#and then the juicy ones are perfection

[miurnawantsmayhem]

Fruits hit different when you haven't eaten them in a while

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

[canisalbus]

sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful

.

[essektheylyss]

picnic lunch of cheese and crackers made exponentially more hedonistic by the inclusion of a pluot, mankind's closest attempt at achieving godhood to date

[nationalnerdsociety]

reminder that famous people are also just some guy, don’t put them on pedestals, be aware that they are not perfect and remember, men ain’t shit

[ghostsbestepisodetournament]

Parings are, once again, done by a random picker wheel, may the best episode win!! :)

[fluffypotatey]

Read a fic and found myself thinking “what if Mac got hurt bad trying to save Swk from the furnace or any other thing he wasn’t there for” would Swk tell him he shouldn’t have come instead, because Swk should have been strong enough to handle it as the monkey king or would it cool the flames just a bit to prevent full blown disaster later down the line. also, love how the shadowpeach fight happens with Mac already feeling like he betrayed Swk, like he doesn’t even have to say it Macky is already feeling that way and trying to suppress his other feelings because it feels wrong to feel them when your conscious is reminding you that you betrayed your friend and oh, when the lid pressing down on a steaming tea pot is knocked off those emotions come harsh and fast. So how’s your day going?

my day was pretty good……………until i read this :)

[tojiscrack]

as a jobless tumblr user i’m glad this is my only job

🫡 (toge calling out y/n is my favorite part, hope he does it again for the two seconds he exists)

personally i think it’s a very good occupation to have (motivating me to write). i like seeing the end results for myself and you make a lottt of people happy with the writing i end up doing. it’s a shame employers don’t think this is relevant 😐

(unfortunately toge does not mention it and neither does y/n but they 100% will talk about it in future chapters since megumi is a menace and loves using it to gag his best friend every once in a while when she steps out of line)

[ice-devourer]

my niece wanted pizza but my sister told me she eats a lot of those already and requested not to let her eat fastfood as much as possible during her vacation here, so,,,the options for her early dinner this lovely 5 pm are

1. hamburger steak w mozzarella-filled patties & mac n cheese

2. baked chicken w mustard veloutte & toasted butter bread

3. pork cutlet w cheesey scrambled eggs & rice

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Omg...... Like Mother, Like Daughter is doomed Yuri (half yuri? One sided yuri?). TT0TT Sol doesn't feel the same way I'm pretty sure (sadly), but Som is DEF down bad. TT0TT And Som's not exactly the most mentally stable jakfjdksalfj (I think she has a bit of a "Sol's my pet" vibe going on as well. Som means well but she is NOT healthy either jfakslfj oh this is just going to be a fucking wreck I'm ready let's GO!)

(spoilers under cut, also under cut cause length and pictures)

Like she saw the boy Sol is hanging out with and was just ">:("

*sobbing* She is SO DONE when she finds out they are dating TT0TT

*sobs* ahhhh! klasjfdk OhmyGOAD SHE is tREMBLING as Sol tells her how she got with the guy TT0TT

She is literally SULLEN that Sol and guy have been dating FOR A MONTH! she looks os SICK TT0TT

My poor girl is literally doing the Arthur fist clench with her fist TT0TT

Som! Som! Girlie! I don't think this is just a friendship for you anymore.

LKFJDASKLFJKLAJFKL WAIT

"Anyone can see at first glance that he's good for nothing. But how does she not see that?"

OHHHHH MY GOD SHE'S LIEK 'HE SMELLY. HE STANK. HE POOR. HE BROKE. HE TOO NORMAL FOR HER." GURL! GET OFF THE FLOOOOOR!

"To be honest, I wish they'd break up" NO YOU DON'T SAY???? nEVER WOULD'VE GUESS!

Oh I was just here for the matricide but I've been blessed with more angst! Let's goooooo!!!!!!!!!

[neosatsuma]

late summer peaches. you agree.

[floralovebot]

What kind of vices do you think Helia has?

OUGH i love talking about the many problems he has <333

Here are some of his canon vices!

Very self-deprecating - It gets better later on and especially as Flora hypes him up, but Helia tends to think of himself and his actions in a very negative way and doesn't do much to challenge that narrative. He unconsciously relies on the others to make himself feel better a lot!

Self-critical - A thing that can be good in moderation, but like all vices, Helia takes it too far. He's overly observant and critical of himself to the point where it's like he's playing the observer all the time. He then gets anxious and convinces himself he's a horrible person cause he made One mistake. Way to go dude

Escapist - He has a hard time sticking around once he's convinced himself that people would be better off without him.

On a similar note, avoiding conflict. It may not seem obvious since Helia occasionally calls out the others, but that only happens when he's genuinely not in the wrong (or doesn't feel in the wrong). If something happens that he thinks he caused or was involved in, he tends to avoid that conflict and fallout.

And if I'm being honest, avoidance in general. Again, it's one of those things that gets missed easily, but that sort of mysteriousness/shyness that people often see in Helia? That's usually avoidance from him! He avoids talking to people unless they speak to him first, he avoids telling people about himself or his life, he'll outright ignore people if he doesn't like them, etcetc. There are times when it's for a good reason (not talking to the trix for example) and times when it's incredibly annoying and counterproductive (like with the specialists or flora). It should be noted that this behavior mostly shows up in his personal life rather than on missions but if anything, I think that shows he's aware of this but doesn't change it.

Impulsive - Again, it may not seem like it but Helia is very impulsive! A lot of the decisions he makes throughout canon are done in the moment and with very little thinking. It's easy to miss because Helia is a fast thinker and quick on his feet so his actions often seem more planned out than they actually are, but if you look at the individual actions themselves and how quick he makes them after Just thinking of them, it gets really obvious. In the show, I'd say the best and most well-known example would be in his introduction episode, aka the monster stunt. Again, it's easy to miss, but that wasn't planning or cautious thinking from him, that was full on impulsivity (both grabbing the monster And leaving). Other good examples would be the Shaab Stone arc in the comics (literally an entire arc of Helia being impulsive as hell), the s2 florelia kiss scene, Helia saving Sky in s2 when they're in Darkar's Fortress, and him running up to every enemy.

I'm not sure what you would call this, maybe recklessness?, but Helia often has very little regard for his own safety. He regularly puts himself into dangerous situations that he doesn't Need to be in without thinking about how badly it's gonna hurt him. Well,,, he does think about whether or not it'll kill him, but if the answer is "no", then it doesn't matter how much danger he's in, he's gonna do it. This often ends with one of the specialists yelling at him which is funny but Still. I do think it's important to note that he's not reckless with the other's safety (he's overly cautious with them) but he definitely is with his own.

I feel like there are others I Could list but they don't show up quite enough for me to call them his vices (ie the occasional stubbornness, lack of confidence, or jealousy). I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS LIST OF HIS MENTAL ANGUISHES I KNOW I DO

[batsplat]

if you could change the outcome of any 3 motogp races (the outcome of the championship doesn’t change regardless tho) which ones would you chose?

one of those asks that immediately made me forget every single race I've watched in my life. it's a tough one, especially with the championship thing... I'm gonna add another criterion here and say nothing to do related to injury/death

so... I came up with one quite quickly, then got stuck, then came up with a second and got even more stuck. I'm quite reluctant to change any 'plot-relevant races' in the context of specific careers and rivalries, plus I'm ideologically opposed to stealing any win off a non-alien and giving it to an alien. which then kinda left me?? well. stuck. I don't like these picks but well maybe I'll come up with something better at some point

assen 2018: I simply could not come up with a third race so I'll just throw this one in. dovi + valentino really really should have gotten onto the podium in this race, those were extremely podium-worthy performances, it was such a deeply silly incident between the pair of them that took them out of podium contention. also it's still seen as a classic race and... I don't even begrudge the two beneficiaries for their podium, it's just one where the three best riders that day didn't end up on the podium and I would change that!! I don't even really care that much but also look I had a spot to fill. would've enjoyed the rancid podium vibes, it's what a race of that quality deserved

sepang 2018: just deeply annoying? like, I think it was a super impressive performance, the consistent lap times trick from a 78 year old was very neat, it was cute when jorge did unprompted valentino prop for metronome solidarity reasons, it's one of literally two premier class races where valentino crashed out of the lead so I don't even hold it against him. but... well, that one might have been building to a battle between marc and valentino, and it would've been fun to see that! not least because of location + relationship vibes in 2018. I'd change the result in preventing the crash, don't really care who wins after that point - hey, they can crash each other out if they want. I Just Wanted To See It

styria 2020: bit of a niche one but I remember being pissed off by this so I'm going with it - this should have been mir's win without the bloody red flag. now I'm very sorry that maverick was just having an abysmal time in austria, peace and love to him, I'd probably never step foot in the country again after the eight days he had in that country.... but still, his bike attempting to murder him did ruin what really should've been joan's first win. I'm very defensive of mir's win stats and I was supporting the title bid with zero wins agenda once that looked plausible, but now that he's just gotten stuck on one win for quite a few years... well, again, I do think it's kinda iconic but I'd also let him have two. and back then he wasn't even really looking like a title contender and was still going for his FIRST win.... I was feeling very sorry for him so. there

[lialox]

Wish I could tell my readers that having two very distinct genres clashing in one story is both a major narrative tool and vital foreshadowing in the context of metafiction.

And I can! In about 30k more words.

[sophiasi1172]

Nobody tells you how to recover from seeing the queen 🐝. Like it’s been 2 days but I’m still in AWE. I was literally CRYING in bed while watching through the concert videos on my phone.

[izurou]

michael kaiser .. (´♡ ‿ ♡`) !!!vssvksnx. !!!!