#and then she asks me to list my migraine days over the past month and then I watch her face fall

[ordinarytalk]

Okay so my migraines are fending off preventative medications like Superman slapping rockets outta the sky so now I'm going to start this monthly injectable thing.

I gotta like...learn how to give myself shots and get a sharps container now. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. Okay.

[blossomwritesthings]

Hyunjin sickfic when. *folds arms waiting patiently* 🤭

I love your writing sm I’m gonna cry

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader (afab)

genre: sick!fic. idol!hyunjin. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. reader pov. established relationship.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. hospital visit. this one's got angst in it. reader is sick (with a sprained ankle). hyunjin is worried af, as he should be lmao. reader has low self-esteem w/her dancing abilities, and has difficulty opening up about how she truly feels. pet names (affectionately). toothe-rotting fluff.

word count: 6.3k (yikes got carried away with this one wtf)

summary: it's been proving to be very difficult to keep the dance class that you take three times a week a secret from your boyfriend hyunjin. and the lies only become even harder to tell when you suddenly hurt your foot during class one night.

a/n: originally, i was planning on posting this yesterday as a kind of valentine's day gift for you guys, but then uni homework raw-dogged me like a total bitch and i got fucked over with a horrible migraine later in the night... i love my life!!! 😊 anyways, this was really fun to write- i FUCKING ADORE SOFT HYUNJIN!!! 😭 thanks for requesting, @hyungenie5... i hope this little piece of writing is to your liking, and thanks for your support~ 🤍

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). © ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The dance class was supposed to remain a secret. No one - not even your boyfriend Hyunjin - was supposed to know that you were taking it until it was long over in the summer. By the end of the class, you hoped that your skills would improve immensely and that you’d be able to join your boyfriend in the studio some time to dance with him. 

 But unfortunately, those grand plans all came to a halt late one Friday night. 

 When you were practicing a certain twirl that had been giving you a hard time for the past week. For some reason, one of the laces of your sneakers had come undone. And this prompted you to trip over it when you suddenly came out of the spin. 

 You landed on the ground in a heap of limbs, clenching down hard on your jaw at the feel of a sharp pain shooting through your left ankle. The ache was agonizing, and it took everything in you to not scream out in anguish at the feeling that had quickly exploded inside your ankle. 

 Soon, your classmates rushed over and helped you off of the floor and onto a nearby bench, where your teacher took a look at your foot.

 “It doesn’t look too bad, it’s just a bit swollen from the impact,” she said, peering up at you, a sheen of sweat glistening across her exposed forehead. It was sweltering in the practice room at the gym where you were taking the lessons, and everyone crowding around you was out of breath from the routine that the class had been practicing tirelessly for the last month or so. “I’d advise you to keep off of it as much as you can for the next few days and ice it every night. Don’t come into class Monday and instead give it a rest, and it should be better by the next session on Wednesday.” Your teacher instructed you, before giving your knee a gentle squeeze and going back to a group of students who needed her advice on a certain move. You had class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday late in the night, but surprisingly, the sessions were always packed with wannabe dancers, even late into the night. It just proved how many people desperately wanted to become better dancers. And you were one of those ‘people.’ 

 “Can you make it to your car alone?” One of your classmates asked. You looked up at Yejun, offering her a smile that quickly turned into a grimace of pain. You had met her soon after you started the class, and the two of you had grown closer over the past few months. 

 But no one knew who you were dating - who your boyfriend of three years was. They couldn’t know, otherwise, that would jeopardize everything Hyunjin did for work and your entire livelihood. So, you mostly stayed silent about the intimate details of your personal life with everyone else and opted to talk about the surface-level things in your life.

 “Yeah, I don’t think I can do it,” you laughed in a humorless kind of way. Without another word, Yejun was picking up the large duffle bag that you always brought with you to practice. Then, she was slipping an arm around your waist and leading you out of class and through the spacious gym. It was still relatively busy even for it being so late in the night on a Friday.

 “You promise that you’re gonna rest?” She rose a black, perfectly-manicured eyebrow your way as you shuffled out of the main doors of the gym. 

 And even though you had only known her for a few months, she could get a pretty good read on you. How you didn’t like asking people for help and how you tended to bottle things up all of the time. You had done such a thing since you were a very little girl, and you supposed there was no changing the way your mind was built. Even still, this aspect of your personality drove Hyunjin insane. He’d pry and pry and pry for you to tell him what was truly wrong with you, and it’d take more than just a few kisses and gentle words to finally get you to talk. It didn’t matter who you were with - who you were talking to - you just… couldn’t talk about really personal stuff most of the time. 

 “Yeah, yeah- I’ll rest all this weekend.” You rolled your eyes at Yejun as you stopped just in front of your car. You pulled out your keys, unlocking the doors before throwing your duffle bag into the backseat. 

 “Okay, well… drive safe and take it easy, yeah?” She mumbled, pulling you into a gentle hug, and you gave her a quick pat on the back before pulling away. “See you on Wednesday?” 

 You flashed her a playful wink, “Sure thing!” You waved her off as you slipped into the driver’s seat of your car. Your friend returned the gesture before she turned around and jogged back into the gym. 

 As soon as she was out of sight, you let out the moan of misery that you had been holding in for the last few minutes. The pain seemed to shoot through your ankle in quick increments, traveling up the length of your leg and pooling in your knee. 

 Holding onto the steering wheel with a death-like grip, you took a few deep breaths. The ache wouldn’t be this bad forever. You just needed to ice it. Just follow what your teacher told you to do, and you’ll be fine. You said all of these things and more to yourself inside your head as you turned your key in the car's socket and the car’s ignition roared to light. 

 Just get home and get in bed, and then everything will be alright. 

 But everything was not alright. 

 This was made so apparent when you stood in front of your apartment door and the remembrance dawned on you that Hyunjin had the entire weekend off. So that meant that he would be home earlier than he usually would be on a Friday night. And since it was a quarter-past-eleven at night, he was sure to be home.

 Fuck. 

 It had already been an entire production getting out of your car and into your apartment’s elevator, what with your limping form and all. But now you had to face your very own boyfriend, who wasn’t even aware that you were taking a dance class in the first place. You wanted it to be a surprise for him. You had always been self-conscious about your dance skills ever since you were a little girl. 

  And then you went ahead and started dating one of the best dancers in all of the Kpop industry. As a consequence, your self-esteem in the dancing department tanked astonishingly low. You’d regularly join Hyunjin in the studio late at night at the company, and sometimes he’d try to teach you some of Stray Kids choreo. But most of the time, you made a complete fool of yourself, and instead opted to just watch him from the sidelines. Watch in silence, offering praise when you could, about how perfect his angles were, how amazing his technique was, and how his flow and rhythm were impeccable with the music. 

 Meanwhile, deep inside your mind, you were playing the same thought over and over again; why can’t you just be a better dancer like him? Why can you just not suck at it, for once in your damn life? He probably thinks your horrible, and he’s right… no wonder why he stopped offering you teach you. 

 But in the new year, finally feeling fed up from always feeling shitty when your boyfriend would show you a video of his dance practices, or when you’d watch him in the studio, you decided to sign up for the beginner's contemporary dance class at your local gym. 

 It was daunting, at first, to go by yourself without knowing anyone there, but soon, you got used to the feeling and genuinely started to enjoy your time spend in the studio. It was hard work, that was for sure, but you liked the idea of finally finishing it in the early spring and then surprising your amazingly-talented dancer boyfriend with the choreo that you had learned and practiced tirelessly for the past few months, unbeknownst to him. 

 To keep the class a secret from Hyunjin, you had lied and told him that you were going to the local gym and lifting weights. And it wasn’t a complete lie, because technically, you were at the gym. You just weren’t lifting any weights. 

 Nevertheless, Hyunjin had been hesitant about the idea. Especially since you would be coming and going so late at night. At first, he had protested against it because of how many creeps could be hanging around the gym that late at night. He didn’t want you willingly putting yourself in any danger from being out so late alone. But, after much negotiation and pleading on your part, you had managed to convince him to be okay with it. And then, you were off… attending the class three times a week and absorbing the lessons like a little ocean sponge out in deep sea waters. 

 You gathered up all of the courage you still had inside of you as you shuffled across the apartment’s threshold. A couple of the lights were left on in the living room, and dim classical music was filtering out through the nearby room to the right of you. Hyunjin’s art studio. The two of you had chosen this specific apartment to rent out because it offered two bedrooms, and the space that he wanted to make his office had an amazing, large bay window that showcased a huge portion of Seoul's cityscape. The view in there was breathtaking and was the key inspiration for a lot of his recent art pieces. 

 A sigh of relief fled from your lips as you dropped your duffle bag down on the nearby dining room table and made to get some ice for your foot. Your entire body was sticky from your dried sweat, and you longed to hop into the shower for a nice cool-off. Just as soon as you ice your ankle. 

 Just as you were filling up a small plastic bag of ice, you heard a door open behind you. Then, in a few beats, you felt two long arms wrap around your waist from behind. If you weren’t in so much pain at that moment, you would’ve been happy to feel Hyunjin’s presence at your back. But mostly, you just felt exhausted and irritable. And these were two things that didn’t mix well together.

 “Welcome home, sweetheart,” he muttered, as he leaned down with his tall frame to pepper gentle kisses against your shoulder. “How was your workout?” 

 “Fine, I guess.” You said in a slightly-dismissive tone, as you finished filling up your baggie with ice. 

 “And why in the world are you filling up a plastic bag with ice?”

 Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach at his question. Because in your state of discomfort and exhaustion, you hadn’t thought out the lie that you would have to tell him for why you could barely fucking walk. And you definitely couldn’t tell him to the extent that the pain was at. But there was no getting around the fact that you had hurt yourself, so better to tell a small white lie than ignore it entirely. 

 “I, uh- kinda hurt my foot when I was working out with weights tonight, but I’m okay.” You said, trying to keep your voice light and airy. 

 Immediately as the words fell from your lips, Hyunjin was turning you around. His eyes raked over your face, assessing your neutral expression before flitting down to the rest of your body. Like he’d be able to see any other injuries you hadn’t told him about if he looked hard enough. 

 “Are you sure you’re okay?” His brows were furrowed in worry, the concern blatantly shining in his dark brown eyes. His fingers brushed across your cheek, before tucking a few stray, sweaty strands of your hair behind your ear. 

 You gave him a soft smile, leaning up to ruffle his fluffy, peachy-pink hair a little bit. “Yes babe, I’m fine.” 

 “Then, you should rest and use the ice pack.” 

 You gave him a sardonic grin, “That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped my plans and started to grill me with questions.” 

 He slipped his arms from your hips and reluctantly stepped away from your frame to allow you space to continue your routine. But not before he leaned down into you with his towering form and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips. And if your foot didn’t currently hurt like a bitch, you probably would’ve melted into his embrace and let him hold and kiss you for a long time after that. Instead, you just felt like a sweaty ball of painful shit and wanted to hop into bed as soon as possible. 

 “I’ll be in my office if you need anything…” Hyunjin’s delicate voice stayed with you in the kitchen, as he trekked back to the door to his office. 

 You quickly grabbed a kitchen dish towel to use to wrap around your bag of ice. “Alright. I’m going to take a quick shower and then head to bed.” 

 “I’ll be there in a little while,” your boyfriend said, and when you looked up at him, he was giving you this sweet, pure look of devotion. But it was also mixed with a tad bit of unease. He never did like the idea of you being injured in any way. “Try to get some rest, yeah?” 

 “Sure, baby,” you flashed him a wink, “but only if you come to bed relatively early tonight.” It seemed like he was always slipping into bed late these days… curling up behind you well past three in the morning. He proclaimed that it was only because inspiration struck him the strongest late into the night, and while you weren’t one to stand between an artist and their craft, there had to be a better solution for inspiration than ruining his entire sleep schedule.

 “I'll sure try, sweetheart.” Hyunjin’s soft voice followed behind you, as you made your way to your shared bedroom. 

 At least you weren’t the only one who told lies in the relationship. 

 The next day, your foot hurt like a literal bitch all day long. The pain wasn’t too bad after you first woke up, and upon icing it for a little while, it felt somewhat better. But then you went about the apartment doing the chores that you usually did every Saturday, and the discomfort returned tenfold. 

 At one point, it was so bad that when you sat down on the living room couch for a few minutes to give it a rest, you could barely get up again. And when you untucked your sock after lunch, you noticed how your left foot was looking a little… discolored. Some parts of your ankle were grayed, and a tiny bit of swelling was present too. But you had hurt it in dance, so that was to be expected. 

 You tried to hide the agony that you were in from your boyfriend, but being the perceptive man that he was, he automatically picked up on it. After all, he had become attuned over the years to understanding when you were feeling shitty since it took you so long to admit to him how you were feeling. Throughout the day, he’d ask you if you were okay and force you to sit down for a few minutes to ice the hurting foot. 

 But it was after dinner that he finally decided to put his foot down about the whole thing. He had dragged you over to the living room couch, practically throwing you onto the plush cushions before plopping down beside you. 

 “And what gives you the right to think you can throw me around like your own personal rag doll?” You asked, playfulness dripping from your tone. You turned to him and rose a quizzical eyebrow his way as he turned on the tv and flipped through Netflix to find a movie to watch. The usual thing that you two liked to do every Saturday night; was curl up on the couch and get all cozy with each other. The movie nights either ended in one of two ways, cuddling until you both fell asleep right then and there, or making out and soon traveling into the bedroom for a long night of fun. 

 “I’m forcing you to take a break, that’s what I’m doing,” he leveled you with a serious face, a slight frown pulling his mouth downwards. 

 You folded your arms across your chest defensively, “I don’t need a break, babe. I’m fine.” 

 “Oh yeah? Well then, I guess I’ve just been imagining all of the pained faces that you’ve been making all day, or that perpetual furrow in your brow that you always get when you’re holding something in?” Hyunjin said, voice completely flat. Just then he reached out to you, wrapping a long arm around your waist and yanking you close to his side before tucking a fuzzy blanket around the two of you. 

 “I’m not furrowing my brows.” You said defensively, even though you had given up on fighting him any longer. Honestly, you were a little too tired from all of the hurt and activity of the day to care. So you snuggled deeper against him, slinging your arms around his waist and breathing in his scent of fresh linen and sweet roses. “And besides, the apartment needed cleaning. A bad foot wasn’t going to stop me from completing my mission.” You had taken some pain medication soon after lunch, but since it was late into the night, it had worn off. You’d have to take some before you went to bed, but it didn’t seem to help that much, since you had still been in pain even after taking it in the middle of the day.

 “Just shut up and relax, will ya?” Your boyfriend all but grumbled, as he finally selected some random thriller to watch. You hid your smile behind your blanket as you felt him lean down and press a few kisses atop the crown of your head. “Just want you to feel better, my love…” 

 You turned your head up on his shoulder so that you were staring right into his expressive dark-brown eyes. “And I already do feel better just with your kisses alone.” A smirk spread across your mouth, as you leaned into him and your mouths met again in a soft kiss. 

 Your boyfriend motioned with his head to the flashing tv screen in front of the two of you, “Now, let’s focus on the movie so that you can get your mind off of the discomfort.” 

 A few giggles escaped from deep inside of you at his serious tone. He truly did care a lot about you and your well-being. And so that’s why you didn’t want to tell him how bad the pain was. Because you knew that as soon as you told him, he’d get himself all worked up into a tizzy and obsess over your health until you were back to one-hundred-and-twenty percent. Would practically nurse you back to health, ignoring all of his other duties at the company until he could confirm with his own two eyes that his girlfriend was feeling much better than before. 

 So you stayed silent, refraining from revealing to him how much agony you truly were in from your foot alone. You turned your attention to the movie in front of you. 

 And the feel of his long, muscular arms wrapped around your waist and squeezing slightly, the comforting sense of his warm body just beside yours, did wonders to the pain. It worked better than any of the medicine in the entire world, and you soon found yourself completely ignoring and forgetting the ache that was shooting through your foot and up into your veins and instead was basking in the feel and smell of your very loving boyfriend. 

 “Sweetheart, do you want to stop and take a rest for a minute?” Hyunjin asked you in a gentle voice the next day. What with it being Sunday and since the two of you were still off from work, you had decided to spend the day out on the town - shopping around. 

 You two had already eaten a sweet breakfast of pastries and coffee at a local cafe and were currently walking the streets of Hongdae, in search of a matching set of hoodies that fit both of your styles perfectly. So far, you had had no luck at the boutiques that you had already searched. The fuzzy hoodies were either too frilly or too plain...

 You shook your head vehemently, “No, I’m fine… don’t worry about me.” But you knew you telling him that would only make him worry even more. Since your foot only hurt even worse when you woke up early that morning. The pain throbbed up your leg now, and it felt like somehow was grasping harshly at your left ankle bone every time you walked on it, rattling the thing bitterly. 

 You were practically limping pathetically at your boyfriend's side, desperate hands clutching at his arm to stop you from completely toppling over into a pile of weak limbs right there. Because that’s what you were feeling at that exact moment; weak. 

 Hyunjin ran a frustrated hand through his peachy-pink locks, an exasperated sigh flooding from his lips, “I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to us going out today-” He started to grumble beside you. 

 Just then, the two of you stepped over a particular area of sidewalk that was somewhat cracked in the middle. And of course, your left shoe - your bad foot - just had to get caught in the tiny space there. Immediately, your body hurled to the ground as you grasped for your boyfriend. Thankfully, he caught you just in time before you hit the asphalt, pulling you up onto your feet again. 

 And when you stood straight once more, the agony only intensified even more so. Feeling so overwhelmed by it, and so, so weary with sudden despair, a tiny cry escaped past your lips as your legs gave out from underneath you. Toppling onto the ground in a heap of exhaustion, the tears were freely flowing down your cheeks. 

 Hyunjin was already crouching at your side, one arm wrapped around your waist. “Darling, what’s wrong-” He began, the worry seeping from his tone. 

 “It’s hurts, Hyunjin… like, a lot…” You managed to get out in between your sobs. Your vision was blurry from your tears, cheeks warm to the touch at the embarrassment of feeling others' eyes on you as they passed by on the street. 

 But not another word needed to be spoken, as you were soon being lifted into your boyfriend’s arms. And a moment later, he was gently placing you down on a nearby bench. 

 He was then crouching in front of your feet, gently grasping at your left foot and holding it out to him slowly. “Can I take a look at it, sweetheart?” He asked you with all of the tenderness in the world. The look in his eyes then- one of pure apprehension and heartache did something funny to your heart and only made you cry even harder. You nodded your head in silent approval. 

 Heart beating wildly inside your chest, you waited, and watched in bated since, as your boyfriend gingerly slipped off your thin sneaker. With thin, nimble fingers, he slid your baby-blue sock down and off of your foot. 

 And the moment he saw what lay underneath, he gasped audibly. Your foot was steadily turning purple and blue and was swollen all around the ankle. Eyes completely focused on your foot, Hyunjin turned your foot from either side, inspecting it diligently. 

 Finally, after what felt like an eternity of looking at it, he stared up at you with wide eyes. The heartbreaking look in them told you all you needed to know- the way that his lips slightly fell open in his surprise, jaw clenching in anger. “B-Baby, has it looked like this since you got home from the gym on Friday?” His fingers gently swept over the bone that was slightly protruding out to the side near your ankle. 

 The tears had begun to slow down, leaving wet trails down either of your heated cheeks. Sniffling, you meekly nodded your head yes in answer. “Why? Is it that bad?” 

 A deep crease formed between his dark brows, and his blush-pink hair blew in the cool February breeze that suddenly swept across the streets at that moment. “Sweetheart, this looks really- really bad,” his eyes flitted down to your foot again, which he was still holding in one of his palms. “I’ve seen a lot of injuries, and I know the signs… honey, I think you’ve sprained it.” 

 Your heart plummeted into the pit of your stomach. “W-What? But… how could that be? It’s not like I-” Your voice took on an incredulous tone, but before you could say anything else, your boyfriend was moving your foot again, turning it slightly so that he could slip your sock back on. You hissed in discomfort, biting down hard on your bottom lip to quell the moan that wanted to bubble up and out of you just then. The pain was unbearable. 

 Your boyfriend stood up from the ground, fitting two hands around your waist and helping you rise from the bench. He slipped an arm around your hips, securing you to his side as you slowly began to shuffle down the street, going backward from the way you had just come from. “C’mon, we gotta get you to the hospital.” He said, leading you two away from the shops that you had been at for the last few hours. 

 “Hospital? No- that’s not necessary, I just need to… rest at home, that’s all…” Your voice trailed off as another wave of pain throbbed through your tender foot. 

 Hyunjin leveled you with a glare. “It’s either you come with me willingly, or I carry you in my arms bridal style. Either way, you’re fucking going to the hospital.” The way he said the last of his words in that deathly-low tone sent a chill down your spine. Because you knew it all too well since he’d only use it on you when you were being particularly stubborn. And almost always, it was during a time when you weren’t taking any regard for your health, and Hyunjin had to force you to do the things necessary to practically stay alive. 

 “O-Okay…” You whispered. You struggled along beside him, fingers holding on tight to his thick brown winter jacket. “Just… don’t let go?” You stared up at him with big eyes, lip quivering a little bit from the pain of having to walk and put pressure on your bruised foot. 

 “Never, sweetheart.” He brought you closer to him then, practically wrapping both arms around your waist and helping you along the sidewalk as you slowly made your way back to his car. 

 “Well, you have a sprained ankle,” the nurse told you a few hours later. She was a rather short, petite-looking woman, with long, black hair swept up into a tight braid at the back of her head. “You’ll need to diligently rest for the next… four to six weeks. The doctor suggested using an ice pack for twenty minutes a few times a day, to help with the swelling.” 

 After you and Hyunjin had left Hongdae, it was only a matter of time before he found the nearest hospital and checked you into the Emergency Room there. After waiting for a little over an hour, you were finally called back into one of the exam rooms. It merely took the nurse and doctor one look at your ankle to confirm that it was sprained. After the doctor’s assessment, the nurse filed back into the room to hand you some paperwork to fill out. 

 During the entire visit, Hyunjin was sitting beside your hospital bed in a small chair, clutching onto your hand as you awaited the news of your diagnosis. He let out a sigh of relief at the news of it only being a sprain since he had been worrying that it was broken instead. 

 “And don’t walk on it,” the nurse continued, as she handed you a bottle of prescribed high-dosage pain medications. “I understand that it will be difficult to assimilate to a less active lifestyle for some time, but please remember that if you walk on it, doing so can put you at risk for horrible complications in the future and hinder you from achieving a full recovery.” 

 “I understand, thank you so much,” you said, giving her a soft smile as you fit the bottle of pain meds into your nearby purse. Your boyfriend was still clutching onto your hand, fingers squeezing a little too tightly as you positioned yourself back on the bed. 

 "I’ll give you two a few minutes, and then come back to assist you in checking out at the front desk.” The nurse returned your smile and bowed slightly at you and Hyunjin before making her way out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. 

 Immediately, your boyfriend turned to you with a deep frown. “And you’ve been walking on a sprained ankle for the past… three days.” He shook his head in disapproval, running a frantic hand through your hair. “Honestly, Y/N, I don’t understand why you do this to yourself- why you do it to me…” 

 Training your focus down at your lap, your fingers absently played with a loose strand from your thick winter sweater. “It’s not like I mean to not tell you stuff. It just… happens.” 

 “And you said you got this from lifting weights at the gym?” 

 His question forced your head to shoot up without you even thinking about it, eyes locking with his as he sat just beside you in his tiny vinyl chair. “Y-Yeah… I must’ve used the barbell wrong or something.” You laughed a little anxiously, heart beating painfully against your ribcage. 

 Because he couldn’t find out. It was downright embarrassing to think about him knowing you had been taking dance classes. But you also wanted to keep it a surprise for him, when you eventually performed your routine for him - not like that would happen anytime soon though, since you would be on bed rest for the foreseeable future. 

 Hyunjin brought his hand away from yours then, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly, crossing his legs together and giving you a knowing look. “I call bullshit. You don’t get a strained ankle from lifting a few pounds.” 

 “And how do you know that, mister?” 

 “Because I’ve seen the guys get injured from lifting before, but it never has to do with their ankles.” 

 “Well, maybe I’m the exception.” 

 “Cut the crap, sweetheart,” his voice came out a little cold just then, eyes raking over your form, studying your face to gauge your emotions at that moment. “Tell me what happened on Friday night.” 

 The embarrassment overtook you again, and you ripped your eyes from his. Focusing once more on your hands, you twisted the end of your sweater around your fingers. There wasn’t any use in keeping the ruse up any longer. It’s not like you’d be dancing the routine any time soon. So, you finally gave in and confessed to your boyfriend in a quiet mumble. 

 He leaned forward, tilting his body close to yours so that he could hear you better. “I didn’t hear that, love. Speak up.” 

 Clenching your fists in sudden annoyance, you stared at him, already feeling the crimson pooling in your cheeks. “I said- I was taking a dance class, okay?! And I fell and hurt my ankle- the instructor said it would be fine, but obviously, she isn’t a doctor…” 

 Silence filled the entire room after that, and it was charged with equal amounts of confusion and hurt. “Why in the world are you taking a dance class?” 

 “Because- I want to be good at dancing…” You exclaimed, staring into Hyunjin's eyes with what you hoped was a fierce expression. “I fucking suck at it- and- and you’re just so amazing, and I… I wanted to surprise you with a routine that I had learned all on my own. But then, I hurt myself, so that’s never gonna happen now.” 

 “Don’t say that.” 

 “Say what?” You canted your head to the side, watching as the emotions erupted across your boyfriend's face. First, it was anger, that you had kept such a secret from him for so long, then it was sadness, that you had felt the need to prove yourself in any way to him. 

 “Say that you suck at dancing,” he began, as he moved forward and clasped either of your hands in his. He brought them close to his mouth, lips hovering near your skin and pressing a few soft kisses to your knuckles. “You’re great at it, baby, don’t doubt yourself. And I was never amazing right off the bat. It took me a long time and lots of hard work to get where I am today.”

 “Yeah, but some people are just naturally born with it, and I don’t think I am. So… that’s why I was trying to improve.” You shrugged slowly, a zap of energy coursing through your veins each time Hyunjin pressed a fervent kiss against your hands. 

 “Well, I always think that improvement is good. But, there has to be a balance. You can’t simply ignore your health just because you want to get better at something.” Your boyfriend said in a calm voice, the warmth of it vibrating on your flesh and softening some hard part inside of you. “And besides, even if you weren’t born with the gift of dance - which I don’t believe to be true - there are still other gifts that you have that are unique and wonderful to you, baby. You shouldn’t compare yourself to me, or anyone else, for that matter.” 

 You gave him a frown, eyes locked on his mouth that kept nearing your knuckles and pressing kisses there. “I know, but… it’s just hard sometimes, you know? To be dating such a… talented man.” 

 A tiny sound of pain - of heartbreak - fled from Hyunjin’s mouth then, and suddenly, he was pulling you towards him. Fitting his arms around your waist, he squeezed on tight. In an instant, you melted into the touch, burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck and inhaling his calming, sweet scent. 

 “I’m so sorry that you’ve felt like this, sweetheart. I had no idea.” He mumbled close to your ear, imprinting a soft kiss against the exposed skin there. “How can I make it up to you, darling? How can I change things, so that you don’t think so poorly of yourself anymore?” 

 You positioned yourself away from him a tiny bit, offering him a light smile, “Babe, you don’t have to do anything for me. My low self-esteem when it comes to dancing isn’t your fault, so don’t worry about it.” 

 He leaned in, kissing your lips gently. “Yes, but I don’t like the thought of you feeling so down about your abilities…” his voice trailed off into silence, as he contemplated what he could do for you. “I know- I’m going to nurse you back to health, and when your ankle is completely healed, I’ll help you continue learning that dance routine from your class. How does that sound, love?” 

 You kissed him back, hot breaths mingling slightly in the passion of the moment. “I’d like that very much, but… don’t you have your schedules?” 

 Hyunjin waved a nonchalant hand in the air like he didn’t have so many people expecting high standards from him every single day. “I can still help you and do my job, baby- it isn’t rocket science.” 

 You contemplated his idea over in your head. You hadn’t liked him trying to teach you different dances in the past, but perhaps that was because of your issues and not because of his teaching. And now that your struggles with the thing were out in the open, you got the feeling that your boyfriend would be extra careful when teaching you - treat you extra gently when explaining certain moves. 

 “Okay, I like the idea,” you decided, nodding your head slowly in approval. A wide smile cracked across your lips as you stared at his face that was alight with happiness and contentment, “When do we start?” 

 “How does eight weeks from now sound? To give your ankle plenty of time to heal.” 

 Gently carding a few fingers through his light, peachy-pink silky locks, you bent into him, the smile still plastered onto your face as you gave his mouth another kiss which felt like the hundredth one in the last hour. “Sounds perfect.” You said, and soon he was smirking against your lips, before tightening his grip around your hips, yanking you ever closer to his form, and smashing his mouth against yours in a fiery, loving kiss. 

 Fin. 

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© ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

[frances-baby-houseman]

Dear Prudence,

Three years ago, my best friend and I had a falling out. When she asked for my opinion on her new fiancé and their relationship, I expressed some concern as gently as I could. I said it was concerning to me that they had only known each other for three months, that I was her best friend and had never met him (he had no interest in meeting her friends), and that the only times she had spoken to me about him before announcing the engagement were to talk through fights they had where he took rather nasty stances against totally normal things (her having any other men’s phone numbers saved in her phone, etc). She told me that I had never supported any of her relationships, this one was much better than previous ones, and I obviously didn’t actually care for her. I told her that wasn’t true and it was actually that I loved her so much that I was willing to tell her things I could see that she didn’t want to hear.

About a week after that fight, she called me in the middle of the night from the bathroom of a party, and told me that she’s concerned about how often she’s been using different drugs since starting the relationship (I wasn’t aware of this; previously she had occasionally smoked pot and that was it). I found out where she was, picked her up and brought her back to my house. In the morning, she was already gone when I woke up. I tried to call or text her every day for two weeks after that, leaving her messages that I loved her and was there for her and ready to help her when she wanted it. She never answered or acknowledged anything. She also disappeared off all social media. I went to her apartment at the end of the two weeks and there was a “for rent” sign in the window with all her belongings cleared out. She had said she and her fiancé had found a new place and were going to be moving in together, but I didn’t know where it was.

To complicate things, this was about one month before my wedding, where she was a bridesmaid. She dropped out of all wedding-related conversations as well and didn’t come to the bridal shower. The night before the wedding, she called and asked if it would be okay for her to come still. I told her of course! I didn’t push her to talk about anything she didn’t want to and just made sure to deliver the message that I love and support her while she was there. Immediately after the ceremony, my husband and I were outside taking some photos and heard shouting from the front entrance of the hotel.

It was her fiancé, who was telling her that they needed to leave. She waved goodbye and got in the car. I smiled and lied to anyone that asked about her during the reception and said she had gotten a terrible migraine and unfortunately was home in bed, then cried in the shower at the end of the night, knowing that she was truly gone from my life after calling each other sisters for years. I sent her one more text saying I would always be there if she ever needed anything and to please reach out when she was ready to. I never heard anything.

Last week, my mother sent me a picture of the police blotter in the newspaper for her town (about two hours away from where I live), and asked if that was my friend in the mugshot picture. It was listed along with her first name and the previous fiancé’s last name. She had gotten arrested for drunk driving with her 2-year-old son in the car. My heart broke all over again. Without hearing from her/about her, I’d been able to convince myself she had left the bad relationship, gone back to complete that master’s degree program she wanted to, and was happy and healthy. This tells a different story. I know I did what I could for her, and she didn’t want to hear what I was saying or accept my help, but I feel so guilty. How do I get past this?

—Friend Break-Up

Dear Break-Up,

Do you have time this week to just sit down and cry about your friend? Seriously, put it on the calendar. Dedicate an hour to thinking about how much you miss her, how much you hate that she’s suffering, and how you wish things could be different for you two. Really mourn the friendship you could have had if she’d made different choices. Think about how much it broke your heart for her to leave your wedding. Worry about her and her 2-year-old.

You and I both know that guilt doesn’t make sense here. You were patient and accommodating and did all you could for her. And maybe feeling guilty is keeping you from experiencing the more appropriate feeling for this situation: Grief. If you give yourself a chance to experience that—not just in this one-hour appointment with yourself, but over weeks and months—might take your focus away from wondering what you could have done that would have saved her. The answer to that is, of course, nothing.

for @formerly-ujb

[moon-megami]

New Neurologist

Today I had a very inconvenient auto-rescheduled neurologist follow up appointment. I've only seen the actual Neurologist once, but he didn't find anything 'wrong' with me other than "it's probably migranes", so I got shuffled off to one of his nurse practitioners. This time I got a new one since the old one was no longer there. If anything, the old NP was passionate and caring, which helped. But she was mostly making sure the headache that likes to shatter the base of my skull hasn't came back and that I'm using my CPAP. I've been using 500mg of Magnesium to keep that skull-shattering pain away, and it's working. No one is going to pry that supplement out of my cold dead hands.

She starts out with the broad question "How are you?". A loaded question for someone who has a thousand problems. How am I? For which part of me? I could only muster up that my POTS was acting up because I got a stomach bug last week and my body hasn't caught up. I could kinda tell she didn't really 'follow', not a great sign. I felt slightly dizzy when standing yesterday, I had to use the scooter at the store to get myself a birthday present. She looked at my BP and just said "It's normal". No shit shirlock.

She steers the conversation to my headaches. My regular GP gave me Topimax at the beginning of January to try, but I was really weary of the side effects. I had finally eluded to him the fact I was smelling and tasting cigarette smoke out my nose and it had gotten worse and worse since August (I experienced phantom smells for at least 7+ years), so he gave me a low dose of 25mg Topimax because it could be a migraine aura. Checks out I guess. I've always known I have painless headaches or at least non-conventional headaches. About a week ago I finally noticed the effects and the smell is mostly gone. But the brain fog is still there.

The brain fog. I've always had brain fog since I've been diagnosed with POTS and Dysautonomia 13 years ago. I was 22 when all my issues started. But recently, around August or so (along with the phantom smell), it has gotten so much worse. So much so, that I can barely do my job. I'm a web programmer, and I need my brain to work. I need to be able to write more than a few lines of code a day, and yet, lately, that's all I can muster. Following a few trains of thought has been hard for me the past few months. This is a different beast of brain fog. As I sit there pouring this out to my new NP, tears roll down my cheeks. She asks me if I'm "sure" it just didn't start happening with Topimax (because one of the side effects is cognitive decline and brain fog). I reiterated to her, no, definitely not. If only I could show her my git history, hah.

She says "Let's take a little test". She gets up and brings back a paper, saying it's a memory test or whatever. I thought to myself, ok, this is easy. I don't like being put on the spot but I put my best effort face on anyway. She gave me 5 words to remember at the start of the test. Easy. She put a timer on one minute and told me to list as many animals I can think of. Sure.

"Cat, fish, chicken, dog, ... bird ... lion .. giraffe ....... cat ....." before I knew it, the timer was going off and I was sitting there in a ball pulling my hair out practically. Ugh. Failed that one miserably. I've always been bad at pulling things out of my ass. Go ahead, ask me where anything is. I know exactly where it is, but don't get the word "dresser" out of me when I tell you "its on the thingy over there".

Next was a few math problems, took me longer to answer but I think i was still riled up from the last question. After that I had to repeat back numbers backwards in increasing length, easy.

Next, I had to put an X on the triangle. She hands me the paper. I go straight for the square and mark it and she's like "No... that's the square." FUCK. "oh.. uh.. oh yeah the triangle lol haha". She then tells me to draw the hands of the clock "ten til eleven". I re-read the sentence next to the clock to make sure I understood and drew the clock, perfect, yep.

Next she read me a short story at the bottom of a paper and I answer all the details she asked for after. At the end she asks me for the words at the begining of the test.

Oh yeah. Those.

2 of them I was certain of. Pen and Tie. 2 I wasn't sure but I tried to remember her gestures at the time, Ball and Shirt, surely. The other was a mystery.

She takes the paper and totals the score. She had a slight downturn in her smile as she looked at the answers and the score. She says to me "Perhaps we should refer you to a center for further evaluation.". I asked her what I scored, out of curiosity. She forced a smile and scooted her chair closer to me. I know a polite blow when I see one, and it was coming. "Well... I expected a little higher score for someone your age and education level". There is is. Boom.

I asked her what I scored and what I missed. She said I got a 20/30, which doesn't mean much to me. But apparently, I only remembered 2/5 words, and missed all the number backward questions except for the 2-digit one, she seemed to have forgiven me for the triangle mistake. I drew the clock wrong. WAIT. I DREW THE CLOCK WRONG? Damn, I'm really stupid. Yeah, I drew it as 11:55 and not 11:50. All I had to do was draw a straight line with 2 arrows. Ugh. At least I got all the details in the story right.

So she wrote up some labs I have to go get now, told me to stop taking Topimax, and wrote me a prescription for Qulipta, which, as you know, is a very expensive medication. CBC, TSH, Total T4, B1, B12, Folate, D 25 hydroxy. All will come back normal I'm sure, I've had most of them checked recently anyway. And that referral, which will probably also take months to hear back from. In the car, I was mad at myself and a little sad. What did the test mean for me? I have always had... difficulties in some departments. I know I had learning difficulties, but I've always conquered them. I have never let it define me or interfere with my successes.

As soon as I got home, I wrote my GP an email through my portal explaining that she wanted me to stop taking the Topimax and start Qulipta, and about my test result. I had mentioned the crippling brain fog to him on my last visit too.

He wrote back in the evening, I assume after all his patients for the day. The tone of his correspondence came off to me as slightly spiteful, and I don't know how I feel about it. I've been building up a great rapport with him for 4 years, trusting him with more and more of my symptoms as I went along, him listening to just about every one of them and offering is best knowledge.

"I only have experience with Topimax and not Qulipta, but it seems like they have convinced your insurance to cough up the money for the expensive drug by using your cognitive test to justify taking you off Topiramate."

So was I just... used? Was all that test for was to get a kickback for a drug? It didn't feel like it, surely she wouldn't have bothered with ordering all the labs and that referral for further testing to a completely unrelated center? Talk about knocking me down a few inches more, to how already diminished I was feeling earlier today after my appointment. I feel mad and betrayed, but did he really mean it the way I am taking it? Was he mad I went against his own recommendations?

Again my closest friend is no help, he tries to comfort saying he'd score the same as me. From my quick Google search, and I do mean quick, because I didn't want to scare myself, 'normal' educated people my age don't score that low, even if they try. I don't tell my husband because I don't want him to worry, he has anxiety and worries too much. I only tell him things I am certain about. I don't know what to do with myself but type what I feel here and cry.

I guess that's the point of a blog.

[sinderbishop]

Hi, my partner got a hysterectomy a little over a year ago, including her ovaries and cervix, and she wants me to say a few things.

She is on HRT. The only reason (I say “only” here, this will be funny later) she is taking estrogen is to prevent bone loss and heart disease. Her doctor suggested estrogen until she’s 50 at least, but she’s going to stay on it even past then for the aforementioned reasons and because hot flashes suck, and the less she takes, the worse those are. (See? More reasons already.)

She never has to get another fucking Pap smear, because the risk of uterine cancer, cervical cancer, and ovarian cancer is slightly diminished seeing as the sites of those cancers are all the way over there. If she goes off of HRT, she will have a slightly elevated risk of breast cancer, just like every other menopausal person, so add that to the list of reasons she’s sticking with that prescription.

But here’s the important part: she hasn’t had a migraine in over a year, which coincides with the surgery. And since she hasn’t had migraines, she knows how much time her migraines were taking from her. She got 16 days a month back that she hasn’t had access to since she started having a period. Because every period she had came with a lagniappe migraine. She figured this out the second or third time she had a period. Ever. So it wasn’t any kind of mystery.

She lost 30 pounds. No exercise change, no lifestyle adjustments, her metabolism just came back. Her joint pain went away. This is because she was pregnant once and her hormone factories never shut the relaxin production off after she wasn’t pregnant anymore. Relaxin - as the name implies - relaxes the joints in the body in preparation for passing a basketball sized object through the pelvic region. Her joints were in a constant state of pregnancy loosening for 18 years.

She has had days that register a zero on the pain scale. That hadn’t been a thing for her since the 90’s. Her hysterectomy was in 2023. Chronic pain that she had been dealing with for three decades, give or take a handful of years, and now it’s. Just. GONE.

This is all personal experience, anecdotal evidence and such, but here’s the thing: she’s been telling doctors that something was wrong since she was a teenager. She’s been trying to get a hysterectomy since she was diagnosed with preeclampsia and was told any pregnancy she had in the future would be fatal. That was in 2005. It took her almost 20 years to find a doctor who would listen and a surgeon who would take the case at the same time so that she could get rid of the thing that was causing all of the problems she had, that she knew was causing all the problems, and that she could prove was causing all the problems with her medical history, which was readily available to every doctor who saw her in that nearly two decade timespan, oh and also she would tell them about it every time she had an appointment.

And none of them listened until last year.

So yeah, the prospect of taking a pill every day for the rest of her life so that aaaaaaallll that could be rectified. As if that’s any kind of tradeoff. Fuck outta here.

Hysterectomies. At the mall. No questions asked.

I agree that we should be able to get hysterectomies if we so desire, but doing so can require one to go onto HRT for the remainder of their life. It’s not necessarily just impacting your ability to have kids. It is not a surgery one should just get, unless their uterus is actively causing medical problems. Same as most other surgeries.

I think they should give out free hysterectomies at the mall to anyone who wants them no questions asked

[survey--s]

422.

Have you had any beer this week? No, I don’t really drink much, and when I do, it’s not beer. Are you happy with life? Yeah, for the most part. Could you cry right now? I have no reason to cry right now, no. Are you a jealous person? Not really anymore, but I’ve definitely had issues with jealousy in the past. What were you doing this morning at 7am? Sleeping.

Where have you lived throughout your life? Various places in England, plus France for a year. Where was your default picture taken? On the beach. It’s an old one now, but Lisa took it - it’s of me and our beagles.

Is there anything silver near you? My laptop, all the jewellery I’m wearing (except my wedding ring), a Pepsi can and the animals’ water bowls. Do you wear contacts? No. I tried them but they didn’t really suit my eyes and I got horrendous migraines. I need to wear glasses everyday though. Song playing right now? I’m watching Lord of the Rings. Where were you last Friday night? That was yesterday. I was at home watching all the Christmas episodes of My Family, snuggling up with the dog and drinking Baileys, lol. Do you wear the seat belt in the car? Of course. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Sure.  Next vacation you’re going on? I have nowhere booked as of yet. What’s the closest blue object to you? A book. Do you like the color orange? Nope, not really. Sometimes, do you wish you were someone else? No. What is the weather like today? Cold, wet and windy. Was your last kiss sober? Yeah. Where will you be in a hour? Right here, pretty much. I have the second half of this film to watch, plus the third one, so that’s another few hours yet. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J? Yes, a few of my ex’s names began with a J. Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Mine. Have you held hands with anyone in the past week? Yeah. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? I don’t have any siblings to talk to. If we’re counting siblings-in-law, then maybe three weeks ago? Do you want any piercings? Not actively, but if someone took me a piercing parlour I’d probably get one lol. What is one hot beverage that you like? Coffee. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? Oh actually - one of my cousins is pregnant but she hasn’t announced it officially yet. Chapstick or lipgloss? Chapstick. Do you ever get a headache after you have just cried really hard? Yeah, I think that’s pretty normal. Who is the fifth person on your missed calls list? No idea, I delete all my calls fairly regularly. I hate my phone looking cluttered. Have you ever had sex at a beach? Is it all that great? Yes, and no, lol. Where do you live? Cumbria, England. How many grams of carbs, approximately, have you had today? Loaaaads, haha. Do you sleep in socks? No, they make my feet feel too restricted. What’s your mouse pad look like? I use a laptop so I just have a plain silver-coloured touchpad. Is the person you’re interested in, interested in you? He is indeed, which is presumably why he asked me to marry him! Do you find your job rewarding? Yes, I love my job. Of course there are bad days sometimes, especially when the rain is horizontal and the mud is up to my knees, but generally I love what I do and wouldn’t swap it for anything. What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? Coffee and Walnut. Have you watched TV today? I’ve been watching Lord of the Rings all day. Are you shorter than 5'5"? Nope. Do you smoke cigarettes? No. Is your birthday in a winter month? Yeah, my birthday is in December. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? I don’t have any siblings, but all my siblings-in-law are over forty. Mike is the youngest in his family by a long way. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Zero. I’m not a huge fan of bracelets. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? I don’t even own my yearbook anymore, so they’re not something I even think about to be honest. Do you know anyone who acts like a know-it-all? Yeah, my old boss was a bit like that. Is there a band you like that many others dislike? Which? I’m sure there is, but no band in particular is coming to mind right now. To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels? It depends on my mood and what I’ll be having on them. I love English muffins just toasted with butter, or as a breakfast sandwich, but bagels are good for other toppings like salmon and cream cheese, or I like the Cinnamon/raisin ones too. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Not school, but university, yeah. What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Coffee. I just made one a few questions ago. Your honest opinion: high school, best or worst years of your life? Worst. Do you actually care about the way you dress, or do you not give a fuck? I do care. Even though I work a messy job, I like looking decent and presentable - it makes me feel better about myself mentally. Be honest; name of the last person to text you? My mum - she wished me Happy Christmas Eve, lol. Do you currently have any hickeys? Nope.

[musical-shit-show]

could have danced all night

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Reader Inspiration: Prompts #2 (“apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”) #14 (“when i’m not with you, it’s almost like…i can’t breathe.”) and #41 (“i may or may not have left some…marks.”) Warnings: sexual references, kissing, meddling siblings, fluffy fluff Word Count: 3,733 Author’s Note: This is my first request! Big shout out to @acmbooksandfilm​ for sending this in, I had a lot of fun writing it. Also, apologies on it taking a bit to get out, writing has gotten difficult as my real adult job has slowly turned my brain to mush. But, if you would still like to send in a request, feel free! My DMs and Askbox is always open, even though it may take a little longer to complete requests. And as always, check out my Masterlist, About Me page, and Prompt Lists. Thanks for all the love on my other one shots and enjoy!

“Colin, enough,” Benedict huffed as he threw on his shiny black tailcoat, “Surely you have better things to do than pester me about my love life.” Anthony, Benedict, and Colin often crossed paths when getting ready for the numerous events of the season, and now the younger Bridgerton brother was doing everything to get on his elder sibling’s last nerve.

“I’m merely pointing out the obvious, Benedict,” Colin said smugly, straightening his cravat as he looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t help but flash a mischievous smile at his reflection, “Practically everyone in the ton knows about you two, what’s the harm in proposing?”

“What on God’s green earth are you two talking about?” Anthony strode into the room, closing the door in the likely event that Colin said something inappropriate and scandalized one of their younger sisters or, heaven forbid, their mother.

Benedict couldn’t help but flush. Yes, he was close enough with his brothers to discuss all matters surrounding women, but it felt wrong for him to talk about you. Especially when your relationship wasn’t meant to be any sort of relationship whatsoever.

It had started out innocently enough; you had been close with his younger sister Eloise and Penelope Featherington for years, acting as surrogate older sister on account of you being several years older than them. You were also friendly with Daphne and Simon Bassett, and often had tea with the pair when they weren’t off performing their duties as the Duke and Duchess of Hastings.

In truth, you knew Benedict the least out of the Bridgertons who had or were close to coming of age, and was shocked when he requested to have his name written on your dance card at the first ball of the season. When it came time to dance, you had expected Benedict to act shy at first; but after some coaxing from you, he won you over almost instantly with his wit and humor.

He only asked to dance with you once more at that particular event, not wanting to be improper. However, it was clear from the way the two of you looked at each other that there was a spark.

“No one,” Benedict said, almost too quickly, “Our brother is just sticking his nose into affairs that aren’t his own, as usual.” Anthony rolled his eyes, thoroughly unamused by his younger siblings’ bickering. The three of them strode down the stairs of their home and seized a carriage so that the conversation could continue in private.

“So…” Colin drawled, “It is an affair, then?”

“You know that’s not what I meant at all.”

“A slip of the tongue, perhaps? You know, brother, you must choose your words more carefully—"

“Mark my words, Colin Bridgerton; I will kill you in this very carriage if—”

“Will the two of you, please,” Anthony huffed, feeling a migraine coming on, “Benedict, is this about who I think it is about…?” Colin nodded fervently, but Benedict remained stone-faced. He hated keeping things from his family, especially his brothers. But he couldn’t risk tarnishing your name, not after what had transpired between you two.

It wasn’t meant to happen. When Benedict had snuck off one night to another one of Sir Granville’s soirées, he was shocked to see you there, wearing a tightly-laced corset, undergarments, and practically nothing else. As soon as you saw him, your eyes widened to the size of your mother’s best teacup saucers. Without thinking, you grabbed him and pulled him into the nearest empty room.

“Benedict, wha—what are you doing here?!” he remembered you asking him, utterly flustered. His eyes drifted to the sheer robe draped over your shoulders, the fabric floating gently with your every movement.

“I could very well ask you the same question!” he attempted to whisper, now distracted by how your corset pushed up your bosom considerably, “How do you even know about these, um, parties?” For a moment, you hesitated, unsure of what to say as Benedict’s pale blue eyes bore into yours.

You sighed, resigning to come clean, “Genevieve—Madame Delacroix—she told me about them. I confided in her about my father’s money troubles,” you felt the tears start to well up, but could not bear to cry in front of Benedict in the state you found yourself in, “I barely have any money for a dowry to find a suitable husband, and Genevieve and Sir Granville are familiar so…I work when I can and just make the guests feel comfortable—you know, offer them drinks, tobacco, the like—but I provide nothing more than hospitality.”

You felt that you needed to make that distinction to Benedict. Though you suspected that any chance with him was gone now that he had discovered your secret, you wanted to at least maintain part of your reputation, “Granville is generous enough and I could not be more grateful,” you continued, pulling the nearly translucent robe tightly around your body, “And these parties are so secretive that I thought, perhaps, I could scrounge enough money together before the end of the season before I was discovered. Clearly not.”

You couldn’t help but laugh dryly, but Benedict stared at you, his expression earnest, “You need not worry about that,” he breathed, “I won’t tell a soul.” You absentmindedly bit your bottom lip, chewing nervously on a bit of broken skin. Could he really be trusted? Yes, you had crossed paths over the last few weeks, exchanging pleasantries and the occasional flirtatious glance, but would Benedict be able to keep your secret?

“Thank you, Mr. Bridgerton,” you replied coyly, deciding that you didn’t have a choice in the matter, “Perhaps I will be able to repay you one day.” A sly smile spread across Benedict’s face, his eyes flickering to the locked door. Though the party was continuing on the other side, you two had remained virtually undisturbed.

Feeling bold, he traced his fingers over your collarbone, instantly sending a chill down your spine, “Perhaps…you could repay me now?” he posited, trying his best not to sound like a complete and utter rake, “Only if you wish to, of course.” Despite your best efforts, you could feel a palpable spark that had been building between the two of you over the past few weeks. And you had grown tired of restraining your impulses any longer.

Gently, you placed a soft kiss on his lips. Your eyes fluttered shut and Benedict cupped your face with his hand, his grip surprisingly tender. His free arm wrapped around your body smoothly, pulling you flush against him. You frantically thought through the consequences of someone discovering you with a Bridgerton, but you were too preoccupied with removing Benedict’s clothing to pay much mind…

“Benedict!” Anthony snapped his younger brother out of his reverie as the carriage slowed to a stop, “Would you get your head out of the clouds and tell me what’s going on?” Benedict stared at him, utterly panic stricken. He had kept your secret for nearly a month now, and during that time the two of you had gotten even closer, both in the eyes of the ton and after nightfall in your bedchamber.

Benedict’s mind almost drifted to the night he had shared with you only hours before, but focused on the task at hand, “You needn’t worry your pretty little head, brother,” he said coolly, “I have it all under control.” Anthony looked as if he were going to be sick, and Colin smiled with devilish glee. The three brothers clamored out of the carriage and made their way into the bustling ballroom, more of their family trailing close behind.

Benedict could hear Eloise whine as Lady Bridgerton attempted to smooth down her hair, and he felt a small pang of guilt for not coming to his sister’s aid against their mother’s incessant prodding. But now, he had more pressing matters at hand; namely, what in the hell he was going to say to you now that his brothers were onto him.

He spotted you from across the hall, his heart fluttering with every step he took in your direction. He noticed that you were wearing an intricately laced shawl that was tied tightly across your chest, completely covering your collarbone and much of your breast. Benedict felt himself frown slightly, then immediately scold himself for being improper at a society function; surely, you need not show your bosom to the entire ton in order to draw the eye of him and a number of other suitors.

You were conversing with Penelope and Lady Featherington when he finally approached you, eyes wide with fear, “Hello,” he said politely, giving a slight nod to Penelope and her mother, “Is there a spot open for my name on your card?” You quirked an eyebrow, giving him a smirk as you removed the card from your wrist.

“Why of course, Mr. Bridgerton,” you replied in an equally cordial manner. Heaven forbid Portia Featherington get a whiff of your affair; you’d be certain your name would be splashed across Lady Whistledown’s pamphlet before you’d wake the next morning, “In fact, you are the first gentleman to ask, so you may have the first dance. If you are not otherwise engaged, that is.” He shook his head and his eyes gleamed as he returned your card to your delicately gloved hand.

Despite his anxiety being astronomically high, Benedict was delighted that he was able to dance with you so early in the evening. He always thought of you as a fluid dancer, light on your feet as the two of you would glide across the ballroom. He often found himself not being able to take his eyes off you, the lively music and judgmental crowd fading away the moment he embraced you.

More importantly, he wanted to speak to you about the precarious situation you found yourselves in. It was only a matter of time until either Anthony or Colin pried the truth out of him, and he wouldn’t let the news spread across all of London society, besmirching your good name. He cared about you too much to allow such a wretched thing to happen.  

A few moments later, all of the couples were signaled that the first dance was to begin. Benedict shot a glance to Colin, who had been talking Anthony’s ear off since they arrived. Now, the two of them were staring him down, whispering like schoolboys. He refrained from scoffing and instead took your hand gently, pulling you into his tall frame as the music began.

You instantly noticed the nervous and almost pained expression splashed across Benedict’s face, and you furrowed your brow in worry. However, you decided your best course of action was to try and alleviate the tension he must’ve been feeling, “I see you haven’t taken a liking to my shawl,” you remarked, a sly smile dancing on your lips, “I will have to tell my sister she has dreadful taste.”

Benedict ripped his eyes from his brothers’ stares and produced a small chuckle at your teasing. He realized he’d much rather converse with you than worry about what Anthony and Colin were up to, “No, it’s uh—it is, quite lovely,” he countered, lowering his voice, “Though I would prefer to see more of you, of course.” You raised an eyebrow, impressed by his boldness.

“I believe you saw plenty last night, Mr. Bridgerton,” you posited, weaponizing his own name against him, “In fact, I suppose you could blame yourself for my more…conservative attire, wouldn’t you agree?”

Benedict couldn’t help but flush, but cleared his throat to attempt to keep up with your rather scandalous banter, “Yes, well…I suppose…” he stuttered, “I may or may not have left some…marks.” He spun you, watching as your dress moved gracefully around your body and fluttered behind you as you gripped his arm once more.

You searched the panicked expression on his face. Surely, he only knew you were teasing, so why did he look like he was on the brink of sickness? “Benedict, why are you acting so strange?” you asked, attempting to keep the mood light while searching for information, “You’re not falling in love with me, are you?”

Benedict swallowed, attempting to maintain his composure. Besides the looming threat of every affluent family in Mayfair uncovering your secret, he was also painfully aware of how nervous you had been making him over the past weeks. The way your smile lit up every room, the way your eyes sparkled playfully, the way your laugh made his heart do a somersault.

“It’s just as well,” you continued, not waiting for him to answer your rhetorical question, “I overheard Colin and Pen whispering earlier, and Simon and Daphne as well. Apparently, all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.” He sighed, a little relieved that you had caught onto his family’s shenanigans before he worried you unnecessarily. He couldn’t help but appreciate your perceptive nature.

“Believe me, Colin and Daphne may be my siblings, but they are not my friends right now,” he joked nervously, only half-kidding, “And Anthony is on dangerously thin ice. It appears my family can’t help but get involved in matters that do not concern them.” You giggled, causing Benedict’s heart to swell. He was growing more infatuated with you by the second.

“I wish my family cared half as much as yours does,” you say, a twinge of sadness in your voice, “They are all so wonderful, and I’m sure they are just being protective.” Benedict nodded, heartened by the kindness and understanding you were showing to his siblings. You already got along quite well with Eloise and Daphne, and you were always courteous to his mother while still being able to hold your own when conversing with Anthony or Colin.

As the dance came to an end, Benedict had begun to realize his affection for you. Not just physically; yes, your first encounter at Sir Granville’s had brought you two together faster than he had ever expected. It was reckless, intimate, and completely wonderful, but getting to know you, without dozens of uppity members of high society leering at your every move, was more valuable than any nights you had spent together.

And he decided in that moment, as your hand released from his and you both bowed respectfully, that he could not bear to spend one more day without you by his side. But he could not profess his love in front of God and everyone, least of all his family; he quickly surmised that he must wait until a moment presented itself.

You were quickly whisked away by your mother, unable to even say a proper thank you and goodbye. But as your eyes met his blue ones, you couldn’t help but notice how they were sparkling in the candlelight, and you felt a twinge of melancholy. You cared for Benedict, but feared it was only a matter of time before your affair ended and he was married to another disgustingly wealthy aristocrat. You gave him a fleeting smile before getting dragged to the other side of the ballroom.

As you turned away from him, Benedict felt two hands grasping each of his arms, one hand belonging to each of his meddling brothers, “I knew it!” Colin whisper-yelled as he and Anthony pulled their love-struck sibling into a secluded corner of the lavish hall, “You know, you really aren’t fooling anyone, Ben.”

“How do you mean?” Benedict asked nervously in one last ditch effort to conceal the truth. He shouldn’t have bothered; his brothers had seen how smitten he was with you, and soon the entire ton would be abuzz with salacious gossip if he did not make his move that very evening.

“Benedict,” Anthony chided sternly, clapping him on the shoulder, “Please, do not deny it any longer. You’re clearly bewitched.” The eldest Bridgerton child could not help but smirk; it was almost entertaining to see his usually guarded brother so obviously in love.

Benedict sighed, defeated, “Alright,” he whispered, his face flush with embarrassment, “I apologize for thinking I could ever keep a secret from you two.” Colin smirked proudly, feeling as if he were London’s greatest detective, “I’ll tell you everything if you want, but for the love of Christ, it cannot be here.” He gestured to the room, which was growing more crowded with preening mamas, hunting for the slightest whiff of a scandal.

While Benedict and his brothers searched for a private room for him to regale your escapades, your night flew by, and hours later you found yourself chatting with Daphne and Simon on the gorgeously decorated outdoor terrace. The night was perfectly temperate, and although the noise had died down significantly as many guests had departed for the evening, your head was still swimming in thought. Specifically, you were overwhelmed by the thought of Benedict.

He was quite kind to you, and a very smart, charming gentleman, but you felt your heart lurch as you recalled the intimate nights you had shared over the last few weeks. Men of Benedict’s status would not wed a tainted woman, no matter how much you wished he would. It was only a matter of time before Lady Whistledown revealed your transgressions, and you would be marked as an undesirable to the entire upper echelon of society.

You shuddered at the thought. “Chilly, dear?” Daphne asked sweetly, noticing the unsettled look on your face, “I would think you’d be more protected from the elements with that beautiful shawl on.” Your heart jumped to your throat before you could cover for yourself; Benedict had appeared on the terrace, looking absolutely petrified. Simon and Daphne exchanged glances.

“Darling,” Simon said, turning to his wife, “It is quite crisp out here, don’t you think? Perhaps we should—”

“Go inside to warm up?” Daphne finished his sentence, that unmistakably mischievous glint in her eye that all Bridgerton children possessed, “Why yes, I think that is a fantastic idea, Simon.” She hooked her arm under her husband’s, and the two of them bid you and Benedict adieu, much to your dismay. You were certain he had been found out by his family and was here to end your affair before word reached the rest of the ton.

Still, you managed to smile politely. Simon was right, there was a slight chill that pervaded the terrace, mostly due to the lack of company that had populated the space only hours before, “Hello, Benedict,” you mutter, shifting your weight from one heeled foot to the other, “Will you be departing soon or—?”

“Erm, yes,” he answered a bit too quickly, and you raised an eyebrow. His strange behavior all night was another indicator that ending things was clearly as difficult for him to initiate as it would be for you to accept, “But first, I, well, I need to tell you something. Something I probably should have told you weeks ago.”

You felt a lump in your throat almost instantaneously. ‘Here it comes,’ you thought, more distressed than you hoped you would be. Benedict took your gloved hand, rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. If it were not slightly improper, you would almost find it comforting; his touch always seemed to soothe you, ever since your first night together.

“I never expected to…for us to become so close in such a short period of time,” he began, wondering at what point in this silly speech he would make a royal ass out of himself. Though he had gained a little brotherly insight from Anthony and Colin, he still felt as though he could vomit at any second, “And, well, truth be told, I have enjoyed every moment we have spent together.”

You smiled, pleased by his kind words, “Truthfully, I have felt the same,” you remarked, “But it’s quite alright, Ben, I understand—”

“You do?” he cut you off again, a bead of sweat forming on his brow, “Am I really so obvious about my affection for you?” You stared at him, confused. Was this not him ending whatever…relationship the two of you shared? Now you felt like the fool.

“Affection?” you repeated, your mouth twitching, “I thought you did not want to see me anymore.” Benedict’s eyes widened, and he couldn’t help but laugh dryly. You had mistaken his jittery behavior as a bad omen, when that could not be further from reality.

He shook his head, and you felt the pace of your heartbeat quicken, “My dear, I think there’s been a slight misunderstanding,” he joked, clearing his throat, “I know that our relationship has been a secret for some time, but I cannot hide how I feel for you any longer. You are kind, and witty, and strong, and incredibly adventurous, and when our dance came to an end earlier this evening, I…I felt like there was a part of me missing as soon as you left. I…when I’m not with you, it’s almost like…I can’t breathe.”

Your breath hitched in the back of your throat, taken aback by his doting and earnest words. “And it would be my honor,” he smiled, his gaze intense and impassioned, “If I could ask for your hand.” Your eyes sparkled back at his, and you nodded silently, attempting to conceal a squeal of girlish glee. You two were still, unfortunately, in public.

“Yes,” you exhaled, feeling foolish from your assumptions about Benedict only minutes before, “I would be equally honored to be your wife, Benedict Bridgerton.” You snuck him a quick kiss on his cheek, causing him to flush for what was probably the hundredth time that night, “I see our friends were right after all, weren’t they?”

“Yes, yes they were, and I doubt I will ever hear the end of it from Anthony and Colin,” Benedict mused, smiling sweetly as the corners of his eyes crinkled happily, “I’ll see to a proper visit first thing tomorrow morning, I promise.” He studied you, doing all he could to absorb the joyous look etched upon your radiant face. You smirked, turning in the direction of your family’s carriage.

“I shall hold you to that,” you said, pulling him towards the exit, “But don’t think this night is over, Mr. Bridgerton. I’m not done with you quite yet.”

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I hope you enjoyed reading! As always I would love to hear any comments or feedback! Like/comment/reblog, all that good stuff :)

[hanniiesuckle17]

Chapter 7: The Library

A/n: so this chapter has been long-awaited by some and i hope you guys enjoy it! the series will really start moving after this so i would love to hear what you guys think of the chapter! Sorry about any typos- i didn't have time to edit this with all my schoolwork this week! Tag List is Open <3

Tag List: @woodiegochile @mini-meanhoe @leggomylino @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @hoes4hoseok @jeonqqin @geminirules @mrsunshine999 @jisungsjheekies @hannie-squirrel00 @cotccotc @kodzu-ken @konenichi @yangs-jeongin @binniebutter @orangegyu @little-precious-baby @raethethey @sofie296 @hongjoong-a-holic

RBTL Tag List: @bluejayboys @wonderlandless @introverted-stay24  @sunfics​ @deputyjuyeon​  @studioreader​

Warnings: Cursing

WC: 2.9k

Summary: True love has never come easy; life makes sure of that. From unrequited love to missed timing, does anyone have any hope at finding success- let alone pass History at the same time? All these questions leave young people wondering….will they still love me in the morning?

❖

Third POV

Y/n’s eyes grew tired as words about some minuscule event in history floated off the page of her textbook. She closed her eyes, stretching her neck-the bones cracking softly as her stiff neck rolled back. The odd silence drew her attention. Curious, she took the headphones from her ears and listened. All she could hear was the sound of raindrops falling against the large windows of the library.

It became quickly clear to the girl that she was alone and the only light in the room was coming from her little desk. “Hello?” She called out. Her voice echoed out from the second floor and filling the open building. When she heard no response, she shrugged and began pacing up her things to head home.

Though there was no response to the girl’s call there was in fact one lone soul left in the university’s library. One floor directly below Y/n sat a tall and slender boy, books piled high on his desk. Changmin twirled a pen between his fingers before checking his phone. His eyes widened seeing the time. Quickly he stuffed his journals into his bag, leaving his bag only half zipped. Red tuffs of fake hair stuck out as his doll was pushed towards the top of his bag.

The boy did a backtrack wondering if he should put his books away but decided against it knowing if he kept Chanhee and his friends waiting much longer then he might not live to see the midterm. Instead, he turned around and headed for the door- backpack on his shoulder and adjusting the glasses that were falling down his nose. 

It seemed fate was entirely focused on these two tonight. Only the storm clouds had a view of the girl walking down the stairs just in time to meet the boy as he stepped onto the main floor. The two shared a brief look- shocked to see another person at this hour, but continued their way to the front doors wordlessly.

Just the sight of the girl had Changmin’s hands starting a nervous sweat. He tried to focus on anything but how pretty he thought she looked with the dim light from the streetlamps outside casting streams of light over her face. As the two students grew closer to the door the sound of the storm outside grew louder. It was also easier for them to see as they neared the larger windows. 

Y/n reached out for the door. Surprisingly, she found resistance as she pushed. Again the girl tried, sending an awkward smile to the boy behind her. After pushing multiple times she gave up with a sigh.  “I- uh....I think it’s locked.”

“Locked?”

Changmin stepped forward and tried his hand at the closed entranced. He pushed and pulled until retreating, brows furrowed. “What you didn’t believe me?” The girl asked with a breathy laugh. Changmin’s eyes widened as he turned to face her.

“What- no! No, not all! I- I- I just...”

“I was just joking, don’t worry.” A timid smile quirked up the corner of the boy's lips. He watched as she shed her bag- placing it against the nearest row of shelves. “Should we try together?” His head moved faster than his mind could process Y/n’s words. He shed his backpack next to hers and the two turned towards the sealed doors.

In his mind, he knew that even with both of their strengths pushing, the industrial locks on the university doors would not break. “I’m Y/n, by the way.” Instead of looking at the boy, she readied herself at the door, palms pressed against the metal bar.

���Oh- I’m..uh...C-Changmin...”

“Well C-Changmin, push on three?” He nodded, finding Y/n’s smile, though small, even more enchanting up close. “One, two, three!”

The two of them pushed with all their might but to no avail. Y/n looked defeated as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket. Her delicate fingers pushed the button but the screen refused to light up. 

Changmin had a similar idea. He reached for his own phone. Both of them smiled as it lit up showing the time and 11% battery left. The grin quickly fell as he realized there was absolutely no signal. Using his long limbs to his advantage he reached up searching one measly bar. 

Y/n ran a hand through her hair. This was the absolute perfect way to end her already stressful and torturous day. She reached for the lamp on a nearby desk but a huge roll of thunder resonated through the building and it suddenly became even darker. 

“Well, this is the beginning of a horror movie if I’ve seen one.” Changmin joked, kicking the door with a grin. His smile fell as he turned to see the fearful look on Y/n’s face.

“Dude- why the fuck would you say that!” 

“I don’t know! I’m sorry!” He mentally hit himself over and over. Why did he say that? There was no need to break the silence. The silence was his safety net right now. If he was silent there was absolutely no way he could appear like some weird Freakazoid to her. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, casting brief glances over at the pretty girl he had liked for so long.

The two gradually gravitated towards each other. There was really nowhere else to go. Y/n enjoyed the sound of the storm outside, letting it calm her ever-growing nerves. Changmin resisted the urge to engage in embarrassing small talk.

A bright crash of lightning brightened up the room in sheets just as Y/n’s eye fell on the two backpacks several feet away. Her scream echoed off the ceiling as she caught a glimpse of the Chucky doll peeking its head out of the boy’s bag. Instinctively, she grabbed onto the closest thing- which happened to be Changmin’s hoodie.

Heat flooded every inch of his face and he wasn’t quite sure where to put his hands so he settled for keeping them up in the air. Inside his heart was beating faster than he ever thought possible. It was like all of his senses were heightened the moment she touched him.

“What the hell is that?”

“Oh...umm...he’s my Chucky.”

“Your what?” She pulled away from him and Changmin instantly missed her touch. The girl all but laughed seeing the blush on his cheeks and his arms still raised in the air almost in surrender.

“My Chucky. You know- like from the movie...”

“Yes, I’ve seen the fucking movie!”

Nervously he adjusted his sweater before shuffling over and gently tucking his doll safely pack in his bag- out of sight from the still shaken girl. “Why are you carrying that around anyway?”

The scare had seemed to lessen the tension between both of them; though Changmin was still very aware of every word and action towards Y/n. “I was headed to a thriller marathon at my friend’s apartment after I finished some studying.” She nodded but in her mind, she wondered how if he had been studying for as long as she had, he did not have tears running down his face and a massive migraine. “I guess I just lost track of the time.” 

Y/n couldn’t help but smile a the boy’s lopsided grin. She found it endearing how one side was always high than the other. The more he smiled at her the more she wanted to take a picture of his little quirk.

Another weighted silence fell between them. Against his better judgment, Changmin began to speak. “I don’t mean to pry...but what were you doing here so late?” For a moment Y/n had forgotten all about her troubles that had been following her for the past month and a half. A visible heaviness pressed down her shoulders.

Her back pressed against the bookshelf and she let herself slide down to the floor. “I gave up on finding a tutor last week. I was hoping some miracle would happen if I read that stupid book long enough.”

At that moment she wasn’t just the girl he had been pining after since he was in braces. Changmin saw the exhaustion. He saw the complete lack of hope. He moved his backpack- which she had sat down next to and took its place. 

“What book?” He didn’t need to ask but saved her the embarrassment of telling her that he had been in the room for her lecture with Professor Jeong. Wordlessly she pulled out a book, her hand dipping in the air from the significant weight. “Ah,”

“Good ‘ah’ or bad ‘ah’?”

“I’m not sure which the situation calls for?” He said pushing up his glasses with a little smile. 

Changmin’s grin grew a little wider as he heard her laugh. Even sitting in the dark, her smile seemed to fill the room with a warm glow. “At this point, I think I’m just useless.” She pressed her forehead against the cool cover of the book. 

She wondered why she found herself so comfortable with this stranger. It felt easier to talk with this boy she had known for twenty minutes than to talk with her closest friends- even her parents. A small shock of something she could only describe as electricity, raced up her arm as the boy’s hand brushed hers. He reached for the book, gently taking it from her hands and opening it to the tabbed page. 

“You aren’t useless, Y/n,” His words gave her comfort, wrapping around her like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. Changmin chuckled, turning the page. “However, one might find it useful to highlight only the useful information and not the entire page.”

He found it cute looking down at Y/n’s textbook. Most of the passages were marked with yellow highlighter- easy to see even in the growing darkness. Some lines were underlined in red and there were circled statements with question marks all over the page. It was evident that she was in fact trying. Actually, her notes were in more detail than his. 

“I just don't understand it.”

“What?”

“All of it.”

“All of history?”

“Sure- let’s go with that.” She shrugged leaning her head back on the bookshelf.  

“I think history can be confusing sometimes too.” Changmin let her textbook rest on his lap. The two of them looked out the huge windows in front of them, watching the storm rage on outside. Occasionally, a flash of lightning would light up the library. “You know, I’m in Professor Jeong’s class too.”

“You are?”

Chanhee was right. She had no idea he existed until now and unless he played his cards right, she would forget about him the moment she left this building. “Yeah...I sit two rows behind you.” He watched her eyes widened a little as if she was trying to recall every face she had seen in that classroom. “Actually...to be fully honest...I knew who you were before tonight.”

Her brows furrowed, creating a small crease in the middle of her forehead. Everything about her fascinated Changmin, even down to her smallest expression. Getting a little nervous, he started rummaging through his backpack. As he chose his next words carefully in his mind, Changmin pulled out a half-full plastic water bottle and portable charger he forgot he carried. 

Interested in the boy’s previous statement, Y/n watched him with intrigue. “I-uh....” His hands shakily turned on his phone’s flashlight after plugging his phone into the charger. “We went to the same high school. You and I have shared classes since grade nine.” Her jaw dropped a little at his words.

“I feel....like such a bitch.”

“Oh no-” He stuttered, trying to balance the water bottle over his flashlight- creating a makeshift lantern. 

“Oh my god, I am the biggest asshole! I’ve never once noticed you in seven years? You must hate me!”

His heart warmed, seeing how bothered she was. He felt a little pride swell in his chest knowing that Sunwoo and Chanee were completely wrong about Y/n. “No, not at all! I just think we had different friend groups that’s all.”

Shrouded in the light from their little water lamp the two of them exchanged old high school gossip that Changmin never quite understood from the outside. “Wait so Miyoung stole Yeonu away from Hajoon?” Changmin covered his mouth in shock, his eyes widening in a cute way. 

Y/n smiled and nodded, hand falling on his knee. “Yeah- I know right!”

“And Yeonu was the guy who-”

“Yeah who sold Class 4B the midterm answers!”

Changmin let loose a huge sigh. “Damn- I missed so much in high school by just studying and playing games.” This time a comfortable silence fell between the two students on the floor. By the way her eyes were drooping, Y/n assumed it was about three am. 

“Nah you just missed....a whole lot of drama.” She yawned shaking her head to stay awake. 

It was then that Changmin’s willpower gave in to the weariness of his body. His brain no longer had control of his mouth at that moment. “What if I tutored you?”

A sleepily smile slid onto Y/n’s face. She turned her head against the shelf to look up at the boy next to her. His hopes fell as she laughed a little. “I need more help than just History.”

“What else?”

“Math, Physics, Psych...”

“I can help you with all of that too!” 

Changmin hated how eager he sounded. “What are you? Some kind of genius?” She smiled even though her back was getting sore and the sound of the rain was lulling her to sleep. 

“No, just a mathematics major whose parents paid for top tutors until he was sixteen.”

The girl stared at him. Her expression was unclear. In her mind, she knew there had to be some catch. No way was this guy going to tutor her in all the subjects she needed for nothing. “What’s your rate, Genius?”

“Like money?

She nodded, turning to fully face the boy. Y/n waited for some terrible number that was hellbent on destroying her bank account. Changmin on the other hand was panicking trying to decipher what number was high enough to get her to say yes but not low enough to make her think that he wasn’t serious. “Um.....$8?”

“An hour? For four subjects?”

“Yes...”

“DEAL!” 

Once again Changmin was frozen as Y/n threw her arms around him in a hug. His hands returned to their familiar place- up in the air, shaking, and far away from her. 

The pair spent the next hours with textbooks sprawled around them. Changmin patiently assessed where Y/n was in each of her subjects, surprised how someone of her intelligence was struggling. He found that she was indeed very bright- but simply not understanding the information the way it was being given to her. 

Neither of them noticed the rain stopping or even the sun rising with a pink and orange glow coming over the horizon, morning light sliding across the marbled floor. They didn’t even notice the sound of keys being turned in the front doors hours earlier they tried so hard to open. 

“What are you kids doing here?” The two students looked up to see one of the librarians standing in the doorway, keys in hand. 

They looked at each other before scrambling to grab their things and running out the doors. The warm, wet morning air greeted them as they stumbled outside. The sun was just peaking over the buildings and Y/n smiled at the dew clinging to the bright green blades of grass lining the sidewalks. It was a new day and a new hope filled her chest. “We’re finally out!” Changmin cheered, jumping up and down adorably. 

Y/n found it precious that someone so tall and graceful looking could be so clumsy and cute. “Changmin, I can’t thank you enough. I don’t think anyone could have explained the Joseon Era principles better.”

“Oh- i-it was nothing.”

“Here,” Taking a pen from her pocket she reached for his right arm and rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie. He took the moment to once again appreciate her beauty up close while the girl wrote her number on his arm. When she was done she placed the pen in his large hand and looked at him expectantly. “Aren’t you going to give me yours?”

Changmin vigorously nodded his head ‘yes’ and internally screamed at his brain to remember the numbers to his own phone number. With anything but steady hands, he wrote his number on her forearm and basked in the glow of the smile he received.

“So-uh..I’ll call you? You’ll call me? We can talk about times that work?”

“Yeah! Dates....and what not...Study-dates I mean! Tutoring! Yes.”

“Awesome! I can’t wait! Thank you so much, you have no idea how much you are saving my ass.” Y/n cheered as she started to back away towards her dorm. 

“So you’ll call me?” He called after her. His feet were planted firmly where he stood for he feared if he moved an inch he might float away.

She laughed, her smile even brighter in the growing daylight. “Or something, yeah!”

“Okay!” He watched Y/n unit she rounded a corner before letting all the joy explode from his body in a fit of jumps, hollers, cheers, dance, and maybe what some might consider singing. 

The sun basked in the boy’s glee as he danced and jumped his way down the sidewalk screaming “YES! SHE KNOWS WHO I AM!” His body was no longer sore and his mind was no longer tired. Instead, he ran all the way back to his apartment with a grin that the sun could not compete with. 

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[justkending]

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody...

                              1700 Follower Drabble!

A/N: Oh goodness gracious!! I’ve hit 1700 beautiful and loving followers. Everyone of you bringing more and more light into my world:’) In honor of you all helping me fulfill my dream as a writer and supporting me along the way, here is a little drabble for all you sweet humans. I can’t thank you enough, and I can’t express my love for each of you enough as well... 

-So, I stole from my prompt list on an old challenge I did and created a drabble of my own with them! Hope you enjoy my lovelies<3

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 5000+

Prompts:

“I actually did my hair for the first time in 3 months. I think I deserve a medal for this. “

“Dude, it’s 3 in the morning.”

____________

The banging was loud and profusely consistent as Y/N sat up from sleep with a groan. She sent a death glare to the door as if it was the culprit to waking her, but she knew it was one of her teammates that would soon be dead...

“What?!” she said bitterly, quickly tearing open the door. 

Bucky was on the other side with a slick grin showing his amusement to the situation. Her hair disheveled from sleep and eyes filled with hatred, but the sports bra and tight sleep shorts were doing something for her in her annoyed state.

“Mission. Be in the helicarrier in bay 3 in 20 minutes,” he said with a smirk before turning in his step to walk away.

“Dude, it’s 3 in the morning!” she shouted after him.

“Evil doesn’t sleep,” he responded without looking back.

All he heard from behind him was a strangled groan mixed with a muffled scream as she went back in her room and slammed the door. 

____________

The last to board the helicarrier, Y/N walked in throwing her things to the side, and sat in a seat immediately falling to her side to fall asleep again.

“Wake up, Y/N. We have to do a briefing,” Bucky said, slapping her boot. 

“I swear to God. Do you have a deathwish?” she growled, begrudgingly sitting up and rubbing her eyes. 

“Really not a morning person this one,” Nat laughed coming around the corner. Y/N sending her a glare as well, but not nearly as deadly as the one she saved specifically for Bucky. “Come on. We’ll make it quick, and then we have a 4 hour flight. You can sleep then,” she nodded toward the briefing area of the giant plane. 

Taking a deep breath she stood up following the rest of the team with Bucky behind her. 

“Cicely Rosmarie DeLuca. Daughter of Ramone DeLuca who is a well known crime boss in Italy. Seems to run in the family as Cicely has taken over the control of her family's business within the last 2 years,” Steve explained pulling up pictures on the screen as everyone sat with informational packets on the group in front of them.

“Since when did we start handling crime bosses?” Sam spoke up.

Everyone who had been on this particular mission included; Nat, Sam, Bucky, Steve, Y/N, and Wanda. So if this many Avengers were needed, clearly something much bigger than just crime bosses were involved. 

“Because the DeLuca’s are working with a division group of Hydra. We think they aren’t really in it for what Hydra wants, but more so gaining the alli and making some money on the side,” Steve sighed. “It looks like they have a means to steal plans that could wreak havoc on confidential equipment that we have in the works. Stuff that could easily be modified to become world wide dangers.”

“I have an idea,” Y/N spoke up. The whole crew turned to her. “Let’s just stop creating things that can destroy planet Earth. I feel like that’s a healthy start to creating the safe environment we’ve been fighting so hard to preserve over all these years.” The grin on her face was big and sarcastic and quickly dropped to a bitch face. 

“You can’t help but be a smartass all hours of the day, can you sweetheart?” Bucky groaned a few seats ahead of her. The pet name only there because he knew how much it annoyed her.

“And you can’t help but be a nuisance to my life all hours of the day, can you jackass?” she retorted. 

“You guys. Focus,” Steve interrupted, sending the two his Captain look. “You’re going to have to get along for this mission because we’re going undercover, and we only have one night to get this right.”

“Undercover how?” Wanda asked. 

“There’s a gala in Venice. From what we’ve gathered, the information will be swapped there. We need to hunt it down discreetly and capture the agents working with Hydra. From there, we’ll bring them in for questioning and figure out where exactly they are getting their information from. We believe we have a spy within our facility that’s leaking all the confidential knowledge.”

“And if these Hydra agents happen to do what Hydra does best and kill themselves before we can get anything out of them, then what?” Y/N asked. 

“Ever the optimist,” Bucky mumbled. No one else paid mind to it, but Y/N kicked the back of his chair making him turn and send yet another glare at her.

“We’ve prepared for that,” Steve said, nodding to Nat to go to the next slide. “We have devices, drugs, and antidotes in case cyanide becomes involved. The capsules of drug and equipment being used incapacitates them long enough to get them back to our base and keep in holding. From there, we will take other precautions to keep them from doing anything stupid that involves cyanide. Again, we don’t know if that will be the case, but with our history with Hydra, they have yet to prove us wrong.”

“So basically, you’re bringing us to go to a party to roofie Hydra agents. I gotta say, not what I was expecting from our high tech division,” Y/N nodded with a small laugh.

“It’s the best way to keep discrete and not cause a scene or hopefully any fatalities at the gala. They are using a charity for cover, and I rather not actual good people get hurt in the end,” Steve sighed. “Now, we land in 3 and a half hours. Once landed get your gear ready, look over your profiles, and get prepared for the gala. Like I said we are going undercover, so look your best.”

“This doesn’t happen to be a black tie gala, does it?” Bucky asked. 

“What gala isn’t?” Sam retorted. 

“Suits are already ready to go in the other room. Ladies, our dresses are in section 11 of the ship,” Nat explained, standing and gathering her things. “Y/N, that means you're going to figure out how to walk in heels,” she smirked. 

“I think we’ll need more time than you’re giving us for that to ever be convincing,” Bucky snickered. Sam laughed too. 

“Oh, shut the fuck up. I’ve done missions like this before. Just because I don’t wear an evening gown everyday, doesn’t mean I can’t pull one off,” she stood, walking by and flicking the back of Bucky’s head. 

Her, Nat, and Wanda leaving the room while Bucky held the crown of his head in vexation. 

“Son of a-” he started going to stand and retaliate. 

“Buck, I’m going to need you to pull it together for one night,” Steve said, cutting him off from his path to harass Y/N. “You and Y/N are teammates. So either put on a face or suck it up for the night.”

“I’m not the one you need to be telling that too. The she-witch in there is going to be the one to mess it up if any of us,” Bucky argued.

“Y/N is a well trained spy and the best marksman on the team as of right now. She will do her job and you’ll do yours. You have to let the petty fighting go for one night, ok?”

“Come on Cap. You know it’s more than just petty arguments. Bucks gotta crush,” Sam said singing the last words.

With wide eyes, Bucky turned to Sam. “I do not! She’s nothing but an annoying headache added to my life... Scratch that. Migraine.”

“That’s what someone with a crush would say,” Sam said with a grin and squinted eyes. 

“I don’t have a-” Bucky started.

“Hey Cap. Nat needs you real quick,” Y/N said poking her head back in. Everyone turned to her as if they just got caught doing an illegal act and stayed silent. “Did I walk in on something?”

“No,” Steve shook his head. “I’ll be there in a second.” 

She nodded before giving everyone a furrowed eyebrow in confusion as she left. “Weirdos,” she mumbled walking away.

Steve let out a deep sigh. “Just behave yourself tonight. If you do, Y/N will too.” He walked to leave the room. 

“Yeah, right,” Bucky scoffed. 

“Yeah, your 100% smitten,” Sam laughed walking past him out of the room.

“No, I’m not!”

__________________

The time had come. Everyone was prepared. Lookouts were in their designated spots, any tech that was being used was up and live, and everyone was about to meet at the Gala. 

“Ok, Nat, you’re with me tonight. Sam and Wanda you two will be with each other. And Bucky and Y/N, you two will be partners as well,” Steve explained over the coms. 

All the women had arrived just a few minutes later and the men were already scoping out the place.

“Wait, what?” Bucky responded back. Sam standing next to him.

“Oh, he definitely did that on purpose,” Sam chuckled. 

“Why the hell would he? We don’t work well together,” Bucky groaned, looking around for her. 

“Well, you better figure it out. At least for tonight,” Sam patted his back, taking a champagne glass from the passing waiter and moving to find his chosen partner. 

Bucky rolled his eyes into another dimension thinking about the all annoying arguments that he was sure would be apart of the night.

“Fine, Y/N what are you wearing?” Bucky asked in the comms.

“James, I’m flattered, but I don’t really like you in that way,” her sass came back through the ear piece. 

“Steve,” Bucky groaned. 

“Guy’s stop it. Y/N tell Bucky what you're wearing so we can start this mission. We don’t have all night,” Steve instructed with irritation. 

“A black dress,” she sighed. 

“Wow, real descriptive. Let me just search through all 500 of them I see,” Bucky said sarcastically. 

“I’m by the rip off Vincent van Gogh painting on the east side. Next to the waterfall,” she explained. 

Bucky took a deep breath walking over in her direction. It was a really crowded place, so maneuvering through people to find her became difficult. That was until he reached the fountain she was talking about, and the people had thinned out some. 

Glancing all around, he couldn’t pick her out from all the black dresses he’d seen. 

“Y/N, where the hell are you?” he whisper shouted in the comms. No answer. “Of fucking course no answer,” he said to himself. 

But upon sharper inspection, he noticed her face in the distance. 

And holy shit. 

That did not look like the Y/N he was used to. I mean it did, but she was usually a natural beauty. Not that she wasn’t right now, but done up the way she was was a whole different kind of beauty. 

Her dress was a black off the shoulder evening gown. The middle section of it was a see through mesh, and the top part of it looked as if it she had a bra on full display. Only bringing more attention to her perfectly modeled torso. Her hair was done in an elegant, but messy, kind of braid. The whole ensemble flowing together and creating an refined and formal Y/N that Bucky had never got the chance before tonight to see. 

Having looking that stunning, Bucky wasn’t surprised to see the men around her glance her way. However, the man that was only a few feet into her space and talking up a storm looked to be making Y/N uncomfortable. She had on a fake smile trying not to bring attention to herself, but disgust to the older and space invading man, was showing in her eyes.

Quickly, Bucky maneuvered to her.

“There you are, doll,” he smiled widely at her, putting his arm out and wrapping it around her waist as he pulled her side into him. “I must have gone to the wrong fountain looking for you,” he winked. 

As if in instinct, she leaned into his side and brought her hand to his chest lightly patting it. 

“Oh dear, you and your directionally challenged self. I can’t take you anywhere,” she laughed in a surprisingly domestic way. 

“Oh, is this your-?” the older, and now looking at him closer, creepy man started looking Bucky up and down. 

“My date, yes,” she answered. “If you’ll excuse us, we have some other friends that we were supposed to be meeting with,” she patted Bucky’s chest. “Right, honey?”

Lost while staring down at Y/N, he didn’t answer right away, but when he looked back at the old man who had a suspicious look on his face, he snapped out of it. 

“Uh, yes. If you’ll excuse us,” he said offering his arm, which she took and intertwined herself into him. 

They walked away quickly before the man could say anything else and once a good distance away, Y/N let out a deep sigh. 

“Take it you weren’t the one that approached him?” Bucky chuckled. 

“99% of the time it’s not the woman doing the approaching. It’s the sexually frustrated, overcompensating, and egotistic assholes that do,” she shook her head. 

Ok that made him chuckle a little.

“Well, glad I could be of service,” Bucky nodded looking around them. If he was going to stay focused on the mission, he couldn’t be looking at her. She had proven herself to be a distraction for the night while looking like that. 

“Yes, thank you. I would have done something about it, but I don’t think throat punching someone in the middle of a gala would have been normal entertainment for these people,” she said almost in disgust at the crowd around them. All prissy and rich, donating only a 164th of their wealth to try and not come off as greedy. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard that right. Did you just say… Thank you?” Bucky teased. 

“Don’t push your luck, Barnes,” she countered, but when she looked up at him there was a small smile on her dark maroon lips. A look Bucky had never really been on the receiving end of. 

He returned it in surprise and noticed just how devastatingly gorgeous she looked up close. Had she always been this stunning and Bucky never noticed. Ok, well he had noticed, but with the constant fighting and bickering they did, it was hard to focus on it. 

Without thinking, his thoughts spilled out. “You look very nice tonight,” he said to her. Instantly blushing and looking away.

“A compliment? I didn’t know you knew how to use those,” she gasped teasingly. 

“Don’t push your luck, Y/L/N,” he retorted back. The smile still stuck on his face. 

“Time out. Are we being civil right now?” she asked, halting her steps. Bucky stopped and looked back at her. 

“It’s possible if you just learn how to be less aggravating,” he smirked. 

“There it is. Whew, I was worried we were getting along for a second,” she laughed, continuing their walk.

Bucky hadn’t heard that laugh ever. At least not directed to something he had said. And damn, he liked it. Why the hell did he have to like it?

 “You know? I actually did my hair for the first time in 3 months. I think I deserve a medal for this,” she added. 

“I don’t think they give out medals for that,” Bucky couldn’t help himself, but laugh with her. 

“Well, they should. It took quite a bit of effort. Doing hair could be an olympic spot in itself,” she shrugged. 

“Ok, everyone in their sections?” Steve’s voice came through the comms.

“Good here,” Sam spoke up. 

“We’re set here,” Y/N checked in.

“Great. Keep an eye out for the individuals we’re here for. Y/N, Bucky, you guys keep an eye on the DeLuca’s. If they venture off from the party, it could be the meeting we’re here for. So follow and keep us updated,” Steve instructed. 

“Got it, Cap,” Bucky voiced in. “Alright, shall we mingle?” he asked, looking down at Y/N.

“I mean, if we must,” she deflated some on his arm, but quickly put on a mask straightening and acting as if she went to an event like this every weekend. 

______________

They conversed, they faked life stories with the rich, they drank, and they easily convinced everyone around them they were just another pair of investors. The mission was doing fine other than the fact, nothing suspicious had happened yet. 

The was until, Y/N was getting her 4th drink and Bucky noticed Cicely DeLuca was conversing with someone they had kept an eye on all night. And now, was headed off to another room with them. 

“Y/N,” Bucky said coming up behind her. “They're moving.”

Y/N took a long sip of the wine in her hand. She squinted toward the group and nodded. 

“Ok, let’s get to business,” she nodded, walking straight to them.

“Y/N!” Bucky shouted quickly, grabbing her arm before she got to far, and she fell into him some. 

“Oops,” she giggled, stumbling on her feet. 

“Wait a second. Are you drunk?” he asked in a concerned voice. 

“No, no,” she brushed off. Clearing her throat. “No… Ok, a little tipsy, but not drunk,” she waved off. “I lost count of the champagne, and I’m pretty sure they have a high proof brand.”

“Dear God. We're on a mission, Y/N. What were you thinking?!” 

“I was thinking, free alcohol,” she smirked before standing straighter. “No time to talk about it. We need to go.”

She turned and quietly marched to follow. Bucky close behind caught up to her and wrapped a hand her arm.

“You’re a mess. Just let me lead,” he groaned pulling her arm through his and keeping her close.

“You smell good,” she noted. 

He looked down at her and saw she was giving him a soft sincere smile. Really? Out of all times, this is when she decided to make Bucky’s head all fuzzy. 

“Come on,” he sighed, pulling her gently to the corridor the suspicious group disappeared into. 

Discreetly they stayed around the corner and watched the DeLuca’s and guests go into a secluded room. No one else was in the halls but them and a few guards posted at the doors. 

“Shit,” Bucky whispered. 

“What?” Y/N asked peeking her head around to see what Bucky saw, but she peeked out a little too much and the guard heard them. He quickly pulled her back from view.

“Damn it, Y/N,” Bucky whispered to her in a frustrated way. 

He was going to pull her away down another hallway to try and keep from being fully caught, but he wasn’t fast enough, and the guard started to come around the corner. 

Without getting a second to prepare, Y/N crashed her lips into Bucky’s and wrapped her arms around his shoulders behind his neck. A little stunned at first, Bucky froze, but it didn’t take him long to fall into the action with her. He slowly brought his hands around her waist and pulled her flush to him. The kiss hard and frenzied.

“Hey, you two aren’t supposed to be here!” The guard shouted. 

Y/N pulled away and faked shock. 

“Oh, goodness! I’m so sorry,” she blushed, adding a fake british accent and pushing herself into Bucky in embarrassment. “We were just trying to find a quiet place to… Well, I won’t get too graphic,” she giggled. 

The man who at first had a hard glare on his face eased up and sighed. 

“It’s fine. I’m just going to need you two go back to the party. This section is closed off,” he instructed coming closer. 

“Of course, of course. You’re only doing your job. I get it,” she smiled a captivating and warm smile untangling herself from Bucky who had yet to be able to form a coherent thought since her surprise make out session. “Let me just grab my clutch real fast- Oop!” She dropped the purse that had opened and the contents of it spilling out. “Oh God. I’m such a clutz,” she laughed. The alcohol created a tint of red in her cheeks only making her little act more convincing. 

“Here, let me help,” the large guard offered, bending to help her grap the loose items. 

“Ever the gentleman,” she beamed up at him. Before he knew it though, the tiny bottle of perfume she had in the clutch let out a spritz in his face. 

He coughed at first, but in seconds fell over asleep. Before he could hit the floor with a thud, Bucky moved to ease him down. 

“What the fuck?” Bucky said with wide eyes as he looked back at her. 

“What? I’m doing my job,” she answered, calmly and collectively putting her things back in her clutch and smoothing out her dress. Her behavior was completely different from 2 seconds ago. “Tipsy doesn’t mean I’m completely incompetent.”

The footsteps of the second guard coming around the corner were getting closer. 

“Move him,” Y/N directed before walking toward the other threat. 

By the time Bucky had placed the other man in a closet nearby and turned the corner where Y/N had gone, he saw her dragging the second guard back his way.

“A little help, muscles?” she groaned at the heavy set guy in her hands. 

Bucky quickly did the same with the second guard placing them in closets and blocking the door with a heavy decorative table. 

“Cap, we’re at the meeting room. Both guards taken care of and about to put the listening device on. You ready?”

“Nat?” Steve asked.

“On it”, Nat replied. “Y/N, if you can’t get into the room, stick it to the door. I can get feedback that way too,” she instructed. 

Bucky looked at Y/N. “Where’s the device?” he asked.

“One second,” she exhaled. She placed her hand on his shoulder for support as she lifted her foot and dug out a small mechanism from her heel. “For once, heels are useful in my life,” she sighed, putting her foot back down and activating it. “Keep watch.” She moved to the double doors the suspects were in and placed it on the outside as Bucky kept an eye down the hallway. 

“Why do I feel like a sidekick in this and not an actual agent?” Bucky mumbled. 

“Because you're Robin and I’m the Batman in this scenario, didn’t you know?” she said with a wink and her sarcasm coming back. 

He rolled his eyes before looking back down the hall. 

“Ok, we’re in,” Nat explained. “Sam and Wanda head to their location for stand by in case they need backup.”

“Copy that,” Wanda spoke up. 

They all listened in on the conversation but so far it had just been exchanging casualties and nothing having to do with evil plans. 

“God, talk about a boring party,” Y/N sighed next to Bucky as they waited for something to happen. 

“Wasn’t boring 5 minutes ago,” Bucky thought to himself. 

He couldn’t help but look over to her and study her again. She was focused on the view from the balcony off to the side. You could see the party happening down there, but it was a private spot where the people below couldn’t really see them up where they were.

She fidgeted with the small mesh strap that wrapped around her arms creating the off the shoulder look. Her eyes darting around as if some form of danger was down there and not behind her.

“What are you seeing?” he asked. 

“Don’t know. But something about this seems off,” she said softly. 

“Off how?” he went on. 

“It’s been 5 minutes of small talk and nothing about what we came here for. It’s usually straight to dirty business with these things.” She looked back at him, but the look in his eye wasn’t showing interest in the mission. He looked like he was thinking about something else. Turning back to the balcony she spoke up. “What’s going on in that head of yours Barnes? You catching something I’m not?”

“Why’d you kiss me?” he said bluntly. 

She stiffened and turned back to him. “What?”

“You could of easily just acted drunk and done something with that to throw him off, but you kissed me. And not just a fake, ‘I’m trying to act kiss’ That was a full on kiss,” he said taking a step to her. 

“We’re on a job Bucky. I have to make it as convincing as possible,” she said, but there was a weird hesitancy in her voice. “That or we would have been caught and dealing with two highly trained security guards, possibly causing a ruckus that would have brought attention to us.”

He paused. He was looking too far into it, wasn’t he? He just made an awkward situation out of nothing. 

“Though, I can’t not say you in that suit had something to do with it,” she mumbled to herself, but the super soldier hearing beat out her quiet confession.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Bucky grinned shocked and stood behind her. 

“You look good in a suit, ok? It made it a little easier kissing you,” she huffed not making eye contact with him. “Don’t get too big an ego there, bud.”

Though he could come up with about 30 different things to say and push her buttons with that confession, that’s not where his mind went. 

When she turned, not hearing a witty response for the co-worker, she didn’t expect to see him right behind her and almost chest to chest at the movement. 

“What are you-” she started, but looking up into his eyes, she didn’t see irritation this time. No, she saw lust. His eyes dilated to where the blues of his eyes just covered the rims. “Bucky,” she said in a hushed whisper not being able to break her gaze from his lips.

But before she could question him, he lowered himself to her level and connected their lips once again that evening. His hand going from her cheek to behind her neck pulling her in. Her hands at first on his chest nervous at the closeness, but now grabbing the lapels of his coat and pulling him closer. 

Frantic and starved was the best way to describe that kiss. As if it had been a long time coming, and tasted oh so much sweeter after marinating all this time. 

They eventually pulled away from the intoxicating and dizzying action. Both of their eyes practically black looking at the other. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Bucky confessed. 

“Could’ve fooled me,” she said, still trying to catch her breath. 

Breaking the moment up, they heard a crash come from the other side of the doors they were monitoring. 

“Shit,” Y/N said, quickly making haste to the room. Bucky two steps behind her. 

Bucky kicked open the doors and saw Hydra agents pointing their gun at the DeLuca’s. Though their job wasn’t to take care of the crime boss family, no one needed to get hurt. 

The gun quickly turned on Bucky, but before the shot could be made, a knife flew into the man's shoulder causing him to grasp it and fall to the ground in agony.

“Nice shot,” Bucky smirked. 

“Thanks, now focus!” She smiled back before the two went in and a whole fight scene evolved. 

Sam and Wanda were there seconds later, and as if the easiest task in the world, all the bad guys were in the hands of the Avengers.

No one died, and everyone that was needed for questioning was put to sleep somehow and brought back to the helicarrier. 

________________

“Nice work, Y/L/N,” Steve patted her shoulder that hadn’t been injured. 

At some point in the fight, the sleeves she had been fiddling with on her shoulders had restricted her to defend herself from a knife. In the act of cutting her though, it also cut the sash off and Y/N used it to her advantage. She had used the fabric as a way to tie up the man who assaulted her and render him defenseless after some light manipulation with the sash made his weaponless. Crazy the things you can make dangerous when your a trained spy. 

“Thanks Cap,” she smiled, hissing as the nurse on board put a disinfectant on the wounds. 

“Hey, coming out with just one injury is a win when you use a ribbon as your weapon,” Bucky chuckled walking over. Hands in his pockets and a smile taking over his features. 

“You’re not wrong,” she laughed before hissing again at another round of alcohol to the open cut.

“I don’t think you’ll need stitches, but we are going to wrap this up to keep from infection. Let me go grab the gauze,” the nurse informed her, heading to the medical bay. 

“Nice work tonight,” Bucky said, sitting next to her. “I guess working side by side isn’t as horrible as I suspected.”

“Eh, it wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great,” she said shrugging. Bucky sent her a blank stare and slowly blinked, not amused. “Oh, lighten up. I’m just pulling your leg,” she laughed, shoving his shoulder lightly. “You’re not that bad of a partner.”

He eased up and a soft smile formed on his lips before he looked back down. 

“Listen,” he started. 

“How do you feel about getting coffee when we get back?” she cut him off. 

“What?” Bucky said sitting straighter. 

“Coffee. You know that drink that gives people energy. It’s usually served around breakfast time, but in Europe they actually-”

“I know what coffee is,” he shook his head with a chuckle. “I’m just a little shocked.”

The nurse came back around the corner and motioned for Y/N to come with her. She got up and turned back to Bucky before she followed. 

“You shouldn’t be, considering what happened on that balcony,” she winked, making him blush as she disappeared around the corner. 

“Damn,” Bucky eventually said to himself when he could form a thought. “She’s going to be the death of me…”

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[munstysmind]

DIFFICULT - Maddison - An Original Story

WARNING/S: Mentions of Travis

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE USED IN ANY CAPACITY

Divider by @firefly-graphics

MAIN MASTERLIST

MADDISON MASTERLIST

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"it's your grandfathers 80th birthday maddison" Maddie's mother says angrily over the phone. She's been berating her for the last ten minutes and all Maddie wants to do is hang up but if she does that her mother will continue to call her nonstop until she answers again. Lord knows she loves her mother but there are times she wishes she wasn't related to the woman, this being one of them.

"I know that Mum and I wish I could be there but I can't" Maddie tells her, pinching the bridge of her nose. She's already starting to get a headache from this phone call and she knows it's only a matter of time before it starts to turn into a migraine.

"why?" her mother snaps, making Maddie roll her eyes. The answer is pretty fucking obvious.

"Because I'm working" Maddie says as she heads over the the small kitchen and starts searching one of the cupboards for some Advil.

"well can't you take time off?" her mother asks as Maddie finally finds the small bottle of liquid capsules. She takes two, swallowing them down with water before she answers her mother.

"No Mum, I can't" she sighs. If only it were that easy.

"why not?"

"Because if I take time off production will stop"

"surely they can work something out"

"Maybe, if you had given me a months notice and not three days. They don't have a back up actor that can come in and take over"

"it's one day"

"For you. For me its over 50 hours of travel and multiple time zones. It's not like I'm a few hours away, I'm on the other side of the world"

"so that's why you're refusing to come?"

"I'm not refusing to come, I can't. Can't and won't are two very different things"

"maddison, you have resources, if you really wanted to be here you would"

"It's in two days. I have fucking responsibilities, I can't just up and leave them because you decided at the last minute to throw a party for Grandpops"

"you know, ever since travis you've become difficult"

"The fuck did you just say?" Maddie growls. Her mother is lucky she’s on the other side of the world right now

"ever since travis you've become difficult" her mother repeats

"How dare you"

"it's the truth"

"No. One, don't you EVER say his name to me again. How dare you bring him up in an argument to prove your point. And two, I haven't become difficult, you're just pissed off that you don't have the whole story. Guess what, that's not my problem. You don't get to have a tantrum that I haven't told you stuff when you're the reason I haven't told you"

"how am i the reason you've lied to me maddison?"

"Fuck sake... I haven't lied to you"

"you have. i had to find out in a fucking news article"

"Keeping things private is not lying. I have the fucking right to privacy, I have the right to tell you as much or as little as I want"

"i'm your mother maddison, i have the right to know"

"No actually you don't. You just think you do. Stop making this about yourself"

"i'm not making this about myself, i just want to know why i wasn't told"

"I'm not doing this with you"

"maddison"

"No. I am tired. There are reasons I haven't told you every single fucking detail of what I went through that night… or the past two years. Would you like to know what he said to me when he almost choked me to death? You are so fucking critical of every single choice I make. I'm a grown fucking woman and I will do what's best for me because it's my life. You need to respect that"

"don't speak to me like that"

"That's real fucking rich coming from you, given how you've been speaking to me for the last fifteen minutes. And let's not forget that message you sent to me after Travis plastered what he did you me all over the internet for the world to see"

"i'm not talking about that"

"Of course not because then we'd have to talk about the things you said to me"

"maddison, that's enough. you have done nothing but treat me like the enemy since that night"

"You know what, until you pull your head out of your ass and stop acting like you're the victim, don't bother calling me. I'm sick of it. I'm the one who almost died, not you. All you've done, for months, is made me feel guilty for what I did to survive those first few months. It stops, now. I'm your daughter, not one of your surgical interns. You don't get to treat me like this and expect me to put up with it. Also, since you think you have the right to know every single detail of my life... I'm seeing someone and no, I'm not telling you a damn thing" Maddie snaps before hanging up.

She knows this is going to come back to bite her in the ass but she doesn't care, she's done. If her mother wants to continue to be part of her life she's going to have to earn it.

"Arghhhhh" she yells in frustration, shoving her phone into her pocket before storming out of her trailer and running straight into Danneel

"Shit… I'm sorry" Maddie says as she runs her hands through her hair, her mothers words still ringing in her ears.

"Are you OK?" Danneel asks, knowing something isn't right. She hasn't seen Maddie like this in a long time.

"No" Maddie sighs, trying her best not to cry as she feel tears of frustration starting to form in her eyes

"Come here" Danneel says softly as she pulls her aside to the empty catering tent and sits her down on one of the chairs.

"I heard the yelling... your mum?" Danneel asks as he pulls a chair up in front of Maddie.

"What gave that away?" Maddie says sarcastically

"The only time I've seen you like that is with her" Danneel tells her. The relationship Maddie has with Jensen is very much reflected in the relationship she has with his wife. Jensen is like a second father to Maddie and Danneel is in turn a second mother to her.

As Maddie got older and her relationship with her Mum started to strain, she started to go to Danneel more and more for motherly advice and comfort. She's her go to person, along with Sebastian's mum, for things she wishes she could go to her mum about.

She's able to be vulnerable with Danneel in a way she can't be with Jensen or Sebastian.

"She's always been a pain in my ass" Maddie growls

"I know, I've met the women" Danneel reminds her

"She's gotten worse D, I can't talk to her at all anymore. She's always on the defensive... all because I told her I didn't want her and Dad to come after Travis"

"Maddie, I don't blame you for not wanting your mum there given the relationship you two have. You were so fragile, for months, and you did what you needed to do to get through it"

"She doesn't see it that way. She thinks it was a personal attack, that I wanted Seb and Jens over her. You should see what she said to me after the article D, she thinks I've been lying to her"

"About what?"

"God only knows. I love her but fuck me she stresses me out so much. She just went off at me for not coming home for a party that's in two days"

"Mads... I think you need to put some distance between the two of you, just for a bit"

"How's 10,000 miles?"

"God you're a smart ass"

"You love me" Maddie tells her, scrunching her nose up

"Yeah, I do" Danneel says with a small laugh as Maddie's phone goes off. She knows who it is, he has his own message and ring tone.

Maddie can't help but smile. They've been FaceTiming each other almost every night. Maddie looks forward to it all day. More than once she's actually fallen asleep talking to him because she's been exhausted from filming but refused to miss their call. Chris never minds. He knows she doesn't get as much sleep as she should.

He joked once that his voice must be calming and that's why she passes out on him mid conversation not realising that he's right. Maddie finds his voice comforting. Hearing him when she's curled up in bed, or any time really, makes her feels safe even though she's not with him. She sleeps so much better having heard his voice. The few nights they haven't spoken she's had nightmares.

"When are you seeing him next?" Danneel asks, knowing exactly who it is that just messaged

"Who?" Maddie asks, confused

"Jensen's right, you light up when he messages" Danneel says, repeating her husbands words

"Next week... for the whole week" Maddie tells her as a smile spreads across her face

"How did you guys pull that off?"

"I'm not filming for three weeks and he's in New York for work, so he's gonna stay with me"

"You're really excited aren't you?"

"Yeah"

"Jensen really likes him"

"Really?"

"Yeah... you wanna know what he said when he came home?"

"That depends on what he said"

"He said... ‘he's gonna be around for a long time, I can feel it’" Danneel tells her which makes Maddie smile again. Jensen hadn't really spoken to her about his opinion of Chris and knowing that he said that to Danneel makes Maddie so happy.

"...I hope so" Maddie whispers.

TAGLIST

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@littleone65

[goldentournesol]

Double Whammy

(Spencer Reid x Reader)

The one where Reader gets a nasty cold and is on her period at the same time, so Spencer takes care of her.

Length: 2.6k

A/N: thank you for the request @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ ! I enjoyed writing this one, IT’S SO FLUFFY! 

masterlist

Sometimes, the stars align and something favorable happens. Other times, the stars want nothing to do with each other and every possible thing that less than favorable happens. Unfortunately, the latter had been Y/N’s case for the past two days. She’d been fighting off a nasty, terrible cold. She didn’t get sick often, but when she did, it felt like her body’s main goal was to punish her for not being careful enough rather than heal itself. Her bones ached and her nose was blocked in a way that made her feel as though she’d never breathe properly again. On top of all that, her uterus made sure to be as unforgiving as possible as the dreaded time of the month rolled around. She could barely keep her eyes open as her body fought through the exhaustion that came with the double-whammy.

It was around 4 in the afternoon and Y/N had barely left the bed at all. She wished for some type of relief from her cramps but it just wasn’t coming. Her migraine wasn’t helping her out either. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had any water to drink. 

“Hello?” She croaked into the phone with a heavy cough. It came as a surprise to her that she even managed to let out a single word, although it sounded more like ‘bellow’ than ‘hello’.

“Y/N! How are you feeling today, my love?” Spencer’s chipper voice boomed through the speaker. 

“Not much better to be honest.” She murmured into the phone which was laying on the pillow that Spencer slept on, barely able to keep her puffy eyes open.  He heard her blow her nose and she uttered a small apology, knowing that must not have been pleasant to hear over the phone. He felt his heart twist in his chest, knowing she was feeling so under the weather and not be able to make her feel better.

He was currently on a case somewhere in the deserts of California. She hadn’t caught the cold yet when he left. She knew that he would have stayed with her if she’d caught it before he left, which would have made her feel like the biggest burden there was and she also knew that her boyfriend wasn’t the type to take no for an answer.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. But, I have great news. We closed the case, I’m getting on the jet now. I should be home in no time.” He says softly and she can feel a small smile fighting its way onto her face.

“That’s great, Spence…” she trailed off, losing more energy by the second, “Get home safe, love you.” 

“Love you more.” Spencer hung up and felt his shoulders drop in defeat before making his way back to his team as they climbed onto the jet. The guilt he felt for leaving her alone was overwhelming. He should be there for her, making her feel better. He knew she hated asking for help, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d taken care of herself at all. He guessed he’d find out soon enough.

It felt wrong walking in and finding their apartment void of any light or sound. Usually, there was some sort of noise or light coming from either a TV or a phone. He quietly made his way over to the bedroom and heard her snores. He sighed in relief, knowing she was at least resting. Spencer made his way over to the kitchen and figured she must have been starving. There was no evidence of any food or drink anywhere. He wondered when the last time she ingested something was. 

He made a quick call to Rossi, unsure of his cooking skills. He checked the fridge and pantry for the necessary ingredients and attempted to make chicken noodle soup with whatever they had available. He yawned as he cut up the vegetables, but quickly fought the sleep to continue cooking. He heard her soft snores stop and he peeked his head into the dark room again.

“Spence?” She managed to say softly, the thick covers muffling her voice. 

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m here.” He smiled as he approached their bed and turned on the lamp by their bedside. She winced at the sudden brightness and he quickly tried to block the light with his body to provide her eyes with some relief. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly as he took a seat at the edge of the bed. He took in her puffy eyes and red nose and wondered how she could still look so cute. Her bottom lip jutted out slightly and shook her head.

“I feel like absolute shit.” She mumbled and his heart dropped in his chest.

“Have you had anything to eat...or drink?” He bit his lip, already knowing the answer. She shook her head again softly, almost guilty. 

“Alright, I’m making you some soup. I think a hot shower will make you feel a lot better, Y/N/N. Come on, out of bed.” he tried to coax her with his hands. She only peered back at him over the duvet with tired eyes and small hands that wrapped around the edge of the duvet, Spencer found himself reveling in her adorable appearance and feeling bad about ruining her comfort, but he knew she probably stayed in bed all day. Spencer raised his eyebrows at her when she didn’t move. He smiled with relief when she didn’t fight him as he gently pulled back the covers from over her. 

“Come here, baby.” He motioned for her to come closer into his embrace. She slowly wrapped her arms around him and he lifted her out of bed, her legs locking behind his waist. He heard her sniffle into his neck as he carried her to the bathroom, he didn’t know whether she was crying or if it was just from the cold. He was too good to her, she didn’t know what she did to deserve such a compassionate partner, but she thanked the universe for allowing her to have him. Perhaps a tear or two managed to slip out of her eyes and into Spencer’s hair. Spencer turned his head slightly to press a kiss to her temple, murmuring into her hair, “I’ve got you, sweetheart.” He set her down as gently as he could and began to run the hot water.

“Okay, this should be perfect for decongesting your nasal pathways and loosening up the phlegm--” he stopped himself, knowing her head was probably pounding, “The soup should be ready by the time you finish your shower. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside.” He squeezed her shoulders and she sent him a tearful smile. 

As he closed the bathroom door, he took notice of a red patch of blood on the bed sheet on the mattress. He hastily checked his phone for the date and realized that her monthly visitor would be in fact--visiting. Spencer’s heart wrenched yet again as he could only imagine how horrible she really felt at the moment. He didn’t hesitate to change the sheets and clean the mattress of any remnants before neatly restoring order to the bed. He wanted to make sure she was taken care of, especially since he’d been away for so long. 

Somehow, he’d lost track of the pot that was currently boiling over the stove. He rushed to it, thankfully catching the pot right before it overflowed. He brought a spoon up to his lips and immediately winced at the lack of flavor. Spencer added some salt and continued to stir as he heard soft footsteps behind him. Y/N hugged his waist from behind silently and smushed her face against his back. Spencer smiled widely as he took the soup off the heat and swiveled around to wrap his arms around her. She noticed that he’d changed the sheets and made the bed and she honestly thought she was about to cry again.

“I missed you.” She mumbled into his shirt. Spencer kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back.

“I missed you way more. I’m so sorry for being away while you’ve been--” He began to apologize but was interrupted by her frantically shaking her head.

“No, no, no. Don’t apologize. I’m just glad you’re back.” The words barely made it past her lips, her voice hoarse. She lifted her head from his chest to gaze at him and they both adoringly stared at each other for a bit too long. He reluctantly pulled away from the embrace to ladle some soup into a bowl while it was still hot. He made himself a bowl as well since he hadn’t had any dinner. She sighed heavily as she sat at the kitchen table.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, setting the two bowls down.

“I...I don’t feel like eating.” She pouted again, Spencer knew this was the cold talking. 

“I don’t think you want to hear me list the benefits of soup when you have a cold.” Spencer teased, even though he knew she loved his info-dumps. She rolled her eyes playfully, smiling at him. “Besides, you haven’t eaten or drank anything in...judging by the color of your tongue and lips, around 16 hours. You need something in your system so you can take some medication to make you feel better, sweetheart.” He said as he hungrily spooned soup into his mouth. It really wasn’t that good, but it’d do the job.

She nodded, giving in and taking her first spoonful of soup. She giggled right after it.

“I know it’s not that good.” Spencer laughed.

“I didn’t say that!” She laughed back at him. She was happy to finally get out of the rut she was in and who would be able to do that better than Spencer? “Honestly, Spencer, it’s pretty good.”

“If you say so.” He grinned and took her hand over the table. They sipped their soup in a comfortable silence and she even got up to ladle a second helping of soup. It was the first thing she’d eaten in a while and her stomach appreciated the warmth.

“Do you need me to get you anything from the store?” he asked later as he put both their dishes away. He brought her some medicine for her cold and a cup of water, motioning for her to take them. He also made sure to make her some chamomile tea to help ease the cramps.

She nodded sheepishly, taking the medicine, “Chocolate.”

He laughed, fully expecting the response. “Alright, how about you set up a movie and drink your tea? I won’t take long.” He pressed a firm kiss to her forehead and walked towards the door.

“Spencer!” She called after him, sniffling again and wiping at her nose.

“Yeah?” He called back, slipping on his shoes.

“I also need pads!” She reminded him and he laughed.

“Okay, anything else?”

“Yes! I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He grinned as he made his way to the store.

She grabbed her cup of tea and plopped down onto the couch, setting up a movie that wouldn’t agitate her headache. As Spencer promised, he was back quickly. He changed into something comfortable and made his way over to the couch with her chocolate in his hand. She smiled gratefully as she unwrapped it and devoured half of it. Spencer could only watch with adoration.

“How is it?” he asked, watching her lick the corner of her lips, trying to get all the chocolate she possibly could.

“It’s the best thing I’ve had all day, Spence.” She threw herself in his arms, her head resting soundly on his chest, “Besides this, of course.” Spencer smiled as wide as he could as he rubbed her back. She pulled her head off his chest to stare at him in wonder.

“I will never get over how lucky I am to have you.” She whispered softly and Spencer resisted the tears threatening to rise in his eyes. He just sent her a watery smile and shook his head in disbelief, not trusting his words. He had no idea where he would even begin to describe how lucky he felt to have her. She placed a soft hand on the side of his neck to pull his cheek closer to kiss it, she would have kissed his lips but she didn’t want him to get sick. Her fingers threaded through his hair as she admired him. At this point, the movie was long forgotten, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to watch it.

“Hm, it’s getting long.” She twirled a piece around her fingers. Spencer nodded as he stared back at her.

“Do you...want to braid it?” He asked tentatively, instantly noticing how her face beamed at the idea. She’d always asked him if she could braid it for him but he always refused. But looking at her now, he’d let her do anything she wanted, especially if it meant making her feel better.

“Really?! You mean it? You’re not just offering because you pity me?” She squeaked excitedly.

“Well...that’s only part of it.” He laughed and rolled his eyes. She gasped and got up to walk to their bedroom to get a comb and some hair ties. This was the most energized she’d been since Spencer had seen her and he wasn’t about to deny that seeing her excited made it worth whatever was about to happen.

“Okay, you’re gonna have to sit on the floor. You’re too tall for me.” She said as she took her seat on the couch. Spencer moved to the floor and sat down between her legs. Her fingers threaded through his mop of curls and he instantly relaxed at her touch. She began to gently comb through his tangles, careful not to hurt him. He really didn’t mind, it brought him inexplicable peace, especially after a long day.

“Are you gonna fall asleep on me now?” She teased as she noticed his closed eyes and the way his head felt heavier against her hands.

“Mmm, I might.” He hummed.

She giggled and separated his hair into four sections, French braiding each one. It was nice to have a distraction. The only thing keeping Spencer’s head propped up was her knee and she thought he genuinely fell asleep until he felt the absence of her fingers in his hair.

“Are you done?” He asked quietly, his hand coming up to feel the braids. He took it as a yes when she didn’t smack his hand away. “Y/N, they feel so cool. I have to see.” He got up from his spot with a grunt and went into the bathroom to check himself out.

“I don’t think it suits me.” He laughed, unconvinced at his appearance. He brushed his teeth while he was at it. She laughed and shook her head in response, getting ready for bed as well.

“I personally think you look great! You should sleep with them in and we can see what your hair will look like in the morning.” She tried to reason with him, she just really didn’t want him to take them out so soon. He shook his head at her once again and turned the TV off with a huge yawn.

“Come on, Spence, let’s get in bed.” She grabbed his hand and took him to the bed. They instinctively wrapped their arms around one another.

Spencer whispered in her ear, “Are you feeling any better, sweetheart?”

She nodded against him, “Thank you, Spencer. I love you so much.” He smiled.

“I love you, more. Goodnight, Y/N.” She was already out like a light before she could respond.

[olivinesea]

Oooh fun! Okay, do you have any headcannons or thoughts on a dyslexic Hotch? I feel like I never see dyslexia with any characters really, and I like the idea of him with it. And if you do and you want to write something about it, a dyslexic Hotch with the team (and them being the supportive and protective family they are?) Thank you! ❤️

I hope you have fun, wherever/whatever you’re doing!!

I love this so much!! Thank you :) okay I don’t have much personal experience with dyslexia so hopefully I get this decently accurate. The biggest thing that surprised me when I was doing a quick search is that it isn’t actually a matter of reading words or letters backwards? It’s more an inability to connect letters to the appropriate sounds or to break words up into component parts; a general phonological awareness struggle.

So, as with many things, it seems to me to be a matter of slowing down, learning at your own pace. This ties in nicely with so many of my other Hotch thoughts, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. Idk what this is, it’s neither headcanon nor proper story but hopefully it’s something like what you were looking for:

When he’s a kid he gets called a slow learner due to his undiagnosed dyslexia. It was much less common to get that kind of diagnosis back then in general and I am sure his dad would have hated the idea of his son needing any kind of extra help. So he’s slow to speak, slow to learn how to read, has difficulty with numbers, absolutely hates being called on to read out loud because it’s actual torture and the other kids have no hesitation about laughing at him. So he becomes withdrawn, labeled a “bad kid,” stops trying because, fuck it, he never gets any kind of support, who cares right? It’s always a fight at home, he starts hiding his work, lying about his grades. This works for awhile bc his parents are distracted by other things. His problems are much bigger than grades by the time they do notice.

However, while he hates school and the way people talk about him and his struggles, like he isn’t even there, he discovers that he doesn’t hate learning. There’s a small library in town where he found he could hide out, no one bothering him for hours if he just sat still for with a book open. He was good at sitting still, at being invisible. But eventually a librarian notices that he’s always got the same book open, some sort of technical manual, that he is rarely turning the pages. She asks him if he likes what he’s reading. He’s just alarmed to be spoken to, afraid that being noticed means he will soon no longer have this sanctuary. He nods and tries to bluff his way through but it’s obvious he hasn’t read it, despite having looked at it for weeks straight. The librarian doesn’t say anything outright, just lets him be for now.

Next time she sees him she brings him a different book, a collection of Grimms fairy tales. He wants to complain that it’s for little kids but is too nervous to refuse it. She asks if she can read him her favorite story from it. It’s dark and twisted and fantastical and he can’t help but be drawn in by it. He’s sad when she’s done reading, wants to hear it again, to capture all the details to replay to himself later. She shows him where it starts, encourages him to read it himself. He doesn’t look at her bc he doesn’t want her to see how upset he is by that, already frustrated by the anticipation that he won’t be able to get through it. But she stays with him, helping him where he gets stuck, asking him questions about the story, making sure it’s making sense to him.

They slowly work their way through the whole collection over the course of months. They spend days on each story, repeating it until he’s confident, she never makes him feel like he’s taking too long or wasting her time. Sometimes has to reread a section multiple times, gets hung up on the language rather than the story but it’s okay, she gives him a notebook to copy down parts that spin too loudly in his mind, saving them and also releasing him from their hold so he can move forward. She lets him keep the book, tells him it was too old to stay in circulation anyway, they had a new copy on order already. She’s the first person who was patient with him, that showed him he could do it, he just needed a little more time, a little more practice than other kids.

In college this is part of why he spends so much time at the library. Part of it is his natural inclination to overwork himself, push until he’s given more than he can in hopes that it might be almost enough. He knows he’s never been enough, why would that change just because he’s in a new place? But the other part is he simply needs more time to get through the coursework, to make it through the excessive amounts of reading he’s assigned. Some other students don’t even bother to read but he would never do that, he makes sure that he not only reads every chapter assigned but he reads it again, takes notes, highlights, annotates, does everything in his power to be prepared. Sure he might work himself to the point of exhaustion, to the point where he makes himself sick (though he’ll try to deny that too) but he’s never caught trying to read something while others wait for his answer, the letters and sounds meaningless, slipping away from him faster the more eyes he feels turn towards him, wondering what could be taking so long. No one ever gets the chance to laugh at him for being slow in college, he never allows them to see that side of him.

As an adult, the leader of the BAU, he’s too well respected for anyone to dare laugh at him but he still hates feeling unprepared. This ends up looking like long nights in the office, reviewing case files to the point of memorization, so that he won’t have to read any of it in front of his team. He can if he has to, he’s developed skills over the years, ways to calm the panic that only makes it harder, can fake it well enough that no one would really notice. Until one day, distracted by a migraine and the fallout of some fight with Haley, he gets stuck. He can’t remember something and he tries to read the sentence that has the information but the stupid word just won’t resolve into sounds that make sense and he just stops talking. He’s glaring at the form like it might catch fire. No one says anything for a moment while he tries to refocus, tries to work around echoes of laughter, decades long past but always ready to jump out at him if he lets his guard down, allows a mistake, a tired moment to derail the image of perfect competence that he’s built around himself. Penelope jumps in, finishing the thought, completing the list of traits shared by the victims. He forces himself to smile at her because he really is grateful, it wasn’t her fault. She scrunches her nose at him, dismissing his silent thanks with a toss of her head. It was nothing, everyone needs a little assist now and then.

No one brings it up and he doubles his efforts not to let anyone see. But he’s so tired on the plane coming back from a case, he’s been staring the same forms for an hour at least. He can feel his ears turning red with frustration. There’s really no reason he has to do this now but the fact that his mind is refusing, almost seems to be teasing him, makes him dig in harder. Emily sits down opposite him, pulling the folder away without asking. He’s about to say something sharp, something he’ll regret saying to her when he really means it for himself, but the expression on her face is so odd, smiling with a frown between her eyebrows. It isn’t pity, she respects him far too much, but there is curiosity and something else, something soft.

“Drink with me.” She slides him a glass and they don’t talk, just look out the window, look at the light playing off the ice in their glasses. He doesn’t see the file again until it appears on his desk, every form neatly filled out, the places needing his signature flagged. All but the last spot, where she’s signed his name eerily perfectly, difficult for even him to see that it’s not his own. Just so he knows she can if she wants to. Equal parts offer and threat.

Penelope and Reid start a book club. Derek joins right away. Emily rolls her eyes when she’s invited, muttering something about spending her free time on more work but they know she will join. Rossi flat out refuses to read the books but offers his house for meetings. Hotch hesitates, wanting to say yes but nervous to commit to an activity like that. He loves books, loves to talk about books. He doesn’t love a time limit on books.

The next time they have to drive to a case, Derek puts on a copy of the audiobook. It’s the first time they make it to a destination without any bickering from the backseat. They don’t get through the whole thing but later he finds a copy of the audiobook on his desk, complete with a disc player and headphones.

A different month, Reid tells him about how his mother always used to read him books and somehow finesses an offer to read to Hotch without him even realizing he’s accepted it. So Spencer comes in to Hotch’s office on lunch breaks occasionally and reads to him whatever the book of the month is. He loves it, remembering the first person who read to him, how shocked he’d been to be treated with patience, with understanding and wondering how he got so lucky to be surrounded by people like her, so ready to support him, wanting him there with them rather than off alone, uselessly fighting with himself to prove his self sufficiency over some uncooperative letters.

Okay, that was so much more than I was planning on but here we are. I hope you liked it and thank you SO much for the idea. If you ever have any others you want to share I am totally here for it. :)

Send me requests!

[katherinewilliams221b]

For A Greater Good 15/18

not my gif just the text. Origins

Summary: Kate Williams, young healer and member of the Order, joins Durmstrang’s staff at Dumbledore’s request. Her mission? Find a   Death Eater and survive long enough to tell the story. Set in 1996.

Pairing: Charlie Weasley x ofc/mc

Masterlist

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

[Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10]

[Part 11] [Part 12] [Part 13] [Part 14]

--

Her pulse failed every time she held a quill to write to Charlie; her eyes stung whenever she closed them. At one point she started to feel a constant pressure on her right temple, and it didn’t abandon her during the next weeks that followed her discoveries.

Kate lay on her side in bed, with her arms tucked against herself, protecting the cursed paper that was causing her nightmares, and curled up in a ball. That was her default position every day since then.

She stared at the candle on her table, the only source of light in the room and in her mind. The fire danced and twisted, hypnotising, captivating.

She thought of being somewhere else, with someone else.

What kind of person you must be to fool one of the greatest wizards alive? Dumbledore wasn’t any saint of her devotion, but… he must have known, right? He had to… or perhaps not.

Her breathing was slow and even, she concentrated on it; in and out. In and out. If she kept her eyes opened they stung, but if she closed them… it was worse.

And just like every other night, the candle consumed itself, leaving Kate in total darkness.

“Don’t give up hope.” She had told her students when they saw that none of the umbrella flowers had teeth. “We still have time.”

“We don’t have time! Exams start on Monday and the AEDA is in less than two weeks from now!” Jon had exclaimed.

“What have we done wrong?” Greta had asked.

“Focus on your exams. Remember that you can have your notebook with the greenhouse notes, so make sure it’s complete. I’ll take care of the flowers.”

She didn’t know how. The migraines had intensified, the parchment she hid under her uniform burned her skin every day, every hour, it was a reminder that she had to get out of there as soon as possible. But she had made a promise, and she had to keep it: those plants would have teeth like her name was Kate Williams.

And there, lying in bed unable to see around her, she discovered what had gone wrong with her project: Dark Arts.

After that revelation, Kate went to the library daily to visit the botany section. Corentin deliberately avoided her, being aware of the rumours about them. They had spent a lot of time together these past few months, and inevitably, the castle residents would wonder why.

Deaf to the gossip, the bat kept one eye on the library and one on Kate. Unaware that her friend had her back from above, the young witch devoured pages and pages about crossbreeding, the only activity that kept her from thinking about the list.

 The day before the Herbology exam, Kate was sitting at her usual table going over all the ingredients for the potion she had found. With Jorgensen's help, maybe she could grow those fangs.

Voices made her look up. Before long, an unusual commotion where they were standing deafened those looking for a quiet study area.

She saw Corentin, in his bat form, swiftly descending towards the shouting, and followed his path with her eyes. Two of her students, Vivien and Jon, were arguing heatedly, surrounded by their friends. The librarian didn't have to say a word; he just transformed into a human right in the middle of the two, glaring disapprovingly at them until the children dispersed.

Unwilling to perform her duties as an authority figure and scold her students for misbehaviour, she dipped her quill into the inkwell and began copying down the ingredients she would need. She had barely written two of them when movement out of the corner of her eye distracted her.

At a glance she recognised Vivien, who was deep in thought, and pulled a book out of her backpack grumbling to herself. The girl dropped it on the table with a thump.

"Has he been bothering you?" Kate couldn't help but ask. She didn't look up from the page she was reading. She managed to catch a few words in Vivien's mind, but they blended into each other in a swirl of acidity.

"He's been hounding me all week to study with him. He won't leave me alone." Kate put down the quill then and watched as Vivien pretended to read. "I hope after this he gets the idea."

"He won't bother you anymore today." Kate said after a while, "Remember the exam will be in class 82. You'll do fine." Vivien nodded as Kate gathered her belongings.

After asking Corentin's permission to take the book, she walked over to the table where Jon Hopkins was ogling Vivien in the distance, surrounded by his friends.

"Gather your things," she said without greeting, "You've found a study partner."

The boy looked at her as if she had six arms and as a protest began to form on his lips, Kate interrupted him, "It's non-negotiable. Come on, I don't have all day."

The group around Jon pitied their friend as he reluctantly advanced in front of the young teacher outside the library.

"I have to study." He complained as they made their way down the hallway.

"You will accompany me to see Professor Jorgensen and then to the greenhouse. You will study there while I experiment."

"What if I don't want to study?" He challenged. Kate just shrugged.

"Much better. You'll help me with my duties in the greenhouse and with the umbrella flowers. I recommend you find the will to study. I have a lot to do today."

"But why?"

"Maybe then you'll understand what it feels like to have unwanted company."

 Kent Jorgensen gave Kate the ingredients without complaint. She had expected more resistance from him, had even prepared a speech to get the professor to agree, but it hadn't been necessary. She supposed he would want to maintain some diplomacy between them with a gesture that wouldn't set off the time bomb that could destroy professor Angelov's career and life.

Once in the greenhouse, Jon sat in the seat furthest away from her and leaned his elbows on the table pretending to read his notes while Kate waved her wand back and forth.

An array of pots, bottles and boxes surrounded her and with a sigh she set about preparing her potion.

The concoction was composed of a mixture of compounds of both plant and animal origin that Kate had never used before and when mixed together, it flooded the greenhouse with a putrid smell.

After two hours, a small explosion of a suspicious liquid, one miscalculation and several incorrect consistencies, Kate managed to obtain the muddy-looking concoction, which she had to leave to steep for fifteen minutes. It was time for the key part of the process: introducing the desired characteristic into the potion.

Jon looked up from his notebook wearily and watched in disgust as Kate cleaned the inside of a geranium's mouth before pulling a fang out of one of them with forceps.

"Why did you say 'sorry' to it?" The boy asked. Kate looked at him in confusion, waiting for him to elaborate further. "You apologised to the geranium." Kate tsked.

"Well, I just knocked his tooth out. He must not have been amused." She set the tusk down in a glass bowl and proceeded cleaning her workbench.

"You're strange... I mean..." Jon stammered out a few words at the look on Kate's face, who misinterpreted her frown as anger. "It's just... you're good. And kind. Like Professor Mawut." Kate smiled.

"Thank you very much, Jon." She raised an eyebrow and added, "But you're not getting rid of me today." He pursed his lips and returned to his notes.

Movement through the glass of the greenhouse caught her attention and squinting she caught a glimpse of Mer Yankelevich hurrying over the bridge towards the forest. Libor Marek was at her heels.

Marek grabbed the teacher's arm and something he said stopped her in her tracks. After a while, Mer released her grip and retraced her steps towards the castle, leaving Marek watching her from a distance.

"Professor Marek is very brutish." Jon commented, having seen the scene as well. Kate tilted her head, agreeing with the comment, and proceeded to grab the fang with a pair of tweezers. She dipped it into the potion and waited as the tooth disintegrated on contact.

"What do you think of Professor Yankelevich?" She asked absently. Jon grimaced and shrugged.

"She's okay, I guess. She's been pretty angry lately, though."

"Angry with you?" Jon shrugged again. He glanced over to where the two teachers had been having the conversation and turned back to Kate. "Professor Marek has been arguing with her a lot," he whispered, "I don't know why... it's almost lunchtime..."

"Great. I'll finish this and we'll eat together." Jon let out a frustrated sigh and rested his head on his fist. "We shouldn't pry into their business." Kate grimaced hearing herself say that.

She swirled the potion with her wand six times to the left and then eleven times to the right. With each twist, the liquid grew thicker and thicker until it hardened so much that the wand had become trapped inside. But she was not to let go of it, no. The instructions clearly stated that there had to be contact with the wizard for at least five minutes.

Practically breathless, she watched as the stone began to crack from the centre of the wand, slowly breaking into a brown powder. She sighed in relief at the desired result and wiped her wand on her overalls.

After adding water, the end result was a bowl of what appeared to be, but nothing could be further from the truth, soil.

She excitedly sprinkled some of it on all the pots of umbrella flowers, and after watering them, covered them all with a leather tarp.

"Tomorrow we'll know if it worked."

 --

Kate watched her students work through the test she had prepared for them. After nearly an hour and a half, she stood up to relieve her stiff muscles. She walked between the rows of children sitting individually and checked out of the corner of her eye that they were only looking at their parchment. A small, fleeting smile broke out on her face, proud to see that most of the pupils were writing with admirable concentration. Some of them, like Micael Angelov, had supplemented their writing with small sketches.

When she reached the end of the class, she went the other way and leaned against the door.

“You have fifteen minutes left,” she remarked, glancing at the clock.

Young Angelov was the first to stand up. Securing his backpack over one shoulder, he handed the parchment to Kate with a shy smile.

“How did it go?” She checked that he’d written his name and looked up waiting for his response.

“Pretty good.”

Kate nodded with a smile and stepped away from the door to make way for him. A voice whispered her name behind her back and Vivien appeared to hand her her exam paper. Kate repeated the question.

“Very good! It was easy... although I didn’t remember you were going to ask about our herbarium... but I was able to answer them. Professor Williams, are you coming to the Glow-bug shower?”

“What’s that?” she whispered, indicating to Vivien to do the same.

“Professor Rhode explained to us that every year thousands of glow-bugs appear and light up all the mountains. It’s Thursday night. According to her, it’s very exciting.”

 Apparently, Astrid was right. In her healer’s uniform, spelled to withstand the cold, and her hood hiding her ears and forehead, Kate made her way through the crowd in one of the castle towers. She found a gap near the stone wall overlooking the quidditch pitch and rested her hands on the stone.

It was the one night of the year when students were allowed to roam the castle at midnight, on the occasion of the very particular event that was about to take place.

She raised her hand to her neck, adjusting her cloak to protect herself from the cold, and looked up. A blanket of infinite dots stretched above them. The stars guarded the terrain from high above, and with no clouds, they were perfectly visible from any point. Despite the voices and the shouting, there was something about watching the sky that left Kate in awe and isolated from the rest of the world.

She took a deep breath, imagining Charlie next to her, stretched out, side by side on the lawn of the Burrow, hands casually brushing and competing to prove who had been paying more attention in Astronomy.

“It’s bright out tonight,” a low, husky voice brought her back to the present, “At least it’s not a full moon, in which case they’d be unnoticeable.”

She looked down to find Professor Marek standing next to her. She raised her eyebrows, “I didn’t think seeing glow-worms would interest you, Professor.”

“There are many things that interest me, Miss Williams, not just winning duels.” he replied in a monotone voice. “I didn’t know you‘d be interested in this sort of thing... always stuck in that greenhouse of yours with dirt on your fingers. Have you had enough of flowers and leaves?”

Kate huffed, but didn’t take the bait. She merely averted her gaze to her left, where another tower of the castle contained the same number of people as there were around her. Marek also looked around, but didn’t move his feet from the ground. Kate suspected she would have an escort during the event. The question was, why?

The torches on the stone walls around them suddenly went out, raising the murmurs and impatient exclamations of the children. Kate and Marek turned their heads as they heard Professor Yankelevich’s shriek, pleading for silence.

“I remember you were good with protective spells,” challenged Marek

“I can defend myself.” The professor nodded and looked at the tower next door waiting for the signal. A light from a wand announced the teachers were ready to begin.

“We’re going to create a bubble around us, make sure it’s not too high.”

Numerous wands rose into the air, coming from different parts of the castle. A silvery layer began to form over their heads, spreading at full speed through the air from the highest point of the castle to the ground. Once every stone and corner of the place was encircled, the colour of the dome faded until it was completely transparent, invisible to the human eye.

There was a collective urge to hold one’s breath. The anticipation was beginning to be palpable, and even Kate noticed how her body leaned forward, as if to concentrate better.

A tiny spark came into view in the mountains. It was an intense white light, but very small, so small that after a few seconds it disappeared. The general disappointment dissipated as dozens of lights began to scatter in the distance, then hundreds, and before long, the stars seemed noticeably extinguished by the cascade of glow worms drifting in the wind.

Kate had only ever seen one glow worm in her life; in a Care of Magical Creatures class where Kettleburn had brought one inside a jar to show how some people used to use them as lamps. The problem was, and also the reason the teachers conjured up a protective bubble, glow-bugs were deadly.

“Takes your breath away, doesn’t it?” commented Marek without looking away.

She nodded, mouth half-open, gawking at the scene before her eyes; the glow-worms were slowly approaching through the air, carried by the breeze to their heads. The creature comprised a transparent shell that resembled the shape of a Muggle light bulb. Inside was the worm, curled in on itself and emitting an incandescent light.

Several of them bounced off the invisible barrier, creating an almost hypnotic effect on the onlookers. The entire castle was under such a blinding spotlight everyone was forced to squint or shield themselves with their hands.

The worms had scattered within moments; some had strayed into the forest, some into the mountains, and the rest had descended the cliffs, leaving the castle in its usual gloom.

Kate turned to Marek the moment the torches were lit again. A particular, never-before-seen gleam decorated the professor’s eyes, which, as the seconds passed, transformed his gaze into a deep, watery unhappiness.

Marek pulled himself together quickly and as much as Kate longed to know the reason for such emotion, she kept her mouth shut and waited patiently for some dry, cutting remark to ease the tension.

“I don’t know my parents. They died when I was very young.” He proclaimed instead. She stood still, afraid to shoo him away like a bird perching in one’s window to say hello. Despite there being so many people around them, the rest of the teachers were ordering them back to the dormitories, giving them some ironic privacy. Marek was staring off into the distance, “But I have a memory, a very vivid one, of a situation like this. It’s like an anniversary for me, I don’t know what, but that’s how I see it.”

A cruel idea flashed through her mind, one that she was dying to spit in his face, but for the sake of their diplomatic relationship she held back inside her. Her eyes began to burn, and she cursed to herself for being so emotional lately. She carved a frown into her forehead to keep her tears from spilling.

“My adoptive parents never knew where I got such a story...”

“And despite...” she couldn’t hold back, her words would be hurtful and she knew it, but she blurted them out to his face all the same, “And despite not knowing your origins, which may well be non-magical, you make a point of despising those who are different from you. You could be a muggleborn.”

Marek peeled his eyes from the mountains and looked at her with his characteristic sternness. The facade had returned to his face and his heart was shut tight.

“No,” he hissed, “my blood is clean.”

Mer Yankelevich was pushing the last student into the building when he made eye contact with Kate. Surely she had been watching the entire exchange, she thought.

Professor Jorgensen appeared through the door at that instant, averting his gaze to Kate and Marek and then to Mer, intermittently. He closed the door behind him and both professors approached them.

“You’ll never be completely sure of that.” Kate shook her head at his comment, wondering why she’d been so concerned about his feelings. The professor turned sharply and without a goodbye, stomped off to enter the castle and disappeared from sight.

“Is Libor all right?” asked Yankelevich.

“He looks really obfuscated, but that’s usual.”

Kate took a step back, suddenly feeling irrationally cornered.

“He’s been acting strangely for some time now, and an unpredictable Libor can be dangerous.” said Mer.

Jorgensen turned to her, “To my mind, Libor is not an irrational creature...”

“Believe me, I know him well. We should stay away from him for a while, let him clear his head.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Professor,” Kate said, a little upset. Mer walked over to her, holding her gaze.

“If you spend more time with us, you’ll understand that it’s better to give Libor his space. By the way, the year is coming to an end. Will you still be the Herbology teacher next year? From what I hear, Rhode is thrilled with you.”

“And so are the kids.” Jorgensen pointed out, also interested in knowing Kate’s response.

“I haven’t discussed it with Rhode yet...”

“But you’d like to stay on?” insisted Yankelevich.

“It’s been an interesting opportunity, of course, but...” The conversation was entering swampy territory and as eloquent as Kate could be, she was struggling to find the right words. In the end, following her mother’s advice, she opted to speak a truth. “I’m very lonely.”

“Ah,” nodded Jorgensen, “That’s the effect Durmstrang can have, yes. I bet you’re eager to get home as soon as possible, wherever that is.” Kate nodded slowly, recognising a small, complicit smile on the professor’s face, making her remember their talk months ago.

“Exactly.”

Yankelevich hummed, inspecting Kate closely. Uncomfortable with the interrogation and impatient to regain the safety of her room, she said a hasty goodbye and headed for the door leading to the stairs, leaving Jorgensen and Yankelevich in the starlight.

--

[Part 16]

A/N: Not a very exciting chapter I know, but still important. The end is near my friends.

--

Tag List: @eldritchscreech @meteora-fc​

@cazreadsstuff 

@the-navistar-carol​

@am-i-space​

[jaxsteamblog]

I’ll Save You from the Pirates

Click here to read the entire fic on AO3

Katara made sure everything was zipped and buttoned before stepping out of the small control building. She was grateful for the early morning survey trip; being in the South Pole brought in a lot of things too close for comfort.

The village she had selected for the initial drilling was on the northern side of the mountains watched over her childhood. On an especially clear day in summer, it was possible to see the far distant peaks of the Air Nation archipelago.

Or else, that’s what she assumed those smudges on the horizon were.

Shaking her head, Katara forced a smile at the workers waiting for her at the dock. She assumed she had a touch of midnight sun sickness, since her body was used to the perpetual darkness of the northern winter at the moment. Even with the new simulated nighttime, Katara was not adjusting as quickly as she had hoped.

It made her head feel like a balloon despite her body feeling sluggish.

“Shall we?” Katara asked, looking from man to man. They were unfamiliar to her, but so were many of the people she met in the South Pole.

The only time she had ever left her village was the once. And she hadn’t properly returned from that trip.

A lifetime ago, Katara had stepped onto a different sort of rickety boat. This one was made of metal, required some sort of crew to operate, and was probably more likely to survive a squall in the open ocean.

But her head still rocked violently when she was fully onboard.

“Gum, Majesty?” One of the men offered. Katara smiled in a closed lipped, queasy sort of way. Taking the thin rectangle of foil, her fingertips felt numb while unwrapping it. The gum was a pale pink, like the meat of any arctic fish.

That image didn’t help her head.

Her jaw worked slowly, feeling the gum nearly disintegrate between her teeth. The flavor was odd, but there was enough mint to calm her a bit.

Sitting on a box of supplies, Katara looked over the edge as the ship pulled away from the dock. The Beifong representative had been complaining of pirates for weeks. Small, quick boats that harassed their supply ships. Usually the attacks were pointless; the expensive equipment had been installed months ago. But medical supplies, shelf stable food, and other minor sundries were beginning to add up on the list of pirated goods.

Fire Nation engineers weren’t bothered by the pirates. Many of them were former military and were not at all subtle over their wish to interact with sea bandits.

Not to be inferred as wanting to fight Water Tribals of course, your Highness.

They were a congenial sort, in their own way.

As they continued on, Katara rubbed her eyes. A migraine was building at her forehead and she called up the cold water to attempt to heal it.

The brain was tricky, and sometimes she had trouble healing herself as she often didn’t think it was bad enough to worry over. Pressure pounded, but the pain stayed as that cloudy prophecy of worse to come.

In her mouth, the gum quickly lost its flavor, so Katara spat out the wad into her palm. The pink was long gone, and the wrinkled gray lump looked foul.

“What even was that?” She muttered and turned around. The man who offered her the gum was standing next to her, a bag in his hands.

Thinking it was trash, Katara moved to shake out the used gum.

The bag went over her head.

When she came to, the sun was setting. This meant two things: that she had been unconscious for a very long time and that they were no longer in South Pole waters.

And noting that she was also in a straight jacket, bound to a tree, Katara figured she was in the Earth Kingdom.

The pirates, as she assumed them to be, were near enough by that Katara could see them at their small fire. The light faded before it got to her, and so she couldn’t make out faces or words.

Looking around, and trying to shift into a comfortable position, Katara knew she was in the woods and far from the ocean. The straight jacket kept her arms and hands from bending, and her legs were shackled tightly together.

Rohan had told her stories about how the late King Bumi could earthbend by wriggling his eyebrows, but Katara wasn’t that skilled. Yet.

Sighing, Katara looked back at the fire.

Historical pirates had been her people, but they were effectively wiped out during the war. Airbender Bumi had created his Sky Pirates, and now they had been replaced by Earth Kingdom citizens. A counterclockwise Avatar cycle.

Bound and still feeling sick, the night air was at least steadying her senses. But she really didn’t know what to do next.

And yet, she really didn’t feel the need to plan. The situation almost made her feel calm. It took the sudden figure behind her to tell her why.

“I’ll save you from the pirates.” A soft voice whispered into her ear.

Katara snorted, turning it into a sneeze in case she was overheard. She was, and one of the pirates got up to investigate.

“Oh no. A ruffian approaches. Whatever shall I do.” Katara said robotically.

The man frowned as he neared.

“Don’t think of calling for help.” He said.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Katara replied and smiled broadly.

“You think something’s funny? I’d like to see you try your bending now.” He said.

“Neither of us needs bending to kick your ass.” The shadowed man said.

The pirate straightened just as the hilt of a sword smashed into the side of his head. The man collapsed as his assailant moved into the dusky light.

The blue oni mask sent electricity through Katara’s veins.

“Let me help you out.” Zuko said, crouching next to her and slicing through the straps.

“You might want to focus on them.” Katara said, wiggling out of the restraint.

Zuko stood and turned, separating his dual swords and rotating his wrists to loosen them.

“Be right back my love.” He said and darted forward.

Katara watched as closely as she could, shoulder off the straightjacket. Zuko moved quickly, as he always did, and many of the pirates were unable to even reach their guns. Those that did nearly lost a hand before Zuko knocked them prone.

To her surprise, there was an actual Earthbender among the group and Katara wondered if she should intervene. She was working on the shackles on her ankles when the cannonball of earth slammed Zuko into a tree. But the Blue Spirit leapt back onto his feet and kicked debris into the Bender’s face. By the time Katara snapped off the frozen metal, the Bender was face down on the ground.

Zuko paused to put out the small fires made when he kicked their cook fire before walking back to Katara. He held out his hand to help her up and she dusted off the back of her pants as he sheathed his unified sword.

“How did you get here so quickly?” She asked.

“Sokka helped.” He explained.

“But this?” Katara questioned, gesturing to his costume.

“I had plans.”

“Plans?” She stepped in close, running her fingers along the edge of his mask. “Did it involve a veil?”

“For you it involved only veils.” He answered, putting a warm hand on her lower back.

“KATARA!” A man’s voice bellowed and they jumped apart.

“My dad?” Katara choked out.

“It would make sense that others would be responding to this incident, yes.” Zuko said stoically, like he was also just realizing this.

“You need to go.” She hissed, shoving at Zuko’s side.

“Where?” He whispered back. “I don’t really know where I am!”

“KATARA!” Hakoda called again, much closer now.

“They can’t see you! You’re a wanted man!” Katara continued to shove, but Zuko didn’t move.

“My boat is that way!” He said, pointing past her to where Hakoda’s voice had come.

“KATARA!” Hakoda sounded desperate, and it actually raked at Katara.

“You have to get-” She stopped as she heard multiple people run into the clearing.

“GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!” Hakoda yelled. Katara turned, spreading her arms wide.

“He saved me dad!” She yelled back.

Hakoda halted and looked around. Seeing the very recent carnage, Hakoda made quick gestures. The others with him ran forward, securing the unconscious pirates.

“Who are you?” Hakoda asked cautiously, walking slowly up to them.

“This is the Blue Spirit. I’ve actually met him before, during the war.” Katara explained haltingly. She lowered her arms and glanced upward. “He’s….mute?”

“Well then.” Hakoda was awkward and his words were just as fumbled. “Thank you.”

He then made a sort of pained face, tilting his head slightly. “Are you really a spirit?”

“Probably not.” Katara said and heard Zuko huff behind his mask.

“At least, the Fire Nation thinks he’s just some traitor.” She added.

“I haven’t much cared for the opinion of the Fire Nation.” Hakoda muttered and Katara frowned.

“But I thank you for rescuing my daughter.” He continued. “Man or not, I must thank you properly for your help. It’s my duty as a chief, and a father.”

As Katara started to protest, Zuko moved from behind her and bowed. It was a modified gesture from the typical Fire Nation salute. It was meant to show respect to other nations.

“Great, now we can see what a spirit eats.” Katara growled, her jaw clenched.

“You know, we should hope he is a spirit.” Hakoda said as they started to walk in the direction Katara assumed the boats had moored.

“Why’s that?” Katara asked in exasperation, knowing Zuko would want to ask himself.

“You said you’ve met before. I don’t think the Fire Lord would appreciate the competition.��� Hakoda finished.

Zuko huffed again and Katara sighed.

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[cali-holland]

How Perfect You Are- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: After a rough day, Tom’s there to cheer you up.

Word Count: 1600

Warnings!!: cyberbullying, mentions of anxiety, self-image issues/slut shaming

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a couple months now, and it was written way before the rumors (because nothing has been confirmed by him yet) of Tom having a girlfriend. Respect Tom’s privacy and do not send hate to him or any of the people he is connected to, romantically or otherwise.

~~~

It was a rough day. Like a really rough day.

It seemed like every single uni assignment was due this week, and work was just the worst. You had a raging migraine, and your boss even offered to call someone in early to cover you, but you refused. You needed the hours, you needed the money, you didn’t need the constant searing pain on the top of your skull like someone was trying to pierce through it with a knife.

But you pushed through until you got home. The house was silent, just like the past few nights whenever you arrived home. Tom knew you had a lot of school work to do, so he tried to stay clear of your way. Earlier this week, he attempted to keep to himself in the living room while you worked in your shared room, but he found himself wandering into the bedroom periodically. He had been away filming for months, only to return during one of the most stressful parts of your school year- midterms. He just wanted to hold you, be with you in any way he could, but that was just distracting you and he knew it.

So he made himself busy at Harrison’s place for a few hours every night. It gave you enough time to buckle down and focus on your work, with him coming home shortly before the two of you went to bed. It was hard, but midterms were a bitch and Tom wasn’t about to help you with your fifteen page paper among other essays. 

When the clock struck 11 pm, you knew Tom would be home soon and that you should probably stop working in a sad attempt to help your migraine. You changed into your pajamas (which consisted of one of Tom’s t-shirts and your own pajama shorts) and continued to go through your nightly routine. Laying down in the king-size bed, you snuggled down into the warm sheets. As tired as you were, you couldn’t fall asleep until Tom came home, knowing he’d be on his way shortly- after all, Harrison’s home wasn’t far from yours.

Waiting in your comfortably warm bed, you began to scroll through Instagram, wondering what you could have missed in the endless hours of you being offline for studying and work. You smiled to yourself when you realized Harrison had a saved Instagram live posted. Your smile grew even wider once you clicked on it and Tom appeared on the screen beside him. The time stamp of the video showed it was from an hour ago.

They were goofing about, being their normal selves and answering some questions from the comments. One question in particular caught your attention as a fan asked if you and Tom were still together- wow, so much for privacy.

“Yes, we are. She’s studying right now, working very, very hard. I love her loads, so yeah, of course we’re still together.” Tom laughed, almost disbelieving a fan would actually ask such an oddly invasive question. As Harrison continued on and answered another question, you began to read the comments that were drifting over the screen.

‘Can’t believe Tom’s still dating her’,‘They’ve got to be fake- there’s no way Tom would date someone like her’, ‘Tom’s really got bad taste’, the comments kept coming through for the next few minutes. Your eyes shifted to rest on Tom’s face, who seemed rather unbothered, like he hadn’t been reading those hurtful words that not only mocked him, but you and your relationship as a whole.

The live didn’t last long after that. You were grateful that there were no more questions about you specifically. Tom would mention you here and there, but he always did that. You were his favorite thing to talk about (except maybe, you were tied with Tessa) and so he struggled to not constantly gush over you. 

You both knew when you started dating, almost 2 years ago now, that you’d be opening your life up to criticism. You were all for bettering yourself and hearing the opinions of other people, but that was with constructive criticism to help you become a better person, not crazy fans that hated you for no legitimate reason. It was definitely a challenge, but you kept your social media all private, only allowing people you know to follow you, like any normal 23 year old would do. Tom tried to keep his posts of you to a minimum, just sometimes he couldn’t help it. He loved you, and he wanted to show you off to the world; however, he did acknowledge the uncomfortable position it put you in.

It wasn’t like you hated his fans, no you loved them. There were some, though, that you didn’t appreciate, and you felt justified feeling that way. They were just upset over seeing their idol be “taken” by you- at least, that’s what you told yourself. You constantly had to remind yourself that no, you were not fat like they said; no, you were not stupid like they said; no, you were not ugly like they said; no, you were not undeserving of Tom like they said. You were you, and you were a great person, you liked yourself.

That was the mindset most nights, but tonight was not one of those nights.

Everything was stressing you out, your anxiety certainly was not in check. Those comments did nothing to improve your mental state, and yet you still found yourself on Tom’s account, looking at the pictures he had up of you, looking at the comments underneath them specifically.

‘Attention whore’, ‘cover up slut’, ‘her dress looks like vomit’, ‘why is Tom dating her’, ‘she doesn’t deserve him’, ‘their relationship cannot be real’. Each comment stung, yet you couldn’t pull yourself away from reading through them over and over again. Your vision began to get blurry from the tears that had welled up in your eyes. You rubbed your eyes, trying to hold yourself together, and threw the phone away from you- you didn’t care where it landed, it just couldn’t be near you.

“Ow!” Tom shouted, and you immediately removed the hand from covering your eyes.

“Tom?” Your voice came out as more of a pathetic squeak. He turned on the light and you could see he was rubbing his knee, where you assumed your phone had hit him.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just got in.” He said, placing your phone on the bed and beginning to change into his own pajamas.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. My bad.” You mumbled. You picked your phone up and took one last look at the Instagram comments.

“Is everything alright?” Tom asked. He turned off the lights and got into bed beside you under the covers. You wordlessly shrugged a little and set your phone on the nightstand beside you. Tom wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer into his warm, bare chest. His brown eyes softened, sensing something was wrong. “What’s going on, love?”

“I’m just stressed.” You replied quietly.

“I know when you’re ‘just stressed’. Something else is bothering you. What is it? You can tell me.” He frowned, his hand coming up to move a few loose hairs out of your face before he rested it on your neck with his thumb gently rubbing your jaw.

“I feel like the whole world hates me. School’s awful, work’s awful. And you get to go hang out with Harrison while I’m drowning in just work, and I feel like a bad girlfriend because you want to spend time with me, but I don’t have time for anything. And then, I go online and I just see all this hate. I know that they’re your fans and you love them, but it’s just so draining. I can’t handle it.” The tears were freely flowing from your eyes at this point. Tom shifted so that you could cry into his chest, and he held you tightly, reassuringly caressing your back as he did so.

“Hey, I love you, more than anything in the world. Don’t feel bad that you can’t spend time with me right now. Midterms and work- that’s your life right now. You’ve always waited for me, so I’m going to wait for you. As long as I get to come home and see your beautiful face every night, I’m perfectly content.” He paused and let out a small sigh, “And as for my fans, I’m sorry. I wish they could just understand. I love you, you are my girlfriend, our relationship is real, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Nothing that they say about you is true. Now, who is the most beautiful, kind-hearted, mesmerizing, brilliant woman I know?”

“Your mum.” You said, muffled by his chest.

“Who? I can’t hear you.” Tom teased. You pulled back to look at him. Despite the dark room only being illuminated by the moonlight creeping through the window and the alarm clock perched behind you, you could still see his kind smile as he looked at you. “Don’t say my mum. Come on, who is it?”

“I am.” You replied, unable to stop the small smile that crept its way onto your face as Tom nodded encouragingly.

“You are the most beautiful, kind-hearted- what else did I say?” He paused with a laugh, realized he’d forgotten his own words.

“Mesmerizing, brilliant?”

“Mesmerizing, brilliant woman I know. There’s just too many adjectives to describe just how perfect you are, darling.”

“I love you.” You smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him.

“I love you, too.”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex​ @theamazingtomholland​ @hellomoveonby​ @heyitsshrez @tomkindholland​

Tom Tag List: @quaksonhehe

[ghostxofxartemis]

John x Ashley: hugging for too long?

Thank you for submitting this amazing prompt! Not only did I manage to get a birthday fic done for John, I also managed to fit this in! From this prompt list!  Fic also available on AO3.

A huge thank you to @bardofheartdive for beta reading for me! You are simply amazing! 

Happy Birthday, Shepard!

Shepard is sitting at his desk in his cabin in the Normandy SR1. His chair is hard, uncomfortable, his back is sore, though that’s the least of his concerns; he feels like it should be Anderson in here and not him. His mind is unfocused, his thoughts keep going back to their mission on Feros a few days ago. The Thorian still churns his stomach as he remembers how it was controlling the colonist. It’s not the only thing keeping him distracted, there is an awful lot of commotion coming from the mess hall just outside his cabin, making it difficult to finish his report from their mission on Elatania this morning; those space monkeys were just a pain in the ass to deal with. Having Ashley and Liara giggle away at him while on all fours didn’t exactly help with his mood either.  He’s certainly not feeling like someone who spent months and months on end through a grueling program to achieve N7, but more like a serviceman grunt at this moment. 

"What in the devil's work is going on?!"

Frustrated, he flicks his stylus onto his desk, then stands up, makes his way to his door and steps into the mess hall. He’s not one to usually lose his temper, but the persistent migraine he’s had the last past two days after receiving the cypher on Feros has been driving him insane. The commotion was just making it worse, souring his mood that much more. 

There is an unusually large crowd, most of whom should be working, gathered around the tables. Plates, cups, bottles of varied drinks, beer, and bowls full of different snacks were set on the tables. 

Ashley and Kaidan are at the kitchen counter, their backs facing him. They are in the middle of sniggering at something Shepard clearly missed out on. 

He walks up behind them very quietly, his head peering over their shoulders.

"What are you two doing?"

Ashley yelps, dropping her spatula. Kaidan jumps slightly at the unexpected visitor, face turning red from embarrassment, his expression resembling that of a kid getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar, knowing very well they aren't supposed to do that. Looks like two squadmates forgot they have an infiltrator among them. 

Ashley turns to face Shepard, a guilty look on her face, icing splattered on her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

Shepard's breath hitches, his heart skips a beat or several for that matter, and his lips twitch upwards into a half-smile. Just when he thinks she couldn't get any more adorable, she somehow manages to prove him wrong at every turn. His mind races, thinks about all the things he would very much love to do to her, then forces them back down just as quickly, out of mind. He's not that guy anymore, if he's to be with Ashley, he is going to do it right this time. Though… something tells him she wouldn't mind too much. First, they have to get rid of a little problem, a Rogue Spectre problem.

Shepard looks at her sheepishly.  

"Chief… you got….er," Shepard clears his throat, "you've got icing on your face."  He points in the general vicinity of her face.

“Oh!”

Ashley wipes the back of her hands, also covered in icing, against her cheeks, resulting in an even worse smear than she had just moments ago. 

“Did I get it?” She asks him, her eyebrows furrowed together. 

His grin widens just a fraction more, breath caught in his chest. He can feel his cheeks turning a little pink. He reaches for a napkin on the counter, then lifts it up to her, raising an eyebrow.

“May I?” 

Ashley’s cheeks turn a bright pink, her eyes take on a look of utter embarrassment as she nods at him. 

“Where did you learn how to bake, Ash? Normally you put the icing on the cake, not bury your face in the container,” he teases as he wipes the icing with the napkin off her face. 

“My mom and I would bake cakes together for every special occasion. Birthdays, holidays...you know.” 

Shepard throws the dirty napkin in the trash, “Question still remains...why are you and Alenko baking a cake?” 

He looks around, still confused. He certainly doesn’t remember giving everyone permission to gather around. He isn’t opposed to down time, but there have to be at least a few people manning stations. Was there a special occasion he was unaware of? 

“Shepard, it’s your birthday…” Kaidan says incredulously. Wondering how someone could possibly forget it’s their birthday. 

“Wha…?” John squawks, now he’s the one with the incredulous look on his face. He checks his omni-tool, hoping this is somehow all a big joke. When he notices the date his eyes widen, and he mutters something under his breath that sounds along the lines of  “you’re shitting me.” 

“It’s April 11th… your birthday…” Alenko drags the last two words like it’s the most obvious thing in the whole galaxy.

John crosses his arms across his chest, and shifts his weight onto his hip. His M.O. that he’s about to be stubborn and stand his ground. 

“That’s nice. But I don’t celebrate my birthday. So clean this mess up, and get back to work. That goes for everybody,” he says as he uncrosses his arms, turns on heels to make his way back to his cabin. Instead, he comes face to face with a seven feet tall wall...a krogan wall to be exact. Wrex had come up behind him, blocking his way. 

“Out of my way, Wrex.” 

Wrex growls, Shepard’s scowls.

If there’s one thing that puts a sour taste in his mouth, it is people wanting to celebrate his birthday. He hasn’t celebrated since he was five and that’s simply because his mother was still alive that year. After that the birthday celebration ceased to exist, other than occasional shots he’d share with fellow soldiers, and wasn’t going to start now. 

“Anderson told us you might object so... Wrex here volunteered to be your personal bodyguard for tonight,” Alenko smirks and John balls his hands into fists, nails digging in his skin because he’d rather feel that pain than punch his friend in his smug-faced expression. 

John inhales loudly, he’s about to argue until he thinks better of it. He really isn’t in the mood to go head to toe with a Krogan at the moment. He uncurls his fists, exhales while throwing his arms up in the year in exasperation.

“Fine!” 

Engineer Adams cracks a beer bottle open, and hands it to Shepard with a sheepish look on his face. Shepard growls slightly before muttering a barely audible “thanks.”

“Chief, just one request… no candles” 

“I make any promises, sir.” Ashley gives him mischievous smiles. Shepard shakes his head before turning away to make his way to the table and sits next to Tali who seemed to be overjoyed by seeing human customs for the first time.

~~~~~~~

Ashley waits until Shepard finds a seat next to Tali at the tables before she turns around and picks up the spatula. 

“Great, the icing is ruined now’” she grumbles.

She feels Kaidan elbowing her just a bit. She looks to see him with a coy smile on his face.

“What?” She demands, one eyebrow raising to her hairline.

“Nothing,” he shrugs and takes the spatula from her hand. 

“You’re withholding something.” She sneers at him.

“Me?!” Kaidan feigns innocence. “I would never!”

Ashley rolls her eyes and snatches the spatula from Kaidan and washes it. It’s always the quiet ones you have to look out for, she thinks to herself. 

“I think the icing is fine, chief.”

“It really isn’t. Has to be perfect and there’s a spot missing icing and since someone sneaked up behind us, it’s going to be tricky to get it right without messing the rest of the icing.” She sighs as she dries the spatula with a dishcloth. 

“I didn’t take you for someone who demands perfection.”

“Really?! Have you seen your pistol, LT? Has it ever been in any better condition until I started taking care of it?” She scowls him.

“Good point.”

Ashley sighs. 

“Why don’t you let me give it a try.” Kaidan offers her a hand.

“I...oh alrighty.” With resignation, she sighs louder as she hands him the spatula and takes a couple of steps to the side to give him room. 

Kaidan eyes the cake for a moment before scooping up more icing from the container. He feels Ashley’s hot breath down his neck.

“Chief. I can’t focus while you’re breathing down my neck.” Kaidan looks down at her with raised eyebrows.

“I’m sorry! Okay. I won’t watch.” She sucks in her breath as she puts her hands over her eyes, though peaks through her fingers. She rolls her bottom lips between her lips, a nervous tell. 

Kaidan chuckles, shaking his head, slaps on the icing, and follows the trajectory that Ashley was doing earlier, somehow even making the icing look smoother than it had when she had done it. 

“Is it done?!” 

“It’s all good.”

Dropping her hands, she inspects the cake, a sly smiling making its way at the corner of her mouth.

“Not all heroes wear capes! Now, where’s that candle I had brought up earlier?” Before she can even look for it, Kaidan lifts up the candle to her eyes. She snatches it and places it next to Shepard’s name on the cake.

“I hope he doesn’t kill us. I am pinning this on you if he gets even more in a soured mood. Everyone should get to celebrate their birthday. You know what Anderson told me, last time we were on the Citadel?” She looks up to Kaidan, her eyes now distant deep in thought.

“No. What did he say?” Kaidan asks her, curious.

“The Skipper skipped out on his own birthday dinner with Anderson last year. Just no show. Anderson asked him about it later and the skipper just simply said ‘he didn’t feel like celebrating another year of making it out alive’.”

Kaidan’s mouth gapes open, and he closes it just as quickly. No words come out. Ashley couldn’t blame him. She had had the same reaction when Anderson had told him. 

“Anyways. Let’s go give him his cake.” Carefully, Ashley lights the candle with a lighter and picks it up while Kaidan picks up the cake they made for the dextro-amino crew mates and they make their way to the table while singing ‘Happy Birthday Shepard.’

Ashley’s gaze locks in with Shepard’s, his cheeks turn red and she feels hers heat up, forcing her to look away embarrassed. By some miracle, she manages to get the cake in front of him and chuckles when he covers his face with both his hands and mutters “for the love of God” at it.

“I told you I made no promises.”

“I know!” He grunts behind his hands before rubbing his face and blows out the candle.

“Now you get the honors of cutting, commander.” Kaidan smirks as he puts down the cake for the dextro.

“Yeah, no thanks. You know what,” Shepard picks up the cutting knife and hands it over to Dr. Chawkas, handle first, “why don’t you do me the honors, good doctor.” 

“Oh, Commander. I couldn’t.” She lifts her hands and shakes her head.

“Please. I insist. This is already too much.” Shepard levels the knife in his hand, giving her a sly smile.

“Well, in that case,” she sighs. 

While Dr. Chawkas cuts the cake, Shepard hands her the plates and she lays them on the table for anyone to grab until both cakes have been symmetrically cut. 

“So, Tali, I’m curious,” Ashley says as she slides in the seat next to Shepard and takes a bite from her cake in hand, “how do Quarians celebrate birthdays?” 

“Well. Quarians are only allowed one toy as personal possession while we’re children, and on our birthdays we part with them for us to get a new one.”

“Wait? You only get one toy?! Do you get to choose what it is at least?” Ashley asks Tali, perplexed. 

“Oh yes! We do get to choose among what is available, but we don’t always get what we like. We just have to make do. With limited space, we can’t get too choosy. That’s why on our birthdays we get to choose who gets our old toy, and we get to pick another one from what’s available in the storage.”

“Like a hand-me-down.” Ashley says as she licks her fork. She catches Shepard shuffling in his seat next to her in her peripheral vision, his hands grab hold of fabric from his trousers and he adjusts them slightly, pulling down on them. It took everything she got to resist looking down at him to see if she had managed to get a reaction out of him. She smirks. She reaches for an opened beer bottle on the table and opens it, gulping a good draft from it.

Ashley puts her bottle down on the table. “My parents couldn’t afford much on my father’s salary, so often, whatever I didn’t use anymore would get passed down to my sisters. But my parents always made sure we got something new for our birthdays. Something we wanted.” 

“Right. Something like that. But it wasn’t new.” Tali agreed.

“Heh! You humans and Quarians are soft. On our birthdays we drink ryncol and blow things up.” Wrex’s booming laugh shook the table. 

“Remind not to give you ryncol while on my ship,” Shepard shakes his head. 

The thought of the ship blowing up while they were in space was not a comforting one. How would he explain that one to the Alliance? Ashley could only imagine how the conversation would go for the Skipper’s side. Yeah, my krogan passenger decided to light the Mako on fire and send it off through the cargo door while it was still down, is probably what he would say. 

“Relax Shepard! After a few hundred years you don’t really care about celebrating anymore.” 

Ashley feels a shift beside her. Skipper. She gets a whiff of his musky scent mixed with cedar as he stands up and moves behind her to make his way to the counter. Her heart skips a beat, his signature scent always seemed to get her all warm inside. How can people not smell him coming? He just smells so good. She locks eyes with Kaidan who sits in front of her and feels herself starting to blush. Kaidan's eyes tell her he is on to her. Is she that obvious of her feelings for the Commander? Oh Gosh, what if Kaidan reports her? No. She tries to put those thoughts out of mind. 

Kaidan clears his throat, and he pulls her back to the present. Maybe she was panicking for no reason after all. 

“Now’s probably the time to give him what you got him, while he isn’t at the table,” he whispers. The others are too immersed in conversations to pay attention to the two of them. 

Ashley exhales deeply. “Right. Well here we go.” Standing up, she picks up the gift bag she had tucked under the table, and somehow Shepard had completely missed, at least, she thought he did and made her way to the skipper. 

Shepard’s back faces her and she inhales before she taps him gently on the shoulder. He looks back to her while washing his hands. 

“Williams.”

Ashley lifts the bag to him. “I...er… I got you a little something. Picked it up last time we were at the Citadel.”

He turns his head away from her, hiding his expression, and for a moment she thinks she has overstepped and maybe made a grave error. He dries his hands on a dishcloth before he turns completely to face her.

“Ash. You really didn’t have to do this. All this.” He looks back to the table where his crew conversed with one another. She could hear them laughing.

“Skipper. Really. It’s no big deal. In my family, we always celebrate everyone's birthday. It’s important.” She reaches her arm out towards him more, insisting he takes it. 

Reluctantly, he does. Slowly, he opens it up and takes a peek inside. He reaches inside with one hand and pulls out a weapon upgrade. An eyebrow reaches his hairline as he inspects it.

“How on Earth did you manage to get your hands on a Scram Rail X?! I thought only the Spectre Requisition officer had time in stock?”

“A girl needs to keep some secrets, now. Doesn’t she?” Ashley gave him a coy smile.

“Fine. Keep your secrets then Williams.” He returns her a smile. “Thank you.” 

Ashley rocks on her toes and points to the bag. “That’s not all. There’s more inside”

“Ash…” Shepard rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. A tell-tale sign he was feeling a tad uncomfortable. He places the Scram Rail X onto the counter and looks back down to the bag.  Ashley’s heart sinks a little when she remembers he’d been orphaned so young. Has he never celebrated his birthday before?

She waves him off. “Come on. Open it,” she urges him while bouncing on her toes. 

Sighing, he reaches down again and this time pulls out a box. He places the bag onto the counter and inspects the contents in his hand. 

“How-” His eyes widen, “how did you manage to get your hands on a WWII A-26 Douglas Invader aircraft model?!”

Ashley shrugged her shoulders.

“A girl has her secrets.” Shepard chuckles as he repeats her words and gently puts down the model box onto the counter.

Ashley suddenly gets pulled into a hug. She hadn’t expected this. For a moment she’s shocked, but it doesn’t take her long to return the hug and they hold onto each other tightly. She feels him bury his face in her hair. She feels him shake against her slightly. 

“Is it that bad?” She chuckles nervously as she rubs his back. She knows she should pull away, that this is against protocol, but she doesn’t care. There is just something about being in his arms that makes her feel at home and her heart sinks a little. She can’t imagine not celebrating the birthday of someone in her family. Every year, she and her sisters would always send vidmails to her father who was posted somewhere, eventually her sisters did the same for her when she joined the Alliance. In fact, she knew she would find one in her messages in a few days for her birthday. Shepard… Shepard has no one. He spent most of his life alone on his birthday. 

She rubs her face against his chest to wipe the tears that escaped her eye and trails down her cheek.

“No. Thank you, Ash. No one’s ever given me a gift quite like this one before.” He mumbles against her head. 

She hears footsteps coming up from behind her. She can’t tell who it is as her face is still buried up against Shepard. All she can smell is Shepard’s musky scent mixed with cedar, and she lets herself get lost in it. No care in the world, just the two of them at this moment, and she can count on her fingers how many times she has wished for this since he had shown interest in her and admitted he had feelings for her. 

Someone clears their throat behind her, bringing both her and Shepard back to the present and they separate. Shepard looks away, wiping his face with the back of his thumb. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt this moment, but I don’t want anyone making any fraternization complaints, Commander.”  Ashley turns to face the owner of the voice and sees Kaidan cleaning some of the dishes. She rubs her forehead with a hand.

“We weren’t...there’s nothing between us, I mean.” She starts to panic.

“Don’t worry chief. I didn’t see anything. It’s a birthday after all.” Kaidan reassures her as he picks up the dishcloth and dries the dishes.

Shepard picks up the mod and hands it over to Ashley. “I trust you’ll take good care of this.” 

“You bet, Skipper. The targeting system will be ready for our next mission. Sir.” She says as she picks it up and places it in her pockets.

Shepard gives her a wink before heading back to sit down next to Liara who sat with the others, yet still managed to be distant from them, this time.

Ashley feels a hard elbow to her ribs, and grunts. “What?!” She looks hard at Kaidan, trying to read his mind. 

Kaidan gives her a coy smile, his eyes twinkle with mischievousness Ashley didn’t think was possible for the goody two shoes Kaidan. He brings both his index fingers together and moves them around against each other, “Williams and Shepard sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

Horror struck, her eyes widen and her cheeks turn red, but what horrifies her most is that her eyes meet with Shepard’s and his eyebrows are raised quizzically at them’ his head slightly tilted to the side. He definitely saw something.  

“You’re blushing, Chief. I mean, I’m pretty sure you’re the same colour of beets right now.” Kaidan chuckles as he crosses his arms and leans up against the counter.

Groaning, she buries her face into her hands. “Oh dear, God. Shoot me now! This is your fault!”

“Hmm. I did no such thing.” Kaidan shuffles away and Ashley scurries to grab a plate of cake and a couple more beer bottles to bring up to Joker up in the cockpit to get away from everyone for a moment. She just barely manages to see someone placing a party hat on Shepard and immediately thinks who did that is a dead man or woman. 

~~~~~~

Shepard currently finds himself alone in the mess. Everyone has either gone back to their post to work or gone to bed. Shepard sits against the cupboards, he is holding his model box in hand, inspecting the box and reading the description. A couple of empty beer bottles are at his feet, a freshly opened one beside him.

“It’s not going to bite you know.”

He looks up to find Ashley standing in front of him. 

“I know’” is all he says. He tilts his head slightly to his left, an invitation for her to sit next to him. She does. 

“You ran off pretty quickly there earlier. Everything alright?”

“Yeah.” She shuffles a little and gets comfortable. She leans her head against the cupboards. “So who’s the dead one?” she asks him. 

“Huh?” 

She points at the party hat. His eyes follow her fingers.

“Oh! Crosby.” 

“Is he cleaning head?”

“Oh, definitely on latrine duty for two weeks. He just doesn’t know it yet.”  Shepard chuckles.

Ashley snorts.

They fall into companionable silence for a while.

“So. Whose idea was this anyway?” Shepard finally asks her after a few moments.

“LT’s and mine. Ander-”

“Anderson told you guys about last year, didn’t he?” He finishes her sentence for her. 

Ashley chews on her bottom lip before nodding. 

Shepard sighs and gently puts down his box between his legs and reaches for his beer. He is just a little upset with Anderson now, but he knows the man only had good intentions in mind. He always does when it comes to Shepard, and Shepard knows this very well. Ever since they’ve known each other, Anderson always has his back. He is the closest thing to a father Shepard would ever have. 

“He said you haven’t celebrated your birthday long before he even met you…” She stops there. Shepard knows she is holding back what she wants to say.

He takes a good draft from his beer. He isn’t sure if it’s because he wants a drink or needs to calm his nerves for what he is about to say.

“I haven’t celebrated since the year my mother was -” He hesitates.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”

Shepard feels a sudden weight on his shoulders and something tickling his cheek.

His eyes dart to his shoulder and he sees Ashley had let her head fall onto his shoulder. He brushes the free strand of her hair away from his cheek and tucks it behind her ear, brushing her cheekbone with his fingertips as he does so.

“She was brutally murdered, you know. I was five. Watched the whole thing happen. He didn’t even know I was watching. Hidden inside my closet.” 

“Skipper, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” Ashley wraps her arms around his closest to her and holds him close, tightly. She intertwines their fingers together. He doesn’t protest. 

“That was the last year we celebrated my birthday together. Wasn’t anything big, we didn’t have very much, but it was her and me and that was all that had mattered to me. Once you’re in a gang, you’re just a number to them. A tool. Birthdays don’t matter then.”

“But they matter to me. And you matter to me- us. So from now on we celebrate your birthday. Whether you like it or not.” She jams a finger against his bicep then goes back to hugging his arm.

“Hah! I guess I don’t have a choice in the matter?” Shepard chuckles.

“Nope. Not this time.” 

“That’s okay. I believe I have a few days left to plot my revenge?”

“You wouldn’t?!” She gasps slightly.

“You’re probably right.” Shepard shrugs nonchalantly as he takes his party hat off and slides it on Ashley’s head. He stares down at her plump lips and leans down toward her slightly. She tilts her head backwards, reaching out slightly, closing in on the distance. The smell of alcohol permeates the space between them as they inch closer and closer to each other. 

At the last second Ashley’s eyes widen just a fraction and she pulls away, red in the face. 

She clears her throat while she jumps to her feet. She rubs her hands on her fatigues as if to dust them off. Shepard notices the bit of nervousness coming from her. “I...er… I have some weapons to check out. I should get back to work. Wouldn’t want them to malfunction while on a mission. Sir.” She starts to walk away and takes the party hat off, holding it close to her chest. 

“Ash?” Shepard calls out and she stops dead in her tracks. She turns around to look at him.

“Sir?”

“Thanks, and... er… sleep well, Williams” His lips curl up into a shy grin.

“Happy birthday, sir.” She turns on her heels and makes her way toward the lift.

“Goodnight Williams.” He says more to himself than to her for she had already rounded the corner and no doubt was already in the lift making her way down to the cargo hold. 

From this prompt list!  Fic also available on AO3.