#and then sj falls into i hate everyone the same

[windcloudii]

So here it is. I based rogue!SY design on Plantzun Japanese version.

It's AU where he's transmigrated earlier and saved young Shen Jiu, so they travel together.

SJ is tired (he's flustered) of SY charming people (or demons), so he needs to take preventive measures.

SY: *shoujo sparkling* Call me gege.

SJ: no.

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Brain going brrr for Shen Jiu food today sosisosl

So hear me out, modern au. Shen Jiu doesn’t remember anything of their past live(s) and is a relatively famous internet chef. Like he has a PO Box and everything for his fans to send gifts or letters for him to personally read and tell them either what to do or that he’s proud, he never shows his face though, a deathly fear of being found, but by who? His young son, Ming Fan, is all but excited to be Shen Jiu’s direct bloodline in this life. Shen Qingqiu was always his father figure in the first life, but the second he got hurt or something and started caring for that nasty LBH.

Sometimes, Shen Jiu feels unsafe when out on the street and going about his day to day life. He doesn’t know why but certain faces of public figures terrify him. A little lady on the street selling hand made jewelry and staring at him like she’s seen a ghost makes him physically sick. God, he despises the face of this rather famous actor, Luo Bing-something?? He hates this confusing feeling that seemed to come of nowhere. That doesn’t stop them from trying to approach once they see him.

Women in fancy clothes and strong perfume dote on him and he practically melts in their arms. Confused on how they know his name but more than happy to chat about life. They seem happy for him, ecstatic even! Men in suits ranging from serious CEO to flashy idols would stop their cars and holler at him for his time of day. He despises men like that and gives them no acknowledgement while he continues on his way. If he’s lucky they have a tight schedule, if not they follow him to the grocery store and corner him in the frozen section while he picks out treats for his son. Two men have tried that and were met with a smack by popsicles. Social media was set a blaz when videos of this Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge cornered the same man on different days and tried harassing him. Of course their stans refused to believe it was their fault. It MUST be the pretty man minding his business throughout the proof on the grocery camera. The companies dared to contact him afterwards and SJ happily sent back his lawyers information and video proof of their ‘important persons’ harassment and stalking.

One was bold enough to publicly announce that they were looking for him at a political event. Broadcasted nationwide. Shen Jiu felt nothing but disdain for that Yue man. Who says “I’m looking for a man I haven’t seen since I was young and dumb.” During a political conference?? Just because you know it’s being broadcasted!? His fans during a livestream asked what he thought about it and he angrily said that Yue man was a fool! An absolute clown for thinking that wishing some guy that doesn’t even know him will come looking for him just because he said his name!

He never had a bad experience with women until one scowled at him and he instinctively scowled back. He had his son with him that day and was trying to not be hounded. But this woman continued to follow him and berate his clothing, his hair. He could handle scrutiny of himself but the moment she said anything about Ming Fan, be it his appearance or his mother, he drew the line. Wiping around to face this despicable woman and spitting the iciest response he could without scaring Ming Fan. He remembered seeing her on a magazine before. Some model or washed up actress. God help her when he posts the body cam footage his partner made him wear after the second Grocery store incident. She scoffed at him and just continued to point and jeer at him. Wondering if the others were only following him for his pretty face. Others?? The men that harassed him and the girls that scurried with their tail between their legs?? Shen Jiu is starting to think it’s time to move. He desperately wants to mind his business and live his life but they seem adamant on harassing him.

So he does! He announces it on a video after the fact so that they can’t find him even if they try to. Perks of dating a rich ceo, anonymity is quite easy with money!

Shen Jiu happily married his now hubby and they have many more kids with Ming Fan adoring them all. He refuses to be nice to this one lady at his school that tries to be friendly with him and will run crying to SJ, who remembers her as the jewelry stand girl, and he immediately has his son in a different class. Life going well for the man who was claimed to be evil in past lives, meanwhile the others are crumbling day by day now that he’s missing and they can’t seem to find him, no matter what. (NYY may have stalked him to the remote village but she wouldn’t tell the others. She can’t risk making Shizun hate her more). The ones that harassed her were publicly pitted by their companies and forced to apologize to him specifically. When word got out that Shen Jiu vanished it did NOT look good for them.. LBH had the wrath of his mother and LQG had a mother and grandmother to fear. QQQ was fired and black listed from the media. She would have just apologized if she had insulted the man himself, but following and insulting the child too? The media scorned her already shitty gossip personality. Any time she tried to get on tv they would turn on his and snicker about her cancellation. YQY lived lavishly, but lonely. He had a political marriage and no children. He refused to touch his wife. No matter what she would say all he could do is smile and apologize. Work wise things were going well. Since they didn’t have a punching bag to push everything on and the other politicians seemed to work smoothly despite disagreements, he had no real need to focus on work 24/7. But he did. He was always in his office scouring the internet for Xiao Jiu.

SY and SQH weren’t mentioned because they literally wouldn’t do anything different from usual. They wouldn’t even meet their past life husbands (LBH would think SY is a fan and just give his usual charm and leave. He’s already found SJ, this man is just a fake clearly). SQH wouldn’t have the chance to get MBJ, the neet writer would see him once and fumble his words. Probably earning a scoff as MBJ walked off to go meet his peer/partner. The two millennials would probably bond online over a story and get close. Maybe a failed relationship but remained friends.

TLDR; Everyone reincarnated and their lives fall apart if they don’t change their attitude towards SJ. SJ doesn’t remember them and just wants to raise his baby MF in peace. Jobs are lost and public relations are plummeting because these fools couldn’t find healthier ways to reconnect with SJ.

[fixielixie]

As a fan of shen jiu's character, what do you think of the opinion " Shen yuan does not deserve to be called Shen qingqiu/ he is just a body snatcher"... Admittedly, he did gain the benefit of sj's cultivation/position but i've even seen it said lbh only loves sy because he thinks he is sqq, he wouldn't fall in love with sy if he were anyone else.

i just think its a misunderstanding of shen yuans agency in this situation. he had as little choice over what happened as shen jiu did, its not like he chose to die and have his soul be put into the body of what he thought was a fictional villain. shen yuan really only did the most he could in a shitty situation, like what did they expect him to do? tell everyone he wasnt shen qingqiu and risk being killed again??? he took his second chance at life and ran with it.

i feel like bringing up stuff like "doesnt deserve to be called sqq" is useless bc to basically everyone else but yqy the version of sqq that shen yuan created is the only version they know. and saying hes a body snatcher is also implying that shen yuan somehow chose for this to happen to him.

shen yuan benefitted from the situation, but he also lost everything he had ever known and was forced to live out a life that ultimately wasnt his. also the concept of lbh loving sqq over shen yuan is so absurd, i mean look at what bingge did to the original sqq, its what bingmei would have done if og!sqq had never died because the story would have been played out the same. lbh didnt love the og!sqq, he loved shen yuan. it was shen yuan's kindness and empathy that he attached to. in the extras bingge only met shen yuan for a few hours and was also smitten, which very much makes it seem like that no matter the binghe it is, he'll always find himself attached and drawn to shen yuan.

the og!sqq was not a good person and hated lbh and went out of his way to abuse his power to show that. lbh didnt even feel anything positive to the oq!sqq let alone loving him.

i think its highly likely that if shen yuan transmigrated into say ming fan and treated lbh well lbh would have fallen in love with him. especially if the og!sqq still treated him badly. at the end of the day lbh is mentally unstable and latches onto any kindness anyone shows to him, and lucky for him shen yuans weakness seems to be treating lbh gently and kindly- a match made in heaven.

[megalony]

Chest infection

This is a dad! Harry Styles imagine that I hope everyone is going to enjoy, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Summary: Harry and (Y/n) spend the day looking after their daughter when she’s sick.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slowly lifting his head from where it was tucked into the crook of (Y/n)'s neck, Harry glanced his eyes over to the clock on the side table behind (Y/n), his blurring vision seeing that it was six in the morning. It was far too early to get up when he didn't have to head down to the studio and had no interviews or meetings or press events he had to go to. It was especially too early to get up when he had gotten back at eleven last night from a press event and didn't get to sleep until gone midnight.

But he knew that it had been a few hours since he had last checked on his little girl and he just wanted to go and make sure that she was okay. For the past week Amber had been suffering with a chest infection and (Y/n) and Harry had taken to checking on her every few hours during the night just to make sure she was fine and breathing okay since she was prone to coughing and wheezing a lot.

It took a lot of effort for Harry to tear himself away from (Y/n) and stand up but once his feet hit the carpet and his head cleared, he slowly trudged out of the room and down the hall to Amber's room.

A small smile formed on Harry's lips when he quietly peeked his head round the door into the pale aqua blue room that was dimly lit up by the paper fairy lights hanging up in loops above the bed which always reminded Harry of Christmas lights.

He'd been peering his head round the door every few hours since he got back home last night, making sure his little girl was okay. He was glad he didn't have to go into the studio today and do any recording or writing because it meant he could stay home and make sure Amber was okay. Harry was about to turn around and leave the room but he heard Amber's raspy voice calling out for him.

"Daddy." Her voice was quiet but croaky and followed by a cough that made Harry shiver and wince. He hated when either (Y/n) or Amber were ill, he didn't know what to do to help and when Amber was a baby and she was ill it made Harry feel so helpless when trying to make her feel better.

He turned back in her direction and slowly walked into the room and across the navy blue carpet that his feet sank into like he was walking on sand. When he reached Amber he laid down on the bed beside her, opening his arms so she could cuddle up into his chest. When she tucked herself against him Harry kissed the top of her head, fighting hard to stay awake when he could feel his mind so close to shutting down from the lack of sleep he'd had so far tonight.#

"You okay baby girl?" He whispered quietly against her hair, feeling how she was wheezing every few breaths but he was glad he could hear the tiredness in her voice, she needed to get some more sleep.

"Hmm. S-sing daddy, please?" Amber was already on the way to sleep when she spoke, Harry could hear her voice dropping and her head lolling against his chest because it was too much effort to try and look up at him. But he would indulge her and sing to her to make sure she got to sleep. Normally whether they were in the car, cooking, dancing around the house or even just taking a walk, Amber and Harry would be singing together. But right now they both knew Amber wasn't in the best state to sing so she would settle for listening to Harry sing to get her to sleep.

Lullabies always worked on the four year old ever since she was born, Harry singing was the best remedy she could want.

Harry very quietly started to sing Sweet Creature to her which was Amber and his mother's favourite song of his but halfway through the lyrics he turned to humming the song instead when Amber was already asleep. He started to card his fingers through Amber's matching chocolate brown locks, undoing any knots and tangles in her hair as he lulled himself to sleep with his girl in his arms.

Harry didn't know how long he had been asleep but when he slowly cracked his eyes open the room was significantly lighter than before. The glow of the fairy lights was dimmed out by the light passing through the thin curtains. He tipped his head back into the pillow as his tired eyes focused on (Y/n) sitting on the side of the bed beside him, her eyes slowly drifting between him and Amber. It was unusual to see Harry laying on his back when he always slept on his side but it was very endearing to see him laying like this with Amber sprawled out on his chest with her head tucked neatly under his chin.

"How's she doing?"

(Y/n) reached over and brushed some of Amber's hair back behind her ear as Harry simultaneously did the same to his own hair before rubbing at his eyes with the base of his hand to try and wake himself up. He caught sight of the clock on the wall opposite him saying that it was half past eight so he'd had just over two hours of sleep with Amber. Presumably she'd had the same amount of sleep or else she would have woken him up.

"She's good, been sound asleep." Both parents could hear the croaky way she was breathing but she was calm and asleep and not gasping for air which showed she wasn't getting any worse.

"Bring her to sleep in our room, I miss you both." It took Harry a moment longer than it should have for him to realise that (Y/n) was still in her pyjamas meaning she hadn't gotten up or got breakfast yet, (Y/n) had a thing for getting dressed before doing anything in the morning.

A fond smile formed on Harry's lips when (Y/n) leaned down, tucking her face into the crook of his neck so she could press butterfly kisses to his skin causing shivers to run up and down his spine.

"Come on then." Harry kissed (Y/n)'s cheek before he slowly sat up, cradling Amber to his chest since was still asleep and he wanted to keep it that way. He methodically ran his fingers through Amber's hair as he tiredly followed (Y/n) out of the room and down to their room. The moment Harry carefully sat down on the bed he froze when Amber let out a cough against his chest causing him to rub his hand up and down her back for a few moments.

(Y/n) reached her arm out and pulled Amber close to her chest when Harry settled her in the middle of the bed under the covers with them. The four year old scrunched up the cover around her, curling her arms and legs up to her chest as her breathing crackled like static but she seemed much calmer than yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"D-daddy?" Amber's spluttering yet worried voice snapped Harry out of the daze he had been in for a while watching the random tv programme that had been on for about an hour now just before (Y/n) had gotten a shower and gone downstairs to get some jobs done. His arm retracted from resting behind his head and he looked down at Amber.

The four year old had been asleep on and off since coming into her parent's room and she hadn't been eating very much either. Harry knew for the past half an hour she hadn't been asleep but she had been laid down under his arm pressed up to his side with her eyes closed so he figured she was just resting since she was unwell.

"What's up, baby?" His fingers carded through Amber's hair for a few moments but he could feel his heartbeat increasing when Amber was beginning to cough and splutter more than she was actually breathing in.

Harry sat himself up better on the bed before he gently lifted Amber up so she was sitting beside him rather than laying down. He rubbed his hand up and down her back to see if it would help get her lungs working better and help her to take in a proper breath but he could see the way her eyes were full of fright as they burned into his own. She was looking at him in fear like she was trying to search his eyes to find the answers she needed.

The sudden cry that left Amber's lips startled Harry and made him lean back in shock when her cry sounded like she was gasping for air but wailing at him at the same time like he had done something wrong.

"Shh, hey it's okay, you're okay." Harry rested one hand on Amber's chest and the other kept rubbing up and down her back to try and help. It was like the time she had fallen down the stairs and knocked all the wind out of her system, she just had to figure out how to get rid of the shock and breathe properly again. The more Amber panicked the worse her breathing was going to be.

A sense of panic rushed through Harry when tears started to fall from Amber's eyes and she was still gasping like a fish out of water.

After a minute had passed, Harry moved his hand and gently brushed the tears from Amber's eyes but the frown on his face creased and deepened and he felt like his heart was breaking in his chest at seeing his girl wheezing like this. There was a panicked look in her eyes when she seemed to breathe out and cough but not be able to take any air in.

Tears welled in Harry's eyes when Amber suddenly gasped and seemed to grog like her throat muscles were rubbing together, not allowing her to breathe. One of her hands reached out and grabbed Harry's arm but the other started to wave up and down in front of her chest to indicate that it was hurting and that she couldn't breathe, as if Harry didn't already know this. Another choking sound left Amber's lips before she scrunched her eyes up tightly and let out the most groggy, strangled wail which boarded on a scream that Harry had ever heard.

"Alright baby girl, it's alright." Hooking his hands under her arms, Harry picked Amber up from sitting on the bed so he could hold her against his chest with her arms around his neck and her chin resting on his shoulder. He grabbed the blanket resting beside him and wrapped it around them both, tucking it around Amber before he slowly but forcefully started to rub his hand up and down her back and between her shoulder blades.

When Harry felt her breaths becoming more normal instead of rapid coughing and no intakes, he slowly stood to his feet, keeping the blanket tightly around Amber before he made his way out of the room and down to the bathroom. A bath and a lot of steam was what Amber needed right now to help her chest.

"D-daddy it h.. hurts..." There was a fearful tone to Amber's crackling voice and her arms tightened significantly around Harry's neck when he reached the bathroom.

He could feel the way she was shaking against him and he was sure she could feel the nerves radiating off of him from how badly she was breathing. Harry remembered when he and his sister used to have bad chest infections, their mother swore by steam and hot baths to calm down any fever and open their chests to let them breathe so he was going to follow his mother's example and pray that it helped.

"You're gonna have a bath baby girl and it'll make you feel better I promise."

Moving over to the pale pink bath mat, Harry sat down cross-legged and settled Amber on his lap, keeping her bundled under the blanket against his chest to try and keep her chest warm to help her breathing. He kept the bathroom window closed and reached across to turn on the taps to run the bath. Waiting for it to full felt like Harry was waiting three lifetimes over as he sat swaying Amber in his arms until the water filled to a substantial amount and was layered with bubbles.

The bath couldn't have filled up quick enough when Harry realised Amber was breathing in more and more but she wasn't breathing out this time rather than the other way around. It sounded like her throat muscles were clenching and pressing together like she was having an allergic reaction to something when she wasn't.

He made sure the temperature was hot but not hot enough to scold or burn Amber before he unravelled the blanket from around her. The little girl's nose was running, her eyes were red and puffy but her skin was pale and her lips were parted and she was coughing brutally.

"Come on baby."

Harry stood Amber to her feet in front of him and took off her Winnie The Pooh pyjamas, watching the way she shivered and tilted her head back to see if it would help with her breathing. He wasted no more time before gently lifting her up and sitting her in the bath. It clearly took Amber a moment to adjust to the water temperature but when she slowly lowered her shoulders into the water, her coughing changed to grumbles and clearing her throat before she seemed to settle down in just over a minute.

Harry stayed sitting beside the bath, watching the steam swirl around Amber like wheels of smoke enveloping around her in a comforting hug. He dipped his hand into the water so he could splash some bubbles at her, watching how she breathed much better and seemed a lot calmer in the bubbles and the water and that in turn made him feel better.

"Harry?" (Y/n) tried to read her husband's face when she looked into the bathroom to see if he and Amber were in here. She came back upstairs and they were no longer in their bedroom or Amber's room.

"She wasn't doing so good so I... I thought the steam might help." The dwindling panic on Harry's faced said it all and showed the anxiety he had gone through just moments ago.

(Y/n) closed the door behind her and kneeled down on the mat beside Harry, her eyes focusing on Amber who was tiredly playing with a sponge and hitting at the bubbles. She was still croaky and her breaths were uneven but at least she was breathing and didn't look like she was struggling too much. (Y/n) leaned her head on Harry's shoulder as he ran his fingers through his hair, it was naturally curly anyway but the steam was making his hair curl even worse into small but millions of little crimped curls rather than longer waves.

"I'll get her out now, could you grab her onesie?" (Y/n) moved over until she was kneeling beside the end of the tub where Amber was. She would take over since Harry had spent most of the night and morning with her but (Y/n) knew it would be better to put Amber in her thick woolly onesie to keep her warm and stop the cold from getting to her chest. "Come on baby, I think you need another nap."

(Y/n) whipped the towel from the radiator and wrapped it around Amber when the four year old tiredly stood up, smiling weakly when (Y/n) lifted her from the tub and sat her down on her lap to dry her off.

The only good thing about when Amber was sick or feeling under the weather was the fact that she was so attached to both parents and wanted endless cuddles and that was something that Harry adored.

When Harry came back into the bathroom he kneeled beside his girls, handing (Y/n) the baby blue mixed with light pink onesie, watching (Y/n) get Amber changed as he sat with a fluffy blanket in his hands ready to wrap Amber up in to keep her warm.

Harry was about to hand the blanket over to (Y/n) to wrap around Amber but he had no time before a sudden coughing fit overtook the four year old that made her cheeks turned a vibrant shade of crimson and caused the muscles around her neck to constrict and tighten. It was clear that the steam had only cleared her chest and lungs for so long because she could barely catch enough oxygen to breathe right now despite the room being covered in steam that made it hard to see straight.

The moment Amber managed to take in a proper breath, a wail left her lips that made (Y/n) shiver and sent Harry reeling. She looked like she was in so much pain and Amber had a very small pain threshold, even a minor paper cut or a stubbed toe sent her into fits of tears. She didn't know what to do or how to react when she was ill and cuddles could only calm her down and work for so long.

"Ohh, baby." Harry cooed when Amber started to cry which sounded more like broken static on a tv.

Harry smiled sadly when Amber shuffled across from (Y/n)'s lap into his own, snuggling into the blanket when he wrapped it around her before he gently picked her up and stood to his feet along with (Y/n). They needed to bundle Amber back under the covers in bed and keep her warm but the couple knew a trip to the hospital was most likely what was going to happen later on today if Amber got any worse.

"Let's get you back to bed."

[yuvon-writes-letters]

To all,

I was, actually going to point that out.

The entity seems to be ab###################

Hold on.

##################

Yeah, this isn’t working.

Hold on, I have an idea. I just hope you’re smart enough to catch on.

Xli irxmxc wiiqw xs fi efpi xs fpsgo syx erc qirxmsrw sj mx. Mj xlmw gmtliv xibx asvow, xlir ai qmklx fi efpi xs lezi e asvo-evsyrh.

Yes, it didn’t blur out!

On other notes, Rai is, very very slowly getting used to the break. I think it has something to do with the people at the theater he works at. He mentioned that he got a job as a stage technician in a popular theater right? Well, I think the easy work-load is slowly relaxing him.

I caught him taking a nap on the couch an hour ago, which is revolutionary. He always hated taking naps, saying that it feels like he’s wasting life away whenever he accidentally takes one.

More thoughts, I might gain the ire of both entities if I say this, but it’s worth it.

For an entity hell-bent on “preserving innocence” and “stopping the narrative of the new-born”, Flower seems to be rather passive ever since their initial attack. I’m assuming through their current actions and the wording of their letters, that their simply waiting it out until the end of the game, or until your entity does something. What their waiting for, is the real question.

My best guess is some sort of big development, but it’s also possible that their biding their time to attack once again. I’ll leave those thoughts to your interpretation.

Flower also seems to, well, feel might be to big of a word, “recognize” empathy. I’m using empathy very loosely, since I’m not even sure if their able to feel or not. Flower mentioned regret to the Entity, scolding it for not feeling bad for the actions they committed. This maybe suggests that Flower is able to feel empathy, if it weren’t for the fact that they threatened to kill everyone for innocence.

Most likely, killing us is their way of truly protecting us. Innocence exists after death, they say.

Whatever the case, even if their a neutral party, Flower is clearly the lesser of two evils, what you want to do with this theory is up to you.

I appreciate the get-wells, do not worry, I have been through worse in drills, scrapped knuckles are the least of my worries.

Fare well.

Skie

[After you finish reading the letter, two screenshots fall out. They seem to be of the phone conversation between the entity and Rai. Strangely, the first few texts from Rai’s number are blurred out the same way the sentence was, and they only cease when Rai start’s texting]

Skie,

I wonder if entities are somehow incapable of deciphering our messages, or if our entities just happen to be really bad at it.

(Oddly enough, under each ciphered word there's a small line, as if Yuvon underlined each word, but some of the letters are bunched together to fit better on the lines.) M lezi e xlisvc, ex piewx tivxemrmrk xs qc irxmxc, fyx M VIEPPC hsr'x aerx xs izir vmwo wecmrk mx mr gmtlivw. M lezir'x izir jsyrh e aec xs wejipc xipp Neoi cix. M'pp xvc xs jmkyvi syx ersxliv aec xs wec mx pexiv.

I'm glad Rai seems to be doing well. You may want to double-check his mood occasionally.

It seems like Flower decided to show that they are a serious potential threat before making a demand, that demand being that the entity not do any more "games." Which is... worrying. Does that mean there are other Yuvons who went through the same thing I am? Does that mean that, if the entity doesn't listen, there WILL be more Yuvons?

I also suspect that Flower might act if the entity acts out of line again and does something nasty, but I don't know how Flower defines "amnesty."

If Flower can feel empathy (and certainly Goldie seems to, so it's not impossible) it would be a very twisted and warped sense of empathy. It doesn't seem like Flower WANTS to hurt everyone reading, but she somehow decided that attacking you was the best way of convincing the entity? And she sort of said "well I don't really want them dead but what does it matter anyways."

...Maybe it is her way of protecting us. It's a possibility.

She is the lesser of two evils for now, yes.

Hey, the entity is going modern! Now it can harass anyone privately. Yaaay.

Jake's out like a light, so I'll end this one here. See ya.

—Yuvon

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

(A transcription of the text conversation will be up shortly.)

[eushiloh]

⟨ SYDNEY SWEENEY. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, SHILOH MONROE is actually a descendent of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old DANCE MAJOR from COPENHAGEN, DENMARK has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite EMPATHIC & INDECISIVE.

howdy howdy howdy, i’m h and lemme just start by saying how excited i am to be here and bring this sweet little baby to life. i’m gonna keep this little section short and sweet because there’s HELLA info below (if you read it all, bless u sweet angels) so without further ado, let’s get into it, shall we?

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME shiloh josefine monroe NICKNAME(S) shi, sj OCCUPATION cashier at eonia theater/dance major SEXUALITY: bisexual AGE 23 DATE OF BIRTH march 3rd NATIONALITY danish RELIGION spiritual THREAT LEVEL 3/10

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

FACE CLAIM sydney sweeney HEIGHT 5′4 EYE COLOR blue HAIR COLOUR + STYLE dirty blonde, typically in messy/loose waves DOMINANT HAND left DISTINGUISHING FEATURES big, sleepy eyes, full lips, wide smile, strong dancer legs ACCENT + INTENSITY danish accent (here is a video for reference of how it sounds) TATTOO(S) she has three tattoos, they are all fairly small and dainty. one is a pair of pink ballet slippers on her ankle, then a cresent moon with clouds on the inside of her right wrist, and lastly (her biggest one) is a dream catcher along her left side of her ribs. SCAR(S) one along her right knee from when she fell off a bike as a child and cut her leg open PIERCING(S) five in each ear, she has a nose hoop but forgets about it all the time, and her belly button.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

HOMETOWN copenhagen, denmark CURRENT RESIDENCE athens, greece LANGUAGE(S) Danish/English SOCIAL CLASS middle BASIC EDUCATION high school COLLEGE EDUCATION currently a junior in college DEGREE(S) N/A PARENT #1 sofia monroe PARENT #2 n/a PET(S) white cat named cloud RAP SHEET? squeaky clean PRISON TIME? yeah right

VICES + HABITS

SMOKES? yes DRINKS? yes DRUGS? only weed VIOLENT? no ADDICTION(S)? sleeping? maybe? SELF-DESTRUCTIVE? sometimes HABIT(S) humming to herself, bouncing her leg, rubbing her lips together, not making eye contact when she speaks, cracking her knuckles HOBBIES dancing, sleeping, binge watching shows in her bed, yoga LIKES native american flute music, the color blue, soft lighting, dance clothes, sleeping in, and reality television DISLIKES loud noises, violence, people staring for too long, and heavy metal music. OBSESSION(S) dancing and sleeping, once again COMPULSION(S) leaving events early to be alone?? does that count?

MISCELLANEOUS INFORMATION

HOUSE hypnos ZODIAC pisces ELEMENT water ANIMAL panda

P O W E R S

when it comes to her powers, the strongest that shiloh has come to obtain would be hypnokinesis , though she tries not to take advantage of it too much. trying be the key word there, because there’s something so entrancing about living in somewhat of a dream like world, which is usually what she likes to use the power for. it first started out with delving into a fantasy land, a place for her to escape to and get lost in, and slowly she found herself falling deeper and deeper into her own rabbit hole. even as a young lady, she’d always heard people refer to her as their “dream girl” and once she realized she had the ability to somewhat make some dreams come true, she couldn’t help but sink into her title. once she got the hang of it, she couldn’t help but use it to her advantage here and there, if she had a crush on somebody she would appear in their dreams more and more. a sucker for romance, it was basically how she swayed her suitors, although sometimes it was for nothing whenever she realized it was all fantasy and never reality. still, living in dream worlds was too delicious not to become wrapped up in, that it became something she mastered perfectly. whether it was astral projecting herself into other settings while she was sleeping, or into other dreams, it seemed shiloh was entirely infatuated with living in her own little dream worlds. although, something that came hand in hand with dreams were nightmares, an area that shiloh hated getting stuck in.

something that she is wanting to dip her toes into more, would be her shapeshifting abilities. the blonde has only been able to do such in a limited ability, only recently being able to do so whenever she is fully awake. it’s uncomfortable, sure, but there’s something so mesmerizing about taking on the form of something else….or better yet someone else. often there’s many eyes on her, so being able to blend into a background and garner less attention is a rush of relief for her.

the girl has also always excelled in the levitation ability aspect of her life, shiloh has always been rather light on her feet, it was almost as if she was always floating. almost a picture of grace, it brought her face to face with something she adored at a rather early age: dancing. enrolled in classes from the age of 8, shiloh practically could float across a dance floor with elegance, something she now contributes to her levitation aspect of her powers.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

with wide eyes and a soft smile, shiloh had always been rather quiet yet somehow still garnered the attention in a room. she wasn’t the type of girl to command it though, often keeping to herself, there was something magnetic and glowy about her that made her fall into the social hierarchy without really trying to. the blonde had always prided herself on being a good friend to those around her, even if they never gave her the same respect back, and soon realized that she was becoming a doormat to those around her. she kept everyone’s secrets, harboring them inside her like a vessel and remembering the little things others might have even forgotten they’d told her. soon enough, shiloh had realized she had enough dirt and ammo on those around her that if they ever did cross her, she’d use against them if need be. but luckily, thus far, the girl never had to shoot her shot to the heart just yet. a part of her always wondered if she had the guts to do it anyways, to cross those who she’d held nearest and dearest, or if she’d end up chickening out from the fear of hurting them too much. a never ending battle of right and wrong within her, she often finds herself torn and defeated by the end of the day. it makes her almost come off as flaky and aloof, although her intentions are typically anything but pure, her own overthinking tends to be her downfall. never letting anyone close enough to pick her brain, she is a beautiful mystery with expectations that had always been built upon her back. to be perfect, to be a vision of grace and poise, but sometimes she just wants to let loose and say fuck it to everything that had ever been expected of her and prove that she’s anything but a delicate flower. she has thorns that she’s never shown, and she fears if anyone gets to close, she’ll draw blood without warning.

EXTRA THINGS LOL

shiloh is on the dance team, obviously, the girl lives for dancing and when she’s not dancing....she’s probably napping. 

also she has a job at the eonia theater as a cashier, so you’ll see her little sleepy self behind the counter and sometimes sneaking into the show to sleep in the back.

her mother was the type to live vicariously through her, always putting pressure on her to be “perfect” and put together. there was even a time in her younger years whenever her mother would put her into pageants, which shiloh absolutely hated, it was too much energy towards something she hated which ultimately left her feeling even more drained than normal. in fact, any pictures remaining of that time in her life are privately stored away and she refuses to revisit that memory which she even went lengths to alter from people’s brains whenever she figured out she had that ability.

the only good thing that she found from pageants was her love of dance, something that shiloh has passionately pursued all her life. she was enrolled in ballet mostly but soon fell in love with contemporary dance, and it was something that satisfied her mother, a win-win.

even though she was accepted as someone that was a part of the “in-crowd” in high school, celeste suffers from social anxiety, instead of hanging out at parties she often finds herself slipping away and disappearing. she’s much more of a homebody than someone who enjoys going out, being peer pressured is something she often falls victim to because she’s afraid of coming off as flaky, although she tends to do so anyways due to her disappearing acts.

the relationship she has with her mother is strained, because while she loves her mom, the constant pressure to “perform” and the way her mother sort of pushed her and talked so highly of her has her nervous to disappoint those around her. she constantly feels as if she has to be some sort of social butterfly, when the idea of getting close to people terrifies her, leaving her in a never-ending cycle of what she SHOULD be and what she WANTS to be.

speaking of relationships, most of celeste’s tend to fizzle out quickly once her partners discover she’s not all that they dreamt her up to be. it could be her fault, inserting herself into people’s dreams to learn more about them, that most of her relationships die out after the honeymoon phase...making her fear commitment all together.

she’s a pisces, because....well, obviously.

shiloh is bisexual, although she is a little nervous about dating women seeing as her mother wouldn’t quite understand, most of her public relationships have been exclusively with men due to her fear of disappointing her mother.

[benhardyisdaddy]

my plus one - part 12

MASTERLIST 

(welcome to the last part of mpo!!! i loooooved writing this and thank u to everyone that supported and loved it!! ilysm!!! also the pic has no relevance besides it looks like hes at a resort and hes just freaking adorable lmao)

Word Count: 1,225

“And where exactly do you think you’re going!?”

Everyone in the audience gasps loudly as Roger strides towards Alex. Alex’s once embarrassed face is now twisted into an angry, red expression. He stops backing away and balls his fists. 

“What!? So you’re prince charming coming to the rescue!? You always have to ruin everything, don’t you, Roger?”

Roger is stood in front of Alex with the look of death on his face. You can tell how badly he wants to swing at him. He’s practically shaking, but he’s holding himself back. 

“I always knew you were jealous of me.” hisses Alex. 

“Enough!” you scream as you drop your bouquet and walk over to them. 

Tears are filling your eyes as they continue to have a stare down. Ellie hurries over to stand next to you. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this for such a long time.” spats Alex. 

He lifts his arm back and goes to hit Roger square in the face. Roger realizes his game plan and takes a quick step back to fully avoid the blow. The look on Alex’s face is complete horror as Roger snickers and shakes his head. Everyone is silent as Roger licks his lips and suddenly lunges forward as he decks Alex right in the nose - and hard. Everyone screams as they stand up fast. Roger hits him again just as you run up and grab his arm to stop him. He’s breathing heavily in a rage. 

“And you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that!” yells Roger.

“Roger!” you shout. 

He’s staring at Alex and doesn’t even hear you. 

“Roger!” you shout once more. 

This time, you get his attention. He looks to you fast and his expression becomes soft. You were crying as you stare at him with pleading eyes. He drops his arm and his eyes never leave yours. It was as if you two were communicating even through silence. He just slowly nods his head and grabs your hand. You smile to him as you turn to look at Ellie. Alex’s family had rushed to help him as everyone else just watches. Ellie gives you a sad smile and nods. 

“Go,” she whispers. 

You smile back as Roger begins walking away - you following behind. You make your way to the tiny shack that you were just previously in. The door closes and you cover your face and sigh. You turn around to look at Roger. 

“I’m so sor-” 

Before you can finish, Roger grabs your face and kisses you hard. You’re surprised by his sudden actions, but you instantly melt against him. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him even closer into you. You kiss for a few more moments and then rest your forehead against his. 

“Please,” he whispers, slightly out of breath. “Please don’t ever apologize. I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t believe you when I should have. This was all on me.” 

“You didn’t know.” you whisper back. “I didn’t want to kiss him.” 

“I know.” he says fast. “I know. Ellie told me everything. I was such a jerk and I hate myself for walking away. You deserved way more than that. I’m sorry.” 

You shake your head and graze your finger against his bottom lip. You smile sweetly. 

“Me too.” 

Roger smiles and leans back in to kiss you. The moment was perfect and right now, you couldn’t be happier. Everything was out in the open and you were no longer feeling this huge weight on your back. It was like you had freedom again. And this time… with Roger. 

“I can’t believe you punched him.” you laugh, causing Rog to do the same. 

“Did you see the look on his face!? Of course I hit him!” 

This sends you two into a fit of laughter. 

“You’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” 

Roger makes a look as if he’s thinking really hard. 

“Mmm, yeah. Yeah I have.” 

You smile as you sniffle a bit.

“I’m just so happy you came back.” 

Roger shakes his head as his smile falters a bit.

“I should have never left in the first place.”

You cup his face with your hand as he leans into it. 

“And you can sort of thank Ellie for that.” he jokes.

You nod and smile. 

“Should we…” you ask as you point to the door. 

Roger nods his head fast and laughs. 

“I think we should.” 

You grin as he takes you hand and the two of you sneak out of the shack and make a break for it towards the resort. You can still hear a commotion on the beach when you finally make it to the front. You walk inside and head straight to the elevator. It feels like forever until you’re finally to your room. 

“Do you think they’ll try to find us?” asks Roger, staring at the window. 

You shake your head no as you slip your shoes off. You walk up to him and rest your hands on his shoulders.

“They’re not missing us.” you tease. 

Roger leans back in and kisses you. You don’t want this moment to ever end. 

*** 

1 Year Later 

“How do I look?” you ask nervously. 

You’re standing in front of a mirror as you stare yourself down. Your nerves are insane as you feel yourself practically trembling. 

“You look beautiful.” says Ellie as she walks up. 

You turn around to face her as she holds your hands. 

“There’s nothing to be worried about. You’ve wanted this for so long!” she whispers. 

You feel tears threaten to spill, but you blink them away. 

“No crying!” you laugh. “I’ll ruin my makeup.” 

Your mother is watching you two with her hand over her heart. This was a big moment for you and you couldn’t wait any longer. 

“They’re ready!” someone shouts as they knock on the door. 

You jump and look to the two of them with wide eyes. 

“Remember to breathe. It’s okay.” 

Your mother and Ellie leave the room and you’re left there alone. You take in deep breaths and smile. Suddenly, you open the door and walk out yourself. You go around the corner and your father is waiting for you. 

“Ready?” he asks with a smile on his face. 

You smile as you hug him tightly. 

“I’m so proud of you.” he whispers in your ear. 

All you can do is sweetly smile as you fight back tears. You link your arm with his and nod. 

“I’m ready.” 

You two begin walking and suddenly your eyes catch Roger’s. He looks beyond shocked as his mouth falls open. That’s when the tears hit you. You smile at him as you silently sob. Roger has to wipe a few tears away from his own eyes as you get closer. You make it to him finally as your father hugs you once more. Ellie is stood behind you as she grins. You stand in front of Roger and take his hands. 

“You look beautiful, Mrs. Taylor.” he whispers. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Mr. Taylor.” 

You both smile as your eyes are locked together. You’ve dreamed of this day since you were a little girl and it’s finally happening. You finally get your happily ever after. For the first time, you’re not the plus one.

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[battlestar-royco]

One thing I really dislike about the relationships in pretty much every single SJ/M book is that, they're all based on lust. There really does not seem to be any genuine love or affection between the characters, the basis for every relationship is lust. Such relationships rarely last and I hate that according to SJ/M, these relationships are supposedly the healthy ones. Lust is certainly one aspect, but there's so much more to a healthy long term relationship

For me, it’s not only the lust extreme factor but also the utter lack of anything else in the relationships. There’s no tenderness, no history, no commonality in the personalities, no actually funny jokes. And even when the history and jokes are present, they are sexual. The closest thing to tenderness in the entire AC0TAR series is when C/assian rubs M0r’s feet. Other than that it’s all pretty much sexual tension based on whether or not select Inner Circle members are gonna have sex. The “I woke up with a blanket on despite falling asleep without one” or “Let me help you undo your tie” or “This random thing at the store made me think of you so I had to buy it” or “I brought you your favorite book to read while you’re sick” moments are few and far between. It’s mostly “Rice made me write provocative lines while I was learning to read,” “I sent Rice images of lingerie through our mating bond,” or “C/assian and N/esta are at each other’s throats for no reason and now he’s manhandling her in her own house yikes” moments.

There is potential for SJ/M’s romantic bonds to transcend the physical, but the opportunities are often squandered. For example, A/mren really likes this one team of this one sport. We never learn the sport or the team, nor do we learn everyone else’s favorites. What if two love interests really stanned the same team or had a playful rivalry based on their opposing teams and passion for the sport? Nope. None of them have favorite pastimes in common aside from going out to nightclubs and serving Rice, really. The history between the IC characters is, again, sexual because it’s all setup for M0r being with Assriel (until the retcon of course) and because she and C/assian literally had sex 500 years ago. Obviously that’s not a crime but it’s basically all we know about their relationship before Fayre met them. SJ/M gears the story around the characters having sex. Therefore she sends the message that sex is by far the most important part of a relationship and the best way to express love, when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

[shownuslaugh]

Monkey See

Series: EVE au

Pairing: EVE/SJ; EVE/Astria

2019

“UNNIE!” Eve bounds toward SJ, face pink and flushed with exertion. “UNNIEEEEEE!”

SJ steadies the younger girl when she almost barrels into SJ’s body. “Eve, what’s the matter?”

“I- I saw...” Eve doubles over, hands on her knees as she pants. “Oh, holy shit, I’m out of shape. Ugh, it burns.”

“Your chest?”

“My eyes!”

“What?” SJ giggles as she rubs Eve’s back gently. “Girl, what are you even talking about?”

“When were you going to tell me Top has a girlfriend?”

“That’s not really your business, Eve.” SJ has to hide the pleased tone of her voice. Seems like Top finally made things official with Astria. Good. It’s been a long time coming.

“Well it’s about to be your business,” Eve mutters. “Literally. They’re doing it in your office.”

“What!”

Eve’s eyes go wide as she watches SJ storm off towards her office, yelling something that sounds like ‘can’t ever keep his dick in his pants around her’, but Eve can’t really be certain. The dramatics of it all is a little hilarious though. Even if Eve feels a little bad for starting it.

“Excuse me?”

Eve turns around when someone taps her shoulder only for her mind to go completely blank as her eyes meet Astria’s.

“You’re Astria,” Eve blurts. A large smile stretches across her face. “From Winner. Oh my God, it’s so nice to meet you! I’ve been a huge fan since you’re debut and I’ve gone to so many concerts! You’re amazing on stage! My boyfriend’s bias is Jinu but I actually adore you! Are you here to see SJ? I know you two are friends.” She pauses in her tirade with a small gasp. “Are you joining VIP Entertainment? Are we going to be company sisters?!”

Astria can’t help but laugh at the younger girl’s enthusiasm. “You’re Eve, right? You were incredible on SNL and even better on Hello Counselor.”

To herself (or at least what she thinks is herself) Eve whispers, “fuck she knows who I am.”

“Is SJ around?” Astria can’t deny the kid is adorable. All starry eyed and happy energy.

“Oh! Yeah! She went to go pry Top off some girl in her office!” Eve’s voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “I think he has a secret girlfriend.”

Astria visibly pales and Eve tries to backtrack. “I could be wrong though! I only saw a second. Maybe he was giving her the Heimlich... or CPR... or- oh! You’re leaving. Okay. It was nice meeting you!”

Without anyone around her, Eve is a little lost. She could stroll around a bit, take in the sights of the building, but that would bore her to death. She could call Sangmin? He offered to give her vocal lessons with SJ’s permission when she was on Knowing Brothers. He’s probably working though. Plus, Eve keeps forgetting to bring it up with SJ anyway. She could call her boyfriend but she knows for a fact he’s working. What with preparing for a comeback... or whatever it is they’re calling it now. Eve really has no idea and neither does anyone else really.

Just as Eve is about to give up and go work on some new material for the stand up special she’s working towards, Astria comes walking back down the hallway. Eve wants to stop her and talk but there’s a haunted look in the other girl’s eyes. A look Eve’s never seen before. It sends a chill straight down her spine.

“Are you okay?” Dumb question. Eve knows it even as it’s coming out of her mouth, but she can’t stop it. Word vomit. “There’s some orange juice in our kitchen. I know that always makes me feel better.”

Astria shakes her head. “No thank you.”

Part of Eve really wants to know what happened between Astria, SJ, and Top. The other part of her knows it’s not her business and she shouldn’t ask.

“Umm... listen, I know we don’t know each other or whatever, but, like, you’re a really cool person and things are gonna work out for you.” Eve rubs her forearm. A nervous habit. “No one’s worth getting that bent out of shape for.”

Something seems to click with Astria. Her shoulders straighten and there’s a little light coming back to her eyes. “You’re absolutely right, Eve. Thank you.”

“Oh, yeah, any time!”

“I really hope your boyfriend is a good man.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’d call him a man exactly, but yeah, he’s a great guy.” Eve smiles dreamily. “I think he’s kinda perfect. His eyes are to die for and he’s got the softest hair. His laugh is annoying but in a really cute way, ya know? Plus, he’s just a really sweet dude and-” She cuts herself off. There’s no way Astria wants to hear all this right now.

Astria, for her part, smiles softly at Eve. “I’m glad he’s so good to you.”

“You deserve someone like him too.” Eve nods as if her word is law. “And you’ll get it one day soon. I know you will.”

“Have a good rest of your day, Eve.”

When Astria walks out the front door, Eve dashes off to find SJ. She looks in every room (not that there’s an excessive amount), every closet (again, the number doesn’t require more than one hand), before settling outside SJ’s office. She starts to knock, but stops herself when she registers the argument going on inside.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Seunghyun!” SJ rages. “After all the trouble she’s caused us, caused our family! You just bring her back?!”

“She’s changed-”

“She’s manipulating you! And what about Astria, huh? You just toss her out like yesterday’s trash?”

“Astria can do better than me.” Top sighs heavily, the low sound reverberating around in Eve’s chest. “She deserves better than me.”

“You know what... do whatever the fuck you want. I’m sick of warning you against her. I thought you’d have some sense by now but I’m clearly wrong. But Seunghyun?”

“What?”

“If you ever, and I mean ever, bring her around here again that’s it. I’ll fucking end her before she even looks in Eve’s direction. I should go after her now for even breathing in the same room as Astria.”

“Always protective of your girls.”

Eve hears a little bitterness in his voice and her stomach turns.

“Oh, don’t even.” SJ makes an annoyed sound. “I’m protective of everyone I love and that includes you. I’m just annoyed you’re being a dumb ass.”

“Watch it,” he warns her. 

“Seunghyun, just... just be careful, okay? I hate that you’re doing this but if I can’t stop you I’m at least going to stick around so I can have your back.”

“I’ll see you later, kid.” There’s the sound of a quick kiss- like he gave her a peck on the cheek- and the door opens. Eve jumps back like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, gasping loudly. Top looks at Eve with curiosity before nodding at her and leaving.

“Eve,” SJ calls her into the office. When Eve walks in looking like a kicked puppy SJ opens her arms, petting Eve’s hair when she falls into the hug. “I know you were listening, but for everyone’s sake you need to forget what you heard, okay? It could have repercussions you aren’t ready for if you get involved.”

“But aren’t I involved already? I’m the one who told you. This is all my fault. I didn’t want you and Top to fight because I opened my big mouth.”

“No, sweetie, this isn’t your fault and I don’t want you thinking that way. All this started long before you came on the scene. Let me worry about all this. Don’t get involved.”

Eve nods. “Okay. Oh, SJ? Can we invite Astria out with us for lunch one day? I think she needs a friend.”

SJ chuckles. “Of course we can, kid.”

[mautadite]

september book round up

17 books this month! almost done with my goal for the year, pretty excited about that. don’t know what i’ll concentrate on after i am... probably more schmoopy romance lol. my job broke my contract for the month so i’ll be home for a while with lots of time to read hopefully. or listen, i should say. all of these (other than kaiju maximus) are audiobooks!

society of gentlemen series - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️ victorian m/m series that deals with politics, democrats vs tories, sedition. thought provoking material in a light enough package, and the romance is the main focus. i liked all three books and all three couples, though each book had its issues. in the first, it was that one of the protags was somehow comfortable to settle into the life of luxury that he criticises, and in the third i was a little bewildered by the dynamics. the second was probably my favourite. but still, a good series.

everything between us - harper bliss ⭐️⭐️⭐️ sweet f/f romance. i liked that it dipped into feminism and fat acceptance and other topics that romance books generally just never address. really appreciated that. and i really liked the main character! i just sometimes felt like characters would speak as if they were reading from a textbook, especially when talking about sj issues. it was kinda awkward.

zero visibility - georgia beers ⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f... not quite enemies to lovers. awkward acquaintances to lovers? and there was a lesbian ice queen who was literally an ice queen, she used to be a skiing champion lol. this was good, well written and had a nice small town romance vibe. moved pretty slowly, which i can appreciate in a romance. there were multiple povs, other than the two main characters, which i didn’t like, and there was one super biphobic character who never got taught a lesson. otherwise: pretty good!

bear, otter and the kid - t.j. klune ⭐️⭐️⭐️ very very cute romance/coming of age. guy falls in love with his best friend’s brother while taking care of his little brother after their mother abandoned them. it got very melodramatic never the end (a la misunderstandings and forced break up, it just made me annoyed) and the story was honestly very predictable. but it was funny and sweet and well written for the most part.

trapped - sally bryan ⭐️⭐️⭐️ now this is lesbian enemies to lovers... but it wasn’t great. seriously, the speed at which they went from hating each other and maligning each other to declaring their ilus was ridiculous. i know the premise is that they were in a life altering situation, but come on. :/ that said, this book was a giant ‘cuddling for warmth’ trope and i was here for it.

orlando - virginia woolf ⭐️⭐️⭐️ one of those classics that i wish i liked better than i do. and i mean i do like it. but it moved so slowly in the beginning, i was so impatient for the gender stuff and the queer stuff to start happening. things picked up when they did, and i adore virginia woolf’s writing, i did soooooo much bookmarking... but idk, just never got immersed in the story. this would benefit from a second read, but idk if i’ll ever drum up the patience to do so.

the horse mistress chronicles - r.a. steffan ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a poly romance series set in a fantasy world against the backdrop of an invasion by a larger empire. the main character is a gender fluid horse tamer who falls in love with a eunuch werewolf priest and the strongest warrior in her tribe, and the story follows the course of their triad relationship and their personal developments and the war. i feel like it had a serious pacing problem, especially near the beginning, wrt how quickly i was asked to believe that they fell in love. the world building, while good, fell flat very often. i left the series satisfied, but also kinda underwhelmed.

too bad about your girl - saranna dewylde ⭐️⭐️⭐️ short story, f/f friends to lovers. cute, and i knew what i was getting into with a short story, but as soon as it ended i wanted more. they were solid characters, and i felt like a bigger story could be told about them! but it was still cute.

the music of what happens - bill konigsberg ⭐️⭐️⭐️ m/m ya romance that made me kinda... eh. bill konigsberg is one of those ya authors who always gets recommended but idk that i’m a fan of his style of writing. this had an unbelievable premise, very little chemistry, an irritating passage against ~~~pc culture~~~ and a scene involving forced exercise that made me very uncomfortable. but it was well meaning and the characters were cute. the narrators saved this for me.

truth will out - k.c. wells ⭐️⭐️ m/m murder mystery romance that was very sweet... but a pretty bad mystery! i figured it out so fast! and as i am NOT particularly clever or any kind of sleuth... :/ yeah. it’s always a bummer when you find out whodunnit miles before it’s revealed. especially annoying in this case because the author made it obvious by having EVERYONE BE A POTENTIAL SUSPECT... except the guy who ended up doing it lol. the romance part was nice tho.

good to know - d.w. marchwell ⭐️ a romance novel about a gay cowboy adopting his nephew and falling in love with his nephew’s new teacher should be really cute, right? alas, this was bad. constant pov switching, meh writing, ridic sex scenes, entire conversations in different languages and characters who were frankly unlikable. skip this.

kaiju maximus(r) - kai ashante wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a short story by one of my faaaaaaavourite writers that i read in an anthology years ago; had an urge to read it again. in a post apocalyptic world, a mighty hero and her family search out a new threat. told from the husband’s POV with kaw’s beautiful beautiful prose. always a treat.

that’s it for september. it’ll be more of the same of october probably; lots of queer romance. currently reading poison kiss by ana mardoll.

[discountalien-pancake]

on sj/m’s Pinterest on her CC board she posted a picture of a white blonde girl with a big ass crown on her head looking off into the distance and I just fucking know she’s gonna have a new Super Special Powerful and Tough main character who is Not Like Other Girls and Everybody Loves Her even thought she is Deeply Damaged and goes through Peril And Hardship only to Fight Through It with the help of her Super Diverse Teammates and 1 Extremely Hot Male who Loves Only Her Unconditionally Babe :)

IM SORRY IM BACK BUT LIKE IN CC SHES GONNA BE STEALING FROM THE FUCKING BIBLE AND MAKING EVERYONE A FUCKING ANGEL/ASSASSIN/QUEEN/SHAPESHIFTER/FUCKINGALLPOWERFULGODDESS OR SMTHN AS A CHRISTIAN IM LITERALLY SICKENED WHY CANT SHE JUST MAKE HER OWN GODDAMN CHARACTERS FOR ONCE WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO STEAL AND COPY AND PASTE EVERYONE IM ENRAGED

“I can’t wait to introduce readers to Bryce, its heroine, who I think would be very good friends with Aelin and Feyre. The world of Crescent City is more modern than those in my previous series (basically, if the Court of Thorns and Roses and Throne of Glass worlds had modern-day technology), but it’s still chock full of magic, brooding warrior-types, and mysterious and deadly creatures.” SHE WILLINGLY CHOSE TO DESCRIBE IT AS THIS KMS IT’S EXACTLY LIKE EVERY SINGLE OTHER BOOK SHE’S WRITTEN

Heyo! So I went and scrolled back through the CCity board and I think this is the pic you’re talking about:

Which is weird and ironic because this looks like it should be Alien. Like it fits into T0G’s aesthetic perfectly because SJ/M has no concept of cohesive worldbuilding or originality. But yes, you’re so right about SJ/M writing Bruce into yet another Perfect And Beloved Female ProtagonistTM. I’m already predicting that Ron and Fury are going to be her sidekicks, possibly Juniper as well (but I think there’s a very good chance Juniper will either be her rival or the fridged best-friend). I also see Potluck being a potential point in a love-triangle, which is absolutely pointless because SJ/M has no grasp of how to create convincing romantic tension. Also I hate love triangles on principle. 

As for stealing from the Bible, I kind of have mixed opinions on this. Mess is apparently Jewish, which means she has a claim to Biblical mythology and it can’t really be considered appropriation. Add to that the fact that modern Christianity is built on a foundation of imperialism, and you end up with this huge body of mythology that in a way demands that people make references to or base stories on it. Lots of good stories have Christian mythology worked into them, in the same way that a lot of stories reference Greek and Roman mythology. SJ/M’s problem is that she does it badly. She’s using the fact that angel/demon stories have a built-in body of common knowledge and lots of rich imagery associated with them to avoid having to do the work of building the aesthetics and the mythos herself. That’s why her fae fall so flat--for fae to be interesting, they need to be inhuman, whimsical, sinister, haunting--and SJ/M fails in every regard. It’s not that she isn’t capable. There’s a few bits where she describes the lesser fae and they are convincingly otherworldly. But the high fae aren’t even elves. They’re literally just immortal humans with pointy ears and raging perma-boners.

And yes, I think SJ/M is running out of ideas, not that she had that many to begin with. You can see how quickly her work deteriorates as a series progresses. Also “still chock full of magic” my ass. The magic in her books is so forced and nonsensical that they’d be far better off if she just removed it completely, especially T0G. There’s not a single instance of magic that I can think of that is actually important or necessary. Even the wyrdkeys, which are in theory central to the plot, are kind of pointless. Like, orphaned princess raised as an assassin who finds her goal shifting from securing her personal freedom to liberating her people and others suffering beneath imperial rule--that’s a perfectly decent premise all on its own, if a bit generic. The addition of the magical superplot doesn’t make it any less generic. I kind of went off on a tangent there, but basically SJ/M is a lazy and unoriginal writer who likes to paint herself as some kind of virtuoso.

[comicteaparty]

June 14th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on June 14th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Obelisk by Ashley McCammon.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Obelisk by Ashley McCammon~! (http://www.obeliskcomic.com/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

The story has flowed so smoothly so far that it'd be hard for me to pick a certain scene as a favorite. I've really enjoyed the fluidity of the art, with it's beautiful backgrounds and very human seeming characters. Evie has been quite interesting to get to know so far and I'm looking forward to learning more about her as the story goes on.

Her hair has been particularly fascinating to me, I adore how it's drawn.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i appreciate how shes been drawn with a variety of hair styles and clothing. its one of those unnecessary details that can add a lot of life and make everything feel less like a video game.

but man the backgrounds. those are some heavily detailed backgrounds with a lot of love and care put into them and they really express the world so well

if i had to pick a favorite scene id pick when we meet margot. i really like the slight additions of red because something about the wispy way its drawn expressives a hint of...something sinister

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I really enjoyed that too, it also I think was the point where the real feel of the story came into play

and I think we really got a much better grasp on evie(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes though for eve's character i enjoyed the current page aftermath a bit more. if only cause i like that she kind of had a really human reaction to being told to butt out of things that weren't her business XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

oh yeah, for sure!

I'm really looking forward to seeing where the current story arc is heading(edited)

zestwitch

I love the whole comic so far but I gotta say the way the party scene was drawn is so memorable for me, the panel variation is so creatively done and makes each page feel so energetic

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I liked the scene where Eve was partly hung over and came into the kitchen and her brother regaled her with all the info off a casual remark. I think part of what made that stick too was realizing in the post-script how it was based on REAL history.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

the party scene was especially well done I thought too! Really captured the feeling of what being there would be like

zestwitch

The comic also has so many small details in the sidelines that make the world feel incredibly well rounded and rich like I can tell a ton of research was put into this and that makes me so much more excited about where it's going

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Speaking of how things are drawn, fascinating plan to really only have red be the outsider colour. Definitely makes certain things pop.

Yeah, I have no idea how much research was put into fashions and trends of the time period, but I have to imagine a ton.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah i've researched that time quite a bit and you can really tell that the creator put a lot of work into accuracy

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Speaking as someone who has almost zero knowledge of the time period, I find I can still appreciate it.

In modern day, they'd be all over that concussion issue from falling off a stool.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i liked eve being hung over too just because how it was draw i think had subtle details other comics dont really capture when its depicted. like just the way her face is like "what is life i hate this damn sun why am i awake."

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Interesting how it led into the flashback memories too.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh hey there

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey super~!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Glad to be here!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i thought it was interesting how the flashback memories were juxtaposed with that scene.

and how it transitioned to it

i also enjoy the hangover scene just cause i can relate to eve being partly aware of a thing but having no interest while the other person just rambles on passionately

and youre just like yeah okay

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That may also be part of why I liked it. ^.-

I wonder if we'll meet this Alice.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I really liked her hair and nightgown in the hang over scene

saetje

I agree the story flows so well it’s hard to pick a favorite scene- it’s also so early! But, if I’m honest? Margot’s introduction b/c dayyuuum

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

She did have a commanding presence.

saetje

my gay heart can’t handle her

I so appreciate all the research into costume and setting design as well! I simply adore period pieces so I appreciate the effort on that front

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Daww~

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic we meet an interesting cast of side characters, from Eve’s friends to the seemingly criminal Peter Murphy to Agostino. Was there any side character that caught your eye, and if so why? When it comes to Peter and Agostino, do you think we will be seeing more of them? If so, in what way? Will Agostino’s interaction with Margot affect him in some dire way? What do you think will happen if Eve meets Peter? Why do you think Eve isn’t fond of her brother’s new fiancée? Are there any other character details you think the comic might explore?

saetje

I really liked Agostino’s reaction to Margot, it’s so foreboding. I most definitely feel we’ll be seeing all the characters that have introduced so far, again. I must say the story so far has so seamlessly and entertainingly set up many relationships, varied characters, and intrigue to delve into that it’s exciting waiting for what comes next!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I admit, I'm curious about seeing Eve and Alice... wondering what it is she's not fond of, whether it's something about personality or just the way she dresses and talks to her brother...

saetje

I just feel like they’ve set up a lot of questions we want answered all wrapped up in a varied and entertaining cast

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Agostino may be all hypnotized now.

saetje

yeah it’s possible- going a sort of Renfield on us?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i do think weve got an interesting plate of characters going on here who are gonna have some future interesting and interactions with eve thatll take the story to unexpected places.

i really loved the way whatever happened to agostino was depicted

i can see why he freaked

though im really curious why only he was effected

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I do want to add in this story looks like it could be fun as a live action flick, seems like it could work

especially for it's early 1900's setting

saetje

I could see it adapted fairly well!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm pretty sure he was affected because it was his blood left behind when he moved the crate into the place initially. They've already got a sample of him.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Glad you agree, Saetje.

saetje

But the comic as the media for the story itself here is still done really well. I like how the author plays with visual narrative and panel flow

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea, it's done extremely well

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Interesting that the owners (possible vampires?) are into antiques. I'd figure it'd be something that they could collect more blood samples from.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

especially all the markerwork

saetje

Oh yeah. That was my take too, they already have some blood from him. But time will tell

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Though I guess if you've got all those children's toys left over from 300 years ago... ^.^

...Then again, they came overseas with only the one box. So idk.

Do you think all the sites being investigated are owned by the same group?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

To tie it back in, maybe that Peter guy is their broker.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

http://www.obeliskcomic.com/comic/chapter-1/p43/ OMG CUTE KID

Some quality family time. I hope everyone celebrating has a lovely holiday, and if not, I hope you have a lovely day anyway. I’ll see you all next week!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe it wasnt so much that it was a blood connection thing but in that the blood told margot hed been to the shop before and therefore wanted him to gtfo. since he helped with delivery.

on a different note i do want to say im in math's corner and super want to know why eve doesnt care for alice O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm pretty sure she was gtfo-ing him, but I still feel like it was through the blood somehow.

Related to what SJ posted, maybe it's because Eve helped to raise her brother, and doesn't like that the status quo is being messed with? Though Alice could also be real shallow, who knows.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Perhaps

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe Alice is also a vampire!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that could be. and again could just be personality. maybe alice just tried to get eve to do lots of thing eve wasnt comfortable with in an attempt to bond. or maybe alice aggressively tries to set eve up with ppl

the mystery increases!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

The town is going to be completely taken over by vampires. Eve will be the only real woman left.

It's like that old tv show about the pod people.

draculing

(I will confirm or deny nothing but I love seeing everyone's thoughts and theories so far )

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hey there!

Pleased to see ya!

saetje

Welcome! Thanks for the lovely comic

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

And thank you as well~

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Hihi draculing! I like tossing out crazy theories, don't worry about me.

draculing

Hi~ I'm in and out a bit but it's good to be here

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also omg Marghot looks so handsome~

draculing

The comic is still so early on its cool to see that people are already guessing at stuff

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thanks for being here draculing~!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Eve will win Margot's heart by teaching her to ride a bicycle.

draculing

And yes Margot is the Most handsome

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

She is and I love her (edited)

Everything about her looks and personality(edited)

she's so(edited)

dandy

draculing

She's a lady ;D

saetje

Yeah Margot is actually I was under the impression Margot is female? Or they-them?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Well that's not the first time I'vewgotten my genders confused

draculing

Margot is a butch woman, dw i definitely get that a lot

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lmao

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Heh. Probably the pants, I don't think ladies wore them much, but I know little to nothing of the time period.

saetje

Ok well I love Margot as I’ve said throughout this chat UM I can’t wait for vampire intrigue romance adventures

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

heehee~

And I made it to the end of the story so far

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I get the vibe that Eve is into the ladies. The way she blushes sometimes, and is upset about not being married herself yet.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It sure has come a long way since it first started~

saetje

I... completely read Eve as queer? She also hangs out with a cast of LGBT folks yes?

draculing

They wore pants (or bloomers like eve's bike pants) if they were doing sports or being tomboyish but it was still pretty rare and not looked on fondly

Actual men's clothing was not a thing for women yet except for in theater/music halls

saetje

Er- that being what her friend circle is/the party scene as about

draculing

Or yknow... gay circles

Yeah pretty much!

saetje

I appreciate all the research you’ve done into period clothing and setting!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh really?

saetje

I really love horror/romance time periods and I love seeing all the different props and outfits

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Cool about the info. I'd ship Eve and Alice, just to be contrary, except we know they don't get along. Unless... that's just what they want others to think. (edited)

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I was actually about to ask how much you researched 1900's/1910's society and such

draculing

I wanted to establish that Eve has a social circle of other queer people and they aren't miserable or self hating

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

ooohhhh

saetje

I really appreciated the party scene tbh

draculing

Cuz thats all we ever get from historical settings usually

With lgbt characters

saetje

Yes!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

LGBT characters are always welcome

saetje

As a queer person it meant a lot to me

draculing

Yeah its really personal to me and I'm glad it resonates!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm pro-LGBT to the end.

saetje

Because I love time period pieces but so many gay romances or lgbt characters are so depressing in that setting. I enjoyed that Eve has a friend group that celebrated themselves and seemed happy

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. As Eve hunts down a lost property, she runs into the mysterious shop owner Margot who somehow bought one of her father’s properties. Who exactly is Margot do you think? Why do you think Margot has moved into the property now of all times, and why do you think Margot chose to run an antiques store? Why do you think Margot was so defensive about Eve’s questions (despite there being simpler, more polite answers as Eve points out)? Do you think Eve will continue to interrogate Margot for information, and do you think she will succeed? Do you think it’s even safe for Eve to interact with Margot given what happened to Agostino? Do you have any other theories about Margot?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Margot is secretly a werewolf.

saetje

And I think it (the party scene) was a nice way to set up Eve as queer, it was, to me, obvious her preferences after the party scene without being voyeuristic or over the top of that makes sense? Just enough.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Seriously though, she must be part of some syndicate or something. To get that shop set up in so little time.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I have a feeling it may have something to do with that ring.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Or the djinn/genie inside it.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

If it's not her well-sculpted legs

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Or those of the djinn/genie.

So, actually, it's probably a bloodstone or something. I wonder if Eve will research.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe.

I never thought "bloodstone"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Actually.... is it possible that Margot or her syndicate killed Eve's father in the first place?

saetje

I get the feeling there’s going to be some romantic Margot/Eve back and forth and I look forward to that, but I think ultimately Margot will be dangerous- or at least as it’s set up now, every storytelling sign points foreboding when it comes to Margot(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"Sign over this property. Good, excellent. Oh no, you fell down a flight of stairs."

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i feel like if they were responsible theyd know he was dead and not have the reaction that was had over it.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

Thankfully he lived

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Well, we only know Margot's reaction.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i definitely forsee eve pestering margot more. cause im willing to bet shes either 1) going to run into a dead end making margot her only option for answers or 2) shes gonna find peter and peter is going to make her super duper suspicious by saying things like "you dont want to know nun ya business."

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"I'm not a nun!"

Eve strikes me as the type who might lurk outside the place to see if other leads show up. That could make Margot decide to just tell her stuff to get rid of her, since "just go away" failed.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

oh i hope eve comes back and is like "im here to buy something you cant kick me out."

but yeah. margot is....isnt doing a good job of making her go away. there were so many better answers then the shifty eye nun ya business XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That would be a clever way of doing things too. "The customer is always right." To be fair, Margot was pretty nice up front too, remarking on how she should have heard someone come in... it's only the details of how they got the place that seems to have vexed her.

saetje

Maybe she WANTS Eve to come back I feel like Margot knows how to throw a line and reel em in with intrigue and mystery

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also, did Margot arrive in the box? Or was she simply hired to deal with some other dude who now lives upstairs who is a vampire? Maybe SHE'S under control, thanks to the ring. And Eve frees her from the evil spell.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe

The personality seems to hit at it

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"Only a kiss can save me from this vampire ring."

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i assume margot was in the box. i think margot is too commanding of a presence to be someone elses mindslave.

and thats true

it could be margot wants eve to come back

alternatively maybe margot hires peter and peter tells eve its in her best interest to stay away or something might happen to her brothers fiancee O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

There is that, or at least not be taken in quite as quickly as seems to have been the case.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and eve will be like "great good thing i dont like alice"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"You don't want to kiss me? Oh, I guess I'll simply have to get Alice to do it..." "You wouldn't dare."

Eve's brother walks in and is all, uhhhhhh....

saetje

I get the feeling it’s going to be Hattie/Eve

I felt like that was hinted at too in the party scene?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That's possible. I admit I'm bad for the names, as usual.

Also, I like going for the improbable ships.

saetje

Hattie is the blond friend who took her to the party and there was a panel where it was like their hands almost touched/had been holding and left etc. just feels like it’s possible we might have a romance starting with Eve and Hattie with Margot in there messing it up. But again- so early rn hard to make predictions!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Makes sense... was she the one who opened the old wine?

saetje

Yes I think so!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

'kk.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i would like to see more of hattie before i put my eggs in that basket. i feel of all the friends she was the one i feel most distant from sadly :"D even though i thought her design was snazzy

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, it could be a one way relationship there.

Maybe that's why Eve hasn't been hanging with them as much...? I think that was implied.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe although i assumed its cause shes still not quite over her father's death

grief does take time

QUESTION 4. As we learn from Eve, some documents on her father’s properties seem to be missing. Further, he seemed to know possible criminal Peter Murphy and mysterious Margot. Why and how do you think Eve’s father got involved with such people? Was it blackmail, some sort of under the table charity, or something else? Do you think his co-worker Alex knew about the dealings, or was it something private to Eve’s father? If it’s the latter, why do you believe he’d keep it a secret? Do you think Margot’s shop is the only missing property, or do you suspect Eve might find even more? Even if Eve finds the answers to all these questions, do you think she can or would do anything about the situation? Lastly, do these missing properties have anything to do with her father being dead?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Right, that's a good point too. Though you'd think that you'd want others to help console you.

Her father was apparently really good with records and bookkeeping. Maybe he was doing some work on the side that turned out to be shadier than he thought... the flashback seemed to imply that they might have had money troubles. What with Dad not being able to pay the nanny enough wages to keep her on.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

could be. it was implied in that scene that he was also a single father too at that point right?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It was, yes. Maybe the mother died in childbirth?

So Dad took on shady business deals to help make ends meet. Probably why he sold off properties and kept it all locked in that box.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that seems very plausible for how he got involved. albeit alternatively, maybe thats why they have money troubles

is that he was secret selling properties for a low cost and had to cover it up so it wouldnt be discovered

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

True, hard to say which came first. Oh, that's a good theory.

Maybe Peter knows him... just went into business for himself after the death...

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe so.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

peter and the dad were clearly best friends from primary O_O

im curious about his death cause i feel like it must have been unexpected? cause he certainly didnt clean up his affairs. in the sense that ya know he never said "eve by the way i sold some properties to vampires. surprise."

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, that's a good point. Things were left in something of a disarray at the business too.

Interesting how his daughter has been able to take over.

"She has a ... STAKE, in the business."

draculing

(Re: research question way earlier, I have a lot of 1900s fashion catalogue reprints and PDFs of 1890s-1900s sears catalogues!! I love.. clothing as personality.. so details are important to me)

Lmao niceee

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh wow, nifty. Is that part of why it's been set in the States, like that's where the catalogues are from?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh nice!

That sounds like a good way to get research, all those old catalogues~

Make sure you keep em safe! I bet they'd be considered collectables in this day and age.

draculing

Nah I'm just from New Jersey ;; i grew up going into NYC and went to school there so I have a big attachment to the history and feel of it

Aw i dont have anything original sadly, it would be real cool if i did

saetje

I own a few Edwardian sears catalogues too and it’s such a treasure trove tbh. As I’ve said, I appreciate all the detail you’ve put into your costume and setting design. Every character’s clothing choices really does say something strong about them

draculing

Its also a good setting for like.. the immigration/othering themes often attached to vampire stories

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Aah

and yea that's understandable

saetje

Ohh that’s a cool take

draculing

It's not at the forefront of the narrative but each character's sort of.. class and life situation is involved in their design and that plays into it

Hopefully I'm not derailing the convo too much by jumping back to that!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That makes sense. Nope, just thinking theories over here.

Alice is secretly behind everything.

saetje

yeah we’re mostly just speculating based off what we have so far, it’s nice to get insight into the creation a bit!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

nah your fine.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Seconding saetje

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I was also trying to think about when the New York World's Fair was, but it was like, 1939, so never mind. I don't know historical details.

draculing

I've had a lot of stuff where I've realized "wait this hasn't happened yet how weird"

Like... the titanic sinking

If my comic hits 1910 will it address that? We just don't know

*1912

saetje

is there anything like prop wise you’ve wanted to put in and then had to go “oh wait. Not invented yet”

draculing

Ohhh yeah for sure

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Sliced bread?

saetje

Because I imagine there’s so many little things we take for granted now that they didn’t have back then

draculing

Or like.. finding references for very specific things??

saetje

Haha the bread point was too powerful

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Napples likes the historical bread.

draculing

Like "what does a cereal box in 1908 look like"

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm curious now too lol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Gotta watch out for cereal killers.

draculing

Its little stuff that gets you

A lot of finding the closest approximation and then winging it like "hopefully some big history expert won't swoop in and yell at me"

The historical fiction police

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Heehee

Gotta keep all your facts 100% authentic

(and accurate)

draculing

It's a worry even though probably no one minds at all

saetje

Because vampires sure are real ha but I get it! You really want that authentic feel

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea All that matters is your readers have a good time and enjoy the story(edited)

saetje

But yeah unless someone is just being pedantic I don’t think you’re going to get mobbed for a small historical mistake

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Anyways seems like we're heading into the final minute of the CTP

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf tho does happen. historical fiction police do tear things apart but theyre in the minority. i think you do a really great job and pay more attention to detail than a lot of other historical fiction ive seen.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I don't notice such things at least. I enjoyed it.

Including the hairstyle, just to circle us all the way back. Nice crazy hair.

draculing

it's very cool and encouraging to see all your ideas about what's going on

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Anyways, thanks for the comic, Drac~! It was a fun read and I hope it grows nice and strong.

saetje

Fair fair. I just think people who call out details like that on indie creators are lame

draculing

Thank you for reading it!

saetje

And yeah! It’s a gorgeous comic!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

saetje

I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Me neither~(edited)

draculing

Can't believe we already spoiled that Margot is definitely a werewolf, the whole time

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Ashley McCammon, as well, for making Obelisk and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Ashley McCammon’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Fate by Anthea West. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on June 21st from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://www.fatecomic.com/

[megalony]

Teacher’s Pet- Part 9

Here is the new part for my dad! Ben Hardy series which I hope everyone is enjoying, the feedback for this series has been lovely thank you all for the comments.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog​ @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae​ @k-k0129​

Series masterlist

Summary: Gwilym sets Ben up on a date with (Y/n) who teaches at the school Ben’s kids go to. But Ben is hesitant in the relationship, desperate not to make the same mistakes and needing to put his kids first.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What, so you just leave him awake?" (Y/n) leaned her head to the side as she looked over at Ben in curiosity and slight confusion.

"It's... he's not a baby anymore. When he was a baby or a toddler I could lay him on my chest and I'd fall asleep and eventually he would too, he was always with me when he was a kid. Now he's older I can't lay with him because I fall asleep and he either draws on me, he'll sit up and watch tv whilst I sleep or he tries to play games or read. If I leave him he lays awake and lulls himself to sleep."

When Carter was born he would lay on Ben's chest and fall asleep and when he was a toddler Ben hated leaving him to sleep at night on his own. So he would either lay him in bed with him or sit Carter on his chest and put him to bed when he eventually fell asleep.

Now Ben couldn't do that every night and he had Finn who he had to calm down and put to sleep and keep getting up to see. Carter had to learn to try and get himself to sleep because he was getting older now.

"What if he doesn't sleep or he gets up and watches tv in his room?"

"I've programmed his tv to lock him out when it gets past ten o'clock so he can't watch or play anything and if he goes downstairs I usually wake up and hear him. I'm a light sleeper with them three in the house. He'll lay in bed and try and sleep and if he can't, normally he will just lay and rest and think or maybe read a book which I don't mind as much."

Ben knew Carter couldn't help what time he went to sleep, it only bothered Ben if Carter tried to stay awake and watch movies or play games or keep his mind active. But if he just laid down and chilled or tried to relax and calm down then Ben was happy. If it was a particularly bad night Ben didn't mind him reading because Carter got headaches easily from reading and he couldn't read for over an hour which was a godsend at night.

"What about James and Finn then?" (Y/n) leaned her head on Ben's shoulder as she pulled the cover a little higher over them both. All the boys were now in bed and she and Ben were in his bed watching a random movie on tv. It was ten o'clock now but since it was Sunday tomorrow they could all have a lie in. The weekends were good because when Carter eventually fell asleep Ben would leave him in bed until he either woke up or Ben woke him up late morning.

One time Carter didn't go to sleep until five in the morning so Ben left him in bed until dinner time because he needed the sleep.

"James is fine, he'll sleep through the night no problems. With Finn it's up and down, if he's been anxious all day he'll wake up during the night so I either stay awake or set an alarm to check on him during the night. If he's not been too bad during the day he might have a good night. If he wakes up crying I'll go to him but if he panics he'll come in here, I told him it's fine to come in even if you're here and asleep."

Ben had a rough time sleeping because of the boys.

He was a light sleeper ever since Carter was a baby but it was worse now, even the slightest noise woke him up during the night. Ben woke up to check on Carter at around one in the morning, then he checked on Finn, sometimes he set an alarm to check on them both at three in the morning then he was normally up by six. If Carter was up and messing about Ben woke up and stayed awake with him and if Finn woke up screaming or crying Ben settled him back down to sleep and usually kept Finn in his room with him to make the youngest boy feel safe.

Ben only got a proper night's sleep when the boys were at his parent's house or if it was just him and James at home, but he didn't mind as long as they all got some sleep.

The tv started to blur into the background and Ben was close to turning the tv off but he felt (Y/n) jump beside him when the bedroom door burst open. Ben was used to all the boys running in and out whenever they liked, it made him want to get a lock on the bedroom door but Carter would break it and Finn would sit and have a panic attack.

A sigh passed through Ben's lips and he looked at the door to see Carter all but run into the room and bound over to Ben's side of the bed.

"Can I watch tv with you please? Dad I'm not tired, can I, you said we can have a lie in tomorrow."

(Y/n) noticed the way Carter glanced over at her a few times but he didn't glare or smile, he looked indifferent like she was either not there at all or didn't make a difference and she didn't know how to feel about that. She also noticed the way he was trying not to rush through his words and that suggested he was rather hyper at the moment.

"It's past ten, you need to go to bed."

"I'm not tired, daddy please-"

"You're never tired and you're not staying in here buddy, you need to go and calm down and try to sleep. I'll come sit with you for a bit if you want." Ben sighed as he glanced between (Y/n) and Carter for a few seconds. Carter was hyper and he was either going to try and sneak downstairs to watch tv, try and play games or just sit and be very hyper for the night. Ben was going to have to try and calm him down before he let Carter try and get to sleep on his own.

"Why don't I come and sit with you?" (Y/n) looked at Ben for approval before she looked back at Carter whose eyes narrowed before widening but his expression didn't really change. He looked indifferent yet uncertain, he didn't know how to interpret this or how to act so he was trying to be neutral.

(Y/n) was going on instinct on how to act around Carter, Ben raised him and had learned Carter's ways and his expressions and tones of voice, (Y/n) was trying to navigate through them. She thought sitting with him might help to get him used to her being around and able to talk to her and it would help her to try and bond with him if he allowed her to sit with him.

"Buddy, is that okay?"

Carter nodded and they could both hear his foot tapping against the floor impatiently before Ben motioned for him to go and (Y/n) would follow but before (Y/n) got up Ben gently took her hand.

"Talking to Jamie's unsettled him, that's why he's hyper. He thinks it's good that she called and she's gonna keep calling but she won't and deep down he knows that. He's hyper because he isn't comfortable about this and that means he might be rude or snap at you because that's how he thinks he has to react. Don't take anything he says to heart."

Ben didn't want (Y/n) to go and sit with Carter and then feel upset or uncomfortable if he became rude or unsettled and snapped at her or even if he said something he knew would rile (Y/n) up. Carter became very hyperactive and very uneasy when Jamie called because it disturbed his routine and his mood. He thinks he has to be rude and be hurtful when he feels unsettled because that's how he feels he should act but he didn't mean it and (Y/n) had to know that before she went and talked to him.

"Okay." (Y/n) smiled warmly and leaned over to kiss him before she got up and went into Carter's room.

Because Carter was awake most of the night almost every night, he couldn't share a room with James or Finn and when Carter got angry he definitely couldn't be in a room with them in case he snapped and lashed out at his brothers. Having James in the room made Finn feel calmer especially at night if he had a nightmare and James was always in a deep sleep so when Finn woke up crying or upset or just from a nightmare, James didn't get woken up.

Ben could feel his eyes growing heavy but the longer he felt like he was about to give in to sleep, the more he realised that (Y/n) had been quite a while sitting with Carter and Ben didn't know how to take that. Either they were engaged in conversation which could be both good or bad, or Carter was very hyper and (Y/n) didn't want to leave him or didn't know what to do.

With a sigh, Ben pushed himself up and out of bed and slowly made his way out of the room and across to Carter's room. He didn't want to barge in if everything was going okay because he really didn't want to check up on them both but he couldn't help it. Since the door was open a little, Ben pushed it a tiny bit more and leaned his head around the door to peek into the room.

Carter's room was the box room since he couldn't share with either of his brothers. His bed was on the right hand side of the room with the window opposite the door and a tv behind the door at the end of the bed. Carter had a lot of video games in his room because he didn't like playing his games with anyone but Ben, not even with his brothers. And he had a few sensory toys for when he was upset or had a tantrum or needed something to do to entertain himself. It surprised Ben that Carter didn't mind having the smallest room but the compact space didn't bother him, it seemed to suit him rather well.

He felt safer rather than boxed in.

Ben felt a shock wave of surprise ebbing through him when he looked at (Y/n) and Carter. He assumed they would both be sitting up on the bed chatting or reading a book or maybe even having an argument or (Y/n) trying to calm Carter down from a hyper state. But instead of anything like that, what Ben saw was (Y/n) laid under the covers with Carter huddled under her arm curled into her side. (Y/n) was very slowly and methodically carding her fingers through Carter's hair like she was soothing him to sleep.

Carter's eyes were half-lidded and he looked the calmest Ben had seen him today and seemed to be on the verge of sleep already but he was trying to make the effort of keeping the very quiet conversation going.

(Y/n) stopped talking for a moment when her eyes locked with Ben when she noticed him hovering in the doorway, not wanting to intrude but unable to draw his eyes away from the scene in front of him.

She thought it would have been hard to get Carter to talk to her but he was very talkable and he wasn't trying to be rude or annoying or make (Y/n) feel uncomfortable. He genuinely just wanted to talk and when he asked (Y/n) to lay with him she couldn't refuse. Carter quickly burrowed himself under her arm like he was taking refuge and cuddled into her side, he wanted nothing more than closeness and to be comfortable and talk to (Y/n) and she found it endearing yet rather heartbreaking.

Carter wanted another figure in his life, he wanted a motherly figure because he couldn't have his own mother and he was seeking that from (Y/n) because she was the closest thing he had to a mother right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) felt like a knife had gone straight through her heart that was doing somersaults in her chest when a scream hit her ears and tore her from her sleep. She shot up beside Ben who was already sitting up and ready to throw the cover off his frame and run out the room. They both locked eyes for a moment before another sound that resembled a growl and a cry hit their ears and (Y/n) realised Ben was confused.

"That's Carter..."

(Y/n) didn't know how to respond to that but she could see that this wasn't normal. Ben always woke up to Finn crying out for him or running into the room unable to breathe or Finn even screamed in his sleep, but it was very rare that Carter was the one screaming and crying or having a nightmare because he hardly slept. Even (Y/n) had been expecting to wake up to Finn being the one in distress needing to be calmed down during the night. She didn't think or even consider James or Carter having a nightmare.

"Does this normally happen?" (Y/n) got out of bed when Ben jumped to his feet the moment Carter let out another cry that seemed to shake the walls of the house.

"That depends if he's been asleep. He's either having a meltdown or he's having a nightmare and either way this is Jamie's fucking fault. When she left he always had nightmares and she's unsettled him now."

Carter suffered from nightmares since he was little after Jamie left because he had to adjust to living Ben and James and James' mum. Then it was just him Ben and James and that uneased him more because both mother figures had left his life. Then when Lucy came and left and Finn came into the picture he was even more unsettled because he didn't have Ben's undivided attention. Carter needed stability and Jamie was the opposite of that, she unsettled him and made him feel uncomfortable and upset and that unbalanced his world.

Ben hurried into Carter's room as he prayed that he could calm down his eldest before Finn heard and started to panic but when he went in he was scared at what he was faced with. The ten year old was curled up in the middle of the bed with the cover pulled very tight over his whole body making him a covered up ball in the bed. If the cover was thrown on the floor or strewn about the bed then Ben would know Carter was having a nightmare but the way he was hiding himself showed he was having a meltdown.

When a violent scream tore from Carter's lips and he seemed to curl in on himself more, Ben hurriedly moved over and sat down on the bed near to the pillow. He wanted to reach out and pull Carter into an embrace but he knew from experience that trying to hug him when he was like this might make him worse.

"Baby... baby you know you can't lay like this." Ben slowly peeled back the cover from Carter's head so he wasn't at risk of smothering himself but the moment Ben uncovered Carter's head he lashed out and smashed his hand into the wall with a cry. "Okay come on." Ben kept the cover wrapped tightly around Carter's arms and hands like mittens before he gently pulled Carter into his chest.

He kissed Carter's head before wrapping an arm around him when he tried to lash out and started to get frustrated when the cover prevented him from moving. His legs kicked out and his arms started to thrash and Ben could see his hands fisting in the cover he wanted to rip off his body but he couldn't and it only made him scream louder.

"Does mum want me?" Carter's words were quiet and broken and he even dared to open his eyes to look up at Ben but the look he got back was an answer enough.

"Baby... she misses you and I know she loves you, but she doesn't want to be in your life right now. I'm sorry." Ben couldn't say it. He couldn't force himself to say that Jamie didn't want Carter even though that was true, she may miss him and she may love him but she didn't love or miss him enough and she didn't want to care for him or be in his life because she couldn't cope with him. That was her fault and her loss and it made Ben dismiss her as a mother, she didn't deserve to be called a mother if she wasn't willing to look after her own son.

The scream Carter let out was almost unbearable for (Y/n) who was hovering in the doorway so she couldn't even begin to wonder how that felt for Ben to hear. No child should have to deal with the fact that one parent didn't want them, especially not a child who needed stability and extra care and more understanding like Carter. But the extra care and attention he needed was exactly why he didn't have Jamie around anymore.

"Shh, shh you're okay, you have me and you have James and Finn and nan and grandad and you've got uncle Gwil and (Y/n). So many people love you, it's okay that your mum isn't around because you don't need her baby."

Carter let out a very loud wail when Ben slipped his hands under Carter's arms so he could pick him up and sit him on his lap with the cover still cocooned around him to make sure he didn't hurt himself or Ben. But despite the cries and screams continuously leaving Carter's lips, Ben and (Y/n) both noticed he was looking over at (Y/n) a lot.

"Do you want me?"

(Y/n)'s eyes widened in their sockets and she felt her lungs shrivelling up in her chest until she couldn't breathe. Her vision blurred from the tears welling up in her eyes but that didn't distort the image of Carter staring back at her. His eyes were red and puffy, they were streaming with tears that fell down his bright red cheeks and his nose was running. He looked very angry yet scared and vulnerable but the way he looked at her made (Y/n) speechless.

He wasn't looking indifferent like he did earlier, he wasn't angry with her or at her, he wasn't snarling or about to scream at her. For the first time, he looked desperate. He looked desperate for her love and attention and if she said no to his question he might just explode.

Carter stopped screaming, he stopped letting out heart-wrenching sobs and he wasn't thrashing around to try and hurt himself or lash out. He was breathing heavily through his runny nose and his eyes were intent on (Y/n) as he tensed, waiting very impatiently for her answer. Ben had never seen his son so intent on an answer like this, nor had he sat so still and waited like this rather than scream for her to speak. Carter really wanted (Y/n) to love and want him.

(Y/n) took a few cautious steps over until she could sit down in front of Carter on the bed and she watched the way he stopped breathing when she gently brushed a few tears from his cheek.

"Yes I do honey, I don't know your mum or why she doesn't want to be involved in your life but I do."

(Y/n) almost jumped when Carter wriggled in Ben's arms but instead of crying he let out a whine until Ben carefully let go of him and le Carter wriggle out of the cover. He scrambled over until he could clamber onto (Y/n)'s lap, he locked his arms around (Y/n)'s neck to the point it hurt but she stayed silent, not wanting to upset him. She wrapped her arm around his back and tangled her other hand in his hair to try and calm him down and make sure he was okay.

"Y-you can be my mum, c-can't you? I want a mum." Carter mumbled the words into (Y/n)'s neck and she could feel his harsh breaths despite the fact he was trying his best to calm down.

(Y/n) looked over at Ben for confirmation, she didn't want to say yes and have Ben be upset or uneasy about it but she didn't want to say no and have Carter become unsettled again. If he wanted to think of her as his mum surely that wasn't a bad thing because (Y/n) was in a relationship with Ben and Carter needed the stability and it meant he was fine with their relationship and with (Y/n). It also wasn't so bad because it wasn't like it would be with Finn, Carter knew (Y/n) wasn't actually his mum but he wanted her to be anyway. With Finn if he started calling (Y/n) his mum in a few years he could actually believe it because he was so young and impressionable.

There were tears in Ben's eyes and he was biting his lip hard to stop himself from getting overwhelmed just like Carter. Ben knew with James' mum she didn't want to be seen as a mum to Carter and that hurt but Ben had to understand that Carter was hard to deal with and he couldn't expect her to take Carter on as her own. With Finn's mum she tried with both boys but Ben was overwhelmingly happy she didn't connect with them in case she had ended up hurting them too.

He never thought he would be with someone who would be willing and who would actually connect with all three of his boys. But she was already joined at the hip with James, Finn was growing closer to her every day and a lot quicker than he got closer to other people. And Carter was the hardest to get to know and feel easy around but here (Y/n) was, connecting with Carter so good that he was desperate to feel like she was his mother.

When Ben managed to nod at (Y/n) to say whatever she felt was right, (Y/n) could feel her own eyes glossing with tears.

"I'd love to be your mum."

[piddies0709]

Walking on Glass A little SJ fandom rant

Wow.... How about that new episode of Samurai Jack? Pretty trippy right? I mean, that part where he eats something and his head turns into a fish. Like how dose that work exactly? Pretty funny, huh? Heh...heh...heh... Where do I begin? So happen was, last night was the premiere of the new Samurai Jack season 5 episode 8, in which Jack and Ashi are making their way across the desert. Hmm... Why dose this sound familiar? Anyway, during their ride on a giant camel monster used as a bus, Jack and Ashi find themselves in a pretty close to each other and it is that this point where they're relationship takes quite a turn. During their journey, they come across a large spaceship to escape a dust storm. Only to find out that the ship is still infested by a leach monster. After they finally defeat it, at the heat of the moment Jack and Ashi then make out and that when the “fans” starting setting fire to their insides. 

 I said I was gonna get back to the messy subject and the hail storm of raging “fans” that apparently this episode has brought upon. After reading through a number of these hissy-fit heated debates, I couldn't help but laugh at a few, roll my eyes at most and have the rest cause me to put my hands in my face. Seriously, all it took was a kiss and some awkward but sweet bonding moments for people to get up in arms saying crap like “They ruined the show!” “How could you Genndy?” “The show's gone downhill.” And those are just some of the less visceral comments I've seen.... It really makes me sad. It really makes me sad to see a show I loved as a kid, get second chance at finishing it's story and the one tiny moment that wasn't even remotely negative in any way, would then cause such a shit storm, that I have to sit back and wonder why did I have to be born as a human being... Oh am I sounding bit harsh here? *eh-hem* I suppose some would prefer it if I went back to my dark little corner of the internet and remain silent like I usually do. Heck No! I feel I should be aloud to express my own opinion, while setting somethings straight. (Pun not intended.) Now, I will not be completely demonizing people who are against this ship, because some do have a few valid points as to why they don't like it or this episode and thats understandable. I'm not saying you have to like it. Again it's all matter of choice and opinion. (get use to hearing that.) But! What I am irritated by is how people are practicality screaming out things like “Pedophile” “Forced” “Rushed” “Poorly Written” “Not gay equals bad” “Boy-cot” and other things that are just... Really really stupid... So I may has well give you guys my own two cents here. I don't expect to change any minds here; just take what I say with a grain of salt. You have plenty of it, anyway...

“Jack and Ashi should have been platonic. Like father and daughter.”

The moment I was first introduced to Ashi in episode 1, I knew she was going to play some important roll in the new season. I knew she was going to be some kind of ally to Jack. She wasn't a mindless drown like her sisters. She was curious about the world. Now keep in mind, from the beginning, I wasn't automatically shipping these two. I knew a bond was gonna form between them eventually, but I really didn't know what type of relationship it was gonna be, nor did I care. Yes, it didn't really matter to me, father/daughter, teacher/student, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever! All I cared about was seeing these two lost souls find happiness in one another. They make a great team already, so no matter which way it was gonna go, I was going to be satisfied either way. Being the gray smudge that I am, I kept an open mind about this. I'm not a big crack shipper anyway. Then again I don't get into ships that much because I know how scary they can be. So thats why I stick with pairings that are canon and that I like. But I'm sure that this might be one of the reasons why people were a upset by this. They were really hoping for that platonic relationship. Sorry, don't know what tell you there. Not everything in a show is gonna go your way. This is what Genndy wanted, but just because you didn't agree with it, doesn't mean you should be flat out calling it bad writing and hate the rest of the series for it!  I'll get into the pacing issues later, right now it's time to adress the elephant in the room...

“Jack's too old for Ashi and Ashi's a little girl!”

Yes, time is a BIG issue in this series and I can understand the problem some “fans” are having with the whole age gap thing. Like he should be really old by this point, but heres the thing. Jack doesn't age. He's still stuck in his 20's psychically AND mentally. Yes, I said mentally as well. His mind is worn out but not old. Like Jack said, time has lost it's a effect on him. As for Ashi, I'm almost more than certain that she's in her 20's as well. The real problem shouldn't be the fact that he's older than her. The REAL problem should be the fact that he can't age but she still can. Really, I'm surprised nobody's getting more mad with Aku about this, since, you know? He's the one responsible for this whole issue in the first place. Whats more annoying though, is the fact that this has become the main and almost only reason “fans” have for not liking this pairing! I mean come on! I can go on for why Edward and Bella are a bad couple, not just because he's a hundred years old, but also because despite being a hundred he still goes to high school for some reason, acts like a creep around Bella, calls her his personal brand of heroine (and how much he wants to eat her.) breaks into her room to watch her sleep at night and throws her against the wall. Yet she does absolutely nothing about it and still acts so dependent on him like she can't stand on her own two feet! * hem* Getting a off topic, I should also point out that this is not the first time we've seen a fictional couple where one person is way older than the other. It's been done many times in media. Aragon and Arwen, Rose and Greg, Aang and Katara, Inuyasha and Kagome and nobody bats an eye there. But I know you're probably going make excuses as to why I'm wrong for comparing some these couples to Jack and Ashi. “Uh, but Rose isn't even human! She's a gem and they don't age!” Still doesn't change the fact that she's still thousands of years older than him. What does being a rock- I'm sorry, a Mineral not a rock, have to do with her age? And that can go the same for Arwen and Inuyasha as well. “But-but Aang was frozen in a sphere of ice.” Yeah, keeping him persevered for over a hundred something years thus delaying his ability to age until he was set free and why he's still twelve. Even though technically speaking he was born way before Katara was born. Hell, I could dare say that Jack is in his own sphere of ice. Just not literally. Time and age have stopped round him. Thing is, even with out the fifty year time-skip Jack would still be considered thousands of years old since he comes from feudal era Japan. So no matter what girl he ended up with in this future, he would still be way older than her regardless. The more I hear this excuse brought up, the less water it holds and the more desperate it sounds. Especially when you have no other strong argument to bring, as to why these two shouldn't be together. Oh, and don't even think about calling it pedophilia! Just because we saw Ashi growing up as a child doesn't mean she is one now. I'm pretty certain she's past the teen stage. In fact we even saw what she looked like during that stage. So treating her like she's still a child is kind of insulting, honestly. You're consent miss use of the word, makes me want to strangle myself. Okay I've been ranting about this for too long... Let's- let's get to our next topic.

“ Why does media keep pushing for heterosexual couples? What a bunch of Homophobes!”

*Sssssssiiigggghhh....* I know not everyone who disagrees with this pairing thinks this way, but my God Tumblr... What's with the extremism? I've always tried to be more opened minded about a lot of things. Accept others for who they are and have always said love is a very strange thing. So don't you DARE blindly accuse me as a “homophobe” for what a I'm about to say here... Not everything has to be gay, in order to tell a good love story! There I said it! A good love story is when you can feel the connection between two characters no matter what their sexual preference is. I don't like Ruby and Sapphire just because they're mineral space lesbians, I like them because of how much they care for each other and how they can have fights and make-ups like any other couple and so on and so forth. Thats what makes a good pairing. Also saying it's out of character for Jack to have an attraction to a female because your head-canon tells you he's either ace or homo, is also not true as well. Not saying you still can't have your ace/gay Jack crack ships. You don't have to have canon dictate to you what you can or can't ship. I'm simply saying that Jack has always been attracted to woman in the show. Remember when he got kissed by that girl in the field when he was a kid. He still has fond memories of it. And is it just me or did everyone forgot, Ikra, Josephine, or that creepy flower lady from 'Seasons of Death' happened? Given how nervous he gets around woman he finds attractive and how flustered he gets when seeing Ashi naked, it's clear to me now, that he is definitely not her biological father as well. Now that he's out of his depression, it was only a matter of time before he started falling for Ashi. Why is this anti-hetero/homophobia thing even an argument at all?! Why is it even brought up?

“ But the pacing felt so rushed! How dare they force the love-interest trope down our throats. This came out of nowhere!”

Okay, I'm going to briefly play devil's advocate here. I can get where the rushed pacing argument comes from. But forced? No, put a pin on that last one. We're gonna get back to that later. First I can agree that the pacing felt a bit rushed. (Though this isn't the first time I've enjoyed something with a rushed pace. *cough*9*cough*) Still, keep in mind that the creator was only given ten episodes to work with. So certain things had to be cut out, I'm sure. If they were going make thirteen I'm pretty certain that would have given them more time to further expand on Jack and Ashi's relationship, rather then cramming all the more romanic stuff in it into this episode. However, that doesn't mean that the romance came out of no where. There were some hints dropped here and there since the beginning of episode 3 infact. We got only two more episodes left, so 8 had to be the one to fully confirm how Jack and Ashi are starting to feel for each other. I do feel like there could have been some other things they could have changed in the previous episodes to help further accentuate the relationship a little better in this episode. As far as this season goes, it may not be one of their strongest episodes, but it's not their worst either. I still enjoyed it, romance and all. Honestly I think the real weak point was the conflict of being lost in the ship with the leach creatures. Like where was everyone else, what was the backstory to this space prison. This episode was always going to be about Jack and Ashi falling love no matter what. It's just everything else was going to just feel like a little bit of an after thought. Another complaint I've heard was that this episode felt like “filler” and did nothing to progress the plot of the story. Well, I like to think of this as the calm before the storm. (Irony) You know, a few light-hearted laughs to put us at ease before the shit it's the fan. (At least thats what it was suppose to be...) Though something tells me they're just doing this to break our hearts later... And what lack of plot progression. The plot progression was with Jack and Ashi. With that said, going back to the “forced” bit. As I said before it was hinted at early on, the moment Jack and Ashi started interacting with each other. But I think the problem is because they were hinted at so subtlety, I guess it's kinda easy for most people to miss them. Thing is we don't really know how long it took Jack and Ashi to go from that mounted to that market area or how long it took for them to find that bird. You can use your mind fill in the gaps there. But I feel that to really cover this topic and why I don't find their relationship “forced” I'm going to have to dive in deeper.

Shoot me...

Okay, now I'm going to get into what I think of these two and why I think they work as a pair. Starting off with Jack, he's pretty much been through hell at this point. Losing his home, separated from his family, spends the rest of his childhood training to earn his father's sword, only meets his parents again briefly before he goes off to fight Aku. Only to have the rug pulled out from under him when Aku throws him into the future. For fifty years this man has had to deal with so much pain and suffering. Getting trolled with by Aku, always having something try to kill him, being alone, seeing all the Hell that Aku has raised, suffering from hallucinations and no matter how hard he tries, he can never seem to reach his goal. Ultimately what leads to his depression. The more time passes him by while he remains young, the further and further his goal gets. He has lost all hope. Somewhere during those fifty years, a cult of Aku obsessed women have a ceremony for their High Priestess who's given birth to seven daughters for the soul purpose to kill Samurai Jack. However one of these girls is not like the others. Ashi, does not have the same mind set as her sisters. She's curious about the world outside, wants to see the beauty of nature, but is trapped with in the confides of her abusive mother. Never aloud to play or have fun. Never shown any love or bonding with her family. Forced into training at such a young age and all while being told nothing but lies about the Samurai and what an evil person he is, ruining Aku's “perfect” world. Having never met this man, it only filled Ashi's heart with anger and hate. Now fully grown, training complete, she and her sisters set off to kill Jack. Not knowing what they were getting themselves into. Not realizing that there mother essentially sent them out to die. And thus the journey begins for these two lost souls. Jack struggling to keep moving forward while being haunted by his own negative emotions as well as being hunted down by a shogun of death. Ashi, blinded by hatred towards a man who's done her no wrong, she does not realizes she's fighting for the wrong side. During the search for the Samurai, Ashi and her sisters come across a doe in the forest. That's when the buck shows up. Thinking it's related to Aku, they thing it's come to “devour the weaker one.” What they didn't expect to see was the two deer nuzzling each others noses. This was the first time any of them have seen affection before. Which leaves them so confused, as they were never taught to love but to hate. One of them even says she doesn't like it. I also consider this part foreshadowing. It's is only after he defeats them, does the ball really get rolling. Jack assumes he's killed Ashi like the rest, but the guilt of what he's done continues to eat a way at him. Ashi then wakes up, still hell bent on trying to kill him. She ends up getting restrained by her own chain and it is here, where Jack finally has a chance to see the woman behind the mask. A very troubled woman, who has clearly lost her way like him. Seeing that she is not evil and feeling bad for killing the others, Jack not only lets her live, but goes out of his way to protect her. The real turning point comes when Jack and Ashi escape the goliath monster. Ceasing the opportunity, Ashi slowly starts to creep up on him, while he isn't looking, but just as she's a bout to try and kill him that's when the ladybug appears. This triggers a memory of when she was a child. During her training, she sees a ladybug and lets it land on her hand. Her mother scolds her for this, taking the bug away and killing it in front of her. Going back to reality, that bug flies over to Jack. He rises his hand to it as Ashi watches, wondering what he's about to do. To her surprise, he lets the ladybug go, showing an act of kindness. Causing Ashi to drop her weapon; he's not the monster her mother made him out to be. Through Jack, she learns more about the world, Ashi begins to see the truth as he shows her the beauty of nature and horror that Aku has caused. Ashi does begin to believe him, but the moment that seals the deal is after they save bunch of children from enslavement, Jack freaks out when we thinks they're all dead. He heads off with the Omen (the shogun of death from earlier) to commit suicide and she goes to find him. Thats when she meets some of the people Jack has helped over the years, thats when she fully sees the man he really is. Thinking of her past and all the good Jack has done, this is what inspires her to change her appearance. And it's because of her that Jack was able to regain his hope. She gave him the strength he needed to fight off his own demons. She protected him while he was in deep meditation to find his sword. From an army and her own mother no less. She does not hold any ill will towards him for killing her sisters, as it was out of self defense. It was her mother who sent them out there in the first place. Now that his hope has been restored and is back to being his old self. Now that he gotten to know her and sees how much she has changed for the better, it should come has no surprise that they would start noticing each other in more ways. I mean this is probably the longest anyone has ever traveled with him. So how does any of that sound forced? There was build up. Sorry if you couldn't see it.

Final Thoughts...

Ya know, I find it pathetic that this is the reason people are getting so upset that they want to quit the show when theres only two episodes left to go. And you call yourselves fans... Can't we just wait to see how the out come and then make our criticize afterwards. I'm even more disappointed with the fan-base than I am with the episode because of how everyone is acting like this pairing is such a crime. When this season started I thought this was gonna be fun. But now I'm just left sour over yet another fandom like I was with the “9” fandom. I've seen people literally saying that it made them feel uncomfortable and ruined the WHOLE series for them. Say, you wanna know what makes me feel uncomfortable? Is the more I think about it, the more it disturbs me that anybody will get pissed over a healthy relationship like this one, yet you'll see abusive couples like Harley Quinn and Joker, Fifty Shades of Gray and the of mentioned Twilight get glorified. Am I the only one who sees something wrong there? And after all the shit that Jack and Ashi have been through, wouldn't you want to see them to be happy? Isn't that what many of us wanted? My only concern is now that it's established that Jack and Ashi have deeper feelings for one another, how is the final going to effect them. Are the rumors I keep hearing going to be true? I've always been wanting to know how this series is going to end since I was eight years old and nothing is going to stop me for watching the ending. I don't even care how it's going to end. I don't care if it breaks my heart. At least I will now know and I will accept what ever Genndy has in store. Like I said from the beginning, you're not wrong for disliking or disagreeing with this pairing, I'm not wrong for liking it and thats fine. But don't act like this is such a travesty that it makes you dislike the entire series, don't quite while we're so close to the end. This whole mess has just become childish at this point. But hey, hate me all you want for expressing my opinion. There is nothing you can say to me that hasn't already been said before. Hate never fixes anything. Hate is what got Ashi's sisters killed in the long run. I've been rambling on about this for too long. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna make some Jashi fan art while I still can. In the mean time enjoy this little quote.

“Believe what you may, but if you open your eyes and let go of the hate. You will see the truth.”

~Jack

[asleepingwindow]

As a final post on this “discourse” sideblog, I want to talk about something not specific to the ace discourse, but rather something that cuts across all groups, all people online or off. Whatever you are arguing or whatever side you are on, we as humans are prone to confirmation bias and the online world is no better place than to create echo-chambers.

I have always felt that teaching myself skepticism was one of the best things I could have done for myself. It was during that time I was also active in the atheist community, online and off. The skeptic and atheist community often overlapped and it was from these groups that I became a feminist.

New atheist groups often wonder why they are largely made up of white men, and if you challenge them on their sexism/racism etc… it becomes obvious why, which is what happened to me. I was the darling women on a majority male forum agreeing with them that religion is the source of all evil, therefore exempting atheist men from things like sexism and all other bigotries. It wasn’t until an argument about rape culture came up that I saw just how deeply misogynist some of these men were.

So my venture into skeptic and atheist groups not only taught me the scientific process and logical fallacies but it also steered me towards social justice. I am no longer friends with any of those people in real life or online. Once I became a feminist and was able to identify their sexism, I wasn’t their darling atheist spokeswoman anymore. It was another valuable lesson in the way people form their groups and their echo-chambers within. How people will ignore some really bad things just to stay included and how they will turn when someone strays. Some people may be thinking of trump supporters now, but everyone is susceptible to this type of behavior.

Fast forward a few years later, but still a few years ago and I had to deal with a callout on an anonymous forum I moderated bc they monitored my tumblr and I made the sin of reblog from and being in mutuals with the wrong people, (who were just ppl they didn't like including people I’ve since met IRL.) I was dubbed a transphobe not for anything I explicitly said or did that was transphobic, it was guilt by association. Had to leave the forum, as this was also invitation to make up other horrible things I never did bc they could and now ppl were ready to believe.

This is around the time TERF started catching on, and while I certainly agree with calling out transphobia in feminism (I would never insist a trans woman is male, I think thats a violent act against trans women! And I despise it being done in the name of feminism) but at the same time it turned into a witch hunt for anyone who talked about sex-based oppression that even ended up attacking other trans woman for not towing a certain Tumblr rhetoric on these issues!

I’m no LGBT elder by any means, but I have been online since I was about 12 and I’m 32 now. I remember a time when the internet was far more horrible on SJ matters but also far more anonymous. People never dropped their real name; now one of the biggest social media sites requires it. And before that even happened I still saw a lot of petty bullshit happening online that wound up really hurting people IRL. So now with it easier to find out who people are and where they live, I can only imagine how online drama has ruined lives. We know it has driven people to suicide, and so as fun as it is to get self righteously angry at people for whatever your cause is, there’s still a person at the other end and no one’s perfect.

I am truly disturbed at how incredibly cliquey SJ groups are online, how callout posts aren’t for extreme racist sexist bigots, but for some drama I can’t even parse in their so called “proof”. And then you have activists on this site who block anyone who disagrees with them so their criticisms can’t show up in the notes. Some even go so far as dox people now for daring to disagree! K(And let’s be clear, I shed no tears for literal nazis being doxxed and losing their job, that’s just not what I’m seeing)

It’s easy, its human nature to fall into social pressures and conform to whatever the Big Names in your group are saying without question and to defend an absurd position based on emotional attachment than logical assessment. And we know it’s also easy to fall into a mob mentality and scapegoat people for all our problems. It’s also super fucking easy to plead mental illness and pretend you should be allowed to say anything you want without criticism, something that I hate so much as one who suffers from many mental issues including anxiety. (That’s why I created rules for myself when arguing online so I didn’t end up giving myself panic attacks over an internet edge lord)

I say this knowing I have participated in this behavior myself as well as having been a victim of it. But a lot in my life has changed and I am an older and sicker… and still likely to make similar mistakes. Point is I have learned and I have trained myself to not to fall into these traps and it does help. Experience is one hell of a teacher but it doesn’t have to be the only one.

No one can know if they are 100% right on any given issue, we all have our convictions for a reason. The difference is are you willing to listen to dissent? Are you willing to challenge your opinion and put it to the test? Or do you make block lists and shun anyone who entertains any different opinion? (a classic tactic amongst anti-vax groups when a parent sees the science) My convinction of many of my beliefs comes from the fact I have argued them over and over again, discharging beliefs that did not pass the test, while strengthening my arguments for and belief in those that do.

Make no mistake, when it does come to the so called “discourse” both sides can be guilty of this shit. I claim no purity. And I am in no way implying that we tolerate hate groups and violent hate speech, like those of nazis bc unfortunately nazis are actually relevant again, but I am saying some of you need a reality check on what that exactly entails, because a lesbian speaking her truth is not it.

And for god sakes don’t put teens on block lists, you know it invites harassment, you fucking know it.

[benhardyisdaddy]

Love Of My Life - Part 15

MASTERLIST 

(hello bbys its been a while for a chap so im SORRY but i hope u like this one xoxo also, this pic reminds me of y/n and johns wedding day w roger so im posting it lolol) 

Word Count: 1,532

Dear Roger, 

My best mate. The one person I can go to when I need something, because I know you’ll never turn me away. That’s exactly why I'm writing this letter to you - I need something. I’m dying. You already know that. Everyone does. It’s unavoidable and closer than I expected. My darling, darling y/n will be alone and by herself. Knowing her, she won’t take care of herself when I’m gone. That’s why I need you. Do you remember that night when you drunkenly apologized to me on our wedding night? You were sobbing hard as you confessed your feelings for y/n, telling me how bad of a friend you were for feeling that way towards your best friends now wife. I just need you to know that I was never upset or angry at you. I know exactly how you feel, as I am hopelessly in love with her too. You can’t help who you fall in love with, Roger. That’s why I need your help. I’ll be gone soon and y/n will shut every person in her life out. She will need someone to comfort her and, well, make her believe in love again. That’s why I know you’re perfect for this. Make my wife know what love feels like again. Don’t worry, I have a plan. 

I’m writing letters for her and you will secretly deliver them to her on specific dates, which I have marked down. There’s events that follow with every letter - go with her. Please. Show her that life is worth living, even though I’m gone. Love her, Roger. Love her like you did on the night we married. You’re the only person I trust with this task, because I know you, Roger Taylor. You give 100% of yourself and that’s what she needs. I know deep down in my heart that she will feel the same way. 

The letters are all ready, I just need you to please let me know your answer. I will give you them and the set dates for when you should place them in the mailbox. I’d say I owe you my life, but you surely don’t want that. Just promise me you’ll take care of her in ways I can’t. She deserves every piece of happiness that this world has to offer. I have a feeling you agree. 

Your Best Friend, 

John 

***

Roger knew. He was the one who was sending the letters out to you. He pretended to be as shocked as you when you received them, but he knew. John asked his best friend to woo his wife when he was gone. You couldn’t believe him. This whole time you were guilty for feeling how you felt with Roger and John was the one behind it. You were confused and hurt and sad. If John were here, he’d get a good ear full about what you thought of his little scheme, but he wasn’t.

You were almost to the airport as the words John had said filled your mind. Open your heart. Open your heart. Love again. Love again. You roll your eyes and look out the window, admiring the beautiful scenery that France had to offer. You left Roger all alone back at the hotel and you were beginning to feel bad. All you can imagine now is the look on his face when you stormed past him and out the door. It wasn’t his fault that John involved him in this. And Roger confessed his feelings for you the night of your wedding!? You couldn’t believe that. 

***

FLASHBACK 

***

Mr. and Mrs. John Deacon. You were finally married to the love of your life and you couldn’t be happier. Everyone you both knew were at the ceremony and now they were all together in a large ballroom for your wedding reception. Everyone was drinking and laughing and having fun until someone clears their throat and introduces the newly weds. A large door opens up and out walks the two of you hand in hand with big goofy grins on your faces. Roger was stood in the back corner, finishing his fourth drink. His fourth ridiculously strong drink that burned his throat with every sip. He was happy for you two, more than happy. He just had this tiny monster of guilt inside of him, eating away. He drunkenly walks forward as John kisses you and walks towards a table with drinks. John spots Roger and smiles widely as he brings him in for a hug. 

“My best man!” he says loudly. “Taking advantage of the drinks are we?” he teases, noticing how drunk Roger already is. 

Usually Roger would laugh and spit a jab back at him, but he doesn’t. He just looks at John with sad eyes - showing him that something’s wrong. 

“Roger?” he asks, now worried. 

“Can we talk?” asks Rog, quietly. 

John nods quickly, a frown on his face. He looks around and spots a door to the far left corner of the room. It’s an exit. The boys make their way outside. It’s pitch black, but the full moon helps light up the night. John leans against the building as Roger sits on a step. His head in hung forward as he ashamedly tells John everything. 

“You’re in love with, y/n?” asks John, trying to understand. 

Roger nods and brings his head up, revealing his tear stained face and tormented eyes. 

“I have been ever since I first met her that night of your date. I hate myself so much for feeling how I do, but I just needed to tell you. I would never act on that, John. Please, believe me. It’s been killing me.” 

“Rog,” says John, sitting next to him. “I’m not angry. You don’t get to decide who you love. I trust you, mate. I can’t blame you for how you feel, I mean look at her.” 

They both laugh and agree with each other. 

“Just know, she loves you as well. We both do. I’m just sorry that this has been bothering you for so long. Don’t ever feel afraid to tell me anything, alright? Ever.” 

Roger smiles and sniffles as he nods. He feels so much better now that John knows. And John not hating him made him feeling even more better. He really did have the best friend ever. 

“Now let’s get back in there and have a blast. Yeah? Let me catch up with you on those drinks.” 

Roger laughs as they stand up. John pulls him forward and hugs him hard once more. Roger holds him close as his eyes threaten to spill. 

“Come one.” whispers John, patting his back. 

They both walk inside and Roger being in love with you was never mentioned again, until now. 

***

You’re boarding your plane and find your seat. You slide all the way over and sit down, looking out the window. You were going back home. Back home to the memories of what was once happiness and love. The last time you felt that was with-

“Roger.” 

Your head snaps over and there in the seat next to you… is John. Your eyes go wide as he sadly smiles. 

“The last time you felt love and happiness wasn’t with me, it was with Roger. You can admit it, love. That’s what I was hoping.” 

You close your eyes and shake your head. 

“You’re not John. You’re not real.” 

“Maybe so,” he starts. “But I’m exactly what you want to hear. Your conscious. The real John would tell you the exact same thing and you know it.” 

You look back over to him and you can’t believe how real he looks. Like he’s really next to you at this moment. You slowly shake your head, tears falling down your cheek. 

“I couldn’t do that to him.” you whisper. 

“Y/n,” he says, making you almost gasp at his voice saying your name again. “I’m dead. Roger’s alive. I wanted this for you. I constructed all of this for you. Don’t give up on me now.” 

“I would never give up on you.” you quietly sob. “Ever.” 

“Then what are you doing on this plane while Roger’s still at the hotel? If that’s not giving up, then I don’t know what is. You have to say it.” 

“Say what?” you ask, not understanding. 

“You have to say it out loud. That you love Roger.” 

“I can’t do that.” you quietly whisper. 

“You have to. It’s what I want.” 

You cry harder for a moment before closing your eyes. You take in a deep breath and calm yourself down. You breathe for a moment and open your mouth. 

“I…” you pause, taking in another deep breath. “I... love Roger.” 

As the words slip from your mouth, it’s like this heavy weight lifted from your chest and you can finally breathe. You exhale and suddenly your eyes fly open. You look over to John and he’s still there with a smile on his face. 

“Now go.” he tells you. 

You smile at him and jump up, grabbing your bag. You apologize to everyone as you make your way off of the plane and to Roger.

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