#and then someone who's an anti said okay i'll do it

[jlf23tumble]

"and shocker they don't get paid to do a shit ton of work to find vintage t-shirts for free" HS fashion archive gets paid for their posts but LT fashion archive doesn't? I always thought they posted because they were their fans and then they become solo Harries like most former "big" larries.

[elfwreck]

I have a friend who isn't anti-porn but it makes her sad that fanfic has a reputation for being porny and usually not very good. I'm fine with both those things and my views mostly align with that of AO3. I disagree with the idea that porn and badness are treated as equivalent, but for most people that's just how they think. But I was wondering if youve ever written something about this?

There is a lot of smut at AO3.

There is a lot of bad writing at AO3.

There's a lot of badly written smut at AO3.

...None of those are problems except for the people who think there is something wrong with those existing, or that there needs to be some external value that "balances" those that make those acceptable to exist as unwanted side-effects of "the good stuff."

The badly-written smut is also "the good stuff."

It's part of the reason AO3 exists. It's not intended to be an archive for "the high-quality fanfic that could be published if it weren't about characters that someone else wrote first"; it's an archive for "what fanfic writers want to write." That makes the terrible writing and the tacky porn and the badly-written tacky porn part of the reason the archive exists.

Tangent 1 (I'll connect these points later): Theodore Sturgeon said "90% of everything is crud." He was more-or-less referring to the science fiction field in the 50s, but it definitely extended to politics, business, and writing outside of science fiction.

...He was talking about published books in the 50s. Turns out, a lot more than 90% of writing is crud when there aren't any gatekeepers between it and the readers. But also:

Tangent 2, from the book "Art and Fear":

[A] ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

You don't get to "quality writing" without going through a lot of crappy writing.

That doesn't mean the crappy writing is garbage to be thrown out. If you make 50 pots or bowls or vases, and only one of them is The Good One... most of the rest are okay. Maybe not sale-quality good, but your-kitchen-table quality good. Maybe some aren't that good and are kids-toy-in-the-sandbox level good.

Bad writing has a purpose for the writer: they can use it as practice to get better. It has a purpose for the reader: It can serve as inspiration ("I can do better than that") or grammatical instruction ("that...does not work; why doesn't that work?") or just as entertainment ("eh, so it's missing a few commas; I can still understand it").

Smut and porn writing works the same way. It's of some value to the writer, and some to the readers.

It's not of value to everyone. That's what tags and filters are for, and why there's a summary and list of stats (like word counts)--so you can figure out if you're one of the readers for whom this piece of writing is useful or interesting.

But AO3, like any library, is not there to take the top 5% of Excellent Writing and provide it a showcase. It is absolutely for all 50 lbs of pots.

If your friend wants to read the good stuff, there are rec lists and collections to help her find it.

If she already manages that, and is just annoyed at how much of the not-good stuff (however she defines that) exists... she's picked the wrong battle. She's arguing with the ocean that it has too many kinds of fish and some are poisonous a lot of them are ugly.

[mechaknight-98]

Caiju Clean-Up Crew (NSFW) Ft: Momo

When you first came to Earth you were surprised at how kind the Earthlings were, despite being in a constant war with the kaiju. It was endearing, to say the least, but that was two, or three no 5 years ago. Now you were fully integrated and couldn't leave all that cleanly, so you got a job at the Kaiju defense force clean-up team and lived with your friend Momo Hirai, a highly loved and popular anti-Kaiju fighter.

While at work a new employee approached you asking to go to lunch with you. You tell the lady politely that you already have plans to have lunch with your roommate and she sighs before leaving you alone. You finish cleaning up the pieces of Kero Kero, and check your watch,

“Okay, lunchtime,” you say. You wave your friends off and jaunt over to the office. Mono is waiting for you outside in her civilian clothes and mask. So she wouldn't be mobbed by adoring fans

“Ready?” she asked. You nod as you follow her.

The both of you go to the garden of the Anti-Kaiju Defense Force Headquarters. You open the lunch boxes you packed for the both of you. Momo smiled as you handed her food.

“You know what I love most about your cooking hayato-san?” Momo asks you

“The fact that I don't have to make it,” Momo said before taking out her chopsticks and digging in.

“Oh Hayato sensei.” you hear a voice come. You groan as if it were the new worker from earlier. She was pretty, too pretty she drew too much attention to herself and it didn't bode well for the flying under the radar you had been doing for the last year.

“Uh Yeah Mrs Chou.” How can I help you?” you asked Mrs Chou

“Oh so polite, but please call me Chewy everyone does.” you nod at Chae’s request

“Okay, Chewy how may I help you,” you respond

“ I heard you got the highest recorded score for the aptitude test in the history of the AKDF. I was wondering if you could help me as I'm retaking it in three weeks and I'd like to move from clean up to the frontlines and I figure who better to teach me than the prodigy himself.” Chewy says to you. You sigh seeing the optimism and hope in her eyes, but before you can dash little Chewy’s dreams Momo steps in.

“I'll work with you,” she says with a rare smile you recognize as a challenge. You cock an eyebrow at your roommate. “Besides you don't want yato-san as a teacher, he will overload you with information you don't need.” Momo teased.

“Hey they had to change the test because of me,” you said defensively with pride.

Momo rolls her eyes and then faces Tzuyu. “We’ll get you in top shape regardless,” she says

Tzuyu smiles and then thanks the both of you before leaving. You turn to your roommate confused.

“Why are you getting her hopes up? You know how the AKDF are.”

“Because we need more lady front liners and you are too pessimistic,” she says

You tilt your head and reply, “Well if everything was not so engrossed in politics I would have helped her, but the higher-ups they'll eat her alive.”

“Good thing we're going to make sure that doesn't happen,” Momo stated matter of fact

“What do you mean we? You agreed to tutor her,” you called

“Please Yato-san that big ole heart of yours is going help and you know it.”

You groan as the both of you finish up lunch and then head back to work.

The rest of the shift lacks considerable amounts of excitement so Momo and you are both able to head home rather easily and earlier than normal. You and Momo arrive home within seconds of each other. You sit on the stool by your shared countertop when she opens the door. She smiles at you seductively. She grabs you in a hug. You can feel the stress in her body intertwined with her body as much as her curves are.

“What happened today ?” You ask

“What?” Momo responded

“Your tension. It's like if someone injected cortisol into every part of you.” you follow up

“What?” Momo said

“The stress chemical,” you explain Momo nods.

“I always forget how smart you are because of how lazy you are,” Mom says.

“So you're just going to ignore my question? What's up? Is something wrong.”

“No big dog everything is fine. It's just I have been testing a new anti-kaiju weapon, and it's been quite…what's that word you use when something makes you tired tolling?”

“It's probably taxing. Or you could mean it taking a toll.”

Momo clapped and said “The first one.” you smiled at your roommate.

Momo yawns before looking to you for comfort

“I know it's my turn to do dinner and lunch but Yato-san can you do it? I am so tired Yato-san can you help me shower too? I'm too tired after today's fight,” she says with a teasing smile. You consider her words. Your roommate was gorgeous by both Hyperion and human standards so you couldn't complain seeing her body you were also drained from your work today so it was not as enticing a proposition, but when you saw her fall asleep standing you knew she was exhausted. You catch Momo luckily before she falls and she smiles at you. “Thanks Yato-San.”

you smile saying “Any time.” you pick up the slightly older woman and carry her to your apartment’s shared bathroom. You sit her on the toilet before readying the bath and boiling and grabbing all the ingredients for a quick 30-minute meal out. You head back to the bathroom where Momo is already asleep again. Her breathing is fatigued something you have seen before many nights when the two of you would study relentlessly during training camp for the AKDF. You smile as you get up and help her undress. As you leave her grasp to let her get into the tub she grabs you.

“Please stay,” she says.

“But.” You try to respond but Momo counters

“Please” You knew she had you when her eyes did that big pleading thing where she looked at you like a small animal. Helpless and vulnerable. So you relent. You undress as well which causes Momo to blush.

“What? I’m not wasting water if you want me to stay with you, we are showering together like old times.” Momo chuckled as you took your shirt off.

“Wow, you’ve let yourself go.” She teased.

You cock an eyebrow before saying, “Hey watch it. One more snippy comment and I’ll leave.”

Momo nods then shuffles slowly to the bath. As the two of you clean the other off she sighs and says, “I have been so tired lately.”

“Me too and going to sleep doesn’t help as well.” You agree

“Yeah, I keep having this dream of being chased by a giant kaiju.” Momo states

You turn to her, “Wait really? What kind?”

You ask her and she briefly describes the same Kaiju who had been chasing you as well in your dreams. You groan and get up. Momo looks at you confused.

“I’ll be right back.” You say

“Wait why?” Momo asks

“We might have an infestation.” You say. Momo snaps to attention and follows.

The two of you get dressed and head outside of your apartment. You notice every acting sluggish and tired. This serves as only more fuel for your theory. You walk out of the building grab a big rock and throw it at a window. When the window doesn’t break you turn to Momo. She nods and heads back to HQ. Not wanting to waste the time though you find a quiet place with no prying eyes and take out your rizer. You use it to transform into your Hyperion form where you see the leaching kaiju attached to your building. You grab the camouflaged kaiju and slam it safely away from your building. Without wasting any time you use your Special particle beam to kill it and fly away looking for a safe place to go. Change back into your human form. On the way back to your apartment you pick up one of Momo’s favorite sodas to allay suspicion.

When you arrive back at the complex Momo is there she turns at you.

“Where did you go.” She asks suspiciously

You hand her the soda and she takes it graciously.

“Hyperman showed up and killed the kaiju for us,” Momo says relaxed. You nod. “I know I was not a fan of his but I do appreciate his return. At least this once.”

You nod and say, “Well at least we can rest now.” Momo raises an eyebrow

“I’m feeling rejuvenated. We should spar.” Momo said shadowboxing your way. You smirked at her but eventually let her have her way. You follow her back to the HQ. The two of you badge to the surprise of the attendant waiting

“Oh, Mrs. Hirai good to see you.”

“Great to see you, Mina.” You wave at the attendant

“Good to see you Mrs Myuoi.” You say. The attendant who was also a frontline fighter on leave for mental health smiled

“Please Hayato you don’t have to call me that.”

“I do when you outrank me.” You tease

“Oh please we both know half our defense team wouldn’t be here without our “Friend-Father”” Mina fires back.

You shrug. “How’s Dahyun?” You ask.

“Oh, she’s good. She has been working hard for her next promotion so she can join us in the frontline fights. You should reach out she misses you.” You chuckle.

“She knows where my office is, and my open-door policy hasn’t changed.” Mina nodded and said that she’d tell Dahyun then. The two of you walk to a sparring room that should have been empty but was full with Drill Instructor Jihyo teaching a group of recruits. Jihyo’s stern facade instantly melts when she sees the two of you.

“Yato-San, Momo Unnie.” Jihyo greets you and Momo with a smile. Momo and you hug Jihyo before she asks if you guys are looking to use this sparring room. Momo nods.

“Wow just like old times. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since graduation.” Jihyo says. Momo and you have since reminded me of the slow creep of time never stops.

“Well I’m done with this class do the two of you have any advice for them?” You scratch your facial hair at the wide mix of students before saying “Learn Kaiju anatomy. It will increase your combat effectiveness with less expenditures of energy and resources. One well-timed hit at a Kaiju’s weak point will do more than 100 rounds of Arakami bullets.” Momo laughs at your correct statement.

“Stay well rested. Kaiju attacks can happen at any time and even though Hyperman has helped us with a lot of battles we can’t rely on him for every major battle.” Momo says Jihyo agrees with that more than your advice which stings a little since the two of you used to be so close. If you were the dad friend she was for sure the mom friend. but you didn’t hold it against her. As the class leaves Jihyo turns to the two of you and says, “Try not to tear the roof off this time.” You assure Jihyo that you’ll keep Momo in check

“Hey, it’s not my fault the new Kaiju weapon was so powerful,” Momo said defensively.

After that, it was just the two of you again. You get into a fighting stance. Momo looks at you surprised.

“That’s Hyperman’s fighting stance.” she says You shrug and Momo stops, “No you just can’t shrug that off,” Momo says. You worried your cover had been blown.

“Take this seriously. Hyperman’s style is sloppy and too showoffy.” Momo said. You stood there taken aback for a moment, not sure what was more surprising.

“Hey, he’s not lost a fight so he must be doing something right.” You challenge

Momo rolls her eyes again before saying “Fine have fun getting beat up.”

“You can try.” You say.

Her first attack is predictable. She opens with one of her famous kicks. You roll out of the way and trip her still-planted leg. She looks at you wide-eyed. You look at her and raise your hands. Momo's twin kicks to recover her footing. You back up and she does three flips to lead into a chop. You dodge and grab her arm before slamming her (gently) into the mat. You back up and retreat to your ready stance.

Momo was not lying when she was rejuvenated she came at you for 3 more hours of sparring. It went about the same as the beginning Momo would do an offensive move you’d block or dodge then gently reset to neutral. This frustrated Momo to no end making her sloppier and wilder as the match went on. Eventually, she grew tired of your guarded and defensive style. So she decided to adopt a mirror stance to yours instead of engaging she planted her two feet down. You smiled as she tried to taunt you into charging

“Come on make a move. You scared. See anyone can just durdle and play defensive.” She yelled. You smile and switch stances. Momo looks on in concern. You approach slowly. You make one strike which she guards but due to the sheer force, she still stumbles back. You give her time to recover. She makes a measured and calm strike. you block and make an open palm strike at her chest. She falls back. You wait for her to get up and change stances again. You begin to circle her slowly. She strikes at you with another powerful kick and you turn and return with a kick of your own, she received the hit and lands on her butt. She finally taps before you help her up. You turn back to see you have gained a crowd watching the two of you spar.

“Alright shows over,” Momo says as the two of you walk out.

The two of you arrive back at your apartment where you begin cooking again. Momo still having restless energy begins feeling you up while you cook.

“Ugh, I hate how good of a house husband you are,” she says

You turn to her confused

“It's an expression, don't they have those in America?” you hesitate as you nod as being “American” was your cover for the time being.

“It means you are good at doing stuff around the house. Considering how many times I haven't had to go hungry because of you looking out for me.”

You look at her confused as you ask “So what's your point?”

“Oh come on. I'm not doing it for you. I have been practically throwing myself at you the last few months.”

“Oh well excuse me for remembering when you said. I like you but not like that. I only like you as a friend.” You tease Momo. Momo smirks

“Can't a girl change her mind?” she cooks. You roll your eyes at her. Which causes her to smile before bringing you into a heavy kiss. What caused you to snap out of it was the burning sensation from the stove your hand was on.

“Ahhh. That hurts.” You grimace.

Mono smiles before saying, “I just wanted to give you a taste of what's to come.” to further her point she seductively puts her finger into the pan you are using where the food is and erotically takes a swipe before putting said finger in her mouth.

“Delicious as always.” Mom exaggerated before sashaying away. As her body moves you are mesmerized by the way her ass looks in her tight battle outfit. You feel the blood rush to your other head as try not to think about all of the less-than-virtuous things you'd do to her. You finish cooking without any disasters and set the table and food for Momo and you. “Momoring food is ready,” you say curious as to what she's doing.

Momo walks out of her room in her bra and underwear which isn't an uncommon occurrence. What she usually wears is a sports bra and boy shorts, but today she opted for a bold and brazen red and black lace lingerie set. You blink three times before your self-control shatters. You get up and kiss Momo with passion and emotional build-up you've had since you met her 4 years ago. When you break it her pupils have dilated so intensely there is hardly any brown left.

“Whoa someone is pent up.” Momo teases as she begins to caress your clothed erection.

“Shut up,” you say taking off your pants. Momo smiles. She even giggled when you picked her up, but that all changed when you put her in a mating press. She groans as do you as you penetrate her for the first time

“Ahh ugh.” she moans luridly

You begin to thrust and Momo yells “Oh god yes. This cock is filling my tight pussy so well.”

“Oh you like it?” you tease

Momo moans as you fill her, “God I love it. Why have you been hiding this cock from me for so long?” as you thrust her womanhood clenches your manhood with the clinginess of an anxious lover.

“You're so tight Momoring, why are you worried I'm going leave you.”

Mom turns to her face to you. Those gorgeous brown eyes glare fiery and passionate.

“I guarantee I gotcha.” she purrs before initiating a torrid kiss. She regains dominance over you by forcing her tongue down your mouth when you break the kiss she smiles caressing your face. “Cum for me honey.” she teases causing you to erupt violently within her walls. You scream from the intensity of the orgasm. When you regain your senses you set Momo down and you use the countertop to steady you. Mom stares you down as she dips a finger into her pussy where your cum is trailing out of her. She smiles and traces a line of semen with her finger before bringing it up to lick it.

“Hm, you taste good as well,” Momo says with a voice made husky by the overwhelming erotic pleasure she felt. You give her the time-out gesture which makes her laugh. She sits down to eat the food you made with a smug grin.

“Don't tell me you're all tuckered out,” Momo says with a mischievous tone.

“Listen when you have 4 years of emotional catharsis built up and then released by your unrequited lover then you can talk.” you fire back. Which causes Momo to take a step back,

“Wait we've known each other 4 years?” she says confused

“Yeah I know I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you, but how could I not? You came into my life like a battle angel, full combat gear the mecha suit wings. It was stunning.”

Mom smirks then smiles you sit down and begin eating with her.

“So you have liked me all this time?” she asks again. You nod before she gets up walks over to you and starts stroking you to hardness. When you're aching again she plants herself back on you. You groan still sensitive from the last time.

“Tell me what you love about me!” she demanded as she began to ride you with a tortuously glacial pace.

“I love your tenacity and enthusiasm for your craft. You work so hard and it just fills me with pride and admiration for you,” you respond. Momo speeds up

“More.” she moans

“You also aren't consumed by the job you still maintain your identity in all of this and it makes me ahh,” you say as you trail off her pussy is dripping wet but she is still oppressively tight if not tighter with each praise from your mouth.

“Come on I’m almost there.” she groans as she expertly grinds over your cock.

“You're such a good girl, you are so kind and helpful to all of those around you,” you say also nearing another climax as she continues to bounce on top of you. You do notice an intense string of tightness from Momo when you call her a good girl so you go all in

“Oh, you like being my good girl? (her pussy vice grips you driving you feral) well, I like you being my good girl too. (you squeeze her ass) My good girl has the nicest ass. My good girl has the prettiest brown eyes and the tightest pussy.” that last line sent her over the cliff and she exploded all over you.

“Oh god. Oh god, I'm cumming” she moaned as she came. You feel her squirt all over you and her pussy attempt to milk you for all its worth. As her orgasm raged on she continued riding you before saying “Come on baby cum for me I need it.” her words set off a cascading effect causing your second orgasm and pushing her into another one of hers. As the two of you cum for what feels like hours (it's actually like 7 minutes.) the two of you make out and paw at the other desperate to keep the high going.

When the two of your bodies finally calm down Momo asks, “Do you have any of your kaiju clean-up supplies? Because we made quite a mess.” you roll your eyes, and she gives a hearty laugh.

[ultralightpoe]

Anti-hero - Roy Kent

Authors Note : Based off a request I got {Could you do a Jamie or Roy fic with a girl who feels self conscious as their date to a gala or something? Lots of fluff and comfort! If you don’t want to write it, no worries 💜} A quick reminder that you are all beautiful and truly wonderful. You all deserve the world, and I hope you all find your own Roy Kent. -Ultralightpoe

Word Count: 3,997

Warnings: self doubt. curse words

Requests: OPEN

Main Master list - - Midnights Event List

(Thank you for the gif @50shadesofpemberlypost )

x Enjoy x

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

Midnights become my afternoons

When my depression works the graveyard shift

All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

- 

It had been an issue for years, one that was directly caused by your mother. 

It’s not that she was a villain, and it wasn’t like she knew she was doing it anyways, it was always something that just managed to slip out of her mouth in passing moments . A quick ‘that shows your back fat’ there and a ‘are you sure you like that color? It washes you out baby’. Always said with that tone that made you rethink every decision in life. 

She did it out of love. 

But the comments she made built up, that and the pressure of school and social media building up. It all took a toll on you. You found your life mixed with new issues. Anxiety, self-doubt, depression, and you became a new person. 

It was like a shadow version of you, one that tracked how much she ate and thought about how loud she laughed and how much was too much talking. Every single move you made was tracked and overthought.

But then Roy came into the picture. 

At first you did what you usually did, you tried to speak low and not draw too much attention. Tracking how much you laughed and how much you ate. It was fine because your friend group never really realized it, they didn’t know a thing was out of place. But Roy, who had been brought by his sister, was quick to call it out. 

“Fucking stop that.” He muttered when you tried to fix your skirt, using his hand to slap yours away. “You look fucking perfect. Take a breath, yeah?”

“I just…. I’m debating the color, everyone else wore pastels and I hadn’t realized that it would be that type of party.” You admit, body hot with embarrassment as a group of girls pass you at the party. But that was the least of your worries, you had eaten too much cake and had tripped on the stairs in front of your friends. Could everyone see your makeup on your neck? Were they laughing at you-

“Do you overthink everything?” Roy blurts, catching your elbow to pull you back gently as a waiter with a heavy tray passes by. “Because I’ll tell you right now that you’re the prettiest fucking woman at this party.”

“You can’t say that at someone’s birthday party.” You laugh, stepping closer to him without realizing. “That’s one of the biggest rules. It’s like saying someone is prettier than Aphrodite. Next thing you know that person will be cursed to marry your father because the goddess hates you.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s…. Greek mythology. I’m not going to marry my dad. It… okay. I’ve ruined this so I am just going to-” You move away quicker than he can follow and you think that it was over. But you had not known just how determined Roy Kent was. 

Soon enough he was taking you out, one date became 4 which led to a relationship. 10 months in and you were the happiest you had ever been. He saw you, in every outfit and every mood and every way, and he loved you just as you were. 

But there was something you didn’t expect, the amount of attention that would come with dating a professional football player. It was a whole new demon in itself. 

- 

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

'Cause you got tired of my scheming

(For the last time)

- 

Lunches with your mother were the worst, and yet you loved her more than anything. Today she chose an extremely fancy restaurant dressed in a Valentino outfit and her makeup to perfection as she cut her salad up with her fork and knife. 

“Oh this is dreadful.” She sighs, shaking her head. “There is barely any chicken in here. This is insane. Do you see chicken?”

“There is chicken.” Roy shrugs, narrowing his eyes a bit. Lunches with them were always such a weird dynamic considering they were exact opposites. Your mother looked for drama, she thrived off of arguing. Roy chose brutal honesty, he worked best on shutting arguments down before they could even start.  “It’s right there.”

“Oh, baby that is a terrible color on you.” She huffs, sitting the plate back down and turning her glare on you as her hand raises to call the server over. “It washes you out. What have I told you about-”

“She looks fucking stunning today.” Roy scoffs, blinking slowly. 

“It’s fine.” You whisper to him, trying to defuse the situation. 

“No, it’s not.”

“Now I read somewhere that there is a big fundraiser gala coming up, it was in the paper. I assume you both will be attending.” Your mother begins, smiling when the server starts heading over. “You should let me dress you darling. I know how you get anxious about that all and I want to make sure you look your best.”

“She’ll look bloody fantastic in anything-”

“Oh you finally decided to serve your table.” Your mother interrupts him, talking to the server and completely disregarding your boyfriend. 

He takes a moment to lean over to you, catching your eyes. “I’m about to stab my fork into my fucking eye.”

“I know.” You smile, leaning in closer to kiss his cheek which makes him growl a bit at the pda but you see the smile he fights off anyways. “We’ll be gone soon.”

“You look great and the dress you pick will be fantastic. Don’t listen to her.” He gruffs out. 

“Have you seen those posts of you two? They were commenting on your age difference and I just want you to know that I do not think you are too immature for him. Truthfully honey I am proud, I never thought you’d make it with someone so accomplished. I mean it’s not like you had many prospects.” She laughs as the server sends Roy a wide eyed look while taking her plate away leaving the table once more. 

“That’s it.” Roy snaps, slamming his silverware down on the table and pointing his finger at her. “You watch how you speak to her. She’s perfect. And she will be a bombshell at the gala.”

Your mothers face flushes, blinking at him slowly as Roy goes back to his meal like nothing happened while you fight off a smile, your foot rubbing his calf under the table in a silent thank you before you try to pull it back only for his legs to slam shut keeping your foot held there. 

He sends you a sharp look, but the corner of his mouth curves up and you know that was his way of showing his love so you take it, smiling right back at him. 

- 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

At tea time, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 

The dress you chose for the gala was perfect, you were excited to wear it and truthfully you were excited about the whole thing. This would be the first event you had ever attended with the Richmond team in the public eye, and you wanted to make a good impression. 

But your mothers words from the years rang through your head constantly as you waited for their practice to end, leaning against the wall in the hallway as you thought about everything. 

“Oh! Hello.” A angelic voice rings out, pulling your attention to Rebecca Welton coming down the hallway, making you stand up quickly. 

“Ms. Welton! Hi, hello, hey…. I’m saying hi in too many ways.” You blush, moving to shake her hand. “It’s great to see you again.”

“I was just about to say the same thing. Are you waiting for the boys?”

“I am, yeah. My car is in the shop so I need a ride.” 

“Oh lovely, will I be seeing you at the gala? I have been planning it for weeks, my ex husband used to plan it. The wanker.”

“I’ll be there. I just hope I dress well enough.” You laugh slightly, but her eyebrow raises and you panic slightly. Did everyone on this team just see right through all your shit? 

“You’ll look perfect. I wish I still had a figure like yours.”

“ANGEL!” Someone calls out before you are lifted into the arms of Danny Rojas, kissing the side of your face as he swings you around. 

“Alright. Set her down, will ya?” Roy snaps, coming around the corner and rubbing his knee as Danny sets you down quickly, kissing your cheek one more time before heading away. You lean forward and rub Roy’s knee right where you know he feels the most pain. 

“Is it hurting a lot?” You mumble, as he pulls your hand away. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”

“No, I just don’t want to moan in the middle of this hallway. Let’s go home?” Before you can even answer he is grabbing your bag and moving to take you to the car. 

- 

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

And I'm a monster on the hill

Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

- 

Roy was in a shit mood the day of the gala, slamming cupboard after cupboard. You knew he was irritated about having to dress up and see the reporters that used to write about him all the time, and you knew in moments like this it was best to let him work through it. But sometimes you just couldn’t stay away. 

Shuffling closer, in his shirt, you wrap your arms around his center and shove your face into his back. He huffs out as he keeps swiping  the sponge against the counter, but he doesn’t push you away so you take a chance and kiss between his shoulder blades. “It’s going to be okay. What they say about you doesn’t matter.”

He sighs out, letting go of the sponge before turning around in your arms and wrapping his own around you, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

“You were young and they were assholes for that…. So fuck them.”

“Fuck them.” He repeats. 

“You’re going to walk by them in your fine ass suit with your fine ass body-”

“Please don’t objectify me.” He mumbles, but a smile is already on his lips as he leans down to kiss you deeply before pulling back. “And I will have the brightest fucking gem with me tonight.”

“Oh, c’mon.” You blush, trying to pull back but his arms are tight around you. 

“I think we need to fuck.” He huffs kisses at your face again. 

“Don’t be so crass!” You laugh, trying to escape him and shuffling you both to the bedroom right as your phone rings. “It’s my mother.”

“No. Don’t answer.”

“I have to, or she’s gonna be mad.” You answer back, watching his face turn dead serious as he looks at you. His hands come up to rub at your jaw. 

“You listen to me you little rat.” He mumbles, you fighting back a laugh at the nickname. “Don’t listen to a word she says, because you are beautiful.”

“I won’t. I promise.” You promise, kissing his lips deeply and losing yourself to the kiss for a moment before he pulls back and shuffles to continue cleaning the counter. You swipe your thumb across the screen and mumble out a “Hello mother.”

“Oh you’re there! I thought you were about to ignore my call.” She snaps through the phone. 

- 

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism

Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

And life will lose all its meaning

(For the last time)

- 

You broke your promise, and you let your mother get the best of you. 

Her words from earlier bounce around your mind as you get ready. You debate whether or not your hair looked healthy as you spray hairspray across it. Did it look greasy? Untamed? Could they see your split ends?

Was your nail polish the wrong color? Was there a patch of hair on your legs that you missed? Did the dress color wash you out? Did you look too heavy? Was it too late to cancel?

“You look…. “ Roy blinks, coming up behind you to help zip the dress. “Fuck.”

“Is that good?” You ask, biting at your lip as he leans to kiss the nape of your neck. 

“Good? You look bloody amazing.” He snaps, kissing your neck one more time before standing straight. “Now let’s go make money.”

“What are we fundraising for? I never looked into it?”

“I have no fucking clue.” 

“Right.” You laugh, turning with your hand in his as he kisses your knuckles softly. “Then let’s go make money for whatever needs money.” 

“Make a fortune.”

- 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At tea time, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 

Your lip was worn down from the amount you had been biting it. 

Walking up to the gala you saw a red carpet with dozens of flashing cameras and begin to panic as you get closer, your hand tightening in Roys as he stands straighter. You would not be able to handle the cameras and see your picture all over the internet. What would people say? They would trash you, oh how bad would it be?

But Roy, ever the perfect man, simply held your hand tight and walked across the red carpet with a confidence that made your skin hot. He muttered to each that called his name, his voice deep and uncaring. “No. No. Fuck you. Fuck off. Fuck no.”

A smile blooming across your face as you let him lead you into the building where everyone is walking about with drinks in their hand. 

“I’m going to go get us drinks. Your usual?” He asks, waiting for your nod before heading in the direction of the bar leaving you standing there to take a look around. 

You took your chance to look around at everyone around you, smiling at anyone you make eye contact with. The anxieties began rising, as every gorgeous female passed you in their perfect dresses. Was your dress cheap looking? Did you look pathetic?

You were caught up in your thoughts as Jamie approached with his date, a model that introduces herself with a hug that makes you sniff caramel, leaving you with a crater in your chest as you look at her perfection. Jamie talks about the gala, looking around at everyone as a flash makes you blink, all three of you turning to the person that just took your picture. 

“The actual fuck?” Jamie scoffs, staring at him. “We were having a conversation, ye?”

“Sorry.” The man nods, moving to walk off and bumping into Nate with another apology. “Didn’t see you.”

“Hi Nate.” You smile, trying to seem calm when he walks up. “You look great.”

“Thank you! Mr. Lasso actually bought me this suit.”

“Who?” You blink, trying to see who he had been talking about. It wasn’t meant to be a snappy or snide comment, you had yet to be introduced to the new coach and the name didn’t ring a bell at first. But the second you saw the man with the mustache owning the crowd not far off you knew who Nate was talking about. 

But when you turn back to Nate you see a glare set on his features, his cheeks a little red as he blatantly looks away from you. “You look great, Jamie. You as well Keeley.”

Then he walks off, bumping into you harshly as he passes which makes the blonde look at you with wide eyes as Jamie excuses himself for another drink. 

“Oh, that was extremely rude of me. I shouldn’t have asked about the coach- that was-”

“What are you talking about?” She blinks, looking extremely confused. “You didn’t do anything wrong?”

“Here you are.” Roy grunts, handing you the chilled glass. “Keeley.”

“Hello Roy.” She smiles before Jamie whistles to pull her over. 

“Did he just call her like she was a dog?” You ask Roy as she walks over, and he shrugs. 

“He’s a wanker. Always has been and always will be.” Roy grunts out, rolling his eyes. “He doesn’t ever pass the ball. And he is a massive tool. You should hear some of the things he says to-” He begins to explain as you try to smooth out your dress before his hand shoots out to stop you. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Your answer was too quick, his eyes narrow and he catches it. 

“What happened?”

“I just…. I think I upset Nate because I asked to Lasso was and I didn’t mean to and everyone here looks amazing. But I’m fine. Everything is fine.” 

“Did that little fuck say something?”

“No. It’s fine Roy. Everything is fine.” You smile, leaning forward to kiss his lips which he allows before moving back and holding his hand knowing he doesn’t like pda.  “Let’s go find our seats?”

- 

I have this dream my daughter in-law kills me for the money

She thinks I left them in the will

The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out

"She's laughing up at us from hell"

- 

“Hello Roy, you handsome devil you.” A southern voice rings out, walking up to where you and Roy were seated together. “And what pairs so well with a handsome devil? An angel.”

“The devil is technically… well historically the devil is an angel.” You blush, immediately feeling stupid as the fun fact slips from your lips. “Well, I mean- I’m sorry that was stupid.”

“Stupid? Absolutely not. I feel ashamed that I didn’t know it.” He laughs, leaning to shake your hand. “My name is Ted, all my friends call me Ted which means you must.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you. Roy was telling me about all the new techniques at your practices.” You smile, making your boyfriend shake his head. 

“I said nothing good.” Roy huffs.  

“He said everything good.” You smile which makes Ted smile back. 

“You both look fantastic. Have a drink on me, since it’s an open bar.” Ted jokes, moving to walk away as Roy places his hand on your lower back. 

“Why the fuck would you tell him that I said good things?” He huffs and your stomach drops. 

“I’m sorry. It was just teasing and you do always say great things about him so-”

“Take it easy. You are fine.” He shakes his head. “Are you okay?”

You hadn’t noticed but your fists had clenched and your nails were digging into your skin, his own fingers were quick to make you release the hold and rub his thumb over the crescent marks left on your skin before bringing your hand up to kiss your palm. 

“I thought you hated pda.” You whisper, leaning so your foreheads were pressed together as he pretended to roll his eyes. 

“Fuck it. I have a gorgeous date and I deserve to kiss her in public.” 

“Are you sure? It’s a big move for you.”

“Have you seen yourself? Prettier than the goddess aphrodite.” He smiles and your eyes widen. 

“How. Dare. You! What have you done? I’m going to have to marry my dad now. Roy, how could you have done this to me?” You laugh, shaking your head. “I also cannot believe you remember that from almost a year ago.”

“Of course I remember.” He blinks. “That was the first conversation I had with the love of my life. Who would forget that?”

“Oh knock it off.” You mumble, shaking your head. 

“Knock it off? Knock what off?” He snaps. “Do you realize how fucking lucky I was that day? The day you looked at me? My life was made. The second best day of my life.”

“Second?”

“Second. My niece’s birth is the first.” 

“I’m fucking honored.” You laugh, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Did you just cuss?”

“I did. I’m sorry. My mother would kill me.” You blush. 

“Can I be honest with you for a second?”

“When are you not?”

“Fuck your mother.” He blurts, which makes your eyes widen. “I hate her. I think she is miserable and you are far fucking prettier than aphrodite and you don’t have to worry about the goddess making you marry your dad because I will be marrying you. No goddess or god could keep me from you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re stuck with me. And I need you to stop being to fucking mean to yourself. You hear me?” He asks seriously. “Because that’s the love of my life you are talking about.” 

“I can try.” 

“Good. Now lets get another round and wait this fucking gala out. Then lets go get actual food because I know you skipped lunch.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You smile before a flash blinds you once more, making you both whirl to the man with the camera. 

“You fucker-” Roy begins to stand as he dashes off. 

- 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees

- 

You both end up at a late night potato stand, sitting on one of their benches as you both laugh at the memory of the auction that had taken place. 

“A fucking grandma bid on me. You know how embarrassing that was?”

“Hey! I bid on you too!” You laugh, body shaking from laughing so hard. “And Keeley!”

“Keeley was pissing that little wanker off.” He huffs, rubbing your thigh gently as you keep his blazer wrapped around you. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”

“Thank you for bringing me. I am sorry I upset Nate-”

“Stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He mumbles, leaning to dig his spoon into your baked potato and take a big mouthful of it. “Fuck. That is good.”

“You say that about anything I get! You always do this!” You laugh, pretending to pull the potato away. 

“You always choose better!”

- 

It's me, hi (hi), I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At tea (tea) time (time), everybody agrees (everybody agrees)

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 

“Fuck!” You wake up to the sound of Roy yelling from the kitchen, rushing to wrap yourself in the sheet left on the bed from last night as your feet pad across the floor to find where he is at. 

You find him sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, glaring at his laptop, until he sees you coming out of the bedroom in just a sheet. 

“Fuck.” Unlike his last curse this one is said with a lusty tone, setting the coffee down as you come closer to the couch and move to sit by him. 

“What’s got you so mad, handsome?”

“They posted a picture of me and they said I’m retired. What fucks.”

“Is it a bad idea? To be retired?” You ask, moving to straddle him before he can pull an attitude. “You would have more time with me. More time to hang out and cuddle and sleep and…. You can finish the rest.” 

“.....Fuck.”

[wondercourse]

y'know what a big pet peeve of mine is?

the phrase "this isn't for you" appended to "pro-/endos dni" on posts about trauma. usually trauma recovery. not necessarily about CDDs (though i'll get into why that's ALSO fucked up in a bit), but just about trauma in general.

i am a big believer in curating your space. i curate mine; i don't like how aggressive syscourse tends to be, so i don't engage in it in the way people may expect me to with my username being "wondercourse" lol. i don't really care what "side" they're on, what matters to me is how they treat others. it is okay for you to set boundaries surrounding your interactions with others, including those you don't want to interact with. i'm not saying you shouldn't do what you need to do to feel comfortable in your space.

but why not leave it at "dni" (this is also about the "fuck off" tag but that's a whole different conversation)? why append "this isn't for you"?

that implies that whatever kind words you said in that post, whatever encouragement you wanted to give, whatever "positive" thing you were trying to do, isn't deserved by the people you don't like.

even if someone who identifies as endogenic is a trauma survivor, "this post isn't for you".

even if they're person with a CDD who happens to "believe in" and/or support people who identify as endogenic, "this post isn't for you".

if you are "wrong" in someone's eyes, "this post isn't for you".

honestly, to me, it minimizes the words. they're not actually for all trauma survivors. they're not for all people with CDDs. they're for the ones that you find palatable. and that's...uncomfortable, to put it as kindly as i can.

and it's so unnecessary. it is not equivalent to just saying "dni". you are NOT the arbiter of what people deserve or don't, especially when it comes to trauma support/solidarity.

and maybe this is just me misinterpreting the phrase! but it just makes me skin crawl. like idk if there's really a way to justify it that would make me go "oh, i get it" because i don't (but i'm open to discussing it). why not treat each other as human beings deserving of respect and healing?

anyway, this has been a long enough post. i'm tired. i don't know if this even bothers anyone else. but it bugs the shit out of me.

oh, i was going to keep this in the tags, but this is something i want people to see: i mostly see this with people who identify with being anti-endo. but if you identify as pro-/endo and you do this "this isn't for you" thing on general positivity/recovery posts, then this is also about you. and if you don't, then it's not lol.

[castiwls]

anti-hero - d.w

Paring; Dean x gn!reader

Synopsis; Dean's nightmares have become a nightly occurrence

Warnings; none

Notes; i think this might be one of my all time favorite songs ever! Also praying we get rep tv announcement tonight!! (also requests are open )

Masterlist

"i wake up screaming from dreaming one day i'll watch as you're leaving ‘cause you got tired of my scheming

Nightmares were a common occurrence for Dean Winchester. Every time he closed his eyes it was as if a collection of his worst moments replayed in his head for his own viewing pleasure. 

Dean had almost completely forgotten what it was like to dream, his nightmares seemed to have chased them away. Even the alcohol no longer kept his personal demons at bay. 

Most nights he found himself waking in cold sweats, his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. Today was no exception. Dean let out a quiet gasp as his eyes shot open his hands subconsciously reaching for the weapon under his pillow. Just as he closed his hand around the knife he felt something touch his chest

“Dean.” You blinked slowly at him from your spot in the bed. You wiped at your eyes before using your arm to prop up your head. “You ok?” Your face twisted in slight concern as he lay quietly beside you. “Dean.” You said placing a hand on his arm. “Talk to me. Please.”

Dean slowly turned his head towards you. He didn’t say anything as he gently took your hand in his and squeezed it. “I’m okay.” He whispered. You frowned and let out a quiet sigh. “Alright.” You lay back down. You knew he wasn't going to talk. It was rare Dean ever did tell you about his ‘dreams’.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” You seethed as you held a cloth over the wound on Dean's leg. He simply scoffed before looking away. “Do you have any idea how stupid that plan was? You ran into a nest of vamps alone! Why didn’t you wait for Sam.” You reached over for a wipe and began to clean the cut as well as you could.

The wound ran down the majority of his leg and seemed deep enough for stitches much to your annoyance. “Are you even gonna say anything?” You stooped momentarily looking up at him from your spot on the floor. “Dean?” Your tone softened as you took notice of his far-off look.

Ever since the other night he’d been acting weird. Dean had taken to quietly staring at walls and drinking himself into a coma at night. You’d also noticed his behaviour change. He was more reckless

Satisfied that the cut was clean and no longer bleeding you took a spot on the bed next to him. “Whats wrong?” 

Dean kept his gaze on the wall infront of him. He took a shaky breath before moving to grab your hand. He squeezed it for a moment before looking down. “You deserve more then this. Then me.” He ran his free hand through his hair before finally looking up to catch your gaze. “I mean whens the last time you had a whole nights sleep, huh?” 

You shook your head. “Dean. I don’t care about your nightmares ok. I care when you close up on me like this and when you go and be reckless.” His thumb began to gently rub your hand as you spoke. “I’m frustrated 'cause I don't like seeing you destroy yourself. Talk to me. Talk to Sam. Hell, I don't care who you talk to just talk to someone please."

He nodded. “You don’t have to deal with these nightmares alone.” You finished.

You sent him a soft smile before wrapping your arms around him. You knew he wouldn’t open up immediately, but as long as he agreed to try, that was all you cared about.

“I’m not going anywhere ok.” Dean tightened his hold on you before pressing a kiss to your head. He wasn’t ready to talk yet but knowing you would stay was enough.

[chin-chilla-7]

I just got finished with a spy x family episode and this came up! What about DBH boys (Connor, Simon, Markus) With a female reader who is just like Yor Forger!

She’s very sweet looking, and nobody would suspect she packs quite a mean punch when protecting someone or herself, and unusually strong!

Hey anon! So sorry about the wait on this. I'll be honest part of it is due to me not knowing anything about spy x family, so I will just be going off the little description you've given in this ask! And it certainly won't stop me from trying.

Each Connor, Simon, and Markus would initially find the reader quite unassuming. To say they underestimate her is not exactly accurate, but they certainly don't expect the strength and punch she packs.

Connor witnessed it during a case. He's in the process of analyzing some evidence at a crime scene when he hears a disturbance. It was an argument, from what he could tell, between you and someone else trying to tamper with the crime scene or simply initiating some aggression because, like Connor, they misjudge exactly how strong you could be. At the sound of raised voices - yours being one of them - Connor is quick to make his way over to the disturbance, intending to intervene if necessary. Though, it quickly becomes apparent that it isn't necessary.

You've knocked the aggressor clean on their ass. One punch to the face was enough to send them falling backwards right on their ass. You probably even broke their nose. Connor, he's... well, to be honest, he's a little surprised. You aren't often in situations such as this one. And while you do work for the DPD, it's not often he sees you demonstrate exactly why you were hired in the first place.

Even though you punched someone to the point of a concussion, Connor can't help but still make sure you're okay. Physically, mentally, whatever, he wants to make sure the encounter didn't shake you up too bad. Even if you've assured you're fine and that he doesn't need to check you over, he's still doing a scan, just to be sure.

This is something he certainly does not forget about you. And while he still worries, given the fact that your appearance is deceiving compared to your actual ability, he's a little more at ease to know that you can hold your own when you need to. He's aware that people will go for those who seem weaker, and while he knows you aren't weak, at a glance, people are quick to think otherwise about you.

---

Simon, while not a coward, does prefer to take the pacifist route at any given opportunity. You're someone who's the same, unless you have absolutely no choice. And that was the case here. You were with Simon, just the two of you. You had excused yourself to the bathroom, and on your way back, you see that someone had approached Simon, and you noticed that Simon was less than comfortable about the interaction. It wasn't until you were a few steps away that you could hear exactly what was going on.

It was some anti-android guy going off - he must have recognized Simon someone. Which, come on, he's not the only PL600 to exist. Whatever, it didn't matter. What mattered was this guy was going off on Simon, and while Simon was trying to defuse the situation, he wasn't getting anywhere successful. Simon was trying to talk the other down, but the guy seemed pissed, which started to piss you off. It didn't help that the guy suddenly grabbed Simon - that's when you knew you had to step in.

"Hey!" Was all you said, which seemed to startle the guy long enough for you to grab his shoulder, turning him so you could swiftly punch him in the gut. He quickly doubled over, falingl to the ground, and Simon stumbled back, staring at the scene in shock. His mouth was agape as he looked between you and the guy, now groaning on the ground. There was even a slight tint of blue on Simon's face at the sight, which you may have noticed if you weren't still upset with the interaction.

"Whoa... I didn't know you had that in you..." Simon said, nearly stepping towards the guy to help him. But he stopped himself, mainly because you held your hand out to stop him.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," you responded, looking over to him and managing a smile. Despite the circumstances, it was cute to see the way Simon reacted to this.

"What, so we just... leave him?"

"Well, he was a prick, soo..."

---

Markus was often used to being the protector. And with you, it was a no brainer that you were someone he felt drawn to protect. And it was cute, and you never had a problem with it. But sometimes even the protector needs a little helping hand. Especially when you've got no problem fighting your own battles.

Being the leader of the android revolution meant that Markus got a lot of attention. And being a close friend of the leader of the android revolution meant you got a lot of attention as well. Both good and bad. This was an instance of the bad. Some name calling, some yelling, asking how you could ever support something like this when all the androids do is take and take and blah blah blah.

Really, you weren't listening. You had grown used to it at this point, it was something you could easily tune out.

Though, it was clear that the people nagging you were not a fan of being ignored. Markus was only a little ways ahead of you, but it was still enough of a distance that he couldn't stop the way they grabbed you to look at them. A small struggle ensued, which caught Markus' attention. He was quick to rush over to you, pulling off one of the two attacking you, but it seemed you had the rest of it under control.

A quick knee between the legs was enough to throw them off their balance, then an elbow to the chest knocked the wind out of them long enough for you to get away. As you escaped their grasp, you kept yourself ready, knees bent, arms up, ready for anything more they had to throw your way. Of course, the kerfuffle was enough to get the attention from onlookers, and the attackers found it best to avoid further humiliation.

With them submitting to defeat, Markus looked to you, first making sure you were okay. Once that was settled, he found himself looking at you with an impressed smile. "Maybe you should be the one protecting me," he joked.

"Maybe," You said, relaxing now that you weren't in danger anymore. "At least I'd know you'd be safer."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

[roz-ani]

One issue I don't quite get and want to briefly comment on is the idea that Alastor has to be either an old-school villain who's just evil for the sake of being evil, or more of an antagonist with actual depth, emotions, and traumatic backstory to explain his actions, letting the audience relate to him. I think we're going to extremes here. We don't have to go, "Oh, I understand why he would do that". The main goal is for us to say, "Oh, so that's his deal".

While we don't know exactly what Alstor's deal is, what the exact terms of his contract are etc., he is, without a doubt, the most complex character in the show. He's in a unique position since he technically helps Charlie achieve her goal, but it's obvious he's in it for selfish reasons, with some grander scheme going on behind the scenes. May he eventually be the one the main cast will have to fight at some point? Sure. Would it be even more fun because he is a part of the said cast? Absolutely.

Let's get one thing straight: Alastor is evil. He's in Hell for a good reason. He's a cannibal and a serial killer. And I know we can absolutely forgive characters for doing the absolute worst, but he is not a good person. And yes, you can like (and simp for) evil characters. (If you think being a fan of intriguing fictional creations makes you a terrible person, you need to get off twitter and tiktok to actually interact with real people.) At the same time, the finale of season 1 simply made it clear that Al does have depth, and that he's going to be a three-dimensional character. Not that his actions are going to be suddenly justified.

But why can't we explore evil characters while enjoying them and letting them be evil? We can. Alastor started his carnage in Hell before making his deal, so it's not the main reason behind his less-than-questionable actions. For now, he's looking for freedom so he can (re)gain power and be in control again. At the same time, he is growing attached to the other characters. I highly doubt he'll be redeemed; we'll just learn more about him, his backstory, and his goals.

Can you even call Al an antagonist? If you ask me, he's more of an anti-hero. Heck, do we know who he is? Not really, and that's the point. He's one of the main characters, but he makes himself separate in both the story and the writing. He's a wild card.

We don't know what's coming for the Radio Demon in season 2. The first one established that there's more to him and that he started growing fond of the other characters, while the finale made Al realise it almost got him killed. He was humiliated and it reminded him even more that he's still under someone else's control. At least, that's how I see it. Alastor may become more sinister as the story progresses, and as he's getting more and more desperate to free himself of the contract. AT THE SAME TIME, he did come back to the Hotel with a smile and consent for a group hug, so it's not like he's going to blow it up in the first episode. He's not against the Hotel itself. He's doing his own thing, knowing that the titular establishment is an inherent part of his story. All paths lead to the Hazbin Hotel. My guess is that he will simply become more active.

Alastor is already a three-dimensional character; there is no doubt about that. But it's not like he's getting reckoned here. I don't really understand where this notion of our Radio Demon being an old-school villain came from in the first place. He's always been a mystery. Okay, maybe in the pilot it was not so clear-cut, and I'll admit, it would be fun to just see the Radio Demon as a powerful entity overlooking the hotel for his own pleasure. Turning him into a villain later on? Meh, depends on what would happen in the story if that were the case. Watching Jack Horner in "Puss in Boots", reminded me how much I missed villains that were not an initial antagonist's evil-incarnate-superior. However, it was quite quickly established that there is more to Alastor. He would have to appear pretty rarely to not go through any character arc in a show with such an ambitious storyline as Hazbin Hotel (and what a delightful character would we lose if that was the direction the writing team would have taken?). I would mention the pacing actually harming that development, but it's clear this is the show's biggest problem, and we just have to take things for granted.

If anything, Alastor is being restrained from being purely evil. To me, he's a combination of both of the character types I mentioned at the beginning, leaning more toward the well-developed anti-hero. Just let evil characters be evil and three-dimensional. 

[tinystepsforward]

i've still been keeping tabs on what's happening at automattic. a couple of things i've observed:

toni schneider (who is a man btw), the interim ceo, has been quite open with staff in ways that mean they generally seem relieved to have him leading the company for now. i've heard people speak optimistically about him from all parts of the spectrum (by which i mean: staff who are trans tumblr users right through to staff who are "anti-woke" or whatever and were absolutely intolerable to work with as a trans person), which seems like... a good sign? maybe.

this relative transparency includes things like weekly updates from an executive level, as well as openly saying that he did have to directly speak to matt and encourage him to, you know, stop posting.

matt is back to his usual milquetoast blogging, and replied to someone on mastodon about the AI issue saying he'd comment on it when he's back in may, so whatever toni said to him seems to have worked for him keeping out of it for now.

people have no idea what it's gonna look like when matt's back.

the best case scenario is that schneider manages to create a significant enough boost in morale and productivity that "it'd be nice if we just kept him" becomes a sentiment that isn't held just by the rank and file. i don't know how likely that is, but there's a sense of cautious hope and of making the most of this reprieve from matt's increasingly erratic decisions no matter what.

the tumblr staff statement was approved by schneider and hr, so i am also hopeful they won't face repercussions. what they said might seem pretty mild from the outside, or carefully worded, but it's pretty clear to me and to most people who've worked at companies like this that it's a pretty bold one.

i'll quote a friend:

keep reminding the more histrionic elements out there that: 1. there really are trans people, INCLUDING TRANS WOMEN, in the fight here. 2. we don't have nearly the power they seem to think we do. 3. we're fighting anyway. was the statement we wrote enough? fuck no. does it fix everything? fuck no. but we literally called out the CEO, and got the greenlight for it from the interim CEO. i don't know where this will end, but that's not nothing.

i'm not sure automattic deserves the immense honor of having this many of its brave, dedicated trans staff put effort into trying to make it better. but it has them, and it would be wise to do its best to keep them. so many of us — even me, even now — believe in the ideals that drew us to the work automattic does, and hope that it can return to them. we will see!

other things i want to say:

the wellbeing of my friends on staff is my priority. i am interested primarily in their safety, and won't pressure them to give me goss. the ways i've spoken publicly are already pretty scary to people who might worry about retaliation against them just for being known to be my friend.

this is a regular personal blog. i'll keep updating if there's shit to update about, but i also don't work at automattic any more (thank fuck, again), have a life, and am not interested in declaring matt my specific nemesis or otherwise acting purely out of spite.

some of youse really deeply do not understand companies, the internet, generative ai, or pretty much anything else i've said. that's okay — big tech in particular is fucked up on purpose bc it benefits those in power to have it be incomprehensible! but maybe it's not a great position from which to get mad at me specifically or at staff for idk not personally assassinating matt.

got tired of blocking transphobes so i've turned anons off. i'll probably flick them back on eventually.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

You are aware that Ace and Sabo are brothers. That ship is incest. It would be best if you took it down because of how problematic that is

Warning, this turned into a rant

They are adopted/sworn brothers, so the ship is not technically incest.

If that ship bothers you, several One Piece ships should bother you in between adopted brothers or sworn brothers, but I have seen zero complaints. This includes Buggy/Shanks, those two were raised as brothers as far as we know, and Marco/Ace, who became sworn brothers. Remember, Ace joined The Whitebeard Pirates, AKA the Sons of Whitebeard. They all are sworn brothers. So let's please be coherent in your hypocrisy

Isn't this Tumblr? I can't be that old because I remember the heyday of Superwholock. The two most popular Supernatural ships were Destiel and WinCest. Remember, they were so popular that the Supernatural show even addressed this in its meta episodes. What the hell happened? And I remember the Ouran High School Host Club speech where the twins said the whole appeal behind them is when you have two attractive guys who struggle between their attraction and their friendship. Plus, because they're twins, it makes their relationship taboo so even more intriguing. So they were hyper-aware of what they were doing with their whole queerbating/twincest thing, and Tumblr ate that crap up.

It's one of those things where it's fiction, so it's not real, so it's okay because no actual person is being harmed by whatever problematic content is portrayed in whatever fictional media. I personally have zero problems with the most problematic content. But that doesn't include all problematic content. I do have lines when it comes to child characters and lollies. That's why there are rules on my blog. But I can also separate fantasy from reality, and if you can't, you probably need to talk to someone about that because that's a problem.

Again, seriously, what the hell happened to the fandom culture on Tumblr? Why are the moral purity police everywhere? I joined fandoms and Tumblr to escape the oppressive Bible thumpers that I grew up around. Why am I now encountering more oppressive moral policing online from fandom idiots than I do from the Church Karens in real life? I live in the conservative Bible Belt. Those Church Karens are everywhere and in everyone's business

Sorry for my rant. I am tired, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened. I've been on Tumblr on and off since 2010, and I feel like I hardly recognize this community anymore. Now, I have been made aware of the anti-shippers/ anti-fandom movement, and I know it's not just a minor thing because this is something I have found multiple academic research papers on. I'll link a good one. But I pray it's something else cuz these are just kids who don't know better at the moment. I hope one day they will realize this behavior is the equivalent of the Boomers blaming all of the Gen Z and Millennial behaviors. They don't like on violent video games. Again, sorry for the rant

[xclowniex]

I know I shouldn't expect any different from tik tok but the absolute whiplash I've experienced multiple times from the suggested search feature at the bottom of a video i initially scrolled past then had to scroll back up to see who has the zionist claim recently is wild.

Like there will just be "insert celebrity/influence israel/zionist" as the suggested search.

And I'll do a little research, and 9/10 the person in question either is A) Jewish and hasn't spoken out about the conflict or B) Goyiche celeb but has visited Israel once years ago to visit some non Jewish temple which is important to their religion, and also hasn't spoken out about the conflict

And the videos when you tap the suggested search too, never explains why said celeb is a zionist too, it's just people repeating it, and I have to do, not a deep dive, but also not a quick Google search either to find out why they have said claims.

And it begs an interesting question when it comes to goyim visiting for non Jewish religious purposes. Why does that mean a person is a zionist?

Is it simply because visiting the country point blank at any point makes you a zionist, even if you disagree with the government and its actions and are going not because it's Israel, but because of a temple that is important to your faith?

Do these people really expect people to just avoid partaking in their religion just because a temple happened to be in the "wrong country"?

There is definitely a limit to religious freedom. Your religious freedom ends when someone else's rights begin, eg harming people, even if your religion says its okay is wrong. However visiting Israel does not at all inherently harm Palestinians. You don't see the masses claiming that by visiting China you are supporting the CCP and enabling them. A news account on tik tok, Dylan Page, made a video about North Korea opening its borders for tourists in December, and about wanting to go himself. There were no comments claiming he must support Kim Jong Un and his oppressive regime.

And it just all feels like some weird anti religion bigotry, as it is mainly atheist spreading this rhetoric

[mono-dot-jpeg]

tank moment - mauga

summary; title slightly irrelevant, i wanted to be funny. iykyk

genre/extra tags; headcanons/bullet fic, i talk about mauga hcs i thought of on the fly, reader is implied to be a support character, reader is also part of talon group, fluff, i only know the bare minimum about him and that's all i need baby, is this platonic or romantic idk

[gender neutral reader] [canon typical violence mentioned]

a/n; im back on my overwatch era. it never really ended but, i want to write about him, mauga, the beloved. typing this on my phone and finishing on my computer if anything seems wonky shhh dont tell me i'll relive that mistake for days

also this is a somewhat lightly reseached- aka not fully accurate/detailed work. i briefly mention samoan culture and if it offends or if it's a mistake, please tell me and i will erase those parts asap.

[support me and buy a kofi]

🗣 ALRIGHT SO ‼️

i've been watching and playing with/against mauga since the trial to play him came out and god i love him

but he's kind of easy to counter (im an ana main, nade is fucking broken but that's just anti heal things) and his ult is annoying

anyways

every tank needs their heal bot to keep em up

you just happen to be mauga's heal bot KDJSJSJ

(baptiste is too probably but not really)

he's a really smug guy

no one really knows that bc he sounds so upbeat and nice

but he loves to tease you, poke at you bc he knows that you will answer to him most of the time and entertain him in conversation

you and him are probably in your world even when you're both in talon tbh

he does his own thing and you just happen to join in

(he totally baits you to join his plans and you both know it)

he's a chaotic and cunning man and you're his enabler

(sounds like me and my bestie tbh)

"a hero would sacrifice you to save the world but a villain would sacrifice the world to save you" type beat

he's lowkey possessive but we dont talk about that

jk we do talk abt it

he's your scary guard dog privileges

like that man is tall tall ‼️‼️

idk why but i dont really imagine him being like an openly sweet person

he keeps it private even with how loud he is

anyways

you know how he's on a yacht for his origin story and there's like a bunch of people who got destroyed by him?

yeah he would totally do that shit for u if you asked.

he would give you the best home but

"thanks for the new place and all but did you have to kill someone for it?"

"i mean come on! this place is nice! let's enjoy it!"

he's very "i'll do the dirty work, just sit back and look pretty." and then you're like, "yeah i could. but i won't."

dps support vibes for you ✨️

but also he's charging in most of the time so, there's not much time to dps support KDHDJDJJD

he's like the kool aid man bursting in through the walls /j

cough

back to the hcs here...

he's so tall and big, he would totally let you hang off his back like nunu and wilump (from league, yeah i play league dont remind me totally gonna write for heartsteel soon tm)

also he's literally the greatest heated blanket (ahead of roadhog)

he's so stronk and wowowowow im so gay i love him

when you're surrounded by some enemies, he's charging in, slamming the ground and carrying you with ease as he keeps you safe while destroying any enemies who even tried to touch you

ugh

despite his lack of pda, he's a very actions over words.

he's so silly

chivalry isn't dead when he breaks into a jewelry store for u 😍😍

if you ever have those crazy thoughts about crime, he's totally gonna enable you and let you reign havoc on god knows what.

love language is actions and gift giving. enough said.

when he gives you a hug, he's so fucking warm omg

i said it before and i'll say it again, he's the best heated blanket, literal furnace

bad for the people who sweat easily though (ahem me lowkey)

one the off-days where it's just a day off and relaxing, he's taking care of you well !!

when you're on talon missions, since he can't run around as easily unless he gets the okay but you do keep him company until then

he likes to protect but he loves destroying people

he knows you're able to care for yourself, so he can go crazy whenever, and he loves that.

he also loves watching you get mad or angrily passionate

"yes go, la'u ma’asoama!" (my rock/stone, get it? bc his name means mountain)

he is a really good hype man. even if you're the one in the wrong.

god I WISH I LOOKED UP MORE ABOUT HIM ARGBHYKFJ

soon (tm)

someday i'll write more.

[matan4il]

Watched Eurovision last weekend and tried to only pay attention to the music but oof, the Israel derangement was horrid. Were any of the other contestants nice to Eden or at the very least not total assholes to her because where's she's from? Please tell me someone was decent or even mildly professional.

Hi Nonnie!

I'm glad to tell you that there WERE people who were personally decent to Eden and the Israeli team, from what I've heard.

One of the parts that suck is that it feels like talking about it too loudly might bring those people into the line of fire. I can say that about myself, that while I was treated awfully by some people in fandom, I've had people be absolutely wonderful to me, and I've had to keep my mouth shut and not thank or celebrate them publicly, because that would have drawn the fire to them. They absolutely do not deserve that. And it sucks that I can't even be openly grateful. Same with the people friendlier to Eden, we Israelis have heard stuff, so we know of them and are thankful, but I don't think anyone has said anything too public, because no one wants to endanger them.

Still, I hope it's been long enough since the final, that we can safely share a few things. Also, I'll emphasize that most of this is hearsay, I can't verify any of it, because it wasn't published officially, this is just the stuff we hear.

The Israeli singer who grew up in and was representing Luxembourg was really lovely with Eden. Tali could have easily avoided ANY association with Eden, so I give her credit for not doing that. The German singer was the nicest to the Eden and Israeli delegation, and I also heard that Germany actually stood up for Israel when the EBU wanted to disqualify it, rightly pointing out the differences between this situation and Russia's ban. I heard good things about the Austrian singer as well, the Latvian, and the Georgian singer. There's probably more that aren't popping into my mind right now, but this is a start, and it's nice knowing kind people, who won't bully a 20 years old singer just because of her nationality, do exist, right?

Another part that sucks is that even some of the people who were nice backstage to Eden, were only willing to do so away from the public eye. I think the most extreme one is the 2023 runner up, Finnish performer Käärijä. He ran into Eden backstage and was totally cool with them doing a short, quick rendition of his ESC song together (which you can see in the link below). It was clearly just two people who love music having fun together, but once the vid was posted online, people started attacking him for supporting genocide (because that's not a leap of logic at all), and he quickly put out a message denouncing everything he's said and done ever, including being born. Then he just had to reassure all of his bullies that he's "okay" even further. The Norwegian 2023 singer who was supposed to deliver her country's jury results had already announced she won't as an anti-Israel measure, so when he was supposed to give the Finnish jury vote, he simply announced he won't, letting people make the connection, and figure out for themselves that it was an anti-Israel move.

Still I think you can take the ones who weren't loudly nasty to Eden, and assume most were nice enough to her privately, even if not publicly. To figure out who those probably were, on top of the ones I mentioned above, I'll just give a short rundown of the performers who were being awful about Israel to different degrees (so you can figure out who was at least decent by way of elimination): Ireland, Belgium, Switzerland, the UK, the Netherlands, Greece, Portugal, Lithuania, Norway, Finland, Slovenia, San Marino, Denmark.

I hope I helped... Have a good day! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[lovemyromance]

I knowww the Anti-Elriels are just shaking in their boots and talking outta there ass trying to discredit Elriel because imagine if they had ANY Elriel scene - but it was with Gwyn instead of Azriel:

*clears throat**cracks hands*

Gwyn's real eyes brightened with an emotion that was too raw to place. She opened her mouth, her voice hoarse as she whispered, "You came for me." The Shadowsinger only inclined his head.

Azriel, graceful as any courtier, offered Gwyn an arm. I couldn't tell if she was looking at his siphon or his scarred skin beneath as she whispered, "Beautiful".

Color bloomed high on Azriel's golden-brown cheeks.

And what Koschei might do to Gwyn - might already be doing- from the shadows, as if in an answer to an unspoken debate, Azriel said "I'm getting her back.

Nesta said, "Then you will die."

Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, "I'm getting her back." ...

Azriel was still cradling Gwyn to his chest. He dripped blood behind him the entire time...

Nesta let out a sob at the sight of Gwyn, still in Azriel's arms.

Azriel swayed on his feet, "We need to get these chains off her." Yet Gwyn didn't seem to notice as she rose up on her toes and kissed the shadowsinger's cheek.

I think Gwyn had even Azriel beat for secret keeping.

Nesta started, not having heard Gwyn approach. She scanned Gwyn from head to toe, wondering if she'd been taking lessons from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

Bonus: Potato steam equivalent!

Gwyn had been about to put away her equipment after training to sit down with Nesta & Cassian for a meal in the dining room. She noticed someone standing by the edge of the table. A moment later, Gwyn said to Azriel, "Hello." Az said nothing. No, he just moved toward her.

Azriel only took Gwyn's heavy equipment from her hands. "Sit, I'll take care of it."

Gwyn's bracelet glinted a bright cobalt in the light, as though it were one of Azriel's siphons.

Okay; I know I started this as a joke but I was just reading over the Elriel rescue scene - and compared to the actual scene where Nesta/Gwyn/Emerie get taken for the blood rite ... the difference is JARRING.

Even the line about how "unspeakable things" could be happening to them is the same between these two scenes. But the difference is Azriel immediately goes to save Elain himself. Doesn't wait for anyone. But with Gwyn, all he says is "You-we-trained them well Cassian."

When you put them side by side - it's literally so obvious. Anyone who says otherwise is just straight up gaslighting themselves at this point, idc.

[mrs-monaghan]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrs-monaghan/726485076049821696/see?source=share

Thank you for calming some of my fears about this. This is stressing me out so much 😖

Do you have anything Jikook to share? It doesn't have to be about this, I just need some comfort right now.

This is really not something to bother you leave alone stress you? Antis annoy me yeah, but I never let them get to me. Ever. I refuse to let ANYONE affect my BTS experience. Leave alone my Jikook experience. I know what I know, have seen what I've seen, and it will take Jikook themselves to make me stop believing they're a couple. Not some rats on the Internet waiting to shit on Jikook any chance they get.

🙅🏽‍♀️

Of course there will always be Jikook moments to talk about. I'll throw some random shit at you. How's that? 😆😆

Random shit No.1 -> I made a post here about JK's type and Jimin's lips keep popping up on every sm recently so they've been on my mind. Which is y I remembered a tiny thing from Bon Voyage season 1 ep 1. Keeping in mind Jin and Jimin are the 2 members with full lips (and RM some but not as much as Jinmin) it would make perfect sense that they are the 2 JK would zoom in on when interviewing them

Thanks editors for the caption. 😜

Random shit No.2 -> Remember this post I made about Jikook living together, remember how I said it was weird Jimin was the only one who didn't have anywhere to live? Well recently this Karmy was talking about how hard it was for Jimin to leave his dorm life since he loves being around BTS sm

Then this Kjikooker chimmed in on how JK bought Jimin an apartment to make him feel better 🥺🥺🥺

So guess the theory is that JK is the one who bought Nine-one for them seeing as they were both living there. I mean if anyone should know its fans who live there, right?

When u really think about it, it all comes together because JK moving into Brunnen... a house owned by the company with furniture from the old dorm...proving just how temporary that place is...which again makes sense coz of the house he's building in Itaewon.....

While we are on topic, there is a moment missing on my living together post but we all know it very well.

If you pay close attention to Jimin you will notice him subtly lifting his eyebrow. Its so subtle that idek how people noticed. JK looks at Jimin while members are laughing at him and Jimin does that. 🤭 So yeah, that coupled up with the fact that they were all making fan of JK and his mattresses but Jimin who under normal circumstances would be part of the discussion was quiet as a church mouse. That was incredibly sus.

Random shit number 3-> is a tiny BV analysis coz we know how much i love those. Okay so JK climbs up a steep hill without cameras at the crack of dawn to get his baby some snow. We know all about that. So tkkrs the morons that they are, tried to claim this moment for themselves because JK showed the snow to V first and offered him to touch if he wanted to. But, aside from JK waiting for Jimin to come out, apart from him jumping up eagerly to show Jimin the snow, apart from him watching Jimin's face to see his reaction when he handed him said snow, and apart from editors saying point blank that JK got a gift for Jimin, we also have this;

Season 4 episode 3. Members play RPS and losers have to climb the hill and bring back snow.

Someone i dont remember who, says that the snow will melt

But JK who's a professional of bringing snow from mountains by now, chims in

He already knows its not gonna melt since he did it before. Now he says that and then looks at Jimin and keeps looking at him

Doesn't once break eye contact. This here makes it perfectly clear that he got the snow for Jimin and no one else. JK stares at his boyfriend for so long that Jimin has to look away/looks down 😂😂

And JK still looking at him 🤭🤭 This dude just makes me so happy to watch Jikookery stg 🤣🤣 what does he want from Jimin?

Random shit No.4 -> while we are talking about BV there is something that happens i had to take note of. Yoonmin are the ones who lost and had to go up the hill to get the snow. When the rest got back to the cabin, Jhope was making people this magic toast with his secret recipe. This shit was so funny y'all should be able to remember it. He was so proud of it 🤣🤣 Anyway, when Yoonmin got back, Jhope asked Jimin if he wanted his special toast.

But here comes the kicker. Jhope uses JK to convince Jimin to have the toast.

This, ladies and gentlemen are the reflexes i was talking about. It's not just Jikook keeping the secret that they are dating. It's the members too. And sometimes they will slip. Our president being the main culprit. 🤭🤭🤭 what does it matter that JK liked the toast? Suga and Jin had the toast too. Why is JK the member he uses to appeal to Jimin?

Random shit No.5 -> Is just this edit I like of Jimin having JK on a leash 😏😏

Random shit No.6 -> Is this photo of JK looking at Jimin.

That man is gone. His mind was elsewhere right then. Jeon Jungkook is a man in fucking love y'all. 😭😭😭😭

What's that? Different angle you say? Sure fam, I got you.

Random shit No.7 -> BH saying fuck you to the haters.

Random shit number 8 -> Jikook in Tokyo. The gift that keeps on giving. Here is a fan recounting

Here is that one time members were asked:

One more time from Jikook 🤗🤗

He he hee... and we have heard them call eo that many, many times.

Random shit No.9 -> NBD just sassy bfs in the soop

This is mostly for those who think Jimin is the only one who exudes this type of energy. 💅🏽💅🏽

Random shit No.10 -> This post wouldn't be complete without us going to the bedroom. 😏 Anygays, here is how Jikook look like when they're shouting in each other's briefcases

That is all... hope u feel better now... have a good one ✌🏽😘

[bellysoupset]

It's @lisupanddown with a MINI fic request - we haven't seen any motion sickness lately, and I'd love a little, loving drabble with sick Leo and caretaker Jon in a situation where they have to travel, and maybe Jon was in charge of bringing the anti-nausea meds and forgot, and feels so guilty about it because they both know Leo's going to get sick and there's no way to avoid it. Would love to see the onset of the nausea - throat bobbing, swallowing, Jonah hovering and trying to do his doctor best to help while cursing himself for forgetting the meds. And Leo both feeling so sick, but also trying to comfort Jonah because hey, mistakes happen (maybe he can start out being annoyed or stressed or prickly, but realizes eventually that that's not helping the situation). Okay, so this is awfully specific and detailed, lol.

Oh my god, Lis, this is noooot little 🙈. But I'll try anyway.

---------------------

"I'm so excited I'm almost vibrating out of my skin," Leo said, as soon as Jonah pulled over in front of his work building. They were all heading down to Doveport, or rather, just outside of it.

Vince, the overtly friendly person he was, had already stricken up a friendship with one of the older teachers, who just so happened to have a cabin by the lake and was more than happy to rent it out for the weekend for a decent fee.

It was just the weekend, so in order to better utilize their time, Jonah and Leo were leaving straight after work on a Friday. It was court day, so Leo didn't even have time to pack, trusting Jon to do it for him.

Besides, it was just two days away, even if he forgot something like extra underwear, it would be fine, right?

Jonah was drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove, completely relaxed, even if he looked pretty tired himself after working all day and with four hours of road ahead of them.

Jon was in the best mood Leo had ever seen him lately, all smiley and soft, probably due to his sister visiting and everything falling into place as his controlling ass had planned. He was overdue a cranky moment, Leo thought with a snort, leaning his head back and planning on napping for his half of the trip as the passenger.

No such thing. The minute they were out of the city and into the open road, Leo felt a pressure between his ears, as if someone was squeezing his head. He let out a sigh, opening his eyes and focusing them on the horizon, immediately recognizing the initial signs of motion sickness.

"We should've carpooled," Leo said, just because their comfortable silence was turning into anything but, given the weird pressure in his head, "there's no reason for all of us to drive separately."

"Wendy left during lunch," Jonah reminded him, unbothered, "and I'm not sharing a car with Luke and Bell, they drive me insane."

"Uhm," Leo rubbed a hand over his face and let out yet another sigh when staring at the sun setting ahead of them didn't help at all, "where did you put the dramamine?"

"Already?" Jonah groaned, "it's in your backpack, backseat, front pocket."

"Already," Leo nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning around to grab the blue backpack. He sat back down on his seat and opened the front zipper, only to frown. Some minty bubblegum, a folded plastic bag, his phone charger... "it's not here."

"Of course it is, search better," Jon rolled his eyes, lowering his window so he could rest an elbow on the windowsil and his head on his hand, yawning, "I brought my fishing gear."

"I didn't even know you had that," Leo mumbled, removing all the contents from the front pocket and glaring at the empty space. No pills. He unzipped the other pockets, now feeling much more urgent as glancing down to search for the meds was making his nausea worse, "it's not here. You didn't pack the freaking meds, Jon."

Jonah frowned, looking away from the road, then switching his hands on the steering whell, so he could shove his right one inside the backpack Leo had already inspected, fully believing his boyfriend had done a poor job of it.

Then he cursed, "oh shit, I'm sorry, Leo- Maybe it's in my bag?"

Leo groaned, covering his face with his hands and rubbing vigoriously as if that was going to help the uncomfortable sloshing in his belly. The thought of his lunch flashed in front of his eyes and Leo swallowed in thickly, turning around once more in order to exchange bags.

It was to no avail, Jonah hadn't brought the meds.

"Fucking hell, Jon," Leo said, grabbing the plastic bag he had iniatially seen and opening it on his lap. He leaned back, breathing through his mouth and rolling down his window, hoping the cool air was going to help some.

"There's a rest stop in one hour," Jonah said in a strained voice, clearly feeling guilty, "I think they have a pharmacy. Can you hold on that long?"

Leo raised a hand and shook it from side to side in order to indicate he wasn't sure. He didn't dare speak, pressing his lips in a thin line as overly sweet saliva started to flood his mouth.

He gulped down, then startled as he felt Jon taking his hand in his, "What-"

"It's a pressure point," the other man answered, keeping his eyes on the road, "maybe it'll help...?"

"Uhm," Leo gulped down when he tried to answer, only to feel his stomach rocket up his throat. He felt cold sweat start to collect over his upper lip, glueing the baby hairs to his nape, "god..."

"Do you want me to pull over?" Jonah sounded every bit as if Leo had told him they'd need to put down the family dog. Leo ignored him, pulling his hand from Jon's hold and grabbing at the plastic bag, bringing it up to his mouth.

Vaguely he could hear his boyfriend saying something else, but Leo ignored him, spitting inside the bag. His mouth felt terrible. He had eaten risotto for lunch and the next weak heave was just spit and some fucking grains that got stuck in his throat and caused him to gag loudly.

The car swerved and Leo groaned, planting a sweaty hand to the dashboard as he felt his head swim. With the bag half open, Leo let out a sick burp, that turned frothy and disgusting at the end-

"Here," Jonah grabbed the other side of the bag since he had let go and moved it up to Leo's mouth, "I got you-"

"Gon'besick," Leo slurred, "pullovr," his words were sticking together, eyes tearing up as yet another wave of hot nausea washed over him, causing his stomach to clench again, "Jon pull over-"

"I did, baby," Jonah's soft hand suddenly was on his forehead, helping Leo support it, and the blonde leaned heavily against the touch, gagging again, "deep breaths, this will pass ina moment."

He forced a breath through his nose, straightening up and dizzily grabbing the door handle, pushing it open.

"Leo, wait-" Jon said, but it was to no avail, as the other man stumbled out of the car and immediately fell down on his knees on the grass, heaving and bringing up a gush of vomit all over the grass.

"God-" Leo whined, coughing to clear up his throat and wiping at the micro tears that had slipped out. His stomach still felt uneasy, but puking had helped some, so had standing on the ground and no longer feeling claustrophobic inside the car. He forced up a burp and it brought up a little dribble of spit and liquidy vomit, then Leo fell back on his heels, startling when his back met Jonah's arms.

"I got you," his boyfriend said, sounding terribly worried and guilty, "you done?"

"Think- think so," Leo interrupted himself with a sour burp and shivered at the taste, "help me up."

Jonah didn't need to be told twice. Now getting a better bearing of their surroundings, Leo could tell his boyfriend was pale as well, how much was sympathy nausea, how much was his nervous stomach Leo didn't know.

"You good?" He rasped, as Jon helped him towards the car. Instead of going inside, Leo collapsed against the hood and happily took the water bottle Jonah retrieved from the backseat.

"If I'm good?" Jon scoffed, stepping aside so Leo could swirl the water in his mouth and spit it on the grass. At least the headlights were not illuminating the mess on the ground just a couple feet ahead, "I'm fucking peachy, you're the one puking."

"I'm okay," Leo rubbed a hand over his stomach, pressing on it and bringing up a little burp that he blew out under his breath, "just give me a minute."

"I'm really sorry," Jonah sighed, stepping closer, "do you wanna lie in the back? Or I can drop you at the nearest gas station, then grab the meds in the rest stop and com-"

"Don't be ridiculous," Leo rolled his eyes, leaning in and planting his forehead to Jon's shoulder, "really, it's just carsickness, it's not like I'm dying. Give me a minute."

Jonah let out a scoff, but hugged him closer, planting a hand on Leo's back and rubbing up and down, "I'm sorry-"

"Please, shut up about it," Leo whined, sinking into Jon's warmth and trying to gather up courage to get back inside the car, "it's fine."

He could almost hear Jon's retort, but at least he didn't say it out loud.

Leo breathed in, measuredly, until the nausea receeded almost completely. He wasn't looking forward to the next hour until the stop, but at least it was just one more hour or so.

He straightened up, "switch with me, let me drive."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Leo nodded, "and stop kicking yourself over it, it's fine."

"I'll make it up to you," Jonah promised, getting in the passenger side. Leo got in the driver one, fiddling with the seat.

"Oh, yeah, you better. I want breakfast in bed tomorrow morning," he teased lightly, even if the mere thought of food made his stomach churn.

Jon opened a relieved smile at the teasing, "deal, breakfast and head, how about?"

"Sounds lovely," Leo snorted, starting up the car.