#and then she says 'but we never figured out what kind of asian he is' LMFAO

[trueduelist]

Im texting one of the long time cooks because she had a question about the AGM and as she continues to talk, i realize she is so out of the loop on everything thats going on 😭 like she asks "so AGM is part time?!" And im like "well yes but also this is his last week."

Her: "WHAT!??!?? Why?? Hes so good"

Me: "yes but we need a full time AGM here. He is getting transferred so its good for him"

Her: "so [our newer manager] will be taking over"

Me: "well no .. she is staying where she is because were getting a new agm. He is new to the company but has experience"

Her: "well what about chef? Why doesnt he move up to general mgmt!"

Me: "ummm he already quit...."

Her: "what!???!!"

[bulbabutt]

so im white, lets just get that out of the way, but i wanna talk about the orientalism in windblades design.

this doesnt feel like my place to talk about but if no one brings it up then no ones gonna learn about it or second guess it. im tired of other white people not noticing this problem or thinking its fine. if anyone asian (specifically japanese) has any thoughts or personal input it is SUPER fucking welcome! its hard to find people talking about this.

so transformers has a women problem in general. they set up women in the 80s in one episode and never elaborated on it in that show. they added arcee in the movie. they put a couple in the beast wars era, but outside of blackarachnia (becoming a literal succubus) we dont really get any of those characters adapted (besides arcee) over iterations. never any new ones really.

then the comics get windblade. i havent read the comics, this isnt about anything that happens in them. this is about her design how she comes off as as shes been adapted into cartoons. i wont comment on events from the comics outside of her origin, as i know fuck all about it.

so she was supposedly a fan-voted character, but her 'fan-voted' aspects have nothing to do with the problem (in fact the fan-vote was more of a suggestion because a few things dont end up being true) the voted aspects are as follows:

autobot. jet. fights with swords. red & black. named windblade. female. valiant. telepath. from Kaon.

so here's what that ends up looking like.

so they took some liberties. there was other concepts where she was a european knight etc, but this is where they landed. she has this extremely feminine figure, complete with makeup and sculpted hair. many people immediately mistake this look for a geisha (though supposedly being kabuki) she gets little pump heels, it makes her very human woman shaped. birthing hips and all. thats classic girl robot stuff. its the specifics of it that are an issue.

so thats kind of a lot of japanese motifs. the makeup, the swords, the hair... why does it look like human hair? thats a very specific hairstyle on a character who doesnt have hair...

on its own, having a japanese inspired aesthetic isnt the problem. i mean, coding characters to be from different places is fine. having characters coded as a specific race could be fine. jazz already exists, and despite being taken by racist creators sometimes (cough michael bay cough) its not inherently bad that he is black coded, specifically when in the hands of black creators/voices. thats key.

so having a transformer who landed in japan and took on some culture from there. you could see that happening. that could work if in the hands of people who were japanese.

but thats not even her backstory. shes not even from Kaon (as was voted), instead she's from another planet entirely, a more spiritual one, which narratively makes her alienated from cybertronians. this alienation adds to the problem. "shes not from here." "shes not like us."

you'll see many people look at this design and think "is that geisha transformer?" and as the character isnt from japan and knows nothing about the culture that inspired her, the media itself never corrects anyone. no one in the text goes "no shes not a geisha shes actually based on a kabuki performer", no one says any words about it, its just how she looks, its just aesthetics without explanation or cultural background. shes not literally japanese, she just looks it. its easy to mistake without cultural context from a western perspective, so calling her a geisha becomes a rampant problem. general audiences arent looking at forum posts form 2014 where someone correctly explains what the motifs are. shes made by white people, and white people are largely the ones consuming the media. its unfortunate, and could have been avoided if the culture shes inspired by was relevant to her character.

so she's clearly heavily inspired by japanese aesthetics, which codes her as being an asian woman in this media but written by non japanese people. and then she becomes so popular that she has to start making appearances in shows.

she shows up in robots in disguise first. lets compare her to strongarm (the only other girl in the show)

having this japanese woman be far more thin and feminized than the other girl characters is the problem. strongarm is literally the first non feminized main girl transformer (not counting strika) she is much more in line with the men around her, square and broadshouldered, shes the largest car of the bunch. that was an upgrade finally. and then we get windblade. she has ruby red lipstick, human hair, heels, jewellery. on its own? thats fine. but keep in mind, shes heavily japanese coded already. then shes immediately seen as a romantic conquest for sideswipe (though he never gets anywhere, he literally claims ownership) it leans into tropes of sexualizing asian women because she stands apart from strongarm. shes the flirt, shes the very feminine one. is this on purpose? its not their fault windblade looks like that in the comics and strongarm looks like this. but side by side what is it saying? did they intend to say this about their asian woman? no, probably not intentionally. its kind of unconscious bias that tends to happen when you dont have a diverse writers room. no one notices until it hits the audience.

but lets just jump in here with the other weird problem in RID, because shes not the only one who jumped from the comics.

drift (who while being a samurai in the comics (literal?) doesnt.... LITERALLY wear a suit of samurai armour) shows up. with his two minicons who act as his children (who hes very strict with). theres a heavy overuse of the word honour. he owes a life debt, hes very humourless etc... they also never explain why he wears this armour. he came straight from space. he doesnt even turn into anything big that warrants it, hes just another sports car. bumblebee and sideswipe are sports cars too. but why is drift a sports car? tokyo drifting. drift. you get it.

so drift also is a comics original character. he, however, looks nothing like that

i will assume that drift looks different for one reason....

i mean. i shouldnt have to tell you why that was bad, right? you guys get why michael bay movies are bad? (if you genuinely dont please enjoy this series as a starter) ill just assume you do. knowing that that drift is bad, can we also say windblade is suffering from a similar problem?

this show brings in these FOUR new characters and heres how they look side by side.

so. okay the minicons are raised by drift, they share his aesthetic, okay. we dont know where he got that aesthetic but yeah they share it. windblade.... its unclear in this show if she shares the being from another planet like idw part. shes on a mission from god to be here and thats all we know. but the point is they have no similar origin. yet they all look like they could be from the same place. that they shares a (japanese inspired/coded/stereotyped take your pick) culture. meanwhile our from ep1 mains look like this:

so that feels. specific.

its not inherently bad to code robots as japanese, however its a problem when it seems to be for aesthetics alone. its stereotyping. they look nothing like the rest of the cast, everything like each other, and are from completely different backgrounds. they literally have the same colour palette? theyre not even like that in the comics.

sidenote, if you add sideswipe (who's alt mode has kanji on it and an asian voice actor so we can assume some coding there too) they look like this. yes they all have swords.... no one else does!

yes, windblade is the only character with a white face. makeup. yes sideswipe claims ownership over her to fight off one of the minicons. its not wrong to show windblade being harassed by a man, but it is wrong that no one ever says "leave her alone" you know? like thats just whats to be expected of her. it sucks. but at least her voice actress was asian! that wont happen again.

so. moving on to cyberverse, she becomes a central character. character wise? shes great. she gets to do a lot, no one sexually harasses her here, we're free of that era.

comparing her to the other autobot women, shes more in line now. if thats a good or bad thing overall is less the point (ie theres no autobots built like strongarm was, they are all just as thin and curvy as windblade is) but to me its still very apparent that shes still implying human hair. even with how simplified all these designs are.

like you can see how these red lines around her eyes get lost at a distance, same with the clips in her 'hair'. its clearly just trying to adapt her original design and im not saying thats a wrong choice they made, but i am saying its really busy in comparison

maybe thats a nitpick. but here it seems much more pronounced just how specific her head piece is because we can compare her to chromia, who is from the same place. do these two characters look like they have the same culture? not really. chromia and arcee look more alike. maybe thats just because they were designed later, but its unfortunate none the less.

even comparing her head to the seekers, what she is kind of supposed to be, they get the same old starscream mold. maybe she'd look better if they just did that? or something similar? like, give her a helmet. no one has hair. please stop implying hair. we all know what youre doing.

none of this is me saying i find these shows bad or that i hate windblade, i genuinely love her! and i love both these shows! it just feels hard to love her because of how she was designed. its not a problem with having a japanese coded character, its how stereotyped the look is. how othered it is. it leans into racist tropes. its orientalism, using japanese aesthetics to make her look interesting and different. you can tell she was made by white people.

how is it that despite being around for 10 years now, no ones tried to redesign her?

also look at the toys! look at the god damn toys!

she can take that head piece out to have a FAN. why does she need a fan?? shes got fucking WIND JETS ON HER BACK! its very obvious why they did this. shes a japanese woman, she can fight with a fan to complete the aesthetic! despite her character never having even been there! and no other transformer using a fan weapon! shes so COOL AND DIFFERENT like that isnt she?? holy fucking shit

to go back to those original voted concepts for a second? if we went back to the drawing board?

a telepathic valiant female autobot who can fly, has a red/blue/black colour combo (with yellow accents) uses swords, and maybe even with canonical asian heritage....

could they even do that? is it possible?

...

OH! wait it SUPER IS! who'd have thought!?

im NOT saying "we dont need windblade! we have a better girl with the same concept!" cuz thats stupid. do not misunderstand, theres room for WAYYYY MORE TF GIRLS! the literal 1:13 ratio is FUCKED! i know windblade had to fight to exist too and that sucks!

i just think it's CLEARLY possible to do this better, and it SHOULD be entirely possible to have windblade (who was LITERALLY holding court as the MAIN girl transformer for years) to be, i dont know, not so racistly designed? i think its entirely possible to fix, i just wish they would have tried already.

and this is just what my white ass has thought about since meeting her and not seeing anyone else bring it up. like going hunting for a real take about it just meets you with the rampant misogyny problem in fan spaces. its hard to find people talking about it in a normal way, but if they have before id love to know.

i just wanted to put my thoughts about it down, maybe get people to think about it more or talk about it more. cuz jeez, i would really like them to fix the problem. like they fixed the arcee problem in idw, right? can they fix windblade next?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

My IRL ex who lives abroad now is dating my online friend who also lives there and I am deceiving them, AITA?

All of us are Asian, 29. Fake names are used.

My ex (Fred) was my childhood best friend, we grew up together in the same conservative society, people expected to see us marry since we were kids, all that jazz. At 18, we both moved away and kept up LDR. Moving meant big changes of course, I was in a huge city and I had internet access for the first time. I became a BTS fan in 2013, I started creating and reading a lot. I joined tumblr, made friends from all over the world. I was being radicalized rapidly, and I figured out I was bi too. My world was suddenly a million times bigger.

He however, didn't change much. He was scientific minded unlike most people here and his friends were all STEM kids but they were still functionally right leaning. He was racist when it came to BTS or East Asians in general. He was ignorant and happy to ignore queer existence, he used to say things like queer people needed to be shown the right path. We were turning out to be quite the opposites. Eventually we broke up. He was heartbroken, he tried to drag me back in many times and I avoided him like plague. I managed to ditch him completely when we were about 23. He left for USA to study.

Around the same time I befriended one of my closest online friends, Daphne. We lived in the same state but she was always traveling so we never got to meet. We're both hellsite veterans and keep our identities under lock & key so we don't know our real names or exact place of work, but we know each other's deepest kinks and childhood traumas, and stories about our exes. We both had the same kind of interests, politics, and fandoms, we're both bisexual. I've also come out as a trans man a few years ago and I go by a masculine name online, can't transition IRL. Daphne's known me since my girl era. Daphne left for USA last year for her Masters.

Now the wild part, by some twist of fate, Daphne met Fred who's also working on his Masters in an adjacent field. It is by no means a niche subject and USA is the fourth largest country, they still found each other. He sang in our first language at some party, he's very hot, and... he's into BTS like her. Wild. So they're now dating.

They started following each other on twitter and he followed a bunch of her friends including Me! We have exchanged pleasantries and while on his account he has his real name and location, mine is a mixed bag account with my fake name and my (sfw) queer creations all over it.

I know who He is but he doesn't know who I am, he thinks I'm just one of Daphne's dudes, and Daphne doesn't know that she's dating my ex who she had promised to drop into the Challenger's Deep (joke). My reasoning for hiding the truth is-- It's still not safe for me to be out IRL and he can mess it up. I remember his bigotry, I hate him, I have every right to avoid him and here that means not revealing my identity. But it's been years so maybe he has changed, and Daphne is my friend. So, I feel like a massive ahole for not telling her at least. At the same time she really did hate my racist homophobic right leaning ex a lot, so knowing the truth will make things awkward and I don't want to lose my friend.

So, there you have it. AITA?

BTW, no I'm not into BTS ships or reader insert fantasies, that's not what I create. I know someone would ask about it so there. I'm also Not attracted to Daphne, if I was I'd have asked her out straight away, I don't play around about my crushes.

What are these acronyms?

[woggle-bugger-me]

The Royal Book of Oz is so much worse than I thought.

Ok, so before today I'd never actually read The Royal Book of Oz (AKA the 15th Oz book and the first one written by Ruth Plumly Thompson) all the way through, having only read extracts. I knew it had racist content, but I figured I'd give it a chance so I could form my own opinion.

My opinion is... My god. It's so bad.

Anyway, here are my rambling thoughts. Warning: Racism and xenophobia are discussed. Here we go...

Rant no. 1: The Silver Island

Pretty much everyone in the Oz fandom knows that the Silver Islanders (or "Silvermen" as they are called, which is gross) are an outdated, racist depiction of a fantasy East Asian culture. This isn't news. But what I find interesting is that they... don't really do much wrong. Yes, they kind of kidnap the Scarecrow, but they think he's their long-lost emperor. They do treat their servants badly, which is portrayed by the narrative as a bad thing, but the narrative also treats literally all of their cultural practices as wrong in some way, and the way they treat their servants is not portrayed as being worse than anything else.

The Silver Islanders are characterised is a similar way to the various small communities that appear in the Baum books. They're eccentric, but mostly harmless. However the Scarecrow (and by extension the narrative, since we are supposed to agree with the Scarecrow's viewpoint) views them as this group of immoral wierdos who's way of life is inherently inferior to the Ozian way of life. To be clear, the fact that they're not all evil villains is a good thing - it'd be way more offensive to depict them as all being antagonistic - but that doesn't change the fact that we, the reader, are clearly supposed to see them as lesser.

In this book, the Silver Island (AKA Fantasy Asia) = bad and cringe, meanwhile Oz (AKA Fantasy America) = good and cool. That basically sums up the way the Silver Islanders are depicted.

Rant no. 2: The Scarecrow

The Scarecrow is really unpleasant in this book and it's honestly uncomfortable to read. He insults the Silver Islanders pretty much as soon as he meets them, and when he meets Happy Toko, who's the token "good" Silver Islander, he "befriends" him (I'm putting "befriends" in quotes because he treats Happy like trash throughout the entire story) and then straight-up refuses to pronounce his name correctly. Keep in mind, Happy Toko is nothing but nice to the Scarecrow the entire time, and the Scarecrow doesn't call him by his actual name once.

The Scarecrow is also a really reactive character here. He spends most of the book complaining about his situation, but barely does anything to actually improve it. Compare him with Dorothy, the other main protagonist of the book. She takes charge and is an active player in her adventure. The fact that a 12-year-old is more proactive than this adult man says a lot about the way the Scarecrow is characterised here.

He's also relentlessly rude to the Silver Islanders, insulting both their culture and them as people at every opportunity. There's this one cringeworthy scene where he attends an important meal and freaks out over the local cusine. Not only is this an unfunny, xenophobic jab at Asian cusine (haha get it? Asians eat weird food!), but it also makes no sense for the Scarecrow's character. He doesn't eat, so why does he even care?? There's also a horrible scene where he meets his grandchildren and starts full-on bullying them. He literally yells at them, calling them "little villains" because they can't find Oz on a map. They seem to be pretty young kids, by the way.

Now, it does make sense for the Scarecrow to have difficulty adapting to the Silver Island culture. He's been suddenly thrust into a very important position in a culture that he isn't familiar with. It makes sense for him to be a fish out of water. The problem is that he never changes his views or has them challenged. This isn't a story where the Scarecrow has difficulty adapting to a different culture but eventually comes to respect and appreciate them, it's a story where the Scarecrow spends all his time being racist and complaining, then fucks off back to Oz, leaving Happy Toko, a random servant, as the new emperor.

Also the Ruth Plumly Thompson books are technically considered canon, meaning that the Scarecrow is canonically a racist now. Let that sink in.

Rant no. 3: The other Ozians also suck.

To be fair, none of the other Baum characters are as awful as the Scarecrow, but they're still portrayed pretty poorly here. Here are some examples:

The Wogglebug: In fairness, the Wogglebug's always been a bit of a dickhead, so he's not that out-of-character, but I'd argure that he's even more of a dickhead here. He argues that a person's geneaology is what makes them important, which is ironic since, as Mari Ness points out in her Royal Book review, he's literally a giant insect.

The Tin Woodman: Nick's a minor character here, but there's this one bit where the Wogglebug is asking everyone about their family trees and the Tin Woodman says that he no longer associates with his meat family. It's probably a coincidence that Nick was poor, and came from a poor family, before he became Emperor of the Winkies, but still...

Also, the Wogglebug insults the Scarecrow, who later disappears, and Nick doesn't give a damn. This is his closest friend, who he clearly loves, by the way. Though tbf with the way the Scarecrow is characterised I'm not sure I can blame him.

The other Americans who moved to Oz: Don't appear here because Thompson hates any character who isn't a part of the aristocracy.

Rant no. 4: This matters.

This matters because the previous Oz books had themes of acceptence, and that you should treat other people well, even if they're different than you. Baum definitely fumbled with this in his books (shoutout to Victor the phonograph, you deserved better), but its still mostly a consistent message.

However, the message is altered here. Now, instead of "queerness doesn't matter, so long as they're friends", it's "queerness doesn't matter, unless you're poor and/or not white, then fuck you I guess." And I know people are going to read this and point out that Baum was himself racist, and that his racism bled into his books, and those people are right! We absolutely should criticise Baum's racism! But - and I'm not an expert in 1900's American racism so feel free to disagree - Baum's Oz was never as racist as Thompson's Oz.

Keep in mind that Royal Book isn't the only example of Thompson's racism. There's a later Thompson book which literally frames slaves revolting as the bad guys. Say what you will about Baum, but at least he depicted slavery as the evil that it is.

It also just sucks to see the Scarecrow being so racist, since he's one of my favourite Oz characters. I like him in Baum's books, but I hate him in this one :(

Anyway, this turned out a lot longer than I thought it would. This post was meant to be just a few bullet points but it turned into a mini essay. Turns out I had a lot more to say than I thought.

[therand0mwriter]

IDOL-Chapitre un

Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir x Male!Idol!reader

When a young American idol and his band tours in France, every one in Adrien's class wants to go. Unfortunately for them, tickets sold out as soon as they were for sale. Fortunately for Adrien, his father was able to get him tickets, but with a cost. Even though theres an underlying reason on why he's going, Adrien decides to take his best friend Nino, and his other two close classmates/friends, Alya and Marinette.

When they all got to the concert and the idol started singing, it mesmerized Adrien, pulling him to the front of the stage. Seeing the idol perform made Adrien feel things he never felt before, and it didn't help when the idol lent down and kissed Adrien's hand. Now that caused quite the ruckus.

"𝐔𝐡, 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭?"

[Unedited]

[(h/t) = hair type, i.e. curly, wavy, straight, ect.]

[Everyone in the story is 18 or older unless it is specifically said otherwise.]

*Y/N's POV*

"We're going to France!" Your manager, Sheena, just cheered. It was silent in the conference room as you and your band mates took this in. "Huh?" Was all you could say. "What do you mean: 'huh'?! You guys are going to tour in France! Be more excited!" Sheena yelled at us while shaking her fists.

"Are we that popular to be touring in a different country?" Your bass player, Jiraiya, questioned. "Oh boy, I don't know any french..." Your drummer, Loyal, worried out loud. "Relax, I'm sure this'll be a fun, new experience for all of us." Your guitarist, Kylian, said as he patted Loyal's shoulder in comfort. "Ah, I can't wait for the food!" Your keyboardist, Kairo, was already drooling at the thought of French cuisine.

These are your bandmates. You five, including yourself, make up the band: Ensnare. There was you, Y/N L/N, age 18, 5'9", the leader and vocalist. Then there was Jiraiya Duran, age 19, second in command and the bass player. Jiraiya is of Asian and pacific islander descent, around 5'8", has straight black hair, sharp dark brown eyes, glasses, tan skin, a Medusa lip piercing, sharp features and a slim but fit figure. You honestly think he could become a model if he wanted to. You could call Jiraiya the cool but serious type.

Next is Kylian Thatcher, age 18 and the guitarist of the group. Kylian is of European descent, 5'7", has wavy light brown hair, blue eyes, peach colored skin, dolphin bites lip piercings and a sharp jawline, giving Jiraiya a run for his money. He's definitely the most cocky in the group, constantly butting heads with Jiraiya when you're not around. You could consider him the bad boy out of everyone.

And finally, the twins, Loyal and Kairo Elsher, age 17, mix of European and African descent. Loyal is our drummer while Kairo is our keyboardist. They're identical twins with a height of 5'6", heterochromia eyes (one hazel and one green), light brown skin and a beauty mark under their right eye. They both have curly, colored hair, but their natural black hair is starting to show at the roots. Loyal's hair was dyed blue while Kairo's was dyed orange. The only difference between the two, minus their hair color and their instruments, was their personalities. Loyal was nervous and introverted, Kairo was care-free and extroverted.

Oh, and we can't forget our manager, Sheena Wright, age 40. She is of European descent, 5'6", dyed red hair, blue eyes, freckles, peach colored skin and has multiple ear piercings. Sheena's personality is very outgoing, she's headstrong but determined, she knows when it's time to be serious but also knows when it's time to let loose. In a way, she's kind of like a cool mom to all of us.

"Wait, wait, wait," You started, placing your hand on the table to calm everyone down. "Isn't France notorious now because there's villains constantly running rampant?" "Oh yeah, will we be safe?" Loyal sat up, instantly starting to worry. Sheena waved us off, "Of course you'll be safe! You'll have your bodyguards and Frances hero's."

"'Frances hero's?'" You repeated, not sure if you heard her correctly. "Oh, that's right," Jiraiya started, opening the conference room laptop. He started typing then projected an image of a dark blue haired female in a skin tight, red suit with black polka-dots and a blonde haired male in a skin tight, black cat suit with cat ears on top of his head. "This is Ladybug and Chat Noir, Frances hero's. They're the ones who take care of the villains." Jiraiya explained, pointing to the duo.

You sighed then asked, "When is it?" "It's in six months, you'll be doing the same tour you did earlier this year." Sheena informed. All of your bandmates look to you, their leader, for your decision. "Seems like we need to start learning French." You shrugged. Kairo and Kylian cheered, Loyal got a nervous look and Jiraiya smiled.

*Time Skip, Adrien's POV*

When I entered my class, every one was absolutely buzzing. I went up to Nino, Alya and Marinette as they were huddled together watching something with large smiles. "Whats going on you guys?" I smiled, peeking over Nino's shoulder. Marinette jumped and squeaked at my presence and Nino greeted me, "Hey dude! We're just watching the announcement for Ensnare's France tour!"

"'Ensnare'?" I questioned. "Yeah man," Alya started, smiling. "Ensnare is an American boy band that's totally amazing. Everyone in the group is super talented and not to mention super hot! And they have mentioned some of the best news I have ever heard: they're coming here!" Her and Marinette squealed in excitement. "Here, watch this!" Alya said, pulling up the video they were watching earlier.

On the screen was a... really attractive guy. He seemed to be around our age, but he had a mature air about him. His soft smile, (e/c) eyes, (short/long) lashes, clear (s/c) skin, sharp jawline, and (h/t) (h/c) hair all screamed hot model.

"Depending on when you're seeing this, bonjour or bonsoir République française! This is Ensnare announcing that we will be touring all of France in six months! The tickets will go on sale at 10 in the morning your time, so get them while you can! They're limited! And if you get the VIP tickets we all can't wait to meet you! The VIP tickets include a meet and greet before the concert, a picture with us, and a signed piece of merch! But we are giving out a handful of Deluxe VIP tickets where you get everything a VIP ticket does, but you also get to have dinner with us! The meet and greet will be after the concert though. Remember, premier arrivé premier servi. À bientôt!" The male ended with a smile and a wink.

Ba-bump

'What was that?' I shook my head. "Who was that?" I ask, pointing to the male on the phone. "That's (Y/N) (L/N)! He's the leader and singer of Ensnare! Then there's Jiraiya," Alya excitedly explained, hurriedly moving on to the other members before I could ask more questions about the bands leader. 'Oh well, guess I'll do my own research tonight.' I mentally shrugged to myself as Alya continued to explain every member to me.

"Wow, it seems like you guys really like them. Are you going to their concert?" I questioned, getting pouts from the girls in return. "We're gonna try! That is, if the tickets don't sell out." Marinette answered. "I'm sure you guys will get them!" I encouraged, giving her a smile. Her face immediately turned red and she gained a nervous smile, she started stuttering before Alya stepped in, "Well it's going to be hard since pretty much every one I know is going to try to go to that concert. But we're going to try too!" "I'm sure you'll get them, babe." Nino said, kissing Alya on the cheek.

"Wait, when you say every one you know is going to try to get tickets, does that include our friends?" I ask, referring to the other students around me. "Definitely," Alya sighed. "Well, fingers crossed." I gave Alya and Marinette a comforting smile.

*Time Skip*

"I'm sorry you guys," I tried to comfort my sad friends. "We were so close to going to their concert..." Marinette mumbled. "At least no one else in our class was able to get tickets!" Nino also (poorly) tried to cheer them up. "Still..." Alya sighed in a sad manner. Everyone in our class was bummed out that no one got tickets. And not to mention Chloe who had a temper tantrum when even her dad couldn't get tickets. Even I was a little sad that I couldn't get tickets, I don't know the band very well but I wanted to see that (Y/N) in person... 'Wait, what's up with my thoughts?' I shook my head.

*Time Skip*

I just got home after a photoshoot, heading straight to my room. After I closed my door and made sure Nathalie didn't follow me, I let Plagg out of my shirt. "Gosh! Its about time!" I ignored the kwamis complaint and went to my computer, logging in.

I went to the search engine and typed in: 'Ensnare'. The American boy band popped up and I clicked on the members. "Um... excuse me? I think you're forgetting something." Plagg flew next to me, opening his mouth. I rolled my eyes and tossed him a piece of camembert, successfully quieting him.

I turned my attention back to my monitor and clicked on the bands leader. "Hm... let's see, Y/N L/N, age 18, Ensnare's vocalist..." I was mumbling to myself as I read information about him. After a couple minutes I watched some of their music videos and covers. "His vocal range is amazing..." I mumbled to myself again.

"You seem to really be into this guy, you like him or something?" I jumped as I heard a voice in my ear. I turn to see Plagg with a smug look on his face. "W-What? N-No! I just found out about him today!" I explained, confused at my stuttering and racing heart. Plagg flew circles around my head, "Doesn't mean a thing!" He teased in a sing-song tone. "Whatever..." I waved him off.

I saw a thumbnail of a video and it looked like Y/N in an interview. The only thing was, it was titled: 'ENSNARE'S Y/N'S TYPE'. I clicked on it, curious. You could tell the video didn't start at the beginning of the interview with how it was edited.

"So," The interviewer started, "All of your fans want to know: does Y/N L/N have a secret girlfriend?"

Y/N uncomfortably laughed, "I'm not going to lie, I wasn't expecting this question."

The interviewer laughed, "C'mon! Every one wants to know!"

"Fine, fine. No, I do not."

"Wow! Really?! Why not?!"

"Haven't met the right person yet."

"Can we at least ask who your type is?"

Y/N was quiet for a bit, thinking. But he finally smirked, "Blondes."

Ba-bump

"Blondes? Like me?" I unconsciously said, making Plagg snicker in amusement.

*Time Skip*

I was eating dinner by myself in the dining room, picking at my food. "Adrien," Nathalie called out to me, "Are you alright? You seem to be thinking about something." I blushed and waved her off, "O-Oh, yeah, I'm fine." It looked like she wanted to say more, but left it at that.

In fact, I was thinking about something. More accurately, someone. I couldn't get his face or voice out of my mind! 'Y/N L/N... what are you doing to me?'

"Adrien," I look up to see the owner of the deep voice. "Father!" I stand up from my seat, pleasantly surprised and confused. "I don't have much time, but have you heard of the American band: Ensnare?" He got straight to the point. "U-Um, yeah." I answered.

"I have 4 Deluxe VIP tickets to their concert in six months, I want you to go."

"Really?!"

"There's a catch. I want you to befriend them and convince them to collaborate with me for a new fashion line. I've asked them multiple times myself, but they keep turning me down. So, go to the concert, befriend them, and convince them. If you fail, I'll be disappointed."

"...Yes, father."

"...You can give the 3 extra tickets to your friends if you would like."

"Thank you, father!"

He nodded at me and walked out. I was excited but nervous at the same time. Me and a few of my friends get to go to Ensnare's concert! But... if I can't convince them to collab with my father he'll be upset. 'One step at a time, Adrien!'

*Time Skip*

"AHHH!" Alya and Marinette screamed in excitement. "I can't believe you're taking us to see Ensnare!" Alya shouted, large smile on her face. "This is amazing! Thank you so much, Adrien!" Marinette also shouted. "Yeah man, we all really appreciate it!" Nino added, patting my shoulder. All I could do was laugh at their reactions, "It's no problem, you guys are my best friends, of course I'll take you!"

...

"Did you guys hear that?" I asked, after hearing a faint scream. Alya and Marinette snickered to themselves, "I think Chloe is a little upset you didn't ask her to go to the concert." I frowned and shrugged, "If I had an extra ticket I would."

[doamarierose-honoka]

What is it about an often-hungry and kind of lazy panda who is obsessed with kung fu that has resonated with audiences worldwide?

The Kung Fu Panda franchise — now 16 years old and four films in — centers on Po (Jack Black) who, along with his friends (voiced by a star-studded cast including Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogan and Jackie Chan), goes on adventures spanning the mystical and spiritual.

"I think people love pandas and people love kung fu, and we've got a combination," Black tells ABC News.

"The art is so great, I think we've got the best animators in the world. It's kind of like a dance between the voice acting, and these animators who've completed the performance."

For those who haven't seen the films, Po is the designated "Dragon Warrior", a kind of legendary Chosen One who can wield limitless power.

The first film focused on him figuring out who he wanted to be; he discovered more about his parents in the sequel, Kung Fu Panda 2; while Kung Fu Panda 3 saw him begin to pass on his skills to a new generation of panda cubs.

In the latest film, Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) wants Po to become the new Spiritual Leader of the Valley of the Peace, so Po must choose and anoint someone else as the new Dragon Warrior.

While Jolie, Chan and Liu don't return for this film, Bryan Cranston and James Hong reprise their roles as Po's dads. And rapper and actor Awkwafina joins the cast as Zhen, a fox burglar who crosses paths with Po during one of her thieving sprees.

When a shape-shifting sorcerer known as the Chameleon (Viola Davis) and her criminal network make themselves known, Po and Zhen team up to prevent her from getting her hands on the panda's staff of wisdom (which the Chameleon plans to use to summon Po's enemies back from the spirit realm).

"Zhen and Po are like the odd couple of the kung fu world, and it was exciting to explore their differences and watch them grow together," says Awkwafina.

"Zhen brings this scrappy, streetwise energy to the story, challenging Po in unexpected ways."

A mix of East and West

The humour and story of Kung Fu Panda is a part of why the films have charmed audiences globally.

The film series has also proven to be a massive hit in China, a highly lucrative but notoriously difficult market for Hollywood films to succeed in, because of limits the country places on foreign and Western films.

Plot threads often blend aspects of South-East Asian culture, like filial piety and duty to family, with more universal themes of working with others and having the confidence to forge your own path.

Awkwafina says it has meant a lot to her to see the franchise pay homage to Chinese culture.

"I think when [Kung Fu Panda] first came out, there wasn't a lot of movies that really took place [there], exemplifying those cultural traditions in that world," she says.

"So I'm really proud that it existed and to be a part of it now."

Black adds: "You know, any community that feels under-represented, one of the greatest ways to open up the stories to the world is to get creative.

"The ones that you've never heard before are often the most amazing ones."

The latest Kung Fu Panda also comes off the back of other successful animated films like Turning Red and Elemental, which explored similar themes of responsibility and loyalty, and growing up as part of an immigrant family.

"Those I really enjoyed, and I love Kung Fu Panda because they explore what it means to be a kid, have anxiety and what it means to be human I think in a way that's really unique," says Awkwafina.

"And I [want to] just continue watching stories that do that."

Into the future

Both actors say they related to the simple central message — to believe in yourself — that plays out across all the films.

"I definitely can think about certain times in my life, in my career, where I didn't believe in myself," Black says.

"Someone else gave me confidence and believed in me, and then I was able to push through my insecurities, and those moments and those people who gave me that strength mean so much to me, so I relate to it in that way."

Awkwafina adds, "I think it's hard to know when you're doing something right. It's hard to believe in yourself and Jack is right. It does take people to have to help you sometimes."

In terms of their characters' futures, Awkwafina says she wants Po and Zhen to "live, laugh, love".

"I'd like to see Po get even more spiritual," says Black.

"To somehow master the art of meditation and be able to create some inner peace."

Awkwafina jokingly adds: "I want to stop stealing, and we enter a program."

[alexanderflowerbird]

DAY 12

Ahh! Late again! I did write yesterday, mind, but I spent my evening with some of the folks in my writing group talking about one of their projects because they were stomped on some plot beats and we were working together to inspire them and come up with options for them to work with. It was SO MUCH FUN, and I'm so excited to see what they do with the story after this boost of inspiration! But literally after that? Went right the fuck to sleep lol. So here I am, having woken up at 4:30 AM to report on yesterday's progress lol.

I have curated my playlist for Blood Sun Territory, and it is really helping me get all of my ideas in order, and yesterday, I worked chronologically so I'm on chapter two of BST and Malachi is finding his way in the world, figuring out a game plan to get back to Felina and Mercedes. Along the way, he's having these small interactions and I honestly love writing stuff like this. I love an impactful moment between strangers. I love a sudden feeling of connection. I love a random act of kindness, even if the person isn't nice at the same time, because nice and kind are not the same thing.

It was such a pleasure to hang out with my friends and talk about the art we create together. It makes it all worth it to keep working, when people who's work you admire and respect are invested, and proud, and curious, and want to see you keep going. I am that person for a lot of people, but I have those people for me too, and man. What a gift it is. <3 I know I wax poetic about it a lot in these entries lol, but like, times are hard! It would be easy, had been easy in the past, to go to work, come home, lay down and despair. Having no real support can really kill a part of you that's vital to being the beautiful person you are. I'm glad I'm rediscovering this part of me after so much hardship. My love language? It's creation, baby lol Taglist: @tragedycoded @thelittlestspider @theskeletonprior @badscientist

If you'd like to be part of my taglist, please interact with this post!

His first home, temporary as it is, is the Clover Hotel. It’s old, but the property seems to be something of a dearly loved personal project, a building that could probably be bulldozed and forgotten but that someone with money to their name refuses to see it die like so many other classic old businesses in the city. It doesn’t have doors that open on their own or a pristine, sterile lobby like the big name hotels that are slowly swallowing up the market. It has a regular door that pushes in and has a twinkling brass bell over it. It has old sofas and an ancient but freshly varnished coffee table on one side of the space for guests to enjoy tall, west facing windows and a view that isn’t some dull, bricked up alley way but instead a small garden full of hydrangeas and herbs and the occasional bright pop of small sunflowers. He approaches the front desk, and smiles with what he hopes is a convincing level of charm at the older asian woman occupying the desk. She looks at him and smiles back. 

“Hello! Welcome, room?” Her accent is charmingly thick and a refreshing sound when Malachi has been so used to punchy east coast accents and traipsing southern drawls, American accents born from the very land. This woman, her name tag says ‘Suzy’, and her voice reminds Malachi that there’s a whole world that exists, not just this city or even this state. Maybe to find Felina and Mercedes, he’ll have to go across an ocean, see a whole new place. He’d never traveled outside of the country growing up. He nods at her question and imagines what it might be like if he discovers Felina has taken Mercedes to live in China. 

He only has backdrops in his mind that come from old kung fu movies and pictures in books, but it’s still a pretty thought and thanks to Felina’s impossible, unanticipated kindness, his mind doesn’t crumple up the vision and add it to the pile of scenarios where he faces total, devastating rejection. His anxiety does get a word in though as he imagines China’s sleek modern cities, its ancient misty mountains and beautiful villages. He has no idea how much it would cost for him to make it to China, he doesn’t know any words except the ones Leeroy had introduced to him when his occasional-lover had taken a turn towards understanding all things linguistics. ‘Ya know, Chinese is a pretty cool language, Malachi. It’s got a beautiful shape for every word, and sometimes, the word do sound sorta like another word, but you see that beautiful shape and you realize it’s a whole other word!’ Leeroy had been ecstatic to discover the idea of tones shortly after pondering how the symbols could be different but the words could sound so similar. Did people in China always read and speak at the same time? That didn’t make any sense of course, so off Leeroy had gone with a smacking kiss to Malachi’s brow to find out the answer. His reminiscing and daydreaming pop like a bubble as Suzy’s expression goes from friendly to neutral and guarded. She’s looking at the ID he’s given her to put on file. 

“This old, expired. I cannot use expired.” She tells him, setting it on the counter and sliding it towards him. He feels his stomach sink and is surprised at himself in his reluctance to admit his circumstance to this woman when he’d told Leslie at the bank the truth without really thinking about how she might react. It’s nothing to do with either of the women he realizes; when he’d come to Leslie, he’d had no hope at all for success and had been prepared to discover that his first day out of prison would be spent on the street with no food or help because he had no money worth noting to his name. In those circumstances, why not admit he’s a felon? If Leslie hadn’t been so kind, he could’ve dashed his chances right there and not found out about Felina’s money for him at all, let alone have a new bank card. He struggles to decide to take that gamble a second time. Now he has something to lose, though he isn’t sure what. He could find another hotel, or even seek out a shelter for the night, but he has stupidly, sentimentally looked around for the last few hours for a hotel he can temporarily call home, and he’s picked this one, and he wants to be here. 

“I–” He tries to begin. “I know, I’m sorry. I need to get it replaced, but, I…” He can feel his ribs tightening in his chest around his organs. Does he roll the dice and share something most people find repulsive and hope Suzy will understand? This history will follow him everywhere, and just now, it’s not even history, barely history. Suzy watches him stumble through his words with an unimpressed expression and then sighs. 

“You lazy?” She asks, disapproving. Malachi blinks at her. “You lazy.” She seems to confirm her opinion in his shocked expression. “Okay…Malachi.” She says as she checks the name from his ID. She taps it on the counter while she thinks, sighing again, before setting it down. “You listen okay? Outside, Treetop Street, left, go for numbers to 8th Av’,left again, down, down, down, looking for big red letter. Ah… Notary?” She doesn’t look at him to confirm if she’s chosen the right word. “Maybe. You take this,” She emphasizes it and shakes the ID at him a little, “Get new one. Okay?” Malachi nods, solemn and feeling guilty even if her interpretation of what he’s done is entirely wrong. There’s something almost refreshing to feel a new, much more innocent sense of shame. He reaches for his ID from between her fingers and she pulls it back from him. 

“Tomorrow. You sleep here tonight, go tomorrow. You remember?” She asks and the way she looks at him he knows he isn’t meant to just say yes. 

“Treetop, left, 8th Av’, left again, find the notary with the big red letters further down the street.” He repeats back to her, and Suzy makes a low approving noise before offering his ID back. She gets up from her seat and brings him a card key, perhaps the most modern part of the experience and likely an upgrade that the Clover had to make to compete with the security measures of other more modern hotels. Suzy is smiling again, beatific and pleased. 

“You enjoy, come tomorrow with new ID and you stay as long as you like.” She charms, and Malachi can’t help but smile back at her. 

“Thank you ma’am.” He says, dipping his head and tucking his old ID and his debit card back into his wallet. 

“Breakfast at 8, okay? Come.” She invites, and with a little wave, she lets him off the hook, just like that. He’d been scared, damn near terrified for some stupid reason, but a charming little slap on the wrist hasn’t stopped his momentum at all. He doesn’t need to correct Suzy’s opinion about him being lazy, he wants to though. He wants it more than the logical, necessity based want towards having a valid ID card. His room number is 12, and when he makes his way inside and takes a look at the old, charmingly floral decor, he feels a relief and gratitude that crushes him to the floor. He sits down heavily, and leans his back against the door, pressing his face into his hands. It’s a posture of despair, he knows, and it has the same heaviness to it even though it is something entirely opposite. Hope is just as weighty, just as devastating. 

[katie-the-bug]

My thoughts on Soul Harvest, part 2

I'm back.

The Characters:

The Tribulation Force: Rayford Steele, Christian pilot of the Antichrist; Buck Williams, reporter; Chloe Williams, Rayford's daughter and Buck's pregnant wife; Amanda Steele, Rayford's missing wife; Bruce Barnes, the group's dead pastor; Tsion Ben-Judah, Bruce's replacement; Mac McCullum, new Christian and Rayford's copilot; Ken Ritz, new Christian and Buck's pilot.

Antichrist and Friends: Nicolae Carpathia, Antichrist and Potentate of the Global Community; Leon Fortunato, Nicolae's chief yes-man; Hattie Durham, Nicolae's pregnant ex.

In Chapter 14 we hear that Hattie's staying at a facility that seems to be half abortion clinic, half women's shelter that apparently also raises unwanted children. I don't know what kind of place the authors could have based this on other than perhaps a medieval nunnery.

A few books ago the authors introduced Peter Mathews, the Catholic pope and Pontifex Maximus of "Enigma Babylon One World Faith." Only now have they caught on that a modern Pope Peter would in fact be called "Peter the Second."

While arguing with Buck, Chloe said, "I don't have a problem submitting to you..." and nothing after that registered in my brain because of how gross it is. Do I have to explain? Eew.

Chloe also asks if she's been "demoted to mascot" of the Tribulation Force, implying that the authors treated her like anything else to begin with.

In Chapter 16, Tsion gives a newly converted Ken a book called "How to Begin the Christian Life," before saying that "the Scriptures do not refer to use who become believers after the Rapture as Christians. We are referred to as tribulation saints." Distinction without a difference.

"I believe the very idea of a one-world government, or currency, or especially faith (or I should say nonfaith) is from the pit of Hell." Just in case it wasn't clear how the authors feel about human unity.

Tsion reveals that some TV channels show "real violence, actual tortures and murders" but gives no detail before he complains about witchcraft as though that's just as serious. I would like to hear more. What are they showing, how do the characters know it's real, and how is it allowed? I understand that sometimes a few background references are necessary to create depth in the worldbuilding, but this is too out of the blue to leave dangling.

We get another detail about the clinic Hattie's staying at - "apparently there's a lot of cloning and fetal tissue research going on." The authors would like to remind you that medical science is bad.

When Buck goes to get Hattie from the clinic and tries to figure out the false name she's using, he's shocked to find that she's given a Japanese name, or, as Buck's narration puts it, "using an ethnic alias." Ah yes, the two races, white and "ethnic." He's also shocked that an Asian woman is named Mary Johnson, even though he lives in America where anyone could have a name like that. What the hell, authors.

A fight scene reveals that Nicolae is officially trying to get Hattie killed. My ship is rusting away at the bottom of the ocean. :(

In Chapter 18, Rayford, who to my knowledge has never gone scuba diving before, goes scuba diving in the Tigris River to prove that his wife is NOT on a plane that crashed there during the earthquake. This is what we in the business like to call a "hare-brained scheme."

In Chapter 19, we get another scene with the two witnesses, who "warn enemies of the Messiah what is to come" but "do not use the Antichrist's name." It seems that, like Bruce and Tsion, they couldn't care less if any of their followers actually know who the Antichrist is.

Hattie reveals that Nicolae had Bruce poisoned a few books ago, which would have been nice to know had Bruce's death been at all mysterious in the first place. As it was, two books ago they figured he just died of a tropical disease and that was that. This reveal adds very little.

The reveal that Nicolae has also had Hattie poisoned has a bit more weight, but it also makes no sense. He sent people with guns to kill her - why would he need poison too? What kind of Rasputinian death did he have planned for her?

After an entire book of searching, in Chapter 20 Rayford finds Amanda dead at the bottom of a river. I toldja the authors just wanted to give Rayford another dead wife.

A hail of fire, blood, and ice comes down on the world per prophecy, and Rayford is reminded "that God is faithful." That's... not the attribute I would've had in mind for God at this point in the story, but okay.

At the very end of the book, the in-universe news tells us that a "comet" made of sulfur and the size of the Appalachian mountain range is on a collision course with Earth. Tsion tells us that, per the Bible, the impact will sink one-third of all ships and kill one-third of all marine life. If this sounds reasonable, you know nothing about impacts. Let's think - the Chicxulub impact, by an asteroid only ten kilometers wide, caused mass destruction on land and sea and sent massive amounts of debris into the atmosphere, blocking out the sun, kicking the food chain out from under the dinosaurs, and wiping out 75% of all species on Earth. An asteroid the size of a mountain range would break up at the Roche limit, sending Chicxulub-sized impacts raining down all across the globe. Anything that survived the initial impacts would have to contend with a blanket of gas and dust across the sky that would prevent photosynthesis worldwide. This would not wipe out one-third of sea life. This would wipe out all life on Earth. This book being what it is, however, the impact gets one paragraph, and then it's business as usual.

A page later and there's another asteroid coming, of similar size and slightly reduced density. This one breaks up like it realistically would, but rather than causing mass impact damage and wiping out all life on Earth for what should be a second time, its pieces merely poison a third of Earth's freshwater. That is, to put it simply, not what asteroids do.

If this book were a person I'd hit him over the head with a folding chair.

[softquietsteadylove]

what do you think which kind of music every eternal is listening to? every eternal but makkari of course

Aww, this is so cute an ask!

Okay, so I guess there are a few layers to this answer.

Ikaris, I don't think he listens to music--I don't think he lets himself have fun like that. Like I know we see him in modern clothes, but I bet he's actually that old man who doesn't have a phone and he pawns ancient artifacts for cash. But if he does indulge in music, then I think he's like a gym bro who unironically listens to that, like, 'it's about drive, it's about power' song.

Sersi actually does listen to music. She loves it! What a beautiful expression of humanity! She likes all types, all styles, all cultures and languages! I think her personal faves are indie vibes, maybe First Aid Kit? She loves the emotional music of Adele and Florence and the Machine, and she definitely listened to the ten minute version of All Too Well on repeat when it came out. Poor girly went through the longest term breakup possible. But I also think she likes, like, Maneskin, maybe some J-pop/K-pop stuff? I think she would like the idea of the large group having a family dynamic (poor thing misses home).

Sprite listens exclusively to, like, emo music, I think. And I know that's a dated term, but seriously, emo punk from the 2000s was their thing. She loves angsty love ballads, but she would never tell anyone that, ever. Because no one understands her--she's not like other immortals.

Phastos liked old music, I think. Soul and blues and jazz and he likes love songs, because he and Ben dance to them at home. He definitely says things like he doesn't 'get' music these days. Ben tries to expose him to more music but Phastos is like I've heard it all before, babe. Jack listens to overstimulating remixes of songs at home and Phastos tries to figure out how to turn off all sound in the world.

Druig is such a hipster and only likes instrumental music. I bet he listens to ancient gregorian chants. Maybe he likes some classic Celtic music, some folk stuff and classical. Maybe when he's out in the modern world he's not opposed to some punk rock. He would love MCR and Fallout Boy with Sprite back in the day, and maybe Bivattchee and Asian Kung Fu Generation.

Makkari would love all kinds of music, I think, but she loves, like, dance and EDM, because she can feel the beat and the rhythm of the remixes so well. She loves jumping and dancing around to them, and she loves watching other people having a great time dancing to them too! Every once in a while, if Druig is listening to something with earbuds or something, she'll lean against him to feel what he's listening to.

Ajak likes mom/grandma music. I don't have any better way to put it. She likes old country songs (not American nationalist propaganda, I mean c o u n t r y music). She loves doo-wop and 60s bops and old songs from the 20s. Can't Help Falling in Love with You is what she sings while doing the dishes.

Gil loves love, because he's soft and sweet. He listens to the lyrics of songs more than genre or melody. He loves ballads and love songs and slow dance numbers. He likes old vinyls and puts them on at home on an old record player and dances with Thena around the kitchen. And I mean if we're talking about different circumstances, then he loves 'girly' music. And he would never be embarrassed about that! He loves love songs, and sappy pop ballads and happy, boppy songs. Look at the man's apron!

Thena likes whatever Gil likes. She's not a lyrics girly, so if it sounds nice, she'll like it, and if Gil likes it, she'll love it. If she's popping in earbuds at the gym or something, maybe she'll listen to wordless workout remixes, but I think her taste might be a little bland otherwise (sorry).

Kingo likes listening to himself. He's that actor who sings songs for his own projects, and he listens to them all the time. But otherwise I think he likes whatever's trendy. Just listens to top trending, has broad and diverse tastes. I do think he likes pop groups because he likes learning the dances. He's a performer, y'know?

[nyasialiveshere]

Fav dramas review : Heaven's Coin

Idk how to explain the ways I love old japanese dramas, but it's truly something occasionally and randomly I want to talk about. Hardly anyone has reviewed, recapped or discussed some of my favorite stuff in the media, but... I just feel that if only one person who never heard about it or hasn' t watched it in years can learn about a beautiful piece of work. Isn't that what art is all about. Countless times I've picked up albums that never charted or flew under the radar, but somehow it was either the best thing I'd listened to in years or spoke to me so deeply and directly, I was like I'm so glad nobody ever picked up this thing. I'm so glad it collected dust for years in a bookstore or comic shop cause if not then I'd probably never find it.

Especially in the internet age where due to how for profit everything has become it's no longer easy to find out about things that are no longer for sale or that have been locked in a vault so to speak. Jdrama's was a booming industry. Japan had dominated asian cinema for a long time since the 1950s possibly even before. They are master storytellers and love tucking in messages of morals all throughout the story even if the story is presented in an amoral way.

They make it clear that even though the villain isn't ever going to be truly punished and the hero might suffer more than they ever will. Right and wrong is so obvious even a child could understand it.

p.s this review is very bias

Main characters Takumi, Aya and Shuichi (with his annoying self)

That is where Heaven's Coin come in. Loosely based off of a German fairy tale of a girl who gives away all of her coins to everyone until she is left with nothing but later given the stars in return.

First off this is taking place in the 90s the pinnacle of Dramas putting disabled characters in the forefront of television. To americans this is no big deal because we see in comparasion a lot of diversity in television. But in Japan and Asia due to discrimination it is considered taboo and a lot of time disabled characters were often not shown or ignored.

The main character Aya is amazing and is the strength of the entire show. She is shown as smart, crafty and able to think her way around situations where people underestimate her. She was extremely well written and not made into a stereotype at all. Women in this show surprisingly are not cliche like you would assume coming from a conservative country like Japan. They all have a distinct personality and go toe to toe with the male character. Not like you would see in modern shows where women are kind of masculinized in order to seem tougher than men, nor like when women catch temper tantrums to get what they want. In fact the female characters seem more level headed and it's the male characters that are more irrational and emotional. Usually acting in their own selfish interest leaving the women to pick up the pieces and figure out how to go on. Aya was abandoned as a child and had to learn how to survive through being very perceptive to emotions, facial expressions and reading lips. She doesn't let people get in her way, but has a soft heart and puts other people before her self in pretty much every situation.

I fell in love with the character after realizing she was always sacrificing herself for others even in situations where she didn't know what was going on. I don't wanna say the character was made with a feminist lens in mind, but I do think the use of female characters in the show is multifaceted. The males have more power, but the women have more strength if that makes sense.

Shuichi is nice overall, but to me he taught me that kindness and weakness is the worst combo one can have. To me his inability to make a decision always ended up hurting those who he loved most. He was selfish and with his desire to always be the good guy and seem impartial he caused destruction everywhere he went. He never stuck to anything he said and was always going back and forth trying to have it all. I believe that concerning the love triangle he was only there to keep confusing Aya. What I mean is he only went to the small country village Aya lived to mess with his father, a big city doctor, who wanted his son to take his place. Then later on when back in the city he becomes engaged to a rich heiress breaking Aya's heart.

I understand he lost his memory and everything, but the reality is he should of taken the woman he loved with him. Getting confused and falling in love with someone else is a curveball. But he should of been a man and confessed his plans to his family instead of keeping it all hidden. That right there shows that he was ashamed. Aya sadly due to believing she would never find anyone who loved her passionately fell for Shuichi because she believed he was the first and only person who would ever love and care for her, so she should take what she can get. Even after everything was settled Shuichi still couldn't be a man and do what he needed to do for Aya. But in the end Aya was abandoned as a child so she was used to being ignored and avoided. So Shuichi's lame I'll love you from afar style worked for her because it was what she was used to. Anyway personally he gets on my nerves a bit and should have left Aya alone after he got his memory back.

Last but not least, Takumi. Portrayed as the loyal son to Shuichi's prodigal son......or vice versa. He is the one who stayed in the family and did as his parents desired. He is all the more screwed up for it to. Not only is he a playboy with mother wounds, he also has dad issues. He's shown as a screwed up hopeless individual. He's emotionally volatile and takes his anger out on anyone in his way. He is also shown as the one who tries to get in the way of Aya and Shuichi's true love. He falls in instalove with Aya and immediately becomes semi obsessed with her and stops his playboy antics and even becomes more mature and sensitive for her. Believing she is an innocent woman and can redeem him. He obviously thinks she will never have any opportunities with other men, so she is stuck with him so to speak. It seems he likes that idea very much. But when he finds out his brother is her true object of affection he snaps and turns violent on both Aya and his brother. Now saying all that it might seem like the show would end there and he'd be gotten rid of like any villain but no. Despite his outburst and violence he is almost shown to be the true hero of the show. Falling deeper and deeper in love with Aya the more he becomes aware of her affection for his brother. It may be related to his insecurity about his father loving his brother more than he loved him and wanting to beat his brother. Or remembering that he never got the sweet affection from his mother as a child and wants it from Aya. It's hard to say

The show is emotionally complex and even though I hate medical drama's typically; I couldn't help but love this show. It was interesting, emotional and had a very human vibe to it.

Aya and Takumi were the most interesting because usually it's the woman in a movie or show that wants to change herself for a guy but here it's reversed. It's Takumi who behaves more like a girl with a crush concerning Aya and works hard to both communicate with her but also win her love. It's problematic, but I can see where the writers were coming from. It's supposed to be off putting and conflicting. Shuichi was quiet and reserved and Takumi was brash and loud, but in the end Shuichi ended up hurting more people with his inaction than Takumi did with his hands.

It's from an era where writers took a bit more chances with daring storytelling...7/10 it's a short show but it's so interesting and has rewatch potential. The actors played the heck out of the characters to the point where it really felt natural.

Also yes it is on available in different places on the int. There is a third season that I have never found, it looks very tropical lmao but I doubt it takes place on the beach they just did it to look cool I think. No idea where this one is but can they please film more drama's like this it looks so Blue Lagoon (I watched it on tv when I was 15 in 2015ish idk on cable and the film style is like better than they do today there's a lifetime remake but its not very good) but anyway it looks great but impossible to find.

[mixedkid-matchup]

you do not have to answer this!! I'm using you to confess my dubious feelings for the Percy Jackson series bc you also expressed like some weird feelings about it, and I kind of thought the series was untouchable bc of how much everyone I see fawns over it, and I have GOT to get this off my chest to someone who might get what I'm saying. But I have major issues with the writing/premise/series bc it's just feels so deeply colonized and it's bothered me since it FIRST came out and everyone in middle school and high school was reading it and teachers were assigning it. Like the whole premise for the Greek gods being in the US is that they follow Western "progress" and it completely disregards all the amazing things Indigenous did and our way of life, and also removes the importance of place-based culture for both Greek stories and Native peoples (like okay all the Greek stuff moved to the U.S. but wth happened to all our spiritual figures?? The story completelya cts like Native people weren't here and didn't have complex beliefs and ways of life connected to the land, and the gods were just free to take over here with no issues). As a mixed Indigenous kid it just rubs me wrong in all the worst ways and the academic systems love affair with Greek and Roman stuff and Rick Riordan's sheer popularity has been forcing this stuff in my face foreveeeerrrr 😭😭 I was surprised to see your tags about the fandom being weird before too tho since I don't interact with it, so I hope you don't mind this ask and just know I kinda feel the same way!! Ok thanks bye sorry for the rant.

BRO I HAVE HAD THIS RANT ON HAND FOR A LONG TIME ITS OKAY!!!!!!!!!

I THINK IF HEARD ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY. but you explained it way better. like when i first read percy jackson ok fine i was 11, i obviously caught onto the ableism and such but i did not catch onto this until i thought about it when i got older. you're super right. the whole thing about ww2 being caused by demigods was the weirdest shit ever i literally did not remember reading it until i read lightning thief again last year. why did hitler need to be child of hades. THAT IS QUITE LITERALLY HOW PERCY DESCRIBES HADES WHEN HE SEES HIM. LOOKING LIKE HITLER. then what you're saying how they move with the places that are the most progressive and basically take over..... like it's just ..... incredibly misplaced and insensitive.

but about the fandom being weird (its literally encouraged by riordan's book tbh), in heroes of olympus, hazel is a black girl from lousiana in the 1930s?? or 40s idk anyways i think she dies and then nico brings her back. whatever, everyone draws her lightskin and with orange hair, and super skinny, (which she's from louisana. shes darkskin and does not have "caramel" hair i hate white men sometimes.) and shes like 13 btw and in a relationship with frank whos like 16. weird as hell and everyone thinks theyre so sweet. and also rick cannot write meaningful young women. and especially not girls of color. like its WEIRD how piper is portrayed as some pick me girl she constantly feels the need to express shes not like the Aphrodite girls. and rick had to make it weird with aphrodite anyway by making them a whole stereotype of snobby boys and girls who love putting on makeup. they had drew, an asian girl & counselor of aphrodite, straight up mean to piper bc she likes jason. like for no other reason. drew only wants to participate and go on the quest because of jason. and other stereotypes like making leo, latine, be super flirty.

and lets really talk about how annoying annabeth was about the blondes are dumb stereotype because, girl we can talk about misogyny and people not letting you do things because of it, but lets also talk about how you are TWELVE, and the blonde stereotype is tired. i never liked annabeth, she was really tone deaf as someone whos half black. OH AND FRANK. they had this weird ass arc where they implied he was fat because of lack of confidence? like when he got confident he, lost weight... because of a blessing of mars? i dont even know.

like as i get older its more and more annoying to see it. i literally rolled my eyes when i saw rick talking about colorblind casting when people got mad about annabeth. he could of said anything else. how this could reconceptualize annabeth's arc around misogyny and now racism. and purposely alter her character to fit this new black annabeth. but no. people treat colorblind casting as a pinnacle of progressiveness.

[floralovebot]

Hope you don’t mind me asking but…What do you think Riven is supposed to be in terms of coded Race or ethnicity?

When it comes to winx club and what race each character is supposed to be (or at least be coded as), its genrrally not very hard to guess. Like the winx are obvious because they’re directly modeled after real celebrities, but the specialists are a little less obvious, though still fairly easy to guess. Sky and Timmy are generally assumed to be white, it’s fairly certain amongst fans that Helia is supposed to be Asian, Nabu is South Asian, and Brandon…well he’s a little on the ambiguous side but I’ve seen a good amount of people headcanon him as Latino….and y’know what…as a latina, I’ll take it along with the canon rep that Flora (and MAYBE Stella??? I say that cause Cameron Diaz is of Cuban descent on one side, so it’s possible Stella could be read as a white passing/half Hispanic/Latina) gives us.

However with all that, Riven is really unclear to me. I see headcanons vary from him being asian, latino, white, or a mix of at least two of those…and Idk what to think tbh.

LOVE THIS

And honestly, this might be a disappointing answer, but the truth is that his race is fully ambiguous in every way possible. Sometimes fans say "ambiguous", but what they really mean is "definitely true, but not explicitly canon". For example, Nabu is South Asian in that kind of ambiguous way, where it is very, very clear, but not explicitly stated. (And let's be honest, the only reason some fans consider Nabu ambiguous is because he's dating Aisha, a black woman, and they can't imagine a non-black dark-skinned man dating a black woman, but I digress...)

Riven's race, however, is actually ambiguous in its true definition.

We don't know what planet Riven is from. It's never stated or even implied. We don't know where his family is from. It's never stated or implied. We don't know anything about his culture, how he was raised (outside of likely poor and single-parented), where he lived, if he had any friends, etcetc. Compared to other characters, we really don't know much about Riven's background other than his mom left him.

Sometimes people try to figure it out. Some people use his eye shape as evidence for him being Asian, despite the fact that other canonically non-Asian characters also have more narrow eyes (Flora being the best example). Some people use his hair color as evidence that he's from Zenith, but that really means nothing when it comes to his race, and Tecna being white isn't a good defense for that. Some people use his eye color being purple and Musa's eye color being purple as evidence that he is Asian, but considering Helia's eye color is blue and there are most definitely non-Asian characters with purple eyes too, that also means nothing. He never wears culturally significant or identifiable clothing. And no, I don't think his British flag shirt is anything more than Rainbow trying to make them look fashionable and trendy.

Riven's race is truly ambiguous. His racial identity can actually be read in more than one way. And honestly, I think this lends itself to a very impactful reading on his character as a whole. We know that Riven didn't have the best childhood. We know that he doesn't have a relationship with his mother, and he never brings up his father or anyone else in his family. It's very heavily implied that Riven's relationship with his family is rocky at best and nonexistent at worst.

Now obviously, in real life, someone having a bad relationship with their family doesn't just erase their genetics. That's true even in winx club - Musa has a fraught relationship with her father for the better part of season 1, but we can still tell she's East Asian. That being said, winx club is a fictional, animated show with drawn and intentionally designed characters. Just like Flora is designed to look sweet and girly, Riven is designed to look mysterious and angsty.

I truly believe that as an audience, we're not supposed to know much about his past, and in winx club, that includes his family, his planet, and subsequently, his race and ethnicity. Riven can be seen as Asian, White, mixed, Latino, Hispanic, mostly whatever you want, and that's on purpose. Whether or not that decision is Good is debatable, but I truly do think that was Rainbow's intention with him. He's meant to be seen as mysterious in season 1, and for Rainbow, that typically translates to knowing as little about a character's true self as possible.

Personally, I do prefer asian!Riven, but that is fully just a headcanon, and any "implication" I could find in canon is going to be dubious and easy to interpret differently. To bring back a previous point, I could say his eye shape is proof that he's Asian, and many people have, but that would mean that Flora, Palladium a la glow up design, Lucy, and Thoren are all also Asian. I could try to say that him having purple eyes is proof that he's Asian, but that would mean that Roxy is also Asian (which I would actually love but considering both of her parents are canonically white, she isn't). And tbh, these are the only solid, consistent things about his character that could be seen as proof of him being Asian coded, and that's not great in comparison to characters like Musa, Nabu, or Helia. Like,, there's a reason people make entire essays on Nabu's hair, clothing, parents, class, magic, etc, and not just one-off posts about the shape of his eyes. There's a lot to work with and a lot about him that actually correlates to being South Asian. Only being able to cite Riven's eye shape is pretty shoddy when you compare him to all the other "ambiguous" characters who have a lot more evidence supporting their coded race.

Trying to make any I'm Right statement about his race or ethnicity is always going to fail, at least regarding the first three seasons, because he doesn't have any significant or consistent racial coding. Even his characterization doesn't mean much when most, if not all, of the tropes he fits into are not race-specific, and any racial stereotype he could have can all be written off as him filling the angsty/minor antagonist/redeemed character tropes.

Anyway, again I realize this probably isn't the answer you wanted. I would love to do a full meta explaining the intricacies of his racial/ethnic coding, but he really just,,, doesn't have that. And again, we could totally have a discussion on whether or not this is even Okay; if Rainbow making his race ambiguous so he seems more mysterious is Wrong or Offensive in some way. But the truth is that Riven's race is ambiguous, and that's on purpose.

[ooglywooglies]

sorry im posting a lot about race stuff today i wasnt expecting it to be a topic on my dash but i actually have been thinking about it a bit recently in terms of like, my own experiences with racism. but im kinda weird right, like i usually say that my experiences with racism are pretty like medium/mild because im asian, right asians are like the furthest up on the barrier between white and not white. east asians are just BARELY not white (especially if youre not diaspora, i will find a way to turn this into hating japan [the country not the people] as an asian)

but im in a weird spot because i live in australia, there are a LOT of asians here, because asia is literally right there, im like an 8 hour flight from vietnam which is crazy as someone who grew up disconnected from my culture on the other side of the planet (im pretty sure my grandma got send to one of those assimilation schools when she got shipped to the midwest when she fled to the US after the vietnam war but she doesnt talk about that stuff so idk)

and ive talked about some experiences with racism ive had to other asians here and theyve been like WHAT THE HELL?? because theyve hardly interacted with white people for most of their lives despite growing up in australia which is a white (british) settler colony obviously

ive dealt with a LOT of racism growing up, because i grew up in rural minnesota and wyoming and im mixed race and the white side of my family is a lot bigger and more connected than the asian side (my parents broke up like around when i was born, and my dads pretty non confrontational and avoidant so i never spent a lot of time with him growing up even though thats not what he wanted) so not only am i really really used to being the only POC in like a 10 mile radius im also used to being the only POC in my own family (a lot of racist comments ive gotten have been from my own mother, sister, grandmother, aunts, etc. bc their proximity to me makes them think its okay to treat me that way, they know me so they know i dont have the power to fight back)

and its not like i havent experienced racism in australia, ive experienced plenty and ive only been here for a handful of years, its usually in the same vein as the racism i got from the rural redneck types that im used to except maybe a little bit more tactful

like sometimes i get assumed to be japanese, or that im like a mail order bride, but its not usually "is your vagina sideways" the only time they converge is when people make comments about my people being poor/dirty/primitive, implying that we are basically monkeys or cavemen or that type of thing. yeah turns out if youre not from one of the BROWN asian countries instead of one of the cool/rich ones thats how it goes

im light skinned but ive had weird comments made about me whenever i get a tan, people tell me i look like im from a 3rd world country when i get a shade darker in the summer

ive probably talked about that a bunch on here, i kind of catch myself falling into a loop about it bc i dont really have anyone to talk TO about it, all my confidants are white and they just go "ew that sucks" which, i mean i get that thats all they really have but its not very comforting either yknow

anyway the point is im getting distracted by the dumb bullshit ive experienced bc the point was that i feel like lately ive been trying to quantify my experiences with racism to figure out "how bad it is" bc like, even with everything ive just said at least its not violence, and i dont think anyone has even ever said anything to me maliciously its always just been ignorance, and im like, LIKE I SAID IM NOT EVEN FULLY ASIAN tbh if you go by blood/dna/whatever im not even HALF asian im at least 75% white, mostly norwegian (and i like to acknowledge my norwegian heritage too, it informs a lot of that "minnesota culture" i grew up around) i just usually dont pass as white (usually if i do its bc im hanging around white people who are used to what asian people are SUPPOSED to look like, which is evidently not me, but im not sure if i actually pass as white in those settings or just "not asian" people tend to mistake me for latino a lot [so mestizo probably])

i do suspect that my poc-ness has affected my ability to get a job, more often when i was living in rural areas people tended to give me the stink eye a lot when they saw me, and theyd act kind of grossed out when i applied for jobs, i have a white name so people seem to have an assumption shattered when they meet me after seeing my name, its hard to confirm if thats real or not though. all my jobs ive ever gotten have been through nepotism :thumbsup: (theyve been really shitty horribly paying jobs though)

why am i thinking about all this am i getting distracted again, ig bc ive been thinking about the thing i said at the beginning where anti-asian racism is really mild compared to other forms of racism bc (east) asians are the closest to whiteness

i guess its still a pretty fucking wide gap though, like even pretty and privileged asians still have to deal with a bunch of the stuff that i have and i AM a pretty privileged asian person despite not being japanese or something since im on paper barely asian at all

im just thinking about the fact that its like, i go through all this and im on paper barely a poc, like imagine how much worse it must be for 1) full blooded asians 2) any brown person who isnt (east) asian 3) black and native people

im not gonna get too far into how much worse other people have it, mostly bc they can speak for themselves and this is just a personal post, ive had plenty of time to consider my place of privilege concerning people who experience racism harder than me but this post is supposed to be about people who have it better than me mainly i think

i didnt even talk about actual white passing asians, like i have a sister who is fully white passing but is just as asian as me and i didnt talk about it at all, i think mostly bc i cant really imagine what its like to have her perspective, it must be complex as well, but i have to imagine its different. and how weird it is to be so different just for having a couple of features present differently, for us to look on opposite ends of the spectrum and have a really similar genetic makeup (we are only half siblings but we have a dad in common and both of us have a white mom from the same region)

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 1.7.24

Dream 1: I got invited to a wedding. I was at home and had gotten ready and was about to leave but I was unsure of how I would get there. I was late. Then the groom showed up for some reason, at my house, and and he was going to be late too. He got into his car and I thought maybe I could ride with him there. I said, It would be weird wouldn't it, if I show up with you. He agreed, even though we were just friends. He said, Sorry and took off. So I got into my car and drove there. It was far away. I ended up leaving my car at the train station and the rest of the way, I took a train.

When I got there I had missed the ceremony and now it was just the reception part. I hadn't made it inside yet. I took out my wedding invite on my phone, which had been sent a long time ago and I realised I had never sent my RSVP so I wouldn't even be allowed in. I knew that the reception started at 9:30pm and the fireworks display was going to be at 10:30pm, so only an hour in between. Since I was not an official wedding guest, I had to go home. But I was lost. I got into some other business building and couldn't find my way out. There was some emergency that had just happened involving injured people. A girl was being wheeled in through the revolving door via a stretcher. The medical staff didn't notice me, even though I definitely shouldn't have been there. There was some kind of air-pressure thing in that particular room, to make sure that people don't get infections and they didn't notice that when I left, it didn't re-activate.

I couldn't figure out which station I'd left my car at. I wasn't sure if I should just leave it there and make my way home by some other means. I knew that my phone sometimes automatically saves where I parked my car so I checked and it was there. But for some reason I didn't follow the map and tried to my way there without it. When I inevitably got lost again but unfortunately II lost the map because I'd exited the app and never saved my 'parked car' pin. This section of the dream felt really real. It felt like I was actually awake irl and this was happening. I was walking around and thinking, is this real life?

Then I ran into some Asian dude that I recognised like an old friend and we hugged. My sister showed up and we had to find our way home together. I kept showing up to different stations and spots. I tried to recreate my steps but I was still lost. Then I was at a train station with a bunch of girls who had been at the wedding I had missed. I was explaining to them how I had never RSVP'd and we were chatting about some other stuff. Then we go onto a train which then turned into little pods that would drive us out of here. But first we were just waiting for some reason. I think we had to get 'ready' to leave. They gave us little toiletry kits with toothbrushes and toothpaste and there were sinks right on the station, next to where everyone sat. I saw beds (presumably ones we'd slept on but this didn't happen in the dream) which started self-cleaning at the touch of a button. I saw the foam, it was an inbuilt system.

Dream 2: Some high class woman chose me and two other Asian children to work for her. She sold Asian/Thai style home decor like furniture, art etc. For some reason we were just sitting in a row facing the window but the blinds were closed. I said, I know why we're here, it's because of our ethnicity/heritage. She was obviously using us to make her merchandise seem more legit. She didn't reply to me. She was unloading cupcakes and said she didn't mind if we had a cupcake as an Xmas gift. The other two kids were happy to leap up and eat it. I think I was new and she was kind of rude to me. She said my skin was spotty but I pretended not to understand what she was saying. I was taking my time to put on face oil and ignored her/the cupcakes.

[just-some-sad-kiddo]

This morning, I woke up a little before my alarm and did a little bit of journaling since I don’t like going on electronics first thing in the morning. It was nice to get some thoughts out. I’m thinking that when my Google home arrives, I’ll set it up to play some easy, gentle music in the morning. I also need to get a blindfold or something for my morning meditation because I get distracted too easily when I open my eyes but I always forget to keep them closed.

I think I want to try putting boba into the Yorkshire tea. I mean, it’s just milk tea. They just call it tea here, of course, but for me it’s milk tea. Charlotte told me that there was a good Asian food shop in York that she and her friends go to sometimes.

I need to ask Shannon if he wants to visit for Christmas. Mom said that she’d pay for his ticket if he did since Dad wouldn’t be obligated to at that point. I hope that he does decide to come since we did have a lot of fun when all of us went to England together the last time.

So, I’ve started writing my thoughts on paper during the day so that I don’t get distracted while I’m trying to work. I think I might also start doing a handwriting journal since, honestly, my handwriting could be better. 

I need to start working on my GCSE shit. That’s the English version of the SATs but I need to figure out how they work and how to study for them. I was hoping that i’d be able to find some kind of remote option for school since that’s what I’m used to, but all of the remote options don’t work for me. First off, they’re expensive as hell and second, they never have any art courses. It makes sense that you have to do art in-person but my last school experience was so miserable that I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it. I’ve really been spoiled lately with my online learning i’ve been doing for the past year. I wear what I want, eat what I want, work when I want, and I can wear my headphones so that I don’t experience any sensory overload. I can’t do pretty much any of that shit at Selby which is just fantastic. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever failed a class due to my literal disability. Oh, wait. I have. Multiple times. Of course, when I expressed my concerns to Mom, she did the thing where it’s illegal for me to be upset. Honestly, why do I tell her anything anymore? She does this every time. If I went back through my journal and looked, I’d probably find a thousand times she’s done this. I seriously need to remember not to say anything negative around her ever. She’s the only one who is allowed emotions. Who cares that I had a meltdown earlier today because Athena and Eris wouldn’t stop fighting? It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. I’m just an angsty teenage pessimist who doesn’t have any real problems. 

This house is really cold, but nobody wants to turn the heat on because of how expensive electricity is right now because of the Russia/Ukraine war. I can’t even step into the kitchen barefoot or my feet will literally freeze. Trust me, I tried it yesterday. Worst mistake of my life.

I’m really, really excited to start working. I turned in my resume today at Gingers, but I don’t really think I’ll get the job. For one, I didn’t have a UK phone number so I put Tony’s on my CV. And, since Angela wasn’t there, I didn’t have the opportunity to tell her that it was Tony’s number. It seems unprofessional to have your parents number on your CV, is it not? But, anyway, when I get my new number I’m going to apply at the list of places Tony gave me. Luckily, everything in Howden closes by 3 anyways. I want to save up money so I can perm my hair nicely and also get my workout clothes and duffle bag for the gym. I also would like to get a Squarespace subscription so I can get myself a professional website to host my work. And buy a not-shitty printer.

I went to the park. It was nice, although I did get lost on the way. I also got lost when turning in my CV. It makes things harder that everyone drives like a psycho here. Literally insane. 

The lock on the door is still fucked up so Tony called locksmith so come fix it. In the meantime, I wanted to go to the gym so Paul drove me. I would have taken the bus, but much like in Fort Collins, they stop running really early. Also, they’re really expensive and all owned by private companies that don’t communicate with eachother. Thing is, I didn’t realize I’d have to get an induction as I’d never heard of that before. We call them orientations in America, but I’d never heard of that either. In fact, it seems I’m the only one whose never heard of that because everyone else knew what was going on. Anyway, I’ve set it up for 10:00am Saturday.

The gym is near these flats which are apparently very dangerous according to Tony and Paul. They say they’ve had the most bodies they’re from drugs and people jumpin’ out of windows. I forgot that Paul was also in the medical field.

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

My opinion on Squid Game Characters

This is very diferent from my regular content but I watched this show 3 days ago and I enjoyed the fuck out of it so here we goooo!!

!!!Spoilers ahead!!!

Seong Gi-hun

Why the hell is the main character of the show underrated??? I literally don't get it.

He is the most realistic character in the show.

I know for a fact that if he is one of your favorite characters, you have daddy issues. Saying this from my own experience.

He is literally so sweet and huggable?? I love him so much<3

He cares so much for the people around him.

Extremely emotionally intelligent.

Attractive asf.

He struggles a lot, but deep down hes a good person because of his love for his daughter and his upbringing.

HE LITERALLY HAS THE WARMEST LOOK!?!? HIS EYES ARE SO KIND AND HIS SMILE IS SO SOFT.

once again I question.... Why the hell is he underrated??

The people who stan him are the coolest istg.

Am I the only one who has this internal struggle of sometimes seeing him in a fatherly way and other times simply finding him hot?? Maybe I have issues but whatever ig.

His dynamic with Sae-byeok is so sweet, he defienetly became a father figure of sorts for her.

Sang-woo didn't deserve his friendship with Gi-Hun.

I will defend this character with my life.

Sae-byeok

She rightfully gets the attention she deserves.

I literally fell in love with her at first sight, she is so pretty.

I love her to pieces.

Shes my literal girlfriend.

I love her character development so much.

HER HAIR?? I LOVE HER HAIR SO FUCKING MUCH IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY.

She had some great badass moment throughout the show, especially in the beggining.

Her motivation was one of the most valid one out of all of them.

My girl just wanted to bring her mom back from North Korea and for her brother to get out of the orphanage.

I'm happy she managed to survive many of the games but she deserved to win alongside Gi-hun.

Someone give this girl a hug.

I wish Gi-hun could've reasured her about the promise.

It makes me so sad that she got killed by a calculated and cold person. I wish that she could've died peacefully.

We all saw her in that suit right??? She looked gorgeous.

I also am so glad that her character was never wierdly sexualized in the show.

She deserves the world.

Ali Abdul

For starters, I absolutley adore this man.

He was so hard-working and dedicated himself for his little family. His boss was a dick who treated him horribly.

His hair is also extremely fluffy I love it sm.

He is extremely loyal and has a heart of gold. Sadly, that was what eventually killed him.

He was too much of a good human being for this cruel and selfish game.

His introduction was so cool!?!? He single handedly saved Gi-hun's life.

He was strong enough to survive 3 very hard and life-threatening games, it's sad that his good heart and pure trust was what killed him.

The actor did a fantastic job with Ali, I hope to see him in other projects soon.

He loved his family so much.

Ali was so considerate of other people??for example, when Sang-woo wanted him in his team, Ali looked at Gi-hun first to make sure that it was okay for him to accept without hurting anyones feelings.

The only flaw this man has was being too naive.

He is so pretty I love him so much.

He was literally such an easy character to get attached to.

I also loved the South Asian representation in K-drama media!?!? I am not South Asian myself but I personally believe it was very strong rep compared to other K-dramas!!

I literally cried so much when he died, I was full on sobbing. My mom kept calling me dramatic for it lol.

He should've won in the marble game.

Ji-Yeong

WE ONLY GET TO KNOW HER FOR TWO EPISODES BUT I IMMEDIETLY LOVED HER.

She is so fucking cute.

I love her hair and make-up sm.

She has such a carefree attitude I loved it.

Is it kind of concerning that I relate to some aspects of her backstory....?

Her commentary on religion was chefs kiss.

I wish we got to see more of her before her death.

She deserved to have a normal family and childhood.

I love how she spoke her mind with ease, including contreversial topics.

She didn't deserve to be in jail for killing her abusive father who literally killed her mother!!!

"Thank you...! For playing with me..."

Her and Sae-byeok deserved to go to Jeju island and have a girls night.

Can we talk about how selfless this girl was? She literally sacrificed herself for a person she met a few days ago.

Her smile right before she died made me cry so hard.

Joon-ho

He is so attractive... that was literally the first thing I thought when I first saw him lmfao.

Nah but besides that he is also very cool!?!? The way he infiltrated the Squid Game facilities with such ease was very intresting to watch.

The moment between him and the vip made me gag, the vip was so gross for that and im glad Joon-Ho put him in his place.

HOW TF DID HIS PHONE BATTERY LAST SO LONG WHEN HE NEVER EVEN CHARGED IT!?!?

His character was done so dirty in the end, he tried so hard to bring his brother back just for his brother to shoot him.

Call me delusional but I still do not think that he is actually dead?? We didn't actually see him die and there is a possibility he could've survived the fall since it was in the ocean and he only got shot in the shoulder.

He was strong asf, both mentally and physically.

I really enjoyed how he was pretty awkward at first when he was undercover but then he managed to adjust better overtime.

In general I hope we get to see more of him if we do get a season 2.

Cho Sang-woo

Most of his stans annoy me, im sorry.

I hate how their argument to justify his actions is that he is "realistic".

Just because a character is selfish and a bad person at core doesn't make him realistic... Sheesh y'all make me loose hope in humanity sometimes.

Sang-woo has been selfish from the very beggining, he literally stole money from clients!!

Theres nothing realistic about setting up your bestfriend to certain death in the second game like....? He was willing to go that far already?

He killed Ali without feeling any sort of guilt. He literally only flinched and acted like nothing happened, which could be blamed on the writing, but it also shows where his morals lie.

There was seriously no need for him to kill Sae-byeok, she was already injured enough, what was the point of killing her so cruely?

He literally killed the man who helped him in the glass game the moment that he wasn't any use of him.

I actually found him much more dangerous than Deok-su who was atleast transperant about his actions.

The actor did an amazing job and I love the guy who plays him!

ALSO I HATE HIS CHARACTER BUT I WILL SAY THAT HE IS ATTRACTIVE.

And I must admit the character is a very well-written and intresting one, but he is someone whos actions cannot be fully justified, or even fully understood.

Jang Deok-Su

Do I hate him? Yes.

Do I think that without him the show would be less engaging? Yes.

I find him a very intruguring character, I actually see him as a reflection of Sang-woo of sorts.

We do not talk about the bathroom scene.

I found his relationship with Mi-nyeo funny, im sorry my humor is literally that bad.

The actor actually played the part perfectly! I actually appreciate the amount of work he put into this character.

Also the actor is literally a sweetheart who posts fan edits and pictures of his cats. If you send him any death threats I swear to god-

HE HAD HIS FUNNY MOMENTS ALRIGHT?? HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WERE ALWAYS ON POINT.

But in general, his character was obviously someone I heavily disliked but also someone who was enjoyable nonetheless.

Annnnd thats a wrap for the characters I wanted to talk about!! Thank you for sticking with me til the end. Who is your favorite character in Squid Game and why? I would love to know!<3