#and then she chooses the choice opposite his. she chooses to let go and move on

[enbyjane]

The Mentalist: season 4, episode 12 - My Bloody Valentine

[klausysworld]

Hey,I like your klaus mikaelson stories very much. Can you do one in which klaus and reader(yn) were in an arrange marriage and they cant stand each other?And they slowly fall in love and at the end he gets her pregnant? As in arranged marriage I mean,something like the marriage between hayley and Jackson. And if you can please add smut,fluff,jealousy and daddy kink. Thank you

An Alliance or a Marriage?

Y/n could not believe that she was doing this.

Y/n was Jacksons sister, they always had each others backs and protected the other. So when Hayley came into Jacksons life, had him falling in love while she had feelings for Elijah Mikaelson, Y/n knew they couldn't get married. The only reason they were actually getting married was to unite the werewolf clans and to share Hayley's hybrid abilities as part of the marriage ritual.

But it would come at the cost of Jackson's happiness and most likely his life. Y/n was not stupid. She knew the price of loving a Mikaelson and it was one that Jackson could not afford and one that Y/n would not let him pay.

So without thinking, she made a fast decision.

"What if Ione of the wolves married Klaus? That way Hayley gets to be with Elijah and Klaus doesn't have to be so wary of Jackson around Hope or whatever his worry is? Wouldn't it just be easier?" She questioned and she felt everyone's gaze turn to her, most genuinely considering the possibility while Klaus looked both pissed and amused.

"I wouldn't trust anyone with Hope and under no circumstances will I be marrying anyone." He answered before storming out without another word. Jackson was second to protest then some of the other wolves.

They all went back to the bayou and tried to forget about the day.

What the wolves were unaware of were the arguments in the Mikaelson compound. Mostly between Rebekah and Niklaus. Rebekah was telling Klaus that for once, he should think of Elijah's happiness instead of only being selfish yet again. She continued to go on about how it was for Hope, how he should be the one sacrificing for Hope, not Hayley as she had already given up so much. The fight went on for hours but by morning it was settled. Niklaus would marry a wolf of his choosing.

Y/n was his choice. She was quiet but smart. Small but strong. Which meant she would be the best of his options. He knew part of her feared him, unlike some of the wolves there. She may challenge him a little but she wasn't stupid enough to truly go against him. This was proven when she silently accepted his decision.

Jackson was entirely against the entire thing. His sister was getting married to the original hybrid, moving into the beasts den and becoming apart of his twisted family. But he too kept quiet after Y/n told him it was what needed to be done. It was the only chance for everyone to walk out somewhat alive.

That was why she was walking down the aisle, Jackson unwillingly giving her away to Klaus Mikaelson before Mary began the ceremony. As the words "you may kiss your bride" left her lips, their fates were sealed. Klaus stepped forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his brides soft lips and watched as her and every other wolf in the rooms eyes lit up with golden flames, united as one.

The compound remained busy for the rest of the day, Klaus and Y/n stayed in opposite sides of the room at all times. Elijah urged his brother to at least be kind, Klaus however ignored any and all advice and instead drank the night away. Marriage was not in the cards for him. It was not what he wanted and he now knew that he was tied to this girl, a girl he harboured no feelings toward and a girl who only looked at him with distaste, for at least one lifetime. He knew the likelihood of them every liking each other was slim and he also knew that there were lots of rules in this werewolf marriage that he would have to follow in order to have the wolves protecting Hope. So he got off his face drunk, to the point where he couldn't get himself up the stairs at the end of the night.

It wasn't the best way for Y/n to find him on their first night 'together'. When she gave him that look of uncertainty and upset when she found him at the bottom of the stairs slurring his words, he just rolled his eyes and told her to piss off. But she didn't. Instead she fought against his sloppy attempts of pushing her away and instead managed to get him up the stairs and to bed. He fell asleep in seconds leaving Y/n distressed and alone on her wedding night. Instead of sleeping she went back downstairs and cleaned up the mess left over from the wedding.

Klaus had come down in the morning to find her scrubbing the corner of the room. He glanced around and noticed everywhere was spotless, his eyes travelled to the stairs and he was hit with the memory of leaning against her as she struggled to carry him up each one. Guilt bubbled in the pit of his stomach but he ignored it and made his way into the room and past her.

Y/n just stared at the nonexistent spot on the ground and tiredly rubbed the sponge against it.

Rebekah came downstairs after a little while and frowned when she saw Y/n, exhausted and leaning against the wall while her arm moved almost robotically to scratch away at the floor.

“Y/n? Darling we have maids for this” she whispered softly, supporting her new sister-in-law and guiding her to stand up and walk toward the stairs.

“I was just helping” Y/n mumbled, “wine was spilt” she stated as she glanced over to the area she thought was stained with alcohol but when Rebekah glanced it was completely clean. She lead Y/n toward Klaus’s room but paused when she noticed the mess it was in and began to realise why Y/n hadn’t been to sleep. With a soft sigh she brought the she-wolf to her bedroom and helped Y/n out of her wedding dress.

“I suppose this isn’t the way you had hoped to get out of your dress” she joked gently but Y/n didn’t look amused.

“I’d rather you than your brother” she murmured and Rebekah gave a small laugh.

“One day you won’t think that” she whispered as she grabbed some of her pyjamas and passed them to Y/n. “He’ll become kinder after some time, it’ll be a difficult ride but you’ll get there. Besides he must already like you to have chosen you out of all the wolves” she convinced but Y/n just scoffed as she crawled into Rebekah’s bed and let her head hit the pillow

“Lucky me.” She quipped and Bekah hummed.

“I’ll get him to let you rest for today” she told her as she exited the room and let the girl sleep in her room for the day.

Klaus claimed not to care what Y/n did with her time, where she went or who she was with but Rebekah reminded him that she was his wife. Whether he was happy about or not.

“You either need to set her up a nice room for her to have for herself or you need to actually be her husband and have her feel comfortable enough to share one with you. My god Niklaus, it’s not like there’s anything wrong with her. It won’t give you a disease if you smile at the poor girl.” She scowled and Klaus glared but kept his trap shut.

Klaus knew Y/n was beautiful. She was delicate little thing, from what he had seen she could be very sensitive for a werewolf at times. But he knew she had a certain fire in her. He wondered what he would have to do to light that flame and have her snap at him. He wondered if her fear would override that anger.

It was much later in the day when he went to check on his new wife. Part of him worried she had ran away but he knew that she would stay, for the survival of her pack.

He found her curled up in his sisters pyjamas and bed. Reluctantly he picked her up and brought her to his room, tucking her into his bed and leaving her to rest there instead. After all, his bed was where she belonged now.

When evening came around, he made his way back to his room. As soon as he started getting ready for bed, Y/n forced herself up despite her still clearly needing sleep. He sighed as she left the room, ignoring his presence and going downstairs for the rest of the night.

Some days she would stay downstairs and behave almost zombie like as she tried to keep her mind running and eyes open, other times she just went to sleep while she knew Klaus was busy.

It annoyed him to no end but at the same time he was relieved that he never had to really see or speak to her. Still, whether either of them liked it, she was his wife and the fact that she wouldn’t stand in the same room as him was not something he appreciated.

So he did what he assumed to be best.

Forced her to spend time with him.

Often it would be in a painful silence as he stared her down and made sure she wouldn’t get up and leave. However after some time, she would have little conversations with him so that he would be sated and leave her alone for a little while later.

When in front of the other wolves, Klaus would become a different person. He would make sure to kiss Y/n’s cheek or head, hold her waist or hand. One because he had to make it seem as though they were some what happy so that the wolves would not turn on him and two because he liked to piss Jackson off. He took amusement in how the wolf would growl and scrunch his face up in distaste.

Y/n knew what Klaus was doing but didn’t see the point in arguing or getting all stressed about it, besides it only happened every now and then so it didn’t matter much.

However when Klaus began accidentally doing the little gestures when others weren’t around, as though it were his second nature, Y/n felt confused. She didn’t understand his motifs or what he wanted from her.

Rebekah told Y/n that he didn’t want anything, that he was just warming to her but Y/n was still skeptical. Even when Rebekah came into her room grinning and held out a piece of paper with a beautifully sketched version of Y/n’s face.

“He must’ve been bored out of his mind” Y/n mumbled dismissively as she handed the drawing back to Rebekah who rolled her eyes.

“He likes you” she argued and Y/n scoffed.

“He does not. He just wants me to do whatever he says”she countered and the mikaelson sister sighed

“He isn’t all bad, you know?” Bekah questioned

“Sure he isn’t. He’s quite lovely towards his daughter” she agreed and Rebekah hummed as she watched Y/n pretend to have no clue about Niklaus’s thoughts or feelings.

Klaus wouldn’t admit that he had become accustomed to Y/n’s presence and began to want it more often. He wasn’t too sure why but he had taken a fancying to her, he just had.

And he most certainly didn’t like when other people took a fancying to her as well. Not at all.

Now he knew that she would never peruse anything with anyone else, that would break the magical marriage binding the wolves together but it didn’t mean he didn’t get angry. Especially when another wolf could make her smile or blush better than he could. His teeth would bring, jaw would clench and his eyes would flicker gold.

It fuelled something ugly and twisted inside him.

Jealousy.

“Jealousy is a weak man’s disease” Niklaus had told Elijah many times over the centuries. “A man who knows his worth and his strength never had to fear that his girl would stray. Jealously means they are nothing. I am not nothing, I never will be.”

And yet, as soon as Y/n’s attention was given to an attractive werewolf, Klaus would feel as though he was nothing. He would feel that weakness that he loathed so deeply.

The only way to diminish that jealousy was to eliminate the threat. To pick away at the weakness piece by piece until only strength was left.

But that didn’t go well.

When Klaus killed a werewolf, Y/n went ballistic. It was the first time she had actually yelled at him, expressed her anger and threatened his position.

“It’s like you’re actually a fool! You hurt my pack and they will not protect you nor your child, this marriage will be pointless and finished-“ she ranted and his anger bubbled.

“This marriage will not end just because our pack says so” he growled and she glared at him, her pointer finger jabbed at his chest aggressively and it took everything within him not to snap it in half.

“It is hardly a marriage and it had only happened for the benefit of my pack and for your daughter. It is you that has a hundred enemies banging down the door at night and it will be you that suffers if you do not have the protection that I offer you.” She snapped and he sneered in her face. He wanted to kill her in that moment however at the same time, for whatever reason, he had never been more attracted to her. His wolf wanted to force her into submission. To spank and pound her until she admitted that she was his and wouldn’t ever threaten to leave him again. But he was also beyond furious at the possibility of his daughter’s life being on the line and so stormed past her before he would harm her.

He ignored her mutterings of how pathetic he was and locked himself in his arm room which was utterly destroyed by the end of the hour due to his never ending rage.

The next morning he had expected a pack of wolves to be stood at his door, angry and threatening. However he found them all sat at their long table, Y/n was at the head informing them that they had ‘found’ the pack member already dead and had brought him here so that they may take care of his body accordingly.

She lied for Klaus.

She let her family believe that it was someone else who had killed the wolf. When they accused Klaus, she snapped back at them that he was with her all day and had helped her take care of the body.

Y/n gave Klaus a look that dared him to contradict her words but he didn’t utter a word. He just stood at her side and placed a hand on her shoulder as he listened to the others discuss the traditional funeral that the wolf deserved.

Once they left, Y/n walked straight past Klaus and to her bedroom. She was unwilling to speak with her for the next few days. The only time she would was regarding Hope.

The small toddler had taken a strong liking to Y/n and often asked for her. Nobody could not love Hope once they spent some time with her so Y/n was always happy to have the baby in her arms.

Klaus too, very much enjoyed the sight of his wife holding his child. His mind began to spin together images of Y/n pregnant with his child. His wolf craved the thought. He could imagine how beautifully round her stomach would be and how he would press his hands to the bump while nuzzling into her hair.

And then he would think of how he would get her pregnant. She would be so gorgeous sprawled out in his bed.

Since their wedding day she had been in her own room but now Klaus desperately wanted her in his.

He wanted to be inside her. To claim her. To love her.

Never did he think he would love her.

Then again, never did he think he would be getting married or having a baby.

But all of those things had happened and he wouldn’t take them back. Perhaps he might’ve gone about them a little differently but he would have still wanted them to happen.

He told her that once.

One night when they were having dinner.

Somehow he had managed to convince her to share a meal with him and him alone. She couldn’t be bothered to fight over it so complied.

Y/n hadn’t expected him to actually make such an effort. Or to have been so lovely the entire evening. It was clear he wanted to impress her and to engage her, and he had but she didn’t understand why.

Until he told her of how he wouldn’t have changed things,not fully. He had admitted to her that he was somewhat happy with the fact that they were married. He didn’t say he loved her, he knew that would through her off but he made it obvious that he liked her much more than he had initially expressed.

She wasn’t so sure how to respond to him.

Y/n had thought that he was only nicer to her lately because he too was avoiding arguments but she hadn’t truly believed it was because he was being genuine.

Klaus noticed the frown on her face and looked down at his plate. “It’s a little silly I suppose” he muttered to himself, he couldn’t help the deflated feeling that travelled through him as he placed his fork down. “Neither of us wanted this marriage” he mumbled while standing up from his seat making his chair scrape against the floor with a painful sound.

Y/n felt the guilt sink in and she quickly got up also and rounded the table as he started to walk away. “Klaus,” she called softly, reaching out for his hand.

His eyes fluttered when she held onto his hand, he hadn’t felt the softness of her touch since their first and only kiss of their relationship from their wedding day.

He glanced to her and reluctantly shrugged her off. “No it doesn’t matter, I was being a fool” he argued and kept walking.

Y/n sighed to herself and rubbed her hands down her face in frustration.

The next morning Klaus ignored her, barely looked at her even.

It was later that day that she finally caught his attention and pulled him off into another room.

“Klaus” she murmured in annoyance when he went to open the door she had just pushed shut. “You’re behaving like a child” she tutted and he growled. “Would you just stop?” She told him and he glared at her.

“What do you want?” He asked, not bothering to soften his tone which made her frown again.

“I want you to talk to me” she whispered and he narrowed his eyes.

“You never want to talk to me.” he snapped, “you only want to because I made a stupid mistake”

“It wasn’t a mistake” she told him, her tone much gentler than his. “I just wasn’t expecting it”

“Why? Because it’s so shocking that I could possibly feel something-“

“God, Klaus no. You know I dont think you’re a heartless monster-“

“That strongly contradicts things you’ve said in the past-“ he argued and she made a sound of frustration.

“Well I’ve changed my mind” she told him and his jaw tightened. “Klaus I’m serious. I know you now, I’ve seen you”

“Then what is it about me that you cannot love?” He whispered and her eyes softened further. They stared at each other until Y/n stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. Her arms went around his midsection and his went over her shoulders.

“It isn’t that I can’t” she mumbled and he closed his eyes

“You just don’t want to” he whispered but she still shook her head.

“I just don’t know how to” she corrected and he hummed quietly.

“But I love you” he uttered and she nodded.

“I know that now” she agreed “and I’ll make sure that I take that into consideration but Klaus, you can’t just expect that I’ll suddenly be all over you and madly in love” she told him and he frowned.

“Why not?” He asked and she scoffed softly. For centuries woman had been falling at his feet but the one woman that he married wouldn’t?

“Because the world doesn’t revolve around you?” She whispered, a little laugh in her voice that made him a little annoyed at first but when he saw her face he couldn’t help but laugh a little bit with her. Eventually he sighed and looked down with a small smile and a nod.

“I’ll earn your affections” he promised, kissing her forehead before exiting the room.

And from that day, he tried his very best to do just that.

Though of course they still had their arguments and disagreements, now he would be the first to apologise or to admit his wrong doings.

And slowly, like he had hoped, Y/n began to love him too.

Rebekah, Elijah, Hayley, Jackson and all the other wolves began to notice the much softer side to them both when they touched to spoke to each together. Some were happier than others about the change in dynamics between the two.

Jackson for one, was very put off when Klaus kissed his sister in front of everyone. What was worse was that she kissed him back and asked him to grab her a drink. They behaved like a real married couple. The wolves didn’t like it.

Some of them went as far to verbalise their opinions but Klaus’s siblings were quick to shut them up before they could upset Y/n. They reminded them that it was in the best interests of everyone that the two got along rather than Y/n living a miserable life just for the benefit of the pack. Eventually the majority agreed and kept quiet.

Jackson was most concerned.

Especially when he came round to visit and found Y/n sprawled across Klaus’s lap while reading a book..

“Y/n” he called, his gaze hard as he watched her lift her head and smile before getting up and going out for lunch with her brother. He expressed his worries and she assured him that Klaus was much better now and that she felt that she could love him. Jackson knew that her using the word ‘could’ was solely for his benefit. She wanted to say that she did love him.

With a small sigh he nodded and told her to just be happy and thanked her once more for everything she had done for him and their family.

When Y/n came home Klaus had made her a bubble bath for her to relax in. She laid in the water for a while before getting changed into comfy clothes and wondering downstairs. Klaus was in the kitchen grating Parmesan cheese over two dishes of pasta.

She smiled and sat at the table quietly, smiling at him when he placed the bowl infront of her before sitting down opposite with his own dish.

Klaus twisted his fork in the spaghetti and asked how her day with Jackson was. They chatted while they ate before loading the dishwasher and heading upstairs.

Y/n had been sleeping in his room lately. Mostly because they would accidentally fall asleep beside each-other when watching a film before bed but then Klaus asked if she would feel comfortable sharing a room with him and she agreed.

So this time they naturally just went to Klaus’s room or rather their room.

His eyes watched as she disappeared into the bathroom, a soft hum left her and her hips swayed gently. The tap started running which meant she was brushing her teeth and he followed her in and grabbed his own toothbrush to do the same. He glanced at her in the mirror as she focused on her mouth. He cleared his throat and finished cleaning up before kissing her head and going into their room to get changed into his sleep pants which he had only been wearing because he wasn’t sure if she would be comfortable with him in only briefs.

Klaus was unaware of how Y/n would imagine his naked body against hers, pressing and sliding against hers while they panted beneath the sheets of their bed.

It was why she started wearing tinier pyjamas to bed, in hopes it would entice him that extra bit.

The little shorts would allow him a glimpse of her ass, as though it was teasing him. And the little matching vest top would wrap around her upper body perfectly.

Klaus sat down on the bed and watched as she walked back in. His eyes glanced to wear her taut nipples would press against the Cotten of her clothes down to her long bare legs that he desperately wanted to bury between.

She let out a yawn as she slid into bed beside him and beneath the covers. He pulled her closer so that their bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces and sighed quietly as though having her touch soothed something inside of him.

“Thanks for tonight” she whispered as she leaned up and kissed his lips before laying her head down on her pillow. Klaus hummed and laid down with her.

“Thank you for having dinner with me again” he smiled and she returned it, her hand moved to caress his gently and he held onto hers tenderly.

“You don’t have to thank me for that, I love having dinner with you” she told him and his eyes flickered between hers as he took in her words because they both knew what she was actually saying.

“You do?” He whispered and she nodded.

“I do.”

Klaus kissed her again, for a few seconds longer this time. Just as he pulled his lips away from hers, she pushed them back together with a little more force. He groaned softly, his hand sliding down her back and over the curve of her ass to grip the back of her thigh and lift her leg up so her knee slide over his hip. His hand slid up under her shorts to feel the soft warmth of her pussy against his fingers.

Y/n moaned quietly against his mouth. Both her hands caressed his neck gently before one moved lower. Klaus grunted softly and pulled away from their kiss as he felt her hand cup his erection through his pants.

Their eyes locked as both their hands moved slowly, teasingly.

A small whimper left Y/n as Klaus’s fingers rubbed over her clit. She brought her hand under the waistband of his pants and wrapped her fingers around his cock. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip as she felt the length and thickness of him. Klaus’s mouth fell open slightly as he breathed shallowly.

Her hand pumped his cock slowly as he slipped a finger inside her. His thumb glided over her sensitive little bud, his eyes urging her to please move her hand faster. She complied and stroked him quicker, squeezing as she went.

His hips thrust against her hand while two fingers curled inside her to find her spot.

The whole room became hot and dark as the night deepened and the blankets were pulled over their heads to make them feel closer. Their breathing mixed together and little moans left them both as their hands moved faster.

Their mouths moved together sloppily as moans vibrated from both of them and their body moved in time to meet the other’s hand.

Y/n went first, her neck arched making Klaus move his lips down to suck along her throat while his hips thrust and his fingers fucked her fast. He panted as her cry of pleasure left her and he felt her pussy clamp down and release. It only took a few more squeezes of her hand around his cock for him to cum across her stomach.

They both lay, breathing heavily and looking at eachother. Y/n’s eyes squinted to see him in the dark, his hands were moving her onto her back so he could slot on top of her. Her thighs were nudged open and a gasp left her as the head of his cock started to push into her.

Klaus leaned down and kissed her again, deepening it in seconds so he could taste her while his cock finally felt the soft, wet warmth that he had longed for.

A strained cry of relief left her and her back arched off the bed as he filled her completely. His hands slid up her body and scrunched her shirt up above her breasts so that he could lean down and wrap his lips round one of her nipples.

“Klaus” she whimpered as his hips thrust slowly and his tongue flicked teasingly. He moaned softly around the bud before sucking it between his teeth. He released it with a pop before kissing up along her chest and throat until he took her lips to his. She kissed him back hungrily, accepting his tongue into her mouth without any resistance as his hips rolled faster into her.

He only pulled away from her lips when her pussy went unbearably tight on his cock, he let out a loud groan as he fucked into her as quickly as he could.

The harsh slap of his skin meeting hers repeated through the room alongside her moans for more. Klaus could feel himself getting closer to cumming and he was determined to fill her up. He wanted her to carry his next child.

His tongue traced the shell of her ear as she cried out and his fingers reached between her legs to rub at her clit until she was crying to cum.

“Shh sweetheart” he purred to her, “let me fill you” he whispered and the realisation of what he meant dawned on her.

“Klaus” she whimpered as she felt his cock release inside her. His hips slowed but didn’t stop as his cock softened momentarily before hardening again inside of her still.

He grunted softly as he glanced down at her, his fingers gently rolled over her clit while watching his cock slide in and out of her. He could see his cum spilling out of her and he desperately tried to fuck it back inside.

“I want you to be full of my child” he muttered to her and she moaned softly, her hand lifted to cup his cheek to draw his attention to her eyes.

"I love you" she whispered and he groaned quietly as he kissed her lips just briefly so she could speak again, "and I'll love our children" she told him making his hips buck roughly into her. She moaned in response and wrapped her arms around his neck while resting her head against his. "You''ll be such a good daddy to them" she murmured and a low growl rumbled through his chest as he took the praise and thrived off of it.

Y/n felt his pace quicken and her pleasure heighten making her kiss across his cheek to his ear slowly, "Please daddy?" she purred while her cunt clenched repeatedly and her lower stomach twisted into a series of knots. "Please give me your babies" she begged and he couldn't stop from snapping. His mind and body went haywire making her scream his name. Her body was practically vibrating as her body met his for the hundredth time and her head went back allowing his mouth to reattach onto her neck.

Her eyes rolled back when his teeth sunk into her throat.

Bliss rolled through both of them until their bodies were a heated, sweaty mess amongst the sheets.

His hand held the back of her head holding her face into his chest as they panted heavily. Her eyes closed as she felt him stroke her hair soothingly while he slid his cock out of her and caressed her swollen clit ever so gently with his thumb.

Y/n whimpered weakly and he smiled as he glanced down to watch her brows furrow together while her hips slowly rode the pad of his finger until one last cry left her alongside another orgasm.

Once he had ensured she was finished, he cleaned them both up and then their bed before dropping her down onto the fresh bedding and taking warmth in her giggle when she reached out and pulled him to lay beside her.

Klaus kept her snuggled up to him all night and into the next morning before reluctantly getting up and going downstairs to join the rest of the family.

He knew that everything was finally working out.

[leclerity]

just another stranger

Charles Leclerc x Ex-Girlfriend!Reader count: 1.4k words summary: After Charles's win in Monaco, he seeks you out, to mend things. a/n: everybody cried at the monaco gp but let's cry some more! (happy ending)

He wins in Monaco. You knew he would—it was only a matter of time—but you always thought you’d be by his side when he won.

Yet here you are, in your friend’s apartment, watching him as if you were just another stranger to him.

“He won,” your friend says, a moment too soon, and then: “CHARLES LECLERC WON IN MONACO!”

The room erupts into cheers and you’re watching half the race playing on the TV, half the track from the window, hearing the roars of the audience match those of your heart. Your friend hugs you and the rest of your friends are screaming, popping champagne as if they were the ones in the car, not your ex-boyfriend.

You feel an arm around your shoulders – it’s your best friend. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

“Promise,” you lie. “I’m fine.”

She goes away and you lean out of the window, hoping to catch the sight of his car passing by. If he drives slowly enough, if he remembers that this is where your best friend’s apartment is, if he looks up… You tell yourself not to hope, but your heart thumps in your chest, anyway.

The roars of the crowd come before the car, and then you see him – the striking red car with 16 stuck to the front. You’ve been here before—in Monaco, with him, in the paddock—yet now you’re watching him from a distance. It was his choice, all those months ago, but your final word.

He doesn’t look up.

Not that you see, anyway.

The victory lap finishes and your friends all rush to the couch to watch the podium, even though you can just about see if from the window. It’s not close enough to see anything more than tiny figures, dressed in splotches of colour, but it makes it just a little more real.

The podium comes and goes. You tear up, on the balcony, shifting between looking at the events in real life and on the TV. There’s the tiny voice in the back of your head, wondering if he’s wondering about you, too, but you try to push it down.

Still, on the podium, even with tears of joy in his eyes, you see him searching the crowd. They’ve already shown his family and most of his friends are down there and he knows it, and the voice suggests he might be looking for you, too.

“Let’s go out,” your friend says. “Celebrate.”

“I think I’ll sit this one out.”

“You don’t want to meet him by chance? Congratulate him yourself?”

You give her a look that tells her it’s just about the last thing you want.

Eventually, your friends leave, and you’re left by yourself, scrolling social media. He’s everywhere—all your friends from Monaco are posting about it, even those you haven’t seen since you moved away—and his face stares at you, guilt brewing in your stomach.

You’d made him choose.

He didn’t choose you.

When the door buzzes, you think it’s your friend who forgot her key—they’ve been out for a couple of hours now and they’d be at least a few drinks down—yet when you buzz them up and open the door…

It’s he who stares back at you.

“Hi, Y/N,” he says. “Can we talk?”

You let him in. He sits on the couch, still wearing his Ferrari shirt,

“I thought you’d have gotten changed by now.”

Charles shakes his head. “I, uh… I came straight here.”

You sit down, opposite of him. Through the open window, you can hear life from the streets of Monaco – loud, drunk people, celebrating the win as if it were their own. Your friends are there, amongst those people, but you…

“Why?”

“I know you moved away,” he says. “And I remember where your friend lives. And I hoped…”

He doesn’t finish. You see the cogs turning—the words flying around his brain, refusing to come out—and you smile at him. “Congratulations.”

He sighs. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“You’re not happy?”

“No.” Charles looks at you, his eyes crystal clear, and you know exactly what he’s going to say. “How could I be, without you?”

“Charles—”

“How many times have we spoken about this? About the win, at home, with you by my side?”

Your body shudders as memories flood you: the nights spent together, whispering about it in the dark… The dream of him driving up the car and running up to kiss you, knowing that you made it… The promise of being there to watch him step on the podium as the anthem is played…

The guilt grows bigger, and you stifle a sob.

Charles shakes his head. “I wish you were there. I wish I hadn’t pushed you away. I wish I’d appreciated you more.”

But you didn’t, you want to say, but you don’t.

Old you would. Old you wanted to be the first, the priority, the number one to the great Charles Leclerc – only to always fall second, behind racing. Behind the car. Behind practice. Behind excercise. There was less and less time made for you, until you told him to choose.

He puts a hand on your knee. “I know this isn’t fair, but it’s been nearly a year, and I… I was wrong. I was wrong, okay? Coming home to an empty bed, not knowing how your day’s been, not seeing you in the paddock every race, Y/N, it’s killing me.”

It’s killing me, too, you want to say, but you don’t. You can’t—won’t—admit that out loud.

Someone’s laughter pierces through the night. Charles’s eyes dart to the window before they’re right back on you and he moves closer, and the part of your thighs touching shocks you to the core.

You try to remind yourself you’re just another stranger to him. You weren’t worth more than racing to him then, you’re not worth—

“You’re everything to me,” he whispers.

A tear falls down your cheek – he wipes it away before you can, and then he’s looking at your lips with water welling up in his eyes, too.

“Charles…”

“I wish I could—I want to go back to a time before it was too late. I want to fix things. I want to do it right, and not be a damn fool again.”

His hands are on your cheek and you can feel his breath on your lips – all it would take is for you to lean in. Just a little movement, just a little show of faith. You whisper his name again, this time no more than a breath.

You feel him sigh. “It’s not winning if it’s not with you.”

Your lips are on his, tentative then desperate, trying to make up for all the words you can’t bright yourself to stay. His hands are on your cheeks, then your waist, then your back, and you feel like he’s touching you all over just to make sure you’re real, that he’s truly holding you, and not a dream.

You don’t say that the past few months have been the worst of your life. You don’t say that you were selfish, and that maybe you failed to account for who he is, and always will be—a racer—and maybe you were the one who was asking too much from him. Maybe you’d rather be second to him, than be anyone else’s first.

And maybe you’ve known this all along, but admitting it was too much – until today.

Until now.

The kiss comes to a close and Charles pulls you into him, skin on skin, and you’re melting into his arms. He places kisses all over your hair, your face, your neck and your chest, not letting go of you even for a moment.

Later in the night, when you’re lying in your friend’s spare bed, you see the winner’s smile for the first time as he kisses you yet again. Monaco is alive outside, with the night still a long way to go, but partying couldn’t measure up to the electricity surging from his touch.

“Y/N,” he says.

“Mhm?”

His thumb traces your lips. You’ve been here before—a million times—but this time, it’s different. It’s old and new, fresh and familiar, and just a little, you start letting yourself hope again.

“Now, I feel like I’ve finally won.”

[reunionatdawn]

Weighing in on ATLA shipping discourse

Iroh: You're not the man you used to be, Zuko. You are stronger and wiser and freer than you have ever been. And now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny. It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good.

Why did Zuko have a fever after decided to let go of his Blue Spirit mask? Well, the imagery suggested that he experienced a Kundalini awakening. A Kundalini awakening is a profound spiritual experience that involves the activation and rising of Kundalini energy, located at the base of the spine. In Hindu and yogic traditions, Kundalini is often depicted as a coiled serpent, symbolizing dormant spiritual potential.

Ida and Pingala are the two energy channels that run alongside the spinal column and correspond to the left and right sides of the body, respectively. Ida is associated with the feminine or yin aspect. It is linked to qualities such as calmness, receptivity, intuition, and nurturing. It is also associated with the moon, coolness, and the element of water.

Pingala represents the masculine or yang aspect. It is associated with qualities such as activity, dynamism, alertness, and willpower. It is associated with the sun, warmth, and the element of fire. In the yogic tradition, the balance and harmonization of Ida and Pingala are considered essential for achieving physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.

Once the two energies combine at the crown chakra, a person's consciousness is supposed to transcend duality. What does that mean, exactly? It means to move beyond the perception of reality as consisting of opposing or dualistic concepts, such as good and bad, light and dark, right and wrong, or self and other. You understand that these apparent opposites are part of the same unified whole and are interconnected in a deeper, more profound way.

"I was head writer of ATLA, and this is exactly how I see it! There was some controversy that Zuko made the "wrong choice" at the end of season 2. A lot of fans were ANGRY! But it had to be this way… we wanted him to get everything he thought he wanted. The triumphant return. His father's respect, and a seat at his right hand. Only then could Zuko truly outgrow these things, and choose to do the right thing in a meaningful way." (Aaron Ehasz)

So, the symbolism definitely favors Zutara in that respect. Katara learned through Zuko that the Fire Nation is not innately evil. Even though he hurt her with his "wrong" decision, part of her character arc was understanding why he did it and being able to forgive him. And because he made that choice, she could trauma-dump onto him and that led to her gaining closure about her mother's death.

"I was head writer of ATLA. Azula and Zuko's relationship was not always well understood, even by the team internally. Azula loved Zuko, more than anyone save her father. She also felt competitive with him for their parents' attention of course, but since she had alienated herself from her mother, she focused her energy on pleasing dad… which of course meant acting in more and more intense and possibly evil ways." "By the end of the series, of course, her loss of her friends shatters the part of her identity that she could somehow control affection and love through intimidation. As a result she spirals… I did however intend to leave a kernel of humanity, and had we made a season 4 Azula would have completely bottomed and we would have explored the possibility of a path to redemption. True story!" (Aaron Ehasz)

But it's not even just Zutara. What I found interesting was that Azula was the blue dragon and Iroh the red dragon. Azula was crazy and needed to go down, right? By siding with his sister, you're meant to think that Zuko chose "evil" instead of "good". But it looks like some of the writers meant for it to be more complicated than that. There was no "good" or "evil" choice. Azula had a softer "yin" side, too.

Zuko wanted to get along with his sister. He did not want to kill her, even though Iroh thought that was the only option. The fact that Azula never got her redemption arc did a massive disservice to Zuko's arc as well. The fact that Azula had good in her is exactly why Zuko's choice in BSS couldn't truly be called "wrong" or "evil".

Azula loved Zuko and that idea wasn't conveyed very well in the cartoon. She was the one person on that beach who actually did understand him. She was jealous that Zuko chose the Avatar over her. And she knew that targeting Katara with her lightning was the best way to hurt Zuko. Katara found a non-lethal way to defeat Azula for Zuko's sake. Because after seeing how hard it was for him to fight her, she finally understood why he made his choice in Ba Sing Se.

"[Azula] had not bottomed in the end of season 3, she had further to go. At the deepest moment in her own abyss she would have found: Zuko. Despite it all, her brother Zuko would be there for her. Believing in her, sticking by her, doing his best to understand and help her hold her pain that she can no longer hold alone. Zuko — patient, forgiving, and unconditionally loving – all strengths he gained from Uncle Iroh." "And I always imagined that after coming out the other side, she would be one of those people who hilariously over-shares her own feelings all the time, and that she would be a bit over-apologetic. Like a Canadian version of Azula." (Aaron Ehasz)

The first episode of Book 3 was called The Awakening. Aang literally awakened to the energy twisted up in the middle of his back. He did not complete his spiritual transformation. The Kundalini energy did not reach his crown chakra. It was still blocked because he had an attachment to Katara that he hadn't worked through yet.

Zuko's awakening was figurative. Mai didn't understand how he felt. Symbolically, when she turned his head to kiss him, it showed the audience the scarred side of his face. When Zuko lied his sister, the unscarred side of his face was shown. I suspect that the writer for the episode, Aaron Ehasz, wanted to hint that Zuko did still feel a connection to Katara and didn't want Azula going after her and Aang.

Zuko in The Crossroads of Destiny was not supposed to be the same Zuko from The Avatar State. Both versions of Zuko still wanted to go home. But 201 Zuko was motivated more by selfish attachment. 220 Zuko was more motivated by love. He loved Azula unconditionally. Even with all of her twisted, ugly, and cruel behavior. His consciousness had transcended the duality of Iroh and Azula being opposites where one is "bad" and the other is "good". During The Beach he was fantasizing about a time when Iroh played with both of them as little kids. Back when they were all a family.

Mai: You know what will make you feel better? Ordering some servants around. I might be hungry for a whole tray of fruit tarts. And maybe a little palanquin ride around town. Double time.

I don't dislike Mai. I think she is an interesting character who was not a bad person or anything. I just thought she served a very specific narrative purpose. She was there to show how Zuko wasn't compatible with his old lifestyle anymore.

Mai wanted a typical socialite boyfriend. They really didn't get along too well or have much to say to each other during The Beach. She didn't like him when he started talking about his trauma and showed his uglier side. Zuko was insecure and jealous because he was not even sure if she really liked him. And she didn't even know the person he was after his banishment, only the person he was as a child. When he turned his head away from her, his unscarred side was shown.

Zuko: When I got to the meeting, everyone welcomed me. My father had saved me a seat. He wanted me next to him. I was literally at his right hand. Mai: Zuko, that's wonderful! You must be happy. Zuko: During the meeting, I was the perfect prince. The son my father wanted. But I wasn't me.

He walked out of that war meeting with the scarred side showing. Mai didn't love Zuko. She loved the perfect prince. The fantasy she built up in her head and the role Zuko was acting out at the start of the episode when he was ordering her the fancy fruit tarts.

Mai: I guess you just don't know people as well as you think you do. You miscalculated. I love Zuko more than I fear you.

Mai stood up to Azula to save Zuko, and she genuinely believed she loved him. But he left her behind to be with his new companions. If not for Ty Lee, she would have died. That should have been the end of that relationship. I thought it was very weird that they got back together. The NATLA writers should definitely find a different way to conclude Mai and Ty Lee's character arcs. Especially Mai. She deserved a more dignified ending than being left in prison and then threatening her ex-boyfriend to take her back.

"I love that even though Aang is sort of not in this story very much, to me, he's-his presence is in all of these scenes 'cause you know he's like the little angel on her shoulder [...]" (Bryan Konietzko)

The main reason I think the shipping discourse in the ATLA fandom is so toxic is because the creators Mike and Bryan saw the narrative differently than the other writers. They seemed to have a completely different vision for the story and characters compared to the head writer. So, there were two conflicting visions and fans who liked one over the other could argue their side indefinitely. Bryke saw things as more black-and-white and good vs. evil. You can see it in some of the interviews and commentary, particularly with Bryan.

IMO, there really was no "good" and "evil" side in The Southern Raiders. There was no "angel" or "devil" sitting on Katara's shoulders. To Katatra, what Aang said must have sounded like nothing more than a trite platitude. It's true that in the end, she didn't choose violence. But I don't think Aang's words were very pertinent to her decision-making when she finally faced Yon Rha, LOL.

It's understandable why Aang would come off as preachy, though. He was just a child coping with his own grief. The Air Nomads' philosophy was one of the only things he had left of them, after all. Such a teaching was no doubt his own personal coping mechanism.

Aang was right in the sense that Katara didn't need to resort to violence in the end. But ya know, maybe she would have if she didn't have someone by her side who understood her inner darkness and accepted her even if she had chosen violence. Just like how Aang might have killed the sanbenders if Katara hadn't been there. And Katara would not have condemned him if he had done so.

"Zuko and Katara might have shared some sparks, but sometimes there are people along your 'journey of love' who are there to teach you about yourself and what you really need, but don't necessarily end up being your partner. Come on, kids! 'Zutara' never would have lasted! It was just dark and intriguing." (Bryan Konietzko)

Zuko was a character of duality. Yin and Yang. Light and shadow. His two sides were represented by the scarred side and non-scarred sides of his face. I think Bryan viewed Zutara as a "dark" ship because a big part of Zutara was about Katara's shadow side.

Just like Mai did with Zuko, Aang built up a fantasy version of Katara in his head. The perfect, well, "waifu," I guess. The endlessly patient feminine maternal figure. The sweet beautiful girl with such manageable hair. But that's only half of who she was. There was another side to her that he never saw. One that used bloodbending. Angry, hateful. Yes, even ugly. And that's not a bad thing. It's human.

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Ellen Joe Headcanons

I can’t help it I love this shark girl

Like I stated in my previous ZZZ headcanon post, Ellen meets a lot of shark character stereotypes, including having a love for seafood, needing to be constantly fidgeting/moving, and going apeshit around blood or enemies who struggle

After that one incident where she almost attacked Corin after the poor girl cut her hand on her own sawblade by accident, Lycaon has had to keep an eye on her and make sure during missions from clients that she doesn’t jeopardize the objective due to her uncontrollable thiren instincts

She doesn’t actually care for the taste of blood, but whenever it’s spilled, her instincts go into overdrive and she has to sink her teeth into whatever’s bleeding

She likes fighting and doing combat missions for Victoria Housekeeping Co because of how often she gets to go bonkers on things that put up a fight

Too much movement in one area really stresses her out though. It overloads her sense of smell and makes her feel dizzy and overwhelmed

Obviously has an incredible sense of smell. How else would she be able to tell if you’re hiding candy from her?

I’m making it canon she owns at least 4 Blahaj

Like??? In official media about her they show that she has shark themed items like the blanket from that one video, of course she’s gonna have shark plushies

Despite being a very perceptive person she’s oblivious to the fact Corin has a crush on her

Corin thinks Ellen is playing 4D chess with her emotions but nope Ellen genuinely has no clue Corin has mental breakdowns over how hard she’s crushing on Ellen

Ellen is nonchalant around everyone but usually talks to Corin about stuff in her personal life that’s bothering her, like school stuff or friend drama

Ellen is the exact opposite around Rina. Ellen’s smart enough to know how manipulative and nosy Rina can be, and how any information can be used against her, so she’s pretty curt and tight lipped around the creepy esper lady

Ellen doesn’t really see Lycaon as anything but her superior, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect him. Usually it’s in her own way, though. Like, Ellen probably doesn’t take orders from him super well, but she’d be damned if she let anyone in Victoria Housekeeping go down first in battle. What she lacks in obedience she makes up for in loyalty tenfold

He’s also the one that provided her her massive shears, outfitted with the same ice technology his boots run on

Before being gifted the shears, Ellen’s weapon of choice was a pretty standard sword

Besides the massive tail and sharp teeth, Ellen also has gills running along her ribs just below her breasts

She’s like, the only one who knows about it though cause no one has seen her shirtless before.

When she’s at the beach or pool with friends she wears one piece suits

She can breathe underwater, but chooses not to most of the time because it’s either chlorinated (stings), or too polluted/muddy (makes her cough a lot)

Is good at holding her breath regardless

Besides the tattoos on her tail, she has a tattoo of a dorsal fin on her back, and a small tattoo of ocean waves with a little shark fin poking out on her right ankle

Has a very high pain tolerance

Has a very low bullshit tolerance

Once when running a solo escort mission through a hollow, her shears were knocked out of her hands and fell down a chasm. Her backup weapon? Her actual goddamn teeth

Like she’s a shark she’s gonna bite and she bites HARD

Has an impressive bite force, can chew through a ton of soft metals and most fabrics

She’s tried chewlery before but unfortunately no matter what kind she buys she always shreds it within a week

LOVES jawbreakers and other insanely hard candy

The fastest way to win her trust is to gift her candy, especially hard candies, as evident in the Victoria Housekeeping story quest

While she heavily prefers hard candies she also loves gummies. Yeah especially the shark ones

Her tail is pure thick muscle btw. Being smacked with that thing feels like being whacked by one of those punching bags that’s heavily weighted

She’s not always cognizant of where or how she’s moving it too, so it’s better to steer clear from walking behind her

That thing is the entire length of Xiao Genshin and also half of her entire body weight, no wonder the girl keeps having energy crashes, she’s carrying that thing around

The bite mark on her tail is unfortunately self inflicted. Years ago she got stuck in a hollow for over a week and grew desperate for food. Soon after having to do that to herself, she was rescued

Used to have chewing on her nails and cheek as a nervous stim but now has better outlets for fidgets and chew stims

Sure, chewlery didn’t work, but no one’s stopped her from making her own out of scrap metal. It gets the job done surprisingly well. She’s even gotten somewhat good at biting metal into fun shapes

Corin made a joke about it once about how Ellen could totally sell the bitten shapes and Ellen genuinely offered to make her one of her bear

Corin stores all her favorite trinkets in a box under her bed. So far the only things in there are the button eyes from her oldest stuffed animal project, and the bent, bite mark ridden metal piece shaped like a teddy bear

Ellen isn’t an impatient person, but she heavily values her free time, which is why if you idle in the game for too long she gets pissed

She totally suffers from a thing called Sharkolepsy and totally doesn’t use it as an excuse to get out of work or school sometimes

[rise-my-angel]

i agree with your last post wayyyy too much. i can’t do jon snow haters or people who say that dany had every right to burn down kings landing because they k!lled her best friend. okay??? what about the thousands of innocents. she had a whole army, she could have just gone for cersei or been an actual leader and not taken revenge on her own ‘people’. like??? also if you support jamie lannister being a king slayer and k!lling aerys to save thousands of lives (which ill assume most of the fandom does) then jon did the exact same thing. yes they both ‘betrayed’ people they served but it saved thousands of lives.

my only argument in dany’s defense is she should have never gone ‘mad’. the writers should have never made her get on dragon back and burn down an entire city, but since she did, then she has got to GO.

The thing is, is that the burning of Kings Landing has been a LONG existing prediction by book readers of what Dany will do once she reaches Westeros. It has been theorized for YEARS before Benioff and Weiss were likely ever told about the books planned ending beats.

But, it won't be because she's mad. It will be a calculated move on purpose, no madness, just self righteous justification that because they didn't want her as Queen, they should die.

In the show, Dany has posed this multiple times. Dany in the show over the years does NOT hesitate to say she wants to burn cities to the ground, make her enemies die screaming, and has routinely posed situations where her options are literally bend the knee or die.

For example, this is a snippet of dialouge from season 8 after she burned Kings Landing and one million people with it.

Jon: "What about everyone else? All the other people who think they know what's good." Dany: "They don't get to choose."

This sounds extremely like something Dany says to Jorah in season 4 when he informs her that the masters have disregarded her laws almost as soon as she left Yunkai.

Dany: "He will tell the masters what has happened in Meereen. He will explain the choice they have before them. They can live in my new world or they can die in their old one."

This is the exact same scenario. You either live in Dany's world exactly as she dictates it, or you die.

There is no actual choice she is giving the masters, it is her way or death. Exactly like she plans to do to the rest of Westeros. Season 8 was not out of character.

Jorah says in this very scene that it is tempting to always see your opposition as evil, but that by always treating those who oppose you as such, it is the good and innocent who will get caught in the crossfire, and she says that she has no interest in entertaining what other people think is good and evil, she does as she sees fit.

One Barristan dies, she leads whats left of the leaders of noble houses to where her dragons are locked away, and lets one burn a man alive with abosutely no proof these men had anything to do with it as a threat that she will do the same to them. Again, with no proof that the masters or noble houses of Mereen have ANY relation to the Sons of the Harpy.

Upon a rewatch, one will find Dany says a LOT of very concerning things that foreshadow whats to come. This is going to happen, this was always going to happen. Dany was not going to burn the Red Keep, because thats the castle her family built with the throne her family created. Its the symbol of everything she wants and thinks she's entitled too.

But the people? These people who in the show and likely books, will not see kindly to this foreign occupier who uses her dragons to scare people into submission and will not yeild their Queen or King to her? Well, they are in her way. They refuse to join her new world, so they die in their old one. She doesn't need the people of one city to take the throne as long as theres still a throne to sit upon.

Dany routinely sees evil in her enemies with no grey area. Jon, otherwise is a man who looked his enemy in the eye (lord commander of the nights watch who betrayed them as a spy up against the wildlings he spied on and defeated in battle), and said (paraphrasing) "We don't have to be friends, but you, your children, and your children's children all deserve to survive. Let me protect you."

When everyone hated him for it. But he did it because it was the right thing to do. Jon has always given men at their worst chances at redemption. Thats what the Nights Watch is, so many of them were criminals, murderers, rapists, but Jon lets them prove they are better then their worst parts and only punishes with due justice when they commit the re offending behavior. Jon doesn't kill Karl Tanner in a brutal way beacuse he likes it, he only killed him like that when his back was turned, because Karl was about to kill the innocent girl who helped Jon by stabbing Karl in the back when he had Jon pinned.

Dany has no right to burn down Kings Landing, there is no excuse for it. But she will not beacuse she is forced too, or by accident, or through madness. No, it will be a calculated, purposeful decision that she will choose to do this, because thats how she has chosen to commit every atrocity she's ever done, which when you tally it up, is shocking and disturbingly high.

It was a massacre of extreme proportions that she was proud of. Wheras Jon felt extreme guilt for not saving every free folk when the army of the dead massacred Hardhome, when that was completely out of his control or power, and when he still in fact, saved over 5000 lives of what was supposed to be his greatest enemy.

The completely unbelievable joke of a romance aside, the Jon we know would not have hesitated to kill her. That is one million lives she murdered in the most brutal fashion because she didn't get what she wanted.

But we know why Jon would want to kill her for it, beacuse she answered the very question he posed in season five in the most terrifying way possible.

Jon: "Isn't their survival more important than your pride?"

Dany said no, and massacred the very same people Jon has been trying to save for years. I was being factious when I said Jon should've killed her harder, but it's still true. Dany in the show became exactly what the books are leading up to. But people were tricked through the framing that beacuse Dany thinks shes the world's main character, that she's always in the right, when she very often isn't.

It was always coming, and it was never out of character, beacuse Dany was always this way. At the burning of Kings Landing, she finally just allowed herself to be honest about it.

Jon was right to kill her for committing the exact mass slaughter that Jaime killed Aerys II for being about to commit.

The Targaryeans are fire and blood, and they paid the price for it.

[lieutenant-teach]

How the debates about the Force helped to uncover the Sith Lord (Prompt: Fun)

A shore leave was supposed to be a time when people rest, Anakin was sure of it. Rest – means having fun. Having fun – means doing whatever you want. What Anakin wanted was stay with Padme alone for a couple of days. Unfortunately, she was away for some Senate stuff, so he was stuck with Obi-Wan’s meaning of ‘fun’. At that moment it was sitting on the cushion in a circle of several elderly Jedi and listening intently to a heated debate about the nature of the Force.

 – The Force can influence the way living beings act, otherwise why do we have prophecies of Chosen Ones? The Force chooses them, so it has an ability of acting, - insisted a frail Nikto Master, passionately waving his stick and barely holding on his feet even in a sitting position.

 – The choice matters! The prophecies are just possibilities, not certainties, - was an angry response from a tiny Jawa Jedi opposite him, her cheeping voice, surprisingly strong for such a small body, piercing the room and making Anakin wince. He signed and propped his cheek on his palm and the elbow on the knee, letting his gaze wander around the circle-shaped room. Colourful tapestries of complex weaving, depicting scenes of Jedi life, were hanging on the walls, the floor was covered with fluffy patterned rugs. The warmth of the sun, pouring through the fabric shutters on tall windows, painted the room and persons present in gold and brown hues and was a pleasant feeling on his back. Doziness was settling cozily over his lids, hazing his thoughts in a warm embrace…

A mental nudge almost pushed him off the cushion – not because it was powerful, just unexpected. Anakin jolted, held his balance and sent a glare to Obi-Wan next to him.

 – Anakin, it’s good for your knowledge, - his former Master whispered, barely moving his lips and visibly very into the debate and whatever ancient Master Sinube was mumbling from his place. Anakin didn’t know which theory the Cosian Jedi supported – nor that he cared. – You’re a Knight, but there’s still so much to learn. A Jedi studies all their life.

 – Ah, so it was studying when you were interested whether the brain worm would go into Master Unduli’s nose or ear, - Anakin couldn’t help from snickering. That got an indignant look from Obi-Wan, a huff and a turned away head. Anakin smiled and changed the hand and cheek.

 – The Force gives life to everything…

 – The Force is created by life itself, everybody knows it!

 – Anakin, please, - Obi-Wan bent to his ear, - would you mind at least close your shields, so your thoughts about Senator Amidala wouldn’t emanate around the room?

Anakin felt blush creeping up his cheeks:

 – There’s nothing wrong with it! I’m not a… prude.

 – Of course, nothing wrong with it, - Obi-Wan agreed placidly, - she’s a beautiful woman, but not everyone wants to sense your daydreams about her… - he faltered, selecting the right words, - lady parts.

 – Come on, don’t pretend you’re listening to that, - Anakin nodded at an exchange among almost all the Jedi present, talking excitedly at the same time and somehow managing to perfectly understand one another – not without the Force, probably. – I bet you’re dreaming about Commander Cody’s… manly parts, - he broke into a wicked smile, seeing faint blush rising on Obi-Wan’s face. At least some fun at these stupid debates.

 – Even if I wanted to do so, it would be unprofessional from my part...

 – Is it the only thing that stops you? – Anakin wasn’t sure what they were talking about anymore – Obi-Wan’s ‘dreams’ or reality. After all, an obvious mutual crush of General Kenobi and Commander Cody was a famous open secret of the 212th, though few would be stupid or insolent enough to tease them. Anakin counted himself as both and also having a privilege of being Obi-Wan’s former Padawan and the closest friend.

Angry hissing that sounded much like ‘Shut up, please!’ of an Anacondan Knight next to Anakin stopped the conversation, much to his dismay. Obi-Wan was clearly glad to convert his attention back to the debate, blush reaching the tips of his ears. ‘Bet Cody would’ve found it adorable’, - Anakin chuckled mentally.

Then he signed again, left with nothing to do. Shifted his eyes to the ceiling. To the rugs on the floor. ‘Mmm… an interesting pattern… Hey, I can see a speeder here!’.

 – One more symptom of a Darksider in the room – lower temperature! – squealed the Jawa Jedi, breaking Anakin from his intent studying the rug. – Add to the signs that they spoil the Force!

‘Funny… It’s always chilly in Palpatine’s office…’ – the thought breezed Anakin’s mind, and he froze for a second, then shook his head. Apparently, his brain had started melting after listening to that pointless debate.

 – Grab for power – that is the true sign! – the Nikto Master pointed his stick on the Jawa Jedi. – And never stopping! The Dark Side infects the recipient’s mind, making them want more – and it always leads to suffering in the process!

‘He’s got almost all the power of the Senate, and the Senators are absolutely fine with it. And he always declines negotiating with the Seppies. So the war cannot stop,’ – Anakin really didn’t like where his brain was going. The Supreme Chancellor was a good friend of his, a kind mentor, he always supported Anakin in all his ideas… Even stupid ones… Not like Obi-Wan and the other Jedi did…

 – All the sources and witnesses claim the Sith bring out the worst in everyone around them, - the Jawa Jedi stood up and put her hands on her hips. – It’s their own doing, not the Force’s!

Anakin sensed something weird next to him, emanating from Obi-Wan. He looked at him and immediately met widened horrified eyes, their owner obviously sharing the same train of thoughts with Anakin himself. ‘Come on, it’s Palpatine, he cannot be a Sith Lord. And he’s not Force-sensitive – otherwise the Jedi would’ve known’. Anakin almost reasoned with himself.

 – The Force changes around the Sith, - the Nikto Master wasn’t going to capitulate so easily, stomping his stick on the soft rug. – It becomes Dark, clouding everything, poisoning susceptible minds…

 – Right, because the Sith do it! – the Jawa Jedi squealed on the top of her lungs and shook off the hand of a Human Knight nearby who was trying to calm her down. – Or why do you think the most powerful ones could even pretend not to be Force-sensitive at all?

Shudder tremored through Anakin – his own and Obi-Wan’s. The young Knight was balancing on the edge of his cushion, watching and listening to the debates with attention he’d never know existed in him. The puzzle was coming together in his head.

 – When there is a war, then it’s surely to be a Sith Lord somewhere, - the Nikto Master scoffed. – The Dark Side feeds off pointless war and suffering. But you cannot convince me that the Dark Side doesn’t corrupt a being.

 – I’ll tell you what – you seem to be a Darksider yourself, blaming the Force for your failures! Because only a Sith would say such poodoo about how the Force works! – the Jawa Jedi jumped on the Nikto Master’s chest, the Nikto Master grabbed his lightsaber, shouting his protests in response. The closest sitters scooted back as the full-fledged duel started, Master Sinube happily clapping in support.

Not paying attention to the chaos, both Obi-Wan and Anakin jumped on their feet:

 – The Chancellor is a Sith Lord!

@jedijune

[twosides--samecoin]

X6-88 thoughts/Overthinking Bethesda's writing:

I've side-eyed a handful of X6-88's statements ("Greed and materialism don't exist in the Institute.", "In the Institute, mental disorders are a thing of the past.") and wonder about the veracity of those claims.

I'd ask him to define what a "mental disorder" is. The World Health Organization says a mental disorder is a "clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotional regulation, or behaviour". Surely in emulating human life, the Institute understands mental disorders are kind of two sides of an evolutionary coin.

After all, in humans, anxiety is a survival response.

It's 98798745 BC. The wind shifts through tall grass. Something rustled in the grass yesterday and then it popped out and ate your hunting partner. For the rest of your life, you get a little freaked when the tall grass moves. It's 2024. You get chest pangs and feel annoyed when your mom's number shows up on your cell phone, because her pattern of behaviour is to ask a lot of uncomfortable, invasive questions and she frequently derides your life choices. You let it go to voicemail, because that's the one way of figuring out what she actually wants without having to endure too much bullshit to learn the purpose of her call. That's anxiety.

If you want a Synth to have authentic feelings such as worry or a "gut feeling" that gives them pause (and the Institute does want their Synths to assimilate with humans in 2288), that means even a series of zeroes and ones telling the Synth to pause before walking off a cliff needs to be interpreted and expressed to the outside world as anxiety. I wonder how many Synths were deemed defective because the Institute basically trained their self-aware AI to have anxiety disorders?

And hey, X6 contradicts the statement, whether he knows it or not: "I recommend a mental health examination when you return to the Institute."

X6, what's the purpose of a mental health examination? Who gets selected for one? Why would someone be recommended to take one? What happens when the assessment is conducted? What kind of data is expected from something called a mental health examination? Yes or no, is it fair to say mental disorders could be detected with such a test? Is a mental health examination routine for humans and Synths? Because lemme tell you buddy the existence of the mental health examination tells me the opposite of "mental health disorders are a thing of the past".

If escapee synths can harbour trauma, perhaps X6 views that phenomena as a defective unit. Or believes "runners" should be anxious, because they're in trouble. Could also be he's hearing one set of truths and he isn't privy to data that would show otherwise. Part of his mission might be to tell the Sole Survivor certain things about the Institute to further convince the SoSu to succeed Father's leadership. Maybe it's a 'perfect world' belief, or what he chooses to tell himself; if one wears the affect the party line expects of them, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to ignore feelings of doubt.

X6 doubts very little about the Institute, except when the Sole Survivor causes him to doubt their appointment as Father's successor.

One of my journalism profs said "Science is a knife fight". Academia would love you to think it's all for the greater good, but many big science scandals of the 20th/21st century were greed-driven.

"Materialism" must also be quantified and defined. You might hear, "They're so materialistic," normally framed as an insult-observation toward someone we perceive as valuing physical goods above all else.

"Materialism" is a philosophical thought that centers around the assertion that all things - ideas, expression, products, actions, you name it - have causal relationships with matter.

Matter can be literally anything. Your stomach grumbled because your body is sending you signals to indicate it needs fuel. The dog barks because wants to alert you to something. You cry because it's the body's response to releasing stress. You have memories because of a network of synapses and neurons that the brain developed to retain information.

It's basically a boring way of saying, "Things happen because Stuff exists, and Stuff exists because Things happen". Marx and Engels based their writings on the relationship and interactions between Stuff & Things. The worker gets a job at the factory because they need money to pay the landlord. The factory exists to produce Stuff. The factory cannot produce Stuff without the labour of the worker. Conditions at the factory can make it hard for workers to produce Stuff. Labour movements exist because workers can withhold their labour if working conditions fail them. And so on!

I think it's ontologically untrue to say the Institute isn't materialistic; one reason they made synths (among others) was because they needed materials. Gen 1/2s scavenged the Commonwealth and carried out experiments. SRB Coursers like X6-88 go to the surface to recover escaped Synths that they view as property.

The Institute is materialistic, not because they're all concerned with designer bags or whatever the fuck X6 was referring to by saying they weren't greedy/materialistic, but because they absolutely do have a causal relationship where the collection of matter, human or otherwise, directly influences their ability to continue their research.

Anyway I don't think he's a liar per se, I just think he's inhaling the Institute's Costco pack of Capri Suns like they're fucking oxygen tanks

[hopelessromantic5]

Arthur is found by a little old witch in the woods, and is cared for.

But the witch realizes that her magic is no good on him.

She hovered her hands over Arthur’s body, with her eyes closed. Arthur could see the light cascading out her fingertips but he could not feel anything.

“Ah.” She said, smiling at him sweetly. “You are protected by one very great indeed, young warrior. My magic cannot even help you, let alone could it hurt you.” She giggled, as if this was something funny.

Arthur, high on pain and unable to move at all without searing hot flashes of it, was a tad put out.

“Is there something wrong with me?”

She shook her head.

“The opposite. The magic that protects you is more powerful than any I’ve felt, in all my years. And there were a lot of years, believe me. The person watching out for you, Arthur Pendragon, must care for you a great deal. Especially in knowing how you feel about the subject of sorcery.” She rattled these things off as if it were idle chitchat, as she went about the room collecting herbs and creams and throwing them into the pot in her hands.

Arthur was extremely confused. About everything that was said, but definitely one thing.

“You know who I am?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t invite anyone into my home without knowing who they were.”

“You helped me anyway? Knowing my father executes magic users?”

Arthur could not find it in himself to be afraid, he knew he was in no danger, and she’d just said she couldn’t hurt him or heal him with magic. So that’s good at least. She could’ve left him for dead, another reason to be thankful.

He had no intention of mentioning any of this healing excursion to his father.

“You would not turn me in. I know you have a true and noble heart. You are the Once and Future King.” She smiled over her shoulder at him and continued on her way.

Arthur played back the entirety of what she’d mentioned previously and his brows furrowed even more, if possible, giving him a slight headache.

He didn’t mean to appear rude but the question just came tumbling out of him.

“Someone powerful is stopping you from using magic on me? With magic?”

She turned back to her work station, which faced Arthur’s bed, and nodded again.

“Your guardian angel.” She smiled again, very sweet but also secretive. A smile of knowing things that Arthur had yet to even begin to comprehend.

Arthur was struck back to his fathers voice saying that same phrase. And all the numerous times he’d come away from a battle he thought lost, with nothing but a few scratches.

Someone was saving him.

Time and time again. Someone was always there.

But who?

The woman’s head snapped up from her working hands as if reading his thoughts. But still no malice was found in her eyes, only concern.

“Heed my words.” She began. Nothing good ever started with that. “They are not your foe. They have been there time and time again, you know it. In your heart of hearts. A moment will come when you must make a choice. If you turn this into a war, as your father did, everything you hold dear will be lost. Your kingdom, your happiness, the color of the world through your eyes. You will see nothing but grey ash.” A tear slid down her cheek and Arthur could feel them welling in his eyes, though he didn’t know why.

“But,” she smiled wetly. “If you choose to trust your heart, and open it to them willingly, you will prosper. Even in death, you will not truly die, as so many men do. You will be the Once and Future King, and your soul will live forever.” Arthur blinked, and he felt the wetness because he knew he was crying. But he didn’t feel sad, he felt ecstatic. Like it was bursting out of him, but he couldn’t move. Because everything was still broken and sliced open, making him vulnerable to everything. Even the feelings in the air, which Arthur usually held a dutiful immunity to.

“Who?” He managed to croak out, when he regained his princely manner.

“I will not tell you, Arthur. And you would be wise not to go looking. The answer to your question will come in its own time. For now, keep learning.” And then she winked, like Arthur was supposed to know what that meant. And how was he supposed to just keep going with the knowledge that someone close to him, or someone who thinks highly of him, has protected him even in knowing they could be caught at any second, knowing they would die. All to save Arthur.

At the thought, he wondered why his life was worth so much. Yes, knights uphold their honor and would fight and die for Arthur or Uther. But Arthur didn’t meet many sorcerers with loyalty of that kind.

Or maybe he didn’t really meet any sorcerers. Unless they were heading to the pyre and looking down their last minutes.

Of course, the sorcerers he’d come in contact with didn’t fancy a chat, because Uther never offered it. There was never a question. Magic equals death. It didn’t matter if it was healing, or helping a dying crop, or growing a shade tree for the children.

In the low light of the old woman’s tent, everything made perfect sense.

But it didn’t.

Because, not very many people knew that Arthur didn’t always agree with his father on these matters, Uther would never allow that to be made too public.

Maybe guards had heard something and whispered their secrets to handsy maids, or stable boys. Whatever the preference.

It would be entirely possible for the staff of the castle to know things that they shouldn’t.

So that narrows it down to about…three hundred people give or take.

Lovely.

Arthur took a deep breath and heard the old woman’s words in his head.

So he stopped thinking of it, stopped trying to find an answer and just waited for it to come to him. Or for death. Whichever came first.

The next day, as he woke, he almost startled realizing he wasn’t in his bed, and wouldn’t see Merlin first thing, but then didn’t because it hurt too much.

“Do not fret. It is almost time for you to go, Arthur Pendragon.”

“What do you mean?”

Then he heard it. A faint voice. Like music to his ears.

Yelling his name.

Oh thank heavens.

Merlin found him.

He always found him.

A pang of…something hit his heart before he could stop it and it upset him deeply.

But then the smile returned, because he was about to go home.

The woman came and helped him up, dressed his various wounds with her mysterious poultice once more, and then turned to look him straight in his ocean blue orbs. Right into the very depths of him. Hers were almost clear, like the sky.

“I know you have love for your father, but he lives in fear every day of his life. All of his decisions are made out of that fear. You cannot be the King your people need you to be if you follow in his footsteps. Choose love instead. Always. Even when it’s most difficult.”

She walked him out of the canvas tent and into the cool winds of spring morning.

“I wish you the best of luck, my King.” She bowed her head. The first sign of respect for any title, she had ever shown him. He almost blushed because of it. And he felt proud. To have someone like her rooting for him.

He would think about that old woman and what she told him, for years to come.

“Arthur?” The voice was getting closer. Then a lanky body burst through the line of trees and found him standing there, strapped together with bandages.

Arthur turned back to introduce the woman to Merlin, but she was gone.

And so was her tent.

It had all vanished.

For a moment he thought he was insane. But looked down at the helpful linens that were holding ointments on his carved skin, and knew that he hadn’t made it up.

“Arthur!” Merlin ran straight for him, but stopped a few feet off, clearly seeing he was hurt.

“Thank God you’re alive. I mean I knew you were, I knew you wouldn’t leave without sending me to the stocks one last time for good measure.” Arthur was smiling, he could feel it. He’d missed his friend. More than he should’ve.

He wished he could hug him, but as previously stated, he could barely move.

“I could go for a hug,” he admitted. “But I can’t really move anything without…ya know, pain.” He was still a little woozy and wanted to just get on with the journey.

“Guess I’ll have to help you on your way then.” Merlin sighed, but smiled anyway and looped Arthur’s good arm around his shoulders.

Then they walked.

And walked and walked and walked.

And neither of them said anything.

Arthur was lost in his own thoughts about destiny and the people that would one day rely on him for protection and peace.

Merlin had issues of his own he was meddling through, Arthur assumed.

And when the limping boy realized they’d been walking all day in complete silence, and hadn’t stopped once.

He finally voiced a question.

“Were you wounded?”

“What?” Merlin asked quietly.

“In the battle. Trying to get away, were you wounded?” Arthur’s eyes scanned his body and did not see any marks on his pale skin.

“No, I got away unscathed. Can’t say the same for you though.” He looked down, assessing Arthur’s own wounds.

“Did someone help you?”

“Yes.” He answered shortly. “An old woman. She was very kind.”

“She looks like she knew what she was doing. So I’m glad.” Merlin didn’t ask any more questions, Arthur was grateful.

“How did you find me?”

Merlin looked sheepish for a moment, but schooled it, and managed to get the redness out of his neck before it spread to his face.

He shrugged.

“I’m not really sure. I just had a feeling. Like I said, I knew you weren’t dead. So I just, kind of, followed my gut. And it led me to you standing in a field all by yourself.” He chuckled, as if the scene were funny.

“Hmm.” He said. Then looked around, and noticed there was water running somewhere.

“There’s a stream nearby, and it’s getting dark. We’ll stop and finish the journey tomorrow.”

“Alright. I’ll gather wood for a fire.” Merlin led him to a log and leaned him up against it for support.

Arthur could only watch as Merlin went about gathering dry wood where he could find it.

In the process of that, Arthur fell fast asleep.

In the darkness, Merlin crawled to Arthur and began to heal all his many wounds. Black smoke rising from them as they closed and left nothing but a scar.

Arthur would think the old woman’s poultice worked well. And they would be able to get home that much quicker.

Before Arthur opened his eyes the next morning, he knew something was different.

He tested his leg and it moved without delay or surging pain. His arms in the same strong condition.

His eyes flung open, and he ripped the bandages off to reveal closed skin.

Arthur might be a bit dull sometimes but he knows fairly well that nothing of any mortal nature could heal him so quickly.

But the old woman. She’d said no one could touch him with magic. Helpful or otherwise.

So what had done this?

His eyes glanced his surrounding and found only one clue.

A body curled in on itself with dark curls springing out.

Merlin.

But it couldn’t be. Merlin might not be as much an idiot as Arthur usually claimed. But he was no sorcerer.

Was he?

The pieces started clicking together. Merlin was always the one to conveniently drag him to safety.

He’s always the one there when unexpected victories are won.

Merlin.

Of course.

Something in Arthur must’ve known. Because he was not surprised even for a second. It almost seemed right in his mind. Merlin. Magic. Of course.

But that means Merlin’s been the one risking his life every single day, just to do what? Muddle about and polish armor? Muck out the horses?

If Merlin was as powerful as the old woman said, why did he stay? And why didn’t he trust Arthur with his secret?

Merlin started to rouse.

Arthur had to make a decision.

Confront him or act oblivious?

[all-pacas]

Can you talk more about Chase's moral stand in The Dictator and what made him do such a shift? While Chase did care about people outside of his immediate circle at times,it was (almost) always by the way of him relating to said experiences and/or bonding with the patients.

I really don't think it's that complicated. As fun as it is to joke about Chase's utter lack of morals and empathy, that's never actually been true. He reaches out to Foreman in Family with empathy and an offer to go drinking; he reaches out to Cameron in Cursed with offers to do work so she can go home and to… go drinking (Chase has one move). He is very upset when he loses patients in Maternity and Forever (both babies; still). He cries over House's "cancer" in Half Wit even before the hug. He falls very hard for Cameron; he reaches out to 13 in After Hours, his pro-euthanasia stance in Informed Consent is about easing pain. One of my favorite little moments is in Cane and Able: the child patient's parents are exasperated and unsupportive of their son's alien abduction delusions, and Chase makes a point in talking to them, telling them pretty frankly that they need to support their son, even if they think he's nuts. He didn't need to do that. He was absolutely right. When he finds out House lied to the transplant committee in Control, he does rat to Vogler… but he doesn't do anything to undermine the transplant, which proceeds. Generally speaking, he knows right from wrong and doesn't approve of "harming people" (in particular children) or "hurting people." Yes, we mostly see that with the people he does care about, but. He doesn't really like Foreman much. Foreman is often quite dismissive of Chase. Chase still offers to go drinking. Is he the nicest and sweetest guy ever? Nah. But he's not evil.

Where his "lack of morals" comes in is that Chase puts himself first. He's not selfish in the way we usually think of it; he does care for other people, and quite a lot at times. But he's a survivor, he looks out for himself first. The rare times he refuses an order from House, it's because he thinks the risk to his career or license is too high. If a task requires him to go out of his way when he doesn't care about it, he won't do it. If a task leads him into an uncomfortable situation, as in Safe — faced with the choice of revealing to the patient's overprotective parents that their daughter is sexually active, or just billing them for a test and letting them find out on their own time — he chooses the easier-for-him option. He doesn't really care that House is on drugs. He doesn't really care about all the shady things his job comes with, as long as he doesn't risk losing it, getting arrested, or the end result. Lying to a patient? Why not, if it gets the job done. That doesn't mean he's pro murder. It just means he's lazy and pragmatic. Again, the rare times he defies House, it's when House is asking him to do something that is too "high risk" for Chase.

So the thing about Dibala is that Chase actually feels that murder is still wrong. He has morals, and those morals are: don't kill people, it's wrong. He makes it pretty clear.

CHASE: You can't want to kill anyone, especially not your own patient. CAMERON: It's only natural to feel he should – CHASE: No, it's completely unnatural. Only psychopaths can kill other people without having some sort of breakdown. CAMERON: Not when it's justified. Look at soldiers. CHASE: Even when it's justified.

Except the entire episode, all Chase is hearing is the opposite. I'm not saying Cameron pushed him into it or anything: he made up his own mind. But Cameron keeps telling him he's evil and should die. Dibala's would-be assassin tells him, twice, that Dibala is evil and should die and here is what he witnessed and did.

So let's look at the scene where Chase decides to do a murder. Cameron has been going through her own Arc in this episode, passive-aggressively hinting someone should kill Dibala but not making any moves on her own. Dibala gets sick of this and grabs her, challenging her to act, not just talk, but Cameron can't do it and backs down, leaving Chase and Dibala alone.

CHASE: If you touch my wife again, I'll kick your ass out into the street. I don't care who you are. DIBALA: I did her a favor. I showed her her true character. CHASE: She's a better person than you are. DIBALA: She is too weak to act on her beliefs. That is not her fault. Most everyone is. Even my own advisors. My own colonel. All they do is negotiate and debate and sign treaties. They are appeasers. And all the while, we are beset by assassins and traitors, the scum – CHASE: Cockroaches? What are you going to do about them? DIBALA: What is an enemy to you? Some younger physician who covets your office? In my world, there are dangers and bloodshed and death. And that makes you a man. And men make choices. CHASE: And your choice is to send bands of drunk, crazed children to massacre an entire people? DIBALA: Don't ask me questions you don't want to know the answer to. CHASE: I saved your life. I deserve to know what you're planning to – DIBALA: Whatever it takes to protect my country.

Chase is mad: he just hurt Cameron, and more than that, Chase is a little betrayed. He and Dibala kind of got along before this. I wouldn't say Chase liked him, but they bonded. Until this moment, Dibala was polite. He was complimentary. He offered Chase excuses, and Chase probably wanted to believe them. Not anymore! Dibala just hurt Cameron, called her weak, and told Chase blatantly "I'm planning another genocide."

Chase is angry: I saved your life, you need to be honest with me, you shouldn't be like this.

Until now, Dibala had polite excuses: it wasn't his fault, he had bad subordinates who killed people, he made mistakes. Weak excuses, but the kind of excuses Chase probably did believe, kind of wanted to believe. Not anymore! This nice old man has just revealed himself to be planning more murders!

That's what makes Chase act. What tips him past "I'm not getting involved" into "time to do a murder." He spends the entire episode hearing everyone talk about how someone should kill Dibala. And then Dibala betrays his (very misplaced) trust, reveals himself to be just as evil as everyone has said, and even gives Chase a nice little speech about how strength is to act, how to be a man is to make a choice, not just sit back and do what's easier.

It was never a matter of lol Chase is fine with murder, he doesn't care about anything. Chase cares about quite a lot of things. The trick was getting him to care enough to put himself at risk and act.

[kalena-henden]

Is the magic real? Are the curses real? Are the spells real?

Don't only look at what the characters believe. Look at what the show is revealing: a florescent sign blinking YES. The big question is how does it work?

As I've mentioned before, Hongjo opened the lock on the box by asking aloud for Jaekyung to come help her (which he did by moving in downstairs and giving her constant advice as her sage guide). So magic can be utilized verbally through words of intention. It's likely that only shamans, witches, etc. can do this magic but that is unconfirmed.

Curses vs. Spells (aka Violation vs. Revelation)

What separates a curse from a spell? When Hongjo accidentally dropped the box in the woods, they found a book of curses in a hidden panel. Why would there need to be a separate book of curses unless they do the exact opposite of what the spells do. Curses are always forced upon someone to bring about something terrible. They are done without consent and violate the person's being through misfortune, torment, or death. The spells in Hongjo's book are all about good things happening. To be truly good though, they must allow for consent and choice. They can't be forced onto someone. So what if the spells work by revealing the truth or path so that the good thing can happen but people still have to choose to accept it.

Let's start with the Fair Skin Spell. Both Shinyu and Jaekyung already think that Hongjo is beautiful. Nothing needs to be revealed to them. However, Shinyu's assistant and Hongjo's co-workers note how pretty she's become. She honestly looks the same as she always has but, now that her beauty has been brought to their attention, they are just acknowledging the truth.

The same goes for the Love Potion. It reveals your true feelings to yourself. What you do with them is up to you. Even from the beginning, there are many moments where you can see Shinyu's heart melting when Hongjo reveals little things like she doesn't want to eat lunch alone because she's always alone. After he drinks the Love Potion, he starts to become aware of his feelings for her but that doesn't mean the potion caused the feelings. He's doing his best to brush these feelings aside until he begins to suspect he drank the Love Potion. Once he confirms that he did drink it, he lets his inhibitions go.

However, Shinyu's still struggling with his head versus his heart. This isn't like any typical love potion I've seen or read about in other media before which usually has the affected person completely infatuated, only able to see the best in the one they think they love, and often unable to refuse the other person. Shinyu on the other hand is overly silly and cute in his affection in one breath; then in the next breath is arrogant and incredibly insulting as he constantly denies that he's fallen in love. As soon as they deem the spell 'not real', he's suddenly able to restrain himself, except when he doesn't want to. It's only then that he begins to fully allow himself to believe he's in love with Hongjo. Even though she didn't drink the love potion, Hongjo is going through a similar head versus heart battle herself. She's mostly in denial except for little moments where she inadvertently shows her feelings. Blushing is often involved.

The main reason the Love Spell was needed for their love to blossom is because they have both kept themselves isolated due to their self preservation against bullies or the burden of the family curse. While they have a few people in their lives, Shinyu has his his parents and lawyer friend and Hongjo has her landlords, they don't share important things with them. By giving Shinyu the opportunity to release his silly emotions, it caused them to be in 'forced proximity' aka it gave them a reason to hang out and get to know each other when they normally would have kept to themselves.

Back to the other spells that have been done. For the Disease Curing Spell, his doctor could suddenly read in a medical journal about a new experimental treatment that has been successful and use it to cure him. For the Disaster Adverting Spell, is it a coincidence that a lost dog interrupted their spell to negate the Love Spell and then Mr. Dog-Shelter-Volunteer volunteers to test whether the Love Spell is real which breaks their belief in the spells? At least temporarily.

As for their destinies being not being able to be severed, that was pretty obvious from day one when they met in the haunted house. I take that back, it was obvious even before they met, when Shinyu was joking with his coworker that his office was haunted and he hadn't yet seen the face belonging to the red hand that likes him. (He also notes he's not having an affair with the red hand. *wink*) Shortly thereafter, he meets Hongjo in the haunted house. She reaches up towards his face with her right hand just like the red hand and mistakes him for a handsome grim reaper she'd like to take her to the teahouse. Then he takes a picture of her face. If this doesn't scream that Hongjo is the owner of the red hand (probably past life Hongjo) than I don't know what does. Afterwards, Shinyu has a Joseon-era dream of a man giving a woman flowers and it turns out the box she is the owner of is beneath their meeting spot on his ancestral land. Their destinies have always been inseparable. The Love Spell didn't do that. The Shaman gives them the information they need when they need it. She doesn't give straight answers. She gives them things to ponder and work out.

The Jang family curse is in full force when his extended cousin is the one who died vlogging the haunted house and everyone at the funeral notes that only the Jang men in Shinyu's family have beaten it so far. Except we know Shinyu is a ticking time bomb and his manipulative girlfriend is cheating on him while forcing him to stay in the relationship through family pressure. Hongjo seems to be cursed too. Her mom died in child birth. Her dad died saving people when she was in high school. She's been bullied by multiple groups in school and work. Now she possibly has not one but two stalkers. They are both being tormented and violated. What if the superpower needed to defeat the curses is their connected destiny? Which is why to win, they need to accept it. But like all good things, they have a choice.

[reveriesketch]

Hailstorm and Pyrite: Reunited

In the spirit of Pride Month, and because I love this franchise, here's my Headcanon for these two, because I feel sad that their situation was never truly resolved. (Spoilers for Arc 2 & 3)

__________________________________

Hailstorm before Pyrite was loyal to his tribe, brotherly to his siblings, brave and determined to fight well in the Sandwing War of Succession, a bit arrogant and fierce because of his upbringing, loved to fly and hunt, and had a deep desire to be perfect for approval. (Both from his family and the Icewing Rankings.)

After he is enchanted and becomes Pyrite, some of Hailstorm's characteristics unknowingly show through. Some of them are the same, while most are the complete opposite. While the Pyrite enchantment was designed with as bland a personality as possible, I believe Pyrite, with Hailstorm hidden within her, developed a little personality over time.

Pyrite, as a dragon, was loyal to her tribe and queen, caring and kind to her fellow Skywings, insecure and doubtful of her abilities, shy and humble around others, loved to fly and explore, and believed she was clumsy and useless all the time.

When the enchantment finally comes off, Hailstorm has a severe identity crisis with both of these personalities conflicting. The rest of the story we know well.

__________________________________

After the events of the second arc, Hailstorm was able to find his way to a sense of who he was again, but Pyrite's personality and memories never really left his head. She was embedded within him.

Of course, the Icewings had a lot of pressure and expectations for him to go back to the way he used to be before he was torn in two. Yet the more he tried to push Pyrite away, the harder it was. This pressure fed into Hailstorm's insecurities that he would have pushed down before but now stood laid out in front of him.

Pyrite had no free choice in her life since Queen Scarlet had her wrapped around her talon. However, Hailstorm didn't really have a choice either because of everything expected of the perfect brother/soldier he made himself to be.

Hailstorm felt like he was keeping a charade on the outside and felt completely messed up on the inside. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt that the mess inside of him wasn't a problem.

Pyrite, unknowingly, expressed a part of Hailstorm that he kept down even before the spell, a part that was afraid to be useless and a failure, and a part that wanted to have a simpler life instead of the strict Icewing standard.

A life where he could truly express himself.

__________________________________

When Snowfall destroyed the Gift of Order in the third arc, a great weight of pressure was lifted off Hailstorm's shoulders. Even without a rank to help him keep up his perfect record, it was his choice to let go of his perfect soldier persona.

He enjoyed the life Pyrite lived but felt "lost" when he tried only to be her. He also felt "empty" whenever he tried to move away from Pyrite and only be Hailstorm. However, he felt complete when he accepted her as a part of him and vice versa.

It felt ok and might just be his new normal.

After a long period of wrestling with his thoughts, Hailstorm gives himself a good long look in the mirror. He can see Pyrite in his reflection.

"I don't think I can ever be the same again, because of you. But I don't hate you. You're a part of me now, and yet, I'm not ashamed or afraid. I think if we choose to be a part of each other… we can move forward. We can be the dragons we've always wanted to be."

From that moment forward, Hailstorm chooses to let Pyrite take up space, and even self-identifies with her. He does this not to lose himself to her, but for them to gather their personalities into a whole dragon, to grow stronger together.

__________________________________

Eventually, they choose to be honest about what they feel and identify as with their family and friends. They consider themselves to be plural and non-binary, having two dragons in the same body, and want to be called we/us or they/them.

I believe many Icewings, including their own mother Tundra, would be disgraced and confused. However, others like Lynx, and perhaps even Snowfall, would be more accepting and encouraging. Of course, many of the main dragon protagonists would be much more open-minded and friendly to them.

Even Winter, who would be very cautious and concerned for his brother, would also be glad they remember themselves and want them to be happy again.

"We may not be the brother you remember us being anymore, but in our heart, you will always be ours."

__________________________________

They also decide, even if they're scared at first, to try wearing the Pyrite enchantment again so that they can truly have two forms for themselves. With the reluctant help of his friends, (I'm not sure who exactly has the enchantment by the third arc) they were able to return it to him.

They rip off the conditions of the enchantment that cause the wearer to forget their memories and be loyal to Queen Scarlet so that all the paper says and does is:

"Enchant this paper so that when any dragon wears it in the form of a necklace, he or she shall fully become a female SkyWing named Pyrite, with the following conditions:"

The first few times they wore it, there was the familiar miasma of forgetfulness between who Hailstorm was and who Pyrite was, but eventually, they could remember both their lives and personalities in both forms. They wear a special locket with the enchantment and pictures of friends and family so they always remember who they are regardless of the form.

__________________________________

The two balance each other out, Hailstorm provides the bravery and determination for Pyrite's insecurities and social phobia, while Pyrite provides humility and empathy for Hailstorm's arrogance and desire to be perfect.

While both still feel loyal to their own tribes, they are willing to be more open to knowing other dragons because they were open to themselves. They realize they have a lot to learn from other dragons in their lives.

While the Ice Kingdom will always be their home, they decide it would be best to not stay there all the time. They often visit the Sky Kingdom, but also like to visit the Mud and Sand kingdoms, and the recently discovered Pantala continent.

They also love to visit the villages of Possibility and Sanctuary, mainly to meet new dragons and visit their brother. In the process of exploring, they gain a few second homes. (Idk if Hailstorm/Pyrite would like to attend Jade Mountain Academy, but I think either way they have ways to grow as a dragon.)

Lastly, they choose to forgive themselves for their past mistakes and what they did in the war. They want to move through the trauma instead of beating it down and pretending it's not there. While sometimes their brains still feel like a complete mess, they know that together, and with support, they will be alright.

"We're more than a perfect Icewing or a scared Skywing, We love both of ourselves as we are."

__________________________________ Thank you for reading!

[destined-if]

You and your family moved to Glove City. However, the house caught fire, and you're the sole survivor. Oh, but that was two years ago... you're not still stuck up on that... are you?

After your family died, being 20 with no job or nearby family, you had to live in alleyways, sleep on park benches, and steal food from vendors... until you met them. They hesitantly welcomed you into their little group after you saved their asses, and you've stuck with them ever since. One day, you got commissioned to steal a necklace from a family in the rich part of town for a hefty price, so obviously, your group accepted and prepared for the trip. What you didn't expect is that the family you're stealing from might not be as innocent and powerless as you thought.

Trigger warnings: Violence, drug intake of minor characters, alcohol of main characters (Optional for MC), violence, death, theft, and slight mention of animal cruelty. This list will be updated as the story progresses.

NOTES: Romance options have a ♡ next to their name. Melody is male or female. Optional Polyarmous Route with Melody and Elias. I'll go into more detail with their personalities (As well as appearances) in their character profiles, I've started on them, but they most likely won't come out for a couple days.

Ian/Ivy ♡; A street rat the moment they were born. Kinda a jackass, but they keep you and their friends out of harm's way, so are they really as cold as they pretend to be? Possible Tropes: Opposites Attract, Found Family, Slowburn. Isla "Wren" Hill ♡; Best thief you know. The first time you met, she stole your packet of gum without you ever finding out until a year later when she told you. She's playful, affectionate, and a little bit of a smartass. [Healing Mage.] Possible Tropes: Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Found Family. Valerie "Val" Hill; The little sister of Isla. You think it’s nice how she steals for others free of charge, but don’t understand why. She’s sarcastic, bold, and surprisingly attentive. Oh, and also a bit of a smartass. Trope: Found Family. [Made by @dvoilds] Elias "Eli" Wynn ♡; His life before he met you guys is a blur, or at least what he says, but you don't really think that's true. Other than that, he's as sweet as a thief can be. He's caring and considerate of other's feelings, and your group's peacemaker. Will you get him to uncover his secrets? [Water Mage.] Possible Tropes: Mutual Pining, "You came?" "You called." Melody "Mel" Rose ♡; They got tangled up in this mess, and you're not quite sure how it happened. As far as you can make out, they're actually pretty understanding. It's kinda freaky how nice they are to you guys, even after you got them knee-deep in all this shit. You think they're here to stay, but it's not like they have a choice. Do they have an alternative motive, or are they just this kind-hearted? Possible Tropes: Frenemies to Lovers, Love at First Sight (More like Attraction), Strangers to Lovers. Casper Vespertine ♡; The son of the family you stole from and the man you're running away from. He scares you shitless, and it doesn't help that he talks like a robot. Will you outrun him, or will you let him catch you? Possible Tropes: Rivals to Lovers, Slowburn, Right Person, Wrong Time.

and more!

Customize your MC. Choose your gender, personality, pronouns, assets, appearance, name, and sexuality.

Decide how your MC feels about stealing and how they deal with their family being... dead.

Be a mage or a human.

Run from your problems!

Found family <3

Cute stray animals.

Create close bonds, or break them.

A fully platonic route for those who don't wanna romance anyone!

LINKS; Demo [TBA], Pinterest, Playlist, Character Profiles, Mage Profiles

posted july 19, 2023

[underforeversgrace]

under the river

DannyMay 2023 Day 11: Underwater

title: under the river

words: 1181

Part 1 of 2

(Part 2: after the water)

Excerpt: Is this really a choice she was about to have to make? Dying together with her husband or leaving him to die on his own?

~~~~~~

Honestly, considering her husband’s driving, maybe Maddie should have expected this to eventually happen, she thought as the glass began to crack from the pressure.

“Jack!” She called again, uselessly trying to shake her husband.

He said nothing, red blood dribbling down his face from the injury to his forehead.

Maddie looked around, desperately trying to think of something, anything.

They were at the bottom of a river, the dark murky water rendering it impossible for them to see anything. If only they had been in the GAV, instead of borrowing Jazz’s car, it wouldn’t have mattered when Jack accidentally ran off the side of the cliff, through the guardrail and into the water below.

Stupid parking deck - at the stupid doctors office they were going to for their stupid annual checkup - not being big enough to accommodate the size of the GAV. 

Maddie was doing her best to not panic. She could get herself out easily, of course, just bust the window and swim, but she had no way of getting Jack out. Unconscious as he was, if she busted the window now and got out… he was done for. As it was, though, water was starting to leak in from under her feet, the spider web crack grew in the glass. 

Is this really a choice she was about to have to make? Dying together with her husband or leaving him to die on his own?

A mental image of Danny and Jazz came to her mind and tears began to flow. Jazz would be graduating high school in just a few months and, despite how much he’d pulled away from them, Danny still needed them.

At least… he needed one of them. Jazz would be fine on her own, but she couldn’t care for her brother and Maddie wouldn’t leave her in a position where she had to. Maddie blinked hard as tears began to pool in her eyes.

She had a choice here and she could not choose to leave her kids as orphans.

“I love you.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to Jack’s cheek, doing her best not to feel the gentle pulse under his skin, proof he was alive.

And then she turned her attention to the passenger window beside her and kicked, shattering the glass with the metal on the heel of her shoe. She refused to look behind her as she threw herself through the window frame and swimming for the surface.

Her head broke the surface and she began coughing, swimming to the opposite bank, where a small bit of land was.

“Maddie!” A voice called behind her, echo amplified in the slight valley they were in.

Seriously? Now? She couldn’t have five seconds to grieve the death of her husband or to figure out how to get out of this valley?

“Go away, Phantom!” She shouted, fists clenching angrily at her side. Her weapons were, unfortunately, not waterproof.

“Where’s Jack?” Phantom questioned, looking for him.

“Go away!” She simply shouted again.

Phantom scowled and dove down to her, grabbing her upper arms and gripping too tightly, anger and panic successfully mimicked on his face. “Where is he?” He shouted.

“I couldn’t get him out too!” She yelled back, finally sobbing, going slightly limp in the ghost’s hands as grief overwhelmed her.

“He’s down there?” Phantom said, eyes widening in shock. Why did he insist on pretending to be human? She was just so tired of it right now. He let go of her and she collapsed to her knees, sobbing as she wrapped her arms around herself, not even noticing as Phantom dove into the water.

The love of her life, gone. Because she left him behind.

Less than a minute passed before Phantom re-emerged, soaked with water, Jack in hand.

“Move!” He shouted at her, laying Jack down on the ground beside her. Maddie, shocked, did as she was told. “Fuck!” The ghost said, beginning chest compressions. “One, two, three, four…”

Maddie watched in amazement, her mind short circuited from grief and surprise. Phantom, the ghost they’d been trying to capture for nearly a year now… was correctly doing CPR on her husband, who’s body and chest were still. Why would he be trying so hard to save someone who wanted him dead? Why did he even know how to do CPR?

After the chest compressions - which he continued to do, even as he mumbled so lowly Maddie couldn’t hear him - he inhaled, pinched Jack’s nose, and pushed air into her husband’s mouth.

Phantom could breathe?

“Please,” he whispered when he pulled away, frantically beginning compressions again.

This had to be the most surreal sight Maddie had ever seen, a ghost trying to breathe life into her ghost hunting husband.

Wait… a ghost…

“Wait, Phantom!” She said, scrambling to her feet as her brain finished its restart.

“I’m trying to save him! Shoot me later!” He shouted at her as he moved to do mouth to mouth again, wet white hair plastered to his face.

“Intangibility! Get the water out that way!”

He groaned. “Dying really didn’t give me any more brain cells, did it?” He said, intangibility sweeping across Jack’s body, the water falling harmlessly from him.

As soon as that happened, Jack drew a heavy breath, trying to cough up water no longer in him as Phantom returned him to tangibility.

“Dad!” Phantom yelled, throwing his arms around Jack’s neck and burying his face into his chest.

Jack instinctively wrapped his arm around the ghost as he finished coughing.

Maddie, again, was stunned into silence as the ghost began to shake, audibly crying as he clung to her husband. The man he’d just called dad. Jack seemed likewise confused as he sat up, arms still wrapped around the crying ghost, looking to her in bewilderment.

“You’re okay!” Phantom said, clenching the fabric of Jack’s suit into his fists as he further burrowed into Jack.

“Uh, thanks, Phantom?” Jack said unsurely.

At Jack’s words, Phantom tensed and jumped away, hovering over the water. “Oh, haha, no problem, citizen!” He said, saluting at them.

“Phantom…” Jack started, standing and reaching for him.

“Oh, uh, would you two like a lift up?” Phantom asked, pulling nervously at his hands.

Maddie had always thought that gesture looked somewhat familiar and suddenly she could place why it was familiar.

“Danny?” She asked.

Phantom - Danny Phantom - went rigid. “Uh, haha, yeah, that’s my first name, everyone knows that.”

“Danno.” Jack said, holding his hand out towards the ghost.

Danny just eyed it warily and a knife twisted in her heart. He was afraid of them.

Danny’s accident had been worse than he’d told them, hadn’t it? He’d died long enough to make a ghost. She wondered how weird that must be, her son seeing his own ghost flying around town.

…seeing his ghost be shot by their parents.

Phantom floated a little closer, stopping just out of reach. His eyes flicked between the two of them and the next time he spoke, it was with fear and hope in his voice. “Mom? Dad?”

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 5

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes. GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.

Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.

Do you accept?

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

READ THE FIRST CHAPTER:

"Don't you have a nutritional regimen?" I ask, looking around.

Jay crosses his arms over his chest before shaking his head. "We know how many calories to ingest."

"We make spaghetti! She's Italian, she'll be able to cook them well!" Sunoo proposes.

"I don't think we can eat pasta, and we went overboard on carbs yesterday." Puffs Jake worriedly.

"It's not that bad come on…" Sunghoon replies, peeking out from the hallway, perhaps he has just returned.

"What do you say?" Jay asks.

"I mean, we don't have any TV appareances this week, right?" Heeseung adds.

I get it, Sunghoon wants me to cook so he can make fun of me, right? Heeseung too I guess. I can already hear them saying, "she's not even good for cooking."

I wonder how he heard the argument if he wasn't even in the kitchen.

I don't try to hide my annoyance with him, blatantly ignoring him as I check in the various kitchen counters. I don't even give him a sidelong glance.

No matter how unconscionably handsome he is, he called me "prostitute", and I will not easily forget that. He is the only one who cannot save himself even with his pretty face.

"Let's just do it." Heeseung continues.

Sunoo nods, Jungwon laughs nervously. "Are you sure?"

"Let's start eating normally again tomorrow. - Jaeyun says, nodding in turn. - By the way, could you take care of the groceries from now on? Our manager said there won't be the people who took care of these works before, I guess because you are there."

No problem Jake, if you're the one to ask then.

"I'll make you a list." He tells me.

"What would you cook now?" Jungwon then asks.

Actually, there is not much to improvise an italian pasta in this kitchen, and if I have to choose from the most famous dishes on the peninsula, I have to rule out pesto - which I don't know how to make and the one from the korean supermarket isn't good; also my beloved tortellini, I don't think they exist here, so the choice falls to carbonara.

The ingredients are variable and the substitutions easy to find in Korea: for example, if there is no pork cheek I can use pancetta, and instead of pecorino romano you can use the far more consumed and common parmesan cheese.

"Do you even have pasta here?" I sigh, confused. The counters are full of korean stuff, rice, condiments.

Sunoo puts a finger between his lips as he thinks, I pause to look at how beautiful and elegant he looks in person. "Maybe? We had it."

"And where is it?"

"We cooked it the night Heeseung went crazy." Jungwon reminds to the others, visibly embarrassed.

Jake and Sunoo burst out laughing, in completely opposite ways, Sunghoon mumbles amused, Jay just smiles, Niki does not seem amused. New connection? No, to tell the truth, the others say a lot, too.

"Was he going crazy?"

"He gets … irritable sometimes." Jungwon explains.

"Sometimes when? I should know!"

Heeseung chuckles, seeming satisfied to have caught all eyes. "Anyway, should we go buy it?"

"Sure." Jake replies ironically.

"I don't mean everyone, of course."

They're talking about me, I know. "I'll get changed and go."

"Do you have your things in Jay's room?"

"Yes." Jonseong answers for me.

Jake, who actually already knew the answer, twists his lips. "You shouldn't go into other people's rooms during someone else's shift."

How cute, why does he say things like that? Careful Jake, you've awakened a long-hidden part of me.

"It doesn't change anything, does it?" I ask him in a tone a little too smug, to the point that everyone turns to me.

I die a moment realizing that I'm not really in the right situation for answers like that.

I live with seven guys now, let's not forget, whoever they are.

"Instead it changes!" He retorts very belatedly, Jake.

"Instead it doesn't change shit." Jay blurts out, annoyed by the skit.

Heeseung coughs. "So I was saying, let's go shopping?"

"Shut up, the grown-ups are talking." Jay replies.

The oldest of them all (Heeseung) is so surprised that he starts laughing, and actually so am I with him.

"She should keep things in all the rooms." Jaeyun proposes.

Jongseong rubs his forehead unnerved. "What's the point? It's a waste of time."

"I don't even have enough things to distribute them in five rooms." I add, honestly amused.

"You don't have five things?" Sunghoon asks, with a bully grin that erasing my smile.

"That's not the point!" He brings them back to order, Jay.

"Look then the next day she goes to someone else's room, what's the big deal if she does it for a second on your day?" Sunoo then asks, turning to an embarrassed Jake.

"It changes for me."

"Then keep things in Jake's room too, the others don't mind." He fixs everything, the good leader Jungwon, democratically.

"Fine for me." Jake nods.

"Of course is fine for you." Jay comments.

"So, I was saying, shall we go shopping?" Heeseung resumes the conversation.

"Go who?" Asks from the back of the kitchen, Niki, whose voice practically thunders.

"I can go alone."

"Of course you should, isn't because we don't want to accompany you - says Jungwon with ears adorably reddened - but because we would be recognized."

"I disguise myself well." Heeseung explains.

"You can't accompany her on my shift." Jake replies, again with this.

"I said I'm going alone." They ignore me.

"But why, are you jealous?" Heeseung asks him.

Oh no, here we go. What a fucking situation, thank you very much. It's not that I doesn't know, he asked that in a disgusted tone, as if it's something negative - it's also obvious why, and I… get hurt, again, way too much.

But why? What do I care, after all?

It's just that in front of others, who treat me as a human being anyway, I feel ashamed. I feel very ashamed.

"No, I just don't like to share. I can disguise myself too."

Heeseung mumbles in disbelief. "They would recognize you in a second."

"You too!" Jake responds curtly.

"Yah, use honorifics when talking to someone older!"

"The question is - Sunghoon interrupts them - why all this?"

"This is escalating. Go alone." Jay practically commands me, I nod and flit into his room.

With the door closed behind me I feel anxiety pressing in my chest, but what's going on in there? And is Jake sincere? I mean, really? Why is he so possessive? And anyway, isn't this somehow insulting to me? We don't even know each other, in fact it's like I'm an object he wants to appropriate.

The strange thing is that, it is a time service.

I don't like this situation, I don't like these feelings.

But still - as Sunghoon said, why? He can be an asshole Heeseung too, but he wanted to accompany me too, right? I stop mulling it over as I get dressed, rejoin them who have scattered and turn to Jay.

"Keys, please."

"Go with Sunghoon."

"What?" No way, and why is he telling me this?

"He can't stand you, and he's a stubborn guy. Make friends."

"Are you asking me to seduce him?" I improvise comically.

He looks at me ruefully. "No, to make friends. That guy hangs out with Wonyoung, I really don't think he's going to give in - he crosses his arms over his chest, looks thoughtful - but Jake? What have you done with him? Has he asked you to fuck?"

Is he giving me the third degree? What about Heeseung anyway? Why is he interested in me? If he doesn't mention it means he's certainly playing with me, bullying me like Sunghoon, but in a funny way sometimes.

"Jake is peculiar, huh?" I ask amused.

Jay is not in the same mood. "You find? Anyway, don't do it if you don't want to, you did it yesterday. It wouldn't be a problem if you refused."

"I don't think he has those intentions." I say that but I don't know if I mean it.

It seems unlikely to me anyway that he wants to do it right away, maybe he wants a friend to worship him, and in return, he'll give her a chance to sleep with him sometimes? Why is this idea so specific?

This scenario is not bad…

"Okay, that's better."

"But why with Sunghoon? I can go alone, it's not far. It's not even that late."

"Does it bother you that much? Sunghoon, I mean."

"Exactly."

"Make friends with him, in my opinion you have the ability. Show that you are not interested in him, he will trust you in time."

Me? The ability to be friends with Sunghoon? But then why do I have to be one even if I don't like him? He doesn't like me either.

"He called me prostitute."

"He didn't know you yet, though."

But why is Jay's tone so authoritative? It makes my knees shake and not only. I look at him in silence, then lower my gaze like a child who has been scolded.

"If he hurts you or hurts you, I'll take care of it. But try, at least."

"Okay, but Heeseung could still come." I say, and I know I shouldn't, but I'm still curious.

"And why him?"

"He was the one who proposed."

"And you shouldn't care, right? We decide who does what, that's fine, don't make unnecessary problems for yourself."

How cold he became, all of a sudden. Did I make him angry? Why don't I feel guilty?

Okay, I will remain curious. I apologize.

He gives me the keys and a reassuring look, and as I reach the door I find myself slamming my shoulder against Sunghoon's arm. I stagger, but I don't fall. He doesn't even apologize, just glares at me and adjusts the black t-shirt he is wearing.

He is not happy with this choice either; I get the impression that it was some kind of punishment. Not that it's all that much better for me.

However, I can't help noticing how he has changed, that he now wears a tight black t-shirt, a black cap, and a raised mask almost over his eyes. He is handsome, darned if he is, even though only his eyes are visible.

They make so much of his broad shoulders, his height, his simple presence.

"Come on." He says, rudely opening the door for me.

I walk past him with my head held high, who cares.

Let him complain all he wants, I just have to buy the ingredients - still, I can't help but wonder why he gave in to their will, or why they wanted to force him.

"Why didn't you stay home?" I ask him, as we wait for the elevator.

"They have to give you a credit card, so we're paying for now. No one trusts you to leave their card so someone should have come anyway."

"You could have made a transfer if it was necessary. But I have the money for this expense, I didn't need it anyway." I mumbles, entering first.

He snorts as well, looking annoyed. "I don't care what you say, I'm here now, so stop complaining."

"I don't care what you say either, let's be clear." I reply.

When we reach the ground floor, exiting the building where the penthouse is located, I walk toward the nearest supermarket indicated by Mappe but he grabs me by the collar of the long-sleeved cotton t-shirt I'm wearing.

"Where are you going?"

"Let go of me, we have to go this way!" I protest, still being held by the shirt.

He mumbles in disbelief. "What? No, let's go with the car."

I'm not listening to him, I'm reminded of something I didn't ask Jay: why didn't Jake drive me, it being his shift?

Damn, I really don't want to go along with him, my body rejects the idea of getting along with him.

"Why didn't Jake come? It was his shift."

He doesn't leave me; in fact, he starts dragging me by the collar. "Because he's an idiot. The shift thing, absurd…" He shakes his head in disbelief.

"Yes, but leave me."

He doesn't listen to me, just keeps walking, and I'm forced to follow right behind him. "Really, you're not even that beautiful."

"Neither are you, actually."

I reply, but I don't think so at all. I have to lie, I have no weapons against him, practically.

"Bullshit." He sneers.

I snort, he still holds me back. "Seriously, if I had to choose in order who to fuck, you'd be the last."

"Aside from that, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'll never sleep with you - he says, laughing heartily. - Secondly, if I wanted to sleep with you, I'd only need, to be generous, thirty seconds."

I laugh too, unsure though. "That's what you'd like."

"I don't like you enough to challenge you." He ends the conversation, having reached the parking lot.

He lets go of his grip on my shirt almost throwing me against the car, however, I realize that he was not violent at all in pushing me, on the contrary. I even notice his gaze become surprised when he notices me banging against the car, but I think he is worried about the latter.

"Then stay with the doubt." I reply, before getting into the car.

"Are you trying to use reverse psychology?"

"There are girls who do not desire you. They exist."

"Really? I don't see any."

They all have bigger egos than each other, it's obvious.

"What? Can't you tell when someone doesn't like you? Are you… kind of stupid?" I ask him, as he starts the car.

He chuckles coldly. "We don't have that confidence, stay in your safe zone."

"Then don't insult me. Don't make fun of me. If possible, don't even talk to me. You'll be crossing the line of bearability anyway." I reply, looking fixedly in front of me.

"If you hadn't wanted that, you wouldn't have come here."

"Then I should have asked you for the money for the lawyer, the trial, and the inevitable compensation."

"You should have worked something out with your parents, they would have been able to advise you." He says all calmly, while driving with a relaxed air.

"But what do you know?!" I ask loudly, very loudly.

But how? What's the matter with me? I shouldn't listen to him, annoying me is his goal, and I'm letting him win.

"We don't all have loving families to support us if we want to skate or become idols. - I continue, I'm really fed up with it. - You talk so much because you are rich, does it seem easy to procure a billion won?"

"But what do you know?" He asks, in a much, much colder tone of voice. I have never heard him so serious, I have chills.

"I don't know anything, that's why I don't talk out of turn!"

"You just did."

"You started it! I know you think I'm some kind of crazy person who wants to live the fan dream, but as true as that may be, it's not like I haven't looked for other solutions."

"And you don't care what we think of you in the end?"

"It's obvious, I think about it all the time. - I rant, looking at him. - But let's be honest, is the opinion of some singers I have a crush on more important, or a debt that can potentially lead me to criminal prosecution if I don't pay it back? If you have parents who love you, and protect you, surely you are more comfortable, but I don't have that fortune nor do I have the strength to take on a lawsuit that I will lose regardless."

Sunghoon does not move his gaze even once in my direction; on the contrary, he remains silent for a long time. My words hang in the air, no feedback, no reaction, I am genuinely hurt by him.

I wasn't hoping to touch his heart, but at least to reconcile the situation, explain my motives, show that I am not the opportunist he thinks I am.

However he doesn't care, evidently, he parks as if nothing happened in the parking lot of a large supermarket and then gets out of the car. I stay a few seconds inside, still shaken, even if he doesn't care I have to at least be the one to console myself, to tell me it's all right, or the tears will come out and Sunghoon will have won, again, like the kids that tormented me as a child.

I breathe deeply, swallow, and then get out of the car. I must endure, I must behave. To do so, I have decided that from now on I will ignore him, pretend he doesn't exist.

I just have to find the ingredients.

At this time of the afternoon, on an ordinary weekday , there are not many people. They're all at work, it makes sense, and that's good for Sunghoon, whose six feet is pretty conspicuous anyway, especially in South Korea, where ladies stare and chatter loudly when they see a tall guy.

"What do you need? What do you need to cook?"

I don't care what he says, I proceed toward the relevant departments, and although I see him keeping up with difficulty, I have no intention of backing down. This guy is a soulless monster, that's why his room looks like this.

"Why don't you answer me?"

I take a whole piece of smoked bacon, it's not exactly what I was looking for but it will still do. He watches, perhaps expecting some kind of answer, but I advance to the pasta section, where I desperately look for bucatini. Nothing of the sort, I settle for thick spaghetti.

"Oh, you're bothering me." He says, following me like a little dog.

Yes that's right Sunghoon, that's what you are, a dog.

"Do you feel excited because you're ignoring Sunghoon from Enhypen?" He asks amusedly, whispering.

I just put a couple of bags of parmesan cheese in the basket. I don't care, I won't say anything. To me it's as if he doesn't exist, and it's only after a while that I realize I've taken it a little too personally - what else could I expect in this situation? For him to hug me and comfort me?

Of course, though, not even a word of support, not a blink, like a soulless robot. Just thinking about it makes me angry again.

"It needs.... what else does it need? - I ask myself, under my breath, looking at the basket. - Ah! The eggs!" I exclaim, in italian.

He looks at me strangely and annoyed, not knowing what I said, i'n too angry to rejoice.

"You know what? I don't even know why I'm trying to talk to you. I don't care." He blurts out, crossing his arms over his chest as he continues to follow and observe me.

I reach for the eggs, grab some black pepper, at this point I think I have everything. Will the pasta be enough? How much do seven guys eat? In Italy I would say not even two kg would be enough, but considering that these are koreans, idols to boot, maybe a kilo will be enough and more. I'm not that hungry either, to tell you the truth, someone closed my stomach.

I should ask Sunghoon but I won't.

However, I don't even have the number of the others. I have to ask Jay somehow.

I have an idea! I don't want to do it in front of Sunghoon, so I move around a bit taking advantage of a moment when he's distracted to check his phone, pulling out mine and going to the Enhypen's official account, it's the only desperate move I can make.

I write in direct, with my account: how much pasta?

I stay a few seconds waiting, they don't even display, I don't even know if they are running the account. I mean, probably not, however I thought they at least had access - but even so, who knows how many people write to them.

I put my hands in my hair, how annoying. Should I ask him? No, better to get more, at most it won't cook.

I completely lost track of Sunghoon, hopefully he'll leave on his own, I'll pay, I don't care. I can go back to the pasta department, I'll get another packet.

"Looks like you want to make a carbonara." Says a guy, behind me, in english.

I turn around and see him observing in my basket, I narrow my eyes, I think I've already figured out what kind he is, I've met several of them in Korea and they are quite common.

"Yeah - I nod, embarrassed and in a bit of a hurry. The guy in front of me is a nice enough guy, he keeps himself in shape, I can tell from his tight clothes and even though he's not too tall he still makes his figure. - I really have to go now."

"You speak english very well." He tells me quickly, preventing me from truncating the discussion.

I roll my eyes annoyed. "Thank you."

"And you can speak korean, too?"

"Yes."

"Where are you from? I've never seen a girl like you."

There it is, the classic foreign pickup line. There are some guys in South Korea who make it a philosophy of life to bed as many foreigners as possible.

"Look, I'd be in a bit of a hurry." I remind him cordially, taking a short bow.

"Can you at least give me your number? Or instagram?"

I don't physically have the time to think about dating from anyone right now, nor do I have any interest in becoming the next line on his list.

"I'm engaged." I nod.

"Come on, really? We can be friends anyway."

Insistent this guy, it's time to just go.

"No, thanks." I reply, turning around ready to go.

"Yah, how dare you? - He takes it personally, this idiot, grabbing me by the arm, speaking in korean. - Just because I was nice you can't ignore me like that."

If you knew how I'm ignoring Sunghoon from Enhypen you wouldn't be so offended.

"Look, this is not the day. Let go of me." I chill him, with a chilling look.

"I just wanted your fucking contact." He raises his voice, but how dare he? I move my arm forcefully.

Blatant, it's a just as I thought. Since I'm a foreigner, and I'm pretty, he has to convince me at all costs to meet him, it's not even a surprise - it's happened to me before, but I've always rejected overly rough approaches, like this one.

"Are you done fucking? I've been watching you for a while."

I turn around, Sunghoon has appeared behind me. I'm not impressed that he seems to want to defend me; on the contrary, I find it humiliating and don't want his help.

"Are you her boyfriend?" Blurts out the one, who is obviously unnerved by the taller boy's interruption.

"What? - He asks in a disgusted tone. - No."

"Then turn away, you idiot."

"What did you call me?" Sunghoon sneers, approaching the guy, who perceives the height difference much more judging by the way he looks at my roommate.

"I just want his contact."

I see Sunghoon's pupils roll; he's fed up. "And she doesn't want to give it to you, so you're the one who has to turn away, right?"

I know, I know. Sunghoon is an asshole, I know that right now he's only helping me so as not to cause trouble, also because if the guy went too far maybe he would have to intervene and it would be risky in his position, however…

The way he proudly keeps his hands in the pockets of his black pants, the threatening way he looks at this guy, his warm, deep voice, his confidence, it's a little too much for a poor, poor girl like me to handle.

"I'm leaving." I announce, waving goodbye to the stranger and resuming walking, this time toward the speakers.

Sunghoon follows me, the guy doesn't, I guess a little intimidated by him. "But what is it, does everyone like you?"

"I'm too pretty, in fact."

Shit, I forgot the vow of silence, the answer came from my mouth first than from my brain, I didn't have time to reason.

I hear him sneer. "You'd like that. You're talking to me now, huh? Why did I defend you? Are you that dumb?"

Ah, what a nuisance, what a nuisance. I had even avoided him, sowed, but that harassing guy wasted my time and Sunghoon caught up with me.

At the checkouts there is not much of a line, but as I try to get behind an elderly man waiting his turn, Sunghoon grabs me back by the collar of my shirt and makes me change direction.

"Let's go to the checkout machines, dumb."

"We're not close, stop talking to me like that." I reply, starting to pass products over the cash register.

"I'm paying for you, how can we not be close?"

"For that matter - I say - let me pay. When the card is ready I will use your money, or that of someone other than you."

"I'm not paying because I want to do you a favor - he replies, shifting with his hand mine that held the phone next to the pos, using his to pay. - I have to, so don't bother."

We exit the supermarket, look at each other for a split second, then he proceeds to the car. I, holding the bag, look around - I don't know Gangnam, so I don't know my way around, but there are bound to be means of getting back alone.

"What are you doing?" He asks, noticing that I haven't followed him.

"I'm going home alone, I don't want to go with you."

"Do you know how?"

I mumble annoyed. "Yes."

"It doesn't seem real. Anyway, we don't have to talk - he huffs, reaching over to take the grocery bag from my hands. - Besides, they'd bust my balls if I came back alone, I'd have to wait for you to come back with the means. Let's just go."

He says that, but I don't move.

He's not my friend, we don't even know each other, but then why am I so deeply offended? I should just put on a good face, pretend that I don't care, that he hasn't hurt me, but I just can't.

"Yah, are you listening to me?" He starts to get nervous.

"You called me prostitute, you kept teasing me, humiliating me in front of others, you criticized me not knowing me, not knowing anything about me. When I tried to explain how I felt, you didn't bat an eye, I don't want to spend a second with you."

"Would you rather be treated as an object? Like Jake and Jay do? I act the way I am, don't you realize that the only one who respects you is me?"

Huh? What…. say all of a sudden? And why does it hurt? No, they-they don't? They treat me like a human being, don't they? Or do they? And then - he, respect me? I don't think so, on the contrary I think he attacks me just for fun.

"I'm still at your service, no? In order for this period to end quickly and without any side effects, I just have to make sure that I don't make trouble, and that's what I'm going to do. Honestly, I too have feelings, I too am sensitive, I too get hurt-"

"Do you want me to apologize?" He interrupts me, serious.

I don't know what to say at the moment, then I tighten my lips angrily. "No, I have no use for your fake apology. I'm just asking you to treat me normally and I won't bother you, I'll strive to never be a problem for you."

"Did you feel so bad about the thing in the car? - He sighs, as if tired of my unnecessary trouble, as we get to his expensive car again. I don't know why, but I can't answer truthfully, he turns to me. - Is that so? Did you expect…"

"I didn't expect anything. I don't want anything from you."

"Then why are you so angry?"

I don't fucking know, Sunghoon!

"Let's stop talking about it, I don't care anymore."

He sneers again. "Do you want it to be okay between us?"

"What?" I ask, sitting back in the passenger seat as he rests the grocery bag between my ankles and I for a second, not breathing, he's honestly too close to my legs as he sorts things out.

"Then be good."

"Be good how?"

"Are there other ways to play nice in a situation like this?"

Huh? Are you asking me not to indulge or something? It still doesn't make sense, if we assume that I disgust him, however, it might make sense as far as the balance of the band is concerned.

I don't feel like a threat frankly, I just see males being males and therefore wanting to get laid.

"I really don't care that it's good between us." Is my answer.

As he drives off in the car, a warning light starts to go flashes, it sounds like the seat belt light but we both have it, so I see him looking at me confused. I move a millimeter to check that mine is attached properly, but surprise, this one being unfastened abruptly returns to its place, hitting me with the metal part on my face.

"Fuck!" I shout in italian, holding my sore nose.

He bursts out laughing, has a… he has a beautiful laugh. "You dumb, tie her up good."

"Don't call me dumb, I said!" I groan, still with bandaged nose, still sore.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

Huh?

Shit, I don't answer. I have like a thud in my heart.

"No, you can leave." I say, lacing it up properly.

"So you don't care if it goes well with us."

"If it goes well with you, it might go badly with everyone else - I say, not understanding why the pain doesn't go away, it's strong, it burns me so bad. - However, your CEO has been clear on the issue, it's not like I can just refuse."

"He is not our CEO." He explains, as he turns left.

I look at him, am i... sad?

Recently, Enhypen have, in fact, been integrated by Hybe, despite being Belift before, a sort of branch of the former. I have no idea how this was received by the boys, but judging from Sunghoon's reaction, he not exactly well.

"Why are you still holding your nose?" He asks me after a while, never returning to the old argument.

I don't want to admit that it still hurts, so I take my hand away and don't answer.

I see him, turning to me briefly and then looking back at the road. "You're bleeding."

"What?!" I practically scream, lowering the sunshade to check in the mirror: I have a line of blood about to reach my lips.

Meanwhile, Sunghoon has surprisingly pulled over. "Wait, don't touch." It's not advice so much as an order.

"Why did you pull over? It's nothing, he's passing by."

"You're dirtying my car." He reminds me.

Idiot! Idiot! Do you think he cares about you, someone like him?

As he opens the glove compartment in front of my legs, his uncovered arm grazes my thigh covered by too-thin pants evidently, as I perceive this contact as incredibly intense.

I shudder; I have to pull myself together.

He has a small purse inside, pulls out a pack of tissues and hands them to me. "Come on, clean yourself up and I'll go again." What an arrogant tone, as if he were the injured party.

I do as he tells me, use a handkerchief to wipe myself by looking in the mirror, when I finish I close the sunshade. "Okay, let's go."

I tell him, but he is still looking at me.

"More is coming out, maybe I should take you to the hospital?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What if you die in the car?"

"Then it gets dirty, right?"

"No, then I get arrested."

Man, I feel like laughing but I don't want to, with every fiber of my being I definitely don't want to laugh.

I see him take another handkerchief after taking the package out of my hands, roll it up creating a small tip. Then, suddenly, in a totally uncalculated way, he approaches me and, first wipes away my other blood, then uses the same handkerchief to close my nostril.

He has a delicate touch, actually. His focused eyes are quite beautiful. Her breathing, calm and regular, is easier to listen to at this distance, and it is really pleasant. The one not breathing evenly is me, having him so close.

I like the way he touches me, I like the way he dabs the blood gently.

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt?"

Well, to be honest, I don't feel anything now. The only burning is the one that's enveloping my whole body and it's his fault.

"Yes." I answer coldly.

He doesn't even look at me as he stows his purse, closes the dashboard, touching my thigh with his elbow again, and then gets back behind the wheel. "Okay, let's go."

Throughout the trip we don't talk about anything, we don't even call each other names - I don't know if I've been able to accomplish the quest Jay has given me, I haven't even tried really, though, it's definitely different in our relationship now.

Not necessarily for the better.

When we get back to the penthouse, Jake opens the door for us, in a second, as if anxiously waiting. He looks at me, I try to do the same but lower my gaze because I'm still a little uncomfortable with his disarming beauty.

"What did you do to her, you bastard!" Jaeyun asks, grabbing him by the shirt.

"Are you idiot?"

"What happened?" Jay asks, arriving slightly late at the door. Noticing the damage to my nose, he glares at Sunghoon.

"Really? - Rant the suspect. - I didn't do it."

"But what happened?"

"His car hates me." I reply, under my breath, passing them and entering with the grocery bag.

NEXT CHAPTER:

[teaberrii]

Chapter 27: Final Goodbyes

You've been Cupid for as long as you can remember. You've brought countless soulmates together, yet you've never found love.

When you're assigned to bring two childhood friends back together, it should be simple until you unexpectedly catch feelings for the mysterious and cold Ph.D. student, Dan Heng, the man with a soulmate… the man with answers to your past.

Dan Heng/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave them alone?”

Pom pops open a beer just as Gepard sits on the couch with his own can on the opposite side. While you and Young are upstairs, talking things out, Pom joins Gepard for a couple of drinks in Dan Heng’s apartment. Pom has just finished telling Gepard almost everything that’s been going on, including Young’s revelation that there’s a chance to save you… and get rid of the curse.

“Well, don’t keep us in the dark!” Nanook said as if he was the one who was going to die. “Are you saying there’s a way to get rid of the curse and keep her alive?”

“You aren’t human,” Young said to you, “which means you can still wield magic. If you’re human, any magic associated with you wouldn’t exist because you wouldn’t have the power to wield it.”

Lan looked at Young. “But, are you sure that will work?”

“Has that ever happened before?” Pom asked. “A God… changing to a human?”

Sampo curiously looked at you. “You’re awfully quiet, dearie.” He grinned. “Or… has it finally hit you?” You slowly looked up without moving your head. “The day you officially became who you are today.”

Pom puts his can of beer on the table after taking a long chug. “If what Young says is true, she can’t live as a god anymore. It’s either she becomes human or… she dies.”

“That doesn’t seem like a hard choice to make,” Gepard says quietly. “Or, maybe it’s just me. I can’t see why anyone would choose to die when they have other options.”

Pom leans back. “I guess. But, you’ve always been human. Gods… or magical beings, we’re, well, magic. It’d be like taking away one of our means of survival.”

Gepard puts his beer on the table. “Young is in Dan Heng’s body… He’s not going to stay, is he?”

“He and Dan Heng can’t coexist in the same period since, well, they’re kinda the same person. It’ll get increasingly painful as time goes on, even worse if Dan Heng fights back.”

“Dan Heng can fight back?”

Pom nods. “It’s his body to begin with. The fact that Young doesn’t look like he’s suffering or anything… My guess is that Dan Heng is letting him take control of his body. For now, at least.” Pom crunches the empty can and tosses it into the recycle. “Which is why I think it’s a good idea to have them talk it out.”

“...Hey. Were you with her when she became a god?" Gepard asks. "What happened to you?"

When Pom found you, you were still holding the knife that took Jing Yuan’s life. His lifeless body was hunched over, his forehead touching your shoulder.

Pom stepped closer and quietly said your name.“...He’s gone.” Pom gently touched your shoulder, and he felt you shaking. “It’s over.”

“No…”

Suddenly, you grabbed Jing Yuan by the shoulders and forced him to look at you. Pom wasn’t sure what was going on when you started screaming at him to tell you what he meant by him and Young protecting you. Eventually, Pom put his arms underneath your arms and forced you away from Jing Yuan’s dead body.

Then, Pom spun you around. “We need to leave. Now.”

It took you a brief moment, but you stashed away all of your burning, unanswered questions, and left with Pom.

Death was all around you. You smelt it in the air, heard the feasting of flesh, and saw the lifeless, bloody bodies on the ground.

You were crossing through an open area, the same place where Young’s execution took place. That was when you saw it.

The red tape around its handle shone in the night, and the gold around the floating sphere looked as if it was sparkling, deliberately trying to get your attention in the chaos. You recognized it immediately. It was Young’s favourite weapon: The Cloud-Piercer. But what was it doing stuck in the ground? Where did it come from? You walked over, and you saw that it was pierced in a small puddle of dry blood. The very place where Young was executed.

“...How odd.” When Pom tried reaching out, he was instantly shocked. A short scream, and he quickly pulled back his hand. “What was that?”

You reached over and successfully grabbed it by the shaft. As you pulled it out of the ground, the gold around the sphere slowly began to fade. “This belonged to Young,” you said quietly.

“Young? Don’t tell me this was here the whole time.”

You knew it wasn't. You had forced yourself to walk by this courtyard a hundred times during your time back at the palace, and you had never seen the Cloud-Piercer until today. When you heard the monstrous snarls getting closer, you and Pom fled the scene with the spear in your hand.

“Eventually, we had to split up,” Pom says.

Gepard is silent for a moment until he frowns. “I’m still surprised at why you stuck by her side this entire time. This was her revenge, wasn’t it?”

“Truth be told, I didn’t think the curse would be from the Grimoire,” Pom says quietly. “It wasn’t until after I found out, and, well… I didn’t want to go against her. I didn’t need to make an enemy out of her.” A sigh. “But even after it was all over, I couldn’t find it in me to just go separate ways.”

“Even after she tricked you?”

“...I would’ve stopped her if I knew had to die for this curse to stop. She tricked me because she knew. It might be twisted to say this, but she never put me in deliberate danger. She was the first human I really befriended. And, well… I’ll support whatever choice she makes, but I really hope she chooses to stay.”

◆◆◆

You heard a building collapse behind you.

Yet, you kept walking.

An innocent man ran toward you. He stopped and collapsed just as an arrow pierced his heart.

Yet, you kept walking.

You could smell the rotting, burning flesh around you.

Yet, you kept walking.

Suddenly, you felt something stop you; it was the first time you looked down. A young girl was bleeding from the head, her eyes wide and her lips dry.

“...Please,” she whimpered. “...Please help me.”

You lifted your foot, shrugging her hand off your blood-stained boot. Then, you raised the spear in your hand. And, as soon as you stared into her eyes, you aimed the spear directly toward her heart.

As you took out the Cloud-Piercer from the dead girl’s body, you saw her eyes had clouded over. She was infected, and you’d spared her from turning into a monster. You and Pom had to split up, but you had a good idea of where he might be.

By the time you reached the sandy outskirts of the palace, you heard footsteps behind you. With the Cloud-Piercer raised, you swiftly spun around and saw a tall man with teal-coloured eyes.

“Hello, dearie,” he said with a smile. “We finally meet.”

You’ve been quiet ever since leaving the hospital. Young puts a hot cup of tea in front of you and sits on the opposite side.

“...Drink something,” he says softly.

“You said you wanted me to go with you,” you say quietly. “But, you told us of a choice for me to stay human.”

“It’s like you said,” Young says with a kind look in his eyes. “I made a mistake centuries ago, and now… I want to make it up to you. If you come with me, we will finally be together. If you choose to stay human, you’ll be here...” A small pause. “...With Dan Heng.”

You suck in a small breath. “But like Lan said… Has that ever happened before? How does that work?”

Young puts his tea on the table. “As a god, you walk with those who have perished to the other side. That strips away your powers. Then, you must make your way back to the living. But…”

“But?”

“It’s a painful process.”

“...And how do you know this?”

Young puts his hand on yours. “It was something I was researching. To tie my soul to the locket, I had to learn everything there was about the afterlife. This was something I learned about.”

“Well, it’s better than what I was imagining… At least I don’t have to beg anybody,” you say after a short silence. Then, you hold his hand. “You said I was supposed to forget about you when you died. Yet, you still tied your soul to this locket. Why? What if… What if I did move on? Were you going to witness that?”

“...I wanted to stay by your side… protecting you.” Young’s eyes land on the pendant still around your neck. “As long as you wore the locket, I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know you said you can’t stay, but if I choose to live… your soul won’t be tied to this locket anymore?”

“The magic in that locket was made for you. If you choose to live, all of the magic associated with you will be gone. The good and the bad.”

You look down and sigh. “It’s… a little late to ask this now, but what would’ve happened if I died back then?”

“When it was your time, I wanted to be the one to walk with you to the other side. You wouldn’t remember me, but it would be a new beginning.”

“But that beginning never came, did it?”

You and Young don’t have to look to know that it’s Sampo. Frowning, you say, “This is a private conversation. You aren’t invited.”

Sampo, leaning against the counter, says, “You can always pretend I’m not here. Continue on with your post-love trauma.”

Young suddenly appears in front of the mercenary. “Why are you here?”

“I’m waiting for my answer.” Sampo looks at you and smiles. “It’s rare that the gods took pity on a human like you when you tried. You really were someone special, Cupid."

“Pom said you mentioned it before,” you say, glaring at Sampo. “No one knows what you’re talking about.”

“You and Pom were put on trial for your crimes. You fell prey to the Grimoire and used it without permission. This got their attention.”

“Who?”

“The Stellaron Hunters, of course.”

“...Who are you?” you asked cautiously.

“I’m here on a job, but you can call me Sampo.” He smiled. “That’s what I like the pretty girls to call me.” The tip of the Cloud-Piercer was at his throat. Your hard gaze was fixed on him, but he still maintained his calm, leisurely composure. “Jokes aside… I’m here because you’ve been summoned.”

Your brows furrowed just as Sampo snapped his fingers. The sand around you began to swirl upwards until you couldn’t keep your eyes open. It became so violent that it began cutting into your skin, snapping off the locket around your neck. The scorching heat melted away, and the sand beneath your feet hardened. You no longer smelled blood, and a single hit of a gavel replaced the snarls and groans of the undead.

When you slowly opened your eyes, you were in a cathedral, standing on a round podium with gold bars caging you in. A stone wall encircled you, and sitting on top were five people on large, gold thrones. At first, the top half of their faces were hidden in shadow until the ceiling above crumbled just enough to allow a faint glimmer of light to shine on them.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, making you turn around once more. But this time, you saw Pom… surrounded by the same gold bars as you.

You opened your mouth, but it wasn’t your voice you heard.

“Welcome, dearie.” You spun around and saw Sampo with a hand in his pocket. “To the Hunter's Court of Law.”

“...Wow. It’s hard to believe they’re the ones who started this whole thing. They look harmless!” You turned and saw a teenager with her elbow on an armrest of the throne.

“Quiet, Silver.” You turned again and saw a man—at least you thought it was a man—adorned in metal plating from head to toe. "Did you forget she's the one who used the Grimoire?"

"A classic example of how appearances can be deceiving."

Then, your eyes landed on a man with fair skin and red eyes. His cold stare was one of slight intrigue but also disgust.

A woman whose hair was tied in a loose ponytail stood. “Shall the trial begin?”

“You destroyed countless lives and tore apart happy families,” Sampo continues. “The Stellaron Hunters ruled for you to take responsibility.” You close your eyes and hear the single thunder of the gravel. “You were sentenced to rule as the God of Love and bring together the families you destroyed across all three kingdoms until you met the reincarnation.”

“...Yet, I was supposed to bring him and Stelle together."

Sampo glances at Young. “If you hadn’t existed, he and Stelle would’ve gotten their happily ever after.” Sampo sighs. “But, I guess they underestimated him.”

“Underestimate? What are you—”

“Dan Heng wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you,” Young says.

“But the man did, anyway.” Sampo rolls his eyes. “He screwed up the order of things and now we’re here.”

“...And our memories?” you ask. “Why couldn’t Pom and I remember anything?”

Sampo smiles. “That was also part of your ruling. By starting on a clean slate and bringing the love you destroyed back together… maybe that would erase the darkness in your heart.”

“...Didn’t think they would be so kind,” you mutter.

Sampo clicks his tongue. “So, what’s it going to be, Cupid?”

You shoot him a look. “You said I only have two options. To live or to die. What about choosing to become human?”

“Well"—Sampo smiles at Young—"he didn’t lie to you. It’s an option, but a painful one. Many people gave up and just turned their butts around and stayed in the afterlife where they belonged.” Sampo sits next to you but you instantly move away. “Young has to go back. So, you can happily go back with him and let fate play out what it’s supposed to be. Or, you can make Dan Heng wait for you on a promise that you might not be able to keep. It’s your choice, dearie.”

◆◆◆

That night, Young is asleep on Dan Heng’s bed when he suddenly hears a faint voice.

“...Get up.”

Young opens his eyes, but he doesn’t see the familiar white ceiling of Dan Heng’s room. Instead, he’s staring at a bright hole in the sky surrounded by dark clouds. Young gets to his feet and notices he’s standing on a large, round flat rock with broken pillars all around. He’s also in his old form. Upon hearing footsteps approaching him, Young turns around, and his eyes widen when he sees Dan Heng.

“What are you—”

“...I’m done just sitting around,” Dan Heng interrupts. “I heard everything. I know… about everything.”

Young narrows his eyes. “Are you going to try to convince me to get her to stay? Her best option is to leave this world.”

“And go with you?” Dan Heng scoffs.

“I might’ve made a mistake,” Young admits, “but her revenge was not in vain. She destroyed the order of things. There were no laws… only chaos and destruction. The world became a blank canvas, and through that, everyone could start over. People learned to share information and cooperate to prevent the same thing from happening again. And since then, there hasn’t been another war, unlike in the past.” Young walks toward Dan Heng until he’s in front of him. “She deserves to rest after all she’s done and been through.”

Dan Heng’s gaze hardens. “She deserves a life of her own, to pursue what she wants.”

“...And are you saying you can make her happy? After running away from what happened to your mother?"

"I'm sorry," Dan Heng says flatly. "Do you mean our mother?" A small sigh, and he says your name. "You really don't understand her."

Young scoffs. “I grew up with her. You’ve known her for less than a year, and you’re saying I don’t understand the woman I love?”

“If you understood her, you wouldn’t have done what you did. You had your chance and failed because you thought her happiness was with you. But it wasn’t.” Young’s eyes darken. “You took away her choices. The war… the curse… that was her decision. Was it wise? Was it the best choice? It’s hard to say, but you left her with no choice.”

Young is silent for a moment. Then, he says, “...I can’t believe I’m arguing with myself."

“We’re different,” Dan Heng says flatly. “Besides, you wanted me to help her move on.” A short pause. “I think she already has.”

Upstairs, you’ve just closed the fridge and turned around when you nearly dropped the small carton of milk you’re holding. Pom stands behind you, his eyes half-open.

“Geezus,” you say. “How long have you been standing there?”

Pom rubs his eyes and yawns. “Just now… I couldn’t sleep.” You turn on the light just as he points to the carton. “Can we share?”

And that’s how you and Pom end up sitting on the couch with two glasses of milk.

“...Have you decided?” Pom asks quietly. You glance at him. “Are you really just going to leave?”

“What makes you think that?”

Pom looks down. “I would imagine Young would be trying to convince you to go with him.”

“Hm… Why does it sound like you don’t want me to leave?” you ask teasingly.

“I remember the day we were tried in front of the Stellaron Hunters. You were sentenced to becoming the God of Love while I was cursed. I couldn’t change my form out of my own free will. I wasn’t human back then. I was a magical being. And, if you go back to being human, you won’t be able to use… or see magic.”

You lean forward and put a hand on top of his. “Pom… What are you getting at?”

Pom gives you a sad smile. “No matter what you choose, we won’t be able to see each other again.”

“N-No. That’s ridiculous!”

“Pom’s right.”

You look past Pom and see Lan.

“Pom was never a god,” Lan says. “But, it’s not like he’s going to disappear. Just, you won’t be able to see him anymore.”

“Well? What are we going to do about the shapeshifter?” Silver asked.

“...Losing his memories and his ability to freely change his form… That’s enough punishment for him.”

Silver raised a brow. “Seriously? That’s it? It’s not like you to be so understanding, Blade. What happens after he gets his memories back? Nothing? How lame.”

“You can see they care for each other.” Everyone turned to the woman who spoke. “Did you not hear her asking for us to spare him?” Silver put her hands on the stone ledge and peeked down at you and Pom. “When their memories return, she must make a decision. That will be their ultimate punishment.”

Silver sighed. “The day they separate, huh?”

When you and Pom look at each other, he takes your hand. “Do you know why I stayed with you until the end?” Then, a little smile. “I’ve never met someone as interesting as you. You fascinated me in a lot of ways.”

You look away with a sad, little smile. “Are you sure it wasn’t because you were scared I’d kill you?”

“Weeelll, there's that too. But, I mean… I would have nowhere to go.” You slowly look back at Pom. “Don’t know when it started or how it happened, but you were like my second home.”

“Gosh, I guess that old shack in the woods is still more important than me.”

Pom smiles wistfully, but you can’t return it. Instead, you look down. You’ve never imagined your life without Pom. The two of you go together like bread and butter. As if knowing what you’re thinking, Pom shimmies closer to you.

“Good things can’t last forever.”

You glance at him and chuckle. “You’re right, Pom. You’re too good for this world.”

Pom looks at Lan. “You can count on Uncle Lan to take good care of me.”

“Uncle Lan?” The god raises a brow.

“Why is Uncle Lan here, anyway?” you ask. “Or… Were you eavesdropping?”

Lan rolls his eyes. “On the contrary.” He looks at you with a grim expression. “I just came from Luocha’s place. You really don’t have much time left.”

◆◆◆

You haven’t got a wink of sleep as your mind is restless from everything that’s happening. Living a life with Young was what you always wanted, so shouldn’t you be jumping at the opportunity to go with him? Sure, you might not be alive, but your souls will finally be together in peace. You flip to the other side. So, why are you so unsure?

When you close your eyes, you see Dan Heng, and your memories with him start playing like a movie inside your mind. His drunken hug when he took you out for drinks. The festival. The aquarium date. His warmth and comfort. Before you know it, you’re smiling and your consciousness starts to drift until you hear your phone buzz. You reach for it on the nightstand, and upon seeing the name on the screen, you quickly sit up.

“...It’s me.”

It takes you a moment, but then you say, “...Dan Heng?”

“Can we talk?”

It doesn’t take you long to meet Dan Heng outside of the apartment in a small park. As soon as you see him, you walk up to him just as he turns around and gives you that little smile you love so much.

“...How are you here?” you ask. “What about Young?”

“We talked.”

Your eyes widen slightly. “You… You talked to him?”

“It was an interesting experience, to say the least.” Then, he looks you in the eyes. “I know everything that happened, and… I wanted a chance to talk to you.” Dan Heng puts a hand on your cheek. “I want you to come back.” You put your hand on top of his. “...If you tell me you’re going to come back, I’ll wait for you.” A small pause. “But, whatever decision you make, I want it to be yours. Not mine. Not Young’s.”

In a fraction of a second, your lips find his. Dan Heng’s hand burrows into your hair. Your hand finds his chest as the hot and demanding heat pulls you two closer together. Then, when it ends, and you look into his eyes, you’re left wanting more. You don’t want to let him go. You can’t let him go. And that’s when you’re absolutely sure.

“...I’ll come back.” He puts his forehead to yours. Then, with tears in your eyes, you say, “...I promise I’ll come back.”

Little do you know, Young is standing a little ways away from you and Dan Heng.

“You don’t look angry.”

Young doesn’t turn but glances at Pom who’s suddenly beside him. “Should I be?”

“She chose Dan Heng, didn’t she?” Pom nudges Young. “Or, are you convincing yourself that it’s just you in the present?”

Young closes his eyes for a moment. “As long as she gets the happiness she deserves.” Then, he turns to Pom. “And so do you, Pom.”

Pom puts his hands around his head. “Honestly… It’s hard to imagine my life without her.” Then, he slightly smiles. “But, hey, I survived without you, didn’t I?”

“We’ll meet again.”

Pom grins. “Just try to give me a heads-up next time, ‘kay? No more appearing in other people's bodies. You'll scare me to death."

Young scoffs with a little smile. “Right. I’ll try.”

“...Were you two just going to keep standing there?” Pom and Young turn and see you and Dan Heng.

“Oh, well, we couldn’t interrupt your little moment, could we?” Pom says.

Young walks up to you. “...You’ve decided.”

You look him in the eyes and give a firm nod. “...I’ve decided.”

Young leans in and gives your head a quick kiss. “Then, I have nothing else to say.”

“Well, I do.” You frown when you hear the voice. When you turn around, you see Sampo casually tossing a coin in the air. “It’s time to say your final goodbyes.”

Chapter 28

End notes:

If everything goes according to plan, the next chapter will be the last.

A reader asked me if the spear Cupid used at the beginning of the chapter was The Cloud-Piercer, and I was mindblown by the idea lolol so I got permission to use it :3

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