it a mind-blowing, body-shaking experience. All he had to do was kiss Remus Lupin. And Merlin, did Sirius fucking love kissing Remus Lupin. It quickly became his preferred way to spend his time.

Last week, during a thoroughly delicious snogging session, Sirius briefly considered placing one of his infamous Permanent Sticking Charms on their lips so they never had to part. But that would have impeded his other hobby: consuming firewhisky. (Also occasionally eating and shouting obscenities at his brother, but he could’ve sorted something out.)

The party this evening seemed to have an abundance of both Remus-kisses and firewhisky, and both in excess. It was a raucous affair, in celebration of Hufflepuff’s defeat of Ravenclaw in Quidditch, and boy do those Hufflepuffs know how to throw a party.

He couldn’t be sure how much firewhisky he’d ingested, but seeing as he could hardly stand up straight at the moment, it was safe to assume it had been a lot. There might have also been a butterbeer or two at some point. Or maybe Remus had drunk the butterbeer. Sirius could certainly taste it on his lips now.

His mind swam back into consciousness and he realized there was something hard and uncomfortable pushing into his back. There was also something hard pushing against his front, but it was more soft and pleasant.

His tongue was definitely in action, and he should probably do something with his hands (Remus did enjoy a good bum squeeze during times like these), but it was entirely too much effort to move his arms from their resting place on his boyfriend’s shoulders.

Remus didn’t seem to mind though, judging by the throaty noise he’d just made. It wasn’t a noise Sirius had heard before, but that’s alright. He also seemed to be producing more saliva than usual, but that’s alright too. There was a hand slipping under his shirt, and Sirius sighed happily, making Remus’s shoulders shake with giggles. Remus didn’t often giggle, but that’s alright.

He found a way for his brain to send signals to his limbs again, and slid his hands down Remus’ chest and abdomen, and around to his cute little bum.

“Bloody hell,” Remus whispered, though it didn’t sound like Remus, but that’s al-

Wait. That didn’t sound like Remus?

Sirius sluggishly opened his eyes (not a small feat), and looked up into the bleary, blinking brown eyes of someone that was definitely not his boyfriend. “Agh!” He exclaimed, pushing the person away from him, “The bloody hell’re you doing!”

The person, a bloke, a student, a Ravenclaw by the looks of him, stumbled backwards, tripped over a chair, and fell in what seemed like slow motion, landing on his bottom.

“Whaz’tha for, Black?” The Ravenclaw boy asked indignantly, though his outrage was severely undermined by how much he was slurring his words.

“You were kissing me!”

“You asked m’too!”

“I- what?” Asked him to? Sirius would never ask anyone to kiss him that wasn’t a honey-haired werewolf with a repressed biting kink.

“You dragged m’in here!” The boy said as he slowly stood up. He swayed heavily on his feet before stumbling sideways into a desk, which he managed to keep himself upright with. “Ow. I mean, I think y’did. Someone did the dragging in the...here.”

Ah, good. At least they were both completely shit-faced.

“Well y’shouldn’t snog dunk-drunk people,” Sirius declared, quite righteously, though he had a sneaking suspicion his outrage was also being undermined.

“Neither should you!” The other boy pointed out.

Sirius thought about this for a second, then decided he would rather be doing anything other than thinking. “Fair enough,” he replied pleasantly.

He straightened himself up, taking a deep breath to steady the alcohol he could feel dancing through his veins, and took a step away from the door he’d been leaning against (and the large brass doorknob that had been digging into his back). He walked towards the Ravenclaw, almost tripping over his own feet, and stuck his hand out to shake the boy’s, but missed wildly and jabbed him somewhere south of his ribs. “Whoopsy, sorry, mate.”

The boy waved him off and pushed away from the desk, moving quickly towards the door.

“Hey! I’m going tha’way!” Sirius yelled.

“’S’only one exit, Black.”

Sirius was fairly certain there were two, but he could have been seeing double and therefore didn’t trust his eyes. He nudged the other boy out of the way and opened the door, walking through and blinking into the sudden brightness of the torch-lit hall.

“Where the sweet Circe am I?” He mumbled to himself, not able to remember what part of the castle he was in or how he’d gotten there. Damn Hogwarts for having so many wings and hallways and walls that all look alike.

“Did y’know your hair smells like- like candy floss?” the Ravenclaw slurred, coming up from behind Sirius and leaning in to his side.

“Huh,” Sirius replied distractedly. He had no idea why that would be, and didn’t really care at the moment. Where even were his so-called best friends?

“Y’know what?” The boy asked.

“Mmh?” He tried to focus his eyes on any portraits or landmarks so he could figure out where he was. There seemed to be a fair number of students in the hall; it must not be past curfew yet. How pathetic. Blackout drunk before curfew.

He felt warm puffs of breath on his neck. Was that the painting of the fruit near the kitchens? Were they near the Hufflepuff common room? That rang a bell, didn’t it?

“We should do this again when we’re sober,” the boy said directly into Sirius’ right ear.

“Er, I actually have a- Moony!” Sirius called excitedly when he spotted his boyfriend, relief flooding through him at the sight. Moony will be able to tell him where he is.

Remus was standing very still after just emerging from a hidden door with a few other people Sirius didn’t bother looking at. Remus didn’t look very happy for some reason.

“A what?” The Ravenclaw mumbled questioningly into Sirius’ neck.

A muscle in Remus’ jaw twitched and it was like a switch had been flicked: he stormed over to Sirius, fists clenched, with an absolutely murderous look on his face. Sirius couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was when he wanted to kill someone, his eyes bright and deadly.

“What the fuck are you doing, Sirius?”

“Aw, why’re you grumpy, Moony?” Sirius pouted at his beautiful angry boyfriend.

“Ohh, ’s’this Moony?” The boy asked, lifting his head and circling a heavy arm around Sirius’ shoulders, “I thought y’said, ‘moon me,’ which I thought was a bit, y’know, aggressive since it was our first time snogging.”

Sirius giggled. He was definitely going to ask Remus to moon him later. He was about to tell Remus so, when he noticed the hurt look flash across his face, followed by stone cold fury.

“Snogging?” Remus asked in a deep, dangerous voice.

Sirius frowned at him, then turned to the Ravenclaw boy, having to lean back so their faces weren’t too close. He’d forgotten they’d been accidentally kissing. He looked back at Remus for an explanation for this strange turn of events. Remus was always able to explain things so very well with his smart words.  

“I see,” Remus said, and Sirius swore he saw the wolf lurk behind his amber eyes; not the playful wolf who liked to romp around with Padfoot, but the wolf that would tear a human to shreds if given the chance. “Guess you don’t need me around, do you, Sirius?”

“Moony!” Sirius whined, attempting to push the other boy off of him. “It’s not like that! ’S’just a mistake!”

He wished he wasn’t so pissed so he could properly explain to Remus what had happened; he was sure Remus would laugh about it when he knew all the facts. He managed to prop the boy against the door of the classroom, and finally got a good look at him in the warm light. A small laugh escaped his lips.

“Look, Moony, Moons, look, you’re practically twins.”

This wasn’t strictly true. But the boy was tall and lanky, with similarly-coloured hair to Remus’. He whipped his head back to Remus with a grin on his face, the bun on top of his head wobbling carelessly, certain that Remus was about to start laughing with him. He did not.

“Sirius,” he said in that same low voice, “When have you ever known me to wear a fucking Ravenclaw Quidditch jersey?”

Sirius’ eyebrows knitted together in confusion and he looked back at the not-Remus-bloke. Sure enough, he was wearing a blue and bronze Quidditch jersey, an eagle prominently displayed.

“When’d you put tha’ on?” He demanded, suddenly very annoyed with this person he only now hazily recognized from one of his classes. Herbology maybe.

Remus huffed. “Don’t worry, Sirius, I’m sure you can offer to take it off for him. Don’t let me stop you.”

“Noo, Moony! I don’t want to take anything off, it’s-”

But Remus shoved Sirius aside and kept walking down the hall, not noticing, or not caring, that Sirius had tipped over and fallen into a statue of a badger. It gave Sirius a dirty stare for disturbing it, before returning to its regal position upon a boulder.

“Y’r boyfriend doesn’t seem very happy,” the boy stated, helping Sirius stand up, then helping him again when they both fell back over.

“No, I don’t s'ppose he is,” Sirius murmured, brushing off the boy and starting to walk away in the direction Remus went. At least, he was pretty sure it was this way. He called over his shoulder as he went, “Bye, Ravenclaw.”

“M’name’s Benjy!”

“Yeah, yeah, bye, Benny,” Sirius said, waving vaguely behind him and pushing through a group of Hufflepuff girls. His mind was whirling like the first time he tried to apparate, but he managed to focus on one thing: Moony. Moony thinks he cheated on him. His Moony thinks he cheated on him. His Moony is upset.

He has to find his Moony.

*

Read chapter 2 here!

[blasphemous-tiefling]

I think part of the reason why there’s so much discord in the MCU fandom has something to do with the varying directors for TFA, The Avengers, Winter Soldier, AOU, Civil War, Infinity War, and Endgame. And really, the backbone of the issue is how the different directors and how the audience interprets Steve’s character. Strap in. Because this is a long rant on a topic that normal people really don’t care about.

Joe Johnston created a Steve Rogers that was eager, begging to go to war. I absolutely adored the line in AOU when Steve says, “What kind of monster would let a German scientist experiment on them to protect their country?” Because I feel that sums up Steve in TFA pretty well. He’s anti-bully. He wants to fight. But his whole life he’s been put down, stomped on. Steve repeatedly enlisting is both selfish and selfless. His conversation with Bucky in TFA is a great example of this. Steve says, “There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.” And Bucky says, “Right. Because you’ve got nothing to prove.” And that’s it. Yes, Steve wants to fight because he’s always been bullied and doesn’t want anyone else to feel that way. Yes, Steve wants to fight because he wants to defend his country. But also Steve wants to fight because no one has ever given him a chance. Steve wants to fight because he wants his life to mean something. Steve wants to die in battle because he thinks it’s honorable. He wants to prove himself. Steve wants it so desperately for both selfless and selfish reasons, which is why he was so willing to take the serum despite the fact that Erskine told him about past failures. There’s even a certain selfishness to his sacrifice at the end of TFA. Many stories that involve sacrifice ride the line of selfishness and selflessness. By sacrificing himself, you could argue Steve is taking “the easy way out.” He’s distraught over Bucky’s death. He’s won the battle he’s been fighting since getting the super soldier serum. By sacrificing himself, Steve can effectively end the troubles caused by the Tesseract and leave without dealing with the consequences of his sacrifice. This point is a bit of a stretch, and not something that I personally agree with, but the thought it there.

Joss Whedon takes that selflessness and turns it into irrefutable righteousness, and it’s disgusting. Steve has a few goofy lines in The Avengers and AOU that I’ll laugh at, but ultimately, everything he does seems so out of character for him. His constant nagging and arguing with Tony is so unnecessary and doesn’t build friendship. His desire to do everything S.H.I.E.L.D. tells him to do is completely incorrect because Steve went against the military and broke the 107th out of the Hydra facility without permission and repeatedly did whatever he wanted without asking. His incessant need to have all the Avengers do as he says is totalitarian and unbearable to watch. Truthfully, this is where I think people misunderstand Steve the most because not everyone watches every solo movie. The Avengers movies are the biggies that most people won’t miss. So general audiences only see this righteous, dictator Steve Rogers and that really pisses me off.

This is one of the only times you’ll hear me praise the Russos, so get ready- Thank goodness Winter Soldier and Civil War follow Joe Johnston’s characterization of Steve. They even dig into his selfishness and rebellious streak, which I adore. Steve isn’t one to just blindly follow orders. Hello? Does “not a perfect solider but a good man” ring any bells? Perfect soldiers follow orders. Good men fight for what’s right even when the world is telling them not to. That’s who Steve Rogers is. What I adore about Winter Soldier so much is that we see Steve attempting to be this perfect soldier, but it’s just not sitting well with him. Something is fishy and weird. He talks to Peggy about her life. She says her only regret is that Steve didn’t get to live his. Steve talks to Sam about possibly getting out of government work. Sam is that representation for Steve- having a hard time finding out why he’s really in it to begin with. The entire film is about Steve going against the government, military, and S.H.I.E.L.D. with both selfish and selfless desires. He knows he needs to do something because Hydra is growing in S.H.I.E.L.D. but he also doesn’t want anything to do with it anyway, so why not tear it all down? Once Bucky is revealed as the Winter Soldier, Steve puts his life on the line to try to get him back. It’s selfish really. When Steve takes off his helmet and drops his shield, he made the decision to die because he wasn’t gonna continue to live without Bucky. Despite the fact that Steve made friends with Natasha and Sam, he didn’t care. All that mattered to him in that moment was James Bucky Barnes. This is very reminiscent of TFA when Steve breaks Bucky out of the Hydra lab. As the world’s only successful super soldier, Steve could’ve been very valuable to the American government and military. He was even doing mild good by helping sell bonds. But that didn’t matter. His country and his military was no longer priority number one. When it comes to Steve Rogers, nothing and no one means more to him than Bucky. Steve and Sam’s conversation that I previously mentioned also parallels this. After Sam lost Riley, he didn’t want to be in the military anymore. He said he felt like he was up there just to watch, nothing he could do. This is a direct parallel to how Steve feels about Bucky.

Civil War, while a trash movie, sticks with Steve’s selfish yet selfless motivations. “What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go and they don’t let us?” Not wanting to surrender his right to choose is Steve Rogers. He just put down S.H.I.E.L.D.- an organization that was giving him demands. Why would he sign his life away to the American government again? Corporations can be run by greed and corruption- something Steve doesn’t want the world to be full of but also something he doesn’t want his world to be ruled by. When Bucky is framed for killing King T’Chaka, Steve knows the Accords will bring Bucky in and possibly execute him. He can’t let that happen. And he asks Natasha not to get in his way because he doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt. He knows how dangerous Bucky can be, but he doesn’t want Bucky or anyone else getting hurt or in trouble due to this sticky Accords situation. Both selfish and selfless. I don’t even want to get into later in the film, but I guess I will. Guys, there’s no world, no universe, no place in time that Steve wouldn’t try to stop Zemo. Tony never even gave him the chance to explain himself. It was either, “Come with us or we fight.” Steve gathered that team together- not to fight Tony but to fight Zemo. It was never his intention to fight with Tony. He was just trying to stop Zemo. Now, when Tony learns about his parents’ death, anger is a valid emotion. Physically fighting and attacking Steve and Bucky to the point of death? Not valid or even remotely reasonable. It makes no sense as to why Tony would be that angry at Bucky- someone who was tortured and brainwashed to do what he did. Steve had his reasons for not telling Tony considering that when it comes to Steve Rogers, nothing and no one means more to him than Bucky. Of course, Steve was going to hide the truth from Tony in an effort to protect Tony, Bucky, and himself. Selfish yet selfless.

Infinity War gives us the glorious lines of “I’m not looking for forgiveness. And I’m way past asking permission. Earth just lost her best defender. So we’re here to fight. And if you wanna stand in our way, we’ll fight you too.” and “We don’t trade lives.” These lines beautifully sum up Steve’s rebelliousness and need to fight while also not risking others’ lives. He’ll always risk himself first. There’s not much to say about this film considering it’s mostly action and Steve shares the screen with just about every other superhero, so we’re not given a lot of time. But overall, the Russos kept that same Steve Rogers.

And then Endgame does a complete 180 and decides to serve us Joss Whedon’s Steve with a conservative, pro-military, unbelievably illogical twist. Steve’s obsession with Peggy in this film is so out of place. She would’ve died seven years prior in the MCU. Steve’s been living in the present with Natasha, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, and T’Challa. That was his family. He lost Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, and T’Challa in the Infinity War. It only makes sense that he would be fighting for them in Endgame. Yet he’s not. We’re beat over the head about how much he misses Peggy and it’s so unbelievably weird. Steve is never allowed to mourn Sam and Bucky specifically despite the fact that they were his number one companions. He never mentions them. Never has a touching reunion with Bucky. Barely has any reaction to Natasha’s death. It’s disgusting honestly. This is not “I will fight to my death for the people I love” Steve Rogers. And the ending is the most pathetic of all. There’s no world, no universe, no place in time that Steve would willingly go almost a hundred years away from Bucky and Sam, somewhere he wouldn’t fight for others. “Pretending you could live without a war.” I mean, come on. He’s Steven Grant Rogers. It’s disgusting to paint him as this man who would throw away his friendships and a world that is being bullied all for some girl he kissed once and barely knew. No. No, no. Not my Steve Rogers.

I give the directors a little too much crap. I’m fully aware that a whole team of people make these movies, but you can’t deny that Steve changes from movie to movie depending on the director. Endgame is the exception in which the directors were the same, yet they diverged completely from their original interpretation of the character. I’ve heard people say that it had to be an anti-gay agenda- that ending Steve’s story with Bucky would’ve been too gay even if they weren’t romantically involved, but I still think that’s pathetic. Honestly, I would’ve rather seen Steve die than have his character trashed and pooped on like this. From a narrative perspective, what happened in Endgame is not okay. Marvel Studios’ treatment towards “sideline” characters like Natasha, Rhodey, Sam, and Bucky- particularly in Infinity War and Endgame- is not okay. Yeah, I’m aware I get too heated over this fictional universe. But the characters are the only reason I stick around. The stories are lackluster for me. I’ve never been one to watch movies for action sequences. But I’ve always been in love with Steve Rogers as a character- complicatedly riding the line of selflessness and selfishness, dedicating himself wholeheartedly to a cause and to the people he loves. When in the end that character was completely scrapped and shredded in the garbage disposal like crust on bread or the skin of an apple, I’m gonna be angry for a long time.